davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Louisiana capitolian. (Baton Rouge, La.) 1879-1881, 1881-07-28
EASY LESSONS IN EsrHETICs.

Are you esthetic :" inquired o New
Haven young lady Of Brooklyn girl, as
the two sat down to q dish of fried slams
in o Fulton street restaurant.
81 guess so," replied the Brooklyn
girl, vaguely. "Why do you ask 2"
"Cause it's SO terribly awfully the
thing. We're all esthetic ut home.
Everybody is, and you don't know how
we enjoy itW
as it's 1t very expensive ?" querled
the Brooklyn girl, feeling her way.
at comes rather high, but it is so es-
sential. | haven't felt so well since /
left school as have since being esthetic.
You don't know how much I'ye gained"
"What's the nature Of itY How Go
yon take it ~
ooh, you sit around, and be excessive,
and when ony one speaks you glare at
'em and say, GLOW quite" Then You
shut yonr eyes, and breathe hard" l
wouldn't be without it for anything.
They say it's very healthy"
"Can You do it alone7"
"Oh, gracious, no! 1t takes four or
five to play. All you've got to do is to
cut off your eyelashes, SOS to look
stony, and then practice with some
chairs until You are ready to go into 30
ciety. At home we commence with
clothes pins to represent the gentlemen,
and baudoline bottles for the ladies.
Then we Joined the association and lick
ed 'em ALL"
'T had an idea that esthetic meant the
pleasurable sensations that arse from %
qualification of artistic appropriations"
explained the Brooklyn girl, timidly.
"Merciful goodness, no! On the con-
trary, it means the absence of taste.
You mustn't have any taste. You must
only be utter"
"How do you fetch that 7"
"That's done by holding your breath
until you are nearly ready to bust, and
then let it out quick. You do that when
somebody asks yon yon are prepared
to csthet Then you 60 on cstheting
until the party breaks up. Myra Brown
of New Haven, sjust lovely at it. We
admire her SO muchn
cit must be fun" museed the Brook
Ign girl, holding a clam Oh her fork and
contemplating her companion.
'lt just is. The gentlemen are ever
so nice. They wear swallow stomach
coats and eye glasses"
"Eh I" calculated the Brooklyn girl,
rather startled at the uniform.
"Yes, and they are SO extreme. Oh,
you don't know. When we girls are es-
thcting we wear a sort OF shroud. Mine
is cashmere and cost two dollars yard.
Some of the societies wear lilies, but VIC
use peoples. They are more languid.
The last time we met, somebody put
red pepper on the stove and / haven't
fully recovered yet Then some Of the
esthetes are gracile, but our society runs
to flesh We think it more soulful"
T've got an idea it's sort OF a fraud,
from your description" observed the
Brooklyn girl, gulping down the last
clam.
'You nasty hussyw shouted the es-
thete. "You'ye got no more intensity
than lobster! You're a coarse, vulgar
! animal You are a sessile groyeler
, And more than that, you pay for those
: clans or stay in pawn for 'em."
And the fragile follower of the pre-
, vailing fashion slammed ont Of the es-
tablishment, leaving her hard headed
friend to hquidate the account. /,
doesn't do to rouse up the unutterables.
They are liable to forget the sufficient
, and become ilant.-Brooklyn Eagle
Louisiana capitolian. (Baton Rouge, La.) 1879-1881, 1881-07-28
IS THOROUGH REMEDY
MORE DOGS-LESS TRUST.

