Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1881-03-20
Little JOhny's3Anecd0tes.

Possums has tobacco pouches on
the stomach, and one time there was a
pOSSum which was show.
he had a bunch of fire-crackers, cause
it was the Fourth of July: The Teller
he took one off and put it in his mouth,
and then he lit one Of the others and
held 'em out to the 'possum, and said:
Have cigarette?' The possum it
snatched 'em, and crammed 'em in it's
pouch, and wank it's eyes, and said
CHOW, you can jest wistle for your
old cigarette, for l am regular savings
bank, I am"
But bimeby the crackers they went
off wild, and you never seen such a
busted bank like that possum.
My uncle Ned had a possum which
was a pet. and he had a little music
box too, but my sisters young man
he plays the fiddle, and Sammy Doppy
he can crow like roosters. One day
the piano was moved out of the parlor
and Uncle Ned he wound up the
music-box and looked the other way,
and the possum it Sneaked up and put
the music-box in the tobacco pouch
Of it's belly, playin' the Sweet BY
and By real nice. Then Uncle Ned
he went into the kitchen and called
Mary, the housemaid, and said {" Mary,
you go in the parlor and tell your
mistress when she gets done playin'
the piano would like tosee her.
Bimeby Mary she comes a running
back, wife like sheet, and said:
ooh, if you please, sir. that nasty cat
of you'rn has ct the piapner.'
And now I'll tell you a little story
about snakes. When Mr. Pitchel was
a missionary preacher in Africa he
seen natiff niger trying for to
catch long snake. MI. Pitchell he
said: " What, do you mean to take
that Teller in your hands!'' The
natiff niger said he did, if his gods
was willing that he should get a tail
hold. Mr.. Pitchell he said: ':Ain't
them kind of snakes pizen." and the
niger said "I've ct ten this morning,
and feel pretty well. Mebby they
would pizen me if I was greedy like
hogs"
A other time when Mr.. Pitchell was
there a natiff niger which was the
king he said to him: ''You come to
the palace next Sunday and preach to
us poor converted heathens and will
have mighty good dinner ready for
you when you have got done.'' So
Mister Pitchell he went and preached,
and while he was preachin' he kept
a smellin' the dinner which was be-
ing boiled mighty nice, and every
time he smelt it he stopped to get
good Whit of it. Bimeby the king he
got mad and said: "You just go on
with the preach. It amt nobody but
that galoot. Sambo Caesar. He was
always scoffin' vile he was alive,
and now the garn dasted infdel
pushed up the pot lid for to interrupt
our devotionsi''
If I was king I would take my big
saword and cut all the wicked infidels'
heads off, yes, indeed, but when you
cut hens head off the preacher he
comes mex day and eats her. Hens
lay eggs, and the rooster fops his
wings and crows when he thinks his
self better fighter than other
rooster, but the feller On the new
steeple he don't crow. and if he could
lay eggs they would all be busted.
Eggs is incest with ham and sossidge
and buckwheat cakes, and whole
apple pie all for your own self. Bill
dad, that's the new dog, he likes cold
apple-dumplings, but TOWser that's
the dog, died--he had a wort on his
nose.
The dog is the king of beasts, but
snakes is more like cells. My sisters
young man says one time in Indy
there was a man had to travel a long
jurney ON foot, and so he hired q
snake-char1ner to protect him, cos the
snakes there is mighty bad lot. So
the man and the charmer they started.
ard after they had gone about q mile
the charmer he stopped and said ::
CT guess it's about time for me to
begin a earning my money So he
took foote out of his close and began
to play q tune, and pretty soon some
snakes crawled out of the grass for to
see what was up. And bimeby some
more come and stood around too, till
after q while there was bout a thous-
an hundred big pizen snakes all
around 'em and the man was fright
ened most to death. Then the charm
er put away his foot and said: 'sYou
can't find any fault with such charmin'
as that, 1 guess, can youe Now, if you
are ready to go on jest gather a club
and wade in, and if we are so FORUM
ate as to get through we will come
pretty soon to a jungle where you can
hire a cousin of mine, which can
charm lions and taggers.
sIorronalifioc