davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1881-12-15
TORMENT, INDEED.

q. Lies vexations do not generally come on ono
ike storm descending the mountain or like q
whiriWind; they come as the rain does in some
sections OF the world-gently, but every day.
One Of LIES discomforts Is presented herewith:
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1881-12-15

O6o 0A1 AOAx 4b1A ~ VIC
time and interchangeable
he malefic influence Of
le Dog Star. 6peakingof
logs and the Dog Star re-
minds us ofa boys story
of 9 dogand the comet,
and which we here give
in a short extract from
the boys letter: "Golly,
Bob, you ought to ha'
been there last night to
a-seen the fun. Tom
Winkins' dorg Toddles
was a-settin' at the gate
again at the CONT,
when along comes old
Svkoa fl,,rno6 rot TOW.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1881-12-15


sharply called to the attention of the people
more than four years ago. 1t is to be hoped
that some welldefined measure may be de-
visnd before another National election, which
will render unnecessary resort to any expe-
dent of temporary character for the de-
termination of questions upon contested re-
turns.
INABILITY OF THE PRESIDENT.
Questions which concern the very existence
OF the Government and the liberties of the
people were suggested by the prolonged ILL
ness Of the late President, and his consequent
incapacity to perform the functions Of his
ON Office It Is provided by the second article Of
section, that in case Of the removal Of the
President from Office, or of his death, resigna-
ton. inability to discharge the powers and
the vice-President. what is the Intention Of
the Constitution in its specification Of
Inability to. to discharge the powers and
gencies which calls the vice-President to
the exercise Of Presidential functions? L. the
inability designated in its nature to long
broader importl what must be ito extent
and duration1 How must its existence be
established? Has the President whose inabil-
os SS'e Il ss
decision Of that momentous and delicate ques-
ton ooniided to the Vice President, or 3 It
Should p sSs e lion that
s else; What should constitute inabil.
os y sut sna how e .. sHr ;. By What tribunal
inability proves 10 be temporary In it's nature.
and during it's continuance the Vice-Prcsidenf
lawfully exercises the functions Of the Rxec,,.
tive, BY what tenure does he hold his OflIcef
Does he continue e President for the remain
der of the fOuryeers term, or would the
elected President, II his inability should Ceeee
IN the interval, be empowered 10 resume lis
once, and II, having such lawful authority, he
should exercise II, would the vice-PreG3dent
De t1ereupon empowered to resume his powers
ana duties e suchf cannot doubt that these
important questions will receive your early
ana thoughtful consideration.
Deeply impressed with the gravity Of TIE re.
ep0nstbi!ittes which have 60 uno xpectodly
oevolved upon me, II will be my constant puis
e VIII promote the glory Of the country and
the prosperity Of it, people.
wAs1uorox, b, c., Dscember Z III
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1881-12-15

Cancers and Other Turner'S
are treated with unusual success by Worlds
Dispensary Medical Association, Buffalo, n.
Y. Send stamp for pamphlet.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1881-11-06
A California Betting Story.

John Mackay, the mining millionaire,
has in his employ at Carson, New, an
expert named Maurice Hoeflich, who
always offers to back his opinions by
betting. This Eannoys Mackay, who
does not like to be disputed, and is fur
Their fretted by the fact that Hoehich
usually proves to be in the right. One
day Hoeflich was playing with an enor-
nous grasshopper. 1t could jump over
twenty feet. and he said:
"Tll ped you $50, Mr.. Mackay, dot
you can't find a hopper to peat him.
The rest of the story, as told by the
Appeal, is as follows: Mackay sent a
trusted emissary down to Carson Valley
to secure contestant. The man spent
nearly week catching hoppers, and
reported that the best gait any of them
had was seventeen feet. He doubted
if bigger jumper could be secured.
The next day he had about dozen
hoppers, and Mackay gave them quar-
tiers in his room as Vanderbilt would
have stabbed his stud. Each had a ci-
gar-box to himself, and every morning
they were taken out and put through
their PAGES. 1t was impossible, how
ever, to get one to jump over eighteen
feet. Mackay was in despair; but one
morning hopper shifted at a bottle of
ammonia on the table, and Immediately
jumped thirty feet. Next day Mackay
announced to Hoefich that he was
ready for the match. The expert came
an hour:before the time with his pet hop
per. Not finding Mackay in, he noticed
the bottle of ammonia. A light broke
upon him. Grabbing the bottle. he
rushed to drug store threw away the
ammonia, and ordered it filed with
chloroform. Mackay soon arrived
with half dozen mine superintendent
whom he had invited to see him have
some fun with Hoefich. They were
hardly seated when Hoefich came in
with the hopper in a cigar-box under
his arm.
II was leetle late, Mr.. Mackay, but
I'm here mid der hopper and der conn.,
He laid down the money which was
covered promptly. Mackay got behind
somebody and let his hopper sniff at
the ammonia bottle, which held Hoe
fich's chloroform. Time being called,
the hoppers were placed side by side on
the piazza, an at the word 'sgo,". each
was touched on the back with straw.
Hoeflich's entry scored twenty-four
feet. Mackay's gave a lazy lurch Of
some four inches, and folding its legs
fell fast asleep.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1881-11-06
Ages Of Presidents

