Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1881-08-06

lHc IOliOH 1cJtcf WIS IOiift among
the papers of the late Prof. $. $. IIaldc-
man. and is 4 letter written to him, in
good faith, by III Englishman We do
not publish the name OF the gentleman
who wrote it, nor his address, for various
reasons. The letter reads Us follows:
DEAR SIR / wish to enter my dauSh-
ter Sophia DOrthca at your school. She
has already been to some half q dozen
schools and her father and ME have paid
immense sums of money ON her cdimica-
tiOn (but rs we arc rich people We don't
mind expenses) so think by this time
she had ought to be quite accomplished
but as l have heard your institution 50
highly spoken Of and make q rule to
DatrOnize all the fine arts: | think will
sent her to you to receive the coup de grace
rs thd yrnkecs say.
Now sir in order that We may the bet.
ter understand oar business | will say in
the first place what don't want taught,
and then what | do. And firsly don't
want her larnt no les. For instance, in
the last school she went IT, they told her
that the world was round like IN orange
and turned on its axletrcc every day. Now
cant we sec that it is rs Hat rs Il pan
cake ? and rs fO: its turnin:, on it's axle
tree that's all humbug for ii it dill We
should all fall offand all the milk in my
dairy would he split and how could We
walk with our heads down and our feet up
just for all the world like fly on the cell
ing. Then they told her the moon was some
thing they called 4 planet (perhaps you
knew what that is for am sure | dO'nt)
and borrowed its light from the sun. Now
have not our fathers told us from time
immamOrial that the moon was made Of
green cheese and that they cut up the old
ones to make stars ? and :lS for .ettiI. its
Tight from the sun that's all nOnSencc,
cant We see that the moon never shines but
at night when the sun is set ? SD how
can it borrow unless it is like some of my
neighbours always borrowing and never
paying. These are some Of the things I
don't want larnt. Now for what do.
In the first place want her learn: to
play tho pianny.forty and to sing like 4
martingalc, for the music teachers ut all
the other schools said she couldn't learn
for want of 4 Ctpaciy-but'I always had
but one answer for them which was :.
spare no expense "n tlie e,limication Of my
child and il she needs such i thing why
don't you buy it for her and send the bill
to mc?''
want her to read poetry not
only with correction but also with
lathos SO sho can speak Collins
ode in 4 passion like Mrs. What's
her name ut the theatre who speaks OF
never selling her love but letting coun;il-
men like worms and birds feed on her
,lamson check. You must teach her to
twirl the globes and show tie Antipods
and the norious line on one and that fam
ons star they call Jew Peter on the other
with his four moons and old Satan who
they say has seven q think in his regions
it must DO light enough without any moon
at all If there is rs much fire as wo arc
told there is
Well sir have told you all my mind on
this subject and after you have seen my
daughter if you think it best that she
should be supplied with this affair they
call Capacity don: DO too modest to say
so (for as I sad before don't mind ex-
,enses) and If there is such Il thing in all
Mobile she shall have it. In the mean
time trust entirely to your judgment and
remain Your bosom fraend