Connecticut western news., 1881-05-11

But on the second Oay, the A1f1can gray parrot, cage and all, came back, with an infuriated note from my Aunt Mahala, to the effect that eff did not know any more than to make a jest of honorable old age, had better abstain from any further communications of any nature whatever with herself. She could not abide the vulgarity of practi- cal jokes," she added, "and was only sorry that by the laws of propinquity she was compelled to sign herself 'my disappearing and deeply offended aunt, Mahala Smith,"
 Here was 8 pretty message for an heir -expectant to receive.
 flew at once to No. IF Maidenhair Court. My Aunt Mahala positively de- clned to receive me, but I saw her com panion, Mrs. Michel.
 "Indeed, indeed, MT. Paul, it is not my fault, " cried the poor thing, wringing her hands. q believe I omitted to men, tion that I had presented Mrs. Michel with trifing fees from time to time.) ''She was so delighted with dear Odo- that was his name, you know-at first, and she would sit and shake her sides with laughter to hear him talk. Of course he swore dreadfully in Spanish and Portuguese-he must have been among the sailors, poor thing-but she didn't understand the language, so she wasn't the worse for it. I've always heard, Michel said she, that they pick up everything they hear at the last place where they have stayed. My nephew Paul must have decided taste for poetry, for Odo is always quoting something quite romantic out of Byron, or Mrs. Hemans, or some of the dear inspired writer's But yesterday Odo sat on his pearch, staring hard at her for at least fifteen minutes, without uttering word, and then burst out {: Take that old hag away! Take that old bag away Where's her wig ? Where's her wig? False teeth false teeth false teeth Take that old hag awayp And so he went on over and over again-and Miss Mahala she turned red, and then turned white-and she jumped up and made a lunge at the poor bird with her fan, and, says she Somebody wiring that birds neck ! and away she goes. Indeed, MT. Paul, it was through no fault of mine. But you know she does wear wig and false teeth P
 "It's all Jones's mother in-law 1" said I, smitine my hands together, in bitter ness of spirit. "Why, why didn't I think of that p
 "Jones's mother-ln-lawl repeated Mrs. Michel, loo king at me with pug zled air.
 "He's just had difference with his mother-in-law," I explained. "There was quite a fracas about it, I'm told at the boarding house. Jones's moth er-in-law called him brute-and he spoke out some exceedingly plain truths to her, as I have heard That's it-that is at the bottom of all my troubles And I wish that gray African parrot had been at the bottom of the Pacific ocean 1 before it ever came over here to mar my prospects, just when they were at the brightest!'
 But destiny was too strong for me. Aunt Mahala, once offended, was be- yond all propitiation. She declared that the story of Jones and his mother in-law was all made-up thing" and refused absolutely to see me. And the very next week she made her will and left all her pr operty, real and personal, to the Society for the Amelioration oi the Panjandum Indians P
 We'll, perhaps it may do them good Perhaps they are deserving objects. Al all events, they never were such fools as to send her any presents of gray Afri can parrots