Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1881-09-09
IN A NUTSHELL.

Chicago has fixed day in 1882
when all telegraph wires must go I'M
derground.
Elizabeth Cady Stanton is quite i'll
with malignant fever at her home at
Tenahy, \. ].
Skilled engineers are said to be want
ed on the railroads but there's killed
brakemen enough on all of them.
you are not fond of money for il
self?' "oh, no." said Johnsonburg;
II am fond of it for myself"
A fsherman's occupation ought TO
be the most profitable, because the en-
tire gross receipts are net profits.
The chair in which John Hancock
sat when he signed the declaration of
independence is in st. Pauls church at
Norfolk, Va.
We hayejust read handkerchief flirt-
alton code, and advise all men desiring
to avoid breach of promise suits to wipe
the mouths with their coat-tails.
Oh, let the women vote if they want
to. Any woman who supports hus-
band and family of children is capable
of supporting the constitution.
Kentuckians seem to be losing their
skill as marksmen. In faction fight
in Menifee county, fifty shots were
fired without hitting anybody
Hon. William L. Scott, Of Erie, Pa,
IN 1916 was page in congress. Gen
eral Charles NJ. Reed, member Of con.
gress from Erie, took him home and
gave him employment at weighing
coal. Mr.. SCOTS fortune is now esti-
mated at 100000.
When you are told story, my son,
never remark: THAT isn't the way i
heard it. etc. Don't you know that
stories are told to give pleasure to the
teller and not to the hearer?-B Boston
Transcript.
A correspondent of Forest and Stream
gives the following anti-musquito re-
clpe: Three ounces sweet oil, one
ounce carbolic acid. Rub in every
half hour until the pores have thor
oughly absorbed it.
The reports of the failure of the
/ peach crop this year seem to be vel
| grounded for once. The latest esti
mates show that Delaware, which usu-
ally produces some 100000 baskets
will yield this year not more than 120,.
/ 600
People have recovered from wounds
as severe rs the presidents. But We
can augur nothing from that unless we
know how many doctors they endured
| The wound and six doctors is a dread.
ful tax for the strongest vitality.
taio Express.
6 If you find locomotive rushing al
YOU" says a Virginia philosopher
spring in the air and come down OF
the cow-catcher. This plan is an ex.
cellent one, on Virginia railroads. But
If the man on the track is in u hurry
he will not waste time riding on cow
catcher.
A family at Milwaukee were delight
ed on hearing that an uncle, whom
they had last known ten years before
as a penniless dependent, had left s
fortune of half Il million at his death
III Nevada; but when they receivrd j
copy of his will they found nothing in
it for them, except reminder thai
they had turned him away hungry
from their door.
They were touching up their toilet
preparatory to the afternoon parade
"Cicely, my dear, do YOU think / neet
any more color in my face ~ "Tha
depends; if you only want delicate
blush, you have it just right But i
you want your complexion to mattel
your hair, put on little more vermil
lion" Do you suppose they wake,
together that afternoon? Not any.
Our set-"Angeline, MY dear, yol
should not sit on the veranda in tn,
edge of the evening; you will contrac
malaria" said n careful mother. 8.
know 1t, ma" was the cheerful reply
that's what Pm trying to do. All on
set have the malaria. 1t is quite tn,
idea, | assure you. What could mann
ma say?
A little boy with base ball bat
tSore is the joint Of the left hand thumb
A stone he SHES at a brindle cat
lBut the voice Of the sobbing sea is dumb.
For thee my love, will my strong right arm
fHoarse is the man with liver pad
Plough up the stumps on q western farm
and solid / II get with thy grizzled dad.
Oh the red, red rose is red, you bet
autumn is coming, my sweet my sweet
Maud 5 will trot in two-seven yet
tOrmy name isn't Red headed Granger Pete
Chicago Tribune
A tub race at Atlantic City the othe
day drew a crowd of five thousan,
persons. The people didn't care s.
much about the race, but the sight @
4 washtub was quite revelation t,
most of them. Several of the youn
ladies were quite enthusiastic i'll thei
expressions of delight, one of them re
marking that the washtub's rugged
unassuming beauty was quite too over
powering for idle words.
A Pleasant Call-"Come here Hid
ebrand, my love- said u fond NeH
Haven mother as her spindle-legge'
youngster appeared just inside tn
gate, "Hildebrand | should say Sc
How came you to tie such homel,
boy to such high-priced name ?" sal,
a blunt-spoken caller. He may b
homely, but he's mine, thank you.
didn't have to marry widower wit
four great overgrown boys, as you did
This treading on corns, metaphorically
doesn't pay.
IN Vermont there have been tw
kinds of law suits, and only two, for tn
last fifty years-suits between towns
relating to the care of paupers, an,
suits against towns for damages result
ing from defective highways. Suits Q
this last class have now been abolishe'
by act of legislature, and people VIII
drive skittish horses in that state here
after will do so at their peril. 4 bro
ken plank in bridge will not, in tn
eve of the law, be responsible for
broken leg, and lofty water-bar nea
the bottom of hill cannot be blame'
if. as sometimes happens, it keels
buggy on the down grade over SO tina
the hind wheels bestride the horse
neck. The same legislature practicall
disposed of the long pending railroad
litigation by crowding out a judge VIII
knew too much law, and now prett
much al disputes IN the Green Mour
tain state will be settled on Etha
Aliens plan, ''by the Great Jehovah an
Continental Congress"
Romantic.