The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1881-02-24
Loafers of Many Lands.

Burdette, the genial humorist Of the
Burlington Hd,cheye, takes of" the
loungers at railroad stations in the fol-
lowing breezy manner:
/" There is our friend the loafer,"
said the tall thin passenger, as the train
halted at way station can old &C
quaintance, he is, the loafer who is
always at the station, and whose collar
is never the same color or material as
his shirt"
And the loafer, you remember"
said the fat passenger, "who always
wears black frock coat and jeans over
alls, so that you can't tell whether he is
going to dance OF to work"
And the loafer who always, summer
and winter" said the man on the wood
box, wears plush cap with ear flaps,
the string always broken. one ear flap
pulled off and lost, and the other
standing idly out at an angle of forty
eight degrees looks as though the cap
was trying to fly away, but couldn't be-
cause it only worked one side and had
stopped on the center"
Z" And the loafer," said the sad pas
senger, "who always climbs on the
platform of the car, fiattens his dingy
nose against the glass in the door and
stares vacantly in at the passengers
until the brakeman runs over him and
the train starts, when he jumps off like
q wood stove falling downstairs"
"And the loafer," said the fat pas
senger, "who is always holding his
jaws just in suspense over an enormous
quid of tobacco, which he only chew.
at surly intervals, in defiant bull
dogged way; the bully of the station
platform, who often snarls but nevei
strikes any one never shaves and sci
dom washes his face, and the last tim'
his hair was cJmbed was when it wa
cut"
"And the beau of the country sta
tion," said the sad passenger, with tn,
curly hair, combed down close to hi
eyebrows, oiled into reeking glossiness
wears his hat away back on his head
and tangles himself up in brillian
comforter twenty feet long, with th
ends dangling in careless grace dow
his back"
"Aud the loafer with the clums
+ boots" said the cross passenger, "wh
: is always dancing fearful and wor
derful clog of two steps, with naturG
{ grace that nearly scares the engine o
, the track"
"And the shabby genteel loafer,
said the bashful passenger, "who veal
the suit he was married in, has an apo
orotic look about him, always tries
, look as though he was going som,
where, keeps his coat buttoned an
pinned close up to his throat, and is d,
voured by sneaking envy of the loaf'
with the curly hair"
"And the loafer," said the fat pa
! senger, "who always goes in his shi
: sleeves, even in the coldest weather; Q
overshirt, maybe, belted in at the wal
is his only ulster; broad-shouldere
with narrow hips, straight legs and clos
; fitting boots we'll built, athletic fe
low, and he knows it and so desires
show off his figure. Doesn't like
waste his strength in too much wol
Q and likes to exhibit himself when Il
, train comes in"
; "This loafer," said the sad passc
t ger, "always looks best in his workil
clothes. He moves in them freely Al
naturally. The awe inspiring tit of
fourteen dollar suit Of store clothes d
stroys his shape; the coat is always tt
l narrow for his broad shoulders al
4 flares out at the hips, owing to his Su
: day habit of carrying apples in Il
g pockets thereof to church, OF peanuts
g the girl he loves. His store pantaloo
are always too short and are cut pc
e fectly straight at the ankles, as thous
the legs had been sawed off with
Il cross-cut saw. His good clothes alwa
S destroy his natural good looks and 4
n velop in q thrilling and superlative d
d gree all his unnatural and amazing aw
g wardness, giving him lunches who
4 erst he had joints"