, 1881-01-16

it his victim could discover it h. -
plore heaven and earth to atts,s s'eaa&t i
would swear "by all the eodS !; ;a1 + Z
the elixir Of life,-barrels fun ~ - pne,
it at the feet Of ''hls friend ,, =
promise to convert the mnoon: ~ -. tss
cheese and store it away for hi; s e
use; nay+ he would agree to e~.,. ai
temper of his mother-in-law. ana h, !
self under the penalty of the los. ss4q =. !
mortal soul to cure the merchant ~ u ash
of cheating and the politician of d. y
lying. But the misery Of it all - =
has no object but to talk. Tbe: nse.! sRp
wants to sell cake Of soap wbIch y.
move grease spots, freckles, and st,,' sa
the moral character is no bore ~ W y
have only to assure him that IN. ~ u
grease spots, or thar you like efe,!:s
that you have no freckles,. q r. |es
like freckles,-regard them =. n
spots; that You have no st,f,. ~
your moral character, or That ynn !, %
wnat stains you possess as vittues~san u
only to convince the itinerant mss: sata
Bore that you don't want his catss..
and won't have it. to quickly transts, t;'
portunitles to your next-door neiehhss
a dilapidated clergyman, guilty oplr ss., y.
crime Of having preached dozen co,' "
tions to sleep. so1icits subscriptm :. 4
conversion of the heather, you hayr a,,1sa
say politely that you prefer tho iiti': =
should die in their sins to be lid NJ w.
old gentleman who weeps for the he,tt.] G.
Africa but has no tears for the ht,t.s !!
"Buer" avenue. II you are oiterza, ~
of matches at two prices it is thu ~.
thing in the world to get rid Of the ~
chant by taking the gross Of nztehe. =,
paying the two prices. You mjrht ~
the boy a liar and make him bIn.h -
how much easier to pay the :.nr., y
the lie! If you want to indulge h -
form take a man Of your sf;e
to speak, tirst-class merchant WIN a.
wooden nutmegs, or Eastwood hams mn,
min tea, or dead animal grease but,, y
sanded sugar. Go to him and say:. Ys,.
poisoning the stomaehs Of the cop,m1,e,.
you ought to be ashamed Of yourself !,
Perhaps you might get Kicked out of A.
merchants Office, but you would kans.
satisfaction Of feeling that you bad h.
kicked in the holy cause Of refefm! 'Tnn
spectacle merchant just in from tia I'M
house where he had superinte1dd =,
branding Of suine as butter might call ~,
" Bore" But you could easily show bhnh
error, because you could prove that yo,h
an object in view,-the high and holYtm
of REFORM; and the real Bore h.s no o5ko
whatever in view. No. Itinerant pedGe,
are not bores. 1t is pleasure to set nn.
right before the public. They pures
legitimate calling, with the 1egitimateddn
Of making money; and if their soap hAs
remove stains from the moral chazadaka
the fault of the manufacturer who hasA
it soap and published its virtues, not -of II
ragged peddler who yends it.
Certain conditions are essential to thaez.
of a full-aedged Bore. Aga il -
Of them. Boys are sometimes impudeatk ID
their i1npudence stops far short Of tn. ~
lime audacity which characterizes tha ~
Eessiona1 Bore. No boy ever Jet achie,a
the renown Of confronting fulEgrown na
in the possession of all his faculties, seaA
1T his desk in front of huge pile tnea
immediate attention, and thea ID
there reducing him to q mental pulp ut
forcing him to the verge Of insanity. fcu
professional Bore is at least 50 Or q Iesna
age. He has q profusion Of whita hatEu
lis bald pate is as smooth as a billiard hl
lie is of commanding presence. His aet1
,lothes appeal to the sentiment ot :HsT; h
of the Turreydropian onkt, tst
lids familiarity; his eyes hare the glBaa
'ascinarion; his manner is that Of aak
President about to refuse discount
When he has wiped the perspiration I'M
his manly brow in summer, or rernosdn
olded his gloves in winter, seated himself IT.
lsked in chair, and confronted his yEa1t
he conquest is complete, and it only Ienao
Tor him to torture and then devour bis pst
The bored individual may futter llsaan
lis cage. If he is man of remarkablsFe
ence Of mind he may observe casually Is
here is a case OF smallpox next door, oftT
lis wife died day before yesterday and y =
the funeral is appointed for an hour m1
The Bore is happy to state that be has ~
smallpox, and that he also has lost Hliss
;wo. The bored individual mentally VISA
hat his tormentor had been carried @a
mall-pox, and that, that failing, he bad ta
instead Of his wife, and then succumbs nn
awful fate. What blessed thing 1t aoaA
,e ii the professional Bore could be seaS