davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-22
The Reyised Yersion.

Rev. DIR. Collyer, Henry Ward Beecher,
DR.. Talmage and several Episcopal bishops
have had their say about the revised YER
sion of the New Testament, but all have
failed to touch the point made by the
Jerish World, newspaper published in Lor-
don. Its criticism concludes as follows:
The vast majority of Christians rarely rea..-
ize that the New Testament is Greek
book, and that the version they revere is
but rendering from another tongue. Tex
tual criticism and differences of interpre-
tation, the relative authenticity ofdiffercnt
readings, are matters of which they have
heard nothing. The new revision will bring
home to them the many imperfections of
the book they have almost worshiped. It
will place it before them in the same position
as any other literary work of former times.
1t will force upon their convictions the fact
that it requires treatment like other ancient
documents, criticism aud emendation and
and omission; that there are contradictory
versions and ireconcilable differences that
there are words which, il is admitted, have
been left out, yet have good claim to be
kept in. Christians will find that sayings
hallowed by the dearest associations of
youth and age, joy and suffering; phrases
that have Embedded themselves in their
literature; supposed utterances of Jesus
himself, are not even found in authoritative
copies of the original. The revision will
raise vague doubts, distractions and uncom-
Portable notions which can never again be
allayed. In brief, the book hitherto sur
rounded as by halo of divinity is reduced,
by the mere fact that it admits of criticism,
to the level of an ordinary work that can
be compared and revised and amended.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-22
The Punishment Of Assnssins.

Nothing shows in a more marked degree
the great change which time and more
liberal intelligence have caused in the pub
lie mind respecting the punishment of
criminals than the swift and terrible pur-
ishments which have been melted out to as
sassins in the past. In 1884 William of
Orange, the liberator of Holland, was assas-
sinated by Gerard, who was a Catholic ia
natic and emissary of the Spanish Govern
ment. He represented himself Huguenot
refugee, and thus gained access to the prince,
whom he shot as he was leaving the dinner
table. The victim lived but few minutes
The murderer, who was not of sound mind,
was condemned to the most barbarous death.
His right hand was burned of with red
hot iron and his flesh was torn from his
bones with pincers in six different places.
He was quartered and disemboweled alive,
his breast was torn from his bosom and fuug
in his face, and finally his head was cut off.
He sustained this frightful ordeal with
perfect calmness 49,
In 1879 Spencer Percival, the Chancellor
of the British ExclDquer, was. shot by q
man named BellinghAm as he was passing
into the House 0fs4 ,0mHaDs. He was ar.
rested and confessed tho crimes, He had
lost money in foreign spcculations, and con-
ceived that the government was in fault.
After brooding over this matter for long
time he committed the murder. The man
was tried, convicted and hung within eight
days. 1t was found that he was insane but
1t came too late to save the man.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-22
sayipes or No,ob,e Mon.


Come, let us swap jokes. Mat Carusi.
=" makes mashes as profession. -
John Lyons.
There's nothing like pie for lunch -
Jim Croggin.
81 can't run fast, but Treadwcll. -
Charley Godfrey.
81 would not live all weight. -
Charley Hertzog.
Sammy Tilden is still my candidate"
john L. Norris.
=" A burnt child breads the fire. Little
Tommy Toy-Pistol.
"Oh that this too too solid flesh would
melt. Charley Dunlap.
-"What is wanted by men is not talent,
but purpose."-Col. Pinchover
ga man who would make pun would
pick pocket."-E. Tucker Blake.
-"What, Navarro p"-Henry the Fourth
of France. (Assassinated for the crime).
--"Pll coin my hearts blood but that I'll
make both ends meet."-Trcasure Gilfillan
-"When Greek meets American then
gapes tho workhouse door. DR.. Tachmyn-
EVERY bullet has its billet somewhere,
If not in the target."-Sergeant Billy Har-
rison.
-"Sir, Standardization is the essence of
Democracy, and don't you forget Tx
Speaker Randall.
The hotel clerk is prosecuted mortal.
He is expected to know everything, do
everything, take everything, stand and un-
derstand everything, and be everything to
everybody every time."-Ben Shekels.
-"Though live at Hyattsville,
And there to live am willin'
Though live at Hyattsville,
I'm nota terrible Hyattsvillain.
Sebastian Aman.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-22
No Use Chiseling.

