davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1881-02-04
The 0nIv Pure and Reliable.

Owes its great reputation to the ppy proportions
of it's ingredients which have cOnstit uted ii
approachable and indispensable remedy for
Constipation, Indigestion, distractions, Piles 3,
Chronic Disorders of the Stomach, Liver and
Bowels. Gout, Plethora, Rush OF Blood to
the lead, Hvpocondria. Melancholy,
Lsssitude, Impurities of the Blood
AMI Skin, ErUPtions and
BlOtches.
1t improves the appetite, keeps the head clear.
the blood cool: but never debilitates.
Its efficiency can be proven by the testimony of
hundreds of the best physicians, including the
most emient ones of this day.
For want of space we here give the certificates
Of Sir HENRY THOMPSON and PROP. VoN LIEBIG:
'.As an occasional aperieat and corrector of d.
gestion, know nothing equal to FRIFDRICHsuALI.
1t leaves the patient rule lees constipAted af
ter disseminating than he was before, and may be
taken babtually without lowering the system"
SIR HENRY THOMPSON.
The testimony Of Baron Won Liebig places the
Bitter Water of FriedrichshslI among the most eff
carious in Europe, and whose great value must be
recognized by all who have experienced its salu-
tary and beneficial effects.
DOSE-One or two VINE glasses full before
breakfast For sale by Grocers and Druggists.
the trade supplied by the Sole Agents.
BOUCHE Fills & 90.
81 Beaver Street, NEW YORK.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1881-02-04
Liver REGULATOR.
Will TT CURR nh !?

Said a man, whose wo bego1e counte-
nance and broken down constitution
plainly show ed traces of disease-a SUI
ferer with Nervous Dyspepsia, in
whose stomach the most delicate morsel
lay like lead. Refreshing sleep and
quiet nerves were strangers to him and
he diepaired OF ever being well.
We sdyised him TO take
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1881-08-25
LONGINGs.

ri we're railroad brakeman.
I'd holler the stations so plain 2sss ss
That the man who was going to Texas
Would 20 clear through to Maine
I'd open the door of the smOking-car,
And I'd ave such mighty roar, a
That the passengers back in the sleeper
Would all fall out on the Hoe.
For couldn't afford a tenor voice,
And couldn't afford to speak
In the sweet, soft tones of folian harps
For eleven dollars week.
If was abaggage-master, 4gl la
I'd rattle the trunks about
I'd stand them up in the corner,
And I'd tear their bowels out;
Iwould pull the handles out by the roots:
Iwould kick their corners in,
And strew their stuffing all round the car,
And make them lank aud thin.
For couldn't afford to wear kid gloves
Norput soft pads on my feet. EASF
Nor to handle things gently, when all nv nav
Just kept me in bread and meat -
I'll we're railroad conductor,
As thraugh the train 1 q go,gst wzA
I'd have for every question they asked
This answer all ready: sDon't know"
I'd miss connections for lots of men,
I'd run lone passengers past;
Id tell athem twas eight when knew twas
ten, Il = ~
And I'd swear their watches were fast.
For eouldn't afford to be civil, -. .ssss
When knew every man in the load
Would look at my watch and ring, and say,
He stole them things from the road
Burlington HdiUlt- Enc.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1881-08-25
NUMBER "a.
SCHOOL AND CHURCH.

