The Mankato free press. [volume] (Mankato, Blue Earth County, Minn.) 1879-1924, 1881-08-12
HUMOR.

Brownjohn very appropriately calls
his yacht his floating debt. 1t isn't
paid for. >.
There is true saying that the bung-
hole of an unthrifty mans barrel is
where the spigot ought TO be.
Heaven must DO poor place for the
clergy. People are not married or
given in marriage there.
A correspondent asks: els there
much difference between steer meet
and a bycicle meetp" Yes, rs much rs
there is between veal and wheel.
| There is one advantage in buying
tripe-if you don't eat it. it serves nd
mirably for half-sOling boots.
Tho San Antonio people complain OF
little fishes in the water-mains. They
can't expect tho Water Works company
To furnish them with whales l2O feet
long for dollar month.
''Had dA6hk" is not good English
grammar, says II high authority. 1t
certainly is not. "Was drunk" Is bet
tor grammar, and more in accordance
with the facts nine times out Of ten.
Afflicted man: mo, it's no disgrace
to be named Smith," We'd rather be
named Smith and own over 800, OOO.-
600, than be called st. Clarence De
We're and have to be bashful Of the dog
tax collector.
In speaking of a newly-wedded pair,
a gentleman said of the husband: 1.-THE
trouble with John is. he has no mind of
his own" '.Oh, that will make no diff
ference; Sarah will always BIO ready To
give him piece of hcrs!' responded
the lady.
The noble rcd men who sell Indian
curiosities ut Niagara Falls may be seen
every day perusing the news from Ire
land in the daily papers: Although far
from home. they feel deep interest in
their distracted and cOcrced country.
She was sitting in II street car looking
rs sweet rs peach in her fresh muslin
dress and bcwitching brOad-brimmed
hat. He, the clumsy brute, trOd heav-
lily on tho dainty foot in passing
awkward fellOww sprang involunta-
rily to the rosy lips. Excuse me, miss. -
apologized the "fellow," valiantly.
"but, really. your foot should be largo
enough to be seem" Sequel-dimples.
bushes, and full forgiveness.
Base ball is old rs the world, rs is
proven by the very first line in Genesis
-"In the big inning" etc. =,
The last attempt tor aise money that
we hear of is by u fellow who tried 10
pawn .the silent watches of the night. y
A blank day. Old gent (grceting
fricnd): ..IIullo, JOrkins. been fishing!
What did YOU catch?" JOrkins. GLOOM
ily): "Ha' past 6 train home"
With three exclamation points George
II. Hcpworth has given the title to his
new book, which is I" The most
pointed criticism seen of the work is
%? ?" leaving the question OF its
merits open.
The Bostonians arc undecided wheth-
or to construct their exhibition build
ings in the form of Il loaf OF brown
bread or a heaping plate OF baked
beans, the votes of the most aesthetic
rather favoring the latter design.
..Sam, YOU are not honest. Why do
you put all the good peaches on top OF
the measure and the little ones bclow?'
.Same reason. sab, dat makes dc front
oh your house all marble and de back
gate chiefly slop bar'l. sah."
..What is mythOlogyw asked John
Fiske in the Atlantic. WI give it up.
What is your thOlogy?
1t is curious 10 note how closely bus
mess and sentiment are connected III
some mems estimation. Last week u
s.professionar' was heard to remark:
ii never knew anything more full Of
pathos and real touching feeling than
my old mothers deathbed scene. If l
could get that in good drama, I'll bet
you it would catch on and run like the
devil"
A stranger entered large manufac-
turing establishment u short time since
to view some heavy machinery. and in
an evil moment became entangled in
some Of the gearing and was drawn in
and instantly killed. AS there was
nothing on or about his body whereby
to identify him, the bystanders came
to the conclusion that he was travelling
| in eOu