The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1881-06-17
DULL ENGLrSHMEE.
Torpldity OF the British Mind.-can't See Joke.
--Artemus Ward.
WnShinnton Capital.

Tcrpldty OF the British Mind.-cant See Joke.
-Artemus Ward.
Washington Capital.
An American joke Is rs far beyond the
intelligence of the average John Bull as II
would be TO Hottentot. ]. T. Raymond
told me the other day, says Col. Forney In
some of his "reminiscences, that while playing
"Colonel Sellers In London, he received o
dozen or more letters asking the meaning Of
appropriation In the phrase ~ 90 In for
the American flag and an appropriation"
After while they found out appropriation"
meant the same as parliamentary grant,"
and then they saw the point Of IL. II would
not be easy 10 discover an American audience
quite so stupid M this. Ii Is stupidity. Once
In London lost half mn hour In the endeayor
TO buy bottle of "muciage;" "gum" Is
what they call IL. Ask for "gum" In an
American store and yon get "mucilage;" ask
for mucllage In London shop and you get
nothing. Talk there of "store" for "shop,"
"suspendersn for "braces," "depot" for
"station," and nobody knows what you
mean. Here either word would serve. When
Artemus Ward Charles Browne) first lee
tured In London his jokes fell fat, and, see
ing how IL was, he concluded his discourse to
this effect, that the audience on going out
would be handed tickets to Constantinople
and return. ain that city," went on Arte-
mus, al propose to repeat my lecture this
day two weeks. To each ticket Is attached
coupon that will admit the bearer to the hall.
desire your attendance that / may shed
light upon such Of my remarks this evening
as have evidently given you pain, which /
thank you for having borne in silence.
"What does the man mean?" said John
Bull, Ego to Constantinople to hear him
drawl through this mass of stuff again! we
don't do IT,"
When they reached the door and no one
was there with the tickets, 1t slowly dawned
upon them that Ward was laughing at them.
Ward remained In London, and 1t became
80 dull that he wrote for Punch, and was
crowned as popular idol. The English fun
of this age must be loud and uproarious, just
az In the old comedies IL is indecent. You
see 1t I'm the stuffed clubs of their pantomime
and machine plays upon words In their bur-
lesque. They have no ear TO: delicate wit.
Even their Pinafore was lost upon them
until the Americans took 1t up and roared
over its satire, though w. s. Gilbert, Its au-
thor, had long accustomed them to his one
vein of humor. Pinafore was all but fail
ure at the Theatre Comique, on the Strand,
until the news came of Its phenomenal runs
NIL over this country; then the people flocked
TO hear IL.
i doubt IL there Is man in his profession
who makes such a study of his art as John
Mccullough. II Is his love. lie reads every
thing connected with the theatre, and SO
stores his knowledge that it Is ready for SER
vice at any moment. Personally there Is no
one so genial. He has the faculty Of making
friends and keeping them beyond any per-
son ever met. As an actor he Is wholly
without jealousy. Sure Of himself he has
for bis support the very best material he can
obtain. The people in his company have
the strongest affection for him. He makes
money almost as rapidly as the owner OF a
Colorado silver mine, and spends IL like a
prince In a novel. He listens to every tale
of suffering, and then down goes his hand to
his pocket.
A capital insight into the character Of the
man Is given by his friend John T. Raymond,
who related the story to me an evening or
two since. "When was In London" said
Raymond, athey asked me to one Of their
swell clubs. went, of course, but don't
think was ever before so miserable. We
sat about stiffly, on uncomfortable chairs, for
almost an hour, talking Of the driest imagin- |
able subjects. felt couldn't stand 1t any |
longer, so turned to gentleman next to |
me and said: 'Ain't they going TO do any |
thing?' Il don't understand you,' he an
swered. Il mean,' / said, 'dont you think |
something liquid would be appropriate to the |
occasion ooh, no, sirl Not here.' And he |
appeared quite shocked ut the idea. WELL
said /, Il don't care rap about taking q |
drink, but II you'd been In an American club |
rs long us have been here rs the guest of
the members you would be drunk or very |
near drunk. That's ALL And / left. A
couple of nights afterward John Mccullough |
went TO that same club, and, sir, he astonish-
cd those Englishmen. He got them all off |
into regular American frolic. How he |
managed 1t Heaven only knows, but he
smashed through the Ice, and everybody had |
the jolliest kind of time"