The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1881-05-03
THE PRESS.
May Women Woo.
Interesting Discussion OF an Important
Problem.
Liberal Review.

Liberal Review
1t is generally supposed to be dreadful
thing for a woman to ''set her cap atm 9TH
or words, to attempt to WOO and wilma man.
Those who air the cheap philosophy of the
time and consider that there is no law so SUI
preme. as etiquette. while they hold the sup
posed DEGREES of the omnipotent Mrs. Grundy
in deep reverence, seem to imagine that it is
the duty of girl to hide from herself the fact
that she has a heart until some unexception-
able suitor discovers it to her, and ardently
protests that it is the one great thing in the
world necessary to his happiness. If she VEN
tured to hint that she was so anxious for the
affection of some male that she would do any
thing within reason to secure him for her lord
she would be accounted unmaidenly, bold and
what not; and it would, in all probability, be
urged that she might be expected to come to
bad end, and serve as an awful warning to all
members of her sex who are inclined to be I'M
disciplined.
But there is, nevertheless, only too much
reason to believe that female human ma
ture is SO weak and Maynard and impervious
to the concentrated wisdom of the ages that
always have their origin i'll the bosoms of i'm
FASHIONED beaux. Now and then, it is solemn
ly recorded, in shocked tones and under the
veil of secrecy, so that the terrible fact obtains
almost as much publicity as if it were pro-
claimed by the town-crier, and has peculiar,
delicious flavor impaired to it, that Mrs
Brown actually committed the enormity of
making love to Mr.. Brown, if she did not in
plain terms invite him to become her husband
1t is comparatively unimportant that she and
her mate appear to be as happy and to get on
as well together as they would, in all probab il-
ity, have done if he had been the first to feel
the stab of Master Cupid's dart, and had warm
~ taken The iniativc III the courtship. 1t
seems 20 lie held that the only plea which may
appropriately be urged in eXteuuation of her
conduct is that she rejoiced in the possessi on
of an abundance OF peif and a certain position,
while his social status was as low as his purse
was light; and even this plea has to be handled
with adroitness if it is to become effective.
Indeed, at a critical moment, when they
have all the touching details of the exceptional
matter before them, they will not hesitate to
speak in terms IF whitening scorn of the frail
female who is so much the slave of her heart
that she is acting as if she desired to bring to
her feet man who, from bashfulness or some
other cause, would not, seemingly, get there
but for her stimulating influence. If she fails,
they rejoice over her downfall, and feelingly
declare that she will merely meet with her
deserts if she degenerates into neglected and
petulant old maid, while if she succeeds they
vigorously discount her triumph, ON the ground
that it is one of which any well-regulated te-
male would be thoroughly ashamed. The
members of her own sex, who when they
cultivate the power of introspection and
are becoming mature, should know how
to make excuses for her, are Invariably
her most virulent critics. Even men,
however, are disposed to show her no
mercy, and there is, probably, no more lofty
and vigorously indignant creature than the be-
ing who feels that he has been tangled" for
but fatters himself that he has not been
caught by the bait that has been so temptingly
placed before him. He would almost appear
to think that he should, on account of the way
he has escaped the snares that have been
spread for him, be placed on the roll of the
worlds heroes. Novelists are the most VEN
tursome of beings; and they have fondness
for houting conventionality; but there are
they perceive how hazardous it would be for
them to outrage popular prejudice by depict
ing heroines who took the initiative in love af-
fairs. A Queen of England is at liberty to
make an ''otfer" to prince-indeed, it is not
etiquette for prince to make an "offer" to
her-but she occupies quite an exceptional DO
sition, and the fact is one which need not to be
further considered in reference to the subject,
especially as her marriage may be generally
deemed to be largely influenced by State con-
siderations. Thus everything is against the
woman wooer, and 1T is not surprising that she
remains something OF a rdra dUis, and, when
her hear proves too strong for her sense
OF the prophecies, often works in cunning and
crooked ways, as if she was bent on deceiving
herself and not letting her left hand know of
the doings of her right.
Yet there ia, after all, great deal of reason
and common sense on her side; so much that
it is surprising the advocates of the "woman's
rights" movement have yet to theoretically
take up the cudgel on her behalf. 1t is absurd
to suppose that affection must inevitably begin
with the man. 1t is equally absurd that he alone
must be at liberty to win the being whom he
beIleves to be necessary to his life's happiness.
The individual who allowed rich prize to
elude him because through some mistaken no.
ton of what people in whom he was in no way
interested and for whom he did not care a
jot would think, he would not stretch forth his
hand and grasp it when it was we'll within his
reach, would, very properly, be accounted fit
subject for Colney Hatch or Rainhill. Why.
then, should a woman be debarred from doing
her hes: to stir the sluggish nature of the being
whom she has, with the natural perversty OF
her sex, fallen in love. with, and who would,
she has every reason to believe, be worthy of
her? She may see that if she will hold out her
hand he will take it, but that if she gives no
sign he will pass on, and their lives, which she
foudly thinks would be exquisite if blended in
the future lie far apart.
Will it not be merely elementary wisdom for
her to come down from the uncomfortable ped
estal where all her energies and emotions are
cruelty cramped, on which artiiciality has set
her? We do not believe in the popular impress
sion that the well-directed maiden only discoy-
ers that she has heart when the right man
asks Tor IT. On the contrary, we are of the
opinion that many girls long, with all the in
tensity of fresh and ardent souls, for certain
men as consorts, when no word of love has
been whispered in their ears, and when no tok-
en- OF affection has been rendered them, and
that not few become broken spirited because
the chance of their bright dream being realized
vanishes. At present woman frequently for
feits her possibility of bliss from the circum-
stance that she, owing to her surroundings and
sense OF what is expected of her, feigns cold
ness which she is far from feeling when the
man whom she loves, while fearing to take the
final plunge, evinces some desire to win her IA
vor. Many would-be husbands hesitate to saw
will you marry me?" only because they
dread that the query will be answered in the
negative, and they shrink from mourning what
they would regard as a keen humiliation. OF
course it may be urged that such cravens are
unworthy of women's love, but the women
have to be considered as well as they, and the
fact remains that, Notwithstanding their obliq-
uity of vision and cowardice, and the clumsy
manner in which they mismanase their
amours, they would frequently make true. ten
der and excellent husbands 1t is pity, then
for all parties that their shortsghtedness and
stumbling should be permitted to lead to such
disastrous consequences, and their sweethearts
might very well be allowed to help themselves
Men have the whole world to choose their
wives from, but women may, under the most
advantageous condition of things, only select
their mates from the comparatively limited
number of men who seek their society and
deign to look upon them with favor. Of course
it may be urged that the rough and ready sys-
tenn of natural selection leads to fewer evils
than might be anticipated-some enthusiasts
may still maintain that marriages are made in
heaven, notwithstanding the manner in which
female humanity is hampered, and the ridicu-
lousy one-sided state of things prevailing upon
earth-but that it leads to gigantic mistakes is
certain, and it is time the weaker sex were Civ
en- to understand that under certain condit ions
they may help themselves to crafty their le-