The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1881-04-08
NUMBER A.
GREEK WIT.
Some Instances OF Fun FROM q SeriO1


Some Instances OF Fun FrOa serious
People.
A truly diadactic saying is attributed
by Klian to the Spartan magistrates.
"When certain persons from Clazomen@
had come to Sparta and smeared with
SCOT the seats on which the Spartan
magistrates sat discharging public du-
ties; on discovering what had been done
and By whom, they expressed no indig-
nation, but merely ordered public
proclamation to be made, Let it be law
full for the people of Clazomene to make
blackguards of themselves. >" A very
large number of apothegms, proverbs,
or sayings of more or less wit occur up
and down the collected works of Plutarch,
although Schneidewin does not hesitate
to attribute those to some imposter
usurping his name. At any rate they
are handily classified, and form bulky
addition to Mr.. Paley's translated
specimens. Here is q brief and bright
saying which this writer attaches to King
Archelaus, when talkative barber, trim
ming his beard, asked him; "How shall
/ cut it?" "In silence" replied the
King. The anecdote recalls one of
Charles lis Dragging BARRIERS. who
boosted to himhe could cut His Majesty
throat when he would-a boast for
which he was only dismissed; though
for like rash vaunt, according to Peter
Cunningham, the barber of Dionysius,
was crucified. To return to Plutarch,
he tells the following stories, both good
In their way, of Philip Macedon. In
passing sentence on two rogues he or
dered one to leave Macedonia with all
speed, and the other to try to catch him.
No less astute was his query as to q
strong position he wished to occupy,
which was reported by the scouts to be
almost impregnable.
SIS there not" he asked, seven a
pathway to it wide enough for an ass
laden with gold?"
Philip, too, according to Plutarch, is
entitled to the fatherhood of an adage
which retains its ancient fame about
calling a spade a spade" Another
sample of witty saying from Plutarch's
mint is that attributed to Themistocles,
that his son was the strongest man in
Greece.
For" said he, ''the Anthenians,
rule the Hellenes. Irule the Anthenians,
your mother rules me, and you rule your
mother.
We must cite one or two other of the
many examples from Plutarch. This is
attributed by him to Leotychidas, son of
Aristo. A snake having twined itself
round key, which was declared by the
seers to be portent, Leotychidas re-
marked: at would have been more of
a portent if the key had twined itself
round q snake" Others are connected
with ornithology, like the apothegm of
one who plucked the feathers from a
nightingale, and finding it very small
bird, exclaimed: "You little wretch,
you're nothing but voice." and again, the
repartee of Laconian to man of
Sparta, who twitted him with being I'M
able to stand as long as himself on one
leg. "No!'' replied the other, "but my
goose can" "When Demades, the ora
tor, remarked that the swords of the
Spartans were so short that they could
be swallowed by coniurers, Agis, the
younger king of that name, replied: we
find them quite long enough to reach the
enemy" An anecdote of Strabo gives
q vivid picture of the clashing of har-
per's performances with the sounding of
bell for opening of the fish market. Ali
the audience vanished at once save a
little deaf man. The harper expressed
himself unutterably fattered at his hav-
ing resisted the importantly of the fish
bell.
"What!" cried the deaf man, "has
the fish bell rung? Then, I'm of, too.
Good-byep