Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1881-12-28
FIRESIDE CHIT-CHAT,

than you-that's all there is to it." wrote
New York wife, on leaving her husband.
AN aesthetic young lady tells us that
sour apples are the ones disappointed in
love. Isn't that sweet p hiladezohao
San.
"GossP, says the Queen, sis the
patent sign of vulgarity in heart and
mind. It is as thoroughly vulgar as Gu
riosity."
New YORK fashionables complain of
the poor quality of wedding cake. A
paper comforts them by saying that no
sane person ever eats it.
NOTHING is prettier than the cards an
nouncing the birth of a child; and yet
an exchange mentions them as bawl
tickets.
The President, vice president, and
secretary of the treasury are all widow
ers. What place Washington must be
Tor pretty maidens and widows, to be
sure.
The New York Commercial Advertiser
honestly believes that 'smany men pass
through life without having ever known
the peaceful serenity, the sense of com
fort, the calm enjoyment of dining in a
claw-hammer coat.
A LEADING merchant of Louisville, re-
fused to buy a sealskin sacque for his
daughter. The next day she left the
house, and found employment as SER
want. She says she will not return
home until the father yields to her de-
mands.
WOMEN are not half SO shy as men. A
woman will go to a. dry goods store and
buy all sorts of toggery of male clerks;
but not one man out of a thousand will
buy anything but visible articles of at
tire of female clerk.
HE catholics of Brunswick, Me-, had
fair recently, and a ring worth 81 was
to be given to the most popular girl.
There were two candidates, one pretty
French girl, who saw signs of being de-
feated, and drawing all her money, $3.50,
from the bank. she bought enough votes
to carry the day.
In recent suit before a Justice in
this city, lady reluctantly testified that
she thought that another Newark lady
might be good enough neighbor if she
lived in a locality where the houses were
25 miles apart, and was so crippled that
she couldn't come over to gossip or bor-
row.-NeaUGTk Call.
A Boston aesthetec, having invited a
young man from out of town to meet
''two minds" on q certain evening, he had
to decline her invitation on account of a
previous engagement "to meet four
stomachs." In his opinion "pairs " were
not equal to 'tfour of kind" although
we.don't suppose they know what such
language means In cultured Boston,
DelrO&t Free Press.
A SOCIETY young man of Cleveland is
quoted as saying: "The girls Of this
city are coming right along. [ know
five young ladies'; three of them live on
Prospect, one on Euclid and the last on
Clinton Street, who can play just as hard
games of poker, exercise as good judg-
ment in betting cards and understand
the relative value of hands precisely as
well as any five young men could
name"
A YOUNG lady in New York who was
accosted by well-dressed man in an in
sulting manner, accepted the offer of an
old woman, who was grubbing in an ash
barrel close by, to "cover him with
ashes for ten cents" The biped was
pelted with handfuls of ashes, covering
could escape. The old woman was re-
warded with a quarter by the young
lady, who remained to witness the opera
ton.
"THEY say" is a most Objectionable
form of expression, and one that has
caused as much misery as any dozen
others put together. Scandals and hurt
full stories always begin with they say"
if any one is anxious to worm secret
out of another, the chances are they will
begin, "they say" Now who are
"they2" In nine cases out of the "they"
are entirely supposititious, and in the
tenth " they are unworthy. The world
would get on much better if "they" were
extinct.-NeaU York Mail and Express.
THERE are doubtless many cases in
Chicago, and more elsewhere, that have
never come to light, similar to that re-
Gently tried in the Chicago courts, in
which girl brought suit against drug
gist for selling her cosmetic that ruin
ed her complexion, disfgured her fea
lures and ruined herhealth. The sale of
these poisonous compounds is unrestrict-
ed, and no one knows the amount eff
damage done, because the sufferers have
too much pride to confess their injuries.
The best cosmetic is cold water and fresh
air, and there would be more beauty in
the world, and more charming COM
plexions, if nothing else were used
Chicago Inter- Ocean.
One of the young army officers re-
Al 4h/ ;to1 hos oo1,o
ing home in the west end, presided over
by fair, blue-eyed wife, whose head is
crowned with masses of red gold, and
whose dainty toilets would never sug-
gest convent; and yet she was once
religieuse, member of one of the COM
munities established by the Episcopal
Church to look after its orphan children.
She was devoted to her little charges
and they to her, and never dreamed of
other cares than those of the "home;;"
I H. L L