National Republican., 1881-10-22
EVOLUTION OF POKER.
n JAoK-FuLL AND FOUR DEuoEs.
The Comparative Value OF the Seductive Cards-A
Highly Interesting Scientific 1nquiry-HOw
the Game Should be Played scieB-
tlfically-Interesting Sketch.

uneally-Interesting Sketch,
Ever since General Schenck's admira-
BE treatise brought 1t prominently into notice
navnns have been cndeavoring 10 prove that draw.
poker Is Justly entitled to consideration MS one OF
the exact Sciences beautifully governed by strict
est mathematical law. instead Of being merely one
Of the eccentric and ruleless recroations incident
to American leisure. Their efforts, however seem
10 be attended by many complex difficulties.
Having been appointed committee to invesli.
gate some interesting experiments explained In
recent paper by Professor Dana on the " Correla-
ton OF Blind and siraddle." Professors Huxley
Darwin and Tyndall pursued their researches
from half-past seven p. m. one Saturday until
quarter past eleven a. m. Sunday. and Professor
Huxley. the chairman, reported as follows; "Your
committee, after arduous labor aud great expense,
find that while the Dana theory OF Elevation Of
straddcs' contained in his paper, is correct In
the premise, II Is sometimes dsastrousy fallacous
In the conclusion. One Of the experiments tried
by your committee proved this, MS follows;
1.-THE SENIOR HAND
I0verned by myself, consisted before the draw OF
ne stratum Of eusangulned Jacks, one stratum Of
able Queens, and ono accidental but worthless
hamond-almost as valuable formation as that
nstanced by Professor Dana. The sub-senor
land, engineered by Professor Tyndal, was nearly
homogeneous with small spades, the beautifulc con
inuity being only bobtailed at one end by healthy
but incnicacious heart. The junior hand, under
he management of Professor Darwin, consisted
before the draw as he states of one thin stratum OF
aeucos with three substrata OF detrltus-an eight,
four, and six Of assorted suits Professors Tyn.
dali and Darwin having duly entered, gener-
susy uplfted the revenue to the extent Of the
limit, which in our case was sl0. To this Pro-
fessor Tyndall readily acceded.
PROFESSOR DARWIN DEMURRED
for several minutes, arranged and rearranged his
strata in an uncertain and. as we thought ner.
vous manner, but finally concluded his medta-
tion. and contributed quite handsome fossil coll
lection toward the general centre. To me he then
dealt one substratum, TO Professor Tndall one.
and to himself three. Applying myself to the
taxldermists art, soon discovered that my form
alton Of Jacks had been wonderfully enriched the
triple strata Of which even now, resting upon my
stratum OF queens, quite filled my hand. Pro-
fessor Tyndall them nfler examining his newly
acquired stratum with evidences Of suppressed
emotion, advanced one fossil, to the value Of GO,
Professor Darwin took panoramic view OF HIS
strata, and neatly covered that, and 10 my great
delight,
ADDED SIMILAR FOSSIL
to tho value of ten shillings. promptly covered
both deposits and then proceeded to hoist Profess
sor Darwin TO the extent Of fl0. Still further to
my delight, Professor Tyndall elevated me in like
ihtlO. icuItu tlut iuW EIOicSSOE bui-
win would retire. So did Professor Tyndall, who
half regretted having put on so aggressive front to
his usually timid friend. But to our immense salts
faction Professor Darwin, after again reviewing
his strata to see II they were all there not only
nimbly ascended Professor Tyndall's elevation,
but capped II, as before, with ten shilllngs. Re-
jocing secretly in the wisdom OF the Dana theory
but with an artful stimulation OF hesitation, de-
signed TO encourage my fellow investigators,
apafn n1imhod bnt tNraoinitntta haa In ho
extent of flo Then began contest which now
now comes to me like blurred and hideous dream
Professor Tyndall leaped over me, Professor Dar
win hoped over him, and
TURNED soMERsAUJTs
over Professor Darwin, until not only was my en-
tire fossil collection my pocket portfolio Of
engraved portraits of government celeb
rifles and cheques for half the sum of my
. accumulations In the East India Bank heaped on
the pile. with Professor Tyndall's watch and eye
glasses and fine polariscope and collar buttons,
together with his seal ring, mortgage on his
house, an order for seven months. advance salary
as secretary Of your honorable body, and transfer
order for two-thirds Of his registered consos but
also drafts from Professor Darwin upon his pub.
