davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Towanda daily review. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1879-1921, 1881-08-10
CHCRCH DIRECTORlT.

PRESBYIERIAN-Rev. J. S. Stewart, DID,, Pas
tor. Preaching at 10 80 a. and p. m. eve
ry Sunday. Prayer meeting Thursday evening
ut 80. Sunday School-D'A. Overton, Superin,
tendent-at12 L O'Clock.
CHRIST Episcopal)-Rev john s.
Beers, Rector. Service and preaching at 10 80 a.
m. and 600 p. IN. Service and lecture Thurs day
evening at 80. Sunday School-Jas. Z. Hale,
Assistant Supt,-at Il M Teachers meeting
Tuesday evening at :45.
NJ, Z. CIIURCH.-Rev. G. II. Wright, Pastor
Preaching at 10 80 Il. m and p. IN. Prayer
Meetings on Sunday evening at 80, Thursday
evening at 80. Young mems prayer meeting
Friday evening at s. Sunday School-B. NJ Peck,
pcrntendent-at12m II m.
IS. PETER AND PAUL.--(R. c. Rev. Chas E.
Kelley, Priest Mass at and 10 80 a. m. Yes
pers at 80 p. M Sunday School at II 80 and
$50.
CHURCH OF TIE MESSIAH - Universalist)
Rev William Taylor, Pastor. Preaching at 10 80
a. m. and p. m. Prayer and Conference
Meeting Thursday evening at 7 80. Sunday
School-Dr Taylor, superintendent II IN.
BAPTIST CIURCH-Rcv. c. Y. Hallowel, Pastor
Preaching at 1913 A. NJ and p. NJ. Prayer
Meeting, Thursday Evening, P. NJ. Sunday
School at Il m.
BRETHREN-Services at 10 80 a. m. every Lords
day. Reading meeting every Wednesday evening.
Sunday y-schOol at p. IN.
Towanda daily review. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1879-1921, 1881-08-10
SOCIETY DIRECTORY.
MASONIC.

MASONIC.
Union Lodge, No. 10S, meets First and Third
Wednesday of each month.
Union Chapter, No. 161, meets Second Wednesday
evenings of each month
Northern Commandery, knights Templar, No. 16
Meets fourth Wednesday each month.
KNIGHTS OF PYTHIAs.
Towanda Lodge, No. 300. Meets every Tuesday
evening.
Endowment Rank, Section 1O1. Meets Third Fri
day iii each month.
ODD FELLOWS.
Bradford Lodge No. 167. Meets every Monday
light.
Bradford Encampment, No. Il. Meets Second and
Fourth Wednesday night of each month
Ieoh Lodge Degree of Rebeka. Meets First and
Third Fiday evenings of each month
KNIGHTS OF HONOR.
Crystal Lodge. Meets every Monday evening.
Mystic Lodge, K. and L. of III. Meets Second and
Fourth Friday evenings of each month.
G. A. r.
Watkins Post No. 6S. Meets every Saturday evening
KNIGHTS OF THE GOLDEN RULE.
Towanda Castle No. So. Meets at K of p Hall
every "Wednesday evening.
ROYAL ARCANUM.
Towanda Council, No. 532 meets first and third
Friday OF each month in X, ,'P. Hail.
Towanda daily review. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1879-1921, 1881-08-10
BUSINESS LOCALS.

