The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1881-02-18
THE TROUBLES OF A POET.

While Col. Bangs, editor Of the Argus, was
sitting in his Office one day, man whose
brow was clothed with thunder entered
Fiercely seizing a chair, he slammed his hat
on the table, hurled his umbrella on the
floor and sat down.
Are you the editor ?" he asked.
Yes
''Can YOU read writing?"
''Of course
''Read that then" thrusting at the colonel
an envelope with an inscription upon it.
b" said the colonel, trying to spell it,
That's not b. It's an 5, said the man.
''S; Oh, yes; see. Well, the words look
little like salt for dinner or Souls Of
sinners, said the colonel.
''No, sir" replied the man, nothing Of
the kind that's my name-Sam1 u. Brun-
ner. / knew you couldn't read. 1 called to
see you about that poem OF mine you printed
the other day on the 'Surcease of Sorrow d"
Il don't remember il, said the colonel
"Of course you don't, because it went
into the paper under the infamous title OF
'Smearcase tomorrow -
a stupid blunder Of the compositor's, I
suppose
Eyes, sir, and that's what want to see
you about. The way in which that poem
was mutilated was simply scandalOus.
haven't slept night since, 1t exposed me
to derision. People think l am an ass. Let
me show you"
GO ahead" said the colonel.
"The first line, when wrote it, read in
this way
Lying by weeping willow, underneath a slope
That is beautiful, poetic, affecting. Now
how did your vile sheet present it to the
publico There it is! Look at that Made
it read this way:
Living TO a weeping widow TO induce her 10 elope'
Weeping widow, mind you y widow o,
+ thunder and lightning This is too much
It's enough to drive man crazy -
I'm sorry" said the colonel; ''but--'
"But look a here, in the fourth verse, -
said the poet. That's worse yet. What l
said was:
Cast thy pearls before the swine and lose them in
the dirt.
/ wrote that one clearly and distinctly in a
plain, round hand Now, what does your
compositor do? Does he catch the sense of
the beautiful sentiment? Does it sink into
his soul? No, siri lie sets them up in this
fashion. Listen
Cart thy pills before the sunrise and love theml
they hurt
Now isn't that cold blooded outrage on a
mans feelings? Tuleave to YOU if it isn't 81
ITS hard, that's a fact, " said the colonel
'And then take the fifth verse. In the
original manuscript it said, plain as daylight
Take away the iingling money it is only glitter
ing dross.'
a man with only one eye, and a cataract
over that, could have read the words correct
ly. But your pirate upstairs there, do you
know what he did? He made it read:
Take away the jeering monkeys on sOroly CLAN
dered horse
BY George! I fe,t like Draining him with
the fire shovel 1 was never so cut up in
my life -
1T was natural, too - said the colonel
There, for instance, was the sixth verse.
l wrote
4 am weary. Of the tossing or the ocean as it
heayes.'
1t is a lovely line too bat imagine my hor-
Tor and the anguish of my family when I
opened your paper and saw the lines trans
formed into
I am wearing out my trowsers till they sre-opsn
That is a little too much, That seems like
carrying the thing an inch or two too far. !
1
that compositor, don't you
Il think you have"
LET me read you one more verse. ]
wrote
I swell the flying echoes as they roam among tho
hills.
And fcel my soul awakening to the ecstacy thai
thrills.
Now, what do you s'pose your miserable out
cast turned that into? Why this
I smell the frying shoes as they coast along tn,
! bulls.
And 1 peel my soul mistaken in the erctary tha
~hirls.'
Gibberish, sir awful gibberish must sla.
that man. Where is he %
Gle is just out now" SAID the colonel
Come in tomorrow
Il WILL" said the poet, "and 1 will com
armed"
Then he put on hIs hat, shouldered his um
brela, and drifted down stairs-lfay Ade,er