Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1881-03-26
The ways OF Wash 20.
Gfrcm LipplncOtt.l


To Lazy Chinamau as to q PHILOSOPHER. every.
thing is matter for marvel Els lite Is won
dered away by the hour. He picks up 6. piece
or scrap iron In the street and lirst be won 1nrs
Tor an hotir what IL has been used tof and then
lie sleel!a.es for sixty minutes concerning some
possible use to which he may turn It. You step
Into the post office 20 mail letter: he folio -
sou, Wondering what you are going for; you bay
a stamp, he counts the change and estimates
the cost; you lick It, he isamazed at the process:
you Slide the letter into the box, he catches a
last glimpse OF the vignette on the starau
nolices a mans head with attachment Of pig.
TAI, ard ne goes out and sits down on the ex-
IRENE edge or the sidewalk and stares at moth
Ing, While he wonders If that man was Confu.
Like the proyerblal country bow who has
never left bis home, the Chinanan is gawky
ana ungTaceful In the extreme but never was
mere nook-agent, one OF that class Of men
Who trsV ehe so much that had more Of cool
more than audacious at times-it IS insolen t.
should you stop In the street to exchange
Word OF courtesy with a lady acquaintance
Wncm you meet, John loaf5 along his sloyenly
s ippers Tapping at his heels, and suddenly
your coat becomes matter OF mighty import
TO him. SO. IN his innocent fmperttnenca he
walks around you and stares, studying it as II
nearer to examine the fabric, he does not hest.
tate to take the fabric In bis hands, pressing IL
TO bis palm Or his cheek-of which he has
nature OF its texture. Now such hangers-on
are not pleasant to have. albeit they are OF
CELESTIAL origin, as they boast; the Chtnaman is
very good cook, but he is not handsome
enough to play the valet or footman, to hold
up ones skirts in the street.
once an old and toothless child OF the sun
entered our camp and inquired .Who bossee
here:" 1t being supposed that he had yege.
tables TO sell, he was referred to the tent OF the
gentleman In question. This he invaded,
sldie a. up to the occupant, slapped him coa-
y1vialty on the shoulder, and sa1d You bossee
here: Bully! Shake hand,' Ard, having paid
his respects In this informal manner, he seemed
to have no further communication to make,
which task promised to occupy him the rest OF
the day. Thinking to entertain our hlgh-porp
guest, our musical man sang him the song be-.
ginnlng-and, 1t Is to be hoped. ending also
with the following lines:
Pretty little Chnawoman cook little chow. chow.
, Live beside nttls hiu. in a little house
Ts Goit little pussy,cat and little boTwow.
What do you think OF that, John?"
Heap crazy nan - was The disdainful and
ieconle rebuke with which the heather crushed
our minstrel.
These men are certainly OF the lowest aud
most ignorant grade at home. and yet there
are few laundryw oTkeTs OF other nationali
ties-Irish, German or C0lored-Yho can handle
the pen as easily as they WELD the brush
Take your weeks linen TO one OF these houses
and Immediately one OF the inmates seats dim
self at the desk, dips The brush into the moist
ened surface or cake OF ink, and with many q
GdSu aLU al tl5tlC sloke, every one OF whose
curves is a line OF beauty. he makes out a mem
oraDSum OF the articles consigned to his care
IHese wash lists, looking 30 like the LABELS
OF our packages OF utecFdckerS. are greatly IL
demand, ana are carried away as souvenirs o.
tiaYCl III Chinatown. Absent fathers sent
Item home To tbeir children; humorous stu
dents Oh summer EaClfiCQ c0lstgn them 60
tEetE o4G professors. cAi!i.g them los: manu-
scripts oil great arena J!ogicsi a;0fG0; ana once
lr'1e was az laiui.c;1u5 lover vino seat on.
home IL jttI sweetheart.
l. was Ill this way. He WIS a practical j5ker.
and. having Ole Ut these l2uGCry documents l.!
his pos Sc son, he thought na you'd have sDl.-
Ipn- ~ ne 2prinsl10 the d1ilGate paper Wit.
a"eeb essences and add G5s2u it to his heart
o"ii win This he Dispatched 3 letter l..
Which he said that the Enclosed was Cliges.
maGfigTai. written al his in.ligati0a expressly.
Tor Ger by one or tie greatest OF Chtna'S pcctEi
and, further. thai il was 30 be read to SLOW.
music from the gentle t0mSoIn, With al &C.
caSiona Il passionate outbuTst from the gong.
The lacy, devoured with anxiety to learn the
sweet words OF this mystical message, for
Tafded 1t to translator who returned answer
cGuched IN all the cold precision OF business,
that The Writing certified that this gentleman,
the practical joker, had deposited With Mr..
nesn 10, WaShermau, one shirt, Two collars
one PAIR or nose, ct al, and that the same were
TO &c duly cleansed, ironed and ready for re
Turn on Sucn day. IL Is said that the LADY,
reply TO this practical joker was read Witnou;
the assistance CT translator, and the tune &c
which he read 1t was a dlrge over a lost love
THIS faoie teaches US that 1t is we'll to reserve
cnes practical jokes On ones sweetheart I'll