davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Richland beacon., 1881-08-27
NUMBER "a.
PLEASAN1'KlE&
pFrUAL motion-Scandal.

PERPETUAL. motion-Scandal.
THE fishery question-Got bitef
WHERE was she when he spiderP and
vii. re will she beetle he sees htY again
MATCH safe-One put up where the
small boy can't get at it
The store maple sugar Is now known
as the olcomargarine OF the forest.
The telephone has developed al EN-
tircly new school Of hello cution.
NATURE abhors a vacuum. That is
IT,, r. ason there are so many fools IN the
word. Dune Nature Was bound to fill
up with something.
LADIES probably think that bangs are
killing. They are sometimes fatal. The
one that Goliath got in the forehead did
the business for him.
WIscoxsIN wolves have become so
hard ur Tor provender that they chase
young men who part their hair in the
...ntrc. The dear, pet lambs!
Tnr following is q true copy OF sign
81 an academy out West: Freeman d
iGuags, school teachers. Freeman
t5achcs the boys and Huggs the girls.
Mrs. O. LEAH MARGARINE has arrived
- ,lc city. Her friends think her the
cr,.nl, de Ia creme, but her enemies
: flank differently Washington Rcpub-
iican.
Jack, what relation to you is that
old gentleman 1 saw you with this
m"rning?' "Oh, not much; he's mar
ricd to my grandparents only
daughter"
"Ynr don't know how glad am to
sec you, Clara, dear" "Oh, yes, l do,
replied Cara dear; "JOhnny told me
that he heard you say you would rather
|, die than see me-"
MOTHER" Now, Gerty, be good
girl, ana give Aunt Julia kiss and say
goodnight" Gerty-"No, mol if /
kiss her she'll box my ears, like she did
papa's last night"
INSPIRATIONS como to writer's without
, the ,yas, warning, and in all sorts OF
u places. The following must have struck
+ the editor of the Rochester Express
' while he was getting his hair curled
: at is not NECESSARY for man to keel
- his mng at the BARRIERS shop, but 1T
% must take it there to be shaved"
" A GENTLEMAN from the North wa
. spending the evening with a Galveston
" = gentleman whose acquaintance he ha'
, mace. On reaching the house the stran
% GER asked: "Have you any old Texa
% relies or curiosities2" "Certainly.
- =: WIS the reply; "allow me t
10 make you acquainted with my mother
: in-law."- Galyeston News.
,o "THosr cigars I bought here yestel
al day we're mighty bad" Dealer-"Bad
ho Why, sir, I've sold thousands and thou
N. sands of those cigars, and you're th
I'll first one to find fault with them" Cu'
or tomer-"I don't know anything abor
- that. but l know that when tried
MI smoke" Dealer-"Ah,I I see, I se'
90 That's where you made Q mistake.
be supposed you wanted them to treat yo'
no friends with. thought there must
no some mistake abont it
Richland beacon., 1881-08-27
a CITY VEGETABLE GARDEN.

Your back yard may be small but ii
the sun has access to it you can raise
YOUR own summer vegetables there.
If YOU doubt it, try the following plan
Take barrels and bore holes around tho
middle, and one hole large enough to
admit the nose OF your watering-pot.
Fill the barrels with stones as high as
the rows of holes, and gil in with good,
rich. fine earth to the tor, in which
plant cucumbers, melons, squashes, to-
matoes. etc. One barrel will be enough
for each kind. Be sure to have one nat
stone lean over the large hole where you
will pour in water until it runs out OF
the holes you have made, and which will
prevent the earth from filling this large
hole mp. Range the barrels around
your yard and plant your seeds. Keep
the barrels filled with water up to the
holes and you have all the requisites foi
rapid, healthy growth-air, heat and
moisture. Your vegetables will last un'
til late in the autumn, as they can easily
be covered on frosty nights. Cucum
hers and tomatoes may hang over thu
barrels. cutting them Of whsn they
roach the bottom. Melons may be tist
70 the wall or fence. The stones hav'
an important service in holding up tn
earth. and in absorbing the heat durin'
the dsy. which they give out at night
keeping the water at An even temper'
ture. You will be astonished at the n
suit, if you have never tried it. Cucun
bers can be very successfully grown
this manner.
II nine tailors make . man, no
Richland beacon., 1881-08-27
THE FLEXIBLE FIEND.

