The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1881-05-03
FAOETIE.

81 wish L was a pudding, mamma
"WhyF' 'Cause l could have lots O
sugar put into me.n
There is plenty of room on the top
as the bald headed man said to his full
beard--Boston Commercial Bullet,
Did you ever see a bald-headed maj
who didn't have such a ..beautiful heaC
OF hair" till " that fever" or something
or other, took it Off
One of the inexplicable phenomena o
nature is the effect the emptying of
pan of ashes has in suddenly reversing
the direction of the wind.
He who seeks a nomination for Office
and finds it not, is like unto him whc
attempts to sit on a chair that has beer
suddenly jerked away.-HackensacA
Republican.
A very d~isagreeable old gentleman
dies. A nephew. charged with the duty
OF preparing his epitaph, suggests.
deeply regretted by all who neyes
knew him."-Bg6alo cypress.
A school teacher in Iowa had the debt
OF the world all nicely figured up to e
cent, when a Chicago man went and
got trusted for a Goldfish, and forgot
whether it cam to II or 27 cents. 1t
was awful mean on the shoolmaster.
A nobby young traveller in Texae
went into a store and asked the pro-
prietor if he had black kids. The
young man doesn't see why the store
keeper came over the counter and broke
up all the furniture with him.
we noticed a somewhat novel exhibit
ton of the national colors the other day,
as a young lady ahead of us was trip
ping d~aintily across the street, wearing
red hose. a hole in the heel of the same,
and blue slippers.-LocAport Union.
Scene at Harvard. Chinese class.
Student (who has just failed in a Chi
nese sentence, to professor:) Thou tea
chestr' Professor (furious)-"Whatl
you dare to" Student (calmly pro-
ceeds)-"Thou tea-chest, a most diff
cult language" Cred fire. curtain.)
Had again.-Young Hardup: Glad
/ met YOU got a half a sov.P Stodgers
borrowed five shillings with alacrity:)
les, certainly, my boy, 1 have. Young
Hardup: All, then I'll get you to let
me have it, and that'll make fifteen
Judy.
s'Say, boy, say!' exclaimed a hot
looking man with a valise, what is the
quickest way to get to the carsP'
run" yelled the boy; and the hot
looking man was SO pleased with the
information that if he could have got
near enough to the boy he would have
given him something-something that
he would have remembered.
Foote was talking away one evening
at the dinner-table Of . man of rank.
when, at the point of one of his best
stories, one of the party interrupted him
suddenly. with an air Of most consider
ate apology; II beg your pardon, Mr..
Foote, but your handkerchief is half u
of your pocket. {" Thank you. sir" said
Foote, replacing it; .'you know the
company better than I do" and finish
ed his joke
A Yankee tobacco-chewer was in the
habit of declaring about once a month
that he would 'never chew another
piece" but broke his pledge as often
as he made it On n occasion, short
ly after he had ssbroken off," he was
seen taking another chew. why"
said his friend, '.you told me you had
given up that habit. but I see you are at
It again" s.Yes," he replied, 81 have
gone to chewing and left off lying"
'.Mr. Thompson presents his compli-
ments to Mr.. Simpson and begs to re-
quest that he will keep his piggs from
trespassing on his grounds" "Mr.
Simpson presents his compliments to
Mr.. Thompson, and begs to suggest
that in the future he will not spell pigs
with two gees" mi. Thompson's
respect to Mr.. Simpson, and will feel
obliged if he will add the letter E to the
last word in the note just received, so as
to represent Mr.. Simpsons and lady"
::sMr, Simpson returns MI. Thompson's
letter unopened, the im~pertinence it
contains being only cqualed by its vul-
gnrity."