davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
, 1881-11-03

Judge Tufey viii 10 In nts chnnccry room nll
day teHiay tn hear contested mntions.
'fho Appellate Court ybatcrtfny adjourned To
FrIt1ay. Thoy will henr motions Friday morn.
fnr.
, 1881-11-03
e+arr,, the Alleged Wife.slayer,
and His Change Of
Venue.
ons Dodge Failing, He Resorts to
Another and Faros
Better.
,.... 1au,.,an rtoptrlY charatItri1es tht Shame
' less Mtlhods Used 10 7hwart
Jnsijtt.
Falth1ess Agent In Troublo-A Board
Of Trade 0ase-othcr
Law,

HHx STERN MURDER CASE.
n,no rnso * Arthur Il. Stern. chargcd With tho
.rr,lnr Of his wife. cano NJ agnln ycsteeany
.,ornJne beforr Judge IHmcsoii's nfanc'! o inc
trIrluat Court on tho dcfofltlante npptse"uon
for change Ut ycntlo nndo tne a"Y oc'o1e'
'e e,ntoss. Attorney Mills called tho attention OF
~, court to SCI. Fl, Gimp. 1aU Ut tho hovssetI
rla,,,tos. which provides that no application f"r
",onoe nf yenue n,aslp aftJr tue first term
ssn,,,d bo erautcd, unless tho dofendant had
.ivcn tho stnto's Attorney ton aays' notice Or
H. Intention Of inakg SUCH apnllcnfifn. except
fdEC s1go oa'asis St asui sci' implication. o then stated
tat ihere wis notl'lnY H. 9 n9pn 1roI',iln ~ s5nm
tnaI an cntuo tn 10 scie,nlts knowlc9o wit!l lcss
thau @ len ,ays prrcplE HIS qualification: N9t1et
E sMs TS,1om ,o'tonsr 5 S! M nj hrns hsc
n,.ith;m tf,c p,Y,vlson Of tho elnttle and hccn
hjs application conls not 1p slstnlnetl: nir:
ggenvablo cEizens who asoro tl.at .hoy bag rcntl
t6e Newspaper ncco1lllts Of thu c'iso and were
nj prcIudlcctt aR1!tnst tlIo dcfonaallt. NJ .<x,,
IN no!,,t 10 the tuet. yet It wna ronnrknbto thae
eaeh Vi these perso!ls WHO bud sworn tliat lucy
were prcjudicp.l 1Eniiist ta9 slctentaaa n.y. rGaa
frrert rapcrs, and cncti Ind rcad III al tho pm
scrs uycr;ihiig they contninea n i, relation to
ho aatcr se1 'aa en- .n.es fr nrc v2 u
Wcru being sought after, and Justified t9o orlt[,
c}sm that illo prejudice haa been manufactured
nv Ills criticism to this application, pnt s.napsy
directed attention to tho td!.,s that This c4se was
oner to such crtlcfsn.. Either 1f tho rcaso!ls
.enifictent for denying tho application, mud tho
mutton would, thorutHrc. be orerr.'od.
The detense tne,i TOOK exscptlons r., to oo,n t1o o
ci,aTtcter Of tho a1lslavlts, ami moved cllnt,Ke
Of yonuu from! JntKcs Jameson IND, nnd Itiioy,
, 1881-11-03

to olcct TINT officer tho cl,,l, "bnsted." They
now talk Of FurnI!nR n temperance colony in
MnnituhR. NusinesA ut Toronto IL bnA an tho
whisky tbero gntHl, hut rs extremes don't mcct
they're gd!n1 10 emiRrtte.
, 1881-11-03

sAN FRANCISCO. Nov. a.-Tile yalue OF the
gold brought by the steamer City OF Now
York is 81, ,04a,7 7ao, nil for use !n the United
6tAtea.
, 1881-11-03
Conclusion of the Testimony in the
Case and the Arguments Of
Counsel.
Mr. Trudo Dives tho Plaintiff G
Scoring for tho Course lie
Pursued.
Judge aary's 1nstruotions-Tho Jury Not
Agreed at Late Hour.

