The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-04-28
AREAS AND STORM CENTRES.
Lucid Description by the Philosopher Irri.
luut,

81 see," said Mrs. Spoopendyke. as she laid
the paper down, II see that we are to have ris-
ing, followed by falling barometer, with north
east to southeast winds, and higher or lower
temperature, with clear, or partly cloudy wealth
er, and light rains. How is it they contrive to
tell so accurately about the weather. Do they
understand it 2"
Certainly" replied Mr.. Spoopendyke. "They
do it by observation. They have a man out
West observing, and man down East who OBJ
serves, and fellows observing around in different
parts of the country. They all put their obser-
yations together, and we know just what it's
going to do"
81 suppose that's what makes the wind so
different every morning, when one mans tenn
perature is rising, another's is falling, and when
one is clear all the rest partly cloudy, with"
mo, they amt. Each observer sends in what
he observes, and the Chief makes up his mind
from those reports what the weather will be-
Can't yOu understand ~
Perfectly" said Mrs. SpOopendyke, rubbing
her eyebrows. "lfone sees the barometer rising
and another sees it falling, and it's cold in one
place, and cloudy in another, they all say so.
But should think when one hits it, the others
wOuld he awful mad"
'.What would they get mad aboutfr demand
ed MIR. Spoopendyke. .'iou don't imagine that
they all get together and fight it ont, do you (,
They take the weather from different points and
combine it, and then they parcel it ont among
the different regions. For instance il il SHOWS
an average in the Lake region. Now, what's
the average between heat and snow. 2"
''Ran," cried Mrs. Spoopendyke, delighted
with her sagacity. 81 see how il is now. They
take what is usually going on, and equalize 1t
all over the country. I'm glad the Democrats
weren't elected
''What have they got TO do with itf Do you
think Il barometer is politician -
''No. But if the Democrats had been elect
ed, they would have had to change it all around,
Ifts ALL
the hest share. That's what the Repub-r
''Dod CAST the Republicans! They've got no
more to do with il than you have. You've got
an idea that they throw the barometers and OBJ
servers into one end of steam engine, and the
weather comes out the other. They don't make
weather. The weather makes itself It's the
only selfsuppOrtins thing about the Govern
ment. And these signal men only watch it, and
tell what it's going To be-"
81 suppose when these observers all get to-
gether and talk it over, that is called a storm
centre, isn't il ~
That's itr' shouted Mr. Spoopendyke. ''You've
got the weather, now. All You want is Your
name painted on the handle, and the spring bro
ken, To he AN umbrella. They don't talk il
over; they tell what they know, and it's fixed
up in Washington. They agree on it here, and
then they telegraph it all over the country. A
storm centre travels around everywhere. It's
generally made in Manitoba, and then sent down
here
deeply interested. '.Because, if it isn't too big
| should think they might stop it,"
''Wide. Its about foot wide. Just foot.
Just about as wide your measly information
How're they going To stop il Spose il travels
railroad train ! Think it Jaws the sleeping
ear conductor because there's only IN upper
berth left Well, it don't! Ii hires a horse.
That's the way il comes. Ii hires horse ~
howled Mr.. Spoopendyke, :" and the way to stop
il is to bnild a fence arunnd it. There was some
talk about burning the last one, but the wood
was wet
.'Well, my dear. you needn't get mad about
it, said Mrs. Spoopendyke, soothinsly. IL on
~ thought there might he some way they could
make some arrangement about il. i think
storm centres are horrid, and the observer in
Manitoba must have a hard time. If he has TO
observe much in the winter he must be nearly
frozen"
docs any human being know what you're
thinking about = raved Mr.. SpoOpendyke. 'Do
yOn sp0se he goes around with spy-slass look
ing behind rocks. Think he prowls around all
night with a dod- gasted lantern hunting up
storm centres! Got an idea that he runs around
under the bed with broom, like a measly mar
red woman | know of, and when he catches a
centre, pulls him ont 10y the legs and observes
himi He don't do anything of the sort. He
has 'em in to spend the evening with him, and
gets 'em drunk, and finds ont what they're up
Ia. Understand il nowi All yon want is to
whirl around twice and squeak nights, to be a
veather-vane."
Il didn't know how they did it, quoth Mrs.
SpoOpendyke, complacently, ''but | see it now.
If the Prohibitionists had been elected he
couldn't have done that, and We would have
been in bad way. Now that | understand il,
I'll learn the indications every morning. How
does q barometer rise and fall -
'With jack screws, dod CAST it thnndered
Mr. Spoopendyke. sometimes they haul it up
with a stump machine then they drop a
penter's shop on it. When it gets very low, they
blow it up with gun-eotton. Once in Dakota, it
got so high they had to dig a hole and ram it
down with a Spite driver. Got it now Begin
to see through it ? What you need is a box of
pills and connnilrum, to he an almanac" and
Mr.. Spoopendyke jumped out of the honse like
concal shot, and hanged the door after him.
II never understood it BEFORE soliloquized
Ms. SPoopendyke, specializing whether she'd
put the plume on the side or back part of her
hat. .'bnt now that he's made it plain to me,
wonder why they don't observe by steam. 1t
must he awful hard on the poor men" and hav
ing decided about the plume, Mrs. Spoopendyke
filled her month with pins and crowled under
the bed, in search of her thimble.