The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1881-09-30
ILL SORTS, ]!

week.
The natural affections are as debased
by vice as they are ennobled and re-
fined by virtue.
A book was recently returned to the
Boston Public library which had been
missing for more than twenty years.
The best black ink, mixed with the
white of an egg, will give ladies' fine
shoes color and shine without rubbing
of.
A little Waterloo Sunday school miss
was asked by her teacher: What
must people do in order to go to heav-
emp 'tDie, suppose" replied the lit
tie one.
The amount of business done by
tourist agents in this country is enor-
nous. There are four firms on Broad
way, New York, that sell So, 100000
worth of tickets year.
In London there are 1902 public
houses, and 4, 425 beer houses. During
1880, 90. sos persons were apprehended
for drunkenness. OF these, Is, 99S
were males and IS, $40 were females
1t is probable that the southern part
of the Territory of Utah will supply
enough anthony for this country. The
ore mined about 140 miles from Salt
Lake City yields from go to Is per cent.
of anthony.
When you see fruit-peeling on the
sidewalk, push il off into the gutter; it
win not take long, and there is no tell
ing but that the first person to be dis
abled by it if it remains there may be
poor man who owes you money.
Dearest said sick wife fondly to
her husband, s'if L should die wonder
if you would marry againe" mo, in-
deed" was the prompt reply. 81 have
tried it once, and that's enough for
me-" She was so mad that she recov-
cred almost Immediately.
Professor Pictet, the discoveror of
the liquefaction of oxygen, has invent
ed an improved steam vessel with which
he expects to attain speed of thirty
five miles an hour. A model vessel is
being built and will shortly be tried on
the Lake of Geneva.
There are now in the United States
about fifty-six cotton-seed oil mills, of
which nine are in Mississippi, eight
each in Tennessee and Texas, nine in
Kentucky Gall in Louisville), four in
Arkansas, two each in Missouri and
Alabama, and one in Augusta, Ga.
II just went out to see friend for a
moment" remarked Jones to his wife
the other evening, as he returned to his
seat in the theatre. f'Indeed," replied
Mrs. j. with sarcastic surprise, 81 sup
posed, from the odor of your breath,
that you have been out to see your worst
enemy" Jones WINGED.
'tDan," said a four-year old, ''give
me five cents to buy monkey" ''We
have one monkey in the house now"
said the elder brother. ''Who is it,
DAMP" ''You," was the reply. Then
give me five cents to buy the monkey
some nuts" The brother could not
resist.
In Spain village priest preaching
on the miracle of the loaves and fishes
made a mistake, saying that FIVE thous-
and loaves and fishes sufficed for five
persons. land did they not suffer
from indigestionP' asked wag of the
priest after the sermon was over.
''No," replied the latter, not to be out
witted "therein consisted the mir
acle -
The marble quarries of Vermont
have become enormous excavations,
several being $50 feet deep, and the
openings are only slightly protected, if
at all, while rude stairways down Lhe
sides of the shafts afford the only
descent; yet there is hardly ever an ac-
cident, and it is several years since n
fatal fall has taken place.
Two Iishmen We're porting over the
news in one Of our city papers. and
coming to the heading --latest" and
Immediately following it Every Latest"
one said to the other. 'An' sure, Tim,
will We be afther explainin' what this
means?'' '-Arrah bedad," said Tim,
FAN its meself that can explain that to
ye. Sure the latest is what comes in
time to be printed, and the very
latest is what comes afther the paper is
out"
A colored preacher in Louisville,
XIV, has found in his church q daugh-
ter from whom he was separated at the
auction-block twenty-odd years ago.
He was much reJoiced, but was prey
to conflicting emotions when he learned
from her that her mother is still Iy-
ing, he having been legally married to
another woman after becoming q freed
man.
Hon. j. Milton Turner (colored),
late United States Minister to Liberia,
who has recently made tour through
the Southern States, says the future
prospects of the black race are very
hopeful. Many colored men have
farms of their own, and the chief need
declares emphatically that the South is
the place for the negro, for he can there
engage in agriculture and be encour-
aged in it by the people.
At a recent examination in q girls
school, the question was put to class
of little ones: ''Who makes the laws of
our Governments Congress" was
the ready reply. 'sHow is Congress di-
vided?" was the next question. A lit
tie girl in the class raised her hand.
SWELL" said the examiner, miss Sal
lie, what do you say the answer is?"
Instantly, with an air of confidence
as well as triumph, the answer came:
Civilized, half-civilized and savage"
In 1888 the French Government be-
gan the sinking of an artesian well at
portion of Paris. This well was not
completed until February &c, 1841,
when, at depth of 1892 feet the
auger, having penetrated ledge of
rock, suddenly sank in several yards of
water. When the drill was withdrawn,
the water of the well spurted liz feet
above its top, and continues yet to run
IN a constant stream. a "
The tallest private residence in New
York will be one now in process of
erection for William Pickhardt, at
SeVenty-fourth street and Fifth avenue.
1t will be six stories in height, with a
basement, a cellar and a sub-cellar.
making nine stories between the roof
and foundation. To balance the height
above the curb, 120 feet, there viii be
IL L 20 a n or@fh rs