davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1881-10-25
Didn't Know Cato.

One day this past summer little
knot Of men, among whom were two
Michiganders, got into dispute in
Deadwood regarding some Of the an
clients. A part Of the crowd held
that Cato was a great poet, while
others asserted that he was an orator,
and it was finally agreed to leave it to
a grocer around the corner who was
supposed to be we'll posted on most
ell matters. The crowd therefore
proceeded to his store in a body. and
the spokesman brusquely queried:
"Say, Jim, can you settle a dis
pute?"
Eyes, sir" was the prompt reply"
"Well, then, what was Ca.o's best
hold?"
| "Cato-Cato-hold on a minute"
replied Jim. as he started for his desk
lie opened his ledger, ran down TIN
index to &C." glanced over the names
and then returned and said:
"Don't find him here on my books
and l reckon he was some scrub VIII,
jumped in here awhile, got down t.
roots and then took the cross-cut 70
Gunnison. Did he go through any o
you?"- Detroit Free Press.
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1881-10-25
ael. Williams and Capt. Richards.

The Sunday Argns thus tells a
story familiar to number OF our
people:
Elsewhere in this column is war
reminisccncc by 'Uncle Dick OH the
subject OF bugles. This recalls
story about Senator Ccrro Gordo
Williams canvass for Governor OF
kentucky lew years since. lie was
ut Stanford, in Lincoln county, and
Capt. Tom Richards, ofihat town,
who had been the bugler OF Williams
regiment in Mexico, and one of his
regiments in the Confederate army,
thought he would pay his old conf
rade the compliment of screnade.
So he got out his instrument and
sounded few notes as only master
Of the bugle, as he is, can do, to call
together the band Of which he was
then the leader. Gen. Williams
heard the sound in his room, and in-
Quired of some of the citizens OF STAN
ford who were present, what stage
line was running at 80 late All hour.
lie was then told that it was Capt.
Tom Richards, who had served with
him in Mexico and in the Confeder-
acy, calling with his war bugle the
boys in order 10 seronade him. The
General was pleased with the COM
pllment, and the band soon after ap-
pearing at his hotel he went onto the
balcony to listen TO the splendid
music that Capt. Richards well
trained boys were making. After a
time the music ceased, and the Gen.
eral Stepped to the front to acknowl-
edge the compliment. lie began by
saying that he had been In his room
when he heard the old familiar bugle-
call Of Tom Richards. Instantly ii
took him back through all the years
to Mexico, and without an inquiry he
knew that it was gallant Tom Rich
ards sounding the rallying notes.
Then his mind swept over all those
years, aud he recalled the same gal
liant fellow on the battle fields oil the
South sounding the alarm. No mat
ter where he might be, he should
always recognize Tom Richards call
10 arms There was good deal
more of the same sort Of very pleas
ant taffy which infinitely amused
lhose who were present when the gall
lant General wanted to know whist
id old stage horn that was bio W.
| inV.
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1881-10-25

A newsboy rushed into retail
shirt store in Chatham street the
other day and thus accosted the pro-
prietor: "Say mister, do you retail
shirts here?"
"Yes, my con; we have them tc
fit you at five shillings apiece--very
nice ones"
"Oh blazes, l don't want a whole
one. But / seed on your sign, shirts
retail and wholesale. and / thought
you might retail mine lor it wants it
bad; a-dog got hold Nv it and wouldn't
let go ifId a killed him."
"Why don't your mother mend
your clothes boy?
"Well, thar! do you think I've ,
mother? amt got a mother, no
ever had tlat--as l know on :"
"You had best 30 to that man owe
the way. We can't retail your OLE
one for you.
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1881-10-25
rus LAR oEsr LAND owner ON THE

The LAR GEsT LAND OWNER ON THE
CoSTIs ExT.-Col. Dan Murphy, OF
Halleck's Station, Elko county, came
to California in 1874, and may bo
said to have made the country pay
him well for his time. He is now
probably the largest private land
owner on this continent. He has
4, 100000 acres Of land in one body
in Mexico, 10000 in Nevada and 23,-
900 in California. HIS Mexican
grant he bought four years ago for
100000. or five cents an acre. 1t is
sixty miles long and covers a beauti-
full country of hill and valley. pine
timber and meadow land. 1t comes
within twelve miles Of the city Of
Durango, which is to be a station on
the Mexican Central. Mr.. Murphy
raises wheat on his California land,
and cattle on that in Nevada. He
got $4,000 sacks last year, aud ships
5000 head Of cattle a year right
along - Reno Gazette.
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1881-10-25
THE SOUTH kENTUCKIAN.
ADVERTISING RATE.
Ancient and Modern Proposals.
NEW STYLE.

