Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1881-07-27
NO., II,
TABLE ETIQUETTE.

TABLE ETIQUETTE.
There are a great many people who
behave well otherwise, but al table they
do things that, if not absolutely outre
and ensemble, are at least pianissiimo and
sine die.
1t IS with a view of elevating the pop
u'ar taste and etherializing, so to speak,
the manners and customs of our readers,
that we give below few hints upon ia
bic etiquette
If by writing an article of this kind we
can induce one man who now wipes his
hands on the table cloth to come up and
take higher ground and wipe them on
his pants, we shall feel amply repaid.
If you cannot accept an invitation to
dinner Go not write your regrets on the
back OF pool check with blue pencil.
1hls IS now regarded as qlcochet.
A simple note to your host informing
him that your Washerwoman refuses to
relent is Sufficient.
On seating yourself at the table draw
off your gloves and put them in your lap
under your napkin. Do not put them in
the gravy, as it would ruin the gloves
and cast gloom over the gravy IF you
have just cleaned your gloves with ben
zine, you might leave them out in the
front yard
If you happen to drop gravy on your
knife blade, back near the handle, do not
run the blade down your throat to re-
move the gravy as it might injure your
epiglottis, and it is not considered embon-
point, anyway.
When you are at dinner do not take a
raw oyster on your fork and playfully
ask your host if it is dead. Remarks
about death at dinner are in very poor
taste.
Pears should be held at the stems and
peeled gently but firmly, not as though
you were skinning dead horse. 1t is
not bon ton.
Oranges are held on fork while being
pulled, and the facetious style of squirt
ing the juice into the eye of your hostess
is now an ieUOG.
Stones in cherries or other fruit should
not be placed upon the table-cloth, but
slid quietly and unostentatiously into
the pocket of your neighbor or noiselessly
tossed under the table.
If you strike worm in your fruit do
not call attention 70 it by smashing It
with the nut-cracker. This is not only
uncouth, but it is regarded in the best
society as 61ase and exceeding uice
UerSG.
Macaroni should be cut into short
pieces and eaten with an even graceful
motion, not absorbed by the yard.
In drinking Wine when you get to the
bottom of your glass do not throw your
head back and draw in your breath like
the exhaust Of bath tub in order to get
the last drop as it epgenders feeling of
the most epressing melancholy among
the guests.
After eating a considerable amount do
not rise and unbuckle your vest strap in
order to get more room, as it is exceed
ingly al fait and disha5i1le
If by mistake you drink out of your
fnger-bowl, laugh heartily and make
some facetious remark which will change
the course of conversation and renew the
friendly feeling among the members of
the party.
Ladies should not take but one glass of
wine at dinner Otherwise there might
be difficulty in steering the male portion
of the procession home.
Do not make remarks about the
amount your companion has eaten. If
the lady who is your company at table,
whether she be your wife or the wife of
some one else, should eat quite heartily,
do not offer to pay your host for his loss
or say to her, "Great Scott! I hope YOU
will not kill yourself because you have
the opportunity, but be polite and gen
tlemanly, even though the food supply
be cut off for week
IF one Of the gentleman should drop a
raw oyster in his bosom and he should
have trouble in fishing it out do not
make facetious remarks about it, but as
sist him to find it, laughing heartily all
the time.-Boomerang.