davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Evening critic., 1881-11-07

In 0vcrhauling the old papers and docu
ments of former Congresses ON file in the
Clerks Office of the House of Representa-
tives the officers have found an old hair.
covered trunk, studded with brass tacks
and filled with time-stained papers and
letters. The papers relate principally tC
the claims Of Benjamin Wills, of Pcnnsyl
vania, for fines due for collecting the revc
nue. as far back rs 1877. His petition re-
mnine1 before Congress from i797 to 1888
being presented during the Fifth Congress
1t appears that tho last effort he made was
during the last session of the Twenty.sec
ond Congress. There is no evidence that
he ever succeeded in getting Congress to
pay him q cent
1t appears that Mr.. Wills was revenue
collector for the Eastern district of Pcnnsyl:
yania, and Under the law was entitled to d
moiety for information furnished against
violators of the revenue laws of the United
States. In his petition filed before the
Fifth Congress he says that he gave in.
formation of several enemies or possessors Of
stills for neglect to make entry thereof, the
the penalty being $3.50 for each Offensc and
half thereof to the informcr. Upon this in
formation suits were brought, and in most
Of them Judgments were obtained. The
forfeitures, it appears from the papers, were
ichittSu W tuc iIcSiucuJ VI tuc OHitctl
States"
Hence the petition of Mr.. Wills to Con-
gress for relief. The trunk is 22 inches
long, s inches deep and 12 inches wide the
tray, or lid, is oval apd bears the initials
,"B. W. The trunk is full of papers, all
bearing on his claim. He claims thatowing
to the remittance by the fines and forfeit
ures he lost two years employment.
He says that he incurred great expense
in procuring witnesses and attending the
Federal Court in 1905 on the trail of the
insurgents at Philadelphia; that he
had two hundred dollars of the public
money stolen that he was at considerable
expense and loss of time in taking the
accounts of Fayctte, Westmorcland and
Somerset colinties for settlement to the
commissioners of the revenue by order of
Inspector Nevill. The trunk and its
contents are now and have been in the
Capitol Building for years, and, but for the
curiosity of Mr. Adam Reisinger, one of the
clerks, would probably, remained for many
years longer, unnoticed, stored away in the
garrett; as itwas, many of the papers We're
cut to pieces by the moth,
The Evening critic., 1881-11-07
burning OF Graveyard Insurance
Policies.

A novel event is to take place in Doug
lassvillc, Berks county, Pa. OH the 18th
inst. A large number Of persons who were
dupcd into purchasing and taking out poll
cies in graveyard insurance companies have
become tired of paying the exorbtant and
very frequent assessments, and have deter
mined to come together, form a parade
headed by a band Of music, and burn their
policies, very much after the fashion of
college fratcrnities, This affair promises to
draw quite large crowd The graveyard
business has greatly fallen off in this Sec
ton of the State, and many agents report
that no business whatever is being brought
in. and with the exception of a few trans
fers and assignments, there is nothing do
Jag. The receipts are not sufficient to pay
office rent, and the Indications are that
many agents will soon desert the business
and get into other callings.
The Evening critic., 1881-11-07

Chr0ococeus chalybeus and arthrodesi-
mus convergnes are in the water, SO look
out for yourself.-Boston Globe.
A short meter wedding--A young cler.
gyman in Iowa recently married couple
in the following brief manner: "Do you
want one another ?" Both replied yes
"Well, then, have one another.
The law does not license the use of the
bludgeon, or the murderer's knife, but ii
does license the sale of that which provokes
their use nine cases in every ten.-Iter-
Ocean.
Mrs Darlington told Bemus, in conf
dence, that young man had committed
infanticide by blowing his brains up in a
state of delirium tremendous, and the cor
oner was holding conquest over his re-
mains.
Visitors returning from Yorktown say
MS they dig the sand out of their eyes
swell, old CORVALLIS has got oven with
u.s."
Mighty few of us great men will be re-
membered or spoken of one week after the
doctors and undertaker's bills have beer
paid.
Two eX-Confederates fired four shots al
each other without doing any particular
damage, yet some people can't understand
why the Northern troops put down the late
rebellion. Even the members Of the Cor
nell crew or Sergeant Mason eau do better
shooting than that.-0N city Derrick.
The woman question-To hoop or not t.
hoop.
The Evening critic., 1881-11-07
A Beast who should be I.ynchc,,.

