davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1881-08-20
Reeds Gilt Edge Tonic prevents Malaria
How Not to Drswn.

When one Of the inferior animals
takes the water. falls. or is throws in,
it instantly begins to walk as it does
when out of the water. But when Q
man who cannot 'swim" falls into
the water, he makes few spasmodic
struggles, throws up his arms and
browns. The brute, on the other
hand, treads water, remains on the
surface, and is virtually insubmergi-
BILE. In order, then, to escape
drownding, it is only necessary to do
as the brute does, and that is to
tread or walk the water. The brute
has no advantage in regard to his
relative weight, in respect to the wa
ter, over man, and yet the man
perishes while the brute lives. New
ertheless. any man. any women. any
child who can walk on the land may
also walk in the water just as readily
as the animal does, If only he will.
and that without any prior instruc-
ton or drilling Whatever. Throw .
dog into the water and be treads or
walks instantly. and there is no inn
aginable reason why q human being
under like circumstances should not
do as the dog does. The brute in
deed walks in the water instinctively,
whereas the man has to be told.
The ignorance Of so simple posi-
bility Of tresding water, strikes me
as one of the most singular things in
the history Of man, aud speaks very
little indeed for his intelligence. He
is, in fact, as ignorant of the subject
as q newborn babe. Perhaps some
thing is to be ascribed to the vague
meaning which is attached to the
world Swim" When a.man swims
it means one thing, when . dog
swims it means another quite diff
ferent act. The dog is wholly inca
pable of swimming as man swims.
but nothing is more certain than that
a man is capable Of swimming as .
dog swims, without any previous
training or instruction, and that BY
80 doing without fear or hesitancy.
he will be Just as safe in the water
as the dog is. The brute in the wa
ter continues to go on all tours, and
the man who wishes to save his life
and cannot otherwise swim must do
so too, striking alternately, one, two,
one, two, but without hurry or pre-
cipitation, with hand and foot exact
~ as the brute does. Whether he be
provided with paw or hoof. the brute
swims with the greatest ease and
buoyancy. The human being. II he
will, can do so. too. with the further
immense advantage of having . pad
dle-formed hand, and Of being able
to rect himself when tired. by float
ing, thing of which animals have
no conception. Men aud animals
are able to Sustain themselves for
long distances in the water, and
would do so much oftener we're they
not incapacitated, in regard to the
former at least. by sheer terror, -
we'll as complete ignorance of their
real powers. The printed injunction
should be pasted up on all boat
houses. on every boat. every bathing
place and in every school "Tread
water when you End yourself ont Of
your debth" is all need to be said, I'M
less, indeed, we add: Float when
you are tired" Every one Of what
ever age or sex. or however encum-
bered with clothing. might tread wa
ter with at least as much facility.
even in breaking sea, a. four
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1881-08-20

To-day, august 20. 1881, is the day
on which it has been predicted that
the world would come to an end.
Let us all hope that the prognostica-
tors have made a mistake of a hun
dred wears or so in their calculation.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1881-08-20

Some of cur Pineville subscribers
have asked us to inquire why it takes
the CHRONICLE longer to go from AL
exandria to Pineville than from Col
fax to Alexandria. The postmaster
at the latter place will please give
the matter bis attention.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1881-08-20

Several days ago rufnor was
originated to the effect that the con-
victs in camp near Washington had
revolted and killed a number of the
guards, making good their escape.
The report proves to DO entirely
without foundation.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1881-08-20

That most men who sell whisky by
the drink are ashamed of their es-
Enlistment is shown by the fact that
they always try to add dignity to the
name of their business. Instead OF
"gin shop or whisky doggery," they
prefer the word saloon" to which
they have no right or title.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1881-08-20

Henry Brown, who was tried and
convicted of manslaughter al the last
term of court in Grant parish, and
who was lately granted new trial
by the Supreme Court, has had his
bond reduced to $4,000, and has CIV
en- bail and been released.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1881-08-20

All the stores at Colfax and Mont
gomery are out of meat. meal and
-four. As consequence many will
have to starve for a spell. Will our
people never learn to make their own
meat and bread?
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1881-08-20

