Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1881-02-22
-a:,raster fnteltigenrer.
THURSDAY EVENING. FEB. %, 1881.
Local Politics.


How Fulton's 3uack Broke the Ring.
For the INTELLIGESCEE.
Those acquainted with the political
complexion OF Fulton township are fully
aware of the superlative degree Of black
ness of said complexion. If We may be
allowed the expression, it is black as
ace of spades;' nay. black as the 4" ten
spot And its political workings are one
contemplate combination of rings rings
that work together, rings antaSOnlstic
in fact it possesses almost as many
rings as some of our worthy farmers hog
pens, or thrifty house wives wire dish
washers. Fulton has not reached Lancas-
ter's beautiful and refined epithetical po-
sition and does not bcstow upon her rings
such enphcnious appcllatOns as Hog
Ring and "Bull Ring" but prefers
more embracing (uot that Bull and
90 Hog do not take in all Lancaster Re-
publicans) and compounded titles as the
." Kirk Brown Cameron whisky ring"
with sometimes an ugly ''cuss word
prefacing it.
Another ring they call the 'Quack. and
misunderstanding. The ''quack'
means a po!itica! Yuack. Of course. 1t
couldn't certainly refer to any other kind
of quack. And your correspondent has
rather 4 "warm side for the station house
lawyer. but would advise him to be guard
ed in his company, and would whisper to
him that ''cvil communications corrupt
good mora!s.'' Now the first named
member of the last mentioned firm has
long been desiring to hold the enviable
and important position of school director
and the other ring desired that he
shouldn't.
So one morning earlier in the winter
this "quack.' as his Republican opponents
dub him. standing on his heels, his thumbs
stuck i'm the arm holes of his vest. and his
fingers beating "A tattoo on his swelling
breast, surveying the Sp ,;leSS whitcncss of
the snow covered valley through which
the narrow gauge railroad drays its
slow length along the prominence
of a distant kill. and with. more satisfied
observation of the prominence of his own
stomach, remarked to his horse. dog and Il
colored man that he would next year bc 4,
member of that SCHOOL board or know the
reason why. He was 80 very earnest that
he mist""k carlreStncss for political power
and did not realize their wonderfully differ
ent natures till the 18th inst. Well,
after hc had made the above declara-
tion, which in reality Vas bat the
breaking OF the egg he had long been
hatching, c proceeded I" give his Town.
ship a thprou h canvass. and through his
friends published :I earnest solicitation
for support at the primary, and succeeded
in getting the nomination on account of 4
small primary attendance and the clO-
Iuence OF his partner, the lawyer. When
the Republicans at large learned what
kiE:i Of Il dish their cooks had served up
for them, particularly dislibing the un
Sayorr uuack meat i'll II, they cried. Get
thee hence = for The fult IN Republican
would Ike 1t IL appear some, time that his
task is very sTueanis!,. and this time he
grOwlei with Dckcnss dissatisfied man
on the canal boat that this don't suit
me no how, il doii't.'
With this the director ;ispilant became
enraIed, and ;,v"wed by III, - Yencaloyy -
that he would break that blank, blankery,
blank -i,rown-Came: iiisE y ring,
he elected, apd pull through with him the
defeated candidate for assessor. our eS
timable friend who can tell YOU the birth
day of every man in Fulton township
But alas the traces broke at the first
crOsSway and the ;sscs>or was left behind
and the little boss never got higher
than the bottom OF the hill.
The lawyer worked hard ror his friend
and they did Hut hesitate to grasp :, straw
that came along, in the person OF II ,iuve-
nile Democrat who offered his services.
When the older Democrats saw which way
this straw was blowing they became slight
ly alarmed for their own cause, for the
juvenile is something OF 4 tallcr, but they
were Icassu,cd when they remember
ed that the more he talked the less the
world would listen. The venerable states
man and constitution mcnder from Texas
was there, too. admonisl,iny the boys to
stick to their text and vote their
sentiments q. coarse, this advice had
great weight being in such perfect liar
mOny with the adviser Srccord. When tie
polls closed the lawyer gave it as his opin-
ion that "that day the kirk-Brown-C am
erOn-whisky y-ring had dug Il grave, which
the 'Iuack would step clca. over, and it,
self, that might be buried therein, in ever
lasting. ignominious oDlivinn.' The law
yer is given t" Oratory, and makes his per
iOds sound sometimes.
The counting ot the vote showed Low
far the director candidate had pulled the
poor assessor candidate: showed them
both coming in away behind the tail of
the hunt; showed an imaginary new
school house fading. fading far away from
the old one at Plum Hill showed the
strength oi the Kirk Brown Il Co. S rim"
showed the wah;ed-to be school director
that it is as difficult to break that rim" as
for the narrow gauge engine to go through
snOw-driit to sell worthless railroad
bonds to women to induce colOred men S
daughters not to live with coppcrhcatls ::
for Il camel to 80 through IA needless eve,
or for him 10 defeat such man as his op
pOnent for school director.
As a Cure for Etlcs