a. j. HAII.flff.tF
was called to tho stand to cunttnt,n tho ev|cncn
for tho defense. Witness wns un,pluycd ~
Treasurer IN tho County CIurks lIice nt tho
tttnu of tho suppression Of lilo Harris marriage
license. Upon l1onrinH that plaintiff hal re-
eoivcd nnncy frtin Hurts III consideration :or
kecrlug thu iIccnse from tho reporters, witness
,r,,t T., .,tn,,t,,y ,1 mil ~ rr ~, .~u,,n,in
and th,, la,tor nclsnpylo,v.,t l,ayinr rcroivrI
s1aDfronlinrrls md turnc,, Il oyor toI'rn,,sttnu
SvJtnss .,sa.,a, ,,sa'.,'..,,,.. , w. ~,
ter aat he und roce'sc.ltho money an'l hul /. IN
Ills pocket 1hon. IIuth 1ruvbstinX and lircht
wore discharged lnne'Iutcly attcrwara.
TINT Lawrence Hardy, tho Tn,nvSE rcportrr
rs ~ III" h n9, tn ,uvs e NUS 'n'
.r,,,s ~, !. ,~.r,,,,,
was 1,ut upon tho stand asain BY his cpunsci.
The Inttcr written by tnwrcncu 1lnr,'y, II
TninuxE Fenortsr, to shv County Clerk. stating
that III MS tllhrds 81 op1hlon lfoe''HtlnH was TO
blaine for tho suppression. and that sir. llecht
with Wit,,ess IN snti he h,d msk.d % Mr. T M Mnriy f,r I'm
"luss a'1'' he t"a "sHeu r'i' tt"i", 'of Ino
sa n.y. Gs ea i.san askna for 'n'ee M
friend Of tho witness Ind procured it. Witness
tnox ,c,tcrs n rnu,,tv. rinrL tsi,tto whn i,n,I
askdd that they DO procured. Mr.. K'okko toll
witness TINT If Mr. Harris wonia writn letter
asainst THU rnin''sE article ho tlokke, would
fens'ato "!.noss. ~ iltr's cohsentea 10 a''a
did write II lottcr Without much cstrcntr.
wits md nd Jausntsr had xoue to Ms, iinrr!s:
t,,,,ac r., n.ls Far tho ,c,tcr wttnr.s ,isn won,
TO Dir. linrrlF house oilco to ask for tho letter,
ana WSns e n arTs pSfs qa sess ts
sho "uine' saalo p"rposc. 'D"''' DAN " "'~'
AS ALLEGED nl:rnAcrtos.
III, ,,,afnt,ifs rn,,nsei nf1crc,, ~ avIdcnco
Tiis TMinusE at tio socitatl2,n oi l,iantl!E: :.
shoa!a Se iatrosi!ss. oaiy atter i wes kao@a e
ny - ~, t "aIHt t " III. n ~ ~, pEt @ o ~
en.cnitcd otrnst1tt, WA Wilton ind vibjishnT.
Tho Court oyerraled The objection. for tho rea.
son that retructfon might 10 Inconsistent with
tho plea Of Justification Egt up BY the tlcicnse.,
sats @ II 't sa: ses F st i " ny
hnvn been 81 much to hlRtle rs It first supposed
vWhs w =, ,eAa ~ NC JURY lFon 1hE Tribune VI
Tt,e tlotcnso i:uel Mr. 1lccht to tho staud NH,
JMiuNx ISu W. wien w i" pea,iing 10 M fr rctraco ai
lions Of thp urIesisai nrticlo ai,d exhibited Tho
ictters referred to. >'''
| Thn sitxs rtl1fnr nr 'r,p frufu,,xr ,vas n,,cs.
t.ouctt by Mr. Trt,!e a. to mo wny ia whici. lie
rrtraction was brought nbpat: Witness wss viz H.
tns 1u na ns tnst
iissf %s S;Sssyoras III j. 10 I ,,s'G!s sedt
soIe etters ta hc WIZ sort Hui ue i testans IN
no psrsonal fceisnv IN t The ,ttor 80 30 fas az Is iI
Tn1iluSs was, eoncerned, aud Tint tho paper was
wniS i ~ to iffs fsn9rso sta1Gnet 's which "ou" put
Witness donIcd om ta,s crt,ss. examination TINT
ho wy iniueMae.l T. my apprcsanle extent y
Seeyc thnro wa aytbiux NJ M tit % sho iii j. re-
Sas s ssw nagnfsd y npt.n s s
, 1881-11-03
PROBATE COURT.

