The National tribune., 1881-08-20
THE TABLES TURNED.

/ y cOmnunlStlc person luentlfled with the dam
gerous classes of the COmstOck and notorious for
his disregard of truth and contempt for vested
rights has just returned from visit to San Fran
cisco This morning he endangered the good
name of the Chronicle by entering its editorial
rooms The nihist declared that he had :" Il good
thing on Stanford and Steve Gage" but he sup
posed the Chronicle like the rest of the corrupt and
time-serving press, would be afraid to publish it.
| "Tell your story" said the editor with dignity,
gazing inquiringly at the boot of the socialist,
which was resting upon the editorial table. The
boot remained there however, while the following
ridiculous narrative was delivered:
Its fine weather at the bay, and everybody wh8
can afford it takes spin occasionally out of the
dust and heat. Last Saturday Stanford and Gage
were walking along Kearney street, and when they
got to the corner of Bush the Governor took off
his hat, wiped his brow, and remarked:
"Steve, it's too hot for anything What do you
say to a breath of fresh ar?"
"Have time?" inquired Mr.. Gage. pulling
out his watch So did the Governor, who replied:
"There isn't anything very pressing for a couple
of hours, guess, and we may well take spin
out to the park 1t isn't worth while to have out
my horses Let's take a hack, and then we can
/ q
than riding around the drives"
So they got into coupe and were driven out
to Golden Gate Park At the entrance the Gov
ernor and Gage alighted.
whats the fare?" asked the Governor
The driver, a retired prize-fghter replied
"On'y S15, Guv'nur'
What" yelled Stanford and Gage in the same
breath.
Fifteen dollars" repeated cabby, unbuttoning
his coat and splitting on his hands.
"But, my good man." protested the Governor,
"such charge is exorbitant. The law confines
you to a certain price for your services, and you
can be arrested and punished for such violation
of the ordinance"
Hang the law!" growled cabby. "My money
bought and paid for this hack an hosses, an the
essence of ownership is control"
HEM" cOughed the Governor, looking slyly
at Steve, who began to grin "That's all well
enough when applied to my railroads, but-but-
er-now if you charge us SIS to bring us up to
the park, what on earth would you charge to take
take up to the Cliff House?"
Five dollars"
From here?"
"No; from the city"
"But it's twice the distance,"
"Yes, but it's a competitive point; SIS to the
park, s. to the Cliff. No hOggn about it.
Through rate to the Cliff local rate back to park
added ust as you fellows do when you charge
$500 for drawing a carload of stuff from New
York to Frisco, and make it $500 if you drop the
car at ElllO, about 800 miles nearer New York"
1t was Steve's turn to cough and the Governors
to grin.
well" said the Governor with a sigh, "take
us to the Cliff"
At the Cliff House the Governor and Stephen
drank their beer and smoked cigar and listened
to the barking of the seals and filled their lungs
with sea-breeze. Suddenly Steve clapped himself
on the leg and cried out:
by Jove Governor forgot that lot of coal of
Smiths that the sheriff is to sell at o'clock It's
2 now. five miss that chance to save at least
81 900 will be gone"
Good heavens.n cried the Governor snatching
out his watch, "let's hurry back at once. Driver!
Oh, driver"
Here, sir" answered cabby, who had been
leaning over the balcony parapet within earshOt,
here, SIR
1--WE want to return to town Immediately" cried
Mr.. Gage.
"Ya-as, s'pose so" said cabby slowly chewing
all the same to you, gents"
The Governor growled something between his
teeth and rendered So
"'Taint enough" said cabby cOntemptuOuSly.
In heavens name, how far will your extOrtiOn
gO?" snorted the Governor. How much do you
want?"
Five hundred more" calmly replied the hack
"Hey?" shreked Steve and the Governor.
Five hundred, an not cent less" repeated
cabty.
How, sir-er-damme, sir! how do you dare
ask such price for driving two gentlemen four
or five miles?" sputtered the Governor.
Il bases my charge on what the traffic will
bear" replied the hackman with grin. If ta-
ters is sellin' in Los Angeles for so cents bushel
and at So bushel at Tucson, you felers charge
the poor devil of rancher $3.50 a bushel to pack
his taters to Tucson, and gobble all the profit.
Now, [ amt as hOggish that. heered Mr..
Gage say if he could get into town by 3 o'clock
he could make $1,000. AS there amt other
hack here I'm as good monopoly for this wunst
any blasted railroad earth; but amt so
greedy. l don't want all you can make by usin'
my hack. I'm willn to get along with half"
With dismal grOan the Governor and Steve
emptied their pockets and counted out the money.