davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1881-03-04
TELLGEsIu iiIsTtEE,.

4 writer on "somc recent advances
in telcgraphy" gives the following
amusing instances of hlundcrs caused
10y the alteration of dots and dasho8 in
the code now in use. 4 dot will con
vert the word save into "ravc," and
pound" is easily transposed into
"ionnd," aud the words dead" and
"bad' are made up Of precisely the
same number Of dots and dashes, the
only difference being the insertion Of a
space. After reading this none will be
surprised that, when party OF young
ladies was announced AZ having EAR
rived all right the message was deliy-
cred as arrived all tight" and that
also, when a husband went to the sea
side 10 secure apartmeots, and arranged
with his wife chat il he found apart
ments be would telegraph for her to
come, but if unsuccessful would return
home, he telesraphed, "lIome tonight,
but she received the message, "Come
tonight" and the result was that they
crossed on the road. Agrin, gentle
man was out of town and his only
child was at home unwell-with the
measles, he suspected his wife tcle-
graphed, Rash all gone" but he re
ceived message, "Cash all gone"
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1881-03-04

SOUND ADVICE.


+" You wish to be a lawyer, john we'll, I'd
not say word
Unless felt quite certain that your long
iDgs are absurd;
don't wish 10 discourage you, but then
cant consent
To board you, as Id bev TO do, and pay
your Office rent.
"You'yo got a set Of Iusiy limbs and ordi-
nary head,
And you are meant by common toll to
earn your daily bread;
But thriving farm and pleasant home
where man and wife agree
Beat any ono. horse lawyers as far ar you
can scs.
"If you'd been born with talent, John,
you'd long since bov shown
That You had gifts, by stealing Off 10 study
bsoks alone.
Now, if you ever read book j rally don't
know when,
Though, come 10 think, b'Ieye you .ling
sornswhai legal pen.
IL wise. my boy, the legal ranks are
more tI'an crowded now,
Aud half Of them who starve therein
were cut ont for the pIow,
Blt they misiook pure laziness for talent,
understand,
AID help To Gll big supply where there
j. no demand.
ire they educated 7'' Yes, bat here let
me explain
That seed that's sOwn in sbsky soil brings
firth bat little grain;
And this higher education TO an ordinary
mind
l. Ike pair OF big gold specs upon a man
that's blind.
There is noProuder place than 'twixt the
handles Of plcu;
CThough stunpy land has humbled me al
times, must allow,
And a FOR human greatness, I should
think had nv share
IT could take the prize for cows at our
next county fair.
Just emulate your sire, my son, and just
as sure as fate,
fon'Il live to be respected, though per-
haps you won't be great,
But enter Law, and five short years will
clean you out 30 bad
You'l have no recollection OF the last
square meal you've had
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1881-03-04
rACrS WORTH KNOWING.

One thousand shingles, laid four
inches TO the weather, will cover one
thousand square feet of surface, and
five pounds of shingle nails will fasten
them on.
One-flth more siding and flooring is
needed than the number of square feet
of surface to be covered, because of the
lap in the siding und matching of the
floor.
One thousand latbs will cover sew
enty yards of surface, and eleven lbs.
of lath nails will nail them on.
Eight bushels Of good lime; sixteen
bushels Of sand, and one bushel of hair,
will make enough good mortar to plas-
ter one hundred square yards.
A cord OF stone, three bushels of
lime and = cubic yard of sand will lay
one hundred cubic feet of wall.
Five courses of brick will lay one
foot in height on a chimney six bricks
in course viii make fiue four inches
wide and twelve inches long and eight
bricks In course will make fue
eight inches wide and sixteen inches
long.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1881-03-04
SiEEGT tEI.

