The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1881-01-22
SPOOPENDYKE.

HE DISCUSSES POLITICS WITH HIS WIFE
AND GOES TO BED WORN OUT WITH THE
EFFORT TO MAKE HER Uni ERSTAND 4
SUBJECT THAT HE HIMSELF KNOWS VERY
LITTLE ABOUT.
Now, my dear" said Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke, ''if you will come and sit down
here, I'll explain the political situation
to you. l am glad to see you take ar
interest in such things, for everybody
ought to thoroughly understand what is
going on in the country"
"I've been reading about them every
day." reioined Mrs. Spoopendyke. "and
l think know good deal about poll
tics now," and the good lady turned tur
key red with the idea that she had ex-
cited her husbands admiration. 81
think Mr.. Garfield is too sweet to live.
and dear Mr.. Hancock is just as nice as
he can be. They are ever SO much bet
ter than that odious English and Arthur
Oh. if | was a man would vote for Gar
| field and Hancock
THAT amt the way to talk politics, y
sneered Mr.. Spoopendyke. Il thought
you said you knew something about it.
Got an idea that Garfield and Hancock
are some kind of bonnet, haven't you !?
Well, they amt. and they amt a foreign
bible society, either"
"Do you like English and Arthur best +?
They may be good men for the Presi-
dency, but l saw more in the papers
concerning Garfield and Hancock, and |
thought they must be splendid. Per-
haps | vas mistaken"
Clarified and Hancock amt running
together, tell ye." retorted Mr.. Spoo-
pendyke; ''they are running against each
other"
There's another thing said Mrs.
Spoopendyke, complacently; "ifthey are
doing that. perfectly agree with you in
thinking that English and Arthur are
the best. They are perfect gentlemen,
and Mr.. Arthur is so handsome. l saw
his picture
Don't you know any thing at all,
scarcely?" demanded Mr.. Spoopendyke.
English and Arthur amt twins; they
are running against each other. too.
Where'd you find out about politics, any
way-in cook book? P'raps you think
these candidates are vegetables, Mrs.
Spoopendyke. But they amt, they re
men, with arms and legs; they ain
things to make pudding of.
Certainly. l know that responded
Mrs. Spoopendyke, cheerfully, but il
Mr.. Garfield is running against Mr.. Han
cock, and Mr. English is running against
Mr.. Arthur, don't see what we've going
to do How are we going to choose -
But they have got to run against each
other" explained Spopendyke with ris.
ing emphasis. You don't suppose can
lidates all run together like \ lot of hens
do ye?'
IF Mr.. Hancock and Mr.. Garfield
run against each other, won't Mr.. Han
cock have the best of ito
"Why should he?' demanded Mr.
Spoopendyke.
'Cause he's so big. If they were run
ming together he'd get beat, cause he'
too fat. He couldn't"
Does anybody in the country know
what you're talking about? Do you sup
, pose they stand off and bump up agains
each other like a couple Of freight trains
Got an idea they're going to roll up thei
trowsers and run a leg race? | tell "
Hancock is running for one Presiden
and Garfield is running for another
Now, dye understand"
son that's it. Now l begin to SCI
into it." returned Mrs. Spoopendyke JOY
: ously. $50 if you want to vote for tw'
men for the Presidency, you must -ot