Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1881-09-29

writes: ALLOW me, kind sirs, to ask
you few question, which. [ trust, will
be properly answered by you. am a
constant reader of your interesting
paper and am well aware Of the valuable
advice you are capable of giving to
your numerous inquisitive friends, who,
poor creatures. frequently fall victims
to that unavoidable fate of falling in
love, and being obliged to submit
those profound questions concering
their future, as to which road to take,
the choice of which leads either to hap
piness or misery. [, one of those poor
unfortunates, now propose laying be-
fore you few Of my difficulties. am
girl of eighteen summers, Have
been from school three year. Ever
since that time [ have had two strings
to my bow. The proposal [ had, [
accepted, but without proper considera-
ton, and still continue to be engaged,
though greatly against my wishes,
The second sutton [ also accepted, still
being engaged to the first. A third
party now appears, and once more do [
yield to the blissful influence, of Cupid,
and plunge more deeply into the depths
of folly. Oh, horrors! how am [ to be
freed from the frowns and hard feelings
that certainly await me from the first
and third suitors, for [ sincerely love
the second; but [ am afraid if l refuse
the other two, that all my fun before
marrying will fall short and [ shall lead
lonely life. Now what am | to do
in order to still continue having lively
time? [ am given to the love of gale
| ty, and without it, am, comparatively
speaking, like fish out of water.
Please answer all questions in your next
issue, and pray be candid with me, for
the two lovers Gas [ suppose you call
them) [ wish 20 dismiss, if possible,
with no hard feelings existing on their
part. Does water change the hair to
darker or lighter shade? Do you think
it wrong to firt? Do you think it wrong
to kiss when engaged?" Oh, Dorcas.
how could you? You are most GER
tainly a much engaged girl, and as you
privately express an earnest desire for
US to speak exactly what We think, we
will frankly say in answer to your first,
that we think that to the party whom
you "sincerely love" is due the preten-
ded charity you would bestow on the
discarded lovers; to them we extend
our congratulations. As to how you
shall continue having your "tively
tinas," we would say that, to our mind,
the best way to do is to retain she three
lovers, (if you can and if they possess
the average amount of Americanism,
you will probably have a plenty of
that commodity. AS to how you will
meet the frowns Of the mourning ones,
we must say, Dorcas, that we don't
know. We were there. Ask US one
without bay window to it. We have
watered our hair for thirty years and
it still lives. We should not, however,
advise that preferred lover to use that
mild emolient, fox we are of the opinion
that he will soon enough find his
capillary covering, under your gentle
influences, much too thin. AS to firt-
ing, we are under the painful necessi-
ty of pleading, like yourself, inexcusa-
BILE inexpreience in the matter. Do We
think it wrong to kiss? All! uni
yes, we do. And as we wipe our
weeping eyes" we wonder how we
could have been 80 naughty. "How
are the mighty fallenl" Don't do so
some more, Dorcas, don't.