In the Police Court to-day, Justic,
Schmidt, alias Augustus Smith, alias q. w
and Joseph w. Smith, was arraigned, and
pleaded not guilty to the charge of Grim.
inally assaulting and attempting to out
rage Mary c. Myers, pretty little white
girl. The testimony showed that Mary, O
child just nine years of age, was. at the
Arsenal yesterday afternoon about three
o'clock, and was left alone with baby in
her arms for about twenty minutes, when
she ran into one of the barracks crying, and
was met by Barbara Blake, who testified
that at this time the child's clothing was
disarranged, and Schmidt was attempting
to make his escape. Mrs. Blake ordered a
guard to arrest Schmidt. Judge Smell said
that the case must 60 to the grand jury
and Schmidt was committed in default Of
1000 bonds. Schmidt is book agent by
occupation, although recently he has been
out of employment and living the life of a
tramp.
The Evening critic., 1881-11-07
what VIII the Future he ?

Richard Gems and Susie jackson.
William II. Fister and Mary A, Melon
aid,
James Williams, of Baltimore, Md, and
Ella West, of this city
Peter Conner and Maggie Roche
Jas. II. Henderson, of Baltimore, Md, and
Mary M. Morgan, of this city.
Ambrose f. Fenley, Of Wythe County,
England
l.. Reinby, of Philadelphia, Pa and AM
ME Faunce, of this city.
Thos, w. Wedmeyer and Maggie II. hurry,
both of Washington County, Md.
The Evening critic., 1881-11-07
irYou MonId Make $50

without any trouble read the advertisement
of Mr.. +. II. Finley, in another column.
This is the last week in which to send in a
name for the new brand of cigars. 1t will
cost you but one cent for postal card on
which to write the namo ycr select, and
any one else's. Don't delay, but send in
VOur name.
The Evening critic., 1881-11-07
M.silenu,s Witnesses.

On Saturday, in Boston, deputy United
States marshal summoned the following
gentlemen to testify in behalf of Guiteau /
Rev. |. N. Tarbox, secretary Of the Ameri-
can Educational Society Rev. Howard G..
Durham, secretary Of the American Peace
Society Rev. John l.. Withrow, pastor of
the Park street Church, and John w. Gut
teau, brother of the prisoner.
The Evening critic., 1881-11-07

DIR. Bliss, it is reported, rates the value
of his services to the late President at $685.
600. A friend of the Garfelds is quoted by
a correspondent of the Philadelphia Press
rs saying that ut Elberon few days before
he was shot the President said to DIR. Boyn-
ton, who had been treating Mrs. Garfield
during her dangerous illness; "Silas you
have rendered me service which i can
never repay. l lam not going to ask you fol
the amount of your bill, but / am going to
have my own way in this matter and insist
that you accept this check" 1t was filled
out for a sum not to be counted by hun
dreds. "You have had your own way
James," replied DR.. Boynton 'now l will
have minc ! shall not accept cent Of
this money. am only too happy to have
been of service to you and yours" The
President told this story to the gentleman
who relates 1t while riding to the Soldiers
Home near Washington. His eldest son
Henry sat on the front seat Of the carriage
Turning to him the President said
Harry, want you to remember your
Uncle Silas as long as you live
The Evening critic., 1881-11-07
How He Got In.
Little Rock Gazette.

Little Rock Gazette
The other night a young man from
northern Arkansas and young lady from
the southern part of the State, met ct {
hotel in this city and were married. Aftel
the ceremony the young man went out
and sat in front of the hotel while his wife
went up to the room assigned as the brida
chamber.
"This thing of gettin' married is lifi
time business" he said, addressing mar
who had fust been divorced from his wife
81 reckon you have found it so," he added
turning to single man. "Wall, reckon
I'll go UP. Dinsed il don't sorter hat,
to go up thar, too. But never was Altered
of man, an don't see why / should bt
Altered of q woman"
He went up and raped at the door.
"Whos there ?" demanded the girl.
Its me ?"
"Who's mc?'
Don't you recognize my talk, honey p
mo, don't"
Its your own wide awake and Twin
husband. Let me in"
"Go away from that door; you shan't
come in here. l amt got acquainted with
you yet"
"Say, let me in. Them fellers down
stairs are laughin' at me. Open the door
Iur I'm sleepy ana ne yawneu ike
man waiting for night train.
Thought you said that you were. wide
wake"
81 was while ago, but I'm powerful
sleepy now. Amt you going to open thi.
door ?"
mo, l amt"
why did you marry me?'
"Cause i wanted to-
"Wall, why don't you let me in"
"Cause don't want to-
"All right, old gal: I'll shell out fui
home and leave you to pay the hotel bill
never seed the woman that could pull
the wool over my eyes,"
The latch clicked and the door opened
The hotel bill had frightened her. ut
won't do fur woman to buck agin me,
lcmmy tell you, fur was raised at the
croos- roads an went to the mill carly"
The Evening critic., 1881-11-07

