Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1881-07-07
Mark Twain as a military Man.

Mark Twain spoke at the Army of
Potomac Reunion at Hartford, recently.
He responded 10 the toast 'eThe benefit
of judicious training" He said that
ne had been examining up at West
Point, and he discoursed learnedly on
military affairs as follows:
To begin, gentlemen, when an en-
gagemeut is meditated it is best 10 feel
tue enemy first, that is, IL it is night,
Tor, as one of the cadets explained to me,
you do not need to feel him in the day
time, because you can see him then. L
should never have thought Of that, but
i is true. perfectly true. In the day
time the methods of procedure are
various, but the best, it seems TO me,
is one which was introduced by Cen
eral Grant. General Grant always sent
an active young man redoubt to recon-
noitre and get the enemy's bearings.
l got this from high officer at the
Point, who told me he used to be q re-
doubt on General Grants staff. and he
had done it often. When the hour for
the battle is come, move to the field
with celerity-fool away no time. I'm
der this head was told of favOrite
maxim OF General Sheridan's. Cen
erm Sheridan always said, III the
siege train isn't ready, don't wait-go
by any trains that are handy; to get
there is the main thing Now, that
is the correct idea AS you approach
the field IL is better to get out and
walk. This gives you a better chance
to dispose Of your forces judiciously
for the assault Get your artillery in
position and throw out stragglers to
the right aud left to hold your lines of
communication against surprise. See
that every bod carrier connected with
a mortar battery is Mt his post. They
tod me at the Point that Napoleon
desplsed mortar batteries and would
not use them He said that for real
efficiency he wouldn't give a hatful OF
brickbats Tor n ton of mortar. How
ever, that is all he knew about il.
Everything being ready for the as
sault, you wart to enter the field with
your baggage - tie front. This idea
was invented by our renowned guest,
General Sherman. They told me that
General Sherman said that the trunks
and baggage make n good protection
for the soldiers, but that chiefly they
attract the attention and livet the in
tcrest of the enemy, and this gives
you an opportunity to whirl the other
end of the column around and attack
him in the rear. / have given a good
deal of study To this tactic since |
learned about it, and it appears to me
1t is a rafting good idea. Never fetch
on your reserves ut the start. This
was Napoleon's fist mistake az Water
loo. Next, nc assaulted with his
bOmb-prOofs and ambulances and en-
brasures, when he ought to have used
u heavier artillery. Thirdly, he retired
his right by ricOchct which uncovered
his pickets-when his only possibility
of success lay in doubling up his centre,
flank by lark, and throwing out his
choDdtr de .Erise 10y the lefs oblique Il
relieve the skirmish line and con.
fuse the enemy-if such a ma
nGuvre would confuse him, and
at West Point they said it would
1t was about this time that the
Emperor had two horses shot
under him. How often you
remark of Geneneral SO.and-So
u battle had two or three horses shot
under him. General Burnside and
many great European military men,
us l was informed 10y n high artillery
officer at West Point, have Justly char
acterizCd this rs n wantOn waste of
projectiles, and he impressed upon me
u conversation i'm the tent of the Prus.
sian chiefs at Gravelotte, i'm the course
of which our honored guest just refer
rcd tO-Ge1eral Burnside-Observed
that if you can't aim horse so as 10
hit the general with it, shoot it over
him and you may bag something on the
other side, whereas a horse shot under
n general does no sort of damage ]
agree cordially with General Burnside,
and heaven knows / shall rejoice to see
the artillerists of this land and of all
lands cease from this wicked and idiot
ic custom.
When you leave a battle field always
leave it in good order. Remove the
wreck and rubbish and tidy up the
place. However, i'm the case of q
drawn battle il is neither party's bust.
ness to tidy up anything. You can
leave the field looking rs if the city gov.
eminent of New York had bossed the
/ fight. When you are trlversing the
enemy's country in order TO destroy his
supplies and cripple his resources, you
want TO take along plenty of camp fol
lowers. The more the better. They
are tremendously effective arm OF the
service, and they inspire in the foe the
liveliest dread. A West Point proffes-
sOr told me that the wisdom of this
was recognized as far back as the Scrip
tuTe times. lie quoted n verse. lie
said IL was from the new revision, and
was little different from the way il
reads in the old one. / do not recol
lect the exact wording of it now, but ]
remember it wound up with something
about such and such q devastating
agent being rs terrible as an army
with bummers.' / believe have moth
ing further to add but this: The West
Pointers said private should preserve
a respectful attitude toward his supe
riOrs, and should seldom or never pro
coed so far rs 10 offer suggestions 10 hi:
general in the field. If the battle /:
not conducted TO suit him he had bet
ter resign. by the etiquette of war il
is permitted that none below the ranl
OF newspaper correspondents TO dictate
To the general in the field"
Driving Hen.
When a woman has hen To driv,
into coop, she takes hold of her skit.
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