Her eyes shonc beautiful, joyous
light when he leaned forward AID
said:
Julia, / have something confideu-
tial to tell You"
What is it, Augustus?" she asked
in low, silvery voice--a kini vi
German silvery voice.
"Well, Julia. to be frank with you.
| think"-and then he seemed to be
thinking. 81 think" he said. "that
under some circumstances l might
love you. Now, do you love me?"
"Yes, Augustus, l do love you
you know do" and she flung her
alabaster arms around his neck.
II am very glad, julia" he said,
for l like to be loved"
"Well, Augustus?"
But Augustus never said another
word. Fashionable fellows never
says more than that nowadays.
They were never married.
OLD STYLE.
May l call you Paula?" he asked
modestly.
"Yes," she said iaintly.
"Dear Paula! may | call you that"
81 suppose So"
''Do you know ! love you?"
"Yes."
Sand shall love you alway5?"
"If you wish to"
"And will you love me?"
Paula did not reply.
"Will you Paula?" he repeated.
"You may love me-" she said again.
But don't you love me in return?"
Il love You to love me-"
"Won't you say anything more
explicit"
II would rather not"
They were married and happy
within three months.
Moral-Girls never tell fellow
that you love HIM till he has asked
you to be his vile.
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1881-10-25
4 Lady Lawyers Rstort,


Judge Tyler, of San Francisco, is
we'll known to the bar OF that CITY as
most formidable opponent, both
forcnsically and physically as many
LEARNED counsel" upon the other
sido has found out too his sorrow.
The Judge, who ia used to domi.
mating over his brethren OF the bar,
recently met his match in the lady
lawyer OF San Francisco, Clar S,
Follz, who clipped his wind In man.
ner that well nigh snfocated him
The story Is to good to be lost.
The case OF Tyler vs. the Hibernia
Saving Bank was pending before one
of the city courts, involving the right
to certain deposit of funds in said
bank. Tyler was his own attorney,
and Mrs, FOltz was attorney for the
bank. II seems that Tyler, by little
bit OF sharp practice, WAS trying to
ring in a "cold deck" in the shape OF
default that had been enormously
dated, the admission of which by the
judge upon the bench would have
sent the defendant out of court. Mrs
Foltz showed up the matter satisfac.
torily 10 the court, and the default
was promptly set aside. This netiled
Judge Tyler considerably, and turn
ing to the lady counsel he said sharp
~, in q manner intended to be in.
tcnsely impressive, that counsel had
better be engaged in other business
that "a w0man's place was at home
raising her children"
The words were scarcely uttered
before Mrs. Foltz rose in her queenly
way,and flashed her blue eyes straight
into the Judges florid face, she quiet
ly remarked : "a woman had better
be engaged in almost any kind OF
business than in raising such men as
you are, sir"
The court commanded order, but
in a tone that seemed to appreciate
the justice of the remark, while a
number OF lawyers In court, some of
whose heads Judge Tyler has held
in "chancery" on former occasions.
came near exploding with suppressed
laughter.
The counsel tnrned white with
anger, and groaned in spirit, but con-
cluded that it was better to crop the
subject then and there.
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1881-10-25
CHURCH DIRECTORY.

BArrisr--South Main Street, Rev
T. q. Keen, pastor. Services every
Sabbath morning and evening. Sun
day school every Sabbath morning
Prayer meeting Wednesday night
Business meeting first Wednesday
night iu each month.
CmRIsrrAs--Nashville Street, Ed
G. X. Marshall, pastor. Services
every Sabbath morning and evening,
Sunday school every Sunday morn
ing Prayer meeting every Wednes
day evening,
M. T.. SouTH-Nashvlllc street
Rev. S. II. Brewer pastor. Services
every Sabbath morning and evening
Sunday school every Sunday morning
Prayer meeting every Wednesday
evening.
FIRsr PRRsBYTEnIAS--R RussellvillC
Street. Rev. Coulter, pastor. Ser
vices every Sabbath morning. Sun
day school evcrv Sunday morning
Prayer meeting every Wednesday
evening.
SOUTHERN PaEsRYTEnIAs--Nash.
vile Street. Rev. J. O. Tate, pastor
Services LIST aud Bird Sabbath morn
ing and evenings. Sunday school
every Sunday morning. Prayer meet
ing every Wednesday evening.
EuscorAl--Virginia Street. Rev
Chas. Morris, Rector Services
every Sabbath at 10Y. 4. NJ. and 81
p. N. Sunday school every Sunday
morning. -
CUMBERLAND PEEsnYrRpIAY--Rus
sellvillc Street. Rev. NJ. 0. Smith
pastor. Services every Sabbath morn
ing and evening. Prayer meeting
every wednesday night.
CATnouc-Nashvillc Street, Rev
Father Hacslcy. Priest. Services
every Sabbath uoraing at 10 O'Clock
POST OFFICE.
Virginia Street, Mrs. S. II. Bur
bridge, p. NJ. Office hours from Z
A. N. to 0 r. NJ, aud the Office is ais
open for a short time after the arriva
Of the evening mails, at 9r.a. Sun
days open from l to er. NJ.
| EXPRESS OFFICE.
l.. e. N. ExrREss CoMraSy-R
| w. Norwood Agent. Office old BAN
building. Main Street.
| MOZART HALL.
Corner Court aud Virginia Streets
up stairs. over Post Office. Alex. i
Rodgers. manager.
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1881-10-25
DIED.

