The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1881-07-21

DOES NIGHT MAKE RIGHT.
derstands the Rules Of Railroad Tariffs.
From the Virginia New Chronicle. H..
A communistic person identified with the
dangerous classes of tho Comstock, and
notorious for his disregard for truth and
contempt for ves:ed rights. has just re-
turned from q visit to San Francisco. This
morning he endangered the good name Of
the Chronicle by entering its editorial
rooms. This nihilist declared that he had
"a good thing on Stanford and Steve Gage"
but he supposed the Chronicle, like the
rest of the corrupt and time deserving press,
would be afraid to publish it.
"Teu your story" SAID the editor with
dignity. gazing inquiringly at the boos OF
the Socialist, which was resting upon the
editorial table. The boot remained there,
however, while the following ridiculous
narrative was delivered:
It's fine weather at the bay, and every
body who can afford it takes . spin occa-
sionally out of the dust and heat. Last
Saturday Stanford and Gage were walking
along Kearney street, and when they got to
the corner of Bush, the Governor took off
his hat, wiped his brow, and remarked:
Steve, it's too hot for anything. What
do you say to breath of fresh air."
''Have We timer inquired Mr.. Gage,
pulling out his watch. So did the Govern
or, who replied:
"There isn't anything very pressing for
couple Of hours guess, and We may as
we'll take spin out to the park. It isn't
worth while to have out my horses. Let's
take hack, and thea we can enjoy a walk
when we get there. It'll be better than
riding around the drive"
So they got into coupe and were driven
out to Golden Gate Park. At the entrance
the Governor and Gage alighted.
What's the fare?' asked the Governor.
"Only SIS, Gu, 'nur."
What" yelled Stanford and Gage in the
same breath.
Fifteen dollars" repeated cabby, un-
bnttoniDg his coat and. splitting on his
hands.
But, my good man, " protested the Gov
ernor, ''such a charge is exhorbitant. The
law confines you to a reasonable price for
your services, and you can be arrested and
pan.shed for such violation of the ordi-
nance"
Hang the law growled cabby. NV
money bought and paid for this back an
letter to the New York Chamber of Com
merce, The essence of Ownership IL con-
troll"
HEN! coughed the governor, looking
slyly at Steve, who began to grin. "That's
all we'll enough when applied to my rail-
roads, but-but-er, now if you charge US
SIS to bring us to the park, what ON earth
would you charge to take us to the Cliff
house?'
"Five dollars"
From here:"
NO; from the city,"
But its twice the distance"
"Yes. but it's competitive point. Fiji
teen 10 the park, five to the Cliff. No hog
GIN about it. Through rates to the Cli0,
local rates back to the park added-just
as You fellows do when you charge $500
for drawing a ar-load of stuff from New
York to Frisco, and $500 If you drop the
car at Elko, about 500 miles nearer New
York."
It was Steve's turn to cough and the gov
ernor's turn to grin.
well, said the governor with sigh,
take US to the Cliff"
At the Cliff house the governor and Ste
phen drank their beer and smoked q cigar,
and listened to the barking of the seals, and
filled their lungs with the sea-breeze. Sud
denly Steve clapped himself on his leg and
cried out:
'By Jove, governor! forgot that lot OF
coal of Smiths that the sheriff is to sell a,
o'clock. It's2 now. If we miss that, d
chance to save at least thousand dollars
will be gone."
Good heavens!" cried the governor
to1S l.
at once. Driver! Oh, driver!"
Here, sir" answered cabby, who had
been leaning over the balcony pa1apet with
in earshot, "here, sir
We want to return to town Immediate
ly," cried Mr.. Gage.
Ea-as, I s'pose," said cabby, slowl,
chewing a straw, ''but I'll take my paw il
advance, if it's all the same to you, gents.
The governor growled somewhat between
his teeth and rendered him IS.
'Taint enough, said cabby coutemptu.
ously. -.
In Heavens sake, how far will your e.
toition go? snorted the governor. How
much do you want?"
Five hundred MORE" calmly replied the
hackmau.
"Hey?" shrieked Steve and the governor,
Five hundred, an not cent less" re.
piled cabby.
How, sir-er-damme sir! how do YOU
dare ask such price for driving two cen.
tlemen four or five miles?" spurted the
Governor.
based my charge on phat the traffic
1csN bear, same as the railroad Does" re-
pied the hickman, with grin. If tatere
IS selin' in Los Angeles for so cents a
bushel and SO bushel.at Tucson, you fel-
: lows charge the poor devil Of q rancher
. $3.50 bushel to haul his taters to Tue
SOD, and gobble all the croft Now I ain't
as hog,gish as that. i heered Mr.. Gage saw
it he could get into town by 3 o'clock he
could make o thousand dollars. As there
amt no other hack here, I'm as good
monopoly for this wunst as any blasted
r'ilroad on earth, but amt so greedy. !
don't want all YOU can make by usin' my
hack: I'm willin' is get along with half
Steve emptied their pockets and counted
out tn" money.
Now, see here, said cabby, az ne closed
the door Of the hack on his victims, 1--WE
done Tor wunst what you ROSTERS ilay in
ana day out have been doin' for years, and
made your millions by it. happen 10 be
able to give you small dose Of your own
medicine for wunst, an I don't want Won to
do no kickin.' know you Gun send me to
Jail for runnin' my business on your prin-
clples, but il you jails ne III have to
have yer blood when I get out an don,
yer forget it. ~.
Hereupon the hickman clapped the doc,
to with bang, and climbing to his seat
drove at rattling pace to the place where
the sheriff was about to sell out poor Smith,
Smith was q coaldealer, who didn't have
special rates.
When the Nihilist had finished this alb.
surd and ibelous tale he took his foot on
the editorial desk, laughing hoarsely, and
departed for the nearest saloon.
Honey Dew in Georgia.
From the Columbus (Gs.) Times.
, MIR. John Kee, of Talbot county. is re.
sponsible for the following: 1T was early
Sunday morning. My daughter was en-
gagged in sweeping off the front porch. when
her attention was attracted by the plaiutiye
cries of young chickens and the distressed
clucking Of hen. The sound came from
q. pile of leaves under some poplar trees in
the yard, and hurrying to the spot she