The Dallas weekly herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1885, 1881-12-22

| A GOOD menl IN a nat MAR iinsly p,Id
S e.S.' good lunch ''' . beat 'p''s'
Classical "JuIIus, seize hcrl" said sam
DO, ~ Jullu, was contemplating mt pulIe
In The moonlight.
When dishonest young man steal'
not expected TO mako II good.
! A metapllyscally inclined friend queries
as u not the cause Of the cause Of tic
thing cauacd tlic cause ofthc thing
Judging from the number Of falling stars
| 1t would seem that tho heavenly bodies 10
not always play succes.f ul engagement.
They tell us the time u coming When The
grnsshoppcr shull be u burden IL IL sin
cerely hoped II will be u dead weight 81
| "Glove ighting' Is now what they call
senseess or KILLED to amusc NJ audience.
A little girl remarked; like grandpa,
because he il s,icli Il peDtlrnlanly man ne
always tells me t,heip myselfto sugar"
Appearances are deceptive. One cheese
NAV seem TO be the exact counterpart OF
another and yet be mighty sight richer.
"A man who goes up in balloon and
comes down ali right Is called Professor
A man who goes up and comes down all
wrong is called fool.
A noted flirt OF Akron, Ohio, is said to
have all her love letters bound IN volume
for her parlor table. It's o hiin-book, III
both long and short lnect-hcr
ASK no woman for hrras.r' says re-
cent writer on social ethics. ofconrso no,;
Ask her next best lady ii'ctui. She VIII
never fail to give the inforrlaliVii.
/ A Troy poet makes ''ncmento.s' rhyme
with ssmy ten tocsp Such poctiy should
be V-toed. No matter how many ''lret' u
lline may have, "teli toes' is too much.
Rather slim: Save Ono Little Kiss ior
Papa is the title Of the latest song. II
| this remark isaimed at u Chicago girl, with
four steady beaus, .tns Ola ma'i's chuices
are pretty slim.
nWliat is right IN the concrete may be
| left in the abstract. remarked Senator Az
| ley, as he pulled his t'''h out o. his Shoe.
and lert that article sticking IN the new
made pavement.
"rhe Lord loveth Il cheerful giycr." but
there's no use chucking u copper cent INTO
1.-The contribution box load eiouglito make
folks ON the back seats think tae coinipun7
ion service las tun,blcf OIL tile alter.
/ A servant girl wrGtefrom New YORK to her
friends in Bangor, Maize, that she worked
in house called Hats, and that they 81
from one story to another IN venliIutofs'
and send their washing TO the louhdry.
Timmins has a bright idea: what q
contradiction watch is! said Timmins.
How so?' asked Mrs. Tiniunins. Why,
because it always keeps perfectly Dry,
although it constantly bus running
spring inside"
Advice thrown away: Husband and
wife, y say some sage person, should no
n. 4. l.aGt
| thew should struggle for the possession Off
| ,;ghted bomb.p They don't The wife gets
without struggle.
i.W1lat sunshine is to flowers smiles are
| to humanity. They are but trllies, TO be
sure, but scattered along life's pathway the
good they do is inconceivable. Let US all
Smile whenever we can, especially ut the
other fellows expense"
An elephant was knocked down the
other day at sheritI's sale for 81, 100 This
| is considered very low, and, as the price
| may advance in a few days. II behooyes
poor families to purchase their winters
stock Of elephants now.
keep your fowls warm" says, the ,agri,,
cultural paper; and the advice Is good ~, .
timely, II the fowls are young have them
well dressed and stuffed with something
mice, and then the WARMER you keep them
or an hour or so before dinner the better
u
they'll set.
EIegancies Of the English: Jones, who !.
ldriying an omnibus up street, oyertakes
| Brown, who is walking, and he sings ont:
Hold up what np2p Going up2"
! "Far up" Pretty well up" II II 20
lup." Jump up" "upY'' 81, I'm
up.n ''Get up'-and he drives on.
Progress of electric science The latest
good story in the Chicago, papers j. that q
the man returning home late az night, who
stopped under an electric lamp-poat to look
at his watch, and who, then buttoncd his
oyercoat around the post and stood there in
fear and trepidation under the impression
that the electric current bad got hold OF
him and was keeping him fast to the post
Ups and downs II cal well remember
the Time said Mrs. Marrowiat leaning
over the fence-rail, in confidential conyerssi
ton with her neighbor next door, "wtep
SIMPSONS wife was GLAD enough 70 get a
plain wooden shawl to wear. NOW she
alw .ys appears in q sealskin sacluc,
"Ah, you forget was the reply, thar Mt.
SIMPSONS brother has become a bank
cashier ~