The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1881-09-29
Cross.Eyed Gfris.

"You don't want to never tamper
with cross-eyed girl, said Mr.. Trill.
pipe, "and I'll tell you why: They've
naturally got better focus on things
than man would ever guess-studyin'
may think he's foolin' a cross-eyed
girl simply because she apparently got
her eyes tangled on other topics as he's
a-talkin' to her, but at the same time
that girl may be a-lookin' down the
windin' stairway of the cellar of his
soul with one eye, and a-winkin' in q
whisper to her own soul with the other,
and her unconscious victim just a-takin.
it for granted that nothin' is the matter
with the girl. only just cross-eyed! You
see I've studio 'em." continued Trill-
py, "and I m onto one fact dead sure
and that is, their natures is as deceivin'
as their eyes is! Knowed one onc't that
had her eyes mixed up thataway-sen-
sitive little thing she was. and always
referrin' to her misfortune as she
called it. and eternally threatenin' to
have some surgeon straighten 'em out
like other folks Aand sir, that girl so
worked on my feelin's and took such
underhOlts on my sympathies that.
blame me, before l knowed it I con-
fessed to her that if it hadn't been for
her defective eyes 1 made it defect
i've never would have thou. lit Of
lovin' her, and, furthermore, if ever
she did have 'em changed back normal,
don't you understand, she might con-
slider our engagement at an end--I did,
honest-and that girl was so absolute
cross-eyed it warped her ears, and she
used to amuse herself by watchin' 'em
curl up as I'd be atalkin' 10 her, and
that maddened me, cause I'm naturally
Of jealous disposition. you kaow,
and so, at last, / just casually
agoin' to get them eyes carpentered
endedit. And then the blame girl turned
right around aud married fellow that
had better pair of eyes than mine this
minute! Then l stru * anothe: cross
eyed girl--not really a legitimate case,
cause in reality she had only one off
eye--the right eye, if don't disremem-
Der, the other one was square as
gauge. And that girl was, if any diff
ference, a more confusin' case, than the
other; and besides all that she had some
money in her own right, and she want
a-throwin' off no big discount on one
game eye. But finally got her inter-
ested, and l reckon somethin' serious
might a come of it, but, you see. her
father was dead, and her step-mother,
sort O shut down on my comm to the
house; besides that she had three grown
uncles, and YOU know how uncles is. I
didn't want to marry NO family, of
course, and so slid out of the scheme
and tackled good gixl that clerked in
a post-o:fice. Her eyes was bad! /
never did get the hang of them eyes of
hern. She had purity hair and COM
plexi0n, used to tell her, which out
r.va!ed the rose. But them eyes, you
know! didn't really appreciate how
bad they was eros ed, at first. You see.
it took time. Got her to give me her
picture, and 1 used to cipher on that.
but finally worked her off on a. young
friend of mine who wanted to marry in
tellect give her good send off to him
and she was smart-only them eyes,
you know! Why. that girl could read
a postal-card both sides at once, and
smile at a personal friend through the
Office window at the same time" -In-
aiasapolis Journal.