The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1881-10-13
Have Cows Front Teeth In Their Up
per JaWs1

Il
the other. II jackson street man, if COWS
had any front teeth ON their upper jaw.
The jackson street man was a little
astonished at the question, as there had
been nothing said about COWS, but re-
piled promptly:
"Why, of course they have front
teeth on their upper jaw; how could
they bite of grass if they hadn'tP'
The Van Buren street man said it was
not question of logic, but question
of fact; and if the jackson street man
did not know whether COWS had front
teeth on the upper jaw or not, he ought
to say so. "I did not ask you for your
opinion" he saidi 81 asked If you
knew"
The jackson street man was a little
nettled at this. and replied with some
warmth. He said if he had child
three years old who would ask such q
question as that he should be afraid the
child was an idiot.
"You wouldp'
al certainly should"
"Then," said the Van Buren, street
man, "as it is such simple question,
of course you can tell me whether COWS
have got front teeth on their upper Jaws
or whether they have not"
"Why, of course they have"
1hey nave, ehF'
Yes"
"rn bet you ten dollars they
haven't" said the Van Buren, street
citizen, pulling out roll of bills, and
peeling off a couple of fives and shaking
them at his neighbor. a Put up or shut
up"
There is some internal catch about
this thing" said the other, suspicious
ly; "I might have known it, too, the
minute you asked me such an Internal
idiotic question"
"No catch at all about it." replied
the other, if COWS have got front teeth
on their upper jaws the ten dollars is
yours. If they haven't the money Is
mine. Nothing could be fairer than
that, could thereP''
But still the Jackson street man hesi-
tated. 1t was barely possible that COWS
did not have any front teeth on their
upper jaws. He remembered, then,
that COWS in biting off grass always
threw their noses outward, while horses
nipped it off by jerking their nose In
ward. He was astonished at how near
he had come to being victimized, but
he did not like to come down. The
two were then near the meat market,
near the corner of jackson and Michi-
gan streets, and the jackson street man
was sure that a butcher would know
for certain whether or not cows had
front teeth on their upper Jaws; so he
pnshed open the door and said to the
proprietor;
"1inehan, have cows got front teeth
on their upper jawsP'
Linehan was running o skewer
through a roast of beef, but he stopped,
looking up In astonishment, andsaid:
GGXV Vbat b99
Have COWS got front teeth ON their
upper jawsP"
"CowsP''
"Yes."
"Got front teeth on their upper
jawsp"
Yes"
Upon my word 1 don't know"
"You don't knowP'
mo. You see I buy my beef by the
quarter at the aughter-house, and
don't have anything to do with the
heads. But can find out for you when
l go over"
II wish you would"
So the jackson street man closed the
door, and rejOined his neighbor, and
the two walked along without saying a
word. A milk wagon was seen coming
up the street, and it was resolved to
hail the driver and ask him the ques-
ton, as it is popularity supposed that
milkmen are more or less familiar with
COWS. The Van Buren street citizen
cleared his throat and yelled, "Hellor'
The milkman reined up, and said:
go ahead with your tests. If you
find any water or chalk in that milk IN
give You the whole of it, Fl
The citizen told him to be calm, as
they had no intention of testing his
milk, but only wanted to know if
COWS had front teeth on their upper |
jaws.
The milkman looked at them about
minute and then whipped up his horses
and drove off, mentioning some kind of
a fool that they were. Up on Wiscon-
sin street they saw another milkman,
delivering milk, and overtaking him
they explained the dispute. He smiled
pityingfy upon their ignorance, and
said: .T-.H7 - Or rtaf
"Of course COWS have front teeth on
their upper jaws-a driveling idiot
ought to know that much. A COW
would be q handsome looking object
without any front teeth in her upper
jaw, wouldn't sheP'' 1
1--we concluded to take that bet of
yours" said the jackson street man to
the other. Come, now, down with |
your dust. Fut up or shut up"
why didn't you do it, then, when
you had q ohancep never claimed to |
know whether a cow had any upper
teeth on her front jaw or not; only |
thought had read SO somewhere, and |
asked to know if you knew about it for
certain. But now that the thing is
settled, there is nothing to bet on as l
can see.
80, of course not" said the jackson
street man sarcasticaly; "of course
not"
Just then Mr.. Clark, Of the Newhall
House, happened along, and as the
milkman picked up his lines and drove |
off, the Van Buren-street man asked
Mr.. Clark if he knew anything about
COWS. Mr.. Clark said he did, having
formerly been a farmer and a cattle |
buyer.
"Wen,"' said the Van Buren, streeter,
''do you knowI got the queerest idea
into my head this morning about cows
that a man ever had. Somehow or
other / got the idea that cows had no
front teeth on their upper jaw; and
actually offered to bet ten dollars with
this man that such was the case. don't
see what possessed me.''
"Wel, if you had bet, you would
have won the money" said Mr.. Clark.