Morning journal and courier., 1881-04-27
Some Gifted Liars,
And the Tales They Told in & Modern
 Grocarv

1 And the Tales They Told in & Modern Grocery.
 'l knew an old farmer in Minnesota said the man with the red nose, ''who owned ten l acres of timber land where millions of pigeons came each year to roost They de-
 vastated the wheat fields and the old coon used to catch the birds in nets and thrash them out on the barn floor. Each bird had | three ounces of wheat in his crop. and it was | a bad year for Old Thompson when he couldn't ship thousand bushels of wheat to market at $2 bushel, and it ranked A No. l when 1t reached the Chicago elevator. If there had been a few millions more of pigeons he would have come pretty near get ting corner In the Minnesota wheat crop" l know planter down in Alabama" said k1ttrell, "who trained an alligator to work up and down the river and catch the little plcannln1es that played along it's banks The alligator would take the little kids in it's jaws and swim back to the plantation. It was a dull day that he couldn't corral three or four. The planter raised them carefully, and when they got big sold 'em in New Orleans, prices ranging from three to ten thousand apiece. He was rolling in wealth when Lin coins emancipation proclamation was issued and after that the alligator never did any more work. The man is now barely keeping
 body and soul together in Washington, clerk ing in one of the government bureaus at $S,- OOO a year."
 II had dog once," spake the judge,
 ''back in Nebraska that kept to herd cot tonwood lumber. Cottonwood boards warp
 like thunder in the sun. A board would be-
 gin to hump it's back at 9 in the morning,
 and in half an hour it would turn over. By
 II it would warp the other way with the
 heat, and make another flop. Each time it turned 1t moved a couple of feet, always following the sun towards the west. The first summer lived in Brownville over ten thousand feet of lumber skipped out to the hills the day before I had advertised a house raisin'. I went to the county seat to attend 8 lawsuit, and when got back there wasn't stick of timber left. It had strayed away into the uplands An ordinary board would climb two mile hill during a hot week, and when it struck the timber 1t would keep wormln' in and out among the trees like garter snake. Every farmer in the State had to keep shepherd dogs to follow his lum- Der around the country, keep it together and show where 1t was in the morning. Wouldnt need any fumes there for lumber. We sawed it east of the place we wanted to use it, and let it warp itself to it's destination, with men and dogs to head it off at the right time. We never lost stick"
 A Thigh Bone i'm the Heart Of Tree.
 [Bellefontaine (o.l Correspondence Cincinnati
 Enquirer.l
 The oldest place of sepulture for the bones of human being probably ever conceived has just been discovered near Spring Hills, in Champaign county. party of men cut down a large ash tree It made two saw logs, each fourteen feet long. The logs are now in the Walker mill yard here. On top of these, thirty feet from the ground, imbedded in the solid timber, and looking, from the rings around it, if it had been there for ages, was found the thigh bone of an adult human be- ing, presumably mans. Let it be borne in mind that this bone was in a solid log, that fhn ipoho ro11o knn holes or dead wood. How did it get there? When discovered one of the men struck into it with the bit of an The ax broke, and the piece is still firmly imbedded in the bone. Of course, speculation is rife as to this mys- terious circumstance, and rumors of a mur- der committed many years ago, where all the body was discovered but the head and one thigh bone, are afoat. Be that as it may, the facts are vouched for on nnimpeachable tes- timony, and the bone speaks for itself.
 A PunctuaI Unknown.
 A Paris correspondent relates the expert ence of fascinating young widow of that city which is decidedly Frenchy. Neverthe- less, there may be foolish creatures of the same class even in this happy land to whom the warning will not be inapplicable. Young \ widows are not generally adverse to theatre going, neither was Mime. D., resident of the Rue du Faubourg St, Bonore, at Paris, when, the other day, postman brought her an en- velope with two stall tlckets-one for her, the other for her little son-for the representa- tion of a new and fashionable piece at well known play house. Upon the paper, stamp ed with counts coronet, she found the mys- terious words: ''Be punctual. My seat is just behind yours" Was there any one of the visitors of the building more punctual for opening aceords of the overture than she? Not even her generous anonymous had learn ed the act of punctuality as well as she-the seat behind her was empty, and remained so. There she sat. waiting for the interesting &C., quainence she had hoped to meet. Many time the door of the stall opened, but that seat behind hers continued unoccupied for a long time. At last Mime. D. lost patience, and, considering herself neglected most outrageously, left the theatre. She drove home directly, and oh, horror!- found the door of her dwelling open, presses and safes forced open and emptied of every ob- ject worth carrying of. She concluded that her anonymous friend had, after all been punctu- al to his appointment, and vowed she would never again accept tickets from a stranger.