davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1881-07-01
A Family Episode.

A wife followed her husband down to
the gate as he was starting for down
town, and kindly said to him;
William, you knoW how sadly fneed
blue bunting dress"
eyes, DEAR" he remarked, "but you
know how hard up I am. AS soon as I
can see my way clear you shall have the
dress and new hat to boot. Be pa
tent, be good, and your reward shall
be great.
Forty minutes after that he emerged
from restaurant with big basket and
a fsh-pole, bound up the river. In the
basket was chicken, pickles, cake,
fruit, pie and bottle of liquid of rich
color, and he was just lighting 20-cent
cigar when his wife came along.
"What you here p he exclaimed.
eyes, I was going to the market.
Where are you going-what's in the bas-
ket?"
az was going to carry this fish-pole
around to friend on Jefferson avenue. :"
he modestly answered.
"And that basket ?"
"This basket-well, I was going to
take it to the orphan asylum as pres
ent to the children. It is donation
from six leading citizens. "
William, don't believe it."
"Sh Don't talk so loud p
William, I shall talk louder yet p
she exclaimed. "I'll bet you are going
fishing! |"
"Mary, have I ever deceived you %
he plaintively asked. CT never have +!
As proof of my sincerity you can take
this basket to the asylum yourself p
"And TIL do it!'' she promptly re-
piled as she relieved him of it.
Mary, hadn't you----?' o.
"No, sir. I hadn't! You'd better
hurry up with that fish-pole, as the man
may want it, and be careful how you
stand around in the hot sun p
She left him there. He watched her
take the car for home, and then he re-
turned the fsh-pole and crossed the
street and said to an acquaintance
"Tom, I'm suffering with neuralgia.
and the excursion is off till next week
Too bad, but we can never tell what a
day may bring forth"
There was chicken and pickles and
other good things on the table at dinner,
but he never smiled Even when his
wife wished she was an orphan, if that
was the way they were fed, he never be-
trayed the gloom in his heart. It was
only when she handed him the bottle he
had SO carefully tucked into the basket,
and he saw it labeled, ''Good for Little
| Children, that he said:
MARY, it is an awful thing for wife
to get the impression that her husband
is cold-hlooded liar p
"It must be-" she replied, as she
took the other chicken leg.-Detroit
| Free Press.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1881-07-01
The Grand Dukes TalIOw Candle.

From many amusing anecdotes of the
Russian imperial family related in the
late Karl Bender's memoirs, is the fol-
lowing highly characteristic story of the
eccentric Grand Duke Constantine, Gar
Alexander's eldest uncle. While resid-
ing at Warsaw, Constantine gave q
splendid banquet to a number Of the
great Polish mobiles, to each of whom, at
the conclusion of the feast, an ordinary
tallow candle was served on plate by
the attendant lacqueys. As soon as all
his guests were supplied with these pc
culiarly unappetizing objects, the Grand
Duke, who had given orders that an imi
tation candle, admirably executed in
marchpane, should be placed upon his
plate, rose from his seat and exclaimed
"Gentlemen, let us eat, to the honor
of Russia, the favOrite national comcsti-
bic of my country. Look at me. This
is the way to do it. .
So saying, he threw back his head,
opened his mouth wide, and inserted
therein two inches or SO Of the dainty in
question. AS he closed his teeth, how
ever, the expression of his countenance
suffered an extraordinary exchange. One
of the noblemen, sitting in his imme
date vicinity, had contrived to substi-
tute his own genuine tallow candle for
the marchpane imitation set before the
Grand Duke, who, not choosing to be-
tray himself to his guests, found himself
condemned to chew at least one copious
mouthful of good Russian tallow as an
example to all the victims of his detest-
able Jest, none of whom dared to alb
stain doing as the terrible Constantine
did. 1t is needless TO say that the dex-
ferrous appropriation of the marchpane
candle, while deyouring that toothsome
article with a Joyful heart, bafled sus-
picion by the most hideous visual con-
tortions expressive of loathing and maui
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1881-07-01

take along plenty of camp-followers.
The more the better. They are a ire
mehdotlsly effective arm OF the service,
and they Inspire In the foe the hveliest
dread. A West Point professor told
me that the wisdom of this was fecog-
nized as far back as scripture times.
He quoted the verse; He said it was
from the new revision, aha vas little
different from the way it reads in the old
one 10 not recollect the exact word
ing of it now, BUS J remember that it
wound up with something aSont such
and such a devastating agent being as
terrible as an army of bummers." 7
believe I have nothing further to add
but this The West Pointer said pri-
watts should preserve q respectful atti-
tude TO his stfperiors. and should seldom,
or never, proceed so far as to offer sug-
gestions to his General in the field. II
the battle is not being conducted to suit
him, it is better for him to resign. By
the etiquette of war it is permitted tC
nome below the rank of Newspaper cor.
respondent ts dictate to the General IL
the field.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1881-07-01
THE eRASARH OF THE WORLD.
Marvellous Agricultural Growth Of tiis
NEST:


