The Canton advocate. [volume] (Canton, D.T. [S.D.]) 1877-1897, 1881-07-28
IN A NUTSHELL.

An esthetic person in Boston says
pink and white glass makes more at
.ractive luncheon display than silver
or porcelain. In Chicago the main
thing is to have the liver and bacon
we'll done and the flies dredged out OF
the butter.
'It is execrable taste for a waiter to
wear beard" So it is, but we prefer
that he should wear it than to carry it
in sections on his soup-plates. -New
A Haven Register.
n $50 you enjoyed your visit to the
4 m enagerie. did you ?" inquired young
imam of his adored ones little sister,
&@"Oh, yes. And do you know we saw
camel there, that screwed its mouth and
eyes around awfully; and sister said it
looked exactly as you do when you re-
cite poetry at the evening parties"
The Oil City Derrick has hit upon
very simple way of letting the public
know at all hours of the day or night
the Presidents condition. 1t keeps the
Am erican flag flying, and its height on
I the staff shows whether the latest bull
I letins are cheering or otherwise.
Respected his OATH A wife murder
er defended his act by saying that life
with his wife became insupportable.
.Then," said the judge, "You might
have separated from her" "Ah p re-
piled the conscientious prisoner, II
could not do that, for swore to her
that nothing but death should separate
MS"
5E According to Professor Swing, "the
coming man will be chaste, merciful,
just, generous, charitable, large heart
ed, sweet-tempered. Christian, a good
Sneighbor and faithful citizen. What
We nice time the coming woman will
have.
sS A Clergyman was once forced to
4 lay to a congregation that PERSISTED in
u depositing buttons in the contribution
box: "Brethern who wish to contri-
butte buttons will please not hammer
down the eyes, for while that process
does not increase their value as coin it
does impair their usefulness as buttons.
Post
~ A short time since two young ladies
near Camberwell were accosted by
gypsy woman, who told them that
for q shilling each she would show
4hem their husbands faces in pail of
water, which, being bought, they ex-
planned: ave only see our own faces"
well" said the old woman, "those
faces will be your husbands when you
are married"
An assassin is defined by Webster as
zone who kills, or attempts to kill, by
surprise or secret assault" To assassl-
nate is ITO kill, or attempt to KILL" etc.
Assassination, of course, is ''the act
siof assassinating," that is, the act of kill
ing or attempting to kill. Guiteau is,
y therefore, an assassin, and President
fairfield was assassinated, whether he
survives or not.-Cou,acH Bluffs Non
sll77ar,iel.
The noble St. Bernard dog is doomed
to extinction, at least rs the friend and
rescuer Of the poor foot traveller over
the St. Gothard. In few months the
beneficent and time-honored hospice
viii be closed. The railway under the
9igantic Alps will draw all wanderers
away from the mountain road, for the
poorest peddler pursuing his little
comm cree between Italy and Switzer-
land, and the most destitute searcher
sitter employment far from home, will
rather pay his small railway fare than
risk the avalanche and the weary walk.
80 ends great Catholic charity, one of
tie most beautiful, brave and self-sac-
iticing which the world has ever seen.
ssasss The United States statues provide the
81 SLOWING punishment for an an attempt
10 kill within the District of Columbia:
Every person convicted Of man.
laughter, or of any attempt to kill,
y shall be sentenced to suffer imprison-
ment and labor for the first offense for
~ period not less than two nor more
than eight years, and for the second Of
4ense for period of not less than six
nor more than fifteen years.
Jacob schaffer, of Rochester, heard
bird song in his yard the other day,
Ind on looking after this warbler dis
.e0vered that it was his cat which,
SSetretched on the ground, was initiating
bird notes, while on the lawn, short
distance from the sweet singer, robin
Nas hopping, fascinated, towards the
sSeAt.-NeW York 1aibuaH.-A man in
Chicago heard song in his yard the
sother night, and on looking after the
\ Wsfbler, discovered that it was cat,
While in the air, short distance from
sweet singer, four boot-jacks, part
800 wash-board, and three brooms
Ne9e flying, fascinated, toward the cat.
When we are married, Lucy, dear
~ the poor mans son to the rich
mans daughter, "our honeymoon
shall be passed abroad. We will drive
lin the Bots, promenade the Prada,
i Gaxe down into the blue waters of the
! no Adriatic from the Rialto, and en-
~ the Neapolitan sunsets, strolling
ETaalopg Chiaja." Glow delicious" she
q prmured, "but, John, dear have you
4 iI0ney enough to do all this ? for pa says
q mustn't expect anything till he dies"
Inns countenance underwent such a
n Rnge that she couldn't help asking if
81 y felt sick. "No, darling" he answer
faintly, II am not sick. l was think
4 we had better postpone the MARI
= until after the funeral"
Well, Charley, what are you read
= r said u father 10 his son last Sun
oh, Pm reading Daniel in the
ms Den."
father goes over and picks up the
* and finds it is a dime novel called
ete Jones in Africa"
Why" said he, "this is a dime