Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1881-03-19
WHOLE NO. 2,363.

RroosIxn EagIe.

A+iR'fNiA - laA4lfs
"What seems To be the matter p,
inquired the city editor, as he EN-
tered the local room and found two
reporters rolling over each other on
the floor. Stop this j! What's the
trouble?"
lie says that my account Of the
funeral yesterday was all slush.n
painted one Of the contestants.
climbing to his feet. cts twice as
good as his account of the fire.
'Fisn't either,v objected the
other. II can write all around him
with one hand and lick him with
the other. Look at his funeral bns-
iness he says: 'The corpse stood
IN a neat casket which looked as
natural as life, while the organ
strains blended with fine cross
and anchor of tube roses, presented
to the deceased by his partners as a
token OF their esteem"
"Well, wasn't il ~ demanded
the funeral reporter, 'ssee how he
puts up his fire: Engine No. 6 got
the first stream on the fire fieiid.
who shot forth his starry tongue
and rolled his eyes saVagelv as fhe
crystal drops fell thick and swift
on his red and yellow hide. At
this juncture the hose burst. and
but for the prompt arrival OF No. 4,
the monster would have strided
through the city, leaving a burning
pathway of widows and orphans ~
$50 he would" proclaimed the
fire reporter. "When No. 4 arrived
he had the bulge. But look at this
fora funeral notice: The mourners
were yelled, but not so keenly as to
hide their sobs from the keen OBJ
server. A dim religious light pre-
vailed, contrasting pleasantly with
the discourse, which was calculated
to comfort those who we're weary
and heavy laden, OF which there
were six, all prominent citizens
That's what / call slush."
"What does he know about writ
ing?" demanded the funeral report
er. "Listen to his fire minute:
The flames burst out of common
kitchen stove, and, rejoicing in
their freedom, poured with a wild
roar Of laughter and glee intoan adj
Joining room, used by Mr.. O'Meara
as tailor shop. Up the side Of the
doorway they climbed, shrieking
with a fiendish delight, toward the
residing rooms of Mr.. Amos
Thompson, when they were checked
BY the gush OF the enraged engines,
md dropped alfrighted through the
floor into Antonelli's barber estab-
ishment,' Call that sense ~
Certainly" defended theauthOr.
That's what they did, and / wrote
Dy the facts. Talk about writing!
Look at this: 'The respect in which
he deceased was held was testified
by the energy displayed by the
i'm their efforts 10 secure
ront seats. Long before the hour
appointed the house was crowded,
md hundreds were turned away.
At the conclusion OF the ceremony
he preacher announced that all
Who desired to glance at the features
If the dead party would please step
Onward, and the scene that fol-
owed beggars description, while
he organ played a sad aria from
)ffenbach's OratOria OF Solomon
What does that mean ."
"You let it alone" deiied the fu-
leral reporter. How's this y? For
hours the Kissing water and the bat
ling flames wrestled for mastery.
1t length the wearied mass of furi-
'us fire, with one expiring effort,
cached its blazing arms toward the
zenith, and with shud-
er of despair sank before its here
itary foe. Loss 5000. No insur-
nee Call that reporting? Il
ont"
"Don't eh ?" demanded the fire
eporter.
And the city editor left them roll
az on the floor again. There are
Ome questions an umpire cannot
ecide."