The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1881-09-03

preater number Of subdivlslons. NC wet
Ter Of formal visiting has led 70 tns wIislug
of iunumorsble books. Tbe decay OF soc's'
visiting Il csuse OF regret TO oil the osu'
Fashioned people who remember now agree
able Il was. The constant ehort 10 insAo
the two divisions shake bands, 10 aou 30,
cIsbility 10 our tormality and 10 cover Az
the forced conditions OF rapidly gro"Inx
and constantly changing socieiy--thess AZ.
the easily besetilng difficulties oil a 0h"0'''
subject. 1900 ,,
Tne original MAN Of an acquaintance "
wss N leave a card once year on all one
friends personalIy, with the hope ana 'Ds
remote expectation OF fading two out OF
tbree AZ home. When society was smaller
shIs was nossible, but u soon grew 10 DC I'M
nrohable. partienlsrly in large cites' nIs
aneIIv led 10 The selection OF reception
dsy' Inch held good sll winter. Ibat De-
rsre impossible 10 buy people ana was
narrowed down 20 four TUESDAYS IN one
.no,,h That resolved itself into one D
o,clock tea, and II lady got lame, lazy, OF
Ingenious, even the last easy method oil re.
ceiying ones friends became too much ana
cards were sent Ia an envelope. NOW, sc'
cordlpg 10 the strict rules OF etiquette, one
card left al the door or one sent In an en-
yelope BY post continues the acquaintance;
We can never know what exigeneies Oh
work, what sudden pressure OF calamity,
what stern necessity for economy, may
prompt lady TO give up her yisiting LOT
whole winter. Even when there Is no up
parent cause, society must ask no queS-
lions, but must acQuiesce IN the most gooo-
paiured view OF subject. SIN we are nor
pleased II we receive Mrs. Browns cara Wy
post aud our next neisbbor receives per
sonal visit from her. We all wish 10 DC Tue
recipient Of the visit. Therefore unless
lady can call on all her formal acquaintance
she had better call personally on none. IL
she gives one reception a year and Invites
all her friends she Is then at liberty 10 re-
irain from either calling or sending card,
unless they have invited her to wedding,
or dinner, or lunch, or a christening
some very particular invitation which she
must return by an early personal call. The
very formal and punetiious say within
week, but that Is often quite impossible.
And II a lady have day, it Is rude TO ignore
that fact. One should be particular to call
on that day.
Some people who have been keeping up
society for many years get swamped with
acquaintanees. II they hope TO do anything
else in the world but TO drive around In
carriage and to leave cards they must eX-
onerate themselves from blame by giving a
reception, having a day or an evening Tor
receiving, and then trust TO the good nature
of society, or its forgetiUlness, which Is
about the same thing, 10 excuse them. But
from the trials OF those who have too much
visiting to do we turn to those who have all
tho means and appliances OF visiting and no
body 10 visit. The young married w0msu
who comes to New York or TO any large
city to live often passes years OF loneliness
before she has Dsde her scquainlances.
She Is properly introduced, we will say, by
her moiher.in-law, and then, after round
Of visits, In which she has but perhaps i'm
perfectly apprehended ibe positions and
names OF people, she has long illness or
goes into mourning, or the cares OF the nur-
sery surround her, and she is shut out from
society until II has forgotten her, and when
she Is ready TO emerge 1t Is difficult for her
TO find her place again In the visiting book.
II she is energetic and clever she surmounts
this difficulty by giving tea or a series OF
receptions, getting herself put on all sorts
Of fashionable charities and committees by
making herself OF use in society in some
agreeable way, and she thus very soon picks
up her dropped stitches. But many young
women are without the courage and tact 10
society will find them out and, taking them
up, dc all the work snd lesve them to ac-
cept or deny civilitIes as they please. This
society never does. 10 has too much on IFS
hands. A few very consplcuously beauti.
ful or gifted women may occasionally re-
eeive such fsvors, but these are not for the
rank and file.
Every young woman who has the time
oh frv 10 10 NJ
personal visit TO those who are Older than
herself, and she should have a great
deal Of charity in the matter OF the re-
turn visit. OF course one has a right 10 OBJ
serve II her visit is constantly ignored, and
she should not press herself upon cold or
indifferent acquaintance, but she should be
"slow to WRATH" aud II she is once invited
to lady's house it is equal to a dozen
calls In The intention OF ciyility. II Is pro-
per TO call In person, TO leave or TO send a
card after an acquaintance has lost friend.
after an engagement Is announced, after a
marriage has taken place, after a return
from Europe, and after, as we have said, an
invitation. But as society grows, as we
have said, larger and larger, the first four
are excused. The omission Is not noticed
because every one sees the impossiblity
Most ladies shut their doors now I'm great
cities, except on their "days." In this
way alone can they hope TO have any time
for their own Individual tastes, be they
what they may china painting, authorship,
embroidery, or music. So the formal visit
ing gets to be mere matter OF card.eaving,
and the witty author who suggested that
there shoGld be "clearing house for
cards " and hailed the Casino at Newport as
good institution for the same was not
without genius. One hates to lose time in
this world in ereasing the machinery, and
the formal per;unctory business OF card
leaving Is little else.
Could we all have abundant leisure, and
be sure TO ind our friends at home, what
moro agreeable business than visitipgf To
wander from one agreeable interior to
another, to talk little harmless gossip, to
hear the last mot, the best piece OF news, TO
see ones friends, their children, and their
stranger within the gates-all this Is charm.
ing. lt Is the Utopia Of society; 1t is the
apotheosis OF visiting. But every lady viii
try, and will probably succeed. In making
one or two informal calls OF winter on in
innate friends. These calls, which can be
made In the pIsinest dress and In the morn.
Ing, are certainly the most agreeable and
The most catering. Ceremonious visits are
merely the machluery by which an acQusiut.
anee Is kept up with circle too large for
social visiting.
10 enc Of the justices courts the other
day a farmer was defendant in a case ef as