The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1881-03-02
HUMOROUS.

Goes against the grain--The reaping
- YGucOb Strauss.
Out of every 100 inhabitants in the
United States, sixteen live in cities.
The man who has gathered big ice
crop wants to keep it shady. -PEcdySI'1e-
He sighed for the wings of dove,
but had no idea that the legs were much
better eating.
We would rather hire mule than
own one on the principle, "Oftwo evils
choose the leased. y Boston Post.
The Rochester papers have good deal
to say about " elevated tracks" Cats
prowling over the roofs, we suppose
Syracuse Herald.
"When / die," said married man,
"I want to 90 where there is no snow
to shovel" His wife said that she pre-
sumed he would.
Ohio papers are discussing why quail
freeze to death. 1t is simply because
they can't afford to pay 81 ton for
coal. Philadelphia Chronicle.
Those who believe that the world
owes them a living don't stop TO con-
slider how many bad debts the old globe
has to shoulder. - Saturday Night.
A middle-sized boy, writing COM
position on Extremes" remarked that
1--WE should endeavor to avoid extremes,
especially those OF wasps and bees"
"What happy hours, sweet, Ispend,"
He sighs, 'alone with thee"
cts all" she says, 'you ever spend"
"Good EVENING" says he.
Detroit Free Press,
A party of $50 Chicago lawyers, gam
| blers, board of trade men and shoulder
| hitters, went out to Crystal lake to wit
ness a fight between couple of roosters.
| No disgrace, however, is attached to the
roosters. Milwaukee Sim.
a question of identity: :" Did the
prisoner at the bar strike your" Eye
| think So" replied the man with the
the Justice; " eye IDENTIFY established;
three dollars and trimmings. ."-Reobuk
Gate City.
A youngster, while warming his
hands at the fire, was demonstrated
with by his father, who said: $50
away from the fire-the weather is not
colds "I amt heating the weather.
Pm warming my hands," the little fell
low demurely replied.
"In the hour of danger woman thinks
|
True! When the thunder roars aud the
vivid lightning flashes, and the big
drops come down, the woman who is
caught out in the storm devotes her
agony to the thought that her hat and
ole: :swill be ruined.
An editor may write himself ''we" in
his editorials, and feel therefore doublY
proud and doubly srrong; but when he
gets home to dinner an hour or so late
and forgets to brilg something home tC
make that dinner, he doesn't feel any
larger than one. fourth of one person.
Kentucky State Journal.
A prudent and far-seeing mother
married her two daughters some years
ago 10 a plumber and an iceman, and
now, no matter whether there is mild
winter or a severe one, she has u box al
the charity bali, and spends the nex'
summer at Newport or goes TO Europe
with some one or the other of her sons
in-law .-NeD York Chic.
A tramp was being escorted dowr
Galveston avenue by one OF the mos
stylish policemen on the force. Z" hat'
9 TO walk along arm-in arm with
, policeman" said the tramp. "Yol
&. ought to be used to it by this time, re
!. plied the policeman. II can't get useC
8 to hearing people on the streels say
Just look at that vagabondP when
!, know they must mean one OF us. -
q GGLvestOfs NeSOs.
~ "George Peabody" says New, Yorl
= paper, Twas never married, and TOR
y Singular reason" Then il goes on a
u u some length to give the reason, becaus
% the girl married an( her man. And vi
" have read that artic4~ dozen times ant
4 have pondered over it deeply, ant
70 hanged if we can see yet why tina
70 should be called "a singular reason.
- We think it was a very sensible matte
of fact reason - BHYdeH
r They both went sailing down the walk,
Arrayed in taultless gearing,
AZ Both engaged in pleasant talk,
- Each smiled On each endearing.
u He said: " My love, this blithesome day,
This bracing, glorious weather,
Is This charming walk-Whoopl stop er-say
@ They both went down together
~
ie They picked them up, small boys ki-yi-ed
he When she resumed with dippery;
is e' Dear George, think tits not denied,
These charming walks are slippery"