davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
National Republican., 1881-08-16
ANOTHER SHOCK
From n Correspondents who Docs Not ne
Iieve fn IngersoII.
IT, IL Ia rrI,... N.

June EutOr VI thE REPUBLICAN.
Being Democrat and your antipode
in politics generally yet a subscriber to THR lie.
PUBLICAN purely on account of your graceful pen
and manliness, take the liberty OF suggesting
that this whole community is frequently shocked
by the blasphemy Of your theological correspond
ents and now venture to give a greater shock to
these good people by adding to Bob Ingcrsolls aud
"Studcnts" sickening stun the following There
being no God and nature, according to their view.
having arranged our sublunary. we are sad to say
that she has committed two blu nders which seem
not to have been noted by Robert and his friends.
One of these blunden was the sentiment
Of ofconnubi0l love, and the other reverence for
Deity, or the idea of a God. She has created mill
lions, who, from childhood. have felt the prompt
ings OF tho first sentiment referred to. Perc Lccor-
dare cunning priest, of course, refers TO the sub
ect in question thus: Unc piante 81 delicate qi Sc
Rou,Tit de quciQue gatcs de roses tOmbo ca e Ia d
cid." Under the influence OF this pcrnicious
timent how many ill.sorted couples have been
seen In the world. mere sentiment. common to
all mankind, drew them together, and received
the weak mortals who yielded to It's sway. How
much wiser had 1t been III Dame
Nature 10 have created us without
such a sentiment Then logic and reason had
guided mankind in choosing comparisons. Itwere
worse than vain-silly and childish--to excuse
Damo Nature on tho ground that this sentiment
was learned in boarding schools or taught by
preachers from Noah to Beecher, for every scnsi
bic man knows that the sentiment referred to is
natural. The next charge on which arraign
Dame Nature before the vulgar throng who ad i
mire Ingersoll is that she created mankind with
the sentiment of reverence for Deity, or at least
Of recognition and apprehension Of II benehcent
and wise Creator, ever present and our 6nal judge.
-A a corollary to this proposition, imposed by ma
ture on all mankind, the sentiment Of devotion
which formulates itself in prayer aud praise also
follows. Hence disposition 10 pray, in danger
and distress, may be numbered among universal
laws. Reverence, or at least apprehension oi
Deity, Is also universal law Erctptto probot re0u.
lam some men nre born without noses some may
have no idea of God-but the Inv is us universal MS
gravity, Yet according to Bob " and Student,
law is God from which II follows that Dame Ma.
ture created God. "oh, what fools these mortal.
bpW PICK
National Republican., 1881-08-16
FINANCIAL AND COMMERCIAL.
stock ana Bond Observation-Disclosures
mud New York Produce Markets.

The following observations on the trans
actions in the financial market yesterday together
with opening, highest lowest, and closing quota
tons, are furnished by the banking house Of II. d.
Cooke, IT,, Co., 1929 street, Washington, D. c.;
NEW YORK STOCK MARKET.
NEW YORK, Aug. l5 810 p. m.-The market
opened al about Saturdays closing, but declined
from the opening, remaining dull until the las,
half hour, during which It recovered to about the
opening prices. There was no feature worthy OF
comment in the transactions The anxiety re.
specting the changed condition Of the President
for the worse not being offered as an excuse foI
the dullness and there was an unusual lack oI
rumors regarding the proposed settlement Of the
trunk.line difficulties. Governments very dull
Money easy at three to four per cent.
NEW YORK STOCK quotations.
National Republican., 1881-08-16
naI,Imore Cnt,Ie rrrLc,.

BALTIMORE, Aug. l5.-Beef cattle-Ex-
treme tops scarce and shade better other grades
lssl4o higher, with a fairly active Market very
best, 5ssG69sc; first quality, 44@5Ilo; medium, 39
&c: ordinary, 2lsc93c: most sales from 56t6c re.
celpts, 24l2 head sales l,267 head. Swine-Supply
fully equal to n moderate demand; quotations, ~
@gHc; receipts, 50i6 head. The arrivals oil
sheep and lambs were ,5S7 head quotations
sheep, 3a5c; lambs, 3lSe96c.
National Republican., 1881-08-16
rhiI.deiphin:ca,ue Market.

