davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
, 1881-12-11

season in Paris with her daughter, pnpn pa u
Nine Grange has ssceNn,ty avenuo has
cnnc to Michigan on vislt- - r,,r1,,r1.
The rev. E. r. Adams and " wife Of DHnni s1nniev
NY. are guests Of Mr. and Mfs' L. - o'S"'e''
OF Gaf I'd s. carran Fond au Lac WIS., and
Miss Fioe 0rmsby, Of St Joseph mco of WIZ Iho
married last "Wednesday At the rfsnencS in veil and
faxorably 6.,aa Known, The affair was notabls one
society tee@sa e1fess ahe of'er mop -
~, w rnd1ino fo,,r will from here extend 70
Fond du Lac, the future home OIL ene n"pps e0'A'
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1881-10-19
Old MudgeOn's Trick.

And he was full Of such tricks. He
was mean, grasping man, and he
was fond Of joke, if he could be the
joker, and could profit thereby. We
speak Of old Caleb Mudgeon, whilom Il
justice of the peace and quorum, in
Oxford county, Me. Once upon time
in the days before the overland
travel by steam-when Addison La
than drove the stage coach from Port
land to Bethel, old Mudgeon took pas
sage with him at Portland, and rode
us far as South Paris, when the stage
stopped for change of horses, and such
refreshments as the passengers might
elect, at NIason's tavern; and where
Squire Mudgeon, having ridden as far
as he wished, proposed to settle; La
than charged him fifty cents. Hc OBJ
jected seriously to the price.
Said hc-"You carry a man more'n
fifty miles for two dollars, and here
you be chargin' me half dollar for
no distance at all.
Latham told him he had ridden ten
miles, and fifty cents was his usual
charge for that distance. But old
Mudgeon declared that he hadn't rid
den ten miles whereupon Latham
grew wroth, and intimated pretty
strongly that he didn't know what he
was talking about.
Look here, Latham, will you swear
at I've rid ten full miles on your stage
to-day ?"
"Of course | will"
Mason, where's your Bible? am
goin' to have this thing done sec,oulem
artena, as the lawyers say. There now
put your hand OH the book, old feller y
Latham did not hesitate. He laid
his hand upon the Good Book and de-
clared under oath that he had "well
and truly, and in legal manner, car
ried Caleb Mudgeon, Esq, ten full
statute miles, as in such cases made
and provided, in his public conveyance,
yclept stage coach" etc.
"Well," said Mudgeon, as he gave
the book back to the landlord, 81
s'pose l must believe you now, whether
or no. So there's your fare. F"
Not quite, old fellow. Here's but
a quarter-two ninepences p
"Eggsactly! and that's what's COM
in to you. You will just remember
at the law allows me twenty five cents
for administerin' the oath D'you see ?"
Yes. Latham saw. And though it
cost him little something at the time,
yet, in latter days, no man enjoyed
telling the story more than did he.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1881-10-19

"They cured me of ague, bilious
ness and kidney complaint as recon-
mended. l had half bottle left,
which used for two little girls who
the doctors and neighbors said could
not be cured. Iwould have lost both
of them one night If ! had not given
them Hop Bitters. They did them so
much good l continued their use un-
til they were cured. That is why
say you do not know half the value
of Hop Bitters, and do not recon-
mend them high enough."-B., Roch-
ester, N. York. See other column.
532w2.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1881-10-19
AST'HN[
COUGHS
COLDS

REFERENCES: Senator j. q. Blaine,
Washington, ID. c., VIM. +. Kidder,
New York, Chaplain c. G. McCabe,
Chicago, ILL.,, Rev. A. S. Weed, Zion's
Herald, also publisher Boston Pilot,
Rev. DR.. Torsey, ID. D., LII. d., Kent's
Hill, Me, j. e. Field, Alpena, Mich,
and thousands of others. "The most
famous of all the medicines in the
market is Adamson's Botanic Balsam. "
Springfield Republican. "'rhe
workings of Adamson's Balsam are
daily astonishing the most eminent
physicians."-Boston journal. Sold
by oil respectable druggists aud deal
ers. Price, 80 and 75 cts. "New
trial size" 10 cts. +. w. KINsMAN g.
Co., Proprietors, Augusta, Me. 51s
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1881-10-19
"What shall we do with our dau,

"What shall we do with our daugh.
ters?' began the lecturer-a fair lady
to look upon, by the way. Judging
from what / sec before me-" said a
modest-appearing, middle-aged gentle
man in the audience, 81 should not sup.
pose there need be any trouble about
that question. A question more to the
point would be, Have you enough OF
them to go 'round?'
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1881-10-19

