Smyrna times., 1881-01-26
WHOLE NO. 1884.
Current Comment.
PHILADELPHIA EVENING NEWS.

joaquin Miller writes worse poetry than
ever now. His new baby is tsethinr.
business is booming everywhere. Even
the Lsmoyns Cremating Furnace is in full
blast.
En0ngh money has been subscribed to.
ward New York's World Fair to buv tho
turnstiles.
We are paying eur debts at the rat. Of
100000 a year. owe" refer 10 tho
United States.
Philadelphia Olsomargarins is giving
American dairy butter a high reputation
over in Europe.
What politics is to a man, shopping is to
woman.-Er. And one is about az ex.
pensive as the other.
The Detroit Free Press wants the authori
ties to kill the forger of tho Morey letter
and drop the subject
Garfield is SO fond of joke that he NAV,
IN moment Of mad merrimsnt, decide not
to have an Ohio man in his cabinet.
James R. KssA's time is worth so much
money that he cannot afford to spend more
than ten hours week with his family.
Fernando Wood says he is going to re.
tire to private life. This is the best news
we have heard since the fall Of Richmond.
Washingt0n's swords are now quoted in
the market at $4,000 apiece, an exceed.
ly high price considering the unlimited
supply.
One advantage the country has over the
city ie that in the country you can hire a
hsrss and sleigh for something less than $40
an hour.
Girard College is SO well conducted that
1t almost worth while for a child to be
born without parents for the sake of get.
ting into it.
1t is better to be born lucky than rich.
Mrs Marshall o. Roberts, who will in due
time become Mrs. Vice President Arthur.
is worth $4,000
The fashionable manner of walking is to
keep the right hand clasped on the left
arm near the shoulder and shy off when.
ever any one approaches.
Butter and eggs may 60 up or down, but
the retail price of Aeat always remains the
same. Why7-NoristOWn Herald. Because
1t is impossible to force it up any higher.
Nothing is more difficult than to choose
good husband-unless it be to choose a
good wife,. j Rousseau. 1t is needless
to say that Rousseau never went house.
hunting.
A London writer thinks that real people
should always be put in novels, but he for.
gets that real people are very hard to find
nowadays. Everybody tries to act just like
everybody else.
"What is there" asks an exchange,
"mcrs cheerful and homelike than the
busy hum of the sewing machine Moth.
ing except the aesthetic song of the tea
kettle and the symphonic sizzle Of the fry.
ing pan. -
In California the same pay shall be given
for similar work, whether done by men or
women. Fancy paying a man as much q
day as a woman. for sewing on buttons,
particularly if the man has to thread his
own needle.
The hair of dog may cure his bite, but
the hair of a red.haired girl won't cure her
; scratch Philadelphia Nelos. You'd better
discard her for black. haired girl. They
don't scratch-provided ysu behave your.
self-No1risto,cn Herald.
Mrs. Hayes will carry back 10 Ohio
E china set consisting of over a thousand
, pieces. She estimates that by getting q
very high.priced servant the set will last
almost a year, and even then there may be
enough pieces left to help out when COM.
!. pany comes.
: Vermont has produced the champion
liar. 1t is woman, who says she heard
lady not present we'll spoken of at sewing
society.-BOston Post. But the woman told
the truth. The lady SO well spoken of
was the homelisst, lsansst, lankisst speci.
+ msn of humanity to be found in fourteen
t States. s.e
An authority alleges that females are
! oonstitutiOnally warmer blooded than msa,
! and consequently do not require the same
| amount of clothing under the same expo
q sure. That man evidently knows what il
q is to have the bed clothes kicked of when
! the thermometsriGal mercury is diving into
I the bulb. ..- i t'-..,..-
BsAconsfsls, in his novel, " Endymion,"
says, speaking of America: GA country
that berrows its language, its laws and its
!. religion, cannot have its inventive powers
much developed Will Disrasli please
explain where he got his language, his laws
and his religion. Certainly not frem his
" ancestors.
. Since the adoption Of the Constitution Of
Nevada, any one who fought duel, acted
as second at duel or carried 9 ohallspgs
to fight duel, is not eligible to . seat in
I the State Senate, but as pulling pistoh in Q
barroom is not regarded as duel, no one