Louisiana capitolian. (Baton Rouge, La.) 1879-1881, 1881-04-26
THE TROUBLES OF CONVERTS.


'l'm very glad to meet YOU said the
pastor ola Brooklyn church to WI occa-
sional attendant, the other day, land !
have been very much pleased to see your
wife at our revival meetings. Have they
done her any good ~
"Well, yes, think they have. |
heard her bowling hymns around the
house, aud she generally has q couple of
cords of old sisters there every after
noon slamming around and shooting off
celebrations. But, shy, what's the mat
ter with Mrs. Hotchkissi What has she
been up to"
"She is one Of the strong women Of
tho church, sir, responded the pastor.
"she is IN example. Why do you ask9'
Nothing, only heard my wife and
% couple more converts say that il Sister
Hotchkiss' hat could get through the
pearly gate o camel could get through
the eye of u cambria needle with the
Brooklyn Water Works Oh his back.
They've been praying around good
deal for Sister Hotchliiss, but / don't
think she's got any more show than old
Mrs. Silver
"But Sister Striver don't need any
help. She is pillar of strength and a
shining light. Hers is a peaceful life and
her salvation is assured"
THAT'S all right. don't understand
these things as women do, but that band
of saints up at my house claim that an.
gels can tell turned gowtjust as well
as secular dressmaker, and there amt
any place around the Throne tor II wig.
I think that Mrs. Stetiney has hurt YOU
revival some, hasn't she ~
~ don't see how. Mrs. Steffney has
cen u member in good standing for four
years"
"Just so. But tifzsnenton of het
name can bust up a prayer meeting
quicIler'n y can of gun cotton. Amt
there some'n terrible about her cheek
Didn't she have it trimmed over! Then
there's Mrs. Slam. ! tell you, parson.
you're some on religion, but You ought
to hear them Christians pray when they
get around to old Sister Slam There's
a pretty good show for her getting into
the claws of the adversary, amt there ?"
impossible! Her candle"
"Tisn't her candle, it's her back hair
Did you know it was false' 1t is, for
heard my wife talking to the Lord an
hour and half about it. And they say,
parson, that she hasn't got but two
dresses to her back and one of those is
so short behind that she can't wear it in
dry weather. They've been trying to
fix it up SO Slam can get through, but
they're rather Respondent, parson, they
don't seem to have much hope. What's
this | hear about you and the Widow,
Spalding9 Eth, you fat rascal There's
where there'll be trouble"
81 can't imagine how. She gave me
pair Of blankets
why, yes, and that mob of old peli-
cans who are regulating religion around
my rancho have just put the Lord in
possession of the fact, and they know
where she's going, They had an awful
row the other day, because one Of them
suggested that she might repent. Come
pretty near being a revival. They're q
pious lot, and my wife is head of the
devil outfit"
81 am glad your wife is impressed"
said the pastor, solemnly.
ooh! she has. She's got the worst
pressure Of religion Oh you ever saw.
She's converted clean through to her
spine, and she says that she can't do
enough for Lord who made her so diff
terent from Slamand that gang, and she's
some new frocks to go to the So
cables in. Keep it mp, parson. You're
getting them into the fold, but you'd bet
ter have some arrangement about Sister
Hotchkiss and her mob, or you'll think
bimeby that your church was ten
pound cartridge, rammed well home and
touched off with a streak of lightning.
These new Christians won't stand any
second hand Christianity now, You hear
me-" and the wise son of the world went
away specializing upon the difference it
would make among men if one of them
should confess his sins in % pair of
patched trousers.
1t IS estimated that Whittaker's ears
will cost the Government 500, 900 by