davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1881-07-15
Arabic Hnmor.

Many Of the most amusing stories in
Arabic literature turn upon verbal
bubbles which are of course, in most
cases, untransatable. Sometimes, how
ever, the jest goes equally we'll in
foreign languages; as, for instance.
when a man with harsh voice was
reading the koran aloud at mosque
door, and passer-by asked what he
was reading for. II am reading for
Gods sake" said the fellow. Then
for Gods sake hold your tongue" was
the reply. A story is told of FL Mehdi,
that being out hunting one day he
came upon the hut OF an Arab, who
sci some simple fare before him, but
supplemented it with bottle OF wine.
The Caliph drank glass and said:
.'Oh. brother of the Arabs! do You
know who | amp mo, by Allahw
was the reply. IL am one of the prin-
cipal attendants of the Commander of
the Faithful" 81 congratulate you ON
your post" said jhe officer Tossing
off another glass. III Mehd repeated the
question, and the Arab reminded him
that he had jus, told him he was one of
the Caliph's suit. may" said III
Mehdi, "Dut | am one of his principal
officers" 81 wish yon joy" said the
Arab. After third glass the Caliph
again began; "Oh, brother of the
Arabs. do you know who amp "You
say you are Que of the Commander of
the Faithful's chief officers answered
the Arab. "No, sir" said Ell Mehdi.
~ am the Commander of the Faithful
himselfm The Arab, on hearing this,
quietly took the bottle Of wine from
the table and put it away with the sem
tentious remark: IF you were to
drink another glass, you would declare
that you We're the prophet himsef!'-
Temple Bar.
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1881-07-15
A Remedy of Many Uses.

Hostetters Stomach Bitters, while it Is
not catholicon, achieves host Of good
effects, and is useful in a variety of cases.
BY invigoratng the organs of digestion 1t
overcomes dyspepsia and its many and
complex symptoms, imparts vitality to tNe
physique, promotes appetite and sleep, ann
ovcrcomes the dependency which is a
mental, sympathetic accompaniment OF
dyspepsia 1t is an admirable remedy for
disorder of the liver, rousing that organ
when dormant, and promoting the secretion
and flow of healthy bile into the proper
channel. 1t relaxes without weakening or
convulsing the bowels, and checks their IT.
regularity. 1t arrests growing tendency
to rheumatism, depurating the blood, and
increasing the activity of the kidneys, and
il is the best remedy in existence for chils
and fever, and bilious remttent, as well as
a tried preventive of those malades.
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1881-07-15
A Talented Lady's Views.

Mrs. c. +. Fleming, State Lecturer Of
Missouri, and also an artist of rare merit,
whose picture Of Adelaide Nelson Is pro.
nounced, by the press to be the most beau.
niul portrait in the United States in re.
cent letter said; 81 have been troubled
WIN kidney disease since my childhood,
ana II hnally eliminated IN chronic ca,arrh
" the bladder. 1t would be impossible
ior me to describe how much have suf
'creo, and had abandoned all hone Of
evcr pe,ng cured. ! was, however, recon.
, 1.ea 70 try Warmers Safe Kidney ana
LAYER Cure, and ii has done me more good
'nan the combined skill Of all the p6ysl.
clans ! nave ever tried during my entire
life" Such testimony ia beyond question
and proves the value to all ladies az tho
remedy il advocates.
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1881-07-15
A Highly Recommended Youth.

His name was John. He came 10 us
an Office boy. "a little rough" said
the friend who recommended him, "but
industrious and willing" John was
squint-eyed, had a deyil-may-carc.
b'hoy sort Of an air about him, and had
evidently, for a sixteen-year old. quite
an extensive experience. John was cx-
pected to stay in the office, run er-
rands, attend TO visitors, etc. Left
alone in the Office during the forenoon
of his second day. when the editor re-
turned john informed him that "a
couple Of ROSTERS was in, and talked
AS if they was up to some racket or
other; one Of 'em looked a little fly,
and the other seemed to have plenty of
slug with him. He left his paste
board. There it is, said John, tossing
out the gentleman card.
did the gentleman say he would
call again, Johu'"
.Ile never squealed once" said
John.
"John," said Tie editor, II think
you ought to be in place where you
can be advanced faster than you can
here; we appreciate YOU and are sorry
to let you 60, but
You can't cry, that's what you was
going to say. All right; ding me my
Two days funny and I'll git said
John, and we paid him of and let him
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1881-07-15
THE DAILY BULLETIN.
Defeated BY a Hair.

