The Osceola times., 1881-04-16

with another sigh breathed his last
The prospect of bliss just opened up had
proved too much for him.
Various Specimens of Greek Wit
In whatever terms we frame the detin-
ition of wit, it must accepted that in no
nation has the possession OF the quality
OF wit enjoyed such Just fame as in an
cient Greece, and the opinion is support
ed by reference TO a small brochure,
comprising some 400 sayings, bon mots,
and ana, put forth by one of England's
eminent Greek scholars, Mr. Paley.
A good many of the best anecdotes
are referable to Elian's Varia Historic,
the work of Roman of Hadrians date.
To him we owe saying Of Themistocles,
| that "if some one were TO show me two
roads, one leading TO the devil and the
other to Parliament, would choose the
former" Another gives saying of
Anaxarchus, who ridiculed Alexander
the Greats fancy for calling himself a
God The king was i'll. and his physi-
clan ordered him a pudding. AN the
| hopes of our god" said Anaxarchus, "lie
in this pudding Another saying is
tackled to the name of Plato by the same
anecdotist, Elian, concerning the people
of Agrigentum. He observed that they
had costly houses, and gave costly ban
quets, and thereupon remarked that they
built as if they were to live forever, and
dined as if they would be dead forever.
A truly didactic saying is attributed
| by Elan to the Spartan magistrates.
when certain persons from Clazomene
had come to Sparta and smeared with
SCOT the seats on which the Sparta n
magistrates sat discharging public duties;
on discovering what had been done and
by whom, they expressed no indigna-
ton, but merely ordered public pro-
clamation to be made, Let it be lawful
for the people of Clazomene to make
blackguards of themselves Here is
a brief and bright saying of King Archie
laus, when a talkative barber, trimming
his beard, asked him, How shall cut
! it," "In silence" replied the king. Plu-
tarch tells us the following stories, both
good in their way, ofPhiip of Maced0n.
In passing sentence on two rogues, he
ordered one to leave Macedonia with all
speed, and the other to try TO catch him.
No less astutc was his query as to a
strong position he wished to occupy,
which was reported by the scouts to be
almost in pregnable. "Is there not" he
asked, "even pathway to it wide eneugh
for an ass laden with gold?" Philip, too,
according to Plutarch, is entitled TO the
Eatherhood of an adage which retains its
ancient fame about calling spade a
spade"
Another sample of a witty saying from
Plutarchs mint is that attributed to
Themistocles, that his son was the most
powerful man in Greece. "For," said he,
"the Athcnians rule the Hellenes, | rule
the Athenians, your mother rules me,
and you rule your mother" This is at
tributed to Leotychidas, son of Aristo.
"A snake having twisted himself round
key, which was declared by the seers
to be a porlent, Leotychidas remarked,
"it would have been more of a portent il
the key had twined itself round a snake"
Others are connected with orni,hology
like the apothegm of one who plucked
the feathers from nightingale, and find
little wretch, you're nothing but voice.
and again, the rapartee of laconian to
a man of Sparta, who twitted him with
being unable to stand rs long as himself
on one leg. "Nol' replied the other;
"but any goose can" When Demades
the orator remarked that the swords OF
the Spartans were 50 short that they
could be swallowed by conjurors, Agis
the younger king of that name replied,
I'VE find them quite long enough to
reach the enemy"
The story of Hippocleides, the devil
may-care son of Tisandrus, with the re-
mark of Agaristes' father, so, son OF
Tisandrus, you have danced sway your
bride;" and the undignified dancers
reckless reply. "Hippocleides don't care, u
perhaps belong rather to humor than to
wit. An anecdote of Strabo gives a vivid
picture of the clashing of harper's per
formances with the sounding Of bell
for opening of the fish market. All the
audience vanished at once, save little
deaf man. The harper expressed him.
self unutterably hattered at his having
resisted the importantly of the bell
"What!" cried the deaf man, "has the
fish bell rung? Then Pm off too. Good
bv!" One excellent saying from Plutarch
has been as yet overlooked. 1t is tackled
on to Peisistratus, one of the most genial
figures among the ancients. When mind
ed TO marry again, he was dissuaded by
his sons, who asked whether "he was dis
satisfied with them" Certainly not, my
dear fellows he replied; 81 wish to have
more like you"
A thief excused himself to Demosthe-
nes by saying, 81 did not know it was
yours" But you did know" said the
other, that it was not yours" Simen.
ides used to say "he never once regretted
having held his tongue, but very often
he had felt sorry for having spoken
Zeno held the same teaching from ex-
perience when he said to talkative
youth, young man, nature gave us one
tongue, but two ears, that we may heai
Just twice as much as we speak"
The people of Antioch were in the
habit of criticizing the personal appear
ance of the actors on the stage. When q
short man came on to act the part oi
Hector" the audience called out
"Wheres "Hector?" You are only the
boy Astyanaxw When very tall one
was to play the part of "Cap paneus" seal
ing the wall of Thebes, they exclaimed
"Step inl Never mind the ladder"
Old Age.
Youths Companion.