The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1881-10-21
AN ACCESSION 70 THE FAMILY.
A Daughter Comes Into the SpOOpen'
dyke Family.

n daughter comes INTO inc ApOOpen
dyke Family.
Brooklyn Eagle.
well, well, well" said Mr.. spoopen
dyke with a grin, that involved the whole
head, and an effort at the tip-toe tread tha
shook the whole house. "And SO its girl
my dear"
Mrs, Spoopendyke smiled family and
Mr., Spoopendyke picked up his heress.
Its the image OF YOU" she said, regard,
ing with some trepidation Mr.. Spoopen-
dykes method OF handling the infant
II don't see how you make that out, y
said Mr.. Spoopendyke grayely. II don't
know when my nose looked like the thumb
part OF Il boiled lobster claw, Do under
stand you that my eyes bear any resem.
blance to the head OF u screwW
"lmean thegenerl features murmured
Mrs. SpOOpendyke.
"Ihe general features seem to be all
mouth" retorted Mr., Spoopendykc, exam
lining his acquisition. Ii our general feat
ures are ut all alike, my visage must re-
mind you Of an earthquake, Iii kitchee!
kitchee! What makes her fold up her legs
like that"
"She can't help it," responded Mrs
Spoopendyke. They'll straighten out in
time
mo time like the present" quoted Nr
Spoopendykc, and he took his daughters
feet and commenced pulling her limbs. ~
don't want any bandy-legged first in this
family while I'm at the head OF it."
Naturally the baby began to cry, and
Mr.. SpOopendyke csSayed to soothe it.
iii! kitchce kitCh.z.el" he chirrupcd
you'll have to get that mouth rooted in
before cold weather What's the matter
with her, any Way"
Perhaps you hurt her, Let me take
her please" pleaded helpless Mrs, Spoop-
cndykc.
Shes doing well enough. Iii! Topsy,
Gencvicvc, Cleopatra, dry up! Pm going
to have trouble breaking this young ones
temper, can see that, Here! bend the
other way OnCeW and Mr.. SpOopendyke
tried to straighten up his offspring without
avail.
"Let her come to me, do please" moancd
Mrs, SpOOpendyke, and Mr.. SpOopcndyke
was forced to hand her over.
nursing his knee and cycling the infant
"WhNtro those bumps over the eye for?
What prcpOnderancG Of intelligence do
they representa-
"iOu mustn't talk so, demonstrated Mrs.
Spoop6ndyke. "Shc's the handsOnest baby
you ever saw"
"Well, she's got TO stop biting her nails
before she goes any farther with this pro-
cessOn. Here, take your hands out Of
your mouth, can't you? Why don't you
put her hands down"
"Why, all babies do that" explained
Mrs. Spoopcndykc. "HOu can not help
that.
"Pm going to try" said Mr.. Spoken
dyke, "Nnd don't want to be intericrcd
with in bring the child up. Here, you,
Maud $, Bonsetter, put your hands in your
pockets. Don't let inc see any more nail
chewing, or you and I'll get mixed up in
an argument She gets that from your fam
lily, Mrs. Spoopcndykc."
"Say, dear don't you want to 60 and or
der some thingsY asked Mrs. SpOOpCn-
dyke.
40" rcioincd her husband, 81 want to
see this youngster, Where's its chin? DO
babies always have their upper jaw set
right on their shoulders? KitChCc kitchre!
Her scalp comes clear to the bridge Of her
nose, | don't believe she's quite right. |
Where's her forehead Great Moses Her |
head is all on the back part Say, that
baby's got to be pressed. That shape" |
Get away" explained Mrs. SpoOpcn-
lykc, Indignantly. "Shc's II perfect angel. |
There's nothing in the world the matter
with her"
"Of course you know" growlcd Mr.
SpOopcndykc. "YOu don't want anything
more than Il iog.horn and misspCnt NpprO.
ltiOn to be an orphan asylum. II / had
your faith and the collie IA make living |
Is foundling's home! She'll be old
enough to spank in week, won't slcp"
"N0, she won't" said Mrs. SpOopcndykc.
Shell never be old enough for that"
"l'll bet she will, grumted Mr. Spoopcn.
lyke, "If she isn't she'll get it before she
natures up to that period. That's all. Let
ne take her. Here, let's have her."
But Mrs. SpOOpcndykc fatty refused.
"ECcp your dOd gastcd baby, then !"
'oarrd Mr.. SpoopCndykc. "lf you know
more about babies than do, then keep
her. The way you Coddlc her one would
link she was new paste for the COM
plcxion. II you had one more brain and
/ handle, you'd make Il fair rattle box
Fit you up with Il broken sofa and II grease
spot, and you'd do for IL secondhand nur-
;Cry."
And Mr.. Spoopcndykc started off to find
his friend SpccalwottlC who congratulated
him, and started off with him to assist in
he selection Of an OvCrcOat and pair Of
,ar muns US precautionary against the ap'
winter.