We notice some Of our exchanges
are worrying over the disappearance
of the cotton worms in their section
The same thing seems to- have oc-
Cured in Grant, as our farmers have
been mysteriously silent about worms
lately.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1881-08-20

The repairing of chronometers and
fine watches. by sbillful workmen, q
specially, at FEReusos & ScHSAoK's.
Watchmakers and Jewellers. Alexan-
dria, La.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1881-08-20

President Garfield continues to i'm
prove, but very slowly.
Arizona weekly citizen., 1881-11-20
THE STAR ROUTES.

As anticipated after the adjournment of the Grand Jury without presenting the Star Route cases, they have fallen through and the country is left some what in doubt as to whether to place the responsibility upon the Attorney General or District Attorney Corkhill. After all the fuss made by two prorni- nent Cabinet officers, Postmaster Gen eral James and Attorney General Mac Neagh, it rather a disgraceful ending of State prosecution and reflects nogreat credit upon either one Of them especial ly the Attorney General, whom high mo- tlyes of official dignity seems to be at the bottom of the failure.
 Postmaster General James started in to do an honest work of reform, but in many respects his administration has been narrow and contracted, about such as he would apply to running the New York postoffice. The whole country, so far, We do not think, has been benefited much by his policy. We do not conceive that 1t Is the duty of Cabinet officer to run his Department as if it were a pri- vate business, and must be run for profit and everything that does not yield direct profits must be eliminated. They may do in an old-settled country like New York, but it is not satisfactory in the growing west. We believe that the government owes it to the hardy pio- neer5 of the west, who are opening up the vast resources of the country, to supply them with ample mail facilities, even If 1t does not return dollar for dol lar on the outlay. Postmaster General James Is boosting of his savings on Star routes, when much of it has been saved at the expense of making the situation of the inhabit- ants of our Western frontier more isolated. In the meantime hundreds of thousands are being expended in the effort to increase the speed of mail trains in the East a few hours or minutes.
 or this last more we make no com plaint, nor of the prosecution of Star Route or other thieves, but We do oppose the short-sighted policy which is cutting down the mail service of the West It Is neither wise or politIc from any point of view. It only gains a cheap notoriety for economy.
 If thieves can be punished and ex- penses reduced without impairing the efficiency of the service such economy and reform Is legitimate and all will commend it, but We have none too many mail facilities and desire to have them increased rather than diminished.
Arizona weekly citizen., 1881-11-20
Too AwfuIIy Utter.

Well" said a Deadwood man who just been introduced to a Brooklyn girl. and who had been asked by her fl they had many of those lovely frontiersmen out his way" well, mum, they hey right smart of m in OUT neck O the woods.
 And do they wear fringed legs and hunt those dear, sweet buffalo ?' asked the girl.
 "Ihe stage drivers wear fringe and sich, and when a butialer shines ont some one is purty apt to hook on"
 How supreme And those gorgeous Indians iu their picturesque wigwams of wampum, with their blending combina- tions of war paint-do you often see them?'
 "Oh, once in while we get a whack at buck, but mostly they are on the reservations" replied the Deadwood man, staring. "They does come in oc- casionally, but we don't track with 'em. %
 "The sweet things And you have such sunsets out in your mountain fast nesses, and such loves of highwaymen Do you ever see those delightful high waymen ?'
 Not often, mum. They get in the brush; and, as for sunsets, We get 'em pretty reglar in fair weather
 "Isn't it just too awfully, too r' ex- claimed the girl clasping her hands and rolling her eyes.
 "Yes, mum, stammered the Deadwood man, sometimes its pretty dern, too; leastwise it was the day that CObbler Duffy came into town on the landslide
 An avalanche Do you mean an avalanche? ? Ohl can there be anything more crystally utter than an avaiauche?
 Ut was booty tooty utter hazardcd the DeadwOod man, dropping into hIs companions style of expression. The cobbler had a-a-he had crystalIzed shaft upon the side of the butte and one day he was-was tOomg around up there, and things slipped out from under him.
 (" Oh, how radiantl How irridescent!
 Yes, mum, and he began to radi- ate to'ards town at the rate of a ldO0 miles and three furlongs a minute. We seen him a-a uttering down the side of the mountains, ripping mp trees and rocks, and his irridesccnt wife Tapped out of her shack and began tu raise TOW"
 Poor LIly," mOaned the glrl, did she stop the glorious avalanche:
 Nt. llllns lbt AAitN. tSt'A ANtNAiNg. up against his shack all standing and began to howl like a blizzard, cause he thought he'd lost his mine. But when they tipped the landslide on one end there was the mine underneath just as he had left it. So he could work it right under his winder. That was booty con. siderable, too, eh?' and the Deadwood man never wlnked.
 How sublime, How crystalline"
 But was going to say We never had a sunset there.'
 So star like, murmured the glrL
 Yes, mostly star like. 1ou see tho landslide stands there to this day, and they don't dare turn 1t over for fear ot filing in the town, SD We don't get any sun after eleven o'clock in the morn ing"
 :" A perennial twilight. So fearfully terrible. awfully utter Yes" murmured the DeadwooC man. |" its just about as utter as vol get en-
 And she sat and gazed upon him wrapped in admiration, while he fel | into a reyerie and wondered at Brook! ! hospitality in not providing "ssBC | boxes for strangers.
Arizona weekly citizen., 1881-11-20

THE Democracy have been making d great handle of the defeat of Mir Astor for Congress in New York, charging that he, although be spent money layishly, was unable to purchase his election. It transpires, however, that his antagonist was selected solely upon the ground of his ability to ''put mp The Democratic managers of the Congressional District in which Mr. Astor was running called on Clarkson \. Potter, of fraud inyes- tigation fame, for a subscription Of S20,- O0O in order to start the machine. When be inquired if this was all he would be required to pay, he was informed that that amount was for the expenses of the County Democracy. He was subsequent lv advised that the Irving Hall and Tammany Democracy would need aboUt the same amount to pay expenses at the polls. MT Potter thereupon declined, and MT. Flower consented to put up all the funds necessary to carry on the war, and was placed in nomination.
Arizona weekly citizen., 1881-11-20

NoYEs, the chief of the Oneida com munity, was one of tine witnesses relied upen by Scoville to prove Guiteau's in- sanity. The following letter must have convinced him, however that Moves is a poor witness:
 Perhaps it will sa<e you trouble and expense fl I inform you in advance that | do not believe in his insanity, and that I recollect no act or symptom of insan- ity in his life while under my cbSerya- tion. Probably l have more reason than any other man to know and detest his wickedness; but that Is not insanity in any legal sense. l think that he was born with a special genius for mischief and has had real inspiration for It all his days; but that IS not saying he IS in- sane. unless We also call natural genius and inspiration for good things, such as invention, music, etc, insanity. l under stand insanity to be unsOundness- disease of the brain; and ] do no, think that Guiteau has that any more than bears and lions have #.
Arizona weekly citizen., 1881-11-20

TIE San Francisco Exchange says :; Printers, usually a moral and orderly class, have been getting their names into the papers of late. An Alta compositor fatally stabbed woman in beer sa- loon the other day, and last evening an Argonaut printer shot a rival in a lodg- ing house. These manifestations of fe- rocity will make editors more cautious in their allusions to typographical errors which occasionally appear Tn the paper. The usual practice of braining printer with a mallet as soon as an error was traced to him will be discontinued, and editors will arm themselves carefully before suggesting any changes on the proof-sheets of an article.
Arizona weekly citizen., 1881-11-20
Women Wanted in Wyoming.
Laramie Boomerang.

Laramie hoomefdus.I
 Wyoming's want IS women. We want women here, partially to even up the population and partially to marry. Our Territory IS suffering more now for choice styles of young and mIddle-aged women than for anything else. We need them in all departments of industry where women may be employed, and also m our homes and by our tiresides. There are hundreds of lonely men in Wyoming who are doing well financially, and who would willingly rush into matrlmony If there were enough matrimony to go around. IT. Is the saddest feature 0f our vile Western country at present
 The oyer-populated East, where a young man may pay for lce-cream or Oystets for three pretty girls at a time, ought to contribute some of its wealth of yirls to this desOlate land, where there is only one woman to five or SIX men, and where life is a hollow moekery.
 We sometimes wish that nature had designed us for a hired girl, instead of an editor, 80 that we could have been independent In this country "a hired girl" is only another name for atlluence and financial stability.
 Twenty-Five dollars a month and board makes the poor, cringlng editor green with envy. Andy yet there are not enough girls in the country to do half the work. A nan lives out half his days and at last secures a wife, only to find that tho lat ter part of his career will be devoted Co securing a servant girl for her.
 It's tough.
 Life is too brief to be trIhed away in this manner. One friend of ours, who has been reared in luxury, has been without a girl for two months, and, al- though he has offered all kinds of in- ducements, he has been compelled to make the beds and do the chamber work while hs wife did the washing and cooked the meals.
 Let the man who never tried IL rise at | six o'clock, dress five children ln the | subIued light of early morning then ! cook breakfast, eat it and go down town | for a couple of months, and he wIl allow | the girl that will work for him the usC | of his upright piano and take her wltL | him to the theatre. Why 1t has arrived | at such a stage here ID Laramie tEa' | when a man asks one of his neighbOrs q he knows of servant girl that he car get, the mob turns loose at him an, | laughs at him till he wishes he was dead It is not an uncommon occurrence fO a girl to come West, work at reIula wages two or three years, and then, a an heiress, marry a blOated capitals and settle down.
 It is a horrible fact that unless some thing is done to prevent the centrallza ton of capital among the servant girl of Wyoming, a revolution cannot b avoided.
 There is not a man within the sOuu, of our voice that will not admit, wltl tears in his eyes and both suspender but tons trembling and tOttering to thel very foundation, that such IS the case.
Arizona weekly citizen., 1881-11-20

THE press of California does not seem to sympathize to an alarming extent with the Normal School Faculty, which IS just at the present time distinguishing itself as defendant in libel suit The News Letter says:
 The teachers of the State Normal School, of San Jose, or, as they are pleased tO term themselves, the "Facul- ty," are not making a very creditable exhibition of their erudite persons in the libel suit to which they are defend ants, and which has been on trial during the past week at the Garden City. The idea of a number of venerable, dried-up old fossils deliberately laying themselves out to ruin, with slanderOus and ibelOus utterances (and they were all the more slanderous and libelous from the fact that they were SO equivocal and ambigu- Ous), the reputation of yOu2., girl who was just entering upon the threshold of life. Is disgusting enough to make even Brother Harrison's gall turn over. The most serious charge brought by the Faculty against this young girl does not, when particularizej, amount to any thing more than a trifiing indiscretion which any fresh-spirited, lively girl is liable to commit in moments of excite ment. Not one fact was established which assails her chastity. Yet the hbelOus publication was so amblguOusly and maliciously strung together by this beastly-minded Faculty" that it vas capable of standing the very worst con struction. And now, when the hbeleTs are brought into a court Of justice, and given an opportunity to prove their words or eat them, they sneak out of the matter by giving them a most innocent explanation. Just fancy a young girl being bounded from school in disgrace because she asked why cannot locOmo- tive sit down? and because she was occasionally seen on the street with a beau. By and by We may expect that the Trustees and "Faculty" of the State Normal School, of San Jose, will impose VOWS of celibacy upon all its pupils. Things seem to be drifting in that direction.
Arizona weekly citizen., 1881-11-20

OUR press dispatches contain an item of news which can be construed into an intimation that Attorney-G Mac Veagh has resigned. It speaks of his taking final leave of the Department of Justice and returning to Philadelphia. But we have no positive information either of his resignation or the naming of his successor. The Associated Press sometimes leaves very important matters of that knd for the papers on the outer edge to pick up from their metropolitan contemporaries. That was tine case with the very important information that David Davis had been elected President of the Senate vice Bayard- There Is DO doubt. however, in view of the recent bad management of important State cases, that MacVeagh's resignation will be accepted when rendered.
Arizona weekly citizen., 1881-11-20

THE Star Route thieves have been al- lowed to go unpunished, while the poor people of tie West and the South are suffering for the crimes committed by dishonest contractors. We can not see the justice of this. If the Government has paid contractors too much, 1t IS no good reason why people should be de- prived of mail facilities. There IS a great deal Of complaint throughout the West, where a more liberal policy Is ab- solutely essential.
Arizona weekly citizen., 1881-11-20

PEor. GoLDwIS SMITH is boarding the lion-the British-in his den. The Professor is a noted Canadian political economist and journalist, and is al pres ent in England where he is carrying on a debate with Sir Francis Hincks over the question of anneLing Canada to the United States MT. Smith denounces the policy of England in retaining Cana da as Jingoism, and points out, with great force, that the scheme of imperial federation lnd of an imperial Zollvercin is madness, as Canada cannot be di- vorced from her natural associations and her natural markets and hitchcd on to England as a sort oi Jonkey-cusine He says:
 Sir Francis, loyal British pensi0ner that he is, declares tEgt there is uo wish for annexation ia Canada | think, how eyar, that no small proportion of the iizZiug loyalty of the Canadians iI as- sumed for purpOse. When Sir John Mcdonald comes here he tells us at every opportunity that Canada has an army oT GJ0,Oo men ready to spill their last drop of blood for the old flag, and then he asks for an appropriation; in other words, q new loan, tc be squander- ed on railways and canals, which do not pay. and which ultimately, like the new Canada-Pacific, fall under American control, or, like the lnter-colOnial, are rendered useless by shorter routes. Un- less I have been grievOusly misinformed a plebiscite on annexation m the city Of Montreal would astOuish Sir Francis Hincks, and in Western Canada, where the people are rubbing shoulders with Americans in their everyday business, the feeling of annexation k growing, although to be an ay0wCd anueXaticEist is not fashionable. I am told also by English friends just returned from the Northwest, where they had every oppCr- tuuitv of ascertaing the drift of public opini,u, that the aaue1ati feeling !s rapidly growing there. The nev Cana dian tariff compels the settlers to seEEs for their farm machinery and otbergo1Js all the way to Ontario, instead of to Minnesota The Canadian Government is handing over ifs territory Co a brood of mouopolists, public and private, and the Canadian Pacific Railway Company, which is the St. Paul. Minneapolis and Manitoba Company, has secured priyi- leges and are exercising a tyranny that are both retarding settlement and excit- ing the people against Canadian rule. The older provinces are peopled, in the main, by old countrymeu, who cling to British institutions, but the Northwest contains a motley crowd, that cares more for its own material welfare than for any scntimeutalities.
 There is no doubt but what the time will come when all the States of North Amcrica will be united under one gov ernment, and that government will be the United States. The international railroads which unite the British pos sessions with us on the north will pro- duce the spirit there in favor of aunexa- tion. The same thing will be true with Mexico on our Southern border. A com munity Of interests will eventually end in a common government
Arizona weekly citizen., 1881-11-20

LAMPS F. WmsoN's chances for the Iowa Senatorship seem better than those of any other candidate. The Ipter-Ocean addressed letters to all the Republican members on the Senatorial ouestion. Of the 114 Republicans sl re- sponded. and fl declare for James F. Wilson. five desire their letters coniden- tial and q of those not heard from are instructed for Wilson, which will make his vote at least @ in the caucus, beng q majority of four, and his friends clam that he will receive g. votes on the first ballot.
Arizona weekly citizen., 1881-11-20

GENERAL WILCOX has very touch- ing and delicate way of expressing his appreciation of the servlces oi some members of his "top heavy and amol- lions staff" He Is reported to have sad of q certain Captain by courtesy, and Lieutenant by rank, on his staff, alludlne to his personal attentions, that he was indispensable: he had become almost like a body servant to him