The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1881-04-21
VOL e q
EAOETLH.

Noghlng but the summer
Now he sings Of winter,
OfWinter bleak and drear:
just because there's fallen
A snowflake on his forehead
He must 60 and fancy
'Tis winter all the yearl
T. B. Aldrieh.
II you want to make your sour kraut
UHd make him taste so schwset,
Kust put him in a great big bar'l
IND stamp him nit your feet.
Lives Of grocerymeR remind ms
They can make their starch half lime
And with sugar wholly blind US,
Putting sand in all the time
A Nevada critic, speaking Of q harp
ist, said, eve never before knew there
was 50 much music in a gridiron-"
Foreign intelligence that displayed
BY Bridget Just over. Domestic dis
patch--J OhEny with the hot buCkWheats.
Man is q curious creature. He finds
himself unable to live herewith one wife,
and then goes to Utah and lives with
half a dozen.
A medical writer asks: ''Does posi-
ton affect sleep?' Well, rather; if
you're hung up by your trowsers on q
spiked fence, you won't sleep very
sOundly.
Greedy grocer Ito farmer wife, who
! is supplying him with butter): "This
pun o butter is over Gcht, gudewife"
GudsWife: "Blame yersel, then; I
weighed it wi the pun o. sugar gat
frae ye yestreen."
An Alton, N. H., man has recently
moved for the eighty-seVenth time. He
is believed to have a more correct ap-
probation Of Hades than any other man
living, and certainly knows more swear
words than anybody else.-BOstOB
Post.
1t is worth q months salary to per-
suade boy that he needs an overcoat
The little rascal will run his hands into
his pantalOOns pockets to the elbows,
and chatter his teeth, and deliberately
tell you that he's 'si-i-iust as wa-a-rm.' -
-NeIJ HaUeH Comm Register.
''Men should not allow their wives to
split wood, says a contemporary.
This is rather incOnsiderate. How can
a man refuse when his wife comes up
WIN egeaAo IA ALIA anu Soy @NONf
do, dear, let me 90 down cellar and
split wood for an hour to get up an ap-
petite"
Uncompromising: The Doctors
daughJer-'I declare, you're a dread
ful fanatic, Mrs. McCizzOm. I do be-
lieve you think nobody viii be saved
but you and your ministerr' Old Lady
-''AWeel, my dear, ah whilst hae ma
dOObts abOot the meenisterr'-LOH6OH
Punch.
A South End teacher, in her holiday
vacation speech to her pupils last Fri
day, trusted they would come back
resolving that their behavior should be
unexceptiOnable, and that they would
give up all bad habits, when alittle girl
in the back of the room jumped up and
said "The same to you, ma an"
''My wife lost her pocket book with
fifteen dollars in it, to-day" said a sad
looking man. "When; going down |.
town or coming hOme?" asked some |
body. "WhenP Didn't tell you she |
had some money in it?'' demanded the |
sad-loOking man, and everybody knew
when she lost it.-BOStOn Transcript. |
''Ihe latest caprice is to have ones |
bedroom upholstery to match fine |
dresses, and china to match the bed |
room" This seems to be the right |
idea. The contrary is repUgant to an 4
aesthetic nature. When a sensitive /
man sees a neighbOr wearing one red /
and one white sock he feels a morbid /
impulse to break his neck.
It must be rather trying to be mare
ried to an emotional actress, to have |
her clutching you by the throat at 8
a. m, and shouting in a hOarse stage |
whisper, ''Slave, didst lock the kitchen !
door; the key, where is't, quick; I'll /
strangle thee; didst lay the milk pitch
er on the outer battlements; aye, me .
good lord, I'm mad. '-Nel0 York .
Commercial Advertiser.