The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1881-07-07
HUMOR.


A Chicago woman calls her husband
darkest Hour" because he comes just
before the dawn.
The difference between duck and a
girl is that one is dressed to kill and
the other is killed to dress. is
Sitting Bulls daughter is named
Sleeping Water. We know woman
who might be called ''Snoring-ha-ha."
Why does the new moon remind one
of giddy girlp Because she is too
young to show much reflection.
Cordially: Lets shake! as the
Jersey ague said to the earthquake.
Ne,o York Ne,os. % '.''.
Color blind: The woman who can't
tell when her husband has the "blues."
-McGregor Ne,os.
"This is marked feature of the oc-
casion," said q man who had his nose
f1attened at picnic.
The newest way to ask man to treat
you to beer is to whisper: {. Man can
not live by bread alone"
Hen-pecked husbands never catch the
smallpox. Life with them is one steady
When q woman takes an affectionate
farewell of an acquaintance whom she
dislikes she makes much adieu about
nothing.
The giraffe has never been known to
utter a sound. In this respect it re-
scmbles a young lady in a street-car
when gentleman gives her his seat.
"Well, youth own she's got pretty
foot, won't you?" "Yes," FL grant
you that, but then it never made half
as much impression on me as the old
| man's.r 7a-
Modern Argo: A Cairo girl whose
lover is named Peleg blushingly adj
| ty is of several years. duration and has
baffled the skill of the best physicians.
| The latest conundrum, and we don't
know who is responsible for it, is:
(Which is the hardest: to kiss girl
| ing to you?" There is no answer to it.
Scene at the college.-Prep. Ito SER
want at the door,: '.Miss-a'' Servant
'She's engaged" Prep: II know it;
TIM what she's engaged to."-CoItegt
! Journal n IiiT 10 5liiu i's:'.
The Norristown Herald says: ''Prices
this year at watering-place hotels are
higher than last season. 1t is owing to
| Iuc PEiCO Va GSSS iooo "AASOhS oAS
the disturbances in ireland. = A''4.
A very sweet agony for a young lady
| is to decorate a miniature broadsword
friend. This does not signify direct
cut. 1t is the old story. mo knife
can cut our love in twain" How quite.
How awfully quite quite. > z.3 .
Fiji fashions: The spring opening in
to Ovprfs In 4 I,1
fashions there. Sharks teeth necklaces
are cut more decollete; the mole on the
back Is painted red, and the greel
string is worn around the left ankle in
stead of the right. US formerly.
Two Philadelphisns were discussing
the announcement of Anna Dickinson's
them remarked: II wonder whateve,
induced her to try the character oi
Claude Melnotte?n. And the other re.
piled: .'Well, you see, Anna Dickinson
Is a very peculiar woman, and the
Lady of Lyons is very affectionate
play. There was no choice for her be.
tween tho roles of Claude MelnOtte and
Pauline, because she's always been
afraid, since she was old enough tO
| wear long skirts, that if q man ever got
his arm around her it would tickle hel
to DEATH" s.--. -lsi ~ s.e.t..zsl..
"Why is it that two souls, mated in
the impenetrable mystery of their ma
tivity. float by each other on the ocean
currents of existence without being in
stinctively drawn together, blended and
beautified in the assimilative alembie
of eternal love-" sighed the fair Boston.
ian. gazing through the window at the
star-studded belt of Orion; after which
she plunged her arms elbow deep into
the foaming wash-tub, and wondered
what Ralph Waldo Emerson would
think of her if he could see her now.