Louisiana capitolian., 1881-11-12
You've FOOLS THAT MARRY.
peck's sap.

| Peck's Sun.
| An exchange has the following item
which may seom all right, but it viii
get some young fellows back broke
yet:
| "An Illinois justice has decided that
courting is o public necessity, and mus,
not be interrupted therefore il young
| man wanted to kissa girl he might put
| her father out of the room first if hs
| liked"
| The publication Of the above item
may cause some smart young man to dc
something be will regret. The lame,
sickly-looking father of a girl may come
into the parlor some night and find the
warm-halred youth OH the sofa with
the girl, and when the old man speaks
OF it being time to stop such nonsense,
the young man, with the above judicial
decision in his mind, will tell his pros
pective father-in-law to wipe off his
vest and go to bed. The old man will
then spit on his hands and grasp the
warm-hared young man by the county
seat and tie him up in double bow
knot, and pin scarf on him, and throw
him out on the path to the gate, and
then he will turn and slap the girl
across where the dress is pleated, and
she will 60 up stairs with her hand on
her heart, as it were, and the old man
will jump up and say, 'Whoopw The
young men of this country have got gall
enough about visiting girls in the eve
ming at their homes, without filing
their heads with any such ideas in re-
gard to their legal rights. There are
very few fathers who would quietly
submit to being told to go away by a
young man with a striped neck-tie and
pants too short at the bottom. These
sparkers are looked upon by parents
generally as nuisance, and often they
are right. Nine-tenths OF the sparkling
is done by boys who haven't got their
growth, and they look so green that it
is laughable for old folks tolook at them.
They haven't generally, got second
shirt, and they are no more qualified to
get married than steer Is to preach.
Yet marrying is about the first thing
they think Of. 4 green boy without a
dollar, present or prospective, sparkling
q girl regularly and talking about mar
rying, is a spectacle for gods and men.
He should be reasoned with, and if he
will not quit it until he is able to sup
port u wife, and to know who he loves,
and the difference between love and
passion, tie should be quarantined or
put in q convent erected on purpose for
such cases. Nine-tenths of the unhap-
Ply marriages are the result of green,
human calves being allowed to run at
large in the society pasture without any
yokes on them. They marry and have
children before they do moustaches;
they are fathers Of twins before they
are proprietors of two pairs ofpants, and
the little girls they marry are old wo-
men before they are twenty years old.
Occasionally one Of these gosling mar.
riages turn out all right, but it is clear
case Of luck. Ifthere was q law against
young galoots sparkling and marrying
before they have all their teeth cut, we
suppose the little cusses would evade it
in some way, but there ought to be
sentiment against it. 1t is time enough
for these bantams to think of finding
pullet when they have raised money
enough by their own work to buy
bundle OF laths to build hen house.
But they see a girl who looks cunning,
and they are afraid there is not going to
be girls enough to go around, and thea
they begin to get in their work real spry;
and before they are aware Of the sane
tity of the marriage relation they are
hitched for life, and before they own a |
cook stove OF bedstead they have to
get up in thenight and 60 after the doc I
tor, SO frightened that they run them
selves out Of breath and abuse the doc
tor because he does not run too; and !
when the doctor gets there he
finds that there is not enough lin !
en- III the house to wrap up doll |
baby. 1t is at about this time that
young man begins to realize that he has |
been a colossal fool, and as he fies 7
around to heat water, and bring in the
bath tub, and goes whooping after his
mother or her mother, he turns pale |
around the gills, his hair turns red in d
single night, and he calls high heaven to |
that if he 1iyaS till Yoorp;nn