St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1881-05-06
SQUibS.

The neatest thing in Easter bonnets
is a pretty face Boston Herald.
The fellow who accompanied the
sheriff said he followed the seize for
living Boston Transcript.
Donald: whats this ~ Waiter:
"Broth, sir" Donald: "lIOo ay ! Yis
A peas here and barley's there, and
the wan whustling to the ither, Where
are yOO-O-O Pn
An clipping couple at What Cheer,
Wisconsin, being caught in severe
storm, broke into Il church for lodging,
and were fined $50. '.Thc way of the
tranSgrcssor," etc.
We know man so cross-cyed that
he put his hand into another mans
pocket and abstractcd thcrcfrom IL
watch. He wanted to learn the time.
The Judge told him it would bc three
years.
Little Artie came running in from
the field one day cXclaiming, "Ma ma
| seed sufiin' down here that stickcd
his head right down in his mouf." In
vcstigation proved that he had found Il
mud-turtle.
Little Johnny was visiting ut IA
ncighbOr's house. He was offered II
piece of bread and butter, which he
accepted, but not with any degree of
enthusiasm. ''What do you say, John
ny p said the lady expecting him to
say, "Thank you" II say it amt
cake" was the impolite RESPONSE
| TGalvcston News.
Teacher, to small boy in the nat
/ ItVaI bistnV,- class InInni. van YnuN
give description of the bat" John
ME instantly responded in brcathlcss
| haste "A bat il bait it's Il little thing
about as big as Il stopple, with India
rubber wings and kind of shoe
string tail. sees the best with its eyes
shut up and bites like thunder"
~ fear" said country curatc to
his flock, "when | explained tO you in
my last charity sermon that philan-
| thropy was the love of our species, you
must have understood me to say 'spc-
Gle which may account for the small
ness of the collection. You will prove,
| | hope, by your present contribution
that you are no longer laboring under
| the same mistake"
Little Willie having hunted in all
the corners for his shoes, at last ap-
pears to give to give them up, and
climbing on chair, bctakes himself to
IL big book lying on the sidc-table.
| Mother says to him, ''What is darling
doing with the book ?" "It'th the die
| thionary; ; papa lOokth in the dicthion-
AIRY for thingh and I'm looking to thee
| if can find my thOes."
The duke of Ncmours once sent his
steward to call upon an artist, on
whom he wished to confer a snuff box
as a mark of his appreciation to ascer-
| tain if such a present would he acccp-
table. The offer was accepted with
enthusiasm. ''Where shall send it r.
inquired the envoy. "Oh, if you would
he kind enough" replied the grateful
artist, ''to pawn it on the way, you
can let me have the money"
The Ohio boy is full of genius. He
had been reading that Nero fiddled
while Rome burned, and his fancy was
kindled by the mere thought of the
| sublime spectacle. How hard it is to
repress the precocity that bcspcaks the
possession of heaven born endowments.
One afternoon this boy set fire to the
woOdshed, and crawling up on an ad-
Joining fence, covered his mothers
hair comb with bit of paper, and
played "Way Down upon the Swanee
River" while the coniiagration pro-
ceeded. He took his meals standing for
several days afterward.-[ Brooklyn
Eagle.