The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1881-05-11

And whenever you see the poor dots
Say, Yes, we do care" and would be Great
If our lives should be spoiled by small faults.
-Harper's Young People.
Hard G and Soft G. Have a Disgraceful
Fight.
Many years ago, when the world was
Young, a man of mind began to gather En-
glish words together for the purpose of
making a dictionary. The learned man
worked in large room and the room con.
tanned twenty-six tables-each table serving
as desk for work beginning with some
one of the twenty-six letters Of the alphabet.
One night when the learned man was nod
ding over the "N q" he heard a strange
sound coming from the sc" table. The
learned man looked and listened. On one
side OF the table stood Hard g with his fists
doubled, and on the other side stood Soft q
in an attitude of defiance.
"Ahl hal a quarrel" exclaimed the
learned man, bending forward with keen
glance from his left eye and wink from
his right.
"Tm as jood as YOU" said Soft G; ain
your twin brother"
Listen at that nowI You're as .joodP
Whoever heard the likel Why don't you
say good like man and not like a little
baby7"
"Jood is right and you're a big jOose,
that's what you are" replied Soft q, angri-
ly.
"Sakes alive listen at him pronounce
goose joose'P' laughed Hard G.. II sup
pose you'll speak Of 'gauder' as lander
won't your"
YES, it is lander" said soft G; sand
now 10 way about your business"
you're no gentleman" said Hard g. pro-
nouncing the word gentleman" so harshly
that it sounded something like "kentleman,"
"PhewP' whistled Soft g. "listen at that
Why don't you say jentlemanT 1 fancy
that you would speak of that pretty flower.
the jeranium, as uranium
Indeed" answered hard G, "thst's just
what 1 would do; 1 would say the pretty
little girl has a pretty little giranium."
"Tut, tut" said soft G.; 81 would say; The
pretty little girl has apretty little jeranium. ."
"And L would furthermore saw" continued
Hard G., paying no attention to Soft G's last
remark, al would furthermore say: The
kentle and pretty little girl, who has pretty
little girsnium, studies BIOGRAPHY and
keometry'"
''This is the way would put it." replied
Soft G; '"the jentle and pretty little girl,
who has a pretty little jeranium, studies
BIOGRAPHY and Geometry, and she thinks Hard
Jee mean jsdiy, a gambler, a larbage cart
and fool. >"
"You would, would yep screamed Hard
G., now thoroughly angry; 'ycu re nothing
but y in disguise, anyhow, and I'll break
every bone IN your body" With that Hard
G ran across the table and struck at Soft G
with all his might But Soft G was spry
and, slipping aside so as to avoid the blow,
he hit Hard q on the head, knocking his
cap off.
''Nowr laughed Soft G, from the far cor
ner of the table.
800, DOL" groaned Hard g, for he was
small Hard now, having lost his capital.
But he made another rush for Soft G, only
to find that the latter had lodged. Hard
at last found his cap and again became
Hard G, after which the fight was renewed.
So furious did the battle rage that the whole
alphabet, from A down TO Il, ran over TO
see what was the matter and the learned
man was happy from his toes to the tip of
his ears.
San awful affair."" said Admiral A
"Curious, certainly" said Captain e.
"Mere madness" said Major NJ.
silly" said Sergeant S.
"Now, gentlemen" began Judge j, in a
quiet and dignifed manner, 'fet us settle
this dispute between the two G's. Admiral
A, which of the two CTS would you like to
come before your"
lizard G." replied the Admiral.
"And you, Mr.. E2'
"Soft g." replied the second vowel, and
so the questions were put and answered until
all the vowels had made their choice.
"In conclusion said Judge J, "let il be
understood that hereafter Hard G shall go
before a, o and u and frequently before
and y las will be specified in the coming
dictionary and the Soft G shall go before e.
and occasionally before and y. AS for the
consonants. whenever they need they
may take Hard G.. Is that satisfactory to
alIY'
adjusted and arranged as admirably as
anythingP answered Admiral A
''Conspicuousy clear easel cleverly COM
mencedp curt'sied Captain G..
"Most mastery management murmured
Major NJ.
sound settlement, "solemnly said Sergeant
s.
"Xactly," reclaimed x-legged Y.
And so Hard G and Soft G kissed and
made up, and from that day to this the twin
Gs have lived happily together. AS for the
learned man, be took notes of the curious
affair, and when he awoke the next morning
he found that he had been dreaming all
night at his desk and that he had actually
been scribbling in his sleep.