The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1881-07-28
That job Was Lost.

young man who left Detroit for
Deadwood in March, in the best of
health, and with lots of good clothes
and plenty of money, got home the other
day with his weight reduced twenty y-eight
pounds, his elbows and knees out to the
weather, and his stomach entering upon
three days fast. He had no particular
adventures to relate and no apologies
to make. All that allied him was that he
didn't understand those ar-Western
people. He didn't realize that you have
got to take 'em on the run to bring 'em
down, and he consequently put his foot
in it at every move. Soon after reach
ing Deadwood, and while getting away
yao T'th Il a'nnsy f 5sa Ct rfiHtPNr riHtP stgeBBser
zard and a chicken and several other
ornithological cognomens, and ended by
kicking the crown out of his plug hat.
Now, the proper way would have been
to pull out a pepper and have popped
that stranger until the monday sun
would have lighted up his whole interior,
but the Detroiter let the golden oppor-
tunity slip away and was whistled out of
the neighborhood.
Then some one told him that he might
strike job in tho railroad offices. If he
had obeyed instructions he would have
been all right. He was told to slant his
hat on his ear, light fresh cigar, and
walk in on the magnate and say:
"Hello! old 7x9-how's your bully
health this morning? Have q smoke?
Bet you will! How are all the boys,
anyhow? Got place here for chap
who's up to snuff, and the strongest
brand at that? Come out and gulp
something OF my expense. Nothing
mean about me, and don't you forget it,
old pard!'
Yes, he lost tho situation through his
own obstinacy. He sneaked into the
Office like a sheep-stealer, put his hat on
q chair, and family inquired if they
would be so everlasting good as to inform
him if there was n one-horse vacancy to
be filled. They gave him the boss bounce
inside of minute, and after that nc
bootblack would look Mt him.
Then there was provision dealer who
was sadly in want of an assistant. The
Detroiter was just the man for the place
except that he wasn't He was put on
the right track by hotel clerk, who ex.
plained
"Now, this Jones is rather queer, and
you must strike him right. You want
to 60 in and cuss him from his eyebrows
to his toe nails, and when you gel
through you can pretend that you took
him for old Smith, just around the cor
ner. He's great cusser, and he'll take
to you like molasses to shingle."
That job was also lost. The Detroite,
called at the store, explained that he
had heard so and SO, and ended with &
wishy-washy request to be taken OF
trial--salary no object. Old Jones heard
him through and then called him Mich
igan dish-rag, on Eastern mulberry anf
ever so many other things, and tried tt
hit him in the back with barrel of Obi
cago hard tack.
It was the same in dozen other cases
and finally prominent citizen of tn
town took it upon himself to halt tn
Dotroiter on the street and say to him:
"Say, boy, this amt no town for you
Hadn't you better get up and fy?"
The Detroiter couldn't fly, but he hat
n gait of six miles on hour, up hill AM
down. He also. got lift on a freigh
train now and then, and ho has now re
turned to people whom he can under
stand and appreciate.
| e -------------o <ee-ss--..---------
"DoN'T weep my friend," said the pas
tor TO the sorrowing widower, as he stoo
beside his wife's co!dn. "Don't weep, sh'
has gone to heaven" eyes, I know sh
has gone there" " aobbed the afflicted man
"and that is what makes 1t 30 hard to bear