Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1881-08-05

IeE anu bAC ulu. odC
for she went down and carried a party
"of fve5 hundred. ~ Charles Barr
Todd.
Detroit Currency.
There may be such a thingas "sceius
sermons in running BROOKS" but If the
front don't bite pretty we'll the sermon
has no effect.
A subscriber asks if we can recon-
mend cheap and popular watering
place. Csrtaioly; Just let US know
where it is and we'll recommend it.
That's the kind we approve Of. Bcs-
ton Post.
The Chronicle says thsta great many
Philadelphia people will he greatly
discouraged at the disc very that the
revised edition Of the New Testament
does not advocate reduction of street.
Car fares.
| A Wisconsin clergyman says the
smallest wedding fee he ever received
was one dollar, and that was from one
of the richest men he ever married. 1t
is only rich man that can afford to be
that mean.
Eight hundred lawyers have been
graduated from different colleges since
January 1st. OF these fifty may make
decent living as lawyers. The rest
will barely scrape along as ward poiiti-
clans and shysters.
Ella Wheeler, in poetry, says: 81
often dream of love, holy as the moon
light on the grave" We should like
to know II moonlight on grave is any
more holy than moonlight on q wood
shed roof Boston Post.
They do not die on the premises
is the recommendation given for pat &.
ent rat poison. 1t makes the rats feel
so bad that they go awav and die at the
house of a neighbor. There is nothing
like it. New Orleans PIcayune.
There are not more than 300 profess
sional burglars in America, and yet to
keep them out OF our homes we pay
IS 900 600 per year for locks. bolts and
fasteners. Tea Thousand dollars apiece
per year would hire them to be good.
A Philadelphia paper says that the
effort to introduce wide belts for sum-
mer wear has proved q failure. The
female waist is now so high that moth
ing but the shoulder prevents it from
touching the ears New York Ex-
press.
LIZ Due says he shall keep right on
With his experiments all the same, and
he is now more than ever convinced
that he will soon succeed in growing
cherries on vines. Pity he never turned
his attention to inventing new sort of
corset.
The Physiological Journal says that
nose bumped IN the center betrsys u
shallow mind. That's all the p.
knows of human nsture. Just you trade
horses with such a man and you'll fild
him deep enough to beat you out OF
your grandmother's gravestone.
Not telephone: Hello, Uncle
Nose. hellor cried Jim Webster, as
ne hurried down Austin avenue, trying
to overtake the old man. Be keerful,
Jeames, be keerful how you ondrees
yo'self to me; l amt no telephone"
replied the highly indignant deacon
Texas Siftiugs.
While in the Adirondacks last sum
mer the Boston Post man was drawn
into business interview with O bear.
After struggle he escaped and un,
folded bis narrowing tale to a party of
vacation friends. They were anxious
to see the bear, and they urged IAN
Sorts to take the lead and show them
where he saw the animal. He refused.
He said he couldn't be guyed.
"Going away this summer ?" quer'ed
a boot black of q fellow mortal at the
Postoffice yesterday.
"Naw!"
SWELL, you needn't be so short about
it,"
"Maybe needn't, but the idea of
our going off to Saratogy when we can't
raise SO to git dad out of the Work
HOUSE does us injustice as q family"
"Were you drunk ?" asked his Honor
at the Central Station of prisoner who
had been found in the gutter.
Were drunk
eyes,"
"Well, the last thing I remember
was seeing the City Hall tower leaning
over within q foot of my head, aud 1
.qustted to get out of the way. If the
tower is down I was sober; if it's up
there yet I'll admit that come awful
near having an attack of the vertigo"
The Detroit Free Press states that
"while the circus with the most beau.
tiful woman in America was psradisg
through Chicago the other day, the
absurd cry was raised by q practical
joker: The $4,000 beauty has got
loose.' The crowd ran in every direc.
tion. Some women tainted. and one
~ss thrown through o window, nearly
killing q telegraph operator" Those
who have seen 1.-The most beautiful :"
think the people were justified in being
panic-strickeD.-(B ston Post.
Ten Days Too Late.
| Yesterday mornlDY man who lives
in the Saginaw Valley was at the depot