The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1881-11-04
TIE PRESS.
Spoopendyke.
AS a RECOMMENDATION Candidate.
brooklyn Eagle.l

do you think?"
az don't know" replied Mrs. Spoopendyke,
SIS it something about name for the baby"
'Dod CAST the baby!' roared Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke, drawing up chair. cts something
better than that have been nominated for
Mayor on the reconciliation ticket"
"Why, how many are they going to haveT
asked Mrs. Spoopendyke in some amaze'oent
There's Mr.. Tracy and General Ropes and
Judge SIocum and Major Howell and Mr. Low,
and are you to be mayor too?"
oThey have all withdrawn in my favor"
said Mr.. Spoopendyke, land they have put me
forward to reconcile all the conflicting ele-
ments and contending factions. They say
around town that Spoopendyke is the only
man in Brooklyn fit for the mayoralty. Think
of that"
81 don't know about the elements" argued
Mrs. Spoopsndyke "Do you think yon could
regulate those? always supposed the weather
was taken"
.sWhat about the weather? What do you
suppose mayor is, anyway? Got an idea he's
a dod gasted barometer? Think he runs up and
down in a wooden box and points himself out
with brass thumb? WE'LL he doesn't He
sits around and takes the responsibility while
other people manage his office for him. See
into it now?"
Certainly" replied Mrs. Spoopendyke.
"And SO they can't really agree on anybody
but you?"
at seems So" responded Mr.. Spoopendyke.
1.-THE most respectable delegation in the city
waited on me to-day and said that the welfare
of Brooklyn depended on Spoopendyke.
"Im glad it was respectable, dear, because
some Of them are not saw that the Jetfer-
son Mclaughlin delegation had their seats pro
tested"
"You're always seeing. If you had one more
eve and sold by the bushei you'd make first
class potato patchl My delegation was COM
posed of Dr. Talmage and DR.. Van Dyke, Gen
aral Tracy and Mr.. Ropes, Mr.. Dunno and
Judge Morris, Mr.. Beecher and DR.. Storrs,
Ar. Kinsella and Mr.. Mclaughlin, and Mr..
Howell and Mr.. Low. The chairman was Mr..
Dewitt, and he said that my nomination was
the grandest enterprise ever Entrusted to the
intellect of man. Think of that now''
isn't that perfectly splendid! wonder il
we couldn't get Mr.. De Witt to come around
and name the baby! How do you reconcile all
those elements?"
ssBy being mayor, don't you understand?
Each enc wants his own man, and as he can't
get him they agree on me and in go. DIR. Tai
mage maze some eloquent remarks about me.
He said, we nominate you, sir, to perpetuate
perpetuity. Down with our opponents! Let
reconciliation reign. When Moses became
mayor Of the Israelites he smashed the tablets!
Let SpoopeHdyke break the i'll conceived, mis-
begotten, bigoted, rotten slate of our adverse
riesi Quod erdt deneonstrd1odatnap declare he
was perfectly wild over itP'
"What does it mean, that foreign language?,
asked Mrs. Spoopendyke with warm interest
ut was very good OF him to say it, but don't
understand it."
"Qlod erat demonstrdnduna? That means il
you expect something and don't get 1t, its all
right anyway" explained Mr.. Spoopendyke.
"Dr. Van Dyke followed him and said that he
had spoken with characteristic accuracy and
hoped that would help in the vineyard, and
something else I've forgotten. That made Mr..
Talmage cry"
dyke, 81 don't see how you can reconcile men
who hurt each others feelings"
"If he'd hurt his feelings thered have been
q row instead of tears. These ministers only
cry when they feel good. Then Mr. McLaugh-
lin made speech and said that he would help
me when / got to be mayor
isn't he just too sweet?" murmured Mrs.
Spoopendyke. "If baby was only boy we'd
name him Mclaughlin Spoopendyke. Who else
spoke?"
"Mr Kinsella was the next"
"What Office does he hold?" inquired Mrs.
