Democratic messenger. [volume] (Snow Hill, Md.) 1869-1973, 1881-12-17
Young Fools.

An exchange has the following item
which may seem to be all right, but
will get some young fellows back broke
yet:
" An Illinois Justice has decided that
counting is public necessity, and must
not be interrupted therefore if a
young man wanted to kiss a girl he
might put her father out Of the room
first if he liked" The publication of
this item may cause some smart young
man to do something he will regret
The sickly-looking father of girl may
come into the parlor some night and
find the warm- haired youth on the sofa
with the girl, and when the old man
speaks of it being time to put stop to
such nonsense, the young man, with
the above judicial decision in his mind,
will tell his prospective fatherinlaw to
wipe off his vest and go to bed The
old man will then spit in his hands and
grasp the warm-haired young man by
the county seat and tie him up in a
double bow knot, and pin a scarf pin
on him and throw him out on the path
TO the gate, and then will turn and
slap the girl where the dress is pleated,
and she will go up stairs with her hand
on her heart, as it were. The young
men of this country have gall enough
about visiting girls ia the evening at
their homes, without filling their heads
with any such ideas in regard TO their
legal rights. There are very few ia
theirs that would quietly submit to be-
ing told to 60 away by a young man
with striped necktie and pants too
short at the bottom. These sparkers
are looked upon by parents generally
as a nuisance, and often they are right.
Ninetenths of the sparkling IS done by
boys who haven't got their growth, and
they look so green that 1t is laughable
10 the old folks to look at them. And
yet marrying is about the fist thing
they think Of A green boy without
dollar, present or prospective, sparkling
a girl regularly and talking about marry
ing, is spectacle for gods and men.
He should be reasoned with, and if he
will not quit until he is able to support
a wife. and to know how he loves and
the difference between love and passion,
he should be quarantined, or put in a
convent erected on purpose for such
cases. Nine tenths of the unhappy
marriages are the result of green hu
man calves being allowed to run at
large in the society pasture without
any yoke on them. They marry and
-hs.x children before they do nous
taches they are iatners of twins be-
fore they are proprletors of two pairs
of pants. and the little girls they marry
are old women before they are twenty
years old. Occasionally one OF these
goSling marriages turns out all right,
but ii Is clear case of luck If there
was law against young galoots spark
ing and marrying before they have got
all their teeth cut, we suppose the little
cusses would evade it in some way, but
there ought to be a sentiment against
it. Il is time enough for these ban
tams 10 begin 10 think of finding
pullet when they have raised money
enough by their own work to buy
bundle of laths 10 build chen house.
But they see girl that looks cunning,
and they are afraid there is not going
TO be enough 10 go round, and then
they begin to get in their work real
spry, and before they are aware of the
sanctity of the marriage relation they
are hitched for lite, and before they
own cook stove or a bedstead thay
have to get up in the night and go at
ter the doctor, SO frightened that they
run themselves out Of breath and abuse
the doctor because he does not run too,
and when the doctor gets there he finds
that there is not linen enough in the
house to wrap up doll baby