Daily globe., 1881-06-05
PITH AND POINT.
A NOISY towel-A crash.

A NOISY towel-A crash.
As A general thing young lawyers
don't have many trying times.
ONE way for an actress to lose her
good name is to put it on her handket-
chief.
WHEN mining operations begin to pan
out, it is generally in vein to look for
dividends.
1T is remarkable fact that one meets
the greatest inn attention at the best
kept hotels.
ADAM ought to have said Hardly
Eva, when he was tempted to bite the
apple.
IT is little singular that family jars,
old as the Garden of Eden, have never
been added to ceremic collections.
SOME fellow has found out that the
highest timepiece ever adjusted was
When the sentinel stars hung their
watch in the sky
WHAT utter nonsense to speak of stock
reports Every child knows the report
does not come from. the stock, but from
the barrel.
AN cid proverb says: "The anvil lasts
probably the only consolation the under-
most man in fight has.
A NEVADA girls love letter" Dear
Jimmy: It's all up. We amt going to
get married. Ma says you're too rough,
and I guess sLe's ri ight. I'm sorry-but
can't you go to Europe and get filed
DOWN."
The Oneida community, at niagara
falls, is going to build a spoon factory.
There is so much "spooning" by bridal
couples at Niagara falls that such a
factory may be necessary there.-Nor-
1'jstolCn Herald.
BEAUTIFUL maid in Carlisle
On the back OF her neck had bis,e,
When her lover forgot,
And hugged the spot.
Fer screams could be heard for amsle.
The Norristown Herald hopes that the
time is near at hand when patent corn
shelter, two threshing machines, a
bed quilt, foot race, soap peddler
and horse trot will not make one county
agricultural exhibition.
"THIs isn't a menagerie," sharply OBJ
served an irascible deacon to man who
was trying to force passage through
the crowd at church doorway. No,
7 presume not" returned the stranger,
cor they wouldn't leave any of the ami
mails to block up the entrance"
AT fire in London, while the en-
pines were discharging their contents
against the front OF house, an inscrip-
=. ,1aa1lxy nllIJ4os-safa1
"By my sowl,' exclaimed witty Irish
man. "this is a queer time for a joke.
"And who is joking?" growled one OF
the fremen. "Why, don't you see,
honey, how you are playing upon
words % replied Pat.
AN INQUIRY.
He stood bronzed and battered FORM,
Within an old embraZure warm,
And leaned upon cannon old.
Half sunken IN the fragrant mold;.
Then turning from the rusty gun,
With help of crutch he tottered on
A sweet girl face looked up at him,
And sweet eyes scanned his aspect gr1my
And sweet voice said in culver low:
90 gallant warrior, do not go,
But tell me, tell me where you fought,
And where these fearful wounds were wrought
Vert sInitten in the furious tide,
That drenched in blood the baston's side?
Or fought upon the slippery deck,
And sang defiance from the wreck?
Or waved the starry banner high,
Bravey resolved to do or d1e?"
g Hold On, young gall" the veteran said:
II am whtewasher by trade;
Ineyer fit; this trouble is
InAammatory rheumatic"
THEY put lot of ignoramuses into
Jury box nowadays, and then attempt
to tickle mans vanity by telling him
that he is to be tried by jury of his
,,oorr No wonder so MANY criminals
commit suicide, rather than have such a
stigma cast upon their family name
Rochester Herald.
"WHAT is the difference between
canoes and intaglios? ~ asked a success
full broker of one of his lambs. Sim
ply this" replied the lamb; "since we
became acquainted my fortune is in in
taglio, and your cheek in cameo. That
is to say, my fortune is sunk and your
check stands out in relief Boston