The Osceola times., 1881-03-12
WAYS or THE WORLD.

WAYS OF THE WORLD.
TrxEssERvrSc.-The newsman.
The smallest man in the world.-A foot
man.
A VERMONT railroad company has paid
\ passenger who lost an ear in an accl-
dent 81 800.
A WRITER may be said TO be more free
than king, inasmuch as he can choose
his own subjects.
THE Philadelphia Chronicle thinks that
New Yorks obelisk will be good to
scratch matches on.
The Cincinnati Enquirer delicately says
of Mrs. Mary Livermore that "she is not
decidedly handsome"
The Rev. John A. Powell went insane
at Tndley, Ohio, because book which
he had written met with no sale.
ToTrrE-"I wonder why dolls are near
lv alvays girls, Tom?" Tom-"Why,
because boys hate being made babies
Off
, "My boy, what does your mother do
for a liying?" was asked of q little bare
footed urchin. She eats cold vituals,
SIR"
"You never have cross ID BEAR" said
a husband TO his wife NO, except
when you are as cross as a bear" she re-
torted.
ACCORDING to the Burlington uowa)
Hawkeye, the most stylish purse this sea
son is made Of undressed sealskin, with
nothing in it,
THE widow of General "Pap" Thomas
is living in Troy in comfortable circum-
stances. She receives no pension from
the Government.
In Louisiana the census exhibits 473
Chinese, Sl9 Indians and half-breeds,
eight half Chinese, one West Indian and
one East Indian.
A RHINE salmon Of 81 lb., was recently
sold in London. The retail price was 5s.
per pound-realizing the value OF five
middling-sized sheep.
A CANDIDATE for the situation of coach
man advertises in Cork paper that he
has good testimonials, and is both cour-
ageous and good shot,"
LIGHTNING has destroyed one of the
cables between Victoria, British Colum-
bia, and the main land, and communica-
ton is now carried on by steamers.
IT is stated that Christine Nilsson has
$4,000 in United States SIS of 1881 and
$4,000 in 6's of 1881; Lotta, the actress
has $4,000 in 5's, and Emma Thursby
has $4,000 in 6's.
BRrGsoN (at last winging pheasant
after missing right and left all day)
"Ah. hs! Knocked him over that time
Jenkins" Keeper: "Yes, sir, they will
f1v into IL sometimes"
A BAsHruL young clergyman, recently
rising to preach for the first time, an
nounced his text in this wise: And inn
mediately the cock wept and Peter went
out and crew bitterly.
LONDON has upwards of $1,000 yards,
or more than q miles of leaden pipes
buried beneath its streets through which
open telegrams are being blown or suck
ed at all hours of the day.
sPRoBABLY the longest pastoratc in New
Hampshire was that Of the Rev. Laban
Ainsworth of Jafffey--seventy-tive years
and six months. He died March II,
1858, at the age of 100 years.
JAMES: "Have you read the letters to
the heditor to-day, Tummas?" Thomas
No, Jeems, never read the productions
of anonymous writer's that are fond of
seein' their names in print"
Young LADY: "Good-morning, Mrs.
Perkins. How does your husband get
on with his reading? Does he still! do
his Bible chapter every day." Mrs p:
"Bible, miss! Lor', bless you, he's long
beyond that he's got to the noose-
paper"
The editor of comic paper in Japan
10 Ina,
prisonment and fine of 500 yen for pub
fishing a certain article. III was one
of those depressing mule or goat jokes,
he should have got ten years and fine
Of 10000 yen.
The Amazon has always been regarded
as the longest river on the globe. One
authority places its length at 1000 and
another at $500 miles. Johnson's En-
cyclopedia gives the length of the long
est branch of the Nile at 1000 miles.
The Mississippi is $500 miles in length
and the Missouri 1852.
A DINNER entirely of Australian pro.
ducts was given at the lord mayors,
London, the other day. The soup hand.
ed round first met with but little appro-
baton; it had no particular flavor of any.
thing. Then came the fish, cod from
Murray bay, which to the eye looked as
fresh as if just taken from the water
But prejudice was working hard, and in
most cases obtained the victory, for little
was eaten. The oysters used for sauce
and declared to have been brought from
Australia in the shell, were scarcely
touched. Appetite did not really walker
until the lamb outlets and green peas ap
peared. These were pronounced ire
sistable, and the unanimous verdict o
delicious" ran round the table.