Democratic messenger. [volume] (Snow Hill, Md.) 1869-1973, 1881-05-21
Observation-Disclosures.

Il is often said that many man is
very fond OF women whom be is unwill.
ing to marry. The saying is partially
true. though no truer than its converse
that many man is willing to marry
a woman of whom he is not very fond,
or. indeed. not fond at all. The idea
indicated is that man may enjoy the
society of a woman and love to fiirt with
her, aud yet be afraid from prude ntial
motives to make her bis wife. This fire.
queUtly happens, but far less frequently
than might be thought; and when it
happens. the mao is cautious and iuclin
ed to reflect on the subject of his atfec-
tons and affinities. But marriage gen
orally has little to do with reason-pro-
badly because it ought to have SD much
to do with it-beiug determined. for the
most part, by instinct. impulse, passion.
As Q rule. doubtless, a man will marry
any woman with whom he is babitually
thrown 10 contact. when there is no great
disparity Of years or circumstances be
tween them. and when she knows how
to humor bis egotism.
The old-fashion notion that men look
with totally different eye on a woman
when they want wife from what they
look on women generally cannot be sus-
tanned. Albeit there are men ever in
quest of connubial partner, the mass
Of them get such a partner without
searching for her. They are very apt
to be surprised into matrimony, or,
least. into matrimonial intents --provid-
ed, of course, that the matter DO not
taken out of their bands by the woman
herself. No man is go likely to become
engaged as be who is persuaded that be
will never be. He is so prepared on
one side for circumstances of a certain
kind that he is wholly uuguardsd on the
other side for circumstances of an op-
posite kind. At the very moment that
he is confident Of everlasting celibacy,
that be is rejoicing over his freedom, q
sudden shift in Q sentimental environ
ment, a word, blush, q tear, a caress,
decides his doom.
What kind of woman is Q man most
likely to marry? A general answer
might be, any kind of a woman, the
kind being largely determined by con-
tiguity and opportunity. A popular
notion is that she who is prudent. con-
ventional. domestic, has the best coujug-
al prospects; while she who is indis-
Greet. obedient to impulse, fond OF pleas
ure. has the worst prospects. Ancient
spinsters. noted for primness, and ma
irons of the solemn order, incline to tell
light-hearted, rollicking girls that they
are throwing away good chances {; that
marrying men are deferred By their
giddiuess from serious consideration Of
the main subject. These are drawo. it
is asserted. to industrious, demure. un-
worldly maidens, who show at a glance
that they are matrimoDially foreordaiD-
ed. AS theory this may be specious,
but facts do not bear it out-the co.,
trary, rather. Men prone to co-opera
tive housekeeping approve of the indus
trious. demure, uuworldly creatures ;
they think they would make excelleD,
wives. aud wonder why some other man
does not marry them. But they seldom
ma, ry such women themselves.
Why don't they? They could not
tell if they should try. They know,
however, that they don't. and that they
don't want to. There seem to be two
sorts OF girls-,hose that ought. be-
cause specially fit, to be married, and
never are married, aud those that never
should and never will be, aud yet in
variably get married. The former are
usually the demure, industrious, 10
worldly, domestic the latter are the
easy, careless, merry, imprudeut. lrolic-
some, saucy girls. of whom men become
enamored for no reason at ell. and 10
spite of themselves. When q man fslls
in love aud cant climb out readily, he
avails himself of marriage, aud is often
extricated thereby without inten ding
it. He is no more logical in matrimony
than in celibacy !; the Same thing that
makes him q lover turns him into
husband, aud he is thrice blessed il be
does not discover q sharp and sudden
difference between the two. Il is pas
sion. not reason, aud is called the d.
vine passion because il is so thoroug bly,
human.
Men generally like one kind of we
men and love another kind. The one
kind they are commonly recommended
to wed, and don't; the other kind they
are advised not to wed and DO. Which
is the better-to take wife because you
like her, or to take wife because you
love her. Hymen alone knows, and he
won't tell II you do either or neither,
you may repent. There is no absolute
safety 10 wcdlock or out of il. No mans
experience is good for another man, aud
our own experience 10 erraiic affairs is
rarely valuable, for every time a man
falls 10 lose-and be has great alacrity
10 this wsy-the accident varies,
though the effect is unaltered. No mao
can say what sort of q woman will be
bis wife, aud il he be wise he won't ex-
press any opinoin on the subject. He
may cherish many views aud have
many beliefs thereupon, but the more OF
these be has the less likely they are to
be confirmed. He who insists. in his
| bachelor DAYS that his wife shall he n