THE FLEXIBLE FIEND.
Last summer my wife received r. tele-
gram from her mother Visiting in Bos-
toni, urging her to meet her in that city |
on an important family matter. Let no
one suspect me of intimating that my
respected mother-in-law is the flexible
fend," from my introducing her name so
soon after tho title of my story; but had
it not been for that telegram my expert
ence with said fiend would have been
nil.
Arabella was to start early in the morn
ing, and gave me many orders. "Be
sure and lock all the doors every night,
Theophilus, and, whatever you do, don't
aggravate Bridget, for you know what
helpless predicameut you would be in if
she should take it into her head to
'leave.'"
gave the required promises, and next
day saw Arabella safely ON her way. For
, few days all went smoothly. Bridget
was, to use her own description, in the
most illigantest" of humors, and 1 en-
joyed unwonted tranquility. Then came
the beginning of the end. OF course
Arabella and I exchanged letters daily.
I'VE had only been married year and a
half.) On the afternoon Of the fourth
day her letter contained the following
thunderbolt-in postscript:
"f forgot to tell you that found
Aunt Carraway here on visit from the
West. She will come homo with me for
a short stay, SO be sure and have Biddy
clean the house from roof to cellar, as
Aunt Carraway has an eye like lynx
but then you know. Philly dear, she has
q great deal of money"
1 understood that, "Philly DEAR" It
once. On ordinary occasions Arabella
calls me "Theophilus." She knew that
would rather face howitzer than con-
yey her commands to Bridget, but, as
the thing had to be done, her mode Of
address was an affectionate hint to ap-
proach the dreaded damsel with the ut
most circumspection.
/ began at once. L went to the kitch'
on. where Biddy vas securing pans.
"Well, Bridget, is there anything
Won need from tho store? / may rur
down there tonight, and can bring any
thing you want-just as well as not, yor
know"
"Sugar's out" said the maiden, Ia
oonically.
Anything else, Biddy'" with Pick
v;ckisn smile and . Chadband inAec
tion.
"sure ye might be after fetchin
sup O. tay, toor
=, al will, Biddy, with great pleasure
By the way, that's fine fellow th'
ZONES to see you sometimes. McCarth
b his name."
cts my cuzzint, shure," said I'll
,ashful Biddy, rubbing away very har
81 It the bottom of pan.
"a very nice cousin, indeed, and
hope you will treat him well, Bidd.
,very time he comes. BY the way,
have Just had another letter from MIR
Blodgett. She will be home ON Thur
: day. and wished me to mention to "
that you might do a little house-clea
ing. as she expects to bring frie'
With her. I'll help you, Biddy, 'p
nv word WILL" I continued hastil
seeing signs Of gathering wrath
Erin's brow.
Next day ~e began operations. wh
. Bridget scrubbed and secured a
=, .rumbled and glowered, 1 devoted
energies to clearing ont the ruo"'S''
our bedroom closet, and progress
,wimmingly until came to a" old h"
sk;rt of Aralellas. had heard IRE
ssy that stove-clinkers and old no
,k;rts we're the hardest things to get
Richland beacon., 1881-08-27
HONORING A MOTHER'S FEELINGH.

HONORING A MOTHER'S FEELINGS.
A burglar entered house in which a
mother was sitting up with sick child.
"Sir," she said in whisper, as soon
as she could compose herself ~ speak,
"there is nothing of value in this house
except that child's life, at least to me,
but you may find otherwise. Here. take
nv keys, search everywhere, take what
YOU want, but speedily and withoutnoise,
I implore you"
She handed him the keys, placed her
| finger to her lip, and pointed to the
door.
The burglar moved quietly away, thei
turned and said in a low voice:
"Is he very sick ?"
"His life hangs on the continuance o
this sleep"
"Thsn he will recover for all th'
noise I'll make" the robber answered
laying down the keys and noselessly TAX
ing his departure, but absolutely noti'
ING Utica Herald.
Richland beacon., 1881-08-27
THE UHIOuITOUS REPORTER.

