The Dillon tribune. [volume] (Dillon, Mont.) 1881-1941, 1881-04-16

\ farmer found potato bug on his din.
,.r.t,blc the other day, and thus to the bug
-. .; ,culated: Good heavens: have you
,.,,t TO have your potatoes cooked this year:
>
Servant Ito Irish laborer): "llcrc's
some beer, Pat, il YOU care to have it; but
I'm afraid its quite dead" Pat-"Och,
dead is it, Shure, then, darlint. It's I'm the
hoy to bury IT,
\ fat woman Of Cornith, Miss, drank
a.h.bark tea to make her lean, and she
skipped for the better land just two hours
ahead of lean woman who was eating
.,un, arabic to make her tat.
.hu'. wife and John were httc-o-fetc:
She witty was, industrious he;
Saws John, "1'vc earn'd the bread we've
ate;"
And l." says she, shave M'a'd the tea
,.1.-.----- --..-.-.---~----
A man met an old woman II, An Engiisl,
town driving several asses. "Adieu, moth
rr Of asscs" cried he. "Ad;eu, my son,
was the old cronc's reply. The fellow
went his way, feeling for his cars.
\ witness on entering the box, had a
Testament presented him, but he declined
to be sworn, Being asked his reasons
tor refusing he natively replied: "I'll tell
lie wi ony mon i England, but Ill not
swear to it."
A person meeting an old man with silver
hair, and very blacl, bushy beard, asked
him, show it happened that his beard WAS
not so gray as the hair on his 'lcad:' BE
Cause" said the old gentleman, Its twenty
years younger"
alas the cooking book any rictures:'
asked a young lady Of bookseller. "Not
one replied the dealer in books. why"
exclaimed the witty miss, "wl'at is the use
Of telling us how to make dinner if yo,:
give Il, no rlates:'
\ traveller Of the most familiar type to a
>eedy old gentleman in a railroad car:
but why, sir, do you not answer me when
address your" "And you, sir, why do
YOU address me when do not speak to
>ou?" (No more conversational
-~----.--~--------,-----~.-~~
4 would-be prophet lately said IN one OF
his sermons, that he was sent toredccn the
world and ali things therein. Iron
hearing this, IL native pulled out two five
dollar bills on broken banks. and requested
Linn to fork over the specie for them.
Some people have such excellent con.
versational powers, their flow Of thought is
so rapid that they talk right along without
givin. others chance to speak. Polite.
ness demands that ever one, even the shy
and awkward, should have an opportunity to
speak.
A Boston wife softly attached pedom-
ter to her husband when, after supper, ht
started to Ego down to the office and bal
ance the books" On his return fiteer
miles Of walking were recorded lie had
been stepping around billiard'table all thu
evening. .z
The Irishman had correct appreciation
of the fitness Of things who, being asked b,
the Judge, when he applied for license tt
sell whiskey, II he was Of good moral char
acter, replied: "Faith, yer honor, don
sec the necessity Of good moral character
to sell whiskey!"
"Been vacin,tcd Miss Black:" "Ycs, in
deed, Mr.. White. should just hate to di
of that ma ty smal...ox. Why they say thu
i'you die Of il you must be buried in I'll
middle o. the night and nobody goes to til
funeral" allow very, very sad it is for til
corpse, to be sure!'
An American tourist was visiting Maple
and s,w Vesuvius during an erupt'o
.tIave you ANYTHING like that in the Ne
World:" was the question Of an ltali'
spectator. mo-" replied Jonathan, ''but
guess we have mill dam that would y
it out in five minutes"
~ jury composed exclusively Of Viii
men," says the Charleston News, us as RI
Il thin. in South Carolina in these days
u Jury composed exclusively Of black nj
would he In New York" But II does II
say whether white men in South Carroll
arc as rare as black men i'll New York
not.
Lit the next spel.in5 .rct'rm convent
nc held in Maine, and adopt measures
reform the spelling Of the lakes OF t
State. Some OF the lakes there ONLY
quarter OF mile in length have names
u mile long. The informers might wrts
with Lake Observation-Disclosures
quitamackinoeue to begin with.
--~-~-~~~-------~-~>--
ais the water all freze up" asked \
dorothy OF Jcems, who was trying
break the water in the rain cask. .
auntie, should say it was frozc dow
and he turned his axe so as to send a Il,
.r Of fine icc in the old lady's face. "rt
An impudent trick" sud she. ooh,
said the young~ter; Its an ice respons,
Second Sisht.-Thc science Of
a""sin tdjunct :op ge'dcmain is very
s''e when once understood. Tie consc
S'eS sit with their backs to the audi.
! he wonderful silent question consist
simply putting your hand on the head
spectator from time to time. and rap
A.