Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1881-04-30
NO. lO2.
Strange Epitaphs.


Fashion changes in everything, even in
epitaphs. 4 few generations ago il was con-
| sidered the thing to put words in the mouths
of the departed and let them give moral lee
lures TO the living through their insnimate
tombstones. Warnings 10 the lookers-on
were quite matter of course, and Charles
Lamb. we believe il was, felt as IL he wanted
to tell the departed 10 mind their own busi-
ness when the latter declared so Confidently
| on the marble that the former must prepare
for death as i, was close upon him. Mot so
close as YOU think, may be, YOU bundle o
bones" said the indignant essayist. Disraeli
SAYS that men should not think Of death, hut
| of life but il has long been regarded a. wise
in man TO reflect much upon the fact that
life is short and death inevitable, and that
preparation can only come with much con-
| sdera,ion Of thi. solemn subject. There
used to be a hymn very popular at
| funerals which had line inviting men to
come and view the ground where they must
shortly lie, but this kind of melancholy poet
~ has given place tn another, equally touch
ing, perhaps, but more appropriate, as ii pic
lures the JOYS of eternity instead of the
gloom of the grave. and assures the mourn
ing friends that the parting is but for day
II hardly seems possible now, but there
were times when inscriptions upon tomb
stonee were made to tell ridiculous, and
sometimes disparaging things about the
sleeper underneath. Dan OiConnell used to
say that fair Interpretation of the Latin
injunction. DE No,feis MT nisi beaum, was,
''when d rascal dies praise him;" but
that did not seem to he the idea Of some of
the ancien, fathers who dabbled in cpitaphs
in England. The Rev. John Chest got the
following from some doubling Thomas:
Beneaih this spot lies buried
One Oh, Il within another.
The ches' was alt that's good
Who says so of the other.
William Wilton, who was buried at Lam
beth two hundred years ago, is said to have
the follow ing for his epitaph
Here lyeth the body of W. W,
Who never more will trouble you, trouble you.
And owen Moore got still harsher one in
this:
owen Moore il gone away,
OWN more than he could pay.
Though these are not complimentary, the
subjects of them are indebted to the epitaphs
for the preservation of their names, as other
wise they would have never appeared in print
at this day.
Epitaphs so awkward in their construction
as to be amusing are common. One in Wex-
am church-yard must have been written by
an lrishman. for il declares that
Here lies Ave babies and children dear
Three Mt Owestry and two here.
Such delightful bull could hardly be per-
petrated by an Englishman. Another states
that
Here lies the remains OF
Thomas Mlsolm, who died in
Phiiadelph a. March, f55;
Had h" lived he would have
iecn bu led re-.
The following is evidently English
Here lies father and mother and sister and g.
We all died within the s,.acc of one short year;
We be all buried nj wimble. except I;
And be buried here.
In the Newberry church-yard appears the
following, written, no doubt, by friend who
crioved the company of "John" and "Mary,"
and was disposed to give them due credit:
Here lays John. with Mary his brds--
They lived and they laugh while they was able.
And at last was Obliged to knock under he table.
Dryden is reported TO have written the
following for his wife's tombstone. For
tunately she lived to see better one upon
his own:
Here lies my wife here let her lie,
She's now st rest and 80 am /.
There are MANY bereaved husbands and
wives who never drop into poetry except on
the occasion of the loss of the partner Of their
JOYS. This was the case with Mr.. Shute. who
mmortalized his wife in this thrilling stanza ::
Here lies, cut down like unripe fruit,
I wife Of Deacon Amos Shute;
She died Of drinking too much coffee,
Amy Domny eighteen forty.
In Dickens last and uncompleted novel,
Edwin Drood," the bombastic auctioneer,
Mr.. Sapsea, is represented as having COM
posed this wonderful epitaph for the tomb
stone of his beloved wife
Befhelirda Reverential wife Of fIOMAs SAPSEA,
Auctioneer. valuer Real Estate Agent, etc Of this
city whose knowledge Of the world thoagh Some-
what Extensive Never Brought Him Acquainted
with Spirit More Capable Of Looking Up 10 Him.
Stranger Pause And Ask Thyself the Question. Canst
Thou Do TikewisoS II Not with Blush Retire.
The follow ing it is safe to say was not
written by any personal friend of the deceas-
ed. II was probably the work Of some indig
nant relation cut off without shilling:
At rest beneath this church. yard stone
Lies stingy Jenny Wynit.
He died ono morning just ai ten.
And saved q dinner by T..
Three lines On stone in st. Michael's
cburch-yard, Crooked Lane. may fitiy close
this chapter on graveyard literature:
Here lies. wrapped in clay.
The body Of William Wray.
have nothing more TO say.