davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The semi-weekly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1879-1882, 1881-07-21


ENERGY ON TAp.-MR. AND Mas.
SPooPENDYKE DISCUSS THE LATEST
SCIENTIFIC DIscovEaY. II see
that Frenchmau has got patent for
canned energy" observed Mrs. Spoop.
endyke, as she picked up a lot Of steel
beads on needle and began sewing
them on medallions for dress trim
mings.
"Got q what p Intercepted Mr..
Spoopendyke, who was backing his
boots.
Eyes. He says he can put streug th
up 10 bundles and send II anywhere.
so they can run ships and things With
out steam. he sont ever so much
over to Scotland"
"What circus bill have you been
reading nowf" qusrisd Mr.. Epoopen-
dyke, glaring at his wife.
cts sc," she replied. II saw IL In
the Eagle. He does II up like pre-
serves aud it lasts ever SO long, and
its just as fresh and strong when they
open it as it was at first"
"Who puts 1t upY Who're you talk.
ing aboutf"
"a Frenchmaa. He gets lot Of
strength and fixea it with electricity,
and you can buy it anywhere. I'm
going to get some aud take it. It'll
be just the same as going in the
country, and maybe it'll help my
headaches Isuppose the Government
will buy a lot of it for tramps."
3You gone crazy againY" demanded
Mr.. Spoopendyke. aWhat dye mean
BY putting strength up in boxes !?
Think energy is SONS kind of dod
gasted 6sh3 S'pose you can put main
strength up in bottles like measly
shrimp? If you're going to read, why
don't you read straight?'
"Why, I did. He has some kind
of a machine and he makes energy SO
it viii last, and then he soldiers it
up in tins, or something, SO you can
keep it 10 the house. I'm going to
have some to do the washing"
"Does it strengthen up the mind Of
q dod gasted idiot ?" blurted Mr..
Spoopendyke: "Cau it make meas
ly Spoopendyke woman talk sense?"
"The paper didn't say; but if it is
all they claim for it, it will be great
help in house cleaning and moving the
step ladder around when you want to
hang pictures And then it saves
boiling beef tea. Oh, you ought to
read about it. They say it's the
grandest invention of the age"
"D'ye tell me that they're selling
muscle by the keg? Want me to under
stand that some frog eater is keeping
industry on draught3 Think Pm an
ASST"
THAT'S what the Eagle says" re-
joined Mrs. Spoopendyke, with a
The semi-weekly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1879-1882, 1881-07-21

SHAN'T / TAKE BLUE PILL -
No, don't take it and run the risk of mer-
curial poisons, but when hiliousness and
constfpated get package of the celebrated
Kidney Wort, and it will speedily cure
you. 1t is natures great remedy for con-
stipation, and for all kidney and liver
diseases. 1t acts promptly on these great
organs and SO restores health, strength
and vigor. It is put up in liquid and dry
form, both acting with equal efficiancy.
Price $l.--See Adv.
The semi-weekly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1879-1882, 1881-07-21

This is the season Of the year when
the modest traveller, who travels as a
business, and who has to put in few
hours at summer resort, has the
misfortune to see his name telegraphed
to the daily papers as distinguished
arrival at such hotel. He may only
have got his dinner at the hotel, and
may have taken a tooth-pick and
his grip sack and gone to catch
freight train for the next town, but
the enterprising hotel proprietor, who
wants to show that his hotel is rapidly
filing up, telegraphs the name to the
Milwaukee and Chicago papers. This
is not done after tho season is fairly
opened, but the frst week or two any
arrival is good enough to send OF by
telegraph. This practice is very an
noying to men who travel for bust
ness houses, as the propristors are led
to suppose their commercial tourists
are neglecting business The travel
elers do not care to be considered
summer guests All they want is
some hash and good show of bust
ness Summer hotels should not take
advantage of every business man who
drops in for a dinner, and telegraph
his name all over creation, as though
he had come to spend the summer.
We have seen, in one week, the name
Of one drummer In six different dis
patches, from six different resorts, and
he was only selling grindstones by
sample. Pecks San.
The semi-weekly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1879-1882, 1881-07-21

A machine has been brought to the
attention of the French Academy of
Sciences which is capable Of raising
water to a height previously un-
attainable by rotary machine. It
is the invention of M. de Romilly,
and a labratory model worked by
hand projects water to a height Of
500 feet.
The semi-weekly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1879-1882, 1881-07-21
TONE.
The WEDDING oEIEBRArED AT sHAvANo

