Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1881-08-10

they support have the highest reputa
tion for integrity, knowledge, candol
and honor.
FACTS CONCERNING JAY
GOULD.
The other morning while Mr. Cole
the proprietor of the coming circus and
menagerie of that name, was picking
his teeth on the steps of the Russ
House, tall sun-burned, bald-headed
man, with pine burrs in his clothes and
a stick of sassafras in his mouth, ap
preached and said:
BE you the wild animal man, mis-
ter p
The proprietor of the Double Nam
moth Mastodon Aggregation" admitted
that such was the fact.
Then, proceeded the party from the
mountains, II think I'll get you to
make an offer for large sized healthy
Californy lion I've got"
Good specimen, eh p asked the cir
Gus man.
Good ? Well | should say so. Meas
ures eleven feet from the tip of his nose
to the tip of his tail Caught him my
self when cub. just four years old
tomorrow.
'Hum-good appetizer
Appetite ?-Great Scott-appetite
Well, | should smile-that's just the
point-that's just why Pm parting
with jay call him Jay Gould be-
cause he takes everything in. If it
wasn't for his appetite, and the queer
little things it makes him do, | would
MT part with Gould for fortune.
Savage, eh?
We'll, no; l don't know as / could
call Jay savage, cxactly-sorter nib
bish though, may be- Has kinder
habit of gnawing up things, SO to speak.
In fact the neighbors-I live up at
Bladder's Peak-have gotten to be SO
fussy and particular of late that l can't
so much as unchain j. G. for a little
fresh air without their getting grumpy
over it p
There's no pleasing some people,
said the hippodromer.
4 should say not. Now, f'rinstance,
bout three months after Jay got to be
as big as boarding house sofa, came
home one day from picnic and found
he had eaten up old Aunt Maria, who
had been left at home to mind the
house-leastwise she was nowhere to
be found; and as Jay Gould seemed
sorter bulgy like, and kept coughing
up hairpins and false teeth for day or
two, we kinder suspiconed the whole
thing
Maternal aunt p inquired the show
man thoughtfully.
Exactly. My wife took on dread
fully at first, and wanted me to shoot
Jay right off, But told her that he
probably suffered a good deal as it was
and that as most likely he'd catch
rheumatism and things from the re-
mains, we'd better call it square,
And did she p
We'll, she kinder got reconciled after
awhile, especially as Jay seemed fond
of playing with the children. One
morning soon after that my wifc's
mother-whole family lived with me,
you see-didn't come down to break
fast. AS oil her false hair was hang
ing over a chair back, and Gould crawl
ed out from under the bed licking his
chops, and with his tongue a good deal
coated-mother-in-law was always TAX
ing things for the liver complaint-we
saw at once it was another visitation
of Providence, and that the heavy hand
of affliction was again upon u.s.
Looked that way, didn't it 2
We'll, as you may suppose. the old
lady-that's my wife-pranced around
a good deal then, and got down the
breech-loader right away. But just
then there arrived gold medal from
the S. p. c. A. society, awarded on
account of my forbearance in the Aunt
Maria business, and so | got her calm
ed down after awhile
'Pacifed her, eh p
Yes, | managed to arrange a re-
prieve for Jay, somehow. You see /
was always awful fond of pets and ten
der hearted and all that, you under
stand. / argued that the poor animal
didn't know that he was doing wrong
-merciful man is merciful to his beast,
etc, etc. That smoothed things over
for another MONTH
What happened then?'
We'll, one day L sent Tommy, our
youngest boy, down to the store for
some sugar, and he took Gould along
for company Now, whether it was
because Jay was fond of sugar or not
| don't know, but he came home alone,
and as soon as we noticed kind of
bulge on his ribs, about as big as Tom
my, we concluded that the dread archer
had marked another Skidmore-my
name is Skidmore-for his own. The
whole family took on like mad, and
Mrs. Skidmore was about to shove the
powder keg under J. G. and touch it
off herself, when pointed out that it
wouldn't do to desecrate our offspring's
tomb in that way. So just had the
burial service read over the lion and
tied Grape around his neck for thirty
days. How does that strike your
After that you kept that animal
chained