davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-16

Gov. JEWELL telegraphed to friend in
Hartford that "thc President is still in n
critical condition, but conralescent" This
reminds the St. Louis Globe-Democrat of n
story of the illness of the wife of Jim Tarr,
one of the earliest of the oil kings. A
sympathetic neighbor congratulated Jim on
her "convalescence" "Oh," said Tarr, "her
convalescencc is all over with; the doctor
knocked - out of that week ago."
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-16
HnODy Thought.

indianapolis News.
Guiteau complains of indigestion from
the prison fare. IT he were taken into the
every day and agltated with a
:" "blacksnake the exercise might remove
his indippstOu.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-16
SATURDAY, JULY 10, 1881.

PREACHERS and journalists are on half
rations out in Cincinnati. The public libra
ries have been closed, out of respect to the
weather.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-16

THE ex.Quecn Isabella went to see the
comet one night, and the comet cut her
dead. without so much as leaving word
"Not this evening, some other evening y
the serene celestial visitant refused to APP
pear. Everybody else at the Observatory,
however, put on their best clothes, and
their very best manners, and, no doubt, the
royal lady and the rest of the company felt
consolcd by the consideration that the
comet was not of much consequence any
how
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-16
Paste This In Your Hat.

Pittsburg Leader
at Is II sim, i" said the late Rev. DR.. VIII
liam Tracy, who spent the whole OF his
adult life us missionary in India, ana VINO
had experience of many hundreds OF cases
of cholera, for anyone to die of cholera.
down ut once and submits to II treatment,
the principal part OF which consists OF u
patient and persistent rubbing of the abdo'
men, to be kept up even after apparent col
cOyer.b
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-16

The Democrats of Ohio are nominating
candidate for Governor with the thermome
ter mt l05 in the shade. The Republicans pro
before October. The chances to do this will
be laigely enhanced II the Republicans of
the State will invest in 900 pounds of the
best putty and use 100 pounds each on about
ten Republican editors in different sections
of Ohio. Their openings are too large
and numerous for the good of the. party
Inter Ocean,
This is making too heavy demand on
Ohio. All States that are reliably Republi-
can will please forward putty, prepaid, to
the headquarters at Columbus.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-16
A narrowing Thought.

Atlanta Constitution.
Has anybody observed that the Camerons
are II little backward in making Il public
announcement of their regrets? Is 1T pos
sibie that the Camerons have lied from our
hospital shores?
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-16

Ir is ANNOUNCED in due form by the
press that the old Lyman Beecher mansion at
Litchfield, Conn, has been moved from its
foundations and added to a private asy-
lum for the insane. Perhaps the change is
not so great as it at first appears. good
many cranky notions have been sheltered
under that roof in days gone by.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-16

BuLL-RUN RUSSELL is "bearins" t'c
American market again. A class of Irish
men arc now emigrating that the English
would gladly keep at home, and good run
of stories about the free-shosting in the
Western States might further that object
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-16

Eurckn lNeN.J StTtIItI.
On Tuesday last, early in the morning.
four bucks were seen carrying comcly
sduaw over Clark-street hill. The squaw
was tied hand and foot, and appeared us re-
conciled to her fate rs an Egyptian mummy.
In answer to II que .tion us to what they
were doing with the prisoner, a sturdy buck,
whose checks were daubed with brilliant
red, replied bad squaw; heap run away
from husband for some other fellow. Take
him back to camp and whip him. He no
run away again."
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-16

WARNER MILLER received rs votes to day
in the New York Legislature and will hence
forth wear the toga dropped by brother
Platt We can think of nothing more flat
tering than to say he is just about equal to
tho opcnsion
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-16

THE Akron (Ohio) Beacon explains the
withdrawal of Depew. 1t says that he
never was our choice" Mr. Dcpew learned
this late one night, and the next morning
resigned
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-16

THE Haukeye keeps such sharp lookout
itself that it thinks if Vennor took little
more trouble he could see whom the light
ming would strike. The demand is unrca-
sonable, and just little uncomfortable 1t
is bad enough to know the ''when" and the
"whercn without designating the "whom."
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-16

A GROWING propensity to confront n
newspaper with sentiments that differ from
its latest utterances can be observed. Why
should this be so? The principal reason
urged some years ago for separating from
England was that the press wanted to
change its views once inside of twenty-four
hours. Has this privilege been lost?
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-16

