The sun., 1881-01-30
Shall He Ask Her to Marry Hint

Shall He Ask Her to Marry Hint
Whether 1t Is worth mans while to ask
a woman of whom he is enamored to marry
him, is really question he ought to be able
to settle for himself. II he is talking Of
| buying horse, the advice ofa disinterested
| friend who Is q good judge OF horseiiesh
| may prove valuable to him In selecting n
| sound animal. But when it comes to select
| ing wife, the case is very different The
advice Of all his friends may prove quite
| useless to him.
Tho horse he proposes to buy is not
party to tho bargain. 1t is unable to ex-
press its opinion Of him, and it cannot indi-
cato whether it prefers him or another man
| for purchaser. The feelings OF the horse
are not consulted in the matter. But what
| are the feelings toward him Of the woman
he would marry, it is his business to learn
before he asks her to be his wife. 1t is her
judgment he must consult, not other pco-
pies; for they may express the soundest OF
! opinions, and yet she will throw them all
away as worthless aud impertinent.
man courts n woman to little purpose IL
| he does not get indications OF her feelings
toward him before she has made explicit
confession OF them in answer to the mo-
mcntous question. But there are men who
cannot muster up courage to meet their fate
because they are not sure what it is going to
be. They are afraid of possible rejection.
Such fellows, il they are married at all,
arc apt to be married to women who take
tho business OF courting of their hands, and
settle for them the question they are too
timid themselves to decide.
Ono OF these doubtful, timorous swains
writes in this wise to THE Sun for advice:
SIR For several weeks have known JocAsrA; she is
gentle OF the most delightful presence, handsome
witty, and accomplished She plays well upon the piano.
sings with some e egance. and speaks French with
great degree OF uency have treated her TO the sights
the town. to the play several times to the opera once
and the hddles at MI DELsoSicos restaurant But
she Is still cold and repulses all
modest advances
| For some time past have entertained the idea OF
asking her tobe my wife lam gentleman possessed OF
good estate and would gladly offer to Joc.srl did
she but give little encouragement; but knowing her
be beauty Of the most approved sort who
horses. charots, and large income. have hesitacd
rather than be rebuned In my adventure. There are
great number OF gentlemen who posse sscd Of arger
income and better than and knowing JocAsrA
to be Of an ambitious mind, have hcsated to propose
the momentous question to her and now, being
tleman of good birth and condition. and handsome es-
tate ask you give your advice to whether II is
worth while to ask this lady TO be the wife Of
your most humble, obedent servant CAssIRo
"P s-JOcAsTA is one of the most beautiful Of her
charming Her complexion is OF dazzling white.
where the OF her checks contradict the pre-
yaiing pallor Of her skin Her ike socs and
her hair Of the color Of the ravens wing Her face is
and perfect oval and for her orm-but will not
, undertake to describe it"
: From the style OF our correspondent g
letter we Judge him to be a man Of affccta-
= tons, and very silly affectations, which are
not likely to command the respect OF
= JocAsTA, if she is sensible woman, worth
the winning as wife. An affected man is
} apt to make himself ridiculous in tho eyes
, OF a maiden, and so to spoil all his chances
, OF gaining her afIectionate regard.
In the first place, there Is no justification
for talking of gentlewomen in this country
, Tho term is one which the silly purists OF
the EreninO Post may use, but 1t is snob-
3 bish importation belonging to en- aristo-
5 cratic society not natural to us.
What does our correspondent and what
does the Ecenin1 Post mean by gentle
= woman? In England it has very definite
meaning, where n gentlewoman is woman
: born OF the gentry or married into a family
D of the gentry, so called; and it is applied tC
!, none other. 1t is decidedly more restricted
) in its Specification than the term gentleman
4 except when that is used in legal docu
e ments. Gentleman has become, In this
G country certainly, a general term, ane
r every man who wears good clothes is prim0
n facie gentleman. Whether man has tht
8 qualities which distinguish the ideal gen.
8 tlcman is another question: and only those
Y who know him intimately are capable o
= deciding it. And tho general feminine tern
o which corresponds to gentleman Is lady
II with us. 1t means little or nothing definite
h like the masculine term. 1t can be used very
a indiscrminately and no one is deceived.
: Gcntlewoman, however, has narrower
! Specification, and it does not belong in a re
o publican democracy. Neither, for that mat
n ter, should tho terms gentleman and lady
o DO used here as freely as they are now
t Plain man and woman are better, and il tho
l. individuals to whom they are applied have
,, distinguishing qualities thoy can be indi
t Gated. II people do not like the term lady
t they do not better things ut all by talking
It OF a gentlewoman. They only resort to al
: aiIectation, and introduce term foreign /,
s our society.
e If this beautiful and accomplished young
q woman, JoCAsTA, is engaged in making al
n inventory OF the possessions OF her swains
= In order to decide which OF them she shal
: take, and with view to getting tho richest
u We advise our correspondent to Withdraw
q from the number OF her suitors. Before do
d ing so. however, he will consult the dictates
i OF good taste and good sense by omitting t,
n talk about his estate" " and his birth anC
y condition." either to her or to anybody else
y We hope for his sake that his progenItorl
1t were honest people, and that they laic
I. something by for his benefit; but it is fa
h more important that he himself should b,
It honest and capable of supporting wife
l. The American stock came almost entirely
l. from the ycomanry and the poorer people o
% Europe, and such terms us our correspondent
n uses do not apply to thnir descendants.