The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1881-06-23

aaIiasg' asA qsa.s& a.sss
NUMBER 15.
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

,f,t PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS ~ Elspa
lowed to spring A,rhe frogs ability aoti
10 get. over the. ground. - SomerviHe sa.
| Journal. #""
!. rWhen a young man wants 10 pro-ou9o
tect young lady he naturally puts his, Sn
armor round her.-Bost0n Globe
The equity man is generally looked go
| upon as high liver too high to be sssts
reached by, . liver pad.-New orleans =,
Picayune. assss 1&a4 hs24'
Too long courtships are not alwuss ri
sjudicious. The partys often, tire out s,
skoreing fore the trot begins.-Josh
Billings. ~ tai s NEsss a ssg sss EN fnHssgssi
f0E-The man who woke, up one bitterly. "a
cold night and found he had kicked all e@4
the clothes off was surprised, !, but he 4sis.
quickly recovered, boston Post. AL ...s-s,
"A. Russian sigh-Siberia. .-Cinci,s-
matt Saturday Night 9A'Westefn sishaaz tss
Cyclone. Capsbridge Tribune An iln-ss =;
welcome sigh-Sciatica.- a.-Boston Globe
An Eastern sigh-Siann = Detroit Free esoi
-gl;7, ~ Yes" said Pendleton. swellingiy, =
|, ,"what am can truly say tlaas nv Ssa,
wife made me.' fsNet very compliment a..
ary to Mrs. Pendleton," remarked $50
Blunt in asstage Whisper Boston, 7san-sas,s'
SCRIPT. ggass9 0ssa ass f,g.uge aa .a4s F,Essn
.,l--Mother Shipto has strapped ON her
liver pad, bought q set of ten dollar gci
teeth, row OF 9hangs and q bottle of sxsaq
bloom OF youth" and has concluded,
g live down her prophecies. - Ne0a asssa
HoOen ffegaster. &c Gstfaa4aa aaam as 81
The wise man looketh at the bottom
OF the column to see if the story il to be 90
continued In the s--2- but the fool esa8
takes "A Leap in the Dark" reads ON
and concludes with the use of profanity sssss'
s57lH City Devsck. aAst 8dsla zswE baasn.
i II The, Russian Nihilists were. very -,
foolish to kill the Gar with d BOMB = 81
! They might have dispatched hinf muehgs sos
more genteely, if not as expedltionsly, ~..;
py sending for an American book agent A~'a
20 talk hmm to sde&thl% R6hse Sext9alt5 sssea
s'a tee7 .sHgn ~ .5Ts5a 7sdarpsesaug,
I. = TRY Trye Happiness. -
Brother Gardner, ii The fihekifh eYab. I'd
am tbsde efeck dat.deH HemsA be,E0ss,.a sj,;
ford. Of Howell, Mich, has arove in de
'chy at my request u deli6er his ceele ;sEsssi
brated leptnrs on True Hsppinssaa sbefok okags,
disclpb: He. am now in de aunty- room,
AM Sr Isaac Waipole al Hev..Penstock a<
win donsde proper Tegaliaan' fotch him ] ire
IN. -
Tn the course a the hsxtinys RshStssi siaaaa
the Hon sMrs Lossfepd Was rfstcllsdf.r "a
'ds had op new suit, walked like Ma
platform with all the ease Of Nerosn ssaazf.1 =
;:ssGem'len,'' he began, as he. looked :
down upon the bald head of EFdefs9 ed:
Toptss siiiihoW many OF you know what n.s i,
real happiness ART Dat is, how many
OF you doans know nufhn sbous ifpl O66sas .sa
fucius sthought he was shappy,s but he, al,
wasn't. He didn't know muffin Bout
waterne1l5 5ons. or persim fnofis; or greene So
CORN. nj Cesar thought he was ehsppy,a ~ /.
but he didn't know muffin bout popcorn,
or hickory y-nuts, or sweet CIDER Plato nSsa
said he had muffin 70 regret, an; yet he f,s-y
neber went in swimmin', or was on
skatess z or tended = Sunday llSkuIsas ail
0asAsf D Ar Kin Seauty oai afGRo RoSss, Fcs.
kin gin us luxdries, am health kim neas1ni odi
US good appetites an refreshin'. sleep, i. a,
but happiness am sunthin' beyond alf ~
dat. When you shoulder D fsh- -pdaef9nt2 adt
put box o baitin yer pocket an, start..r
off to fish you think you am happy, but -
how isit 'long bout snndoxvn when yaif ;s2a
come home wild one poo ole sunfsh in -.
q peck basketp De young man VINO a3aN
hires q libery rid an takes his galloutdT
ridin' may think he's happy, but he 49,
isn't When he comes to sfgger up de = =
cost Of his Sundag clothes, de hireaof Essn
de rig, de chances Of smashin', q wheel -
am brokin' de gals neck, whar' am de 1ozss
Some of you euli, Id folkses sznls
git hold Of q watermelyon an sot down
in de shade fur from de busy hum Of IN sssaia
dustry an 20 yuml yumls am imaxins jand
dat you am happy. I've bin dar,. an it. -
makes my mo1if pucker to think Of IL, tDsaH
but wasI happyP No. sab! gWhena IosisEr
come to reekolect dat p'raps some Will
yam had plugged de fruit an dosed il assss
wild jatap,9 an 'datain sano6sx iiouraI aIa4ssto
might be standin, on de banks OF. de
mys site ribber Ibroke down an cried s1
" Am YOU happy when you fnd loststaar
wallet With heap q money in itP No. -.
sab, Ibecase apurleecenaii am afids nfgh Tvs
'nuff to see youo pick itnpJ Am Won olssig
happy when you am gwine up to Lake 80.
kase de biler may bust. Amgen happy a.i.
when you sot down to eat apples in the .vn
busupl Of your familyp No, ssi, kase
thoughts Of trychina am risin'f an atost9yi1
make you afraid. You can't be happy.
In new clothes. kase you am afeared de kssTgs
pants will bag al Dc knees You can't ssiT
be happy in an old suit, kase some one
win start 4 story dat YOU have bin ava
speckulatin' IN pork rsnh lestsall yer. hna
- Daff0re, ys0 you 10 xvs apom VI
lookin' for itrse lhappipssA paraa teaGsgsy
many burglars an robbers an liars an
snakes an skeetefs 1afs bugs n snow tssosfE
an mud an dust in dis world TO permit y1em
ofl anythin' beyond temporary. enjoy =
ment. Be as happy As you KIN, hut I
don't let emagipation mp away, wild y0u, I 4.,sw
Dat is, when you sharpen your Ak, look
ahead fur 'nuif to sx1 yefseh VINO am ofiw "
gwine ohreak his back at de handle ofde 4ay
grinestun. Wild desc few transgressions,