davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1881-08-02
BEHIND THE BARS
Is Where E. II. Croker got Him
self for Assisting the Pris-
oners to Escape.

Ever since the escape Of Ryan and Moore
from the county Jail, which occurred early
last Monday morning, Sheriff Conner and
his deputies have been at work trying to
effect the capture of the prisoners and
bring those who aided them in their rs
cape-for the sheriff was positive that they
were aided by outside parties-tO justice.
4 day or two after the escape one Of tho
prisoners confined in the jail informed the
sheriff that he could tell who it was that
helped them to the tools, and on being
questioned did so, stating that il was red
headed man who helped lay the pavement
around the corridor of the Jail some weeks
ago, and that Moore gave him ten dollar
bill for the tools. The prisoner also told
the sheriff that there were two other pris-
oners, who were locked up in another cell
who could tell him how the prisoners
gained the tools.
The prisoners referred to were in turn
questioned and they both told the same
story a. told by the other prisoner, and de-
scribed more fully how the transaction
was brought about. Upon learning this
the sheriff began to make inquiry, and
learned that Moore had offered the same
ten dollar bill to two other men engaged at
work on the building for either file or
knife Since learning the above the sher-
ifs have been on the lookout for Croker,
and this morning Deputy Sheriff Allen
Conner ran across him in a Main street
saloon. He was taken TO the Jail and
guarded until state warrant
could he procured, after which
he was taken before Squire
Clark, who placed his bond at $500, and
set the case for Saturday morning.
The prisoner is young man about
twenty years of age, and lives with his
parents in the southern part Of the city,
where they recently moved from the state
of New York. He seems to take the mat
ter very coolly, and seemed anxious for a
trial. He is laborer; and works at most
anything that he can get to do. 4 BAzOO
reporter attempted to interview him
but , he would not talk. The re-
porter then asked him, what his name was
he turned to one of the deputy sheri6s and
said, 'The Lord made lots Of inquisitive
people, didn't he?" He then grinned as
If he had said something very funny, and
gave the reporters to understand that when
he wanted to be talked to he would send
for him.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1881-08-02
A Little Plum.

1T is the mean temperature that make.
a man sick.-New Orleans Picavune.
The fly that walks on oleomargarine
is not the butier6y.-New Orleans Plea
yunc.
America is the cradle Of liberty, and
so We rocket ON the FOurth.-Wii and
Wisdom.
lit is a mistake to assume that a rose
BY any other name would swell a. wheat.
-Yonkers Gazette.
-Milkmcn and reporters 60 hand-in-
hand pumping their way through the
world. New Haven Register.
The colleges are busy lettering great
men, 50 that they can be identified if they
go a>,ray in the future.-FOnd du Lac Re-
porter.
Young lover asks: "When is the best
time TO travel 2" When you see the old
man and his bulldog coming around the
corner, sir, travel for all Won are worth
Boston Post.
Does it pay to keep clean record in
politics ?" asks the Binghamton Republi-
can. Ii may pay, but man has To econo-
mize to save twenty five thousand dollars
year out Of salary Of i've thOuSand.--
EOrristOwn Herald.
A constant reader" wants to know
the length Of the comets tail. II all the arti.
cles printed about the celestial denizen
since its first appearance were clipped out
of the newspapers and pasted together,
they would make string as long As the
comets tail, but not quite SO luminous
Norristown Herald
Peanut stand-Small boy: as them
all yer give for a cent? Why, yuster to
get twice that many" Vendor: "Yes;
but all the fruit crops is failed this year,
and peanuts and peaches is uncommon
slow comm in" Small Boy: Then
give me cents worth OF ice cream them
isn't failed, is it ?"-Clipper.
If you want to get the reputation Of
knowing heap, do as Professor Proctor
does. He guesses what happened three or
four million years ago, and predicts what
is TO happen fifteen million years hence. 1t
is only few years since he commenced,
and now he can get credit at any grocery.
Detroit Free Press.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1881-08-02
ANSWERS
TO Some Things the ''Bazoo'
Would Like to Know.