In tho estate of William 1atol, deceased, tho
will was proven, and letters tcslntuentnry wcro
issslcd to Euphu lstel. Mntior bond for s.u. .09O
Tho will bcgucaths tho eatHte to tho willow of
tho tlccoltsest.
, 1881-11-03

Browns trnu Rttters enrich the blood and
strspgthen tho muscular systcul.
, 1881-11-03

JUDGMENTS.
ualTEp STATES CtNcUlr Cou1tr-JupaE DI.on-
aErr-J. II. Fairbanks Va. Town Of Ahlugto1,,
$BlTi5.
EUrEHl0H COUNT - CONFESSIONS - Phoenix
htutunt Llfo Insurance Company VS.. Daniel
EEar, x7,0Gl.i6
JuD(1E SAIrn-fIenry Abrnhnms vs.. United
8tates uuld x Silver Mining Company, $4,J7620
JUICE WllI.tAMs0s--Juhn hung ys. ChtcnKO
j Eustortt Illinois 1tatroad Culnpuny; vprtllct,
&..uUt, aud motion fnr npw trinf
CIHCulr C0unr--.lUnaE MUsAS--Tho .junxblut
HehrIrlts s. Co Eectrotypll,g l. SterentyplnK
Company VI. Franz Gimlelc; verdict S1ss, aud
motion for nov trial.
County CnuNT-JUpaE Lo0MIa-CoSrEss1ons
-1s. y. Tuthili ". tho National Hardware Colp-
pAny jltuitotl, 81, 1l..117.
, 1881-11-03

tns aaa hsr tss AetAe aiod bit yesterday charg.
Asaaesa, and Ask!ng for a dtyorce,
, 1881-11-03


1unaE DnuMMOsn-ln chambers.
Jup6E DtDbHEIT-Calt OF tho nilmIralty onl-
cntnr. No. l. stuir vs. Lander, on trial.
APPELLATE Counr-Ad1ournod until Friday.
JULIE OAKY-Assfsta judge Anthony. No
cabo I'll trial.
Jutt1E SMtrH-No first call. Trial call Nos.
4,1BB. A.iu, 4, ,1ng 4,aB, @2ls, ~: =.s
4,.aJ. No. Ills. Hoffman vs. soig,uan. OIL trial.
.]uD0E EWlt.t.EASsoa-.tssats Jlldxu smith, No.
4,tb0, klrch0tT W. M:Quueny. on trtil.
JuniE ANr,!ONy-Nos. *0;. 34., ny, $50. 3si,
49a. isi, All. A16. SO, 4Si 4S All, ts to hao ln
elusive, except 49a. No. 4sl, Ward "a. City, on
trial.
JUICE dAnnxEn-No. 7. No. 81. 1.oman IS.
Qniek, On hpnrinH.
JUilt,E ltDaEisN--No frsl ca!t. Trlal cali Nos.
400, Iii. 47at1. IT, 4Bd, 49, 4S9, 0 itE 50U 501s.
No case on trial. KY
JuDdE .sttitAx-Nos IL, to. I'll, l@3, la5, 1:o,
.suimsr MAwxs-Ntss. in, 1ea. lsa, l73. l7e. No.
lE, A1Mjor Vs. davenport. On trial.
IulHaE HANSuM--Eo cnln No. Wi, F1rmhn va
Flrnlnt1. on hoarlnE.
.lunGE TuI.EY---Contostod motions all duy In
bis chhntpry room.
JU,nsE LooM1s-lnsano casos from Nos. 3 to
j.. md Nos. lIi aIU, 37, ts 100, $40, 3i3 154, 80,
III, 37B, J10, Dso, Q, IL, III. mud u.
, 1881-11-03

COUNTY COVIr.
In tho fnnttcr Of Katherine Cakcs vs.. Potter
Uakcs, divorce, u hnfnult sns entered.
, 1881-11-03

1'y Like Erie ports Is meant any port on Lake
Erie, wast Of and Including Eric. to which ron-
orc is consigned aud from which coal IL shipped.
, 1881-11-03

Litigation EroHvIus. Ont OF Vorsytlac'A
Recent SnIo OF LnEl Ill That EiclA-
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1881-08-04

That kIIiha,' Aarlu'. wedding Ma au -l4l
tuNvI success.
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1881-08-04
10 KEEP U>occrrIlD Room, DRY.

