Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1881-09-03

We can never have very much conn
dence in the uprightness OF others unit
we have discovered some degree OF up
rishtness in ourselves. We are apt tc
suspect everybody il we ourselves ought
to be suspected, and just as apt TO trus,
others only when we ourselves can o.
trusted.
Our idea Of the gravity Of an offence
depends largely on our bringing up
The Berliners are laughing at a with
cism at the expense of the Hebrew
money changers. Said an aged usurel
of this peculiar nationality to his hope
full son, "My son, what do you regard as
a capital ~offence?" The youth thought
for a moment and then replied, 81 think
It is in failing to get twelve per cent. Tor
your money"
Mr.. Yates declares that green eyed
jealousy is simply a mental disease and
can be successfully resisted. Poor man,
he never drove a horse and sleigh to the
house of his adored just in time to see
her in another sleigh which was too
wide for one and not wide enough for
two. A man may ward of the typhus
fever and escape from theAslatic plague,
but there is no ~medicament which will
enable him to resist an unpleasant pang
a. he goes home alone with the con
seriousness that there are two people In
the world who are having a good time
at his expense.
Biblical scholars are sometimes sadly
~entrapped. In a little town OF Bavaria,
the other day, sat an aged fraulein and
her father confessor, who was, at least,
supposed to know the Bible by heart.
The fraulein enjoyed a practical joke
in spite OF her age, and the reverend
father, although a thoroughly pious
man, was not a whit behind her. In
deed, it may be said both Of the Cath
olic and Protestant clergy that they are
a thoroughly genial class OF men. There
is nothing in the sacred profession
which interdicts a good wholesome
laugh, and nothing which ought to
make a man so sad that he can see only
the gloomy and cloudy side Of life. Our
iraulein said: Father, you may have
heard that some Of the persistent ex-
p~lorers in the Holy Land have just dis.
covered a huge heap Of bones which
are supposed, on pretty good authority,
to be those of the children which Herod
killed" "Ah, indeed" replied the
pater, thoroughly interested, 81 had not
heard OF it." "Yes," continued the
fraulein, "and, strange to say, nearly
half the bones were white as the snow
OF the Alps, while the rest were almost
as black as ebony" "Well, WE'LL" ex-
claimed the good priest, "that is certain
ly very remarkable" "And the prob
lem to be solved is" continued the frau
lein, "whether the white bones belong
ed to the girls and the black e to the
bows, or rice rersd. The explorers were
greatly yexed by the matter, and could
arrive at no satisfactory conclusion.
Now, what do you think, father
"HOhl'' wittily rejoined the priest, "oi
course the black bones belonged to the
girl babies and the white ones TO the
bow babies" We ask the same ques-
ton of our readers, and they had better
guess several times before they read the
rest of this paragraph. When they
have settled the matter they can refer to
the answer OF the fraulein, who, with
merry twinkle in her eye, said, Father,
Won must have read your Bible to very
little purpose, for the account tells US
that only the boy babies were killed by
Herod."
There is an aged actor in Munich
Lang by name, Of whom a very funny
story is told, King Ludwig the First
father of the present King, was a grea.
patron OF art, and was on very familiar
terms with most Of the worthy and
notable artists and actors. Amope
other places which he was accustomed
to frequently was a beer saloon where
many OF the notabilities OF the day con
gregsted TO drink beer and smoke the
friendly cigar. On one occasion he sud
| denly made his appearance in the midst
OF a group OF actors and actresses, and
stealing quietly up behind Frau Siegel
put his hands oyer her eyes and held
them tightly there. Frau siegel guess
ed once that it must be Lang, who was
fond of practical jokes, and exclaimed.
'Oh, | know you, Herr Lang; you are
always either teasing me Or mimickine
the King" ooh, no." exclaimed Lud'
wig discovering himself, to the extreme
dismay of the actress; $50 Herr Lang
mimics the King, does he?" We will
see how well he can DO it. Come, Herr
Lang,giv ME an exhibition OF your pow
ers in that direction" The poor actor,
half frightened out Of his wits, declared
that there must be some mistake, that
he never, under any possible eircum'
stances, could do 81 unwarrantaole a
thing as to mimic His Majesty, and,
pale with fright, begged 10 be excused.
The King was memorable, however, and
said, "Let there be no more delay. sir
l command you to begin" Herr Lang,