Democratic Northwest. [volume] (Napoleon, Ohio) 1869-1894, 1881-02-03
ABOUT BkBIB.
R.futation Of tSs aHsll-sprins of
Pleasures Idea.-

heIutauon OF tH9 y EIA-||nB VI
Pleasures fasa.-
Some idiot has said that baby in the
puse is well-spring Of pleasure. Wen !
he never had baby. A baby may
a well.spring Of pleature; but IL that
: fact It has never been made patent to |
- We have three Of 'em at home and |
e result is our house is a sort Of Bedlim.
lfthey amt fighting and pulling each
hers hair they are crying for piece"
OCCASIONALLY this is varied by one of them
Hing down stairs. The falling down
airs racket is highly exciting and pecu-
arly thrilling to a nervous man. 1t
Akes fellow long time to get used to
but we would say to those un-
pphisiicated couples who are rearing
heir first babies that no kid ever gets
urt by falling down stairs, They
pt to fall down stairs fifteen or twenty
mes, just as they have got to go through
he measles and whooping cough. When
nr baby first got in the habit of tumblin'
own stairs it scared US; We thought q
hing like that would smash it all up,
md we used TO skirmish around to drug
tores to get liniment and things to put
IN it. Now, when one of our babies per-.
'orms this act we generally lick it or
live it a cent. according to which best
uits Its dispositions. but we have never
een any well.spring of pleasure in this
ort of thing.
n All we want to do in this brief article
; to make wellspring-of.pleasure man
Hut liar. We won't go into that
tereotyped story about few getting out
f bed on cold winter night trotting up
ind down the room with the baby when
has the collie, and running tacks in
bis feet, and fooling around with the
aregoric bottle, because we believe that
ny man who is not an idiot never did
hat except on the occasion Of the first
baby. After the first one the man let's
bis wife shoulder the responsibility and
1 he baby at the same time. 1t 1evolves
4 apon her then to trot up and down with
Rhe baby and look whether there are
bins sticking into it, and give it doses of
|atnip tea and soothing sirup. If the
.ather is of a phlegmatIc disposition he
koes into sort of nightmareish sleep,
|And if he is nervous he founders around
HE bed and swears, and we think our
Headers will bear us out when we say
here ism t much of a we'll spring of pleas
|hre in this.
Then as time rolls on the babies gets
lder and they also get the measles, and
<All sorsts of infantile diseases, and in ad-
alllon to this the boys fall off bake-ovens
Rnd board-piles and break their arms
Ind legs, and the girls get sand thrown
nto their eyes and fall into coal-holes
md get lost. The old man, instead OF
letting q neY. oyei coat, saves his money
% buy cough-syrup and pay doctor-bills
Ind when he finds his nose brought to
3hs grind-stone In this manner he is APT
Do wonder whether the well spring mar
amyth Or not, and is liable to believe
hat he is.
But we suppose what is, il right. The
World wouldn't amount to much il there
we're no babies. There is nothing NEAR
about US. We are willing to wrestle with
The babies, and feed them, and cloth'
hem, and educate them, and bring then
/ lip in the way they should go, and ther
bee them meander off IN the way they
Shouldn't 60; but what we kick on is tn,
we'll spring idea, and we repeat that th'
man who got off that remark never wa
proprietor of baby.