The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1881-01-27
WAKING THE WRONG MAN.

| The fact that every business has it.
particular lingo. which is dead language
to people of other professions, was never
more clearly shown than in the following
article by Bill Nye:
One night about half after l2, I Judge,
heard somebody step along to the win
dow of my boudoir. Hearing it .ha'
| time of night l reckoned that something
crooked was going on. so slid out o.
bed and got my Great Blood Searchel
aud Liver Purifier, with the new style OF
| centre fire aud cartridge eiector, and sli6
up to the window, calculating to shove ;,
tonic into whoever it might be that was
picnickiug around my claim.
| looked out so as to get good idea of
where wanted to sink on him, and then
[ thought before l mangled him I'd ask
If he had any choice about which part of
his vitals he wanted to preserve, so ]
sings out to him:
"Look out below there, pard, for Im
going to call the meeting to order IN
minute. Just throw up your hands, if
you please, and make the grand bailing
sign of distress, or I'll have TO mntilate
You! just show me about where you d
like to have the fatal wound, and be spry
about it. too, because I've got my brief
costume on, and the evening air is chilli"
He didn't understand me apparently,
for gurgling laugh welled up from be-
low, and the party sings back;
"Hullo, Fatty. is that you? Just look
in to see if you'd fired up yet You
know | was to come around and flag you
If second seven was out. Well, I've been
down to the old mans to see what's on
the board. Three is two hours late and
four is reported on time. There's two
sevens out and two sections of niue,-
Skinney'll take out first seven and
Shorty'll pull her with 1O2. It's you and
me for second seven, with timber Jim on
front end and Frenchy to hold down the
caboose. First five is wrong side up in
wsshout this side of Ogalalla, and old
Whatshisname that runs 25S got his
crown sheet caved iu and telescoped his
head light into the New Jerusalem. You
know the little Swede that used to run
extra for Old Hotbox on the emigrant
for while? Well he's firing on 258, and
hes under three fats and coal oil tank.
with break beam across his coupler and
his system more or less relaxed. He's
Igone to the sweet subsequently too. Rest
oi the boys are more or less demoralized
AID sidetracked for repairs. Now, you
6on't want to monkey around much, for
/ you don't loom up like six bits and go
S.ue on the trauh .,o v1,. l,4es.i II give you
time check and the Oriental Grand
Bounce. You hear the mellow thrill of
ny bazoo."
Then l slowly uncorked the Great
Blood Purifier and, moving to the foot
lights where the silvery moon beams
could touch up my dazzling outlines, I
said: Pardner, [ am pleased and graft
fled to have met you. 1 don't know the
first ding-busted thing you have said to
me, but that's my misfortune. am
plain miner, and my home is the diges-
tive apparatus of the earth, but for pro-
fessional melody of the chin you certain
ly take the cake. You also take the cake
basket and what cold pie there is on the
dump. My name is Woodtick Williams.
[ discovered the Feverish Hornet ND on
Slippery Ellum. I am proud to know
you. Keep right on getting more and
more familiar with your profession, and
oyean bye, when nobody can-under-
stand you, you will be promoted and
respected, and you will at last be sleep
ng car conductor and revel in the big
5est mental calm and wide shoreless sea |
Of intellectual stagnation that the world |
sver saw. You will"
But he was gone.
Then took the pillow sham and wip-
ID some of the pulverized crackers off !
ny feet and went to bed in large COB |
4 gloom.