davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1881-03-05
Atirainia fue 2tesa
IT.. n. Dc W. ". b. G4LLAHER, Editors.
CiarIestorn. Jefferson County Hest Ia.
Nurch ,. 1851.
Marcia ,. 1851.
JOhRny'S Joke.

Mr.. Wagon vas the victim. Els son
Johnny is a mischieyous lad. and the other
day resolved to play a trick on his brother.
He arranged certain attachments to that
brothers bed, worked by cords running to
his own room, and then went Off fishing.
While he was gone, his brother was sent a
way to be absent over night, and lot OF
company arrived II the house. Mr.. Wagon
gave up his own room to them and occupied
the absent sons bed Johnny got home
late at night, and wholly ignoraut Of this
change Of arrangements, went to his room,
which was next TO his mothers, and prcpar-
ed to pcrpetratc hisA,s.s IS upon HE broth
er.
The first proceeding was 70 haul on : cord
which ran between the blankets and spread
on his brothers bed, and, being fastened at
the top, would pull the clothes OF the bed.
Mr. Wagon was comfortably tucked in,
when suddenly the clothes began to slip,
and he found himself uncovered. lie
thought he might have kicked them of, and
sat up and took hold Of the clothes to pull
them back. Meanwhile, Johnny had yank-
ed another cord which pulled the pillow off
the bed. Mr.. Wagon discovered his loss
and reached for the pillow, and when he got
it the clothes went of again. He was much
excited at that, and again went after the
clothes and again lost h.s pillow.
That time the pillow went under the bed,
and Nr. Wagon went unler after it, and
Immediately came out again and swore
prodigiously, for the floor was strcwn with
chestnu. burs, and he had gotten into them.
lie resolved to scold the chambermaid Cor
leaving so many pins on the floor. Once
more he made an attempt to get the pillow,
and, as it was way under, he made Il frantic
dive for it, and Just then Johnny, who was
shaking with laughter pulled the last cord
and the whole bed came down upon Mr..
Wagon aud jammed him upon the burs.
His frantic howls brought his wife and
friends to the rescue, and he was fshed out
And then the gas was lighted and somebody
discovered the cords running to Johnny S
room. Mr. Wagon at once fastened there.
The lad explained that lie thought his
brother was in the bed, but it didn't make
any difference. His yells were mistaken by
man sleeping half mile away for a cry
of fire, and he jumped out of bed so hard
that he sprained toe.
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1881-03-05
Mutton.

In an economical point Of view mutton is
the cheapest meat used it is also the health
est, at least, it is claimed 80 by physicians
who have studied the workings OF various
meats upon the human system. The very
poor, as well as the rich, can afford the
choicest parts of the mutton carcass. Far
mers well understand the profits Of early
lambs of the best quality for tho butcher.
Il is one Of the most interesting and prOfits-
bic branches Of ofsheephusbandry in locations
accessible to market. At twelve or fifteen
weeks, properly fed, they will weigh ten TO
twelve pounds per quarter, and readily bring
from IS to IS each The amount Of lamb
in the market, however, is sometimes very
libcral--in fact more liberal than the con
ditions would seem TO warrant. But when
a customer at the restaurant calls for roast
spring lamb" end gets mutton, and don't
know the difference, why, it's nil the ,amc,
you know.
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1881-03-05
VOL. 7OVOL. Is, NEW SERIESI CHARLESl
VIRGINIA FREE PRESS.
TERMS.

eaS-THxFRss Pass Is Published weekly al Too
D ,Ir-, ati F.ftg Ceats per o'tara' !" aaeaaee.
-s-rHREE DOLLARS g not paid in advance.
rs-l.s o ifa. asd Fifly Cents for SIC mouths.
se-rhs terms Of advertising are. for square
ro5eip.h1 or less. Ote Doilar AID fgiy Ce"t' tor
49, insertions larger ones IN the saue proper
,i,o Zach continuance FVty CenfA
re-No advertisement o. be considered BY the
10Th ,r wear unless specified on the Manuscript
cr previously agreed upou between the parties.
rF-An advertisement not marked on the copy
r,- I. speci6ed number of insertions will De con
,iausd until ordered out, and payment wil be
sxacted accordingly.
ss-GssrLAa AoveRrIsguENrs.-To avoid any
uisuodsrstandiug on the part Of the annua' adver-
tiers il s proper to state distinctly that their pri-
vil,ge only extends to their immediate business
Real Estate Legal or an other advertisements sent
bvthsm 20 b. an additional charge, aud no varia-
sion.
Es-Obiuary notices Of more than five lines
Will be charged for
JOB WORK K-Posters. sale Bills, Circulars.
card, &e, cxecated promptly, neatly, and al i'ir
p-.ces.
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1881-03-05

