The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1881-09-13
A Comical Wedding.

man, the other day. "They generally
wanted to get spiced on the Fourth of
July or Christmas. They'd come in
from the woods, the fellow and his girl
both riding on load of hoop-poles or tan
bark, and sometimes holding themselves
on to three. foot log that a yoke of oxen
was shaking in from bark peeling.
fees coonskin, two railroad ties, a pint
of applejack, three dozen hoop poles,
twenty five cents in pennies, two quarts
of low bush huckleberries, and promise
to vote for me when was q candidate.
But that was an unusually good Fourth
for fees. The couples that I'd hitch,
taking the average run of 'em, would
most likely say
"Well, now, squire, we'em much
obliged. When you come long our way,
Squire, drop in an we'll flop an extry
slanjack."
But never hankered after slapjacks
with salt pork gravy and molasses, so
those fees are coming in yet.
OhS udJ was SlIJlhS III my OlllOS III
Noses bar.room thinking what I'd best
do for q funny pain had in my stom-
ach, when in walked big, strapping
hoop. pole cutter and bark forager from
way back % the Knob He had his
daughter with him. The girls name
was Mag. Mag was about 10, but, stars
alive she was blame near six feet high,
and I'll bet she could lift barrel of
whiskey over a even-rail fence. She
was pretty good looking for all that.
Busy, squire ?" asked the old man.
"'Not particular" said.
Wall, Squire, l s'pose you know
that Jerry Elwine's got the best groun'-
hog dog there is in the hull Knob ken
try, don'tyou ?"
"' never heard of Jerry Elwine or his
grounding dog said I, partly on &C
count of the pain in my stomach and a
plagued sight madder because Mag had
sot down on straw hat of mine that
wouldn't have taken a dollar note for.
"' What never heered o. that dog,
Squire ?' said Mag. Never heered o.
ole Tobe ? W.a.a.l, eff that don't take the
grease off'n my griddle ~
"' Wall anyhow, whether ye ever
heerd of him or not" the old man put
in, he's back o. the Knob, an Jerry
owns him. AM the trouble is Squire,
Jerry's so cussed 'feered of his dog that
he won't let any one hunt groun' hogs
with him but hisself an he's talkin' o.
sellin' him over in M'roe county.
"' If Jerry Elwain sells that air dog,
said Mag, "I'll rattle the teeth out'n
him don't care eff we agoin to get
spliced!" !"
&C. began to think that the old man
and his girl had come to get an order of
court on jerry Elwine to appear and
show cause why he shouldn't let Tobe
hunt with any person who wanted him,
and why perpetual injunction
shouldn't be issued forbidding him to
sell the dog over in Monroe county.
60 The fact O. the matter is, Squire"
continued the father, that dogs too
goldarned vallyable to be wasted. He
kin keep any family that amt passel
o. gluttons in goun'- hogs from Septem.
ber to the time they hole up. Some
folks think groun' '-hogs is too rank to set
well, and 1 heered Joe Atkinson say
once that he'd as leaf eat taller dip as
the best part of groun' hog. But they
amt nothin' that goes to the spot with
our family as hunk o. that varmint.
Is they Mag ?"
80 Dad, yer shoutin' ~ replied Mag.
wall, as was sayin', Squire, that
dog is too vallyable to be in the onsartin
sittywation he is now. That dog is got
to be converted with our family, an
we've jest come in to see when you kin
come out our way, Squire an make the
connection"
&c You're going to buy the dog, eh ?
and want me to draw up the deed Y' 1
asked, madder than hornet at all the
palaver about dogs and groundhogs.
"'N.aa-a-w said Mag, laughing
about like horse might. Yer way
off, Squire. Yer see, Jerry's been
workin' for us for a good while, an
been tryin' to shine round me for
more'n six months, but he amt much
of fighter, an he amt much of
shooter, though he amt no slouch at
rippin' the bark off'n a hemlock, and
mowin' hooppoles. But when 1 heard
he was goin' to sell Tobe L weakened.
That dog fastens unto too many groun'-
hogs to live away from our plantations,
1 says. So Jerry am me took to sittin,
up nights an the consekense is that