New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1881-03-16
WHOLE NUMBER l66

SuIl UA!u " AaSt US Guc TcSt VI tu0 6uAAs
mer. We see, Mr.. Barnaby, there's
great cable rope stretched from a post
in the sand out to buoy in the water,
an eff ye CANT swim, ye hold on to that
rope an stand still an let the big
waves, higher'n rail fence, break over
ye. Well, we put on our bathin' things,
an went down over the sand to the
water, weth more n one thousand four
hundred people gain at us. an such
tiggers as we was in them bathin' toy
gerry. Mister Barnaby, was ashamed
OF my family, an was ashamed of
myself, when see how we looked.
amt been the same man sinst. When
l come ont of the water that day, I
took to drink; me, that amt SO much as
tasted even glass of beer in thirty
two years, an a leadin' member of the
temperance society. tuck to drink
an tried to drown the reckolection of
what I looked like, an, got bilin' drunk
afore succeeded. Well .Miggles she
scOlded because I went along loOkin' so
sneakin', and ma she said I never did
have any pride or style about me, an so
braced up. an went along, lookin' as
bold as sheep. When we got down
nigh the water, ma. her nerves give
way, an she caught holt of the rope,
about five foot above high water mark,
an belt on to it like it was matter of
life an death, an she squat down in
the dry sand, whar the water couldn't
reach her at all, an thar she sot, an
we couldn't make her bulge. Such a
figger! She he'd on gray dress, not
half long enough for her, with red
stripes runnin' round an round it, an
a pair O. gray trousers that looked like
they had been made for the man in the
moon an was misft, an no socks, an
pair of great fat straw shoes, an
then she he'd oilskin cap on her head
to keep her hair dry. An thar she
| was, squattin' in the dry sand, holdin'
on to that rope as though she was goin'
to drown every minnit, and no water
within six feet of her. Miggles scolded
an coaxed, but she only Jest sot thar
an shook her head. Bime-by lost all
patience an grabbed her~ by the wrist
an pulled her down little higher the
water, she a holdin' back an kickin'
sand all the time. Purity soon thar came
a wave that wet her feet, an you should
have heard that woman yell.
"'Oh, ma said Miggles, EVERY
body's laughin' at us!'
"'Hev some forchichude, MAJ l
says, 'ye can't drown'd here.'
"But every time a wave came clust
enough to wet her feet, blamed eff that
misguided woman wouldn't rise and
stand straight up an yell like Co.
manche 1niin. But we coaxed and
rastled with her, and edged her down
cluster an cluster to the low-water
mark, when all of student, ker
sworsh! Gums waYe that buried tho
hull caboodle of US in perfeck cyclone
of sand, sea-weed an brine. Poor
Miggles was stood straight up onto her
head. I was landed high an dry up
on the sand, a layin' on my back in the
shape of letter x, an MAJ
"Wen, sir, Mr.. Barnaby, that woman
helt on to the rope like grim death till
that wave went back, an then she
opened her mouth, blew out a gust of
salt water, shook the sand out of her
eyes, raised a war-whoop that would
jest ha' made your hair stand on end,
an lit out acrost the sand for the bath
house, straddling along at 2:40 gait,
an hollerin' like al, creation every
jump. Mr.. Barnaby, sir, I'll never for
| get that awful, inhuman spectacle eff I
live to be a thousand years old. I
didn't know whether to cry, 'rlaf, r
sw'ar. I follered along to the bath
house, an put my head in at the door.
Ma says, ma, thurs no fool
like old fool, is there?'
can ma she jest lifted up an hit
me such a swipe acrost the head with
that soakin' ridiculous bathin' dress of
hers, tibet fer mint l thought the end
O the house had fallen in on me.
"Wel], sir, Mr.. Barnaby, we didn't
go into the surf no more, ma an me
didn't. We lolled around down thar
mebbe six weeks longer, an got into a
few more fool scrapes, an when we lit
out fur home at last it was like comm
to Paradise, an l don't want to get out
side of Nodaway County agin fur the
next ten year.''--P. j. Burdette, in Bur.
H1agtom Ha,vkeyc.