Northern tribune. [volume] (Cheboygan, Mich.) 1875-1885, 1881-04-02
A Strange Marriage.
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+ A rather strange marriage has just
taken place near Cleveland. Some time
ago Mr.. Bill Tapmyrtle fell desperately
in love with Miss Susan Zinkettle. Miss
Zinkettle was beautiful girl, with long
golden hair and eyes as blue as Lake
Erie. She had soft sigh, like a sudden
Summer stir among hOneysuckle vines
and step as elastic as India rubber.
Now, Ned Tapmyrtle, Bills brother. low
ed the girl with as much warmth as his
brother Bill could muster, and was de-
termined that the girl should be more
than a sister to him. One night Ned
called on the young lady, and just at the
farther end of lag in the conversation,
the young man said;
"Susie, / love you with love that
could not be counterfeited, even by an
expert"
'ToO late, Ned; am engaged to your
brother Bill"
"Then l wilt like young cabbage
plant. The suspended buttons of this
life are broken, and the breeches OF my
existance will hencefOrth drag under
my feet. Good-by, Susie; goOd-by, old
girl"
"Bill." said Ned next morning while
they were feeding the cows, II asked
Susie to be my wife, and she told me
that"
"Yes," broke in Bill, 1--WE are going to
marry"
"Well, now, I'm glad to hear that you
are going to marry. l waited and wait
ed, expecting that YOU would marry her,
but as you didn't, had begun to believe
that you only felt friendship for her
and then thinking that was not likely to
get her for sister, decided to have her
for wife, but when 1 asked her, to my
Joy was informed that she was going
to marry you. I'd much rather have
sister than wife"
"Ned, old boy, throw down that hay
and give me your hand. Blamed If
didn't think that you wanted to marry
her. Oh, what load is lifted from my
heart. Ned, old boy, throw down that
corn and let me grip you again. You
are the most noble brother on record"
bill, when does the ceremony take
placer"
Tomorrow night. The old folks, you
know, are not willing for us to get mar
ried. so we are going to run away"
"a capital idea, William. Have you
got your license?"
''Oh, yes; got 'em here in my pocket.
We are going on horseback over to
Squire ThompsOn's and are going to get
married without getting off our horses.
Everything is arranged. have even
gone so far as to pay him in advance"
"a capital idea, William. But, by the
way, Susie told me to tell you not to
come over until the proper time. | did
Mt know exactly what she meant, but
understand now. To keep down suspic-
ion I'll go over to-day for little while
and tell the old man you are gone to
Cleveland"
you are brick, Ned. You are reg
ular paving stone"
Ned hurried up to the city. went to the
county clerk and said: Captain, | was
in here the other day-Tapmyrtle is my
name and got out pair of marriage
licenses, but in my excitement | gave
you the name of William instead of
Edward. came off in hurry and for
got to bring the wrong license back
Just make the change, please, and I'll
pay you for a new pair. The correction
made, Ned hurried to Susie and told her
that his brother would be on time. Then
hurrying to his brother. he informed
him that Susie requested postpone
ment OF one day; that her cousin was
visiting her. William, of course, con-
scented. At the appointed time, Ned,
mounted On one horse and leading anOth-
er, repaired to Susan's house and gave
the signal. A female figure, wrapped in
heavy cloak, approached. Without ex-
changing word the couple rode to the
place where they were to meet the Squire.
After the ceremony they rode leisurely
to the house of the two brothers. SHARP
trick" unused Ned to himself. "What
will my poor brother say? Such is COM
petition. So much for the bulls and
| bears. Darling he said aloud.
eyes," whispered his companion.
"We are at home"
He assisted his wife to alight. Open
ing the door and entering, he found his
brother and Susie sitting on one chair.
Poor Ned had married a cOlOred girl.
"You are a capital fellow, Ned" said
William. Il discovered your little game
and put up job on you. hope your
wife is WELL"
The colOred girl giggled and Ned sat
on split-bOttOm chair and grOaned.