Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1881-06-22
TO TRY MEMS SOULS.

A grass widow is anything but green.
AS general thing young lawyers don't
have many trying times Boston Post.
Ho who filings his pills away will live to
die another day Andrews American
| Queen.
OF all free institutions, the free lunch is
the dearest to the communists. New Or
leans Picayune.
"Well l should ruminate," remarked
Junior Alley, as he registered, and the
clerk said he might room In S.
Speaking of oyster-cism OF northern
men by the solid South, how about one
Frye n. Y. Commercial Advertiser.
Never judge man by the silk hat he
wears. He may have just LEFT an old
SLOUGH in its place. Baltimore Every
Saturday.
A young man has generally got the win
ming cards in his hand when, on popping
the question, he sees flush in his
sweet-heart's face.
When David Davis dies the fences of the
United States will wear the usual badge of
mourning for six weeks.-[New York Com
mercial Advertiser.
Miss Pauline Markham is anxious to
have chance in legitimate comedy. May
be Pauline is getting so she can't stand
cold. ~ Boston Post.
A true philosopher never argues. He
mentally concludes that his opponent is an
ass, aud keeps his mouth shut--[N. Y.
Commercial Advertiser.
No man knoweth what an April may
bring forth Detroit Free Press. But
every man knoweth that July Will bring
Fourth. Il Steubenville Herald.
Tie man who goes fishing for eels at this
call LEO pounds a ton, because he's
cold ecler. Pretty disgusting pun thst.
A Connecticut man has invented pipe
that will light itself. This is an under.
handed attempt to force house painters to
find some new way to kill time. Boston
Post.
Burdette, of the Burlington Hdrkeye,
says Wabash college, Indiana, is his alma
mater, though he never was there, and he
adds, 90 am the ,Vabashfullest kind of
Wabashi- Bazouk.
A lawn tennis convention has been held
in New York The devotees OF the wild
and exciting game of hopscotch have not
yet named day for their convention.
INorristown Herald.
What was it! l went out in the woods
and got it, After l got it looked for it,
The more looked for it the less | liked it.
| brought it home in my hand because |
couldn't find it. A silver.
At party a maiden named Leake
Gave wild and hysterical shrek,
When splash Of clam chowder
From her face washed the powder
And showed the bi. mole on her cheek
Reading Times
It's all in being cute. A Detroit woman
buys bonnet and IS worth of extra trim.
ming, and every Saturday she changes and
rearranges the latter and brings out wha.
everybody thinks is a new bonnet.-[De.
troit Free Press.
An elderly resident of Newtown was ap-
preached by an agent for a cyclopedia.
81 guess won't get one, said the elderly
resident and frankly added 81 know 1
never could learn to ride one of the pesky
things. II Danbury News.
4 gentleman recently provoked one.
armed organ grinder by asking him if he
was a survivor OF the late war. "Why,
you fool I" exclaimed the irate musician,
"don't you see that | survived Do act
as though | was killed in the war ?"
To yassar there went from ST. Louis
A dazzlngly beautiful Jewess
French, Latin and Greek
She learned net to speak.
Bat she made an accomplished gam chewess.
| Modern Argo.