The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1881-05-10
LADY PHYSIcI ms.
Why it Will Never Do to Call
Them for q Very Sick Man.

Vu6m lOT . v ga S4SA @oo.
Peck's sun.
A st. Louis doctor factory recently
turned out y dozen female doctors
As long NJ the female doctors wer'
confined to one or two in the whole
country, aud those were only expert
mental, We held our peace aud did no
complain; but now that the college
are engaged in producing femaI,
doctors As business, We must protest
aud ia 50 doing will give few reasons
why female doctors will not prove 4
paying branch OF industry.
Ia the frs; place, if they doctor any
body it must be women, and three
fourths of the women would rather
have male doctor. Suppose thoss
colleges turn out female doctors until
there are as many uf them as there
are male doctors, what have they goi
to practice on? A man, If there was
nothing the matter with him, might
call 10 a female doctor, hut II he Wa.
SICK Us horse Of man is sick be is al
sick as horse, the last thing he would
have around would be a female doctor
Aud why Because. when a man has q
female fumbling around him be wants
to feel we'll. He don't want to be
bilious or :everish, with his mouth
tasting like cheese, ana his ewes blood.
shot when the female is looking him
over and taking account Of stock.
fcourse, these female doctors are
all young and good-luoking, aud ii
Ole Of them came into sick room,
where q man was in bed, ami he had
chills, and was as cold AS wedge, aud
she should sit up close to the side of
the bed and take hold Of his hand, his
pulse would run up to $50, and she
would prescribe for fever when he
had chiiblains. Oh, YOU can't tool US
on female doctors. A man who has
been sick, and had male doctors,
knows just how much he would like
to have female doctor come tripping
In and throw her furIined cloak over a
chair, take of her gloves and
throw them on a lounge, and come up
to the bed with pair Of marine blue
ewes, with twinkle ir the corner,
aud look him in the wild, changeable
eyes, ard ask him to run on: his
tongue. Suppose he knew his tongue
Was coated so it looked like 4 yellow
Turkish towel. do yeu suppose he
would want 10 run out over ) or 6
inches ot the lower part OF it and let
that female doctor put her finger on If
to see now furred i: was! Not muc.,.
lie would put that tongue up into his
check, aud wouldn't let her see it for
p cents admission. We have all
Seen doctors put their hands under the
bed clothes and feel of mans feet TO
see il they were cold. If u female
d"ctor should do that it would give a
man cramps in the legs. A male
doctor can put his hand ON a mans
stomach. aud Ever an.l iungs. and ak
him il me feels any pain there; but if
female doctor should do the same
thing it would make a man sick, and
he would want 10 set up and kick
himself for employing female doctor.
Oh. there is 40 use talking, it would
kill a man.
Now, suppose a man has heart
disease, and a female doctor should
want TO listen to the beating of his
heart. She would Law her left ear on
his left breast. S" her eyes and rosebud
mouth would he looking right in his
face, and her wavy hair would he
- ~,und there, getting
tangled III :iIc buttons of his night
shirt. Don't you suppose his heart
would get in about twenty extra beats
70 the minute! You bet! And she
would smile-we will bet SO she
would smile-and show her pearly
teeth. and the ripe lips would be
working As though she were counting
the beats, and he would think she was
irving to whisper to him, and.
Well. what would he he doing all
this time? II he was not dead vet,
which would he wonder, his left
hand would brush the hair away
from her temple and kind of stay there
= keep the hair away. and his right
hand would get sort of nervous and
move around to the back of her head,
and when she had counted the heats a
few minutes ana was raising her head
he would draw her head up to him,
kiss her once for luck If he was as
bilious rs Jersey swamp angel, and
have her charge it in the bill. And
then reaction would set in, and he |
would be as weak rs q cat. and she |
would have to fan him and rub his |
head till be got over being nervous,
and then make out his prescription
after he got asleep. No; all OF a mans
symptoms change when famale doctor
is practicing on him, and she would
kill him dead.
Cheese Made from Potatoes.
A foreign paper SAYS that cheese is
made from potatoes in Thuringla and