At his home of his parents IN Pee
Dee, Chrietian Co. KY, Ohio, infant
son OF w. T. and Bette Ward.
Ohio WAS born Jan l3, 1880 aud
died October 10th, 1851.
ASLEEP In Jesus, blessed sleep
From which none can wake to weep"
Ohio was bright beautiful boy.
We have hover before seen one so
young. bear So great pain and suffer.
ings with such fortitude. Even 10
the last he seemed to recognize the
faces OF those that we're near and
dear to him. Blu, he is gone TO the
better beyond, he Is far from pain
and suffering on earth, aud asleep in
Jesus.
"God forhids his longer stay,
God recalls the precious loan.
God hath taken him away,
FIVIn my bUsoln tU his avn"
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1881-10-25
Sad, But Economical.

Gen Arthur is reported as having
shown considerable emotion when he
heard ofPresident Gar6eld's death,
We cannot imagine Althur's emo
ton" without thinking of that old
story of the man handing the tele.
graph clerk the following telegram
"ltoscoe-I announce with grief
that our friend is dead. Come quick.
ly TO road will. Ibelieve We are the
heirs"
The clerk read over the Telegram
and said There are two words
moro than you have paid for."
"Well. then, strike out'with grief"
said Arthur Texas Siftipgs.
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1881-10-25
The American Duel. !"

In Ofen, Hungary, young man
commmitted suicide recently, leaving
card ON which he had written the
words American duel" On the
continent of Europe an "Am.ricau
duel" is one in which the duelists
draw lots each having solemnly pledg-
ed himself to commit suicide If the lot
falls upon him. In this way the sur
yivor escapes suspicion, and there is
no necessity Of dragging intimate
friends into danger as seconds. No
such method of dueling is practiced in
this country, but in Europe they i'm
agine that it Is, and apparently find
it very convenient mode Of settling
deadly quarrels.
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1881-10-25
Loves Labor Lost.
Knoxville Chronicle.

Knoxville Chronicle.
Yesterdays train carried a young
man by the name of William L. Mar
tin, heavily ironed--a felon-who, In
the far away Slate of Missouri, had
murdered his uncle, George Miser ln
cold blood had been tried and con-
yicted and sentenced to be hanged,
but had escaped from custody. Be-
hind him sat II. p. Goodall, the sher-
i'll aud his guard, who had re-arrest-
ed him in upper East Tennessee, and
were now conveying him back to
Missouri to suffer the fearful sentence
OF the law to which he had been con.
demned. BY his side sat young
girl, Margaret Wilson, not Ill looking
but wearing face OF the deepest de-
lection. She was the daughter OF the
jailer who had the custody Of the
prisoner in Missouri, and was aged
about seventeen or eighteen years
She had probably carried the prisoner
his meals and no doubt felt u gentle
womanly pity for his confinement
and sad impending fate. We al
know how near akin this feeling Il
TO that stronger passion which ab
serbs all others. What passed be
tween thctwo no one knows. Blu,
she had access to the keys OF tn,
prison, and the two suddenly disap'
peared together and could nowher,
| be found, Two wears passed away
years Of concealment, and, we may
imagine, of a species of happines
unmingled with the disquiet ant
suspense their condition would nee
essarily involve. But the catastro
pbe came at last; they were discov
cred together, recaptured and ar
now rapidly vending their way t
the scene OF the murder-ho to suflc
the felon's doom she also, to answe
TO her State for the crime of adm
and procuring his escape.
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1881-10-25
For the SOUTH KgsTUcEIAsi
AN AUTUMN WAIF.

