The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1881-11-03

An old fellow whose daughter had failed
70 secure q position rs teacher IN cons
quence Of not passing an examination saia
@Thcy asked her lots Of things she diGh
know, Look at the history questions
Tbey asked her about things that happened
before she was born! How was she gong
10 know about themY Why, they asked
her about old George Washington ana
other men she never knew! That was
pretty sort Of examination !'-Ne" lof"
Post.
Mr.. Batazct, Of Montreal, swallowed q
sbarp-poinfed willow stick that he nad
been using for . toothplck, and after rev
weeks il inade It's appearance in the cai OF
his leg. Upon being dug out it was iound
that the pick had begun to sprout. we
earnestly trust that such warning may not
pass unhecdcd by persons addicted to the
Swallowing al wllking-sticSs, canes, UNI
brellas. paEsois, and other spoutaDle or
sproutable artieles.-Nelo Toric CONNER
cial Advertiser.
II Is getting to be the fashionable thing
for expresses, queens and noble ladies
generally TO write books. They have one
GREAT advantage over cOmmoners: they
can send hostile reviewer TO a dungeon
as one of the necessities OF CIVILIZATION
Ne,o York Commercial Advertiser.
Alta trial OF criminal ease the prisoner
entered plea Of "not guilty." when one
Of the jurymen at once stood up. The
Judge informed him that he could not leave
until tbis case was tried. "Tried, repeat
ed the Juror in aStoniShment; ".why, he
acknowledged that he is not guilty y
ETchGnge.
4 bright little seven-year-old girl was
visiting the Athenaum recently. when
she saw the Venus dc Milo, with the large
card attached warning visitors not to touch
il, she said: "' Hands on! uumph'
anybody can see that !"-PutSte!d Jour
nal.
An exchange thinks it always seems
Wrong at wedding that the bride cannot
marry the "best man." Oh, no. She
marTies the groom. If there was a coach
man present 10 doubt she would marry
him. It'sall right.-NeC York Commercial
advertiser.
A lady called at a drugstore where they
also kept books, and inquired OF one Of the
firm: "IIavc you 'Grote's Greece :"
" No, mum; but we've got some excellent
bears Brooklyn UaiOa-A'gltS.
The report that the French visitors TO
the Yorktown centennial went into 4 rail-
road-station restaurant the other day and
called forrailroad ''frogs" is an infirm con-
trivance OF the foe.-AOTiSt0Wn Her0ld.
Howgate committed so many iorgeues
while in the Signal Service that it is not I'M
likely much OF the weather pissed of on the
people was bogus and foul.-Nep orleans
PicQyne.
The only man we know Of who doesn't
want the credit for the work he docs is the
burglar. He is quite willing that some
other fellow should have the name OF doing
his work.-BOSt0n Post.
A coroner's verdict reads thus: "The
deceased came to his death by excessive
producing apOplcXy in the minds
OF the iury."-Erchqage.
The helmet hat, which is worn by the
Boston policemen, is said to weigh sixteen
ounces, and is therefore good for
Orleans Picapine.
Westchester-county clergyman prayed:
go Lord, help us in our attempt to climi-
nate Thy word" He thought eliminate"
maant to explain. Y0rb Sun.
Loan and trust associations ought to be
popular. 1t isn't everybody that will loan
and trust, says the Brockton Enterprise.