davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1881-07-31
friendship.

Few words better illustrate the elas-
ITCHY of language than '.friend." Your
friend is the man who votes for you if
you are in public life, or the man who
entertains you, or is entertained by you,
if you are in social life. Your friend is
the man from whom, in extremity, you
could borrow money. He again is found
in two varieties One will humiliate
while serving you, the other will not.
There is the friend who will borrow from
you found in two varieties. One will
pay again, if he can, the other will not.
There Is the friend whom you can use,
and whom it is your interest to cultivate;
and there is the friend who forms this es-
innate of you. There is the friend who
gives you little prestige, and of whom
you talk with obvious satisfaction; and
there is the friend who was barely intro
duced to you, and who, your name being
good one, describes you evermOre as if
you and he had grown up together from
childhood There is the friend who will
try to do you good turn and say nothing
about it; and there is the friend who
makes warm public profession of his
esteem for you CHS friend" when he is
proceeding to prove you blockhead OF
a cheat.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1881-07-31
Waste and Want.

Much waste often occurs in the boiling
Of meats. The cook will throw out the
water without letting it cool to take of
the fat or scrape the dripping pan into
the swill-pail. The grease is useful in
many ways; it can be burned in lamps,
mixed with lard, or, when no pork has
| been boiled with 1t, made into candles.
| Bits of meat are thrown out which
would make hash; the flour is sifted in a
wasteful manner, or the bread-pan left
with dough sticking to it, pie-crust is laiI
by to sour, instead Of making few tarts
for tea; cold buildings are considered
good for nothing, when oftentimes they
might be steamed for the next day; vege-
tables are thrown away, that would warm
for breakfast nicely; dish-cloths are
thrown where mice can destroy them:
soap is left in water to dissolve; if bath
brick, whiting, rotten stone, etc., are
used, much is wasted, uselessly.
The scrub brush is left in the water,
pals scorched by the fire, tubs left in the
sun to dry and fall apart, chamber-pails
allowed to rust, tins not dried, and IRON
ware rusted; nice knives used for cook
ing in the kitchen, silver spoons used for
scraping kettles, or forks used to toast
bread; cream is allowed to mold or spoil,
mustard to dry in the pot, and vinegar to
corrode in the castor: tea, roasted coffee,
pepper and spices to stand open and lose
their strength; the molasses-jug loses its
cork, and the flies take possession; sweet
meats are opened and forgotten; vinegar
is drawn in basin and allowed to stand
till both vinegar and basin are spoiled;
potatoes in the cellar grow, and the
sprouts are not removed until they be-
come worthless; apples decay for want
of looking over; pork spOils for want of
salt, and the beef because the brine wants
scalding; hams become tainted or filled
with vermin for want of the right pro-
lection; dried beef becomes so hard it
cannot be cut; cheese molds, and is eaten
by mice; bones are burned that would
make soups; ashes are thrown out care
lessly, endangering the premises, and
being wasted
Servants leave light burning in the
kitchen when they are all out of an even
ing; clothes are whipped to pieces in the
wind fine cambrics rubbed on the board,
and laces torn in starching; carpets are
swept with stumps scarcely fit to scrub
the kitchen, and good new brooms used
IOr SCruDDlnS; tCWelS are uSeO III place
of holders, and good sheets to iron on,
taking fresh one every week, thus
scorching every one in the house; table
linen is thrown carelessly down and eaten
by mice, or put away damp and is mil
dewed, or the fruit-stains are forgotten
and the stains washed in; the tablecloths
and napkins are used as dish whipers;
mats forgotten to be put under hot dishes;
teapots melted by the stove; water for
gotten in the pitchers and allowed to
freeze in winter; and china used to feed
cats and dogs on.
In many other ways q careless and in
experienced housekeeper will waste her
husbands wages, while she thinks be-
cause she buys no fine clothes and cooks
plainly, that she is "most superior
housekeeper
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1881-07-31
A PerilOus Situation.