II remember" said Brewer, 81 re-
member two young men who used to
board at my house-they are both
dead now." The crowd broke into a
meaning smile, and Brewster wondered
why they didn't wait for the funny
part of the story to come.--Lowell
Courier.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1881-10-19

HIM n Yourselves by making money when
HUAU lie golden chance is offered, thereby
Faways keeping poverty from your
HIIuIu door. Those who always take edvsn-
1All1 II tagc OF the good chances for making
money that offered, generally be-
como wealthy while those who do not improve such
chances remain in poverty. We want many men
women, boys and girls to work for right In their
own localities. The business will pay than ten
time. ordinary wages. We furnish an expensive out
ht and all that you need, free No one who engages
falls TO make money very rapidly. You devote
your whole time 70 tho work, only your spare
inents. Full information and all that il needed sent
free. Address stinson & Co., Portland, Maine 4e9yi
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1881-10-19

Is a man who owns two wigs, one his
own and the other stolen, supposed to
be guilty of wigamy New York Com
mercial ADVERTISER. Better refer the
question TO hair-splitting lawyer,
first dividing it into two heads.-Nor-
ristown Herald.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1881-10-19

We are going to Arkansas and start
a newspaper, calling it "Quinine and
Whisky" Everybody will take it,
Modern Argo. Better call it Fever
and Ague,' for people take that first
-Somerville Journal Correct! Let's
shake.-Yawcob Strauss.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1881-10-19

Forty acres of land belonging to one
Jones, of Montana, went over Oh an
other mans farm one night in II land
slide, and Jones is finally being sued
for trespass.--Dctroit Free Press.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1881-10-19

"This butter, Mr.. Spicer," said a
dealer, carried off the prize at the
farmers fair" and Seth spat out a
taste of the compound and remarked :
'Unlcss the prize was a ships anchor
and chain cable, should think the
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1881-10-19

Salt Rheum for seventeen years.
Helpless for eight years. Unable to
walk. Got about on hands and knees.
Head, face, neck, arms and legs COW
cred. Cured by Cuticura Remedies.
viii Mcdonald, 2,542 Dearborn ST.,
Chicago.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1881-10-19
ADvwu~rsrrc v.--.

line A ''i every
Local Notices, ten cents per line each insertion
and all notices continued Tor three month. -,
longer, a discount Of 20 per cent A' VI
Advertisements unaccompanied NV written N /.
verbal directions will be published three month !.
Advertisements, under contract, ordered out be .
tore expiration Of time will be charmed full rates
Y, 20 paper discontinued until all arrearages ars
Yance.
30 Terms. CASH. payable quarterly. )
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1881-10-19

Bread is the staff of music as well
as Of life for do not the scales of notes
start off on dough Webster Times.
They do.-Cambridge Tribune. La,
me! is not this ia fetched. Elevated
Railway Journal. Not bit Of it.
Bread has to start off OH dough before
it can rise. Si?--Cambridge 81 Tribune.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1881-10-19

1t is always fall election for the
defeated candidates. .-Picayunc.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1881-10-19

This is a beautiful language of ours.
Ben. Hogan, the retired pugilist, who
has turned preacher, is spoken of as
the ex-pounder of the prize ring and
ex-pounder of the gospel.-Chronicle.
Herald.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1881-10-19
CHAS. ". CORNELL,
Architect & DrauShtSman.

Office IN Comstoek block, Second street, AL
Pena, Mich. win furnish plans and specifications for
buildings, and superintend the construction OF the
same If desired. Win also give attention to the
making and copying of maps. All kinds of orna-
mental designs, writing and lettering in India Ink
sonnhio rntos
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1881-10-19
butter would have carried it off easily"
Boston Commercial Bulletin.

Nowadays, when you see husband
and wife together in public, you may
make up your mind that there are
neither children or lap dogs in the fam
lily. If such were the case, the hus-
band would have to remain at home
with the children while the wife went
out with the dog.-Lowell Citizen.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1881-10-19

j. w. Riley has poem ON "The
Lost Kiss" He doesn't make it very
plain as TO how he lost it, but it is pre-
sumed her mother came into the room
just in time to catch her at it.-Roches-
ter Express.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1881-10-19

The New York Commercial Adver-
tiser speaks of Cory O'Lanus as the
only Irish play of Shakespeare, evident
ly forgetting O'Thcllo, who was one of
the Moores of lreland.-Boston Com
mercial Bulletin.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1881-10-19

There are some experiences in life
which makes us feel like the boy who,
when he stubbed his toe against sharp
stone, said he was too big to cry and too
badly hurt to laugh.-Free Press.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1881-10-19
Canada Southern Railway,
only american Line 7hro,gh
Canada.

