davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1881-07-04
BROTHER GARDNER FINDS
NO ESSENTIAL CHANGES
TT THE NEW TES-
TAMENT.

81 take pleasure an satisfaction"
said the President as he held up a par
eel, sin informin' you that worthy cit
izen of Detroit, who does not car to
have his name menshun'd, has present.
ed dis revised edishun of de Bible to de
Lime Kiln Club. We do not open our
meetins wild prayer, nor do We close by
singin' de Doxoloby, but neberdeless |
am snah dis gift will be highly appre-
shiated by all. Oar has bin considuble
talk in dis club about dis revised edish-
un. Some of you hab got de ideah dat
purgatory has all been wiped out an
heaben enlarged twice ober. an have
heard odders assert dat it didn't forbid
lyin', stealin', an passin' off bad money.
My friends, you am sadly mistaken.
He'll is jlst as cher, an heaben hasn't
got any mo- room. In lookin' ober de
some of the changes las night, ] select
ed few paragraphs which hab giner-
al BARN. Fur instance, it am jist as
wicked to steal watermellons as it was
las var an de var befo', au' de skeerc-
er de crap de bigger de wickedness.
No change has bin made in regard to
loafn' aroun' de streets. De loafer am
considered jist as mean an low as eber
he was, an l want to add my belief dat
he will grow meaner in public estima-
shun sll dc time.
De ten commandments am all down
heah widout change. Stealth an lyin'
an covetin' an runnin' out nights am
considered jist as bad as eber.
can't find any paragraph in which
men am excused from payin' deir honest
debts an supportin deir families.
can't find whar poo man or poo
mans wife. white or black, am 'spected
to sling on any particler style.
Dog fights, chicken liftin'. polyticks,
playin' keerds fur money, an hangin'
aroun' fur drinks, and all sich low biz
ness am considered meaner dan eber.
Fact is, | can't fin any change wbateber
which lets up on man from bein' plumb
up an down squar' an honest wild de
world. Dey have changed de word
He'll to 'Hades. but at de same time
added to de strength of de brimstun an
de size of de pit, an We want to keep
right on in de straight path if we would
avoid it. Doan' let any white man
make you believe dat we's lost any Cos
pei by dis revision. or dat Peter or Paul
or Moses hab undergone any change Of
sperrit regardin' de ways OBJ ibin' re-
specially. an dyin' honorably.-Detroit
Free Press.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1881-07-04
A FATHER WHO MELTED.

The other evening citizen of Detroit
beckoned to his l2-year old son to follow
him to the woodshed, and when they had
arrived there he began:
Now young man. you have been fight
ing again How many times have told
you it was disgraceful to fight?
Oh, father, this wasn't about marbles
or anything of the kind. replied the boy.
l can't help it. AS christian man it
is my duty to bring up my children to
fear the Lord. Take off your coat.
He said l was the son of wire-puller.
What what's that?
And he said you was an office hunter
What what loafer dared make the as
sertion +?
1t made me awful mad but | didn't say
anything. Then he called you hireling
Called me hireling Why I'd like to
get my hands on him, puffed the old gent
Yes, and he said you was a political
lick-spittle.
Land o gracious but wouldn't like
to have the training of that boy for about
five minutes wheezed the old man as he
hoped around.
put up with that continued the boy
and then he said you laid your pipes for
Office and got left by large majority.
| couldn't stand that, father, and so I
sailed over the fence and licked him bald
headed in less than two minutes Thrash
me if you must, father. but could not
stand it to hear you abused by one of
the malignant opposition
My son, said the father as he felt for
halfa dollar with one hand and wiped bis
eyes with the other, you may go and buy
yourself two pounds of candy. The Bible
says it is wrong to fight. but the Bible
must make allowance for political cam
paigns and the vile ISLANDERS of the other
party.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1881-07-04

constituted. clever woman has decided
ly the advantage over a clever man.
Decorative art" opens many new fields
of enterprise to ladies. Wood carving
is new avenue of employment for them
and peculiarly we'll adapted to the del
lcacy of touch and artistic taste of wom-
an. One woman wood carver in st. Lou
is is SO expert that last year she earned
$4,000. The decoration of pottery, chi
ma painting aud the painting of tapestry
and dresses are some of the new fields
which fair hands are working to great
advantage.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1881-07-04
LIFE'S TRUE SIGNIFICANCE.