WEST PHILADELPHIA, Aug. l5.-Cattle-
Market active; sales, $500 head; prime 6]k@
65Ec; good, 51ka6l{c; medium, 593sep534c common,
4ssa5Jlc; culls SIf@ilEc. sheep-Market active;
sales, 10000 head; prime, 5lSe5595c; good, $50
59sc; medium, 4lsa5c; common, i1sC94sSc; enlls,
Market fairly active sales, 3i00 head selling
from Sll@0s4c, as TO quality.
National Republican., 1881-08-16
HoMERIC POETRY.

There was an old maiden In Lynn.
Who thought at croquet she could win;
But she aimed rather low,
And banged her big toe,
And knocked all the bark of her shin.
a eirl with Cat feet, like a tritter.
Couldn't end amy shoe that would tit her;
nut she tried on q "ten"
of the size made for men.
Did they itT' do youask We should tlttei
There was young girl from Cohoes.
But whn she was nobody knows;
But she hiushed very red
At the ballet, and said
"oh, I Wish they would put on their clothes.
--Nut. Fuller.
National Republican., 1881-08-16
By Associated Press.


NRw YORK, Aug. 15.-Money fairly easy
at sl9@f per cent OH call and closed at 4per cent
Exchange steady at dSl949is2 for long and Isi9
isiM for short sight Governments weak and gen
orally n per cent lower, State bonds dun and
nominal. Railroad bonds irregular oil light
volume OF business.
The stock market opened weak and generally
lower and In the early dealings prices declined a
@2ll per cent. Illinois Central, Missouri Pacific,
Norfolk and Western preferred Texas Pacific,
Michigan Central and Denver and Rio Grande
! being most prominent in the downward move
ment. subsequently recovery of MGl per cent
took place, the latter in Missouri Pacific. During
the afternoon the speculation again became weak,
! owing to the critical condition of the President,
and there was further decline of A92 per cent.
which was most marked In Nashville and Chatta-
| nooga aud Hannibal and ST. 10. preferred In the
| final sales some shares recovered fraction. but
| the general list closed barely steady.
The sales aggregated l57,956 shares including
| Delaware, Lackawanna aud Western, $500; Lake
Shore, 2G,h0O; Louisville and Nashville 800 Mich
| igan Central. 1900; Memphis and Charleston, 200
Northwestern, 1900; New Jersey. Central, 600;
| Reading, 100 Wabash Pacific, 1900, Texas Pa.
| cihc, 300; Western Union, 1860.
National Republican., 1881-08-16
STATE BoSps
ForeIrn Money gInrI.et.

LONDON, Aug. l5,-Consols for money,
lOO9.I6; do. for the account. 1905 United States
bonds-Four and halls, ll624; Atlantic and Great
Western hrsls, 5s24; do seconds, 23lS; New Jersey
Central, Ia; Erie, i55s; New York Central, li9lS
Pennsylvania Central, d719 Milwaukee and 81
Paul common, lis. The amount OF bullion gone
into the Bank OF England on balance to-day is
I5yOOO
National Republican., 1881-08-16
BANKERS EXCHANGE.
Three-day bills ......."... 4s5 Sixty-day bill
WALL STREET GOSSIP.

Three-day bills ...... 4s5 sixtyday bills 4s3
WALL STREET GOSSIP
NEW YORK, Aug. 10, . y. m.-The Presidents
private secretary telegraphs that Mr.. Garfield is
better since the last bulletin and is retaining
nourishment. There are dispatches from other
sources which state to the contrary on tue street.
A Philadelphia dispatch says that the papers are
all drawn up for taking New Jersey Central out OF
the receivers hands, and II may be done as soon
as the court reassembles. Mr.. Gowen, of the Read
ing, tclegraphs from Paris to philadelphia paper
as follows: "The Anglo French Bank only rc.
newed an allotment OF $4,000 of defined bonds,
now held by q London party who Is ready To pay
as soon as the court removes the Injunction. There
never was more honest and bona tde issue made In
London. Out Of thirty -four millions fully twenty.
six millions have paid their first installmcnt and
are waiting to pay the remaining 100000"
National Republican., 1881-08-16
WHAT A SHAME,

\ young lady who lived down In Lawrence
One day when the rain fell in lawrence,
Observed herbest feller
Lend girl his umbreller;
An act that she viewed with abhawrence.
National Republican., 1881-08-16
ThN Smith 4 Eeea ManlIaCLlrlne C0

