The Pickens sentinel. [volume] (Pickens, S.C.) 1871-1903, 1881-01-13
HUMORS OF THE DAY.

The man who drinks 'alf an 'alf gets
fen off, .. Cd. ~ .
IT is the fiat who loves to have others
fiatter him. .,,' 49,.
MANY broth Of boy has been re-
duced to a supe at the theatre.
A MAN out in Nebraska died the other
day while blowing his nose. IT was a
fatal blow.
You can tell when O. reporter is poinp
to make point by the way he sharpens
his pencil.
To remove superfuous hair-Send
your we'll filed mattress to be done over
by cheap upholsterer
The book agent knows he is solid
when he wipes his feet on door mat in
which the word "TVelcome" is woven.
OUT in the mines they shoot O. man
who refuses to drink his soup straight
from the plate. .-EIn1irG Free Press.
A D1sFIaURED man feels bad, Of course,
about being marked for life; but when he
is marked for death he must feel worse.
AN exchange says: 'Streams ali over
the county are running dry" This is O
canard. When stream is dry it can't
run.
A LITTLE girl who was much petted
said: 'T like sitting on gentlenen's
knees better than on ladies'; don't you,
ma."
OF forty cases on the docket of the
Fayette County (Texas) District Court,
nineteen are for divorce. Only twenty
one murders!
WHEN Brutus and Cassius were bows
the girls used to say that Brute was such
nice fellow, but they preferred Cash.
The girls haven't changed one bit.
"WILn you take 'em on the half shell ?"
asked the agreeable oyster opener.
''No," said the stranger, regardless of
expense, ''whole shell or nothing"
INDIGNATIoN will fill the breast of every
artist when we state that two men were
arrested in n lumber yard tho other day
because they We're suspected of q design
on wood.
MIsTREss-"Mary This isvenerablegoose
is tough enough to break ones teeth"
Maid "Yes'm; didn't you tell me-,
maam, that you wanted it for u piece dc
reSist01lce?"
OF miSerly man who died of soften
ing of the brain, n local paper said: ellis
head gave way, but his hand never did
His brain softened but his heart
couldn't
A PROVIDENCE paper says prominent
citizen of New Hampshire died "of in
fammation Of the bowels, aged forty EIGHT
years" Pretty old inflammation, we
should say.
Two children in the Tulleries were ex
tolling the qualities of their respective
papas. "Mine is as tall as the garden
wall, said one. "My papa can sec
over the garden wall" "And mine. too.
when he has his hat on"
A WITNESS under cross-examination.
who had been tortured by n lawyer for
several hours, at last asked for glass of
water. '"Ihere," said the Judge, 'T
think you'd better let tho witness go
now, as you have pumped him dry"
NATIVE Alaskan ladies of fashion wear
entire suits made Of sealskin, drink whis-
Ky and eat whales blubber; and they
are not bit stuck up about it, either.
There is moral concealed in the bust
ness end of. this paragraph.
The late Rev. DIR. Symington not feel
ing well one Sunday morning, said tohis
beadle, who was "character:" 'Man
Robert, wish you would preach for me
to-day" 81 Gamma do that" promptly
replied Robert, "but I often pray for
you.
"OLD woman, how do you sell beets?"
asked a loafer of an old vegetable woman
in the market, and she replied: 'L just
tell em I'll trust EN-, and then give 'em
stuff that looks nll right and amt good
for nothing. They don't like the sell
either"