St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1881-03-11
SQuibs.

wife, young man, but her fathers wife
never.
"What is home where love is not 2"
asks susceptible young poet. It's
mighty interesting place-to the neigh
bors.-I New Haven Register
When Boston girl is shown baby
by its proud mother, she smiles sweet
biological smile and says that sit is GER
tainly a nice infant" Show a New
York girl the same baby and she will
nearly smother it with hugs and kisses,
and say, sit is the tweetest little toOtsy
it is" Can it be possible that hearing
Joe Cook and wearing blue stockings
makes all this difference
"Neuralgia' is the charming name
borne by charming girl. Her fond
mother found it on a medicine bottle,
and was captivated by its sweetness.
Collector of relics There, sir, is the
nose off one of the celebrated statues
in Europe. Friend: But it must have
ruined the statue. Collector of relics.
All, but you don't reflect what an addi-
ton it is to my collection!
81 say, Patrick, that is the worst
looking horse that have ever seen in
harness. Why don't you fatten him up 2"
Fat him up, is it ? Faix, the poor baste
can scarcely carry the little mate that's
on him nOw!" replied Pat.
A Boston man besought his wife, lie
being but three years married, for the
privilege of night key. "Night key ~
she exclaimed in tones of amaZement,
"What use can you have for a Eight
key, when the WOman's Emancipation
League meets Monday night, the La
dies Domestic Mission Tuesday, the
Sisters of Jericho Wednesday, the Wo-
mans Science Circle Thursday, the
Daughters of Ninevah Friday, and the
Woman's Progressive Art Association
and the Suffrage Band on alternate Sat
urday nights You stay at home and
see that the baby doesn't fall out of the
cradle" He stays.
Kind words never die. An elderly
stranger bought a copy of the News
from newsboy and handed him
quarter, but upon the boys hunting for
change the old gentleman said: "Never
mind the change, sonny, just keep it for
yourselEn This was probably the first
kind word that had ever been spoken
to the homeless, friendless orphan boy
since his mother died, and it completely
overcame him. Brushing hastily away
a tear, lie seized his benefactor's hand,
and exclaimed IN husky voice "Bul-
ly for you, old stick-in-t the-mud! |
wonder how much reward there is offer
ed for You by the savings bank you US
ed to be president Of"
During a recent session of the Gal
weston county district court a stranger
employed one of our young lawyers to
assist the county attorney in prosecut-
| ing man charged with burglary. The
young lawyer did his very best to con-
vict the burglar, but the jury acquitted
| him without leaving their seats. When
the stranger who had employed the
! lawyer to prosecute the burglar came
| to pay him, the latter said 81 will
only take half the money, as | failed
to convict him" That's Just why |
want to pay you WELL" was the reply
of the stranger. The prisoner is my
brother, and if hadn't hired you to
| help the state he would have been con-
victed and sent to the penitentiary.
You have done nobly." The young law
| yer .gobbled the fee without any more
| hesitation. He says he earned it
! Galveston News.
/ When our rights are in conflict with
| the rights of others it is better to cem-
promise and get what you can than to
| fly the uncertainties of the law and risk
! losing all. As Sir Boyle once said, "Mr.
! Speaker, it would surely he better to
/ give up not only part, but if necessary
/ the whole of the constitution in order
| to preserve the remainder"
There is nothing like being properly
armed aud equipped for the battle of
| life. Still, few men are in the happy
condition of the Irishman who sent
letter to friend saying that while he
was writing he had Il pistol in both
hands and a sword in the other.
The Fenians have every excuse for
revolt against a government which has
oppressed their country for centuries.
They declare with true Hibernian rhet-
Oric, that they "have stood PROSTATE at
the foot of the throne and asked IN
vain for the rights which they now pro-
pose to demand Under such circum-
stances it is easy to see that "Ireland's
cup of misery has been overfowing for
generations and is not yet full"
One of the best epitapbs ever written
was that on DIR. Fuller. 1t was, "Ilere
lies Fuller's earth"
A poet writes: 80, let nae shed
tear!'' We join in his appeal. Let
| him shed a tear: let him shed two tears
one out of each eye! And then let
some enc hit him five times ont of
possible four with blunderbuss -
! Philadelphia Sun.