Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1881-03-24
A WELL-MATCHED COUPLE.

| 4 ELM AICHED COUPLE.
He was 80 years old and she was
only 60, SO charitable people said it
would be a well-proporticned match.
The proportion was made up on his
side by 'cuteness somewhat beyond
his years, on hers by an immense deal
of money. Granted that Lady Cur
lewis fortune took twenty years off her
age, and that Mr.. Cashey-Barter's cute
ness added ten to his, then they might
be said to be forty years old each, and
suitably matched IN consequence.
Mr.. CasheyBarter was a very nice
young maxwell dressed, particular
about his boots, and reserved in his
discourse. He had sweeI-talking
voice and seldom said foolish things,
because, in venturing on subjects he
did not understand, he went cautiously,
like cat upon ice He did not waste
his time in idle fiirtations with young
ladies, but was earnest in his attentions
to the elderly ones. He was quick to
observe whether they sat in draughts,
and closed doors and windows for them,
discreetly, unbidden. He could fondle
lap-dOgs and talk to them as pretty as
nurses to the babies" dOggie- woggie,"
puggie-wuggie," and all that. He
was an intrepid tea drinker and took
both sugar and cream with his,
please" Thus had he won Lady Cur
LEWIS heart
Androgyna, Lady Curlew, could not
have contested for the apple of beauty
with Mrs. Langtry; but she had a beau
tlful soul, and that is surely the essen
tial in marriage. She had a large heart,
too, great intellectual gifts, and kind
motherly manners, which had really
quite overcome MI. Cashy-Barter. Her
rent-roll had completed the fascination
and our friend after urging his offer of
marriage eleven times in as many con-
secutlve Sundays after morning service
when there was no visitors present, had
at last, somewhat unexpectedly, seen
it accepted.
Cashey was not Mr.. Barriers bap-
tismal name, but sobriquet which has
been conferred on him at his club ow-
ing to his common deficiency of small
coin. He could never afford to con-
tribute guinea, like other men, for
any purpose charitable or festive. He
lived up to every sixpence Of his
meager income, so that at the years
end when he had balance all his ac-
counts, he could not afford SO much as
a Chrlstmass-bOX to the pOstman. Such
dire poverty either brings mans char
acter into splendid training, so that he
gets Injured to self denial and loves it as
a soldier does discipline or else it
twinges his soul with petty agonies.
CasheyBarter had secret proclivities
toward a life of Injury. He would
have liked as much as any man to have
his tour-in-hand, share in a London
theater, and his huntingdon at Melton
Paris had great attractions for him; so
had Monaco; SO had the opera on
nights when Patti sang. There were
times when he had played at vingt-et-
un with ladies for halfpence, secretly
wishing that they had been five-pound
notes, and once under the misletoe
dancing with lovely girl who was not
too coy, he had kis-. But enough of
this. Cashy was now engaged to be
married, and he looked forward to his
marriage as destined to give him
many of those pleasures in life
from which his miserable in
pecuniousness had debarred him.
Unfortunately, Androgvna and Mr.
Barter committed from the outset of
their betrothal grave mistake. If
they had not quickly and privately
married, and had then announced their
nuptials to the world, society would
have experienced momentary shock
and surprise; but little would have
been said, for the affairs of married
people concern nobody. Lady Curlew,
however, made her engagement known
long before the time she had fixed up
on fnr her wedding; whereupon cackle
was raised in every London drawing
room. ''Was it possible? at her
age and with such young man,
too? Why she must be out of her
mlndl" That is what the world said:
and Androgyna's relatives taking an
atfectiOnate land, of course, disinterest-
ed view of her position, conferred as to
whether they could not get her put in
to an asylum. Finding this impossible,
one of their number, Gen. Gobbleby,
a terrible old Tarter, resolved to call
upon Mr.. Barter and put that young
man Though his facings," as he called
them.
Look here. SIR" cried this veteran,
stalking into Cashey.s chambers at 8
o'clock one morning, just as the youth
was sitting down to his breakfast with
dazzling linen and satin-quilted dress
g-jacket, for he had become a great
er beau than ever now that his trades
men gave him unlimited credit. Look
here, sir, I'm plain man; how much
will you take to pack up your traps
and leave the country"
''What the devil do you mean?"
asked Cashey, speaking with warmth
which his Androgyna might have con-
doned in this case, but would have
strongly reprobated on ordinary occa-
siOns.
"Why, [ mean that you have turned
the head of this poor old lady, my
relative, and you know very well that
you are not acting out of natural affec-
ton"
do you insinuate that Lady Curlew
is not lovable? l thought that you pre-
tended to be very foud of her yourself"
Fond of her as revered kinswoman.
certainly, sir; but not in the way of
marriage"
"Well, you're married already, you
see; besides, opinions about marriage