Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1881-01-07
Editorial Dots.

The political orator has gone into
winter quarters.
a piece Of bark in a sausage sug-
gested to Philadelphia to inquire for
the rest Of the dog.
Coal is SO black that tho New Orleans
Picayune wonders how dealer cen
make ton SO light.
It is mighty good thing for the
United States that it had its naval re-
view before this snow storm compelled
it to bring its navy into the house.
Three red-haired men walked solemn.
before the bar. "Hello,' said the bar
keeper in a tone of interest, who's
elected? Oh, 1 beg pardon" he added,
" l thought it was torchlight process
SION"
Those fellows who hang around
susceptible candidates aad frequently
swell at their expense" Gays the
Lowell, Massachusetts, Cinzen, "may
rather be said 20 laugh in their sleeve"
All, yes, good Citizen, We see; laugh
WITH their elbow, you mean?
Have you seen Prang's 81 900 Christ
mas card for this year? 1t is beauti-
full. A group of children are singing.
The black bands across their foreheads
and the two black parallel lines down
the sides of their faces represent hair.
The three dots and the dash in their
respective faces represent features. It
is worth thousand dollars il it Is worth
cent.
The patient uncovered the shadiest
looking wrist the doctor had ever seen.
Man." said he, "what have you been
using for this sprain?" est. Slocum's
oil, said the sufferer. 81 thought as
much" replied the doctor. "Now use
little soap and water till you get the
soil of, and then come to me. And don t
you ever put soil on a sprain again"
And the man went away exceedingly
sorrowful, for he had just paid one dol.
lar for large bottle.
There is one thing about the colored
man of the South, he may be sorely op.
pressed and down-trodden ia the lower
plantations, but in the hotels he can in
sinuate and solidify himself around
more fees in day than his brother in
the North can do in week. If you
should visit him in his native lair you
would feel sorry for him. Not that he
has to work so hard, particularly, but
because he don't seem to be making
any more out vi the hotel than the pro.
prietor.
How would Queen Victoria like to
trade off Ireland for the Sioux reserva-
ton Mind, we do not say these United
States woHld trade at all; we are Just
giving our right trusty and well be-
loved cousin chance to propose the
trade, sight unseen" The Sioux, we
can assure her, would never raise any
row about the rent. They would also
never raise any rent, either. Nor ne
crops. They would never raise
anything but little hair, now and then,
and Mr.. Tennyson could easily spare
them enough every year to keep them
comparatively satisfied. What say,
grille?
Lieutenant-the commander of tLat
Arctic expedition-ah, you know
Schwatka's name-says the mosquito es
along the ice bound coast of the Arctic
regions are the blood-thirstiest and most
AClOClOuo AC ncls Vclls VIC SuOuAu
think that mosquito that was tough
enough to stand 50 degrees below zero
in the warm season, and had six months
night to practice and field drill, ought
to sustain pretty good reputation as a
bitter. The great trouble with our
American mosquito is that inst about
the Tim he learns to bite through half
inch tee! quilt the fros! comes along aud
breaks his boring thing.
In Lancaster, Pennsylvania, an old
revolutionary document has been dis
covered, it being the Indictment of one
Abraham Hair. for "misprison of trea-
son" because he said, damn the Con.
gress." Ho, no fellow citizens, think
of it Think of putting mar in prison
for talking that way about Congress.
Why, in these better days, nobody ap-
pears to say anything else about it, ur-
less they are restricted from the use of
the phrase by the rules of their church.
In those days it is possible a man
wasn't allowed to say what he pleased
even about the President.