davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Osage Valley banner., 1881-04-21
HUMOROUS.

The cotton grower depends a great
deal on his gin, -LotoeH Citizen,
The store maple-sugar is now
known as the oleomargarire OF the
forest. - Boston Transcript.
The lateness of spring never puts
back the maple sugar crop left over
from last year. IN o. Picdyufse.
The man who was waiting for
something to turn up was rewarded
when he stepped upon the edge of a
barrel hoop - SonterUiHe Journal
-Proprietors of summer hotels are
now searching the dictionaries for new
words in which 10 depict the splendors
Of their houses and the all-embracing
grandeur of the scenery boston Tran
script.
The Billy-goat's q pretty bird,
Aud loves to dine ON shirts;
But for "A midday luncheon he
Prefers 20 cat hoop-skirts.
Old Oyster-oans and rubber shoes
Appease his appetite,
While barTcl-huops and cOrSetstays
"'N W --Ciicdgo Tribune.
Wilkinson came into the parlor the
other day and sat down upon chair
which he thought had larger cushions
than usual. He hadn't sat down more
than two seconds when he was lifted in
the air and came down upon his face.
He asked his wife what was on the
chair. She said her new bonnet " II
has few pins in it" "Oh, ! see"
said Wilkinsoni "thats your spring
bonnet. --Fuch.
Hero worship; IL was on Washing
toms birthday. An old gentleman Of
eighty or more took down the old shot
gun he had carried during the war of
1872 and went out and began to fire ii.
Inspired by the sight of such patriotic
love for Washington in one so old, We
approached him and complimented him
on it. The old man, in trembling tones,
replied: patriotism be durnedl I'm
irving to put load of buckshot in that
dog o Jones' that s out yonder. Boston
Post.
james said the grocer, as he
looked over his spectaclesat the boy who
was measuring out half a bushel Of pota-
loes. III find that have spelt sugar
with an III in il. Is that rightP ''No
sir" replied the clerK, after spelling
the word over several times. "No, !
guess II isn't. but hate TO scratch II
out. What shall dopr "If II was
me. sir, and had put an n in sugar, ]
should order hams and leave the III on
there" "Of course--of course. Real
ly, James, but begin 10 feel my age,
and | only wonder that don't some
limes spell eggs with two g's.'-- DesrcN
Free Fress.
Osage Valley banner., 1881-04-21
PERSONAL AND LITERARY.

Senator Malone has q daughter
and two sons who are old enough to
enter society.
Mr.. John T. Raymond is about TO
wed Miss Rose Courtney Barnes,
daughter Of the actress. Rose Eytinge,
formerly Mrs. David Barnes.
The King of Portugal is literary
feller' and makes money at the trade.
His royalty on his translation Of Shake
speare has yielded him $4,000. He
finds that the best kind Of royalty.
---ssFlorence Percy the author Of
"Rock Me to Sleep, Mother" now
lives in Maine and edits paper there.
One of her young daughters has for a
name her mothers nom-de-plume of
Florence Percy.
Arthur Sullivan has resigned his
position at the Kensington Training
School of Music and is already well
advanced with the music of the first
act of Mr.. Gilbert's new libretto, which
hits at the present English folly of ex-
aggerated estheticism.
The portrait of Milton, which was
once owned by Charles Lamb, has just
DttH III ny WI NNNthA-
itch for 81 ,775. 1t was painted about
1640, when the poet was still distin-
guished by that physical beauty of
which the world has heard so much but
which is missing in all his other por-
/ traits.
"A masterpiece by Albert Durer is
said to have found at Wiesbaden. IL
is an old painting three feet by two in
size representing Christ crowned with
thorns, and by his side Cexaphas and
one ofthe two thieves. The picture is
well preserved and bears on the right
upper corner Durer's monogram with
the date of Nuremberg, 1906.
Peter Herdic is in Washington look
ing after his Pennsylvania avenuecoach-
es. He has granted licenses for Colum-
bus. Dayton, Pittsburgh, Toledo, De.
troit, Memphis, Buffalo, Chicago, and
many small places, and has no doubt
that before next winter lines OF Her
dies will be in operation in the chic
cities and towns of the whole Union.
President Grevys manner of re
ceiving company is excellent There j
: great courtesy in the mans q nature. HI
is gallant toward ladies', TO whom h
administers compliments in the lozeng'
form. He squeezes q deal of gallan
politeness into very few words, anC
varies in way that is perfectly aston
ishing his pretty little speeches to fai
guests.
Osage Valley banner., 1881-04-21
scnooI Teaehers, saIarIes.

