Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1881-04-07
Snmuruus Repartment.
JOE BOWERS, WEDDING.

Inc county VI away W III 'no
mountains boasts one of the best judges in
California. On the bench he is firm, decided,
and prompt, not caring the snap of the finger
for either thu applause of friends, or the NUT
terings of enemies. He is, perhaps, the most
devoted man to law IN all creation, and has
his head so full of what he terms Judicial
talk" that he not uufrequently finds himself
making learned charges and passing sentence
outside of the court room.
On recent occasion the Judge was called
on to exercise the "power and authority in
him vested" in the case of young couple,
who desired their hearts united in the holy
bands of wedlock. Of course he consented
to perform the pleasing duty, and on the ap-
pointed evening was promptly on hand at
the house at which the affair was to come off,
The room was crowded by the beauty and
fashion of the town and none looked more
digni6ed or happy than the judge himself,
who was dressed within an inch of his life
Itsis customary on occasions of the kind
referred to, for the good folks of the noun
tain town to pass round the wine quite freely,
and they consider it no harm for one to man.
ifest his interest in the joyous event BY get
ting "lively." The judge is an. ardent admi-
rer of the fair sex, having in the course of his
life led the third one to the altar. To use
his own language, he is a great believer in
weddings" and that he should become lit
tie mellow amid the glorious scene of the even
ing, was not to be wondered at by those
who knew him Immediately. He had the
weakness of some good judges. He would
take his "tod."
The wine had passed round and round and
round The music had ceased. The time
for making Joseph Bowers and Nancy Har-
kens one, had arrived. Every heart throb-
bed with the most delightful emotion. The
young gentlemen desired to know how "Joe"
would stand it, and the young ladies were
most anxious to see how Nance" would suf-
fer the anxious shock. Others, again, who
had closely observed the turn Of affairs during
the evening, fixed their attention upon the
Judge to see how he would come out of the
scrape.
At length the trying moment was anoun-
ced, the judge arose very cautiously from the
chair, which he had occupied in one corner
of the room, and casting bis eye over the
company, he singled out the Sheriff of the
county who was present as an invited guest.
The Judge had imbibed just enough to make
him forget the nature Of his business. He
was full of his judicial talk" he required
nothing but the presence of the sheriff to
start him. Looking sternly at the officer he
shouted:
"Mr. Sheriff, open the court, and call
order"
A general twitter followed this command,
in the midst of which the sheriff took the
"court" gently by the arm, and led him to
his seat in the corner, at the same time in.
forming the august parsonage of the mistake:
Everything now bid fair for a pleasant and
sudden termination of the affair, until another
annoyance, which was nothing less than the
absence of the bridegroom, was observed. 1t
turned out that he had just stepped across
the street to join his friends in parting
drink, but before bis return, some cold blood
ed wag had whispered into the ear of our old
fogy the cause of sdelay in the proceedings"
Instantly the chair in the corner moved, and
in that direction all eyes we're fixed.
"Mr. Sheriff." slowly drawled the judge
"bring Joe into the court on supenar"-the
Judge had his own way of pronouncing the
word-then addressing the bride who stood
in the foreground, and hung her head in deep
confusion, he added: 81 'spose you're the
plaintiff Well, don't take on. Innocence
and virtue will be protected by this here
court"
This was the saddest blunder of all. The
Judge was again made to see bis mistake, and
would have been considerably set back, had it
not been for corrective in the shape of "for-
ty drops of the critter," which he instantly
applied.
In few moments all was ready in right
down earnest The bridegroom had arrived,
full of joy. The company pressed toward
The excitement was intense He evidently
felt every inch Judge.
"J.J-o.e BE B overs" commenced the man
of law, in that distressing style Of speech with
which he was invariably troubled when under
the influence Of liquor; J-Joe BIB overs,
stand up. Have y-y-you anything to s's-say
w.w-why s.sen-n-n-tence-"
stop, stop, Judge" shouted the Sheriff
from the back part Of the house. "You are
not going to hang the man, but to marry
him."
The Judge drew long breath and blinked
rapidly, but stood his ground well. Recover
ing himself proceeded:
81 Joe B Bowers, do y-y-ou take Nancy
Harkens, for y-your w-wife, and so h-h-help
y.you God"
This was tolerable effort, and Joe nodded
assent.
N-N.Nancy Harkens, it now remains for
this C.Court to"
Here the Sheriff again interrupted the
Judge, reminding him of the real business of
the evening.
"Miss N.Nancy," resumed the judge, after
being set right, "d-d-do you t.t-take J-Joe
B.B.owers for husband, tito the best of
your knowledge and b-b.belief or DIDO you
not?"
"You can bet willw softly answered the
light.hearted Nancy.
The Judge then took the hands Of the hap
py couple, and joined them, and wound up as
follows:
"It now r,remains for this h-h-here &C.
Court to pronounce you man and wife and"
(here the Judge paused to wipe the perspira-
tion from his face,) may G.G-God Or.mi'ty
h.have mercy on y-your souls! Sheriff, re-
move the cul prits"
The company roared. Joe and Nancy
weakened The Sheriff was taken with a
leaving. The Judge let himself loose in a
glass Of applejack. 1t was the greatest we'd
ding ever witnessed.
THEM CATs.-A philosophical old gentle
men was one day passing a new school-house,
erected somewhere towards the setting sun
borders of the glorious Union, when his at
tention was suddenly aroused by crowd of
e.a,,.l h Innr