Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1881-07-22
Detroit Currency.

Detroit Currency.
Not only keep cool, but keep shady.
Peck's Sun speaks of locomotive as
who. There's a switch open there.
Lawn is only eight cents per yard,
and lawn parties ought to be plenty.
The editor of the National Rep"6ltcan.
Washington, is the orazeness anu m's'
impudent literary thief in America.
Illinois women like the name OF
Smith. DIR. Smith, OF Prairie Bend,
had no difficulty in engaging himself to
marry four of them.
Astronomer Proctor says the world
will last 80, 600, 600 years yet: That
will do. ANY man who demands more
is hog Ny. World.
mot one hotel in forty, large or
small, places good cup OF coffee On the
table" says a New Yorker VINO has
Travelled for twenty years.
An average of . 900 postal cards are
daily mailed in this country without
address on the face. We are becoming
an absent.mindei nation.
The Philadelphia Chronicle is anx-
iously waiting to see II the Revised
Testament will press autumn leaves as
good as the other edition.
A Chicago drummer is in limbo in a
Wisconsin all for hitting hotel land
lord with twenty-one cut OF possible
twenty-three Goldfish balls.
In the harbor of Honolulu the other
day there we're ninety eight vessels, OF
which number only three were Ameri-
can. Even Brazil had five.
Jay Gould's profits last year were
SC, 100000. How nice it must be to be
able to buy o whole custard pie at once
and not feel that you have 10 suffer for
the extravaganza.
The government has spent $3.50, 00O
in investigating the locust. army worm
and grasshopper, and the only result
thus far reported is thai none OF them
wear spectacles.
"Who would live without children 2
plaintively asks the New York Herald
, That depends ON whether your wife Can
make the Oldest boy pair OF pants out
of your old coat.
A Justice O. the Peace, two.thirds
drunk and in the market for $40, never
thinks of the cheek of the thing when
he marries couple and says: Whom
: God hath joined together" etc.
Greece, patriotic Greece, also has
her side issues. The latest is treasury
defalcation of 100000. Eight mel
who wanted to die for their country
: formed ring and got the money.
The Modern Argo has a poet who
D can put eleven feet into one line anc
8 five in another and still preserve sucL
even harmony that the reader seems t.
: be gradually falling from fve-story
building.
When the telegraph wires are rur
under ground, and the poles abolished
= the lamp.posts should be increased
? There must be something left fol
? drunken men to cling to- Philadel
: phia Chronicle.
= 81 shall die" said an old Englisl
o doctor the other day, "under the firm
' helief that human science will vel
. lengthen the years OF life from al
= average of seventy to an average OF 100.
That's what we're waiting for.
When seven different piano-makers
J. advertise their instruments as "th'
J. best in the world" it is a relief to COM
J. across an old hand-orgsn which jump,
= the last verse of Captain Jinks" int,
the first of " Nellie Darling"
J. Two Michigan men have had bust
ness partnership for thirty nine year
|
'' without either losing days time. 1
J. is needless to add that the firm has no
made any money. Too easy. you know
Virginia has discovered still aaothe
=, cave. This one contains tho bodies O
four petrified Indians, who probabl
died while waiting for government "a
tons. Each one has o look of sorrow
which makes him worth So as a door
step.
Tho Hotel World of Chicago say
y that whisky will ruin hotel keepe
quicker than chsin-lightning. 1t mus
% be something besides his poor beef
The people stand that year after yea
without making movement to lyme
j. him.
Mr.. Baker, banker at Fond du Lac
gave out when he FIRST failed that hi
liabilities wonld hot exceed his asset
3. by over $50, 900. Later in the weel
!" when his wife's dress.making bill cam
!. in, he put assets down to $4,000 an
Ii liabilities mp to $3.50 900.
70 A gentleman from Indiana recent
q registered in an Illinois hotel an
y looked at the printed notice in his bed
1t room, "Please do not blow out tn
n gas" The occupant of the adjoinin
It room heard him remark: 81 pay m
u money and I'm going to blow out til
t, gas if I want to- Chicago Tribune.
% A Rich Man on Riches.
r The following story is told of Jaco
:, Ridgway. Q wealthy citizen of Phils
% deIphia who died many years age
+ leaving fortune of Eve or six million
n dollars:
n "Mr. Ridgwsy," said q young mai
70 with whom the millionaire was con
a versing, you are more to be enyie,