Smyrna times., 1881-06-08
WHOLE NO. 1853.
Current Comment,
PHILADELPHIA EVENING NEWS

! ne racquet has gone out Of fashion
pul II VIII cont;nIc to be danced at lima
ne aSylums where it originated.
Apostle lngcrsoll delivered ali Grafton
a! "a" dedication Of the monument to :,
h0hilS ranc on Decoration Rav.
hay" You bought Your bathin. .ni, y
i ! POST If YOU refer to the ultra
kind. 40: wa, born in one.
Samuel ]. Tildcn j, worth slo0ooUo
and still refuses to marry II * .n,rn.nI
that in his youth he rot a gr,dec adninlr
milImcr~.
!" call an unsafe excursion ~tc.untrra
iloatlh% colin" il 4 libel on the. collins.
Except III rare cases collins do no harm tn
The living.
Nrnnor has promised Il moist June
u "ftamsPoH GacG'tc He has also pre-
dlctcd 4 dry June. Ten to one he viii hit
Il If h" keeps on.
Ii amen were as awkward With umhrcl-
las AZ most women are with para.ols. there
would be Il good many knockdown. on
crowded thoroughfarc-
Judging from the popularity of the
: Not this evening. some other evening
ldiocy. this great republic must be affected
with Softcnin% of the brain
job went through many trials without
murmur. but he was never called as a wit
ness when the crosS-cXamining lawyer was
an unscrupuouS pcttifogger.
When the Prince of Wales Is absent
from London the fashionable season Is
dull. They can't pet along without Il
prince to tell them when to laugh
John Hays fathcr-in-law. Mr.. Amasa
stone. of Cleveland. is said to be worth
S6.O0o,WW, Instead of his name being
| Amasa stone it should be Amasa Fortune
10 Kill garden buga-Heat one gallon Of
water to the boiling point, add half pint
OF sulphuric acid and two ounces Of rat
| poison. Then remove the bugs carefully
from the bushes and drop them into it,
Make the question of adopting the re-
viscd edition a political one and immc-
diately tens of thousands who never read
4 chapter will be shouting for the old
| Testament a. it is. the new one as it was
\ man can never be happy unless his
first object IS outside of himself.-iathony
Trollopc, y good many men cannot be
happy until they get their first object in
side Of themselves. That is why local OPP
ton is unpopular.
4 London halter puts forward n claim.
I n on Tho ,r,plIn1 pf | ord Rpa-
cOnsfield having bought his last hat of
him: but. strange to say, no London doe
tor has boasted that Bcaconsiield got his
last medicine from him,
Mr.. J. :. Brown, the Presidents private
secretary. is a native OF Washington. Il
carpenter and the son of a carpenter.
, When he sat down to study shorthand
after working all day al the bench. he
, builded better than he knew.
Josh Billings says of society that his &c
quaintanccs would fill cathedral, but
that the pulpit would hold his friends
This is the first intimatiOn we have had
that Josh has met with reVerses. and has
, been trying TO borrow money.
; The poke bonnet is the attempt of Dame
! Fashion to recover herself Had bonnets
gone on getting smaller the day would not
have been far distant when $50 bill trim
= med with lace and tied with ribbon. would
\ have been the fashionable headgear.
I \ Philadelphia man intended to build 4
= house, but has abandoned the project. lie
= says the architect estimated that it could
he erected for $4,000, but as he only has
$15OOOO to spare for that purpose he
knows he would never be able to COM
pletc it.
It Lightning singled out 900 stallion to
e kill at Bloomington, ILL.,. leaving eleven
5 comparatively valuelesS horses uninlured.
p This looks like a hint on the subject OF
II horse racing. but as Il church was struck
, during the same storm the occurrences
y may have no significance.
k The $4,000 worth of gold chains, stolen
l. from a travelling salesman of n New York
1t house in Baltimore a few weeks ago, have
e been recovered, on the payment of S2,5OO
1. to the thieves. How beautiful it is to see
C such efforts to encourage thieves to make
an honest living by getting them to return
the goods stolen and merely charging fol-
n storage.
= PERLITE SOCIETY,"" Look heah, jim
:, Webster" said Uncle Nose, has you go
: puffec confidence in sam JOhnsing.'
70 Il has puffeC confidence in his bein' d'
u. most Unreliable rascal on Galveston Is
y land. responded Jim Webster.
y well, Jim, I'll take Bible oaf saw
p =