Osage Valley banner. (Tuscumbia, Miller County, Mo.) 1879-1881, 1881-03-31
Have Cows Front Teeth In Their Up.
per Jaws!

morning as they were starting for their
places OF business, and one Of them, |
who resides on Van Buren street, asked |
the other. q jackson street man. il cows (
1 had any front teeth on their upper law
| The jackson street MAJ was little I
astOnislIed at the question, as there had
i been nothing said about cows, but re-
/ piled promptly:
"Why, OF course My have front
I teeth ON their uFper jaSs9 ilss~ esdid
/ they bite OF grass Il they hadn'tP'
The Van Burcn street man said it was
not a question of logic, bat q question
OF fact: and II the Jackson street man
/ did not know whether cows had front
teeth on the upper jaw or not, he ought
90 say so. 81 did not ask you for your
opinion" he said; ~ asked if you
/ knew"
The jackson street man was a little
nettlcd at this. aad replied with some
warmth. He said if he had a child
three years old who would ask such
I question as that he should be afraid the
I child was an idiot.
"You would?n
81 certainly should"
"Then,n said the Van Buren, street
man, "as IL is such a simple question,
I of course you can tell me whether cows
/ have got front teeth on tii5ir upper jaws
or whether they have not
"Why, of course they have"
"1hey have, eh?h
Yes"
"rn bet you ten dollars they
haven't" said the Van Buren, street
/ citizen. pulling out roll OF bills, and
] S.F si,
them at his neighbar =" Put upor shut
up"
There is some Internal catch about
/ this thing, said the other, suspicious
"; II might have known it, too, the
minute yon asked me such an Internal
1 idi0tic question"
No catch at all about it" replied
the other, If cows have got front teeth
on their upper jaws the ten dollars is
/ yours. II they havent the money is
mine. Nothing conld be fairer than
that, could there?
l{ut still the jackson street man hesi-
tated. twas barely possible TINT cows
did not have any front tseth on their
upper Jaws He remembered, then,
that COWS in biting of grass always
threw their noses outward, while horses
uipped il Of by jerking their nose in-
ward He was astonished at how near
he had come TO being victimized, but
he did not like 10 come down The
two were then near the meat market,
near the corner of jackson and Michi-
can streets, and tho jackson street man
was sure that butcher would know
for certain whether or not COWS had
front teeth on their upper jaws; so he
pushed open the door and said 10 the
( proprietor:
'I.inehan, have cows got front teeth
on their upper jawsP'
Linehan was running skewer
through n roast of beef, lut he stopped,
looking up in astonishment. and said:
"WhatPh
'.Iiave COWS got front teeth on their
upper iaws?'
"CowsP'
Yes"
"Got front teeth on their upper
jaws?"
Yes
Upon my word l don't know
''You don't knowP'i
''No. You see buy my beef by the
quarter a. the slaughter-house, and
Nph NuNt huNNhAhR ~ uu WAth tiAt
heads. But can find out for you when
/ 60 over"
IL wish you would"
So the jackson street man closed the
door, and reioined his ueighbor and
the two walked along without saying a
word. a milk wagon was seen coming
up the street. and it was resolved u
hail the driver and ask him the ques
tion. rs Il is popularly supposed that
milkmen are more or less familiar with
cows. The Van Buren street citizen
cleared his throat and yelled. "Hellor'
Tho milkman reined mp, and said;
Go ahead with your tests. If you
find any water or chalk in that milk I'll
give YOU the whole Of 1t.
The citizen told him to be calm, a,
they had no intention of testing hii
milk, but only wanted to know i
COWS had front teeth on their upper
Jaws.
The milkman looked at them about {
minute and then whipped up his horses
and drove or mentioning some kind o
a fool that they were. Up on Wiscon
sin street they saw another milkman
delivering milk. and overtaking hin
they explained the dispute. He smileS
pitying(y upon their ignorance, ans
said:
"Oi course cows have front teeth oi
their upper Jaws "a driveling idio
ought TO know that much. a COW
would he handsome-looking objec
without any front teeth in her uppe
law. wouldn't sheaN
I've concluded to take that bet o
yours said the jackson street man Z
the other Come, now, down witt
your dust Put up or shut up
! why didn't you do II, then, whel