Deeper than all sense of seeing
Lies the secret source of being.
And the soul with truth agreeing
Learns to live in thoughts and deeds
For the life is more than raiment,
And the earth is pledged for payment
Unto man for all his needs.
Nature is our common mother.
Every living man our brother,
Therefore let us serve each other;
Not to meet the laws behests,
But because through cheerful giving
We shall learn the art of living;
And to live and serve is best.
Life is more than what man fancies!
Not game of idle chances;
But it steadily advances
Up the ragged height of time.
Till each complex web of trouble,
Every sad hopes broken bubble,
Hath meaning most sublime.
More of religion, less profession
More of frmness. less concession;
More Of freedom. less oppression.
In the church and in the state;
More of life and less of fashion;
More of love and less of passion;
That will make us good and great.
When true hearts, divinely gifted,
From the chaff of error sifted,
On their crosses are uplifted,
Shall the world most clearly see
That earth's greatest time of trial
Calls for holy selfdenial,
Calls on men to do and be.
But forever and forever
Let it be the souls endeavor
Love from hatred to dissever,
And in whatso'er we do.
Won by loves eternal beauty,
To our highest sense of duty
Evermore be firm and true.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1881-07-04

The Herald says there are $4,000
women, not including domestics, in New
York who are self-supporting. The pro-
fessions have been captured-not with
out a struggle-by women. There are
several successful and highly respected
female ministers of the Gospel. There
is one famous as well as pretty female
lawyer. One of the ablest physicians in
New York is woman-herself the wife
and in every way the professional equal
of her we'll known husband. There are
female reporters. female critics (and con-
scientious ones) and several editresses of
papers. One of the leading illustrated
family papers of this country has fe-
male editor. while in art and literature
women are not only holding their own.
but in some cases are crowding the men
to the wall. The dramatic profession is
today emphatically and undeniably .'the
woman's profession. In it, as at present
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1881-07-04

RELIEF FROM NEURALGIA.-A gentle
man who had suffered from severe attack
of neuralgia, writes 'sIf / had not Com
pound Oxygen to resort to the last six
days, don't know how would have got
ten through. Had neuralgia one day in
face and head, but found, by increasing
times of inhalation, prompt remedy
Treaties on Compound Oxygen sent free.
Drs. Starkey & Palen, 1109 and I'LL Cir
ard Street, Philadelphia, Pa.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1881-07-04

The other night policeman observed
a man hanging around the entrance to
Michigan Avenue hall in queer sort of
way, and asked him if he belonged to
the order then in session up stairs. The
man replied that he did. and the officer
inquired:
"Then why don't you 60 up"
"Well. l was thinking of il"
"Haven't been expelled, have you?'
''Oh, no."
"Aren't afraid of anybody ?"
mo"
"And you haven't lost your interest p
al might as we'll tell you. said the
man, after beating around a while longer.
81 went down to Toledo few days ago.
and somehow the story came back that
| was drowned. My lodge thereupon
passed resolutions to the effect that |
was honest. upright and liberal and
shining ornament, and that what was its
loss was my gain. wasn't drowned. as
you see. but kind o, hate to walk In on
'em and bust those resolutions. I've tried
it three times. and cant get higher
than the fifth stair before | weaken"
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1881-07-04