In THE CASE of The United States against
Charles J. Guiteau indicted for the murder
Of James A. Garfield the Court has made an
order granting TWEEN W more witnesses to be
summoned for the defendant at the expense
OF the Government. This makes forty wit
nesses summoned thus far for the defendant
at the expense of the United States.
The Evening critic., 1881-11-07
THE EVENING CRITIC.

cSTA DLTSHED AUGUST Ia6s

The special bulletin issued from the
Signal Office to-day says:
The indications are that rain will
prevail in New England tomorrow. Also,
that slightly warmer partly cloudy weather,
with local rains, will prevail In the South
Atlantic and Middle States during Tues
div
The Evening critic., 1881-11-07

Fifty styles to select from. Over seven
hundred in stock by actual count. Prices
from So to $50. Sizes, 30 to so inches.
breast measure. A. Saks & Co., strictly
Ono-price Clothiers, 3l6 and 3js Tth ST.
The Evening critic., 1881-11-07

SECRETARY KIRKwooD was ut his Office
only a short time to-day, as he is busily en-
gagged on his report, and finds II easier to
work 1T homie.
The Evening critic., 1881-11-07

Marie Colombier, the fat actress of Sarah
Bernhardts company, has published in
Paris book on her American tour. She
abuses this country in the main, and makes
amusing blunders, but admits that we have
a higher regard for public decency than is
common in France.
The Evening critic., 1881-11-07
FINANCIAL.
TO.dlay's Stock Quotations.

The following observations of the trans.
actions in the financial market to-day, to.
gether with opening and closing quotations,
are furnished by the banking house of II.
ID. Cooke, Jr.. & Co., 1929 street, Washing.
ton DC.
The Evening critic., 1881-11-07

THE absence from the city of the Presi
dent and the rainy weather conspirc tc
make things quito dull at tho temporary
residence of the President.
The Evening critic., 1881-11-07

IT IS MORE than probable that the Post
Office Department will suggest larger esti-
mate in the appropriation of bookbinding
The present amount is $4,000. or
The Evening critic., 1881-11-07

CAPT. GEORGE A. PARINGToN, Ninth
Cavalry, has been assigned to the charge OF
the recruiting rendezvous in this city.
The Evening critic., 1881-11-07
THE DEPARTMENTS.

CHIEF CLERK HoGG Of the Navy De-
partmcnt, has returned from Philadel-
phia.
The Evening critic., 1881-11-07

The New York Tribune always kicks .
man when he is down. 1t says: "Mr.
Tyner need waste no breath in defending
himself. The will go home and be .qHiet
the public will be grateful
The Evening critic., 1881-11-07

Collars and cuffs, Troy style, the best
Work in the city. Ira Godfrey, jr. Swiss
laundry, 1922 + street.
The Evening critic., 1881-11-07

FIFTY recruits have been ordered to Fort
Omaha, Ncb, and eighty to San Antonio
The Evening critic., 1881-11-07

GOVERNMENT RECEIPTS TO-DAY: In.
ternal revenue, 71711760.5s customs, $685.
| -f1o1
The Evening critic., 1881-11-07

THE following postmastcrs were commits
stoned to-day Henry A.. Griswold, Ana
costa, Washington, y. c., and Mrs. Susan
Moss, Sand Run, Upshur County, w. Va.
The Evening critic., 1881-11-07
The iaighest Cash Prices Paia

FOR dresses and gents clothing, watches,
leweiry, ETC. Call on or address Herzog, 3O8
Ninth street, near Pennsylvania ave.
The Evening critic., 1881-11-07
District Government Notes.

Major Brock has been granted weeks
absence, commencing to-day.
John Dugan and brothers have received
q permit to build dwelling on the Conduit
road, at an expense of $3.50.
The Evening critic., 1881-11-07

f. NJ. FINCH, brother of the genial
Ferris Finch, file clerk of the House of
Representatives. is a candidate OH the Re-
publican ticket in New York for Judge of
the Court of Appeals,
The Evening critic., 1881-11-07
MINING STOCKS.