4 correspondent of II Western eX-
change, writing from town in Indi-
ana, says:
One evening was in Musher's gro
Gerry store, speaking with one of the
clerks, when lady came in and asked
the proprietor il he would trust her for
some goods for few days The lady
was well dressed and was rather sur
prised when, after asking her where she
lived, where she had been trading and
the like, he asked:
"Do you keep dogs"
The lady looked somewhat astonish-
ed at this question. but, as she was anX-
ious to open an account at the estab-
lshment, she answered, after mo-
mcnt'S hesitation:
eyes,
GLOW many" asked the grocer.
"Oh only one
The lady got her goods and departed,
after which Musher Sald to me;
"Do You know that woman -
NO, SIR; do not"
'Did you hear me ask her If she
Keeps doSs 7!
.NV.i, ,,,,. ,,,,,,
ar ,,,,,y
own -, .h;a ;. a.. ,,
If, rcr.ou loony orIy ana ,loa an,
rro+t,, .rro NJ nv nav M .n;a noo.,,,,
mendot,on trnst them one weak. !,
tbo, 1,oon +ro ,nlr ,hr,o 1ora h,. :,
thew keen three dor. I would,,t o,or ~
account with Them t. thov ,wucd hol,
the town"
---- -
""''oS o'"'s' WHO Neol'S Co'l ot'ost
- 9'"'"' ""' 'n'"pou " ',iS n'i"' uoa'l
~ Wv ''''' u mo ."''li','o Liabilities
'' =" WV '"' 'oV " 0"'i'0' 0'''S WV
Louisiana capitolian. (Baton Rouge, La.) 1879-1881, 1881-07-28

IUHN JOHNSON, matchmaker and jeweIer,
y dealer in iewelry, silver ware, pictures and
nictmrn frames. Third street.
Louisiana capitolian. (Baton Rouge, La.) 1879-1881, 1881-07-28
A JEALOUS HUSBAND.

oo'o>"' ''e"", '"''' r.
VI : ~ =, ~ an WI e ,.'' AZ.
n"'' ','" ''0n 'V'o'lo'' r.'0 1870.
wv" "'" 'no '''o""N ''"'''''
'''''' "'"0'on' ''','''o"''
"'o''V'0' 'ioS"""'s' ''"' '""''' o'r
~ ''''l',' s"''o'' ''''
gun "n'' n""''''''o S""'0 ''S ''''
ia''ho' WIN ''''''"'''''' ''' o"o,'
''c'' 'o''"n,'' p'''''0' "Poi W. '0''"',
hearts In snort both were far'SIals anu
hunters. Full sixty years must have
been needed TO rrizzle the locks of the
one but twentv.tbree had psssed over
the others head
The elder reacbed the station n few
minutes before the other. He entered
m emptv commandment. but scarcely
had he done so when the door opened
and the Younger hunter entered. They
stared at each other for moment. but
il was the elder who smoke first.
INV dear Hoiscibert I am delighted
to ZOO vop be .oid nreseipc the others
bord with s;nuioted warmth
mAnd too pretbibout returned the
voung man ..am enchanted. What is
it Thincummy saws now Thrice
blessed il it-'n
nperhans Won mean Thrice blessed il
If 70 meet friendly face. - replied the
other.
les, 'n"V 'V' WIN was '''o 'o'''"
that said itnow ? 1t vast was"
'Lamartinc ?" asked the other, dryly.
"Ah, yes, that's the man--Lamartine.
Strange couldn't think of it,"
"Verv," replied Prethiba'ut,. "But
now think Of it. De Mussct was the
author of the line"
IVA. ao ID uoon ror,;od the other
.,.,..,. n,o,,on 81 ,, foyor;+o an.
nan. 80, ,-,o,,n
Ontwordlv prethjbout replied with q
u. 1,ror1,,, Ia cold . ssybe came
s.a,.on what ~ oos tho fol,ov ;sr
..,... ,1 po;on;,or. ,it h;s
In and nrtterod nConfound the old
up anu '''"''''c' n
'o'' : IL" Po""'''' 40
i"o'0 WV eo''', :, .N,,
" n''h' " 'o"'''"''' ''"'' Iva wy 'N
~, "'o'I 1, ;,,.o pro.nh.,4
A'''' {" ''7'
III siT coo ,o, ara !, huntino rio Naval
al. $3.50. ,,.horo ,.o,, ara hourdPr
uvoa r,, ,,oi,o RI vorr.ros Fin.
sboot;nr ot that choteau.n
'"o ''.'. Wv , -. ..,.., !,
,,,. ..4ta1 h,t s,d1o,,,,
"Yes, Vaugiron has asked me to come
,,ovr n verrieres and omen the huntjng
season with him. And you-wherc are
Won going prethibaut ~
oTo Verrieres.
"Wbat--von also ?" Boisribcrt's tone
EXPRESSED establishments, but certainly
NOT Measure
ooh yes. For ten years have opened
the season there. 1t wouldn't do for me
to miss one
"How fortunate we CHANGED to meet''
said BOisgibert, in tone as destitute OF
emotion as is the creak Of a door.
"Itwas indeed happy chance re-
piled Prethibaut, with the infection OF
man who bids his creditor come to-mor-
row.
Ana wh'io tl'eir i'lS o''''l'eo hoheSeo
words they were 'o'i Vi o'''ei''eSS WIFI,
ILL., ile''i' '''"' > '''''''''''' "''' ''''o-
th'hS ike I'LL"
no" III 'no menu ',a''' ''''" '""-
S''oi "o ~ l''io''' 40 We 'n'''o WIS w,
'"i'eu Pop'"J"S ~ n'' n'"'o Wv -, '''
Vhl''h MN ~ sup 'o '''o'"''''- INV
so 10 SPeak-'aS ''i"V' "ho'' " ''ia'' VI
''ty-'"o i''afF'eS s''' Vi "'''''''" ~
should hoC lh'i'e lla''oSo'''e u"'''''o'
Louisiana capitolian. (Baton Rouge, La.) 1879-1881, 1881-07-28

