davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1881-01-29
AtaIle WATER Office.

He stalked In early yesterday morning. One
could sec that ne had something on his mind
and that he intended to have justice II 1t broke
his neck. Walking up to one Of the windows In
The long railing he boldly demanded:
g. want to know or some OF you folks In here
IL The river dried up last night:"
1t was long time before any one replied
Fhtn one OF The clerks said that while 1t was
pia, e, he had received 40 direct information to
that effect.
On, you haven't. Then, perhaps. your old
pumping WoI Ks have been clown up?"
MAY be SO, bu, 1t seems as ii they would have
tele phf ned down.
'Well, then, If the river didn't dry up ami the
pumping works are all right, how happened It
That couldn't get any water at O'Clock last
evening""
cod or hot"
cold, OF course: Who said anything ADO 1t
hot water?"
Then you couldn't get anye"
Didn't say l couldn't? 1 pay my water
TAX, AID as q Tatepayer, taxpayer and ciJl-
zen demand my rights. Now, sir, why couldh c
get any water at my house last EVENING""
Wouldn't run. why, blast your ears.
Haven't l been telling you that It wouldn't
house,"
In what part OF your housog" aosently
queried the clerk.
pose had wanted pail OF water 70 drown an
1nclplent confiagratiOn?"
"You couldl'l have got f."
"NO, Couldn't; and want TO tell you right
acre aud right now that figure my damages at
Sl00.'
zone hundred" replied the clerk as he
marked the figures In pencil on the desk.
Yes, Sir; and Won't pay my next qualter's
tax"
Won't pay next quarters tax" wrote the
clerk
And you take notice that II this thing mp
pens again this winter I'll make til {, w iLer
Board SWEAT
"Perspire" suggested the clerk.
"Weu, psrSpire, then, and don't you forget
It"
mo, SIR
~ it wasa't winter Id sink a we'll"
Eyes. SIR
"And be Independent OF this monopoly"
YES. SIR
''And l want 1t understandable was going
Oh. when the door opened and in walked
citizen who began:
What In Dlazes ails your Old pumping
WOrks?"
And the clerk with the far away look In his
eyes had to leave his ledger and CONS forward
and explain that the pumping works were all
light, the river vas all right and the Board
was all right, and that II the water wouldn't
run twas perhaps because IL had got tired
Ott? OFT Free Press.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1881-01-29

A Few WEEKS AGO train over one of the
railroads running west ran over a COW Just be-
yOn6 the Grand Trunk Junction. Tue matter
was reported at headQu arter5. but the owner OF
the mangled bovine was not heard of until Ties.
day last. when he entered the prest1en 8 Of
ffce aud remarked: 81 guess we'd better settle
UP now for that cow" "Ah, you owned the COW
killed by one OF our trains In November. dill
you?" II expect did," And what did YOU
value her at7" The man scratched his neal,
hitehed on his chair, and finally replied:
We'll dun no. My brother 10 law said mad
the company tighter'n biazss and he tod me TO
say she was new mich co " aud lay dlmages
at SO" Yes" but my wife said Ia 0.trer
say that the cow was Lot worth over $50" .Yes.
Wen, how was 1t 2" That's where the stick
comes In. you see. want all she was worth,
and yet don't want to swindle anybody. Fact
Is, she was an old COW, dry as bone, aud worth
about SIS for boarding house beef. Yet, she was
took away kinder sudden, and it mais bad
nuss around the place, and reckoned YOU
might add little extra" LET US say sass
"Thaps plenty. l 'spose might have had fty
Just as well as not, but didn't want to lie about
It," mo; never tell lie" ION I wouldn't
have lied, cause knew you sent man out
there to git all the facts In the easel" replied
the man, as he received an order on the treas
urer for his check. Detroit Free Press.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1881-01-29
The ''Step Up'' Business I'm Street
Cars.

there, gentlemen, Step up! There's plenty Of
room In the middle Of the carr Is the regular
cry OF conductors for crowded II road trains
And people move responsive to the conductors
commands like so many weak sheep. When the
train stops the passenger, showed up to the
middle or the car, squeezes his way out with
great dln1culty. and perhaps does not squeeze
Out IN clme 10 get Oh. now, no passenger VINO
first gains standing room near the car door need
step up. The place belongs to him as much as
would the seat he chooses. He chooses that
locality for ais own convenience aud ha3
tight to keep it. The step up business IS SIM
ply means of tyranny In the companys inter
est. The man near the car door has right to
his place near the door and should keep it. Let
the latest corners step up"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1881-01-29
Booths Greatest Compliment.

