davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1881-04-21
A Substitute for EarthUuakcs.

Queer how the iurce of habit will
catch hold OF a man. There was old
Major Dogshow who was terrible vic
tim of it. The ma jor when small boy
went down to Peru where they have
earthquakes and revolutions every ten
days or so where man works to get
his enemy elected president, for the
sake of seeing him assassinated. The
major lived in that country till he was
nearly fifty years old and he had go,
by that time, wonted to being mixed up
in civil war or fleeing from an earth
quake about half the time. Finally he
moved back to the United States. At
the end of a week he was unhappy. He
missed the revolutions and the earth
quakes. Occasionally, he contrived to
dream there was an earthquake, and
then he would hop out of bed and rush
out of the house, without stopping to
dress, and would run half mile, howle
ing, before he got sufficiently awake to
realize his mistake. This kind OF got
the neighbors to thinking the major
had 'em." But this didn't afford
much relief. However, political cam
paign came on, and the major moved to
Philadelphia and used to go to ward
caucuses and take prominent part,
and he was elected to the board of al
dermen, and got his head thumped
with cuspadore at most every meeting
and that, in a measure, made up for the
! loss of revolutions. But the major han
kered for earthquakes, and at last the de-
sire to experience one became almost un-
controllable. He consulted q doctor. The
doctor said he thought he could help
him. The doctor owned an old Mexican
mule with back as sharp as an Ak. The
mule had been in the army ten years.
He took it out in an open field and put
the major on its back. Then the mule
began to buck. Did you ever see q
mule buck? 1t jumps about four feet
into the air, and comes down stiff
legged, and the jar the rider gets is
enough to loosen his teeth. And you
can't get off unless you fall off, and ther
the mule may jump on you. The majol
knew that, and he hung on for dear life
The doctor danced wildly about as the
mule bucked, and the major swore anC
screamed. "Is it equal to an earth
quake ?" he yelled. And the majo
howled: "Hang it yes; it's six of 'em
with a volcano and a stroke of lightning
thrown inp The mule finally quiete(
down, and he took the major off. H
was the sorest, lamest, maddest man il
the State. And he says he has hac
enough earthquake to last him a life
time, but he hasn't got through with tn
doctor, who had better leave the countr
before he gets well.-BOStoa Post.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1881-04-21
Use d to Suck 'Em,

A young college student was visiting
his grandmother, and at the breakfast
table he took an egg, and holding it up
asked her if she knew the scientific way
of obtaining the contents withou3 break
ing the shell ?"
She replied that she did not.
"Well, ;" said he, "you take the spher,
oidal body in your sinister hand, and
with convenient diminutive pointed
instrument, held in the dexter hand,
puncture the apex then in the same
manner make an orifce in the base
place either extremity to your labials
and endeavor to draw in your breath /
vacuum is created, and the contents o.
the egg are discharged into yonl
mouth"
La p said the old lady, "when ]
was girl we used tn make pin hole il
each end, and suck EN-"
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1881-04-21
Recipes.

JELLY CUsTARD.-To one cupful Of
any sort of jelly add one egg and bea,
well together with three teaspoons
cream or milk. After mixing thorough
ly bake in good crust.
BRAIDED SAUCE.-Beat cup of sugar
and heaping tablespoonful of butter to
II cream, make into q pyramid on a
small plate and CRATE nutmeg over it.
Very simple, but favorite for apple OF
berry puddings.
SIMPLE LEMON PR.-Five eggs, two
cups of sugar, one-half cup of butter,
one cup of warm water, one cracker
pounded fine, rind and juice of one
lemon; bake with an upper and undel
crust. This should make two pies.
CHocoLATE.-Therea are several meth.
DDS of making breakfast chocolate.
very old French recipe has been care.
fully tested and found perfect by the
writer; simply place square in cul
and pour upon it enough boiling milk
to dissolve it into a paste; meantime
have the milk boiling in saucepan
until it boils to a bubble, then gently
stir in the paste, stirring until thor.
oughly mixed, and sweeten to taste
The white of eggs foamed on top is al
improvement.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1881-04-21

