Delaware state journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1870-1883, 1881-03-17
HERE AND IN ERE.

pell- knife 'that Is III years old.
The musical festival is over, and Gin
cinnati brewers are cutting down expens, ).
1t was Connecticut minister whose
salary was S25 year and half the fish he
caught.
1t is not possible for three people to
Keep the same secret unless two of them
are dead.
The lazy boy fears that if he once
begins to earn his own living he will he
always expected to do it.
One reason why you haven't heard any
thing OF Dennis Kearney of late is because
nobody wants to hear him.
The clam-eyed Celestials who are now
in this country consider washing the
highest grade of civilization, as it pays.
Better late than never" if applied to
going for train, is incorrect, as a man
has only so much extra trouble by going
Put away our sisters bangles,
She is sleeping on the hill,
And her hair no longer tangles
In the vest of cousin viii.
An Indian chief, after the romantic
manner of his nation, calls his musket
Book agent" because it is an old smooth
bore.
Brigham Young acquired the title of
general from having been called "Brigsy
dear" so often by his numerous wives. =
Puck,
At public breakfast in Scotland
Joseph Cook said that he intended to
visit India to preach the truth to the
Hindoos.
Artemus Ward once commenced lee
ture thus; Ladies' and gentlemen,
possess gigantic intellect, but haven't
it with me-.
Gentlemen sleeping in hacks during
the inauguration were expected to hang
their boots cut at the windows as signals
of occupancy.
One hundred and twenty young men,
who went to Denver to pick up mines in
the street, responded to an advertisement
for light cook.
The "Poets' Corner" OF the Mitchell
Public Library at Glasgow contains at
present the works OF l ,222 Scottish poets
and verse writer's.
With All excess of %, ,053 women over
men in New York city it is really
surprising that the city is as quiet as it
ls.-4N. 4. Com. 1dt.
4 weekly religious paper says that a
gambler is not man. Then he must be
quadruped, because he sometimes goes
ON all iours.-P. 1. Man.
1t is the quaint Butler who says that
an opinionated man is generally as
obstinate as a wooden leg without joints
there is no bend in him.
1.-The churches burn, but the mortgages
are fire proof, sighs high religious
authority in bewailing the confusion
caused by fire and finance.
1t is remarked that no representative OF
the leading public schools was found
among the first six wranglers at Cam
bridge in the list lately issued. ..-.
1t is said that when Alexander H..
Stephens goes skating he always ties .
knot in his coat-tails to save himself
from falling through an air-hole.
You can tell mercifu farmer as soon
as he stops his team at post He takes
the blanket oil his wif.s lap and spreads
it over the poor horses.-Letrod Free
Press.
Did you ever notice how much more
you walk on the foot with the corn on it
than on the other one! You hardly
notice the other one at all.-RARadeiphia
Bulletin.
management Of the world S fair, - is
troubling New Workers just now. 1t is a
problem Adam struggled with when there
was only one worlds fair, and she got the
best of him.
In certain parts of Germany the peas
"A "a l,,
1t isn't considered good luck in this
country, that is, if it is in the car and
you want II seat.-Boston Transcript.
Karl Gerhardt, Hartford draughts-
man, modelled SO fine figure of his wife
in clay that Mark Twain and Charles
Dudley Warner have sent him to Europe
for education in sculpture.
The big whale is on exhibition in the
Western cities, and, as it has been dead
about two months, is great curiosity.
Folks who have seen it, come out pre-
pared to swear there is no smell to Linn
burger cheese.
George Alfred Townsend bitches Judge
Folger on to the ancestral lineage of Ben
iamin Franklin. Give Townsend two
names and he can survey family line
| tight DdCh 10 w lllldlH lue IOHlut
without winking Boston Post.
Tom Davis had some photographs
taken at GAINESVILLE, Ohio, and gave one
to Lizzie Murray in the presence of Ida
Bridwell, who wanted one, too. Tom
would not part with another picture, and
Ida at once committed suicide,
The preparations now heing made for
emigration to the United States in various
villages and provincial districts of
Germany indicate that the influx to our
shores in the next II months may be
greater than even that of last year.
"Sir," said vainglorious actor to
Charles Kean at the Brighton Theatre
during a rehearsal, 'you need not trouble
yourself about me | know the play
backwards" "Probably you do" was
the reply but that is not the way |
play it, ".". ...-.... .....
Preparations When Mrs. B. started
for Paris she said to her aunt, practical
lady 81 shall bring you back shawl.
| Now, what color would you like '' The
aunt, after reflection: "Black and white,
my child-your poor uncle is so sick, -
Paris Figaro.
Said an old plumber of a young rival ::
''rhat boy is inexperienced. He'll ruin
the trade. Why, he had the job of pip
| ing a new house and he went and packe
the pipes so the chances are three to one
against the frost's ever getting at 'em.
Such bunglers ought not be allowed to
work.
Magnanimous Gilhooly Gilhooly had
the misfortune to call the swell Colonel
| Snifter Captain Snifter. "l beg your
pardon. Colonel Snifter, if you please
not Captain Snfter." "Oh, never mind,
Captain Snifter, you need not beg my
pardon at all. 1t is not your fault, "
replied Gilhooly, magnanimously.-
reSton NelcS.
Francis Hopkins, of New York has
patented an improvement in eye glasses,
the object of which is to obtain firmer
grip upon the nose, without lightning the
spring, to prevent the glasses slipping
on the nose. The invention fills long
felt want. The practice of driy ing q
tack in the bridge of the nose to retain
the glasses in place had its drawbacks
Noristopn Herald.
She sits within her narrow cell,
A jewel worth a fairer setting,
And IL linger for spell,
| My urgent telegram forgetting.
! love the saunders CHEEKY call,
! love to watch the dimples playing
Above her fingers, white and small
| wonder what that hand is saying
love to dream of other years,
OF blessings that perhaps await her