Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1881-01-08

comfortable looking baskets were dragged
from their recesses, and the ladies began
their task OF spreading the feast, and the
gentlemen got as much il the way as pos
sible. Why is it that man seems SO
much bigger at a picnic than at home Ii
he stands up he knocks his hat over his
eyes against the branch of stupid tree ;
if told 70 get out of the way and make
himself useful, he steps backwards into a
plate of pie and if he sits down, where
is he to put his legs, which seem to
spread out before him many a rod
into space Take my advice, ladies,
and send them, one and all, for water.
Tell them you want oceans, or serd them
away, out of hearing, to open some canned
frat with their pen-knives. They will
probably exercise the manly prerogative OF
growing a little, and put on advertiser
airs of martyrdom, but it is all done as a
part of the show for which the only pay
ment expected is glance from your bright
ewes to reward their knightIy endeavors.
Strange to say, nothing had been forgotten,
for usually the feast OF. picnic is cele-
brated with manned rites, and the salt or
the spoons or something else is left behind
and must be replaced by impromptu con
diments or implements. On this occasion,
however everything had been taken care
of with business aptitude by Mrs. Harlay,
and there was not a single hitch in the
programme OF course, when people go
a. picnicking they are expected to leave
their critical faculties at home. Casual
insects in the pickles are not considered
intruders, and black beetle on the table
cloth is not treated as rudely as he might
be under more formal social conditions.
"What is that you have got before you,
Mr. Holmes d" asked Gertie Blake, after
the feast had proceeded for some time with
out untoward interruption.
"It seems to be an aggregation OF mole
cules of great apparent tenacity, where a
glutinous pool of raspberry is lost in a
broad morass of pastry"
ooh, molecules yourself. l wish you
would talk sense sometimes. 1t is nothing
but raspberry pie.
Gertie Blake considered herself per-
son of no mean attainments, and
wished to be looked upon as a
little strong. minded, SO far as that is
consistent with what is " ladylike." Her
education had been begun under what is
called our admirable public school sys.
ten, and had been finished by copious
reading of the newspapers and magazines,
as a fitting crown to the edifce. Jack
Holmes saw through the afectation and
delighted in pulling her by going little
beyond her depth, and at the same time
gratifying his own love of recondite speech
making. He was disrespectfully learned.
As a consequence, there were frequent
wordy battles between them, in which, it
must be said, that master Jack did not al
ways have the better.
" I believe it is pie, said Jack, thought
fully. ct is curious fact that Ameri-
cans, who are the greatest pie eaters in the
world, have never yet mastered the art Of
making eatable pastry and yet not so
strange, perhaps, after all, for believe the
art is only attained after a long process OF
evolution. That country, in Europe, in
which civilization is Oldest and has been
most continuous is the only one in which
you can find crisp pastry-I mean Italy.
American pastry supplies the missing link
between the miners hapjack aud the faky
creation of an italian artist but the tail
is still very long. Civilization is very
young and crude in this country"
81 think Americans are the most civil
lied people in the world, and the best edu
Gated, said Gertie with patriotic and pro
fessional fervor.
" Yes, said Jack, eve have civiliza
ton of a certain material civiliza
ton, but not humanity. TIE humane
arts are neglected among us, although the
butcher and the baker aud the candlestick
maker call with praiseworthy regularity
for orders. We have not leisure enough tc
cultivate the fine arts, whether of cookery
or otherwise, for we are in too great hurry
to get rich. These things will come, how.
ever, in due process Of Development,
81 believe you are one of those horrid
Darwinian atheists" said simple Mrs,
Dawlish.
Not necessarily" he replied; ga be.
lief in evolution does not imply atheism,
1t only places the first cause further back,
and limits It's operation.
"Oh, dear; I wish I knew what you
are talking about, said Mrs DawIish,
piteously. q always thought Adam and
Eve were our first causes.
ooh, he only refers to the kind of mod
fled God which it is fashionable to believe
in, said Gertie Blake with a sheer.
''Why, Gertie Blake Amt you ashamed
to talk SO % screamed Mrs. Dawlish.
"Of what should be ashamed? Is a
woman always to be condemned to polite
paraphrases? If 1 mean the same thing
why should not be allowed to put II into
Saxon English ~
&" The world is full of compensations.
interposed Frank Dawlish. g Paraphrase'
are a kind of polite handicap which We
have placed On women to compensate fol
the extra length Of their tongues. Ii they
were allowed to pelt US with pure Saxon
we would soon have to retire from the
world in search of cooler place.
:" I think. perhaps, you had better stay
where you are. Mr.. Dawlish You might
not better yourself, said Mrs. Harlay.
twas beginning to grow late they had
fingered long time over the feast, and the
rites of tobacco and feminine chatter had