More ladies wear number fifteen cor
sets than the BAzOo will be able Il
measure.
High rents are going to continue 3.
long rs landlords will put bay windows il
dry goods box.
The reason ladies sacrifice health fol
beauty in shape is because they CANNOT
help themselves. Fashion il tyrsnt.
Rob Woodbridge is no, really crazy
bu,--but. he would make his fortune BE-
hind the iOotlights At the insanity dodge
The hog law is not enforced BY thu
county officials well--er-ther,
il probably too much OF a feeling OF kin
ship.
Henry Masonhall was really offered
FIVE dollars for his dOg-the man who made
the offer intending to poison the brute i'm
mediatelv.
The cause Of the loose boards in the
sidewalks is because the city prefers to pay
heavy damages rather than 10 stOop low
enough {" put in few nails.
The reason some reporters who are
possessed with an over abundance OF gall do
not use il is, we'll, they like whole bones
as an anatomical superstructure.
Certainly the police are doing their
duty. Wasn't it but few days ago that a
child's pet dog Was bravely shot on Sew
enth street, and q tame hooking bird hast
lily hustled OF 10 the calsbOOse?
1t is naughty for y young lady to en-.
terrain her male admirer after midnight,
especially when the curtains are SO thin
that the shadows show how close two heads
may Be together.
The reasons young men Of this city
have for thinking young ladies lace too
tight, is, their own corsets are SO snug and
close fitting they think everybody the
same way. 4 fact.
Our young blOOds are 30 important nj
times because they have succeeded in MAX
ing people believe that they have nothing
to do with the fact Of irail female visiiants
at the pastoral mansion after twelve p, m.
A lady weighing two hundred pounds
enjoys wearing u number twenty corset
much the same n = rabbit enjoys the en-
brace Of boa cOnstSictOr-uOt much low
ing embrace, but q terrible lot of sqneez-
ing.
The reason why railroad companies
allow street crossings to be blocked mp with
rars for fifteen minutes at q stretch, is be-
canse they know the female nature wont
wait, and they love to see 'em crawl un-
der.
The man who sent the query concern
ing "Eve and the garter snake, he being
the only one who could get round her."
was Eugene Field, oi the Kansas City
Times. Eugene understands how easily
any one could be tempted in that way.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1881-08-02

will you 60 out to the park" "No
it's too dark. But there's Prof. Mark
he might 60 out to the park, but he's gone
east on lark"
want to 90 up the lake," mo, but
have brother Jake that takes the cake.
He'll 20 up the lake, and you make no mis-
take"
"Would you like to go for rider" "No,
bnt my sister lde will probably decide to
60 for a ride, and take her friend Lide be-
eide"
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1881-08-02

a chariot of fire was thrillinglv drawn, as
was the baptism Of Jesus.
Rev. Mr.. Md;arvev is one Of the hest
word painters the BAZoO has ever heard.
1t is to be hoped that he will soon again
favor Sedalia people with one Of his thrill
ing lectures.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1881-08-02
Answer This Question.

Why do 80 many people We see around
us seem to prefer to suffer and be made
miserable BY Indigestion, Consumption,
Dizziness, Loss of Appetite, Coming up Of
the Food, Yellow Skin, when for &c. We
will sell them Shiloh's Vitalizer, guaran-
teed to cure them. Sold BY your drug
gist.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1881-08-02
SEDALIA
Business College!
The undersigned, with pleasure, announce
to the citizens Of Central Missouri,
that they have opened
first-clasS
Commercial College!
and on and after the
l.t DAY JULY,
will be prepared to receive any number Of
students that desire to learn
BOOK KEEPING !
AND
PENMANSHIP.

