The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1881-06-17
Chr GmteuiQslter
AuamrrTEp no ARBITRATION.

A heE.IOEIOus Western Fashion Of Set
IIIug Breach OF Promise Suits.
Detroit Free PrsR.
One day last week q Detroit produce
buyer had occasion to remain vsr night
with a farmer in Weatern Michigan.
While eating supper he was asked If he
knew much about law; whether he had
ever served on q jury; II he called himself
a competent man to arbitrats in an affair
betw cen nelghbors, and il he wa posted
on the Law regarding breach Of promise
cases. He answered these questions %
best he could, and apparently to the sat
isfRction OF the farmer, for as soon "a the
meal was finished the suu-hroWned agri.
cultul let conddentially began:
Il think you are . pretty square man,
and l may want you TO help me out oil 2
little difficulty. I'll be back in about hall
an hour"
He put on his hat and went down the
road, and at the time agreed upon he re-
turned in company with youngtArmeF
about twenty-five years old, whom he
called Josephus. Tbs only peculiar
things about J%osephus were his hA1e1
hair, long Ieg9, white eyebrows and
breadth Of Ieet, but be was NO mud'slIL
Az soon as he was introduced he opened
the case 90 follows:
There hSin't no use in any beating
around The bush. The fact is when | first
came here | fell in love with Uncle sile's
Mary. She reCiprocated, and we agreed
to have each other. That's correct, isn't
it, UaCls Sile?' .,l
II guess that's about the way Of it,"
he replied.
"Wall, to make q long story short, last
Iinuary | gin Mary the cold shake fur Q
gal over in the Bsbee Settlement, Mary
il a good gal, hat she hain't even second
iddiu on styls or good looks, and Uncle
Slle knows that rs well as | do. Now,
then, they've been talking about a breach
OF promise cult on MT, and l won't deny
they've got q case. I've been willing all
Alongt0 settle damages on q fair basis, but
we couldn't just agree on what was fair.
Uncle Sile comes over and says you are
here, and be Offers TO leave It out 10 you
ii | will, and go il you will act on the case
we'll come to some agreement"
"WhsTe Ia Mary? ~ asked the DstroiteL
"Down in Martin county, Ind" answer
ed the father.
"And she wGiteshome, added Josephus,
"that che had nine oilers OF marriage in
two weeks, Them hOJsieTs is Just swarm.
ipg for her. Them nine offers wants to be
considered In assessing damages"
"How old is shs?'
"She's only twenty. one. and that's
another thing to be considered. 'TAint
Itkn ne a. aha Tvaa fnPNU and miohk hava m |
of to China as a missionary"
"And how much properly are you
WORTH
swell, I've forty acres of scrub land, an
old COW, and q mule, and l reckon the
traps about the place might bring $40 at
auction. Thsts honest Injun, and Uncle
Sils knows it,"
Eyes, that's about the way he's fxed,"
said the farmer.
"And another thing you want to CON
slider is the fact that l amt purity. II
was purity the gal might claim high dam
ages, but I'm about as internal homely a.
a Digger Injnn. Add to this the fact that
I'm an iuidel, and that l can't sing, nor
dddle, nor dance, and am too lSzyt 10 enjoy
a billed dinner, and what has the gal lost
by not marrying met"
"And you are both willing to leave 1t TO
meW
II reckon" they answered together.
"Well, all things considered" said the
Dstroiter after due reflection, my var.
dict Ia that Josephus drive the COW over
here in full for all damages. What do
you say, young mani" IL
1.-THE COW is worth $14, but I'll do 1t
rather than have any bard feelings"
3 chow Is 1t with you, Uncle Sile?"
"Waal, l guess that's about fair. have
been sticking out for SIS 10 cash, but times
are purity Clns, and I want to give Joe 9
fair show. Con git the crittur, JosephuS,
and we'll have the papers made out, treat
the stranger to hard cider, and go to bed
tselin' that we are as good friends as be-
fore you gin Mary the shake"