davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1881-05-04
A Little Mixed

After one OF the battles in the late
war three Confederate officers of rank
came 10 10 the union lines TO negOliate
for An exchange Of prisoners. Three
Union officers were detailed to negotiate
with them. One day, while the COM
mission was in session an old gray
headed, gray-bearded Arkansas farmer
came in and asked:
is this the provo office?'
Some one attempted to explain, but
the old fellow being quite deaf did not
understand, and said:
Yes, Tm a good loyal citizen Pve
got my protection papers; Fve been and
got pay for my forage. Its all right.
Look here,' said Col. W, Of the
Union army, 'yod had better be careful
what you say about your loyalty; don't
you see those gentlemen over there"
pointing across the table to where the
Confederate officers sat in their gray
uniforms.
The old man took out pair Of dllapl-
dated spectacles, and fitting them on his
nose, closely examiu ed the gray uni
forms with their velvet collars and
brass stars. His hands trembled VIC
lently, aud he seemed quite frightened.
but he collected himself and said to the
Confederates:
well, gentlemen mean ne Offense.
1 don't know-fact il, Pve alias been
a Southern man. I've got one son,
and he's with Marmaduke. The O2ly
other man grown in my family that's
ft forsarvis is my dlrter Sallie's husband
and he's With Rector, aud
Hold on old fellow!' cried Col. W
=, what about your being a loyal
citizen?'
He looked at the other side OF the
table. then he adjusted bis spectacles,
scanned the blue coats, took his hand"
kerchief fromabout his neck, blew bis
nose, leaned both hands on the table
aud said:
well, gentlemen, this Is little mixed
but YOU lust 90 on aud fight it out among
yourselis. can live under an
g oyernme MT
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1881-05-04

ABOUT THE UEs.-People who
have TO work hard and struggle with
difficulties are rarely given to inventing
imaginary ones for themselves, THESE
mournful reflections on the vanity OF
life and the unsatisfying nature OF all
things sublunary, are luxuries for the
rich and idle to indulge in. How de-
H0hriul is the man or woman who per-
sisteutlv looks on the bright side OF
things Melancholy, like love, is not
ubfi eeuently 'lhe child Of idleness and
fulluess ofbread.' Sydney Smith gave
lady several recipes against melan-
choly. among which we remember was
kettle singing on the hob, paper oil
sweetmeats at hand, and recollection
of all the pleasant things ever said TO
her. We doubt the efficacy of the su'
gar.plsm BIS they are dyspepilc iare'
and no dyspepuc man was ever cheer
tul. We once met with recipe In
very old book (not Burton's 'Aant-
om,O, which we should be inclined le
put faith init is no small remedy
I,,gainst melancholy to rub ene's sell
over with nettles.' 1t would at lea'
be arousing.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1881-05-04

OF COURSE he REMEMBERED IT,
A good story is told on one OF our
prominent capitalists. In the old days he
was a poor boy and had to Work for his
living while other boys were at school.
When he came to mans estate, there
fore, he found himself a triae short in
spelling. He was a clear-hea ded.
brave-hearied man of business, how
ever, and he and his partner built thei'
business up to such proportions thai
tney had to buy fire proof safe. One
Combination word furnished them " th
the safe was boot One of the part
ners set the safe while the other was at
dinuer. When the latter came in he
tried to open the safe, but could do
nothing with it. He turned to his part
ner aud SAID;
Are you sure you set this safe by the
right word for the combinatiouP
Yes, & ,
The partner tried again, could do
nothing with the safe. Are you sure
o. used the right word?' he asked.
Hang take il, said his now exasper'
ated partner; of course l am. set il
b-u-t-d boot. 1 don't forget anything
in an hour!'
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1881-05-04
Keno.

