Mexico weekly ledger. (Mexico, Mo.) 1855-1956, 1881-11-17
COMIC COLUMN.

ahoiC ouVP>ulCCl.
The concern that always makes
money-the mint. ....
Row me oh! said Juliet, as she
went boating with her lover.
Motto for q church bazar-"A
fair exchange is no robbery" o.
The devil has one redeeming trait.
He never gives boarder cold rooms.
The young girl who dropped q
basket Of eggs while flirting made q
mash. 81
Man born of woman is of few days
and full of schemes to get his name
in print. .r st g..
What the telephones ask one anoth-
er: "Are you going to the ,bawl
this evenlng?" so s..
If one dog can be placed on a
scent, how many dogs can be placed
on a trade dollar?
"Do you tumble ?" softly asked the
meek-eyed banana reel, as the fat
man sat down to think.
All men who enter bar-rooms are
not wicked. Many enter solely to
commune with the spirits. e. .
A romantic young girl and ten
or singer are harmless when apart,
bnt they make terrible combination.
Before marriage she was dear and
he was her treasure; but afterward
she became dearer and he treasurer.
The melancholy days have come, ,.f
The saddest of the year;
Too warm for Tom and Jerry,
And too cold for lager beer.
Plump girls are said to be going
out of fashion. II this is true, the
plumper the girl the Simmer her
chances. '''
Although early in the season, we
announce that during the coming
winter water will, as usual, freeze with
its slippery side up.
"Six Girls" is the title of the lat
est novel. 1t Is expected that q Sc
quel entitled "Our Broken Gate"
will be issued soon. ~ ,...,.t
Susan B. Anthony wants the
names of the Pullman cars altered
either to Pull-man. and d-woman or
Pull-irrespective-of-sex cars.
A recipe for lemon pie vaguely
adds: "Then sit on q stove aud
stir constantly Just as if any one
could sit on a stove without stirring
constantly. r ....a !; s4,.5
They asked him If he was the best
man at the wedding. ''No," he
said; 81 don't know as 1 was the
best, but bejabbers 1 was as good as
any of 'em!" ~.
An old proverb says: GA change
of pasture makes fat calves.'' With
the members of a burlesque troupe
the same result is arrived at by q
change Of tights. ~. -..
New Jersey is trying to claim Noah,
because he was Newark man. Yes,
but you know he looked out Of his
Ark-an-saw land. Give the South q
fair show in this thing. e"
Mr.. Strauss, of CINCINNATI, re-
Gently rescued two friends who fell
into the water, thus proving the
truth of the old saying, "Drowning
men catch at Strauss"
Landlord-'..Its q good house |;
you'd better take it." Renter---''Yes,
my dear sir, but it has no hall! How
cauld 1 live in a house without .
hail." Landlord-''Oh, you can hire
hail."
"Have some milk this morning?"
asked the milkman of Toozer, who
stood at the back door. s.No, not
this milk, some udder milk, SAID the
little one. And the milkman walked
the chalk line away from the house.
"The Bill passes the house." said
William, as the girl with whom he
had planned a midnight elopement
opened the door. "But the Govern.
or exercises the V-toe power,' re-
marked the father as be booted him
off the steps.
''Do you 60 to Sabbath School, my
lad?" kindly asked a preacher of 9
depraved. dirty little street urchin.
"Narry," answered the innocent
child, SHUT I've got a fighting cock
that can walk over any bird in this
town that wears gaffs.''
Robinson (after q long whist bou,
at the club)-''It is awfully late.
Brown. What will yeu say to your
wife?' Brown Gin whisper)-"Oh,
shan't say much, you know. 'Good
morning, DEAR or something of tha,
sort. She'll say the rest"
A correspondent asks: eff sever.
al families settle in the same neigh.
borhood at the same time, who should
call frst?" We do not know the
exact etiquette in such cases, but We
presume whoever finds herself out Of
parched coffee would likely make ths
first call.
"What would you do il you we're
and were your" tenderly inquired {
young Mexico gent, last eve, Of hi.
lady friend as he escorted her home
from church. "Well," said she, ri
1 were you should throw away tina
vile cigarette, cut up my cane Tor FIRE
wood, wear my watch chain under
meath my coat and stay home nightl
and pray for brains.
/ "Just one," murmured "our Alb
last week, involantarily drawing clos
er to the luscious lips that smiiet
upon him with such bewitchingness
while his own quivered in an agon,
of expectant anticipation. $50
notice" replied she, cody, glancipf
at the clock, ''and time for you t
| turn up your coat collar and shut th,
street door from the outside
A young lady who has slight de
feet in the off eye, entered q drus