Hannibal Hamlin failed Of an elec-
tion the first time he was candidate
for United States Senator, in conse-
quence Of practical JOKE he once
PLAYED. Some years before he was a
candidate he was Speaker OF the Maine
Assembly. In that day there was
gentleman Of great fsstidiousness as to
dress and personal appearance, His
hair was growing thin on top, but ne
labored to conceal this by carefully
p,astering It down with bandolines and
cosmetics. One day Speaker Hamlin
called him TO the desk and said, in
what he intended to be n very funny
way:
iBank, old fellow. | just wanted to
tell You you've got one OF your hairs
crossed above the other OH top
The man looked dazed for an instant,
and then saying:
"You insult me, sir! you insult met
retired in high dudgeon. When Ham
lin was candidate for Senator this
man was a member of the State Senate.
Hamlin's friends numbered twelve, and
those opposed to him thirteen, contain
inc this man. who, though he belonged
to the same party US Hamlin, steadily
refused to vote for him, and the other
man WAS elected
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1881-07-15
Piles! Piles!! Piies!!!
A suRE CURE FOUND AT LAST. NO ONE NEED
SUFRER


sURE CURE FOUND AT LAST. No ONE NEED
sUFRER.
A sure cure for the Blind, Bleeding,
Itching and liberated Piles has been dis.
covered by DR.. Williams IAN Indian rem
edy), called DIR. Williams Indian Oiut.
ment. A single box has cured the worst
chronic cases Of rs and 30 years standing
No one need suffer five minutes after apply
ing this wonderful soothing medicine.
Lotions, Instruments and Electuanes do
more harm than good. Williams Oint-
ment absorbs the tumors, allays the intense
itching particularly at night after getting
warm in bed), acts as poultice; gives
instant and painless relief, and is prepared
only for Piles, itching of the private parts
and nothing else.
Read what the Hon J. NJ. Cofinberry, OF
Cleveland, says about DR.. Williams Indian
Pile Ointment: 81 have used scores OF
pile cures, and it affords me pleasure to say
that have never found anything which
gave such immediate and permanent relief
as DR.. Williams Indian Pile Ointment
For sale BY all druggists, or mailed on
receipt of price 800.
FRANK s. HFNRY e. Co.,
Sole Props, Cleveland, O.
For sale by GEO. z. O'HARA, Druggis.
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1881-07-15
The Latest Craze.

Have you any dandelions?" asked a
pretty young lady at the door OF Sixth
avenue florist recently.
"No; you can get some over at the
park" he said, pointing over to Rese2-
voir square.
But the policeman there won't let
me pick them; I've asked him, IAN.
swered the lady ruefully as she started
back again to the park.
The florist turned to the reporter who
was standing near by him in bower.
ut was sad enough, v he said. "when
daisies were the go, but dandelions are
too common---we draw the line at dan
de!ons.'
What do the ladies do with the dam
delions?"
Wear them at the throat or at the
belt. just now the rage is for anything
yellow. We have calls every day for
dandelions. -Nev York SIN.
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1881-07-15

When the Amerl9ne, with Mile. Born
hardt aboard, was near the port OF
Havre, large tug-boat was seen com
ing out with q score or more OF persons
on deck. Among them was Bernhardts
son. Maurice, who is described AS an
agreeable young fellow, Of about 10
years of age. Of pleasant appearance,
and dressed in exceedingly good taste.
His mother was expecting to see him,
and eagerly surveyed the approaching
tug TO catch glimpse OF him from
among the throng. When her eyes
fell upon him her actions are said TO
have been indescribable. "She trem-
bled,n writes an eyewitness, turned
paler than ever, cried, waved her arms,
ran from one part of the vessel TO an
other, shouted out his name time and
again, and would, in all probability,
have sprung into the sea, had not the
ever-failhful Claude been by to prevent
her. Finally the two boats were lashed
together, and the son was soon enfold-
ell in his mothers arms. TWAS a touch
ing sight. No acting now.
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1881-07-15
Insanity From Kissing.


The kissing games in the country,
sometimes bring about strange results,
Mrs, Thomas Armour, Of Schuylkill
county, Pennsylvania, is insane from
being mere looker-on at one of these
games. Four years ago she attended q
picnic in company with her husband,
who took part in "kssing game"
Mrs. Armour watched the players for
some time with pleasant interest. until
she saw her husband kiss another
woman. From that moment she
showed signs Of insanity. and has
grown worse constantly. She has an
intense hatred for her husband, and
every other woman, whom she thinks
will injure her. 1t was quite different
with Brooklyn woman who attended
picnic and saw her husband kiss an.
other woman. She at once hit him
over the head with the cover of an ice
cream freezer. He is now perfectly
sane.
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1881-07-15
EVAPORATING FRUIT.

