Clearfield Republican. [volume] (Clearfield, Pa.) 1851-1937, 1881-11-02
"HOWJS STOCKS?"

! see that Frenchman has got a
patent for canned energy, observed
Mrs. Spoopendyke, as she picked up a
lot Of cut steel beads on a needle and
began sewing them on medalions for
dress trimming.
SCOT a what?n interrogated Mr..
SpOopendyke, who was backing his
boots
ayes. He can put strength up in
bundles and send 1t anywhere, so they
can run ships and things without steam
He sent ever so much over to Scot
land"
"What circns bill have you been
reading now?' queried Mr.. Spoopcn.
dyke, glaring at his wife.
"lts So" she replied 81 saw it in
the Eagle. He does it up like pre-.
serves and it lasts ever so long, and it's
just as fresh and strong when they
open it as it was at first"
"Who put it up2 What are you
talking about?"
"a Frenchman He gets lot of
strength and fixes it with electricity,
and you can put it anywhere. I'm
going to get some and take it. I'll be
just as good as going in the country,
and maybe itll help my headaches |
suppose the Government will buy lot
Of it for tramps."
you've gone crazy againW demand.
ed Mr.. Spoopendykc. "Wbat dye
mean by putting strength in boxes?
Think energy is some kind Of dod
gasted fish 2 S'pose you can put main
strength up in hottie like measly
shrimp lfyou're going to read why
don't you read straightT
"Wby, ] did. lie has got some kind
of machine, and he makes energy so
it will last and then he soldiers It up
in tins, or something, so you can keep
it in the house. I'm going to have
some and do the washing"
"Does it strengthen up the mind of
dod gasted idiot p blurted Mr. Spoop-
endyke, "Can it make measly Spoop-
endyko woman talk sense |"
"The paper don't say; but if it is all
they claim for it, it will be great help
in house cleaning and moving the step.
ladder around when you want to, hang
pictures, And then it saves boiling
beef tea, Oh, You ought to read
about il.
"Dye mean to tell me that they're
selling muscle by the keg2 Want me
TO understand that some frog cater is
keeping industry on draughty Think
Pm an ass z"
"Thats what the Eagle says" re-
joined Mrs. Spoopendyke, with wom-
ans implicit reliance an anything in
print, "And they can make it in any
quantity cheap, so we can have all we
want. wish you'd get some right oif,
and I'll try it on the Fridays sweep
ing"
"Quitl" howled Mr.. Spoopcndyke.
"Stop making an idiot asylum Of your
self! S'poso you can make me b'ieve
that house cleaning comes in jugs 7
Think I'm going to believe that a
weeks wash comes in q box like
measly pills? P'rhaps you want me
to think that your dod gasted stuff
will pay the rent and run my bust
ncss2 Next time you strike corn
salve you read il understandingly-ye
hearl Energy by the pintl Strength
by tho yard Got that rip sewed up
in my pants p
"Yes, dear" murmurcd Mrs. Spoop.
endyke, meekly, and Mr.. Spoopen.
dyke, having arrayed himself plunged
out of the house and made for the
ferryboat.
"lIollo, Spoopcndyko' saluted his
friend Specklejam, "see this thing in
the paper about the Frenchman who
is boxing up energy"
ayes, certainly" replied Spoopen.
dyke, !"and Two been all the morning
trying to explain it to my wife, but
these women can't understand such
things llow's stocks - Brooklyn
EdgL