The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1881-10-21

Manners 1t Home.
Good manners, like charity. must begin g
The knowledge Of what Is done and what
Is not done by persons of refinement and
cultivation, gives TO its possessor the
consciousness of feeling thoroughly at
ease in whatever sphere he may happen
70 move, and causes him to be consid-
cred well-bred' by all with whom he
may come in contact.
Good manners consist in q constant
maintenance of self-respect, accompa-
MED by attention and Difference to other
people; in correct language; gentle
tones of voice; ease and quietness in
movements and action. They repress
no gaiety or animation which keeps free
of ofense; they divert seriousness of an
air of severity or pride.
In conversation, good manners re-
strain the vehemence of personal or
party feelings, and promote that versa
Utility which enables persons to converse
readily with strangers, and take q pass
ing interest in any subject that may be
addressed to them.
To listen with patience, however
prosy our entertainer may be; to smile
at the thrice-told jest; to yield the best
seat. or the choicest dish, or the most
amusing. volume, are acts, not of mere
civility, but of kindness or unselfishness,
and are among the requirements of good
breeding.
So of every other prescribed rule of
social cOnduct-of that abstinence from
interruption or contradiction in CONVEX
sation; of that suppression of q yawn;
of that cheerful countenance, conceal
ing inward anxiety or weariness; of
those perpetual endeavors to please and
to seem pleased, which end in becoming
q second nature to those who are trained
to practice such acts in their daily home
life.
The essence of good manners is un-
selishness. Its animating spirit is for
bearance.
Thus we see that goodness is the pa
rent of politeness, and that badness is
the parent of vulgarity, for is not bad
temper vulgar? Is not selfishness vul-
garp Are not greediness, prevarication,
lying and dishonesty utterly vulgar? In
q word, is not vice vulgar?
Let our little ones be trained in an at
mosphere of gentleness and kindness
from the nursery upwards; let them
grow up in home where a rude gest-
ure or an i'll tempered word are alike
unknown; where between father and
mother, master and servant. mistress
and maid, friend and friend, parent and
child, prevails the law of truth, of kind
ness, of consideration for others. and
they will not carry into the world aught
of coarseness, of untruthfulness or of
vulgarity of any kind. Parents must
be what they wish their children to be.
In no place does the observance of
the rules of good manners bear more
gratifying results than in the home cir
Gle, where stripped of their mere for
mality, tempered with love and fostered
by all kindly impulses, they improve
the character and bear their choicest
fruits.
Politeness is not like q robe of state,
to be worn only on occasions of cere-
mony. A true gentlewoman will show
as much courtesy, and observe all the
little details of pOliteness, as unfailing-
" towards her parents, husband and
family as towards the greatest stranger.
A true gentleman will never forget
that if he is bound to exercise courtesy
and kindness in his intercourse with the
world, he is doubly bound to do so IN
his intercourse with those who depend
upon him Tor advice, protection and ex-
ample.
No observanaes, however minute,
that tend to spare the feelings of others,
can be classed under the head of trivial
tiles; and poIiteness, which is but an
other name for general Gn,iability; will
oil the creaking wheels of life more eff
fectually than any of those unguents
supplied by mere wealth or station.
Etiquette is not politeness, but only
the mere external vesture of it; too
often the mere counterfeit. Yet all its
points. artificial though they be, should
be understood. The best guide. after
&ll, is that kindness of heart which
gives honor where honor is due, and
which is ever anxious to spare the feel
ings and the prejudices of others.
A well-bred woman takes especial
care in the training of her servants, so
that her domestic arrangements are car
ried on as noiselessly and easily as if by
machinery. She does not talk of the
affairs of her kitchen and nursery to her
guests. i
The very atmosphere of house, and
the manners of the servants, proclaim
the refinement or the want of refine
ment of its mistress. The house may
be ever so small, the furniture ever so
simple, yet irreproachable, cleanliness
and neatness will reign around.
The unexpected guest finds an or
DERBY table and an unembarrassed well
come. No apologies are made to annoy
or to cause discontinue. Neither chill
dren nor servants are reproved in the
presence of others, but singly and alone.
Scandal finds no favor. and converse
ton never degenerates into gossip.
Peace and good will are the permanent
household gods.