The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-06-21
THE COMMENCEMENT SEASON.


Young Ladies' Institute commencement to-
day"
"Wherc,' inquired the new man, docs
it commence atY'
4" You can see by the morning papers"
"What is ii forY'
90, ! can't go into details now" said the
editor, in vexcd manner. You ought to
know something about these things by this
time yourself
"Lcinmc see " said the new man, it's
some sort of Il layout where they quit
school, isn't il, and have kind of jamborcc,
and all the girls wear white dresses and
there's couple of carloads of flowers, and
everybody gives everybody else taiiy, and
then they quit school ~
"You have toleraby accurate idea of
IL, " said the city editor.
"But when they quit, said the new man,
putting his feet up on the tin telephone,
''why do they call it n commencement
because" said the editor they are
Just beginning TO go out into busy life and
commencing to know what is what"
Then our reporter ramblcd around to the
place. At the gate he met II gentleman who
was bearded like bard, and he said:
"Arc the the sweet girl graduates wthinY'
"Sirl" said the bearded party, sternly.
al wished to know" returned our man
timidly, "if the young ladies who are be-
ginning TO commence, or rather, who are
commencing to begin, have begun, or in
other words commenced
al do not understand you, sir" observed
the bearded party, Ego and see the ianitor."
Eyes sir; thanks" said our new man,
and he went into the vestibule, surrcpti-
tiously chewing "A section of pretzel. An
aged party was sitting in chair meditat-
ing. Our reporter said to him:
Have you catalogue about your
cothes?"
"a catalogue, " observed the aged person
in surprise, "catalOugc.
Il mean programme"
"No."
Did you see programmeY"
- of YOU had brother would he sec pro
grammc?"
Here the aged person gazcd upon our re-
porter with n mingled expression OF sorrow
and made no reply
) ado you know, continued our reporter
"whether or not there is u programme IN
this wide world?'
AZ don't know, said the aged person.
Our new reporter then smoothcd down hi'
! bangs and entered the building. There wa'
beautiful array of beautiful girls. Hi
: manuscript conveying his impressions o
the scene reads us follows and was chuckct
into the waste basket because it contained
} no news:
"Owing to the crowded state of the church
| was compelled to lean up against the wall
and not being able to follow the remarks o
: the speaker, which were, / believe, to tho
effect that moral education was good thing
employed my time looking at the hats ant
bonnets The scene would have dclighte,
the eyes of n milliner. l never saw such ;
/, recherche collection of hats and bonncts il
4, -. 1n,,,i ,tat oil p,t II,
they were; at least we think they chips
they looked like chips, and, as II genera
thing, they were trimmed in white. Whit
also predominatcd in the dresses. Tn
dresses were generally made in the polonais
, style-but guess I'll let Bessie Brandt
write this part of it, rs she knows NOR
: about the subject than do"
: The above was q small section of his II
port, which, as we have said, was SUI
= pressed. He then went out and tackle
the aged person again. He said:
"What is it all about?"
az don't know" said the aged person.
"Do you think l could bride any gentle
man to loan me II programme"
"You might go around to the other door,
n said the aged party.
!. "Thcn," said our reporter, went aroun
q to the other door There were three or fou
n young gentlemen in spike-tail coats an
q white satin ncckties at the door; they wer
n taking charge of the floral offerings, whic
q were numerous and beautiful, but the youn
T gentlemen in the spikc-tails knew nothin
4 about the programme, and gave them SON
:. good advice aud went away"
&c When he arrived ut the Office the edit,
n said:
| "Why didn't you get some facts?"
~ Couldn't" answered the new man." tho
l. kept the facts locked up in their ow
bosOms.'
"Who preached the scrmon?'
"Don't know"
e "What are the pames of the graduates
didn't find out"
=, How about the floral Oflerings"
. Cant toll
% "Wcll," said the editor, "you have a vci
/, fair idea of where the business Office of tn
= paper is. Go and get your salary, and b
IL fore you 60 away leave your reporters cal
J. that you received"
The new man walked away whistlir
It softly, empty is the Cradle, Baby's Gone
k and was heard to say to himself ut the hea
II of the stairs, "That is played out; tn
makes the fourth time he has tried to boun,
Il me this week, but won't have it,