Smyrna times., 1881-06-01
Humorous Side of the Wedding Altar,

A few years since young gentleman from
the country came to the city for the purpose
of meeting and marrying young lady who,
being left an orphan a year previous, had
found home with an aunt, who was decidedly
opposed to the match. The plan was for the
gentleman to come to Detroit on an early train.
make the necessary arrangements, and meet
her at the depot at clock in the evening.
Accompanied by friend parson was found
who consented to the ceremony being per-
formed in his own parlors, and, all the prepa-
ratlons completed, the gentlemen repaired to
hotel for quiet smoke before the train should
arrive. While so engaged the intended BRIDE
groom bethought him of the financial phase of
the transaction, and inquired of his friend
what was the customary fee, and how and
when 1t was to be paid, ALPHABETICALLY adding,
with little nervous laugh: "You see, nv
boy, never was married before" The de-
sired information was given, the soon-to-be
Benedict withdrew to a side table, procured
paper and an envelope, and indicted a note to
the clergyman, thanking him for his kind
ness, and asking his acceptance of the in
closed, at the same time wishing he were able
to give more. The reverend gentleman de-
clares that he wished the same, for the envc-
lope did not contain penny.
well known clergyman was preaching at
Dexter, when an apparently verdant couple
came over to his study from the hotel They
had come to town ON purpose to be united bv
the clergyman they said, and were going on a
tower" The ceremony over, the groom
thrust his hands deep into one pocket after
another, and then, with well-simulated annov-
ancc, CALCULATED: 81 declare TO gracious.
Jane, [ have left all my money over at the
hotel He would 60 right over and get it.
and be back in a minute The clergyman,
however, had 9een bitten before, and blandly
suggested that inasmuch as he was coming
back so soon, the bride could wait there until
his return. This arrangement seemed to be
satisfactory, and the groom started for the
MOTEL tie soon returned and said: "Jane, l
can't unlock that pesky trunk of you'rn.
You'll have to come over and do it." Evil
IDENTIFY the trunk resisted their combined
efforts, for the Clergyman never saw them after
wards.
In one instance the clergyman, upon going
to residence to perform the marriage cere-
mony, found the contracting parties and their
guest all seated in the perlor Enthusiastically
| waiting his arrival. In a low tone he re-
quested them to rise; but the groom was ner.
Vous, the bride distracted, and neither heard
the request He repeated it in a somewhat
louder tone of voice, but the result was the
same. Then one of the spectators reached
forward and giving the groom G. poke in the
back whispered loud enough to be heard all
over the room, "Git up, Gill, git up"
One day, as the old white-haired minister
was writing In his study, a servant came in
with the announcement that a couple were
outside who wished to be married He told
her to admit them, and in they came, three
pairs of them, and all arm in arm. 1t was
impossible to decide which of them was the
pair who came to be made one, but selecting
the most confused looking couple, he com.
menced the ceremony. All went we'll until il
came to the charge: eff there be any among
you who knows of any reason why this couple
should not be joined in wedock let him now
speak, or forever hold his peace" Here the
usual brief pause was made, but was quickly
terminated by the groom calculating, in a sup.
pressed voice, go on, parson, go on. There
amt no reason, and won't stand any such
foolishness nOwr'-Detroit Free Press.