\ A LEXANDRE GROUCHY, proprietor OF the
~ Capital House Board by the day. week or
month. with the best the market affords.
Louisiana capitolian. (Baton Rouge, La.) 1879-1881, 1881-07-28

w y. CLUVERIUS, Druggist, BGgels old
w stand dealer in drugs, medicines, cutlery
anan Garden seed and fancy articles.
Louisiana capitolian. (Baton Rouge, La.) 1879-1881, 1881-07-28

JOSEPH LARG UIER, dealer in foreign and
~ domestic hardware, house furnishing goods,
corner Third and Florida streets
Louisiana capitolian. (Baton Rouge, La.) 1879-1881, 1881-07-28

u FEIBELMAN dealer in Dry Goods and
ID the most fashionable styles Of ready made
clothing, hats boots and shoes, Main street.
Louisiana capitolian. (Baton Rouge, La.) 1879-1881, 1881-07-28

AIRS. j. NJ. PARKER, dcalcrin Millinery and
NI Dry Goods and fancy articles of all des-
rCriptiOns Main street.
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1881-03-08

hand down into his pocket, and felt for
some cash to pay for 1t. He was little
surprised TO run foul of knife In his
pocket. He was astonished, because he
had no knife of bis own, and he hadn't
borrowed any Of late. Upon exploring
the pocket he hauled out a pocket-book
containing $40 or $50. His surprise
increased at this, because the pocket
book was a strange one to him, and the
money wasn't his.
The gentleman was very busy for the
following few minutes. He was busy
thinking. There was something wrong.
The pantaloons he had on just then
were not the ones he laid aside on retir-
ing. Yet he had got the unmentiona-
bles in his wife's room, and contiguous
to her bed. The drug clerk recognized
the strangers pants as pair worn by
prominent citizen of Xenia That set
tied it. But, to make the affair more
binding, the husbands own breeches
were not to be found when he returned
home with the medicine for his sick
wife. They were gone.
Hereupon the husband took a slate
and commenced to figure. He calculat-
ed that some one had taken advantage
of the loneliness of his wife during his
absence, or that his wife had taken
advantage of his absence during her
loneliness, and that the owner of the
strange pants had been concealed in the
bed-chamber when he (the husband) re-
turned. Also, that the trip to the drug
store had been mapped out in order to
allow the interloper to retreat. In
retreating the interloper had made
mistake as to pantaloons also. Hence
the scandal.
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1881-03-08
The Deacon Won Her.

