The Wellington enterprise. [volume] (Wellington, Ohio) 1867-188?, 1881-11-30
The Clock Disease.

1t Is natural that q man should take a
warm interest in his watch; that he
should palliate or deny its faults, and
ascribe to it an accuracy which it rarely
possesses. This regard for ones own
watch is essentially the same passion as
love for ones country. A man is pa
triot not because his native land is bet
ter than any other land, but because it
Is his native land. He loves his watch
not because it is necessarily a good
watch, but because it Is his personal
property. Which passion is the strong
er-love of country or love of watch
only bold man would venture to de-
eide.
The habit of wearing a watch has its
disadvantages, though they are of no
great consequence. II a man has a
really good watch he Is apt to exhibit
his pride in a rather oppressive way,
and to become unpleasantly sef.right-
eous. He invariably convinces himself
that the accuracy of his watch is some
thing that is greatly to his credit, and
that it renders him morally better than
other men. By some curious process
he comes to consider the accuracy Of
his watch as one of his own moral quail
tiles, ranking at least as high as honesty
or veracity. Thus he never replies,
when asked what is the time, "My
watch says that it is 9 O'Clock, :" or what
ever the hour may be, but his invariable
answer is, ''I am 9 o'clock" There
can be no doubt that the watch-owner
really looks upon his watch as one of
his bodily organs, and he resents any
imputation that may be made upon it as
testify as he would resent the suggestion
kl,f Lso 1x,, 1sooaon1 Hok l.
liver is out of order.
These results of Woodworking are
trivial in comparison with the painful
and sometimes terrible results that fol-
low too great familiarity with clocks.
The existence of a well-defined disease,
named by its discover, DIR. Charles I.
Mendax, n70r6Hs horoIogesGs, has recent
ly been demonstrated, and its origin
and nature thoroughly defined. 1t seems
strange that the watch should be
comparatively harmless in its effects,
while clock, which is machine of es-
sentially the same nature, should pro-
duce a painful and dangerous disease,
but we are compelled to yield to the
force of DIR. Mendax's reasoning, and
to admit the deleterious influence Of
clocks.
The first symptom of the clock dis.
ease Is a desire on the part of the pa
tient to provide himself with an unnec-
essary quantity of clocks. 1t will not
do TO say that the disease originates in
an excess of clocks, for the first symp-
tom manitests itself prior to the buying
by the patient of his second clock, and
his subsequent prodigality in clocks is
purely symptomatic. Usually he buys
three or four clocks within the first six
months of his attack, and within year
he provides every room in his house
with its especial clock. Thus far the
one symptom which has manifested
itself is regarded by all who know the
afflicted man as harmless, or, at worst,
merely as piece of childish extraya-
gance. When, however, he has bought
all the clocks that his house will readily
hold, the virulence of the disease rapid.
ly increases.
The unfortunate man soon begins tc
try to make all his clocks keep exact
time. OF course, this Is impossible, but
in his diseased state he does not recog
nize the impossibility. He fancies thai
If he sets the parlor clock back little
and puts the hands of the spare-roon
clock forward, and shortens the pendu
lum of the dining-room clock, he car
secure unanimity among them. Hi
constant failures do not discourage him
but only induce him to give more time
and attention to bis clocks. He Is con
stantly sending this or that clock to tht
watchmaker's to be cleaned, and ht
spends hours in wandering from room
to room testing his clocks, and trying tC
regulate them. In this vain pursuit ht
neglects his business and depriyes him
1 - Na ha0ini
to suffer. He becomes irritable and vii
tolerate ON the part of his family o.
friends no illusions to the bad qualitie!
of any of hi. clocks. No matter in wha
he may be engaged, the striking of ,
clock win instantly cause him to jump
up and run to regulate q deinquen
time-piece. The day comes when eithe
the miserable man sinks into profound
melancholy and takes to his bed, nevel
again to leave it, or his friends are com
| PEELED to remove him as hopeless lun
attic to an insane asylum.
Such is the clock disease. 1t is in
duced, according to DIR. Mendax, by thu
regular and monotonous ticking d tn,
ordinary clock. This sound exercises
peculiar and injurious influence upol
the nerves, and through the nerves upol
the brain. Thus while the clock diseas
often produces hopeless insanity, it i
not primarily brain disease, but be
longs to that great family of neryou
diseases which are the curse of on
country and the despair of doctors. Th
remedy is, of course, the complete iso
lation of the patient from clocks, and ;
course of medical treatment adapted b
soothe and strengthen the nerves. 1t i
probable that in its early stages the dis
ease can be cured by skillful treatment
but when once the patience has bough
half dozen clocks and lived for
month or two in their presence, hi
radical cure is very nearly hopeless
Nel1 York Times.