The daily gazette., 1881-07-02

"Pap's 20 pO' he can't run me no mo-
90 want to git show somers II I can.
'taint no diffunce what. I am strong
and hearty, and dont't turn my back
on no kind Of work, bard nur soft"
ado you think you would like to
learn the printing business"
"Well, / don't reilly k'yer darn what
do learn, SOS ] git a chance fur to make
my way. I'd just as soon learn print'n'a
anything" =
aCan you read ?"
"Yes-midlin."
"Write ?"
"Wen, I've seed people could lay ov-
or me thar"
"Cipher." f +
"Nos good enough to keep store
don't reckon /; but up as far as twelve
times-twelve ain't no slouch. .,Tother
side of that is what gifts me-"
Where is your home p
I'm f,m old shelby
what is your father's religious de-
nom ination p
Him Oh, he's blacksmith
"No, pQ--I don't mean his trade.
What's bis religious denomination ?" J
sOh, didn't understand you beto'.
He's freemason.'
'tNo, no-you don't get my mean
ing yet. What l mean is, does he be-
long to any church :"
''Now you're talkin' Couldn't
make out what you was tryin' TO git
through yo' head no way. Belong to
churchf Why, boss, he's been the
pixenest kind of Free will Baptis'
for forty year. There amt any pizener
ones m what he is. Mighty good
man lap is. Everybody says that.
If they said any different, they wouldn't
say it whar ! wuz-not much they
wouldn't"
"What is your own religion Z"
swell, boss, you've kind % got me
thar"
"What Is your namep"
'sNicodemus Dedge."
81 think maybe you'll do, Nicode-
mus. Wen give you q trial. any
way"
''All right"
"When would you like to begin p"
"Now."
30, within ten minutes after we had
first glimpsed this nondescript, he was
one Of us, and with his coat off and
hard at it.
Beyond the end of our establish
ment which furthest from the street
was deserted garden, painless and
thickly grown with the bloomy and
villainous '.jimpson'' weed and its
common friend, the stately sunfower.
In the midst Of this mournful spot, was
a decayed and aged little ttframe"
house with but one room, ono window
and no ceiling it had been q smoke
house q generation before. Nicode-
mus was given this lonely and ghastly
den as q bed chamber.
The village smarties recognized o
treasure in Nicodemus right away-a
butt to play jokes on. 1t was easy to
see that he was inconceivably green
and confiding. George Jones had the
honor of perpetrating the first joke on
him he gave him cigar with fire.
cracker in it and winked to the crowd
to come !; the thing exploded presently
and swept away the bulk of Nicode-
mus eyebrows and eyelashes. He
simply said:
81 consider them kind of seeg'yars
dangersome," and seemed to suspect
nothing. The next evening he way
laid George and poured bucket Of ice
water over him.
One day, while Nicodemus was in
swimming, Tom McElroy "tied" his
CLOTHES. Nicodemus made q bonfire OF
Toms By way OF retaliation.
A third Joke was played upon Nico.
demus . day or two later-he walked up
the middle aisle OF the village church
Sunday night, with q staring hand bill
pinned between his shoulders. The jek-
or spent the remainder OF the night, af-
ter church. In the cellar OF deserted
house, and Nic0demus sat on the cellar
door till toward breakfast time to make
sure that the prisoner remembered that
II any noise was made some rough treat
ment weuld be the consequences, The
cellar had two feet of stagnant water Ia
It, and was boltomed with six inches OF
mud.
Before very long time had elapsed,
the village smarties began to feel an un-
comfortable cousciousness Of not having
made very shining success out OF their
attempts on the slmpleton from aold
Shelby" Experimsntersi grew scarce
and chary. Now the young doctor came
to the rescue. There was delight and
applause when he proposed TO scare
Nic0demus to death, and explained how
he was going to do IL. He had q noble
now skeleton--the skeleton OF the late
and only local celebrity, Jimmy Finn,
the village drunkard-a Rrisly piece Of
property which he had bought OF Jimmy
Finn himself, at auction, for nifty dol
lars, under great com petion, whom jim
my lay very sick IN the tan-vard fort.
night before his death. The fifty dollars
had gone promptly for whisky, and had
considerably hurried up the change Of
ownership In the skeleton. The doctor
would put Jimmy Finn's skeleton In
Nlcodemus' bed.
This was done-about half-past ten In
the evening. About Nicodemus' usual
bedtime--midnight--the village jokers
came creepipg stealthily through the
jimpson weeds and sunfio wers toward
the lonely frame den. They reached
the window and peeped In. There sat
the 1opg-legged pauper on mis- bed, In
very short shirt, and nothing more. he
was dangling his legs contentedly back
and forth, and wheeling the music OF
"Camptown Races" out Of paper over
laid comb which he was pressing against
his mouth; by him lay . new jewsharp, q
new top, solid india.rubber bali, 4
handful of painted marbles, Eve pounds
of t'store" candy, and wellgnawed
slab Of gingerbread % big and as thick
rs volume OF sheet music. He had
sold the skeleton To travolinn uuaek