The Hickman courier. [volume] (Hickman, Ky.) 1859-current, 1881-04-22
HUMORS OF THE DAY.

I THE song of the billiard ball: "Oi
carom me back,
The pantry cook sings "good pie,
sweet tart, good pie.
The play of Uncle Toms Cabin is all
on account of Eliza. Stowe this away.
"a SPLENDID ear, but poor voice, "
as the organ grinder said of the donkey.
How shall we reach the boys ?-Afrs.
LiUer1lore. Take little longer shingle.
MISS BRADDoN's latest work should be
dedicated to Eli Perkins. Its title is,
''Just as l Am, or A Living Lie. -
LOckport Union.
THEoDoRE MORE had married eight
different women. Sowhenever he joined
party of villagers in frolic they well
coined him with, 1.-The More, the mar
rier "-Ronle Sentinel.
LETTER from his well beloved to
young gummy: Finally, my ownest
own. understand that L love you more
for your defectsthan your moral qualities,
and thus judge of the boundlessness OF
my love for your
"Do you think, asked a college stu
dent of professor of theology, "that
the hon and the lamb have never yet
laid down together?" 81 don't know,
answered the professor, "but if they
have, / have no doubt that the lamb was
missing from that date.
A PASSENGER in getting off of a South
End horse car handed the conductor
three cents. Double that amount was
demanded. 'I shan't give you any
more," replied the passenger, 'for
have only ridden half as far as-l IN
/ tended. - boston Goitrser. -
SIR laid her cheek on the easy- ciiair-
| back against his head and murmured,
eHow / do love to rest thus against your
dear head, Augustus!" "Do yOu?" said
| he: sis it because you love me, darling. !"
ssNo: because it is so nice and softi'
Then he lay and lay, and thought and
thought.
A WOMAN will work a month to fabri-
cate protection for a chair, and then
when it is in place an edict is promptly
issued forbidding any man sitting on
that chair, through fear Of spelling the
tidy 1t is the best chair protector that
possibly could be desired. .-ROcheSte
! Courier.
An orator at a st. Patricks Day con.
vocation was heard to divest himself ei
the following: can fhere wud Oireland
be the day, eff the feyther ev st. Patrick
had tux it in his hid to shtay bachelor!
Be the same token she'd niver been
shrakin' Erin go brag, for divil thing
wud there be to brag about - YOnker'
Gazette.
A THOUGHTFUL mother christened hel
boy Ray" with the impression that i
would be difficult one for his compan
ions to nickname The first time the lac
returned home from school he informed
his gentle parent that the boys called
him "Snootsy," and the stunned woman
couldn't imagine how "Ray" could bt
corrupted into such a beastly appella
ton.
A PARTY of Chicago young ladies an6
gentlemen were sailing on the lake. a
heavy squall came on and capslzed thu
boat, but before she careened one of tht
young men, with great presence of mind
cried out: Throw yourshoes overheard
girls-quick. The suggestion was only
partly obeyed All those who managed
to lay hold of a shoe crawled into 1t an6
were saved. The rest were lost.-Gtobe
Democrat
Two country spinsters were stopping
at n friends house in Boston, after theil
return from a scientific lecture. The,
occupied the same apartment, and short
Iv after midnight one of them started
1iy, and awakening the other, exclaimed
in great trepidation: 'Betsey, 1 believe
4 there is a man under the bed" Betse,
Lmerely raised her finger in an admoni
1nAms.y. ap1rsplied: Don't make
= yaaI may scare hin