davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Osceola times., 1881-11-05
The Times for 1880.

The Printer Adwstiser says: "Englishmen
are not famous for great jokes, but one
has recently been perpetrated in London
which is really admirable, and the result
of vast amount of hard work. II con-
sists of the issue of a copy of the London
Times for 1880, Of the full size of the
'Thunderer,' and closely resembling it in
every feature, even down to the obscur.
est advertisements. The editorials, Ian.
guage and style, are closely copied, and,
in dealing with matters 100 years to come,
presents some fine satirical hits at things
of the present day.
"rhe House Of Lords becomes the
House of ladies' and generally the
other sex seems TO have got the upper
hands Of The world. The center of fash
ion is transferred to Feeiee, and the FASH
ion notes from the island capital are de-
cidedly funny.
"The progress of invention is shown
hv the news Of battle in the Arctic re-
pions. and the capture of the north pole,
trans uitted in thoughtOnomic dissylla-
bles by our special Photographic artist
Travelling is done mostly through the
air. and penny excursions are offered TO
all parts Of the world.
"rhe advertisements are among the
best features ofthe Joke, and include such
as Greek Taught at One
Session. Headache Cured in One Min.
ute The Patent Masticators,' Elephants
Mix Burning Glasses for Making Hay,
Traps for Fleas,' Postal Balls tfor send
ing messages by canon, notices of 'Ex-
cursions from London 20 Jericho Seven
Hours with the EsquimauN,' Lunar Ex-
petitions Balloons for the EPSON
Races and a multitude of other novel
tiesD
The Osceola times., 1881-11-05
TRYING TO Heat a Tollgate Keeper.

"When went from Carson TO Bodie,
Cal., on hors oback," said Major Max,
"the road was not very good, the toll
houses on either side were numerous,
and when | had travelled few miles |
knew my money would soon give out,
as each toll man assessed me from 81 to
S. ! resolved TO retronch. The mex
toll man, who came out on palr of
stills, vel ed ont, Foot or horseback -
Foot, says al hough knew my horse
was still under me, for could see his
ears stici out above the mud once in q
while. Well. in that way escaped paw
ment for a ong lime, telling the lollmcu
whether they asked me or not. that !
was travelling afoot. Every thing Sent
smoothly until at toll house whcrc 5
big, burly rascal came out on stlts aud
cirfying shotgun. just as | hal a
sured him that | WAS afo)t, The mustang
| rode stretched his whole head CGt e.
the mud fpr a br, ath Of air. n,v,f
felt so mortified in my life, but ] could
not blame the horse, Tor it hadn't taken
a breath for forty miles. The man lev
cled ms gun st me and remarked: Yer
nice party 10 tIv and beat an honest
TOLL eepcr out Of 80. How ye expect
we're ptin' to keep this road lR order il
We don't get paid for it 2"
The Osceola times., 1881-11-05
Playing with Fire.
Dc no cst's Monthly.

They have discovered a kind of illu-
mihaior in France, which gives light
bui which does not CT nsume. 1t is 3
min, raj essence which, when put in q,
LAMP. gives hgbt when ignited through
u sick. NJ. Cordig, the inventor, after
filing and igniting a lamp, dashed it
-. sinsr the ceiling of the laboratory.
The III .zing iluid was scattered over the
u ur; and on the persons of the lockers
~ Ia, strange TO say, no one was burn
81 ~ sr,rched. A pocket handkerchief
was lber soaked in the fluid and set on
fire. A fierce fame resulted, but the
rock It handkerchief was uninjured. The
llrii wss then set on fire IN pail, and
the bysIapders plunged their hands into
the bnrnlng fame. A prickly sensation
followed, bat no scorching or burning
In short. the discovery has been made
Of light without heat, Of an artificial
fluid in which there is no danger Of an
artificial fluid in which there Is no dam
ger Of combustion. The occupation Of
insurance companies will be gone when
this huid Is in general Use.
The Osceola times., 1881-11-05
H0AR DEPARTMENT.
Night Air How Plants should be Dried
Home Decorations.