SENT | Treatise on Improved Methods Tables
I,Drr yields, price, profits \ general statistics
rhEE ! AMERICAN DRiER co, Chambers
burg Pa
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1881-07-15
Hanntel Me.

A workingman says; debt, poverty
and suffering haunted me for years, caused
by sick family and large bills for doctor
ing, which did no good. ! was completely
discouraged, until one year ago, by the al
vice of my pastor, procured Hop Bittcrs
and commenced their use and in one
month We were all well, and none of us
have been sick day since; and want to
say to all poor men, you can keep your
families well year with Hop Bitters for
less than one doctors visit will COST
Christian Advocate
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1881-07-15
An Unrivalled Hair Dressing.

PRODUCING AS RICH AND CLRANLY APPEAR
ANCE AS If NATURE ALONE HAD IMPARTED
1T.
BuRYETTs COCAINE is the best and
cheapest Hair Dressing-kills dandruff, al
lays irritation, and promotes vigorous and
healthy growth of the hair. No other COM
pound produces these results.
The superiority of BURNErr's FLAVOR
ING EXTRACTS consists in their perfect purity
and great strength. They are warranted
free from the poisonous oils and acids
which enter into the composition of many
of the facititious fruit favors now in the
market
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1881-07-15
I'm all Played Out"

Is common complaint. II YOU feel an
get a package of Kidney Wort and take il
and you will at once feel its tonic mower
II rcnews the healthy action Of the k;d.
neys, bowels and liver, and thus restores
the natural life and strength to the weary
body. II can now be had in either dry o.
liquid form, and 10 either way is Away,
prompt and efficient in action. New Bed
ford Standard.
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1881-07-15
Unrivaletl

AS being certain cure for the worst forms
OF dyspepsia, indigestion, constipation, i'm
purity of blood, torpid liver, disordered
kindeys, etc, and as medicine for eradi-
eating every species Of humor, from an or
lI,nary pimple to the worst ulcer, Burdock
h.ood bitters stand unrivaled. Price Sl.00,
trial size 10 cents.
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1881-07-15
The Elixir OF Life.

That purely vegetable compound, Bur.
DOCK BlooD BITrERs, may be justly termed
the Elixir Of Life. A pleasant and eject
I've medicine; It imparts strength and VI.
fatty TO the whoie system. Price 81 90,
trial size, 10 cents.
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1881-07-15
Have You ever KNOWN

ANY person TO be seriously IN without a weak
stomach or inactive liver or kiducysg Ana when
these rEans are IL good condition do You not find
their pOssessor enjoying good health! Parlers
Ginger Tonic always regulates these important or
ganr and never falls 80 make the blood rich aud
pnFe, and Ia strengthen every part of tile system
Ii has cured Hundreds Of dcspairing inyalids. AK
your druggist abOui IL.
The Pioche weekly record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1877-1900, 1881-11-26
FRIDAYS QUOTATIONS.

By W. U. TELEaRApH Co.
565 Ophir-5% tx 5sa
$50 Mexican-771s
900 Gould a. Curry-5ss So
365 Best h Belcher-8h
100 California--50c Csc
500 Savage-2.85
1910 Con virginia--1%
ITO Chollar-1.45
2l5 Potosi -1.45
2A5 Hale q Norcross-2.60 2.G5
21O Grown Point-1.15
1876 Yellow Jackets 303h
$50 Alpha-2.70 40
600 Belcher-2.10
10 Confdence-2k $50
715 Sierra Nevada-9ss OK 9M
$40 Utah-7 6M
$40 Bullion 1.15
220 Exchequer-1.05 Ito
400 OvermAn-19 90 ISIS
270 Union-.9k 9H
$50 Alta-A.16
The Pioche weekly record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1877-1900, 1881-11-26

The opponents Of the crinolette have
taken advantage Of the cutlery against
this insiduous pioneer of the crinoline to
bring forward the divided skirt" as
candidate for popular feminine favor.
The crinolette could not possibly be worn
with the divided skirt, any more than
man could wear such contrivance under
his trousers. Viscountess Harberton is
the inventor of this skirt, her idea being
to consult the convenience of women in
their attire. As she says herself, the
best means of doing this is to make dress
subservient to the laws of physiology.
Women have two legs, but by tying both
together in the senseless fashion of the
day they practically reduce the number
to one. They leave themselves two feet
to shuttle about with, but to do their
best to disable these with high heels,
pointed toes, and that dreadful invention,
patent leather. 1t is quite certain that a
revolution in dress of some kind is fast
approaching, but it appears to be an equal
chance between the crinoline and
trousers.
The Pioche weekly record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1877-1900, 1881-11-26

