The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-09-29
CATCHING A BURGLAR,

"Say, my DEAR" calculated Mr.. Spoopendyke,
sitting bolt upright in bed with a sudden jerk,
.'say, my dear, wake up! hear burglars in the
| house,
"Whoi what burglars demanded Mrs, spoop-
endyke, as she popped up beside her husband.
'Who in the housed p
''Hushl Quiet, will YET don't know which
burglar, but hear some one moving around
"Oh, my! What shall we do n inquired Mrs.
| Spoopendyke. Lets cover up our heads
"why don't you get up and light the gas ~
propounded Mr.. Spoopendyke, in a hoarse whis-
per. 'S'pOse you can see who it is in the dark
Strike Light, can't yef If you had your way,
we'd both be murdered in bed. Going to light
up before we're killed'r
I'm afraid" whispered Mrs. Spoopsndyke,
striking one foot out of bed and hauling it in, as
if she had caught fish with it.
"Going to sit there like shot tower and have
our throats cut y interrupted Mr.. Spoopendyke.
"How'm l going to find a burglar without .
light Light match and light that measly gas,
now, qDickp
Mrs. Spoopendyke erawled out of bed and
hunted around for a skirt.
"What's the matter with youf Can't you find
matchr Missed Mr.. Spoopendyke.
II am, rs fast as / can" replied his wife, her
teeth chattering. ''Tm looking for pin"
''Oh, you're moving like railroad, amt ysf
1 never saw anything fy like You do. All you
want is to be done up i'll white and blue papers
to be a seidlitz powder. What dye want Of \
pin Going to stick pin in the burglsrf Why
don't you light that gas"
Mrs. Spoopendyke broke half dozen matches,
and finally got light.
That's something like it," continued Mr..
Spoopendyke. "Now, hand me my pantaloons"
"You won't go down where they are, will Won n
anxionsly inquired Mrs. SpOopendyke, handing
over the garment.
Mr.. SpOopendyke vouchsafed no reply, but
donned the hsbiliments.
snow, you open the door, I" said he, "and 60 to
the head of the stairs and ask who's there while
l find my stick. Hurry up, or they will get
away"
Suppose they are there. whatTl do then ~
TELL '0m I'm coming. Go ask 'ein, will ycf
What's the matter with youT
Mrs. Spoopendyke opened the door about an
inch, squealed who's there p slammed the door
again, and popped into bed.
"What ails YET" demanded her husband |
shotf Get up, can't We, and look QUIT Where's
my stickf What have ye done with it'll Sent
it to school, haven't YET Go out and ask who's
there, will ye, before they come up and slsugh- |
ter u.s."
Once more Mrs. Spoopendyke approached the |
door and TREMENDOUSLY demanded what was going |
was no response, to her incalcnlable |
relief and she then went to the head of the stairs
See anybody" whispered Mr.. Spoopendyke, |
looking over her shoulder.
"Who's there ~ squealed Mrs Spoopendyke
GO right away, because my husband is here"
"Oh, you've done it," exclaimed Mr.. Spoop-
endy Ike, as he handed her back into the room.
Now, how dye 'spose Pm goin' to catch 'smf
What dye want to scare 'em away fort What
dye want to say anything about me fort Think
this is a nominating conventiOnf What made
you leave the door openf Come down with me,
and I'll show you how to lock it."
Then they went down, and q careful scrutiny
that everything was fast.
81 don't believe there was anybody there"
said Mrs. spoopendyke, as they returned to their
chamber.
at wasn't your fault,r retorted Mr. Spoopen-
iyke. "If you'd got up when told you, and
xept your mouth shut, we'd have got 'em.n
"But you said for me"
"Didn't say anything of the sort,p howled Mr..
,poopeDdy "never mentioned your name.
We might have been killed, the way you went
o work.
al think we'd caught them if they'd been
here" said Mrs. SpOOpendyke, taking down her
lair and proceeding to put it mp again.
"Oh, you'd caught them!" sneersd Mr. Spoop-
ndyke. "All You want is some chloride of lime
md your accounts short to be a penitentiary.
mother time burglar gets in the house you
tay a-bed, and don't you wake me up again.
ron't have any dod-gasted woman routing me
Mt ut this time of night, ys hear
"fes, dear" and Mrs. Spoapendyke wound her
and in the collar Of her liege lords night shirt,
nd went to sleep, secure in his protection.-l
lrooklyR Eagle