Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1881-06-05
MRS. JOSllN'S BURGLAR.

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She bowed her fourth caller out po-
itely and hurried upstairs with an un-
usual degree of alacrity, for she was a
very social little woman, and generally
had at least dozen things to say to her
friends after the more-formal adieux
were over. This afternoon, however,
she was preoccupied in manner and,
when at liberty, bounded to her rooms
like an elastic cord suddenly loosed from
long tension. Her mother observed her
unusual manner, and, following her,
came upon her suddenly and found her
engaged in novel work OF reconstruc-
ton.
She had an entire suit of her husbands
clothing, and, at the moment of her
mothers entrance, was just completing
her work of art by securing fur tippet
underneath countenance manufactured
of charcoal on groundwork whose
ghastliness made it something to remem-
Der.
She had just fastened the bristling
beard in place and drawn back to gaze
somewhat admiringly at the result of
her own handiwork when her mothers
sudden exclamation surprised her.
Augusta Joslin, what are you do
ing?"
Making home attractive" said that
lady. demurely; then she sat down, not
gracefully in a chair, I am forced to re-
cord, but dumpily On the floor, and,
dropping her chin to her receiving
hands (you all know the attitude), she
gazed attentively on her Knight of the
Mustache.
"Won't it be funny?" she said, and
then she explained, but not so definitely
as will be necessary to acquaint my
readers with the existing state of affairs
in Mrs. Joslin's family.
She was nice, CHEEKY Little woman.
The heart of her husband reposed in her
so entirely that he never thought it ne
cessary to spend all his evenings at home
to see to her. Indeed, the iargeness of
his iberality in this respeos was some
thing more bountiful than Madame Au-
gusta was prepared to enjoy. She would
have been more than happy could she
have had larger portion Of the society
of her liege lord. His intentions were
doubtless of the very best, but he was
the creature of circumstances to a won
derful degree, and it filed his wife's
brain with amazement, and her heart
with grief, to learn how many friends
he had who were liable to be taken sud-
denly i'll, and in consequence to require
his fraternal care for the night. Then
there were lodges and various other de-
vices to waylay unsuspecting husbands
and keep them from their peaceful
homes.
After due consideration of all these
facts, our little madame resolved upon
plan, whose efficacy she was now about
to try. After she had built her man,
she allowed his comely figure to repose
on the floor until the gathering dusk
should permit her to station him just
outside of the door which opened on
second-story veranda.
She then attached small, strong cord
to the door-knob, let the end pass to the
floor and thence to another room, where
a dinner-bell was attached, and then
back to point from which she could
control it from her bed, her intention be-
ing that the same movement which
should ring the bell should also open the
door and reveal the burglar
With these preparations completed.
she went down to tea, with but little
hope of meeting her husband, as it was
not his habit to trust himself to her So
ciety at that hour, unless willing to
spend the entire evening at home. For
three successive nights he had left her
to loneliness and entered at an hour
when most she wished to sleep. And,
hi- not oil q
less one, she could not have done so had
she been more Indifferent than she really
was to the loss of his society.
Twelve o'clock. One; and shortly
after she heard the familiar step coming
rather YEARLY up the stairs, and ten
minutes later the deep regular breathing
which assured her that he was asleep.
A little longer she waited, then, rising
softly, she put on her wrapper and went
to an adjoining room for lamp, which
was, on this occasion, to replace the gas
She had just placed it where its rays
would fall most directly on the incoming
figure. She was about to pull the cord
which should open the door and reveal
the coming man, when her husband sud-
denly awoke and asked, in startled
manner: What's that lamp burning
for?" then. seeing his wife, "What are
you up for? Is anything wrong?" There
was but an instant for her to frame re-
ply which should cover the entire change
which must now be made in her plans,
but she did it. cob, there's nothing
wrong, Mortimer, only I'm SO nervous
find it impossible to sleep, so [ got up
and have been wandering around. y
cMHed hhe ersse z b smSk oh She
foot of the bed, drew little shawl about
her shoulders, and began telling him of
the various incidents of the day. Every
bit of gossip which had come to her dur
ing her morning walk and evening calls
was faithfully recounted.
She talked in her iveliest and most
engaging style. She asked his opinion
OF this and that statement, just as he
thought she was about to draw to a