Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1881-01-06
HOW A SCOLD WAS SELENCED.

the famous Irish lawyer, is from the interest
ing published volume on ''The Irish Bar"
One of his most memorable encounters in
the wordy war was with a notorious Virago
who kept a small huckster shop on the Quay
of Dublin, opposite the Four Courts. She
was named Biddy Moriarty, and acquired
such reputation for the use of foul words that
no respectable persons would venture to accost
her save on most peaceable terms
O'COnnell'S power us a master OF rhetoric
when but a Junior at the bar, INDUCED some
members of the bar to back him against Biddy
and entering into the joke he accepted the
offer, and promised to have a tOngue-tlt
with this redoubtable scold. OCOnnell was
very confident of success he laid al ingen-
ious plan for overcoming her, and with all
the anxiety of an ardent eXperimentallst, wait
ell to put it in practice. He resolved to open
the attack At this time O'Connell's own par.
tv and the lawyers about the place formed IN
audience quite sufficient to rouse Mrs. Mori
arty, on public provOcation, to due eXhibi.
ton of her powers. O'COnnell commenced
the attack:
"Whats the price of this walking-stick,
Mrs. What's your name -
'Moriarty, sir, is my name, and good one
it is; and what have you to say agin it =
and one and SiXpence is the price OF this
stick-troth, tits chape as dirt, so it is"
zone and six pence for walking stick
Whew Why you are no better than an i'm.
postor to ask eighteen pence for what cost
you two pence
1.-TWO pence your grandmOther!' replied
Bddy. ''Do you name to say it is cheaAng
the people am Impostor indeed!'
"Ah, impostOr; and it's that | call you to
your teeth rejoined O'Connell.
Come, cut your stick you cantankerous
jackanapes. -
"Keep a civil tongue in your head, you old
diagonal :" cried O'Connell, calmly.
''Stop your jaw, you pug-nOsed badger, or
by this and that,n cried Mrs. Morarty, "l'll
make you go quicker than you came
''Don't be in Il passion, my old radius: an
ger only wrinkles your beauty"
by the holy, if you say another word OF
mpllence. I'll tan your dirty hide, you baste-
ly scrub; and sorry I'd be to soil my fists upon
your carcass
''Whew, boys, what a passion old Biddy is
in protest, as I'm a gentleman.
Gentleman! gintleman the likes of you a
gintleman WislG, that bangs Banagher.
Why, you potato-faced pippin-squeeZer. where
did Madagascar monkey. like you, pick up
enough of common Christian decency to hide
your Kerry brogue?'
Easy now, easy now" cried O'Connell.
with imperturbable good humor; ''dont choke
yourself with fine language, you old whisky
drinking wrallelogram.
'.What's that you call me, you murdern'
villain 20 roared Mrs. Moriarty, stung with
fury.
III call you," answered O'Comell, "a paral-
telegram, and Dublin Judge and jury '@lll
say its no libel to call you So
tor 'OuOIS oh Won rufliIn that
an honest woman, like me, should he called
farrybelygrum to her face. Now. I'm none
of your farrylHlygrumS, you rascally galloWS-
bird you cowardly, sneaking, plate-licklng
blaggard.'
oh not you, indeed ~ retorted O'Connell.
''Why, suppose you deiy that you keep ly-
pothenuse in your house,
cts Il lie for you, you robber; I never had
such Il thing in my house, you swlndllng
thipf.'
'Ah you can't deny the charge, you miser-
able submultiple of Il duplicate ratO.'
.'You s;lucy tinker's apprentice, if you don t
cease your jaw. I'll-'' But here she gasped
for breath, while O'C0nnell proceeded:
ssWhile have tongue III abuse you, you
most inimitable periphery. Look at her,
boys there she stands convicted perpendicu-
lar in pettcoatS. There, she trembles with
guilt down to the eXtremitieS OF her cOrola-
rics. All you're found out, you rectiineal
antecedent and equiangular old hag you por-
ter-swilling smilitutle Of the dissection OF Il
vortrX.'
OConnrll won the bet. He well knew the
use of sound in vituperatiOn. and having to
deal with an ignorant scold, he determined to
overcome her in volubility by using all the SEX
quipetlalia verba which occur in Euclid.
With these and a few significant epithets,
and Il soothing, impudent demeanor, he had Tor
once impressed silence on Biddy Moriarty.
q" When the Constitution was adopted there
were seventy-tivc poStolces i'll the Union.
Now There are ONrr FORTY thousand.