The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1881-05-19
Jones and the Baby.

1T seems to nc, said Jones to his wife,
who was walking around the room, with
the baby in her arms, that woman makes
great deal Of unnecessary fuss about put
ting child to sleep. Now, | would chuck
him into bed, and let him squall 1t out
1t seems to me, said Mrs. Jones, quietly,
that all men arc born idiots
Jones couldn't, FOR the life Of him, see
what the fact had to do with putting the
baby 10 sleep, but he wisely held his
peace.
The next evening, Mrs. Jones came
into the sitting groom. where Jones was
reading the market reports, and said:
L am going down to mothers after that
recipe for yeast. Baby Is asleep, but, if
he should wake, presume you could put
him to sleep again-men arc 80 handy with
babics'
'All right! III put him to sleep in less
than no time; run along my DEAR SAID
Jones, cbccrfully
Mrs. Jones vanished, and Jones resumed
his paper.
Soon after his wife's departure, Jones
heard a little premonitory grunt from the
vicinity Of the bedroom.
'Hulol what's that 2 exclaimed, Jones,
as lie assumed a listening attitude.
lie soon found out, for the juvenile men,
Der of The Jones family set up series of
ycils that would have done credit to a
prma donna.
Jones dropped his paper, rushed into
the bcdloom seized his offspring. and car
lied him wrong end up back into the sit
tingroom.
The suddcnness Of the attack. and the
unusual position, 80 astonished his baby
ship that he forgot to scream for q few
seconds, but when Jones righted him I'D,
and offered him pair OF slocYc-buttons for
playthings, Johnny shut his eyes, opened
his mouth, and began again with rencwcd
vigor and determination.
Jones abandoned the sleeve buttons. and
tried to "cuddlc" the baby I'D after
the maternal fashion, but baby stcrnly re-
fused to ''cuddlc;" and, with degree of
energy for which Jones was wholly I'M.
prepared, and which ovinccd a, total lack
Of respect for the 'author Of his being -
Johnny grabbed the patcrnal whiskers with
both hands and howlcd louder than ever.
Jones released himself, smoothed his
cherished whiskers, deposited his heir on
the sofa, rctreated to safe distance. rub
bed his face carefully, smiled in vague
Ni'iN Va "hJt 40 IL hC NluIl u KNOW CX-
actly where the fun came in, and wonder
ed "what tho dickens Maria would do un.
der similar circumstances
Baby put his fist into his mouth, and
looked as if he wondered what his pacrnal
ancestor would do next.
There, now,' exclaimed Jones, i'm
menscly relieved, he is papa's pity title
sonny, 80 he is.'
Sonny, promptly resented this by a
long drawn yell that struck terror 10 the
soul of his dismaycd parent.
Jones was at his wits end He grow
reckless. lie whistlcd to that baby; he
sang; he made faces; he cut series of an
tics that would have driven ballet. dancer
mad with envy; but all to no purpose. Baby
had evidently taken contract to furnish
so much yell in given time, and was
bound to 40 the square thing.
When Mrs. Jones returned, she found a
MISUNDERSTANDING man wandering
around the house. with baby on one
arm, while with his discngaged
hand he wiped the pcrspiration from ha
manly brow with the tail end Of the baby's
night dress.
1T seems to me. remarked Mis-. Jones,
as she took the baby, that mon make a
great deal OF unnecessary fuss about put.
ting baby to sleep. Now, L.
The front door closed with bang
Jones was on his way down the street to
see man.
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