ohu rruncbcO fObt
The other day while old Skidmore was
strolling through the Odd Fellows cemetery,
he came to what was evidently new inclOs-
ure, over the railing of which bald headed
man was leaning and gazing, with what
might be called lively resignation, at a
simple marble slab in the centre. This
stone bore the somewhat curt inscription !:
" Here lies Jane b. Ditfey, aged A." "Rel-
alive of yours 2" said old s., pausing sym
pathetically. "Wife,," explained IL .
widower, with beaming smile "got her
under yesterday week at 4:15 p. M" Skid
more was disguised at the mans cheerful
ness, so he said: "Well, if it was my wife,
seems to me I'd put more of an inscription
over her than that. A trunk label would
contain more information than that stone. "
Dare say, dare say, replied the surviving
Diffey, "but-you don't happen to know
Mrs. d., / reckon, ch?" Had not the
pleasure. Pleasure! great Scott! Well
if you had known her, you'd understand
how | feel about the matter. My friend,
the chisel won't do her any good" And
with smile like an electric light in a fog
the bereaved party unbuttoned his ulster
and made break for passing car.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-22
How Garland Plays ,possum.

Senator Garland, of Arkansas, was ap-
pealed to by Forest and Stream for directions
how to cook 'possum. "The bent of my
mind, - he replied, is that if you wossA
boil the 'possum in salt and red pepper
water until he is quite tender, and then
brown him well in an old-fashioned oven, or
skillet, wherein around his body goodly
number of potatoes are baked and Drowned,
you would have dish unrivaled and more
than Oriental, and person who couldn't
relish it,whether he took the 'possum hot or
cold, would have no celestial fire in his soul,
nor music either As to whether a 'possum
is best eaten hot or cold the Senator confessed
inability to decide, Rather than miss
him entirely" he added, 81 would try to
eat him in any way could find him, and
really | am of opinion that he is better hot
or cold, according to the state he is in when
last partake of him."
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-22

Baseball games were played yesterday
as follows: At Albany, N. Y, Troys, 8; Al
bangs, 4. At New York, Bostons, 5; Metro
politans, 3. At Philadelphia, Athletics, 3;
Baltimores, /.
AT the Widncs athletic sports near Lon
don yesterday Myers, the American, won
the quarter and half mile races with ridicu-
1ous ease, the former in SO 3-5s. and the
latter in 2m. IS. His racing is regarded
as marvellous.
AT Wimbledon, the "Albert jewel" COM
petition, at 1000 yards, was again won by
an American. DR.. Scott, of tho American
team, won it in 1880, and Milton FarrOw,
also of the American team, won 1t in 1879.
This year Frank Hyde, the American, and
Capt. Godsal, of the Second Bucks Regi-
ment, each made score of 20 out of pos
sible rs, and on shooting off the tie Mr..
Hyde made three bulls-eyes against Capt.
Godsal's two inners and one bulPs-eye, thus
winning the prize.
AT Brighton Beach yesterday the first
race, mile and furlong, was won by Cow
erneur; Aleck Ament sec0nd-time, 1853.
The second race, mile and quarter, with
selling allowances, was won by Dodette;
New York Weekly second-time, 2:11. The
third race, one mile, for maiden three-yoar
olds, was won by Gift; Kitty Hagler Sec
ond-time, 1:47. The fourth race, mile and
a furlong, was won by King Dutchman !;
Bellona second-time, 1851. The fifth race,
handicap steeplechase, was won by Strych-
nine; Kate Long second-time, 2:49I.
The Carroll County (Md.) Agricultural
Association offered very handsome silver
cup, adorned with appropriate rifle designs,
as a prize in five hundred yards contest
between teams from the Carroll County
Rifle Association, the Maryland Rifle Asso-
citation nf baltimore and fha Cn1nmh hin
Rifle Association, of this city; teams of
four men, ten shots for each man, no coach
ing permitted. This match was shot yes
terday at Westminster, Carroll County, all
: of the associations invited sending teams to
contest The Columbia Association was
represented by Col. ]. o. p. Burnside, DR..
S. G. Scott, Walter Scott and A. A. Adec.
The Maryland Association won. The scores
were: Maryland Association, 1914; Column
bia, 1872, and Carroll County, 1888. The gen.
tlemen from Washington greatly enjoyed
themselves
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-22
Newspaper wit.

