River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1881-07-14
In A NUTSHELL.


pipe that will light itself. This is an
underhanded way to attempt to force
house painters to find some new way
to kin time-BoSton Post.
George-Your article on "The Cat"
is purr- posely omitted. No doubt il
would afford much a-mews-ment to the
reader; but we must paws somewheert
ON making up this weeks issue ,/and
we do so at the cats tail YoRkars Ga
zette.
The fashion of wearing gold pigs as
jewelry was mean trick, | know, Sis.
on the daughters of Israel. - Puck.
"Trick, know Sisr' The man who
perpetrated such magnificent tribute
to our national quadruped should be
presented with the freedom of Chicago.
--Ne,0 York Commercial Advertiser.
An Iowa exchange says: Sunday
morning our Devil" stole pail and
slipped off to the prairie and picked
about six quarts of nice delicious wild
strawberries. On his return we read
him severe lecture on Sabbath break
ing, and - he divided the berries with
us.
"Aunty," said her neice, half open
ing the old lady's bedroom door, about
l O'Clock in the morning, "there's a
smell of burning spirits in the house,
and | came to tell you" ooh, don't
disturb yourself, my dear. It's only
your uncle. He returned just after
midnight, and is resting himself in the
hallway Brooklyn Eagle.
Machines in a watch factory will cut
screws with $50 threads to the inch
the finest used in watch has $50
TheSe threads are invisible TO the naked
eye, and it takes 144,000 Of the screws
to make a pound. A pound OF them
is worth six pounds of pure gold. Lay
one upon a piece of white paper and it
looks like tiny steel filing.
Gerster, while en- route home on ship
board, sang ina charity entertainment
A sailor listened, and thus gave ex-
preston to his feelings "Now, | tell
yer, and hang me, if that thar don't
sound as though il war the voice o
natur I've heard tell of, and j owns up
to feelin' moist in my headlights"
The New Orleans Picagnne informs
us that man by the name of Hash
has been sent as a missionary to the
cannibals under the belief that the ma
tives will not eat him. Was the gen
tlenan's Christian name Corn Beef or
Codfish2 The Hash family are well
known; they belong to one of the Oldest
and most respectable Southern board
ing houses in Washington.-Ne,O York
Commercial.
Mr.. Jay Gould was asked by Chi
cage reporter whether "the narrow
guage MANIA" in the West could not
be stopped? NO" replied Mr. Gould,
"you can't stop anything in this coun-
try. The country is too big. / made
up my mind long ago not to attempt
to stem any ideas, but to be fashiona-
BILE and drift along with the crowd,
keeping rs near to the shore as possi-
ble."
"Your first wife was woman of con-
siderable force of character" Eyes,
she had force" he said, securing a
grease spot on his waistcoat with his
thumb. Powerful mental machin-
ery?" "Well, don't recollect much
about that, but she had force. never
liked to oppose her in anything if there
was billet of Woo handy, = Brooklyn
Eagle.
Four drawing-rooms are held yearly
in London. The Lord Chamberlain
gives notice of each IN the London Ga.
sette, and the daily papers copy it.
Then ensues struggle for the honor
and glory of presentation on the part
of those, who having no special claim
al. ,N,N, rnt "a ahn oil
other things. To be presented is to be-
come current coin in society through
out the civilized world.
81 can't think all sinners will be
lost, said Mrs. Nimbletung. There's
my husband now. He's bad man,
very bad man, but | trust he will be
saved at last believe he has suffered
his due share in this life" "Amen ~
said Nimbletung from the back seat.
Mrs. N. gave him such look, bnt said
nothing.
The Manchester Mirror man gives
some of his relatives from th@rcountry
dead away in the following manner:
1.-TWO old ladies, evidently from the
interior of the state, were walking on
Elm street one day this week, when
one Of them discovered bunch of ban
anas. Stopping to look at them, she
adjusted her glasses and exclaimed
We'll, do declare, if them amt bigger
string beans than | ever saw in Bris-
toll
An army colonel, who hoped to be
appointed to the Brigadier Generalship
which General Miles afterward received,
was seen gazing at the skies one night.
"What are you looking for Colonel
Mackenzie ?" said Captain Mclaughlin.
"Oh, said the Colonel, 81 am looking
for star" Colonel, - replied the Caps
tain, 'there's Miles between you and
that star" And there was.-Detroif
Free Press.
A California hunter, on recent ex-
petition, had occasion to cross a very
wide and rapid stream. Among his
dogs was terrier and Newfoundland.
The terrier refused to enter the water,
and the Newfoundland tried several
times to lead him in, by boldly plung=
ing in and wagging his tail in conf
dent manner, but the terrier only kept
further from the stream. At last, dis.
gusted by the timidity of the little cur,
the big dog rushed at the alarmed ter
rier, seized him by the neck and
jumped in the torrent with him. The
terrier yelled murder" and "policc,"
in the most expletive language known
to the canine tongue, until the New
foundIand deposited him safely on the
other side.
A plant which grows wild in Aouisi-
ana has Just been discovered to possess
a valuable fiber. 1t is the ] Caroliniana.
the pest i1f the alluvial lands, called To-
caly wild indigo, coffee weed and
SIENNA. The plant has q fibrous bark,
easily reduced, and is valuable fiber
for many purposes 1t is .4ot 81 fine as
iute, but it is quite as strong. It is
well suited for the manufacture of
bagging, sacking, mating and rope.
This weed springs up spontaneously in
the fields after the corn is laid by, and
attains its growth and goes to seed be-
fore frost. 1t costs nothing for It's pro-
duction, and the only expense is at
tendant upon its harvesting and prep
aratiOn for the market.
DR.. Mary Walkers Bid That IlIustri-
Gus Female Suggests Breaking the
Deadlock by Electing Her henatOr.
OswEGo, n. Y. June 26.--The fact of
DR.. Mary Walkers candinacy for the
New York Senatorship has already
been published. The full text Of her
opinion, which is brief and in good form