The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1881-10-27
SENSE AND NONSENSE.

ulOu W I'LL men.
Driving is becoming fashion among
the Partisan ladies'. Some of them man
age the ribbons with great skill.
The clam has larger mouth, in pro-
portion to it size, than human being,
yet clam never talks about its neigh
bors.
Esshetic: The utterly utter" kind of
talk has infected the street gamins. one
of whom, after picking up more than
usually fragrant cigar stump, ex-
claimed to his friend: Jack, this is
quite too positively bully Boston
Transcript.
Iowa, who is six feet four inches tall,
man who won her did it in these words:
we'd thee right or wrong; man wants
but little Eere below, but wants that lit
tie long"
Discussing friend: ooh, I grant
you he has some good points, but he is
so awfully violent. Why, he yesterday
called his uncle brigand, q robber, and
said he would end his days on the
scaffold." Eyes, but he wouldn't have
talked so about stranger. = LIE
Figaro.
A Western coroner's jury returned
verdict that the deceased came to his
death from exposure. What do you
mean by that?" asked relative of the
dead man. There are two bullet holes
in his skull" just So" replied the cor
oner; 'he died from exposure to bull
let's"
Ornithological: Waiter" said he
examining his reed bird critically, 81
should Judge from the bill that this was
an Engiisl st..4u". He finished and
was handed his check After glance
he remarked: WAITER, 1 was wrong;
Judging from the bill that was Pom
peiian nightingale
Thrilling incident: Adolphus' cour-
age was up. Falling on his knees he
cried: Angelina, dearest, make me the
happiest of men by accepting my heart
and hand" Casting one look at the
great paw. Angelina thrilled in every
fiber rs she replied sweetly: "Oh, Adolf
plus, this is more than l expected. -
Boston Transcript
Confding love: Charlie, have you
got hooked nose ?" ''Yes, darling"
answered Charlie. smiling, I'm afraid
it is little liable to that criticism"
well, l never should have noticed it,
she added, indignantly, ''if that horrid
Sprigg girl across the way hadn't told
me to ask You if you wouldn't like to sell
it for a syphon y Brooklyn Eagle.
ooh. CHARLIE exclaimed the elderly
Miss Prim, i've learned lots of things
this summer-been studying botany and
geology and" Charlie What,
more new wrinkles, Miss Prim ?" Char
lie meant no harm, but Miss Prim was
heard to remark, as she gazed into her
mirror that evening: 1.-The idea. More
new wrinkles, indeed! The saucebox!'
Said Angelina suddenly breaking the
oppressive silence: Don't You feel afraid
of the army worms, Theodore, that are
coming 80 rapidly this way?" The ques-
ton was such strange one that Theo-
dore's surprise caused him to look right
at Angelina for the first time in his life.
He wondered why she asked him that.
"Oh, nothing she replied, as she toyed
with her fan; 'only the papers say they
eat every green thing wherever they go.
Massachusetts pays higher than the
average To school teachers, giving them
| ONCt GU ipi WIS put thO ASAatsAc
teachers are cut down to 500 80. The
average paid to women in New Hamp.
shire is $22 S3 month; in Nevada it IS
$S3. The male teachers receive from an
average of $25 "a in South Calolina to
$S4 As in Nevada, and $50 AZ in the Dis
trict of Columbia In Maryland the two
sexes have the same average pay-S43 40.
Some persons do ask the queerest
questions. A woman writes to an editor
asking chow TO kill reaches" There are
hundreds of WAYS to kill 'enl, and one of
the most effective is to catch roach,
place 1t on the blackboard and hit it .
smart blow with the potato masher. An
other sure way is to drive lath nail
through the insect, or get it between the
leaves of "A big dictionary and slam the
volume shut with italic emphasis. 1t is
easy enough to kill reaches, but how to
catch EN- may bother her.
Scene-Augusta's boudoir. Lucy holds
an open letter in her hand and says:
"Well, you see, dear, l only met him at
Mt. Desert this summer, and we did firt
desperately, but it's too absurd, his writ
ing to me now and proposing, isn't it?''
Augusta bold, l think; but
then, it's just like man. Shall you ac-
cept him?" Lucy-"Well! don't know