davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Ripley advertiser. [volume] (Ripley, Miss.) 1843-1897, 1881-05-07
RIPLEY INSTITUTE.
R. o. PREWITT, University of Virginia,
Principal.

K' u PIKE WITT, university of Virginia,
Principal.
Special attention given to preparing
BOYS and YOUNG MEN for College.
Next session opens Sept. Is, 1850.
and will continue nine months.
TUITION Two Dollars to Four Dol
lars per month. Board in private fam
lilies Eight Dollars to Ten Dollars Der
month.
Total EXPENSES for session of nine
months One Hundred 70 One Hundred
and Fifty Dollars according to class.
This Institution Offers superior
advantages to the public in
location, Ripley being ono of the
healthiest towns i'll the State. II is
easy Of access-closc communication
made daily with NJ. u G. K. R.--hand-
some well furnished school building
high moral tone Of Society--freed N
from sa cons and resorts of dissip
patton.
10 those having both boys and
girls to educate, it offers special in
dneements on account Of fine Female
school (stonewall College, located
here. And again on account Of small
cost Of Board and Tuition and thor
oughless and solidity Of instruction.
For particulars, address
r. y. PREHITT,
Ripley, Miss.
- 90 100 ~
The Ripley advertiser. [volume] (Ripley, Miss.) 1843-1897, 1881-05-07
$I.OO PER N

SE.WU PER ANNUM
With Postage Free for the WEEKLY
MEMPHIS AVALANCHE,
The cheapest and most complete week
y newspaper published in the South
1t is a four page publication, and con
tains
Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1881-03-12
naAAIuna ID -

Adapted in chronic diarrhea, constipa-
ton, and scrotula.-Hy Latham, NJ ID, Pres't
Virginia Medical Society.
Successfully used in dyspepsia, chronic
diarrhea and scrofula.-Prof 5 Jackson OF
University Pa.
Efficient in anRmia; excellent appetizer
and blood purifer.-H Fisher, NJ ID, Ga.
Valuabl in nervous prostration, indlgeS-
ton and chlorosis.-G Z Mathews, NJ d,
A fine tonic and Alternative, very vaIuable
in diseases peculiar to females, chronic fe-
yer and ague, bronchitis and diseases Of
digestive organs.-J Il R%oughton, M ID, Ala.
Very beneficial in strengthening and inn
proving a reduced system.-Rev n w
Beckwfth, Bishop of Ga.
Invaluable as a nervous tonic-Hon l Q
Fowler, Tenn.
Recommended as a prophylactic in mala-
rial districts.-D r Fairex, NJ ID, o.
Restores debilitated systems TO health.-T
C. Mercer, NJ u, Ind.
Used with great benefit in malariaI fever
and diphtheria.-S + Dupon, NJ d, Ga.
EPrince Of mineral to~nics.-Francis Gillian,
or great curative virtue.-Thos + Rum
Beneficial in uterine deraneements and
malarious conditions-G NJ Vail, NJ ID, Ohio.
Best remedy ever used in diseases Of the
throat.-P A Sifford, NJ D., n g.
Tonic, Alternative, diuretic; one of natures
greatest remedies.-Medical Association OF
Adapted IN certain affections OF the kid
neys n bladder; dyspepsia, lupus, chloro-
sis, scrofulous n Affections
Prof J j Norman, NJ ID, Va.
Relieves headache, promptly, boil sick
and neryous.-Rev &c Dodson, Va.
Sample sent free to every physician desir-
ing to test. Pamphlets sent fee. Analysis
with each package. Water as II comes from
the springs 81 per case Of Q gallons in glass
$3.50 for 5 gallons, 81 for 10 gallons, S7 for 20
gallons in casks. Mass 80 cents AMI 81; $3.50
and IS for half doz. Pills, pure sugar-coated
Csc, soc and 81 package; S1.25, $3.50 and $500
half doz. Sent postpaid anywhere. This
Mass and pills contain in reduced space all
the curative powers Of the water, and Is con-
venient, palatabIe and soluble.
Springs open for visitors June LIST. Board
$50 per month. Special rates 10 families and
Carriages meet visitors at Forest
Lawyers depot, each -four miles from
springs, upon advice OF arrival.
Addres
A. NJ. DAVIES, Pres. Of the Co.,
p Main St., Lynchburg, Va.
Sold BIZ Owen Moore.
ftrrna 10 "a Am
Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1881-03-12
The Honest RumseIIer.

