The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1881-03-02
A Scene in Congress.

Bob Burdette talks thus: My son. IL
may be that as you grow older you will
be seized with an ambition TO serve
your country in the halls Of Congress.
10 this end you should begin now TO
acquire that polish and easy elegance
OF language which will enable YOU to
shine in debate, Read the daily pa
peB, and thus famiiarize yourself with
the language and manners Of the Amer
lean legislator. Cut out the official re-
port OF the great financial debate be-
tween the Hon. Mr., Cleaver and the
Hon, Mr., Shark, that it may be 10 you
a textbook upon monetary matters.
Mr.. Cleaver-ln presenting this bill
for the issue of four hundred million
copper dollars per diem, Mr., Speaker,
! am moved TO say:
lion. Mr.. Shark The honorable gem
tleman is a dirty liar and dissent take
it up.
Hon. Mr.. Clcavcr Sir, Mr., Speaker,
il the honorable gentleman doesn't take
that back in two shakes of sheep tail
VIII Kick the everlasting stulling right
out Of him.
The Speaker The gentleman must
he careful in the heat Of debate, not to
oyerStep the bounds Of courtesy and par
llamcntary uSagcS.
Hon. Mr., Shark The gentleman is
lop-earcd son Of gun from wooden
shoe county, and he cant whip one side
Of me.
Hon Mr., Clcavcr-Will the gentleman
step out from behind his desk and put
up his mauleys' Dance to me, You
sucker, ] only weigh a pound
Hon. Mr.. Shark IN slap your nasty
mouth, you venOmous old beast.
Hon, Mr. Cleaycr Aw-w, shut up,
Skinny; what are You givn' US?
Hon. Mr. Groans, Of TcxaS-Black
his eye. Hit him in the mouth
Other honorable gentlemen from va
rious States Smear him one, Send
him one in the paSte-horn, for luck!
Smack him in the snoot.
Hon. Mr., Candle Che spcaker), mild
" - The honorable gentlemen will
please keep within the bounds Of parlia-
montary courtesy.
Hon. Mr. Cloaycr Dumping up in the
air and cracking his heels together)-
Whoop' | kin chaw up and carry out
any son Of thief between Chicago and
Cairo lfyou don't believe it, smell of
my boots
Hon Mr. Shark - Hold me down,
somebody! I'm the bad man from the
river district, and | eat raw buffalo!
Where do you want me to hit first?
And just here the police, on their way
TO close disOrderly house in the neigh
borhood, stepped in and closed the de-
bate.
From this page Of Congressional his
tory, my son, you can see how to direct
your reading in order to acquire a sufi-
Gent knowledge of financial matters to
participate in debate on the funding
bill 1t may be grand thing to 90 TO
Congress, | won't discourage you, nv
dear boy, if your ambition leans in that
direction. Still, so long rs YOU have an
alternative open, 50 long rs you can get
steady situation as chambermad in a
livery stable or clerk on a raft wouldn't
advise you 10 set your heart on Congress.
The American people really DO not have
much respect for Congress as body.
They are always glad when it adjourns.
Individually, the members Of Congress
are, | believe, good citizens, good
neighbors, and good men. Blu, for
lot OF good raw material, my boy, they
can make the meanest aggregate when
they get together - Don't worry
about going to Congress, TelemachuS.
Go TO the mines or join the Ministries.
Your parents will think more of you.