The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1881-09-30
THoMPsoNs LAST JOKE

Mrs. Thompson was not-that Is. not a
happy Uo-man-and her unhappiness
was both a source OF satisfaction and
amusement TO her husband.
They were well-to-do in this world |;
for. as Thompson was q very success
full Spectator in grain at the Corn Ex-
change, Mrs. Thompson was seldom
without change, and with their two
selves only in the family. they managed
10 eat, live, and dress well.
Thompson loved a joke. and If a
practical one, SO much the better but
his wife never saw one and was too
practical to enjoy the witticism that
yelled either a vulgarism or q satire.
And, of course. her facetious spouse
took exceptional ARE to make her the
victim of his one failing whenever the
spirit prompted.
In consequence of which little Mrs.
Thompson was in a constant state of
uncertainty whether to laugh or cry.
For instance. on the last morning OF
the old year, as her husband was leav-
ing the pretty villa at Chapman. to go
down to business. he turned at the door
10 say. solemnly-
.Good-bye. Pussi We've eaten our
last meal together this year !"
She started up In alarm and rushed
after him to the door, from which he
was slowly emerging. with a broad
grin on his face.
"But, Tody." she gasped, ~shivering
on the threshold, as the keen air struck
her.
Theodore, madam p sternly re-
Thompson. looking at her with
fixed eye. 80 Dore, If you like-but
not Tody. Ughr
Theodore. Them" pleadingly cried
the poor little woman, ''wha-wha-at
do you mcanP Are you angryp Did i
Il do anything wrongP"
~ leave you. madam, to find out. I
shall moi see you again this year."
And, with q wave of his hand, Thomp-
son. walked of, the grin reappearing
Ms his wife's Mortified c~ountenance
came into his mind. ''She'll find out
That IFS the last day Of the year." he
foliloquized. as he mounted the omni-
bus that every morning carried him to
Eracechurch-street ; land remember
I'm going to supper with Jones
Tonight, and Of course will not see her
antil the New Year is In"
But Mrs. Thompson did not see tho
point Of the joke until Theodore Ok
plaiued it, at two o'clock next morning,
and passed q miserable day according
". brooding over his parting words
and their hidden meaning.
Amid o shower of tears and o nanno-
aade of sobs, Thompson vowed he
would never-no, never-again make
her tho subject of a joke. which he was
,nly too glad to promise as the price Of
peace for the last bottle of champagne
sad Just touched the spot which variab-
h nched with double horsepower. and
ie fell off asleep with a splitting head
iche. murmuring mysteriously:
..Mumm's the word"
Which the subdued and penitent wife
understood to be o request that she
you'd not again refer to this incident,
D which she ~eloquently replied, as she
nnk into slumber
IN forget it all. Tody-Dore-
Theodore ~
, Thus the fact Is evident that the care
less, fun-loving Thompson found life
more desirable than his earnest, loving
little wife. to whom the days were long
and empty until he should return, and
the nights weird and ghost-hauntos
until his latch-key startled the lonely
spectres back to their lurking-places.
But Theodore never thought Of this.
He was the ringleader of q few Mark
Lane habitues, and did more bonneting.
grain-pelting, and other sportive jesls
than the whole band of convivil spirits
together i; and, besides, sang the bos.
songs told the best stories. and playc.
the sharpest tricks. And 30 imbuei
had he become with this spirit that his
better, soberer nature was becoming
completely eclipsed. when Mt last n
pull-back arrested him in his ma:
career" and the tables were turned on
Theodore Thompson. Esquire.
Mrs. Thompson, like the generality
of the feminine readers of newspapers.
found her greatest enjoyment Of tho
daily paper in the list of deaths and
marriages, lost and found and the
agony column.
For this latter she had rare fascina-
ton. and many times and oft would
break in upon Theo,lore's study of
the grain quotations In the '.Mark Ian
Express" with wondering demands
for an explanation of this strange or
that singular request from so-and-so.
and thus and so. in the second column
of the Times"
One fatal day, following upon a series
of suppers and excursions to which
Theodore had lent the lustre of his wit,
leaving her to her lonely evenings and
disconsolate days. without the aid of a
female friend to beguile tho time with
aesthetic art discussions. she fell upon
q remarkable advertisement, and Ne.
mesis followed fast upon T~hompson's
heels.
..Tody, isn't this stranger Just lis
ten," said Mrs. T., with big open eyes,
staring at her paper uneasily. h.
Tody had heard the like before, and
was besides very intent on calculating
the margin the sudden rise would allow
him In his next offers, and therefore
simply gruntej out, Eyes, very" Aud
went on comparing the closing prices
of last year with the present one.
Mrs. Thompson had grown We
agitated, and was peering intently It
her husband from behind her paper.
You must listen.S Theodore" s''o
said, decidedly, with a shake of tt o
news-sheet.
..All right, I'm listening. Wheat,
1891, a fall Of three-eights since yester-
day." murmured Thompson, ABSTRACT
edly, figuring away.
Theodore Thompson, what does
this meanP" demanded the small wo
man, with hysterical majesty. looking
very stern, but trembling very womaHiy.
This was the advertisement, which
she proceeded to real aloud with the
sonorous Importance OF an angry swal-
low.
Theodore looked at her grimly. He