TEE WEb1hN0 CELEnnAA1D a StAA AA'Ss
Last evening very enjoyable affair
took place at the residence Of Sha-
vano on Yaller Dog avenue, corner OF
Oayote street.
Yesterday being the tenth anniver-
sary Of the nuptials Of Mr.. and Mrs.
Shavano, invitations were given to
all the bon ton Utes on the Reserva-
ton to be present at the tin we'd
ding,
Arrangements were made for the
attendance Of the Pappoose String
Band, and refreshments to be furnish
ed by the Ute Delmouico, Slim-Jam-
with.the- Ohawed- Ear
At an early hour the palatial wig
wan was ablsze with Government
candles, and oandelabra made to rep
resent antique oyster-cans filed with
hot lard and lighted by means Of q
cotton rag Of the time Of Henry VIII.
So perfect was the imitation that the
eye was deceived ct once by the rus
tic device
Ranged about the spacious tepee
were settees, consisting Of quaint buff
falo robes artistically decorated Ia the
rude art Of the Indian, with buckskin
fringe and Michael Angelo heas
Here and there upon the walls
might DO seen aboriginal sketches Of
Moses In the bull PUSHES, aud paint
ings taken from peach cans of the
time Of Queen Anne. Costly tapes
tries Of Oriental cobwebs, and smoke
tanned fresc,es, with here and there
a dash Of color laid with q master
hand, and done in oil and axle grease,
we're everywhere seen.
In the full blaze Of the respondent
candelabra, and the fragrance from the
tropical ham which shed its soft, se-
ductive odor upoA the rayishing sem
ses, the scene seemed ike a vison
taken from some fairy tale.
Shortly after eight o'clock the
guests began to arrive, and before
nine, all the able-bodied Utes Of the
reservation had gathered within the
hospitable corral Of Mr.. and Mrs,
Shavano,
The fragrance seemed more and
more seductive as the multitude Of
guests became more numerous and
continuous.
At last there was wild burst of
music from the Pappoose String Band,
and the warriors of the party each
gayly secured partner and began to
dance like man who steps on a car
pet tack 10 the middle Of the night.
Toward midnight the prompter, Red
dog With-a. Peeled-Snoot, announced
that the gentlemen would secure part
ners, for scalp quadrille. On form
ing, however, it was found that no
scalp had been provided. The leader
Of the orchestra, however, stated that
he knew where one could be obtained
and would only detain them a few
moments. He came back in short
time with the scalp of the Presiding
Elder who had come to the Agency
for bis health.
1t wasn't very good scalp, but
time was precious.
The costumes were striking, yet
inexpensive, Shavano was wrapped in
thought His wife was clad in the
same simple costumes The envy and
The semi-weekly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1879-1882, 1881-07-21

DR.. Kline's Great Nerve Restorer
is the marvel Of the age for all nerve
diseases. All fits stopped free. Send
to 931 Arch street Philadelphia, Pa.
The semi-weekly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1879-1882, 1881-07-21

CLERICAL ORAroRY.-Why don't
our preachers study oratory As
preachers. not pastors, their business
is to work a certain effect, and all
helps to it's production should be a
part of their business to learn. I
presume I shall not be misunderstood
to mean the effect Of displaying self,
and winning admiration for personal
gifts. What the true preacher seeks
to do is to inform the intellect With
Christian Lruth to stir the heart and
thereby influence the will of his hear
ers. Half the sermons annually
preached are, so far as human insight
goes, waste of labor and breath
Two things partly account for this !:
One is, that majority of the men
set to preach are entirely out of their
real avocation-good pastors they may
be, but fit preachers they are lot; an
other is that those with more aptitude
for preaching do not yet understand
the means to be employed to attain
their object. Sometimes the preacher
has some conception Of the needs of
human nature, and knows that the
truest'truths fail toImove when put be-
fore men in dull, dry way. Per
haps be does his best to acquire good
style, and succeeds in making az ably
written discourse. But when he gets
into the pulpit to give it to his people
where is the impression it should pro-
duce? What becomes of his choice
words, his considered sentences? there
they lie upon the page he holds, he
proceeds to read them Why do they
fail of any result? 1t is for want of
delivery, of the oratorical power of
making mere words tell His faith
fal effort goes for little he seems to
his hearers to be reading something
to them, as he is, not to be speaking
to them from the heart.-August At
lantic.
The semi-weekly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1879-1882, 1881-07-21
THE TEN LITTLE GRAssHoPpERs,