GEORGE LYNCHCOME has removed his
barber shop from the room over POWELL &
Co.'S store, 10 his old quarters under the
Meat Market, one door south of Ward House,
where he will be pleased to see all his former
patrons and everybody else desiring tOnsorial
services.
liavlng sold my retail Furniture and Un
taking business, known as the Bridge Stree t
Furniture Store to T.. b. Pierce ! would re-
Spectfully recommend those III need of goods
III his line TO call on him at the old stand.
| also wish to inform those indebted to me
that it will be necessary to settle the accounts
soon. n. Z. HICKS.
January l, 1891.
HOTEL FOR SALE. L offer the American
Hotel property for sale on very reasonable
termS-one half the purchase mon, down
given April |, 1881. There is a good barn
connected with the property. This hotel is
located on the corner of Bridge and Water
streets, IN Towanda borough. The free
bridge and new depot near to it make this
hotel desirable for any one wishing to engage
in the hotel business. Call upon or address,
JOSEPH G. PATTON. Towanda. Pa.
"What everybody wants is the best organ for
the least amount of money: Therefore every
body wants the Burdett: and when you've
said that, you've told the whole story"
So say the brightest and busiest organ
dealers throughout the land, who are furn
ishing this matchless instrument to mllsica
public, which is rapidly learning to distinguish
its marvellously pure and beautiful voice
from that which is not music. For sale by
j. A. ManVille, No. 3 Bridge ST., Towanda.
Passengers going West will save money by con
suting II. E. BABCOCK, Ticket y gent, TOwanda, Pa,
before purchasing tickets.
| had been great sufferer from Neuralgia
for years and had consulted great many diff
fcrent physicians, but got no cure until | took
Dr.. Burr's Neuralgia and Sick Headache Pills;
they cured me and | have recommended to
over fifty persons and | have never known
them to fail. They are also the best nervous
and dyspeptic pill | ever saw.
SIDNEY BROADBENT.
Master Mechanic. Dickens Manufacturing
Company, Scranton, Pa.
The Henry House has recently recruited its
resources with the addition to its cellar of
pipe of pure English Ale-hOme-brewed and
genuine. This excellent malt liquor will be
found a useful natural tonic for the invalid,
and satisfy the palate of the most fastidious
epicure. a word to the wise is sufficent--so
savs the latin proyerb. Oct. A.
Pomona Grange No, 23, p. of H., will hold its
next Regular Meeting at West Warren Grange
Hall, No. 29S, on Thursday, August II, 1881, ut
O'Clock p IN. y general attendance of 4th degree
members is requested. DWIGHT kELLUM, Secy.
Towanda daily review. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1879-1921, 1881-08-10
THE GREAT
BURLINGTON ROUTE.

g5Y-No other line runs Three Through Pas
senger Trains Daily between Chicago, Des
Moines, Council Bluffs, Omaha, Lincoln ST.
Joseph, Atchison, Topeka and Kansas City.
Direct connections for all points in Kansas,
Nebraska, Colorado, Wyoming, Montana, Ne
yada, New Mexico, Arizona Idaho, Oregon and
California.
The Shortest, Speediest and Most Comforta-
BILE Route via Hannibal to Fort Scott, Denison,
Dallas, Houston, Austin, San Antonio, Calves
ton and all points in Texas.
The unequaled inducements offered by this
Line toTravelers and Tourists, are as follows:
The celebrated Pullman Q6-wheeD Palace
Sleeping Cars, run only on this Line, C., b. &
Reclining Chairs. No extra charge for Seats
lin Reclining Chairs. The famous c., r. g. Q.
Palace Dining Cars. Gorgeous Smoking Cars
fitted with Elegant High-Backed Rattan Re-
volving Chairs for the exclusive use of first
class passengers.
Steel Track and Superior Equipment COM
bined with their Great Through Car Arrange
ment, makes this, above all others, the favorite
Route to the South, South-We est, and the Far
West.
Try it, and you will find travelling luxury
instead of discomfort
Through Tickets via this Celebrated Line
for sale at all offices in the United States and
Canada.
All information about Rates of Fare, Sleep
ing Car Accommodations, Time Tables, &C.,
will be cheerfully given by applying to
j. @, A. BEAN, Gen'l Eastern Agent
BOG Washington St., Boston. Mass.
and 3l7 Broadway, New York,
JAMES r. WOOD, Gen. Pass. Agt., Chicago.
L. j. POTTER, Gen. Manager, Chicago.
Towanda daily review. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1879-1921, 1881-08-10
FOR RENT.