Throughgreen,lcaves shimmcreth the sunligh
Dry grass and mosscs under my feet,
While, over my head the bird takes its nigh
Round me the quiet ofautumn 50 sweet.
Up In the trcc-top lone pcweo is trilling,
Some little song all its own;
And oh my hearth how happy and willing,
To hear but that music alone.
Tomorrow the drcary rain.may be falling,
And chill and lonely the scene:
So list to the br,l-song while calling,
And the trees have tint OF green.
Keep consolation truly thine;
10 day hath joys OF Its own;
And not moment OF sweetness resign
In dreaming OF pleasures 1own.
MAILLIR V. DUDLEY.
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1881-10-25

1t is impossible for woman alter 8
faithful course Of treatment with
Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Com
pound, to continue to suffer with o
weakness Of the uterus. Enclose q
stamp to Mrs Lydia E. Pipkham,
223 Western Avenue, Lynn, Mass.
ioi her pamphlets
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1881-10-25

Improper medicines only aggravate
human disease. Don't experiment
with your health II you don't just
know what ails You, use Browns
Iron Bittcrs. 1t will strengthen you
apd assist nature in removing every
symptom OF distress.
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1881-10-25
OFFICIAL DIRECTORY.

CIRCUIT COURT.
John Y. Grace Judge, cadIz. hy.,- d. T. I'M
derwood Clerk, licpkinsv lie, Ky. Court
mcsts drst Monday IN February and August.
QUARTERLY coURT.
A. v. Long Judge. Meets a.d Msasay In
March, June, Septenbcr, December
COUNTY COURT.
A.v. long Judge, Joab Brashcr Attorney.
Meets nrst Monday In every month.
CITY COURT.
Joo McCarroii, Judge; J. W. powncr At.
tornoy; Z. N. owen City Marshal.
COUNTY oFFIcRs.
Joins W. Breathitt, Clerk; c. N, Brown,
Sheriff: A. b. Long. Jailer.
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1881-10-25

THAT HACKING COUGH can be 40
quickly cured by Shiloh's Cure. We
guarantee it. Sold by Gish & Garner.
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1881-04-13

We DO not know how we can ever
express our gratitude 90 the Dan
bury NeiCS for furnishing MS with a
panacea for all the coughs and lung
complaints to which we are 80 con
tinually subject. In the language
of the virtuous father of the molo-
drama, we can only say. Heaven
bless you, my che-ildl' Listen 10
his solid chunks Of wisdom: ..
"One of our citizens, who has been
troubled with q severe cold on tho
lungs, effected his recovery In the
following simple manner. He boil
ed a little bOneset and hoarhound
together, and drank freely Of the tea
before going to bed. The next day
he took FIVE pills, put one kind OF
plaster on his breast, another under
his arms, and still another on bis
back. Under advice from an expe-
rienced old lady, he took all these
off with an oyster-knife in the alter
noon, and slapped on q mustard
paste instead His mother put some
onion-drafts on his feet, and gave
him lump of tar TO swallow Then
he put some hot bricks 10 bis feet,
and went to bed. Next morning
another old lady came In with a
bottle Of gooso-oil, and gave him
dose Of il on a quill and an aunt
arrived about the same time from
Bethel, with a bundle Of sweet fern.
which she made into a tea, and gave
him every halfhour until noon,
when he took a big dose Of salts
After dinner his wife, who had seen
fine old Lady Of great experience
in dOctoring, on Franklin street.,
gave him two pills Of her mako,
about the size OF au English walnut,
and Of similar shape, and two table
spOonfuls Of homemade balsam, 10
keep them down, Then be took .
half-pint Of not rum, az the sugges-
ton Of an old sea-captain in the NEXT
house, and steamed bis legs with an
alcohOl-bath. AZ this crisis two ol
the neighb0rs arrived, who saw at
once that his blood was ont Of order,
and gave him o half gallon Of spear
mint tea, and a big dose OF castor
oil. Before going 20 bed, he took
eight ola new kind Of pin, wrapped
about bis neck \ flRDnal soaked in
hot vinegar and salt, and had fcaih-
ers burned on a hot shovel in his
room. II Il expected that Ne win
recover-aftcr the cold has had It,
full 'run'-and will no doubt be full
Of gratitude TO his proscrvers."
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1881-04-13
LATE FOREIGN TELEGRAM8.