A proposal in the Boston School
Board 70 reduce the salaries of the
school teachers OF that city gave
Rev George A. Thayer a chance 10 free
his mind on the subject in minority
report. He had obtained estimates, he
said, from careful and trustworthy per-
sons, Of the incomes enjoyed by sue
cessful members OF the learned profess
sions in Boston. Fifty lawyers make
$4,000 year and upward; one hun
dred make from $1,000 to $40. 600; one
hundred or more make from $4,000 to
3, 900. Eleven doctors are believed to
make $4,000 a year. forty from $40, 900
Co $40, 600, eighty from -, 900 to $40, 900,
and two hundred from 81, ,000 to 50, 900
In three leading Protestant sects,
twonty-one ministers receive salaries
ranging from ST. O0Oto $4,000. For his
part, the Rev. Mr.. Thayer thought that
Boston should seek for the teachers OF
its children large-minded persons,
whose abilities would have earned them
distinguished success in any of these
other professions or in trade. But il
could not set such teachers unless i
was prepared TO assure them honorable
comfort and an old age free from care
about money.
Osage Valley banner., 1881-04-21
A FastIdlOus Prisoner.


There was prisoner in cell No. 3
whom nothing could suit, He found
fault with the size of the cell the mo-
ment he was locked in. and as soon as
he discovered the lack of Brussels
carpet and walnut-panel bedsteed he
took on dreadfully. During the night
he called for wine, new maple sugar,
bananas, his dear mother, a volume OF
Shakespeare and about fifty other
things, and at the last moment before
being conducted to the court room he
said to Bijah:
Now, then, l want pair of gloves
and cane. and you may give my shoes
shine and my coat brush
q Is this James Lobdellp'' asked MS
Honor.
Yes. yes, certainly it is" was the
reply. "and want TO remark that the
station houses of this city are disgrace
to the tenth century,
Anything wronge"
Everything wrong, sir. Think OF a
man OF culture and refinement having
to sleep on bench instead of bedI
No carpets, no chairs. no light, no
l5oshs 1nS the old Daid-handed man
called Bygar telling me that II was
good enough for me, and asking me to
wash my hands in cold water and vel.
low bar soapr'
"And yet you were hot particular
about the sort of drink you got drunk
on, mused his Honor. 1t was whis-
ky, and poor whisky at that. Youw were
Kicked out of saloon, fell into the mud
several times, and the officer found you
asleep on the edge of mud-puddle.
Drunk, sir! Does any one assert
that was drunkv'
at is so asserted. How came you
here If not for drunkennessP
II did not know as / was under ar
rest until locked up, Being stranger
in the city, | supposed was walked up
here 10 save me from being robbed.
"What could you have been robbed
II refuse 10 answer any such debas-
( ing questionsr said the prisoner as he
/ turned away.
II shall have to send you to the
/ House OF Correction
"If | am sent to bastile," said
James, as he halted in his walk and
4 stretched forth his arm, if l am sent
to prison for even an hour this country
shall ring with -"
Clothes wringer," said the court
as the prisoner stood gasping for breath
" | sentence you for thirty days, and II
you faint away or burst a blood-vesseI
or have fit the only remedy we have
at hand is to pour cold water down you
/ back"
The prisoner followed Biiah into tn,
corridor and challenged him to fight I
duel, but the old man doubled him uE
and put him in the coal scuttle unit
called for. -Delrol Free Press.
Osage Valley banner., 1881-04-21
Fashion Notes.

