davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1881-07-02
IrOquOis.
HOnIOn Pinch

london Punch
The Yankee came down with long Fred on bis
back, " '
black. ~
He flashed to the front and the British Star paIe5
AS the held died away and the fayorite faile.1
Like tne leaves OF the summer when summer is
green,
The faces of Peregrine's hackers were seen;
Like the leaves OF the autumn when autumn is red
led. N1--f-0-1
Iroqqois.!;-then the shoutiugs shook heavens
blue dome,
As the legs of the Tinman safe lifted him home.
Oh, was an Archer, A at this fun,
ana was American, tOO-and wont
And u was the Britain who, ready to melt
A sort OF a je ne sails Uro)-quois felt
10 see his blue ribbon to Yankeeland 20,
b too, none the less, was the hearty bravo
Which, per Punch, he dispatched to ''our kin DER
Who, for not the first time. got the pull of J. B.
1ne brokers OF Wall street are loud in delight
And the bellies of New York grow moce beamingly
bright;
FIZZ creams like the foam of the storm beaten srf
10 Jopathan's triumph on Johns native turf
And Punch brims his peaker in sparkling cham
payne,
Your health, Brother j.. Come and beat ms AGAIN.
And cold grudge at victory honestly scored
Melts away like the snow when the wine is out
poured.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1881-07-02

ing wellnigh distracted by the fear OF losing
her forever, was kneeling before her [he k,,aels
before herl, unable to ssy anything but Il love
you have always loved you'll shall love you
Miss Eol'eaer Ger rotoe trembling aud a tear
cleaning aeore her snlfel-Indeed, indeed, Mr.
Owens, you must not act out your story so
cemonstrauvely. Rise, beg OF you. suppose
M. 0tre1as tSeU Eneellno)-The sixth plate,
Miss Hollener.
Miss RoHtner-The sixth plates
scribe IL.
Miss Hol1ener-I? You forget-you are tell.
NJ. o'rens--I can go no farther. It is for you
to f1nish.
Mss HoHene-And you are really deter.
mined to maintain that absurd position until
do so?
Miss Hodener-I yield to necessity; and ne
cessity being the mother OF invention, invent.
on the sixth plate, Mr.. owens, In the distance
village church was BALI hidden ny group Of
bluer than ever, walked arn-in- arm-or, stay,
hand In banc; that is more pasuoral-the lady
and her lover
Mr.. Otce as-The diamond lovere
Mss HolIener-The pearl lover.
Mr.. OacenS-And why walked they toward
the village church? To hear village sermoa.
sermon.
Mr.. O,oes-Could 1t have been to be mar.
ried?
Miss HoueneT'-I am almost sure IL was
Mr.. OtcefiS-She loved him, then?
Miss Hol'eRer-She loved him.
M. 0acenS-Gabrielle, my darling. You love
me?
Miss RolleHer-Oswald, I love you. Not an
other word now. hear the croQuet party re-
turning to the house.
he Kisses her hand slips a pearl ring on one
or her fingers and springs TO ms feet
Miss HoVener las several ladies' ana gp,ilenle,,
come nlPTrtia into the roOnl)-Mr. Owens will
Well, I'm sure you'll have some strawberries
and cake on one OF these queer old blue plates
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1881-07-02
SNORING.
What Causes It and How Ii Can
He Cured

