davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1881-10-08
His Last DrinIf

tNo, gentlemen, J. don't want
ANYTHING to drink tonight" said
a young man the other night
when Invited by several friends
to Join an imbibing circle. II
have been in Little Rock for the
last year, and ! must confess that
1 have been guilty OF excuses that
would deeply grieve my mother
were she to hear Of tiem.n
rOh, come on, John; just have
one drink with the boys" plead
a member of the party. 1--WE are
on ahigh tonight, but tomorrow
morning we Will come arouad all
right. Hang it, eant't you trust
yourself 10 have little fun ONCE
IN awhile2 You're an ambitious
young fellow, but take the history
of the world, take the literature OF
England, for instance, and show
me man vino didn't have his fun
occasionally. 1 can drink or let it
alone, and you bet your life when
| get with crowd of lively fellows
l am not going to let Il chance fer
fun slip me. Blamed little we see
any way
FITS different with me, boys.
When / begin drinking l don't
know when to stop"
"Stop when we do" urged the
pleader.
"I'll tell you what I'll do, said
the young man. Il will drink
with you tonight, but this is my
last | must quit; will never be
any account unless | do. Give me
little whiskey and lemon. Well,
here's fun"
"l'm one of the best men in the
town." exclaimed the young man
few hours later as he sat in the
saloon alone. His friends urged
him to 20 t., bed, and had endeaV-
ored to take him from the saloon,
but, falling, had gone away. "This
is my last drunk" he exclaimed.
"Here, old partner," addressing a
topper who had just entered, "have
drink with me. Pm one OF the
best fellows in the country. I've
got as much money as anybody,
and Pm not afraid of hades or high
water. Fact is, / do not take
enough Water.o and the young
man and the topper laughed until
the salloon-keeper told them that
unless they made less noise he
would eject them from the house.
"No, sir, I'll never get drunk
again." exclaimed the young man.
81 have heard you say that of
ten," said friend who approached
and prevailed upon him to go to
| bed.
"No, Pm not going to bed now.
But really this is my last drunk.
1 know that I've said it before, but
| mean it this time. Don't /, old
boy ?" and as he slapped the old
topper until water ran from his eyesl
"I'll hold up my right hand and
swear it. Here in the presence Of
these witnesses and the Great Crea.
tor of life, 1 swear that I'll new.
er get drunk again."
Leaving the saloon late at night
he reelcd into an alley and fell
Next morning policeman found
him, dead. in his hand he held {
photograph, on which was this in
scriptiOn;
$40 John From his devoted
mother"
He had truthfully spoken. HI
will never get drunk again.
Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1881-10-08


and the bridesmaids were fitted cut
with money given by the insurance
agents for the privilege Of taking
out policies. You see that as soon
as a party becomes insured he can
marry, but his policy won't be pay
able until q year lapses. l have fig
urcd out the profits, say on Il policy
of $1,000. The agent makes a pres
ent to the man who is TO marry,
say of $50; the policy Will cost him
$40, and the transfer or assignment,
81 /; total, 500. His man then mar
RES, and in a years time the COM
pany promises to pay cash from
1850 to $4O0 per thousand, say 81
750 for a 5000 policy. The cOmpa-
ny raises this money by assessing
other members of the class who are
not married. II the companies
keep their word the agents will
make handsome profits OH their III
vestsments, if they don't keep their
word it won't hurt US. The bust
ness must pay, and the agents must
have confidence in the companies,
because they make daily calls on all
ministers and dress-inakers to find
out who is going to be married. OF
course, the agents don't keep all the
policies they get hold of. They sell
them at high advance and invest
the profits in other policies. /
know these things, because have
gone through the hands of fifteen
of them. Nearly every couple that
is married nowadays is insured.
The business has spread into nearly
every Circle of society, from the
highest to the lowest. Tile poorest
young people now can afford to
have the grandest weddings. l
know of a wedding that is to come
off Just before Christmas that will
open the eyes of the people. The
| bride and groom are insured for
over $500, 000, and as they are very
poor they don't hold a single policy.
/ ! believe they got about 81 300 cash
/ in advance from the policy holders,
who are mostly rich farmers and
agents. The young couple are go
ing TO have very grand wedding
in church, the grandest that ever
took place in the church, and city
minister will perform the ceremony.
The bride is cigar factory girl and
the husband works for huckster.
Both OF them are odd characters,
and say they are going to give the
people something to talk about.
Over 1000 invitations are to be
sent out, and the idea is to have a
number of newspaper reporters
present at the wedding and banquet.
Our wedding was to have been this
way, but we concluded to have
our house furnished, as that was
the most sensible thing. The couple
that l am talking about desire to
create a sensation, and l suppose
they will succeed. The brides
dress is to be a Iong-tailed affair,
and twelve of her lady friends are
going to get new white dresses, q
cost $40 each, all to be bought by
the bride. They are going to have
carpet laid from the church door
across the sidewalk to the street,
and there will be no end to flowers,
laurel, cedar, pine, cakes and wine
This sort Of wedding promises &c
be very common in a few years
The graveyard business is slowly
playing out, and the new marriage
business is looming up as the latest
sensation"
Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1881-10-08
THE OLD METHODIST TEsTImO
Nashville Advocate.