UFtVV ]IHttItUttIt IItItt IWVt.W
CaR0da.
The popular route TO Buffalo, Niagara Fell New
York. Boston, and all points east steel rail- smooth
track, no curves low grade, Westingh ouse Air
Brake and superior equipment, making it the fa-
vorite limo from Michigan TO the cas-. I rains
leave Detroit as follows:
Atlantic Express, daily, 400 IN
Day Express, daily, l2;O0m
. Lightning Esp, daily except Sunday, Halo D IN
Toledo Exp, daily, except Sunday, $50 IN
st. Louis Exp, daily, $40 m
Fayette Exp, daily, except Sunday, $50 p IN
Cincinnati Exp, daily, except Sunday, $50 p m
Wagner Palace Cars ON all trains. Agents
will telegraph for berths, etc Tickets and all i'm
formation furnished by
A. L. FLETCHER, Agent, Alpena.
W. l.. MUIR, NJ. c. ROACH.
Gen. Manager. Pass. Agent, Detroit.
+. Il. SNOW. g. p. & L. A., Detroit.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1881-10-19
A Great Cause of Human Misery
Is the Loss Of
EIZyZfEYsYlY

A lecture the nature, treatment and radica
cure of seminal weakness or spermatorrho.n indue-
ed by self-abusc, involuntary emissions impotency
nervous debility, and impcdimcnts 20 marriage gen
orally; consumption, epilepsy and fits; mental and
physical incapacity, &c.-By ROBERT y. CULVER
WELL, Nj. D., author of the "Grcen Book, &c.
Tho world-renowned author, in this admirable lee
awful consequences of sefabuse may be effectually
removed without dangerous surgical operations
bougcs Instruments, rings cordias; pointing out
mode of cure at certain and esectual by which
every sufferer, matter what his condition may be-
may cure himself oheaply, privately and radically
thousands.
Sent under seal, in plain envelope 10 any address
postpaid, receipt Of six cents or two postage
stamps. We have also sure cure for Tapo Worm
Address, THE CULVERwELL MEDICAL co.
Al Ann St. New York, N. " Post Office Box a5s6.
50iyl
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1881-10-19

The yacht Madge is triumping mad
gestically over NIL competitors.-Low-
ell Courier.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1881-10-19
the GREAT
BURLINGTON ROTTE


eB No other line runs Three Through Pas
senger Trains Daily between Chicago. Des
Moines, Council Bluffs, Omaha. Lincoln, St
Joseph, Atchison, Topeka and Kansas City
Direct connections for all points in Kansas
Nebraska, Colorado, Wyoming. Montana, Ne
yada, New Mexico, Arizona, Idaho, Oregon and
California.
The Shortest, Speediest and Most Comforta-
Bile Route via Hannibal to Fort Scott, Denison,
Dallas, Houston, Austin, San Antonio, Calves
ton and all points in Texas.
Tho unequaled Inducements offered by this
Line to Travellers and Tourists, arc as follows:
The celebrated Pullman Q6-wheeD Palace
Sleeping Cars run only on this Line, c., B. &
@ Palace Drawing-Room Cars, with Horizons
Keclining Chairs. No extra charge for Seats
in Reclining Chairs. The famous c., n. & Q.
Palace Dining Cars. Gorgeous Smoking Cars
htted with Elegant High-Backed Rattan Re-
volving Chairs for the exclusive use of first
Steel Track and Superior Equipment, COM
bined with their Great Through Car Arrange
ment, makes this, above all others, the favorfte
West.
Try IT, and you will find travelling luxury
instead of "a discomfort.
Through Tickets via this Celebrated Line
Tor sale Mt all Offices in the United states and
Canada.
AL information about Rates OF Fare, Sleep
lng Gar Accommodations, Time Tables. &C.,
Will be cheerfully given by applying to
JAMES r. WOOD,
General Passenger Agent, Chicago
r. ]. POTTER,
General Manager, Chicago.
5O2wiu
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1881-10-19

Greenbaum & Epsteyn occupy this space, but
they are so busy opening New Goods and wait
ing OH general rush of customers at their New
Stores is the COmstOck block, that they have no
time to write an advertisement.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1881-10-19