Stripes will be worn for travelling
suits.
Bengaline is the new name for Sicili-
enne.
Satin merveilleux 10 the present name
for Surah.
Jet.bcaded Spanish lace trims many
imported suits.
Mantles with hayelock capes attached
will be worn.
shirred visite mantles appear among
other spring wraps.
Cheese cloth comes ia "a much inn
proved form for sumnier suits.
Fans aud parasolS match fancy cos
TUNES for country seaside wear.
Havelock capes and collars appear
on many-tigbt-fitting ulsters.
Large white collars of linen batiste
will be much worn in the summer.
Fringes, as we'll as flowers and satins
dc Lyons, come in shaded effects.
Largo-iigured cretonne costumes will
be revived for indoor and country wear.
A CLINT of pale blue in toilets where
reds prevail produces a tine artistic eff
feet
Bottle green and cinnamon brown
are the colors for fashionable matrons.
Long, tight basques, fitting as snug
as jersey are worn at the moment.
Point d. 'Aurllac is new lace used
in the trimmings of null collars and
cuffs.
Gloves are worn to reach above the
elbow when the sleeves are very short
A leading novelty is the Normandy
crown to Tuscan straw Fanehon bon
nets.
Camellias, both red and white, are
revived for corsage and coiffure deco
rations.
Some OF the new null muslin neck
ties have hens all around of blue or pink
null.
Bead embroidered and gold thread
stitched gloves appear among expensive
/ novelties
Mantles are trimmed with high fraises
/ of plated black lace around the neck
and shoulders.
Cheviot ulsters take the form of loos'
| Mother Hubbard cloaks, with large
square elbow sleeves.
| New Lisle thread and silk gloves havl
long, loose, buttonless wrists reaching
half way 20 the elbow.
BoaIuots of roses Of All shades gr0v
more aud more popular, for both tn
corsage and bonnet.
Imported dresses this season have
boulant hip draperies, but are marrow
and clinging at the bottom.
Pale rose and pale blue India muslin
neck scarfs are more worn at the mo
ment than white or cream ones.
The high plated fraises about tn,
neck and shoulders of summer mantle
give them very dressy look.
A dash OF yellow in the form of
ribbon bow or yellow flower gives tn
required live effect to a gray or brow
toilet.
Chemisettes of cream white. pal
blue, and rose-colored Surah, and c
India muslin in the same colors, will b
much worn by Young girls.
Dark gray shaded TO silver gray is
favorite ombre silk for bOnnets, tn
trimmings consisting of steel and silve
beads. steel and silver ornaments, an
shaded dark and silver gray ostrich tips
IN. y sun
Osage Valley banner., 1881-04-21
The Highland Regiments.

There are nine regiments in the
British army which have the title OF
Highlanders. OF these five are killed
aud the other four wear the trews.
The killed regiments are the Forty
second Royal Highland Regiment 1.-THE
Black Watch), the SeYentY-eighth
Highlanders (Ross shire Buifs), the
Seventy-ninth Cameron Highland
ers, the Ninety-second Gordon
Highlanders. and the Ninety-third
Sutherland Highlanders. The regi-
ments wearing the trews are the Seventy
first Highland Light Infantry, the
Seventy-second (Duke OF Albany 81
Highlanders, the Seventy-fourth High
landers, and the Ninety-first princess
Louise's) Argyllshire Highlanders. Oi
these regiments the Seyenty-ninth wear
the Cameron tartan, the Ninety-second
the Gordon. the Ninety-third the Suth-
erland, and the Ninety-iirst the Cawdor
Campbell, the uniform thus in each case
connecting the regiment withihe coun-
ty and family in which il was raised.
The Seventy-tirst wear the Macleod
tartan, having been raised by Lord
Macleod, son Of the Earl OF Cromarty,
and the Seventy eighth, who were form
ed by the Earl Of Seaforth out OF the
clans of Mackenzie and Macrae, wear
the Mackenzie tartan The Forty
second wear tartan which is
not like that of any clan, al
though it closely resembles the
Forbes tartan. The reason for this is
not far TO seek. as the regiment was
originally formed OF gentlemen OF yari-
GUS clans and families.
Osage Valley banner., 1881-04-21

