The Dillon tribune. [volume] (Dillon, Mont.) 1881-1941, 1881-09-03
o. Ete Side.

--s~ -
The moustache is a great epicure. 1t is
bound to get the first taste Of everything.
Why Is the earth like Blackboard BE.
cause the children Of men multiply on the
face oft.
Said an Irish orator, "Never write an
anonymous letter without signing your
name on it.-Lowell Citizen.
Mother, "Now, Gerty, be good girl,
and give Aunt Julia kiss and sa, good
night" Gerty-"No, no! II kiss her
she'll box my ears, like she did papas last
night"
When you read the seductive legend in
the tobacconist's window, "Our fve.cent
cigars can't be beat" remember II they
can't be beet, they may I've cabbagc.-Ex.
change.
"All am, or ever hope to be, owe to
my wite'" exclaimed Boygs to friend the
other day. But the general impression in
the community was that B,gys' liabilities
were not very large.-Yonkers Statesman.
Lord Bute's new palace at Mount Stuart
Scotland, will cost $1,,so,ooo. Ii Mrs.
Butte gets summer suit and bonnet to
match this house, we shall all know Just
low much money there is in the Butte fam
lily.
A Lyons physician SAYS that smoking
to'ncco colors the bones, bat that's OF no
consequence. We like our bones co!ored.
1t makes fellows skeleton look so dcuced
Oriental ana aristocra.ic.-N. Y. c. Al.
vcrtiser.
The latest attempt to raise money that
We hear Of is by fellow who tried to pawn
the 'silent watches Of the night. Com
mercal Bulletin. He probably made as
mucl, as the author who tried to realize ON
sJcwels of thu mind"
1t is difficult to get the noise out Of Il boy.
OF course you can get some noise out Of
him; but you can never draw off the en-
tire supply. Ten Fourth Of Julys and
three circus parades would leave him just
rs full as he was when he begun IS. l..
Tribune.
A man is usually very deaf at O'Clock
in the morning when his wife calls him to
light the fire, but when she gets up, muir.
m,irs that tt,e poor man is tired out, and
goes down stair. he can hear the gentlest
call up stairs. "Break fast is ready.'-K.o.
kuk Constitution.
II just went out to see friend for 4 mo.
mcnt" remarked Jones to his wife, the
other evening. as he returned to his seat
il the theatre. "Indeed,' replied Mrs. j.,
with sarcastic surprise, II supposed, from
the odor of your breath, that you had been
out to see your worst enemy Jone:
Standardization Post.
They were talking of Sir Boyle Roche,
when Wicklow magistrate who was pres
ent flew off at a tangent. "When was in
danger from a Kerry BULL" said he, II sat
down and stared him full in the face"
"How did it answer" queried the breath
less bystanders. "Excellent! The Kerry
didn't offer to touch me-" "Very remark
able, very curiouss How do you account
for it?' swell, sometimes I've thought il
was because sat down on the top brancl,
Of very tall tree" said the magistrate
A young lady nearly connected Wit, :.
Congressional family called on the wife OF
foreign Minister from a non English
speaking nation. She was very slightly
acquainted with the hostess, but at once
began asking her If there were any young
men belonging to her husbands legation.
II think there are" answered the other,
inditferently. ooh, do introduce me to
them, them" gushed the visitor; II should
love to know them, and ii they speak
broken English shall Just adore them
W. Star.