praise the Lord, my Christian friend.
That 4 am with you still,
Though standing Ike am old Lighthouse
Upon Western hill
The music hfss gone out, you know,
The timbcfs have decayeti,
Bnt sun shines ON 'efn just as warm
As when utey first We're laid
Almost a hundred years have passed
Since was born, and then
Twas only hfteen further on
And i was born again.
I've seen the forest melt away,
Nice houses have been reared;
The world has outstripped the church
I'm very much afcar'd.
They used to tell a Methodist
AS FAR as eyes could scan
No geYvgaWg on a woman then,
No dielcy on man;
But now our congregations are
80 much by fashion led,
They looked Just like n rainbow
Wrecked on a poscy bed
The circuit rider of them days
Were not so fine and grand;
They took degrees in hauling logs
And clearing mp tae land,
But when one Of 'em rose up to preach
tell you we could smell
The fragrant flowers Of heaven
And the sitting smoke OF hell.
We had an @Amen corner, too,
Beside the pulpit stairs,
And while he raised his Sermon-Dents
We lifted with our prayers;
We threw I'm many loud "1hank Godt''
And were not Obliged TO go,
To give the Lord the glory,
To the classroom down below.
The old quarterly meetings
Were 70 all the brethren dear,
Just like four green Gases
In the desert Of the year.
Tie people hOckeu from miles around
My wife would take n score,
And after supper we would pray,
And sleep upon the floor.
i know the worlds q movin' on,
AS Calico said,
For now ! rent q cushioned pew
To hear an essay read;
But when through stained-glaSs windows
The sun throws blue and gold,
cannot help a-thinking how
The glory shOneOf old!
They call me an @old fossil"
And "a relic Of the past"
A "fOgy" and a scroaker," too,
But this won't always last,
tread @ trembling isthmus
Where seas OF giory roll,
And soon tile past with future bliss
VIII swallow up the soul.
And when reach fair Canaan,
The Lord will doubtless See
That mansions in the city Will
Not do for such as me;
So lie will let me go among
The Old-fashioned saints, think,
And praise Him meath the Tree OF Life
Upon the rivers brink.
Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1881-10-08
Lie Can't he Fo,lnh.

The man who boasts that he has
never lost an hours sleep on ac-
count of a woman; who swears he
never sent a valentine or penned a
love letter. spent n months salary
in Scoring his sweetheart, or made
an eternal fool of himself generally
on account of pair of eyes or a
pretty mouth, is the kind of chap
who would steal his mothers we'd
ding ring and pawn it for the pur-
pose of lending out money on usury.
The Capital.
Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1881-10-08
Adjustable nInndcr.
Galveston News,


A short time since Il we'll known
young gentleman of this city, with
a friend, left by steamer for New
Orleans Before starting he tele-
graphed to a friend i'm the Crescent
City: "Settle and l leave by steam
err; secure us a good ROOM" When
the dispatch was received it read
"Sallie and j, ;" so the recipient,
thinking his young friend had en-
braced the happy estate, went to
the st. Charles Hotel, secured the
bridal chamber, aud upon the ar
rival of the boat was at hand with
the handsOmest turnout he could
procure to convey the couple to the
hotel. Imagine his disgust when
he saw the innocent twain for
whom he gone to so much trouble
descend the gang-plank. Wheth-
er the traditional bottle of wine
was INDUCED over the blunder is
not recorded but as all parties are
Galvestonians the joke is highly
enjoyed among the dwellers on
who i'm the dog days
study how to enjoy life as best they
can.
Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1881-10-08

