Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1881-07-13

hOary forest trees. L wish / could paint
that mighty waterfall, almost beside the
house, as it came rushing and tearing
over beds and boulders of rock, tum-
bling with an incessant roar into foam
ing river below. I would [ were able
to picture the slopes green with scented
grass, the fields white at one season with
the snowy blossoms, and at another red
with the ripening fruit of the coffee
bushes, the towering crags glowing with
bright tropical flowers, and the steep
declivities, verdant to their very bases
with ferns and lichens. [ can't do it,
boys, and won't try. ALI that [ want
to let you know is that it was deuced
nice sort of place, this habitat of the
Mcpherson; and that to be settled there
with ones household gods, and coffee
selling at seventy or eighty shillings per
hundred weight In the market would pay
most gracious majesty-God bless her!
and the command of this dear old
corps with its unruly subs.
$50, no doubt, too, thought its owner
as he lolled and smoked at his cottage
front and gazed at the silver bloom or
the rudy cherries of his trees growing
almost up to the very door. But it was
poor, ungarnished, comfortless, hig
gledy-piggledy sort of homestead, that
same dwelling house; for whatever else
friend Sandy had done toward the beau
tifyiDg and fertlIizing of his land his
roof-tree, like his wardrobe, had been
utterly neglected. Both wanted just ex-
actly what he thought they did the
wife element to set them ship-shape and
presentable; and as you have heard be-
fore for that desideratum he was on the
qui viye.
"Now. you young gentlemen who are
IN the habit of lawn tennising, afternoon
teasing, talking, spooning, walking, driv-
ing, with all the feminines, plain and
colored, of this place, and who think
that you have only to ask and be re-
ceived-which I beg and entreat you
will not put to the test, cutting up the
mess and SO on-can't perhaps realize to
yourselves the difficulties the worthy I
am speaking of had met with in even
this overstocked matrimonial emporium.
The Anglefralls, the Hunters, the Hook
ers, lots of girls whom [ will not name,
had snubbed or turned up their pretty
noses at him when he came a-wooing.
and so, noiens volens, he remained a
bachelor, anathematizirg his i'll luck,
and venting his disappointment upon
the backs of Sinking and recusant Tamil
coolies, the recognized natural enc
mics of coffee and the scapegoats of its
cultivators.
"Then as a last resource he sought
among his brethren of the berry around,
counsel as to the most advisable method
of getting the so=needed helpmate; and
the first man he consulted was Herr
Thaler, successful and rich German,
whose estate bordered on Ailsa Craig.
$50, SOL" said the parsonage 'Zere
is nothing more easy. Zave off Eat rag
get beard, burn in re fire zose old Globes
not fit for 'Oundsditch or any Juden
Strasse, buy Won big top mein friend. get
frauleins and vIdder-fraus vid re monish-
bags in re lands. Ii zey will not ave
you, zey will take re rupee; frost 'em for
Eat, my zon. :"
But the recommendation was unpal-
atable, and to great extent impractical
bic, 50 another fdus Achates was APP
pealed to, one Jack lie Geste, a man much
addicted to chaff and practical joking.
81 In this land of pearls and precious
stones, no go, dear boy" said Mr.. lie G..
From Dondra Head to Point Calamere
north, south, east, west-the women
won't look at you; that you have found
out long ago. Give up hunting, then,
in these oft-trod colonial fields, and draw
the home covers. Don't you happen to
know any bonny lassie in your own
Caledonia, stern and wild, or a pretty
colleen in the aisle of shillelahs and
shamrocks, who would be glad to share
curry and rice with you? Go and try
those parts; if not, have a haphazard
shy at where I hail from, the Channel
Islands. Spins-ay, and precious good
looking ones too-are as plentiful there
as cocoanuts are here, and maybe one of
them might be induced to clear out in
your favor. Failing in those islets, I
know of no other dodge than indenting
upon one of those cooperative associa-
tions which furnish everything, even to
better-half. But mind, old man, they
keep rooster for foreign service in their
offices: first lady on the list, plain or
pretty, first for duty; you pay your
money, but you don't take your choice"
But these suggestions also were con-
sidered infeasible, and put aside. Pres
emily, however, a thought struck Nc
Pherson.
LIE Geste, said he, when I was
boy there lived in the neighborhood of
my fathers manse widowed lady with
two or three then wee, very wee, daugh-
tiers. From what can recollect of them
their means were cramped, not to say
scanty, but they were of good blood and
form. One of the children, the eldest,
if my memory serves me, was called Fife,
Efie Medium, and promised to be
bonny, for can family recall her blue
eyes, haxen hair, rosy complexion and
imp little figure. If she be alive she
must be close on thirty; for it is many
years since came out here STRIPPING,
and was Chinna Doray Anglice, little
MASTER on the Paycock estate, as my
kind employer styled that property.
Mrs. Medium knew me well-better, in
deed, than knew her. I wonder if she
and the BARNS be in the land of the leal