Usher for the entire gross receipts of edition
Of the Descent of Man and corrected revision
Of the Origin of Species, with a clear deed of tho
copyright Of a book now In preparation. i now
naturally began to fear lest my zeal should blight
the future of my two friends.
ESPECIALLY THAT OF PROFESSOR DARWIN,
whose acquaintance with Che sciepce under dis
cusson was but limited at best, aud who felt
quite certain, merely persevered through geu-
tlemanly spirit OF accommodation. But as Pro-
essor Tyndall continued his muscular exercise In
boosting my ventures and rs Professor Darwin
would each time mildly encourage him with ten
shilling prod, still continued. Finally, when
my overcoat and Professor Tyndall's rubber
gooshes aud Professor Darwln's telescope hat had
ieen added to the heapon the extra table brought
In 10 hold the increasing pile, the hands were
called all round, Professor Darwin apologetically
saying that he called simply because he had moth
ing more to bet but his sleeve buttons, which were
birthday present from his wife. Upon the call,
looked at Professor Tyndall. Professor Tyndall
looked ut Professor Darwin, and Professor Darwin
looked at both Of us, Professor Tyndali said that
he had not foreseen this that
HE HAD BEEN BOUNCED HIGHER
than when he was on top of the Matterhorn, and
had forgot himself in his excitement that he was
kosorry he couldn't think but he had an nee flush
He then started TO gather in and count up the pot.
checked him, and with tears In my eyes con-
fessed that had been very, very wrong, but that
had really supposed Professor Tyndals strata were
more nearly like my own; that felt keenly for
Professor Darwin, who had been dragged inno-
Gently into the destructive contest that would
and polka-dot handkerchief and telescope hat,
and to Professor Tyndall his eye glasses and 60
loshcs and one collar button. and beg both not to
mention IL; that had been surprised at the tre-
mendous developmental effect of the draw
- UPON THE GERMIsAL PRoToPLAsm
OF my hand and had been unnecessarily de-
. luded into raising; and that was almost ashamed
to say it, they were friends but that had three
Jacks and pair of queens. / then burst into
tears and began to rake IN the small change. In
this / was assisted by Professor Darwin, who GER
; tainly displayed the utmost stolcsm throughout
At length, when the huge pile was sorted and the
value roughly estimated, j thought to console him
and asked him what he had. Tho horror of both
Professor Tyndall and myself can only be imag-
ined by your learned body when we saw Professor
Darwin deliberately first pocket the bank notes,
and then the rolls of gulneas, and then put Pro-
fessor Tyndall's watch In his fob and try on Pro-
fessor Tyndalps gooshes, and adjust Professor
Tyndalls eye-g glasses his nose and test them by
running over my hand again, aud put ON my over
coat and
STUFF THE PooKETs THEREOF
with the mortgages and deeds and cheques, &c
which had accumulated, and then pass in the fos
sils 10 mo to be cashed; and finally with a deli
cate smile Of coincidence, skin out four deuces and
a king. Your committee beg 70 state that the Dana
theory is pernieious and fraudulent In the ex-
= treme. In conclusion would respectfully beg "a
withdraw my offer 10 make, at my own expense q
scientific investigation Of the theory Of Professor
McCosh, ofPrineeton, that straights are absolute
in Jack-pots' Professor Tyndall also desires me
to say that his failing health viii prevent his
equipping and accompanying the proposed party
to explore the glaciers of the Jungfrau, and says
they must equip themselves or stay at home"
ACCOMPANYING THE ABOVE
was minority report, az follows
"The Dana theory, in my opinion, is the most
striking instance Of transmitted simian instinct
have yet seen. Although apt to mislead at first
sight It's finer and moro deeply seated reasonings