The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1881-08-04

0QaWDeTr1eS. man VINO doesn't Know
how to eat strawberries should be compel-
ed to live on dried apples and salt mack
erel.
HOW MR. BROWN TENDEDTH BABY.
Mrs. Brown had shopping to do partic-
ular shopping that no one but herself
could attend to; but what should she do
with baby? She couldn't take him with
her and if she left him at home he was
sure to have collie and scream himself to
death, or get hungry and in either case no
one could manage him as we'll as herself.
Mr.. Brown was sure he had seen enough in
four months of Baby's existence to take
care of him for an hour or two, SO Mrs.
Brown donned hat and cloak and after
many directions In regard to anise seed tea,
warm feet jogging the cradle. pins, ETC..
sailed forth.
Brown sat quietly in his chair for about
ten minutes, and then he began to grow
tired of nothing lveier than the ticking of
the clock, and think that tending Baby was
not such exciting sport, afterall. He fidgeted
about few minutes, nuttering to himself,
Il wish the little rascal would wake up; /
guess I'll look at him, but I'll be real quiet
about it, for wouldn't disturb him for
toed over to the cradle, and after gazing
minute at the UNCONSCIOUS youngster, it &C.
CURED to him to feel if its feet were warm,
SO he stripped off the covers and turned up
the long skirts, and aftor few minutes
examination, he concluded that there was
nothing the matter with Baby's feet.
i don't want to disturb him." he said
again, ''but I guess I'll turn him over on
his side; faint good for babies to lie in one
position SO long; it makes EN- tired;" SO he
turned and patted and fused, until be sue
ceeded in doing what he was dying to do
get Baby to open his eyes.
ooh, Eaby, you re awake, ain't you? he
said, as he pretended 10 be astonished,
swell, papa'n take you right up before you
cry. Yes, yes, SO he will; there.
But Baby did not want to be taken up; he
wanted to be let alone. so he puckered up
his mouth and began to cry. Brown trotted,
patted, coaxed, felt of it's feet, looked for
but nothing would quiet it, After dosing it
with anise-seed tea, it eased up little, and
Brown exerted himself to the utmost to
amuse it. He drummed on the stove,
swung the ivy holder, until the floor was
covered with broken branches, picked up
the guitar and broke two strings trying to
show Baby how to "ring the bells, lit the
gas to make it brighter, built pyramids with
the slop- jar and wash-pitcher, went to his
wife's worsted bag and took the brightest
zephYrs to play ball with, and yet the baby
was only half happy. Then the anxious
father thought of the work box, immedi
ately emptied spools, scissors and thimble
on the bed, and began showing Baby the.
numbers on the spools, trying the thimble
first on the little fingers and then on the
toes, telling him how the scissors could be
made to do such wonderful work, but Baby
was deaf, dumb and blind to it all; no or
binary amusement could break the even
tenor of his crying way.
Brown began to get rufled. It might
even be said, not only rufi1ed but pretty
well duted; but after threatening dark clos
cts and wolves without any visible effect on
his babyship, he Strengthened out into plain
Brown again. He put on baby's cap and
cloak, hoping to deceive him into good
humor; he showed him the pictures in the
family B1ble, and after explaining them to
the unheeding child he turned to the record
and proved to him that beyond doubt he
had been born, for there was the name,
written four months previous, Baby Brown,
born" Baby looked, and seemed to
have faint idea of something; and then,
as he caught sight of the married" column,
and saw his mothers name he burst into
screams again, louder than before.
Brown was only one door from crazy BY
this time. He rumaged through the wash
stand drawer, and finding an old set of
"store teeth" fiMrs. Brown's-or his own
held them triumphantly before the child.
The child kicked + The teeth were
never found.
Happy thought One cracker pounded
fine, one teaspoon of sugar. one corner of
his already soiled handkerchief, and Brown,
advanced toward baby, this time singing,
"See, the Conquering Hero Comes He
took Baby in his arms still singing, happily
and VIGOROUSLY, when Mrs. Brown return
ed. Her first question was, How did
Baby behave?"
"oh, tiptop; no trouble at all"
"Ye-es, a little; nothing to speak Of; it's
the easiest thing in the world to amuse
him; I II take care of him any day you
want to run out"
whats the matter with my ivy?''
II just ACKNOWLEDGMENT it little
swinging it for the baby"
What's the slop jar and the pitcher do
ing in the middle of the foor?'
"Just give Baby an illustration Of pyra-
mid"
And my worsted-what of that?"
Baby was playing bo,cl, guess"
Hum, yes; Baby broke the guitar strings
too, 1suppose."
@Oh, no; Baby didn't do that; did it
showing him how to ring the bells,
And this thing in his MOUTH"
THAT? Why that's that's-you know, o
little sugar tied up in the corner of my
handkerchief: little comfort or consola-
ton, as it were, SO to speak"
Mrs Brown only looked, but such q look;
it fairly pushed Brown out Of the house,
but as he departed, she beard him saying
Historically, ..any time, '.only too happy"
9no trouble" ssgreat pleasure, easily
amused" too happy, too happy.
Excerpts From Authors.
| Schlegel: Literature is the Immortality
of speech.
Addison: He that sips of many arts
drinks of none.
! Ricard: It is in learning music that many