Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1881-07-08
DEAD-HIEADs.

Csrbuncles on ships, moss OH trees and
rust on steel need to be scraped and rubbed
off TO secure progress, growth and worth.
Purity In nature and art combines strength,
beauty and usefulness. Such il the nature
Of things in this world Of ours where moth
and rust doth corrupt and thieves break
through and steali we need almost every
day 10 go into the cleaning up process.
Sweeping, scrubbing, washing, hand. wash.
ing, house e-washing, ,street.washing. 1t will
not do TO stop here. We need national
washtub, soft, pure water and the very best
of soap. Perhaps II might be we'll for
some everlasting yankee to set his wits TO
work to zee II he cannot make a bran new
national washing machine. Somehow or
| other hitherto Uncle Sam has been both.
cred to get clean linen for daily use. He
has already very large family and some
of the children are forever kicking up
terrible dust. Roscoe or Sam or JEFF take
u notion into their heads that they can run
the family ipstitution, the old gentleman
to the contrary Notwithstanding. Then
there are 10 many departments-Judici
Legislative, Execulive-chairs of state,
benches Of the court, budgets, and bureaus,
and lots of things on the carpet, all at one
| aud the same time. In such large fam
| ily, where there 10 30 much to do, il may
be difficult to find out what ought to be
done first. Just now Uncle Sam is pitch
ing into the Postoffice department, cleaning
up the Star routes. As there ia a large
amount Of money to he saved ty this oper-
| alton, the work ought to be well done If
IL tnkes all Summer. Some Of the boys
don't like to be washed. Uncle Sam scrubs
them 80 hard il makes their cheeks red and
some of them feel sore. But then, the gen.
eral health of the whole family demands
thorough work. Which department comes
in next for scrubbing is not fully known.
Some of the boys have been getting lawless
In the territorial department. The old gen.
tleman has spoken several times about
their shameless conduct. One would think
that by this time his patience would be
exhausted. Uncle Sam has very high no.
tious of the standard of propriety by which
to preserve the purity and welfare of hi,
household. A law had been passed that
no one of the boys should ever have more
than one wife at time. And ii anyone
ever broke over the rule lie was severely
punished. But a net of fellows put theft
heads together and determined to have NJ
many wives MS they pleased in spite of the
old gentleman. So they went off into one
of the territories among the Indians and
set up Turkish harem, sent agents al
around TO hunt up all the sneaking fellow,
who did not like to go to School and never
could put two decent ideas together. Ant
now horrendum spectacular they call them
selves Latter-day Saints Shake theii
fists in Uncle Sans face and say to hin
and the rest OF the family we will do az ",
please--touch us il you dare. Well, wler
c.,
family there is apt to he storm of light
ming followed by thunder. Some of til,
boys who abused their brothers down Soutl
found that out. When the old gentleman
found out that some OF them were deter
mined to resist his authority and knocl
their brothers about and trample them un
der foot he did not send a washing ma
chine TO scrub them out, but he sent Ulys
ses with threshing machine and tllreshe,
them out beautifully in full measure. Thes
fellows who are polluting our family will
abominable ideas and scandalous practice
of which heaven and earth ought to b
ashamed will soon find that it will avail
! them nothing to- steal the livery OF henve
to serve the devil in" That game ha
been played out a long time ago. The latte
part of the nineteenth century demand
better things. We are earning, not To-
late we trust, that the doctrines Of the de
spised Nazarene are the best for the comfor
and we'll being of Uncle Sam's big famil
and his boys md girls are not going to b
imposed upon by anyone, be he foreign o
home or high or low born, who wants L
play smart under the cloak of christianity
That pure system Of faith and practice hu
been scandalized already too long. Uncl
Sam has got his back up and is fully ben
ON exterminating the whole breed OF sane
timonious harlot makers, sanity drunkar
makers and pious, long faced dead heEds,
NED.