The Dillon tribune. [volume] (Dillon, Mont.) 1881-1941, 1881-04-23

s,,,ne that is a nightmare at the worst.
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There ar. 10000 60 nncrcial travellers in
this country. Among such an array Of
.,rummers their must needs be many sticks
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
When two gushing young woman make
a great display Of bidding each other goo''
by, It may b. called 'muci adieu about
nothing Lowell Courier.
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law Gould used to work on farm. And
they do sav he could fence more land into
forty.acre piece than any ten other men
could crowd into fiftv. burlington
ilawkeve.
There is u hog in Ohio which is 50 years
ord. This must he ancient Gree ce.-[ Puck
There is bottle of spirits in Kentucky that
i,174 years old. This must b. ancient
ru,n.--.American Queen.
"Yes," said the schoolgirl who had risen
from the lowest to the highest position In
her class. II shall have horseshoe for
my symbol, as it denotes having come from
the foot!"-IIarvard Lampoon.
The Portland Evening Post has had a
tusslc with the rossessive case and got
licked. 1t says LADY Eastiake cmrha-
sizes the presence Of one fine trait in the
character Of the late historian Of Greece's
fe:"-Portland Advertiser.
Thirty days after Michigan man got
divorce from his wife to marry one with
i,nisomer face, the woman FIJI heir to
S,S7,ooo You bet that ex.husband feels
Ike man with the jumping toothac:.e.
\ grand ball: They had grand bali at
Leadville to celebrate Washington's birth
dry. Over 400 were present, six barrels OF
liquor were consumed and seven men killed
Il. free fight, which was exce!lcntly man.
aged. The whole aff.ir was very re.
cherc,e, and will BE- remembered as one OF
the most delightful social affairs that ever
was enjoyed by the best society Of Lead
vile-Boston Post.
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\ Ncw Hampshire farmer recently
agreed to sell his farm for $4,000 but when
the day came he told the expectant pur.
: chaser that his wife was in Mysteries abou,
the trade, and he ''guessed he'd have to
hack out" The purchaser complained,
and finally asked how much more would
Induce him to sell "W.ll," replied the
thrifty son Of the Granite State, "yive me
$500 more, and We'll let her cry"
She modestly averts her eyes:
She hides the blush that will not come,
She gives the most heartrcnding signs;
She gigyles and she bites her thumb,
She wears bright colors, not few,
The charming girl OF fifty.two
She still has hopes that some fine day
A man t, claim her heart will kneel;
And often thinks just what she'll say
b FIRE sh, tlints, and how she'll feel
When kissed-for that's entirely new
10 this old girl Of tifty.two.
II. c. Dodge.
They stood at the door preparatory to
saying good night
"When shall call again?" he asked with
an emotion that made his eyes misty and
his voice soft.
"When papa returns" she answered
calmly.
"And when will that be-" he eagerly
added.
"Wcll, he starts for voyage around tie
world tomorrow, and I'll let you know
when he comes hack"
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A man who was continually Boosting Of
the kindness Of Providence to him once
stepped on banana peel and came to the
earth In spite Of his efforts to recover HIM
self. A friend twitting him on the circum.
stance derisively asked:
"Where did the providence come in on
that occasion?"
"Plainly enough" was the answer. ut
was plank walk; ii it had been stone
one-ah, well, thanks be to providence, it
wasn't"
X French soldier is placed on sentry
over a sixty-tour FOUNDER. When, two
hours later, the guard comes to relieve him
he is not at his post and and is only found
after some trouble in wine shop. "You
internal scoundrel," says the officer Of the
guard, sis that the way you keep watch
Of the cannon committed to your care?
well, Cap" says the soldier, "don't YOU
see, figured the matter up and l found
that it would take ut least twenty men to
move that gun. Suppose one or two came
along; they couldn't do any harm; but Il
there was enough of 'em to carry it away
do you think could prevent them-whir
twenty Of them MYSELF"
Somebody put pepper in Mr.. Grouty'.
cologne bottle, and when he took smrl
att 90. about two spoonsful up his nose, ant
the v he sneezed ~as circusns .ancc
About the time h. had been at it for ten mi:
utes, and was shedding tears copiou>ly
and felt sure that he sh. uld loosen his hal
at the roots, and perhaps his teeth woul'
come out, a friend enters. us any thing tn
matter ," asked the friend. "N.n.a-ca.chor
ooo-ooo-no" answered Groutv, and th-r
when he finally got a littl. quiet he CAV
the bottle to his friend and said: '.Sn,cll c
this. And while tine friend was tcarin