The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1881-02-25

Boiler explosions are becoming 30
numerous that vaccination appears neces-
sary to keep them from breaking out.
philadelphia Chronicle Herald.
A CHICAGO restaurant keeper adver-
tises "roast turkey and cram berry saus,"
and yet hungry man might go where
they spell better and fare worse.-Ne,O
Orleans Picaytinc
"Dosr love me? Tell me once again,
My little pootsy tootsl'
With love-lit eyes she sweet replies;
do IL You bet your bootsl"
The Cleveland Herald has published
some verses entitled: "Why do sing?"
and written by young woman. 1t is
probably because her father paid five
hundred dollars to music teacher for
spelling good stocking darner.
AT an undertakers' conference in New
Yorkrecently, one undertaken complained
that the sections were getting ''all the
cream OF our business" What for Heav-
ems sake, Is 1.-THE cream" of the under
takers business?
In oldea times, when people heard
Some swinder huge had come 10 grief,
They used good old Saxon word
And called that man :" thief"
But language such as that to-day
Upon too many feelings CRATES,
So people smile and simply say,
He re-hypcthecates.'
The man who journeyed long to spit
upon the grave of his enemy found that
the said enemy was drowned In lake
and his body not recovered. There are
lots of things i'll this world to make a
man mad.-Detroit Free Press.
THE Galveston Ne,os says q man in
that city who had mule for sale, hear
ing that friend in Houston wanted to
buy a mule, telegraphed to him: "Dear
mule don't forget me"
AN exuberant youth halls supposed
acquaintance with Hello, Joe," but,
finding his mistake, adds: 80, excuse
me; 1 thought you were another man !"
Laconic stranger answers: Il am. -
Buffalo Express.
No Adolphus, newspaper men do not
have duplicates of the last straw that
broke the camel's back. They are USE
full, rs You say, but newspaper men are
so accustomed to d-k-g the other
way, they don't care straw about
them!
A MINISTER overlook Quaker lady
and politely assisted her in opening a
gate. AS she was comparative stranger
IN town, he said "You don't know.
perhaps, that L am Mr.. -. Haven't
you heard me preach?" II have heard
you try, " was the quick rejoinder.
GAS for me-" says Nine H., whose
husband is a member of the Assembly,
II always do my shopping when the
Senate is discussing the appropriation
bills. Then, you see, my husband is ac-
customed to such large figures that my
bills look small to him. French paper.
THIS is the particular time of the year
when the citizen is attacked with a Sc
we're case of economy, and Immediately
cuts OFF his entire list of newspapers
There is one paper he does not relin-
quish, however. 1t is his paper of to-
bacco.-R ockiand Courier.
THE man who works in factory. his
pay day comes once a month; but the
man who works at ditching has his spade
day oftener than that Narration hide
pendent. Hoe! Hoel Fork conscience
sake shove long this pun, and don't har-
row lap our feelings in this way.
A YANKEE tobacco chewer was in the
habit of declaring about once a month
that he would never chew another
piece" but broke his pledge as often as
he made it. On one occasion, shortly
after he had "broken off," he was seen
taking another chew, "Why." said his
friend, lyon told me you had given up
that habit, but / see you are at it again. "
Yes he replied, 81 have gone to
chewing and left off lying"