Public ledger. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1865-1893, 1881-10-15
UNCLE zEB'S IDEA.
He Proposes to Buy the Whole
City Of Memphis.
Fence IL In, and Make of IL An
Arcadtan Municipality.

Old Uncle Zeb Daniels remarked to
the crowd yesterday that hung on his
wisdom fraught accents, that he had
an idea. As old Uncle Zeb is re-
nowned for the architectural pursuit
ofair castle building, the boys drew
closer up and pressed him to go on.
TITS a brilliant idea this time,"
said Uncle zeb, "a gorgeous thought.
l was just wishing that I had a mine
Of untold wealth SO hal / could carry
out a little plan to astonish the world
by the creation of an Arcadian mu-
nicipality. l could work to the best
advantage right here, and would lay
the corner stone of my air castle by
"BUYING MEMPHIS
whole and entire. I'd buy everything;
all the stores with their stocks Of
goods, mud works, gas works, court
house and occupants. Then I'd fence
in the town and boss things. 1t should
be my town, and I'd choke the first
son of a Legislator that called it
Taxing District. I'd cover the face
of the bluffs with boards and pain
MEMPHIS on them in letters as biz
as houses. I'd have my own wharf
master and quarantine officer, my owl
elevator and my own tariff of charges
I'd hire the clerks and other employs
to work for me right along, and shiI
every one l caught coppcriug kent
and showing billiards two nights il
succession. I'd turn off every maj
that worked for the
WATER COMPANY
and hire them over again subject Il
my orders, and would teach them il
the beginning hat mud was not fit II
drink. I'd illuminate the city will
electricity and have it as bright b.
night as by day. Pinch, Scotland ant
Fort Pickering should not be discrim
mated against. I'd pay cash for street
and wouldn't have any jobbing abou
it. I'd have a park hat was a parl
and a fountain hal wasn't dry twenty
FIVE hours out of the day. My publ
buildings should have at least an al
of responsibility, and not look Gk
abandoned chicken coops or Digge
Indian wigwams. As all the house
would be mine, I'd rent them out an
try and give the tenant some of hi
money back in the way Of necessar
repairs. I wouldn't build any shan
ties on any of the principal streets
but would tear down all now in exist
ence. Yes" said the old man, warn
ing up, I'D have my own
COUNTY COURT.
OF course l wouldn't own all {
Shelby county and would have to pa
county taxes. I'd have money to pa
but you know I'm a sticker for pril
ciple and l wouldn't pay. I'd clai
my rights. I'd send in a petition
hundred yards long and work up wit
a few sweet sentences. Ofcourse the
would offer to reduce the assessmel
but / wouldn't have that. I'd hay
the whole business RENTED. The
again | wouldn't pay any merchandise
license. What right have [ to p'
when others don't. What right woul
they have to discriminate. That
what Zeb would want to know. 1t
true they could not keep out the
we'll earned reputation for inconsistel
Cy if they granted my petition, b,
with a dozen strong old 'SquireS
lawyers how could they refuse. The
I'd have my own city lawyer and
my OWN ORDINANCES,
in short, my own government.
But hold on Eel" said one of IL
crowd, you could not do that und
the law"
"Pshawl I'd fix that by buyil
passes to Nashville for members Of Il
Legislature and get all the power
, wanted. You're green. Oh, but wouldr
it be glorious" Here the old fellC
declared his throat was as dry as
Memphis water pipe and the croy
adjourned to the corner saloon.