, 1881-08-14
come along in front Of the tavern about SUI
= ri, hn

''I1ay, where you golnE:"'
*(:oingto sell this hog
s.1IulA on minute! Whatdoes he weigh ?"
s4Oh! about 35-''
= "You're off; he won't 90 over 200."
Every chair il vacated on the Instant.
Every eye is fastened on the hog roofing in
the gutter, aud every man tatters himself
that he can gsless within 4 pound OF tha
poTker's weight.
That hog will pull down )lse eSact1{ ~
pounds" =" says the blacksmith. after 4 long
*iIe won't 20 an ounce over 1857 adds the
coorer: , ,,.,,
kick at 2lO,'' says the hardware man.
You must be wild.'' growis the grocer:
'' can't see over l50 pounds OF meat there:''
Twenty mel take I, walk around Inc
porker, and sauint, and shake their tleads'
II he DON'T 20 over 10 shall feel that
over 50! If that hog weighs 200 pounds
I'll treat this. crowd!" eSclalnls the owner OF
the 'btls line.
!" | dunno 'bont that muses. the Squire,
who is on his way to tile grocery after but"
What breed is this hog:'
~ Berkshire"
swell, I've seen some o them BerksheeTs
that weighed like load o sand. and then
|asin Eve seen 'em where they was all skin
and bone. Has anybody guessed that this
hog wlll weigh 6oo'"
"We!l; that's a leetle steep, but I've kinder
sot my Idea on go
b. this time the crowd has increased to 4
hundred, aud the excitement is Intense The
owner rakes In several bets on between 10
and ~" The porker is driven to the hay
scales, and the silence is almost painful ns
the weighing; lakes place. ,.
Two hundred and twenty three!' calls
the weigher.
Growls and lamentations suite the evening
air, and the Stockholders pass over. the
wagers to the lucky glessers, chief OF whom
is the owner OF the hog.
We'll, i'm c1eaz heat out" says e. t.,
over :0o." >~~~ ~~ ~
,"oh, I lnew you were all wa, ntf,, ex. *.
plains the guileltsss owner ""hen we
weisheA him here at neon be tipned At ex TX
up or lost over pound!"
QU1pS.
Oscar Wilde lives Oh chloroform. It's an
estheticl
| II you had the material, would Jamaica
rum punch?
''Prsouer, have You ever been convfcteds'
"No. your Honor; l have always employed
| frstclass lawyers"
Jones, getting Up from his dinner, In
| quiet way remarked to his landiatly that he
| had found everything on the table cold en-
/ cept the ice CREAM
Garibaldl has accepted yearly pension OF
/ $1,000 offered him by King uumoert- Tho
| report that the old man hid gone crazy seems
t to lack confirmation.
Old proyeFb: 1.-THE tlarkey's hour is Just
| before the dawn" remarked Sanlbo, wtle,t
| he started ont before daybre3k to steal Il
| young chicken for breakfast.
ssTommy, did you hear yonr mother call
you9' .'Corse I did" Then why don't
YOU 20 to Ier 1T once:'' swell. yer see she's
| nervous, and it'd shock her awful ii should
| 20 too sl1ddent-''
Hello! Uncle Nose, hel1o' cried Jen
| Webster as lie hurried down Austin avenue,
| irving TO orertake the old man. - BE keer-
! ful, Jeames, be keerfui how you undreSS
| yo'se!f to me; amt no telephone" replied
the Indignant Dcacon.-Ierus SJttnys.
my gracious, child" said the old lady to
a boy who offered to carry her sachel for hyu
cents. ''were did you get those hands
fronl''' The lad gazed tlIonghtfnlly for 2
moment at his pair Of t}ippcrs, that looked
answered proudly: d" belong to the Toltine
| Rnsc- Ball Club"
"IIave you spoken to pa about that yet - ),
anxiol,sIy inquired the oldest .tauShter Of
her inlulgcnt mother 'No, my child, not
yet. Your father is too busy with his crct-
harness to match, Just now.'' IS Bother the
creditors" was the snappsf reply. Ihat.
what your father Is doing, MY dear. Alter
lie has compromised sou shall have your
turnout"