davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Osceola times., 1881-12-03
"Mark Twain"
Detroit Free Press.

Among the visitors at the mayors
Office yesterday was an odd-looking
man, who asked an audience with the
mayor. The latter's clerk informed the
caller that the mayor was not in, but he
would communicate any message which
,hc cal cr might entrust him with.
well" said the visitor, Il came here
ON very important business, which must
be attended TO-"
What is it?" asked the clerk.
II have an invention to prevent forest
ircs, and desire to be appointed one
II the members Of the relief commits
sion"
Il don't think that can be done, as the
commission is full" said the clerk.
"W hatl | would like TO know the
reason why. You don't know who am,
10 you?'
The clerk replied in the negative.
Il am Mark Twain" shouted the CALI
er. "Yes, sir; the original Mark Twain,
and | want you TO understand it. | am
the only and original Mark Twain"
81 am glad to meet you, Mr.. Twain,
said the clerk.
perhaps you doubt what | say; but |
offer to bet you 81 600 that can prove
my identity, and can put up the money,
too"
The clerk intmatea that the sum was
too steep, and MARK Twain" then be-
gan unfolding document; but before
he got fairly into the merits OF the case
he was invited to leave, which he did
reluctantly, again declaring that he was
the only and original Mark Twain, and
had the best scheme in the world tor the
prevention of forest fires.
The Osceola times., 1881-12-03
HOUSEHOLD C0LuMN,
An Interesting Bug, and How 10 Get Rid
of Him-Reclpe-.

How do they Gomez | wish they made
noise like mosquitoes; but mol they
come upon you like thief in the night,
| while all is quiet. | am thankful that a
bite wakes me at once, else ! might not
have known to this day that the enemy
was In our midst. Ii was more than
two weeks after ! felt the first alarm,
and lita lamp to kill the foe, before was
/ able to clear the suspicious chamber.
| Every day turned up the corners ofthe
mattresses and examined the bedsteads
and scrutisized all the bedding aud WALL.
but never bug did | see except IN toe
night. Only a few nights before the
cleaning found the first small bugs,
half dozen adults having preceded
them on previous nights.
| never sleep soundlv when | SUSPECT
bedbugs, but lighta lamp and 90 TO hunt.
ing whenever / hear child nesting un.
easily. began TO clean the chamber by
examining all the clothing as took it
down from the hook; all the articles OF
furniture as | removed them from the
rooms; then every article OF bedding
but with no success until came TO the
mattresses. On two corners | found the
clusters Of tiny white eggs With some
newly-hatched bugs, and in two or three
places IN the spTing-bed, meets which
promised a prolific increase. All of tne
lime | was very careful not 20 scatter
them, preferring to hunt them in the
bedsteads, and hoping to run no risk OF
getting them intothe walls or under the
mop-boarJs.
One slat at time was taken out care
fully. Watching at each end, and then
examined in every portion before pat.
ting back. The whole bedstead was
cleansed, and then the cracks and joints
brushed with ammonia. | like TO use
this because il kills the bugs and II be.
lieve, but am not certain from my own
ohsorvation) destroys the eggs, but ITS
powerful smell brings out in dismay any
bugs that have escaped my eye. ! usa 10
iine knitting needle to poke out thc
cracks. ! kill all the bugs and crush all
the eggs that see, and dose well with
ammonia where | cannot see. found
only few full-.rown bugs and il tseemed
to me that did the hunting and De.
struclion business pretty thoroughly, ,b1l
! never reel sure that the work is oil
done, and continue to watch and search
for some time after the big hunt.
III i see nnOtnef Dug l snall Wy thc
new remedy recommended TO me by .
neighbor. She says there is nothing
like alum, as she has learned by expert
ence. Her directions were: Dissolve
alum in water, using little more alum
than the water will take up. Wash over
every possible place for bugs with this
strong solution, using a rag or a uneh q,
it is most convenient. This remedy il.
safe and cheap, and is said to be very
eflectual. For q log house, or in unfin-
ished rooms. how would it do TO use i
whitewash brush, and 90 all over the
walls, floors and ceilings? Alum Is cheap,
and it is easily dissolved in wafer"
The Osceola times., 1881-12-03

