The Brookhaven ledger. (Brookhaven, Miss.) 1875-1883, 1881-09-15
DIR Dessert.


Aman is rich so long as he earns
he spends.
T is often silent; but a tea-party is
the boisiest thing on record.
The mar who receives and exchanges
a counterfeit bill returns good for evil.
.Ah, ha! said the farmer to the
corr, SOP, boel" said the corn to the
farmer.
John and Jane were not married, al
ter all. For though John wooed, Jane
wosed not.
Agents wanted for a patent medicine,
because it will be highly lucrative to the
undertaken.
Mrs. Darlington saws that Ike has
got a horse so spirituous that he always
goes in a G~ecanter.
A lady friend says that bachelors are
like a batch OF biscuits, good enough
after they are mixed.
q Cenaeit is TO nature what paint is to
beauty; IL is not only needless, but
impairs what it would improve.
The umbrella is unbiased. 1t pro-
tects the criminal as well as Secretary
of State. or n Brooklyn clergyman.
"Pray, madam, why did you give
your hen such a peculiar name as
'Macduf?'. because l wanted her to
lay OIL
An exchange says: STREAMS all over
thecpultry are running dry" This is
acanard. When a stream is dry it
cant run.
No one, by merely conversing with a
fish, ever succeeded in drawing HIM
out. That's so. You must drop a line
10 him.
II a could talk out Of the two
corners Of her month at the same time,
there would be a good deal said on both
sides.
Wifat is the difference between n mar
making a pig of himself and a pig ma.
king a slutton OF i self? The pig stands
the best chance Of being cured.
There ia a young lady in Brooklyn
go refined in her language that she new
or uses the word ''black gnard." but
substitutes african Sentinel"
Mrs. Darlington wants to know il 1T
were not intended that women should
drive their husbands. why are they put
through the bridel ceremony.
A married lady said to her husband:
"You have never taken me to the Gem
etry," mo, dear he replied. THAT is
n pleasure | have yet in Anticipation.
sob. give me anything made of
beans" exclaimed a Boston Ian taken
sick in the West, when asked what he
would have to eat, They gave him cas-
tor oil.
Alcohol will clean out the inside of
an inkstand. 1t will also clean ont the
inside Of n pocket-book quicker and
more thoroughly than anything else on
record.
A gentleman coming into the room of
the late DIR. Barton, told him that MIR.
Vowel was dead. What said he,
Vowel dead? Let us be thankful
that it was neither u nor L."
Good morning, Mr.. Henpeck, have
Won got any daughters that would make
good type setters?" mot exactly, but
I have got a wife that would make a
irst>rate devil"
A lady wished a seat. A portly hand
some gentleman brought one and seated
the lady. "Ohl you're a jewel" said
she. ''Oh! no. he replied. I'm a jew
eler; ] have just set the jewel"
One day. at a farm house, a wag saw
an old gobler trying to eat the etrings of
some night caps that lay on the ground
to bleach. THAT" said he, sis what
call Introducing cotton into Turkey"
Why is a lovers visits to his sweet
heart like avillsge newspaper? Because
they commenced asa weekly. then grew
to a tri-weekIy. and finally become
daily, with a Sunday supplement.
The London Standard refuses to pub
lish a report of the university sports,
because some of the committee were
lie Courteous to the reporter. We DO
these thinqs better in America. The
reporter holds his peace, writes o fine
account of the affair aud spells the
names of the committee wrong.
You are always kicking up a row.
said a gentleman to n negro and his
wife, who were having n ''muss." "Why
is there 10 harmony in your house?"
"Dat's jess what ] was tellin' the lazy,
Wufess niggah." said the woman. "Dar
amt no hominy in de bouse. nor no
mat. and de bacon's all eat up, an de
meal bari is empty. He's de only ting
in de house what's full all de time"