Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1881-02-19
THE DAILY RECORD-UNI0N.
COWS TEETH.
Appalling Ignorance Stalking Through
the Land
TPeck's Milwaukee Sun.

jackson street man, if COWS had any front
teeth on their upper jaw. The jackson
street man was a little astonished at the
question, as there had been nothing said
about cows, but replied promptly:
"Why, of course they have front teeth
on their upper jaw how could they bite
off grass if they hadn't"
The Van Buren, street man said it was
not question of logic, but a question of
fact and if the Jackson street man did not
know whether COWS had front teeth on
their upper Jaw or not he ought to say So
81 did not ask you for your opinion, he
he said 50 1 asked if you knew"
The Jackson-street man was little net
tied at this, and replied with some
warmth He said if he had child three
years old who would ask such question as
that. he should be afraid the child was an
idiot.
"You would?"
''I certainly should.
''Then, said the Van Buren-street man,
<'as it is such simple question, of course
YOU can tell me whether COWS have got
front teeth on their upper jaws, or whether
they have not
g Why, Of course they have.
"They have, eh'"
YES"
"Iu bet you $40 they haven't" said
the Van Buren-street citizen, pulling out
roll of bills and peeling off couple of
fives, and shaking them at his neighbor.
60 Put up or shut up.
"There Is some internal catch about
this thing, said the other, suspiciously.
g / might have known it, too, the minute
YOU asked me such an internal idiotlc ques-
ton"
'No catch at all about it. replied the
other, g # COWS have got front teeth on
their upper jaws the SO is yours. If they
haven't the money is mine. Nothing
could be better than that, could there?"
But still the Jackson-street man hest
tated. 1t was barely possible that COWS
did not have any front teeth on their upper
Jaws. He remembered, then, that cows,
in biting off grass, always threw their
noses outward, while horses nipped it off
by Jerking their noses inward. He was
astonished at how near he had come to be-
ing victimized, but he did not like to come
down. The two were then near the meat
market near the corner of Jackson and
Michigan streets, and the Jackson-street
man was sure that butcher would know
for certain whether or not cows had front
teeth on their upper jaws; so he pushed
open the door and said to the proprietor:
Linehan, have cows got front teeth on
heir upper jaws p
Linehan was running a skewer through
roast of beef, but he stopped, looking up
in ast oaishment, and said
"What p
"Have cows got front teeth on their
MINER laws -
"Cows :"
Eyes"
Cot front teeth on their upper jaws ?"
- Yes"
Upon my word 1 don't know
- You don't know
"No. You see L buy my beef by the
quarter at the slaughter house, and don't
have anything to do with the heads But
can find out for you when 60 over
&c l wish you would.
So the Jackson-street man closed the
door and reioined his neighbor, and the
two walked along without saying word.
"A milk.wagon was seen coming up the
street, and it was resolved to hail the driver
and ask him the question, as it is popularity
supposed that milkmen are more or less
familiar with cows. The Van Buren-street
citizen cleared his throat and yelled
Hello !" The milkman ruined up and
said
eco ahead with your tests. II you find
any water or chalk in that milk I'll give
you the whole of it.
The citizen told him to be calm, as they
had no intention of testing his milk, but
only wanted to know if cows had front
teeth in their upper Jaws.
The mil l,D1an looked AZ them abOut n
minute, and then whipped up his horses
and drove off, mentioning some kind of
fool that they were. Up on Wisconsin
street they saw another milkman deliver
ing milk, and overtaking him they ex-
planned the dispute. He smiled pityingly
upon their ignorance, and said
"Of course cows have front teeth on
their upper jaws-a driveling idiot ought
to know that much. A COW would be
handsome looking object without front
teeth In her upper jaw, wouldn't she -
I've concluded to take that bet of
yours, said the Jackson-street man to the
other Come now, down with your dust
Put up or shut up.
"Why didn't you do it when you had
chance I never claimed to know whether
a COW had front teeth on her upper jaw or
not l only thought had read so some
where, and asked to see if you knew about
it for certain. But now that the thing is
settled, there is nothing to bet on as l can
see.
''Oh, of course not, said the jackson
street man, sarcastically; "of course
not.
Just then Mr. Clark, of the Newhall
house, happened along, and as the milkman
picked up his lines and drove off, the Van
Buren, street man asked Mr.. Clark if he
knew anything about COWS. Mr.. Clark
said he did, having formerly been farmer
and a cattle buyer.
"Well," said the Van Buren, streeter,
60 do you know got the queerest idea into
my head this morning about COWS that a
man ever had. Somehow or other | got
the idea that cows had no front teeth in
their upper jaws; and 1 actually offered to
bet 81 with this man that such was the
case. | don see what possessed me.
"Well, if you had bet you would have
won the money, said Mr.. Clark.
'sWhat p" exclaimed both the citizens
together.
II say If you had bet you would have
won the money, for cows have no front
teeth ON their upper jaws.
''Sweet spirit hear my prayer, said the
Van Burer street citizen, as he brought
ont his roll and peeled the two fives again
and shook them at the Jacksoz-street man,
who turned away with a sickly smile and
said he could not always be pulling out his
money!
Ignorance seems to be stalking through
the land like a Kansas grasshopper on
stills.
The FLAME OF A CANDLE.-The different
parts of common candle.fame are well
worth study, and teach US much. If you
carefully look at the fame of candle
burning steadily you will see that the fame
consists of three PARTS I. A blue.