l. No opium smoker Is admitted to
church membership by any Christian
mission working in China.
n More copies of the Scriptures were
sold in Japan in 1880 than in all the
years since it was open TO Christian CIV
ilization.
Professor William T. Reid has been
elected President of the University of
California He has had considerable
experiences as teacher in the East and
in San Francisco. ss.s $50 ,a. s.
q Nearly all OF class of fifteen grad
uating from the United Presbyterian
Seminary at Xenia, Ohio, have volun-
lteered their services as foreignmission-
aries, but for the lack of funds only
two can be sent out, one to Egypt and
another to India.
The completed returns of the En-
glish Wesleyan Church show that ithas
$50, 922 members IA net increase of
4, 2A. Over 0,000 new members were
received. OF the net increase Ills
were gained in London. There are
seventy-nine candidates for the min
istry. slSss Z taat @alag
According to acorrespondentoft the
National Baptist, there are more than
100000 colored members of Baptist
churches in the United States. In South
Carolina, Georgia. and Eastern Texas
three Of the Sunday school missionaries
of the Baptist Publication Society re.
port that sl5a Sunday-schools were or
ganized last year. 8 slss' ssi'''
MIR. Emerson many years ago, in
the DAYS of Transcendentallsrn, supplied
for long time pulpit in East Lexing-
ton, Mass. The Rev. DR.. Hedge, who
was then young preacher in Maine,
came to Lexington and preached for
several Sundays. Al lady OF the con-,
gregation, SAYS the Literary World, was
asked how Mr.. Hodge was liked. .sO,"
said she. 9"we are very simple people
Emerson - gts8 tar'i
while the Mormons are sending
their missionaries all over. the civilized
world in quest of converts and recruits
the various Christian denominations
are doing their best to evangelize Utah.
The Presbyterians have forty-four mis-
sionaries in the Territory; eleven of
these are clergymen, the others being
teachers. About $25, 900 year is spent
in the salaries of these missionaries
and about $40. 900 more in erecting new
church and school buildings The Con-
gregationalists have two ministers and
i've teachers. They have recently re-
ceived an endowment of $50, 900 for ed
ucational purposes. The Episcopalians
maintain aliberal outfit of church, school
and hospital work. The Methodists
have ten ministers and eight teachers,
some of whom receive only twenty dolse
lars month salary. The Woman's
Home Missionary Societ contributes to
this work. and the regular missionary
fund of the Church. appropriates $6, 200
a year. Utah is considered by judicious
missionaries one of the most hopeful of
all fields. Many of the people there are
80 disgusted with Mormonism that they
are ready to accept almost any form OF {
faith that offers relief from it..
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1881-08-25
The Vail and the Lightning. Rod.

Spiridon Gopeyich, in ibis amusing
book upon Upper Albania, accounts for
the dilapidated state Of Sctftari Castle
by the following narrative, the anthens.
ITCHY of which he guarantees: In the
spring of 1874 the Vail Scutari hapbefietf
to hear that a hundred years or so a6o
Giaour named Franklin had invented
an instrument by the judicious use OF
which lightning strokes might be, ren-
dered harmless TO human life and prop
erty. Forthwith lie resolved to be pos
sessed of one of those wonder working
contrivances, but, upon. inquiring its
price, he found that the resources of.
his exchequer would not avail to, defaag
the cost of a complete apparatus. He
therefore ordered from abroad the siagi
perfieial portion Of Q lightning cmdnets
or, deemlng. its subterranean compile
ment OF wires superhuous, and when IL
arrived caused it to be set up exactly
over the powder magazine of the castle,
in order to insure perfect immunity
from electrical dangers to the explosive,
contents OF that repository. An un-
usually long spell Of fine weather. stlo-n
ceeded the erection of the instrument,
much to His Excellency S yexation !, but
at length, one sultry day, heavy clouds
gathered rapidly over Scutari, and the.
exultant Vail, fortunately for himself.
hurried down the citadel to the bowngsa
ordea. to watch the effect sof. the, first.
flash from a window Of his seral, COM
maniing a fine view ofathe lightnings
conductor. He had not long to wait
for coup that surpassed his widest
expectations. A fiery streak darted
from the sky, followedby tremendous
conclusion, and when the smoke cleared
off it was the Pasha's melancholv privi.,
lege to behold his beloved citadel in
ruins. The Vali's modification may av be
better Imagined than described, iespesl
cially when it reached his ears that a
leading notable of Scutari, commenting
upon the result OF his scientific expefi-
ments, mad observed: .sGod is Great.
and the Vail is an ass! He has swai-s
lowedthe Giaour's dirt. and paid them
for it to boot. His face is. hlackened
forever. Allah's will be done! e iiesl
.asa4a y
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1881-08-25

