Louisiana capitolian. (Baton Rouge, La.) 1879-1881, 1881-06-23
THE sKIDMORE BUTTER.

lAO oh"VAo WhN e5ohVA0suAJ PANF-
tor of zone of our leading hotels had just
finished his first forty winks after re-
firing the other night, when he was
conscious of a slight noise under the
bed.
"C0me out of that or I'll blow you
full of Sutro tunnelsw he shouted as he
sat up in bed and cooked his revolver.
"Hold hard! Pm comingw said the
concealed party, scrambling from under
the bed. 1t was too dark to see clearly,
but the hotel keeper could perceive
shadowy form arise and lean affably
over the footboard
"What the deuce are you doing thereP
roared the incensed steak-stretcher.
"Now, keep cool-take it easy-don't
get excited said the intruder. blandly.
"Its all your own fault"
"What the blazes do you meanW
"Why, I've been trying-my nameis
Sliggs, agent for Slushington e. Slazey,
Philadelghia--p7e been trying to see
you for two weeks. Wanted to show
you patented article of the greatest
value to your business"
"Don't want to see any agent-but
what on earth do you mean by"
~ was just going to explain" Interrupt
ted the cheeky customer. II determin-
ed to see you at any risk, so l just hid
under the bed. You see / wanted to
get at you when you had nothing to
bother you. Plenty OF time to talk, You
understand"
"Well, Of all the gall"
II won't detain you minute" hasti-
ly continued the agent. ~ am trying
to introduce a patented article Of butter
and"
"We've arranged for all the oleomar.
garine we want" growled the hash.
server.
"But this is another article entirely
It's a composition Of semi-liquid rubber
colored and manipulated so as to resem
BILE the best clover-fed butter. By it,
use the boarder of the period can b.
brought SO as not to eat any butter
ALL"
Don't believe it," said the dyspepsi
aggravator, incredulously.
u "But it's fact all the same" went O
, the agent, sitting on the footboard an
lighting a cigarette. "You see, th
+ guest puts his knife into the butter, an
Z proceeds to butter his bread. That il
he thinks he does, but the rubber mer'
~ yields to the pressure Of the knit
f Instead of the portion being removed,
really slides back to the original roll
a he withdraws his knife. The board
a imagines he has spread the bread, hov
a ever, and eats it contentedly. You kno
J, how much imagination has to do wit
:. these things, anyhow"
II "Big money saved if the thing real
L worked" unused the landlord.
d "But it does work." persisted M
a Sliggs; "there are twenty-six resta
>, rants and four large hotels using it
IS Chicago. Big success, too. Doesr
d give the bread that peculiar-ahem!
It peculiar wheel-greasy favor Of regul
t. hotel butter. Besides, there are
}, hairs and things. If it wasn't SO da
Is I'd show you sample that has been
& use over eight months. Allyou have
IS do is to freshen it up with a little wat
n and a wooden dye once a month, Al
If there you are.
ID "pll think over it," said the gre
,e American extra" charger, thoughtf'
ly ly.
at 'Do so, and I'll see you in the MOI
s, ing;" and after tucking the COW
er around the landlords feet and biddi
GO him a CHEEKY goodnight, the but
,e agent unlocked the door and slid out
he Instead of inspecting the new boon
or tavern keepers the next morning,
'r. hotel man put in time writing an
I'd vertisement for the papers to the eff
IA that if the sneak thief who stole IL
k. seal rings, set of diamond studs,
at scarf pins, pair sleeve buttons, g
ed watch, and tifty-two dollars in &C
hit from room in the hotel, would ret'
%. the iewelry, he could keep the moi
ID and no questions asked.-san Francl
ole Post.
~ The Republican State Convention
y, North Carolina has decided to OPP