davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Canton advocate. [volume] (Canton, D.T. [S.D.]) 1877-1897, 1881-05-26

Postmaster General james is deterni-
ined to undo much of the evil done dur
ing the days when Mr.. Brady arranged
star-route contracts for the benefit Of
the contractors, and on pretence that
he was working in the interest Of the
public. Three of the Brady star-route
contracts were abrogated yesterday,
and the Nation was saved $55.0O0, which
would be wastefully and uselessly ex-
pended if Mr.. Brady had matters his
own way. Nobody will suffer by the
abrogation of his contracts but the con-
tractors, Mr.. James work is not done
yet. There are other contracts that
need investigation, and he proposes
that they shall be investigated,
The Canton advocate. [volume] (Canton, D.T. [S.D.]) 1877-1897, 1881-05-26
ROWING AGAINST THE TIDE.

easy to glide with the ripples
Adown the stream of time,
To flow with the course of the river,
Like music to some old rhyme;
But all it takes courage and patience
Against the current to ride;
And we must have our strength from heaven
When rowing against the tide.
We may float on the rivers surface
While our oars scarce touch the stream,
And visions of early glory
On our dazzling sight may CLEAN;
We forget that on before us
The dashing torrents roar,
And, while we are idly dreaming,
The waters will carry us ore.
But few-ah, would there were many
Row up the stream Of life;
They struggle against its surges,
And mind neither toll nor strife,
Though weary and faint with labor,
Singing, triumphant, they ride
For Christ is the hero's Captain
When rowing against the tide.
Far on through the hazy distance,
Like mist on distant shore,
They see the walls of city,
With its banners floating ore,
Seen through u 6 lass so darkly
They almost mistake their way;
faith throws light on their labor,
When darkness shuts out their day.
ndshall we be one of their number
Who mind no toll nor pain?
Shall we mourn the loss of earthly joys
When we have a crown to gain
Or shall we glide on with the river,
With death Mt the end of our ride,
While our brother, with heaven before him,
Is rowing against the tide!
The Canton advocate. [volume] (Canton, D.T. [S.D.]) 1877-1897, 1881-05-26

Gen Schofield telegraphs from New
Orleans to the Secretary of War that
Lieut.. Bulls, of the Twenty-fonrth In
fantry, commanding the Seminole
scouts, reports from his camp, about ten
miles south Of the mouth of the Pecos,
that on the End inst. at daybreak he
attacked an Indian camp, killed four
bucks and one squaw, captured one
boy, and wounded one squaw and twen-
ty-one horses Various articles found
in the camp went to show that the
Indians were the same who killed a
family named McLanrin in. Frio Canon
some time ago.
The Canton advocate. [volume] (Canton, D.T. [S.D.]) 1877-1897, 1881-05-26
Gen. Butler i'm the Court. Room

Notwithstanding Gen. Buffers por-
trait has been published far and near
during the past twenty years, particu-
larly within the past four years: there
were actually people in the courtroom
yesterday who did not know him. and
who asked: "Who is that little old gen
tleman speaking now" Gen. Butler
when not engaged in speaking, sits
back in his chair, apparently oblivious
to all that is being said or done on the
other side, and to all outward intent
and purposes is slumbering with all the
complacency of an owl. But let the
counsel on the other side for an instant
diverge from the right path and attempt
to introduce matter foreign to the sub
ject under discussion he is all attention
and instantly puts stumbling block in
the way of his opponents, bringing
them up with Il sharp turn that has the
effect Of ruff ng their peace of mind +;
thus far Gen. Buffers objections have
been so we'll taken that the court has
sustained them. When Gen. Butler
desires to read from any authority or
abstracts from any book or memoranda
he walks up to the clerks desk, raises
the volume to his nose, literally places
his eyes upon the printed line, runs
across it until the line is read, and then
elevates the book until the next sue.
ceeding line comes within the range of
vision. All this time he is reading out
loud, but his voice is so smothered and
driven back by the book that he is
scarcely audible 10 or Is feet away.
When OF doing he chews a cigar
which he bites off in inch pieces. As
he is reputed to smoke only first quaE.
ty cigars his chewing habit must be
quite an expensive one.
The Canton advocate. [volume] (Canton, D.T. [S.D.]) 1877-1897, 1881-05-26
"The Origin or The Name Artemus
Ward -

