davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
, 1881-02-16

hAse the hunot ~ Hck"uMt MttstGS tHu r.
rr,nt s,,, - III lnv!tntaun ',1 q tao naMn''tu
,M~s'..r nvtt ~ xt,tf IN I,n rrrsnrt n, Wnsntru,
ficiuutn in lilo rcrets,nnira and fcsttv!is if,cl-
rl.t to tho Inauguration of t.c1.. Jnmex 4. Cur.
tca ~ Fre,!.srnt nf thn lJnitnl Htntes. ny
y!sstton; ~; via :sSi 5 so%s,s{ 10 be M present
thron III n'y r in n,i"nc,, ~ t f4rm,ntttno
t"r tcir CO co,trteus m,tontlou. / rem9sn, very
'"'s s"n.s, >>, ". ',,s O. ,.Ans".n. .st,...,,.-
., At rliE EXPERIMENTATION of =. ssMrArms
,ha t." s ort s sn Ene. sf 2"y
as: IS; i ~ ss;$; NJ
Frcesn,an Kenna.. III West Yirginla. on " lre-
lanA's Right 10 Independence"
-, - rEnSASno ;,!:s;s:s t,.,,,o,,1 woo1'. ,r.,
se ~ ,Dtu ,-ay Gys II @ tho 'sss est
~ II f'hn ir,,nr Enr,,mt,.1ts W.umi " ~ ~
III ,s'.'. ,,..,,r,..' a' uo
TIE UNITED STATES HihAMs'nfs
tho Mississippi ntlHsD New Orlcnns.
II is Tho Intention Uf tho Navy Department to
have tho lanme sa,,n.lr9n IN tllG vicinity nf ths
H.; 1rra,-,, - stt,,n ' teII"nrs % - an nj csnws iii ~
exuretr Ia t,arfripatn II, tls ceremonies. lion.
Shnrmnn i,ns Mnn ~ ,iftnit ~ tryn,,,s m nnrtlnf
t,att " ~" ,in s,wrato,, n,tmessfo,,'
'''- ~ >0 ,,,,1,',i,tr.
Thu liouso Committee favors tho enlargement
of tho Government Building ut Detroit.
,,,. j.. ,,...,-..,. xAyx,. -. st.. >,....,
,rt,,rtnt ,n,., ,,r,,.,t.t ~ ~ .linrsrnn
,,1,l1,Ins between tho two Houses (agYrcgatlnv
nl,uut t:,au0, ,0nU] ni,out evenly.
lN,uASY
ms. ,,uta.,.. ,1,..,,,s...... -, ~. ,,,,t. A.
TIT M nf;nr,o W IN rocnoiI
p,,s f ,r nt .mis , ~ cpn y. ~ ~.
|1sc Vi t,..tn hniIenj H. " t,rsT -, Ttn u
EnnInIssionrrs.
CONSULAR,
Tho Conference t,ep,nt tteo oil the Cop.uInr
nnt, f,;nInnnt% iii r"nrhrH n f,nni nVrcntnnnt
"~ "..'' w. ..,",.",,...,..,. -
TIT; hl'EGlAt Committees
nf tho House antl Se4Rte meet tho remains OF
'ns' r,,,,~r,,s r,,xr,aro
~ ,poottr, cr t,,c ttu,ao f,o,nmtttco or
Elections, Mr. Field n,n,!u d report IN fnvur ct
Mr. Kitchen, In tho cnso Of Uil1ra ~. Kitchen
~. ~. In9 rcunit WIS ' at!9htcu " !uu Go!anlt
Ho,,,sn. Sr, tnItins a,,1,mtttel 4 rennrt in thc i
cusu OF NicCnbo ~, Uyth tlulj,i recommending
That tho contestant Ge allowed to withdraw his
piaiefs and was instructed 10 prcaett the Eelioft
HMM to rsitt,nna ~ H. E"rn,,.c Tia snnG III ~
, 1881-02-16

