The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1881-09-30

NEVER fAlLS-
Mr. J. Leist, warehouseman for Lantz
Bros, Buffalo, N. Y, says he had
swelling on the foot which he attributed
to chillbains. lie used Thomas Eclcc-
trio Oil, and is troubled no longer.
A Frenchman says that the soul
of wine is at its top. 1t must be a cork
soul.
An exchange speaks of jokes as SO
heavy that fishermen clip them out to
use as sinkers.
PHYSICAL SUFFERING.
No one can realize, except by person
al experience, the anguish of mind and
body endured by sufferers from dyspep-
sla, indigestion, constipation, and other
diseases of the stomach. Burdock Blood
Bitters are positive cure for this direst
of all diseases. Price Sl.00, trial size
| 10 cents.
Potatoes promise to be so high next
winter that we may expect te see them
used for trimming ladies' bonnets.
The mutual duties of the church dea-
| con and the monkey are to gather in
contributions while the organ plays.
SIGNAL VICTORY.
The value Of electricity as a remedial
agent has gained signal victory over
prejudice, Thomas Eclectric Oil stands
foremost in this class of compounds.
| Testimonials from all parts tell of the
| wonderful cures Of rheumatism, neuralgia,
hurts and sores, etc, effected by its
agency.
Should you happen to have any ma
laria about your person now is the time
to thoroughly enjoy it.
There is only one way to make boy
| keep quiet, and that is to set him to
| work yelling to scare crows.
| AN ExcELLENT MEDICINE.
81 certify that my wife and myself
were in bad health for some fifteen years.
| CHANGED to be looking over one of
Simmons Liver RegulatorAlmanacs and
saw A. ii. Stephens and Bishop Pierce's
names to testimonials. | then obtained
some of the Regulator, and can heartily
recommend Simmons Liver Regulator
10 my friends as an excellent medicine
Il. E. Harrison, M. ID. Gordonsville, Va,
Marriage is lottery, and love letters
should consequently be excluded from
the mails
Halls Vegetable Sicilian Hair Renew
er Is the most reliable article in use for
restoring gray hair to its original color
and promoting its growth.
A swell matter: When Fendeson said
he was at his wits end, Fogg remarked
that it wouldn't take him long to get
back.
An Arkansas man rode 800 miles 20
shoot the chap who cheated his father
in horse trade. Filial affection can
never die in this country.
The best strengthener of mind and
body is Browns Iron Bitters. 1t is very
soothing and refreshing in its effects.
The shrewd betting man will go to
the market and buy up all the fish be
fore betting with the men Just starting
on trouting excursion that they don't
catch any.
a BtNEflCENT ACTION.
The worn look and miserable feelings
of those closely confined in mills, ar at
! desks or work tables, are caused by weak
stomach, kidneys or bowels, and show
the necessity for some mild tonic TO
/ build them up. No one need suffer thus
who will Use Parker's Ginger Tonic; for
without intoxicating it has such n bepe-
iicenl action on these sluggish organs as
to cleanse the poisonous matt ers from the
: system, that rosy cheeks and good health
, and spirits are soon brought back again
| --EGpreSs See advertisement.
Signor Brignoli is looking for the
! ma uho cll,istened him 'anightingale il
r a pump" When the Signor gets excited
he talks English with the accuracy of 6
Zulu.
, A Western editor, b,ing asked by +;
+ subscriber what was meant Iy the wore
, hydrogen, replied, Gin and water" an,
5 explained that hydro was the French TO
y water,- Chicogo Inter ocean,
n The Chinese students have gone bacl
I to China without graduating, Theyl
r. reach home just about the tail end O
, dog days, too late for prime spring pup.
% HAY FEVER.
- Messrs. White S Burdick, Druggists
~ Ithaca, n. VI can recommend Ely
i Cream Balm to relieve all persons sui
a fering with Rose Cold and Lay Fever
,s | have been great sufferer from tn
y same complaints; have had great relic
:, by using the balm. | have recommend
u ed it to many of my friends for Catarrl
y and in all cases where they have use
y the balm fNely have been cured. I
- Kennoy, dry goods merchant, Ithaca, \
II Y; Sept. 6, 1850,
y, Mr.. a. l.. Avery, Pharmacist, ,Newarl
h n. J. Having been severely Athlete
for eleven years with Hay Fever aftt
an trying almost everything without avail
,e ! gave up all hopes of being cured, whc
m purchased Of you a box of Ely's Crea
- Balm. Tony surprise, after a few a
plications, was entirely relieved. |
Watson Harris, letter carrier, No. |
ms News L, o., Newark, N, j. Price I
er cents
as Felicia asked her brother to buy a s,
en- ce mollhly Ter her because IL had ;
IN ar ticle on "Ancient methods of Flirt
en- ton, When he brought it home 81
said he was horrid and mean because
er turned out to be on "Arcient Methods
es Filtration"
ID
When abumble bee incidentally lodg
Mt between your shirt collar and your p'
ter son don't agitate him. Let him ma
on his observations undisturbed. It's I
ne best way.
no PHYSICIANS WINE.
"' New Yolk physicians say that tn
have been using Speers Port Gra
Wine and Wine Bittcrs in their pract
a., for years, TO the entire Satisfaction