The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1881-12-06
Pass Those Nolasass.

Main Hotel boardiug-house the other
day, and lhc crowd that besiegcd the
door was more than twice Its usual
Size, aud when the bell rang and the
portals were thrown open the table
was lull in less than no time. Side
| by side sat two model types OF Amer.
lean civilization. One was a middle.
sged man of medium height, florid
complexion, shaggy beard, unkempl
hnir, unlidy clotliing and disgusting
linen, with the odors aud disgusting n
manners of the rural districts cling
ing TO him like last years hair to a
colt. Al his left sat- tall, younQisll
looking man, encased in blue fan-
mel shirt with rolling collar, white
corduroy trousers tucked into pair
OF high boots, q leathern belt around
his waist, slender, wildly beautiful
mOustache and raven locks that curled
down his manly neck and slrayed
about his expansive shoulders with
all the native grace and freedom OF
tho mines Of some Western FL Dora
lido. The armer turned up his plate,
aud with his fork made wild planee
to wards plate ofrosst beef directly
across the miners layout. That indi-
vidual turned his head MS II In sur
prise and regarded the man who had
disturbed his equauimity as If he was
a specimen OF some hitherto un-
mounted cat. The granger was not
in the least nonplussed, but contin-
ued to reach right and left, inlers-
persing his franti, dashes with spas
modic attempts at getting something
into his mouth. The miner silently
sat aud looked at him until, having
piled his plate full, the relentless
forager settled down to hard work
with his knife and fork. Encouraged
by the unwonted calm the miner be-
gan TO provide for his own wants,
and in the quictest manner possible
had secured acup Of coffee, a bit OF
meat aud few trifling accesspries,
when. the hungry man beside him
broke loose again. lIc made wild
break for the mustard, and KNOCKED
the stopper Of the vinegar cruct into
the hash as lie did so, then shovelcd a
cougloIneralion Of stuff from that
dish, in the midst whereof was the
stopper. The miner stopped and
looked agaiu, then resumed his eating
silently as before.
"Pass the butter?' interrogated the
rustic, nudging tho silent man in tho
elbow and causing him 10 spill half a
cup Of coffee into his potatoes.
The miner did as requested, and
then dropped his knife and fork to
set the dish back. The farmer did
not know or notice the look of unut-
tered questioning in the eyes of his
servitor, and without losing revo.
luton stabbed twelve ounce sweet
potato halfway down the table and
reached across the miners pie with
the other arm toward a plate Of
bread. The pie was quietly with.
draw and placed on the other side
Of the owners plate, and another at
tempt to snatch bite was made, but
before he could succeed the devourer
had laid himself down along the
table and extended his left arm about
eighteen inches beyond its natural
length toward dish Of sliced toma.
toes. The shot was successful, but
the martyrs coffee inundated the ta-
BILE and deluged the owners boots
with the salty vinegar dripped from
seven slices of tomato across his
plate. The miner rose half way, then
sopped his napkin into the mesa aud
tried 10 wipe off mis- breechcs, while
the waiter walked away with his
plate and the agricultural ate stead
lily on The miner Looked the picture
of despair aud pushed his chair back
from the table in discouragement too
utterly utter, and gazed in speechloss
sadness upon the scene of desolation
before him. ~
The farmer leaned over once more,
and jamning his elbows into the vic.
Tins ribs, calculated between the mo.
tions Of his grinders, "Pass those mo-
lasses."
The miner sprang to his feet
grabbed the molasscs cup in one hand
and the thickly blooming locks OF the
tormentor in the other, and danced
around like mad man, while the
other boarders who had been await.
lug the outbreak huddled In q panic.
stricken group at the other end OF the
room.
; "Want those molssses do you p
aud the avenger dumped his subjec,
upon the fiat of his hack and knol
upon his proslrate form.
"You ought'er have them. I'm
willin TO forgive man for keepin
inc passin' grub 10 him clar lhrougl
q meal, an Pm glad to be of any scr
vice to himI can in this way, an
don't care a red cent for amybod,
that's a gentleman layin' down acros
my plate an' reschin for somoihin
over in Tho next county nuther do
5 greatly take offense at any Christian
. for accidentally upsettin' my drink
nor steppin' on my toes, but by tn
gods, livin' or dead, when q man 10
/, Gates q grub stake claim right .quar
: on top O. me, aud then uses sue
+. language toward me as those molss
! ses,' he's agoin' TO meet his fate now
, you bet"
Q Tho miner turned around an
8 seized the molasses jug, and holdin
1 1t over the face ofthe sacrifice, pourc
9 it's contents down into his mouth an
ears and eyes, and then saturated h
coat and tlled his collar. Then Ri
ing, he snati he'd up his bros
Y slouched hat and fed to the hill
= The man lie mounted don't seem
y haye any appetite any more, and sint
y the tragedy he hasn't been outside b
: house and the miner has never r.
. turned. Burlington Ilawkeye.
AZ 49,