Last night, just after the circus per-
Torrance, while the elephants were be-
ing driven through the streets, just as
they reached the corner of Hill and
Broadway, some thoughtless person gave
one of the animals piece of tobacco
The elephant had no sooner noticed what
the tobacco was than he instantly be-
came Infatuated, and made rush for his
teaser, right through a crowd of 400 or
500 people, breaking away from his
keeper. Everybody scattered, of course,
and the scene presented frightful STAN
pede. Nc. one was hurt.
The Pioche weekly record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1877-1900, 1881-11-26

An old fellow whose daughter had
failed to secure position as teacher, in
consequence of not passing an examina-
ton, said: They asked her lots of things
she didn't know. Look at the history
questions! They asked her about things
that happened before she was born.
Why, they asked her about old George
Washington and other men she never
knew? That was a pretty sort of ex-
amination!"
The Pioche weekly record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1877-1900, 1881-11-26

There are three styles: Some girls are
born fat, some achieve fairness, and some
fix themselves up fat with old newspapers
and things.--[New Orleans Times.
The Pioche weekly record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1877-1900, 1881-11-26

1t takes just three people to keep a
secret properly, but two of the three must
be dead.
The Pioche weekly record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1877-1900, 1881-11-26

Jersey cashier. 81 am guilty, and
willing to 60 to the Penitentiary." The
depositors can 20 to the poorhouse.
The Pioche weekly record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1877-1900, 1881-11-26

SIS patriotism dying out?" asks the
Inter- Ocean. No sir; not much it isn't.
In places where there are no saloons it is
sold in the drug store. Il Philadelphia
Chronicle Herald.
The Pioche weekly record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1877-1900, 1881-11-26

Who shall decide when doctors dis
agree: Answer-the undertaken.
The Pioche weekly record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1877-1900, 1881-11-26

The house in which the poet Moore
was born is now whisky shop. Burns
native cottage is a public house. Shell
ley's house at Great NARROW is beer
shop. The spot where Walter Scott was
born is occupied by similar building,
and Coleridge's residence at Neither
Stokly, the very house where he COM
posed the Ode to Nightingale, is an or
binary beer house.
The Pioche weekly record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1877-1900, 1881-11-26
FOR SALE.

business HOUSES. DWELLING HOUSES
ID and furniture. Four Work Horses and .
3h.inch Fish Wagon for sale Cheap by
J o2.lm EcHAs. STEIN.
The Pioche weekly record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1877-1900, 1881-11-26

Ben Franklins mother. in.law hesitated
about permitting her daughter to marry
printer, as there were already two
printing Offices in the United States, and
she was uncertain whether the country
would support third.
The Pioche weekly record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1877-1900, 1881-11-26

The value of gold consumed by man.
ufacturers during the fiscal year was
$lO, 600, 000---more than $3,0O0,00O Of
which was in United States coin.
The Pioche weekly record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1877-1900, 1881-11-26

Nervous persons who find it difficult
to get to sleep after going to bed at night,
will easily by laying their head on a cloth
that is saturated with the aroma or dust
of hops. mid. Press. Other, try TAX
ing the same kind of saturating fluid in
ternally.
The Pioche weekly record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1877-1900, 1881-11-26
CLOSING School WITH PRAYrR.-we

