, 1881-07-24
SUNDAY SALAD.

Every man who kan swap horses or ketch
fish, and not lie about 1t, IL just ~ piuz az
men ever git tu be in this world.-Jos| Bill
itgs.
II take my tex dis morning. said a col
ored preacher. ''1rom hat potion oh de
Scripture whar dc Postol Paul pints his pis-
tol to lie Fcsons.''
There was young man from the Mission
Who spent ull his Sundays a hshin'1
He said Hades. for Hell,
When they didn't bite we'll.
For he read the Revised Edition.
''W!lat denomination do you belong to ="
asked the ltat!er Of IL free prayer-nIeeting. ad-
dressing 4 rollgll-1o0king customer who had
StrnllcH in and taken frunt seat - Hose
Company No. 13,'' WAS the philistine's an
swtr.
"What's your favorit hymno" whispered
the priest to tile culprit as the Sherlfl was
fixing the noose around his neck.
= It wasn't no him that brought me to
this" sadly remarked the condemned, 'it
was Il hcr.''
"Papa.'' said an inq,lisitive boy, this
morning the Dominic prayed for more rain,
and this afternoon Deacon Bixby prayed for
dry weather TO get his hay in. Now, II the
the Lord loves the Deacon and the Dominic
just the same, what do you suppose He'll do
My son." answered the old gentleman,
Stcrnly, whenever you want to- ask foolish
questions go to your mother: don't coue to
mc."
Editor-fl1-Chief: "What are you writing
about there Scratcllem ~ Scratclleln: !:
why, sir, Pm getting up all article for
Sunday pitching into Judas 1scariot. twill
please our religious readers Edtor-in-
Clief: 70 M, SeratcIlenl, tilat'll never tlo:
understand me as apo1ogizing fur Mr.. lscar-
lut-llot 1T a!l-Only it is a rule OF the paper
to never speak i'll Of the t|ead.' And Judas
1scariot floats over into the waste basket
Louisville C0uricr-Jour7ldl.
Missionary enterprise: Two. fashionable
DR.. ,Pentecost's Ebenezer Chapel, on their
way to church last Sunday passed in frontof
Frltz's beer saloon, on the corner of Austin
avenue, when one Of them asked: DO you
Of beer before the church service begins -
Are you going to pay cash down." asked
the other Not much. am going to make
Fritz hang it up OH the slate, with the rest"
In thai case we are doing a gooa deed.
Fritz will never get his money, and that vii!
be lesson to the id Dutchn'an. It will
teach him that it is wrong to sell beer on the
Lords day."
Tom Marshall was engaged in the trial of
a case i'll the interior of Kentucky, when q
decision Of the Judge struck him as so bad
that lie rt'Se and said:
There never was such ruling as that
since pontius Pilate presided OIL the trial Of
Christi
''Mr. Clerk" responded the Judge, s' fine
Mr.. Marshall SO fnr contempt of court"
Il confess, your Honor" continued Tom,
that what | said was little hard on
Pontius Pilate, but it is the first time In the
history Ut Kentucky Jurisprudence that it Is
held that to speak diSresptctfully Of Ponttus
Plate Is contempt Of court"
u Mr.. Clerk, make the fine $50 for a con-
tinuuus contempt" said the Judge sOlemnly.
swell, Judge" Tom added, "as you won
the twenty
"Alr, Clerk cried the Judge, hastily, "re~
nit the fine. The State can afford to lose
the money better than c1n.'
!" ] congratulate the Court upon its return
to a sane condition." said Tom, reSuming
his sent amid rOarS Of laughter.
CALENDAR FOR TIE WEEK.
EPISCOPAL.
July :a-Slxth Sunday after Trinity.
July :sl-St+ JMnes.
July :.J-Fast.
July 24-Seventh Suu1ay after Pentecost.
July 25-St. .'nIlcs the Greater, Ap.
July 46-St. Anne. Mother Of the u. V. N.
July :s-St- Margaret, Queen OF Scott aud from
June l0l, ST. PentAeou, N-
July :a-ss: Nnzaritls and Comp, Mn; St. 1nno-
cent. r. c.
July en-st. Martha, v; IS. Felix and Comp,
MN.
July Su-The Seven Brothers. NM. tfrom July
l0l; SIS. Abdon and semen, MN.