Connecticut western news., 1881-09-21
WIT AND WISDOM.

WIT AND WISDOM. ADAaE by a young lady-Man pro- poses, but mamma disposes. Punch.
 "THANK God for rainy weather l chant it, ye merry rills; and clap your hands together, ye exultant hills"
 OVER one hundred men in Coloradot town hunted nearly all night for os brick-bat. It was a silver one, howe yer.
 EDITORS wives will probably W ear f1ounces of Spanish lace this year. It costs S24 y ard.-Boston Conanaer caa Bal5etin. You should always require receipt For money you lend on the streipt, For there's many a debt Which would never be mebt | If chance were discovered to cheipt. THE doctors assert that the heart of Marvin, the polygamist, is sound and untouched and this after he has mar ried sixteen wives What an unnuatural monster
 A PHhADEhPHIA man vanished fifty big watermelons to see how long they would keep. They kept until the work men in carriage shop next door dis- covered them.
 asked by a party of young ladies the other evening to sing, warbled forth: " She wo weath Of --oaas- the night when foyst we met"
 THE principal difference between Flip per and Howgate seems to be that Flip per stole $1, ,O0O and is in jail, while How gate stole $400, 900 and is in Canada Chicago Tribune.
 UNDER the new law of New York State man who marries must support his wife. Hitherto the girls father has been expected to take care of her for about six months of the year.
 WE have seen ladies who were insuf- ferably shocked at the sight of man in his shirt sleeves, and their own arms were bare almost to the shoulders Women are strange creatures.
 THIS ''number1eg of comets A, B, O and D, the same as man files away his ) old tailor bills or marks his cider jugs, ) is we'll calculated to bring contempt upon the whole business of astronomy.
 MAN who was full of champagne, Went out in a shower of ragne, He spoilt his fine clothes,
 AS one would suppothes,
 But he says he won't do it agagne.
 WHEN you see fruit-peeling on the ) sidewalk, push it off into the gutter; it , will not take long, and there is no tell
 ing but that the first person to be dis , abled by it if it remains there may be poor man who owes you money. OCCULT, but very sweet: An extreme agony is for young lady to add to her toilet large sunfower at her belt. The occult signifcation of this is: "I always turn toward the son-of some rich man." Isn't there touch of the in- tense about this?
 Cor ahead of her there There was an Italian who was addicted to cards, but who never had any luck, and who apostrophized Fortune thus "Ah,
 treacherous goddess Thou canst make me lose, but thou canst not make me ."-Bufalo Erpress.
 Two GEESE with one stone Two young swells were making fun of good country curate. The abbe, after stand ing 1t pretty we'll for while, said i, "Allow me to say, gentlemen, that I am not precisely flop nor altogether fool, but betwixt the two." The young , men departed.
 !, HEARING that MT. Conkling was e about to start newspaper, the editor of Y the Cincinnati Enquirer asks: "Does s MT. Conkling know anything about n the details of newspaper management? Gan he estimate job work, and tell apic- f. nic committee how much twenty-five @ eight-sheet posters will cost them, and f when they will be ready?" e A CHURCH in Boston closed for sum- tt mer vacation put sign over the en- o trance: e:-"No services or Sunday school Il in this house during the hot season" 7" IS Some sarcastic wag drew on the door a of the side entrance, in colored chalk, e picture of the devil, life-size and in
 
 with the inscription underneath:-"Not
 too hot for me here l"
 FROM "True Stories for My Little ], Girl": "As William Wilkins was T. walking in the gar den one day, he met y his dear sister and thus he did say l. why is 8 squash like little news
 boy?' She gave it up. Because, said 'd this wicked boy, the older he grows
 the more of yell-er he will be- His good grand-mam-ma overheard him pr and went to bed sick with grief" .o GABE SNoDaRAss recently applied to ,s the Rev. Aminidab Bledso, of the Blue Light Austin Tabernacle, for some pe' eo cuniary assistance. CT jess can't do it, '' 7o replied Parson Bledso. "I has to sport a ;" my pore ole mudder." "But yer pore
 ole mudder says you don't do muffin fol Q her." "Well, den, eff I don't do muffin r for my pore ole mudder, what's de use o ob an outsider like you tryin' ter make ,n me shell out ?"-T'eras Ssfti1gs.
 RECENTLY it seems to us as though { in large number of people throughout thii to country have nothing to do but writ al postal cards to newspaper publishers Irt asking for sample copy of their paper at Perhaps these people think we are pub
 fishing paper just to wear out ou
 young life, but that is where they fal
 l