The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1881-02-25
Twa Ola Phvsicians.

Two Ol0 PhysicianSs
The other night Drs. Snort and Blk.
ms, two of the oldest physicians in the
country. met at hotel in Cleveland
They were on a journey, and their meet
ing was accidental.
1--WE must occupy the same room,
insisted DIR. Snort. sit has been 80 long
since met an old-time doctor that the
occasion shall retain pleasant mem
cries.
Nothing would give me greater
pleasure" answered DR.. Bilkins. I" 1t Is
pleasant to meet a genuine physician
The two old men were shown TO
room, where, with bright fire, they
built an addition to an acquaintance be-
gun when Ohio was not regarded as the
great State of Presidential production.
"Thero are great many tricks In the
medical profession now, >" said DIR. Snort;
"these upstart doctors are killing the
people off ut a shameful rate"
at wasn't so in our day" replied DIR.
Bilkins ga boy 10 years OF age wasn't
engaged as a family physician then"
mo; nor there wasn't that jealousy
existing between doctors that you find
now. It's all right to talk about enter
prise and young blood, but doctor
should not be too enterprising."
After talking until the fire had burned
out, the two friends retired
Speaking about young doctors,
said DIR. Snort, 81 have always held that
the best physician is hewho has the age.
1t is all practice anyway, and l believe
that 5O-year-old doctor Is more reli-
able than one 40 years old
"Yes," said Blkins, "but after they
pass 80 it doesn't make much differ
ence.'
"Yes, it does. A 55-year-old doctor
is naturally more reliable than one 80
years cd.
"Now, here" said BiAxins, "you say
that just because I'm 80, and you are
about55."
"No, didn't think of the difference
in our ages. However, In our case it Is
different"
"Don't try to crawl out of it, doctor,
you meant it as an insinuation. You
can't pull the wool over my eyes, for
can doctor the life out of you any time"
"No doubt of it. Let's go to sleep"
"Sleep, the Deuce" said Blkins,
turning over. "Stir a man up and then
tell him to go to sleep! i want you to
understand that 1 stand higher as
physician than you do"
"No use to talk that way when you
know that / can doctor the socks off
you"
"That's the trouble. You can doc
tor the socks off anybody. / suppose
you are not aware that Bilsley tells it all
around the neiehbOrhood that you killed
his wife"
"See here" snarled Snort, "you are
too internal insolent for an old man. 1
never intended to say anything about it,
but know one thing concerning your
medical career that is blot on the pro-
fession. You poisoned Glaxon's child
cut of pure ignorance.
"You are rheuma attic old liar !" ex-
claimed Bilkins, springing up. "You
are wheeling old scoundrel."
"You old cArrion crow yelled
Snort, 81 wouldn't take that from my
father"
"Take your hands off. I'll punch
the life out of you. Take that" howled
Bilkins, as he struck the wall with his
fist.
Then they grappled, and began
mouth-to-mouth engagement They
Ioiioi out ol Deu, Bot up, Drucou, crap
pied and fell again. Finally the night
porter broke open the door, rushed in
and lit the gas. Snort stood in one cor
ner of the room, holding a chair. DR..
Bilkins stood on the bed with boot in
his hand
"Drive that mailman out |" ex-
claimed Snort. "He has been trying
to murder me-"
6" He is an old liar vociferated
Bilkins; she tried to poison me. Shoot
him. Call the police and let them kill
him."
Several men, disturbed by the noise,
entered the room, and the two old friends
were compelled to occupy different
apartments. The affair has created
profound sensation, and warrants OF ar
rest have been issued for the old-time
physicians. Cleveland Leader.