Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1881-11-08
Queer Express Packages.

"Odd freight Well, I should say
we have" said d. F. Masters, one OF the
Oldest clerks in the Main Office OF the
Adams Express company on Market
street. as he ,wirled himself around on
high stool and faced an inquiring re-
porter. Mr.. Masters talks with great
volubility, and as he is in the habit OF
dropping many small words, his CONVEX
sation was decidedly ierky. eyes, We
ship a little OF everything, from diA-
monds to Chester white pigs and Lin
burgher cheese. Remarkable thing
about that cheese. Ever smell any?
Case burst in the freight-room last
spring. Made every one sick. Two
Irishmen tried to shovel it up. Smell
nearly turned 'em inside out. Got n
man, regular out and out eat-a-sand.
wich- in a minute sort OF q fellow from
Bergmyer's saloon across the way, but
he gave out in ten minutes. Only fin
ished it with box OF deodorizer. Phew !
They should charge double rates to ship
such stuff" and the speaker elevated Lis
nose rs though trace Of the diabohcal
aroma still fingered in his nostrils.
1.-TWO babies have come through this
ofice--one from Chicago for New York.
and the other from Washington 10 this
city. The men on the line made n great
fuss when the Chicago one was shipped.
Telegraph operators all along the route
sent dispatches ahead, and crowds OF
people went TO the deposs to see the
baby. Came all the way in the cars.
Had hammock all rugged up. New
idea, Won know, aud messengers thought
it was kind of 4 joke, but they wouldn't
like too much OF that kind. Ba5y's
mother died in Chicago; father lived in
New York; weighed forty-one pounds,
believe; cost about 80 to send it
through. Philadelphia baby came along
some time after. Both made their trip
first-class, and seemed TO enjoy things
generally. Fed EN- regulation spoon
yictuals from hotels along the line.
Often have dead folks shipped. Don't
know why they send 'em by express,
though. Tain't likely am ones going
10 walk of with corpse. Yes; man
shipped three short-horned cattle clean
through 70 Nebraska about a month ago.
Unless he got them for nothing they
must have cost him power of money
when be got them. Just think OF maii
expressing q whole deer carcass 1000
or 5000 miles About as sensible for
butcher TO express Q beef through TO
Camden. Last fall lunatic sent a
1900 pound block OF cedar from Cali
fornia clear 10 New York. That's moth.
ing, however. for l see some one sent
twenty barrels OF mess pork TO the
Pottstown military camp by express,
and the charges amounted to over
SlO0. A cinnamon bear came through
from Nevada by express last January
for the geological garden. Said he Was
tame when they shipped him. Got
loose near Omaha, drove every one out
OF the car, chawed up half deer,
ripped around among the freight, and
had circus all TO himself until he was
tied in the corner OF the car with q leg
chain. Oh, yes; they ship lots Of mir
rors, but the men don't like 'em Seven
years bad luck to smash a looking
glass, You know. Snakes till you can't
rest. but they keep them in boxes.
Messengers don't mind EN-. Now you
might think eggs me a nice freight,
bat they amt. More eIpressmen grow
bald on account OF worrying over bas-
kets of eggs than anything l know Of, y
ano Mr.. Masters turned from the re-
porter to receive package Of hymn
books consigned to a missionary in the
Black Hifis.-Philadelpkia Times.