Smyrna times., 1881-07-13
WHOLE NO. 1853.
Current Comment,
PHILADELPHIA EVENING NEWS

why should lrOquis have been named
alter an Indian tribe. Iroqus is fast. but
the red man is Lo.
Miss Oakley in new book sovs. s.Tbo
onIect OF dress is to emphasize beauty
She should have added and conceal ugl-
ness.
An English marquis who hOrsewhipped
a lord has been fined 500 pounds. Being
a marquis probably saved him from hoin1
hung.
New Orleans merchants have more faith
IN one old horseshoe over the door than
in column advertisement in daiIv
paper.
TO be in the fashion every man must
appear on the streets in hat which look.
as If 1t had been stolen from some SIM.
day-schOOl boy.
There being 10 telegraph wires between
Philadelphia and New York the Gotbo-
mites manage to keep posted on what is
going on in the world
Fennor is only Al, yet he pretends 70
Know more about the weather than old
farmers who have been studying goose
bones for eighty years.
Faure's electric box of stored ENERGY
must resemble little black-eyed woman.
the chief difference being that the force in
the box can be controlled.
Scientists assert that an angleworm on
hshhook suffers no pain. We now un-
derstand whythey squirm sO-they merely
want to take little exercise.
The authorities at Washington will con-
fer favor on the community bv giving
Gulteau toy pistol to amuse himself
with during his confinement.
JOurnalismisthe only profession in which
one mans place cannot be exactly filed
by another one. The will either
fail to fill it or more than fill it.
A Pittsburg man left pint of brandy
where his little son found and drank it.
and from the effects of which he died.
He has gone into deep mourning for the
lost brandy.
Lynch law should always be deprecated,
and had Guiteau never reached Jail alive
we should have Indignantly and steadast-
ly denounced every attempt to raise funds
to treat the lynchers
In the revised Testament the passage
And he was naked" is rendered "He
had on his undergarment only" This is
to show that he was not reckless enough
to leave off his liver pad.
Thousands of new French fiat houses
are going up in New York, and are to be
rented to reliable couples who will sign
contract not to have any children until
the term of lease expires.
The boy who hurts cat can be arrested,
but owners of fine teams can torture their
horses with tight reins to make them
hold their heads stylishly high, all the
year round, and no one interferes.
Cultivate a tendency to bake things too
much rather than too little, until you
learn to strike the happy mean and get
= them just right.-IoWd State Register. Old
f Sol seems to be acting on that suggestion
, just now.
4 If they can photograph n comet going
l at the rate of million miles an hour
= without squeezing its head between two
iron prongs, why can't they photograph
man in the same way when he sits as still
as mouse.
: The toy pistol is provided against by a
y law recently passed by the Pennsylvania
h Legislature A severe fine is imposed
upon all dealers who sell any sort of e1-
9 plosives to persons under sixteen years of
: age. This is good season of the year to
q have this act enforced.
|, This country is an asylum for the Op-
: pressed, but it is not lunatic asylum,
n and the sooner the authorities recognize
;. this fact the better. Recent terrible events
:, prove that we can raise more crack-brain-
i ed villains here than we can watch, with
out continuing to import them.
j., A Philadelphia judge has decided that
b if q passenger is hurt by stepping from a
horsecar before it comes to stop, DANA
= ges cannot be recovered from the company.
! En-. Very true; but who ever heard OF
a conductor stopping car to let any
member of the male sex either on or Oft.
l. Minnesota promises to send 45,OOO,OOC
It bushels of wheat to market this year.
Part of this will go abroad and be trans
formed into delicious French rolls and
t. Vienna loaves. Most of the remainder
ot will be made up at home and help to
5. keep the vendors of dyspepsia cures out
e of the poorhouse.
: "The trouble is" said Nantucket
landlord, who was disposing of guests,
that everybody wants windows looking
all over the creation. ."-Hdrttord POSt
W That is simply the landlords way OF ex-
% planning that some people are not satisfied
k with one window looking into another
N window three feet distant.
IS Three wears ago st. Julian the great
)" Californian trotter was unknown, the
,o,oo n,ov he said of Kendall's SPAWN