HWAAS, there's money made in
i stocks, no doubt" said the old
man, as he removed his hat and ran his
fingers through his gray locks, "but it's
a reesky bizness it's suthin' like bet
ting on whar lightning's going to strike
with the odds in favor of hitting the
tree you stand under"
"Then you never speculate :"
"Never, / dig along on the old farm,
takin' one crop with another, and pull
ing out stumps when I've nothing else
to do, and if don't make any great
shakes, 1 haven't anything to worry
over. / had purity solemn warning
during the coal-ile excitement, and it
cured me of speculatin'."
"How is that?"
WAL, was widower then; wife
fell down the well and was drawed out
as stiff as poker. had a big farm,
lots of stock, and was called purity solid.
We all got excited about lie, and all of
us dug more or less holes in search of
the stuff. All of sudden a wider livin'
about two miles from me found lie in
dozen places on her farm. She was
widder with a bad nose, freckles all over
her face, eyes on the squint, and built
up like camel. But when she struck
lie that was different thing. Old
Deacon Spooner, who was a widower,
got mashed right away. Our preacher,
who had lost his third wife, saw the
spec. 1 thought it over and thought
she was an angel. guess some six or
seven of us begun courtin' that widder
within sixteen hours after the first sign
of lie. know the procession reached
from the gate to the house."
"And you got her?"
's.Not much didn't, and that's what
Pm thankful for. Somehow or other
couldn't work up to the pint. That
nose kinder stood in the way every
time was ready to pop the question.
She acted like she wanted me, but
Deacon Spooner got the best of us all,
and they made hitch"
"And what ?"
"Nothing, except she had dosed that
farm with barrel of lie, and thus got a
husband for herself and home for her
five children. When the news came
out was so cold along the back bone
that they had to kiver me up with a
hoss- blanket, and since that time l
haven't had the nerve to buy eggs at
saven cents dozen and hold ,em for "A
RISE"
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1881-03-08
NO. 10.

roads, as the following story will show
" The other day." says correspondent
to German newspaper, 81 accompani-
ed lady relative to the Nicholas Rail-
way Depot, st. Petersburg, Russia,
from which place she wanted to take
the evening express for Moscow, and on
showing her first class ticket, she appli-
ed to the conductor for seat in ladies'
coup or compartment, which generally
seats from eight to ten persons. To our
great surprise we found this coup the
only apartment For LADIES' on the
train, was occupied by lady smokers,
and the apartment was so filled with
smoke that even tobacco using man
would have felt miserable in 1t. When
I asked whether smoking was permitted
the conductor gave me an answer in the
affirmative; thereupon 1 went to the
chief agent at the depot and politely
asked him whether he could not furnish
me with seat in ladies' coach, where
smoking was prohibited, but 1 received
this answer There are gentlemen's
coaches for those who do not smoke in
which women may sit, but apartments
expressly for ladies where smoking is
prohibited do not exist on our trains"
why, how is lady travelling alone to
do when she cannot stand such smoke p
why let her go in the car for gentlemen
marked No Smoking"
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1881-03-08
The Sailor on Shore.

An old East Indian captain gave up
sea-faring, and was having house built
in which to end his days in peace. One
morning, while watching the carpen-
ters, he noticed that they let bits of lath
and the like drop down between the
partitions, and he ordered them to take
all the loose pieces out. The workmen
obeyed, grumbling that they did not
see what difference it made. "All the
difference in the world, you lubbers !"
retorted the irate captain. "Do you
think 1 want to be annoyed, whenever
she rocks, by the rattle of the rubbish in
the partitions 2"
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1881-03-08
The Mysterious Pants.

