The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1881-11-25

y,
naturally, sensibly, truthfully, purely.
And don't use big words.
4 Professional Writer OF Love Letters.
Who would suppose that business
IA financial Acknowledgements ever made
of inlicting ematorv epistles for ''other
fellows, who felt themselves incofn-
petont to do the thing up IN proper
s.yIe? And yet this IS one OF the indus
tries of which Chicago eau boast.
A reporters attention was called to,
modest looking advertisement ANNOUNCE
ing that d gentlemen could accommodate.
parties who desired to establish a cor
respondence through second person,
who would keep everything private and
confidential. The reporter called on the
man. o -s,f
"What kind of letters do you write?"
asked the visitor.
"Any Kind, sir, any kind" answered
the man. 81 letters OF love, courtship
or marriage. And l also teach penman-
ship and the art of writing letters.
COZ course you keep everything Sc
cret?"
"Why, certainly, my boy, certainly.
What man tells me is kept as much
secret as though told to the dead. I'm
just like a physician on that, you
| know"
"Wen, pursued the reporter, 81 am
not used TO handling a pen, and do not
know exactly how to say things that
will sound tine-you understand-and
there is a young lady with whom L have
been keeping up correspondence
through a friend, who has done the
writing for me. and who is away now
and--what do you think you can do for
| me?"
That's all right, my dear sir. L
know Just what you want; and il there Is
anything l pride myself on it is the way
In which / can write TO the ladies. l.
know just what tickles 'em--just how to
win their love, or TO make cold love
warm again.
"Wel, said the visitor, "I don't
want anything warmed over, but would
! like to hear YOU read me Ii sample of
what you can do, and 10 know your
charges. -.
''Pll tell you what III DO. I'll write
You two letters week to the young
! lady, and charge you fifty cents apiece
for them. ALL YOU need to furnish me
will be the bare facts OF what you want
written, and the rest yOu can leave to
ne. Or can do the whole business If
it's only pretty letter that you want
written. I have q most vivid imaCln1-
ton, and o command OF Language Tor
love and the invectiye that Is certainly
wonderful. i am Spuituallst. and
those who know me best say that i write
with a mind from the spirit world-bnt L
don't claim anything OF the kind. My
charges are very reasonable and would
be more If did not make little money
writing in & railroad office.
but how about your sampies-cant
you read me one?"
"Well, now, here is one that / am
writing for a young man whose be-
trothed has been false to him. 1t is TO
be mailed tomorrow morning"
Here the letter-writcr braced himself
and read rs much of the letter as had
been written. 1t started out with
Dearest Carrie. and the reporter felt
convinced that when Carrie received ii
she returned to her old love. The rival
was referred 10 as ''liend, wiper,
"villain, " "brute, I" ''vile wretch" "des-
picabie interloper" and destroyer of
happiness"
The visitor listened to the reading as
if transported with admiration, and
slapped his knee with the observation
that the letter was a daisy. This fiat
tered the man, and he went TO u drawer
and 6shed out copy of a love-letter
covering eighteen pages. 1t was fear
fully saccharine production. Any line
would have done to sweeten cup ol
coffee.