The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1881-11-15
The Denver Tribune S Primer.
lscnr fi-ld IN thc Denver Tribune.

The Denver Tribune Primer.
Eugene Fitld in the Denver Tribune
Here We Have democratic Ma,
Meeting. How many People can voa
see; Three? Ye.. that is right.
Why do you Smile? You are Smii-
ing because YOU think three people
should not BE- called Mass Meeting.
Alas, dear Children. YOU Do not
Know WHIST IT Is to- BE Democrat.
and If you are good YOU never will.
This Is Il Hired Girl. She ha.
Something IN her fiand 1t i Il Can.
and there Is Gal Oil inside. TIL.
Hired Hiri Is going 10 Light II Fire
IN the Kitchen Stove. She has been
Disappointed III Love and Desires 10
Die, The will Pat some Of the Oh ia
the Stove and light j; with Match.
In about half Minute she viii 10
managing Gold Harp among the
Elect in !iea-cn.
What !, this Nasty looking OBJECT,
Il i chew OF Tobacco. Oh. hon
naughty it is To Use the Filthy Weed
Ii Ma kes the teeth black AMI Spoils
the parlor Carpet, Go quick art
inrrw the horrid S;Hff away. Pat it
IN the lee cream Freezer or in the Coli Q
pot, wncre Nehodv can See 1t Lit!'.
glri>, YOU Should never chew Tobacco.
VIVA; Smells 80? Has sonebod.
been Burning rar, or is there =
Dead Mpie IN the Back ward? Ne,
The Man Is smoking Il Five Cen, CT
ar. The Cigar has Breath on him
like the Chimes Of Normandy or =
>aiiy.trd Cheese Factory. 1t is strong
enough 10 raise Il mortgage or Lick .
postage stamp. The man will chew
Piece OF A>snt;e.ida by and by to
Take the Taste of the Cigar out OF h.
Mouth.
1t Is Piece of Triple. When it b.,
been Fried the man will Eat it.
Then ne will Go to Bed and Dream
of his Mother-in-l.aw and other Awful
Things. Tripe is Nice to Eat just Be-
fore YOU want 10 Die
Why is this little Girl CRYING? Be-
cause her Mamma will not let her put
Molas.es and Feathers on the Baby's
face. What bad Mamma! The little
Girl who never had any Mamma
must enjoy herself. Papas are nicer
than Mammals. No little GIrl ever
Marries a Mamma, and perhaps that
Is Why Aammas are SO bad to little
girls Never mind; when Mamma
goes out of the Room Slap the horrid
Daby, and il it Cries YOU can tell your
Mamma it has the Coiic.
See the Wind Mill. 1t is a Pretty
Sight. 1t has sails that GO Round
and Round and Makes Noise like
the Whirring of birds wings.
The Wind Mill Looks Sad. 1t has
had hard Luck. 1t used to be q
Democratic politician and Furnish
Enthusiasm for Arapahoe county
campaigns. But Wind will not run
Il Campaign, and so the Wind mill
Lost its Job. And now it Stands out
Oil Bleak Prairie and Hauls water
out OF the Cold. hard Earth for living
Any Kind of Honest Labor is awful
rough ON Democrat, but Having any
thing to Do with Water breaks him
All Up.
Here We have Knife. 1t looks
like Saw but it is Knife. 1t be-
longs to an Editor, and is used for
Sharpening Pencils. killing Reaches.
opening Champagne Bottles and Cut
ting the Hearts out of Bad men whs
Come into the office to Whale the Re
porters. There is Blood OF the Blade
of the Knife, but the Editor will
Calmly Lick it Oft and then the Blade
will be as Clean and Bright as Ever.
fine Knife cost seventy Cents, and
was Imported from London, Connect
cut. If you are Good perhaps that
Eiiior viii Give it TO YOU To Cut Oh
the Cats Tail
What IL Nice Bird this is IL is 3
Parrot. See il Stand on its Perch
with its Beak while its Legs kind of
Lay around Loose III the Air. viii
tine Parrot swear? just pull his
tail AMI See Oh, what Prof;,ue Bird!
The Lady should not Teach her Parrot
too swear, because when the Preache.
comes he will Feel Bad about it.
Would you Like lite Wax Finserf
Then put your Hand in the Parrots
outh and let him Fondle it Awhile.
The Doctor will see YOU Later.
These are Mammals Scissors. They
do not Seem to be in good Health.
Well, they are little aged. They
have considerable Work to DO.
Mamma uses them to Chop kindling.
cut Stove Pipe. pull lacks, drive
Nai,s, cut the childrens hair, punch