NEW YORK sun.
1t may not De generally known that it Is the
vibration OF the Uei,tra pendulum palfti which
causes snoring, but it ia no less q matter of
interest to great many people, who either
snore themselves or are annoyed by snorers,
DR.. Lewis 81. Sayre, of 5th Avenue, was asked
Because they don't shut their mouths he
said, NV
"What is snorIng?,
wen, It's common enough" said DR.. Sayre:
and in an on-hand fashion he expIatDed that
s snoring Is noise made In the posterior part Of
OF inspiration. IG Ia due TO relaxation OF the
ferdtoT pdIdtt mods and the cirCtn,ferlts
pdtdu sleep by which the re1uns pendulum
pdlatt is left free to vibrate or nap in the two
currents OF the air which enter at the same
Time through the noStrH3 and the mouth BE-
sides the vibration OF the ueluJR pendulum
pdsaa or soft palate, there is also vibration of
tne column OF air itself Thus is produced the
rasping, snorting noise so we'll known and 50
unpleasant 10 every one within earahot of the
placid snorer himself
Dr. Sayre was asked what caused snoring
Wheh man Is fatigued, )" he said, and his
set-coItTol Is unusually relaxed In sleep. he Is
app 10 let his lower Jaw drop down.. No man
was ever seen or heard to snore with bis mouth
SMUT The moral is obvious. The soft palate
laps Ike sheet In the wind, and the near
heighaorS Of the snoring sleeper are CORES
ponang 4n disturbed r Now, the Indians never
ue!leVes that II he shores when ne is young he
Will grow up to be even less handsome at ma
turlty than nature originally intended. His
sleep In a proper position
A well known physician 10 town, whose prac.
ice has been large In cases OF affection OF the
respiratory system, was asked whether snoring
was disease.
mot so much a disease as bad habit he
salo; " out am frequently called upon to pre-
scribe for its cure"
can 1t be cured?"
Easily"
monty snore?"
Because their systems are generally more
open. Any one will be likely to suore II he
sleeps with his mouth open and no one Will IL
he shuts it." WA" -
How can the habit be cured %
First, you must give person q chance TO
DTeathe tnIougn the nose, and then make him
passage. that must be removed by treatment.
Then II snorer can't keep his mouth smut by
Iofce OF Will, his jaw must be tied up. A har.
ness Tor the lower jaw Is sometimes employed
IN PAD cases OF snoring. skull cap worn UPON
the mead serves to hold system of straps under
the chin, and keep the mouth shut until the
patient can form habit of sleeping on his side.
or Win his head sufficiently elevated to hold
his jaw"
.ls it an easy matter to hold ones law when
asleep?' -" "AoA
Hardly more so than when awaken
why Is snoring, then. so common, IL 1t Ia so
easily cured 2"
Because catarrhal troubles are 80 common.
which prevent free inspiration through the
nostr1Is. In sleeping cars and hotels one fire.
quentIy hears the resonant snore, because
people In these places usually 60 to sleep tired
out An old doctor used TO advocate sleeping
on the face to guard against the possibility Of
snoring"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1881-07-02
The Naa Who Got EN-.
lDetrois Free Press j

Detroit Free Pres
Three or four days ago a citizen of Bronson
street called az the Grafton avenue station %
say TO the captain that he suspected a plot on
the part OF his Wife to elope with q neighbor Of
his who was not only a married man bat the
father Of seven children
what makes you suspect such a plot?"
''WelI, my wife has been kinder pckin' I'D
her duds. asking about trains and trying to get
me TO go away on visit"
''And about this neighbor 2"
wei, he and my wife are talking over the
fence about half the tine and throwing kisses
az each other the other halt. don't care to
raise row over this thing, but I'd kinder like
10 stop EN- from Tunnin' away"
We'll you must take your own way to fruS-
trate IL, unless you go 70 the police justice. Be
careful. however: Anger or Jealousy may get
you into trouble
'oh, III BE- careful" was the calm assurance.
as the citizen went mis- way, 10 be heard OF no
more untn yesterday evening. Then he called
a passing patrolman into his house to ask
You see, they had 1t all planned to elooe..
he explained.
YES"
But got EN-"
He took the lamp and led the way to the
wood SHE'D. The neighoor, dressed 10 his Sua-
day suit. was tied up In one corner. and the re-
ereant wife occupied an emPtry dry goods box
IN the other.
=" Got 'em last night at . O'clock said the
hus band, land I've put 10 the whole day telling
.em ThatI think OF such business. Cues, I'D
better let EN- OF now, nadn'L I?D
The officer thought so, and the neighbor was
released, led 10 the door, and the husband
said
Now you trot, and If you ever try to run
away Win my wife again ril-In be hanged II
don't 90 over and tell your wife abouttt."
he then turned 70 his wife, uutted the cords,
and said: Il guess you feel ashamed OF this
and there amt no need 10 say any more about
IL. amt very mad this ume but IL You try it
again there's no knowing what NAV dr.
"Wel!" gasped the officer, as he drew a long
breath. o
wei, didn't git em?" chuckled the hus-
band. In proud delight. 81 may look like q
spring chicken, but I'm no fool, and don't you
forget IT.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1881-07-02
eff L Was PreAident.,s
detroit Free Press.


