Daily Republican., 1881-07-28
THOROUGH JOB.

} spend all that labor on the job, if no
for money!
"Nobody would have seen the poo
" ork on it,"
"Rut | should have known it wa
Ihere. No; I'll taks only the dolla
and u half" And he took it and wen
away.
Ten years afterwards, the Judge ha(
the contract to give Tor the building o
certain magnificent public buildings
lhere We're many applicants among
master-hllilders, but the face of ont
caught his eye.
1T was my man of the fence" he
said. II knew we should have only
good, genuine work from hi.u. gave
INN the contract, and it made q rich
man of him .
1t isa pity that boys were rot taught
IN their earliest years that the highest
success belongs only to the man, be he
carpenter, farmer, author or artist,
whose work is most sincerely and
thoroughly done.
QUEER ADVERTISEMENTS
Some Of our advertisements are as
comical as Punch. One landlady, Ell
tlrely innocent OF grammatical anowl-
edge, adTertises that she has ga fine,
well-furnished bed room for a gentle.
man twelve feet square," another has
"a cheap and desirable suit of rooms
Tor a respectable family in good repair"
still another has ga hall bed room for a
single woman Sxl?." An English wild
oW became rather mix1d by her grief,
but when announcing the death of her
husband she lost sight of the main ques-
lion Is virtues were beyond price,
and his beaver hats were only seven
teen shiIlings. He has left large stock
to be sold at the old stand. He was
Snatchtd to the other world lust az he
had concl luded an extensive purchase OF
felt which he got 80 cheap that his wild
oW can sell felt hats fraction less than
any other house in Lon,ion. Peace be
to his ashes; the business will be car.
rled on as usual. FIX.
If Letter carriers were not too busy to
derlphrr every postal card which pas
ses through their hands, how astoni,l.
ing the contents OF some of them would
ne Lake Tor instance the following
which was written on one recently
Gut The body in sharp points before
and behind lace it down the back !:
cut III" next square slash the elbows |
and fill them in with vciucd illusion
slash the hips and corn it al, round, |
and don't fail to gore rs directed. =. S. |
ON second thought you'd better
hook it, To the uninitiatnl this
might seem to be- intended either for |
student OF anatOmyOr butcher. |
1t was simply directions from a leader
2f the mode to n fashionable dress
maker.
When the contribution box was pass
Nj in certain church on Sunday last,
young man passed in his mite, but
lld not discover until too late that he
lad given two ten cent pieces stuck to.
ether. Then he looked up and smiled,
nd the deacon smiled. They both know
low 1t is. Beer Is sometimes adhesive
y conducive.
"iave you any fresh eggs" "Yes,
mum, plenty them with the hen on
an y with the hen on them 20
Yes, mum we always puts a hen on
rr fresh eggs to distinguish of 'e'c.
'eg pardon, mum don't ,hink you un-
erstand. Hen the latter, not 'en the :
ird. Hen for noolad. Take dozen, -,
lum ?" "rhank you."
There IS q Young lady in Keokuk, a
oWa, who is six feet four inches tall. {
nd she is engaged to be married. The /
IAN who won her did it in these !,
'ords: "Thy beauty set my soul agow /
I'd wed thee right or wrong; man v
ants but little here below, but wants :,
lat little long,
"Iou are now one, said the minister v
the happy pair he had just tied to- a
ether with a knot that they could \
ever undo. (Which one 2" asked tie \
ride. "You will have to settle that for +
ourselves" said the clergyman. t.
Ella Wheeler is out with new poem, y
Mama will not leave home" It's one
those sad, pensive strains which
rap young man up in melancholic
oom like large looking glass tied up .,
bedquilt. =, =,
! wouldn't care to be the prettiest girl it
ive?' simpered a swain as he sat in OF
awing room. 'Indeed! Why not tt
as the response. "Because" said he, IL
"a rather be next to her. III
'Do you see that lovely girl over there is
m? Well, she is called Elaire, after al
nnyson's heroine" Is she though? W
hen she is in one of her tantrums, | pl
Duld call her Madelaine." br
well, you'll own she's got a pretty 'e ',
VI, won't you?" Eyes, ri grant you ,', d,
1t; but it never made bali as much ."
III impression on me az the old mans H.
4 man in England once said, speak sa,
, OF u youth who had married impru. do
ltly, "Why, he didn't want wife wi
' moorn a toad wants a side pocket" no
why, are you alive yet, my old ME
md? heard you were dead" "Nice abb
md you are. You didn't even come ha
my funeral" sto
he t;lvorite dance Of the fruit-preser-
is the can-can. The anglers favor
dance is the reel. The tippler's the 7
tisch. al
was Artemus Ward who said there son
two things in this world for which Ian
one is ever prepared-nanely, twins. riv
! certain musical critic is no full of yol
sic that he finds it impossible to eat MS
meals save with tuning-fork. u
is sold by the grocer, GU on D.,
} tells you it is just from the cow ~ 70
SO it is, but the COW is dead. Ar
here's fly in my tea ha,
ank you, sir, 1 didn't notice it, Am
s down a check for five cents extra, and
'hy is an egg like colt? Because in e
not fit for use until broken. can
hen is cat like teapot? When III W :
re teasin' 1t. SUI
hen is a man like looking-glass ,enf
N he reflects. Tho
kiss may be printed but should noe tage
lblished. suce