davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Dillon tribune. [volume] (Dillon, Mont.) 1881-1941, 1881-09-24
Too Hot to tell the Truth.

1t was too hot to tell the truth, and ye
men try to do It. Superhuman effort,
almost were to concoct some state, mem
that should at least bear colorado rcse,n
h!ance to the condition to b. stated. NJ
ore. 80 far as could he learned, succeeded
but some came tolerable near. For exam
pie, several gentlemcn met last evening a
Coney Island. They had come BY differ
ent routes. They tried to tell how the,
had been driven out Of the different part
of the city by the heat.
i stood Il until was frightened. sale
one. But when saw lamp. post in from
OF my hotel blow up with spontaneou,
combustion and the gas shoot blazing M
In the air thought it was time to leave
I got away just in tine,' said another
tor the dock kindled into flames Just as GU,
boat pushed off.
i saw one thing said another, tina,
convinced me it was best to leave, A man
lay in the shade under pile OF piy.iro,,
near the depot when started, and as the
sun got around to the pile it melted
the iron, which rar down molten over the
the man, encasing him completely. They
tried to find a cold chisel to cut him out
hut there WASH, such thing to l,e had
'iwasn't very hot in town, reckon
drawled Coney Island landlord, who has,
overheard the talk. Il had my walters ali
fishing early this morning and they caught
enough boiled fish in half an hour to keer
me going two days.
The Dillon tribune. [volume] (Dillon, Mont.) 1881-1941, 1881-09-24
TRIBUNE DILLON COUNTY, 1881

wife. Another wave caught him ane
landed him high and dripping him OH thu
beach.
.Whv didn't ye come when called ye'
What dye want me to walk all the way N
here after you for!' sfrieked Mr.. SPoopen
dyke. Are We waiting to be launched
like ship! Can't ye walk as tar as that
What are you hoistsng up the legs you
pants fori They amt shirts. Now look al
me. See how go In, and you follow mt
when beckon to you. Watch me now
Mr.. Spoopendyke plunged in and
swasl,ed around few minutes in safety
but the treacherous water was biding it.
time. Another wave caught him and
rolled him over. pumped itself into hi,
stomach, drew him under, whirled him
around, and finally deposited him bowling
on the sand.
Got most ready to get in? he jerked
but, as he climbed up himself and assumed
khe perpendicular. Think Pm going to
sham around here all day, like water
spout waiting for your What did you
come here for1 Find any fun standing
there like soda.water signs Why don't
you get in the water, II you are going to:
Come or now
i am afraid whimpercd Mrs. Spoopen-
lyke. If | go in, know will BE-
lrowncd.'
no, you won't get drowned, either.
Can't you hold on to me: What did you
put ON that shirt and trousers for, If you
meant to get drowncd' What are you do.
Ing around here! Now, when l get IN
again, you come along, or else you "a
home
Mr.. Spoopcndyke plunged into the surf,
but as he came up he missed the rope
For second or two he sprawled around
and then began to yell. Mrs. Spoopen,
1dyke eyed him moment, and then her
Hear for him overcame her fears for her
self, and with yell she dashed in and
hanlcd him out by the hair.
.Shc.root the water, choked Mr. Sroop
cndykc. I'm full Of the measly stuff. Sc
YOU got in, didn't We? Let so my hair, will
! vcs Let 60 tell ye: What dye think you
9,4e, any way-a steam BARRIERS shop! Go
ling to let go that hair some time? But
frightened out Of all reason, Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke cling still and hauled Mr.. Spcopcn-
advke to his clearinghouse.
oh! II hadn't saved you,' she sobbdd
oh! yes, you saved me, didn't you:'
/ >necred Mr.. Spoopendyke. All YOU want
ssis, four air-tight compartments and two sets
sof thol.. pins to be patent liie-raft. Are
YOU going to let go Of that hair:'
And as she released him they went to
stheir separate apartments.
The Dillon tribune. [volume] (Dillon, Mont.) 1881-1941, 1881-09-24
Bathing In the Surf.

