The Hickman courier. [volume] (Hickman, Ky.) 1859-current, 1881-12-16
HUMORs OF THE DAY.

ABUNDANCE, like want, ruins many ;;
however, let us risk it on the abundance. :
''DoN'T give me weigh" pleaded
the fat girl when invited to step ON the
scales.
WHEN a girl rejects an offer of mar
riage she goes through sleight of hand
performance.
THE end to be attained in the invest
ment of money is the divid end.-Ste,s-
5enUiKe Herald.
If GEORGE WASHINGTON cannot have a
monument he has had a pie namedfor
him, and that is better.
sAN.oTsD negro says s'Sass is power
full good in everything but children.
Dey need some other kind OF. dressing"
THE editor who called Chicagoa Chris
tian country ought to be better posted
in religious geography Boston Times.
s'PRrDE goes before a fall. Trus
enough. but a pint of corn whisky can
give pride hundred and beat it every
time.
AN EDITOR wrote a personal about
young man going to spark his girl.
When it was printed he was Mortified to
see the letter E'n" substituted for the
''r" in the word spark Whitehall
Times.
"HAvE a place for everything and
everything in its place" Somehow or
okher this won't work we have big
place for our wealth, but We'll be hanged
if we can put it there; we haven't 1t =
EUaasUiLe Argus.
"DoEs our talk disturb you?" said
one of a company of talkative ladies to
an old gentleman sitting IN railroad
sstation. the other afternoon. No,
ma'am," was the naive reply, "I've been
married night on to forty years. Hart
fora Times.
"WHl1 / die let me be buried in the
stove, so that my ashes may mlngle with
the CRATE, y says the paragrapher OF the
Boston Star. In the stove the gentle
mans ashes will scarcely mingle with
the CRATE the chances are he will gently
simmer as a base burner.
A MILLER In Peru, Ind, fell asleep in
his mill and bent forward till his hair
/ got caught in some machinery and was
+ yanked out and, of course, it awakened
him, and his first bewildering exclama-
ton was: "Durn it, wife, what's the
matter now ?"-Bost0n Post.
A VERY gushing young lady turned to
! Mr.. Snap and asked him in passionate
tones: "Oh-ah-Mr. Snap, tell me !
What-what-is your idea of real happi-
ness?" Mr. Snap-"Never reached the
full meaning of the word, yet, but
guess pork and beans would cover the
/ ground.
"YoU are on the wrong tack, said the
pilots wife, when the hardy son of the
loud-sounding sea sat down on it and
arose with the usual ordinations.
"No,'' he replied, after critical exami-
nation, 'l'm on the right tack, but shoot
me dead if / amt on the wrong end OF
it. Huntington HaWkeye.
Have some more of the pie, urged
Mrs. Slobson to her boarders, who OBJ
stinately refused Again she urged
them, adding: "If you don't eat it III
have TO throw it away. 1t won't keep
much longer" Strange to say, theil
appetites departed. This is one Of the
amenities of boarding-house life.
WHEN you are coming up the cellar
stairs with a bucket of coal IN one hand
two pies and plate Of butter in the
other, and loaf of bread under eacl
arm, it is exceedingly trying to YOU
Christian fortitude to have a woman vel
down and caution you not to forget thu
preserves on the swinging shelf IN thu
corner of the cellar, next to the curren
Jelly. Been there, haven't you?- wa
Transport Breakfast Table.