The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1881-12-03


The Houston Telegram says the-e is
oaper at Brownsville, Texas, printed one
| half in Spanish and the other IL Josh Bill
ngs.
Many a young poet might be able to
collect his scattered thoughts if he would
look in an editors waste-basket early ID
the morning.
Red is used for danger-signals on the
railroads, and always means ''stop." On
mans nose it ought to give the same
warning.
A Vermont man dropped dead just as he
was going to kick football. He had
kicked his family often and always enjoyed
good health.
A Texas man killed his opponent in
duel and is now writing a poem about it.
Er Happy dead man He will never read
that poem.
No wonder ship is called "she." She
| has shifts, stays, an apron, hooks and eyes,
pins, caps and ribbons, hoods, poppets and
| husband
After man gifts to be thirty-eight years
old he kant form any new habits much
The best he kan do is to steer his old ones.
josh Billings.
Is there any reason Why man who per.
sistently refuses or fails topay his boot max
er should not be called freebooter? p
| Louisville Coat,ier-Jour7anl.
a-e kind word spoke to tramp may
cheer his whole future life. Remember
this when you see him walking off with
your axe and fifty feet of garden hose.
In the brightest lexicon of American
youth, there is no such word as fail. A
man merely becomes embarrassed and com.
promises with his creditors for thirty cents
Brother Kimball has been instrumental
in lifting debts from 81 churches. This
places the societies on good footing for
borrowing more-New Orleans Picayuns.
In the third precinct policeman ar.
rested man who tried to explain that
he was only "weary." The policeman
explained that there is arrest for the
weary"
A doctor went out for days hunting,
and on coming home complained that he
hadn't killed anything. That's because
you didn't attend to your legitimate bus;-
ness" said his wife.
"Money is so plenty in St. Louis, O." says
the Journal of that city, " that young men
are wearing pantaloons with checks on
them. And when money is scarcer prob,
ably there will be draughts through them.
The discouraged collector again present
ell that little matter. "Well, says his
friend, ''you are round again :" Yes"
says the fellow with the account in his
hand, "but want to get square"
Twogentlemen were arguing in pasture
ield, with only goat for an audience. In
reply to statement of one the other said
IL know. But" The goat took him at
his word, and the argument was continued
on the other side of the fence.
Sufferers are compelled to take life eaA
ily whether they will or not Two men
thus afflicted were at work at forge The
iron was red-hot and placed on the anvil
when the first one said: John, s-s-s-trike
it hard" The other answered: "wh-wh
where shall I hit 20 No m.m-matter now,
it S got coco. cold. was the reply, and the
bar was put into the forge again.
The cruelty of which Wisconsin wife
complains, in her suit for divorce, is that
her husband tied her securely and shaved
her head. The defence is that she bleacbed
her black hair to lemon color by the use Of
ncid, and that he, deeming such a thing
highly scandaIous. took the only means Of
undoing what she had done. He says that
he bought a wig for her, initiating her
natural hair, so that her bare head might
be concealed while nature was remedying
the designation
care the children safe?" asks the
Christian Union. Quite safe, we assure
you. They are up in the garret playing
hotel fire. jimmie ia tho clerk, and is try.
ing to slide down the water-pipe to the
ground Willie is guest, hanging to tho
window-sill, and waiting for the flames to
reach his hands before he tries to drop to
the shed roof, two stories below and Tom
is an heroic fireman, and has tied his fish
i, CLINE around the baby's body and is let
ting it down to the ground. Oh, yes. the
and don't fret about the childrsS
A direct steam line has been established |
between New Orleans and the port of Belize
in Honduras. For several years there has |
been a regular line of English steamers in
this trade connecting Honduras and the Bay
Islands with Jamaica and st. Thomas.
British Honduras and the Bay islands pro-
duce large quantities of sugar, coffee, fruit,
mahogany, cedar and dye-woods, for which
they gladly take in exchange our -four, corn
meal, wooden and iron ware, cotton goods,
machinery and agricultural implements,
selling cheap and huying at remuneraave
prices.
The heart IS like musical inatrument of
many strings, all the cords Of which re-
qu:re putting in harmony.
If one strives to treat others rs he would
oe treated by them, ne will not fail to come
uerr the nerf"c5 life.
All tnar Is wise mas Deen thought already;
we must try, however, to think it again.
A habitation giddy and unsure hath he
that buildeth on the vulgar heart-Shake-
speare.
FOOD FOR REFLECTION.
Ingratitude Is treason to mankind
Thomson.
How Ill white hairs become fool and