South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1881-08-19

arm of an old coat with hay, placed
1T around her waist and sat near a win
dow in the soft twilight of q sweet
June Sunday evening. The other
girls in the neighborhood are dying
with envy.
Caught in the act: Clara: %, Char
ley, you naughty boy! / saw you
throw your cigar away just rs I cam e
around the corner Charley: why
didn't you say you wanted it +? How
was l to know
No prettier compliment can he Civ
en- than that which comes from the
warm heart and quick wit of the true
Hibernian. Mike was laying pave.
ment brick in the hot sun, and the
lady OF the house mixed up a nice
cool drink and carried it out to quench
his thirst. After long drawn swig
he wiped his mouth on mis- sleeve and
said: Yen be in heaven seven ears
before the divilll find it ont
AT a colored camp meeting at
Creedmore Park, near PHILADELPHIA.
last Sunday, the singers clapped one
another on the back and sang their
loulest:
De gospel train am comm,
A-comin' rom de curve,
A pulfiL' and BLOWN
An a-strainin' ebry nerve.
Git on board, chillen git on board,
Oars room for many mo-.
Come up hyer and git ON de kyesp
u Inh fIn oil
toghorn, but no one came. The OK.
element OF the meeting eliminated
IN the announcement that the dollar
had been raised and cent in addi-
ton.
Sister Patsey, how old is your Ju-
ley Amp asked Rising Sun BROTH
er of colored sister. why, Brother
George as nigh as | ken recollect, she
war born in June par time jest before
Miss Sally Banks wur married.
A Nebraska preacher stopped his
sermon to give baby achance to cry,
and the young one spread himself
with such vigor that he burst blood
vessel.
A fashion writer says short dresses
are in the ascendant. From this we
suppose that thay are going up and
soon will be worn at the top of tele-
graph poles.
A Lynchburg colored woman fell
thirty feet ont of a third story, striking
the ground head foremost. They are
filling up the hole. She wasn't hurt
any.
AS mother was arraying her suual-
ling infant III its richest robes it's lit
tie brother exclaimed If here amt n
fancy dress baNlr
A medical journal says in case of
sunstroke keep ice on the head, and a
small boy says for the old mans
stroke keep your trowsers well pad.
ded.
Miss Tack has just been married in
Chicago. If for any cause her hus-
band should ever sit down on her
he will probably get right up again.
Don't know anything about the en- :
durable collars of the good old times.
but We have very vivid recollections
of the substantial cuffs we used to get
During trial for assault in Arkan-
sas club, a rock, rail, an axe han
die, knife ana shot gun were ex-
hiblted as the instruments with which
the deed was done. 1t was also shown
that the assaulted man defended him
sell with revolver, n scythe, pitch
fork, chssel, hand saw, fail and
q cross dog. Then the jury decided
that they would have given five dol.
lars apiece to have seen the fight.
Mr.. Parton says that curious cir.
cumstanco occurred many years ago
when testator in England left two
thousand pounds TO a friend. but with
the condition that one-haIf the sun
should be buried with him in his cot.
fin. The Iegatee took advice on thi.
matter Where is the money now /?
asked his friend. In the bank, was
the reply. 'All right said the advi
ser: write check for thousand
pounds, and put it into the old gentle
mans coffin, payable to his order.
A young man in Illinois was SC
badly stung by colony of bees that
he couldn't get married at the time
agreed upon. lie had taste of hi.
honeymoon in advance.
DR.. Louis, of New Orleans. who !.
something Of wag, called Oh a col.
ored minister and propounded few
puzzling questions why is it.. said
he, that YOU are not able TO do the
miracles that the apostles did? They
were protected against all posons and
all kinds Of perils; how is it that You
are not protected in the same way {?
The colored brother responded
promptly, Don't know about that
doctor | s'pect ] Is; I've taken a
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