The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1881-08-25
HUM0R.
There was small hoy named Apollo,
Who used 10 get spunkyand "holloF'
When his pa with a strap
Would corral the Young chap,

WncU MS pa Win u strap
Would corral the Young chap
And sort of chorus would follow.
A live paper cannot be run on "dead
issues"
Somebody calls ice-cream feast of
free-zin."
Better to have soft corns than hard
creditors,
Is it moan-a-mania when crazy
man laments?
Nothing vulgar about the miller,
when he bolts his meal.
Eve was the first Of her race 70 feel
shocked at the bare idea.
When an arm OF the sea encircles u
neck of land, look out for fishing
smacks. - Y0nkerS Statesman. Give
us a schooner.
WHY does a cat swallow mouse
head FOREMOST is one of the mellihuent
questions Of the hour. In order TO
save his tail for toothpick.
Alderman ,OFlannelmouth - "Be
keerful. Mrs. O'Toole, al don't lit
any won see me, fur it's all the promi-
nent people what's getting shot al"
And now somebody has been coun-
terfeiting Egyptian money. Somebody
must be rich TO afford to use good ma
terial to make into Egyptian money
Boston Post
mamie" said he, and his voice was
singularly low, ''will you be my wife,
Will you cling to me as the tender vine
clings to the yes, I'll catch on,
said she.
The Atlanta Constellation thinks the
~. 900 at Albany, which is now without
an owner should be invested in liver
pads for the benefit of the discoveries
of the comet.
Little Lotte to her friend a have
so many cares Yesterday little baby
sister arrived and his on Journey
1t was but piece of luck that mamma
was at home to take care of it, :"
Doctors disagree, Some say whisky
bardens the brain, others say it softens
it. Meanwhile, people without brains
will keep right on drinking it, as it
does not make an atom of difference to
them, not an atom.
A boy Of II years, dining at his I'M
cle's, made such good dinner that his
aunt observed: Johnny, you appear
to eat wellP" Yes" replied the ur-
chin, 1--WE been practicing eating all
my life
And now the poor heated editor
snatches up his Shears with delight as
his eyes light on promising squib,
and throws them down with quota
ton from the Old Testament, as he
reads further and finds that it is some
thing about take Jenkins Jaundice
Jerker."
Peanut stand. Small boy-"ls them
all yer give fer q cent? Why, | yuster
git twice that many" Vender--"YeS,
but all the fruit crops is failed this
year, and peanuts and peaches is I'M
common slow in comm i'm Small
boy---..Then give me cents worth OF
ice cream---them isn't failed is itP
A Chicago paper wants TO have Gtil-
teau talked to death by George Francis
Train. 1t might do. But we once read
of a sailor who was put into cage
with an anaconda by cruel African
king that the anaconda might swallow
him. and we believe the sailor swal-
lowed the anaconda - Boston Herald
Can Guiteau swallow the boap
A poem that won prize Of $40, Of
fered by one of our exchanges, makes
.'reveries" rhyme with whatever is"
A poet couldn't be expected to do bet
ter for the paltry sum of $40. II the
prize had been $40. no doubt he would
have succeeded in rhyming "ensilage"
with "peritonlis. There is nothing
like money to develop poets latent
inspiration aud SO forth.
"Your mind is in twilight state"
observed q man. you cannot differ
entiate the grains Of mistrust from the
molecules Of a reasonable confidence.
You are travelling tho border land, the
frontier between the paradise OF faith
and the arctic regions OF incredulity.
You are Agnostc." "Dvil bit, y said
Pat, with mingled amazement and M
dignation, Im a Dimmycrat, every
inch o mel"
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