The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1881-08-26
Getting . Wife for the Parson.

Aleck Williamson, q good-natured,
practical farmer, Is widely known about
Williamsport, Pa. He is very fond of q
practical joke.
Among his neighbors was an attract
i've young widow whom he thought he
ought to show some interest in, he being
firmly of the opinion that q widow Of
the qualities of this one was qualified to
make some mans life happy.
Meeting an acquaintance who was a
widower and = preacher, he accosted
him:
"Parson, by Halifax, do you know
what I think you want? You want .
wife,
"Pshaw," laugbingly responded the
reverend; 81 don't want wife, Mr.. VIII
hanson"
Eyes, you do, thought insisted the
other. ssYou want q woman to look af-
ter your house and relieve you from the
dismal life of q widower.
Granting that all you say is true,
Mr.. Williamson, how am I to get a
wife? don't know any one whom /
could get to marry me-"
"By Halifax!" was the ready response,
''yeu needn't let that little matter bother
you; there's Widow Blank, she would
marry you without any delay"
'Well, suppose you ask her." OBJ
served the lonesome shepherd.
"By Halifax, I'll do it." declared the
volunteer matrimonial negotiator, as he
passed on his way.
When he reached home and notified
his estimable and practical wife of the
delicate mission he was about to under
take, that lady promptly notified him
not to s'make fool of himse He,
however, was not the man to abandon
such an undertaking before finishing it,
and he lost no time In seeking the widow
and propounding the direct inquiry,
"Mrs. =, will you marry Preacher
.?"
The blushing widow answered, sWhy,
Aleck, he wouldn't want to marry me-"
"By Halifax, but he does, though"
said Aleck, "and he sent me to ask you
if you'll have him."
"Of course WILL" readily exclaimed
the widow.
This answer was quickly borne to the
who thereupon commissioned
Aleck to ask the widow how soon she
could be ready.
The obliging widow informed the am
bassador that she could be ready at
once, and an early time was designated
for the ceremony, full report of the ar
being submitted to the
groom prospective.
This gentleman was satisfied with the
and named q certain Justice
whom he wished to have the ceremony
performed by.
by Aleck, who insisted upon engaging .
newly commissioned German Justice,
who had never officiated in such . ca
pacity.
The reverend victim accepted tho
without making an appeal
or calling the yeas and nays, and the
Teutonic official was secured for the all
important occasion.
With . conscientious desire to faith
fully perform al the duties devolving
upon him by virtue of his Office. he
squared himself to the task. At the very
outset, however, he was hopelessly
wrecked upon the intricate forms in such
made and provided.
Luckily for the perplexed magistrate,
the groom happened to be gentleman
Of professional As well As personal expe-
rience in tho performance of the mar
rage rites, and he kindly instructed the
official, who was thus enabled to COM
plete the job.
The whole proceeding was hugely en-
ioyed by Aleck, who made heroic efforts
o avoid showing how immensely tickled
be was.
Upon being informed by the Parson,
} day or two after the wedding, that he
vas highly pleased with the result, Aleck
Ielt the happiness which always follows
The performance of . benevolent action.
md exclaimed, with one of his benign
,huckles: "By Halifax, I knew you'd
be satisfied. Aleck always knows what
al Dnv.o0vn