"A muzzle over dogs mouth acts as sus-
penders to his pants.-Phila. Chronicle Her.
AID.
The army worm got as far as Boston
when miss with eye glasses called it by
its real name. 1t Immediately, laid down
and philadelphia Netcs.
When the telegraph wires are put under
ground, small boys will be obliged to dig
and dirt themselves before they can fasten
their kite-tails to the wires-New Orleans
Picay,ne. ... s-.
7 =" Are you going to the ocean J" No, l
am not going to the ocean; detest the
motion but my sister has anotion of going
to the ocean, by way of Goshen. ~ onkers
Statesman.
The newspapers of Philadelphia are
chiefly responsible for the filthy condition OF
the streets. Years ago, when the women
wore dresses long enough to sweep up the
dirt, the papers were continually ridiculing
Observation-Disclosures Chronicle Herald.
-Four comets have been discovered since
May and not single sea serpent. Pro-
prietors of watering places are STRANGELY re-
miss this summer; or have the serpents for
saken their old haunts and sought higher
sphere? Perhaps these comets are but our
old friends, the sea serpents, after all.-Bos-
ton Transcript
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-22
Equal to the Occasion.

DETROIT Free PrtsS.
A boy on Jones street was the other even
ing eating away at big cocoanut that had
been cracked open with a brickbat, when q
pedestrian felt it his duty to halt and re-
mark:
"Boy, don't you know that too much of
that stuff may give you the colic?"
4" guess so, " was the reply.
"Then why do you eat it?"
"Well, if my chum, who lives next door,
can stand the smallpox for six weeks,
guess can put up with the collie for three
or four hours, was the reply, as he bit of
another big hunk. .-8F 40,
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-22

Mr.. Ormond ii. Butler, well known in
Washington business circles and also as a
warm supporter of base ball. has just been
engaged as treasurer for the Collier Bank
ers' Daughter theatrical combination for
the coming season.. They open at the Grand
Opera House, New York city, August 10
next. Mr.. Butler is by no means novice
in the theatrical line. In former seasons he
was manager for Joe jefferson, Janauschek,
Rignold and other theatrical parties, filling
each position creditably. He enters the field
again with the best wishes of many friends
here, and visit to this city by his combi-
nation will be followed by hearty well
come.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-22
Summary OF Morning News.

-Zulu's are fighting among themselves.
The Egypt cotton crop will equal that
of last year.
Serious troubles are again threatened in
the Cherokee nation.
The National Educational Association
of Atlanta, Ga, will adjourn to-day.
DR.. James d. Fitch, well-known New
York physician, died in that city yesterday,
, in the 80th year of his age.
Several of the South American States
are thinking of adopting the principle of
arbitration in their various differences.
"A German authority reckons the
amount of capital lost to the Fatherland by
emigration to America at 12.300000 marks.
The remains of George T. Coles, who
was shot in New York by Mrs Elizabeth E.
Coleman, have been taken to Hartford for
intermeut.
The new iron steamer Umatilla, built
at Chester, Pa, for the Oregon Steamship
Company, sailed for New York yesterday
morning.
Anna Stout, of Buffalo, put lighted
cigar in her pocket yesterday, and was
nearly burned to death before the fire could
be extinguished.
Tho churches of all denominations in
Texas will observe day of thanksgiving
for the Presidents recovery, whether Gov.
Roberts requests it or not. a8
1t is claimed that no European power
retains so much influence at Constantinople
: rs England. Because Turkey believes Eng
land has no designs upon her.
AT Chicago yesterday Judge Drummond
granted motion to make the writ of error
in the case of Doyle, the utterer of counterfeit
Government bonds, supersedcas, and fix
Doylc's bail at $4,000.
Parties seeking an heir to the Van Alter
estate, valued at $5,OOO,0OO, at Syracuse
have found grandson in the person Of
John Green, n ship carpenter, of Milwaukee
of whose identity they have no doubt.
A man named Beadmont arrived al
Kelrush, Ireland, from Norway, Wednesday
evening, in half-decked boat, thirty fee
long, and sailed again for America, where
he expects to arrive in fifty days. He car
ried eighty days provisions.
AT Jersey City, N. j., yesterday, as {
party of ladies and gentlemen were on
driving, the horses were frightened by ,
passing train and ran away, throwing out
Miss Blitz, aged 10, of Newark, N. j., VIII
was killed. Mrs. Minks, also of Newark
received fatal internal injuries.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-22
YJNRUsTEE's SALE OF IMPROVED REAL
Il ESTATE, 347 L ST. s. w.