During the past winter reverend
clergyman in Vermont being apprehen-
sive that the accumulated weight of the
snow upon the roof of the barn might do
some damage, resolved to prevent it by
seasonably shovelling it off. He there
fore assembled it, having first, for fear the
snow might all slide off at once, and
himself with it, fastened his waist to one
end of rope, and giving the other to his
wife, he went to work; but, fearing still
for his safety, he said, ssMy dear, tie the
rope round your waist" No sooner had
she done this, when off went his wife,
Thus, on one side of the barn the as
founded and astonished clergyman hung;
but on the other side hung his wife, high
and dry, IN majesty sublime, dangling at
the other end Of the rope At that mo-
ment, however, a gentleman luckily
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1881-07-31
The Duke. and the Hoodlums.

from the San Francisco News letter.
81 have heard great deal about thood-
lums.' but have never seen one," said the
Duke of Sutherland during his visit here
to the polite clerk at the palace, "could
you send one up to nv room for inspec-
tom" Mr. Smith, who is the soul of
politeness, at once dispatched one of his
sable myrmidons in search of the article
in question. The porter evidently knew
the ropes, for in less than half an hour
he returned with as choice specimen of
the genus hoodlum as the heart of the
most exacting Scotchman could desire.
1t was Red Headed Mike, the Tar Flat
Daisy, as good representative hoodlum
as ever stoned Chinaman or balanced
himself on six-inch heel. $50 you are
a hoodlum, are your" said the benign but
politely inquisitive nobleman, as he ran
his eye over the gallus- looking youth be-
fore him. "Guess So" said Nike. whose
cast-iron cheek didn't wilt particle I'M
der the inspection, "but amt this kind
of dry cIrcus?" The duke, with his
native politeness, jumped up and rang
the bell While his back was turned
Mike skillfully helped himself to hand
full of cigars from out of box on the
table, taking at the same time meer-
shaun cigar-holder. The waiter soon
appeared with the drinks, and under their
soothing influence the sTar Flat Daisy'
opened out. Each word was prefaced by
an oath, not ordinary oaths, but oaths
such as made blue shading round his
mouth as they chased each other into
space. He also grew so alarmingly FAM
iliar that the duke was glad to hand him
S5 piece and get rid of him. AS Mikes
brick -colored back hair disappeared
through the door, the duke, with a sigh
of relief, thanked Heaven that the breed
was unknown in the land of cakes.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1881-07-31
Cnring Himself.

''Don't you know it's very wrong to
smoke, my boy?" said an elderly looking
lady, in railway waiting-room, to
Young America, who persisted in putting
cheap cigarette, much to the old lady's
discomfort.
80, I smoke for my health" answered
the boy, emitting a volume of smoke
from his mouth which almost strangled
the old lady.
"But you never heard of a cure from
smoking?'' continued the old lady, when
she had regained consciousness.
80, yes, did," persisted the boy, as
he formed his month into young Vesu-
vius working on full time; "that's the
way they cure plgs.p
''Smoke on, them" quickly replied the
old lady; "there's some hope for you
Vptp,
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1881-07-31

got the rest; but then it seemed that if
he remembered all it ought to help him
some. They were all very kind to him
for several days, and some of his friends
came over the bay to cheer him up bit.
Among them came his friend Jack Hib-
bard, and this was Jacks advice:
"You ought to get married at once,
man. Do you remember Mollie - and
Joe -? Well, they were both thought
to be consumptives before they were
married. Look at them now Is there
healthier looking couple in Frisco?"
Many letters came, among them one
from his own mother and one from his
sweetheart. 81 think you ought to try
my remedy, half glass of milk mixed
with half a glass of syrup" wrote his
mother.
"Aunt Packard says you must eat
roasted lemons and very rare steaks,
twice day." wrote his sweetheart.
Rogers purchased just forty-four dol
lars and ninety cents worth of medicines
and remedies His trip to Santa Cruz
cost him fifty dollars. His trip into the
Sierra foothills cost him nearly twice as
much. He had caught his cold in Feb
ruary; it was June when he walked into
| Zulano'S rooms on his return.
81 have been waiting for you to come
back" said Zulano, 81 want you to
come over and see DR.. Phosphate.
The new physician made long and
careful examination. "Well, what have
you been doing for it9'' he asked.
Rogers enumerated the various pan
aceas aforementioned.
Anything else?''
"Well, yes. Butterfeld charged me to
put iodine on my chest. l did so every
day for month, And a cousin of mine
advised hot mustard baths three times a |
week. | have tried them also"
"That'll do. | don't wish to disparge |
DR.. Healw ater's power Of diagnosis, but
think his examination was premature. |
As to the other remedies, they are useless |
to man of perfect!y-sound lungs"
s'Sound?"
''Sound as bell, sir
II could have told you So" said Zu-
lano, with repressed but extremely irri- |
tating satisfaction.
"Why in the deuce didn't you then"
growled Rogers.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1881-07-31

