Daily Republican., 1881-06-28
THE LIME KILN CLUB.
Brother Gardner "n Religious S'a.
tistfcs-MissiOn naries at Home.

Detroit Free Press.
"Some one has kindly sent me some
| VERY interestin' statistics on religious
affairs " BEGAN the President us he held
up phaInphlet. "It giks de numpcr
Of con verts in India, Africa, China an
Japan doorin' de las var; it gibs de
number of Sunday schools in America;
it gibs de number Of Christians III each
Sta.e in de Union; it gibs ue amount OF
money collected for de heathenS, an de
number of Bibles an TestamentS prin-
ted las var While | am very much
obIipe to de unknown donor, | mus
confess my disappointment at not find
in fuller particklers. For instance,
how MANY Americans war saved las
var? | can't fin de tiggers. l can
fin dat one single clergyman, Went
down among de poo an lowly an
saved soul from perdishun. While
dey am cryin' ober de heathnn across
de sea America has 25,OO0, 900 sinners.
For eberv sermon delibered i'll favor
of maxim heathun converts abroad
America has ten murders, hundred
robhcries an no end of smaller crimes.
Show me clergyman who stands in his
pulpit an sheds tears ober de niggers of
Africa. Has any preacher in Detroit, or
Chicago. or New York saved de soul Of
one single home heather dis las var ?
Has any congre2ashun raised a single
nicklo to convert gamblers, thieves,
prostitutes an, defaulters to Christian
ity? While our ministers shed tears
ober de darkness which reigns in Egypt,
one fifth ofour population make Sunday
a holiday. / kin walk out on dat day
an see races, games, excursions, open
stores, fights, riots an drunkenness
Who could see more i'll Africa? Ebery
day read of murder, robbery, arson
an plunder. Kin it be any worse in
China? Ebcry newspaper are full OF de-
velopments, decalcationS an scandals.
Am society in Japan any worse?
"I tell you, my frens, dar am heap
in de Bible dat am all right, an dar am
a heap in dis-caIirl Christianity dat AN
all wrong. Christianity that will send
thousands of dollars obcr de sea an let
white women at home Shiber cold an
hunger fur bread isn't founded on de
Bible. Christianity dat breaches virtue
an den furnishes a list OF 22S church
scandals in II single var cannot be re-
spcctod. Christianity dat Sniilles ODE.
de poo an yet leaves dem widout Il
visit or a word or nod aZh purity thin
stuff. Christianity dat holes noon
PRAYER mcetinS down tO"n an beats
its renT, water tax, an' gaSS bills up
town hain't de sort Pm lookin' arter.
dat keeps away from the
wick ed theatre, an owes de grocer for
six months. de butcher for a var an
makes SEWN gal do SO WORT Of work
for about 81, won't be Encouraged i'll dis
clrb.
Eyes, Pse much ohlopged to de pussun
who sent me dis lee;le book, but shall
Sill cling to my belief dat when de day
of Judgment finally arrOves de Lawd
rJill have 10 trou )le!1 pickin' out tht
hypocrites an liars from the arnest, con,
scienshus Christian "diskivered in the
crowd. say muffin agin pure religuI;
l say muffin agin clean pulpits, say
muffin agin squar' Christians. But when
dat las da rolls 'r0an' I'd sooner stan
befo' de Lawd charged wild highway
robbery dan wild havin' been shlm
Christian an Il s&uctimOniouS htPo
critic"