The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1881-05-25
Late for the Train.

mouth sawed, and his flanks lather-
ed with the whip; but all in vain
for when we reached the station Mr.
Stifile and his wife gazed with un-
speakable disappointment at the
receding train, which was just dis
appearing under the bridge. Their
first impulse was to run after it
bat as the train was out of sight,
and whistling for the next town be-
fore they could act upon the inn
pulse, they remained in the chaise,
and disccnsolately turned the horses
head homeward.
1t all comes of having to wait for
a woman to get ready" Mr.. Stifile
broke in with, very grimly.
Il was ready before you were,
replied his wife.
Great heavens p cried SIr. Stiffle
in irrepressible impatience, jerking
his horses jaws out of place '.just
listen to that And | sat out in front
ten minutes, yelling at you to come
along, until the whole neighborhood
heard me :"
"Yes," acquiesced Mrs. Stifile,
with the provoking placidity which
no one can assume but a woman,
'and every time | started down
stairs you sent me back for some
thing you had forgotten ~
Mr.. Stiiie groaned.
'This is too much to bear,n be
said, when everybody knows that
| was going around the world, |
should just rush into the house, put
on clean shirt, seize my knapsack
and fly ; while you would want at
least six months for preliminary
preparations, and then dwadle about
the whole day of starting until eve-
ry train had left town."
Wen, the upshot Of the matter
was that the STILES put off their
visit until the next week, and it was
agreed that each should get him or
herself ready, and 90 down to the
train and go, and the one who failed
to- get ready should be left.
The day of the match came around
in due time the train was to go at
1.30, and Mr.. Stifiie, after attending
to his business, went home at 1915.
"Now, then," he shouted, only
three-quarters of an hour to train
time. Look sharp-a fair field and
no fayors. you know"
Mr.. Stifiie ran into his room and
rushed through that, and diyed into
one closet after another with ineon-
ceivablc rapidity, chuckling all the
time under his breath to think how
cross Mrs. Stiilie would be when he
started of alone. He stopped on
his way up stairs to pull off his
heavy boots to save time; for the
same reason he pulled off his coat
as he ran through the dinning room,
and hung it on the corner of the sill
yer closet. Then he jerked off his
vest Us he ran through the hall and
tossed it ON a hook on the hat-rack,
and by the time he reached his own
room he was ready to plunge into
his clean clothes. He pulled out a
bureau drawer, and began to rattle
things like a scotch terrier after a
rat.
Eleanor p he shrieked, 'Where
are my clean shirts 2"
'.In your drawer" calmly replied
Mrs. Stiffle, who was standing plae-
idly before glass, calmly and delib-
erately coaxing a refractory crimp
into place.
swell, but they amt" shouted
Mr.. Stiffle, little annoyed. i've
everything out of the draw
er, and there isn't shirt to be SEEN"
Mrs. Stiffle stepped back few
PAGES, held her head to oneside, and |
after satisfying herself that the
crimp would do, and stay where she
put it, replied
'Those things scattered about on
the floor are ali mine. Probably |
you havn't been looking in your
own drawer"
Il don't see," testify observed Mr..
why you couldn't have put
my things out for me, when you had |
else to do all the morning p
Because" said Mrs. Stifiie, set
Ting herself into an additional arti
Gle Of raiment with awful delibera-
ton, nobody puts mine out for me.
A fair field and no favors, my dear"
Mr.. Stifile plunged into his shirt |
like a bull at a red flag.
"Whcre are my shirt studs ?" he
cried.
Mrs. Safile went out into another
room and presently came back with |
her gloves and hat, and saw Mr..
StiiEle empting all the hoxes he
could find in and about the bureau.
Then she said
"In the shirt YOU took off.
Mrs. Stiffle put ON her gloves,
while Mr.. Stitiie hunted up and |
down the room for his cuff-buttons.
Eleanor" he snarled at last, II
believe you know where those but
tons are
Il haven't seen them," said the
lady, settling her hat. Didn't you
lay them on the window sill in the
sitting room lost night ?"
Mr.. Stiffle remembered and he
went down stairs on a run. He
stepped on one of his boots and was
Immediately landed in the hall at
the foot Of the stairs with neatness
and dispatch, attended in the trans
with more bumps than he
could count, and landed with q bang
ike an explosion.
"Are you nearly ready, Algernon?"
asked the wife of bis bosom, sweet
ly, leaning over the banisters.
The unhappy man groaned.
Cant you throw me down the
other boot ?" he asked. She pity
ingly kicked it to him. my valise?"
he inquired, as he tugged away at
his boot.
up in your dressing room," she
replied.
"Packed?"
81 do not know-unless you pack
ed it yourself-probably not" she
replied, with her hand on the door
knob. Il had hardly time to pack