Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1881-04-09
Mrs. SpOOpendyke,s Idea Of a Dead.
Lock.
IBrooklyn HagIe


Mrs. SpOOpendyke's Idea of a Dead.
Lock.
IBrooklyn Eagle
MY dear" said Mrs. Spoopendyke holding
piece Of lace to her overskirt and wondering
whether she had better plait lie On or full It in:
my M .d dear , who is this congressman Lock who
What Congressman L,ck?" asked Mr. $780,
Why, l read in the paper this morning that
dead Mr.. Lock. DID you know htm9'
"That amt Congressman" said Mr.. 5000.
pendyke. You read that There was deadlock
IN the Senate. Wasn't that it?u
"1eS, and read 1t all through, and when I
round that Mr.. Conking felt SO bad about it, |
thought Mr. Lock must be a Congressman"
NO he isn't either. The deadlock means
that the democrats and republicans can't
agree"
GOOD gracious, Have they had another fall
ing out? shouldn't think the republicans
would light the poor democrats any more What
have they been doing now?''
"They haven't been doing anything. Senator
MAI aaaoa nea OF Virginia. went over to the repub
81 see,' interrupted Mrs. Spoopendyke "and
Mr. Conkling won't have him confirmed.
Though can't understand why they should In
terfere with Mr.. Mahone's religion. II the poor
man wants to join the church Il
WHO wants to join the church? Who's
church, ,l,aa Think MI: Conkllng,s bisnop? Got
chapel with Ivy all over flim, spike fence and
chime Of bels7 lis Stanley Matthews he
don't want confirmed"
81 read about him, too" reJolned Mrs. spoop-
he?'
mo, he amt. That's Judge Robertson. Mr..
Galfield wants Judge Robertson for collector.
and Mr.. Conkling is opposed to him.
II don't see why he should be- Though Of
course should suppose Mr.. Garfield would
rather have man like Mr.. Malone, who is
where's your sense?, snorted Mr.. spoonen
dyke. What dye want TO mix things up for?
Trying to make grab bag of prominent Amer.
leans? Stanley Matthews is candidate for
judge Mr.. Malone is Senator ana Robertson
is appointed collector, but, like Matthews,
hasn't hasn't been confirmed Can you see through
"Of course. 1 understand that, but don't see
any excuse for fighting the democrats unless
they think that Mr. Robertson would collect
would send him to jail. In that case it"
sin that case 1t would take you TO straighten
EN- QUIT" squealed Mr.. Spoopendyke. .'What're
you trying TO get up now. an idiot asylum? Are
up an insanity plea? What dye think Robert
sons going to collect hens? Got notion that
se sed is mashe Ma sag pe
national debt? Well, they amt, they're men.
tell ye., Men with legs and Mir. Spoopen-
ds Ike kicked out both his own foot handles by
Matthews ard Robertson. He says they shan't
| be confined, but he is friend OF Malone"
That's what didn't see" said Mrs. ,spoop-
1Tmed, though don't care for Mr.. Matthews
and Mi. Robertson. 1t Will teach them to re-
pent their sins and not fly into the face OF Prov
! lGence: I'm glad MI. Cohkiing is good Epis-
ION! he's prayer book. howled Mr.. spoop-
endyke. you've found him out! You've got
him! All he wants Is RED cushion and a rack
| nailed up In front OF him to be dod gasted
| mourner's bench! Didn't tell We he was q
Senator? Do you know what Senator is? It's
| ssmething shaped like pie, neasly pie!
"And is Mr.. Malone Senator. toos" asked
Mrs. Spoopendyke, new light dawn1ng upon
mo. he amt SENATOR" grinned Mr.. Spoop.
| endyke; "he's lightning rod to keep bowling
Idiots from falling overheard Begin TO see into
any dod gasted old female named Spoopendyke
stopping into canal, he'll slam church on
| top Of her! Got the idea?p
upon my word, my dear, )" demonstrated Mrs.
| Spoopendyke, you talk eXtravagantIy. Mr.
| Malone may fight democrats, but he would
| never 60 around throwing churches at women.
would do thing Of that kind. AS for Mr.. Mat
! thews and MIR. Robertson, they know their busi-
ness best, but II they have abused MT. Conkllng
l would never read one of Mr.: Matthews de-
| cfSions. and Mr.. Robertson might call here
| every day for month and he could never even
collect the paper bill. l don't think It's right
and know the missionary ladies would never
| permit him to collect the Subscriptions"
"Thats it," yelled MI. Spoopendyke
Theirs the science nee, Of An ysa
National Capitol! What you need Is a gas
| meter and veto to be an improved White
! House! When Robertson comes here for the
milk Dill, you pay him, you hear ? And when
! Matthews is Justice of the Peace for Brooklyn,
/ you have Conkllng arrested for stealing coal,
| you hear? That'l fetch it! You've got the
| idea now! All you want to do Is to live all
| Summer tn the soldiers home to be complete
administration! II had your vision I'd get
| up on three sticks and hire out as tele-
scope!'
"Of course, III do what you say, replied
ConkIng should take some Of our coal, unless
complaining Of him. II Mr.. Robertson comes
the first we got. Perhaps Mr.. Matthews win
think Mr.: Mahone viii come toos'
Gomez shrieked Mr.. Spoopendyke, GOT
course he'll come He's liable to be here any
come over the back fence to night! Look out
for him-I think l hear him nOw" and Mr..
Spoopendyke fell clear over himself into bed
Now understand why they have q dead
lock-" unused Mrs. Spoopendyke, pushing the
table against the door, as precautlon against
| p1mple on her elbow; ''its because these am
bilious Senators and collectors and justices
and burglars light those poor democrats all the
time | suspected there would be trouble
wheu Mr.. GARFIELD beat Mr.. Arthur for the
| presidency. FIR my part, 1 would rather be
| Gen. Grant, and get all the money, though
don't see what he wants OF it, now he's sold
out the Worlds fair" and Mrs. Spoopendyke
crawled into bed. wondering how she was to
| tell Mr.. Malone from Mr.. Robertson, and
| whether Mr.. Conkling would be content with
| what be could carry, or II he might not also
| demand her new chudda cloth dress, with cut
| steel buttons
UNCLE NOSE met very dandifled Houston
! darkey, who used 70 live In Galveston, On Gal
weston avenue, and who said, in q very digni.