davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-10-20

PATIEScE.-''You can do anything, if you will
only have patience" says your old fogy uncle,
who made his fortune by being planted in the
old town when corner lots were worth only ten
dollars an acre, and waited till he woke up one
morning to find them worth $500 foot.
.'Water may be carried in a sieve, if you can
only wait"
"HOw longT queries impudent and impatient
Young America, who can hardly wait for his
bread, or the old mans obituary.
IT'LL it freezes !"
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-10-20

"BUT YE CAN'T VoTE."-Great was the dismay
and amazement among the Irish laborers, when
the steam shOvels were put in operation on a
certain section of the Vermont Central Railroad
and one of the sturdiest of the Hibernians, after
gazing at his huge rival for a moment, thus
apostrophised the enemy:
"Well, fax, it's big divil ov n haste that We
are, and mighty sthrong in the aarms. May be
now ye think yersef as good as an freshman,
yote ~ - =
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-10-20

OYSTER PIE.-Fifty oysters, two eggs, two Ia
blespoonfuls of flour, quarter of pound of but
ter, little vinegar, chopped parsley, pepper,
salt, and nutmeg. Beat the eggs until they are
light; drain the oysters from their liquor, put
them in a stew pan and let them simmer for
five minutes. Melt the butter and stir the -four
into it perfectly smooth. To the butter add the
beaten eggs, parsley, nutmeg, pepper salt and
vinegar. Mix well, and 10 this add the oysters.
Let them simmer together for ten minutes; then
put into the paste. Place in the oven imine-
diately and bake.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-10-20

PEACH MARMALADE-Pare, stone and weigh
the fruit; heat slowly to draw ont the juice
stirring up often with n wooden spoon. After it
is hot boil quickly, still stirring three-quarters
of an hour; then add the sugar allowing three
fonrths of pound of fruit. Boil up well for five
minutes, taking off every particle of scum add
the juice of one lemon to every three pounds of
fruit, and the water in which one-fourth of the
peach kernels have been boiled and STEPPED.
Stew all together for ten minutes more, stirring
to q smooth paste. Put it up hot in alright
cans or, if yon prefer to put it in glass jars put
it in them when nearly cold, and put white paper
on the top of each jar.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-10-20

"YRs," whispered the boy to Mr.. Barnum, 81
am ready to pay for my ticket, but want the
privilege of going in by crawling under the
tent And Mr.. Barnum agreed, and ordered
the guards not to interfere with the lad; and af-
ter the boy had performed the feat, Mr. Barnum
went inside, and asked his reasons for it, and
the lad explained that he had got over s. bet
with the boys, who had tried the crawl and
failed, that he would succeed in it.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-10-20
COOKING srEAK.-This comes from headnr

COOKING STEAK.-This comes from headquar-
ters and may be considered near infallible rs
human nature can attain. First, get tender
steak, no matter what part it is from so il is ten
der; let it be three-fourths of inch thick. Cook
it at the last moment, when every other dish is
ready to be set on the table. Use wire broiler,
if you can get one. Have hot fire, and when it
is crisped one side turn it and crisp it on
the other. If fat drops and blazes, throw pinch
of salt on the Goals. Don't do anything else
while it is cooling, Have your plate hot, and q
lump of butter melting in the bottom. Put but
ter on the upper side, and eat in five minutes af-
ter cooking. More steak is spoiled by slow cook
ing than by any other fault.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-10-20

HUsKING CoRS.-An Illinois correspondent of
the New York Tribune gives this method: Fit
your wagon box TO hold thirty bushels then put
at least foot and half hang board on the OPP
posite side; tie the horse next to You to the 9TH
er ones hame, to keep him from eating; then
take two rows, catch the ears with the thumb
towards the point, strip both sides nearly at
once, and give it a wrench with your right hand
at the same time.s In good corn n hand will in
this way crib sixty bushels in day.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-10-20

THE WAY To EvADE A QURsTIoN.-''what do
you believe |" said man to his neighbOr.
"Why, believe the same as the church be-
lieves"
"Pray, what docs the church believer
"Why, the church believes the same as be-
lieye.n
both believer
'Why, the church and both believe the same
fhinn
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-10-20

