River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1881-09-01
IN A NUT SHELL.

tdkco 1ie CuteIluuy.
A Philadelphia temperance society
has adopted for its motto: "Be just and
beer not"
When is lover justified in calling
mis- sweetheart "honey?" When she is
bee loved.
Men are like pins-one with little
head may be just as sharp as one with
big head.
An editor without backbone don't
amount to much. It's his principal
column, you know.
Fourth of July is also Decoration
Day, the decorations consisting of court
plaster and bandages.
1t is peculiar the awful veneration
which the small boy has for compan-
ion whose father is policeman.
"Nhat is lover" It's a feeling that
you don't want any other fellow going
round with her.
Nobody likes to be the subject of
put up job, and yet few will decline an
umbrella on rainy day.
Miss Hardness, who won the prize in
Paris for violin playing, is the daughter
of a Boston news carrier.
A Connecticut woman has given her
son large comforter made of hair cut
from her own head during ten years.
Patti wears false hair, having lost
large part of the natural growth. Her
black braids are selected with great
care in Paris.
A San Francisco trick is to neatly
cover good silver coin with tinfoil,
and induce an expert to bet that it is a
counterfeit.
"My Darling's Shoes" is the name of
a new ballad, but 'the old mans boot"
is generally considered more touching.
Beaconsfeld spoke of certain lord
as zone cf those who entertain such
sacred regard for truth that he will not
use it too freely"
Major Gossitt had been widower
only three months at Chattanooga be-
fore he was sued for breach of promise
to marry.
Mr.. Henry G. Vennor is only forty
one years old, is the owner of most
successful mustache and parts his
WdNy HdlT III Tie InluCl6.
Some one wrote to Horace Greeley
iuquiring if guano was good to put on
potatoes. He said it might do for those
whose tastes had become vitiated with
tobacco and rum, but he preferred
gravy and butter.
Mr.. John Walter, proprietor of the
London Times, will shortly arrive in
this country and stay until October.
His wife and children will accompany
him. After visiting Long Branch and
Newport he will go to California.
The East Indian Prince of Gondal is
on the eve of matrimony. He is to
lead seven happy maidens to the altar
at once. The troubled life of an East
Indian Prince has its compensations.
Just think of it! Eight souls with but
single thought, eight hearts that beat as
one!-Bost0n Transcript.
The threshing machine has robbed
country life of one of its most exhilar-
ating pleasures. In the good old days
when the fail was the vogue, the city
visitor could retire to the barn and in
one short half hour get more bangs and
bruises than he can now acquire all day
in the diamond field. Boston Tran
script.
An increasing activity is reported
among the Mormons. Their mission
aries have been dispatched to nearly
every state in the Union to win converts
and help them emigrate to the Utah
sink of iniquity.
Like bell that's rung for fire; like
careless auction crier; like ofttimes a
graceful liar, misunderstanding tattlers
go; stopping you with quaking fear,
whispering, as you lend an ear-"Mercy
on us, did you hear? Betsy Bean has
got beau!"
A woman in New York railway car
sneezed her $50 false teeth out of the
window, and while the train men were
searching for them in the ditch, they
bit a brakeman in the heel, inflicting
painful, though not necessarily fatal
wound
Last evening a Whitehall chap,
dressed in his best clothes and lavender
pants, was on his way to see his sweet
heart, when an old bell-wether went for
him and butted him head over heels
into mud puddle. His visit was post
poned on account of the wether.
Put away your linen buster.
Grab your ulster from the rack
For the Manitoba wavelets
Soon will interview your back;
We can hear their chilly murmurs,
On the breeze borne everyday.
And they turn our thoughts to chilbains
And the in fu-en-Z-a.
Detroit Free Press.
While in some parts of Europe in
tense heat has been experienced this
summer, in others severe cold has Oc-
Cured. In Switzerland, during June,
vegetables froze in the fields and grass
in the meadows. In the north of Scot
land potatoes and turnips were badly
damaged.
The Rev. Geo. w. Williams, a mem
Der of the Ohio legislature, is negro.
A year ago he was suing a Columbus
hotel for refusing to board him on ac-
count of his color. Now q Columbus
hotel keeper is suing Williams for fail
ing to pay board bill.
While an emigrant train was stop
ping at Soda Springs, Utah, a few days
ago, boy got hold of shotgun be-
longing to some one in the party and
of course it went off. A little girl was
killed instantly, a baby MORALLY wound
ed and the mother badly hurt. The
gloom cast over these seekers for
homes in strange land cannot be east
ly described.