The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1881-04-15
is almost as much Of a nuisance as a man

along just as if there was no such per
son in existence as Hon. Daniel Webster
Voorhees,
Sorgho is said to be proof against
drouih and chinch bugs, and altogether
Is quite as insensible to encouragement
as its irrepressibIe champion, Dir. Ben
nYworth, of Pawnee.
Malone and Alexander Stephens prob
| ably predicate their hope of political
millennium upon the almost incredible
fact that Ben Hill has kept his mouth
corraled for three whole days.
Mr.. Grier, the persistent PennsylYa-
nian, who voted for Garfield at Chicago
first, last and all time, has come to the
front, and, it is said, will be suitably
Recognized" by the president.
Maine boasts of having furnished the
present governors of Massachusetts,
Wisconsin. Michigan, California and
Iowa, the congressman from Oregon and
two of the Minnesota congressman.
The Michigan legislature has passed q
law making it a penal offense TO embrace
a lady against her will, but by some in
applicable oversight failed to make an
appropriation for enlarging the state
| prison.
The New York Herald, of Sunday
April 10Th. contained one hundred and
ten and q half columns of advertise
ments, the highest point ever touched in
a single days business by any paper in
the world.
To the ladies: Burn your love letters.
A woman was found dead in New York
who had six hundred gushing epistIes
IN her trunk. The coroner is reading
them over and handing the best to the
newspapers.
If Vernon was an American instead of
"blarsted Canuck," and expected to
run for Office some of these fine days
there would be less inquiry at the pres
ent writing for fuel, and greater de-
mand for garden seeds.
There are well established scientific
grounds for the belief that the attraction
| "a CAC1lC0 uO luAluCuCC III
fecting the coalition between Malone
and Alexander Stephens, the champion
light weights of congress.
Two Alaska Indians were recently
burned by their tribe at the stake for
stealing. And yet there are intelligent
men who hold TO the chimerical therory
that the aborigines are susceptible to
the influences of christian civilization.
The effete despotisms are just begin
ming to recover from the terrible shock
Of the Russian Emperor's assassination,
when 1t is announced that the sweet
singer of Michigan is preparing for an
onslaught upon the crowned heads OF
Europe.
The man who killed a passenger and
wounded two others on the Pacific train
at Chetopa several weeks ago, was ex.
amined at Oswego Saturday and de-
clared to be insane. Friends from Ken
lucky were present and started back with
him last week
The fact that Mr.. Evarts, who is one Of
the American commissioners to the
monetary conference at Paris, can trans.
late one of his ordinary English sen.
fences into French, justifies the belief
that he has pretty thoroughly mastered
the lexicon of that language.
The trial of Russakofr, Michaeloff and
other Nihllists implicated in the assas-
sination of the Car of Russia, is in pro-
gress at st. Petersburg. The counsel for
the defense, in default of the assistance
of a Texas or California lawyer, have re.
linquished the purpose of setting up the
plea of "transitory mania"
The supreme court of Indiana has de.
cided that county commissioners have
no right to offer a reward for persons
charged with crime. Is this an insidi.
Gus scheme to overcome the late Re
publican majority in the Hoosier state,
by terrifying Democratic voters against
Acknowledgement by means of the penal
code?
The New Haven Register says that
Mary Anderson's kisses are forty de-
grees below zero. And yet it is sur
prisIng to contemplate the number of
young men in this strip of timber who
would brave the chances OF freezing
their delicate mustaches beyond all
hope of future termination, by bringing
them in contact with the lips of that
coldly beautiful actress.
A farmer living at Caldwell, Ohio, has
a most wonderful curiosity. 1t is pig,
or rather two pigs, closely united to-
gether. 1t has one perfectly formed head,
two sets of tusks, two palates, double
tongue, eight perfect legs, four ears, and
two tails. From the shoulders back it
has two perfect bodies. Now, if the
Buckeye state can trot out a single ma
tive-born male, over ten years of age,
who is not infiamed with in tentions
upon the presidency of the United
States, her list OF mOnstrosities may be
regarded as tolerably complete.
European residents in China have re-
recently founded several daily papers in
the vernacular, and it is said that their
circulation grows rapidly. They con-
tain leading articles, general and local
news, legal reports at great length, and
in fact nearly all the features of Europe
an newspapers. Not long ago advertise
ments were unknown to Chinese journal
ism, but now they are published in great
numbers. 1t is thought that the super
stitiOus conservatism of the people will
not be able to stand long against the in
formation and ideas diffused by the new
press.