The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1881-04-22
Odd Items.

Red flannel strings on bonnets are
good for sore throat.
An ice education can be had at a
freeze school.
Don't tempt people TO sin. Don't ask
the maple sugar dealer if it is new.
Business Dilemma. A man suffering
with cough obliged to keep his room.
note TO pay and no money in bank, ,and
not single bottle of DR. Bulls cough
syrup TO be had in ten miles
We never heard of chestnut's ex-
ploding, but we've felt a chestnut burr
sting.
When n man fails as peanut vender,
there's nothing left for him to do but
to turn agitator
Go out in the damp air, or sit uapro-
tected in the draught, and your throat
will feel sore and your head uncomfort-
able. You have taken cold, which you
can remove as promptly as you received
it by using Ayers Cherry Pectoral.
A story in three chapters: I-Jones
started drug store. Chapter Hills
cash ran out. Chapter Ill Jones fol-
lowed his cash.
a New York man has discovered an
''invisible soap 1t is the same article
that small boys have used in their morn
ing ablutions from the most remote pc
riod.
TIE maple tree is an emblem of Chris
tian forbearance. The more it is bored
the more sweetness il eyudes
Fifty years ago such thing as beer
glass was not to be seen on earth. If
you wanted to kill a man you had to hit
him with some unhandy thing.
ECONOMICAL ADVICE
IF ! were going to buy violin, what
method should take to get it cheap?
Why wait till father or I had the rheuma-
tism and then buy bottle of Ecectric
Oil. For | should not only get them
cured but phial in (Violin.)
A Bridgeport man has invented a wig
holder 1t must be made on an hair
loom.
The fool hath said in his heart: "Any
one can write for paper" Try it, oh
fool, try it.
Jones says that the clouds of his early
childhood were no bigger than
womans hand, but squall always fol-
| lowed them.
Latest news from Marion, O.: DR..
Thomas Eclectric Oil again triumphant.
Mr.. Seigfred used it for severe cold and
pain in side; relieved in few minutes.
| Ena M,,Inl,lar ,,1l niti.n,,
beats anything he ever tried for rheuma-
tism.
Daniel Hoffman, an old farmer a lit
tie south Of Marion, says it cured him of
a sore throat of eight years standing
AL. Runyan says he has been a suffer-
er from rheumatism and has tried scores
of remedies but all to no purpose; one
bottle of Dr. Thomas Eclectric Oil has
cured him entirely.
a man who was formerly night watch
man refers to it as his late occupation.
Young people are always ready to
adopt the "latcst wrinkle 1t is the
first wrinkle that they object to-
NEW JERSEY PREMIUM WINE.
Physicians state that the Port Wine
that took the premium at the Centennial,
produced and offered for sale by Mr.. AL
fred Speer, of New Jersey, is a wine
that can be safely used for medicinal
purposes, being pure and free from
medication, and is more reliable
than other Port Wines. 1t is espe-
cially re c ommended for weakly females
and the aged. For sale by G, "A. Klein,
druggist, Bloomsburg, Pa.
The man who digs dtches gets space
well for his work.
IT'S easier to smoke q ham than 10 su-
gar-cure cigar
NOT EXACTLY.
2 Have you ever been much at sea?
, No, not exactly, but my brother married
, an admrals daughter.
= Were you ever in France? No, not
exactly, but my mothers name was
French.
Did YOU ever have the rheumatism?
No, not exactly, but my father had and
+ he Cured it with DR.. Thomas Eclectric
Il Oil.
q A young American in Paris writes
: home to his father: "All the theatres
y" and many of the churches are now open
every Sunday in this city
= Why is hattcry like eau de colognei
II Because it is merely to be shifted at, no
l. swallowed
q The liver is more frequently the sea
@ of disease than is generally supposed, ,fol
~ upon its regular action depends, in
: great measure, the powers of the stom
N ach, bowels, brain, and the whole ner
a. vous system Regulate that importan
n organ by taking Simmons Liver Regu
Is lator, and you prevent most of the diseas
/ es that flesh is heir to.
IN The Syracuse Standard asks: "Wil
rs some one tell MS what Mrs. Langtry'
{ maiden name was?' Certainly, he
Sc maiden aim was to marry Mr.. Langtry
n. Street gamin to u friend: "Say Bill
&c yer must quit going to variety shows e,
W cry night or the people will take you 70
ID a country member of the Legislature"
III now SHE SAVED MONEY.
A "For nearly six years my daughtc
:, was IN, st of the time on sick bed froi
" kidney and other diseases peculiar I
.ol womer. We had used up our saving
,r on doctors and prescriptions without an
on benefit. Our dominic advised us to II
-" Parkor's Ginger Tonic, and four bottl,
~ effected marvellous cure, AS it h;
,nr been our only medicine since, and do
", lars worth has kept our family well ov,
;n Il year, we have been able TO lay up
he little money again for rainy day
w A Poor Mans Wife.
th An Indiana applicant for an inspecto
De- ship of customs, after wearing an Oh
lie. mans hat for twenty four hours, chang,