The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1881-04-16
ME. Ann MIA, spOOpENDYKg
Have n Conversation on the POIItIca
Situation.

on, ofIull 1t in; who is this Congressman
Lock who has just dieGW
"What Congressman LoCk?' asked Mr.
5pOopendyke.
"Why, l road In the paper this morn.
ing that they couldn't do any business be-
cause Of the dead Mr., Lock, Did you know
him?"
"ThNt amt q Congressman" said Mr.,
q deadlock in the Senate, Wasn'tthat it2'
Eyes, nnd | read II all through, and
when found that Mr., Conkling felt 81
bad about it, thought Mr.. Lock must be
u Congressman"
mo, he isn't, either. The deadlock
meana that the Democratic and Republic
cans can't agree"
"Good grSCious Have they had another
falling out? | shouldn't think the Re
IpuhIiCSus would Fight the poor Democrats
any more, VIVA! have they been doing
now"
"rhey haven't been doing anything
Senator Malone, Of Virginia, went over
to The Republicans, and"
II see," interrupted Mrs, Spoopsndyke,
land Mr.. COnkliDg won't have him con
tirmed. Though can't understand why
they should interfere with Mr., Mahonuil
religion. II the poor man wants to join
tho church l."
"Who wants 10 Join the church, Who's
q church? Think MIR. Oonklings BishopI
Got an idea he's All altar s'pose he'a q
dOd gasted chapel with ivy all over him, q
spike fence, and chime Of bells? lts
Stanley Matthews he don't want CON
tirmed."
~ read about him, too" reioined Mrs
Sp0opendyke. "He's Mr.. Garfeld's Col
lector, isn't hs?"
mo, he amt. That's Judge Robertso D.
Mr., Garfield wants Judge Robertson for
Collector, and Mr.. COnkIing Is opposed to
him"
~ don't see why he should be. Though
Of course | should suppose Mr., Garfield
would rather have man like Malone,
who is going into the Church"
where's your ssnse?" snorted Mr..
Spoopendyke. "What dye want to mix
things up for? Trying to make grsbsbag
Of prominent Americana Stanley Mat,
thewB is candidate for Judge. Mr.. Malone
IS a Senator, and Robertson 10 appointed
Collector, but, like Matthews, hasn't been
confirmed. Can you SEQ through that?"
"Ot course, ! understand that; but !
don't see any excuse for fighting the Dem.
ocrats, unless they think that Mr.. Robert.
aon would col leCt money from Mr.. MShone,
aud Mr.. Matthews would send him to jail.
10 that case 1t would"
an that case It would take you to
straighten EN- out2" rquealed Mr., SPOop'
endyke. "WhatTe you trying to get up
now, an idiot asylum? Arc you planning
for murder aud trying to get up an III.
sanity pIea2 What dye think Robert.
sons going to collect heus2 Got q no.
ton that Matthews Is q peniIentiaTy, sit.
ting around 10 DO leased out2 lmsglne
Malone to DO the National debt2 Well,
they amt; they're men, tell ye. Men
with lego" and Mr.. Spoopendyke kicked
out both hig own loot handles by way Of
Illustration. "Oonkling Is opposed to
Matthews and Robertson. He says they
shan't be confirmed, but he is friend Of
Malone"
"That'a what l didn't see, said Mrs.
Spoopendyke. ~ am glad Mr.. Malone
will be confirmed, though don't care for
Mr.. Matthews and Mr.. Robertson. II will
teach them to repent their sins and not lily
into the face oil Providence. I'm glad MIR.
Uonklng Ia good EpisCopalian."
"0hI he's a prayer. book" howIed Mr..
SpOopendyke. you've found him out
You've got himl All he wants Ia red
cushion and rack nailed up In front Of
him 10 be dOd gasted mourner's bench
Didn't | tell you no was a Sonator2 DO you
know what a Senator is2 Its something
shaped like a pie, a measly pie! UCder'
stand 1t now?" =,
"Aud Is Mr.. Malone Senator, too
asked Mrs. spoopendyke, new light
dawninR upon her.
mo, he amt a snnstor!" grinned Mr..
spoopendykej "he's a lightniDgrOd to
keep bowling idiots from falling over
board. Begin to sec into III Aud they
want him confirmed, 80 Il he finds any
dod. led old female named Spoopendyke
stopping into q canal he'll alan Q church
on tnp Of her Get the idea?"
"Upon my word, my DEAR" remonstra'
ted Mrs. Spoopsndyke, "yoG talk exttava.
gently. Mr.. Malone may fight Demo.
Gratis, but be would never 90 around
throwing churches at women. ! don't
know Mr.. Malone, but dOn't believe he
would do thing OF that kind. As for Mr..
Matthews and Mr.. Robertson, they know
their business beat, and II they have
abused Mr.. Uonkling, would never read
one OF Mr.. Matthews decisions, and Mr..
Robertson might call here every day for a
month and ho could never even collect a
paper bill. don'tthink lie right to trust
lsrch men with the contribution box, and
| know the Missionary ladies would never
permit him to collect the subscriptions"
"That'B iii" yelled Mr.. Spoopendyke.
"Theres the science oil government All
you went now Ia a saloon In the basement
| 10 be The National Capitol What you
need Ia A pas.meter and q veto to be an i'm.
proved White llousel When Robertson
comes here for the milk bill, you pay him,
YOU hear? And when Matthews is Justice
Of the Peace for Brooklyn, you have Cunk.
ling arrested for stealing coal, you hear
That'll fetch II. You've got the Idea nowl
All you want 10 do iS to live all Summer
in the Soldiers Home to be complete ad.
ItninistfatiOnl II I had your vision I'd get
up on three sticks and hire out 40 tele.
sCopel" ,.......-..
"Ot course, I'll do what you say" re:
Piled Mrs. spook enly Ike, submiSsively, and
lii Mr., Conkiibg should take some Of our
coal, unless II was by mistake, ! should
certainly feel like complaining Of him. II
Mr., Robertson comes l will pay him,
though the milk is not ss good as the first
We got. Perhaps Mr.. Matthews will FIX
: that when he gets 10 be Justice. Do you
think Mr.. Malone will come too"
"Comel" shfleked Mr.. spoopendyke, "oI
course he'll come. He's liable TO be here
any minute. He's burglar, | tell you
and be may come over the back fence to-
! night! Look out iOf him-1 think l heat
him tiowl" and Mi. spoopendyke fell
> clear over himself into bed and pulled The
clothes over his head.
NOV | understand why they have |
: dead lock-" unused Mrs. spoopendyke
pushing the table against the door, as
pFpCaution sgalnst the mareuding Malone
I'll "a Al -. . = - . - n a nit hla nm haF alhnW