terby the other morning, as he passed his cur
over for second cup of coffee, III was Presi
dent OF the United States"
(which you aren't, you know" broke In Mrs
B. In an argumental and confidential tone,
AND not likely to be-" added Mrs BE
mother, with a contemptuouS toss OF her head.
NO." assented MI. b. pleasantly, "but was
just surprising the case"
"Tnen suppose something In reason" re-
torted Mrs. B. snappishly. you might as wei.
suppose you was the man In the moon or the
Man in the Iron Mask Or
$50 might my dear, 80 l might" assented
Mr. b. sun pleasantly smiling. but that has
nothing to do with 1t. l was merely going to
say that II was President OF the United States
I'd" 40
My" burst in Miss Gertrude, aged eighteen,
Wouldn't 1t be splendid il you was. pa? just
change their tune when 1 meet them, instead
OF throwing out their 1nsinua tons about peo-
pie who consider 1t Christian Ike to turn their
last seasons tol slla dress SO that they may have
gre en- with envy before would ever
YES, ana wouldn't warm 1t to Sammy
Dugan. just" chirped in Master Thomas, aged
twelve. I'd go up to him an smack him OF
the nose with q brick fore he knoWed where he
was, an he dassent hit me back then COS Il
I'd De treason, an they'd hang him; and III
slide on the sidewalk an shy snow balls az the
hcoEey every day when it didn't rain an I'd
Yes, chimed In Mrs. g., catching the In
IectlOn OF ner enthusiastic progeny, ''aud then
ID be the first lady In the land, let the next &c
who she would, and Governors wives would
beg TO be introduced 10 me, ana I'll have
pals twice week, and Danquets every day,
and"
+" And I'd have the management OF the
White House, and run things" remarked Mrs
B. s mother, her eyes sparkling with the pros
pect.
Not much you wouldn't" from Miss Ger
truce. mot much If / keep my health AMI
know myself, you wouldn't, not as long as |
was the Presidents daughter and
Yah. Yah calculated Master Toni guess the
Presidents son would be the biggest plum IN
that dish7 Wouldn't be the Prince OF Whales
thtn-say? What'ud you know bout"
''Shut up-all OF you!" commanded Mrs. y ,
II reckon the Presidents wife Is the highest
authority In the land. Anyhow, there'd be
dusty old time If anybody questioned it., and
bet when the exercises we're finished the sur
geon would not ask for any electoral COM
mission to decide 1t over again! MY! I'd ike to
see ahybody-but, by the way. MI. Butterfly,
what was 1t you was going to say you would
DO If you was the President OF the United
States?'
"Resign as soon as the Lord would let me. -
said MIR: Butterfly. calmly but determtnedly.
And then medttatiVe silence fell upon the
family and remained there until the meeting
arose.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1881-07-02
The Markets Of Warrington.

fCor. FOOD and Healthy
don't know that we Can claim any super,o--
lily over our more Northern fellow citizens, but
l am sure that no city In the Union has more
noble market buildings than Washington. 1t
is positive treat to walk through Center Mar
ktt. The glowing colors perfect cleanliness,
sweet odors On every hand-the handsome
rudy checked, mellow voiced women, the
"honey" OF the Smiling African, the cnoice
fruits, crisp vegetables. ana even the meats
which, to tell you the truth. never like to look
spect. But oh! tell me why, and oh! tell me
how can nice, delicate, gentle looking women
carry chicken, altue, hanging head down. for
hours?
1t gives me the heart ache to see the misera-
bic fowls thus tortured or packed In q basket In
Wretchedly uncomfortable position, always
hanging head down. 1t is as barparous as bleed
Ing calves and lambs TO make their flesh winter
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1881-07-02

