Connecticut western news., 1881-06-08
"DOxie's'' RHan nlnnock.

ED. NEWS :-Of course your readers are all more or less acquainted with the hammock, and its comforts and convenience, as well as
 it's diabolical stubbornness and treacherous unreliab,lity. My first experience with the article dates back only short time. l went to make & call on young lady, on Sunday afternoon, and as the weather was quite warn, she invited me into the shady yard, and badt me take seat in the hammock which was suspended between two trees about 20 feel apart. I had never attempted to f4de one O. the things, and was little suspicious of its good faith, as it hung there lazily, all flop ped together like sheet going through Il wringer, but as didn't like to appear awk. ward, and expose my ignorance before doxie, l approached 1t, with some trtpldation, ant att empted to sit down on one edge of 1t, |, kinder steady it while could unravel the ful
 breadth to make more room. Just the instan 1 put my weight aSa SalDst 1t, 1t got out of tn, way and gave me all the room I wanted-ol. the ground. As l got up l noticed half sup. pressed smile on doxies face that made me feel4ike fool, but she encouraged me to try again, with the cheerful assurance that for tht first attempt, mine was a decided success com pared with the maiden effort of the last fellow that tried 1t, who bro <e nlS funny-boue anU drove his scarf pin half way through his chin. With this encouragement l tried 1t again This time, protting by my first experience appr0a -.:@:. ... v5;Sri!v- determined to get tl, f, strengthen 1t out, and after twisting and uu s"is!lAa; rAYeIipg and unraveing, I foun, that instGau of having hol of the edge 1 Wal holding tic middle of It 1 finally got strengthened out and found iJ as wide as a horse blanket, and then 1 wondered how tn, fooiishest kind Of fool could be awkward enough to fall out of it. Well after I got l, untwisted. the next thing was to mount it.
 couldn't very well hold it apart with botl hands, and get aboard at the same time, and was too tull of determination, to ask doxlc [, mold one side ot it for me, as she sat there oh a camp stool, watching my maneuvers intent Iv; SO 1 made calculations to get all in zeal then let go of one side ana jump on quicklN before it could collapse, l tired 1t. It wash what could properly be called d success. In, instant let go 1 gave backward jump ont, the hammock, but the Pesky thing was to quict for me, and gathering itself into rope It caught me by the legs and dragged me ul my back, feet first, a distance of about a TO. over the grass. 1 had to turn backward somcrsault to get loose from It. When 1 st up my cOat-tails were tucked up under m collar, the suspender buttons were torn offfrol the back of my pants, and my vest, coat, pants and even the back Of my head, were glas. stained SD that reae,1 hed d we'd ther beatef wIndow blind. Doxie uttered just as if there was something funny about 1t, and felt mao. 1 could have sworn in italics, but didn't. ; simply said something in an undertoue abour darging the hs!udammock, which she didnh l
 
 tnel out. and my suspenders pinned down, | doXie assured mo that my second attempt | was ever SO much better than ths first, (tht | liJtlo liar D and now she would show me how | o manage it. So she picked up the network, | s ;raigh htened it out deftly. and with graeefu movement and agile spring, was in the ham, mock full length, without even 8 f1utter of the l skirt, swinging leisurely to and fro, with | that seemed to say, fits just as | -a-s-y as nothing" After swinging a mo. l SI IG m tn t1N az in, and of course, ike a fool, l had to dt | 1t, although wasu' at all interested in harr- | mCcks, and wished that the man who inv ented | them could 6 compelled to eat them, hooks | and all. However 1 resolved to make one | more attempt; so approached with both fists l entirely on the defensive; my | guard-arm thrown up, a la pugiist, to ward of | any sudden attack, and when l got within | reach of that blasted hammock l grabbed 1t | and shook it furiOusly so as to have It under stood that was going to lave noy way thit time ; then aighteued it out as 1 had jus seer doxie do, and with a fervent prayer foI success initiated her side-long spring and sue ;eeded just a Jeetle too much. landed square V in the hammock, but tbe force of my s, ring vas trifie more enpha tlc than necessary. and he nnprincipled concern keeled over, wl'u n fuss at all but just as stupidly and uncer ly as diving turtle, and deposited nv dabolical' syst m, face downwar' un tie | ground. It must have been ludlcrous sptt- acle, or doxie wouldn't have laughed so l,esrt- ly, but couldn't appreciate the jok~, all ,ent on revenge, scrambled to nN feet a. vent tn kicking the c"nl"umdyd hanm ck Ii he ribs, but at the very first kick, it srabbc' ny foot, ripped me up, slap ed me in tie ace. and tn l. went to swinging back ald orth over my prostr#re form every time red to rise it wnuld box my cars, but doX'' nallv came to the rescue al call, il off so ouli get up and swear al n.ys If
 l have since been to % 2ii,E sc..uo!, a Eym- Iasinm, wuik, q cu q '-l'tiL,. observed tl, | lrthodS of llon tHn'rtS HUH. N,stt,d the |. x. enat ''' Xt GU iy,- .' ~Sl Y. and Cau now de thr nIosu ,iciOus all noel th, WIS ever trung ur. IA RE,