ON Monday gentleman of Xenia,
" who has comley wife, left home
to transact some business in Cincinnati.
1t was his expressed intention to remain
absent from his home several days.
He found upon reaching Cincinnati that
he could finish his business much more
speedily than he had anticipated. He
came home. He got back much sooner
than he was expected by his wife. 1t
was we'll he was able to return so prompt
ly, for he found his life-partner in the
midst of serious Hines. 1t was at night
when the husband came home, and his
wife had retired. She apparently slept.
Disrobing, the husband also "turned
in" The wife, for time, was so help
lessly sick she couldn't speak, and the
husband kindly restrained from disturb
ing her, as he presumed she was asleep.
After a short time the wife recovered
sufficiently to acquaint her lord with
the fact that she was so seriously i'll that
he would have to hurry out to the drug
store for some medicine. OF course the
husband instantly prepared to obey.
He knew just what to get for the lady,
because she had frequently been attack
ed by certain kind of spell, or spasm,
and no doubt that was the nature of the
trouble that had overtaken Madame
during Monsieur's absence. 1t was the
work of but few seconds to dress and
start for the drug store. There was no
time to strike a light, but none was
needed, for the gentleman easily found
sufficient clothing to fit him out for the
trip.
At the apothecaries he procured the
necessary medicine, and running his
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1881-03-08

There was not such utter uncertainty
respecting q wooden coffin containing
guano effigy of man, discovered in
1916, some seventeen feet from the top
of the guano mound In Ichaboe for
although the coffin and its contents
crumbled to dust after an hours expos
ure to the air, the finders managed to
decipher all that remained of a rude
inscription namely, berman," and
1880" and to come to the conclusion
that the remains were those of the
carpenter or tomberm1nn of Dutch
sailing ship, who had departed this life
in 1889.
The child of q Dutch farmer ut the
Cape was wont to spend his idle hours
on the river-bank searching for pretty
pebbles. One of the youngsters acqui-
sitions attracted his mothers notice as
something out of the common, and she
showed 1t to a neighbor curious in such
things. He would have bought 1T but
Mrs. Jacobs ridiculed the idea, and made
him present of it, He kept it little
while and then as readily parted with it
to somebody wiser than himself who
passed it on to friend having sufficient
curiosity to post it in an ordinary un-
registered letter to DR.. Atherstone, q
mineralogist in Graham's Town. The
expert declared the boys pebble to be a
veritable diamond; as such it was ex-
hibited in the Paris Exhibition of 1867,
and purchased by an English gentleman
for five thousand pounds.
Some five or six years ago, young
man was traversing the mountains,
,and valleys of Esmeralda county,
Nevada, prospecting for gold and silver.
Teel's Marsh, he saw vast bed of white
sand or something like it, and was
tempted to examine it. He found the
place to be bed of dry lagoon, five
miles in length, and about half as wide
and what had been taken for white sand
proved to be q clay-like deposit, in
which he sank ankle-deep as he eau
tiously walked over it. Filling his
pockets with the curious stuff, he
mounted his horse again and rode to his
home in Columbus. There an assayer
pronounced the contents of his pockets
the finest samples of crude borax he had
ever seen. The astonished prospector-
one of the large family of Smiths-lost
no time in making formal claims to his
find; and that obtained, he and his
brother went to work with tanks, boilers,
crystallizers, and all necessary appli-
ances, and are at the present writing,
the masters of an immense establish
ment, driving very profitable trade,
one likely to be as permanent as profta-
BILE, since the deposit of borax in Teel's
Marsh reproduces itself every two or
three years, SO that Smith Bros, have
no fear of the supply failing.
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1881-03-08

ry- The Glasgow Herald states that
while some workmen were engaged
about half mile east from Fort Will
liam in deepening the dam which sup
plies the Nevis Distillery with water,
one of the men came upon large shell
in complete state. 1t was embedded
in the moss, and it was found to be
fifteen inches in diameter and weighed
about 100 pounds. The powder was
quite fresh-looking, only the portion of
it near the fuse being damp. The fuse
itself was burnt out. The shell is sup
posed to be one of those fired from the
fort in April, 1746, at battery raised
by the young Pretender's ("Prince
Charlie's'D men at the Craigs, within
500 yards of the fort.
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1881-03-08

