The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1881-04-29
5Misccl lancnus.
Tommy fuckers Horseshoe.

Tommy Tucker lives on n farm" in the
city of New York, near the Central Park
Some people make fun of Tommy's way of
living, and call his place the ''sunken lots, y
and say his family are squatters but it makes
very little difference to Tommy what remarks
were made about his home or his people, so
long as they were happy. And they were
happy for very long time, so happy that
they didn't know what it was to be misera-
bic, and it makes wonderful difference TO
be able to tell one from the other Up to the
beginning of this winter they had the long
est run of luck on record in any family in
that neighborhood. A long while since, a
horse had been turned out to die in a lot near
the fuckers. 1t wasn't such q very old
horse, but it was dreadfully sick, and some
thing was the matter with its windpipe, so
that Mr.. Tucker heard it Wheeling away
while he was at work on the farm He had
n very kind heart, and always did what he
could for poor dumb creatures, as well as
those that could tell what was the matter
with them; and what with kind treatment
and II wonderful skill Mr.. Tucker had with
animals, that horse came around so that you'd
hardly know it from a spirited charger of
Mr.. Crpsus-a gentleman who lives up in
that neighborhood. 1t grew so strong that it
was able to drag cart-load of vegetables
down town to Mr. fuckers customers, and
Mr.. Tucker was able to put another lot or
two under cultivation. And if the lots were
alittle rough and sunken, it was very pretty
to see them full of green things a-growing."
up to this last winter there was almost al
ways something to sell, and pretty soon after
Mr.. Tucker cured his horse he got a COW -
She wasn't first class cow when Mr. Tucker
first traded OIL some pigs for her, and gave
some silver to boot out of Mother fuckers
stocking. What little milk she had seemed
to be turned to gall and even that couldn't
be got from her until she was tied to the side
of the house; then she would have kicked the
whole mansion down if it hadn't been
founded on n rock like the wise mans house
Mr.. Tucker read about in the Bible. Mr..
Tucker and Tommy think there are only two
books worth reading in the whole world one
is the Bible, and the other is Robinson Cru
soc. Tommy hadn't minded depending on
his goats for milk, because it seemed so much
like Crusoe's way of living, but Mrs. Tucker
and Tommys three little brothers liked cows
milk the BEST for one thing, there was so
much more of it, and Tommy's three little
brothers had such excellent appctites For
Mr.. fuckers wisdom extended to the udders
of the COW, and pretty soon she was almost
as good as an Attorney COW around the cor
ner, so called, Mr.. Tucker said, because she
belonged to an Alderman,
Tommy fuckers family prospered exceed
ingly. The horse drew more and more veoe-
etabes to market, the COW gave more and
more milk, the hens laid more and more tggs.
and the CHEEKY chnk in Mother fuckers
stocking became more and more musical to
the ear, until the last winter set in. Then
the Tucker luck which was provcrbial in
that neighborhood, suddenly took an evil
turn.
First, and worst, Mr. Tucker fell on the
ice and broke his leg You may know it
was particular kind of ice that could bring,
MIR. Tucker down. 1t was about dozen
layers thick, and very treacherous. The
winter had closed in some time before i'm a
very unusual way. 1t was bitter cold, day
in and day out the heavens opened, and the
snow fell, and opened again, and more snow
came down, and kept ON opening, and more
snow kept falling, until the familiar gullies
were all filled up, and the country around
there grew white and level and changed, so
that Tommy wondered sometimes if the
world had lost its reckoning, and stopped
turning when it reached the north pole.
And it gave Tommy a dreadful sickly feel
ing TO know that his fathers leg c0uM break.
1t wasn't natural to see him lying on the bed
in the corner, when he had always been up
and doing Nothing ever seemed so far gone
that his father couldn't fetch it around, and
1t shook Tommy's confidence considerably to
see the obstinacy of that leg. Tommy had
always gone to bed before his father, and his
father had always got up before Tommy, so
that it was new experience TO Tommy to
see his father down.
1t took the heart out of all of them, and
everything went wrong. 1t went on freez-
ing, showing and blowing outside; and do
what Tommy could, the live stock began to
give out. That charity waif of horse yield
ed to the weakness in .his windppe again,
and sprawled his legs and hung his head in
the most ungrateful way the COW went dry
two Of the best pigs got ost-bitten, so that
their squeal mingled with the melancholy
soughing of the north wind around the Tuck
er mansion; and the hens wouldn't lay an
egg for Mr.. Tucker, though the doctor had
particularly ordered it.
And about that doctor: Tommy used to
dread to see him come, for instead of bright
ching things up he made them gloomier. He
took some of the CHEEKY chink out of Mother
fuckers stocking every time he came, and
Mr.. Tucker seemed none the better for it,
but lay with his face to the wall for hours to-
gether, and wouldn't read any book in the
Bible but job; and Tommy's three little
brothers went on eating just the same us
when milk1wds plenty and times were good.
The music iii Mother fuckers stocking
got away down othe, toe; and one morning,
when Mr. Tucker had no appetite for any
thing, and Tommy's three little brothers had
an appetite for everything, even their moth
er's poor share of what was left, Tommy saw
the shadow ola big wolf called Hunger
prowling around the door. SILL and out he ran
up and down theroad, frightened, andsobbing
as if his heart would break. lie thought no.
thing of the poor shivering brutes that were
left to his care, or thought they might as
well all starve together. Luck was against
them; there was no use trying any more |;
when, all at once, over in the middle of the
road, he saw through his binding tears some.
thingTound and shining, 1t. wasn'ta gold