The Indianapolis leader. (Indianapolis, Ind.) 1879-1890, 1881-12-31
Personal Recollections of Artemus Ward.
Cincinnati Commerciall

WASHINGTON, Dec. 21.-Harry Thomas, of
Dayton, was sitting in the Ebbitt House
smOking-room, the other evening, chatting
about prominent people who were lettering
about Washington, when the conversation
chanced 10 turn TO humorous people. and
Thomas asked me if | ever met Charles
Brown (Artemus Ward).
Never did? Well it was my good fortune
to know him intimately for several years,
and the remembrance is not likely to die
out soon. When 1 first came to Ohio, in
the Sos / settled down in Cleveland where
was employed by music dealer and pub
Usher named Dodge, on Euclid avenue. He
and Brown were friends, and he introduced
us. Brown was then city editor of the Plain
dealer, and being himself a new arrival was
looking for quarters and for room mate.
We seemed to take a fancy to one
another, and agreed to take a
room together We found suitable
quarters In what was then known as Brain
ards Hall. in Superior street. and roOmed
there during my stay in Cleveland. Brown
was the most irrepressible person / ever met.
He was always playing jokes and telling
funny stories. | remember fellow there
named PinkertOn, q rObust-lOOking fellew,
who prided hi niself on his irish blood, and
was always talking about Irish aristOcracy.
He was a strapping big fellow, six feet tall,
and finely proportioned. His name was
land. Brown was always PLAYING jokes on
him. and as he was employed on the Plain
dealer too, there was generally plenty of Op-
pOrtunity.
''Pinkerton belonged to what was known
as the Cleveland Dragons, and his uniform
was the most gorgeous | ever saw. The hat
was particularly grand. 1t was made of
patent leather. and had white horse-tail
fixed at the peak and falling over the back.
NJ N "a nd m
room after drill. and after We had finished
several glasses of sherry, concluded to remain
ali night. His tongue had limbered up and
he talked us blind. 1t was Belfast this and
Belfast that until you would have thought
the sun rose and set in Belfast, and l. for
one. never wanted to hear the name again.
Finally we got to bed and Pinkerton was
soon snoring loudly. Brown and / were still
awake. Brown got up. He tip-tOed over to
the Irishman's bed and shook him.
'''Pnkerton, PinkertOn, he cried, wake
up, wake up at once. Quick! quick'
"Pinkerton was up in an instant, and
stood gazing at little Brown like a bewildered
giant. not quite knowing where he was.
"'Pfhat is it Mr.. BrOwnp he exclaimed
as though sure the house must be afre.
'Pinkerton,' asked Brown slowly, can
you tell me the exact population of Belfast
Ireland?'
Brown lodged just in time.
The next morning we were awakened by
a terrible clatter In the room, and woke up
to see Brown adorned in the big cavalry
mans uniform, big hat and boots, riding
furiously around the room astride of
broomstick, and slashing away with his
saber for dear life. The sight was too lu-
dicrous, and we both burst out laughing
The thing that made Browns reputation
was his Berlin Heights letter 1t described
his life among the MormOns and was the
most ridiculous thing ever saw. 1t spread
like wild ire all over this country and
Europe. It made A. Ward famous, and
through it he was employed on Vanity
Fair then the leading humorist paper
of the country, and soon after
wards left Cleveland for New York. re-
member the day Brown wrote that letter.
1t was on Sunday afternoon, and the
weather was hotter than anything in the
revised edition can express. / was tryingto to
color meerschaum pipe and Brown was
writing at his table. He wrote rapidly, and
laugh. He enjoyed his own fun as
much anybody. That is why it was
funny. A thing that Charlie Brown
would not laugh at was not
worth laughing at Finally he finished his
work, and throwing down his pen, he said
Come, Harry, let as have a drink We
went out and got some beer and finally
WtUl Ou W u OdCk SIIccI-CnamDldln street
L think it was-where the boys used to con-
gregate in the hopes of getting some more
Alas, there was Grape on the door. The
keeper of the little saloon had lost his wife's
mother.
Brown read the notice on the door,"
"GOne to the funeral of my mother-in-
law, and wept. When he recovered himself
he said We must still get in here and
then started for the back door. 1t was un-
locked. We entered, rested ourselves at the
table, and helped ourselves to the cool lager
as though we owned the house. BY the
time we were ready to go, we
were both feeling our oats. Just then
Brown spied dozen champagne bot
ties on the shelf, and we took a quart each
and slowed them under our coats, left our
cards on the counter, stating what we had
done, and started for our room.
Brown wanted to have good time, so
we met two or three friends and took them
along to share our plumber. A table was
spread, some glasses found, and Brown took
the tinfoil off the top of one
OF the bottles and applied
cork-screw. noticed that the wine
did not bang but Brown poured it out,
and We raised the glasses to our lips. Here's
to the new production said Brown. The
boys drank hearty, but looked queer Brown
looked queerer than all. The darned stuff
is rain water he exclaimed, and placed on
the shelf for