The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1881-02-12
CONCERNING sELF-RELIANCE IN
GIRLS.
MARY WAGER-FISHER.

think 1 may say, that, as girl, be-
ing mother orphaned ata tender age and
from the force of other circumstances, l
was more self-reliant, or grew to bemore
SO, than are the majority of girls. But
when my father died-I was then past
twenty-I felt as if the earth were swept
out from under my feet. l had been
literally educated, had been made famil-
lar with many things, but l knew almost
nothing of business. l believe Ibid not
know how to make use of check or
draft without being told. l knew moth
ing of the management of property, or
of property laws. l had an idea that
the business of lawyer was to ''feece"
his client, and so trusted my pecuniary
welfare as great many women do with
relatives. In short, was, after fash
ion, my own lawyer. There's an old
adsge which l illustrated finely, "When
a man is his own lawyer, he has fool
for a client" AS l have married a
lawyer, it is reasonable to infer that my
opinion of the guild has changed since
l was a girl.) | suppose l learned
something from my ignorance and folly,
for it is strange experience from which
one does not reap some benefit. But
why should women, from generation to
generation go on garnering the bitter
fruits of similar folly and ignorance P
Why should girl, any more than a boy,
when orphaned or wife, any more
than a husband when widowed, be help
less and unarmed against the misfortuneS,
and suffer as they SO frequently do from
the bountiful "advice" and "kindness"
and management" of male relatives ?
Simply because they are trained in ignor-
ance of certain things that they should
we'll know, and pre-eminently because
they have not been taught habits of self
reliance. have known few men, and
1 have reason to believe that there are
many such, who buy every article need
ed for the family, even to corsets, cali
Goes, stockings and winter cloakings,
and the "women folks" have become so
accustomed to being "provided for"
even to their pocket handkerchiefs, that
they actually dread going to town to
shop, or to "trade.
There is such thing as to fall so far
from the grace of moving about in the
world, as to live very much like a vege-
table-to grow up, or to be planted IN
a certain spot, and to remain there until
nipped by the frost of Death. There
are zc,0men who become just such vegeta-
bles from a habit of staying at home
1t may be comfortable, and it may be
easy, for the father and husband to at
tend to the entire business of the family,
but it is a kindness of such texture that
sooner or later parts into shredS of a
very poor sort.
Some one writing from Mentor not
long ago, mentioned having seen Mrs.
Garfield standing in the kitchen door,
giving directions to the Fhands" in re-
gard to the marketing of half dozen
or more barrels of cider. Whether the
stated occurrence was true, or not, one
feels certain that the wife of the Presi-
dent-elect is fully capable of transacting
business 'ntelligently and in business
like way, and no one doubts but that
she possesses womanly qualities of high
degree.
mention this, as some young women
pride themselves upon their ignorance
and their helplessness. They imagine
that to be purely womanly, they must
be helpless, and delicate, too. Such
persons are not womanly in the tue
sense they are simply efeminate. A
girl should be taught self-reliance from
her infancy, and from an early age
should regulate her own expenses SO far
as it is practicable. If frock of calico
or gingham is to be bought for her, take
her to "the store" with you and let her
select it and pay for it herself. Habit
uate her to expending money carefully
and discreetly. BY choosing for her
self she learns to decide for herself 1t
is better that she decide for herself and
make poor decision great many times
in unimportant things than grow up to
be an undecisive woman. The man
who wrote "Frailty, thy name is Wo-
man," would have hit the truth more
nearly had he put it "Indecision, thy
name is Woman" Business men dread
to do business with or for women, be-
cause the latter so rarely know what