St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1881-04-09
ALL SORTS. .

Wives of rich men oft remind 1me. 9S
We may make our wives s'o''
But $40 for bonnet of time.
Knocks check-Dook o"' W
One evening, at Paris ca1e, a
group of idlers were discussing Poi
itics, and people who change ,t4,ra tI
opinions. .swell," said one, "ivo
never cried, Long live any Doay:
"Quite so,7 remarked one; o'o
then you're DOCTOR"
An exchange tells ola young lauy
who, six months after a happy nlai
riage, on being asked If she was
much troubled with cold feet, Sill
percd hesitatingly and with lnge-
nious simplicity replied: eyes,
but-but they're not my own,
"James, did you divide your pa
per of chocolate with your brotn-
cr?' "Yes, certainly, mamma;
ate the chocolate and gave him the
motto-hc is so fond OF readlng,
you know"
'Can I give my son college ed
ucation at home y asks a fond pa.
rent. Well, you may be able TO
teach him as much of Greek aud
Latin and mathematics as the col"
lege could, but you never can so
thoroughly imbue him with the idea
that everybody else is a blamed
fool Henry Ward Beecher.
"Dance!' said the young lieuten-
ant; "by Jchosapllat, III become
the best dancer III Washington!
Hang it, | don't want to go ont
West and fight Indians, and if L
become the tayorite dancer do you
suppose the daughters of the sena-
tors will let their pas permit me to
be sent away. | know what's
what "-Congressional Record.
The reason given by the colored
man for not going too near the hind
legs of a famous roam mule was so
satisfactory that we can afford to
adopt it as an excuse for not doing
great many other things. ''Da
reason,' he said, ''why [ neber
'proach dat roam mule from de rear
is dat I'm too fond of my family an
don't belong to no church, nudder."
-[Talmage.
A pleasant-looking gentleman
stepped out on the platform of an
elevated car the other morning, and
inhaling the fresh air enthusiastic
cally observed to the brakeman,
'lsn't this invigorating ~ ''No,
sir; this is Harlem,' said the con-
scientious employe. The pleasant
looking gentleman retired.-IBos.
ton Post.
a preacher in Pike county, Mis-.
sissippi had been for weeks con.
ducting q wonderfully successful
revival. "Dear brrthren and SIS
ters," he said one day, ''this is the
last meeting shall hold, it is inn
possible to keep up fervor on corn
bread and molasses for myself, and
an ear OF corn day for my horse,
God bless YOU"
A good parson, who had the hap
py faculty of saying a kind word
for everybody in whose behalf one
could be possibly said, recently Of
ticiated at the funeral of farmer
who was known as the meanest and
most miserly man in the neighbor-
hood. Instead of execrating the
deceased for his extortionate and
nisardly habits, this kindly dis
posed clergyman simply spoke of
him as "the best ,arithmetician in
the country [Moundville Presby-
terian.
Bill PITT and Joe Nagel had =
FIVE dollar game of billiards in the
: "Gently Dreaming saloon, on Gal.
weston avenue. Bill lost the same,
J. but instead of paying the five dol.
lars he said: 'H haven't a cent o1
D tmoney with me, joe" You haven't1
What sort of a way is that for a
, gentleman to do-to come into a
saloon and play without a cent oil
5 money in his pocket? How, now,
am | to pay what [ owe the bar
: keeper !"- Galveston News.
MOllie'S Ram at Church