Mr.. Edward Atkinson prime mover IN
the proposed cotton exposition at Atlanta
next October and, We may add, an excellent
judge Of land pcculiaritics, tells New York
reporter:
Let line be drawn from point on the Ohio
River on the western edge of the blue grass re-
gion, around the western border Of that disiri :
to Chattanooga Tennessee; thence around tho
sOutherly end Of the Appalachian chain by way
of Atlanta. Georgia; thence norihcrly on the
eastern edge OF the Piedmont region % Virginio;
thence by way Of Lynchburg 20 Harper Ferry
and thence by way Of the Potomac and Ohio tg
the point Of beginning and you have included
an area equal 10 that Of France, and nearly
double that Of Great Britain. liisnOt too much
to say that ia agricultural and mineral resour-
ces it exceeds Great Britain and France combin
ed. and is possessed cf tho finest climate 20 be
found c1st Of the Rocky Mountsins
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1881-03-05
uaat rinariy Persuaded he mulc.

A guantand wicked looking mule belong
ing to a countryman baked IN River street
Yesterday afternoon, and the usual crowd
gathered to Offer advice and suggest plans
for moving the auimal Various expcdienis
were tried, such rs twisting his tail and
putting dirt into his eyes, ears and mouth,
but he retained his composure and refused
10 notice the treatment OF the operators even
with kick. They were about TO build .
fire under him, when saloon-keeper IN the
neighborhood offered to bet FIVE dollars that
he could make him get" and there being
no takers. concluded to doit inst for the sake
of showing his knowledge Of mules. lie
took from his pocket flask of River street
"tanglefoot" and poured n little into the
passive mules mouth. In a second after
ward there was blank astonishmont in every
feature of that animals countonance, and
the next instant he bumped himself and
shot down the street as if with the intent of
eclipsing st. Juien's record. The owner
watched him for moment, and then turu-
ing to the bottle holder said, Mister, Il that
ere stuff amt too pizen strong III take a
drop of it in my mouth for I've gol 10 catch
that mule. e."-Nsudrk Sunday CgA
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1881-03-05

Lady Burdett Coutts gives a go-5y to an
established matrimonial precedent which
only her fabulous wealth and high station
serve to sanction She mauies Mr. Bartlett
but. so far from taking his name, makes
that nice young man assume hers! and
this, it is said, in order to elude some legal
conditions attaching to her marriage and
which would render her riches a bit less.
How these Crnsuses do hold on totheir pos
sessions. to be sure. IN the matter Of their
mutually eccentric choice-if indeed the
youthful groom had any word to say-those
mated doves have some rich examples before
them: In i767 in Bedford, England, a man
of Is welded woman Of 63; at Worcester,
one year later. the tables were turned and a
girl of 10 married a giant Of 90. Then,
again, blind woman of tha; ags cspoused
a plow-boy of 20 In 1863 Eotherite
maiden of 20 took for better or vorsc-pro-
badly worse-a man of 23 4 sweet 16 al
lied her precious self to q sorr ninety-four
with a bag of money, and, in Scotland in
l749 "the noted bachelor W Hamilton,
altho' somewhat deformed found his COM
pcnsatory bit of beauty in a bride Of %.
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1881-03-05
WINCHESTER ITEMS.

From the Nelcs
There is talk Of an effort 10 resume opera
tons at the Shoe Factory at an early day.
The stone house on Loudoun street, late
" owned and occupied by Miss Julia Kurt
was sold last Saturday to Mr.. Charles T.
Huntsberry for $1,000.
Mr.. Henry Wulfcrt assumes the manage
ment Of the Taylor Hotel on March lst.-
The incoming proprietor is well known u
the public as a gentleman entirely capable
ofrunning first class hotel. Hewill make
a popular landlord, and We predict for the
Taylor house, under his management, great
success
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1881-03-05

Dr.. Emmons, oneof the famous New Eng
land diyines, met 1 panlheistical physician
at the house Of q sick parishioDer. II was
no place for a dispute but the abrupt cues
tion Of the pantheist was, Mr.. Emmons,
old are you ?" A old az creation" was
thetriumphantrespOn "Then YOU are Of
the same age with Adam and Eve" Ger
tainly; / vasin the garden when they we're"
A" have always heard that there was a third
party in the garden with them, but never
knew before that il was YOU"
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1881-03-05

