The Red Cloud chief., 1881-12-15
An Accessiea 10 the Speegenjyke
Family.

An Accession 10 ~ Spoo?enjyk
Family.
"well. well. well" sad Mr.. spoop-
.sndyke. with 4 grin that involved his
whole head. and sn EFFORT At . tip-ioe
tread that shook the whole house And
30 it's a girl. nv dear"
Mrs. Spoopendyke smiled family.
and Mr.. Spoopendyke picked up his
neiress.
lis the image of You" she said.
regarding with some t~repidation Mr..
Spoopendy ke's method Of handling the
infant.
II don't see how YOU make that
out" said Mr.. Spoopendrke. gravely.
~ don't know when my nose looked
like the thumb part Of a boiler lobster
claw. DO 1 understand you that my
eyes bear any resemblance to tie head
Of a screw
II mean the general features" muir
INJURED Mrs. Spoopendyke.
The general features seem TO be all
mouth" retorted Mr.. Spoopendyke.
examining his acquisition. III our
general features are at all alike. my Wis
age must remind you Of an earthquake.
Hi, ki.chee. kitchee! What makes her
fold up her legs like that"
..She can't help it," reasoned Mrs
Spoopendyke. They'll st~raighten out
in time"
mo time like the present." quoted
Mr.. Spoopendyke. and he took his
daughters feet aud commenced pulling
her limbs. IL don't want n handy
--~l TT - az, -.i, ,yh.fa -. ~
the head Of it,"
Naturally tho baby began to cry and
Mr.. Spoopendyke essayed to soothe it."
Hi. kitchee. kitchee. kitcll-ee-ee!"
he chirruped. "Great Scott. what a
cavern! Iii, kitchee! kitch e-e! You'll
have to get that mouth rooted in before
cold weather. What's the matter with
her, anywav'"
perhaps you hurt her. Let me take
her, please" pleaded helpless Mrs.
Spoopendyke.
..She's doing well enough. Hi you!
Hold up, Haven't you anything 20
catch this mouth in? It's splitting all
over the neighborhood. Hi! TOpsy,
G~enevieve, Cleopatra. dry up. I'm
going to have trouble breaking this
young ones temper. ! a see that.
Here! bend the other way once" and
Mr.. Spoopendyke tried to s~traighten
his offspring without avail.
Let her come to me. do, please"
moaned Mrs. ~Spoopendyke, and Mr..
Spoopendyke was forced to hand her
over.
well that's quite a baby" said he,
nursing his knee and eying the infant.
What are those bumps over its eyes
for? What preponderance of intelli-
gence do they representa-"
You muslin talk So" demonstrated
Mrs. S~poopendyke. She's the hand
soonest child you ever saw"
"Well. she's got to stop biting her
nails before she goes any further with
the procession. Here, take your hands
out of your mouth. can't YOU? Why
don't you put her hands DOWN."
why, all babies do that" ex-
claimed Mrs. Spoopendyke. You
can't stop that"
I'm going to try" said Mr.. Spoop-
endyke. land don't want to be inter-
fered with in bringing this child up.
Here. you. Maud 5. Bonesetter. put
your hands in your pockets. Don't let
me see any more nail chewing, or you
and I'll get mixed up in an argument.
She gets that from your family. Mrs.
Spoopendyke."
Say. dear. don't you want to 60
and order some things" asked Mrs.
~Spoopendyke.
NO" reioined her husband. 81
want to see this youngster. Where's her
chinp Do babies always have their up
per jaw set right on their shoulders?
kitchee! kitchiee! Her scalp comes
clear to the bridge of her lose. l don't
believe she's quite right. Where's her
forehead? Great Moses! Her head is
all on the back part! Say, that baby's
got to be pressed. That's no shape"
Get away" exclaime | Mrs. Spoop-
endyke, Indignantly. "She's a perfect
angel. There's nothing in the world
the matter with her"
..Of course you know" growled Mr..
Spoopendyke. You don't want any,
thing more than a fog horn and a mis-
spent appropriation to'be an orphan
asylum. If | had your faith and the
collie I'd make n living as a foundling's
home! She'll be old enough to spank
in 4 week, won she?"
mo, she won'tr' said Mrs. Spoop-
endyke. She'll never be old enough
for that"
I'm bet she WILL" groaned MI.
SpoOkendyke. "If she isn't. she'll get
it before She natures up to that period.
That's all. Let me take her. Here,
let's have her."
But Mrs. Spoopendyke fatty refused.
Keep your dod-gasted baby. tben!'
reared Mr.. Spoopendyk Ike. If you
know more about babies than l do. then
keep her. The way you coddle her n
would think she was a new paste for
the complexion. If you had one more
brain and a handle. you'd make a fair
rattle-box! Fit you up with a broken
sofa and a grease spot and you'd do for
a secondhand nursery"
And Mr.. S~poopendyke started off to
find his friend Specklewottle. who con-
graduated him. and started off with
him to assist in the selection of an over
coat and q pair of ear-muffs as precau-
tionary against the approaching winter.
-Bro0k!yn Eagle.
"Burnt Children
There Ia no ferser summinO nm of the