Litchfield enquirer., 1881-08-04
EJ CLIPPINGS.

Pa., to whom letters should be addressed Sold by all prominent druggists. H99R YI1T9 1+--~--es4ztf 98E CIV
 CLIPPINGS.
 Rocking chairs would be more comfortable if they were less tidy.
 Mrs. Burlington is dead set against the Re- versed Scriptur. 1
 MT. Conklipg will now lproceed to open some old wounds and aalaw' office,
 Watered silks are the popular fashion for temperance people.
 Blind Tomcan play {. 900 pieces byear The given.
 Don't eat ice cream with glue in it. It causes stuck up feeling that is exceedingly disagreeable.
 An Austin man wants to bet that he can sleep for a week. All he has to do is to hire himself out in store that does not advertise.
 When member of the New York legisla- ture is asked by the bar-keeper what he will take, the absent minded reply is, $2, 900.
 The Fijlans call doctor a ''carpenter of death" They might have guessed ten times more without guessing so near again.
 They say that Chicago grain speculators pray every morning. ''Giye us this day our daily army wOrm." -S/ abs ,
 A tourist was seen shedding tears at the tomb of Washington the other day. It is sup posed he lost $5 somewhere in the vicinity.
 Young clergyman Cat clerical meeting)- 'I merely throw out the idea" Old clergy man-"Well, I think that is the best thing you can do with it."
 The law of Maine sends man to jail for thirty days for getting drunk. We manage affairs different in Pennsylvania. For a sim- liar ofense we send him to the legislature. This is the season of the year when the small boy goeth to the barber, and winketh at him and sayeth, "cutteth off the ends of my hair" And behold, the barber cutteth off the hair and leaveth the ends .x ;f After the choir in one of the churches in Ithaca, N. Y., had performed a rather heavy selection, the minister opened the Bible and began reading in Acts xx., "And after the up- roar had ceased"
 The Guv'nor: "Another of tLese college bills of yours, sir ]! It's too bad, a great deal too bad-n shows 8 want of principle, sir ' Son and heir: "It's not the want of principle dad; it's the want of means to act up to it." Burnham Wardwel has now undertaken to reform Connecticut's prisons Burnham means we'll, but he don't accomplish much. Boston Herald. Especially when he addresses,the people of Connecticut through the columns of the New York Sun.
 An experienced matron says: "A man will pa plaint, when his best girl invites him out to tea. But after the girl becomes his wife, if there the faintest indication of touch of saieratus in thsm the neighbers will think there is district school out at recess.
 Fogg thinks it strange that nobody thought of reducing the temperature of the Presidents room by holding a church s'social' in, it. Bdgg says that one of the sssocials" that they have in his so%n m T9na ae pS S bssgp ssnpg gsea a acoa insless than five minutes 8
 ''Yes, sir," said the old colored man, ''de frs yeah, when l gave $50 to de church, dey call me Mistah Richard Johnson, Esquih de second yeah times were bad ad I couldn't give no more than $25, an dey call me Brudder Johnson; de next year could't give muffin, an Gey call me ole niggah Johnson"
 .1 udFc uO phtleuCc Wltn q man WQO can L remember thing no longer than it's being told hlm," exclaimed Jones, impatiently ]: ''Now l can carry thing in my mlud month if need be. You're lucky dog, Jones, 7" remarked Pendergrast, quietly; ''it isn't everybody that has so much room in his mind you have, youk @# '-A"Who was the greatest American poet ?" asked Professor Stearns. George Washing tpp ho hnv in, fho ''he was versed in war. versed in peace, and ver-" But the professor interrupted him to say that was the verst he ever heard, and just then the lightning struck the Baptist college, and without coming to vote, the house adjourned. ,-z .-. z- .-, ~ essz
 "How did you like the lecture ?"t .'Oh.. it he said so many beautiful things" 'sTell us some" S''Oh, he said-he said-but can't tell it to you as he said them" Well he said the aesthetics of existence enabled us to- to-oh, can't" "Tell us what you think he meant" 'sOh, go long! Why didn't you go and hear him yourself! ]"
 Your mind is in twilight state," observ. ed Joseph Cook to a Hindoo. You cannot differentiate the grains of mistrust from the molecules of a reasonable confidence. You | are travelling the border land, the frontier be- tween the paradise of faith and the Arctic re. gions of incredulity. You are. an agnostic D And then he explained to friend that he had to clothe his thoughts in language of the ut most simplicity in order to make the Hindoo understand.
 gDr. Louis of New Orleans, who is some- thing of a wag, called on Baptist minister and propounded a few puzzIing questions. ''Why is it, sad he, 7'that you are not able to do the miracles that the apostles did ? They were protected against all poisons and all kinds of periis; how is it that you are not protected in the same way?" The colored brother re- sponded promptly, Don't know about that, doctor; 1 s'pect I is; I've taken mighty sight of strong medicine from yeu, and is alive yet" ,84
 One of our prominent physicians was | awakened from his slumbers late the other i night by messenger and carried in haste to the bedside of an old lady for whom he had prescribed the day previous sDOctor," said the aged patient, ignoring his attempts to feel her pulse. and grasping his hand firmly, 'sI sent for you to tell you how grateful am to you. That medicine you gave me is just the thing. l knew you must be too anxious about it's results to sleep, and couldn't sleep tlll had sent for you and told you myself how awfully obliged am to'you." FROM THE DANBURY NEWS:
 H. 5N., of Goshen. publicly admits that the Singing is much improved since his retufa to the church choir.
 The child of Birmingham man was dead. They were arranging for the funeral Ills sister wanted number of coaches She said l Onpht hn O forf fo,, ;lr, l coach for that family, and another for so and so. when ahe quietly observed, 'Jaaes this sin't 'tacircns.r K. A. --a. -sS