The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1881-05-07
SOPRANO VS.. TENOR.


We have none Of our own.
SOPRANO VS.. TENOR.
A Little Story About Naughty But Nice
Church Choir.
You may organize church choir and
think you have got il down fine, and
that every member Of it is pious and full
Of true goodness, and in such moment
as you think not you will find that one
or more of them are full of the old
Harry, and it will break out when you
least expect it. There is no more beat
tiful sight to the student of nature than
a church choir. To see the members
sitting together, demure, devoted and
pious looking, you think there is never
4 thought enters their mind that is not
connected with singing anthems, but
sometimes you get left. There is one
church in Milwaukee that is about as
near perfect as choir can be. Ii has
been organized for a long time, and
never has quarrelled, and the congrega-
ton swcars by it. When the choir
strikes 4 devotional attitude it is enough
to make an ordinary Christian think OF
the angel band above, only the men
wear whiskcrs and the females wear
fashionable clothes.
You could not think that this choir
played tricks on each other during the
sermon, but sometimes they do. The
choir is furnished with the numbers oi
the hymns that are to be sung, by the
minister, and they put book-mark in
the book at the proper place. One
morning they all got up to sing, when
the soprano turned pale as an ace OF
spades dropped out Of her hymn book,
the alto nearly tainted when queen ol
kc--is tropped at her feet, and the rest
Of the pack was distributed around in
the other books. They laid it on to
the tenor, but he swore, while the min.
lister was preaching, that he didn'i
know one card from another.
One morning last summer, after the
tenor had been playing tricks all the
spring on the rest of the choir, the So
prano brought a chunk of shoemaker
wax to church. The tenor was arraycd
like Solomon in all his glory, with white
pants and Seymour coat. The tenor
got up to see who the girl was who
came in with the old lady, and while he
was up the soprano put the shoemaker
wax on the chair, and the tenor sal
down on it. They all saw it, and they
waited for the result. II was an awful
long prayer, and the church was hot,
the tenor was no iceberg himself, and
shoemaker's wax melts at ninety-eigh,
degrees Fahrenheit. The minister final.
ly got to the amen, and read hymn,
the choir coughed, and all rose up
The chair that the tenor was in stuck &c
him like brother and came right along
and nearly broke his suspenders. l,
was the tenor to bat, and as the great
organ struck up he pushed the chair of
Of his person, looked around TO see i
he had saved his pants, and began to
sing, and the rest Of the choir came
near bursting. The tenor was called
out on three strikes by the umpire, and
the alto had to sail in and while she wa.
singing the tenor had to feel Of frs,
base to see what was the matter. When
he got his hand on the shoemakcr's S wa,
his heart smote him and he looked dag
gers at the soprano, but she put on {
pious look and got her mouth ready &c
sing "Hold the Fort" Well, the tenol
sat down on white handkerchief before
he went home, and he got home with
out anybody seeing him, and he ha:
been, as the saying is, "laying" for the
soprano ever since to get even.
II is customary in all first class choir.
for the male singers to furnish cand,
for the lady singers, and the other day
the tenor went to a candy factory anC
had peppermint lozenger made will
about half teaspoonful Of cayenne
pepper in the centre Of it. On Christ
mas he took his lozenger to church anC
concluded to get even with the soprano
if he died for it. Candy had beer
passed around, and just before the hymn
was given out in which the soprano wa
to sing a solo, "Nearer my God tC
Thee" the wicked wretch gave her the
loaded lozenger. She nibbled off tn,
edge, and was rolling it as sweet NOR
sci under her tongue, when the organ
struck up, and they all arose. While
the choir was skirmishing on the frs
part Of the verse and getting scored uI
for the solo, she chewed what wa!
left Of the candy and swallowed it,
Well il Democratic torch light pro
cession had marched unbidded dowr
her throat she couldn't have been AM
more astonished. She leaned over 4
pick up her handkerchief, and spit thu
candy out, but there was enough pep
per lefs around the selvage Of her moutl
to have picked peck Of chow chow
Il was her turn to sing, and she ros'
and took the book, her eyes filed will
tears, her voice trembled, her face wa
as red as spanked lobster, and the wa,
she sang that old hymn was caution
With a sweet tremulo she sang "Neare
my God to Thee" and the congrega
| ton was melted TO tears. As she stop