The Hickman courier. [volume] (Hickman, Ky.) 1859-current, 1881-01-28
HUMORS OF THE DAY.

THE fatted calf was killed that for
giving father might reveal his feelings
toward prodigal son.
He put in his thumb and pulled out
plum, and what a mean thief was hel-
EIinira 4drcrtiser.
A GOOD thing to keep in the house-a
big dog VIII our next-door neighbor,
who owns one, take the hint ?-BoSton
Post.
''DELIGHTFUL wine, this, isn't it? Is
there anything IN the world better than
a glass OF good wine 2" Yes, there is
IA bottle
REJECTED lovers need never despair.
There are four and twenty hours III a
day, and not moment in the twenty
four in which woman may not change
her mind.
WHEY the masculine individual gets
into trouble there Is usually a woman at
the bottom Of it. This IS what the
small boy thought when his mother
spanked him.
A NEW paper has been started in Paris
called the IdiOt. 1t is expected TO break
up the habit local reporters have of
using the word eve. "-Nel0 orleans
Picaylule
A YOUNG man at Illion, n Y, killed
gestion He wanted to show the public
that he could di-iest as well as anybody.
st Louis Dispatch.
An idiotic New Yorker wagered that
he could put bullet through the hat of
a sleeping bar-keeper. He did SO, and
the head vas inside Of the hat, and the
bullet inside the head
The Toronto 1IqU tells of an Irish
man visiting Niagara Falls who failed TO
see anything wonderful there. There
was nothing, he thought, to hinder the
water from tumbling over the precipica
| 4 PHILADELPHIA miseE wanting a dog
| to guard his property, selected bob
! tailed one. his theory being that the ex-
ertion of wagging a long tail would IN
crease the dog appetite. .-PhlLadeLPhid
| NcicS.
a SOUTH END man shook handker-
/ chief full Of peanut shucks out OF a win
/ dow, and a gal across the way took 1t for
a handkerchief Irritation proposal, and
has sued him for n breach of promise.
Man is nowhere safe-B Boston Post.
4 SLY Philadelphia girl having a lover
she was afraid wouldn't stick, covered
| her lips with glue and invited him to kiss
| her Owing TO the fact that she had
! previously posted her father when TO
pounce into the parlor, the plan worked
admirably.
AFTER a clergyman has taken free
| bottle Of tonic, felt better, and written
| ont his certificate TO the curative quail
ties of the medicine for publication, 1t
makes him unhappy to have doctor
come along and pronounce the stuff gin
bitters, and bad at that. orleans
| Picay,mC.
NEVER whine about the law being
wrong, says the Pittsburg IclcgrdPh,
"but use your best endeayors to have 1t
/ made right This advice we dare say,
is 10 the gentlemen in State Prison.-Et-
mira Free Press. No, 10 Congressman;
but you guess pretty close.-Pittsburg
Tefegra1h.
''WERE any minutes taken at your
/ meetings." inquired Mr.. Hickman Moles-
worth. barrister, Belfast (Fic), of a
member of "a school committee against
whom the teacher had brought an action
for illegal dismissal. Minutes ?" ex-
claimed the witness. at wasn't min
utes we tux; we war hours at it.
con. DEARr' exclaimed a young lady
7 entering public hall, "what a dreadful
odor of carburated hydrogen!" ''Mum p
said the janitor, with puzzled coun-
tenauce The smell of the carburetted
hydrogen, she exclaimed. That's no
kiud of gin, mum" replied the ianitor;
that's garse; the. pipes IS leally, mum =
An architect asha--built new city hall
for Western town made botch of it
and fled to Canada, as he left word with
| his friends. "'to remain until the affair
| should blow over. Next day high
wind struck the town, and his friends
teleGraphed him: Come back. The
whole shebang was blown over last
| night.
We had to avoid meeting our enemy
| yesterday. We had a friend with us
| who would grab our coat-tails and hold
| rs back rs we started to annihilate the
wretch, but there was nobody there to
restrain him, and it would have been
very embarrassing for him. So, ont of
| consideration for his feelings, we avoided
| him. Boston Post