The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1881-06-23
UartEtp.
VARIETY SCRAPS.

Raised cain-Adam and Eve.
Awater spout-A temperance oratIon.
Oar friends faults reconcile Us to their virtues.
It's for the lack Of more hair that women wear
mohair
Debts are better unpaid when 1t comes tc owing
a grudge.
'Ts better to live in harmony than in palatial
dwellings.
Politeness is like great thoughts-it comes from
tle heart.
The Sheriff always seize things differently from
other people.
Curiously enough good hatels are great inn.
convenienCes.
A baldhead is flies paradise-Ex. But many
fly slips up on It.
he who has not mastered himself, by whom can
he not be overcomeH
II can't possibly be beat" as the drum with a
| busted head remarked.
Hoarding money is covetousness squandering
| 1t is equal folly and sin.
Poverty may excuse shabby coat, but 1t Is no
excuse for shabby morals.
Unworthy of note-The man who has his prop.
erty all In his wife's name.
Manageable young ladies pI efer to spend Sun
day evenings in an kneesy manner.
There is always two sides 10 a question, and
frequently many more to Its answer.
ut pains me to have 1t happen" remarked the
boy when he had touch Of the collie.
The man always ready with huzzah for his
favorite candidate Is a cheerful giver
Motto Of the good colector-Never put off un.
I'll tomorrow what can be dunned to day.
That's money out of pocket" as the fellow re.
marked when he found quarter on the walk.
How would it do to refer to the youthful and
inexperienced hOrseman as a green mounting
boy2
The most delicate, the most sensible Of all
pleasures, consists in promoting the pleasures OF
others
Nature has written letter OF credit on some
mems faces which is honored whenever 1t is pre-
sented.
A good doctor is gentleman to whom we pay
three dollars visit for advising us to eat less and
exercise more.
I'VE are living at present in the very arms Of
tyranyl' exclaimed a Western scribe. Aha Just
been married. have you2
He who is false to present duty breaks a thread
in the loom, and will see the defect when a
weaving Of lifetime is unrolled.
Western editor, who started a newspaper,
called 1t The Smallpox, so that everybody would
take 1t when they got where 1t was.
pastor who is brought constantly in contact
with old maids discovers that the longer woman
remains single the more singular she becomes
The blind man heard them quarrel ard strike
the blows, but he could not see them, yet when
the trial came off he was subpoense as an nigh
witness.
An eco nomical Correspondent Of Maine consults
us on the matter Of making little money go
good ways. According to our ideas the best way
would be to put 1t in an envelope and send it to
us.
General Grant saw an artist copying a picture
In gallery and he said, II would rather have
the original than the copy" 1t may not be neCes
sary to explain that the original was handsome
female.
A Chicago editor got hold Of a map the other
day and presently exclaimed: "By tunket the
Mississippi river runs by st. Louis, doesn't 1T"
and then he wrote paragraph referring to the
Mississippi as a miserable little brook.
FrenchmRn is about to be beheaded. Under
the guillotine priest approaches him and says
my friend, have you any last wish to maker
The wish Of dying man is sacred" "Yes," re.
piled the doomed mar, II want to learn English"
A gentleman was complaining on change that
he invested rather large sum Of money In Wall
street, and lost 1t ALL A sympathizIng friend
asked him whether he had been a bull or bear,
To which he replied, "Netther; was aIsckass."
gentleman from Indiana recently registered
in an Illinois hotel and locked at the printed no.
tce In his bedroom, "Please do not blow out the
gas" The occupant Of the adjoining room heard
him remark, Il pay my money and I'm going to
blow out the gas If want TO-"
Il cannot sing the old songs" shrieked an
amateur soprano the other night, and while she
took in breath for the next line young man
who had looked In for a moment was heard to re.
marx, casually but emphatically, You just bet
you can't" 1t broke u the concert on the spot.
At the table are monsieur, madame, Btbe,
and madame's cousin. "It you will kiss me-"
said the cousin to Bebs, "Ill give YOU a penny"
Don't do It," said papa, you'll have whiskers
like his" "oh, amt afraid" said Bebe, mama
kisses him every day, and she don't have whis.
kers"
An ambitious young man started a newspaper
in Pscopi, Col, recently. In the frst number he
wrote these sad lines; This may be our funeral,
as no man knows when his is comingI" The en-.
tire edition had been printed when the editors
stock of property was attached for debt by bar.
keeper.
Among the sentiments" in Mrs. Hayes's teeto.
tai album appears the following signed by Mark