4 book agent, who has retired from &c
tive labor upon the bard-earneG accunula-
tons Of life Of industrious cheek, SAYS
that the great secret Of his success was, that
when be went to house where the female
head presented herself, he always opened be
faying, Il beg your pardon, miss, brt i
vas your mother wanted ~ see. That al
ways used to get 'em. Tney not only sub
scribed for Iay books themselves, but told
n. where / could fad more customers"
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1881-03-05

Bob Ingersoll says he has no war 10 make
on Delaware because Of the clamor some Of
its citizens are making against his peculiar
notions Of orthodoxy. lie says he is not
going 10 strike ut Delaware, because when
he wants to fight state he prefers one Of
his sizc. "I think" said be, state that
calls twenty quart Of peaches a bushel
ought to talk about something else than
blasphemy"
That's what we csll impeachins State
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1881-03-05

did YOU make the train?" asked the
anxious questioner. No" said Smarty,
." it was made in the car-shops" 81 mean
did YOU catch the train With a slightly
embarrassed manner. or course not !;
It's not infectious" was the cute reply.
Well, YOU dsrned fool did you arrive az
the depot IN time p No, you internal idi-
OF, ! arrived in a barouche." Great hea-
yens ~ shouted the questioner, did you
board the cars?" Jumpin' jerusalem. r
howlcd the smart man once more, you
know don't keep clearinghouse y
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1881-03-05

a young man while attempting TO fix a
misplaced switch" on young lady's head
in q ballroom, stepped on her dress and
" wrecked the train" She told him Il
" conductor" to aseat and be more "car-fu'
in the future.
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1881-03-05

A gentleman not unknown in Literary
circles was present at one of the Pope's re-
ceptions. The holy father approached him
and said You an American. Areyou
a Catholic or Protestant Holy father"
replied our friend " am nelther q Catho-
lie nor \ Protestant; | am journalist.
His holiness laughed heartily. and moved
IN - -orle one elss
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1881-03-05

Head and Foot stones. Mantlc> Statues and
Carving. I'm an irs varions branches. and all
work iu their business. Al orders promptly
hllel at the lowest rate. and shortest notice,
and AN work delivered and put up, and auar-
anteed to suit purchasers. If not. no sale
Pleas, call and sec and Judge for yourselves be
forcp purchasing elsewhere. and pa.ronize Home
Manufacturers.
The subscribers have also in operation their
shop in Nartiusbur-, where they will give
pr0pmt attention 20 all work entrusted 10 them.
DIENL G BRO.
Charlc~town. July Is. 1SG7-y.
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1881-03-05
George EpdegFGG & Son,
Wholesale Manufacturers Of
CLIO tt IN @
Gloves, Fur6, Hats,
AND
GENTS FURNISHING GOODS.

NXTE have 100 hands i'm our manufacturing
w departments, and our goods are sold only
az one Price and For Cash. Every article We
offer the public LAS the price marked ON the
sauc iu plain figures We do Merchant Tailor-
ing and oar own make of Eeady-Madc Clothing
is equal % ,he best found anywhere We have
21U Patterns to select froH for suits for custom
,.,ff work
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1881-03-05

The highest priced coal il about Ls-high.
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1881-03-05
500 Ready-rN' ade Suits

FOR MEN AND BOYS CANT TEAR EN-
NENT i, under the charge ot New York city
Designer who cuts 10 tit the shape of the per
son and second u none among the professional
art, I'm thi, branch of industry who cut and
dc.i.uucat comturidblc-iittinsa well as tasty,
uobhy and artistic garments.
HATS AND CAPS in all thcir different styles.
S--ery D.foct styles Of Gior.s-oH o,n' MATE.
Our 50 Cent Unlaundricd White Shirt beats the
world an kinds OF Shirts, Collar, Cuils Shirt
Studs. Sitcycaud Collar Buttons. NECkWEAR
i'm ON, hGaircd different styles Suspendcrs.
HanjNclchics Came Umbrellas, and everything
known To- Gcntlemcn's or ouths Furnishings.
Iilcs R,ie,. Eu6aio Robes N'cgh. Bnqgy and
- -------.---
The central Presbyterian. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1856-1908, 1881-03-09
For the Central Presbyterian.
Rev. w. S. Cosner.
Who is to Take His Place? Who will
say. Here am I send me2

