Democratic Northwest. [volume] (Napoleon, Ohio) 1869-1894, 1881-01-13

Spoependyke's Burglars. =,
'Ssy, my dear calculated Mr.. Spoop-
endyke. sitting bolt upright in bed with
sudden jerk ;t'say, my dear, wake up!
I hear burglars in the house.
who? What burglarsg7 demanded
Mrs. Spoopendyke, as she popped up
beside Sher husband "Whos in the
'Hushi Quiet, win ye2 fdon'tknow
which burglar. but hear some one NOV
ing arcand. a n
:.Ohl niyl What shall we doy" in
quired Mrs. epoopendyke. .Lefs cover
up our headss' ~
"Why don't you get up and light the
gasT propounded Mr.. Spoopendyke in a
hoarse whisper. 'S'pose You can see
who it is in the dark Strike light
can't y@ If you had yonr way, we'd
both be Murdered in bed, Going to
light up before we're killed?' s
I'm afrade, whispered MIRA Spoopen-
dyke. sticking one foot out Of bed and
hauling it In as If she had caught fish
with 1t. x S.
Going tossit there like a shottower1
and have our threats cut?' intehrogated
Mr.. Spoopendyke. 'How'm going to
find burglar without aflight2 Find a
match and light that nieasly gas, now
quickp A . .lEI tIf \
;. Mrs. Spoopendyke crawled out OF bed
and hunted around for skirt.
: Whats the matter with yon?s Can't
you find match? Why don't you move?
hissed Mr.. Spoopendyke.
i amas fast as can, replied his wife,
her teeth chattering. I'msiooking for a
PIN III ~
oh! you're moving likesa railroad.
amt We? Inever saw anything fly like
you do All you want isto be done up in
white and blue paper to be seidlitz
powder. What dye want of pin? Go
ingto, stick. a pin in the burglar? Why
don't you light that gasT
Mrs. Spoopendyke broke half dozen
matches, and finally got light.
That's something like it, continued
Mr.. Spoopendyke. Now hand me my
pantaloons.' 4 81
you won't 90 down where they are,
wall your anxiously inquired Mrs. Spoop-
endyke, handing over the garment,
Mr.. Spoopendyke vouchsafed no reply,
butdonned habiliments.
Now you open the door; said he, and
20 to the head of the stairs and ask who's
there, while l. find my stick. Hurry up,
or they II get away
Suppose they are there. WhatI do
: rthenT .
Tell 'em I'm coming. Go ask 'em
win We? What's the matter with your,
Mrs. Spoopendyke opened the door
about an inch, squealed Who's therer
slammed the door again, and popped into
bed.
What ails ye?' demanded her husband.
tWhat dye think you are, anyway, a
conical shot? Get up can't ye and look
out. Where's my big stick? What have
you done with it? Sent it to school,
haven't We? Go out and ask who's there,
will ye, before they come up and slaugh-
ter Ius.'
Once more Mrs. Spoopendyke approach
ed the door and tremulously demanded
what was going on. There was no re-
Spouse, to her incalculable relief, and she
went to the head of the stairs.
tSee anybody, whispered Mr.. Spoopen-
4 dyke, looking over her shoulder.
who's therer squealed Mrs. Spoopen-
! dyke. Go right away, because my hus-
band ID here ',.e1
oh, you've done it, exclaimed Mr..
Spobpendyke, as he hauled her back into
thatoom. Now, how We s'pose I'm 60
inglto catch 'em? What do you want to
scare them away for? What'd you say
anT thing about me fors Think this is a
! nefninating convention? What made you
leave the house open? Come on down
with me and Ill show you how to lock
upb'
Down they went, and a careful scrutiny
demonstrated that everything was fast.
III don't believe there was anybody
There, 'sasd hrs. Spoopendyke, as they re-
't6rned to their chamber.
1T wasn't your fault, retorted Mr..
SpoopendyRe. IL you'd got up when
told you and kept your mouth shut, we'd
have got en-
But you said for me-
Didn't say anything of the sort? howl
ed Mr.. Syoopendyke-'never mentioned
your name. We might have been killed,
the way you went to work.
Ithink we'd caught them if they d
been there. said Mrs. Spoopendyke, TAX
ing down her hair and proceeding to put
it up again.
You'd caught 'ein! sneered MFR. Spoop,
endyke. All you want is some chloride
of Lime and your accounts short to be
penitentiary. Another time burglar gets
into the house you stay abed, and don't
you wake me up again. Iwon't have any
dod gasted women routing me out this
time of night, ye heart
'Yes, dear and Mrs. Spoopendyke
wound her hand in the collar of her liege
lords night-shlrt and went to sleep, secure
in his protection. Brooklyn Eagle
A Cough, Cold or Sore Throat should
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~ Fo Thirty Years.
For thirty years Wistar's Balsamof Wild
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generally. and in all that time there has
: not been single complaint made, but on