Arizona weekly citizen., 1881-08-21
A FLUSH AND A STRAIGHT.
Deacon slidsrback's Experience With whisksy
 Poker.

 town. Important matters connected with the church often compel him to stav out late in consultation with the other deacous, and upon these occasions the spiritual condition of the benighted heathen IS discussed n the back room of Deacon Magruder's grocery. James Bowers, a worthy young man, but very entertaining and lively companion, takes part in these discussions once in a while. MT. Bowers IS a discreet young man.
 James reads in paper that an Elmira man had devised a game of whiskey poker to be played with the truly good and harmless author cards; so he purchased pack and took them along to the next conference on the prOpOga- tion of the faith among the Esquimax, held in Deacon Magruder's back room on Saturday night. Deacon Sliderback and Deacon Magruder had an argument about the amount of saving grace an Esquimax could absorb, which was in- terrupted by James Bowers making some fiippant remark about the bears grease and suggested a game of authors. The two deacOns readily assented, and, after playing a while, James voted the game dull and unfolded some ideas about making 1t more interesting. He knew the two deacOns were wholly lg- nOrant of the national game of draw, and he explained to them the relative value of palrs, two pairs, and so On- The dea- cons seemed to catch on very readily, and agreed to play for the cider to make the game more interesting.
 James dealt the hands, and explained that five cards turned down on the table constituted the widow hand and that the man holding the age had the privilege Of exchanging his hand for the widow pr knocking and pass ing the privilege to the next. Deacon ShdeIback held the age, and, being known in the community as the friend of the widows and fatherless, he sus- taineC his reputation by picking up the "widOw' Deacon Magruder drew "EvangeHne' to i'll from the hand that Deacon Sliderback discarded, and laid down the "Marble Faun," which was snapped up by Bowers to pair with ''The House of Seven Gables" They drew around twice, when Deacon Slderback knocked, and they all stood their hands and showed down, Deacon Magruder held LOngfellOw fu0 on Dickens, Dea- con Siderbaek exhibited two pairs, Cooper up, and James had three Haw- thOrnes, giving Sliderback a point for the lowest hand. The game went along all right untiI each of the deacOns had four points and James only two, when 1t was agreed that the man getting five points first would be stuck for the drinks. It was Deacon Sliderback's deal, and he passed the pack to James, who cut the "StOnes of Venice" for the bottom card, taking sly glance at 1t as he did SO. The deacon tossed around the cards, and Deacon Magruder stood pat and knocked, while James picked up the widow" and threw down his hand. | one of the cards being Seven Lamps l of Architecture" which Deacon Slider i back eagerly picked up.
 What have you gOt% said Deacon | Magrudei' to Mir. Bowers.
 1.-Two small pairs, 'Thackeray and l George Eliot, " replied James, showing l down "Pendennis" "Yanity Fair" and | "ROmola."
 "Fve got Hugo straight" remarked l Deacon Magruder, laying down ~Les l Miserables,' "L'Homme Quit Rit," Ninety -three," ''roilers of the Sea, and | Napoleon the Little," and I guess that's the boss hand ont
 Hold on" clipped in Deacon Slider back. "You say it's straight don't yOu?"
 ~Yes. that's what I call it. What have you got?"
 Well, I've got Q Ruskin hush," re- marked Deacon Sliderback, exultingly, | showing down Modern Painters" 'sDeu- | calIOn," Grown of Wild Olives" Seven 1 Lamps Of Architecture" and Stones of Venice"
 "No, you don't" said Deacon Ma gruder; that's no better than my Hugo | straight"
 "HugO to thunderr' responded Slider | back, getting excited; "I claim a flush, | and that beats any straight in the deck l Any fool knows that"
 "DOn't call me a fool, Deacon Slider | back. I've played as much poker as you have, and l say your hand is only | straight"
 q say it's flush
 "All right, then; mines flush, and it l beats yours, because it's apat, and you filed"
 "I wasn't going to say anything, | Deacon MagTuGer, about that card you | dropped under the table, but when a | member of the church stOOps to such a | thing to get out of setting up his three | glasses Of cider in his own store, 1t was | time he was shown up. won't men, ton 1t outside this time, though, if you l give in beaten"
 Do you mean to accuse me of cheat ! ing, Deacon Sliderback," said Magruder, | in tone of suppressed emotion
 'sIhats about the size of it, I'm pained | to say, and 1t grieves me that professor of religion should"
 ''Oh, you dry up, you old fraudr' yelled | Magruder. Didn't I see you deal the | Stones of Venice to yourself off the bot tom of the pack, and never say anything about it?7
 You're liar"
 You're another, yOu dumfounded old 
 Then they clinched and fought all | over the floor, tipped over a gallon of Il mOlasses, and widowed around in the | contents Ot an upset four barrel, and | when the neighbOrs came in Deacon MagTUder was sitting on the floor with his back against a potato sack. Deacon was doubled up in a bushel Il basket with his arms hanging outside. | and his legs pointing up toward the salt | cOdfish hanging from the rafters, and | both were glaring savagely and pufiing | hard for wind. while James Bowers, Esq, was lying on the counter choking with | laughter, after having gathered up the authors" cards and scattered a genuine | poker deck over the hOor.-BOston Star |
 A CONTEMPORARY gives the startling | that 1t would require ten | kilns of one hundred thousand bricks | each to furnish one million bricks It is | n good thing that figures won't lie, else |