Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1881-11-18
How he Caught Ii.

came to our snnctum early Monday :
to enter solemn protest .
against the treatment lie had It ,
ceived at one OF our fashionable
churches on the previous evening.
1t appears that, with that innate
which flows from truo dcyo-
ton, lie had sought = pew i'll the
rear Of the church, but The last ;, at,
being occupied by two ladies WAS of
course unavailable. Our friend is
of nervous disposition, is never
perfectly at ease with anybody be
hind him, and i'll this instance his
discomfort was largely increa >ea by
one of the ladies', who, during the
whole service, with the thermometer /
ranging near the freezing point. per
sisted in tanning herself with auto
matte precision and at the same time
sending hyperborean blasts down
the back of our Sympathetic victim.
He affirms that he stood the intlic
ton with the fortitude of John
Rogers in the fiery blast. till the
preacher had reached the middle of
his discourse, hoping that some of
the warmth of the fervid creed en-
anatins from the pulpit might i'm
pinge on the smooth, plastered wall
and change the chilly blasts to Il
more agreeable temperature. But
he was disappointed. The line of
reflection was out of joint, or the
ordinary laws controlling the vihra-
ton of sound were under " suspen-
sion," the cold current still con-
tinued to freeze the very marrow of
his spinal column. He then raised
his coat collar, just as premonitory
sneeze indicated that he was "catch
ing cold," but it acted as a funnel
and increased, if possible, the volume
of the icy breeze.
The usual effect OF an excessively
cold temperature then began to con-
troll his sensibilities. A numbness
overspread his frame. a sense of de-
licious languor crept over his whole
being, q feeling Of exquisite repose
lulled the weary brain to rest, while
tue abnormal faculties were awakened
to unusual activity. He was carried
rapidly through space, until he had
reached the land OF eternal snow,
while q glow of genial warmth
seemed to pervade his whole system.
He Travelled through space at will;
he saw the wonders of the aurora
borea;is in oil its majestic splendor
he saw and conversed with Franklin,
Kane and Schwaika, and other men
who had likewise penetrated the
veil of Mystery. The scene changed
He was seated in o sledge drawn by
dogs at lightning speed over the
fsecy snow; the sweetest melody
filed his ears. TO the regular and ryth'
motto whisp-whisp-whisp of the
never.ceasing fan. He rode on, and
on, the words OF the preacher oc.
casionally reaching his ears only to
jar upon his now fnely-wroushI
, seusibilities, appearing as the inco
herent mutterings from n lower
sphere. Onward he sped, with ever
increasing velocity, it seemed fol
days and weeks. He needed NJ
food nor rest, for behold the grea
mystery of untold ages was about tt
, be unfolded to him. Language can
not express his Joy Us the grea
, North Pole finally appeared in view
, close cut on the horizon, looming
up like the Egyptian obelisk in ma
} jestic grandeur. But his course Wa
, still on; the sledge flew as if drawn
by some great irresistible, "undis
r turbed" law of nature, straight TO
r the gigantic axis upon which res
all sublunary affairs. + + =
A climax is reached; revulsiol
D Of feeling takes place, ind. now ella
ton gives place to horror at tho inevi
table consequences of q collision; hi
hair stands on end; the cold chill
again freeze his very marrow, whel
) behold! the dogs take wings ant
scared to the apex of the earth
great axis. just as the words LIE
US pray" bring the audience t.
their feet, and our friend, by ,
somewhat spasmodic action of thu
highly. wrought muscles, into NJ
erect position.
The dream was past, and in it.
. stead there fingers hoarseness o
voice, a redness of eyes, n moisture
of the nasal organ and consumptiv.
cough, which appeal SO irresistibl,
to our sympathies that we make Thu
solemn protest against custom
which should be ut once abolished
by the cold relentless hand Of mod
ern Charity.
The new law provides that Courts
shall be held in the Second Judicia
District as follows: At ChehaIis
I'd Monday of January. At Vancou