Lone u The most Important places
s0f sdaeAtien In Paris now is the .Alsa-
stian College. It dates from 1873, and
was ffst opened in q shop in the Rue
sdes Ecoles, aTo-daTl il includes some
2oO.pupils. 1t grew out of q determi-
nati0n establish place Of education
where physical science should occupy
the ground hitherto absorbed by the
classics. which the older Universities
resolutelg, sefnsed to, permit. .5as.,. :
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1881-08-25
PUNaENT PARAGRAPHS.

"a 4
The ear ornaments worn by the
women of America are worth $65, 00o.-
600. Nature thought she knew her.
business when she rounded of womcn's
ears, but that tewnshipi. went back on
her by q large majority. --Detrp9 Fred
Press. ~ ss'stsF a
s'i had always supposed, = said Mr.
Bfudderby, twirling his eyeglasses with
an air Of resignation, that the Ger.
man was the richest of modern Ian.
guages, but after I got married dis.
covered that the English was. ~ Brook
Ign Eagle. ~ y sissfsi slsJaT gssn la u II
-r can very well express. which
it-what there-I do not-you are very
i am not, sir, unsensible the fact
isl said the diflident man. sutidenly
called to his feet for q speech at pub
lie dinner, sl'can't mike d speech and
II can't say anything Il would under
stand or you would wish to hear, but If
1t pleases you to see the blush and
sweat, / will stand here on one leg and
perspire for the next ten min6tes.,,
They Jet him off, Bswliagton ,Hawk-
Eye. s. ss
d Billy Gogganheimer, whose father
keeps q liquorlstore ON Austin avenue. i
could not understand his arithmetic les
son. He could not grasp the mystery
Of fractions. n Now, Rilly,n said the !,
teacher, :. suppose a man wants to buy
q gallon OF wine, which Is four dfiarts,y
but your father has only three quarts
what would he do? How many quarts
would he still need to fill mp the gallon
measure?'' He wouldn't need any,
responded Billy. "He would put
quart OF water in the measure first and
thenthe three quarts would fill it up to
the top. - Isras Siftings. s
4 How TO Make Beefsteak Tender .4
The best and most thoroughly certain
way to make your beef lender is to
stand in with the boy who drives the
butchers wagon. discovered this
while living. next door to d fniilionaife
who dealt with the meat man who sup.
piled me The boy driving the wagon
was corrnptible, like the steaks les
served and fifteen cents or. SO would
transfer the tenderness OF the million
aires forty cents a pound porteTlsouse
to my bundle of eight-ceut round. Then
I would whet my appetite listening to
the millionaire hired girl wall0ping
the other cut with rolling pins, ETC., as
advised by Mrs. Leslie By changing
butchers as often as the millionaire did
secured tender beef until my lease ex-
pired. Two weeks before this, however
the millionaire died with lockjaw, in
duced, the doctors said, by attempts to
chew tough meat. IisiloGlelplsiq Cltrov.
icle Herald,
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1881-08-25
Form Of the Lightning. Rod.


