The Canton advocate. [volume] (Canton, D.T. [S.D.]) 1877-1897, 1881-10-06
IN A NUT SHELL.

selves with carbines will pass forward
to the locomotive and crawl into the
| tender"
The utterly utter" kind Of talk has
infected the street gamins, one of whom,
after picking up a more than usually
fragrant cigar-stump, exclaimed to his
friend: "Jack, this is quite too posi-
lively bully" "a
! AT recent provincial schoo[board
examination one boy stated that "a'e'
was one of the plaques of Egypt" and
another that "the ark in which Moses
hid himself was pitched inside and out
to keep the crocodiles out"
Even unto copiety: "What splen-
did speaker Elder Longphiz is" re-
marked Mrs Pringle, "Don't you think
he is very pious man, Mr.. Fogg ?"
"Yes," replied Fogg; very pious-co-
| pious, in fact"
The Marquis of Galljet, Gambettas
friend, has as many lives as a cat. he
was blown to pieces in Pueblo, Mexico,
But somehow or other they have been
gotten together and he is the Marquis
Of Gallijet. .''. r"
Bolt the door! Put up the shutters!
Let the front be closed and barred;
Weer ostensbly at Long Branch,
But we'll camp in the back yard
San Francisco is in the throes OF an
ope1atic earthquake. The esthetic
youths who could not tell soprano
from contralto are gushing over the
ripping melodies of Signora Sullivan
or the silver-toned notes of Signora
Ratfertio.-Sacrame',to Bee.
The train.robbers have opened the
fall season in Arkansas by robbing q
train near Hope. As the robbers wore
masks, and could not be identified,
several prominent members of the
| legislature have come out in cards de-
claring their ability to prove satisfac-
tory alibis. ID. ... ...
Three aged sisters have died in Con-
necticut within less than a month.
They were Mrs. Russell Wooster, died
at Ansonia, Sept. II, aged IS Mrs.
Erastus Downs, died at Southbury, the
week previous, aged So. and Mrs. Olive
futile, died at North Haven, August
90, aged 50.
Governor Foster, of Ohio, says that
Gen. Garfield never had time enough
to do his work. He never had an idle
hour. The governor visited the presi-
dent On the evening before he was shot,
and found him more like the old Gar
field than he had been since his nom
ination-as cheerful and buoyant as a
school-boy.
There is not much romance in the
life of a coal miner, yet Pittsburg
paper writes long account of daugh-
ter of duke being the wife of a Con-
nelsville miner, and of another coal
miner who was once one of the wealth.
lest merchants of Pittsburg. I'D
Mary Anderson says it is because she
is afraid of sharks that she refrains
from entering the surf. In this con-
nection it is worthy Of note that ever
since Mary has lived in her lavender
colored cottage by the sea the sharks
have all come up to New York harbor.
A melancholy fact: A tombstone in
a graveyard not far from Washington
Hollow reads:
| Here lies little niger,
| -.E II lie q lived little longer
| lie had been little bigger.
One of the Indian chiefs now in
Washington winked at the drug clerk
when calling for soda water the other
day. Such little evidences as this
should nvince the most skeptical that
our missionary work among red men is
not without some marked results. Ma
tive instinct never taught the chieftan
this civilized trick.
The editor Of the Boston Globe COM
plains Of a gold famine. His case is
indeed peculiarly hard. els the only
editor, SO far as is known, who has ever
suffered from agold famine. Cyrus
w. Field should start subscription to
meet this remarkable and distressing
case. Virginia Chronicle. 2'iz
When German has got drench ed,
he says: II am wet to my very skin"
The Frenchman seems to hate drench-
Ing still more, for he says: Il am wet
to my very bones" The Spaniard goes
still further: IT am wet to nv very
marrow" But the Arab beats them
all: Il am wet to my very entrails."i
! 1t IS announced that Mr.. J. Stanley
Brown, President Garfeld's private sec
rotary, will be succeeded by Mr.. J. G..
Reed, who was Mr.. Arthur's private
secretary in the New York collectors
office, and also while vice president.
MIR. Brown will, however, continue to
be attached to the clerical force Of the
| White House. T 70 ttau 3,h
In publishing the acts of the Missis-
slppi legislature recently, the laws got
slightly mixed with parts of an anti
Baptist book that was being set up BY
the same printer. The following was
the result: "Be it enacted by the senate
and the house of representatives of the
state of Mississippi that bap means to
put under the water and tiso means to
take out. 5 t
A certain bisnop took occasion to re-
Duke one of his clergy for fox-hunting.
"My lord" answered the clergyman,
"a man must have some relaxation,
but | assure you never 60 to balls"
"Oh J" said the bishop, II see you al
Jude to my presence to the duchess
party; but / never entered the same
room as the dancers" 'My lord res
sponded the clergyman, amy horse.
and are getting long in Xers; we are
never in the same field a1sl60 Mounds. ,"
ffis $3.50, III 90 J4s I3i
SILVER CaEEx, NY, Feb. 8, $780, u,
eENTs-I have been very low, and have tried
everything to no advantage. 1heard your Hop
Bitters recommended by SO many, concluded to
give them trial. I did, and now am around,
and constantly improving, and am nearly as
strong as ever. w. II. WELLER,
! From the prices that some phvsi-
clans charge one can readily imagine
that high heels are fashionable.
L - 'att3s fs'f
F. 11p " p.rucr pnEo1n Y1so.