HOTEL SCENE IN GoTHAM.-'Landlord, come
here; have got secret that will make your
fortune for your
Landlord, joyously rubbing his hands, ''No |;
what is il ~
EDO you see that goose, at the head of the ia
''Yes-what of itr
THAT is the very one which, by cackling,
saved Rome. Come along and will show yen
where the centurion trod on him."
Scene closes with q slammed door.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-10-20

An old Dutchman, who had recently Joined
the temperance society, was taken sick, and sent
to the doctor to prescribe for him, who ordered
him to take an ounce of brandy per day. The
old chap overhauled his arithmetic, and found
in the table of apOthecaries' weight, 'eight
drains make an ounce" "Mine Got" says the
Dutehman, dat ish de temperance for me.
didn't get but six drains before, and now gets
aiFht ~
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-10-20

BREAD WITHOUT KNEADING.-Sallie J. B., in
Pomeroy's Democrat, says: at is needless to Ia
Dor over bread as it is the habit of many of our
friends to do-setting the sponge over night, and
kneading until the arms ache. A package of pa
tent yeast will do the business on the instant.
The bread has only to be mixed and baked as
loaf of cake, without kneading at all, and is
more tender and delicious than any raised bread
ever eaten. We have tried it, and can answer
for its excellence. A little potato adds to its
wise Improvement. This is science hand to
hand with domestic economy in matters per-
tanning to the household, and the happiness of
communities and Countries
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-10-20
IToLp You so.-"wife, wife, our cows dea

IToLp You So.-"Wife, wife, our cows dead
-ehoked with turnip."
81 told you SO. always said she'd choke
herself with them turnps."
But it was a pumpkin"
wal, its all the same 1 know'd all along
how it would be. Nobody but ninny like you.
would ever feed COW on pumpkins, that was
not chopped"
"The pumpkins was chopped. And 'twant
the pumpkins neither that chOked her. Twas
mouth, now"
"Ughi ugh! There goes my bread-tray No
longer ago than yesterday, told you that the
COW would swallow that tray
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-10-20

IT is related Of Bernadotte that when he was
9 corporal in the French army, he proposed
marriage TO n peasant girl, who, by the advice
of her friends, rejected him, because he was q
poor soldier. After he became King Of Sweden,
she wrote to him, and asked for the washing of
the palace, which he granted. Il isn't the hero
inc Of every love story that will wash.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-10-20

IMITATION OYSTER SoUP.-One quart of Ia.
matoes; quart Of milk and one quart of W alter:
boil the water and tomatoes together about
twenty Minutes and then add the milk, with one
tablespoonful Of soda; season you do oyster
soup with butter, pepper and salt; add crackers,
if you desire, and you have delicious preface
to a pleasant dinner.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-10-20

OLD-FAsHIoNED BAKED APPLEs.-Take Juicy
apples, pare and core whole; 4 large corer.
Put side by side in baking pan and fill up GEN.
tres with brown sugar; pour INTO each n little
lemon juice, and stick in each . long piece of
lomon evenly cut; put enough water in tho pan
to prevent the apples from burning. and bake
gently until done.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-10-20

DRINKS FOR CHILDRES.-Ricc water. harley
water, oatmeal water, with lemon and sugar.
should he ready in every house where children
are. These drinks are surely better than cold
tea, which is often given, or doubtfultea How.
ever, milk is better than anything, when it i
sweet and pure.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-10-20

LEONARDO DA VISCI is said to have invented
the wheelbarrow. This information will scarce
ly be available to gentlemen who have stumbled
over this diabolical continuance in the dark.
Leonardo has been dead some years.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-10-20

A STEADY Flow OF MILK.-Regular milking
and feed so as to keep up good flow of milk,
are requisite to successful dairying. When once
the milk falls off, it is difficult to regain the sup
ply. Milk regularly then, and as quick as posi-
BILE, and keep up steady and good feed.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-10-20

