Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1881-02-10
Mlistellaueulls &eadiug.
HOW TO MAKE OUT A BILL.

The Syracuse Herald tells the following
good story, which was originally from the
lips of well.known sexton and undertaken:
He had funeral to conduct for the family
of Mr.. NJ, wealthy but eccentric merchant.
When it was over he handed in his bill, made
out after the usual custom. Mr.. M. put on
his eyeglasses, opened the bill, and read it
clean through. 81 see you have charge of
$50 for kid gloves here said he; show many
pair did you buy?"
"A dozen," was the reply.
"And here again you have charged $50
for scsrfs used in the procession. How
many scarfs were there, and what did they
COST?
IL had to have dozen of them-two new
and the rest cleaned and made over. Their
entire cost was about $35."
"And you have put down carriage hire at
$50. How many carriages had your"
Eight in ALL"
"And they cost you how much apiece?'
-Four dollars"
"WelI, sir, | decline to pay your BILL"
The sexton was thunderstruck. The gen.
teman had never before been known to dis.
pute a reasonable account with any one, and
ne WAS TeputeQ very Tlcn.
81 could have gone to the store and bought
all those gloves for 81 pair myself" the
millionaire went on, cor S24 for the lot.
could have hired ten scarfs and had the 9TH
er two made for S25. could have got the
carriages at the livery stable for s52 Twen-
ty.four and thirty-two are fifty.six, and thirty
five makes ninety one. You have charged
me Sl86 for articles could have purchased
myself for S9l. presume there are other
items of the same sort elsewhere in the &C.
count"
"But, Mr. NJ, -"
81 decline to pay the bill sir; take it back
and make it out right"
"But, Mr.. NJ, | must make something on
these affairs; this is the only means have Of
gaining livelihood"
snake your bill out as you should, l
say"
Sadly crestfallen, the sexton was about to
turn away, when the merchant pointed to
seat at his writing table.
"Sit down there" said he, "and will teach
you how to make out bill. In the first
place, enter the hearse, coffin, advertisement,
&C., as you have them. Then write: "One
dozen pairs. black kid gloves at $2-S24 to
making two scsris and repairing ten old ones,
S35; to hire of eight carriages at S4-S32'
Now you have your account correct so far as
it goes But you have said nothing about
your own services so write: TO sections
service, $780, Is that satisfactory If not
make it S200-%hatever you consider
a fair sum. We shall no, dispute about that
What | object to, is not the amount / am
called upon to pay, but the preteXt under
which it is demanded. Your first bill wash t
business like your second will do. Do you
see the difference?
The sexton both saw and admitted it. He
learned a lesson from that interview which he
never afterward forgot.
SUNLIGHT-The sun, if you will only open
your house to him. is a faithful physician, who
will be pretty constant in attendance, and
who will send in no bills. Many years ago
glass was sort ofluxury, but now we can all
have good sized windows, and plenty of them,
at moderate cost, and there is no excuse for
making mere loop.holes through which the
sun can cast but half an eye, and from which
one can gain only narrow glimpses of the
beautiful outer world.
l am sufficiently acquainted with the con-
servative character of many country people
to know that expressions of disdain will come
from some quarters when mention bay win.
dows. Nevertheless, bay windows are good
T thing. Their effect is very much like letting
heaven into ones house, at least, ought to be
like that, for it is nothing but absurdity and
wicke dness to darken such windows with
shutters or heavy curtains until onl ly u strug-
Cling ray of sunlight can be seen.
If hay windows are too extensive. very