davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1881-11-05

The town crier--A brand new infunt.
The cure that sick politicians refer.
Sinecure.
Profanity is disgusting habit--of curse
it is.
"A little nut brown made--A peanut in
a roaster.
"A creditors motto-Never put on till
tomorrow what can he dunned to-day.
1t is in the Welsh language that they
give word to the yys.
One can see pick chewer gallery almost
any day in front of our public houses.
Smelling salts have assisted at more re-
vivals than all the ministers put together.
If you don't feel able to harness a clam
perhaps you could saddle rocks.
"A correspondent writes to know if be
can secure a berth on board a cnurtship.
"A homely young girl has the consols-
tion of knowing that, il she Uyes 10 be forty =,
she'll be pretty old girl.
"A man beat his worthless wife to jelly
and got a position next day as baggage
smasher.
The James boys are very successful as
railroad brakeman. They not only break
train but every passenger on it.
"A recipe for lemon pie vaguely adds /;
"Then sit on a stove, and stir constantly" :"
Just as II anything could sit on a stove with
out stirring constantly.
-"Down 'front.'" exclaimed the men in
the back seatsj and three young gentelmen
were seen TO raise their fingers in an ab-
stracLed manner 10 their upper lips.
The old saw says. "Little head, little
witt big head not a Bit" OF course, the
man with the big head is dull; it takes SO
long TO get anything through his head.
The policeman had LEFT his revolver at
home, and he needed one to shoot a mad
dog. In the emergency he exclaimed,
"Great heavens, is there Texas man pres
emit"
"A piper In a Northumbrain town was
once asked If he could play within Mile
O. Edinbro' TOon." "within a mile % he
exclaimed. "wey, maun, could play with
in ten yards oo't."
The real dimensions Of a man consists
in the size Of the moral shadow he casts
Ex. If that's the case some people can 60
and hide themselves behind match.
"A lot OF Boston girls are going West in
bunch TO get married. Poor boys, when
you all skipped to the plains we thought
you would be safe, bu., alas they're on the
trail.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1881-11-05

--"Hans, did | understand you 10 say
your wife was lazy 2" "Mebbe you un-
derstoOdt IL dot | said 50, shudge, but my
mouth wasn't made for the English lauk.
wage unl dot vas der reason. vot | did
saidt, shudge, vos dot mine irou vas der
kindt of'a vowman dot vouldt rather put
auf will yesterday der york dot maybe some
one don't want to help her done tomorrow
dedt,"
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1881-11-05
FARM NOTES.

I'm feeding stock the aim should always
BE TO feed exactly as much as can be fed to
the best advantage, and not just 80 much
because your grandfather did.
The dairyman who soils his cows, re-
lying mainly on meal, bran and oil cake,
will not find bis yield shrinking now like
those Of his neighbors, who depend on pas
lures. His expense, of course, will be in.
creased, but he will have a continuous yield
and higher prices as an offset.
Sheep provided with cotton seed meal
as an auxiliary feed are the best restorers of
worn-out pastures.
The heaviest bunch Of black grapes that
has ever been recorded weighed 2S pounds
ounces; length, "a inches, aud width
across the shoulders, % inches.
The strongest known glue is that made
from the skins and sounds of fishes, and the
strongest Of this class is made in Lapland
from the skin Of a perch.
Sizing for gold leaf should always be
put on as thin as possible tn prevent the
gold from sinking into the size. 1t should
have tac. sufficient only to take the gold.
"A pound of bones contains as much
phosphoric scid as 100 pounds of wheat.
On many farms there are bones enough
wasted to supply Phosphoric acid for all the
wheat consumed.
r For killing grass and weeds on gravel
walks there is nothing better than mode
rately strong brine One application is not
sufficient, hut il must be kept up persist.
entity, and especially after rain.
There are a lew COWS So constituted thai
their milk cannot be largely improved, both
IN quantity and quaii'y, by n careful atten.
tion TO the wants Of the animal. Good feed
and warm barn viii 90 far toward accom-,
plishipg this desirable resul,
"A very thin on6i 81 ynrnish wll nu
make good finish ,Jecause IL has 10 depth
and an extra heavy cat will not renal.
brillIsnt, because it cannot set or harder
through equally. A medium between th,
two will give the desired results.
The term hybrid is quite loosely uso,
BY many hoIticullnrsts and farmers. Iftw
varieties of one species are united or crossei
we get variety hybrid il fvo species Il
ono genus are crossed we get a species hy
brid; II two species of different genera ar
srcsaed, we get genus hybrid.
Cuttings Of carran,s and g0oseberre
should be made in the fall soon after fros
lied in bundles aud packed away in th
cellar or buried in a dry place aud covere
with horse manure until spring. They wi
then be iound nicely calluus-d aud ready
take mot as soon as SIT.
"A paper said to be proof against 6re an
water Is prepared in this way: Afler mi,
tam of two-thirds ordinary paper pnlp an
oHe-third asbestos has been thoroughly il
eorporated, II is stepped in solution of con
mon salt end alum. It s then made int
paper. which is finally coated with shell,
Yarnish.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1881-11-05
lMilwaukee Sentinel J