Parting counsel of an Arabian mother
to her daughter on the eve of marriage:
Thou art now parting with those who
gave thee life; thou flest from the nest
which has sheltered thee until now, from
which thou hast often gone forth to try
thy strength in learning how to walk,
and thou art finally leaving it now to fol-
low a man whom thou knowest not, TO
whose society thou art not accustomed
Let me advise thee to be his slave if thou
wishest him to be thy servant. Be con-
tent with little. Be circumspect as to the
things his eyes may see, and have a care
that they may discover what is blamable.
Watch over his food as well as over his
sleep; hunger causes irascability, sleep
.lessness produces ill-nature. Husband
his property, treat his family with affec-
ton. Be mute about his secrets When
he is cheerful do not be angry; when he
is angry do not appear cheerful. If thou
doest. Allah will bless thee
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1881-07-31
Piles.

Piles are frequently preceded by a sense of
weight in the back, loins, and lower part of
the abdomen, causing the patient to suppose
he has some affection of the kidneys or neigh
boring organs. At times symptoms of indi-
gestion are present, as Aatulency, uneasiness
of the stomach, etc. Amoisture like perspi-
ration, producing very disrgreeable itching,
particularly at night, after getting warm in
external and itching piles yield at once on the
application of DR.. Bosanko's Pile Remedy,
which acts directly upon the parts affected,
absorbing the Tumors, allaying the intense
itching and effecting q permanent cure
where all other remedies have failed. Do not
delay until the drain of the system produces
permanent disability. but try 1t and be cured.
Price 50 cents. Ask your druggist for it, and
If YOU cannot obtain it of him, we will send it
prepaid, ON receipt of price. Address The Bo-
anko Medicine Co.. PiQua, Ohio.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1881-07-31
Il. L. wEATHEELY.

T. Il. wEATHEBLG.
Pm in love, but I've never told her,
Never told the maiden love;
lie in the long green grass ana behold her
AS she swings in the boughs above,
I'm a student with toll o'erladen,
And a student ever should books prefer, =.
But she's such darling dainty maiden.
Ny thoughts go swinging away with her
See saw!
Margery Daw!
Up i'll the apple tree Margery swings;
And lying under,
Watch her and wonder
What is the ditty that Margery sings.
And she goes swinging; and so shaving,
Turning the leaves of Z musty book;
But surley that was her white hand waving,
And surely that was my darling's look.
A perfect fortress of books ! sit IL,
Ethics, economy politics law,
But all the pages l VOW were written
By that little philosopher. MargeFv Daw.
See saw!
Margery Daw'
Up in the apple tree Margery swings;
And I, lying under,
Watch her and wonder
What IS the dittv that Nargerv sings.
The light IS fading the day grows older,
And now the westerng sun is gore,
And Margery Ino more behold her;
In the deep cool grass lie alone.
For Margery she was sunbeam only,
And was fool forall my pairs;
But whenever I'm sadand whenever m lonely
Back comes Margery back again
See saw
Nargery Dawl
Up in the apple tree Margery swings;
For "Life's q dream,
And loves shadow
And that is the ditty that Sfargery sings.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1881-07-31

MRS. SOUTHEY.

MRS. SOUTHEY.
River river little river!
Bright you sparkle on your way,
o Ter the yellow pebbles dancing,
Through the flowers and foliage CHANGING,
Like child at play.
River! river! swelling river!
On you rush DER rough and smooth.
Louder, faster, brawling, .leapipg, -
Over rocks, by rose banks sweeping,
Like impetous youth.
River! river! trimming river! ~
Broad and deep and still as Time,
Seeming still, yet still in motion,
Tending onward to the ocean,
just like mortal prime.
River! river! rapid river!
Swiftly now you slip away;
Swift and silent as an arrow,
Through channel dark and narrow,
Like life's closing day.
River! river! headlOng river!
Down you dash into the sea;
Sea that line hath never sounded,
Sea that voyage hath never rounded,
Like Eternity!
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1881-07-31
Shrinkage and swellage.
Detroit Free Press.l

