The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1881-06-01
VARIETIES.

Whoever SENDS IN nVe Iull pald up
subscriptions will get the paper free.
Pride is not a bad thing when it
only urges us to hide our hurt-not
to hurt Others George Elliot.
The meanest man in the country
lives in Missouri. He pleaded in a
breach OF promise suit that contract
made on Sunday night was not bind
ing.
Keep up with the procession of life,
young man; close up to the band. 1t
you ever fall to the rear, where the
elephants are, you are apt to get trod
on.
The giraffe has never been known
to utter a sound. In this respect
it resembles young lady in a street
car when gentleman gives up his
seat.
Persons who know about such mat
tiers say it seldom or never happens
that two persons Of opposite sexes
are equally much in love with each
other at the same time
Miss Bette Green, of Forsyth
county, Ala. has two silk dresses,
which she made herself, having raised
the worms, spun the silk, colored and.
wove it with her own hands.
Won't some chemist invent face
powder that does not contain lead
and tastes good. Our young men
are all dying OF lead poisoning, and
kissing is going out of fashion.
Teacher--"Has the fire any gen.
der?" PupiI-"Yes, feminine"
Teacher-"What makes you think
so 2" "Because 1 heard mamma tell
papa not to hug the fire."
Fellow citizens" said temper
ance lecturer, "a few evenings ago 1
saw one of your neighbors i'll saloon
with sling in his hand and the next
day saw him in the streets with his
hand in sling"
In speaking of a newly welded
pair, a gentleman said of the husband,
THE trouble with John is, he has no
| mind of his owu." "Oh, that will
make no difference Sarah will al
ways be ready to give him a piece of
hers !" responded lady.
knowledge is not wisdom; it is
only the raw material from which the
beautiful fabric of wisdom is pro-
duced. Each one, therefore, should
not spend his days in gathering ma
terials, and SO live and die without
shelter.
Ambition makes the same mistake
concerning power that avarice does
concerning wealth; she begins by
accumulating power as a means OF
happiness, and she finishes by con.
tinuing to accumulate it as an end
Lacon.
A.little Boston girl called one of
her dolls, little jointless creature,
her 'woman's rights doll" "But why
do you call her so ?" asked her aunt,
lecturer upon the much discussed
question. ooh, cause, Aunt X" the
child answered, "she's just like you;
she can't never sit down and be COM
Portable"
Little Pearl sat thoughtfully re-
garding a long row OF dolls before
her, her tiny head harassed by all the
care of a large and varied family.
"Mamma," she said at last, II can't
ever be really married; 1t is SO much
trouble to take care Of the children.
| don't know what l should do if it
weren't that Pm going to marry off
my Oldest doll to my toy elephant"
When a man wants to enlist in the
army of China, his courage is sub
iected to a very unusual test. The
recruiting officer places the candidate
in a chair and proceeds TO extract a
tooth, and the conduct OF the patient
under this ordeal is said to decide
this question as TO his fitness for the
military service of the empire. If he
bowls and jumps up and down, he is
pronounced unfit but if he smiles
and exhibits generally feeling of
satisfaction, he secures a permanent
| place in the ranks.
A gentleman had five daughters,
the first Of whom marie man by
| the name Of Poor, the second Mr..
Little, the third Mr.. Short, the
fourth Mr.. Brown, the fifth Mr..
Hogg. AT the wedding Of the latter
her sisters with their husbands were
there, and the old gentleman said to