davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
, 1881-01-29
pfolsdent Hayes and His Sou Webb.
lfiiluslukfA i1knuhifcdn.

= = - 1lI{Nhllks1 IETPQ1i1FHH. .
IiAyea has changed since the day that he aJ,-
liaalet. .hu Is waxing tut aud scant us hrtYlth
hia dress. suit strclunes to lts sAouthcst n1tult
u,pi tisinS uver Ills Gu!lar III tel!tap way. All
tho prcsldcnts grow fat, III the White Ita,.sc
gDlnalhluy In !t1 lr scouting to ugreo with then
gray, tho r0llcs IT thRir pristine ,anincsA 'lt-
Guiv!nx vtle ae IN tho extent of tho ravaxes.
u hl4 uuHust spouse, aud In contrast to thu style
Ut tho day he parts bis hntr ut sds vide. ocytti-
mug little a6oyU thu left cur anu running thu
linu around lilo buck af hia head allutxt l0 the
othur e.sr. Webb Hayes, who aEelted hero Ii
NV and unare.t sos.sty recruit wfsh a y sa',. !.
lha elo,rest and freshest skEu aud suust enKae-
il,y laultl,urs or u!ay youth who trrats lho,r
cart,elx, "Why, WaI,' linyoa IL MlsAost haua
Ant,io." pxolallnctl u lAuy With u rising lnlftA
tlon and tho Htrof making u su,lAvA dlsc0vGy.
~ sho aaW HUT fAll!t!e5ly. .Att!rca youth ls:ut
CveT u faIF ladys hail1.
, 1881-01-29

Of nfEairs, antl personally bcsougtt mc1nters
Governor The Iieutcilailt-tloveri,o openly
nyowtd That hD lad mt l,nd the
experience which WOULD rcn'irr him conlpe-
unv. 1,c,i,ison dill NJ. go to tho Senate.
And It is fortnnate thing for the S!ntc n,Nl
Mutton TINT lIo r..naiued at home: fns, na
War.tsoverrGr Ut Oliu, llu won Nil TIM l,nn-
stdos being Of great service to l,is Slale.5
, 1881-01-29
TO THE PUBLIC.

ct Dr. Railways Old established Ii. Il. Ii. Rea.t-
aiea than tha base and worthless limitations Of
kssu. A. there ar0 Fulse Aeso!yents, ltelleta,
that h9 name kxaxAs" u W NhAk IQ0 hp1s
, 1881-01-29
FEVER and AGUE,

There is not reu,pllul nEpnt In this world that
will c.re Fewer and AKuo md I'll other MnlnEl-
; iovsfs aui % Gy riIIS, Ls 20 auIsRl3 Ia
~ AsiiADWAY'H READY HELtEF.
FIFTY CENTS PER BOTTLE.
, 1881-01-29
ITALY.
Nice-The Opera, and the Prom.
enade des Anglais.
Arezzo-Its Works Of Art-Petraroh,
Vnsari, and Michael
Angelo.
Urbtn and the Academic 1enpltnolesque.-
The Municipal Council Of
Viutrl.
Posaro and Rimini-Milan and the Monu.
ment to tho 1900 Garibaldiana Of
Montana.