An extraordinary fallscy is the dread
of night air. What air can We breathe
at night but night air? The choice is
between pure night air from without,
and foul air from within. Most people
prefer the latter. An unsccountable
choice. What will they say if il is
proved to be true that fully one-half Of
all the diseases we suffer from are occa-
stoned by people sleeping with their
wIsdoss shut? An opened window,
most nights in the year, can never hurt
any one. In great cities, night air is
often the best and pnrest AIR TO be had
in twenty-four hours. | could better
understand shutting the windows In
town during the day than during the
night, for the sake of the sick. The ab-
sence Of smoke, the quiet, all tend to
make the night the best time for airing
the patient. One of our highest medi.
cal authorities on consumption and cli-
mate, has told ne that the air in London
is never so good as after 10 o'clock at
night. Always air your room then from
the outside air, If possible. Windows
are made to open, doors are made to
shuts truth which seems extremely
diff cult of apprehension. Every room
must be aired from without-every pas
sage from within. But the fewer pas
sages there are in hospital the better.
The Osceola times., 1881-11-05

himself, the old Queen Of the Turl, who
for months had not allowed any one to
approach her, bounded TO him, rubbing
her head upon his shoulder and her nose
in his face, playing with bis whiskers,
and showing by her every action how
oyefjoyed she was to see her old friend.
She was very jealous Of her foal, and
would not permit any one else to come
near it; but when Cochrane placed his
hand upon the little fellow she seemed
delighted. When he left the place the
mare followed him to the gate, whinny-
ing for him even after he had passed out
of sight.
The Osceola times., 1881-11-05
THE PHANTOM OK.
ny THEODORE rriroN.

lIn Norway it is u superstition among tn
peasants that spectre In the form OF whit
OK glides through villages and iarinsi and iha
any person on whom be breathcs VIII At one
sicken and DIE
"whai frightcns you in from your play M
child
Your lips are pale, and YOUR eyes are via
Oh, why do you iremnlc so'
Dear mother while was wadlng the brook.
For lilies along the brink,
ghastly OK with deathly look,
Came down 10 the stream to drink,
sThe creature was no, Of flesh aud bones,
But palcr than crS sial glass
saw through his body the trees and stones
And moses and meadow grass.
lie wander'd round and wherever he went
He stepped with 20 light tread
No harchcll under hi foot was bent,
No violet bow d lS head.
He cast no shadow upon the ground,
No image upon the stream.
His lowing was fainter han any sound
That ever was heard In dream.
II quivor'd and quaked In every limb
knew not whether TO hee'
The further away shrank from him,
The nearer he came TO Inc.
MY beautiful lilies he snin d and smclr
His breath was chilly and fresh,
His horns rs they touched me softly, iclt
Like isicles 10 my lesh.
81 shiver'd with cold, burn'd win fame,
| calle a upon God aud lunn
But nobody heard and nobody came,
And then ! started and fan.
81 mashed through the water acres the brook,
And high on the shelving shore
I s,opucd and Vcnturcd tn look back
In hope 10 see him no more.
"IIe walked in my wake on the top of the Hood
And followed me mp the bank
A blast from his nOstris froze my blood
My spirit within me sank.
Il hid IN the r,cds o mother dear,
But swift as a whif Of air
He followed there He follows me here
He follows me everywhere
"oh frown at him, Tighten him, drive hin
away!
He's coming in at the door"
And down tell the lad In sWoon, and ,ay
Al his mothers feet on the floor.
The mother looked round her, dazed ant
dumb
She saw but the empty chair
Yet knew II the phantom OK had come
The shadow OF death was there.
"she caught the pallid boy to her breast,
And pillow a him on his bed
The whitc-tyed moon KEEP, watch in the west
The beautiful child lay dead
The Osceola times., 1881-11-05
Prices Under the Confederscy.
Columbia 6. c. Register.

