The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1881-03-05
HE KNEW HOW TO TRAVEL.


HE KNEW HOW TO TRAVEL.
We were rumbling merrily along to Put
nam, Connecticut, when tho new man got
on. think he got on at walpole. He car
ried valise, blanket rolled up in shawl
strap, a cane, an umbrella and book. He
wore a plaid suit and silk hat, and polo
cap was rolled up in his ulster pocket. In
one of them, that is, for they were legion.
He carried his wax matches in little pock-
ct on bis right cuff, His little case of gentle
cigarettes in a little pocket just below the
handkerchief pocket; his card case in lit
tie pocket near the right hip, then there
wore three other unassigned pockets on the
right breast and two,other mysterious pock-
cts on tho left side of his ulster. Then
think there were two pockets on the back Of
that wonderful garment, just below the
shoulders, but will not be positive. His
ulster was belted in with belt that might
haye done duty on the big pully in saw
mill. He parted his beard in the middle,
combed his hair low on his forhead, was
very broad across his back, and had voice
as big as his ulster. He paused beside me
and looked down at me.
"This seat occupied, sir 7"
And he said sir like a regular army officer,
with an impressive pause between it and
the rest of the sentence, pause just about
as long as the regular army officer usually
occupies in saying "tless YOU" or words to
that indirect effect.
"No, sir" said, timidly, and then with
feeble attempt at cordially, I added, "sit
down, sir"
"Sr," said the new man, ~ intend TO. I
generally find seat the car is crowded, or
tell people what think about it,"
And then he sat down, partly on the seat
and partly in my lap, crushing me up
against the window. He put his silk hat in
the rack and the polo cap down over his
manly brow; he stood his cane and umbrel-
la up in my end of the seat and set his yalise
upon my feet. Then he folded his arms SO
that one of his great elbows jammed itself
INTO my cheek, and then he looked comfort
able. Once in while he would suddenly
feel in his pocket for something, and every
time he did SO, that elbow went cruising up
and down my ribs like street erusher.
In one of those sudden disturbances l
ventured, with a feeble effort at timid sar
casm to "hope that didn't incommode
him ?"
mo, sir |" said the new man, with con
siderable italics "no, sir, I'd let you know
very quickly if you did, sir. I'd tell you
what thought about it,"
Presently he took out his little cigarette
case, and neat little meerschaum holder
and made preparations for the comfort of
smoke, but the brakeman touched his shoul-
der and told him he must 80 forward to the
smoking car.
"Isnt this the smoking carr" yelled the
new man, nearly grinding me to powder as
he turned to face the brakeman.
"No, sir" replied that functionary, very
airily; "this is ladies' car"
"well, by jove," said the new man, al
took it for the smoking car, and not very
nice one at that. 1t looks. like a smoking
car, and the people in it like the people ]
generally find in smoker"
And then he ground around toward me
again and said:
"I'm an old traveller, and when don't
like anything tell what l think about it.
That is where you'll generally find'me."
l wanted to say something smart, but
somehow or other couldn't think of any.
thing very appropriate just then, so held
my peace, and nerved my wrath against not
only the new man, but the fat passenger,
whom could hear behind me making pleas
ant remarks about my position. By'and-
bye we stopped at some station where there
was great Concord stage waiting, and tho
new man was one Of the first passengers to
rush out, saying he would have box seat
or they'd hear what he thought about it.
Well, guess he got it. He was climbing
up over the forward wheel, roaring at the
apathetic driver to take his valise, when the
tram started and the noise frightened the
horses, and they made plunge. The new
man stepped on the wheel and was thrown
headlong on the ground, swapping his UNI
brella and cane in tho spokes OF the wheel
as he fell. His hat rolled off, his valise fell
in front of the wheel, which passed over it,
and two or three men, making a rush for
the horses, stepped on his bat | couldn't
get my window up in time to cheer, but the
sad passenger got his head out, and as the
train moved OFF the crowd around the coach
and the new man was thrilled by a tender,
insnuating voice, that came singing back
from the car window with melancholy in
tonation;
81 say, tell 'em what you think about it!''
-BErliagtoa RdiOkeye.