The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1881-03-22
Sense and eNnusense.


Austria got Hungary, and she wants
a slice Of Turkey. 4
Ironton, o., has been terrified by al
ghost that flies in the air.
A sealed proposal-The one. which is |
answered by t'yes," with kiss.
An angry man is not a ct companion
for anybody, not even for himself.
1t is said that John Russell Young
will be appointed Minister to China.
The President has nominated II. G..
Pearson for postmaster OF New York.
Dogs never get dead broke, they al.
ways have scent How's this fer cur
rency2
It is not possible for three people to
keep the same secret unless two Of them
are dead.
1t was Connecticut minister whose
salary was $25 year and half the fish
he caught.
Even poverty is better than avarice, for
while poverty wants many things avarice
wants rything.
What sort of a temper has the tenn
perature lis standing army ever
allowed to sit DOWN.
Marrying by telegraph and telephone
has become very popular. 1t prevents
the preacher from kissing the bride.
A bank is a bad place for delicate
young clerks and bsld-headed cashiers
so much exposed to drafts. you know.
General John C. Fremont, now Gov
ernor of Arizona, beats them all. His
annual message was only half column.
Connecticut could raise $4,000 men
inside of sixty days for q war, and not
more than half would want'to be Col
onels.
Sin resembles the apples that grow by
the Jordan, which are ruddy and tempt
ing on the outside, but within dry as
ashes.
The movement to have eggs sold by
the pound rather than by the dozen is
believed to be conspiracy against the
bantam hen.
Mark Twain has made one hundred
and twenty-five thousand dollars out of
his books, and an equal sum out of his
lectures and plays.
Does this strike you as being light:
Why is the match safe Would it be
fair to call red-nosed shoemaker a
sherry cobbler
There is no longer any complaint of
q Hayes atmosphere at Washington al
though there is a General Hazen the
weather department
When maiden gets too old to catch
husband she takes to the platform and
goes around lecturing on "What shall
we do with our daughters ?"
When certain ladies fail in making
match the difficulty, it is said,is no, that
they have no birthstone, but that they
have no spark.-N. 2. Herald.
Nervous Headache, Periodical Head
ache, Neuralgia Headache, are cured bv
DIR. METTAUR'S HEADACHE AND
DYSPEPSIA PILLS. Price Is cts.
The man who revenges every wrong
that is done him has no time for anything
else. If you make your life a success
you can afford to let the dogs bark as
you 60 by.
"You tongue too much" said the
bruised horses to the heavily loaded
wagon. "Wheel do the best we can;"
was the reply. "Then let's wagon" !"
said the tongue.
"You are weak" said woman to her
son, who was demonstrating against her
marrying again. "Yes, mother, am"
be replied, II am so weak that 1 can't
60 q step-father.
| The ladies who some time since were
unable to go out, having taken LYDIA
E. PINKHAM's VEGETABLE COMPOUND,
are quite recovered, and have gone on
their way rejoicing.
When fellow awakens to the fact
that he has gone to bed on the floor,
and hung his clothes upon the bed. the
first natural question is, "Where did !
get those pickles9 ?"
j Many people will be glad to know
that the price Of Denig's Cough Balsam
has been reduced to 25c. bottle. 1t is
now the cheapest, as we'll as the best,
for all throat and lung affections.
i A young lady was carressing q prett,
spaniel and murmuring: II do love 9
nice dog!" "Ah," sighed a dandy
standing near, 81 would l were dog
"Never mind" retorted the young lady
sharply, you'll grow
The printing press used by Benjamin
Franklin when an apprentice to biz
brother James has been placed on ex'
hibition 10 the Old South Church il
Boston. 1t is cumbersome hand press
worked by bar and screw.
A Chicago society offered last year /,
prize of one hundred dollars for the bes
e treatise on the question, "How best t.
: destroy rats" The prize has just beel
y Awarded to Doctor Burnett. of Philadel
+ phia, who answered, "Increase the mum
t ber Of cats"
He came rushing into the ferryboa
!, the other night. He shot in like al
i electric light, Most of his coat wa
e gone. "What's the matter2" asked
y passenger. "Oh, nothin'," he said
"only whenever i'm broke ! get one O
u the hackmen cross the street to chas
), me through the ferry-gate. They'r
y tumblin' to the racket. though, an mex
. week I'll have to try the button dodg
}. in the rush"
y A citizen of Galveston stepped int
. . the office of the News and said: II hea
: that the Bible has been revised. Do yo
. know IL any important changes hav
+ been made "a good many, / be
- leve. "Is there any mistake abou
y Ananias being struck dead for lying ?
"No, / believe not" "Well, if wa
you would find out about it," and b
strolled cut as unconcernedly as 20
'. please.
Q, The LOYALTY of the Southern wome
o. to the Confederate cause was proverbia
,s A Mobile miss who had pet poodl
as was sitting on the front piazza one aftel
d, noon while detachment of troops ",
to passing. Suddenly the little favori
lg darted from her lap and ran toward Il