The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1881-09-21

"i'I'S bpiipo'
Lets strip the light fantastic toe"
said the chiropodist to his patient.
Why is a rosebud like a promissory
noteP Because it natures by falling
dew.
A noble man that ought TO be able
TO give good blow-out-the earl Of
Fife.
1t is mistake to assume that ros Q
by any other name would smell as
wheat.
The medal offered for the biggest lie
told this year has been awarded TO the
author of circus poster
The man who went TO see the board
fence retired when he heard the fence
rail and saw the plank walk.
The colleges are busy lettering great
men, so that they can be identified if
they 90 astray in the hereafter
China has only fifteen miles OF tele-
graph. The facilities for circulating
lies in that country are limited.
Eleven thousand dogs have been
killed in the dog-pound of Baltimore
in the two years Of its existence.
"Graciousl wife," said father, as
he looked as his son Williams torn
trousers, get that little Bill reseated."
And she replied, "Sew | will"
There is going to be another comet
hold on, don't dodge yet; it's the
comet Of l744, and it is only expected
around once every l22, 683 years.
The only Ohio man who died sud.
denly last week was chap who was
trying to occupy two seats in passen-
ger coach while four women were
stan ding up.
Jimmy Hope, the bank burglar.
has been arrested. His front name"
is appropriate TO his profession. and it
is to be hoped that Hope for season
bids the world farewell"
Hi! where did you get them trous-
ers?h asked an lrishman of man who
happened TO be passing with remark
ably short pair OF trousers. III got
them where they grew was the indig-
nant reply. Then, by my conscience, -
said Pat, you've pulled them a year
too soOnu'
Alr. Timelytopic and Mr.. Very busy
met on the street, and after few min
utes' conversation on business matters,
Mr.. Timelytopic asked Mr.. Verybusy
if he had seen the comet yet, and was
surprised when the latter replied that
lie had not, rs he had been out of town
couple of weeks.
French gentleman, who supposed
ne had mastered the English language,
was suddenly puzzled one day when a
friend looked at him and said: How
do YOU do?n "Do vat?n a mean how
do you find YOURSELF ''Sair, never
loses myself" But how do you feelp"
Smooth just feel me-"
In the Corcoran Gallery in Washing
ton is painting by Dutch artist, rep
resenting an aged woman stirring the
contents of pouinger. When John
Quincy Adams and Henry Clay were
Commissioners at Client in 1871, this
picture was won by the latter from the
former at q game of cards
The tricycle. has been adopted by the
Birmingham pc ice force for the pur-
pose of facilitating the work of
summoning the officers, to whom its
use will for the present be exclusively
confined. Should the experiment prove
success, it is expected TIE use OF the
machine will be further extended.
1t is asserted that ut one of the large
hotels of Boston, of Wanted rectitude,
the astonished traveller is confronted in
his room by placard which bids him
"beware of thievesr' aud advises
him before retiring to look under the
bed, search the wardrobe and all places
where villain bent on robbery might
lurk.
San Francisco is the happy possessor
of the only Chinese newspapers pub
lished in the world outside of China.
| Tho Woh hee, edited by zee Jemm,
has circulation of 1000, and has a
publishing office, consisting of three
rooms, which, if thrown together,
would make room twelve by fifteen.
The Tong Fan San 30 is the othe,
paper, and boasts circulation of 75C
copies. Neither paper has political,
social, or religious policy.
With the expressed purpose Of keep
Ing dogs out of the Stockton house. a,
Cape May, during the present season,
the directors issued an announcement,
that they would be charged for board
at the rate of $40 week piece. Thai
this scheme for carrying out q praise.
worthy purpose is an utter failure il
proved by the fact that six dogs are
now registered at the Stockton house,
that is to say, three Sky terriers, two
lap-dogs and one pug. ,N
Mrs. Walter Bell, of Granite Basin,
Butte county, California, ordered her
Chinese cook to prepare supper fol
fourteen men. He flew into o, rage
and the wife summoned her husband
i Whan iha lnltor nnnnnrnl iha China n.