, 1881-10-16

distort their purple faces with frowns ana
scowls: whether they hug each other VIII
n,cased delight and true fraternal aftectloi'
mr. bita each others pug noses and pull eacn
others scanty hair. !.
'rhc pubiic will demand daily bulletins Oh
tha nroeress Of the little lives of the little
n,c;fcators. When it is reported that little
Garfield grabbed his nurslng-b bottle between
his gums and snatched little Arthur,s away
and that little Arthur tweaked little est-
fields nose, pulled his ears. and blt one Oh
his great toes nearly off, there will be gloom
in t1,e land from Maine to New Mexico. On
the o,ner hand, when the bulletin states that
little Arthur insisted that little GARFIELD
shnufd haye both ratties, and little Gartleld
insisted that little Arthur should have them.
showing a generous rivalry IN meekncss anu
self-sacritice, there will be rejoicing III the
mansion of The proud millionaire and in the
cottage Of the humble artisan and poor IA
horer. When there is peace in the domlcl1e
of the Chaplns there will be peace on the
hills. in the valleys, and on the pralrles
throughout all the dominions OF the great
Republic. But it war RACES between Inc
Chapin twins the white bird OF peace VIII
fold her wings, droop her head close her
mink eyes. and hide herself in the company
Of bats and owls. =
til a question whether Mrs. Chaplin has
not, in fact, "done what she could" to set
the whole country by the ears, for 1t IS as
suning too much to predict an unfh1ef~
rupted reign of amity in the double crib IN
the Chaplin mansion. If, now, little Garheld
and little Arthur should have simultaneous
attack Of the collie it is scarcely to be eX-
pected that they will cry "aeoo," and smile
at each other like idiots. while their little
bowels ache like the blue blazcs. And If in
their agony they double their little chubby
fists and make angry passes at each o1hers
eyes, and noses, and diinpled cheeks, anu
the fact is bui1etinetl, what will be tile effect
upon the Garfield and Arthur factlons
Perhaps they will fly at each other and make
vicious passes too. There is danger that
| Mrs. Chapin's experiment in Cancellation
nav prove to be two-edged sword. No
body will have the temerity to sugPest
doubt that Mrs. Chapin's. twins are ex-
traortlinary infants; but they are Ill
fants, liable to indigestion, collie, whoop-
ing-cough, measles. chicken-pox, and the
ricketts,, Then, too, they must be swathed,
bound, and tortured as all babies are-must
| be washed, and have soapsuds spouted into
their eyes, and be punctured by accidental
| pins, and to presume that they Will not re-
sent these mistortunes and indignities by a
| resort to all the arts of scratching, biting,
and hatr-pnl1lng is to deny to them the rights
Of Justice, to say nothing of the sweet prlvl-
| lcse Of revenge. =.
| It is to be feared that the estin'able and
| public-spiritcd Mrs. Chaplin has not taken ac~
count of all the Irritating circumstances that
| attend babyhood in offering her twins as 4
model of Cancellation and harmony between
| the warrne factions OF the Republican party
Doubtless the public in sDasm of gratitude
will demand bulletins of the twins progress.
Eut il it shall be reported some day that lit
| tie Garfield Chaplin has scratched one Of little
| Arthur Chapin's eyes out, and that little
! Arthur Chaplin has bit off one Of little Gar
| field Chapin's great toes, stern demand Will
| 70 up to the Chaplin mansion at Gllbert's
| Mills for the instant discontinuance OF the
bulletins.