The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1881-03-29
ff.I
Eow to Gain a Young Iady's
"'q Affections. NJ b

i q
The subject OF this essay is theme
fraught with interest, to all; jot the
male sex. Methinks [ can see many
anxious Youths prick up their cars
and listen with eager atieiition 10 my
discourse as soon as theltitle is AIN
nounced, TlIow to gain ayoung ledy's
affections" Yes, how !? that is, the
question that many love.lorn strip
ling has poadereI deep within his
heart, but which, 10 him, remains un-
answered. ss,sildng ttan,2 ~8p
! And to this question, my eager in
quirers, win answer, tirst:--not by
boring her. Don't make her the re.
cipicnt OF attentions OF which sle is
sick don't POKE flowers at her when
yon know she cares nothing for hew-
ers; don't Insist OH bearing her com-
pany TO places of entertainment when
you know thai she would rather 20
with the Old Scratch instead and
lastly, but not leaslly, when calling
on her don't sit and talk four hours
on sthe stretch about the weather,
when an hours visit would be suffici-
Ont TO exhaust that subject. 1t is not
very fla.tering 10 our self love to
imagine fora second that any young
lady could get tired Of our society,
especially when we are converting ON
such entertaining Topics, bnt it is bet
ter TO have q lille doubt on The mat
ter than TO run tile, risk OF becoming
disagreeable. Ny advice 10 all Young
men then, is--bewar of becohling
borea. lt.is the greatest risk run by
the male sex.E Iiat ~ aj anei sH'
But have only stated, so far,show
one cannot gain a. Young llady's aiIca.
lions, which is an indirect way OF an
swering The question: ifait cah be
termed an answer at all. | will now
approach the subject more directly
and right in the beginning will in.
form all eager listeners that there is
nothing easier y be done than this
thing OF gaining 4 young lady's ailec-
tions, In, order 10 accomplish this
desirable result the young lady ia
question must be sindied her char
acter, disposition and tastes must be
the theme of intense mcditaiionl du-
ring your leisure moments. Docs
she admire mouslache, and an lii-
kind fate has denied you that appcn-
dage, cultivate nssiiuously the soil
on your upper lip until it brings forth
phantom harvest. Does she dote
on small feet? LET not your soul
shrink al the thought Of tight boets.
Your martyrdom will be rewarded
in the end. And ohl should her
heart incline towards. a tall, slender
figure, be sure TO make use ofNall the
means which AIT has placed at your
| disposal to increase your height =
Cause your bootmaker 10 mako you a
pair of heels SO high that you seem
10 be constantly pronenading on
stills request your tailor to matcri.
ally increase the length of your coal
tail. and be sure TO don a shirt collar
reaching 10 the top of your ears. The
result will be the certain elongation
of your person and general improve
ment in looks. These precautions.
duly taken, will almost insure sue
cess, as a matter of course. '7"'p-i .
Bnt,in addition TO the means TO he
taken in improving ones personal
appearance there are other ways to
charmNhc fair sex, in regard to which
| will only make slight reference IN
this. short essay, refer to the atien.
lions which young man should pay
the object Of his deYotion. First, her
tastes should be carefully studied, as
| limited before. Should she be Of q
literary turn Of MUD, It would be
well for him to spend an hour or two
every night in reading various popu-
lar works, preparatory to calling on
his .adored. Then with mind well
stored with Information he should
pay his visit, launching forth imme-
diately on his,arriyal into a conver.
sa,ion about books, during which II
would be both graceful and proper in
him to make quotations from Snakes
peare, Byron, Henry Ward Beecher,
Helen's Babies, etc. Such remarks
would be suro TO have a. telling effect
on the young lady in question. But
why ueed multiply instances of the
kind2 Many others will readily sug-
gest themselves 10 the mind OF the
intelligent .reader.iI need only say TO
the despairing loyer, study the likes
and dislikes of his beloved, What
ever she most admires that you must
try 10 be, even though it should be an
elephant or tadpole. My opinions
ought to be Of some weight on this
subject, because | have had some OK.
perience in the matter. = Ns'H.tl
The above was written by ayoung
lady student Of one Of our colleges in
this city, three years ago. We pub
lish it for the benefit of the boys,
without stating how il came into our
possession, and without the knowl.
edge Of the younglady who wrote it,
Ed .f.4 a1a