The weekly miner. [volume] (Butte, Mont.) 1878-1881, 1881-04-12
SIDE DISHES.

Patrons Of the riDg-Expectant bride +
gro"ms.
Comets are wearing as long trains this
| season as usual.
Flowing locks--Those of canal--when
| they're opened.
Thought at a church fair-Faint pocket
book never captivated fair lady.
In early life, on the home farm, it is said
that Jay Gould's special chore was watering
the stock.-Hartford Courdnt.
Miss Braddon gets larger income from
her novels than any other novelist.
| Mrs. Mather. the inventor of the subma-
rine telescope, has received $4,000 for her
invention.
You can tell mercful farmer as soon a.
| he stops his team at post. He takes
the blar ket off his wife's lap and spreads il
over the poor horses.
| Pashence is good thing for man to haves
but when he haz got So much Ov it that he
can fish all day over the side of a boat, with
out eny bait on his hook laziness IL what's
the matter.-Josh Billings.
"Are sisters Sally and Nancy resources,
pap" "No, my bay; why do you ask that
auestion?' "Because heard Uncle Joe say
that if you would only husband your resource
es, you would get along great deal better
than you do. That's all, pa"
A young woman. applied at the relief bu-
reau IN Galveston the other day with paper
containing the foil wing: "This unfurtu-
nate woman is the only daughter of an old
and childless father, and supports several
young brothers by her work."
They had grand ball at Leadville to eel
ebrate Washington's birthday. Over four
hundred were present, six barrels of liquor
were consumed, and seven men killed in .
| Tro, E.rhk x,,l,s nh Huas lu mn onuA
The whole affair was very recherche, and
will be remembered as one Of the most de-
lightful social affairs that was ever enjoyed
by the best society of Leadyille.
gushing young ladv who purchased q
bottle of DR.. Quaque's Health Bitters-none
genuine unless the doctors name is blown ON
the wrapper, sent him the following testimo-
mall "Dear Doctor: q think your bitters are
too awfuly lovely! After taking half bottle
| could sleep until nine O'Clock in the morn
ing while ma was getting breakfast ready.
My health is too sweet for anything, and your
delightful medicines are Just too supremely
nce,'" etc.-Noristopn Herald.
The Baltimore American discovers that
Baltimore girls are the prettiest because OF
: the climate arl rood they eat. Ohio girls, ii
says. eat pork and sauerkraut; Massachusetts,
/ girls eat Goldfish balls; Virginia girls eat ba-
con and green's; the gulf states girls eat gum
DO, New Hampshire SlrlS edb apples anu
douehnuts and Kentucky girls eat blue grass
f beef and yet all of these are prettier than
the girls of Europe But the Baltimore girls
2 eat oysters, terrapin, [canvass back duck, bay
' mackerel and soft shell Crabs, all producslvt
4 of beauty.
S Young man, don't swear! Swearing nevel
5 was good for a sore finger. 1t never cured
t the rheumatism nor helped draw prize in I
d lottery. 1t isn't recommended for liver com
plant. 1T isn't sure against lightning, sew
s ing-machne agents. nor any OF the ills which
g beset people through life. There is no occa
= sion for swearing outside of a newspape
e office, where it is useful in proof reading ant
Ii ndespensibly necessary in getting the form
d to press. 1t has been known, also, TO materl
!. ally assist the editor in looking over the pa
e per after it is print ed. But otherwise it is
l. very foolish and Wi ,ked LIABILITY Washington
y Republic.
Il If a man wants to be reverenced in Calves
;, ton he should have come here 200 or so
IL years ago. a man who has lived in Calves
le ton only seventy-fve years is looked dow
u upon as an intruder. 1t IS impossible 10
i, one of the oldest inhabitants to sin. No
u long since new arrival in Galveston wa
Vi talking about the celebrated pirate, La6tte.
"He was an Internal old cut-thrOat, WASH
he?" queried the stranger.
"Oh, my!" said the Galveston man, turnin
as pale as piece of stale tripe ''tO use sue
w language about an old Galvestonian!' An
ID heckonlng teebly to street car, he wen
d home in pursuit of restora,ives.