A prominent New York lawyer con.
fidentially informs lis that during his
experience he has never met with a
divorce case but what there was q
woman in it.-Yonkers Gazette.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1881-10-19
Detroit & Bav City Railroad.
GOING NORTH,

Flag stations.
All trains daily except Sundays.
Night express in both directions has Wagner
sleeping ear attached TO and from Saginaw and
Bay City and Detroit.
:. II. GALLAWAY, c. f. BARRON,
Gen'l Supt. Gen'i Pass Agt.
w. w. HEAFFORD, Travelling Agent.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1881-10-19

"ln Paris the hours for calls are
from 3 to 8 p. NJ. In this country they
play all ght.-Boston Post
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1881-10-19

Ida Lewis has saved two members of
a brass band from drowning. Ida's
popularity is rapidly decreasing since
the rash act.-Ncw York Commercial
Advertiser
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1881-10-19

Loves young dream" usually
merges into matrimonial nightmare
New York Daily News.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1881-10-19

American cheese was strong enough
to carry off the prize at fair in Bir-
mingham, England.-Picayune.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1881-10-19

He who gives soft hats to his friends
makes his presents felt.-New York
News
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1881-10-19

If pain in the limbs comes through
sleeping without covering Oh cold
nights, common sense would suggest a
counterpanc.-Ncw Orleans Picayune.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1881-10-19

Advice from the Greek: "Know
thyself' is good advice. And to find
out all about yourself in the shortest
time get nominated for office.-Lowell
Citizen.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1881-10-19
WIT AND HUMOR.

1t Is always a fall election for the
defeated candidates.-Picay
He who gives soft hats to his friend,
makes his presents felt-New York
News.
The yacht Madge is triumping mad
gestically over all comprehension.
ell Courier.
"Love's young dream" usually
merges into matrimonial nightmare
New York Daily News.
"ln Paris the hours for calls are
from to q p. NJ. In this country they
play all night.-Boston Post.
American cheese was strong enough
to carry off the prize at fair in Bir-
mingham, England.-Picayune
The Boston Transcript intimates that
a brush must be expected when an In
dian puts on his war paint.-Free
Press.
Last words of departing house
wife: "See that my stoop is kept
clean. New York Commercial Ad-
vertiser.
Before the marriage she was dear
and he was her treasure, but after
wards she became dcarcr and he treas
urer.--l'rec Press.
Standardization is the prettiest way
to hold the hand p Why, so that the
other side can't see what cards you've
got.-Boston Post.
A Mormon never speaks of his bet
ter half, but Of his eighth OF sixteenth,
as the case may be.-New York Com
mercial Advertiser.
1t is great triumph for State rights
that Mr.. Arthur cannot remove Mr..
Hayes from his Office of Road Com
missioner.-Courier journal.
If pain in the limbs comes through
sleeping without covering on cold
nights, common sense would suggest a
counterpanc.-Ncw Orleans Picayune.
Advice from the Greek: "Know
thyself" is good advice. And to find
out all about yourself in the shortest
time get nominated for office.-Lowell
Citizen.
Ida Lewis has saved two members ol
brass band from drowning. Ida's
popularity is rapidly decreasing since
the rash act.-New York Commercial
Advertiser.
A prominent New York lawyer con.
fidentially informs lis that during his
experience he has never met with a
divorce case but what there was q
woman in it.-Yonkers Gazette.
There are some experiences in life
which makes us feel like the boy who
when he stubbed his toe against a sharp
stone, said he was too big to cry and too
badly hurt to laugh.-Free Press.
--------
This is a beautiful language of ours.
Ben. Hogan, the retired pugilist, who
has turned preacher, is spoken of as
the ex-pounder of the prize ring and
ex-pounder of the gospel.-Chronicle.
Herald.
j. w. Riley has a poem on "The
Lost Kiss" He doesn't make it very
plain as TO how he lost it, but it is pre-
sumed her mother came into the room
just in time to catch her at it.-Roches-
ter Express.
The New York Commercial Adver-
tiser speaks of Cory OLanus as the
only Irish play of Shakespeare, evident
ly forgetting O'Thcllo, who was one of
the Moores of lreland.-Boston Com
mercial Bulletin.
We are going to Arkansas and start
a newspaper, calling it "Quinine and
Whisky" Everybody will take it.
Modern Argo. Better call it "Fever
and Ague," for people take that first.
-Somerville journal. Correct! Let's
shake.-Yawcob Strauss.
Is man who owns two wigs, one his
own and the other stolen, supposed to
be guilty of wigamy New York Com
mercial Advertiser Better refer the
question TO hair-splitting lawyer,
first dividing it into two heads.-Nor-
ristown Herald.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1881-10-19

