davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Morning journal and courier., 1881-05-12
CONFIRMED.

l Speaking of oleomargarine: ''They told me it was false butter still believe it true."- l Boarding House Ffe'ad-
 1 Schoolmistress-What is the dative of | donum What Next Next? Next? Ounce Do'no. s. M.-Correct. Go to the head | HdrUdrd Lnnlpoo1a-
 gentleman calling on farmer, observed. | 'sMr. Jones, your clock is not quite right, is I it ?" ''Well, you see, sir," said Mir. Jones, clock but me. When the hands of that clock I stands at twelve, then it strikes two, and then ! knows it's twenty minutes to seven. "- ! Country Paper.
 Madame X. asks her husband for new ! dress. ''But bless my soul, dear, this IS the | fourth new dress you've wanted in two
 months.'' Very well, very well; your l heartlessness will kill me, and you'll see If | the new dress I'll want then-plain white with satin facings to match the lining of the l coffin-won't cost a deal more." '1t may, my love, but it will be cheaper in the long | run-youn never want another !"-Ftgdr0. Emile Girardin. the great French journal I ist, used to rise at o'clock every morning. l And now he is dead. It is sad. sad lesson, | but let US not forget it's warning. Let us ! but lay our hands on our respective hearts and say that rather than initiate his fault, if ] it is necessary for us to be up at a. m., we | will sit up to it. To arise at it-ah, this
 too, too; it is too utterly Burlington ! HGaokeye.
 A young man, pale and visibly agitated, hurriedly entered Court street drug store
 late one night last week, and. accosting the clerk, said ''Give me an ounce of chlorate
 of potash, will you, as quick as you can ?''
 Observing his perturbation the clerk ventured | to ask: 'sWhat's your hurry?" "Why, I've been kissing our Sunday school teacher ! since o'clock, and she didn't tell me till ten minutes ago that she was afraid she had the diphtheria. ."-Brooklyn EGgle.
 It is very easy for one to sit in corner
 grocery, reading the proprietor's newspaper, and explain the business of journalism. To get out paper about 300 days in a year is an entirely different matter, and. possibly, somewhat more difficult. A good many peo- pie who have had beautiful theories about newspapers have found out their mistakes when they have attempted the practical. They have emerged from the experiment with the experience of the boy who was kicked by mule. Father" " said the boy, ''shall ever be as good looking as 1 was be- fore ?" No, my son" was the reply ',but you will know 8 d-d sight more."-Ne'o London IeLeQ76Hn
Morning journal and courier., 1881-05-12
Divorce. s411,Eoyl


 | The great improvement that the past five years has wrought in the laws relating to \ married women's property Is removing some of the objections to making our divorce laws more stringent. Formerly the wife's only l refuge from tyranny of the husband was in ! divorce. Now those married since, or who | have received property since, the passage of \ those laws can have their own property in case of separation, so that the extreme reme- ! dy is no longer needed by them. Still, the \ wife separated from the husband-except by ! his abandonment-has, even now, no right to her own children, unless of very tender years
 The repeal of the omnibus" clause, and I the requirement. of three months delay of di- l vorce causes on the docket of the court to which they are brought, no doubt have a l great influence in lessening the proportion of I divorces, but that is not all. Two-thirds of l the petitions for divorce under the old law | were on petition of the wife. This shows that ! escape from legal bondage rather than any de- sire of remarriage is the cause of large pro portion of the divorces.
 This important fact seems entirely to have escaped the notice of the gentleman (the Rev. Mir. Dike, of Vermont) who delivered an ad- dress. on the subject of divorce reform at Hartford on Wednesday evening of last week. The only generalization at which he arrives from mass of statistics is that the Yankee is divorcing animal-that the more well to-do and intelligent we get, the more rapidly we swap wives Not only is this the case in the eastern States, but in the West. Whenever the Yankee prevails, there laxity of the marriage tie pravails also. For in stanc, in the counties of the Western Re- serve in Ohio, the divorce rate exceeds even that of old Connecticut while in the southern counties of that State, settled mainly from the South, ,diyorces are comparatively infrequent. The Yankee city of Chicago-though not quite as bad reported-is yet remarkable even on the exact record for her divorces, while we presume that in Egypt the mar riage tie has much more apparent perma- hence.
 Reformers such as MT. Dike, who draw but one inference from the frequency of divorce that of a general corruption of morals-take as it seems to us, entirely too narrow a view of the case. In the first place there are no other indications that New Englanders are becoming hcentious, immoral race, as that gentleman seems to believe. Indeed the fact above adverted to, that twice as many wives apply for divorce ss husbands-a pro portion accurately observed, year after year lis utterly inconsistent with the theory of growing immortality. Women are not, with few exceptions, the immoral part of our pop ulation, and we feel certain that immortality is not the occasion of their applications for di- Yorce.
 We attribute the frequency of divorce rather to women's growing sensitiveness to the intolerable injustice of the common law marriage relation. Instead of submitting to that injustice as of old, she nowr rebels against l it. If our view is correct, the way to make
Morning journal and courier., 1881-05-12

