The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1881-03-26
WIT AND HUMoR.

Her ascent to the top of the area steps
to meet the Well, we won't say
who.
Little maid of W. years: Mamma,
l have just been reading that in Naples
girls get married when they are only
thirteen. Do let us go to Naplesr'
The Boston Journal Of Commerce
publishes a lot of dyeing receipts; but
none of them beat the old way of fool
ing with an empty shotgun.
Shakespeare foresaw that oleomargar-
me would some day be used as a term
of reproach when he wrote: ''Oh, thou
mechanical salt butter-man."
A new design in g~entlemen's scarf
pins is a railway employees lantern,
the green. red, or white light being
represented by an emerald, a ruby, or
a diamond.
Hear it, We henpeckedi-A devoted
better-haif, who has it all her own way,
says that a good matrimonial firm is
one that consists of three-quarters wife
and one-quarter husband.
A returned Australian found the baby
he left at home a miss of five summers.
One day he offended her, and she fret
fully exclaimed: II wish YOU had
never married into the family
II say. ma" exclaimed a little mink
of ID, .'do you know what the pyrotech-
meal remedy is for a crying babyPn
Goodness, gracious me-, mol l never
heard of such a thing" .'Well, ma,
it's a rocket"
A village pedagogue, in despair with
a stupid boy, pointed out the letter A,
and asked him if he knew it. Eyes,
SIR" .'Well, what is itP" II know
him by sight, but hang me if l a re-
member his name.n
Never say hat you have heard before
what your friend has evidently taken
great pleasure in telling you. His de-
light at finding You equally well inform
ed with himself may not be so great as
you imagined.
.Do you pretend to have as good
judgment as l havePn exclaimed an en-
ragged wife to her husband. ".Well, no.
he replied slowly; .sour choice of part
ners for life shows that my judgment is
not to be compared to yours.
Miss Made-up Old Girl: Eyes, l love
the old oak; it is associated with so
many hours spent beneath its shade.
1t carries me back to my childhood,
when-when-' Young Poodle
..When you-er-planted it,"
1t always sounds pretty to say: .'The
sun had sunk beneath the western
horizon but a moments reflection
shows that it is about the only horizon
he could sink beneath under the cir
cumstances. When he feels like sink
ing he always selects the western
horizon.
Childhood's Innocence-Somebody
gave little Augustus two toys. II will
give this one to my dear little sister,
he said, showing the largest. Because
1t is the prettiestp" said the delighted
mamma. NO." he replied, without
hesitation; because it's broken"
A young lady surprised the gentle
manly clerk by handing him 80 cents
in payment for a dollar purchase. at
amounts to a dollar if you please"
said the gentlemanly clerk. Il know
it does" was the reply, ''but papa is
only paying so cents on the dollar now"
''In pursuing my theme, 1 should
like to v more ground, but"
buy shoes big enough for your feet
and you'll do it." was the impudent
suggestion from the crowd, and tho
orator adjourned his remarks until n
more refined audience could be present,
Two young Philadelphians recently
appeared in gowns which looked as If
woven from sunlight and moolight.
One was of cream brocade wrought
with gold thread, and was made with a
box-plaited train and a baby front M
broidered in gold and pearls; and the
Of silver cloth with front and
side breadths of white satin, embroider-
ed ia white chenille and pearls.