, 1881-05-20
On Making Calls.

ON one side, that of fashionable calls,
this subject has been worn well nigh
thrcad-bare. As the double of DR.
Ingham WAS taught 10 remark. 80 much
has been said. and SO well said, that L
will not detain the audience further.
There is. however, another side, on which
but little has been said. Unfashlonahle
calls abound, but to make them success
fully, to make them pleasure, not
burden, to the recipient, is an art which
is almost lost, if. indeed. 1t ever flour
ished.
School girls, young ladies', even ma
ture women, often say: ION, L hate
making calls. l like to so to see my
friends" The remark is evidently dear
to the hearts of the speakers. They are
proud of it. In their view it indicates an
unworldIy, untrammeled nature, too
sincere for shams If this view were
true. and this were ali, we might leave
these children of nature to their happl-
ness. Unfortunately, 1t is not all. Car
ried beyon n certain point, tie going
to see others" becomes nuisance.
In practic-, the phrase stands fOr call
SO questionable as to be made at any
time and of any length. Thepleasure of
the caller Is the only law observed. At
dinner time, at tea time; when We are
alone, when We have guests; when we are
! lust going out, when we have IN hand
! important matters at home; regardless Of
| our convenience, comes our informal
! miend-when does he go?
! Sucn calls are of two kinds, with and
without purpose. In a sense, OF course,
no call is pnrposeless; yet the term Is
not far wrong when applied to calls
whose only purpose Is to spend time
! somewhere, or simply to be in the COM
pany of certain friend. A call, whose
| object is purely to kill time, will come to
an end when the given time Is killed. 1t
is, therefore, more endurable than one
which is made simply because the caller
feels like seeing such or such q per-
son. In this case the burden of enter
tainment lies wholly with the receiver.
| FlatterinG though it may seem ut first
sight to receive call for such reason,
vet when time has passed in the effort to
be agreeable enough to Justify the mo-
tive, when topic after topic has been ex-
hausted, and ones resources are nearly
drained, elation gives way to depression
if not to real ill-temper. A call of this
kind is, of all most wearisome, because
it may be all but endless. There are
times when no remedy avails but to say,
graciously if you can, yet Enthusiastically,
"Now, please, go away"
The informal call made with purpose
is very different. 1t Is capable of giving
sincere pleasure. Should the caller pos
sess the faculty of saying clearly what
she has come to say, and saying it but
once, she may be sure of a welcome. For
such caller one willingly endures a lit
tie, even considerable Inconvenience.
But even among grown persons that
faculty Is rare; IN the young 1t Is seldom
if ever found. When young girl
comes to an older friend for q special
purpose, as for comfort or advice, 1t be-
comes often momentarily harder for her
to introduce the subject of which she
longs to speak. She hesitates, sits silent,
talks of the weather, of books, of home,
of school, of-anything but what she
wants to say. 1t may be an hour or two
before the real object of the call is made
known; after this comes the business of
the day.
Now, if the older friend be one whose
friendship is of value, she is not likely to
have two hours to throw away upon pre-
hminaries. She finds herself, therefore,
i'll u dilemma. On the one hand her
time is precious, the wasting of it is a
sacrifice. On the other, she knows that
a girls confidence is easily checked; that
slight rebuff may seal both lips and
heart, and that then this chance for in
tiuence may have fled forever. The lat
ter seems the graver evil, and so the
sacrifice of time is made.
Where there is an evil, there must be a
remedy. What is the remedy for this?
Briefly stated, it is two-fold On the
part of the woman, tact must be used to
draw out quickly the real purpose of the
visit. Tact, l say, for while abrupt
questions are worse than useless. sympa-
thizing suggestions may greatly help the
matter. Such tact will grow, with
watchful thought and practice. 1t is
worth eultivating.
On thepart of the girl, when she once
has seen that q friends time must not be
undervalued, an application of the golden
rule is needed. Il would take the form,
perhaps, of such a warning as Edward
Everett Hale received from his wise
father: Now that you begin to make
calls, let me give you one piece of ad-
vice: Make them short. The people who
see you may be very glad to see you; but
1t Is certain they were occupied with
something when you came, and it is GER
tain, therefore, that You have interrupted
them"
Wise words! The girl, the woman,
the man-even a man may need such q
warning-whO adopts this as settled
principle of action, must be direct in
order to be brief, and can never wear out
Il welcome.
lady in this vicinity, well versed in
| fatA ha 0f