Professor Dragomanoff writes to the PGTl 1h0U Gazette from Geneva that the signi6- canoe of the recent anti Jewish rising in Rus sia is much underrated. It extends, he says, through the Ukraine, which is full of Jews, between whom and the peasantry there has been an undying hatred for centuries. ''The trouble does not originate in religious ami mostly. It is purely social. It is the begin ming of social war, long foreseen by those familiar with the condition of the Ukraine. It may assume frightful proportions. Of the 3, ,O0O, 900 Jews in Russia, an immense ma jority are crowded together in the towns and cities of the South and West. In many towns they form majority of the popula- ton. Through their hereditary vacations as usurers, spirit dealers, traders, &c., they have made themselves masters alike of the indebted landlords and of the unfortunate peasants. It is the deep-rooted detestation of the peasant for the money-lender which is breaking out in the Ukraine"
Morning journal and courier., 1881-05-12

and in Mr. Disraeli's case it did not impede his entrance into the best circles. His father was an intimate friend of many of the most fastidious of mankind, and Lord Beaconsfeld was in very early years friend and pet of the highest families, and posed as an exclu- sive dandy of the first water. The London Lancet says that Lord Beaeonsfeld was an intensely nervous man who disguised the fact by slow and studied motions, all care fully preconceived, but looking to the ob- server like mechanical and absent minded acts
 The marriage of the Archduke Rudolph, future Emperor of Austria, and the Princess Stephanie of Belgium, which took place in Vienna Tuesday, WAS truly gorgeous affair. s'To him that hath shall be given. ".and among the presents on this occasion were the following: From the city of Pesth-a duplicate of the famous girdle of Queen Isa- bella Zapolyi, consisting of four exquisite gold chains held together by set of medal lions, a gorgeous necklace. studded with precious stones, six buckles, pair of ear pend ants and five hair pins. The precious stones | ASSeO~~~~- W four large rubies, Il ,OOO diamonds and sos opals of unrivalled beauty. From Leo XIII. "a table incrusted with precious stones, and collection of works of art From the nobles of Austria and Hungary-a $7O, LOCO album of pictures of the scenery Ill the Car pathians and along the Danube, the Princes s favorite hunting ground. From the noble ladies of Brussels-a prayer book in gothic characters of gold picked out with blue, on vellum, with miniatures. From the court Of Brussels-an album with ffty-six pictures of rooms, scenes of interest to the groom and bride, as their own apartments, and the con- servatory where they were betrothed. From the Prince-a pheton almost all of gold, with two dwarf ponies. From the Austrlans of Cairo-an Egyptian smoking set and silver table on 5000 rug. From Queen Victoria-a magnificent set of embossed silver. with epergnes. From the manufac- turers of Vienna--a $40, 900 casket enclosing an illuminated address. From the Emperor "a diadem of brilliants, that can be convert ed into a necklace, broach, earrings and bracelets From President Grevy-a parasol of Beauvais tapestry, Sevres china.and Gobe- lin tapestries From the Count of Flanders "a fan of wrought gold, painted with shepherds wedding. Nearly every large town in the monarchy has offered it's souve- nir-from one a dinner service in crystal set with precious stones masterpiece of Bohe- milan art ; from another stand of firearms from a third monster portfolio, cunningly adorned with fligree of gold and steel and containing views of Austrian scenery by the first artists of the land. There are goblets. caskets, vases and cups innumerable, jewels and furs, wonderful pieces of furniture, car pets and lace enough to set up palace.
Morning journal and courier., 1881-05-12

Some of the inhabitants of Milwaukee are finding fault because so many of the munich pal offices are filled by Germans. Of the twenty-six Aldermen sixteen are of German birth, two-thirds of the school trustees are of the same nation, and so are, with one ex- ception, all of the employees of the City Treasurer's, the Comptroller's, the County Clerks and the Registers offices. It is not denied that the German officeholders attend well to their duty.
Morning journal and courier., 1881-05-12

