The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1881-04-22
Same Amusing BIuuders.

from ChamDerss Jouinshi
We do not know whether the recipient OF
the following letter felt amused or enraged
on reading IL. II was written by Bucking-
bamshire farmer to distinguished scientinc
agrjcnlturisl, to whom he felt under Oh
LEGATION for introducing variety OF
swine: "Respeeted Sir,-l went yes.
terday to the fair at A. L I0uno
several pigs OF your species. ihere
was a great variety OF beasts; ana l was
greatly astonished at not seeing you there. y
We must imagine this to have oeen wrilen
| i'm an of. hand manner, aud without much
consideration; as also another, by an illite-
rate farmer, i.hing to enter some animals
at an agricultural exhibition. when be
wro,e as follows to the secretary OF the So
ciety: "Entcr me also for tackass. j nave
no doubt whatever OF gaining prize"
very slight stretch of Imagination Is
rcdujred 10 depict the amazement OF that
inauisiiive old gentleman, OF botanical
| tuin OF mind, who inquired OF the gardener
| I'm one of the public places III promenade !:
"Pray, my good man, can you INFORM me
| il this particular plant belongs to the Ar
butus' family T" when he received for re-
ply: "No, sir; it doan't; ii belongs 10 the
CORPORATION A" This same remark applles
to that ambitious young lady who was
talking very earnestly about her favOrite
authors, when one OF the company inquired
il she liked Lamb. With an indignant toss
of the head, she answered, that she " cared
VIEW little about what she ate, compared
with knowledge" Doubtless the party
who put the question felt more amused by
the answer than'tbe parish priest did, who,
observing an Irish girl at play on sunday,
accosted her with "Good. morning, daugh-
ter OF the Evil One" when she meekly re-
piled "Good.morning, father"
Many an amusing mistake has been made
by people bard of hearing. We are told
that certlin Dean Of Ely was once at din
ner, when, Just as the cloth was removed,
the subject of discourse happened to be-
that Of extraordinary mortality among law
yers. ave have lost" said Il gentleman,
| not less than seven eminent barrlstels in
rs many months" The Dean. who was
very deaf, rose Just at the conclusion OF
these remarks and gave the company grace:
For this and every other mercy make Us
deyoutly thankful" On another occasion,
at military dinner in Ireland. the follow
ing was on the tolst.list: MAY the man
who has lost one eye in the glorious ser.
vice Of his beloved country never see dis
tress with the other" But the person
whose duty it was TO read The toast acct
dentaly omitted the important word DIS
tress," which completely changed the SEN
timent, and caused no end OF merriment by
the blunder.
Another instance may be quoted, If only
TO show how careful people should be IN
expressing themselves on public occasions.
A church in South London bad been
erected, when dinner was given, at the
Ill. nf tt.A
builder was proposed, when he rather
eniematically replied that he was more
fitted for the scafoid than for public speak
ing"
On the other hand, some mistakes, al
though amusing, are not altogether comph'
mentary. Few, for instance, would care to
endorse an observation which fell from the
Inns of gentleman, after gazing for some
time at the skeleton Of a donkey, and adj
mirng and wondering at the struc-
ture of that despised animal. "Ah,"
said he, ave are fearfully and wonderfully
made" Equally as good was that OF
the greenhorn who at a menagerie was
particularly interested in baboon. Seve-
raj persons were present. one OF whom eX-
pressed the opinion that it was OF lower
order of the human species. This so net
tied the coun,ryman that he immediately
exclaimed: Pooh, pooh! he's no more
human species than we be-"
The late Lord LansdOwDe used to relate
that when, after Turner the painters death,
he went TO the artists house on foggy
morning in the hope OF getting peep OF
his reserved works, the old woman in
charge, looking up through the area rail
ings, took him for the cats meat man, and
bawling up, told him he "needn't come
anain rs the eat had died the day befOre.V