The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1881-03-22
FACETIE.


busy retail grocer. ~
Whom we all surely know, sir,
Was asked one day in a friendly way,
By a country chap who had come to stay
Till the mail came in at close of day,
"what are your gross receipts, sirF"
He, hei ha, hal no, hoi SIR"
Laughed the busy retail grocer.
As he pointed out. with laugh and shout.
The barrels and boxes ranged about,
"You can plainly see, beyond a doubt.
What are my grocery seats, sirl"
Cannibals sometimes have their neigh
bors ut dinner.
Boston girls never hang up their
stockings; an exchange says that they
suspend their hosiery.
Old Nickelpinch says he has often
seen men buck the tiger. but for his
part he would rather buckwheat cakes.
BE not east down, i~mpecunious sir;
there is a plenty of good things in store
for you. All you need is the money TO
yet them Il
Dr. Swing says that in time women
will develop into angels. No Il was
ever bold enough to accuse man of any
intentions in that direction.
To the query of a Danbury dentist
10 an applicant for a new set as to what
sort of teeth she wanted, she said,
something that won't show dirt"
..Afiiance oyster buyer is the latest
designation for a girls young man.
The name will be changed to s.engaged
ice cream purchaser in the summer.
The worst about kissing a Pittsburg
girl is that you carry the marks of coal
dust about your nose and other features
till you reach the nearest pump
burlington Hackeye.
A Northern paper praises the sin
dian Hair Restorer." He is a fraud.
No Indian was ever known to restore
any hair. He files it away as a certifi-
cate on which to draw rations from
Uucle Sam.
A young man. while out searching for
his fathers pig, accosted an Irishman
as follows: "Haye you seen a stray
pig about herePn Pat responded:
''Faix, how could l tell a stray pig from
my otherF"
A Milwaukee policeman has fallen
heir to $50, 900, and every female cook
on his beat wants him to keep his prom
Use at once, and he wonders how he's
going to avoid about fifty breach CT
promise suits.
.'Give me the hand that will never
deceive me-" said a young Harmelite
in the presence of some young ladies
the other evening. II guess" said a
young lady, "a straight flush is the
only kind Of a hand you want"
Rejected lovers need never despair.
There are four-and-twenty hours in a
day, and not a moment in the twenty
four in which a woman may not change
her mind. De Fenod.
Georgia is gradually arranging a mil
lcnnium of its own. The new Consti-
tuition of that State provides that tho
Legislature shall meet but once in two
years, and then sit but forty days.
Herr Reulaux, a German writer, has
described an elevated wooded valley in
the Rhine Province, in which the pas
cage of tho wind produces musical tones
wonderfully like the Ginning of bells.
Tl.ey were walking by the seaside.
and he sighed and she sighed; and she
was by his side, and he by her side, and
they were both beside themselves, be-
side being Mt the seaside, where sho
sighed and he sighed.
AndreW's Bazar says hat n lady
who owns an amiable husband was
asked how she had ever brought him
to such perfection; whereupon she
sweetly answered hat she did it with
q croquet mallet.
A shop was broken into one night
but strange to say, nothing was carried
of. The proprietor was making his
boast of it, at the same time expressing
his surprise at losing nothing. ''NotE-
ing at all surprising" said his neigh
bors; 1.-THE robbers lighted a LAM didn't
they?" Yes" was the reply. "Well."
continued the neighbor. ''they found
your goods marked up SO high they
couldn't afford to take them"