Warren sheaf., 1881-07-30

INTHE FAR WEST.
Fun at Military Post-How the Boys Had
Little Fun with ssSlim Jim.''-
From the Detroit Free Press.
Playing tricks upon strangers is regarded
as rare sport by the soldiers, and unfortu-
nate indeedis the "tenderfoot" who falls in
to their clutches. The Indian scare" is
the favorite sport in this line, the innocent
vietim being induced to accompany party
out from the post short distance Osten-
sibly to shoot antelope. When near some
guloh, or pile Of rocks bowling troop of
soldiers disguised as Indians dash at the
hunters (?) firing blank cartridges and emit
ting the most hideous yells. OF course the
soldiers in the hunting party fall as IL
wounded and yell at the victim to run for
his life, and then the fun begins. Such
wild leaps as are usually displayed by the
frightened "greeny," who darts toward the
garrison with every hair erect, forms so lu-
dicrous picture to those who are in the
Joke that spasms Of laughter at once sup
plant the demoniac yells which but mo-
ment before tortured the pure mountain
air. When he reaches the post the af-
frighted victim yells for men to at once fly
! to the rescue of his wounded comrades,
and then recites story of a terrible COM
bat with an overwhelming force of saw
ages, in which he displayed unwonted he
roism and fought like a demon. When the
bogus Indians come in, doubled up with
hysterical laughter, the dupe either ac-
knowledges the sell and joins in the hilarity
| or sneaks crestfallen from the post and
I foots it to the nearest point.
/ CAUGHT A TAREER.
One day while sitting in front Of the
head quarters at Fort Smith, conversing
with theSl N ented Major Thornburgh, then
comnandant Of the post, I observed %
long, lank roughly dressed fellow standing
up near the fo:t-trader's store surrounded
| by group OF soldiers. He wore upon his
cadaverous features an idiotic grin, and
looked for all the world like recent grad
uate from an inland Missouri farm, Sug-
costing to the major that there might be
some fun in store for US, we walked up to
the crowd, and reached it just as one Of
the troopers asked:
do YOU like to hunt, pardy?"
Hunt? wal reckon deu. Back ter
hum used ter be the best hunter in the
neighborhood, an could knock the delights
outen a squirrel nearly every pop in the
tops o. the highest hlckary trees Oh! I'm
no small pertaters VIXEN it comes to
huntin!"
Here was such a victim as the fun loving
soldiery seldom caught, and every heart
beat high in anticipation of rare sport.
The details were soon arrang ged, and a
party organized to go out upon the chase.
A short time before the hunters took their
departure the Indians" could be seen
sneaking away in the rear of the quarter
masters store houses, and fastening to-
ward rocky gulch half a mile distant
Determined to see the sport Joined the
party of viii ch our rural friend formed
member, and We set forth, telling him the
most improbable stories Of the quantity
of game to be found and posting him as
to the use Of his gun, which, by the way
contained blank cartridge.
When we reached the guich the "Indians"
rose and poured in upon us a terrific VOL
ley-of smoke-and then charged US yell
ing like demondS. Every one Of us but
the stranger fell at the first fire, and in
piteous tones we begged him to run for his
life and send us help. Instead of doing so,
however, he stared at the attacking party
in dazed manner, giving Inference to but
the words:
oval, I swan to gosh"
blazing away vigorously, but "greeny" never
finched. When they got almost close
enough to poke him with their guns he
said:
':W'at in the name O. common sense ails
ye? Air ye crazy, or hev ye eat somethin'
that kinder disorganizes yer innards an
cramps 'em up2 Ye act like drunk lunatic
asylum turned loose!"
With renewed yells the party made dash
at him, when he coolly laid down his mus
ket, and, reaching back under his dilapi-
dated coat tails, produced a pairsof vicious
looking pistols CT the ull-dog pattern, and
levelling them at the now discomitted In
dians"' said:
"Now, you fellers hev made yer play an
I'll make mine. Ground arms, every SON.
ty-four caliber bullets. Drap 'em 1ively!'
and he cooked his murderous looking re-
yolVers. The guns went to the ground ,and
the squadron stood with blank dismay pic
tured on every face.
Nov every dod-durned one O ye stand
On yer heads!"
ooh! NOW see here, pardy," said a SOL
dier, "don't yon know that we were only
io-,'
up with ye, or d streak of daylight'll
foller chank o. lead through yer anatomy
IN holy minute"
The troopers obeyed, and in q moment a
half dozen pairs Of legs waved wildly in the
air. He held them in position for fully
minute, when he permitted them to again
assume u natural position upon their feet
Then he got his late companions in the line
q had sneaked behind large rock), and
for fully an hour he held the entire crowd
together, putting them through the most
LUDICRO Us ACTS AND CONToRTIoNS.
He would make them turn somersaults.
walk On their knees and on all fours, Law