Public ledger. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1865-1893, 1881-12-14
q GREAT NAvEE.
The American secretaree ON a
Tour OF Inspection.

my youth up, and have long desired 10
see Que. Pray, do theyfoat? Which
end goes first? Why not have one
stick instead of three sticking out Of
the deck? Why is not that stick up
right like the rest2p asked the Score.
tary of the Navy of the Commandant
Of the Navy Yard, pointing to the
bowsprit.
"That is the bowsprit," said the
Commandant. "Bowsprits never stick
up. They are meek and lOWly in all
their ways" :,
"What are these holes ior2" asked
the Secretary, pointing to the open
hatchways. why have you made
such deep excavations in the vessel2'
1.-THE ship is built around these
holes" said the Commandant, but
they extend no further than the water.
If they did the ship would sink"
"Were you ever in a storm at sea
asked the Secretary Of the Command
ant.
"Only once" replied the Command
ant. 1T was a typhoon in longitude
81 off the Equator. We were blown
clean out of the water twice, and
spun for miles through the air like a
balloon. | shall never forget the ter
rible appearance of the sea as we
looked down upon it from the clouds,
We got down safely to water at
last, and tied the ship to a water
spout"
"Deary, deary me-" said the Score.
tary, chow interesting. And you lived
through it all. Tell us seine more.
But let me inquire first, is the capstan
Of vessel equal in rank to the cap
tain"
I'm ordinary times" said the Com
mandant, "the Captain outranks the
capstan. But the capstan always takes
command Of the ship when the anchor
is weighed"
Indeed" replied the Secretary.
but where is your fourth castle2 |
do not behold any castles on board at
ALL"
Fourth castlel fourth castlel What
do you mean, Secretary asked the
amazed Commandant.
why, in all sea tales I've read Of
the fourth castle" said the Secretary.
"0h, you mean the 'fokestle' said
the Oommandant.
"The WHAT" said the mystiied
Secretary.
"Fokestle, fokestle -place where
the crew live. Down there" said the
Commandant.
why it's a hole" said the Secre
tary. Captain, | do MT approve of
your keeping your men in such dark,
damp cellars. They'll catch the
rheumatic"
And dqthe sailors really climb up
there?" asked the Secretary, pointing
aloft-"up those little rope-ladders?
How perilous!'
They do" replied the Command
ant.
II must improve on that" said the
Secretary. II will save the life Of
many a gallant tar. Let all the masts
be provided with hydraulic eleva-
tors"
1T shall be DONE" said the Com
mandant.
Call the officer Of the watch" sud
denly demanded the Secretary; then
remsrking in an aside, IN show him
that | know something about ships"
The officer appears
"0ficer," said the Secretary. show
US your watches. | want to see il
they are all 10 good order"
"Sir, the watches we're all sent on
shore this morning to be cleansed,
replied the officer of the watch.
That's pretty work" groWled the
Secretary. why, where's the ships
.jeweler? How do you suppose you
would have the correct time if you
were to keep an engagement with an
enemy?
"We should take the sun pre-
viously," replied the officer Of the
watch.
Il do not wish you to take the Sun,
Numbered the Secretary. Il will not
allow the Sun to be taken On this or
any other United States vessel You
do not need the Sun. II is a villain
Gus, vicious paper bright, and edited
with a certain amount " Satanic abil
ity. | admit, but demOraiizins 70 the
correct discipline Of the navy. IF you
desire to take anything, take the Even
ing Post or the Philadelphia Ledger.
Take a good, heavy paper that will
serve to ballast both the ship and your
minds. Well. sir, if you have no.
watches on board, show US your clocks.
You are officer Of the clocks as well a.
the watches, are you not?"
Aye, aye, sirl' said the officer Of
the watch.
I'll II What In the world makes
you so egotistical in expressing your
self Why don't you say YES. sir.
like a white mani" said the Secreta-
ry."
Eyes, sir. But l am sorry to say
that it wa necessary to reef the pen
dulums Of all our clocks during the
last gale, and they've not been shaken
out yet"
And what's all that banging for?"
said the Secretary. "Isit a naval en-
gagement?"
I'VE are firing the customary salute
Of nineteen guns 10 your honor, said
the Commandant.
u. 20, you are, are you? Are there
bullets in any Of emp Are thew
pointed this way2 | don't like it. Il
makes me nervous. | shall have that
practice stopped. Commandant, after
this fire anvils or toy pistols, and save
' powder. Dear me, if Chester would
only let me stay, how cheap | could
run our navy. | would abolish the
ships altogether. We've got hardly
; any now, and SO far as those are con.
cerned that we have, we might as vel
!, have none at all. Good morning
! Commandant."
y Loss OF memory, universal lassitude
pain in the back, premature old age
promptly cured with Browns Iron