The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1881-11-24

WnlC0 ncaO.rlg over n0r gOlO0n CurlS,
and stood now bowling on every side.
"The great genius of the dayr' she
cried, gayly. "Father Thanksgiving,
my dearsn'-Rose Graham, IN N Y IN.
dependent. 7f4 Gf
The BumptiOus Boy.
It seems to be pretty we'll agreed
upon by domestic critics that tho boy
as s household institution is not an Oh.
ject of unalloyed delight, although he
is to be endured as necessary evil.
OF course that applies to everybody's
boy but our boy. Our boy is not the
ordinary boy at all. but hero born, an
incipient demi-god, the young St. George
himself-although the neighbors may
declare him to be st. George and the
Dragon too, since nothing in his path
is left alive.
1t is in boy-nature inevitably to be
active, leaping, laughing, living; the
growing bones and muscles will have
full play, the healthy lungs full cry. A
boy that is any sort of a boz must be
gay and noisy, and must make an at
mosphere Of commotion about himself
and his boots. his dogs, his toys, his
guns, or his want of all those and like
things. If he sat still and talked under
his breath, we should know something
was the matter with him. and expect
but poorly for his future; and so. if our
nerves are in to,erable health, and no.
body is really i'll in the house, we well
come all his racket and stir. and would
M nho thn
of his calling. and jumping, and run
ming, and whistling, and bouncing. and
slamming. and if other folks object to
him, we congratulate ourselves that his
affairs are none of other folks business,
and look forward to the time when they
will regret their inability to perceive
the greatness of the man that was
folded in the boy to await its-timely de-
ve(opment.
But this is merely the common boy
of North America, as Aunt Jane in
"Malbone'' would say-that is, only
our boy and your boy. There is some.
thing about this one differing from the
normal and generic boy. He is not
the evil-disposed boy, the bad boy. or,
worse than any of the others for daily
use and comfort. he is not the bump
tiOus boy. For of all things in family,
short of shrews and scoids aud bus
bodies, the bumptioas boy is the most
into!erable.
The bumptious boy is always several
years older than the family Bible reg
listers him, and he impresses the cir
cumstance upon you every day by
means of his sublime effrontery. While
you consider him the veriest youth, he
considers himself already man. and
as far as he can acts up to the assump-
ton. His tongue is in every dialogue;
his opinion is profered on every point;
his advice is forced upon you. whether
the affair he momentous or tritling.
He receives your guests for you before
you can do it yourself; he takes the
burden of their entertainment; he crit
icises the cookery with the air of DR..
Kitchener; he is gallant to the house.
maids, who humor him because it is so
laughable; he affects airs of society,
makes calls on amused ladies', has en-
graved cards it he can get them, makes
fuss about his linen; his correspond
den g becomes voluminous, and he is
overrun with occupations and en-
gagements. He apologies for appearing
to neglect you; he offers to do you serv-
ices with his superior facilities; he pre-
tends to the confidence of people that
he knows you respect; he comments on
their peculiarities too; he opens the
morning paper and peruses it, whether
his elders wait for it or not, and knows
all there is to know on politics, being
sure not to espouse his fathers side,
lest he be thought to take the ''old
man's'' opinions ready-made. He toss
es off glass of wine at table, when he
knows no one will like to dispute it,
and calls for another, to let you see
what a man he is. and what q head he
has; he swaggers into gentleman's
room and helps himself to cigars; into
lady's boudoir and busies himself
with her work basket, while affecting a
knowledge of the world that would
make her laugh in her sleeve il it were
not exceedingly offensive. He hints
darklv; he assumes to have had affairs
and experiences; if it were not unman-
ly to boast, he would tell you of many
women that are in love with him-with
him, just out OF his pinafores! He
practices for future love- making with
his aunts and girl cousins. and kisses
them in manner that makes their fin
gers tingle to box his ears dozen times
over, If it were not for their Christian
kindness in hesitating to amaze him,
and hurt his surprised feelings by re-
pulsing his affections.
In short. he is an urchin Just in his
teens, with an overweening and colos-
sal conceit of himself, who is a scourge
and nuisance, but who amuses every
body so much that he hardly kindles
lasting indignation, while the family
hope concerning him is that he may one
day have sen e enough to see what q
fool he has been.
You feel, nevertheless-if not 80
closely bound to him as to feel nothing
of the sort that the acquaintance OF
this bumptious boy is detrimental to
every other boy with whom he comes in
contact, and for the sake of the human
race in general, and of affording it as
little injury as possible, rather than let
loose upon it this hurtful species, you
endure his well-meant ins0lence. and
the liberties he takes, yourself, and long
for the years to como that shall put an
oMc ~ MO !OICu-PutsAu8 oaIe anu StnCeSs
and make him man, perhaps not any
the more disagreeable for having at the
early stage graduated in his bumptious-
ness, and cast it of with the things that
are behind. -Hayper's BasGv.
They have an airy way Of doing
things at leadville. When DIR. Nc
Gosh was there recently he wished to
60 down 9 mine, whereupon gentle
man in workman's dress grasped his
hand. told him he had once been a
Princeton student, and led the way
down his own mine; and before the
Doctor departed his new friend volun-
teered to create = fellowship ct Prince.
ton.