Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1881-05-25
sTBMrTTED 70 ARBITRA.
TON.
A Meritorioas Western Fashion
of Settling Breach Of Promise

4 AnOkSs
A Meritorious Western Fashion
of Settling Breach Of Promise
Suits.
Detroit Free Press
One day last week Q Detroit produce
buyer had occasion 70 remain over nisn'
with a farmer in Western Michigan
While eating supper he was asked u ne
Knew much about law; whether he had
ever served on Jury; il he called him
self a competent man 10 arbitrate IN an
affair between neighbors, and 1t be was
posted on the Law regarding breach oil
promise cases. He answered these
Questions as best he could, and sppar'
emily 10 the satisfaction OF the farmer,
for as soon as the meal was finished the
un-browned agriculturist conhdentiaiiy
began:
81 think you are pretty square man.
and may want you to help me out oil
little diffienlty. Ill be back in about
half an hour"
He put on his hat and went down the
road, and at the time agreed upon he re-
turned ia company with yoang farmer
abont twenty-five years old, whom he
called Josephus. The only peculiar
things about Josephus were his iixen
hair, long legs, white eyebrows and
breadth OF feet, but he was no mud.
sill. As soon as he was introduced he
opened the case as follows:
There hain't no use IN any beating
around 'he bush. The fact is, when /
first come here / fell in love with Uncle
Sile's Mary. She reciprocated, and We
agreed 10 have each other. That's cor
rect. isn't it, Uncle Sile"
81 guess that's about the way OF it"
he replied.
avail, to make q long story short,
last Jinuary gin Mary the cold shake
fur a gal over in the Bebee Settlement.
Mary is good gal, but she hain't even
second fiddle on style or good looks, and
Uncle Sile knows that as well as do.
Now, then, they've been talking about
a breach OF promise suit on me, and i
won't deny they've got case. I've
been willing all along to settle damages
on a fair basis, but We couldn't just
agree on what was fair. Uncle Sile
comes over as says Won are here, and
he offers to leave il out to you II i will,
and so il you will act on the case we'll
come to some agreement"
"where is MaryH" asked the Detroit
er.
"Down in Martin county, Ind }" an
swered the father.
And she writes home," added Jo-
sephus. "that she had nine offers OF
marriage in two weeks. Them boosters
is Just swarming for her. Them nine
offers wants to be considered in assess
ing damages.'
allow old is she?"
"She's only twenty-one, and that's an
other thing to be considered, TMnt
like as il she was forty, and might have
to 90 of to China as q missionary"
"And how much property are you
WORTH"
well, I've forty acres Of scrub land,
an old COW, and mule, and l reckon
the traps around the place might bring
$40 at auction. That's honest lnjun,
and Uncle SHE knows il"
"Yes, that's about the way he's fix
ed" said the farmer.
"And another thing you want to con-
SlQeT - lflc ldCl tlldt dAh PuitS' -
Was purity the gal might claim high
damages, but Pun about as internal
homely as Digger Injun. Add to this
the fact that Pm an intidel, and that i
can't sing, nor fiddle, nor dance, and am
too lazy TO enjoy a billed dinner, and
what has the gal lost by not marrying
me?"
"And you are both willing to leave il
TO me?"
al reckon" they answered together.
"Well, all things considered" said
the Detroiter after due reflection, my
verdict is that Josephus drive the old
COW over here in full for all damages.
What do you say, young man.
"The COW is worth Sl4, but I'll do 1t
rather than have any hard feelings "
Chow Is il with you, Uncle Sile?
"Waal, guess that's about fair. |
had been sticking out for Sl5 in cash,
but times are purity clus, and want to
give Joe fair snow. Con git the crit
tur, Josephus, and we'll have the papers
made out, treat the stranger to hard
cider, and 20 to bed ieelin' that We are
as good friends as before you gin Mary
the shake"