The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1881-01-27
The Gnu that Would be Famous.

y
and clever gnu. 1 need not say where
Makalolo is it can be found in any large
atlas. but wen l studied geography it
was painted yellow, and marked "Unex-
plored.'
When TINS wonderful gnu was five
years old he was wiser than his parents
and his grandparents. Indeed, in his
own opinion, there was not another crea-
ture in the world so wise as he. ''Shall
T bury my talents in this out of-the way
corner of the earth?' he would say to
himself. "No, something within my
breast declares to me, l am no common
gnu. The world shall hear of me, and
i'll the distant future history will call me
Bay, 'ildic, the celebrated gnu!'
IL had not long to wait, for when he
was light years old an agent OF Abindab
Hubbei, n great Snowman, went through
Makalo lo, hiring animals to appear in
his exhibition
"You will he carried from place to
place in grand carriage, said the agent.
"You will have plenty Of the best food {,
and receive kind and courteous treat
ment from an attendant who vii always
be at your service; and you will soon
become famous, for i'll every town por-
trait of you will be hung in some promi-
nent place, and great poets will be hired
to write your praises"
Bayphildic thought, 'This is the OPP
portunity for me, and engaged to travel
with the great "Moral Show and Excel
sior Menagerie" for four years, and in
payment he was to receive board, lodg-
ing and attendance, and would have a
chance to see the world and become
famous.
At the expiration of his engagement
he returned to his own country worn
out and disguised gnu, and in no long
time ny died. But shortly after he
came home he invited his friends to
visit, and told them the story of his
adventures and search after fame.
"Alas, my friends" said he, eff you
knew what I know not gnu OF you
would ever covet the applause of the
world. Before / started on my travels
pictured to myself delightful journey.
attentive servants at my command, and
an admiriEg public 10 do me homage
How different was the reality from my
dreams. He who endeavors to win the
notice of the multitude must endure all
sorts of hardships and humiliations, and
the paltry fame he acquires is not worth
one moment of the happiness and con-
tentment he may enjoy every day at
home eating grass i'll qu;etness with his
friends.
'In place of the liberty was prom
ised, became a prisoner. For D car
riage | had a little filthy car, set upon
wheels without springs, and which jolted
me so as we journeyed over roue, roads,
l often felt that all my faculties were for
saking me. My attendant punched me
with sharp stick when l fell asleep,
and gave me sickening drug that made
me sleep when l wanted to keep awake
and when we reached a town, instepd CT
presenting me free and untrammeled to
the itors that thronged to see me, one
side of the car was removed revealing an
inner cage of iron bars, through which
the strongest gnu could not break, and
nv portrait, instead of being proi 'nent,
occupied an inconspicuous corner Of the
general advertisement. To be sure my
Imprisonment had its good side, for near
me were lions, and tigers and the dread
ful hyena. animals that made me shud-
der to look at; and just across the tent
was a large cage in which glittered a
monstrous serpent who always kept her
Jewel like eyes fixed on me. Overcome
as was with fear and disgust, l felt that
the public did not see me to advantage,
and / demonstrated with my attendent.
telling him that l was no flesh eater, that
all nv friends and family subsisted like
myself upon tender young grass and
leaves, and that preferred not to ASSOC
ciate with beasts that would tear us all
in pieces if they only had chance.
{. IF YOU want to be famous said he,
syou must make up your mind to meet all
sorts of animals. and not only put up
with their peculiarities gracefully, but
Won must praise them for the very quail
ties YOU fear and despise. l warn you
thai persistence in your present course
will e,l YOU into trouble. Each one
has his let of admirers. The lions and
liz tigers draw about them as big q
CT ,wd as you do; and the snake that You
40 dislike is the favorite of the ladies'
"You can easily imagine" continued
Bayphildic, THAT after that my taste for
pubiic life waned considerably. But n
new distress was in store for me. One
day the zebra, my next neighbor, wins.
pered through the bars OF his cage that
there were bad stories circulating among
the animals about my relative. 1T Is
said,' whispered he, putting up his hoof
beside his mouth, that no one might
hear. that your grandfather was q robber,
your grandmother an idiot, your father
n murderer and your mother liar; and
taat Won yourself are no better than you
ought to he, that in fact you made an en-
gagenlont with Mr.. Hubbel to escape
from Makalolo, and the punishment due
vuur crimes