The Hickman courier. [volume] (Hickman, Ky.) 1859-current, 1881-01-14
HUMORs OF THE DAY.

A CELEBRATED case-Switzer Kase.
TALL soft hats supply long felt want.
THE bslloonisfss home is one flight up.
HELP us, CsssiaA cash Ms, or we
sink.
Be virtlous and you viii se-a curl
osaty.- Modern ArgO.
LovIN' cottage is moro onmon than
lovin the cottages mistress.
A CERTAIN grocer calls his scales fam
bush" because they lie in weight
SoAfE men are called mufs because
they are used to keep iirt's hand in.
The best of us are very apt to be
mealy-mOuthed about three times day.
THE deaf man who had a scolding wife
remarked, "Man wants but little hear
below. :"
THE experiment has been tried often
enough to prove that iack-knife is not
a night-key.
WELL, wife, you can't say ever
contracted bad habits" No, sir, you
generally expand them"
WHAT tree in the forest would be most
likely to be known by its bark ? We
should think the dog wood
The choir doesn't care so much for the
congregational singing. 1t looks opk for
the main chants. -Bosfoa Transcript.
"HE's an honest young man, said the
saloon-keeper, with an approving smile;
''he sold his note to pay his whisky
bill
Puck speaks of Western New York
man who cures all diseases by immersion
in cold water, and calls him a "canalo-
path. F"
EVERY man in ST. Louis owns dog.
The object is to increase the puppy
Boston Globe.
Il AN man of few words" said
Prendergast True enough" replied
Cog, "true enough: but you never tire
OF ~epeating them.
A A.,N writes to an editor for 81 " be-
cause he is SO terribly short, and gets
IN reply Ia. heartless response, '' Do as
l do; stand lra on chair.
/ An Ohio man has taken the smallpox
from pet pig. When once this disease
1 gets into a family r is pretty sure 10 go
/ through GdiUcSton NetCs.
You've clergyman al clerical meet
/ ing: merely throw ont the idea "
| Old minister: '' Well, L think that is
! the best thing You can do with it.
Ak Illinois exchange SAYS: Peoria
/ distIlleries are now feeding 16, $50 head
of cattle" And furnishing drink to as
many more, no doubt. "-Pccks Sun.
WOULD you like to look through the
big telescope p asked one girl of another.
To which the latter replied: ''No. I'd a
great deal rather look through key
hole
Mr.. EVER was married to Miss JOY.
The friends of the victims were shocked
when the press called her "a thing OF
beauty" because she was "a JOY for
/ Ever.
A NEWSPAPER commenting on the fact
that a farmer nearly lost his life by sink
ing in quagmire, adds: Men who dC
not subscribe for a paper must expect
to be sucked in every now and then.
WHEN you hear a yOung lady very
carefully say, Il haven't saw" You MAJ
be quite confident that she is n recent
| graduate from one of the most thorough
of our numerous female seminaries.
4 PUPIL of the Latin school being con
fined to his room by sickness, WAS called
upon by a young friend what
Charley" said the visitor, "sick, eh?'
Yes, was the answer, "sjc sum-
De BRANcAs was very absent-minded
He called one day at a friends house, RnC
| asked if he were in. g No. sir, replied
the servant, ''he was buried eight dayl
ago, and you were one of the pall-bear
ers."
WE'LL bet a cent that not a man who
| has blown out the gas and been suffo-
Gated during the past ten years, ever
took and read his county paper. Now is
the time to subscribe SteubenUiitt
! Herald