National Republican. (Washington City (D.C.)) 1872-1888, 1881-02-12
HE FINISHED HIS STORY.
FTiite11 for The Republican,.

His name was John Y. B, but every
| body called him Y. He was known all over the
Territory, and for that matter there were few old
settlers on the Pacific Slope, from Utah north to
| the British line who had not heard of him.
The VigilanteS looked upon him as one of their
strong men, and the road-agents Stunned him as
! they would peStilence. He had drawn the rope
on more of their number than any ten men beside,
| and, though often laid for" had never been
caught mapping. He seemed to them a sort Of
! avenging angel-one ever on their track, and one,
too, whom it was difficult to elude. They hated,
feared, and yet respected him.
He was not an angel, however, not even in ap-
pearance. Small of stature Gust under five feet in
height, lame in one hip from bullet wound)
steel-gray eyes, which were scarcely mates, Zone
Of them being possessed of continuing desire to
look across the bridge of his nose at the other
grizzly mustache, and close cropped hair, plenti
fully sprinkled with gray, he presented more the
appearance of one of natures odd- jobs or the work
of some journeyman in the employ of the Great
Master.
A Scotch Welfhman, born in Pennsylvania. he
possessed the characteristics of three nationalities
in about even proportion. He was shrewd, witty,
discreet, honest, and courageous. good friend
and bitter enemy; he was ever Just, no matter in
which relation he happened to be placed by cir
cumstances.
As already intimated, X. was an oddity. He was
never at rest unless "on the co." During the
spring, summer, and autumn he was travelling
from camp to camp; and SO well was he known
that letters bearing no inscription other than
rudely drawn skull and cross-bones would be sure
to reach him in due time; but when winter came
he usually laid up in some town to make him
self miserable, he frequently observed, " to the
extent of his ability"
He loved adventure, loved his friends, loved his
"pizen," but best of ALL loved to spin long tales of
his exploits and breadth escapes to a select
party prepared to weigh out the dust for drinks.
Onecold clustering nightinthe winter 81
he was in town, and party, consisting of twelve
or fifteen of the leading business men, with whom
he was great favorite, seduced him into a cosy
saloon (Which was no difficult natter, and, after
sitting down to a round of hot toddy, called for a
story.
OK" squared himself for business by sitting
down astride his chair, his arms resting upon its
back, thus forming a convenient prop for his chin
and began the narration of trip to British Amer
lea, from whence he had recently returned, after
undergoing all manner of hardships and overcom
ing obstacles and meeting with dangers of the
greatest magnitude. He interpolated his remarks
with occasional calls for throat wash, and lubri
Gated his talk with frequent potations ofhot Scotch
and other savory compounds.
The story was comparatively old to his listeners
(he had repeated it several different occasions
to the same parties individually, if not collect
ivelyl yet they listened with the most earnest at
tention.
In the course of an hour X. was taking his
hearers over the border into the territory of the
British Queen, andh become so interested him
self that he failed TO notice the gradual with
drawaI of the audience to whom he was addressing
himself
One by one they disappeared and at length the
last of them had gone.
For ten minutes he ratified away, the bar tender
at the farther end of the room being his only
listener for it well on toward morning., when,
receiving no response to an interrogatory touch
ing some matter, he turned and found himself
alone.
"Well, I'll be id" he almost gasped. That
was all. Getting up, he went to the bar.
did them felleTs settler he inquired.
mot bit Oft" replied the mixer of fluids
Y. went down into his pocket, pulled out his
buckskin pouch, and, handing it over, said,
weigh out" which being done he took a night
cap" and departed. Next day his entertainers
were rather shy, but X. appeared on the streets
usual and as cordial as ever.
So unconscious did he seem of the events of the
preceding evening that some even doubted if he
saw the joke.
He remained in town until April, and everybody
victim.
Toward the latter part of April he set out in pur
suit ola noted horSe-thief, whom he succeeded in
capturing by overlooking his stomach with buck
shot Of course the thief could not recover from
such dose, and was consequently brought into
town dead and laid out in cell of the jail.
The next morning Y. sent out invitations to va
rious of the citizens TO view the body, and about
ten o'clock they began to arrive at the calaboose.
In few minutes, by remarkable coincidence,
all those who some months before had been such
patient listeners were standing in the reception
room. X. opened the ponderous door, and they
followed him into the corridor leading to where
the body lay in a room or cell some ten or twelve
feet square, lighted by small grated opening
looking into the Jail dining room.
None of them observed y. when he slipped out
and fastened the cell-door upon them.
The first intimation they had of his absence was
when he perched himSelfupo high stool, rested
his elbows upon the window ledge and remarked,
as he looked within, "Now, by Cd, guess I'll
finish my story" And he did. He began at first
where he had left off several weeks before, but
finally, fearing they might have forgotten what
had then been told, started over again, commenc-
ing at the first.
By dinner time he was nearly half way through,
and the prisoners were frantic. There they were
merchants, lawyers, bankers, the leading men of
the place. good citizens all-cooped like felons and
with felon-dead, at that.
At one o'clock Y. politely begged to be excused,
while he ate his dinner His repast occupied him
nearly an hour. Then he resumed the thread of
his narrative, and by three o'clock had finished.
He next brought the Jail Bible into requisition
reading several selections from Proverbs, Ecclesi
astes, and the Songs of Solomon, which, having
finished, he gave the prisoners some sound advice
and long lecture upon good breeding.
always ask TO be excused, gentlemen, when
Won wish to Withdraw from the presence of COM
pany. 1t isn't polite to sneak out as if you had
called for drinks and hadn't the dust to square
with"
With this closing remark The turned them
loose and a more crestfallen lot of mortals never
was seen.
By dark, KS joke was all over the town. The
victims of it were prodded, wherever they went,
with the question, "Have you seen Judd?" 1.-THE
name of the horse thief How did you like the
story X told?' and other similar interrogatories.
Y. lived in clover. He had only to wink in pres
ence of one of his whilom prisoners, and it was,
Come boys let's take something" 1t cost them
many an ounce of the precious metal to 'lay the
ghost that worried them and it was long time
before they could laugh over the dextrouS manner
in which the tables had been turned upon them.
The time came however Themselves and Y re-
manned SOOU IleluS, uut AOliS Va tnShA SfSh ~
much as thought of trying to play another prach-
cal joke upon him.
-&--
He Won't Stay Retired.
A leading Democratic Senator" is re-
ported saying that his party were willing retire
Grant if he will stay retired" which suggests an
anecdote of a certain major general who was
known as " Old Fuss and Feathers" during the
rebellion His command met the enemy's ad-
vance guard and drove it back. The general at
once sent Hail Columbia telegram to head
quarters announcing that he chad whipped the