Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1881-09-16
Hawk -E,yetemS.

Il is eood thing no donbt TO h. tie
nail on !ne heat That's the way j..' i
the kente made her ten strike.
General DutIers income is said t. h.'
5000 day, sni be can very well rilJT"
to sail about il lis own yatchet.
Mr.. Mackey. Of Paris, is goilg 20
run for Governor Of Nevada. H. ISN'T
content 10 DE merely king OF bonn.Il
Never despise the lowly. 1t requires
Il man with considerable push t. pro-
pei wheciLarrow. - Boston Iraus-
cript.
Tie school fund of Georgia rro,ide-
instruction about three months III 'l~
gear. Come, now. that : pretty s;oo'I. / /
Gecr, Ia.
The ;nan who expressed an opinion
hal TO pay charges clear through hc
fore It's comp ny would take it Low
ell CIt'z Al.
Jay Gould ana Mr.. Vanderbilt i.aye
not subscribed anything to the Mrs.
Galficlu fund. For this Mrs. Garfield
should be very thankful.
DIR. Patterson, of Scotland, has dis
covered ihnt frogs and toads will fight.
W,ii, let en- tight. We'd rather ste
them fight than hear them sing.
An eminent' French cook pro-
nources American cookery as " murder
in tie iirtt degree" That's what you
might cali " murder rs tine art
The bankers OF America will hold
their convention on the 10th of August,
ut Niagara. That's when the hackmen
will find foemen worthy OF their steal.
There are one hundred and thirty
eight Protestant churches in Italy, mhi
still tho expectation OF hsnd-orRauisis
goes on AS largely as ever. 1t will re-
quire great many years TO thoroughly
Cnristianizs Italy.
George Francis Train has Of ..cG
to defend Guiteuu. 1t wouldn't i.;- II
bad thing to try them and then iuck
them up forever together; Guittau for
his attempt at assassination, and Truii,
just ON general principles.
Secretary kirkwood has appointed
Il thoroughbred Indian clerk in the
Indian office. Don't be startled, breth
rem, but things is workin'" ami the
first thing you know some President
will Yet appoint sailor Secretary oi
the Navy.
Secretary Hunt has issued an order
prohibiting women from living on men
of-war. If the army IL cut down much
more, the men of war will have to i've
on the women, or do their own patch
ing and washing. These are hard
times for warriors.
A late manifestation of Chinese
heathenism is reported from San Fran.
cisco where Wong TIE Fung, Celestial
Mr.. Bergh, paid Slo for "a live turtle
he saw lying on its back en- the side
walk before u restaurant, and had ii
dropped into the sea.
Bicyclers are not allowed to dispuri
their long legs ana big wheels in Fair
mount Park, Philadelphia. And thou
sands Of people are dying from New
York and other cities to rest their weary
eyes In Paramount Park. It's popular
ity was never before so great.
Statistics show there is one lunaiic
for every four hundred people III
France. Well, that's enough. On,
lunatic, ii lac can get off all his clothes
and find knife eleven inches long,
can furnish very active employment for
Just about four hundred people.
The Examiner and Chronicle says IA
cup of water in the oven while baking
Will prevent bread and cakes from
burning. Thanks for the information.
And ten-year-old boy, loose in the
cellar. will prevent apples from spoil
ing. About one boy to four barrels Of
apples, doctor.
at some of tho hotels at Long Branch
they charge you extra if you sit at
your window and listen to the music Of
a band playing at another hotel mile
away. But then at some other hotels
at the same resort they charge extra for
the window, whether there is any band
around it or not.
When Montana gentleman puts on
pair of lODg boots, u SLOUGH hat, a
pint Of whisky and two long, large
sized revolvers and knife that can
reach clear through COW, he is said t
be dressed to kill" And indeed he
is, though you can't always be certain
whether lie or the other man will be
killed.
An inland correspondent writes -" Is
canned lobster better than the fresh
article?" Oh, far better! Far better
You can holler five times us loud in
your sleep and ten times as often, on
canned lobster. And you feel infinite
~ worse the next day. On yes, for car
rying out all the known purposes of
lobster, the canned article takes the
purse and the blue ribbon by whole
neck.
An exchange speaks of woman who
was arrested for wearing male attire,
the charge being that she had stolen
the mans clothing she wore, ait be-
longing to her widowed sisters bus
band" ANY woman who would steal
the trousers from the husband of
widow, is capable of wearing them.
Brethren, this is worse than Clara
Belle Gath's definition of a martin.
gale"
" A first class telegraph clerk in EGG
land, under the present system may,
with good luck and good conduct com
bined, after eighteen years service, raise
himself to pecuniary pinnacle where.
by he would be entitled to salary of
5000 per year" Young man, if you
don't ike this country; If it isn't broad
enough for You; if it is too new and raw
and rude; il it's lack of culture and old
world refinement starves your ln,ei-
lectual being. rs 1t were, emIsrate. Go
to England aud grow up with the .ele-
graph service. There's chauce for
you.
IL now appears from authentic in
cited in the local papers ail over
America, that nine-tenths Of the
soldiers wounded in the late war, were
shot right straight through the liver;
That about thirty PER cent of this were
81 o, right through the liver and back
again; that foi eight per cent Of the
whole number were shot exactly AZ the
President was, only with larger bull
ets; that they ali got we'll and are alive
now. 1t seems that 1t was not considered
-espe table for aDy man in the army IN