The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1881-05-25
VARIETIES.

we hear OF HAL WIN Aoo Hn"N
fortune by attending to his own bust
ness. This is authentic. But then
he had few competitors.
J.. "Teach your boy to think for him
self" exclaims Bob Ingersoll. Don't
you do it bub. The minute you DIT
fer with the old man he'll booJack
you.
A Philadelphia man who has found
bed of remarkably fine clay on his
property IN the suburbs, is undecided
whether to start brick-yard or a
French candy shop.
A little boy, hearing his father say
that there was time for all things"
climbed up behind his mothers chair
and, whispering in her ear, asked:
"When is the proper time tor
hooking sugar out of the sugar ha-
sin?n
A little girl inquiries Of her friend,
who had passed her eighth year,
"What causes the rain ?" to which
the following beautiful reply was
given: "The drops of rain are the
tears shed by angels over the sins of
the world"
He was too solemn preacher he
didn't suit in Nevada. The chair
man OF the farewell committee ex-
pressed it well. Said he: "Now
you can git, pard we amt agin re-
ligion out here, and IT rifles us to see
a fellow spilin' it. Ctr
An early lesson in art.-While
! visiting The Louvre iii Paris a lady
shows the Venus of Milo to her lit
tie daughter. "Rut tell me,mamma,"
remarked the child, what did they
eat her arms off tori" because she
was always sucking her thumb, my
child"
Women can keep secrets. A Wor-
cester girl, OH friends promising
solemnly not to tell, told that she
was going to have tour new dresses,
costing $50 each. The friend religi>
ously kept her promise not to tell,
and the first mentioned young lady
does not speak TO her now.
A New York correspondent says
''aL last red hair is fashionable" This
will please the six or seven red head
ed girls in the country. " AT least
this was the number that owned UP
to having red hair when the last cen
sus was taken but there may have
| been one or two born since then. -
| NorTiSt0aoB Herald.
Just as the company is about TO sit
down 10 the table, tie old grand
mother cries with a bhudder: "Thir.
teen at table-one of us will die with.
in a year, Send out for some one to
join US and remove the dishes ill he
is found" "Never mind, grandma,
says her grandsone, a growing boy of
ID, I'll eat for two"
Eyes," said fresh girl at show,
81 know my beau goes out between
acts, but he's nice and never drinks
anything but coffee, because l can
always smell it as plain as day, and
| know the smell oi coffee from beer
Or whiskey,it l am little bit green. u
1t is very happy thing for young
man to have a girls confidence.
The sharpest so far this month is
the Troy girl who makes her unsus.
pecting daddy the daily bearer of
sweet missives to a clerk in his office
who has been forbidden to visit his
employers house. She pins the let
ter in the old mans cloak, and when
he reaches the office and throws of
the garment, clers gets it and re.
spends by the same carrier.
On Physiognomy. = Enthusiastic
yoang lady: "What sweetly pretty
boy of yours, Mrs. Finnigan.
What beautiful black eyes he has
Pm sure he will be both excitable and
impulsIve-black-eyed people always
are, you know" Mrs. Finnegan:
"Snre, Miss, an perhaps you're right.
His father is excitable and impus.vo
enough, bedad! So, loikly, it's why
he's never without black eye, sorra
bit."--Judy
A little Oil City boy whose father
gave him printing press the other
day, has already discovered the dan.
gers and pitfalls which surround the
path of the printer He set up and
printed a little gfIt.edged card with
the warning phrase, "Painl!look out!''
by some means this card became fast.
ened to his sisters hat, and hung just
above her ear, where he who could
run could read, and when she went