Clearfield Republican. [volume] (Clearfield, Pa.) 1851-1937, 1881-08-10
THE NEWSPAPER.
HEZEKIAH JONES, EDITOR OF THE FLAP
DOODLE, DRAWS AFEw SKETCHES
FROM NATURE.

pt sat in his sanetum the other mornin
ss beginning his days work and though
S. be had brought his paper about {
10 near perfection as possible Tor an ord
N nary sized town close to half doze
a. big cities, and he was wondering no,
d he might further improve it, when b
D. cogitations were interrupted by an az
IF quaintance coming in.
r. "Hello, Mr.. Scissors" he facetousl
70 said, writing up editorials with th
r. shears, chi"
v The editor tried to smile at the oil
d joke, and the visitor went on. "I Tel
/. you what tits Jones, you have a prett,
}. good paper, bat whas do you wantinl
n town like this with long editorials
Q Give us short ones. You can't moul,
t public sentiment, you must simply
Q echo it" Then he left, and Jones toll
$ his associate not to write any long edi
e torials that day, as he proposed fo
n once, to make the FitpdoOdle Just L
/ suit every subscriber who wanted {
8 change. In a half hour along came ,
. wicked fellow who talked newspaper
long time, and then said he didn't set
, any use OF Sunday reading, nor any
, other religious matter in paper, anC
# it was his he would bounce it all
The editor said nothing, but when the
man went away he told his Sunday
> editor not TO send many matter tor that
day. Then Jones rested and thought
for few moments, and pious old
party dropped in. As he knew good
deal about the business in its moral
aspect, he talked along, and at last
said that no newspaper could be de-
cent that admitted to its columns any
sensational matter, any advertisements
other than the most high-toned, any
thing that could not be read without
a blush by the most oapriciously ias.
tidious. Jones was silent, but later he
went and ordered all that matter set
aside SO far, Jones thought he was
getting things to suit pretty well, and
then another man came in, and like
the others, knew all about the business
of editing a paper. He was city
politician, and said, "Mr. Jones, you
don't have enough politics. Why don't
you throw out these farm notes, and
kitchen receipts, and odds and ends of
old news, and telegraphic brevities
which we get in the other papers, and
give us politics ? That's what the
children cry for.' Again was Jones
silent and later gave orders for the ex-
pulsion of this Objectionable matter and
waited for the next one. He came
pretty soon, and be had coffin for q
coat and a shroud for handkerchief,
and he smelt like the dust which blows
off Of a skeleton. Said he, "Jones, i
like your paper, but what do you run
that funny business in 1t for It's
silly, stale, and hatter than last years
ale with the bottle left open. What
doesa man want TO laugh for anyhow ?
This is vale OF tears and we should
always rVrnsnabui that l.. tl.O anSvI
tainty Of life death may cut us off with
an idle laugh upon our lips" "That's
So" groaned Jones, an cut every
line of fun right out and off he hur-
ried and out went all the funny bust.
ness. As he went home at noon he
met lady who said she didn't see what
they wanted to Gil a paper iull of poll
tics for because nobody read that.
"Don't they2" said Jones, "then on
she goes" and when he got back it all |
went out. "rm bound to please 'em |
all" said tho editor, "if have to buy a |
new Office" Right after dinner q man
OF business proclivities came in and |
said he didn't see any use of "these
silly little personals and them short
local items that didn't amount TO any
thing anyway" II It was his paper
be would have something Of a higher
nature or let the place 90 bare. Jones
listened and told the foreman TO whack
out all of that sort Of stuff at once.
Then he felt easier, till lot of pretty
girls came in, and, after making a pur-
chase asked him what q newspaper
was filled full of advertisements for
ever read them, and one said
she was going to stop taking the paper
if be was going to fill IL up that way.
Jones told the young lady that he
would have paper to suit every one,
and he hoped she would not find fault.
Then he went down and ordered out
every 'ad.' and waited for the next
man. He came along pretty soon, and
that was his abomination in news.
paper, and it never ought TO encounter
The columns of local Journal, because
L was meant for magazines, and that
sort of papers. Jones took il in, and
went out and ordered all his fine
poetry knocked down. Then he,waited
lgain, and q woman came in, and said
he fashion notes were not good, be.
,ause the magazines had them all in
greater quantity, and another thing
The didn't like, was the markets.
What good was them !" she said. 81
lon't know" he replied, $50 I'll throw
en- out" 81 hope you will, she an.
iwered, and went away. In ten min
ties the markets and fashions were on
he standing galley, Jones began to
ook around, and as he was studying,
! small boy said that "marriage and
ieath notices was mighty thin readln'," ,
md Jones slung them clear out into
he corner. After this change he went
,ver into the counting room, and an
I'D man was there waiting TO pay his
ats good paper, Jones,
mt in misplace you only want to take
lotice of local affairs, and let all the
and general business CO." .
Ind--then Jones gave the old fellow o
'eceipt and rushed back and took out all ,
he miscellaneous and general matter !
hat was LETT, and as he took out the !,
asst handful friend came through the ,
'ffice and critically examining his sur. !,
said, "The Hdpdoodle is q =
rood paper, Jones, but | do think you :
lave the ugliest head on il | ever saw. :
Why don't you change III I'm Ger. a
ain / never would let such head ap. :
'ear on paper OF mine" "All right" /;
aid Jones, and of came the head. 4
Now, Mr.. Foreman he continued, i
lock up the forms and send them a
Iown TO tho press room" The forms
we're duly locked and went down, and 3
he paper came out and was distributed Z
IS usual The next morning the poll. q
ician, and the solemn man, the friend, &
ho school girl, the woman, the small l
10y, and the rest of them were stand. +
ng around the Hdpdoodle Office with !,
flank sheets Of paper in their hands h
lot a line, not word, not q sign Of .
my thing on il but column rules, with :
othing between. "How is this D. said 4
ach "a tho other 1and xvhereia that