THE Cincinnati Enquirer is out with
picture of its new nominee. They always
find it hard to run campaign out that way
without map.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-16

The Globe Democrat has managed to say
something nice about Andy johnson. Mr..
Johnson's relatives regret that he is not
able to resent the insult.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-16

THE Cincinnati Commercial publishes a
portrait of the Presidents wife. Mrs Gar
field has been advised by her friends to place
the damages at 100000.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-16

JOHN w. BooKwALTER, the next Gov
ernor of Ohio Gf the Democrats poll enough
votes) is only Al. This will encourage
old Judge Thurman. He wanted the young
men to get show.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-16
Accounts for the show.


Philndelphia ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS.
distinguished London chemist says
that ants are peculiarly sensitive to bright
colors. This, then, explains why the girls
who wear rcd stockings to picnic parties
are bothered the most with them.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-16

THE PRESIDENT is improving rapidly.
Everything is in his favor. We notice
champagne, woodcock and Jamaica rum a
hundred years old on the White House bill
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-16

THERE is no truth in the report that
small refrigerators for cent, modelled on
the one made for Mr.. Garfield, are to be
manufactured for general use. This is Of
ficial.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-16

Your Uncle Rufus Hatch announces that
Jaw Gould will purchase the Great Eastern
This looks as though Mr.. Gould is about to
begin the shipment of war elephants to
Mexico for the purpose OF protecting
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-16
The MILKY Way.


Cincinnati Commercial.
There was one visitor to the White House
recently we were glad to hear Of. Refer
ence Is made to Mr.. Shoemaker's Alderncy
cow
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-16
Valued sympathy.

st. Paul Dispatch.
The comet, now that 1t is split, .sympa-
thizes with the Republican party In New
York.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-16
IrYou Don,t Beiievc This, Try 1t.

louisville COurier-JOurnal
Just now n newspaper office ut night Is
cepting the lower "levels " of the Nevada
mines.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-16

The Burlington (Vt.) Free Press spells
and defines as follows: "Laudable pus"-
the pus of $250,O00 to be rendered to Mrs
Garfield
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-16


SUCH of the newspapers as enjoy the edi-
torial services of great constitutional law
yers are arduously discussing that clause in
the organic law which provides that in case
of the inability of the President to dis
charge the duties of his Office, the Vice.
President shall act in his stead We pur-
posely avoid quoting the exact language of
the Constitution in order to present what
1t is evident that the use of the word
inability" was designed to cover all
possibilities not embraced under the
other heads of removal" "death,' y
or resignation" specially enumerated
That is to say, that the trainers of the Con
stitution, after specifically mentioning
"death," removal or resignation n
casualties most likely to occur in the natu
raj course of events, foresaw that circum
stances might produce vacancy in th'
Presidential office, temporary or permanent
without coming under either of these heads
That is to say, a casualty might occur to tn,
President which, though not depriving hin
of life, would render him unable" to dis
charge the duties of his office, either for
limited time or for the remainder of hi
term. But this might not be an oflense TO
which he could be legally removed i
might not be his pleasure to "resign."
This il seems to us would be the inability
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-16

PARIS thoroughly enjoys day of festiv-
ity, and carefully prepares for its success.
The Parisians as whole are busy, thrifty
and practical people, and when they under
take to expend their money on fireworks
and their muscles ON street parade, they
prudently assure, as far as possible, that
no stupid bit of laundering shall spoil the
whole effect of the spectacle. On such oc-
casions all vehicles are stopped as one OF
the essential prcliminarics to the success oi
procession on foot, and the plan is worthy
of imitation. The incongruous intrusion
of bakers cart, or the prancing steed at
tached to vegetable wagon, can mar the
general effect of the finest street pagean
even when it does not endapger the limb
or life of the spectators.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-16

The MAYOR OF NEWPORT, though his
name is Slocum, seems too quick to go off.
At meeting Of the board of alderman he
slung around such uncommonly bad lang
uage directed mainly at most respectable
citizen of the place, that the board, out of
sef.respect and as the quickest way of saw
ing the Mayors reputation, adjourned upon
the spot Aristocratic Newport ought to be
moro cool and dignifled.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-16