Two dwelling houses in the First Ward
for rent O. d. KINNEY
For RENT.-The office lately occupied by
VIM. NJ. Mallory as coal office. Apply to
ID. w. Scott.
Towanda daily review. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1879-1921, 1881-08-10
g H. BEAN,
~. Plain and Ornamental Painter,
AND PAPER HANGER.

All work in his line promptly executed on shor
notice From long experience both in city and
country, he prdes himself on being able to suit the
most tastidious.
Towanda daily review. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1879-1921, 1881-08-10
YR.aBeELEER,S GUIDE.

AND y. Y. r. Il.
Trains on the Pa. 81 y. Y. Il. Il. pass this place
as follows:
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1881-08-13
Grasshoppers as Food.

In the Sierra and Martis valleys Indian hut:
can be seen, and IN and around them are con
gregated the warriors and squaws Of the tribe
their sisters, cousins and their aunts, all in
tent upon the accomplishment of the grand
result. AS usual, the squaws do the work
while the noble lords loll upon the green
sward, smoke their pipes and dreamily and
lazily gaze upon the countless myrlads of buz
zing hoppers that fill the air and devour the
vegetation. The squaws, carrying great cone
shaped baskets of great capacity, scoop the
grasshopPers with fanshaped implemen,
into their large baskets, and when loaded car
ry the wiggling mass of insects to camp and
then prepare them for food. The grasshoppers
killed and subsequently, dried, are mixed with
mashed pine nuts and cracked wheat, and
made into bread, most delicious to the palate
of the WashOe. White visitors at the camp
are always invited, in accordance with Indian
hospitality, to partake Of the compound, and
great is the establishment of poor Lo at the
disgust expressed by the white man for food
of this kind To the limited mind of the In.
dian, 1t IS Incomprehensihlc that anyone
should reject food which in his vernacuar Is
defined as being "muchee good"
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1881-08-13

"Really but hope you will excuse the IN
trus.on," SAID the shabby looking man as The
insurance agent looked up.
"YOu are eXcusable. sir. What did yor
wish w
"Well, you see, I'm bit mixed Was il
Napoleon or Washington that crossed the
Alps'"
Napoleon, Of course"
Jus, so-thanks was inclined that way
myself, but yet knew that Gen. Washia gtou
have taken it into his head to cross the Alps
Good day, SIR"
He passed down the hall about thirty feet
and then protested:
"Say, don't think i'll of me, but I am still
mixed up-dresdfuly mixed mp. Will you
answer me one more question:"
"Yes."
"Was 1t Nero that commanded the sun to
stand stillg
"NO; IL was Joshua"
II had an idea 1t WAS, hut didn't dare to
put up money on 1t. Nero was always ii-
ding around, you know, and had dim idea
that he might have taken whack at the sun.
Very much obliged To you, SIR
This time be went halt way down stairs. and
returned on tip-toe. The agent looked up and
saw him in the door, and sharply queried:
"Wellr'
MIXED agalnr ~ pleaded the stranger. "Say,
! just want to ask you just one more question"
yea
"Did you ever lend man dollar to help
HIM on his way to Columbus to see his dying
wifer
"Neverr You are thinking Of old DIogeuss.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1881-08-13
The Bo,dess Rob berry on Record.

