The Dillon tribune. [volume] (Dillon, Mont.) 1881-1941, 1881-08-20
e.. Ehe Side.

Old maids are described as 'e,nbers from
which sparks have fed"
The fellow who was much struck by a
young lady wanted to return kiss for the
blow.
A minister walked six miles to marry a
couple lately. lie said he felt sort Of fee.
bill like. tt-
Marriage, says Blackstone, is civil con.
tract Very civil before tnarriage-but
afterward:
No one believes that he can mystify his
mind; but every one imagines that he can
gull his conscience.
How is it possible to expect that man.
kind will take advice when they will not so
much as take warning.
"Taken prisoner and handcuffed," said
tin bad boy when he was apprehended
and had his ears boxed.
Women generally are in favor Of cor.
poral punishment. They never go any
where without their switch.
Corn is the worst used Of all the cereals.
No matter how fruitful it is, it !, onty
grown to get its ears pulled.
"One good turn deserves another" as
the man said when he turned the organ
grinder out Of the front yard.
allow does painting agree with my
daughter" asked an anxious parent. ut
.~.oL., In. ~, ~oj l., <Lo Fo~x, s,c1s<A %h.a
teacher
A Canada man sued country editor for
libel and got twenty five cents damages,
and then the editor went off and made an
assignment.
It must have been maiden lady who
never had an offer Of marriage who de.
clared that 'where singleness is bliss, It's
folly to be wives"
Beneath this quiet turfy
And dower-scented green
Lies Arabella Murphy,
AS usual-kerOsene,
"IIow shall have my bonnet trimmed"
asked Maria, $50 that It will agree with my
complexion!" "If you want It to match
your face, have it plain" replied the hate
full Hattie.
The fences Of the United States have
cost $:,ooo,ooo,ooo What colored indi-
vidual remarked some years ago that this
country would give millions for de.
fence?
They had been at a masquerade, where
she had recognized him at once, "Was it
the loud beating OF my heart, my darling,
that told you was near?" murmured he.
"Ot, no, no." she replied, ~ recognized
your crooked legs"
A deacon called at the quarters Of a
young man who was training for prize
fight, and seeing him dining on plain
chop with unbuttered bread, asked, "wly
does he live so poorlv'' "Oh," said the
trainer, "hc Is a very close-i>ted man."
The ta,lcst trees in the world are in Aus
tra'ia. \ fallen tree in Gippsland meas
ured 435 feet from the root to the highes
point of the branches. Another standing
il the Duncnony district, in Victoria, i:
estimated to be over $50 feet from tht
ground To the top.
y young lady who had been married ;
:, >t,ort time, lately told a blossom friend
tlat there was only one thing more
astonishing than the re ,eliness with which
Ned gave up smoking, and that was thu
rupi,iitv with which he took to it agar
49,. they were married.
\ Maine woman has made 4 contrac
w.lh Boston firm to supply fifteen thous
and dozen pairs OF ,nittens. One "mitten'
,ionu woman has been known to wrecl
the happiness OF young man, but tn
Boston firm may be old and tough, an'
have 90, over such tooli>hress.
\ certain amount Of opposition is
great help t, man. Kites rise agains
all not with the wind. Even a head vim
is better than none. No man ever WORKED
his passage in dead calm. Let no man b
discouraged because OF opposition, but lc
him utilize it to his own advantage.
Alyiers possesses river OF vciit:lbc I'M
Two streams, one starting from rcgio
where the soil is f.rruyinous. the othe
from peat swamp, meet and form tn
river, whose inkv constituency is due t
the mixing OF the iron and the ga!lic &C:
which the two tributary streams resrec,
lively contain.
Monday afternoon Il tramp came Il
the Hudson road and stopped at the small
pox tents with puzzlro look on his fac
and after circling around three or 10,
times he finally asked one OF the nurses
Don't call this a first class circus, do YOU
Not exactly; We call this smal-ro
show Then l won't wait for the per
formance.' muttered the tramp, and he !
out like man walking for money.
The IIawkeye tells about B.,rling'o
man who went into 4 drug store and askt
the clerk, can YOU give me something th
will drive from my mind the thoughts
sorrow and bitter rccollcction>: And {!
Druggist nodded and put him up lit
dose Of quininc and norwood All