A friend sends us the following circu'
lar, aud writes: Provisions are high
now. but they might be worse; for ex-
ample, notice the inclosed:
"C9NFEDERArE STATES OF AEERICA, SuB-
sIsrENcE DEPARTMENT, RICHMOND, Va,
September 90 lS6i.-The following pri-
ces, being the average Of late schedules
established by commissioners, for states
east Of the Mississippi river, with cost Of
transportation included, will be charged
for subsistence stores sold to officers,
under the act Of February II, 1854, aud
amendments in Virginia, North Caro-
lima. South carolina, Florida, Georgia,
Alabama, Mississippi and East Iouisi-
ana, until further orders. Bacon $3.50
per pound; fresh beef 20 cents per pound;
tlour $40 per barrel; corn meal 81 90 per
buskel Of 80 pounds; rice 80 cents per
pound; peas $3.50 per bushel OF %
pounds; sugar So per pound; coffee s.
per pound candles 1925 per pound;
soap 81 per pound; vinegar $3.50 per
gallon; molasses $40 per gallon; salt so
cents per pound.
The Osceola times., 1881-11-05
Goldsmith Maids Affection.

A touching story is told Of the famous
mare, Goldsmith Maid. When she was
visited by Charley Cochrape, .who for
many years had charge Of her. il was ar
ranged that she should hear his voice
before she saw him; and although they
had been separated Tor two years, a loud
whinny ing proclaimed that she had rec-
oynizeil him. When Coehrane showed
The Osceola times., 1881-11-05
Auilfr of Mrnnr.

Some people have fashion Of Coz fusing
excellent remedies with the large mass Of
"pnt.lt m, dicines,' and in this they are
guilty Of a wrong. There are some siver-
tised remedies fully worth all that is asked
for them, and one at east We know of-Hop
Biters. The Writer has had occasion to use
the Bitlers in just such a climate as we
have most ~ tie year In Bay City, end has
always found III IN to be fist class and
reliable. doing all that is claimed for them.
The Osceola times., 1881-11-05

A MEMBER Of parliament thinks a
good way to fight the rowing taste for
noxious fiction among the poor classes
would be TO establish children's libra
ries lie offers S., 800 towards a trial of
the theory in connection with the Not
ungham University aud Free Library
scheme.
The Osceola times., 1881-11-05
a Goose story.


Few governmt ntal institutions in Ger
many, organized with a view to meet
public requirements, are conducted in
30 large-hearicd spirit, as the imperial
post office. This department compIe.
hensiyely fulfills the functions ofn ma,
tlonal carrier, and viii take charge OF
and deliser at its address apy and every
description Of article. In the Father
land an elephant or a canary bird may
be sent hy post as readily as a letter or
a newspaper. DR.. stephan, ives believe,
draws the line ut savage carnivOra or
yenomous snakes; but bis tllicials daily
transmit beasts, BIRDS and fishes, alive or
dead, OF harmless character, from one
plit of Germany to another. Some few
weeks agoa goose was posted in Berlin.
Being insufliciently addressed, it could
moi be delivered, nor, strange to say,
could its original owner be traced; so.
uttera certain period Of time had cxpir-
ed, 1t was put up for sale to defray ex-
pen>cs OF inquiry. The official actingas
auctionecr held it up by its neck 20
show of its points, having united its
wings before doing 50, and. as IT Teyolv-
ed in bis grasp, discovered, TO his sur
prise, a small paper parcel that had been
hidden away under its left pinion. On
opening this package it was found to
contain three thousand, five hundred
marks-about el75-in bank notes, The
authorities have not yet succeeded in
discovering the eccentric parsonage who.
having entrusted a defunct goose with
the conveyance Of 50 important sum
to lis or her fIiend in the provinces, did
rot even take the necessary measures to
insure the foolish birds safe arrival at
rs destination. Not to address a goose
properly before posting il, is surely the
height Of NEGLIGENCE.
The Osceola times., 1881-11-05

