Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1881-12-12
WILL THE END OF THE
WORLD COME THIS
YEARP


isfied to have the matter definitely set
tied. And We can tell you positively
that it will. We know as much about
it as Prof. Proctor. as Prof. Swift, as
the Smithsonian Institute, and as the
National Observatory, and more than
the .. S. Signal Service. You have
been tormented and tortured, no doubt,
by Mother Shipton, and by the comet,
and the Canadian farmer who built him
an ark, and had it all ready to launch
for the 10Th of June-he can go into the
ferry business with it now, or sell it to
the Mississippi Barge and Transporta-
tion company-and by the Millerites.
and by one fool thing and another, until
your mind is distracted and you can't
sleep, and don't think it worth while to
pay your debts. All the same, you will
have to pay, or 60 out of business. And
if the world should come to an end at
ten o'clock tomorrow morning, up to
9:45 a. m. money would be eight per
cent, on gilt-edge paper, and none too
easy to get then.
So you see the fact that the world is
coming to an end won't make any differ
ence in your business affairs. 1t won't
make any change in the shallowness of
the strawberry boxes this season; the
good berries will all be on the top, the
same as last year. With eternity star
ing time in the face mankind will 60
right on. swindling and lying, and pray
ing and singing and swearing and deal
ing dishonesty, and doing tricky things,
loving and hating, laughing and weep
ing until the end comes and the lips
that cursed or prayed are hushed alike
in the quiet of death.
For the world is coming to an end.
And the comet can't hasten and a mil
lion comets can't retard its coming. 1t
is bound to come this year. There is
no help for it. If it scares you We can't
help it. We must tell the truth about
this thing, since you have asked US
what We know about it. And, indeed,
we know more than we have told. The
end of all things terrestrial is coming
tomorrow, and you can't stop it by
climbing tree or crawling into cave.
Every day and every hour the end of
the world comes to some unsuspecting
mortal, who is only thinking up his
plans for next summer. or studying over
a "hoss trade he has in, his mind for
next week. Every time your heart
beats the end of the world comes to some
one, and just as sure as you have, or
more surely if you have not, paid your
newspaper subscription, it is coming to
you. And, good subscriber. fearful and
troubled about comets and many things,
when it does come, if it catches you off
your feet with your business raveling
out at the edges, your bills unsettled,
your notes protested, your subscription
not paid, your pew rent overdue and
your pastor running into debt for his
living, with your conscience burdened
with wrongs and your life bristling with
uncorrected and unrepentant faults, you
won't need any comet nor any long pro-
cession of perihelia to scare you. You
won't think of the planets then, good
man. You will think about the horse
with SPAWN you sold to poor Green
wig; you will think about the shoddy
four-dollar overcoat you sold poor Hay
seed for $3.50; you will think about
the quarts of strawberries you sold ev-
cry year in pint boxes; you will remem-
Der the seven cent print you sold to
old Mrs. Thistlepod for fourteen cents
you will think about the frkin of axle
grease you painted with butter and sold
for thirty-seven cents pound for table
use; you will think of the mortgage you
foreclosed on poor Ragweed's farm after
he had paid you thirteen per cent. fol
ten years; you will think of the loads
of three-feet cord-wood you hauled tc
town and sold at full market price; you
, will think of the sand you sifted in the
brown sugar; you will remember how
, you sold l.70O pounds of coal for ton
you will think of the paper you took fol
, year and a half and never paid for
you will recall thousand little mean
nesses and weaknesses of which you have
been guilty; you will think how you
made your money. and how precious lit
tie good it is going to do you in the
country whittier you are going; and
, poor man, if you have fastened you
, faith and trust to nothing better thar
Mother Shipton, or Vennor. or Genera
, Hazen, or some celestial tramp of com
, ct, the sound of the trumpet, the voices
of the beasts, the seven thnnders, th,
, hail and fire mingled with blood. tn,
, darkened sun, the vials of wrath and th,
: voice of the eagle could not add to you
fears. When the end Of the worlc
: comes for you, that will be the only enc
you will take any interest in. 1t will
f be awful enough for you, if it comes be
: fore you are ready for it, and unless 20,