The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1881-08-24


"You all knew Sandy Mcpherson"
said our colonel.
Intimately Perfectlyp GAS
we'll as my own brother, sirp most of
MS replied though, if the truth be told,
there was not man at the mess-table
who had ever heard of Mcpherson be-
fore. You see, il was the commanding
officer who spoke, and it was always
risky saying him nay when he expected
yea.
"They used to call him, you recol-
lect, 'I'he Great Unwashed, a vulgar
bat appropriate sobriquet, nevertheless"
count of his burly and previously ugly
person unwashed, by reason of his ac-
credited scant acquaintance with brown
Windsor, spring water and the functions
OF the dhirzees and dhobies-i. g., tailors
and washermen of the land.
'On his coffee estate in the noun
talns and among his undraped and un.
scrubbed coolies, this disregard for the
comforts and conveniences of life went
for nothing perhaps it was even in
keeping with the surroundings but
when he came down to this city, walked
in its public gardens and esplanade, or
showed with its swells at the band, his
appeR Rrauce was something too outra-
geous, and his brother X. O. BIS, mean-
ing Knights OF the Coffee Berry, and not
as you might suppose, of the Order Of
the Bath, dressy men hereabouts, what
ever else they are on their plantations,
cast him completely iuto the shade by
their get-up and Porgeousness.
"As for the spinsters and young widow
of the station there was scarce one but
who fought shy of admitting him into
hor presence as morning visitor, much
less as a suitor, though many of these
blooming ladies were on the sharp look
out for the silken chains Of matrimony,
and Barl1is- that is to say, McPherson-
was, as they knew, willing.
"But, disadvantages of person and at
tire Notwithstanding, he was a right
good fellow, this same gentleman. He
was honest, hard working, thrifty, sim
ple-minded, and, from being mere ad-
venturer without interest, friends or
money, he had, self-helped only, saved
up the bawbees little by little had
bought patch after patch, acre after
acre, of virgin land; cut down its timber,
cleared it, planted it, and now he had
squatted down free from membranes
on Ailsa Craig, as he called his property,
as pretty and as fruitful small coffee
estate as could be found in one of the
most picturesque districts of this lovely
island.
"Now you young gentlemen who are in
the habit of lawn-tenising, afternoon
teaing, talking, spooning, walking
driving, with all the feminines, plain
and colored, of this place, and who
think that you have only to ask and be
received-which 1 beg and entrtat you
will not put to the test, cutting up the
mess and so on-can't perhaps realize
to yourselves the difficulties the worthy
am speaking of had met with in ever
this overstocked matrimonial empo
rum. The Anglefralls, the Hunters
the Hookers, lots of girls whom viii
not name, had snubbed or turned NJ
their pretty noses at him when he came
a-wooing, and so, ,aolenS c0lenS, he re-
NAMED bachelor, matchmaking hi
ill-luck and venting his disappointment
upon the backs of Sinking and recu
SAINT Tamil coolies, the recognized natu
raj enemies of coffee and the scape
goats of its cultiYators.
+" Then as last resource he sough
from his brethren of the berry aronnI
counsel as to the most advisable metho'
of getting the so needed helpmate, an,
the first man he consulted was Her
Thaler, a successful and rich German
whose estate bordered on Ailsa Craig.
$3.50, so 7 said that parsonage. Ser
is noting more easy. Zave off zat ragge
beard, burn in re fire zose old clode
not fit for 'Oundsdltch or any Jude
Strasse, buy Won big tob, mein friend
get ZONE Europe muster coats and re
return to re frauleins and vidder frau
vid re monish bag in re 'ands. If ze
viii not ave zou, zey will take re rupee
frost 'em for zat, my zon.'
"But the accommodation was unpalai
able, and to a great extent impracticablC
so another .fdls AchdteS was appeale
to, one Jack le Geste, a man mucn ad
dicted to chaff and practical joking.
In this land of pearls and preciou
stones, no 60, dear boy, said Mr.. le G