Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1881-10-07
f. Il N

w udU LIDS ou0 UOuO
s'Shes done more'n the snakes, and if
the snakes war lies that hens whopper-
that's all can say" and he looked deeply
injured.
s'Tell US about her, anyway" said the
city editor.
~ er hearn about the cat that hat ched
chickens. reckon. Well. my old speck
led hens been discountin that cat. She's
Matched four brood of kittens; one in each
brood"
-Oh, go home and sleep it OFF, recon-
mended the indignant city editor.
Fact -Four brood, and one to each
brood. l seen her gettin restless and set
ten around on things and tried fer to
knock her out of the idee. No use. She'd
set onto a hot flat-iron but what She set.
Fust she Matched an cid milk pail into tin
cups, and then she squatted on some dough
that was sot to Use, and I'm slagged if she
didn't hatch oct dozen biscuit and thep
try to learn 'em how to swim. | SEEN ST.
was gittin' right proody, and l says to ti,-
old woman, says l, Mar sumpin' must b
done fer the speckled hen with the blu
hackle. Mar tumbled to the idee, ant
says she, Yer bet yer life! So with al
that figgered what we'd best do Viii
we was fggern' she sot on load o. cord
wood, and I'll eat grindstun. if it dldn'.
come out all sawed and split. I'm telin
yer this so yer wont think the kittens was
unnat raj. Well, mar and me fggered, and
while we was fggerin' the speckled her
was figgerin' too. She hopped Oil to
bar'l O. scrap iron, and I'm drunk if sht
didn't whack out two hundred papers @
tacks. We seen that sumpin' had got fe,
to be done right off, but before we hit ont
the scheme, yer can lick me if TORNADO
didn't take the roof off'n my house OF
course, you know, we forgot the old hen
for few days. Dog my skins if she didn'i
set On the pump handle and hatch it into
toothpicks. Sure's yer born. Somehow
my reapin' machine got under her DIT
night and the next mornin' it was rail-
road spikes. You never seen nothin' like
it. She was bent for to set, III tell yer.
There was three hard-shell CLANS out il.
CuO Jdlu anu oUt Ou eu duu udCCiltu Uu'
Holsters. If she didn't I'm liar .
''No doubt of 1t; but how about the kit
tens2''
"Well, the men come to put new roof
on the house; got there just before Dime! :.
and left their tools into the yard. l seer
the oil hen watchin' them tools, but
didn't think no harm. Just before that
''Never mind anything else. Come dowi.
to the CATS
''Jist SO. While we was at dinner l seer
her explorin' around, and 1 didn't know
from what happened the day before--''
Drop that!' said the city editor sternly.
"Give US the four brood of Cats, one
a brood"
well, the four WOrkmen was at dinner
and the old speckled hen with blu
hackle was nosin around, says l to Ma
Mar"
"Out with those cats, quick!'' and I'll.
city editor took down a scythe.
''Certainly. The tools was outside, you
know, four sets on 'em, in-what's tlis
they carry tools in?''
"a kit?"
IAN that old speckled hen sot on then;
four kits, and if she didn't latch out fou4
brood Or
Parties desiring to exchange new
scythe for a secondhand one, somewhat
out of repair, will please apply to the e.
gle Office for two days. Brooklyn Eaqle.
The woman who marries does we'll, but
the woman who does not marry does bet
ter nine times out of ten.
The hog may not be thoroughly posted i'll
arithmetic, but when you come to square
root he is there-the hog is.
Why is Sep the most unfortunate of let
tiers? Because it is never in cash, always
in debt, and never out of danger.
Why is the money you are in the habit
of giving to che poor like newly-born
babe? Because it's precious little.
Some people are so splendid that they
might sit as long as hen and not ever
produce a cackle.
A temptation for milkmen to emigrate
to Kansas is the fact that extensive chalk
beds exist there.
There are some men SO laxative that
nothing but the toothache can make one
them hold bis jaw.
The wise editor should sail lightly down
tie stream of life, because he is "a good
clipper.
"What is lover" It's feeling that you
don t want any ether fellow going round
with her.
The grocer sets good egg sample in the
window. Those in the basket are often
not so good.
One hair in the hash will cost more hard
feelings than seven notices on the walls
: can overcome.
.'to to the ant, thou sluggard,' is all
very well, but if that sluggard will go to
picnic the ant will come to HIM.
Why is turnpike gate like dead dog 3
tail? Recausa il stons a wayrIn -