Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1881-05-20
f II

LlME-hILN IHlLOSOTd T. aU IAlu-
night las night said the old man, in a
solemn voice as he looked up and down
the aisles. ''at midnight las night de
sperrit of Brudder Charles Climax Gosh
port, local member of dis club, passed
from y'arth to de unknown. Only a week
ago he sat in this hall-to-night he am
dressed for de grave. What ackshun will
be club take?n
81 'spose, sab, y said the Rev. Penstock
: as he rose up. s'dat it am in order to pre-
man Of the highest integrity, hberal-heart-
ed, high-minded, an dat his loss am sad
blow to de hull city,
Eyes, such resolushun am in order
Brudder Penstock, Can you remember dat
you ebber took Brudder Goshport by de
han an gin him a word of praise for his
hard work an honest wavs?''
ssI-I-doan remember dat cher did,
sah.'
cam dar pusson in dis hall who kin
remember dat he eber put fisself out to
favor Brudder Goshport?"
N OF a man answered.
kin any one of you remember dat you
took any perticler interes' in how he got
along?"
Not a voice was heard in reply.
''To be d little palmer continued the
President, sam dar one single pusson in
dis hall who cher felt fv e cent worth of
anxiety for Brudder Goshport's worldly Or
spiritual welfarea'
The hall was SO quiet that the sound of
Elder Toots rubbing his back ON the sharp
edge of window-casing gave everybody a
start.
Mot man in dis hull club-not a man
in dis hull city, so far as We knoW-eber
put hisself out to do favor for or speak d
word in praise of our lamented brudder,
an yet we have the cheek to talk of a res
olushun settin' forth his many vartures
an our heartfelt sorrow! No, sir We
doan pass no SIGH bizness heah! [ should
be ashamed to look his wilder in de face,
if we did, 1t am de way of de world to let
men alone jist when little help would
give 'em broad an easy road. We h'ar
of dis man or dat man havin' won de graf
itude of de people. but we doan' Par of 1t
until he am dead. When man has gone
from y7arth de papers an de public sud
denly discover how honest he was; what a
big heart Re had; how much good he was
alluS dom, an what loss to de world his
death will prove. De time to praise man
is when he am ivin7 beside u.s.. Praise
hurts nobody, but many a good man has
grown weary fur the want of apprecashun
Heah am seventy-two of us in dis hall to-
night, an we have to own up dat not one of
us cher went outer our way to prove to
our brudder that his gentle ways, his
squar' -dealin' an his upright life war any
mo- preciated by US dan as if he had been
a hoss-thief! An to pass resolushun
would he to brand ourselves hypocrites.
Let no man dare offer one. "-Detroit Free
Press.
An old lady on steamboat observed
two men pumping up water to wash the
deck, and the captain being near she asked
him as follows: swell, captain, got well
on board, eh 20 Eyes, ma am, always
carry one," said the polite captain. well
that's clever always did dislike this
nasty river water, especially in dog
days
The editor of Virginia paper was asked
by a stranger if it was possible that little
town kept up four newspapers, and the
reply was mo, it takes four newspapers
to keep up the town.
It is hoped our Government will do moth
ing to offend the Nihilists in this country.
A glass bomb thrown at our navy would
entirely obliterate it.
The shores of Long Island Sound are
wearing away at the rate of an inch every
thirteen years. The fish must have room
even if it crowds the fishermen.
"Just take bottle of my medicine"
said a quack doctor to a consumptlve,
land you'll never cough again.. sis it
so fatal as that?" gasped the patient.
A lovely little poem entitled 1.-THE Sui |
cide.'' is going the rounds just now. We !
got into the right path.
The New York s'Advertiser'' believes |
they bought live trout and put 'em in a
bathtub and fish with sieve.
do unto others as you would they
should do unto you,7 saucily exclaimed a
Philadelphia girl when her lover begged
her to kiss him.
The young woman who used to sing so
dlvineIy, '.Oh, had the wings of a dove"
is satisfied with chicken leg now She is |
married.
The world never knows the great re-
spect lawyers have for each other, until |
one dies and there is a meeting of the bar. |
The New Orleans s'Picayune' says that |
a man should be the boss of himself. But |
suppose the poor fellow is married?
An Iowa paper, speaking of an old resi-
dent, says that the frosts of..seventy sum-
mers have whitened his hair
1t rains alike on the just and uDjust-on
the just mainly because the unjust have
borrowed their umbrellas
A social man is one who, when be has
ten minutes to spare, goes and bothers
somebody who hasn't.
When theskitchen maid grabs the scour-
ing rag, tlnware has a, bright future be-
fore it.
A uonnu ladu at q boil ca lied her heaia |