St. Landry democrat., 1881-03-26
Cows Teeth.
from Peck's SUM-

| one OF them VINO lives Oh DILL IL
rem street, asked the other, a Jack.
son street man, if COWS had any
front teeth on their upper jaw: The
Jackson street man was a little as
tonished at the question, as there had
had been nothing said about COWS,
but replied promptly:
"Why, of course, they have front
teeth on their upper jaw how could
they bite off grass if they hadn't?
The Van Buren street man said
it was not question Of logic, but a
question of fact E; and if the jackson
street man did not know whether
COWS had front teeth on the upper
jaw or not, he ought to say so. "l
did not ask you for your opinion, ne
said, II asked if you knew"
The Jackson street man was
little nettled at this, and replied
| with some warmth. He said If he
had a child three years old who
would ask such a question as that
he should be afraid the child was an
idiot.
"You would %
Il certainly should"
"Then," said the Van Buren
street man, "as it is such simple
question, of course you can tell me
whether COWS have front teeth on
their upper jaws or whether they
have not.
"Why, of course they have.
They have, eh %
eyes"
"I'll bet you ten dollars they
haven't" said the Van Buren, street
citizen, pulling out roll of bills,
and peeling off a couple Of fives and
shaking them at his neighbor. "Put
up or shut up"
"There is some Internal catch
about this thing said the other
suspiciously I might have known
it too the moment you asked me
such an Internal idiotic question:
mo catch at all about it, }" replied
the other, If COWS have got front
teeth on their upper jaws the ten
dollars is yours. If they haven't
the money is mine. Nothing could
| be fairer than that, could there ?"
But still the Jackson street man
hesitated. It was barely possible
that COWS did not have any trout
teeth on their upper jaws. He re-
| membered, then, that COWS in biting
off grass always threw their noses
outward, while horses nipped it off
by jerking their nose inward. He
was astonished at how near he had
come to being victimized, but he
did not like to come down. The
two were then near the meat market,
near the corner of jackson and
Michigan streets, and the jackson
street man was sure that a butcher
would know for certain whether
COWS had front teeth on their upper
jaws; so he pushed open the door
and said to the proprietor
'Linehan have COWS got front
teeth on their upper jaws?"
Linehan was running a skewer
through a roast Of beef, but he
stopped, looking up in astonishment,
and said
"What %
Have cows got front teeth on
their upper jaws?' $8ES
"Cows ?"
eyes"
"Got Got front front teeth on their upper
jaws?''
eyes
"Upon my word I don't know"
+ "You don't know" hEHs.
''No. You see I buy my beef by
the quarter at the slaughter house,
and don't have anything to. do with
/ the heads. But lean find out fol
you when | 50 over.''
81 wish you would"
/ So the jackson street man closed
| the door, and rejoined his neighbor,
and the two walked along without
saying a word. A. milk wagon was
Iseen coming up the street, and it
was resolved to hail the driver and
ask him the question, as it is popu-
larly supposed that milknen are
more or less familiar with cows
The Van. Buren street citizen
cleared his throat and yelled, "Hel-
| lo!!'' the nlilkman reined up and
| said: y&Ez43 fs
"Go ahead with your tests. Il
you find any water or chalk In that
milk I'll give you the whole Of it. ]
The citizen told him to be calm
as they had no intention of testing
his milk, but only wanted to know
4 if cows had front. teeth on their up.
I per jaws.
The milkman looked at them
about minute and then whipped
l.up his horses and drove off men
tioning some kind Of fool that they
we're. Up on Wisconsin street they
saw, another milkman delivering
milk, and overtaking him they ex-
planned the dispute. He smiled
pityingly upon their ignorance, and
!, said: xk#<SE n @s#s#f.