WABItISaTON, d. o., Fob. 1b,-Me. Hereford
presented tho jolnt resolution Ut tho Wcst Vir-
glniA Legislature asktug fur q Inv 10 regulnto
INTERSTATE RAILWAY traffic. ltcfergcd to COM
mittco on l.n,lroals,
Hills mud junt resolutions were reported back
from committees III follows, and placed on tho
culen,lar:
l3y br. Hayard from tho Flunnec Commlttcp-
FAyusutly for tho relief pf tho PHILADELPHIA s.
Neuujl,x Ituktroal CoMpauy.
liy str. Logan, from thu Military Committee
FAyurubIy, VIII, uu amendment, fur plncuR
,rbonus C. CrItten,]e,, upou tho retired IiSt With
tho rapk anl nay of Dr!xndjpr- t}eucrNl.
, 1881-02-16

tc,unaranco nea''fss %or" freely dIscu,.c,
especially tue l.r"s''',lt'or.an'rut ,s.''as ana
support only acknowledged ielr,r.rnn,."'.lohs In
Rutn oIIfcrrs, ats t',cy wern volr1 ,, "leh foe
which 1tnnsly pissed rcEerrri puly T., la'fo
t,fllErra. SGIlntnrs. nntl 1teprcscn,pt,,ae eahts
question nf submitting tho nrthtin' H., Tho
tnent 4! the peopiG orcntes much rxct,"'maa 'maHnA
nlof,g tho li,lca. '|e"'eat al
Morning appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1877-1906, 1881-07-31
SUM MONs.

IN THE DISTRICT CURT OF THE 2ND
j Judicial District, of the state of Nevada, in
and for the o1nty Of ormsby.mActi"an brought a
tric Of the State of Nevada, in and for the County
of Ormsby and the complaint filed in said Office
of the Jerk of said District Court.
ALICE POLLARD, Plaintiff,
VS..
JOHN 2. POLLARD, Defendant.
The State of Nevada sends greeting to John P.
Pollard, defendant: You are hereby required to
above named plaintiff in the District Court Of the
Second judicial District of the State of Nevada, In
and for the Ounty of Ormsby. and to answer the
panies this summGns) within ten days exclusive
Of the day of service) after the service you o.
this summons If served within this county; or if
served out of this county, but in this district,
within twenty days, otherwise within forty days
or Judgment by default will be taken against
Judgment and obtain a decree dissoivirg the
bonds Of matrimony heretofore and now existing
between you and the above named plaintiff upon
the grounds: First-That you have failed. neg
lected and efuscd, for the space of more than
ye r last past, to provide for said plaintiff the
common necessaries of life, when such failure
you could not have avoided by ordinary indus
try SecOnd-That you have contracted since
marriage the habit of habitual, gross drunken
ness, which lncapacitateS you from contributing
your share toward the support of this plaintiff.
Plaintiff afro seeks to obtain decree giving her
and Gen o
hereby notified that if You fail to appear and an
swer the said complaint as above required, the
manded in her com plant herein now on file in
the office Of the Clerk of said court.
~, Given under my hand, and the Seal of
. SEAL. the District court of the Second Judi
WI cial District of the state of Nevada in
and for the county of Ormsby, this 18th day OF
June, In the year of our Lord one thousand eight
MD. HATCH, Clerk
jelsf
Morning appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1877-1906, 1881-07-31

Archibald Forbes, the English cores
pondent, is another instance of the danger
of overworking the human machine He
is now in London, broken down in health,
and will be compelled to take a twelve
moths vacation. DR.. Holland has a
time y article on the subject If overwork
in the current number of Scribner's, in
which he points out how much wiser it
would be for men to take needed recrea-
ton for the sake of their health befor
their constitutions are shattered beyond
repair by overwork. Forbes doubtless in
jnred his health by too much exposure and
actual hard work. He has always been a
contentious, painstaking journalist and
when war correspondent he was in the
front, sleeping in the trenches with the
maD. and often taking notes in the thick of
the fight. While he was thus engaged
John Russell Young. most noted Eng
lish correspondent. was far in the rear
snugly ensconced in the officers tents fea
ing on the fat of the land and drinking
champagne. Forbes describe what he
actually saw and Young depended, almost
solely, upon his Imagination for a discrip
tion of q battle. He saw more OF Bull Run
than any battle he was in, because he was
too fat to keep in front after the rout be
gan.
Morning appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1877-1906, 1881-07-31
NOTICE TO CREDITORS.