LUUk HON I7ull BNIDUEFONIl NONN,
Manufacturers of speclaties In Light Hardware aud
Metallic Goods generally, Government ana Giant
PadlOcks, Sewing Machine Locks, Plano Locks, Organ
LOcksi the ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS Giant SASH Chain sll-
perlpr TO every other ana very much cheaper quo
special pulley requlred), The smith Egge Manuiac-
turing Co. also gives special attention tie maxi OF
estimates for the cost or the manufacture OF patented
Inventions nnd All the necessary tools, aud the mnuu-
Adurlng OF lhe same ON royalty. Au communications
treated contldenlially my2l-Sr1L6m
National Republican., 1881-08-16
mir MODEL FAST LINE, AND THE ONLY LINE
BETWEEN THE EAST AND THE
WEST VIA WASHINGTON.
DoUBLE TRAcKi JANNEY CoupLERi sTEEL RAttG
Schedule TO take effect sunday, May p, 1891.

3O-grIItIcACn; GINCiNNATI AND ST. LoUrs
-Ral!more, Eiiicoli CITY and Way Stations
SiraShprg Winchester, Hagerstown, and Way
SiS-hHILHpEIpiiiI%S. NEW YORK. AND pos-
T2N EMPhE reIl2T GSys I to e SST IVY York. fs,.
meets tor Hagerstown and ut Point OF Rocks for
inOo-on sunday only, for Baltimore. Annapolis And
iOOO-RkL'rIMoRE EXPRESS Cstopsat Hyattsy!uc.
College BcltEye, laurel Annapolis Junction.
HNbs i1I LOUIS EXrRiSss
is;iO-.palllmorc, Elcott City, Annapolis. and wav
il;25-o1 sunday only, ioI baltimore and Way.
t.:l5-BALTIMORE EMPRESS, " -
t3'oO- BAhTIMonE nE,PHILADELPHrA,AN PH ,ANDNEw
&3o-B baltimore and way Stations twnchester, Fred
RAN2E RE ESTTFgiaaF Va Relay &SS sdps as
Annapolis Juncuonl .-. ,,--
CHESTER u and % Wsy station Station Ion Sunday 10 Foia,
- Of Rocks and Way stations only.l
RRnqE%Ssh EE%fh aRs wHG and
Way, via Relay Stops at Hyn'sville aud
eoi-Pont oi Rocks and Way stations.
t6:b- baltimore md Way stations:
-fITi.rsRI RSt5 sCINcrNNATr, AND ST.
fTiiItA pfLrnTA, NEW YORK. AND Bos.
and specai ma nE sicepns SsP car at PSadepSia. ''
1000 BNLTINIoRE, ,IYArTsvILLE; AND LAU:
passenger 1 ) al any station i b between washington
- md Annapolis Junction. 49,, .
Daily. tSundays only. Other trains daty' except
All trains nom Washington stop ut Relay Station.
Ohio ticket offices Washington station, and $40 aud
1851 Pennsylvania avenue, corner Fourteenth street
where orders Will he taken for baggage TO be checked
uhI rnreived at any point IN the city.
National Republican., 1881-08-16
DIED.

NEAI.-on Saturday August 10, 1884, HENRY
MEAL, In the seventy.thlrd year Of his age, an old
and respected citizen OF Washington well known as
n hackmau.
The friends OF the family are respectfully invited
TO attend the funeral, from ST. Joseph's Church, Sec
ond street northeast to-day TUESDAY, August i6) at
two o'clock y. IN.
National Republican., 1881-08-16
nnItImoro sioch hoard,

BALTIMORE, Aug. 15-Virginia skies,
deferred, l7l6; do. consolidated Sll5; do. second
series, 4lss past due coupons, 9254 new ten for
ties, 5iN bid to day.
National Republican., 1881-08-16
IRGIN:, MIDLAND RAILWAY.
TO THE SOUTH AND SOUTHWEST
ON AND AFTER suSDAy. JUNE ~, 1881.

ON AND AFTEH SUNDAY, JUNE Y, 1881.
TiO u M, dally-NEW ORLEANS FAST MAIL
Direct connection for south and southwest. Daily,
except sunday, TO local points ON G. & ., H. Y
PULLMAN SLEEPING CARS are run nom WASH
ingtOn to New orleans without change Of cars.
ll0i a. m.-WHTrE SULPHUR LIMITED EX.
PRESS, daily, except sunday, TO Fauquler ana
White sulphur springs. PARl.OR CAR, WASH
ington to White sulphur springs,
l0l5 y. m,-NIltGINIA SPRINGS EiNPRESS, daily.
Tor all points South via Danvllle. and West via
pULI,MNN SLEEPING CARS daily from wa.hing.
ton to White sulphur Springs without change.
PULLMAN SLEEPING CARS daily from Washing.
ton to Augusta. Ga, without change.
Passengers tor Manassas Division viii take 40 a. m.
train daily except sunday. For Warrenton. s:lo
a. IN. daily aud ll;0i daily, except sunday.
For tickets and information call at Virginia Mid
land Office. COL Pennsylvania avenue
N. NtACDANIEL, Agent
NJ. SLAUGHTER, General Ticket Agent. jyiS.f
National Republican., 1881-08-16

