davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-05-19
Anecdote Of Petit.

Many years ago, while Judge Petit, of Indiana,
was eanvassing his district for Congress, to
which position he succeeded, and while he was
In the midst Of IN eloquent address to large as
sembly Of voters, one of that class Of peculiarly
smart Alexis 80 often found ut such places, hav-
ing posted himself in front q the speakers
stand, annoyed the speaker and audience exceed
ingly by shouts of applause, interspersed with
EXPLANATIONS Of GO il, old fellow" "Thems
my sentiments" "Give 'em HI" etc. This an
nOyanee became unbearable. The Judge, peer
ing into the crowd where the noise came from,
invited the enthusiastic youth to come upon the
stand The invitation was greedily accepted by
the youth, who, when arriving upon the stand,
was confronted by the Judge, who, in that loud
and commanding tone for which he was distin-
guished, demanded:
''YOung man, do you read the Bible Y
ayes, yes, Judge, ] do"
Judge-'Do you believe what it teachesT
Y M.-'Yes, of course do"
Judge-'Did you ever read that passage where
Christ told Nicodemus he must be born again y
Y. M.-"Yes, oh, yes, have read that"
Judge-"DO you believe that dOctrinep
Y. M.-"0h, yes, of course do, Judge.
Judge-"Well, young man, go home and into
your closet, and ON Blended knees pray Almighty
God that you may be born again, and let the
burden of that prayer be that, the next time you
shall be still born, you d-n fool"
No further disturbance at that meeting.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-05-19

THE SCHOOLNAsTER AND TIE CAPTAIN.-On q
recent voyage of the Cunard steamship Bothnia,
from New York to Liverpool, there was q Boston
schOolmaster among the passengers. He was
greatly interested in watching the compass and
the course of the ship, and having figured out
that the Captains course was wrong, he felt
compelled to tell him so. Said the schOOlmaster
captain, if you continue in the course you are
now sailing you will bring up at Gibraltar The
Captain replied that he had friends at Gibraltar
who would be glad to see him. When the ship
arrived at Queenstown, and the schoolmaster
was assured of that agreeable fact, he asked the
Captain how it was that he could have been SO
mistaken in his reckoning. mot being school
master, i can't say" answered the Captain
BroOkIiRe Nasal Chronicle
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-05-19

Nix a spoonful of quick lime with half n mai,
Of water and pour into barrel of hard water.
Stir well, and when settled the water win be
clear and soft
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-05-19

BOY who Lad been attending q eolored
funeral, was asked on his return where he had
been. He replied, very quickly, have been q
black bHrying.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-05-19

The Maine Farmer states that if timber when
cut, be stripped Of its bark and soaked in a VAT
Of lime water, it will preserve it 50, that what
would rot in three or four years. will last forty.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-05-19

OUR good deeds rarely cause mnch gossip
among our fellow citizens, but our evil ones leap
Immediately into notoriety.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-05-19

In little village in Virginia, there lived
family named Ransom. They were not very
pious people, and never went to church. Once,
however, during n revival, the family were pre-
vailed upon to attend preaching. When they
made their reluctant and tardy appearance, the
services had just begun; and when they had
scarcely taken their seats, the minister gave ont
the first hymn, reading it somewhat thus: IRE
turn, We ransom sinners, home" "All rightw
cried the head Of the Ransoms getting up in a
rage and clapping his hat on his head "Come
along, old woman and gals, we'll 20 home fast
enough, and everybody in the old church knows
we didn't want to come"
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-05-19

SIMILARLY SITUATED.-"Will you pay me this
bill, sir r. said tailor to n waggish fellow, who
owed him pretty long bill
'Do you owe anybody anything sirr said the
wag.
''No, SIR" said the tailor.
''Then you can afford to wait" And off he
walked.
A day or two afterwards the tailor called again.
Our wag was not at his wits end yet; so turning
TO his creditor, he said:
"Are you in debt TO anyboyr
'Yes, sir" said the tailor.
"Why don't You payf
ave not the money"
That's just my case, sir. l am glad to see
you can appreciate my condition; give me your
handw
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-05-19

'tLESNY, you're apig," said father to his little
nve-year old boy. ''Now, do you know what pig
is' LennyT Yes, sir; apig's q hogs little boy.s
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-05-19

wELL-FATTESED Berkshire or small Yorkshire
has q very small percentage Of waste.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-05-19