Detroit Free FreSS.
81 tell you sab, dis partnership bisness
am powful resky," said the old man as
he nibbled green onion at the Central
Market. ssLas' month went into partner
ship wild Caesar White in the peanut bis
ness. He furnished the rooster anil bought
the peanuts, an we was to whack up on
profits. Dat Caesar am bad man, an
doan' you forget it. If hadn't bin on
de watch fur him I'd been cleaned out
sky high What sort of game dye
'spose he tried to play on me?"
No one could guess, and finishing the
rest of his onien, the old man continued:
"Well, sab, when we come to roas' dem
peanuts dat Caesar wanted me to believe
dat de shrinkage offset all my sheer. in
the bisiness, an'he ordered me to get away
from dat rooster amigo home !"
ssAnd you went to lawY' V
"No, sahr got an inspirashun' bout
dat time, anil poured the whole bushel
into barrel o. water. In five minits dem
peanuts had swelled all my capital back
an gin me six shillin' claim On de roast
er besides, ar. de way Caesar gin three
dollars to dissolve partnership an git out
beat any boss race you cher saw!"
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1881-07-31
When We Were Young.
from Harper's Magazine. ]


Then the summer mornings were full
of singing birds, always waiting outside
our windows to help us begin the day
with happiness. Then flowers were
born, as if to accompany the birds in
their benevolent mission Then all our
dreams were pleasant imaginings, ''Arab-
ian Nights Entertainments" frolic Wis
ions of undoubted joy. Then June was
the longest and loveliest month in the
calendar Then we were never depressed
by bad weather Then headache had no
Judgment nearer than our neighbours
BRAIN. Then personal rheumatism was
unknown to us. Then insomnia had not
been invented, and we were not obliged
to draw upon the apotliecary for walls of
sleep. Then we could walk twenty miles
a day without fatiguel Then all was
gold that glittered. Then we were
young!
go, that will make ne difference; Sarah
will alwaps be willing 70 give him piece
of hers!" responded lady.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1881-07-31

of the room, but two or three of tn
larger boys sat silent and unsympathetie
ssYou. know how ambitious he is il
school; and what little gentleman, al
ways"
eyes, IN. That's so. We know
Only two unsympathetic faces now; bu
one of them, that of a sulky boy in tn
corner, looked as if its owner were men
tally saying: Cant think what YOUR
driving at, but I'lInever give in-never
'sYou all know how brave he was whel
Joe Willis dropped his new knife between
the boards of that unfinished building OF
Corliss street How he did what no othe
boy in school would do-let himself dow1
into the cellar. and CROPPED about in tn,
dark until he found it for him."
eve know that-yes, m. Hurral
for -
"Stop minute. One thing more"
"Sulky-boy's companion was shouting
with the rest, and Sulky- boys own face
had relaxed
siYou all know" said L, chow he took
care of Willie Randall when Willie hur
himself upon the ice How he drew hin
home upon his own sled, going very
slowly and carefully that poor Willie
might not be jolted, and making himself
late to school in consequence"
eyes, m. Yes, ma'am. Hoo-ray for
little Dunbar!" Sulky-boy was smiling
now, and | knew that my cause was
won.
every WE'LL" said l. CHOW let us
talk about to-day He has disobeyed
me, and--of course ought to punish
him.
''No, IN; you oughtn't. Don't punish
him! We don't want him whipped''
'sBut I have given my word. 1t will
be treating you all unfairly if I break 1T.
He has been such faithful boy that l
should like very much to forgive him,
but | can not do it unless you are all
willing"
"We're willing. Wen give you leave
Well forgive him. Well"
:'Stop! 1 want you to think Of it care
fully for minute. 1 am going to leave
the matter altogether with you. L shall
do as you say. If, at the end of one min
ute by the clock, you are sure you forgive
him, raise your hands.
My dear, you should have seen them
If ever there was expression in human
hands, Isaw it in theirs that day. Such
ashaking and swapping of fingers, and
an eager waving of small palms--break-
ing out at last into hearty simultaneous
clapping, and Sulky- boys the most dem
onstrative of all!
''Dlsorderly," do you sayf Well, per-
haps it was. We were too much in ear
nest to think of that looked at Frank.
His blue eyes were swimming in tears,
which he WOr,ld not lat fall
As for me, turned to the blackboard,
and put down some examples in long di-
vision. If had made the divisors larg-
er than the dividends, or written the nu-
merals upside down, it would not have
been at all strange, in the circumstances
And the moral of this-concluded Miss
Jenkins (she had just been reading ''Alice
in Wonderland'')-is that teacher is
human, and human being doesn't al
ways know just what to do.--MarY G.
Bartlett, in St. Nicholas for August
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1881-07-31
Not q Summer-House.