That wonderful remedy for rheumatism
st. Jacobs Oil, has been used by lar. G
number cl people in this city, and with
effect truly marvellous. Frequent rcpo I;
are made where sufferers have been at or l.
ed relief, and the sale is growing largely
The fact thut 1t isau external remedy, com.
mends it To- many who would not utherw isC
think of going out of the beaten track to fine
a remedy.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1881-11-05
mIscELLaNEous.

The recent exploration party Of Colon
Mercer up the Spanish River, in Ontario, il
said to have discovered vast pine fores
containing upward Of 24,OOO,OOO feet of o
superior quality Of pine timber, with facl-
tiles for getting il to the market equal to the
best.
-Isaec shafer was husking corn at Bare
willie, Lancaster county, OF Friday of last
week, whom he fell dead of heart disease
lie was sixty-fv years old.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1881-11-05
A world of Good.

One Of the most popular medicines now
before the American public, is Hop Btters
You sec it everywhere. People take it with
good effect 1t builds them up. 1t is not as
pleasant to the taste as some other Bitters as
it is not a whiskey drink. 1t is more like
the old fashioned boneset tea, that has done
world of good. If you don't feel just right
try Hop Bitters.-Nurdd Netos.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1881-11-05
What Ais YOu1

Is il disordered liver giving you a yell
low skin or costive bowels which have re.
suited in distressing piles or do your kid
neys refuse TO preform their fune,ioDs1 II
50, Your system will 50 be clogged with
poisons. Take few doses of Kidney Wort
and you II feel like new man-nature will
throw off every impediment and each organ
will be ready for duty. Druggists sell botl
the dry and liquid. II Evansville Tribune.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1881-11-05
FARMERS COLUMN.
Do AgrIeultura, Fnir. Pay !

DO AEricuitNr1t kNtrH ray
Jake Erin : secncd to be nettlcd by Pas
tor 7pooaor's allusnn to the White Oaks,
and the charcoal business, which his son
Kur still fbllnws. He said, al guess there's
more truth than poetry in what Mr.. Spoon.
or says The White Oaks looks jest as IL
used TO when was boy, aud, for the life
o. fus. I don't see emmy chance E,7 improve
ment. Yc sec, the country Is rocky, and the
sle t,kos as na,orally ~ white birches.
pitch pine, and scrub oaks as a duck does to
water lra felIer gets It livin'at aIl,up there
he's got to git il selling w,nd. aud charcoal.
Nuihin else pays, AMI that don't much. II
felier undertakes to olear up land, il cots
- he can plow, and il he sows rye,or plants
o,,rn, the crop won't pay, without manure,
and where's your manure comiug from when
ya're ten miles from the shore and sea weed
and haven't got anything but charcoal or
wosd 10 buy Il with? Ye zee. it's up hill
business for the White Oaks, and It is no
use N talk about tho fairs doing the White
Oakers emmy good. Fact Is, they don't 90
much, and It's just as we'll as il they did.
And IL amt much better here in Hooker
town. He knew Deacon Smith and Squire
Banker and them folks that had money
plenty raised better things than they used
10, aud took premiums, AMI they might
makr il ray. but he had sent things 70
the fair for several years. but never got a
red cent for premium. My wife, Polly
gits premiums on butter, bread. and bed
qnilts, sometimes. and COMES home so 20
mp that there's no liviu' with her for week
sitter the fair. But it don't seem to be fol
me TO git snything in that line, and have
pretty nsnch made up my mind that the
fairs are all teik and no cid-r.'"--T BuSK.
IN, in Nnverni,er's Ame'ieqn Aqrieuitarist.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1881-11-05
Guaranteed by all drnggis,s.