DETROIT Free Press: The youn men o
this country who have been houncing
the edges of their ulsters with the mud
from their heels will be panied TO learn
that il is not a street or walking garment
at all. English authority which, in
consideration of tie English origin OF
the ulster, should be fnal-says that it
is purely and simply travelling coat.
Its place sis not the pavement, but out
side the coach or carriage, or inside the
railway carriage when the air is nipping."
The modification of the gilded youth of
America over this revelation will be
equal to that of the Emperor of Hayti
when he first discovered that high silk
hats were intended to be worn on the
head, and not, as he first supposed, to
break the violence of his fall, should he
be so unfortunate, as he sometimes was,
as to slip and sit down in the neigh
borhood of a broken molasses hogs.
head.
The Osceola times., 1881-12-03
Women's Rights in Burmah
London Vanity Fair


King Theebaw, of Burmah, the biggest
bully and brute in the world, has at last
found his match in a woman who can as
sert the rights of her sex. The Queen
was recently confined of her third child,
which proved daughter. Now King
Theebaw desires to have an heir to the
throne, and he resolved, like Napoleon,
to provide himself with another wife.
Indeed he bettered Napoleon, for he
took two new wives, one of them the
granddaughter Of the Kan Pat Menghee.
and the other a daughter of a minor
official. The Queen soon heard of this,
and, as she was unable to go to the king,
she sent him peremptory order to put
away his new wives at once. King Thee.
baw replied that he should do nothing
ofthe kind-that he was tired of Her
Majesty iHasmuch as she only presented
him with daughters, and that he was
determined TO free himself of her con.
The Osceola times., 1881-12-03

IT is said that the first time Sitting
Bull attended white mans party he
made break for the door the moment
waltz was struck up. He afterwards
explained that he supposed an alarm OF
fire had been given, and that each brave
vas trying to carry out squaw. This
reminds us of the king of the Dude, who
after visit to England, invented what
he fattered himself was vivid i'm.
provement on the waltz of the period
Instead of the interested parties shutting
their feet around in the present melan-
choly fashion he had the couple mount.
ed on hardware trucks and dragged
around in eccentric circles by attend
ants. He said that as now practiced by
Europeans the amusement was neither
good dancing nor good hugging, and foi
his part he preferred to put in his full
time at the latter amusement.
The Osceola times., 1881-12-03
A ROoster's Life saved.
philadelphia Record.I

Lee Tong, Chinese laundrvman,
was before Judge Finletter two weeks
ago, charged by brother Celestial with
keeping gambling house and obtaining
money under false pretenses One OF
the witnesses was called and the chris
tian oath administered to the almond
eyed artist, who kissed the book with
apparently as ferverent relish as he
stew.
An lnterprer of the New York SUI
preme court who was present informed
the court that the Celestial did not un-
derstand the solemnity of the oath he
had taken, and the most solemn oath a
Chinaman could take was by cutting OF
the head OF a rooster.
Mr.. Maxwell Stevenson, who repre-
sented the accused, insisted on having
the most solemn oath administered that
could be taken by the witness, who Mr..
Stevenson conten5ed hada fsely accused
his client Accordingly the case was
continued until the following week, and
then it was adjourned until yesterday,
when 1t was to have been called for trial
and the novel sight OF dccapitating a
rooster in open court would have been
witnessed.
'If that fellow is lying" said the in
terpreter, che will not dare to take the
OATH"
The interpreter was right, for on
Thursday evening the parties in the
contest got together and agreed upon a
aompromise, which relieved the Celes-
ial from being put TO the test of taking
A most solemn 9TH, saved the Chichen's
read, and filed a number of court loun.
gers with disgust at their disappoint-
ment
The Osceola times., 1881-12-03
Rescued from D.nih.

