The Pascagoula democrat-star. (Pascagoula, Miss.) 1878-1920, 1881-02-25
Lively Democratic Funeral Grafton.

[ -ef ""N ~ l'ttthSo
ton Immediately after the late
election. According to the Conn
ell Bluffs Nonpdreil, they bad the
biggest sort of time, with illunl-
inations, fire works, music aud
speechifying. After several repub-
iican orators, among them Con.
gresham elect Hepburn, had given
vent to their feelings with spread.
eagle speeches, the crowd called
loudly for Lou b. Cake. Cake is a
democrat, and the Nonpariel says
he looked too depressed to speak,
but the crowd would be put of, so
he mounted the box and made the
following unique speech;
"FELLow CITIZENS A man
usually attends his own funeral.
but 1t is not expected he should
talk a great deal. Laughter. |
know the funeral ceremonies would
not go on without me, so con.
cluded that it would be best to
bring In the body. Laughter.
But It takes a great deal of grace
to sustain a man who helps to iur.
nisb the corpse for IN occasion like
this. Laughter. Nobody but
democrat could doit. Applause.
1t is certain that no one save they
have had chance to Try it for the
last twenty years. lSbonts of ap.
plause. disappointment is the
modern democrats birthright. aud
mourning his normal condition.
They took out patent on disas.
ter twenty years ago, and it has
never been iniriuged. The patent
ran out in 1876, and they have just
got 1t renewed. Looking over the
landscape of the last twenty years.
| behold acres and acres of bursted
hopes, cords aud cords of dsgrun.
tied ambitious, barrels and barrels
OF unavailing tears, oceans aud
oceans strewn With the wrecks of
phantom ships once burdeued with
democratic d.lusions. Great ap-
plause Disappointment is an an.
chOr To the democratic soul both
surp and stpatlfust
Leaves have their time 10 fall,
And flowers to vither at the north |
winds breath, w
And stars to set, but all, o, democrat,
Thou hast at all times tor thine own
death
| might say with Shylock, 'Suf.
ferance, yea. suilerance is the badge
OF our tribe.' conld give yon 329 |
reasons Tor this. Laughter. A
lawyer offered judge sixteen rea.
SONS why his client was not present
in court. First, he was dead. The
Judge told him that he might omit
the other fifteen. The first reason
OF my 329 is, we lacked the votes.
You will allow me to omit the 9th.
er 1913. Applausive consent But
| could give you more than 329 rea-
sons. Yea, More-y letter, John
Kelley did il with his little racket.
[Great applause. Wade Hamp-
toms mule broke his leg instead OF
bis neck, aud Ben Hill wasn't born
a mule. English had foreclosed
his mortgages and we couldn't re.
deem. But, then
'Tis the South can supply
Solid comfort till we die.
In some States the grcenbaek
party tell through n crack in their
platform and crippled us. Laugh.
ter. But democracy still lives.
Great applause. It's like the
mule, it never dies. But untortun.
ately, like the mule, while it lives
it il forever throwing its ride.
1t bucked Greeley off and killed
him in 1872. Tilden stuck on until
be passed under the wire. ZAP
plause. But there was SO much
light between him and this demo.
cratic quadruped, the judgescount.
ed him off, although he had his feet
in the stirrups. This year We got
u splendid send off, and might have
won, but the donkey was stricken
down in lndi ,Da with the (g)Lan.
ders. Applause. We close this
chapter of history with the hope
that the story will not be continued
in our next. We accept the defeat
more cheerfully because OF the
magnanimous manner with which
you take the victory. We take it
every tour years. 1t is IA standing
prescription. 1t might well be
called the quadrcnnial ipecac. II
works up before the election, and
works down as the returns come in.
We thank yOn for the magnanimous
way in which you have turned out
to our funeral. VIZ congratulate
you upon the imposing aud mag
nihcent character of the obsequies.
Here the speakers feelings over
came him, and he retired amid en-
choring earthquakes and applans-
i've avalanches.
John Wilkes was once forced to
listen to u garrulous story teller,
whose nrOlixity wearied him. A