The Dillon tribune. [volume] (Dillon, Mont.) 1881-1941, 1881-09-10
GU Ghe xids.

\ cynical old bachelor says that lovers
are like armies the, get along we'll enough,
ill the engagement begins.
When woman arrives at the age ct e
without accommodating husband. she en-.
joys attending one funeral more than a
dozen balls
Jones thinks IMAM is fortunate who has
his will contested after dealt, only Ne
he welded Mrs. Jones.
The red, white and bluc---thc red checks.
"hitc teeth and blue ewes Of 4 lovely girl.
are as good flag as a young soldier in the
battle Of life can fight for.
There is only now and then an oppor.
tunity Of displaying great courage. or even
great wisdom: bat ever, hour in the da,
offers chance 10 show our good nature.
The Inter Ocean says there has not teen
murder in Chicago fur several months
that cannot be traced to whisky There is
whole temperance sermon in that brief
remark.
The burlington lIawhrvc thinks there is
no use Worrying about the tendency OF
cigarette smoking TO destroy the bows lives
because the bov wM, smokes cigarettes
"ilI generally BE- improved ~ killing.
Chicago Inter Ocean: An Ohio woman
owed he, hired man $500. and had not the
funds on hand to paw the debt. hut she
married him. This shows that the genus
" finance Is not confined to the men Of
Ohio.
Small boy in Sunday school. the class
having been instructed in regard to clean.
illness. Tcachcr--llow should w- keep
the Sabbath day. 'Clcan!' said little
seven yc.sr-old, thereby preaching 4 whole
.crMon.
Proof po>itive.--Wifc (wt.o has been
sitting up'): well, this is pretty time
~ come home! Four o'clock Husband
(who has taken nothing but one glass Of a
curious compound spoken Of By himself as
,'Whiskanwarra') "Wha' you mean,
madam. by 'Forklock; Unfort'nly for you,
it sho 'appens, curiouslenuf, parsh'd
Trinity. madam. and heard it strike one
(hic) shevcral times, madam" Rctircs 70
tied in triumph, and-his boots.
1t was Sunday evening. Angelica has
III; ;.>l!,,r "bcst young man" to the even.
ing meal. Everything had passed oil har.
moniously until Angclica's 7-year-old
brother broke the blissfull silence by ex.
claiming, "Oh, ma. yer ough,er seen Mr..
Lighted the other night, when he called to
take Angie to the drill; he looked so nice
sittn 'lonyside Of her, witt his arm
"Ercd!" screamed the maiden. whose face
hogan to assume the color Of 4 we'll done
vrab-quickly placing her hand over the
boy's mouth. "ier oughter seen him."
continued the persistent informant, after
gaining his breath, and the embarrassed
girls hand was removed; che had his arm
--" "F,ctidie," shouted the mother. as in
her frantic attempts to reach the boys
auricular appcndage she upset the contents
Of the teapot in Mr.. Lighted's lap, making
numerous Russian war maps over his new
lavender mnt,lmns. NJ was just goin' to
say" the half.iris htcned boy pleaded. be
tween a cry and an injured whine, "hc had
HI, a.m-" "'4ou boy" t!.::.,>.ea the
father, "away to III, woo,.shel" And The
boy IN III. for the nearest exit. exclaimirg
Il, he watzed, II was only going to So,
Mr. Lighted had his army clothes on, and
leave it to him if he didn't" And tl,'
boy was permitted to return. and the
remainder Of the meal was spent in cx.
plantations from the family in regard to .l'c
number Of times Freddie had to be ",alked
to- for using his fingers for ladelCn.
known.