davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1881-12-07

CARBoLINE, a deodorized extract of petroleum,
cures badness. This is a positive fact, attested
by thousands. BOTHER hair preparation in the
world will really do this. Besides, as now i'm
proved, it is a delightful dressing.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1881-12-07
ness It has no equal.

No discovery since the introduction of vacci-
nation has equalled in Importance that of ab-
sorption as illustrated in DR.. HoLMAN's' LIVER
PAD. 1t is the best Liver and Stomach Regu-
lator of this century.
DR.. Holman's Liver Pad courts investigation.
1t conquers prejudice. All live druggists keep
them. Get Pad More than 100000 living
witnesses bear testimony to the efficacy of DIR.
HOLMAN's LIVER PAD,
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1881-12-07
On Thirty DAYS, Trial.

The Voltaic Belt Co., Marshall, Mich, will
send their Electro-Voltaic Belts and other Elec-
trio Appliances on trial for thirty days to any
person afflicted with Nervous Debility. Lost
Vitality, and kindred troubles, guaranteeing
complete restoration of vigor and manhood.
Address as above without delay.
P. S.-No risk is incurred, as 80 days trial is
oil
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1881-12-07

The quantity of cotton manufactured
in the United States in 1880 was, in
round numbers, $50, 900 pounds; in
Great Britain, l, 400, 900, 900 pounds.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1881-12-07
THE C0UMTRYMAN
IN THE
Weather Signal Office.

!NH ME Mr.. Jeremiah Toadvine, of the rural
lA==Agy district, brought letter of introduc-
YE~1 ton to the United States Signal Off
iHNA Ger, and by the latter gentleman was
" shown the beautiful scientific lnStru-
mentS for measuring and determining
~T the various changes and conditions
Hai II ofthe weather Pointing to the stand
Ekl ard thermometer he explained to Mr.
Igi5lEE II T. the uses of the heat gauge where
4 Iml II upon Mr. T. anxfously inquired if he
IleoiR hadn't nuther un to spare-sich
r33i NE nice merch1ne to sOt the weather in
|sIEl haydn and harvest time" His inspec-
H0l III ton OF the barometer or wind measurer
.IEE evoked the expression: Wouldn't
sol she be the racket to run the wind
I.4BE mill with. The barometer was
nolEI one too many for Toadvine, and, look
,AEF ing queerly at the official as if he
|"Ia were utterly nonplussed and bank
loojkf rupt OF words, said: Friend, did you
tal lever have the reumatis?" The
sol 1T abruptness of the question surprised
iii the officer, who replied, "No-never"
sol Or WHAT Evidently recollecting
tEl himself, Mr.. T. stopped on the ragged
I101 HF edge OF the threadbare remark, and
IEI said: Il only wanted to know, for if
sol aF this trap (pointing to the barometer)
thl shows the good an bad weather afore
sdKF it's time, it would be bully trap for
IMI people with reumatis; thew could
IsoI HI flank it every time. Up my country
tnI when folks has it they use ST. JACOBS
lsot nj OIL. an, lisa powerful argument agin
,dHE II fight every time" With thanks for
IEI the unexpected information, the Off
nj nj cial politely turned Mr.. Toadvine
THI over to the usher to show him to the
iG7kF street car, while he looking over his
| hi paper. read: Mrs. T. A. Gist, No.
lot Ut III 1904 Walnut street, Philadelphia, Pa,
IHt writes: / had infiammatory rheuma-
/ aoE ut tism very badly. In one footand ankle
lEE it seemed to have taken hold with the
'olA determination to stay. and the morn
All ing l obtained the ST. JACOBS OIL l
| Hi could not put my foot down to the
MI III floor, even for an instant. I used it
oefkI that evening for the first time, and the
AL next morning for the second time,
yEl Il and that afternoon put my foot down
kZkANp for several minutes. On the Sunday
q ! 4: ! ]. !
II l--T-rfal following 1 could stand up and walk
iii iItAFH a few steps. On Tuesday could walk
I'LL | lI0HiEM about my room and went down stairs
Tll INHHlN by holding on to the banisters. Now
Itl lHIHIHs ! can walk quite well and there is
HI lIIIM very little pain left. Just think! one
III lllHIBD bottle and half and am almostfree
from paint 1t is q wonderful medicine.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1881-12-07