say, Here am I, send me?
There comes from that large field re-
Gently made vacant by the death of young
Cosner, call, which 1 hope some brother
will prayerfully consider.
1. 1t comes from that pious woman,
that sorrowing mother who gave her son
to God and to the work of the ministry.
On the day of his funeral remarked that
Williams death would be great surprise
to the brethren Of Presbytery-was it 80
to you Mrs. Cosner? She replied that
for some days she was expecting it and
was preparing to give him up-(such
resignation L have not seen mot in all
Israel but felt sorry to give up his
work. When Presbytery meets in the
spring will you see the brethren and get
them to send some one to take his placeP
2. 1t comes from the following letter
written by Miss O., one Of his flock.
Dear Mr.. c. 1 have been thinking of writing
to you ever since Mr.. Cosner's death. wish
to know whether there is any probability of our
getting minister to fill his place. Mrs. Cosner
and have been praying for pastor. L think
if God sends us one he will show us how to pro-
vide for him will do my part and more than
Mr.. Cosner's preaching. l miss his Bible class
instruction more than his preaching. God has
taken away our bright and shining star and left
us in darkness-for how long 1 know not. We
are as sheep without shepherd. We feel lost
without our pastor. / think Mr.. Cosner has
made good impression on some hearts that
might be brought to a Saviour's love if they
were only cared for. 1 think l know of two
that would join the church if communion were
held at -.
Now Mr. @. if we do not get minister, beg
Of you that you will come once year and hold
communion at -. You shall be well paid
and receive the thanks Of ALL
3. 1t comes from the urgent and fre-
quent cal!s-sending their sleighs and
vehicles for me-to come and preach for
them. The other day 1 met a sturdy
mountaineer on our street who said, 1--WE
The central Presbyterian. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1856-1908, 1881-03-09

dLo IAhNNt AOAOheoy Will ~, aho 81
complete the enumeration-1l5 in the
ology and 81 looking in that direction.
With only 95 vacant Congregations, there
is no reason to complain of the supply of
ministers which is forthcoming AS a
matter of fact, we have never had so
many in preparation before. The quality
seems also to improve with the numbers
Thorough preparation is the watch word
The pulse of the Church may be felt in
the colleges. We feel confident that our
surplus men will not be allowed to re-
main idle We hardly hope to be able
to send all of them who desire to go
abroad to the heather. Already we have
had to. allow rumber to seek employ
ment in the missions of some of your
churches and Boards; but the Church,
which can provide more men than its re-
quirements at home demand, may be ex-
pected to develope rapidly its contribu-
tions to foreign mission work.
1t may be of some interest to add, that
our students are left pretty much to their
own resources for their education. We
have no fund out of which to assist them
The only source from which they can
draw is the bursary fund, which is dis
tributed through competition from year
to year. Perhaps ought to add, the
mission field into which we have been in
the habit of sending our young men, after
they have entered theology, and some
times before-out of 212 Home Mission
agents employed last year, 1873 were stu
dents. We are driven by the necessities
of the field to press laborers into the SER
vice; but, in fact, we find our students
most successful class of workers, and we
recognise the training which few
months experience of actual work in the
vacation gives them as very valuable.
Not the least valuable element in it is
the enthusiasm for Home Missions which
they carry with them into their pas
torates.
a few weeks ago, our Montreal Col
lege authorities were greatly cheered by
the generous proposal of one of our Mon
treal merchants, an active elder and Sab
bath School worker, to add to the present
buildings a convocation hall and library,
together with dining hall and num-
ber of dormitories. The gift will be
worth $60,O00 None of our institutions
are fully endowed, although all the older
ones are well-house1. We have few mer-
chant princes in Canada, as yet. We are
poor; but our ability is increasing, and
recent efforts show that wealth is coming
to sympathise more with education, and
in particular with education for the min
istry of the gospel.
| am not sure but Montreal College,
which | have just mentioned, stands alone
on this continent as a training school for
laborers among French Romanists 1t
has special mission to this class, in the
midst of whom, indeed, it is situated.
One-third of its graduates can conduct
services in both French and English.
Old France, in the person of some of its
Evangelical pastors, who have lately Wis
tied Montreal, has been begging for some
of its French students to assist in occu-
pying the many places there which are
now clamoring for pure gospel
R.. D. F.
The central Presbyterian. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1856-1908, 1881-03-09

