The Osceola times., 1881-03-26
WAYS OF THE WORLD.

Carr. E,ps' ship railroad is no new
idea. Didn't Charon pull a boat over
Styx?--[ LogeH Courier.
PAsroR MARsDoS said to his Methodist
congregation at Yarker, Ont, that if GER
tain members persisted in attending
dancing yarties they must withdraw
from the church. Six persons instantly
stood up and asked for dismissal.
WHILE Chas. Miller was eating break
fast in Detroit his wife embraced him
affectionately and cut his throat. She
explained that she was the queen of
England that he was the emperor OF
Germany, and that the cause of peace de-
manded his death.
He rose to leave and sad good night;
She rose but stil she held him tight
Theold man rose and struck a light
And saw him in her nrms,
His temper rose when he saw THIS;
lie rose spittoon to end their bliss
Thus rose a quarrel by which the Miss
Lost her lover, and he his charms
- H. Doyle Shenandoah, If7'N
Coypr,ToRs do the fare thing and
masons the square thing Errdtic En-
riU,e. And editors the write thing
IacoJ Strauss. And laundresses the
clean thing Marlboro Times. And
police justices the fine thing Somer-
silis Journal. This thing is getting pretty
well finished, but we will add that the
man who supports fainting lady does
the prop.her thing Boston Post.
BERLIN has 3,239 sets of apartments
without fireplace or chimney, and bali
the population lives in dwellings with
only one fireplace. Priyy Councillor
Starke draws shocking pictures of the
Immortality that exists in the city.
Drunkenness is attaining alarming pro-
portions. Over 10000 youthful clint
nails are turned annually into the streets
out of prison, and more than 5000 are
10 ,eless vagabonds.
ISa recent exhibition Of old satirical
prints and drawings in Liverpool were
several subjects relating to the Reyolu-
tionary war. One print of 1882 repre-
sents aMiss America" travestied as a
Virginia Princess. and holding the cap
of liberty on pole. She is making her
peace with her estranged parent: "Mam-
ma. say no more about it," To which
Britannia responds in generous spirit:
BE good girl and give Inc buss.'
THE Virginia City Enterprise says that
they have in their state n tree called
Mountain mahogany, of rich red
color and very hard. When used for
fuel it produces such intense heat as to
burn out stoves more rapidly than any
coal. 1t blazes as long as ordinary wood
would last and then becomes converted
into sort of charcoal that lasts twice as
long as ordinary wood. A cord of this
wood brings the same price as ton OF
coal.
THE hound Is one of the fastest run
ming dogs, and, not being impeded in a
heavy body, possesses great endurance.
An evidence of this was shown the other
day by hound belonging to Mr.. j. A.
Ford, of Battle Creek, Mich. Its owner
was stopping at village six miles from
the above place, and getting on the cars
with the intention of returning home,
did not notice the absence of the dog.
He soon saw the hound, however, follow
ing the train, which at that time was
running at the rate of eighteen miles an
hour. The animal reached home few
minutes after the train, having accom-
plished the six miles in thirty minutes.
L Exchange.
II beats me where all the time goes
g.; can't imagine what becomes of it.
know don't use it all, and yet it goes.
Last winter was only three months long
and it was scarcely nine weeks ago we
said goodbye to Burlington, and here it
is time for snow-ahoos again. ] would
like to clap an Injunction on this sort o.,
thinc, but don't suppose | can do it.
We have scarcely begun 10 realize II is
summer and so the fields are bare and
the woods are brown. The years have
shortened up maryelously since | was a
boy. can remember when il was three
years from one Christmas to another,
and about two years longer between the
fourths of July. Somebody has been
tampering with the almanac. ! wonder
five have been losing time ever
since we left Philadelphia" the brake
man Just remarked to the fat passenger.
That must be tits Tom Scott that has
done it. It's Jay Gould and Vanderbilt
that use up all the time Burlington
Haickege.
A SPORTING empress is SO much Of an
anachronism in the latter years of the
nineteenth century that the annual fox
hunting tours Of the Empress of Austria
deserve notice. This imperial lady, who
was born in palace, and whose whole
life has been passed in the perlumed at
mosphere of courts. whose brother was
king, whose sister was queen, and
who was herself raised to the dignity Of
empress when almost girl, finds all of
life that is worth living is that which is
passed in her stables in the congenial
companionship OF her horses. Her chum
il famous circus rider, and while other
queens make themselves unhappy over
political or social questions. she makes
herselfhappy in little equine king lom In
which there are neither cabals nor rival
ries nor contentious, and manages Ia es-
cape from court life summer and winter
to follow her strange tastes. Last Writer
was spent in Ireland, but this year ner
Majesty has taken Combermere Abbey
in Cheshire. She brings a suite Of 100
with her, and is estimated to spend e20.-
600 as the expenses of her annual hunt
ing tour.
TnE London dispatches inform us that
in about two months grading will begin
on the line of the already surveyed rail
road through the Holy Land. Through
by day light to jerusalem Just
think Of it. Fast express to Siolar'
Palace sleeping car for Bethesda" "Air
line to Tarshishp One by one the iron
horses plow their way through the rem
iniscenes Of childhood through the sa
cred legends of the Sunday school. In
the minds eve. Horatio, one already be-
holds the doughnut fend dealing out
dyspepsia and machine made pies in the
station at Babylon, and the orthodox
Christian swearing at being walked up TO
buy prize package at Damascus. The
picturesque camel will hereafter draw