gone. In place of all the bitter sadness
that had hung heavily round her heart
was warm feeling of happiness, Of
comfort and hope.
All the explanation they had was
this: Josiah drew from under his shabby
coat an exceedingly awkward and knob
by bundle.
'"Tve bought somethin' for you,
Nabby, he said.
The somethin'" undone proved to
be very handsome brittania teapot.
The teapot must have known that it
was eace-offering, with such prefer
natural brightness did it shine and
glisten. Something in Nabby's eyes
shone and glistened, too, although she
had winked hard, and scorned the weak
ness of pocket-handkerchief
"Thank you, JOSIAH" she said; "it's
regular beauty, and I shall set lots by
it."
Which, so long as they understood
each other, was perhaps as we'll as il
Josiah had made long-worded speech
of repentance and reformation, and
Nabby another of forgiveness.
J. WISH l. COulIl suy luut NdbDJ uGNtl
scolded Josiah again. But 1 can't.
However, she "drewit mild" and there
was q general understanding between
them that this was only sort of exer-
else made necessary by habit-a barking
by no means involving biting. And
Josiah was so accustomed to it that he
would have missed it, and not felt
natural without being wound and set
going for the day by Nabby.
One day, later in the winter, Nabby
was washing for Mrs. Hosley.
$50 you've taken Josiah back again,
after ALL" said Mrs. Hosley.
"Well, yes, I have" said Nabby,
giving the last twist to a sheet she was
wringing out. "Josiah mayn't be very
much to brag of; but then, you see,
he's my own and all I've got. We're
getting to be old folks, Josiah and me,
and we may as we'll put up with each
other the little while we've got to stay
here"
"How has he been doing since he
came back ?"
"First rate. He's walked as straight
as a string ever since. He's a good
provider, now he's quit drinking, and q
master hand for fixing up things around
the house and making it comfortable.
I tell you what it is, Mrs. Hosley, we've
got to make 'lowance for folks in this
world. We can't have 'em always just
to our mind. We got to take them
just as they are and make the best
ont"
"I'm glad to see you so much hap
pier and better contented, Nabby."
"Well, used to fret and complain
good deal because things hadn't
turned out as 1 expected 'em to; but
lately I've thought good deal about il
all, and I've made up my mind that
there's considerable comfort for every
one in this world, after all. We mayn't
git just what we want, but We git some
thin"
In which piece of philosophy be-
lieve Nabby was about right.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1881-04-21
THE FARM AND HOUSEHOLD.
Canada Thistles.

An effective method of eradicating
Canada thistles is as follows: As soon
as they appear in the spring strike them
off with sharp hoe below the lower
leaf or even with the solid earth. Re-
peat every time sprout starts, and
your efforts will be crowned with sue
cess the first season. Cutivating about
them increases their growth as it does
other plants. They cannot, however,
live without top. 1t is waste of time
attempting to dig up the roots. Nov.
ing closely when in full bloom will check
them seriously, but the only sure method
is that first mentioned above. Thisles
are such nuisance that farmers can af-
ford to spend some time in their effec-
tive eradication. A few may appear the
second year after this treatment; if SC
repeat the cutting of the stalks, and il
thoroughly done sure death is the re.
sult.-Ame1'ic0n Cuhirdtor.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1881-04-21

