Connecticut western news., 1881-06-08
THE LIME-KILN CLUB.
Brother Gardner Discourses on the Revision of the Bible-General Pro. CeedinVs,
From the Detroit Free Press.l

From the Detroit Free Press.]
 CT take pleasure an satisfaction, ' said the President as he held up par eel, Gin informin' you worthy citizen of Detroit, who does not car to have his name menshun'd, has presented dis revised edishun of de Bible to de Lime Kiln Club. We do not open our meet ins wid prayer, nor do weclose by sing. in the Doxology. but neberdeless I am suah dis gift will be highly appreshiated by all. Oar has bin considu ble talk in dis club about dis revised edishun, Some of you hab got de ideah dat par gatory has all been wiped out an Heab- en enlarged twice ober, an have heard odders assert dat it didn't forbid lyin' , stealth an passin' off bad nancy. My friends, you am sadly mistaken. Hell is jist as hot as eber, an Heaben hasn' t got any mo- room. In lookin' ober some of de changes las' night I selected out few paragraphs which have a gin eral b'arin. For instance, it am just as wicked to steal watermellyons as it was las' var or de var befo' and de skeercer de crap de bigger de wicked ness.
 "No change has bin made in regard to loafn aroun' de streets. De loafer am considered just as mean an low as eber he was, an want to add my be- lief dat he will grow meaner in public estimashun all de time.
 "De ten commandments am all down heah widout change. Stealth an lyin' an covetin' an runnin' out nights am considered jist as bad as eber.
 'I can't find any paragraph in which men are excused from payin' deir honest debts and supportin' deir families.
 "I can't fin war a poo man or poo mans wife, white or black, am 'spected to sling on any particular style.
 "Dog fights, chicken liftin', poly ticks, playin' keerds for money an hangin' aroun' fur drinks an all sich low bizness am considered meaner dan eber. Fact is, can't fin any change whateber which lets up on man from 
 honest wid de world. Dey have changed de word He'll to sHades,' but at de same time added to the strength of the brimstun' and added to de size of de pit, an we want to keep right on in de straight path if we would avoid it. Doan' let any white man make you be- ieve dat we's lost any Gospel by dis revision, or dat Peter or Paul or Moses have undergone any change of spearit regardin' de ways of hb1n' respectfully an dyin' honorably."
 MORE FOURTH OF JULY.
 The President stated that he was in receipt of two more kind invitations to the club to take part in Fourth of July festivities, one being from Chicago and the other from Hamilton, o. He could not yet announce what action he should advise, as it had not yet been deter mined whether Detroit would celebrate or sit in the shade. Pickles Smith thereupon. offered the following pream- ble and resolution:
 Whereas, In de var 1776, or purity soon aroun' dat date, de King of Eng land sot out to gin dis kentry a thrash in; an
 Whereas, De said King not only bit off more'n he could chaw, but was made drefful sick by de bitin' now darfore-
 Resolved, Dat any town or city too lazy or too stingy to celebrate de ami versary of our Independence desarves de contempt of ebery true patriot, and should be marked 'N. G." on de maps.
 The resolution was adopted, and Give adam Jones, Elder Plato and Trustee Pullback were appointed committee to wait on the Mayor and inform him that the Lime-K Club stood ready to go in with the white folks and make the coming Fourth 8 day to be remem- bered for hundred years to come.
 "DAT's ACCORDING"
 The Secretary announced communi- cation from the President of the White Rose Debat ng Club of that city, asking Brother Gardner to take sides on the question: "Am sheep-meat good for cull'd folks ?" The club had the ques- tion before it for several meetings, and failing to agree, it had been agreed to accept the decision of the Lime-Kiln Club.
 'I should say dat it was accordin' to circumstances, replied the President, as he removed his spectacles. "In de case of lazy, wicked, right-down nig- ger eben old bones am too good for his stomach. In de case of good, squar' cull'd man, sheep meat, sirloin steaks an spring chicken am none too fine; Pam a firm believer in de theory dat de brain am in a great measure controlled by de stomach. I lay one-half de rascality o1 dis world to poor fodder. A man who sits down to lean table feels mad at de hull world, though it may be his ow1 fault dat he has no better. Bring up { chile on CO taters, old crusts an thi1 meats, an de chances am ninety-fv il hundred dat he will make wicked man. When de stomach am pinched de brain turns to deviltry. I've bi, right dar'. In de y'ars agone, when sot down to dinnah table held dow by few 'taters, cup of weak tea an 8 mighty thin slice of bread, I felt lik , robbery an murder. Gin 8 man goo coffee, plenty of meat, good bread ar whateber fxin's come between, an h t will keep clar of crime, unless it wa hn'n in his natl1r' D.