The Red Cloud chief., 1881-10-20

No candid man can examine the mod.
ern hs,-rsek without feeiiag that u 10
s.pticsbse only on the thecry OF ts de-
moniae.l origin. Indeed. the human
mind /. 80 constituted that IL lns;iscs-
iyely refers all the eontrvanres osicn-
ssbly intended for no ding hats 10 the
devil. and most ct rs woald erafess .
beliet ,hat the devil makes hAtraeks
dri we not fear the dersslon OF so-ea'lsd
philosophers Il !; reasonable to sup
rs-e thai ans human beng seriously de
signed for = good purpose The cofnoi-
nation o! brass rods which 10 70 be scea
! above the tables in certain rcstsur,nts'
O,;ensibly these rods are intended for
the Temporary storage of hats; but
when a man tries ~ pat his ha; On =
bras-rpi rsck IL inssantly falls dos1
aysin. and brings With i. two other hsis
and a pie Of newspapers. the furm&kof
which upset the caster. whie the latter
diHuse themselves over The butter aud
the beetsteak. Nothing bat; the theory
( Of the active infucne. OF evil spirits n
accom-, for this style of hst-rack. and
vet i, is really inferior in ingenious ma
liyuity 10 the common ha.-rxck OF pri-
yatc houses
Thi, diabolical contrivance ia always
placed in the dark corner OF the hall
q fact which shows that evil spirits are
concerned not merely in manufacturing
but in placing H. The consequence Is
thai the visitor gropcs for IL, N 50 do
ing infallibly knocks down the over
coats and hats which are already hung
upon il. When he is able To perceive
il with his eyes. he can find no salts
factory peg. The malicious manufac-
turer never fails TO make The pegs 50
short that to induce n hat to balance
itself upon one Of them j. a task requir-
iny both time and q eXterity. Not con-
tent with this. the manufacturer places
the pegs SO close together that II - nm
possible for two adjoining pegs TO SUP
port earh its own hat at b same time
The ordinary visitor learns this truth
only by sad experience. He persists IN
trying To hang his hat On the peg neat
to that which bears the hat OF the head
OF the house, and il is only after he has
Knocked the original hat down with his
own hat, and then Knocked his own hat
down by trying to restore the other 10
its original place. that he perceives the
fell purpose of the maker OF hat-racks
Only the ingenuity Of demons could
have combined an umbrella stand with
a hat-rack. The object OF this unhols
combination is obviously 10 tempt the
visitor to deposit his overcoat on the
protruding handles of half q dozen
umbrellas and ~ Inc prudent
man rarely attempts TO hang his over
coat on a peg. for he knows that in so
doing he will knock down all the hats.
Moreover. il is the practice OF the
satanic manufacturer to put in the peg.
SO loosely that the weight Of an over.
coat when Dut oil any n OF them will
pull it out. He therefore folds his over
coat up and laws it gently on the UNI
brella handles. Instantly these delu-
sive supports give way. A rafting
avalanche OF canes and umbrellas
strikes on the marble floor. and the be-
trayed overcoat gathers to itself all the
available dirt that has accumulated In
the bottom Of the umbrella stand. while
the startled and indignant visitor breaks
into language which might well ill
listening demons with tiendish Joy. sc
notorious has the character Of the COM
bined hat rack and umbrella stand be
come that wise men meddle with
it. but uniformly place their folded
Overcoats on the floor in n corner of the
hall. and put their hats on their over
coats.
Now. il we attempt to account foi
the hat-rack on any theory which ex-
cludes the supernatural. we make =
complete failure. 1t is in vain for us
to ask ourselves why men should make
an article of furniture that can accom-
plish no conceivable end except the ex-
ASPIRATION of mankind. The moment
we assume that hat-racks are the work
of evil spirits they become coherent
and Ineligible. Is it not. then. a pity
that the abolition Of faith in evil spirits
leaves Us without any method OF ac-
counting for the existence OF hat-racks.
and compels US to say that We do not
know, and cannot conceive, for what
purpose they are made'-N. y. Times.