The Portland daily press., 1881-03-15
A Big Scheme.
Good Greenback Reasoning.
Nashville Tenn Banner1

Nashville Tenn.) Banner.l
"I've got the biggest scheme of the age"
said man about 40 years old, as he dropped
into chair by the city editors desk in the
Banner editorial room this morning. He wore
brindle-colored duster, and his head gear, an
ancient plug, hid his ears from view.
"Have, eh?" said the person addressed
eyes, stree. Biggest thing you ever heard
OF. It'll revolutionize the hull country. Make
me rich, and you rich, aud everybody rich"
"You don't appear to be very rich.''
II don't Cause why? I've been foolin
away my time just like you are doing now I've
worked harder than a mnle for three years and
not cent laid up. About three weeks ago an
idee struck me kinder suddent-like. 1 begun
to think. laid awake nights and thought.
Finally about O'Clock this morning, while ly-
ing in bed thinking, suddenly riz up, and
my wife she says, Whats the matter? Got
nightmare told her no, that l was going to
be rich. Sne called me an old fool, and turned
over and went to sleep. But was too happy
to sleep. L got up and walked around till
breakfast and then set out for your office 1
had heard that you were willing to help the
poor, SO says to myself, 'I'll confde my Sc
cret to the Banner"
Possibly you've found pot of gold?''
1Sv, ..-y ssb e<Ae "a thi1s There tL IL
and millions of men in this country who are
rich. There are more who are not rich. Now,
my scheme is to have these rich men help the
poor men to get rich. See? And when we are
all rich what beautiful world we'll have.
How do propose to do this? For instance, I
propose that every man and woman in the
State, who can afford it, shall give me so cents
See? I'll take that money and start me fam
lily grocery, and then we rich men will take up
collection for you and then you are rich
NI.ox% xxx.k q.
next man and make him rich, and so on, until
everybody is ON the rich list. See how it
works? Beautiful isn't it?'
81 guess it is.''
"Oh, it's a boss. It's a wonder somebody
didn't think of it before. So simple you know
Why, we can all be bondholders in few
years, and own stock in railroads and canals
and National banks"
"Well?"
'I want you to publish the scheme and let
the people know what we are doing, and tell
'em where to send their fifty centses-Elijah
Pudd, Station ID. Nashville, Tenn. You see, /
being the originator of the scheme, ought to
be made rich first, so as to show 'em how it
works. Now, the honor of originating the plan
IS glory enough for me; so, If you say SO, I'll
let you have the privilege of paying
the first half dollar, and you can
pay it now, and I'll enter your name
on the fy-leaf of this book, mentioning in
brackets that you are the first man. Shall
put you down for 80 cents
'I don't think care to-"
mo? Remember, it's nothing to me who
puts his name down first. It's privilege that
will be granted to but few. If you want you
can pay me 25 cents now and hand me the
rest at another time. Shall put down %
cents? No? Then I'll be more liberal
still; give me 10 cents and I'll enter your
| name and give you credit for the full
amount. No? I'll go; and as you won't give
me dime, maybe you wouldn't mind loaning
me chew of tobacco? No? All right" and
he passed out.
An hour later the reporter found him work
ing on the streets with the chain gang, and as
he passed along, heard him mutter, It's d-d
poor man who won't give 10 cents toward
making another man rich."