it by too heavy pull at first starting
nor start from bad place, if possible to
avoid it.
A change in seed is often very bene-
fetal
1t is said that pullet's first eggs are
not SO good as those laid later.
Fowls seldom tire of milk. They
may eat too much grain or meat for
health, but milk in any form is both
palatable and healthy.
One of the most deleterious systems
of gardening, says the London Chronicle,
is to spade about foot deep, while the
subsoil remains untouched.
Decayed grain of any kind is highly
injurious to stock. It has paralyzing
effect upon the animal fed with it, often
times causing death.
A single horse or a pair will draw far
more and easier after getting up to
their work thanwhen first s'srting. Never
draw the check-rein tight in heavy pull
ing OF in driving fast gait.
A New York farmer says that potato
tops make the best mulch for strawber
ries. They are free from weed seeds,
heavy enough not to be blown off AMI
will pack and smother the plants as
straw or hay will sometimes do. In
spring they are SO well rotted as not to
need removal.
"W. S." asks if cutting potatoes to
one or two eyes in hill would be too
small to produce good results. The best
crop of potatoes we ever saw was from
potatoes cut to one eye and planted one
piece in hill. There is a great waste
of seed potatoes every year in our coun-
try through ignorance.--NetC York Her.
all.
A compost heap should be perman-
ent institution in every garden, and it
will be found surprising how much fer
tilizing matter can be accumulated dur
ing q year. Such structure need not
present an unsightly or Objectionable
appearance it may be built behind
some hedge, or in a fence corner, and
protected from sight by a few ever,
green's.
The most successful fruit growers,
East and West, have decided that there
is no better remedy for the codling moth
than to pasture hogs i'll the orchard, to
eat the wormy apples and the worms
therein. If the orchards are too large
for the number of hogs kept, sheep are
turned in.
The prevalent idea that shallow plow-
ing is sufficient for grass seed is an er-
roneous one. Unlike corn, the roots OF
which keep near the surface and require
heat, the roots of grass require depth,
moisture and colder soil.
There is said to be no cure for the
disease in calves known as black leg OF
carbuncu!ar erysipelas, when the swell.
ings on the flanks and legs have ap,
peared. In fact, cure may be said to be
impossible at any stage, but prevention
is easy. To prevent danger, give eacl
one ounce of linseed oil daily for three
days, and do not let the calves overfeed
themselves.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1881-04-21
Wcrk and Wait.

A husbandman who many years
Had plowed his fields and sown in tears,
Grew weary with his doubts and fears.
az toll in vain These rocks and sands
Will yield no harvest to my hands;
The best seeds rot in barren lands.
MY dropping vine is withering;
No promised grapes its blossoms bring;
No birds among its branches sing.
MY flock is dying on the plain;
The heavens are brass-they yield no rain;
The earth is iron-I toll in vain 70
While yet he spake breath had stirred
His dropping vine like wing of bird,
And from its leaves voice he heard;
1.-THE germs and fruits Of lifS must be
Forever hid in mystery,
Yet none can toll in vain for me.
A mightier hand, more skilled than thine,
Must hang the cluster of the vine,
And make the fields with harvest shine.
Man can but work; God can create;
But they who work, and watch and wait,
Have their reward, though it come late.
Look up to heaven behold and hear
The clouds and thundorings in thine ear
An answer to thy doubts and fear,'
He looked, and 10 cloud-draped car,
With trailing smoke and flames afar,
Vas rushing to a distant star.
And every thirsty flock and plain
Was rising up to meet the RAIN
That came to clothe the fields with grain.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1881-04-21
Transplanting md Cutting Back.

Whenever q tree is transplanted many
of the roots are injured-a part de-
stroyed. Those that remain when set
out in new place are in no condition
to feed the plant Is it was fed previous
to removal. Hence the top must be cut
back to restore the equilibrium. Let us
instance the case of a newly y-transplanted
grapevine. If many buds are permitted
to push and grow, the growth of each
at the end of the season will be found to
be of feeble, immature kind. If, on
the other hand, but one bud be per-
mitted to grow, strong, healthy cane
will be the result. Thus we see in the
former case the sap is distributed among
many buds and shoots, while in the lat
ter it is supplied to one. The tree or
plant of any kind may live in either
case. While, however, cutting back
renders the chances of life greater and
insures more vigor, we have still to con-
slider whether few strong shots are not
more desirable than many feeble ones.
-RtEal NeU Yorker.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1881-04-21
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Dear at any price-Sweethearts.
The fishery question-Got a bite
A man who was formerly night
watchman refers to it as his late occu
p; ton.
No star ever rose and set without irs
huence somewhere. 1t is the same way
with hen.
A woman's work is never done, be-
cause when she has nothing else to dc
she has her hair to fix.
Why is dandy like mushroom?
Because he's regular saphead-
His waist is remarkably slender,
His growth is exceedingly rapid,
And his top is uncommonly tender.
The hog cholera excitement is the
biggest thing in the porcine line since
Theodore Thomas had to leave Cincin-
natl because he refused to beat time
with ham.
Many woman who would like to put
down O new Brussels carpet in her par
lor will be obliged to be content with
putting q new hoop on the second-best
washtub.-Ne,o Hacea Register,
Philadelphia has discovered that
colored lard is being palmed off as but
ter. Passing off pigs feet for spring
chickens will probably be the next
deception.-Phitadelphia Chronicle.
"You don't know how it pains me to
punish you," said the teacher. 81
guess there's the most pain at my end of
the stick" replied the boy, feelingly
'T any rate I'd be willing to swap"
eyes, sir" said Gallagher, ait was
funny enough to make donkey laugh.
laughed till l cried" and then he saw q
smile go round the room, he grew led
| in the face, and went away mad.-BOSton
Post.
The favorite girls in Washington have
big, brown eyes and large mouths. AS
| the latter qualification enables them to
eat ice-cream with coal shovel, i.
| promises to be an expensive summer
for unmarried government clerks.
When member, in the course of a
very long speech, called for glass of
water, a member sitting near exclaimed
soto voce to his neighbors: "This is
all contrary to the laws of mechanics-a
windmill running by water.-Hmgord
| COndnt.
1t is said that two French philoso-
pliers have kept nine hogs drunk for n
year, and say they are none the worse
for their tippling. Which proves that
hogs are natural drunkards, or that nat
ural drunkards are hogs, we've forgot.
ten which.-Ne,c Haoem Register.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1881-04-21
SCIENTIFIC NOTES.

