The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1881-03-02


just because there's fallen
snow FAKE on his forehead
lie must go and fancy
IT'S winter all the year'
II, II. 1ldrfeh
II you want 10 make your sour kriut
Und make him taste 80 schWeet,
Yust put him In a great big BARI
Und stamp him init your feet.
Lives of grocer, mon remind us
They can make their starch half lime,
And with sugar wholly blind US,
Putting sand IN al the time.
4 Nevada critic, speaking OF harp
list, said, I'VE never before knew there
was so much music in Il gridron,"
Foreign intelligence that displayed
by Bridget just over Domestic dis
patch johnny with the hot buckwheatS.
Man is a curious creature. He finds
himself unable TO live herewith one wife,
and then goes TO Utah and lives with
half 4 dozen.
A medical writer asks: "Docs posi-
ton affect sIeep?' Well, rather; if
you're hung up by your trowsers on a
spiked fence, you won't sleep very
soundly
Greedy grocer Go farmers wife, who
is supplying him with buteD This
pun o butter is over LIGHT. gudewfe "
Gudewife; Blame yersel,' then; |
weighed it wi the pun o sugar CAT
frae ye yestreen, "
An Alton, y. H., man has recently
moved for the eighty seventh time. lie
is believed to have more correct APP
probation of IIadeS than any other man
living, and certainly knows more swear
words than anybody else. -- boston
POST
1t is worth a months salary to per-
suale boy that he needs an overcoat,
The little rascal will run his hands into
his pantaloons pockets to the elbows,
and chatter his teeth, and deliberately
tell you that he's ''i-j-iust as wa-a-rm. "
--NcD Hirea (COm) Register
"Men should not allow their wives to
split wood" says a contemporary.
This is rather incon,iderate How can
a man refuse when his wife comes up
with tears in her eyes and says, Nov
do, dear, let me 90 down cellar and
split wood for an hour to get up an APP
petite.
Uncompromising: The Doctors
daughter II declare, you're a dread
full fanatic. Mrs McCilzom. | do be-
leve you think nobody will be saved
but you and your Minister Old Lady
--"Aweel, my dear, ah whilst hae ma
doobts ABBOTT the mcenisterm LoHdoB
Punch.
A South End teacher, in her holiday
vacation speech to her pupils last FRI
day, trusted they would come back
resolving that their behavior should be
uncXccptionablc, and that they would
give up all bad habits, when little girl
in the back of the room jumped up and
said The same to you, ma am. "
My wife lost her pocket book with
fifteen dollars in it, to-day" said a sad
looking man. when; going down
town or coming homc?' asked some
body. when? Didn't tell You she
had some money in it?N demanded the
sad-looking man, and everybody knew
when she lost it. Boston Transcript
The latest caprice is to have ones
bedroom upholstery to match fine
dresses, and china to match the bed
ROOM This seems to be the right
idea. The contrary is repugant to an
aesthetic nature When sensitive
man secs neighbor wearing one red
and one white sock he feels a morbid
impulse to break his neck
1t must be rather trying to be mar
ried to an emotional actress, to have
her clutchng you by the throat at 3
a. m, and shouting in a hoarse stage
whisper slave, ddSt lock the kitchen
door; the key, where i,'t, quick; I'll
strange thee; did,t lay the milk pitch
er on the outer hattlementS; aye, mo
good lord, I'm mad. "-NeD York.
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