Our aim will be to give students thor
ongh and practical knowledge of BOOK
KEEPING, a. We now have under our
charge several sets Of books Of merchants
doing the largest business in Sedalia, and
refer to them, BY permission, a. to our
ability.
For terms Of tuition. ETC., send for eata-
logue. or call at our office, on Second
street, over Dexter's store and opposite the
pOstOf6ce.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1881-08-02
For Sale,

A complete country printing Office fol-
sale cheap. 1t consists Of Washington
hand press, Gordon jobber, type, cases,
stands, imposing stones, sticks and type in
abundance. Address
j. WEST GOODWIN,
:27dtf Sedalis, Mo.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1881-08-02
Sneak Thieves,

Sometime during yesterday afternoon a
sneakthief or thieves entered the residence
Of Mr.. Ira Hinsdale, on Broadway, and
stole two pair Of gold bracelets and gold
necklace. No clue to the culprit.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1881-08-02
MOORE { FRAZER,
s-ss..'s" Preprietors.

i 70 positive cure for sPsrma.orrLsa. ssm,na
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1881-08-02

To persons employed in constant men,
tai toll, study or anxiety, Fellows Syrup
Of Hypophosphites is especially adapted,
namely to teachers, clergymen, editors.
lawyers and impecuniOus business men.
The Morehouse clarion., 1881-02-05
Absent. Minded Men.

The great grandfather OF Lord
Chief Justice Coleridge of En-
gland, who was the Vicar Of Of
terry St. Mary (the Clavering Of
"Peudennis") was as absent a
man as the late Lord Dudley.
Ii is still remembered in Devon
shire how M. Coleridge once
went away on a weeks visit, and
on his wife's nnpacking his
trunk when be returned, she In
CURED what had become OF the
four shirts he had taken with
him. He remembered wearing
them, but knew nothing as to
their present whereabouts" but
it presently appeared that in a
fit of absence he had put one
shirt over another, and was at
that moment uuconsciously wear
ing all four.
The Morehouse clarion., 1881-02-05

Sir John Lubbock has made
discovery which may turn out
of some importance to our Wes-
tern farmers. In the neighbour
hood of the site Of ancient Troy
Sir John has come across a
beetle whose nilsson it seems to
be to destroy locusts by consum-
irg their eggs. Even before they
arrive at the dignity Of full
grown beetles, while in the grub
state of their development, they
begin their attack on the un-
Matched young of the winged
destroyer" The voracity OF the
Lubbock beetle is said to be ex
traordinary, and some of then
seem to be able to destroy the
whole crop of choppers" an1
have actually done so In Ger
tain parts of Asia Minor this
Season.
The Morehouse clarion., 1881-02-05
Warming Up a Hornets Nest.

There is an old woman on
Catherine Street who delights to
find a case that all the doctors
have failed to cure ano then 60
to work with herbs and roots and
strange things and try to effect
at least an improvement. A few
days ago she got hold Of girl
with a stiff neck, and she offered
On old negro named Uncle To"
Kelly fifty cents to go to the
woods and bring her a hornets
nest. Thiswas to be stepped II
vinegar and applied to the neck
The old man spent several days
along the Holden Road, and yes
terday morning he secured hi
prize and brought it home in {
basket. When he reached th'
aGsntral Market he lad q Ie7
purchases to make, and after get
ting some tea. at q grocery h
placed his basket on q barre
The Morehouse clarion., 1881-02-05

A party of scapegraces, meet
ing pious old man named Sam
son, one of them exclaimed, "Ah
now we're safe! Well take
Samson along with US, and then
should we be set upon by a
thousand Philistines, he'll slay
them all u "My young friend,
quietly responded the old man
"to do that I should have to Dor
row your jaw-bone."
The Morehouse clarion., 1881-02-05
A Bit Gushy.

