davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1881-04-28
THEY ALL KNOW.

Once in lifetime you meet a man who
will admit that he doesn't know all about a
horse, but he may come around next day and
claim to have been temporarily insane when
he made the admission. AS rule, every
man knows exactly what ails horse, wheth-
er anything ails him or not, and can point
out a dozen instances where nature could
have improved on her work, no matter how
we'll she did it.
Yesterday horse which had been looked
over by the fire department and rejected on
account of size was tied to a post on Girls
void street. He was as sound as q dollar,
not even showing windpuff. Pretty soon
along came two lawyers, and one Of them
remarked:
"Pity such nice animal as that is foun.
dered."
"Yes, and can see that he is windbroken
to boot" was the ready response.
Then the cashier of the bank halted and
took look at the horses teeth. He was
going away, when mail carrier asked:
"How old do you call him ?"
"Some men might buy him for II, but
they couldn't fool me. That horse will never
see Is again"
The best judges had called him 6, and his
owner had proofs that he wasn't month
older. The mail carrier felt of the animal 5
ribs, rubbed his spine and observed:
"He's got the bolts or I'm DO judge Of
horses"
Then merchant halted and surveyed the
horses legs, lifted its front feet, pinched its
knees and feeling said:
"Been pretty good stopper in his day,
but he's gone to the crows now"
The next man was ok.keeper 1t took
him about FIVE minutes to make up his mind
that sweeny was the leading ailment, al
though poll-evil, heaves and CHAMBERS were
present in a bad form.
"What is sweeny?' queried an innocent
boot black who had made up his mind thai
the horse had liver complaint.
"Sweeny?" repeated the book keeper
"look at the way he carries his tail and learn
what sweeny is.
"Oh, no." put in another-"sweeny affects
the eyes,"
81 guess not" said an insurance man 81
guess sweeny affects the lungs"
Lungs" cried broker-"you mean thf
stomach p
And they we're jangling over it when th'
owner of the horse came and led him away
Detroit Free Press.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1881-04-28
THE YORK MARBLE YARD.

VNHE undersigned would respectfully an; n
YARD, near the Railroad depot, is in full opera-
tion and th he is nov well prepared 70 f%rTssR
CASH PRICES. Tombstones for children fur
nished for from $500 upward; for adults from
$500 upward.
ne Monuments and Tomb Stones designed and
finished in the most elaborate style, and in point
of workmanship and material, equal to the work
of any establishment in the country.
Specimens always on hand, to an inspection OF
which those in want Of marble work are respect
fully invited.
Estimates and other information furnished on
application.
Work delivered at any point on the Chester
and Lenoir Narrow Gauge Railroad, between
Chester and Dallas, or at any place between
Rock Hill and Winnsboro, on the Charlotte, Co.
lumbia and Augusta Railroad, free Of charge for
transportation.
Thankful for the patronage heretofore bestowed
upon my establishment, my determination Is to
merit continuance of the same.
January 6 ly
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1881-04-28

A Few SLIGHT FAULTS IN POSTMASTER
When Judge Mclean was Postmaster Gen.
eral, he wrote the following letter to dis
missed Postmaster, who inquired why he had
been removed:
"S1R: The allegations against you are nu-
merous and strong, and chiefly these: That
you cannot write nor read are not a safe &C.
countant; not delivering letters when called
for, delivering letters frequently to persons
for whom they were not intended fail to send
letters and packages by mail in proper time !;
sometimes sending off the mail without put
ting into it any letters or packets that have
been lodged at your office; reverse the desti.
nation of letters, and send them back to the
place whence they came; have not sense
enough to discover the error after the letters
have been repeatedly returned make fire.
quent and gross mistakes in the bills forward
ed to other Offices; open packages addressed
to other post Offices when a mail is called for
by neighboring postmaster, handing out any
one, right or wrong; disobey the regulation
respecting dead newspapers appropriate half
a dozen Of them to your own use for two or
three years, and resort to the miserable spec
ulation of selling them for wrapping paper !;
6il up circulating library with periodical
works obtained in this way are uncouth in
your behavior, odious to the population ;
heap error upon error, and avail yourself of
these errors in order to supplant your employ.
err; have been tried by the vicinage and
found wanting; and to sum up, they charge
you with want of principle and capacity"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1881-04-28

