Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1881-12-20
HUMOR OF THE SNEEZE.
How ID Shakes the Fat Man and Causes
the Pretty Girl DO Shed Tears.

How ID Shakes the Fat Wan and Causes
the Pretty Girl 10 Shed Tears.
From the Detroit Free Press
SneeZing, and the manner in which the sneeZe
is sneezed is an interesting study in itself. Two
neat little daughters of fashion trip acng the
avenue cOnfding to each other their bits Of
choice scandal, when one of them says:
"Oh, dear! Jennie, l believe l am going to
sneeze!"
20, please DON'T" cried the other, in horror.
ut will be awful to sneeze right here on the
street. Can't you hold it %
20. LI-must. Indeed I-sck-indeed l
Cent hel-schick-help it. Imu-mu--sek--
must-ah-scheet. ah--ah-oh. dear ah--oil-
-h-ah-scheet-ch -ah-oh Jennie! all
-schloo-oO-oOt - ah - schioot" And
then she wipes her peariy nose. and trips along
with tears in her eyes, aud tells Jennie It Just
TOO aWfuily awful for any use and she does
hope nobody saw her.
The sedate matr0n goes about her sneeZing
In matter OF fact way. She simply stops bows
her head. and gives utterance TO few well de-
Veloped 'acnoos. aud moves along, not caring
Il continental who was observing her.
The nervous man stops. while q look of pain
crosses his face. snorts out his ''lrOo-whah
krOo-whah- boosh- kTOOk-wlat-oh Lord" and
leaves the spot wearing look OF the most dis
consulate pain.
INC tdIf. CttiHNttOuS UHH StpiS Hllpib oH titH
sidewalk. nprvouSiy runs his HANDS into half
dozen pockets before he can find his landler-
chief. throws his head backward until his nose
points mt the City Hail clock. and eectfi!ics all
within hearing with spasmodic ''witchco-
WitchoO-witcloo-o -0-o-owi-w -Witcho-o-o-o-o-o-
darn the luck'
1t does one good to see the Jolly fat man
sneeze. He throws back his massive shoulders.
opens his Cavernous mouth to lis fullest capacity:
shuts both eyes, and fairly raises The dead with
his oh nh .-Si
90. Whoope WoUSh-all-sclt OO-Wa ril-ho0-pIiY-
scito0oo! Lordy, but That was good 'un
The wonderful Growth Ga london.
From the London News.
The great and rapid extension or modern
London can hardly fail to strikcthe most super
fetal observer. Only few years ago it was
common to speak of the belt OF suburbs round
the great city itself as if it were distant from
the main body. like one of the rings of Saturn:
but OF late the belt has become absorbed into
the main body. or rather the body has expanded
to the dimensions OF its former ring. The pro-
cess begun ages AGO continues. hut with greater
celebrity than of old, 1t required centuries 10
knit the cities of London and Westminster firmly
together. It has required only one 10 bring the
outlying villages of I>ngton a1l Hoxton
within tie SCOPE of London proper it has taken
but half Il century to link Chelsea. Hammer
smith, and Fulnam with PiccaAiiiy: and no more
iuth tNcHl years nave maze Ia .l!ir ana IcTOn
part of the vast province of iick ana mortar
known as London Town ard t0wuet ex-
pandtd to meet each other. aud it is now
possible to drive from Turlham-green
on one road or Ealing On the other II Blackwell
or Mile-end-eate. without encountofing any sub
stantial break Ill the succession Of streets In
the process of agglomeratiOn the first step is
generally to build up the two SIDES Of the main
thor0ughiare. A sort of backbone being thus
established ribs spring out in the form of lateral
roads, leading nowhere BY DEGREES they meet
other roads of equally undecided purpose and
frequent connection is established between the
main highways. West of Hyde j ark this pTO-
cess has been going on for some considerable
time One extensive set of grounds after
another has been absorbed. until the park OF
Holland House itself is impuged upon. and the
sec!usiOn of Campden hill and Addison road
"opened up" by many fashionable thorough
fares. Farther down the road III the same drec-
ton large spaces of ground remained till lately
either as ornamental or market gardens
orchards or pasture. Brock Green immortal
lied as the abode of Pu,achs one militiaman
long preserved its rural aspect though it was
Onlya bOwshOt from bursting Hammersmith
Broadway: and Starch Green and ShepaIds
Bush maintained at least their rinal dlucn-
siOns. By degrees building has crept either
over such spaces or round them in sueii wise as
10 make them less cOuntriied than Hyde Park
On the site of Bedford Park. as it was once
called, stands the middle class villa e DESIGNED
ia IuC guttL ltiliit 1T IL ny MI NDiuidH OtiiN-
Between kensngtOu and Chelsea the fields over
which Addison walked are now as much built
up us Belgravia. and Nalnut-tIee walks and or
chards of muhelrieS have made way for roads
for so-called gardens and for spacious
squares. Elm Park. the last un-
occupied spot between London and the
old gardens Of Cremorne is now sp,0uting VITA
streets and terraces. and Cremorne Itself is beng
rapidly covered with houses. On the riverside
between CheyneWak and Chelsea COilepe a
nj rnn rod tIT.t
the picturesque scene by the Old swan only
Just lasted long enough for Mr.. VIII sier to etch
IT. Princes famous grounds are in tie Jaws OF
the devouter. which threaten 10 LEAVE no green
thing behind him. In the northwest. similar
work. III progress, as the mansions on FtZ-
JOhn avenue testify; in the far east regiments
OF neat little houses appear all the way down
the road to flford. On the Surrey and kentisll
SIDE, even TO Sydenham and Chise.nurst, VIM
bledon and Peckham. the work OF ayglulnation
to the great wen," as Cobbett called it, is
going briskly on.