There has been not little specula-
ton as to how Brown came by his nom
de plume, "Artemus Ward" DR.. Shat
took says, that having some confidential
business with him during one of his
last visits to Waterford, he took occa.
sion to inquire in particular about it.
Brown said it was in this wise: While
engaged at the "Plain- Dealer" Office, in
Cleveland, Ohio, he made the acquaint.
ance Of an eccentric old gentleman
whose actual name was Artemus Ward
though assuming some more preten.
The Canton advocate. [volume] (Canton, D.T. [S.D.]) 1877-1897, 1881-05-26
L. G. PLATT,
THos. j.. JAMES,
Rpsror CoSKTISG

After this follows a lengthy explana.
ton of the acts of the two senators from
New York, the president, Postmaster
James, Vice President Arthur, ex-
President Hayes, in fact all parties
mixed up in the unpleasantness from
the so-called fight between President
Garfield and Senator Conkling.
The Canton advocate. [volume] (Canton, D.T. [S.D.]) 1877-1897, 1881-05-26

"My lord" said the foreman of an
Irish jury, when giving in the verdict
owe find the man who stole the mare
not guilty"
The Canton advocate. [volume] (Canton, D.T. [S.D.]) 1877-1897, 1881-05-26
Meyerbeer and the Poet.
Paris Letter to New Orleans Picayunc

faflS Letter TO New orleans PlcayunC.
One night while he was in Brussels a
duet came into his mind at a. m. He
leaped from bed rang the bell for a
servant, and asked for a poet. The
servant, not knowing what dish that
was, awoke the master of the house,
and, after satisfying himself that Meyer,
beer really wanted at that hour of the
night biped who turned out verses
gave him the address of a well-known
Belgian poet, ordered a cab, and sent
Meyerbeer to the dramatist's home.
Meyerbeer tugged the bell till he
brought the master, who answered the
alarm in the worst possible humor un-
til the visitor said: 'I am Meyerbecr
Are you a poet?'
eyes, when am in the vein, but at
these untimely hours, when only
churchyards yawn, the humor is not on
me-" "Humor is will; will is inspira,
ton, twill come. Sit at your desk and
write duet between lover and his
sweetheart; here is the idea" Meyer
beer gave his thoughts. 81 would
write what you want a great deal better
after thinking over it tonight. Give
me till tomorrow" "No, no, no; write
it at once; tomorrow l shall be in Ber-
liz" The poet wrote the duet. Meyer,
beer was pleased with it; he drew out
his pocketbook, took l, 0O0-franc bank
note from it, gave it to the poet, say,
ing: "Be good enough to accept this
rag for your authors royalty, with a
thousand thanks" 1t IS said this duet
was used in "L'Africaine."
The Canton advocate. [volume] (Canton, D.T. [S.D.]) 1877-1897, 1881-05-26

A Washington correspondent VS.
Blaine has always been careful of
his eatings and drinkings. He goes to
more dinners than anvone in Washing
ton, but he eats less and drinks less than
anyone. He confines himself to the
oysters, soup, fish, aud roast, always a
voiding the terrapin and the other rich
and injurious dishes. At dinner he
takes but single glass rarely two glass
esq of champagne, and he never took a
glass of whiskey or brandy in his life.
If you are talking about sick men, you
had better look at Conkling and Don
Cameron. Blaine will outlive both of
them, and don't you forgetit. Petulancy
is not the only thing that ails Don Cam
erOn.
The Newberry herald. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1865-1884, 1881-05-04

q tailor's kiss. But it is certain
that the lady didn't lcse much
time IN telling her husband about
it, and the husband lost no time in
horse-whipping the tailor for do
ing just what he had doubtless
himself done thousand times. In
this way the matter became the
property of the public, for the
tailor proceeded against the hus
band for assault. Such a course
is as strange as it is unusual, and
If allowed to go on unrebuked
must inevitably cut a tailor off
from many of the good things of
this world.-PhH. Times.
The Newberry herald. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1865-1884, 1881-05-04

