River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1881-03-17
A STRANGE LAND.


vorite pipe and began to smoke.
Smoke generally has a soothing effect
on me. but tonight | felt ugly and
cross. | was tined of work Toll as
hard as l would, it seemed impossible
to get ahead. The office grew daily
more unbearable, and L sighed for a
change, cursed my poverty and all the
deprivations to which it subjected me.
work work. work." l said to my
SELF "year in and year out, to keep
body and soul together, and when I'M
able to work longer, then die. Such is
life"
had unused for some time over my
hard fate, when l gradually became
aware that a sweet feeling of calm and
repose was stealing over my drowsy
senses | could not account for it in
any way as had not even taken one
glass Of liquor the whole day long
OH / murmured, II am happy, if
il could always be like this, no work
forever Oh! for land where work is
never heard of. How quick | would
fly there. Oh. everlasting bliss"
Suddenly the room seemed to grow
brighter, and looking up | saw figure
robed in white and with snowy wings
standing near me. The face of the
figure was one Of exquisite lOveliness
and perfect calm. was not frighten-
ed. The beautiful mild look upon the
countenance of the figure gave me no
cause for alarm, 80 I said:
''WhO are your"
"A spirit" answered the figure.
"Apple-iack or Rye|
Rash mortal, beware" said the
spirit, with a frOwn.
"Well, what do you mean by com
ing around here on winters night
with only a night-gown on. Why don't
you buy an ulster?"
'Fool. vain fOoln' said the spirit II
come to aid thee and thou dost mock
me; art thou aware that | know all
things?"
as that SOP l replied Where's the
cat?"
The spirit only frowned, and so l
said
"When will Tammany disband?'
No answer came from the spirit, but
fancied saw him wink his left optic
do you know who wrote the 'MOrey
letter.
Imagined the spirit grew nervous,
so | said:
Being as you are from the other
world, and no doubt pretty well posted
ON the affairs of your own country,
will you please tell me the probabilities
Of jim Bennett ever wearing a white
robe and banging tin harp at
celestial picnic?'
The spirit gave frightful groan, and
thought ! would no longer converse
on personal matters.
''Well, who are you anyhow?" | ask
ed. Are you delegate in disguise
from the committee of one hundred
huntingup recruits for the party?"
Rash mortal" said the spirit; II
was flying through the air and heard
thy complaints against toll. If thou
art weary come with me and restr'
"Well, you're Il brick, after al, j."
replied. Put it there; and if you will
take seat for few moments | will
rush the growler."
The spirit looked at me in a melan-
choly way as if it did not understand.
Have cigar then as you don't
drink
Foolish mortal, come with me if
thou wouldst toll no more" said the
spirit in deep voice.
I'm your oyster" | replied,
BE it so" said the spirit.
The spirit waved its hands over me
and in an instant all grew dark.
heard loud buzzing in my head and
felt myself carried through the air ; a
terrific rate of speed. At last | felt
myselfse gently down and heard the
spirit say:
Look"
| opened my eyes and looked. l
shall never forget the sight. | was in
a beautiful country; the air was balmy
and perfumed; the most charming and
exquisite flowers and trees grew in
great profusion and endless variety as
far as the eve could reach. Rare birds
of varigated and and brilliant plumage
flew from tree to tree, singing III
melodious harmony; brooks of pure
water which reflected all the hues of
the rainbow, babbled and laughed be
meath the trees. A peaceful calm pre-
vailed and feeling of infinite rest
stole over me as | viewd the beauties
of the landscape before me.
"Where, oh where am I?' | asked
the spirit by my side.
This, said the spirit, ''this Is the
land where no man works.
For Heavens sake" / said, don't
let Abe Hewitt know it, or he will be
here with Thompson, Cooper and a lot
of heelers, and commence to reOrgan-
i2e the country in twenty-four hours
after they arrive"
The spirit smiled.
'No man enters here without my
aid" he said
"Ahr | exclaimed, you are perhaps
Chairspirit of the committee on Organ
ization. Do they ever try to work the
doodle racket on your
Rash mortal, cease thy mockery
said the spirit.
II assure YOU, my dear spirit, that
Messrs. Foster. Goodwin, Helbig and
Haffen did not think it was mockery.'
Il know not of what thou speaketh.
l heard thy complaints against thy
daily toll and came to thy aid. Here
IN this place no man works. Go forth
and enjoy myself"
But | don't see what I'm to eat, |
sai1
Fruit, said the spirit.
Great graft, l replied.
WHAT" thundered the spirit.
II remarked that | supposed that
there must be great graft to have such
fine fruit" | answered
Farewell said the spirit, and he
vanished in the air.
well, / said to myself, I've struck
a picnic at last. No more toll, nothing
ia do but eat and sleep. No more OF
flee work for me.
| went over to one of the trees and
Oft an apple and ate it. 1t tasted good
and | ate several more as | was rather
hungry. | admired the scenery, and
wondered if would be missed at my
clearinghouse on the mundane
sphere: and. as | owed the landlady &
weeks board, felt positive that she,
mt least, would cherish my memory
Then, again, thought of my old com
panions. and tried to imagine what
they would think if they saw me pick
ing apples off of an ethereal apple
tree. Then l thought | was Adam III
The Garden of Eden, hut then ! had nc
female companion.
On the pleasures Of being celestia
tramp My pen can never express
them. All was comfort and JOY, al
though | did banker after pork ans
beans and a little rye and rock. Earth
| thought, has a few good things, too
After | had enjoyed sweet rest