Friends and neighbOrs Having
just opened a commOdious house foI
the sale of Liquid Fire" | embrace
this opportunity of informing you
that | shall commence the business
of making drunkards, paupers and
beggars of the sober, industrious and
respectable portion of the commuli-
~.
/ will undertake at short notice,
for a small sum, and with great eX-
petition, to prepare victims for the
aSylums, the pOor-hOuses, the Pris-
| ons and the gallOWs.
| shall deal in drugs depriVing
some of life, many of reason, most
of property, and all of peace, that
will cause fathers to become fiends,
wives widows, children orphans,
and all mendicants.
[ will cause many of the rising
generation to grow up in ignorance
and prove a burden and nuisance
to the nation.
L will cause mothers to forget their
offspring, and cruelty to take. the
place of love.
| will sometimes ever corrupt the
MINISTERS " ObolIuCL tIiO
progress of the gospel, defile the pu-
rity of the church, and cause tempo
raj, spiritual and eternal death; and
if any should be so impertinent as
to ask why ! have the audacity TO
bring such accumulated misery up
on a comparatively happy people,
my honest reply is-Money.
The spirit trade is lucrative, and
some protesting Christians give it
their cheerful countenance.
l have a license and if [ do not
bring these evils upon you, some
body else will.
live in a land of liberty.
l have purchased the right to de-
molish the character, destroy the
health, shorten the lives and rum
the souls of those who honor me
with their custom.
/ pledge myself to do all L have
herin promised. Those who wish
any of the evils above specified
brought upon themselves or their
dearest friends are requested to
meet me at my Bar, where | will
for a few cents, furnish them with
the certain means of doing So.
Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1881-03-12
All Dead and Gone.
Magazine.

In the days of our fathers there
were such beings to be met with as
men and women; but now they are
all gone, and in their place we find
a race of " gentlemen" and
"ladies;" or, to be still more refined,
a race of ladies and gentlemen has
sprung up. Women and girls are
among the things that were. But
ladies' are found everywhere.
Miss Martineau wished 10 e the
women wards in "a prison in Ten
nessee, and was answered by the
warden, ave have no ladies here
at present, madam" Now, so far
as the ladies were concerned, it was
very well that none of them were
in prison; but then it sounds a little
odd---''ladies" in prison. 1t would
seem bad enough for ''wOmen" to
go to such a place.
A lecturer, discoursing upon the
characteristics of women, illustrated
thus--"Who were the last at the
cross? Ladies' Who were the
first at the sepulchre? Ladies' ,"
On this "modern improvement" we
have heard of but n thing that
beats this last. 1t was the finishing
touch to a marriage ceremony, per-
formed by an exquisite divine upto
all the modern reiinementS. When
he had thrown the chain of Hymen
around the happy couple he con-
cluded by saying, 81 now pro-
nounce you husband and lady.s
The audience stuffed their handker-
chiefs into their mouths, and got
out of the room as quickly as possi-
ble--tO take breath.
Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1881-03-12

/ have always remarked that
women, in all countries, are civil
and obliging, tender and humane
that they are ever inclined TO be gay
and cheerful, timorous and modest,
and that they do not hesitate, like
men, to perform a generous action.
Not naughty, not arrogant, not So
percilious, they are full of courtesy
and fond of society; more liable, in
general, to err than man, but, in
general also, more virtuOus, and
performing more good actions than
he. To a woman, whether civilized
or savage, l never addressed myself
in the language of decency and
friendship without receiving a de-
cent and friendly answer. With
men it has often been otherwise. In
wandering over the barren plains of
inhOspitable Denmark, through
honest Sweden and frozen Lapland,
rude and churlish Finland, unprin-
cipled Russia, and the widespread
regions or the wandering Tartar; if
hungry, dry, cold, wet or sick, the
women have ever been friendly to
me, and uniformly So. And, to add
to this virtue, so worthy the appel
lation of benevolence, their actions
have been performed in so free and
kind a manner that if l was dry, l
drank the sweetest draught, and If
hungry, L ate the cOarseSt mOrsel
with q double relish.
Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1881-03-12
what an osd Farm sr says.

