The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1881-07-21

Of their own number doesth clerical work.
West VirginIans are at all times ready to
talk about our debt. They don't intend to
pay much OF Il. The first thing they want
us TO do Is TO account for the assets OF the
old partnership. That's their great point
at least they seem to believe II IL, from the
prominence they generally give 1t.
/ have said something about Springs
storytelling. Here is story l heard
told by distinguished Richmonder. l
would give him personal credit for 1t II l
were sure that It wasn't marred by my at
tempt to reproduce 1t. Il Is
DEDICATED TO ALL YEwsPAPER'MEs
as signal evidence OF the power Of the
press, and Is perfectly authentic:
A New England minister, upon The ap-
proach OF Thanksgiving. day some years
ago, resolved TO take pew departure In the
matter Of services for that occasion. In
stead OF the usual stereotyped sermon be
resolved to call upon the members OF his
charge TO tell what they bad to be thankful
for. The time came, and he called on Bro
theirs a, B, G, and d, and the responses
were prompt, hearty, and full OF gratitude
for the blessings OF every day lie in this
happy land OF ours. 1t was wonderful In
deed how much there was that these
brethren. In common With the people gen.
orally, had 10 be thankful for. and how long
they had enjoyed the good things OF life
without thought Of giving public express
sion OF their Indebtedness therefor. After
these four brethren had related their expe-
riences there was luIl; no one else SEEM
ed disposed 10 speak. The pastor, unwlll.
ing that the successful undertaking should
he brought 10 so abrupt termination,
said:
"Are there any Others here who wish to
tell what they have to be thankful for Are
there any strangers present who would like
to speak -? IL so, let them do So"
At this interrogatory and invitation there
arose in a far corner OF the church q man
by brogue and appearance an Irishman.
"YOur riyerence," said he, "Pye some
thing to be thankful for"
well, speak on, my friend, we'll be glad
to hear YOU" said the Enthusiastically
anticipating that the stream OF good talk
was about to be startled anew.
"Well," said the stranger. "some time
ago Henry Ward Beecher said that bread
and water were good enough for the work
ingman. Ever since then the newspapers
have been giving him the devil, and-I am
glad OF it,"
After that the only thing the minister
could think OF TO say was the benedictlon,
and it was speedily pronounced, and the
tittering congregation dismissed.
The following is one OF
"DR. LAFFERTY's BEsT":
II was when the "stars fell" in 1893
There was q fishfry and squirrel-muddle-
a sort OF Brunswick stew-the evening be-
fore. II was in Southampton county, Va,
where brandy Is staple. There was nc
Society 10 Encourage Moderate Drink
ing" so every man at the frolic poured
down the extract OF the apple, raised to the
nth power. Newton Morris, jolly bache'
lor, who kept house to himself" went
home from the feast full as tick.
By break Of day his fat cook rose and saw
the heavens raining stars. She rushed foI
the great house," knocked the door open
and beloved "Lor, Moss M, the jedg
ment Is come" M reused up. What
are you holering about, Polly 7" "JesI
look ont the winder; the stares drapping
down everywhar."
Nu pulled aside the dirty calico curtain
and his dull eyes widened. He yelled
"POlly ! Polly take that pail and fetch il
full OF water from the spring" His thirst
and theology seized him at the same time.
"From the north side OF the spring, Polly
for where am going water is SCerSe."
Presently the faithful servant brought the
bucket brimming. Nu gripped 1t and
emptied 10 the last gill the cooling contents
down his brandy-burnt throat. The me
teoric display allrmingly increased. So did
Nus fear. He beckoned 10 the cook
" Polly, another pailfu. From the north
side. Be sure It's from the north side" II
came. NJ kept his eye on the brilliant and
awful shower and guggled the water. II
was said, as ToneY Weller observed OF th(
females at the tea-drinking, "he began &c
wisably swell before your eyes,"
At daylight the fall Of the meteors ceased
but M was waterlogged-in the trough oi
the sea, as it were. The doctor was sem
for. The neighbors came over. There wa
a double wOnder-the fall Of the stars an(
the overflow OF M. The physician was al
his wits end. The patient was mlred II
his own sIush. How to bail him out wa
the question. Remedies were tried in vain
Nh continued befogged. BE oozed all over
There was a driZzIe as in the Ions
season in May. A fellow from tn,
pine section over the Roanoke pu
10 suggestion: Take him to North Caro-
lima and dry him on a tar kiln. 1t wa
agreed to by acclamation. They got M IL
a wagon and set cut for the turpentin
region. He leaked all along the road. Thel
found the biggest and hottest tar kiln
They wrapped NJ around it. He put tht
fire out and eft moisture enough 10 begin
brickyard. CHESTER.