JOIN STUART MILL thought that Carlyle while
talking was insincere.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-05-19

Cap'n,r said little-eyed man, as he landed from
the steamer PeytOna, at Natchez, 81 say, Cap'n,
this ere amt all" THAT'S all the baggage you
brought on, board, SIR" replied the captain.
boxes, three chests, two bandboxes, portman-
teau, two hams Zone part cut), three ropes and
q teakettle; but I'm dubersOme. l feel there's
something short, though I've counted 'em three
times, and never took my eyes off 'em while on
board there's something not right, somehow
"Well, your time is mp, stranger, there's all i
know of; so bring up yOur wife and children out
of the cabin, and we're off," "Thems UNI, durn
il, them's UNI. IknOwed forgot something
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-05-19
OH FORGET MI


Oh forget me; and forget
The brightness Of our morning CLEAN
or love and hope which tinges vet
The memory Of that fAithiess dream;
Oh forget De-whefher thou sail
Lonely in thine Egean s-a,
List to fhs wiliering Arab tale @
Or Plunge In night IL reveiry-
For thee-whose stirring soul may rush
Bold In thy towering pride to crush
The serpent head Of earth poor harm
II Passion won thee Ia her gusts
Lei not thy thoughts 10 home be turnd-
Bear nat the doubling heart whch bursts
To think Of peace despisd and spurnd-
Oh ! then. forget me, and u Time
Pluck frpni thy breast this ranking smart
uneheekd by shame unaw q by crime.
Cling 10 sone warm and kipdlirr heart
For me. enough those sunny hours
The heralds Of the night Of woe
Which led me blind DER paths Of howers
Breathing all sweets Of bliss below;
Though like the violets Of the Spring
They open d 10 the hight and died
Though far they fed On startled wing
When love shrunk back from injured pride
Still were they sweetest, happiesf, best
That hope ecr formed in fancy 3 train
The visions OF that endless rest
When truth and JOY unite again
Butch forget me, till that hour
When all light worldly dreams shall hy;
When fame, and wealth. and rank, and power
And even genius, humbled lie
Then, II one stormy thought gush in
II lost affection yet may live
Believe that torn hearts. purgrd from sin,
May meet to loye-dnd 10 JOryiae'
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-05-19

WHAT Is YACHTi-"Is that yacht 7" We in
quired of long, gaunt colder, who was louDg-
ing about the wharf, and we pointed to a small
steam vessel coming in. "NO,n was the reply.
sis that yacht 7" We inquired again, pointing
to n sort of craft that we thought might be a
yacht 'No that amt no yOt, nuther," was the
answer. "Well, what is yacht 7" was our next
inquiry. "wot's yot 7" said the fisherman
"Well, you gets any sort of craft you d-nplease,
and fill her up with liquor and seeg- vars, and git
yer frens on board, and have a hell of time
and that's yotw We thanked him with fervor,
for We had long been trying TO find out what a
yacht really was.-Troy Press.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-05-19

THE CHURCH COLLECTION AT RED GULCH.-
'What is the anter whispered q Red Gulch
miner with a single $50 gold piece to the deacon
with the collection plate in the Baptist Church
at Black Run, Col. He was told TO contribute
whatever he chose, whereupOn he said he'd chip
in dollar and proceeded to take $40 in change.
The deacon softly replied that no change was
given. A struggle ensued, the plate was upset,
and the congregation was in the act of jumping
the deaoon's Claim when the minister, an old
Californian, leaned over the pulpit with large
navy revolver and observed: "The brethren
will please take notice that I've got the drop on
them, and any brother who declines to go TO his
seat, OF who touches any of that money, will
have funeral at his house tomorrow at o'clock
p. m. Our mining friend from Red Gulch will
kindly release the deacOn's throat, or he is =
dead man." The twenty dollar gold piece went
TO save the heathen.=LeadriNe Ners.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-05-19
Selett goetrv.
LADY BYRoEsANswKRT oLoRpBYRoNs
FARE THEE WELD

At the tine Of the death Of Lady Byron in 1so news
pspsr stated that Lord Byr lived with wife only thr.
days the separation did not take place until
Aer tbs union Of year copy Of the London Courier
Thse Well which has seldom been Published in this coun.
Try and which Is given below
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-05-19