KING KALARAUA's army consists of exactly
sixty men. Well, if that is the case, we don't
wonder ut his wanting to sell his kingmom. He
might trade his army for our navy, then swap
the navy for q dog, shoot the canine, and finally
die happy.-DcTTick.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-10-20

To PRESERVE the color Of black thread stock.
ings, wash them in water with bran, no soan
the bran to be tied up in muslin bag. The
stockings will preserve their black dye. Merino
stockings can be washed the same way.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-10-20

AwRrTER in the 7rareller, says of the alacrity
of ceasing work at noon: 81 have seen man,
who had his pick in air, knock off work and
leave it there, rather than waste time to pull it
down after twelve struck"
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-10-20

TIE Elmira Fres Press casts its surgical eye
about and remarks: 'The Presidents physicians
couldn't have been more astonished if the bullet
which killed their patient had been finally cut
cut of o saw-log in one of the timber districts.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-10-20

W. A. CRoFFUT was shocked at the nudity
which he saw in Naples, and he is a newspaper
man who always had free passes to every varie-
ty show that came along 1t must be awful
over there-Fyee Press.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-10-20

ALICE OAKEs has gone to Australia. She mar.
RED MP all the loose material in America, and
has now probably gone to O foreign cline for q
change of husband and scenery.-Ffee Press.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-10-20

POTATOES may be kept a very long time from
rotting in cellar protected against frost, by
busting the floor or bin with lime, then put down
n layer of potatoes six inches thick, dust with
lime, another layer of potatoes, etc. They sprout
least in darkness.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-10-20

SQUASH FRITrERs.-One pinto cooked sqrssb.
one pint milk. two egg, little salt, Hssr 70
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-10-20
Selett goetrp.
AUTUMN NOTES.
BY HKxJ. y. TAYIDR.

strike no sympathetic cord
In any mans Indignant breast.
Who vears at thistles with hoe.
IAs worthy people sometimes alan
The door. and leave q word unspoke
That makes perfect rhyme with lamb.
And fancy no commandment broken
And yet dare q single word
For Sootland's flower with crimson eresi
Thai wears bee On every blow,
And drifts its silver live bAll.,on
Along the years dull afternoon,
Bound for another Spring. and girls
The feeble heart Ike holy words
just As the seeds are fit to fiy,
A yellov-bird drops deity down,
A living nugget from the sky,
And lights upon the thistle brown,
And then. ~ IL the golden head
Were shaking up its feather Bad,
A little bresthless tempest brraks
About the bird in silver fakes,
A GINNING cloud Of flock and heck-
Aias, the thistle Is Q wreck!
But no. the reeds are taking wing;
The soidnneh hss no time 10 sing.
For taking wing-and then the gallo
Sweeps out the feet Of silk and sail;
And 80. the weeds are always here,
And fnehes dine another year.
And 81, oh, troubled SOUL good cheerl
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-10-20

s. to $50 s IS. : rho -. g. scssI -. =
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-10-20

N ws..e.A ssn vissrs txsa vAis- .ss.i H,,,,rc-,.
I.iisiisn rst1 ~ s1iie r,iaSl1 c>.r.t - - =
Wkses:. f = 9 .sss. 1s E.s. Ss;.....
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1881-02-03
Did She DO Wrong !

Mr.. Barker Bennington scolded and
looked across the lavish table, nervously.
He was tall, portly, elderly gentleman,
with pale eyes and scant hair, and a
turft of haycolored chin whiskers. He
wore pair of thousand-dollar diamond
studs, and drank fiive-dollar bottle of
Veuve Alhambrina every noon with his
luncheon. To-day it was stuffed. egg
plant and deviled kidneys, with marvel
lous Roman ice, and Mr.. Bennington GER
tainly had no occasion apparently for
Tuning and scowling as he did, SO far as
his ch.f de cuisines efforts were con-
cerned.
81 don't see why you couldn't have
stayed where you were, he said at last
And then You knew who it was Mr..
Bennington was provoked with-the
good-looking, manly young fellow who
had not scrupied to help himself liber-
ally to the delicious delacies on the Ia
BILE.
1.-THE trouble was l had no place to
stay" he answered with laugh. I'm
sorry-and all that sort of thing, to
have to come at last. But l can't help
being your sisters son, and very friend
less at that"
Jack Wizards voice just suited him,
and its very sweetness and boldness an
noyed Mr.. Bennington.
II don't suppose You can, he returned
Jelly; land l dare say you expect me to
do something for you-provide for you.
in fact"
mot at all, SIR" Jack said cheerfully,
as he sliced of a generous square Of deli
ciousness. II only expect you will give
me some work to do, and pay me for do
ing it."
Mr.. Bennington looked at him as if he
were natural curiosity.
"Humph. what can you do ?"
"a little of everything. Try me-"
II suppose, then, you see no room for
improvement in this place? Orperhaps
you don't include architecture among
your accomplishments
Jack looked solemnly aronnd ct the
magnificent room furnished and decorated
= : royal palace might have been.
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1881-02-03

