Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1881-01-14
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"YoUNe ladies have the privilege of
saying anything they please during leap
year, she said, cycling him out of the cor
ner Of her eyes with a sweet look.
His heart gave great bound, and while
\ he wondered if she was, going to ask him
the question which he hao so long desired
and feared to do, he answered stYes.''
\s'And the young men must not refuse, -
sad she.
ssNo. no! how could they ?'' sighed tho
y0hngu man.
'sWen, then,'' said she, twill you take
He ell on his knees and said: "Any-
thing ysu ask, darling"
''Waii till get through. VIII you take
walk and not hang around our house so
much?f
He walked.
ssSeehere." said fault finding husband
to his wife, 1--WE must have things arranged
in this house SO that we shall know just
where everything is kept
"With all my heart" she sweetly an
swered "and let us begin with your late
hours, my love, I should dearly like to
know where they are kept
He let things run On as usual.
s'Papa. didn't you whip ma once for bit
ing little Tommy" Eyes, my child; you
hurt him much" swell, then, papa, you
ought to whip sisters music master, too;
he bit sister. right on the lip. and 1 knew
it hurt her because she put her arms around
his neck.
A transcedental preacher took. for his
text, Feed my lambs.'' AS he came out
of the church plain old farmer said to
him, sThat was very good text; but you
placed the hay so high in the rack that the
lambs couldn't reach it, nor the old sheep
either"
SHOW are the stairs2" said the lady to
house agent; mot steep, hope" ''Steep.
madam? [ should say not. It's the east
est staircase ever saw in NY life. Why,
it's SO easy that when you're going up
you'd swear you were going down."
At an inquest on man who had been
drowned the policeman giving his evidence |
was asked by the corner, it means had been |
taken to resuscitate the body. "Oh, yes,
sir; we searched his pockets"
An Irishman, who was very near-sight |
ed, and was about to fight duel, insis- |
ed that he should stand six PAGES nearer to
his ANTAGONIST than the other did him, and |
they were both to fire at the same time.
A woman was drowned the other day |
while being baptized, and if any para
grapher rings in heary pun about the
deceased dying of dip-theory, he should be
severely talked to-Norristoeon Herald.
Jones thinks man is fortunate who has
his will contested after his death only. He
says his will has been contested ever since
he welded Mrs. j.
The heat of genuine affection can find no
more glowing expression than that OF the
rrishmau who said. ''Arrah, me darlin', l
wish was in jail for stealing ye ~
Maiden iadys quotataSion slightly alter
cd from an old aphorism-}' Where single
ness is bliss tits folly to be wives. Rome
Sentinel.
Married life reaches the acme of happiv
ness when woman can eat crackers in | :
bed without any complaint from her hus-
band.
A man has no remedy for his hair fall :
ing off. A woman can always use hair I
pins, and keep on as much as she likes. n
When you wake up at night and hear
,he baby crying, look out for danger, for 81
here's rock ahead. +
One Bottles has been elected TO the Leg 81
stature Of Texas. He was the nominee of 2
|. j ONT cork us.
The ancient maiden who deferred her / 8
roposition of marriage last year Wll have Ell
lr. chance.