The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1881-01-27
Tart&tu.
VARIETY SCRAPS.

10 step on mans corn goes against his grain.
Much as the monkey surpFs sses man in agility,
he can't run up bills as easy.
Landlords agents in Ireland are "men OF
mark
The tower OF Babel is the first continued story
on record.
Michigan has produced a pig With trunk.
This thing should be checked.
IfyOu want to appreciate the genius Of shaks.
pesre, put yourself in his plays.
The dancing master ia alwas taking steps to
Improve his business.
IttakeS an old woman we'll versed in herbs 10
give sage advice.
The girl who bangs her hair often makes the
wife who bangs her husbands.
An Irishmsn tells Of a woman who was 90
cross'eyed that she put her spectaces on the back
Of her head.
When you And yourself with your wife and
mother'in'law, to whom should you give your
arm.
A Frenchman says that the soul Of wine is al
Its top. 1t must be cork soul.
Love levels all ranks, but you can't love an
onion enough to level Its rank.
"sam, why are lawyers like fishes" II dom
meddle wild de tubjec' Pomp." Why, don't you
sect Cause dey am 80 fond Of debate.
There, that explains where my clOthes.lint
went to-" exclaimed an Iowa woman, as she
found her husband hanging In the stable.
Epitaph for q cannibal--"one who loved hi
fellow men.
The small boy soon grows tired Of new drum
There is nothing In 1t.
The man who Is under the weather should car
ry an umbrella.
The Emperor Of Brazil has translated some
Whitier's poems into Portuguese,
LET me see your paper a moment dear ??
Husband-"Yes, as soon as we get to the tun
nell"
Even the wisest Ia sometimes q fool For ex
ample. the philosopher who wore his spectaclel
when asleep that he might recognize the friendl
he might see In his dreams.
Two little birds started out to sing,
When foggy was the weather;
They cleared their throAts and whetted theil
bills,
And coughed and wheezed together,
They wheezed and coughed as hard as they
could,
In this dreadful ioggy weather,
Till they spoiled their notes and split theil
throats,
And turned up their toes together.
Mixed matters-Tom and Jerry.
It's the sculptor who "cus fgure."
It's not unfrequent that the differences between
men become striking.
Bad footing-that the incompetent book keeper
makes.
A kiss on the lips ls worth two on the cheek
That is, 1t is said to be-
Why is the ace OF spades like one man In fifty
Because it's one in fiity.:Wo.
"Tm going fast" as the prisoner remarked a
the Sheriff took him OF In irons.
"By hockey, I've caught a hShI' said the
small boy.
Non.committal-th school boy, and that's why
| tue mAbter spanked nlm'
funny spectacle Germany going back on thu
social List.
BeggsrS shouldn't be Chew.sirB, and yet many
tramp carries huge cake Of navy plug around
the country.
Abstract offices were invented for the purpose
Of making people sure Of their ground.
sausages are dog angels
Funeral Benevoence: "A dead give away"
There Is only one married Gtste-Mrs. sippi
The ties on which the rails OF business are lait
Advertise.
"Another bark gone down." he exclaimed, a
he threw his dog in the well.
The woman question-switch Is switchR
Passing around the hat is one way Of getting
the cents OF the meeting.
The soap makers watchword-- Where there's
lye there's soap"
A man wants but little here below-zero.
Locked up and the keys left on the inRlde-thC
pianoforte.
The seasick midshipman said they were hi
MILDLY evil days.
The good Samaritan stopped at the sound o.
woe; 80 does the good horse,
Marriage" says an exchange, "is a knotty
question:" Is 1t, indeed; but it's NICE
A kiss on the forehead Of some Of our modern
girls Is sort Of aalaam bang salutation,
The Wisconsin man is proud Of Milwaukee. HI
calls her the cream city and will not have any
but her.
Pixies Peak, In the Rocky Mountains hal
come out as first class volcano. In fact, Piket
Peak has spoken.
The latest thing in culinary styles Is the six
buttOped pancake with embroidery Of curran
Jelly on the back.
The most afflicted part Of the house is the win
dow. 1t Is always full Of panes; and who has moi
seen more than one window blind2
We are all OF us very like the poor ignorant
woman who, when asked II she had religion, re-
piled that she had touches Of It occasionally.
Have you cologne 7" she asked. mo, ma'am, >
replied the druggist II have no scents ct all. >
And abe said abe thought 20 all the time.