Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1881-04-06

KIM tnal ever OuRnt 10 De preacueu. L
turned over the leaves of the dictionary
and caught sight of several abjurgatory
adjectives which seemed to have a di-
rect personal application. l laughed
at the ridiculou sness of the situation in
a hysterical sort Of way, and ended by
crying over it as terrible tragedy.
1t is needless to say that in the even
ing l preached with manuscript. At
the end of the service, an old lady
shook hands with me very sympathet-
ically, and expressed the hope that |
felt better than | did in the morning. |
casually remarked that in the morning
| had some difficulty with my head, to
which she naively responded that she
had suspected it. One of my good dea-
cons also pressed my hand very warm
ly, and said, in a guarded way, that
be feared had used too much vocal
energy in the morning service. sim
ply answered that | had been some
what uuwell; but hoped to recover dur
ing the week And so the day passed.
The recollection of it is burned into my
memory as with a hot iron. | can
never forget it, and | may add that
there are other people in the world who
will never forget it either. / think |
suffered as much as Marie Antoinette
did when during single night her
hair turned white.
| afterward looked the matter over
very calmly, and determined not to
yield the main point | had made
rush on the enemy. and been repulsed
thereafter l would conduct the battle
by slow approaches Cost what it
might, | would yet speak without
notes. l determined with a certain
ierceness of will to learn TO think on
my feet L was sure that | had some
thing to say to the people, for | thought
earnestly and prayerfully on all religi-
gious subjects and was equally sure
that what / wanted to say it was neces-
sary for them to hear, because it bad to
do with their spiritual welfare. Ideas
as they lay in my mind were perfectly
clear but the very minute | began to
express them | became embarrassed.
The search for appropriate words and
the necessity of keeping up steady
flow of language befogged and troubled
me- Every day of the week succeed
ing my failure presented a new and
poignant misery. / walked the room
for hours at time, talking aloud, that
I might become accustomed to the
sound my voice. / delivered short ora
tions to my study table; apostrophiz-
ed my inkstand related all the prom
inent incidents in my life to u bust of
Socrates and entered into an argument
with picture Of Plato. In word, |
talked myself completely hoarsc.
Then prepared to throw myself into
the breach once more, taking care, how
ever, that the breach should not be a
particularly dangerous one. | wrote
my sermon with great care, leaving the
Improvement" to extempore utterance.
| knew that under q stress of circum-
stances, | could omit improvement al
togetber-that my sermon would be
quite long enough without it; and this
fact gave me such comfort and assur-
ance that | succeeded passably we'll
At the end of each sentence | could say
amen, and this fact helped me to the
succeeding sentence. When O speaker
can stop at any time, Re feels quite
ready to go on; but when he must go
on, the direful necessity renders it i'm
possible to do So In the evening
left out my written illustrations, and
substituted extemporization, without
any very grievous errors. Indeed, the
second Sunday was 80 agreeable that l
thanked God and took courage.
1t is not necessary to speak in detail
Of the following months Of mingled dis
may and encouragement. l read OF the
experiences Of the most successful pub
lie speakers, and their early failures
gave me great comfort. The life of Fox
particularly interested me. When he
first rose in his place in the House Of
Commons, he blundered, stammered,
and at last sat down in discontinue. l
felt that there was very tender tie be-
tween him and myself In order to
overcome his embarrassment, he re-
solved to speak at least once on every
question that was discussed, and missed
doing 80 during one sitting only. In
this way he acquired that fiuency of
speech and that intellectual poise while
on his feet which made him famous.
Humbly following 30 great an example,
| offered my services on every occasion
which presented itself; and, though
| the committees were sometimes sorry
that they had accepted my offer so
readily, they were the unconscious
means of my gradual Improvement. l
look back to those days with horror
and reimbursement The motive which
urged me was undoubtedly good but
the recollection Of the misery and con-
sternation which have caused in pop
ular assemblies is extremely painful. |
sought lecture engagements oil over
the country, the pecuniary inducement
with which | bribed my way into many
an ill-fated village being the offer TO
! lecture if my actual expenses were COW
cred. The fact that | very seldom
went to the same place twice is posi-
| bly, sufficient comment on my sue
cess Even my low terms seemed RI
diculously extortionate. and no New
England town felt justified in taking
the risk more than once. / freely but
sadly gave my sympathy to those who
gathered to hear me; but could not be
persuaded to desist frequently learn
ed from laudatory advertisements Of my
advent, which spoke in glowing terms
| of INV elouucncc and Of other attractive
qualities, that it would pay any one to
drive through mud and over n rough
country road, in the rain and dark, to
hear me speak on the theme Of the
evening; and knew only too well the
disappointment in store for the audi
ence They came checrfully; but have
reason to think that they went away in