IT is singular, but IA true remark,
in late work, that Jefferson was
born Just eight years after his pred
ecessor, Adams; Madison eight
years after Jefferson; Monroe eight
years after Madison; and John
Quincy Adams eight years after
Monroe. Another curious flct to
be observed is, that Adams WIS Just
sc years when he retired Jefferson
was St Madison &C Monroe GO
John Quincy Adams, had hss been
elected to Il second term, would
have been 66. Adams, Jefferson
and Monroe all died on the 18th of
July.
THE Memphis Avalanche says 1t
will not require three years for Ar
thur, Grant and Conkling to smash the
republican party. It is safe to say
they win do il in less than half that
time,
"Never,v said an irish orator
'write an anonymous letter with
out signing your name to il"
choice Extracts from Druggists.
I'VE know the value Of malt,
hops, calisaya and iron composing
Malt Bitters.'
Our lady customers highly praise
them.'
physicians prescribe them i'll this
town
The largest bottle and best med
icine.'
BEST blood purifier ON our shelves. ;
Our best people take Malt Bit
ters.'
Sure cure for chills and liver dis
eases.
Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1881-10-08
SGRoErEA

Hon. VIM. Taylor, Boston, says: q After
three months use of the CU'rICURA RENE
DIES and twelve years of as constant suffer-
ing from humor of the face, neck and scalp
as was ever endured; l can say that am
cured, and pronounce my case the most re-
narkable on record. ] have been so elated
with my success that L have stopped men
on the street who We're afflicted and told
them to get the Cuticura Remedies and they
would cure them.
Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1881-10-08

OLIVER BRAGDoN, of Franklin,
Me-, who is above ninety years of
age, was taken prisoner during the
war of 1912 and carried to Halifax
where he was kept till the close of
the war. He is still in excellent
health, retains all his faculties, and
is able TO perform daily labor.
Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1881-10-08

II Noah had foreseen the future,
and killed the two mosquitoes
which took refuge in the ark, he
would have rendered some of the
strongest words in the English lam
guage unnecessary.
Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1881-10-08
CJTTGUR-A--

Cuticura Remedies are for sale by
all druggists. Price of Cuticura, med
boxes, ST. Cuticura Resolvent, the new
blood purifier, 81 per bottle. Cuticura
Soap (the queen of medicinal and tot
let Soal1sA 25c. Cuticura Medicinal Shaving
Soap I5c.; in bars for BARRIERS and large con-
sumers, so. Principal depot,
WEEKS Il POTTER, Boston, Mass.
ng5- All mailed free on receipt OF price.
Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1881-10-08

THE man who bought the main
centennial building at Philadelphia for
$4,000 says that he has sold it to a
syndicate of Pittsburg and other capt.
talists for $4,000
Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1881-10-08
e=rnr nrsE \ Sc

beyond all description from a skin disease
which appeared on his hands, head and
face, and nearly destroyed his eyes. The
most careful doetoring failed to help him,
and after all had failed he used the CUTI-
CURA REsOLVENT internally, CUTICURA anu
CUTICURA SOAR externally, and was cured,
and has remained perfectly well TO this day.
Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1881-10-08
PSORIASIS

H. f. Carpenter, Esq, Henderson, n. Y,
cured of Psoriasis or LeprOsy, OF twenty
years standing, by the CUTTCURA REsoL-
cURA SOAP externally. The most wonder
fuI case on record. Cure certified TO before
ajustice ofthe peace and prominent citizens
All afflicted with Itching aud Scaly Dis
eases should send to us for this testimonial
in full.
Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1881-10-08
sALE RE-EuA1:.

gratefully acknowledges a cure of salt
Rheum ON head, neck, face, arms and legs
for seventeen years; not able to walk eX-
cent on hands and knees for one year not
able TO help himself for eight years; tried
hundreds OF remedies; doctors pronounced
his case Hopeless; permanently cured by the
Cuticura Remedies.
Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1881-10-08

THE CUTICURA TREATMENT, for the
cure of Skin, Scalp and Blood Diseases,
consists in the internal use of CUTICURA
REsoI.YENr, the new blood Purifier, and the
external use OF CUTIcURA and CUrICURA
SOAP the Great Skin Cures.
For Sunburn, Tan and Greasy Skin use
CUTTCURA SOAP, an exquisite toilet, bath
and nursery sanative, fragrant with deli
cious Hover odors and healing balsams.
Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1881-10-08
JUNIORS

Mrs. s. E. Whipple, Decatur, Mich, writes
that her face, head and SOME parts OF her
body were almost raw Head covered with
sca6s and sores. Suffered fearfully and
tried everything. Permanently cured by
Enficnrn RampdieS.
Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1881-10-08
Saturday, October s, 1881,
Sale Of Town Lots.