This is the advice of an old man
who has titled the sell for forty
years
/ am an old man, upwards of
three-score years, during two score
of which | have been rich and have
all 1 need; do not owe a dollar ;
have given my children a good ed
ucation, and when / am called away
shall leave them enough to keep the
wolf from the door. My experience
has taught me that
l.. One acre of land, well prepared
and well titled, produced more than
two which received the same
amount of labor used on one.
?. One COW, horse mule, sheep or
hog well fed is more profitable than
two kept on the same amount nee
essary to keep one well.
3. Cne acre of clover or grass is
worth more than two of cotton
where no grass or cotton is raise /.
4. No farmer who buys oats, corn
or wheat, fodder and hay, can keep
the sheriff from the dour to the end.
>. The farmer who never reads
the papers, sneers at boOk-farming
and improvements has Il leaky roof,
poor stock, broken down fences,
and complains of bad seasons"
6. The farmer who is above his
business and entrusts it to another
to manage soon has no business to
attend to.
z. The farmer whose habitual
beverage is cold water is healthier,
weather. and wiser than he who
does not refuse to drink.
Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1881-03-12
A Turkish Joker.

The best known story of the ira
ditional Joe Miller of Turkey is that
of his thrice fooling an assembly OF
true believers out of a sermon by
three successive %jocular replies. The
first time he assembled the pulpit he
said:
sob, true believers, do you know
what l am going to say ?"
They replied:
"No;" whereupon he asked:
"Of what use is IL TO preach to
such ignOramuses ?" and came down
from the pulpit.
The next time, when he asked
the sameq question, they answered /:
eyes, we know ;" whereupon he
said:
"Then it is useless for me to tell
yOu," and came down.
The third time, having taken
counsel together, the congregation
prepared an answer which they
thought would corner their joker
preacher, and said:
"Some of us know and some of us
DON'T" whereupOn he promptly re-
piled:
"Let those who know tell those
who DON'T" and once more came
down.
Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1881-03-12
THE NASHVILLE N N

Those wishing to be supplied with the
freshest secular, religious, political, fnanci-
eign, are advised to subscribe Immediately
forthe Nashville Banner, published daily
and weekly, at % North Cherry street, Nash
vile, Tenn, by the Nashville Banner Pub
fishing Company. It is uneXcelled in enter
prise, independent democratic in politics,
frank and fearless -in'expression, strictly ac-
curate in its reports of local and other mar
kets, and during the pasttyelve months has
been more widely read and received more
substantial proofs o fpublic favor than any
newspaper in Tennessee. h Daily issued
at 3 o'clock d. M, contains thirty-two col
umnS of intelligence, much of it being from
every part of the globe, and furnished by
the Westhrn Association Press, besides the
latest important news from reliable cores
pondents in Washington, New York, Lon
don Paris, and in every place of note in the
state. The Daily is delivered in the towns
within one hundred and fifty miles of Nash
vile, by carriers, for $3.50 per year; $3.50 for
six months, Sl.95 for three months 65c for
one month, and l5c per week; and sent free
OF postage to any address In any part OF the
globe. at the same price. The Weekly, issu-
ed every Thursday, has thirty-slX columns
of choice reading matter, selected with great
care especially for the benefit of the large
and intelligent class among whom it circu-
lates, embracing a vast deal of Information
regarding the farm and the household, with
topics of interest to both seller
and buyer. The literary department receiV-
eS special attention, shorts stories and sketch
es, as well as the best of poetry, being selec-
ted with reference to the tastes of old and
yOung The Weekly is furnished to single
subscribers at one dollar per year, the
CHRONICLE n BANNER at 50. Extra in
ducements offered agents., who viii find it
profitable to extend the circulation of the
paper. Send for specimen copies, which Will
be sent free. AS the sessions of Congress
and the general assembly of Tennessee, t he
Inauguration of a president, h election of
a United States senator from Tennessee and
the struggle for the Congress, will make n
newspaper especially desireble for 1881. The
public are asked to give the BANNER a trial.
Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1881-03-12

THE landlady of a boarding house
having observed that her custom
ers used a great deal of butter on
their boiled eggs, set her wits to
work to prevent the extravaganza.
She gave them eggs slightly boiled,
saying "Why, la, lve got my
egges altogether too soft this morn
ing!" "Never mind, we'll harden
them with butter" said her board
ers. The next morning the eggs
were boiled till AS hard as rocks,
and the landlady said /: "Why, l
declare I've got my eggs altogether
too hard this morning !" "Never
mind, We'll soften them with but
ter" said the boarders. The land
lady Withdrew to regions in the
rear, and for time there vas a
fearful banging about of pots and
kettles in the kitchen.
Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1881-03-12
LITTLE


