The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1881-03-02
HUMOROUs.

HUMOkUUSs
Goes against the grain--The reaping
machines YGsccob Strauss.
Out of every 100 inhabitants in the
United States, sixteen live in cities.
The man who has gathered big ice
crop wants to keep it shady. --FScdyssze.
He sighed for the wings of dove,
but had no idea that the legs were much
better eating.
We would rather hire a mule than
own one on the principle, "Oftwo evils
choose the leased. p Boston Post.
The Rochester papers have a good deal
to say about elevated tracks" Cats
prowling over the roofs, we suppose
Syracuse Herald.
"When l die" said a married man,
81 want to 60 where there is no snow
to shovel" His wife said that she pre-
sumed he would.
Ohio papers are discussing why quail
freeze to death. 1t is simply because
they can't afford to pay 81 ton for
coal. Philadelphia CsTonicIe.
Those who believe that the world
owes them living don't stop to con-
slider how many bad debts the old globe
has to shoulder Saturday Night.
A middle-sized boy. writing q COM
position on Extremes" remarked that
1--WE should endeavor to avoid extremes,
especially those OF wasps and bees"
"What happy hours, sweet, spend"
He sighs, "alone with thee"
|" It's all, she says, ''you ever spend--"
"Good eveniDg~ says he.
Detroit Free Press.
A party of $50 Chicago lawyers, gam
blers, board of trade men and shoulder
hitters, went out to Crystal lake to wit
ness fight between couple ofroosters.
No disgrace. however, is attached to the
roosters. MSJa1Gukee SIN.
A question of identity: Ibid the
prisoner at the bar strike youP" |" Eye
think 3d." replied the man with the
decorated optic. Eye see," smiled
the justice; eye IDENTIFY established;
three dollars and trimmings. ."-Reobuk
Gate City.
A youngster, while warming his
hands at the fire, was demonstrated
with by his father, who said: "Go
away from the fire-the weather is not
cold" 81 amt heating the weather.
I'm warming my hands," the little fell
low demurely replied.
"Tn the hour of danger woman thinks
least of herself" said Madame Stael.
True! When the thunder roars aud the
vivid lightning flashes, and the big
drops come down, the woman who is
caught out in the storm devotes her
agony to the thought that her hat and
dIe.Swin be ruined.
An editor may write himself "we" in
his editorials, and feel therefore doubly
proud and doubly sIrong; but when he
gets home to dinner an hour or so late
and forgets to brilg something home tC
make that dinner, he doesn't feel any
larger than one-fourth of one person.
Kentucky State Journal.
A prudent and far-seeing mother
married her two daughters some years
ago 10 plumber and an iceman, and
now, no matter whether there is q mild
winter or severe one, she has box at
the charity bali, and spends the next
summer at Newport or goes to Europe,
with some one or the other of her sons
in-law.-Neio York Chic
A tramp was being escorted down
Galveston avenue by one of the most
stylish policemen on the force. 81 hate
to walk along arm-in arm with a
policeman" said the tramp. "You
ought TO be used to it by this time, " re-
piled the policeman. II can't get used
to hearing people on the streets say,
Just look at that vagabondP when
know they must mean one of -
Galveston Nes0s.
George Peabody" says New York
paper, twas never married, and Tor a
singular reasoh Then il goes on at
some length to give the reason, because
the girl married an( her man. And we
have read that artic4. dozen times and
have pondered over it deeply, and
hanged If we can see yet why that
should be called "a singular reason"
We think it was very sensible matter
of fact reason Bg1dett
They both went sailing down the walk,
Arrayed in iaultless gearing,
Both engaged in pleasant talk,
Each smiled "a each endearing.
He said: My love, this blithesome day,
This braeing, glorious weather,
This charming walk-Whoopl stop er-say
They both went down together
They picked them mp, small boys h-yi-ed,
When she resumed with fippery;
" Dear George, think tits not denied,
These charming walks are slippery"