The Griffin (Ga.) Neus perpetrated the
worst joke of the season when it said He'll
Guiteauver it,"
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-16

amusement of the crowd in Paris at the re-
cent festival seem very pucrilc as an attrac-
tion for adults. These entertainments were
numerous, and managed according to the
same system as those which we inelegantly
but cXpressively style sidc-shows. In one
of them, on payment of ten cents, the visitor
was blindfolded in a grotesque mask and
then aimed to dislodge piece of wood bal
anced on a peg in the wall, receiving aprize
for success In a similar show, expressly
intended to please the ladies, cotton threads
were dropped from the roof of the tent to the
floor, where they were drawn tense. The
player blindfolded and armed with scissors,
attempts to cut one of the threads as means
of winning prize.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-16
Some are in Boston.
A Twenty.six Eyed snake.

Boston Posi-,
Lunatics are not confined to the precincts
of Washington byad. S.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-16
BOARDING.

ENIRST-CLASS BOARD, with large rooms, at
I 476 Penna ave-, opposite National Hotel.
Board from S5 to $40 per week. Transient, from 81
to s.5 per day. Terms to suit for families. Mrs.
Q: @. Howard, proprietress 0cl--d
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-16

NOR SALE - NEW LATEST IMPROVED
IL Sewing Machines s25 complete, same kind
az are usually sold at $40; no canvassers. G.
AUEhBACH, cor Seventh and II. ly1i.3t
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-16

ENOR SALE--THE STOCK AND FIXTURES
~ ofa Plumbing Establishment. Inquire at No.
W. ix0tf
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-16

LNOR SALE "A LADY'S FANCY GENTLE
IL riding mare years old; also, Il li-month colt:
one light wagon suitable for groceryman; will be
sold very cheap Apply to MRS. BIRD, Twelfth
and Ill streets northeast. jyii-3t*
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-16

NOR SALE - NEW BRICK HOUSE, CON-
IL tanning rooms, with modern improvements
on easy terms; price 5000. For particulars call at
premises, No. l53i Sixteenth st. u. w. iyli-3t*
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-16

EOR SALE TWO FIvE-ROOM BRICKS.
~ rented for so per month to colored tenants,
near 18th st. n W., for 81 900 each; one half cash.
+. III. Fall, 402 9th st. n. W. jyStf
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-16

nor SALE-A BEAUTIFUL RESIDENCE
IL for n gentleman of leisure, merchant or clerk
In any of the Government departments, desiring to
own rural home where property Is yearly en-
n splendid road This property is elevated on rich,
rolling land, watered by springs and running
and surrounding country, and within less than one
mile from the Metropolitan Branch and Baltimore
one a beautiful mansion of Il rooms, Exclusive of
the bnsement, surrounded by choice fruits of va
riOus kinds, shrubbery and flowers and water in
the mansion and In the house. For further infOr-
nation apply to w. II. Main & Bros, st. Charles
Hotel, corner Third street and Pennsylvania ave
me northwest. jy12-tf
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-16
F0R SALE.

5000 Ssf m interest IN Copyright %iaL RTG
teed to pay each 1000 annually for q years. Ad-
dress LADY, Critic office. jul5-3ts
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-16

LNOR SALE-Farm of ninety acres, near WASH
IL ington suited to gardening dairying or farm
ing; will be sold ut very little more than half its
value; owner, not being farmer, has use for
1t. Apply at 22i ID 1T. n w. matt
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-16

JNOR SA LEA SMALL LOT OF OLD BRICK
~ Will be sold cheap. Apply Mt this office.
INOR SALE = CINCINNATI CYLINDER
II Press will print sheet 2ixaS Address or
apply at CRITIC office, 5ll Ninth street. je24
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-16

weather.
Orangeburg times. [volume] (Orangeburg Court House [S.C.]) 1877-1881, 1881-08-25
n u MItEIS. 2Y
An Humble Printer.