The increase " the cereal production
OF the Western States and Territories
since 1860, says the Chicago Inter
Ocean. shows perhaps more than any
other one thihg tbe stupendous growth
OF the West. While the Rev ENGLAND
and the Southern States decreased nearly
Is to % per cent, respectively, the ten
great Western States and the Pacific
States and Territories, between the
years. 1860 and 1870, increased their
cereal pr6aaction By ~ and 145 per
cent, respectively; and tie rate Of In
crease during the last ten years, as fe-
vealed by the tenth census, is far great
er. While the increase in the cereal
product In the New England States has
been about q per cent, in the Middle
States about .101, and the Southern
States nearly 4S per csHt:.,. the increase
in the Pacific States and TeTritBblTFiss has
been nearly ITO per cent, and in the ten
Western States 1877 per cent. In brief.
the cereal of the ten Western States
have increased 231 per cent. in twenty
years.
The fetal cereal product of the country
in 1860 wac 1,229, 1889, GIG; in 1870, l.
$751;, 295, 523 and; dcc6raing TO the cen
sus of 1880, 2,714, 6O2, 681 bushels. OF
this immense product no less than g.
232, 697, 661 bushels were wheat and corn,
of which 1,675, 1926, or bushels were
produced in the Western States and
Territories, as will be seen by the fol-
lowing table:
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1881-07-01

the. yoke gracefully, his wife will be easg
With: him. viii let him have his own
Fay in, little things. and LOOK as docile
IS a; dove when company is present..
But in case the unlucky husband clings
to the. ancient superstition of his own
authority, then will be var to the knife,
and none can tell what viii happen, ssa
the certain ending that, at some time or
other, the wife will succeed In having
her own way. To watch a woman
training her husband to fetch and carry
is delightful pastime for those who are
in6lihed TO phil0sophic studs. With
heaven born instinct the vile knows sS-
actly when to smile and when to frown,
and where touch of the whip or tongue
will be most efectual. Graciously Civ
ing way to his wishes, after they have
been suggested by herself, she turns
him round her little finger; and holds
him up ,laughingly to the gaze OF q wun=
dering world.
Women are not generally humorists /;
but they cannot help feeling the fun of
the thing when they SO successfully
manage their husbands, who all the
while think they are managing them.
This aFtfu1 appearance of innocence and
obedience is, indeed; ths stirest sign
that wife is having all her 6wh, way.
She Is not SO foolish dis to care for ill the
semblances Of power. He may seem to
be the master, and really act as the fig
ure-head of the vessel; but the wife
rules the rudder, and steers the ship
<s1ithersoayey she may chance 10 wish.
Every wise married man knows this to
be SO, and bows to the inevitable. But,
then, few husbands are wise and they,
therefore, only to often expose them
selves to the fidicple of the philosophic
few, who see things DIS they are, and
smile setensly at the spectacle Of the
bold lions being driven; each III
single harness, in the chariot Of Home:
They are but poor company, these mar
ried men /; being either tanned out of all
knowledge, or else restless in chatting
under the bit and the reins. Their
wives are far more sociable and amusing,
because they are women of the world,
who have shown the strength of their
character by choosing men for husbands,
end then having everything their own
JssaT.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1881-07-01
A "reminiscences of. John Brown.

