The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1881-10-21
A Matinee In the Breezy Family


II hope you have moment to spare
this morning." said Mrs Breezy, as
her husband put on his hat to 60 to the
Office.
eyes, dear. just q moment" said Mr..
Breezy, cheerfully. "You see, have
an appointment at nine, and
"Well, the appointment can wait, :"
said Mrs. Breezy, 81 have something
very particular to say to you.'
81 hope you will cut it short. then, !"
SAID Mr.. Breezy, seating himself re-
signedly in chair near the breakfast
table.
''There, you are using slang again,
Mr.. Breezy. I am sure l don't know
what's to become of the poor children
if they have such q horrible example
set them by their own father. Mr..
Breezy, when married you thought
you had been brought up as a gentle
man. People of good breeding avoid
slang as they would downright swear
ing, Mr.. Breezy. There is no excuse
for it. My father always reprimanded
my brothers most severely whenever he
caught them using slang. He said there
was q whole dictionary for us to choose
from without distorting the English
language. My father"
Come, DEAR" said Mr.. Breezy, '.sup-.
pose you let up on your old man."
"Mr. Breezy, do you know you have
insulted your wife's parent?" asked
Mrs. Breezy, with indignation. "What
do you mean by calling my dear father an
old man? I'm sure he's as young as
yours, Mr.. Breezy, and not half so bald
and gray"
.'0f course, DEAR" said Mr.. Breezy,
''they are both jolly old ROSTERS
and"
"Jolly old what, Mr.. Breezy? I am
surprised. Shocked! Astonished! But
60 on. sir. Of course you can insult
me all you like, am only your wife,
but if my father were here, sir, you
would not call him q jolly old-old-
roo-rooster. But am woman. I am
weak, and cannot resent your dreadful
language
my DEAR" said MIR. Breezy, ''calm
yourself. There is nothing in the
world to make such row about. You
know I only said your gov'nor was a
rooster in q playful mood. We both
have come to know. dear, that he is the
best old duffer-''
"Mr. Breezy, I shall stand this no
longer. To think of my poor dear ia
theirs being called duf-what do you
call it?''
..Duffer, DEAR said Mr.. Breezy,
ssthere is nothing terrible in that; it is
only a joking way of abiding to the
"Mr. Breezy, you are in very jok-
ing mood this morning." said Mrs.
Breezy, suddenly taking new tack.
''You should hire yourself out to the
next circus that comes along. Your
clownish ways could then be apprecia-
ted. How the people would laugh at
your very brilliant and original jokes.
1t is quite fresh vein in your charac-
ter, too, Mr.. Breezy. So it seems
that have never properly appreciated
your accomplishments. Keep it up,
dear, it is so becoming to a man of your
years and apparent responsibility. I
am SO glad that l have married a man
of real genius and wit, and to think that
you have been hiding your light under
bushel all these years. Don't do it
any more, dear. It's really a duty you
owe the world to give them the benefit
of your humor. And you frame your
jokes in such an elegant language, too,
dear. Duffer. muff, rooster. I have
reason to be proud of such husband.
Yes, of course, l am proud, oh, SO
proud of you, Mr.. Breezy" and Mrs.
Breezy swept from the room.
'.But, DEAR" said Mr.. Breezy, show
about that important matter you wished
to-" but his wife was out of hear
ing.
''Rather coup de tea, as the French
say" murmured Mr.. Breezy, as he
closed the hall door after him.-Brook.
Ign Eagle.