NEW WAY To RAISE SETTER DOGs.-A cit
izen of our community has fine litter of setter
dogs. He has been taking special pains to give
them good start in the world, and to this end
it was his custom to rise from his bed ut short
intervals to feed them. 1t became rather tedions
business for him to crawl OUT during the cold
winter nights to attend to their wants, so he
tried a new plan. Setting n pan of milk in q
warm corner behind the stove, he went to bed,
and in the small hours the young CANNES called
for food. Thinking to make one job Of it, he
arose in the dark and carried the pan carefully
to the woOdhouse, when seizing each pup by the
nape of the neck he thrust its nose into the pan,
and when all had "got to their work" returned
to his bed The next morning he was aroused
by his wife, who wanted to know what in the
world he had done with her bread pan. Inves-
tigation followed; his wife wet up batch of
bread and set it behind the stove to RISE this pan
our "shot" had carried to the pups, and they,
after gorging themselves with the dough, wad-
died back TO their warm nest The yeast was
good and the puppies rose, looking like so many
muifs with the head of the animal used for trim
ming, while their legs and tails resembled warts
on an Early Rose pOtatO.-HeRdersoa Tobaeeoaisf
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-05-19
How Mississippi Doctor Cures Snake Ri,

CARRoLTOS, Miss, July l5.-To the Editor Of
the Sun: saw statement in your paper in
gard to the use of ammonia rs a cure for snake
bite. l desire to add my testimony. have
practiced eight years in the YazOo swamps.
have attended many eases of snake bite both of
rattlesnake and moccasin. My treatment has
invariably been to cut down freely with bis
toury, diating the orifiees made by the two fangs
After permitting reasonable amount of bleed
ing stuff iuto the wounds the dry salt of car
Donate of ammonia. At the same time l give n
tolerably strsng solution of the same internally,
say five to eight grains every fifteen minutes,
until drachm has been taken (ess, if sufficient
Upon dissolving, the ammonia is rapidly com
municated to the blood, and through it to the
tissues previously visited by the poison. The
latter, as is the ease with all animal poisons,
being of an acid reaction, the powerful alkali,
on overtaking it, instantly neutralzes it, des-
troyins its specific properties. / rely upon this
treatment always, and have never had any
trouble with snch cases. The whisky treatment
is adiuvant only, and attach but little impor-
lance to it. THos. II. W. UPsIAUR, N. ID.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-05-19
IN THE SILENT LAND.

Waking, one morning,
In . pleasant land.
By . riyer flowing
Over golden sand -
Whence hox We. waters.
Der your golden sand
We come flowing
Frvm the Silent Land
Whence how ye. vaters
Der your golden strand!
We 60 sowing
To the Silent Land
And what h this fair realmi
A gr.in Of gotlrn sand
in the great dArkness
OF the Silent Land
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-05-19

$50 aas ssHi ia ssra CO. F sss x Is:s
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-05-19
Cur Strap Book.
LADY BYRON TO HER HUSBAND.

The answer of Lady Byron Lori Byron irunicsl fart-
well To her Whose oonhdng heart had been wantouy and
ern-y crushed Is Of the finest gems kind In any
language IL proves her worthy Of Byrun intellectually
and almost infinitely above him almost everything else
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1881-06-22
Disastrous storms.

A gale at Deadwood, on the 18th, toppled
over the new Methodist church, and at Lead
City the Sisters hospital was wrecked.
One of those frightful and disastrous wind
storms to which the southwestern states are
subject swept over Kansas, Missouri and a por-
ton of Iowa on the 18th inst, dealing out
death and destruction in its course through the
afflicted territory. Following is a. list of cas-
ualties as far as received:
At Colfax, Iowa, five persons injured and a
number of buildings destroyed.
At Usage, Kansas, about fifty houses de-
molished, crops ruined, three persons killed
outright and fort injured some dangerously.
Nearly every house in the town of Flora,
Kansas, was destroyed or badly damaged.
At King City, Mo-, houses, stock, trees and
shrubbery were laid waste. Men were picked
up bodily, thrown seventy-five feet in the air
and landed quarter of mile away. A farm
er named Maynard was impaled by piece of
timber and his daughter Grace was denuded of
clothing and fatally injured. R. F. Nelson,
another farmer, was killed on the porch of his
house.
Near Rosendale, No.. Mrs. Roberts and two
children were killed and their house totally
wrecked. The dwelling of John Colt was also
ruined and bis three-year-old daughter killed.
Nineteen men sought shelter in farmers
house near Winslow. Every one was injured,
some fatally
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1881-06-22
Plain. straightforward Answer.

