The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1881-04-13

snowy labels he poured fluids of different
hues into q small vial, which was itself duly
labelled, corked and passed to me over the
polished tombstone that did duty as a coun-
ter (of course the epitaph was turned). AS I
returned I decided to dispense with the cere-
mony Of knocking at the door, lest | might
disturb the sick child. Softly opened the
door, stepped into the basement hall and
CROPPED my way towards the dining room,
where | had left Mesdames Biggs and Bare
fry. At first I heard no sound. [ turned
the knob gently and then found, to my great
the interior of q black cow. "Probably they
have gone up stairs to-hello!" interrupt
ed myself by stumbling upon the extension
table, Just then, from the floor above me-,
came a voice singing, to a vile piano accom-
painment, something that sounded like:
'sTeahs, idle teahs (plung! plung! nav
nawt h'wat they mean (plung! plungD'
s'Teahs frawm the de-epth Of sawm day
vine despair (plung plungy"
Gracious Moses! Now I understood it all!
I was in the wrong house, and must get out
as soon as possible. 'sNice situation for a
respectable Citizen" I thought, as [ ran into
q heavy armchair. Still, my mistake was
undiscovered, and there was yet time to es-
cape. Cautiously / felt my way back 70 the
door, with both arms extended. Neither OF
them touched the door, but my nose did, and
the contact was sufficient to bring the warm
blood trickling down over my lips and chin.
The music up stairs suddenly ceased. Los
ing all discretion, Imade q wild plunge into
the hall, but my bad luck still pursued me.
A bushel basket of apples was standing in
my path Il wonder how [ escaped it in enter
ing), I struck it with my foot, knocked it
oyer and fell on my knees with a crash. For
an instant there was profound silence. In
that instant the thoughts that passed through
my mind were inexpressibly horrible. The
possibility Of my being sho; by a burglar had
once alarmed me, but to be shot as q burglar!
NV name, unsullied during many years OF
city life, was to figure on the police reports
| at last! /, who had never sold a bad egg nor
| a pound of rancid butter, was to be dragged
before the public as a thief! To leave q leg
acy of shame and dishonor to my children
and
A light appeared from the top Of the stairs
and at the same moment the basement door
opened and a man entered. II say Bessie"
he called, 'syou ought to fasten the door
when I go-hey, who's this? Just as I sup
posed" Here he rushed at me and caught
me by the collar.
"Hello! Let up! This is all q mistake, "
roared. But he did not let up, and we had
q wrestling-match there in the hall, half
lighted by the lamp up stairs. Ny opponent
was younger and stronger than I, and soon
laid me on my back among the scattered ap-
pies.
"Hiram, are you hurt ?" asked q woman's
shrill voice.
"No," gasped Hiram. "Ive got him.
Put on your shawl, Bessie, darling-or 10
call Tommy and send him for an officer.
Don't loose a minute"
"Wait," said I, ssthat is all a most unfor-
tunate blunder. ! am no burglar, but my
name is Amos B~iggs-butter n eggs, you
know, corner Of
'What does the man say z" asked Hiram.
He is a hopeless maniac, Bessie, and NUT.
tiers something about big butter and eggs.
Come down here with the lamp"
'Let me up and Tllexplain,' said !. ! be-
gan to tell my story and offered the bottle of
medicine, which was proyidentially intact,
in evidence. Bessie came slowly down with
the lamp, and after listening to my account
of my mistake advised Hiram to release me,
saying that I did not look like a burglar.
IF you doubt my word you may search
me and see if [ have stolen anything [ ex.
claimed.
Slowly my captor's grasp relaxed and !
rose.
"No,' said Hiram, sit is not necessary
Then aside to his companion, 81 don't be.
lieve him q thief, but he is probably out OF
his head" Then to ma, ssYou may 60, sir
went. Of course I had to explain to Mrs
Biggs and Mrs. Rarefry, who had heard the
sound of the struggle.
"Well, Amos said the sharer of my joys
and sorrows, t'next time you will knock al
the door of IN neighbours house, won't ycu?'
EYES," I answered.
And I certainly shall.
Amos BIGGs, Butter and Eggs.
a%
Bismarck's Strength and Weakness.
tIOnd0n SDectnfOr.1