The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1881-12-07
Bllz Nye syeaks 70 LletHe Piece.

Blls Nye syeaks q Lsstle Piece.
81 desire to advertise for a girl to do gen.
eral housework,' said q Laramie lady to the
business man of the Boomerang yesterday.
II have had some little trouble and annoy
ance during the past year, and would like, if
I could, to get a good girl who differs in
many respects from those I have been wrest-
ling with. Last fall / heard of a good girl
who was working for a neighbor of mine,
and went to work Systematically to get her.
I found afterward that it was a put up job on
me, and that my neighbor wanted me to get
the girl more out Of revenge than anything
else.
"The girls name was Cleopatra. She
wanted tWenty-seven dollars per month, and
the use OF the piano. / was SO sure that she
was a good girl that I engaged her or that
layout. Cleopatra had 50 many lovers that
we had to move the sofa into the kitchen on
Sundays, and my husband and myself sat
hIOuuM OIL tuE IOOIe WullC AlGOpaLId WOOGu
the festive mule-puncher.
"We wanted to throw all the home infuen-
ces we could around Cleopatra, so that she
would feel perfectly cheerful, and like one
of the family. She used to wear my dresses
when / was away, but when [ asked her to
let me wear her wardrobe she seemed hurt,
and her whole system was churned up with
conyulsiye sobs. By-and-by my dresses got
kind of shabby, as the result Of continuous
wear by Cleopatra and myself, and SO she
got discontinued, and went away.
"Then I got a nice girl from Nebraska;
but just as she had learned to make a pie
that would yield to the softening influences
Of time, she married a man from Bitter
Creek, who was SO cross-eyed that, when he
wept, the scalding tears would roll down the
back of his neck.
II then secured a girl from the old coun-
try. She couldn't speak the English Ian
guage fuently, and so we didn't have a very
sociable time of it. When I would tell her
to wash the dishes, she would generally black
the stove, or bring in q scuttle Of coal. /
used to pour out my soul to her some times,
and ask her to condde in me, but she had a
far-aWay look, like q man who cannot pay
his board-bill. One day at dinner | asked
her to bring in the dessert, but she didn't
grasp my meaning, and through some over
sight brought in the dish-rag on a tray. She
used to wash the children's faces with the
stove-rag, and brush their hair with the shoe
brush, and in that way soon won their es-
TEEN and regard. One day, while we were
at the table, she brought in the soup, and in
an ungurded moment stuck about seven in
ches of her thumb in the hot soup, in order
to get q more secure grip on the turneen. In
the first impulse Of coy and maidenly sur
prise she thoughtlessly dropped the tureen
and the soup in my husbands lap. My hus-
band is q shy and ~reticent man, but he rose
with q graceful movement to his full hight
and killed her with the carying-knife, and
kicked her CORY remains under the table.
After the inquest [ got a hollow-eYed Girl
from Fort Collins. She was an orphan, with
pale hair that she used to work up in the
hash. She was proud and lmpulsive in her
nature, and ate everything in the house. We
used to hear her in the middle Of the night
foraging around after cold pie and fragments
of rich and expensive grub. She had a sing
ular yearning for jam and an inpassioned
longing for preserves that we never succeeded
in quenching. When the jelly and fruit cake
gave out, she would sadly turn her attention
to cold ham and mustard, with the smolder-
ing ruins Of baked beans, and cold cabbage
and vinegar. We stood it till groceries came
up SO, and apples got to be seven dollars and
q half q barrel, and .then. we asked her to send
in her resignation. Shortly after that my
husband made an assignment.
What ! would like now is 8 good girl, not
so much as q companion and confidential pro-
moter Of financial ruin, but more to wrestle
with manual labor in the kitchen at 80 much
per Wrestle and board, Tn not difficult to
please, but ! don't want to pay the same sala-
ary that the cashier of q bank gets, lust for
the sake Of having . pampered mental in the
house who doesn't do enough work to drive
away her ennui.'