The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1881-02-16
THE AIR sort OF rIxEp.v


THE AM s4sORT OF FIxEDv
How n Casual visitor at Rush Medical COL
Iege Made himself Agreeable on Hi- Way
Home.
Peaks Sim tells the following thrilling
story of travel There Is something about
the average Chicago young man that gives
him away and gives away anybody that
goes in with him. lie Is full Of practical
Jokes, and Is a bad egg on general prin-
ciples. Last week Mr. Eppenetus Hoyt,
of Fond du Lac, went TO Chicago on a.
visit He is pious gentleman, whose can
dor would carry conviction To the mind OF
the seeker after Righteousness; and his pres
ence in the prayer meeting, at the sociable,
or at the horse race l. an evidence that
everything will be conducted on the square.
Mr.. Hoyt knew young man named john
ME Darling who was attending Rush Med
ical College, ahdthrough him was permitted
TO visit the dissecting room, and gaze upon
the missionary work being done there. Mr..
IIoyt was Introduced 10 number ol the
wicked young men WHO were carving the
late lamented. aud after he got accustomed
10 the climate, he rather enjoyed the per
fOrmance Whether young Mr.. Darling
told the boys that MIR. Hoyt was fresh or
not. will perhaps never b. known: but. as
Mr. Hoyt passed around among the slabs
where they were az " Ork, each made eOntri-
button from the corpse he was at work OF 10
Mr. Hoyts coat pockets. nbeknOwn To him.
While one was ca ling his atteptiontoa hmb
that he was dis.ecting, another would cut
Oft an ear, or finger, or q the, or a nose, or
dig out an eye, and drop the same into Mr..
HOyts oycrcoat pockets. Finally he bid
the boys goodbye thanked them for their
cOurtesieS in showing him around, told
them il they ever came to Fond du Lac his
pew in the Church was az their disposal
and he skipped for the train and got on
board. The seats were all occupied and
middle-aged lady, with slim face and spec
tacleS, and evidently an old maid, allowed
him 20 sit beside her. The car wnS warm, and
IL was not long before tlie remains began
60 be heard from. He was talking to the
lady about the sweet by and by, aud the
hope Of glorious immortality beyond the
grave, and of the inducements held out by
the good book ~ those who try TO lead diff
ferent life here on earth, when he smclled
something The lady had been smelling IL
tor some miles back, and she had got hcT
cye on Mr.. HOyt, and put her handkerchief
u her nose. Ne took long breath aud
said 20 tire lady: The air seems sort OF
fixed here I'm the car, does IL notg' anil he
looked up mt the transon. "Ies," said
the lady rs ske turned pale, and asked him
tO let her out Of the seat, 1T Is very much
fixed, and j believe You are the nlan that
fixed it!' r1d she took her sachel and went
To the reR- OF the car, where she glared at
him as Though he was fat-rendering estab-
lishment Mr.. Hoyt devoted a few moments
To silent prayer, and then his attention was
called a. a newly-married couple ia the seat
ahead Ot him. They had been having their
heads close together when suddenly
the trieic said "IIennery, have you been
drinl7iug2' He vowed by all that was
great'aud glorious that he had not when
~hcttOld him that there was something about
his breath that reminded her OF strong
drink, or packing house. He allowed that
IL was not him. but adnitted that hc had
noticed there was soRae thing wrong though
lac Iidn' know but IL was some OF her teeth
needed filling. They we're both mad at the
insinuationS Of the other, aud the bride
leaned on the window and cried, while
the groom looked the other way, and
aC-ed cross. Mr.. HOyt was very much
annoyed at the smell, and made un-
hes mind that IL was his duty To speak TO the
groom about il. 20 he introduced himself
ard told the groom TO do something to cure
those feet of his. The groom looked at him
Indignantly, but Mr.. HOyt continued: You
Cay think il will wear OIL, but il won't. /
knew man in Fond du Lac whose feet per
Spired Is badly as yours, and il was almost
impossible 10 stay in the room with him. He
had TO sleep with his feet out of the window,
and the neighbOrs complained tothe health
officers. One day he" At this point
THE BRIDEGROOM CALLED ms WIFE.
and they Indignantly left the car Mr.. Hoyt
Eas annoyed. The smell remained, and
people all around him got up and went TO
the forward end OF the car, or 10 the rear,
end there were a dozen empty seats when
the conductor came in. and lots of people
standing up. The conductor got one sniff
and said: Whoever has got that piece of
. ff,,i his af will ha
into the emigrant car" They all looked at
Hoyt, and the conductor went up To him
and asked him If he didn't know any better
ahan % carry around such cheese as that
HOyt saidh ne hadn't got no cheese. The con-
duetor insisted that he had, and told him TO
turn his pockets wrong side out. Hoyt
.'abbed his hands into his pockets and felt
something cold and clammy. He drew his
hands out empty. turned pale, and said he
didn't have any cheese. The conductor in
cisted upon his feeling again, andhe brought
TO the surface a couple of human ears, q
finger and thumb. What in the name Of
the apostles have you got there" says the
conductor. DO you belong 10 any estab
iishment that. sends canned missionary 70
the heather cannibals?' HOyt told the
conductor TO come into the baggage-car and
lie would explain all, and as he passed
by the passengers with both hands full of
the remains, the passengers were ready to
lynch HOyt. lie TOLD the conductor Wnere
.he had been and the boys had played 10 on
him, and the fingers and things were thrown
beside the track, where some one will find
them and think a murder has been commit
sed. Afterward Hoyt went into the car and
tried TO apologize to the old maid, but she
said if he didn't go away from her she would
scream. Hoyt would always rather go away
than have a woman scream. He is trying 10
tbink OF some way to get even with the boys
a. Rush Madica1 GollpOp
rho heath of CaIhoun