The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1881-02-12
The Lunar workings of the "Heven
Wise Fools -


maiden aunts invariably commenced, 81
take my pen in hand to write you few
lines" etc. /, also, would like to write
"few lines" lines Of warning and of counsel;
but my life is also taken in hand, as well as
my pen. Truth is falsity, friendship but
NAME and mans love for man but hol-
low mockery. / have been initiated into the
society of the "Brothers of the Mystic Tie
Would | were not. l foolishly expressed a
wish to become a member 10 a friend who
wore the mystic pin, horse shoe nail, and
WAS invited to meet him the following night
at IL O'clock. We met Ticking q carrisge
We were driven to the hall. My friend
knocked three times in a peculiar manner
and muttered words, 10 me unintelligible. A
voice from within said, "Has the applicant
considered everything; is his heart stou and
nerves unfalteringY" My conductor an
swered, "He has considered everything"
"Presto paso." The floor on which stood
rsised suddenly up, and | was thrown with
great violence through panel in the door,
and landed, stunned on the floor of the
chamber. On recovering const business |
looked around and saw about o.s hundred
and fifty Enthusiastically dressed I'd masked
figures, who saluted me az l 80 with ,he
cry, "Hai stranger hail Welcome TO our
mystic hall" | thought the cry of hail
very inappropriate, as entered more like
y cannon ball than hail stone.
| was assisted to my feet by two members
who conducted me TO sort of throne ut the
head Of the hall on which w0s seated q per
son who seemed to be the presiding genius
OF the society. In deep sepulchral tone no
asked, Hast thou well considered the step
thou art about to tske?" Now had not
considered anything at all, but O friendly
nudge from one Of my conductors sdmon-
ishod me to answer, ayes" ut lie well; pre-
pare him for the services" was then seized
| by five of the members and hurried to en-
adjoining room. While on the way / cav
poor, forlorn looking thing, once n man,
lone out on stretcher. To my unsaked
question one Of my guards said, "He is over
come With giief at the death of his mother
in law" feared differently, but said moth
ing My guards stripped me of everything
save ono brief undergarmunt. The weather
led back to the council bsll which now as
sumed the form Of court room. The occu.
pant of the throne, who was called "Most
High Kskolorum," said: 1.-THE applicant
must answer to several indictments ere be
can be admitted to q membership in the
order of the Seven Wise Fools, and be emit
tied to wear the highly honorary badge of
the horse shoe nail. Place him before the
throne" was placed. His majesty said,
"The garment in which you ara clad teaches
you that life ia short, and that it will be long
enough before the rosea bloom again" |
said nothing. | have read somewhere Of q
man, who, travelling from Jerusalem TO
Jericho fell among thieves | also
think | must have fallen among
thieves, as all my clothes were d.
vided among the motley crew who
tod me that was the principal part of the
initiation fec ard that would have some old
coffe. sacks to go home in. HIS High Kocko-
forum now read from huge book the follow
ing question: Are you married man or
dug?' The fool at nay elbow said: DOG
say quick," | answered tremously, "Dog, please
your honor" when WAS seized by Nh animal
of the canine species, who planted his teeth
firmly in my leg. He was removed, ard
while rubbing the wounded member, | heard
the mob singing in chorus:
''B W WOW WOW says the dog,
Sharp In his bite on mans leg;
| he likes TO show his might"
vas then led before the throne again and
the boss said, "Do you use tobacco" "Yes,"
your highness." "Gve me chew" felt
around for tobacco, but, well | did not End
any. had forgotten to bring my pockets
from the other room. "Will you swear
always to uphold the society to which YOU
ask sdmittance? Would you, if occasion re-
qured, lilo in wait and steal into the camp OF
IN enemy 2" "Yes." "Record it that he
has no tobacco aud that no will lie and steal
"ls It cold enough for you; is it so brothers OF
not? at is" chorus answered. proceed
with the initiation ceremonies" lmmedi-
ntely | was struck, but bounced into tank
of ice water On recovering consciousness
heard the knock kneed, bandy-legged son-of
a-sea-cook, who brought me there, say
sympathizingly, as it cold enough for you p
While the members sang in chorus!
as Il cold enough foryou, well Islher guess
He win ask itin the future q very littleless
Another would-De assassin remarked
reGectingly while they wtra briag,n,
me to, al! ala. so durn rotten hot
and they MI rubbed what was left of me
vigorously, with br.ck-bsts, corn.cobs ia
fnct anything that came handy. locke
around to zee if | could discover the motiv,
power which Induced me 10 take that bath
IL WAS that Internal goat.
Alto: caring out several bricks, bushe
or so Of cobs aud some gunny sacks, on m,
fast diminishing frame, | was sgsia take
before the boss torturer of the institution
who had 3 esp Of many colors, like Joseph
coat, placed on my much bruised head
several small bells hanging III ereto, an
AK me how | felt. replied, "Oh, first rats
I really enjoy lively AMI animated society
but your majesty, have brother he is
, boy, aud he has never enjoyed such socie
benefits. | would like 10 resign and learn hin
to finish what hsve begun" "Your unset
ilshness shall not be aiken advantage of: Civ
him chance" | sat down; sud- Rly recol
lectug myself, stood up, (Jhero were pin
in that chair, the points of WHICH Wer
turned up 10 quite scientific mauner).
prefer TO stand anyhow, in the presence Q
royalty. Said his highness, THAT chat
/ teaches Of the thorHy path which ali mus
tread" hadn't tread" but said nothing
The reading of the indictments was then re
sumed: "Did you, or did you not, last sprini
sing, or rather bowl, "Dear Little Buttertup,
| IA hymn belonging particularly to our or
der), to he misery Of your friendsp "Hardl
ever, your highness" mos 4, II and Al
will you swear you heard the candidate sim
! Little Buttercup." eve swear" "rhe
IL ~