Now, my DEAR lid Mr.. Spoopendykc
as he stepped out Of the bathing house an,
'humped on the door Of thu one occupief
ny Mrs. Spoopendyke, are you ready
We must hurry into the water and ON
again. or we won't get through in tim, for
d!nner.'
Mrs. Spoopendyxc emerged, b,nt aim st
c"uble, and shivering " tn the cold.
Isn't it rather chillys' she asked.
No, at all, Mrs. Spoopendykc, not at all
the air is rather cool. but the water i.
warm. If YOU want to go with me, vo,
want to move along
AS they reached the beach, Mr.. Spoop
e'avke left his wife and boldly strobe int.
the surf. \ wave broke over him, tillina
his eyes, nose and mouth, and then h,
strobe out.
what you standing there for, eh:' he de
'nandvd. What do you take yourself 10,
"A lighthouse' Did ye come down her,
I" take bath, or are We waiting for son.,
ship to tic up to you: What's the matte,
with you. any way:'
I'm afraid Of the waves whim,crcs
Mrs. Spoopcndvke; they re so big
oh! they're too big tor you, amt they
rctorted Mr.. Spoorendyke. Wait TIL
get man to saw of little one. B.tt.
get measured Tor one to suit, hadn't YOU
It's the bly, waves YOU want. l tell YOU
Look here and Mr.. Sr,opendyke marcl,e,
boldly into the sea again. lie turned hi
lace toward the shore and bcckoncd to hi
The Dillon tribune. [volume] (Dillon, Mont.) 1881-1941, 1881-09-24
Misrellsnes.
being SOmt hing for POsterity.

The movement to encourage the growth
OF trees continues. In New England
many old farms are being replantcd or art
growing up into forests. In many Of thu
picturesque old villages Improvement as
sociations are at work identifying the loca
habi,a,ions with shrubs aud what will YET
become noble trees. There is an astonish
ing amount oftree planting all over the ex
tremc West. Indeed, in the prairie coun'
tries groves and bits Of wood have become
necessity to protect the farm house and
barns from the fierce winds which occa'
sio,ally visit plains not intersected ny
mountain ranges. There Is still much
needless waste of wood, aud forest fires
are altogether too frequent. Indeed the
.iay must come when the federal govern
mcnt will be empowered to protect our
forests, as well as 70 give authority to re-
plant certain sections, SO as to secure sup
nv Of water for rivers which, would dry up
II the feeders at their head waters we're re-
moved. But until Congress is empowered
10 act, by change in the organic law, the
disposition to plant trees by individuals
and corporations should be warmly com
,nended. Some of the railroads are help.
ing on the good work by offering prizes for
trees planted on either side Of their tracks,
and some Of them have the good sense to
spend little money in tree and shrub
planting near the stations. Travellers on
the Union Pacific road will recall the taste
fill surroundings at the stations where the
travellers stop for their meals. 1t would
ray all the railroads to do as much for the
travelling public in every part Of the coun.
try.-D.morcst Monthly for October.
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1881-03-15

Prrresox, D. Mo- zyyvsfor AMI,
inst rocn;vea !. on 'n,,s,.,,, hr n ),
sunber esnsc;au, in ;,s ,,yr r r;n%a
In adJ;;;on 40 hoa,,;,,,, ' Ia, ,,,a,s
lin tho nalconv ;,lns,ro,;u.r . ,o,a
bv Eropk Tee Ranad;ct e hos :
charming liltls Love s,orv III, lS,,s
Rodman Chnrcb Win mv,Saro;,, n ~"
grovings Thers, w. n,ao = Uer hlo
s sn,;s,n ,i, ~ ~ also seIy avie
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1881-03-15
He Wouldn't Have It

