The Elk Mountain pilot., 1881-04-14
THE UP GUZCH SHORTER.

THE UP GULCH SHORTER.
"Tm an editor myself" said he, as
he planted his feet on the Brooklyn
Eagle editors desk and lit that func-
tuary's pipe. ~ throw ink on the
Up Gulch Shorter at Deadwood, and
you bet make some reading matter
for the boys. Get the Shorter on ex-
change here p
II think not, replied the editor.
"Don't know that l ever heard of it. ("
You amt been long in the bust
ness, have you?'' asked the stranger
quickly. 'tYou don't seem to be up
in the literature OF the day. That
Shorter throws more influence 10 the
square foot than all the papers in
Deadwood. Let me show you the
style of that periodical, and he drew
a file of back numbers out of his
pocket. See them advertisements !?
All cash. Meeting of county board;
fist fight in the common council );
mine caved in on nineteen men four
women lynched mayor of the town
convicted of burglary; raid by In
dians-all live news items. See the
editorial? This is what l say about the
Rapid City Enterprise: The dis
tlnguished consideration in which we
hold the three-ply jackass who edits
our noxlous contemporary is onlJ
equaled by the rapidity with which
the tumble bugs will roll him out of
town in the spring Spicey, eh? You
bet There's some poetry. Wrote it
myself. Made it up out of my head.
How's this?
The radicals have nominated
That lousy, drunken, diSipted
Cock-eyed horse-thief, Jim McFadden,
Our candidate is Fatter Madder.
And we selected him, too, for old
stock We go in for poetry out our.
way, from way back"
"We don't do it in lust that way
here, said the Eagle editor, with
smile, !" Our fo,ks-''
"That's. where you're of. You
haven't educated your peeoh ,,a tn
high taste. Where l live they are cul-
tured clear to thereof Here's my re-
marks about the editor of the Vermil-
lion Repeater, when he wanted to
split the territory: 'We don't want
to reflect on the press, but we are
compelled to say that the editor of the
Repeater has stolen government mules
SO long for a living that he begins to
flatter himself that he, too, is id,
ASST That busted his business
"But don't the other editors ever
pitch into you?" asked the Eagle
man, rather astonished at this revela-
ton in journalism
4' You bet, pardnel Then we get
back in this way. This is some poetry
on the Fargo News man for saying |
learned to read and write in the Wis
consin penitentiary. Listen to this
There Is an old clam up in Fargo
Who buys all lis rum by the cargo;
He gets drunk and spues,
And calls it the News,
And then the whole gang to the bar co.
haven't heard from him since.
but he'll get around to me by and by.
Here's little criticism on our opera
house, that was regarded very highly
when 1t was pupped: Manager
whitney IS giving hlgh=toneder per-
formance than our citizens have a right
to expect for two bits. He has en-
gagged the beautiful Gambetta for two
weeks, and for high artistic kicking
she has no peereS. Her standing jump
shows careful thought and study, and
her toe whirls are unprecedented in
the history of the ballot. Mr.. Whit
ney has shored up the east end of his
minstrel troupe with the justly cele-
brated Patsey Maginnis, the best
bones of modern eras. We are sorry
to chronicle row at this Thespian
virtue last night. and we recommend