Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1881-11-03
REAL AND FALSE.

say, we were all there Tor the same puf-
pose. as well as several hundred others
who thrOnged the house. The drama to
be produced was the passionate love
tragedy Of Romeo and Juliet, and the
part of the fair Juliet was to be taken
by a young and beautiful lady, who
made her debut that evening.
We Immediately learned from the
conversation Of our farmer couple, that
he was Simon and she was Amelia. He
seemed one Of these slow, goOd-natured
men, whom we often meet and seldom
dislike: while she was evidently the ma
ior-general Of the Amelia Simon firm.
Her nose and chin were pointed, and
she carried an air Of decided authority
about her. She had COmely face IN
dicating excellent sense, but the con
trast between her appearance and that
of meek Simon was striking. These
good people have evidently been unac-
custOmed to the theater, and the CON
versation and criticisms that passed
between them were novel and enter
tanning. We will not attempt to give
their conversation verbatim, as it would
fill small book.
The drop-curtain, hiding the stage,
represented an emigrant train crossing
the plains. Amelia's eyesight was still
good.
'What a lot o'wagons ali in a row" "
she remarked, as she gazed at the paint
ing, and under 'em it says 40. Ireck-
on ther must be forty-nine on EN-;
who'd thought ther was tibet many =
II can't see EN-" meekly responded
Simon, with a Crestfallen countenance.
claw, sakes can't you though?
What a pity now you didn't fetch your
specks. Jes like you. How'd you spect
to see anything without EN-. Your
eyesight want never so good as mine,
nOhOw," she cOmp laCently added.
chats so, mother" he said.
He looked so uncomfortable, that we
leaned over, and offering an opera glass,
said:
''Take this, sir it may enable you TO
see"
Amelia turned upon US a quick,
searching glance, and then scrutinizing
the glass sharply, and taising no objec-
tons, she looked the fact to her obedl
ent spouse, who taking it awkwardly,
said in blunt manner:
''Well, now, hold thct's right clever;
! thought these folks were all on 'em
too stuck up to speak to country folks,
let alone handin' this ERE thing to look
through
"Be still, will your said his wife eau
tiOusly, with the characteristic readi-
ness Of her sex; chow are they to know
we hain't city folks? | never wore this
gown but once before, an my bunnjt IS
spick span new as when Samanthy put
it on the tree for me thet Christmas;
an you know right we'll you got them
clothes new, out Of the store, this very
day. Folks can tell they are new by
the folds" she proudly added.
Simon had been busily examining
the opera glass, and good Amelia's
worldlinesS had not affected the old
man very much, for he musingly spoke,
rs he turned the glass over and around:
Il seen the place where they was
givin' 'em away, down stairs, when we
come in.
"Givin' 'em away, indeed! A pretty
lot they was q givir' 'em away
reckon eff they had been, I'd q he'd a
share" We believed her "They
was seliin' 'em," she asserted, rs if she
knew for a certainty, 81 listened mighty
sharp"
Poor Simon, he had turned, and
twisted and shaken the opera glass I'M
til he struck the happy medium that
suited his eyes Be it known that it
was wholly an accident, however, as
he had come to the conclusion that
they were not good for much, but he
50 dreaded to hear the voice of his
lady, assuring him that nothing was
the matter, only he didn't know how"
that he kept on fussing until the happy
accident occurred. After a brief
pause, the exclamation that startled us
Was:-
'Whv 'Melia, them wagons tibet you
talked about, all in a row, is meant for
emigrant train. Blest eff it don't
look kinder natural, too" unused the
old man. 'Y es, I've been across them
plains twice. Tough times we had
them days; them OK teams don't look
much like the teams we he'd; they
never put less'n six or eight yoke on
sech big wagon, and there they've
only got one They never have their
heads hoisted up like that ere yoke;
they alters lop 'em down"
Another prolonged gaze left the
pause uninterrupted, and then the fol-
lowing information was elected from
the good man, who little guessed how
many he was entertaining.
"Ho, l see tibet 40, thet you said
meant the number of teams. You
want right tibet time, sure. Why, it
means the spring of 80, when l come
over. Umph, just like women folks,
SIGH call1elation?"
The lights suddenly grew dim, the
bell tapped, and the whole emigrant
train, with the 40 and the OK teams.
began rolling over and over into a con
fused mass within the curtain folds, as
it rose to the top of the stage. After
the introduction of number of char
scters, the gentle Romeo made his
appearance. His costume, one of the
day in which he was supposed to have
tiourished, was composed of a gracefully
flowing cape, and closely fitting gar
ments, of rich green cloth, trimmed in
gold. Upon his curly head rested a
jaunty cap with a charming plume way
ing over the crown.
Can you hear what the play actors is
sayin," said 'Melia, soto voice.
mo, | reckon they hain't begun yet,
he innocently answered.
eyes, they hev, too. That Their chap
is Romeo, an he goes a courtin' JUL
ct, an her folks an his folks don't
speak, an he marries Juliet an kills
her cousin an is banished, an pisius
hisself an she takes som ethin' moth or