Middletown transcript., 1881-09-16
Ghe cyttiddlttulun Granstript
0RDAY ArrERNooN, SEPT. IS, 1881.
CHIPS.

A New York man recently sold his
wife to a neighbor for a dollar. Some
men seem to take delight in swindling
their neighbors. Norristo.Cl Herald.
The Ladies Aid Society. Yes, they
do, it is true. In fact, if it were not
for their aid, society would drag along
miserable existance. Rome Sentinel.
The season has arrived, when the
orator, who does not know side-hill
plough from a potato bug, will deliver
beautiful discourses on agriculture on
the Fair grounds. Wilkins.
A Cayuga Lake hotel is boasting
two-legged pig which walks erect.
There are hotels in the country that
harbor dozens of that animal, but they
don't think it anything to boast of
YOrkers Gazette.
Mr.. Alcott told the Concord school
Of philosophy that Actuality is the
Thingness Of the Here" In the East
this sort of thing is culture here in the
West it is drunk and disorderly, with a
fine Of ten dollars OF thirty days in jail.
-Peck's Sttn
"Ny dear" said 4 fond New Haven
mcGher to her child, 4 why do you not
play with the little Jones boy ?" "Oh,
he's horrid. He says bad, naughty
words, just like papa does" Reform
will begin at home in that family
NetC Havep Register.
An Englishman, just over, who was
going on fishing excursion, inquired
at a hardware store for a Mason & Dix
on's line. He said he had heard a
good deal Of that line in the old coull-
try, and supposed in was the best kind
in use.-SomerU5Ile Journal.
Forepaugh's $4,000 beauty is dis
appointment to circus goers. She is
only moderately pretty, and during the
parade rides the elephant. Most any
body riding an elephant looks about as
handsome and graceful as superannu-
ated hen with frozen feet trying to walk
board fence.-BiU Nye.
eff two from one you take, how
many viii remain, Alice r. said q
young man to his girl. "Why, yor
can't take two from one, Charley. :
"Oh, yes, | can, Alice, !" and he kissed
her twice. Now" said he, "I'vl
taken two from one, and hundreds re
main. !" "And they will remain there,
replied Alice. Puck.
This week we got another countr
letter, in which the writer as sort 3
prelude to telling US about his 4 shol
craps,'' begins IT take my pen i
hand" We are glad he told us thi
If he hadn't we might have though
that he had fastened his pen firmly
his old cider press, and then sawed I'll
paper back and forth over the point
make his heiroglyphics. There's notl
ing like being particular about the
little things. -EUdnsUiIle Argus.
Said he, "And you love me bettr
than all the world beside ~ g Yes,
said she. "And you love me bett,
than anybody else ?" said he. Z Ye
dearest H "And you wouldn't thir
any more Of me if I was worth a mi
lion dollars ~ she said No; and
Twas rich heiressyou wouldn'twant
marry me any more than you do now ?
"No, darling" They were not lyinl
gentle readers they were simply cour
ing that was all.-B0ston TranScrip
What grand thing it is to be char
table. The day before the last circl
performed here, $3.50 was raised to r
lieve the distress Of a man and h
family Of nine other persons, besides
decrepit mother-in-law. The next da,
the whole family were enjoying tn
clowns jokes in reserved seats at IL
circus. Twas touching sight to 81
the old lady renew her age, while tt
children's hunger was appeased wit
copious draughts Of lemonade apologize
Whitehall Times.