The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1881-09-02
Going to Sleep in the Day Coach.

| qu0nI1y uSeu.
Going to Sleep in the Day Coach.
1t was not Mr.. Dinkleman's fault that
he was tall man, and in fact under or
binary circumstances he was very proud
of his figure. But one night last week
he came down from Chicago to Burling-
ton and couldn't get any kind of show
| in the sleeper, and one seat all to him.
self was the best they could do for him
in the day car. But he was weary all
the same and had to sleep. So he
slowed away his yalise and prepared to
! slumber.
He made very elaborate preparations,
several times. before he could get things
fixed to suit him.
First he just thrust his feet out half
way across the aisle and pillowed his
weary head on the window sill. That
was very comfortable. But in minute
or two woman walked down the aisle
and fell over his feet and screamed
then child came along and fell over
the feet and cried then a man came
along, and stumbled over the feet and
swore, and just as Mr. Dinkleman was
beginning to hope the procession was
all by, the brakeman came rushing
along, he stumbled over the projecting
feet, made one short, unrevised remark,
turned up and gave the nearest foot
kick that made every soul aboard that
car draw in his breath and shudder and
shrek ssacu-ou-ow !" and then he said
to Mr.. Dinkleman "Now, hold out
the other one"
But Mr. Dinkleman said nothing. He
could only hold that foot up by the
ankle, hold it up high in the air with
both hands, while he swayed back and
forth, held his mouth wide open and
wished for broken bridge, or an open
switch, or an accident policy.
Then when the cessation of his agony
allowed him to feel sleepy again, he
buckled himself up into the shape of
letter N, with his knees braced against
the back of the seat in front of him, his
feet hanging down, his body erect, and
his head dropping over the back of the
seat. Both his feet got sound asleep
long before he did, and when he stood
up he fell down and all the passengers
shook their heads, the men laughed sar-
donical laughs, the women said "what
shame such nice, respectable look
ing man, too,' and the man on the
wood-box unfeelingly said, g too much
booze" And his hat fell off into seat
behind him and the man in that seat
put his feet in it and spit all over it be-
fore Mr.. Dinkleman could find it.
Clearly that was no way to sleep.
Then he curled up In the seat like a
dog on rug, with his knees drawn up
to his chin, his head on the window sill
and his feet braced against the end Of
the seat. In about twenty minutes he
woke MP with more aches his legs
and body than he had hairs on his head
He was SO sore and stiff that it was ten
minutes BEFORE i1eU U0nir bend ho-vss
enough to get his hands into his pockets
to get his ticket and the conductor got
tired of waiting for him at last. and
said, sternly, 6 get off at the next sta
tion," and Mr.. Dinkleman could hear
the passengers saying, dead beat and
got the bounce and served him
right. Evidently, no man could sleep
very long in that posture, and get home
with any kind of reputation.
Then he tried to sit straight up and
hold his head up by clasping his hands
behind it, but when his hands gave way
his head fell back with snap that came
so near breaking his neck that he hasn't
got over it yet, and one of the passen-
gers asked him if he did that for fun or
just because he liked it. Then he
leaned his head down on the back of the
seat before him and dozed until he woke
hawith a crease on his forehead like the
brand of Gain. Then he lay down with
his head pillowed on the arm of the
seat, and the first man that walked
down the aisle iammed his head half
way down into his neck, and made him
feel that life was mockery. Then he
sat up in the seat, facing the aisle and
put his feet upon the arm OF the seat,
leaned his head against the window and
broke the glass the first time the car
lurched. Thirty cents and cold in the
head for that.
Having thus sampled all the positions
he could think of he spent the rest of
the night trying them, sometimes sepa-
rately, and sometimes altogether. and
when at last he got to Burlington, his
hair was gray, his eyes were wild, he
had to be carried to his home on a
stretcher, and the doctors put him in
mustard plaster case right away, where
he has lain ever since. And if you don't
believe it. try an aal-night ride in day
coach yourself, sometime. Harrington
Haackeye.