Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1881-02-11
F. II N

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They had just the loveliest sleighlng IN
Philadelphia all last week. and young
Keepitup was out enjoying it all one after
noon. When he drove into the stable, oh!
nut the man was mad He roared when
he looked at the horse, and danced around,
and, az Uncle Remus says, ''he Gust, he
did, ''Look at that hoss!" he walled.
ssLook at that boss! Amt a dry hair Oh
him, an he's nigh ready to drop. That's
pretty lookin' way to bring in a boss.
Nice man. you are, to let good boss top
Young Keepitup was fairly astonished.
s.Man alive!' he yelled, picturing his
anazement in his voice, ''and what did
you expect when I hired him? When
boss is costing me an even five dollars an
hour he's got to keep moving, you under
stand. When Pm paying out more than
eight cents every minute, [ can't afford to
let no horse lean up against an ice box
while he figures out the oat crop OF the
United States for 1880. l did my level best
to keep my whip arm warm, and then
couldn't get more than 81 So an heir out
of him. [ didn't hire the horse to rest
him. Now, if you had only charged fifteen
cents an hour would have had the horse
fed every thirty minutes while was out,
and would have rocked him to sleep in
my arms. wrapped him up in blankets and
lald him in the sleigh, and hauled him
back to the stable myself. That is the
difference, you see, Mr.. Silkcracker. Here's
your money, and l want the same horse.
or better one, next Saturday afternoon,
If the snow holds on. ''-Brlington Haark
eye.
One sleigh,
One horse,
One moon,
OF course,
one maid, who snuggles to you nothing
10th,
One arm
Well placed
Around
One waist,
One robe that's closely tucked round you
both,
A race,
A dash,
A clash,
A crash,
And you and she are sprawling on the
way,
A drink.
A bite,
A fond
Good night,
A gro4n when you look at your purse
next dayI Puck.
A withered and aged African, who an
nouneed himself as s'Judge Thomas. of
Canady,'' entered an Office near the ferry
dock and said he was collecting money to
help the southern negroes emigrate to Lii
IBERIA. Chow many want to go2'' asked
the man at the desk 'Well. sab, reck
on on about five thousand" ''When do
you intend to start them?" ''Airly in the
spring, sah.'' s'How much have you col
lected thus far?" ''In de naburhood Of
sixty cents, as nigh as l kin reckon. y
''And if should give you nickel, that
would be sixty-fve cents?" eyes. sab"
Would sixty-fve cents be of any great
help toward sending five thousand colored
people to Liberia?'' swell, sab. it wouldn't
20 great ways when you come right down
to akshul expenses. but reckon it would
start a powerful thinkin' if it was only
handled right. ''-Detroit Free Press.
The celebrated Doctor Dumouffn, be-
ing surrounded in bis last moments by
many Of his fellow physicians who deplo
red his loss, said to them, Gentlemen, l
leave behind me three great physicians. y
Every one thinking himself to be one of
the three, pressed him to name them; upon
which he replied, ''Cleanliness. exercise,
End moderation in eating"
You may say what you please about it,
but there's luck in horse-shoes. a woman
nailed one up against the wood shed
month ago, and last week her husband
.eloped with the hired girl. The man had
not earned cent for more than two years.
How many deaths?" asked the hospital
physician, while going his rounds. -
''Nine." ''Why, 1 ordered medicine for
ten.'' ''Yes. but one wouldn't take it,
A ST. Joe editor had an article headed
sNbat is 1t we drink?' and rival editor
went over to the nearest saloon and ascer-
tanned that it was unusually clear corn
juice.
A profane New Orleans man says ladies
who go to church to show off their seal I
skin sacquess are sacque-religious.
Spots on the soc are sometimes freckles |
but oftener the photographs Of a parents
loviag but weighty palm,
True presence of mind is always absent
minded when the collection plate passes
by
that's my impression, - as young
lady remarked when she got up from the