three years agone, funeral there. They
put q coffin in the ground, didn't they,
wife? but it don't hold my darling"
do you think would give my pretty
ono to the filthy worms to eat out her
ewes and crawl into her ears and feed on
her lips? Do you think would put her
into the cold, the storm and sodden
earth? Couldn't the old roof that had
sheltered herlively body cover her when
she was so mighty still and gave her no
trouble? I read an old book that tells
how they wrap up the dead and they
will keep at least for years. l made two
cotfins. one within the other, and put
her on soft feather bed inside of them,
and shut her up and brought her here
and kept her here, and they buried an
empty box yorder. and 1 and my wife
held another service here, without cen
clergyman, but with our groans and
tears.
And the child was always frightened
in storm. l always come to watch
when there was rain and wind. But to-
night my lass persuaded me not to come
because you were in the house. waited
but my spirit wouldn't hold. had to
come, and came ct last, just to see her
quiet after the hullabaloo. And you
came, sir; you've outwitted me. MY
lass is % keen lass and she read some
what in her face. You never married;
YOU never lost child. And you think
its easy to bury dead limbs out Of your
sight? But it amt; Lord, it amt. It's
the heart breakingest thing lt's-O
Lordr'
He stood up straight now and faced me
with a tremOr, with eagerness. Grief
and passion gave him eloquence, and his
defense was warm.
His head bent over the coffin-lid again.
I stepped to Mrs. Fern, and whispered
to her.
"Forgive me, will leave you now: !
will 20 to my room until morning. Will
you see me then?"
She nodded, and went.
A year later I stood in the churchyard
of Baytown, and with me stood George,
the hostler. The mortal remains of little
Lucy Fern lay then beneath the grave.
stone. had gone to the clergyman OF
the parish after that stormy night. de
had heard my tale with some professional
horror and with much human sympathy,
and he had lent his aid in conveying it to
its last resting place the coffin Of the top
loft.
And year after George and ! stood
there together. The hostler rambled in
his meditative style, while 1 listened:
''Bless you, sir, you did sight OF
good to the master and missus. Queer
whispers was always on the go. They
never could be happy with dead corpse
a-corrupting of itself over their heads.
AS my mother used to say, the worms
must live, and we amt no right to stand
against the natural food of a thing. Gu
rious thing, Miss Lucy died in storm;
couldn't tell which howled the louder
it or master. Not missis, bless you, sir
She's one OF that sort that chews her
tears reg liar"
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1881-02-03