N THE DI$TKIsT COURT OF THE
] Second JuoIcia District II the state of Nevada Ia
and tor the County Of Oimsiy --Jo.sph Irvine "
HIS Cr.dltoIs-N"i,e to Creditors Of nso' vent-pur
sale District Court t. ,rmsy county notice /,
hereby given to all the creditors of the "a Insnyent
Jseph irvine to be and appear before said Judge
ops Court, at The our of said Court in arson
CITY, IN the SAID county of ormsby on tie ELEVENTH
DAY OF JULY, A. d. 1881, at 10 O'Clock A. b. Of that DAY
TIN and II ere show cause, if any they ,Gn why the
rayer Il said lisovent shou not be granted and an
assignm mt OF his es'at; be made discharged
rom debts and liabilities In pun of the Statute
in such case maze and provided and in the meantime all
proceedings against sa Il 1nsolvent b. stayed.
wness my hand and the seal Of said Court, this Sth
lsEALl day Of June, A. d. 1881
June9-5od NJ d. HATCH Clerk
Morning appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1877-1906, 1881-07-31

NJ. P. Benham, editor Of the Tahoe
IattLer is in town. He reports the
Iattter as firmly established and paying
institution.
Morning appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1877-1906, 1881-07-31
NOTICE.

(NAME To MY PREM : En-. ON OR ROlT
~ June IL. 1881 one roam riding horse branded &C
on near hip The owner can have same by proving pro
perty and paying charges,
5aiyle JAMES DUFFY.
Morning appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1877-1906, 1881-07-31
NOTICE TO Gas CONsU sE4s

THE CARSON PUBLIC ARE HERFRy
notified that and after August l. 1881, gas W II b.
supplied by the Carson Gas Company at 50 per thousa
cutie feet. N WYIIE sinner, = andcnt
jy28 = ''
Morning appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1877-1906, 1881-07-31
NOTICE.

-. FINN RSON, OF THE EAGLE
q Market, vi lay al cIsin,s agsinst It e n,racted
rior u July ssl, I'D all per-4 In eted up TO that
date are requested to settle with blu, inmeoia ell,
M. iAkEESON
Carson, July 2. 1881 ~
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1881-12-08
PERSONAL AND LITERARY.

MIR. Rufus ChOate was once de-
scribed BY an old farmer as looking
like mixture of jaundice and juris-
prudence.
Frederick Douglass is worth $780,
600 or more. and has a good Office as
Commissioner Of Deeds at $1,000 .
year. and the duties light
Efforts are making in Bohemia to
have the distribution of, blood and
thunder romances prohibited by the
Government. This species of literature
is said to be exercising pernicious in
fluence upon the population OF the coun-
try. a.-. .--y 49, 81, ~ ,...f
-Whitelaw Reid. the newly-married
editor of the New York Tribune. is thus
done up in the society column of a
Vienna paper: 1.-The correspondent of
the New York Herald, Mr.. Raid. has
married Miss Mills, with dowry of
1925, 100000.
-Kristofer Janson. Norwegian
poet, is now in this country for the
purpose of visiting the Scandinavian
settlements in the Northwest He is
one of the four poets in Norway (the
other three are Bjornson. Ibsen and
Lie), who receive an annual salary from
the Storthing or Parliament as re-
cognition Of their excellent produc.
tons. .Hlull-. a.ti. q.
-"As grow older" Walt Whitman
remarks, ri am more and more ready
to take the good there is in men and
authors. without concerning myself
about the bad. OF the American poets
like Bryant better than Longfellow or
Whittier, and Emerson better than
either. l could not tolerate Poe few
years ago. but now I am getting to
like him." c 'o 'as7-l7 sti ~.
The Deu,srhe Zeitung of Vienna
offers prize for good National song
that shall satisfactorily supply the
patriotic needs of Austria's German
population. The ..Wacht am Rhein"
is said to be inappropriate and inade-
quate for the Germans Of Austria What
is wanted is hymn that all German
speaking populations may be able to
join in with equal fervOr.
For the benefit of persons about to
write novels, and who yet have no ade-
quate idea of what even plot is, the
following definition is given from the
London -dthengum: A plot is "a Sc
quence of mutually inierdependent
events, leading up to a conclusion
which, even if sometimes unexpected,
is felt by the reader to be inevitable"
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1881-12-08
A Rebuke From a Boston Waiter.