Mr.. Thomas B. Musgrove, the New
York banker, says "One day in the
summer of 1859 I was sitting in the dry
goods house of which was the junior
partner, and my desk was in the middle
OF the floor, as the Junior partners al
ways is, when man came in whom [
recognized in minute as John Brown.
He had been friend of my father, and
had nursed me on his knee when [ was
child. He took his seat ON a bale of
Usnaburgs. Osnaburgs were sort of
bagging used at the time to bale cotton.
AS Brown sat on the Osnaburg, he said {:
'These are made of labor that ought to
be face He repeated, feeling them in
his fingers, made of labor that ought to
be free He then said he wanted to see
the head of the firm, who was also his
friend. I said to him: 'Mr. Brown,
he is very busy just now. Can't [ at
tend to your business quite as well :?
What do you want 2 Il want to get
some rifles, he said, for Kansas. I
wanted some money well, Mr..
Brown said I, suppose I give you a
check for $50-won't that do?' THAT
will do very well, he said, 'and / need
not wait to see Mr.. -
81 wrote him the check, and he took
it and put it away, and that is the last
time I ever saw him. As he got up
from the Osnaburgs he said, shaking his
head Made of labor that ought to be
Free A very little while passed, it
seemed to me two months, perhaps,
when I picked up the paper and saw
that John Brown had made descent on
Harper's Ferry. I wrote to him, ex-
pressing my surprise that he was there,
and asking if anything could be done for
him. He replied that he would like to
have suit of clothes to go to his trial
In. knew what he liked to wear first
rate. He always wore, if he could con-
troll it himself, suit of snuff-colored
cloth or cashmere. His hair was of a
brown color, very much like the tint of
snutf-colored cloth, and so were his eyes.
His lips always looked to me as if they
had watGf on them. He spoke with
good, fair grammar, and was an interest
ing talker. I had the clothes made up
and sent to him to appear at the trial.
Not long after that paper at Rich
mond published the names of Northern
firms whom nothing must be bought
from, and ours among the rest. My
partners came to me and said / had
made a dreadful mistake, and must
drop out of the firm said that would
suit me very well indeed, and / sold out
and went to Italy"
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1881-07-01
A Remarkably Strange Career.

An inmate of the Soldiers Home, Day
ton, Ohio, who arrived there in May last,
is the subject of most remarkable his
tory. He enlisted in the United States
regular army in 1843, when only fifteen
years old, and after serving in the war
with Mexico, re-enlisted in 1848, '53, and
SO, He participated in the battle of
Bull Run and other severe engagements
in I861-2-3, and was taken prisoner
by the rebels at Vicksburg, June "a,
1868. He served over five months in
Salisbury prison, and over eleven months
in Andersonville, and several months in
various other prison pens At Anderson
vile he was shot in the mouth by the
notorious keeper of that pen (Wurtz),
and carries the bullet in his head at this
time.
In 1865 he escaped from the rebels
under Kirby Smith, near Brownsville,
Texas, and swan the Rio Grande under
the fire of his pursuers, receiving
a severe wound in his right hand, which
tore off three fingers and the thumb.
On reaching the opposite shore he was
captured by the "Greasers," a band of
Indians and half-breeds, who knew
nothing but murder, rapine, and plumber,
and was a prisoner with them till Sep
TENDER, $780, During all the fifteen
years he was captive he suffered untold
hardships, and his repeated attempts to
escape were rewarded by his body being
literally peppered with bullets. In his
attempts to escape he was shot fourteen
times; and now carries Ill his body two
four-ounce silver balls, four lead balls,
and one copper ball. The latter he re-
ceived while attempting to escape on the
10th of September. 1880.
On that day the band of Indians hav-
ing him in charge were captured by the
Mexicans and all condemned to death.
He appealed to Consul General Foster
for protection as United States citizen,
and just as the Mexicans were adjusting
the rope around his neck Consul Fosters
orders for his release reached him, and
he was spared. He was sent to New
York on United States steamer, and as
he could find no relatives living at Little
Falls. he started for Ohio on foot. He
showed reporter a four ounce silver
ball which DR.. Mott, of New York, ex-
tracted from one of his wounds. The
wound made from the copper ball is in
his left breast, and the flesh and skin, as
well as his finger nails, are copper-col-
ored. The sloughings from the wound
are colored green from the verdigris con-
tanned in the fluids, and the physician
told him that the acid fluids of the body
would gradually convert the ball into
verdigris, and it would thus be expelled
from the system, although the wound
would never heal.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1881-07-01
How She FIXED Hin.

