Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1881-09-01
IN A NUT SHELL.

neP' of corn.
A dangerous character-a man who
takes life" cheerfully.
A Philadelphia temperance society
has adopted for its motto: 'Be just and
beer not"
When is a lover justified in calling
MS sweetheart "honey?" When she is
bee loved.
Men are like pins-one with little
head may be just as sharp as one with
big head.
An editor without backbone don't
amount to much. It's his principal
column, you know.
Fourth of July is also a Decoration
Day, the decorations consisting of court
plaster and bandages.
1t is peculiar the awful veneration
which the small boy has for cOmpan-
ion whose father is policeman.
"Nhat is love-" It's a feeling that
you don't want any other fellow going
round with her.
Nobody likes to be the subject of a
put up JOB, and yet few will decline an
umbrella on rainy day.
Miss Hardness, who won the prize in
Paris for violin playing, is the daughter
of Boston news carrier.
A Connecticut woman has given her
son large comforter made of hair cut
from her own head during ten years.
Patti wears false hair, having lost a
large part of the natural growth. Her
black braids are selected with great
care in Paris.
A San Francisco trick is to neatly
cover good silver coin with tinfoil,
and induce an expert to bet that it is a
counterfeit
MY Darling's Shoes" is the name of
a new ballad, but 'the old mans boot"
| is generally considered more touching.
Beacopsfeld spoke of certain lord
as zone cf those who entertain such a
sacred regard for truth that he will not
Use 1t too freely"
Major Gossitt had been a widower
! only three m nths at Chattanooga be-
fore he was sued for breach of promise
to marry.
Mr.. Henry G. Yennor is only forty
one years old, is the owner of a most
successful muStache and parts his
wavy hair in the middle.
Some one wrote to Horace Greeley
iuquiring if guano was good to put on
potatoes. He said it might do for those
whose tastes had become vitlated with
tobacco and rum, but he preferred
gravy and butter.
Mr.. John Walter, proprietor of the
London Times, will shortly arrive in
this country and Stay until October.
His wife and children will accompany
him. After visiting Long Branch and
Newport he viii go to California.
The East Indian Prince of Gondai is
on the eve of mstrimony. He is to
lead seven happy maidens to the altar
at once. The troubled life of an East
Indian Prince has its compensatiOns
Just think of it! Eight souls with but a
single thought, eight hearts that beat as
one!-B Ston Transrip.
The threshing machine has robbed
country life of one Of It's most exhilar-
hGliIS piS SbNulCp. LII VIC SOOu OlIl udIS
when the fail was the vogue, the city
visitor could retire to the barn and in
one short half hour get more bangs and
bruises than he can now acquire all day
in tho diamond feld.-BOston Tran
script.
An increasing activity is reported
an ong the Mornons. Their mission
aries have been dispatched to nearly
every state in theUnion to win converts
and help them migrate to the Utah
sink of iniquity.
Like a bell that's rung for fire; like
careless auction crier; like ofttimes a
graceful liar, mBchief- making tattlers
go; stopping you with quaking fear,
whispering, as yol lend an ear-"Mercy
on US, did you near? Betsy Bean has
got a beauw
A woman in Anew York railway car
sneezed her $50 fabe teeth out of the
window. and while the train men were
! searching for them In the ditch, they
| bit a brakeman in the heel, infiicting a
painful, though not necessarily fatal
wound.
Last evening Whitehall chap,
dressed in his best clothes and lavender
pants, was on his way to see his sweet
| heart, when an old ball-wether went for
| him and butted him head over heels
into a mud puddle. His visit was post.
! poned On account of the wether.
Put away your linenduster,
Grab your ulster rom the rack,
For the Manitoba wtveletS
Soon will interview your back;
We can hear their chilly murmurS
On the bret re bore every. day.
And they turn our thoughts to chilblainS
And the influential.
Detroit Free Press.
While in some pats of Europe in
tense heat has been experienced this
summer, in others se7ere cold has oc-
Cured In Switzerland, during June,
vegetables froze in TIE fields and grass
in the meadows. Inthe north of Scot
land potatoes and tlrnips were badly
damaged.
The Rev. Geo. W. Williams, a mem
Der Of the Ohio legislature, S negro.
A year ago he was sling a Columbus
hotel for refusing to board him on &C
count of his color. Now a Columbus
hotel keeper is suingWilliams for fail
ing to pay board bill.
While an emigran train was stop
ping at Soda Springs Utah, a few days
ago, a boy got hold of a shotgun be-
longing to some onein the party and
of course it went off. A little girl was
killed instantly, bah MORALLY wound
ed and the mother hdiy hurt The
! gloom cast over tleSe seekers for