The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1881-05-28

Ao lOHbi say . cCh OuIi, dS Ite I6-
male doctors were ontined 10 one or
two in the whole country, and those
were only experimental, we held our
peace and did not complain but now
that the colleges are engaged in pro-
ducing female doctors Is business
we must prU. st, and in SO doing will
give ssfew reasons why female doctors
will not prove paying branch OF IN
dnstry.
In the first place, If they doctor any. :.
body 1t must be women, and three
fourths of the women would rather
have a male doctor. Suppo. Q these
colleges turn out female doctors until
there are ~ many OF them as there
ere male doctors, what have they got
to practice on A man, If there was
nothing the mat er with bin, might
call in female doctor, but If he VAS
sick as horse lif "a man is sick he Is
sick as a horse,) the last thing he
would have around would be female
doctor. And wny9 Because, when
man has female fumbling arounl
him he wants 20 feel welt. He don't
want to be bilious or fe, ,erlsh, With
his mouth Ia sting like cheese and Ia 8
eyes blood-sho., when The female is
looking him over and taking account
OF stock.
OF course, these female doctors are
all young and good looking. AMI If
one OF them came into a sick-room,
where man was in bed, and he had
chills, aud was AS cold as wedge,
and she should sit up close to The side
of his bed and iake hold OF his hand,
his pulse would run up to $50, and
she would prescribe for fever wnen
he had ch.lblains. o., you can t
fool us OH ieuiale doctors. A man
who has been sick, and had male
doctors, knows just how much he
would like to have a female doctor
come tripping in and throw her fur
lined cloak over chair. take oil her
hat aud gloves and throw them on a
lounge, anu come up % the bed with
a pair of marine blue eyes, with
twinkle In tue corner, AMI look him
in the " lid, angeable eyes, and ask
him to run out bis tongue. Suppose
he knew his tongue was coated SO it
looked like yellow Turkish towel,
do you suppose nc would want to run
out over five or six inches of the
lower part OF it and let that female
doctor put her finger OH il to see how
furred ii was !? Not much. lie
would put that tongue up into his
cheek, aud wouldn't let her see 1t for
twenty-five cents admi-s on. We
have all seen doctors put their hands
under the bed-clothes and feel OF a
mans feet to see ifthey were cold. If
female doctor should do that il
would give man cramps in the legs.
A male doctor can put his hand on a
mans stomach, and liver, and lungs,
and ask him if he feels any paill
there but If female doctor should
do the same thing IL would make a
nan sick, and he would want to get
up and kick himself ior employing
female doctor. On, there is no use
,alking, 1t would kill n man.
Now, suppose man has heart dis
ease, and female doctor should want
to listen to the beating of his heart.
She would lay her left ear on his lett
breast, 20 her ey es and rosebud mouth
would be looking right in his face,
aud her wavy hair would be scattered
al. around there, getting tangled in
the buttons of his night shirt. Don't
you suppose his heart would get in
about twenty extra beats 10 the min
ute ? You bet! And che would
smlle--we bet $40 she would smile
and show her perly teeth, and the
ripe Ii ps would be working as though
she were counting the beals, and he
would think she was trying to whi>-
per 10 him, and. Well, what
, would he be doing all this time ! II
he was not dead yet, which would 10
a wonder, his left nand would brush
the hair away from her temple and
kind of stay tn re to keep the hair
away, and his right hand would get
sort of nervous and move around to
the back of her head, and when she
had counted the beats few minutes
and was raising her head he would
draw the head up 10 him and kiss her
once for luck, ii he was as bilious as
Jersey swamp angel, and have her
charge IL In the bill. And then re-
action would set in, and he would be
a weak as a at, and she would have
| TO fan him and rub MS head Till he
got over being nervous, and then
make out his prescription afer he cot
a,leep. No; all ofa mans symtoms
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