"WHAT,n shouted q North Hill orator in a
burst OF tervid enthusiasm; "What was Buriinp-
ton tweIty i've years ago? And q thin MAD.
With despairing countenance, got up in the
audience and replied feebly, Burlington,
wasn'l I'll" And then the orator said he hooed
that his cleave might roof TO the tongue OF ms
right hand II he ever went into caucus WItn
such lunattc. burlington Ha,okeye,
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1881-07-02

Two Rhode Island publishers have been con-
victed and sent to jail They were found guilty
OF nbeling q detective. Probably said ne ar
rested the right man.-BostOn Post.
The New York Cremation Society held a
meeting on Tuesday evening, when plan was
proposed for the formation OF national So
clety. Action Is to be had at future meeting
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1881-07-02

1t stations on the new Southern Pacific rail-.
road the following signs are seen Ia front OF
tents and wooden shantieS. zone meal 25
cents" square meal, so Cents" George, Is
CeLts.T
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1881-07-02

FOUR CHILDREN KILKD.-At Lewiston. Pa
Wednesday baggage truck was carried about
number Of buildings were injured near Cham.
bersbunz, q papt mill was partially DESTROYED
and lightning struck house about four miles
from the town, killing four children Of Mr..
MiSh.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1881-07-02
FAMILY SUPPLIES.

{ LAREr' CLAREr-
fhoNsAC. ST. ESTEPHE.
MOULIS. MEDOC.
ST. FRELoDY. PoNTET oANEr.
CLOS DIES MEYNARDs.
MoSSTERRAT LINE JUIoE.
b. W. BEEDs sons.
$50 l2l6 r st. northwest.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1881-07-02

I'LL NoKt0LK IRAGKDY.-4ayor Lamb, OF
Norfolk, va, wednesday mdde investigation
wholesale grocery merchant dad AFTER the ex-
animation sent on Thomas Dpnald for murder.
ana Frank Granoy and J. j. Keeling for bslng
principals Ia the second decree. Apphcatfoo
was d ade TO Judge Gouwin for bail, which was
granted. Donald was required 70 give bond
OF x. 600 and the others s, 00O each.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1881-07-02

the Autumn-HOw the Actress
Dresses ON the STRAIGHTFORWARD
from the BOxeS-Eaint Ackn0w.
ledgment Of the Prfma D0nna,s
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1881-07-02
Shall Walters Wear Boards ,

A proprietor has an undoubted right to en-
gage man conditionally, upon shaving. No
man Is forced to accept; it is solely question
between them. for them to settle, without the
interference Of anybody. Everything is carried
to ridiculous extremes. One well known 10.
town house actually require their men to shave
everything clean. II Is said that guest to
ages whatever, and who consequently lacked
that manly appearance which those ornaments
alone can give, was waited upon by walter
who possessed handsome beard. The Gus.
toner, noticing the difference between the
waiter and himself, announced his Intention
OF not using the house In future unless the
walters shaved, which from that time has been
known, put the proprietor of one OF our leadinr
up town restaurants invariably shaves when Ia
the city: This Is consistency. This gentleman
would, doubtless, scorn to ask a man fo do
what he would not do himself
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1881-07-02

THERE was quite row In the Blue Light;
Colored Tabernacle, between Uncle Nose and
Deacon Gabe Snodgrass. You ia the biggest
black rascal In Austln,' said Deacon Snodgrass.
!" fou Is q neap bigger one," responded Uncle
Nose. placing his hand on the ivory handle of
his umbrella. "Bredderen,p said Parson Bled-
soc, you talks as II Oar was NOBODY else pres.
ent 'cepttn' yerSefs. "-Ier0s Stiffness
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1881-07-02

