The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1881-10-07


Was Ewes first dress made of bear
skin?
U NATURALLY look p Qliar if u r O
ID and going 10 ID K.--BiH Nye
In SOME hats the cabbage leaf must
feel perfectly at home Quincy Modern
Arg0.
INQUIRE The most horrible suicide
on records is that of the man who took a
drink OF Chicago naturalization Post
Ny father Irish,
My mother was Irish,
And am IRISH stew.
Yonker's Sate1nGn.
Ir WAS probably an irish missionary
who, when about to be masticated by
the cannibals, originated that beautiful
song:
WHEN you lose needle on the floor,
the quickest way to find it is to take off
your shoes and walk about. But some
how people don't do that way.
GEsrIcULATIoN," says an eminent
actor, sis fast becoming lost art I" He
probably never saw Talmage fencing
with an imaginary lobster. - Herald
II. l.
AN ALBANY paper tells of woman in
q storm and said: 81 do wish you would
stop snoring, for want to hear it thun-
der
''CoNFoUND it /! you've shot the dog
/ thought you told me you could hold a
gun" Pat.-"Shure, and SO can, your
honor. It's the shot, sor, L couldn't
hould y
A BAD-rEMpERED MAN: He had lost his
knife and they asked him the usual
question "Do you know where you lost
it?" Eyes, yes" lie replied, "of course |
do. I'm merely hunting in these other
places for it TO Kill time"
Nor every man can tell from exper-
fence how it feels TO be struck by light
ming but he can get some idea Of it by
going suddenly around a corner and
meeting his mother-in-law while he is
walking with a pretty girl. - Boston
Post.
A KEoKUK man succeeded in huggine
his sweetheart 10 death. But he has nu
trouble in finding others. The girls
seem rather anxious to take their chances
on his hugging them to death. They
don't belive he can do it; would just like
to see him try it.
AN IRISH lady was so much on hel
guard against betraying her national ac-
cent that she is reported to have spoken
of the "cre0t1tre Of Vesuvius," fearing
that the crater would betray her again.
--Aibaay Journal She finds her paral-
lei in the Yankee who speaks of the pill
tolcs OF portico
WHEN corpulent citizen cn0eavors te
jump OF the dummy OF one of our cable
roads while on the down grade and falls
on the track in the front OF the wheels
nothing gives him so much genuine sat.
isfation rs, just when he is about TO be
crushed to pulp, to wake up and find
himself on the floor beside his own bed.
San Francisco Post.
How Fostering little things will hap
pen. A stranger in Middlesex County
village WAS looking for man nance
Ondeck, and when he went up to a fell
low and asked "Are you Ondeck?" the
fellow answered. II reckon 1 am, T" auC
the stranger tried to talk business to hin
and they got all mixed up IN q misunder
standing and had to be parted by the
bystanders before they got through. And
it was al on account OF that COMPOUNDED
name. -BostOn Post.
ENGLISH social life presents many
points of interests in its slang. We have
all probably read the aaecdote of G
young American lady in England (not q
fair Barbarian. either who, while play
ing crockett, exclaimed ut e surprisingly
fortunate shot of an opposing player
ooh what q horrid scratch where
upon Il young English lady remarked
Il. IL
slang p "Well, what should say?''
asked Miss America. "Oh! what q
beastly fuke !'--NetC Orleans Times.