The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1881-01-22
A REMARKABLE EXPERIENCE.

The recent remarkable experience Of
Prof. Van Schweinhund, Of the Milwau-
kee Polytechnic Institute, promised at
one time 10 be OF great interest to all
philosophers, and especially to electri-
clans. Although this promise was not
fulfilled, il is nevertheless true that the
experience in question was quite unpre-
cedcnted, and deserves the attention OF
all thinking men.
On the night Of the 2Ist Of December
Prof. Won Schweinhund was spending
the evening with number Of friends at
the residence Of - Smith, Esq, dis
cussing the philosophy Of the uncondi-
toned in connection with Milwaukee
beer. At about O'Clock A.. NJ. il oc-
CURED to him that Mrs. Won Schwein-
hund would be uneasy at his prolonged
absence from home, and would undoubt-
edly sit up for him and welcome him
with energetic hands in an exceedingly
warm manner. He therefore took
final glass of beer, put on his capacious
ulster, and babe the company farewell.
The night was exceedingly cold and
the pavement was unusually active in its
motions. This, together with a weak
ness in the Professors legs due to 4
severe cold in the head, led him to pause
by convenient lamp.post to collect his
thoughts. He rested for several minutes,
unbuitoned his ulster to look at his
watch, buttoned it up again, and sum-
moning his energies prepared to resume
L al - al ha
that he could not move from the spot.
An unseen and unknown force held him
tigh; TO the iron lamp. post, and his most
frantic efforts could not enable him to
release himself.
His first impression was that he had
been tied to the lamp-rost by thieves
while resting himself, but he could no,
discover the slightest trace of any rope,
and was thus compelled to abandon the
hypothesis. Soon he began to feel 4
strange sensation Of something very cold
in the region of his breast and abdomen.
1t was clear to him that a cold current
was running from his breast-bone down
ward, and ,heing profound philosopher,
he reasoned that, as he felt this current
in front, it must really he in active oper-
alton somewhere else, and was, undoubt-
edly, running down his spinal column.
After deep meditation, he suddenly re-
membered that he had heard that GER
tain streets in Milwaukee were soon to
be lighted by the electric light. He
looked upward ut the lamp above his
head, and saw that il was not only cx-
trcmely bright, but that it seemed to be
divided into three or four separate lamps.
He now comprehended the mystery Of
his imprisonment. The laYnp-post to
which he was fastened was evidently one
OF those to which the electric light had
been applied. The electric current
passing through the iron lamp-post had
been switched Off by the attraction of
his spinal column, and was flowing
through him, producing the sensation
OF extreme cold and fastening him with
force of several tons to the lamp-post.
The horror Of his situation now clear.
ly stared Pro. Won Schweinhund in the
face. He saw that not only would he
be held to the lamp-pos, until some one
off the electric current, but that in all
probability the electricity would gradu-
ally disin,egrate his spinal marrow, and
thus either kill him outright or reduce
him to miserable, spinclcss, gelatinous
wreck. Moreover, he feared that the
cold produced by the current would af-
feet his heart, and by disturbing his cir
culation bring about fatal result. In
these circumstances he lifted uphis voice
and howled for help, but the silence OF
the midnight streets remained unbroken
except by his agonized voice.
About 2 O'Clock two young men came
down the street, and, attracted by the
Professors cries, kindly stopped and
listened to his story. In the most un-
feeling manner they burst into laugh,
and refused togive him any help. They
even made rude remarks sconcerning beer,
and told him that the cool night air was
good for him. Prof. Won Schweinhund
los, his temper, and addressed to them
the strongest language contained in the
German dictionary; but they only
laughed the more, and went on their
wicked and hcartlcss way.
II was nearly morning when shapcly
policeman approached, and after listen
ing to the Professors pitiful story said
to him: "Sec here, old man, il you're
that drunk that you don't know you've
buttoned your ulster round that there
lamp-post guess l better take you in. "
Light dawned on the mind Of the phi.
losopher as he listened to the policeman
and glanced at himself in the glare oi
the bull's-eye lantern. There was q
basis Of truth in the policeman 'srcmarks.
Prof. Won Schweinhund had buttoned
his ulster round the lamp-post, and thu:
unwittingly made himself a prisoner.
The coat was promptly unbuttoned,
and the Professor resumed his home
ward walk. Now that he was free, he
rather regretted that his electrical hy
pothesis had proved to be false. Had il
been true he could have written pow
erful pamphlet on the subject, and would
have been spared the necessity Of explain
ing to Mrs. Won Schwcinhund that ow.
ing to a mistake in connection with hi:
ulster he had been kept away from home
until 800 A. NJ.
H6y-Thc first carriage said to be bull
in America was made in Dorchester,
Massachusetts,, by man named White,
for a private gentleman in Boston. II
was copied from an English chariot
though made much lighter, and wa.