Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1881-11-26
MRS. sPOOPENDYKEs IDEA OF A
DEAD LOOK.
(From the BROOKLYN Hagle.] j

My uodI, salu MIS- Sp00penOyke,
holding a piece of lace to her over
skirt and wondering whether she had
better plait it on or tull it in; my
dear wns 10 this Congressman Lock
who has just died ~
"What congressman ?" asked Mr..
Spoopendyke.
"Why. I read in the paper thi.
morning that they couldn't do any
business because Of the dead Mr..
Lock. Did you know him ?"
That amt q congressman" said
Mr.. Spoopendyke. "You read that
there was a deadlock in the senate.
Wasn't that it," is-
"Yes, aud 1 read IL all through, and
when found that Mr.. CoDkling felt
80 bad about it, I thought Mr.. Lock
must be congressman"
''No he isn't either. The deadlock
means that the democrats and repub-
licans can't agree"
Good graclousl Have they had
another falling out I should not
think the republicans would fight the
poor democrats anymore. What have
they been doing now
"They haven't been doing any thing
Senator Malone, of Virginia, went
over to the republicans aud"
II see," interrupted Mrs. Spoopen.
dyke, "and Mr.. Conkling won't have
him confirmed. Though l can't un.
derstand why he should interfere
with Mr.. Mshone's religion. II the
poor msn wants to Join the church
l."
"Who wants to Join the church Z
Who's church? THINK Mr.. Conk
ling's bishop? Got an idea he's On
altar Z S'poss he's . dod gasted chap.
sl With ivy all over him, spike fence
and chino Of bellsl It's Stanley
Matthews he dsn't want confirmed u
81 read about him too" rsjoiued
Mrs. Spoopendyke. "He's Mr.. Gar.
fields collector, isn't he ?"
mo, he amt. That's Jsdge Rob.
ertson. Mr.. Garfield wants Judge
Robertson for collector, aud M.
Conkling 10 opposed to him."
81 do not ses why he should be.
Though Of course l should suppose
Mr.. Garfield would rather have ma q
like Mr.. Mahsne, who ls going into
the church,"
"Where Is ysur sense2 2' snortel
Spoopsndyke. What do you want to
mix up things for2 Trying to make
. grabbing of prominent American
Stanley Matthews 10 . candidate for
Judge. Mr.. Mshone is . senator, and
Robertson 10 appointed q collector,
but, like Matthews. hasn't been cOu.
hrmed. Can you see through that Pr
"Of course. understand that, but
l don't 500 any excuse for fighting the
poor democrats. unless they think
that Mr.. ROberIsom would collec.
money from Mr.. Malone; and Mr..
atthows would send him 10 iaiI. Tn
that case it"
'ln that case 1t would take you to
strhighten them out2" "a uealed
Spuopendyks. "What are you trying
10 get up now, all idiot asylum7 Are
You planning for a murder and try.
ing to get up al insanity plea +? What
40 you PINK Robertson 10 going to
collect, hens Got . notion that
Matthews is a peni;entiary, sitting
atound TO be leased out? ImaglMe
Malone to be the national debt
Wei. they amt they are men, 1 tell
ye. Men with legs" And Mr.. Spoop-
endyke kicked out both his foot
handles by way ofillustration. "Conk.
ling is opposed to Matthe ws and Rob.
ersson. He 'ays they shan't be con.
firmed, but he is friend of Nah one."
"That's what. I didn't Geo." said
Mrs. Spoopendyke. "I'm glad Mr..
Malone will be confirmed, though |
don't care for Mr.. Matthews aud Mr..
Robertson. 1t will teach them to re.
pent of their sins and not fly in the
face of Providence. I'm glad Mr..
palian."
'Oh he's prayer-book," howled
Spoopsndyke. "Ysu've found him
out! You've got himl All he wants
is a rcd cushion and a rack nailed up
in front OF him to be a dod gasted
mourner's bench Did not tell We
no was a senator7 De you know
what q senator isl It's something
shaped like q pie, a measly piel On.
derstand 1t now 2"
"And ia Malone . senator. too I?
asked Mrs- Spoopendyke, . new light
dawning upon her.
mo. he amt . senatorI" griuned
Mr.. Spoopendyks; he's liz htnin, rod
to keep bowling idiots from falling
overheard. Begin to see into IL p
Aud they want him confirmed, 80 il
he tnds any dod gasted old female
named Spoopeudyke slopred into Q
canal he'll slam . church Oh top of
her! Got the idea ?''
Upon my word, my dear" remon.
stratsd Mrs. Spoopendyke, "you talk
Mr.. Mahone msy fight
democrats but he would never 90
around throwing churches at wolaen."