Among the passengers who boarded
a MICHIGAN railway train the other day
were bride and groom of the regular
hollyhockorder. Althouh the car was
full Of passengers fthe'pair began to
squeeze hands and hug as soon as
they we're seated. This, Of course, at
tracted attention, and pretty soon
everybody was nodding and winking.
and several persons so far forgot them
selves as to laugh outright. By-and.
by the broad shouldered and irel4
handed groom became aware Of the
fact that he was being ridicule, and he
unlinked him self to the height Of six
feet, looked up and down the aisle and
said: "There seems to he considerable
nodding and winking around here be.
cause I'm hugging the girl who was
married to me at 7 O. clock this morn
ing. II tho rules of this railroad for
did man from hugging his wife az.
ter he's paid full iare, then Pm going
to quits but if the rules don't, and this
winking and blinking isn't bitten
short off when we pass the next mile
post, I'm going to begin on the front
seats and create rising market fol
false teeth and crutches!@, If there
were any more winks and blinks IN
that car the groom didn't catch 'cm
at it.
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1881-03-15
EXCHANGE sclNrrlIArIoNs.

Gen, Colley, the British General,
was Boered to death-a bullet kored
his head Il Lexington Press.
Many young man who was too
high toned to learn trade has been
compelled to do so at the expense Of
the State.--[ Argus,
A human body in alcohol may be
preserved for centuries; but outside Of
alcohol itwon't keep more than about
a quarter of century, II Dasoe.
A certain Newport old girl says abe
wants to "marry husband" She
would ind it safer to marry some mn
married man and make a husband out
Of HIM afterward.-[State journal :
A contemporary says that "Robt.
Lincoln has Inherited his father's
stern integrity" H,w does it know
that! Does Robert wear round
abont?-I Breckenridge News. IN
The man'who has blister on his
side tor pain in his chest doesn't
need much bed clothing. He already
has a surplus OF counter-pains. y
Glasgow Times. s-.s
When your watch runs down, pat
it in asrwarn bed between heavy
blankets and apply strengthening res.
toratives. That's The way they did
Hughes and Hart, who run down in
the racing match imNew. York., Mon,
day Dittoc. = E"'''SD
Glove is blind" but the blindest
love perhaps on record was that ofaa
Newport girl the other night, right
under the gas-light, who ran, to the
front gate and threw her arms around
the old mans neck and kissed him,
saying, 40, John, why didn't you
come sooner7"-IState Journal. 's
Great lleyingsl Mr.and Mrs. Baro-
ness Observation-Disclosures
Coutts are coming TO America next
May, and if Madame Decem Der doesn't
Look ont, some young American May
will steal her Junebug, although she
has him tied with golden thread. -
ARGUS.
do yon know, young man. that
cards are the DEVILS book?," asked
solemn looking parsonage 10 a fellow,
who was shufflipg the "rapers. "Oh,
yes; you shall have them. sir, as
soon as we have ourlittle game" re-
piled the young sca.egracc, turning
up jack. p Erin Reyiew. ~
It is said that The reviewers Of the
Bible have abolished the word "Hcll'
and substituted "H pdes" in its stead.
We venture to assert that none Of
those learned and lious gents ever oc-
cupicd 4 front scat in a Schnrch, or
public assemblage. and had his shirt
collar to attempt to crawl over his
head Hades is Inadequate; it doesn't
fill the BILL Clarksville Chronicle.
Every one carrying a considerable
amount of money should also, carry "a
concealed weapon.s III We hadn't made
The motion to shoot the rascal who
stopped us the other night with our
night.key, we might how be worth
several hundred dollars less in bonds
-TState Journal. ti@ , e',s ,..l A.. +
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1881-03-15

A gray hair was espied among the
raven locks Of charming young la.
dy. ooh, pray pullit outl' she ex.
claimed. s.If I pull it ont ten more
will come to your funeral" replied
the one who had made the discovery.
"Pluck it out, nevertheless" said tho
dark-haired damsel. "It's no conse-
quence how many come to the funeral
provided they all come in black"
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1881-03-15

ENGLISH FEMALE BITrERs.--As q powerful
iron tonic and female regulator, this co bina-
ton stands almost alone \ Is idcciiedly the
tho public and is held In high esteem throagh.
out the country. IL cures female weakness,
monthly supprcsslons, painful periods. re ioyes
the hysterlcai, imparfs Iron to the imp0ver-
ishcd blood, strengthens the dcbilitatetl, In
yigorRlcs lhe body and restores TO health. ).
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1881-03-15

Franz, j, Wright, a Maryland law
yer, went to Colorado to transactsom
business for client. He hired a
servant and purchased some mules for
travelling purposes, which had been
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1881-03-15
Starting a Newspaper.