CLOSING School WITH PRAYER.-We
learn that the gentleman who teaches the
public school down at Panaca is in the
habit of closing his school with prayer.
This is a violation of the laws of Nevada,
and should the County Superintendent Of
Schools hear of it, he would most certain.
ly annul the certificate of said individual
as teacher.
PIocHE at present very much resembles
a hospital. Some of the men who got
loaded at Bullionville have been in town
for the passed three weeks, and all per.
sons who have met with mining accidents,
or have been injured in one way or an.
other, all congregate in here.
Mr.. GRAYsoN, during his hurried visit
here, took in the mining situation with
minute carefulness and expressed himself
agreeably disappointed with the outlook.
He and Supt. Gould and Mrs. Gould will
probably return to San Francisco together.
THE Day Company has been paying off
since the 2lst. The disbursements for the
mines and furnace, October account az.
gregate nearly $4,000. Mendha payroll
and Phoebe bills finished up the business
yesterday.
JIM Mccormick, who left here about
two years ago, we learn. died about one
month ago at the State Insane Asylum of
of Iowa. Mccormick lived in Montana
for long WHILE and came to Phoebe in
1871. .-....
THERE were three fires out at Bristol
during the week-the sheds of the
Day furnace, the store and Tom Gillen's
house. Fortunately they were all ex.
tinguished and little or no damage done.
MINERAL SURVEYOR. = Hon. r. s.
Clapp has been appointed Deputy United
States Mineral Surveyor for Nevada His
bond has been forwarded for approval.
WE hear that work may be resumed in
the Iron and Tempest mines at Bristol
shortly, but whether it is simply for as
sessment work or not, we cannot say
BRANCHING OUT. The renowned Sharl
family of Hike are branching out. They
have leased Benefits Springs for on,
year.
The utah Southern Times" learn
that the Copper Belt Co. s mill at Marys
vale is to start up shortly.
The 'Tiger" at Bristol was gobbled W
the other night Tail and all disappeared
THE paper at Bristol did not issue OF
Saturday, as stated it would.
MRS. ADELMAN and children returned
Thursday afternoon.
THERE are considerable lead sickness a
Bullionvillc.
The Pioche weekly record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1877-1900, 1881-11-26

Poor old Ben DeBar, when asked why
he brought back, year after year, the
same old sticks for his stock company,
used to say, by way of apology, "Egad,
sir, they would starve if I did not engage
them" Things theatrical have changed
greatly since kind hearted old Ben was a
manager of theatres. Now, if an actor is
worthless in stock company, he goes
out as star.-[N. 0. Pic.
The Pioche weekly record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1877-1900, 1881-11-26

Beaver Utonian: The citizens of Cedar
and vicinity are reported as being rather
jubilant over the prospective iron smelters
and mills that are going to be erected
next year. Bishop Taylor of Salt Lake
is over at his mines experimenting force
of men whom he has engaged to prospect
some Of the claims, mainly, however, for
the purpose of assessment work.
The Pioche weekly record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1877-1900, 1881-11-26
TAXES. TAxES.

NOTICE Is HEREBY GIVEN THAT THE
IN State and County Taxes for the year 1851
are now due and payable. ct tho stats Bank
Building, between the hours Of II \. n. and 2 p.
M, and the laws requiring their collection will
be strictly enforced. All taxes remaining nm.
paid on
Monday, November 2lst, 1881,
will become delinquent and 10 per cent added
thereto.
oi6td R. Il. ELAN, Treasurer.
The Pioche weekly record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1877-1900, 1881-11-26

JOB WORK done with Nsass~,
at the Record OA3ss.
The Pioche weekly record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1877-1900, 1881-11-26

The Philadelphia Chronicle says:
"Never marry a lawyers daughter. She
inherits the habit of cross-questioning
from her father" Upon the same prin.
ciple man should never marry an
editors daughter, because she is almost
certain to put display head on him.
The Pioche weekly record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1877-1900, 1881-11-26

Goods delivered free of charge to any portion
of the city. Give us . call before purchasing
elsewhere as we preparing to sell out at '. ~
reasonable prices.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1881-07-02

has advanced from twelfth to third sim Q
1870. OF the fifteen States which produ .
80 per cent of all the tobacco of the
country. seven are among those generally
rated as Southern and eight are Northern
States. including Connecticut. New York
and Massachusetts. The largest relative
gains in production are in the North, and
the yield per acre is generally twice a.
great in that section as in the South.
These statistics suggest that the great
source Of our national wealth is still the
soil and the country's greatest industrial
achievements are in agriculture. What
improvement has been made in adding
value to new material by the processes
OF manufacture has not vet been shown,
but If it has kept pace with the increase
in agricultural production it will be a mar
vel ". y. Times.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1881-07-02
TONTINE PLAN,

upon the principle of accumua.ing profits for def
mite perio "A, which frs: introduced by this Socie
ty, and ha been recommended and endorsed by emf
nent experts in Life Insurance. and by leading bust
ness men. Forty -Four per cent has been earned ana
accumulated on the premiums paid on its Tontine Life
Policies, and forty per cent. on its Tontne Endow
ment Policies, issued within the last five years.
The Directors of the Equitable Life Assurance So
ciety represent exclusively the interests OF the Policy
holders and in presenting the Society to notice, they
feel that has strong claims upon public confidence
of the strict and conservative principles BY
which its various departments governed. In the
assets and in the administration of the Society, per
feet security is given for the future which of great
importance to those depending upon their insurance
policies for the ultimate support Of their families.
transactions as the Equitable; none is more prom
nd just in its dealings.