The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-05-19
SPooPENDYKE.
what Mrs. spsepesdyke Learned Ceseerni.,
the Dead Lock.

ofoofGNOfA NE.
"ha' "rS' sPsEpe1 ns Lssrned csseernisE
T
"My dear" said Mrs. Spoopendyke. holding a
piece of lace to her overskirt, and wondering
whether she had better plat it on or full il; smy
dear, who is this Congressional Lock who has
just diedf"
"What Congressman Lockf- asked Mr. Spoop-
endyke. -..H
"Why, read in the paper, this morning, that
they couldn't do any business because of the dead
Mr. Lock Did YOU know him,-
"That amt Congressman said Mr.. Spoon
endyke. "You read that there was n deadlock
in the Senate. Wasn't that itf-
''Yes, and read it all through, and when
found that Mr.. Conkling felt so bad about it,
thought Mr.. Lock must be a Congressman
''No, he isn't either. The deadlock means that
the Democrats and Republicans can't agree
''GOod gracious, have they had another falling
out shouldn't think the Republicans would
fight the poor Democrats any more. What have
they been doing now Z,
"They haven't been doing anything. Senator
Malone, of Virginia, went over to the Republi-
cans, and"
81 see,p INTERRUPTED Mrs. Spoopendyke. "and
Mr.. Conkling won't have him confirmed
Though / can't understand why they should
interfere with Mr. Mahone's religion. If the poor
man wants to Join the church. III
..Who wants to Join the church, Who's a
church, Think Mr. Conkling's a bishopf Got
a
chapel with ivy all over him. a spike fence and
a chime of bells, IFS Stanley Matthew he DONE
want confirmed
81 read about him. tooD retained Mrs. Snoop
endyke. 'Ie's Mr.. Garfield,s collector isn't heiv
s'No, he amt. That's Jndge Robertson Mr.
Garfield wants Judge Robertson for Collector.
and Mr.. Cunkliny is opposed to him.
81 don't see why he should he. Tbousb of
course should suppose Mr. Garfield woold
rather have a man like Mr. Malone, who is 60
sswhere's your sense ~ snorted Mr.. Spoopen-
dye "What dive want to mix things IN for,
Trying to make grab bag of prominent Ameri-
cansf Stanley Matthews i candidate for Ju,Ige
Mr.. Malone is senator. and Robertson il
appointed collector, but, like Matthews, hasn't
"Of course, / understand that. INT don't see
any excuse for fighting the Democrats. unless
they think that Mr.. Robertson would collect
money from Mr.. Malone, and Mr. Matthews
would send him to iail In that case it,
''In that case it would take you to strighten
'em ontw squealed Mr.. Spoopendyke. "What're
trying to get up now; an idiot asylumf Are Won
planning for murder and irving to get up an
insanity pleaf What dye think Robertson's 60
ing to collect, hensi Got notion that Matth-
ews is a penitentiary sitting around to be leased
QUIT Imagine Malone to be the National debt
Well, they amt, they're men, Itellye Men with
legs" and Mr. Spoopendyke kicked out both his
own foothandles by yay of illustration aConk
says they shan't be confirmed but he is afraid of
Mahone.D
That's what didn't see,, said Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke 81 am glad Mr. Malone will be confirm
ed, though don't care for Mr. Matthews and Mr..
Robertson. 1t will teach them to repent their
SINS and not fly into the face of Providence. I'm
glad Mr. Conkliny is n good Episcopalian,
''Oh! he's a PRAYER bookrr howled Mr.. Spoop-
endyke. you've found him ont! You've got
himi All he wants is n red cusbion and n rack
Hal 4
benchi Didn't / tell We he was n Sem
atorf Do YOU know what n senator is, It's
something shaped like a pie, a measly pie, In
derstand it nowf
"And is Mr.. Malone n Senator. too ~ asked
Mrs Spoopendyke, a new light dawning upon
her
aNo. he amt n Senatorr grinped Mr.. Snoon-
endyke; she's a lichtnins-rod TO keen bowling
idiots from falling overheard. Begin to see into
itf And they want him confirmed SO if he finds
apy dod gasted old female named Snoonendyke
into a canal. he'll slam a church on ton
of her, Got the dear
"Upon my word NV DEAR demonstrated Mrs.
SnoonendvEe ssvon fall axtroy,0antIy NJ
Malone NAV fiSht Democrats Inf he would
never 20 around Throwing churches at women
/ don't know Mr.. Mahone7 lint don't heli.yr he
would do a thing of that kind. As for Mr..
Matthews and Mr.. Robertson. they know their
business best, but if they have abnsed Mr. Conk
ling. would never read ono of Mr. Mathew,
and Mr. Robertson might call here
every day for month"; and he could never even
collect the paper bill. don't think IL right Ia
trust such men with the contribution box. and
know the missionary ladies' would never hermit
him to collect the snbscriptions.-
CHATS itw yelled Mr. Spoopepdyke. There's
the science of government! Ali Won want now
is a saloon in the basement to be the National
Capital! What You need is a gas meter and n |
veto to be an improved White House. When
Robertson comes here for the milk bill, Won paw |
him, you heart And when Matthews is Justice |
arrested for stealing coal, YOU hear. That'll |
fetch it. You've got the idea now, All You |
want to do is to live all summer in the Soldiers |
Home to be q complete administration. If 1 had |
your vision, I'd get up ON three sticks and hire |