Smyrna times., 1881-10-26
WHOLE NO. 1873.
Current Comment.
PHILADELPHIA EVENING NEWS

Beauty is said to be only skin deem I'm,
very often 1t is only powder decp.
Kerosene lamps are different from ,n.r.
'Ile! ar" never dangerous when full
vi Two women choose the les, Shc
won need 50 much stuff for silk dros.
honesty is the best policy, unless Of
course YOU can afford to hire = GOOD
lawyer ro0"
There is reason to suppose that brc,
wheat VIII be rcchristencd deerwhcat this
winter. '''''
People who have noses will he Glad 70
learn that the boiled cabbage crop will be
light this year.
Advice gratis-Train up child in the
way you should have gone voursaIr
Hainfeld Bulletin.
William Black, the novelist, is of such q
melancoly nature that he is frequently
mistaken for an English humorist.
1hankSgivingturkcys have been allowed
10 shlit tor themselves all summer. but are
now being treated as tenderlv as rich old
unclcs.
IN defending Guiteau Mr.. Scoville has
Very disagreeable duty to perform. but he
Will have his reward After the trial he
can help bury him.
Boston still talks of having worlds
lalr' nothing whatever being in the way
OF the project except little matter Of five
millions as a starter.
1000 baby carriages were manufactured
III one Massachusetts town last year The
number Of shins they have barked has moi
yet been aScertained.
Never try to conceal anything from
your wife, for in the first place it is not
right and in the second place only q fool
attempts impossibilities.
A girl in Knoxville, Tennessee liza.
been asleep for the past eight DAYS. She
Is cook, and the family have probably
forgotten to wake her up.
\ Philadelphia butcher who five wears
ago retired on fortune, has gone back to
his trade. He says killing Texas steers is
not half such hard work as killing time.
Some OF the people who went to York
town say they can thoroughly sympathize
with the sufferings of the Revolutionary
heroes who had the misfortune to capture
the place.
The inscription shut the door having
been so directly misinterpreted during the
past century the experiment of changing
it to . Leave the door open" will be gem
orally tried this winter.
1t was thought when the sewing-machine
was Invented that it would ruin the dress
makers, but events prove that it has not
who now have to pay for material enough
to keep it going.
The theater is indispensable to society,
the new dresses worn by actresses being
neverending topic of conversation. Ere
quent experiment has proved that it is
impossible to spend a whole evening talk
ing about the weather.
We thought "The Peanut and Other
Poems was a queer title for book, and
were not surprised therefore to see in the
next issue of the paper correction. 1t
should have been "The Pageant and
Other Poems. ."-NorriStOWn Herald
Susan B. Anthony says that the tend
ency to sReer at the woman question has
almost disappeared from American news
papers. 1t has probably not occurred to
Susan that most editors of the present
day are married, and their papers are
critically scanned at home.
The long evenings have begun and the
annual list of horrible deaths from coal
oil explosions have hegun to come in from
all sections of the country where gas is
high in price or not manufactured at all.
All laws on the subject are evidently use
less. Stringing up a few dealers in ex-
plOsive fluids has not been tried yet
It's funny To watch folks sometimes.
The other evening two eminent actors,
both playing in this city, were introduced.
Each know the other by reputation well.
And yet, somehow, the first indulging in
one of the eccentricities of genius asked
the other where he was playing, just if he
didn't know. And the other returned the
compliment by inquiring if the first went
to the theater often, and was surprised to
be told that the gentleman was an actor.
Revenge is sweet and sometimes very
udicrOus.-BOstoR POsS.
Horatio Seymour advised his nephew,
State Engineer Seymour, not to accept
nomination for State Engineer for third
time, on the ground that third terms
were politically criminal.