4 hds friend Is very fond Of par.
rDts, and determined 10 get one al
any cost. Living near ~ was a
frenchnan, who owned a very fine
specimen OF The bird, aud the lady
threw longing and coyet0us eyes II
10. Il could talk like a woEnan, and
Mrs. Blank a. last resolved to own
that parrot. The other day, being
acquainted with the Frenchman, .he
made up her mind 10 ask him 10 part
with IL. She called upon him for
That purpose.
Now. Mr.. Napoleon" she plead
cd, "you must let me have that par
rot"
''Oh, madame, ," he said. al could
not part wiz the parrote for any
price. he voz re choy Of my what
YOU call him ? "Oui, household. /
have been ofTair fcefty dollair of he.
/ would not take ze tousand dollar
FOR he"
She pleaded in vain. Napoleon
could not be moved.
\ few days later she called again,
bat still the Frcnchman was Immov-
able.
"l tell what | 10. geef you two
nice parrot eggs FOR ten dollar. All
you haf TO do is To place zem in zum
cotton, and zey hatch zemselves out
TWO magniiique parrote peards."
The bargain was made, and the
lady withdrew in a delighted frame
OF mind. She did as directed, and
in course Of time the eggs were
hatched; but instead Of "two par
rotc, a brace of the finest Young
ducks that ever made hole i'm the
water put in an appearance.
Mrs. Blank hurried 10 the mar
and berated him soundly for the de
ception.
Mr.. Napoleon looked surprised.
Madame he protested, 'I saw
re female parrot lay zose eggs wi
my own two eyes. She was re fines
peard in 70 world, but / cannot voucl
for ze morality of re parrote."
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1881-03-04
uE WAITED 70 LilcI:.


At mid forenoon Yesterday man
who was crossing Woodward Avenue
mt Congress- STREET snddcnly began to
paw tln mir with his hands and per
form divers strange antics with hia
feet, and after taking plenty Of time
about it ho came down in heap.
Moro than fifty people saw tho per
formance. and there was general
laugh. Ii had rot vet ceased when IA
man with funeral countenance pushed
his way into the crowd and asked
"Who is he What's his name :"
"Joncs," answered voice.
What Jones T.
"Thomas Jones"
"Sure T.
"Yes, I've known BIN for twenty
years.
"Then I'll laugh, said tho solemn
faced man, and he leaned against the
wall and chackled and laughed until he
could hardly cet his breath. Ono of
the crowd remarked on his singular
conduct, and the laughor wiped tho
tears from his eyes and replied
Gentlemen, nothing ticklcs me all
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1881-03-04
4 BtT or HEAHr.

once know workingman, potter
by business, WHO had one small invalid
child at home. Ho wrought at his
trade, exemplary with fidelity, being
always in the shop al tie opening of
tbe day lie managed, however, 70
bear each evening to tho bcdside of tho
"wee lad as ho called him, a flower, q
bit Of ribbon Of fragment cf crimson
glass indeed, anything that would lie
out OF the white countcrpane aud give
color ia ll,e room. lie was a quiet,
unscntimcntal ScotoLman but be never
went home al nigbtfnll without some
toy or trinkot showing he had renem.
bcrcd The wan faces that 10 al. 80 shen
be came in. ] presume that he noyer
said 10 living soul that hc l3yed that
boy 10 much Still lic went on patient
~ loving him Ala hy aad by be-
moved thpt whole shop into positive
but Unconscious fellowship with BIN.
The workmcn made curious iitle jars
and tcacups on their wheels. sud paint
cd diminutiye pictures down the sides
before they stuck them ia tae corners
Of the kiln at burning time. One
brought somc fruit il the bulge or bis
apron and another some cpc,ayings Ia
rude sc,apbook Eot one Of them
whispered @ofJ, for thia solemn thug
was not to be talked aLoht They pat
them ia the oil mans bat, whcfo he
found them 80 be- undeia'o opd all about
it. And ! tell yon seriously, hat en-
tire pottery fall Of men, rather coarse
fibre and nature, grc@ T,ies IA the
months driftel, becoming gentle and
kind, and some of ihc uug1rcrned ones
stopped awearing, as tie @etry look on
the patient worker f.ce ts!l them be
-youd any mistake that 'he inevitable
shadow was drawing rearcr. Every
day somebody did a piece of his work
for bim and put i opon ,he andsd
plank 70 dry thus be could come later
andiSo earlier. So, when thc 0elI tollcl
and the ii,tle colin came ont Of the
door Of tho holy house. rigb. arounl
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1881-03-04

