davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1881-01-02
Portrait of Uncle Sam.

In personal appearance, Uncle Sam is
tall, bony, healthy-looking man, ap.
parently of AZ /; for, though born in 1776,
he bears his age well, and seems to be
getting younger every day. He loves to
brag of his establishment, and puts him
self on such an equality with the people
that train of hangers on are always at
his elbow. There are always at his ia
BILE a number of gray-headed old fellows,
who were his companions in youth, and
of whose services he continually speaks.
He loves to boast how Tom Such-a- one
saved his life at Bunker Hill, and how
Dick Somebody whipped fellow that
assaulted him at Eutaw. He often, too,
wipes his eyes when he looks at the pict-
ure of a tall General, hanging up in his
parlor, who, he says, whipped fellow
named Pakenham, who once tried to
take away one of his girls and a cotton
bale. On these occasions Uncle Sam
will become greatly excited, and, taking
off his cooked hat-which, he says, was
the gift of his old friend George Wash
ington-will swear he has the best land
in the world, and can out-run, out-jump,
and whip any man on the hill. In
truth, these are but eccentricities of a
character which is SO mixed up with
generous virtues as to be excusable.
Though inclined to peace, he can some
times play the braggart, and is one Of
those who, while he will give his life in
the way of friendship, in the matter Of
bargains will sickle on the ninth part Of
a hair. At any attempt upon him of this
character, he will shoulder his cane and
act out as many maneuvers as half-
pay Lieutenant OF infantry. On the
whole, he is one of those who will cud-
gel his best friend In a cause in which
he is engaged. and embrace his bitterest
enemy in whose conduct is observable
the smallest principle Of magnanimity
and honor. Southern Literary Gazette
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1881-01-02
The Upper and Lower Eyes.

"There are two pairs of eyes In man,
and it is requisite that the pair which
are beneath should be closed when the
pair that are above them perceive, and
that when the pair above are closed.
those which are beneath are opened. I"
The lower eyes see only the surfaces and
effects, the upper eyes behold causes
and the connection of things. And when
we go alone or come into the house of
thought and worship, we come with pur-
pose to be disabused of appearances, to
see realities, the great lines OF our des-
tiny, to see that life has no caprice or
fortune, is no hopping squib, but a
growth after immutable laws, under
benefcent influences the most immense.
The church is open to great and small
in all nations, and how rare and lofty,
how unattainable, are the aims it labors
to set before men! We come to educate,
come to isolate, to be abstractionists /;
in fine, to open the upper eyes to the
deep mystery of cause and effect, to
know that, though ministers of justice
and power fail, Justice and Power fail
never. The open secret of the world is
the art of subhming private soul with
inspirations from the great and public
and divine Soul from which we live
Emerson
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1881-01-02
JOKES FROM HARPER.

A LITTLE girl reproached with disobe-
dence and breaking the commandments,
said, Mamma, those commandments
break awful easy"
A FEW days after going to wake,
Bridget asked her mistress for her
money. care you going to leave ?"
" Yes, ma'am I'm going to marry the
corpse's husband. He told me / was
the life of the wake"
A HOSPITAL clergyman asked the Off
cial how one OF the insane patients was
getting along. ooh, he's certainly get
ting better" was the reply, for he told
me yesterday that he had entirely aban-
doned the idea of becoming a preacher.
AFTER listening to the various ills to
which people were exposed, bronchitis
in Florida, yellow fever in New Orleans,
lightning in the pine landslide LATEST
OF the group, pushing back his hat, re-
marked Fact is, it's rather dangerous
Twin anywhar."
WILLIAM r. TRAvERs, noted New
York stammering wit, was at his club
one night, when Lawrence Jerome, turn
ing to him, said "Look here, Travers,
1 want to tell you a frst-rate story"
CAL r-r-right," said T., ego ahead
"I'll stay if the r-r-rest will.
ONE night Uncle Harvey, keeper of q
poor-house down in Maine, was awak-
ened by the groans of one OF the old
men. "What is the matter - he asked.
"I'm dying, Uncle Harvey" said the
old man. "Tm dying go and get me
a doughnut l must have suthin' to pass
away the time
TRAvERs Was one day bidding at the
Stock Exchange when Mr.. Fl. G. Steb-
bins claimed that he was entitled to the
stock, because he had made his bid and
sat down before his friend had finished.
"Th-th-that may bible So, replied
Travers, "but ev-ever-ry body r-r-round
knows that I be-be-began first" He got
the stock.
AN old gentleman who detested smok-
ing saw that Scrubs, after the train had
started, had taken out his pipe. "You
mustn't smoke here" at once said the old
gentleman. 81 know that" replied
Scrubbs. He then calmly filed his
pipe. "Did I not tell YOU" said the
0. g. again, that You can't smoke
here?" 81 know that" gloomily re-
piled Scrubs, taking out his fusee box.
He Lit a fusee, but now the wrath of the
o. &. was dreadful. "You sha' mt smoke
here, sir !" he shrieked. 81 know
that" answered Scrubs, allowing the
fusee to exhaust itself, when he lit an
other and another; the stencil was aw-
full, the smoke suffocating. The 0. g.,
coughing and spluttering, struggled for
words. you'd better smoke, sad he.
81 know that" replied Scrubs, apply
ing the blazing fusee to the expectant
pipe.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1881-01-02
Society Events in Colorado.

