Connecticut western news., 1881-06-08

policeman it is supposed he has taste for club life.
 GOVERNMENT cannot make law 1t can only pronounce that which was the law before Its organization namely, the moral result of the imperishable rela- tions of things. gs.--Sheltey. #-.
 ROUND dealing is the honor of mans nature, and a mixture of falsehood IS like alloy in gold and silver, which may make the metal work the better, but it embaseth it.-Lord Bacon.
 NOTHING so increases reverence for others as great sorrow to ones self. It teaches one the depths of human na. ture. In happiness we are shallow and deem others so.-Charles BtIton.
 To DO WRONG is to inhict the surest injury on our own peace. No enemy can do us equal harm with what we do ourselves whenever and however we vio- late any moral or religious obligation Channing.
 THE gospel is not simply philosophy of religion or law of life, but it is an apocalypse, showing the heavens to our thought, and so bringing it's spiritual benedictons to every heart and life.- ReU. Dr. R. s. ,Storrs.
 WHILE an old farmer in Connecticut was fogging one of hls graceless sons, @ pumpkin headed fellow about eighteen, an idea all of sudden entered the head of young Jonathan, and he. sung out, "Stop dad-let's argue"
 [" MOTHER sent me-" said a.little girl to neighbor, to ask you to come and take cup of tea with her this evening"" "Did she say at what time, my dear ?" "No, ma'am; she only said she would ask you, and then the thing would be off her mind. That was all she said"
 A GENTLEMAN under the influence of spring evening, moonshine and other romantic surroundings was led to ask pretty but somewhat strong-minded young lady to crow in the same boat with him for life." "On one condition," she answered promptly, "and that is-I steer"
 A YOUNG lady became so much dis satisfied with a gentleman to whom she was engaged to be married that she dis missed him. In revenge he threatened to publish her letters to him. "Very we'll, replied the lady. CT have no req son to be ashamed of any part of my letters, except the address,
 A CERTAIN lady had custom of saying to favorite dog, to. make him follow her, "Come along, sir" A would-be witty gentleman stepped up to her one day and accosted her with, "Is it me 1 madam, you called?" "Oh, no, sir," said she with great composure, it was another puppy spoke to-"
 AN oHD gentleman accused his servant, among other thefts, of having stolen his stick. The servant protested perfect innocence. Why, you know" re- joined the complainant, "that the stick could never have walked off with itself" Certainly not" said the attorney for the defense, "unless it was walking stick"
 AYoUNa man, who is college gradu- ate, and who hoots most of the follies of the day, is still so superstitious on one point that he is & slave to his singular whim. He will not pass up the same side of the street on which creditor of his is coming down. He says he never has good luck if he-sees creditor over his left shoulder or meets one face to face.
 THE schoolboy is told by his loved teacher that common coal and diamonds are of exactly the same material. Gen. orally the loving small boy doesn't be- lieve this statement of his loved teacher, but when he grows up and has to pay for the coal during hard winter, he realizes that coal is not only similar to diamonds in composition, but in price as we'll.
 A SMALL boy in Newburyport, Mass, was promised a half-dollar by an elder sister if he would give away worthless pup he had picked up somewhere. The small boy gleefully consented and pock- eted the money. When evening came the sister asked to whom he had given the dog, and was told with charming naivete, "Oh, I've given him to broth er."
 A COLLEGE professor, who was very rigid as to grammar, suspecting that a surreptitious game of cards was going on in one of the college rooms, knocked at the door. "Who's there?" was the response. "It's me-Prof. Simpson," was the reply. "You lie," roared one of the students "Prof Simpson never'd say 1t is me ? He'd said 1t is I ; so you be off or I'll break your head p The professor saw the boys had him and quietly left.
 AN anxious father, of the yellow plush school, once wrote the following letter to boarding. school mistress |" As had good medication miself ham in tirely ashamed for to see the shameful manner in which my Lucy has been bit by the feas, and it is my desire for her to sleep in the bed she used to do, and not for her to sleep sumtimes in one bed and then in another, for to feed all the fieas in the house, for think it is not write-peither shall she do it"
 A FANTAsIE.
 The roofer got the pitch.
 The doorkeeper tried the key,
 The bellman gave his chord hitch,