Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1881-05-30
ABOUT THE WOMEN.

The Boston papers are telling ABOUT =
Miss Terry, OF that city, who wore at a
recent ball satin dress that belonged
TO the mother Of Napoleon Bonaparte.
A girl here recently wore to a ball
dress that belonged to her sister Tie
sister stayed at home and kicked.
A young woman firted with stran.
ger after dusk in Minneapolis. They
walked together until they came to a
street lamp, when she saw that he was
a negro. She insisted upon his arrest
by policeman, but magistrate de-
ciIed that his offense was not color
able one.
The titles OF books ara often very de-
ceptiyr. Mrs. Burnett's latest work is
called "a Fair Barbarian" but there is
not one word in il as 10 what church
gave the fair, or the name vi the Bar
bariau that kicked because her table
was failure. There is no realism IN
modern literature.
Kate Field has added to her enter
tainments "Silent Song which Is an
exhibition in pantomime OF the efforts
OF a young lady TO sing In crowded
drawing room. This style OF singing Is
one that commends itself warmly to
every one that has ever heard the aver
age young lady sing.
Julia, there is nothing absolutely
improper in it, but punning was IN rath-
er bad taste at such a time. The TACT
that your friends had just returned from
a coffee party did not justify you IN ask
ing, Did Java good tuner" Leave such
work to the men, Julia. They are all
hardened rascsls. /"
A San Francisco lady wanted her Int.
tie girl TO battle in q room the windows
OF which opened into the yard, in which
were some fowls. "But," said the little
girl, ~ don't want to battle before the
chickens" 'Oh, never mind the chick.
ems" said the mother. "Well, said
the little woman. III won't battle before
the rooster anyhow"
"well, you are the biggest goose l
ever SEEN" said an uncultivated but
honest Bostonian to the partner oil his
lows snd sorrows. And she, who had
had the advantage OF a public school
education, smiled upon him with
seraphic smile as she remarked: "Oh,
hubby, you are such self-forgettul
darling"
The latest lib for the girls to tell is
about the pretty quilted Innings to their
Jackets and wraps. They say: "Oh,
dear Ii is pretty, but there is so much
work in il, And one feels quite old.
fashioned while doing it, you know"
And the young man at whom the little
speech is aimed has a vision OF slen-
der beauty standing beside a quitting
frame, and working tirelessly like her
dear old grandmother in her picture,
although in reality the lining stuff can
be bought by the yard in the shop land
ia rather less troublesome to make than
plain silk would be.
A nice young man at church lair
recently took the place OF yeung lady
who was selling kisses at twenty nve
cents each, and doing much toward re.
plenishing the church treasury, and
promoting religion, and so forth. The
only customers he had during the next
hour were two old maids, one with
ysrt on her nose. and the other with
false front teeth. The nice young man
thereupon raised the price OF his wares
10 one thousand dollars per kiss. There
Il no doubt that women excel IN this
line Of business.
Mrs. Blaine had been some years in
Washington before Mrs., wife OF
Democratic Senator, called on her. At
last Mrs. - was announced one DAY,
As Mrs. Blaine entered her drawing
room to receive her guest, she noticed
the colored cook slip out nurriedly from
the reception room, where Mrs =
was waiting This surprised her, but
she said nothing. Next day, however,
her valuable cook left her to find a place
in Mrs. IS kitchen. At a state din
ner soon after, given at the Executive
Mansion, these ladies CHANGED to be
placed with only seat between them
at the table. The gentleman sitting be
tween them noticing that Mrs. Blaine
did not ad iress a word OF conversation
10 his other neighbor, exclaimed: why,
Mrs. Blame, you know Mrs. Senator
=, do you not?" "Ne, Mrs. Blank
called the other day at my house on my
cook, and her card was handed to me
by mistake. Ny cook returned the
call.