No man knows what ministering angel his
wife is until he comes home one day suffering
with dreadful Cold and she happens to have
bottle of DR.. Bulls Cough Syrup in the house.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1881-12-07

Young and middle-aged men suffering from
nervous debility, premature old age, loss of
memory, and kindred symptoms, should send
three stamps for part VII. of pamphlets issued
by Worlds Dispensary Medical Association,
Buffalo, N. Y.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1881-12-07

A PHILADELPHIA debating society has
decided that on frosty mornings buck
wheat cakes are superior to liver pads.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1881-12-07

FoR Rheumatism, Sprains and Bruises, use
Uncle Sans Nerve and Bone Liniment, sold by
all druggists.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1881-12-07

1t has wonderful power on bowels. liver and
kidneys! What? Kidney-Wort.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1881-12-07

A NEGRO walked forty eight miles t.
see circus at Selma, Ala.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1881-12-07

A START for a Pennsylvania deed
know oil men by these presents.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1881-12-07

THE town of Hartford, Conn.,, has
voted 500, 900 for a monument to the
soldiers and sailors of the late war.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1881-12-07

THERE is one town in Connecticut that
has no fear of the measles. It's Had
dam.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1881-12-07

For DYSPEPSIA, INDIGESTION, depression Of
spirits and general debility in their various
forms, also as preventive against fever and
ague and other intermittent fevers, the FERRo
PHosPHoRATED ELIXIR OF CAL1sAYA BARK, made
by Caswell, Hazard q Co., New York, and sold
by all druggists, is the best tonic: and for
patients recovering from fever or other sick
ness II has no canal
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1881-12-07
That Terrible

indigestion and Sick headache will yield readil,
to Warmers Safe Kidney and Liver Cure.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1881-12-07
FUNNYGRAPHS.

DIoGENEs sought for an honest man,
Sought him but couldn't find him;
We look as vainly now for man
Who will shut the door behind him.
= DafhIis Go,ooo soa
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1881-12-07
HROugh ON Rats.o
RESCUED FROM DEATH.

Ask Druggists for it. 1t cleans out rats, mice,
reaches, bed-bugs, flies, vermin, insects. 15c.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1881-12-07

CHING RevOlvers. Catalogue free. Address
VO ND Great West. Gun Works, Pittsbu Pa
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1881-12-07

A GENTS WANTED for the Best and tastes
IL Selling Pictorial Books and Bibles, Prices reduce
SO cent NATIONAL PUBLISHING Co.. Chicago 1
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1881-12-07

d esident Agents wanted in every town. For par
IL tlcuars address DR. FULLER, 429 Canal St., N. Y.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1881-12-07

oNTH-sGEkTs WANTED-9O best
selling articles n the world Issmple freq
PF8OSS Address Jay Bronson. Detroit2 Eiak
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1881-12-07

Gee week IN your town. Terms and IS outfit
tDOU free Address ii. HALLETT d Go. Portland, Me
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1881-12-07

FORTUNE FOR AL. No h t ~ Satisfaction
for full inform alton Address Box Sc, Huntingdon Pa
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1881-12-07

YOUNG mem # you would learn Teie leg " IN
situation, address VALENTINE Bros, GAINESVILLE, WIS
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1881-06-02
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Josh Billings says he has never known
a sekund wife but what was boss of the
situashun.
"Will the coming man fy?" He
probably will when the coming woman
gets after him.
The Detroit Free Press advises you to
make weather predictions if you want
to be talked about.
The Rochester Democrat hears Of
couples being married on the run. Old
man after them with a shotgun, per-
haps.
We know man so near-sighted that
he can't recognize creditor when he
passes one on the street.-ReObuk Gate
City.
Soldiers are always the most adept
lovers, because they learn how to pre-
sent arms and salute.-Baltimore Ere,y
SATURDAY,.
This is his first season on farm, and
he has planted ten acres with tomato
cans. He expects the ground will pro-
duce heavy crop OF canned tomatoes.
philadelphia Chronicle.
A horse died in Campton, N. H., the
other day in whose stomach was found
fifty shingle nails and pieces OF hoop
iron. Indigestion is the curse of our
modern civilization.-LOoosHC Citizen.
OF all sad words of tongue or pen,
The.saddest are these Have you ten ?"
--KeOkuE Constitution.
OF all sad words of tongue or pen,
| The saddcst are these: "We haven't ten."
-!TeubeHrHle Herald.
Can anybody tell us why woman,
emerging from crowded car, always
makes believe she is going to get out
at one side of the platform, until two or
three men have jumped off in the mud,
and then steps off at the other side. :?
She always does it; and we want
to know the reason why.-Philadephid
Bulletin
The young folks will never be en-,
tlrely resigned to the introduction Of
the electric light into private residences
until some means of turning it down
are invented and applied. AS it now
is, you must have the full blaze ol
Egyptian darkness. The latter is moi
exactly proper, and the former, for OBJ
vious reasons, will never do.-ElecateG
Rdilray journal.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1881-06-02
WISE WORDS.

