The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1881-08-03
WIT AND HUMOR.

Now that Rowell has walked and
Tanner has starved, the next contest
will be between two fashionable
young ladies, who will test thei.
strength by seeing which can wear hel
spring hat the longest
Mrs, Domesticity calls at the kitch-
en- furnishing store. slave you Cook
stewers?" she asks. The dealer /.
~dumbfounded until lie is shown al
advertisement of Cooks tours,' n he.l
be directs her to the nearest railroad
Office.
He was sitting in the parlor Will,
her when b rooster crowel in the
yard, and leaning over he said =
"Chanticleer." II wish to ~graciou.
you would" she said : Ppm as sleepy
as l can be-" lie took his hat and
left, and hasn't been back since.
an going TO a ball,
Baby mine. Daby mine,
Don't you dare to up and sqasili
Baby mine. baby minei
dad" will stay at home with you,
He'll spank you. If you do
spank you Till you're black AMI blue,
Baby mine. baby mine,
"Papa, didn't you scold me the otb-
or day, for biting my little ~brothcr?"
"ies, my child. 1t was very naugh-
ty." "Thcn, papa, you ought to scold
mammals piano-teacher, for lie Bit her
on the lips the other day, and it must
have hurt her too, for she put her
arms around his neck as if she wanted
to strangle him"
The following is printed as the mod
ell recommendation OF a servant The
bearer has been in my house a year.
minus eleven months. During that
time she has shown herself diligent-
Mt the house door; frugal-in work !.
mindful-of herself; prompt-in ex.
cuses; friendly-toward men faith
ful-to her lovers; and honest-whcn
everything has vanished.
as your programme full, Miss Dec
t~lecrusher!" asked a young man of q
st. Louis damsel, who had just strug-
glcd out of . refreshment room with
disappointment in her eye and an
"order of dances" in her hand. "Pro-
gramme full?" said the daughter OF
the setting sun. "Waal, 1 gucss noti
l hain't had nothing but a piece OF
cake, and an ice cram, an they don't
go very far toward filling my pro-
gramme, l can tell you"
Doctor" said a lisping fashionable
belle, who had graduated at half a
dozen boarding schools, TO a friend OF
ours, who had just been introduced 10
her at an evening party-"ioctor,
which do you prefer, tholidity of ia
tellect oil brillianihe? Thum admire
tholidity; but ath for me, ath Shaktli.
peare thayth in hith Bride of Ably
doth,' Il prefer tholidity and brillian-
thy combined" The doctor sank ill.,
to the nearest chair exhausted.
'1Oh, pshaw" petulantly exclaimed
Miss Lydia Languish, looking up
from the last new novel, in response
to o summons from her mother 10
come and assist in preparing dinner.
"Oh, pshaw! l am just where Edward
de Courccy Montalbert is about 10
propose to the Lady Ethelinda Adele
St Claire, and l wish dinners had
never been invented" And the look
of supreme disgust that flashed from
her eyes showed that she meant it.
An intelligent farmer living in Dss
Moines county, says the Burlington
-Ha,okeye, has invented o henophone,
by which one old reliable hen, occu.
plying q central Office in the hennery,
sits on all the nests in the establish.
ment, leaving other fowls free to lay
eggs, scratch and cackle. As fast a. .
nest containa the full complement
Of eggs, it is conhected with the zen.
trail Office by . copper wire and the
business is settled. The only trouble
with the machine is that it sits so hard
that it matches out the porcelain nest
eggs along with the others, SO that one
chick in every nest is born with glass
eyes, and tho farmer has to buy and
train . dog to lead it around. This
makes it expensive.