4
While most of our travelling men.
lur conlmercial tourists. are nice gen.
temen. there is occasionally one who is
rs full of the Old Nick as an egg at
this time a year is full Of malaria.
There was one Of them stopped at a
country town few nights ago where
thefe was a church fair. He is
blonde, good-nalured looking, serious
talking man, and having stopped at
that town every month for a dozen
yeass. every body knows him. He al
ways CHIPS in towards a collection. a
wake. or rooster fight, and the town
'wears BY him. He attended the fair
| aud jolly little sister Of the chnrch.
a married lady, took him by tie hand
and led him Though green fields. where
the girls sold him ten cent chauces 10
sagdust dOlls, and beside still waters
where girl sold him swi etened water
Tor sour stomach tor lemonade, from
Rebecca's well. The sister finally
stood beside him while the deacon was
reading of numbers. They were draw
lag quilt, and as the numbers were
drawn all were anxious to know who
drew it. Finally after several num-
5ers were drawn, it was announced that
No. 10 drew the quilt, aud the little
sister turned TO the travelling man and
said My, that is my number. Ihaye
drawn it. What shall dog' Hold uu
your ticket and shout keno said he.
The little deaconess did not stop TO
think that there might be guile. lurking
in that travelling man, but full orjoy at
drawing the quilt and ice cream. because
the travelling man bought it, she rushed
into the crowd towards the deacon,
holding her ticket, and shouting 50 they
could hear II all oyer the house. 'kenov
Ii a bank had burst 10 tae building.
there couldn't have been so much as
tonishment. The deacon turned pale
and looked at the poor little sister as if
she had fallen from grace, and all the
church people looked at her sadly,
while the worldly minded people sHick-
cred. The little woman saw that she
had got her foot into something, and
she blushed and backed out, and asked
the travelling man what keno meant.
He sain he didn't know exactly, but he
always seen people when they won
anything at the game yell keno She
IS not exactly clear yet what keno is,
but she has sworn off on taking advice
from nice-looking travelling men. They
call ber Little Keno DOW.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1881-05-04

During the early summer Of 1864
while holding the Office of Vice-Presi
dent Of the United States, Hanniba
Hanlin spent few days at his home
10 Bangor, Me-, hoping to refresl
himself. But little rest was there.
On a morning in July Hannibal was
at work in his garden, with hoe in hand
dressed ia about as careless and primti'
a manner as we can conceive. His ha
was an old affair of native straw, home
made. the crown torn through and the
rim half gone; and the rest of his garb
was IN keeping. Thus was he when to
him appeared dapper, spruce youns
gentleman, in patent-leathers, yellor
kinds, and polished linen, with eye.
glasses and walking-stick.
Say old fellowI Are you at work fol
Han. Hanlln?'
The workman looked up leaning upon
his hoe handle, and wping the sweat
from his broad swart brow, he answer
ed:
'Ye-s-I am
'Well-where will 1 fud the old
cock:'
'D'you want to see him'
4 wish to see him very particularly.
Is be at home?'
i think he is. But you'd better go to
the house and inquire. What are you
wanting Of hIm?'
Look you, my knight of the hoe! Men
in your position shouldn't be too iuquis.-
tive. Itisn't polite
Excuse me sir. l mean no offence ,
And 1 took none, my ancient Titan.
Do you know who the Ttans wereY
I've read about 'em.'
No doubt. They were consigned to
Tartarus for rebelling against their
father
'Oho! There were rebels ID those days,
eh!'
Upon my word, thou art facetious.
mine ancient worthy. But, ere bid
thee farewell, let me give thee bit Of
advice. 1t is given freely, and with
pure intent: Look more carefully to
your toilet: Spruce up, old man! Au
reU0,r.'
Aud with this the youthful messenger
turned, and made his way to the house.
where be made known his wish, and
was invited into the sittins-room, while
one OF his girls looked up the Vice-Presi-
dent.
Mr.. George Armilage was from
Hamden, nuly eight miles distant down
the river, and ho had been commission
ed to call upon NJ. Hamlin, and if posi-
bic get BIN to come down and talk to
the people on national affairs. They
were recruiting for the army, and wan
ted general stirring up OF the entire
populace.
This he had told 10 the lady who
had kept him company during bis wait
ing, and be had just expressed the hope
chat the great man would not send him
away disappointed, when the door was
opened. and the lady said:
'Ah! here be is TO answer for himself!
This is Vice President Hamllu. sir =
The young exquisite looked up, and
%. horror If horrors before him
stood his knight OF the hoe-his Ancient
Titan-his facetious worthy of the gar
den.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1881-05-04
P OETiC AL.
FAREWELL.