Boston is the center of so much in
lel,igence and knowledge of the pro-
prietors and exactness of speech that
even the hotel walters talk like SO
manys binclsy IM,frraysahd appear as
animated as first fruits of the science Of
orhoeps. An eyidentiy foreign gem
tiemsn was al breakfast in one Of our
leading caravsnsaries the other morn
ing. and seeing salmon on the bill of
fare ordered sosnes p But he WIS unac-
quainied with the correct pronuncia-
ton Of the word. and SO. in saying,
"Piease bring me some salmon" gave
tine 80 in the name Il tho fish in full
force. The waters countcnancc was
agitated by "a spAsai Of pain. but hs
soonrcccvercd himself enough To say.
"Salmon. sir! Sammon. sir; sammon,
sire Yes, sir" snd glided in . stately
way to the kitchen. leaving the foreign
gentleman staring blankly after him.
and wondering At the amazing cheek Of
the Boston waiter.-Bostos Journal.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1881-12-08
HUMOROUS.

Assistant sculptor wanted. One
who is quick and correct at figures pre-
'erred'-op'1'g"e'a mum
The Philadelphia american says
''slsng is the destroyer of converse
ton" You bet it is. and the American
people should sit down on it with en-
phasis. -Norristown Herald.
=" Is your father Christian" said
a gentleman to little boy on one oc-
casion. Yes. SIR" said the little boy;
''but l believe he hasnot worked much
at it lately" -Academy. ea
"A little child was addressed by a
gentleman the other day .How old
are YOU, my dear?'' he asked. .sOhr''
said the child Indignantly. I'm not
old at all. I'm quite new?' Gtasgow
Ecening Times. q.sf.
The Young couple who talked too
much at the opera live in a boarding.
house and have not sufficient opport1-
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1881-12-08
HONE, FARM AND GARDEN.

-kye Breakfast CakeS. OF
rye meal. one half cup of molasses. one
and one-half cups of sweet milk. one
teaspoonful of soda. and little salt.
Bake at once in gem pans.
Sauce for Boiled BeeE-Grate a
quantity of horse radish. boil it in
sufficient waterto give it the consistency
Of sauce. add pinch of salt aud tvO or
three tablespoonful of tarragou vine
gar; then,stir in. of the fire, \ gill of
cream. beaten up with yelk OF an egg.
The Intiustriutst states that Mr.. J.
M. Van Nordstrand. of Kansas. who
narrowed and rolled his wheat in
spring, harvested 2ll bushels per acre.
while his neighbors' crops from similar
soil and seed, but without such extra
attention. yielded only at the rate of
three to sixteen bushels. fr1-
For some reason or other says the
Rural Homo, new varieties of potatoes
deteriorate more rapidly than they
did before the appearance of the pota-
to-beetie. and the consequent use Of
Paris-green II the poison affects the
vitality Of the leaf so that it ceases to
perform its functions before the
maturity of the tubers. their quality
wouid De anec'ed merely. ...,,.-
The composition Of buckwheat has
been examined by NJ. =. Lechartier:
He states that the proportion of mineral
matter in the straw increases with the
weight The straw may indeed become
richer in phosphoric acid than the
grain. differing thus completely from
ihat Oh the ONE. cereals. Inc stra"ot
crop OF oucKwheat may contain more
mineral matter IMAM does tne gram.
Inc sum OF the principai iertiiizers re-
moved from Inc SOIL Dy an entire crop
Is mucn more consideraoie IMAM ior
crop OF wheat containing the same
quantity OK gram. ia- fN
More might be said about whole
some cellars additional to the excellent
remarks quoted from DIR. Dempsey. 1t
IS a question OF prime Importance,
greater to farmers and their families
than perhaps any other sanitary one.
Old houses around which the soil is
reeking with slops of all kinds, the foul
air from which is sucked into the house
through the walls by the draft of the
warm building, are undoubtedly cause
of many of the mysterious visitations of
zymotic diseases to solitary and appar-
emily breezy and healthful, and even
clearly kept country homes.-M L.
Tribune.
Cream to use with any kind of
llayer cake is made from this REGIME.
Take one pound of blanched almonds.
pounded to a paste. one coffee Gun
Of ahieS. sonr p cream. I two tahIespoonp.
fuls of corn starch scalded in a little
sweet milk. beat ali together and
spread between the LAYERS Of The cake:
flavor with a little almond extract.
This is very rich and is suitable for the
incest kinds of cake For more com.
mon use an inviting cream NAV be
made in this way: Take a mint of sweet
milk, thicken it with half a cum of corn
lI,,r
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1881-12-08