To KEEP UNOCcUPIED Rooms DRY.-
1t occurs with many people that they have
10 leave their houses for time. either in
summer or winter. during which period. es-
pecially IN damp seasons, not only the furni-
ture, but also the walls and the paper on
them are liable TO get damaged by the moist
ure IN the atmosphere. This can be avoided
in simple manner Before leaving the
house the rooms containing furniture ought
to be well fastened up, to exclude as much
Of the outer air as possible a dish with dry
chloride of lime should then be placed IN
the middle Of the apartment, and inside
another larger empty vessel, intended to re-
celVe the water flowing out of the former
The well-dried chloride of lime has such an
affinity for water that it will attract all the
moisture contained in the room and keep
the air perfectly dry, that no harm can
occur to either furniture, books, paper, etc.
Care must only be taken to open doors and
windows when the apartments are TO be
occupied, as this dry air is not good for
breathing
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1881-08-04
Sold by all Medicine Dealers
and Country Stores.
PATEN rs.
r. H.EDDY,
No 10 state st, opposite n iiby. Boston

Secures Patents IN the United States; also in
Great Britain France and other foreign countries.
Copies Of the claims Of any Patent furnished BY
renting one dollar. Assignments recorded at
Wa-hiug tOu. No Agency IN the United States
possesses superior facilities tor obtaining Patents
Or ascertsning the patentlbility OF inventions.
4. II EDDY, solicitor Of Patents.
TESTIMONIALS.
Il regard Mr. Eddy one OF the most capable
and successful practitioners with whom | have
HAI OF rial intercourse.
tHIs. MASON, Commissioner OF Patents.
Inventors cannot employ person more try 81
worthy or more capable Of securing tor them
early and favorable consideration at the Patent
once EDAUND BURkE,
late Commissioner OF Patents
BosrOS, October 10, ls-u.
K. II. EDDY ESQ. dear Sir: YOU procured loi
me IN ls4O my grst patent. Since then you have
acted tor and advised me IN hundreds oI cases
and procured many patents, reissues and enten-
.ioBs. have occasionally employed the best
agencies m New York, PhiiS,IelI hia and washing
ton. hut still give you almost the whole Of my
business. in your line. and advise others 10 EN-
ploy you. Yours truly GEORGE DRAPER
Is. '-tOr jan lssl. IyrI
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1881-08-04
saSm aaS 5ca5s5c!a.
Look After the Sinks.

NJ. u "a p...s..- ...... ,....... ......t...
~ ,A, .,...... ~. ...........
....t........ ....
-
eA'i''''1 10y A2->,A'er'f' }" Inc mania &c
ment Of oac 81 "a, Kitchen appondIge,.
which ma, been in man, instances 3 fr,.,.-
E., ,,,.-...... .s....... and t.. H.
''-- - All i''' ne
ask Io 20" Keep watch Owe. Nour SINKS ?
did you ever notice how the s.r. wa,ae.
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1881-08-04

The CURRANT WoRM-The gooseberry
and currant worms are great pests to Amer
lean fruit growers.
The following recipe for dealing with
these pests is given by a County town sub
scriber to the Garden and which he
states he had used there thirty years, and
never failed with ii until 1879, when the
daily rain washed the salt off the leaves
before it had time to dry or act on the
young worms. Mix one pound common
salt with eight gallons of water, but be care
full not TO exceed that quantity. About the
second week in May, or as soon as perfor-
ated leaves are observed. choose a dry day,
and syringe the bushes with this mixture.
Repeat this Swinging in week or ten DAYS
should more perforated leaves appear
This mixture, though destructive to the
Young worms, will not kill old ones, these
must be -picked.-FdrHler's Adro-
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1881-08-04
"NOther has Recovered"

wrote an Illinois girl to her Eastern rela-
tiyes. "She took bitters for a long time
but without any good. So when she heard
of the virtues of Kidney-Wort she got a
box and it has completely cured her, so that
she can do as much work now as she could
before we moved West. Since she has got
well everyone about here is taking it," See
adv.
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1881-08-04
Rostry.
Eliphalet Chapin's Wedding.

