The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1881-07-07
HUM0R,

Supreme Court--Paying attention to
two pretty women at one sitting.
"The coming man" is not always q
policeman. You generally have to 60
and hunt him.
Pawnbrokers do not get much from
servant girls, as the principal they put
up is the clothes line.
al thought you took an interest In
my welfare" said William. mo, sir"
replied Susan, "only in your FAREWELL
The fox whose tail was caught in
trap was one OF the first individuals who
severed his connection"
What 'er back have you got" said
one fashionable belle to another. That
remark created hustle.
The latest gag down here is that a
young man in pressing his own suit
frequently wrinkles the girl's Charles
Francis Adams.
The King Of Zanzibar travels with
400 trunks. What fine subject he
would be for the typical American bag
gage smasher.
Emira Free Press: 1.-THE new ver-
sion substitutes bowls of wrath for
walls There is nothing stingy about
the new version"
A Harlem mockiug- is an adept
r singing Moody and Sankey hymns,
amt Hothing but the cage prevented it.
from taking .-i.
Biddy-Ah, man they be the heart
less hathans thare that wouldn't give
him crust itself. fear the poor sowl
will die of indigestion.
Once they started a girls seminary
in Utah. II tlourished well; but just in
the height OF its prosperity, the princi-
pal eloped with the whole school.
1t is illegal under present laws in Ar
kansas 10 sell dirk or bowie-knife.
Exchange. But everybody down
there buys toothpicks.
politics is game of grab" shouts
the man who has been left in the race.
The trouble with him is that the other
fellows grabbed first
IL haven't work enough for another
servant" said lady TO a girl that APP
piled for situation. "Oh, yes, you
have, ma'am. Ten take precious little
to keep me busy was the naive re-
spouse.
Veneer a man like the Canadian
weather clerk says look out for frost,
and plant your buckwheat cakes in
July" instead Of August, he should be
needed.
A Connecticut man has invented q
pipe that will light itself. This is an
undetermined attempt to force house.
painters to find some new way TO kill
time. -- Boston Post.
A New York lady, examining an ap-
plicant for the Office Of maid-of-all-
work, interrogated her as follows
MARY, can you scour tinware with
alacrityp" Perhaps could, MAJ am;
but generally have secured with sand"
A New York lawyer had his pocket
picked the other day. The thief was
found to be one of his clients who was
trying to get enough of his fortune back
to buy a dose Of poison.
"You can't both eat your cake and
hevo it, aanient Pf,nreih MOI Well.
then, how are you going TO eat your
cake if you don't have itP It's q
mighty good thing for the reputation
of the people that they are dead, and
can't be stumped by tough questioners.
A Norristown woman returned from
a days visit 10 New York yesterday,
and, when asked how she enjoyed her.
self, replied: 81 had delightful time.
| spent four hours at the morgue, and
five dead bodies were brought in while
was there. IL was better than fu-
neral. "-NorrtStown Herald
A fashion item says the dickens" is
the name of a new bonnet. 1t reminds
you of an Old Curiosity Shop. -Bute-
Tin. Or, rather. of one OF the charac-
ters in that novel. When the bill is
read off by the fair owner OF the bon
net it sounds to her husband like a
Little Knell. - Phitadetphid NeWS. You
should have used a little Il in the name.
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Cen, fhra, hrst eunuch or the klnI