The Persian has, In common with
other Governments. local tribunal in
Constantinople, and not long since five
culprits were punished in the court
yard of the Persian Consnlate-General
by the Persian knout. a frightful instru-
ment composed of five stout leather
thongs. The culprits presented ghasi~
ly appearances after the punishment,
Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1881-03-17

man named l.. B. Kelly, who formerly re-
SIDED IN Portland, was found in the mount
aims 80 miles from Yakima, w. t., a few
days ago. Kelly was lost about the middle
OF January, while out hunting stock, and
notwithstanding diiigent search his remains
were not discovered until now.
samuel Judkins, 8 young man living near
Eugene City, went out hunting in the mount
ans over four days ago, since which time he
laa mas not not been seen. Several parties are
searching for him, as yet without success. II
Is thought that he has met with fatal acci-
dent or persisted from exposure.
lad named Sewer was run over this
evening by truck at the corner of Second
and Morrison streets, and very dangerously
injured. A wheel passed over his hips.
bIusing the flesh shockingly.
Moline Koss, young woman aged 20 years,
died here this evening from the effects of an
overdose OF morphine. She lived at Mil
waukee, where her mother is Postmistrsss.
Miss Ross had been in the habit of using the
drug, and it is not known whether the
dose was taken with suicidal intentor by acci-
dent. When first discovered she was speech.
less, and could not give any of the circum-
stances of the affair. In the absence of posi-
tive proof of suicide, her friends claim that
her death was the result of an accident. The
young lady has not had good reputation,
having led rather fast life of late.
The steamship Oregon, which was due here
Monday evening, has not yet crossed the bar,
and considerable public anxiety has been felt
for her safety. Several times the steamer
has been reported off the bar, but it was
denied again.
A dispatch was received here this evening
late that the Oregon had been beating of the
bar, unable to cross on account of its rough
ness for two days. The steamer will cross
early tomorrow morning.
Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1881-03-17
PRESENT CONDITION OF JAPAN

The American Consul General in Japan.
t. B. Van Buren, recently sent the De-
partment OF State an elaborate account of
the present condition of that Empire, and
from which we give the following partieu-
lars: The soil of Japan is vegetable
mold from two to ten feet In depth. The
highest temperature during the last nine
years was 93o and the lowest Do. The
average number of rainy days in the year is
ninety-seven. Contrary to former usage,
farm lands are held in fee simple. a new
Judiciary system is now in operation, by
which the rights of the poorest people are
protected. Although society has lost much
of its former patriarchial character, the
authority of the father is greater than
among the Western nations. The number
of elementary schools in the Empire is
%, ,450, with 69,625 teachers, and it is
believed that another decade will see
useful education within the reach
of every laborer. While there is much
licentiousness among certain classes, the
wife is almost invariably true to her hus-
band. All the carriage roads of the coun-
try would not measure over 1000 miles,
and they are not good but the sea, the
rivers and the canals afford cheap trans
portation. The horses and cattle combined
do not number 1000, 600 in all the land.
Houses are all built of wood, on account of
earthquakes, and the average number of
occupants is less than five to each house,
and city houses are less crowded than those
in the country. The fuel used is charcoal.
wood and dried grass. The rank of the
farmer has undergone no change since the
time of the Tycoon, when his position was
next to the governing class. Within the
past two years deliberative local assem-
blies have been established, to which
the farmers are admitted who have paid
tax of SO. The area of land under
cultivation is about 1900, 600 acre., the
tillage most thorough, and the annual
wages generally S35 and board. The
farmers are very kind to their men, and
nearly all of them can read, write and
keep their accounts. The average value of
land is 5000 per acre, upon which is tax
of S. per acre. Rice is grown in all the
sixty provinces of the empire, with an
average yield of $40 per acre. The rice,
tea and silk farmers are the most prosper
GUS. OF wheat $4,000, 900 bushels were
raised in 1878. The yield of tea in 1878
was GO, 100000 pounds, and of silk, in
value, S3l, 250,000 Cotton is grown, but
the quality is not good. All artisans, like
the farmers, are held in high repute.
Porcelain is manufactured in all the prov
inces, an annual product of about So. 00o,-
600. Physicians do not charge for their
visits, but only for their medicines. In
former times the japanese chad no call
for lawyers. Fish are abundant in all parts
of the empire and salmon are most abun-
dant. The principal source Of revenue is
tax ON land, and the estimate for the
present year is about $50. eco. coo. The
total amount of paper money in circula-
ton is about $40, 10000, and this is a
calamity from which the empire is greatly
suffering at the present time.
Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1881-03-17
HOW A REsoLUTE YOUNG GERMAN
ENDED HIS LIFE.