A Sourn CAROLINE woman cured her
husband of intemperanoe by putting
concentrated lye in his whisky.
The Osceola times., 1881-11-05

WORKSHOPS are being attached to a
certain number of the Communal schools
of Paris, in which each pupil will receive
a professional education that will enable
him to become an excellent workman
after a short apprenticeship. A profess
sional school for girls has existed since
May, Of the present year, in the Rne Nio-
let, and the results have been 80 satisfac-
tory that C attempt is 10 he tried ON a
large scale.
The Osceola times., 1881-11-05
AL,cEt Alackl

ALAcK, Alackl
You naughty tack,
To stand upon your head.
With point in air
The foot TO tear
OF ZONES, who lies in bed.
full well YOU know
That you viii 70
His pedestal right through,
And make him swear
And turn the air
About the room all blue.
An there he goes,
Pulls OF the clothes
Ills feet approach the goOl.
oh. hear the row
The iron now
Has entered Jones sole.
Boston IfnnscriDt.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1881-08-24
Absolute Indemnity Agai,s. Fire.
Facts for the Consideration of
Property Owners


The Insurance Company of North
America of Philadelphia, was established
in 1874 and has had over Sugars Of prac-
teal experience, during all of which time
it has paid 100 cents on the dollar
The Insurance Company of North
America, of Philadelphia, possesses &C.
tual cash assets to the amount of $1,000,
936 20, all of which is available for fire
losses
The Insurance Company Of North
America, of Philadelphia has net sur
plus over all liabilities of $2,454oo242;
that is, the company could reinsure all Of
It's risks, return It's capital to stockholders
and have this amount left.
The Insurance Company of North
America, of Philadelphia, conducts its i'm
mense business at an expense of less than
~ per cent on its income, being lower
ratio than that of any of its competitors,
the average being over 40 per cents.
The Insurance Company Of North
America, of Philadelphia, has an income
OF over 81, 600. 600 90 per annum, being the
largest of any similar institution, by over
81 100000
The Insurance Company of North
America. of Philade phia, has paid for
| losses, since organization, over $50 ,UtO
The Insurance Company of North
America, of Philadelphia, issues a plain
and simple policy, containing no technical
conditions, and meets all honest losses in
spirit of commercial honor promptness
and liberality
The Insurance Company of North
America, Of Philadelphia is an agency
company. 1t has been in the field great
many years and never abandons an agen-
cy where foothold is once obtained.
The Insurance Company of North
America, of Philadelphia insures none
but the best classes of property, making
specialities of Dwellings, Farm Property,
Public Buildings, Brick Stores and stocks,
and productive Manufacturing establish
mentS.
The Insurance Company of North
America. of Philadelphia, does an exclus-
lively cash business, receiving cash for its
contracts, and paying cash when losses &C.
cur
Ask for Policy in this Old and Re
liable Company.
VIM. L. NORRIS,
Agent for the city of Watertown and vicinity
Main and I'd Streets.
Policies written in this Old and reliable COM
pany on short notice and favorable terms.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1881-08-24
DR.. A.G.OLlN

Dol, SOUTH CLARK-ST., CHICAGO, ILL.
CONFIDENTIAL PHYSICIAN. vertwenty years in
special practice, devoting his entire attention to
all CHRONIC, NERVOUS and URINARY diseases.
Young, middle-aged or old men suffering from
NERVOUS DEBILITY, PREMATURE DECAY, from
excuses exposures, indiscretiOns, or any other
causes cured safely, privately and at reasonable
charges. SYPHILITIC or MERCURIAL AFFECTIONS
of the throat, skin or bones, treated successfully
on the latest scientific principles. FEMALE
WEAKNESS, that bane of seven-tenths of the
American women which undermines their health
and strength and makes life burden, cured
PERMANENTLY. Consultation by letter or in per-
son-in all cases free of charge. The names of
patients never published by him. and he can
be consulted in perfect confidence. Address
with stamp as above.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1881-08-24
To Nervous uf1erers-The Great European Rem.
edy-Dr. j. s.. SIMPSONS SpecifseMeaicine.

