Daily Republican., 1881-03-10
MxRrn AND MERRXnENT.
The Cream OF Hu Wftaaofsnli
by Fellows of Infinite Sest.

The Cream OF Observation-Disclosures
i by Fellows of Infinite Sest.
FRIENDLY DISCUSSION.
Several nights ago Rev. Mr.. Mulbury,
Pfesby terrain minister, and Rev. Mr..
Sassafras Swing, Methodist circuit rider
stopped at hotel in Little Rock. The
two men had union meetings together
and were friends. They agreed to 90.
cupy the same room, and when they
had been "shown up" pleasant con-
versation on the general welfare Of the
Church was introduced BY Mr.. Null
bury.
"Yes," said Brother Sassafras Swing,
placing his feet on the round Of the
chair, and beginning the work to re-
moving his shoe, "it is good for the
preachers Of differ nt denominations
talk to each other"
at advances the cause" replied Mr.
Mulbury. 1t moves the Gospel car with
more certainty for ministers toexchange
ideas.
"Mr. Mulbury, why is II You alters
say WluihtcIb! Auu 8AI 0oh0noA VI
preacher, are your"
~ say ministers because 1t is correct.
I was taught so at college to speak cor
rsstly, and intend to do SO all the
time"
"Petsr the fisherman didn't have no
such foolishuess."
"No and Peter could not present. the
Gospel so eloqusntly and fselingly %
Paul"
"Paul might have had more book
lsarnen' but whom you struck him on
the subject Of horse sense Peter was a
captain. have said it many and
many time, and expect to say it
many times more, that never rubbed
my back aud head agin any college
wall"
That's intended as aing At me-"
said Mr. Mulbury, emphaticaity. Any.
body conld discover the fact in few
moments, Mr.. Swing, that you never
rubbed your head agaius: a college
walls."
81 can preach all around you, all tho
same"
"You conldn't preach a genuine ser
mon to save your life"
swell, I'll just bet you 1900 bun
dies Of fodder and young better that
| can preach the socks right of Of you,
ind don't you forget it. I've rid cir.
cult too long to be bullriggsd BY q
school-house top-knot."
| Mr.. Nulbury's face flushed. He
looked at his companion for moment,
arose and said:
81 dislike to use violent language,
but allow me to say that you are an
old liar"
Brother Sassafras Swing sprang 10
his feet, kicked HIS shoes out OF the
way, showed up his sleeves and ex-
claimed:
~ didn't want no truck with you,
but you Lave raised my bile. Cut your
capers."
| The two men Owed at each other.
Mr.. Mulbury jammed his thumb in
lSwing's eye and exclaimed
"Hs that hath eyes to see let him
see."
Mr.. Swing reached around, ssugh.
Mulbury's ear between his teeth, and
mutteYed:
l. "he that hath ears TO hear let him
ear"
The porter heard the racket, rushed
into the room and attempted to sepa-
rats the men, but Swing bit him on the
leg.
Finally the clerk and two drummsrs
rushed in and dragged the men into
the hall.
"rhe uneducatsd brute ~ painted
Mr.. Mulbury.
"The school.house top knot |" putfsd
Brother Swing, 81 can fan the ticks
of him any time"
1t has been considered better not TO
take the case into court.
pIsoRDARLY TIME.
81 want to make complaint against q
disorderly house," exclaimed an OK.
cited individual as he rushed up to .
Detroit policeman on Michigan avenue
yesterday.
"Whsre is ite
"I,'s saloon ON the next block"
"what can you prove %
"Provei Why, l went in there and
asked for drink"
"Wellf"
Sand l got it,"
"Yss."
"But when went TO pay for it
found that had lost my wallet. I told
him I'd 90 out and borrow the money,
but he got mad and went for me-"
"Well, is that all your prosfr
"Anl Not by . long shot I've
had my left eye disordsred. I've had
my front teeth dissrdered. Ny nsse 10
disordered half an inch out Of line, and
this ga suit Of olethes wouldn't bring
% At an auction. We disofdered the
stove and two chairs, and II you can't
make dissrdsrly house out Of all this
you'd better get out Of that uniform I"
"I've brought this Thermometer
back" said . down town man as he
threw the instrument on the counter
Of q hardware store. "There isn't q
member Of my family that can tell the
time Of day by 1t, and guess the
the things run down. Nhasn't tucked
solitary once since I've had II. Don't
you have any keys for em 2" and be-
cause young woman who was buying
q pair Of scissors snickered, he turned
red In the face and left the store. NUT
tering something about new tangled
ideas being nuisanoes.-New Haven
Register.
EXAMINATION IN NRpIsINB.
(By Philadelphia diploma cheap doc
tor ...
Rxaminer-Where is the stomach Of
man located
Ssudent-Somswhere between the
crown OF the head and the soles of the
feet.
Hs