Saint Mary's beacon. [volume] (Leonard Town, Md.) 1867-1983, 1881-04-28
intoxicated Geese.

intoxicated Geese.
When geese take TO drink the result
is preposierous. For nature never meant
geese TO get intoxicated. In the first
place. they have no hands TO hold on to
lamp-posts with; while at the best OF
times their balance is prccarous. Even
when sober, Eat goose, # travelling on
uneven ground, constantly eants for
ward on TO its beak. or backward on to
its tail; but when inebriated it is utterly
helpless. A short while ago a farmers
wife in Germany had been making some
cherry brandy, but as she found, during
the process, that the fruit was unsound,
she threw the whole mass out into the
yard. and. without looking what follow
ed, shut the window.
As it fell, a party Of geese, good fell
lows all Of them, happened TO be wad-
ding by Of the time, and, seeing the
cherries trundling about Of once inves-
iigated them. The preliminary inqui-
~ proving satisfactory, these misguided
poultry set TO and ate the whole lot
mo heel taps" was the order ofthe ca
rouse, and so they finished al the cher
ries off al one sitting, 10 TO speak.
The effect OF the spiriiuous fruit was
soon apparent, for on trying to make
the gate which led from the scene Of
the debauch 10 the horse pond, they
found everything against them. Whelh-
er high wind had got up, or what had
happened, they could not tell, but il
seemed to the geese as II there was an
uneommonly high sea running, aud the
ground set IN toward them with stesdy
strong swell that was most embsrrass-
ing 10 progress
10 escape these difficulties, some
lashed their ruddeFs and hove 90 others
tried to run before the wind. while the
rest lacked for the pig stye. iht there
was no living IN such weather. and one
by one the crsii lurched over add went
down al standing. Meanwhile the
dame. the unconscious cause ol this dis
asier, was attracted BY the noise IN the
fowl yard, and looking out saw all her
ten geese behaving as fthey were mad.
The gander himself, usually 20 solemn
and decorous, was balancing himself on
his beak. and spinning around the
while 10 prodigious furry ofleaihers
and dust, while the old gray goose re-
markable even among her kind ior the
cifcumspeciton Of her conduct, was ly-
ing stomachupwsrd in the gutter, leebly
gesticulallng with her legs. Others Of
the party were no less conspicuous for
the extravaganza Of their attitude and
gestures. while the remainder were 10
be seen in helpless confusion Of leath-
ers 10 the lee scupper-that is to say,
the gutter by the pig siye.
PerplcIed by the spectacle the dame
called in her neighbors, and, after care
lul investigation, il was decided 10 coun-
Gil that the birds had died Of poison.
Under these circumstances their car.
cases were worth nothing for food but,
as the neIghbors said, the feathers were
not poisoned. and so they set TO woi
then and there and plucked the ten
geese bare.
Next morning the old woman got ur
as usual, and, remembering the fealh.
ers down stairs, dressed Defines. for II
was market day, and she hoped TO gel
them of her hands al once. And then
she bethought her Of the plucked bod
les lying in the porch, and resolved that
they should be buried before she went
out. But as she approached the door,
on these decent rites intent, and was
turning the key, there fell on her ears
the sound Of familiar voice, and then
another, until at last the astonished
dame heard IN full chorus The well.
known accents Of all her plucked and
poisoned geese.
The throat Of the old gander was, nc
doubt, a triAe husky, and the gray goose
spoke in muffled tones suggestive OF a
Christening headache; but there was no
mistaking those tongues, and the dame
lumbling at The door, wondered what
il all might mean. Has a goose ghost;
Did any one ever read or hear OF the
spectre Of ganderl The key turned
at last, the door opened. and there,
quaching ID subdued tones, supphani
and shiyering, stood, all her flock.
There they stood, the ten miserable
birds, with splitting headaches and
parched tongues, contrite and detected,
asking to have their feathers back again.
The situation was painful 10 both par
ties. The forlorn geese saw in each
others persons the Illuminating reAec-
ton OF their own condition. while the
dame, guilty conscious OF that bagful
of feathers and down, remembered how
that one lapse OF Noah, in that "aged
surprisal Of 600 years and unexpected
inebrlatIon from the unknown effects oil
wine" has been excused by religion
and the unanimous voice Of his posteri-
ty.
She, and her neighbors with her,
however, had hastily misiudged the
geese, and finding them dead drunk,
had stripped them, without remember