The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1881-06-15
Waste Forces.

How to apply and economlze the
waste forces of the world are the prob
lens which scientists and mechanicians
are constantly trying to solve. 1t is an
%undisputed fact hat the most powerful
natural agents have altogether escaped,
or but reluctantly succumbed to, the
guiding hand Of a
The force the young men spend In
twirling their llstlessly in the
air, if seized upon and concentrated,
would turn all the grindstones in the
world, but it would not necessarily
sharpen the wits of the cane twirlers.
The amount Of breath blown through
the lips of the worlds whistlers, exclu-
sive of that which shapes itself into a
tune, would make a continuous trade
wind that would send oil the shipping
of this country, including the navy,
around the world and back.
If the quick, jerky motion the young
men affect when tipping their hats to
their lady acquaintance could be util-
lied, it would furnish power for q cata-
pault that would send every circus per-
former in the country clean through the
canvas in search Of a 5000 prize comet.
The time wasted by young ladies in
preparing their toilets that they may
make q sensation on the street, would
give three days extra "grace" to every
outstanding liability in the world.
The smoke from cigars, pipes and
cigarettes that is now all mingled with
the atmosphere to it's great detriment,
if condensed and used would smoke all
the bacon Chicago and Cincinnati cure.
The morning "chin music" over
kindling the fire, which always results
in an unpleasant, cross breakfast, could
be attuned into n grand anthem of
discord that would establish shouting
communication with the moon.
The steady rise and fall of the mater
nal hand upon young hopefuls Of the
land, all wasted, would furnish atrip
hammer with force enough to forge an
axle on which the world might turn.
The gentle swaying to and fro OF
the fan by the women Of the world, if
harnessed into one grand hurricane,
would set every windmill in creation
running at such a lively rate that all the
corn and wheat could be ground into
-four by them.
The turning of the gates on their
hinges as Arabella and Augustus fondly
lean upon them, would furnish power
enough to saw all the wood in the
country. This doesn't say that Angus
tus had better be saving wood, but we
think he had.
The burning OF needless gas and
kerosene, even though burned low, for
the benefit of our counting population.
is an awful waste. If it could be con-
centrated into one grand caloric fur
mace it would boil all the potatoes and
roast all the meat that o world could eat
at a picnic.
| The continual stream of beer, gin
and whisky that is pouring down the
throats of III young men, would turn
all the water wheels in creation, and we
are not sure but it would, if applied to
the Keely motor, start the solar system
along at a more rapid rate.
This list of waste forces could be ex-
tended without limit. We only dropped
these few hints in order to give a prac-
tical turn to the mind of those thought
less individuals who are, for the most
part, responsible for. the great waste of
power that is going on in the world.
If you Imagine that you were placed in
the world for any purpose whatever,
look out for the waste forces, and get
about the business of yottiEr life in an
earnest manner; the quicker the better.
Mem Hagen Re0ister, ~