The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1881-07-23


A hirt IS ike a Upper / a hydrant;
every one i at liberty 10 drink from
it, but no one desires to carry 1t away.
A good and rue woman is said TO
resemble a Cremona fiddle-age but
increases its worth and sweetness OF
tone.
One editor says 1--WE wouldn't care
to be the prettiest girl in tue world
Another quietly chips in this wise
"We,d rainier be next To her.
mo kiss" he said pleadingly, n
kiss from my darling tonight :"
sNo.n she said empha.ically, mo
kiss. l hear tia. there IS mumps IN
your family
81 WONDER" said a young lady.
s'why Hymen IS always represented
as carrying a torch = to VIII eli her
bach .lor uncle respon led 10 indi-
cate that he always MAKES 1t warm for
people who marry.
A cynical old practitioner says (:
q lady who practices medicine COM
mits two faults She increases the
number of doctors and diminishes the
number of women.o
ado you know, Mr.. Smith," asked
Mrs. s., in a %reproying way, that that
pipe is hurtful TO YOU and il Is your
enemy - ..Yes,n replied Smith
calmly ejecting a fieesy cloud +; Eyes,
l know it, and I'm trying to snoSe
the rascal OUT
Thackeray's idea of a dandy is
given in the following no;e: My dear
Edward-A dandy is an individual
who would be a lady if he could, but
as he can't, DOES ali he can TO show
the world mes not a man."
A suspicious mother down South
placed some nitro glycerine i'll her
daughters corset on the evening her
fellow was coming. The girl loaned
it to the COOK, and they had to scrape
the old man oil the ceiling to get
enough 10 hold an inquest over.
s.Trust men, and they will be true
to you." SAYS Emerson. We showed
this to a respectable grocer. He grew
livid with rage, and seized a club, and
wanted to know where that Emerson
Teller lived, anyhow. There was
murder in that grocer's eye. We
did not tell.
aaYou must love Miss Lawrence
very much said Jack TO Miss Dashie
as they left that lady whom they had
Just met ON the street. "1ou gave
her a most ~rapturous kiss on the
Cheek aud Miss Da>hie replied !: Il
despise her!ii Then why such a
kiss7' '.Why, didn't you see? She
s,r~;h1xr Rnfnfn1 aud ma1a a
spot on her cheek with that kiss that
will let everybody who sees her into
the secret of her elegant com plexion."
Ask some men for an advertisement
or Star local and they will answer
they do not believe in Advertising
a paper is seldom read. Let the man
be caught kissing his neighbours wife
or holding up the side of a building
some dark night, and his tune
changes instantly, and il the printing
office is in the garnet of a seventeen
story building he will climb to the
top TO beg the editor to keep quiet
don't publish it in the paper, YOU
know.
A Western minister, who had been
much troubled aUout marriage fees,
issued the following circular and
price-list One marriage, plain, 81.
Ditto. kissing the BRIDE, 81. Ditto,
trimmed with one groomsinan and
one ~bridemaid, 81; so cents extra for
each additional groomsman or bride
maid. Bachelors past 40 will be
charged extra. Maids of same age. 10
per rent off. Mileage will be charged
l., loDy distance mafehaSH Tik.ral
reduction TO clubs. Payments in
cash I; no notes or securities accepted.
No money refunded or rebates made
for poor goods. Come early, and
come often.