Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1881-11-24
a Sioux Bill of Fare.

bVoultIAlE.
One of the peculiarities of the latest
United States style of feeding the noble
red man is the fact that he is given
government ratiOns and ut the same
time appropriations are made which
are supposed to maintain him.
Sometime a wild Indian who don't
know much about groceries and how
to prepare them for food, comes in and
draws his regular soldier ration i'm this
way. For instance up in the Sitting
Bull country awhile ago, an Indian
came in from the warpath who had
never seen any of the pale face style
of food, and drew his rations.
He made light meal of green un-
ground coffee the first day, and rs he
over ate. and the coffee swelled on him.
he had difficulty in buttoning his pants
around the pain that he had on hand.
He felt very unhappy for a day or
two but, laid it to the fact that he hadn't
exeIc ised much, and the consequent
ennui and digestion resulting therefrOm.
a soon as he had succeeded in get
ting the interior department quieted
down little, he tackled his ration of
candles. These he decided to par-boil.
in order to avoid trouble from indiges-
ton. The dish was not so much of a
glittering success as be had anticipated,
and he remorsefully picked the candle
wicking out of his teeth with a tent
pin, he made some remarks that grated
harshly on the aesthetic ears of those
who were standing near.
He then tried a meal of yeast pow
der with vinegar. He ate the yeast
powder and took pint OF extremely
potent vinegar to wash it down.
AT first there was a feeling of glad
surprise in his stomach which rapidly
gave place TO unavailing remorse.
a can of yeast powder in an Indians
midst don't seem to be prepared for a
pint of vinegar, and the result of such
an unfortunate combination is not
gratifying.
Every little while a look of pain
would come over the features of the
noble child of the forest, and then he
would Jump about seventeen feet and
try to kick cloud down out of the sky.
Then he would sit down and think over
his past live.
1t took about week for him to get
back to where he prepared to get up an
other meal for himself. Then he fric-
aseed a couple of pounds of laundry
soap and ate that.
Soap is all right for external purposes.
or for treating n pair of soiled socks,
but 1t does not assimilate with the
gastric juices readily, and those who
have tried fried laundry soap as a relish
do not seem to think that it will ever
arrive at any degree of prominence as
an article of diet.
This is why this untutored child of
the forest swore. He had never received
the benefits of early training in pro-
family, and his language therefore was
disconnected and rambling, but when
we consider that he was ignorant of
our language, and that every little while
he had to stop and hold on to his di.
gester with both hands and dig holes
in the earth with his toes, the remarks
didn't seem altogether out of place or
irrevelant.
When a gallon or so of agitated bak-
ing powder and vinegar is singing its
little song in the innermost recesses Of
an Indian, and this has been followed
by a treatment Of laundry soaD, the
student Of human nature can find a
wide field for observation in that locali-
ty. The earnest and occupied look, the
troubled expression of the countenance,
followed by the quick, nervous twitch-
ing Of the muscles of the face and then
the swelling up Of the body, the burst
ing of the suspender button, the deep
drawn sigh and the smotheTed cuss
words, all betoken the gastric agitation
going ON within.
That is why an Indian prefers link
of bologna sausage and two-year-old
dog to the high-priced groceries so COM
mon to our modern civilization.