The boy who left the piece of ice in the
sun to warm up was no more foolish than
the man who opened the store and ex-
pected the people to hunt him out and
buy his goods without advertising.
Glass in history: Teacher-"Who was
the hero of Cowpens?" An awful silence
follows, which is at last broken by the
little snub-nosed boy in the back row, who
cries in a piping voice, 'tSitting Bull"
A youth who attended a Scotch revival
meeting for the fun of the thing ironically
inquired of the minister s'whether he
could work a miracle or not" The young
mans curiosity was entirely satisfied by
the minister kicking him out of the church,
with the malediction, s'We cannot work
miracles, but we can cast out devils'
'tMother," remarked Duluth girl, 81
think Harry must be going to propose to
me-" "Why so, my daughter?" queried
the old lady, laying down her spectacles,
while her face beamed like the moon in it's
fourteenth night. ''Well, he asked me
this evening if I wasn't tired of living
with such a menagerie as you and dad
Michigan editor returned an annual
pass which he held, explaining that he
could not conscientiously give favorable
notice of Sunday excursion on that
road; but the railroad manager returned
the pass, saying Michigan editor with a
conscience was an object Of such extreme
rarity that he was clearly entitled to a
pass.
Neither of them was over ten years old.
One leaned against the fence, and the
other rubbed his back against lamp
post, and they eyed each other for a long
time. Then one of them said, 'sMy moth
er has got a new sealskin sacque, and
yours hain't." II don't care, replied the
other. "She frizzes her hair and uses
paint, and that's just as tony"
young man who lives in Austin, and
whose mustache is, like faith, "the evi-
dence of things hoped for, the subtance
of things notyet SEEN" "called on his pros
pective father-in-law, and gave notice that
he intended marrying the old gentleman's
daughter at an early date. sit had bet
ter take place on some Saturday, so that it
will not interfere with your school hours,
sarcastically remarked the old man.
The chaplain of the Illinois legislature
prayed that God would give the members
ssmore wisdom and greater promptitude.
The Maine chaplain, during the recent
deadlock, cried OUT go Lord! have com.
passiod ON our bewildered Representatives
and senators. They have been sitting
and sitting, and have Matched nothing
o Lord let them arise from their nests
and go home, and all the praise shall bt
Thine" The Pennsylvania chaplain re
Gently prayed, "Give these lawmakers
O God, more brains-more brains-mort
brains! s!'
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1881-07-04
Itching Piles Symptoms and Cure.

Itching s-Symptoms and Cure.
The symptoms are moisture, like per-
spiration, intense itching, increased by
scratching, very distressing, particularly
at night, as if pin worms were crawling
in and about the rectum; the private parts
are sometimes affected; if allowed to con-
tinue very serious results may follow.
ssDR. SWAYNE'S ALL-HEALING OINTMENT
is pleasant sure cure. Also for letter,
itch, salt rheum, scald head, erysipelas,
barber's itch, blotches, all scaly, crusty,
cutaneous eruptions. Price SO cents 5
boxes for $1.25. Sent by mail to any ad-
dress ON receipt of price in currency, or
three cent postage stamps. Prepared only
by DR. Swayne Son, $50 North Sixth St.,
Philadelphia, Pa, to whom letters should
be addressed. Sold by all prominent
druggists. Ally
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1881-07-04
THE LAND OF NOD.

Last night went to the Land of Nod;
What do you think saw there?
Why all the babies in all the world
Yellow-harea dark-haired. frowzy and curled;
Some black some tawny some fair.
"What is the way there?" On and on
Over the velvety sod;
First you go up, and then you 60 down,
And you come in to Shut-eye town,
Away in the Land of Nod.
The houses are made ofjujube paste.
And the doors Of plum-cake sliced;
And if you are hungry by day or night.
You may go to the door and nibble bite
All plummy and iced and spiced.
The fountains. you know. run lemonade
And their playing, it never stops;
And whenever it rains in that fortunate town,
Torrents of honey and cream come down,
And lemon and chocolate drops.
Oh. it SHOWS white sugar and pink ice-cream,
And it freezes lemon-ice!
Tall sugar-loaf hills all around you see.
And cookies and tarts grow on every tree
And they taste remarkably nice.
"Tell you some more?" Oh, 1 haven't the time;
But may be if each little elf
Will run and climb into mammals lap,
And cudde right down for forty-w -wink's nap,
He may see the land himself. -Narsery.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1881-07-04
WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO YOU
IF YOU LIVE TO BE OLD.

