Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1881-07-28

f0r his reason lie Itpilcu tilal Iie oiu Lol
ike skim milk.
Mrs. Geusral Sherman says that,
during thirty-one years of married life,
her husband has never stayed out later
than II o'clock at night.
4 Georgia editor says: 'Gold is
found in thirty-six counties in this state,
silver in three, copper in thirteen, iron
in forty three, diamonds in twenty-six,
whisky in all of them, and the last gets
away with all the rest"
They were at dinner party, and he
remarked that he supposed she was
fond of ethnology. She said she was,
but she was not very well, and the doc
tor had told her not to eat anything for
dessert but oranges.
In court in Ottawa, Canada, wit
ness stoutly refused to be sworn on the
King James version and insisted on
using the revised New Testament. The
magistrate humored his within and let
him swear as he desired.
Vassar has one smart girl who will
in the hereafter be heard OF in WON,
an's rights societies. She described
straw" as being hollow thing with a
ten cent man on one end and twenty
cent drink on the other.
In North Carolina Sunday school
an iplperfectly educated colored person
was asked how the Israelites expressed
their Joy after having crossed the Red
Sea. He replied 81 reckon dey shot
off de big guns and hollered." The
rest of the imperfectly educated color
led persons nodded assent to this doc
urine.
He sat on the sofa each evening,
With smile on his sickly phiz
He talked upon all sorts of subjects
But somehow he didn't talk biz.
-Hsiden Recorder.
The winds were whispering low ard
the sentinel stars had set their watch
in the sky as she leaned from her
chamber window and tenderly asked:
= rs that you, Henry?" "Coursh 'tiz.
Pretty oman, dozen knower own hus-
band when sh' seezim."
Mount Desert has strange woman
from the wilds Of Boston, whose bust
ness it is to tell fortunes for financial
consideration. To people Of her native
town she says "You are full of cul
ture; you want the worlds fair in your
village you are literary in your tastes,
and you just dote on baked BEANS"
A millionaire who was looking at
level tract of land which he had just
bought at an extravagant price, said to
the agent who had sold it to him 81
do admire rich green flat. so do /, )"
4 significantly replied the agent.
Mark Trenton, drunken employee
of Sells circus, thrust his arm into the
Bengal tigers cage at Bellaire, Ohio, re-
Gently, lust to show how tame the beast
was, and the experiment was nearly as
successful as if he had run it into a
planning machine.
The President recently asked to see
a newspaper. Colonel Rockwell said
they were all being saved for him
What, all of them, Rockwell?' he
asked. eyes, all. !" Perhaps it wouldn't
be best for me to get WE'LL" sadly re-
marked the President.
What's the difference, tell me Mary,
'Twixt cyclone and a muel ?"
And the maiden Toaned and murmured:
Such conupdrums were too cruel
This" said he is the solution
Quite correct dear, you viii find it
One drives everything before it,
Ore let's drive OF sll behind il
a beyy of girls and their beaux,
But whom will not now disclose
4 Asked little chap--not Stupid,
What he knew about Cupid;
And they could have died,
As thus he replied
He's a baby wisout emmy close !"
A man allied out to his creditor,
Get out, you ornithorhyncus" The
man departed meekly. "Whose that ~
inquired a friend of the speaker. can
onithorhyncus" "How's that? ?"
We'll, Webster defines him as beast
with a BILL ,"
While Brother Jonathan was in town
on,the Fourth he took a ride on the
street cars. Observing that the con.
ductor gave one of the passengers q
check Jonathan, on handing out his
TX cents, remarked: Give me a re-
:elpt too, Mr.. Conductor, or the darned
lools up home won't believe l really
had horse car ride. Boston Herald.
A promising youth recently surprised
M ms father by asking: Father, do you
iike mother?" "Why, yes, of course"
And she likes you?" "Of course she
does. Did she ever say so?" "Many
a time, my son." did she marry you
because she loved your" Certainly
she nd The boy carefully scrutinized
ms parent and, after a long pause ask
ca; We'll, was she as near-sighted
then as she is now"
lrAIY VISITORS af the White House