Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1881-07-27
You're Another.

lie Ulu-JdSlOuSU UElluetOlc ldSlNt- Dul
he likes 10 play "autbor, and indulges In
thai mild dissipation in the bosom OF his
family, when he can't find a good excuse
for remaining down town. Important
matters connected with the church, and
the great scheme Of salvation often CON-
pei him 10 stay out late IN consultation
with Other deacOns, and upon these occa-
sIons the spiritual condition Of the benIght-
ed hcathen is discussed IN the back room
Of Deacon Magruders grocery James
Bowers, worldly young man, but very
entertaining and lively companion, takes
part in these discussions once in while,
and, II must be confessed, sometimes leads
the Two worthy deacons away from the
subject and the strict path OF rectltude;
but as Mr.. Bowers is discreet young man,
the little sips never leak out. That is,
they didn't leak out until James inveIgled
them into the sinful game of whisky poker
under false pretences. James read in the
paper that all Elmira man had devised
game of whisky poker 10 be played with
the truly good and harmless authors cards;
so he purchased pack and took them along
to the next conference on the propagation
Of the true faith among tine EsquImaux,
held in Deacon Magruder's back room on
Saturday evening. Deacon Shderback and
Deacon Magruder held an argument about
the amount OF saving grace an EsquimauX
could absorb, which was Interrupted by
James Bowers making some tlippant re-
mark about bear grease, and suggesting
game of authors. The two deacons readily
assented, and after playing awhile James
voted the game dull, and unfolded some
ide about making it more Interesting.
lie knew the deacons were wholly Ignorant
of the national game of draw, and he eX-
planned TO them the relative value OF pairs,
two pairs, and go on. The deacons seemed
to catch on very readily, and agreed to
play for the cider to make the game inter-
esting. James dealt the hands, and ex
planned that the five cards turned down on
the table constituted the widow hand,
and that the man holding the age had the
privilege of exchanging his hand for the
widow" or knocking and passing the
privilege to the next. Deacon Sliderback
held the age, and being known in the COM
munity as the friend Of the widows and
fatherless, he sustained his reputation
by picking up the widow" Deacon
Magruder drew Evangeline" TO ill from
the hand that Deacon SlIderback discarded,
and laid down the Marble Faun," which
was snapped up by Bowers to pair with
The House OF Seven Gables" They
drew around twice, when Deacon Slider
back knocked and they all stood their
hands and showed down. Deacon Magru-
der held Longfelow full on Dickens,
Deacon Slider back exhibited two pairs
Cooper Up, and James had three Haw-
thorns. giving Deacon Sliderback a point
for the lowest hand. The game went
along all tight until ca of the Deacons
had four points and James only two, it be-
ing agreed that the man getting five points
first would be stuck for the drinks. Ii was
Deacon Slidor5ack's deal, and he passed
the pack to James, who cut the "Stones of
Venice" for the bottom ca-d, taking sly
glance at it as he did so. The deacon
tossed around the cards. and Deacon Ma
crrler stood pat and knocked, while James
picked up The :" widow" and threw down
hls hand, one of his cards being 8 Seven
Lumps of Architecture which Deacon
Siderback eagerly picked up.
What have you got!" said Deacon
Magruder to Mr.. Bowers.
"Two small pairs. Thackeray' and
George Eliot, replied James, showing
down Pendenis, =" s. Vanity Fair. "'' Dan
iel Deronda," and RomCla.'
"Tve got q Hugo straight, remarked
Deacon Magruder, laying down :" Les Mis-
cradles, al I'Homme Qui Rit, Ninety
Three "Toilers Of the Sea-" and Ma
poleon the Little" " and | guess that's the
boss hand OUT
Hold on, Clipped in Deacon Slider
back, ''I can beat that. You say its
straight, ,!on't you D."
es, that's what | call it. What have
you goti p
swell, P,e got a Ruskin fiush," re-
marked Deacon Shderback exnltingly,
showing down Modern Painters. y " Deus
Gallon, d" Crown of Wild Olives. " '-Seven
Lamps of Architecture" and Stones Of
Venice.
"No you don't!" said Deacon Magru-
der; THAT'S no better hand than my Hu>
go straight.
Hugo TO thunder !" responded Slider
back, getting excited ! claim flush, ana
that beats any straight in the deck. Any
fool knows that
"Dont call me a fool, Deacon Slider
back; I've played poker as much as you
have, and | say your hand is only a
straight
~ say II S flush"
ssAll right, then, mines a flush, and it
beats YOURS, b cause 1t is pat and you
filled"
81 wasn't gong TO say any thing Deacon
Magruder, about that card you dropped
under the table, but when member of the
church stoops to suck a thing TO get out of
setting up his three glasses of cider i'll his
own store, it is time he was shown up. l
won't mention it outside this time, though,
if YOU give in beaten"
"Do You mean 10 accuse me of cheat
ing, Deacon Sliderback :" said MagIuder,
in tone of suppressed emotion.
That's abcu' the size of it, | am PANIED
TO say, sir, and it grleves me that pro-
fessor of religion should"
30, you dry up, you old fraud, yelled
Magruder Didn't | see you deal the
Stones of Venice to yourself off the bot
tom of the pack, and never say anything
about it
"You're liar!"
"You're another, you dumfounded old
mu!ligalOot.."
Then they clinched and fought all over
the store, tipped over gallon of molasses
and rolled in it, and then wallowed around
in the contents of an upset flour barrel, and
wher the neighbOrs came in, Deacon Ma.
gruder was sitting on the floor with his
back against a potato sack. Deacon Sli-
derback was doubled up in blshel basket,
with his arms hanging outside, and his legs
pointing up toward the salt Goldfish hang
ing from the rafters, and both were glarIng
savagely, and putting hard for wind, while
James Bowers, Esq, was lying on the
counter, choking with laughter, after hav-
ing gathered up the authors cards and scat
tered genuine poker deck over the floor.
The deacons have been trying to explain
but the circumstantial evidence is likely
to floor them and cause quite scanial in
the church.
Misunderstood.
A New Orleans Sunday School Superln-
IL