The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1881-06-07
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Her lips were . utRf
ThAi-Vhat els could do
You'll be Fngry, lear
Vel, cant make Il eltAE,
Orexp ala Il 70 you,
pnt-haP lirH we're 10 near

.IRhk-WnAAN Au p9uAA w
The inhabitants Of the Cannibal Islands
say that the fash Of American politicians
tastes exactly like mule meat.
"Would you Iowa me as well, true heart,
had l face less fair ?"-[Minnie 0. Ballard.
Yes, Minnie, if yOu had a bank, and $1,000
there.
The chief end OF a ministsr-The reVer:
end .-CambFidge Tribune. The chief end
Of some ministers We should think was
the never end.
A senior, as be gave 3 last pull ct his
glove before going TO the ball, remarked,
i've sacrificed another hid 10 Venus."-
College Journal.
A Harlem moCking bird Is an adept at
sinRing Moodv and Sankey hymns, and
nothing hut the cage prevents 1t from Ia
king up a collection.
The following bit OF Paris gossip was in
a letter from . young American to bis
father: "All the theatres and many Of
the churches are now open every Sunday
in this city.
Fame!-EVans Evans, R, A.. the famous
artist, knight Of the Order Of Merit IN
Germany, officer Of the Legion Of Honor
in France, &C., &c, visits his native place
in Wales and meets his first and only love,
who married (SlasO the village doctor
She: "Dsar ms! To think OF our meeting
sgain after 30 many years! How well |
remember you! You used to go IN Tor
painting and ~sketching, and all that, and
do you 70 in for 1t stilI2"-PIHch.
The Buffalo Commercial Advertiser gives
US the song OF the youthful apple pedd!eF
at the country railway stations IN Penn
sylvania: apple! Sapple! Sapples! sap,
pies! Two for five; Maple, mister?
Mister, RAppls2 Wan tanaple, mister!
Six .for Ave Cents2 Fine sheap nappuPsi
Nj sealiu naples, seven torRnnicke!!
Maple, mister? Mister, w~antanapple?
Want smappuls, mister! Nine iuTan'
nickle2 Here's yourappuls! Ten iuEa'
nickel"
There will be many tourists who will
do Europe" this summer, and come back
declaring "there ls nothing in It," They
forget that something more is necessary
han q purse aud q passport, II they wish
TO see and hear with understanding. How
complacently this kind Of travelling can
be done isshown In the case OF Lord A.,
who, after o prolonged tour, was asked
what he thought Of Athens, Turning to
his servant be calmly demanded, "J0hn,
what did | think OF Athens? "-HOme Jour
nal.
A Wicked Mans Diary OF his Wiie's
Temper: Monday-A thick log; no seeing
through It. Tuesday GLOOMY and very
chilly unreasonable weather. Wednes
day-Frosty; ut times sharp. Thursday
Bitter cold In the morning; red sunset,
with flying clouds, p%ortending hard wealth
or. Ftiday-Storm In the morning, with
pealS OF thunder; air clear atterward,
Saturday-Gleams OF sunshine, with par
ttal lhaw frost again at night. Sunday
A light southw ester in the morning; calm
and pleasant at dinner timoi hurricane
at night.
A curious misprint occurred in the Lon.
don Standards report Of RsermOn preached
at Whippingham. The text waStaken from
the parable OF the talenls,and the Standard
printed 1t, Unto one he gave fine talents"
q not Inappropriate reading, for the dis
course to which 1t was q pEtfeCe was Lord
~BeaConsfeld's funeral sermon. A worse
error IL 10 be found III al advertisement
in q recent number OF the Duly NsWS. II
begins: ITO Edltors-WOIk Rs Retriever
(dCtion, history, etc. sought by a gtadu.
Ate." The aspiring reviewer might have
exclaimed, "ls thy servant q dog that he
should DO this thing?",