Osage Valley banner., 1881-11-10
All About the Weather.

hh,sh pretty warm = grvNled tho
!, man in the corner.
why, tho weather
"What weather2F more grusily than
ever.
"Whv." the man with thin clothes
said. looking ns though he wished he
hadu' begun II, "this weather"
Well said the man Ia the corner,
4" "how's this weather. different nom any
Other?n
The man with tho thin clothes looked
nery0uslY nj the dun mule aud said ait
was warmer
(" How do you know it isP'' asked tho
man ia the corner.
The other man began TO visa he was
we'll out OF -. and said ho supposed 1t
was; no hadn heard how the =
+" Isn't tho weather the same every
where?' sayGgely demanded the mar
in the corner.
"Why. no." the man with the thin
clothes replied, wishing TO goodness he
had newspaper TO hide behind: emo;
IT, warmer some places, aud Some
places it y colder"
What makes il warmer III some
piacesthnn it's colder IN othetsF' re-
morsclossly pursued the man in the
corner
why the man with thin clothes
said, piteously' +" the san; the elect Of
the suns heat"
Makes il colder IN some places than
it's warmer ia othcrs?" roared the man
in the corner, Indignantly. Never
heard ot such thing"
No. the man With thin clothes
hastenod 10 explain. IL didn't mean
that. The sun makes it warmer.'
Then what m ikcs IL col.ter2' pur.
sued the remorselcss man in the corner.
The man IN thin clothes wiped the
beaded perspiration from his pallid
brow. and said, slowly, "he guessed It
was the ice"
WHAT iceP" demanded She inquis-
itor.
WAY the victim said, with every
symtom Of approaching dissolution ap-
parent in his tremulous voice, The
Ice that was frozen --froLen--by tho
frost
"Did you ever see any ice that wasn'.
fro2cn?' howled this man in the cor
ner, IN line burst OF derisian.
The man in thin clothes huskily whis-
pered that he wished he was dead. aud
said i" No; that is, he believed he
didn't"
Then" thundered the man IN the
corner, "what are you talking abOut"'
The man ia thin clothes made AN ef-
fort TO brace up. and spicilY replied
that he was trying 90 "talk about the
weather.
"And what DO you know about itp''
-tt ala t-fFn 10 81
corner. What do you know about
the weatharP
The man iu thin clothes lost his grip
again, and feebiy said that " nc didn't
know very much about IT. that was
fact And then he tried TO be- cheer
tul, and work in little Joke about no.
body being able 20 know much about
this weather but the man in the corner
sat down on him with u tremendous
Outburst.
No, sirl | should say you didn't.
You come into this clr and force your
self on the attention 0i stranger and
begin 10 talk TO me about the weather,
just rs though YOU owned il, and Ind
you don't know q solitary thing about
the matter yourself selected FOR Your
topic II conversation; You don know
one thing about meteorological condi-
tions. principles, or phenomena; you
can tell me why IL IS warm In August
and cold In December; you don't know
why icscles form faster in the sunlight
than they do in the shade: you don
know WIZ the earth grows colder as 10
comes nearer the sun; YOU cant tell
WIN a man can be sunstruck in the
shade; YOU can't tell me how eyclone
is formed, nor how tho trade winds
blow; You couldn't lind the calm center
of a storm II your life depended on IL;
you don't know what a sirocco is. nor
where the southwest monsoon blows;
you don't know the average rainfall IN
the United States for the past and cur
rent year; you don't under tlnd the for
nation Of fog. and you can't explain
why the dew falls 40 night aud dries up
in the day; you don know wis wind
dries he ground more quickly than y
hot sun; you don't know one solitary
thing a0Out the weather and you are
Just like a thousand and one other peO-
pie. who always begin talking abOut the
weather because tIev don't know any
thing else, when by the caves OF Boreas,
sir, they know less about the weather
than they do about anything else in tite
wordn'
And the man in the corner glarcd up
and down at the timid passengers in tho
South Hill car. but no man durst Hn-
swer him. Amt rs for tho m with
thin clothes, he didn' know for the lie
Of him whether ho had a sun-stroke or
an ague chill. Nc only knew thal it
seemed about tweaty-seyen miles 20 the
Jefferson street crossing. BHr'tugtyR
HqWheye.
The Oldest Living Twins.