The Portland daily press., 1881-11-08
brooklyn Eagle.l
Her Favorite Item.

"Where will find the man who writes your
sqaibs?" demanded tough looking old lady Of
the city editor yesterday afternoon.
ST guess he's out in the yard saving wood"
replied the city editor. "Want to see him for
anything in paIticular?"
"I want to know when he is going to write an
article about putting up the stove" demanded
the tough female, grimly. 81 have taken the
Eagle for fourteen years anc have never seen
funny article on that subieet yet. Every other
paper has one once year, and this sheet must
keep up with the rest or you needn't send it to
me any more"
"What would you like to have them say9"
asked the city editor.
"Say! don't he know what to say? Can't he
say that the man went to work. cheerfully
in his shirt sleeves, but when he found
length of pipe missing he began to howl like
wolf and abuse his wife for not keeping her
eye on it all summer? Strikes me a man who
keeps the run of the newspapers ought to know
what to say about putting mp stovel Then
can't he have the man jam his finger and roar
like bull?"
Suppose he did say it," replied the city edi-
tor, '.what good would it do?''
"Bahi' ejacnlated the tough female" What
good does it do any paper that say SO? Yet
they all say it. Besides, they tell how he rips
and tears because one leg falls out when he
tries to put another one in, and how the pipe
won't go in the smoke hole. Why don't your
man say the same thing? Why don't you keep
"Has the Times had anything about it?" in
quired the city editor.
81 mean with current events. Why don't
you keep pace with civilization?"
"But don't see any fun in mans wife
watching length of stove pipe all summer, or
a mans pinching his finger or losing leg"
protested the city editor, "and as for bowling
you ought to see our squib man an hour and
half after he has drawn his salary"
"Wahl" squeaked the tough woman con-
temptuously. "That's all the sense you've
got! Why don't he represent the man on the
step ladder, holding up the pipe and yelling for
the hammer? Tell me that?' demanded the
tough woman still more toughly. while his
wife has it in her pocket all the time. Why
| don't he come out like man and say while
| the chap was making one length OF pipe ut
| another falls on his head and makes him dance
| like pop corn? Why does he skulk for four
teen years and let every otter hpaper say 1t
first?"
"Msybe he was waiting to see the news au-
| thenticated," suggested the city editor.
"Some OF our exchanges are not as careful with
the facts as we are"
"What does he know about facts? Why don't
he show some principle and state fatty that
after falling off the ladder and kicking the
stove to pieces, tie man sends for stove man
to put it up and then finds that it don't draw2
Why don't he show as much courage as the
| other papers?"
"But, why didn't he send for the stove man
| in the first placer" argued the city editor.
That would have spoiled the humorl The
fun is in having the chap try to put it up and
fail"
III don't see any humor in that" mussd the
city editor. "If he had put it up without JAM
ming his finger or cracking his skull, or kick
| ing it to pieces and then running up bill to
| have it done for him in the end, 1 should see
| something pleasant in it. But can't see any
| fun in what oou say"
s'Then you don't propose to have humor-
| ous article about putting up stoves this year,
/ either?" snorted the tough woman.
81 don't see my way clear to it." sighed the
| city editor. 1.-THE man who put up the stove
might not like it, and then fits in all the other
| papers and we see it, we might copy 1T without
being responsible for it"
Eyes, 'sniffed the tough female, and I've
| to go among my relations and have 'em point
| can't paralyze them with an Eagle account OF
| it. You Just take a rake and hoe my name of
| your list, you hear2 1 wouldn't touch your
| sheet with the tongsp' and the tough female
| strobe out with twenty-eight inch step and
| wrath in her eye.
| "Must be crazyl " muttered the city editor.
"want man to leave off saving wood to write
| up about man pinching his finger In stove
| pipe Here, Biffle run through the sermon,
| and wherever you find hell or q 'damna-
tion, or anything Of that kind, make sub
LnoI I.ff