The field of honnah in Virginia Is not
the field Of goah
The Evening critic., 1881-11-07

Origin of the name Massachusetts, -
"Afy Young colored friend, what's all that
tobacco for?" "Why, sab, Mass'r chews
it,"
The Evening critic., 1881-11-07

LIEUT.. A. L. WAGNER, Sixth Infantry,
his been detailed as professor of military
science and tactics at the Louisiana State
University and Mechanical and Agricul-
tural College at Baton Rouge.
The Evening critic., 1881-11-07

The PRESIDENT will return from New
York Thursday night or Friday morning.
He will take possession of the White House
as soon as the repairs in progress arc COM
pleted, which will be about the LIST of De-
ccmhcr
The Evening critic., 1881-11-07

REAR-ADMIRAL HOWELL was assigned to
duty on the naval examining board and not
on the naval advisory board, as has been
enormously stated. The vacancy on the
latter board, caused by the death of Lieut..
Ccl1ins stjll exists,
The Evening critic., 1881-11-07

THE Naval Institute, of which Rear Ad-
miral G. X. =. Rodgers:.. is: president, and
Lieut.. Chas. BellSnap secretary, offers as a
prize 500 and gold medal for the best es-
say for the year 1882. The subject selected
for the prize essay is Our Merchant Ma
rine; the Causes of its Decline and the
Means to be Taken for its Revival
The Evening critic., 1881-11-07

REwARDING MISUNDERSTANDING Hunt
commends in general order the gallant con-
duct of Cadet Midshipman John b. Ber-
nadon, and of ordinary seaman Robert
of a seaman of that vessel, and medal of
honor Is ordered to be given to Sweeny.
The Evening critic., 1881-11-07

THE report of Revenue Agent Chapman,
detailed by Commissioner Raum to investi-
gate the circumstances OF the killing of A..
J. Lane, formerly special deputy collector in
the Second Georgia District, near Huntsville,
Ala, discloses the fact that Lane was not
killed because of his former connection
with the internal revenue service.
The Evening critic., 1881-11-07

THE ENGLISH MINIsTER-Hon. Lionel
s. Sackville, West, the new British Minis
ter, arrived quietly in the city Saturday
evening and took possession of the legation
building. Mrs. Victor Drummond, bride of
the first secretary of tho British legation, is
to preside, so it is said, for the present at
the entertainments to be given by the new
minister.
The Evening critic., 1881-11-07

ATTORNEY. GENERAL MAcVEAGu has
given an opinion that civil engineers in the
naval service mustbc regarded as staff
corps of the navy, and are not merely
civil officers connected with the navy" He
is also of the opinion that civil engineers in
the naval service may be retired hereunder
from active service and placed on the retired
list of the navy
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1881-07-16
How to spoil a Husband.

Vow vengeance on all his relations.
Pay no ottention to household ex-
penses.
Make a fuss about cigar smoke in the
house.
Give as much as he can earn In month
for q new bonnet
Tell him as plainly as possible you
married him for living.
Raise row if he dares to bow politely
to lady friend
Tell him the children inherit all their
mean traits of character from his side of
the family.
Keep the parlor for company and don't
let him put his foot in it,
Provide any sort of picked up meal
for him when you don't expect strangers.
Get everything the woman next door
gets whether you can afford it OF not
Get some art-work on the brain and let
the servants run the house their own
way.
Let it out sometime when you are quite
mad that you wished you had married
some other fellow you used to go with
When he gives you ten dollars to lay
aside for ''sore foot" give il to the first
peddler that comes along for pair of ten
cent plaster of Paris vases.
Give him to understand as soon as pos
sible after the honeymoon that kissing is
well enough for spooney lovers, but that
for married folks it is cOnfoundedly silly.
If he takes to kissing the cook or cham
bermaid after that don't be too hard on
him.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1881-07-16
CoNKLING INDIFFERENT
Little Johnny ON Dogs.
from the San Francisco Wasp.