Spoopendyke.
frankly that his paper was the first to bring
me before the public. He thought he had been
instrumental in my nomination, and hoped L
would see that proper delegations were sent to
the State conventions. He's nice man, Kin
sela. Some say that he and look alike"
HE must be handsome man." said Mrs.
Spoependyke, contemplating her husband ad-
after him. What did Mr.. Beecher say?"
"Mr. Beecher said that some men were no
more born mayors than they were born police
men; but they subsequently developed inward
ness that raised them to the power and glory OF
office and dignity, though they might have
originally been regular old hunks. That
brought up DIR. Storrs, who said that the finest
particles of animate nature frequently con-
spired in the same individual, and lifted him
80 far above The finite that unobserving men
mistook them fer the infinite
GOOD gracious' squealed Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke, land to think that they all meant you!
The first time 1 see DR.. Storrs he shall kiss the
baby"
"Wasn't it gloriousl" exclaims Mr..
epoopeRdyke dancing around the room.
a lease of the State Prisons, and
General Tracy asked my influence In securing
an act, making Young Republicanism mis-
demeanor, punishable by fine or imprisonment
or both. You never heard OF such time in
your lifel Judge Morris made speech IN IA
vor Of life tenure of office, and Mr.. Dunno
made me promisesto turn the judge loose on
the criminal classes. 1t was regular love
feast Mr.. Howell made some remarks about
a general license system, and Mr.. Low made a
glowing speech, in which he congratulated the
aristocracy on nominating man who could
sign his name with glove on. / wish you
could have been there. There was another
man whose name I've forgotten, but he urged
me to be honest. Said he'd been honest all
his life. Made business of it. Never ven-
tured on outside speculations but traded SOLE
ly in honesty-wholesale, retail, gallon, small
measure or pint Honesty furnished at short
notice. Discount to the trade. Canned goods
for Western consumption. He was good
one!'
"Wen, never heard anything like itl'
cooed Mrs. Spcopsndyke. 81 suppose now the
Common Council will come up here to play
with the baby; but say, dear, you won be
compelled to steal any books and run away,
will you?"
mo, won't, won't I?'' howled Mr. Spoop-
endyke. II tell you 1 am going to have plain
sailing. The whole town is in favor of me, and
I'll be the first popular mayor this village has
ever had"
swili you have to be out late nights with
the delegation, reeonciling?" inquired Mrs.
Spoopendyke.
az tell YOU they are all reconciled. They
recenciled on me. Do you know what a recon-
Citation is? Got notion that it's the side door
of q LIQUOR saloon? Imagine that the delega-
4
side singing The key is empty, beer all gone,
at four in the morning? Well, they amt AS
said In my speech accepting the nomination,
this is the era of peace and responsibility, and
You don't want to go around upsetting it, or
you'll hear from me"
Certainly" replied Mrs. Spoopendyke, I'M
dressing the baby. when you're elected I'm
coming down to your Office to bring my work
and the baby, and I'll help you when you've
got too much to do"
Eyes, you WILL" bawled Mr.. Spoopendyke.
you'd be a great help! An you want is a
seedy overcoat and clerk, to be the whole
municipal government You can help! When
1 get time, I'll fit you up with broken bench
and gas bill and start political headquart-
ers with you. Let me catch you around the
CITY Hall mending socks and showing go
cart while I'm in office, and I'll fit you out
with red mustache and an interest in an al
night gin mill, and start you around as police
forcei"
And with these improvements on his mind,
the Reconciliation candidate popped out of his
clothes and topped into bed.
81 don't care" soliloquized Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke as she drew on, the baby's night dress,
"as long as he don't go around nights with his
delegation he can be Mayor after all, for then
he can widen the street and have an engine in
front of the house every night to put out fires
and burglars.
With which reflection Mrs. Spoopendyke
filed the baby away in the crib, aud went to
sleep, dreaming that Mr. Spoopendyke had
been elected fire bell, and had resigned his
Office to know what she wanted the dod