Philadelphia paosal

One Of tho most remarkable stories
ever told in n newspaper is that of Miss
Mary lIammel, young woman about
81 years Of age, who is a grand .daugb
ter Of Philip l.. Frcnau, the well.known
American writer who edited newspa-
per in this city during the latter part
Of the last century. Miss lIamrnel is
ono OF two sisters the eldest being #
widow who own small property and
reside at Winfield, Long Island A
year and a half ago they rented # por
tion Of their dwelling 20 MIRA Caro-
line G. Allen, a woman about 5j years
old, who came TO them lnghly recon
mondcd with letters representing hGr to
los engaged in philanthropic labors, ami
who pretended 20 have son, tho Rev
Charles Allen. of this city MrE. Allen
soon came to be- the ruling spirit Of the
establishment, and a. once assumed
complete control over the younger sis
ter, Miss IInmmcl a quarrel with
the elder sister led to Mira. Allanb cx-
pusion from the house, and bcr arrest
and sentence on conviction To jail for
six weeks for assault At tho end Of
this time she again made her appear.
ance, asserted her influence over Miss
liammel and compelled the latter to 20
away with her, notwithstanding the
protests Of the elder sister. This was
the last heard Of Niss llammel until
last Friday, whom she was discovered
confined in little room six hy ten feet,
the doors of which had boon nailed up.
in nn old mansion ~ Flushing. l. l.
IIct sister hal male every effort 10 Gnd
her, Jut in vain. When found she ses
barefooted, had on only three filthy gar
ments, and was 30 weak from hunger
that she could scarcely stand. She bad
been Imprisoned IN this place, without
a spark Of fire. aimee the middle Of 30
yembcr Her story is that SITTER leay-
ing her sisters home she hal been per
sistcntly malireatcd Ly Mrs Allca. aho.
during all that time, hal i"pt h'r
prisoner, hai compelled i,f in -trfou-
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1881-03-04
roFtL.1ros or TuE ,,oalD.

The pfc-,nt population II tie .niil,.
elpi.a u,ny b. estimated D, .4I5.G00.
600. This j. number almost Lcyoud
the gsnfp 4 persons WHO arc nor very
con,cr,ant visa ati,hmatical calcula.
Iiaus Suffice it 10 say tlu, the popu-
lation Of London, taken IA its widest
sense, Is 1000. COO, and that consequent
y, the whole world contains only SCI
times as many persons ~ the mctropo-
lis Of the British empire. II the mum
bers are arranged ia the order Of the
great divisions Of the globe, Asia, with
It's S3l, 10000 of inhabitants. stands
first on the list, followed by Earope
with less than half rs many. VIZ: 3D.
000,000 Africa has 2Oj 600, 600, and
America only $4,000, Willie Australia
and Polynesia contain 100000. and
the Polar regions only s. 1000 These
numbers added together, with the frac-
tions we have omitted, give the grand
total Of 100000 il We inquire
into the populations Of The different
countries Of Europe we find that Great
Britain and ireland, with its 3f,000,-
900, is by no means the most populous,
for Germany is estimated nc $4,000
600, Austrian Hungary at 3S,000,0OO
and France at 100000. Among the
smaller kingdoms Denmark has about
half the population of London, namely,
only few thousand less than 2,0e0,.
900 Switzerland has 800, 600 more
Belgium, one of the densost populqh,d
KINGDOMS, has 5,500,0O0 weden las
$500, 900 Spain 100000, and For
tugal nearly 100000. Russia is
sparsely peopled in proportion to its
extent, the whole population of its i'm
mense area only amounting to $4,000,
600. But perhaps the most striking
results of these Investigations lie in tie
fact that the handful Of British in Asia
control the destinies Of 100000 o
natives In America the United State:
is by far the greatest power, the popu
lation of Brazil coming next, with | j, +,
900, 900 London Queee.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1881-03-04
MesF EKrAEEGJE FAMILY TgT
LtrCI-r Mas ~ AHEEIcA.