One of the most novel cases of suicide
ever reported occurred on Tuesday night
in Flatbush. Philip Truschel, an Is year
old gardener, crawled head foremost into
the furnace used to heat the green houses
of his uncle, Louis Schmutz, in Clarkson
street, Flatbush, and was roasted to death.
Truschel came to this country about year
ago, and was employed by his uncle, who
intended to train him as florist. The
young man was quiet and studious, and
when his days work was finished he was
accustomed to spend his evenings reading.
He frequently spoke of the burden of life,
and said that he did not think life was
worth living, but his associates did not
suppose that he contemplated suicide. It
was part of TruschePs duty to keep the
fires burning in the green house furnace.
On Tuesday evening, Truschel and AL
fred Dernesy, fellow-laborer, were read
ing together in the greenhouse Just over
the entrance to the furnace. TruscheI
seemed as composed as usual, and said
nothing to indicate that he meditated self
destruction. There was strong heat il,
the furnace, and as the place was close and
warm Dernesy became drowsy and dropping
his paper fell asleep in his chair. He
awoke about 10 o'clock, and found Trus-
chel still reading his newspaper. Dernesy
then went into the other greenhouse and
again fell asleep. When he returned he
missed his companion, and went about
calling for him. As he got no answer he
concluded that Truschel had gone to bed,
and he determined to fix the furnace and
go to bed also.
Upon approaching the furnace he saw
the legs of Truschel protruding from the
door of the furnace. He at once pulled
the body out. The upper part was charred
almost beyond recognition.
The furnace door is SO small that
Truschel must have crawled in, forcing his
way with his hands and feet. This he
could not have done without burning his
hands severely. There was high bank of
hot Goals, which must have burned his
flesh before he was asphyxiated by the
gases. In. searching the greenhouse a
card was found which contained the fol-
lowing, written in German
FLArnUsH March /, 1881
Good by TO all And If any one is tired Of life az
! am he need only do as am about 10 do
PHILIP TRgscIIKI..
Coroner Keller held an inquest yester-
day. Alfred Dernesy testified that
Truschel had often said that if he had
pistol he would shoot himself. He also
spoke of hanging himself.
Louis Schmutz testified that he had
heard Truschel say that he would shoot
himself if he got a chance, but the witness
thought that he was foohng. Mr.. Schmutz
identified the handwriting upon the card aa
that Of his nephew.
The jury decided that Trnschel had crept
into the furnace while temporarily insane.
New York Snn. March 81.
Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1881-03-17
Items from Los Angeles.

