The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1881-01-20
HUMOROUS.

Q mistake ia his life never made any
thing else. - Cincinnati Saturday
Night
Denver has policeman who writes
poetry, aud the editor " ho refuses to
publish it is liable to go to the lookup.
-New Orleans Picayune.
= Professor Swift sat dowu sudden
ly on the pavement last week and
discovered FIVE new stars of the first
magnitude and three comets. on
City Derrick.
A travelling printer, who, Tor want
Of employ meut at his trade, went to
work on a larm, came in one d1y TO
ask Ills employer il hen should Be
set solid.-Er.
"Darling, Kiss Me Sweet Good
Night" Is tho latest song. One
young mau gang it in the presence oi
his girl the other evening, aud just as
sbc was about to act 10 accordance
with the words o! the song her dear
papa put 10 appearance and filled
the youths coat tails full Of boots.
A lover, who was slighted by the
females, very modrstly nskcd young
] dy, "if she would let him speud the
evening with her ~ mo" she an
grily replied, "that's what won't.
"why," rcI lied he, "you needn't be
30 fussy | diud't mean this evening,
but some stormy one, vhou l cant 80
anywhere else
A Michigan boy ate bar Of soap
on a wager and then drank II lot o.
soda to take tho taste out of his
mouth, and the way he spouted suds
aud soap bubbles for the next half
hour bafiled the skill OF fourteen
doctors, who mad'y performed about
him, not havinl bccu informed Of the
cause If tho lads suffering. They
are at loggss heads now Ogi what To-
call the case.
A New England editor, despairing
Of becoming millionaire ON a sub
scripiiou basis of turnips and stove
wood, throws up the sponge with the
remark that at don't pay TO run u
Paper in a town where tho business
men read almanacS and pick their
teeth with the tail Of herring
The newspapers are wondering
who will take General Sherman,
place il he leaves the army. We
don't know who will, but we know
who would like to. Address, with
return stamp, or call ia person at
this Office. Same old number.
Climb up ill you faint, aud then
walk along a dark hall til you smell
thunder. Enter boldly, aud ak
without fear for the military edi,o-.
Don't you dere TO trugn poem wit
yu.-Burlingtoa HaUkeye.
A few months ago an old gentle
man was seen mailing up anItiao on
a fence on The south side of Calves
ton avenue. A friend, passing, said
"Why don't you havo the notice pui
in the paper, where people can read
It? "Waal, ii tick 1t to the
newspaper Office them newspaper lel-
lsrs would got il spelled wrong, aud
then somebody might think 1 didn't
know how to spell" said the old
gentleman. Tho notice read /:
"iowze. fur rent inchoir ON preymey'
sis.
Il Big Mouth --Boatswain Of nm
ocean steamer to seaman, who seem-
to be hunting for something: "Well,
what are you looking TOR r.
"For pail.'
"what do yon want for pail 7"
81 want to vast my face"
"Ob, open your mouth and you
won't have any face to wash !''
"a kiss" SAID young Charles, sis
q noun, We allow but tell me, my
dear is IL proper or common T.
Lovely Mary blushed deep and ex-
claimed "Wby, / avow, think
kiss is both proper aud common
"Bub, did you ever think p said a
grocer recently, as he measured ou,
half.peck OF pc,atoes, THAT thes'
potatoes contain sogar, water aou
starch ?"
"Nos, ] didn't" replied The boy
shnt \ bpard mother aay you ma