Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1881-04-07
Burdett and the SOClable Strau.
ger.

t. j. Burdeft in the Burlington. Hawkeye.
He 1.-THE Jesterl had just composed
himself for nap, when the stranger
came and sat down beside him, crowd
ing him into the cor ger of the seat, and
opened the engagement at short range,
unlimbering and going into battery
with the remark:
you was at our place, but some of my
neighbors went. Going to Youngs-
town?
Wearily the doomed Jester said that
he was.
The stranger said that he was glad Of
that, as he was going there too, and he
liked to have company. Going to lee
ture Tonight"
The Jester moaned affirmatively.
The stranger said::he wasn't going TO
the lecture, he guessed he'd hunt up
some Of the boys and have some fun.
And by this time, having obtained the
exact range, he kept up the incessant
fire of clack, clack, clack. "What was
the subject of the lecture? Was it good:
How many lectures had he? Did he
know Mark Twain? Was his lecture
as good as Eli Perkins? How did he
like lecturing? Lecturers charged too
much; no man could honestly earn more
than SO day i'm any business. He
thought Mr.. Cook was the best lecturer
he ever heard. Humorous lectures
were generally failures. weren't they?
He thought SO. He rarely went to hear
one. He went for instruction and solid
information, himself. Mr.. Jester was
much older looking man, he said, than
he had expected to see. His Autographs
fiattered him most extravagant1y.-
What was the name of his paper? Was
he still connected with il? Didn't write
any for it, did he? The stranger had
never seen copy of it, but would like
to. Could he send him some copies Of
it? Here was his address on this card.
Tell him few funny stories to pass
away the time. Come, that's it, tell us
some funny stories. Didn't know any?
There was a young fellow in their town
could. If that young man would just
20 on the platform, the stranger think
there was a humorist i'm America could
compare with him. He was by all odds
the funniest man he ever heard talk.
Oh, he was very funny. What was
the Detroit Free Press mans name?
Lewis? oh yes, Lewis. Was he mar
ried? How old was he? The Free
Press was a much better paper than
the HdWkeye, wasn't it? He didn't
per very much, anyhow. People were
beginning to grow tired of it. How
long did the lecture season last? Did
Mark Twain lecture now? Why not?
Who was the worst. Didn't think the
Jester looked much like a lecturer.
One time, the stranger said, Mark
Twain lectured in church and the
audience was very quiet and solemn
and he couldn't fetch them and at last
he gave up in despair and when the
lecture was over, an old deacon came
to him and said, "Mr. Twain, declare,
two or three times it was all / could do
to keep from burstin' out laughin'!"
Ha, ha, ha! See! You see, they
thought because it was in church
they had to keep solemn and sober.
See? Do you like to travelp Don't
you get awfully lonesome on the cars?
It was awfully tiresome to travel un-
less you had some one to talk to. What
did he think of Garfield? VennOr hit
it pretty close on the weather, didn't
he? But he missed it about half the
time. Conkling was a mighty smart
man. 1t wouldn't do for Garfield to
tackle old Conkiing. 1t was going to
snow again. Winter wasn't over yet
by no igleans. 1t had been a mighty
long, cold winter. Tell you what, IL
there wasn't buzz, buzz, buzz, cl ack,
clack, clsck, buzz, buzz, buzz. clack,
clack, clack.
When the train finally stopped at
Youngstown, they lifted the stricken
Jester out of the car, and chased the
pleasant stranger away from him with
club. And when they sat around the
pleasant Are at the good old Tod House,
they asked him why he seemed to think
so pensively.
II was just thinking" the Jester
said, jing1ing the sweet bells a little
out of tune as he fitted on the cap,
what sweet, quiet, dark, lonesome,