Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1881-07-31

! Hottest and most imposing emlnence, IN
| like the Free Masons and most prominent
ancient governments and architects, 1t
has been placed at the foot of gradual
slope, and suggests the thought OF q
prairie dog mound centering a wheat
| field dead line But two wings OF the
,edifce are as yet completed, one OF which
looks as clean as the face of a freshly
washed school boy, while the other IS OF
mulatto complexion, an evident admlx-
Iture of chocolate granite and primitive
mud. A huge gap divides these two
structures, which are awaiting legisla-
tive appropriations for the filling in OF
palatial center and perhaps dome.
A CONTRABAND EXPLANATION.
A colored individual of age, and
probably a former body-servant OF
George Washington, who said he
hid close behind the cottonwoods
at the first crack of the rifles and revol-
vers of Quantrell and his band of desper-
ADDE'S when they came whooping into
Massachusetts avenue at Lawrence,
"knowin' dat dem Missouri boys wanted
to see de white folks on dat occasion and
not de niggers," explained the placing of
the Capitol grounds on sand bottom
and the building of the wings upon an
air body. ''You see, boys, we just put
EN- in ground hens nest on account OBJ
de big air whirlpools, and if dem wings
don't get bowed away, arter awhile we'll
fix out de whole rooster!' Then this
tawny son of Ham, and Shem and Joeph-
at, went off whistling, when to others
thou art calling, do not pass me bye"
Strange he could beso happy and careless
| with the thermometer so many degrees
above Vennor, our present weather Nero,
with his toes grinning from crevasses IN
mis- ragged shoe uppers and his hat brlm
| Topping in the hot wind like the sail OF a
painted ship upon.a painted, but stag
na7at, ocean" Oh Kansas, how thou hast
phlebotomized in thy love for the dark
hued and shiftless ''man and brother" IN
both the past and present, and how nobly
doth thou still strip thy arms for the fill
ing of fresh bowls of venal and arterial
blood.
STATE AND NATIONAL MALADIEs.
Of course, young sister Kansas could
not hope to escape the childhood
diseases and epidemics which have
taken their turn at sickening
so many of the older sister States. In
this connection we call to mind that quite
early in life. Massachusetts was taken
with spasms for hanging and burning
witches, and though happily this mental
ailment did not prove contagious, she on
ly recovered her health at the expense of
some frightful scars; which time can
never wholly efface. Little Rhody, also,
was taken down with the Hayes fever,
but having so little surface on which the
disease could act, by special providence
recovered. Then the Southern States,
taken with fit of secession and deleriam
of madness, were cured only by the pour
ing out of the blood, and tears, and treasure
of the nation, Slapped from oneend to the
other, of the life-dlOod of her noblest
sons, and convulsed with great
throes of agony from which it
has not even yet entirely recov-
cred. Q Thank God, that this terrible
malady can never come upon our body
polite again, though possibly the last
salty tester has yet to be pricked by the
lancet of freedom and free government
between the Rockys and the Sierra Ne
vadies.
A CLIP AT BASE BALL.
A later national, though essentially
harmless disorder, has been the base ball
rash, which, though raging for protract-
ed season at high pulse, has in most Of
the States struck it's tents like
the Arabs and silently melted
into the mists of the past, only to be re-
membered as the most popular general
amusement of the century's record for
breaking bones, turning joints, depicting
pocket books and running up the divi
dends of truss factories.
STOMACH LEGISLATION, PAST AND PRES
Aside from rebellion, the most fatal
malady which has ever attacked the
world, and especially the northern States
of our republic, has been Stomach Legis-
lation AS we read in both the St. James
and the revised translations of the Scrip
lures, this deplorable illness first cropped
out in the Garden of Eden, and if the
ancient Hebrew has been truthfully de-
ciphered, had the Omnipotent for its
author Itwould seem that Father Adam
and the cypress female creation for
Adams company, had 10 thought of that
particular flavor of apple, situated as they
were in the very paradise of appetizing
fruit, until they were signally prohibited
By law from plucking and partaking.
under more dire penalties than human
ingenuity could devise, inflict or execute,
and only after the Divine injunction,
''Taste not, touch not, handle not,' did
the old serpent of disobedience
break his shell in their hearts and
open up the devilish business of commerce
in human souls. We care only to make
the point here, that through the medium
of the senses was law first defed, and
shall not further rummage the old curl
osity shop of the past, from the edict of
the flaming sword, poaching IN the parks
and domains of British no
bility, the destruction of tea by our Indi-
an disguised fathers in Boston harbor,
down to the invention of a prohibitory
law against indulgence in and sale of al
| coholic drinks by one Neal Dow, among
| the pineries of Maine.
| Maine, Massachusetts and Connecticut
took to stomach legislation against TO-
mented beverage, with their customary
hunger for new issues, and with zeal
which promised the reign of the new
temperance regime for all time in these
several State principalities; while the
former plans of saving men by moral
suasion, and for restricting the sale Of ar
dent spirits by less arbitrary methods,
were cast into the lumber rooms of their