A RoBBER MOVED TO MERCY
The worst Of us are human
sometimes-as the following in
cident goes to prove:
A burglar entered a house IN
which a mother was sitting up
with q sick child Sir she said
to him in a whisper, as soon as
she could compose herself TO
speak, there is nothing of value
in this house except that child's
life, at least to me, but you may
find otherwise. Here, take my
keys, search everywhere, take
what you want, but speedily and
without noise, implore you.
She handed him the keys, placed
her finger on her lip and pointed
to the door. The burglar moved
quietly away, then turned ane
said in a low voice, is he very
sick p His life hangs on the con
tinuance of this sleep Then hi
will recover for all the noise II
! make the robber answered, lay
ing down the keys and noiselessl.
; taking his departure, but abso
lutelv nothing else.
The Newberry herald. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1865-1884, 1881-05-04
A strange deed of mortgage vas

A strange deed Of mortgage vas
put on record in the registers Office at
Charlotte, N. G., last week. Accord
ing to the terms of this mortgage
Chas. Didenover, an intelligent Dot
impecunious man, conveys binsef
and all right and title TO himself 70
another, to have and to hold forever,
to secure a debt he owcssthe mort
cages, The deed vss duly witnessed.
signed and sealed. Didenover is .
married man, and, therefore, under the
laws of North Carolina, before man
can convey any real estate his vie
has to give her signature thereto, ae-
kuowledging before notary public OF
magistrate, although it is doubtful II
the object in this case has character
Of property. Didenover's wife WaiVes
all of her rights, titles end claims to
him in favor of the mortgage and
signed the deed Of conVeyanes and
acknowledged the same with all due
form before magistrate.
The Newberry herald. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1865-1884, 1881-05-04

A DRUMMER's FIRST Tara
Cleveland merchant determined to
send his son for trip on the road
in the interest of the house. The
young man was rather averse to
going, but bis fathers persuasions
were all-powerful and be went.
He was out some ten days, and ON
his return his father anxiously In.
quired, WELL my boy, did you
get many orders2' tYes, father,
answered the new-aedged drum
mer i got quite a number.
'Goodr exclaimed the delighted
father. 4 knew you would sue
ceed., The young man grinned
and answered: well, the first
order 1 got was in squashbog. I
went into a mans store there and
be said git out!' In Bungyiile |
got my second order. This time
it " as 'skip,!' My third order was
chase yourself round My next
order was scotland But the old
gentleman hastily arose and, kick
ing his hopeful's sample-case acress
the Office, sternly commanded the
young man 10 60 oct and heip
Jim load the truck.
The Newberry herald. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1865-1884, 1881-05-04
tions gone through with.

tlonS gone through "iOn'
Clare and Rene, Walter and
Pearle. were stroIling out on the
cool veraada, and as they were
passing one of the windows Walt
turned to the others with the re-
mark: Here is the place where
those mysterious words were ut
tered that came so near proving
your destiny, Clare
Yes, and l wish you to make
reformation in that direction or
I'lI-'
Never mind All's we'll that
ends we'll. Had Rene not over
heard that conversation she might
not now be Mrs. Danville.'
'True, women are perverse and
fckle. But the sudden transition
from despair. to. Joy so overcame
her that she proved an easy con-
quest. with merry smile as he
looked down into the face of tt Q
blushing bride leaning so lovingly
on his arm. And Rene and Pearle
were very happy, and Walter and
Clare were-well, never mind ! 1t
was a very delightful sequel to
Rene's mistake.
The Newberry herald. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1865-1884, 1881-05-04
A CHEERFUL WIFE.

Better than gold to a man is
a cheerful wife. But he mnst dc
his part toward making her cheer
full. 1t is easy enough for a man
to marry a happy woman. But
the bride expectant, when soc
tboughs how happy she would be,
never contemplated the picture
of a husband coming home cross
as a bear land going to bed with
out speaking to her; she had never
thought of the long evenings wheo
be wouldn't come. at all, or his
bringing some one home to dinner
without warning or preparation ;
of his awful profanity over so
trihing a matter as the gas bill.
She had no idea, in fact, that
there could be anything but hap
piness in married life, and she had
determined to te happy and to
distribute her happiness to those
about her. 1t is not often her
fault if she doesn't succeed. Men,
as a rule, do not exert themselves
to secure their wives happiness.
They know that it requires con-
slant and great effort to possess
property and be secure in its value
in the midst Of constant CONNER
cial changes. The cheerfnlness,
the happy, hopeful character
which every woman displays at
the beginning Of marriage is not
so easily lost as a fortune lit re-
quires but a small share of the at
tention, and yet she often does not
get that little share. Therefore a
word to the girls in this connec.
ton is in order; beware of a man
who doesn't know enough about
cheerfuiness to undertand it's value
in daily life. Such a man would
improve the first opportunity to
grind the cheerfulness out of his
home, to frighten a sunbeam into
a shadow, and then wonder what
is the matter. Such is no better
than no husband at all and when
you want husband 60 find some
body else-somebody who will
give you at least some chance tc
be happy far into the life beyond
the honeymoon. rs
The Newberry herald. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1865-1884, 1881-05-04
SOME MEMS WIVES.

