The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1881-05-18
VARIETIES.

| lie, and Tell when that Sanclty was
undetermined.
A wife full of truth, innocence and
love is the prettiest flower a man can
wear next to his heart.
When 1 was a young man l was
always in hurry to hold the big end
Of the log and do all the lifting; now
l am older, | seize hold of the small
end of the log and do all the
grunting.
ooh, dear!" exclaimed Edith to her
doll, 81 do wish you would sit still.
never saw such an uneasy thing in
all my life. Why don't you act like
grown folks ana be still and stupid
for while ?"
Good service is prompt service. 1t
ceases to be favor when he upon
whom it is conferred has lost in pa
thence and hope deferred what he
might have received with love and
gratitude.
Thirty days after a Michigan man
got a divorce from his wife to marry
one with a handsomer face, the d.
vorced woman tell heir to $2S1 600,
You bet that TX, husband feels like a
man with the jumping toothache.-
Detroit Free Press.
Women are such inconstant crea-
lures We heard young lady re-
mark rather inelegantly, it must be
confessed, that she hated shat Biggs
fellow, he is such soft cake !" Well,
in less than three months, she took
the cake.-Bostoa ZranScript
The mild splendors Of the rising
sun, the ruddy, glowing tinss of the
evening, the moons calm radiance III
a serene night-all these swell our
bosoms with pleasures; but sweeter,
s,ill sweeter, my son, is the recollec-
ton OF benevolent deed GeSsner.
A railroad engineer saying that
the usual life of a locomotive was
only thirty years, a passenger re-
marked that such a tough'lonklng
thing ought to live longer than that.
"Well, responded the engineer,
perhaps it would if it didn't smoke
SO much"
When an old backw oodsman was
about to take his first ride on a MIS-
sissippi steamer he was asked wheth-
-er-ire would take7deck- or cabin pas
sage. "Well, said he, in a resigned
sort OF way, "rve lived all my lite
in a cabin, aud I guess cabin passage
will be good enough tor rough chap
like me-"
The sweetest and most signal re-
venge to inhict upon enemies, who
seek 10 belittlc our labors or under
estimate our abilities, Is to do every
thing well to lead irreproachable
lives, earn popular confidence and re-
soect, to eschew all but laudable un.
dertaking, to success III every ACT
and labor Success is the most effect
ual reproach to envy, malice and un-
friendliness
Two urchins, dirty and ragged,
were lying in wait tor aims. a well
TODD looking gentleman passing at
the moment, was accosted by one OF
them. -"Please, mister, gimme
penny to buy some bread" implored
the gamin. Get out, you little
rascal, don't bother me-" was the re-
ply. Thereupon the discomhtted
urchin turned TO his companion and
observed. Billy, he must be mil.
lionaire, '-BroohlYa Eagle.
There is certain Galveston family
that does not attend church as re gu
larry as they should, but they send
the oldest boy every Sunday to keep
up appearances Last Sunday, the
head of the family sad go dress
yourself, boy; it's time Tor you to 90
to church" 81 would like to know"
responded the boy, sulkily, why I
am the only one in this family who
has got to he religiou>?" 'Because
you need it most, YOU scouDdrel-
! that's whyr' Numbered the stern
parent, feeling Tor the young martyrs
hair.-GaIUeston Ne,cS.
A very observing gentleman VINO
had lost tour wives was closely
questioned by friend about such an
alarming fatality. The reason he
gave for the prevalence of his mis-
fortunes was quaint if not entirely
true He said that he was peace
tul man, and never contradicted the
person with whom he lived. A lively
controversy, he went on to explain, is
absolutely necessary 10 womans
nature. Under it she is stimulated,
and SO long as it continues she is