~ Dutchman, sitting in the door Of
his tavern IN the far West, is approa-
ched by tall, thin Yankee, who is
emigrating Westward on foot, with
buhdle hung on a cane over his
shoulder.
Veil, Mister Walking Stick, vat
you vunt! inquired the Dutchman
Rest and ret'rcshmcn,. replied the
printer.
Supper and lotchin;' I reckon?'
Yes, supper and lodging, if OH
please
pc We Yankee peddler, mid
chewelry in your pack to cheat der
galy'
No. sir, I'm no Yankee peddler.'
y singin' master, too lazy to york.
No; sir
"A shentcel shoemaker, vat loves ID
measure der gals feet and hankles
bet cr tan 20 make der shocs|
No, Sir, or should have mend
cd my own shoes
~ look achent vot bodders der
srhcnl committees till they de vbt
you wish, choost to get rid Of your
Guess again, sir; l am no book
agent
Ter tycfuls! A dentist, breaking
der peoples jaw at 81 schnag, and
runnin' of nit il daughtcr?'
no, Sir; ! am no tooth pullcr.'
Phenologus, den-fceling der
young folks heads like so ttiany cab
Bitch.
No; | am no phrenologist.'
Veil, den. vat ter tyeiuls can YOU
be? Choost tell; you shall have the
best sassngc for supper, and sday all
night, free gratis; rnitout a cciit, and
Il chill Of whisky to start but nit IN
der mornin'.'
i ain an humblc disciple Of Faust
"a professor Of the art that pre-
serves all arts-a typographer, at
your service
'Notsch dot:'
'Aprinter; sir; man that prints
bucks and newspapers
a man vot lrintsch lioosepapers!
Oh, yaw, yaw ny, dat ish it.: A mani
vat printsch nooscpapers! yaw! yaw!
Walk up! ~ man Yot printsch moose
l-~rsrv rfsn uiay DC suUU II
did not tink you vas poor tyeful Of
4 dishtrick schoolmastcr who works
for nodding and boards round. I
fought you vas HIM,
Orangeburg times. [volume] (Orangeburg Court House [S.C.]) 1877-1881, 1881-08-25
OraIAseburg.

EHftor OrdnGebury Times.
1t has been truthfully asserted that
few interior towns have developed in
material prosperity rs Orangcburg
has, and the rupidity With which
attractive residences are being built
Ill over the town, testiGcs to tile
thrift, energy and prosperity Of her
citizens. In order to fully Hppre-
cintc the growth and Improvement Of
the place, one must see for oneself.
laying business in your town, which
detained me there for several days, |
improved my leisure by 'doing the
c!:;;' of Oramgebutg, anal | w:ta well
repaid for til" tine thus occupied
It was my fortune to put up at the
FAIRY Hotel Zone Of The four we'll
kept establishments OF the kind in
town), Mr.. j. w. Fairy p:op.:c.. ,r,
comfortable and airy rooms, and
good table. A dinner, is not SO much
as the manner in which it is coohcd
and served, and here Mr. FAIRY has
con5incl Ills requisite With excel
ent fare. The ncaina;s an clcanl
ness OF the dining 70 IN, til. sc.Ticc
and the walters. SHOW shat Nj. Fairy
"knows how 10 keep Il hotel" Ui.nn
inquiry. he fact w:ts developed. that
Mrs. Fairy personally superintendent
the culinary d%par; ;m.n., the 'l'ai.ics'
are prnverhi!l Tor having things their
own way. The. c'Il:taolS and genial
c"nirrnai!r" nf ''ye l"n!loi'd" attend
nI ,iS Ia hE. ,,,,,,,;;,,. =, !., ~, ,.,,,.,,
Orangeburg times. [volume] (Orangeburg Court House [S.C.]) 1877-1881, 1881-08-25

The Star Of Bethlehem which is
now visible Just above the eastern
horizon from 3 o'clock until daylight
each morning, is the most beautiful
star Of the heavens. Those who
have not seen il will be fully repaid
for the trouble of al early rise. II is
so la: &c and brilliant that it sheds Il
soft and mellow light almost as
bright rs the new moon. This cclcs
tial risitoris now On the wanc, and
i! will disappear this fall. 1t will not
rcappcar until after the lapse Of three
hundred years, so that every person
who has an eye for The beautiful,
should not lose this rare opportunity
OF seeing this wonderful star during
IT'S present passage over us.-Put-
meito lc0n,an.
Orangeburg times. [volume] (Orangeburg Court House [S.C.]) 1877-1881, 1881-08-25
Lost Time.

lfyou would make the best use Of
your time, look after the minutes.
Keeps strict account Of every hour Of
your time for q single week., setting
down tic exact manner in which
every hour is spent, and see whether,
when you come TO review the record,
you to not find it full OF admonition
and instruction. In this simple way
one can readily understand the Sc
crct his want Of time lie will dis
cover that he has given hours to idle
talk, to Incidence and to inconsilsr-
able trillcs, which have yielded him
neither profit nor pleasure. What is
the remedy? Arrange your work in
the order Of its comparative impor-
tancc. Attend first to the things
which are essential to be done, and
let the unesscntials take their chance
attrrwar,l. The difference in the
amount oi work accomplished will be
astonishing.
Orangeburg times. [volume] (Orangeburg Court House [S.C.]) 1877-1881, 1881-08-25
HIS O:va GhDicc.

