Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1881-08-30
AWAIC.
TRUE.

"Oh, many q shaft, at random sent
Finds mark the archer little meant"
And many a word at random spoken,
Accounts for many a head that's broken.
A Fishing Expedition.
"Say, my dear" said Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke, with social sort of grin, "how
would you like to go a-fishing ?"
"Wouldn't that be perfectly lovely J"
squealed Mrs. Spoopendyke. II never
was fishing in nay life, and always
wanted to try it. Where can we go?'
"Well, there are lots of phases around
Brooklyn. Last summer saw boys
catch a good many fish off the dock at
the foot Of State street. We might 60
there"
"Just the place." conceded Mrs. Spoo
pendyke. "Perhaps we can catch some
sardines. I'll bet Al spool of thread get
the first shad !" and in her glee Mrs
Epoopendyke waltzed acroos the room
and back again.
Mr.. Spoopendyke smiled pleasantly
upon his wife and started out into the
yard to get some worms, while Mrs.
Spoopendyke sigged herself up for the
pending excursion.
"Got any fish sticks?" she asked as
Mr.. Spoopendyke returned rather warm
from his exercise.
1--WE got some fishing rods, if that's
pendyke, "but 1 could only find four
worms"
"Can't we break'em in two?" inquire
ed Mrs. Spoopendyke, anxiously.
could if we had q buzz saw" grunt-
ed Mr.. Spoopendyke. "Come along II
you're coming" and thoroughly equip
ped for the expedition Mr.. and Mrs.
Spoopendyke set out for the State street
pier.
"How long before they bite ?" asked
Mrs. SpOopendyke, hosting her hook
out of the water and examining the
point of q worm her husband had i'm
paled thereon.
They'll probably bite at that as soon
as they can borrow q stepladder," re-
torted Mr.. Spoopendyke, cycling the
dangling hook "if you calculate to get
any fish you'd better let that thing
down in the water"
"Oh !" said Mrs. Spoopendyke, drop.
ping the hook. "Do you think I could
catch gold-fish ?" she inquired, after 8
pause.
Hi! hold on i! there, I lost him p
calculated Mr.. Spoopendyke, firing hil
hook up towards the Heights.
$50 did I ~ chimed Mrs. Spoopen.
dyke, as she fell over backward ao(
shot her sinker into Mr.. Spoopendyke's
ear, II declare we both lost him"
''What We doing? ?" demanded Mr.
Spoopendyke. what did We lose Pr
When I'm pulling in a fish you Just si1
still, will We? Think my heads fish
pond? Drop it, 1 tell We! drop it in tn,
water. There! Now sit still and fish
Another time I'm pulling in Spanish
mackerel you let things alone. You
made me lose that fish,"
you ought to have caught him,
said Mrs. Spoopendyke, soothingly
"you fished splendidly for him."
II understand the business" rejoinet
Mr.. Spoopeudyke, somewhat modified
'sYou see he didn't even get the bait
big "a he VAST
"I'm glad Of that, because we've only
got three worms left. How I'd like t
catch an oyster. Do you know +"
3 Hist Sh>h- b Quiet, now! I've go
him! See me play him Now I'll fetcl
him!" and Mr.. Spoopedyke realed in
until he landed an old boot.
II didn't know that fish had spurs OF
like chestnut" said Mrs. Spoopendyk'
quivering with excitement. "Cracl
him and let's see what he is"
"Crack your grandmother ~ snortet
Mr.. Spoopendy Ike, shining the boot u,
the pier. HE wssn't good to eat. any
way. I'll get something"
whats the matter with my stick
Let go, you nasty thing Here's another
one! Quick I"
"Poll him in, can't ye? You've go
bite! Haul up!" cried Mr.. Spoopen'
dyke, trying to untangle himself from
his line and help his wife lift him on
of the water ~
"He won't let me-" squeaked Mrs
Spoopendyke. holding both arms out q
full length. "Take him off! Scat! q
away, you monster"
Lift your pole straight up in tn
air! !" shouted Mr.. Spoopendyke. "Hois
the dod gasted thing right up"
Mrs. Spoopendyke exerted herself an(
disclosed an eel, dangling.
tits rattlesnake!" she yelled. "Dt
not 60 near him, Fire! fire !! murder
police! police eel"
"Hold your yawp. will ye?" bawlet
Mr.. Spoopendyke. Get him over thu
dock SO I can catch him! What "
holding him out there for? Waiting fol
him to dry? Stick that pole straight W
IN the ar, tell vel"
Mrs. Spoopendyke threw the poll
over her shoulder and Topped the ee
into Mr.. Spoopendyke's cOuntenance
"Dod CAST the measly eel !" he howled
as he spit it out. 'Stop waving thai
slam-basted lightning-rod like q fieg
will We? Hold it still, say. Think
you're tree 2"
Don't touch him. Throw him over
board He'll sting you to DEATH" CUR
gled Mrs. Spoopendyke, and, forgetting
that the pole still exercised an influence
over the eel, she gave it jerk and il
slipped through Mr.. Spoopendyke's
fingers. That gentleman made spring
for it, and swashed into the water.
NHen blad, baa. waggie, glu, hic, ga
gaggleW sputtered Mr.. Spoopendyke as
some lightermen fished him out.
did you catch cold, dear?" inquired
Mrs. Spoopendyke, with solicitude, as
they made there way home.
"If did, I landed it ~ growled Mr..
Spoopendyke, blowing mud like the ex-
haust of tug.
Anyway. I caught an eel, didn't ?'
asked Mrs. Spoopendyke, carrying out
the woman's idea of comforting man
with the only thing he don't want to
hear about.
"Oh, you caught itW ripped Mr..
Spoopendyke. you're fish woman,
you are Z? All you want now Is glass
sides and some bubbles running through
yea to be an aquarium Another time
we both go fishing you stay home You
hear ?u
And with this novel mathematical
suggestion, Mr.. Spoopendyke hurried
himself to his domicile and took rum
sweat.
BRO. GARDNER'S LIME-KILM CLUB.
Am brudder Artichoke Hurricane in
de hall ?" softly inquired the President
as the triangle ceased its echoes.
Mr.. Hurricane was there. He rose
from his seat and walked slowly for
x,ord IN fbo procidoptyc doeh