Middletown transcript., 1881-01-07
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CHIPS.

Pretty women Wilkins.
The tallest men are often short
when the collector calls-Q Quincy Mod
ern Argo.
The obelisk has cold feet. This is
rough on the obelisk's wife, Williams
port BREAKFAST Table.
Sparkling across the garden fence ad-
mits Of a good deal being said on both
Sides -Meriden Recorder.
Many persons will accept the olive
branch only from such persons as they
cannot ck.-Prudent Wilkins.
In these days Of fiirtations it is hard
ly safe for a man to blow his nose on
the street. -DanielsonUille Sentinel.
Windows are unfortunate things for
they always have panes, and most Of
them are blinded. Somerrille Journal.
Our exchanges have a good deal to
say about the weather strips. The
weather should not strip. That's the
reason it gets colby. Ne,C Era.
Mysterious-the passion which leads
some people to persist in writing poetry,
who have hardly sufficient intelligence
to pack pork.-San Francisco Wasp.
s'You can't comet, r she remarked to
him, as he tried to snatch kiss from
her rosy lips, as they were out star-gaz-
ing the other evening. DGnielsod0tIle
Sentinel.
What would the year be without the
holiday season ? How would a man
ever know that his wife truly loved him
il she didn't have an annual opportuni-
ty to buy him a dressing gown worth
eighteen dollars, and have the same
charged to his account ?-IOm WeGUer.
There is a good opening for news
paper that will not describe wedding
by saying "a sumptuous repast was
served, Y and ''the table fairly groaned
under its load Of luxuries." There is
too much sumptuousness and groaning.
Toronto Grip.
They never will get to the North Pole
until it is announced that the Govern
ment will establish it into new and
independent Congressional district,
Then look out for the rush. There are
men in the State Of Ohio who will walk
to it.-BTliRgton HaaCkeye.
A Quincy family were just upon the
eve Of departure for Chicago on two
weeks visit with relatives. When the
little girl knelt down to lisp her evening
prayer she surprised her mother by clos
ing "Dood by Dod, we'se doin' to Chi
tado an 100 won't see me adam for two
whole weets I''-Kit adams.
Aadremsi Bazafsayys- gathered waists
are very much worn. ? If the men would
gather the waists carefully and not
squeeze so like the blazes, they would
not be worn 50 much. Some men go to
work gathering waist just as they
would 90 to work washing sheep, OF
raking and binding. They ought to
gather as though it was eggs done up
in a funnel-shaped brown paper at a
grocery. MilUaukee San.
Another one Of George Washington's
servants died recently. George was al
ways particular in choosing his servants.
They were all long-liyed. When the
world comes to an end one Of Georges
servants will pick it up and jump into
space with it. This will exterminate
that class Of servants. Until then we
expect to chronicle the death Of at least
one year.-Geo. e. Garrett.
Pudge, after weeks spree, went
home late one night singing There's
no place like home r. He thinks 50
yet His wife received him with ter
rife warmth. She spread him over two
flights Of stairs, busted the second-foor
entry carpet with him, opened the door
Of their bedroom with his head, jammed
him between two dressing-cases wound
him around bed-post, and performed
other acts indicative Of her great delight
upon his return. He is confident he
will not be cold again this winter
PhjIa. San.