Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1881-01-13
IN. Y. Times.l
Can Oelibacy be Excused.

lilCo ubtSlSu W anu Pch va Allt
beauty and benson of marriage that the in
ference is emphasized that celibacy is with
out compensation Young men are contin-
ually advised and urged, privately and pub
licly, to take wife, the supposition being,
whether erroneous or not, that young women
are very willing to be taken under almost
any circumstances. The poslulate that mar
riage is always desirable is obviously false.
1t is only desirable when such conditions
exist for and between the couples as are far
from common, and frequently unattainable,
The prospect of connubial misery would
seem to be quite as good as the prospect of
connubial happiness, and no amount of
foresight or discretion will insure any pair
against sharp disappointment and bitter dis
content Everybody is aware of this-it is
little less than truism-and yet on all sides
preachments resound in favor of universal
matrimony.
Are the preachers malignants in disguise !?
BY no means. They are benevolent enough,
but they talk without knowledge and ad-
wise without experience. They think, be-
cause marriage IS natural that it must be
beneficial, when its possible benefit depends
solely on the mutual fitness of those who
undertake it, and on the characters of their
surroundings. They advocate the coniugal
lottery without remembering its numberless
blanks, as they are called. though a conju-
gal blank is something much worse. When
prize is not drawn, woe is very likely to
come in its stead. Celibacy is a thousand
times better than an inharmonious marriage,
and certainly safer than the most promising
union. Celbacy is at worst only an alb
,fy y,,ta,,ttol
riage at worst is the sum of human wretch
edness, and as it usually is, is very different
from the romantic notions formed of it,
From its supreme reality, its inevitable mat
ter Of fact, Its endless prosaic details, it is as
far as it well can be from the ideal 1t has
its advantages, of course, and many of
them, when it is propitious; but it has,
under the most favorable circumstances, its
disadvantages also Much may be said in
its behoof, though the falrest life ever turned
to the sun has its shadowed side.
50 with celibacv A deal of censure NAV
be pronounced upon it, and rightly but il
has its recompense. Many persons do not
wish to be married, and more generally
those anxious to be-are not fitted for the
state Good wifehood or true husbandship
is not inherited with birth; nor does it ap-
pertain to the multitude Those who can
not live alone cannot as a rule live together
Connubial adaptation is evidence Of self-dis-
cipline, of forbcarance, or individuality. The
best wives and the best husbands are doubt
less they who, with a variation Of their des-
tiny, would have been model maidens and
model bachelors. Nor is it improbable that
many who would have been the noblest pat
terms of welded domesticitv are to-day en-
joyinS themselves in single blcS>cdnesS
Wsile it may be truthfuIly said that wom-
en in general would prefer to be married if
they could be happily married. very mo-
mentous. though seldom considered, hypoth-
esis-there are many men ''ho have no de
sire to be husbands. much less Ia. .hers OF
family, under the most favorable cmtunl-
stances. Albeit matrimony presses far more
weightily on women, and involves twice the
responsibility, care and anxiety that it has
for men, they are much readier to accept il,
from constitutional p-oclIyity, from ardent
hopefulness, from capacity 70 believe what
they are eager to believe, from an overflow
ing sense of its proprIety, from a sort Of
consciousness that it is a duty they owe to
themselves and society at large Matri-
mony. moreover, furnishes, presumably, sup
port and material independence, and while
i diminjsbes their Ebprtv IN ona .ide i in
crea.es their liberty IN H. othcr Tbar arc
ant to be always in state Of tnfelorc tbay
are accustomed 10 nromntinr md ~Tidancn.
they wish and need someboCS to lean on. to
he tbe:r cnnrsclor comraninn d;r.rtnr
friend and a husband is tbe MAST nersnn ~,
the whole. If M be worthy ID d;scbaryr
these functions. Indeed \ husband is a.
life and society are nj nre.nnt ordered o.-
sentiaI ID the ropndnrss ard fIIna,s NJ
woman's existence
Men have not the same motives or tba
same feelings for welI,ck fbaf women ;,.,l,,
Their instinct toward The other Sex has no
necessary connection w;tb con;u,,Iit,.
some in fact Great morv men arc nn.it.
iyely and by Temperament anti-dnmettic-
have no liking for and no ,,rat.f,l assoria-
tjops with home WIFE and chiIdran afford
no pleasant image>-tbe ypry onnositr in
trutb-aIl the ar1nm4nts emnlov.6 in beb,Jf
of marriage are. to their mind arguments
AGAINST !, Fnr sucb nap VI h..nIr,. nm