The Benton weekly record., 1881-02-18
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a man knows what "rhe Charge of the
Light Brigade is when he gets his gas
bill.
Mr. Vennor, the American people are
no hogs. They know when they have
enough. Call Off your blizzard
January is All of month-that is,
swearing 'ofl month. But the month is
generally longer than the swear off.
Kissing is something like seycn-up. IF
he hcgs, and she thinks she can make
points in the game, she will give one
Al aesthetic Bostonian, after viewing
Sara Bcrnhart!t's paintings, sent her
commission to paint his barn-anocturne in
red. He said he liked to encourage talent.
"Colonel' said Il man who wanted to
make out a genealogical tree-"Colonel"
how can I become thoroughly acquainted
with my family history?
TO his fond father, who has asked him
where he is in his class now ''Oh, pa, I've
got a much better place than I had last
quarter.' ''Indoed? Well, where are
yous? "Im fourteenth 'Fourtcenth
you little lazy bones! You were eighth
last term. Do you call that a better place !?
Yes, sir, it's nearer the stovc,'
There are none as deaf as those who
wont hear. "Father,' said young repro
bate, pitching his voice so the old gentle
man would be sure to hear F'lct me have
one hundred dollars?" "Eh?" said the
parent, inclining his ear. ''Let me have
two hundred dollars?'' II heard you
quite distinctly the first time, my son,
quite distinctly.
sA-aacipe for making soup: Take pail
of water aad wash it clean, then boil it till
it is brown Oh both sides: pour in one
bean: when the bean begins to worry,
prepare to simmer, It'll too rich; pour in
more water; dry the water with a towel
before you put it in. The dryeftrc wa
ter, then, the sooner it browns. Serve
hot.
At a negro prayer meeting, one Of the
brethren earnestly prayed that they might
be preserved from what he called thcil
''upSettin' sins
s.pr,,7aer >, poid ono of N, o,,1ors s.vo,
b,;n,t ,xar,Iv ror DO hano o1, d,t ~, word
IT'S hcsittin' not lipscttin."
'Dml]drr," replied the corrected, &c
lats so: it's so: but | WIZ prayin' III
To,,,, +o. p,ho ,,s from, do sin oh 'toxica
ton, an ef dat ain't a rDsettin' sin
Dunno
,rho4}s. ,,.r,,,,. ,o+,,.ao,, ,-o, ,,,d c,,,,+ho
+,,.,, ,o,, ao,,,+ ennu1,gu
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,1o,,,,,l or .,o ,.,x,o v.o,,,,e- 1,1,. , o.1a
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r. 1,,,..,,, r+ ,,.+ t,,e hoyr c =
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.s<1,. ,1<.,,. Col1,,,- , tho,,sard co,,,rot,,
1,,n,,,.
.,.r,,,,;.s or.f,l,., w, no,j, ,,roroso
lust week you know. and she accepted
him"
A c,r,,,a, anI I, f,.,Et-t,ar, r,.,.r r,,,;,,
4,,.s5s..r nsfsr,,t,,a1 ,Ia.,s,. recon,
Tnr fr,t.1;niaf.. j. -s.-sss,yss-s -rsr7es7ags
,nts,ai- he iarnlei n small BAY mare.
..,r,H bot.se. of.tsine,'' said the tr7icl
,pau.gtfs5 ssSs cars ofa. and stands sixtcc
hanafs feet. Tottrn
sassst8ffSgfa' bHt little rant WSge
I'VE ''Wan,' said the other. ''she'sonly foul
an if she hadn't been worked 50 confounc
ed hard ever since she was a colt, she
a-bccn six by this tinc.'
l.r,,.. = ,,,.f,, ,oI1o,, e,,,a,,,;ol c,,>;,
''' WV, u'''|' 0'"'''
rs lie met zones on the car the otlier da.
+'Tcrrible, terrible, terrible" "Any
your water pipes froze up?', "Wor
tb,, th,t, >, s.I1ovan T4ol ,hroe h.,rro
:.
lose every one Of them ), uOh M W
WON'T J,st head ,em I'm and send ,em
sona ci,,r;,oh,a ;nst;tut;on and ,o =,
will kuov, but what thew froze while :
route Tt,s q ool,,on onnort,nit~ ro
should NOT NEGLECT ,,-Detro;t E-rse pros
uY,o uooo 80
,,.;o, >ro,,, WI -. 49,.
+o,., h,- ,ou,oro,,1a,,4 ,r,,
,,,oo1 e., o11i,,e 20
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J., ,,'a - a,-.,a,,,,'.,t ' ,,:os >sas
ar t,,oir u.;ras t;,a t7rs+ ,,oar nf n,ar,;.oo
,r,,o pa.ta,,io,, rr,;lad ,othor a,oa,.;,z,
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,,ular 49, e,.. :. .;e, ho J.,
MANY rlnthrs for every nossihlc orrasio,