The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1881-12-02
Odd Items.


Does not the poet say: "The bravest
are the tenderest?'
A secret society of women in Concord
is called the "Order of Select Doo-Doos.'
Must be an aesthetic hay fever crowd.
Doc udderly doc doc, you know,
Inexpressible woe care you feling
very ill., asked the physician; "let me
see your tongue, please Its no use,
doctor replied the poor patient; mo
tongue can tell how bad | feel.
4 high compliment: Jones-"What
did you think of my argument, Fogg?'
Fogg-"It was sound; very sound,
(Jones is delighted) Nothing but sound,
in fact (Jones reaches for a brick.)
AMERICAN WINES.
But few persons are aware OF the great
amount of grapes raised in New Jersey.
Alfred Speer is known to be the largest
wine grower east of the Rocky noun
tains His Port Grape Wine is the best
and is considered by physicians and
chemists as the best wine to be procured.
For sale by G. a. kleim druggist,
Bloomsbury, Pa.
Curiosity is sometimes easily satisfied
If you want to know whether the hornets
are at home, just tap on the nest and
they will come out and tell you.
a Nevada man announces that he has
invented lying machine. If he thinks
he's struck anything new he's mistaken.
We've had gas meters for long time.
KIND WORD OF ADVICE.
If you feel yourself growing weak,
your strength failing, the natural func-
ton of the body becoming impaired,
take warning in time; your system needs
Iron, which, when combined with proper
vegetable extracts, produces tonic of
rare medicinal effect. Such remedy is
Browns Iron Bitters Buy it of your
druggist and do not be persuaded to
take a substitute, for this is the only rem
edy which gives permanent strength, 1t
contains no alcohol, nor does it blacken
the teeth. 1t receives the universal en-
dorsement of clergymen, physicians,
druggists and all who have used it.
Some men when they go to church
never think of studying the frescoing on
the ceiling until the collection plate is
being passed around.
Ayers Hair Vgor restores the color
and stimulates the growth of the hair,
prevents it from falling off and greatly
increases its beauty. 1t has a delicate
and lasting perfume, its ingredients are
harmless, and for the toilet it is une
qualed,
\ short meter wedding-A young
clergyman in Iowa recently married {
couple in the following brief manner
'Do You want to have one another?
Both replied yes. "Wel, then, have
one another.
A Nevada school teacher died the 9th
) er day, and the local papers announce,
it under the head, Loss of a Whaler.
, EPISCOPAL METHODIST.
( Warranted not to contain single pai
{ ticle of mercury or any injurious or min
. eral substance, but to consist entirely q
/ medicinal roots and herbs, which is tn
,. reason Simmons Liver Regulator is 5
= effectual yet so harmless.
g This medicine is acknowledged {
G have no equal as liver medicine, COZ
5 tanning those Southern roots and herl
e which an allwise Providence has place
v in countries where liver disease pr
e walls, ,"--"Baltimore Episcopal Meth,
@ dist.
G. \ Washington widow excuses heree
~ | 4r,,,, ,,.,,,,in,, e l.
g husbands funeral, declaring that cryil
a always made her nose bleed,
ot UNRIvALEp
o. As being a certain cure for the wor
he forms of dyspepsia, indigestion, cons
Is, patton, impurity of blood, torpid liy,
is disordered kidneys, etc, and as me
"a cine for eradicating every species of
lf- NOR, from an ordinary pimple to
ue worst ulcer, Burdock Blood Bit
by stands unrivaled. Price Sl.OO, trial 5
~, 10 cents.
ex- Sitting Ball is horrible ugly. An
MS ticer showed him looking glass the
MS er day and frightened the old man
ap- that he rushed up to headquarters
- surrendered himself six times in
minutes.
The past tense of bee hive is
hooye, If you don't believe it sit on
nt, and see if it don't bchooye you
nee get up.
one
ac HEAVY SWELL.
ed Jacob H. Bloomer Nmgllc, n.
BOT writes; "Thomas EcIcctric OIL eur
5 of badly swollen neck and sore throa
pre- folty-eight hours, My wife was
e 10 cured of lame foot in twenty
hours