St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1881-08-20
ALL SORTS.

A good trade mark-A big ad-
vertisement
| The sassyist man I ever met IL
q hen pect husband when he IL away
from home.
1t is supposed that the comet
came along this way just to look in
on the Star Route business.
A Norwich man advertises him
self rs Temperance boot-maker. It
is inferred that the snakes never
got into the wares
Young man, learn to wait; if You
undertake to set hen before she
is ready you will lose your time and
confuse the hen besides.
A young lady who was blamed
for allowing her glove to be found
in young mans pocket, stated
that she had no hand in it.
Jones thinks a man is fortunate
who has his will contested after
death only. He says his will has
been contested ever since he was
married.
The men who give up their seats
to ladies in Boston street cars are
regarded with suspicion and thought
to be laboring under attacks Of
emotional insanity.
They had . very unsatisfactory
lecturer at the Beanville Lyceum
the other night. and yet, when he
closed his discourse, his audience
gave him three jeers.
Young man. a diamond pin looks
real nice and glistens brightly, but
when 81 q week supports man
and pin both, one or the other is
not genuine.
"Julia," said a young man to his
sweetheart, won't you knit me q
muller r Julia knitted her brows
in o way that "muf1ed" the young
man instantly.
"I'm so glad, ma" said devoted
son, shat you are my mother"
why, my son?" asked the pleased
mamma. Because you never can
be my mother-in-law," was thefilial
reply.
"You take mp q great deal of
room here" said conductor to a
piggish passenger who was trying
to occupy three seats; "but, then, "
he added, "you even it up by tax
ing up but o very little room in
your hat" Applause by the other
passengers.
"Eloise" asks if we will publish a
poem on 'The Wavelet of the Rivu-
let" With a smilelet upon our
facelet we reply yes. Write only on
one sidelet Of the sheetlets, Eloise.
and put on enough stamplets. Your
poemlet shall have spacelet.
Old lady: "Oh, Mr.. Heckles,
you've stuffed my parrot very badly!
all the feathers are coming out al
ready Taxidermist: "Why, Lor
! bless yer. mum, thate the puffection
O. stufinI You know the moulin
,, seasons now a comm on, mum!
, Irascible old party: "Conductor,
why didn't you wake me up when
I asked yon; I am miles beyond my
station" Conductor: II did try
but all could get out of you was
All right, Maria; get the children
their breakfast and I'll be down in
/ a minute. :"
When Pat went o cunning fol
: the first time. he made one shot and
, then looked under a tree for biz
game, and found a toad. "Begorra,
3 be exclaimed, I'D SCARCELY recog
: nize ye, but We must have been {
moighty foine bird, before I sho
the feathers of ye."
"Biddr," said a lady to her ser
want, 81 wish you would step ovel
and see how old Mrs. Jones is thil
: morning." Biddy soon came bacl
t in huff, and said that "Mrs- Jone'
!, thought it was a great piece of i'm
r pe'rance for her neighbors to be I
1 pryin' and spyin' about her age"
Doctor g., who was bald, wa
once visiting a lady patient
: whose little son, George, was tryin:
I to comb her hair. "Do stop, Geor
: gy," she exclaimed; II don't wan
= all my hair pulled out !" "You don
hey? Why did the doctor let hi
: / wife pull out most all of his hair?
! responded Georgy.
q II Just went out to see q frien'
. for a moment" said the beau, as b.