An imperinent fop made sport of an
old farmers large nose, mouth and ears, but
the old iarmer silenced him, saying "Youl
nose, mouth and chin all had TO be lnadr
small go that there'd be material left fol
your cheek
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1881-11-05
AN ON woMAN,s AbvIoE.

kunt Rachel, writing TO the Cincinnati
Enquirer, says; "Wben you feel uuwell
Rnd think you must take medicine, for
goodness sake get the best Ifyou need a
remedy that will make you regular in your
habiis, give You good natural appetite,
make your skin clear and smooth, aud re
noYe all spots and blemishes that indicste
ill-health, fyou wish to be free from men-
tal depression, ,frelfulucss, peevishnesss wake
falness and other disorders, use Browns
Iron Bittes."
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1881-11-05

The art Of fermenting the oporto Grape
into wine in this country has been brought
to a greater degree Of perfection by Mr.. AL
fred spcer, Of Psssiac, New Jersey, than by
any other person; and his wine is very
popular as ladies' wine, ns we'll as for the
communion table and for invalids.
This wine ia for sale by our Druggists
A. J. Durling and c. T. Horn M. D. ,Lehigh.
ton, and zern & Rapsherj Druggist, Weiss.
port, Pa.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1881-11-05

-"say, boy, called woman to boro-
foot lad, and admonishingly shaking fore
finger, "what are you throwing water on
that cat fur3" "The water wont hurt the
cats fur" replied the youth. The woman
whose grammar was rebuked said she didn't
want any of his "sass."
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1881-11-05

The "utterly utter" kind Of talk has in.
fected the street gamins, ono Of whom, af.
ter picking up more tl,an usually frag
rant cigar stump exclaimed to his friend
"Jsck, this is quite too positively bully"
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1881-11-05

5 own sou loan me ten cents?" said Que
ipebrate to another. "No, not dime aware
Of" wcs the answer. That was a centsib' e
answer, but it Indicated that they were both
in close quarters.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1881-11-05

-Squibs was asked what made his face
so red. lie said he hud been down South
for a while, and he supposed that's how he
6 so Florida complexion. squibs is truth,
full, of course.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1881-11-05

After suffering for years and trying hun
dreds ofoiher so.called remedies, for acidlty
of the stomach aud indigestion. without
any benefit, D. r. v. G. has given mo in
stant relief. D. n. V. q. will do all claim.
ed for it. s. G. Ludham,
Local Editor,
Syracuse Courier,
Syracuse N. Y.
Guaranteed hy all druggists.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1881-11-05
$500 Reward
e. MS.

Inventors will Advance their Interests by
Employing an Experienced Attorney resident
In ashingt0n. y. A. Lehman. Solicitor OF
American and Foreign Patents, Washing
ton, ID. o., has had years Of successful Prac-
tice, and was formerly an Exeminer Of Pa
tents In the Patent Of1ee. All business be-
fore the Courts or the Department promptly
attended 10. Fee contingent upon success
Send for Circular. April % tEcor
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1881-11-05
THE GREAT
BURLINGTON ROUTE.

eB-No other line runs Three Through Pnss
senger Trains Daily between Chicago, Dea
Moines, Council Bluffs, Omahn, Lincoln, st.
Joseph, Atchison, Topeka md Kansas City,
Direct connections for all points In Kansas,
Nebraska, Colorado, Wyoming. Montana, Ne.
yada. New Mexico, Arizona, Idaho, Oregon and
California.
The Shortest, speedest and Most Comforta.
BILE Route via Hannibal to Fort Scott, Denison,
Dallas, Houston, Austin, San Antonio, Calves
ton and all points in Texas.
The uncQualed inducements offered by this
Line to Travellers and Tourists, are rs fellows:
The celebrated Pullman uG-wheeD Palace
Sleeping Cars, run only on this Line, c., Il. e
o. Palace Drawing-Room Cara, with Horizons
Reclining Chairs. No extra charge for Seats
Palace Dining Cars. Gorgeous Smoking Cars
volving Chairs for the exclusive use OF FIRST
clnss passengers.
Steel Track and Superior Equipment. oom-
bined with their Great Through Car Arrange
ment, makes this, above oil others, the fQvorite
Route to the South, Southwest, and the Far
West.
Try II, and you will find travclins, n luxury
instead of n discomfort.
Through Tickets via this Celebrated Line
for sale at all Offices IN the United States and
Canada
All information about Rates of Farc, Sleeps
ing Car Accommodations, Time Tables, 6c.s
will he checrfuly giren.hy applying to
]. Q. A. BEAN, Geai Eastorn Agent,
Jos Washington ST., Boston. Mass.
and 3i7 Broadway, New York.
JAMES n. WOOD, Gen. Pass. Aft., Chicago.
I. j. POTTER, Gen. Manager, Chicago.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1881-11-05
Inpor,an. to .rrnreIer..

