The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1881-08-05
HUMORs OF THE DAT.

x hEELYS motor IS now known to MS as
81 the tramp" because it won't work.
IT IS true that the crow is thief, and
steals the farmers corn; but it is not
without caws. - Boston Transcript
What causes him to csrrion so2s4
"A KIND writer says t'Yeu can trust
man who loves a horse. or q dog. A
livery stable man says he has trled 1t,
and finds there is no money In 1t.
THERE are two possible things greatly
dreaded by New Workers just now. One
is bear famine, and--we have forgotten
the other-NorriStoaOn Herald, u
~ When man attains the age of ninety
he may be termed &c mgly old.-bS-
change. When a man attains the age OF
forty he may be said to XII ri
"WHAT 1 SEDIMENT" as the river
murmured during high water.-Ke0kltk
Gate City. Did that settle it ?-Earl
Marble. There are grounds for believ-
ing that it did. eIaI ta .su.H.f
A YOUNG man in Illinois was so badly
stung by a colony of bees that he
couldn't get married at the time agreed
upon. He had taste of his honeymoon
In advance. A'l'-0
? A Troy lawyer asked woman on the
witness stand her age, and she promptly
replied sold enough to have sold
milk for you to drink when q baby, and
/ haven't got my pay yet.
A COPENHAGEN dispatch says: Emf
grafton from Sweden this year is ex-
pected to amount TO 10000 persons.
This is good. We shall get some new
notions in the Swede by and by.
THEY were at a dinner party, and he
remarked that he supposed she was fond
of ethnology. She said she was, but she
was not very well, and the doctor had
told her not to eat anything for desert
but oranges. .......,..-..... r.
Rev. DIR. DUAIBELL Ia newly fiedged
divine)-" Hello, what's this, Essie
picture of meP Do you think it's q
good likeness? ?" Essie latter q PAUSE
"No, guess I'll put tail on it and call
a dog. "'-HaaVGrd LGnepoon.
PRoBABLY the boy never lived who,
having drum, did not burst it to see
what made the music. But Vermont
has the champion boy. He broke his
drum because he wanted to see the drum
core that his father spoke of.
A FRANK WELCOME. Said Mrs. Smith,
who had come to spend the day, to lit
tie Edith---''Are you glad to see me
me again, Edith ?" eyes, MN, and
mammals glad toll" Mrs Smith, Is
sheP" Edith" Yes, MN; she said
she hoped you'd come to-day and have
it over with. +" Mamma bushes scarlet,
but Mrs. Smith simply smiles.
A NORWICH couple who had pet cat
which had grown helpless from age and
extremely fifty, put it out of its misery
by the agency of chloroform. They
buried it in the garden and planted a
rosebush over its remains. The next
morning it appeared at the door to be
let in and had the, rosebush under its
arm. -Databtby Nea0S. Fi
GOAT stood on the dusty road, whence all but he
had fed
He saw old Embree coming down the road, and
All postured for butt, he posed, and patiently did
The coming Of the chap he thought he would ami
Old Embree had stick in hand of tonnage rather
/ Il much, l+lLEIlfI[I4
| HE'D chrlstene0 IL MS " slaugutefei anu hahoiSu
a4r it as sucn,
And when the butter came, he let him have IL Ger
/ 'i' the eye,
And gracious how that Embree-oh, did make the
| butterfly.
| 1eoa ad-efsIE e.st 9i1- Ronker's Gazette.
Two men afflicted with suffering
happened, to meet upon highway,
when, on saluting, each discovered that
the other suffered pretty badly, and the
following conversation occurred Mr..
Brown" Howl-l-long h-h-have y y-you
s-s,stuttered?Ya Mr. Smith, Brb-bout
f-f-fiye ye7years, Mr.. Brown VIII
why d-d-don't y-y-you ego s-s-see
| D.doc-d-doctor BZ~ Mr.. Smith-"W-
why, lis he a-a-any g-good?p Mr.. Brown
-"A-a-any g. gtgo-good2 W-w-well, II
| gig gu-g- guess h-he Ills h-he c-c-cured
| NINE l''-Natio1tdJ RepuG ttcd1t.