President-electG Garfield was forty-nine
years old the 10Th of November. When
he takes his seat in the White House
next March he will be the third young
est President the Republic has ever had.
Grant was the youngest, having lacked
one month of forty-seven when inaug1t-
rated. Franklin Pierce was four days
Younger than Garfield. Two other
Presidents were in their fiftieth year
when inaugurated-James K. Polk and
Willard Fillmore-but the one was sew
enteen days and the other five months
older than Garfield. The next young
est was John Tyler, who was over
ifty-one when he succeeded to Har1i-
sons barely begun term of Office.
Abraham Lincoln was ffty-two years
old, and Martin Van Buren, and r. B.
Hayes not quite fifty-five. Andrew
Jackson lacked eight months of being
ifty-seven, and George Washington
had passed that age when inaugurated.
Oddly enough, the four consecutive
Presidents = Thomas Jefferson, James
Madison, James Monroe and John
Quincy Adams-were each in their fifty
eighth year when inaugurated. Zachary
Taylor and Tippacanoe- Harrison were
sixty-five and sixty-eight respectively
when they took the oath of Office, and
neither lived to fill out his term. In
point of age James Buchanan came
between the two, being in his sixty-snth
year when inaugurated. The average
age of Presidents at inauguration has
been fifty-seven years.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1881-11-06
The Old Mans Ghost,

Several days ago, says the Gazette, a
celebrated spiritualist came to Little
Rock, and stated that before giving a
public entertainment he would give a
seance, where any member of a small
invited circle could call up the spirits of
their friends and converse with them.
By mistake, man from down the river
was admitted, a man whose reputation
for deeds of violence would not place
his spirit above par in the soul market.
He was accompanied by ferocious
looking bulldog, and altogether had
the appearance of being a hard custo-
mer. He was of an inquiring turn of
mind, and after listening awhile to rap
ping, horn-blowing, and gauze veil ma
FERTILIZATION the bad man arose and
said:
'Say, Cap'n, whar's the cid mans
ghost?'
"What old man?'' asked the medium.
my old man, the governor. Call
him upp"
whats his name?'
tom Bealick; call him ups
II don't think that we are in COM
whats the matter, wire downp''
''No, the old gentleman is off on o
VISIT
"Now, here, just shut up your ward
robe and turn out your light. If you
don't give the old mans ghost a show,
the thing shan't rum
"Wait; I'll see if he'll come" said
the spiritualist. eff he raps three times
he is willing; if only once, he has other
engagements
A sharp rap sounded. HE is unwil-
ling continued the spiritualist.
ssNow, here,'' said the bad man,
s.that want my ole mans knock. Why,
eff he'd hit that table he'd splintered it.
Call him up and drawing a revolver
the affectionate son cast severe look
on the medium.
ITO tell you the truth, can't cali
him up
Tell him that 1 want to see him.
That'll fetch him."
mo, he won't COME; but I beg of
you to be patient. Wait; ali, he will
come presently. He is here and desires
to talk with you. He says that he is
perfectly happy, and that he longs for
the time when you will be with him.
He is one of the rulers in the, spirit
land
'sCap'n. you are tho infernalest liar
in Arkansas
''Why so, sir?''
Because the old mans in the city
prison, drunk as peddler's female
noodle,
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1881-11-06
Tining.

In order to ascertain with which color
a fabric or paper has been tinted
(blued), the following observation may
be of some use:-Paper, or any fabric
tinted with aniline glue, when exposed
to sunlight fades after a few hours. If
ultramarine, or cobalt blue, has been
used for tinting, blue ash will remain
behind after incineration. These ashes
are hscolored by diluted acids if ultra
marine was employed, while cobalt blue
will only become brighter by the same
treatment. Prussian is detected by the
presence of iron in the ashes of the
fabric or paper; the latter may be char
red in platinum capsule, the ash being
treated with some diluted muriatic acid,
drop of which is taken with a glass
rod and allowed to fall on the ash con-
tanned in a watch glass placed on
piece of white paper; by afterward add
ing drop of sulphocyanide of pottas-
SUM in solution, a red celebration will
detect the iron. Yellow prussiate will
give o greenish coloration.-Iertie
M0nut aclurer.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1881-11-06
Only on Paper.