On the last day Of The Kansas City ExpOsi
| ton In 1872, the James and Younger brothers
| committed q robbery which tor holiness and
startling originality discounted The efforts oil
any robbers before or since Ats o'clock in
the afternoon, after Mr.. Hall, the treasurer OF
the association, now Of the Chicago Jockey
Club, had been around to the various en-.
trance s to collect the money, six ordinary ap.
| pearing men rode up to the Office at the prin.
window, said TO MIR. Hall, ~ if from curiosi.
~;
How much money is there IN that boX?"
| To which the accommodating treasurer re.
Piled that there was in the neighborhOod of
$4,000. Then said the inqulsitive stranger:
Suppose Jesse James should come along
here and tell you to give that up, what would
you do then,"
II should refuse" said Mr.. Hall, smiling.
well, l am Jesse James," said the Ques.
toner, leaning half way through the window,
and holding u cooked pistol under the treas
ufer's nose, land | reckon you had better pass
! that money over
| Mr. Hall thought so too and acted according.
w.,
The money was placed IN u sack carried by
one Of the party, and they rode calmly down
Twelfth street in full view of the populace.
The cheek displayed can only be appreciat
Ell when the fact Is taken into consideration
that there were ut least calculation $4,000 PEG.
pie on the ground, and men were passing in
and out the gate every minute.
That evening party of men rode up IN
front OF a newspaper office on Fourth street
and called loudly by name for the editor
That gentleman came down stairs and was
presented with an elegant gold watch with
the compliments OF Jesse James and com.
nand." The gentleman who received the
present Is editing paper In an interior town,
aud still regulates the movement Of the sun
by his time piece. The police of the city did
not apprehend any of the outlaws at the time,
and have continued to do SO ever since Kan.
sas CITY Journal.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1881-08-13
ParegoricaiIy Speaking and Scholarly Re.
tAtneU.

He filled the tumber quite full, took 1t as
he did palegoric in the days of his infancy
and then remarked:
perhaps on the whole as the night has far
waned, and my family are on their spiral
springs end in their trundles, you had better
put nv bottle away on the upper shelf, and
when PhG5us and Apollo begin to canter their
golden prancers along the avenues of the pur.
ping east, will call for it, and you may then
assess me the appropriate amount of ducats"
The barkeeper sprang over the bar and be-
gan to kick him.
"What," he said, sweetly, you kick me after
have drank? Don't you know better than
that? KICK me with both feet can not feel
you even then. Before took that glass if you
had hut shook your fist at ME you would have
wounded me--hurt me; but now l scOrn the
physical punishment. Good night" said he,
as he stood on the door steps. ~ see by the
shadows on the sidewalk that you have kicked
me again. You should remember, my irascl-
BILE publican, what the dear old poet said:
Fate cannot harm me now; have dined to.
day So say l. have drunk to night Good
night, governor! How much the sparkling
armament looks like far off city, lit up for
teslal night, Farewell shall see you later"
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1881-08-13

Crpsus makes his home IN San Francisco
as well as IN New York. Vanderbilt is proba.
ply the richest man in the United States, If not
In the world, and there are some few million.
aires scattered about New York and New Eng
land but San Francisco shows long list of
heavy capitalists. In that city James G. Fair
is assessed at sac 200 900; James e. Flood at
1916, 500 900 for himself and $50 500 900 as trus-
tee for j. w. Mackey. Leland Stanford Is
named at s2o,000,O00. So is Charles Croker
Mrs. Mary F. Hopkins is assessed Sl7,2l00O0
and there are lots of minor millionaires too
numerous TO mention.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1881-08-13

THE UNDERGROUND WORLD OF ENGLAND
The proposed tunnel between England anc
France under the Channel has suggested the
preparation of some interesting statistics in
regard to what may be called the underground
world of England. According to these fig
ures the number of persons employed IN En-
glsh mines, many of whom live in them con
stan ly, is more than three hundred and sew
envy thousand; in other words there are men
women and children below the British soil
sufficient to torn one of the largest cities OF
second rank. The length OF tunnelling in
which they labor is set down at the extra0rdl.
nary figure of nearly tifty.nine thousand
miles. The deepest gallery Is at the level OF
twenty,eight hundred feet These facts and
figures are adduced in The support of the prac.
ticabilty of constructing and operating the
Channel tunnel. The depth of the Channel,
it seems, is nowhere more than one hundred
and eighty feet, and taking this as basis it is
estimated that the lowest part Of the tunnel
would not lie more than two hundred feet from
the surface. If the engineers figures and the
cries be correct the project is not only pract-
cable but SIMPLIFY y. Herald.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1881-08-13

A FUNNY OLD Story. Tom Marshall was
engaged in the trial ofa case in the interior Of
Kentucky, when decision Of the Judge struck
him 81 bad that he rose and said:
"There never was such a ruling as that since
Pontius Plate presided on the trial of Christ"
Mr.. Clerk responded the Judge fine Mr.
Marshall $40 for contempt of court"
a. confess, your Honor" continued Tom
that what said was a little hard on Pontus
Plate hut it is the first time in the history OF
Kentucky jurisprudence that it is held that to
speak dsrespecti'ully of Pon,us Plate Is con.
tempt of court"
"Mr Clerk, make the fine $50 for contin-
uous contempt" said the Judge solemnly.
"Well, Judge" Tom added, " as you won
all my money last night at poker, lend me
twenty"
Mr.. Clerk, " cried the Judge, hastily, re.
mt the fine. The State can afford to lose the
money better than | can"
"Icongra,ulate the court upon its return to a
sane condition." said Tom resuming his seat
amid roars of aughter-From the Capital!
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1881-08-13
Elephantlne Morality.

Hundreds OF men and women have laughed
over the picture of the monkey using the cats
paw to take Chestnuts of the hot stove. Per
haps few of the laughers have recognized
themselves either In the monkey or IN The cat.
Yet 1t is common practice to use others to do
that for us which we would not do for our
selves We may think that We thereby es-
cape responsibility. But the legal maxim
which asserts that what one does through an
Other he does himself, is not only good law
but good morals. He who influences another
to act for him is responsible for the character
of that others actions.
Singular as it may seem, elephants who
have associated with men also entertain the
notion that they are not responsible if they use
some one else to do wrong act An anCCdote
will illustrate this elephanline morality
A gentleman in RangoOn bought three
young elephants to send to England. They
were tame and playful but cunning. Know.
ing that it was wrong to steal paddy (unhuskcd
rice)-the idea had doubtless been impressed
upon them by punishment for stealing--they
would not touch it themselves; but ii u boy
went to see them he would be seized by one
the little trunk coiled around his arm, and
be lead to where the paddy was kept in bags.
The elephant would make cats paw OF the
boys hand to take up a handful of paddy
Then letting go, he would turn up the end of
his trunk, open it and coaxIngy invite the
boy 10 drop in the paddy. Should the boy
however, put 1t back in the bag his arm would
he again seized by the trunk and his hand
again inserted into the paddy bag The boy,
anxious to be released, would usually drop the
paddy into the trunk. and the elephant would
blow the rice into his mouth After repeating
the operation several times, the elephant
would scamper off, feeling tina, he had got his
paddy without stealing 1t.
There are not few men who have that ele
plants notion of morals, and congratulate
themselves whenever they have made another
person do smart" thing tor them Youh'S
Companion.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1881-08-13

He used to shell out TO every dead beat who
came along"
mixed again, by thunder!" muttered the
man, and rs he passed down stairs he took
great pains to set his feet down on each step
like a man who had bet on three Of a kind and
found a flush taking his money Detroit Free
Press
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1881-08-13

Wife (who has been sitting up"): We'll
this Is pretty time to come home! 4 O'Clock"
Husband (who has taken nothing but one
glass of curious compound spoken of by him
self az "Whiskanwarra'): "Wha' you mean
madame by forhlock" Unfort'nly tor you,
madame. 1t sho appens, curiOuslenuff, !
persh'd Trinity, madame, and heard It strike
(hic) several times, madame!" Retires to bed
in triumph and his boots.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1881-08-13

SHARKs.-The recent panic among bather
at Coney Island, Long Branch and other wa
terlng places IN the vicinity OF New York OF
account of the sudden appearance of grea
schools of sharks In New York bay and ad
jacent waters, ELECTS from the Commercial Id
Ueuiser the following remarks:
Our younger readers will be SURPRISED anC
shocked to hear that a book has recently beer
published with the sole object of proving that
contrary to the settled belief of centuries
sharks do not eat human beings or animals
The author of Are Sharks Man eaters :" say.
that he has examined hundreds of seamen
whaemen, pearl-divers, South Sea Islanders
Kroomen wreckers, those whose lives are most
ly spent upon the water, and he can state posi-
lively that he had never seen or heard of q
Northumberland instance of shark seIzing
and carrying off a living man or living land
animal of any kind whatever. In order tC
prove at least that the author is not afraid OF
sharks, he says he has made a practice OF
bathing, whenever he has had an opportunity
to do SD, without any consideration for sharks
and that he has seen hundreds of others doing
the same thing all over tropical waters infested
by sharks. More than that, "he has been over
board with two companions, far from relief OF
any Kind, within five fsthoms of three large
sharks ct the most blindly voracious variety
whose large fins were plainly in sight between
them and the shore, to which they were swim.
ming" Naked divers he has also seen jump
from boat almost on top OF a ground shark
Nevertheless, ID spite Of this testimony, we
believe there is good evidence to show tina,
sharks do eat men-or kill them. at least
when they get chance. We shrink from be.
leving that all of the thrilling stories of
death struggles with sharks" etc, are pure
And what loss to the juvenile re-
pertory of marvels. We can't afford to lose
the man eating shark
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1881-08-13

Moses Shomberg, upon returning to his
store on Galveston a, venues from dinner, found
his clerk very much excited The clerk said
that a stranger came IN, and after asking and
paying the price OF cravat, which was 81
picked up the entire box, containing adozen
and ran off with them. Did ne pay you dc
iollar?" asked Nose. YES" responded the
clerk. "Vell, den, We makes anyhow fifty pei
Neins
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1881-08-13

II can't very we'll express which it--what
there do not--you are very am not, sir,
unsensible-the fact is" said the dlflident man,
suddenly called to his feet for speech at a
public dinner, III can't make a speech and
can't say anything would understand or you
would wisn to hear but il it pleases you to see
me blush and sweat will stand here on one
leg and persplre for the next ten minutes"
They let him f"--Burlington HankEy.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1881-08-13

Yes, said the witness, IL remember the de-
tendan.'s mother crying on the occasion re-
terred to- She was weeping with her left eye
the only one she has-and the tears were
running down her right cheek" WHAT
exclaimed the Judge, how could that be ~
"Please, your Honor said the witness, "she
vas awfully cross-eyed."
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1881-08-13

my what steep HILL And zee those tel
Or eleven wretches packed IN one wagon, tina
the poor staggering horse can hardly draw.
"Wretchesy Them are all Christians, mum
gong to camp.meetlng"
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1881-08-13

Two children born few weeks ago in the
canton of Vaud, Switzerland. were joined to-
geiher In the same manner as the Siamese
twins. II was believed that as infants the liga-
ment which joined them together might with
success be severed, and the operation was &C
cordingly performed. No apparent perma-
nent injury was caused by it, and several days
Afterwards the twins were reported 10 be doing
we'll.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1881-08-13

A witness was on the stand III an illegal Ii.
quor sale case The counsel was trying to find
out in what kind of q glass the liquor was
handed to the witness, and at last exclaimed
what kind of looking glass was it?' BE.
gorra, sor, 1t was not u looking glass at all, II
vas u tumber"
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1881-08-13

"Oh, I can't bear that Simpkin's girl, she is
such dumpy thing!" exclaimed Mrs. FogC
why, DEAR" SAID Fogg, II don't think she is
At all dumpy." My love-" rejoined Mrs. F.
with whitening look, did you ever see tall
dummy" Fogg is now convinced that pun
ming is the lowest form of Wit.