, 1881-12-11

''IO De It Weil-trcSSet ltt;til Is the gilt Ot
| fortune, but to write and read comes by
na,t,re.'' An old writer says: ''Fashion
builds her temple in some mighty empire,
and, having selected four or fiyt hundred 9f
the siiest people it contains, SHE Gubs then,
with the magnificent aud imposing title OF
The World. Her smile has given Wit to dali
hess, alld grace to tlefornlity, and hats brought
| everything into vogue, by turns, but yiEtue-''
The thing fashion las brought into vogue
/ this year is the striped vest Of our fore
fathers: Fashion has decreed that the vest
of the swell amt the snob shall he striped. or
checked, or bcspangled with mAny-colarca
| ilowers-blue, grec.l, yellow, red. And OF
| course, To match this vest of many colurs,
| there must be :: more or less generous
| Introduction of the hues Of the rlil!-
! bow into the rest of the swell's aI>
| pareI. Says the chroniclcr Of Fashlon's
| DEGREES: ''Gentlencn are emerging from the
| plain dark clothes worn so long to b: ;;sht
| colorings now 50 fashionable i'll LADIES'
Dress 1t is, then to the tyranny OF wt;int:;l
| that the calamity OF the hishlycolored. high
ly-wrnuglt vest is to be attributed. We ire
| to have vests adorned with suniiowers, and
| hotlyhocks, and yellow roses, and pinks, and
| lilies Of the valley, and forgct-mc-nors, and
tluisies because otir wives, and mothers, and
sisters :nuose to array themselves iu robes
| which resemble Il aflower-garden in the month
of June.
II the new fashion in vests could be con-
fined To the elite Of societ;-the four ortive
! huiltretl' who constitute 1.-THE World -
there would b. no Serious objection to it.
WHO ape the five hundred snO5s will have tile
rainbow ii, their vests too. Il iloWer-sartcn
is very we'll i'll its place, but to turn
the waea:-field, and the corn-ield, the potato
patch, and the turnip-bed into the culture of
suntlowers anu black a1ld yellow lilies for
the benefit Of the plowboys and the cow
boys, is to threaten the world with famine,
to say nothing of binding everybody with all
excess OF roInr.
The swell will present fine appearance as
he promcnades the street with Iii: -eyeglass,
his stick, and his nlany-culored much flower
bespangled vest. But how will he feel when
hc meets tile butcher-boy in his sllirt-sleeves
with 4 vest covered all over will, tile picture
Of 4 Texas steer i'll tile act Of being knocked
down and cnt up for the market! When
madam calls at the vegetable mans
place she will find it difficult to
distinguish between the cabbagcs and
carrots, the pumpkins and tomatoes on the
vender's vest and those in Ills stall. And
will not she be dislnayed at the grcengro-
GERS gorgeous vest covered with raris-srcen
pickles. canned peaches, preserved meats,
bugs OF coffee, and chests of tcae
Everywhere these Internal vests covered
with m'nlature representations OF the OWL
cr's occupation will confront the vcst-hauntc,l
community. The vest Of the dog-lancicr will
display tne picture of Il bull-pup showing his
1uurdcrons teeth, that OF the SeWer-builder
the section Of a sewcr-pipe i'll need Of instant
repair, that of the gas-lnan a piece OF broken
gas-pipe with the gas escaping, that Of the
rc;tl-eState llan 4 suburban lot cheap for
cash "or ION easy payments" that Of the bank
President Il huge safe with the legend
in large gold letters, "The Cashier has
not stolen all the funds: we Keep a blood
hound at his side to prevent hiu from visit.
ing tho Stock Exchange.''
1t is plain to be Seen that Fashions esthetic
purpose will bc entirely defeated The
pumpkin, squash, carrot, and tomato style Of
vest, the vest OF the butcher, baker, and can
d'cstick u,aker will outnulnbcr that of the
estilctc thousand to one. Besides, the vest
rs all advertising medium will destroy the
business Of the newspapers. The 1ry-goods
11lan will exhibit his new styles OH Ills vest.
The llouse-rentcr will appear with front
all aglow with designs OF attractive interiors, /
with descriptions Ut the Kitchen, the cellar.
the front par1or, and the spare bedroom.
The community will be transformed into Il
living, walking advertisement; the streets
will look like a Turkish bazaar; and man
kind will resemble n parcel of Court fools.
1t looks now much like Il conspiracy on the
part OF women to render the lords of crea-
ton ridiculous. Nor IRE there wanting other
signs Of this purpose in Fashions DEGREES.
The wuilien have persuaded ,nen to abandon
the narrow-rimlncd hats SO long in vogue
and adopt the wide rim and bell-crowl II
now they can induce the swell to stick a
peacock feather III his widc-rimnletl, bell
crowned hat his transformation into the
sclnblance of all idiot Of the Middle Ages
will be complete. Then let him wear
on his watell-chain the lutest charm
"a 1ady's bonnet ena1neled in blue and |
white ''-and paint his face an incl, thick
sn1 tva shall Iayn finn That, ,1o,,1J