Clearfield Republican. [volume] (Clearfield, Pa.) 1851-1937, 1881-09-14
MR.. SPooPENDfKE IN THE
CHARACTER OF A SPORTS.
MAN.

CHARACTER OF A SPORTS.
MAN.
"sav. my dear" said Mr.. Spoopen.
dyke. as he drew A gun from the case
and eyed IL critically. al want Won to
wake me up early In the morning, I'm
going cunning
alsnI that loo sweet" eiaculated
Mrs. Spoopendyke. "Pll wear nv new
dress and nv Saratoga waves. Where
do we goP6
al'm going down onsthe island. and
you'll probably 20 as far as tho front
door," grunted Mr.. Spoopendvke,
I"Women don't 10 cunning. It's only
men. All vou'yo cot TO do IA to wake
me up and get breakfast. When |
come home wen have some BIRDS
"Won't that be NICE? chimed Mrs.
Spoopendyke. .Cs.i you catch birds
with that thing2" And Mrs. Spoon.
endyke luttered around the improved
breech loading shot gun. firmly i'm.
pressed with the idea that it was some
kind of trap.
81 can kill EN- with this" explained
Mr.. Spoopendyke. aTbis Is A gun, nv
dear il isn't a nest with three speek.
led eggs in IT, nor is il a barn with A
hole In the root. You stick the car.
fridge in here and mil this finger
piece. and down comes the bird every
time"
aWell. isn't that the greatest thing
| suppose if YOU don't want a partridge.
Won can stick A duok or n turkey in
that end too. or fish or a lobster
and bring il down inst as ouick"
ayes. or Won can stick A house or A
cornfield, or dod gasted female idiot
in there. too. if YOU want tor snorted
Mr.. Spoopendvke. aWho said apy.
thing about A partridpeY It's n car.
fridge that goes in there"
"Ohw calculated Mrs. Spoopendyke,
81 see now. Where does the bird go?d
uHe goes TO NIGHT school If he hasn't
got anv more sense than Won have"
snorted Mr.. Spoopendyke. W,ook
here. now. and I1l show Won how il
works" and Mr.. Spoopepdyke. whose
ideas of gun were about as yapne AZ
those of his wife inserted the carlrdge
half wav In the muzzle end and eau.
tiouslv cooked the weapon
WAnd when the bird secs that he
comes and pecks Mt III Isn't that the
funniest I" and Mrs. Snoonendvke
clapped her hands in the enjoyment of
her discovery. "Tben vou pnt ont
vour hand and catch bimln
you've struck itr bowled Mr.,
Spoopendyke. who had the hammer
on the half set, and was vainly pulling
at the trigger to get il down. That's
the idea | An Won need is four feathers
and gas bill to be martineale With
your notions, YOU only want n new
stock and a steam trip hammer TO be
needle gum Don't vou know the
dod gasted thing has got to 90 off be. |
fore YOU get bird You shoot the |
birds, you don't wait for 'em to shoot
Won ~
"At home, we used to always chop
off their heads with an AK faltered |
Mr.. Spoopendyke.
$50 would 1, if was going after
measly old hens" rctorted Mr.. Spoon.
endyke, who had managed to uncock
the contrivance, "but when / 20 for
yellow birds and sparrows 90 like a
sportsman. While lam waiting for A
bird" continued Mr.. Spoopendyke.
adjusting the cartridge at the breech (;
al put the load in here for safety; and
when | see q flock aim and fire.
Bang went the gun, knocking the
tall feathers out of an eight.day clock
and plowing foot fnrrow in the wall
perforating the closet door and culmi.
mating in Mr.. Spoopendykes plug hat.
"Goodness, graciousr p squeaked Mrs
Spoopendyke. "Oh, myb
Mr.. Spoopendike gathered himself
up and contemplated the damage.
"Why couldn't ye keep still" he
shrieked. "Whatid We want to disturb
my aim for and make me let il off2p
"Think / can hold back a charge of
powder and a pound of shot while
measly woman is soaring it through .
gun barrel2'
"If that had been bird, how nicely |
you would have shot itp suggested |
Mrs. Spoopendyke, soothingly. "nrI
you should ever aim at bird, you'd |
catch him sure"
"Oh you know what | could do |
With your information about punpery |
you only need a wad in your mouth |
and a kick like mule to be A mount. |
am howitzerl i'll had vour intelli. |
gencc on sporting matters, I'd hire ont
ior a shot tower Don't Won know |
you've spoiled the dod gasted gun ?"
And Mr. Spoopendyke anxious for an
excuse to take il back 10 his friend
Specklewottle, who loaned il to him.
held il out and eved his wife sternly
solemnly' ut wont ever 60 of again"
Never mind, dear" consoled Mrs.