River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1881-11-17
A Sioux Bill of Fare.

One of the peculiaritlies of the --latest
United States style of feeding the noble
red man is the fact that he is given gov
eminent rations, and at the same time
appropriations are made which are
supposed to maintain him.
| Sometimes a wild Indian who DOM
know much about groceries and how tc
prepare them for food, comes in and
draws his regular soldier ration in this
way. For Instance, up in the Sitting
Bull country awhile ago, aa Indian
came in from the warpath who had
never seen any of the paleface style OF
| food, and drew his rations.
He made a light meal of green I'M
ground coffee the first day, and as he
over-ate, and the coffee swelled on him
he had difficulty in buttening his pants
around the pain that he had on hand.
He felt very unhappy for day or
two, but laid it to the fact that he hadn't
exercised much, and the consequent
ennui and indigestion resulting there
from.
AS soon as he had succeeded in get
ting the interior department Quoted
down little, he tackled his ration OF
candles. These he decided to parboil,
in order to avoid trouble from indi-
gestion. The dish was not SO much of
glittering success as he had anticipat-
ed, and as he remorsefully picked the
candle wicking out of his teeth with a
tent pin, he made some remarks that
grated harshly on the @sthitic ears of
those who stood near.
He then tried a meal of yeast DOW
der with vinegar. He ate the yeast
powder and then took pint of ex-
tremly potent vinegar to wash it down.
AT first there was feeling of glad
surprise in his stomach which rapidly
gave place to unavailing remorse.
A can of yeast powder in an Indians
midst don't seem to be prepared for a
pint of vinegar, and the result of such
an unfortunate combination is not
gratifying.
Every little while look of pain
would come over the features of the
noble child of the forest, and then he
would jump about seventeen feet and
try to kick cloud out of the sky.
Then he would sit down and think over
his past life.
1t took about a week for him to get
back to where he dared 10 get up anoth-
er meal for himself. Then he fricaseed
a couple of pounds of laundry soap
and ate that.
Soap is all right for external purpos
es, or for treating pair of soiled socks
but it does not assimilate with the gas
trlc juices readily, and those who have
tried fried laundry soap as relish do
not seem to think that it will ever ar
rive at any degree of prominence as an
article of diet.
That is why this untutored child of
nature swore. He had never received
the benefits of early training IN pro
family. and his language therefore was
disconnected and rambling. but when
we consider that he was ignorant of our
language, and that every little while he
had to stop and hold on to his digester
with both hands and dig holes in the
earth with his toes, the remarks didn't
seem altogether out of place or irrele-
want.
When gallon or so of agitated bak-
ing powder and vinegar is singing its
little song in the innermost recesses of
an Indian, and this has been followed
by treatment of laundry soap, the
student of human nature can find
wide field for observation in that locali-
ty.
The earnest and occupied look, the
troubled expression of the countenance
followed by the quick, nervous witch
ing the muscles of the face and then
the swelling up of the body, the burst
ing of the suspender button, the deep
drawn sigh and the smothered cuss
words, all betoken the gastric agitation
going on within.
That is why an Indian prefers link
of bologna sausage and two-year old
dog to the high priced groceries so
common to our modern civilization
Boomerang.