The boat went drifting, drifting, over the sleeping
sea,
And the man that loved the dearest sat in the
boat with me.
The shadow Of coming parting hung over the great
gray swell,
Aud the winds that swept across it sobbed only,
farewell.
The boat went drifting, drifting, the lingering
northern light;
And the fice that loved the dearest paled with
the paling light.
We strove to Join light laughter; We stroye to wake
jest;
But the voice that loved the dearest rang sadly
mid the rest.
The boat went drifting, drifting, while the dull
SKY lowered down,
And the ragged rims of thunder gave the rocky
head a crown.
The boat went drifting, drifting while to tho dark
ened sky,
For the man that I loved the dearest, the prayer
rose silently.
Oh, true, strorg hand touch no more; brave
smile may not see
VIII the God who governs tide and time bring
him back to my life and me?
ALL the Year Round.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1881-05-04

If YOU take this step Richard, she con-
tlnued. Il am confident you will see a
vast difference win that careless, ig-
norant child at the head Of your house,
hold, for / shall not remain to be
domineered over by saucy, indepen-
dent girl'
Mr.. Delmayne made no reply to this
remark ; but it was evident that his
sister-ln Jaws determination would not
break his heart.
Dot stood by the window in the
deepering twilight, awaiting her guar
dian, who had been absent several
days looking after some property in
New York.
Suddenly Dot was aroused from the
reverie into which she had fallen by a
well-known step,- and she ran eagerly to
the door to admit her guardian.
We'll, puss, what have you been
doing during my absence 2 asked Mr..
Delmayne, as he seated himself before
the glowing crate aud warmed bis
chilled fingers.
Oh, dearp cried Dot, L have been
shocklncly bad. can't remember one
half the wickedness l have committed.
You must apply 10 madame for the
details she has 4 long black list of mis-
demeanors ready for your private ear;
but, Guardy, did you succeed in finding
husband for me p
Yes answered Mr.. DelmaJne
composedly, but whether you will be
suited, remains 10 be seem
Il suppose shall be compelled to
marry him whether l shall or no. re-
joined Dot, mernly.
Not by any meaus,' answered the
guardian, gravrly.
oh, that is decidedly commonplace
you are not at all like the cruel guar
dlans 10 stories, who compel their
wretched wards to wed the one they
Choose for them. am quite disappoin-
ted.
oh, very well, said Mr.. Delmayne,
IT you wish NE to assums the role Of
.yrant, l will do so with pleasure. The
person | have chosen will, l am sure.
strive to make you happy; but remem-
Der there is to BE- no appeal from my
decision.'
Ttis really going to be romantic
after ALL cried DIT, clapping her
hands; but when am I to be presented
to my iate' Now ifhe had only sent his
photograph, the affair would be COM
plete.'
4 believe have it, said Mr..
Delmayne, cody producing bis pocket
book.
Dot glanced curiously at the carte de
risite which he passed TO her, and be-
held the handsome face of her guardian.
WELL said he, and trying to look
into her doUncast eyes.
Dot lid her face for a moment on
her guardians shoulder, then, looking
up with a charming color, she said,
demurely:
AS there Is TO be no appeal from
your decision, suppose l must sub
NIT.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1881-05-04

A certain lawyer always begins his ex !,
animation of a witness by saying, I'm
going TO put a question to you, and [
don't care how you answer IT, Thi
habit was so strong that one day be
met very dear friend, and said I'm
going to put a question TO you, and I
don't care how you answer it. How
10 you do.'
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1881-05-04

A new invention is reported from
Turin. 1t consists 10 the application oi
hght-giviug materials to printing ink'oy
which the print becomes luminous IN
the dark, so that, in future. it will be
oossible 70 read at night in bed, or dur
ing aioumey. wilbouta the assistance o.
candle or lamp. Anew iaiiy paper 10
which this luniinoos material will ee
used. i. 1. i said, ,abSuisto be published
at Turin. ss. Is afsis .T..y - SER -.
lar = = T-''''--f -
Perhaps ltis'cdlsd The upper crust
because YOU have to passitto get to Tx
real meat and strength Of society.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1881-05-04

The steam cars run so rapidly that
they get way ahead Of q chi!ds age, so
that the boy or girl who was Is when
he entered them is TO more than 6 or 8
by the time the conductor comes along.
Boast OF our progress as you may,
there's no denying that the children are
behind the age on railways and at the
entertainment ticket Office. ,orI.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1881-05-04
SHENANDOAH HERALD
Advertising Rafess

Advertisements will be inserted at One Dolls
er quare Of ten lines, or less, for the rst insss
'on' and 50 cents for each subsequent insertion
unless the number Of Insertions be marked M
tie manuscript, It win be published until forbid
aadcbarsed accordingly.
\otice' in the local column Will be inssrtsso
t'ucents per line, each insertion
advertisements for three months or lonsrs
b'inserted at lower rates.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1881-05-04

Don't waste your time in clipping
of the branches, but lay your axe at
the root Of the tree.' said the woodman
to bis son. And the young maa went
out and laid his axe at the foot of the
tree, like good and dudful boy, and
then went fishing. fs
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1881-05-04

New Workers pay higher salaries 70
clergymen than does any other city.
But then it's a heap more work to save
New Yorker than any other man.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1881-05-04

olCSome one has aptly compared mar
row .mipded people to small-necked
tonles. because the less they have in
them. the more noise they make ID
pouring 1t out.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1881-05-04

There are ssyen men who believe tue
present President IS greater even than
George Washington. i They are all
members of The new Cabinef.L eo 50
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1881-05-04

The tramp travels on railroads free
of charge, but be often gets hurt II be
isn't quick in stepplng off the track
when he sees train coming. 1.r
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1881-05-04

Wealth IN this world is just 50 much
bacuoUe to be taken care Of but cul-
,ivated brain is easy 10 carry, and is a
seyer-falling source Of profit and pleas
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1881-05-04

Marriage is a good thing, provided
the party OF the first part thinks exactly
as The party Of the second part wants
him 10 do.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1881-05-04

Should tbe tax be iaken otr matche,
young man viii not be compelled .
borrow IS to pay the parson.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1881-05-04
NoTARIES PUBLIC.
.,UsrlcEs OF THE PEACE.

n.v,s n,sr-pr. G. A. Brown, obed Funk Sna
jas; D H. Grsbil, EicOfel' snoWoen
whitaker. sa. Martin Strickler
LSW.r,soN.-samuel C. CampoeH 'aineS -
Cofman, samuel Rinker. ., u,r.,ree Jacob
XsgpY.2sami. Hsmmsn, Samuel Atngree' ''0O'
r. N,leI christisn shirley, D. P. zirkle John H.
Pence. HHr| FIJI
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1881-05-04
"Jesrs loves me this know,
For the Plbls tells rue 50,
Little ones to him belong
we are weak, but He is strong"

And when it was all over, and only
the memory remained of so much beau
tv and sweetness, and our hearts were
eoino hack 10 the dust and ashes OF un-
belief. our good neighbor came like an
evangelist, and giving as of her own
brave strength, gained at the foot oil
the cross. said, wisely;
BE content. God has only borrowed
the babyp
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1881-02-25
CAPITAL CULl.INGS.
MIR. Carpenter Not a Cre,nationis:.

MIR. Carpenter Not a Cremationis:.
WASHINGTON, Feb. 25.-Tke statemei Il
to the effect that Senator Carpenters last
wish was that his remains should be ere
mated is pronounced incorrect. His
family authorize the statement that thu
senator had always expressed himself a:
being opposed to cremation.
To sSuy Bonds.
The United State, assistant treasurer at
New York has been authorized to p,lr-
chase for the sinking fund five or six pei
cent. uncalled bonds OF 1881 to al amount
not exceeding SIS, ,OOO, 900 paying l,ar and
interest accrued to date Of payment.
The Funding Isili.
The ways and means committee will
hold q special session tomorrow 10 con-
slider the funding bill.
The apportionment Iii Deadlock.
The committee of five representatives
from each political party to confer upon
the apportionment bill with i view to
u compromise were unable to
agee AID adjourned until this evening.
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1881-02-25

Jo!t" s. C.,Ic-Mr. Clarke will appear lis
the ficrccly war,ike Major Wellington De-
Boots. Mr. Clarke once played this part nearly
an entire season in New York, and has revived
1t there many times since. lie also played it
for 4 very long period in London, where it
still attracts very large audiences, during Mr..
Cl;;rlscs frequent engagements il the English
comedian OF the present time. In the company
to appear here with j. S. Clarke on Monday
night, is Mr.. W. IL. Vernon, q distinguished
London favOritc, who will star through this
country in his own plays, commencing in 4
few weeks at Booths, New York. Mrs. Farren,
who represents the old woman in the plays
formerly one of the most popular Of the
dramatic stars. She once played for fifty con-
sccutivc nights 1T the Arch Street theatre,
Philadelphia, with great profit TO the man.
ayers. an,l the theatre was decorated and bril-
lian:ly illuminated on the fifticth night Mr..
w. f. Chapman. also q member ot Mr.. Clarkes
company, was the low comedian of the Walnut
Street theatre for many years. He created
many OF the comedy characters in this coun-
try. was the original representative OF AugHs-
tus in the Willow COpsc,' and in this chtrac
ter he won great popularity. Iii the standard
comedies he is one OF the best actors to-day.
and the papers give great praise to his Lord
Dubcrly Miss Marie Booth, also member of
this company, is lovely girl, and until re.
Gently was pupil at Notre Dame academy.
She is niece of Edwin Booth.
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1881-02-25
.AIATI;IMOSIAL.
Notable Wet!iin. "a Easton.