Three men Of wealth meeting not
long since in New York, the con-
versation turned upon their wives.
Instead of finding fault with wo"
men in general, and their wives in
particular, each one obeyed the
wise mans advice, and gave hon.
or unto bis wife.
Il tell you what it is said one
Of the men, they may say what
they please about the uselessness
of modern women, but my wife
has done her share in securing our
success in life.
Everybody knows that her fam
lily was aristocratic and exclusive,
and all that, and when | married
her she had never done days
work in her life; but when W. &
Co. failed, and had to commence
at the foot of the hill again, she
discharged the servants and chose
out neat little cottage, and did
her own housekeeping uatil | was
better off again.
And my wife, said a second,
was an only daughter, caressed
and petted to death land every
body said, We'll if be will marry a
doll like that, he'll make the
greatest mistake of his life; but
when | came home tho first. year
of our marriage, sick with the fever,
| she nursed me back to health, and l
never knew her to murmur be-
cause 1 thought we couldn't afford
any better style or more luxuries.
We'll, gentlemen,' chimed in a
third, 4 married smart, healthy,
pretty girl, but she was a regular
blue-stockipg. She adcred Ten
nyson, dotted on Byron, read En-
erson, and named tho first baby
Ralph Waldo and the second
Maud; but l tell you what tits,
and the speakers eyes grew sus'
piciously moist, when we laid lit
lie Maud in her last bed at Au
burn my poor wife had no remem
brauces of neglect or stintee
motherly care, and the little
dresses that still lie in the locked
drawer were all made by her OWL
hands,
The Newberry herald. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1865-1884, 1881-05-04
VALUABLE RECIPES.

Puffs.-Take one box cigars,
Colorado elaro, Havana filters.
Mix these judiciously with news
paper reporter and wait patiently
until the next number of the pa
per appears.
Suet Pudding.-This may be
easily prepared by newspaper men.
All that is necessary for the paper
to do is to libel some person, and
he will quickly suet. The pud-
ding, while making, should be
stirred energeticaily.
Waite Cake.-When some chum
comes up, slaps you on the shoul-
der and says, BY Jove, old boyl>
you take the cakeE and then
wants to borrow a few dollars,
lend them to him. Then you'll
have enough wait. This makes
wait cake. ..~-
To Prevent Lamp. Chimneys
from Breaking-This is easily
done by burning candles.
To Make Coal Last.-Burn
coke. -
: Printers Pi.-This delicacy ls
made by mixing twenty-five bot
ties beer (quarts) with a sleepy
compositor, and then turning him.
loose in composing-room where.
the type is standing on galleys.
Soft Soap.-The principal in.
gredient is tafy; mix this with
people whose distinguishing char
acteristics are conceit and ego.
tism. Specimens Of this popular
soap may be found in almost any
newspaper.
To Raise Green Peas.-Turn
your hens in the garden.-Der75ck
The Newberry herald. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1865-1884, 1881-05-04
Original 6 Storp.
WRITTEN FOR THE NEwsERRY. HERALD:l
ON THE PORCH.
BY CLYDE WAYNE. =

