Idaho semi-weekly world. [volume] (Idaho City, Idaho Territory) 1875-1908, 1881-09-30
THE ONE-LEGGED MAN.
His Complaint Against a Certain
Form or Home Government.
Bill Nye in Boomerang.

guy OF the Sanctum was putting some
more carbolic acid in the paste, and
unlimbering his genius, and tuning
his Tyre preparatory to janking loose
few stanzas on the midsummer Gu,
cumber, man with cork leg came
softly in and sat down on volume
containing the complete poems Of No
ali Webster. He Wanted patiently
until he could catch the eye of the
speaker. When the time had arrived
for the lodge to open up unfinished
business, communications and new
business, he ran his wooden leg
through the rounds of chair, and
said: II desire to make few re-
marks on the subject of home govern
ment, and the rights a husband may
have which his wife is bound to res
pect. Last week | celebrated nv
34th birthday, or started to celebrate
it, and circumstances over which l
had no control arose and busted the
programme as mapped out by the
committee of arrangements. 1t was
the intention of the party, consisting
of myself and several other of our en-
inent men, TO go over to Sabille can
yon with mountain wagon and
pair of pinto plugs for a little whole
sale recreation. We had some weap-
ons for staying the frolicsome jack
rabbit and the timid sage hen, and
had provided ourselves against every
possible rattlesnake contingency. We
were all loaded up in good shape, and
drove around to my house to get
camp-kettle and some lemons. l
went into the pantry, to get couple
Of pounds of sugar and a nutmeg.
My wife met me in the pantry, and
roughly and brutally smelled of my
breath. This was not the preroga-
tive of true wife. but she weighs 200,
and is middIing resolute, so l allowed
her to do so, although every mans
breath is his own property, and if he
allows his wife to take advantage Of
her marital vows to smell his breath
on the most unlooked-for occasions.
what is to become of our boasted free
dom? l then went up stairs into
closet after lap-robe and pillow,
to use in case any of US got sun
struck. My wife came in just then,
and as l started away with the pillow
she tripped me up so l fell in the clos
ct, and before l could recover my sur
prise she sat down on me in such
solemn and impressive manner that
my eyes hung out on my cheeks like
the bronze door-knobs on a Pullman
car. There | was in the impenetra-
BILE gloom of a closet, with the trust
ing companion of my home-life fatten-
ing cut my stomach till l could feel
my watch chain against my spinal
column. She then unscrewed my
cork-leg in mechanical kind of a
way, and locked it up In the bureau
drawer, putting the key in her pock-
ct. After that she fastened the clos
ct door on the outside and told the
party would be unable, owing to the
inclemency of the weather, to take
part in the exercises at Sabille canon.
All through that long, long, weary
day, stood around on one leg, and
looking out of the window, thinking
what potent spell is exerted over a
wooden-legged man by an abIe-bodied
wife. 1t is question, sir, which is
of vital interest to us all. Must the
one-legged unfortunate continue thus
to subserve the interests of the tws]-
legged partner of his joys and sor-
rows?"
i e