The engagementbetween Pole Cat Jim
and Mush- and-Milk Sue, the Denver
Tribune says, has terminated. Parental
opposition on part of the bride.
The Colorow-Shavana nuptials will be
consummated as soon as Granny
Meacham, the brides guardian, returns
from Denver.
Fat Charlie has proposed and been
accepted by Flap-Jack Sal. The we'd
ding viii take place III the gulch below
the old Government saw-mill.
The german rendered by Mrs. Colorow
on Wednesday last was the event of the
season. Miss Plumbago Cook wore o
handsome plum-colored overdress, with
jacket of homemade carpet, large pock-
cts, and beaver ornaments; Miss Sapa-
vanero, seal brown burlaps, made short
with two deep plaitings of seamless ga"
very becoming; Miss INCA Sam, blue
denim overdress, with lace collar and
Government socks cool but striking /;
Miss Antelope, stylish gored red fan
mel, made with train, overdress of sky
blue mosquito-bar, with scalloped but
tons, hair scrambled, ornaments rare !;
Mrs. Pill Garlic Nose, demi-trained
skirt of three-ply canvas, with jacket of
plain corduroy, plentifully supplied with
bows of cottonwood bark, looped up
with sprays of slippery-elm-perfectly
ravishing. ~
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1881-01-02
Familiar Quotations.

The expression ca dim religious
Light may be found ia Milton's (" Pen
seroso, and the commonly repeated saw
that "absence makes the heart grow
fonder" is to be discovered in T. Fl.
Bayley's song, elsie Of Beauty"
Colley Cibber, as almost every one is
aware, took it into his head that he
could greatly improve upon Shakspeare's
tragedy liking Richard ILL.," and, in
pursuance of this idea, he made various
additions to the play, many of which
have, curiously enough, entered, as it
were, into the language. Among these
we may notice, $50 much for Bucking-
ham - richards himself again." and
/" My souls in arms and eager for the
fray )" but, in spite of them, Mr.. Glib
ber's tinkering, though gratefully
adopted by more than one great actor,
has now fallen into well-merited disre-
pute. In criticising Lord Beaconsfeld's
speeches, hostile papers are fond of
making effective reference to "apt allit-
eration's artful aid, but they seldom, if
indeed ever, allow Churchill, the satirist,
any credit for the phrase. Mr.. O'Con-
nor, too, If we remember rightly, has
written of the gay Conservative states
man as "the gay Lothario of politics. "
How many persons, we wonder, recol-
lect that the original "gay Lothario " is
one of the characters in Rowe's tragedy,
"The Penitent ?" Then, again, the
phrase comparisons are odious" is
almost invariably written without quo
tation marks. It occurs in Burton's
Anatomy Of Melancholy" and also
in Herbert's "Jacula Prudentum,"
and Shakespeare, in "Much Ado
About Nothing" says comparisons
are odorous. A literary journal of
some standing recently made itself
laughing stock by remarking that this
last was not classical English-a quite
sufficient proof that even he whom Ben
Jonson called "sweet swan Of Avon is
not as well known as he ought to be.
The origin of the term "the midnight
oil" is hard to trace, but it occurs in
Quarles, in Shenstone and in Gay, and
it was probably invented by the first.
"Devl take the hindermost" opens up
another difficult problem but perhaps
Beaumont and Fletcher may claim the
phrase, which was used in later days by
Butler, Prior, Pope, Burns and half a
dozen more. Diamond cut diamond"
is traceable to Ford's "Lover's Melan-
choly," where it may be found ins the
form diamonds cut diamonds and
the expression, "neither fish nor flesh
nor good red herring" seems to belong
to Sir Fl. Sheers. "Turn over a new
leaf" says Middleton, in Anything for
a Quiet Life" and it was Mrs. Mala-
prop, In Sheridan's "The Rivals who
first owned "the soft Impeachment.
Oliver Goldsmith, in "Ihe Good-na-
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1881-01-02
Cooking in Court.

