Democratic messenger. [volume] (Snow Hill, Md.) 1869-1973, 1881-03-12
WIT AND WISDOM.

i IS OFTEN silent, DuG ten party IL
the noisiest thing on record.
IT WAS Connecticut minister whose
salary was S25 year and half the fish
he caught.
IT is NOT possible for three people to
keep the same secret unless two OF them
are dead.
THE fool hath said in his heart, "Any
one can write for the paper" Try it.
0 fool, try it.
AN apologist for tobacco-smokingS \
holds that the more men fume the less
they fret.
WHEN an editor with cold in his
head writes an article he punctuates II
with blows.
GONE good turn deserves another, !
rs the man said when he turned the
organ grinder out of the front yard.
By wise provision of Providence,
close beside the little trees On which nut
megs grow often stands q greater:
EVERY man has three characteFs-S,
that which he exhibits, that which he
has and that which he thinks he has,
A. KdTr.
THE seat of knowledge is in the head;
of wisdom in the heart. We are sure
to Judge wrong if we do not feel right.
-HdztiH.
LET wickedness escape as it may OF
the bar, it never fails of doing justice
unto itself, for every guilty person IS his
own hangman.-Senecd.
A FEMALE spider eats her husbands
If Mormon women lived on husbands
there never would be enough left to
warm up in hash.
IT WAS one of the ancient sages who
said "The goodness of gold is tried by
fire, the goodness of women by gold,
and the goodness of men by women.
MANAGEMENT of the worlds fair,
is troubling New Workers just now. 1t
is problem Adam struggled with when
there was only one worlds fair, and she
got the best of him.
ALL things are comparative. To
nervous woman the problem of how to
get a caterpillar off her new bonnet Is
matter of greater moment than the
passage of the Rubicon was to Caesar. :
"WLL you have the audacity to moveV
a little further forward % is the way
conductor on the Boston street cars
puts it when he wants to make room-
for more passengers in his already
crowded car.
JoNEs's boy has had leg so lame
that he couldn't walk to school for
week, and after two doctors failed tor
cure it the old man had to get the lad a
pair of club skates to fix him right.
Boston Post.
PEcK's Sun has been looking mp the
millinery business, and it finds that
thirty ceuts' worth of velvet, three
cents worth of wire and forty cents
worth of feathers can be stirred up asaa-
sold for S25.
WE ARE always more disposed to laugh
at nonsense than at genuine wit, be-
cause the nonsense is more agreeable &c
us, being more conformaole to ouls ma
lures fools love folly and wise mea
wisdom. Marguerite de ValoiS.
LAST summer she was eating gree
corn by gnawing it from cob, whe
her teeth suddenly became entangii
with corn silk. ''Oh, DEAR" said sh
impatiently, "I wish when they get Il
corn made they would pull out bastir
threads p
The pretty daughter of Unit
States Senator desires us to withdr
our influence in favor of reducing +,
army. She says that iu Washington
society real good partners are very
scarce, even now, as few of the civids
know anything about dancing.
AFTER recent lecture in One
County, AN elderly gentleman approaci
the Hd,ckeye man and said: Mr..
dette, am very much pleased wit
Rise and Fall of the Mustache,'
haven't I read somewhere that
sometimes deliver funny lecture
A MARYLAND man was kicked
mule Just in time to get him out o.
way of stroke of lightning.
men would have seen q special
dence for this. But he didh-
cursed that the lightning didnt
him in time to get him out of t
of the mule.
"YoU are always kicking up
said a gentleman to a negro
wife who were having "mus'
is there no harmony in yor
"Dat's jess what I was te'
wufiess nigga" said the wom
amt no hominy in de hoI
meat, an de bacon's all eat
meal barl is empty. He is
in de house watts full all de