National Republican. (Washington City (D.C.)) 1872-1888, 1881-03-07
WITH A BIG N.
QUITE A SYMPATHETIC SYMPOSIUM.
The Jedges, keyurnels, and Majahs Hold Another
COuncil-The Policy of the New Administra-
ton Discussed and Few ImpOr-
tant Matters Disposed OF.

!
mediately after he had called the brethren to
ORDER an the ques-shun is shell we set onto the
top rail or shell we continoo to lay alongside oY
| the bottom oneT'
81 objec' toe further discushin' ov the subec,"
interpoSed Jedge Ke- ayrter, until hev made my
pint ov ordah, sab, witch it is ez follows, toe wit,
namely: Wen l, bein' Ov peaceable disposition,
wuz perceedin toe enter this yer buildin wuz OBJ
struckshunated-an how? By armed man, sab
by minyan, sab, in bloc cloz>-a soljah sech ez
succumbed us toe the will ov the people, sah He
wuz pintin' ov his bay'net toe my breas
(Which nevah hev felt fear Onless on dangersome
occashuns) an maxim Oy pint ov Ordah agin me.
YO mus STAN back said the murmydon oY
the bay nut i am a membah, sab, SEE l, War
air your credenshuls?' Intercepted my oppressor.
Here in my buzzum,' proudly replied toe him,
layin my han ontoe my breas'. i am a Ameri-
cant" W'areupon he withdrew his pint ov ordah
an pas in.
"Now, Teller citerzuns an brohering w at secoor
ity hev we agin sech owdashus purceedin's? Is
Conggrs toe be sot ontoe air toe be sot onto by
military saytraps endangerin' the liberties ov our
foregoes an comeafters?n
IF the honorable jedge will permit me, will
eggsplain," interrupted Majah Shadsby, as .Jedge
Ke-ayrter drew in long breath, preparatory to
fresh outburst. F." secoored the detailin' indi
vidooal lat eggspense toe this society toe pur
teck us agin wusS,r elements heyin no respec fer
our reserve rights in the bountiful repas' spread
fer our espeshul benefackshun.
at wuz misfortynit tibet the individooal he'd on
uniform, witch wuz bloc; but hey motifs tibet in
permiskus assemblidge tibet tibet uniform in
shoors respec, witch we allus duz not. 1 am
Dimmycrat, but l hev been a soljah Ov malishy,
an respec' soljahs wen they air servin' ov us"
The Honorable Chinwind remarked that it was
high time for the people to take into consideration
their rights under the Constitution-when liberty
was in danger from the encroachmentS of armed
men upon the rights Of private citizens when the
Halls of Congress even were guarded by bayonets.
All lovers of perfect freedom ought to unite in
condemning the policy placing them there.
yet" added the speaker, as no harm has been
done, and we have, in fact, benefited by the
innovation, think further discussion unneces-
sary."
Further debate was prevented by the chairman,
who produced a copy of THE NATIONAL REPUBLI-
CAN, from which he read as follows:
"For the next four years State will invariably
be spelled with small and nation with great
big ""
"Wat duz it mean?" inquired half dozen
voices.
at means" gravely responded the ledge, "that
we air in the minority state, witch is a state oV
cussidnis, so toe speak-it means tibet. havin
wunst laid down our arms (w'ich eff we carried ov
EN- we he'd toe, we hev 10 continOo to be layin ov
'em down fer 70 yeah mo-. 1t means jist wat it
sez-that we mus, eff We hev q hankcrin' fer
offs spell accordin toe the scriptur ov the Radical
dispensashun."
"Thet chocolates subiec' the witch hev con-
sidurbly bothered me-" remarked Ke-yurnel
Cadgcr. Las night wuz follerin' ov crowd ov
visitin' statesmen dressed in bloc cloze wen some
one ov EN- lifted up his voice an cried: LES take
yf1t oinf' tn q
pals. 1 lean one elbow onioe the bar an wuz a
watin' for the peace ofern wen, seq bloc coat
toe me- SEE he: say (hic), ole fel howd'ye spell
Nashun? Il will capital State. 1 don't spell it
with cent SEE 1, jest by way ov 'umorin' OF
him. Boys, SEE he, this (hic) fer
can't spell Na(hic)shun. Les make i'm
take suthn,' cried they, all Ov em. take
suthin'?' SEE he ez perlite ez pie. In coursely
nevah refooze wen invited SEE 1. Then, SEE he,
take (hic) this an he handed me a glass ov
lcatah. Hdtah, mind you, an SEE !, L nevah take
watah-not fer ablootin purposes innardly-I-'
Then saw stars, an fireworks an things, an felt
as eff a anvil had bump me on the nose. The back
end ov my head telescope my hat agin the coun-
ter, an, vile wuz helpless as chile, by manip-
ulatin' ov my nose they made me take watah-half
bucket ov it.
