The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1881-09-02
Going to Sleep in the Day Coach.
Bob Burdette.

Bob Burdette.
Il was not Mr.. Dinkleman's fault that he
was a tall man, and, in fact, under
ordinary circumstances he was very proud
of his figure. But one night last week he
came down from Chicago to Burlington and
couldn't get on to any kind Of a show In
the sleeper, and one seat to himself was the
best they could do for him in the day coach.
But he was weary all the same and had to
sleep. So he slowed away his valise and
tried to sleep.
He made very elaborate preparations sew
eral times before he could get things fixed to
suit him.
First he thrust his feet out half way over
the aisle and pillowed his weary head on the
window sill. That was very comfortable.
But i'm minute or two q woman walked
down the aisle and fell over his legs and
screamed; then u child came along and fell
over the feet and cried; then a man came
along, stumbled over the feet and swore, and
just as Mr.. Dinkleman was beginning to
hope the procession was by the brakeman
came rushing along; he stumbled over the
projecting feet, made one short, unrevised
remark, turned up and gave the nearest foot
kick that made every last soul aboard that
car draw his breath and shudder and shrek
kleman: - Now, hold out the other one."
But Mr.. Dinkleman said nothing. He
could only hold that foot up by the ankle,
hold 1t high up In the air with both hands
| while he swayed back and forth, held his
mouth wide open and wished for broken
bridge, q misplaced switch or an accident
policy.
Then, when the cessation of his agony
allowed him to feel sleepy again, he buckled
| himself up into the shape Of letter N,with
his knees braced against the back of the seat
| i'm front of him, his feet hanging down, his
| body erect and his head dropping over the
| back of the seat. But both his feet got sound
asleep long before he did and when he stood
up he fell down and all the passengers shook
| their heads, the men laughed sardonical
laughs. the women said "What q shame
Such nice, respectable looking man, too,
and the man on the wood-box unfeelingly
said "too much booze" And his hat fell
that seat put his feet In it and spit all over II
before Mr.. Dinkleman could find 1t. Clearly
| that was no way to sleep.
Then he curled up in the seat like dog
on q rug, with his knees drawn up to hi:
| chin, his head on the window-sill and hi:
| feet braced against the end of the seat. In
| about twenty minutes he awoke up with
more aches In his legs and body than he had
hairs on his head. He was so sore and stiff
that 1t was ten minutes before he could bend
his elbows enough to get his hands into hi.
pocket to get his ticket, and the conductor
got tired of waiting for him at last, and said
| sternly: SECT of ut the next station
| And MIR. Dinkleman could hear the passenger
saying: "Dead beat" and SCOT th,
bounce" and "SeIved him right" Evi
IDENTIFY, no man could sleep very long In tina
posture and get home with any kind Of |
reputation.
/ Then he tried to sit straight up and holt
his head UP by clasping his hands behind II
| but when his hands gave way his head fel
back with snap that came so near breaking
| his neck that he hasn't got over 1t yet, AM
one of the passengers asked him If he die
! that for fun or just because he liked IL
| Then be leaEed his head down on the bacl
! of the seat before him and dozed until b,
| woke up with crease In his forehead like
| the brand of Cain. Then he laid down will
| his head pillowed on the arm of the seat
and the first man that walked down tn,
aisle jammed his head half way down int
| his neck and made him feel that life was
mockery. Then he sat up in the seat, facing
the aisle, put his feet upon the arm Of the
seat, leaned his head against the window
and broke the glass the first time the ca
lurched. Thirty cents and cold in the heat
for that.
Having thus sampled all the positions HI
could think of, he spent the rest Of the nigh
trying them, sometimes separately, ant
sometimes together, and when at last he go
to Burlington, his hair was gray, his eye
were wild, he had to be carried to his home
on stretcher, and the doctors put him In |
mustard plaster case right away, where h
has lain ever since. And If you don't be
lieve 1t, try an all-night ride In day coacl
yourself sometime.