The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1881-01-26
VARIETIES.

Let me see your paper moment,
dear ?" Husband-"Y es, as soon as
we get to the 4unnel'
1t you want to see back stare on
fashionable promenade observe two
tashionably dressed ladies as they
pass each other.
! A colored lady, Boosting the other
day of the progress made by her son
in arithmetic, exultingly said, "he is
IN modification table"
A young lady refused to marry
until leap year was over for fear her
hubby, after she is married, will twit
her OF doing all the sparkling.
! Abiding to Beecher's estimate that
one female housefy will lay 10000
eggs in season, Mrs. Darlington
thinks Kit a pity fly couldn't be
grated on hen"
"What kind Of reptile is that ?"
he asked, pointing to an old shoe in
the alley. His friend denied there
was any reptile there. eyes, there
is; amt that an alleygaiter p
Affection can withstand severe
storms of rigor, but not long polar
frost of downright indifference. Love
will subsist on wonderfully little
hope, but not altogether without it.
1t newspaper should contain all
the things that all it's readers want it
to print it would have to be bigger
than a bedstead. If it should leave
cut all its readers do not wish it to
read, it would be blank page.
Considerate mother to governess :
"Miss Smith, don't let Alfred and
Jamie sit down on the damp grass,
for fear they should catch cold.
When they are tired you can sit
down and take them on your lap"
Dicky had been silent during his
Thanksgiving dinner, but finally he
rested his fat elbows on the table,
with knife and fork upright in either
hand, and gave great sigh and said:
Il wish turkeys could be made
double breasted"
Eyes" said the steward OF the
steamer, Il admit that the salt beef
was very bad, the potatoes rotten,
the bread sour-but the rest of the
provisions were good" "What were
the rest of the provisions ?" ooh,
salt, pepper and mustard"
) When the cook placed the turKe
e on the table, upside down on the dis
J. that is, with its back up-the hea
r of the house got his back up, to
e gave her whitening look and almo
a protanely asked if she ss'posed
e was going to crawl under the tab
t. and cut hole up through the plat
e to get at the breast of the fowl ?"
6 One act Of kindness, one deed
" love, one work spoken in behalf of
) fellow being mingle together al
At from little springs they become
he great river of pure character, viii,
y flows into an eternity of bliss. II
" pure thoughts, feelings Of hatre
q acts Of revenge, form a strong al
a. turbid current, emptying into a sea
III woe.
n A Galveston dandy didn't like t
J. new pants he had received from
" tailor, so he told the artist who blu
=, the pants "Look here, I can't II
% those pants. 1 wanted them for
re dinner party, and they are so tig
l can't walk in them" "WeII
growled the tailor, eff you don't Q
any tighter than the pants you VOL
80 find any trouble in walking"
is He stood twirling his hat in /
d, hand in the hallway. 1t was abo
y time for the morning stars to beg
Il, their song together. "Well," al
- he moved one step nearer the doc
1T "Well," she replied, as she steppc
lie to the door also. "Well, II mu
ID be going. IL" chats RICH
10 John, if" and she leaned her head {
i his shoulder. "It-you-have-ar
d. conundrums--t o-ask,-ask-th e
re now" He was measured for
er new bat and pair OF kid gloves
J; that same day.
= An infidel out West recent
y boosted that two acres of "Sund;
70 corn" on which all the work hs
a been done on Sunday, and whi'
w yielded seventy bushels to the acr
y upset the Bible idea that Sunds
NJ work never prospered. To this tt
" editor of an agricultural paper reptile
thus: IF the author of this shallo
nonsense had read the Bible half
H. .,,,-i -. L i. hoe 4l,o ,-o,l- II "a.