Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1881-11-10
AN ACCESSION TO THE FAMILY.
A Daughter Comes Into the SpoOpen.
dyke Family.

A Daughter Comes Into the SpOOpeu
dyke Family.
"Well, well, WELL" said Mr.. Spoopen
dyke with grin, that involved tn,
whole head, and an effort at the tip-to'
tread that shook the whole house. "AnC
SO it's girl, my dear"
Mrs. Spoopendyke smiled family an(
Mr. Spoopendyke picked up his heiress
Its the image of yOu," she said, re
garding with some trepidation Mr.
Spoopendyke's method of handling the
infant.
81 don't see how you make that out,
said Mr.. Spoopendyke gravsly. 81 don't
know when my nese looked like the
thumb part Of boiled lobster claw. Dc
l understand you that my eyes bear any
resemblance to the head Of a screw?"
II mean the general features" mur.
INJURED Mrs. Spoopendyke.
"The general features seem to be all
mouth" retorted Mr.. Spoopendyke. ex-
amining his acquisition. If our general
remind you of an earthquake. Hi!
kitcheel kitcheel What makes her fold
up her legs like that?"
"She can't help it." responded Mrs.
Spoopendyke. They'll straighten out
in time"
mo time like the present" quoted Mr..
Spoopendyke, and he took his daughters
feet and commenced pulling her limbs.
II don't want any bandy-legged first in
this family while am at the head of
It."
Naturally the baby began to CRY, and
Mr.. Spoopendyke essayed to soothe it.
'"Hil kitcheel kitch-z-ew he chirruped
you'll have to get that mouth rooted in
before cold weather. What's the matter
with her, any way?"
Perhaps you hurt her. Let me take
her, please" pleaded helpless Mrs.
Spoopendyke.
"She's doing well enough. Hi Topsy,
Genevieve, Cleopatra, dry upl I'm going
to have trouble breaking this young
ones temper, can see that. Here! bend
the other way oncep and Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke tried to straighten up his offspring
without avail.
"Let her come to me, do please"
moaned Mrs. Spoopendyke, and Mr..
Spoopendyke was forced to hand her
over.
swell, that's quite baby" said be,
nursing his knee aud cycling the infant.
"What're those bumps over the eye for ?
What preponderznce of intelligence do
they represent?"
"You mustn't talk so," demonstrated
Mrs. Spoopendyke. "She's the hand
soonest baby you ever saw"
"Well, she's got to stop biting her
nails before she goes any farther with
this procession. Here, take your hands
out of your mouth, can't you? WHY
don't you put her hands DOWN."
why, all babies do that" exclaimed |
Mrs. Spooyendyke. "Yeu can not help
that"
"I'm going to try" said Mr. Spoopen-
dyke, land don't want to be interfered |
with in bringing the child up. Here,
you. Maud S. Bonsetter. put your hands
in your pockets. Don't let me see any
more nai[chewing, or you and I'll get |
mixed up in an argument. She gets that
from your family, Mrs. Spoopendyke"
"Say, dear, don't you want to go and
order some things?" asked Mrs. Spoop-
endyke.
No. rejoined her husband, 81 want
to see this youngster. Where's its chin
Do babies always have their upper jaw
set right on their shoulders? Kitcheel1
kitcheei Her scalp comes clear to the
bridge of her nose. I don't believe she's
quite right Where's her forehead n
Great Mosesi Her head is all on the
back partl Say, that baby's got to lie
pressed. That's no shape"
"Get away" explained Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke, Indignantly. 'She's perfect an
gel. There's nothing in the world the
matter, with her."
"0f course you know" growled Mr..
"You don't want anything
more than fog-horn and misspent ap-
to be an orphan asylum. If
had your faith and the colic I'd make
a living as a foundling's homel She'll be
Did enough to spank in week, won't
she?"
mo she WON'T said Mrs. Spoopen-
iyke. shell never be old enough for |
that
'I'll bet she WILL" grunted Mr.. Spoop |
sndyke. "If she isn't she'll get it before 7
The natures up to that period. That's
Ill. Let me take her: Here, let's have t
her," :
But Mrs. Spoopendyke fatty refused. g
Keep your dod gasted baby. thenr' I
'oared Mr.. Spoopendyke. "If you know \
more about babies than do, then keep ]
ler. The way you coddle her one would
hink she was new paste for the CON- +
'lexion. If you had one more brain and 4
handle, you'd make fair rattle boxl e
Nit you up with broken sofa and v
'reass spot and you'd do for a second 4
and nursery" q
And Mr.. Spoopendyke started off to n
nd his friend Specalwottle, who con- a
ratulated him, and started off with him v
D assist in the selection of an overcoat v
nd pair of ear muffs as precautionary @
gainst the approaching winter.-Ij,