The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1881-01-15
A straightforward Answer.

- $500 "
Ibid you erer observe" said Colonel
Gilhooly to Major Spillkins, as they me-
andered down Galveston Avenue, Ibid
you ever observe, Major, how difficult
it is to get Straightforward answer, a
plain yes or no, from people generality"
Il don't think ever did"
"Well. SIR" continued Gilhooly,
"rll bet two schooners of beer that we
can 90 into dozen stores and ask if
they have certain things, and it they
have not got them, the storekeeper will
not say so, plain out, in one single in
stance"
Spillkins investigated his clothing,
and finding two car tickets, said it was
a bet.
Then they strolled into French or
Italian fruit-store, and Gilhooly asked:
Have you green watermelon for
sale?"
Watermelon exclaimed the as
founded foreigner, Z" zis is re wintaire
season."
81 didn't ask you for any meteoro-
logical intelligence. Anybody who pays
ten dollars cord for wood is apt to
suspect that summer is fading away;
besides, I've gat an almanac at home.
Have you got a green Watermelon?
Here is re orange, re banana, re
apple"
"Don't want lessons in botany. Have
you got a green Watermelon"
"Ze green watermelon is not ripe"
81 didn't ask you whether it was ripe
or not; merely asked you if you had
one; but come, Spillkins, let's 60. He
will give us a history of the French rev.
olution before he answers the question.
Let's meander."
The next place was millinery estab-
lishment.
Madam" said Gilhooly, shave you
fried mule for sale?"
The lady got as red as turkey-gob
bier, and craning her neck out, said:
"Sah?''
Have you fried mule in your ele-
giant establishments"
"rve got husband, sir, and broth
ers, who will protect me from insult"
II didn't ask for your pedigree,
MAIN. I've got one of my own. There
is no insult intended. merely asked
you civil question"
"rve got a husband. John! o,
Johnr'
"No need of calling him, nam. If
you will say that he is fried mule, you
needn't produce him. We. will take
your word for it,
John! o, John! come quick; here
are two galoots insulting me-"
Let's CO." said Spillkins.
"We might as well; she evidently
don't catch my meaning" responded
Gilhooly.
Look here, Gilhooly," said Spill
kins, somebody will exasperate US
yet and get themselves into trouble.'
81 am going to win that beer. You
won't find nybody on this whole street
that will say yes or no. Let us go into
this undertakers shop"
The undertaken was jolly-looking
man and advanced to meet them with
sunny smile, remarking:
Hope l can do something for you
to-day, gentleman"
s.Have you any canned lobster?n
asked Gilhooly.
THAT'S q good joke. I'll tell you
what / have got back here in the ice
box. I've got a stiff that was yanked
out of Galveston Bay last week. just
follow me, gentlemen"
Thanks! When we want to study
medicine we will send on to Philadelphia
for diploma"
But want to show you what an at
tractive establishment I've got"
"When want to see any curiosities
can go to a museum. Have you any
canned lobstersp"
"rve got neat thing in shrouds,
with frills all down the 'front.'"
Gillhooly shook his head, said he
didn't go a cent on style, didn't care
what kind of clothes he wore, and once
more they emerged into the street.
81 weaken" said Spillkins. "rn
pass an appropriation to pay for the
beer"
You might as well" responded Gil
hooly, "for you won't get one to an
swer straight out. II you 60 into that
drug store and ask for cranberry pie,
or some baled hay, or copy of Pops s
Essay on Man. or an accordion, they
will spring some new liver-encourager
on you or box of bunion eradicator. {"
And they went and got the beer
Galveston NeUs.