Edwin Booth says that the most genuine com.
pliment he ever received was On the occasion OF
his playing Iago for the first time at Grass Val.
ley, then new mining camp. The audience,
who had not seen play for years, were SO mach
incensed at his apparent viliainy that they
pulled out their shooters" in the middle OF the
thlrd act and began blazing away at The stage.
Otheil0 had the tip or his nose shot on at the
nrst yolley, and MIR. Booth only escaped by roll
ing over an0oyer up the stage and disappearing
through q trap door. speech from the mana
ger somewhat Gained the house. but even then
Mr.. Booth thought IL best 20 pass the nigAt 10
the theater as number OF the most elevated
spectators were making strenuous EFFORTS 10
induce the vigilance committee 30 lynch 'the
Internal SaeaStag casS."
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1881-01-29

Fig. In od-fashlonut Scotch, WAS TIM
always used for 8 coarse earthan ware lar ~
vessel The story IS well known OF the good
nstuTed chambernsid who SAID 20 an English
Lady "hO lately arrived ia " bland for tue irst
tiIne Ia her life, Would yol Ike hsr Coca ia
your eed this cauld picst n .ms". "A waaG."
"a u Va lazy. "A pig. mem. sat- I put pg
IA your o.d TO Keep YOU warm Leave Ia,
Tom, young WON an lonr mistress snail hear
. your LiSoieucI-" 'Nas olfeLce 1 hope IN IN
IL was my mistress bide ms ASK aai Ia
sure SIZE meaat IL Ia kin iucsS" The
lai! looked kEy IN tue facs aat
Jaw ~ g,aRce that no tDSg.L WAS
litchded. Ia. she Was quite st a loss how ~
account for he proposal. she WAS awsrs thl
li1sh children steep with the pigs on the h8W
o. Their cabins. but this Was somethin< far
more antonishnent Her curiosity WAS nOS
russo and she said tn tlder Tone lis Il com
mon 10 This country, my girl. for ades Ia ID ~
pigs Ia lGetr bedss Nd gentlem "A hae the q
100. mtm. when the weathers cauld." II Il
Oh surely would not put the pig btVeen TIA
s1tels:" iii you please. mem, &c would 30 yas
matst good there" "Bstween the sh,eysi IL
would dirty them, girl I could never ale. %
with pig between the sheets" Never fear
mem! you'll sleep far moir comfortable III
steek the mouth o. I tightly and tie H. up On A
Poke" do you sleep with the pig yourself Ga
cold weather. mo. mem: PIGS are only for
gen,lefolks that lie on feather o DIS | sle.ap on
caai chan In sackingl With my neigaolr-lasS"
oah. DO you sleep with calf bet Seen youf
salu me cockney lady. mo, mem: you're
JOAN now, said G.iIzy; 'we lie on ths tap
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1881-01-29

A FAIR Young MOTHER with a crying babe
In her arms. Sat in q Western stage coach o
Tue opposite seat was prominent politician OF
me hold your baby; perhaps can s0othe HIM"
"0h. no; am much Obliged; you couldn'G nelo
me any" was the answer. But" nb persist I'd.
''you had better LIT me try" ''Y0U are very
kind: but know on couldn't help me, TOR be
Is hungry" replied the blushing mother.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1881-01-29

Efchpnge. Then We withdraw all objections to
his appointme Mt. All We ever did insist on IN
this matter was the selection OF man wac
would Know water when he saw lt.-BaS; os
G'ooe.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1881-01-29
An lnm p, tu ows Husband.

henry VIII, whose matrimonial. expersenx
as certainty varied did not enloy single ufc
rhen Jane seymour died upon the birth OF ben
u.S cnlIo, few months sftrr her MARRIAGE.
SaSs NritT In the InI<r'adnt0r1s A sl,',c 10
~ Y t.. seStn natural that hush aud OF suY
anectton ana sensioliity would have aspa 700
luoen sAuothed oy the circums;an OF bex
ornn 70 ehtertain the thought OF another mar
lions ere on loot Immediately Tor James s,c.
oessor Henry proposed 10 Francis OF Francs
10 meet him 81 Calais. bringing with him the
MS. tadies Oh n's kingdom, from wnom Henry
might make his sele ton. Francts thou .,
anxious 20 ccLcillste Heary. WAS not g:utny Ia
drtvc the ladies or France "a auction axe a DECD
OF cattle. Anne of Cloves. however was soon
fixed upon; partly, a. seems. because sne = A
iepOr,Sd 10 be large or stature. which was A
great commendatlon 10 Henry. ana party D.,
cause he Ianciei fatLerlng portrait She did
Lot prove ID 6e SO attractive Ia person ~ 40
hsd anticipated, and proceedings Tor divorce
Mas Immediately Instituted
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1881-01-29
Tie Proud Piunlher.

