Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1881-02-24
BOYS WILL BE BOYS.
serious Charge Against One Cove.
successfully Resisted-The way
To DO It-A Good Time.

10 DO lt--A Good Time,
The historical boys, with Prof. North
as aid-de-camp, also assisted by jaime,
DAILY, the tragedian, 10. Comply. ESQ
| Clerk OF the Court, and some Others
heid a moot court in the parlors of th,
rneips House. on Monday evening, ;
week ago. The subject for trial was I
young man who had hitherto lived with.
out the first breath of suspicion against
hlmi but at the time aforesaid he was
complained against as criminallv con.
spring and aiding in the attempt &c
break the peace of one Cole, by putting
bricks, empty bottles and stomach
pump in his bed; the particular aggra-
Walton in the case being the suggestive
character of the implements used, and
pointing evidently towards habits OF
dissipation on the part of complainant.
The court having assembled, the attor-
ney for complainant, Mr. Mathes, read
the complaint as follows:
| In COURT OF OVER AND Turnover
state o. Wisconsin, County Of Grant--ss Com
monweath Of Potosi and Phelps House VS. j. NJ.
| Personally appeared before me, the undersigned.
crowbait Judge in and for said county, A. II.
Cole, to me known to he the person who hereunto
aiixes his mark and beng dniy sworn deposes ana
/ says:
That on the 18th day of our Lord 1881. in the
dead hour Of the night, one, j. NJ. Cove, did wick
edly and maliciously agree with himself and con
spire against the peace and good will of said COM
monwealth and the well being and dignity % said
| complainant in that he did feloniousy AMI on
mnrderous thoughts intent, break into and forci-
ply enter his castle, to-wit: Room No. =, Phelps
House, and did maliciousy and with the deliberate
intention of numbering and frighteningto death in
the first degree the complainant place in the bed
| OF said Cole great number and variety of muir
derous and te rrifying internal machines and inn
plementso of war, towit: bricks, bottles stomach
pump, a live mud turtle, corn, popped and other
wise, and other articles Of diabolical nature too
numerous to mention in his present state Of mind
with the evident intention OF awakening the al
ieged conscience of the said complainant, and COM
uniting other depredatons on his person. all of
which he the said Cole asserts is true and reliable
Con- planant further states on his oath and by yir
tue of all the oaths known to science (Which he
did laently and vehemently and to the best Of his
ability use on said occasion) that said Cove, and
otaers 10 him unknown, persistently and quietly
did lie in wait to see the result of his deeds and
didon aseeitaining the fact, laugh in heart rcnd-
ing and uprOarous tone of voice, and did out Of
pure cussedness, shout and blaspheme in an un-
ettNlly manner very mucn TO the nullildtiOn OF
him, the said complainant. And he further asserts
that upon the night hereinbcfore mentioned at
ABOUT the last quarter to low twelve, he did AZ
usual and IN good faith, enter his domiclle to pre-
pare TO repose his weary limbs upon his alleged
vlrtu0us couch and that the extreme exhaustion
consequent upon the laborous tramping up and
down stairs three times per day, for three weeks,
which dire necessity compelled him TO do, ahso-
lutely banished all thoughts of danger and pre-
cluded all possibility of defence and that in con
sequence he was by the concerted and vigorous
M said Afarn ale is pilp
elected from said bed and his flight being slightly
accelerated by his fears and vigorously assisted by
all his bodily functions, he, the said example, did
proceed, as he asserts too Immediately TO stand
ON his ear(he having no dignity on whichto stand)
IN mysterious and incomprchensible manner as
we.i as in very ungentlemanly and annoying at
uinde That being unable on account Of the cireum-
scribed area of said room to place simultaneously
his feet and said floor he was deprived of
lhe pleasure OF using in legitimate manner the
propellers furnished by nature, and thereby suf-
fered great loss and damage as they were, for the
time being OF no earthly use and valueless. And
he further states that during the melee he slipped
his excentrc and has been unable to make SEIZED
ule time on several important occasions; that he
has since been unable to enjoy the devotions SO
necessary to his happiness by reason OF the essen
tlal changes then and there made On the science
of theology. and that he verify and truly believes
he is permanently disabled so far as the comforts
of religion concerned. And also states that he
Is and has been compelled to take his meals from
shelf; all OF which Is greatly to his bodily dscom
tort and initiates against the peace and good order
VI society IN lne Abstfact, ana llkSWl-t mas ue
noraizing tendency towards rcgolutionzing the
laws of nature well civil liberty and that he
L. prepared to swear that even the important laws
of equilibrium, attraction, and cohesion are in
tractable and unayailing. And he further swears
by the great horned spoon that the said j. NJ Cove,
should be hung. drawn and quartered; that his
fate may be warning and snare to all misguided
agents or other persons without regard 10 sex,
who may hereafter exhibit any of said procliyites
hereditary or otherwise likely TO conspre against
the apostles and profits of the gentlemmy and
obliging Smith OF the Phelps House.
And deponent further states thathe was serious
ings were not regarded that the diabolical inge-
nuity exhibited BY the said Cove was truly won
derful and cvineed an intimate knowledge OF such
devices and instruments of torture as brick ont
of place, empty bottle and turtle not to men
ton corn, poppeu irl .Sssssise and that for this
titiOner VIII f~rovcr pray. his
A. II. Y COLE,
mark