The Portland daily press., 1881-03-19
THE PRESS.
The Skidmore Chop.
[San Francisco Post. ]

lSau rrduclsco Iost'J
While the proprietor of the Maison Doree
was standing behind his counter tho other day,
catching flies for currant cake, and wishing
that little of the business wave the eastern
papers say so much about would slop over into
his restaurant, as it were, young man with
beaming smile on his face and a big box under
his arm, entered.
Don't want any sleeve-buttons, nor nuth-
in ;" growled the dyspepsia distributor, glanc-
ing at the box.
mo, nor f. said the stranger, affably, de-
posting the box on the counter and removing
the lid "But what you do want is the great
est invention of recorded time-the restaurant
keepers friend-the clearinghouse proprie-
tors salvation.
Roach poison?" said the steak stretcher con-
temptuously.
mo, SIR" retorted the young man, taking a
handful of singularly shaped objects out of the
box. Something that beats 1.-The photograph
and the telephone all hollow. / refer to the
'Skidmore chop!"
Whats that?"
why, it's the most economical device of
modern times aud I'll prove it right here Sup
pose you are serving a dinner to, say half-a-
dozen persons? Now, how many chops do you
put on the table?'
well, about two apiece, say twelve'
"And how many are eaten?"
"Huml about four"
"Exacly-that is about the average as our
restaurant statistics show. AS a matter of
course you are obliged to cook three times as
much as you need, to make show. Now, if
you could save six chops every dinner for a
year it would amovnt to ="
"A fortune" said the man of outlets eager
ly. "All we can do with 'em now is to work
EN- over into hashes."
Peace to your hashes," said the agent; "all
this ruinous waste is now prevented by the in
PRODUCTION to the same dish of the patent Skid
more indestructible India Rubber Chop put
up in packages of one dozen, and warranted
for five years." and the food economizer exhi-
bited some life-like limitations of cooked NUT
ton chops.
Looks like good scheme" said the con-
coctor of stews thoughtfully, "but don't the
customers ever"
Ever tumble? Not in the least. He only
notices that one chop is a little tougher than
the others, and finally gets his fork and chews
ahead. These smaller ones come higher, as
they are made of little more timber article of
rubber, for lamb chops. Can't be told from
the genuine by the naked eye. All you have
to do is to grease em on both sides, warm 'em
up "a little, and serve 'em mixed in with the
others same as usual"
Seems like they're about as tender as the
regulation kind, said the restaurauter, jab-
ping one with FORK. Don't they ever get
eaten by mistaken
"No-no- that is, not now. We did lose a
few that way when first introduced, but now
that we make the material tougher it don't
happen any more unless they swallow 'em
whole. Why, here's specimen that's been in
use in Chicago eating saloon for three years,
night and day, and you can't see the first tooth
print in it yet"
That settles it," said the restaurauter, 'sI'l
take gross"
Il thought you would, said the chop agent,
as he took down the order and emphatically
declined an invitation for some lunch. 81 will
drop round in a few days and show you sam
pies of some soft white rubber HOLSTERS we are
getting up especially for the country trade
make the best article of indestructible salad
KNOWN" and he shouldered his box and
walked off in the direction of Baldwins hotel