Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1881-11-12

must have been made up Of The odds and
ends that were LETT over. He was quite
sensitive about his appearance wlthal,
and wrote the following lines to ward oil
. the shafts of ridicule:
The carcass that you look al so
i not Sam Deacon, you must know
But IT'S the carr age-the machine
Which samuel Deacon rideth III.
Men DO as they please until they get
old and then when they can no longer
do rs they please they pretend to get
religious and 10 do rs the Lord pleases.
I 1t is q craceless thing to give the fag end
OF a used up lie to the Lord-to get re-
( ligious when it is the only thing left
which YOU can get. Such people are
ike the poor fellow who wanted solt
pillow for the night, and who thought
he could have one 10y stufiing a stone
jar with feathers.
4 very observing gentleman who had
lost tour wives, was closely questioned
by friend about such an alarming
casualty. The reason he gave for the
prevalence OF his misfortunes WAS quaint
if not entirely true. He said that he
was peaceful man, and meyer contra.
dicted the person with whom he lived.
A lively controversy, he went on to ex'
plain, is absolutely necessary to NO
mans nature. Under it she is stimu-
lated, and so long as it continues she is
happy ana healthy. When she isnever
Il
into decline and at last dies.
A preacher whose delight it was to
s.ar!e his hearers, said that there were
three things which woman shoIId
both be and not be at the same time.
First. she should be like the snail, al
ways keeping within her own house;
but she should not be like the snail
which carries all it has upon its back.
Second, she should be like an echo and
speak when she is spoken to: bat she
should not be like an echo, which al
wavs manages to have the last word.
Third. she should be like the town
clock and always keep time and regular
} itv; but she should not be like the town
clock, which speaks so load that all the
town can hear 1t.
Fra Roces. the celebrated but eccen-
tric preacher OF Naples, once scared his
congregation in the most beneficial way.
He preached tremendous sermon on
the inevitable consequences OF a sinful
lie. His hearers were in a CONFUSION
OF excitement with the blazing picture
OF a sulphurous retributiOn before their
Iimaginations. All at once he stopped
in the very midst OF an eloquent appeal
and cried out, Now, all OF you who
sincerely repent of your sins, hold up
YOUR hands, Every hand IN the as
semblv was up in an instant. The
preacher looked upon the scene Tor one
awful moment, and then addressing
| the higher powers exclaimed: hoIy
Archangel Michael, thou who with thine
iadamantine sword standest at the riSut
OF the judgement seat OF God, heW me
off every hand which has been raised
Theoretically" In an instant nearly
every hand dropped to its owners side.
1t seems difficult to produce in the
mind OF childhood any proper idea OF a
first great cause. 1t is apt TO account
for things in the simplest possible way
and is generally Plausible, though not
always correct. Little Marie, though
only four sweet summers tins side OF
her birth, had been taught to acknowl-
edge the presence OF Deity in everything,
but with that stubbornsss out OF which
the DOGMA of total depravlty grew, Sue
Insisted on putting her own tangible
efforts first aud unseen influence second.
When out in the garden one day digging
At the roots OF her flowers and watering
them, her mother said, Marie, who
makes the flowers grow" She maze
ior reply what q great many grown up
people are COncpited enough to ieeI, put
/ what very few care to say, mlspIaclnS
Aer pronOun and emphasizing herself,
well, mother, it's me and Goa that
makes them grow
Will the coming woman smoke?
Since the woman who has already come
INDUCES in that soul satisfying luxury,
the question pUSit W DCp 40 "'''''''
weak that she will yield any OF the
advantages she has won? Why should
all the good things of life be confined to
the men? The women whom you know
who smoke are not to be counted on the
fingers Of your two hands. e., OF the
women whom you know those who
smoke whether you know it or not are
to be thus counted. Even In the
religious community OF Ocean Grove we
saw the fragrant clouds ascend from
feminine as well as from masculine lips,
The ladies are not mummies who had
acquired the habit before the Deluge,
but persons so recently born that they
were even willing to confess their ages,
persons who will never be more than
five and twenty, and who will solemn!y
declare for tie next ten years that they
are exactly five and twenty. Ii 1t is
wrong to smoke then DR.. Crosby has
the opportunity to inaugurate another
crusade; if it is right, why should the
men corner" the tobacco market and
! put the fragrant leaf beyond the reach
/ of fair woman's hand? Ii we cant be
( generous in this matter let us at least he
/ lust.
Horse Lore.
Commissioners John e, Russell, Before the Far