Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1881-02-11
FACT, FUN AND FANCY.

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Pride hath two seasons--a forward
spring aud an early fall
Talent takes the mark Of its generation
genius stamps its time with its own.
A noble part of every true life is to
learn to undo what has been wrongly
done.
Do not try to force yourself into the
confidence of others. II they give their
confidence never betray it.
well, Johnnie, did you catch any
fish to-day? 2" NO" replied the lad,
"but | drowned good many worms"
The greatest evils in life have had
their rise from something which was
thought of too little importance to be
attended to,
There is a joy in good fortune. There
is far higher in the minds gain of knowl-
edge or truth But there is no joy like
the joy of resolved virtue.
1t would be better for the world il the
word pity and kindred expressions we're
out of use kindness and tender feelings
would then only be expressed by actions.
An Ohio girl sued man for breach of
promise, and proved him such scroun-
drcl that tho jury decided that she ought
to pay him something for not marrying
her.
A clergyman, meeting an inebiiate
neighbor, exclaimed Drunk again,
wilkins 7 to which Wilkins in semi
confidential tone, responded, 'Sho am I,
parsonp
Never borrow trouble" said hus-
band to his wife "Oh, let her borrow
it, if she can" exclaimed the next door
neighbor; "she never returns anything
you know"
A courtly negro recently sent n reply
to an invitation, in which he regretted
that circumstances repugnant to the ae-
quiescence would prevent his acceptance
Of the invite"
A boy of twelve years, dining at his
uncle's, made such good dinner that
his aunt observed, johnny, you appear
to cat WE'LL YES" replied the urchin,
"Tvc been practicing eating all my life."
An impertinent fop made sport OF an
old farmers large nose, mouth aud chin,
but the old farmer silenced him by say
ing: Your nose, mouth and chin all had
to be made small so that there'd be ma
terial left for you cheek
A certain gentleman recently lost his
wife, and voting miss of six, who came
to the funeral, said to his little daughter
of about the same age, Your pa will
marry again, won't he 2 Oh, yes!' was
the reply; 'bnt not till after the funeral
"What train is this p asked the be-
nevolent Mrs. Girdslee, OF the gate
keeper, as she was returning from her
first visit to the city. The mail train,
madam" "Well, when'll the female
train start amt going to ride on any
of your male trains"
A fond mother said to her little son:
Tommy, my dear. am going to give
you littlecompanion soon which would
you perfer, little boy or little girl Y'---
"Well, mother" replied Tommy, "if it
is all the same TO you, would rather
have little donkey"
II say, boy, whose horse is that you're
riding !"
why, it's daddy's.'
"Who is your daddy?"
Don't you know Why, Uncle Peter
Jones'"
$50 you are the son Of you uncle q
why, yes, calculate am. You see
dad got to be widower, and married
mothers sister, and now he's my uncle"
Not sound was heard at the fiesta!
board as the knife through the butter
was hurried. but as it came out the
boarders all roared and felt confoundedly
hurried. The butter was there, and the
knife was there, but twant about that
they were worried, but when they caught
sight Of long golden hair, TO another
hotel they hurried.
My Uncle Consider stood looking at
one Of the new silver dollars, aud seeing
lin God we trust" on one side, and the
UNITED States Of America" on the other.
sadly remarked: Well, Eli, | knew we
were becoming very wicked and world
ly people, but never expected to live to
sec the day when God and the United
States would DO on opposite sides.
An old darkey was endeavoring to ex-
plain his unfortunate position. "You see,
remarked Sambo. lit was in this way as
far as | can romomber Fust my ladder
died, den my muddcr married agin and
den my mudder died. aud don my father
married agin; and somehow doesn't
seem to have NO parents at all. nor no
homo. 40 nufin
Isn't il awful cold p queriod Smith
as he met Jones on the car the other day.
'Terrible--terrible.'
Any your water pipes freeze npr
Morse than that.
How
Had three barrels Of potatoes frozen