Daily Republican., 1881-05-19
IN A MERRY VIEW.
Fun and FrOlie From FacetiOus
Newspaper Clowns.
FATE OF THE GIRAFFE.
From the N Y. Tribune.

leave the show. Before the eXcitemel
: over this announcement had subside,
the ring master said he had IL lette
: from one of the trick mules, who ais
: withdrew from the show. Atthis ther
was little squirming among the snake
, and one, a Copperhead, spoke up
"LoOkS as though the show was break
ing up and a Fellow who had bee
Kicked out once and crept in again unde
the Canvas, and WAS wanting to be ap
pointed Scene Shitter, said; 'lt's
Cold Day for this Show when it get
left by that Noble Animal the Giraffe
to say nothing Of the Trick Mule
The SHOW, however, Went on, and the
Giraffe and the Trick Mule went ava,
and waited for the Manager to send fol
them. After many days, curiosity as
to what would become of the Circus
gave way to solicitude for the Giraffe
and Trick Mule.
a Committee being sent out learned
that the Trick Mule had hired ont on
TowPath, but that the Giraffe, having
never done Anything Useful, sought
Employment in Vain until Village
Engine Company utilized him as Fire
Escape, i'll which position he wasable to
do for Others what he never could do for
hinSelt-iet them down easy.
MoraI.-No one Animal, or even two.
can break up Whole Show.
a GOODB BARGAIN.
Sir Patrick Hamilton, mayor of Dub
I'm, had according to Walnole, a mar
SlnonlouS wife. In his mayorality, be
could not persuade her to buy IA new
gown. The pride Of the Hamitons
Surmounted I'll apenury ofIhe Highland.
lie bought silk that cost tive and fifty
shilling, yard, aud told his wife it
cost but forty. 'FOry shillings a ward,
Lord, madam, said one Of them, 81
would give tive-and-torty myself"
QUA You, madam You shall have
1t al that price Judge how st. Patrick
was transport, Il when he returned at
night and She Dragged Of the good bar
gam she had made.
A party Of vegetarians were strolIinr
through meadow where herd Of
;attle was grazing, when one of the |
beasts, becoming tuliouS at the sight |
u red shawl worn by Il young lady. |
'haSed her ith such fury that she !
'niy just managed TO escape with her
lie over the style at the end of the
meadow. "Nou horrid, bloodthirstv
rute'' cried the girl, trembling in every
lmD, as she watched the iufuriated
nlmal on the other side of the hedge
his is the gratitude to me for touching
othlng but vegetables for the last six
lonths! From to-day | shall begin to
at roast beef again."
1t was at concert, and well known
erlnan cantatrice asked Il gentleman
whom she had been introduced how he
ked her duet. "You sang charming
:, madam. But why did you select +
lch horrid piece OF music" "Sir.
lat was written by my late huabandn' u,
An, yes, of course! did not mean 3,
-. But why did YOU select such IA &
wv to sing with you?" Ach, hammel. +
at Is my present husband"' f.
"A certain young lady, on her way to I
museum, spoke to her escort iuces- II
ntly OF the delight it would give her U
behold the mummy which she had T.
armed was there on exhibition. The Il
ung man after entering the museum, j
ok her at once to the mummy, the "
st sight Of which disgusted her. "Oh, II
ok, she said, what horrid dried 81
thing though we were going to D.
real live mummy" "
4. critic dropped into studio in Paris D,
day, stopped before the portrait of ia
ady on the easel, and remarked: at IN
very nicel y painted; but why did YOU III
re such an ugly model ?" 1t is nv tn
ther, calmly replied the artist. "Oh! tn
don a thousand timeS," said the
tic, in great confusion. Ycu are III
mt. | ought to have perceived it. 1t u
emDles you completely" da
young lady who distinguished her VI Va
at the Cam oridge local examination ~ ~,
just been relating some ast0nish- ~,
astronomical facts and figures. %.
q her cousin, who 'never went in "o' :"
that sort of thing, you know :" 81 se so'
how one can find out how large and ~ y.
away the stars are bat, by Jove, | 80
t quite see how they ever found out ~; vlt'
If names 20 nv
the
harles Fox and his friend, Mr.. Hare, I
1 much lncOmmoded with duns, he
Q in house, when, seeing some an,
oby men about the door, they were mi
III they were some bailitfs in search ret;
lem. Not knowing which was in sui
ger, Fox opened the window, and Th,
ng to them, said: "Pray, gentle mex
!, are you FoX-hunting or Hare poi
ting" iI r,
lring country ramble Brown fell Sen
mlld-puddle and feartully mud Gee,
his clothes. Jones, his companion Sen
trying, by the means of "a casual torL
to rid Brown of some of the thick con-
t 1t, when q passing country man tive
ired: "Say, yeou, whatr yeou
?" My friend, / am simply scrap-
IN acquaintance" said Jones, in -,
landest tone W
school teacher who lost all patience nor ,n".'
very stupid boy finally told the thn tiol
father "Your son is getting Sans Snp
} and worse every day" 'I don't oem' .'enl'
he can be quite that bad, remon~ Poa hoiI
ID the partial parent. "WeU, n''u n"sa
nvery othor a.. 1.'"s "ol'o "hu ing
Nit otH'i ubHj VI shy IHFe1 ,pJ
week, said the teacher. pnh, DIV
IN a man see without eyes?" nom;
the professor. eyes, SIR" was the elem
pit answer. ''Pray, sir, how do but $
lake that oat?" cried the astonish- wher
ofessor. "He can see with one, thnv
'eplied the ready witted youth Conl
le whole class shouted with de- the ,
Vt his triumph over metaphysics ho1
rt (to prosecutor y "Then Won for NJ
ize this handkerchief as the one satist
was stolen from you?" Satur
ecutor: eyes, your honor" he W.
lrt : "And yet it isn't the onlv perso
erchief ofthe sort in the world. shoul
us one | have in my pocket is concl
Y like it," made
~ likely, your honor; I had two from
intent
hat does vour husband do o., Rober
the census man. Gle amt doin' drawr
at this time of the year," re- requeS
lie young wife. "Is he pauper?"
he census man. (She blushed @