The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1881-03-23
HUM0R,

A matchless story--one in which
there are no weddings.
A down-cast girl, who is engaged to
lumbermsn, says she has caught
feller
Plump girls are said to be going out
Of fashion, If this is true, the plumper
the girl the simmer her chances
Gentlemen who are continually in
Weighing against fashion worship
should remember that it makes a heap
Of difference whose dress is gored
a chivalrous exchange thinks when
man marries widow he should give
up smoking. "She gives up her weeds
he should be equally polite.
1t would be quite easy TO pay the
national debt by imposing tax on
beauty There isn't woman living in
the country who would not demand to
be assessed.
Bridget, | can not allow YOU to
receive your lover in the kitchen any
longer" ITS very kind of you,
ma'am, but he i, almost too bashful to
come into the parlor
Miss soprano (who has Just finished
playing) did | drop any notes,
Susan?' Her cousin Orom the rural
districts0 "No, not as knows on, but
I'll look under the pianny an see
Why mourn for Grimes his daughterslyc;
On fashions streets we lind 'cm.
And they wear "Old Grimcs's coat
An buttuned down behind en-
An aristocratic papa, on being re-
quested by rich and vulgar fellow
for permission to marry lone of his
girls, gave this rather crushing reply;
Certainly. Which one would you
prcfcr-the waitress or the cook?"
An Ambitious girl in Dubuque.
Fen IN hove with q dear foreign duke;
when She learned that his cash
Was all earned singing hash,'
She kicked ike Bashi Ba1ouk.
a young lady was caressing a pretty
spaniel and murmuring: II do love a
nice dog "Ahr sighed a dandy,
standing near II would | were a
dog" ''Never mind" retorted the
young lady, sharply you'll grow
A provoking mistake Charlie, his
sister Grace and her friend are skating
together on the polo grounds.) Charlie
This way of crossing arms is really
very confusing Grace CATER a mo-
ments panse) stop squeezing my
hand, Charlie.
4 SANDER refuted; George Selwyn
once affirmed in company that no
woman ever wrote letter without u
postscript "MyneXt letter shall refuto
YOU said Lady C.. Selwyn soon
after received letter from her lady
ship, where, after her signature stood;
up. S.-Who was right; You or lP"
Nervous bride, who has been reading
an account of the condition of the
public thOroughfareS, 10 her husband:
MY darling, if you love me You won't
90 out to-day Husband What's
my pootsy wootSy afraid of?' Nervous
bride-"Why it was only the other day
that ] asked you if you knew how to
swim, and you told me you didn't"
Did YOU ever see woman slip DOWN.
OF course YOU never looked, but then
you've seen them, She don't flourish
around like an intoxicated Jumping
jack, filling the air with arms and bad
words, as q man, but she simply alb
breviatcs, so to speak, like crushed
hat or patent drinking cup, while you
stand by and wonder YOU never noticed
that hole in the sidewalk before.
They were watching the seagulls
whirling in graceful circles above the
waters of the bay, while the rays of the
sinking sun covered the landscape with
flood of gold, Finally he turned to her.
and in u voice trembling with emo
ton, asked; Darling, if we were sea-
gulls, would you fly away with me and
be at restp" TO which she answered.
with her gaze fixed on far-oif mass of
castellated clouds mo, George I'd
let you fly away, and then I'd have all
the rest wanted here