Richland beacon., 1881-12-10
PLEASANTRH&

"YEs sir," said Mr.. Gallagher, "it
was funny enough to make Q donkey
laugh. laughed till I cried. /"
"ISDEkD, sir, 1 would box your ears"
-(pausing, reAectively)-"but where
could I find box large eneugh3"
PATRICK on the zebra: "Phat kind
of a baste is that the mule with his
ribs op the outside Of his skhin entirelyT
"WHY don't you have some stile
about your" said the man who had
looked along mile of barbed fence for
an entrance.
BETWEEN "drouth and drought,
the press of the country appears to have
no particular way of spelling that which
indicates dry spell.
An Indian idol vas recently found in
Kansas. 1t was made Of earthenware,
WAS brown in color, and has a handle.
1t will hold two quarts.
ONE lively fly can scratch up and
scatter more seeds of religion than the
most eloquent divine can BOW in o whole
forenoon Whitehall Times.
ALlrrLE girl in London Sunday
school, being asked why God made the
flowers of the field, replied: "Please,
ma'am 1 suppose forpatterns for artificial
| flowers"
NIAGARA Falls isso brilliantly illumin-
ated by the electric light every evening
that after paying the hackman you can
easily see whether there is anything left
IN your pocket-book.
INSECTS are becoming fashionable for
jewelry, but then it is not pleasant to
find this kind of fashionable jewelry or
namenting the mattress of tho summer
hotel.
FIRST player-"I d.aamt last night I
was playing Hamlet" Second player
II am very thankful to say that did
not dream that was one of your audi
enoe."
INoUIRER "Isit wicked to 60 fishing
Sunday, if you don't catch anythings"
1t is horribly wicked. You've no busi-
ness to waste time, and profanity i
always wicked.-Boston Pos.
THIs world IL not all sadness:
With bitter comes the sweet;
Your girl may not be handsome
| Your wife may have cold fest
But ever comes the knowledge
That ycars Of earnest work
May some day mats you able
| To bluff hotel clerk.
"WELL, Mary, how do you like your
nsw home in vermont?" "Well, mum,
We all like it but father, and the air Il
too embracing for him, but under tho
canister Of heaven think there isn't .
more beautifuller place."
MOTHER" said fair-haired urchin,
"I don't want to go to Sunday-school.
1 want to go fishin'.'! "But the fish
won't bite on Sunday" "Well," re-
sponded the probable future President,
"I'n risk it, any way. Maybe there's
some that's like me"
BRAKRMAN-"The train is now about
to enter the State of Missouri. Gen.
tlemen who have not provided them
selves with carbines will pass forward
70 the locomotive and crawl into the
tender"
The "utterly utter kind of talk has
infected the street gamins, one of whom,
after picking up a more than usually
fragrant cigar stump, exclaimed to his
friend "Jack, this is quite too POSI-
lively bully"
THE KIND OF ROSEBUD sK1 II
I'm an only daughter young girl
| A spit curl aud frizzes young girl.
| a Ianguishins, dainty, al powdery and panty,
Sit up at II young girl
| I'm would-be aesthetic young girl,
dets on the arts young girl,
pset in embryo, don't know thing, ysu know,
AL on the surface young girl.
I'm novsl-reading young girl.
! A lie awake until young girl,
A romantic, half-crazy, but terribly lasys
Lot ma do the work young girl
| I'm Q look out for . catch young girl,
A snatch EN- up quick young gin,
A half do the proposing, and bss 'sn vhsn dosing
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