Orange County observer. [volume] (Hillsborough, N.C.) 1880-1918, 1881-01-29
Funny Gatherings.

/ waited a~nxiously with dread un-
feigned-I held my breath my utter
ances were choked - My muscles
twitched, my every nerve was strained
Wit humid tears my handkerchief
was soaked-Till in a moment agony
was ceased-I quickly turned my head
aside-and sneezed.
If YOU, o SUE, SAY 80.
Say, Sue, see how ! sue and sigh,
And on the lea lay low
For upon this day do die
nyou, o Sue, say SO"
No telI-tale sign does she shy show
While he his mad+pleas plies
The teardrops that do downward now
Ooze as ease from his eyes.
"Ah, woe upon the way We war
DO you not, Sue, 80 say?
He fingered on his knee nigh. nor
For answer knew no nay.
Wood is so expensive nowadays in
Connecticut that real nutmegs are
acheaper than the Connecticut article.
boston .3Ost.
In the London geological garden is
an otter that can wrlte.1e 1t probably
spends its time writing otter-graphs.-
Detroit Free Press.
Teacher in high school, at: Are
pro and o synonymous or opposite
terms" Scholar "Opposite.' Teach
er: Give an example, Scholar
Progress and Congress-
Minister to Rory" Why weren't
you at the kirk on sunday" Rory -
was at Mr.. Dunlop's kirk" Minister
e" don't like your running about
the strange kinks in that way. Not
that ! object tae yer hearing Mr.. Dun
lop; but Pm shur ye wadna like yer
ain sheep straying away into strange
grain, sir, if it were better grass y
Judy.
-"How can best Increase my stock ?"
said Farmer John to Thomas:
by making six Of one quoth Tom,
No miracle ] promise;
A simp1es process ne'er was known
What is II =" :. Well now, s'pOsin'
You put that yearling COW to sleep,
Twill mrkca heifer-dozin'.
"My 'sperience in dis like has taught
me dat de man who swaps mules wiz
his eyes shut am sartin to git de wusl
oh it. Brudderly feelin' goes a gooC
ways i'm case of sickness, or want, Oh
death but it seldom reaches down Il
a boss trade. If | war buyin' "a mule
of a man | had known all my life
should begin ut de huofs and look "a
dat animile Ol,er clar up to dc point o
his nose. shouldn't -pect him 10 tel
me dat he had filed down any teof o
puttied obcr amy hoof cracks. Ny
advice am not to lie or deceive il
trading mules, but to answer az few
qucshuns as you kin an seem sort q
keerless whether Jour offer am 'ceptes
or not"
BEAN SOUP. a plainly dressed
expression OF countenancc entered
Chestnut street restaurant yesterda,
and called for dinner. One of tn
walters hustled about for u moment
look the iTd1ge y ol'ltI anu pltStIti,
placed before him n bowl ~ bean eoul
After carefully inspecting for II me
ment the guest looked up with an rs
tonished air and said Whats this.
why, it's bean soup replied tn
waiter. apparently very much often,
ed. Yes, that may be- replied tn
guest, seriously; "but what is it now?
The waiter looked puzzled for a mt
ment, and then snapped out Why
tell yer it's bean soup "Iou sal
that before, you know" replied tn
guest, quietly; III admit that it ma
nave been soup, but what is it now
you're cute, amt YOU said tn
waiter, looking rs though he wante
to break the neck of the guest. Wei
it's bean soup right now u al
glad of that, but how long has it bee
soup?' asked the guest, IA the waite
started for the kitchen mutterin
about the people who are too smart
live.