J Couehlin, of Someryille, Mass, say,
Ia the fall of 1876 was taken / ! with ;
violent b ee6 ing of the lungs, 10 llowed by
q severe cough. soon began to lose my
sppetite and flesh was 50 weak at on,
me that could net lcure mV bel Ia IN,
summer of 1877 | was admitted to the cit,
hospital. While there the doctors said
had hole in my let lung ~ big as a hal
dollar. Iexpended over hundred dollar,
in doctors and medicines. | was 50 fargon,
at one time a report went round that | was
dead. gave up hope, but friend told me
of DE-. VIM. Halls Balsam FIR the Lur gs
lau ghed at NY friends, thinking that my
case was incurable, bIt | got bottle Ia
satisfy them, when TO my surprise aud
eradication, / commenced 10 fc,l bctfer. NV
hope, once dead, b,gan to revive, and tc-
day ! feel in batter spirits than hare the
past three years.
] write this, hoping that you will publish
II, so that every one sffl oted with diseased
luvg will be iLduced to take Dr. Wm.
Halls Dilsam for the Luggs and bs con
vine ID that consumption can bs cuIe1. ]
have taken two bottles and can positively
say that IL has dOnc aiorc g933 thin an Tie
medicines ! have taken since ray sickness.
My cough hes almost eltirely dis appeared,
and shall soon b3 able to 90 TO work.
Sod by all druggists.
The Osceola times., 1881-12-03
JOHN T. BURCH.

Agent for the Corbin Banking Co.. New York,
Attorney al Low and General Claim Agent.
LAND AND MINING LAWS A SPECIALITY.
Office Rooms, st, Cloud Building
p o. Box 5i9 Washington, d. @.
Ten years official experience In the Interior
Department and General Land Offices, and sew.
eral years as practitioner peculiarly qualities me
| give my personal attention. l. Arguing all
kinds of Contested Land and Mine Gases 2
Rendering opinions on land questions as guides
lands In any peculiar status 3 Congressional
Business. Prosecuting applications for mineral
and agricultural patents. .. All kinds OF Land
Scrip bought and sold. 6 Large iot of additional
CLAIMS for Pension, Prize Money, Bounty and
Arrear of Pay due Officers, Soldiers and sailors
their Heirs Onioers Accounts settled. SEND
FOR CIRCULAR
The Osceola times., 1881-12-03
"FemsIs Complaint.. !"

DR. II. V. PIERCE, Buffalo, n. y Dear
Sir-I was sick for six years, and could
scarcely walk about the house. My breath
was short and suffered from pain in my
breast and stomach all the tims; also from
pal pitation and an internal fever, or burn,
ing sensation, and experienced frequent
smothering or choking sensations. also
suffered from pain low down across my
bowels and in my back, aud was much re.
duced in flesh. have used your Golden
Medical Discovery" and "Favorite Pre-
scription,n - and feel that am well.
Very respectfully,
DELILAH B. MCMILLAN,
Arlington, Ga.
The Osceola times., 1881-12-03

troll and be real King. Seven or eight
days were passed in angry messages, but
at the end of that time the Queen left
her apartments and went to those of the
King. Arriving there she seized the
monarch. carried him of to her own
rooms and locked lin up icih the baby
She then went off and attended to aflairs
Of state, her first act beirg TO cast the
two new wives into prison and to have
them heavily manacled.
The Osceola times., 1881-12-03
Rotation of Crops.
lAmerican Agriculiurist.l


In well-planned system of farming,
the subject Of crop rotations should he
carefully considered, as one of the ts-
sential elements OF success in its highest
and best sense. II seems TO be the pre-
vailing opinion that the alteration OF
crops, in sy stematic order, is a modern
invention that was gradually developed
rs a direct result OF the applications OF
science TO the art of agriculture. The
early writers on agriculture, even from
the times of the Greeks and Romans
have, however, quite uniformly urge
The advantages Of a succession OF crop
from the teachings of experience. They
were satisfied that variety of CROP
grown in succession, all other condition.
being equal. would give greater aggre
gate yield than could otherwise be ob.
lained. The reasons for the success OF
the system could not. it is true, be given,
hat practical men were fully agreed in
urging its importance, and many sys
ems Of rotation, more or less perfect
were planned, some OF which became the
prevailing rule of farm practice in par
ocular localities That these practical
rules of alternating crops of differen'
habits and modes of growth are based
on correct, but not fully explained prin-
clpies. has been shown by direct expert
ment.
The Osceola times., 1881-12-03
iii,i Piles ries-A sure Cure Fouaa -
Ia-t-No Ono Mead Sunar.

