Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1881-01-29
Difficulties Of a Witness.

Difficulties Of q Witness.
"Yn must get around pretty early tn tat
morning, n! dear. SAID Nj. spoopendyke. .'ee
cause I'm going 10 be a witness In court"
"d0od g:AGlou>i' Calculated MA $500 Jsr-
| dyke, what have Jon been doins7~
what dye pose Eve been doinge I've ne Ara
| some tbffgs In law case. and I've got 80 swea.
TO them Won can't have law case withsu;
witnesses. and I've got TO be one to-morfow: g
breakfast"
They can't ID anything to you. can th,,-'
inquired Mrs. Seoopendy ke, neryously
III amt there In time they can send me 70
Jail" responded Mr.. Spoopendyke omlno Isly
ANA you'd better get me ready in time II YOU
don't want to lose me-" and Mr.. Spoopenit ke
Hoped into bed and went TO sleep.
MfS Spcopendfke turned the clock abe I'D
Two hours, arranged her hair. and sat DIVA 10
speculate on The chances OF waking up at the
proper moment AT first she concluded to stay
up all night, but she began to get sleepy and
rstec'ing that IL she fixed her mind on the hour
she wanted 10 rise she'd be sure to wake up
she went to bed and to sleep simultaneously.
Az nall- past tour she reused up with terri
Wake up, my dear" she exclaimed to her
husband. You've got to go a witnessing In a
case Ga g., ms IS, morning Hurry up, or they'n put
.'Wah!" reioined MI Spoopendyke. VIVA
d,d the deed get mixed Juere with-proor-
ant ana MI spoopendyke was sound asleep
said Mrs. SpOopendyke. firmly. You know
something about law court and Won must
wake up right Off,"
whats the natter" propomnded Mr.. Sp,,,-
emo Re, sit Ag up ami glariag around him.
MAI day OF the month Is tuts: VINO Gail, d
Spoopendyke? | amt slept a wink" and Mr..
Scope nkyke fell back on hts pillow
You know You must go TO the case con-
tinued Mrs spoopendyke. You've been ap-
loiGteo witness, and you must go and swear
ABOUT ,M. It; Wake up OF they WIN ares you"
what caSe:" demanded Mr.. 5000 oe adyke
who's aitesfed7 Can't you let q man alone
Just 80 he is getting In doze? What's the
matter with you. anyway
You wanted to get up early about some
court. Come, get up. nov, or they'll send you
10 JAIL" and Mrs. Spoopendyke got uo ana
a ageted the gas and began dropping on her
WHO'S going to court? asked Mr. Spoopen
dy Ike. sltttGg up In bed. .'Wnere is the cOlrfe
n aals any ,, court wants me at O'Clock In the
d, Its about about law case" said Mrs. spoooen-
Mi W.T. TO think that should live to be the
firmly impressed that it was something In the
nature OF foreign mission, gazed a1miringly
upon her husband.
''Dod CAST the law case," nowled Mr.. Spoon.
endyke, now thoroughly mad. sDye think a
law case goes proving around all night like
policeman: Got an Idea that Judge Is going
70 strap the court house on his back and
Ietcn IL up here at daylight TO try law case?"
"But you said you wanted to get up early"
a raa Mrs. spoopendyke, land It's pretty
Dye s'pose wanted to get up at midnight
TO Practice" prOpounded Mr.. Spoopendyke
THINK law case is like church sociable, the
Hlst man there gets the best supper? P'rhaps
you were afraid II l didn't start early
meet till 10 O'Clock, dod CAST Ii and here YOU
wake me up at four: What dye s'pose Wit
ness Is. anyhow shouted Mi. spoopendyke.
DARK lantern, and goes around With Ills slide
turned and the smoke coming out OF the top:
Dye know what court is:'
why, yes" said Mrs. Spoopendgke "a
court Is where they hang people. Mrs. Metr-
~. That's It: You struck It. frat cllp.' sput-
ton. all you want is plug hat and an adjourn.
ment TO be lawyer. ir rad your Intelligence
and bald head Id hire out tor ajudge at board
cases about lands and licking people, and con
tracts, and-and-and divorce cases. Yes. in
deed" continued Mr.. Spoopendyke, solemnly.
,h basy n 1ry divorce eases about women waking
w nat KIND OF y law case are you going to
wltnesss' inquired Mrs. Spoopendyke.
"A daylight case. You understand that At
ten o'clock, and not five. Got that through
your heano Think you Can remember ten
or noon9"
DO they baye cases every hour" quened
"Of course they DO They leave every fifteen
minutes, like ferryboat and IL can't catch
one case, III witness In another Got it now?
only they don't run as often from midnight TO
six. Begin TO see into it?"
II think do" said Mrs. SpoOpendyke rum,-
mating. 81 vas thinking that IL one started
ABOUT three O'Clock, Ia go and witness with
you
'Ch. you'd make a witness." proclaimed MIR.
SToopendyke. with your capacity ror ODser.
vaton ald ability TO recollect, you'd only want
TO appear twice TO absorb the whole witness
business" and with this reelection, Mr, Spoop-
endyke went back TO his sumbers
Al ten O'Clock sharp his wife called him and
notified him or the hour.
:. HoW'm going to get there in time? Why
didn't you Cal! me berore9 Want me sent 30
state prison for contempt? Want to get rid OF
me, Don't your" and Mr. SpoOpandyke darted
into his clothes
Don't you want some breakfast, my dear"
inquired Mrs. Spoopendyke tenderly.
NO don't want any meaSly breakfast, he
shouted. "Didn't i tell ye was a witness az
ten and now its half past? Think man is ap-
pointed witness during good behavior? S'pose
l nold the ofhce till nay successor IS appointed:
ara mr., Spoopendyke plunged down Stairs and
out OF the house.
81 only did what he told me to-" sighed Mrs
Sroopendy he, wetting a piece OF court plaster
ara patching up hole in her silk dress.
Enough don't see any use OF man being a
witness II he can't be q witness when he wants
TO- Ii l were man." she continued, as she
Hopped down on the floor to change her boots
10 get appointed by the President, and then /
could attend to business or not as I liked"
with which sage reflection Mrs. SpoOpendyke
pulled out her husbands socks and began 10
sew wen5 three inches In diameter on the heels.
Brooklyn Eagle.