National Republican. (Washington City (D.C.)) 1872-1888, 1881-03-25
LIME-KILN PHILOSOPHY.
Bradder Gardner and Shin ON the World
and the Kealher.

"De odder Sunday AFTERNOON" said
the old man as he gave tug at his shirt collar,
stopped to look ober colleckshun of stuff IN
yard on Brush street Dar was heap of ole chairs,
two ole stoves two or three lounges, broken bed
stead, two ole mattresses, an doan' know What
else. De stuff spread ober quarter OF an acre OF
groun an yt de hull pile wasn't WORT fifteen cents
turned from de yard to de world arouR' me an
1 foun de same result Dar am heaps of people,
spread ober a vast amount of territory who am
but rubbish to de rest of de world. Dey occupy
groun' dat am wanted for better use. Dey con-
sumo time an food an room which belongs 10
better men. De man wild his hands in his pockets
am rubbish fur good men to stumble ober. DE man
who sits on dry goods box am an ash-heap on
Gfe's highway. De drunkard am an alley full OF
blind bitches. Take de world as YOU find it an
onc-half de people in il seem to have come along
jiSt to fill up an keep de weeds down. We doan
want any rubbish in dis club. We doan' want
members 10 hold de chars down. We doan want
! members simply to fill up wild. Uncle David Cane
war AKIN me to present his name, an L had TO
smile He began life fifty y'ars ago wid dog an
q wheelbarrow an he's nebber seen de day dat he
had two dogs an wheelbarrow. He's stood an
stood. an sot an sot an he's had no mo to do Wld
runnin' the world dan a gate post Trustee Horn
back war also sayin dat he'd like to jine to u.s.
You've all seen him. He sticks boat hands down
and his back bumped up. He eats an sleeps an
moves about but he's Il hitchin post Be keerfl
whom you recommend. an be twice as keerful
when you vote in. No man who carries his hands
in his pockets kin keep pace with de world"
Samuel Shin had for some time been moving
about in an uneasy manner, and as soon as the
president sat down he jumped up and presented
the following resolution:
Resosred Dat de present great need of dis ken
try am an airly spring"
Brother Gardner waited half a minute to hear If
any one favored the resolution, and then said
"Brudder Shin, you am a good man behind
buck-saw, an you kin handle Whitewash brush
wild grace an strategy an it makes me sorry to
see You bite off more dan you can chaw when it
comes to regulatin' the weather. How do you
know what dis kentry needs? In dc course of a
day you ElOvc ober four or five miles of groun, an
you go home wild de idea dat you know what de
hull world am sighin' arter. When de Lawd gifts
ready to resign de maxim of de weather into de
hands of man, dis club will present your name an
vote fur you, but until dat time comes you had
betterpu yer airy spring resolution in yer pocket
an Sot down.
Brother Shin wiltcd away like panSy hit by
the breath of an iceberg, and the president con-
tinued:
"Wc will now go home. We will let natur go
ahead wild her rain an sluSh an snow or mud, or
she kin send us gentle breezeS an red roses. We
am simply dead headed passengers, an 1t am not
for Us to blow about how de masheen am run. Let
de lights be put out, de stove Shet up. an ill
member dat de foth stair from de bottom am liable
to smash out if you bar yer full weight on it,
DefrOjf Eree D,ces