UNPRKCBDKkTKD IAMIGRATIoN.-Tnere arrfvad
at Castle Garden, In the month OF June 80 aIe
immigrants, making the total for the first 81
than arrived In the flrst half df 1850 In whscS
the Sas,. arrivals were more NUMEROUS than ever
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1881-07-02

DARGAINB-Seuing on my entire stock &c.
ID BOOTS AND SHOES Ut cost. Can early, be-
fore purchasing eleewhere. and secure bargains.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1881-07-02

BEST CINCINNATI HANS.
OLD CROW WHISKY.
VERY CHOICEST sARDINES
Iehghful SWEET CATAWBA WINE, 81 per sal.
GREAT SWISS PROCESS FLOUR.
My BOUQUET WHISKY e.. so per eaIlon.
HORSEFORD'S ACID PHOSPH ATE
FANCY OLD GOVERNMENT JAVA cor Fyp
One Bottle NICE WHISKY, SO cents
Large Stock OROIOE TEAS
Low Prices for Everything
GEO. A. OHARE
WHOLESALE AND RETAIL GROCER.
1e3o-2w 1918 7tb st northwest, bet NJ ana r.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1881-07-02

ar REFRIGEAATOBa WarpM
" COOLERS. OIL AND GAS STOVES.
COOklNG STOVES AND RANGER
We can show the largest assortment In the civ, al
stiow prices. Also OarbolIzed Paper, Moth Null
dew and Water Proof. The attention OF Builders
and others lis invited 70 our large assortment OF
blate MantelA Latrobes. Brick set Ransea ana
furnaces. We are agents for the Social ana Fire
Hoe dewel Latrobes. St George and Stag Head
Elevated Oven RANGE and Radiant Home Fnrn.c.
Estimates given for Timing. Plumbing and Heat
ing W. .. KINKS a. CO..
mf 71S Sth o.. n ~,
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1881-07-02

about. for the president smiled and snooS Tom
by the hand, and then stood up and said to all
the people.
when heard Master Stay bolt say yesterday
Afternoon he could run the engine, / resolved
to give him chance. l therefore ordered a
train TO be got ready, ana l now invite the
school ana ali their friends to go to the station
we viii take the engine out on the line and
Master Stay boltt shall try foe the prize by run
ming the engine mile without wood or water
me engine has never been used, except on IT'S
tIial trip. and there Is not quart Of water in
the boiler or tank, nor pound of coal, or SO
much as match on the tender"
This proposal was received with the greatest
enthusiasm, and the entire company, ladies aud
gentlemen, teachers, boys, and ali, marched
down TO the station and took train of cars
they found all ready for them. A heavy emo
CUR engine backed up ana took the train over
stood. Several OF the directors got out and exo
amined the engine, and declared there was no
fuel In the tender nor drop OF water In the
Doler: me trai ram was packed up to the front
got on board. and the train hauled ont OF the
yard, and took the main line with the empty
engine trailing behind. AS for Master Stay
him ride-t there all alone.
Tom didn't care; In fact, this was just what
ne wanted. The train ran at q good speed for
about ten miles into the country. Then it
perfOrmance-or the failure. The road tust
mere was perfectly Level, and there was switch
and siding. The train was uncoupled from the
engine, and run into the siding out OF the way,
and flag men were sent up and down the line
to stop all trains that might interfere with the
show. The people gathered round the cold and
silent engine, standing In crowd on the grass
by the line. Tom still sat in the engine. AND
when everything was ready, the president said
prize. ~
The idea OF that boy making an engine 90 a
mile! lt was very silly In him, ana no doubt
ne would DOW be properly punished for his
ain boasting,
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1881-05-20