A Maryland editor tenders
congratulations to a recently
married friend In these fervld
words: Fate has garlanded the
cbapIet of our friend with Que OF
the fairest and sweetest fl ,wrrs
that bloom in the parterre of
beauty, whose fragrance will! i'm
pregnate with redolence every
impulse of his generous heart.
The brightest star that radiates
the galaxy of fascinating women
shines upon and eliminates his
pathway with her bland smile
and ai|uring light, whose resplen-
dent effulgence, glowing with un-
dimmed lustre each revolving
season, will pilot the victor OF so
estimable a prize to haven of
happiness. May joys and bless
ings as exquisite and ha'lowed
as those epgendered by shower
Of roses scattered down by the
hands of the Peri from the far off
gardens of Paradise crown their
welded future and increase with
the lapse Of time. "-[Philadel-
phia Times.
The Morehouse clarion., 1881-02-05
The Boy Lincoln.

Lincoln s early youtu WAS spon'
in Spencer county, Iud., above
Rockport, beautiful little city
browning the abrupt cliffs winch
frown over the Ohio river. lie
was faithful and Industrious, out
there was in him a latent indo-
lance which made him fond OF
taking bis rod to fish, or with bis
gun upon his shoulder, he would
roam in search of game over the
long, low hills bursting with red
clay. There are living atpresent
several old citizens who kne"
Lincoln we'll at that time. he
was thoughtful and his ssolitary
expeditions probably gave d nlm
plenty OF opportunity IN! to indulge
his medaitatlve faculties. The
DESCRIPTION Of his appearance
then his long, lank legs under a
diminutive body;his homely face
upon which, the prominent nose
stood like a handle; his long hair
dangling upon his shoulders
bring up instantly the picture OF
Ichabod Crane in the twilight
stealing over the hills of Sleepy
Hollow to pay bis court to Frau
lein Katrina Won Tassel.
The embryo statesman was full
of spirit and fond of mad pranks
One ola gentleman in Rockpor'
lives to tell Of the last time he
saw Lincoln. He was visiting
the Lincoln homestead, and as
he was coming away they founo
a tresspassing COW hanging
about the gate. The COW hae
given the Lincolns much annoy
ance by entering their garden
and committing depredations
Young Abe was dressed in sui
of Jeans, without any coat, as 4
was summer time, and on hls
head he wore a broad-brimmee
white straw hat, part OF which
was cracked and broken. Find
ing the COW standing hypocritl
cally meek at the gate, yount
Abe leaped astride of her back
and, digging his bare heels int
her sides, the astonished ANNA
broke away down the road in
numbering gallop. 'The last
saw of Abe Lincoln" the oil
gentleman relates fondly, "h
was swinging his hat shouting a
the top Of his voice and gal!op
ing down the road on that thun
derstruck cow"
In the old country church nea
the Lincoln place is a pulp
which was made by Abe Lincol
and his father. There is a bool
case in the Evansville custo1
house made by the same carpel
tiers and taken there for prese
walton. Near where the o.
house stood is a dilapidate
corn-crib with rail floor, the raj
for which We're split by your
Lincoln. Last fall a monUmel
was raised over Nancy Lincoln
grave through the efforts of Ge'
eral Veatch, of Rockport. 1t
q plain slab with a plain insert
tiou.-[Louisyille Courier-Jou
nal.
Warming I'm Hornets Nest.
The Morehouse clarion., 1881-02-05
near the stove aud went out to
look for a beef bone.