Pursuant to decree of the Court of Equity -
for this city-appointing myself trustee-in W:a
the case of Henry W. Norris ct al, VS.. Eliza UJ
beth Hall ct ALL No. $500 Equity Causes, to sell the
property of the said Elizabeth Hall. designated in
said decree, shall, as such trustee, on FRIDAY,
the 20th day Of JULY, 1881, proceed to sell the
premises, between the hours Of and o'clock p.
the right, title, claim and interest which the said
defendant has In the house and lot situate square
frame house, containing seven rooms; also, a sta
BILE In the rear on paved aley) east side OF said
square being IL feet inches 'front.' running back 10
feet inches ON street southwest between Sd and
Al streets, being the same described In the plain
tiff deed to the defendant, to pay the of 500
with interest Mt the rate OF per cent from July
LIST, 1876 till paid, together with the costs Of suit.
See decree. JAS. A. MAIN,
JNO. T.. NORRIS, Trustee.
l. PARKER JORDAN. 80
Attorneys iylS-dAds
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-22

An intelligent lady asked a sculptor,
who was about completing the figure of
lamb, "Did you cut out that animal p "oh,
no." said the artist, the lamb has been
there all the time; only took the marble
from around him-that's all"
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-22
AUCTION SALES--.TO- DAY
ny DuNcANsoN nRos' Anc,,oneers

by DUNcANsoN BROS, Auctioneers.
TRUSTEES SALE OF IMPROVED PROP
ERTY ON FOURTH BET q AND III sly.
NORTHWEST, AT AUCTION
by virtue Of a deed of trust given to us and -.
duly recorded In liber No. sl2 folio 1876, ct sep s:j
one of the land records for Washington ld.T
county IN the District of Columbia we will sell on
FRIDAY, the 22d day of JULY, A. ID. 1881, at
iD o'clock p M: in front Of the premises, the fol-
lowing described property In the city OF Was1ing-
ton, District Of Columbia, and known as part ~
lot numbered one ID in Enoch fuckers subdivf
sion of the east half of lot numbered eight 49, tn
square numbered five hundred and eighteen (5iD
city, beginning for said part of lot numbered one Q)
on Fourth street west, being the east line of said
lot one ~ twenty-four (2i) feet north from the
southeast corner of said lot one N, and running
thence north with said Fourth street west, and
SAID east line sixteen feet to the northeast corner
or said lot, thence west on the north line OF said
lot slxty-twO feet (62 NJ three (3) inches, thence
south sixteen (l0l feet thence east sxty-two (62)
feet three go Inches, to the place of beginning
gether with all the improvements, ways case
ments, rights privileges and appurtenances TO the
same belonging or In any wise nppertaining.
Terms: Onefourth cash, balance in and IL
of trust on promises, or all cash. at option Of pur-
chaser Terms to be compiled with In days
otherwise the trustees reserve the right to resell IL
risk and cost OF defaulting purchaser amer giving
5days public notice In some newspaper published
In Washington, ID. G. deposit OF 500 required
Mt time OF sale Conveyancing at purchasers cost
SAMUEL CROSS,
EDWARD DRO0P,
lyl2-eoddds Trustees.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-22
AUCTION SALES.--FUTURE DAYS.
MOS. BOWLING, Auctioneer.

TRUSTEES SALE.
by virtue OF n deed OF trust dated March d,
1877 and recorded In lber No. $751; folio 3S5, offa
the land records Of the District OF Columbia, E:T
the 1th day Of AUGUST, 1851, In front of the
premises, at o'clock p. M, the following de
ton, ID. c., and known and describe as lots num-
Der twenty (20(, twenty-one l2I) and twenty-three
(23) of g. b. Church recorded subdivision OF part
OF square numbered no. the same being improved
with three-story brick dwellings.
Terms of sale: One third of the purchase money
to be paid In cash, and the residue In two equal In
stalments OF six and twelve months, with Inter-
est to be secured by notes and deeds Of trust
the property, or all cash, at the purchasers OPP
ton. A deposit OF go will be required Mt the time
Of SALE the trustees reserving the right to resell
the property should the purchaser not comply
with above terms within five days from day OF
sale, cost OF conveyanclng at purchasers expense.
JAMES HARRISON JOHNSON,
WIN. A. WIMSATT,
ly22-dAda Trustees.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-22
THE EVENING CRITIC.
-, ESTABLISHED AUGUST, 1865.
Has There Been Unlawful Abate-
ment of Taxes?

