Louisiana capitolian. (Baton Rouge, La.) 1879-1881, 1881-07-14

home one day from picnic and found
he had eaten up old Aunt Maria, who
had been left at home to mind the house
-leastwise she was nowhere to be found;
and SO Jay Gould seemed sorter bulgy-
like, and kept coughing up hairpins and
false teeth for a day or two, we kinder
suspicioned the whole thing"
"Maternal aunt ?" inquired the show
man, thoughtfully.
EXACTLY. Ny wife took on dread
fully at first, and wanted me to shoot
Jay right off. But l told her that he
probably suffered good deal as it was,
and that as most likely he'd catch rheu-
matism and things from the remains,
we'd better call it square"
"And did she ~
"Well, she kinder got reconciled after
awhile, especially as Jay seemed fond Of
playing with the children. One morn
ing soon after that my wife's mother
whole family lived with me, you see
didn't come down to breakfast. As all
her false hair was hanging over chair
back, and Gould crawled out from under
the bed licking his chops, and with his
tongue good deal coated-mother-in-
law was always taking things sfor the
liver complaint-we saw at once it was
another visitation of Providence, and
that the heavy hand of affection was
again upon u.s."
Cooked that way, didn't it,"
"Well, as You may suppose, the old
lady-that's my wife-pranced around a
good deal then, and got down the breach
loader right away. But just then ar
rived a gold medal from the S. P. c. A..
society, awarded Oh account Of my for
bearance in the Aunt Maria business, and
so got her calmed down after awhile"
''Pacified her, oh p
eyes; managed to arrange reprieve
for Jay, somehow. You see, l was awful
fond of pets, and tender.hearted, and
all that, you understand. ! argued
that the poor animal didn't know that he
was doing wrong-merciful man is mer-
ciful to his beast, etc., etc. That
smoethed things over for another
month"
"What happened then ?"
"Well, one day l sent Tommy, our
youngest boy, down to the store for some
sugar, and he took Gould along for COM
pany. Now, whether it was because Jay
was fond of sugar, Or not, don't know,
but he came home alone, and as soon as
we noticed a peculiar kind of bulge on
his ribs, about as big as Johnny, we
concluded that the dread archer had
marked another Skidmore-my name is
Skidmore-fo his own. The whole fam.
| lily took on like MAD, and Mrs. Skid was
about to shove the powder keg under J.
G. and touch it off herself, when l point.
ed out that it wouldn't do to desecrate
our offspring's tomb in that way. So
Just had the burial service read over the
lion, and tied Grape around his neck fol
thirty days. How does that strike you p
CATER that you kept the animal
chained ?"
"Well, no. The fact is 1 set out to
get a chain several times, but one thing
and another prevented, until one day
last week 1 actually missed the old lady
herself. l looked around for her couple
of days, when somehow Of a sudden
sorter imagined where she was. ! gave
Gould about half pound Of emetit
right away, but all we could get out o.
him was pair of high-heelsd shoes ant
chest protector. It was too late-tot
late! We put the shoes and things in
coffin, and had Jay led behind tn
hearse to the cemetery. Wanted tt
have as much of the corpse present az
possible-don't you see9 We had the
animal all decorated with flowers ant
things, as fine as you please. Folks
said it was the touchlngest thing tina
ever took place in them parts" and thu
bereaved husband sighed heavily.
'tDon't wonder you want to sell th
BEAST" remarked the menagerie NAL
after a pause.
"Well, i sorter do, and sorter don't
said Mr.. Skidmore, abstractedly
'There's so many memories and thing
clustering around J. G.-seems kinde
like parting with ones family buryin
lot, as it were. On the other hand
though, now that the old lady Is gone,
sorter feel as if the insect had,--well
had outlived his usefulness, so to speai
So suppose l just have this box haule
around to your show after the perfo1