On Monday Sept. 5, 1881, 1 will sell to the
highest bidder at the Court House door, in
GAINESVILLE, Tenn, 4 Town Lots, known as
Iege street, being the same now occupied by
Mrs. Margaret Sampson. This property is
bounded on the south by b. w. Macrae's lot
and on the north by the S. Kellogg lot.
TERMS-One-third cash, the remainder
in one and two years with interest from
date with good security and lien retained.
GEO. Z. MARTIN, Agent.
August 20, ISSl-3t.
Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1881-10-08

THIS census of India has been COM
pleted and shows population of
Dc, 10000
Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1881-10-08
T. A. THOMAS,
Fire 6 Life Insurance Agent
GAINESVILLE, TENN.

Desiring to build up a permanent InsuI
ance business and make GAINESVILLE my III
ture home, very respectfully request my
old friends and the community generally 10
call on me and give me n reasonable share
companies. For Life Insurance, offer Que
of tile best in the world and permanent as
the Bank of England. Policies indispdtable
and non-forfeiting, THE EQUITABLE
LIFE of the US. Office at Hay d Hyman S
Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1881-10-08
ARKANSAS AND LOUISIANA!
The South-Western immigration Co.

Z &C a week in your own town. Terms
pUU and SIS outfit free. Address
IL. HALLErT s. Co., Portland, Maine.
Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1881-10-08
GEORGE WOODSON
GAINESVILLE, TENN.

Work done on short notice. The cheapest
briclSiayer i'm the city. Orders left nj G. NJ
BAIslS ER'S wiz be promptly attended, 20.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1881-08-15

tradlcted angrily by the press and individual
British officers in the East, but was never dis
proved in a single assertion. 1t stated, as our
readers will recollect that the present impov-
erished condition of Japan was largely owing
to the confidence with which her TOO credulous
people had intrusted the framing of her foreign
relations to "a single man, a well-meaning but
ignorant OF careless American, who placed the
tariff on foreign manufactures at so low rate
rs scarcely to pay the expense of collection.
Lord Elgin in the treaty with England coaxed
or compelled the helpless Japanese to make q
still further reduction cotton and wooicn
goods, bringing down the duty from 20 per
cent to per cent al valorem. BY the terms
laid down by the American, there could be no
alteration in the treaty unless the consent of
both parties was obtained; hence, although
Japan has slowly been bled to death by free
trade she has not been able to induce the pow
erful nations who were growing rich by her
losses to consent to juster arrang cement.
The utmost concession made was by the United
States, which promised consent to a revision as
soon as that of other nations was obtained.
A formal demand for revision of this treaty
how twenty three years old--was made by
the Japanese of foreign Powers last winter,
and, far as England is concerned, is still
Judging from the tone of articles in the English
press there is little chance that the request will
be granted. The increase of tariff demanded"
says The Spectator, would make it practically
prohibitivc to the foreign trade generally and
to ours in particular" "The Japanese cannot
expect us to agree with them when they adj
vance unreasonable pretensons and ignore the
teachings of all experience in their demands"
hat are these unreasonable pretensions p
Every other nation has the right to decide
whether her ports shall be free to foreign trade
or not. Japan alone is to be forced to keep
them free against her will because it is to the
interest of Great Britain to force her goods
upon her, and because she is not strong enough
to resist The tariff was laid down for her
when her people scarcely knew the meaning
OF the word customs. In twenty-three years
she aSsuredly has had sufficient of the teach
ing of experience" to learn what is desirable
tor her. Whether she has or not, or whether we
agree or not with her in thinking that a higher
tariff would be beneficial to her, she assurcdly,
with all other nations, has the right 20 control
her OWN ports Of entry and when Great britain
OF the United States, any other of the
Powers in treaty with her, refuses her this rig
she simply takes fraudulent advantage of the
confidence which, on first establishing relations
with the world, Japan unwscly placed in her,
ana asserts the law of brute force over weak
ness.
The concession of this act of bare instice
would be tlitiing matter to any of the great
Powers concerned, but it is a question of life
and death to Japan
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1881-08-15
PERSOAdL.