When Cheyenne was at the zenith of
her glory, a sign of General Office of
the Cheyenne, Pacific Slope, and Sand
wich Island Railroad was hung out
one morning without creating much
surprise. If one person had asked
another where the depot of the said
railroad was, there might have been
some hesitation about answering; but it
was some time after the sign was out
before any special inquiries began to be
made. Then an eastern man walked
in one day, carpetbagin hand, and said.
II suppose you connect at San Francis
co with the regular steamers?" "Well,
yes; I suppose we SHALL" was the hest
tating reply. "Sha!l9 Isn't your road
through yetP' swell, not quite" 'Do
you take in Salt Lake?' salt Lake?"
Eyes l think we do?r How much for 9.
ticketp" "Well, can't say exactly. as
we have none on sale Just yet" "Car.
I get one at the depot?' ''Well I think
not. we haven't any depot yet" Can
pay on the TRAMP '.Well, you see,
we have no trains yet" 81 suppose /
can walk on the track" persisted the
stranger. "Well, l should have no
objections if we had track" ''No
depot, no tickets, no trains, no tracks;
what sort of railroad have you got,
anyhow "Well, you see. it's only on
paper thus far, but as soon az we can
sell So, 900, 900 worth of stock we shall
begin grading and rush business right
along. If you happen to be along
when we get to going, we will put you
through as low as any other responsi.
BILE route" The stranger stuck his
hands into his pockets, stared hard,
whistled softly, and then walked out on
tiptoe without another word.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1881-11-06
A Great Invention.

Aman living near Bloomfield, N. j.,
has contrived an arrangement, says the
New York Sun, by the use of which he
is enabled to get an hour or more of
extra sleep in the morning, and in 9th
er ways he finds it of great benefit. In
many ways it takes the place of do
nestle servant. The gentleman has
thought out and put into practical
working an idea that occurred to him
about a year ago. He is awakened in
the morning by shrill whistle. He at
once gets out of bed, for he knows what
that whistle means. 1t tells him that
all is ready for him to get breakfast.
He dresses and goes into the kitchen,
and there he finds bright, fresh fire,
a teakettle full of boiling water, and
other conveniences for preparing his
morning meal. All this is accomplished
by means of an alarm clock with
weights, piece of wire, sheet Of
sand-paper, and some matches. Paper,
wood and coal are put into the CRATE of
his cooking stove, and teakettle filled
with water, and having tiny whistle
fitted into the nozzle of the kettle, is
placed on the stove. By setting the
alarm in the clock he can have fire at
any time he wishes. When the alarm
in the clock goes off, weight falls and
hits the wire; the wire moves and
scrapes the matches fastened to it on
the sandpaper; the matches light the
paper in the stove, the paper lights the
wood and coal, and soon fire is under
wav. In little while the water in the
teakettle boils, and then the tiny whis-
tie gives the note of warning that every
thing is ready and it is time to get up.
s.Simple thing, and yet what COM
fort it ISL the inventor says. ''There
is no getting up for me now an hour be-
fore breakfast, losing that amount OF
sleep, and then waiting around for
breakfast. The arrangement costs next
to nothing, and it is as trustworthy as
anything in this world. have not had
it patented yet. Some persons advise
me to, and perhaps may. l haven't
any for sale; got it up entirely for my
own comfort and convenience, and it
has more than repaid me already. But
just think, if it were in general use it
would save many hard words and do
away with considerable domestic un-
happiness amongpoor people. Doubt
less it might have tendency to make
q better feeling between some men and
their wives, by settling the vexing
question as to who should get up in the
morning and build the fire. Out of this
question alone many divorce suits grow,
and this arrangement would prevent
them
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1881-11-06
babyw seemed to say tender voice.
What woman ever praised another?

