Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1881-02-05
JOHN M. CAMP Bell.
REN MILDWEED'S IDEA.
He Thought a Court Could Issue
an Attachment to Make His Girl
Love Him.


Rem Mildweed walked into the Of
fee of justice of the peace at Little
Rock. recently, and taking off an old
slouch hat, addressed the dignified
official:
"Are you the Courtl"
al am. What is your trouble"
Ben betrayed agitation in the nerv-
Gus manner with which he fingered
his old hat.
"Jedge, Nancy, my gal, hez bin
runnin' around with two or three
men lately, and hez caused me heap
of oneasyness.'
"Come to the point, Mr.. Mild
weed" suggested the Court.
"You hear my story, ledge. I'm
sot in Gy ways, and I'll git thar
quicker by runnin' my own furrow
down this sea of trouble"
The justice settled his feet COM
fortably on the table and looked re-
signedly at Mr.. Mildwecd, who con
tinued: E.
"Nancy is tine purtiest calico in
IklCHWUpuS Auu VIC ucH hi'OIC' ioi
three yrs; not spliced, you know,
but waitin' for me to buy little
home. The men down to the settle
ment are jealous because Nancy sot
up to me, an they hang round like
blackbirds in corn patch Ben
hitched up his pants and seemed re-
luctant to continue. Now, Nancy
is a good gal, and her black eyes
hez fetched me, like churnin' fotches
butter, and she can make me good
man or u bad man for her sake. But,
Jedge, she knows il, an laughs an
carries ON with Bill Peters when I'm
round. She goes to camp meetin'
with Hez Spilkins, when hev told
her hundred times he was a low
huug fellow, and she aggraVatcs me
terribe.n
"Come TO the point, Ben, ;" said the
Court, impatiently, lifting one leg
over the other.
"I'm getting thar, yer Honor.
Now, old Uncle Marsh Turner and |
hev talked this matter oyer. and he
sez thet Nancy hesen't any attach
ment for me. Thet like to broke my
heart, Jedge. I'll swow it did. oes
Uncle Marsh, Ben ses he, hev YOU
got an attachment for NancYp Yes,
Uncle Marsh, ses |, most power
full 'Hez she for your ses he.
'I'm dubious, uncle,' ses l. Ben
ses he, solemnly, 'et she can't luv
you with her whole heart, drap her
like a hot cake. Ell she hesen't an
attachment fer you thet is strong and
true and honest, drap her. You'll be
mis'able, boy. I'm An old man, Ben,
and when | sees young man hev an
attachment fer gal. and she hesn't
for him as strong, ses to myself
they is foolish. They hedn't ought
to splice"
"Your Honor" continued Mr..
Mildweed, "arter Uncle Marsh ses
all this to me, goes off aud thinks.
concludes that he is right, and now
/ hev come to the point. saddled
the old brown mare, put some bacon
and corn bread in the saddle bags,
and started fer Little Rock. comes
straight to you, Jedge, and l want
you to make out an attachment for
Nancy to me. | knows that the
courts ken make attachments, and l
don't care what it costs. jest you
make out the papers, and I'll make
the old brown mare do some of the
tallest travelin' gettin' back to Nancy
that you ever saw. Well, why don't
you begin, Jedge3"
"The courts don't make love at
tachments," said the Court, taking
its legs from tho table.
II don't care what 1t costs, Jedge.'
"You have had long trip for
nothing, Ben; 1t can't be DONE"
Ben pulled his hat over his eyes,
wiped trickling drop from his
cheek, and moved slowly toward the
door, muttering:
an go hev the brown mare fed
and study about it. I thought as
how the court might hev done it,"
and he stepped from the Justices
door as if Nancy were lost to him