Soidenhair climbed upon e-randpapa,s
Dear little G~Oldenhair. tired was she.
Al ths oay busy as busy can be-.
Dpin the morning assoon as twas light
with tue birds and butterflies bright.
ABOUT till the coming Of nigfh.
Grandtapa toyed with the curls on her head
"aat has my darling been DOING he
''since She rose with the sun from her bed
pity much,7 answered the sweet little
II can not tell so much things have done,
fAyed with my dolly and feeded my bun.
And then I jumped with my little jump
And I made out Of some water and soap
Bootfnl worlds, mama's castles OF hope.
Then / have readed in my picture book.
And Bella and /. we vent to look,
tortne smooth little stones by the side of
And then | coined home aud eated my tea,
u ljes as tired as tired can be-"
Lower and lower the little head pressed,
Until II had dropped upon g~randpapa's
Dear little G~oldenhair, sweet be thy rest.
We are but children things that we do
Are as sports OF a babe to the Infinite view,
That marks all our weakness, and pities it,
too.
God grant that when night overshadows our
way,
And weshan be called to recount for our
day.
He shall find us as guiltIess as G~oldenhair's
lay,
And y, when aweary, may we be so blest,
And sink like the innocent child to our rest,
And feel ourselves clasped 10 the Infinite
breast.
Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1881-03-12
TEMPERANCE COLUMN
D-oN,TDRTNK To-vTGnr.

left nv mother at the door.
NY sister by her side,
ThelTelasped hands and loving looks,
Forbade their doubts TO hide.
Ileft, and met with comrades CAV.
When the moon brought out her light.
And my loving mother whispered me-.
Don't drink, my boy, tonight
Long years have rolled away since then
My Jetty curls are gray,
But oh those words are in me vet,
And Will not pass away.
] see my mothers loving face
with goodness, radiant light,
And hear words ling in my ears,
"Don't drink, my boy, to-night.r
My mother is now resting sweet
In the graveyard on the hill:
But her kind words come back to nae
And haunt my memory still;
I've often, often passed the cup,
Oh, then my heart was right,
Because / heard the wandering words,
"Don't drink, my boy, tonight"
I've passed down the road Of life,
And soon my race Is run
A mothers warning listened to,
An immortal erown is won.
! oh, mokhers, with our blessed smiles,
LOo on your boy so bright,
And say, AS you alone can say,
Don't drink, my boy, tonight"
These words will prove a warning, when,
In the thorny path Of life,
The boy is in the tempter's wiles,
And warning in the strife.
The words will stop hermorning cup
And revelry at night,
| By whispering back a voice,
"Don't drink, my boy, tonight"
Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1881-03-12

THE Philadelphia North Ameri-
can says Paul BOytOn, the celebra-
ted swimmer and inventor of the
rubber life-preserving suit, is believ-
eel to have fallen a victim in the
war between Peru and Chilli. Last
fall he entered into a contract with
the government OF Peru to superin-
tend a torpedo service TOR Which he
received a munificent remuneration.
Nothing has been heard from him
since Christmas, although previous
TO that time he wrote weekly to an
intimate friend in Philadelphia. In
his last letter he enclosed his will,
and stated that the enemy were adj
vancing, and that he believed he
would not survive the impending
battle. The long silence has filled
his friends with alarm. He is he
lieved to have been killed.
Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1881-03-12
Preaching the Gospel win a


A Methodist minister in New
York has gone into the business of
preaching the gospel of peace by a
crank. An illustrated sermon he
calls his combination of text and
picture, and as humanity has not
lost its taste for the pictorial, even
the unartistic pictorial, he is likely
to draw quite as well as an itinerant
panorama. The mOd1Gs Operdn6 is
this: The divine blessing having
been invoked, the preacher turns
the crank of his machine and where
there was nothing but a white sheet
in a black frame there appears
Lazarus sitting at the steps of
Dives palace. The dogs are there,
and Dives. and Dives supercilious
servants. The minister points them
all out with a long wooden stick,
and then explains the parable. This
having been done effectively, turn
goes the crank. Exit Lazarus and
his sores. Enter somebody else
named i'm the good book. The last
scene of all was, not inappropriate
ly, if the orthodox idea may be fol-
lowed, the burning of the world.
Under the picture were the words,
1.-THE End of the World" Across
the globe were streaks of cloud.
yellow puffs of flame seemed to be
bursting from the globe at irregular
intervals, and beneath it burned a
great fire as though beneath a gil
gantic kettle. "The atmosphere
around this globe when it burns
up" said the preacher, " will be as
infammable as the gas we burn.
The ocean by a slight chemical
change will seethe and roar in COM
bustion, and everything shall be
consumed. When the earth is
burned" he asked, "would any of
the congregation like to be the tares
that then shall be burned p" As a
great moral show this certainly ex-
ceeds Barnum.
Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1881-03-12

