Daily Republican., 1881-09-29
PLEASANT READING.
BITS Of Funny Reading Matter So.
| leCted from our Exchanges.
FREDERICK TELLS HIS LOVE.

lected from our Exchanges.
FREDERICK TELLS HIS LOVE.
"And you love me dearly?" he aske,
rs he coiled his arm around her wasp
like system. And you'll always low
me SOP"
"Always Frederick, ever so."
"And you pledge me to sew but. -
"Sir!'
"You pledge me to beautify my lif
that it may always he as happy a
nOw?"
"With my last breath, Frederick
"And darling you'll mond my Soc
"Your what, sir?"
"You will mend my social ways anC
draw me upward and onward to a bet
ter existeD cn?'
"lt will be thepride OF my life TO dc
SO, Frederick. ! will sacrifice all to
your complete happiness.
''I know that, sweetheart Bnt sup
pose that in tho fullr ess of time, SON,
accident should happen to--to- TIN
trUu--
"Ysu forget yourself, sir. To th'
what"
"To the trosseau. Would it defer tn,
hour that makes you mine"
"Never, Frederick. | am yours min,
and heart and nought can separate
us"
"But what l want to say is tina
should my pant
'Bsgone sir; what do you mean"
"Hear me, my lite. 4 say that if III,
painting bosom should grow cold il
death, would your love still warm it?'
"As the sun mets the iceberg. Fred
erick, so would the rays of my affection
thrill your heart again"
"And y0n will care for me ever, II,
soul; for though l may never have I
shir--
"Euough leave me forever
"But listen Though ! may neveI
have d shirking disposition, l sha
sometimes perh Fps, in the struggles o
lite, forget the plain duty"
"And I'll remiud you of it, Fleder
ick in tender actions and make the du
ties of existence so pleasant of perfor
nance that to avoid them will be pain.
WOMAN S sOTTESING INFLUENCE.
OTIS astonishiu," remarked an Ole
Yankee California forty-niner, as h
nodded over his glass 10 "a friend, "wha
u coward man is at HON,
IA reg lar crawlin' sneak, by Jove
I've Travelled good bit, and held III,
head up in most o the camps on tn
coast since 40. I've got three bullet,
inside ONE. I've shot and been sho
at, an never heard anybody say
hadn't rs good pluck as most fel
goin.' But at home I'm a kyote. BE
fore I'd lei the old woman know tina
her hot biscuit wasn't A l when III
like stiff amalgam, I'd fill myself Al
full as a retort. I've done it lots o
times. Most o my teeth are gone from
tuggin' on beefsteaks that the oil,
woman fried. Dye think l roared on
when got over chair in the dark? No
sir. While Pm rubin my shins an
keepin' back the tears, Pm likewis,
sweatin' fur fear the old woman has
been woke by the UPSET. 1t didn't use
to be So" sighed the poor fellow
thoughtfully rubbing his shining scalp
when we first litched, thought'l.. was
the superintendSnt; butafter year OF
two OF argyin' the pint, | settled fowr
to shown the car at low wages. kir
HEX any man O. my age an size," erie,
the Old man, banging the saloon table
with his wrinkled fist. "I'll shoot,
stand up, or rough.and-tumble for coin
but, when l hang my hat in the hall
an take Of my muddy boots, an heal
the old woman ask if that's me, | lei
you the starch comes right out ONE. ,
DRoUGHT STORY.
"The talk about this being dr.,
time" observed Mr.. Smiley. as h,
wiped his lips after his morning bitters
'Taint nothin' to what l have SEE n
When it gets so dry that shingles fl
low the sun an curl right up so yol
can see straight through th. roof al
every time hen steps on tn" blisterin!
sidewalk she holds up her foot anc
blows 1t cool, an every time dog si''
down in the shade he jumps like 3
schoolboy getting away from tacl
nail, then you can talk Of it being ho
and dry. Why, | recollect one sum
mer ! drove cows five miles for water
an then had to give 'em their OWE mill
to drink. There wasn't any water il
Them days, AN we used to catch IT,,
dew'-Just then collector walked III
the front steps to "catch the DUE" anl
lchabod skinned out the back dool
with his wonderfully dry story hal
tod.
MAKING A GREAT FUSS.
Two Dutch farmers of Nuderhook
whose farms were adjacent, were ou IL
their respective fields, when one over
heard al unusual hallooing in the di
rection of a gap in high stene wall
aud ran with all speed to the spot, ant
the following brief conversation curucn
"Shon, yat is to matter 2"
"Vell, den" says John, 81 wash try,
ing to climb on the top of dish hi.;f
stone wall, and | fell off and all de on.
wall tumblel down on me and il ha,l
broke one cf my legs Oft, and both my
arms Oft, ana smashed my ribs in, and
desc pig stones are lying unto the TOP OF
Il ine body"
"lsh dat all? says the other, "vy
you Loller 50 big loud 1 toot you got the
toofacLe.
Although he did not like being told
he was no gentleman, George w. had
once, at least, while regent, forgotten
he was one That was when he flung a
glass Of wine in Colonel Hamlyn's face
with, HAM yn you are blackguard!
The insulted officer could not return the
without committing some
thing like treason; it was out Of the
question to challenge the prince, while