The proceedings at the Brighton
County Court, in England, were diversi-
fed one day by an unusual incident,
namely, the cooking of some potatoes in
court by direction Of the Judge. A
wholesale-potato merchant was sued for
the recovery of money which he had
been paid for potatoes which were al
legged to be of different kind from
those ordered. The Judge, after ex-
amining some of both samples as well
as of the potatoes supplied, felt that in
order to enable him to give a correct
Judgment in the matter it would be nee
essary to cook specimens of each. This
was accordingly done, while other cases
were being heard. The cooked potatoes
were then produced in court and eaten,
the result being that the Judge was sat-
isfed as to the quality of the condemned
potatoes, but not so satisfied as to the
skill of the plaintiff in the art of cook
ing. The verdict was accordingly given
for the defendant.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1881-01-02
=" Skintillating.1

There is no telling whether a Colo
RADIO mine will turn out bonanza, or
"peter out" GA man can't see very
far into the ground" said an cold
hand" explaining why mining is so I'M
certain. Some settlers take to farming,
seeing that the mining camps pay high
prices for food for thousands Of men and
beasts. But even farming, though the
crops are abundant, has its risks, as the
following story, told in Nj. Hayes
"New Colorado" plainly shows:
81 was mining up Central City," said
an cold timer, - "and there came along
one day man with onions to sell. We
were glad to get vegetables about there.
"Well, sir, 1 didn't say anything, but
I allowed that farming must be better
business than mining, and 1 had better
go into it myself. So l quit my claim,
and struck ranch, and hired Dutch
man at 500 month to take charge.
"Well, my vegetables began to come
up. And one day, Tim Ewell, sort of
marketman, came along and stopped to
dinner, and knew he was counting the
cabbages in one of my fields.
"Then says he, Joe, / must have
those cabbages,' and he offered me
81, 300 for the lot, and took him up,
and he pulled out bag of gold-dust.
But I didn't want it in the house, and I
told him to put it in the bank, and give
me check when he liked, and to send
for those cabbages any time.
cat any rate, there was $50, 900 in
that crop, and [ began to feel tony, tony,
Sir, tell you.
"And as I was building my castles in
the air, the sun was kind of obscured,
and I looked up over Table mountain,
and saw queer kind of cloud. And
while I was looking, out came the sun,
and the air was full of millions of dia-
mond points, just stimulating, slsdntit-
loti,a9, sir.
"And what was it? Grasshoppers'
wings And they settled down, some
inches deep, on my ranch, and out Of
my $50, 900 worth. L had-one hatful Of
lettuce that was under glass
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1881-01-02
Choosing a Bonnet.

Does any man realize the trials we
women have to endure under the neces-
sity fashion imposes upon us of select
ing suitable head covering? He is
very quick to say GLOW herrid you
look How in heavens name did you
come to buy such looking thing as that
you've got on your head ?" And thinks
all we have to do is to exchange our IN
lucky purchase for something more
suited to his taste. He never dreams
how tiresome it is to find that some
thing.
We 60 down town with o nice little
sum of money in our purse, andfake our
best friend along to abide by her decision
in choice. We go to one millinery es-
adjustment, ask to see "the latest, )"
remove the remains of last years style
from our heads with tenderness we
never felt for it until the present mo-
ment. take seat, and are experimental
upon for the next half-hour. Our friend
plays conspicuous part in the opera
pointed, we find nothing fits, whereupon
W. are told by the polite French woman
walt1.e on us: "But madame's head so
small W. ave to make something for her.
Ii she sele0,,de style, why, we can copy
non; Sne Ma. eyes "to the front of
US, ETC., nut a. each article placed
Overwhelmingly. Tit 40 and d;san1
egxzatle to suit her." Blu 9. madame "
finds no style becoming. Ter friend
whispers to her of place whe4, che is
sure she will find something to pease
her, and, with polite thanks to the a..
appointed little French woman, we leave
the shop in quest of new fields. We
are sorry at not having found something
at the first store. At the second we be-
gin to weaken on a certain shape we
have seen which, if made smaller, We
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1881-01-02
CuriOus Scene.