You will at first be surprised to hear
yourself called an old man, or '.the old
gentleman. This you will soon begin to
consider as token of respect, but when
BY the way of insult, you are called "old
dad" BY insolent boys, you will long to see
the bear coming out of the woods.
No, am not an old man, will be your
unspoken thoughts. | can walk. run and
jump, which latter an old man cannot do
[ have good appetite. good eyesight, good
digestion, hear we'll, sleep we'll, and enjoy
life. True, there are some gray hairs and
some wrinkles, but what of that? Others
have the same that have never INDUCED
the thought of being old. why, there is
my neighbor,he is nearly ten years older
than l he is engaged in active business
with full as much anxiety and industry
as his sons. True be wears spectacles,
SO do many younger men or even myself
but that is simply an infrmity of sight
account. And SO you will argue from
year to year, trying to convince yourself
that you are not an old man. not even
failing; not much. not much.
But at last you will be compelled to
acknowledge that your joints are a little
too stiff. that you get weary with little
extra exeration, and. finally. that you
get very tired. You hold your book at an
inconvenient distance. your newspapers is
blurred. and'you conclude to submit to
wearing spectacles at first the fashionable
prince nez, but eventually this is not so
convenient, and as you have made up
your mind to agree with your friends that
you are in reality an old man, you adopt
the old-fashioned bow spectacles.
Time goes on. weariness increases,
spectacles must be changed. partial bald
ness comes, hearing is caprieious, not
really deafness, but an inability to dis
tinguish between the words spoken to
you; your hair has lost its gray and
put on the white, your hands are a
bunch of wrinkles and veins, your face
has lost its color and your flesh has
shrunken and weight diminishes. You
fall and are hardly able to rise. the
slight moisture naturally exuding from
the skin has nearly dried up, and for
the want of the friction that it should
afford, things drop from your hands
despite your clutch. You incline for
ward either in standing, walking or sit
ting; you try to counteract this attitude
of decripitude and to stand erect. but
the cartilages that have held the joints
in proper shape have shruuken on one
side from unnatural pressure and will
not let you up.
Ambition fails, memory is treacher-
Gus. the tongue does not obey volition,
and you fall over the least obstruction,
and finally you are ready to say with
the immortal poet. ''sans teeth. sans
eyes. sans taste, sans everything"
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1881-07-04

Colonel Cash, the scion Of South
Carolina chivalry who quarrellcd with
friend and murdered him in duel, has
been acquitted. The duel excited COL
siderably feeling in the State. and there
was a wholesome effort made by some of
the newspapers to arouse such a public
sentiment against the criminal as would
lead to his punishment. Nothing came
of this effort. however. 1t was perhaps
too much to expect that South Carolina
jury would hang a high-toned Southern
gentleman, no matter how lnexcusable
a crime he might commit. The shooting
of Shannon was premeditated murder.
Cash challenged him to fight for the pur-
pose of killing him. The fact that he
accomplished this purpose under the IL
legal and barbarous forms of duel does
not detract in the least from his Grimm
ality. ii- e4.f
Minnesota stats tidning. (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1877-1882, 1881-01-27

