The Hickman courier. [volume] (Hickman, Ky.) 1859-current, 1881-06-17
PITH AND POINT.

A SOFT answer-W What will you have
for breakfast? Mush.
THE hardest road to travel for Rus
sian Gar Is the shell road.
"WHAT a beautiful thing, my dear, is
a rosy cheek" "Yes, husband, but
how great the contrast when the blush
settles on the nose y
ARE you mate of this ship? ?" said
Aewly-arrived passenger to the cook.
No, sir / am the man that cooks the
mate p said the Hibernian.
"MARIEl what's that strange noise at
the gate ?'' "Cats, sir. . Cats Well,
when I was young cats didn't wear stove
pipe hats and smoke cigars" Times
are changed, sir.
A CHURCH deacon at Tarrytown, n. Y,
snored 50 loudly that the sermon had to
stop until he could be awakened. When
aroused he jumped up and said 81 vote
aye T" The ayes had it.
g How Is your wife, Mr.. Smith % Says
Smith, pointing 20 where his wife sat in
the next room at work upon his coat.
. She's sew-sew." Mrs. Jones. "Oh. I,
see she is mending, sure enough y
LOUIS A. GoDEY, of Godey's Ladg's
Book, left an estate inventoried at
S221, ,s54. As a distinguished French
man said, "L Let me publish the fashions
OF a nation, and 1 care not vino loses
money by publishing its classics
IT is well known that certain fowls fill
their digestive apparatus with gravel and
I pebbles, which act as miIlstones to grind
1 ND their food. Human beings should act
On tlsA suggestion. asld Rkfere slgigea3S.
a Western restaurant swallow Il asausssr,- :
-cptters-k kstSf1tcssEl1lsf ZVFsztss.
''WHERE would we be without wom-
/ emp asks an Ottumwa man. 1t is hard
( to determine just which way the majori-
ty would drift, but some men we know
/ OF would be out of debt and out of
/ trouble, and good many more out at
/ the seat of their breeches
That jolly old sea-dog, the Secretary
! of the Navy, rushed into Congress one
/ day with demand for an appropriation
! for sinking artesian wells on ship-board.
/ He explained that it was about time our
navy was supplied withpure, fresh water
/ at all times. He was removed by force.
San Francisco Post.
/ A QUAKER maiden of so accepted an
( offer from a Presbyterian elder, and,
/ being demonstrated with by delegation
[ of friends appointed to wait-upon her
for marrying out of the meeting, she re-
piled "Look here I've been waiting
/ Just sixty years for the meeting to marry
me and, if the meeting don't want me
to marry out of it, why don't the meet
ing bring along its young men?' The
delegation departed in silence.
81 CANNOT pay you this morning."
said the customer to the milkman,
''vou'n have to chalk it down. 'Chalk
it DOWN." stammered the milkman.
eyes, chalk it down. Why, you look
as if you didn't know what piece of
chalk was" The milkman blushed,
and, picking up his cans, sadly took his
whey from the door, pondering on the
uncertainty of humanity.-,SOmerUilte
Journal.
. Hast thou no feeling
To see me kneeing.
My love revealing
Day after day 2?
s'Yes, have feeling
To see YOU kneeling.
Your bald head revealing.
Take IL away
THERE was bright youngster named JACK
On his dear mothers chair placed tack
She arose with - Iip!"
Then grabbed the young chip
And warmed him down under his back"
-DerTick.
A MAN from one of the rural districts
went to Washington to see the sights.
A member of the House, whose con-
stituent he was, said, " Come up to-mor-
row. and L will give you seat on the
floor of the House." '' No, you don't, -
answered Jonathan =" l always manage
to have a cheer to sit on at home, and
don't come 20 washington 90 sfr on the
floor !"
a GALVESTON school-teacher asked a
new boy: eff a carpenter wants to
cover roof fifteen feet wide by thirty
broad with shingles five feet broad by
twelve long, how many shingles will he
need ?" The boy took up his hat and
slid for the door. "Where are you go
ing? ?" asked the teacher. "To find a
carpenter. He ought to know that bet
ter than any of we fellows"
A NIcE-LooKING old1ady, with a snowy
circle of lace about her head, sat in a
Wabash-avenue car, and drew up her
skirts nervously, lest the cataract of to-
bacco-luice that was pouring from the
I mouths of two loafers next her should
deluge them. Conductor" +" she asked,
timidly, when he came in, "isn't it
against the rules to spit on the floor of
the car ?'' mo, ma'am," replied the
gallant conductor, "spit wherever you
ike. - Chicago Inter Ocean.