Northern tribune. [volume] (Cheboygan, Mich.) 1875-1885, 1881-07-02

SATURDAY, JULY 2, 1881.
THE NAUGHTY CHURCH CHOIR.
You may organize church choir and
think you have got it down fine, and
that every member in it is piOus and full
OF true goodness, and in such a moment
as you think not you will find that one
or more of them is full of the old Harry
and it will break out when you least ex-
pect 1t. There is no more beautiful
sight to the student of nature than a
choir. To see the members sitting to-
gether. demure, devoted and piOus-lOok-
Ing. You think that there is never a
. thought enters their minds that Is not
connected with singing anthems, but
sometimes you get left. There is one
church choir in Milwaukee that is about
as near perfect as choir can be. 1t has
been organized for long time and never
has quarreled, and the congregation
sNears by it. When the choir strikes a
DEVOTIONAL attitude it is enough to make
an ordinary Christian think of the angel
fband above, only the male singers wear
swhiskers. and the females wear fashion
able clothes.
You would not think that this choir
played tricks on each other during the
sermon, but sometimes they do. The
choir is furnished with the numbers of
the hymns that are to be sung, by the
minister, and they put book mark in
the book at the proper place. One morn
ing they all got up to sing, when the so
pranO turned pale, as the ace of spades
dropped out of her hymn-book the alto
nearly tainted when queen OF hearts
dropped at her feet, and the rest of the
mack was distributed around in the other
books. They laid it on the tenor, but he
swore, while the minister was preaching,
that he didn't know one card from an
other.
One morning last summer, after the
tenor had been playing tricks all the
spring on the rest of the choir, the So
pranO brought chunk of shOemaker's
wax to church. The tenor was arrayed,
like Solomon, in all his glory, with white
pants and a Seymour coat. The tenor
got up to see who the girl was that came
in with the old lady, and, while he was
up, the soprano put the shOemaker's wax
in the chair. and the tenor sat down upon
it. They all saw it, and they all waited
for the result. 1t was an awful long
prayer, and the church was hot, the tenor
was no iceberg himself, and shOemakers'
wax melts at SO degrees Fahrenheit. The
minister finally got to the amen and
read hymn, the choir cOughed and all
rose up. The chair that the tenor was
in stuck to him like brother, and came
right along and nearly broke his suspen-
derS. 1t was the tenor to bat, and, as the
great organ struck up, he pushed the
chair off his person, looked around to see
If he had saved his pants, and began to
sing, and the rest of the choir came near
bursting. The tenor was called out on
three strikes bv the umpire, and the alto
had to sail in, and while she was sing
ing, the tenor began to feel of first base
to see what was the matter. When he
got his hand on the shOemakers' warm |
wax his heart smOte him. and he looked |
daggers at the soprano, but she put On |
piOus look and got her mouth ready to |
sing Hold the Fort" Well, the tenor |
sat down on a white handkerchief before |
he went home, and he got home without |
seeing him and he has been,
as the saying is. laying" for the So
pranO ever since to get even.
1t is customary in all first class chOirs |
for the male singers to furnish candy for |
the lady singers, and the other day the
tenor went to candy factory and had a
pappermint fo1cr5c made with teal
spoonful of cayenne pepper in the centre
of it. On Christmas he took his lOZenge |
to church and concluded to get even with
the soprano if he died for it. Candy had
been passed around, and just before the
hymn was given out in which the So
pranO was to sing a solo, Nearer My
God, to Thee" the wicked wretch gave
her the loaded lOZenge. She put it In her
mouth and nibbled off the edges, and was
rolling it as sweet mOrsel under her
tongue when the organ struck up, and
they all arose. While the choir was
on the first part of the verse
and getting scored up for the solo, she
chewed up what was left of the candy
and swallowed it.-Well, if a Democratic
tOrchlight procession had>marehed I'M
hidden down her throat she couldn't |
have been more astOnished. She leaned
over to pick up her handkerchief and
spit the candy out, but there was enough
pepper left around the selvage of her
mouth to have picked peck of chow
chow. 1t was her turn to sing, and she
rose and took the book, her eyes filled
with tears, her voice trembled, her face
was as red as spanked lobster, and the
way she sang the old hymn was caution.
With sweet tremulO, she sang "Near-
er, My God, to Thee" and the congrega-
ton was almost melted to tears. As she
stopped, while the organist got in little
work, she turned her head opened her
mouth and blew out her breath with a
- wh0osh," to cool her mouth. The
audience saw her wipe tear away, but
lid not hear the sOnnd of her voice as she
whooshed." She wiped out some of the
pepper with her handkerchief and sang
the other verses with good deal of fer
vOr, and the choir sat down, all the men,
bers looking at the soprano. She called
FOR water. The noble tenor went and
got it for her, and after she had drank a
couple of quarts she whispered to him
: Young man, will get even with you
'or that peppermint candy if 1 have to
i've thousand years, and don't you for
get it )" and they all sat down and look
ID pi0us, while the minister preached a
most beautiful sermon on Faith" Wei
expect the tenor will be blowed through
he roof some Sunday morning, and the
will wonder what he is in
Iuch hurry for.-Peck's Sun. ffT II