MAGN1F1cENTLY SoLD.-No medical So
ciety could be imposed upon as once was the
London Medical Society. They were au-
thentically informed that sailor had broken
his leg, and it had been cured in three days
by the application of tar and oakum. They
Immediately broke the legs of such animals
as they could get, bandaging them with tar
and oakum, but the legs did not get we'll !;
and they wanted to break some mans leg to
test this wonderful cure. Finally, they
wrote to their informant to learn, if they had
used the right kind of tar and oakum, and in
the right proportions. He assured them all
was right, and added in postscript, that the
leg being of mood, tar and oakum was proba-
bly, as good as anything they could have
used.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1881-04-28
EXCRUCIATING.

SCENE LIN front or 1aShlonaOle nOtel.
Gentleman dsmounting from bis horse.
'Stabler, attend Refrigerate my beast by
allowing him twice to crcumambulate yonder
fountain; that accomplished, to imbibe a
moderate quantity of acqueous particle; con-
duct him with care to the repository for wea-
ried beasts, and having clothed in lustre his
dirty skin by gentle application of the veg
etable material, commonly called straw, suffer
him to partake of food which shall afford
nourshment and gentle repose."
Stabler-(laughing) "W.h-a-t, sir p
Genteman-"What, sir! Stand you like
one who has no reason in his soul, while this
poor beast, whose every pore is fount of
gushing strength, grows valetudinary meath
Soils oppressive rays. Ye volatile barbarian y
Stabler-Qaughing still more unrestrained-
ly) 81 can't understand word you say, sir ;
but suppose you want your horse put up. %
Gentleman-"Stupidity unequaled! Land
lord, illuminate your censures against this
tardy churl, who thus manifests opugnation to
my desires, and conduct me to secluded apart
ments, and bring restoratives of most viviic
character, to reinstate to their former power
the wearied energies of my exhausted frame. .
acknowledgements And you
sir, unite in the disgraceful merriment of your
miniou! should surmise myself the first Of
the species you had ever beheld"
Landlord-(aughing still more "1ndeed
you are, sir"
Gentleman-"Terminate this prolix scene
and oficiate as guard to my apartments. Al
the hour of dinner, summon roe. If weari
soneness should have caused ME to be recum
bent in posture, gently rsanimate me with the
breath of fam"
SCENE 2.-The Dining Room. Gentleman
seating himself at the table, dinner over, anc
others standing in the room.
Gentleman-"I should judge voracity and
ignorance prevailing characteristics of man
see nothing among these reeking ruins wor
thy the regard of gentlemaH's palate. Wait
er, desire female fowl, sufficiently, but moi
redundantly made edible by fire."
1t is brought.
Waiter, dssect with care the same. Dc
not violently separate the parts, lest my joints
should suffer dislocation from the discordan'
sounds"
1t is done.
Waiter, place a tender portion of the
breast upon my plate, with necessary accom-
paninents."
1t is done as ordered, and the gentleman
commences his dinner.
A wag who, with others, had observed
these proceedings, seats himself at table op
posite our hero.
Wag-"Waiter, furnish me with female
fowl"
The waiter understands the joke, and does
as he is bid.
"Waiter, dissever now her component
parts"
1t is done.
"Waiter. divide those parts into portions
suited to lubial capacity"
Opening his mouth, and throwing himself
back on his chair.
"Waiter, place one of them in the ori6ce
before you.''
Our hero begins t. understand the quiz,
and is evidently much disconnected.
"Waiter, ,0ag my jars J"
Amid roars of laughter, and curses upon
his lips, our hero rushes from the room.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1881-04-28
MILL MACHINERY.

VXTELLS BROTHERS respectfully inform the
w public that they are prepared to contract
for the construction of all kinds of MACHINE
RY AND FIXTURES for the operation of Saw
Mills and Corn and Wheat Mills. Their long
experience in this line of business warrants them
in giving assurance of satisfactory work, which
will be guaranteed in all cases, and at reasonable
prices. Would be pleased to hear from all par
ties contemplating the erection of mill or similar
machinery.
We are the owners of the exclusive right of a
mode of dressing MILL STONES, by means OF
which we will guarantee Mill of not less than
twelve-horse power, which grinds twelve bush
els of grain per hour, to increase the production
TO twenty-four bushels per hour. Address us at
Yorkville, s. c., or Whitaker's. s. G.
w. 8. WELLS, J. w. WELLS.
M. R. WELLS I. G. WELLS.
March "a l2 3ma
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1881-04-28
-Namuruus department.
PATRICK'S SERENADE.

