St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1881-06-24
Croqueters on the Crisis.

The night before last the Utica
CrOquet club-cOmpOsed entirely of
young ladies held its second meeting
for the season of 1881. Two new
members were admitted, and proposals
for membership were made. The COM
mittee on resolutions made their eX-
pected report. The resolutions were
written on scented paper and penned
with violet ink. After the business of
the evening had been finished, the
young lady sitting on the ottoman sud
denly exclaimed:
"Oh, my Girls, did you hear about
COnkling ?"
"No. What is it g'' said the four
misses on the settee i'll one breath.
"Why, he's resigned ~
'Resigned to what. Has he been
dangerously sick ~ said the secretary.
"NO, no. Can't you understand He
has given up his senatOrship."
Goodness gracious! Amt that too
bad ~
"IIow much did he get for it ~ que
ried the girl with the album i'll her lap.
''Why, you silly thing You ought
to read the newspapers. Senator
Conkling got dissatisfied with some
| thing in Washington and resigned his
office into the hands of Governor
Cornell. There was misunderstand-
ing between him and the president
about some man named Rob-RObert-
Roberts me see. RObertsOn-No
that amt it. Oh, yes-Roberts0n.
Dear SUI They say the whole coun-
| try is in IL crisis.n
81 read all about that said the pres
ident of the club, knowingly. "Sena-
tor Conkling and this Robertson had
some kind of fIlss-while they were
trying lawsuit. Come to think, Mr..
Conkling wanted to give him some in
structiOns and Robertson wouldn't have
it. Then the president appointed
Robertson to collect money i'll some
ward in New York city"
"That wasn't it," interrupted the
first speaker. "Thc president told Mr.
Robertson to stand at some lock Il
dead lock, they call it-and see that
the canal boat captains paid their tolls
The man who was put out of a job by
Mr.. Robertson getting the situation
used to go to school with Mr.. Conk-
ling
"What | want to know said a
young lady" is how the president
could order these men around so
Didn't read in the paper the Other
day that Mr.. COnkling was the boss p
"My sakes that's funny CALCULATED
the secretary 81 heard my brother
say it was Il man named Blaine, who
came here from Canada, and wanted
to run the whole country, and caused
the disturbance. The president made
Blaine present of II cabinet organ
and then he never stopped begging
until he had got whole set of furni
ture, too. That made the other MAJ
who didn't get anything jealous"
"What were the guns firing for to
day ~ asked the girl on the settee.
''YOu see, the senate helped Robert
son to get this job answered the frs
speaker, "and the half-breeds were 81
glad that they borrowed some can
) mons"
"Who are the half breeds Indians :
II am not sure, but think they are
) They must have come when the cana
opened"
Girls" exclaimed the president o
t the meeting, edo you know | tlIinl
+ that firing was real battle ? | rca'
in the paper last week about the WA
5 on the President Isn't it awful"
= "And saw How the bomb struck !!
D "Oh, these horrid half-breeds !" ejac
ulated five voices ut once.
f "Yes," continued the president, ''an
f | believe they are going to he com
= manded by that Gen. Malone, VIII
a came to Washington with red shin
: on and tried to scare everybody"
''Fm going home" family said tn
a secretary.
4 "'Let us all 60" said the girl on tn
n settee.n
t ooh, hope we won't meet any half
-, breeds" y Utica Courier.