Centre Democrat. [volume] (Bellefonte, Pa.) 1848-1989, 1881-07-07
How Chlnaman Rides Bronco, and
the Sad Results.
Prom Bnl sye's Boornrang

the Sad Results.
From Bli sye's Boonrang
When Chinaman does most any.
thing IN his own peculiar Oriental style
| IL - pretty apt TO attract attention but
when he gets on "A bucking broncho
with the cheerful assurance Of man
who understands his business and has
been conversant with the ways Of the
| broncho for over two thousand years.
the great surging mass Of humanity
ceases TO surge, and stands with bated
breath and watches the exhibition with
unfiagging interest.
A Chinaman does not grab the bit of
| the broncho and yank it around until
| the noble steed can see thirteen new
| and peculiar kinds Of fireworks, or kick
him in the stomach and knock his ribs
loose or swears nt him till the armament
gets loose and begins to roll together
/ like scroll, but he does his hair up in
an Oriental wad behind and jabs Il big
! hairpin into It and smiles, and ssys
something like what Il Guinea hen
would say If she got excited and tried
to report one Of Bjoernstjerne Bioern.
sons poems backward in his native
| tongue.
Then he gets on the wrong side and
slides into the saddle, making a re.
mark as though something inside Of
! him had broken loose, and the grand
difficulty begins.
/ At first the broncho seems surprised
and temporarily ratified intellectually,
and he stands idly in the glad sunlight
and allows his mental equilibrium TO
wobble back into the place while the
/ Chinaman makes some observations
that sound like the distant melody Of a
Hancock club going home at 2 o'clock
4. ", and all talking at one and the
same time.
BY and by the hroncho shoots athwart
the sunny sky like a thing of life, and
comes down with all his legs in a clus.
ter like a bunch Of asparagus, and with
"A great deal of force and expression.
This movement throws the China.
mans liver into the northwest corner
Of the thorax aud his upper left hand
duode-simo into the middle Of the
subscqueut week, but he does not com.
plain. He opens HE mouth and breathe
IN all the atmosphere that the rest Of
the universe can spare, and readiusting
I his shirt tail 30 that II will have the
correct inclination toward the horizon
he gently ticklcs the broncho on the
starboRrd quarter with the cork sole OF
his coTpulent shoe. This mirth pro.
yoking movement throws the broncho
into the widest Mysteries, and for TWEEN
~ minutes the spectators don I see any.
thing very distinctly The autumn
nj oh =. ls. nA tsl.
blonde broncho, and the softened haze
Of October seems fraught with pale
blue shirt tail and disturbed Chinaman,
moving in an irregular orbit, and occA.
sionally throwing off meteoric articles
Of apparel and pre- historic chunks of
igneous profanity Of the vintage Of
Coniucius. marked =. &. 1860.
When the sky clears up a little the
! IChnamsn's hair has come down and
hangs in wild profusion about his olive
features. The hem Of his shirt flap is
seen to be very much frayed, like an
American flag that has snapped in the
breeze for thirteen weeks lie finds
also that he has telescoped his spinal
column and iammed two ribs through
the right superior duplex. and he has
two or three vertebrs floating about
through his system that he don't know
what to do with. The casual observer
can see that the Chinaman is a robust
ruin, while the bronoho is still in a
good state Of preservation.
But the closing scene is still TO come.
The broncho summons all his latent
energy, and, humping his back up into
the exhiiarating atmosphere, he shoots
forward with great eArnestness and the
most reckless abandon, and when he
once more bisects the eArth's orbit and
iabs his feet into the trembling earth
a shapeless mass OF brocaded silk, and
coarse black hair, and taper nails, and
Celestial shirt tail, and Oolong profan.
ity, and disorganized Chinese remains,
and shattered Oriental shirt destroyer,
comes down apparently from the New
f. Jerusalem, and the Coroner goes out on
the street to get six good men and a
chemist, and they analyze the collec.
! tion.
They report that deceased came to
his death by reason of conclusion sup.
posed to have been induced by his fall
from the outer bAttlements Of the
sweet by.and by.