Och Bridget, mavoureen, joost open the winder.
And give me glimpse av your beautiful face; /;
Ny ancient dudeen is all burnt to cindere
And boogs are very thick in this murthrin place.
Sure, Biddy my girl, it's no joke for ganius,
To walk all day 'nath the botherin' hod,
And thin in the night, serenade young Vainus,
Clane up to his knees in the muddy ould sod.
I'm dyin' wild rapture, my jewel of creatures,
niver lover more willingly howled;
But don't yelet scorn wrinkle up your sweet fea-
lures,
Because your poor Paddy has got such cowld.
The lightnin' is roarin' the toonder is tlashin',
The moon is no bigger than nothin' at all;
And such an outrageous and divlish splashin
Inever did hear, since the days was small
Thin open the winder, my queen av affection,
Or, what is as good, plase open the door;
Nor drame that you're sure of escapin' detection,
1 know ye're awake, by the length ov ye're
shnore.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1881-04-28

Observation-Disclosures usually be-
gins with a slight dry cough in the morning
then, on going to bed getting more and more
frequent, with more and more phlegm, in.
creasing debility, thinness of flesh, shortness
of breath and quickening pulse. In fatal
cases its average course is about two years
hence the Importance of arresting the dis
ease at as early stage as possible, and
the sooner rational means are employed
for this purpose, the greater the chances OF
success.
The disease is owing to an irritation com.
mencing in the throat and extending to the
lungs 50 that their action is interfered with,
and the blood does not receive sufficient oxy.
gen to purify it. The first thing to be done
is to remove the obstruction which is the irri-
tation or congestion of the lungs. -Four
ounces of glycerne, two ounces of alcohol,
two ounces of water and one grain of NOR
phne make an excellent mixture for reiev-
ing the cough. 1t should be taken in doses
of two teaspoonfuls every two hours until
the cough is relieved. The chest, just below
the neck, should be rubbed with tartar eniet'
ic ointment every morning over space as
large as the hand, until thick crop of sores
is brought out; then rub the ointment be-
tween the sores to bring out a new crop.
Meantime the patient should take regular
and vigorous exercise in the open air. There
ID nothing that equals horseback riding as
remedy for this disease.
If consumptive we're to olive in the sad
die" and sleep out of doors, taking care to
keep the feet dry and warm, and to live upon
good, nourishing food, in short TO trough it"
he would recover his health in few months,
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1881-04-28

n9~ A farmers ambition should be to own
smaller land titles and better land to own a
less number of stock and BETTER stock. More
praise to him who raises one thousand bush
els of corn from ten acres than to him who
raises the same from twenty and to him who
feeds FIVE COWS into making pound of butter
each day, than to him who has ten cows and
gets half pound from each and to him that
makes yearling porkers weigh as much as his
neighbor's twoyear'olds, than to that neigh.
Dor. AS much as 2l2 bushels of corn, so
bushels of wheat, 60 of oats, 70 of barley, so
of rye, of clover seed have been reported
from one acre. Hogs have been made to
weigh 400 pounds at one year old. Steers
2,400 at three. Forty pounds Of wool have
been sheared fom one sheep. Seventeen
pounds of butte have been made from one
COW in week. And the closer farmer gets
to these results the more the world owes him.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1881-04-28
INFIRMITIES OF TEMPER.

