The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1881-02-18
ENTERTAINING PARAGRAPHS.

SoME men are never sweet on their
wives except at masquerade ball.
A BUsHEn of wheat, weighing sixty
two pounds, contained $500 kernels
A Boston paper charges certain actors
with Illuminating trite faculties. No
arrests were made.
IT is estimated that freight train now
enters New York every fifteen minutes,
each train averaging 30 cars.
Boston servant girls always ask for
poor molasses at the grocery, because it
takes longer for it to run.
THE world is filing up with educated
tools-manhnd read too much and learn
too ittle.-JoSh Billings.
4 MAN troubled with sleeplessness can
cure himself by pretending to do duty as
night Waterman. Orleans Plea
yat1e.
A LA Crosse, Wis, minister prayed
for those "who were smitten with i'll
ness, and those who have gone a-tishing,
and also those too lazy to dress for
church"
AN old couple in Maine have been
married seventy-five years. What a shud-
der this item will create when it gets to
circulating in the Indiana papers!-M. Y
| Commercial.
The obstinancy, observes a London
journalist, with which old smokers cling
to life is really marvellous; they seem
altogether to ignore the fact that tobacco
is deadly poison
LAvArER was a good observer when he
wrote: "Mistrust the man who finds
everything good, the man who finds
everything evil, and still more, the man
who is Indifferent to everything"
AN epitaph on a recently cut tomb
stone reads:
Here lies Samantha Harriet Jones,
| Whose maiden name was Sckles
| Most piteOus were her dying groans,
The cause OF death was-pic6es."
-NeIO York Commercial Advertiser.
WHEN Buffalo street car conductor
was told by lawyer that he had fallen
heir to legacy of 100000, the man
simply asked the loan of five cents to buy
a cigar with. He wanted to find out if
the lawyer was lying to him.
A PERSON who had an important case
in court sent two very handsome and ex-
pensive hagons to the Judge. He or
dered them to be filed with costly wine
and sent back to the donor. The Judge
was pagan, however, and didn't know
any better. Such foolish stories can't be
told of the courts of nowadays.
SLAVERY is still a recognized institu-
ton of Arabia, and an active trade in
blacks is carried on in some of the larger
towns. Arab custom enfranchises a slave
at the end of seven years faithful SER
vices, and on leaving his master presents
him with one or more camels and an out
fit. The manumitted negroes marry and
have an even chance in life with their
former owners. There is no prejudice
against negro in Arabia.
"EYE PEEPNG" is the new game. Two
holes are made in a screen. The per-
formers stand behind it and place their
eyes in the holes, while the persons in
front guess to whom the eyes belong
NeaO York Herald. They have the
same game, modified somewhat, ont
| West. Eye openers" are drank, fight
ensues, in which gouging prevails and
then the person who sweeps up the floor
guesses to whom the gouged eyes be-
long.
RUSSELL SAGE is said to be the very
model of frugality and domestic econ
omy. His household concerns are con-
Quoted with systematic attention. He
weighs out the sugar, tea, coffee, and
spices, and measures the liquids required
by his housekeeper and exacts arigid &C
count from that usual pet ticoated ty-
rant. After this the old man drives down
town and sets to work to checkmate Jay
Gould on Western Union or to get away
with any stray New York Central Mr..
Vanderbilt may not be able to carry
off.