Mr.. G.. Phelps Beven estimates the
grand total of gold produced during the
historic ages to be SIT, 500, 900, 900, and
that of silver $4,000, ,000,000, making
the produce of both the precious metals
to be worth $31 600, 600, 600.
Eschnit has confirmed, by new sta
tistical table-showing the duration of
life in the various professions in Bavaria
the general impression that medical
men are shorter lived than any other
class. Out of every 100 individuals
tifty-three Protestant clergymen, forty
one professors, thirty-nine lawyers OF
magistrates, thirty-four Catholic priests,
but only twenty-six doctors reach the
age of fifty.
The government telegraph depart
ment in Calcutta obtained last Novem-
Der sample supply of the loud-speak-
ing telephones OF the Gower-Bell COM
pany, and the experimental trials of their
instruments have given SO much satis-
faction that the company received lately
an order for large number of their
telephones. The government of India
will not sanction the establishment of
telephone exchanges by private per-
sons.
Although DR.. J. Gwyn Jeffreys has
during period of between forty and
fifty years, dredged, as a explorer, all
the seas of the British isles besides
a considerable part of those On the
coasts of North America, Greenland,
Norway, France, Spain, Portugal, Mo
rocco and Italy, he has never found
any thing of value except to a naturalist,
nor any human bone, although many
thousand human beings must have per-
ished in those seas. The gems, o." dead
bones," etc, that was thought to form
the floor of the ocean appear to exist
only in the imagination of the poets.
The artificial means by which drowsi-
ness may be induced have been investi-
gated lately in Germany by Preyer.
The ordinary drowsiness of fatigue sup
posed to be caused by the introduction
into the blood of lastic acid, compound
, proceeding from the distingeration o.
: the bodily tissues of nerves and muscle
To ascertain whether this view was cor
rect, Preyer administered large quaint
ties of the acid to animals, and fount
that it woald induce drowsiness an,
slumber apparently identical with forma
/ sleep, and from which they awaken
seemingly much refreshed. Not onl
8 lactate soda, but sour milk and whey
|, fed to animals which had been fasting
|, produced this artificial sleep.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1881-04-21
Satisfactory.
A gentleman writing to the Danville

A gentleman writing to the Danville
Tribune says:
DIR. Bittle, in a lecture to his meta,
physics class, was once speaking of the
shrewdness of children's replies, their
perplexing questions, etc., and said to
us:
"You just try asking some child why
the sun doesn't rise in the west" When
opportunity favored 1 tried the expert
ment. 1 said to a bright little girl:
"Who made the sun" "God."
"Where did He make it rise?" "In
the east" "Well, can you tell me why
he didn't make it rise in the west ?''
"He wanted that place for it to set at"
was the reply.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1881-04-21
Give Them Now.