Lewis Rockwell, aged l02 years,
lives In Il Iickeiy old house in Pike
county, Pa, not far from Tafton. lie
Il tie eldest of family reInarka-
be for the longevity Of its members.
Of tho Rockwell faInily there are
eight brothers and sisters yet living.
They are Lewis Rock well, aged 1Og
years hhram Rockwell, % Mrs.
Anne Wells, SO Miss S4llie Rock
well, - Eliza Rockwell, II Mrs.
Phoebe Gainsf1rd, - Mrs. Kather-
inc Brown, -, ard Mrs. Lucinda
Valentine, 70. The aggregate age Of
this fimily - G13. or an ayerage of
over 50 years each. In spite of the
fact that old Lewis Rockwell las
many rich relatives, be has been
thrown upon the town and he is now
neatly the only town charge in the
county. Lewis Cornelius, who died
some years "gO WAS a connection ot
tho Rockwell family. lie was al one
time the largest man 10 America, be-
ing considerably larger than the cele-
braicd Daniel Lambert, Bsrnnm's
giant. 8fr. Corocl:u., di,oen.i(.,,,.,
are entered uusu the record bool,s T.,
The ProfhoB0iary's Office. If sTiIc,rd
Pike c0unty. 40 r9llow..
Lewis cGrnelius. E.r, f-gf
Ifcight. six feet
C'irc,,,n c.r.,.o IT,. .,, "
feet two lDchca
circumference above ,ysi.t AZ, f...
two and one-half incb.s
Circumference of arr, si,,...o ,.i,.o,r
,yo To-. .,rl 80 ;oi, - a. - "'''e = '""'
(.iron,,' fercnco - ,,,.,.,,.- " .....
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1881-03-04

I'm going to swash around and ent cake
and drink lemonade with lot OF illus.
trations Of the Silurian period 7 Think
I'm going Co spend the day with II lot
of articulated old skeletons just be-
cause they belong to tho same church
that | dot" And Mr.. Spoopendyke
popped out of the house like bung,
aud went to the next door TO sec If his
friend 1ortorthumb knew any mummiea
cf whose history there was some tradi
ton.
al don't care" said Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke, as she whirled around two or
three times To practice kicking her
train. "lf ho don't call on the church
people they'll be hopping mad and, II
he does, he won't havo much Of time;
SO he'll wish he was dead either way"
and Mrs. Spoopendyke hustled into tbe
parlor TO assure n sandy haired young
man with stiff neck that IL was awful
good OF him TO come, and TO learn that
ho hadn't come far OF bis own volition,
but had slid most of tho way.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1881-03-04
sTRItrLY TEMPERATE.

"Why,' thundered nm impassioned
orator at temperance mass meeting,
Gin only one year, in twelve short
months, the people of the United States
drank 27,S67,9l5 gallons of beer, and
7,853,29l gallons of Whisky How
much of this did you drink 7" he cried,
glaring around at the respectable Vice
Presidents on the platform. And in
the impressive pause that followed the
corresponding secretary arose and said
that with the exception of the tonic
drops she was compelled to take before
breakfast and the anti malarial Litters
that DR.. Bolus prescribed for her, and
little pale ale for her digestion and
pint of beer at night, which she couldn't
close an eye in sleep without it, and
maybe an occasional drop of brandy for
the neuralaSy she had not tasted drop
of spiritual or ferventuous liquids since
she Joined the society And n great
hush fell upon the meeting, like the
voice OF man who has just been asked
for the loan of ten dollars. s.-Burltngton
HdtCkele.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1881-03-04

A Boston man besought his wife,
he being but three years married, for
the privilege of night-key. "Nlght
key ?" she exclaimed, in tones OF
amaZement, "what use can you have
for nightkey, when the Woman's
Emancipation League meets Monday
eight, the Ladies' Domestic Mission
Tuesday, the Sisters of Jericho
Wednesday, the Woman's Science
Circle, Thursday, the Daughters of
Ninevah, Friday, and the Women's
Progressive Art Association and the
Suffrage Band on alternate Saturday
nights. You stay at home and see
that the baby doesn't fall out of the
cradle" He stays.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1881-03-04