A mans good breeding is the best
security against other peoples ill man
ners.
Darkness, solitude and remorse are
grim and hateful company.
Those who hope for no other life are
dead even for this.
Great truths are generally bought,
not found by chance.
Do that which is assigned you, and
you cannot hope too much or dare too
much.
1t is great pity that some people
grow bitter as they grow old. 1t seems
as though the more teeth they lose the
more they want to bite.
There are men in the world who
never make use of their opportunities.
They couldn't weigh the chances of sue
cess if they had as many scales as
| fish.
In seasons of adversity some men
bear up under the stress of circum-
stances, while others beer up. The
principal difference is seen in the purse
and on the nose.
You often gain more knowledge from
a shrewd though illlterate man than
from pedantic scholar; there is gen.
orally more nourishment in a mess of
oatmeal porridge than in costly pud-
ding.
Ifyou are wise man you will treat the
world as the moon treats it. Show it only
one side of yourself, seldom show your
self too much at time, and let what
! you show be calm, cool and polished
: But look at every side of the world.
Oaths are vulgar, senseless, offensive
/ and impious; they leave a noisom'
trail upon the lips and stamp odiun
' upon the soil. They are inexcusable
: They crafty no sense, while they out
: rage taste and dignity.
: There is no place in the wide worl'
/ like home. 1t is the dwelling place {
K our hearts treasure, and the first of ou
j. lives we owe to it and its inmates. L
d make it pleasant and attractive shoul
be the aim of every man.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1881-06-02
The Nihilistic Organization.

1t is found impossible for the Rus
sian government to get into the Nihilis-
tic circle, the Nihilists being too loyal
to one another, too well informed and
too intelligently organized. For in
stance, the government has learned that
one of the rules of the Nihilists is that
every member shall return to his lodg-
ings every twelve hours, when one of
his companions pays him a visit to see
if all is right. When the visit of the
inspector is made, if the lodger is absent,
it is concluded that he has been arrested,
and the inspector makes away with
everything of a compromising nature.
The same rule forbids any Nihilist
arrested to tell his name or address un-
til twenty-four hours pass. The dis
covery of this rule was made by the
police in the case of Isaieff. No tor
ments could draw from him his name OF
address until the day after his arrest,
when he gave both. The police went
to his house and found nothing but a
small pile of ashes before Isaieff's fire,
place. The discovery of this rule only
tends to increase the governments dis
may at the completeness of the danger
surroundi g it, as, in order even to find
out who the Nihilist inspectors are, il
would have to ascertain the identity o.
every man found making visit.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1881-06-02
How Russian EXiles Live.