II is II great triumph for State rights
that Mr.. Arthur cannot remove Mr..
Hayes from his office of Road Com
missioner.-Courier journal.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1881-10-19

The Boston Transcript intimates that
brush must be expected when an In
dian puts on his war paint.-Free
Press.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1881-10-19

Standardization is the prettiest way
to hold the hand p Why, so that the
other side can't see what cards you've
got.-B0ston Post.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1881-10-19

A Mormon never speaks of his bet
ter half, but of his eighth OF sixteenth
as the case may be.-New York Com
mercal Advertiser.
Centre Democrat. [volume] (Bellefonte, Pa.) 1848-1989, 1881-12-08
BELLEFoNTE, PA. THURSDAY, DECEMBER s, 1881

GUITEAU's trial is approaching its
end. The defence has about concluded
the evidence that will be offered in his
behalf, and after the lawyers and judge
have had their say in the case, the re-
sponsibility of decision will fall
upon the jury. A strong effort has
been made to show that the prisoner
is insane, but what impression the ef.
fort has made upon the jury will not be
known until after verdict is rendered.
The prisoner has continued his absurd
interruptions down TO the present time,
and has given the trial more the char
acter of roaring farce than a serious
transaction in which the life of hu-
man being is at stake.
Centre Democrat. [volume] (Bellefonte, Pa.) 1848-1989, 1881-12-08
The Death Of General fitzpatrick.

The consul at valpafaiso telegrnphs
% the State Department that Minister
Judson Fitzpatrick died at Santiago on
Sunday last. he vias Born Ia New Jer.
sey Ia 1858 aud gfadualed &c West
Point in April, 1861. He served as
captain at the battle of Big Bethel. and
In the autumn Of the same year became
lieutenant colonel 81 cavalry. In
1862 he took part in various operations
OF the Army Of The Potomac. He was
appointed 9 brigadier general Of volun.
teers IN Nay. 1868, after which be en-.
gagged in raid 20 release the Federal
prisoners At Richmond. lie command
81 the cavalry OF Sherman'a army On
tie march from Atlanta te the SEA.
Alter the var he took N active part IN
politics. being minister 20 Chill during
Grants Gfzl term. II 1872 he support.
e the nomination of Horace Greeley.
ie was appointed minister q Chill -
President Garfield zaon after hls acces.
slen last March. IIe has been III foF
some Tins md hiA death has been e..
pecsed,
Centre Democrat. [volume] (Bellefonte, Pa.) 1848-1989, 1881-12-08

Mr.. GIBSON, the detective attorney
employed by the late Attorney Gener-
al to investigate the star route thieves,
has made an exhaustive report, and is
now receiving the abuse of their
friends. He finds ample evidence to
convict Brady, Dorsey, & Co. of all
the crimes charged against them. But,
these political debauchers and thieves
have earned impunity of the stalwart
party, and we predict it will not fail
them in the Arthur administration,
whatever the pretence may be.
Centre Democrat. [volume] (Bellefonte, Pa.) 1848-1989, 1881-12-08

Two of the brave reformers, Messrs.
Bayue and Campbell, who recently
participated in the Continental confer
ence to inaugurate measures to correct
the boss methods of managing the Re
publican party, within the party lines,
had taste the other day of Don's
whip in bossing the Pennsylvania del
egation in Congress. The majority Of
the Pennsylvania Republican mem
bers, among whom were the reformers
above named, favored the election Of
Hiscock of New York, for speaker of
the House. But Don, after visit to
the master boss at New York, called a
halt, and the boys had to vault to the
other side, and take Keifer, of Ohio.
Bayne and Campbell, it is said, did
some good swearing, but the master
ordered, and Don manages to be obey
ed.
Centre Democrat. [volume] (Bellefonte, Pa.) 1848-1989, 1881-12-08

The Judges of the Supreme Court,
despairing of Gov. Hoyt having suffi-
cient courage to call an extra-session
of the legislature this winter, have con-
cluded to do a little legislation on
their own hook. They have virtually
abolished the Judicial Districts estab-
lished for the convenience of the yari.
Gus parts of the State, for the purpose
of locating the Courts permanently in
Philadelphia.