Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1881-05-25
HUMPrY-DUMPrY.

?. I. B1rnum has recovered nearly all
the flesh he lost. Il pays to advertise
IDanbury News.
The politess men in the world are those
who tell the collector to call again. New
Orleans Picayune.
When that curious woman was turned
into a pillar of salt, her Lot was not a
happy one.-[ Transcript.
Old people are generally in their anec-
dotage, and the result is history gets
mixed.-[New York Commercial Adver'
tiser.
'Silk stockings at this season !" ''Yer, .
she said, with the utmost naivete. 81
always wear my best stockings in windy
weather. u Brooklyn Eagle.
"Do you drink ?" said temperance re-
former to beggar who had implored aims
of him, g Yes, thank you" returned the
candid pauper "where shall we go"
Death finally makes an end of the man
who made " no end of fun" But it makes
an end OF the man who never had no fun
in him as well. Cincinnati Saturday
Night.
The extent to which adulteration of food
is carried on nowadays is very alarming.
One of our citizens bought a pie recently
whose two crusts were so close together as
to chafe each other Danbury News.
Next year they are going to have steam.
ers which will cross the ocean in seven
days. This is three days for sea-sickness,
two for recovery, and the other two for
watching for land. -[Detroit Free Press.
The late Henry Vandine, of Cambridge,
Mass, bequeathed one.third of his prop
erty, which consisted of valuable real
estate, to his wife, and the remainder to
the American Millennial Association Of
Boston, for the gratuitous distribution OF
Second Advent papers and tracts.
The Omaha (Neb.) Bee tells the story of
one James f. McCann of that city, who at
different times and in different places has
found $3.50 in green5acks, $4,000 in ma
tional bank notes. Sl5, 900 in bank notes,
and 800, 900 in Union Pacific land certifi-
Gates. and in all the cases easily found the
rightful owners.
John Newton says: 81 measure minis.
tiers by square measure. l have no idea
of the size of a table if you only tell me
how long it is; but if you also say how
broad, can tell its dimensions. So when
Won tell me what q man is IN the pulpit, you
must also tell me what he is out Of it, or l
shall not know his size"
In the office of the Secretary of New
Mexico, at Santa Fe, are deposited the
most ancient documents in the United
States, running back nearly 100 years be.
fore the landing of the Pilgrims at
Plymouth. One of these historical treas.
=. IS he NJ
Mexico in 1894, signed by Diego de
Vargas.
The last Parliamentary election in Glou
cester, Eng, has been made subject O.
investigation, and the result is an appalling
disclosure of venality and corruption. o
the 4, 904 voters, 2,756 were bribed, ant
oS6 more were the bribers. The black lis
includes two Aldermen, three magistrates
fifteen members of tie City Council ans
numerous other high officials.
In an Obscure junk-shop in Baltimore
there now lies rusting the iron PROV of thu
famous steamer Merrimac. that destroyed
two frigates III Hampton Roads during the
rebellion, and was a menace to all tn,
commerce and seaport cities of the Uniol
until worsted in the memorable conflic
with the Monitor. The PROV or ram
weighs only about l, $50 pounds, aud coulc
doubtless be purchased for few cents pc
pound.
Henry Labouchere, the editor of Londor
Truth, is very manly dcbater, and never
sqneaIs. He says /" For my part, know
that am old fashioned indeed, may say
that and some two or three Liberals, ar,
the sole political descendantso of the BaronI
of Magma Charta, who met attacks upoI
liberty with the reply: Nolumus lege'
AngGa mutari' Nevertheless, the pres
emit mania for arbitrary power will, l an
convinced, be as short lived as that fo
Jingoism. From Philip drunk appeal tc
Philip sober"