The Saline County journal. [volume] (Salina, Kan.) 1871-1893, 1881-04-14

Il
~ JOSHUA sHoB1.
Whispering h never aloud
Has taking ways-a thief.
HAlloo 10 what they telephone.
Curious facts are bat simple prsvar-
ications.
Why h It thatwomen don't we-men?
The Black Crook-the pilfsring ne
gro.
A great inn-convenience-a pool
hotel.
Fast men-those In the State Peni
tentary.
IT'S better to live In harmony than
In brick houses.
Fast words are often spoken In slow
measured accents.
What amount Of money did the
potter house steak?
Morning wrappers are very durable
they are never WORKOUT, In fact.
Out on . scfatch-the hen that e..
capped confinement and wandered into
the flower garden.
The hands of Q clock were never
known to strike. They are above the
striking business.
The unhappiest moment in . stub
born mans life Is when he makes o
mistake and pleases some one.
A cold in the head shows which way
the nose blows
It's the industrious farmer that
knows just when to " call hand. I"
He calls him early.
It's when the seas swell that the
passengers get sea-sick. Sea the point?
To make q good impression il the
counterfeiter's best endeavor.
To A. Ward we award many Of the
originally ideas of the times.
Deaf men should never 20 to law.
They don't have . fair hearing, you
know.
~ feel put OUT" As the swain re-
marked when he landed on the front
walk.
Dontitsound somewhat superfluous
to speak Of filling vacancies? Can
anything else be filled?
"I'm full case" said the compost
tor, when he was drunk.-Puck. I'm
. full case" as the cheese remarked
when it was old.
Adam was thrown by an apple.
Well, IL Adam wasn't man enough to
throw such small thing a. an apple
he ought to have been thrown.
Type-setting machines will never
become popular till supplied with an
attachment that will yell copy. In
ventors will please make . note ofthis.
There's no use talking, . narrow
gauge boot can't be worn on . wide
gauge foot, and happiness at the same
experiences by the owners thereof
When the ancient Roman, with .
bland smile, told his esteemed purvey-
ors to " charge the bill, wonder IL the
esteemed ones thought the matter q
one.
The servant-girl question-How
many nights a week am I to have for
going out ?-Boston Times. Why, my
dear girl. you couldn't possibly have
more than seven.
Tennyson wears q decade hat
Boston Herald. Probably owing to
the first syllable of his name.-Eari
Marble. Or the age Of the hat.
IfSSanco Panza half an ounce of gold
per day, what ought an experienced
miner to pan out In the same length
Of timer Strauss Pr etzte. Do you
think ii Pasha to pan out such jokes
as this? We consider them Of q miner
nature.
Be kind to your poor relations. Be
grateful that you have relations. Re-
how many people there are
who have no poor relations.
ITEM. Pshaw, man, you know not
whereof you speak. There was never
but one man without poor relation,
and that was Adam before he was mar
ried.
THE sERENADE.
Touch the lutte lightly, for fathef's asleep-
Touch IL 20 gently. % son and % sweet
For should you disturb him while he so loudly does
snore,
I'm afraid, dearest Thomas, you'd come here no
more;
Touch the lutte lightly, for there's dog. too. out
back,
And your music In lowness no sweetness does hack
And should you disturb him, sweet Thomas fear
Thered be hustlins for you, oh Thomas, my dear.
Hark sstep In the backyard, erovl and chatter
Gay Thomas escaped. but the dog captured-no
matter.