The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1881-04-22
AREAS AND sroRM CESrERs.
A Lueid description by the Philosophsr

A Lucid Description by the PHILOSOPHERS
Irritant.
II see,'' said Mrs Spoopendyke, as she
laid the paper down, Il see that we are
to have rising, followed by falling
barometer. with northeast TO southeast
winds, and higher or lower temperature,
with clear, or partly cloudy weather and
light rains. How is it they eontriye to
tell SO accurately about the weather
Do they understand it,,
"Certainiy,s' replied Mr.. Spoopendyke
They do It by observation. They have
g man out west observing, and man
down east who observes, and fellows
observing around in different parts of
the country. They put all their obser-
vations together, and We know just what
lbs going TO do"
81 suppose. that's what makes the
wind so different every morning when
one mans temperature is rising, an
others is falling, and when one is clear
all the rest are partly cloudy, with
mo, they amt. Each observer sends
in what he observes, and then the chief
makes up his mind from those reports
what the weather will be. Can't you
understand ~
Perfectly said Mrs Spoopendyke,
rubbing her eyebrows. "If one sees the
barometer rising and another sees il
falling, and its cold in one place and
cloudy IN another. they all say so. But
should thing when one bits it the 9TH
ers would be awful mad.
"What would they get mad about2"
demanded Mr., Spoopendyke. You
don't imagine that they all get together
and fight II out, do you. They take the
weather from different points and com
bine it, and then they parcel it out
among the different regions. For in
stance, if it SHOWS in the east and is
warm in the west, they strike an average
in the Lake region. Now, what's the
average between heat and SNOWY
Rain" cried Mrs. SpoopendYke. de-
lighted with her sagacity. II see how
it is now. They take what is usually
going on and equaliZe it all over the
weren't elected"
"What have they got to do with it ?
Do you think a barometer is politi-
clan g''
mo. But if the democrats had been
elected they would have had TO change
it all around, wouldn't they? And the
south would have got the best share.
That's what the repub-."
'Dod CAST the republicans. They've
got no more to do with it than you have.
You've got an idea that they throw the
OdIOulCtCIS 0OOSCihN1S ihLO JIG ClA0 "a
steam engine and the weather comes
out the other. They don't make wealth
er. The weather makes itself. It's the
only selfsupporting thing about the
government And these signal men only
watch it and tell what it's going TO be-"
81 suppose when these observers all
get together and talk it over, that is call
ed storm center, isn't ii ~
That's itn' shouted Mr.. Spoopendyke
You've got the weather, now All you
want is your name painted on the ham
die, and the spring broken, TO be an UNI
brella. They don't talk it over; they
Washington. They agree on il here, and
then they telegraph it all over the coun-
try. A storm center travels around
everywhere. It's generally made in
Manitoba and then sent down here.
"How wide is it ?" asked Mrs. Spoop-
endyke. deeply interested. Because, If
it isn't too big, | should think they
might stop it,
wide? It's about foot widei Just a
foot. Just about as wide as your measly
information. How'ere they going to
stop it? S'pose it travels on a railroad
train? Think it jaws the sleeping car
conductor because there's only an upper
berth left? Well it don't. 1t hires
horse That's the way it comes. 1t hires
horse ~ howled Mr.. Spoopendyke, land
the way to stop it is to build fence
around it. There was some talk about
burning the last one, but the wood was
| wet,
swell, my dear, you needn't get angry
about it, said Mrs. SpoOpenkyke, soOth-
ingly. II only thought there might be
some way they could make some arrange
ment about it. think storm eenters are
horrid, and the observer in Manitoba
must have a hard time. If he has to OBJ
serve much in the winter he must be
nearly frozen"
"Does any human being know what
you're thinking about raved Mr.. Spoop-
endyke. do you s'pose he goes around
with spyglass, looking behind rocks I?
| Think he prowls around ali night with
dod- gasted lantern, hunting up storm
| centers? Got an idea that he runs
around under the bed with broom,
like measly married woman know of,
| and " hen he catches a center pulls him
out by the leg and observes him
He don't do anything of the sort. He
has 'em in to spend the evening with
| him. and gets 'em drunk and finds out
what they're upt to. Understand it now
| All YOU want is to whirl around twice
| and squeak nights TO be a weather-yane."
81 didn't know how they did It,"
quoth Mrs. Spoopendyke, complacently,
| ''but I see it now II the prohibitionists
had been elected he couldn't have done
that, and We would have been in a bad
way. Now that | understand it, III
| learn the indications every morning.
| How does barometer rise and fall?
with jack screws, dOd CAST itn'
Numbered MIR. Spoopenkyke. "Some-
times they haul it up with stump ma
chine; then they drop a carpenters shop
on it. When it gets very low they blow
it up with gun cotton. Once in Dakota
it got so high they had to dig hole and
ram it down with Spite driver. Got il
nowi Begin to see through it. What
you need is box of pills and conun-
!. drum to be an almanacp and Mr.
! Spoopendyke jumped out of the house
like cOmical shot, and banged the
door after him.
II never understood il before solilo
quized Mrs. Spoopendyke. specializing
whether she'd put the plume on the side
or back part of her hat, but now thai
he's made it plain to me, wonder why
they don't observe by steam. 1t mus
be awful hard on the poor men," anC
having decided about The plume. Mrs
Spoopendyke filed her mouth with pin
and crawled under the bed in search 0
her thimble