The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1881-08-29
Bndget's Eyebrows.
How Mrs. Eiscerus Succeeded in Improv
ing Them.

mrs. Miscerus,s' said yesterday
morning, II think that viii go down
stairs and get some hotwater and shave
before go down town.
.4Oh, let me get it, = said she quickly.
trying to seize the pitcher, Il should
really like to-
I looked at her IN surprise. Mrs.
Miscerus is usually one of the LATEST of
women, and would not walk, / believe,
if she could get any one else to walk
for her. Still imagined she was moved
by sudden and laudable disposition to
herself, insisted, inr spite of her en-
treaties, in going for the water myself.
"My DEAR" said when I returned,
''have you noticed anything peculiar
about the cooks eyebrows latelyp 1t
strikes me that they have disappeared,
or rather what there is left of them
looks like burnt stubble."
The back of Mrs. M. IS neck, which
was presented to me, suddenly grew a
beautiful pink, and there was no an
swer.
s'Mrs. Miscerus," I said severely,
twisting her around so that could
look in her face, shave you been try
ing any more experiments?''
''You suspicious creature!'' retorted
my helpmate, ''why should you accuse
me of everythinga''
''No equivocation," said 1, with in
creased severity; tell me the truth in
stantly or I'll go down and ask cook
herself; so out with it. ~
Thus threatened the story came out:
1T was all her own fault said my
wife. defanfly. 81 went down to her
room the other day to speak to her
about something, and caught her
standing before the glass rubbing her
eyebrows up and down with look of
utter despair. What is the matter,
cook I asked kindly, have you head
acheP oh, no, ma,am, she replied;
but shure it's such misfortune to have
white eyebrows. Pat is always tasin'
the life out of me about thin. If
could only turn thin black, now; but
they say that hair-dye turns thin green
Instantly remembered that about
month ago the doctor had burnt out
my throat with nitrate of silver, and
had split some on the carpet. / had
looked through my chemistry to see
what would remove the stain, and had
read at the same time that nitrate of
silver was the principal of all dark
hair-dyes and indelible inks. Happy
thought-why would not nitrate of
silver, pure and simple, work wonders
on cooks eyebrows? Moreover the
prospect of performing an experiment
being too fascinating temptation to
resist, offered my services to cook,
and they'were delightedly accepted
So 1 went down to the drug store,
bought ten grains of nitrate of silver,
and first tried it on q piece of cloth.
but it did not blacken worth a cent. L
went back to the druggist to inquire
the reason thereof, and he told me,
thinking that | wanted it to mark
handkerehiefs with, that l must iron it
off with hot iron. But still, to make
sure, I told him to put in thirty grains
more, thus making forty grains in all.
l then came home, took a tooth brush,
Git was yours, but / have thrown it
away since, so you need not be alarm
ed,) and annointed cooks eyebrows
with six coats, but still they would not
turn black; so, as last resort, I took
hot iron, and ironed them down.
Then, as had split the stuff all over
her forehead and down her nose, /
scrubbed it off with potassium iodide,
for fear the sun might turn her face
black. Nothing happened that day,
although cook said that her face burned
her; but the next morning when she
woke up she did not have the sign of
an eyebrow left, and her forehead and
nose were one dreadful, smarting blist-
er. She wept and said: 'Shure me
beauty is spoilt entirely and I was
fearfully frightened for fear it might
eat into her brain. So the minute you
left the house flew down to the drug
gist. and confessed all, my fears includ-
ed. But he consoled me, gave me some
salve, said there was no danger of
either the nitrate of silver or the potas-
ium iodide eating into her brain, and
that her eyebrows would grow out
again in about three months"
%'Mrs. Miscerus," said I, with S
groan, sis it not enough that yor
Should have nearly burned my house
down taking u steam bath for youl
complexion? Is it not enough that yor
should have ruined a new dress, car
pet, and a table-cover trying to turr
sugar into charcoal with sulphurit
acidP Would you turn my peaceful
home into a chemical laboratory /
you mist try chemical experiments, de-
not, at least, try them upon poor Bird
get. How she must bless you! If ex
plosions and things are necessary tx
your happiness, Mrs. NJ, say so, and
will start powder factory in the yard
insure your life heavily, and then move
across the bay
Her eyes snapped. There is a re
who is a client Of mine, and saw thai
| the shaft had struck home.
Mrs. Miscerus will live.