Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1881-08-19
IN A NUT SHE'LL.

Why is history like mountain echo ?
because it repeats itself.
The bankrupt debtors chances large
ly depend on his lie abilities.
You may give the cold shoulder to
the poor, but let it be of mutton.
mark my words r' said the school
master as he dictated to the boy at the
blackboard.
The man who spends his time and
money drinking is always getting into
tight places.
That's bark ashore" cried the pilot,
as he caught the sound of dogs yelp
from the beach.
Many man who think himself a
great gun Is nothing more than big
bore.
No man wants straw spelled back
ward on the end Of his nose.-WaterLoo
Observer.
A drum is quite an instrument for
producing noise, but a drummer can
beat it all hollow.
Scent and aroma are terms of similar
meaning, and yet roamer is frequent
ly without cent
The proyerb says: Mark the perfect
man." Proverb be blowedl Anybody
vino rises to mark us will get bruised.
A Brooklyn maiden wants to know
how to avoid having mustache come
on her upper lip. Eat onions, sis.
Now doth the busy bumble-bee
Improve each shining hour
BY driving his small sting with glee
In boys with all his power.
A new definition A Jury is a body
Of men organized to find out which side
has the smartest lawyer.-McGreqor
Ne,cs.
There is wonderful power in ina
glnation, but it gets weak in the knees
when 1t undertakes to shoulder picnic
lemonade.
Nobbs says Filkins wouldn't tell lie
under any consideration, but he has
known him to egregionsly equivocate
under skin full Of schnapps.
A man advertises for a competent
person to undertake the sale of a new
medicine, and adds that cit will be
highly lucrative to the undertaken"
A girl opened barber shop at Ho-
mer, ILL.,, and closed it in a month,
having already married one of the men
whom she shaved.
Young ladies and elephants attain
their growth at eighteen; but whereas
eighteen trunks scarcely suffice for.
young lady, the elephant has to get
along with one.
She didn't sing in accents glad
She almost spoiled the GLORIOUS.
And this was all because she had
Upon her back porous.
"a new puzzle is to find the letter
III on the legal-tender silver dollar"
To great many persons it will prove
a great deal harder puzzle to find the
dollar itself-NOr1iStOlU Herald.
William r. Dickerson, one of the
Oldest lawyers in Philadelphia, was re-
spected and fairly successful before he
went into the great Whitaker will for
gerry. Now he is broken down, PENN
less, and convict.
Nevada, Vermont and Maine pay less
internal revenue tax than any other
three states, and Illinois, Kentucky and
New York are the three that pay the
most The yield is chiefly from whis-
key and tobacco.
Reports from Kansas cities agree
that the prohibitory liquor law past last
winter is already disregarded. All the
saloons were closed awhile, but they
are now open, and the traffic suffers no
interference.
Too much work and too little food
have thrown a Baltimore girl INTO a
strange condition Of hysteria and cpl
lepsy. During several weeks she has
lain unconscious of her surroundings.
but fancving that she sees her dead
parents, to whom she talks raptur-
ously.
Mamma" said Il iive-year old, the
other day, 81 wish you wouldn't leave
me to take care of baby again. He was
SO bad had to eat all the sponge cake
and two jars of raspberry jam to amNse
him.
A witness was on the stand in an lie
gal liquor sale case. The counsel was
trying TO find out in what kind of Il
glass the liquor was handed to the wit
ness, and at last exclaimed: "What
kind of looking glass was it," ''Be-
gorra, sor, 1t was not a looking glass at
all, it was Il tumbler."
Brownson: Well, / always make it
rule 10 tell my wife everything that
happens. Smithkins: Oh, my dear
fellow, that's nothing tell my wife
lots of things that never happened at
all.
About 5000 pounds of roses are re-
quired TO produce one pound of the
altar of roses. This delightful perfume
is chiefly produced in Bulgaria, where
the value of the yield in 1880 was esti-
mated at $5,000,000
4 couple eloped at Falling Springs,
w. Va, and were holly pursued by the
girls father. His horse threw him,
breaking his leg, and the sutton consid-
erately bore him back home. This
caused a diversion, giving the young
man time to prove that he was not
gambler, as his skill at cards had led
the father to believe, but belonged to a
wealthy and respectable Boston family.
A peaceful wedding ensued.
Henry Den Thompson, the .'Uncle
josh" of theatrical fame, and wife
are enjoying the summer at their home
in Mr.. Thompson's native village, West
Swanzey, n. H. Uncle Josh" has
fine two-story-and-a-half house, hand
somely furnished, large and commo-
dious barn, and nine acre plat of
ground. His parents, Capt. and Mrs.
Rufus Thompson live near by. The
latter will celebrate their golden we'd
ding on the 10th of this month
One of Cincinnati Judges reasons
for refusing to grant divorce to man
was that he had taken his wife 'from
the domestic circle and launched her
into the midst of iniquities which sur
round the path of comely and youth
full female in a business life requiring
travel and frequent contact with worldly
people" In other words he had sent
her out rs book agent.
The Bridegroom in the Most Recent Ro-
mantle Marriage.
RICHMOND, Va, Aug. 1O.-The cruel
betrayal of an estlmable and highly
connected young lady of this city by
81 hor =, olo,l-