The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1881-07-29
Facts Concering Jay Gould.


the proprietor of the coming circus and
mcnagcric of that name, was picking his
teeth on the steps of the Russ house, u
tall, sun.burned, bald-headed man, with
pine burrs in his clothes and a stick of
sassafras in his mouth, approached and
said:
''Be you the wild animal man, mis-
teri"
The proprietor of the double Nam
moth Mastodon Aggregation, admitted
that such was the fact
"Then," proceeded the party from the
mountains, 81 think III get you to make
an offer for large sized healthy Cali
forny lion I've got"
"Good specimen, eh?" asked the circus
man.
"Good? Well l should say so. Meas.
ures eleven feet from the tip of his nose
to the tip of his tail. Caught him my
self when a cub Just four years old
tomorrow"
"Hum-Good appetite!"
"Appetite!--Great Scott-appetite!
Well, | should smile-that's Just the
point-tbat's just why I'm parting with
jay call him Jay Gould because he
takes everything in. If it wasn't for his
appetite, and the queer little things it
makes him do, wouldn't part with him
for fortune"
Savage, ehl"
"Well, no; / don't exactly know as |
could call Jay savage, exactly-sorter
nibbish though, may be. Hehas a kind
er habit of gnawing up things, so to
speak. In fact the neighbors-I live up
at Bladder's Peak-have gotten to be so
fussy and particular of late that cant
so much as unchain j. G. for little
fresh air without their getting grumpy
over it"
There's no pleasing some people"
said the hippodromer.
81 should say not. Now, frinstancc,
bout three months after Jay got to be
rs big as boarding house sofa, came
home one day from picnic and found
he had eaten up old Aunt Maria, who
had been left at home to mind the house
-leastwise she was nowhere to be found
and as Jay Gould seemed sort of bulgy
like, and kept coughing up hairpins and
false teeth for day or two, we kinder
suspicioned the whole thing"
'Maternal aunt?" inquired the show
man, thoughtfully.
EXACTLY. My wife took on dread
fully at first, and wanted me to shoot
Jay right off. But told her that he
probably suffered good deal as il was,
and that as most likely he'd catch rheu-
matism and things from the remains,
we'd better call it square"
"And did she?"
"Well, she kinder got reconciled after
awhile, especially as Jay seemed fond of
playing with the children. One morn
ing soon after that, my wife's mother
whole family lived with me, you see
didn't come down to breakfast As
all her false hair was hanging over a
chair back, and Gould crawled out from
under the bed licking his chops, and with
his tongue a good deal coated-mother
in-law was always taking things for the
liver complaint--we saw at once it was
another visitation of Providence, and
that the heavy hand of affiiction was
again upon MS
''Looked that way, didn't it?"
"Well, as you may suppose, the ole
lady-that's my wfe-pranced around {
good deal then, and got down the breech
loader right away. But just then ther,
arrived gold medal from the S. p. G
A. society, awarded on account of m,
forbearance in the Aunt Maria business
and so l got her calmed down afte
awhile"
''Pacified her, eh?'
eyes; l managed to ARRANGE re
prieve for Jay, somehow. You see
was always awful fond of pets and ten
der hearted and all that, youunderstand
l argued that the poor animal didn'
know that he was doing wrong-merci
full man is merciful to his beasts, etc. etc
That smoothed things over for anothe
month"
"Whst happened then7"
"Well, one day / sent Tommy, ou
youngest boy, down to the store fo
, some sugar, and he took Gould along fo
t company. Now, whether it was becaus
Jay was fond of sugar or not / don
, know, but he came home alone, and a
we noticed a kind of bulge on his ribs
, about as big as Tommy, we conclude
Z that the dread archer had marked anotf
er Skidmore-my name is Skidmore-fC
3 his own. The whole family took on lik
}. mad, and Mrs. Skid was about to shoy
the powder keg under J. &. and tonch
off herself, when | pointed ont that
, wouldn't do to desecrate our offspring
tomb in that way. So | iust had tn
burial service read over the lion and tie
s Grape around his neck for thirty day
e How does that strike youY"
g "After that you kept the anim
J, chained"
gl Well, no. The fact is set out to @,
e chain several times, but one thing an
G another prevented, until one day In
{, week actually missed the old lady he
/. self. l looked around for her for
= couple of days, when somehow of SUI
!, den | sorter intentioned where she wa
Y | gave Gould about half pound
n emetic right away, but all we could q
G out of him was a pair of high-heel,
d shoes and a chest protector 1t was t
IT late-too late! We put the shoes al
things in a coffin, and had Jay led b
hind the hearse to the cemetery. War
n ed to have as much of the corpse prese
a as possible don't you see, We had Il
st animal all decorated with flowers al
Is things, as fine as you please. Fol
Y, say it was the TOUGHEST thing that ev
D. took place in them parts, and the /
Ie reaved husband sighed heavily,
y 'Don't wonder you want to sell t
1T beast" remarked the menagerie man
a ter n pause.
is "Well.I sorter, do, and | sorter dom
NJ said Mr.. Skidmore, abstracledly. ether
N so many memories and things clusteli
e. around J. G.-seems kinder like pari
with ones burying lot, as it We're.
the other hand, though, now that the c
ne lady is gone, sorter feel as if the
~ sect had-well, had outlived his usef
sh ness 50 to speak. SO suppose just ha
Al. III \