Litchfield enquirer., 1881-03-10

Small dishes are decorated so handsomely now that pickles look unhappy in them.
 The fool buyeth an umbrella. but the pru- dent man knoweth trick worth two of that
 Judges" said a lawyer. ''bave always a great advantage over us poor fellows, for they guess last."[s z $#E EAgkEFE} z E !
 The Policeman is the title of a new London weekly, but we have not yet received its club ping rates.
 The following recipe for eloquence is given by a down East" orator: ''Get yourself chock k-ful of the subjeet knock,out the bung, and let Nature .caper."G ' EAA sG' A> ;
 An exchange informs as that the ''Bank. abouts he generally rides in his own car riage.
 A tailor was startled the other day by the return of bill. which he had sent to an ed- tor, with a notice, that,the ''manuscript was respectfully declined.a l. A'>'.4 'f-'>-''A < A French writer says: ''I used to believe that women, prefer those whom they think handsome. Error. They prefer those who think hem handsome"
 A married. woman, said to her husband "You have never taken .nieto the cemetery. |" 'No, dear," replied he, ''that is pleasure have yet in anticipation. ffEq huP q4fKyU r The discovery that oleomargarine is more soluble in buckwheat cakes ythan the corripet- ing ointment, has dismissed t from the win ter patronage of the average boarding house keeper. ,..,,n -f;,raq 4;eT,t D.
 A little boy in Belfast, n Me, attended church last Sunday for the first time. On re- turning home, he was asked what was done at the church, to which he replied: First they sang, then man prayed, and then one passed rounds corn popperSss sS i T play only by hote,"a said q pianist. Seems to me you 5coulds sdoA Amore sexecution it you would play by ear," remarked Fegg ''Such reach, you know" And the pianist reached for Fogg," who got himself out of the way just Tn time. ssH 3&Efi 5 :3'it -t- Rhode Island has passed thirty eight differ ent dogs laws in the course of forty years, and l the dogs have got so they spot members of the legislature, and one of that body can't get within yards of a house that other men can walk right up to with safely.
 At Boston they are too truly good and learned to quote Byron undiluted, and so have prepared sspecial version of one of his best known poems as fol(ows:~-- ~@7@- --- %s Maid of Athens, ere we separate us, |o. Give me back my cardiac apparatus. ved as "Archimedes. you say, discovered specific gravity on getting into his bath; why.hai the principal never before occurred to him?' Probably this was the first time he ever took l bath" .Is..s-71Uau 9EJ 2GiTTteg SIS -3 / .. "You seem sad and dejected tonight. Claude, dear" "Yes, darling; men of my emotional nature are easily affected either by the smiles orsfrownssof fortune ''8 His wash. erwoman had discharged him.
 An Oswego county editor went to Buffalo the other day and soon after telgraphetf to his dear readers: 'Your humble servant completed negotiations for mother-in-law this evening"" and the telegram is published in his paper, signed " ith his name.
 sMyi friends, V saiashs political speakerl with burst of ingenious eloquence, 'sI will De honest AFhere, was large number of hls neighbors present, and the terrific out burst of applause which followed this remark entirely upset the point which the orator was about to introduce.
 Is. Saoa z 1aEs. 1naEsR6zs 6zssa@EsAa@s~s: sa@sAa@ 1rI' F Reddipg is shipping large qqaptitiespf ap- ples to Bridgeport o. Dsa 154i1N Mr. Blush, of Hartford, IS a thief. whose name must save him considerable embarrass- iment 8 = -. 9
 There were three big weddings in Bridge port, Thursday, and the city has been living on cake since.
 Hon. T, S.. Gold still ,discourses on fhe glories of the dentists' favorfte syrup. and thinks two hundred gallons can be raised to the acre. T In the Litchfeld tousi 5.useetingt ito nroh;bit coasting pAsthe high ways lvas.a man with tremendous feet. He wanted the roads kent clear as the sidewalks were of no use to him.