The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1881-08-04
The Whistler on TIE C1rs.

The Whistler on the Cars.
After the train started for Toledo,
which it did on the coldest morning il
could pick out, the passengers gathered
around the man on the vood-boS and
held council to decide the fate of the
man who had been sitting behind the
sad passenger all the way from
Tecumseh down to Sylvania, whistling
every mile of the way. Once or twice
the sad passenger had turned on the
whistler and plaintively asked him if he
had lost dogP or if he Just made that
kind of noise to keep himself awakef
But the stranger paid no attention to
these suggestive and really rather sar-
castle inquiries. except to say :. Huh?''
in sort of surprised stupidity, so that
the relief of silence was only temporary
and the council was called to decide
upon the man fate.
The sad passenger was opposed 70
any unnecessary effusion of blood, but
he had been very sorely tried.
"Why is it," he asked, that some
men never can get into a railroad coach
without yielding to the terrible tempta-
ton to WHISTLE? There is no music in
it; not one man in 5000 can whistle so
that you want to listen to them and that
one man never whistles in the cars"
"And why" asked the fat passenger,
"does the railway whistler never whis-
tie tune? He never does. He never
indicates any intention of even a remote
approach to an air. Above the rattle
of the car you hear melancholy toot
or q mournful wall, a series OF disjoint-
ed and idiotic chirps. that signify in
finitely less than nothing. But he never
whistle tune"
81 sometimes think" said the tall,
thin passenger, 8. from the wrapt ex-
preston of the whistler's face, that he
thinks he is whistling tune. When
this hallucination takes possession OF
him his eyes become suddenly bright,
he straightens up little in his seat, his
lips assume more determined pucker,
and they protrude and recede in strongly
marked alienation; he toots and chirps
with feverish, eager gasps, OCCASION
ally, in the fervor of some of the low
notes, grunting sort of a groan will
escape with the whistle, the time of the
alleged music is quickened and the
whistler leans forward and whistles
down the neck of the patient man who
is writing in speechless agony in the
seat before the one man band. When
ever you see the whistler looking and
acting like this. then vou may know
that he is seized with the insane con-
victon that he is whistling a tune"
9 Perhaps" said the cross passenger.
" at such times he may have in his
mind a dim memory of some tune that
he once heard some man speak of hav-
80 Ecfa n1 fo he haf "a
is performing an imitation of it.
And them" the fat passenger said,
he sometimes beats time to his music
with his feet. This is usually consid-
cred by the railroad whistler as very
effective"
"And they always hunt in droves," :"
said the sad passenger. eff one man
begins whistling in the railroad car,
long before he gets to his first breath
ing spell, one man and another and an
other and then another and more after
that one again take it up, until the car
is perfect cyclone of chirps and toots,
and not so much as q fragment of a
tnue in the whole unrecognizable
| m.l-.
..U1 YOU suppose said Endymion,
| the sleepy passenger, wno only got on
| few stations back and had been sound
| asleep ever since; g do YOU suppose the
man who whistles ever listens to the
warblings of the other whistlers in the
car? Because if he did, and could hear
how meaningless and vacant the music
was, think he would never whistle in
the cars again"
And then, having pounded his over.
coat into a comfortable knot, Endymion
put his head down upon it and slum.
bered.
.Well," the fat passenger said
.swhat shall we do with him? 1 don't
really think we ought to kill him.
mo" said the sad passenger, enc
bloodshed. Let us just fall upon hin
and plane the floor with him."
"Suppose," said the tall, thin pas
senger, ''we take him out on the plat
form, where there will be room to swing
our legs, and kick him?"
1--WE might wait until the train wa:
running little slower" said the eros.
passenger, =" and chuck him out of tht
window"
"l've good mind,' said the fat pas
senger, just to step up and slap his
mouth while he's whistling."
1--WE might throw him down and pull
out his teeth with monkey-wrench,
said the sad passenger, :" so that hi
couldn't whistle any more"
:. Or we might punch a hole in hi
lungs" said the man on the wood box
with brad-awl, and that would le
outhis wind faster than he could whistl
it up"
"Well" they all said, .'let's get hol'
of him and give him little whirl any
how, just for luck"
just then the man who had beer
wh;stling stood in the aisle beside them
He was not a kind-looking man, nov
that he had ceased whistling. He ha
only one eye and his hair was whit
and very short. His neck was of abou
the same breadth as his shoulders ant
he had an unpleasant way, when he wa
not whistling, of holding his chin prett
well forward, and his nose was al
wrinkled up. He was taking off his coat
although the car was quite cool, and b
had just thrown his hat upon the floor
although there were plenty of empt
racks.
" Seems to me-" he said, that yo
ducks amt overly fond of my whistlin'
Seems like heard ye didn't want m
, to whistle no more when you wa
around"
/ There was an embarrassing silenc
about foot long.-Buraette, in til
HaOk-Eye.
. A Terrible Ordeal.