Democratic messenger. [volume] (Snow Hill, Md.) 1869-1973, 1881-06-04
WIT AND WISDOM.

it is big beet.
QUESTION in mathematics-f two de-
tectives can be put on scent, how
many Can be placed on dollar.
MEN are geese, women are ducks, and
birds of feather flock together. Rather
downy" way of putting it, Ell?
WILL the coming man wear stove
pipe hat ? is asked. Not unless he
smokes, replies the Elmira Free Press.
TREAT an evil companion with "skilled
negligence" and you will never have to
bear the curses that come home to roost.
FISHING is so good in the region of
Detroit this year that the Free Press
says there is no need of lying to back it
mp.
A CORRESPONDENT wishes information
as to what bench show is. Go to the
the nearest park any evening and find
out.
A CHICAGO editor gave his daughter
5000, 900 check ON her wedding day.
It afterward made an excellent lamp.
lighter.
L'EsTRANeE says: $50 long as we
stand boggling ct imaginary evils let us
never blame q horse for starting at
shadow"
IT was a tramping printer who
snapped boots with sleeping wanderer
and chalked on the soles of the worse
pair unidentified exchange"
A MAN must reap as he sows. In
broken natural law there is, as Shakes
peare suggests, "no more mercy than
there is milk in male tiger.
OUR modern cities can never suffer
the fate of Gomorrah, for while that ILL
fated city had but one Lot we have q
thousand good lots always in the mar
ket.
SOME boys at Kingston, NY, played
so many mean tricks on Chinese laun-
dryman that he went crazy, and now he
hasn't any more sense than they have.
-Peck's Sun.
1T is easy to be resigned to the small
pox when your neighbor has it. When
it threatens you your neighbors are in
turn resigned; but you leave town for
healthier cline.
"PERLEY takes the responsibility of
telegraphing to the Boston Journal that
"Mrs. Senator Malone has twice been
Iuc mObuGI Vi ttlpltbS. NO HOAOC1 ACA
husband was a readjuster.
THE most charming decoration for
plate is good piece of beefsteak with
we'll cooked potatoes and just sufficien-
cy of gravy. It will lay ever trailing
vines or sunfower any day.
THERE is no eloquence like the elo-
quence of example. A man does well
when he talks with words, but he is
irresistibly convincing when he talks
with the deeds of an honest life.
STEPHEN, the first martyr, was stoned
to death. Since his time hundreds of
infant martyrs have been rocked to
death. The child asks for nourish-
ment, and its mother gives it rock.
TELLING the truth" What beautiful
hair that young lady has" remarked
Jones in half audible tone. eyes,
replied Pingrey, "but it isn't hers. j."
"'Tis false p cried the young lady, sud-
denly facing the rude fellows.
IFA poor merchant should marry an
extravaganza girl, would his book-keeper?
If she should neglect to sew on his but
tons, would her dress-maker? And If
she should refuse to put on her own
clothes, would her hair-dresser?
AN intelligent lady asked sculptor
who was about completing the figure OF
a lamb, ''Did you cut out that animal ?"
"Oh, no." said the artist, "the lamb has
has been there all the time ; l only took
the marble from around him-that's
ALL"
"YoUNG Husband House cleaning
means for the women to tie towels
around their heads and run the men into
the street without any breakfast every
morning for a week or so, while they
break lamps and spill whitewash on the
stairs.
MOTHER, / shouldn't be surprised if
Susan gets choked some day." Why,
my son?' because young Smith
twisted his arms around her neck the
other night, and if she had not kissed
him to let her go, he wonld have stran-
gled her."
BOSTON young lady to Boston young
gentle -" And do you think that
Rants difference between the reason
and the understanding is correct ?"
eyes" "And, sir, what do you under
stand? ?" 81 understand that / love
you, but cannot give any reason for it."
"THE Bible says, Love your neigh
Dor as yourself, " the parson remarked;
"but of course we must not take this
literally. If You manage to love your
neighbor one-hundredth part as much
as you do yourselves, many of you, it
will be all that can be reasonably ex-
pected of you."
THE meanest thing was done at Keo-
kuk, Iowa, the other day by the heirs of
the Magoun estate, who got together
and settled their differences. The estate
is worth fully SIS, 900, and the lawyers
had only got $14, 500 out of it. 1t is
believed there has been trickery.
1Udukee San.
CoLERIDGE was very awkward and
ungainly man physically, but intellectu-
ally he was a match for the best. When
trudging along a country road he was
met by wag who thought to have some
sport. 81 say, man," he cried out,
"Did you meet a tailor on your way ?"
Coleridge looked up and mildly said,
" Yes, and he told me that little fur
Their on l should see his goose2"