The young man was evidently honest
In his intentions, but three years of con-
slant counting had failed to overcome
his excessive bashfulness. They were
sitting in chairs at a respectful dis
lance apatt. Baid the voting tt1an, hay
ing spent five minutes in search Of a
subject:
Chow do you get along with your
cooking?"
"Nicely," replied the young miss.
"Tm improving wonderfully. L can
make splendid cake nows"
"Can you?" said the young man in a
pleased manner "what kind do you
like best?''
CT like one made with -four, and SUI
gar, and citron, and raisins, and cur
rants, and lots of those things, and
beautiful frosting on top, responded the
young miss.
Why, that's wedding CAKE" ex-
claimed the young man, neryously.
~ tdeaht Wedding" said the young
miss, shyly. lHF
They are published.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1881-07-01
Living and Diving.

The facts derived from the English
Registrar Generals accounts always pre-
sent topics of interest Of the three
countries, England is the most healthy,
Scotland being very close to it. In the
United Kingdom the annual death-rate
is in every AZ of the whole popula.
ton. Comparing the general morta lity
with that of a century ago, it is quite
discoverable that the duration Of life is
longer than at the former period in the
ratio of 80 to as. 1t may be said to have
then almost doubled. Between the three
distinct classes, the gentry, the trades or
professional people, or the artisans and
laborers, tbs tlargin Of balance is In
favor of the two last. A man with
handle to his name, because he pampers
himself, dies younger than does the
sturdy yeoman. When we study, how
ever, particular trades, we find the in
dividual mortality to be heavy. We all
know that those men who work on grind
ing tools die young, "high wages and
speedy death" being their motto. Men
who work up flint into powder for the
potteries are short lived; SO are those
who chip granite, with workers in fax
and woolens. Miners as body never
make old bones, the accidents Of their
calling not being taken into account
Whereas the lungs of a knife-grinder
are found to be all soft and spongy, O
miners lungs look as if they he'd been
dipped in ink. A good deal has been
said about the low death-rate of soldiers
and sailors-men killed in action having
nothing to do with the statistics. Sol
diers, though picked men, mostly die
young, and live but half life They
go off from diseases of the lungs and
dysentery. It is tnartinetship, o dull
life, routine and sameness of food that
kills them. The sailor is better off, but
he dies from accidents. In the English
navy, however, two-t thirds of the deaths
are from disease, while in the merchant
service two-thirds of the results of causes
other than disease. Stalking in grim
procession toward their graves, first
come bakers and after them the tailors.
Compositors, from careless habits, often
from badly ventilated rooms, die sooner
than the job printers, while pressmen
live to a good old age. Editors are long
lived, as are all literary people. A
tavern-keeper's life is poor one, and in
England he drops off at the rate of 80 in
1000, and after him comes the butcher
Your fat and forid butcher is a decep-
tive man; he looks strong, but he has
little stamina; he can not bend under
disease-he breaks. The brewers dray-
man in England, like the lager beer
driver here, looks well enough, but Or
ganically he is badly off. In England
his average age is only forty-three He
is early drowned in beer. Athletes are
short lived, and professional oarsmen,
cricketers, wrestlers, pedestrians, have
life averages which are quite low. All
this seems natural enough, and facts sub
stantiate theories; but how account for
it that scavengers, dus tmen, and the
cleansers of the sewers are among the
healthiest Of human beings?
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1881-07-01
As TO Wives.

1t is only when woman becomes a
wife you can see her true character. Be-
fore this epoch she is SO cramped in con-
ventionalities that her very sonl is kept
covered up, and the heart has no room
for healthy action. But the bonds are
broken on her wedding-day, when, from
chrysalis condition, she comes out a
butterfly, or a bee, or perchance wasp.
Then she begins to breathe freely, and
to aim at the supreme happiness of
womankind-tne having her own way.
The husband, still stiff in his own con-
ceit, is fairly startled and shaken with
the shock of a surprise. The meek and
modest maiden whom he courted SO cav
alierly soon shows him she is woman
with tongue and with a temper, and a
woman who will have her own way.
When he talks al ont home and happi-
ness and the duties of wife, all in cap
itals, she laughs at him for his inno-
cence, and wants to know if he would
treat her as a child, as did her nurse,
and her governess, and her mother, and
her chaperon, to keep up the proprie-
ties.
Possibly some of his over-weening
conceit is thus laughed out of him, and
he agrees to take his proper place as his
wife's husband, giving up with a sigh
the good old copybook and church-ser-
vice notices about being her lord and
master, and getting from her nothing
but honor and obedience. If this sensi-
BILE conclusion be quietly come to, all
may yet be well and should he bear
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1881-07-01
Ancient Uses of Skins and Leather

In these days of steel pens and note
PAPER but little thought is given to the
fact that our trade was among the first
to provide man with all article wherein
he 6JtIld inseribe the history of his times
and hand it down Intact and well pre-
served for the enlightenment OF future
generations. Many have forgotten, or,
perhaps, never knew, that the skin of
animals ana lesther in its manufactured
state, with avis and tkorns for pens,
comprised about the eHtifs stock in
trade of the ancient stationery store.
The skins most generally used for this
purpose were those OF the sheep, the goat
and the ass. The Persisns of old en-
ployed their for writing their records, as
did also the ancieft I5nians. Buchanan
found in India acopy of law written on
a roll of leather fifteen feet long; and
mat1~ similar rolls are known to exist,
some extending to the extraordinary
length of 100 feet. EYsn fish skins
were not despised. The Mexicens en-
ployed them also. Pergament, or parch-
ment, as we now call it, takes its name
from it's being first used by Eumenes,
King Of Pergamus, about 800 years be-
fore the Christian sra,
It is said that the immediate cause of
the introduction of parchment was a de-
cision on the part of Ptolemy, King of
Egypt, to prohibit the expectation of
parchment from that country. This
caused Eumenes to incite his subjects
to discover a substitute Many writers
hold that Eumenes was not the cause of
the origination of parchment, but of the
improvement of the old membrane, or
parchment of the inferior kind. At any
rate, it is from the introduction of
parchment or vellum that we date the
first step toward the modern form of
books.
Membrane, an inferior kind of parch-
ment, was also used. In order to pre-
pare this, the skin was separated be-
tween the hide and the flesh, and, by
working and rubbing with quicklime,
was formed into leaves fit for the pur-
poses of the writer. This form of writ
ing material was extensively employed
by the Hebrews and the Greeks.-ShOe
and Leather Reporter.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1881-07-01
Why He Changed His Mind.

The following is an actual occurrence:
A "broth of a boy" died on the Hill,
and Mr.. Moriarty dressed himself in his
best and went to view the ''corroupse. I"
He had new shiny black beaver hat last
st. Patrick's Day. Entering the abode
of SORROW, he held the glossy tile care
fully before him, crossed the floor and
deposited it with great care upon chair
at the head of the coffin. Then wiring
ing his hands mournfully, he turned to
the weeping mother saying:
''Shure, Mrs. Mallory, ids q great loss
ye hev been til. I'm full of dhe sorrow
fur yez, but dhe Lords will be dune. :"
Then turning to the corpse, Mr. Mort
arty delivered himself thus: "Och, purity
bye, Tommy. Why did yez die. And
amt he purity in his new shirt ond shute
ov clothes An won't we miss him from
dhe corner fwhere he used to shtand
waitin' fur dhe girruls. Luke at him,
layin' there so swate, purity. Shure, ole
niver saw purifier corrupse. But the
Lords will be dune an [ must CO."
Turning away he found that a huge
woman was sitting rocking and weeping
in the chair where he had deposited his
precious plug hat. Speaking in sweet,
low voice, he inquired:
"Have yez seen me hat?" Noone re-
piled. A little louder, "Have any iv
yez seen me new hat % Noreply. With
still greater voice: "Fhere is me new
high hat?" The big woman reached
around under her and pulled out con-
certina-looking concern made of black
beaver, and tearfully remarked: els
dhis yer hat, Mr. Moriarty?" He reared
himself up. He jammed his fist into the
wrecked beaver in a vain attempt to
straighten it out; he gazed upon the
corpse and shouted: "Yis, dhat's me
hat and id be dhe day [ liver KEN in
till see SIGH an ugly corrupse as this wan.
It's dhe uggliest liver [ saw, an good
radiance. Then he walked out.-Jer-
seq city J0l~naL
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1881-07-01
A New Vay to Kill Stage Robbers.

AS there is no reason to suppose the
stage robbers intend to retire voluntarily
to the shades of private life very soon,
and as there is not much dan
ger of their being compelled to
do so, we, ourselves, have determined
to put a stop to the business. We
have written to persons in Western
Texas whom we suspect of designing to
send us original poetry, to forward the
manuscript in registered package by
stage. The stage robbers are in the
habit of opening and examining regis
tered packages. After this, when
stage is robbed, and any of our original
poetry is stolen, all the authorities viii
have to do will be to send out wagon
to the scene of the robbery, and bring
in the bodies of the highwaymen who
have been bored to death. They deserve
all they get.-Ieras Siftings.