National Republican. (Washington City (D.C.)) 1872-1888, 1881-04-19
Mrs. Harris.

VINO was always DelDg quoted by Salrey
Camp in support of her own great merits.
The redder Sairey's nose became and the
more watery her eye the more frequently
she referred to what Mrs. Harris had said
as proof of her own virtue, industry, and
soundness Of opinion. Who can forget
the unhappy night when the worthy
Mrs. Camp had an excited talk with Bet
sey Prigg, in the midst of which her
usual reference to Mrs. Harris was met
with the stunning declaration by Betsey
al don't believe there's any such per-
son?" We have our Sairey Camps
of the press, and they have their Mrs.
Harrises. How clear this becomes in the
light of last weeks clatler about caucus
| of Republican Senators! Mrs. Camp, of
the Ereniag Str, was big with her knowl-
edge of the coming event. She did not
ask You to believe it on her statement
alone. Dear me. no! But it was, "Says
Mrs. Harris. says she, Sairey, says
She" This was the spirit of her begin
ming, but in fact she said: Some of the
Republican Senators say" and "a promi-
nent Republican Senator said," and the
Republican Senators generally are of the
opinion" and SO ON, in varied form,
until one wondered how Republican Sem
ators ever got time to do anything else but
hold conversations with the male Sairey
Camp of the Star who labors SO assidu-
ously fora Democratic Senate official. The
news given in the Star went on the wings
of the lightning to the uttermost parts of
the country, and great was the pother.
The things which the political Mrs.
Harris had communicated as sure to oc-
cur whenthe caucus should be held were
everywhere accepted as facts accom-
plished, and the country settled down to
the same as best it could.
But Monday came and went, and no
caucus was held. None had been con-
templated or talked of. The Republican
Senators who had informed the veracious
Star reporter were political Mrs. Harrises,
and the readers of that bright journal
appear to have been simply imposed upon.
Such is newsi
The Post had a presidential Mrs. Harris
to feed its readers On wonders. The
caucus it called was at the bidding of
some mythical president, who differed in
toto from President Garfield, and. who
seems also to have been a Mrs. Harris.
Yetanother case-the New York World
correspondent had a blood-curdling tele-
gram in Sundays issue Of his paper,
which stated on authority of Demo-
cratic Senator that the editor of this
paper was to be made mincemeat of on
the next day in the open Senate. This
the H0rld's Sairey Camp declared was on
account of the editors imperence," or
words to that effect. We sauntered into
the Senate Chamber at noon yesterday
with an assumption of Indifference, en-
deavoring to appear as though we
rather enjoyed knouts and bastinadoes.
As one after another of the Democratic
may we not venture to say Bourbon p
Senators arose and addressed the chair
the goose-pimples asserted themselves OH
our flesh and a wave of cold air pulled at
the roots o. our hair A friend handed
us Mondays HorLd, in which the terrible
warning was reiterated. ct appears in
another column Of this issue.) Mrs.
Camp said no word of unkindness herself
in her first or second telegram but, oh
dear! wasn't her Mrs. Harris (the Demo-
cratic Senator) mad at us? We listened
for the voice Of the irate Senator
who was to destroy us. There never
came word; and when adjournment
came and the Worlds statement was
found to be mere hoax we concluded
that the Democratic Senator who was 60
ing to annihilate the mild and conserva-
tive writer of these lines was political
Mrs. Harris and that there was no such
person.
In war times the reliable contra
band Z" was ever confding to the pub
lie some pretended fact. In political
contests "a distinguished politician"
has just been giving party secret for
publication. But when Congress is in
session, or the Senate, then the gifted ro-
mancers of the period turn you off for fif-
teen dollars week the rarest knowledge,
freshly gathered from Senator'S, Cabinet
officers, and even higher functionaar..11ss .1s
Well, it all reads well, and as from day
to day eaHh silly tale is exploded another
takesits place, suffering nothing in its
publishers estimation because of the false
character of its predecessor. The things
that never occur, and which it was known
when announced would never occur, are
tolerated-nay, are read with inter-
est. THE REPUBLICAN has no Mrs. Harris.