It was a dull day for trade.
The grocer sat by the stove
rubbing his bald head. His
clerks stood at the desk balanc-
ing accounts, and three or four
men lounging around talking
politics. It was a serene hour.
One hundred and fifty hornets
bad gone to roost in that nest
tor the winter. The genial at
mosphere began to timber them
up. One old veteran opened his
eyes, rubbed his legs aud said it
was the shortest winter he had
ever known in all his hornet
days. A SECOND shook off the
le'har ggy and seconded the mo-
ton, and in five minutes the
| whole nest was alive and it's
owners were ready to sail out
and investigate. You don't have
| to hit a hornet with the broad
side of an ak to make him mad.
He's mad all over all the time,
and be doesn't care a picayune
whether he tackles humming- bird
or an elephant.
The grocer was telling one OF
the men that be and Gen. Grant
we're boys together, when he
gave sudden start OF surprise.
This was followed by several
other starts. Then he jun ped
over barrel of sugar and yelled
like a Pawnee. Some smiled ,
thinking he was after funny
climax, but it was only a minute
before q solemn old farmer
jumped three feet high and came
down to roll over a job lot OF
wash-boards. Then the clerk
ducked his head and ma le rush
| for the door. He didn't get
there. One of the other men
who had been looking up and
down to see what could be the
matter, felt suddenly called upon
to go home. He was going al
the rate of forty miles an hour
when he eollided with the clerk
and they rolled on the floor
There was no use to tell the peo'
pie in that store to move on
They couldn't tarry, to save EN-.
They all felt that the rent was
too high, and that they must va
cate the premises A yell over
by the cheese-box was answered
by war-whoop from the show
case. A howl from the kerosene
barrel near the back door was
answered by wild gestures
around the show window.
. The crowd went out togethc
Uncle Tom was just coming il
with his beef-bone. When
r large body meets a smaller on
t the larger body knocks 1t int
i, the middle of next week. Th
old man laid around in the slusl
until everybody had stepped O
him all they wanted to, and the
he sat up and asked:
'Hev dey got de fab all pu
= out yit ?"
q Some of the hornets sailed GU
IS doors to fall by the wayside, an
g others waited around on top ,
It barrels and baskets and jars
s be slaughtered. 1t was half a
!. hour before the last one was dix
: posed OF, end then Uncle Tol
: walked in, picked up the nes
and said:
"Mebbe dis will cure de stiff
ness in dat gals neck, jist {
same, but I tell you I'ze g
i sbuu,uts, -l...a~r~1 --A--2--.---
The Morehouse clarion., 1881-02-05

The greatness Of victory
may be estimated from the Sc
verify Of the conflict. A man
never has to struggle more des-
perately than to overcome sell.
The Morehouse clarion., 1881-02-05

The Detroit Free Press is
responsible for the TO- lowing: A
live agent out west is drumming
no subscribers for a weekly pa
per. He gives a chnmo to all
who refuse to subscribe. The
circulation of that weekly prom
Uses to be the largest il America.
The Morehouse clarion., 1881-02-05
=. s. RoLLElGH
BASTROP, LOUISIANA.
UNDERTAKEN,
Bastrop, La.

Spectacles and to suit any eye. Gold
rings, reast-pins, ,shirt-studds, brace,
lete, cuff buttons, watch-guards, and
everything to be found in hrst-class
iewelry shop, including the celebrated
CALESDAR CLOCK, price only SD. spe,
cial attention paid to repairing. All
work guaranteed. ),
Country orders promptly attended to
Wedding rings made to order;
iany P. S. ROLLE1GH.
The Morehouse clarion., 1881-02-05

All reports to the contrary
the ice-crop for 1881 lbs not Jet
been damaged by FROST
The Morehouse clarion., 1881-02-05
SCIENCE AND INDUSTRY.

