The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1881-07-26


ladies, in her most winning way, "were
| to STAY another five minutes l should
never be able to go. Whispering to the
other ladv) for should he fast asleep.
The billy goats pretty bird,
And loves to dine on shirts;
But for midday luncheon he
Prefers TO eat hoop-skirts.
Old oyster cans and rubber shoes
-Appraise his appetite,
While barrel-hOOps and cOrset-stays
Fill him with great delight.
Did Won serve i'm the war, uncle?''
NO, sab: was acowardlv niggah. Twas
Kentucky niggah. And what did want
to list foh?'' 'Were not the white men
fighting for you?" "'Spo>e dey was. Dat
was no sign why We should fight. Massa,
did you cbber SEQ two dogs tighiin' over :.
bone?' We'll, what's tina, got To do with
your iighting?" A heap. mas>a. Did
Won ever see the bene fight" The que>-
TONER left amid \ general laugh.
-Apropo, of the affection displayed by
the southern women for the confederate
cause Senator Ben Hill SAYS that Mobile
the front piazza one afternoon while a de-
tachnent of troops was passing Sud
denly the little dog darted from her lap
and ran toward the garden gate, barking
furiouSlv III, mistress rushed into the
hallway. CRYING IL ii her hear, would
break: ''Dn. ma, m',. come down stairs (:
I'm iraii Gyp will bite the army.'
Adam carried the iir-, vote ci the frs!
ward. City oi Eden in Ii, YES; pocket
keoknk Constitution. Where did he
carry his vest Stubcnviie Herald. We
are on the Eve of asking that question our
>eiye>.-Cincinnati SATURDAY. Night.
We were almost ready Ia reply that We
didn't care Adam where he carried it. but
on reflection We though ii wou,dn'i dc.
She noticed iha, his face wore a ,.en-
-ive look. Henry, dear" she said. "arc
vou thinking oi that bii>>iui time when
We shall be one-tiie time when We shall
Tx 50, 80 happy: YES. he lasted iem 4
little too tight around the iil>tep," replied
Henry: and when she wondered at So
strange an answer Ia her question. Henry
had To rise up and explain that his new
boots were weighing pretty heavily upon
his mind. and that, thought he occasionally
saw stars h. was no, thinking of a>;rono-
my.
The story is told that when the veteran
circis man. Dan Rice made his first trip
through the country, he SAT M the tent
door taking the money a. the people pass
ed i'm. One day IN freshman came up.
handed him a quarter. and walked III.
Rice called out Ia him, Hold on there ::
its fifty cents" Never mind. keep it.
Dan, we're welcome Ia il. replied the WAY
as he disappeared i'm the crowd.
Fowls are gluttcn>; they take peek
Al every mouthiul.
Singers are often the most miserable of
Gods screechers.
-Woman's write>-One page .oi letter
and three of postscripi>.
We wouldn't care to he the prettic>t
girl alive. We'd rather i.c next to her
Man, like buckwheat cakes, always
feel sweetest. when surrounded by 'la>>es
-"O-hi-O" is Japanese for show do Won
do" but American for give me an Office"
The man who took seat i'm the
Orchestar when his ticket was for the
second balcony felt badly at having to
change In fact he was moved two tiers.
Pm afraid that bed is not long
enough for you," said a landlord to severn
foo; guests. "Never mind" he said. iii
add two more feet to it when get in
-"Do Won drink" said temperance
reformer to a beggar who had implOred
aims of him. "Yes. thank YOU" returned
the candid pauper: where shall we go?"
In certain parts Of Germany the
pcasantry consider it good luck to meet
pig. Ii isn't considered good luck in this
country, that is, ii it is in car and you
want q seat.
When We read over the programme Of
a sacred concert, we can family appreciate
the feeling of the devil. 1t is hardly treat
ing him right to thus to steal his best tunes
for Sunday Use.