If you have gentle words and looks, my friends,
To spare for me-if you have tears to shed
That have suffered-keer them NOT, pray,
Until see not, hear not, being dead.
If you have flowers to give-fair lily buds,
White roses, daisies meadow stars that be
Mine own dear namesakes)-let them smile
and make
The air, while yet breathe it. sweet for me.
For loving looks, though fraught with tender
ness,
And kindly tears, though they fall thichand
fast,
And words of praise, alasl can naught avail
To lift the shadows from q life that's past.
And rarest blossoms, what can they suffice,
offered to one who can no longer gaze
Upon their beauty Flowers in cof1ins laid
Impart no sweetness to departed days.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1881-04-21
Good Food for Fowls.

All varieties of poultry can be kept
well and economically upon screenings
composed of all manner of seeds. They
can be also kept upon table refuse, sour
milk and decaying meat scraps and
musty grain. This may be an induce
ment for keeping poultry, but the ques-
ton arises whether it is the best way to
keep poultry where an excellent quality
of eggs and flesh is desired. Beef may
be fed on distillery slops, but the quality
is very much inferior to corn-fed beef.
Onions, cabbage, clover and filthy water
affect the taste and quality of the butter
and milk of the COWS to which they are
fed. Pork made from corn is very much
superior to the swill-fed article. When
a fine quality of eggs and chickens is
desired poultry should be vigorous and
healthy, in order that their digestive or
gans may do their duty. Care should be
taken to see that the poultry-house is
properly ventilated and not kept too
warm, as a vitiated atmosphere has very
much to do with the profit and health
of the flock. Poultry, to be kept prof
itably, must be watered, housed and fed
abundantly, with frequent changes in
diet. The poultry keeper who attends
to these details may reasonably expect
to realize considerable profit. Some
profit may, however, be realized when
kept simply as the scavengers of the
farm, if ordinary care is taken to sec
that they get sufficient food and shell
ter; but the quality of the product i,
inferior. Corn and wheat produce thc
richest flesh and eggs, and should be
the principal food employed. Buck.
wheat and decaying vegetables are the
poorest foods, not only for quality but
color of flesh and ggs.-Coyrespondenc,
! country Gentleman.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1881-04-21

There may be something good and
useful thus far unwritten as to how to
break colt we'll. L may be allowed to
try. When only about one week old
put on the foal and let remain the head
part of halter. Soon after attach
hitch-rein, by which to teach it to be led
and stand hitched quietly without pull
ing backward, But, if not before, as
soon as weaned break to halter then
commence to take up all its feet and
clean hoofs with hook and short broom,
thus serving double purpose, by clean
liness to prevent thrush and slipping
and also to get it we'll used to having
its feet handled preparatory to being
shod. If of very large size and showing
considerable "high stuff" it may be
well to commence breaking to harness
at one and half years old. First, in
stable, put ON all the harness and spend
considerable time in adjusting each
part and buckling and unbuckling every
| thing. Tie traces into breech rings,
pretty closely drawn, buckle both girths,
use no binders on bride and only loose
check-rein. Let the colt stand several
hours at time with the harness on.
After some days of this usage, a small
string of bells may well be attached
to the girth. Take the colt out of doors
with harness en-, and first in lot, after
ward in street, teach it to handily be
driven by the reins and to turn out
ON meeting teams and turn around cor
ners. Go different routes daily. Then
teach it to back, first by taking hold
of the bride, afterward by long reins.
Always on return home teach your colt
to stand still while being embarrassed.
Three weeks daily lessons of this kind
and your colt will be fit to hitch to O
light but Strong sulky. Not less than
two persons should be in active attend.
ance now; and first commence by sim
ply placing one off shaft in thill holder
and let the attendant barely keep it in
place with left hand, while he holds the
large ring of the bride bit with the
right, yourself meanwhile leading the
colt forward by the opposite bit ring
Should the colt show signs of mucl
fright the shaft may be removed from
the holder and gently let down on the
ground then try again, and so on
when it cares nothing for the sulky
then traces may be hitched, etc. Thu,
the ultimatum of good and easy break
ing may be accomplished, and so mod
erately and gradually done that the col
will never know when he is being
broken. N dtiOndl Lire Stock Jou-n al
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1881-04-21

Some one who has had a sad expert
ence in the purchase of horse says that
he asked the dealer how much he would
take to warrant the horse good, and HAT
the philanthropist replied at once that
he would warrant him good for nothing.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1881-04-21

Farm and Garden Notes.
Never overload team nor discourage