The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1881-07-22
VARIETIES.

"A musician, George Sharp, has his name
on the door thus: &c. Sharp" A wag Of
a painter who knew something of music
early one morning made the following un.
deniabe and significant addition: us A
flat"
Not parlor match: $50 you married
old Heavipennys eldest, hear ?" said the
friend. "Yes," said young Inforit, 81 have
Good matchY" asked the friend. II guess
So" sighed the bridegroom, YEARLY; "heaps
of birthstone to it." And the years go by.
~ am skcptic," said an immature per.
son of the masculine gender, in vain.
| glorious strain. "An epiletic ?" aaked an
old lady somewhat hard of hearing. "Pool
boy You look like it, so you do" While
the smile went round, the youth went out.
"A country debating society has just de
cided that the quickest way for young man
to get his portrait in leading illustrated
paper is 10 join professional base ball club
Living a life of usefulness seldom accom-.
plishcs the same result.
-"Why, l thought you were dead" said
a gentleman to'a neighbor. well, you sec
the report was false" was the rejoindcr. 81
| don't know about that" continued the man
of obstinacy. "The person who told me
never yet deceived me, and can't say as
much for you"
| Olive Logan commenced one of her lee
| lures recently with the remark, "Whenever
see pretty girl want to clasp her in my
| arms" $50 do We" shouted the boys in the
| gallery. For moment Olive was nonpluss-
| ed but, recovering her selfpossession, she
replied, "Well, boys, don't blame you"
In the course ola street brawl the other
| day, one of the disputants was heard to reit-
| crate with considerable profanity that he
might be whipped, but he wouldn't be sub
jugated. 1t seems that he miscalculated a
| little on this point, as he was seen the next
day and going to picnic along with his
wife, and actually carrying the baby.
Love under Sirius: George, do yon
love me?" II did-you know how fondiy-
but" 90, George, how can YOU say but {?
What has changed your" "Well, Clara, l
have a prejudice, a--a-what under the sun
were you caressing that dog for?" 90,
George, how unjust to poor Fido He is only
friend. San Francisco Wasp.
Gone to the country: What are you
crying about, my lad ?" said the Good Sam
aritan to an urchin who was churning both
eyes with his dirty fist. Folks have all gone
to the country for the summer and left me
here alone" "Unfeeling parents. where
have they gone ?" MAS gone to the poor
house and pops gone to the penitentiary."-
Brooklyn Eagle.
"A man with handful of bills stopped
Frank Duffy the other day, and said emphat.
ically: Now, ask you for the last time to
pay this bill for those boots" us this the
last time, sure enough-no humbug about it p
Eyes, sir; this is the last time" Thank
you" said Duffy, with a sigh of relief, II was
afraid was never going to hear the last of
those boots" and strolled to get cigar.
Seaside item: "Tell me what it is, dar-
ling ?" he said, reassuringy, taking her hand
and drawing closer. Don't keep anything
from me-" "Oh, Eugenew she bushngly
replied. but there ought to be no secrets
between u.s." he expostulated. "Truc love
is very spirit of confidence" Its something
I've been going to ask you for a long time"
"Ihen let me know it now" he added ardent
ly, with tender pressure of her hand 81
will she said, summoning up courage :;
what is the best cure for corns ?"-B0st0n
Transcript
In recent dinner speech Mr.. William
Evarts, the great New York lawyer, to give
point to joke at the expense of somebody
else, told the following at the expense of him.
self: "a few summers since, Mr. Evarts, at
the urgent request of one of his younger
daughters, sent up to his country place in
Vermont donkey for her use. She had
read about donkeys, but was not familiar
with their peculiar vocalsm. The animals
strange noise inspired her with the pro 'ound-
est pity for his evident distress So she
wrote TO her father, "Dear papa, | do wish
you would come up here soon, my donkey is
so lonesomew