The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1881-07-28


I'd miss connections for lots Of men,
I'd run lone passengers past;
I'd tell them twas eight, when I knew twas
And "a I'd swear their watches we're fast
For couldn't afford to be civil
When knew every man in the load,
Would look at my watch and Rug, and say,
He at .le them things from the road"
Burlington Hawkeye.
RETIRING FROM BUSINESS.
BY BRET HARTE.
What the colonel's business was nobody
knew, nor did anybody care particularly.
He purchased for cash only. and never
grumbledat the pr,ce ofanything he wanted
who could do moro than that?
Curious people occasionally wondered
how, when it had been fully two years
since the colonel, with every one else,
had abandoned Dutch creek to the Chinese
he managed to spend money freely and to
lose considerably at cards and horse races.
In fact the keeper of that one of the Chal-
lenge hill saloons which the colonel did
not patronize was once heard to wonder
absent mindedly wheher the colonel hadn't
a money mill somewhere. where he turned
out eagles and "slugs" (the coast name for
$50 gold pieces).
When SO publica parsonage rs a bar
tender INDUCED publicly in the idea, the
inhabitants Of Challenge hill, like good
Californians everywhere. considered them
selves in duty bound to give tgrave consid-
Grafton; so, for a few days, certain indus
trious professional gentlemen who won
money of the colonel carefully weighed
some of the brightest peices and tested
them with acids, and sawed them in two,
and retired them, and melted them up, anu
had the Jumps assayed.
The result was complete vindication Of
the colonel and loss of considerable GUS
tom by the indiscreet barkeeper.
The colonel was as good-natured man
rs had ever been known on Challenge hill,
ional times of dependency, and one of
them occurred after series of races in
which he had staked his all on his bay mare
Tipsie and had lost.
Looking reproachfully at his beloved ami
NAL, he failed to heed the aching void Of
his pockets, and drinking deeply. swearing
oquent]y and glazing defiantly at all man
kind were equally unproductive Of coin.
> The boys at the saloon sympathized most
feelingly with the colonel. They were un-
ceasing in their invitations to drink, and
they exhibited considerable Christian for
bearance when the colonel savagely dissent
cd with every one who advanced any prop
osition, no matter how controvertible. But
unappreciated sympathy grows decidedly
tiresome to the giver, and it was with feel
ing of relief TINT TIE boys eaw the colonel
stride out of the saloon, mount Tipsie and
gallop furiously away.
Riding on horseback has always been
considered an excellent sort of exercise,
aud riding is universally admitted to be one
of the most healthful means of exhilara-
ton in the world. When man is so alb
sorbed in his exercise that he will not stop
to speak to friend, and when his exhilar-
alton is SO complete that be turns his eyes
from we'll meaning thumbs pointing insig-
nificantly into doorways through which a
man has often passed while seeking brac-
ing influences, it is but natural that people
should express some wonder.
The colonel was we'll known at Todly
Flat, Come Hand, Blazers, Murderer's Bar
and several other villages through which
he passed. As no one had been seen to
precede him, betting men were soon Offer
ing odds that the colonel was running away
from somebody.
Strictly speaking they were wrong, but
they won all the money that had been stalk
I'd against them, fer within half IN hour
there passed over the same road an anxious
looking individual who reined up in front
OF the principal saloon of each place and
asked if the colonel had passed.
Had the gallant colonel known that he
was followed, and by whom, there would
eli hA1l H. IL
ter place vo"7 shortly after, for the pursuer
was the Constable, and for all officers Of the
law the colonel possessed hatred.
On galloped the colonel. following the
stage road, which threaded the old mining
camps on Dutch creek, but suddenly he
turned out of the road and urged his horse
through the young pines and bushes, which
grew thickly by the road, while the consta-
Die gallOped on to the next camp.
There seemed to be no path through the
thicket into which the colonel had turned
but Tipsie walked between tho trees and
shrubs as if they we're familiar objects Of
her stable yard.
Suddenly voice from the bushes
Cd:
whats up?"
Business that's what"
It's time, replied the voice, and its
owner--a bearded eix-footer, emerged
from the bushes and stroked Tipsie's nose
with the freedom of an old acquaintance.
We amt had a nip since last night. and
there amt cracker or handful of -four
in the shanty. The old girl 60 back on
yer?"
YES" replied the colonel, ruefully: "los,
every blasted race. 'Twas'nt her fault
bless her-she done her best. Ey'ryboly
to home?"
You bet," said the man. "All been O
prayin' for yer to turn up with the rocks an
somthin' with more color than spring water
Come on.
The man led the way and Tipsie and the
colonel followed, and the trio suddenly
found themselves before log hut, in front
OF which sat three solemn, disconsolate in
dividuals, who looked appealingly at the
colonel.
"Mack1l tell yer how t was, fellers, said
the colonel, meekly, "while pocket the
mare"
The colonel was absent but a verv few
moments, but when he returned each OF
the four was attired in pistol and knife,
while Mack was distributing some dominoes
made from rather dirty -four sack.
faint SO late as all that, is it," INQUIRED
the colonel.
Better be an hour ahead than a miss in
this ere night" said one of the four. Il
amt been so thirsty since We came round
the horn in 80, an We run snort of water.
Somebody II get hurt if there amt any Bit
ters in the old concern-they will, or nv
name amt Perkins!"
Don't count your chickens fore they're
Matched, Perky, said one of the crowd. as
he adjusted the domino under tho rim Of
his hat. "S'posin' there should be too
many for us?"
Study, stiddy, Cranks!" demonstrated
the colonel. Nobody gets along of them
low themselves to be skeered."
Fact" chimed in the smallest and thin.
nest man in the party "The Bible saws
somethin' mighty hot bout that. I disre.
member dzactly bow it goes, but I've bern
parso1 Buzzy, down in Maine, preach rip
PIN Old sermons many . time. The old
man never thort what comfort them ser.
mons wuz agoin' to be to q road agent,
though. The time we stopped Slim Mikes
sage and he didn't have no more manners
than to draw on me, them sermons was a
perfect blessing to me-the thorts Of them
cleaned my head as quick as q cocktail.
=! don't want to dispute Loeroller's pious
strain, interrupted tie colonel; but ez It