Western sentinel. [volume] (Winston [i.e. Winston-Salem], N.C.) 1856-1886, 1881-09-29
Spoopendyke's Picture Hanging.

FuJNO iVluTC I1dUSHl9.
eWell, my DEAR said Mr.. Spoo-
.pendyke, with nail in his mouth,
and balancing himself waveringly
on dtning-room chair, 'all you've
got to do now is to get your pict-
ure ready, and Ell show you how
to hang the thing
TITS awful sweet. of you, pet
said Mrs. Spoopendyke, alternately
rubbing the frame CT a very hectic
chrome, and: smoking the thumb
she had; been iIarnmering for the
last twenty minutes ITS awful
sweet and thoughtful Of you, dear,
to offer You assistance at such a
time, for do believe l never would
have got nail driven in that stu
pid wall
'Of course you wouldn't my
dear I laughed Mr.. Spoopendyke.
who ever saw a woman that could
drive nail 2 You couldn't drive
galvanized carpet-.ack. in 'lcven
pound bladder of putty. And
speaking of driving nails, I'd ike
to know if you're ever going to
hand up that hammer, or meat
FOUNDER, or whatever you've been
using. Think l can drive nails
with my elbuwl'
Its the stove handle, love- said
Mrs. Spoopendyke, meekly. hand
ing him mysterious-lookirg, i'm
plement, with a wooden handle az
one end and the underjaw of a
shoemaker's plyers at the other.
'Oh, it's stove-hook, is it e.
said Mr.. Spoopcndyke, regarding
the weapon with, a sinister express
ion. 'Now, if yon'd handed me mp
a dog-iron, or pair OF steel yards,
I'D have been right at home; bnt a
stove-hook !; Really, my dear, I'd
rather undertake to drive a. nail
with scythe>handle.'
'But the wallis so soft and love-
ly, dear, it really drives them beau
titully-if they would only stick, ,
said Mrs. Spoopendyke reassuring-
ly.
Only stick 2 said Mr., Spoopen-
dyke, ccntemptIously, 'now IN
bet that you never wet the mucil-
age on a single nail before you
started. That's why they didn t
stick for you-ouch ! sutterin
Moses !! Are you going to stand
serenely by and see me beat my
knuckles into shapeless pulp with
this dodgastcd, mcasly marlin
spike 2
| sPoor DEAR said Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke, corsolingly, You do act SO
impatient-and at the first trial
too. Maybe it strnck something
hard in the plaster. Try another
/ [place-that's the way | managed
that
ooh, yes,' said Mr.. Spoopendy Ike,
sthat's the way yon managed it and
you have punched enough holes ii
here to play crlbbage in. VIII
you gimme another nail Dom
Fyon see I've knocked this one fla
and cant unpry it up again 3
Cant unpry it up again y eiacu
lated Mrs. Spoopendykc in very
gentle voice, handing him another
nail. Cant unpry it mp again
Well, if that amt grammar J.
| 'Oh, amt it 2 said Mr.. Spoo-
tpendyke, with a most horrific smile
sOf course it amt, you old femal
seminary with a cracked bell j
your cupola +! Am going t
school to you, or am l drivin
nails p
well, DEAR" sighed Mrs. Spoo
pendyke, you're surely not driyin
nails
mo, you can just bet I'm nc
drivin' nails, and. you can bet
| amt a-going to try to drive n
: more nails neither! !! And you ca
bet,' continued Mr.. Spoopendyk'
with till densitying intensity and
a war-dance flourish as he leaped
0 the floor, 'and you can jnst b.
e your high muck a-mnclS, if you
u set that mcaslv old chrome
v yours ON the side table, Pll thro
s this dodgasted thing SO far throue
it that it won't get back in Gel
: = tury.'