DR.. r. B. Simpsons Specific Medicine is posi-
tive cure for SpermatOrrhea, 1mpotency, weak
ness and all diseases resulting from self-abuse,
as nervous debility irritability, mental anxiety,
languor, lassitude, depression OF spirits and
functional arrangements of the nervous system
generally. Ppin in the back or side loss of
memory premature old age ana diseases that
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1881-08-24
WANTED +!

A Cheese Maker, who knows his business
thoroughly, and is reliable in all respects, to en-
gage in the manufacture of Cheese IN the EN-
met Factory situated in the town of Emmett,
Dodge County, Wisconsin, miles North of Wa
tertown Employment at a good salary Will be
given during the entire season.
THOMAS RHODES,
P, o. Address, WatertSwn. Wis.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1881-08-24
A Lecture 10 Young Hen on the loss
r.. g Fl II
6 B B 81 g - b - d ~ ..

4 LECTURE on THE NATURE. TREATMENT, AND
RADICAL cure OF Seminal Weakness, OF Spcrmo-
torrh9a, induced by Selt Abuse, Involuntary
Emissions, Impotency, NERVOUS Debility, and
ImpcdimentS of Marriage generally; Consump-
ton, EPILEPSY, and Fits Mental and Physical
Incapcity: sc BY ROBERT J. CULvERWELT4 NJ
D.. author Of the Green Book &c.
The worldrenowned author, in this admirable
Lecture, clearly proves from his own experience
that the awful consequences of Self Abuse may
be cured be efltctually removed without surSic-
a! operations. bougies instruments rings, or
cordals; pointing out q mode of cure at once
certain and effectual, by which every sufferer,
no maher what his condition may be, may cure
himself cheaply. privately and radically.
Nq- This Lecture lcU pr0res q boon TO thousands
ant thousands.
Sent under seal, in plain envelope. to any
address, on redeipt of six cents, OF two postage
stamps. WE HAVE ALsOA CURE SURE FOR TAPE
WORM. Address
THE CULVERWELL MEDICAL co.
Il ANN ST, NEW YORK, \. v; Post Office Box
1856.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1881-08-24

lead to con1
ssumption, an
early grave or or
both. Nom
ter owshatter-.
ed the System
may be from
excuses of any.
kind, a short,
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1881-08-24
An EXTRAORDINARY Q!!EB,l

Until January LIST, 1881, we will send to any
reader of this paper splendid Imitation Cold
" atCl and Chain for So SO Seven shot Gold
Mounted Revolver for So %. A Complete Set of
Works handsomely hound and Illus
tratcd, FOR So. -Four SETS Of beautiful lOnian
JeWelry GALL difIereuO for IS cents. Or we viii
send all four for SD. This offer will only last
during the holidays, ana is made for the pur-
pose of introducing our goods. Order az once.
Address, L. =. MANUFACTURING COMPANY, 1l6
Snlithtield ST., Pittsburgh. Pa.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1881-08-24

0cN week in your own town. Terms and
pOo s. outfit free. Address II. HAL-.ETT IL
Co. Portland Maine.
Bristol news. [volume] (Bristol, Va. & Tenn.) 1867-189?, 1881-03-22

