The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1881-01-13
A Perfectly Lovely Philosophy.


A few days ago Boston girl Who had
been attending the School Of Philosophy
at Concord arrived in Brooklyn on .
visit to a seminary chum. After can-
vassing thoroughly the fun and gum
drops that made up their education in
the seat Of learning at which their early
scholastic efforts were made, the Brook
lyn girl began to inquire into the nature
of the Concord entertainments
'.And so you are taking lessons in
philosophy How do you like itp''
'sOh! it's perfectly lovely. It's about
science, you know, and we all just dote
on science"
.'It must be nice, What is it aboutP'
''It's about molecules as much as any
anything else, and molecules are Just
too awfully nice for anything. If there's
anything l really enjoy, it's molecules"
Tell me about them. my dear.
What are molecules?"
so, molecules. They are little wee
things, and il takes ever so many Of
them, They are splendid things! Do
you know, there isn't anything but
what's got molecules in itp And Mr..
Cook is just as sweet as he can be-, and
MT. Emerson, too. They explained
everything so beautifully"
'How I'd like to 60 thereP' said the
Brooklyn girl, enviously.
You'd enjoy it ever so much. They
teach protoplasm, too. and if there is
plasm. l really don't know which I
like best, protoplasm or molecules"
Tell me about protoplasm- know
should adore it ...-
''Deed you would It'sjustt 90 sweet
to live. You know it's about how things
get started, or some thing of that kind.
You ought to hear Mr. Emerson tell
about it. 1t would stir your very soul.
The first time he explained about proto-
plasm there wasn't a dry eye in the
house. We named our hats after him.
This is an Emerson hat. You see the
ribbon is drawn over the crown and
caught with q buckle and bunch of
flowers. Then you turn up the side with
a spray of forget-me-nots. Amt it just
too sweet? All the girls in the school
have them" sa-
And Mr.. Cook! You should hear him
go on. This scarf is the Cook scarf.
All the girls wear them. and we named
them after him just on account of the
interest he takes in differentiation"
''What is it anyway"
This is null trimmed with Lanque-
doc lace
II don't mean that-that other"
''Oh! differentiation! amt it sweetp
It's got something to do with species.
And we learn ali about ascidians, too
I'm absolutely enraptured with as
cidians. If / only had an aseidian of
my own, wouldn't ask anything else
in the world" J"
What do they look like, dearP Did
you ever see one?" asked the Rrooklyn
girl, deeply interested.
ooh, no, nobody ever saw one ex-
cept Mr., Cook and Mr.. Emerson, but
they are something like an oyster with
a retilcule hung on its belt, think
they are just heavenly" l
'.Do you learn anything else besides
all these?''
..Oh, yes. Well we learn all about
common philosophy and logic, and
those common things like metaphysics,
but the girls don't care anything about
those. We are just in ecstacies over
differentiation and molecules, and Mr..
Cook. and protoplasms and ascidians,
and Mr.. Emerson, and really don't
see why they put in those vulgar
branches. If anybody beside Mr.. Cook
and Mr.. Emerson had done it we should
have told him to his face that he was
too horribly, awfully mean"
And the Brooklyn girl went to bed
that night in the dumps because fortune
had not vouchsafed her the advantages
enjoyed BY her friend, while the Boston
girl dreamed of seeing an ascidian chas-
ing molecule over a differentiated
back fence with club, for telling q
protoplasm that his youngest sister had
SO many freckles on here nose that they
made her cock-eyed.