The Hickman courier. [volume] (Hickman, Ky.) 1859-current, 1881-12-09
HUMOKseferG.

IHE man who toes the mark--the old
man who reaches out for Jane AIMS tel-
Ter at two o'clock a. IA.
SWEET Evelina from the suffocating
embrace of her lover cried out g Give
me liberty or give me breath. ."--Boston
Commercial Bulletin.
OLD Deacon Dodson always boasted
that he was prepared for the worst.
and his neighbors thought he got IL
when he married his second wife.
THEY asked him if he was the best
man at the wedding. "No, he said,
.. / don't know as L was the best, but,
be jabers, was as good as any OF 'em =
CoSJURoRs astonish an audience by
taking rolls of ribbon from their mouths,
but then it is common thing to see
carpenter take hammer and nails out OF
his chest.
81 AM very glad to have met you.
sir, said Brown, politely. " Are you'
replied FOgg; here'sa note you may be
glad to meet, also" Brown wasn't so
powerfully glad to meeti it, but he had to-
STUDENT under examination in physics:
" What planets were know to the an
clients 2" '' Well, sir, there were Venus
and Jupiter, and after a pause" L
think the earth, but I'm not quite GER
tain.
"Do I look anything like you, Mr..
Jones?" inquired Caulihower. hope
not, ;" was the reply. did man take
YOU for me % . Yes Where is he =?
/ must lick him. ''Oh, he's dead.
shot him on the spot. Z"
''SEE there % exclaimed a returned
Irish soldier to gaping crowd, as he ex-
hibited with some pride his tall hat with
a-latlllatskple IN 1t. Look at that hole,
viii YOU? You- see 'th&ti If it had been
a Iow-crowned hat I should have been
killed outright"
81 SAY Gilpin, f" said Squire McGill,
''who was that sandy-haired man you
was talking with this mQrning?" "Oh,
that was Colonel Thunderpool. OF
Syracuse. He's a big gun in politics"
Yes, L judged he was a big gun IN
something; he seemed to be such
smooth bore. "-N0r0thon IN - IN
dependent.
GEoRGIE, aged four years, was playing
with his toys when his cousin Mary, OF
sweet eighteen, seized him and gave HIM
kiss. George broke away, crying out
'Sauce-boxl" "Oh, fe, said his mother,
''Georgie mustn't say that" George
-" That's what Cousin Mary said her
self to that Ellington man last night
A MERCHANT once sent his collector to
call on a debtor for some money. When
the collector returned the merchant in
duired if he had the money. Nc" re-
piled the youth " but he told me if I'd
come IN tomorrow he'd pay me. Did
he say anything else?" asked the mer-
chant. "W-a-a-l, yes" said the collec-
tor. nonchalantly: che said something
about in his minds eye, but he wasn't
speaking to me.
An OLD fellow, whose daughter had
failed to secure q position as teacher, IN
consequence of not passing an examina-
ton. said ''Ihey asked her lots of
things she didn't know. Look at the
history questionsl They asked her
about things that happened before she
was bornl How was she going to know
about them? Why, they asked her
about old George Washington and other
men she never knew That was pretty
sort of examination i''-Net0 York EUen-
ing Post.
Two men disputed about their powers
of endurance, and one said testify to the
other: 81 bet you that L can hold my
legs in boiling water longer than you
can" "Done, said the other, and the
steaming water was brought In went
the legs, No. ! with an air of defiance,
No. with an edifying serenity. No. IL
began to vince, No. called calmly tor(
the newspaper. No began TO find
intolerable. No,fs. smileld.,atff1y -
the is paper. Z heavsfs
exclaimed No. 1, exasperated by -
heat of the water and the GOODNESS of his
antagonist, ''what Is your leg made of?'
"Wood," sententiously replied the
other.