babyw seemed to say tender voice.
What woman ever praised another?
"How a homely woman hates her
pretty rivalr' unused John Seymour.
"Miss Benefits eyes are dull and gray,
Mrs. Barton's bright and blue, so the
former thinks the latter such fearful
talker, untidy and bore. Oh, these
women! Oh, these womenr'
Whiz! little ball of something white
flew past and darted down the steps,
the pretty widow closely following and
screaming, 'Trixie! Trixier' at the top
of her voice.
John Seymour dropped his fresh Ha-
vana in the grass and started in pur-
suit.
"Allow me, madam" as he reached
her side, "to catch your dog for you."
But catching nimble Trixie was no
easy task. She took bee line for the
dark and deep blue ocean, Mr.. Sey-
mour close behind, the hot sun beating
down upon his hatless head. But final
ly the pretty Trixie was secured and
brought back to her anxious mistress,
who with outStretched arms received
her pet.
'My dearest, darling baby! Nam
mas darling babyr' smothering the
dog with kisses. "What should I do if
I had lost my baby? How can I thank
you, sir, enough? Oh; l was so fright
ened. Twas sure she would run in the
water and be drowned. Mammals dar-
ling baby!' with another kiss. 81 reck-
on you think this awful silly, don't you?
But you see haven't any children and
I must pet something. I've had Trixie
ever since she was six weeks old, and
she's never slept away from me one
night. My little brother Bobby left the
door open this afternoon and out she
slipped. Oh, was so frightened! I
didn't know what / was doing. How
can I ever thank you?" And with a
parting smile she turned and went in
doors.
Mr.. Seymour lighted fresh Havana.
Two gentlemen were smoking near
him. One, lean, tall, awkward man,
with keen gray eyes, and pointed nose,
removed his wig and asked him for a
light.
"Fair lookin' woman, amt she?" he
remarked. "Knew her in Virginia.
Awful talker. They say her tongues
been goin' so fast it's wore out two sets
O. teeth already"
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1881-11-06
The Very Latest From London.

While was chatting with the Duke
Of Shrewsbury (owner Of the Shrewsbury
oyster mines), says a correspondent Of
the San Francisco Post, the Queen
slipped up behind and put her hands
over my eyes.
"Guess who it ISL said the Duke.
felt the pressure of a big seal ring
the Queen wears against my cheek, SO
said at once:
Why, it's Vic.''
Everybody laughed, and the Queen
said:
elbow cute you Americans are. What
a lovely dress you have on; must real
ly import one of your New York dress
makers. Vic is terrible dowdy.] 1
wish you'd lend me the pattern of that
basque"
Couldn't think of it, Queen said;
upon which she began teasing me to
come down and spend couple Of weeks
at Windsor.
'.Do, now" she insisted, sand we'll
have just lots of fun. I'll have stove
put up in the spare room. Well get
Wales down from the city, and make
up picnic parties, and have good time
generally"
II think Wales has other fish to fry,'
said /, winking toward where he was
buzzing Mrs. Langtry on the stairs.
Il declare, there he is again with
that stuck-up thing" said Victoria,
getting very angry. ''Let's 60 and in
terrupt them. Tell him you want to
sell him some rattle chances"
''No, you DON'T says I, 'two's COM
pany-three's a crowd; ia ia, Queen"
and l slid off to get some ice cream with
the Earl of Wellington, Victoria getting
so mad that she slammed her crown in
. corner and went up stairs to bed in
fit of the sulks.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1881-11-06
Hannah Binding Shoes,

roor lone Hannah.
Sitting at the window, binding shoeS
Faded, wrinkled,
Sitting, stitching, in mournful muse
Bright-eyed beauty once was she,
When the bloom was on the tree;
Spring and winter,
Hnnnat's at the window, binding shoes.
Not neighbor,
Passing nod or answer viii refuse,
To her whisper,
CTS there from the fishers any news?"
Oh. her hearts Gdrift with one
On an endless voyage gonel
Night an0 morning,
Hannah's at the window, binding shoes,
Fair young Hannah,
Ben. the sunburnt fisher, gaily woos;
Hail and clever,
For willing hesrt and hand he sues,
May-day skies are all aglow,
And the waves are laughing so!
For her wedding
Hannah leaves her window and her shoes.
May is passing;
Mid the apple boughs pigeon coos,
Hannah shudders,
For the mild Southwestern mischief brews,
Round the rocks Of Marblehead,
Outward bound, q schooner sped;
Silent, lonesome,
Hannah's al the window, binding shoes.
IT'S NOveIh Der,
Now no tear her wasted cheeks bedews.
From Newfoundland
Not sail returning viii she lose.
Whispering hoarsely, Fishermen,
Have you, have you heard of Benz
Old with watching,
Hannah's at the window, binding shoes.
Twenty winters
Bleech and tear the ragged shore she views
Twenty seaSonsi
Never one has brought her any news.
Still her dim eyes silently
Chase the white sails DER the sea;
Hopeless, faithful,
Hannah's at the window, binding shoes.
lucy LARCoM.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1881-11-06
Her Diamond Earrings.

