The Russellville Democrat., 1881-11-10
A WEDDING FEE.


 How very dark and stormy it was on that March evening! The doors and windows kept up a perpetual rattle; violent gusts of wind, dashes of rain now and then beat against the house, as if bound to seek shelter therein.
 Little Robbie was sound asleep in his crib and the minister and his wife were spending the evening together in the cosy sitting room. The hour of retiring had come, and while Mrs Watson was bustling about, picking up and adjusting the numberless corners which nobody but 8 careful housewife can ever see or think of, there came a violent ring at the bel.
 'Mercyr' exclaimed Mrs. Watson, somebody must be dying or dead. What dreadful night for you to go out''
 Mir Watson opened the door and peered into darkness. Not a human being could he see or hear. 4 few seconds passed, when loud, grutf voice was heard, asking:
 Can you splice US tonight"
 For an instant the minister was con- fused, not being accustomed to the use of that natural term in relation to the duties of his profession. 4 second thought. however, made clear to him the possibility that splicing might be within the limits of his peculiar province; and so raising his voice above the storm, he replied:
 If you mean to ask me, sir, to marry you, shall be happy to perform the ceremony. Is the lady with you?"
 'Ha, hal that's 8 good one. Sara Ann, you mean? Don't suppose I'd come To get the knot tied without her, do ye! No, sir, she's right here in the cart.
 Mir. Watson need not to have stepped back to inform his wife Of the great event that was to take place, for she had heard all the conversation and was using the utmost enderyors to expel the laugh from her countenanee before the happy pair appeared.
 It must be confessed that the sight of the couple was not conductive to gravity. They had passed good while since the bloom of youth, and made no special effort to conceal the fact. Both had evidently come directly from their work which, indeed, the gentleman proceeded to intimate.
 Fact is. parSon, 'iis rather bad night outside, and l says to Sara; Whats the nse; let's not fix up bit, but go just as we are. The knatll hold just as well as If we had our best bib and tucker And besides. parson. we want to take the old folks by surprise. and they'd be sure to 'spect something if we'd gone to work and put on our rigglns."
 Mrs. Watson was glad of this oppor. tunity to smile. and promptly improved it. What weuld she have given for the privilege of a good, hearty laugh?
 The brief ceremony concluded, NIT and Mrs. Watson extended their con- gratulations.
 Thar" broke in the newly married man, lis the ticket; guess you'll find il OK, Now Sara; let's be goin.' Plaguey tough ride before us Good bye maam Much obliged for the job. Hope to dc as much for you sometime
 The cart rattled away, and Mrs. Watson into the hands of her husband delivered the certificate, made haste to open it thinking that, after all, it wasn't best to iudFe people by the outside. and that the strange man might have done something in the way of fee. There it was bill Yes, and upon it the magnificent figure of one dollar.
 Well, l do declare" shouted Mrs Watson, isn't this too mean for any thing? shame on that man; he don't deserve Co be married
 Nov, my dear said the minister won should not be too hard, for thiLb won had at least one dollars worth oi enjoyment out of the Occasion.'
 'Yes. sir: and I noticed somebody who seemed to keep from laughter"
 Next day little Robbys shoes were bought with the wedding fee, the min ister's clothes were brushed and cleaned hundredth time, and the good lady, by dint of extraordinary management would break out in a laugh and ask heI husband if he didn't think it was nearly time for him to splice another couple One day as the happy little family were eating their dinner, and just as the parents were feeling uncommonly proud of the smart thing little Robby hat said. there came inst such another ring ing of the bell as that heard on thC stormy night,
 Well. there, said Mrs. Watson, "ont would think for all the world the splic, man had come again"
 Before the minister could reach tho door it was opened, and astonishing t' relate. there stood the identical hero, O. the wedding occasion.
 Afternoon parson. and ma'am. hain' forgot me, haQe vc2 Member that lol vou did for me last spring? Never dit anything better in that line, bet you life. Didn't know how it would turl out Ge;tin' married is kinder risky anyhow. But yon won't find a happie pair this side Q Canaan, that's sure And So [ thought twas bout time brought along the rest oi the fee Wherell you have these things par conf"
 The minister went to the door, ani there was the cart literally loaded witt fruit and vegetables or every descrip tion. Such store was never hrougb into that house.
 e0h, don't trouble yourselves 'b0u thanking for these,' said The man