Nebraska advertiser., 1881-03-17
PITH AND POINT.

Are horses wounded in battle called
hoTs dU combat?
Are all the victuals mixed when the
sailors have a mess?
1t doesn't require pair of horses to
drag out miserable existence.
Many persons confound the spirit of
liberty with the liberty of spirit.
If thine enemy revile thee, revile not
again. Present him with a guinea
hen.
A young mans friends object to him
being loose, but somehow they have an
equal objection to his being tight.
Young swell-'I say, boy, what do you
do with your clothes when you've worn
them out?'' Boy-"Wears 'em 'Ome
again"
MARY Jane, have you given the gold
fish fresh water?'' No ma am; what's
the use? They haven't drunk up what's
in there yet"
When a dead mans property is put
under the hammer, it is the sale of eff
fects, but when man gets sea-sick, it's
tne eject OF sail.
In letter to friend, you~g lady
states that she is not engaged, but that
she sees a cloud above the horizon about
as large as mans hand.
Fragment of letter written by a
maniac who had formerly superb in
tellect: Il am sad and uneasy, like a
Goldfish who feels his wings growing"
Darkly the humor
Muses. ON fate;
Ghastly experiment
Life seems TO him,
Subject of merriment
SOmber and grim;
Is it his doom or is't
Something he ate!
A Scotch clergyman, who was given
to absence of mind, was once on his way
to preach in church little outside of
Edinburgh. The wind was strong in
his face, so that in stopping to take
pinch of snuff he turned his back to it,
but forgot to turn again to his original
direction, and so walked back into the
city without knowing it.
A young lady once limited to a gentle
man that her thimble was worn out, and
asked what reward she merited for her
industry. He sent her answer in the
shape of thimble, on which the follow
ing lines were engraved:
A man bought a gallon of gin to take
home, and, by the way of label, wrote
his name upon a card, which happened
to be the seven of clubs, and tied it to
the handle. A friend, coming along
and observing the Jug, quietly remarked,
That's an awful careless way to leave
that liquorr' "Why?" said Tom.
Because somebody might come along
with the eight of clubs and take it."
Little Jean, 20 months old, was max
ing persistent efforts to stand on her
head. Her mother said, II don't see
what gave her the idea. She never saw
any one do it." In few minutes Jean
came running with her picture-bOOk
open at the illustration in Mother Hub
bard,
And when she came back he stood on his head,
and, pointing triumphantly to the up
side-dOwn dog, said, 'See! seer
''You don't seem to have made much
money by bringing your hogs down here
was remarked by farmer who had
driven his hogs seven miles to town and
then sold them for precisely what was
offered him before he left home.
''Well, no" said the agriculturist pen
sively. Il haven't made much money,
but them" Frightening, ''yOu know
had the company of the hogs on the
way down.
Not long since, in one of our neigh
boring villages, young lady who had
been engaged to fine young man for
some time met richer person, and
soon put off the old love for the new.
She wrote to the old lover requesting
him to return her photograph. Here
was a chance for revenge, which he
took by sending the fOllowin note. Il
would gladly comply with your request,
but if do so it will spoil my suchre
deck. have a collection of photo |
graphs which use for playing cards,
and l don't wish to break it BY giving
away the deuce of diamonds. ."-OI CItg !
Derrick.