On his arrival the prisoner is driven
straight to the police ward, where he
is inspected by police officer who is
absolute lord and master of the district.
This representative of the government
requires of him to answer the following
questions: His name? How old? Mar
ried or single? Where from? Address
of parents or relations or friends? An
swers to all which are entered in the
books. A solemn written promise is
then exacted of him that he will not
give lessons of any kind, or try to teach
any one; that every letter he writes
will go through the ispravnik's hands,
and that he will follow no occupation
except shoemaking, carpentering or
field-labor He is then told that he is
free-but at the same time is solemnly
warned that should he attempt to pass
the limits of the town he shall be shot
down like dog rather than be allowed
to escape, and should he be taken
alive shall be sent off to Eastern Siberia
without further formality than that of
the ispravnik's personal order.
The poor fellow takes up his little
bundle, and fully realizing that he has
now bidden farewell to the culture and
material comfort of his past life he
walks out into the cheerless street. A
group of exiles, all pale and emaciated,
are there to greet him, take him to
some of their miserable lodgings and
| feverishly demand news from home.
The new. conner gazes on them as one in
dream; some are melancholy mud,
Others nervously irritable, and the re-
mainder have evidently tried to find
solace in drink. They live in commu-
mites of twos and threes, have food, a
scanty provision of clothes, money and
books in common, and consider it theil
sacred duty to help each other in every
emergency, without distinction of sex
rank or age. The noble by birth gel
sixteen shlllings month from govern
ment for their maintenance, and com
moners only ten. Winter lasts eigh
months, a period during which the sur
rounding country presents the appear
ance of a noiseless, lifeless, frozel
marsh-no roads, no communication
with the outer world, no means O
escape. In course of time almost ever
individual exile is attacked by nervou
commissions, followed by prolonge
apathy and prostration. They begin t
quarrel, and even to hate each Other
: Some of them contrive to forge falls
passports, and by miracle, as 1t wer'
make their escape; bnt the greater mi
jority of these victims of the Third Sc,
tion either go mad, commit suicide {
) die of delirium tremers.
L
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1881-06-02
NO. Is.
The Skein we Wind.

If you and I, to-day,
Should stop and lay
Our lifc-worl down, and let our hands fal
where they will
Fall down to lie quite still
And ifsome other hand should come, and stoop
to find
The threads we carried, so that it could wind,
Beginning where we stopped; if it should come
to keep
Our life-work going; seek
To carry on the good design
Distinctively made yours, or mine,
What would it find2
Some work we must be doing, true or false;
Some threads we wind; some purpose 80 exalts
Itself that we look up to it, or down,
As to crown
TO bow before. ai,S ae weave threads
Of different lengths and thckness-some mere
shreds-
And wind them round
Till all the skein of life is bound,
Sometimes forgetting at the task
To ask
The value of the threads, or choose
Strong stuff to use.
No hand but winds some thread;
1t cannot stand quite still till it is dead
But what it spins and winds a little skein.
God made each hand for work-not toil-stain
Is required but every hand
Spins, though but ropes of sard.
If love should come,
STOPPING above when we are done,
To find bright threads
That we have held, that it may spin them longer
find but shreds
That break when touched, how cold,
Sad, shivering, portionless, the hands will hold
The broken strands and know
Fresh cause for woe.
George K Jingle
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1881-06-02
The Idyl of the Baggage Man.

With many curve the trunks 1 pitch,
With many a shout and sally;
At station, siding, crossing, switch,
On mountain grade or valley.
1 heave, l push, sling, 1 toss,
With vigorous endeavor;
And men may smile, and men may grow cross,
But sling my trunks forever,
Everl Ever
l bust trunks forever.
The paper trunk from country town
balances and dandles;
l turn it once or twice around,
And pull out both the handles.
And grumble over travelling bags
And monstrous sample cases,
But 1 can smash the makers brags
Like plaster paris vases
They hollcr, holIcr, as / go,
But they can't stop me never;
For they will learn just what know,
A trunk won't last forever!
Ever Never
And in and out wind about,
And here smash kiester;
I turn grip-sack inside out
Three times day at least, sir;
tug, jerk l swear, Isweat,
toss the light valises;
And what's too big to throw, you bet,
I'll fire it round in pieces.
They murmur, murmur, everywhere,
But will heed them never
For women weep and strong men swear,
I'll claw their trunks forever
Ever Ever
I'll bust trunks forever,
I've cowed the preacher with my wrath.
scon the iudZe's erminc;
I've spilled both brief and sermon,
And books, and socks, and cards, and strings
Too Numerous to mention;
And babies clothes and women's things,
Beyond my comprehension,
I've spilled, and scattered, and slung
As far as space could sever;
And scatter, scatter, old or young,
I'll scatter things forever!
Everl Ever
Scatter things forever
r.. j. Btrdete.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1881-06-02
Religious News and Notes.