BY teaching a child to rely in Il
great measure upon his own Judgment
you 90 him an incs,imable service.
We ought to encourage in all chill
drch, 'r",n the first dawn Of reason, Il
reasonable free will which should be
exercised, whenever possible. in all
unimport:,nt things, gradually be-
coming more and more important as
reason ana common sense increase
Under due supervision, | would allow
8 child TO choose its own clothes, pur
suits, companions, subject to advice,
but still made to understand that to
guide and control itself, to act and
decide for itself, is not crime to be
punished, but duty Of life to be ful
lillcd every year more perfectly and
more wisely. And. above all, / would
teach children navcr to lean where
they can stHnd upright, never to ask
another person 10 decide for them
what they can decide for themselves.
At all ages, and in all crises, if we
must act, let lis act without troubling
othcrpcoplc: five must suifer-alas -!
it is hard to teach child this, and
yet we ought-le; rs, as much rs DOS
siblr, learn to suffer alone without in
ilictin5 needless pain upon other pco
PIE. This is sharp discipline, but by
its exercise We shall develop our chill
dren into reasoning, thinking beings.
Orangeburg times. [volume] (Orangeburg Court House [S.C.]) 1877-1881, 1881-08-25
OrnngeburG Baptist IAssoci:s
tiOMs.

Antioch CnuRcn, July, 50, 1881. :
Editor Oranyebury Times:
The Union Meeting Of the First
Division OF the Ornngcburg Baptis:
Association, met this day with
Antioch Baptist Church.
The Introductory sermon was
preached by Rev l. u. Prickctt, from
Exodus l4th ch., l5tl: yer.
In the absence ofthe Moderator,
the Clerk organized the Union.
Officers elected for the present
session, Rev. w. II. rarlcr, .Moder-
ator, $. NJ. kcmmcrlin, Clerk, who
are to serve till another election.
Prayer meeting Saturday morning
by brother Wm. NJ. Gatincy; preach
ing by Rev. L. II. Graves.
The usual Committees reported,
which reports were adopted without
discussion
Some important resolutions were
adopted, among them, the following,
viz:
RESOLVED, That it is thc sense Of
this Union, that the loss, which
brother j. II. Fielder has sustained
ny fire, is q stroke Of Divine Provi-
,Icncr, and we bow with reverence
before It, ah,l tender 70 brother
Fielder and family, our heartfelt
sympathy and prayers in their dis
trcSS.
Brother Fcl,lcr, as Treasurer.
stated, thea amount Of thirty-two dbl
lars and fifty four ($32 5iD cents p
his hands WAS all lost by the fire,
wLercupon the Union Immediately
raisc; NIB 30 in cash ana pledges
Tor brother f., as Treasurer OF The
Executive Committee.
The subject discussed, WAS, "Whnt
is the best mcanr 10 get members Of
the churches to do their duty? It was
discussed by Rev. Il. NJ. Galphin
followed by Rev. |. ID. Pricke,t The
Union then adopted tile following:
RESOLVED, That il is the sense OF
this tnior, that the proper way to
get church members To .lo their duty,
is, to emphasize the Importance Of
conversion, and then for the elder
members Of he church, together with
the tastor,, totry anal give the proper
bent to the l-n:- ,rircl impulse
given ut conversion. and then bring
them into close sympathy with the
grca, heart Of The Gospel, Jesus
Christ.
Our next meeting Will lie on Fri
day before the 9th sabbath Of Orio-
brr, with the -Four Holes Church.
Rev. +. II. Graves, to preach the
introductory sermon, anl Rev. L. NJ.
Galpilin, the Charity sermon.
). NJ. kEMMERiLS, Clerk.