the reporter is supposed to ENJOY
many privileges; he passes doorkeepers
and ticket-sellers unquestioned he gains
admittancc everywhere, and generally,
being q cheerful. hail-fellow-well-met
sort of man, the enlightened public con-
sider him highly favored i'll all respects.
But, alack his lot is not happy one.
He endures hardship and severe trials.
In order to get the facts with which to
construct his numerous articles, he must
travel Oh an average of five miles day,
or an aggregate of 1,500 miles year.
During these perambulations he asks
several thousand civil questions and gets
several Thousand uncivil answers; gets
ordered out of Offices and houses; has
dozens of doors slammed in his face Is
asked ten thousand questions and re-
turns as mary short but civil answers /;
gets into the circus once on promise 20
give it "a big scnd-oif; is buttonhoicd
thirteen hundred times by parties who
desire to impart II good item about them
selves is welcomed wherever his pencil
will put money into peoples pockets OF
give them little notoriety. However,
he PAYS 5 cents glass for beer, full
rates for board. top prices for clothes,
either walks or pays full fare on the
street-cars. While others are enjoying
the opera, the social party, the circus
prayer-meetings, lectures, " game o
cards, a turn on the roller-skates o
marching with political club, the re
porter is wrestling with Il mass of cha
otic facts and endeavoring to get then
into shape for you 20 read while yo
quietly dispatch your warm breakfast
He gets to bed at 3 o'clock i'll the morn
ing, and, between the annoyances
flies, noisy chambermaids and pencils
sunlight boring into his eyes, he doc
we'll to get seven hours sleep by tt
time he is aroused at neon to get h
breakfast. At o'clock he reports
the Office and begins the same old rour
of duties. Is this your idea OF fire
untroubled life?
Richland beacon., 1881-08-27

TRAIN your son up to the editorial
business, and 10 will never become .
defaulter. With tho exception Of paste
and pencils, there il little for the nat
ural-born defaulter to default-NesS
York Commercial advertiser.
Richland beacon., 1881-08-27

INDIANS pever drink TO drown sorrow.
When they can get anything to drink
they have no sorrow to drovn.-Brook-
I'm Eagle.
Richland beacon., 1881-08-27

AWAuruN editor found some strange
looking looking r. metal in the
street, and took them to d. b. store
to ascertain what they were. The stuff
turned out to be money.-Pecks Sun,
Richland beacon., 1881-08-27

Ip nine tailors make . man, how
manv dressmakers does it take to make
a woman2
Richland beacon., 1881-08-27

There il no occasion for swearing out
side Of . Newspaper omcs, whore it II
vsry useful in proof, reading. and indis-
psnssbly necessary IN getting forms to
presa. Il has bssn known, also, to ma
tari.llv sssist the editor ID looking over
tho Paper after IL il printed. But other
wise il il . vsry ioolish and wicked habit.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1881-07-09

During our recent visit to. the
north there was one idea that
forced itself upon our mind, and
thai is the sectional feeling that
exists between the north and south.
We have been fought 10 believe
chat the people Of the north were
4 cold, unhospitable aad selfish
people. But this thought has
been entirely cradicated from cur
mind. The warm generous hos
pitality with which We were re-
ceiyed by the Pennsylvania Edi-
torial Association at Long Branch
was the cause of this change.
Much the urges. part Of whom
we're republicans, we found them
genial and social gentlemen, and
we are satisfied that if the people Of
the south were associated with and
knew more Of those Of the north.
better feeling would exist between
the two great sections. This can
only be done by being brought in
cuntact with each other in more
intimate social relation. The
persons most eminently proper to
begin this great work Of good feel
ing are the members of the Press.
Let those editors in the north who
have that bitter partisan feeling
towards the south take few tours
through our midst and be cunvinC-
ed that they have been mistaken
in our great old south, and let
those Of the south whose blood has
been boiling with bitterness, es-
peciallv during = great national
campaign toward the north. tray-
81 through the north and
be broagh, together by social IN
tereourse, and we have no fears for
the result; then there will be no
north or south as it has been, but
ne will stand one united people,
the greatest on earth.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1881-07-09
LAND SALE.

BY virtue of an Execution i'll my
hands, l iss2e from the Law Court al
Humboldt, Tenn, in favor of Bishop
Bros. VS.. l.. Baird, / will OH Sat
urday, July 9th, 1881, in front of the
law office of Ware & Martin, Milan,
-Genii, sell 10 the highest bidder for
cash, the following town lot, viz. 4:
bounded South and East by o. H.
Halstrom, North by Bryant, Vest by
Main Street. This sale will be made
subject to levy made by John C.
Yost on said lot. Sale to take place
in lawful hours.
This June LIST, 1881.
". b. WILLIAMS.
I3-4t. Deputy Sheriff.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1881-07-09