MNntA0H.
!
sptefat Correspondence q The C7fea7o Tribune.
NICE, Dec. 2h-Notwfthstatdtng tho in!ld
woathcr III lar'ss m unus1'al number OF VISITORS
from that clt nrc only arriving here. III antct-
pauon OF ofIlt'ant sens01ls which Will no uollbt
be realized IN Wow Ut tho cxtenhlve prepara-
lions on every hnn1. Holcs nro vyli,K will eneh
other In tho'r luxurious arrangements, theatres
hfe announcing extraordinary attractions, wa'Io
u series of munster tetes arc to commence next
inohth. unocr tho special management Of 81.
UoFfiEl!one. 3a{of or Nice. vi tito occasl0n Sf
Tue 'i'auEufnIoh OF tue new tni1icfpnl! ". eattt
nha Nlcottfl hnVo chRa4cu apartments nj tho
eosmopolltan liotcl. ond Will commence an en-
EnRenoht NJ tho Italian Uporn OH Jun. D, TO cos.
tllue uht'l tao Ihth. p" LII sonnhmbn'a' and
20 Trnnvero" are announced; but we arc not
set favored Win information regarding tho ot1-
efas which arg 10 follow. Durln1 the last week
III JanuarF. MIne. Urban Will appear In " LII
Fhsorltc' anu "NoFn'n": subsequent to which
eneagth'eht' MIC. Anoant,"hoso hrllllant aebatt
h'st seaF WIS tue artistlc event OF The aeaaoit.
WI aRa'n lasof ua III "faus1' "Auo!e' anu
h''' oo.''.'s''ins' ,,' ~ 1u.noae" Iua. olo
.'h .os"tns1 .n. a.tlt. no"au" VIII att"" ~
.'1ee aIter ta ie'es VI tao +nFnl',' aho p'n'onE
~. ~ %uo oPes" ""''' 'ho e'o'o VI
mo seasofl.
II posslb'os toiiets aro more dazzling and
iHoNsSApE DIES .ASuiAH -
ros beforc tho vicw more bewtldcriny. than In
for,ncr ycnrs Tho tuot1ca of tho Inv. tycn In Mi
tholr glare and glitter. proluce tho must pict-
1'resquo effect III tholr present harmonious
arrangement; nnd morc fascinating scene can
w,,h ~ W ~ Ma, ,ua M an's s'u"uo
s,,ns ',.a.a. ~. - a, 49,, .'..
, 1881-01-29
,,,,, Gov. Foster Go into Pres
W." ;dcnt Garfcld's Cabi-
pct2
ps,ninipcenco. Of the sherman-
n,unison Contest for the Son
atorship.
4h. principal Candidates for Governor
= md other state. Offices In
Iowa.
.,..., n, Wilson to Have Portfolio
''' under the New National Admin
istEation.
OHIO.

