Democratic messenger. [volume] (Snow Hill, Md.) 1869-1973, 1881-07-30
WIT AND WISDOM.

A MAN is known by the company he
keeps out of.
An exchange has an article on How
to drive hen." 1t is shoo-her way.
A CRANK is new name for lunatic.
1t shows that something has turned his
head.
A MAN cannot be tolerably honest
any more than a woman can be tolerably
/ virtuOus.
THE Germans are all good gardeners.
Americans initiate them only in cultiva-
ting beer gardens.
A MASSACHUSETTS town rejoices in
the name of Woodtick 1t should be
popular picnic resort.
"WHAT is the proper gait for girls ?''
asks a journalistic contemporary. We
should say garden gate.
EVERY man is fond of striking the
nail on the head, but when it happens
to be his finger nail, his enthusiasm
becomes wild and incoherent.
"GRAcIoUs wife," said father, as
he looked at his son Williams torn
trousers, "get that little Bill reseated."
And she replied, $50 WILL"
BRUSH, the electric light man, predicts
that electricity will soon be stored for
family use. Think of sending your
oldest boy to the grocery store for a
paper of saleratus and two pound can
of electricity.
6" IN wendin' your varus ways to your
varus homes" said the President of the
Lime-Kiln Club, as the clock pointed
to the hour of ten, "let each one carry
wild him de feelin' dat a meek answer
turneth away wrath, an dat bluster am
rewarded wild black eye"
A SYRACUSE girl broke off her engage
ment because her lover joined base
ball club. She felt that she would
never be happy with man who had six
fingers and his nose broken, and four
teeth knocked out, and who was liable
to dream that ne was Darlington home
run and knock her clear across the room.
= Webster (1fass.) Times.
He belonged to a church with a
steeple, and prayed in a manner most
grand he chose his companions from
people who were ranked as the best in
the land but with all of his luminous
morals, vice over him hung black as jet,
and darkness his crown of bright fiorals
he played on the fiendish cornet-
Modern ArgO.
THESE moonlight nights are glorious
at the seaside. "Isn't it heavenly"
said Miss Sillybilly to Mr.. Polo.
"What ?" heasked. "Why, the moon,"
"Oh, yes. just too utterly heavenly for
anything" "Oh, 1 do Just dote on the
moon, don't you?' " Yes, it's awfully
nice, isn't it, and so splendidIy con-
spicuous. too"
PooR little fly Hewas fitting about
the table, and In little while he settled
on the glucose, but the waiter brushed
him away so rudely that he fell into the
oleomargarine. There he struggled
bravely, and at length he got his legs
loose and flew-alas only to drop into
over the beets.
In THE Treasury Department there
lies 81, 400, 900 If unclaimed interest on
government bonds. This shows how
little some people care for money. No
doubt great deal of that unclaimed
interest belongs right in the newspaper
offices, but the bonds have probably
been mixed up with spring poems and
sold for waste paper. The boys are too
awful careless about these things.
A COUNTRY clergyman, who on Sun
days was more indebted to his manu-
script than to his memory, called at a
cottage while its possessor, a pious
parishioner, was engaged reading the
prophecies of Isaiah. "Weel, John,'
familiarly inquired the clerical visitant.
"what's this you are about? ?" 81 am
prophesying, was the prompt reply.
ProphesyingP' exclaimed the astound-
ed divine. 81 doubt you are only read
ing a prophesy." "Weel," urged the
religious rustic, "if reading a sermon be
preachin', is ma reading a prophecy
prophesying
INSIDE were half dozen ladies and
gentlemen, when the driver stopped the
car and said: "There is somebody in
this car trying to beat me out Cf fare
Tie passengers looked at each other and
all said they had put in their fare. 1t
don't make any difference. There are
only six fares in the box and seven peo-
pie in the car" Then a gentleman got
up, and with sigh put in the missing
fare, reinarking: 81 put in one before,
but as l was once in the Legislature
everybody will say it can't be anybody
else but me, so I'll have to stand it.