Among The poems in VIII Carleton, nsv h..ok
"tarm Festival" Is this ma, bli 81 humor en-
tai e'i' 'hirhaict Chariu'> Wedding"
Twas when the leaves Of autumn were b,
tempest finger picked.
EHphalei Chaplin started to become = bcne-
Diet
With an snci,nt two-oX wagon To bring back
hi> new found goods
lie hawed and god AM tlounIered through
some twenty mii,'~ % Naod,
with prt-m1trlmnni ardor a. his horned
>ie'd> dbl pres
But EirhaIet' wedding journey didn't bri-tlc
with success,
q. no.
Woc. WOO,
With candor to dgrr>>.
EFhalci', wedding jaurne. didn't trtmh,
with success.
He hs not carried i've miles hi. nauth-li--
pujei tlcr
When hi- weld NJ garment, parted IA SON,
lnconNenirni place;
He'd have SiyeH baia hi, oxen Ia a Wsf.
that HOW a, l,.d.
For her company TWO minutes with a needle
ami thread.
Bat hr pinned them up Nita "a .n-,> st u,-,,-
iona. ai>tre,.
Feeling tn It bis wedding wouldn't De & carnival
VI Att>-
"HAw. BUCK
Gee. Bright
perncd pretty mes
No; Ehphalrt Wa, not strictly spectacular
success
He had not gone trn-m,Ir when wheel ia
mure.s broke.
\ di,unitei family Of frlIoc. hub and ,poAc.
/ joined with lattcring prospects, the society
Of Wrecks.
And he had to cut .ap,ins aud insert it Ia
the Eek"
- he yloughel the hill, and valley, wiki that
porlc " heel and 'ir'.
Feeling that hi wedding Journey was not all
he could dc>irc.
Gee. Bright.
long. Buck
He shouted, hoar-o with ire
No; EphAl wedding Journey none IN
cSndor could sdmirc.
He had not gone iNeen miles, with extended
face fOrorn.
When nigh, IA, down upon him hard and Kept
hm Their, tn morn;
And when the daylight vhu KIDD Al The gloom
within hi, mind.
one "a wa ".irayrd or stolen" and tho other
hard 90 find
-. yoA!ns Kuek Il usuAi. he assumed Tho part
ot Bright
Constituting = mcnaEerir dNcrting to ID,
With "Haw. Back
tree. BasA
>hant - there t.ll night,
No, EAphairt', wedding journey Wa mot one
lnteU>, delight.
Now. when ht drove hl, rqu5pas, up To- Ri,
sweetheart, door
The wedding s-c>i> bad tired aui gone .u-t
half au hour h,ior,.
The preacher had, from ,cAno-,. an unprout-
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1881-08-04

EXTRA FEED NEcEssARY.-It will he
observed that the cows while shedding their
old hair need little extra feed. The milk
at this time does not cream as well as either
earlier or later. The draught on the food
to grow a new coat of hair is somewhat
severe, and tells in the amount OF cream
produced.
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1881-08-04
For The American
Bone as a Fertilizer.
FRANKLI>, Me, JULY u, 1881.