They cost $3.50.
They live in cheap fiat very near q
broad, but dirty avenue.
Bread and tea for breakfast, ditto fol
lunch and cheap restaurant din
ner.
Not whole comb or decent hairbrusb
in the house.
But pair of $3.50 diamond earrings.
These are fruits of economy and she
wears them to market.
He wears $3.50 gold watch which
matches the diamonds.
But they need a new clothes line. The
old one broke yesterday and the glass has
not been repaired in the kitchen window.
Graphic
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1881-11-06

Eat onions. We once knew poor
unfortunate who was the prey of every
one. Poor people borrowed money of
him, rich people run over him, book
agents chung to him, insurance agents
followed him from morning to night.
He commenced eating onions. Now no
one goes near him.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1881-11-06

'Why should red COW give white
milk"' was the subject for discussion
in suburban agricultural club. Alter
an hours debate, the secretary OF the
meeting was instructed to milk the
cow, and bring in a decision according
to the merits Of the milk. twas blue.
The silver state. [volume] (Unionville, Nev.) 1870-1903, 1881-11-30
LOCAL INTELLIGEN CE.
Fugitives from Yakima.

The Indians here are informed by a
runner that Frank Winnemucca and
three other Piutes, among them "Choo, !"
who killed the Bannock Chief Buffalo
Horn, arrived ct Fort McDermit Sun
day with their wives and children from
Yakima These Indians were friendly
to the whites at the time Of the out
break at Malheur Reservation, three
years ago, but by some mistake they
were sent to Yakima with the surren-
dered hostiles as prisoners of war. They
left Yakima last Winter, and have been
for months making their way back
through Oregon to their old hunting
grounds. Some fifty or sixty more of
them escaped from Yakima, according
to the information received by the In
dinns here, and are at Warm Springs
Agency, Northern Oregon.
The silver state. [volume] (Unionville, Nev.) 1870-1903, 1881-11-30
The Arizona Nine.

Yesterday the Sheriff decided to New
ton Booth, of Sacramento, the Arizona
silver mine, at Unionville, he having
patti all liens filed against the same. The
property is valuable, as the new owner
owns claims adjoining it on the same
lead which can be worked through the
Arizona tunnels. The mine produced
millions Of dollars, and it will undoubt-
eddy yield as much more, as there is
plenty of ground on the ledge that has
never been opened.
The silver state. [volume] (Unionville, Nev.) 1870-1903, 1881-11-30
Meteorological Record.

The following is the daily bulletin of
the meteorological record of the Signal
Service, connected with the q. S. War
nt-observations taken at the
same moment of time at all stations:
NOVEMBER 80, lSSl--4:l7 A. NJ
Pioche-Thermom 23'. Wind
direction, N. W.; velocity, 6 miles per
hour. Weather, clear.
Salt Lake - Thermometer, lSS.
Wind, calm. Weather, clear.
San Francisco Thermometer, 5l'.
Wind-direction, N. W.; velocity,
light. Weather, fair.
Winnemucca - Thermometer, Isl.
Wind direction, n. E.; velocity, 10
mihs per hour Weather, clear.
The silver state. [volume] (Unionville, Nev.) 1870-1903, 1881-11-30
IN MEMORIAM.
Resolutions Of Respect.

WHEREAS, 1t has pleased Almighty
God, in His operations of infinite wis
dom, and through a providence to us
dark and mysterious, to permit the re-
moval, by death, from ourmidst, of our
young brother, A. E. Rhodes, there
fore,
Resolved, That in this sad and pain
full affection we recognize the loss of a
brother greatly beloved, who, in his
early manhood, was just entering on a
life of usefulness and moral power, the
influence of which was already widely
felt among his friends and associates.
His life was even, consistent, and an
example worthy of imitation. In his
social and domestic relations he was a
warm friend, dutiful son, and an af-
fectionate brother. He was ever true
to his pledge, faithful to his vows, and
Templar whose character was above
reproach. In his death this Lodge
loses a worthy member, faithful and
efficient officer, and a genial, gentle
manly young man.
Resolved, That the Lodge observe the
usual custom of draping and wearing
the badge of mourning.
Resolced, That to the stricken, heart
broken mother and friends we extend
our profound, heartfelt sympathy, and
shall pray that the All-father, in love
and pity, may put around about and
underneath them the everlasting arms,
and with the consultations of His grace
sustain and comfort them in this, their
great sorrow.
Resotced, That these resolutions be
spread upon the Journal of the Lodge,
and that copy hereof be sent to the
SILVER STATE for publication, and also
to the mother of the deceased.
( + +: ! f ! S Ss;s1aD. Committee.
Hall Nevada Lodge No. 25, l. O. G. I
Winnemucca, Nov. 2Sth, 1881.