The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1881-12-27
A.CHRISTM1S CATECMISM.
Especially Gotten up for the Sunday
school Boys OF wheeling.


Who is this man? 1t is reporter. Has
he been to funeral3 No; he has not been
to a funeral he has been to church, What
has he been doing at church, He has been
thinking OF some new lie to tell about the
music. Why does he look so sadP He Is not
sud; he IS only thinking. or what is he
thinking? He Is wondering what to do with
his money. Has he much money! Oh, yes;
a great deal-for reporter; he has fifteen
cents which he found. Are all reporters so
rich? Well, no; not all; this one Is an ex'
Ceptional case. Do the reporters receive
Christmas gifts2 D. s.-but they give great
many things away; every reporter has u lib.
eral heart In this respect Where is the re-
porter going now2 He Is going into saloon
What is he going TO do in there2
He is going to deliver n temperance
lecture. Is the reporter q good
man? Yes, my Child-asleep Does the re-
porter know anything Everything, Does
he : print all he knOws2 Not by a-good
deal What Is the best thing q reporter does'
Lie about weddings, parties, balls and poo
pio. Is it light to lle3 No, 1t Is not right to
| lie, but it Is popular Is everything the re-
porter does POPULAR Well not everything,
but most things:
What Is the matter with this man2 lie Is
full. Is 10 very iull2 Chuck up How
came lie u be full? He has been celebrating
Christmas--It comes but once year, you
know. VIII he feel better tomorrow No,
ho will feel worse he will have swelled
head, Is II right to got full2 1t Is II you
can stand the racquet,
What Is the matter with this little boy
lie attended Sunday School Christmas Cele
bratiOn and ate too much candy, No. he ha.
not an aching void, but he is not void oil
aches, Does he attend Sabbath School regu
larly2 Not much; he Is found In the fold but
once year Willie be there next year
You bet. What becomes Of little children
who go to Sunday School only at Fourth oil
July and Christmas, and go fishing every
other Sunday In heyear? They Sometimesget
drowned, butnot often. They generally grow
up to DO Congressman or circus actors OF
Justices OF the Peace.
Has this other little boy also been to q
Christmas celebratiOn2 No; this little boy
has been To the matinee. DO you get candy
at the matineeP No; no little boy need b.
afraid getting too much luxuryat matinee
What do little boys get at the nlatinee2 They
get to give up their seats to nice ladies, and
go and lCail up IN the corner with the
umbrellas. Is II nice TO go to the matinee
Yes, II Is nice-iOr the ladies.
| 10 tuhb lhuH tlJlHB W VIZ tle lcka tObehucll
No; he is inebriated and the inebrlatcd stand
on slippery places. What makes him sol
Egg-nogg, What Is egg.nogg2 A compound
of milk, sugar, spice and rum-pleasng but
deceiving What does II do2 1t warns
things up and induces desire in the breast
Of the imbber TO paint things red.
WhS is this tired looking MANI This is q
postoilice clerk What does he do2 Moth.
Ing but stay around the Office twenty-five
hours out Of the twenty-four and get Cussed
by people whose Christmas presents do not
come. Does 1t not make the postal clerks
feel very bad to be CusSed2 No; itdoes not.
They arc used to 1t, and feel disappointed II
somebody does not swear at them every ten
minutes. Are they often Disappointed
Not very often. Would you like to be- n
postal clerk and wear blue Clothes2 No, we
would rather be one Of the public who cusses
them.
Who is this tall mani This Is dry goods
store keeper. Why does lie look 80 happy ?
Because flo has been selling umbrellas that
cost rs cents for $3.50.