LaSr weeks Puck has thrilling tale entitled
THE Proud PluElber-A True Tale OF Mr.. Jto.
benOoom's Bathroom" It seems from the opea-
ing chapter that Mrs. j. discovered leak aud
told Mr.. j. He wanted to know whether IL
would not do to wrap rag around 1t, but thu
lady was afrald OF dlphtherla. which she had
heard was caused by detective plumbing. 50
they sent card to the proud plumber, and 1t
was delivered to his CHIEF clerk, who handed 1t
80 his private secretary. Within two or three
days the plumber kindly 10 )ked In, and Mr..
JibbenbOOm took him to the bathroom The
plumber said it was "naathin' for me-" and
mat he would send the sup 5rintendent.
TWO days later the superintendent l!led, and
said he woulds nd the foreman. The foreman
calii next dsy and had ali the family engaged
In carrying hot water to thaw oat the pipes.
The lOurneynan came late in the afternoon,
chopped u o Ali the wood work OF the bathroom
and cut through the ptasterIng." Tn1ysAa
that the one thing needrli was 1.-The boy"
The last chapter Of this Instructive romance
we give entire:
"CuAPTRR ".
1.-The boy came ten minutes later.
"'Why, this Is just my Style he said; wy
dldG't you send for me fr5t-off:' All this wants
j. two cents worth O. solder. Here y'are."
"Fhe boy sodered UP the pipe, aud stopped
and plasterer, and paid $40 to have the bath
room rtSsored TO its original condition. The
children escaped the diphJnerla.
'iNEw YORK Jan. 32nd, 1881,
-"JiBBESBooM. D.. to z. MALLoY, Plumbar
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1881-01-29

MERELY tip the maidaus
over the slushy street
Lifting their costly dror-ss
Up from their dainty feet
Visions OF stockings. embroidered
In an expensive way
1esch us old boys The lesson
That for such thin KS We pay
TfhdricS PFar+is 4 fai.4
The publication la ALBANY oil the updpr
laEers DIS paid by the county has brought 10
nght the fact that IN numerous cas- X
large amounts have been paid where all the et-
pehseS We're borne by The deceased person..
friends or societies with which they hal been
connected. In some cases the undert lI,ers
never even saw the bodies for which they made
The Charges.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1881-01-29

II you intend 70 De 3 nit. oaa.re deYar pliit
cau-ch fa.r.-Rol .es;er H,s>1ta
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1881-01-29

hlsh degree OF neat, Which so thoroughly ripeuS
and hardenS the annual growths thai the
Young shoots become quite brittle under It's IN.
naehce, and vegetation Is thus fortified against
cold. N -
The temperature and physical condittoo n,
I'M sol. hase also an important controlling ia
3iu9lee III Tue olc-reSiSting power OF plants.
aiess proper degree OF moisture is furnished
~ tAe iootS Tue more Succulent branches Will
become dry and shriyeled under the infiuencp
pi cOin, oIy currents OF air, although the Their.
mo De ABOVE the.freeztng point; and when
The temperature OF the soil is low me acftyIty
OF The roots Is correspondence decreased ana
Ihey are unable 10 replace the losses caused by
evaporation from the external surfaces of the
branches and stems OF the plants
seeing that the temperature of tho All, in
which plants are growing has so potent An In.
nuence on their cold resisting powers we real
ne Ine value OF me application or leaves.
roots or plants during winter.
THE BEST sArEGCARD.
From what has been stated It is evident that.
SO FAR as concerns soil and culture, the greatest
Safee uaTd against injury 10 plants from cold is
that CT having properly rpened or matured
Erowths. How much OF the disappointment In
Iruit culture is the result OF imnaturei gro yths
III VOL be difficult to determine. / have long
ronsld red this 70 be cause OF the disease known
as petto' In the peach tree. This disease Is
most pr' Yslent In localities where growth is
proIohgto unttl II IS suddenly arrested oy KILL
ny ilost: ind an not aware OF It's existence
c!mat' where the tree becomes dectduoui
the ats, &c OF frost.
HOW TO ASSIST NATURE
IL Is wftho The province OF the cultlyator to
assist nature in the requisites for perfect ma
duration OF growth The fruit grower will bs
careful 10 avoid setting his trees In wet soil or
IN low rich lands He will also prudenSy An
stain from the application OF stimulating m an
ares which would have tendency 70 encoar-
age late growth in autumn; he viii abstain
from all cultural operations on the soil when
growth should be checked rather than encour-
.ged. and use every available means 70 sec lre
On carly cessation OF wood growth
Clearfield Republican. [volume] (Clearfield, Pa.) 1851-1937, 1881-09-14
A SURPRISE-NOTA SLAUGH
TER.

