The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1881-01-14
VARIETIES.

1t is difficult thing for n dog without a
tail to show his master how much he thinks
of him. Boston Post.
The man who capped the climax didn't
know it was loaded, or he wouldn't have done
it.-Boston Transcript
-"Oh, yesw said Harry, when in reading
novel, he came to the expression, "the one
poor lamp only served to make darkness
vlsible;" "Oh, yesl understand that. 1t
was in railroad car, of course"
Greedy grocer Ito farmers wife who is
supplying him with butter) "This pun o.
buther is over LIGHT, gudewife' Gudewife:
Blame yersep, then: weighed it wi thepun'
| sugar gat frae We yestreen."
This is nation of 5O,OOO,0 600 people, and
yet one little darkey with sore ears has kicked
up fuss which has made his name more
familiar than. that of any Vice President we
ever had-Detroat Free Press.
-"Well, you are the brightest goose ever
saw ~ exclaimed Jones to the partner ofhis
joy sand sorrows. And Mrs Jones'smiled upon
him with n seraphic smiles as she remarked,
"Oh Jones you are such aselfforgetful darl-
ing "-Boston Transcript.
MIR. Van Smith pointing towards couple
"just look Is it not perfectly absurd for
such boys TO go out?" Miss Rosebud Gnno-
cently)-"Why, that's a mirror, not door"
Crhe young man has not appeared in public
since. )-COlumbia Spectator
He is very small boy, just beyond the
limits of babyhood His precociousness is
well recognized by those who know him, and
sometimes people try to corner him in logi-
cal way. The other day some one took him
up and asked him ifhe was papa's boy. He
answered yes. Are you mammals boy, too?"
eyes" replied Charley. "Well how con
you be papa's boy and mammals boy both at
the same timer" was asked him. ooh"
replied Charley, indiferently, cant wagon
have two horses ?" That settled his ques-
toner.
There is q Judge in Galveston whose
head is as bald as that of an American eagle.
A little boy, living next door, has got it into
his head that lack of hair is inserarably con-
nected with the title of Judge, consequently
when lawyer, whose head is densely covered
with hair, called, and was addressed as
Judge" little Tommy shook his head and
said "You amt no Judge. Cant fool me-"
"Why am no Judge?" Zoos yer hair amt
parted wide enough" was the guileless reply.
-GaIGeS!On neacs.
PA, will you get me pair of skates if l
prove to you that dog has ten tails?"
eyes, my son."
"Well, one dog has one more tail than no
dog hasn't he ?"
Eyes"
"Well, no dog has nine tails and if one
dog has one more tail than no dog, then one
dog must have ten tails! Hand over the
skates, please"
Isn't it so?
Tile British Medical Journal says "a
Holstein peasant, uninstructed in micros-
copical research and not possessing the
requisite instruments Oppression, has devisd
for himself a new tese for the presence of
trachtnG in pork When he killed a pig he
was careful to send n portion of it-a ham or
q sausage-to his pastor, and then waited the
consequences for fourteen days. If his pas
tor remained healthy, then he felt perfectly
easy in his mind, and well assured that his
pig fulfilled the requisite conditions ofsound-
ness of food, proceeded to dispose of it ac-
cordingly in his own family. This ingenious
method of research has not been considered
satisfactory by the district physician"