tfsdtt0r OF me Euentng CTtttc:
/ hope the taxpayers will have some an
swer to the question raised by tho "In-
quirer" of THE CRITIC about unfair and un-
lawful abatement of taxes in favor of
one of the District Commissioners
The charge is either true or false.
If false, it ought not to be diff
cult to show that fact; but great many
people believe the charge is well founded.
They believe that the abatement Of ST. per
cent of the tax assessed for the improve
ment of a certain street in Georgetown be-
cause one of the Commissioners happens to
be largely interested in property AUDITING
on that street, is not honest. They may be
mistaken, but they believe the extra
ordinary abatement in this case, was cor
rupt exercise of power in the interest Of one
of the Commissioners. hope you will give
the bottom facts about this transaction.
They must be accessible somewhere. 1t may
be the Commissioners themselves might
throw some light on the subject.
TNoIYIREp
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-22
DIR. Rhodes, Transiusing Battery,

advertised in another column, is an article
of real merit and is worth its weight in gold.
1t will positively do what is claimed for it,
Money cheerfully refunded to all using it a
reasonable length of time if they are not
satisfied. Mr.. Il. X. Helphenstine, the we'll
known druggist, Fourteenth and + streets
Ebbitt House-is the agent.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-22
Poor Crops In Montgomery County
Maryland.
Rockville Advocate.

The reports that come in as the recent
wheat crop is being threshed, do not IN the
least correct the first impression that the
Weld will be a poor one. In Medley's and
Mechanicsvilles district the yield is esti-
mated as falling off at least one-third, and
the quality of the grain is by no means up
to the Montgomery standard. Other sec
tions of the county report about the same
unfortunate result.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-22
The boy stood in the melon patch,
When all but him had fled,

And visions OF royal feast
Went dancing through his head;
But the farmer and the bulldog came,
And the boy, U where was he?
Go ask the doctor man who patched
His sore an-at-o.mee.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-22

The girls are so tall up In Beauchamps
That men six feet high cannot reauchamps
Except with q ladder;
But down they come sadder
With the lessons the Amazons teauchamps.
--BoSton Transcript
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-22

DRAFTS on London, Dublin and Paris, at
IL. ID. Cooke Jr., 81 Co.'s, 1929 L ST.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-22

Notice.
Don't forget Prentiss' Concentrated
lemonade for your lunch. Seventh and f.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-22
UNDERTAKERS.
DEN1ONGEOT Sc Co.,

Importers of HUMAN HAIR AND PERFUM
ER1ES, Ladies' and Gents Hairwork, ready-made
and to order. Eau de Quinine instantaneous Hair
Dye. Ostrich Feathers Prepared, Dyed and Cnrled
The most complete business of the kind this side
OF New York Gle Ninth st. opp U. $. Pat on
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-22

"A muzzle over dogs mouth acts as sus-
penders to his pants.-Phila. Chronicle Her.
aid.
Knoxville daily chronicle. [volume] (Knoxville, Tenn.) 1870-1882, 1881-05-19
THE SENATE.
Report of Proceedings of the Sen
ate in Extraordinary Session.

WASHINGTON, May 1S.-Mr. An
thony, chairman of the committee on
printing, asked that that committee
be discharged from further consid
Grafton of the resolut on enlarging
the scope of the official register. So
ordered.
Mr.. Burnside then called up the
resolution reported from the com>
mittee on foreign relations relative
to inter canals. He hoped
that the Senate would act upon the
resolution Immediately.
Mr.. ingalls, said that it was very
clear to him that it was not wise OF
expedient for the Senate at this
period of it's sittings to pass reso-
luton on the subject referred to,
especially on the terms that were
employed in the present resolution
After some discussion, the consid
Grafton of the inter-oceanic canal
resolution was postponed until the
f st Monday in December.
The Senate then took up the reso-
luton offered yesterday by Mr.. Saun-
ders, d recting the committee on the
judiciary to inquire into the relations
of The Central Pacific to it's leased
lines and other corporations and re-
port at the next session of Congress
what is proper or necessary to pro-
tect the interests of the United
States.
Some debate occurred, but the
resolution was, on motion of Mr..
Davis, of Illinois, laid upon the table.
Mr. Bayard's resolution for the
appointment of a committee of two
Senators to wait upon the President
and inquire whether he has further
business to communicate to the Sen
ate has been adopted, and Messrs.
Bayard and Cameron were appointed
as such committee, and Immediately
proceeded to the executive mansion.
The Senate has taken recess for an
hour.
When the committee returned
from the Executive Mansion, Mr..
Bayard reported that the President
had stated to the committee that he
had other nominations still to make,
and the doors having been reopened
tue Senate, at $50 p. M, adjourned.