The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1881-07-23
A Chinaman's Attempt to Ride a Rn.L
ing Bronco,

When Chlnaman does most anrtl,: :,
in his own peculiar Oriental stvle 4 e
pretty apt to attract attention but whon
he gets on a bucking bronco with tba
cheerful assurance of a man who nndar-
stands his business, and has been CO.
versant with the ways of the bronco fo,.
over two thousand years, the craat
surging mass OF humanity ceases to
surge, and stands with bated breath and
watches the exhibition with unfiaooino
interest.
A Chinaman does not grab the bit If
the bronco and yank it around until the
noble steed can see thirteen new and
peculiar kinds of fireworks, or kick him
in the stomach and knock his ribs loose.
or swear at him until the firmament oets
loose and begins to roll together like a
scroll, but he ties his hair up in an Ori.
entail wad behind and jabs big hairpin
into it, and smiles, and says something
like what Guinea hen would say if she
got excited and tried to report one of
Bjoernstjerne Bjoernson's poems back
ward in his native tongue.
Then he gets on the wrong side and
slides into the saddle, making remark
as though something inside of him had
broken loose, and then the difficulty
begins.
At first the bronco seems surprised
and temporarily ratified Intellectually,
and he stands idly in the sunlight and
allows his mental equilibrium to wabhe
back into place, while the China115n
makes some observations that sound
like the distinct melody of a political
club going home at two O'Clock in the
morning and all talking at one and the
same time.
BY and by the bronco shoots athwart
the sunny sky like thing of life, and
comes down with all his legs in a clus-
ter like bunch of asparagus, and with
a great deal of force and expression.
This movement throws the China
mans liver into the northwest corner of
the thorax and his upper left hand
deuodessimo into the middle of the sub
sequent week, but he does not complain.
He opens his mouth and breathes in all
the atmosphere that che rest of the uni
verse can spare, and readjusting his
shirt-tail so that it will have the correct
inclination toward the horizon, he gent
ly tickles the bronco on the starboard
quarter with the cork sole of his corpu-
lent shoe. This mirth-provoking move
ment throws the bronco into the widest
mysteries, and for twenty minutes the
spectators don't see anything very dis
tinctly. The autumn sunlight seems to
be mixed up with blonde bronco, land the
softened haze of October seems fraught
with pale blue shirt-tail and disturbed
Chinaman, moving in an irregular orbit,
and occasionally throwing off meteoric
articles of apparel and his pre- historic
chunks of ignigenous profanity of the
vintage of Confucius, marked b. G. 1860.
When the sky clears up a little the
Chinaman's hair has come down and
hangs in wild profusion about his olive
features. The hem of his shirt-fap is
seen to be very much frayed, like an
American flag that has snapped in the
breeze for thirteen weeks. He finds also
that he has telescoped his spinal column
and damned two ribs through the right
superior duplex, and he has two or three
vertebr@ floating about through his sys-
tenn that he don't know what to do With.
The casual observer can see that the
Chinaman is a robust ruin, while the
bronco is still in good state of preser-
walton.
But the closing scene is still to come.
The bronco summons all his latent en-
ergy, and humping his back up into the
exhilarating atmosphere, he shoots for
ward with great earnestness and the
most reckless abandon, and when he
once more bisects the earth's orbit and
tabs his feet into the trembling earth,
shapeless mass of brocaded silk and
coarse black hair, and taper nails, and
Celestial shirt-tail, and Oolong profanity
and disorganized Chinese remains and
shattered Oriental hirt-destroyer, comes
down apparently from the New Jeru-
salem, and the Coroner goes out on the
street to get six good men and chemist,
and they analyze the collection.
They report that the deceased came
to his death by reason of conclusion,
supposed to have been induced by his
fall from the outer battlements of the
sweet by and by.-BW Nye.