The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1881-05-12
QartEtn.
VARIETY SCRAPS.

A matter Of coHrse-A horse race,
A cruel relatiVe-An akin tooth.
Better than gold-unlimited credit.
Can the mill-wright Its own nameH
Gruf pilots are known au stere men,
Time that can't be beat-Old Father Time,
1.-THE good alone are great" it's hard to be
crater.
During the recent cold weather how did the
bees warm2
We are not what we seam, as the sewing ma.
chine said to the needle.
In life as in our bank accounts, any over drafts
is sure to be protested
A man may always be right, yet in going for
the train he may be left
Why cannot we solve the problem Of lIfe3 Be.
cause we all nave to give it up,
Don'tjadge mans character by the umbrella
he carries 1t may not be his.
When New York young man pops the uues
tion he now Gays: Lets consolidate"
How did you find my uncle, JohnnyYp I'm
apple'pie order" "Hows THAR" "Crusly."
The proper remedy for young lady who is
short OF Stature s to get spced as soon as possible
nm sitting on the style Mary" as the fellow
said when he cool.y sat down on his sweethearts
new bonnet.
thousands Of people who never read the Bible
In Its old form are kicking up fuss abou. Its
being revised.
A weather prophet is a seer, therefore every
young man is prophet, because they profit by
the weather and see her.
Let every man sweep the snow from before his
own door, and not busy himself about the frost
on his neIghbor's tiles
PolitenesS costs nothing, and that is one reason
why so many young people besOw nothing else
on their chance acquaintances.
Brigham Young acquired the title Of general
from having been called "Briggy-dear" so often
by his numerous wives
citizen Of Brooklyn has been fined $3.50 for
hitting an alderman Oh the mouth. Big price
but you ought to see the mouth
1t is sometimes pretty hard to decide which
gives us more pleasure-to hear ourselves praised
or to hear our neighbors run down.
fur speculator who has bought at a good
price and the price has unCeremoniously de.
clined is in fur strait mood for swearing.
Neuralgia" is the charming name borne by a
charming girl Her fond mother found it on
medicine bottle, and was Caphvated with Its
| sweetness.
Prosperity shines on different persons much
the same way that the sun shines on different OBJ.
jeCts, Some it hardens like mud, while others It
softens like wax,
He was making considerable noise rehearsing
his part OF othello, when dog sienced him by
his bowling, Thus the star actor became a cur.
hushed tragedisn.
"Gem'len," said the old man. remember 1t am
not safe to form an opinyun on stranger by the
| size Of his mouf. No persun can tell the number
of.mules In barn by looking at the stable door
II a poor merchant should marry an extrava.
giant girl, would his bookkeeper2 II she should
neglect to sew on her buttons, would her dress.
makerP And, II she would refuse to put on her
own Clothes would her hairdresserH
The world should give us our daily bread fol
the world doughs us a living. Whitehall Times
Krect, and If some people would dough" little
work and not "loar around so much they would
find no trouble in getting their daily bread
An Irish lRborer In coal yard struck for high
er wages, and was discharged. "Well,' said he
II have learned something from the boss while ]
worked for him that didn't know before, and
that is that a ton is LOO pounds"
The story is told OF Willlamsport young mar
who went to the Black Hills 10 seek his fortune
and wrote back to his father that he had done
we'll, but added: II will be at home on Wednea
day evening" Meet me at dark, just out Of town
and bring blanket or whole pair Of trouler
with you. have hat"
The child Of very fashionable family wal
sick, and the Colored Servantwas sent to the drul
store with prescription, III the child Canno
keep the Hrst powder on lie stomach you mus
give 1t another one," remarked the clerk as hC
pasted on the label "You don't reckon Wo would
give him the same powder ober agin, does yer
We amt no poor folks we amt" #.
A citizen said to the young man who visited hi
daughter that he couldn't afford To have 80 much
coal burned In the psrlor stove evenings; the
young man must come less often or quit earlier
or furnish his own coal. Next day two tons Of
coal were purchased by the young man. and
thrown into the oitizen's yard, with big sign
over the pile reading, "For use nights only" !"
That young man means business.
The train had run into mow.drlft, and the
engine was buttlng ita head in vain against six
foot bank. ....
"For once the iron horse appears to be beaten, u
remarked q fat woman near the center Of the car
"You shouldn't call It an Iron horse !" mildly
reproved q solemn man across the aisle.
"Why not7" asked the fat woman In some sur
prise.
Because it's block tin" softly murmured the
solemn.iaced man. as he gaSed out Of the window
and across the wlntry waste with q far'a.way
look IL his eye.
The fat woman gasped, while the conductor
was astonished to such degree that he went out
Of the car without slammlng the door.
Maid OF Gotham, ere leave,
Brush the powder from my sleeve
Yes, since 1t has left thy cheek,
Brush It off, and hear me speak,
Hear me speak before go: