The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1881-08-18
Getting Thlogs Mixed.

steadied himself with one hand against
the door-post after several fruitless efforts
to insert his latch key.
''Blamed if zher key'ole amt gettin'
too many for mel" he added, after long
contemplation of it," "There's bout six
of it now!
Mr.. Dalburton made IA desperate lunge,
missing the whole six, and skinning his
knuckles against the knob.
"Drat it! Ill (hic) have ter ring up
Dollie after air. he said, in chagrined
tone; "but hanged if / wouldn't S soon
take lickin'. For though Doll;e's n
angel, she's got (hie) got her little
failins."
Mr.. Dalburton's soliloquy was cut
short by the door opening quickly and a
figure in white coming to the fore.
''What do you mean by all this ham.
mering at the door?' demanded shrill
feminine voice. Where's yonr night.
"He-he-(hic) here fish; but you
shee, Dollie, zhe pesky key'ole's been a
(hic) cuttin' up insultin', an when I
went (hic) went ter punch its head, it
dod-- (hic) lodged, an l skinned my
knuckles on zhe door-knob."
"Pity you hadn't broken en-, was the
sympathetic answer.
"a pretty hour to come home att his
wife continued, as Mr.. Dalburton Stun
bled on the threshold, and all but fell
into the hallway.
"Why t amt (hic) late, Dollie," he
pleaded; "can't be more n leven."
"Eleven!-it's nearly three!'
"'Pon my word, zhen, Dollie, the City
Hall clocks got on a lark, an the hands
must be (hic) goin' round the wrong
way"
I'm afraid it's your head that's going
the wrong way" returned Mrs. Dalbur-
ton, closing the door with slam, while
Mr.. ID. wrestled out of his great coat
like lobster shedding its shell, and
flung it on the rack promiscuously-in-
sisting, the while, on explaining that the
reason he had been detained SO late was
that he had been obliged to see his old
friend, Erastus Switchell, home "Ras'
and he had met by chance at the club,
and Ras, as was his weakness, had taken
far too much wine to be trusted on the
street alone.
"And now 1 suppose by linking arms
and staggering opposite ways at once,
you held each other up" said Mrs. Dali
burton, dryly, as she showed her hus-
band towards the stairs, and gave him u
vigorous boost upwards.
Dollie Dalburton was up and about
betmes next morning, being, like all
good housewives, an early riser.
In putting things to rights her orderly
eve fell on Mr.. Dalburton's coat sleeve
hanging sprawling on the rack, with one
I'm inot1n ont whilst
Gus mud-splashes cast doubt, ut least,
on Mrs. Dalburton's theory as to the
effect, on their joint equilibrium, of two
booty men going arm-in-arm.
Dollie took down the coat to brush it
and hang it back properly; and, OF
course, began by going through the
pockets.
In one of them she found crumpled
note, which she smoothed out and read !:
my DEAR RAs," it ran; "You must
come up early this evening. You know
our engagement, and mustn't disappoint
me. Your loving LENA
Dollles face turned pale and then red.
She knew the writing perfectly. 1t was
that of her dearest friend, Lena Switch
ell, wife of her husbands last nights
companion.
Dollie was ablaxe with Indignation.
"The brazen wretcn!' she exclaimed,
"to write so to my husband--and to call
him her Dear Ras, just as do myself,
instead of by his full name Rasselas!
Dear Has,' indeed! dear rascal would
be nearer to it. But never mind ! I'll
settle. themw
On reflection, Dollie decided first Of
all to have it out with Lena Switchell,
holding back till afterwards the blowing
she had in store for Dear Ras."
When Mr.. Dalburton came down to a
late breakfast, looking much the worse
for the nights wear, he saw by his wifes
face that the matrimonial skies were not
yet clear; and having no desire to pre-
cipitate the storm, he made hasty meal
and went out. Dollie had hard work to
bride her tongue, but she did it, know
ing the time was near when she could
repay her self-denial with heavy inter
est.
Dollie hurried on her hat and shawl,
and started on her wrathful mission.
She had gone but little way, when
whom should she meet but the faithless
Lena? Both stopped, and, for moment,
stood face to face.
shameless creaturer' broke out
Dollie, thinking to crush her enemy at o
blow.
"You impudent thingr retorted tie
other, not crushed bit.