The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1881-09-02
ALL SORTS.

IOuLudt1 lS a IG14GQy AUEa 4ySR6pcAd.
Wouldn't hotel milk do just as wella
MADAM he gallantly observed,
81 have an image photographed upon
of negative impression of me, sup
pose.
Texas furnished forty Generals, thir-
ty-four being Brigadiers, to the Con-
federate armies. Mrs. Jane Mikell, of
South Carolina, has learned recently
that thirty OF the forty are dead.
Housekeeper: How can you tell if
an egg is bad? One way to tell is to
taste it. If it makes you so sick you
want to die to get rid of the taste, you
can feel pretty sure its bad egg.
Attendant Crying be civiD: Eyes,
miss, your feet are small what ladies'
aren't? But the skates-I never see
such small skates. think it would be
better if you changed with the gent,
I do"
A ssnotice to vacate'' in Arkansas
need not be served by an officer of the
law. The muzzle of shotgun stick
ing through front window is inyari-
ably taken as due and sufficient notifi-
cation.
Women are rapidly entering the
medical profession. There are forty
two women now studying medicine at
the School of Paris, three of these being
Americans. eighteen English, eleven
French, and ten Russian.
''How does this strike you?' asked
the lightning of the barn.-N r.
Ne,0s. ut is electrical, and very
sparklingr' replied the barn. But
as I'm down, please do not strike me
againr' --PhiLadelaolbsd Item.
Now the chowder's in the pot, and
the days are getting hot, and we all be-
gin to swelter with SWEET, SWEET, SWEET.
While the crimson lemonade through
a straw enchants the maid, who dis
plays a bunch of flowers at her belt,
belt, belt.
1t has been affirmed by DIR. Arnott
that no wave of the ocean rises more
than ten feet from the ordinary sea
level, which, with the ten feet its sur
face afterwards descends, gives twenty
feet for the maximum hight of the en-
tire wave
The man who invented the fifteen
puzzle is now making patterns for the
latest style of oil-cloths. The rumor
that he had been struck by lightning,
last summer was canard, published
by his friends to throw hired assassins
off the track.
A London paper asks: els this fair
bet? If l win, you are to keep me in
chocolate creams for year. Mind, |
like the pointed ones. If you win. I'll
work you something There is GER
tain vagueness about that something
though none as to the creams"
Baltimore and New Orleans are the
two cities that have placed value on
So,
railways. The latter has secured more
than 81, 200, 900 in two years, and the
money is used to extinguish the city
debt. Baltimore maintains its Druid
Hill Park from the same source.
There was young girl of Eau Claire,
Who was witty, and good, and seau faire;
All the other girls found,
That when she was around,
They were Just counted out as neau whaire.
There was an old darkey in Guinea,
He had big daughter named Muinea;
She fed curds to the COWS
And hay to the sows-
On! How could she be such nuinea?
Down in Salem the other day a
bright little girl was sent to get some
eggs, and on her way back stumbled
and fell, making sad havoc with the
contents of her basket. won't you
catch it when you get home, though?'
exclaimed her companion. No, In
deed, l WON'T" she answered; '.pve
got a grandmother"
One of Sir Edwin Landseer's pictures
recently brought at London sale the
sum of $14.750. The auctioneer re-
lated that while Sir Edwin was engaged
upon it Mr.. Millais happened to call
upon him, and the elder painter said
to the younger, Eff don't live to finish
this picture. you will do it for me-"
Sir Edwin did die, leaving the work
unfinished. and Millais completed it.
While the family of an English Of
fcer, Maj. Gen. Byers, were making an
excursion on the coast in the Leonbes
quarter, one of the daughters, named
Ada, slipped into the sea and disap-
peared. Two others, Lillian and Vio-
let, in endeavoring to rescue her, also
disappeared, and the mother who tried
to save her children, was likewise en-
quilted.
s'Why is it." said Chicago woman
to the proprietor of hotel at Boulogne
SatT la nae1, where she was staying"
that American hotels are almost the
only ones that supply their guests with
soapP" Pardon, madam" returned
the polite naaitre, IF supposed that
there was any danger of my guests
coming to the table with soiled face or
hands, should supply them with soap,
too"
We have rarely seen finer bit of sar-
casm than the following: A little Shell
byville boy, who is in the habit of say
ing his prayers before going to bed, the
other nj ght asked his mother, mann
ma, how long will it be before I'm big
enough to leave off saying my prayers
You never say yours, do youP" And
the mother said. Little boys shouldn't
ask so many questions. Go to sleep,
child"
Mrs. Mary A. Livermore states thai
one evening, twenty years ago, few
ladies, interested in the welfare OF
women, discussed the employments
open to the fair sex. They counted
eleven. and could think of no more.
Recently the same ladies repeated the
enumeration, and were able to point
out two hundred and eighty-seven EN-
ployments in which women could en-
gage.
President Eliot, of Harvard, is to be
thanked for keeping open free, this
summer, the museum of comparative
geology, the Peabody Museum, the
botanic garden, the Hemenway Gym
nasium, the university library, the
meteorological cabinet, the new Sever
Hall, and the Memorial Hall and Sand
ers Theatre, and the college buildings
and grounds generally. Moreover, the
museums are To no onened Sunday af