htNR SIR
Can You tell me the effect of ground
bone dust ON run out clay soil Is it ad,is-
able To spread il ON grass land and at what
time Of the year You told me last year
| that It was good thing lw"uld be pleased
To near nor" YOU hours i'uN
= H. VI
ID, r,ra' ,r,c,,rs VIM nr ,h, ''
Wan. ., i,fe and lal.ar IN +. ,srm-uiu, a r.l.c,.
''n OF ayr. 0i'urai Au'h'r'''e,' see'nd '' ne
/ men, ,-.r.. merr,.r.sn of an ,...-i,tiep =
/ f.rlusr- .ho brought their Individual kno~i,dsr
'"4 I'''i''e mt" r'"rn'" IT, = have CIV" ~ "
In. -. ~ on.., '.. I.,r,i a u e',,f.,.,.n
Qu.-t. aiir,--.I T., ..ADai,ol,.~ turu, y
on''+ "'Ii rr.'''e 'ar'foI's "n-' .'r'-' reptile
WHAT i BONE Bone the cream "'
manure agncn''nTA'y considered consists
"' '' paris "i phosphate '' '''''' i'"'''
nitrogen " '''' P"'>l"''' "' n'"S''>'"'
'"'''H''' '' >'"'' N'' We '''''' 81 d '''''
i''"''' on "'+" '''' i''''-> ava" ''''''''
l." pounds "' phosphate % "m'' anu -
i'''''"> nitrogen Il - '"' I"'> i'''''' "'
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1881-08-04
Have Always Paid Rent!

For a house to live in. This year ! have
half Maid for cottage, with money which.
before | used Sulphur Bittsrs in my family
was paid to the doctor and the druggist
They cured my wife of Female Weakness.
4echsnie, Salem
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1881-10-07
Climax! Climax !

RACES Climax SaIFe,
A Family Blessing for Is cents.
It heals without & scar. No
family should be without it.
We WARRANT it to CURE
Sores, Ulcers, ScrGiUi,s Sores,
Fever Sores, Salt RheuT8,e ore
Breasts Or Nipples, Egy stpeias,
Swollen Glands, IniiaIned Eyes,
Scalds, Burns, Cuts, Bruises,
Fistuia, Piles, BoiEs, C;li.5laiRs,
Frosted Feet, Germs, aid I'll cu-
taneOus diseases on man or beast.
It has been used over twenty
five years, without one failure.
1t has no PARALLEL having per-
fectly er:dicatad disease, annd
healed after all other remedies
had failed. Tt is a compound Of
Arnica with many other Extracts
and Balsams, and put up in larger
boxes for the same price than any
other Ointment.
sE Sold by Druggists everywhere
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1881-10-07
"Gnnd for Flias.i'

Say, do you know what's good for
fliesP'' queried Woodward avenue
butcher as he entered drug store the
other day.
II guess can put you up some
thing for about q quarter was the re-
ply.
When the dose was ready the butcher
was told to pour it out on plates and
set them on the counter, and he hur-
ried away to give it trial. In about
an hour he sent for the druggist to
come over. The 10000 flies in the
shop before the dose was fixed had
been multiplied by four.
Great landsi but I'm being carried
off by flies" exclaimed the butcher
as he waved long knife around his
head.
''Well, why don't you get something
to kill 'em off -
.'Didn'tI but it hasn't killed one. -
'sOf course it hasn't. You wanted
something good for flies and gave
you clarified syrup! It's the best stuff
to draw flies and keep 'em contented
ever heard of. Why didn't you tell me
you wanted a fy-killcr? "-Detrott
Free Press
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1881-10-07
Brudder Benton's Remarks.

