Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1881-10-15
BEFORE THE WEDDING ANB AFTER.
From HarperAs BsMr.


1t is the fashion for the mother Of the groom
to invite both the family Of the expected hriie
ana herself to dinner as soon affer the formal
announcement OF the engagement rs possible.
Inc two families should meet and should make
friendships at once. This is important
1t Is to these near relatives that the probable
date OF the wedding day is first whispered In
tune TO allow of much consultation and prepare
ton IN the selection Of wedding gifts. In opu-
lent families each has sometimes given the
young couple silver dinner service. and much
silver besides. and the rooms of the brides
fathers house lock like jewelers. shop when
the presents are shown. All the magnificent
ormolu ornaments for the chimney piece hand
some clocks and lamps, fans in large quantities
spoons. forks. by the hundred. and of late wears
the nne gilt ornaments, furniture. camei's hair
shawls, bracelets-all. all are piled up i'm most
admired confusion. And when the invitations
are out. then can come in the outer world with
their more hastily procured gifts; rare specimens
oil China, little paintings, ornaments for the per-
son-all. all are in order.
A present is generally packed where 1t is
bought, and sent with the giyer's card from the
shop to the bride directly. She should always
acknowledge its arrival by personal note writ
ten by herself. A young bride once gave mortal
offence by not thus acknowledging her gifts.
sne SAID that she had so many that she could not
nnd time to write the notes This was consid-
ereu poast1ul and most ungrac0us.
uI1s winch owe their value to the personal
TASTE or INDUSTRY OF the friend who sends are
particularly complimentary. A piece Of embroi-
aery, a painting, water color, are most flatter-
mined interest
No friend should be deferred from sending q
smah present, one not representing q money
value, because other and richer people can send
more expensive one. Often the little gift re-
mains as most endearing and useful souvenir.
As for showing the wedding gifts, that is q
thing which must be left to individual taste.
Some people disapprove of it, and consider it
ostentatiOus; Others have large room devoted
to the display Of the presents, and 1t Is certainly
amusing to examine them.
AS for the conduct Of the betrothed pair dur
ing their engagement our American mammas
are apt to be somewhat more lenient In their
views of the liberty to be allowed than are the
English. With the latter no young iady lis al
lowed to dine alone with her fiance; there must
be servant behind. No young lady must visit
in the family of her fiance unless he has a
mother to receive her. Nor is she allowed to 60
to the theater alone with him, or to travel under
his escort, to stop at the same hotel. or to relax
one OF those rigid rules which q severe
chaperon would enforce; and ii must be allowed
that this severe and careful attention 10 appear
ances is in the best taste.
AS for the engagement ring, modern fashion
prescribes diamond solitaire, which can range
In price from 1850 to 50 600. The matter OF pre-
sentation is a secret between the engaged pair.
Evening weddings do not differ from day we'd
dlngs essentially, except that the bridegroom
rs. u
and white cravat, black pantaloons and vest.
III the wedding is at home, the space where
the bridal party is to stand is usually marked of
6y ribbon, and the clergyman comes down in
his robes before the bridal pair. They face him,
and he faces the company. Hassacks are pre-
pared for them to kneel upon. After the cere-
mony the clergyman retires, and the bridal party
take his place, standing to receive their friends
congratulations.
Should there be dancing at a wedding. it is
OrOnQr hr 10 10 tha fret drill
with the best man, the groom dancing with the
nrst bridesmaid. 1t is not, however, very Gus
tomary for bride to dance, or for dancing to
occur at an evening wedding
After the bridal pair return from their wedding
tour the bridesmaids each give them dinner or
party, or show some attention, if they are SO
situated that they can do SO. The members of
the two families also each give dinner to the
young couple.
1t is now a very convenient and pleasant Gus
tom for the bride to announce with her wedding
cards two or more reception DAYS during the
winter after her marriage, on which her friends
can call upon her. The certainty of finding q
bride at home is very pleasing. On these occa-
sions she does not wear her wedding dress, but
receives as if she had entered society as one of
| its members. The wedding trappings are all
put away, and she wears dark silk, which may
be as handsome as she chooses. As for wearing
her wedding dress to balls or dinners after her
marriage, it is perfectly proper to do so, if she
dlvests herself of her veil and her orange bios
SONS.
The bride should be very attentive to all her
husbands friends. They will look with interest
upon her from the moment they hear of the en-
gagement, and it is in the worst taste for her to
show Indifference to them.
Quiet weddings either in church or at the
mousse are very much preferred by some fami-
lies. Indeed, the French. from whom We have
learned maryland might learn more-lessOns
OF grace and good taste, Infinitely prefer them.
For quiet wedding the bride dresses in a
travelling dress and bonnet, and departs for her
wedding tour. 1t is the custom in England for
the bride and groom to drive Off in their own
carriage, which is dressed with white ribbons,
the coachman and groom wearing white bou-
quets, and faVOrs adjoining the horses ears. and
| for them to take months honeymoon. There
also the bride Of she be Hannah de Rothschild
or the Baroness Burdett-COutts) gives her brides
maids very elegant presents as locket or a
bracelet, while the groom gives the best man
scarf-pin or some gift. The American custom
is not SO universal. However, either bride OF
groom gives something to the bridesmaid and
Scarf-pIn to each usher. Thus a wedding be-
comes very expensive and elaborate affair,
which quiet and economical people are some
times obliged to avoid.
After the marriage invitations are issued, the
lady does not appear in public.
| The period OF card leaving after q wedding
is not yet definitely fixed. Some authorities say
ten days, but that in city, and with an immense
| acquaintance, would be quite impossible.
II only invited to the church, many ladies con-
slider that they perform their whole duty by
leaving a card some time during the winter, and
including the young couple In their subsequent
invitations. Very rigorous people call, however.
within ten days, and if invited to the house, the
call is still more imperative, and should be made
soon after the wedding.
But if young couple do not send their future
address, but only invite one to a church we'd
ding, there is often q very serious difficulty in
knowing where to call, and the first visit must
be indefinitely postponed until they send cards
notifying their friends Of their whereabouts.
Wedding invitations require no answer, But
people living at q distance, who can not attend,
should send their cards by mail, to assure the
hosts that the invitation has been received. The
usual form for welding cards is this:
MR.. and MRS. THEODORE CHAPMAN
request your presence at the I:
marriage OF their daughter, on I:
Wednesday evening, November fourth, at eight
O'Clock. (:
Grace Church. /. I
Inc caro- Of the young lady, that of her in
tended husband, and another card to the
favored