We desire to call the attention Of our
readers TO the grand holiday offer of the
Mcndelsshon Piano Company, whose
advertisement appears elsewhere. This
Company offers an $3.50 Square Grand
Piano, Stringed "a octarsS, in n hand
some rosewood case, for only S2i5, also
many other styles Of Pianos and Organs
at great bargains for the Holidays, in
Guiding sheet music at onc-third price.
These Pianos, including Giand,
Square and Upright, made one of the
finest displays at the Centennial EXhlbi-
ton, and were ,&idnimoUSW recommends
ed for the Diploma Of Honor and Metal
Of Merit.
The MENDwssouT PIANO Co. arc the
first to do general business with the
purchaser direct, saving him more than
oae-hdlt the price charged by other first
class makers. This saving Is made by
doing away with the Agency System,
and giving the people the Pianos at
Wholesale or Agency prices.
We would recommend any Of our
rcaders who have any idea Of ever buy
ing u piano or organ, TO send for their
Illustrated and Descriptive Catalogues,
which will be mailed free to all.
Bristol news. [volume] (Bristol, Va. & Tenn.) 1867-189?, 1881-03-22

} whip over an American Senator. ZAP
plause. The utterances were an insult.
That gentle had been chosen as a Union
man to the State convention, and had
cast the vote which had carried Georgia
into the rebellion, and from that day to
this he had learned nothing, either of
consistency or constitutional duty, or of
the propriety of personal behavior. APP
plause on the Republican side. The
gentleman had undertaken comparison
between the position of the Senator from
Illinois (Mr. Davis and that Of the new
Senator from Virginia, with much hon
led commentator of the former. The
Senator from Illinois was elected by a
Legislature of a State which had an av-
erage Republican majority of from co.
600 to 100000.
Mr.. Davis-rhe Republicans were not
in the majority in that Legislature.
They were numerically in the pleurali-
| ty, and it was the Independents and the
Democrats of that body who elected me-
Mr.. Hoar-The people of Illinois were
then and are now largely Republican.
am not criticising the Senator from IL
linois. l should deem ii unworthy of
! me to do so. He has thought it his duty
to cast his vote for the Democratic or
ganization of this body, although rs he
has infor ned us, it was rcpugnant to his
taste and his judgement in many partic-
ulars. The Senator from Virginia who
owes his seat to Il State which cast 81 900
Republican votes and 1000 Independ-
cnt Democratic or readjustment votes,
as against 1000 Bourbon, or regular
nnn,nnpnti,, xyAtng will 10
so) for the organization that commends
itself to his taste aud judgement. That
Is the only difference between the two |
Senators, and that Is the only logic of
the Senator from Georgia. There are
Democrats in the South who mean to |
vote down man with whom they differ |
but do not mean TO assassinate them. |
There are Democrats in the South who |
mean to live in the nation and not in an |
aggregation of petty provinces any long
or. There are Democrats in the South |
who do not mean to live any longer in !
grave-yards and among tOmbs, whose |
face is towards the morning and on
whose brow the rising sunlight Of fu-
ture generations of this country already |
begins to be visible. OF such Demo-
Gratis the ardnt courier Of this column has
already reached the Senate chamber.
After long waiting and yearning the Re
puhlicans of the North desire to stretch
forth a friendly hand. That desire is
inspired by no miserable ambition for
office or for political victory, but by n
spirit Of patriotism which loves the
North. 1t is spirit of a united, not u
divided country. It's in the spirit Of
the future, not Of the past. 1t is in the
spirit Of union, and not of scctionalism.
We are holding out our hands to the
brave and noble Democrats of Virginia
whose Representative took his seat to-
day on this floor.
Mr.. Cameron, Of Pennsylvania, NOV
ed to 90 into executive session. Reject
od--ayes 80, nays 81.
Bristol news. [volume] (Bristol, Va. & Tenn.) 1867-189?, 1881-03-22
H'0/eSSsOn0I C0raS.
JOHN G. SUMMERS,

A ttorney-at-1Iaws
WILL pracuce in the County and Circui,
Courts of Washington, Scott, Smythe and
Russell Also in the Court Of Appeals and
U. s. District Court.
Special attention paid to suits in Bank
ruptcy. Office Main Street, Abingdon, Va.
Sep. 23-ly