The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1881-04-01
ALL SORTS.


IF punish you, said mamma to
her little girl, "you don't suppose / do
so for my own pleasure, do you?"
"Then whose pleasure is it for, dear
mammal"
A Galveston widow is about to marry
her fifth husband. Her pastor rebuked
her for contemplating matrimony SO
soon again. "Well, just want you to
them, Twill, too, was the spirited reply
The other day Delegate Cannon, the
Mormon Representative, was asked in q
bantering way, by member of Con-
gress, how many wives he had. 81 have
with the wives of other men" was Cam
mons quick rejoinder.
Judge" said Western lawyer, ''isn't
e-q-u-i the way to spell equinomical?''
81 think so, said the Judge, "but I'll
He fumbled over the pages for five min
utes and then said in heat: swell, I've
been Webster man and voted for him
for President, but any man that will
write a dictionary and leave out such
common word as equinomical can't have
my vote any more.
ST want to see the villain who wrote
this article. Where's the proprietor of
this paper?" "Hes out" where's
the managing editor?" "He's out"
Where's the city editor?" ''He's out"
where's the reporter" "He's out"
..Where'm I?' (Rickety-slam- -bang-iam!
Two panes of glass broken.) "You're
ried to hospital. Verdict: Struck by
lightning. Still, they will do it!
A fathers pride: A colored man who
is pretty well off has had his son educa-
ted for the ministry. Last Sunday the
Galveston Blue-Light Colored Taberna-
Gle was crowded to hear the young man
preach his first sermon. 1t was a splen-
did effort and the father of the young
exhorter was as happy as clam in thirty
feet of water. The day after he was asked
by friend how he liked his sons SER
mon. Chow does I like it! Why dat
ar boy breaches like de berry debbel his
self.'
Atmospheric influences: Two of the
foreign soldiers who came to Galveston
to take part in the Mardi Gras procession
were conversing last night about Gal
weston, it's climate and natural advan.
tages. Finally one of them said: "Did
you find it very warm yesterday" mo;
I didn't think it was warm. " Il didn't
either until came to examine my pock-
cts, when I found about $40 in silver
had there had all melted away" "I
reckon that must be the atmospheric in
fuences we heard so much about. y
Gilhooly as an equestrian: Gilhooly
hired pony the other day to take a little
exercise on. He got all the exercise he
wanted, and DIS he limped to the edge of
the sidewalk to rest himself after taking
so much exercise kind friend asked
him: 'tWhat did you come down so
quick for?" s.What did come down SO
quick for? Did you see anything up in
the air for me to hold on TOT"
True philanthropy: Mrs. Magofin had
been reading in the newspapers OF
man who died, leaving q young and at !
tractive widow to whom he devised his
entire wealth. stNow, that's what call
true philanthropy, she remarked, re-
moving her spectacles and looking at
her husband as if she expected to be con-
tradicted. 'sWhy so?'he asked. because
he left his property in such way that
some other man will be sure to enjoy il"
she said.
Miss Janetta B. Hart, successful
teacher, has announced herself can
didate for superintendent of schools in
Washington county, Pennsylvania, say
ing:'sI do not ask for the Office as mat
ter of charity or chivalry because am
a woman, but wish to come before the
directors of the county as man would
come, resJing my case on such evidence
as may be able to furnish of my char
acter, education and experience an an
instructor