A little, biack-robed, figure
glided softly down the Stairway;
past the brightly lighted drawing
room door and out on the flower
deeked porch.
After glancing quickly about
she approached one of the low
windows and peered through the
half closed blinds at the merry,
chattering groups of guests that
were assembled therein.
To night she was to meet Clare
DanviIle, and her heart was fut-
terlng foolishly as she stood half
expectantly looking for him among
the gay groups. Six months be-
fore she had bade him goodbye
at the little parsonage gate at
Hilton, where be had been spend
ing few weeks holiday from the
hum and dust of city business.
How swiftly the time had glided
away while he remained with
them; and when be had gone
how dull and lonely the place
had seemed to her.
Only three weeks after be left
the earth closed above the dear
mother and Rene left the village
home for one with an only uncle.
Ned Orland was o man of sterl-
ing heart, and tbe-orphan niece
found a kind and heartfelt well
come to Pine Lands
A widower, and with one only
child, Uncle Ned's kind heart had
at once adopted the child of the
sister he had loved.
In her first sad grief Pearle had
comforted the orphan and strong
tie bound the two cousins before
Rene had been many days an in
mate of her uncle's home.
Tonight was Pearle's eigh'
teenth birthday, and many friends
had come to celebrate the event,
and Clare Dauville was among
that number.
Rene wondered why Pearle had
never told her of the acquaintance
between them till within the last
few days; and why she had
blushed so hotly when she had,
that morning, said:
Rene, Clare Daoville and bis
cousin are coming tonight. Now
don't be gloomy, dear. They are
just splendid fellows
And how her heart had leaped
at the thought Of seeing him.
She gave one last glance through
the window, and was about te
re-enter the house when the firm
tread and mingled voices of two
gentlemen arrested her attention
They were coming down the
gravel walk, and she stole back
into the shadows till they shoule
pass on.
by George! Danville, you are
a lucky fellow. Such a pretty
The Newberry herald. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1865-1884, 1881-05-04

Are yon fond of flowers z she
inquired. Very much So be re
piled. What are your farorlte
flowers she further Inquired.
Tulips he answered, as his eyes
dwslt admir,ngly upon thetWaa
cherries that were parted in 9
ravisbing smile, displaying teeth.
like ivory dipped in milk asJoe.
Bradford says. There was 8
pause. A warm blush sufased
her velvet cheek; the lily lids
dropped, half fconcealing the starry
eyes, and she murmured: 1f you
were to ask me which is my fav-
ori:e ship, should say a smack :
Let us draw the curtain.
CSumeroilIe Journal.
The Newberry herald. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1865-1884, 1881-05-04
BACK TO BACK.

A rowdy cannot endure the
sight of a wcll.dresscd man. 1t
acts upon him as red shawl up
on a bull. Some years ago, as
two young gentlemen were going
home from party in Philadel-
phia, they were attacked by a
gang Of rowdies. The youths
were brothers, and noted for their
skill in boxing. Standing back to
back, they Knocked down their
assailants as fast as they came at
them. In a few minutes the row
dies fed. Similar tactics once
saved two English anglers from
being bitten by a pack Of fierce
dogs. AS they were passing q
farmhouse, a large dog: whose
barking and gIaring eyes an
nounced his rage, dashed at them.
Catch up some stones and stand
back to back, or he he'll worry
US, cried the elder.
Armed with as many stones as
they could pick up, they put
themselves in position and waited
the charge. But the dog did not
attack. He evidently thought the
position too formidable for him 10
carry by assault. After circling
aound the men two or three times,
he returned to the farmhouse.
The anglers, congratulating
themselves on the success Of their
tactics pressed onward. They
had just passed over the brow Of
a hill when a chorus Of 'Yelp,
yelp, yelpp announced another
and more dangerous attack.
we are hunted,' shouted one to
the other; more stones, and stand
firm, or we are dead men,
Filling their pockets and hands
with stones, the two men again
stood back to back, and waited
anxiously the attack. On came
the large dog. with four other
dogs, all open,mouthed and bark
ing furiously.
They, too, had their tactics,
They began by circling round the
anglers, and gradually drew nearer
and nearer.
A well.aimed stone struck the
leader of the pack on the head
and rolled him over. Another
stone hit a second dog on the
side and sent him out Of the circle
bowling with pain.
Then the pack halted, rctreatec
some distance, and again began te
circle round the men. Sullenly
they went round and round, until
seeing no chance for an assault
they went slowly off over 1ht
hill.
The anglers went their way
speculating as to the method BY
which the large dog persuaded hi
four companions to join him il
assaulting his enemies.