Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1881-03-27
by giving lessons in

| - L began 10 Ieel SSItleC, ana wrote TO
Daisy, mixing quotations from Kent
with criticisms of the latest novel, and
gossipy chat about the place, people and
my hopes for the future. Il felt more
settled I said Il was glad to have
done with school and feel myself in the
world 1 spoke with pride of my pro-
fession, and was sanguine of success.
"Many letters followed this during the
summer. Some were as hopeful, others
Respondent. Some pretty hints were
thrown out. A little coquetting fol-
lowed. One little suggestion followed
another with great deliberation, before
any decided declarations of real feeling
were made. But it all came about at
last, and we understood each other.
SIT now began to seem to me that was
making slow progress. 1 got discour-
aged. I saw before me several years of
self-denial and close application to study
before could hope to build up pro-
fession such as I anticipated. I wrote
more and more discouragingly to Daisy,
but still the little woman chung to me
with cheerful hope. She was never
afraid of my abilities, never impatient
with waiting, and her quiet, indomitable
trust renewed my courage, as often as
found it wavering."
GA year soon slipped away and I grew
more impatient, more discouraged. I
fancied that was making little advance
ment, and was continually CALLED by the
thought that this lovely woman was
chnging to me, when, if she would let
me go, she might make for herself a brill
liant career in society; might arrange
her prospects for life so much more
satisfactorily. Little stories began to
reach my ears, that she was amusing
herself with all sorts of firtations. I said
to myself, that she was becoming tired
of me, as I was of myself. [ began to
speak deprecatingly of an engagement
that promised so little happiness. Daisy,
on her part, began to fancy that I was
becoming tired of her; that I was i'm
patient of the bonds with which / was
bound. A sort of formality and GOODNESS
Logan to creep into or correspondence.
A little iciness damped the affection
which had never before been marred by
an unkind thought or word. Every let
ter now widened the breach.
"Another haf-year passed and the
arrangement had become intolerable.
I had heard several stories of incon-
stancy on her part. At last I heard that
she was about to be married. Afterward
it seemed probable to me that these sto-
ries might have been started with
particular design that I should hear
them but no such thought occurred to
me at that time.
GO felt unwilling to let the matter go
further, and so I wrote Daisy, telling
her that it scarcely seemed possible that
our engagement would ever result in
anything satisfactory to either of us;
that did not believe, after all that had
taken place, that we could ever be happy
together, and requested her, if she
found it agreeable with her own feelings
and wishes, to release me.
"Ah, but you can have no idea o;
what that brief letter cost me I lovei
that woman with all the fire there was
in me. I still chung to the old love VITA
passionate longing, in spite. of the es-
tranged feelings which had sprung up
between us. All night I walked the
floor of my room, and again and again [
took up the note I had written, with the
thought of destroying it. How could 1
send it? How could [ give up deiiber-
ately all that made life or success dear
to me? It was a terrible struggle,
fight for self-mastery. AS daylight came
creeping through my window, I felt
more decided; and, lest my determiaa-
ton should finally give way, put on
my hat, sealed and stamped the letter,
and walked around to the postoffice and
dropped it into the box. As I retraced
my steps and felt the cool morning
breeze tanning my feverish face, il
seemed to me that my heart stood still
with awful loneliness. All the light and
Joy of life seemed to have vanished
ga week was like ali age to me before
I received brief note from Daisy, with
just these words You are free. [ send
you the ring which have SO long worn
for you. I have been foolish and incon-
slant, but I never willfully deceived
you. I have been SO tortured with
doubts and fears that [ have allowed
myself to give others, whom ought to
have repealed, too much reason to hope.
You have been so cold, and have spoken
so discouragingly, that I have felt
self hindrance to you, rather
than help. You placed an insurmount-
able barrier between us, and met my
love with such formaity that it chilled
my heart. But [ shall not plead
greater excuse. Forgive me if L have
seemed inconstant. God knows my
heart, and He knows that it has been
true and right Oh, darling! darling
I have loved you always, though my
heart has sometimes ached with such
bitter, lonely pain! Good-by, and may
God bless and prosper you
81 remember every word OF that let
ter it has burned its way into my men,
DRY. felt death-like pallor creeping
into my face, and knew it was with diff
Guilty that was able to breathe through
my clenched teeth. Again and again I
read the NOTIFYING to persuade my
self that it was as cold and formal as
my own. But I saw the truth as [ had
not known it before, and every word
brought singing reproach. The bit
ter and estranged feeling, which had
been corroding my heart for months, all
left me, and I shook with great, over
whelming grief. At one moment I
would resolve to write and try and undo
| l,oJ Loa,, Int ~, od tho