An earthquake in the Island of
Chic, Asiatic Turkey, destroyed
many houses in the town of Chic,
killing and wounding 5000 persons.
.....Lord Beaconfeld has sustained a
relapse.....Lord Spencer Churchill is
becoming interested in the circula-
ton Of the N. Y. Irish World in Ire
land. Mr.. Glandstone in his budget
statement estimates the expendi-
lures for the current year at 984,- :
600, 900. 1.-The German Parliament
adopted the motion looking to inter-
national cooperation against nihiI-
ISM. The new regime at ST. Pc
tersburg proves a severe one for the.
public generally .....Preparations
for extensive emigration from Ire
land to the United States are in
progress. s....Mr. Dillon, in his speech
at Clough, Ireland, invoked curses
on Gladstone and Forster for the
killing by the police of four men in
county Mayo, on the 2d.."..The
French government is sending troops
to Algiers to put a stop to savage
raids. -. Turkey is sending fresh
batalions to the Greek frontier In
Athens nobody believes in peace -,
A war of races in Peru between
Cinnamon on one side and negroes
and other laborers on the other has
resulted in the murder of over 1900
Cinnamon so far.
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1881-04-13
A PugiIistie Encounter.

Old Mr.. CollamOre, who goes to
our church, is very deaf. Last Sun
day, in the midst Of the service, Mr..
Hoff, who sits Immediately behind
Mr. Collamore, saw a spider walk
ing up the latter's bald head His
first impulse was to nudge him and
tell him about it, but he remember
ed that Callamore was deaf, so he
lifted up his hand and brushed the
spider off. Hoff didn't aim quite
high enough, and consequently, in
his nervousness, he hit Collamore
quite severe blow. The old man
turned around in a rage, to see who
had dared take such liberty with
him, and Hoff began to explain with
gestures the cause of the occurrence.
But Collamore, in a loud voice, de-
manded what he meant. 1t was
very painful for HofR The eyes of
the whole congregation were upon
him, and he grew red in the face,
and in desperation exclaimed;
"There was spider on your
head"
GA white place on my head, hey +?
S'pose'n there is; what's that TO
your" said Collamore; "youH know
what it is to be bald-headed your
self, some day"
at was a spider" shrieked Hof,
while the congregation smiled, and
the perspiration began to roll off his
face.
"Certainly it's wider" said Cola
more, "and it's got more in it than
yours. But you let it alone-do you
mind? You let my head alone in
church !"
"Mr. Collamore," shrielxed Hoff,
"there was a bug on your head, and
l brushed it off, this way" and Hofi
made another gesture at Collamore's s
head.
The old man thought he was GO
ing to fight him then and there, and
hurling his hymn-book at Hoff, he
seized the kneeling stool on the floor
Of the pew, and was about to bang
Mr.. Hoff, when the sexton inter
fered
An explanation was written on
the fy-leaf of hyInn-book, where
upon Mr.. CollamOre apolOgized in a
boisterous voice, and resumed his
seat. They think Of asking Mr..
Collamore to worship elsewhere in
the future.
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1881-04-13
.e Snch FooIishness. y

1t is pleasant to become a parent;
twice as pleasant, perhaps, to be
blessed with twins; but when it
comes to triplets, we are a little du-
bious. Now, there dwells in Jeffer-
son county, Wisconsin, a worthy
German, who a few years ago was
presented by his wife with a son.
Hans said to her:
"Katrine, dat ish goot."
A couple of years later the good
woman placed before his astonished
gaze a bouncing pair of twins.
"Vell, said Hans, "dat wash pet
ter ash der oder dime; / trinks
more ash ten glass peer on dat"
But the good woman next gave
birth to triplets, and that made him
Fspoke nit his mout shust q little. 7"
1sMein Gott, Katrinel vat ish dc
matter on youl Peter you shtop
dis pizness fore der come more ash
village full. gots nuff nit such
foolishness p
No later returns have been re-
eeived.
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1881-04-13

The Washington correspondent Of
the Richmond Dispatch relates the
following: 'While Senator Johnston
was speaking yesterday Mrs. John
ston occupied a seat in the gallery,
and near her stood two Virginia
Readjusters. When the Senator
bore down heavily on General Ma
hone and Mr.. Riddleberger one of
them said, "Listen to the old liar.
He says he is a Democrat, when he
was an old Wing and Know Moth
ing" Mrs. Johnston at once turned
to him and said, 'EYou are mistaken,
sir he was born a Democrat, reared
a Democrat, and will die a Democrat.
[ ought to know, as I am his wife"
There was a speedy retreat of the
cuple. This reply was worthy Of
the daughter ofthe elder Governor
Floyd, the sister of the younger
Governor Floyd, the kins-woman of
William @. Preston, and the wife of
John w. Johnston"