1t was nearly twenty years ago.
says the (Nevadal Appeal, when Dan
Dexuile and Mark Twain attempted
to start paper in Mcndicipo County,
They. took the type and material Of
their recently tlelunct newspaper es,
'tablishment in San Francisco, and
loading the SUTTON u big wagon
struck out into the country to retrieve
their fortune. They packed their
| type Just asst stood in reforms, tied
up. the articles with stout cords by a
process well known TO printers, aud
packing closely in boxes, vowed to es-
ttahHsh a newspaper somewhere,
which would be the leading exponent
Of politics and history Of the Pacific
Coast. Had not an unfortunate cir
cumstance taken place, it is evident
that the newspaper which they con-
templated founding would have been
taiive to-day Their journey over the
mountains was utterly uneyenthl M.
| al ,bav reacbed Sin,nson's Stafion
SPOT well. known to,,old travellers on,
THAT route. Herethey met a party-of
emigrants making for Lower California
and the latter had with them a small
mountain hovitzer, which they
| brought with them across The plains.
Twain lock 4 great fancy 10 his
gun, and offered Fifty dollars fer il
with two kegsof powder. The en-
|igrants were glad to part with il. as
they concluded the time for its nee
had passed Dan thought the par.
chase of The artillery and military
supnlies was "a, 4 reckless niece of ex.
trayagancc, and said as much; bu,
lMark replied. IS esIab sl5 w Sasss9
| "When We start our,pper we must
fire salute; r,ewsbaper ofids swim
..:lll IL A. L.:
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1881-03-15

" IHsnlJacKsos. TKss.. 4 ug. ~. 1875 q
wish 70 state. for tho benefit Of tlIose who
s s..fh w,th Neuralgia. thns have suffered
form, for two months. and hail boon treated by
tho best medical men In Jackson, ,witbpai OIL
tanning any relief. Iprocured \ my ctntijof-
tie o. DR.. Ragiands Celebrated Lightning
months have elapsed and l have not foita
symptom Of the disease bcs'sf s0l'Ea'I
nW -ilzii JAMES V. yANN.
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1881-03-15


ness for him. rsjoined Dan, nodding
carelessy at an Indian whose head
was lying twenty yards away.
"The pen j. mighsier than tbs
SWORD. .IlS3 ~ E.crtIyy g.lCrsT II
avon bet. Hurrah for Faust and
Gutenbergp'
as there any type left2" ...
a mot pound" ..,,s1olluoia
Tendays later the two. journalistic
,tramps reached Virginia ,City,iweary,
discoaragediand foot-sora, and secur-
ed places on the Enterprise. niedo
RecentlyDan received the follow
ing from his former partner: 'ligil r.
HARTFORD, GoSN., Jan. 1, $780,
Dear DAM send You the con-
gratulations of the New Year. 4iiDo
You recollect the time we extermina-
ted the tribe ofIuulettered az savag,
es in Mcndicino county,. If. you. can
spare the time, l wish. you would
make aJapilgrimage to that historic
spot, gather the ghostly relics ,togeth-
or, pud plant tablet (not too Oexpenl
Midland at your own expense) ytoIthe
memory Iof the departed. Have a
shooting stick lying across a lang bow
with oar monogram and coatLof arms
entwined and son's appropriate epitspb
carved ON theistone; an extract from
Carl Schurz's views on the peace
Policy. might do. hEhcluscd is 4
dollar and dali for yonr. incidental
Iexpences; you can dead.head travelling
expenses .....,,.hniIois
al msi2 Yours, % Z
s.fel u 1 lIMSsK lTwMSyIs
P. S.ASend me a thigh. bone ofithc
fallen chief by next express. d.i'i 80.
100 49,. MKT.
Danwill attend to the matterin the
Spring. The OLD howitzer used on
Tie occasion is. still in his possession.
HIN ~ I'd tsh L.,
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1881-03-15
lnyeplors aud PnIenlees

should send for Instructions, terms, references,
Washington, d, G., who furnish, the, Same
without charge. Edison Brothcrs 10 |" well.
known and successfully drm Of large expert
cncc, having been established In lSd6.
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1881-03-15
Al and Cured OF Consumufion, 1T

