Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1881-02-18
Poetry,
Trouble in the Choir.
By A. T. WORDEN,

Trouble in the Choir.
BY A. T. woRDEN,
There was something 50 unusual in the inging of
the choir
That the Elder looked up mildly from the tenth of
jeremiah,
And with readiusted eyeglasses looked along the
foremost row.
While a hundred necks were twisted in stare from
all below.
As before the rolling thunder comes distant. wall
ing mOan
There was presage OF disturbance in the very
gan's tone,
Just the popping ct the pckets ere the battles aw
full dir,
Or the tuning OF th4 fddes ere tae orchestra
begun.
An unprecedented observer might have with
half an eye
There was waiting an explosion that would send
them all sky-high,
Or spontaneous comLusticn to accept d modern
name,
That was waiting Just motion to burst forth into
fame
The Soprano sas in grandeur, with her book before
her face.
With her back comb turned III anger on Sne Aito
and the Bass;
While the Tenor stood beside her with an elevated
and the organist paved madly at the pedals with
his toes.
How could any one but Angels sing when they were
feeling SO,
Though the hymn was. Songs OF Giadness, they
would make it Sounds Of Woe
When we sing about devotion some devotion we
must feel,
Or our plantve tones OF worship VIII pafiake soihe
what of squeal
But the Alto sung her solo, and then left it to the
Bass,
Who was gnawing at his mustache, and was look
ing for the place:
While the Organlst in anger sung the leading part
alone,
And the Tenor tired to follow, but it ended IN
groan.
AS the horror-stricken people heard the dlscord
rising higher,
IT was patent to the simplest there was trouble III
choir.
And +ha organist. in fury. closed the organ with
And the Alto sobbed IN anguish anu ,ne ohoii ii'u
gone to smash
When the Elder went among them with view to
reconcile,
The Soprano told he story with sangalhary
smile:
1t appeared the wretched Chorster had introduced
a girl .
With brand-new style OF singing and most dis
tracing curl.
tha climax this uSurDer wore a
hat,
HIST a duck. GEM beauty and it made the rest
look fiat;
And the straw that broke the camel's back and
made the wreck complete
She came early Sunday morning and usurped the
leading seat.
When the Elder asked the Tenor why he left he
said: because
The Sonrano SAID his chest tones sounded just like
filing saws;
And he overheard the Alto one night whispering TO
the Bass,
That a man with such mustache was palpable
disgrace
And the Bass informed the Elder that he sacrificed
his views
When he came and Joined the Elder CHOIR, 10 help
fill up his pews
He was au Episcopaian, and if people thought he'd
take
ANY nonsense from Baptist they made grea'
mistake
Then the Organist and Alto both put on an injured
look.
Saving something in an undertone about a change
of book;
And the Elder overheard them. as he gently closed
the door,
Use the words, ga poor cid Fogy.; and "A senti
mental Bore.''
And he scratched his poor old NOODLE. ashe rambled
down the street,
With his spectaces his forehead and his slippers
on his feet:
And really think the Elder has hope Of pouring
On the troubled sea OF music to allay the sad tur-
MOL.
In the meantime service opens with old China Or
"Bethune.'
And the Deacon with his tunefork gives tie people
all the tune:
And the organ gathers cobwebs and the people ga
Their grace
While they roar out Coronation to thu Deacon
hoarsest bass.
-JttcG OJSefCef.