Lagoon angdende tidningar och It'd
skrffter F8renta Staterna.
H. Prenumeranter, som q uttly tlycktgen
tililzuuagifva motsatsen, anses toztsafta pre-
numerau men.
q Tllssger pranumeranten, att han 81
langre 5nskar hatva hdningen, ar utgiivaren
dock berattigad att skicka densamma, tills all
prenumerati0nsskuld Or fbetalad.
g.. Underiater prenumefant att Ahemta
tidningen fran slit postkontor eller nekar han
att emottaga den, &r han Hkval ansvar19 f0r
priset darS. anda tills han gAldat al skuld till
fidningen. ooh dRrefter be0rdrat dess upph6-
ande
y. Prenpmerant, som andrar bostad utan
att anderratta utgifvaren hxrom, och salunda
fortfarande Rter tldningen szndas till den ur-
sDrungilga adressen, Or forthfande ansvarig
t0I denSamma.
s.. Rtsklliga domstolar hafva faststallt,
att 'nekande att pa postkontoret emottaga
sln tidning, uraktlatelse att afhemta densam-
ma, eller borthyttning fran often utan att un-
derratta utgifvaren. b6r anses och bestsafas
sasom uppsat till svek och bedragen."
g.. Rn hvar, som emottsger ooh begagnar-
en- tidning, betraktas enligt lag s8som prenu-
merant, antingen han beordrat tdningen ell
Ter ej
". Betalar prenumerant f6rskott, ar han
skyldig at vid prenumerationstiden slut un-
derratta htgifvaren. / hAndelse han q tortfa-
rande viii bibehalla hdningen. Uraktl8tsr
han delta, eyer utgifvaren raft att hamgent
sanda tidningen, och prenumeranten halles
ansvarig, anda tills han uthyokligen afsagt Gg
densamma, ooh pa samma gang inbetalt ALA
resteranle atgitter.
Minnesota stats tidning. (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1877-1882, 1881-01-27

Da framsk0t On ljungande blixt frar
engelns panna och han nedkallade
straffets hand ofver jordens skuld
belastade slagten.
I'm askknall lik danet af tusen ka.
noner !brakade genom rymden d. jag
slot 6gonen af f6rskrackelse.
Men mar jag ater 6ppnade dem, ,huru
uhderbazt!
De forna djuren voro f6rvandlade
till msnniskor och de forna menni-
skorna voro dur, dock bibehallande
minnet och sina menskliga kanslor.
Drangen stretade Snu pustande franz
for plogen, hans here snafvade fran.
for h6lasset, sonen var torndyfvel och
hustrun hangde som en- halfd6d al pa
vaggen. stadens akardrangar gingo
ALA for de tunga lassen och de mark.
-nadsasnde b0nderna jagades at sina
forna dragare, som ingalunda sparade
piskan eller de harda ryckningarna
t6mmarne.
Och hvart engeln sedan giok, for.
vandlade han ALA stora och sma dur
plagare till dur och djuren till men,
niskor. Kreaturens suckan upph0r-
de, men genom hela skapelsen ALT
fran englarna kring Guds stol till den
i jorden kralande masken h6rdes en-.
dast gladjens jubelrop, ty verldens
storste plagoande hade fatt sittstraff.
Full af beundran, b6jde jag kna,
utropande: stora och maktiga aro
dina verk, HERE "a. G.)
Minnesota stats tidning. (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1877-1882, 1881-01-27

A. F.. j. fran Stilluater fragar +:
En- emigrant som kom hit f6rliden
sommar med american Line" till
Philadelphia f6rlorade sin "trunk." I"
"Trunken" blef beh6rigen markt i
G6teborg i likhet med de 6friga.
Sist mannen sag sin "trunk" var i
Liverpool. Mannen har skrifvit till
Philadelphia (Peter Wright & Son
agents) och till Sverige och ALT utan
resultat. Philadelphia-agenten har
ock skrifvit till Liverpool tva ganger,
och nu till sist sager han sig villa
hjelpa till att h6ra efter men will in.
tet ansvar iklada sig. "Trunken'
med innehall varderas till $107. Nog.
gram beskrifning och innehallsf0r'
teckning har sandts tva ganger pa be-
garan. Mannens kontrakt visade att
"American Line Co." deponerat en-
viss summa penningar hos syenska
regeringen sasom sakerhet att ALA
f6rbindelser till emigranten ma upp'
fylla.. Till hvem skall man ! denna
SAX nu wanda sig for att fa ratt!
Man Dor wanda sig till II. Sahlgaard,
svensk konsul, St. Paul, MINI. Bola
get ar ansyarigt for baggaget.
Minnesota stats tidning. (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1877-1882, 1881-01-27

