The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1881-02-20
Paris Newspaper Wit.

INeN oik N"I.VI
An engaged young man i Late in paying
his regular visit at the dwelling OF his mu-
scalIv-inclined betrOtbed: the young lady
is anxious; the family ssmpathlzes with
her anxiety. Suddenly the bell rngs, and
tie calm blue sky OF peace redppear> in the
Young girl's eyes as she CXcllims raplu-
rou>ly but ungramatically: "Tbat's him I!
How exquisite his technique is on the bell
pull, and-O, the breadth OF his ring
American news from the cnterprlSing
Gdui0iS: The progresses oi the science.
4 seeker Yankee has invented hat grace TO
the which the danes can redden at the
minute. Has one pronounced a word inn
proper, crack. there is not but 10 press q
little spring dissimuatcd beneath the bri-
dies OF the hat, and the tension on the arle-
rieS sufce> 10 make mount the blood TO the
yisIgc, and TO produce the redncs> the most
pudic. Most strOngs, these Americans, and
above all the Amercane>SCS
eyes. young man." said the venerable
drue 0ist to his new clerk. whom he was
about TO initiate into the mysteries Of the
profession, "T1ter lIfetimC'> experience
can confidently assure you that seven Jars
containing the seven specific drug, OF our
trade would suffice 10 set up any drug
store" But, sir, what do YOU have these
other 500 for?" '~What for? Why, TO
sell :"
\ customer enters a restaurant and j.
served with an atrOciOuSiy bad dime"
When he goes up TO the proprietOI's desk TO
settle his bill he bursts into tears, embraces
the proprietor warmly, aud Wrlngs his hand.
"IIi! come now, say" SAYS the proprietor
angrily, "what does this mean z" 81 en-
brace you, my dear friend,' says the Gus
toner, bursting into tears, "becau,e it i
written in the book OF fate that we shall
never meet again"
The sweet mOdcsty Cf OricntalS. A gen.
tleman was once presented 10 the Sultan
Mahmoud. and found it a decided nuisance
to have to say "YOur Ni.hneSs" and
Your Majesty" at almOS, every sentence.
Toe Sultan noticed his embarrassment, and,
diylning lis cause, said kindly: "lou may
call me King Of Kings it i, less for
NAL!
In gambling.helI the banker lets a blue
ffty.franc check drop on the floor. With
great presence OF mind the nearest player
puts. his foot upon .Ee ivory. StOOpS, and
after moments search reappears triumph
antly with a red check, which he hands be-
nignly TO the banker, remarkng, /" ila you
came near losing this ive-franc check
Lucky felt il strike my foot"
Niyier, the irrepressible practical joker
sees Il weltdresscd gentleman stop on the
street and extend his hand TO a friend.
"ScOundrel," he Kisses in the mans ear,
" have you no sense Of shame A man
with sealskin Overcoat aud a diamond pin
asking stranger for aims in broad day
light Where is the Society for the Sup
pressiop OF Mendlcancy!" But, sir"
gaspS The stranger, al wasn't begging; |
was only going TO shake hands with this
gentleman" "Oh, indeed-I beg your
pardon, then, but really | thought " -.
Bows gracefully, smiles genially. and de-
parts. leaving the stranger possessed with a
frantic desire 10 shed his blood
Honest bourgeois at The cate enlivenng
their dominoes and eau Sucree with anec-
dntes Of travel and adventure. says one
- had frightfui adventure once in SwtZ-
erlaud when was travelling with my first
wife, Angelique. We were climbing a
steep rock on both sides OF which were
yawnng preeipices studded with black,
Jagged rocks. | was in front-she behind.
suddenly heard cry--I turned-she had
rushed to the edge Of the
precl pice and gozed into its deptbs-hor-
rors !" "Dashed to pidses 7" "No, sir.
.aught by her dress and safe-not a
scratch ~