The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1881-12-20
MY MULE RIDE.

II HlCuh " tlNlllNtu CltuluIt dCCuSlOHi-
ed to good society, but wild steed of the
plains brought up on the grass and rat
tlesnakes, and accustomed to cavort re-
gardless of the constitution as amended,
or the rights of man. Mules are pretty
much alike the world over, only the
Texas mule is little more so
rode one the other day, and I'm 60
ing to try 10 tell you about 1t. 1t won't
be very we'll written, because my right
arm has been in sling, and have
more bruises than bones. You see fell
in love with girl-deep as forty-foot
well-I mean my love, not the girl-she
isn't deep bit-and as my luck would
have it, another fellow fell about the
same distance about the same time.
He's not bad looking chap, and
wears store clothes on week days. He
parts his hair In the middle, and oils it
up with bergamot and cinnamon. He
has his name printed on pieces of paste
board and drops them around promis-
cuously for fear people might forget that
A. Brown was about. 1 had to ac-
knowledge the face that between this fell
low and myself, in the affections of the
divine Araminta, it was nip and tuck,
with the dog little ahead.
put on my best clothes one day and
walked over to the gals house, intend
ing to move on her works, and have the
little thing settled without further de-
bate. My rival was there, and seemed
to have on his best clothes. That didn't
amount to much, for knew that at ten
o'clock, six hours after my arrival, he'd
have to wend his winding way home,
for the old lady he boarded with didn't
allow irregular hours.
If he got to his frugal couch, or rather
the house containing it, he might skin
his knuckles and kick his boots of, but
he wouldn't get in after that hour, and
the haymow is not very pleasant bed
room in flea time. But L was soon re-
lieved of all anxiety. We had diver
sion that broke up the sitting.
Araminta is possessed of a little BROTH
er-I hate girls brothers If they are
little they play tricks on you, and If
they are big they borrow your money,
get drunk, and insult you with impuni-
ty, knowing that'you are in love with
the sister and won't resent an insult.
While we were talking in small way,
and looking volumes of love at the girl
and wrath at each other, we heard a
fearful yell in the garden patch, and
running out, found little brother on the
ground in active convulsions. He had
been trying to eat his way through the
melon patch. 1t was disgusting fail.
ure, for he could not have bursted open
ten or twelve.
AS it was, it looked as if there was
going to be death in the family, and
Araminta screamed a scream and yelled
at us to run for doctor.
We both took in the situation at 9
glance-the man that got the doctor
first would get Araminta for life. My
rival went out over the fence like deer
and seized the only horse in the stable
He bridled and saddled the animal In
| liluC, WnllC l. uOGn
ing left me but mule. 1 seized blind
bride, and rushing at the animal, fell
something whizz over my head that
am sure was pair of heels. They mar
rowly escaped my skull but carried of
my hat.
Nothing daunted, 1 seized the creature
by the ear, put on the bride, unfastenec
the chain by which he was haltered anG
led him from the stable. He went ou
willingly, so much so, indeed that hat
some difficulty in keeping up, and hat
not the creature stopped outside to give
vent in a prolonged bray, 1 could mo-
have mounted. AS it was, before he got
through with his musical entertainment
was on his back.
The beast seemed somewhat astonish
ed at this performance, and stood turn
ing it over in his mind for minute
while 1 dug my heels vigorously into
his sides. He seemed suddenly to come
to the conclusion that change of ad
ministration would bean excellent thing
and to this end began going up and down
like saw gate. / really thought I'D be
split in two, and would probably have
been pitched over but that, in the midst
of this pleasing exercise Muley caught
sound of the horse disappearing at hare
gallop in the distance. He seemed ami
mated by the laudable ambition of over
taking the horse, and started so suddenly
that he came veIy near leaving me
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