/ t,9sl Prizes, SIllttO
Whole tickets, SCI half tickets, 81 81 tickets $50
| IS tickets, 500.
RemlI money bank draft by letter, or send by ex.
press. DON'T SEN u BY REGISTERISD LETTER
| or POST-oFFTCE ORDER. Orders OF Sand upward
by express he sent at expense Address all
ders to n. NJ. BOA NDMAN, Courier, Journal building
Louisville, KY, or 4. N. BoAnDMAN, 30l Broad
way, New York OrJ W. CLARK, 300 q street north.
west, aud li22 Pennsylvania avenue; or 10 4. b.
| MAYNADIER, COS Fourteenth street northwest
National Republican., 1881-08-16
uncomfortable Feet

Are Requisite 20 Health and Longevity"
Hence the thousands, from far and near. that visit
DR. Whites establishment, lil0 Pennsylvania avenue
opposite WIZARDS Hotel for relief from and avoid
ance o. Corns, Bnions Diseased Nails, Vascular EA
crescences, and other ailments OF the Feet Hours
n m. 70 u. IN. lee. 81 nnr Visit.
National Republican., 1881-08-16
EXCURSIONS

10 Richmond via NOri0k or To Norfolk via Rich.
mOnd and return To Washington. James Riverby
daylight. A delightful trip
Steamer Excelsior twice daily U:'bl n. m, anu JJo
y. M to Rchmond via Richmond, Fredericksburg
and Potomac Railroad. from QuantlcO. -
steamer ue0rge Leary, TUESDAYS, THURS.
DAYS, and SATURDAYS to Norfolk connecting
ut Richmond and Norfolk with the James River
steamers each way. .-
Round trim tlCke 70
National Republican., 1881-08-16
2Books ano Statiomerg.
lust Published.

An the numbers of the Franklin square Library
always in stock. Any of The above sent by mail,
postage paid, upon receipt of price
| have Just issued New Law Catalogue, which l
viii send free of charge to amy address,
National Republican., 1881-08-16
Imitation Stained Glass.

This grand aud beautiful invention hlls vacancy
long ielt In the OrnameutAtion OF cOmmon window
glass, &c, nnd produces all the unique effects OF tho
real lead ashnes aud coored glass In richly stained
glass windows.
For descriptive prco-list call or send postal Now
designs Just received Directions for applying given
to every customer Agency, gl9 J. street norlhwesE
J, q, CULNERWELL,
aullms Agent for District Of Columbia.
National Republican., 1881-08-16
nnItImore General sTnrhot.

October, sii b7JS@il 72I6; November s11 IS; De-
cember sil 4O9n 45 The year, sr 37lfai1 49,.
Frcights lower.
National Republican., 1881-08-16
HEALTH is WEALTH,

Dr. T.; G. wEsT's HERyEAND BRAIN TREATMENT
specific for HyAtera, Dizziness ConYulsons Nef-
vOns Headache, Mental Depression, Loss Of Memory
spennatorrh@a, lmpoency, Involuntary Emissions
Premature Old Age caused by OYereAeftlOn, self
abuse OF oYcrndulgence, which leads 10 misery de
cay, and death. one box win cure recent cases. Each
box contains one months treatment One dollar u
box or six boxes for Ave dollars. sent by mall pre-
paid ON receipt Of price, We guarantee six boxes to
cure any case With each ordaf received by us for six
boxes accompanied with Ave dollars, we will send
the purchaser our written guarantee 10 return the
money Il the treatment does not eilecl cure Guar
antees Issued by STOTi x CROMWELL, IS0 Penn.
sylYanla avenue, Washington, n O., wholesale and
tentlOn. oclS'rrhSly
National Republican., 1881-08-16
Steamboat Sines.
Potomac Steamboat Co. S Advertisements.

