The Wellington enterprise. [volume] (Wellington, Ohio) 1867-188?, 1881-07-07

of bad penmanship, accompanied by
original sentiments, cribbed from old
authors. ...-.-.
Bathing-Rare custom. indulged in
from August to September, by people
who never think of it the rest of the
year. Almost obsolete; not found in
the new revision.
Baggage man -(See, also, Gehenna,
silva, 1cor oclast, Bosom, and Pestil-
| ence. 1.-The tormenting fury of the
summer tourist; giant with fabulous
attributes, who is expected to put two
sixty-foot trunks into one thirty-foot
baggage car, and is abused because he
| cannot.
Diary-A kind of ten day note
something nobody ever keeps month.
Elephant on private view at
| all summer hotels for the pleasure of
the tourist. Must be seen to be ap-
| preciated.
Fishing-A pedestrian amusement;
entirely destitute of fish. No summer
hotel is complete without it. Is
Fool-(See Zanv.)
Guest-The conundrum that is not
given up until the end of the season.
Hall boy-The lad who sleeps in bed
by night, and in the hotel Office by day.
Ice-cream-A deadly poison that
grows at all summer resorts. 1t is
swift and fatal There is no known
antidote. -o.i9H-
Joke-(See Ice-cream.) Bald, but
valuable as an antique. -.--..-.-
Keg-Great American specific for
| drouth of the trachea. Grows in the
| cellar, like a mushroom. But is larger,
and dosen't last so long.
Keel-hauling-What you get if you
ask the pilot question. f
Life-boat-A small boat, sO-called,
because it will not float anywhere ex-
eept on dry land, and where the life
boat floats no man can possibly be
drowned. a
Life-preserver-At thing used to paint
the name of the boat upon; a kind of
an anchor; useful in deep-sea sound
ings. i
Key-Something with brass tag on
| it, for the guest to carry away with him
when he goes home, to remember the
hotel by.
Neglected-The guest who forgets to
"tipn the waiter.
Nausea-One of the most delightful
features of Yachting. No seaside re-
sort is complete without it. 1t is the
only thing furnished for nothing. Get
all you want of it by simply going where
it is. About fifteen minutes is full
dose for an adult.
| Ohi-Remark made by tourists on be-
holding mountain, a sunset, the ocean
| or the new night-clerk.
Porter-Hotel attache who can see q
| quarter farther in minute than he can
see your baggage in week. His du-
ties are to forget your shoes, call you
for the wrong train, leave some of your
baggage at the hotel, lose your letters
and remember the half dollar you prom
ised him the first day you came to the
| house.
| Qualm-Anethcr Ingredient of yacht
ing. Ask the sailing master for it, and
he'll get you some in ten minutes.
Reading g-room-Department of sum-
mer hotel; furnished with a pen-holder,
blotting-pad, bottle half full of fluid and
a commercial directory. Stunned by all
people who wish to read.
| Storm-An atmospheric disturbance
which is "the worst the Captain ever
| experienced"
Summer board Three dollar fare at
thirty dollar rates. rs
Trout Stream-A mountain brook,
three feet wide, which contains no trout.
Trunk-H medium of exchange be-
tween the impecunious guest and the
avaricious landlord. Frequently laden
with bricks. or blown up with air. II
the baggage-man does not break the
trunk, the trunk breaks the landlord
| Umpire - An official at ball
matches, whose abilities are derided by
| the spectators and scoffed at by both
mines; whose decisions are disregarded.
his commands disobeyed, his inten-
tions and motives, maligned. and who
is usually knocked over with bat at
the close of the game, and is never,
never invited to the banquet.
Valise-An import ant article OF
tourist eluipage: thing which some
fellow usually nips and gets away with
while the owner is in the smoking-car.
Waiter-The gent who sits at the
table until the man behind his chair Is
ready to bring him his dinner.
Yachting-Fayorite recreation at sea-
side resorts, combining the sports OF
nausea and qualm. s..fe- ~
Zany-The man who leaves a COM
Portable, well-furnishei home, with
good table, big, airy bedrooms, pleasant
grounds, books and friends, to swelter
and fight mosquitoes in the 7x9 garret
of farm house a. S24 week all sum-
mer.-Buriissgtor Hdu0keye-