The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1881-06-09
GEN ERAL GLElNINGS.

The Boston Post says: "Forgotten-Dr.
Tanner and Mr.. Hayes.
A young man sent sixty cents to a
firm that advertised q receipt to prevent
bad dreams. He received slip of
paper on which was written: Don't so
to sleep.
A child of seven, on visit from his
uncle, remarked: Uncle, the last time
you came you gave me shilling for
spelling cat, and I'll spell it again if
you like"
A little girl had been scolded by her
grandmother. She picked up her little
kitten and caressing it, said: 81 wish
one of us three was dead. And it amt
you kitty, and it amt me.
A schoolmaster had great deal Of
trouble making a boy understand his
lesson. Finally he succeeded, and re-
marked: eff it wasn't for me you would
be the biggest donkey in the town."
After Theodore Parker died, his lovely
lovable widow kept his study up to the
day of her death (last Saturday week. :,
just as he left it. Even his pen was on
the table just where he put it down for
the last time.
We're told that 'if cats hair bristles
up. her eyes roll and her teeth clatter to-
gether it is sure indication OF O COM
ing earthquake" 1t strikes us it's more
of an indication that she has swal-
lowed a piece of glass.
A woman hunted two hours for a
needle she had dropped on the floor, and
couldn't find it, and then her husband
came in, and had hardly taken his boots
Oft before he could tell where it was.
Queer how men can do things that
women can't.
New York City has a Business Mems
Moderation Society that is doing world
of good in quiet way. Last year it
issued 81 900 pledges-24, 900 of total alb
stinence, 81, 900 of not to drink during
business hours, and 10000 of not to
treat or be treated.
The Pennsylvania railroad has been
making long and elaborate inquiry
into the duration of steel rails, and it is
found that soft steel rails wear away less
than hard steel rails. This is because
the little particles which rise on the sur
face of steel rail break off under the
wheels when the rail is hard. and ham
mer down if it is soft.
Was there ever a better example of the
witty and concise form of expression
common to the real Western American
than the answer of the grim man of the
Sierra, who. when asked about the char
acter of n neighbor, sententiously re-
piled, "Mister, don't know very much
about him, but my impression is that he
would make frstrate stranger"
A banker, who is afflicted with tumor
on the knee, and has been condemned to
lose his leg, has another doctor called in
who thinks he sees one chance in a
hundred of saving the limb, works on
that chance and saves it. Presently he
sends in his bill for 5000 francs Five
Thousand francs!' shrieks the patient
five thousand francs! Why, that is all
the other doctor was going to charge and
he would have had the trouble of per-
forming an amputation!'
"Why is it, inquired the victim of a
dentist, the other day, between the inter-
walls of excruciatiug borings and blood
chilling filings, that men of your pro-
fession seem to delight in inhcting as
much pain upon their subjects as pos
sible?" "Oh," replied the dentist, SHOW
ing spectrum halfway down his
patients throat, 1--WE ike to have them
think they are getting their money
worth"
Two Cincinnati ladies, who had lately
Returned from trip abroad, were ex-
changing opinions in reference to the IA
nous pictures they had seen. Give me
the Reconnaissance school of art, ex-
claimed one, $50 full of sympathy of po-
etry; so different from the Pre-Rachel-
bite" 1T is very true what You say,
observed the other, "but as for me, |
Just dote on the Dustledrop school, and
the paint is so much fresher."
1t is asserted that within eighteen
months. two and half miles OF the pro-
posed channel tunnel between England
and France will have been excavated and
that the work will be completed in about
four years, Still another grand scheme
for crossing the channel is contemplated,
namely line of steel tubes sixteen feet
| in diameter, ballasted so AS to make it
weigh one and quarter tons to the foot
less than the water displaced, and held
at depth of thirty-five feet below the
surface, so AS not to impede navigation,
by chains attached to caissons sunk to
the bottom.
A CURIOUS SroRY.-The story Is told
in English journals of young woman
who answered an advertisement for an