Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1881-03-10
THEMAJOR'S YALEDICTION.

The MAJOR on SQllSn1ny Gay III tue
main street of Ballykilbowdy was pleas
ant to behold He was not strictly a
handsome man perhaps, but he had
the air Of being a handsome man-an
air of so much nOnchalance and good
humored triumph that it imposed upon
most people and sent them away with
the notion that the Major was an Adonis.
He had one Of the grandest figures /
remember to have seen. Strength sat
side by side with grace on his broad
shoulders, and the carriage of his head
was in itself a sort of wonder of high
temper and vivacity. His moustaches
took a splendid downward sweep, his hat
raked little; the tips of the fingers of
his left hand entered his trousers-pOck-
ct his right hand bore cane, which
described, as it were Of its own vOlitiOn,
circles and segments of circles. He
took his way smiling, and his bright
gray eyes and faultless teeth, made his
face look as gay as sunshine. This
when [ come to look at it, reads like the
description of a handsome man; but
like the Majors air, there is certain
imposition in It, though | know not
how to lay my finger on it.
Ballykillrowdy was mainly owned by
Miss Vivian Blake, a young lady OF
charming exterior, who rode to hounds
under the escort of an ugly male second
cousin whom the Major loathed. But
such part of Ballykillrowdy as was not
owned by the beautiful Miss Blake was
owned by her ugly male second cousin,
and the popular impression was that
Miss Blake and the cousin would make
match of it, Against this popular
belief the Major chafed, SO Socrates
might have riled up against a ,decrepit
syllogism. 1t may be said of the Major
that he had an air Of prosperity, which
was greatly more deceptive than his air
of physical beauty. Had his creditors
met in conclave, they might possibly
have decided amongst themselves a
problem of some interest; how did the
Major live? He owned neither lands
nor messuages. Like his look of
beauty and his air of prosperity, his
very title was misleading to the stranger.
He had never held Il commission any
where, in anything; but q man with
such a figure ought to have been a
Major-if the rank had been created
especially that he might ornament it,
the thing had seemed most fitting and
admirable-and, in short, the title was
a popular tribute, msought by him,
conferred upon by nature, SO 1t SEEM
ed, and adopted without one dissentient
voice by the public of Ballykillrowdy,
and Endorsed by the members of the
Ulster in lordly Belfast.
Novelists and other social moralists
have often been cynical, at small cost,
with respect to the affection entertain
ed by an un-acred gentleman for awell-
acred lady. But, as Boccaccio and Mr..
TernysOn will tell you, real attach
ment is not altogether impossible under
such conditions. The major was madly
in love-not with Miss Blake's landed
possessions, but with Miss Blake. Time
had made his first inroads on the poor
gentleman's close-clustering hair. He
was but twO-and-thirty, but some men
age early, and | have never heard that
Il partial or even q complete badness
gives safety against the assaults of the
grand passion. The ugly second cousin
his own poverty, the rapidly-increasing
width of his central parting. and Nlvl
ans beauty and Vivian's kindness, com
bined together to fret the majors heart
Yet the Irish elasticity of his tempera-
ment constantly pulled him out of the
depths of his dependency, though it as
constantly suffered him to fall again
Spiritually, he resembled an infant
seated in that American invention, the
''baby-jumper," and he went up anC
down en- the most significant prOvoca
ton.
In perfect seriousness, but with al
Irish sense Of rhyme, he wrote ballads
on his own condition and to his miss
tress's eyebrow. Permit that the muse
of history conserve Il verse. The title
of this story should, perhaps, have beer
Zone Of the Majors Valedictions," or
''The Majors Last Valediction," for du
ring the years of his passion he was al
ways bidding farewell, in terms more o.
less affecting, to the adorable Vivian
"And as for me-" wrote the major, aftel
wishing Vivian al happiness, even viii
I the ugly second cousin:
4 And as for me there's Fiji and Tihti.
+ And lots OF other places fit to die in;
And when I'm dead your smallest sigh of pity
WEI reach and thrill me even where I'm lying.
1t was an honest passion. The poo
fellow was fairly hooked All manner
of ambitions began to bestir themselves
for there was more in him, or at leas
he thought so, than the helpless power
to dream of good luck over a bottle o
the club Pommard, or Il glass of no
Irish, as the state of the funds Nigh
. ord Dc,.l,o,NC tl,n titin ,for,sn1 1110
on him was not without its influence
upon his dreams.
'Td hang me harp on a willow-tre,
an off to the wars again, . said the ma
jOr; but haven't harp, or the fund
to buy one; and there's no willow-tre,
! handy, and no wars convenient, thu
-. Lord be good to mel"
Whether Phil. Durgan, the ugly sec
ond cousin, had or had not in his owl
person exhausted the family stock O
physical unhappiness, 1 cannot tell
but | know for Il fact that his siste
was as pretty as Vivian herself If
knew of anything prettier l would com
pare her to it, but l do not; and il
these declining days l am not ikel.
to find it. Whose is the hand that b,
the aid of movable types describe
pretty girl? Mine has no cunning. /
| say that each Of these young ladie
was ravishing, nineteen and Irish,
have done my best. Like RosalinC
and Celia, they learned, played ant
ate together and wheresoe'er they went
like Juno's swans, still they went cou
pied and inseparable. 1t followed tina
if Phil. Durgan had known as much a