Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1881-11-03
''English Spoken Here"

Paris Letter by "Nasby" in Toledo Blade.
Tibbitts tried to worry one of these Par
isian statesmen, and for once succeeded.
He stopped the party promenading with
him on the Boulevard des Italiens at a
jewelers.. who displayed in his window the
legend. English spoken" The English
spoken" in the shops is good enough, as a
| rule, to explain the nature and quality of
| the goods, and that is all. Further, the
English speaking salesman has no more
idea of English than he has of Ashantee.
Tibbitts marched in boldly, and the Eng
lish-spesking man appeared. He was a
we'll preserved, bald headed man of So,
and at him Tibbitts went.
do you speak English?"
''Oui-yees, monsieur"
Tibbitts grasped his hand enthusiastic
ally.
Its refreshingto to meet one in strange
land who can speak ones own language
"Yees, monsieur"
'Well, what I want to know is, is the
Chicago and Northwestern railroad cutting
rates the same as the other roads, and do
they cut for western-bou passengers the
same as for eastern, and do you have the
remotest idea that the cutting will be kept
up till September when I return, and does
the Pullman sleeping-car company cut the
same as the railroad companies"
"Eh, monsieur Geese Watches"
"You don't quite understand me. You
see the Pullman sleeping car company is
quite distinct from the railroad companies,
and one NAV cut rates without the other.
See? Now, what want to know is"
The bewildered Frenchman, who spoke
English, stared in wild sort of a way, but
his politeness did not desert him.
"Ees eet re watch, ze diamond, ze-"
Not yet. What want to know is, who
is this Lapham and Miller who have been
elected to fill the vacancies occassioned by
the resignation of Platt and Conkling, and
is Miller going to be tail ito Lapham's kite,
or are they both square, bang-up men,
and"
"Will monsieur look at re goods?"
No, no. Is the Chicago and Northwest
ern in this row?"
By this time the Frenchman was out of
patience.
Monsieur talks-wat you call 'im-gib-
berish. ave not re time to waste. Eef it
ees re watch"
Sir" replies Tibbitts severely, when
you announce English spoken you should
speak English, or at least understand it.
Good morning, or, as you don't understand
the planest English. bong-swoir
He had succeeded this time, and should
have rested on his laurels. But Tibbittses
alas, always overdo what they undertake.
He had extracted so much amusement from
his first experiment that he tried it over
again the next day.
He entered a similar place and COM
menced the same thing,
What want to know is, is the Chicago
and Northwestern in the railroad war, and
do you suppose the cutting of rates will
continue till September, when I return,
and"
Indeed. cannot tell you, sir. 1t is
something I do not keep the run of. You
had better apply at the American exchange
or the Herald office"
This is the best and clearest American
English. Poor Tibbitts had fallen upon a
bright American, who was turning his
knowledge of French to good account by
serving as a salesman in Paris. Mr.. Tib-
bits smiled CHASTITY smile as he bowed
himself out Of the place. Bad marksmen,
who by chance hit bulls eye, should be
very modest and refuse to shoot again
Even Napolean, great as he was, fought one
battle too many.