-Scions, it is claimed. carry with
them the bearing year Of the tree from
which they were taken.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1881-12-08
Dr. JOHN Bulls,
Smiths Tonic Syrup
FOR THE CURE or z
fever and ACUE
Or CHlLLS and FEVER.

The proprietor Of this celebrated msdicins
justly claims for Il . superiority over all rem.
ediss ever offered to the public for the GAZE,
CERTAIN, SPEEDY and PERMANENT cure
efAgue and Fever. or Chills and Fever. vheth.
q ofshort or long standing. h refers to the
entire Western and Southern country to bear
him testimony TO the truth Of the assertion
that in no case whatever viii it fail to cure II
the directions are strictly followed and carried
out. In crest many cases single dose has
been sufficient for cure, and whole families
have been cured BY single bottle. With . per-
feet restoration Of the general health. It Il,
however, prudent, and in every case more esr.
tain to cure, II its use Is continued In smaller
doses for week or two after the disease has
been checked, more especially in difficult and
long-standing cases. Usually this medicine
will not require any aid to keep the bowels In
good order Should ths patient, however 70.
quire cathartie medicine. after having taken
three or four doses Of the Tonic. single dose
Of BULLS VEGETABLE FAMILY PILLS
will be sufficient.
The genuine SMITHS TONIC SYRUP must
have DR. JOHN BULL'sprivsts stamp on each
bottle. DR.. JOHN BULL only has the rightto
manufacture and sell the original JOHN J.
SMITHS TONIC SYRUP, Of Louisville, ".
Examine we'll the label on each bottle. II my
private stamp is not on each bottle do not
purchase, or You will be deceived.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1881-12-08

There is but one thing in all the
universe to which man Is always faith
full. and which he never forgets. and
that il. himself. 044
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1881-12-08

For the Cure OF Coughs. Colds. Hoarsencss. Asthma
Bronchitis Group Influenza whooping Cough. lnctp-
lent Consumption &C. Price only rs cents q bottle.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1881-11-16
4 GEglST TT A And all throat and
m Stp IA lung coml laints
@@~ - AA ~'Aa"~ cured by
COUGHS A'D1asss,s 4ssssio .
BALSAM,"
ssHBH.skN 4 pleasant aud un-
VUI0V failing remedy;

RErEREKoEs: Senator j. q, Blaine.
Washington, d c., VIM +. Kidder'
New York, Chaplain G. G. McCabe.
Chicago, III, Rev. A. S. Weed, lions
Herald, also publisher Boston Pilot,
Rev. Dr.. Torscy, D. d., LII. d., Kent's
Hill, Nc J Z. Field, Alrena, Mich.
and thousands af others. "The most
famous of all the medicines in the
market is Adamzon's Botanic Balsam.'
Springfield Republican. "The
workings Of Adamson's Balsam are
daily astonishing the most eminent
hysieians." Boston Journal. Sold
y all respectable druggists and doal-
ers. Price, 35 aud rs cts. New
trial sizo7 10 cts. r. w. KISsNAN &
Co, prcprietors, Augusta, Me- 5is.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1881-11-16

Hon. VIM. Taylor, Boston, is well
again. Completely cured of scrof-
ulous humor which poisoned his
blood, covering his fare and head
with sores, by Cuticura Resolvent in
ternally and Cuticura and Cuticura
Soap externally.
Chas. Eayre Hinkle, Jersey City
Heights, N. j., reports that his son, a
lad Of twelve years, was completely
cured Of case of Eczema by the
Cuticura Remedies. From his head
to his feet was one mass Of scabs. n
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1881-11-16
A World of Good.

