The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1881-02-19
ISlaxing Ears.

thanksgiving evening party OF mcn
assembled at "Tommy" Gents bar.room.
ol City, and after comparing nots and tell
Ing some big stories about the amount of
turkey consumed, the conversation gradual
ly drifted to the comparative size of the
chests OF the parties present. Finally some
one proposed that they measure chosts. A
tnpo Inc was accordingly produced and
| tic measuring commenced. Each party
swelled his chest to its greatest capacity,
aud the measuring continued with an abun.
dance of mirth and good humor. Al last
Gent took the line, passed it around the
chest Of NJ. Quinn, and was apparently
greatly pleased with tho result. To cX-
press his satisfaction he placed his hand on
either side Of Qulnn's head, and commenced
rubbing his cars. lie had drawn his hands
across the ears only twice when he was
frightened nearly out Of his wits by seeing
bright flame shoot quickly upward
reaching nearly to the ceiling. The friction
caused by rubbing the cars seemed to have
caused the sparks which ignltcd the hair,
ana the blaze sprang up almost instantly.
10 say that Gent was Mortified is putting 1t
mild. tie thought he had been the invol.
untary tool used TO bring about Quinn's
destruction by fire. The reader can ina
glne what his feelings would be were he 10
SIMPLY place his hands OH friends eur
ana instantly he should find the friends
mead IN flames. Gent sprang back, threw
up his hands and cjaculatcd
'"My God what is it2"
And still the flames rolled on.
Gents face turned pale, and the other
gentlemen in the party made room for tho
human hambeau. who, as he hastily paced
the room, reminded one forcibly of the Cir
cas- sian beauty with the red porcupinc hair,
only lle had fire instead of hair. Some of
the inmates of the room yelled "Fire, fire."
ana others OF moro religious turn of mind
commenced praying. Gents knees were
beating the DEVILS TATTOO on each other as
he nervously clung to tho counter. Lie
subsequently said he tho lght the master
mechanic from uades had surely come To
SEQ him.
FINALLY, aftcr some lively work, the man
whose head was being crenlated succeeded
Ill exlinguishing the contlagration without
calling out the Fire Department. AS soon
as he had the fire under control his com.
panions regained their senses and gradually
approached him.
sure and didn't know that il was
loaded" said Gent.
do you have such spells oftcn7" asked
another.
81 knew that you were gassing fearful
ly, chimcd i'll third, '.but didn't think
tAat you would 10 off in that way"
And 80 lhcy continued, while the man
who was indulglng in the torchlght pro-
cession proceeded to explain.
IL seems that Quinn ls baker of bread.
and while at WORK frequently has occasion
to look in tho ovens, which are dark.
When doing so he merely strikes match.
In order to have the matches handy, he
acquired habit of carrying a handful of
matches hack of hia ears .' : ....,
Using cars fora match safe is new idea,
and should be patented.
However, the matches being stored
away in the suburbs of Quinn's ears, they
were ignitcd by coming IN contact win
GcnL's hands, Which were made rough by
honest toll. The hair was oily, and what
followed was nothing more nor less than
all oil fire.