The subject Of the, proper form of
one among scientific men, has recently
been experimentaiiy sinxestigated by
Mr. w H. Rreeee,owith stAe result Of
confirming the position of Faraday,, that
the section OF q rod IL the essential eIeSl
ment. The ad dyocatess Of sods ofslArge,.
surface, such. as ribbons. tubes, etc,
among whom was the late PfoE. Hehry,El
conclude from .the, fact THAT sta tic,
electricity resides upon the surface,
that electricity aef Nigh tension, ,ssaeh as
a lightning discharge, iss,bettarG con,
Quoted away by a large extent OF sur
face. Mr.. Preeee stated that ne direct
experiments had, ssoss TAR as he, was.
aware, ever been made TO settle the
questions which was Sans 'i1lportant one,
as the acceptance of the surface theory.
had led to The employment Of insight
ly and costly yconducto sswhenafs Simple
rod would answer all spurposes. The.
experiments were " = made II f the 81 iabora-
tory of Dr. della Rue, and dEhadethe nd
vantage of hiss advice and assistance.
In the first experiment. copper conduct
ors thirty feet in length in thesfgrmiof,
a solid rod. q thin tube and ribbon. each
OF precisely the same mass, were used.
The electricity waseob obtainedsfrom Sy24 24Ds
ehloride=of-silyer cells, and gaccumplar.
ted IN d condenser 81 ! capacity d 45. q
micro sfarads.o The sudden aiseharoeyofs
this quantity Of electricity produced ro-
suits similar IN character to ifohtninp.
Il was capablesofr couhplefely efiagras
ting two and o half inches Of platinum.
wire of .0125 inch diameter, and of
raising to- differents degrees 6f fincanslesv.
scence greater lengths, ,,Such wire, af-
liked to d white card ~ as to record
the effectsWas used 10 measure the slisvs
charge after it had passed through the
conductor. 2 Eath form of conducstof
gayeexaotlys the samazresultsiSe the de
fagration and heating of the platinum,
showing that different extenfs 6f sur 20
face had no effect gkAseitssmiSbtsb
thought that, in copper conductors of
such length as THOSE shsed, Sdffefe ences
in eonducti could not ebesreadly.de-e
tected, the experiments were repeated
with Head conductors, the resist sfanacesJso r.
which weEestwelYe times. that aficeppers.
with the same results: An experiment,
to determine how. closely variations in.
the discharges could be estimated, Shows
that;a change of resistance ofsfFe pefs
cent. could have. been easily-detected.
Mr.. Preece,s thetefofe, concludes that
nos nlore MISUNDERSTANDING 4eduaactors
than simple rod or. wire rope can be
Z des4haiit itososss ~ 1sssd sdpasSs. vFsa
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1881-08-25
A, South American Earthquake.