Los ANGELES, March 16sh.-The trial Of
Henry Hunt, who killed Geo. w. Gillis a;
Ell Monte last January, commenced before
Judge Sepulyeda to-day: A jury was OBJ
sworn the case was continued till tomorrow
A special train, with Superintendent A N
Towne and other officials of the Central Pa.
cifc and Union Pacific roads returned from
Arizona this morning, and left for San Fran
cisco this afternoon.
Light rains fell from l to about 10 A. NJ
to day. The surrounding mountains are
covered with snow, well down the sides.
Notwithstanding the unfavorable weather,
the citrus fair attracts large crowds of visit
ors, all of whom. especially strangers from
the East, are loud in praises of the great va.
riety and excellence of the fruit exhibited.
Many additions we're made to-day.
Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1881-03-17
OREGON.


PORTLAND, March 16th.-John Payne was
arrested at Corvallis yesterday, on charge
of being implicated in the forgery for which
y. Dickson was arrested few days ago.
Payne was brought to this city, but was re-
leased on furnishing bonds.
The weather is very clear and lovely.
A stronger feeling IS manifested in the
wheat market, due to better advices from,
abroa1. Quotations are unchanged, thsueh,
6rmsc at 81 50 per Genital.
A spriyate dispateh was received hsrs TO-
day to the effect that the BODY OF a ysu1 /.
Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1881-03-17
NEVADA.
Passengers Passing Carlin,

CARLIN, March 16th.-The following pas.
sengers passed Carlin to-day, to arrive In
Sacramento March 18th: Ralph L. Shain.
wald and wife, Mrs. z. F. Butler and daugh.
ter, Mrs. G. E. Pillsbury and daughter, Miss
Nj. r. Florence. j. d. Thompson, s. Sylves-
ter, San Francisco; Prof. w. z. Blake. C.
Mitchell, Mrs. Keyes and child, E. J. Phelps.
New York c. w. Cunningham, Pennsyl-
vania G. w. Simmons, Austin, New; Mrs.
Leary, Boston NJ. Weinschenk. Chicago
Miss j. j. Patterson, Canada Z. ID. Keyes,
Oakland. Cal; DIR. Sargent, Stockton, Cal.
w. NJ. West, wife and son, Ohio; B. P.
Sears and wife. Denver, Col; G. Simmons,
Nebraska; e. NJ. Beardsley, Ohio j. Alny,
Rhode Island; George Ii. Bond, Boston; t.
Nehrlass, Yreks, CAL; J. Durney, PhiladeI
phia; T. E. Bingham, Ohio. No eIaigrani
passengers to-day,
Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1881-03-17
sou,bern paciffc Possenger,.

MoJAvE, March 16th.-The following pas
sengers passed Mojave to-day L. Brandt,
d. G. Waldron, San Francisco; w. L.
Glenn, Oakland; ]. D. Geddings, Mrs. E.
M. Abbott, San Jose E. Donovan, J. f.
Wykeson and wife, San Francisco G. L.
Hale, Tucson II. L. Weston, Mrs. III. L.
Weston, Mrs. A. S. Moore. J. s. Hittell,
San Francisco; G. Z. Brown, Los Angeles
II. Dorr, Mexico; Miss A. Tuthill, Dun.
can MCPHERSON. w. Nowlan, Santa Ana f.
K. Krauth Alameda; VIM. Saunders, Wood
land; G. W. Gally. Watsonville; J. d.
Carr, j. w. Gsshwiler, Mr.. and Mrs. n. G.
Hawks, Miss Fannie Hawks, Miss Mary
Cogmore, Mrs. General Stoneman, 7. H.
Goodman and party, San francisco.
Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1881-03-17

a landlady in Louisville, KY, was so
importnnate in her demands that her sick
tenant sold his body to physician for dis
section FOR SIG, TO be paid the woman pro-
vided he died before the end of the month.
Tie Co,riey-Joerzai gays that he ig now
patiently awaiting death or recovery, but
should he linger on and not recover before
the time expires, there will no doubt be
lively scene when the monthly gatherer Of
rent-mo1ey calls.