Mexico weekly ledger., 1881-12-08

S
SPECTATOR, you would have needed
no doctor. 1t won't do to Joke grain
spectators or mules. We know
whereof we speak. Perhaps we are
a mule.
z thing of beauty is said to be A
Joy forever. See the wasp. He has
beautiful, graceful and accomplish
ed' stripes all around his body, and
half way back, and a sewing machine
needle for a tail. If the little boy at
the foot OF the class will pat the wasp
on the tail, he may 60 head and have
a chrome.
"Is this the day of judgment?'
Not quite; 1t is only the first day of
the month. Some folks have more
callers on the first day of the month
than they have on New Years day.
On the first day Of the month some
people have business in the country
others are sick at home: others hide
behind the door, or under the desk.
when the ''fiends" call. Some peo-
pie don't want to die if there are any
first days of the month lover there
1t is a bully good joke to have a big
ger bill against the caller than he has
against you, especially if he has any
money with him.
This is a bottle. What is in the
bottle? Very bad whisky. 1t has
been sent to the local editor. He did
did not buy it. If he bought it the
whisky would have been poorer than
it is. Little children, you must new
er drink bad whisky. Paragoric
tastes better, and the result is much
more sudden and happy.
V.
Do You notice that man sneakirs
down the alley? He is an editor.
This is the first day Of the month.
He owes the jeweler $1,000 for dia-
monds, or is keeping away from a book
agent. Would not you like to be an
editor and wear diamonis-in your
mind-and sneak down an alley in
reality?
Is this Il cannibal with hay OH his
horn, HAIR Oh his teeth and blood in
his eye? No; this a book agent. He
has just eaten his brcakfast-a raw
editor. He prefers an editor for
breakfast to quail on toast. 1t were
better TO never have been born than
to meet a hungry book agent. Maybe
you think We don't know what we
are talking about!
VII.
Is this a great, good and noble
being? Yes it is a doctor. Can he
cure you? Yes; Of any and every
disease-''unless your time has
come His skill will cure you, or
Gods will kill you. Do doctors adj
vertise? Not without q string is tied
to their advertisement. If you ask
them to advertise, they will paralyze
the atmosphere and pulverize you.
They do not object to your stating
in your paper free that DR.. SAVIOUR
iegoff %amputated a big wart for Hon.
Jasper Jaybird successfully, etc, but
Legitimate advertising is unprofes-
siOnal. We would hate to he a doc
tor, because when vi got sick We
would be afraid to cali in Il brother
doctor for fear he would poison us
out of jeaiousy-but doctors are bull
ly fellows. We refrain for fear we
might need one some day.
VIII.
This is not a Windmill: No. A
hand-organ? No. \ representative
OF a rag or paper pulp mill: No.
This is an acting Greenbacker-at
least a talking Grecnbacker. He is
loaded-with wind. He is posted on
finance, the relation OF capital to Ia
Dor, and all things pertaining thereto
in his mind. If the greenback party
had been in power. we would have
had good crops, money would have
been plentiful, and had an open
winter. There would be wood in
your shed and meat in your larder.
You would not owe q cent, and would
have money in the bank. Everything
would be lovely and the goose hang
high-a free goose. Everybody can
tackle the greenback goose. Come
up and have a feather. By the way,
we know a greenback goose, and he
feels as if he had been tackled by the
rest of mankind and a book agent.
His frame is like that of q turkey af-
ter 1t had celebrated Thanksgiving
Day. The Greenbackers will get in
power-aftcr the Democrats get
though. The Democrats will not
get through for sometime after they
get in, and don't you forget it. But
the Democrats can't get in till the
Republicans are through, and it APP
pears as though the Republicans were
Just getting a good start. Green
hackers who are not making arrange
ments to leave descendants, need not
bother about politics.
Speaking with reference to A. I.
Burbank, the great elocutionst, who