Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1881-08-22
E1amples Of southwe.sern veraeity.

OF Arkansas, after listening 10 some dog
stories, said: "These are curious yarns,
gentlemen, but believe them all. had
dog once, back in Nebraska, that
keptt to heard lumber" "Beg pardon,
Judge, but did You say the dog bearded
lumberP "Ees, sir, cottonwood boards.
We always kept q dog there to bring the
lumber in at night" Everybody now
paid the closest attention, as they knew
that the boss was at work. TT was
TINS way: Cottonwood boards warp
IKE thunder in the sun. 4 board would
begin to hump its back up about in
the morning, and in half an hour it
would turn over. By IL it would warp
the other way with the heat, and make
another flop. Each time it turned it
moved couple of feet, always following
the sun toward the west. The first sum-
mer l lived in BrownYille, over 10000
ieet OF lumber skipped out TO the bills
the day before | had advertised house
ralsln'. went to the county seat to at
tend lawsuit, and when | got back
there wasn't stick OF timber left. 1t
had strayed away into the uplands. An
ordinary board would climb two mile
hill during hot week, and when il
struck the timber il would keep worm
in IN and oIt among the trees Ike a
garter snake. Every farmer in the
State had to keep shepherd dogt to fol.
low bis lumber around the country,
keepit together, and show where it was
in the morning. We didn't need any
fumes there for lumber. We sawed it
east OF the place where we wanted to
use it, and let it warp itself to its des-
tination; with men and dogs to head it
off at the right time, we never lost a
stick
Hanks grocery, says New Orleans
paper, is situated on the edge OF prairie
IN Southern Texas, and on Sunday quite
q crowd used to meet there. One Sun
day Lem Williams himself was seated
in front OF the store, when Bill Barker
remarked:
"How's crops up your way, Lem"
"Well," he replied, "corn's sorter gin
to tasseliug, but the sand is powerful
poor"
That seems to be the general COM
plant" remarked Bill.
"Ees, this here country amt good
for raisin' corn" said Lem, as he took d
fresh chew, "but il you want to see corn
what is corn, you just orter go to Fort
Bend. When / was farming on the
Brazos, in that country, my corn grew
so tall and thick that | had to hang
lamps on the mules ears to see how to
plow furrow. 1t was corn; and no
mistake; and in the fall the stalks were
so high that had to knock the ears
down with sassairas pole. Darn my
skin, the ears were so big that it tux a
strong man to carry MORN three OF 'em
at time"
"Speakin' about strong men, remark
ed Bill Barker, ''sor;er causes me to re- !
member an old steamboat captain who
used to run on the Yazoo river in rs. |
One day he stopped at n landing for
slow about bringin' it aboard. Old Jud- |
kins, the captain, reused up and cussed |
everythin' in reach. Says he, walkin'
up TO the woodpile whar the niggers
were at work: pile on your timber |
and let me show yer how 20 carry wood,
an he stretched out his arms. Well, |
sir, the niggers piled on the wood and |
kept pilin' until Judkins had cord and |
q half of ire wood on his shoulders, and
he turned and carried it on the boat
lust as easy as if it was boiay. He
was what I'd call a purity tOlerable stout
man"
THAT reminds me of man l used TO
know in Budford county, ALBANY"
said stranger named Upper, who had
been in the neighborhood but a short
time. All eyes were turned toward the
speaker, and they began TO size him up. |
~ guess old Pete Jennings" continued
the stranger, was about the heftiest
man in these United States, ii | amt
mistaken. You see, one day he was
hauling some fence posts in an OK
wagon, when the wheels began to creek
like il they needed greasin'. He looked
under the wagon for his tar bucket and
fonud it warn't thar, and what do you
suppose he did?"
81 don't know" growlei Bill Barker
and Lem Williams in choru'.
"Well, I'll just tell you what he did.
He propped up the axletree, TUX the
wheel of, an steppin' out in the woods
he pickt up a pine knot, held it over
the axle and squeezed the tar outen it.
Did Pete Jennings had grip what beat
4 wise, you bet" |