Mr.. Cole, missionary of the American
Board at Erzeroum, has been on an extended tour
through Turkey and found large numbers Of
the people ready TO welcome him. The Russian
occupation is quite noticeable at Erzeroum, and
IN proof OF change for the better, one of the
missionaries reports that native brought for.
ward his wife and introduced her-a thing
which be had never seen done before.
The central Presbyterian. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1856-1908, 1881-03-09
RICHMOND, VA, WEDNESDAY,, MARCH 9, 1881. -

miss that young minister. Everybody
liked him. My children loved him"
"Also I heard the voice of the Lord
saying whom shall l send, and who will
go for us?" Presbytery waits an answer
j. M. G.
P. S. Any information desired concern
ing this field may be obtained from Rev
G. w. White, Moorefeld, w. Va.
The central Presbyterian. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1856-1908, 1881-03-09

The only post-ofice in the world
which continues to be respected by pilferers is
the letter box in the Magellan Straits-a simple
cask chained to the rock. passing vessel
sends boat takes what letters there may be
and deposits its own. The post t-ofhce is under
the protection Of the navfes Of the civilsed
world, and although it has been established for
many years it has never been robbed.
The central Presbyterian. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1856-1908, 1881-03-09
Central Dresbpterian.
OFFICE:
No. 1915 Main street, opposite the Post Office.
TERMS:

Three Dollars a year; six months, 81. so;
three months, rs cents payable in aduance.-
Ministers of the gospel, $3.50.
Payments may be made to local agents wher-
ever practicable; all ministers of our Church are
authorised to act as SUCH Or by checks, Post
Office money orders, or letters Registered by
Postmaster. Otherwise it must be at the risk of
the party sending it.
Obituaries charged at FIVE cents line The
party sending can make the estimate by count
ing eight words to a, line. Payment in advance
Advertising rates furnished on application to
the Office.
Communications and letters on business should
be addressed to CENTRAL PRESBYTERIAN, Box
81, Richmond, Va
Richardson & Southall,
Editors and Proprietors.
The central Presbyterian. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1856-1908, 1881-03-09

Entered at the Post-Office at Richmond, Va, a
second-class matter.
American citizen. [volume] (Canton, Miss.) 1864-1890, 1881-03-05
WIT AND WISDOM.

The pastry cook is not able to make
a magpie.--M o. Pcdyune.
-"Let's consolidate" is what the
bashful telegrapher says to his best girl.
Detroit Free Press.
The first thing to do when an Arctic
exploration expedition has been fitted
out is to lit out an expedition to go in
search of the first one, and SO on
LoUeH Courier.
-"Lend me your ears" quoted a
Chicago orator, and wicked St. Louis
man who was present said it was big
loan to negotiate in Chicago.-Boston
Commercial Bulletin.
Whenever young ladies learn SO to
stick pin in their apron strings that it
won't scratch a fellows wrist, there
will be more marriages. Falls
Reporter.
An Iowa clergyman regulates his
marriage fees by weight, the rate being
four cents pound for the bride.
Should Sarah Bernhardt ever conclude
to marry she can make money by hav-
ing the ceremony performed in Iowa
Philadelphia Nea0s.
There are SO msny inventions that
" cannot get out of order and Twill
last lifetime" that anybody who shall
discover something that ,0tN get out OF
order and will only last long enough to
be carried home, will supply long-felt
want.--Bosto,s Transcript
American citizen. [volume] (Canton, Miss.) 1864-1890, 1881-03-05
CANTON, MISS, SATURDAY, MARCH s.

other words, he is not disposed to en-
force the Maine law in the White House;
yet he does not want to ALLEVIATE the
temperance people by abolishing 1t
there. He would be glad to compro-
mise, but compromise is impossible.
The temperance people are as - stall
wart' in this matter as the other stall
warts are in regard to the Southern
policy of the new Administration. They
insist that the table and sideboard rule
of 1S77-Sl shall be adopted in 1879,
and that not a drop of the juice of
grape, corn or rye shall be allowed ex-
cept for medicinal purposes.
b, So the case stands at present. MIR.
Garfield has not fully decided what he
will do. and is sorely perplexed in COM
ino to decision. Cabinet construction
is easy compared to it. for if one piece
of timber does not suit he can put in
another; but it must be total abstinence
or nothing. If the former, he will dis
please himse and three -fourths of those
whom he entertains, and if the latter,
he is sure to provoke storm of anti
alcoholic wrath. From the best OBJ
tainable information on this inter esting
and important subject the probabilities
are that the rule of 1S77-S1 will be sus-
pended on and after the 4th prox !; at
least for all dinners to which company
is invited. At any rate it is rumored
that Mr.. Garfield leans toward mildly
spirituous regime, and that while still
Topen to conviction, it will require a
prompt and vigorous advance of the
temperance army to hold the fort so
gallantly held by the Hayses. Louis
ReDztbltcan.