Connecticut western news., 1881-03-16
THE LIME KILN CLUB.
Brother Gardner tells about Dogs
 Some Curious Statistics, etc.
From the Detroit Free Press. l

the Odder Oay to Qe euecK Oat Qe keeplu of so many dogs aroun' 'em would allus keep de cullud race pool" said the old man as the meeting came to order. |" Let us analize dat statement bit. It am estimated dat de cull'd people of dis kentry own an eben 2,OOO,OOO dogs. To feed desc dogs requars at least 1,0O0,- 900 pounds of crumbs, scraps, 'tater skins, apple cores, old bones an sich, worth about two cents poun'. In od- der words, it costs about fifteen cents per week to feed big dog, which am tied up an can't forage on de nayburs. Now, what am de companionship of big yallar dog wurf to family? Would ten times fifteen cents per week offset dat? When de cold wind howls an night shuts down, isn't it wuth & two dollar bill to see de chill'en gather clus aroun' de stove-to ha'r de teakettle sing-to watch de tiah snap, an to know dat de dog am takin' sweet nap under de bed? Who created de dog? Why, de Lawd, of course. What fur? Why, | to be companion to man and pur- tect his pusson an property. Would it look berry well to see poo culrd m an git up an sniff at de handiwork of de Creator? Shall we refuse to accept de gifts created for us? If de Lawd didn't know what He war bout when he made an anamile an called it dog, den ad- wise from newspapers am all right. I have estimated dat de 100000 dogs spoken of prevent 50O,0O0 burglaries each year. Dey am de cause of 6,000,- 900 chickens not bein' stole; likewise half 0 million cords of wood likewise, ober 100000 axes an saws. I doan' believe in dog worship, but do believe dat it am our dooty to take de gifts of our Creator an make de best possible use of dem. keep Scotch terrier to bite Scotch burglars an Irish setter to sot down on Irishmen, an has one or two odders who pay dar way by killin' rats an bitin' tramps. Mex to de glo- rious sight of seein' Q 2O0-pound man wheelin' pound baby along de streets am dat of seein' cull'd man pacin' his way down town arter cod fish, wid five dogs follerin' clus at his heels in single file."
 sQUELCHED.
 Trustee Pullback, to whose care was intrusted the petition of the colored men of Michigan to the Legislature to amend the game laws of the State in certain points, arose with very solemn expression of countenance and reported that he had been automatically informed that the petition had never been pre- sented. In fact, it had been summarily sat down on and then used to stuff rat holes in the basement of the Capitol building.
 There was dead silence for some ti me and then Pickles Smith presented the following resolution
 "ResOlved, Dat dis club has lost con- fidence i'll de Legislachur of de Stait of Michigan, an dat it will have no mo truck wid dat body from dis time out"
 The resolution was adopted without dissenting vote, and the Secretary will forward notices to the President of the Senate and the Speaker of the House
 COMMUNICATIONS.
 The Secretary announced the follow ing:
 E1MrRA, N. Y., Feb. 29, 1881. Bro. Gardner, President Linae-h1la
 Club:
 DEAR SIR: Noting with pleasure from week to week the words of wisdom ut tered by you, the many thoughtful de- kind and soothing words of advice to lished proceedings of the Lime-Kiln meaning of the word "transmogri- fed"
 I heard the word at colored church i'll this city by one of the trustees, who, in discussion with another of the off cials, made use of this expression |: "What's de use in habin' rules ob de church if dey am all de time gwine to be transmogrifed ?"
 I have searched the almanac all through and am unable to find the word. By giving this matter your attention you will confer favor on your and the clubs we'll wisher,
 AHo1IAB HowE.
 "What does 'transmcgrified' mean ?" unused Brother Gardner in reply as he scratched his head and looked fixcdly at the bear-trap.
 The Rev. Penstock was on his feet like spring gun, and asked
 "Shall I inform de President what dat word means?"
 The old man turned half around and gave the reverend look which took three top buttons off his vest. Then he slowly and deliberately said:
 "Brudder Penstock, I know you has bin as fur east as Quebec, an as fur west as Chicago, but it am impossible fur one man to collect all de knowledge of de kentry au' lock it up in his own head 'spect dat at least half de mem, bers of dis club know what transmogri. fled means, an I is now about to en. tighten de other half. De only differ. ence between transmogrifed an trans. formed am all in de spellin'. I had occasion to look de word up few days ago when some base man transmogrified my bucksaw an fo' hens from my pos session to his.'
 GENIUS INVOKED.
 The Secretary of the Board of Trade of Milan, Ohio, forwarded communi- cation in which he asked whether a person suffering from chilblains could