The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1881-10-21
g Affldayits Are Not Lobsters."

/ at preSent, 10, flO.
+" Affidavits Are Not Holsters"
Gen. James Grant Wilson furnishes
the Cape Ann advertiser with the fol-
lowing pleasant gossip about old Admiral
Coffin-one of the Collins, by the way
and the great variety about Cape Cod Of
Holsters weighing exactly ninety pounds.
Sir Isaac Coffin, British Admiral and
a member of the family which held a fa-
nous reunion Mt Nantucket, August Is,
was born at Boston, and when child
lived for some years on Cape Cod. Sir
Isaac came to this country soon after the
war of 1912, and during the voyage he
stated to the officers of his flagship that
when they reached Cape Cod he would
show them Holsters that weighed ninety
pounds The rules of quarter deck do
not permit you to fatty contradict an
Admiral, but still some doubt and dis
trust was visible on the countenances of
the Captain and Lieutenants who stood
around. "Well," said Sir Isaac, eff
that when we reach Cape Cod / will
produce lobster that weighs ninety
pounds" The wager was made under
the gracious permission of the Admiral,
and when they arrived there Sir Isaac
secured the Cape, but he could not find
any lob ster that weighed ninety pounds,
so he said "Well, they don't happen
to be here just now, but / will obtain
che affidavits of the old fishermen TO
prove that there are such Holsters"
And he produced pile of afiidavits,
showing that when there were fishermen
in early times Holsters that weighed
ninety pounds were as common as
huckleberries on the Cape. Then it was
left to an umpire to decide, which had
lost and which had won, aid by him SO
concise a judgment was given that if
now living it would entitle him to the
vacant Judgeship in the Massachusetts,
Supreme Court, if all his decisions were
equally good. His decisions was that
"affidavits are not Holsters"
The distinguished member of the Cot
fin family, writing to his friend Commo-
dore Isaac Hull, in 1916, says : "Many
thanks for your kind exertions send
the ninety pound lobster when you can.
Ny reputation will be saved, although
my money is gone," and in another let
ter now lying before me the Admiral re-
marks The lobster you committed
to Capt. Tracy arrived in good condition,
and is considered marvellous one here.
Still my friend Sir Joseph Banks longs
for one of ninety pounds" Whether
Hull succeeded in saving Sir Isaac's
reputation by sending HIM a ninety
pound lobster L very much regret L am
unable to state, but venerable Glouces-
ter fisherman whom the writer consulted
on the subject said "There amt been
no SIGH Holsters seen on Cape Ann durin
the last sixty years, an L don't believe
any SIGH were ever caught on Cape Cod. !"
IT would be supposed froR its popularity
that only one substance is now known to the
world for the relief of rheumatism, and that
is ST. Jacobs Oil.-St. LOUISE Mo- Dispatch.
A PrOdigiOus Worker.
In general terms it has often been re-
peated that President Garfield was what
Queen Elizabeth called Sir Walter Ra-
leigh, ga prodigious worker" One
might add he was worker of prodigies.
Yet doubt If one person of thousand
has any adequate idea of tie hardships
of study, privation and trial whichs Pres
ident Garfield was subjected to, especial
ly in the later years of his life. AS he
grew stronger, after he had reached the
maturity of his wonderful intellectual
power and greatness. he came to be In
demand everywhere as political speak
er, and he bent every energy OF mind
and body to meet the increased demand
for his services. He never spoke but
upon full preparation, and SO when he
entered the campaign, year after year,
he was almost exhausted physically by
the protracted vigils and meditations
over his books, to which, more than any
man since Clay and Webster, he was
addicted. His physique was matchless
in form and fiber; his nerves, though
very fine, had the strength of steel, an d
he could, therefore, stand enough to kill
hundred ordinary men. He drew
largely, lavishly, on this immense store
OF vital and nerve force, as ii he had
never thought of there being any limit
to It's endurance. He had labored long,
patiently, earnestly, In comparative OBJ
security, and, if L must say so, happen
to know he felt it keenly. Once, sitting
in the Office of the Gibson House in
Cincinnati, after he had glanced warily
and with pardonable air of disappoint-
ment at the Cincinnati dailies, he asked
sadly Why do the editors here treat
me so unkindly?" 1 replied at once,
Because, General, they have great men
of their own. Hoadley, Pendleton,
Young, Matthews, Cox, and so on for a
quantity. You live out in the country,
away up on the Reserve. But your time
will come by and by. when they will vie
with each other in the attempt to praise
and fatter you" He smiled sadly, but
said nothing. 1 rather thought that he
believed what said, but was never
sure of it. That was less than two years
ago.-Cor. Chicago Tribune.