Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1881-12-02

"Why didn't you advise him TO in
vite some friends down and shoot his
preservesP" asked Alice Callingclere.
al never saw such quantity of pleas.
ants and hares going about wild.n
"What n sentiment for womanm
exclaimed the great Umberglowih.
"You and your husband, my dear lead
lives absolutely devoid OF common
sense, preserving game that you may
kill it; breeding life only to destroy. II
you want sport, why not make it useful
to the community by destroying rats
and miceP"
1--WE do when we get a chancc,,'
said Alice, mildly.
"Well, your uncle was not above the
country gentleman's foible about fox
hunting" confessed Stephen Umber-
glowth. "When he was young he
hunted; but in his latter days tried to
make him understand what q foolish
waste of capital and energy there was
in setting sixty hounds and as many
men to gallop after fox. He used to
listen without answering, but / am sure
l made an impression; he was an old
fashioned gentleman, your uncle, but
very keen and sound of sense. A won
derfully accurate Judge of character to
begin with" r.
~ expect he used to praise you, II
you say that" laughed Mrs. Calling
| clere.
"I am as indifferent to praise, Alice,
as am to all the luxuries and amuse-
ments that seem to please you," re-
marked Stephen, loftily. Your uncle,
read me Alright, and esteemed me, be-
lieve, which was only natural, as l
never gave him occasion to doubt the
soundness of my Judgment"
Here Mr. Purkin, the lawyer, inter-
are ready - :" he said: SO the
door was closed, and everybody sat
down. Stephen Umberglowth took his
place at the head of the table at the
solicitors right hand. Mr.. Purkin,
who knew the contents of the will, had
given him q hint that he was the heir,
so Stephen felt secure and jubilant, as
the above conversation showed.
Mr.. Purkin broke the seals of the en-
velope that contained the will and
smoothed out that document amidst q
dead silence. He was prim, white
haired little man, very formal in all his
ways, and he proceeded to read with
tuneful distinctness.
After the customary preamble, the
will continued as follows: l bequeath
to my sister-in-law, Lady Beakwell, the
sum of $4,000 and mourning ring
worth 100 guineas. To my nephew,
Clement Gloam, $4,000; 1 altogether
deprecate his new tangled ritualist an
tics, or should have left him more.
To my nephew, Dennis Callingclere,
leave f10,0O0, and f50O to his wife to
buy trinkets with; they are pleasant
couple, but it would be folly to bequeath
the whole of my estate to a pair of such
scattergoods." Then came a string of
generous legacies to servants; f2OO
to the rector of the parish, DIR. Brush;
f200 to DIR. Grinning; and at last the
passage that concerned Stephen Umber-
glowth: .-.---...
+" And / appoint my cousin, Stephen
Umberglowth, to be my resduary leg
atee. bequeath to him all my estates,
personal property, goods and chattels
not heretofore devised; and this | do
because he is my nearest of kin. But
fetter this bequest with condition.
Stephen Umberglowth has a good opin-
ion of himself which l have never
shared. | have heard the dog speak
blasphemously of his Maker and give
tongue upon all sorts of subjects be-
yond his comprehension, like an ill
bred puppy. He is a fool puffed up
with his own folly, whom have often
itched to chastise; and l have resolved
that before he takes possession of an
income of f30,000 he must undergo a
correction which shall imbue him with
a proper humility of spirit and remain
to him as memento of my rebuke from
the grave. L therefore order that
within twenty-four hours after the
reading of my will Stephen TIMBER
glowth shall kneel for an hour in the
dining room of Lumber Hall, with a
FOOLS cap upon his head, and read three
times in an audible voice, SO that all
who please to come into the room may
hear him, the 10Th and 25th chapters
OF the Book of Proverbs. Furthermore,
/ order that at the conclusion of his
hours penance Stephen Umberglowth
shall receive sound schoolboy whip
ping OF twelve cuts with birch from
coachman. Doddles; and beaueath a
fee of fifty guineas to Doddles (in addi-
tion to the legacy of f100 already made
him) to inhict this punishment, and
fifty guineas each to Dr. Brush, DR..
Grinning and Mr.. Purkin to witness
the punishment and see that it is ad.
ministered with conscientious smart
ness. charge Doddles, if he have any
! affection for his old master, not to spare
the rod, but to lay on with vigor. In
case, however, Stephen Umberglowth
should decline submitting to penance
and stripes, desire that my estate
, shall be disposed of as follows. ~
And the will went on to say that in the
, event of Stephen proving contumacieus
. he was to receive E1O. 900 only, and the
I property was to- be divided in equa
part between the other relatives al
: ready mentioned.
} One may imagine how the reading o.
7 the foregoing clauses was received. Alice
; Callingclere and her husband could no
| refrain from burst of laughter; a grin
7 smile lowered over the lips of Lad,
Beakwell; Mr.. Gloam emitted a piou
chuckle, and Mrs. Gloam blushed. A
. for the great Stephen Underground, h
: sat with his face crimson and his eye
: balls staring, speechless with disma
h and Indignation.
: "Pooh, pooh what preposterou
] stuff p he blurted out, as soon he coul,
: speak. "Any court of law will set thes
2 provisions aside"
r Certainly, Mr., Underground" SAT-
s the lawyer, in an apologetic tone. a
though to beg pardon for what he ha
Q read. i told your cousin 80 when tn
n will was drawn up"
!, "But why did you allow him to dra,
: up such will at all, sirp Its an insul
Q to common sense"
@ 81 did my best to dissuade him." an
!, swered Mr.. Purkin. "Only fortngh
h ago, when he was on his death-bed
y returned to the Hall to ask whether h
9 would not cancel those clauses; but h
IS declared that he would not remit you
i your punishment.
o "Come, Uncle Stephen, whippin
- won't hurt you," remarked Alice Cal
: ingclere, maliciously.
# "And you will find those two chal
o ters in Proverbs well worth your attei
d tion," observed Mr. Gloam, pensivel,
IN. fN,. 10