A MINER had a wonderful ride in
a tin pan in Colorado. Being at the
top of a mountain, and desiring to
get to the bottom of the valley, he
knew that Al tedious and circuitious
walk of fifteen miles was necessary
by the ordinary route, while the dis
lance straight down the snow-cOver-
ed incline was only three. He had
such a pan as miners use in wash
ing out gold. Squatting. down in
this, away he went, faster and fast
er, until the solder of the vehicle
was melted by friction, and he was
almost insen|ible from lack of
breath. But the trip was quickly
over without any mishap, and the
passenger now declares that he en-
joyed it.
Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1881-03-12
Romantic

Romantic weddings are frequent
enough nowadays; but years age
they might not have been so COM
non. An anecdote is told OF
Dean Swift, who, being Overtaken
by a thunder-shOwer one day, took
shelter under a tree where he found
a party of young girls waiting for
the rain to cease. One young girl
was weeping, and the Dean learned
that she was on the way to church
TO be married to a young man who
was with her. "Never mind, I'll
marry you" said the Dean !; and
took up his prayer-bOOk, and then
and there performed the ceremony E;
and, to make the thing complete,
he tore a leaf from his pOcket-bonk,
and with his pencil wrote and sign
ed a certificate, which he handed to
the bride. 1t was as gollows
Under a tree in stormy weather
married this man and woman together
Let none but Him who rules the thunder
sever this man and woman asunder-
Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1881-03-12
The Nashville American!

This faithful and ~unwavering advocate of
the late National and State elections, as
only an additional incentive TO every sin
cere lover of his country and its institu-
tions, to look more closely than ever, into
the administration of public affairs by the
peoples servants. 1t wilt be the province of
The American to approve right and de-
nounce error as heretofore, and to give the
people such information as will lea them
to correct conclusions The facts it will give
will be without bias, upon which its read
efS can form their own opinions. Time and
the recurrence of popular elections, show
that a very large portion of the voters of the
Union act from the impulse of the moment,
rather than from settled convictions in re-
gard to correct principles of government.
Hence the greater necessity for the use of
public Journals TO ootai juster and more
settled views on governmental questions.
This, The American win endeavor with the
utmost pains, to supply.
The American viii continue the well
known and highly appreciated extensive
volume of general news, Stateand National,
and will strive to deserve what it already
enjoys, the name of being the best news
paper south of the Ohio river, regardless of
politics or location.
THE WEEKLY AMERICAN,
Will b. furnished in future, at the exceed
ingly low price Of Sl.00 per annum; six
months IS cents; three months 40 cents. The
Semi-weekly by mail $40 and the Daily
SO so per annum. Postage paid. No paper
sent by mail unless paid form advance.
Address THE AMERICAN,
jams 81 Nashville, Tenn,
Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1881-03-12
The Best paper! TRY MT
BEAUTIFULLY ILLUSTRATED.
oetA xEAR-
The Scientific American.

The Scientific American is a large First
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Agriculture, Horticulture, the Home, Medi-
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tory Geology, Astronomy. The most valu-
able practical papers, by eminent writers In
all departments Of Science, viii be found in
the Scientific American.
Terms, So 20 per year, 81 00halfyear, which
includes postage Discount TO . Agents.
Single copies, ten cents. Sold by all news
dealers. Remit by postal order TO MUM &
Co, Publishers, 81 Park Row, New York.
PATIENTS In connection with the
Messrs. Mum Q are Solicitors Of Ameri-
can and Foreign Patents, have had IS years
experience, and now rave the largest estab-
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ANY person who has made a new dis
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Laws, Patents, Caveats, Trade-Marks, their
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MUM & CO., 81 Park Row, N. Y.
Branch Office, cor. + q 9TH SITS, Washing
ton, DC. Nov. 20-'S0-tf.