The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1881-06-18
MRS. JOSLIN'S BURGLAR.

She bowed her fourth caller out po-
litely and hurried upstairs with an I'M
usual degree of alacrity; for she was a
very social little woman, and generally
had at least dozen things to say to her
friends after the more formal adieux
were over. This afternoon, however,
she was preoccupied in manner, and
when at liberty bounded to her rooms
like an elastic cord suddenly loosed
from long tension. Her mother OBJ
served her unusual manner, and, follow
ing her, came upon her suddenly and
found her engaged in novel work of
reconstruction.
She had an entire suit of her hus-
bands clothing, and at the moment of
her mothers entrance was just complet-
ing her work of art by securing fur
tippet underneath countenance manu-
featured of charcoal on groundwork
whose ghastliress made it something to
remember.
She had just fastened the bristling
beard in place and drawn back to gaze
somewhat admiringly at the result of
her own handiwork when her mothers
sudden exclamation surprised her.
Augusta Joslin! what are you do
ing?"
"Making home attractive" said that
lady, demurely; then she sat down, not
gracefully in a chair, l am forced to
record, but dumpily on the floor, and
dropping her chin to her receiving
hands-you all know the attitude-she
gazed attentively on her Knight of the
Mustache.
"Won't it be FUNNY" she said; and
then she explained, but not so definitely
as will be necessary to acquaint my read
ers with the existing state of affairs in
Mrs. Joslin's family.
She was a nice, CHEEKY little woman.
The heart of her husband reposed in her
so entirely that he never thought it nee
essary to spend all his evenings at home
to see to her. Indeed, the largeness of
his liberality in this respect was some
thing more bountiful than Madame Au-
gusta was prepared to enjoy. She would
have been more than happy could she
have had larger portion of the society
OF her liege lord. His intentions were
doubtless of the very best, but he was
the creature of circumstances to Won
derful degree, and it filled his wife's
brain with amazement, and her heart
with grief, to learn how many friends he
had who were liable to be taken sud-
denly ill, and in consequence, to REQUIRE
his fraternal care for the night. Then
there were lodges and various other de-
vices to waylay unsuspecting husbands
and keep them from their peaceful
homes.
After due consideration of all these
facts, our little madame resolved upon q
plan, whose efficacy she was now about
to try. After she had built her man
she allowed his comely figure to repose
on the floor until the gathering dusk
should permit her to station him jus
outside of the door which opened on {
second story veranda.
She then attached small, strong core
to the door-knob, let the end pass to tn,
floor and thence to another room, wher,
dinner-bell was attached, and thel
back to a point from which she coulC
control it from her bed, her intention be
ing that the same movement whicl
should ring the bell should also open tn,
door and reveal the burglar.
With these preparations completed
she went down to tea, with but it'll
hope of meeting her husband, as it wa
not his habit to trust himself to her so
ciety at that hour unless willing t,
spend the entire evening at home. Fo
three successive nights he had left he
to loneliness, and entered at an hou
when most she wished to sleep. And a
his entrance was not always noiseles
one she could not have done so had sh