The weekly democratic statesman. [volume] (Austin, Tex.) 1871-1883, 1881-07-21
THE OLD ALcALDE's DUTY.

ty had not always been consuming its
peck of dirt in some shape or other.
1t is pretended that thiS is day OF
adulteration and fraud. and that
the trouble is, that before the |
cook or the man behind the counter |
mikes up their compounds the man
ufacturers have about exhausted |
the per centage'. of trash the
human stomach has been trained
to endure. The New York legis- |
lature takes hold of the ques-
ton and proposes to fix the |
responsibility at least of manutac-
turers and dealers, and since the |
movement may, succeed, and while |
adulterated articles of food MAY be
driven out ef New York and other
places, we would have the o. a, in
fixing up a slate for the extra ses-
sion of the legislature, call the fact
to the minds of our wise men,
that the land of wooden nut
megs and hams, to keep
up its balance in trade, may be
/ called upon to ship large quantities
of contraband material towards
Texas and Mexico. Now, Mexi-
cans stomach, being used to tortillos
and carne sacca is prepared to stand
almost anything, bud the Texan
| h<Nh hod hao,, 1nHnnrQ
and beefsteaks fried iii aard has
delieatelY organized stomach, and
the executive and legislative depart
ments ought to see to it, that his
finely trained digestive apparatus be
properly preserved. The Texaa
does not take wonderfully well t0l
pure olive oil, but when il comes I'M
| the shape of cotton-seed oil i'll
| which float a few little fishes,
| put up in tin cans, he will de-
stroy more of it, probably, than any
other Lying man. There should be
no such adulteration here. There
are millions of bushels of cotton
seed in Texas, and in the interest of
home industry we think that. law
should declare there shall be no such
fraud. Cotton seed oil is a home
production, and since the Texan is
fond of it, it ought to be made in
quantities to suit, and should be
labeled "cotton seed OIL" The fish
may be added at pleasure. Probably
more refined taste is that of
whisky, if it be not beer, and,
since the Texas House can not
think of cutting off drinks.
we ought to legislate on whisky and
beer. The law should require some
distinction between corn juice and
tobacco juice favored with strych-
nine, and if taste be most in favor of
! the latter, and there be desire to
make Texas land of "snakes" and
sun-strokes then the legislatureought
to require that barrels should not
pass as containing the "oh be joyful"
when they are in fact filled with
emotional insanity and such things.
King Gambrinus brewed a liquid
that would make man happier than
though he were dead and in the
seventh heaven, and Charlemaigne
pressed from the purple grape of the
Moselle, a drink that would have
turned a council of Olympus into
frolic, and it is claimed by the An
heusers and the Lemps and the
Mumms, of each side of the Atlantic,
that Gambrinus' recipe and the
great Carloman's vineyards and
wine presses have come down to
them by direct descent, but
there are those who boldly assert
that the beers and wines of the most
popular. makers are a fraud upon
what they claim to be. 1t is said
that in the manufacture of beer
| glucose and cocculus and canabis.I
indicus and some other similarly
sounding delectable ingredients
have been substituted for the
recipe, and that were Gambri-
nus alive again, and were he to take
a drink of what it is claimed he
loved so well, he would at once de-
grade his royal parsonage in the
committal of petty larceny, and that
should the great Charles wake
| up to a second life in Ameri-
ca instead of on the Rhine,
! and take drink of such sparkling
fluid as il is claimed once created
merriment at DrachenfeIs, he would
ia the twinkling of an eye be after
looking up six-shooter and be-
eoRadng second Guiteau. If the
people of Texas want these things in
stead of something pure, and if they
have lost all care for the life of. our |
dear "Old Alcalde, )" then let the law
remain as it is, but if they want
more morality, with better paid
preachers and not too many over-fed
lawyers, they should look closely |
after all these things that man
takes into his system, first as
physic then as beverage and lastly
as necessity. Since Texas cows
are not of the butter-breed, and
since the Texan has become an enor-
nous consumer of that delicious
compound, known as Oleomar-
garine, it would be well enough
to require that when sold
in Texas it should be known
as golden edge" extract of soap
grease, and not as the liveliest grade
of Kansas butter. Tea and cof-
fee, and cinnamon, and cloves,
and even our mustard are all
mixed with deliterious matter.
and even the sand that a fellow
is found to have in his gizzard is
obtained in the way of ground dirt
in his biscuits, while the medicines +
to which we cling with hope for
life haye been mixed until their eff
cacy cannot always be computed. The
o. A. has a great work before him,
aud IL he inst aecure Taxana of thia |