Daily Republican., 1881-06-16

1t was their first night aboard th
steamer. AT last" he said tenderly
I'VE are all alone, out upon the dee
waters of the dark blue sea, and you
heart will always beat for me as it ha
beat in the past" "My heart S all right,
she answered languidly, "but my stom
ach feels awful"
Moriarity, who had been assaulted b,
Schmidt, appeared against him in
San Francisco police court. "Did h,
have prOvoCation TO strike you?" tn,
Justice asked. Gle may have haC
something Of the kind consayled abou
him, but it was brick he struck mt
wid," replied Moriarity.
"You are better n 'em," said woman
dressed in black, addressing her pet
which she was leading from the judges
ring in the New-York dog-show. 'ii
those ugly men dojudge to the contrary
Come along, pet. you are my own little
dear all the same"
There is story of Solomon not con.
tanned in the Book of Kings. Two OF
his court damsels had row rs to pre-.
cedence. Solomon looked kindly at
them and said: "Let the Oldest go first, "
when the damsels embraced, and went
in together with entwined arms.
Host-"Allsw me to get you a part
ner." Languid swell-"Thank you,
but l--ar-don't dance" Host-''Then
let me Introduce you to Miss Twaddle
she's great hand at conversation. -
Languid swell-"You're very kind, but
l-ar-never CONVERSE"
A furniture dealer seized upon a wo-
mans baby for debt Of S3, but after
keeping it two days he was glad to give
his debtor S. torelieve him OF his charge
A. baby who cant make life miserable
for two or three persons will die very
young.
eyes" said the tramp, "they talk,
about the charitable institutions of Bos.
ton. Now, a man can go down to the
Hawkins street Home and get supper
and lodging, and he's got to saw a foot
Of wood to pay for it. By snakes. sir, |
don't call that charity"
The young lady who writes her love
letters on paper saturated with kero-
Sene, so that she will knew if her fellow
ever tries to light his cigar with it, may
be wise in her generation, but she is
mean.
Her name was Eva, and when Charles
Agustus called the other evening and
asked her to he his darling wiley, she
gently thurst him from her and sweetly
said, "Not this Eva. Some other Eva.
Good Eva.
The Chicago fireman who poisoned
some cold meat Elk" a dog, and then
ate it with his lunch has got new i'm
proved memory since the doctors pum-
ped him out.
The principal of young ladies semin
ary in Syracuse has so exhaustingly in
tlicted her pupils with ''depOrtment"
that, when left alone, her girls of six
teen tct like sixty.
"Adolphus :" Yes, buff is n color be-
tween light pink and a yellow. In
''blind mans buff there is little more
Of the yell, oh !!
When q policeman has been three
days without clubbing anybody it is
hard work for him to tell the difference
between sick man and drunken one.
Some lnen are 50 mprovidcnt that if
thousand dollar notes we're selling for a |
,ent apiece, they couldn't lift "A mort
gage on two cent postage stamp.
Nellie wants to know what are
sweepstakes. They are broom handles.
Nellie. Haven't you got any mother?
This is the whole thing in nutshell,
Is the squirrel said when he extracted
he kernel.
"Fancy dress bawl," said the mother
Is she was arranging her sQuailing in
ant in its finest robes.
A new broom may sweep clean, but
t is not of much use unless it sweeps
lirt.
The letter sc" is like many men. 1t
$ first in everything, but ends in
mOke.
Cribbage is the game most indul ged
IL by young children.
Michigan has produced pig with a
runk. This thing should be checked.