Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1881-08-13

! before sunrise be dangling from a tree
The courts could afford to release hin
if he would simply agree to borrow
horse in any of the ranches OF Texas
and they could also feel morally certain
} that he would never appear again IN
Washington except as ghost In some
seance of spiritualists. Our CIVILIZATION
iR, however, so very refined that the
plea of emotional insanity IS almost
omnipotent, and man is forgiven FOL
any crime if it can only be proven that
} he was greatly excited when he COM
mitted il. A little inCoherency Of Ian
guage, followed by a cowardly deed,
seem to constitute not simply crime
but also a good excuse for it.
The kings fool, whose business it was
20 cheer his majesty when he was spend
ing too much time in thinking OF his
sins, was never an idiot. Chosen be.
cause ne had hump on his back, OF
was otherwise deformed, he was the
only person at court who was permitted
to tell the whole truth when it happen
ed to be disagreeable. He could reprove
mis- masters faults in way that would
cause the chaplain to lose his head II ne
should dare TO take the same liberty,
and was permitted to do and say the
wisest things because he was only q
TOOL. One OF this ilk lay dying when
his brother fool coming to see him said /:
Brother, don't forget when you are in
heaven to mention my name kindly to
the authorities up there" "Ah! my
brother" was the reply, 'the King of
Heaven doesn't have only fools to
amuse him. Still / will do what l can
and YOU NAV tie a red thread around
my finger so shall not forget II"
People are apt to be very loving and
sffectionate when they are in danger.
A darkey who was hurrying along at
midnight attracted the friendly attention
OF a policeman, who said, Sam, what's
your hurry" 'Wiie's sick, massa, and
Use goin' for doctah," Was the reply.
"But what's that bundle under your
ARM" Cant stop to tell yer jest now,
massa, COS my wife was never so sick
in her life. She's most dead" Still
even the policeman felt as thought an
investigation would do no harm, so he
examined the mysterious package and
found a variety of articles which no man
who was over fond OF his wife would
appropriate. He had Ratchet, a pair
OF patent leather boots, couple OF
chickens and other bric-a.brac, which a
sober minded husband, whose wife is
dangerous i'll, ought not to be carrying
about the street while in search OF
physician at the solemn hour OF mid
night
The education of children is not more
necessary than difficult. 1t is no easy
task to direct the eager mind OF youth
in the paths which are said to be those
of pleasantness. The human nature OF
boys is very discouraging impeachment
10 the incubation OF the proper regard
for truth and virtue. They are so con-
stituted, in our days at least, that while
they acknowledge it to be their prime
duty to 20 to Sunday school they very
much prefer to go fishing There is no
day in the week so favorable for digging
out woodchuck as the Sabbath in the
imagination OF the. sordinary youth OF
our century. All nature seems to tempt
him and to put itself out OF the way to
entrce him from the path of duty on
that day. A crow will sit on the branch
OF tree that overhangs the road that
leads to the village church and look as
though he knew the boys father was
watching the guileless youth, whose
fingers fairly itch to pick up pebble by
the wayside. The fish leap out OF the
water in the most provoking way, and
the forbidden watermelons seem to be
dead ripe and anxious to be stolen
conspires to make it hard
for a boy to be good. His scholarship,
however, cannot be complained OF. He
not only knows theoretically what he
ought to know, but he also knows
practically what he ought not to know.
A mild faced, benevolent old gentleman
was once examining a Sunday school.
He did it by 4 series of interrogations
which were likely to draw out all the
hidden information OF the pupils. Now,
then, boys" he said, lean you tell me
how many Peters are mentioned in
Scripture" Not scholar liftel h s
bashiul hand. "What! Can't You
tell me so simple a thing as that?' he
went on, encouragingly. "Let me help
you, then. There was Peter, who be-
trayed his Master, and, and-was there
any other?" Only one little BIZ Of
humanity seemed to have the necessary
knowledge, and he sang ont with shri !,
piping voice, YES, sir; there was one
more" Lone more was there, my lit e
fellow? Now, won't you stand up and
tell Us who he WASP" He rose in his
place and cried out, sit was
Peter, Peter, the pumpkin eater,
Had wife and couldn't keep her
1t was said OF Boston philosopher
that he had grown to be so tall that he
had forgotten most OF the incidents that