The Brookhaven ledger. (Brookhaven, Miss.) 1875-1883, 1881-03-31
Our 1essfff.

A rising man-one blown up by a
boiler.
Cool, but not always collected-an
ice bill.
Tic path of duty-Through the Gus
tomhouse,
The milky way-from the barnyard
to the pump.
Adam missed the greatest luxuries
Of life, He couldn't laugh IN MS
sleeve.
If your landlady's daughteri is pretty,
You may say: "Please pass me 'n"'
honey,
A New York paper wants to know
what the penalty is for opening pos
tai card.
Very few brass bands in a military
parade can play as many airs as the
drum major puts on.
The composition who sets up $l0,ooo
to read 1000 might have prevented 'ni'
mistake by q little fourth aught'
A poodle dogs nose is Just three
times as cold as his body, and now let
Mars moons alone and solve this puz
gle.
Wbv is n Hanson cab Il dangerous
carriacato drive in? Because the coache
man always drives over your head
How beautiful is a woman's smile.
And vet somehow we don't like to see
II when she has her false teeth out.
Eyerything seems to be adulterated
n~ow1livs except oysters and eggs, and
they often outlive their usefulness.
Ga being asked the composition OF
limestone, a brilliant geological stu
dent answered: Limo and stone."
Giles filing his last cavity" said a
Young dentist, as they lowered the
Hcdy Of his deceased partner into the
grave.
Some one SAYS a woman's glory is IN
her hair. but the hash house boardcr
will tell you all depends upon where 1t
is.
What is the difference between a
posl hole and a speaking trumpet?
One is hollo we'd out and the other Is
hoIlered in.
Sumerville traducers say that for the
period of a month before marriage,
and a month after death, men regard
their wives as angels.
What is the difference between q
spider and a sea-gull? One has ms
feet on a web, and the other has a web
on his feet.
Some of our saloon counters are toe
low. These, with the short straws
used. are making many of our young
men round-shouldered.
A philosopher who went to church
where the people came i'll late, said II
was the fashion there for nobody to &c
till everybody got there.
A man who went to church last Sun,
day remarked afterward that he pre-
ferred the organ to the preacher.
There seemed to be a stop to the organ.
Always tnke a rope into your room
at fine hotel. Il may enable You to
side ont even when there IS no lire. a
big bill is about as bad as g conhagra'
ton.
Paddy, reading n paper, notices an
article headed Queen VIctorias
Traits" and remarks, "And L didn't
know the ould lady was given to liquor
at ALL"
An exchange says an Albany man
who used to live on ten cents a day,
died wealthy. He may have died
wealthy. but we will bet money he
didn't die fat.
A Davenport iowa Trishman discuss :
ing tho strike with a friend, protested
that he'd rather stand up and be
shot at, and clear kilt, than to live al
the while starved to death.
A four-year old adds another to the
list of remarkable juvenile speeches.
She was asked where she expected to
90 when her mamma died, and replied;
"To the funeral, | s'pose."
An cid gentleman who had dabbed
ali his life in statistics says be never
heard of Int one woman who insured
her life. He accounts for this by the
singular fact of II of the questions
being "What is your age?'
SAYS q pathetic writer: "Letu US gaze
down the vista of by>gone years. No,
Young man, don't do it. You may see
an unpaid washerwoman, with bare
arms. hiding behind q tree and praying
for dire vengeance on your head.
Don't gaze down the vista
Mamma, where do the COWS get the
milk?7 asked Willie, looking up from
the foaming pan OF milk which he had
been i~ntently regarding. "Where do
yon get your ~tears?" was the answer.
After n thoughtful silence he again
broke out: "Mamma, DO the cows have
to be spanked?'
"Wo have got to practice the most
rigid economy at such a time as this,
remarked a man the other day to a
crnwi on the sidewalk. 81 have
stopped all the papers for which L for
merry subscribed, and don't buy candy,
TOYS and such trumpery for the chill,
dren: times are hard. Come IN. boys,
and take a drink"
A Kansas girl named Sleepy mars
ried recently a gentleman by the name
of Tired. When the ceremony was
oyer 4 thoughtless yonng lady guest
sang I'm Tirel now and Sleepy too,
come pat me i'll" But some one
coughed very loudly. and there was an
agoniziug silence about four yards