National Republican., 1881-07-08
MY NAME.
A IIorrid Phantom Connected with It
a Lifc's sorrow.

- INV RbEEUWs
My father was an Englishman, with
good, plain, strong, English name which no one
need be ashamed TO bear. The love and reverence
bear my fathers memory makes his name most
dear TO me; and yet II has connected with It a
horrid phantom, which for years has never ceased
to haunt me- Let me explain. My father and
mother are both dead. My only sister Is married,
leaving me the only representative Of the family
bearing the name on this side Of the ocean. There
are others Of the name Of whom hear, although
have no acquaintance with them; but there lies
the origin Of the shadow that haunts my path DO
not think that II is linked with crime, disgrace,
trcachcfy. never heard Of one bearing the name
who had brought upon tthe least stain OF oblOquy.
scarcely ever meet q stranger who docs not know
fsomc one Of the NAME and, strange fatality that
person always Is minister trlning thing 10
dwell upon until
IT SEEMS A SPECTRE
ever present but It's like the tales Ive heard of
criminal execution by continual drops of water
falling on the head; at first it seems trinng
thing, but the uninterrupted dropping excites mind
and nerves and causes intense suffering. The
wretched victim feels drop and waits with fever
ish excitement for the next lie knows twill
surely comc-longs for it, breads t. Seconds seem
hours. Hls torture will never cease. And then,
w'th mind bcnumbcd drop seems TO follow drop
IN swim succession, like showers of hot lead, until
lac cries and prays for respite.
AN SENSITIVE
| and what at first seemed like laughablc conci-
denca when oil repeated had so excited rae that,
while drcadng TO meet II stranger and the newt
able question, yet longed for the ordeal to be
over, feeling that It was inevitable. Then came
| the last sad benumbed state when the intervening
time is nothing and the question, with It's attend
ant agony, is all know or feel Of what goes on
around me. Let me give o sketch Of my most
miserable life. passed my childhood In happy
unconsciousness, listening to rippling brooks
/ whispering trees, and low moaning of the waves
upon the beach, In an unhappy hour was sent
away from all those rustic scenes TO gather knowl-
edge in a neighboring town. Unkind fate sent at
the same time to preside over a congregation in
the town man who bore my name. We both
were strangers
Was his daughter2
| mo"
| Was | his sister?
| "Non
Was ! his ncce2
| mo"
What relation was I to him2
| "None at ALL"
Deluded fooll thought twas accident, and
smiled. little knew the dreadful fate that was
doomed to have pursue me day by day. A noted
man came there, and we all wished to grasp his
good left hand-his right had mouldercd on a bat.
tie field. lie had scant time to more than give a
sympathetic pressure Of the hand and pass us by
and those TO whom he spoke particularly felt 1t "a
be high honor. went up with smiling counte-
nance 10 meet the fateful question. In hi'
city was q Baptist minister of my name was
his daughter2
TEARS CANE TO MY EYES,
md with trembling negative shark from the
room to avoid the eager girls, anxious TO know
what he had said TO so affect me- Al last IN!
school days ended, and went forth TO mingc IN
new scenes but now no respite came. Their
seemed to be ministers eycrywherc-Baptist,M Meth
odists, Uniyersalist Catholicism every town anC
hamlet in the county, who bore my fateGul name
changed my residence, and II was worse thai
ever. A clergyman of that name had mlnistereC
to flock there years before, and every one wa
sure was his daughter, nRi one even went so ia
as to ask me where my poor dead father had $
fondly .mourpcd now was The strain was terrible
| returned TO my childhood's home There woul
wander amid the trees, and kindly Nature woul
restore me, for 1 was nearly crazcd. / scnrccl
touched the platform ut the depot before l wa
greeted and made acquainted with minister VIII
claimed me as a relative because bore his moth
er's name could not escape the horrid spectr
cropping In the shadow Of my name. II was thcrt
and could find no rest and so again
TOOK NY WEARY WAY,
and went hundreds of miles, where no one hat
ever seen my face. The first lady talked wit
had been married by a clergyman ofmy nam,
and he had lived in that same city and SO tn
question that made every nerve and muscle quive
came in swift succession. had one brief respit,
A stranger by my name came to the great city Il
prominent capacity and not a ministerial one
, Hope sprapg within my breast. felt II keen dc
light in being asked If was a relative of hi
Faacious hopel I'm crushed again / cannC
exercise the horrld shadow, The papers just hay
told me that he, too is u minister and only ohanc
/ brought him here n peculiar crraud,
long 10 hide myself away from all my fellows, an
yet horrid fascination keeps me moving ami
humanity. My shadow will neither leave nc
: loose me from its influence. / cry and pray f
respite, which know that death alone can give,
MALLETT.