The Republican journal. [volume] (Belfast, Me.) 1829-current, 1881-03-10

IeIoTS WOTuS 10 SlluOu MdSuS, Sne
thought, maintaining her calmness by
an effort. "In my excited state of feeling
they naturally seem to have undue signifi-
cance." She turned back few leaves,
and looked again:
"Why hath Satan filled thine heart to
lie to the Holy Ghoste .. Thou hast
not lied unto men, but unto God"
She closed her Bible and resolutely
laid it from her.
"My nerves are overwrought," she
said. II must divert my mind 10y natural
and healthy interests
1t was Just at twilight; she went out
and proposed to her sister that they
should spend the evening at a neighbor's
house, and during the days that followed
she went much into active business and
society. But she found it impossible to
shake Oft the oppression that was upon
her spirit the same suggestion of duty
haunted her; and reason, Judgment and
intellectual conviction availcd no more
against 1T than a sponge aVallS to wipe
out a shadow. She grew reluctant to
read her Bible there were verses there
that she did not like to see; and she at
last gave up her daily reading, saying
that for the present it had perhaps ceased
to be profitable. But she could not es-
cape the living word written in her mem
DRY, which seemed quickened to intense
activity. Her prayers were sometimes
constrained and formal; and sometimes
she cast herself upon the Lord with strong
cries for deliverance.
"Why dost thou leave me in such doubt
and disquietude ?" she pleaded. II have
sought my duty carefully with tears.
Leave me moi. in Darkness let thy light
shine"
eff, therefore, thine eye be single, thy
whole body shall be full of light" sug-
gested memory.
me from this horrible pit and miry clay,
and set my feet upon q rock, and my lips
shall praise thee
"Why call ye me Lord, Lord, and do
not the things which | say ~ was the
answer
She went over the ground again and
again. calling common sense and reason
to her aid. She told herself she was the
victim of strange delusion, and that by
patient waiting she would yet recover
mental health But her facility in the
Scriptures met her at every turn, and
some text arose and tripped every step
she took
''It is monstrous, impossible" she
urged. ~ could not do it if would"
'lt ye have faith us a grain Of mustard
seed, ye shall say to this mountain, Re
move hence to yOnder place, and it shall
remove; and nothing shall be impossible
to YOU
"Oh, for patience" :" she cried, Il will
withdraw my mind from this subject, and
it will yet leave me-
''Grieye not the Holy Spirit of God,
whereby We are sealed to the day of re-
demption." ......
ut is not the Spirit Of God" she an
swered "My faith is tried, like that of
job, and Satan is allowed"-she went no
further.
''Whoso blasphemeth against the Holy
Ghost, it shall not be forgiven him, nei-
ther in this world nor in the world to
come. Because they said he hath an
unclean spirit"
Miss Lydia's mental trouble began to
wear upon her health. Every one was
noticing her worn and haggard face
and visit of a few weeks among her rel
atives gave her but temporary relief
Spring came, with its warm, soft air and
its depressing languOr. She was an old
woman, and now she began to feel about
her some vague premonition of change.
Grave symptoms Of disease hereditary in
the family declared themselves. One by
one she gave up her active duties, and
sat in her cushioned chair. The old fam
lily doctor was called in; he gave her i'll
ness Latin name, mixed some medicine
III a tea cup promised aspeedy recovery
and went away and left her with her
trouble. Her mind was held relentlessly
upon the subject from which her whole
being shrank and though as physical
strength failed her she had less power OF
resistance, still her will was fixed and
resolute as ever that she would not yield
Upon his second visit the old doctor
found his patient confined to her bed
friends shook their heads sadly over this
downward step, but Miss Lydia felt an
intense relief that now, at least, physi-
cal impossibllity stood in the way Of the
suggestion that ever haunted her
one evening, as she lay alone in the
twilight, listening to the soft voices OF
the summer evening, there gradually
closed about her the conviction that for
her the end of life was near. Death
seemed to approach and toreWarn her,
and her soul recognized his face. What
if, after all, this had been the voice OF
God within her that she had refused and
disobeyed. What if her eternal destiny
were indeed imperilled, and now it was
too late. The things of this life shrivelled
to n0thlngness as she drew near the eter-
nal verities. Outside the window, lust
across the street, the church bells began
to ring; and Miss Lydia grew faint with
fear, as her inward conflict began anew
Was it, then, too late? The church
prayermeeting was assembling, close at
hand. A remnant Of physical strength
was still her own. Might she not even
now obey the impulse within her, and be
at peace She felt her spirit wooed by
strong persuasion, and the voices about
her were melting with entreaty.
She turned her face upon the pillow
the slow and painful tears forced them
selves through the unused channels, and
she gave up. The feeble notes of wall
ing hymn rose and fell upon the air; the
exercises had begun. Ten minutes later
Deacon Tryon was addressing the meet
ing. The candles fared in the dim twi-
light OF the echoing room, and the little
handful Of brethren sat droWsily listening
to the same old story. Deacon Tryon
felt himself to be a great sinner. He was
conscious he had not walked worthily be-
fore them, and he asked their prayers
lie paused his hearers reused them
selves and turned to follow the direction
of his startled glance.
Miss Lydia Bennett stood in the door
way, her clothes flung hastily about her,
and her face like one struck with death.
She came slowly up the aisle, and when
she feebly spoke all held their breath to
listen.
81 have sinned against Heaven" she
began. "I am verify guilty concerning
my brother | have slandered a good
man and done him wrong. i have resist
ed the Spirit when he moved me to con-
foo -ci,.