San Francisco has 10 churches of all
denominations.
The recent statistics of the Wesleyan
Methodist gives summary OF 92,527
members, with 10,SS5 on probation.
They sustain 519 missionaries, and have
raised for this purpose this last year
about $500, 900. They raised for the
theological schools about $4,000, and
for home missions and other purposes
$685. more. They have 6,676 Sun
day-schools in Great Britain alone, with
7S7, 1873 scholars.
The colored Baptists in the United
States number about 100000.
The American Baptist Missionary
Union closed its financial year with a
debt of less than $4,000. The Home
Mission society will carry over debt
of $4,000.
The report of the Illinois Sunday
school association states that there are
6,3l6 Sunday-schools in illinois, with a
total membership of 553,390 and 49,
40 in regular attendance.
An evangelist exclaimed in Spring
field, Mass, few nights ago: "If any
of the churches are too nice for pool
people, 1 hope God will strike then
down with lightning|
The west front of st. Adams Abbey
England, is to be restored at an esti
mated cost of $l25,000.
The Presbyterians have decided t.
old Sunday y-school assembly at AS
bury Park, N. j., commencing Angus
~, 1881, under the auspices of tn
committee on Sunday-schools of In
synod of New Jersey.
The 3S2, ,92O Congregationalists in tn
United States gave last year for their re
ligious work 1892, 922.24, or an aver
age of nearly so per member.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1881-06-02

Utah is just now the chosen field for
considerable Christian missionary work
There are forty-four Presbyterian mis-
sionaries in the Territory, maintained at
an annual cost of S36, 1000, the Congre-
gationalists are spending $4,000 in new
schoolhouses and churches, the Meth
odists have twenty missionaries on the
ground and other denominations are
represented. These tremendous on
slaughts have melted the Mormons to
renewed zeal.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1881-06-02
FACTS AND COMMENTS.

A Colorado Judge recently cleared a
desperate who had committed foul
murder, but the crowd hanged the rascal
from the courthouse window and told
the Judge that the next time he let o
murderer go they would hang him.
Thereupon his honor promptly sentenced
three other murderers to be hanged.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1881-06-02

We hear of man who justifies his
meanness toward his wife by asserting
that he and she are one, and, therefore,
by refusing to furnish her money he
practices the heroic virture of self
denial.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1881-06-02

When baseball club is beaten with
out making run they are said to be
"whitewashed," but we notice they
generally look pretty black all the
same.-BoSton Commercial
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1881-06-02

The czar of Russia rules over an I'M
dermined empire, and occasionally some
portion of the explosive elements, crop
ping out of the surface, is observed.
This is the real significance of the Incl
dent of the other day, when a mine of
gunpowder was found under stone
bridge at steamer landing in st.
Petersburg. The arrest of a couple of
naval lieutenants at Cronstadt for alb
stracting dynamite from the imperial
stores only shows how slight hold the
czar has on his own picked officers.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1881-06-02

In the Nineteenth Century Mrs. Burr
advocates a reform in dealing with the
problem of crime which deserves care
full consideration aud which will COM
mend itself to common sense on this
side of the Atlantic as we'll as on the
other She points out the fact which
both moralists and novelists have en-
phasized before this, that the seeds of
crime are sown in young hearts before
boys and girls have reached their teens,
and that to leave little children to grow
up under circumstances which almost
drive them into pilfering and then pun
ish them because they become thieves
is at once an injustice and folly. She
proposes to cut off the supply of our
prisons, and even of our reform schools,
by putting the street Arabs under ten
years of age into homes no one of which
should contain more than fifty or sixty
children, who should be under the
charge of carefully instructed matrons,
and should be clothed, fed and properly
trained, and eventually provided with
places where healthful and productive
industry would become possible fol
them.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1881-06-02

Always willing to give his no!e-The
music teacher.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1881-06-02

Some of the Nihilists, who are known
as Federalists," have drawn up
scheme of reorganization which they
propose to bring forward after the de-
struction of the present political regime.
According to this scheme Russia would
be split up into number of small free
states, which would only be connected
with each other by congress and
president, like the United States of
America. Small and sell. governing
states are, they say, the primitive forms
of Russian political life; it was only
Ivan the Terrible and hissuccessor who,
with the help of the Tartars, created
the present centralized and autocratic
empire. Such scheme would, it is be-
l;cved, find favor with many members of
the constitutional party, who feel the
difficulty of governing a nation of So
100000 of people by single central
parliament, and also with some of the
old Russians" who dream of establish
ing, in opposition to the civilization of
the West, an improved civilization based
on the institutions of ancient Russia.