| tHara as in nfhar Sonth A~nor;,o,,
fown tbe IN AIT. -a s1,,,, -, ,.a
.hh;,a .ssar.as-thamaLs. tor o.; .;o~ " ~ ~,
necnl;ar s;t,,at;or - ,a r;oa "lS 49, - wy ny
u S,,a1 a1oa,,;s - 9 ~ ~
f,.nr, 80 na..h 81 S 49, NC MasSs S.I uunln
Lhara - 1see;a i s t 1ar. snp Sossll ne.
:. : s9.s =. oDnliuellce, ne.
~ n snas.ar So11 .s s,1m oae
|fhe Iata irn;Ias $500 Gaa g sI lie M wss' M
RI NrgsbtrSsSa ~sro az sa fn.in ~ !" !
no,n,t ss ..a,oa ~ g. ;a:Jas.a. "a .oo "o
ii 81 nd T. yd,n "a f;,,s ,s'ss1 : sasJ
Oh, ,o,,s Ss;,a s,sa siS u i, no, W
~ m.J [ oha % vnhlcn 4h ln'o .ne sslee.'
EfelI Fell 4 hardlv vI1 tbe rsnrJ i nee ofor fl,
thew wefe EIntvn mt I as ftbev n had I naan ~.
sns3 at me- Az tHa | ssma m t;n;s @ naa tha assh useh
sepensd nrobab,v III two , - t three % ;nehas Iai =
and NeIei,4a nnf d,,ss accor,n ~ s,,;ad u,;tl sl'
] tar.;hla stanoh as as nl,da. dn.u m1tn III =
air hecame day ansd s - an5 om oa;,,d ne ~
sac mn ;fs LEI u ~.
If me With tha ch;idron T r. AZ .Mo hs5 LoeI
lasted anv t;na a. - ~ sno.L @ me- nav. mau
have su uffnyssfed Int =, a cSs,,,s Is o.;,'
lsT,tas - >olaarad nH " C~',ta.;' p,e =. u.ln-
shonse hnld sfngatbar ua startaJ1 Il. az
FHns,sss,s, ,.a,,., so,,;ns.
houses where we S % ~ rnen strsoh ad da,,,g
some stone XIX NJ & al sd : !.
ia ma q s,,s.1sts,,s [ t,,t ,or.;s,.i p.or;
ssf]enca was over ns @ W. wandad loaa. ~.
sad NAV a. Veil ID we conid tows =. tpa t,,a
bilIsGSy:ss, ;ss,.th % AZ W. a,a 'u~a;us '..e
stacre, like drunken naenla ~ mhan ua .
.crefR c,!v Ven 4 mn ~ iaauen h.cr, III Il
n stfhesfnwS u. THO s.F,.. h.,s ,,.t;roan Lra ="
Efied on hrt hafora @ ~s.t - a,,o o,,t.,;u., Iu1
Iilooked hacl and ssw ai III The o"vo yoSsaIs ~. y
= The H. | sa'sa.,;d .sa 80" a. ny vesseis y
Sea 'nrohahly with sneed ss.,y ~ .an ',;,ea g
an hts,S III fyu Il n, - . Az, ~ r,,s,e
outs .,,,rrarts. ! as oanaJ I. TI,a .oas
enicbtv wave@T sbnnId ;ndna ~. : ho,,t s;f+ =
f9aR nh . s,,us1t aIus li.ss
s;stlass s.,a,s asrr.;mo 5mo w.;n ,;.h
tit in ;ts avn, ma;sstx 1,g "a bInnh I WY, VII
ali a the sE;nS;Tr aoaa ] n ~ fba = ,a.sas SeM
fsrn;no e;.at I ~ aS,,, =. Il,o d lsss.df
sirro on Ia an ;nay;tsble DOOM Resn Re.n
.whifc }bes wysalyg- Had lnasse,l IN sscr;s3,ed
"'o AAssU PeS7oou IA. o1uoucu
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1881-08-25
ssagm Mere EermaIity."

. lHqaiEY WAS yesterday made for, Mr..
Vanderbilt at the offices in the Union
Dep0t by D man swfio aseemed to have
slept AZ nights UNDER o stairwaya and
breakfasted upon nothing. When told
that che railway Ming lived In New Yort
he asked for the Vice President of the
ICentral Road. The Vice President
being 40ats OF town. he asked for the
Genersl Manager. i,,T This officer was
;salso absent, and The stranger continued:
: :" Perhaps the Assistant Superintend.
aent could see to the business Is he in p''
y mo, sils asfien n6h'fabe sin until to-
morrow"
NCoalan 4 sesatheo General Ticket
n sHis6nice'isup Bownsr sA as
= The maawalked to and fro in an abr
sent manner for a minute and then
sasked. sn SOL fssssfa. 1efs tlss sN ysG0sg
!, sWoAlA lido any good for me to ask
d ssfe0y sif.,' ~ sstfiofisfl Iliw - 8fsT
i :ses " Aalt e. ysa there s'''om % sasis .
.als'fhsFstKsasass possibleseBsnce for
mAt9estRPass a'sSiaaonoas 81 SD
, ,2Woaidl stahd any show to beat d
noaeAss !. 8 : ''as.a ~ syssi, - ~ asGeieas /,
: ssHdS would shea top Of a freight
Train wprk 'hassnaa.e au;d.an s @sss
! :. You d be put off at once.
aaVellg ie ssH right. My ssyle Of rid
inais salMaBs on thesy trucks, anyhow,
and OTlv callpI mr., hn,.o ruf ofS v,,rro
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1881-08-25