Ten little grasshoppers
Sitting on vine;
One ate too much green corn
Then there was but nine.
Nine little grasshoppers
Just the size of bait;
A little boy went fishing
Then there were but eight.
Eight little grasshoppers
Stayed out after 'leven
A white frost nipped one
Then they were seven.
Seven little grasshoppers
Lived between two bricks
Then came hurricane
Then there was but six.
Six little grasshoppers
Found bee hive;
One found humble. bee
Then there was but Eve.
Five little grasshoppers
hopping OH tuc noot
Pussy took one for mouse
Then there was but four.
Fonr little grasshoppers
Found a green pea;
Had fight about it
Then there was but three.
Three little grasshoppers
Sighed for pasture new;
Tried to cross the river
Then there was but two
Two little grasshoppers
Sitting on stone;
A turkey gobbler passed that way
Then there was but one.
One little grasshopper
Living all alone
Soon got married.
Then there was none,
One daddy grasshopper,
One nanny squaw;
Soon raise a family
OF ten grasshoppers more.
The semi-weekly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1879-1882, 1881-07-21

DR.. Holman's Ague and Liver Pad
always cures because II acts upon DR..
Holman's absorption theory, now univer-
sally acknowledged to be scientifically cor-
rect. Its limitations fail because they are
limitations, and are Of no value whatso-
The semi-weekly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1879-1882, 1881-07-21

l see that the comet is leaving the
earth at the rate of C0O,O9O miles day.
l could be very happy on that comet. T.
r. Conlling IN the Chicago Tribune.
The semi-weekly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1879-1882, 1881-07-21

Remember the James Boss is the only
patent case made of two plates of solid
gold Zone outside and one inside) covering
every part exposed to wear or sight, the
great advantage of these plates over
electro-gilding is apparent to every one.
Boss is the only patent case with which
there is given written warrant, of which
the following is facsimile:
The semi-weekly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1879-1882, 1881-07-21

No matter how truthful man may he
through life he is bound to lie at the
point of death.
The semi-weekly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1879-1882, 1881-07-21

Nature is pitiless as we'll as benev-
olent ar.l bountiful. She never with
draws her flowers, her music, her
joyousness, and her sunlight from
before human cruelty and suffering.
The semi-weekly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1879-1882, 1881-07-21

evil the coming man fy3" He
probably viii when the coming woman
gets after him.
The semi-weekly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1879-1882, 1881-07-21
A NEW KIND OF WATCH CASE.

New because it is only within the last
few years that it has been improved and
brought within the reach Of every one !;
old in principal because the frat inven-
ton was made and the first patent taken
out nearly twenty years ago, and cases
made at that time and worn ever since,
are nearly as good as new. Read the fol.
lowing which is only one of many hum
dreds, your jewellers can tell of similar
ones:
The semi-weekly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1879-1882, 1881-07-21

ENJOY COMFORT.
C6rns, Ingrowins Mails. CAilbiains, Frosted
Feet, Bunions, Callous Fssh,
and all diseases OF the Feet successfully
treated, without pain or drawing blood, and
without Inconvenience to the patient, by
PROF. A. CLARK of South America,
CHIR0PQDIsT. An orders viii be pIomp.
tly attended at residence. Terms moderste
and within reach Of all persons Have
removed my Office froni 1915 Chestnut St.,
Philadelphia. to the Arcade Hotel. Mount
Holly, where can be seen on Saturdays
and Sundays.
Mount Holy References Joseph H. COP
puck, John W. Brown, ESQ.,. Il. ]. B. Slack,
Phillip Z. Slack. Esq.,, John B. Collins, Hen
~ G. Shinn, Samuel P. Richmond, william
W: Curtis, Risdon Hankinson, Edward
Wills, Shinn Oliphant. Theodore N. Hates,
Charles B. Parsons, William Cronk and
others and nearly one hundred ladies,
whose names can be shown at my office.
Examination free. Office hours, 8 to 10A. N;
to and to9P.M.
Ny South American Corn Remedy canl
had at Craig Moffetts Drug Store.
Mar.-20l-m.
The semi-weekly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1879-1882, 1881-07-21
Many are sssfsrss.o from Colds

Dry, parched, sore throat, losing flesh,
bronchial and asthmatin attacks. All
these dangerous symptoms are entirely
cured by "Dr. Swayne's Compound Syrup
of Wild Cherry" The first dose gives
relief, and the worst cough and sore
lungs yield to its healing properties.
Sold BY all druggists at 25 cents and 81.
The large size IL the most economical.
The semi-weekly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1879-1882, 1881-07-21
MANsF1R1n pa Nav % 1878

MANSFIELD, Pa, May %, 1878.
have customer who has carried one
of Boss Patent Cases fifteen years and
knew it two years before he got it, and it
appears good for ten years longer.
The semi-weekly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1879-1882, 1881-07-21

