Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1881-08-04
IN A NUTSHELL.

This country consumes 1850 bar
rels of kerosene oil every night.
False fronts of shirt, vest, and coat
are now furnished corpses by the New
York undertakers for $40. Fancy the
feelings of man who goes to heaven
in such costume AS that-E{mird
Free Press.
A little daughter of Mr. VIM. H.
Seward was baptized last week at
Auburn with water which was brought
from the river Jordan by Secretary
Steward many years ago.
Peculiarly Of ice. A ten-pound
lump of ice is smaller now than at any
other time of the year. 1t is just big
enough to run away if left on the side
walk. -Neu Orleans Picdgune.
An Ohio joke: A young man in this
city, short time ago, proposed to a
lady several years his senior, and for
an answer she said: 81 guess | don't
want to take boy to raise" The
young man isnow raising a moustache.
Youngstown (O.) Ne,cs.
No one of Queen Nictoria's daugh-
tiers has ever mixed in general society
so much as the Princess Louise this
season. She drives out with the fire.
quency of regular diner out, presum-
ably for her health's sake.
Midsummer conundrum johnson:
"Smith, what kind ola beast would you
prefer to be if you had to be one?"
Smith: "Well, just Ut this time of year
| think I'd rather be little bare. -
H..
A New York girl went to Europe as
Miss Nina French awhile ago. This
summer she returns as Madame the
Countess Suzannet, and vii! haunt her
coronet in the face and eyes of Ameri-
can girls at Newport for the season.
Only three members of parliament
are still in the house who were "dis-
solved" when William w. died-Mr
Christopher Talbot, Mr.. c. p. Villiers,
and Mr.. Gladstone. The queen has
the advantage of them all IN age and
in the promise of a long life.
The last state ball in London termin-
ated In gallop entirely in honor of
the Americans present. who had ex-
pressed their longing for something
more lively" 1t is thought that the
fashion thus set will be followed at pri-
vate balls during the rest of Ae season
An Illinois Judge has decided that a
merchants warrant is worthless. If
he warrants goods to wash and wear,
customers must accept such state
ments as part of his stock in trade" In
other words, he is expected to lie, and
they are expected to know he is lying.
Undue levity.--It is reported that
Anna Dickinson entered store the
other day and asked for a pair of stock
ings, whereupon the clerk, not hearing
plainly, inquired: "Hose, Anna?" and
the ministerial looking man at the
other counter said "Amen."-N City
Derrick.
A gentleman who has great dread
of being burned alive, had his man
servant recently exercised in fire
brigade drill. Wishing to know what
progress the student had made, he said
the other day to him. "Now, Thomas
what would be the first thing you
would do, if you woke up in the night
and found the house on fire." 'Do,
sir! get outside as quick as l could"
Cremation is no longer popular, l
see," remarked Job Shuttle this morn
ing. "WeI, | sh'd hope not. It's bad
enough to think of your soul burning
up, let alone the body" "Mrs. Shut
tie, | wish you wouldn't accent the
word your and look at me so sharp
~" And the meal was finished in ST.
lence.-New Haren Register.
In Des Moines, the other day, an I'M
ruly steer scared a housewife nearly
into fits by jumping through kitchen
window, kicking over stove, breaking
down a table, upsetting pan of milk,
and then rushing into the dining room
and shattering mirror before it
plunged out door into the street
An eagle, with brass chain around
It's neck, suspending little tin box in
closing slip of paper on which was
written ia Danish, Caught and set free
again III 1892, by n and G. Andersen
Boetod, in Falster, Denmark" was shot
on April Is at Nakkoo, in the island of
LaplaDd.
The Rev. Henry Knight, of Clifton
Kan, knocked down man who ex-
pressed hope that the president would
not recover. An eyewitness estimated
the weight Of the blow at 10 900 pounds.
A church tribunal will determine the
gravity of the offense
Ingenious little Billy Ryland con-
structed a jack-in -the-box, with figure
OF unexampled hideousness, with which
to amuse his mother, in Sacramento.
he sprung 1t on her when she did not
eXpPCt ANYTHING, If tho lind and Ii q