Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1881-01-29
Getting Ready.
TIE sPo0PENDYKEs PEARE TO
ENJOY THEMSELVES.
Brooklyn Gag lie.

90 get ready, my dear suggested
Mr.. Spoopendyke, eheerily, "and
/ won't be late at dinner party.
Iwant you TO fix up 50 as 10 be
the best-loo ing woman at The
table. You can get ready in an
hcur, can't your
II think i can, replied Mrs.
Spoopendyke, with litter. oh,
yes, ] can dress in that time, and
Hope you won't be disappointed
In me-" and the little woman be-
gan TO take down her back hair.
"You might get my shaving
tackle for me-" said Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke, appropriating the only nir-
r0r, "and now | think Of it. be
continued, after a usu>e, tiny
dress coat needs 'u.ton. Sew it
on, woD's you ?"
Nrs. Spoopendyke logged out
The cont and hunted through a
bToken-down old bas after but
ton that would do.
got that button seWed on yet"'
inquired Mr.. Spoopendyke, lather-
ing away comfortably.
I'm minute. my dear" re-
sponded his wife
swell, hurry up; | want you to
put tn sc studs and sleeye-butions
into my clean shirt"
Mrs 81 oopendyke gradually got
around TO these offices and laid out
the habiliment in readiness for her
lord.
Ibid you take those stitches in
my gloves 30 inquired Mr.. Spoop-
endyke.
'Oh. yes! certainly replied
MRS. Spoopendyke, going right to
work at it..
well, then, you can brush my
vest and pantaloons, aud by that
thee III bo ready to have you lie
my cravat."
A few moments more found Mr..
Spoopendyke arrayed completely.
Come, ready ~ he demanded,
having assured himself that his
wife had not accomplished single
step toward her toilet
mot quite, DEAR" responded the
lady, with one-half her hair in her
mouth, and the other half crack
ling under the brush.
whats the matter with you ?"
he asked. Didn't you say YOU
could get ready in an hour? Didn't
you hear me tell you when l came
in that we only had an hour TO
dress in? What have you been
doing? Why can't you go as you
are? You look well enough"
II was busy fixing your things"
ALTERED Mrs. Spoopendyke, land
/ couldn't do two things ut once"
oh, no! You can't do anything
at once. Why didn't you have my
things fixed this morning ? Why
don't you keep house somehow ?
That dress you've got ON is good
enough? Why can't you go in
that dress? If you've got to put
on all the frills you won't be ready
by next fall. Amt you most
ready now? Think I'm going to
stand around here like a jug of
mineral water?"
Mrs. Spoopendyke twisted up
her hair and jammed in the pins
Then she put on her hat and
twitched it first to one side and
then the other; put one hand up
behind and showed it forward, and
then caught hold of it in front and
pulled it down.
"Well, ifyou're ready let's start,
growled Mr.. Spoopendyke. you
have been long enough for tele-
graph wire; now, come on"
"Oh /! / haven't got my dress on
yet" pleaded Mrs. Spoopendyke.
"I'll be through in minute"
"Dod CAST the dress - calculated
Mr.. Spoopendyke, where's my
paper? Give me my paper and
I'll read for month or two. You
WON'T be ready till spring Where's
that paper ?'
Take a book, DEAR recon-
mended Mrs. Spoopendyke, blush
ing deeply and glancing around
nervously.
Il don't want any measly
book" retorted Mr. Spoodendyke,
II want the morning paper. Find
that paper the first thing you do,
and then you get ready In four
seconds"
al think you'll find the paper
behind-behind the book. case"
said Mrs. Spoopendykt, as red as
a brick, and she hustled into her
skirt, and then clawing at it be-
hind in an effort too loop it up
okroiOht GT,n alm0sf rnady" aha
giggled, Historically, as she drew
on her waist and buttoned it up
nervously. "I'll be ready before
you could turn the paper inside
out" and she snatched a ribbon
from the drawer. tied it in a bow,
xainnad Ii at her throat and ha oh cd