think more downright unhappiness and
misery are caused by ill.temper in the home
than by all the embezzlements, iD6delities
and crimes put together into which poor hu'
man nature falls. One individual-man, wo.
man or child--is possessed of an arbitrary,
overbearing or furious temper. You never
know at what unfortunate moment his tenn
per will explode. A chance word, an un'
lucky allusion or mistimed jest, will set it
off, for the fuse is always laid, and it needs
but one touch Of the match. Five or ten
people shall be made temporarily wretched
because one person-unconscously, perhaps,
yet supremey egotistic and selfish, has never
learned to control his disposition and bride
his tongue 1t may be the head of the house
who is apt to be cross at breakfast time, and
be goes away to business, leaving weight of
depression behind him which he is wholly un-
able to estimate or measure. 1t may be the
mother who gives the rens to fretfulness, or
who looks like martyr, when everybody is
irving to please her. Her husband carries
the thought of her face to his counting room,
and the children miss their lessons and re.
ceive discredit marks because they did not
get we'll started for the day. Even a child
who is willful, capricous and stormy in mood,
can overshadow family and lessen the sum
of its daily delight.
A great many badtempered people are
very good in some regards. They are truth.
full, generous and kind. They will go to all
lengths to do you service. They will divide
their last dollar with you, and sit up with you
when you are i'll and suffering. Yet they
will not scruple to trample on your ordinary
comfort, to wound your feelings constantly,
and mortify you by outbreaks of passion
when they ought most to be patient and cour'
teous.
What is to be done about it? For one
thing society is to blame. We must cease to
look upon an infirm temper as venial Of
fense. We must let the person who habitu.
ally indulges in it understand that he cannot
be at once bear and saint We must not
talk or think of bad, by which we mean an
irascible vindictive, or malicious temper, as a
misfortune to be pitied merely. 1t is rather
a trait to be condemned and sin to be
ashamed Of The ill-tempered person should
be met by reproof and by good.humored but
constant resistance. Too often he carries all
before him. For the sake of peace every
body keeps quiet. 1t is an old lion, and who
shall stir him up2 The abject submission
of friends and kindred to the ill-temper of
some one they both love and fear, intensiies
and augments the evil
The ill-tempered adult was once child.
The fault was once manageable. On parents
and preceptors, then, heavy responsibility
lies since theirs is the duty fright training
Christian Weekly.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1881-04-28

OATMEAL-The use of this article of food
has greatly increased during the past few
years, and if all we hear and read in lis favor
be true, it should be used to even greater
extent. The Scotch are noted as robust
and healthy people, and they make great use
of oatmeal in various ways. We believe it
would be far better for our farmer friends to
have this article on their breakfast tables eve
ry morning, than to eat so much fried pork as
a good many do. 1t must be very healthful
and nourishing for children as we'll as adults
Get good article and have it we'll cooked
and served with cream and little sugar, and
it is good. Let those who do not think so try
it for six months or year, and they will not
do without it ever after.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1881-04-28
ESTATE, JANE BARBER, DECEASED.

To all and singular Tie Cretlltors Of SAD estate;
VoU, and each of you, are hereby notified that
/ you are required to establish your demands 1na!
against the said estate, at York c. H., on the 26th
day of May next, at 10 A. NJ, before the under
signed, Special Referee appointed by the Court
of Common Pleas for York county, in the con-
solidated actions of "Erwin & Steele, Adm RS,
vs. John Barber ct al." and ~. Newman NIGEL,
wee ~. Jos. F. Wallace, Admir-" or be debarred
from payment out of the assets of said estate to
be marshalled in said actions in the said Court
April II, 1884, JNO. j. HEMrH 49,
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1881-04-28
CLEANSING AND REPAIRING.

VlHE undersigned would respectfully inform
the public that he is prepared to cleanse gar
ments of any fabric whatever, rendering them
perfectly clean and if unfaded, restoring them to
the original brightness and lustre of the goods.
Do not throw away your old clothes, but have
them cleaned and made to look as well as new.
Work promptly done, and at the most reasona-
BILE prices. THOMAS BALLARD.
August II % tt
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1881-04-28

even if the disease had made considerable
progress. The trouble is that it requires a
strong will to carry out so severe course, jim
spite of the languor and debility which dis.
poses an invalid to quiet dependency. The
most marked sign Of lung disease is emacia-
ton, and the most positive indication of re-
turning health is increase in weight.-HaWs
Journal of Health.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1881-04-28
GARRYTRON ROOFING CO.,
TURBINE WATER WHEEL.