hr''' ~, I'd -t1st,, n,,l1tt ctauo
C0Lu,HrS. W, ''"'i. so-Ano p"'s'I,""s p,;,
tsnnot agree rs 10 Whe,hcs rosaea WIZ ~
Into the casl'le1 OF oen. n"ai.eiu -. no''
TIE 1'sAsons :. J., W." aa,,nh ~ ,,,.t ~ 1,ro.,
nc ample Wi'e'. II - ~ Ns"s't tli'.s s.n
denteect IS lna oosu.l. s'si ,.t'a' w.. H.
vas It uot te uoyo'"pi ..u Mosn M. ~
money thae &ayo 'he Msp"Dss y, ts.,, .us,v a,, ,'a
Tho State nna ,'es's,su 1f'.t., ". ,a. Sm s"nn.asS
Gen. iar'e,a y o.a -. 1."..' ,"... o.o,' ,,na,,
Would tlc fresl'len1e.eet nMse ~ ese;, r.s,an us.n
elected, II hon''aa,Ge' .aa ~ u'', :. to..e.
mado I'is 1e'l'".k.p,J IT, 1,n!,aaa W ~ Us ~"
esen pfo'aoe .''t to !.spno..a"o .Tont T.. -. ~
State %oaiu h' i,'nuo s ~. .'.,,,s =. na, ,.
nonlnalioh ~ easneo 'u.s eri H., '.s" ..,.os
Charley Fosior put tis ai!o".ae' " 1ao Ml,e u
ud ll'tea ule pul1s o"s y. as, aas ".sm nen., -
bail been 1nllhing III io1 sesstm ssMs'
The oF1aslA"''oa as,a WI ~ ss'.o w.. .,,n..ass,
ened by nl1e''la1 a.s nleAs. s A,I 5....',s,..
THAT haSc peeti 50 suecess.ui ~ sMai'p'k
The Democracy ti!at u "us sust upp'o"csia''s
that point ~ ,ss hss.o wn.a lo' .t ~ soa,a
hare sayea lt 1roih usst'ustl". pne , 'iu ~. ~
fuso!l OF ne" o'ooa a'iu ~ "sw NV, l's.,oas. i4ap
PLY tic 1eiltuS e'''l'e ~ ''."e' o"' 'o"' Wv
early. w 4 .,. T., T.,
Foster. on Ills accouh'' pc1n"ps' ~ AL
great measure ,-----.s
ENTITLED 10 Any pLAeE
he mlgh. ues!1o "loei VIZ euinu,s ta~'.',!'o
tra'lon; but IL does hot hppeaF nat ~ ~ Nv
all ANXIOUS 10 60 .o ae 1nt c has ~
nillcu ~ e'v" 10 1"s!s' +'''s ~ .s ...s
whlcl Getl+ d"t!iciu canfot. resist; a1sa t!'at
~ .s,i ~, po.t.f,fr1co no,,a rtr,rut il also
to ct''tiol u'o i"at@oaeo Dota t''ln 70 a''u
concefea' n''t Ao" "o"Ht n's mlt'r'n"nA
lIon' 1I. 1"I ''to ~ ia ~ o,n1mn, hv ma,,v thot
lssa,"eu. ,is,,.a.s.t - - Ga,,orsau rnn 1i;r,s'
should lno Aleusshantrno'c.nol, Non. ,iss'
elloopcr, sacceea fostoF, mo ioFAsefs au~
n'n'statlon ofte ons o,lee w would be
Tin 1tcmtannnt.f f;oyernor ia Int ll,tio known
outside oil llls towh. Clheihnn,l, Allu " can-
nut bc expected that he Should lave that sup"
port that i,.s madu Gov. Fosters Admlnistra-
W. " s""I h ~ sn5J ~ ha"nvor +ho+ ccn 11,cton.
II eau ue snIt' Mo"esol' tilat aen: 4a'eheh>
looper Is less criticised now thala 1orlnerly.
DNglng the prescnt session Of tic General
mase nrss thc senntc to- mich mara than he ti,1 Inst
vasi u' as ~, -, Naa.,a., ...a IT, ,n.oattn,,
winter; aud t!ls Is regarded ns an li1alchtfon
by mans that he expects to atep higher ut an
.aEly day. ...,
ual1ta ntates oehate, put lt Goes no. appear
Aat there Is any fmmedinto chance Tor linn
IN that direction, unless Sherman should
,lua]e of, and there docs not seen, to be any
e.wa saa ana'Ga.qh @aaP tnnt h Will 10 So lof
'e9ls iao NJ enSt; ,,,tn no,t,o
man, af fsw .,aYs ss sIiee. CIV VIC. by tile WV, wns
GaS So UNI ts Tsrs 10 tic caSnet ts ee
hIMsn 'titt41utGu s"hu ~ ""o otAoAb's ~ s1o
, 1881-01-29
DIR. RADWAY'S
SARSAPARILLIAN
RESOLVENY.
The GREAT BLOOD PURIFIER.
Changes as Seen and Felt, ns
they Duly Occur, Aft
er Using q Few
Doses.

