The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-11-03
A SLIGHT INDIsPosITIoN.
nr. spoepesdyEs at the Mercy Of Pill. and
Fruit.

'That's better" groaned Mr.. SpOopendyke, rs
his wife arranged the cool pillow under his head
snow can die looking ont upon the trees and
sky - and Mr. Spoopendyke assumed n resigned
expression of visage, and gazed out of the corner
of his eye upon bare ailanthus tree, and half
dozen telegraph wires.
sob! you won't die said Mrs. Spoopendyke,
cheerfully; you're only little sick, and you'll
get over it,"
THAT'S all you know about it, snarled Mr.
Spoopendyke. ''To hear you talk, would
think You only had to be fitted up with little
beds and n bad smell to he a Government hospi-
tai Pm down sick, tell We, and don't want
any fooling about it.'
dWell, well, y cooed Mrs. Spoopendyko, .sdon't
excite yourself. Eeep qnet, and you'll get
we'll"
"Much you'd care muttered Mr.. spoopen-
dyke, turning on his side, and resting his check
on his hand, an attitude generally assumed by
martyred spirits on the approach of dissolution.
'Will yen take your drops again, deari' asked
Mrs. Spoopcndyke. ats time for them.D
''No, won't. They're nasty. 1 haven't had
anything but drops for week. From the way
you administer drops, one would think you was
the trap-doof of hanging machine. Gimme
some figsn
'But there amt any figs, dear. I'll go and
get you some," said Mrs. Spoopendyke.
CHATS it," growled her husband. "You only
want an excuse to leave me to die alone. Why
haven't We got some fgsf You might know I'd
want figs. Got any citronf"
''NO, haven't any citron; but won't he more
than minute away, aud I'll get you any fruit
you WANT
80, yes; you'd get it, ] have no doubt. What
you want is q rail fcneo around yQl and gate
off the hinges to be dod- sasted orchard. Fetch
Inc some Strawberries
"Why, strawberries are out of season. There
amt any in the market, now
81 supposed you'd say that" moaned Mr..
Spoopendyke. 'You've always got some excuse.
Ii l should die, you'd have an apology ready.
Gimme something to take this taste out of my
| mouth"
Spoopendyke.
''Soap, dod CAST it, Gimme soap, if you can't
think of anything else," demanded Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke. 'Mebbe You amt got any soap. At least,
you couldn't have, if l wanted it. Got any
cherriesp
'.No; they arc ont of season. There are some
grapes in the closet"
''Don't want any measly grapes. If l can't
have have what want, don't want it. Where's
those drops' Why don't yOu give me my medi-
| cinel Going to let me die for want of a little
attention! Want the life insurance. don't ye
Going to gimme those drops before the next cleo
ton :"
Mrs. Spoopendyke ladled ont the dose, half OF
! which went down Mr.. Spoopendyke's gullet, and
| half over the front of his night-shirt.
THAT'S it," lie howled. ''Spill 'em. They're
for external application. Put 'em anywhere,
| Pour 'em up the chimney and Mr.. SpOppen-
| dyke fired the spoon across the room.
"Have a piece of orange to take the taste
away :" asked Mrs. Spoopendyke, pleasantly.
"No, won't" objected her spouse. "Gimme
| piece of mnskme!0n,"
| Il don't believe they have muskmelons in No
vember," sighed Mrs. Spoopendyke.
"Of course they don't" responded Mr.. SpOop-
endyke. ''They don't have anything when I'm
sick. It's wonder they have houses. It's a
| miracle that they have beds. Pm astonished to
| think they have doctors and drug stores. I've
got to hurry up and die, or they won't have any
| undertaiers, or collins, or graves. Gimme q
piece of orange, will YET S'pose I'm going to
lie here and chew the taste of those drops for
| a month";
'You'd like those grapes" suggested his wife.
''NO, wouldn't, either. What do you want
me to eat EN- fort Got any interest in the grape
| trade 7 Get any commission those grapes
| Anybody pay We to make me eat emf One
would think you only wanted an iron arbor and
fonr small boys climbing over you to be grape
vine. Where's my pill |,
avon took your pill, dear" replied his. patient
wife.
"Oh, of courseI pill is out of season. now.
! Can't even have n pill when feel like it," and
Mr.. Spoopendyke groahed in spirit, and looked
dismal. ''Now, sit down, and don't move;
want to sleep. Don't you make bit of noise, if
You want me to live"
And Mrs. SpOopendyke held her breath, and
never rlstled a feather, while her husband lay
| and glared out of the window for an hour and a
half-ErOOklgu EdgIe