Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1881-05-05
IN A NUT SHEi.I..

prefer eagles on ten dollar gold pieces.
when | was yourg man. says
the philosopher Billings, 81 was always
in hurry to hold the pig end of the
log and do all the lifting; now am
older, seize hold OF the small EN- and
| do all the gruntng."
A man, about going to Europe, said
to his wife: II am afraid, my dear.
that while am gone abence will con-
quer love" %, you needn't fear for
me-" quickly said his vie; "the longer
you stay away the better | shall like
you
The following advertisement signed
by Amy Houghton's mother, appears in
Philadelphia: II caution all persons
authorized to perform the marriage
ceremony not to marry my daughter TO
any one"
The Cleveland Lead,Y solemnlv
affirms that Gamma Dickinson has n
large heart This is probably true, but
what Anna seems to neeo Just now is a
larger liver. She is evidently suffering
from biliousness.
The planting of elm, maple and 9TH
er forest trees at proper distances along
| the highways increases the value of the
adjoining property and adds TO the
beauty and comfort Of the section. In
Germany fruit trees adorn the way
sides.
The invitation by the Sandwich
Island government to Chinese emigrants
has resulted in such deuge of them
that they outnumber the native male
population. They continued, at last
accounts, to arrive by the hundred. and
the authorities were considering "A mode
of stopping the influx.
'Are you not afraid that the Lord
will visit you with his wrath ?' said n
clergyman To II profane man. Ger
tainly not, said the y. m, '.He doesn't
know I'm swearing, and | can prove it
| by John, iX;3l." The parson looked
up the text and found "Now we
know that God hearoth not sinners"
A Texas girl, Il merry young thing.
who "did not know it was loaded, ."
pointed a revolver at the head of her
lover, and remarked, 81 am going to
shoot you, jim" As they do not hang
people for murder in that state, she will
live and die a spinster.
Thackeray INDUCED in raw oysters
when he was in this country--Saddle
rocks of the most formidable descrip-
ton. That is to say, he INDUCED in
one. After that had disappeared ne
said Swallow EN-; I'd as soon think
of swallowing n raw baby I"
'Mrs. Sage, | should like to know
whose ferry boats are these tumbled
over in the hall" Ferry boats, indeed
sir. Those are my shoes. Very polite
Of you to call them ferry-boats," II
didn't say ferry-boats, Mrs. Sage, you
misunderstood me-fairy-boots, | said,
my dear friend"
Washington planted magnolia tree
N the Mount Vernon grounds few
months before his death. The tree has
become fine one and until this year
it vas regarded as one of the spring at
fractions of the place During the last
winter it was much injured by the Sc
we're cold. Many Of the shrubs around
were killed outright
A woman having fallen into river,
her husband went to look for her, pro-
ceeded up the stream from the place
where she fell in. The bystanders re
monstrated; asked him if he had gone
mad-that she could not have gone
against the stream. He shook his head
sadly and said "She was obstinate
and contrary in her life, and no doubt
she was the same at her death"
An ambitious young man started a
newspaper in Piscopia, Col, last month.
In the first number he wrote these sad
lines This may be our tuner Il, as
no man knows when his is coming p
The entire edition had not been struck
of when the editors stock Of property
was attached for debt by a bar
keeper.
An old church near New Orleans has
been used as a school. One day the
schOOlmaster, who carried the KEY
was for some reason half an hour late
Just rs he was about to open the door
the decayed rafters gave way, and The
roof fell with n crash. Had the schoo
begun at the usual hour a great ca
lamity would have been the result.
Patrick Flynn has no training as al
occulist, and cannot even read or write
yet for fourteen years he has tbriven in
Boston as an eye doctor, his reputation
resting on a certain powder, which he
uses in all cases without discrimination
He has just suffered reverse, howev.
er, in the form Of a verdict for S50C
damages, obtained by the parents of a
boy whose eyesight his powder de
stroyed