The daily gazette. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1874-1883, 1881-04-22
NONSENSE.

1T doesn't make any difference what
the shape of your new bonnet is, If 1t has
plenty OF flowers aud lace and ribbons
and pretty face in It.
Ii has become fashionable for young
ladies to take fencing lessons; at picnics,
where there Is much climbing to do, this
accomplishment ought to be very useful.
A KANSAS Judge has decided that a
ticket to "admit one" is good for hus-
baud aud wife. Wonder ii that Judge
orders dinner for one when he takes his
Witt TO a hotel.
The Boston Post says: "Llttle Malone
is now called the Virginia creeper,' but
If We remember rightly that is the vine
that always shows proneness TO 80 up
the spout"
As the doctors carriage turned the
corner,it CHANGED to fall behind funeral
procession. The horse appeared little
embarrassed but the doctor looked as If
nothing had happened.
A few days since Jay Gould was seen
to look long and earnestly at the moon
with a disconsolate sigh. A railroad
track cannot be laid on air.
A fellow who was arrested the other
day desired the judge to permit him to
Issue bonds TO run twenty years. The
judge, however, concluded to make a
special deposit Of the principal.
An irreverent Washington correspon-
dent wants TO settle the deadlock by
shutting up Dawes and Ben Hill in the
Senate chamber all summer, with deaf
doorkeeper as presiding officer.
THEY tell this mot of the Empress of
Austria. In her hunting excursions her
majesty is always surrounded be gentle
men, and by gentlemen only.
"Why do you always have men about
you, and never single woman" asked
one of her friends, lady old enough TO
be pardoned the liberty.
"Madame," replied the Empress, 81
enjoy having these gentlemen with me,
not because they are men, but because
they are not women!"
TdE Galveston (Texas) Neus says:-
"That Immense bodies bodies OF fresh
water underliea large portion of Texas
IL well known. Occasionally, some por-
noDs OF 1t hnd vent In rivers--like the
San Marcos, San Antonio, and others
which burst forth in full volume, and,
unlike most rivers are larger at their
heads than their mouths"
A CHICAGO preacher says that q tailor
who VIII promise TO have a coat made at
q ceIt lin time when he has his doubts
about IL Is liar Ia the sight of Heaven,
but this reflection doesn't begin to be
the comfort to the disappointed manithat
II Is to call him chuwder-headed old
clam and thump his head.
"BUT, nv deah fellah," said the new
ly-arrived Englishman to the Galveston
hack-driver VINO had csllsd him col mel,
''but, my deah, fe1ih, don't Belong TO
the army, ye know" That don't make
anv di difference; here In Gal weston we
call slmOst every loafer and deadbeat
c. lbuel or major Have kerridge
general"
The Chicago Inter- Ocean says that
when Sharon gave u diuner to General
Giant the menu was engraved on sheet,
of SILVER; VIXEN Flood gave german
the favors were expensive jewelry, and
at r., Mackay's recent ball the flowers
alone cost $4,000. When these people
bsgin to put $4,000 greenbaeks under
the napkins of their guests IL is to be
hoped that editors will be invited 10
dinner.
A Harvard professor recently an.
nounced that the handsomest women
marry the homeliest men, and rice versa,
and seventeen students went out and got
engaged to red-headed girls who were
either cross-eyed or had lost their teeth.
"Would you say" asked Prof. Stearns,
~ wonld rather walk or Il had rath-
or waikr" 81 would say" replied the
smart, bad boy, al had rather ride,'
most emphaticaily." And he was mark
eo three below zero, with cloudy OF
partly clearing weather;