We owe not IA little Of tbs pleasure
~e derive from newspapers 10 the eNcr-
ilons of the report ters. The editor may
elaborate and comment upon the news
of The day, but the intelligent reader,
ii in possession of the same facta is
quito able to do this himself The
most popular newspapers, other things
being equal, are those which employ
the best reporters, the largest number
Of them, and which allow them the
greatest liberty. IL is "A hard liberty.
II is nard life and full Of real drudge
ry, yet there is . sort of liberty at
tached TO it, which, combined as il IL
with severest discipline, gives the bust
ness its attractions, while preparing it's
incumbents for higher positions. II is
by this reportorial experience that the
editor learns how TO come near tho pub
lie and how to find just what is :he
opinion of the people and, if he is
wise, he will bear in mind this part Of
his professional life. The reporter is
often pointed in his remarks, sharp,
shrewd, and at times sarcastic. IL
could hardly be otherwise. No class of
men come into such close contact with
all other classes, and none see so clearly
and near at hand the shams and follies
OF the times. None are therefore bet
ter able to hold the mirror mp to ma
ture." lie is sometimes little severe
in noting the follies of the day but
does he not know, after all, that readers
generally apply the sarcastic remarks
to others and reserve the tender touches
for themselves
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1881-03-04

The passing passion Of New York
girls is for children just old enough to
walk. Pet dogs are discarded for the
time being, and the fashionable belle
leads instead little toddler by the
hand. The object is to be regarded by
strangers as youthful and interesting
mother. "Lend me your baby this af-
ternoon," is the common request TO gen
uine mothers 10y maidens. Going
distance of four blocks on fifth avenue
you will meet from three to five girls
of not more than nineteen demurely
leading tiny children, and counterfeit
ing maternal air. Sometimes the at
tractive oflsprings of poor parents are
borrowed, dressed carefully and taken
out. The freak is new and wonderful.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1881-03-04

A CHICAGO young lady, who say
that she is twenty eight, is not ilt
looking and is an only daughter
whose father has made his will in her
favor, also says that when girls in
fashionable society get tired of their
set they do not want to marry
young men in that circle, but really
look out for poor young men who do
not care for dancing parties, and who
want to stay at home for the rest of
their lives
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1881-03-04
FINNY FANGEEs.


4 money maniae-"Omr Uncle"
Tie balloonist's home is one fight
up.
Il am shocked" as tie cut grain
said.
4 bad sign-Indorsing a worthless
note.
Familiar onotstions-The price #
stocks.
G;.rrallv sreaking intoxicants are
hs,i.
When does a lock get ripe enough to
pic..
The divorce lawyers favorite fruit
\ tart pair.
a man who opens oysters does things
by halves.
business.
song oi the eook-lioid the 1oIk, Try
\ cofh-dodger-A man who avoids
wearing 'isht boots
C'ocked stockings are very striking
articles OF apparel
II does not ;,Dn,ov- ,o,.to 70 b,ro
Specks on Its eyes
eve oct ont .stbs farmer said
n the Lamb in his corn
s.n,son ,r.s on. of IL g.. ,,ho
..,ooI- -, b;s r.s;denca
- -
"
4 new version: "I can bark as well
ID o"' "N '"e ''se S"'u 10 inc u
A hen always knows tie man who
robs her nest, for she is always LAYING
~ ''''''
Girls are fond of military titles, ex-
cepting, perhaps, that of general house
20 Ye" is the name of a Chatham
street laundryman. We presume he is
=
There is a great water famine in some
parts of New Jersey, but apple-jack
If railroad shsuld run over rats
tail would Mr. Bergh advise tearing up
"
'Well, wife, YOU can't say | ever
contracted bad habits" No, sir; you
se"'' ANY 'A f'"i'O '
When the baby cries for bread it is
the most natural thing for the mother
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1881-03-04
THROW PmYsIC TO THE DOGs.

A great portion of the suffering and dis
tress OF this country is due to the fact that
the people take too much physic and too
many drugs. Ii you want to preserve
your health, save doctors and druggists
bills, use tho California Pine and Euca-
lyptus Porons Plasters for all pains. For
sale by Foshay & Mason, Fosters Brick,
Main ST., Albany, Or.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1881-03-04
RATES OF ADVERTISING.

Business notices in tho Local Columns
20 cents per line.
For legal snd transient advertisements
- 90 per square, for the first insertion, and
80 cents per square for each subsequent in
sertion.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1881-03-04
DIED.

FOSTER-Tn Albany, on the night of
February Goth, 1881, of heart disease,
MRs. NJ. j. Foster, aged 81 years, 4
months and 81 days.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1881-03-04

A pack of fools, like pack of cards,
are easily played with.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1881-03-04

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