The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1881-02-16

November, snowy; December, glowey.
Louisville Courier-Journ1
Water colors-so does whisky.
II should blush to shipper" is the latest
slang.
The only secret woman guards invioably
is her age.
have switches.
Cannibals are captive 'ating creatures
Steubenville Herald.
A Jail bird is one whose wings have been
clipped by legal process.
An industrious hen will not lay aside her
business on any pretext
Tuneful lyre-A music teacher who does
not keep his engagements.
Garfield rises at seven in the morning.
This is his idea of seven-up.
The church-going belle-the girl who
wears the tinkling bangles on Sunday.
A newly married man says this is the
scoldest winter he has ever experienced.
The butchers of Indianapolis are hand
some. That is when they are dressed to
kill.
Inquirer.-A heather is man whose idea
of God is different from yours.-Hartford
Evening Post
When a New York young man pops the
question he now says: Lets consolidate"
Boston Transcript
Old Nickelpinch says he has often seen
men buck the tiger, but for his part he
would rather buckwheat cakes.
An exchange says: when does lock get
ripe enough to pick?' As soon as the spring
opens of course.-Syracuse Standard.
The minister who divides his discourse
into too many heads will find it difficult to
procure attentive ears tor all of them.
OF miserly man somebody wrote: "His
head gave way, but his hand never did. His
brain softened, but his heart couldn't"
Curiosity Shop-"Oh, what a lovely vasel
It's antique, is it not?' mo, mann, it's
modern" what pity it was so pretty"
When a man married very large but
homely woman, some one at the wedding
said that he took her by weight and didn't
care for the workmanship.
Whenever young ladies learn so to stick a
pin in their apron strings that it won't
scratch a fellows wrist, there will be more
marriages. b. Anthony.
When Hays left Fremont for Washington
he lent neighbor barn-shovel. On his
last trip home he walked half a mile to say
that he should want the shovel returned
early in March.
An editor, the day after experiencing re-
/ ligion, wrote: THE storm last Wednesday
caused great d-age in H-ertOwn, Pa. A
man named G-dfrey was dangerously in
| jured. Puck.
The following advertisement recently ap-
peared in Liverpool paper: Wanted, by
young man of refined musical tastes, po-
sition of son-in-law in quiet, well-to-dC
family. Address," etc
1 A ~ a.
an art gallery said he preferred the statutes
to the pictures. because you kin go al
around the statoos, but you can't see only
one side Of the picters-
An exchange says it's very bad thing t.
get rich too rapidly. We never thought o
that before now here's another danger TO-
us to worry about and strive to guar
against.-Milford Journal.
1t Is perfectly right to speak of man.
magnificent dome of thought and Web
sterian brow, but when you speak of a red
headed gentleman as the man with tn,
gilded dome ten chances to one he will no
feel fiattered.
A Partisan enters q poor restaurant an:
dimes badly. In settling up he says to thu
owner: Dear sir, embrace me-" Hum
embrace your he says, in establishment
"Why, yes, for l really believe we shall
never see each other again."
Tim, want to borrow your black Sun
day pants to attend funeral" said one Gal
weston Irishman to another. And who's,
funeral is it we are so anxious to attind II
me black Sunday pants2' Your own, b,
dad, eff you don't lind 'em to me-
Jones (who prides himself on his beard r
"Can you tell me, Mr.. Hairdresser, why
have such an extraordinary fine flown,
beard, when neither my father nor grand
father had any?' Hairdresser (blandly)-
well, really can't say, indeed. sir-unles
you took after your grandmother"
A young girl attending Sunday -school saw
picture of Cain and Able in the lessor
book; she looked ut her teacher and said
Miss -, man dead" "Well, Stella, wha
killed him?" Don't know" said the brigh
young girl, run over by the cars, l sup
pose"
A country girl ut q fashionable hotel II
New York noticed that all the guests useS
their forks only in eating their pie. Upor
her return home she reported the fact 10 tn,
old lady who comforted her by observing
you shouldn't mind 'em Jemima; it's al
because they're too tarnal lazy TO use thei
knives"
A Galveston darby rushed into doctor,
office, and breathlessly exclaimed: Come
on, doctor, right of. Oar is somebody II
my house who rs IN an awful nX-la1d up N
a bed agroanin' and a-groanin'." WHO i
it?" ats me- Yer see, boss, didn't hal
nobody to send, 50 / come myself."-Gal
weston News.
Soon after the death of the poet Words
worth a man met farmer Of the neighbor
hood and said 10 him, "You have grea
loss" "What loss2" "Why, You have los
the great poet" "0h. ay," said the farmer
she is dead but hev no doubt L wife'l
carry on the business, and make IL as profit
able as liver II was."i
Foote was talking away one evening at
dinner-table of n man of rank, when, at tn,
point of one OF his best stories, one OF tn,
party interrupted him suddenly. with an al
of most considerete apology: IL beg you
pardon, Mr.. Foote, but your handkerchie
is half out OF your pocket" THANK you
sir" said Foote, replacing il. "you know tn
company better than do" and finished hi
joke.
Elijah Q. Allen Is very absent-minde,
man. A friend went TO Houston the othe
day, and when he got back Elijah aske,
him: GLOW Is old Major Bones coming on
Has he changed much Of later" Changed
II should smilel He has been dead NOR
than tkeaa xyao ru f.ost -.