New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1881-04-13
UNCLE TOMS MINCE.PIE STORY.
EACH year about the time Uncle Tom
saw the first snow coming he placed this
card in his store window:
HOT AND COLD
MINCE PIES.


And the sight of that card made the
pennies burn in the pockets of the boys
who went to the big school on the hill ;
for Aunt Debby, Uncle Toms wife,
made monstrous good mince-pies-
plenty of goodies in tho mince-rneat,
understand, and the pies made an inch
or more thick.
Uncle Tom charged grown people
twenty-five cents pie, but the school
boys could buy one whenever six of them
dubbed together, four cents each, max
ing twenty -four cents in all.
One morning after Christmas HOLIDAYS.
when Rufus Edwards went over to the
depot to see his father off on the train,
he found a half-dollar on the platform
that some unknown person must have
dropped there in the night.
"We'u have mince-pie feast!" said
Rufus. ''This fifty cents will buy two
pies, and two cents over; and for the
two cents we'll get Uncle Tom to sift
the powdered sugar over them double
extra thick. Two pies will cut up into
twelve pieces; there are only eleven of
us here, but come along, boys-we'll
pick up another fellow before we get to
Uncle Tom's.''
They, however, reached the store
without seeing another school-boy; but
there. standing looking wishfully at the
sign in the window, was Teddy Barns,
who carried baggage from the depot and
ran errands 10 earn money to help his
poor mother. Every one liked Teddy:
and when Rufus saw him looking 50 hard
at The sign he said, "Cone in, Teddy!
we're just looking for fellow of about
our size.'
Uncle Tom brought out two of the
finest of his pies, dourished his long pie
knife over them a moment, and, presto |!
he had cut them into twelve such equal
pieces that carpenter couldn't have
done 1t better from measurement. It
made Uncle Toms rosy face smile all
over when those dozen boys began to
eat.
"Unc!c Tom, can't you tell US .
mince-pie storyP" asked Seth Craig.
"Hurrah! please do, Uncle Tom"
they all urged. except Teddy, whose
mouth was too full.
We'll, l." said Uncle Tom, after he had
thought . little time longer, "you have
all heard of that old woman:
"'Ther e, ws Az an old woman who lived undo
And If she has not moved away she lives there
otill.'
"But some years ago she did move
away. She was Ia the match business.
You know, and she was also very wise
about making dried-apple pies, for then
mince pies had not been invented. One
day an organ grinder came along with
a smart monkey, which performed 80
many funny tricks that tho old woman,
whose name was Hephzibah, laughed
more In ten minutes than before IN >en
years. The moment that Hephzibah
could cease laughing, she offered to
trade her house under the hill and the
match business to the organ7grinder for
his monkey and his organ. The organ
man was glad enough to trade.
$50, Hephsibah started out with the
organ on hor back, and the monkey on
her shoulder, to 60 to the Allspice ISL
ends, where Nick, the monkey, came
from.
"M course, she played the organ and
exhibited the monkey In the different
places - she went along. An old wom-
On h 4 great mob cop, horn spectacles
on her nose, and laughing 50 hard that
she could scarce turn the organ handle,
while the monkey did his drollest tricks,
was one Of the merriest sights that had
ever been seen. Why, even the dogs
running along the streets stopped to see
what It oil meant; and as for the chill
drcn! they laughed themselves SO hap
py and well that for month afterward
not ono of them had to take dose Of
medicine. When Hephzibah reached
the Allspice Islands her organ was all
worn out. She also found that the cli-
mate was 50 warm that there was but
little need Of fires, and therefore no use
OF her opening match shop. So she
started spice and fruit store, where she
sold sugar. cinnamon, nutmegs, cloves,
currants, raisins, citron, lemons,
oranges, bananas, dried apples, and she
also made dried-apple pies.
The Allspice Islands people didn't
seem to care much about dried-apple
pies, and as Hephzibah had to sell The.
other articles at q small profit, she
had 3 pretty hard time to make . liv-
ing.
"One Thursday morning when Heph.
zibsh had finished rolling out her dried.
apple pie crusts, and had just put the
under-crusts in the pie-platss, into her
store rushed the Second Chief Clerk Of
the Naval Department to beg that she
would 60 TO the house Of the Exceeding
y Grand Admiral of tho Allspice Isi-
ands, and try to do something to re-
ieve his third nephew, who had eaten
two quarts Of dried apples. oh. do
sick!' implored the Second Chief
Clerk.
...Now I should rather think he
would be- said Hephzibah, washing her
hands.