Connecticut western news., 1881-01-19
THE LIME.KILN CLUB.
What a Little Kick Did-Interesting
 Proceedings.

From the Detroit Free Press.]
 Some fifty or sixty of the members of the club had gathered in the hall ten minutes previous to the hour of open ing, when old Elder Toots, who had been hugging the hot stove with per sistency worthy of colder cause, sud- denly tainted away. In his fall he knocked down Cochin Turner, pushed Rev. Penstock against the hottest place on the stove, and his heels played havoc with the shins of Giveadam Jones and Deacon Tremble. There was wild ex- citement for 8 few minutes. Some one poured water on the Elder from head to foot, and some one else pulled off his boots, tore his coat down the back and sprinkled him with ashes. They were drawing him into the ante-room when he suddenly revived and planted his broad foot against Peabody Jackson's stomach, and little later got up and said he could lick any man in the roocn. When Brother Gardner came in and learned of the trouble, he made the Elder tender five apologies and accept four, and went on to observe:
 Behold how great fuss one little kick kin kindle! In de fucher, when de Elder intends to faint away, he mus give us at leas' two minits' warnin'. Arter he has tainted we mus go slow till we fin out de exact quantity of water necessary to bring him to. He kin be 'scused for de ebenin', if he so desires"
 The Elder seemed to desire, as he put on his hat and walked out without once looking back.
 MOBILITY OF LABOR"
 "I take great pleasure,' said the President, as the meeting was ready for business, "in denouncin' de fack dat Cornwallis Cohoon, de justly celebrated New England orator, arrove in dis city on de leven o'clock train las night. l war in bed when dc hack driv up to my house, but de orator was soon welcomed an made at home. He was intendin' to pass on to Chicago dis mawnin', but at my airnest solicivashun he decided to remain ober an address de club. De proper committee will now escort him in."
 When this piece of hard work had been performed the orator was intro duced from the platform. He was a small, thin man, lame in the left leg, prominent ears, and seeming inclina- tion to part with all the hair on top oi his head. He carelessly tossed @ troche in his mouth and began
 "De few remarks I shall indulge in on dis occashun will all go to prove de nobility of labor. Any pusson who has got de ideah in his head dat. it am be. neaf his stashun to labor am badly mis taken. Solomon was wise, an rich, an high toned. If any man in dat epoch had de right to wear his hat on his cal dat man was Solomon. He jist rolled in wealth, an no one could ax him g conundrum dat he couldn't guess. An yet dat same Solomon was hard worker. If he wanted well dug, or 8 hitchin' post sot, or crosswalk built, he took de job on his own shoulders and completed it. Cheers. Oar was Cato, one of de biggest philosophers in de hull world. Until his time no one knew why water didn't run up hill. He had hosses, an keeridges, an sulkies, an cutters, an sto' cloze, an seal rings. De newspapers fattered him, an de people praised him, an he had re- served front seat at all shows. An yet Cato labored. He put up cloze-lines, fixed de gait, repaired de back steps. built pig-pens, cleaned off de snow afore de purleece got aroun', an alluS had blister on his thumb. [Cheers. Our great Washington was worker When he hadn't any work on his owr farm he'd hire out to blow fur his nay burs. Adams, Jefferson, Monroe, Pierce an Lincoln war workers. Some of 'en would git up in de middle of de nigh to saw wood at forty cents per cord Cheers. Let no member of dis clul fule himself wid de idea dat labor an degradin'. Some of you may be loaded down wid gold an greenbacks, but i won't hurt your dignity to pick III buck-saw an wrastle wid wood-pile Labor tones de stomach, tunes d. muscles, elewates de mind, an give strength to de character. Wid desc few refeckshuns I will now cloze."
 The orators finis was greeted with . storm of applause, and it was eviden that he had made good impression. JUDICIARY COMMITTEE. Replevin Thomas, Chairman of th' above, said that his committee wa! now ready to report on the following queries
 1. Has there been case before an, Detroit Justice of the Peace for 8 yea past which has been decided in favor O defendant ?
 2. Has a respectable citizen beer drawn as juror before any Justice?
 8. How have the constables managed to keep out of jail ?'
 A. Isn't the office of Justice of tn, , Peace frst-rate position for blackmail ing and extortion ?'
 "Your committee would report, , added the Chairman, "dat it got tracl of two or free cases which war decided in favor of defendant, but dey couldn' secure chance to look at de records : We darfore conclude dat de Justice , either made mistake, or dat he foun l dat he had got de wrong pig by de ear ) Law an justice have about as much t