Smyrna times. [volume] (Smyrna, Del.) 1854-1987, 1881-02-02
WHOLE NO. 1885.
Current Comment,
PHILADELPHIA EVENING NEWS.
The next Worlds Fair-Anpel,.

Inc next Worlds Fsir-Angels.
The sweetest chamber music is a moth.
er's low lullaby.
A woman's fitness comes by fts-StoL.
spears and World.
Ger'ter gets $4,000 month and her er.
Pen'ss for striking high Fa few times a
week.
Bangs are still fashionable for vorn,
ia0ie' domestic doors and boarding. house
butter
something NO engineer can find out
why boiler should burst when it nsver
burst before.
Ne" York wife-beaters charge that Mr..
B'rshs uhipping-post bill is IAN insult to a
free people"
Iexss does not want to be divided The
State is not big enough to hold some of its
inhabitants as it is.
Mrs. Iulock Craik's new volume of
poems is called "Thirty Years" "a.
markabls admission.
Suppose that comet should collide with
the earth, what would be the result?-Er.
ltwould be bad for the comet.
Inc physicians who war against baby car.
rages are not surgeons, as any pedestrian
who has been run into must know.
Some people never think to ash their
pavementS until they nOtice lot of chill.
dren playing on them with new sleds.
The newspaper man whs writes in favor
Of marriage with deceased wife's sister,
is either widower or sublimely heroic.
Even in the heat of battle the Peruyians
feel Chili.-PhiladeLphia Neacs. They should
use more Peruvian bark.-Csvelqnd Leader.
Sure to come round-ths apple dump.
ling. Burlington Hasekeye. And equally sure
to stay around much longer than is com.
Portable.
The ruling passion strong in death was
illustrated by the last words of New
York BELLE "Don't let mourners step on
my train
Servant girls are SO scarce in Oil City that
in many families there is peace, content.
nsnt and renewed health among the female
members.
We are preparing plumbers bill as a
valentine to be sent to Mr.. Vsnnor.-OH
City Derrick. Do you want to drive the man
into bankruptcy?
Young ladies who dislike to dis6gurs
their arms by vaccination scars have the
puncturs made below ths-top of the hos.
iery; SO it is said.
} Darwin has not yet accounted for the
gradual evolution of the feminine appetite
from chocolate caramsls to pickles and
, thence to bsefsteAk.
New Workers thoughtfully put their
steam boilers under the sidewalks, so that
, when the inevitable explosion occurs no
, enc but pedestrians will be hurt.
Doctor your thermometer SO that the
mercury will stand at 60 and then hang it
in the chicken coop if you want hens to
lay in the winter time-Le Due.
Pittsburg has had a bench show and
Lancaster show of benches. Mr.. Fred
sriCk Paulding, the young American TRACE.
dian, appeared at the last-nsmed place.
Q An overloaded stomach is unfaYorable
t brain work, and civilization wisely pro-
vides that people who do the most brain
Q work shall seldom be troubled in that way
There is a young map in Dubuque, Iowa,
a who swsars that he nsysr kissed a girl in
/, his life and never permitted one to kiss
!. him. We fear he will never amount to
n much.
The Solid South is beginning to learn
that it has no right, to be treated like
r spoiled child, and it il well that this is the
case, for Garfield is not the man to pat it
on the head and callit Sonny South.
Young ladies should not accept invita-
IT tions to partsks Of lunch after leaving
y the theater. Eating at such hours produces
g pimples and frsckles and warts and
y wrinkles and-povsrty-s escorts.
r fwoman is not mans superior in shrewd-
II ness, hew does it happen that every actress
d on the stage is an adept in the art of ad-
vsrtising, while ninstenths of the business
men in the country do not advertise at all.
h Many New England girls in remots vii
a lagos read Ruskin, Darwin and Spencer
IT Er. And many New England girls in
n large cities read Ruskin, Darwin and
y. Spsnd.sir all the money they can get hold
OF.
>. Sandwiches we're named after the Earl of
n Sandwich, q nobleman who fourished in
reign of George III. He was not de-
scsndant Of Ham, of course, or there
d would be more ham in the average sand
A wich.
a G. Washington was the most luxurious
. cuss this country ever produced. Only see
a what avast nunbsr of body'ssrvants he