The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1881-01-01
sPooPENDYKE's BURGLARS.

"Say, my dear" calculated Mr.
Spoopendykc, sitting bolt upright il
bed with a sudden jerk +; "say, my dear
wake upl hear burglars in the house. y
"Who -? what burglars - demanded
Mrs. Spoopenkyke, as she proppcd NJ
beside her husband. "Who's in tht
house %
"Hush Quiet, will We? | dom
know which burglar, but lhear some one
moving around"
"Oh, myi What shall we do2" in
quired Mrs. Spoopendyke. 'Let's cover
up our heads
"Why don't you get up and light the
gas1" propounded Mr.. Spoopcndykt
in q aJssse whisper. "S'pozc .you car
see who it is in the dark ? Strike a light
can't YEP Ifye had your way we'd botl
be murdered in bed. Going to light W
before we're killed ?"
"rm afraid" whispered Mrs. Spoop.
endyke, sticking one foot out of bed and
hauling it in as If she had caught fisl,
with it.
"Going to sit there like a shot-tower
and dhave our throats cut ?" interrogated
Mr.. Spoopendyke. "How'm | going
to find 4 burglar without light Find
match and light that measly gas now,
quick -
Mrs. Spoopendyke crawled ont OF bed
and hunted around for skirt.
"What's the matter with you? Can't
you find match? Why don't YOU
move ?" hisscd Mr.. Spoopendykc.
al am As fast as | can," replied hi,
wife, her teeth chattering. "l'm look
ing for PIN"
"Oh you're moving like 4 railroad,
amt you? | never saw anything ny like
You do. All you want is to be done up
in white and blue paper to be scidlitz
powder. What dye want of pin p
Going to stick pin in the burglar p
Why don't you light thar gas ?"
Mrs. Spoopcndykc broke half dozen
matches, and finally got light.
"That's something like it," continued
MIR. Spoopendyke. "Now hand me my
pantaloons.
"You won't go down where they are,
will you3" anxiously inquired Mrs.
Spoopendykc, handing over the gar
ment
Mr.. Spoopendykc vouchsafcd no re-
ply, but donned the habiliments.
"Now, you open the door" said he.
"and go to the head Of the stairs and
ask who's there, while find my stick.
Hurry up, or they'll get away"
Suppose they are there. What'll /
do then p
"Tell 'em Pm coming. Go ask 'em,
will ye? What's the matter with you?"
Mrs. Spoopendyke opened the door
about an inch, squealed "Who's therc?'
slammed the door again, and popped
into bed.
"What ails YEP" demanded her hus-
band. "What Eye think you are, any
way-a conical shot? Get up, can't yc,
and look out. Where's my big stick ?
What have you done with it ? Sent it to
school, haven't ye? Go ont and ask
who's there, will ye, before they come
up and slaughter us.
Once more Mrs. Spoopcndykc ap-
preached the door and tremulously de-
manded what was going on. There
was no response TO her incalculablc re-
lief, and she went to the head of the
stairs.
"See anybody" whispered Mr..
Spoopendyke, looking over herShoulder.
"Who's thercl' squcalcd Mrs. Spoop.
endyke. go right away, because my
husband is here"
"Oh, you've done it !" exclaimed
Mr.. Spoopendyke, he hauled her back
into the room. "Now, how d 'yc s'posc
I'm going to catch EN-? What do you
want to scare 'em away for? What'd
you say anything about me for? Think
this is a nominating convention What
made you leave the house open ? Come
on down with me, and I'll show you
how to lock up"
Down theywent, and careful scrutiny
demonstrated that everything was fast. |"
w don't believe there was anybody
there" said Mrs. Spoopendyke, as they
returned to their chamber.
alt wasn't your fault" reto.ted Mr..
spoopendyke. "lf you'd got up when
l told you and kept your mouth shut,
we'd have got EN-"
"But you said for nc"
"Didn't say anything of the sort I"
howled Mr.. Spoopendyke; "never
mentioned your name. We might have
been killed, the way you went to work.
al think we'd caught them il they'd
been there" said Mrs. Spoopendyke,
taking down her hair and proceeding
to put II up again.
"You'd caught 'em," snecred Mr..
Spoopendyke. "All you want is some
chloride Of lime and your accounts short
to be in penitentiary. Another time
a burglar gets into the house you stay
abed, and don't you wake me up again.
won't have any dod-gasted woman
routing me out this time Of night, ye
hear !"
ayes, DEAR" and Mrs. Spoopendyke
wound her hand in the collar of her
liege lords night shirt and went to sleep,
secure in his protection. -By0ok1R
Eagle.
The OLD SYsTEM.-Thc old appren-