The Freemason Presidents were /:
George Washington, Andrew jack
SOD, james K. Polk, James Buchsn.
an, Andrew johnson and James A.
Garfsld
The Presidents who were not Free.
masons weres John Adams, James
Madison, james Monroe, John @.
Adams, William H. Harrison, Zach
ark Taylor, Martin Van Buren,,
Franklin Pierce, Abraham Lincoln,
Grant and Hayes.
The semi-weekly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1879-1882, 1881-07-21

An Indiana carpenter is 50 temperate
that he will not use spirit level.
The semi-weekly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1879-1882, 1881-07-21

admiration Of the evening was the
costume Of Soft. Eyed Centipede,
cross eyed half breed maiden with a
complexion and a scar Of once fla
grant boil on the back of her neck
constituted her costume.
Old Goggle-Eyed Pestileuce wore
q gold collar-button tied around his
neck with piece Of brocaded bacon
rinde. His SOD, The-Prairie Dog
with stomach like grist-mill, wore
pair of red suspenders, but later in
the evening he removed them to show
that he was not Troud.
The bill Of fare for the evening re-
past as near as can be remembered
was:
The semi-weekly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1879-1882, 1881-07-21

The August Atlantic is specially
noteworthy as containing the first
chapters of "Dr. Breeu's Practice"
serial story BY Mr.. Howells, which
will continue through several num-
bers. 1t has all the charm of de-
scription and felicity of characterize
ton for which Mr.. Howells' best sto-
ries are distinguished, and promises
to be no less delightful than the ola.
dy Of Aroostook" Mrs Mary Hal
lock Foote, who is SO widely known
as Gn artist, contributes to this num-
Der the first part of story entitled
"In Exile" It is to be completed in
the September number. Altogether,
Atlantic for August, is thoroughly
interesting number. Houghton, Milf.
flo & Co, Boston.
The semi-weekly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1879-1882, 1881-07-21
Skin Diseases.
I Deem 1t Ny Dutv 10 TEL

what DR.. Swayne's Compound Syrup
Of Wild Cherry has done for me. I
had violent cough. night sweats,
sore throat, great weakness, with Sc
we're attacks Of hemorrage, gave up
all hope ofrecovery. I am cured,
sound and hearty man.
EDWARD II. HANSON.
Engineer of Sweeney's Pottery,
1884 Ridge Avenue, Philadelphia.
Over twenty-five years have elapsed
and I still remain hearty man.
The semi-weekly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1879-1882, 1881-07-21
WALTER A.BARRows

ATTORNEY AND COUNSELLOR At LAW,
Main street, above Water, Mount Holly, N. J
, July 8, 1S79-1y.
The semi-weekly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1879-1882, 1881-07-21
MEATS.

Antelope rare.
With or without hair on.
Jack rabbit with Indian turnips.
Giblets of Indian pony with Kerosene Oil.
Mysterious hash, with side whiskers.
Butter, with hair done up-French twist.
VEGETABLES.
Bunch grass Buffalo grass;
Sage grass with Vinegar,
ON THE OTHER SIDE.
Bay rum; Agency whisky Lingering
Death Rock and Rye; Bedbug
Exterminator.
The following are some Of the gifts:
Mrs. Ouray, tiu tobacco-box.
Antelope, tin nose for Shavauo.
Old-Goggle- Eyed Pestilencc, tin
horse with monogram.
The rairie-Dog -with-a-stomach-
like-a-grist-mill, tin oyster-cau, time
of Rembrant.
Soft-Eyed-Oentipede, tin cuspi-
dore, or cake.pan Ito be used as either
according to circumstances).
Space forbids full mention Of all
the articles presented by admiring
friends, but more enjoyable hurra
was never participated by more de-
lighted mob Of rustic inebriates than
the one mentioned. Shavano and his
estimable wife babe adieu with .raluc--
tance to their grateful and intoxica-
ted guests at late hour, while all
united IN wishing many happy ami
versaries to the ostensible husband
and wife.--BM Nye's Boomerang.
The semi-weekly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1879-1882, 1881-07-21
INTERNATIONAL REv1Ew.-The

