The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1881-12-07
Beneath big Noeace.
Dart not on Folly an indignant eye,

Dart not on Folly an indignant eve,
Who e'er discharged artillery on q fly 2"
There is much of wisdom in this couplet,
but we humbly beg the sage authors pardon
Tor a few moments While we pay our respects
to one 6. I. Spencer, Of G. T.. Spencer s. Co,
the owner under al $4,000 mortgage Of a
third part OF one third Of our valued contem-
porary. The immediate cause for this fusil-
ade on the household pest referred to in the
couplst is found in the fact that Mr.. Spencer
recently took occasion, publicly, to remark,
IN the presence of half a dozen men, most Of
whom despised him and his sheet, that I'VE
never pay any attention to the RIVER Press;
it IS beneath our notice!!" 1t does not matter
the weight of a feather to us whether Mr..
Healy,s paper notices US or not. That's not
the issue. We have no grievance whatever
en- that score. We have no fight with the
Record, but when such a thing IS Spencer
publicly pronounces the RIVER Press beneath
his notice We want it understood that we are
insulted. IL somebody who had q modicum
OF newspaper sense, made such a remark we
would bow in humble submission to his
judgment: but Spencer, poor, innocent, SIM
pie Spencer! Shade of Faust, forgive him
for he knows not what he says. spensy,
let US call your attention to a few facts that
may not have occurred to you before and
which, perhaps, on future occasions, will pre-
vent you from making an ass of yourself.
Did you know that the RIVER PRESS, although
but q year old, has more bona tide subscTib-
ers than the Record? Did you know that the
River Press, although but a year old, has
three friends il the county for every one the
iSecord has? Did you know that the RIyEs
Press, although but q year old, now makes
three dollars clear money for every one the
Record does, notwithstanding the latter has
four editors and a book keeper; did you know
the RIVER Press, although but q year old,
turns out twice as much job work as the
Record and does it in better style? If these
facts had not occurred to you before we
would advise you to cut out this slip and
paste it in your hat for future refege.s,e. An
occasional glance at it may kee;. 1ou from
giving yourself away and at the same, time
take q little of the conceit out Of you.
--- ~ssss~s
Notice b. sssa Ladies.
1t you want to make your h2sband, sweet
heart FOR brother q nice al useful holiday
present be sure and go to Cans s. Klein's.
Amy MAIL for azee?t
Scot any mail for Nee 2" inquired a large
and well-put-up stranger with dark whiszere,
stepping up to the general delivery window
Of the Helena post office one day last week.
The clerk put his face to the window, and
as he did not know the applicant, he said,
Sir ~
lis there any mail here for Nee ~ repeat
ed the man with the black Whiskers.
II don't believe I know you,' II the
clerk.
Il didn't ask you if you knew me- said
Che large man slightly ~irritated what | want
is to know if you have any mail here for
Nee"
TIL clerk began to suspect that he was
being joshed, and got a little warm under the
collar.
whats the matter with you, any way?
snapped he; s'haven't I told you that I don't
know you? Why don't you tell me your
name?"
Il did tell you my NAME" yociferated the
big man, croWding up close to the delivery
window.
mo you did Mt exclaimed the clerk;
.'you only asked If there was any mail for
II did Mt do anything of the kind" thun-
dered the other: II asked you if there was
any mail here for Nee? If there is any T
want it, and want it mighty quick tool"
TIE clerk had every appearance of a man
about to gmp through the delivery window
At the gentleman outside, as he shouted back;
That's just what I said-meI. lido MT
know you from a side of sole leather, and
that matter / do Mt want to; and il you
not going to tell me your name, / want
to get away from this window and give
:hese sane people a chance to get their mail.
AT this j%uncture a man who was one of the
crowd attracted by the dispute, stepped up
md smilingly explained that the gentleman
Who wanted his mail was Mr.. Richard Nee,
Benton. The clerk handed him out Two
etters, and Mr.. Nee, Of Benton, stepped out
# the Office looking as II he would like to
rain somebody, but didn't know exactly
whether to begin on himself or the clerk
.lndependent