One of the most popular medicines
now before the American public is
Hop Bitters. You see it everywhere.
People take it with good effect. 1t
builds them up. 1t is not as pleas
ant to the taste as some other Bitters
as it is not a whisky drink. 1t is
more like the old fashioned bone set
tea that has done a world of good.
II you don't feel just right try Hop
Bitters. News. Nov.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1881-11-16

What the blazers do you want the
nomination forY You're sure to be de-
feated at the polls" So said Ragbag
TO young Symonds. "Yes," said Sy-
monds, II know it, but | must have
the nomination. You see I'm engaged
to be married, and want to get out of
it, and if | run for office, the opposi-
tion papers will give me such a horrid
bad character that the girl won't have
me anyway. Catch the idea 2-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1881-11-16

Bourbon" he asked for, but his
face was awry when he asked if "that
was the best" Indeed" said the
dealer "it is the reel stuff" and judg-
ing from the way the drinker reeled
when he went out, there is no doubt
the seller told the truth.-Cambridge
Tribune.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1881-11-16

Lay off your overcoat or you won't
feel it when you go out said the land
lord of western inn to q guest who
was sitting by the fire. "That's what
I'm afraid Of" returned the man,
"the last time I was here l laid off my
overcoat. I didn't feel it when ] went
out. and / haven't felt it since. Sat
urday Night.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1881-11-16

NIitigated misery: Go into the
room and bring that cake off the table"
soid an Austin mother to son. Its
too dark I'm afraid to go into the
room" Go right into that room this
instant. or I'll 60 in and bring out the !,
strsp'" "If-you bring--out the strap
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1881-11-16

Dir. Tanner and several other enter
prising scientists seem to have de-
monstrated that it is possible for a
man TO live without food. If some
renious will show that he can also live
without sleep, he will have solved the
other hard problem in newspaper life.
W@ld.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1881-11-16

The Boston Post is authority for the
statement that an esthete, in English,
recently paid 5000 for couple of blue
china ginger pots, and the gentleman
who owns $3.50 dog thinks the asthete
an ass Lowell Courier.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1881-11-16

Before he died. John Brougham, the
actor, boasted that no member of the
profession had ever been tried for
capital crime. Poor John. He forgot
how many a time and oft members Of
his profession had murdered Shakspere.
New York Commercial Advertiser.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1881-11-16

at may be said that Mr.. jenkins is
a very profane man" said the deacon,
"but the interest he takes in the heath
en- amounts to $500 year, SO we don't
feel called upon to expel him from So
ciety. '---Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1881-11-16

Charity covereth a multitude of
scenes. The devil has one redeeming
trait. He never gives a boarder q
cold room. Know thyself is sensible
but know thy neighbor is more fash
ionable. hitehalI Times.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1881-11-16

"Do / look anything like you, Mr..
Jones 2" inquired Cauliflower. 81 hope
not" was the reply. did a man take
you for me-" "Yes." "Where is he :?
must lick him" "Oh, he's dead. /
shot him on the spot. ."-Mordern Ar
go
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1881-11-16

Conjurors astonish an audience by
taking rolls Of ribbon from their mouths
but then it is common thing to see a
carpenter take hammer and nails out
Of his chest.-Boston Commercial Bull
letin.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1881-11-16
Apvww~vsvwo ws~us

Business Cards. one year, one dollar fof ever,
line.
Local Notices. ten cents per line es NJ insertion
and ell notices continued for three months o.
longer, discount Of - per cont.
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Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1881-11-16

A bright little 7-year old girl was
visiting the Athenaum recently. When
she saw the copy of the Venus de Milo,
with the large card attached, warning
visitors not to touch it, she said -
"'Hands Off Humph, anybody can
see that Pittsfeld Journal.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1881-11-16

Why many tipsy man falls into
the river with impunity? Because he
won't drown as long as his head swims.
Popular Science Monthly. All very
fine, but typsy men do not fall into the
river with "impunity." They either
go in alone, or else with spirits.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1881-11-16

Thirty sportsmen Of Oxford, Me-,
claim TO have killed $4,000 squirrels
in one day last week. This is re-
freshing relief from the monotony of
fish stories.-Boston Globe.