Knoxville daily chronicle. [volume] (Knoxville, Tenn.) 1870-1882, 1881-11-20
BICYCLE EXERCISE.
Mr.. SpoOpcndyke Purchases . Ma
chine and Makes Vile q Minute.

Mr.. spoopcndyke Purchases . MA.
chine and Makes a Vile a Minute.
"Now, my dear, said Mr.. spoopen-
dyke, hurrying up to his wiie's room,
elf you'll come down in the yard I've
got pleasant surprise for you.
"What is it?" asked Mrs. Spoopen.
dyke, "what have you got, a horse?"
"Guess again." grinned Mr.. Spooper-
dyke. cts something like horse"
81 knowI It's a new parlor carpet.
That's what it is p"
"No, it isn't either. / said it's some
thing like horse that is, it goes when
YOU make it. Guess again"
els it paint for the kitchen walls ?"
asked Mrs. Spoopendyke, innocently.
"No it amt, and it amt hogshead
of stove backing, nor it ANT set Of
dining-room furniture, nor it amt seven
gross Of stationary washtubs. Now guess
again"
"Then it must he some lace curtains
for the sitting room windows. Isn't that
just splendid" and Mrs. Spoopendyke
patted her husband on both cheeks and
danced down and down with delight.
"It's bicycle, that's what it is
growled Mr.. Spoopendyke. 81 bought
it for exercise and Tn going to ride it.
Come down and see me"
"Well, amt glad" calculated Mrs
Spoopendyke. "You ought to have
more exercise, and if there's exercise il
anything it's in bicycle. Do let's
see it
Mr.. Spoopendyke conducted his wife
to the yard and descanted at length on
tho merits of the machine
s'In few weeks I II be able to make
q mile minute, he said, as he steadied
the apparatus against the clothes poss
and prepared to mount. Now, you
watch me go to the end of this path.
/ He got foot into one treadle md
went head first into flower patch.
the machine on top with prodigious
crash.
/ Hadn't you better tie it up to the
post until you get on?' suggested Mrs.
Spoopendyke.
"Leave me alone, will ye?' demand,
ed Mr.. Spoopendyke, struggling to an
even keel. "Tm dom most o this my.
self. Now you hold on and keep youl
mouth shut. 1t takes a little practice,
that's all.
Mr.. Spoopendyke mounted again and
scuttled along four or five feet and
Topped over on the grass plat.
"That's splendid r commended his
wife. you've got the idea already
Let me hold it for you this time
eff you've got any extra strength yor
hold your tongue, will yer?" growle(
MIR. Spoopendyke. lit won't want any
holding 1t amt alive. Stand back ant
give me room, now"
The third trial Mr. Spoopendyke
ambled to the end of the path and went
down all in heap among the flower
pots.
"That's just too lovely for anything!'
proclaimed Mrs. Spoopendyke. Yor
made more'n mile minute tina
time p
"Come and take it off p roared Mr.
Spocpendyke. "Help me up! Bias
the bicycle - and the worthy gentleman
struggled and plunged around like
whale in shallow water.
Mrs. SpoopendyEe assisted in rightine
him and brushed him Off.
81 know where you make your mis-
take" said she. Tho little whee
ought to go first like buggy. Try i
that way going back.
"Maybe you can ride this bicycl.
better than / can !" howled Mr.. Spoop
endyke. You know all about wheels
What you need now is lantern in you
mouth and ten minutes behind time Il
be the City Hall clock Don't You Sc,
the big wheel has got to go first?"
Yes, dear" murmured Mrs. Spoon
endyke, "but L thought if you prac
ticed with the little wheel at first, yo,
wouldn't have SO far to fall"
"Who fell?" demanded Mr.. Spccp
endyke. Didn't you see me step off
I tripped; that's all. Now you jus
watch me go back.
Once more Mr.. Spoopendyke started
in, but the big wheel turned around ant
looked him in the face, and then began
to stagger.
Look outl" squealed Mrs. spoop
endyke.
Mr.. Spoopendyke wrenched away ant
kicked and struggled, but it was of nj
avail. Down he came, and the bicycl
was hopeless wreck.
"What'd We want to yell for?" h
shrieked. Couldn't We keep you
mouth shut? What dye think y'are
anyhow, log morn! DOu SasL IN
measly bicycle!" and Mr.. Spoopen
dyke hit it kick that folded him vi
like bolt of muslin.
"Never mind, my DEAR" counsele
Mrs. Spoopendyke, I'm afraid the ex
ercise was too violent, anyway, and IL
rather glad you broke it. D."
81 s'pose So" snorted Mr.. Spoopen
dyke. "Thcro's $50 gone"
Don't worry, love. Ill go withou
!, the carpets and curtains, ant. the pain
} will do well enough IN the allCcnen. Lie
, me rub you with arnica."
But Mr.. Spoopendyke was too deepl
| grieved by his wife's conduct to accep
J any office at her hands, preferring t
! punish her by letting his wounds smar
l rather than to get we'll, and thereby Re
lieve her of any anxiety she brought o
: herself by acting SO outrageously uDde
} the circumstances.