National Republican., 1881-11-21
LADY PHYSICIANS.
why II VIII Never DO to Call Them for
Very sick Man.

A st. Louis doctor-factory recently
turned out u dozen female doctors As long as the
female doctors were confined to one or two in the
whole country, and those were only experimental,
we held our peace, aud did not complain; but now
that the colleges are engaged in producing female
doctors MS n business we must protest, and in so
doing will give few reasons why female doctors
will not prove paying branch Of industry. In
the first place, IL they doctor anybody II must lie
women, and thrce-fourths of the women would
rather have male doctor Suppose those colleges
turn out female doctors until there are as many
of them as there are male doctors, what have they
got to practice on2 man, if there was nothing
the matter with him, might cal in n female doc
tor, but If he was
SICK As HORSE
ifa man Is sick he Is sick MS hOrsc), the last thing
he would have around would be female doctor.
And why: Because when n man has n female
fumbling around him he wants to feel well. He
don't want TO be bilious or feverish with his
mouth tasting like cheese and his eyes bloodshOt,
when the female Is looking him over and tnkinu
account Of stock. or G utse these female doctors
are all young and 90 looking, and If one of
them came in!o sick room where n man was In
bed and he had chills, and was rs cold wedge.
and she should SIT M close to the side of the bed
and take hold Of his hand his pulse would run up
to hundred and fity, and she would prescribe
for n fever when he had chilblains
OH, YoU CAN'T FoOL US
on female doctors, man who has been sick. and
had male doctors, knows Just how much he would
feel TO have n female doctor come tripping in and
throw her fur.ncd cloak over a chair. take off
her hat and gloves and throw them on n lounge,
and come up to the bed with pair of marine hlue
eyes, with n twinkle in the corner, and look him
out his tongue. Suppose Nc knew his tongue wns
cOnted so II looked like yellow Turkish towel do
YOU suppose he would want to run ont over five or
six inches of the lower part OF IL and let TINT tc-
male doctor put her finger oil 1t to see how fur II
was?
He would put that tongue mp into his check, and
wouldn't let her see 1t fOrtwcity- five cents ndmiS.
sion. We have oil seen doctors put their hands
under the bed clothes aud feel Of n mans feet tC
| see IL they were cold. IT female doctor shOuld
| do that II would give man cramps in the legs
| A male doctor can put his hand on n mans
feels any pain there, but Ii female doctor shOult
| do the same thing 1t would make man sick. aut
he would want 10 get up and kick himself for EN-.
poylng a.fcmalc doctor On, there Is 10 use talk
ing,
1T WOULD KILL MAN.
Now, suppose man has heart disease. and
female doctor should want to listen 10 the heatlnl
of his heart She would lay her left enr on his lcG
| breast, so her eyes and rosebud mouth would b,
| looking right In his face, and herwavy hair woulC
be scattered al around there, getting tangled Il
his heart would get In about twenty extra beats Il
the minute? You bet! And she would smile-,,w,
will bet $40 she would smile-nnd show he
pearly teeth, and the ripe lips would be workin,
| rs though she were counting the bents, and n
would think she was trying To whisper TO him
| and. Well, what would he he doing all thi
time? II he was not dead yet, which would be
wonder, his left hand would
| BRUSH THE HAIR AWAY
from her temple and kind of stay there TO kCe
the hair away. and his right hand would get sOr
| of nervous and move around TO the Lnck OF he
| head, and when she had counted the beats q fey
minutes and was raising her head he would drn,
| the head up TO him and kiss her once for luck.
| he was as bilious Us q Jersey swamp angcl-an
| have her charge II In the bill. And then reac
tion would set in, and he would be as weak as
cat, and she would have 10 fan him and rub hi
| head till he got over being nervous md the
make out his prescription after he got asleep. No
all of a mans symptoms change when temnl
| him dead,-pecks Sun