The Hickman courier. [volume] (Hickman, Ky.) 1859-current, 1881-10-07
HUMORs OF THE DAY.

WAS Ewes first dress made of bear
skin?
U NATURALLY look P Qliar if Q RC
d and going to ID K.-Biu Nye.
IN SOME hats the cabbage leaf must
feel perfectly at home Quincy Modern
ArgO.
INQUIRE Tie most horrible suicide
on records is that of the man who took a
drink of Chicago water-BostoH Post.
Ny father Irish,
My mother Irish,
-Ionkey's ss0tesmaa-
IT WAS probably an Irish missionary
who, when about to be masticated by
the cannibals, originated that beautiful
song
WHEH vou lose a needle on the floor,
the quickest way to find it is to take off
your shoes and walk about But some
how people don't do that way.
/" GEsrIcULATIoN,' says an emineHt
actor, "is fast becoming a lost art y he
probably never saw Talmage fencing
with an imaginary lobster. - Herald
p. l.
AN Albany paper tells Of woman IN
this city who woke her husband during
storm and said: II do wish You would
stop snoring, for want 10 hear it thun-
der +"
"CoNFoUNI2 it you've shot the dog
/ thought you told me you could hold
gun" Pat Shure, and so / can, your
honor. It's the shot, sor, 1 couldn't
houlsi y
A BAD-TEBIFERED MAN: He had lost his
knife and they asked him the usual
question "Do you know where you lost
it?' Yes, yes, /" he replied, s'of course l
do I'm merely hunting in these other
| places for ii to kill time.
Nor every man can tell from exper-
ience how it feels to he struck by light
ming, but he can get some idea of it by
going suddenly around a corner and
meeting his mother-in-law while he is
walking with a pretty girl. - Boston
Post
A KEoKUK man succeeded in hugging
his sweetheart to death. But he has no
trouble in finding others. The girls
seem rather anxious to take their chances
on his hugging them to death. They
don't belive he can do it; would just like
! to see him try it.
An IRISH lady was so much on her
guard against betraying her national ac-
cent that she is reported to have spoken
] Of the 'credtl0e of Vesuvius," fearing
that the crater would betray her again.
albany Journal. She finds her paral-
lei in the Yankee who speaks of the pill
toi0s of a portico.
WHEN corpulent citizen endeavors to
Jump off the dummy of one of our cable
roads while on the down grade and falls
on the track in the front of the wheels
nothing gives him so much genuine sat
isfation as, just when he is about to be
crushed to pulp, to wake up and find
himself on the floor beside his own bed.
San Francisco Post.
How pestering little things will hap
pen. A stranger in Middlesex County
village was looking for a man named
Ondeck, and when he went up to a fel
low and asked care you Ondeck?' the
fellow answered. 81 reckon l am. " an6
the stranger tried to talk business to bin
and they got all mixed mp in a misunder
standing and had to be parted by the
bystanders before they got through Anc
it was all on account of that confoundeo
name Boston Post.
ENGLISH social life presents many
points of interests in its slang We have
all probably read the anecdote of I
Young American lady IN England mot {
''fair Barbarian, either who, while play
ing crockett. exclaimed at a surprisingly
fortunate shot of an opposing player
ooh what a horrid scratch : where
upon a young English lady remarked
"You shouldn't use such language, 1T
= ~ '4-r'->eWell, what should ] =
EDss0~ Is .raezssor' Oll4=wbO
'atroHage espee1-NcfG orleans Tim