The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1881-05-13
A FEW HITcHES.
Dirfcuities Amending . Long Island
Funeral.

Funeral.
q brooklyn Eagle. eth
ado you print Long Island news In this
yere paperp" asked solemn-looking man Of
manifsstly agricultural proclivities, timidly
approaching the city editor ofthe Eagle.
ave do when we can get At 1t. What do
you want?" ...
aYou see live out here piece beyond
Jamaica, and the other day some Of the neigh
bors gut up funeral to pass away the after
noon, and went to It. Thought perhaps
you'd like to say something about 1t in your
paper"
aAnything peculiar about it?"
aNo, can't say that there was. There
was little bitches here and there, but we
pulled her through all right. You see the
corpse was our only clergyman, and we did
not have another parson to preach over him,
so we had to make 1t q popular funer'l and
all hands take shy at It. The proceedings
were very interesting"
aThat's novel kind Of performance"
unused the city editor; "what did you all
do?"
"Hem! we'll, the sisters brought some wax
flowers, because the natural ones haven't
sprouted yet, and they fixed him up in pref
ty good shape. Then we held meeting and
appointed committee on prayers, and .
committee on hymns, and committee on
speeches, and an executive committee, and 1t
was through them committees that we had
the bitches. When the funer'l came of the
presiding officer called for report from the
committee on prayers, and Judge Waller pre-
scented the report, which was very fine ef-
fort, and called forth considerable enthusi-
asm, until the constable presented minori-
ty prayer and demanded vote on its adop-
ton. The Judge made an able speech In de-
Tense Of his prayer, and went for the consta-
BILE, because at the last election he had made
certain pledges which he hadn't kept. The
constable said that had nothing to do with 1t.
The question was, which prayer would do
the greatest good TO the biggest number, and
he submitted that his report knocked the
hind sights of the Judges, and was some
thing the community had reason to be proud
of. Lawyer Screen, one Of the minority,
quoted several decisions in favor Of the
prayer, and concluded by saying that Judge
Waller had drawn upon himself the condem.
nation Of the township by the position he
px~I t.Lac Ia, the n<,lau assanlf and haiti ry
case. Things was getting pretty warm, and
I moved to lay the whole question on the
table, which was carried by 104 to IT,"
$50 you didn't have any prayer ?"
"Didnt have any prayer. Then the Pres.
ident called for the report Of the COMMITTEES
on hymns. Mr.. sampson raised the point Of
order that tho organization Of the the funerl
was only temporary, and said that the exec
utiye committee had . list Of officers they
wished to present for the permanent organi-
zation. The President ruled him out Of or
der, as he was too late. Having gone Into
the funer'l, be must abide by the organiza-
ton Is 1t was. Mr.. Samson got angry, and
asked his friends to follow him to the school
house, and about forty Of 'em went"
"Bolted, Ell p"
"Bolted, and organized In the school-house.
The regulars went ahead, but 1t was found
that the committee on hymns had joined the
boilers, and, on motion Of Colonel Sample, q
special committee Of three was appointed.
While they were hunting up something ap.
propriate, the President introduced General
Warner, Of Quogue, who discussed the tariff
question with marked ability, and then Mr.
Phoenix, OF Babylon, who urged reorgani.
zation Of the Democracy with . view TO q
solid front IN 1884. By that time IL was get.
ting late, and the committee was called in
but they couldn't agree on hymn, and wert
discharged. Imoved that we sing Sweet b,
and By Judge Waller offered an amend.
ment striking that out and substituting 'Whal
Shall the Harvest BeT Then I went fol
that Judge, and suggested that his harvest
would be hemp. A motion was made olay
both hymns on the table, and that was car
ried.n A% -
$50 you had no hymn ?"
+ "Had no hymn. We could hear the bolt
ers singing John Browns Body over In thu
school house, and see they were getting
ahead Of us, and 80 asked that the Commit
tee on speeches be ordered TO report. Mr.
Kelly, the Chairman, said they had preparef
and agreed upon five speeches, which woalt
take three hours to read, but they would set
tie the status Of the deceased and 1t the SAM
time show that the debt OF the country has
been reduced 40 per cent. under Republic
can Administration. On motion, leave wa
given to print the speeches, and the readinl
was dispensed with"
$50 you had no speeches?"
"Had no speeches bearing directly on tn
corpse. OF course we had debates. Well
sir, I moved that We adjourn to the grave, an,
bury the lamented, ana that was carried
When we got there we found the bolten ha'
popped in ahead Of us, and had organizes
their outdoor meeting, with Mr.. Samson
- Chairman, and Mr.. Ely Is Secretary, an
an executive committee Of five. They told u
that the Offices OF Vice-President and Treas
urcr and . representation Of two on the com
mittee had been left open for us, and "
could come in or there would be no funer'
Then we had Fem. Lawyer Screen drew u
IN injunction restraining the boilers fror
interfering, and Judge Waller signed 4
That busted the sore heads, and we droppe'
the body into the grave"
sis that the end Of it?"