The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1881-04-29
Large Mouths Are Fashionable.

The fashion papers, which are author
ity on the styles, claim that ladies with
large mouths are all the fashion now,
and that those whose mouths are small
and rosebud-like are all out of STYLE
It is singular the freaks that are taken
by fashion. Years ago a red-headed
girl, with mouth like slice cut out of
O muskmelon, would have been laughed
at, and nov such girl is worth going
miles to see. It is easier to color the
hair red, and be in the fashion, than it
is to enlarge the mouth, though mouth
that has any give to it can be helped by
the constant application of a glove
stretcher during the day, and by hold
ing the cover to a tin blacking-box in
the mouth while sleeping. What in the
world the leaders of fashion wanted to
declare large mouths the style for, the
heavens only can tell. Take a pretty
face, and mortice out about third of
the front of it for mouth, and it seems
to us as though it is a great waste of the
raw material. There is no use that
large mouth can be put to that small
mouth would not do better, unless it is
used for a pigeon-hole to file away old
sets of false teeth. They can't, certain
Iy, be any better for kissing. You all
remember the travelling man who at
tended the church fair at Kalamazoo,
where one of the sisters would give
kiss for 10 cents. He went up and paid
his 10 cents, and was about to kiss her
when he noticed that her mouth was one
of these large, open.face, cylinder
escapement, to-be-continued mouths.
1t commenced at the chin and
went about four chains and three
links in a northwesterly direction,
then around by her ear, across I'M
der the nose and back by the other
ear to the place of beginning, and con-
tanning about twelve acres, more or less.
The travelling man said he was only
poor orphan, and had a family to sup
port. and if he never came out alive il
would be great hardship to those de-
pendent on him for support, and he
asked her as special favor that she
take her hand and take reef in one side
of the mouth SO it would be smaller.
She consented, and puckered in hand
full of what would have been cheek, had
it not been mouth. He looked at her
again and found that the mouth had be-
come very one-sided affair, and he said
he had Just one more favor to ask. He
was not man that was counted hard to
suit, when he was at home in Chicago,
but he would always feel as though he
had got his moneys worth, and go away
with pleasanter recollections of Kalama,
zoo, if she would kindly take her other
hand and draw the other side of her
mouth together, and he would be con-
tent to take his 10 cents worth out of
what was left unemployed. This was
too much, and she gave him terrible
look, and returned him his 10 cents,
saying: Do you think, sir, because you
are Chicago drummer, that for 10 cents
you can take kiss right out of the best
part of it? Go! Get thee to nun
merry" and he went and bought lemon
ade with the money.-Pecks Sun.
HISTORY has its satires as sharp as the
most biting darts of the schools. While
the direct descendants of the Bonapartes
are scattered over Europe in exile, or
living in France on sufferance, or mar
rying the daughters of gamblers at
Monaco, the line of the divorced En-
press Josephine is ruling in various
courts. marrying and mating with the
Oldest principalities on the continent,