A most respectable jury-every one OF
them ESQ freeholder-was impaneled
at Clonmel, Ireland, to try most i'm
portant question. During the course Of
the trial the learned Judge had to retire
for half an hour, promising to be back
on the expiration of that time. The
Judge then retired, and so did the jurors
In some time after, one of the jurors re-
turned, and stated in open court, to an
astonished audience, that he had been
to christening, drank the child's health,
a speedy uprise to its mother, and that
her son might be q much better man
than its papa. This caused so much
surprise that those who heard it re-
NAMED silent. He asked learned coun-
sci to give him the song called "The
Low-backed Car" At this request the
learned gentleman shook his head. The
juror then said, "You won't, won't you?
Then I'll do it myself ;" and SO he did,
in excellent style, and concluded amid
the braves Of a crowded court. He then
made speech on the duties of pater-
nal Government, and acquitted himself
with equal credit, and was vociferously
applauded. He then demanded that the
Judge should be sent for; and, this de-
mand not being acceded to by the crier,
he stood up and called the learned Judge
to come into court, on a fine OF ESQ.
This he did three different times, and in
the usual way. He then declared that
as the Judge did not come he wouldn't
wait-he should go back to the christen-
ing; and he accordingly left the jury
box, and finally the court. In about
half an hour he returned, and, not see
ing the Judge on the bench, he COM
menced singing "Rory O'More,'' after
which he stepped into the jury-box, re-
Stunning his seat among his fellows,
who appeared quite "glum" at his an
tics but he, seeming not to mind the wry
faces of hisbrethren, began to hum asong.
He then tried what he could do at the
Kent bugle, and succeeded to admira-
ton but, just as he had concluded
splendid solo, the learned Judge made
his appearance at the corner Of the
bench, where he stood listening, in mute
establishment, to the music of the
special juror, who was equally astound-
ed when he heard the cry of ''Hats off |!
Be pleased to keep silencep In the
meantime something was said to the
Judge, who good-naturedly adjourned
the court for the further hearing of the
case until the following morning.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1881-01-02
Thread from Wood.

The manufacture of thread from wood
for crochet and sewing purposes has, it
is said, been started in Sweden. The
manufacture has arrived at such state
of perfection that it can produce, at a
much lower price, thread of as fine
quality as Clark's, and has from this cir
cumstance been called thread ga la
Clark" 1t is wound in balls by ma
chinery, either by hand or steam, which,
with thelabeling, takes one minute twelve
seconds, and the balls are packed up in
cardboard boxes, generally ten jim box.
Plenty of orders from all parts OF Sweden
have come in, but as the works are not
yet in proper order there has hardly
been time to complete them all. The
production gives fair promise of success,
and it is expected to be very important
for home consumption. = Scientific
american.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1881-01-02
Fiye-Minute Call.

Out of a fve-minute call, woman
will gather inspiration for a good hours
speech when she gets home. She will
tell her husband-who is SO interested !:
"You know that Mrs. Stuckup has new
furniture, the second time within three
years, if I am not mistaken, and lace
curtains with lambrequins, and her black
silk dress made over, and her hair done
up in new way, higher than she used to
wear it, not becoming a bit, and her
girls got her hair banged, and all dressed
in white, and is going to Miss Giddi
eurl's school in the fail, and the cooks
gone off mad, and she says she's almost
tired to death, and is going to Swamp
scott next week, and Miss F'lirt is going
to have young Spoodlington after all,
ard Miss Smiths going to give her a
pair of bouquet holder, she says they're
good enough for her, she got them cheap
up to Ragshop's and Mrs. Ferguson's
got a boy, lots of hair on his head, and
looks three months old everybody says,
and Steve Barker's awful dissipated they
say, and that Lovewell girls father Or
dered him out of the house, and she's
been taking on awful, and declares she
will have him, and the Stiggenses have
moved out of town, and the Browns have
lost everything, and Mrs. Smiths bought
a whole piece of cotton, wonder where
she got the money? and" By this
time the husband is asleep, OF has fed.
A man could never make so much out of
a weeks visit. All he would remember
would be that Browns got a pretty
wife, keeps good cigars" or some other
equally inconsequential matter.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1881-01-02

