The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1881-08-26
BICYCLE EXERCISE.

gEs# fb1C1CLE EAERClSEs ra
Mr.. SpOOpendyks Purchases q Ma
chine and Makes a Vile a SIinSsse.
Now, my dear, said Nh. Spoopen-
dyke, hurrying up to his wife's room,
II you'll come down IN the yard I've
got pleasant surprise for you.
"What Is 2" asked Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke, "-what hate you got, horse?'
"Guess again, . grinried Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke. cts something like horse"
al know It's a new parlor carpet.
That's what it is -
4" No, it isn't either. l said it's some.
thing like horse; that is, it goes when
you make it. Guess again.
" Is it paint for the kitchen walls ?"
asked Mrs. Spoopendyke, innocently.
"No it amt, and it amt hogshe ad
of stove backing, nor it ART ses Of
dining-room furniture, nor it amt seven
gross Of stationary washtubs. Now guess
again.
"Then it must be- some lace curtains
for the sitting-rooa windows. Isn't that
Just splendid" and Mrs. Spoopendyke
patted her husband ON both cheeks and
danced down and down with delight.
"It's a bicycle, that's what 1t is J +"
gro#led Mr.. Spoopendyke. 81 bought
it for exercise and I'm going TO ride it.
Come down and see me.
We'll, amt glad, eiacnlated Mrs.
SpOop endyke. "You ought to have
more exercise, and if there's exercise in
anything it's in q bicycle. Do let's
see it'll - .@-s.....-..
Mr.. Spoopendyke conducted his wife
to the yard and descanted at length on
the merits of the machine.
"In few weeks I'll be able to make
a mile minute, " he said, as he steadied
the apparatus against the clothes post
and prepared to mount. "Now, you
watch me go to the end of this path. :"
He got q foot into one treadle and
went head first into a flower patch,
the machine on top with prodigious
crash.
Hadn't you better tie it up to the
post until you get onT' suggested Mrs.
spoopendyke.
"Leave me alone, will we p demand
ed Mr.. Spoopendyke, struggling 70 an
even keel. "Im dom most O. this my
self. Now you hold on and keep your
mouth shut. It takes little practice,
that's all. ;"
Mr.. Spoopendyke mounted again and
scuttled along four or five feet and
Topped over on the grass plat.
"That's splendid r commended his
wife. you've got the idea already.
Let me hold it for you this time"
eff you've got any extra strength you
hold your tongue, will yer ?" growled
Mr.. Spoopendyke. cit won't want any
holding. 1t amt alive. Stand back and
give me room, now"
The third trial Mr.. Spoopendyks
ambled to the end of the path and went
down all in heap among the flower
pots.
"That's just too lovely for anythingl"
proclaimed Mrs. Spoopendyke. :" You
made more'n a mile minute that
time I"
"Come and take it off r roared Mr.,
Spoopendyke. "Help me up! Blast
the bicycle p and the worthy gentleman
struggled and plunged around like a
whale in shallow water.
Mrs. Spoopendyke assisted in righting
him and brushed him off.
81 know where you make your mis-
take" said she. "The little wheel
ought to go first like a buggy. Try it
that way going back.
"Maybe you can ride this bicycle
better than / can howled Mr.. SpOop-
endyke. "You know all about wheels
What you need nov, Is a lantern in your
mouth and ten minutes behind time to
be the City Hall clock Don't you see
the big wheel has got to go first?
" Yes, DEAR" murmured Mrs. Spoop-
endyke, "but I thought if you prac-
ticed with the little wheel at first, you
wouldn't have so far to fall"
"Who fell?" demanded MIR. Spoop-
endyke. "Didn'U you see me step off?
tripped; that's all. Now you just
watch me go back"
Once more Mr.. Spoopendyke started
In, but the big wheel turned around and
looked him in the face, and then began
to stagger. al
"Look out +" squealed Mrs. Spoop-
endyke.
Mr.. Spoopendyke wrenched away and
kicked and struggled, but it WAS Of no
avail. Down he came, and the bicycle
was hopeless wreck. a....
"Whatd ye want to yell for?" he
shrieked. "CouIdnt We keep your
mouth shut? What dye think ware.
anyhow, a fog horn? bod CAST the
measly bieyclel" and Mr.. SpoopeD-
dyke hit it kick that folded him up
like bolt of muslin. t' e
"Never mind, my DEAR" counseled
Mrs. Spoopendyke, "I'm afraid the ex-
ercise was too violent, anyway, and I'm
rather glad you broke it.
81 s'pose so, snorted Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke. "There's $50 gone"
Don't worry, love. I'll go without
the carpets and curtains, and the paint
will do well enough in the kitchen. Let
me rub you with arnica."
But Mr.. Spoopendyke was too deeply
grieved by his wife's conduct to accept
any Office at her hands, preferring to
punish her by letting his wounds smart
rather than to get well, and thereby re-
lieve her of any snxiety she brought on
herself by acting so outrageously under