The Mankato free press. [volume] (Mankato, Blue Earth County, Minn.) 1879-1924, 1881-09-02
HUMOR.
There was q small boy named Apollo
Who used 10 get spunky ana "holIoC"
When his pa with n strap
Would corral the young chap,

There was a small boy named Apollo
Who used 20 get spunky ana "holior'
When his pm with q strap
Would corral the young chap,
And Il sort of a chorus would follow.
A live u cannot be run on ''dcad
issues"
Somebody calls ice-cream a 'feast OF
free-Zin."
Better to have soft corns than hard
creditors.
Is il u mOan-a-mania when o crazy
man lamentsP
Nothing vulgar about tho miller,
when he bolts his meal.
Eve was tho first If her AGO to fool
shocked ut the bare idea.
When an arm of tho sea cncirc.cs o
neck of land, look out for fishing
smacks.- YOakers Statesman. Give
us u schooner.
Why does O cat swallow o nous
head FOREMOST is one of the m%elliflucnt
questions of tho hour. In order to
save his tail for u tOOthpick.
Alderman O'Flannelmouth - "Bc
keerful. Mrs. O'rOOle, an don't lit
any won sec me, fur it's oil tho promi-
nent people what's getting shot at"
And now somebody has been c0un.
tcrfciting Egyptian money. Somebody
must be rich to afford to use good ma
terial TO make into Egyptian money
Boston Post
Mamie" said he, and his voice was
singularly low, evil you be my wife?
Will you cling TO mo as tho tender vino
clinps to the Eyes, III catch on"
said she.
The Atlanta Constitution thinks tho
81 1000 at Albany, which is now without
an owner, should be invested in liver
pads for the benefit Of tho d~iscovercrs
of the cOmet.
Little LOttie to her friena-'I have
so many cares. Yesterday a little baby
sister arrived and papais on a journey.
1t was but a piece of luck that mamma
was at home to take care Of it,"
Doctors disagree. Some say whisky
hardens the brain, others say it sOftens
it. Meanwhile, people without brains
will keep right on drinking it. as 1t
does not make an atom of difference to
them, not nj atom.
A boy of II years, dining Mt his un-
cle's, made such u good dinner that his
aunt observed: johnny. you appear
TO eat wellr" ''Yes," replied the ur-
chin. ''rve been practicing eating oil
my life"
And now the poor heated editor
snatches up his shears with delight as
his eyes light on O promising squib,
and throws them down with q quota
ton from the Old Testament, as he
reads further and finds that it is some
thing about stake Jenkins Jaundice
Jcrker."
Peanut stand. Small boy-'Is them
all yer give fer a cent? Why, l yuster
git twice that many" Vender-"Yes.
but all the fruit crops is failed this
year, and peanuts and peaches is I'm.
common slow in comm in" Small
boy-.'Then give me Il cents worth OF
ice crcam-ticm isn't failed. is it?"
A Chicago paper wants 10 have Gul.
team talked to death by George Francis
Train. IL might do. But we once read
of u sailor who was put into q cage
with an anaconda by u cruel African
king that the anaconda might swallow
him, and we believe the sailor swal-
lowed the anaconda Boston Herald.
Can Guitcau swallow the boa?
A poem that won n prize of $40. Of
fered by IN of our exchanges. makes
''reverics'' rhyme with ''whatever Is"
a poet couldn't be expected to do bet
ter for the paltry sum of $40. II the
prize had been $40, no doubt he would
have succeeded in rhyming ''ensilage"
with ..peritOnitis." There is nothing
like money TO develop q poets latent
inspiration and so forth.
..YOur mind is in u twilight state"
observed u man. ''YOu cannot differ
entiate the grains of mistrust from the
molecules of a reasonable confidence.
You are travelling the border land. the
frontier between the paradise of faith
and the arctic regions of incredulity:
You are agnostic." ''Divil a Bit" said
Pat, with mingled amazement and in
~dignation, "rm o D~immycrat, every
inch o. mer