Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1881-12-21

His Last ENp Oh.
What's the ma ter with that baby g.
grUwled SpOOpendyke, ss he sat up in b.d
and rubbed his eyes. Cant you sop his
fuss Z"
''lIush -h-h--hl' cooed Mrs Sop
endyke, dandling the infant, DON'T {
Ky Dada ANTS TO s'eep, Baby Sal be
Mr. SpOopendyke eyed the procee ling
C 5nically for a moment AMI then the baby
burst oct again.
"Dry up!' shouted Mr. Spoopendyke.
There's nothing the matter with YOU
Why don't you so to sleep ike Chris
uan?'
There, there, there !" croOned Mrs
SpOOpendyke- ''She's dess too tweet for
anysing. Poor little dirl! Now, go 10
sleep ike little desr''
Whereat the baby howled dismsIly
Cant you give her something7" de-
mande Mr.. SpOopeEdyke. Cant you
you dose her. S'pose Pun gong to lay
awake all night for the fun of approaching
that am the head of the family Here,
let me take her, III fix her" and Mr..
SpOOpendyke grabbed his offspring ami be
gan to pace the floor with her.
''Be careful Of her, and I'll heat some
water and try little peppermint and su-
gar said Mrs. SpOopendyke, as she
promptly raked out u battered tin cup, wull
BACKED around the bottom and sides,
which she promptly converted into a
boiler.
"a baby never cries unless there's pin
sticking in her, argued MIR. Spoopendyke
as he held the infant across his arm and
began TO undo her night dress. What's
this thing you've got wrapped around
her"
'EThat's her belly band, dont't touch
it, squesked Mrs. SpOopendyAe, waving
the cup a foot from the gas jet in her tire
pidstion.
Oh, / see," retOrted Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke, fishing out the pins whats that
other thing here, the 'britchingl Hold On
Cleopatra - he continued, as the bawling
young one made a spring, don't make the
mistake of trying to fool SpoOpendyke,
and the fond father groped around for the
cause of the disturbance. "SInce you've
got the rest of the harness on, p'rsps you'd
better drive this baby with martingales-
And IN tell you one thing, Mrs. SpO pen
dyke. this baby's clothes amt NOR n hslf
aireL No wonder she howls. Cutchee,
cutchee, cutchee; dod gast the thing
Say. what d. you call this rifle barrel busi
ness? Whal's this breaStPin dong here
| under her cheS, =
Good gracious, that's safety pan 4! LIT
it aIone!'' sad Mrs. Spoopendyke.
What's the combination Of tbs racket
ANYHOW &" demanded Mr. SpOOpendyke,
tugging at the pm. "Who soldered this
| ting ong What's II for? Give me the com
blns,ion - ard he ierked It loose witt, re
suits lie had scarcely contemplated for II
! left the baby sf.tchlcss. The start led ung
one shir5rci and was quiet for moment.
Told yol So sad Mr.. Spoopendyke.
! with an alr of triumph '.It only needs
| li,tle common sense 10 take care Of q baby"
But at tina, instant the infant tuned up
araln with redoubled vigor.
Let me take her, - pleaded Sirs Spoop-
! endyke, shell IreeZt t. death
/ LET her freeze T. TUared Mr.. SpOOpen-
/ dyke. If this measly baby is going "a
have her way about bowling, She, going
to have it a out eczing. Culclee, cutchee,
cutchee! Dry up, will YOU T. and Mr.
SpOopenGyke sci his teeth and prGnCet
around, al Of which extracted the most
| frightlul row from his infant.
'.ohe wants medicine, and I've got il
ready for hcr," SAID Mrs SpOJpendyke.
Come to ma Iima, now, what a little dear!
Come 10 mamma and be cOmfOTteJ, and
as she took the child the cries died away
INTO sobs and were buried in sniff
Il kueS could quiet hei, sad Mr
SuOOpeud ke, as he watched the baby.
"You don't know anything about children,
or YOU never would have put that tin
anchor in her clothes That vas what
ailad her"
lit wasn't either, snapped Mrs SPO,p-
endyke. ''She', got the cole, little dear
and yOu almost killed her.
ANYWAY, she tipped her bowling"
reto-ted Mr.. : loopcHdyke, and she howl
ed because You wanted her - stand in the
shafts all night. Another time you'll
know enough to unhitch the young Que be =
fore you put her in the siaI" Mrs.
Spoopendyke made no Response, hu; ladied
IN peppermint, qualified with little warm
water and SUGAR. Then she carefully
dressed the baby aud turned in
.-GOng 10 put out the gas dcnau' led
Mr. Sp1Opendyke from under the clothes,
which he had pulled up TO his eyebrows.
mo. D." replied Mrs. SpoOpendye shortly.
The it can burn!" hOwled her nus
band, ''If you think Pm going to rOust
out yonre mis- AIKEN"
But ten minutes later he thought Of the
bill, and thinking his wife fast asleep, he got
up and gave the screw a vludicliye wrench
and tumblcd back to bed, unconscious ef
the hysterical giggle that followed ms last
exploit.
Friends may some day be lovers. bus
lnyarr who ,ra not friends Kill SOOD csas<