The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1881-06-02
Why Bill Bares DIDN'T Harry.

| ~ say, Jim," said Ned Dalton, as he
Poked up the camp fire, "why didn't Bill
Bates and Sue Parker get married. When
L was at the Snake Creek protracted meet
Ing last spring, it sorter struck me that
they wus goin' to run the same brand"
"Well, said Jim Walker, rs he pillowed
his head on saddle, 'that wus the general
collaboration, but it all got busted up on &C.
count of..what happened at the fish fry the
Camp on the San Bernardo"
tWhat, Bill oidn't get on no hifalutin'
| brazoo, like he's alters doin', and stir up a
| rowl" inquired Ned.
mo, it warnt that, replied Jim, ssbul
1t might jest as we'll have been, 'cauBc Bill
| Bates predickcrment would'v knocked any
courtin' match high'n'er kite. You see, ali
| thcr gals from Damons Mound aud up
| along Turkey Creek wer' at the fish fry, and
| everybody was havin' 'er hog killin' time,
but ther day was hot, and while Bill Bates
wus dancln' with Sue Parker every set; so
as to keep her penned up from the rest of
| bows he got to swcatin' worser'n'er niger
at or lection. Bill knew when he got to
swcatin' he wouldn't smell good enough to
| stay in company so he asked two or three
tellers who was loafn' round watin' fur the
grub to be sot out, to 60 up the creek
piece and have swim. They wus willin',
and when they got to 'er bend in ther creek
a short distance from ther fish fry thoy
commenced to shuck their clothes. Bill lie
pulled off everything 'ceptin' his shirt, and
then sot down On 'er log tocool off. Thar
wus 'cr yaller jackets nest in thcr log, and
ther bulge of Bill Bates anaternly wus
kivering the hole to the nest, and while
Bill sot thar them yallcr Jackets held 'er
| nNpunnShnn nr ~ oF
made up their minds that they wus going
to raise the blockade. / guess everybody
knows that you don't have to spit in 'er
yaller Jackets eye to make him mad, cause
ther insect is born mad and dies In thcr
same fix. While Bill was roosting on ther
log, scratchn' and 'er coolin' of himself.
ther yaller jackets riz in their wrath and
Bill he riz with em. They lifted him like
a torpeder, and when he hit ther ground
he was bleatin' loudor'n 'er bull calf, and
'er hundred yaller jackets was up under
his shirt, spurrin' him in ther flanks, and
maxim HIM buck over the ground like an
unbrokc stud. He clawed at his shirt and
yelled to the boys to come and help him
knock thcr darn things off, but ther BOYS
laid down behind logs and told him thew
warn't no burned fools. Well, thcr WALLER
jackets kept poppin' their spurs to him
fust on one side, then on t'other, till Bill
got sortcr crazy, and he skedaddled down
the creek, headin' square for the fish fry.
Sue Parker, with 'er lot of other gals and
'er parcel ofgaloots wus up the road plckin
blackberries, when they suddenly heard
thcr all frcdcst yellin' and snortin', and
ther next instant thar wus Bill Bates gal
lopin' by 'em faster n 'er scared cayotc and
tryn' his level best to drag his only re-
mainln' garment over his bead. The Gals
weakened on thcr lst glimpse and made 'er
break for the bush, okreamin' and askin'
what it was kinder innocent like, and thcr
fcllers who was galantin' 'cm turned sorter
red in the face and said they guessed
somebody's horse broke loose somewhere
up ther creek and that they had better 20
up and help catch ther aIermal. In no
time the whole fish fry wus talkin' of Bill
Bates scanderlus actions, aud Aunt Dero-
thy Briggs said 1t wus burnin' shame, and
he oughtcr be hung, but Widow Build ,ck
said his daddy wus TUX down with ther
janders fore Bill wus born, aud went crazy
and she thought insanity wus in Bill's
blood, considcrin' as how she had often no.
ttced kurious look In his eye. The thing
was talked about all over the ncighborhooti
!: and Bill writ to Sue Parker expla,nin' az
how 1t happened, but she said he was dis.
graccd IN the community and she dldn t
want nuthin' to do with him. Bill also
heard it talked around that her folks said
they'd put the dogs on hm If he ever come
nigh the house again; and feelin' bad over
1t, he jlned Pete jennings herd, and went
up the Kansas trail. That's how Bill and
Sue Parker didn't marry"