WE have one 1s-inch RIGHT HAND TU.e'
w BINE WHEEL, as sample of Farrars
Invention. We are working l3!:inch Wheei
of the same kind, and there is no better Water
Wheel made for the same money, Those who
contemplate using Turbine Wheel can NJ 90 o, no no
Circulars giving all the details in regard to the
Working Of it, and with the sale you have the
privilege of trying the Wheel, and if it does not
do as represented, the money will be refunded.
Come and see the sample lS-inrh r. II. Turbine
Wheel. Manufactured by the SERGEANT NAN
UFACTURING COMPANY, Greensboro, n. G..
HERNDON BROS, Agents, Yorkville, S..
February 10 At u
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1881-04-28
THE WILLIAMSON FEMALE COLLEGE

ID ESPECTFULLY offers it's services to those
IL parents who desire to secure for their daugh-
ters the thorough and symmetrical cultivation Of
their physical, intellectual, and moral powers.
STUDY" PLAN, with Semi Ann ual Course Of
Study; and by system of Tuitional Premiums,
its low rates are made still lower for ALL who
average IS per cent.
uation, which is always private, may occur eight
times year.
For full information, write for an Illustrated
Catalogue. Address
Rev. s. LANDER, President,
Wiliamston 8. c..
Noyember4 45 1Y
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1881-04-28
ATLANTA AND CHARLOTTE AIRLINE
RAILWAY.
1eAAg5r4r1 $4,000
~ " IKE wv w

Il
ATLANTA, GA, January 80, 1881.
CHANGE OF SCHEDULE.
0N and after January 30, 1881, trains will run
~ on this road az follows:
FAST MAIL.
(EAsTwARD.)
Arrive at Gastonia, 40 a. M. Leave All A. M.
(wEsTwARDo
Arrive at Gastonia, 2.O5 A. NJ. Leave 200 A. M.
DAY PASSENGER TRAIN.
EASTWARD
Arrive at Gastonia, els, p. M. Leave 2.lS, P. M.
(wEsTwARD)
Arrive at Ciastonia. 2.l6 P. M. Leave 2.l7, P. M.
NIGHT PASSENGER TRAIN.
(EAsTwARD.)
Arrive at Gastonia, 2O7, A. M. Leave 200, A. NJ.
(wEsTwARD.)
Arrive at Gastonia, Ill, A. M. Leave liz, A. M.
LOCAL FREIGHT TRAIN.
(EAsTwARD.)
Arrive at Gastonia, 6.35, P. NJ. Leave sos, P. NJ.
(wEsTwARD.)
Arrive at Gastonia, $50, A. NJ. Leave 6.55, A. M.
THROUGH FREIGHT TRAIN.
(EAsTwARD.)
Arrive at Gastonia, $50, A. M. Leave 8.52, A. NJ.
(wEsTwARD.)
Arrive at Gastonia, 4.24, P. M. Leave 4.24 P. NJ.
Connecting at Atlanta for all points West and
Southwest
Connecting at Charlotte for all Eastern points.
| Through Tickets on sale at Gainesville, Seneca
r''''' N' &. ]. FoREACRE, Gen'l Manager.
w. Houston, Gen'l Pass. & Ticket Agent.
February II If
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1881-04-28

SALT FOR TREEs.-Young fruit trees can
be made to grow and do we'll in places where
old trees have died, by sowing pint of salt
on the earth where they are to stand. After
the trees are set continue to SOW pint of salt
round each tree every year. 1 set twenty-five
trees in sandy soil for each one of seven years
and only succeeded in getting one to live, and
that only produced twigs few inches long in
nine years. Last year l sowed pint of salt
around it, and limbs grew three and half
feet long. In the Spring of 1877, set out
twenty-five trees, putting pint of salt in the
dirt used for filling, and then sowed a pint or
more on the surface after each tree was set.
All grew as if they had never been taken
from the nursery. Last spring set thirty
more, treating them in the same way, and
thev have grown very finely. The salt keeps
away insects that injure the roots and rem.
ders the soil more capable of sustaining plant
growth.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1881-04-28

A9- A man will wait to get shaved in bar
Der shop for an hour with perfect tranquility !;
but the same man will come home to dinner,
and if he finds the meal five or ten minutes
late he will tear around like Bashan bull.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1881-04-28
AGENTS WANTED.

NXIE want a limited number Of active, ener-
w getic canvassers to engagein pleasant and
nrofitable business, Good men will find this
rare chance TO MAKE MONEY.
Such will please answer this advertisement
by letter. enclosing stamp for reply, stating what
those who mean business need apply. Address
FINLEY, HARVEY Il CO.,
ATLANTA, GA.
Januarv6 ly