Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1881-08-10

until he becomes so confused that he
does not know whether he is a practic-
ing attorney with a gilt sign or q n.y.
wheel on q steam woodsaw. Finally ne
runs out of questions, and with sign
of relief or something tells the witness,
"Thats ALL" So he grinds through,
and at last the prosecutor rises ano pro-
eeeds to address the jury in q mastery
style. As he progresses he picks W. the
evidence adduced by the defence into
particles fine enough TO be Incorporated
into codfish-balls. The youthful Black
stone wrestler begins to feel uneasy as
his mind reverts to the fact that IN
few moments he must deliver his
maiden speech. He wishes the prose-
cutor would hold his grip and keep 1t
until time to adjourn court, feeling
satisfied that he could make splendid
speech the next day after nights tight
ING ON the evidence. He tries to re-
member Whist the witness swore to, but
cannot recall the evidence to save his
life. The prosecutor finally winds up
with q grand peroration, and as ne says,
"And in conclusion, gentleman OF the
iury," the youth nervously fingers his
moustache, il he happens TO have one
about him, and wishes he had never be-
gun the abominab!e business. Cold
chills are lingering him all over the
back as ii measuring him for new
shirt, and his spinal column acts like 1t
Was tired and wanted to sit down
while. Like Banquo's ghost, the lump
in his throat won't down by an obstinate
majority, and he swallows at 1t and
wonders what he is going to say, and
how long it will take him to say 1t. AS
the prosecutor calmly takes his seat the
young lawyer rises and moves to the
front. He dare not look at the audience,
and tries to imagine there Is no one In
the room but himself and the twelve
sphynx.like forms in the jury-box. The
eyes OF each Juror are fixed upon him,
and he would almost relinquish his hope
of Heaven il some one wopld raise a cry
OF fire to divert their attention until he
gets a start. Finally he shrugs his
shoulders AID manages 10 remark, Gen
tlemen Of the (swallows) jury" Very
good. He then surveys them moment,
and every man in the box thinks he ID
endeavoring to read their thoughts; but
he isn't. He is wishing to gracious he
could read his own thoughts. AT last
he strikes out and goes for them about
their intelligent looks, and now he feels
that his clients interests are safe in their
hands. At the same time he feels serious
doubts as to their safety in his own
hands. He worries through his speech
with an average OF two swallows at that
lump to the sentence. The prosecutor
closes the argument, and the case goes
to the Jury, who retire 10 secluded
room to chew tobacco and ask each
other what they thought OF 1t. 1t 80
happened that the himsy testimony
against the accused warrants a verdict
OF not guilty, whereupon the amateur
grasps his clients hand, whispers, ut
was hard fight, but got you out OF
itw Then he rises. loads up enough
law books to swamp a mud.scow, casts
a triumphant look at the prosecuting
attorney, who smiles pleasantly in re-
turn, and walks slowly and majestically
down the aisle to the door with as much
dignity as ii he owned western rail.
way. Oh, you can't deny it, even you
old veterans, you've all been there