The Osceola times., 1881-11-26
A WEDDING FEE.

How very dark and stormy it was on
that March evening" The doors and
windows kept up a perpetual rattle;
now and then beat against the house, as
if bound to seek shelter therein.
Little Robbie was sound asleep in his
crib and the minister and his wife were
spending the evening together in the
cosy sitting room. The hour of retiring
had come, and while Mrs. Watson was
bustling about, picking up and adjusting
the numberless corners which nobody
but careful housewife can ever see or
think of, there came violent ring at the
bel.
"Mercyw exclaimed Mrs. Watson,
somebody must be dying or dead. What
a dreadful night for you to go outw
Mr.. Watson opened the door and
peered into darkness. Not a human
being could he see or hear. A few
seconds passed, when a loud, gruf voice
was heard, asking:
"Can you splice us tonight"
For an instant the minister was con-
fused not being accustomed TO the use
of that natural term in relation TO the
duties OF his profession. A second
thought, however, made clear to him the
possibility that splicing might be within
the limits of his peculiar province; and
so raising his voice above the storm, he
replied
YOU, ! shall be happy to perform the
ceremony. Is the lady with your
"Ha, hal that's good onel Sara Ann,
YOU mean2 Don't suppose I'd come TO
get the knot tied without her, do yel
No, sir, she's right here in the cart"
Mr.. Watson need not to have stepped
back to inform his wife Of the great
event that was TO take place, for she had
heard all the conversation and was using
the utmost endervors to expel the laugh
from her countenance before the happy
rair appeared.
II must be confessed that the sight of
the couple was not conductive TO gravity.
Tney had passed good while since the
bloom of youth, and made no special
effort to conceal the fact. Both had
evidently come directly from their work
which, indeed the gentleman proceeded
TO intimate.
"Fact is, parson, It's rather bad night
outside, and says to Sara: What's the
use; let's not fix up bit, but 60 Just as
we are. The knot'll hold inst as well as
if we had our best bib and tucker And
besides, parson, we want to take the old
folks by surprise, and they'd be sure to
'spect something If we'd gone to work
and put on our rigun's."
Mrs Watson was glad of this oppor-
tunity 20 smile, and promptly improved
it. What would she have given for the
privilege Of a good, hearty laugh?
The brief ceremony concluded, Mr..
and Mrs. Watson extended their con
gratulations.
0Thar." broke in the newly married
man, sis the ticket; guess you'll find 1t
O. X. Now Sara; let's be goin.' Plaguey
tough ride before us. Good bye ma'am.
Much obliged for The job. Hope to do
as much for you sometime"
The cart ratified away, and Mrs. Watson
into the hands Of her husband delivered
the certificate, made haste to open 1T,
thinking that, after all, it wasn't best to
indee people by the outside, and that the
strange man might have done something
in the way of a fee. There it was a bill!
Yes, and upon il the magnificent figure
of one dollar.
"Well, | do declare" shouted Mrs.
Watson. isn't this too mean for any
thing? shame on that man; he don't
deserve TO be married"
"Now, my DEAR said the minister,
"vou should not be too hard, for ! thin k
vyou had at least one dollars worth of
endowment out of the OCCASION
aYes sir; and | noticed somebody
who seemed to keep from laughter"
Next day little Robby's shoes were
houoht with the wedding fee, the min
isters clothes were brushed and cleaned
bundredth time, and the good lady, by
dint of extraordinary management
would break out in a laugh and ask her
husband if he didn't think it was nearly
time for him to splice another couple.
One day as the happy little family were
eating their dinner, and just as the
narents were feeling uncommonly proud
of the smart thing little Robby had
said there came Just such another ring
inc Of the bell as that heard on the
stormy night W., H..
@Weu. there" said Mrs. Watson, one
would think for all the world the splce
man had come again"
Before the minister could reach 'he
door IL was opened, and astonishing 70
relate. there stood the identical hero OF
the wedding occasion. ,,.;a,,
@Aflernoon, psrsnn, and ma'am nam
forgot me. haqe ye? Member that l9g
yon did for me last spring? Never dlo
anything better in that line, bet youl
Gee Didn't know how It would tqrt
nr, ,;ettin' married is kinder RISKY
anyhow. But you won't ind happle
mir this side o. Canaan, that's sure
And I SO | thought twas bout time &c,
brought along the rest OF @ the Zee ie,
Wherein You have these things pal
son1" d., .ho door an
The minister went to the u2oI' ~, sn
there was the cart Literally loaoeL 49,, wi,
emit and vegetables of every descrl
,ioo' ,;on IS snch store was never brong'
''''S ''ob. don't trouble yourselves 10, '.
thsnkins fsr these" said tbs ms