Blake's cradle song is very pretty, but
rather too long, and not too grammatical
in the later verses
Sweet dreams, form shade
Der my lovely infants head;
Sweet dreams of pleasant streams
By happy, SILENT moony beams.
Sweet sleep, with soft down
Weave thy brows and infant crown;
Sweet sleep, angel mild,
Hover DER my happy child.
There is something of the disconnect-
ed conference of the visions of the night
in Beddoe's "Dream Pedlary," which
reads like memory of poem heard in
sleep:
q If there were dreams to sell,
What would you buy?
Some cost passing bell;
Some light sigh,
That shakes from hfes fresh crown
Only rose-leaf down.
If there were dreams to sell,
Merry and sad to tell,
And the crier rang the bell,
What would you buy!
But sleeper and more soothing song
than this is Sydney Dobells chief sue.
cess il verse, passage of drowsy and
monotonous music that rings
'Twixt the soul's night and day,
Singing awake away,
Into sleep.
Probably wider research than we
have made would discover many more
lullabies and songs of sleep, which might
make q charmed volume for wakeful
eyes. Mr.. Tennyson's cradle song in
"Sea Dreams and the verses from the
princess -
Now sleeps the crimson petal, now the white
with the languid choral music of the
"Lotos Eaters" should not be omitted.
Shelleys poem, "The Magnetic Lady to
Her PATIENT -
Sleep on, sleep on forget thy pain,
My hand is on thy brow
would try the force of it's mesmeric
spell. Shelley's poem on. "Night, too,
might claim place in a volume of lul-
labies for grown-up children by virtue of
its lines:
Thy brother Death came and cried,
"Wouldst thou me 2"
Thy sweet child Sleep, the flmy-eyed
MurInured like noontide bee,
"Shall nestle near thy side?
Wouldst thou me?" and replied,
"No, not thee!"
Filicaja's ode must not be forgotten, nor
Cowley's, nor Denman's song in "The
Sophy." But Keats sonnet may close
the list Of invocations which Homer
made Hera begin:
Oh, soft embalmer eff the still midnight
Shutting with careful fingers and benign
Our gloom pleased eyes, uncovered from the light,
Enshaded in forgetfulness divine;
Oh soothest Sleep, if SO itplease thee, close,
In mids. of this thine hymn, my willing eyes,
Or wait the amen, ere thy poppy throws
Around my bed its lulling charities:
Then save me, or the passed day will shine
Upon my pillow, breeding many woes;
Save me from curious. conscience that still lords
Its strength for darkness, burrowing like mole:
Turn the key deity in the oiled wards,
And seal the hushed casketof my soul.
In spite of Keats. and OF the proverb
about the sleep of the just, we fancy
that conscience keeps few people awake.
Coffee and overwork, and tobacco, and
the noises of the night may demand
choral, but not conscience. Men have
lain awake, and the night has fretted
them, but not for MISUNDERSTANDING
Poo,jo1p
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1881-01-02

tured Man," wrote measures, not men,
have always been my mark" and
Burke, doubtless alluding to the popu-
larity of the phrase in his day, spoke of
"the cant of mot men, but measures.
To Milton we owe the saying that
Peace hath her victories
No less renowned than war;
and it was Goldsmith again who, in
"She Stops to Conquer" introduced
us to " the very pink Of perfection. -
London Queen.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1881-01-02
ON THE EVE OF THE WEDDING.

o, love, before we part tonight,
Before the last / will " is spoken
Before the ring has touched my hand,
OF pure, true, endless love the token
Before the church with holy rite
Her blessing on our love has given,
Look straight into my eyes with yours,
And answer me in sight Of Heaven.
Is there within your heart of hearts
One lingering shadow Of regret
One thought that you have chosen i'll?
Oh speak-'6s not too late even yet.
Is there in all this world of ours
One you have ever known or seen,
Whom, if you had earlier seen or known,
You would have crowned your chosen queen
Is there? pray you tell me now,
And will hold You bound no more.
will not finch to hear the truth.
1t could not be so sad, so sore,
To know it now, as it would be
If by and by a shadow fell
Upon the sunshine of our home;
So, if You ever loved me-tel.
I'd hold you pure from blame, dear love;
And would leave you free as air,
To WOO and win that happier one;
All this for your dear sake I'd bear.
will not say how would pray
That God might have you in His care;
That would be easy-when think
OF you, my heart is all one prayer.
But could ! join her name with yours,
And call down blessing from above
On her who had robbed me of my all
My life-my light-my only love?
Yes J even that I'd try TO do;
Although my lonely heart should break,
I'd try to say, "God bless her! too,
Through binding tears for your sweet sake.
Pm looking up into your eyes;
But, though my own with tears are dim,
j read that in their true, clear depths,
Which tells me, "You may trust in him."
WILL will 1T needs no words,
Though yours are flowing warm and fast,
And eloquent with truth and love;
Forgive my doubts-they are the last
Journal.