Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1881-09-22
PITH AND POINT.

You will seldom find an attorney at
law-he knows bet, =.
WAS not the milky way one of the first
star routes?
How TO find out what's in name
put it on the back OF note.
y In is Approprias.s to refer TO the spanker
boom when whole PRIMARY school is
whipped for some general misdemeanor.
"SEE here, waiter" said Caulifower.
pushing away his egg-cup in disgust. ~
don't want to count chickens before they
are Matched"
Dr.. PATTERSON, of Scotland, has dis
covered that frogs and toads viii fight.
Well, let EN- fight. We'd rather see them
fight than hear them sing.
THERE are thirty-two c;rcuses in the
country this year. They make terri
bic strain on the peanut crop, but people
must be entertained.
A BROOKLYN man answering a New
York advertisement, "How to win at
poker" received the following reply
Hold four aces or don't poke"
"FRUIT eaten at night is baneful."
This is one of those wise axioms proved
to be true by Adam. His trouble was
caused by eating an apple after Eve.
PERFECTLY safe-'.I always" said
the wife of French editor, "lil1e to
know that my husband is fightinga duel.
Then | feel that he is perfectly safe from
harm"
A MINISTER had preached an hour;
then he remarked: "Another wide field
opens from the subject in another direc-
tion." just then an old colored saint
calculated: please, Lord, shut up do
bars"
THE difference between pigs and pu-
gilists is not so very great The latter
peel for the fight, while the former fight
for the peel. -Phitadelohia Bullot,pa.
Yes, and one sometimes gets "A ring
punched in his nose, and the other gets
his nose punched in ring. Boston
Bulletin.
1--WE been TO Mrs. Tittletattle," said
Mrs. Telltale, land the way she ran on
about you was perfectly scandalous."
I" So she has been talking about me, has
she ~ asked Mrs. Brown, quietly.
Yes, indeed, she has, said Mrs Tell
tale, with emphasis. "What nice
time you two must have had, said Mrs.
Brown, with sweet smile.
"AH, my love, what love of love.
ly new costume you have on!" "Do
you think so, lovey?' eyes, my love,
and I'm real glad" I" Are you really?
You are so kind" "Yec dearest. was
beginning to feel sorry for you, after
you'd worn that old black SILK three
years and turned it twice"
CONE hither, womankind, and sl their worth
Give me thy kisses as call them forth;
Give me thy billing kiss, that OF the dove
hiss Of Love.
The Melting Kiss that doth consume
To a perfume;
The extract Kiss. of every sweet part
KISS az Art;
The Kiss which ever stirs some new delight,
Kiss of Might:
The twacking, smacking Kiss, aud when you cease,
A Kiss Of Peace.
The Music Kiss, crotchet aud quayer time:
The Kiss Of Rhyme;
The Kiss Of Eioquenoe, which doth belong
Unto the tongue:
The kiss of all the sciences one,
The Kiss alule.
SO! lis enough!
From he earlier poems n Joseph Medi1
THE Chicago Times says: "The
work on the residence Of Mr.. w. Il.
Storey, on Grand boulevard and Forty
third street, IS progressing. Considera-
ole improvements have been made. II
has been determined to make the build
ing uncomfortable. Mr.. Storey has
evidently got an idea that he can take
his residence with him when he dies.
"MY 'sperience in dis life has taught
medal de man who swaps mules wild his
eyes shut am sartin to git dc wust oh it.
Brudderly feelin goes good way in
case of sickness or want or death. but il
seldom reaches down 10 hoss-trade. If
/ we're buyin' a mHle Of man had
knowed all my Sfe, ] should begin at
the hoofs and look dat animile oher car
up to de point of his nose. ] shouldn't
'spect him to tell me lat lie had filed
down any teef or pnttied ober any hoof
cracks. My advice am not to lie or 81
ceive IN tradin mules, hut to answer az
few quesshuns as you kin an seem sort :
o keerless whedder your offer am 'cvpted
or not. '--Detco1 Free Press.
ASTRONOMY is a beautiful science. We
are told that if railway was run from
the earth to the nearest fixed star. and
the fare vas penny for every 100 miles,
and If you took mass of gold to the
ticket Office equal to the national debt
81, 500, 600, 0G0-it woald not be suAi-
cient to pay for ticket to the nearest
fixed star aforesaid. Ii this be the case
il matters very little 10 as whether such
a railroad is ever constructed 1t would
be mighty diseouraging 20 60 to the
ticket Office with mass Of gold equal to
81, 800, 900, 900 and be informed that the
fare was $5,67S, 032, 900. If the ticket
agent wouldn't trust until we got back
we'd be compelled TO forego the trip.