The Hickman courier. [volume] (Hickman, Ky.) 1859-current, 1881-12-09
JOHNS LITTLE JOKE.

The Century Magazine
JOHNS LITTLE JOKE.
"Well, I snum 70 exclaimed Uncle
Phil Wheeler, in his characteristic way.
finishing the speech with n prolonged
whistle.
What's the matter, Uncle Phil %
"Hey ?"
What's the matter p
why, your Aunt Susan Just bought
another bureau 70
The speakers were Mr.. Philip Wheel
er, commonly called Uncle Phil, and his
handsome, devil-may-care nephew, John
Iangdon. Uncle Phil was standing un-
der the big brown horse-chestnut tree,
whiting a new handle for his hammer.
when hay-wagon, containing a bureau,
stopped before the gate.
Whose bureaus that ?" demanded
Uncle Phil.
cts for Miss Wheeler" was the an
swer. ''She bought it down at Squire
Thomas's auction"
"Well, L snum -
John Langdon, Just coming from the
woOd-house, armed cap-a-pie, with rod
and lines, heard the exclamation and in
qured the cause.
$50 Aunt Susan has bought another
bureau, has she ?" he remarked, after
moments scrutiny of that awful piece
of household furniture. 81 sav.
Uncle Phil, where is she going to put
po
?" calculated Uncle Phil, star
gd at his nephew over his silver
pecs.
are is she going to put II ."
NJ shook his head and re-
Wiling.
tf l know" he said at
twill have to set atop
ldon't believe there's
the house"
lf my room now, and
kSt~-.>. ourth. F" laughed
49, addressing that
|d on the piazza to
k9inoval of her newly-ac-
s5re from the cart to the
There are you going to put
2"
Psll, John, if you want it, why of
tse you can have it /; but did think
a put it IN the buttery, ii would be so
handy"
"By all MEANS" interrupted John;
the buttery is just the place for it i;
three are as many as l can occupy, in-
asmuch as 1 only brought a hand bag
along on my little visit If you were to
give me fourth, should be reduced
to the necessity of remaining in bed in
order to use it. "
'Oh, go away, you rogue" cried his
aunt, looking lovingly at him "and
stop laughing at your old auntie. Here
you," in alarm to the driver. ''Take
care, there, you'll have that leg of
Hold on to the glass My my How
careless you be I"
After much anxiety on Aunt Susan's
part, hair-breadth escapes on the bu-
reau's and a good deal of harmless
swearing, such as '' / snum r. ''by gol-
ly - etc., on Uncle Phil's, the old bu-
reau was at last deposited in the buttery.
where it took up just three inches more
room than it could with any degree of
propriety be accommodated with. Con-
sequently, being of firm and unyield,
ing nature, a sharp and uncompromising
corner was thrust obtrusively and Of
fendingly out, against which unwary
toes and unfortunate shins would in all
probability be frequently punished.
But Aunt Susan was not the woman
10 go forth to meet trouble, and no
shadow rested upon her placid brow,
nor misgivings annoyed or made afraid
The bureau was a bargain, aud that
sublime fact shed such halo of glory
over its somewhat battered surface as to
completely put to rout the inconvenience
of its position.
Next morning Aunt Susan rose be-
times, sent for the woman who lived ON
the back road, and enjoyed a day of
putting to rights. Those days, IN
which she caused to be brought forth
rooms treasures collected from auctions
innumerable. were dear to her heart
though denominations in the eyes of Un
Gle Phil, who wandered around amid
the household gods in bitterness OF
spirit
John watched the " cleaning" opera
tron with an amused smile curling the
corners of his handsome mouth, till at
length bright idea struck him.
"By Jove," he muttered, :" believe
we might do it y
Five minutes later he might have been
seen In earnest confab with Uncle Phil,
who grinned and nodded his head in evil
dent satisfaction and full approval of the
plan, whatever it was.
The day ended with great success in
the cleaning line. Before sundown all
array of spotless mahogany, brass, Chi
na, britannia, etc., etc, might have been
seen ornamenting Uncle Phils front
yard-articles which the waning rays of
the sun touched and caused to reflect
ike polished mirrors. Soon everything
was replaced, the old woman departed,
and quiet brooded over the old farm
house once more.
Next day John was to return home to
c., and Aunt Susan was to accom-
pany him, for the double purpose of
paying her sister-John's mother-a
visit, and witnessing the ceremony which
should give to John a wife.
This wedding was very near to her
heart; first, because she loved John very
dearly, and second, because he had
bought lovely little nest OF home
close by her house and was, after reas-
enable trip, to bring his young wife
here, under Aunt Susan's motherly
ing, while he began his career as a
CDR IN the brisk little village near by.
hing short of the immense import
his event could have induced