Custer chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, Black Hills, D.T. [S.D.]) 1880-1890, 1881-01-15
sTRAYED OR L

"A western reporter u0SCTlbeu q uclIs
at a party as au fait. 1t appeared al
feet"
1t is generally when you are not look
ing out for a woman that you get on hel
trail.
Michigan has produced a pig with 4
trunk. This thing should be checked
The worst about kissing a Pittsburt
girl is that you carry the marks of Goa
dust about your nose and other features
till you reach the nearest pump.
A New York clearinghouse took fire
the other night, and the flames got az
far as the pantry, when they went oul
for want of fuel.
Not everybody will be able to see the
Nautch girls, but everybody can get =
pretty good idea of their dance by put.
ting two hornets down the housemaid'e
back.
A Harvard student was fined $l5 and
costs in the police court at Cambridge.
Mass, last week, for Carrying away 4
g%rocer's sign. The fun WAS dirt cheap,
though, for the sign was heavy and the
student carried it nearly a mile.
A chap in the eighth ward, who is too
lazy to work and who has 4 sick wife,
was heard lately to rejoice III the latter
fact. Its Il piece of good luck" he
declared Il live like a fighting cock.
The sympathizing neighbors send in all
kinds of delicacies, and Jennie is too
sick to eat anything, So | collar them"
"Why, Jennie, YOU foolish girl, come
into the house; what are you out in the
snow for without wraps" "Oh. moth
ing much, nia, You see Augustus has
just called, and here are his footprints
in the Snow. Pm measuring to get the
right size Tor those slippers, and, do you
know, | don't believe I've got half
enough cloth III them
We have discovered why young ladies
have become So fond of wearing long
fringe. Recently III "A crowd, il gentle
mans coat bottom became tightly en-
tangled in the fringe of Il young lady's
dress. 1T is evident he said, smiling,
that | am very much attached TO you,
and that ! cannot make up my mind to
tear myself away" Fringy, but a fact.
what is hell 2" asked a Lutheran
.>unday-school teacher of a boy in class
last Sunday. "A shirt with u button Oft,
ma'arn,' replied the boy. Explain
yourself; what do you mean sir" de-
manded the meek-spirited but surprised
teacher. Well | heard my pa say to
my ma the other morning, when he put
on a shirt with the back button Oft.
Well. this is hell That's all | know
about it,"
On a recent Sunday, when the pastor
of one Of the leading Presbyterian
churches of It. Louis was absent from
his pulpit, several persons expressed
dissatisfaction at seeing Il stranger in the
pulpit, and one lady said she would not
have come if she had known that Dr..
WAS not going to preach. An elder
standing near very promptly replied ::
Madam, the worship Of Dr.--will be
resumed next sabbath
Herbert Spencer says: Life is the
definite combination OF heterogeneous
changes, both simultaneous and success
81 e. in correspondence with external
coexistcnces and sequences" But can
Mr.. Spencer prove it? He shouldn't
make such rash statements unless he
has .the papers to corroborate them.
Life may not be one of those things,
after all. This campaign has been too
profile Of wild exaggerated statements.
An eminent preacher tells this story
AS | was coming out Of church one
Sunday my wife remarked, You had
better burn that sermon it isn't worth
repeating anywhere.' L shall do no
such thing | answered, a little vexed
the sermon is up to my average She
persisted, and | said little more. But Il
year or two afterward on a bright and
CHEEKY sunday in May-one of those
days that make a discourse 20 of itself
| took that sermon again. And as We
came down the aisle after the service,
she whispered without the slightest
notion that she had heard it before. i
would mark that to preach on ex-
changes. 1t is better than common"