Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1881-08-20
lanraster fntellige1lrer.
Mistaken Identity.
A Batch of Amusing Anecdotes.


identity on record are constantly receiving
new additions. There is an amusing &C
count of q French lady who was very Jeal-
ous of her husband. and determined to
watch his movements. On one occasion
when he told her he was going to Yer
sailles. she followed him, keeping him In
sight until size missed him in passage
leading to the railway station. Looking
about her for few minutes, she saw a
man coming out of a glove shop with a
rather overlressed lady. Making sure
from the distance that this man was her
husband, she came suddenly up, and with
out a word of warning gave him three or
four boxes on the ear. The instant the
gentleman turned round she discovered
her mistake, and at the same time caught
sight of her husband, who had mere
ly called 1T a tobacconist's and was cross
ing the steeet. There was nothing for it
but to faint in the arms of the gentleman
whose ears she had boxed, while the other
lady moved away to avoid scene. The
stranger, astonished to find an unknown
lady in his arms, was further startled by =
gentleman seizing him by the collar and
demanding what he meant by embracing
that lady.
"Why, she boxed my ears, and then
fainted," exclaimed the aggricved gen.
tleman.
"She is my wife, shouted the angry
husband, s'and would never have struck you
without cause" Aud worse than angry
words would probably have followed had
not the cause of the whole misunderstand-
ing recovered sufficient to explain how it
happened.
A London paper gave an account OF an
other case of mistaken identity in cOnnec-
ton with distinguished parsonage. An
aged couple, in high life, who were cele.
brating their golden wedding, by way of
concluding the festivities on that occasion,
adjourned with their children and their re-
spcctivc belongings to 4 theatre, in which,
to accommodate so large 4 party, two
boxes had been Knocked into one. The
eldest son, who strongly resembles his
Royal H;giness the Prince OF Wales, step
ped forward and occupied the centre seat,
with the ladies Of the party beside him,
upon which the orchestra struck up the
national anthem, aud the audience rose to
their feet en- mdsse, the innOcently uncon-
scious party OF course, doing the same
themselves.
There is no doubt that people of rather
unusual propol tions had all awkward time
of it when the claimant was at large. A
story goes that = cOrpulcnt gentleman once
took box II: the Canterbury hall. First
one person. then another, eyed him, until
at length the counterpart OF the claimant
became the centre Of observation. A cheer
arose, the singing vas suspended, and an
ovation was the result. The supposed Sir
Roger rose and bowed his acknowledge
ment. But this was not enough. He must
speak. The manager announced that
.'Sir Roger" had cold, and could not
speak, Fearing the consequence if the
audience discovered their mi stake, lie had
the claimant" removed rs quietly as pos
sible in Il cab and sent in y OnndabOut way
to his home.
The intoxicated bricklayer who squared
up to post and maintained 4 One-sided
fight affords an absurd illustration of mis-.
taken identity: but il we can rely upon
newspaper reports, such ludicrOus Incl
dents are surpassed by what is said to
have happened in the neighborhoOd of
Morccambc. Sometime ago the body of
what was supposed by the discovcrer to be
a human being was found lying on the
beach near the place above named, having
undoubtedly been left there by the reccd-
ing tide. The usual preparations for
holding an orthodox inquest were put in
fOrco and kept going, until the cxamina-
tion of Il medical man proved tho suspect
ed human corpse to be bnt the carcass Of
a monkey. which had probably been
thrown overheard from some ship, and
which SO closely rcsembiel in appearance
a human being as 10 require the doctor to
tell the difference. Such mistake looks
either like gross ilattery upon dead
monkey, or IN unconscious satire upon
human nature, calculated to delight all
believers in tie Darwin;an theory.
A not unnatural mistake was that made
by the policeman who arrested Dublin
youth under what appeared to he sus-
picious circumstances. The young gen
Irish capital. ard joined with great spirit
in Il game of forfcits. Amidst tie fun
and merrimcnt, it was proposed that to
regain his forfeit he should pay q visit t.,
the turf stacks on the adjacent canal bank,
and bring some turf into the room. Think.
ing only of the diversion that his return
with an armful OF turf woIld create, he
Immediately fastened to the place indi-
Gated, filed his arms, and was in tho act
of returning. when, to his horror, he be
came aware that policeman was in pur.
suit. almost paralyZed with fright, he
dropped his burden and awaited the off.
GERS arrival.
"Oi. constable" he stammered, "Ivc
been playing a game of fOrfeits, and was
told to bring some turf from the canal
into the house,
"Not y bad story but you'll have t.
come with me-" declared the constable.
There had been continued complaints OF
rf-pilfering, SO, regardless Of his protcs-
tations. the uniucky yonth was locked ny
for the night. The first intimation his
merry-makins friends received Of his
whereabouts was when. next morning they
heard that he had been explaining tho
mistake to the presiding magistrate, who
fortunately comprehended the case in Il
moment, and dismissed it.
LANCASTER HUISEHUlD MARKET