FOR NORFOLK, PORTSMOUTH,, FORrRESS
MONROE, PINEN POINT, AND
POINT LOOKOUT.
steamer GEORGE LEARN, on TUESDAYS and
THURSDAYS at $3.50 y. M, aud SATURDAYS
EXCURSION TO THE CAPES EVERY SUNDAY
FROM NORFOLK.
Reduction of rates. beginning saturday, July 20.
uul further notice,
FiTsCluSs to Fort Monroe ana Norlulk- OO
FiT,cluSs round 20
FiTstClagS to pnry Point and Point LOOkout,.." | 10
iNirsciass round 90
;Gva .O""" ',p y" l",. io' " q
iou"u ~ a.vS 90
National Republican., 1881-08-16
0ropelere' CSmioe.
I8S1 Tlln GREAT 1881

1881 THE GREAT ooI
Ao' PEvNsYGvANrA ROUTE ACOA
TO THE 1oI, M9REEgI y + p WESr IS ANp s3GTHwEsF
spLENbT2BU 2US sokN S IN N SEgHFy dHAJI N EQUIP
TRAINS ffyE y yfEFTEEF h[aY h I9 gGm Depot
- nj, ner ct sixth and streets, as iollowsi ,,.
sleeping Cars 10 PittsSurs and Chicago; @ Gi io a. m
GnG dsy ysh - Sleeping ga Gers from Hsrsos6urs 9 Civ
wingr ISi9se Car e PiipsgspTTIs Ar pAnpoAn
with Paror Car 70 Watkins and the North at SOD
cent saturday with Palace Cars TO Canandalgus
For Wnismsport, Lock Haven and Elmra, atiop
For Ney YGyr SSS fbe Tss 800 1870 n n 200 1000
and iGi5p. mon sunday, 300 D. M, 1000 and ioh
Limited Express OF Pullman Parior Cars, o3o a m.
=, daily, except sunday; ,-.,-- .....
at Jersey tliy with boats OF " brooklyn Annex"
anorlins direct transfer to Fulton street avoiding
For Phiiaieipha 500 1890 q. M. 2oo s, lo 1000 and
1878 p. m. On SUNDAY. 200 p m. $40 1000 aud
Limited Express, mao a m. daily, except sunday ~,
40 $40, $50, 1000 ard lgl5 y M; on sunday. 500
ror m 1870 q MI 800 go So @ 1902 e Snd siS ~ n PIN
For XnEapOiiS XES So A. M and $40 p. M. daily, eSccp,
ALFXHSbRIA AND pFaEpERrcKsBuRa Rail-
TON RAiTROAD
For Alexandria, 76j 7:2o eso a. M. and li]o a. M
Sundays, go, SgO and Iisi6n, M and 500 y M
For Richmond and the south, 200 ~ III. and iO o. m
daily, and 500 y. IN. daily, except sunday. -
Trims leave Alexandria Tor w.shlngton G0o 500
and 1000 ~ M, i2i0 800, 500 900, and RIO p. NJ
and 1900 midnight SUNDAY, az $40 ana lUoO n in''
7.OOaud 0iO y. in
Tckcsand information can be procured at the ONCE.
northeast corner Of rhirtecnth street and Pennsyl.
vann avenue and at the station where orders can bs
let for the checking Of baggage to destination nom
hotels and residences.
u n. wOOD, General Passenger Agent
FRANK THOMSON. Gencral Manager -
baltimore AND ONO RAILROAD
.i.,In. .tnnn.r 4. .r An
National Republican., 1881-08-16
New Summer Arrangement.
The New and Elegant Steamer

W. W. CORCORA-N,
CAPTAIN l.. l.. BLAKE,
VIII make daily trips Sundays excepted TO all
points on the Potomac River ~ far down rs Glymont
Fare round trip 25 cents to all points except Mount
Vernon Boat leaves wharf foot OF seventh street,
at ten "a, NJ. and returns about $3.50 .. m. ON
SATURDAYS
the CorcOran will make Two trips, boat leaving wharf
at ten a, and six respectively, thus allowing
passengers 10 stop over ~ point until the return
second "trip, reaching Washington about 800 p, M,
making II desirable for PCnlcs and Fishing Parties
Families wishing to enjoy ride ON tho Potomac
during the warm summer months Will find 1t TO their
advantage 20 take the safe and commOdiOus steamer
Will be afforded for comfort and pleasure,
SUNDAY TRIPS
VIII bo made 10 Marshall HAL and indian Head every
SUNDAY AFTERNOON, boat leaving wharf NJ
hrefp. M, returning about eight p, NJ Fare, round
trip, 30 cents, iel-tf
National Republican., 1881-08-16

