Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1881-09-03
IFrom the Brooklyn Eagle.]

- .F - suS AS06 - IL .Elv z =
"My dear" said Mrs. Spoopendyke,
timidiy, pulling at the mosquito bar,
sits time you we're up; you'll be late
at the ofice.' " 49,, srs- ~
For reply Mr.. Spoopendyke emit
ted. q sound that might have been a
groan or q grunt, but was i'll fact an
in~articulate nore. "a
SIT is past nine," again ventured
Mrs. Spoopendyke, extending a cup
Of tea toward the bed. ss'''-~ b,
"Dod CAST it," said Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke, 81 don't care what time it is..
Pm not going down town to-day.
anyway" And he sat up in bed aud
glared ut his wife. "What's that p.
he added as his swollen, bloodahot
eyes rested on the steaming tea cup.
"Don't you want a cup of tea this
morning, dear?" suggested Mrs.
Spoopendyke. It'll do your head
ache good" $50, II
Headache, eh 2" pgrowled Mr..
Spoopendyke. "Who said 1 had a
headache? F'raps Eve got a glandu-
lar swelling aud an abdominal WIS.,
cera and measles" he continued in a,
louder tone. "Take me for Il mid
night assassin, don't you? Think
I'm running a parlor police gazette,
don't your bod CAST theismeasiy7
thing" he shouted, uncoiling 4
damp towel from his head . "why
don't you bind up my perforated
liver All you want is a pound of
courtplaster and a bulletin-board to
a drink i".@ -
'sIt's hot" said Mrs. Spoopendyke,
hesitatingly proffering the teacup,
s'but it's nice aud slrong-just, the
thing for q disordered stomach"
"Oh, you know all about it,, don't
YOU" howled Mr.. Spoopendyke.
"You've been out with the boys
yourself, haven't you Fine turn
you've got for con~vivia1ity. You
wouldn't 60 home till Friday week
morning, wouidiyou;?, All you want
is q dirty apron and half a dozen
dead heats to be a first-class gin-mill.
bod CAST the measley tea," bawled
Mr.. Spoopendyke, hitting the, saucer
q whsck that sent the sealdiug liquid
into his wife's face. "Gimme some
GIN i.
Mrs.Spoopendyke shrieked "Ouch!".
and stopped down to gather up the.
broken CHINA. aud her spouse after
surveying the ruins and satisfying
himself that she was not ,nIortally
wounded, flung his head OH the. pll.
low again and groaned. =
"He didn't notice the black eye he
gave me last night" murmured Mrs.
Spoopendyke, land warm teas a
splendid thing for bruises, so perhaps
it wac all for the best, only | wish
1t hadn't been quite so hOt,0 , O.
After putting on a little toilet
powder she went softly to the window
and pulled down the shades. ale
needs Sleep" she said gently, "a,id l
don't wonder ut it., coming i'll at 4
O'Clock this morning. No wonder
his legs couldn't support him, Pm.
glad | slept before he came i'll, or |
shouldn't be able to ak today NV
self"
"Where's that gin?" yelled Mr..
Spoopendyke. beside himself with
fury. "What are You pulling down
Them shades for? Think you're
going to have a funeral in the house?
'Spose you're a dod gasted measly
widow Wondering who'll provide
you with wsepers? Think you're
SO let again, don't You? Twelve
hundred dollars a year, will, all
modern improvements , on a long
lease. bod CAST it, a bunch of Hevs
aud half a column advertisement IS
all you need to be Il measly insurance
agent: 90 round peddling books
with black-edged paper, won't you Z.
bod CAST. 1t, where's that gin? Do.
you KNOT what gin is, Mrs. Spoopen-