Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1881-04-15
Roland and Diana.

A wit among the students Of the
Rochester Theological Seminary has
contrived the following love tale, the
chief interest of which will be found to
lie in the assemblage Of words liable to
be mispronounced. Worcester's Die
tionary is the standard, the pronuncia-
ton first given in that volume being al
ways the one to decide. Let our
readers try this puzzle in orthoepy:
Roland and Diana were lovers. Diana
was tpEemeral but comely, hypochon-
driacal but not lugubrious, didactie but
lOt dishonest, nor given to rlbald or
truculent grimaces. Her pedal extrem-
cites were perhaps tritle too large fer
playing organ pedals successfully, but
her heart YVES not at all aaamantino, and
her address was peremptory without
being ditfuse. On the whole she might
well become the inamO.ata of one re-
tired to some quiet viciuago away from
tie Squaior aud clAnGor. The dia0nanca
aud contumely, OF Il great metlopo-
liz.
Roland, on the other land, was OF q
sa,ulEine countonancc, ut once spiel etlo
and combatige in disposition, 50 that
his waasaii3 and orgies were almost
maniacll in their details. tie YVES q
tclegruyher by profession, having re-
caiy. diploma from Caiu3 Cali2Re,
but agEgandized,his stipend by dabbl!ng
in pathology. orthoepy ana zooloLy
during his leisure hours, 50 that he WIS
accused Of fetichi8a and .ergiYeraa.ion
by his patrons.
Still his acumen anu prescience wero
such that only Iis0gy list would dis
Germ that he Was an aspirant for the
gallows. His acetic, rather than ascet!c,
nature apparently inclined him to visit
e chemical laboratory, we'll liied with
apparatus, to which lie had access,
whence he often returned with globu.es
of iodine and albumen on his caout-
choUc shoes, which subjected him to the
risk Of numerous alterations with hia
lan1iady, v;rago and pythonesa i'll one
and with the servant her accessory or
ally.
Roland had, however, become &C
climated to his place, received every
thing with equabili,y, reclined upon
the divan while he Contemplated the
elysium where Diana dwelt, and adj
dressed donative distichs to her in the
Suuslueuce Oh tue rili!cTE.
There WAS certain diocesan WHO e.
deavored to dispossess Roland in to-
affections of Diana, but he was cuerv
atel by bronchitis, gifts al
diphtheria, which on their subsistence
left his carotid artery in an apparently
lethargic condition. Hs had sent Diana
ring set with onyx, chalcedonic
variety of stone, and once hung
placard where he know she would see
it from her easement. but she steadfast
~ rejected his overtures, and ogled him
as if ha were dromedary. The do
ceasan betook himself TO absolutory
prayers, but continued his digressiona
and inquiries.
Roland became cognizant of this
amour and armed with witle it,
weighed him into kind Of assiguation
beneath jasmine, where he inveighed
against tins Gay Lothario," who le-
Tended himself with falchion until
Roland di5armoi hin, houghing his
palfrey withal. After the jouet tbs
prebendary abiaa - apciogized, albeit
in scarcely res prabie condition, then
hastened to the plarmacoutic's aelia for
copaiba, morphine and qUinile, ana
was not seen again until the next
Michaelmas.
Roland returned On Thanksgiving
Day, took an inventory Of his posses
sions, which consisted of large guam
tity OF almond cement, q package OF
envelopes, dish OF ancbovy sauce,
tame falcon, book on acoustics, g /
miniature of q mirage. treatise on TIE
epiz lotic, schumacher lined with !
sarcenet, q cayement OF sepulture, a
c4,inyer AMI ,omb.
Tie next a@y tue hymeuo,l rites ,..
performed, and Disna b9came thtn".
forth AIS inltAiUI Goa Ijat.ai 4ui "ou {
wife.