The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1881-03-31
ALL SORTS.

More men are made, or saved, by their
wives than by themselves.
Where is the man who can invent
non-freezable lead pipe?
There are in the United States 343, =
1888 miles of postal routes, which, in
Guiding all expenses, cost annually
about $22, 000, 900.
Whenever young ladies learn SO to
stick pin in their apron strings that it
won't scratch fellows wrist, there will
be more marriages.
Wheat is ''threshed" for the purpose
of getting out the grain; boy is
"thrashed' to get out the chat. IL New
Haven Register.
A Chicago paper says the best scheme
for improving the Mississippi river would
be something to prevent St. Louis peo-
pie from bathing i'll it.
1t takes no artistry to contradict fatty,
to sheer openly, to put down an inter
Iocuter, as fool may or may not know
his own folly.-| London Queen.
The forests of this country must be
preserved, and while we all feel that
way it does look particularly bad to see
woman working up an old knot in the
back yard with husband and two
hulks of boys toasting their shins in the
kitchen.
Olive Logan announces in the Cincin-
natl Enquirer thet she kissed Miss Sally
Bernhardt on both cheeks recently. This
is terrible. Olive is forty she's
day. And yet the public ought to be
satisfied. 1t is not stated that Sally
kissed back in reply.
Women. remarks late essayist, skate
much better than men. Or is it that
their superior gracefulness gives them an
air of superior ease? 1 saw only one
girl the other day, and she managed it
beautifully, but several men came down
most ignominiously.
There is an old lady of Newburyport,
Mass, in her Goth year, who q few days
ago was out coasting with the young
people, and appeared to enjoy the sport
as much as any of them. She COM
planned, however, that the young men
did not hold her quite so tenderly as they
did the girls.
Charles Dudley Warner, in recent
lecture upon the character of English
people, said: "To speak the truth in
word and in deed is an English trait and
can be clearly traced in the character of
the people. To lie is unbecoming an
Englishman; not to lie is proverbial of
the people"
eyes," remarked musical critic,
recently from Kansas, 'the tddlin' was
bully; but tell you when that fat chap
with the big mustache laid hold of the
bass fiddle and went for them low notes
in the violin-cellar, just felt as if a
buzz-saw was playin' Yankee Doodle on
on my backbone.
"Soyou enjoyed your visit to the men
agerie, did your. inquired young Silla-
bub of his adored ones little sister.
ooh, yes; and, do you know, we saw
camel there that screwed its mouth and
eyes awfully, and sister said it looked
exactly like you do when you are recit-
ing poetry at the church sociables."
Individual Jews have become conspic-
nous in European politics, but now
Egypt, in turn, has promoted to the rank
of Pash4 and Assistant Secretary of
State an Austrian Jew. named Julius
Blum. 1t is said that no other Israel
ties since the time of Joseph of old has
reached such eminence in the land of the
Pharoahs.
No Trust.-One issue of Wisconsin
paper contains no less than thirteen
Lotices to the public not to trust my
wife on my account" etc.
John Armitage, of Cairo, asked
grocer to trust him for four pounds of
sugar and fell dead in the store.
Peter Cooper says he never ran in
debt to the amount of a dollar, and
he thinks this is the secret of his pros
perity.
An editor was accOsted one day with,
II thought it was the rule of your shop
never to give the authorship of any edi-
torial articlesv' THAT is our rule"
said the editor. "But the proprietor of
this paper told me who wrote the
leader yesterday" continued the caller.
Indeed" quoth he; who was it?'
"He said he wrote it himself" I'm that
CASE" answered the editor, quietly, "he
did not violate the rule; he merely lied"
i Hawkeye.