]. Good Spirits, disappearance of wenknesA
an9unf: t..9, fneanc9aiy 'ncreaas aud hardnessof
~ Strength e, nsr:ases, annette improves. ri.
t6f II s9T s sa Hf Msf
aictp. awaken fresh and vigorous.
~. DisAppcnrancc Of spota. blotcbcs,, pimpies;
changed from III tIrbiJ and cloudy appearances
to etcar cherry or gtnhcr color; wnler passes
without pain Or scalIng; lttle nr no scdInent;
M phI,1 tir weakIIcss.
4. MARKED .lttnfnution Of quantity and fro.
aanent lug " st4eeesa esss' eskSteed il
sIo ses,s.ns t aanls ana Junction harmons re-
:. i. Ycii,w lingo On 4 tho whits of tho eyes, and
essnxsa g csr ssaay eoo
9. Those suffering from weak Or ulcerated
lungs o. sutercles VIZ realize great boneilt ~
throat or beSd: diminishing tho frequency d
ibS syste!a; ssoppNxa Il asbt. s%cats - asd psiat
and feciiuYe Of weakness around tho ankles,
es f. ;1sr sss 81 suss h 9f s1 sn
lie ninr"tns Xl tbesS dtstressIps e symptoms ] u
''.x ~ M ~ astss s,tn!y ay sS sHSssapAr1L1AN /.
taken GGw , s!an* ot returning hsa!1, w!'t appear:
81 t % ssxts nd II al ss.S !xn a1 md 'spxs pt
deposits. nos'es: tntnoFa. cuncers. hard umps.
; &C.; = M sesS,yG;l St svay: Sad ,ns unsonnd aaJs
=: il ease: where tno .uystStn has been sall-
!lfnaio haso accumulated aid become dcpastsd
Ill tho bones. joints. etc. causing carries Of this
.,otttcs. !icKets spna curynturea eontorto9sr
EA!,Altti.LlAH Will resolve away these deposits
and and ex!ertnlnate tho virus Of tho disease from
81. II those who are taking these medicines for
tho cure. uf Chronic, scFofuious, or syphlltIo
diseases. hnwcTcr atuw fnRy be the cure. " feel
fHftftrh aid find tnHr GENERAL health {fnNfNVfnV
, 1881-01-29
CONSUMPTION

Of the I.stnRs A,sl Tuberculous phtbistH, Ecrofu-
lA-Syiph[lold Diseases, WaasinH, DegcscsHt tion,
pugc " Water instantaneous relief affOrde,
whore cnthn'crs hute been used. thus 'lnng
away with the painful operation of usinm thcsI
Instruments. d!ssDlytng Stone In tho BLADDER;
mid In MI cngns nf
The Democratic advocate., 1881-03-26
Lard Cheese.

The following statement with regard to
the use Of lard 10 cheese making was
made recently at Albany by Assemblyman
Crapser, of St Lawrence county, before
the Assembly Committee on Public Health;
The main elements in cheese manufac-
tured from milk are caseine and fat. Rem
net is used to eoagulate. 1t is necessary
to add oil if a richer cheese is wanted.
We have never been able to do it in this
country until recently. Lard is now sub
stituted in place of cream or butter oil.
To 100 pounds of milk we add ] pounds
of lard, and have to buy the best lard we
eau. We get it at Chicago or elsewhere,
and it has to be deodorized by heat in the
usual way Steam-rendered lard is better
than kettle rendered. By the new pro-
cess 1t requires six to eight hours TO rem
der it, One would get pounds of cream
from 100 pounds of milk, and this 4
pounds is one-third caseine, so that about
2 pounds out of 100 is real oil. There
fore, 100 pounds Of skim milk and L!
pounds of lard will make 10 pounds Of
cheese, 1t makes good quality of cheese,
We have been able to sell all We could
make. We make saiable cheese out of
skim milk, aud so benefit farmers.
This new cheese is made from sweet
milk, from which cream has been removed
at 400 F., after standing twelve hours.
No chemicals are used in this process, ex-
cept some eoloring matter, which We make.
l have twenty one factories, and have put
them to making lard cheese as fast as pos
sible. We have to work on the sly, but
the honest farmer would not take any ad-
vantage We got along with them by
paying more for their milk than it was
worth. Seven Of my factories are now
making the lard cheese, which goes to
Chicago, Boston, New York, and Balti-
more. The fact that it was made of lard
sold the goods The skim cheese factories
in St. Lawrence use chemicals skim
med mine so close for butter that it could
not make salable cheese. This kind of
cheese we can sell to the middle classes,
but not to the millionaires. Lard can be
treated by difference of temperature and
not be injured like butter. To deodorize
the lard we blow hot steam through it.
We manufactured $500 boxes of 60 lbs.
each last year.
The Democratic advocate., 1881-03-26
Ten Gents a Day.

