Smyrna times. [volume] (Smyrna, Del.) 1854-1987, 1881-05-11
WHOLE NO. l,S49.
Current Comment.
PHILADELPHIA EVENING NEWS.

manly OF fools. His books sold rapidly
These arc delightful mornings for tho oor,,,
rlser-ALcgany Mail No fires to buia Obj
Inc reason Byron hated dumpy woman
was that he couldn't bear to see good thing
cut short. . '"H
Inc oid-tashioned poke bonnets will seriousIv
interfere with the old-fashionedo kissing e,o,roo
at picnics e games
nature did not intend men to become dou-
catchers, or she never would have made 90
many bow-legge6
A proud Wilmington man Indignantly re.
fuses to be called professor and insists unon
MS right to the title of Mr..
Astronomer Proctor saws the world will loo,
co'ooV'OOo years yet This must be very COM
forting to Tilden and Susan B. Anthonv
Six hundred tourist left New York for En-
rope on Saturday, taking with them more
money than 5000 immigrants will bring
1t begins to look as if in a large portion of
Europe there would soon be only two classes
the nobility and the departing emigrants.
DO not delay your gardening any longer.
Lay IN good stock Of liniment. arnica and
poor mans plaster, and begin while the ground
is soft
LORD Beaconsfold never wore any but pat
ent leather shoes, and yet many man who
never wore anything but programs had fewer
corns
Lief, the Norseman who discovered New
England, Is TO have a monument in Boston
Just as soon as a suitable beanstalk can be
found.
Poor New York! Not only does John Kelly
still hold his own and the streets remain IN.
cleaned, but another pedestrian match is to be
started.
DR. Hammond declares that American wo-
men smoke. DR.. Hammond needs looking
after His female acquaintance are evidently
not of the right sort
A West Chester man mourns the loss Of a
hen that has been member of his family for
| twenty years and died just as she was getting
fat enough TO be sent to marker.
Singular as it may seem, the dog shows in
the city are better patrOnized by the ladies Of
this city than baby shOws.-N. j. Telcgran.
Dogs are fashionable; babies are not.
The lumber trade is brisk and prices are
way up.-Rartford Post. And strange to say
even in the country where there is plenty Of
| lumber they charge the most for board.
The duke of Sutherland has come all the
way to America to learn how railroad can
be operated without having all the passengers
rush out at every station to look after their
| trunks.
| Crying ut Weddings has gone out of fashion.
Smiling is the thing now, and the bride be-
gins her new life by showing her teeth at the
altar instead of waiting until after the honey
moon.
| Among the lost arts appears to be that of
cooking properly plain mutton chop.-N ].
Nail One by one the cooks are dying of old
age, but let US not despair-we have decors-
| tive artists left.
| When a lady receives a visit from man
ought she to rise or remain seated when her
| visitor enters or when he takes his leave
French Journal. If she is old or ugly she can
remain seated. All others are expected to
rise
Josh Billings says: 1.-THE best time to set
hen il when the hen il ready" There is a
world of wisdom contained in that short sem
tence.-Chester Times. How long did You
work with that hen before coming to that con-
clusion?
| A New York clergyman has an elaborate
new bonnet placed on the pulpit before him
every Sunday He's going to make the ladies
of his congregation keep up an appearance of
giving attention to him, anyway.-BostOn Post.
An ingenious mathematician has figured out
the size of heaven He says there is room for
ten per cent of the worlds inhabitants there.
This is very bad. We don't see what is to be-
come of the general public after all the news
paper men get their passes.
A Philadelphia lady swallowed a needle
when she was q little girl and after all these
years the needle has just been discovered pro-
truding from the grass-grown grave of her
great grandmother If the Louisville papers
can beat that we will try again.
Kelley's Island, Ohio, MARCH 18th, 1880.
have used your Kendalrs SPAWN Cure on
bone SPAWN and am pleased to report that it
has taken the enlargement completely of. 1t
took only one bottle to perform the cure.
am confident if it is properly used it viii do oil
you claim for it. Yours truly, C. NJ. Lincoln.