The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1881-02-17
PLEASANT PARAGRAPHS.

BOILER explosions are becoming so
numerous that vaccination appears neces-
sary to keep them from breaking out.
philadelphia Chronicle Herald.
A CHICAGO restaurant keeper adver-
tses "roast turkey and cram berry saus,"
and yet a hungry man might go where
they spell better and fare worse.-Neto
Orleans Picayuae
"Dosr love me? Tell me once agains
Ny little pootsy tootsl'
With iove-lit eyes she sweet replies:
"Do L? You bet your bootsl"
Modern Argo.
The Cleveland Herald has published
some verses entitled: "Why do I sing?"
and written by a young woman. 1t is
probably because her father paid five
hundred dollars to o music teacher for
spelling good stocking darner.
AT an undertakers' conference in New
Yorkrecently, one undertaken complained
!, that the sections were getting call the
cream OF our business" What for Heav-
ems sake, is "the cream" of the under
takers business?
In olden times when people heard
Some swindler huge had come to grief
They used a good old Saxon word,
And called that man "thiefs
But language such as that to-day
Upon too many feelings CRATES,
So people smile and simply say,
"He-' rc-hypcthecates.'
The man who journeyed long to spit
upon the grave of his enemy found that
the said enemy was drowned in lake
| and his body not recovered. There are
lots of things in this world to make q
man mad.-Detroit Free Press.
The Galveston Ne,os says man in
| that city who had a mule for sale, hear
Ircr hot frin fu tod f<,
buy mule, telegraphed to him: "Dear
Friend-If you are looking for No.
mule don't forget me-"
An exuberant youth halls supposed
acquaintance with &c Hello, Joe, but,
finding his mistake, adds: go, excuse
me; I thought you were another man u
Laconic stranger answers: ''I am."-
Buffalo cypress.
| No Adolphus, newspaper men do not
have duplicates of the last straw that
broke the cameFs back. They are use
full, as you say, but newspaper men are
so accustomed to d-k-g the other
way, they don't care straw about
| themi
A MINISTER overlook Quaker lady
and politely assisted her in opening q
gate. As she was q compartive stranger
In town, he said: "You don't know,
perhaps, that am Mr.. -. Haven't
You heard me preach?" "I have heard
you try, was the quick rejoinder.
cas- for me-" says Nine. r., whose
husband is member of the Assembly
"I always do my shopping when the
Senate is discussing the appropriation
bills. Then, you see, my husband is ac
customed to such large figures that my
bills look small to him. French paper
| THIS is the particular time of the yea
when the citizen is attacked with Sc
we're case of economy, and immediatel,
cuts off his entire list of newspapers
There is one paper he does not relin
quish, however. It is his paper of to
bacco.-Rockla,ad Courier.
TIE man who works in factory, hi
pay day comes once a month; but tn
man who works at ditching has his spad
day oftener than at.-Maratho,. I,1de
pendent Hoel Hoel Fork conscienc
sake shove long this pun, and don't har
row up our feelings in this way.
A YANKEE tobacco chewer was in tn
habit of declaring about once a mont
that he would "never chew anothe
piece but broke his pledge as often a
he made it On one occasion, shortl
after he had "broken off,. he was see
taking another chew, "Why," said hi
: friend, "you told me you had given u
that habit, but see you are at it again.
EYES," he replied, ST have gone t
chewing and left off lying"