The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1881-04-20
TABLE GOSSIP.

The greatest Washers usually turn out
the smallest potatoes.
A Dutchman, describing a pair-of horses.
said: "Dey was exactly alike, especially
der off one"
George Eliot once wrote: Has anyone
ever pinched into its pilulous smallness the
cobweb of prematrimOnial acquaintance
shipY' If anyone has, please write.
He was lond talker, but in the opinion
of the girls, very soft" Saucy Bessie who
didn't care called him 'Mr Pianoforte. -
because he was so loud and so soft.
On the I'D, within twelve hours. Saturn
will be in Injunction with the sun; Jupiter
and Saturn VIII be in close conjunction, and
tlen there Will be a monkey-and-parrot of a
time all around. But, by the way, where
do we come in on this celestial circus?
Old L-ady-"Oh, Mr.. Tackles, you've
stuffed my parrot very badly Ali the
feathers are coming out already Taxider-
mist-"Why, Lor' bless you, Mum, that's
the perfection % stuffin'! You know the
moulin seasons now comm on, Mum. "
A young wife lately lost her husband,
who was about seventy years old But
| how did you ever happen TO marry man of
that age?" asked oneof her friends. "Why."
said the young widow, you see 1 only had
the choice between two old men, and. of
course, took the Oldest"
The jury system, like piece of brocade.
has Its right side, where the colors all blend
beautifully, and its wrong side. where the
| threads hang loose. a Welsh Jury, after de-
liberating about a horse theft brought in n
verdict of Guilty, with some little doubtas
to whether the prisoner is the right man."
The long hair of lady of Pine Valley be.
came wound around her neck in her sleeu
so tightly that, bad help not been at hand
she would have sutfocated in few moments
This is the disadvantage of wearing hair
that can't be hung over the back Of a chair
| at night. Nature doesn't always get what
the poet calls the bulge on art
AT the recent opening of the Nevada Leg.
| islature an Eastern minister was invited to
perform the religious service. He accepted
| the call and closed the ceremony with the
| Lords Prayer When he had finished State
Senator Doolan turned to Senator Ham.
mond and remarked, audibly: "He stole
that prayer, and I'll bet on IT. / heard il
almost word for word in Eureka at funeral
over tenyears ago. "-Sacrame nto (Cal.) Star
A child taken i'll, is presented by consid
crate aunt with several fine oranges, one OF
which she began to devour with every man.
Hesitation of delight. "And what do you
say to kind auntie, who brought you the
| beautiful oranges" inquiries grandma, anx
| ious TO call out the latent politeness in the
child's character she may bring me some
more when these are gone" responded the
| child, her face shining with satisfaction and
orange juice.
In swallowing Malone, the Republican
party, like the whale that swallowed Jonah
has bit of more thanit could chew.-BuffalC
Courier. The whale didn't bite Jonah, i
bolted him whole, and he was far safer il
the belly of the whale than he was when OF
board the crazy old ship that carried him.
| New York Commercial Advertiser WHY
don't you tell the whole story? Jonah wa
chucked overheard because he had repudi
ated the true faith, and his presence OF
| board the ship was calamity. The whal,
endured him as long as possible, but he wa
too nauseating morsel, and the whale wa
glad to spew him forth.
An Englishman of some note dined with
Boston family one day, anda pet boy wa
much interested in watching him and listen
| ing to his conversation. After dinner thu
guest took him on his knee with the remark
II hear that you know a great many Ian
guages; tell me how many you know" "Oh
| know French and German and Italian anC
Spanish, and that's ALL" "Don't you know
English" asked the visitor "No, l dom
know English" he answered, with verl
positive shake of the head. "Yes, you do
certainly" persisted the Englishman. Z"
tell you do not" replied the child, almos
impatiently, very emphatically. my pap
knows English, l s'pOse, but | only know
two words in English" "And what ar,
theyr' "'Ouse and 'orse. Boston Journal