The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1881-07-06
The Nocturnal Cow.

With the opening of my spring
movements in the agricultural line
comes the COW.
Laramie has about seven cows
that annoy me a good deal. They
work me up so that | lose my eqa-
nimity. ! have mentioned this
matter before, but this sDrIng the
trouble seems to have assumed some
new features. The prevailing cow
for this season seems to be II seal
brown COW with y stub tail, which is
ARRANGED as u night key. She wears
| it banged.
The other day | bad just planted
my celluloid radishes and irrigated
my royal Bengal turnips aad sown
my hunting case summer squashes,
and the cow went by trying to con-
yey the impression that she was
! just out for q walk.
Tha. night the blow fell. The
queen of night was high in the blue
vault of heaven and the twinkling
stars. All nature WAS hushed TO re-
pose. The people of Laramie were
in their beds. So were my hunting
case summer squashes. | heard Il
healthy step near the conservatory
where my celluloid radishes and
picked beets were growing, and |
arose.
1t was u lovely night. At the
head oFthe procession there was n
seal-brown COW, with II tail like the
handle Of d pump and standing at
an angle of forty-iiye degrees.
That was the COW.
Following at Il rapid rate was q
bewlshing picture Of alabaster limbs
and Gothic joints and Wamsutta
muslin night robe.
That was me.
The qceen of night withdrew be-
hind a cloud.
The vision semed to break her all
up.
BY and by there was q crash,
and the seal brown COW went home
carrying the garden gate with her as
kind of keepsake. She had plen-
ty Of garden gates at home in her
collection, but she had none of that
particular PATTERN So she wore it
home around her neck.
The writer of these lines then
carefully brushed the sand off bis
feet with pillow sham and retired
TO rest.
When the bright May morn WIS
ushered in upon the busy world,
the radish and squash bed had
melted into chaos, and there only
remained soma sticks of stove mood
and the tracks of a COW. intespers-
with the ,laanty little footprints Of
some Per- or other who evidently
stepped shout four yards at lick,
and would wear u number nine
shoe if necessary.
Yesterday morning it was very
laold, and when | wentout TO feed nay
groyai self-acting hen, | found this
same COW wedged into the hen coop.
Oh, thrice blessed and long sought
revenge.
Now I had her where she could
not back out, and | secured large
picket from the fence, and took my
coat OF. and breathed in full breath.
did not want to kill her-I simply
wanted to make her wish she had
died Of membranous Group when
she was young.
While | was splitting on my hands
/ she seemed to catch my idea, but
! she saw how hopeless was her posi-
ton. I brought down the picket
with q condensed strength and ca
gerness and wrath of two long, suf
fering years. 1t struck the corner OF
the hen house. There was a deaf
ening crash and then all was still,
save the low ripping laugh of the
COW, as she stood in the alley and
encouraged me as I nailed up the
hen house again.
Looking back over any whole life,
It seems to me that it is strewn with
nothing but the rugged ruins of my
busted anticipations.--BiH Nye.