No matter how large your salary, you
will save nothing if you spend money too
freely. Men are continually indulging in
small expenses, saying to themselves, that
its only trihe, you forgetting that the
aggregate is serious, that even the sea.
shore is made up of petty grains Of sand.
Ten cents day is even thirty-six dollars
aud half year, and that is the interest
of a capital of six hundred dollars The
man that saves ten cents day only is so
he owned life estate in house worth
six hundred dollars; and if invested quar-
terly, does not take half that time But
ten cents day is child's play, some will
exclaim. Well, John Jacob Astor used
to say, that when a man, who wishes to be
rich, has saved ten thousand dollars, he
has wen half the battle. Not that Astor
thought ten thousand much, but he knew
that in making such sum, man ac-
quired habits Of prudent economy, which
would keep him advancing in wealth,
How many, however, spend ten thousand
in few years in extra expenses, and then,
on looking back, cannot tell, as they say,
"where the money went to-" To save is
to get rich. To squander, even in small
sums, is the first step toward the pOorhouse.
The habit of extravaganza is easily formed,
but almost impossible to break up.
The Democratic advocate., 1881-03-26
HOaIing a Manager.

Mr.. Henry c. Jarrett tells the following
story One evening, while the party were
playing at the Opera House in Detroit, a
small boy approached him and holding out
bis hand, exhibiting fifteen cents, said
please, mister, l would so much like
to see Cinderella, but that's all the money
I've got"
The boys manner touched Jarrett's ten
der spot, and after asking him two or three
times if that was all the money he had, and
receiving each time pitiful affirmative
answer, he gave him quarter The
boys countenance beamed with delight,
and he did not know how to express his
gratitude. Finally moving toward the
street, he said
"You don't know how thankful am,
sir. l am ever SO much obliged 10 you, sir;
but now that you have been SO generous, l
guess I'll go to the other theatre and see
Jack Sheppard
The Democratic advocate., 1881-03-26
ddit and 9umor,
Horse Chestnut and Rheumatism,

A couple of our solid citszcns-solid in
avoirdupois as well as in their bank ac-
counts-were in a horse-car a few days
since, when man came limping aboard
apparently suffering from rheumatism.
One of the solid men remarked:
Give never had a twinge of rheumatism
in my life, q" and at the same time he took
from his pants pocket horse chestnut and
displayed it with IN air that seemed to
imply, "this is the little joker that did the
business" But no sooner had solid citizen
No. l displayed his chestnut charm with
a contented air than solid citizen No. 3
also drew from his pantaloons pocket a
horse chestnut. Said the first citizen:
"I've carried that for thirty years"
$50 have l carried this for more than
thirty years," replied the other; but don't
carry mine for rheumatism; | carry it for
the gout."
A passenger who had been an interested
listener to the foregoing, rather timidly
asked one if he really believed there was
any value in the horse chestnut.
"No1 answered the man.
"Then why do you carry the thing about
with you?"
"Because it don't cost anything, and
can do no harm if it does no good"
at shows little superstition, though"
"Very well, I'll shoulder it. In the
meantime, I'll keep on carrying it. I've
carried it thirty years and have not been
troubled with rheumatism. And [ know
of others who can testify to the same good
result.
Then the lame man who had got aboard
the car and was the cause of this episode
put his hand into his pocket and drew cut
a horse chestnut and held it up to the
gaze of the others. A ripple of laughter
went up and the two solid citizens who had
PhohSu thSb idAth ~ tue nut anticipated
set back from the lame man. But the
latter remarked:
Don't laugh, gentlemen; l have faith
in the horse chestnut. | got sprain a
few days ago. My lameness is not from
rheumatism. had touch of rheuma-
tism, though, about ten years ago and l
went and got horse.chestnut and have
carried it in my pocket ever since. And,
gentlemen, I've never had the rheumatism
since"
Perhaps three men carrying horse chest
nuts is rather big average for one horse
car load of passengers, but there are more
masculines with these chestnut charms in
their pockets than Doctor Tanner in his
philosophy "ever dreamed of"-Hartorti
Times.
The Democratic advocate., 1881-03-26
Grows Either Wet or Dry.

