River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1881-05-26

An exchange puDllSneS an arIlCle
headed, "How to tell mad dog" We
have nothing to tell mad dog that we
cannot communicate by telephone or
postal card.
at is stranger than fiction" he re-
marked. "What is?" asked the pub
Usher A story founded upon facts, ?
replied the other, as he laid down the
book with sigh.
From off the running rivulet the icy chain is
And the autter of the winglet of the dovelet is
abroad
The quacklet of the ducklet in the brooklet we
shall hear
pear.
Lolita Darling is a clairvoyant at
Lawrence, Mass, but her sight was not
strong enough to discern the approach
of her husband while another man was
kissing her, or fight might have been
prevented.
A school teacher in Berks county,
Pennsylvania, has whipped fifty-eight
pupils and had seventeen fights with
fathers since November LIST. During
the holidays he breaks colts and hunts
wolves.
Here lies man whose crown was won
BY blowing in an empty gun,
And met the girl on heavens green
Who lit the fire with kerosene,
He also saw astFide a stool
The man who tempered with mule.
Rochester Express.
The walls of the lately burned Palace
Hotel in Buffalo have been thrown
down by blasting with giant powder.
The charges were fired by electricity,
and the bricks and stones of the 160-foot
wall all fell within radius of seventy
feet and not a window was broken in
any of the neighboring houses.
Arkansas papers are greatly excited
because Frank McGhee, one of the
wealthiest planters in that state, who
married beautiful young lady last
week. has mysteriously disappeared.
Probably he has gone off to sell his prop
erty and buy Mrs. McGhee spring
bonnet,
f'Do | look like rabbit" asked CO.
lionel H. B Andrews, Vice-President Of
the Sunset route, as a San Antonio news
paper man came in and took seat on
the edge of chair "Do you look like
rabbi? Why Colonel, what a singular
question: What makes you think you
look like Rabbi" 90, nothing, except
so many people come to me to see
about their annual passover the road.
Nine thousand three hundred and
seventy-four women have been heard
to remark during house cleaning epe-
demic 81 have toslook out for every
thing; everything is left to me; moth
ing is done unless do it: it's enough to
try the patience offs saint. Boston Trans
cript.
Secretary Kirkwood has stated that,
in order not to awaken any unfrlendly
or hostile feeling among the crow In
dams, he deems it advisable that before
preliminary surveys are made through
their reservation by the surveyors of the
Northern Pacific Railroad Company the
Indians shall be informed by the Indian
agent that their rights of property will
be fully respected, and that the road
will not be permitted to pass through
until the Indians are amply compensat-
ed for the right of way,
The centennial anniversary of the
y
army over the British at Cowpens was
celebrated on the battle-ground. Gov.
Hagood, Thomas Wentworth Higgin-
son, Senator Wade Hampton, and rep
resentatives from several of the thirteen
original States made speeches. There
was a review of South Carolina MALTA
and on the whole the affair was very
successful and credible to all concerned.
1t has been intimated that the at
tention of the Texas legislature. soon
to meet in extra session, will be called
to the question of dividing the state in
to four. The Galveston Ne1Us ridicules
this idea, and says the session will be
called to divide the state into repre-
sentative districts, and will go no furth-
er. In the legislature a resolution de-
claring that Texas relinquishes her
right so divide her territory into four
new additional states as provided for in
the articles admitting the state into the
union was voted down.
Gihooly was talking with Col. deSmith
about eating. Said the latter 81 cant un-
derstand how people can eat supper, for
| am very temperate in eating. When |
eat dinner | never take anything for
supper" mo wonder you don't eat
any supper. If ate as much for din
ner as I've seen you eat, would not be
able to cat again 70 forty-eight hours.
Where would you put your supper I'M
less you had stomach-pump" Thus it
is that lifelong friendship is severed
Galveston NeWs
rro l,1;o. bo,,deo,,oI,, JrosSod an
tered car. A gentleman rose and Of
fered one of them a seat. She said to
the other lady: "Dear, you take it. |
am very tired, but you are much more
tired than | am" The other said mo
der, you look so weary, and cant rob
you of it" Then another gentleman
rose, both ladies took seats, and
one said: What lovely time we
had. l feel so much brighter for run
nng OUT" while the other replied: Il
haven't felt so well for ages. Shopping
is a great pleasure. I'm all in glow"
The Directors of the Union Pacific
Railway complain that their Company
has not been properly nor fully com
uensated for services rendered the Unit
ed States for carrying the mails from
the construction of the road until 1875,
and have filed a petition in the Conrt of
Claims asking for 81, 141.720, being the
amount which the Company says
is rightfully due. The Court heard the
argument on the matter and will prob
ably render decision in few weeks,
Mrs. Victoria Woodruff has in some
ingenious manner succeeded in hood
wInking the British public and making
it believe that her character was really
very different from what it is. She OBJ
tains columns in Mr.. Edmund Yates
and other papers devoted to n defense
of herself, as if a successful defense
really could be made. Mrs. Woodruff
assumes that her views on the subject
of free We were expressed only in her
Wee' She is silent in regard to her
lee -, which were delivered in all
D the United States, and were of
81 laracter that the proprietors
c. ,ctable halls in many instances
cd to rent them to her.
,yhen we are old, Claud, we shall be
lovers" she said, gazing into his eyes
with rapture of a gifted woman who
writes poetry for the boston papers. The
warm hues of our youthful affection
shall never fade. but only grow brighter
as we draw nearer to the sunset. We
shall still sit out in the hush of the