The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1881-11-21
HIP m TIE KIrCHEN.
The Experiences Or q Lady'of Laramie
WithaReW OF Her Domsstiel.

The Experiences Or LaAy'of EaRami
WlthaR Few or Her Domesties.
From Blu Sye'l RoomepanE
81 desire to advertise for q girl to d
general homework" said a Laramie lad,
to the business man Of the Boomerang yes
terday. 81 have had some little trouble
and annoyance during the past year, ant
would like, II | could, to get a gOOC
girl who differs in many respects fromthos'
l have been wrestling with. Last fall
heard Of good girl who was working for {
neighbor of mine, and went to work syste
matically to get her. l found out after
wards that it was put up job on me, and
that the neighbor wanted me to get the
girl more out Of spirit Of revenge than
anything else. The girls name was Cleo
patra. She wanted S97 per month and the
use OF the piano, | was so sure that she
was a good girl that ! engaged her
on that layout, Cleopatra had so many
lovers that we had to move the sofa into
the kitchen on Sundays, and my husband
and myself sat around on the floor, while
Cleopatra wooed the festive mule punCher,
We wanted to throw all the home influences
We could around Cleopatra, so that she
would feel perfectly cheerful and like one
Of the family, She used to wear my dress,
es when was away, but when asked her
to let me wear her wardrobe she seemed
hurt, and her whole system was churned
up with Convulsive sObs By.and.bye my
dresses got kind OF shabby, as the result Of
continuous wear by Cleopatra and myself,
and so she got disconnected and went
away. Then got q nice girl from NebraS-
ka; but Just us she had learned to make
q pie that would yield to the softening
influences Of time, she married man from
Bitter creek, who was SO cross-eyed that,
when he wept, the scalding tears would
run down the back Of his neck, ! then
secured a girl from the old country. She
couldn't speak the English language flu
emily, and so we didn't have a very socia-
BILE lime OF il. When would tell her to
wash the dishes she would generally black
the stove or bring in q scuttle Of coal. /
used to pour out my soul to her sometimes
and ask her to confde in me, but she had
q far.away look like man who cannot pay
his board bill. One day at dinner asked
her to bring in the dessert, but she did
not grasp my meaning, and through some
oversight brought in the dish rag on q tray.
She used to wash the Children's faces with
the stove rag and brush their hair with the
shoe brush, and in that way soon won their
esteem and regard, One day, while we
were at table, she brought In tho soup, and
in an unguarded moment stuck about seven
inches OF her thumb in the hot soup, in
order to get more secure grip on the
tureen. In the first impulse Of coy and
maidenly surprise she thoughtlessly drop.
ped the tureen and soup in my husbands
lap. My husband Is shy and rath-
er retiCent man, but he rose with
a graceful movement to his full
height, and killed her with the cary
ing knife and kicked her CORY remains
under the table. After the inquest got o
hOllow.eyed girl from Fort Collins, She
was an orphan, with pale hair that used
to work up In the hash. She was proud
and impulsive in her nature, and ate
everything in the house. We used to hear
her in the middle Of tho night foraging
NTOuHu HItcT COlu PIE anu fragments OF
rich and expensive grub, She had a singu.
lar yearing for jam and an imprisoned
longing for preserves that we never sue.
ceeded in quenching, When the jelly
and fruit cake gave out she would
sadly turn her attention to cold
ham and mustard, with the shoulder
ing ruins Of baked beans and cold cab.
bage and vinegar We stood 1t till gro
ceries came up SO, and apples got to be
seven dollars and a.hali a barrel, and
then we asked her to send in her resig.
nation. Shortly after that my hus-
band made an assignment, What /
would like now is good girl, not 80 much
as companion and confidential promoter
OF financial ruin, but more to wrestle with
manual labor in the kitchen, at so much
per wrestle and board. lam not difficult
10 please, but l don't want to pay the same
salary that the cashier OF q bank gets, just
for the sake OF having q pampered mental
in the house who doesn't do enough work
to drive away her ennui."