The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1881-03-04
JOB wOl
CURRENT rUN.

on the face it.
When Tommy pats a piece Of
Johnny cake in bis pocket for lunch
he calls it an Indian reservation.
A man named Tssseil drowned
himself in Pittsburg the other day.
Toe much corn in the TasselI was
what allied him.
,"Bridget, L cannot allow yoa to re-
oeive your lover in the kitchen any
longer. ''Its kind of you, ,ma'am. but
hes almost too bashfnl to come into
the parlor."
Children should be eontinE
warned against sssOciating with bad
company. This would save them
when older from going to the Penn
sylvania Legislature.
The room getting chilly daring a
long piece of chamber music, a gem
tlemsn asked his neighbor. in a vhis-
per, how he should stir the fire with
out interrupting the performance.
Between the bars was the reply.
A Galveston widow rs about to
msrry her fifth husband. Her pas.
tor rebuked her for contemplating
matrimony so soon again. "Well, |
Just want you to understand, if the
Lord keeps on taking them / will
too" was the spirited reply.
A young lady was caressing a pret-
ty spaniel and murmuring: II do
love a nice dog" "Ah~ sighed a
dandy, standing near, 81 would l
were a dog" Never mind" retOrt>
ed the young lady sharply, you'll
grew"
els your wife asdemocrat or repus-
iicsn?" asked one Rockland citizen of
another in a store this morning. "She
is neither" was the.prompt response.
and then glancing cautiously around
and sinking his voice to coarse whis-
per, he explained, "she's a home ru-
ler."
Mr.. Longfellow is too old and good
aaman:to be,misrepresented. Some Of O.
the papers say that he once went into
, kitchen and helped lady to peel 4
The lady now comes for
wald.asdt denies the story. Longfel>
low did not peel pumpkin. 1t was
1 squash.
A sea'captain was brought before 4
Justice in Marseilles- and msESiIezslp--
attacked by his opponents lawyer.
When at length he was suffered to
speak, he said: Your honor, ask
delay ofone week in the proceed
ngs, so that I may find big enough
isr to answer that man." His re-
quest was granted.
Colonel Ingersoll says an "econom-
cal rich man is curse aud a pest
md ''thst country is sblesse4S1 1Nhefe~-
he rich are extravagant and the5poor
Don't know about that.
You see Colonel, dear, what part;cu.
ar good does it DO the poor man
when Mr.. Gould buys a whole tele-
yrsph company or another railroad:
Little Oracle had been told that it
vas impolite to take the last biscuit
IN the table. The other morning at
breakfast che was observed to gaze
ong and vistfally at the solitary bis-
,uit on the bread plate. The tempta-
ion at last proved too great for her..
Reaching for the coveted morsel, she
20, mamma, l almost
tArved! 1 dess won't be polite to-
lay. I'll wait till some day whom l
Unit so hungry"
The Fakir of silva gave a sleight of
hand performance in Galveston. One
IF his features was to make a marked
iollar disappear 10 the sight of the
,rovd, which-ke3 successfully did.
That ..msrkedsdollsr will be fourd
a the poke! Of that colOrsd gentle
nsa, said the sFakir, pointing with
lis magic wand at Sam Johnsing.
All eyes we're nveted On Sam, who
advanced to the front, took soma
money from his:vestipccket ann said;
'Bosr, heah is your change; / has
iad two beers outen dat dollar
you told me to keep till you called
nah IL