-Lung Wing, of the Chinese EN-
bgssy at Washington, is teaching
class OF forty Celestials telegraphy,
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1881-01-06

gret at getting such a vast amount
of enjoyment and instruction for the
pitiful sum of twenty-five cents. II
the tickets were a dollar, here's one
would attend.
China was placed before the audi
ence as had been Japan. The lecturer
exhibited medium sized ball which
contained nine other balls the smallest
being about the size of pea, and the
whole a wonderful piece of artistic
workmanship. He said it cost $500
and took five weeks to make it. The
lecturer informed the audience that be
would not make one for So. so. Having
diamond he wished to have matched
he visited the leading diamond merch-
ant of the empire at Canton; ushered
into a room so small that three people
would crowd it, he there met an old
man, whose entire outfit in the cloth
ing line would bring about seventy
five cents, and whose safe and office
furniture, would bring little more,
he asked if he could get diamond
matched. The merchant took the dia.
mond from Colonel Sanford (which by
the way the Colonel thought very
fine one] and said he could match it in
! case he happened to have stone OF
such small dimensions, if the gentle
man would be kind enough to help
him open his safe by kicking on the
door as he had boots on, while the dia-
mond merchant was bootless, although
as the sequel shows not booty-less.
After great amount of kicking and
pulling the burglar fire-proof-safe was
opened, and the merchant took there
from diamonds and precious stones OF
untold value, one notable one being
worth EGO, 900 or about 100000. This
immense wealth was wrapped up in old
rags; selecting the smallest and dirtiest
looking rag and taking therefrom the
smallest and most inferior looking dia-
mond, he matched the Colonel's ele.
CANT ~ stone and placing the old rags
back in the safe, slammed the door to
and waited for the next customer. This
mans father, grandfather and great.
grandfather had been ia the same busi-
ness, which had been established for
hundreds of years. Tonight Col. San
ford will lecture on "Ronle, or Wand
erings in Sunny Lands" Don't fail
| to hear him.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1881-01-06

and while gazing at it's gigantic pro-
portions he thought Of what he was
saying now, and now as he thinks Of
that celebrated place with its great
seating capacity he mentally figured
how much the audience in the Court
House would bring at 80 cents q
head or, better, make it $f.00 head
and be done with it. At some
periods of life We are apt to consider
things large, which, at more adj
vanced age, we look upon as small,
as for instance the lecturer used to-
think that Congrcssmen were about
16 feet tall.
The lecture abouhded in sharp
points that provoked the vast audi,
ence to laughter, and in strains of
pathetic eloquence that moved them
to tears. With master hand he
portrayed the death scene of the dy-'
ing soldier, and the arrival at the
home of his childhood, after an alb
sence of years. Then, as if to- Illus
trate the short step between the SUBJ
lime and ridiculous, he gave a sketch
of his trip to the Dead Sea, and his
bathing therein, his sure-footed mule
that would kick fellow twice in
the same place with the greatest pre-
cision, and which mule would be on
it's good behavior for week to- get
good whack at you. The Colonel
told of his attempt to write poetry,
and gave a sample verse something
like the following:
otis miduight's holy hour, ..
And ali the world is wrapt in silence now,
w9e tns Pepse aad 20
The only person he could get to-
listen to his effusions was an old wo-'
man ninety years old, with erutches.
By stealing her crutches he had her
foul and she was compelled to listen.
The specimen quoted above was too
much for the old woman's nerves,
and seizing her crutch she drove him
for her sight, since which time he
has dropped poetry as profession.
This point was made to illustrate the
fact that there are but few truly
great masters in the annals of the
worlds history, and that the few
shining lights had been divinity
inspired also that those not favored
with the inspiration divine would
write poetry as he had written it, or
paint as he had painted, when it was
necessary to label each article in
order that people might know what.
he intended to represent. Thus,
while instructing the audience with
interesting facts, he charmed them
with the poetry of eloquence, amused
them with the witty darts of humor,
and saddened them with the pathos'
of grief. As a lecturer Col. Sanford
is a success, and we hope to hear him
again at some future time.