Lawyers who demand precision in a
witness sometimes get it with interest.
Farmer Marston, of Norway one. ) rid
ing one day in his one-horse wagon, ran
over and killed one of Sam Pingree's
pigs.
Plngree sued him, and at the trial of
the case one of Marston's witnesses was
Uncle Tim Smith, a good old soul-as
honest as the days is long truthful and
simple-hearted-albeit, little inclined
to tell big stories of his own exploits.
Uncle Tom had seen the whole thing
had seen the pig run under the horses
feet, coming very near to throwing
Marston's team into a complete wreck.
Holden took his witness In hand to
cross-examine him.
CHOW, see here, Mr.. Smith. We
want none of your s'posin' s-none of
your IFS or 6utS; but want you to give
plain, straightforward answers to my
questions. Now, then. Give your at
tention; you saw Mr.. Marston- the de-
PENDANT In this case-driving his carriage
past Mr.. Pingree's dwelling?'
: "No, sir!"
"What? You did not SO declare
under oath ?"
"No, SR!"
"What! You did not see Mr.. Mars
ton driving past Mr.. Pingree's dwell
ling?"
"Yes-I did,"
"Your honori' exclaimed Holden,
turning to the justice with fire in his
eye, and thunder-cloud upon his
BROW
But the judge did not allow him to
finish.
"Confne yourself to the witness, Mr..
Holden. Evidently, be knows what he
is talking about.
Then, boiling with wrath, the peppery
lawyer returned to the witness, who
stood as calmly cool and serene as an
autumnal morning In harvest time.
Witness! / will ask you once more.
Did you not tell this court in your di-
rect testimony, that you stood near, and
were looking on, when Mr.. Marston
passed my clients house?"
eyes, sir,-I did,
"And noaO, sir, what was he driving?"
He aOas driUiaa' has Hoss, SIR"
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1881-06-22
Lost ut Sea.

The schooner r. J. Hart. from st. John, N
F., for Labrador, laden with fishing supplies,
and large number OF people, was crushed by
ice and sunk when about % miles from Cape
st. John on the 18th inst Ali hands were res
cued.
The schooner Edward Lee arrived at Vineyard
Haven, Mass, and reports that on the 18th
of May, while in the latitude of 1912, longitude
as, the captain and six seamen started in boat
from the ship to chase school of whales, since
which time nothing has been seen of them, al
though vigorous search was prosecuted. The
boat was supplied with compass and lantern.
There is faint hope that the waits were picked
up by some passing vessel. The names of the
missing ones are: Capt. G. A. Sparks, John
Baker, Charles Leslie, Manual Govia, Peter
George, and Manual Fogo.
Particulars of the wreck of the steamship
Tororna on the east coast of New Zealand have
been received. The ship struck on the rocks at
point between the port of Dunedin and the
bluff. The crew and passengers huddled uI
in the forward part of the boat and were gradu.
ally washed off by the sea, which became
boisterous Immediately after the disaster
About 100 lives were lost.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1881-06-22
Tales of a Baggage Smasher

One of the porters of New York
hotel has been talking about trunks to
reporter. He says the secret of
handling trunk safely lies in knowl-
edge of the fact that the corners are al
ways dovetailed and strongly braced
with iron. Let trunk down on a cor
ner and its all right. Big trunks are
not what porters dread. ''It looks
tremendous, said this practical philos-
opher, ''to see a man take one of them
and trot up to the top story, but you
want to remember this all through life:
Wherever woman is concerned, things
are bound to be light; so when a
woman's trunk-and only women have
big trunks-comes along, porter
picks it up easily. With man, though,
it's different. Old travellers are apt to
carry books, and books are mighty
heavy, while drummer will pack half
the stock of a dry goods store in his
trunk, which is usually small, and then
make funny remarks when you nearly
break your back lifting it.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1881-06-22

THB master of the mint announces that the
four-penny bit will soon cease to circulate in
England, for none have been coined since 1856,
and nearly half a million had gone out of CIR
culation within the past two years. The three
penny bit, however, still finds an honorable
place IN the affections of the English people,
one of Its chief functions being to drop with a
charitable clatter into collection plates in the
churches. The banks complain that the par
sons flood them with it, and the mint has at
tempted to limit the issue, but to no purpose.
Nearly two million three-penny bits have been
sent adrift in single year.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1881-06-22
Work of the Flames.