What good will the immigration of north ern men and money do the South asks the Meridian CMiss.) Mercury. It answers it's question in the following chaste and elegant language: "WelI, they set us an example of economy and thrift that don't belong to the southern eharacter-and, for one, we hope never will. Give the generous open hearted southern character forever, instead of the mean, stingy, stink-fngered thrift of the genuine Yankee
Morning journal and courier., 1881-05-12

The little town of Clayton, about twenty miles below Camden, New Jersey, has just settled the liquor question in an original and effective way. The proprietor of the only public house in the place had considerable stock of wine and spirits which he was un- willing to throw away and was licensed to sell. Upon this presentation of facts the people formed a Temperance Hotel Compa- ny with capital of $s, 1000 divided into $1O shares, bought the public house and all it's belongings, including liquor license. The town hall, the doxology sung and the liquor was poured upon blazing bonfire. The Temperance Hotel Company is prepared to pursue the same course whenever it be- comes necessary in the future.
Morning journal and courier., 1881-05-12
Price Four Cents.

marriage permanent is to make it just Much has been done towards this in Connecticut; but all these ameliorations are prospective, not retrospective. Ten, or twenty, or thirty years hence, when the liberal laws of TT and '78 have really changed the legal condition of married women (which they have but barely begun to do as yeti we shall hope to see the divorce rate diminished. and woman remain ing content in an equal marriage bond
Morning journal and courier., 1881-05-12
EDITORIAL NOTES.

The city of Boston has discontinued it's evening high school on the ground of want of accommodation and insufficient return for
 the outlay.
The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1881-07-27
Some Remarkable Dogs.
Harrington Hawkeye |

dyes" the old man said, with confir-
matory Sigh. Then he added: You Know
that shaggy, rough.hliTed Scotch terrier OF
Rem Martins Well, sir, Ben he sent TO
Phlladelphy and got couple o. dozen SILK
worms and fed Fem to the dog, n'-ye
baint seen the terrier since last Saturday,
have yep
No. the editor hadn't seen the dog nor
Martin himself since April.
"Well, sir, | hope may die some time II
that dogs hair haint come out the softes',
finest silk fringe We ever saw IN your HE !
Silk fringe, with braid two inches deep
along bis back, an ball Of chenille hangin'
from the end Of each ear. Ben's going to
buy couple o. hundred cheap long-haired
dogs, feed 'em silk worms and shear 'em
every spling."
The editor thought he would like TO see
the dog some time, when Ben had time to
bring him IN. And he plunged bis pen into
the ink two or three times, as though he
wonld write something.
eyes" the old man sighed again. And
once more Frightening up. he resumed
81 saw" he exclaimed, "you remember
that long-legged, ornary-lookin' meat
hound OF Dick Rogers, don't ye, that Killed
Lem Crandell's sheep last February
The editor expressed a faint, very
faint recollection Of Dick ROgers's dog, and
Mr.. ThistlepOd went on:
"Well, the boys had little target.shoot
over TO Mosey Stringer's place on the Fourth
Of July, and while they was shootin', II that
blamed, hungry, starvelin' OF dog didn't
get at the box and eat up more n twenty
cartridges On my life il he didn't Make
him sick? Not hair OF him. He Just
fIi,ked around an seemed to feel better for
il. Well, sir, about IL O'Clock that night
the dog went off,"
"NO!" exclaimed the editor, with more
interest than he bad yet displayed. "By
George! Did be make big noise! Did
he though? Hurt anybody"
"No," the old man said, rising TO 90,
"reckon not; he just went off with Bill
HOckenbury, that comes TO see Rogers's
big red-haired girl. He came back next
mornin'"
And the editor returned to the business
on the Speakers table, while the heavy
tread OF the honest old agricuturalis'
faded away down the distant stairs, amid
the heartless, mocking laughter OF the
younger men on the staff.
The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1881-07-27

II Is recorded that Mccullough recteu
before tbe Princess OF Wales at reception
given by the Duchess OF Manchester, and
that he made the future Queen OF EnglaDd
weep. That's nothing. There are elocu-
tionists who can Tecite in way to make
every body sick.
The New Haven Register says: The idea
having got abroad that nothing but row.
Ing is taught at Yale, we think II incumbent
upon us TO say that excellent facilities Ior
learning football and baseball can be Oh
tanned at the new athletic grounds.
Tire average good citizen OF Indiana has
been compelled TO vote six times during tne
las, fen months, and is calling for respite.
In PHILADELPHIA men have been known 10
vote ten times in six minutes, and they ra'
Their enjoyed it, too.
London Judy has picture OF two young
ladies' IN scanly hathing'Suits, VINO are Slt'
ting on rocks and keeping their walking
limbs cool i'm the sea. One says, Z" cOhId
sin here forever; and the other says, "And
/ till Iunch.time."
An Erie Young man has been turned out
Of church for dancing. He pow wishes
that he had gone to a Sunday.schoOl picnic
and Rugged and kissed the girls in the re-
ligous game Of Copenhagen, ana mus re-
tanned his good standing in church.
"And so you learn dancing. Bob? AND
how do you like valsing!" "Oh. us no!
bad. can manage very well myself, but
think q girls rather in the way"
The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1881-07-27

