The Russellville Democrat., 1881-03-24
WAYS OF THE WORLD.

enough to see lt
 CAPT. EAD' ship railroad is no new idea. Didn't Charon pull boat over styxo-[ LoueH Courier
 Tug bromides are serviceable when fine nervous system has been irritated; when it is exhausted they do harm.
 NEW BRUNSWICK man who went to St. John recently to purchase a coffin, expecting his aged mother to die, was buried in the coffin himself the other Jav, and his mother, who has recovered, attended his funeral
 PASTOR MARsDoN said to hisss Methodist congregation at Yarker, Ont, that if cer- tain members persisted in attending dancing parties they must withdraw from the church. Six persons instantly stood mp and asked for dismissal.
 WHILE Chas Miller was eating break fast in Detroit his wife embraced him atIectionately and cut his throat. She explained that she was the queen of England. that he was the emperor of Germany, and that the cause of peace de- handed his death.
 He rose to leave and said good night
 She rose, but still she held him tight;
 Theod man rose and struck light,
 And saw him in her arms;
 His temper rose when he saw this
 He rose a spittoon to end their bliss;
 Thus rose n quarrel by which the Miss
 Lost her lover and he his charms
 -,T. E. Doyle Shenandoah Pe1iR.
 CoNDUcroRs do the fare thing and masons the square thing.-[ Errdtic En- riq,te. And editors the write thing iacob Nrauss. And laundresses the clean thing Marlboro Times. And police justices the fine thing.-G GSon,er- rille Journal. This thing is getting pretty well finished, but we will add that the man who supports fainting lady does the prop-her thing.-[ Boston Post.
 BERLIN has 3,239 sets of apartments without a fireplace or chimney, and half the population lives in dwellings with only one fireplace. Privy Councillor Starke draws shocking pictures of the immortality that exists i'll the city. Drunkenness is attaining alarming pro- portions. Over 10000 youthful climi- nals are turned annually into the streets out of prison, and more than 5000 are ho o)eless yagabonds.
 IN recent exhibition of old satirical prints and drawings in Liverpool were several subjects relating to the Revolu- tionary war One print of l7S2 repre- sents Miss America" travestied as a Virginia Princess, and holding the cap of liberty on pole She is making her peace with her estranged parent: Nam ma, say no more about it," to which Britannia responds in generous spirit Be good girl and give me buss."
 TIE Virginia City Enterprise says that they have in their state a tree called Mountain mahogany, of a rich red color and very hard. When used for fuel it produces such intense heat as to burn out stoves more rapidly than any coal. It blazes as long as ordinary wood would last and then becomes converted into a sort of charcoal that lasts twice as long as ordinary wood. A cord of this wood brings the same price as ton of coal
 IT beats me where all the time goes to; can't imagine what becomes of 1t. know don't use it all, and yet it goes. Last winter was only three months long and it was scarcely nine weeks ago we said goodbye to Burlington, and here it is time for snow-shoes again. l would like to clap an injunction on this sort oi thing but don't suppose l can do it. We have scarcely begun to realize 1t IS summer, and so the fields are bare and the woods are brown. The years have shortened up marvelously since l was a boy. I can remember when it was three years from one Christmas to another, and about two years longer between the Fourths of July. Somebody has been tampering with the almanac. l wonder five have been losing time ever since we left Philadelphia" the brake man just remarked to the fat passenger That must be tits Tom Scott that has done it. It's Jay Gould and Vanderbilt hat mn all fhn tiFpa - RgIrIInUfOf Hawkeye.
 A SPORTING empress is so much of an anachronism in the latter years of the nineteenth century that the annual fox hunting tours of the Empress of Austria deserve notice This imperial lady, who was born in palace, and whose whole life has been passed in the perfumed at mosphere of courts, whose brother was king, whose sister was a queen, and who was herself raised to the dignity oi empress when almost a girl, finds all oi life that is worth living is that which + passed in her stables in the congenial companionship of her horses. Her chun is a famous circus rider, and while othel queens make themselves unhappy ovel political or social questions. she makes herselfhappy in little equine king iom II which there are neither cabals nor rival ries nor contentious, and manages to es cape from court life summer and ~lntel to follow her strange tastes. Last wintel was spent in Ireland, but this year he Majesty has taken Combermere Abbey in Cheshire. She brings a suite of lO' with her, and is estimated to spend G20, 900 as the expenses of her annual hunt ing tour.
 TIE London dispatches inform us tha in about two months grading will begiI on the line of the already surveyed rail road through the Holy Land, "Througl by day light to Jerusaleml" Jus think of iu Fast express to Siolal Palace sleeping car for Bethesda" "Ai line to Tarshishp One by one the iroI horses blow their way through the rem iniscenes of childhood, through the sa cred legends of the Sunday school. II the minds eye, Horatio, one already be holds the doughnut fiend dealing ou ! dyspepsia and machine made pies in th station at Babylon, and the orthodo, Christian swearing at being walked up t. buy prize package at Damascus. Tn picturesque camel will hereafter dray Saratoga trunks from the depot at Beth lehem; Moody and Sankey will hold revival at Sodom and Gomorrah; Beeche will lecture on dollar day at five hun dred dollars night at Tarsus: the three card monte men will be forcibly eiecte at Zion ar stand in with the conductC