Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1881-06-10
Women for rhysigians.

( this subject very exhaustive cCnsid
Grafton, judging from ;hc fo'lowin
4c'u>.ont, which Sis '.'q sradua.
Ion Of a l:ona.r. Il .4:., PHYSICIAN
~ Il =. L.4i i..i;r:l c,l.c e rer-
,lcrs oYro:o"c:
In the il; n..', II lazy doctor
anybody i, n:u.t lsea wcn,an. and
threefou;,'a q tpe vu,nou wuuld
rather have /, nala ooa.vr Sup.
pose Those COLLEGES ;urn out female
doctors uni! there are rs many OF
them as male doctors, what have they
got 10 practice on? \ man, if thelc
was rothing the matter with BIN,
might call i'll = female doctor, but
if lie was sick as horse (f man is
sick he is as sick as Il horse), The
last thing he would have around
would be female doctor. And
why? Because, when q man has ia
female fuinJiing around HIM he
wants 10 feel we'll. He don't wan
to be bilious or feverish, with his
mouth tasting like cheese, ana his
eyes bloodshot, when the female is
looking him over and taking account
of his stock.
OF course these female doctors are
all young and good looking, and il
one Of them came into sick room
where man was in bed, and he
had chills, and was as cold as a
wedge, and she would sit up close
10 the side of the bed aud take hold
of his hand, his pulse would run up
to a hundred and fifty, and she
would prescribe for fever when he
had chilblains. Oh, you can't fool
us on female doctors. A man who
has been sick and had male doctors,
knows just how he would feel to have
female doctor come tripping in and
throw her furlined cloak over q chair,
take elf her bat and gloves and throw
them on the lounge, and come up to
the bed with pair OF marine blue
eyes, with twinkle in the corner.
and look him in the wild, chaEgeable
eyes, aud ask him to run out his
tongue. Suppose he knew his tongue
was coated so it looked like q yellow
Turkish towel, do you suppose he
would want TO run out over five or
six inches of the lower part of it and
let that female doctor put her finger
on it to see how furry it was? Not
much. He would put that tongue
up into his cheek, and would not let
her see it for % cents admission.
We have all seen doctors put their
hands under the bed clothes and
feel of mans feet to see If they
were cola. If a female doctor would
do that it would give Il man cramps
in the legs. y male doctor can put
his hand on q mans stomach, and
liver and lungs and ask him if he
feels any pain there, but if female
doctor should do the same thing it
would make II man sick, and he
would want to get up and kick HIM
self for employing female doctor.
On, there is no use talking, it would
kill man.
Now, suppose a man has heart di-
ease and Il female doctor should
want TO listen to the beating Of his
heart. She would lay her left ear
on his breast, SO her eyes and rose
bud mouth would be looking right in
his face, and her wavy hair would
be scattered all around there, get
ting tangled in the buttons of his
night shirt. Dent you suppose his
heart would get in about twenty eX-
ira beats to the minute ? You bet .
And she would smile-we will bet
ten dollars she would smile-and
show her pearly teeth, and the ripe
lips would he working as though she
were counting the beats, and he was
thinking She was trying to whisper
to him, and Well, what would he
be doing all this time? If lie was
not dead yet, which would be II
wonder, his left hal.d would brush
the hair from her left temple and
kind OF stay there to keep the hair
away, and his right hand would get
sort of nervous and move around to
the back of her head, and wher
size had counted the beats few
minutes and was raising her head he
would dra" the head up to him and
kiss her once for luck, if he was as
bilious as Jersey swamp angel
and have her charge it i'll the bill
And then a reaction would set in and
he would lie as weak as a cat, and
she would have to fan him and rub
his head until he got over being ner-
vouS, and than make out his prescrip-
ton after he got asleep. No; all of
4 mans symptoms change wh' Il a
female doctor is practicing on him,
and she would kill him dead.
TIE Coi'nJju Chton,cic reports the
loss of twenty five acres Of grain by
farmer in that county by cloud
Of crickcts, which moved on in solid