pucinermunk pa hvad satt djefvulen
pa 1300-talet besatte en- nunna for att
hindra henne ifran att bega nattvar.
den. Den stackars human rakade
pl6tsligt / frenetiskt raseri, gjorde un.
der 6ere timmar de vidunderligaste
lindansarsprang under de oheligaste
atb0rder och skrik, hvilket den be-
skedlige pattern om6jligen kunde for.
sta vara annat an djefvulens verk.
Pa det storartade hospitalet Salpie.
tire Paris hafva nu en- It'd bortat de
sorgfalligaste observationer f0retagits
6fver dylika sjukdomsfenomen, och
man har kommit till det resultat, att
hvad den okunniga forntiden kallade
for att vara besatt af djefvulen, ar
just den kropps- och sjalsjukdom, som
den nutida vetenskapen benamner by.
sterisk epilepsi .eller den svaraste
graden af hYsteri. Haraf kan man
f6rklara, hvaraf det kom sig att det
mestadels var qvinnor (hexer), som
foretogo Blakullafarder och stodo de
beryktade f6rbindelserna med m6rk.
rets rike. Det ar f6rnamligast de,
som aro utsatta for de f6rskrackliga
nervsjukdomar, hvilka yttra sig dy.
lika fenomen. Ett drag ar afven
markvardigt. Det ar bekant, huru-
som de anklagade 8. k. hexorna ofta
framf6rde de fabelaktigaste historier
och bekannelseE ON sig sjelfva och
sin hemliga f6rbindelse med m6rkrets
rike. Det ar just cit af de egendom
ligaste Psychological dragon hos dem
ma art af hysteri, att den ar f6renad
med en- hejdl6s fantasi och benagen-
bet att uppduka ALA m6jliga osanna
att dymedelst fora den Of.
riga verlden bakon ljuset. Daraf |
kan man f6rsta, buru menniskor kun.
de inf6r domstolen pa det NEST ma.
lande satt skildra sina upplefda or
gier Blakulla.
Delta medeltideus hexovasen och
satt att tanda bal for stackars menni.
'kor, som stallet hade bort omhuldas
pa en- god sjukvardsanstalt, ar ett Wis.
'erligen hemskt, men ocksa mycket
arorikt kapitel mensklighetens hat.
Ter. Den som en- gang riktigt grund-
igt studerat sig in vidskepelsens hi
toria ar for visso for alltid sjelf bo-
ad.
Minnesota stats tidning. (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1877-1882, 1881-01-27
Hvad voro medellidens hexor? ?

Bekant ar, huru under den vidskep.
liga medeltiden och anda in pa 1900.
talet i nyare It'd isynnerhet qvinnor
ofta ank1agades for att sta maskopi
med den lede fenden, eller som man
sade vara besatta af dtefvulen, hvar-
pa de vanligen f6rdes till ballet och
brandes u nder namn af hexor. Be.
visen utgjordes vanligen at intet an.
nat an vissa hemska sjukdomsfeno-
men, ofta 6fvergaende till fullstandigt
raseri, som af den okunniga samtiden
eli kunde forklaras annorlunda an un.
der antagandet att de olyckliga voro
besatta at onda andar. Noggranna
protokoll finnas maHgd behalf Of
yer dessa markvardiga rattsfall.
j en- intressant artikeli .sRevue des
deux Mondes'' anf6r f6rfattaren en
Inoggrann rapport af en- hederlig Ia.