The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1881-05-05
The Deadly Breech.
DrOvenlont

On the banks of the Father of Waters
there recently dweit a youth to fortune
and to fame unknown" but like Young
Lochinvar he came "out of the west,
aud lie brought up at Philadelphia. Yet
unlike Lochinvar, he did not ride "au
unarmed," for he brought with him
curiously wrought muzzle for a cannon.
Reaching the checkerboard of brotherly
love. he waited upon John Roach, whom
the Vox readers know as the great steam
ship builder, who can carry away such
gross weight of government funds for
each ton of coal consumed. Says the
young wolverine:
"See here Roach! You have made
some right smart crafts. Suppose you
now make the best cannon in the world,
and so get more famous, like krupp and
Armstrong; Now make the rest of this
gun for me, and we will go shares, and
makea noise in the world
Roach being assured that the young
man had money behind him, went on
and finished the cannon. The inventor
then got from Mayor Stokely permit
to try his gum so on one OF the closing
days of January, he with Roach and q
few friends, had the piece hauled down
near the river, just after dark, and then
getting behind bank they fred her by
pulling fish line. The Vox cores
pondent interviewed one of the work.
men, and gathered the facts as fol-
lows:
"You see, mister, the fellow told the
boss they'd make noise in theworld,'
and you can just bet they did, but they
never will again--net with that gun. A
success! Well, yes, you may say so, III
one sense. If you could go to war with
such guns and contrive to lose EN- to the
enemy, and the enemy should try to fire
'em at you, pretty soon there wouldn't
be any enemy left.
1.-The muzzle lit out into the river, and
so that was safely cared for, but the
new breech just went round promiscu-
ously. A 45.pound piece smashed through
Mrs. Gosser's house, 39S east Sth street;
a 17-pound piece Just skinled off half
the roof of Van Pelt's saw mill east
10th street, and then it drove down the
sky-light and killed Jimmy Armstrong;
dog that was fetching up litter OF sew
en- elegant fighting pups who'll die now /;
and then another piece took down the
10th street ferry way, knocking over the
little caboose where the fell
low takes the money, and
throwing it top of Mr.. Louis Coutrie,
him as almost ran for the Assembly a
while ago: then the bang shook up the
little telegraph office, breaking the win
dows and throwing the telegraph girl
off her stool backwards, and putting out
all the gas far and near, while lot of
small pieces just peppered the stern OF
the ferry boat, North Side, beside knock
ing over the car-starter, and smashing q
great lump of the lannon's stern half
through the driveway of the ferry. Still,
nobody was seriously hurt, except the
dog"
The owner of the maternal canine had
refused $50 for her, and the pups were
almost above price; Mrs. Grosser has q
house the sanitarians would recommend
| to other people, on accoun: of the thor
ough ventilation; and these sufferers
ioin with Van PETIT in wanting to know
who pays the damage. The frightened
inventor went back in the West by ex-
press as soon as he saw the mischief done
by s'the deadly breech' of his gun, and
Roach says he doesn't know his address,
nor that of the moon-eyed man behind
him. Roach disclaims all responsibility
and says he was merely employed to
make the breech of the gun as piece Of
job work, and that he received nothing
for it. So he shrewdly joins the cry of
"Who is to pay the bills?" Mr.. Coutrie
hasn't been heard from. The telegraph
girl says: "Oh. that horrid being, is it
that YOU want to know about? Well, it
was perfectly dreadful" And such was
the way our Young Lochniver made "a
noise In the world. - Vox Popuh.
The Greenfield Republican dedicates
the following to disappointed office
seekers: