Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1881-03-07
MIR. NASBY GIVES AN AC-
COUNT OF HIS FIRST
MARRIAGE.
CoNFEDRIT X ROADS, !
(Which is in the State of Kentucky,


L
wuz to lay under trees all day and COM
mune with nacher, onless ther wuz
grosery convenient, with some stranger
in it, which wuz liable to ask the house
up to take suthin. l didn't feel the
need Nv much eggsercise, but wat l
needed | Good git at playin' seven-up or
euker in the grosery | hev mershuned.
Shufain and deelin keerds develops the
muscles Nv the arm wonderful. Billyards
wuz alluz too much for me.
The time cum, however, when 1t be-
cum necessary to do suthin for liveli-
hood. | wuz too yung to 60 into poll
Tx, and the old man, my father, he got
to that age when it wuz all he Good do
to borror for hissef. He wuz gettin
old, and wuznt ez strong ez he wunst
he'd bin. He intimatid to me that the
sooner shifted for myself the better
he'd be pleased. Wat Good do :? l he'd
no profeshen that wood enable me to
live withou laber, and laber l wooden't.
My father solved the problem. "Mar-
ry widder," said he-"a widder with
a farm, aud make her do the work. Yoo
are ekal to overseein farm. Amt
yer ?"
| remarked that [ Good see other men
SWEET without materially fatiguin N.Y.
self, and that l shot his segestion good
one. wood adopt it.
Hard by wuz the widder Tompson,
wich wuz the owner Nv one Nv the best
farms Nv the seckshun. 1t wuz 200
akers of good land. we'll improved and
well stocked. She wuzn't eggsackly
wat wood be called handsome woman,
and wuz Is years older than me, but |
didn't mind that. What cared | that
her teeth wuz all out, and that she he'd
a goiter, and weighed 200 pounds Wat
cared | that she he'd habit Nv goin
about with her stockins down at her
keels. and that she considered the time
spent in comm her hair ez wastid She
he'd farm. and that was enuff for me.
laid siege to this venerable female.
and to my delite found her not averse
to second chance at matrimony. |
wuz helthy young man, and not bad
lookin, and looked ez tho [ mite run
two or three farms to wunst. She wuz
rather lonesome on the farm, and it cost
pile Nv money to hire help, and then
they needed man to look after EN- !;
and to make long story short, she ac-
cepted me, and we wuz yoonited in the
holy bonds Nv matrimony.
For few days lived in elysium,
whatever that may be. he'd the best
Nv eatin. suthin the Nasby family did
not indulge in. and Mrs. Nasty wuz ez
complaisant ez woman Good be. : he'd
cider to drink. the late Tompson left a
good supply Nv terbacker, and things
wuz going ez smooth ez Good be.
The fourth day Mrs. Nasty remark
ed that we he'd he'd long rest. and it
wuz time we got about our work.
"Pete," said she. "yoo want to take
the oxen this mornin and 60 and break
that lot behind the barn. 1t must be
done at wonst, and shood hev bin done
week ago, but for this marryin biznis. "
"Excoose me. Mrs. Nasby," sez l,
goin out and layin down under a apple
tree, with my pipe lightid, "breakin
ground is not my best holt. This scots
me better. didn't marry to break
ground
What" she eggsclaimed.
! "I merely say shall not break
grounds. My bizins on this farm i:
merely ornamental. | am willin to &C
and lay down in the feeld to be broke
and oversee the breaking. pervided there
is shade tree under which | kin lay
But ez for takin bold Nv plow myself
never" aHp :. 1
The woman looked at me in a dazeC
sort of way. for mint. She he'd il
her rite hand pale of soap-suds Wicf
she wuz a goin to pour on the roots u
grapevine near me. Without WORD
NV warnin she histed that buckit of sud
hot ez it wuz, all over me, and In anoth
er second he'd me by the hair. 1t wa
time that asserted myself. made u
nv mind to whale her then and there
wunst for all, and heyin establisht m
sooperiority, hev it all my way, ever at
terward.
. Assertin ones sooperiority is all wei
enuff, but 700 want to be shoor abou
your strength, that bein the main pin
in any assertin biznis. l riz and graz
Piled her, and found that assertin WI
one thing, and establishin quite anotf
6 er In less than mint that infoor
ated and muskeler female he'd me on u
S back, and wuz maxim me bald-hedi
!. at rate l never dreamed possible. Sh
tore out my hair by the handful, sh
peeled my face in a mint, and in les
than four minits, | looked very muc
like an old fashioned frigate after a
encounter at short-range.
"Yoo won't work, won't ye? well
guess you will Yoo'll work on th