a little boy once went home 70 his
mother and said. Mother. sister and
! went out in the garden. and we were
calling about. and there was some bow
knocking u.s." How do you mean.
johnny" said the mother WHY"
said the child. ~ was calling cut.
Hor and this boy said sHor So
said 70 him. Who are YOU? and he
said, Who are you?' 50 said. what
j. your name" He said. What Is Your
namer And ! said 10 him. .Whydon't
YOU show YOURSELF He said. Show
Yourself. And 1 jumped over the
ditch, and went into the wood. and
could not find him. and l came back,
and l said, II you don't come out
will punch your head And he said. i
will punch your head +"
So his mother said. s.Ah. johnny, II
You had said. II love YOU, lie would
have said, 4 love you II you had
said. Your voice is sweet. he would
have said, Your voice is sweet What
ever you said to him, he would have
said back 70 You" And the mother
said Now, Johnny. when you get to
be man. whatever you will say to 9TH
ers they will BY and BY say back 10
Won: and his mother took him to that
old text II the Scriptures, with what
measure We mete, 1t shall be measured
unto you again. - Illustrated Chrisfian
Vcckly.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1881-05-20

Polly and Peggy were two littlo .;.,.
who lived IN big white house bes' NM
pretty river Pollie's eyes were brown
like chestnuts, but Peggy were blue 4
| the sky. 49, ~
| One day their mamma went a,vav y.
spend the afternoon. The little g;r.
promised 70 be very good indeed while
shc was gone They were to have bread
and butter baked apples with cream
and little sugar cakes for their supner
from. nv
4 was beautiful day; the sun sbons
and Vie birds sang sweetly. The little
girls did not want 20 stay in the bo,,se
Let rs 60 % the river and catch
some fish. said Peggy. So on thav
started with their little poles and l;na:
and bent pins for fish-hooks. The AK
did not lite very well. and by and h.
the children took OF their stockincs
and shoes and wadcd into the clear
cool water.
~ wish we had boat" said Pollje
~ would like 70 have sail" Ind
then Peggy spied wash-tub on The
bank. ~
20 Pollie,' she cried. "somebodv
has been washing. and left tub berc.
that will make splendid boat
Let rs get in II right OIL" said Pol.
lie, dancing about. I'VE must have
some oars
These sticks will do" said Perry
picking up two almost rs big As herself
They rolled the tub into the river
where i danced about like cork. n
will hold II until you get In. Pollie. and
then you must keep II steady with your
stick for me-" said Peggy.
Polite did exactly as Peggy told her
and soon both were seated III their fun.
ny boat. The river was not deep. but
the current was strong. and the tub
iIoated very well. What fun il was!
They could see the white pebbles On
the bottom Of the river. and the bricht
little fish PLAYING hide and 90 seek.
But by and by the tub fioated right IN
= big rock in the middle Of the river.
and the little sailors Were upset into the
water.
I'VE shall be drownedr' screamed
Pollie, hold on TO the rock. the water
streaming of her.
The fishes will eat US upr' said
Peggy. beginning to cry.
just then q man walking on the bank
law them. He waded out into the river
md carried them safely to land. When
he two wet little girls reached home.
lurse was much frightened. and nut
hem to bed right away. They had only
'read and butter for their supper.
'cggy and Polite think they will never
p sailing again. Mary b. Ferry. ~
>sy Lifflc ones.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1881-05-20

Just now the market is overrowdcd
with wild ducks ~ every kind and
name; in fact the massacre u ducks the
present season has been more than
usually large. Single hunters bag 80
and 100 per day, and every choice feed
ing spot hides hunter in his .blind'
and reveals his "bcautiful dccoys"
The deadly storm of lead with which
these beautiful birds are met as they
return 70 their Northern homcsfor nest
ing i cruel, and should call out the pro-
test Of every true sportsman. The long
fall season. during which they are
Legitimate game. ~ well a. their try
ing and precarious winter life in South
ern waters. should suffice. II il well
known 70 every sportsman that many
varieties Of ducks choose thor mates
before their Hight 10 the North. and
this cruel slaughter breaks up the
brightest anticipations that cluster
around the old homes 10 which these
birds every year return. II Is small
wonder that the cry comes from many
q the formerly most favorjte haunts q
these birds that the finest varieties ar0
very scarce. They should BE- protected
By the law humanit5 and the best sport
bothdemand il. -- Chicago Inter.
Ocean.