Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1881-01-09
PITH AND POINT.

The candle-wick is up to snuff.
The cream Of joke should never be
sour.
USUALLY "through by daylight -
Sleep.
WHAT is it that by losing an eye has
only nose left? A noise.
A CRACK invisible to the naked eye.
The crack of whip.
NEVER scare off fly with club when
feather will do as WELL
ANEW novel is called "Man Proposes"
1t is certainly not leap-year story.
A KISS on the forehead of some of our
modern girls is sort of salaam bang
salutation.
OUT in Montana, when they start
man down hill in barrel, they speak of
his appearance in a new role"
GRAcE-"I am going to see Clara to-
day. Have you any message?" Char
lotte-"I wonder how you can visit that
dreadful girl. Give her my love-"
BEFORE marriage
With wondrous care,
She seeks the mirror
And bangs her hair.
After marriage,
With angry glare,
She grabs her slipper
And bangs her heir.
REooRDER-"You are very young to
be stealing for living. Are you going
to make that your profession?" eyes,
sir; my father wants me to learn the ru-
diments thoroughly before Irun for Of
fce."
81 SMELL sumfin burning" re-
marked an aged negro, who sat at the
campfire toasting his extremities.
"Gosh!" he added, moment later,
with loud yell, its dis niggah's own
fut !"
81 SAY, Glenn" cried two disputing
darkies, appealing for decision to sable
umpire (which word is right dizactly
or dezactly?" The sable umpire re-
fected amoment, and then, with look
Of wisdom, said: 81 can't tell, pep
zactly."
"HAvE you given electricity a trial
for your complaint, MADAME" asked the
minister, as he took tea with the old
lady. ELECTRICITY" said she. "Well,
yes, I reckon L has. 1 was struck by
lightning last summer, and hove out of
the window, but it didn't seem to me no
sort of good"
The New York Tribune reports the
Rev. W. II. Fl. Murray as saying
"Death is perfnirion, that is ALL" Well,
if that is all-if death is simply "pe"
what - " finirion," it
can't have sting, as alleged. We al
| x-a,-, 1,oJ n e,,ao1-inc, corf oe foa1inor 4bof
it was one of those things, but, owing
to q rush of political news, we never get
room to say so.-NorriSto,0n Herald.
BOARD Schoolmaster desiring to ex-
plain the word Connected, which had
occurred in the course of the reading
lesson)-"Now, boys, suppose thai was
always boasting Of my learning 1
knew good deal O Latin. for instance,
or that my personal appearance was
that was very good-looking, y know
what should you say I was" Straight
forward boy (who had "caught the
Speakers eye")-"I should say you was
q liar, s..
Mrs. SUSAN COOLIDGE has written
volume of verse, and III the prelude to
the work remarks that
| Poems are heavenly things,
And only souls with wings
| May reach them where they grow,
! May pluck and bear below,
| Visiting the nations thus
With food all glorious.
You are wrong, Susan. There is not
solitary soul with wings in this Office,
and yet you can stand most anywhere
and reach poems. Unfortunately, the
people who wrote them are out of
reach. Chicago Tribune.
IT is nice thing to be very bright,
and to give what is supposed to be
witty answer to every query, but some
times one gets caught in his own trap.
"What is crime?" asked the grave
professor in q theological college. ga
crime !" answered the wit OF the class,
"why, it is when a man does some
thing" "Then," said the professor, as
he looked over his glasses at the youth,
81 think no one could accuse you, Mr..
Brown, of ever committing crime"
"Now, YOU know" remarked the new
Sunday-school teacher, as he beamed
kindly on the interested class of boys,
"that Robert Bruce, as he lay on the
bed, saw spider cast its web seven
times. failing every time, but the eighth
attempt was successful. Now, what was
the result?" And he looked into the
eager, upturned faces before him. And
then an exceedingly small boy, with
phenomenally large freckles, at the foot
of the class, whose folks had been clean
ing house the week before, spoke up and
said that the woman came in the next
morning with broom and dust-pan,
and carried the spider out, a clay-cold
corpse. And then the school sang, while
the new teacher sat down and wiped his
forehead.
Poets Laureate.