Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1881-08-27
TABLE ErraUnrrE
Bill Nye's Delicate Hints Upon
Table Manners
Tho ooor.o-o,,-.
The Boomerang,

Ine boomerang,
There fare a great '-smanysipeople
who behave we'll otherwise, but at
our table they do things that If not
absolutely ontre and ensemble, arc
at least pianissimo and sine die.
I 1t is with a view 10 elevate tho
popular taste and etherealize, SO to
/ speak, 1.-THE manners and customs Of
our readers, that we give below a
few hints upon table etiquet.
If by writing an article OF this
kind we can induce one man who
now wipes his hands on the table
cloth to come up and take higher
ground and wipe them on his pants
we shall feel amply repaid.
If you cannot accept an invitation
to dinner do not write your regrets
on the back OF pool check with a
blue pencil. This is notregarded as
ricOchet.
A simple note TO your host, in-
forming him that your washerwO-
man refuses to relent, is sufficient.
On seating yourself at the table,
draw off your gloves and put them
in your lap under your napkin. Do
not put them into the gravy, as it
would ruin the gloves and cast
gloom over the gravy. If you have
just cleaned your gloves with ben
zine, you will leave them out In the
front yard.
Ifyou happen to drop gravy on
your knife-blade back near the ham
die, do not run the blade down your
throat to remove the gravy, as II
might iniure your epiglOttis, and II
is not embonpoint, any way.
When you are at dinner do not
take up raw oyster on your fork
and playfuIly ask your host if It is
dead. Remarks about death are in
very poor taste.
Pears should be held by the stems
and peeled gently, but firmly, not
as though you were skinnlng a dead
horse. 1t is not bon ton.
Oranges are held on fork while
being peeled, and the facetious style
of squirting the juice into the eyes
OF the hostess is now au revoir.
Stones in cherries or other fruit
should not be placed upon tho ta-
ble-cloth. but slid quietly and unos-
tentatiously into the pocket of your
neighbor or noiselessly tossed under
the table.
If you strike a worm in your fruit
do not call attention to IL by mash
ing it with the nut cracker. This
is not only uncouth, but II is regar-
ded in the best society as base and
exceedingly vice versa.
Macaroni should be cut into short
pieces and should be eaten with an
even and graceful motion, and alb
sorbed by the yard.
In drinking wine, when you get
to the bottom of your glass do not
throw your head back and draw In
your breath like the exhaust ofa bath
tub, in order to get the last drop, as
il engenders feeling of the most
melancholy among the
guests.
After eating a considerable
doInotl rise and unbuckle
your vest strap i'm order to get rnOre
room, as il is not exactly au fat and
deshabille.
If, by mistake, you drink out OF
your finger-bowl, laugh heartily,
and make some facetious remark
which will change tho course of con-
versation and renew the friendly
feeling among the members Of the
party.
Ladies should take but ono glass
Of wine at dinner otherwise there
might be difficulty in steering the
male portion of the procession home.
If one of the gentlemen should
drop a raw oyster into his bosom,
and he should have trouble in fish
ing il out, do not make facetious re-
about il, but assist him tO
find it, laughing heartily all the
time.