The new suspension bridge over the Allegheny
river near Pittsburg, Pa, caught fire on the
18th, and was damaged $4,000 worth. The
bridge ls an imposing structure erected at a
cost of $500, 900 in 1859
BY the destruction of the Miami Oil and Soap
works at Cincinnati, on the 18th inst. a loss of
5000, 900 was occasiOned.
Dillinger & Co.'s distillery and warehouse at
Bethany, Pa, was destroyed by fire on the 18th.
Loss, $15O,OOO
Two-thirds of the business portion of War
rentown, n. c., was wiped out by fire on the
night of the 18th. Loss, $1,000.
The gas works, stable, ice-house and laundry
of the Beebe house, Put-in-Bay proper, were
destroyed by fire on the 18th. Loss, $4,000.
Swepson mills, in Alannac Falls, n c., was
totally destroyed on the 18th. The works con-
tanned 1000 spindles and 1853 looms and en-
plOyed POT operators. The loss will foot UP
10000. Insurance, $4,000.
Terrible forest fires Fare prevailing in New
Brunswick, and the mining colony of Little Bay
is threatened. Two large steamers were in wait
ing ready to transport the populace if neces.
sary.
An extensive bush fire RACES on the line OF
the Quebec Central railway, in Canada. Pa
pineaus extensive mills have been burned
Loss $500 At Kingsley Falls fifteen houses
were burned, also 1000 cords of wood belong.
ing to the Grand Trunk road.
The White Lead works near Baltimore, Md.
burned on the 18th. Damage estimated al
$4,000. Insurance. 100000.
A. P. Johnson's extensive furniture factory,
Chicago, vanished in smoke on the 18th inst.
causing loss of $4,000 Insurance. $17, 900
Several people were injured during the progress
of the fire.
A fire broke out on the 18th inst, in a ware
house on Farman street, Brooklyn, and before
it was extinguished completely Quilted two OF
the structures with their contents, consisting Of
merchandise. The loss is estimated at 81, 000,
600. One workman was burned to death and
another was fatally injured by jumping from 6
window.
Thirty-six laborers' houses, two saw mills anG
a considerable quantity of lumber burned il
Asbestos township, Theoford, Canada, ON the
14th.
A loss of $4,000 was incurred by the burn
ing of the residence of Hon. J. B. Bro1nly, al
Oastleton, VT, on the 18th.
Smith Bros planning mill and sash factory, 6
boarding house, several small buildings and
l5OOO 600 feet OF lumber, was burned at at Che
fire was occasioned by spark from tug.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1881-06-22
MOrtUary.

Ex-senator Henry s. Lane died at Crawfords-
vile, Ind, on the 18th inst, aged 80 years.
Geo. Bruce, prominent and wealthy citizen of
Adrian, Mich, died on the 18th inst, aged 79.
VIM. E. Goodyear, who rode from the Allan
tic to the Pacific in 1852 passed away at New
Haven, Conn.,, on the 18th inst, aged so.
Geo. D. Ramsey, well-known commission
man, died at Chicago, on the 18th inst, aged
60 years.
Sir Joseph Mason, well known in connection
with the manufacture of steel pens, is dead.
Prof. Geo. Rolleston, M. D.. and A. r. S., of
Oxford University, has joined the silent ma
jority.
Joseph E. Smith, prominent lawyer and
politician of Chicago, died on the 18th. Mr..
Smith was James G.. Blaines first opponent for
congress in Maine i'll 1868.
VIM. Boucicault, brother of Dion, the dra-
matist, died suddenly in railway carriage at
London, Eng, on the 18th.
Capt. G. B. Phillips, United States engineer
in charge of harbor and river improvements at
Norfolk, Va, died on the 18th inst.
Right Rev. James DANIEL Regain, Catholic
bishop of Southwark, Eng, is dead.
DR.. G. Holdt, who died in Cincinnati. was for
some years at the head of the famous insane
asylum at Riga, Russia, receiving the decora-
ton of the order of st. Stanislaus.
Geo. Armour, of the Chicago firm Of Armour,
Dole Co., died at Brighton, Eng, on the 18th
inst, aged 65 years.