Look dar', chillun! Look at dem
woolly heads hangin' on that kerridge!
Dom low 20 fader ter eotch one oh 20
goin' froo de world holdin' on ter any
body's kerridge or coat tails.
Hangin' behind am jiss volts spilein'
de present crop oh manhood.
Yo sees 'em hangin' behind in the
hacker crop, 'spectin' ter be help't out
at the end OBJ de row.
Dey have rich 'lation. an dey's allus
hangin' behind at de circus doah to be
TUX In; hangin' behind ter git sasser
oh de ice-cream freezer; hangin' behind
were de 'lations hab company ter raw
age the second table.
Yo fader runs fob iestes OBJ de peace,
an bout 'leben big bucks wants ter be
constable oh de township. Dey hangs
on ter yer fader's coat tails 'spectin' he
pull dem oil froo. 70 fader kin prom
Use ter do hit, kase dat am politics; but
he allus hab ter trade dem foh votes
'ginst de candidate wot makes hit hot
fob 20 fader.
Desc am de fools wot buys second
hand furniture; buys second-wear
clothes at auction; secondhand jewel
~ OBJ de pedler, an borrers de news
papers week old Allus swingin' ON
behind sumfin' OF somebody.
Dey makes a 'pintment fob sunrise,
nm gifts dar IL time to eat dinner wild
20.
Dey nebber pays note till de jestis
piles de cost on hit.
Dey am late ter church. an miss de
collection.
Dey gifts lef' by de train; gifts lef in
the trade; gifts lef' in ebbery ting in de
gran race OBJ life.
Yo fader keeps his hacker stick In
de chimney corner to prevent dis habit
OBJ hangin' behind gittin' holt on yoi
ter 'struct yer ter void de tail oh de
procession, an git right on dc front
seat OBJ no own kerridge, an raise a
big dust long de turnpike oh life.
Den while 20 Lbs folks gwine ter re-
spcet yo, an wen you dies 20 fader
won't find 20 ober dar, playin' second
fiddle in de hebenly ostrichy.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1881-10-07
IF I was President


'.Now, if I was President began
Mr.. Butterfly, of Prospect Street, the
other morning, as he passed his cup
over for a second sip of coffee-s.if [
was President of the United States
(Which you amt, you known broke
in Mrs. b., in an argumentai and con-
fdential tone.
'sAnd not likely to be-" added Mrs.
BIS mother with contemptuous toss
of her head.
NO." assented Mr.. B., pleasantly,
"but I was just supposing the case
Then suppose something in reason
retorted Mrs. B., snappishly;. you
might as well suppose you was the
man in the moon, or the man in the
iron mask, or"
so might. my dear, SO I might, !"
asserted Mr.. B., stillpleasantly smiling,
''but that has nothing to do with it. L
was merely going to say that if l was
President OF the United States, I'd"
''Myr' burst in Miss Gertrude,
aged eighteen, ''if you was, pa,
wouldn't it be splendid Just to think
how those Wheedletop girls would
change their tune when / met them,
instead OF throwing out their insinua-
tons about people who consider it nice
to turn their last seasons silk, so that
they may have more to give to charity.
But they might turn green with envy
before I'd ever
Eyes, and wouldn't 1 warm it to
Sammy Dugan, just!' chirped in Mas
ter Thomas, aged twelve; "p d 60 up
to him an smack him ON the nose with
brick, fore he knowed where he
was; an he dissent hit me back then,
COS it 'ud be treason, an they'd hang
him. An I'd slide on the sidewalk, an
shy snowballs at the p'leecemen, an
sass Miss Ferule, an play hockey every
day when it didn't rain, an'-an'-
I'd
'.Yes'' chimed in Mrs. B., catching
the infection from her enthusiastic pro-
geny, ''and then I'd be the first lady
in the land, let the next be who she
would, and the Senator's and Cover
nor's wives would beg to be introduced
to me, and I'd have balls twice a week,
and banquets every day, an"
''And I'd have the management of
the White House. and run things" re-
| marked Mrs. BIS mother, her eyes
sparkling with the prospect.
Not much you wouldn't = from
| Miss Gertrude-s'not if kept my health
ana kuOW IIl}SCIIi NOu NOuIuu ilot do
long as was the Presidents daughter
and
yah ~ calculated Master Tom, 81
guess the Presidents son would be the
| biggest plum in that dish Wouldn't I
| be the Prince of Whales then-say
What nd you know bout
"Shut up-all Of you" commanded
| Mrs. B. 81 reckon the Presidents wife
| is the highest authority in the land
| Anyhow, there'd be dusty old time
if anybody questioned it, and | bet
when the exercises were finished the
survivors wouldn't ask for any electoral
commission to decide it over again.
| Ny I'd like to see any body-But, by
the-way. Mr.. Butterfly. what was it you
were going to say you would do, il you
| was President of the United States?''
Resign as soon as the Lord would
let me, said Mr.. Butterfly, calmly but
determinedly.
And then meditative silence fell
upon the family, and remained there
| until the meeting arose.