Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1881-03-04
A Ioks On Eoyt.

n
Mr.. E. Hoyt of Fond du Lac made a
visit to Chicago the other day, and while
there paid visit to some friends at the
Rush medical college, who were engaged
IN the dissecting room. Evidently the
students thought Mr.. Hoyt was rather
fresh, at any rate as he passed round
among the slabs where they were at work,
each made n contribution from the corpse
he was at work on to Mr.. Hoyt's coat
pocbets, unbeknown to him. While one
was calling his attention to limb he was
lissecting, another would cut off an ear,
or finger. or toe, or nose, or dig out
an eve, and drop the same into Mr.. Hoyts
overcoat pockets. Finally he bid the
bows good bye, thanked them for their
courtesies in showing him around, told
them if they ever came to Fon du Lac
his pew in church was at their disposal,
and he skipped for the train and got on
board The seats we've all occupied, and
a middle-aged lady, with slim face and
spectacles, and evidently an old maid,
allowed him to sit beside her. The car
was warm, and it was not long before the
remains" began TO be heard from. He
was talking to the lady when he smelled
something. The lady had been smelling
it for some miles back, and she had got
her eve on Mr.. Hoyt, and put her hank
kerchief to her nose. He took a long
breath and said to the lady: "The air
seems sort of fixed here in the car, does
it not?" and he looked up at the tran
som. Yes" said the lady, as she turned
pale. and asked him to let her out Of the
seat. '.it is very much fixed, and l believe
-, hot txa.1 : ~ or1 sl,a
took her satchel and went to the rear end
of the car, where she glared at him as
though he was fat-rending establish
ment. Mr. Hoyt was quiet few min
utes, then his attention was called TO
new married couple in the seat ahead of
him. They had been having their heads
close together, when suddenly the bride
said ''Hennery, have you been drink
ing?" He vowed by all that was great
and glorious that he had not, when she
told him thet there was something about
his breath that reminded her OF strong
drink or packing house. He allowed
that it was not him, but admitted that he
had noticed there was something wrong,
though he didn't know but it was some
of her teeth needed filling. They were
both mad at the insinuations of the other,
and the bride leaned on the window and
cried, while the groom looked the other
wav and acted cross. Mr.. Hoyt was very
much annoyed at the smell, and made up
his mind it was his duty to speak to the
groom about it. So he introduced him
self and told the groom he ought to do
something to cure those feet of his. Ths
groom looked at him Indignantly, but Mr.
Hovt continued you NAV think it
will wear off but il won't. | knew a man
in Fond du Lac whose feet perspired as
bad as yours, and it was almost impossi-
ble to stay in a room with him. He had
to sleep with his feet out the window, and
the neighbors complained to the health
officers. One day he" At this point
the bridegroom called his wife, and they
Indignantly left the car Mr.. Hoyt was
annoyed The smell remained, and peo-
pie all around him got up and went to the
forward end OF the car, or to the rear,
and there were dozen empty seats when
the conductor came in, and lots Of peo-
pie standing mp. The conductor got one
sniff and said: "Whoever has that piece
of Limberger cheese in his pocket will
have to go into the emigrant car. They
all looked at Hoyt, and the conductor
went up to him and asked if lie didn't
know any better than to carry around
such cheese as that. Hoyt said he hadn I
got no cheese. The conductor insisted
that he had, and told him to turn hii
pockets wrong side out. Hoyt jabbed III:
hands into his pockets and felt something
cold and c,Smmy. He drew his hands on
empty, turned pale, and said he didn'
have any cheese. The conductor insisted
on his feeling again, and he brought t.
the surface couple of human ears, 1
I' go aui a thumb. What in the nam'
ui the apostles have you got there ?" say
the conductor ''Do you belong to an
establishment TINT sends canned mission
ary to the heathen cannibals?' Hoy
told the conductor to come into the bag
gage car and he would explain all, and n
he passed by the passengers with hotl
hands full Of the remains. the passen
gers were ready TO lynch Hoyt. He tol'
the conductor where lie had been and TN
boys had played il on him, and the lin
gers and things were thrown beside tn
track where some one will find them an,
think murder has been committed
Afterwards Hoyt went into the car an
tried to apologize to the old maid, but sl
said if he didn't go away from her sh
would scream. Iloyt would always rathe
20 away than have n woman scream. ii
is trying to think Of some way to "a
even with the boys at Rush medical co
lege-PcckS SIM.