Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1881-03-29
CURRENT ITEMS.

OcedSlonaiIy we come across the an
| nouncement Rare Works of Art. Does
this imply that the productions mentioned
are not we'll done ~ Boston Courier.
They say that recently General Sherman
is developing a great weakness to kiss all
the young and pretty girls he meets. As
men grow older they grow wiser. Il Boston
Post.
There are 1900 new words in the re-
vised edition Of Worcester's Dictionary.
With such facilities writers will have little
difficulty in making themselves misunder.
stood.
Mr.. Beadle's envy: g What lucky
man Jones is!'' exclaimed Beadle. "He
is an A. B., A. NJ. and LID. and see
by his card that he is now an r. S. V.P.
He's lucky dog"
VIII you have it rare or well done -
said Commissioner Brennan to an Irishman,
as he was cutting slice of roast beef. 81
love it well done ever since am in this
country, replied Pat, ''for it was rare
enough l ate it in Ireland"
Spelling is OF small account when brought
against genius. The Canadian Champion,
published at Milton, Ontario, received,
few days since, lyric, accompanied with
the request, "Please insirk this Pome in
this weeks issue and obidge yours, j. B."
George Washington has had another
birthday, and still he can look down, with
tears IN his eyes, at his unfinished monu-
ment, and wish it was an obelsk in some
foreign land. for then it might arouse
enough patriotism in the American breast
to get it completed.
An Irshman was accused of stealing
handkerchief of fellow traveller, but the |
owner, on finding it., apologized to Pat, and
said that it was mistake. ''Arrah me
jewel, retorted Pat, it was two-sided |
mistake-you took me for thief, and l |
took you for gintleman.
He drew his breath with gasping sob,
with quavering voice he sang, but his |
voice leaked out a1d could not drown the |
accompanies clamorous bang. He lost |
his pitch on the middle a, he faltered on |
lower d, and foundered at length like a |
battered wreck adrift on the wild high G. |
burlington Hawkeye.
A beggar stops dandy on Paris bouIe- |
ward with the usual story :" to buy bread. |
if you please" The dandy passes, but the
beggar runs after him. Between you
and me. good sir. if l asked you for some.
thing it was TO buy tobacco" The dandy |
Immediately hands him twenty cents, add
ing, t" At least get cigars.
Long John Wentworth, of Chicago, is
an admirer of Robert Lincoln, who, he
says, sis growing young man, and has
an industry that will be crowned with sue
cess. think the Presidency awaits MIN,
and [ would rather take his chances than
those of any other man in the country.
He has no enemies, and, like his father, is
not likely to have any"
The complaint is not so much that
people work on Sunday" says the circular
of the Chicago Sabbath Association, " but
that they play. 1t is against sinful recrea.
tions that we are moving" 1.-The Puri-
tans, said Macauley, hated bear batting,
not because it gave pain to the bear, but
because it gave pleasure to the spectators.
[Springfeld Republican.
As the family of very orthodox divine
were gravely discussing why the baby was
so naughty, a boy of twelve, who had just
commenced to study the steam engine as
well as the catechism, asked "Papa, as
we all inherit the sin of Adam, and the
baby is such little fellow, is there not
greater pressure of sin to the square inch in
the baby than in any of the rest of us p
The Voimteer Reue1o, new journal just
started in London in the interest of rife
men and volunteers, frankly comedies the
superiority of Americans in rihe-shooting
and remarks that in a team match of
America against Great Britain, although
its patriotism and good wishes would be
on one side. it would respectfully ask per-
mission to put whatever little money it
chose TO risk on the event on the other side
of the water.
The young lady in seal sacque and fur
bonnet was at the lecture and during the
entire hour her pencil was busy. An elderly
lady had noticed this with unconcealed
pleasure At the close of the lecture she
stepped up to the young lady and congrat.
ulatsd her upon her good sense in taking
such coDious notes. "0h," exclaimed
Miss Sealskin, Il wasn't taking notes. /
was only putting down list of things
have got to get on my shopping trip this
afternoon. The elderly lady simply said
"Oh !" but she looked cruelty disap-
pointed. Boston Transcript.
A New York gentleman in an art deal
er's gallery bought foreign landscape with
an OK in it. The next day, while revisit
ing the galley, he thought he saw his new
purchase again. "Oh, no, p said the art
dealer, "your picture was sent to you last
night" "Do you mean to say that this
picture is MT the one l bought?" Ger
tainly." "I'Il bet you hat that it is the
same one" "I'll take the bet" He goes
home, finds his picture there, returns the
same day, looks steadily at the art dealers
picture, especially at the ox's caudal ap
pendage, and says: You can have your
hat. Your tail is up, see, and mine is
down"
A gentleman who owns sheep ranch in
Western Texas, and is very wealthy, |
went to Galveston with friend |
intending to remain over and see Mardi- |
Gras On Sunday he and his friend went
to church. The clergyman gave out his
text, "a good shepherd will not leave his
sheep" The sheep man from Western
Texas nudged his companion and whis-
pered Let's go, Bill; he is hitting at
US" and out they went. When they paid |
their bill at the hotel, they told the clerk
that was not the way to build up the wool
interests of Texas nor to secure deep water |
on Galveston bar.