The Aberdeen examiner. [volume] (Aberdeen, Miss.) 1866-current, 1881-04-28
EAn2 PHYSICIANS.
WAY 10 WEI Never do 80 Call
Them Cor u very sick Man.

Al S.. Louis doctor factory recently
turned out doz n female doctors. AS
long as the female doctors w,re conh1ed
to one or two m the whole county, and
those were only experimental, We held
orr peace. and did not complain; hut
row TINT the colleges are engaged in
producing female doctors rs a business,
we must protest, and in so doing will
give few reasons why female doctors
will not prove paying branch OF indus
try,
In the first place, if they doctor any,
body II must be women, and three
Toufths of the women would rather have
male doctor. Suppos those colleges
turn out female doctors until there are
as many of them as there are male doc.
tors, what have they got TO pritice on?
A man, if there wus nothing the matter
with him, might cal in female doctor,
but II he was sick us a h lrse, (if n man
is sick he IS sick rs Il horse the last
thing he would have around would be
famale doctor. Aud why2 Because,
when n man has female rambling
around him he wants to feel WELL He
don't want to be..ssbillious or feverish.
with his mouth tasting Ike cheese, and
his eyes bloodshot, when the female
is looking him over and taking account
Of stock.
OF course these female doctors are all
young and good locking, and if one
of them came into a sick room where q
man was in bed, and he had chills, and
was 10 cold as II wedge, and she should
sit up close to tho side Of the bed and
take hold Of his haud, his pulse would
run up to a hundred and fifty, and she
would prescribe for fever when he
had chilblains, Oh, you can't fool us
on female doctors. A man who has
been sick, and Ind female doctors,
! knows Just how much he would feel to
have a female doctor come tripping III
and throw her fur~lined cloak over Il
chair, take off her hat and gloves and
throw them on a lounge, and come up to,
the he'd with pair Of marine blue eyes
with twinkle III the corner, and look
| linn in the wild, changeable eyes, and
usk him 70 run out his tongue.
Suppose he knew his tongue was coated
| SO it looked like q yellow Turkish
/ towel, do you suppose he would want
to run out over five or six inches Of the
lower part of it and let that female
| doctor put her finger on it to see how
fur it was? Not much. He would put
that tongue up into his check, and
wouldn't let her see it for twenty five
cents admission. We have all seen
doctors put their han1s under the bed
clothes and feel Of mans feet to see il
they were cold Ii female doctor
should do that it would give a man
cramps in the legs. A male doctor can
put his hand on mans stomach, and
liver and lungs, and ask him If he feels
any pam there, but ii a female doctor
should do the same thing it would make
a man sick, and he would want to get
up and kick himself tor employing a
/ female doctor Oh, there is no use
talking, it would kill a mar.
Now, suppose q man has heart di-
sease, and female doctor should want
to listen to the beating of his hearl.
She would lay her left ear on his left
| 7 asst, so her eyes and rosebud mouth
would be looking right in his face, and
her wavy hair would be scattered all
! &IOuutt bAtlt, bCttiuS lhuSlcb III VIC
buttons Of his night shirt. Don't you
suppose his heart would get in about
twenty extra beats to the minute?
You bet And she would smile--we
will bet ten dollars she would smile
and show her pearly teeth, and the ripe
lips would be working as though she
were counting the beats, and he would
think she was trying 70 whisper to him,
and. " Well, what would he be doing
ali this time? Ii he was not Mead yet,
which would be wonder, his left
hand would brush the hair away from
her temple and kind OF stay there to
keep the hair away, and his right hand
wuuld get sort of nervous and move
around to the back of her head, and
when she had counted the beats a few
minutes and was raising her head he
would draw the head up to him and kiss
her once for luck If he was as bilious
as Jersey sw amp angel--and ha' e her
charge it in the bill. And them a
reaction would set in, and he wOuld be
MS weak as u cat, and she would have to
fan him and rub his head till he got
over being nervous, and then make out
his prescription after he got asleep.
| No; all of mans symptoms change
when Il female doctor is practicing on
him, and she would kill him dead
! PechS Sun.