LII Is piOOdo'o tb'o VIM NV
Gothard Tunnel will be llluml-
mated throughout its entire
length by the electric light.
Prof. Silvestri fluids that the
summit of Mount Etna has been
lowered about forty feet as re-
suit OF recent volcanic activity.
Under favorable conditions the
chestnut and the oak will live
a thousand years. The beech
aud the ash live less than half as
long: ,-~---->- y
The boring of the Arlberg Tun-
mel is in active progress on the
Austrian side of the mountain,
and ground will shortly be broken
on the Swiss side.
The attraction of the earth up
on a magnetic needle at its sur
face has been found to be about
the same as that of a strongly
magnetized hard steel bar forty
inches long at a distance OF one
foot.
An appropriation bill passed
by the United States House OF
Representatives provides for q
survey OF the Gulf Stream from
its origin to the Saragossa Sea.
The plan embraces sounding,
deep-sea temperatures, and OBJ
servations of the currents.
It has been proposed to utilize
the swift Currents OF rivers by
systems of anchored floats car
rving current wheels connected
with dynamo-electric apparatus
The electricity thus generated
might be used for almost any
purpose for which power is re-
| ouired, as we'll as for lighting
towns. ..
| Another lake village, assigned
by experts to the age of bronze
has been discovered ct AuveDier
near Neutchatiel. Several mill
stones quite new, others bal
made, have been brought to light
| from which it is inferred that the
place may haze been the sea
Of a mandatory Of these ar
ticles.
The size attained by iceberg'
is sometimes prodigious. From
measurements made upon one
Dr.. Hayes estimated it to COZ
tain about 27,000,000,000 feet
while it's weight must have beer
not less than 1,0O0,O00,0O0 tons
It was grounded in water nearl
half a mile in depth. What, Their
must have been the thickness an
size of the glacier flom which
this mass had become detached
A very curious proof OF tn
identity OF animal and vegetabl
protoplasm has been supple
F by Claude Bernard, who ha
shown that both are alike sens
, tive to the influence of anaesthe
: les. Exposed to ether, sens
tive plant no longer closed il
leaflets when touched. Assim
lation and growth, as we'll as gel
mination, are arrested by chlor'
. form. Schuztenberger has prove
that the fresh cells of the yea
pTguT urvIvuu- --SfSc nu---rs~rYUal VI
animal.
The Morehouse clarion., 1881-02-05

The bakers business should
be profitable; a good part of his
stock is rising while |e sleeps
The Morehouse clarion., 1881-02-05

What is the differens between
a fixed star and a metpr ? One
s a sun, the other a dater.
The Morehouse clarion., 1881-02-05

IA exchange says: "Pennsyl-
yapia Dutch girls make good
preserves" but it doesn't say
how much sugar you take to a
pound of Dutch girl, or how long
you let 'em boil. The recipe for
preserving Dutch girls should be
published Buffalo Express.
The Morehouse clarion., 1881-02-05

The missionaries in China find
the opium traffic their chief
hindrance Iti~--SiH~~',a 4l>->-
o,UUU,uUO people a year perish,
owing to their inveterate habit
of consuming this drug. The
city of Ningpo has 1900 opi1m
shops.
The Morehouse clarion., 1881-02-05

Will make liberal advances and sell
on consignment, cotton, sugar, molasses,
rice, tobacco, wool, grain, live stock and
country produce of all kinds. Having
favorable connections here and in the
West for the purchase of supplies, all
orders will receive strict attention, and
the interest of patrons will be closely
guarded in price, packing and freight
contract. augS-y
The Morehouse clarion., 1881-02-05

down on till it will take a hull
medical college all winter long
20 git me so I kin jump OFT a
street kyar! "-[Detroit Free
Press.
The Morehouse clarion., 1881-02-05

Smoke "La Belle Creole" cigars
around at Leopold's.
The Morehouse clarion., 1881-02-05

Reasonable Discount to Those Ens
The Morehouse clarion., 1881-02-05
an Advel Using Medium,

We are Prepal d to turn out as good
Press and daily Dakotaian. (Yankton, Dakota Territory [S.D.]) 1880-1889, 1881-06-14
Wanted.

A BOY to strip tobacco or. learn the cigar
a trade-must be over twelve years Of age,
For particulars call at f. Hirshtein's cigar fac
torv, near postofiee. Yankton d. L.
Press and daily Dakotaian. (Yankton, Dakota Territory [S.D.]) 1880-1889, 1881-06-14
ARMED TO THE TEETH

Is very common expression, but we
think that armed to embellish and pre-
serve them'to q ripe old age is decidedly
more appropriate. This can be done by
keeping yourself supplied with bottle
Of that splendid dentifrice, Fragrant
SOZODONT, which will beautify the
teeth and preserve them from the raw
ages Of decay. SOZODONT contains
no acids or gritty substances which in
jure the enamel. but is composed of rare
aud aptiseptic herbs, which have bene.
fetal effect on the whole economy of the
mouth. Sold by druggists.