Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1881-01-09
A Slight IndispOsitiOn.


A Slight Indisposition.
"That's BETTER" groaned Mr.. Spoop-
endyke, as his wife arranged the cool
pillows under his head; "now I can die
looking out upon the trees and sky"
sob you won't die" said Mrs Spoop-
endyke, cheerfully. "You're only
little sick, and you'll get over it."
That's all you know about it,"
snarled Mr.. Spoopendyke. "To hear
you talk, one would think you had only
to be fitted up with little beds and a bad
smell to be government hospital. I'm
down sick, I tell ye, and I don't want
any fooling about ii"
"Well, WE'LL" cooed Mrs. Spoopen.
dyke, "don't excite yourself. Keep
quiet and you'll get We'll"
"Much you'd care,' muttered Mr..
Spoopendyke, turning on his side and
resting his cheek on his hand, an atti-
tude generally assumed by martyred
spirits upon the approach of dissolution.
"Wil you take your drops again,
dear?" asked Mrs. Spoopendyke, 'It's
time for them.'
"No, I won't. They're nasty. !
haven't had anything but drops for.
week. From the way you administer
drops one would think you was the trap
door of hanging machine. Gimme
some figs"
"But there amt any figs, dear, I'll
go and get you some, J." said Mrs. Spoop-
endyke.
"Thats it," growled her husband.
You only want an excuse to leave me to
die alone. Why haven't ye got some figs?
You might know I'd want figs. Got
citron?i'
"No, I haven't any citron, but I won't
be more than a minute away, and I'll
get you any fruit you want. T."
"Oh yes. You'd get it I have no
doubt. What you want is a rail fence
around and gate off the hinges to be
dod gasted orchard. Fetch me some
Strawberries.
"Why, strawberries are out of season.
There amt any in market now"
"I supposed you'd say that, ;" moaned
Mr.. Spoopendyke. "You've always got
some excuse. If I should die, you'd
have an apology ready. Gimme some
thing to take this taste out of my
mouth"
"What would you like, dear?" asked
Mrs. Spoopendyke.
"Soap, dod CAST it! Gimme soap if
We can't think of anything else," de-
manded Mr.. Spoopendyke. "Mebbe
you amt got any soap. At least you
wouldn't have if wanted it. Got any
cherries
"No, they are out Of season, too.
There are some grapes in the closet"
"Don't want any measly grapes. If I
can't have what I want, I don't want it.
Where's those drops? Why don't you
give me my medicine? Going to let me
die for want of q little attention?
Want the life insurance, don't you?
Going to gimme those before the next
election %
Mrs. Spoopendyke ladled out the dose,
half of which went down Mr.. Spoopen-
dykes gullet and half over the front of
his nightshirt.
"That's it," he howled. "Spill 'em.
They're for external application. Put
'em anywhere. Put 'em up the Chin
ney," and Mr.. Spoopendyke fired the
spoon across the room.
Have piece Of orange to take the
taste away?" asked Mrs. Spoopendyke
pleasantly.
"No, / WON'T" objected her spouse.
(" Gimme piece of muskmelon."
CT don't believe they have muskmel-
ons in November" answered Mrs.
Spoopendyke.
"Of course they don't" responded
Mr.. Spoopendyke. "They don't have
anything when I'm sick, It's wonder
they have houses. It's a miracle they
have beds. I'm astounded to think they
have doctors and drug stores. I've got
to hurry up and die or they won't have
any undertakers or collins or graves.
Gimme a piece of orange, will ye?
S'pose I'm going to lie here and chaw on
the taste of those drops for month 2"
"You'd like those grapes" suggested
his wife.
"No, I wouldn't, either. What do
you want me to eat 'em for? Got any
interest in the grape trade? Get any
commission on those grapes? Anybody
pay We to make me eat 'em? Onewould
think you only wanted an iron arbor and
four small boys climbing over you to.be
grape vine. Where's my pill?''
"You took your pill, dear" replied
his patient wife.
"Oh, of course A pill is out of sea-
son now. Can't even have pill when
feel like it," and Mr.. Spoopendyke
groaned In spirit and looked dismal.
"Now sit down and don't move. Iwant
to sleep. Don't you make bit of noise
If vo1, want me tO live :"
And Mrs. Spoopendyke held her
breath and never rustled feather while
her husband lay and glared out of the
window for an hour and half.