The Indianapolis leader. (Indianapolis, Ind.) 1879-1890, 1881-04-02
Distresses of the Newly Married.

Last week young man from the country
west of here came in on the evening train
and walked up to Grand avenue with a
fresh looking woman hanging on to one
handle of sachel, while he held the other.
They turned into the Plankinton House.
and with wild light in his eye the man
went to the book and registered his name,
and that of the lady with him. While the
clerk was picking out couple of rooms that
were near together, the man looked around
at the colored man who had the sachel. and
as the clerk said Sc Show the gentleman to
No. 50 and the lady to No. 67," he said,
Hold on, squire! One room will do" On
being shown TO the room the bridegroom
came II sht out with the bell-boy and ap-
peared at the Office. Picking one, benevo-
lent looking gentleman, with a good place
to raise hair on his head, who was behind
the counter, the groom said:
"Say, can man enjoy religion in this
house?"
Mr.. White said man could if he brought
it with him. They had none on hand to
issue to guests, but they never interfered
with those who had it when they arrived.
Why" says the manager of the house,
=" has anybody interfered with your devo-
tions here?'
10, not here, said the man, wiping his
forehead with red handkerchief. "But
they have at Dubuque. I'll tell you how it
was. L was married couple of days ago,
and night before last put up at Dubuque
hotel. Ny wife hal never been married be-
fore, any at all, and she is timid and thinks
everybody is watching and making fun of
us. She jumps at the slightest sound. Well,
we went to our room in the afternoon and
she began to cry, and said if she wasn't mar
ried che never would be the longest day she
lived. l sort of put my arm around her,
and was just telling her that everybody had
to get married. when there was knock at
the door, and she jumped more than thirty
feet. You see that finger. Well, a pin on
her belt stuck clear through, and came near
making me faint away. held my finger in
my mouth, and telling her the house was
not on fire, l went to the door and there
was porter there who wanted to know if 1
wanted any more coal on the fire. l drove
him away and sat down on q big rocking
chair with my wife in my lap, and was
stroking her hair and telling her if she would
forgive me for marrying / would never do
so again, and trying to make her feel more
at home, when there came another knock at
the door, and she jumped clear across the
This seal ring caught in her frizzes, and I'll
be cussed if the whole top of her head didn't
come of. was q little Hurried and went to
the door, and a cham bermaid was there with
an armful of towels, and she handed me
couple and went off, My wife came into
camp again and began to cry and accuse me
of pulling her hair; then went up to her
and put my arm around her waist, and was
just going to kiss her, Just as any man would
be justified in kissing bis wife under the cir
cumstances, when she screamed murder aad
fell against the bureau. i looked around
and the door had opened and there was
colored man coming into the room with q
kerosene lamp, and he chuckled and said he
begged my pardon. Now, / am a man that
don't let my temper get away with me, but
as it was three hours before dark, / didn't
see what was the use of q lamp, and told
him to get out of there. Before 9 o'clock
that evening there had ben twenty raps at
the door, and we got silk. My wife said
she would not stay in that house for mill
ion dollars. So we started for Milwaukee.
tried to get a little sleep on the cars, but
every little while conductor would wake
me up and roll me over in the seat to look
at my ticket, and brahemen would run
against my legs in the aide of the car, and
shout the names of stations till was sorry
1 ever left home. Now, want to have rest
and quietude. Can 1 hare it here2"
The manager told him TO go to his room,
and if he wanted any coal or ice water, to
ring for it, and if any body knocked at his
door without being sent for, to commence
shooting bullets through the door, That
settled it, and when the parties returned to
lowe, they said this country was q mighty
sight different from Dubuque.