The Baltimore County union., 1881-01-29
THE AMBIDExTRoUs REPORTER.

The Kansas City Times says: There
is porter At the Times Office who writes
with equal rapidi,y with either hand.
He is an ambidcxicr, and bold, bad
one at that. When there IS rush Of
work at the Office, and the devil is shout
ing ''coppcc" like fcnd incarna;c, this
useful reporter sits down at his desk in
full company front, and with pencil in
cachhand, sling> of local happenings by
the yard. He writes on two sheets II
once, and don't let his right hand know
what his left hand is driving II, bu; It's
driving all the same.
Recently he got little off his mental
base. and attempted 10 write up dog
fight and wedding in high life Z; the
same time. He got things mixed. His
hands ran clear away with the gray mat
ter in his skull, and things became ter
ribly confused. This is the way his items
;cleScoped each other:
At Grace Church, last night, the
nup;ials of Mr.. Thomas Johnson and
Miss Julia Lawrence were celebrated in
most magnificent style; costly floral
horseshoe being directly over the altar,
and when the yellow cur saw the flames
of singer dsrting from the eyes of the
brindlc fysic, he opened with the strains
of the wedding march. As the hand
some couple walked down the aisle the
excited crowd beganto get frantic, and
there were yells OF ''Sick en- Bull -
IA; him now, Towser," rs the spccta-
tors became interested in the tight. The
bride was elegantly attirei in pure white
garments OF the most costly fabric, and
she wore the traditional white veil and
wreath OF orange blossoms had him by
the neck, and his tongue began TO loll
out and his eyes TO turn somersaulis As
If in the customary black dress suit,
white gloves, cars cropped 10 his head.
He was disrcpuiablc looking dog in
the beginning, and ought 20 have bccn
whipped for being so hoInely. He Is Of
good family, and is engaged in one Of
the extensive manufacturing establish
ments in the West. But the yellow cur
seemed to Be getting the advantage, As
he now succeeded in getting 4 death
grip on the throat OF the big brindie,
and when he iendcrly kissed the bride
according 10 the ancient custom, his
back was covered with mud and his of
hind leg was terribly chewedup. Among
the costly presents received by the happy
pair were fine grand piano from the
father Of the bride, hair had bccn scald-
cd from his hack, and one eve seemed
TO have been struck with IN augur.-
After short bridal tour the happy
couple will settled down 20 one OF the
hardes;-foughi battles the reporter ever
witnessed, and il was difficult TO tell
which dog had been punished worst
The fight ended I; exactly AS, after
having been bitterly contested n the
residence Of the brides parents, and he
was taken TO his owners home in 4
whcelharrow. He will probably never
recover, and il he does viii be totally
blind, besides being permanently lame IN
the left hind leg the beautiful bride re-
ceivcd the congratulations Of 4 hoSi Of
friends. The groom Is one OF our most
promising young men and his owner
breads the possibility Of losing him, Is
he fears iha; nc can never replace him.
The father Of the bride Is ere Of our
weal;hieS; merchants, and the yellow
fys;e limpcd of with : knowing look in
his eve and saucy curl in his tail, rs
much rs 10 Say, Who else wants 20 Try
me ?"
The ambidexier was susA.narily
erred"