A .nro cure for the Blind, Bleeding Itch.
ing and liberated Piles has been discovered
5y DR.. Williams IAN Indian remedy, called
DR.. Williams Ointment. A single box has
cured the worst chronic cases of % and 30
years standing. No one need suffer five
minutes after applying this wonderful sooth,,
Ing medicine. Lotions instruments and
Electuarics do moro harm than good.
Williams Ointment ah>orbs the tumoH,
allays the intense itching particularly at
night. sflcr getting warm in bcdl net as a
poulti,e. gives instant and pciulcss relief
and preparcl only for Piles, itching of the
private pa,,s, and nothing else.
Fot sale by all Druggists. or mailed on
receipt ofprice, 81 90. Henry & Davis Pro
prie.ors. Cleveland, q.
RICHARDSON 4 CO., s. Louie. Mo,
The Osceola times., 1881-12-03
Fever aud AEue,

Are you troubled with Ague, Chills end
Fever, Bilious Fever, Remittent or Inter
mittent Fever, Night Sweats, or any dis
ease that comes from Malaria or disordercd
Liver and Hot Suns2 Ifso, procure bot
tie of Green's Ague Conqueror, which is an
acetic extract of strong tonic roots, com.
bined with Sslphate OF Magnesia, etc, and
positively contains no Quinine, Arsenic or
other poisons. 1t purifies the blood, oleanses
the liver, spleen and other secretive organs
so efiectually that the chills will not return.
We hare neUer found any case Cf Feges and
Af;te 10 sciH g,3t cure. Price 80 cents and
81 90 per bottle. One large bottle has cured
as many as FIVE in one family. Sold by oil
druggists and dealers everywhere,
The Osceola times., 1881-12-03
WEATHER--0R NOT

We admire The philosophy OF the unfortunate
n0n, who, whol everything had been swept
away. sail, Mrll. ilcre'n be weather and taxes
len. al any rate Alasl weather is the yellow
log of al subjects; everyone thinks Il his
special fiiht Co. try To better the weather. and
hurla hts au0i mas against Old Probabilities"
The weather. The following communication Is
nom Prof. Ticc Of st. Louis. Mo-, the renowned
mcic0rologist and weather prophet OF the West
Il does not discuss the weather but something
surely Of moro importance to those who suffer
with that painful malady he speaks OF: The
day a.ler conelndlng my lectures az Burlington,
The Osceola times., 1881-12-03
BY AND by.

Softly DER llies sea we're drifting.
Lights and shadows DER us slftfnc.
Bat the storm clouds will be lifting,
BY and by.
Rainbow tints, the sky adjoining
Through youths bright and mdient m0fuip,
III we hear the tempest warning.
by aud by
But we see the glad sun shining.
Ana the bow Of promise twining.
Ger the clouds with silver lining.
By and by.
Ihough The night seem long and dreary
Ana the heart grow worn and weary,
Morn NIL break with promise chccry.
By and by.
All the weeping and he sorrow
All the trouble that We borrow.
Lost within glad tomorrow,
By and by.
No more cares our souls embroiliug
Weary hands will know no iolling
And the spirits robe no soiling,
By and by.
The Osceola times., 1881-12-03
Inportanf.

When you visit or leave New York city
save baggage and expressage and carriage
hire and step at the Grand Union note.
nearly opposite the Grand Central Depot
450 elegant rooms, single and in suits, fitted
up at an expense of one million dollars
Rooms reduced to 81 and upwards per dav,
on European plan. Elevators, Restaurant
supplied with the best. Horse cars, stages
and elevated railroad to all depots.
The Osceola times., 1881-12-03
The Greatest Discovery of the Age.
DIR. TOBIAS VENETIAN LINIMENT

