The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1881-04-01
HERE AMI THERE

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for selEgovernment.
HERE AND THERE.
The Empress of Germany suffers from
spinal complaint She should write and
secure the address of Mahone's apethe-
cary.
"As for her social standing" remarks
8 Colorado paper of singer, at will be
sufficient to say that her father owns 1913
mules and is candidate for the legisla-
ture''
New York Herald: Even SPAN is try
ing hard to organize scare about Amer
lean pork. The number of European
hogs who travel on two feet is really
surprising.
The fool-hardy individuals who are
laughing Mother Symptoms prophecy to
scorn are probably ignorant of the fact
that Chicago vaults to the front with an
insolvent plumber.
It is pretty reasonable to suppose that
If the late Car could have foreseen the
royal magnifcence of his funeral, he
would have done more to foster the cause
of Nihilism in Russia
The "Hubbites" recently "beaned"
and banqueted Carl Schurz with a meas
ure of enthusiasm that reflects very sig
nificantly upon the limited Boston circu-
lation of the st. Louis Globe-Democrat.
New York Tribune: If the Democrats
propose to give banquets to the defeated
members of their party they should not
forget Ben Hill. He has been defeated
in debate often enough to deserve ban
quets.
A brakeman on the Erie road knocked
Jay Gould's hat over his eyes and told
him to get inside or he'd throw him off
the train, and Gould obeyed just as
humble as if he didn't own a single car
wheel.
The acme of business enterprise has
been attained by an Indiana marble-cut-
ter, who has been convicted of mutilat-
ing gravestones In the Madison cemetery,
with view to stimulating business in
his line of trade.
ExPresident Hayes has sent $3.50 to
John n. Unglaub. the engineer who had
charge OF the train on which he was go
ing home on the 9Th instant, and which
collided with another at Severn station,
between Baltimore and Washington.
An insidious scheme to denude the
forests of the country is recognized in
the dangerous proposition of a professed
philanthropist, of Chicago, who sug-
gests the expediency of furnishing the
freedmen in Kansas with wooden shoes.
The income of the Emperor of Rus
sis is $12. O00, 900 per year. But barring
the Bill English class of misers, we ap-
prehend it would be pretty difficult to
find man who would be willing to live
over dynamite mine for smaller sum.
Postmaster General James has de-
clined dinner with the merchants of
of New York. The Democratic jour-
nails which would have pronounced him
corruptIble, had he accepted, will now
have to fall back on the charge of churl-
ishness.
General George B. Mcclellan has
been mentioned as suitable person to
succeed General Grant as president of
the Worlds Fair. As scheme tor eE
fecting the indefinite postponement of
that enterprise this would certainly take
the cake.
st. Louis is yearning for the Worlds
Fair. Her journalists seem to be i'm
pressed with the reasonable conviction
that the wild, rural charms of that city
would attract many summer tourists
who would not be drawn to a great
busting business center.
We can't understand why Kansas City
doesn't put in bid for the worlds fair
The failure of the enterprising journals
Of that ambitious metropolis to "lift in
on such q tempting scheme is an exhibi
ton of modesty as inexplicable as it il
unique and unprecedented.
| Clipped: One of the most difficul
/ tasks the wood engraver has had to per
form this year was to plug the cam
paign wood-cuts Of Hancock and Eng
lish SO that enterprising newspaper
might palm them of as accurate por
traits of the murdered Gear.
/ London Spectator: "In England, thu
greatest danger would be a monarch o
genius; and prehaps the next greatest
one of ability enough TO overmaste
Ministers by his intellectual force
Neither HohenzollerB nor Guelph seems
however, 70 be in any danger"
An Iowa spinster, impressed with tn
sinfulness of speech, has utterly al
stained from talking for over three year:
The brutal husband Of an Emporia VIC
man says be regards that as the. mos
reasonable type Of religious fanaticisr
with which he ever knew the sex to b
afflicted.
Scientists say that American fisher
men enter into investigations with grca
ef zesf than those OF any other nation
The amouai of brain food that has beef
consumed in perfecting an angling TO
that can be converted. at pleasure. into
Sunday cane, seems to bear cut til
: above claim.
The lofty appreciation of the dram
in Wyoming is reflected in the criticisr
ola Cheyenne reporter. who goes in.
raptnres over The performances Of
horse in the highly scenic play {
sAazeppa," aa6 adds that the animal
support by the balance Of the east wi
quite credisable.
II A Memphis man has pair OF pant
looms that once belonged to Andre