The Hickman courier. [volume] (Hickman, Ky.) 1859-current, 1881-03-25
LITTLE JoHNNY's ANECDOTES.
~ Aeits Numerous stories About Numer~
u InsIa a Anin.nla-

Gus Kinds Of AnInanIs-
tossums has tobacco pouches ON tho
stomach, and one time there was a pos
sum which was show. A feller come to
see the show, and he had bunch of fire
crackers, e., cause it was the Fourth of July.
ne teller he took one off and put it in
MS mouth, and then he lit one of tho
others and held 'em out to the 'possum,
ana sad: Have you a cigarette?" The
possnm 1t snatched 'em, and crammed
EN- m its pounch, and wank its eyes,
ana sad: ''Now, you can jest wistle for
your old cigarettes, for am a regular
sa ymgs bank, l am.
Bnt bimeby tho crackers they went off
Wig. and you never seen seech busted
bank like that possum.
Ms uncle Ned had n possum which
wqsa pet, and ne had a little nusic-box
faa butna sisters young man he plays
the fiddle and Sammy DoppY he can
crow like rOosters. One day the piano
was moved out of the parlor, and Uncle
Ned he wound up the music-box and
looked the other way, and the possum it
sneaked up and put the mnsic-box in the
tobaccopouch OF its belly, playin the
Sweet By and BY real nice. Then Uncle
Ned hewent into the kitchen and called
Mary, he hOusemaid, and said: ''Alary,
You gOin the parlor and tell your mis-
tress When she gets done playin' the
piano Iwould like to see her.
Bimiby Mary she comes a running
back, rite like a sheet, and said: "Oh,
if you please, sir, that nasty cat Of you'rn
has ct he pianner"
And now III tell you little story
about snakes. When Mr.. Pitchell was a
missionary preacher in Africa he seen a
natiff niger trying for to catch long
snake. Mr.. Pitchell he said: "What
do you mean to take that feller in your
handsi' The natifT nigger said he did,
if his gods was willing that he should
get tai hold. Mister Pitchell he said:
''Ain't hem kind of snakes pizen?" and
the niger said: I've ct ten this morn
ing, AM feel pretty well. Mebby they
would pizen me if L was greedy like
hogs.
other time when Mister Pitchell was
there auatif niger which was the King
he said 10 him: ''You come to the pal
lace neN Sunday and preach to rs poor
convertd heathens and / viii have a
mighty good dinner ready for you when
you haye got done" SO Mister Pitchell
he wentand preached, and while he was
preaclin he kept smellin' the dinner
which was being boiled mighty nice, and
every time he smelt it he stopped 10 get
a good whiff of it. Bimeby the King he
got mad and he said: 'You just go on
with the preach. 1t amt nobody but
that galoot Sambo Caesar He was al
ways a scOflin' while he was alive, and
now the garn dasted infidel pushes up
the pot lid for to interrupt Our deyo-
tionsl''
II I was King would take my big
saword and cut all the wicked inidels'
heads off, yes, indeed but when You cut
hens head off the preacher he comes
next day and eats her. Hens lay eggs
and the rooster flops his wings and
crows when he thinks hisseIf better
fighter than a other rooster, but the
feller on the new steeple he don't crow,
and if he could lay eggs they would be
all busted. Eggs Is incest with ham and
sOssidge and buckwheat cakes, and a
whole apple pie all for your own self
Biddad, that's the new dog, he likes cold
apple dumplings, but Towser that's the
dog died, he had wort on his nose.
The dog is the king of beasts, but
snakes is more like eels. Ny sisters
young man says one time in Indy there
was a man had to travel long jurney on
foot, and so he hired a snake-charmer to
protect nllli, COS TIE SuthtS lDtIt Is Il |
mighty bad lot. So the man and the
eharmer they started, and after they had
gone about mile the charmer he stopt |
md said: 81 guess it's about time for
ne to begin earning my money" SO |
le took foot ont of his close and began |
% play a tune, and pretty soon some |
makes crawled ont of the grass for TO see |
what was mp. And bimeby some more |
,ome and stood around too, till after n
While there was bout thousan' hundred |
zig pizen snakes all around 'em and the
nan was frightened most to death.
Then the charmer put away his foot and |
aid: ''You can't find any fault with |
uch charmin' as that, l guess, can you? |
Sow, if you are ready to go on Jest |
,other club and wade in, and if we are |
o fortunate as to get through we will |
ome pretty soon to jungle where you |
an hire a cousin of mine, which can
harm lions and taggers.