Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1881-09-08
A Hitch in the Ceremonies.

Brooklyn Eagle: 81 hate to see a
hitch in a weddin'," remarked farmer
from out Jamaica way, as he dropped
into the cOunting-room with a nuptial
notice. at looks bad and it makes
talk"
Anything wrong about this we'd
dingY asked the clerk, as he made
change for the old man.
Nothing positively wrong, but it
didn't launch like want to see things
of that kind. You seen by the notice
that Buck Thomas was marryin' Mary
Bliff, and at one time we begun to
think they never would git through
that ceremony"
"What was the hitch?"
"Why, Buck Is a Methodist, and
Mary is a 'Piscopalian, and as one
wanted one service, and the other
another, they patched up some kind of
a scheme to have both. Neither would
go to the others church, but each had
their own minister and the weddin'
come off in the schOol-house. The PTS
cOpal minister married Mary, and the
Methodist undertook to marry Buck.
and there they was takin' alternate
whacks at the thing, and neither payin'
any attention to the other. The Meth
odist brother fired off a sermon first,
and the bride sat down and went to
sleep. Then the 'Piscopalian said as
how we'd all dropped in to see that
woman fined, but he wouldn't say who
too, and wanted to know if there was
any objections. That started up the
Methodist, who began to ask Buck if
he knew what a solemn business he
was peggin' at, and if he really meant
trade. AL that time the 'Piscopalian
was hoverin' around about this woman
and Mary was sayin' she'd do this and
that and the other. The Methodist
was marryin' away on his side and
finally they brought up agin stump"
slows that ?" asked the clerk.
"Well, the 'Piscopalian wouldn't
recognize Buck or his minister, and the
Methodist wouldn't have nothin' to do
with Mary or her preacher, and there
was no way of gitten' 'em together.
Everything was all ready except aSkin'
them if they'd take each other, and
neither one of 'em would do it. Mary
and Buck was standin' hand i'm hand.
and the crowd was gettin' hungry"
"lIow did they get through it?"
They had to compromise. They
wrangled for time, and finally Buck
spoke up of his own accord, said he'd
take Mary for his welded wife, and
then Mary Clipped in and said she'd
take Buck for her husband. AT That
we all cheered and hollered. But
there they pumped on another snag."
"In what respect?" inquired the
clerk.
because there was no one to pro-
nounce EN- man and wife. Buck tried
to reason Mary into lettin' the Metho-
dist do that part, and Mary argued
with Buck and tried TO persuade him
into listinin' TO her preacher; but it
was no use. That brought Oh another
row, and as it was gittin' nigh on to
dark, we all felt that somethin' ought
To be done, as we'd been there most all
day"
"Well, did they get married?" asked
the tired clerk.
"Yes, we fixed it up. The ministers
was gittin' pretty mad at each other,
but they agreed that they'd each attend
to their own flock, so the Methodist
said Il now pronounce you man. and
the 'PiscOpalian said Il now pronounce
you wife, and they let it go at that.
Then Buck paid the Methodist, and the
'Piscopalian wanted to know where he
came in. Buck said he'd hired his
man and paid him, and as he was not
responsible for his wife's foolishness
before marriage, her parson could
whistle for his wealth. l guess there'll
be lawsuit about it, for the 'Piscopa-
liam says he'll have half of that f. dol
lars if it takes a leg off to the armpit.
l don't like to see them bitches at we'd
din's. 1t don't look right, and it amt
business"
With this reflection the old man but
toned up his change and drove home
in deep meditation.