Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1881-02-12
HOW TO OPEN 4 DOOR.
why MI. and Mrs. slater did NOS 20
Ia the OperA.

why Mr.. and Mrs. slater did nos 20
10 the Opera
There has been two or three days OF damp
weather, and Mrs Slater had complained TO
her worthy spouse that 1.-The doors Ia the house
| stuck exasperatiDgly whenever she tried to
| open them, and requested that o professional
| IL the use OF the saw and plane be called In at
| once to remedy the evil
1.-THE house is new slater said, land these
! little things must be expected. In few days
! the doors Will work all right again, and car
| penterB Dill be saved. Practice little patience,
my dear he added; you know YOU are very
quick tempered, and IL anything does not work
Just as you wish 1t at the first attempt, you
| be come perfectly unreasonable
MIS- Slater cast at her lord one whitening
| glance Of scOrn. but said never word. There
| was peculiar set to her lips which seemed TO
| say: wait, oh, man, until you try one or
those doors. and then we'll see where the
They were to go to the opera next evening.
| and Slater sat reading his paper In the sitting
| room, while his wife was arraying herself in all
her best fnery In the bed chamber up stairs.
| Slater. man like, was "all ready, with the ex-
ception Of putting on his hat and gloves.'
At last Mrs Slater was ready, and proceeded
| toward the door to 60 down stairs. She took
| hold OF the knob. turned 1t, and pulled; but the
| door stuck tight at the top. and would only
| open little way at the bottom, to spring back
| shut when she ceased 10 pull at it. Then she
| thought OF her husbands advice ''have a little
| patience SO she pulled at 1t gently, but the
aoor only kept up its old trick ofopening an inch
1
eaSed up.
| Now, ain't this too mean Sue exclaimed,
ard then, happening to glance at the Clock
OF the knob fiercely and gave il sudden.
| very strong pull. Rip went her new ''old
gold kl0 glove down the back; but the door
| murder In her heart as she took hold OF the
| knob with both hands and braced herself for
business. She pulled with all her might, and
the door gave a little and then sprung back
| with such force that 1t brought her up on tip
| toes. This was repeated several times With
| each attempt the good lady became reddeT In
| Finally. as she threw her whole strength into
| the effort, the door suddenly swung osen with
| her, with SO much force that she fell back over
a. chair ana stood on her head In her new duck
| or bonnet, which she had intended should
| have been the cy nosure OF all female eyes On
| that eventful evening
Slater was startled In the midst of an article
on the reorganization OF the party by a crash
overhead and a series OF shIieks that proclaimed
either burglar. lire, ora mouse Rushing
upstairs, three steps at time and In through
The open door, he was met by the sight OF a
pair OF colored stockings wildly waving through
Inc air. From beneath this most appalling
Vision Vision came The shrieks. For moment
Homent III became apparent TO him that an
important member OF his household was In
Iced of immediate reversal as to her under
standing. Without ado he fastened to the
rescue, and soon Mrs. Slater was seated la
the chair which had played such an TN
portant part In her discontinue Between her
sobs she at last related the catastrophe which
mad happened. AT the end OF few sentences
OF sy mn athy Slater, foolish man, could not re.
sist the Opportunity 10 say: "My dear, this only
goes TO demonstrate the truth of what told
you only yesterday about these very doors
Had you but shown little patience this would
not nave happened" "Oh! you BRUTE" she
cried, as the sobs again became violent: II
would just like TO see some OF your patience
exhibited IN opening that door,
MY dear. you shall, the insane man replied
as he proceeded to close the cause OF the trou-
bic. Having accomplished this part of the pro-
gramme he turned to Mrs. Slater TO say: "a
door that sticks should always be firmly taken
hold OF thus and, then. with quick, strong
pull, open Ii comes; saying which he gave a
quick, strong pull, and the door opened Just
few inches ar the bottom, and sprang shut with
such force that it brought siaters mead up
against IT with bang that could be heard all
over the house and drove his nose SO far back
INTO his head that he could hardly shut his
mouth.
"Oh. you won't eh - he Kissed when he re-
covered DIS breath; well see II you won't,
my beauty
Then he gave pull that would nave decided
tug OF war for the championship his hands
slipped OFF the knob and he turned a back SOM
ersault that would have secured him an en-
gagement In the best circus going, and brought
up against the centre table with the back OF
bis head Ia a way that made the stars dance all
around him.
He lay thus for moment, seemingly en-
dcavorng to make up his mind lust here h.,
was; the while Mrs. Slater WAS Watching him
Ia Il dazed sort OF way.
lie rose TO his feet and with 4 Wild look IN
his eyes and certain unsteadness about his
gait once more approached the enemy. This
tiIne he took the precaution to carefully wipe
The perspiratlon from his hands. He laid hold
OF The fatal knob. He planted his feet
HTmly about eighteen incnes from the door,
and thea first Strengthening up he brought
his body into the shape OF letter
as he gave q pull that would have shamei "a
CarhO,se. Tie door came open as though
the top OF Skaters bald head with a crash thar.
n addition To the momentum he had htainpi
Ds his pull sent him into the Lap OF Mra
Slater. and carried herself and the chair over
With him into one vast wreck IN the corner.
AS the pOulticeS were being applied to his
head and nose later IN the evening Slater was
nealo 10 remark that "a woman always waS IN
the ay When man tried TO open door"