The Northern Pacific farmer., 1881-11-03
s'English Spoken Here.',

Tibbitts tried to worry one Of these Par
isian salesmen, and for once succeeded.
He stopped the party promenading with
him on the Boulevard des Italiens at o
jewelers.. who displayed in his window the
legend, English spoken" The English
spoken" in the shops is good enough, as a
rule, to explain the nature and quality Of
the goods, and that is oil. Further, the
English speaking salesman has no more
idea of English than he has Of Ashantee.
Tibbitts marched in boldly, and the Eng
sh-speaking man appeared. He was a
we'll preserved, bald headed man of so,
and at him Iibbitts went.
''Do you speak English?"
"Oui-vees, monsieur"
Tibbitts grasped his hand enthusiastic
ally.
Its refreshingto to meet one In strange
"Yees, monsieur"
"Well, what want to know is, is the
Chicago and Northwestern railroad cutting
rates the same as the other roads, and do
they cut for western bound passengers the
| same as for eastern, and do you have the
remotest idea that the cutting will be kept
| up till September when I return, and does
the Pullman sleeping car company cut the
same as the railroad companies"
"Eh, monsieur? Zeese watches--"
"You don't quite understand me. You
see the Pullman sleeping car company is
quite distinct from the railroad companies,
and one may cut rates without the other.
See? Now, what want to know is"
The bewildered Frenchman, who spoke
English, stared in wild sort Of a way, but
his politeness did not desert him.
! "Ees eet ze watch, 70 diamond, ze-"
| Not yet. What want to know is, who
is this Lapham and Miller who have been
elected to till the vacancies occassioned by
the resignation of Platt and Conkling, and
is Miller going to be tailito Lapham's kite,
or are they both square, bang-up mon,
and"
will monsieur look at 20 goods?'
mo, no. Is the Chicago and Northwest
| ern in this row?"
By this time the Frenchman Was ont OF
patience.
Monsieur talks wat you call 'im-gib-
berish. / ave not ze time to waste. Eef il
eos ze watch"
"Sir," replies Tibbitts severely, when
you announce English spoken you should
speak English, or at least understand it.
Good morning, or, as you don't understand
the planest English, bong swoir."
! He had succeeded this time, and should
have rested on his laurels. But Tibbittses
alas, always overdo what they undertake.
He had extracted so much amusement from
his first experiment that he tried it over
again the next day.
He entered d similar place and com.
menced the same thing.
what want to know is, is the Chicago
and Northwestern in the railroad war, anC
do you suppose the cutting of rates viii
continue till September, when I return
and"
Indeed. I cannot tell you, sir. 1t il
something do not keep the run Of, Yor
had better apply at the American exchange
or the Herald Office"
This is the best and clearest American
English. Poor Tibbitts had fallen upon
bright American, who was turning hi
knowledge of French to good account b.
serving as salesman in Paris. Mr.. lib
bits smiled CHASTITY smile as he bowet
himself out OF the place. Bad marksmen
who by chance hit bulls eye, should b.
ve=y modest and refuse to shoot again
Even Napolean, great as he was, fought on
battle too many.