Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1881-10-15
The Lime-Kiln Club.


al has received letter from Boston," slowly
remarked Brother Gardner, as he squinted from
Samuel Shin to Waydown Bebee. 81 has re-
ceived a letter from Boston akin me fur my OBJ
servashuns on de inf1ooence of music on man.
kind. reply dat mankind widOt music would
be chawin' each Odder up in half day. Music
am de stone wall dat surrounds marcy, peace,
charity and humanity. Only las week l war
writin down my Observashuns fur de las forty
seven airs, and will glib dem to de public as
follows:
ode SCUM of hoss-iddle brings up old rec
kOleckshuns an starts de tear Of regret. If
played long nuff, an de wind am In de right di-
reekshun it will cause de listener to shell out
subscripshun Of 50 600 lords a new Guild Bap-
fist Church. Try it once and be convinced.
DE SCUM Of harp hits man below the belt.
He begins to fink of all de mean fings he ever
did, an to wish he hadn't, an at de eand of fif-
teen minits he am all ready to step ober an pay
his naybur dollar apiece for de hens he shot in
his garden las spring.
"De SCUM of de fiddle grabs on to seben diff
ferent hart strings to once, an man am
knocked 80 fiat dat he will esteem it privilege
to len you So
de jewsharp goes right to de soul. If your
wife am all ready to lope off wild de hired man
de notes of de jewsharp will take her bonnet off
in sixteen seconds. II you keep a hired man
you should also keep jewsharp.
"Piaher music sometimes hits and sometimes
go home an pass two hull hours widOut cuffin'
de chilPen, and lie known it to cause young
gal to slide down Ober de roof Of de kitchen an
lOpe off wild de owner of side-shOw.
DE guitar allus brings sadness an resOlu-
shun to begin on de LIST of Jinuary to quit run
MIN out nights an playing policy.
DE brass band might sOOthe sorrowin' soul
if de said sOrrowin' soul didn't have all he could
do to hold his boss
"De melodeon used to produce desire on
de part of de listener to be buried under yew-
yew tree, but h'ar dey have improved it so dat
pusson had as lief be buried under bass
wood.
Ode organ fills de soul wild awe an strikes de
heroic chord. If you am layin' fur man doan'
tackle him jst arter he has bin takin' in de
notes Of an organ.
"De banjo-yum! II You want my dog-my
hoss-my house an lot, play me de banjo an
keep time wild yer fut. / spect de music Of an
gelic harps am sweet an soft an dreamy, but
If dey want to keep Us cuRd folks satisfied up
dar' leetle mo- banjo an leetle less harp am
de fust prescription. Let us now attack de
biZness Of de meeting"
Am Brudder Blue Glass Henderson in de
hall tO-night?" blandly inquired the president
as !, he stood up and looked around.
"Will he please step dis way?"
The brother stepped. He didn't seem to be
easy in his mind, and he kept his eyes ON the
cOfee-pOt once owned by the poet Milton in
stead of facing the president.
Brudder Henderson. you war in a butcher
shop on Beaubien street las Wedne sday fo'noon?"
Eyes, sah.''
"When you went out de. butcher missed two
slices OF ham, an you war followed an s'arched.
"Yes, sah."
"In one of your coat-tail pockets dey found,
not the three slices Of ham but a pound and
half of beef"
Eyes. sah"
"YOu couldn't tell war you got dat beef to
save your life, an you let the butcher keep it. :"
Eyes. sab, but de charge was stealin' ham,"
= "Just so, Brudder Henderson, just so. Dey
missed ham an dey found beef. 1t am plain
huff dat you didn't take de goods charged, but
want you to understan' dat when dey miss ham
an find beef on member of dis club dat MEM
Der has had de VERY closest sort of a shave from
bein' bounced Off our books an outer de hail.
Take your seat, sab, an let dis be de awfullest
kind of a warnin' to YOU"