The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1881-06-16
A Little Difficulty Between the Skele.
ton aud the Eat Woman.

A Little Difficulty Between the Skele.
ton aud the Fat Woman.
1T feels very warm in this ROOM"
said the fat woman the other day, as she
sat in all her ayoirdupois splendor on the
raised platform assigned to her and the
skeleton at the Dime Museum. When
she had uttered this remark she cast a
soft and melting glance at the living
skeleton, who was seated next to her
for contrast. The skeleton shivered.
II think it quite cool enough" he re-
piled. lifting one of his inch-thick legs
over the other. II differ with you,"
replied the fat woman. "I am very
warm, and think i will raise the win
dow to catch little air. You don't
mind my doing that, dear, do you" she
asked, as she raised her elephantine
arm-measuring nearly thirty-five inch
es in circumference-and let it fall on
the skeletons shoulder. The latter
quivered, and at last got from beneath
the weight and turned his full face
three and a quarter inches wide-upon
the lady, and said: "I am quite COM
Portable with the window down. You
may need more air; if so. you can move
to the other end of the room" The
fat woman did not lose her temper, but
smiled sweetly on the irate man. AS
she smiled, the tiny dimples-each
three inches sdeep-played with bewitch-
ing coquetry upon her cheeks. "Iky,
Ky, dear, you would not Danish me.
Think of what desolate life you con-
denim me to away from your presence.
l would be as one lost. 1t is too hard"
or words to that effect.
The blood rushed to the skeletons
face, and twisting the radius around the
ulna bone, he lifted his humerus and
thus placed his right arm about one
sixteenth around the fat woman's 8
waist. "You will let me. won't you,
dear2 just one little breath of air. /
am nearly suffocated," said the fat
woman, as she twisted the pupils of her
eyes so as to look over the ridges of fat
that lay beneath the eyelid, and thus
caught a glimpse of the skeletons s
blonde head as it nestled upon the vast
expanse of her bosom. Just as their
eyes met, the skeleton raised his head
and said. " Let you do what?' "Why,
open the window" was the cooing re-
ply. "No. / said no once, and /
mean it. As | am man, Imean it."
The fat woman drew herself up.
"You a man! A sick-looking man, /
should say,' she cried beneath her
teeth, and she gave the chain of her pet
squirrel a twitch. and pulled him to-
| ward her. Just as he was about to crawl
up the skeletons leg, taking it for a
branch of tree.
Anyhow" replied the skeleton, 81
am bigger attraction than you are, if
/ am little. See how the people stand
before me, and gaze upon my frame and
figure and wonder at me-"
"Pooh!'' replied the fat woman.
"They are looking at me. Your figure!
Why, you have none. Look at the cas-
cades of flesh on my arm. It's more
than wonderful. My face is pretty"
Pretty ugly" the skeleton tried to
get in edgewise.
81 am the attraction---not you," the
Fat woman continued.
eff 1 wanted to, and believed what
you said, would grow fat at once" re-
piled the skeleton.
"You can't, can't, can't, can't, can't,
can't! So therer' said the fat lady,
with evident satisfaction. "You are
afraid of the air. Open the window
and the wind would blow you away"
| Il
with what she had said.
"It's pity the wind or something
else don't blow you away" said the
skeleton; and he chuckled.
"It's mean to talk to a lady like
that" said the fat woman; and great
tears-one to a gill-began to gather in
her eyes.
''I think it is you who ought to select
one of your size to pick quarrel WITH
was the skeletons reply.
The fat woman moved her sofa sc
that its back was turned toward the
skeleton, and as she sat down she said
81 shall never, never, never, never
newer speak to you again. If would
smack you could lay you flat; but. ]
scorn to strike one so small"
| "Anyhow. I've succeeded in keeping
the window closed" was the iniudicious
retort of the skeleton.
"Indeed you have not, for / shall
open it at once" said the fat woman
and she jumped down from the plat
form and went to the window anC
opened it. A triumphant smile resteC
on her face as she returned to her Sc at
and the gentle January breezes blew
their chilling blasts over the frail form
of the fat woman and the manly form
of the skeleton. The latter was power
less to act in the matter. The fat WON
an was mistress of the situation. They
sat back tn back until one of the man
ayers happened to pass and noticed th'
state of affairs. Each had a long story
but it finally ended with a separation
Now, any visitor to the museum will
notice that the fat woman sits in al
her regal glory at one end of the room
where she can open the window when
ever she wants to, while at the othe
end the skeleton holds court. 1t vii
be noticed that he keeps his windoy
shut. The two now and then cast 81
glances at each other around the hea
of the giant and the wild men of Bor
neo. 1t is also rumored that the al
tempt of the latter to lift the fat woma
is great feather in her cap, for tn
wild men, though great friends of tn
skeleton, consider him too small t
) waste strength on.-Baltimore Anle1
icdn.