rne,roi. Pre- prs.r--LImeliln clab.l

fDcfroit Free PTesf--bimckihC tao'l
oAt midnight las night said the old
man in A solemn voice as he looked UP anu
down the a,sles, "st midnight las night de
sneerit OF Brudder Charles Climax oosu-
mort. A local member Of dis club, passed from
r,arth 20 de unknown. Only week ago
he ga. in dis ball; tonight be am dressed
for de- grave. What ackshun VIII oe c'uo
81 s,pose sah,v said the Rev. Penstock,
as he rose up, "dit Il am IN order 10 pre-
sent resolushun TO dc efeck dat ne was
man OF de highest integrity, hberalnea,,eu,
hIgh.mInded, an dat his loss am sad DO"
to de hull cityf"
"Yes, such resolushum am 10 orusr.
Brudder Penstock, can you remember ia.
YOU eber took Brudder Goshport Dy 9e sanu
an gin him word OF praise iur III" uaiu
work an honest wayss"
"I-I-doan' remember dat eOer uiu'
sah."
Am dar pusson In dis ball who Kin re-
member dat he eber put hlsself out TO favor
Brudder Goshport
Not man answered.
0Kin DIV one OF you remember dat you
took any pertickular interes' In how he got
aiOngf"
"To be a little palmer" continued the
presIdeut. "am dsr one single pusson in
dis hall who eber felt five cents worth OF
anxiety for Brudder Goshporps worldly or
spiritual welfare 2"
The hall was so quiet that the sound OF
Elder Toots rubbing bis back on the sharp
edge Of window-casing gave everybody a
start.
"Not man in dis hull city, so far as we
know. eber put hissef out TO do favor Tor
or speak word in praise Of our lamenied
brudder, an yet we have de cheek 10 TAX
OF a resoIushun settin' forth his many var.
tues an our heartfelt sorrow. No, sir
We doan' pass no SIGH bizness beab!
should be ashamed TO look his wilder IN &c
face IL we did. 1t am de way Of de world
TO let men alone iist when a leeile help
would give 'em broad an easy road. We
bar OF dis man or dat man havin' won dc
gratitude OF de people, but we doan har oil
II until he am dead. When man has gone
from y'arth de papers and de public sud
denly diskiver how honest he was; what q
big heart be bad; how much good he was
allus doin', and what loss to de world his
death will prove. De time to praise man
is when be ON Twin beside us. Praise
hurts nobody but many good man has
grown weary fur de want Of appreciasbun'
Heah am seventy-two Of us in dis hall to-
night, an we baye to own up dat not one
of us cher went outer our way to prove To
our brudder dat his gentle ways, his squar'
dealin', an his upright life war any mo-
precIated by us dan as If he had been boss
thief! An to pass resolushun would be
10 brand ourselves as bypocrites. Let no
man daT to offer one"
The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1881-07-27

NEGRO PROVERBS PROM SCRIBNER.-" 1t
don't take no prophet to rickerlec BAD
luck.
obey don't hab no Ioaiers in de martin
box.
"De wire.grass lubs lazy Niger
"Dar's right smart 'liglon In a plow-
handle.
"Twelye erclock nebber is in hurry.
"Nebber pend too much on dc DiackDer-
ry blossoms.
"Don't bet on 'tater hill befV' de grab
blin' time.
"Heap O. good cotton.s'aks gifts chopped
I'D fun 'sociatn' wild de weeds.
"Mauy a nice corn-siIk winds up Wid q
nubbin in de fall.
"a chickcn.Toos' is de debbuPs steel-trap,
and grassy corn row !, bis fower'garden.
ODE mornin' glories amt pertickler lub'
is to man wild de blckache."
The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1881-07-27
Fem Benton on de ,sassination.

