Democratic messenger. [volume] (Snow Hill, Md.) 1869-1973, 1881-11-26
WIT AND WISDOM.

| CttJ I)CFI tChSs
IT WAS but natural that some of the
family of the old woman who lived in
shoe should always have been down
at the heel.
THERE is an opening IN Corpus
Christi for some enterprising old man:
The oldest inhabitant has just died and
left vacancy.-TerGs Siftings.
Now THE brown sheIled chestnut
Looks so nice and firm;
Early birds will bite it,
Then they catch the worm.
VT and Wisdom.
The ice men are now going around
collecting their bills, or rather present
ing them, we should say. People who
have had ice all summer, regard this as
a very cool proceeding. .-ElnairG Ad-
Vertiser.
"TosrMY," said mother to her seven
year-old boy, you must not interrupt
me when I am talking with ladies.
you can talk" "But you never STOP"
retorted the boy.
WE look before and after;
And pine for what is not:
| Our sincerest laughter
| With some pain is fraught;
Our sweetest songs are those that tell OF saddest
thought.-Sheiiey.
By TWO wings man is lifted up from
things earthly-namely, by simplicity
and purity. Simplicity ought to be in
our intention; purity in our affections.
Simplicity doth tend toward God; purity
doth apprehend and taste him.
AN EDITOR wrote a headline, GA
Horrible Blunder," to go over q rail-
road accident, but though it was the
printers fault that it got over the ac-
count of q wedding. The editor was
the man thrashed all the same.
A WOMAN who carried around milk in
Paris said a naive thing the other day.
One of the cooks to whom she brought
milk looked into the can and remarked
with surprise: "Why there is actually
nothing there but water" The woman
having satisfied herself OF the state
ment said: "Well, if I didn't forget to
put in the milk r.
IT OUGHT to be the great care of
every one of us to follow the Lord fully.
We must follow him universally, with
out dividing; uprightly, without dis
sembling; cheerfully, without disputing;
constantly, without declining; and this
is following him fully .-Matthe,O Henry.
"YoU ARE the worst boy I ever saw ~
exclaimed Brown to his son. "Why
will you go on as you do? l should
think you would have some respect
for your father" Chow can ],
dad, have any respect for a man
with such q rascally son ?" asked the
young reprobate. e.-BostOn Transcript.
An AUGUSTA man went to Boston on
business, and put up at one of the first
class hotels. The clerk gave his baggage
and the key to his room to q porter,
who conducted the Augusta gentleman
to the elevator. Closing the door they
began to ascend, unperceived by the
traveller. He eyed the four walls of the
elevator moment and exclaimed: "Take
my baggage back to the Office; you
can't put me off in q room like this r.
Kennebec Journal
"I KNEW he was no saint" said the
parsons wife, referring to party who
only occasionally attended church, but
whose piety her husband had been in
the habit of extolling. "No saint, my
dear ?-I don't understand you"
"Don't eh Well, he sat in the pew
next to ours this morning, and when he
made believe get down to pray, his knee
joints creaked like the rusty hinges Ct
an old barn door,"
BEHOLD the Printer. He is Hunting
for Pickup of half Line. He has
been hunting for Two Hours. He could
have Set the half Line in twenty Sec
onds, but it is Matter of Principle
with Him never to Set what he Can
pick up. The Printer has Hard time.
He has to Set type all night and Play
pedro for the Beer all Day. We would
Like to Be Printer were it not for the
Night Work.-DenUer Tribune.
A PATHWAY only eighteen inches wide
is cut into the side of Slate Mountain,
near LeadvilIe, at height, over an al
most perpendicular chasm, of 1,500
feet. Few men who use it have strong
enough nerves to walk upright, but in
stlnctively crouch or "coon it." as the
local saying is. The foolhardiness of
James Zern in attempting the passage
when the ground was glare of ice may,
therefore, be imagined. He slipped,
fell, and was dashed to pieces on the
frozen ground more than quarter of q
mile below.
HERE is Castle. It is the Home of
an Editor. 1t has Stained Glass win
dows and Mahogany stairways. In
front of the Castle is Park. Is it not
sweet? The lady in the Park is the ed
itor's wife. She wears Costly robe of
Velvet trimmed with Gold Lace, and
there are Pearls and Rubies in her hair.
The editor sits on the front Stoop,
smoking an Havana Cigar. His little
Children are playing with Diamond
Marbles on the Tesselated Floor. The
editor can afford to live in Style. He
gets Seventy-Five Dollars a month
Wages. Denver Tribune.
THE shorthand reporters of Sydney
N. s. W., having been found fault with
for their method of reporting the
speeches in the Legislative Council, re-
taliated by giving the speech of one OF
the Council exactly as it was spoken. as
follows: ''The reporters ought not to
the reporters ought not to be the
ones to Judge of what is important-not
to say what should be left out-but-
the member can only Judge of what is
important. As las my speeches-as
the reports-as what I say is re-
ported sometimes, no one-nobody can
understand from the reports--what it is
- n