Arizona weekly enterprise., 1881-12-10
"QUEsTIONS ANSWERED."
A AVisiter Who W ns Above the vanities
 Of rhis World.
From the Brooklyn EaRIe.l

lrrom the brooklyn EaRie.J
 Are you one of the editors of this newspaper 2" she asked in futtering tone, approaching the man who does the "Questions Answered" for the Ea0Ie.
 Yes" he replied, taking her in at 8 glance. Make the waist plain and shirr on the skirt; put in an apron front and leave the back of the dress full, with a narrow hounce at the bottom" and the encyclopedia turned away to his work.
 1T didn't want to ask you about dress" she faltered. "I hope I am above the vnnities of this world I have been church member, but am be- wildered about my responsibilities, and her eyes filled with tears.
 Are you m idiot, lunatic, married woman, or habitual drunkard ?" in- quired the "Questions " man, running over the Norvum Organum to see if the Plesiosaurus laid eggs or suckled her young.
 "Sir :" she demanded, with rising in- dignation.
 ''Because if you ain't, you're legally responsible" he answered, turning to tlle question How could the chil- dren of A lam marry the daughters of man, if there was no man before Adam ?'
 II don't mean that. I want to un- derstand whether l am free agent, or if am--"
 "That depends upon how yon have made your contract. Ii you bought the goods outright you arc only liable for tue purchase price, but if you work on com mission--"
 "No, no. Not that ;" and streaming tears reused the "Questions man to some show of interest "I am in doubt Which way shall turn ?"
 Well, my dear, that depends much on the dance. In the waltz you turn from left to right until you reverse In the"
 "Good Heaven l" ejaculatcd the in- quirer, "he thinks I dance. No, no, mol You don't understand me. want tD understand the right road"
 "Tss, yes see. That depends upon ciucRnstances. If you're going to the c1metery, you take a Greenwood car. If you're going over to Williamsburg, look out for Greenpoint and Myrtle syenue car or, if you want the circus, yvu will find the Fulton street,"
 Merciful Providence Itis not that, either. Can yon scoR at me when my head is bowed thus in sorrow?"
 esOh, that's it r replied the "Ques. tions man, glancing through Rollin', history to find the difference between | Scandinavian and a Swedenborgian "Get a brown chip turned up at tho back or on the left side, and trim 1t witt |, yard of Spanish lace and bunch o fOrget-me nots in the front Or, yor might try a white Leghorn with"
 "Can't you understand me?" sh, moaned, wrnging her hands. "Don' you see that my feet are sore and weary looking for the right path P
 "Corns ?" asked the "Questions man, scratching his ear. "Pare 'en down carefully, and put on four drop of lemon, or"
 "You mock me she sobbed. "Pray let me rest a moment"
 The "Questions man regarded he sympathetically, and turned to the in quiry, "Did the Athenians fry thei clans or eat them raw ?" while he guy her time to recover.
 "I come for information" she con tinued. at length want to kno' what can do. am in fever"
 "Saltsl" proclaimed the encyclopedi with energy. "You want salts; table spoonful an hour before breakfast. Ths will reduce the fever, and then"
 "You horrible wretch " sobbed tn unhappy woman, rising. "I came you because thought you could guid me to the spiritual fountain for which ljn thirsting, and you insult me in tn lnton way " and she Topped out ( the office with riotous indignation.
 "Most unaccountable female," solilt quized the "Questions man. "I tol her what I thought she wanted to knov iend she gets as mad as the fellow di when told him that pawnbrosing toe it's origin in showing Jonah in the spon I've got to have more salary for tn business, or the EagLe must get anoth, man," and the encyclopedia bent h attention upon his question, "Wh postage did Paul pay on his first epist to the Corinthians?"
 
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