DIR. TOBIAS VENETIAN LINIMENT
nas been warranted to cure Group, Collie, Spasms,
Diarrhea and Dysentry, taken internally, and
sore Throat Pains in the Limbs Chronic Rhcu-
matism, Old Sores, Pimples, Blotohes and Swell.
lngs, externally, and not bottle has been re-
turned, many families stating they would not be
without 1t even IL II was $40 bottle Sold by
druggists at rs and 80 cents Pimples and
Blotohes Immediately ersdicated, ami gray hair
turned to its natural color by It's use Depot ~
Murray street. New York.
The Osceola times., 1881-12-03
EAuoKA Mo Feb q 1880

KAHoKA. Mo, Feb. ., 1880.
purchased five bottles OF your Hop Bit
ters of Bishop & Co last fall, FOR my daugh
ter, and am well pleased with the Bitters
They did her.more good than all the medi
cine she has taken for six years.
VIM. r. MCCLURE.
The above is from very reliable farmer,
whose daughter was in poor health for
seven or eight years, and could obain no
relief until she used Hop Bitters. She is
now in as good health as any person in the
country. We have large sale, and they are
making remark abe cures.
w. II. BISHOP Il co.
The Osceola times., 1881-12-03

"You were not riding this afternoon
we're you. Cicely my dear" inquired
her intimate last evening. mo. Don't
YOU thiuk my dear little pony has the
pink-eye? Isn't that dreadful. And q
dark-red pony at that. How unbecom'
ing to his complexion."-7om Hearer.
The Osceola times., 1881-12-03

LADY ByAUTIFIER'.-Ladies, you cannot
make fair skin, rosy cheeks, and sparkling
eyes with all the cosmetics OF France, or
beautifers of the world, while in poor
health and nothing will give you such rich
blood, good health, strength and beauty as
Hop Bitters. A trial is certain proof.
The Osceola times., 1881-12-03

GEN. GRANT having occasion TO write
Judge Rowley, of Galena, tor some Of his
presents, including Cloisonne plaques,
said it this way "You will find in the
parlor two Clorsial plaques, If you know
what that means-I don't; send them
with the balance"
The Osceola times., 1881-12-03

PURE Cod Liver oil, made from selected
livers on the sea shore by Caswell, Hazard
& Co., New York. 1t is absolutely pure
and sweet Patients who have once taken
II prefer il TO all Others. Physicians have
decided 1t superior to any oils in the mar
kei,
The Osceola times., 1881-12-03

WOMEN that have been beilridden for
wears have been entirely cured OF female
weakness by the use of Lydia 4. Pink
hams Vegetable Compound. Send to Mr..
lydia T. Pinkham, 233 Western Avenue,
Lynn, Mass for pam rhlets.
The Osceola times., 1881-12-03

THE only natural hair renewer is CArbo'
line, deodorzsd extract of petroleum,
prepared without distillation or rtclihca-
lion with acids or alkalies, containing no
mineral or other poisons, delightfully."-
perfu med and as clear as spring water.
The Osceola times., 1881-12-03

THE Ottawa tKan) Republican thus
quotes: Mr.. Harvey B. +. Keller, re-
corder of deeds, says: l have long been
of She merits OF st. Jacobs Oil,
and use it in my family for rheumatism
successfully.
The Osceola times., 1881-12-03

DIR. TALMAeE does not believe in smoke
consumers, or producers. He says; lie,
those who smoke 90 TO the horse. shed.
Now, what has the horse done that be
should be smoked? Where is Bereh.
The Osceola times., 1881-12-03

THERE is medicine that will cure
Coughs, Asthma, Bronchitis and Consump.
ton. II has been used for years, with con
stsntly increasing popularity, II is called
Piso's Cure for Consumption. Sold by
druggists at % cents and 81 90 a bottle
The Osceola times., 1881-12-03

AN ex-consul of Great Britain, says the
Brooklyn Eagle, related that Mr.. Charles
Townsend, Sedalia, Mo-. was cured Of
rheumatism of the worst kindly st..
Jacobs Oil.-hdidnapoiis (Ind.) Sentinel.
The Osceola times., 1881-12-03

Lives of great men always remind us
that we are all subject to die" says an ex-
change, but never cough yourself away as
long as you can raise %. cents for bottle
of DR.. Bulls Cough Syrup.
The Osceola times., 1881-12-03

