The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1881-02-16
FAOETIE

She booted at marriage alliance.
She talked Of the missing link.
She quoted Swans AMI preachers
OF greater or less rcnown-
! Patonic IN all her features,
She got a mash on clown.
IL don't take a very fast horse TO
catch the epizootic,
The woman who pretends 10 laugh at
love is like the child who sings at night
when it is afraid.
1t is curious provision of nature by
which the trees are made TO bare
during the cold weather
A bachelor, according to the latest
definition, is man who has lost the
opportunity Of making woman miser-
| able.
Jones thinks man is fortunate who
has his will contested after death only.
He says his will has been contested ever
since he welded Mrs j.
The worst case of fayoritism on rec
ord is that of Il youth whose mother
put a larger mustard plaster on his
younger brother than she did on him.
An instance of shrewdness is given
in the Princetonian; Student, after
class-"Did you mark me absent, doc
torY' 81 did sir; and what's your
namc?n
Brilliant and impulaiye people,"
said lecturer on physiognomy, "have
black eyes, or if they don't have EN-,
they're apt to gctcm, if they're too
impulSive."
A cross-eycd man who said he was
going TO ''yote as he shot" had his bal
lot carefully put among the scatter
ing by the judicious inspector. BoS-
tom Commercial bulletin.
The woman who trims her own bon
net can always be picked out Of crowd
by other women; now if men only had
this peculiar gift of selection. -Netc
HaceH Register,
Wonder what baby would think it
worth his while to 90 through the wear
and tear of growing up, if he knew
that he were TO become freight brake
man or druggists clerk!
"Why, Frankyn exclaimed the
mother at the summer boarding house
II never knew you TO ask for a second
piece of pie at home II knew it
wasn't no use" replied Frankly, quietly,
as he proceeded with his pie eating.
you smoke too much, my dear fel-
low-positiyely, you do. You'll ruin
your health" "WAo /? Oh, bless
you, nor But you do-you smoke
an ounce a day, at least" "But, then,
look at the small pipe smoke it in"
An editor in Georgia says: Gold is
found in thirty-six counties in this
State, silver in three, copper in thir-
teen, iron in forty-three, diamonds in
twenty-six, and whisky in all OF them;
and the last gets away with all the
rest.
The truthfulness of a sign over a
Santa Fe saloon is TO be admired An
old-fashioned perforated tin lantern
hangs upon a rude bracket, and in the
night throws dim and fitful light upon
strip of white muslin on which is in
scribed in large letters, Nose paint"
'Do you expect to be rewarded here
after for the good deeds done in this
life?n asked q Galveston Sunday School
teacher. Il don't expect nuiiid myself,
but the old man was banking on the
Galveston postoflice ifHancock had not
fooled him responded the boy, whose
father dabbles in politics.
Sharp child-"And so you are very
poor, marin" Aged party-"Ah? ia
be glad of a copper from anybody"
Sharp child-'I'ye got bad shilling;
will you have it?" Aged party-''A
bad shilling amt no use Sharp child
Oh, amt IT, That shows you don't
20 to church and never puts money in
the plate. '-fuU.
Miss Anthony i, about lccturing on
this subject; Woman wants not
bread, but the BALLOT We fear that
woman, in abandoning bread for the
suffrage, will cause man to want bread
more than ever, and he will vet very
little that is homemade if his wife fol-
lows san.-HuUord Evening Post |