Saint Mary's beacon. [volume] (Leonard Town, Md.) 1867-1983, 1881-02-03

found here: so he you back to OdIn."
"lf you will only be gracious, ! win
promise TO STAY, (oi course you want
me TO, but are much too modest to say
SO, and theorize aboutthe changeabiiity
Of earthly maids TO your hearts content.
You know some poet, forget his name,
says, whom we love first We seldom
wed. Isuppose that will apply to wo-
men as welt as men. If that is so. Bre-
Ia, tell me whom you loved first
He had folaed my hand in his, and
leaned caresringly over in the growing
darkness. My heart stopped It's regu-
lar beats. ard al luminous fear took pos
session of me, bat my voice was clear
and cold as 1 answered:
~ have never loved before. You are
my first and only love. Let that say
ing be true: do not fear il. do not
dread solitary life."
"You think 10 now, but life seems
Insupportable stretched out before a
feminine mind without a masculine arm
TO shelter and guide her."
A light scorn showed in my voice as
| said:
perhaps we are not 70 weak as you
give us credit with being. ! believe IT
possible for a woman to contemplate
such life without quaillng or dread
| think only noble, spiritual soul Of
any kind will be able to escape the es-
tate God made natural 10 AS without
faint or blemish, and shine with light
from the refining FIRE. But you put Us
too low il you think Us Incapable Of a
sacrifice depriving Us OF this life."
And yet, what woman cares most
for ia this world Is Q man."
My eyes flashed angrly. and said
with scornful emphasis, Tor our moods
chased unwoniedly: Then the wo.
men may have ell the men in christen-
dom--I want none Of them" ~
mot so fast, please; | want you 10
reserve one poor manikin, who humbIy
hopes he has not offended you. am
SO thoughtlrss, Breta: I had no inten-
ton OF wounding the woman love best
in the world. You believe me, darling"
he said, tenderly.
II was hard to resist when his voice
pleaded losIy for forgiveness, but my
ideal wa. outraged; some respect for his
character was gone and notwi.h-tand-
ing my mos strenuous efforts 10 rriusia'e
him on The lony height he had occupied
IN my heart found 1t impossible TO
restore him TO the pedestal from which
he had f,llen, and sadly lifted nv Gal
len idol with tender, regretfu hands
and placed him on a lower stand.
81 have nothing 10 fo-giye," ] said,
plying myself: IF had no right 10 be
angered; YOU are but man and echo
the sentiments OF YOUR kind. You FOL-
low the course Of others, judge us BY
yourselves, and at once derIde that sn
elevated, spiritual life is beyond aud
above US, has been attained By men,
say you, but as TO women-bah let
them keep TO their sphere. They new
er have accomplished anything grea.
and never wall; therefore let them keep
of the track and avoid the derisiOn Of
manly v,ctors. See how fear Of scorn
yelled many of our women writers, I'LL
assured success allowed them 10 I'M
mask their heads What dad they fear
That the basillsk eyes Of some reviewer
would detect feminine name on the
title page and consign the whole work
TO the waste basket"
GAS 10 the concealment Of names,
Breta, the men do il as much as the wo-
men or at least used 10 doit. ! care moth
ing Tor reviewers, or for any man or wo-
man in the world but cue. | almost
suspect you have had your fingers
burned, you speak so bitterly. But,
Breta, love you sincerely; cannottell
you how much, but am very sure you
believe me. Darling, do not study so
much; you will injure your health; will
you not promise me TO give Il upS Let
it be Christmas gilt"
For moment, his voice seemed
sweet aad gentle, breathing love that
yervaded and surrounded me; the next,
thought he does not wish TO marry a
broken down woman, SO ! said light
ly;"
Ou HFfu uOt. N0NuSFt bO NOuDg
am not old or wise yet. Wartlill you see
some evidence Of my possessing that
priceless commodity: then shake your
head sagely at me and cry, told you so.
But, 10 truth, ! am not studying much
now; have been unwcll and unable to
concentrate my thoughts sufficiently for
study. II | were able, would not dare
promise 10 refrain from looking into my
beloved comprehensive friends who
talk severely sometimes, but with wis
dom at all times. | feel that knowledge
and wisdom are worth more TO me than
all the treasures OF Cresus."
$50 you will not promise. | seldom
ask you TO do me favor, but may al
ways know the answer TO expect"
"How, prsyi"
Chow by other occasions. Have
not repeatedly asked you TO do things
that would not Inconvenience you, but
would cblige me, and there was always
some excuse"
"You are not generous 10 attempt TO
deprive me Of almost my only pleasure.
You cannot appreciate what you are
asking. Remove my books, and the
horrors Of Dante's Inferno would
bear no comparison to the hideous
despair and desolation of my mind.
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