Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1881-10-22

And say some nice things when one dies;
man in whose unwilling ear
Are poured all scandals, far and near;
TO whom all come with cark and care;
Who must his peoples burdens bear;
man whom men folk patronlZe
And whom the women idOliZe;
man we laugh at when we can
such, reader, Is the clergyman.
The clergyman children, is probably the most
curious specimen in our collection. His whole
business consists in an eRdeavor to make men
good. not thinking, apparently, that if all were
good he would have to go out of business.
The clergyman has other duties. such for in
stance, as engineering fairs, making oyster stews
and lemonade, and curing love-sck people by
joining them in marriage.
clergyman is also expected to make the
rounds of his parish weekly. This is not very
OnerOus task 1t does not take all of his time.
He has a few hours each week for sermon
writing and sleep.
AS the flock sleep while the clergyman is pre-
pairing his sermon, they think it no more than
fair that they should sleep while he is read
ing it, III
1t must be said, however, to the credit OF the
ladies. that they seldom GO to sleep in church.
They generally keep their eyes open during the
service. New bonnets areiwOrn to church.
The clergyman is paid for praying for people
who would never think of praying for them
selves. They know how much praying for they
need, probably, and shrink from undertaking
the task.
thing, and yet everybody in the congregation
thinks he knows more than the clergyman
II the clergyman sticks to religion pure and
simple, the congregation complain that he gives
them nothing new; if he touches upon living
questions, they accuse him of preaching poll
tics.
If the clergyman does not visit his parishon-
ers every day or two, they say he is very
poor pastor; if he makes his visits regularly.
they soon discover that he is very poor
preacher.
If he extemporizes, they complain that his
discourse is rambling; if he breaches from notes,
they say any fool can do that
If clergyman says but little at a funeral, he
Is called cold and unsympathetiC; If he SAYS
much, he is accused of gushing.
The clergyman is the last person many man
would help support, and he is the last man many
ask favor of. He is not called in till the fune-
raj is appointed.
A man who never helped pay the clergyman
While alive can not be expected to give him
anything when dead.
If clergyman does not keep abreast of the
literature of the day, the congregation say he
is behind the time: if he gives them an epitome
OF the best thoughts of the best writer's, they
accuse him of plagiarism and stealing.
II clergyman breaches short sermons, he Is
accused of lazness; if he breaches long SER
mons, the people vote him tedious.
1.-The dresses like other people. his appear
ance is said to be unminiserial; if he dresses in
sombre black or dons white choker he is
charged with affectatiOn.
If he busies himself at the fair and social,
it is said that he had better put more time in
his sermons; if he gives his whole time to his
sermons, he is said to be poor worker.
The clergyman, it is said lives on the ignorance
of mankind. Ifthis be true, he should have the
best of living; but good living is difficult
thing for clergyman to get.
When you grow up, children, if you would be
rich, you should all be clergymen, but it would
be better to try something else first.