The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1881-01-20
NartGtU.
VARIETY SCRAPS.

VARIETY SCRAPS.
Cab stick, wooden spoon.
Gaberlunxle, a wallet that hangs on the loins !;
hence "GaberlunSe. man." beggsr.
Peey wersl, slckly In appearance
shangie, a shackle, or coupling.
Semitic, cautious, watchful.
To step on mans corn goes against his grain.
"D)ctor, what can do to get rid of ny bilious.
ntss?' asked a Galveston inebriste Of plain.
spoken doctor.
"Qlt drinking beer and whstey"
But If quit I'll collapse right off, won'tI?"
"Cerlainly."
TT don't seem to me that 1t makes much differ
ence, then. Il l keep on I'll be bilious ss long as
l live and If quit, I'll be bilious III hi l die"
"Well, you are the bggts goose ever saw"
said an uncultVated bnt honest Bcs oman to the
partner Of his jlys and s)rrows. And she, who
had the advantage Of public school education,
smiled upon him with yraphic smilea sac re.
marked, "0h, Hubby, you are such selt-fOrget.
full darling"
One of our go .ssy you. please poets, who was en-
tered In free.for all race, sent in to the judge
the fOllowinf epic beginning
10 all the lands the wheat q 9lds stand,
Golden ripe and fair to see.
And bending low the reapers go,
Swinging their cradles merriiy-
All but Rupert-why not he3
The Judge remarded Probably Rupert is In the
next field making love to the farmers daughter"
Whereupon he read no more.
LOVE OF MUsIc-The Glasgow people have in
recent years distinguished themselves for their
srong love for music, and the Town Council have
given every encouragement to the development
Of this eleVating taste, During the summer
months thousands Of people we're attracted to the
beautiful parks Of the city by musical perlorman.
ces, arranged by the Corporation, and the smuse.
ment thus provided had given great satisfaction,
and cost but little.
Mr. MCGUIRE Of a Kansas town, was elected
constable and the local paper which opposed him
said:
"Mr. Mcclure will wash himself before his as
sumes the office OF constable"
The notice maddened Mcclure and he called
on the editor to complain.
You object to that atatement2' asked the editor
II do" replied Mcclure.
Every we'll, I'll retract IT," said the editor, an
then he put In his paper the statement that he
wished to Tetract his announcement that Mr.. Nc.
Guire would wash himself before assuming Of.
fee, as Mr.. Mcclure denied the statement, and
even that retraction did II satisfy MCGUIRE, but
increased his wrath. Some men are hard to
satisfy.
rs oil A N nj
woman came to my Office suffering from rheuma
ttm in one knee. The knee was actually swollen
and she had been complaining for some time, and
on this particular morning 1t happened that some
brown corrugated paper was lying on the table
which had removed from some specimens Of
maltne and pcpsin that had been sent to me for
trial. She asked me what kind Of plasteIs thoso
were. told her they were patent corrugated
rheumatic plasters' that had been sent TO me for
trial, and II she wanted to try one Of them she
might The concluded to do so. Next day she
came back, and when asked her how she was
she exprersed herself as being great deal better.
She had been able to walk up stairs, the swelling
was gone and she declared 1t drew 30 hard In the
night that she had to take II of.
Mrs Cunningham, woman Of 1O2 years. living
at Mallet scheueCh, eight miles south Of Glasgow,
is said to be the only living person that has seen
the poet Burns. Her father occupied neighbor.
ing farm when Burns and his brother Gilbert
owned MoFsgiel and she repeatedly heard the
poet cracking jokes with her elder sister, for
whom he had q passing fancy. To this day the
good old woman "cannR undeIstan' what the folk
max sic wark aboot Burns fora lowse thrlftless
F.i1, "A In ~ 40 Mrs. 40 IN
is still hail in mind and voice.
THE WEAvETs OF PAISLEY - The Paisley hand.
loom weaver, with his sturdy Radicalism, is, we
regret to notice. rapidly becoming extinct, The
manufacture of the famous shawls is now regard.
ed even In Paisley as only old mans work There
are still left 9i6 weaveTs in the town /: but the
average age Of these workers is 4S1@ years. A
glance at the pathetic statistics lately prepared by
Mr.. John Mckay formerly the weavers' secretary
reveal that the rising generation has all but com
pletely deserted the once popular and lucrative
trade. OF the GAG weavers in Paisley, only 10 are
lads under 20; while SO are 70 years Of age or up
wares; 1872 are between 60 and 70 years 2A are
between so and 60 2I1 are between 40 and so, and
1928 are between 80 and 40 One other fact re-
mains to be stated. Greatly reduced in numbers
though the Paisley weavers are, there are yet too
many. A ninth part Of the $40 can fnd no EN-
ployment.-Scotcb Paper.
Who did the cannon.ade.
Edison Is the most promising man in the coun.
ry. He dosent make Light OF his promises either,
Fifteen conductors on a B ,sten street railroad
have Just been discharged for what the Adver.
tser calls misusing their bell punches.
Santa Claus is a rum old fellow, but there are
thousands Of Americans who, when they take
rum with fellow, prefer Santa Cruz
Eucalyptus leaves sprinkled In bed will make
d. as flee. 1t is merely question whether one
would prefer feas or eucalyptus leaves in his
bed
A Northern paper praises the Indian Hair Re-
storer" He is fraud. No Indisn was ever
known to restore any hair. He files it away as a
Certificate on which to draw ratons from Uncle
Sam.
A correspondent from India 10 an exchange