The Nashville BInner complains
ofi; baiag tn. 3. Nashville.
The ro- :. op is reported .
aa:ag IN "a fno coati.ion all Over
he ale
Cap. Jams .-1is. has zen ~
rrs-.ag :. good many revenue yio-
lato.s la.ely.
4 lorse fcll dead in NashvilI.
last THURSDAY night f,o:n the in
tense haat.
DIR. d. p. Dickson was found
dead in his room at Dickson, las,
Thursday morning.
r. II. Rawles, Il somnambulist
dropped from the third story bal
couv of tie Allen block, at Nash
vile on Thursday night and WAS
instantly killed.
Col. Thos. Il. Baker, formerly Of
the Paris Post, more recently Leg
iglative correspondent Of the Louis
vile Commercial, has been APP
pointed deputy collector Of inter
n-l revenue for the Nashville dis
tric..
\ difficulty occurred on last
Tuesday in the 18Th district, near
Chestnut Bluff, between Messrs.
Goodwin and Hopkins, and Mr..
Wright. Wright was shot through
the thigh, bat not seriously l+irt.
Alamo Sentinel.
The trial Of Baby, Cushman and
Williams, the safe burglars, which
had been in progress at Browns
vile for over week, terminated
yesterday evening in a conviction
Of the prisoners and q sentence o.
five years imprisonment for each.
There is an old blacksmith shon
in east Alamo that was formerly
run by Mr. Albert White. We
understand that Mr.White recent
~ discovered, in this shop, evil
dences Of its having been used as
u countcrfeiting establishment.
lie found moulds for moulding
nickles, and about sixty nickles
in a sack, some Of them trimmed
and finished up, and some just as
they were taken out Of the mould,
with a small neck not trimmed off.
Alamo Seminal.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1881-07-09
THE ASSASSINATION.

In SO than half an hfHr after
the attempt TO assinate President
fairfield, the tel eeraph had maze
it kLoEn in every city and town
Of the United States. The news
,urcad With lightning rapiG3,v
from home TO home aGd from
tongue to tongue. until the citi-
zens Of every quarter were horri-
fed with the sad news. Tho foul
deed wa 50 entirely unlocked for,
and so unnatural that it was DIFF
licult to realize the ti'dth. The
striking down Of the Prc4iden. Of
ihe United States in time Of peace,
when there was no sectional issue
10 influence the pc ions and to
breed fanaticism, Was altogether
unreasonable and shocking. IL
came toall com nunities with like
fleet, aad no American citizen
heard it without pain Or indigna-
!ion.
Some persons have been wild
enough to conceive that Guitteau,
vas only the tool Of conspiracy, Of
-'.1-s Tr. Conkling was The head,
but this is too prebosterJus to en-
terrain. But fit should be the
conspiracy Of Conkling, or the Re
publican party, it woaid be the
death Of Republlcanism, and we
call upon all good men 10 abandon
thc party thai inculcates such
principles. Democracy, pure and
undeflcd' is the only safe guard
and protection Of the Union, and
il viii stand 70 the President in
his heroic fight in favor Of the
people.
Whatever faults Conkling may
have, he is certainly not such a
lnadman as!that would imply, be
sides no man, to whatever party
he may belong, who occupies a pc
sition as high as that occupied by
Conkling, could contemplate such
crime as a means Of rising high
cr.
In accordance with his views Of
duty, Mr.Garfcld has labored hard
since his accession 81 Office, and
under his administration some no
Die things have been accomplish
ed. We have seen much to adj
mire and much to praise in his
short career, and from his up
rightneSs and patriotism we eX-
pact much in the future. For his
affectionate wife, just recovered
from q sickness during which his
loving attention to her did so
much TO show a right disposition
and an amiable heart, our warm
est sympathies 60 forth to him.
The Presidents wounds though
dangerous are not necessarily fatal
His physicians are quite hopeful
and the present indications are
that he will recover. A nations
prayers go up in behalf Of his re-
covcry.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1881-07-09
INDIeElTIoN s.gnTTKe.
An EzeEsss,cu From tie C;;-sas Of ki-
H.! aid Vicinity CT tls ksaen.yted
Assassination CT l's9zi-c-.
Carried.

