The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1881-07-19
FLEA BITES.

81 d&
1T is said Eli Perkins is going to de-
sert the lecture field SO As to devote his tai
ents to the production OF circus bills.
Eek.
Good Lord, deliver us! Ii Eli is going
to try his hand at that, not boy over four
wears old in the country can Ike brought to
believe in circus attractions.
The pilgrim fathers declare kissing on
Sunday to be wicked.-Ex.
Here in Sedalia we are so moral We
never kiss-ihat is our own wives, but if
tits somebody else's, and she is young and
prettv-git e-out, pilgrim fathers.
"A black bear in Idaho undertook to
hug young lady, and she punched out his
eyes with her parasol.-Ex.
Ii the young ladies in Sedalia were to
serve their "huggers" in that same way
there wouldn't be whole eve nor perfect
parasol point in the city.
What is fame asks the Philadelphia
American.
Fame is abuse from everybody while liv-
ing and tombstone covered with virtues
you never possessed when YOU are dead.
-sHad / done what NV mad heart prompted
Gone down on my Fnees to You,
And told my passionate story
There in the dusk and dew"
Nv wife might have slyly listened,
And then, like the crack of doom.
Hit ME a whack of vengeance
Over the head with broom.
Last night Roundsman Hynes with
squad of police raided a house of i'll fame
kept by Jennie Armstrong, and captured
the proprietress, three girls and a man.
Eek
What was the man doing?
The Office of the probate court is over
run by swarms of flies, and Judge Bailey
is exceedingly wrOth over the occurrence.
He would like 10 know by whose authority
lot of empty moiasses casks were stored
In the room beneath his ofice.-Ex.
Somebody probably wanted to give him
liquid tafy.
The feminine warriors, Katie Farrell
and Dora Hayes, attempted to establish
question of supremacy by fight on the
street last night. The appearance of a
policeman prevented an extended exchange
Of civilties, and the belligerent girls were
taken where they had plenty of time to
perspire and repent.-Ex.
They were members of the Woman's
Rights society, and had as perfect right to
indulge in free fight as man. The po-
lice should not have closed the exhibition
of striped stockings and female pedals.
Somebody said it was hot-Ex.
Well, who in thunder said it wasn't.
No one is going to fight about it.
Did you ever see battery take posi-
ton? asks an exchange.
No, we don't know that We have. But
We have seen company of light infantry
of small boys charge q watermelon patch
and retreat-in good order after gaining a
complete victory.
Lolita wants to marry an editor. We
are not in the market now, and besides We
don't care to have the top of our head
kicked of when she got little mad. No,
thank you, not any for us. We don't like
high kickes.
The announcement appears in win
dow on Washington street: "Wanted,
girls to crochet" We should think that
most girls who submitted to the process in
dictated would be worsted.-Boston
Journal.
We have heard of man darnin' his
girl for having CROCHET in her head.
II his love lies dreaming, what show
is there for getting any truth out of her
when she Is awake!-Ex.
Tickle her under the chin?
-~Xs, Stranger! House jacks are to
raise houses, screw jacks are to raise heavy
weights, but apple jack don't raise apples.
Elk.
No! But it raises Hades in Texas,
sometimes.
Now mark the difference: Even Kate