The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1881-11-04
QUEER CUSTOMERS.
ThesFork OF Death, the Great Soup Eater
and the Host Whose Six Guests Were
Always Late.

In NJ. Eugene Chavett's witty and curious
little volume, published in 1867, "Restaura-
teurs ct Restaures," some entertaining por-
traits are given of eccentric guests, celebrated
at Partisan cafes. One of the most famous of
these was Courier, commonly called "The
Fork of DEATH" habitue of the restaurant
Bouvalet, who invited victim to dine with
him by the year and slew him with high feed
ing. The first died of apoplexy after six
months combat; the second hela his own for
two years,and then succumbed to "a liver COM
plaint''-an indigestion brought on by over-in-
diligence in the liver of the Strasbourg goose,
"three days after" as Courier sadly said when
gazing on funeral train from the window of
the restaurant, 81 had treated him to new
hat for his birthday" A third champion then
descended into the arena, long, lean man
named Ameline, who said as his invariable
grace when sitting down to table with his host
You old rascal, I'm going to bury you'll when
the host gently replied by way of "amen,"
ssNonsense The other two said the same
thing" The crafty Ameline, however, took
occasion to pick quarrel monthly with his
ampbitryon, and retiring sulkily to his tent
dieted himself on tea, toast, and SIENNA, return
ing 10 the encounter Modified and refreshed
after an absence of two or three days, during
which Courier lost still more ground by eating
rapidly and injuring his digestion by solitary
and gloomy reflections. One day, after this
f fHgt Raf listed dATs rs &24gsE Xs2 BAD
4-year-od WEIGH mutton, threw his head back.
His companion thinking he was about to sneeze,
muttered the customary benedietion, but Gour-
Ter fell forward into the currant jelly, dead as
the mutton he so dearly loved. He who had
taken the fork had persisted by the fork He
should have initiated the prudent diner of the
cafe Richie, no always had two dozen saucers
piled at his left when he sat down to table,
and wore one between his collar and the nape
Of his neck throughout the repast changing 1t
as it became warm as preventative against
apoplexy.
There was good deal of monotony and va
riety about the bi-monthly repast of the eccen-
trio who used to dine at the Maison Philippe,
going concientiously through the SO or 40 soups
on the bill of fare and topping off with cream
meringue Another much pointed out diner
frequented the restaurant Velour, distinguish
ing himself by his devotion of sweets-a plump
and rosy little old gentleman, who had carried
the Princess Lambaile's head round Paris in
his salad days. Handal, who ordered the din
ner for four and, arriving alone, babe it be
brought in "prestissimo-I am de company"
was outdone by the man of an unbsunded
stomach who used to visit Vachette'S every
fortnight and call for the proprietor, Brebant.
and give the following order: "My dear Bre-
bant, shall have six friends to dinner to-mor-
row mentioning their names) All experincea
diners you seel Get us up nice little dinner
20 francs head, without wine. Have it served
at O'Clock postoffice time. l have told them
to be punctual.' At 545 the host arrives, in
spects the table, writes out the names of the d.
ners and places their cards at their plates. ar
ranges the relishes according to the taste OF
each, takes out his watch. "Ah, 6 o'clock, and
no one here" Brebant-"Perhaps you are
fast?" NO. always keep postofice time, and
1 told them to the minute. I'll give them
lesson. Have dinner seryed?" Brebsnt-"But
they may have been unaccountably delayed
"Well, I'l give themfiye minutes grace. After
watching for them 10 vain-"Put on the din
ner; they can overtake me-" Then he fell TO
and devoured the dinner for seven, indulging
in monologue for the benefit of the waiter
"Why on earth did all those scoundrels fail to
keep their appointments? All, by jove, A al
ways dimes to-day with his wife's mother-I
never thought of that. But B? / suppose he
has had an attack of his old enemy, the gout
And Cob, the rascal has met pretty woman
on the way, could bet on it; he will never
learn wisdom if he lives to be as old as Methn-
selah. (Having found excuses for ally But
hang it, a gentleman could send three lines to
say he couldn't come" Coffee being served, he
sends for Brebant and says, with triumphant
smile: you see, if l had taken your advice
I'd be waiting for them still. I'll invite them
again two weeks from now, and see if they will
be more punctual." And two weeks later,
the same comedy having been performed with
due solemnity, the diner reterates his determi-
alton with indignant vehemence: Oh them,
I'll ask them againl ] want 10 see how far
they will carry their brutal lack of politeness."