The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1881-10-07
HUMORs OF THE DAY.
A GOOD PORTRAITS a bottle.

a GOOD pOrb-ralt-spO Dobble.
NIAGARA FALLs-and what's to prevent
it?
ELI PERKINS is rail mad, spelled back
wards.
DOES it follow that a woman raises
thunder because she puts lightning In
her bread?
IF YOU want to get rich, mount
mule, because when you are on mule
you ere better off.
We should think that scarf pins would
get sea sick. They are so often on the
bosoms of such heavy swells.
SoNa of the Sioux Chief as he leaves
the wigwam of his Laughing Water
"Oh, Sioux-anna, don't you cry for
me"
"Do you know who built the ark ?"
asked a 3unday-school teacher Of little
street Arab and the little fellow ze-
piled; NAV !"
CHICAGO has violinist who plays with
his feet. But nobody but a resident OF
Chicago would play with his feet.-Ne10
York Telegram.
A POET who was fond of oysters
Shelley. Ditto ditto, ten pins-Bowles.
Do. do. oft-shells-Crabbe. Do. do,
Notwithstanding.
IT is said that a girl who wears No. 2
shoes and beautiful hose can be scared
into believing almost every little bit of
wood or stone she sees is mouse
Boston Post.
"A LARGE part of our happiness,
saws Mr.. Beecher. sis due to our mis-
takes. The printer who got bounce
for setting up "infernai reception for
"informal " reception may coincide with
Mr. Beecher, but we doubt it.
prD'sT ever thou gaze ON 4 lovely maid,
All glorious, radiant, fair,
Ana think thou saW'st those rich red lips
OF The " unkissed kisses" there7
Because if thou did'st not, this is a
good time to begin'st. - Stelsbe1eUilIe
Herald.
Tow Hoop most successful poez- --s
the "Song of the Shirt A grea.-sany
American poets don't sing that sort of
song, because the subject is in use seven
days in the week, and it hasn't time to
be sung about. -StelbeaUille Herald.
SHE wears finest diamonds and lac,s,
And is worth half million, they say;
Her set soeiastic embraces
The fashion and wealth of the day;
Her face is a model Of beauty
Her praises sung Ger and DER;
But what are her wealth and her booty,
When foghorn can't equal her suoTe?
Detroit Free Press.
A WOMAN may offer in excuse for her
red nose that she laces too tightly, bus
what shall a man say ?-Erchange. O,
he can offer the same excuse. He also
gets too tightly" by so-lacing himself.
-NOrristo1Un Herald.
ALTHOUGH the marriage of Miss Nellie
Grant to Mr. Sartoris, of England, was
criticised in this country at the time,
Nellie did well. Her husband has an
income of about $40, 600 and one baby a
year. Kentucky State Journal.
A BALLET dancer is not good for much
unless she learns her business in toe toe.
Boston Courier. II her teacher knows
his business heel teach her to keep in
STEP YaUcob Strau88 Must she put
her whole sole into it?-SteubenUiLIe
Herald.
HERES positive fact that occurred in
one of the public schools in this CITY re-
Gently: A small boy was asked to name
some part of his own body. He thought
for moment aud then replid: Bowels,
which are five in number "a, e, j, o, u,
and sometimes W and y.-PhiladeIphin
Bulletin.
"WAs it the drum major brave? ?"
asked one soldier of another. "Of
course, said the other; chow can get
up the necessary excitement, if fife
nothing to stir me?" "Oh, well, man
musket courage somehow" said the first;
81 suppose most any one cannon occa-
sion" eyes, that is the general order,
and I'm a bayonet," said the other i:
though l wish I'd never be gun"