The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1881-03-22
About Editors.

"Tales for the Little Folks"
Having in the two preceding lessons, chill
dren, told you about reporters, let us see what
can be learned about editors. There are diff
ferent kinds of editors. The editor-in-chief
sits in room all by himself, but he doesn't
have such an easy time as you may think.
People who want offices come to see him. He
says to each one: "Are you true to the old
flag, and will you do what we want you to af-
ter you are elected?" If the man says yes, the
editor-in-chief writes an article saying that
the country is on the brink of crisis, that the
glorious Constitution is the palladium of our
liberties, and that the only way out of the
woods is to elect the sterling patriot and self
sacrificing hero, Mr.. =, to the Office of Con-
stable. When yon get to be editors, boys, and
want to write an article that will make things
hum, be sure to ring in something about the
palladium of liberty. 1t is not libelous, and
reads pretty. After the editor-in-chief has
read all the papers except his own, he tells the
other editors what to write about Once very
cultured and aesthetic editor in Boston didn't
like a speech that Ben Butler had made in
Congress, and so he said to another editor who
had recently come from Montana, "You might
touch up Butler a little tomorrow and mildly
criticise his course" So the new editor wrote
an article beginning: "If that cock-eyed vic
tim of strabismus, Ben Butler, doesn't quit Bit
ing off more than he can chew, somebody
should send him new pair OF ears. His pres
ent ones are a little too small for a donkey"
The next day the new editor said to the editor
in-chief: How did handle old Ben? When
you want the fur knocked off of those Con-
gressmen come to me-" The editor-in-chief
looked at him steadily for awhile, and then
said the cashier had his money all ready for
him in an envelope down stairs.
The managing editor has to read all the cor
respondence, see that the man in the next room
has his letters from Paris and London finished
by Friday night SO that they will be ready for
Sundays paper, look after all the poetry that is
sent in, and keep an eye on things generally
Managing editors hire other editors and report
ers. Once young man in Kokomo concluded
that he would like to assume prominent place
in metropolitan journalism, so he came to Chi
cago and asked managing editor if they were
sin want of any hands," "Are you Journal
| ist?" asked the managing editor. THAT'S what
1 am, boss, and don't let it elude your retentive
memory" was the reply. He kept on talking
| long while, and finally the editor said: You
must be an awfully strong man." "Why?"
| asked the Kokomo man. Because" said the
| editor, ''you act as though you wouldn't drop
| if a house fell on you" The young man then
! went back to Kokomo.
| Poets are funny people and bother editors a
| good deal. A female poet once came into the
| office of a Chicago paper and handed the edi-
tor some manuscript, which she requested him
| to read. 1t was pretty tough, but he waded
| along until he got to a place where the poetess
said "And should your love fail mo L care
| not whether the morrow comes for me or not"
SIS that all right?" said the editor. "Oh, yes,"
| replied the poetess. "Then," said the editor,
kindly, but firmly, you had better hustle
around, for it is after ii O'Clock now, and if the
morrow is coming for you it will be here in
| precisely forty-six minutes, and no woman ev-
er got ready to go anywhere in less than that
| time" This editor was a married man.