The Portland daily press., 1881-10-14
Tom Ochiltree's Yarns.
The Jolly Granger oversha adows Mum
chausen.


it is fair to presume that everybody has heard
of Major Tom Ochiltree of Texas, after W hom
John Chamberlin, the well-known sportsman,
named his famous racehorse. Major Tom was
Marshal of Texas, under Grant, and is known
as one of that distinguished travellers warmest
adherents. The Major has the gift Of speech,
developed to the remotest limits OF exaggera-
ton, which has caused him to be called by his
many friends the arabian Knight" But, al
though his vivid imagination will not permit
him to reply to q simple question about the
weather without decorating it with what he
calls rainbow here and there, it must not be
inferred that in serious matters the red-headed
granger of the Rio Grande is at all wanting in
veracity. His word is quite as good as his bond
in business matters Perhaps cannot better
illustrate the fascinating characteristics of one
who Is now national character than by relat-
ing scene which took place the other night at
the Union League Club which has recently re-
moved to new and magnificent quarters on the
southern slope of Murray Hill. 1t is OF course
impossible to put in dull typo the Majors
graceful gestures, his kaleidoscope changes OF
thought and the magnetism OF his ard snt man
nsr but a good idea Of the peculiarities which
have made him famous, may be obtained from
what was enabled to catch from sofa on
which sat an amused listener. 1t was rather
slow evening at the Union League, and a few
members sitting round the fire lsked Major
Ochiltree to enliven them with one OF his ad-
ventures Tom threw a searching glance round
the circle 20 "take in," as it were, his audi
ence, aud related as follows:
"Weil, gentlemen I've nothing more inter-
esting in the caves of my memory than wide
range of travel and some very eminent people
I've met with, but will try to entertain you
until my latch-key runs down. In the Spring
of 1856 found myself in Paris. l had been
sent by the State of Texas to negotiate loan
to build railroad between Galveston and the
City Of Mexico. Some of you may doubtless
remember that General Santiago Barbosa, then
Dictator of Mexico was in favor of the scheme.
OF course my presence on the Bourse at
tracted considerable attention, and was ap-
preached one fine morning on the Boulevard
des Capucines BY msgni1cently costumed
chasseur, all gold lace and red pants-looking
noble, 1 tell you-who said, in sort OF Algeri-
an French: His Majesty commands your
presence at the Tuileres tonight at 10 O'Clock.
told him to say to my fellow-sovereign that l
would be on deck sharp as the hour named and
not to forget II"
lyon SAID that IN French?" said consump-
overlooking member. in modest inquiring
tone.
"Yes, sir, spoke just as good French then
as do now. met his Majesty at the appoint
ed hour, aud, by Jove! the Empress was with
him, and hadn't come dressed for ladies. Not
to d we'll too long on phase OF European socie.
ty which is now familiar to so many travelled
Americans, his Majesty wanted me to go 10
Central Africa and buy about 25,OO0 pounds OF
elephants teeth-iyory, you know-for him.
Eueenie wanted to deck her boudoir in the
. %a1o ot tair n
ropean markets were exhausted At first
pleaded the importance of the interests COM
mitted to my care, but the Emperor interrupt
ed me with gesture of impatience and ex-
claimed: Consider that loan placed. III make
Italy and Belgium take it all this week. Ihe
Empress, then the most beautiful woman In
Europe and the most beautiful woman ever
saw, except one-a st. Louis gamblers wife
dded her entreaties, paying compliment to
M native State, and saying she had heard
tb ut had faculty for finding my way safely
arc und Greasers, Navajos. newspaper reporters
and hackmen. That settled it'll l started the
next day with 9, letter of credit on the French
Consul-G General at Cairo for 2,OO0OOO francs,
about $.400, Goo The Egyptian Government
Said Pasha was in power-rendered me every
assistance, and in four months I was up the
White Nile, 5000 miles from the Delta, thou
sand miles inland toward the Nyanzas, the
guest of Mtesa, the King OF Uganda" i,
"Did you hear anything OF Liyingstone!'
asked fat member.
Texan Major, fixing bad eye on him II be-
came great friends with Mtesa. He was tine
looking, splendidly formed niger, 8 feet
inches tall. He was rather too fond OF merisss
"a strong native beer-and when under ats III
fiuence would do things to make your hair
stand on end; very much such a man as Jim
Rennett One night, after we had been on a
hunt and knocked over few lions, some bles-
hok. = dozen giraffes, and a brace OF hipDopot
ami" -,
lis it strictly 'potami or 'potamuses?" meek
10 inouired the thoughtful member.
The Major darted fiery glance at him, but
without reply went on.
Zone night, L say, before was interrupted
by. this lipeal descendant OF Noah webster
Mtesa was full as goat,and Tor some trlnins Y
infraction of court etiquette he ordered up ms
CORPS of executioners and struck OF the head,
of / 3OA of the first mobiles about tho the royal
town and court / was forced 10 Witness sas
inhuman butchery or run the risk OF losing my
own head if / exhibited the slightest sign OF ais
gust So nerved myself up to 1t by pint o
cid oognac Victor Hugo had pressed upon ms
the morning left Paris and smoked an exqui
siteIv carved meershaum pipe presented 10 m'
by Marshal Canrobert, who had received IL =
a wedding gift from Victor Emanuel -tn'
King of italy, you know, sir, said Major Ion
severely. as one of the circle began to cougl
violentIv and hold his head down, what did
understand on TO sayl
The circle .Noked trifie embarrassed, but M
one replying, the ornate Texan went on:
.sYes. sir. by the living Jingol he cut on NJ
teen hundred human heads.
sThirtee, hundr ed, 1 think, was the exac
number" said the con vaiescent member.
ION. d fguresl I've no head for EN- ID,
cut off all these heads before dayoresk, ans
when the sun rose over the snow capped noun
tains Of the Moon, and shoyn over the smootl
waters of the Victoria Nysnza,, gliding then
like gold, there were discovered neaos ana oou
10. HACK and bloody, scattered over tne hraa
like an unusual bloody battle held;
sThat is a bit of descriptive WORK lar oeyon'
Stanley, Speke or Livingstone sa'd tne h'e'
ary member. ,s .ha Major. and h
did. .,
traded for all the ivory there was IN tne hlng
dom Of Uganda, and Accompanied oy my Nv
hunters would knock over from ten 10 q aosel
claimants day. taking the tusks myself an
leaving the meat for the com mon non people 81
the dogs Thousands of each 'oiiowed US.
"Are elephants good to eat?' inquired 'n
fat member, with an eager look in nas eyes.
"Good to eat?" said the fiery TeA'sa;; ms ais
| man, where were you ,rought up? ANaio1 e,s ,s
plants good. So is fried elephant, hasoea si'
phant, elephant on toast and en- brochet 70. s'
an elephant foot, baked in hot ashes II Vul !
castor-oil tree, is the most delicious mors.
earth, except buffalo hump baked IN pers W
| mon ashes. Good? / shoul say So LII tn, '
weren't so expensive I'd give the club an el.
phant barbecue next summer at Coney Island
and teach you pretended epicures something
But the night wanes gentlemen. Sutnce II .
say that got back to Paris with the ivory 10
| the Empress and enough on my own account 7
| supply all Texas with billiard balls Tor te
1 wears. have not given this to the pubic i
| book form because saw nothing in 1t neyon
| an occasional "reminiscences of travel to anus
| my friends. Good night"
| aWbat became of the money from Italy an
| Belgium to build that railroad?" inquire
| Rufus Hatch, but the meteoric Texan WI
| gone.