General Carr, so soon as the mails
reach him, will enjoy a pleasure rarely
accorded to men. He will read the
testimonies of his w.citizens upon
bis life and its work, and few men,
living or dead, ever elected more uni.
form expressions Of cordial hearty
admiration and even affection. Once
upon a time Lord Brougham, who was
detested by the London Times and
never could get word Of justice from
its arrogant conductors, resolved TO
play the "Thunderer" q trick. While
travelling toward Nice he learned that
the cholera was ravaging that deli.
cious Winter Eden. Turning about
in his coach he alighted at little inn
near Cannes, but as his baggage had
been purposely sent forward to
the hotel IN Nice, and as he did not
appear, the rumor rose that he bad
been carried off by the fatal epidemic.
He took no pains to correct the i'm
preston and had the satisfaction of
reading a fortnight later in the Times
an elaborate obituary essay, dwelling
on the Statesman's virtue and passing
with ilattering delicacy over the points
in his character OF which the journal
did not approve. Brougham was well
satisfied. He commemorated.h his sat.
isiaotion by building a villa on the
edge of the tall rock upon which the
ancient fishers village of Cannes was
perched, and to-day that villa is the
centre of the most charming Winter
capital on the Mediterranean coast.
General Carr ought to commemorate
the Arizona wilds by some signal token
for first escaping death, and second,
drawing out the testimony Of his
countrymen's esteem in the fashion of
all others that is dear TO the soldiers
heart.
However, though General Carr es.
capcs, it will be observed that the ro.
lief is more good luck than good man.
agement The Apaches seem to have
been handled with more address than
our troopers, and even the modified
slaughter does not give the country
much cause for reinsurance. If the
Apaches can with bare squad, unpro.
tected by reserves and their rear in
the air, make such havoc as M'Dowell's
subordinates described, it is not com
iorting to reflect upon what they may
be able TO bring about when in full
force and stimulated blythe first draught
of blood. Wisdom after the fact is q
common and not inexpensive commo.
dity, and life being short we shall not
take up the readers time by evolving
what might have been; but if the
forces at General McDowcll's disposal
were set in the field where they should
be, these disheartening slaughters of
the young and ardent would not be
the recurring chapter of the news
from the West.-Phiiddeipkd Times.
Clearfield Republican. [volume] (Clearfield, Pa.) 1851-1937, 1881-09-14
CLEARFELD PA, WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER IA, 1881.

ity or for the balance Of the current
Presidential term, it would still be
convenient, il not absolutely needful,
to have some means provided for au.
thentlcating the fact Of the "inability."
Congress has made provisions for tenn.
porary disability in the cases OF the
heads Of departments and Of certain
judicial officers and yet this oontin-
gency of the disabling sickness of the
highest official Of the nation has been
left wholly unprovided for
1t may be suggested that it is for
the judicial branch Of the Government,
rather than the legislative, to construe
the provisions OF the Constitution. In
case OF this kind, however, 1t would
be entirely competent for Congress to
interpret an obscure passage in TaS
organic 1aw by means of clearly
worded statute putting it in force,
One OF the first things which Congress
ought to do when it reassembles is TO
address itself to this subject. Even if
the present emergency shall then have
passed, this knot should be united with
a view to the avoidance of similar com
plicatons in the future,
Clearfield Republican. [volume] (Clearfield, Pa.) 1851-1937, 1881-09-14
GRANGE ORGANIZED.