ChiefJustice Mansfield, probably with
a view to prolOng his own days, was al
ways anxious, when old witnesses were in
court, to know their customary habits of
of life. 1t so happened that two very old
men by the name of Elm were one day
the objects of his inquiry.
"YOu are a very old man, said his lord
ship to the elder brother. II suppose you
have lived very temperate life ?"
"Never drank anything but water, my
lord, said Elm.
"NOr you either, l suppose, said the
Judge, addressing himself to the younger.
"When l could get nothing else, my
lord, was the reply, II always took my
glass with my friends"
"Well, then, )" replied his lordship, "all
that we can say is 'an Elm will flourish
wet or dry"
The Democratic advocate., 1881-03-26
A New Thing in Optics.


orally conceded to be one of the foremost
scientific men of Milwaukee. Hitherto
he has confined his researches to the field
of electricity rather than to that of optics
and it was not supposed that the world
would be indebted to him for the most i'm.
portant discovery in connection with the
eye that has ever yet been made. Prof
Merrill has long been of the opinion that
the telescope is a clumsy method of sup
plying the deficiency of eye power, and
some months ago he undertook to ascer-
tain if there was any way by which we
could be able to dispense with artificial
lenses
1t is well ascertained fact that persons
who are near sighted, or, in other words,
who can see only such objects as are near
to them, have the ball of the eye globular
and protuberant, while those whose vision
enables them to see objects at long dis
tance from them have the eye fattened
aud sunken. The obvious explanation of
this fact is the theory that when the eye
is fattened the lenses are compressed, and
thus focal distance is increased, while the
opposite effect follows the too great rotun-
dity Of the eye.
Acting in accordance with this theory
Professor Merrill conceived the plan of in-
creasing the power of the eye, not by using
artificial glass lenses, but by improving the
natural lenses. He designed AN instru-
ment, consisting of two small metallic
disks, each pierced with an extremely
small hole, and connected by light steel
band. These disks are to be placed one
directly over the centre of each eye, while
the steel band, passing around the head,
holds them in place. This band is so made
that it can be shortened or heightened by
turning thumbserew, aud, Of course, Just
in proportion as it is shortened the disks
press against the eyes and fatten them.
The inventor tried his instrument upon
himself before exhibiting it to any one.
He found that when the disks were put in
position and the screw was gradually turn.
ed, his power of seeing distant objects
steadily increased. 4 very slight increase
of pressure on the eyes gave very marked
increase of the visual power. He made
experiments both by day aud night, and
in every case with marked success. He
found that in the day time he could read
the Times at distance Of twenty rods by
giving the screw two complete turns and
at night he could perceive the moons of
Jupiter and the ring Of Saturn with six
turns Of the screw.
Up to this point the operation Ofthe in
strument was quite painless, but any at
temp. to give greater eye-power was at
tended with sharp pain in the eyes and
dazzling light, which rendered all objects
invisible. Professor Merrill has calculat.
ed, however, that six turns of the thumb
screw give his eyes power equal to that
Of refractiag telescope of forty-two feet
focal distance, aud that, in fact, there is
no telescope in existence which has any
thing ike the power of his eyes when they
have been properly adjusted by the help
Of his new insJrument-N T. Times.
The Democratic advocate., 1881-03-26

WHAT You Do, Do WELL.-Ifa thing is
worth doing at all, it is worth while to do
it well. Yet the world is full of work
badly done and had half done. 1t is al
ways bad policy to do work in poor, half
hearted and slovenly fashion, Good and
honest work will always be the greatest
service, both to the serving and the served
The worker will ever find it to be his best
interest to work conscientiously and care
fully, and do his very best.
The Democratic advocate., 1881-03-26
Selett pOetrg.
POET-TREE.

