Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1881-04-27
lFrom the Argonaut.
A PIAN0-PARR0T WAR.
THE FRENCH OF HENRI MURGER.

Alexander Schaunard, the celebrated
pianist was one day musing upon the in
stability of human affairs. The particu-
lar thing which caused this line of
thought was the fact that he had not eat
en- any breakfast, aud was in much doubt
about his dinner. Thus musing, he
dropped into the store of a music pub
Usher which he was wont at time to fire.
quent.
Hello, Schaunard y said the indi-
vidual, "You come IN the nick of time.
A gentleman has just left word here to
send him pianist"
"Whois he ?" replied Schaunard, non
chalantly. The true Bohemian never
jumps at anything.
g He is an English Milford, and he will
pay you handsomely, have no doubt.
Of course you play well?"
Schaunard gazed at him. There may
have existed in this world modest
musician; there may have even been
modest pianists; but history speaks not
of them. Schaunard replied:
"Play we'll Why, l should smile.
If only had one lung gone, long hair
and steel-pen coat, [ would be fixed.
Why, instead of demanding eight hun
dred frances to publish my famous SYM
phony, you would, on Bonded knees,
offer me three thousand on silver
plate
The publisher smiled cynically and
directed him to the Englishman's house.
This gentleman was named Birnan.
He lived upon the third floor, where
Schaunard was received bya blue foot
man, who turned him over to a green
footman, who passed him to a black
footman, who presented him to his
master. Mr.. Birnan simply glared at
him in silence. This silence becom-
ing embarrassing, Schaunard was about
to speak, when it was suddenly broken
by a series of ear-piercing screeches.
The pianist paused. The Englishman
bounded from his chair.
"Oh, that vile parrot p It'll be the
death of me yet.
Again the pleasing fowl began its mu-
sic, and its repertoire was a most extern
sive one. In addition to the vocabulary
of the ordinary parrot of commerce, it
knew by heart interminable passages
from long winded tragedies, to which, en-
couraged by female voice, it presently
devoted its attention.
While the unhappy Englishman is
grooming in despair, let us take up the
history or this evil bird.
On the floor, Immediately below Mr..
Birnan, there lived an actress who called
herself dolores. She was of Spanish
birth, having first seen the light in that
Partisan Andalusia which is called the
Roquenard.
The parrot was celebrated throughout
the neighborhood for it's oratorical DOW
ers, and had gradually become the ter
Tor OF the tenants. It's perch upon the
balcony, where, from morning until
night it held sweet converse with itself
and the passers-by. Some journalists
had taught it the slang of the day, and it
had thoroughly learned its mistress re-
pertory. lnasmuch as the visitors of
Mademoiselle Dolores was somewhat cos
mopolitan, the parrot had become poly
glot and bird Of blasphemy. Its pro-
fame sufficiency would make hacknan
blush.
The society of this bird, which might
be instructive and agreeable for about
seven minutes, became q veritable tor
ture if prolonged. The other dodgers
had frequently complained of it, but, as
the actress paid handsomely for her
rooms, the landlord was deaf to their an
peals.
Mr.. Birnan had possessed his soul in
patience for some time. Finally, how
ever, life became burden to him, and
he determined to see Dolores himself.
Arraying himself, therefore, with much
elegance, he repaired to the actress ap-
partments.
Dolores received him Hospitality, and
as she was breakfasting at the time.
asked him to share that meal with her.
Mr.. Birnan replied in peculiar French
1n-twenty-fve lessons, which dialect he
had learned from Spanish refugee.
g [ accept, mumzelle, D said he, "but
only on condition that we eat that dis
agreeable Bird" and he pointed to the
parrot, which, detecting his nationality
by his accent, had begun to whistle
"God save the Queen"
Dolores fancied for the moment that
her neighbor had come only to annoy
her, and was about to become angry,
when he continued:
AS L am very wealthy, you can put
what price you like upon the creature"
ooh, monsieur replied Dolores, 81
love Coco too much to let him pass into
your possession.
6 Into my possession!" replied the
Enghshman with shudder. 81 don't
want to keep him-I want to kill him. .
Dolores trembled with. indignation,
and was about to have scene imme-
diately, when she saw upon the English
mans finger diamond ring which might
be worth fifty thousand francs. She
paused. She cooled. She reflected. IT !