The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1881-07-06
4 STORY OF THE oLDEN TIME.

An ancient manuscript, damp and mold
(Found in the ruins Of Troy, I'm told,.
Contains in its pages yellow and old
The curious tale which I now unfold.
'Tis written in language quaint, unique,
A mixture Of Hebrew, Gaelic and Greek,
With a smattering here and q sprinkllng there
Of Turkey Gobbler and Russian Bear,
The work Of translating it was immense,
Involving unlimited care and expense,
But well and faithfully was it done,
And here, of the many strange tales ls one.
About three thousand years ago
las the date of the manuscript goes TO snow,
There dwelt in the village of Hoptoki
A beautiful maiden, Miss Ososhy.
Fair she was as the radiant dawn;
1.-the and graceful as bounding faWn;
Eyes of blue and teeth like pearls,
A wealth Of lovely golden curls-
In fact, a paragon Of girls.
Perfection was barely out Of her reach,
For she'd an impeachment in her speech
Not a stammer or s%tutter, but stranger still,
Her tongue ran loosely against her will.
Whatever she said, no matter when,
IN fifteen minutes she'd say it again.
AS a matter of course, the afflicted maid
Wassyery careful of what she said
tAIlu WtlCu ElC EalA y y . cae JSA~ -
And beautiful couldn't contlo Of her tongue
She had to chatter-all women do;
They'd perish if not permitted to.
One day her brother, q ten-year-old,
Plagued her until she began to scold.
She flew in u passion, ind pulled his nose
And tunbled him over and spanked his clothes
Right where they were widest, and all the while
She scoIded away in true feminine style.
The words she uttered [ can't repeat,
But they Were more emphatic than sweet.
Within ten minutes her lover came,
And when the servant announced his nsme,
Forgetting the scene that had taken place,
She blushingly HE'D to his fond embrace.
On Bonded knee, her adorer cried:
ssUh, darling! wilt thou be my bride
Iloye thee madly; for thee I'd die,
My beautiful, peerless Ososhy!"
Alas for the lover who humbly sueis
Alas Tor the maiden he thusly Wooedy
The fifteen minutes had come at last,
And the maiden shrieked like a thunder-blast:
lyon wall-eyed leper from Amsterdam!
You uule-eyei fraud! you kiln-dried hant
Git off,n that floor, Or I'll bust your brow
With a kick like q mule-git up right noW!f
With amazement depicted on his face, "
The youth arose in remarkable haste
And said, in tones of deep regret:
Had Heaven been kind, we meier had met!
To Judge of your language to me, tits clear
You belong to another and warmer sphere.
thought you laved me. Alas! how mad
no vearn for O heart that is wholly bad"
sI love thee!" the naided cried, and then
The fateful spell was on her again.
waltz out of this ranch! y she wildly whooped,
Before your hide is eternally scooped!
I'm a Calling gun! I'm q house afire!
I'm worse than a bundle Of red-hot wire!
III climb your back like q whippoorWil,
And chaw you up like 8 rolling mill!
You hear me chirrup. Git out, / say"
And then the maiden tainted away.
The following morn the youth was found.
A suicide, on the CORY ground;
And when the maiden heard it, she sighed,
Then wept, then pined away and De-
There are plenty Of womhn whose tongues run wild,
Especially when they're a tritie ''riled."
If you can't speak pleasantly, pray keep still
And if Heaven don't bless you, your neighbors will.