The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1881-06-29
from the san Francisco Evening Post-l
POSTSCRIPTS.
sr DrnHlok POM.
Entnmolorr at the BUS.

night clerk was going on watch, tnat org
nitary noticed dilapidated being curled up
in one of the reading room armchairs. Partially
protected by door, and folded into jack
knife economy of space, the bankrupt evidently
counted upon securing nights lodging gratis.
sFire that man outl" said the night clerk
to the hall porter, in manner that suggested
the late Gar ordering Nihilist to Siberia,
and which would have driven that extinguished
potentaie wild with envy.
$50 am to 60. am L." yawningly inquired
the stowaway, approaching the counter
"Well. should smile" replied the clerk,
with amazed sarcasm.
"But where?"
'cWhat the blue bIazes do care where you
co." snapped the autocrat of all the Russes.
aIemme see,'' reiectively continued the
seedy party, resting his elbows on the counter
and his chin on his hands, 81 guess I'll drop
in one of the papers and tell the editor OF a
dream was Just having, when yon minion
aroused me-"
"Ohl slide" interjected the clerk.
'tOf a most remarkable dream about this
very house." calmly went on the pilgrim in
the same meditative voice: 81 dreamt that it
was about An, and that the lights were be-
ing turned down, and the billiard tables all
covered up, when party of mosquitoes and
bedbugs came in from the theatre"
"a what" asked the clerk, unconsciously
beginning to be interested by the weird,
poetic imagery Of the theme.
"a party of mosquitoes and bedbugs, said
the sleepy man. ''The mosquitoes were mostly
transient, but the bugs evidently were your
regular boarders; old stagers, you know. They
ali seemed to be feeling pretty jolly, and they
walked right into the billiard room, hauled the
cover of of one of the tables and began playing
mol ~
'In the dark" asked the clerk
"Why, of course; what does that kind of
animal want with gas. They are used to the
dark, amt they? They made a good deal of
racket. ouarreling over the pot, and scratches
until one old specimen says: why, in the
name Of bites and blotches, can't you fellows
make less noise?"
"T was Just telling them how made fell
low squirm up in the gallery of the Baldwin
tonight giggled one young bedbug, who was
30 full he kept chalking his seal ring instead
of his cue Bit him in fourteen different places
during the first act
"cWell, YOU needn't make such row about
it growled the old bug. There's no need
waking everybody in the house. Gracious
knows. they are restless enough this warm
weather! I've been kicked out of bed, myself,
twice this week, and have had a pain in the
small of my back ever since.
"Did DC really say that?" asked the clerk,
quite absorbed, while the night porters crowded
up to listen.
"Just exactly as 1 tell you," continued the
seedy man, solemnly. after awhile they got
tired playing, and came out here in the hall
together. As you night watch fellows were
ali asleep as usual, they crowded up TO the
counter, and the old grizzled-mouth bug, who
seemed to be a sort Of pioneer among them,
-, :, x-ara onened the register
''Lemme see if anything fresh and juicy
came in on the overland tonight says he
reading go SqB5 tf 5ySo . Ii7 yTthaFgggg
bridal chamber
"'rll take that said several
"'Yes, you will not said the big bug !;
'I'Il attend to that detail myself. John II.
Brown, Boston, No. 42l. you eau have him,
Gimlet'
".Yell. Just won't, now, said Gimlet. the
most cadaverous old giant of mosquito You
ever saw. you know the taste of beans
always makes me sick
"'Well. then, here's julius Jones, Auburn,
Maine, No. 32l.'
Maine be bowed hummed Gimlet, ham,
mering mis- bill on the counter in rage; and
l want to know, gentlemen, right here, what
is the meaning of this job"
"' What job 2 asked the veteran, picking
"Why, this little game of forever foisting
off on me all the sapless old skeletons from
New England that come along. won't stand
it.
Then sit it. said the forty-niner. IF
YOU open your proboscis again I'll knock you
down and crawl on you. Let's see, now
Hesekiah Greg, New York, No. 1872. He's that
carbolic soap agent. Phew can't touch him.
A. B. Patterson, Granville, ILL.,, No. 81. S'pose
you take him, Mr.. Nip
"ohl anything but an Illinois man for
me- said the bedbug in question; they taste
so of saleratus I can't bear 'em. One gave me
the dyspepsia for month, last winter
al wish you fellows would hurry up
yawned a rather delicate looking mosquito,
who was sitting on a spittoon half asleep; Il
haven't had mouthful since breakfast. If
there is anything there from Louisiana or
Florida, just pass me the number. l always
did like bruno ties, somehow.
"'oh! if you insist on dark meat grinned
the impudent bug at the register, there's
colored man from Canada in Sls.'
asIsnt that somebody " and child'' in 90 !?
asked matronly looking bug with spectacles,
peering over the pairiarch's shoulder. do
so dote on children.
"sYou mean, your teeth aiu't what they
used to be- chuckled the old sinner. Hello
here's Sir Algernooh Juokihs, DaLt-, Lohuon'
No. 1876.
"sLet me have him, murmured comedy
Young bugess, removing her chewing gum to
speak. I haven't tasted blue blood for over
q year.
"tDon't be so awfully romantic. Nibbie
Jane said the matron bug, severely, those
globe trutiers have hides like ironclacs.
az can't help it, said Ni5bie Jane. 1t is
lust too cruelty sweet to think that the blood
of the Plantsgenets is cOursing through ones
veins, and
"Ohl wipe off your chin snapped the
boss bug. Whats this next naIne2 Why
the blazes can't people write plainly? Miss
STANDARDIZATION Oakland, No. 444. S'pose
that isn't quite high enough for you, Borer-
now that you've taken to living en- bankers
and star actresses, ehZ'
'Well-ahem-the fact is / feel a little
feyerish tonight, replied the dissipated young
bug-about-town spoken to, and don't know
ANYTHING more really refreshing than pull at
the big lev feet of an Oakland girl thee sultry
nights. No. A., what did you say?'
s''Well, that's all there are, said the pstri-
arch, Shaping the book shut. If any of you
folks feel like little nip of something for
nightcap before you turn in, there's whisky
agent from Bourbon county, Kentucky, No. l6.
on the first floor. But sip him mighty light,
mind, for he's awful strong, awful u Good
night ALL
And then they <ished each other
Sound sleepers' instead of sleep and hed up
stairs to bed. concluded the seedy man.