SPECIAL INDUCEMENTS are offered you by
the BURLINGTON ROuTE. 1t will pay you to
read their advertisement to be found else
where in this issue.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1881-11-05
No Pate nt-No Pay.
PATENTS

obtained for Inventors In the United States
Canada and Europe, at reduced rates. With
our principal office located in Washington,
directly opposite the United States Patent
once, we are able to attend to all patent
business with greater promptness and de-
spAtoh and at less cost than other patent at
torneys who are at distance FROM Wash
ington, and who have, therefore, TO employ
"assoeiate attorneys" We make preliminary
examinations aud furnish opinions as to pa-
tentability, free of charge, and all who are
interested In new inventions aud PATENTS sse
invited to send for a copy Of our "duide for
obtaining Patents" which Is sent free TO
any address, aud contains comYlete instrue-
tions how 20 obtain patents and other Valua.
BILE matter. We refer to tho q arman-Ame
lean National Bank, Washington, d. o. ; the
Royal Swedish, Norwegian and Danish Lega.
tions, at Washington Hon. jos. Casey, late
Ohiet Justice u. 5. Court OF Claims; 10 the
Othci0ls Of the u. s Patent q Iioe. aud TO
Senators and Members OF Congress from
every state.
Address LOUIS BAGGER h 90, So
licitors Of Patents and Attorneys at Law, Le-
Droit building, WA6HlNoToN, %. a.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1881-11-05

have used your d. n. v. G. dysrepslr
remedy aud recommend it for dyspep,ia
and troubles arising from it.
n. L. Sullivan. NJ. H.,
Memphis, n. Y.
Z Guaranteed by all druggists
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1881-11-05
JUBILEE ORGANS

LIFE and DEATH of JAMES A. GARFIELD
rrgs & Y; 9M AGENTS WANTED 1N & 66K b S S t hT
AE so nar cent discount to Agents osoEEs T f oGIts
~ 4TH
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1881-11-05
MAH%ED \s.s4s 75s q. GOLDEN
D A w N .isE.F 4r; klsET FSrTns OK TTs

D A w N GnEHF CT ElSTr fGrrRs PS T"s
in this HE, through the dark valley, and In
the life eternal MS seen in the best thoughts
Of leading authors and scholars. among whom
are Bishops Simpson, Foster Wa ren. Hurst
and Foss, Joseph Cook, Bcecher, Talmage,
DIR, Currie, DIR. March pr McGosh, Dr. eros.
by, DR.. CuS Ter. Heo. u. Prentice, nean Sian.
ly, Whittier, Longfellow, and others. The
sulecls treated are Death Immortality,
Millennium and Second Advent. the Resur-
recti"n, Judgment, the Punishment of the
Wicked. and the Reward of the RighGOus.
A rich least awaits the reader OF this book. L,
contains the grandest though OF the worlds
greatest authros. un subjects of the most pro
found intertst to everyone. Not gloomy but
brilliant. There is not u duh page In the
book. 1t is absolutely without rival Every.
body will read It. School Tehchers, Students
Young Men amt Ladies, acting as agents for
this book are makins over 800 a month. Sells
fast. One agent sold II fret Is days, another
as IN davs. another II in one day. another
l6 aud Bibles in days, lady sold in 10
hours. Secure territory quick. Also agents
wanted for the best illustrated Revised New
Tes; lament, and for the finest Family Bibles
ever sold by agents. Send for circulars
y. W ZiEGLER & 10, el5 Arch ST., Phil
delrhia, Pa. l50 H. Adams ST., Chicago, Ill.
aug. l32m.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1881-11-05
VNO Whom 1t May Concern.

Al persons arc hereby forbid meddllng with
o BROWN HORSE loaned by the under
signed to WILSON SWARTwOnD, OF Ma
hOning Valley, Pa, as said horse Is the prop
erty Of PETER SWARTWOOD.
Sept II, le6l-wSs Mahonlng Twp, Pa.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1881-11-05
&OMDTE EERS.

A. A. THOMAS, Corner Ninth and F
Streets. Washington, ID. o., attends to PEN
sion and Back Pay. Bounty Claims collect
ed. Contested LsLd Claims, Mineral and
A Agriculturai; attended TO before the Depart
ment Of the Interior and Supreme Court.
Land Scrip and Additional Homesteads pur-
chased and sold. ADrll 28-tf-cor.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1881-11-05
5000 AGENTS WANTED TO SELL THE
LIFE OF GARFIELD!

