The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1881-08-12

Hash.
They say Grant has $50, 900 income.
If wit is badinage, what must 1t be
in youth?
Don't judge mans character by the
umbrella he carries. II may not be
his.
A man in Connecticut is said TO have
been cured of Brights disease by diet
of skim milk.
There is one good thing about boy
when q circus is in town. You know
where to look for him.
/ Prof. Charcot, Paris doctor, is said
to have been paid $4,000 for consul
tation I'm st. Petersburg.
The young man who gave up drink
ing to propriate his girl wisely conclud-
ed that miss is as good as smile.
Why is the money you are in the hab-
1t of giving to the poor like a newly
born babe? Because it is precious
little.
There is a good deal of human nature
in canary bird. He always begins to
chatter so soon as the piano begins to
play.
Sleepless Man: "What is the best
way to kill cStr' "Any way, any
way, so that you make sure thing of
Do not tell man he lies. 1t is vul-
gar. Say that his conversation sug-
gests to your mind summer resort
circular.
DR.. Hunters great Indian Gazetteer
occupies 100 volumes, aggregating &c.
| 600 pages. About 80 volumes have
been publ shed.
Beavers are rapidly increasing in
California, and are damming the state
almost as much as some of the disap-
pointed politicians are.
A venerable old man, worth over
1000, who is stopping at Saratoga,
N. Y, for his health, peddles whisk
brooms to help pay expenses.
Insurance aggregating 100000 is
found to have been placed on the life OF
Robert Bell, an aged negro, who has
just died at Westminster, Md.
Rhode Island has 21O miles of rail-
road, but when deaf man is hoisted
OIL the track by COW catcher he a.
ways finds himself inj an adjoining
state.
A Chicago policeman lodged four
bullets easy enough, but then got tired,
and the fifth one fetched him. Even
policeman can't stand everything.
A black bear endeavored to hug
Montana girl, and she punched out his
eyes with q parasol. Detroit white
bears are somewhat better treated.
The news comes by way of Welcome,
a London publication, that President
Garfield was once president of Williams
college, and that his wife died in 1875.
A tourist was seen shedding tears at
the tomb of Washington the other day.
1t is supposed he lost IS somewhere in
the vicinity Norristown Herald.
The giraffe is very timid animal.
His neck is so long that when his heart
into his mouth it takes him half day
to get it back where it belongs
| TPeck's Sun.
If the country should Tip up little in
the course of week the matter need
excite no alarm. Senator David Davis
is going to the Pacific coast for a rest.
- TCouri err Journal.
John and Hannah Sickle, negroes liv-
ing near Schooley's Mountain, N. j.,
are said to be LOG and 102 years old.
The other day John won a harvesting
match against four sturdy farmers.
1t is understood that Barnum will
add to the attractions Of his circus next
season native born American no has
never had college title conferred on
him. Chicago Tribune.
Vast hocks of sheep arc owned in
Australia, one man having 500, 900 ami
mails, another $4,000, the Australian
land company 100000, and numerous
other proprietors from 100000 down.
wards.
1t is not safe to argue that revival
of business is at hand just because your
wife has succeeded in disposing of your
second-best suit of clothes in exchange |
for great plaster.of-paris parrot with |
a tomato-colored beak.
An old maid of Plattsburgh, Mo-, has
five trained cats. On bed, in Sleep
ing apartment are to be seen five little |
pillows, handsomely decorated with
lace, fringe and gay ribbons, and on
these the five cats sleep.
Caught in the act, Clara: go, Char
ley, you naughty boy! saw you throw
your cigar away just as l came around
the corner" Charley: "Why didn't
you say YOU wanted it? How was to
know~
The new roof on the cupola of st.
Peters cathedral, at Rome, is divided
into sixteen sections, each one requir-
ing 100000 pounds of lead. 1t was
begun seventeen years ago, and will
not be finished for two years longer.
The Cleveland preacher took for his
text, "He giveth his beloved Sleep"
and then said, as he glanced around,
that the way the congregation had
worked itself into the affection of the |
10 rd was amazing.
"What shall l tell people who ask
whether You are engagedr said a
young lady at the dinner table to a
somewhat eccentric theological student
at Andover." Tell them that you don't
know" was the INSTRUMENTATION
alist.
A worthy deacon, in town not far
away, gave notice at a prayer-meeting
the other night of church meeting
that WAS IN he held immadiatelv altar