The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1881-07-01
The Spoopendykes.
They Discuss the Latest Wonderful In
vention.

81 see that a Frenchman has got patent
for canned energy" observed Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke as she picked up lot of cut steel beads
lions for dress trimming.
"Got a what?" interrogated Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke who was blacking his boots.
eyes. He says he can put strength up in
bundles and send it anywhere, so they can run
ships and things without steam. He sent ever
SO much over to Scotland"
"What circus bill have been reading now?"
qaeried Mr.. Spoopendyke, garing at his wife.
Its so. she replied, 81 saw it in the Ea-
gle. He does it up like preserves and it lasts
ever so long, and it's Just as fresh and strong
when they open it as it was at first"
"Who puts it up? Who are you talking
about?"
ga Frenchman. He got lot of strength
and fixes it with electricity, and you can buy
it anywhere. I'm going 10 get some and take
it. It'll be just as good as going in the coun-
try, and maybe it'll help my headaches.
suppose the Government will buy lot of it for
tramps"
'You gone crazy again?'' demanded Mr..
Spoopendyke. What dye mean by putting
strength in boxes? Think energy is some kind
of dod gasted fish? S'pose you can put
main strength up in bottles like a measly
shrimp? If you're. going to read, why don't
you read straight"
"Why, 1 did. He has some kind of o. ma
chine and he makes energy so it will last, and
then he soldiers it up in tins or something's so you
can keep it in the house. "Pm going to have
some to do the washing"
"Does it strengthen the mind of dod gasted
IDIOT" blurted Mr.. Spoopendyke. "Can it
make measly Spoopendyke woman talk
sense?"
'The paper didn't say; but if it is all they
claim for it, it will be great help in house
cleaning and moving the step ladder around
han In hn..n
it saves boiling beef tea. Oh, you ought to
read about it. They say it's the greatest in
vention of the age''
"Dye mean to tell me that they're selling
muscle by the keg? Want m to understand
that some frog eater is keeping industry on
draught? Think I'm an ass?''
"That's what the Eagle says" rejoined Mrs.
Spoopendyke, with a woman's implicit reli-
ance on anything in print. "And they can
make it in any quantity cheap, so we can have
all we want. wish you'd get some right off,
and we'll try it on the Fridays sweeping.
"Quit!" howled Mr.. Spoopendyke "Stop
making an idiot asylum of yourself! S'pose
you can make me b'lieve that house cleaning
comes in jugs? Think I'm going to b'lieve
that weeks wash comes in box like measly
pills? P'raps you want me to think that your
dod gasted stuff will pay the rent and run my
business! Next time you strike u corn salve
you read it understandingly, you hear? Energy
By the pint! Strength by the yard Got that
rip sewed up in my pants?''
''Yes, DEAR" murmured Mrs. Spoopendyke,
meekly, and Mr.. Spoopendyke, having srrayed
himself, plunged out of the house, and made
for the ferryboat.
"Hello, Spoopendyke!" saluted his friend,
Specklewottle, "see this thing in the paper
about the Frenchman who is boxing up ener-
gy2"
"Yes, certainly" replied Mr. Spoopendyke,
''and I've been all the morning trying to ex.
plain it to my wife, but these women can't un-
derstand such things. How's stocks?"