Oak, Caroline, fir yew pine!
o. willow, will you not be mine?
Thy hazel eyes, thy tulips red,
Thy ways, all larch, have turned my head.
All linden shadows by thy gate
cypress on my heart and wait;
Then gum beech cherished Carroll lie,
Wen fly for elms Of bliss divine.
oh. spruce young man l cedar plan
Catalpa's money if you can;
You sumach ash, but not my heart;
You're evergreen, so now depa 1T;
You'd like to poplar-that see
Birch, you walnut propose TO me.
Here's Pa you'll see hemlock the gate;
He maple-litely say ''Tis late.
Locust that lovyer, while he few
For elrns before that parents shoe;
He little thought dogwood bite
And make him balsam much that night;
Hawthorny path he travelled Ger,
And he was sick and sycamore,
III c Dodgs.
The Democratic advocate., 1881-03-26
Notice to Creditors.

NOTICE is hereby given that the subscri-
IN ber has obtained from the Orphans
Court Of Carroll county Letters Of Admins
tration on the personal estate of
ELEANOR A. BAUMGARTNER,
late of said county, deceased, All per-
sons having claims against the deceased are
hereby warned to exhibit the same, with the
vouchers thereof legally authenticated, to the
subscriber, on or before the Sth day of
October, 1881; they may otherwise by law be
excluded from all benefit ofsaid estate. Those
indebted are requested to make immediate
payment.
Given under my hand this sth day of
March, 1881.
J. J. BAUMGARTNER,
mar l2.4t# Administrator.
The Democratic advocate., 1881-03-26

Ifall the dogs were sent to Lap-land, all
the lawyers to Lie-beria, the donkeys to
Bray all, the lovers to Sigh-beria, the ed
itOrs to News-zeal-land, and the key-hole
angels to Peru, the eternal fitness of
things would have equilibrium down to a
fine point.
The Democratic advocate., 1881-03-26

A little four-year-old being asked by
his mother if he would like to have wings
and be an angel, replied: "No, ma, I'd
rather be hawk and live On chicken"
The Democratic advocate., 1881-03-26

A Dutchman who had found his way
into barber's shop the other day, upon
being asked how often he shaved he re-
piled; "Dree times week, every day but
Soonday; den 1 shaves every day"
The Democratic advocate., 1881-03-26

"If any one attempts to pull my ears"
said Joe Cook, "he will have his hands
full" The audience looked at the great
defamer's ears and snickered.
The Democratic advocate., 1881-03-26
BARK WANTED
nov l, 1880 -1y

A T Schlosser TanHery, for Cash 1900
"A tons Chestnut and Spanish Oak Bark
wanted, at $500 per ton Of 1000 pounds, to
be dry and in good condition.
JAS. S. BAER, Foreman.
mar 5-St* ENGLAND & BRYAN, Proprietors.
The Democratic advocate., 1881-03-26

A German, lately married, says: I'D
vas yoost so easy as needle Good walk out
mid camels eye as to get der behindt word
NIT woman"
The Democratic advocate., 1881-03-26

81 take my tex dis morning." says a
colored preacher, from dat potion OBJ dc
Scripture whar de Postel Paul pints his
pistol to dc Fesians.
The Democratic advocate., 1881-03-26

When married woman buys pug dog
for low price she gets bargain, and her
husband gets something to boot
The Democratic advocate., 1881-03-26

A weak man is worse than an insane
one for the latter may be cured or kept
harmless,