The Sentinel. [volume] (Trenton, N.J.) 1880-1882, 1881-05-07
FUN AT WEDDINGS.
The Humorous Side of Matrimony as OBJ
served by Clergymen.

Marriage is said to appall the stout
est heart, and is generally encountered
with fear and trepidation. It and death
constitute the dread unknowns. This
element of uncertainty, joined with the
solemnity of the occasion, seems to
conspire to evoke ludicrous incidents at
weddings, and there is not minister in
the land who has not score or more OF
them in his remembrance. As illus
trating the nervousness incident to such
occasions, all of them have had similar
experiences to the one narrated below.
a few years since young gentleman
from the interior of the State came to
the city for the purpose of meeting here
and marrying young lady who, being
left an orphan year previous, had
found home with an aunt, who was de-
cidedly opposed to the match. The
plan was for the gentleman to come to
Detroit on an early train, make the
necessary arrangements and meet her at
the depot at o'clock in the evening.
Accompanied by a friend, parson was
found who consented to the ceremony
being performed in his own parlors,
and, all preparations completed, the
gentleman repaired to hotel for quiet
smoke before the train should arrive.
While so engaged the intended bride
groom bethought him of the financial
phase of the transaction and inquired
Of. his friend what was the customary
fee, and how and when it was to bepaid,
apologetically adding, with little
nervous laugh, "You see, my boy, I
never was married before"
The desired information vas given,
the soon-to-be Benedict withdrew to
q side table, procured paper and an
envelope, and indited a note to the
clergyman thanking him for his kind
ness, and asking his acceptance of the
inclosed, at the same time wishing he
was able to give more. The reverend
gentleman declares that he wished the
same, for the envelope did not contain
penny.
Almost equally common is the expert
ence of marrying those who resort to
all manner of schemes to evade pay
ment. A well-known clergyman mar
rates an instant in point. He was then
preaching at Dexter, when an appar-
emily verdant couple came over to his
study from the hotel. They had come
to town on purpose to be united by this
clergyman, they said, and were going on
"tower." The ceremony over, the
groom thrust his hands deep into one
pocket after another, and then with we'll
simulated annoyance, calculated: e.
declare, Jane, I have left my money in
the trunk over at the hotell'' He would
go right over and get it, and be back in
minute. The clergyman, however,
suggested that inasmuch as he was com
ing back so soon the bride could wait
there until his return. This arrange
ment seemed to be satisfactory and the
groom started for the hotel. He soon
returned and said: "Jane, can't I'M
lock that pesky trunk Of your'n. You
will have TO come over and do it. "
Evidently the trunk resisted their COM
bined efforts, for the clergyman never
saw them afterward
In one instance the clergyman upon
going to residence to perform the
marriage ceremony found the contract
ing parties and their guests all seated in
the parlors Enthusiastically awaiting his
arrival. In q low tone he requested
them to rise, but the groom was nervous,
| the bride distracted, and neither heard
the request. He repeated it in some
what louder tone of voice, but the re-
suit was the same. Then one of the
spectators reached forward and, giving
the groom a poke in the back, whispered
loud enough to be heard all over the
room, "Git up, Gil, git upl"
One day as an old white-haired minister
was writing in his study, domestic
came in with the announcement that /
couple were outside who wished to BIZ
married. He told her to admit them
and in they came, three pairs of them
and all arm in arm. 1t was impossible
to decide which was the pair, but select
ing the most confusedlooking couple
he commenced the ceremony. All Wen
merrily until it came to the charge, 81
there be any one among you who knows
Of any reason why this couple should
not be joined in wedlock, let him nov
speak, or forever after hold his peace.
Here the usual brief pause was made
but was quickly terminated by thu
groom calculating, in suppressed voice
eco on, parson, go on There amt n'
reason r
One of Detroit's oldest clergymel
narrates an incident that occurred sool
after he located here, when he knew
but little of the people and nothing
whatever of the localities. He Wal
waited upon by a not very progresses
ing looking man, who wished him t.
come down to Franklin street to 'marr,,
me and Lie" To the minister, Frank
lin street sounded as aristocratlc a
would Washington street, but he admit
that he was trife taken aback whel
he followed his guide into the hous
and found he was in saloon. How
ever, saloon keepers must be married
well as other people was his Thought
and he followed on through the room
up flight of stairs and into sitting
room. Then the guide, who proved
be groom as we'll, stepped into til
hall and shouted, "Come on, Lie
Come on, girls; the parsons come
and into the room trooped crowd ths
showed him that he had got among th
slums. The opportunity was too goo
~ ba lost and under the guise of ths