San Marcos free press. [volume] (San Marcos, Tex.) 1877-1892, 1881-09-29
wnASD wIspon.

WIT AND WISp0M.
THE scientists have taught that in.
sects have their affections, and now
some one knows . mosquito that was
mashed on young lady.
THxRH Is NO place like home. I'm.
press this truth upon your children by
making homo ~ disagreeable and un.
like any other place - possible.
NEVER permit your son to have any
amusement 1t home. This will induce
him to seek II in places where you will
not be annoyed by his noise.
! TIE name Of Maria 10 20 popular in
Ottumwa that whom Q cat climbs back
fence in well.populated neighborhood
and plaintively vocalixes ~Mariar!"
twenty windows are hastily thrown up
and twenty female heads are thrust out,
wildly answering: SIS that you. Char.
ley Pr Ottssmtca Press.
A RHODE ISLAND man called neigh
Dor . @lantern-jswed cockroach." A
suit for slander resulted, add the Jury
returned as follows: Not guilty on
lantern-jswed, but way of on cockr0ach,
and We and damages In the sum OF
three CENTS
IT is reported that the largest hog in
the United States 10 Q Poland China,
four years old this spring, lately on OK.
hibition at Junction City, Kansas. His
length 10 Z feet; girth Of neck, 81 feet;
girth Of chest, u feet; girth OF centre,
8 feet; width across the hips, 80 inches
and weight, 1854 pounds.
-Four years ago . young man without
Q cent on his back, and only one suit Of
clothes to his name, entered Denver
and begged his supper. Last week he
eloped with his employers wife and ten
thousand Of his cash. Close application
to business, coupled with pluck and in
dustry, wins every time.-NorristotUm
Herald. '''i7f' s'4Is
The sum Of 41,5O0 was offered 10,
and refused by, the owner OF ram ex-
hibited at the recent sheep show Of the
Australian Sheep Breeder Association,
held at Melbourne, where many other
valuable stud merinos were exhibited,
the aggregate worth OF which amounted
to several thousand pounds.
An Irishman, driven to desperation
by the stringency Of the money market
and the high prices, procured pistol
and took to the road. Meeting trav.
eler, he stopped him with: "Your
money or your ifel" Seeing Pat was
green at the business, the traveller said
"I'll tell you what III do; I'll give you
all my money for thatpistolp" Agreed"
Pat received the money and handed
over the pistol. "Now," said the trav-
eler, "hand back the money or ! will
blow your brains out!" @Blase away,
my hearty" said Patrick, "never
dhrop Of powder is there in the ould
thing"
LAST week o card-writer in Buffalo
hotel refused to write cards for color
ed citizen. Then the colored citizen
arose in his wrath and fell upon that
card-writer, and spilled his ink, and
spoiled his cards, and split his pens,
and upset his desk, and evily entreated
him, and smote him sore, and pounded
him even into pulp, and Allied him
with bitterness and sorrow, and made
all his bones to ache and cry ont with
the anguish of his lamentation, and ex-
pounded the law unto him, and caused
him to understand more. fully the true
inwardness and intent Of the Fifteenth
Amendment and the Civil Rights bill
than he had ever learned from other
teachers in twenty years. Thus the
humble missionary labors of obscure
men are causing the Civil Rights bill to
be known and understood throughout
the land, so that even the card-writing
man, though fool, need not err there
in.-Burli'sgt ton Hasokeve.