"'Now kin you spell nation?' seq my oppressors
Sell Il kin; with " 70 teen flt long, ezhe How
doe you spell state?' SEE 1, With nary 81 Hes
convarted boys SEE he-'turn him out witch
they did, an it is remarkable how menny cow
hide boots the foot witch escorted me toe the do
he'd on. A impreshun wuz made witch pains me
even YETI
Elder Stukey observed, al can fully sympa-
thize with the brother-I hev been thar
wuz preaehin' ov the gospil ov peace wen the
purceshun wuz a paSsin', an he'd jist remark
eff he he'd bin elected we would hev hurrah for
Hancock"-wen Individual numb'rin' some
fo hundred, as jedged, in red shirt lit ontOe me-
{ Let US hev harmony" cried /, witch I got a
hunk ov it the size ov mans fist atween my eyes
Ov course subsidized an sot down with my back
ontoe the pavement, Ontil the harmonious assem-
biedge he'd passed"
Ke-yurnel Cheeky next secured the floor. al
move" said he, thet the proprietor ov this estab-
lisment be requested to contribute toe the public
good by invitin' or us toe take suthin' at his
eggspense'
The proposition was seconded by every member
present and adopted unanimously. The Key urnel
being appointed by the chair to make known to
Jim the will of the society, withdrew, and after
brief absence returned, closely followed by Jim,
bearing tray, upon which sat two generous-sized
decanters, around which numerous glasses were
arranged.
"Gem'm'n," said Jim, as he sat down the tray,
20 dis am de gennywinc stuff. it am-but this chile
don't fotch no mo- without de cash am ahead oh |
it, shuah. An waits mo-, nary drap teches de |
gem'm'ns lips dat don drink Marsr CARTEL heaIf
Hear me-"
al knowed it wuz a-comin', 1 knowed it, NUT |
tered ledge Turkles. 1--WE hev got toe climb one |
way or anuther. We have got toe climb ontoe the |
top rail or climb out'n this"
"The time hez come" boldly interposed Jed ge
Air we slaves tibet we tremble at sight ov the lash
ov public opinyun? Air we ijuts, tibet We hev no !
ov dooty? Wat is public opinyun |
along side ov crackers N cheese? Wat is doOty |
but drinks, wen we kin sedooce 'eul to our Stun
micks? For myself he continued, 81 am ready |
toe rise above the narrer principals ov politics. !
an, as a dimmycrat eZ WIZ (wunst old line |
Whig) an Republican as IL, jine with our re-
spected host in dom oy honah toe our new Presi-
dent"
So saying, he poured a trimming glass and |
gulped down the delicious draught in token of his !
change of faith.
AS for myself said Hon. C!linwind it be- |
comes ME to publicly proclaim my great admiral |
lion for the head of the new administration, of /
which L am humble member at 81. 200 per /
year. Had we been beaten 1 should have been /
upon the winning SIDE as a matter of course. l |
had made every preparation to sustain a Demo- |
cratic President had one been elected. I drink |
most cheerfully drink, President Garfelds health"
ats id rough on a mans principles Of he hev |
any toe doe it-but rougher on his stummick toe
refoose, "-growled Majah Shadsby. "Ihev march |
in the pereeshun alongside ov niggeroes-I hev
swallered my WORKSHOPS oy 'em-w'en necessary,
With ease. reckon kin swaller Garfield an the
null radical party with whiskey so here she goes
Suitng his actions to the words, he followed ledge
10 oy-rta in tl,a Cd of
1.-THE Lawd's will be done. Eff so be the good ov
he brotherin' requires a sacrifice, am ready toe
immediate myself thusiy," piously observed Elder
stukey, as he filled a tumbler and passed the de-