Anu MAUI, rdulauU duu DrlSuG Us
humming bird among rarest flowers.
81 knew she would be just so" Mrs.
Anglesey said, triumphantly, in her own
heart, as two minutes later she had sailed
into the well-filled parlors, on DR.. Tum-
bleton's reverend arm and she sat down
to await the entrance of the bridal party
who came in and went up to DR.. Tumble
ton, standing, open book in hand before
the canopy of roses and tuberoses.
Then she started to her feet with lit
tie shrek of horror.
cts the wrong manw she exclaimed,
wildly, and then there wasa general look
of CONSERVATION.
A second dramatic silence, and Maud's
sweet, resolute voice answered:
Its the right man, Doctor Tumble
toni We are of age. Go on with the
ceremony"
And there was no gainsaying the des-
perate earnestness in her face, the wom-
anly, positive look in her eyes, OF the de-
termined, manly bearing of the handsome
young fellow at her side.
"NIiss Anglesey is correct, sir. My
name is John Willard. Go on at once
with the marriage"
And it went on, and, just as the final
benediction was pronounced, and Mr..
Bennington plunged out, red, breath
less, forid, nervous, straight into the
parlors almost into Mrs. Angleseys arms.
"Was ever anything so stupid? Sorry
to have been SO detained"
And as Mrs. Anglesey went off, for the
third time, into hysterical weeping,
Mand stepped up. her black eyes like
stars, her cheeks glowing.
cit doesn't matter in the least, Uncle
Barker" she said, quietly. I wouldn't
have married you, anyhow. AS it is 1
have Just been married to your nephew,
John Willard. Won't you congratulate
us?"
Jack bowed, and Mr.. Bennington
gasped, and finally understood it all.
''You-you-how dared your"
Maud answered, promptly:
because we loved each other; and L
think you and mamma would suit each
other better than You and l."
Well, Mrs. Anglesey actually did mar
nv Mr.. Barker Bennington; and, as they
drove out in their landau, they turned
their heads if they happened to meet Jack
Willard and his wife on the street.
But Maud doesn't mind it much. She
only clings more closely to her husbands
arm, and begs him to tell her over again
that he loves her better than all the
world.
"For if you never will regretit, never
WILL" she SAYS, laughingly.
And, although am bound to confess
they never did regret 1t, and to admit
they were happy and contented in their
little suburban home, yet l am afraid
Maud did not quite do what was right
toward Mr.. Bennington.
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1881-02-03
A Disreputable Telephone.

That reservoir of female loneliness and
intelligence known as Mills Seminary,
says the San Francisco Post, is connected
with outer darkness by telephone,
through which, in some senses inade-
Quate instrument, all interviews between
the inmates and male beings are con-
Quoted. The other morning Mrs. Mills
was informed that gentlemen in San
Francisco had signalled her instrument,
and that excellent dissemination of
crochet and Greek words repaired to the
mouth piece.
"Hello?" said the man.
Heaven, o." answered Mrs. NJ, who
is very pious.
81 want em all in tights, with spangles
onto EN-" said the voice, earnestly.
want WHAT" gasped Mrs. NJ, who
was inexpressibly shocked.
"Why, the girls, replied the voice,
land very low necks. Have some of EN-
Jump through balloons. Red legs, green
SASH"
'The rules of this establishment will
not allow anything of the kind, said the
model preceptress firmly.
VERY we'll, then, make EN- all red
When can you send 'em to the theatre?'
"The young ladies are allowed to at
tend the matinee only in parties of six,
and accompanied by teacher" said the
guardian of youthful innocence.
''Am not satisfied with twin sisters
must be made to kick higher"
How Mrs. Mills rcfrained from faint
ing she never knew herself, but when
she revived little she made the wire
hum like an Eolian harp in nor'east
gale with the emphatic remark:
81 must request sir, that you instantly
remove your daughters from this insti-
tution-instantly, sir. cannot consent
to impart any such scandalous inform
alton to the young, and l desire"
And there is no knowing how the mat.
ter would have resulted had not the Oak
land Office suddenly switched of the con-
nection Just then, and explained that he
had by mistake hooked the seminary on
to the Petaiuma station, where .
variety troupe agent was instructing
city theatrical bill engraver regarding
some colored posters.
There is nothing like presence Of
mind, after all. The other day, during
tremendous shower, q gentleman en-
tered q fashionable club, carrying q silk
umbrella, which he placed in the
stand. Instantly another gentleman,
who was mourning the abstraction Of
just such an article, jumped mp. will
you allow me to look at that?" he
asked, sternly. Certainly" remarked
the umbrella carrier. II was just TAX
ing it to the police station. 1t was
left in my house last night by q bur-
glar whom we frightened of. I hope
it will prove 6rstrate clew." And
though the exasperated owner could
plainly see where his name had boon
scratched of the handle, he at down 81
changed the subject