Daily Republican., 1881-05-26

| 'ihN lphSNI anu th'sll wv '4i'Ai w. Nl'"i
terms.
The man looked at him in great
.mazement, and then said, "Och, sure,
yOu'H uuare man for minister.
Come inside" And feeling rather
ashamed of his conduct he laid down
the poker.
The Doctor entered, and when he
arose to 90 Pat shook his hand warmly,
and said, "Br sure, sir, don't pass my
door again without giving me call. -
A FATHEKLESs COUNTRY.
A man recently received woodcut
picture of George Washington, and
pinned it to the wall near his office
door. One day while at his work, his
little girl came into his room, and eSpy-
ing the picture, started the following
dialogue:
"Who is that picture of, papa"
"Wa3hiDgton."
"Wh0 was Washington"
"Father of his Country.
"Why was he called Father of his
Country, papa?"
"Because he fought for its indepen-
dence, and was Il great, good man..
'lS he alive now, papa"
ono"
"Whcn did he die"
"Deccmber l4th, 1893"
"Who is the father Of this country
now, papa"
"No one; it's fatherleSs."
The little girl WAS silent few mo-
ments, and then inquired:
"Was he the little boy that couldn't
tell lie?"
'"rhe same"
"Well, this country will never have
another father, will it, papa"
And the conversation was concluded
with the emphatic remark:
"Never; not even a steptather."
SPARKLING BITS.
A boy was smoking cigar. He had |
never smoked before and suddenly |
threw the cigar away, saying;
"There's something in that cigar
that's made me sick"
II know what it is, replied his COM
panion.
"What?"
"robacker."
"You'll be sorry when Uncle Tom
leaves, tomorrow, won't you ?" said q
mother to her son.
con, not" was the reply.
"Why not?"
"Cause Uncle Tom always gives me
4 dollar when he goes away"
Tommy was crying bitterly, and his
sister asked him what was the matter.
"Nothing."
"Did your nurse scold you?"
"NO."
"Did Harry strike you?"
ono"
"What is the matter then 2"
81 just feel that Pm going to be bad
to-day, that's ALL"
"What are you doing out there,
George" asked a mother of her little
son. I
"planting cats.
"What did you say?"
"Planting cats. Billy told me to cut
off Tabby's tail and plant it," t
Sure enough, George had succeeded {
N chopping off rabby's tail near the end, |
md he was packing the earth around it a
uSt us he had seen his mother plant e
'osebush the day before. I
Some boys were in room together in i
Baltimore public school, and rs the 0
eachcr approached he saw that they L
we're reciting geography. He stopped '
n the hallway, and the following is a .
peCimen Of what he heard S
Question from Boy No. 1-Can youde- n
cribe the United States ? n
Answer from Boy No. 2-Yankee land b
$ bounded on the north by the aurora s.
'orealis, on the east by the rising sun, q
n the south by the Tropic of Cancer, a
nd on the west by the other side of the II
81
An artist was very proud ola string o.
f trout he had Just painted in his best
lyle. A lady and her young daughter
listed his studio. and were standing be-
Dre the new picture, when the lit1le ci
irl exclaimed: d.
ooh, mamma, what n beautiful bunch a.
bananas" lC
The artist put his great picture away tc
fter that. s.
Boys who eat nuts in public places cl
re not always popular with nervous v
eople who happen to be around. IL
"My lad, " said gentleman to boy 10
ho was eating peanuts at n lecture, II
do quit eating; you are annoying mel" Ia
"lm gnawing these nuts!" said the n
Dy, under his breath, as he slipped II
yer to another seat. ta
81 wonder why papa doesn't come to w
inner 2" said Fred, while all but the ''
cad of the family were waiting at the
LbIe, one day. y
"Oh, l knowr' said little Amy-who "
az only six years old. "He's up stairs Ia IN
his teeth; I saw him just Ia Ia
,w" seS
Amy had seen her father using his t[' I
oth-brush. VI, NV
Little Edith has a funny way otscold- RI
g her doll. One afternoon recently, to
II mother and number of visiting la wi
es heard her eXclaim: wi
"There, don t answer me back You OIL
ustn't be saucy! Now, you know Co
u're always saying saucy things. Po
III must remember I'm your mother,
matter how hateful | ami"
The average plowmar isn't much of
orator, but when he takes the stump M,
d gets yanked over into the next field ba
is very forcible speaker. aw
An enterprising street-vender sells au
onscience suspenders." Called "con- TIL
81 l,nt, al