The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1881-06-26
FA0ETLE.

A dog which won't run from an ele-
shant will break his back to get away
rom an oyster a n
A Ready Answer-Very red-haired
passenger: Il say, guard why on earth
don't the train go on?" ''Good gra-
sious, siri put your head in; how can
Tou expect it to 60 while that danger
signal is outP"
He was informed that a lady had
called to see him in his absence, "A
lady," he unused aloud; "a Lady,
Upon an accurate description, he sud
ienly Frightened up, and added; ''Oh,
DOT vas no LADY, dot a my WIFE"
A party of young fellows the other
night made a bet as to who could swim
The farthest. The next morning when
hey met at the rendezvous, one of them
carried a large bundle. What is
ihat?" asked the others. ''Victuals
for three days"
A wit fished a rich old gentleman out
IF a mill-pond, and refused the offer of
6 shilling from the rescued miser.-
''Oh. that's too muchi' exclaimed he;
''tain't worth itr' and he handed back
:ixpence. saying. calmly, as he pocketed
he remainder. that's about right"
A worthy banker has separated from
his wife. who is recklessly ~extravagant.
Presently he falls i'll and she sends to
inquire after his health. The maid was
ushered into the dying mans chamber.
and begins her message: my mistress
has SEN me to ask "For how
much?" says the dying man with a sigh.
Why is it that you never go to see old
Drinkhard any more?" .'Oh. the road
home is SO abominable long" at isn't
any longer than the road there" "Oh,
but it is-the road there is straight,
coming home it's c~rookeder'n a rams
horn"
I'm teach you to lie, and steal. and
smoke, and use profane language"
faid an irats parent to his eldest Off
spring. at the same time swinging a
good-sized sapling. I'm teach you.
you young scamp" Never mind,
father; l know all them branches al
ready"
He was saying. Oh he scratched o lu-
offer on the side Of . house. II like
these houses with sanded paint; nice
when you want to strike o match. you
know" 'Is that sor" she asked de-
murely-.I wish l lived In q house
with sanded paint andthon she looked
things unutterable. II no had asked
..What fora" she would have hated
him. But he didn't; he took the hint,
and the match was struck then and
there,
ibid you break that window, boyp"
aid the grocer. catching hold Of the
fleeing urchin. Yes. sir" What
dye mean. then. by running of in this
mannerf" 'sPlease, sir, l was running
home to get the money. I was 'fraid
II 1 didn't run quick I might forget"
And with that he skipped round the
corner. He doubtless found his way
home, but he probably lost his way
coming back. The grocer still waits
and watches.
A Present--A dramatic editor Of Q
French paper had occasion recently to
criticize severely tho performance Of .
somewhat popular actress. Shortly
afterwards the lover Of the young lady
met the Journalist in the theater, and
presented him with . package of goose
uuills.-"This, SIR" said he, 'is q pres
ent from Miss X."-"Whatr' exclaim-
ed tho critic, "did she tear all Of these
out Of you herself? How you must
have sufferedr'
William Thompson. the once famous
Maori chief, adopted a shrewd method
OF deciding which one Of his two sons
should succeed him. As they stood be-
fore him as he lay sick unto death. he
suddenly addressed himself to the elder
saving: SHORTHAND, take down that
gun and shoot the white man standing
outside the hut" Tho youth was about
70 obey the order readily enough, when
his brother interviewed with: "Why
should you kill the man? what harm has
he done to use" Then said the old
chief: Eyes. that IL right. You have
what is wanted-sense and discretion.
You will take my place when I am
gone" And so the succession wa set-
Had.