..af' stitHu 'i'v 49, Philadelphia, Pa. y
Gentiemcn;--Flease send ma tvclye totfles
OF DR.. II, JAMES, CASSABIS lSpicA,. ,ope each
Of PILLS and otntment for friend u milne
who il not eSpcctetl tn live; and IN yoif Inedi.
cinesI cured, me OF Consumption some three
years ago, want him to try them. gained
fifteen loynds while tak ing tho first TIRES bot
ties, and know Il Is Just tho thinR f0r him. y
'itH Respectfully, }. " HULL,
This remedy speaks FOR ITSELF, One bottlc
will satisfy the-inost skeptiraI. There Is not
a single symptom ofConstun ption that Il does
not dissiynte ut ,ence,r and twill. bpak hp a
fresh cold In ~ hours $3.50 per pint bottle.
Address CpADpODx 4 GO, lU32 kacc st Phil
adelellis Tao e o. 10 ~ ,sE,masiii'saD
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1881-03-15

The roar OF the howitzer echoed
throtghthe lonely forest, and the
savages, with frantic cries, Of pam
reeled down the ravine in wild con-
fusion. ~ 2
fHWhatiu thelhell did you put mr.
asked Mark. Y ~ VI A'ss sa5e'
"a column Of solid nonpareil and a
couple of sticks Of your spring po-
cry" ~ - F-l'-A'~' ~ Al
"Thc poetry did the business, Dan.
Get one Of your geographical articles
rcady'for the next charge and | guess
we'll let the red devils out for the pres,
ent campaign" ,y,,..,,-
1.-THE savages again advanced.
Mark attended to the powder, and
Dan assorted the shot so to speak.
rJecms Pipe's song. E"My noun
tain Home. - ~ s7sh e g y
Good for three Indians<sock'e or
in" uiRlk iiQ non 9Tgl
can acrostic, by John B. Ridge, in
Long Prlmmer. fCg
t"Itll paralyze 'em," tfgl q |
Crank Pixley,on the Constitution,
half column Of loaded brevier.''
"Ifit hits 'em the day is won." %
'Slour leader, on Law and Order"
G"Save 1t asia last resort."0
Dan pulled the type out Of the
boxes, and stuffed column after COLI
umn in the howitzer's mouth as the
savages came charging on Another
round from the gun, and the redskins
rolled over each other, like boulders
swept away by a mountain cloud
burst. Mark, in ecstacy Of delight
pulled an American flag out of its el-
fccts, nailedit to the tail board Of the
wagon, and was about to make a
speech, when the dusky figures of the
foe were once more seen M owing 10 the
| attack. ~ ,a3
The piece was again loaded, and
this time with a double charge
Marks leader on Law and order;;' the
1puff ofsn auction house, by Fred. Nc.
Crelish, 'as a sickener,' Dan said
Frank Gross's verses on "Thc RebeI
Yell" an agricultural article by Sam
Seabaugh, showing the chemical pro.
perties Of corn-juicc as, an educational
lever; a maiden poetioal effort by
/ Olive Harper, and some verses by Col
CEREMONY and Frank Sould completed
1.-The load. Sc cAJT & Ssl
The poetry reaching them first will
throw them into confusion and my
editorial coming on the heels Of the
rest will result in lasting demorali-
cation. 1t will DO like the last ca
valry charge Of the French troopers at
the battle of Austerlitz."
For the third and last time the
faithful old howitzer belched its ty-
biographical compliments to the adj
vancing foe. The havoc was terrible.
There wasa wild yell from score Of
savage tllroats, and then the low
groans of the dying aoated up the ra-
VINE on the gentle wind. The two
men walked over the field Of slaugh-
ter and counted fifty.six aboriginals
lying in heaps. The bodies were
horribly mutilated with nonpariel
bourgeois, caps misery dashes. and
unassorted pi.
"My leader cooked that mans
goose" said Mark pointing to a
savage hanging over the limb OF a
cedar. i8s'li is4'.'f Agle e"
. My geological article did Che bust.
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1881-03-15

