Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1881-11-27
WIT AND HUMOR.

Fashion says: Gathered waists are
still very much in favor with young
ladies' They are with the young
gentlemen also.
"All seems to hinge on this" re-
marked the lover when he proposed 70
MS sweetheart while swinging on the
gate in front of her house.
Jones thinks man is fortunate who
has his will contested after death only.
He says his will has been contested ever
since he married Mrs. Jones.
At the ball: Grace (whispering)-
"What lovely boots your partners got.
Mary!" Mary (ditto)-"Yes unfortun-
ately he shines at the wrong end. )"
She-'.Mr. Slow, are those two men
that have just passed brothers?" He
'I-aw-know that one Of them IS; but
Fm-aw-not quite sure OF the other.
The census shows something like
twenty per centum more females than
males in the country's population.
Well, we can't have too much OF good
thing
A Murray hill, New York, girl has had
one of her shapely feet modelled in mar
BILE, and has presented it as birthday
present to her affianced husband for q
paper weight.
'.How shall I have my bonnet trim
med" asked Maria, $50 that it shall
agree with my complexionP'' '.1f you
want it to match your face, have it
plain replied hateful Hattie.
Boy Ito lady visitor): Teacher,
there's a gal over there a winkin' at
me-" Teacher: s'Wen then don't look
at her." Boy: ..But if don't look at
her she'll wink at somebody else"
Some photographer in New York is
said to have two hundred ard fifty-three
distinct negatives of Miss Maud
Branscombe. Evidently fellow who
sswil not take no for an answer"
Drawing-room episode: Affable duch-
ess Ito amateur tenor, who has just been
warbling NJ. Gounod's last)-''Charm-
ing! charming! You must really get
somebody to Introduce you to mer'
A slight misunderstanding: ''Do you
ever vink, Miss Evangeline?'' do
ever rhat, Mr.. Smythe?'' s'What do
you mean sir?'. swell skate if you
pwefer the expressionr'
'.Eugenie; Eugene, will you still in
sist on wearing the hair of another wo-
man upon your head?" '.Alphonso,
Alphonso, do you still insist upon wear
ing the skin of another calf upon your
feet?'
kiss said young Charles, sis a
noun, we allow; but tell me, my dear, is
it proper or common?'' Lovely Mary
blushed deep and exclaimed: '.Why I
VOW, think that kiss is both proper
and common"
A woman accidentally went to church
with two bonnets on her head-one
stuck inside the other-and the other
women in the congregation almost died
of envy They thought it was new
kind of bonnet, and too sweet for any
thing.
Circumstantial evidence: "Who's
that frizzly black-haired woman talking
to my husband on the ottoman?" ''She's
a Mrs. Cadogan Smythe.'' Indeed!
She's good at flattering people, Ishould
say, and knows how to lay it on pretty
Thick .'Ah! you infer that, no doubt,
from her attitude, and expression"
''Oh, dear, no; from my husbands"
Sha was big, buxom lass, and when
her small beau called one evening she
said: 'sGood evening Lily" sTm no
lily" he replied, surprised at the idea;
''you are the lily; men are never lilies
eyes sometimes they are, and you es-
pecially are a lily" '.How's that?"
:.Lilliputian" He then looked as if he
wished he was an elephant.
A genial mistake: New Beauty Gum
versed as yet in the mysteries of high
life)-s'W ho's that wonderful old gen
de Rigby, Hampshire baronet, one of
the Oldest in England; James the First's
creation, you know" New Beauty (de-
termined to be surprised at nothing
Indeed! How well preserved he is! 1
shouldn't have thought him more than
seventy or eighty"