The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1881-09-16


Ties and careful diet have worked won
ders and brought me excellent health
and spirits, and you may publish my ex-
perience for the benefit of similar suffer
ers.--A Cincinnati lady.
The latest nonsense: "Wonder il a
noise annoys an OYSTER"
A Niagara hackman has become q
minister. Having preyed for years, he
will now endeavor to preach while.
HAY FEVER.
For Hay Fever recommend Elys
Cream Balm. IL entirely relieved me
from the first application; have been a
sufferer for ten years Going from home,
and noglecting TO take the remedy, |
bad an attack; after returning ! i'm
mediately resorted to it, and found
instant relief. believe, had / begun
its use earlier, should not have been
troubled. Have stood heat, dust and
draughts as well as during other months.
j, Collyer, Clerk, 11S Broad street, Eliz.
abeth, Nj.
| For years / have been afflicted with
Hay Fever, from early August until
frost. was induced to give Ely's Cream
Balm trial. The relief was immediate.
| regard myself cured. G. Schneider,
Supt. of Cordage Co., Elizabeth, n. J.
| Sept. 20, 1880. Price 80 cents
When you lose needle on the floor,
the quickest way to find it is to take off
| your shoes and walk about.
When a cat gives an entertainment
from the top of a wall it isn't the cat we
| object tots the waul.
COMMUNION WINE.
The grape crop of A. Speer's vineyard
in New Jersey last year was double that
of any previous year. His vineyards in
New Jersey have soincreased each year
| that he has been enabled to keep him
stock four years ahead. None sold less
than four years old. 1t has become
popular wine among the best physicians
in New York, and is largely used for
communion purposes, and weak and
aged persons. For sale by G. A. Klein,
druggist, Bloemsburg, Pa.
The mikmen of New Jersey town
ship are going to have ball. They
will probably go in pumps.
a semi-yearly paperpublished in Kan
| sas advises advertisers to hand in their
copy early and thus avoid the rush.
FoRLoRN HOPE.
Otto J. Doesburg, proprietor Ho1-
land city Noars, Mich, writes: "a bad
cold settled on my side and back, kidney
| tr,uhln li,or nd ~, tie,, oD,,, I;noJ.
| suffered terribly, though was obliged
to move about and attend to business.
! tried local doctors, but received no re-
ief, and as forlorn hope tried your
| Thomas Oil; have only used half fifty
cent bottle, and feel as well as ever did
III my life.
We would like to catch the man who
arises in the morning to wind up the
| roosters.
'It is only after long reflection that
| go to an entertainment with any young
man" said the maiden to her mirror.
A MARVELLOUS CURE
For all bodily ailments, arising from
impurity of blood, torpid liver, irregu-
larty of the bowels, indigestion, consti
patton, or dsordered kidneys, is war
rantcd in free use of BurdocE Blood
Bittcrs. Price 100, trial size 10 cents.
In some states the evidence of man
who habitually goes fishing twice a year
will not be received in the courts. The
reason for this bit Of judicial wisdom is
obvious.
Niagara Falls is SO brilliantly illumin-
ated by the electric light every evening,
that after paying the hackman you can
easily see whether there is anything left
in your pooketbook.
TOO FAsTDIoUs.
Some wouldbe Byrons look on with dis
gust
AT the rhymes of Ecloctrc Oil ''poet;"
But we have the best article known to
the world,
And intend that all persons shall know it.
1t cures coughs, colds, asthma and ca
tanh,
Bronchitis and complaints of that kind;
Ii does not cost much, though rheumatics
it cures
'Tis the best oil in the world you can
find.
1t islearncd that sharks are very fond
of cats as food, Now let somebody in
vent a method of teaching sharks TO
climb over woodshed roofs and back
yard fences
An Iowa woman ate two large wat
ermelons, and her last words to her hus-
hand ENl.oy I,h,, t,n.l 10 a.
dren not to be as big fool as their
mother was
MILLIONAIRE.
"All the health / enjoy, and even ny
lie, may say, isin consequence of Sim
mons Liver Regulator, | woudnot take
Sl,OO0,OO0 for my inter, st in that med.
icine. W. III. Wilson, Lecturer Florida
State Grange"
Millions of us are bilious. We are a
| bilious race. Half of US are born bilious
with a predisposilion to dyspepsia. The
| best known remedy for biliousness and
indigestion is Simmons Liver Regulator.
| 1t has stood the test of time.
A new play is being written in which
the hero is found lost and flying in des-
eit, chained 10 the bare back of a BIZ
cycle His deliyeler proves to be prin-
cess who marries him and makes him
captain Of base ball nine,
Ayers Aeue cure is a purely yegeta.
bic bitter and powerful tonic, free from
quinine or any mineral substance, and
always cures the seyerest cases.
| The girls at fancy fairs who want S5
Tor ten cent aricle,are always the ones
who LNor made a o,ut of money for
themselves and have no idea of its value.