The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1881-12-27
MELp IN me KITcMEN.
Tho Experiences OF Lady OF Laramie
With Few OF Her DOmOsIiss,

with Few OF Her DOmOsIias.
Bill EyO'S boomerang,
II desire to advertise for girl to do gcn'
eral housework," said q Laramie lady 10
the business man OF the Boomerang yester.
day. II have had some little trouble and
annoyance during the past year, and would
like, II could, to got u good girl who differs
in many respects from those l have been
wrestling with. Last fall l heard OF good
girl who was working for q neighbor Of
mine, and went to work systematically 10
get her. found out afterwards that it was
u put'up job on me, and that the neighbor
wanted me to get the girl more out OF 70.
venge than anything else. The girls name
was Cleopatra, She wanted SCI per
month and the use OF the piano. /
was so sur0 that she was a good
girl that | engaged her on that layout.
Cleopatra had 80 many lovers that We had
70 move the sofa into the kitchen on Sun
days, and my husband and myself sat
around on the floor while Cleopatra wooed
tho festive mule.puncher, We wanted to
throw all the home influences we could
around Cleopatra, SO that she would feel
perfectly cheerful, and like one OF the fam
lily, She used to wear my dresses when |
was away, but when | asked her 10 let me
wear her wardrobe she seemed hurt, and
her whole system was Clurned up with
conyuIsve sobs. By.and.by my dresses
got kind Of shabby, rs the result Of contn.
uons wear by Cleopatra and myself, and so
she got disc0ntGnted and went away.
Then got nico girl from Nebraska; but
just MS she had learned to make pic TINT
would yield to the soitening influences
OF time, she married a man from Bit.
ter creek, who SO cross.eyed that,
when he wept the scalding tears would
roll down the back of his neck. then
secured girl from the old country. She
couldn't speak the English language flu.
emily, and so We didn't have very socia.
bic time Of It, When would tell her to
wash the dishes, she would generally black
the stove or bring In sCuttle OF coal
used TO pour out my soul to her sometimes,
and nsk her to contide in me, but she had
u fur away look, like II man who cannot
pay his board bill. Ono day ut dinner |
asked her to bring in the dessert, but she
didn't grasp my meaning, and through
some oversight brought in The disll.rag on
q tray. She used to wash the Childron's
faces with tho stove rug and brush their
hair with the shoe brush, and in that way
soon won their esteem md regard. One
day, while We were ut table, she brought in
the soup, and In an unguarled moment
stuck about seven inches Of her thumb in
the hot soup, in order to get a more secure
grip on the turcen. In the first impulse Of
coy and maidenly surprise she tlloughtless.
y dropped the tureen and soup in my hus.
bands lap. My husband. is q shy and
rather retiCent man, but he rose with
graceful movement to his full height, and
killed her with the carving knife and kick
cd her CORY remains under the table. After
the inquest | got holow.eyed girl from
Fort Collins. She was IN orphan, with
pale hair that she used to work i'm In
the hash. She was proud and impulsive
In her nature, and ate everything in the
house. We used TO hear her In the middle
OF the night foraglng around after cold pic
and fragments Of rich and expensive grub.
She had a singular yearnlng for jam and
an imprisoned longing for preserves that
we never succeeded in quenChing. When
the jelly and fruitCake gave out, she would
sadly turn her attention to cold ham and
mustard, with the smouIdering ruins Of
baked beans, and cold cabbage and vine.
gar We stood 1t till the groceries came
up so, and apples got to be seven dollars
and a.halt q barrel, and then we asked her
TO send in her resignation. Shortly after
that my husband made al assignment.
What | would like now is a good girl, not
so much asa companion and confidential
promoter Of financial ruin, but more to
wrGstle with manual labor In the kitchen
at SO much per wrestle and board. I'm
not difficult to please, but l don't want to
pay the same salary TINT the cashier Of
bank gets, Just for the sake OF having d
pampered mental in the house who doesn't
do enough work to drive away her ennui."