The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1881-11-18
WHY We LAUGH.


Man born of woman is of few days and
fnll of desire 10 assist some rich father-in-
law to squander his quarterly dividends.
A Tunisian necessty-Cesar had his Bru-
tus, Charles the 1. his Cromwell, and Tunis,
of course, Mustapha Bey.--LopeH Citizen.
Theodore remarked when Angelina's
father showed him off the doorstep that the
old gentleman had considerable push about
him. .a..1
On Greeniand's icy mountains there are no
cows. They make their ice cream up there
with whale blubber.-N. Y. Commercial
Adrertiser.
A college joke from the Trinity Tablet:
Fresh-'May have the pleasure ?" Miss
Society-"Oui." FIesh-"What does 'we'
mean P" Miss $40, U and l."
When boy was asked, "Where was the
text this morning." he quickly replied, "It's
somewhere in Hatchets." sIn Hatchets?
No, it was Acts" "Well, knew it was
somewhere that would cut"
reads: "Wanted-A compositor; one who
uses neither tobacco nor rum" So it would
appear that in some cities compositors actu-
ally use these vile things. 1t doesn't seem
credible.
sWhat Is the connection between heresy
and immortality ?" asks the Chicago Times.
The following example is given by the Com
mercial Advertiser "Immorality is stealing
ham, and heresy is believing that the ham,
and not the man, will be fried"
Timoleon comes home with hat that
sinks down to his nose. His wife is horri-
fed. "But, that thing don't fit you at all my
DEAR" 81 know it don't, and I told the hat
ter so. But he showed me his gold medal,
and what could do?"-French Paper.
+ A convict is liberated from the galleys af-
ter having served his term of Imprisonment.
"Well, goodbye" says the chaplain, who
has deeply interested himself in the pris-
oner, and has taken a real affection for him;
goodbye, and good luck, and try to come
back to us as soon as you can"
A New Jersey widow couldn't earn six
dollars week at the washtub. She became
clairvoyant and her income increased to
sixty. 1t just shows that man begrudges
the quarter he pays for washing his shirt,
while he will cheerfully give a dollar to
stick his nose into the other world before the
show begins.-Boone (Io,ca) Standard.
Remember, though box in the plural means
boxes,
The plural of OK should be oxen not oxes,
And remember though fleece in the plural
is feeces,
The plural of goose isn't gooses nor geeses
And remember though house in the plural
is houses,
| The plural Of mouse should be mice and moi
Mouse, it is true, In the plural is mice, ..r
But the plural of house should be houses
not hice.
And foot, it is true, in the plural is feet,
But the plural Of root should be roots and
not rect.
Maid Of Yonkers, ere we buss, tell me
will you make fuss?-N. Y. Ners. Maj
Of Gotham, ere you risk your life, tell me
will you inform your wife?-Yonkers Ga
zette. Maid of Hartford, ere Ipop, tell me
| will you faint or fiop?-HarGord Journal
Maid of Webster, ere we wed, who'll spill
the kindlings in the shed?-Webster Times
Maid of Camden, ere We mate, can't eve
stay out late?-Cdmden Post. Maid ofNew
ton, ere we hitch, tell me truly, are yot
| rich-Nepton Republican. Maid of Union
| adore-but tell me, honest, do you snore
| -Mopntain Sentinel. Maid Of Boise, err
we pair, tell me, do you wear false hair3-
| Idaho Statesman. Maid of Deer Lodge, err
we splice, are your nocturnal feet like ice9