Knoxville daily chronicle. [volume] (Knoxville, Tenn.) 1870-1882, 1881-12-20
THE CHAMPION KICKER OF THE
lFDHJD

We had just eaten supper and were
disposing ourselves comfortably On our
blankets for smoke and chat when
Sam came riding up upon the most di-
lapidated specimen of mule flesh that
ever awoke the echoes with an asthmatic
bray. 1t was venerable animal, and
wore upon its time marked face that look
of quiet dignity which age ever infuses
into animals OF that species. Blind of
an eye, but tapering spike where once
hung a bushy tail. one ear erect and
pointing proudly at the heavens, and
the other dropping down beneath de-
preston of spirits or something of that
sort, the hair worn from its body in nu-
merous places, and every rib and bone
standing ont in startling prominence
the strange animal presented an appear
ance that would at once attract the at
tention of any artist looking for model
for a picture of antiquated animal life.
How old is the animal, uncle?" we
asked. "He looks like he might be
classed as patriarch among four-footed
beasts"
"Wal, partner, thar's some difference
OF opinion regardin' the length Of time
he's graced this airth. Thar's some set
tiers mp my way thet claim he amt any
more'n five or six hundred years old, but
Tn willin' to bet my hope O glory agin
iackknife thet Jerusalem war one O
the chosen ones thet tux trip with
Noah in the ark. If l war jist as sure OF
comectin' on heaven rs I am thet this
animie hoated around in thet shower, I
could hear the harps twangin' now.
Wat braces me up III this opinion air
the fact that every time it begins to rain
the old cuss gifts Uneasy an lights ont
fur the top.o' some hill. had him over
on the Big Horn the time the sojers
came UP i'll boat, an the mint the old
coot seed that boat a foatin' in the water
he looked up at the clouds to see if ther
war a storm comm up. 1t happened
ter look like rain that day, an ding my
eyes of he didn't let out a snort of alarm,
an in spite Of all l could do he TUX to
the water with me on his back, an swan
ont to that boat. The soiers had to beat
him off wi the butts o their guns afore
l could steer him ashore agiu."
"And so you think he was in the ark,
then?"
81 do, but reckon at that time he
war only kid and knowed mighty little
about the proper use of his heels. If
he'd possessed the accomplishments
then that he does now, this airth would
be hoNlin waste, fur he'd converted
that air ark into kindlin' wood and q
drownded every critter on board afore
they'd bin afioat ten minutes. tried
ter break him O the habit once, but at
ter the trial l jest give up an settled
down to the opinisn that he was the
champion kicker o the world. Afore
goin' to bed one night / backed him up
to a barricade o logs that I'd fixed fer
i'm. It war four feet high, twelve feet
long and about seven feet thick. the
logs benz bound together with rawhide
thongs. When [ backed the old snooze,
up he looked around sideways an ap-
peared to know jest wat the barricade
war there fur. He turned loose on it,
an ! went to bed, an fur three hours
Law thar an listened to the fool whack.
in away, maxim fair average o twenty
kicks to the minute. Finally went to
sleep, an wen ! woke up i'll the mornin
all war as still as death I got up ex
pectin' to find either dead mule or
penitent one, but when [ opened the
cabin door the logs war gone an thai
stood this Identical critter on sawdust III
to his knees, a holdin mp one hind foo
an fannin' it with his off ear. Ii vor
don't believe it jest come over to M,
ranch on Snake river an I'll show yor
the sawdust."
For diseases Of the nerves, brain. bloc,