The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1881-05-20
HERE ANN THERE.

HERE AND THERE.
There are already $1,000 miles of tele-
phone wire in the United States. The
"helio' business is growing rapidly.
Conkling has confessedly made the
greatest effort of his life. But it is to
deplored that 1t should have been such
bowling blunder.
Ben Buffers iOc0me is 100000 a
year. This, of course, is independent OF
amy casual revenue, which he may de-
rive by way of spoons.
The man who has discovered what
Messrs. Conkling and Plat have made
by their childish, "won't play policy,
ia secetling from the senate, is fairly en-
titled 10 Chrome.
The yoluminoas communication o
Messrs. COnkling and Plat TO Governor
Cornell has not convinced the country
that tlle step they have taken was ether
respectful or necessary"
Mrs. John Brown has received a gift
of nearly 5000 contributed by those
who wished to show their admiration
and reverence for the good old man
whose "sOul is marching on"
An Illinois journalist declares horse
seized little girl with his teeth at Day
ton, that state, carried her several blocks
and then trampled her 10 death. He ex-
plains that this is not snake story.
A tramp who was knocked from a
railroad track the other day, by loco
motive, did not know that anything IN
usual had happened until the engineer
explained. Probably the engine struck
him on the cheek.
The Red Cloud Indians are to haye a
boarding school. AS soon as the insti-
tuition begins business. the pupils will
begin to write tn their parents for money.
Then the proud old braves will learn
some of the miseries ofcIvilizaiicn.
While the qualifications of Col. Rob-
ertson for the responsible position of
Collector of the Port of New York is
at present matter of speculation, it
will be readily admitted that as bone
of political contention he is an athletic
and towering success.
Kansas City Times: Iago Conkling
(s0lus)-"For when my outward actions
doth demonstrate the native act and fig
urc of my heart in compliment extern,
tits not long after but 1 will wear my
heart upon my sleeve for Dawes to peck
at: l am not what am"
Win the astronomers please stop dis
covering comets until people have time
to get their summer clothing in order
Superstition or not, there is sure to Ike
some regularity in the weather when
ever these celestial cruisers get within
telescope range.
There was recently double marriage
in a circus side show at Galveston. The
giant welded the fat woman, and the
skeleton become the husband of the
Circassian girl. In celebration of the
happy event a banquet was given in the
tent to the employs of the circus.
The act passed by the Indiana Legis.
lature, authorizing women to serve as
county school superintendent, has been
declared unconstitutional. The great
seal of the Hoosier State should be
amended TO the extent of substituting
for the buffalo a yellow dog, as the sig
ficant emblem of its liberal and progress
sivc civilization.
Atchison Champion: A country de-
batting society in a northwestern Kansas
town recently tackled the delicate ques.
ton. (Which is the most delicate sense,
feeling or sight?" An adolescent Web
ster made profound argument in favor
of sight, but a more mature logician set
tied his hash by saying: "Now, Mr..
President, my eloquent friend can feel
his moustache, but nobody else can see
it."
st. Louis Globe Democrat: At Will
kesbarre, Pennsylvania, ON May 8, fe-
male gymnast was shot from a catapult
in Barnum's circus, that being part of
the advertised performance. She, some
how, missed her ordinary safe landing
place and received such injuries that she
died day or two ago in hospital in
New York. Since the accident her per-
formance has been regularly gone
through with by a younger sister, who
will probably end in the same way. Is
it not about time the authorities should
put stop to such brutal exhibitions {?
They can do no possible good in the
way of instruction, and the only amuse-
ment in them is the danger to life and
limb which has a morbid attraction to
the worst classes of people.