One day feller bot dog of man
in the market, and the dog he was bitter.
After it had bit the feller four or five
time he threw closeline over its neck
and led it back to the dogman in the mar
ket and he said to the dOgman, the feller
did, says he: "Old man, didn't you used
to have this dogi" The dogman he jest
luked at the dog and then he thot for
while, and then he sed: "Well, yes; L
had him about half of the time and the
other half he had me-" Then the feller
he was fewrious mad, and he sed: "Wot
did you sell me sech dog as thisn for?'
And the old man he spoke up and he sed;
"For four dollars and seventy-f five cents
loffle money" Then the feller he gessed
he'd go home if the dog wus willing.
Uncle Ned, which has been in Indy and
everywheres, he says the Mexican dogs
they don't have no hair ON 'em. Dogs
they houl loudern cats, but cats is more
purry and can wok on top of a fence and
blow up their tales like bloom wen they
want to SDit
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1881-07-16
CROP REPORTS.
July Report of the Agricultural Depart
ment-The Three Great Staples More or
Less Injured by Cold and Wet and In

July Report of the Agricultural Depart
ment-The Three Great Staples More or
Less Injured by Cold and Wet and In
sects.
WASHINGTON, July 15.-Returns to the
Agricultural department, July 1st
Cotton Reports show an increase in
the condition OF cotton since the report
for June. The average condition is 95
against 100 at the same time last year.
The plant is generally reported small and
ten days late. That and too dry weather
is almost universally noted, but except in
southern and western Texas little injury
is reported. Alabama and Georgia each
report better condition than last year,
while Texas and Arkansas are lower In
sect injury is seldom mentioned.
characterization of the wheat crop,
as reported July l, is much better than
June l, and averages SO for the whole
country. The Atlantic States fall off
slightly as compared with the returns for
the same time last year, but the large
and west of the Mississippi, returns low
conditions compared with 1880. Michigan
reports only Ga per cent. and Illinois CO.
Ohio and Indiana were below last year,
but report fair prospect Missouri and
Kansas make great complaint Of damage
from insects. In the spring wheat the
state of Iowa alone returns q condition
much lower than last year, and wheat is
only 72.
CsRN-The increase area planted
in corn is nearly two per
cent over 1880. The average
condition Of the crop is not, so high as
last year, and is ninety against one hun
dred last year. In all North Atlantic
States the crop is bacward, owing to the
cold and wet spring, but in States south
of the Delaware river and on the Gulf
Of Mexico, it is reported as fair Texas,
however, reports serious injury from
drouth. In the great corn producing
region bordering on the Ohio and Missis-
sippi rivers the average is below last
year, particularly in the State of Iowa
which only reports condition of seven
ty-seven, caused by cold spring and too
much rain in June. In Illinois and Mis-
souri, the condition is reported very ia
VOrahie
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1881-07-16
THE HEATED TERN.

Great Mortality at Cincinnati Directly
Traceaable to the. Heat---RepOrts from
Other Poins.
CINCINNATI, July 15.-No rain fell from
June % to July II, and with the tempera-
ture reaching higher than 80 each day,
and as high as 1O4 one day, brought a
fearful mortality the pastweek, the deaths
traceable to hot weather numbering 1868.
There were many more prostrations.
Business, of course, where personal
activity was required, was greatly re-
stricted, and builders were seriously in
terrupted and many manufacturers
stopped work entirely. This state of
affairs was felt at the banks, the volume
of business being much reduced.
COLUMBUS, Ohio, July 15.-Several cases Of
sunstroke here to-day; all serious, though
none fatal. About one hundred and one cases
of sunstroke have occurred within the past
week.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1881-07-16
How to (iet Along.

Never stop to tell stories III business
hours.
If you have place of business be found
there when wanted.
No man can get rich sitting around
stores and saloons.
Never s'fool'' in business matters.
Have order, system, regularity and also
prOmptness.
Do not meddle with business you know
nothing about.
Do net kick everyone in your path.
More miles can be made in day by GO
ing steadily on than by stopping.
Pay as you go.
A man of honor respects his word as he
does his bond.
Help others when you can, but never
give when you cannot afford to simply
because it is fashionable.
Use your own brains rather than those
of others.
Learn to say no. No necessity of snap
ping it out dog fashion, but say it firmly
and respectfully.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1881-07-16
NO. 1871.
TRAIN CAPTURED.
Conductor Killed and the Passengers
Robbed.

Conductor Killed and the Passengers
Robbed.
KANSAS Cry, Mo-, July ia train
robbery occurred tonight ON the Rock
Island road at Winslow station near
Cameron Junction. When the train
which left this city tonight in charge
OF conductor Westwall reached that point
at $3.50 gang of desperadoes appeared
and side tracked the train. Every car
was boarded, the conductor killed aud
passengers robbed. 1t is impossible to
get any particulars up to late hour
Winslow is ON prairie country, and
would seem to be the last place on the
line robbers would select for such an ope-
ration, but the vicinity has very hard
population, and it is not improbable that
they would be assisted in their efforts to
escape pursuit