Mrs. J. W. MAcKAY has rented a villa
at Nice. for the season, at price which
has made an item for nearly all the for.
eign society papers.
The Osceola times., 1881-12-03

FoR weak lungs, splitting of b. ood, short
ness of breath, consumption, night sweats
and all lingering coughs, DR.. Pierce's
Golden Medical Discovery" is sovereign
remedy. Superior TO cod liver oil. BY
druppists
The Osceola times., 1881-12-03

THAT single effort by which We stop
short il the down hill path to perdition
is itself greater exertion of virtue than
a hundred acts of Justice.
The Osceola times., 1881-12-03
LYDIA E. PsMaHAM'S
VEGETABLE COMPOUND.
Jsa Positive Cure


foi II thssc Pninfnt Complaints md Weatnesses
socommon To our heat female population.
II will cure entirely the wort form OF Female Com
riaints all ovarian troubles Inflammation and ulcera
tlon Falling and Disrlacements, and the consequent
Spinal Weakness and IA particularly ADAPTED TO the
Change cf IAfe.
II VIII Dissolve and eAfl tumors from the uterus In
an early stage Of development The tendency 10 can
cerous huors ell very speedily by its use
II removes fsntaes- nntulcncy, destroysal craving
for stlnulnns and relieves weakness OF tho ttomnch
II cures niostlng Headaches, Nervous PrOstration,
oeuora Debility, sleclessnes., Oppression and indi
gestion
That feeling Of bearing down, causing pain, weight
and baekaee Ia always permanently cured Is It's
Hvil at all tin and under ell circumstances act In
harmony with the lowa that the female system
Tor tho Of Kidney Complaints Of either ser this
Compound Is unsurpasstd.
LYDIA T.. PINkuAMs VEGETABLE CON.
PoI NDis prepared at 80 and sJ5 Western Avenue,
lynn. Mass. Price e. Six bottlesfor o. Sent by mail
In The form of pills, also the form Of lozcnges,
roccr Of price, 81 par boz for either. Mrs Pnkham
freely all letters Of Inquiry Send for panph
let Address Ea above. Mention fiis iapcr
10 family should be without LYDIA r. fiNKHAMs
.N-rH Pills They euro constipation. bniousnsss
tJ iorpdity Of the liver. IS cents per bon.
Esf' scld by all Druggists. -6e
The Osceola times., 1881-12-03

EVERY effort of nature is TO break the
ixedness of things. Evolution is against
permanency. True life is constant move
ment, constant interchange.
The Osceola times., 1881-12-03
Cancers and other Tumors

ore treated with unusual success by Worlds
Dispensary Medical Association Buffalo,
n. Y. Send stamp for pamphlet.
The Osceola times., 1881-12-03
That White Tongue

demands immediate attention. y thing
so quickly regulates the system and keeps
tpure as Warmers safe Kidney and Liver
Cure.
The Osceola times., 1881-12-03
"Rough on Rats

The thing desired found at last Ask drug.
gists for Rough on Rats. II clears out rats,
mice, reaches, flies bed bugs, 15c boxes.
The Osceola times., 1881-12-03

THE most comfortable boot in town is
that with Lyons Patent Metallic Heel Stiff
fpner
The Osceola times., 1881-12-03

Iowa, on the 2ist of December last ! was seized
with sudden attack 0f neuralgia I'm the chest
giving me XcruCihtiug pain and almost prevent
ing breathing Ny pulse usunlly 20, fell 10 e5
intense nausea oi tie stomach succeeded, and a
cold, clammy sweat covered my entire body.
The attending physician could 10 nothing 10 re-
lieve me. Amer suffering for three hours, !
thought-as had hccu using ST. JACOBS on with
good effect for rheumatic paims-l would try IT,
saturated a piece of flannel. large enough TO
cover my chest with the oil. and appliodt. The
relief was almost instantaneous. In one hour
was entirely free from pain, and would have
in neighborlng town had my friends not dis
suaded me. Asit was took the night train tormy
home, in 81. Louis and have not been troubled
since.
The Osceola times., 1881-12-03

TuE value of the fur business done in
the State of Maine annually, exceeds
100000.