His early life and career as soldier and states-
man; his election and administrati his as
sassination; his heroic Struggle for life; won-
derful medical treatment; blood. poisoning /;
his wife and n Hother scene of the shooting |;
the sick chamker; Guiteau In his cell the
surgeons, and the Cabinet. The only cox
PLErR and AUTHENTIC work. There Is a for
tune for agents first in the field with this
book. Outht Soc Speak quick. Address,
HUBBARD BROS, 723 Chestnut Street,
Philadelphia, Pa. oct29.W4
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1881-08-16

are slowly starving at period of infancy when deye
opmeni and growth are remarkably active, because
Of inability of mothers TO furnish the necessary nufr
ment on account OF ovtrtaxing the nervous system
ana oy PROLONGED lactation, thus lowering the STAN
dard of health in both, ~
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1881-08-16
when 10 Feed Grain TO Horses.

Horses are provided with AN unusually
large development Of the salivary glands.
and an enormous quantity OF saliva is Sc
creted during the eating of a feed of grain
or hay. This copious supply of saliva is
il amply sufficient to moisten and dilute
the food. 50 that can he digested perfectly
without the help Of water. Water is
absorbed by the coats of the stomach and
enters the blood with such rapidity that a
thirsty horse will drink more water than
the stomach will contain at one time. and
the water begins to pass of through the
kidneys in such case. after the lapse Of
very few minutes. So that. knowing these
FACTS. one may naturally infer that horse
may be watered few minutes before
feeding with more advantage than n few
minutes afterward. because in the former
case the water has been absorbed before
the food is swallowed. and digestion can
not be interferred with BY the presence of
too much water in the stomach. AS might
happen in the latter case. The best prac-
ticc Il that usually followed, namely. to
give the horse very little water on start
ing out to work after feeding in the morn
ing; to water on coming at noon. and in
the evening. before EMBARRASSING and
feeding. This gives time for the absorb
ton Of the water before the food enters
the stomach. -Rural Ner Yorker.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1881-08-16

We are now approaching the critical
point IN the culture Of our corn in New
EngIand. Now Is the time to cultivate
with the object Of increasing the crop. A
tborough, deep cultivation, close to the
hills, Just previous To the appearance Of
dc tasseI. may be expected, on rich soil.
70 increase the crop very largely. This
cultivation Is root pruning. The object is
TO check the plant for a short time, while
the plant Is in the vigor Of growth. 50 that
the juices shall have, time for elaboration.
and thus the direction of the yigor shall
become changed from leaf-growth to tn
formation and increased development OF
the kernels and ears.
Let the inquisifive observer now take a
stalk Of corn, and with sharp knife d.
vide at each joint. A little care viii en-
able the experimental to dlssect from the
five lower joints. in many varieties. a
small embryo ear Of corn. Let small
magnifying glass be applied. and these
small ears will be seen To be covered with
kernels ready for fertilization when a lit
tie more growth Is attained. 1t will also
be noticed that the upper of these ears Is
the largest, and that their size diminishes
~ they are taken from the nodes lower
down. In the ordinary course OF growth
the upper ear aftains it, ripeness for the
pollen the first. and this while the pol
len Is falling from the tassels. When
the second little ear has attained its ripe
ness for fertilization the pollen has now ia. !.
len, and not receiving the fruitful adjunct,
the ear ceases growth and gradually wishers
Now bv root-pruning, or other agency,
which at this period shall check extension
Of lea. we delay the growth Of the upper
ear and OF the pollen-bearing stalk. and
give opportunity tor the lower ears to
catch up. have known judicious sys-
tenn OF root-pruning, as practiced on ex-
perimental plats. to treble the corn yield.
and Ia the case Of single hills have forced
one seed to bear 20 ears OF corn.
OF course. II the soil Is too infertile to
bear more than small crop. there is no
gain In stimulating the plant to form more
ears than the fertility of the land can car
ry, but on land rich enough TO raise 100
bushels Of crop. it is certainly unwise to
be satisfied with nominal yield Of 10 or
80 bushels.
One consideration takes this instruction
from the ccnsure Of being merely theoret-
ical. This Is written at a season when
any doubling farmer can easily verify the
statements, both by examining the stalks
now growing. and by measuring off two
small plats and heavily root-pruning one
The yield at harvest of these two plats viii
indicate quite clearly the nature OF this
advice.
find no difficulty now in attaining an
average crop of Is to 80 bushels on large
areas. where few years ago | was salts
fed with crop Of 30 bushels per acre for
small area. Mr.. Bowditch by very Sc
we're root-pruning, averaged last year on
field of II acres. to which no hand labor
had been applied. 100 measured bushels
per acre.-Dr. Il. l.. Sturterant in Spring
field Republican.