The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1881-04-05

Bl,@l
TT was on day in June, during one OF
L these jaunts about town, that VIII
liam Smith found himself the central
figure of a group Of men and boys gath
cred before the barroom door of the
"Gentle Influence" hotel of long
standing In the village, and, perhaps by
reason of its seductive name, of great
popularity. The crowd, IL must be
confessed was mixed. 1t was also pecu-
liar. There was the usual staggering
air of inferior superiority, and indifier-
ence to bare feet and torn breeches.
There was the customary picturesque
apparel, and want of apparel, common
to those who cared little for what they
wore and less for what they did or said.
At the time of which write the gift of
loud speech was abundant in every small
community. One could get plain, EN-.
broidered and decorated specimens on
every street corner. And for glittering
streaks of unique diction choice assort-
ment was kept In every barroom. There
was therefore a generous supply of
vigorous speech; and invective, and
tobacco spit, flowed freely. There was,
furthermore, an originality in the con-
versation, albeit loud and profusely
copious, not often found in polite society,
and the expletives with which 1t was
fringed, embellished and ornamented
gave to the otherwise plain talk won
derful force and charm.
William stood in the midst of the
crowd apparently unconscious of the
din about him as he watched the face of
our old friend Col. Erastus s. Swampus
who was deeply interested in a news
paper. The Colonel suddenly broke
forth with an execration which silenced
even the crowd that stood there. He at
once began harangue, inimitable in its
way, upon the prevalence of crime, the
burden of which was the present de-
plorable scarcity of hangings. He held
the newspaper in his hand and brandish-
ed 1t wildly by way Of emphasis of his
views. His attitude promised a speech,
and circle soon formed about him to
enjoy the fun, for whether the Colonel
was sober and indignant or drunk and
excited did not clearly appear, and re-
quired always nice and penetrating
judgment to determine.
"Now here's q case," pursued the
Colonel, continuing his remarks and
striking the newspaper impressively with
his hand, "thet illustrates, er-my posi-
ton squarely, and proves, ,-er-in-er-c
elusive manner thet mankind is bad, and
womankind-er-de -demme-worse. Not
thet think it necessary to deplore the
condition of women," depreeatingly
observed the Colonel, with frightful
smile, fur the devil will get 'em any,
how; but I-er-confess to considerable
interest in the-er-fate of man. 1
would like to see, say one quarter of the
population hanged fur the good of the
three quarters left. Gentlemen, L tell
you the only way to make this world
good is to hang the wicked So long as
they live they will breed others like
'em, and not all the preachers on earth,
though each one of 'em should be filled
full of chicken up to the neck every day
of his life as long as he lives, will ever
he able to prevent the-er-demoraliza-
ton of society,-now you hear me !!
This ere case" continued the Colonel,
paternally, "shows 1 am right. Now
here was young man courtin' a female
woman, "A maiden of his species he
ruins the gal and-er-runs away. Then
when-er-his whereabouts is discovered
and she writes to him wot does he do p
Does he act fair by the woman as has
trusted him ? Does he stand by and
protect her as has loved him? No. He
does not. On the contrary,-now wot
do you s'pose on the contrary he does,
.elfp"
The Colonel turned sharply around
and looked upon his auditory, as he
asked the question, and stopped, but his
sweeping glance saw only open mouthed
wonder and suspense on the faces about
him. Proud Of talent which met such
unconscious and sincere recognition, he
smiled frightful smile, and continu
ed,-
"Wot does he do? Why he hires 6
fellow to do away with the girl. HI
sends the fellow fifty dollars and prom
ises him another fifty when the job Il
done. And the fellow is worthy too
of his employer and sets about to do hi
work. The fellow goes to the girl ant
tells her thet he is messenger from hel
sover, and thet he is to take her to SCI