Deputy W, p. Read organized a
Grange in Jordan township, on Satur-
day, August 9th. Mr.. Reuben Straw
was elected Master, and DR.. A. Il.
Cresswell, Secretary. We did not learn
the names of the other officers This
Grange is located in the midst of a
large farming community composed of
wide-awake, progressive farmers, and
with good officers and the united
efforts Of its members can be made o
power for good in that section.
Clearfield Republican. [volume] (Clearfield, Pa.) 1851-1937, 1881-09-14

How TO WATER IN A DRoUGHT.-ln
the Summer droughts which now and
then occur il Is common TO see persons
everywhere at work watering the
garden to keep things alive till the reg
ular rain comes. 1t is, however, the
experience OF all that the moro the
garden is watered the more ii wants,
and thus on the whole il does little good.
Yet water can be so given as to be free
from this objection, 1t is the harden.
ing Of the surface which causes the
evil, and n hard, compact surface al.
ways dries out faster than a loose one.
The proper way is take the earth away
for few inches around the plant TO be
watered, 80 as TO make sort Of basin,
and into this pour the water, letting II
gradually soak away. After it has
all disappeared and the surface gets a
little dry, then draw the earth back
again which had been displaced TO
mako tho basin. This will make a
loose surface over the watered part,
which will preserve it from drying out
rapidly. Tomatoes, egg plants, cab
bages and other plants Of this charac.
ter watered in this way will need no
renewal of water for several weeks. 1t
is a slow way OF getting such work
done, but il is the only sure way of
doing Practical Farmer.
Clearfield Republican. [volume] (Clearfield, Pa.) 1851-1937, 1881-09-14
WORK or SCHOOL BOARDS.

The appointment Of teachers during
the past week occurred as follows:
Gulich township-Janesville High
School, Wilbur f. Dale; Primary, L.
A. Horton Muddy Run, Lila G. Shoff I;
Ramey, A, L, Scofeld Guintar, II. p.
Hewitt.
Beccaria and Glen Hope-Jennie
Dewalt Fairview, Mary Haley, Viii.
liams School, Tressa Neff; Everly,
Miss Evenly; Coalport, Annie Mat.
thews; Matthews, Maggie Cummings
Porter Run, Susan Fletcher; Hager.
ty's, DIN Bloom Mccoy School, W.
j. Mccoy; Plank Road, II. j. Fry.
Karthaus township-Oak Hill, Ed.
gar l.. McCloskey Salt Lick, Anna
l.. Hall Karthaus, May l.. Hemphill
Three Runs, T. W. Buchanan.
Boggs township-Blue Ball, D. d.
Sblnel Eagle Eye, Frank Glare
StoneviIle, Margery Wclch; Bethle-
hem, Martha II. Sweeny.
Clearfield Republican. [volume] (Clearfield, Pa.) 1851-1937, 1881-09-14

One of our citizens, who usually
keeps several dozen work-horses, in.
formed US few days since that he oc-
casionally fed sour apples to his horses,
with excellent results. They arc a
certain cure for worms. He recon-
mends from a half to whole pail full
once a week. Another citizen, who
has been in the practice of keeping q
considerable number Of work horses
on his farm, says that he has been in the
habit of turning his horses into the
orchard in the FAN, where they could
eat as many apples as they liked. He
found that they derived much benefit
from the feed, and gained flesh much
more rapidly than others which did
not receive an apple feed.-Dirigo
Rural.
Clearfield Republican. [volume] (Clearfield, Pa.) 1851-1937, 1881-09-14
SOLID ADrIcE To FARNERS


The Worthy Master of the Oregon
State Grange is practical common
sense Granger who is jealous in Grange
work, and mindful Of the dearest in.
terests of the farming community ;
therefore we cheerfully commend bis
thoughtful advice TO Patrons in all
sections OF country where the order
has the least foothold Hear him:
"Put less toll and more thought into
your calling, and make it attractive TO
your children. Unite with the Grange
and take your sons and daughters with
you. II is the farmers own and only
organization-a practical means OF
combination, of united effort and self
help, and affords the society and recre.
alton you and your families so much
need. Learn and practice the great
principles Of truth, justice, charity aud
brotherly love upon which II is found.
cd. Cease to be mere plodders and
get out of the narrow groves of isola-
ton, prejudice and mingled credulity
and suspicion in which you have been
running. By mutual aid educate your
selves and cultivate your gifts, in the
frank and free discussion Of the Grange
and those great questions in which we
ne all alike interested. Learn TO be
more liberal, and, above all things,
break the bonds which make you the
slaves OF party and dupes Of dema-
gogues. Thus you will be better quail.
fed to act well your part in life, and
fulfill the duties Of citizens and law.
makers OF the State and Nation. Thus
will your vocation be elevated and
made more respectable, and your sons
will not be 80 anxious TO exchange the
free, pure air of the country for the
poisoned atmosphere Of the city"