The naws Of The s..cnu . mur-
des Press den. Garfield caused IN
tense excitement here last Ss.gr-
day. aad our citizens called a
mect:ng inJo,dan's HAIL 10 express
their Indignation and regrets.
The meeting was cal!-d to order
by !. ". Thomas. Upon nation
Capt. S. II. Hale was called to The
chair, and J. Il. Hol, and all news
paper men prtsen. were chosen
secretaries.
Capt.. Hale stated the business
Of the meeting, and appointed the
following gentlemen as Z commit
Tee on Preamble and resolutions /;
J. ". Thomas, J P. Rhodes, Y. l..
Ware, G. y Martin and 4. f.
Ham.
The following gentlemen were
called upon while the committee
was ont and made a few remark;
in regard to the shooting Of the
President. Messrs Walker, ef
Trenton, "Uncle Billy" Moore, Of
Carroll county, Thos, Pearce, !. II.
Holt 2nd J. P Rhodes.
COMMITTEES returned and Of
fered The following resolutions
which were unanimously adopted:
Whereas, We have received the
painful intelligence Of the attemp-
led assassination Of the President
Of the United States,
Therefore Be il resolved, BY the
citizens Of Milan and vicinity in
mass meeting assembled, irrespec
tive Of party afiiliation, that we
condemn the act as the most vii
famous and cowsrdly, and unwor-
thy Of Il citizen of 4 civilized ma
ton much less of this land OF free
dom and liberty.
Resolved further, That with all
good and loyal citizens Of these
United States, we do most deeply
deplorc the sad occurance of this
most despicable act Of SO cowardly
villain and his accomplices, and
regard the act as 4 calamity and
misfortune to this country Of civil
liberty and freedom.
Resolved further, that We ten
der our sincere sympathies to the
President and his family and rel
atiyee, and trust that he may
speedily recover, and that the
performer Of the decd may speedi-
~ suffer the seyerest punishment.
j. w. Thomas,
G. W. Martin,
Y. l.. Ware,
J.P. Rhodes,
4. T. Haun, Com.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1881-07-09
Shiloh's Catalf'h Remedy.

A marvellous cure for Catarrh'
Diphtheria, Canker mouth, and
Headache. With each bottle there
is an ingenius nasal injector for
the more ruccessful treatment OF
hese complaints without extra
charge. Price 90 ce nts.
Sold by NJ. D. L. JORDAN.
Keep in your mind and go to
Chambers Cheap Dry Goods Store
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1881-07-09
Tennessee Editors Abroad.
Memphis Ledger.l

memphis Ledger.l
After the meeting Of the Ten
nessec Press Association at Chat
tanooea a considerable number Of
the members accepted an invita-
ton to visit New York and other
large cities in the East. During
the trip they went to Long Branch
where they met the Editorial As
ISOLATION Of Pennsylvania, 400
strong, and were introduced 10
President Garfield and other dis
tinguished persons. A number of
the Tennessee editors were pres
ent at a banquet given by their
Pennsylvania brethren. Speaking
Of the event, the Pittsburg Post
SAYS A delegation of Tennessee
editors was present, and one Of
their number scared a great deal
higher and came down much more
gracefully than any Of our Pennsy,-
vania stock. lie is a Republican
cditor-have lost his name-and
the illusions he made on behalf
Of his own political associates and
the Democratic editors with them
that the old was giving away to
the new in his State, and they
were going to make Tennessee the
Pennsylvania of the South, drew
out great applause. The young
man put it well and is welcome
to make Tennessee 4 Pennsylvania
and we'll throw Harrisburg and
the Pardon Board in" This is
not at all surprising. The South
is full Of good speakers, and many
of them are connected with the
press. But we started out to say
that such trips and cominglings
are highly beneficial. 1t is not
every editor who can take the
time to travel much, but those
who can get out occasionally into
the great highways and channels
Of thought and action can always
learn something and come back
with broader ideas ana more pro-
gressive tendencies. To mingle
freely wish the world and come in
contact with the active thinkers
andWorkers of the ase should be
a part Of every newspaper mans
Il fits him to estimate quickly
and properly the men and CUES
tions OF the day, and is calculated
also to eliminate that hasshncss
and dognatic style which often
ciIaraeterizcs Young and conceited
Of the profession. It
wears OF The rough edges, promotes
tolerant feeling and tones down
those who have imagined ;hey
were n+aing the top round of the
editorial ladder Til, profession
is Al arluoas and.responsible one,
and those who take a respite occa-
sionally, and get entirely away
from home and local associations
viii nearly always return refresh
ed IN body and mind, and better
iitted TO do their work systema.i-
rally and efficiently,
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1881-07-09
Sllai,l.l yGa need

Watches, diamonds, jcwclry, sol ID
s:i,tr wae, silver plated waie
c.,4: ca.lsls. ss4d to Mermed,
.;a,,-tG ( -. csaer 4 FpGl1lh
aQd locust strcess. s.. Louis, foE
t,.eir illustrated !9ice LII. This
ieael V isu-e, the ia.g2st N the
s,,Gili .nd ac>t, has IN. land the
finest stock, and sell tlicie goods
lover chan ANY house in tic s'n th
G. gcst. Tiey make specially 81
gold. solid silver watches foz $40,
which they warrant. When IN
st. Lcuis b. certain 10 sec the EN-
lacnse iewelry house Of MG7m,d,
.Jaccard & Co., corner Of Fourth
and Locust.