DAILY EXCURSIONS TO QUANTICo,.
via Excelsior, GaO u. m. and $40 p M. On SUM-
DAYS at y. m. only. ~
Nunnu lflp llCktlS,,.,..,s
Tickets tor sale and Information furnished ht COOKS
Tours, 1881 Pennsylvania avenue; lt09seS Cisas
to city Post.oiliCe. and az COmpnnys Oniee Seyehth
street wharf GEORGE hA1'flNGLH.
General Superintendent.
wNT 70 NEIIU Nonnt la25
National Republican., 1881-08-16
Gil Z IJI@
new EXPRESS STEAM PACKET LINZ

PHILADELPHIA, ALNNANDNIA, MD
WASHINGTON.
Leave rHILA AnELpMlh every saturday r'"rsls M
Arrive In WASHINGrON every Monday ,,",,,O a. m.
Leave WASHINGTON every Monday..,,..,,,,.5 p IN.
Arrive In PHILADELPHIA every Thursday % a. N
Through aud prompt connection with New YORK,
Boston, Fall River, and all points North, Through
Bills Laden given, Freight received and delivered
aaily until q u, M. w. l.. CLYDE S CO.,
j. II. Johnson & Co, Gen MAnagciS
Agents lath and 18TH NJ st, WharVeS s. W., l3U3 u
II. ". W, Washington ID. e. malily
National Republican., 1881-08-16
FOR RICHMOND u
All.

FOR RICHMOND, FREDERICKSBURG, AND
ALL POINTS SOUTH.
The new and splendid steamer EXCELSIOR, con.
Meeting with r., L. and =. II, H. Rt QuantiCO, twice
daily Except sunday, ut 800 u. M. and $3.50 D. IN.
Fare to Richmond, limited. %
Fare to RiChmOnd, 70
Fare TO Richmond, round trip, good for 10 days. 90
National Republican., 1881-08-16
Sotteriee.
-S5th-
or THE
Commonwealth Distribution Co.,

WEDNESDAY, AUGUST ~, 1851.
These drawings occur monthly Sundays excepted
| under provisions ofan act of the General Assembly
| OF Kentucky.
The United States Circuit Court, on March 81, ren.
dercd the following decision:
| First-That the Commonwealth Distribution Com.
| pnny Il legal.
SeCond-Its drawings are feir.
This company has now ul hand large reserve flnd.
Read carefully the list OF prizes for the
AtnTrGsr mn AN.yINn
San Marcos free press. [volume] (San Marcos, Tex.) 1877-1892, 1881-12-15

and threw the pieces in his face
Another time young man attempted
to measure the width Of nay back while
I was sitting in chair on the stage,
and tilted the chair over on top
of him. He didn't, try any moro
measurement business. Some people
imagine that because they pay their
money to see me they can insult me
with impunity, but they'll find out their
mistake ono of these fine days, for I'll
be tempted to-to-yes, sir, I'll sit on
somebody" ~
"Do you still claim to be the largest
fat woman in the world?" asked tho
reporter. 'A'ii DI\ ] -
"E1cuse me, sir, was the reply Civ
en-, with as much an appearance OF
freezing dignity as one possessing so
much warm giving adipose tissue is
capable Of, i"but I. do not recognize the
title. am said to be the largest large
lady on exhibition, but comparisons
are 'ojeons, andI don't care 70 speak
Of any of the large ladies now travelling
a around the country. 1t would only
produce ill feeling among friends. The
best way is to see and Judge for your
self" and the ponderous speaker bowl.
ed back beneath her slephantine tread
San Marcos free press. [volume] (San Marcos, Tex.) 1877-1892, 1881-12-15
AN uNFoUNpEp RUMoR.

as there any truth, Mrs. Battersby,
queried tho reporter, "in the rumor
that while you were in the upper berth
of sleeping coach, you fell through
and crushed an unfortunate Presby-
terrain minister into an unacceptable
mass?"
With hearty laugh the fat woman
replied in the negative. Il never oc-
cupy an upper berth, you may depend
said she, ~and always look out that the
lower one is strong enough to hold me.
As general thing, when / am travel
ing, have berth built expressly Tor
me. No, strange as it may seem,
never fell ON any one nor crushed
either minister or sinner. Sometimes
when 1 get angry 1 give impudent peo-
pie a knock down. / reconect, while
in Western mining town, young Top
came up with a tvO-fOOt rule to mea-
sure me across the shoulders 1 Just
took it away from him, broke IT in hall