The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1881-03-24
Congressional Airs.

gentleman tourist VINO sat Slppln8 q
lemonade in the Baldwin bar-room the
other day, and who remarked, as a self
important looking individual came in
and ordered o whisky straight.
SHOW, s'pose that gentleman is one
of your business fellows, and owns about
two-thirds of the real estate round
here"
"No," we replied, che is much
greater parsonage. He is one of the sue
cessful candidates of the late election"
IT might have known It'll" exclaimed
the old gentleman, emphatically. HE
acts Just as did when was elected to
Congress"
Chow was that?"
"Well, YOU see, I was elected M. G.
from the Fourth district just after the
war. We had pretty lively campaign
of it,, and as had never been in politics
before somehow got the idea that the
whole country had quit work and was
watching my contest with quivering
anxiety. Every time the other side &C.
cused me of being chicken thief, or q
bigamist, or something, and I'd back at
them with card in Redville Warwhoop,
headed: Another Lie Nailed! I'd
send marked copy to every leading
paper in the country"
"Did eh?"
Eyes; and was Disguised to find they
never paid the slightest attention to me
either. What surprised me most was
that. although kept the president and
cabinet advised of everything that &C.
Cured, 1 never got the slightest sympa-
thy from any Of them. I was an ad-
ministration man, too, and thought it
was blamed singular"
"Didn't notice you at all?"
"Not at all, sir; and when I was
elected, and the boys lighted bonfire
in the main street, and serenaded me,
and spoke six hours in the open air as
to nv future course on the tariff and
finances, the New York papers merely
said that "a Mr.. Gum had been elected
by small majority my name being
Gonley, as you know"
''That was hard"
"Well, put that all down to envy
and malice, and started for Washing
ton. I expected that at least the speaker
of the house and committee appointed
by the senate would be down at the de-
pot to welcome me to the capital"
''They did so?"
s'The only persons that l met were
committee of hackmen who tore my
overcoat hat off, rammed me into hack,
and robbed me, with the aid and assist
ance of the hotel clerk, who then gave
me q dark room on the top floor. and
asked the first weeks board in advance;
said it was the rule of the house with
Arkansas members"
''The impudent rascal.
'That's what I thought. Well, the
next morning I got away from the bed
bugs as we'll as could, and went up to
the white house to see if the president
would like to stroll down to the house to
introduce me and see me sworn in. l
sent up my card, and in an hour or two
some secretary or other sent back word
that the president was at breakfast and
couldn't be bothered"
s'That was pretty short, wasn't it?"
"Well, I was just dumfounded. How
ever, 1 went down to the capitol and
told the sergeant-at-arms to go in and
announce to the members that l had ar
rived. He grinned and said: That's
devilish good, that Isl and rushed off.
expected that of course the members
would come providing up to congratulate
me, and say something like, Magnificent
speech of yonrs, that last one, Goniey.
Beat 'em by forty-eight votes, too, old
fellow And then mebbe they'd give
me three cheers, and all that sort OF
thing"
"And did they?"
"No, sir; I hope 1 may never stir if
they didn't give me q back seat in the
cloak room until my name was called,
and door-keeper fred me out into the
corridor twice on the impression that l
was a lobbyist Well, after I had been
put on the Joint committee on spittoons
and window washing, and spent q
couple of months trying to wedge in
my great four-hour speech on the match
tax, something occurred that let down
my check rein, and took all the frills
out of me for good"
"What was that?"
"Well, I was taking drive ont to
the Soldiers Home one afternoon with
two other members, when light buggy
went up like streak of creased light
ming, the trotter driven by solemn
looking man in q rusty plug hat, who
was smoking q cigar and steadying
small terrier on the seat with his ell
bow. That's Butcher Boy said one
of my companions with great interest;
'trots in twenty. He's rafting good
stopper, bet your life.'
did you notice that dog?' said an
other. Best bred pup in town-tail no