The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1881-01-05
VARIETIES.

money box-its full value is never
known until it has been broken.
Eve was the Grst and only woman
who did not gather up her skirts in
both hands and yell at the sight Of a
snake.
Married life reaches the acme of
happiness when woman can eat
crackers in bed without any COM
plant from her husband.
Boy, aged tour, taken to church for
the first time, listeaed to the organ
for few moments and then said,
when will the organ man let the
monkey out?"
"Why," asked . Sunday school
teacher of little boy, "diG Jacob
marry the two daughters OF Laban?"
81 dunno, except perhaps he was sat
ished with one mother-n law"
A North Carolina man will work
four hours to chop down a tree that
a coon is in, but nothing would in-
duce bin to split up enough wood to
cook supper with. lVhe latter pro-
ceeding isn't sport.
Never condemn your neighbor
unheard, however many the accuse.
lions preferred against him. Every
story has two ways OF being told,
and justice requires that you should
hear the defense as we'll as the accu
sation.
A Philadelphia paper says: THE
fewer feathers a woman has in her
bonnet III this world, the more she
will have on her wings in the world
TO come" This sort of trimming for
heaven is carrying the millinery bus
mess to far.
The owner of a pair of bright eyes
says the prettiest compliment she
ever received came from a child OF
four years. The little fellow, after
looking intently at her eyes mo.
ment, inquired naively, Are your
eyes new ones ?"
A fond mother hearing that an
earthquake was coming, sent her
boys to the country to escape it.
After a few days she received note
from the friend saying: For good
ness sake, take your boys away, and
send along the earthquake instead p
. - ~-zsrp wore u srr,avrvsir
d cpld sweat standing in great bead
Z UPON his forehead. whats tn,
S matter Y asked his companion "a
fearful dream I drealnt was a
I work p II told you that that las
l minceple would give you a horric
S nightmare.
do you want to to kill the child?
exclaimed gentleman, as he saw
boy tip the baby out OF its carriag,
# on the walk. mo, not quite" re
r piled the boy; "but if l can get hin
d to bawl loud enough, mother viii
O take care of him while l go and wad
: in the ditch with Johnny Bracer !"
o do you love her still on asked tn,
d Judge of man who wanted di
J vorce. '"Certainly l d." said he; &C
love her better still than any othe
II way, but the trouble is she will neve
e be STILL" The Judge who is mar
$ RED man himself, takes the cas-,
q under adyisement.
AT somewhat fashionable party
a young man approached table fo
d the purpose of taking a cup OF coffee
j. AS there was no milk at hand, h.
2 turned to Miss and said ''Nel
4 lie, I wish you would drive the COW
e in; / want some milk" The re
, spouse of the young lady was
f "Wouldn't it be better for me tc
f drive the calf out?"
Christianity is to me, and has ever
' been, since learned to live by it
> not so much fresh mystery as g
!, revelation OF mysteries-a mystery
! shown" not clouding, but an un.
yelling; not new riddle whose
, glory is that being is the divinest,
but solution of many riddles, al
though indeed not OF all.-lKrS.
Charles.
A minister who had preached sew.
eral times in all asylum for the in
sane was especially drawn toward
one Of the patients who had listened
intently to his sermon. The last time
he preached there he referred to the
custom OF Hindoo women throwing
their children into the Ganges. After
service he sought an opportunity for
personal conversation with his
eager listener. The patient grasped