on the olilos -...-7-.-sur
outer at the same door,
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1881-03-15
Rheumatism in Christian County,

lE0l HorKiNsvILLEsllY.,s bee. s,ls,1.
Icertify that have been suffering with the
rheumatism OF the spinal column for more
thanstwelve months, / had been itrcntcd BIZ
several Physicians without being cured. 1
was so bad on that for some time I could not
put ON my shoes. was induced to try DIR.
Raglantls Lightning Relief. which ii,hde 4
permanent cure In my case, -Four months
disease. .T7psb ~
5suds ri Oh NJ v. N. McRAE. ,
For sale by alldrugglsts In Hopkinsyille.
and by No g.: Miller, Pembroke, Ks. ~ " n
l'sp' f''i'S'iTS9"l. hus rosl7Hi9.I u
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1881-03-15

Many young girls are unit for active life,
and thousands Of mothers drsgs out atnisera-
bic eAistence on accountefa peculiara female
weakness which they absolute refuse to cure.
They are full Of aches and pains, are poor
weak, trail creatures, irregular each month
with pale faces. glaring eyes, shattered
nerves. andalniostvorn out constitutions. A
powerful combination has been prepared BY
the medical profession, for tho cure VI these
serious female complaints, and It's actionis
pronounced wonderful. IL Us known ns DIR,
Dromgoole's ENGLISH fENALE BIrTERs. d ~
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1881-03-15
| NgaSNuSNSISkSNNAIM

NssgHCS&ss EAASNyM
WS&A ins,, usv an t.ntis,s esies MI
M M lork eoafairisr, 80 e.ay ena. " vi
Vr,.<r4 isuing eAaIi.,.i 4 eest<isa wsnans.rS
W&tt1A sslssti-a ~ wife. fsnFsfsnsnp. esntshsAs
AL iscasl.lias, sufiis N wsu~a. t.ss sst ve,fE,t
Ai,ss 10 h1csfesn. Adtss V nastssa, Afs,ss y WIS
ffs.nuas, he eatsss, tshsff .nt Nsiiies.f seega4S
ess n... s...;. 10 ~. L. ..,. q. s. -
hs,s. lls-i rkss 4 u.sA a.asf b-.-. Is.eI
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.'ynE gRiyAIE MERicrfsh. lAspxiQkkE.sss..
cole lto. ALEC npasp,ni ofrhue. ternal pohinHs
- impotoncy, hen stlf'Atsse aaa kstsstt sessst
s@. k..;s.. s,.'. :. : -. -, -. -
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n fsaTf es1 teat1ihiaf ~ rAssA 40 sf~ -
lusirsisas. Ihs esntinsa yalsns IA p~rurey ~ -
parsaf Neiiss n.ah rsilisAsa fts asfAef - sgd
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q -lhox lss.-, fH.,s. s,;.p. ~. ps--sEk lts
pr, Bulls, ''I 49, e. 80
t,ess 49,. III ~ N sf.ti ~ Essss sssAhk,
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fshsns utstsd W Ihsa ~ snrsstt Ntctt pas.A 30
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eas " " .asWsfrty pAsse tsssisF ttssnsst ~fs-t 49,
afsa ,pf llrltes, fes teait ~ hs,isst nAs
nm. BUTfA ~ North sth S. ~ Ls,.i. ~.
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1881-03-15

Dan will attend to the matterin the
Spring. The OLD howitzer used on
Tie occasion is still in his possession.
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1881-03-15

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