INTERNATIONAL REvIEW.-The
table of contents for the August num-
Der of the International Review is in
viting enough to tempt the attention
and reward a thorough reading.
George W. Julian opens the number
with a most entertaining chapter of
"Reminiscences of the Thirty-irst
Congress-" the Congress which first
evidenced decided element of anti
slavery sentiment, and had Webster,
Clay, Calhoun, Benton, Cass, Dong
lass, Seward, Chase, Bell, Berrien,
Soule, Davis of Mississippi, Dayton,
Hale, Ewing, CorRin, Hamlin, Butler.
Houstan and Mason, Thaddeus Stew
ems, Winthrop, Ashmun, Allen, Cobb
ofGeorgia, Mcdowell, Giddings, Pres.
ton King, Horace Mann, Marshall,
Orr, Schenak, Stanley, Toombs, Alex
ander H Stephens and Vinton, for
members. The accomplished pen of
Mr.. Julian, who was himself mem
Der Of this congress, could scarcely
fail Of drawing interest from such a
theme The younger portion of this
generation will find much information
in the article which they can scarcely
afford to do without "College grad
yates in the ministry" is the topic Sc
lected By Rev. Charles F. Thwing for
an article of considerable interest and
value. Eugene L. Didier writes Of
an American Bonaparte" A valu-
able contribution is w. Fl. Phillips
"The Divorce Question" A slightly
metaphysical but exceedingly reada-
Bile essay upoa Rights" is contribu-
ted by David WATSON. An anony-
nous author tells of "Some Curiosi-
ties in Neurological Reckoning" and
the number is brought worthily to an
end by Celts statement "Why Ire
land is misgoverned." There is not
dull line in any one of the seven ar
ticles, and the number has never been
exceeded in elements Of popular in
terest A. s. Barnes & Co., N. Y.
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1881-12-22

Tho polygamists Of Utah have nc
good reason to expect any favois
from the new executive, rs he has
placed himselfupon record rs in fav
or Of the adoption Of the most
stringent laws anl their execution
against all who carry out the corc
rupt prastices authorized in the
Book Of Mormon. or supplements
that have been aided thereto in or
der to crafty the lower passions Of
the disciples anl upholiers Of the
faith, so STYLED.
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1881-12-22

All the school children in PITTS.
burg have been vaccinated.
A bradford ieweler has si0) ,c0t
h stock oi diamonds for tho holi-
days.
New developments Of slate havc
been made lately ia Northampton
County.
The wool hat makers OF i}rks
county send large numbers Of bats
to the Indian tribes,
TIE value OF the slate slipped
rom Northampton county last year
reached 100000.
Two months ago most OF tie
springs it, Northampton county were
dry =; now they are full of water.
Au eagle OF large size was shot
near Bellcionte last week II bad
been feeding on young turkeys.
The trial Of william Shouse. OF
Easlon. for stealing money, c1utafo-
ed in registered letter in TINT
oiiice bigGn Mondly in Pai!aI aIol-
pLih
Gardner Il Sons. car mnnnfactnr-
ers at Carlisle. owing to o pressure
of business, vero compelled recently
TO refuse an order 70. 1900 cars.
George p. Carr aged 81 years,
was drowned by falling into creek
near FuDklin, Vepago county, a few
days since, while drunk.
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1881-12-22

The young wife Of Senator Gamer
on has an interesting class iu the
Grace street Methodist church, oI
Harrisburg, who regret tue absence
Of their teacher so mauy weeks q
tho year at Washington, where hel
husband is attending upon tlliciaI
duties. She is represented as a
truly Ch. istian woman, interested in
matters that pertain to concerns OF
the present which lave bearing up.
on the future lifo.
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1881-12-22

Tho friends of protection can
readily see that President Arthur is
decided friend Of tariff which will
favor protectiog the general indust-
ries that properly require such act.
ion upon tho part of the gen eral
government. lic is decidedly mere
nutspoken aud decisive than Presi
dent Garfeld's position ho occupies
more decided protective grounds.
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1881-12-22
WINSTON, Forsyth Co, y. c

Gens-i desire to express To you my
thanks for your wonderful Hop Bitlers
| was troubled with dyspepsia for five
years previous 10 commencing the
Use Of your Hop Bitrers some six
month ago. My cure has been won.
derlul. lam pastor of the First Meth.
odist Church of this place and my
whole congregation can testify TO the
great virtues of your Bitters.
Ntr! respectfully,
REV. II. FER EBEE.
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1881-12-22

Alderman Tucker, Boston, says
you may state that have paid for
medicine aud treatment in 20 years
5000, without receiving permanent
benefit. Entirely cured of his disease
lsalt rheuml by Culicura Remedies.
Dec.
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1881-12-22
DArrLr CrrIK. Mich. Jan. 81. lsz

~
Gentlemen - Havlug been afflicted iol
II number Of years with indigestion
and general debility, by the advice OF
my doctor | used Hop Bitters, and
must say thoy ali .rled me almost in
slant relief lam glad TO bc able to
testify ia lhoir b,h..lf. THUS. G.
KNON.
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1881-12-22

II will pay every body TO cxamin,
the Immense Stock of Furniture fui
sale 10y the Popular Furniture maj
W. II. FELlX Lewislown Pa.