Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1881-01-11
"But suppose he did spell it with

little g-what then !"
"Well. If he done it purpose,
reckon he wouldn't stand no chance--he
oughtn't to have no chance anyway, I'm
most rotten certain bout that"
"What is your name"
"Nicodemus Dodge"
81 think maybe you'll do. Nicodemus.
Well give you trial any way"
"All right"
"When would you like to begin =
Nov"
So, within ten minutes after we had
first glimpses at this nondescript he was
one OF us, and with his coat off and hard
at it.
Beyond that end of our establishment
which was furthest from the street was
a deserted garden, painless and thickly
grown with the gloomy and villainous
"jimpson' weed and its common friend
the stately suniiower. In the midst of
this mournful spot was a decayed and
aged little frame" house with but one
room, one window and no ceiling-it
had been a smoke house a generation
before. Nicodemus was given this lone
ly and ghos,ly den as a bedchamber.
The village smarties recognized a
treasure in Nichodemus right away-a
butt to play jokes on. 1t was easy to
see that he was iaconceivably green and
confding. George Jones had the glory
of purpetrating the first joke on him. He
gave him a cigar with FIRE cracker in
it. and wipked to the crowd to come :;
the thing exploded presently and swept
away the bulk of Nicodemus' eyebrows
and eyelashes. He simply said:
81 consider them kind of seeg. yars
dangersome, and seemed to suspect
nothing. The next evening Nicodemus
waylaid George and poured bucket Of
ice water over him.
One day while Nicodemus was in
swimming, Tom McElroy " tied his
clothes. Nicodemus made a bonfire of
Toms by way of retaliation.
A third joke was played upon Ncode-
mus a day or two later-he walked up
the middle aisle of the village church,
with a staring handbill pinned upon his
shoulders. The joker spent the rest OF
the night after church, in the cellar of a
deserted house, and Nicodemus sat on
the cellar door till toward breakfast
time. to make sure that the prisoner re-
membered that if any noise was made,
some rough treatment would be the con
sequence. The cellar had two feet Of
stagnant water in it, and was bottomed
with six inches of soft mud.
But wander from the point. 1t was
the subject of skeletons that brought
this boy back TO my recollection. Be
fore very long time had elapsed the
village smarties began to feel an uncom-
Portable consciousness of not having
made a very shining success out of Their
attempts upon the simpleton of "Oid
Shelby Experiments grew scarce
and chary. Now the young doctor came
to the rescue. There was delight and
applause when he proposed to them the
plan of frightening Nicodemus to death.
and explained how he was going to do
it. He had a noble new skeleton-the
skeleton of the late and only local celeb
rity, Jimmy Finn, the village drunkard
"a grisly piece Of property he had
bought Of Jimmy Finn himself at auc-
ton. for fifty dollars, under great COM
petition, when Jimmy lay sick in the tan
yard a fortnight before his death. The
fifty dollars had gone promptly for
whiskey, and had considerably hurried
up the change Of ownership in the skel.
eton. The doctor would put the skele-
ton in Nicodemus bed.
This was done about 1920 in the
evening. About Nicodemus usual bed
time-midnight-the village jokers came
creeping stealthily through the jimpson
weeds and sunfowers toward the lonely
frame den. They reached the window
and peeped in. There sat the long-leg-
get pauper on his bed in a very short
shirt and nothing more. He was dang
ling hi, legs contentedly back and fourth,
and wheeling the music of " Camptown
Races out Of paper overlaid comb.
which he was pressing against his
mouth; by him lay new Jews harp, a
new top, solid India-rubber ball, a
handful OF painted marbles. five pounds
of store" candy and well-gnawed
slab of gingerbread as big and as thick
as volume of sheet music. He had
sold the skeleton to a travelling quack
for three dollars and was enjoying the
result