Louisiana capitolian. (Baton Rouge, La.) 1879-1881, 1881-02-08
LIVE DEMOCRATIC FUNERAL
GRAFTON.

The Republicans Of Clarlnda, Page
county, Iowa, had Publication meet
inc on Friday night, the 9TH ult. Ac-
cord,ng to the Council Bluffs Nompareii
they had the biggest kind of time,
with Examinations, fireworks, music
and speechifying. After several Repub-
lican orators, among them Congressman
elect Hepburn, had given vent to their
feelings with spread eagle speeches, the
crowd called loudly for Lou 3. Cake.
Cake is a Democrat, and the Noppareil
saws he looked too depressed to speak,
but the crowd wouldn't be put Oft, so ne
mounted the box and made the follow
ing unique speech; @
Fellow-citizens-A man usually at
tends his own funeral, but it is not eN-
pected that he should talk great deal.
Laughter know the funeral cefe-
; monies would 90 on without me, 50 l
concluded I had better bring in the body
Laughter But it takes great deal
of grace to sustain man who helps TO
furnish the corpse for an occasion IKE
this. Laughter. Nobody bnt a DEM
{ ocrat could do it. Applause. 1T Is
certain that no one save the Democrats
~~ve had chance to try it for the las'
twenty years. shonts of applause
Disappointmentisy che modern 'Deu1o
, Gratis birth right Mnd mourning his nor
t NAL condition. /rhey took out paten
} on disaster tw9nty years ago, and it ma
never been Snfringed. The patent raj
out in 1s7Sf and they have e just got, got !
I'd aYewed Looking over the landscap
10 ~ Vast twenty years, I behold acre
us ooracres of busted hopes, cords an
he arhs of disgruntled ambitions, barre
py Ia barrels of unavailing tears ocean
cd q and oceans strevn with the wrecks
4 nbautom ships once burdened with Den
= ocratic decisions. [Great applause
lis Disappointment is an anchor tothe Den
,ul ocratic soul both sure and steadfast
,se Leaves have their time to fall, -, ,;,,
And flowers to wither at the nor'h WIN
wa 49,, . tarst to set but all, 0, Democrat!
Tbon hast all times for thine own death'
he might say with Shylock, 'sutteran(
the yea. sufterance is the badge OF our trio
i'm ! could give You 800 reasons tor I'll
TLaughter A lawyer offered a Jua
he sixteen reasons why his client was
,isy nrasent in court: First, he was de'
The Judge told him he might omit
yer other fifteen. The first reason Oh
nti- 800 is, we lacked the votes. You v
his allow ne to omit the other 32e. Il
nlausive consent. But l could 9
nost Won more than 325 reasons. Yea, MOE
, in letter John Kelly did it with his III
racket. Great applause. English
| of foreclosed his mortgages and
ard couldn't redeem. Then,
his It's the South that can supply
IN Solid comforts till we die.
. In some States the Greenback pa
ovor fell through a crack in their plaff
cool and crippled us, [Langhter'
and Democracy still lives. Great appIa'
,nor IFS like the lnule-it never dies.
- - unfortunately, like the mule, WIN!
is forever throwing its rider.
elm It bucked Greeley of, and killed
.;aa in 1872. Tilden stuck on till he pa
,,ocl, under the wire. Applause But t
was so much daylight between HIM
o the this Democrat quadruped, the u
eepv counted him of, although he hao
feet in the stirrups. This year we
e lit splendid send off and might have
, the butth donkey got stricken dow
bows Indiana with (g) Landers. LAppla
;, tho we cose this chapter of history