The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1881-11-12
SPICE AND ALLSPiCE.

DULL people are not made sharper by
being ground down.-Net0 Orleans
Picayane.
If one dog can be placed on a scent,
how many dogs can be placed on trade
dollar?- Waterbury american.
A FASHION article informs us that cir
culars will be fashionable this fall and
winter. So we may expect TO have them
showed into our hands, just as they have
been all summer.-Boston transcript.
LADY lodger-" Your dog, sir, is un-
be arabic. He bowls all night" Male
lodger-" Indeed! Well, he might do
worse than that; he might play. the
piano all day."
was put out by couple of policemen.
mirable our police They arrest even q
fire. "-French.
An artless young lady reader wants to
know what the young men mean when
they call young fellow 'muff." A
mutf, sweetest one, is something that
holds a girls hand without squeez-
ing it.
New JERSEY is trying to claim Noah
because he is a Newark man. eyes"
remarks the Burlington Hawkeye, "but
you know he looked out of his Ark-ansaw
land. Give the south fair show in this
thing"
''Do you go to Sabbath school my
lad?" kindly asked a city missionary of
depraved little Dubuque urchin.
"Nary," answered the innocent child,
"but I've got fghtin' cock that can
walk over any bird in town that wears
gaffs."
A CONVICT is liberated from the galleys
after having served his term of imprison-
ment. "Well, goodbye" says the
chaplain, who has deeply interested him
self in the prisoner and has taken a real
affection for him; "good-bye, and good
luck, and try to come back to us as soon
as you can.
MErIGATED misery: $50 into the
room and bring that cake off the table,"
said an Austin mother to her son. cts
too dark; I'm afraid to go into the
ROOM" $50 right into that room this
instant, or I'll go in and bring out the
strap" "f-you bring-out the
strap. replied the boy, sobbing, bring
the-cake along, too. "-Teras SiftirgS.
81 LovEmy wife, young Mr.. Osculus,
who has been married only six weeks,
was saying: 81 love my wife as no
other man does" And the ripping
smile of appreciation went around the
company and died away in whispering
giggles in Swallowed windo w-seats and
dimly-hghted corners, and the young
man felt that he had failed to make him
self understood just as he wished to be.
IMPALED on hair-pin: What would
you do if you were l and were you?"
tenderly inquired young swell of his
lady friend as he escorted her home from
church. "Well, said she, "if L were
you should throw away that vile ciga-
rette, cut up my cane for fre-wood, wear
my watch-chain underneath my coat,
and stay at home nights and pray for
brains"
CONSCIENTIOUS GUARD: "I'm afraid,
sir, the young lady can't be permitted to
travel on half-ticket; she's much over
twelve years of age" Irate papa: DO
you mean to inform me, sir, that my
daughter and I are trying to swindle the
company? Let me tell you, sir, that we
have never been SO grossly insulted on
this line before, although we've both
travelled on it for over fifteen years p
AN old fellow whose daughter had
failed to secure position as teacher, in
| consequence of not passing an examina-
ton, said: "They asked her lots of
things she didn't know. Look at the
history questions They asked her
about things that happened before she
was born! How was she going to know
about them? Why, they asked her
about old George Washington and other
men she never knew! That was pretty
examination p
FITzNooDLE was out again worrying
| the life out of the ducks with his shot
gun. He blazed away at some ducks,
and an unseen man on the other side of
the pond rose up threateningly, with a
long gun, and called out, Ibid you shoot
at me ?'' did any of the shot hit
you?" inquired Fitznoodle. "Yes they
did, said the man rubbing his legs.
"Then you may be certain that [ didn't
shoot at you. l never hit anything |
shoot at. "-Laracaster hateLHgencer.
"WHAr has yer OATS good for a head
ache ?" The druggist took down large
bottle of salts of ammonia, or some such
stuff, and told Uncle Nose to smell. As
it was a free thing he drew in a healthy
inspiration that took away his breath.
1t was ten minutes before he could talk,
and when he did say something, it was
that he would bust the druggists head
wide open if he came at him with that
bottle again. but how about the
headache ?" asked the druggist. Glow
the deuce can l tell until I goes home
and asks de ole CONAN. She is de Gull
lud pusson whose got de misery in her
head. "-Tecas Siftings.