Arizona weekly citizen., 1881-04-17
Fly Poison.

One would scarcely expect much 'humor in the lugubrious subject ot fly
 poison or it's vendors, but, as in the case of little Johnnie, you can't sometimes exactly tell" There is gay and festive fly-poison merchant now gong the rounds of our city, en- gagged in selling to guileless house.
 wives a certain infsllible fly poison,
 warranted 10 kill at 40 rods, with an
 open field and fair play. This gen.
 utman called at house in the east
 eru portion of town the other day,
 and, sunmoning the lady of the man
 sion, informed her that he wBs the
 sole proprietor and vendeT of certain
 fly poison which it was altogether
 necessary that she should have; that
 he had met her husband down town
 who had directed him to the house
 with the assurance that his wife
 would take ct least one bottle; and
 that the lady of the house immediate
 ly Co he west had taken two bottles
 on sight and regretted her inability 10
 lay in a larger supply. have but
 a few bottles of this invaluable prep
 arEtion left, madam" said the mer-
 chant, !" and as l am anxious to dis
 pose of tue stock on hand so as to
 leave immediately for the East on i'm
 poIiant business l will let you have
 bottle for dollar and a half" The
 lady had been closely observing the
 man, aLd not liking the appearance
 ol things and not wanting any poison
 in " her'n," quietly remarked that
 she hadn't the desired amount of
 funds and regretted 10 she would have
 to deny herself of the poison. " Well,
 now, really, madam, replies the
 merchant, {" that is too bad, but
 since you so much desire and need
 my preparation l will make a gallant sacrifice and let you have a bottle for one dollar, but please don't make the transaction public" Again the lady
 informed him of a deficiency of lucre Go the required amount. With the
 blandest of smiles and self sacrificing
 benignIty, the fly Ioisoner expressed hearl-felts sympathy over the ladY's depleted eXchequer, and told her that rather than see her go through the summer Of discOntent without any fly poison he felt that he could let her have a bottle for fifiy cents. The lady seeing that a crisis was approaching, and that the sooner bedrock was reached the better it would be for both parties, plainly informed the man that she had nothing in the house in the way of cash but tive-cent piece in Mexican money. The meT- chant turned away a moment with almost a sob, but his gallsntTy and spirit got the best Oi him, and quickly recovering him. self he turns once more tO the mistress of the manor and says Madam, cannot leave you m your want, un- provided with this great preparation; here, l can ill afford the sacrifice, but for this once you shall have bottle for five cents" Whereupon the lady said she would go and look fer the desired coin, and stepped into an ad- jmaing room, whence, after suitable delay, she returned: and told the fly man that she regretted to say the five cents had mysteriously disappeared, and that she must forego the delect- able poison. At this stage, the fly | man, evidently seeing that his in- tended victim was "fly,' smiled a knowing smile, and remarklng that he guessed the .ady didn't want any l .ly poison, took his departure. The | moral of all of which is that if the l poison Is as remarkable in its effects | 4s was the tumble in price astonlsh- ng, It's proprietor has a mighty sure | hing for fortune.