The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1881-04-12

4 Humorous V1oW or some OF the
Hardships Which They 1mpcse
on the Older Members Of the
Race.
Kansas City Evening Star.
The baby! Two very abort wor3s
and yet how full Of import to those Of
~ who made our advent into the
world 1t periods more or lee remote.
aud who have already begun to play
the parts which chance or necessity
may have assigned u in the grea,
drama Of life! What . little world.
with al its sunshine aud shadow. rise.
before the minds eye 1t the mention
of those two very modest words
That the sensations which they pro-
duce and the thoughts they suggest
should not slwsys he If The most
pleas4n, and sgreeab!. .'.arscter. is &
sad commentary upon state o!
society which il % exacting 10 Ifs
demands upon the physical and menta!
powers of its individual members. as,
ia no sny cases. to whvliy obli.srate sIi
that Is smisbie and sweet 10 human
character. There are occs-ions-we
are almet ashamed to admi, i,-when,
weary with the cares and snxieties Of
business. even those 1t US WHO profrs-
the most extnvsgant love fox the
dear creatures. secretly wish tina,
somsthing could be dune to curtai! the
seemingly endless variety 10 the little
innucenis. and secure little more
uniformity to some particular pattern.
Here is . promi-ing field for the
scirntist or The Inventors genius. for
whoever shall pr"pase plan ny which
such . result shall be successfully &C
complished. will not only receive the
profound homage Of . grateful world.
but will max. tor himself . nsme.
which will live when those Of king.
and princes and the great generals oi
the world have passed. uut Of memory.
Such an improvement ia our babies
wauld remove Quo great obstacle 10
human happiness; and many q poor.
disbeartened mortal, Inspired with
new hope. would renew the struggle
with . more cheerful heart.
However much We NAV love the
little dAriines. We shall be compelled
70 MAKE the further admission that.
were It not fDr them. one Of the most
painful and, in 10 intimate relation to
the general welfare Of the individual.
"ne If the most vital questions. which
tie older portion of mankind 10 ca;I<d
upon to decide. ~ould have no exist
once. No one who hae had any ex.
perience with babies-and that person.
10 to te pitied who has not-wiil need
to be told that We refer To the harbsr-
Gus custom which, on the advent If
everv new baby into the community.
requires that each particular member
Of that community shall. rs soan
thereafter ~ may be-. aid ia the
presence Of certain witnesses. make .
personal investigation into the r..
spective merits and supposed charms
Of said baby. ard repnrt the result If
his or her lahore forthwith to the
friends and relatives. taking good
care at the same time 10 comply with
thsi other decree which requires that
the report shall bs cnuched ip term.
somewhat after the style of patent
medicine testimonials. Il must have
occurred to macy, while in the con-
scienlicus discharge Of this important
duty, that much IF the labor il entails
and many Of tie dangers which attend
il. are direc,ly tracesbIe to the great
multiplicity of types under which tie
babies are in the habit of presenting
their c!sims to the world. Notwith-
standing this uneeemly conduct on
the part of the babies. for the Cur
recti n Of which it is to be bcped
some means NAV be discovered in the
near future; and Notwithstanding the
fact that We are summoned with great
frequency to the di-chArgs Of these
delicate duties. ~hich arc no slight
tax % nerves already overwrought by
the more practical cancerns IF lite no
murmur If complaint would ever he
heard from any friend of the baby.
were il not Tor The hardness Of some
If the conditions. under which fbeee
fes's are to be performed.
Under the mnst favorable epndi-
tions. the amount Of time and mental
force expanded in deciding the relative
merits 1t single generation of bsbie..
would Be quite appalling, and would,
if more practically employed. make q
very paradise out os our deform-d and
sinful world. When. therefore. it is
proPnsed that these srduous aud ex-
hau-tive isbors shall be performed M
der hareh and cru'l conditions. We
feel compelled. 10 the name Of suffer
ing humanity, tn enter Q mill protest
The most unreasonable and oppressive
Of these conditions, aud tho one which
has probably been more Elective than
any other in making these little ir.
vestigatious dreaded hv the brarest O.
%. u that which directs that they
shall take place in the presence Of
certain witnesses. one of whom. Al
least. common prudence and comuou
senee would alike exclude. IL II the
peculiar relation OF this individual "a
the little candidate whose claims arr
70 be paseed upon, which causes the
average mortal to shrink from the
Performance Of these duties, and even
10 regard them With feelings akin t.
terror. A. = direc. consequence oil
this cruel condition. . great moral
problem 10 dragged 10. and . mos,
serious and important question still
further complicated This new
problem may be briefly stated in tn.
following ~orde: lin whst proper