Secretary Hunt has been Inspecting the Norfolk
Navy lard &C olnpanied BY his son, three Of tie
Garheid children, and the little Rockwclls.
Alexander Barns graninephew Of the poet. died
m Louisville Last week. lie was one of the oldest
and most capable engineers on the Wesiera waters.
Direct descendants Of John Alden and Mics
siandsh and bearing the very names said - be
living at Duxbury, Mass, place that was allotted
10 those TWO pilgrims.
The late Mrs. Millard Fillmore was a cultivated
and benevolent woman, practical and active IN her
goodness. She was little person and had in her
youth a right a ID pretty face.
letter written in S46 to roung all aspiring
poct By y. Z. Willis has just been pubIsed in gAe
Boston advertiser. M. willis declares in this INFER
estiDg epis,le that be Oud always advise against
adopting The literary pro eSsion, and he adds:
Poetry IS an angel in your breast, and Won had
better not turn her out to be your maid IF ali WORK
As 10 writing for magazines. that is very nearly
zone wItn as matter OF lrOfit. The com Dctifion
Tor notor,ety alone gives the editors tnan they
use You coala not sell piece Of poetry now m
America. a he literary avenues are al Ov.rcrowsed
a newspaper"
A pleasant little reminiscence Of Mr. Webster
iold Oy an elderly lady. Is quoted by a correspond
emit of The PrcCsdesoe Press. When only eight years
old she met morning a handsome man. whose
deep eyes asad massive head she had seen represen ed
in pictures hung upon her Wing fathers wall So
impressed was she Dy this fsce and lhe wonderful
eyes that She stared with all her might a. the great
statesman, and he meeting this intense regard from
the childish eyes returned the gaze with some curl
oSty. Presently the little maiden comes 10 a stand
still. 81 verify believe was magneiized" she says
now laughingly-" nagnetized not only by those
great eyes, but by nay own Imagination which had
been fired by the herO-woTship had heard chamted
concerning ie rasn ali NV little life Coming 20 a
standsti she brings the hero also 10 a pause while
smile lights up has face. What does the little maid
desire of himf She only wants "a shake hands with
Daniel Webster, whose face she knows from her
fathers pictures. and whose name and fame she
knows and loves from her fathers nps into what
childish phrase she pat tins she does know, bar
ole recalls Tie soft lOO IN the decJ eyes The gentle
touch upon her hand and head a ID check and The
pleasant voice and pleasant words. - : orty old
years ago she SAYS but can stand there In the
sunshine now ana 1--we n all over, and shall love
Daniel Webster TO the end of nay days.
LoNDoN, Aug 1s.-Mr. James Edwin Thorold
Rogers, Liberal member of Parliament for soufh
wayk. sailed for New York on The Cnnard sieafu.1
Batavia, leaving Queenstown to-day.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1881-08-15
NemUork Daily Gribataae.
SOUNDED HORACE GREELEY.
MONDAY, AUGUST Is, 1881.
TIE NEWS THIS MORNING.

FOREIGN.-The French war fleet sailed from
Tunis yesterday for France.- German papers
supporting the Government deny that Bismarck has
submitted to the will of the Pope.-- The RusSky
Herjer, Russian newspaper, has been sus-
pended for publishing political news. -
Conservative English peers are attempting TO make
a compromise with the Government concerning some
of the sections of the bill to reform the Irish land
laws.
DoMEsTIC.--The Presidents condition remained
on the whole, unchanged yesterday. - The
Austin and Southeastern Railroad Company, CAPT
tai rs, O00, 900, filed its charter Saturday 60 1t
is reported that the Denver and Rio Grande
Railroad and the Chicago, Burlington and
Quincy Rail Companies have agreed to build
together the Burlington and Missouri Road to Den
YER Col - Thenew direct line of the Wabash
Railroad between st. Louis and Detroit was opened
yesterday. - The National Convention of Rail
tober IL. - The Soldiers and Sailors National
Reunion will be held at Cincinnati September ID
10 and 16.
CITY AND SUBURBAS.--A memorial service for
Captain Smith, of the Seawauhaka, was held yes
terday at Sea Cliff, I. /. - The service at St
Stanislaus's Church was conducted without dis
turbance. - Many people went TO Couey Island
and other pleasure resorts - Secretary Lincoln
was in town and talked with TRIBUNE reporter
THE WEArHER-TRIBUNE local observations indi-
cate generally fair weather and slight changes in
temperature. Thermometer yesterday: Highest
10; lowest, GO; average, 71a40.