The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1881-12-02

I'D. H. Locke's faris Letter In Ioieuo blaoe.I
Tibbitts tried to worry one of these
Partisan statesmen, and for once succeed
ed. He stopped the party promenading
with HIM on the Boulevard des Italiens
mt jewelers., who displayed in his win
dow the legend, English spoken.
The English spoken" in the shops is
COOL enough, as rule, to explain the
nature and quality of the goods, and
that is ALL Further, the Engish-speak-
ing salesman has no more idea of Eng
lish than he has Ashantee. Tibbitts
marched in boldly, and the English
speaking man appeared. He was u very
well-preserved, bald-headed man Of fifty,
and ut him Tibbitts went.
''Do you speak English?"
'Oui-yees. Monster"
Tibbitts grasps his hand enthusiasts
cally. "It's refreshing to meet one in a
strange land who can speak ones own
language"
'Yees, Monsieur"
"Well, what / want to know is, is the
Chicago q Northwestern Railroad cut
ting rates the same as the other roads,
and do they cut for Western-bound pas
sengers the same as for Eastern, and do
you have the remotest idea that the cut
ting will be kept up till September when
return, and does the Pullman Sleeping
Car Company cut the same as the rail-
road companies?"
sch, Monsieur? Yeese Watches"
"You don't quite understand me. You
see the Pullman Sleeping-Car Company
is quite distinct from the railroad COM
panies, and one may cut rates without
the other. See? Now, what | want to
know is"
The bewildered Frenchman, who
spoke English, stared in wild sort of
way, but his politeness did not desert
him:
''Res eet re watch, re diamond, ze-"
''Not yet What / want to know is,
who is this Lapham and Miller who have
been elected to fill the vacancies Occa-
stoned by the designations of Plat and
Conkling, and is Miller going to be a
tail to Lapham's kite, or are they both
square. bang-up men, and"
"Will monsieur look at re goods?"
''No, no. Is the Chicago IL North
western in this row.
BY this time the Frenchman was out
of patience.
"Monsieur talks-wat you call i'm
gibberish. ave not ~ time to waste.
Eef it ees re watch"
''Sir," replies Tibbitts severely,
"when you announce English spoken
you should speak English, or at least,
understand it. Good-morning, or as
you don't understand the plainest Eng
ish, bong-swoir.
He had succeeded this time, and
should have retired on his laurels. But
Tlbbittses, alas, always overdo what
they undertake. He had extracted SO
much amusement from his first expert
ment that he tried it over again the next
day. He entered similar place and
commenced the same thing.
"What want to know, is the Chicago
do You suppose the cutting of rates will
continue till September, when l return,
and
'Indeed, cannot tell you, sir. 1t is
something / do not keep the run of.
You had better apply mt the American
Exchange or the Herald Office"
This in the best and clearest American
English. Poor Tibbitts had fallen upon
a bright American who w Us turning his
knowledge of French to account by
serving as salesman in Paris. Mr..
Tibbitts smiled CHASTITY smile as he
bowed himself out of the place. Bad
marksmen who by chance hit ull's-eye
should be very modest and refuse to
shoot again. Even Napoleon, great as
he was, fought one battle too many.