ChiIlun, dis heah 'sassinatlOn haO filled
yor fader wild mob s0lemneSs dan be eber
knod befoh. Wen Linkum was killed de
ewes was used ter SEEM blood an de heart
dull wild mournin' fob death. But dis fOun'
de ole man onperpared.
Las fall 70 fader was gin Garfield, kaSe
de Justice Oh de peace was noah sartin on
de udder side de fence. But he was not 70
fader's candida he am his President. He
am ebry 'MerIcan's Pres'de from &c JUS
tice OBJ de peace down Ter humblest hoer oh
de cane. Wen dat 'sassin shot at him, he
shot at OF OBJ us, an de wound was mlde in
de national heart, an de shadder oh death
crossed ebry harth in de land.
Fob de fus' time ia his 'Speerience yo
fader am weaknin' on de justice Oh de
peace. Dis 'sassinstiOn 90 guberment
'fcials am gittin' so common dat fuss ting
yo knows de red hand Oh murder will be
persumptious nuff ter periorate de chief
executive oh dis township.
Hit mus be squelched. Dis 'sassin mus
make de salutatory OH de new pogram.
Ell bit goes on somebody will hab a spell
OBJ dis kind arter ebry Election.
Wen man knows huff TO track his vic
tim like dis 'sassin did he am 'telligent
'nuff ter stretch hemp.
Wen be peryides fob gittin' away in a
style dat shows he 'speeted ter be hung ef
he was cOtcbed he ortener be disappointed.
Oar hab been nun OF fool laws foh de in
sane; what we want now am sane laws fob
de fools.
You al clar out now vile so fader studies
wedder
Ter be or not ter be
| Justice Ob de peace. Ef hit
| Am better ter git an accident policy
An' continner to lib In greatness.
1 Or ter resign befOh de 'sassn shoots,
An'ielire applugged ter private life.
The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1881-07-27
rxerxsnsnr swelIing.
But UNCLE RUFUS HATCH rgsDioTs sHhih
ACE AND A DEMAND FOR BRIDGES

BUT UNCLE RUFUS HAIth FhbDIeio
Aog AND DEMAND roR BRIDGES.
From the New York sun.l
The stock Indicator ratified OF us quota
lions faster than ever, aud Uncle kuins
again made break for It. lie studied the
tiqures closely, and began to cbirrup IKE .
fall cricket. Everything Is swelling nova
days. be observed. ~ know lots OF men
who are twice as big as they used 10 De-
But the day OF sb1nkage Is a-coming.
Elijah Smith tells a story about nrn
out on the Burlington and Quincy ROAD
that wep: into the peanut business. one
Of the partners, representing q large
German clearinghouse, was 10 furnish
the rooster, and the other partner tne
peanuts. After the peanuts were roasted
they were TO divide. Well, they neayed
busbel OF COOLERS into the rooster. Wnen
they came out the shriDkage was so great
that the German clearinghouse claimed an
the nuts. The other partner was DUMP
founded. But he didn't 90 to law. ne
caught one Of Jay Gould's inspirations. ne
cbucked the shrunken nuts into a barrel OF
water and they sweled all his capital back
and gave him mortgage on the roaster
besides. His partner paid him for the priVi-
lege Of dissolviug the co-partnersbip. Inat
feIlow'll find his way TO Wall street In due
time and make himself appreciated, see II
he don't"
The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1881-07-27
Tricks win tna Telephone.
HOW jim FLOOD WAS CAUGHT, AND SUISSE
oUENrLY REvENGED.


From the San Francisco Examiner
They were a party OF smarlly. dressed
stock gamblers, seated at the rOund-table in
the Occidental restaurant, and all OF them
inclined to be communicative.
"Say, have you heard that story about
Floods telephone 2" said one.
"NO; let's have it,"
"Well, wait till finish this iricandeau
Now, all listeniDgY You see these tele
phone wires can't be connected with like
ordinary telegraph n don't understand the
principle myself), but at any rate, 10 order
20 steal message you've got to cut the
wire and connect with both ends. That:
what they did with Floods, and they fol-
lowed up his orders TO his broker until
they were a good ways ahead"
"Who did!"
"WelI, never mind that. Wait Till I'm
through with the story. Presently old
Flood discovered that when be gave his
brokers orders by telephone TO buy, Other
parties got in considerably ahead Of him
He investigated, and 1t was just the same
when he ordered sale. Did he quit then
Oh, no; he just hired man TO look after
that wire, and the detective traced it tC
where II was cut IN tue middle, and the two
ends brought down into certain place, sC
that every message had to be transmitted
twice each way"
"Well, what could he do about ity"
await and you'll see; don't be impa-
tient lie Just heeled that fellow to say
nething about II, and privately he gave hi:
broker orders to reverse all Instructions
For instance, II he ordered thirty Mexican
bought, 10 sell it,"
Well. OF course, II wasn't long until hC
got bis money back"
"0i course not, and all the smart Aleck'
had besides"
ais that sof Who told youf"
"He did himself; but don't give u
away"