Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1881-08-05
In A NUTSHELL.

Why are pianos the nOblest of man.
ufactured articles? Because they are
upright, grand and square.
Don't be afraid" said a snob to a
German laborer; sit down and make
yourself my equal 81 would half to
blow my prains oud," was the reply of
the Teuton.
He asked Cincinnati belle if there
was much culture in that city, and she
replied. 'You just bet your boots we're
cultured crowd"
A French engineer, after a series of
experiments with loaf of bread baked
by Vassar college girl, now announces
that the project of tunneling Mount
Blanc is entirely practicable.
European tours will soon become un-
fashionable. The horrible discovery
has been made that it IS cheaper to
summer in Europe than at an Ameri-
can watering place.
An 0swego girl, on being told that
her Ease hair was coming off, replied
that 1t was no such thing, as she didn't
wear false hair. And then she went
and looked in the mirror
Letters from West Africa concern
ing SANKEY'S expedition show that he
is is pushing his way toward the inte-
rior under many difficulties. cutting a
road over mountains which are very
steep, at an angle of sixty degrees, and
making 7ery slow progress
Courtney has left the carpenters
bench, locked up his saw, and is prac-
ticing. with cabbage leaves in his hat
and liver pad under his vest, on Cav
uga BufdLo Ne,cs.
The American navy is not large. but
1t is large enough TO furnish sixty Off
GERS, with their families, on summer
duty at that seat Of arduous naval la
bors, Newport.
The city pumps of Chicago supplied
II 100000 gallons of water 10 the in
habitants every day last week. This is
the greatest amount Of water supplied
to any American city except New
York.
During the rage in Montreal for tick
cts to Bernhardts performance, a
young lawyer named Lavielette was ar
rested for obstructing the thoroughflre
at the ticket Office. He was shortly af-
ter discharged, but he brought an ac-
ton against the city for false arrest a. q
recovered $500 and costs.
A saloon-keeper in New London.
Conn, whose lost pocket book, con
tanning nearly S400, was returned to
him by the finder, impulsively ex-
claimed You pees Won honest poy;
| will shake nit you for de drinks. y
And they 'shook," and the honest boy
lost and paid.
Tuehmann & Co. of London have in
vented fire extinguishing preparation
which can be kept in powder or solu-
ton. They claim that it is not only
more speedy and etfectual in action
than water, but that nothing once
sprinkled with it will ignite. 1t excites
much attention.
A man was found lying unconscious
under a tree, the other day, with three
ribs broken and a severe cash in his
left cheek. In his pocket was found a
little book entitled GLOW to Avoid Ac-
cidents, and What to Do When They
Occur" The injured man evidently
forgot that he had the timely little
volume about him.
Mr.. Timelytopic and Mr.. Verybusy
met on the street. and after few min
utes conversation on business matters
Mr.. 1imelytopic asked Mr.. Verybusy
if he had seen the comet yet, and was
surprised when the latter replied that
he had not, as he had been out OF town
couple of weeks.
Little Johnny had been caught by
his aunt teasing fly. Johnny" said
she, "supposing some great beast 4
thousand times bigger than yourself
should tease you, and perhaps eat you
all up - Il hope" said Johnny, "he'd
feel as bad as | do when | swallow a
fly"
In the garden two 6-year-old chill
dren, a girl and Il boy, exchanged Wig
orous blows and scratches. meanwhile
eliminating each other at the top of
Mamma intcrferes, and, after much
difficulty succeeds in separating them
What IN the name of goodness are
you up to, you unhappy little wretch
esp Playing husband and wife, mat"
AT the Bagshot fancy fair, in which
royalty shared so active part, young
gentleman took fancy to certain ar
ticle, and remarked to lady at the
stall that it was very pretty. She as
scented, adding My mother sent it. !"
Really" softly resumed the customer.
'Whv, let me see; | almost think |
must have met your mother Her
name is-?' 'The Queen" replied the
"saleslady"
A gang of tramps have taken pos
session Of Lamar Place, Pa, and are
making it very unpleasant for the in
habitants. They have regular camp
and live well, stealing calves, pigs,
fowls, hams, and vegetables by the
wholesale, and begging bread, salt, pep
per and butter from the farmers wives.
They also milk the farmers cows
She damned hairpin in her head
It made her feel quite sore
She murmured in an undertone.
!" rwon't hairpin any more
Her lover heard this dreadful Jest
And cried in deeD distress:
That pun my darling, pom my word
Has wrecked my hairpiGess,"
This couple. joined the Ministries then,
But they were not desired.
For all their jokes were new and good
And they. of course, We're fred,
Mrs. Nellie G. Nelson, of Sutton, r.
H., recently obtained very large hens
egg, and on breaking it found that it
contained the white but none of the
yolk of an egg, but in addition to this
there was still another egg. She broke
this second egg and found the same
condition of affairs as when she broke
the larger shell. and breaking the third
egg il was found to be filled with white,
but no yolk, making three eggs in one,
none OF which contained any yolk.
An Els Hunt in Oregon.
Albany f0re.) Democrat.
One day last week r. F. Mcknight,
proprietor of the pleasure resort at
Lower Soda Springs, started out with
his son Charley TO hunt for elk across
the santiam from the springs. After
going a few miles they discovered an
elk, and Charley succeeded in killing it.
They skinned it. and taking part of
the meat on their backs and covering
the remainder up, came home. After
coming home they thought some wild