Connecticut western news., 1881-07-06

"comit," and talks about might blooming cerius." Go little eesier, nsighbor, and it won't be 50 hard on your i's.
 A Thompsonville factory was shut down three days, on the 4th, according to report. This enabled the operatives to get sober enough to go to work on the 5th.
 The appearance of two bicycle riders, and the comet, furnish Thomaston with excite ment although the Express says that local news is like angels visits scarce.
 William Shaw and Helen Shaw were mar ried in Lakeville last Saturday at the house of Daniel Shaw. Oh pshaw, Shaw, why did, n't you break tho monotony little ?
 A Lltchhsld base ball club was licked by Washington club recently, which was quite disappointment to them. Five calves have died within few days at Litchfeld.
 The foundation for the new railroad depot at Thomaston is completed, which is about all the Thom astopians have a reasonable right to expect for some time to come.
 Harry Hover, New Hartford boy, got pony to throw him down and maui him up the other day so he wouldn't have to bring in any more wood and water for spell.
 Thomaston talks" of having band stand in the park. So does Canaan, but "allee samee" they let the band stand in the middle of the dusty road to give open air concerts.
 A Middlebury lady said recently, "When God managed the weather, could tell some thing about it, but since Vennor has taken the matter in hand can't tell anything about it."
 John T. Pearce, who was editor of the Newtown Bee at the time it was like the Irshman's flea (when he got his hand on it it wasn't thsre) is making hats in Bethel shop.
 Winsted crows search the pockets of scare crows for stray kernels of corn, and 'old Rye" They are the only inhabitants of that harmonious borough that don't take kindly to a ''club."
 Harlow Spencer, Winsted bachelor, was presented with good eel of meal last week, in the shape of an eight pound eel, taken from Otis pond. He preserves the skin for future reference.
 Constable Belcher of Danbury was danger ously assaulted by six Italians the other day. They won't stand and see the tail of an or gan grinder monkey pinched by nobody, and don't you forget 1t.
 A Roxbury correspondent said last week: ''There is nothing said about the 4th of July yet. " Good gracious man, where have you been for the last two months? Don't you read the Pittsfeld Journal?
 The Chronicle says: "A slender, striped worm three. quarter of an inch long has just appeared as a potato scourge in, Danbury." Why don't you kill him, man. before he has chance to do injury
 The Bethel Ledger has just celebrated it's seventh birthday, and notwithstanding it oc- casionally bristlss up on its dignity when it's fur is stroked playfully the wrong way, it is wide-awake, live paper.
 A large willow tree fell in Sandy Hook the other day, smashing some small out-buildlngs that stood near it, and falling directly over the spot where some little children had been playing moment before.
 Twelve silver buttons worn by North Ha' ven man were made in l744, and he says that their original cost would now amount, in principal and interest," to SILICA. if it had been invested at that time.
 A team ran away in New Milford last week, and the Gazette says that ''the driver ham, dled his team with his mouth in 8 very able bodied manner" That Erwin does get off some of the funniest things.
 Barber D. K. Colepaugh of Falls Village has sold out to "Newt." Williams of Gt Bar. rington, and will hereafter improve the straight and crooked paths of the villages round about, with tar and gravel. A New Haven boy while walking on the ! railing of bridge recently, slipped and I fell into the river where he drowned. These bridge railings ought to be made wider, so that boys could play base ball on lem.
 John Portsr's wife of Newtown eloped last week with Chas. Platt, first selling her hus- | h. nd's cow for funds to pay travelling ex. Da- .. Nr Porter has the sympathies of | AE,o of kIo
 the community, h. '1e 'o'0 VI 'i0 'o"'
 A Bridgeport hen recently D. Np'" ~ 0fSs tbs and matched out 16 roosters, whereupon 'ns bald headed, side whiskered Eagle, seeking whom he may devour, flaps his wings and pounces upon those chicks, for an item.
 An aunt of Gen. Sherman, living in Brook. l field, has just won suit against Daniel H Stone, Brooklyn minister and lawyer aged 84 years, who defrauded her out of $l,2OO while acting as her attorney some time since,
 According to the Winsted Times, Miller ton man whose description suggests man of about conductor Cummings complexion, ''don't know beans" as he has stuck up his bean poles in his corn hills, with view, no doubt, of raising succotach.
 Alfred E. Moore, young sport of Winsted got into an altercation with one of the opera l tives in his bolt shop, named Frisbie, the | other day, and struck him with an iron bar, knocking him senseless and injuring him SO SC. riously that he was obliged to lose some days. Theodore Jennings, Ridgefeld lunatic tried to kill himself by diving into well re. gently, but as he went in head foremost he couldn't kick the bucket. so he shouted to his friends to come and haul up the remains, and the suicide is postponed till the next fair day. CoEo 4l cent bad weather has destroyed the potato bugs, and adds that it teaches us that the plans of Providence are far more efectual than those of men," She forgot, however, to mention that the potatoes were destroyed along with the bugs.
 Hen. Ayres of Salisbury has bought a building lot and will put up house soon When it is completed it will be one of the best places in this region to go and spend an evening, and be entertained by Henry, whose talent for joking, story telling, lying, singing and dancing entities him to the claim ot being the second greatest show on earth
 The audacious Windsor Locks Journal man is hereby respectfully but firmly" in formed that there are no Canaan old maids who are dying to get married, and we would n't dare say so if there were, for fear of a Ire. traction" We're awfully afraid of retractons. However-but is Cheney brunette, with good vision, and can he "dahnce the lahnciers ?"
 William Green of New Milford heard a noise in his horse stable the other night, and on going out to see what caused it, he saw a man running from the barn, but although he gave chase, couldn't catch him. He found bis horse loose in the barn, and the harness on the floor, and but for his prompt appear anoe on the scene, he would have had one horse less to buy oats for
 A boy in Waterbury last Wednesday ran against the latch hook of a gate in such a | way that the hook was driven into his nose -haro if olipchad araipot tbn bopo o,d 4,,,x