An Eastern mai stopping at the house
of Chicago friend, who had a fine
country-seat near that city, was sitting.
after breakfast, at the bay window in the
back parlor, and, glancing over an ex-
panse of greensward that stretched before
him in the morning sunshine, beheld an
object, the character of which he could
not exactly make out, so he tentatively
observed, "The high wind last night ap-
pears to have overthrown your summer
house, Mr.. B." His host looked in the
direction indicated, and smilingly added,
added, $50, that isn't a summer house;
that's one of Mrs. BIS old croquet
shoes"
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1881-07-31
Rural AstOnishment
fDanbury News.I

49,
One of our citizens was driving slowly
toward Great Plain yesterday morning,
when man at wofk in field by the road
hailed him, with the query:
"What's the news from Albanyi'
The Danbury man stopped and hesita-
tingly replied:
81 almost hate to tell you
"Why?" calculated the fielder, in
wonder
because I'm afraid you won't believe
me.''
eyes, will believe you, too" replied
the man, coming to the fence. "What is
it?''
81 don't know, said the Danbury man,
softly.
s'Hadesl'' observed the man in the field
as he applied himself with new zeal to his
work.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1881-07-31
A Doomed Man.
[San Francisco Post. I

One of our esteemed contemporaries in
this city is the Peanut, four by six inch
journal edited by an II year molder Of
public opinion, named Johnny Mcbride.
On the morning of the attempt on the
life of Garfield, Johnny's father awoke
the children and announced that the poor
President had been assassinated.
tsWho did it," asked the future Jim
Bennett, rubbing his eyes.
GA man named Giteau or Cato"
cit don't make particle of difference
how he spells it," said Johnny, sternly,
''his hash is settled-I'll attack him in
the Peanut
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1881-07-31

sDid you hear about Jim Archibald?'.
ssNo; what about himf' "Why, he was
walking along Broadway, and . man fell
out of five-story window on him, and
killed him as dead as Caesar" "Well, il
don't surprise me. When l saw him
down here last summer, ae didn't look at
all we'll" I'll e51 19s
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1881-07-31

The years have Innings just as goblets dol
The old year is the lining of the new.
Filled with the wine of precious memories,
The golden Was doth line the silver Is.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1881-07-31

"James," said motherly woman to
young man whose first sermon she had
just heard. "James, why did you enter
the ministry" 81 had call from the
Lord" said the young man; and then
came the reply, "But are you sure it
was not some other noise that you
heard?"
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1881-07-31

In speakingNf newly welded pair, a
gentleman said of the husband, "The
trouble with John is, he has no mind of
his Own.'
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1881-07-31
Expressions That May Be Overheard
Again and gain at Nuptial Events.

Again ana Again aC Nuptlal Events.
From the New Orleans Democrat
The following remarks have mostly
been said time after time at all oul
"tony" weddings, and will be said again
and again on every such occasion:
Here she comesl
Pretty, isn't she?
Who made her dress?
Is it Surah silk or satin?
Is her veil real lace?
She's as white as the wall!
Wonder how much he's worth?
Did he give her those diamonds?
He's scared to DEATH
Isn't she the cool pieces
That trains a horrid shape!
Isn't her mother dowdy?
Aren't the bridesmaids homely?
That's handsome usher!
Hasn't she cute little hand!
Wonder what number her gloves are?
They say her shoes are fvesl
If his hair isn't parted in the middlel
Wonder what on earth she married
him for?
For his money, of counsel
Isn't he handsome?
He's as homely as a hedgehog!
He looks like a circus clown!
No, he's like dancing master!
Good enough for her, anyway '5'-ft
She was always Stuck-up thing.
She'll be worse than ever now
She Tilted Sam Somebody, didn't she'
No, he never asked her.
He's left town, anyway.
There the ceremony has begun.
Isn't he awkward?
White as his collar!
< Why don't they hurry up?
Did she say she would "obeyi"
What precious fool!
There they are married! =
Doesn't she look happy? ~
Pity if she wouldn't
Wish l were in her place!)
What a handsome couple!
She was always sweer little thing
How gracefully she walks!
Dear me, what airs she puts on!
Wouldn't be in her place for farm!
I'll bet those Jewels are hired.
Well, she's off her fathers hands at
last!
Doesn't she cling tightly to him,
though?
She has mortgage on him now!
Hope they'll be happy.
They say she's awful smart
Too smart for him by ajugful.
There they are getting in the car
rage!
That magnificent dress will be
squashed!
The way she does look at him!
I bet she worshlps him!
Worship be hanged! she's only making
believe.
It's kind of nice to get married isn't
it?
No, it's dreadful bore.
Wasn't it stupid wedding?
What dowdy dresses!
III never 60 to anotherl
Pm just suffocated!
Tired to death!
Glad's it's over!
Oh, dear!