The Hickman courier. [volume] (Hickman, Ky.) 1859-current, 1881-10-07
The Hammock.

There is something about hammock
that is indescribable, and there is no
rule that can he made that will insure
safety while Sitting in one OF the queer
things. There are people who beneV9
that hammock understands what is go
ing on, and occasionally INDUCES III
joke. 1t is certain that an old per
son with a lame back can, SWING III
hammock half the day and 1t will never
kick up. Servant girls'and children can
get into a hammock as thick as three III
a bed, and there is no danger, but let d
spoony young couple sit down III nam
mock ever so carefully and it seems as
though the COMPOUNDED thing was awe
and had taken a contract to spill them
out on the ground in all sorts OF embar-
RAISING shapes What it is that causes
the commotion Will perhaps never DE
known, without an investigation ny
some middle-aged person, and, IL tli9
season was not so near over, we wouiu
Investigate the blasted thing ourseh,
in the interest of our young readers
who are in the full flush oil
hammOckhood. There can be moth
ing much more annoying to a young
couple than to be sitting side by side or
facing each other in hammock, look
>
the love they dare not speak to show
itself in those orbs, and Just as they are
feeling as though they couldn't live
minute unless they clasped each other to
each others heaving bosoms, or at least
one heaying bosom and one boiled shirt,
and then have the hammock turn bot
tom side up and land them on the back
of their necks, on the ground with legs
pointed toward the crab apples on the
trees to which the hammock is hltched,
arms hinging wildly to pull down panta-
looms legs, and hands convulsively claw
ing gravel, and muslin and delaine, while
bushes suffuse faces that but moment
before were background for the picture
of loves young dream, and or wd of
spectators on the hotel veranda laugh
ing and saying, Set EN- up again,
the hammock shakes itself and turns
right side mp for other victims, as
though it knew what 1t had been doing,
and enjoyed it. There are young men
all over the land who have been through
such experiences, and had TO walk back.
ward all the way to the house. owing TO
assure veins being discovered in the
wearing apparel below the suspenders.
while the number of girls that have been
mortified by having 10 go to the house
with their back hair III one hand, their
skirts in the other, while six places be-
tween the polonaise and the ear rings
were aching like the toothache from con
tact with the gravel path, are legion.
and we call upon the authorities to sup
press the hammock as a nuisance. More
matches have been broken up by ham
mocks than by all the Sunday schools in
the world, and no girl who is how
legged, or has an ankle like a rutabaga,
should ever trust herself in a hammock,
even though it is held by half dozen
friends, as the hammock will shy at
piece of paper as quick as a skittish
horse, and in such moment as We think
not you are on all fours, your head
dizzy, and if there is a hole in your
stocking as small as the old miser's
heart, it viii look to outsiders as
big as the gate to fair ground. o,
a hammock is worse than a bicycle
Peck's Sun.