Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1881-02-19
afiraiaia fret 9wss.
R.sCETEE.


trwho wanted her called Rub-a-dub-dub.
The King Of Sweden is a poet, and when
he sends around few vcrscs ON Spring TO
country paper they go in
Ifvou should be asked when q eat Is ike
o. teapot, sou might say When your teas
IN it,
Insanity is no cause for divorce in Wis
ronsin. They think person must Oe crazy
in the first place to marry.
A Bridgeport man says his wife is only
half ike telescope. lie can draw her out
but can't shut her up.
An old fellow. now under the control of
his fourth wife, always a.ludes 20 the three
departed ones as his "sparc ribs
What is the difference between fixed
star and e meteor? One Is sun and the
other a dartcr
Is your wifca Democrat or Repu5li-
can she's neither then, gancing eau
tiou,ly around and In holrsc accents Shes
a Home Ruler
There is a Young lady in Brooklyn so IT.
fined In her language that She never uses
the word "b.ackguard,' bu; substitutes
African sentinel.
The Knicser5ockcr Tee Company's Presi-
dent Is reported as saying that It Will bcim-
possible t0 reduce tine price of ice this year
as the price of hay is SO high! Hey: Say
that again.
TIA, Irishml1's cat paid for herself du-
ring the reccn, freeze lie states; Il sou.td
her eleven times for shilling time. and
She always got home before could get there
mcsiiE
A nobleman wished o. induce Garrick %
stand as q candidate for Parliament. Ny
lord. said Garrick, II would rather play a
leadiu. part on the Sage, thm the part OF
q foo. In Parliament
The Chinese Encyclopedia meets q long
felt want and mo- family should Doe without
IT, IL is published at Pekin in 02O vol /
umes. and at the price of 1880 is the same
as given away. "Ge, the best
lie is liberal TO a fault, said Smith
speaking of vell-known citizen of Nir-
ginia City. lt is the only thing Co which
Inc is liberal, said Brown. And then the
fault must bc hi, own, remarked Jones.
That's a good story of the man who |
thought 'm0rs omnibus was Latin for |
learsc. and so Is that other story of the |
chap who translated Pere la Chase "ta-
tbcr. b1,gv
Gle was formorlya a.-cr, but became |
converted; Is the way one OF 'Ae "
@x5eri ,yi ~ Of re.6rnrd man M fcmper-
ancc revival in that city.
N'h orc" Jump "s V''C ,e'''"'' say
the pro'cro. 10 uo dogs. we saw 4 uVS
Jump 40 me c""ylu,''" V' q ga" '''" " ,S
SucSlng through lhe opening %! P'I'N
than q church scandal.
aTi..l.t,l.,.i. worry iu Charlie. ,r,
sf-,i-I bo v-;fl .iio 90 syVeli # bs does die
,,,o,,r,, ba yr,n'- ON IN tho hand place"
..@vb,. CL,rii. how e., vou know that9o
"O on I l,ow be can't mamma: he's cot
so tsetb ~ ,,nasb %
i
Il anNee mother made 'le 'ISI l'lr OF
TROUSERS Tor her son ana her' Ihey WSfy
nj .c,' h. ,,.,. Lro,,..br ID. -l. fond father the
i,tfer c.,olIy observed Poor 6ttie follow
I'm ,..,+ t,,o,- ci.tlcr D.. +. ,,o;ro, m
- 80 -, b,,,s,
In ease before Judge tniciter, oi Pmi-
adelphia he iudiciaiiy decided that the cat
is an anima. which Is entitled o. theprotec-
tion Of the law, but eNtralu,hcE.ly Ee took
occasion Co express the opinion that tEe cal
Is nuisance e'" therefore q proper sur
~. says You can come to see her any /
more. remarSci Marathon boy i' tacad-
llircr obi the youths sister. " Why uut-
Is ,clu- YOU come seven nights ln tAe week /