the event in EaSton yesterday was the
marriage of Miss Kate X. Porter, daugh
ter of Rev. DR.. Il. c. Porter, professor at
Lafayette college ana pastor O.: the Third
stree: Reformed church, Easton, formerly
Of this city, to Rev. Samuel \. Martin, iii
charge Of Presbyterian church near Bal
timorc. The venerable Dir. J. W. Neyin.
OF Lancaster, performed the ceremony, as
sisted by the brides father. The marriage
took place in the church. which was
crowded with friends and relatives. The
t.shcrs we're Professor ". i. Owen. Of
Lafayette college, George kunkcl. of Har-
risbWg, John Baker, Of Easton, Harry
Gross, Of Harrisburg, Montgomery Evans,
esq. Of Norristown, and David Martin,
esq, of Pittsburgh. Many guests from !,
distance were present, and the bride re-
ceived a very large collection Of handsome
presents.
In the pres:ucc O: a brilliant company OF
guests and amid social features Of q. rare
order in Reading yesterday, Miss Helena
daughter OF Henry S. Ec,lcrt, and I, young
lady wcli-known in Lancaster, was mar
ried to NJ. Meigs, chief draughtsman in
that city of the p. & Il. railroad, and son
of Rev. DR.. MeiyS, n famous divine.
In York yesterday Edward D. Bentzcl,
esq, attorney -at-law, and Miss Ida Kate
WHEREBY, daughter Of Mr.. Geo. Whereby
formerly of Lancaster, Proprietor of the
Gindcr house, adjoining the court house,
were united in holy bonds of matrimony.
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1881-02-25

The barn o: Seth Graybill, near Penn
Vile, burned on Monday night, was an
almost new structure, to which were at
tached a wagon shed, horse power sbct!
and hog sty. The following was the live
stock and contents destroyed -Four horses,
3 colts, 6 steers, 4 head Of young cattle. )
COWS, : hogs, $50 bushels of wheat, 400
bushels of oats, about 4 acres Of tobacco,
hay and straw and all the farming imple
ments. There was an insurance OF s.. 900
in the Penn Township fire insurance COM
pany. Only a year ago Mr.. Graybiil had
his insurance policy reduced from $G,Coo
to 81, 900 on account OF heavy assessments.
Il is the general opinion that the fire was
tie work of an incendiary ard strong sus-
pieion rests upon a man living not a hun
.dred miles from the ruins, the L!tiz Rec-
ord says.
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1881-02-25
MIR, MASON DECLINES.
And Desires il to be so Statct
PEoCEA. Pa, Feb. "a.

PEoCEA. Pa. Feb. S4.
Editors Infei!i9encer:
DEAR SIRs-Your statement in the
weekly INTELLIcENCER, Of this week, that
I am candidate for the Democratic Eomi
nation for county commissioner, IS entirely
unauthorized. Under no consideration
will l permit my name to bc used in that
connection. and desire you 50 to STATE to
your readers. Respectfully yours,
JOnS MAsoN.
TMr, Mason makes Ri ''entircly u!au-
thorizcd'' statement when lie says that the
INrEILlGENcER has published 4 statement
that he is "a candidate forehe Democratic
nomination for county commissioner. No
such statement has appeared in its col
umns. 1t has been published that Mr.
Mason's name has been g mentioned :nr
this nomination. SO it has, several times
recently, TO the writer of this article by
prominent Republicans and Democrats.
All the same, we chcerful!y publish Mr..
Mason's respectful and peremptory dec
lination aud will take care to see that his
name is not again mentioned liz this
connection in the INTELL1CENCER.--R
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1881-02-25

To-day about noon Il rather ludicrous
accident occurred on Lemon street near the
cemetery. y man was driving with a
horse and wagon, having calf tied lying
in the bed OF the wagon and 4 cow tied be-
hind. The COW became stubborn and re-
fused to follow. whercupon the halter was
united, the man supposing she would fol-
low the wagon for the sake Of the calf.
She did mere than that after jumping up
behind the wagon several times, she came
alongside and sprang with her fore feet
into it. Getting her sect between the
spokcs Of the wheel she upset the wagon,
threw out the driver and tho calf and was
dragged by the horse for some distance
with her legs tangled in the wheels. For
tunatcly neither driver, horse, COW or calf
were much hurt By the accident