The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1881-09-07
ALL SORTS.

| thinKs that, although not much OF o
senator, as colonizer he is O glowing
success.
1t is now said that early rising Is the
cause OF many nervous diseases. This
will be boon to Sarah's young man
when he wishes to stay late and rise
later.
Connecticut people are complaining
OF the uncleanliness Of the willow tree.
They look upon the weeping willow as
crying evil.
Burdette thinks that as New York
harbor is reported full OF sharks, 1t Is
great pity some Of them couldn't get
ashore, and prowl around the streets
for half day.
Black birch is said to be coming rap
idly into favor. 1t was never out Of
favor with the country schoolmaster,
although the small boy is not yet recon.
| ciled to it.
In some states the evidence OF man
who habitually goes fishing twice
year will not be received in the courts.
The reason for this bit of judicial wis
dom is obvious.
II Oscar Wilde had told OF the bar.
rem memory OF "uncussed cusses" he
would have appealed strongly to the
sympathy OF the man who has felt
flea on his back in church.
That was funny mistake OF the man
who took up testament. and CHANGING
at the running title, rs. Matthew"
said that he always knew Stanley was
smart, but didn't know he ever wrote
on religious subjects.
Arizona ministers prudently leave
their revolvers on the bank when going
into the water to baplize converts, but
never 20 in so far but what they can
reach the weapon in two jumps, II nee
eSSary.
Eldest Daugn.er--I think You might
let me come out mamma I'm 20, You
know, and surely I've finished my
education! Festive mamma (by no
means prepared to act the part of
chaperone and wall-H0wer) Not yet,
my love, Society is too hollow! Ireal-
ly must preserve that sweet girlish
freshness OF yours a little while longer
The night had suddenly overloaded
aud bccome quite stormy. Being of
continental turn she accordingly took
her seat at the piano and began TO sing,
Unto some lives the rain must fall"
But he was entirely practical, and,
clutching her arm. said tenderly,
Sing something else darling; you
know didn't bring my umbrella"
A romantic maiden was rescued from
drowning at Nantaskct by her lover.
When she had sufficiently recovered
from the shock aud fright to feel like
talking, she overwhelmed him with re-
proaches My darling" he replied
! in establishment; you surely did not
| wish me to let you perish9" NO" she
exclaimed angriy, but why didn't
You let me go down for the third timer"
The salaries paid the Missionary
Secretaries are as follows: Presbyterian,
North, S5,OOOi Presbyterian, South,
SZoU0; Congregatlonallst, $4,000; Bap'
list Missionary Union, W, 900; South
ern Baptist Convention, $4,000; Metho-
DIST, North 1000; Methodist. South,
SZ,oooi hplScopaIIan' s3'0oo; DISCIPLES
SoVo' Cumberland Presbyterian Sl,-
Soo'
'Why 90 you wish to leave school at
your ageS sao'V asked the principal
OF q country school out near Danyille,
demonstrating win sanay-haired
pupil OF II years; ''you have learned
comparatively nothing up to this time.
"lye learned one thing mighty solid.
anyhow" persisted the student" And
what is thatP' asked the teacher. "Tve
learned that mistake in spellin' that
only fetches a boy cuff on the ear
keeps a big girl in two hours after
school" Young man." said the
principal, handing the boy his books,
''you should have left school three years
ago"
A leafy background. two noble trees,
hammock swinging beneath, and she
on whom your heart is fixed lazily
swinging in the same, is a very pretty
picture, Young man, very pretty, and
we don't blame YOU for being attracted
by u magnet of such wondrons power.
But consider il your means will enable
YOU to keep that picture all your DAYS,
or whether in the coming time II will
not be supplantsd by chrome Of a
WORKOUT. faded woman frying dough-
nuts over a hot fire in the middle Of
hot summer day. The two pictures arc
intimately connected
An Incorporated company for sheep