Litchfield enquirer., 1881-11-17
CLIPPINGS.

CLIPPINGS.
 One thing is certain -Parnell will pay no rent for the abode he at present occupies. .. The coroner always goes inquest for body as < matter of corse. -s v ~a @ Sa~-+- . \, -A What is the use of cashier? Where they have one, it is frequently mo cash. here" When the Widow Sharp saw man shov- ing over her woodpile she said that he ''touch- ed a vibrating cord" tl.
 Why do they file marriage intentions. Sometimes to make them fit salary of $6 a
 .sNs1SS ksssasssas laga Wicked New. York men want to be buried iasGreep wood because iswon't burn sosqllick { yas the dry. . s"s'4@ ~@ & s1s 's' %s The world will never progress far. enough tc believe that mans black eye was caused by anything else than sumettpdy's fist.
 There is a good deal of difference between chm music and gin music.s though. it is not always apparent-s g.<A el vrr -ss n rrs. AAbook,. missing Twenty years.S has idsl, been returned to the Boston public library. Some people are such terribly slow readers.
 The lawyer is rising man. When he loses his case he does not despair. He says, ''Let us go up higher" But you have to hlre him O do It.
 lady, in reply to some guests who praised the mutton on the table. said: "0h, yes, my husband always buys the best; he is a great epicac." t
 A young clergyman in Ohio recently mar ried couple in the following brief manner: ''Do you want one anotherI" Both replied. ''.es." ''Weli. then, have one another
 Malaria is the perfect pet of the pessin,isls, 'tls SD daDn,lcaily bad. It is the principle of evil in active operation in other words 'ts the deviL 443i s-y ; j. > s%~@ Although early in the season, we announce, at the req lest "t Mr Vennur that durlug llle cJning wIuter Maer ~iii as usual freeze N ith tue slippery side ul. H s@4
 WiliiansA Brainunn is going to California to pass the winter In California a n,au docsn't have to dig so deep for augle-worms in the cold season. M #SsE u
 How the late Mir. Methuselah, when iu his eglH simndred and seyenty-eighth year, must have enjoyed sitllng down at the corner gro. cerv and lying about the cold weather of 42 E. c.
 , What can do for you to induce you to go to bed BOW - asked Lowell mamma of her five yea-s-old boy Mouday evening. You Can let me sit up a little longer," was the youngsters response.
 Clergyman: No, my dear, it is impossible 10 preach any kind of a sermon to such con- gregation of asses" Smart Young Lady |: And is that+why you call them Dearly be- loved brethreny"
 You are the worst boy ever saw l" ex- go on as you do? l should think you would have some respect for your father" "How can 1. dad, have any respect for man with such rascally son ?" asked the young repro bate.
 A Boston man recently smash ed very ripe tomato on yellow canvas and set it up in an artists studio, and tlree-fourths of the critics who called pronounced it most aesthetic and delightful piece of color work, in fact chef d. 9uvre, and he sold it to q rich man for $5O0. Money goes to the inventive genius.
 We notice iD many an esteemed contemp- orary's column an article entitled: Bank Directors Duties." We should sa. contrary to our general free trade principles, that these duties should be not flor revenue only" but for ''protection" as we'll.
 r.rs2zA sT z . 4 . 3 4
 You appear to have constitutional antip- athy to water," said an unspotted Eumantarl- an to a rum rosy tramp s'No," returned, the latter. ''It isn't institutional. it's accident al 7 Strange! How did you come to have such an aversion to water?" Easy enough i; 1 have two sons drowned in it."
 "Why do we commences dinner with soup?" asked medical journal. Because the lanG- lady seuds it the first thing. and there's no show to: the meats until the soup is gone. That's tie explanation of the mystery of our hou3e we 1t know how you're fixed.
 Ma" she said confidngIy, Henry has asked me to ulairy him" And you accept ed - was the query. No" was the reply, Il didn't, and neither did reject him. If Can keep him on the string until Christmas he'l make ne handsome present to induce me to say yes You know I've been want ing gold watch for long time" .'
 Some days ago we said that unless hunters brought us some of the game they bragged about we would not publish their fabulous tales. The following afternoon a man from oyer near Laramie Peak brought in eleven blackblrds and mule that he had shot by mistake and laid them at our feet. We do not insist on documentary evidence now any more. Agood, honest mans word is good enough for US. .. -5 s4sfa .; ,r.r
 Most modest of men is the plumber,
 No rival has he save the drumber: Through the world OCT meligns
 ~ -@ Yet he neve repigns. +a T ! And thriveth iu winter and sumber A
 Give him bu an order to plumb,
 Aid his bill straightway reaches a sumb
 That depletes your exclequer-
 Would equip d three-deauer- -.r.,.s.
 And makes you most awfully glumb.
 -IUnidentited.
 He came home late the other night, an his wife woke up and found him with d burning match. trying to light the faucet over tue mar ble basin in his dressing-rooui. James" she said, ''that is not the gas-hurner. Il know 'tInow. my love-" he replied unsteadily. fact is, I've been overwoktd, and that's the iea- son made mistake" Yes, you look as if you had been lifting good deal,'' she quietly al.- swered, as she returned to her pillow.
 In the studio: '.Ah, good morning, Ben. Just the man want to see. Tell me what's the matter with E.y Italian sunset. Too much color2 Not enough ?" ea .fa i.
 The tin,s are about right, Eugene, but there's something 's-.+
 ''I knew it. knew it. Now what is it ?" ''Well, Eugene, all you want to do is 10 move sun from the northeast corner of your picture due west. That'll set the pie ture right and set the sun right, too." Gave him 3oints-ot the compass. 1,st A G ''Ill be blowed, :" said New Haven bride groom as he begun dressing for the ceremony. that confounded Goose, the tailor. has sent me the wrong suit"
 ''l should say so," rejoined his best man. , 2 That suit is big enough for David Davis. You can't wear it :; and there is only half an hours time.'' -.a z !, Cant you pin it in a little. Take it up