The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1881-09-13
Wild Western Eumor,

I When q Chinaman does anything
in his own peculiar Oriental style, 1t
is pretty apt to attract attention; but
when he gets OH bucking broncho
with the cheerful assurance OF man
who understands his business, and
has been conyersant with the ways OF
the bronco for over two thousand
years, the great surging mass of hu.
manity ceases to surge, and stands
with bated breath and watches the
exhibition with unlagging interest,
A Chinaman does not grab the bit OF
the bronco and yank it around until
the noble steed can see thirteen new
and peculiar kinds of fireworks, or
kick him in the stomach and knock
his ribs loose, or swear at him until
the armament gets loose anu begins
TO roll together like scroll, but he
ties his hair up in an Oriental wad
behind and jobs a hairpin into il and
smiles, and says something like what
la Guinea hen would say il she got ex-
cited and tried to report one OF
Bjornesterne Biornson's poems back
ward in his native tongue. Then he
gots on the wrong side and sides into
tho saddle, making a remark as
though something inside of him had
broken loose, and the grand difficult
ty begins. At first the bronco seems
surprised and temporarily ratified in
tellectually, and he stands idly in the
glad sunlight and allows his mental
equilibrium TO wabble back into
place. Then he shoots athwart the
sunny sky, and comes down with all
'his legs In cluster like bunch
of asparagus, and with great deal
of force and expression, This move
ment throws the Chinaman's liver
into the northwest corner OF The tho
rax and HE upper loft hand duodoci-
mo into the middle OF the subsequent
week, but he does not complain. lie
opens his mouth and breathes in all
the atmosphere that the rest of.the
universe con spare, and readjustiug
his blue shirt tail SO that it will have
The correct inclination toward the
horizon, lie gently tickles the bronco
oil the ,starboard quarter with the
cork soul of his corpulent shoe. This
mirth provoking movement throws
the bronco into the widest Mysteries,
and for twenty minutes the specta-
tors don't see anything very. distinct
ly. The sunlight seems to be mixed
up with blond bronco, and tho soft
eued summer haze seems fraught with
pale blue shirt-tail and disturbed
Chinaman, moving into All irregular
orbit, and occasionally throwing off
mcteoric articles of apparel and pre-
historic chunks of ingeneus profanity
Of the vintage of Confncius, marked
B.. q. 1860. When tho sky clears up
little the Chinaman's hair has come
down and hangs in wild profusion
about his olive features. The hem OF
his shirt flap is seen 10 BIO much
frayed, like an American flag that
has snapped in the breezes for
thirteen weeks. He finds also that
he has telescoped his spinal column
and damned two ribs through the
right superior duplex, aud he has two
or three vertcbrae floating about
through his system that he don't
know what to do with. The casual
observer can see that the Chinaman
is a robust ruin, while the bronco ie
still in good state of preservation.
Bur the closing scene is still to come.
The bronco summons oil his latent
energy, and humping his back up
into the exhilarating atmosphere, he
shoots forward with great earnest
ness and The most reckless abandon,
aud when he once more besets the
earth's orbit and jams his feet into
the trembling earth, shapeless mass
of brocaded silk and coarse black
hair. and tapir nails and celestial
shirt-tail, and Onlong profanity, and
disorsanized Chinese remains, and
shattered Oriental shirt destroyer,
comes down apparently from the
New Jerusalem, and the coroner goes
out on the street TO get six good men
and chemist. and they analyze the
collection. They report that the de-
ceased came TO his death by reason of
conclusion, supposed to be induced
from the outer battlements of the
sweet bye and bYe.-[Bill Nye, His
Boomerang.