The Magnolia gazette. [volume] (Magnolia, Miss.) 1872-current, 1881-12-16
HuMoRs OF THE DAY.


AMAN may have tenants and yet have
no pay.rents
TnE concern that always makes money
the mint,
THERE is liyorceity Of opinion be-
tween many mon and their wives.
THE child never sees the necessity OF
strict obedience until it becomes APP
parent.
A MAN can possibly have no affection
for rheumatism, and yet he will do al
most anything for it.
A MAN never feels poor when he has
ten-doilar bill to wrap on the outside q
his roll Of ones. -Lolpet Citizen.
FAIR umpire at lawn tennis-"Only
keep your head, Mr.. Jones, and you are
sure TO have a soft thing.
AN OBSERVING laundryman has dls-
covered saat the time for him to
catch soft water is when it Is raining
hard.
THE Philadelphia Ctrontcle- Herald
thinks that Eve was giddy young thing
because she got married when she was q
day old.
IAN rHAT's the pillar Of Hercules ?"
she said, adjusting her silver spectaeles.
!" Gracious, what's tho rest Of his bed
clothes like? n
"BlND up my wounds, bring me an
other piece Of stovepipe and let the bat.
tie proceed Charge, tinker charge
On, stoyepipe, on !"
"WHAr is right in the concrete may
be left in the abstract, remarked senior
Alley as lie pulled his foot out OF his
shoe and left that article sticking to the
new made pavement.
TnE worst "spell Of the season comes
from Dakota postmaster, who ac-
knuwledged the receipt Of package OF
postal cards from the Holyoke fnctory,
IN these words Received the pac-
akichitch."
q M man was over elected President
WHO was born in a city. And yet, de-
anita This fact. bows continue to be born
In cities. They evidently don't aspire
to the Presidency They prefer to be-
come members Of baseball clubs.
A FRENoHMAN learning the English
language complained Of the irregularlty
Of the verb ito go, the present tense
az which some wag had written out for
him as follows; 9 60; thou startest;
he departs we lay tracks you cut
sticks; thou absquatulate or skedad-
die"
"VErIi. mein frent," snid an old jew
in London who, after having recovered
from fit which, it was thought, would
terminate III death, saw crucihx that
had been thrust in his face by pious
/, Catholic summoned to assist him home,
, ~ can lend you only two shillings on
, it,"
A WESTERN Coroners jury returned Q
verdict that the deceased came to his
death from exposure. "What do you
mean by that ~ asked a relative OF the
dead man. There are two bullet holes
III his skull" "Just so, replied the
Coroner "he died from exposure
/ bullets.
o HE WAS wealthy but penurious, and
this is what he said TO the suitor for his
daughters hand Yes you can hayt
@ her But you must elope with her
u cant afford the expense Of sweh wed
ding, and the romance OF the elopemenl
will make up for the lack OF show an'
. wen save $500 on expenses. Go it,
ii Boston Post
q ~ MArNTA1s,1 cried Mr.. Quillhopper
l. excitedly, "that no man has been u
Il such horrible predicament that h
H. could not be in worse one. "Ihat
= ali nonsense" answered the blond
Is youno man; ga relative Of mine wa
a. once on the sea in an open boat for te
le days with nothing to eat; on tn
4. eleventh day he was so hungry he ha
" % eat his own shoes what could b
q worse than that?" "Well, i" said MI
ar o., slowly, j" he might have had to ca
lr- some one else'sl" The blonde youn
an man wilted.