The Canton advocate. [volume] (Canton, D.T. [S.D.]) 1877-1897, 1881-09-29
The First Engagement.

1t is pleasant to turn to one of the
brightest chapters of the amenities OF
home after leaving the tyrants in
gloomy solitude, and consider that
pleasant episode of home life, "the
first engagement"
When it is an arrangement that sat
is les prudent papa and mamma, this
is the most delightful moment of ma
ture life. 1t makes one young again
to see the happiness of two young
lovers. "All men love a lover" The
introduction of a new son or daughter
that deep feeling Of rest that our son
or daughter is to have the anchorage
Of marriage-these are delicious re-
Elections. We forget our trials, our
cankering cares; we forget that they,
too, must fight the same hard battle of
life which we have got nearly through.
and we see only the blissful side of the
picture. If, however, we do not en-
tirely approve, it is a great duty, and
one which we owe our children, to hide
from them any fancied antipathy to
the chosen one whom we may not
wholly love. Given good principles
and good education, good health and q
moderate certainty of future living,
and no parent has right, if his child
is sincerely attached, to find fault with
his or her choice.
Of course, no mother ever saw any
wife quite good enough for her son; no
father imagines that the man can be
born who is worthy of his daughter.
Sometimes, without meaning it, this
feeling will show itself; but it had much
better be kept out of sight, if possible.
Either a family should take girl
wholly to their hearts, and treat her as
their own daughter, or they should de-
cidedly disapprove from the first. No
mutllated courtesy, no half-handed
generosity, no carping criticism is Just
or honorable. That their son loves
her, wishes to make her his wife, should
be very unanswerable argument for
her hearty adoption into the family.
And with regard to daughters hus-
band the same, and even greater, re-
spect should be shown. The old re-
proach against mothers-in-law now
rather relegates itself to old comedy; it
is not believed that they are always so
detestable as the "Campaigner" in
"Pendennis."
Yet a mother-in-law should let her
scns-in-law severely alone, nor dare,
because she has very near relation
ship to him, to interfere in the house
hold authority, or to say disagreeable
things about the education of the chill
dreD.
The young girl who enters large
family as the betrothed of one of the
brothers has very difficult role to fill.
Unless she is frank and sincere, unless
she is very engaging, she is apt to be
disllked by some of them. Perhaps
the brother has been great favorite,
and some loving sister is jealous c. her.
Some brother, even, may feel offended
at having the affections of his most
intimate friend stolen away from him;
or the charms which have won the
lover may not be apparent to the rest
Of the family.
Now is the time for good breeding.
Now is the moment for the amenities.
Let the young people remember to
treat that young lady with peculiar
courtesy, for she will never forget their
conduct at this period. She is to be
their sister for all time. If they treat
her with respect and cordially, ten to
one she will be a good sister. But if
they treat her with hatred, suspicion.
and dislike she will be their enemy all
her days-and very little blame to her
if she is. 1t is the cruelty ofthe red
Indian to treat q newcomer, introduc-
ed under such tender circumstances,
with anything but kindness.