The Pickens sentinel. [volume] (Pickens, S.C.) 1871-1903, 1881-04-14
HUMORS OF THE DAY,
DAMP cellars-bar-tenders.

DAMP cellars-bar-t tenders.
IcE cakes should never be served hot.
GIVE us song!' is a please sing re-
quest.
THE highest priced coal is about Le-
high
A MISPLACED switch may ruin loco
| motive OF spoil boy.
WHAT is the prime object of soldiers
drill? TO make holes in the enemy.
NOTHING keeps man from knowledge
and wisdom like thinking he has both.
A JOURNAL heads an article, ga Luna
| tic Escapes and Marries Widow" Es-
| capped, ell? We should say he got
| caught
THE condition of the Utes is said to be
one of discomfort. The last lot of paper
| collars sent them had the button holes
| omitted.
| ADJECrIvhs are the millinery of litera-
tnre, and, like the trimmings of dress.
| they should not be allowed to obscure
| the original fabric. c.--B0Ston Courier.
A SARCASTIC writer speaks of m enemy
| who "is but one step removed from an
ass. He'd better make it three or four.
| The animal has a long reach backward
DID y0u ever see q woman slip down?
| OF course you never looked, Dut then
youv seen them. She didn't flourish
around like an intoxicated jumping jack,
filing the air with arms and bad words,
as Il man docs: but she simply abbrevi-
atcs, SO to speak, like crushed hat or
patent drinking cup, while you stand by
and wonder you never noticed that hole
Ill the sidewalk before.
CoNrNDRUMs.
| Twas Harry who the silence broke
| Miss Kate why are you like tree ?"
| " Il cause, htcause-Im board" she spoke.
| Oh, no; because you're wood'' said he.
| Why YOU Ike tree" she said.
| 81 have n hcalt % he asked, 40 low,
Her answer made tic young man red
h"ralfc you re sarpy, don't you know ?"
"onre more, she asked, " why you now
4 trcc?' Hc couldn't quite perceive.
| "JreS leave sometimes and make n bow,
| And you can ALWAYS how-and leave"
III. C. Doiye, in WhuehaH Times
"IoU look SO happy that I suppose
you have been to the dentist and had
that aching tooth pulled" said Calves
ton man to a friend with swollen Jaw.
"It amt that that makes me look
happy Tho tooth acres worse than ever,
but L don't feel it," Flows that?"
"Wcll, feel so jolly because I have
just been to the dentist, and he was out, "
and the happy man cut a pigeon-wing
on the sidewalk. GulveSto's NeaOs.
a DISCUSSION arose in coffee-room as
, 10 me hationanty OF q gentleman Ut the
other end Of the room. "He is an En-
glishman,' said one, 81 know by his
head" Hes Scotchman," said an
other, II know by his complexion"
"I1e's q German" said another, IT know
by his beard" Another thought he
looked like a Spaniard. Hero the con-
versatiOn rested, but soon one Of them
spoke. II have it." said he, hes an
American; he's got his legs on the table"
TnEY We're watching the seagulls whirl-
ing i'll graceful circles above the waters
: OF the bay, while the rays of the sinking
! sun covered the landscape with flood of
gold. Finally he turned to her, and with
IL voice trembling with emotion, asked:
= 'Darling, if we were seagulls would you
= | fly away with me and be at rest ?" To
which she answered, with her gaze fixed
= on far-of mass Of castellatcd clouds:
u "No, George; I'd let you fly away, and
i then I'd have oil the rest l wanted here.