Litchfield enquirer., 1881-06-16
CLIPPINGS.


 A sufferer in Western Union calls the Wall street magnate Jay Ghoul. xrrx>ks
 A young lady at a bal called her beau an Indian, because he was on her trail all the time.
 We speak of man as being in the autumn of life when his head has lost it's foliage. [ If woman should change her sex what would be her religion She would be a he then of course.
 r There are over $362, 900. 900 of national bank notes in circulation, and yet how often theygelude our grasp 5 Es sgg11 ahR J Alady' who drew a @gentlemanrs dressing gown at a recent church fair now wishes to draw good-looking young man to put in it.
 It is believed that Roscoe secured. Platt's reslgnation by giving himfa stick of candy and promising to take him to the circus. Beneath this stone, lump Of clay, Lies Arabella Young, a4e Who Oh the 24tL of May Began to hold her tongue. We don't see why the revised edition won't suit big percentage of folks. It has just as handsome bindings, looks as well On center table and is just as good to press leaves with. A man undertook the other day to make jury believe he was deaf, buta chap hired by the opposing counsel softly whispered, "Let's go out and drink" '" and the fellow heard him the first time.
 Morse, whe invented the telegraph, and Bell the inventor of the telephone, both had deaf mute wives. Little comment is neces. sary, but just see what a man can accomplish when everything is quiet.
 From the accounts given by the London pa- pers it seems that Archer won the Derby all by himself. Of course it was handy to have Iroquois along, but his presence did not affect the result
 If great many young mems clothes didn't fit them till they paid the tailor. we would see lots of noble young bloods going around town like loaded clothes line Tapping in the idle breeZes of a summer day.
 Address to bottles
 Iris very strange that you and
 Together cannot pull For you are full when am dry,
 And dry when am full z
 Probably the meanest man on record keeps aboarding house In San Domingo. Last win- ter an earthquake turned the edifice clear up- side down, and the very next morning he be- gan charging the garret lodgers first floor prices. 6fs%
 Henry" said his wife with chilling sever- ity, 'l saw you coming out of a saloon this afternoon" Well, my darling," responded the heartless man, ''you wouldn't have your husband staying in a saloon all day, would you?"
 ''There's one thing like about the new version," said old Blunderbuss ''That ere text about, ''the boy being father to the man, is left out altogether. l always thought that was wrong end to-" And he didn't know
 "Birde McWhirter That story about Stephane crying. at the altar because she re- cognized in the audience a young American with whom she fell violently in love three years ago is absurd. Mr. Tilden has not been out of this country for more than ten years.
 A man went through the bankruptcy court. He had owned fine horse and gig, and they both disappeared for a time, but by and by the horse and gig were doing service for the same owner agaiL. On being asked what this meant. the mans reply was: 'I went through the bankruptcy court, but the horse and gig went round" 5ss
 It was their first night aboard the steamer. "At last'' he said, tsnderly, i've are all alone, out upon the waters of the dark blue sea, and your heart will always beat. for me as it has beat in the past ?" My hearts all right" she answered, languidly, ''but, my stomach feels awful"
 The complaint that a man who has been President of the United States cannot find any proper employment afterwards is rather disgusting. ''An ex-Presldent." says the Cincinnatti Enquirer, '.cannot turn his hand to anything. He is surrounded by au at- mosphere of dignity. Who would want to see ans ex- President driving fmilk wagon ?" A great many people in Chicago would like to see an ex-Presiaent driving milk wagon in case he would get around on time and not water the milk. The people of this city are rich, but they are not proud. Chicaao Tribune