C8- Henry Holtenburg had black hair
and ruddy complexion when he mar
ried Miss Schwarz, at Nashville, a year
ago. She supposed he was about forty,
though he made no statement on that
point. The honey moon was scarcely
over before his hair became gray, his
cheeks lost their color, and he showed
at least sixty years. The fact was that
he had discontinued the use of dye and
rouge. The angry wife wanted to sue
for divorce, but the lawyer told her that
the grounds were not sufficient. The
worst she could do was to desert him,
which she lost no time in doing.
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1881-03-08

gThere was church fair at Muncie,
Ark, and photographs of the young
women who were to serve at the stands
were displayed in the windows of the
stores, including those who were in
character costumes. A travelling bur-
lesque company came along at the same
time, and portraits of blondes in tights
were placed alongside the others. The
pastor hastily removed the pictures Of
the Muncie girls. Then the theatrical
managers placarded the actresses pict-
ures with ''These artists have no con-
nection whatever with the amateur
performance at the Baptist church, and
can only be seen at Tabor hail."
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1881-03-08

rs Female printers pop the question
to the mate typos by simply handing to
them an If the latter intends to en-
brace the opportunity and accept, they
retuBn brace, thus ~, but If they
wish to decline and dash..the cup of hap
piness from the fair ones lips, they
hand over -.
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1881-03-08
How Women Travel by Rail in Russia.

A lady smoker on railway train in
the United States, we can thankfully
say, is curiosity, always looked upon
with disgust. But in Russia, feminine
smokers seem. to rule the day on rail-
, 1881-01-14

weeks, after which they sailed again
down the straits and back to the
Sandwich Islands. While lying at
the mouth Of Salmon bay no Indians
were seen, not single one appeared
in sight during the whole time.
There is legend among the Indians
now here that long time ago there
came to Salmon bay queer craft,
of which the Indians there were all
afraid and fled at its approach, This
is probably the ship referred to. Mr..
Smith can take the palm as an old
pioneer.
, 1881-01-14
mALAR|Al
BLOOD
POISONING,

Causing chills and Fever
Dumb Ague, intermittent, Re.
mittent and Typhoid Fevers,
Biliousness, Liver, Stomach,
and Kidney disorders, and
many other ailments destroy
Ing the health and lives Of
millions, Is driven out Of the
system, and radically cured
by the use of tho LION MA
LARA AND LIVER PAD and
cANcIiONIc BODY AND
FooTPlASTERs, the cheap.
est and only perfect treat
mont by the Absorption prin-
cipie. The Piasters acting In
conIunctionW with the Pad up.
on tho nerye centers and re-
mote parts of the body, In abb
sorbing and thoroughly rid
dingths system from MAIA"
RIAL POISON.
The whole treatment, PAD,
BODY PLASTER and FOOT
PLASrERS, all combined,
sold for ST. .o0-the cheapest
and bestremedy ever discoV-
cred, and a positive cure
guaranteed II worn accord
Ing to directions. Remem.
ber, Pad, Body Plaster and
Foot Plasters, the whole,
$i.OO. Sold by all druggists,
or mailed on receipt of price
by
TINE LION MEDICINE Co.,
NEW YORK.
, 1881-01-14
here AND THERE.
nall-pox at Walla Walla.

Smallpox at Walla Walla.
The burned district at Dayton
will be rebuilt as soon as weather
will permit.
One of the heaviest wind storms
occurred above the Cascades last
week ever known in that section OF
the country.
Many persons are offering to en-
list at Walla Walla, and the re-
cruiting service is quite lively.
A much larger acreage of tobac-
co will be planted in the Puyallup
valley next season than ever be.
fore.
The new barkentine built by
Hall Bros, at Port Ludlow, was
launched last week and named the
Wrestler.
A recent fire destroyed the larg-
est business portion of Wallula.
Between the railroads, fire, wind
and sand, the place is nearly wiped
ont of existence.
Some parties in Yakima county
have. located a ditch heading on the
Matches and propose to utilize this
water rightifor agricultural, domes-
tic and also manufacturing pur-
poses.
John Connell, a settler on Lewis
River was found dead in his bed
en- the 11th of last month. He
was living alone and had been dead
about twenty-four hours when
found.
The Port Gamble Mik Com
pany will soon commence building
"a large store near the site of the
one recently burned. 1t will not
be so much over the water as the
old one and will be furnished In
tirst-class style.