The Sunday herald. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1866-1887, 1881-01-02
THE LIVING OBELISK.
Strange News from hartford About
Mark TWniu.

HARTFORD, Dec. 2G.-Under ordinary cir
cumstance II would no doubt he judicous to with
hold from the public the Information which am
about to communicate, lint as exaggerated accounts
OF Mr. Mark Twain's present condition are already
In circulation here In town, and these false reports
are likely. sooner or later, to REACH the Of the
hnmorlst's friends ~ other ln'.s os the country,
warrant It seems best to publish an accurate and
authentic statement OF the ease.
II Is well known that Mr.. Clements Is subject to
protfacted spells Of profound melancholy usually
eliminating In hallncnations Of the most bizarre
character. After of these attacks he was seized
with a sudden ana nnacconnable but intense hatred
for bust OF Calvin, presented to Mrs. Clemens on
her wedding day by her uncle, a clergyman. Marx
Twain iancied that this harmless Image meant to do
him evil; and after heaping contnmey on his foe by
dshguiing the plaster face With linked mustachos and
goatee, he at last put an end TO the imaginary feud
and to tile bust by demollshing II with poker. At
another time Twain believed himself to he the real
editor OF Gen. Joe Iiawleys newspaper the Courdnt,
and his Illusion led to some complications that would
have been amusing II they had not been serious.
Again. II Is said he tried TO take up collection along
the middle aisle Of the Rev. Joe Twtche's church,
at the moment fancying himself deacon. by similar
Illusions ne mas been lei al times TO aienpt an active
Although aware that ever since his speech at Tie
Grant reception Mr.. Clemens has been suffering from
meanchoia, did not know until this morning what
form the attack had taken. met Mr. -, COM
mon friend OF mine, and Clenenss in front
ateyY s WI he Ss asted nv @ saiG T " anytnins
the nalierf'' :. Wen, you had better go up and
right forennger.
| 80 proceeded through the damp, chilly air and
slushy mud OF Christmas morning 10 Twaln's bright
| red mansion and rang the door bell. Was MIR.
| Clemens at home No, not exactly. That was Ia
| say. he wasn't In the house; might find him yondeI
In the north yard, behind the barn. turned np the
bottom OF my trousers, and trndged through the mud
and snow 10 the place Indicated by the domestic.
There discovered the humorist standing on an
| empty dry goods box. His posture was very erect.
Ills arms were tightly pressed against his sides. lie
wore long ulster reaching to his ankles aud on his
head high peaked hat, procured during his travels
In the TyIol, His face was solemn.
''Iello. Mark, said 1; ''wliat are you doing on
| that boxp Mefty Christmas -
lie stiiy Inclined his head. 'Didp't you know. -
| he deaaiuon. IN slow, grave tone, ''tiat ante-
date the Christian era BY many centuries? What
in thunder do you mean by talking Christmas In my
| presenceyH
"come. come, - said l, emo Joking. Get down
! on the box and go In where it's warln.
ilf you ioier 10 tne pedestal " he replied - I
can't get down unless I'm lowered. Aud as 10 thl
temperature It has little elect on ,nopoil seasoned
| as am seasoned' -
.'ifon lcck llke mopollila, " Iaamlued, ''in lha
nlsie, and that bat -
| "fou really thlut sof'' no eagerly asked. III
features relaxed 10 al oxpft sson something Ike
paceney, and he sat down upon the edge Of the bon
and began TO drum against che side With his hvels