The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1881-09-25
HIT OR MISS.

The saddle horse knows enough of arith.
metic TO carry one.
A pig WAS never known to wash but
great many people have seen inc pig
iron.
Yes. sir, said Mr.. Gallagher, it was funny
enough to make donkey laugh, laughed
TIL / cried.
drv goods house advertises lawn dresses
tbst viii wash. lsn't it the business OF
laundress 10 wash?
No use signing for the friends of your
youth, Better skrmish about for some one
10 stand by you 10 old age.
The hog may not be thoroughly posted in
arithmetic but when sou come 70 square
root no is there--the hog ls
A rivers mouth is lager than it's head, the
sea has arms but no hands, and mountain
has A foot but no legs. Queer, lsntlt!
What makes the hair fall out asks a
correspondent. Usually it is the property
of the deceased that makes the hairs fall out
When lovely woman stoops TO folly, and
finds too late that men betrsy, she sues at
once for breach OF promise and makes MIN
whack up with the ply.
Lesson for young houSekeepers-How can
Won tell Young fowl from an old one! BY
Inc teelhi But fowls have no teeth. |
know they dent, but have
The drum major who ran away from Ma
iuba Hill. when reprosched with coWardice,
replied, I'd rather DO coward all my lie
than be q corpse fifteen minutes
What Is the greatest charge on record?
asked the professor on history. And the
absent mir ded student anewered; Seventeen
dollars tor hack hire for self and girl for two
hours.
Aa rested hia hot brow upon his hand
mad laughed: Three months ago she
vowed she would never, mover msrry, me
and now sho ID fui0g me for breach oil
promise.
When the devil was sick: "Oh, Lord y
prayed man in great strait; " you know
/ never troubled you much and II you'll
help me out Of this scrspe I'll never trouble
you again; amen"
A woman may offer in excuse for her red
nose that she lsces too tightly, but what
shall msn sayY-Ex. o, he can offer the
same excuse. He often gets too tightly by
so-lacing himself.
An Arkansas journal says that they have
in that state spring so powerfully impreg'
mated with iron that the farmers horses
which drink at it have to be shod, the shoei
growing on their feet naturally.
A women in eastern Pennsy lvania became
crazy on seeing her husband kiss anothe
woman. The husband was rascal. NJ
true husband would ever kiss another wo'
man when his wife was looking.
A truthful editor: Says an exchange: as,
much space is given to editorial matter tina
a large amount of interesting reading
crowded out" The editor is frank at al
events, and should DO honored accord
ingly.
A young lady who is doing the Alps re
ports progress 10 her guardian; tired
climb the Matterhorn-didn't reach the tor
1t is absurdly high everything is higi
in this country. Please send me som
money.
A Christian county, Kentucky farme
sent this order 10 his merchant Pleas
send me by berrier too pouns shugor,
blackiu brush, five pouns Of cofley and som
lttel males. My wife had baby last nit
and too padlocks.
We shall pay off S14,0OOOOO Of our deb
this month. BY tive" tho United States
lntenueu.-Dostoh lrhnscTlps' Auo Va p'an'
tory sentence was not necessary. Not or
reader in hundred would suppo- that
Boston editor could 60, crn,l. for Sl4 600
600. We find il pretty hard 20 run in del
10 the extent of the pallry sum Of 81, 600, COZ
--Norristown Herald.
An Indianapolis rurslist seated himself
q restaurant the other day and began on y
bill of fare. After employing three waite
nearly half an hour in bringing dishes
him, no heaved sigh, and whispered, as
put his finger on the bill CT fare, "Miste
I've ct 10 thar, snd'--moving his finger
the bottom of the bill-"ef it isn't agin u
rule, Ia like to skip from thar to thar"