The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1881-04-15
THE COLUMBIAN, VOT" XIV, NO. 4
COLUMBIA DEMOCRAT, VOL. XLV1, NO, 9

In ABOUT IOuf DUUOtNS, 1 toHtluucu III
soliloquy, that kind of extemporo speech
would enable your friends to follow you
70 the graveyard. They would do so
with serene sense OF relief; and
when casting about far successor, the
first question would be: "Do you write
your scrmons?' If he answered in the
negative, they would take him to
my resting place. point TO my tombstone
andrcmark; "Om experience with cStcm-
pore sermons has not been all that could
be desired. The effort TO preach with
out manuscript killed promisingyouug
man and came very near killingu us. This
church is not inclined TO encourage a
repetition of the experiment and you had
better go somewhere else to die Thus
consolinely did | commune with my
self. I had been told that cxteiupore
preachnn is rs stimulating as qymnas-
tic exercise; but found that il was
somewhat over-stimuating to n man of
my temperament and as an exc else !
discovered that it was rather violent
than healthful.
The worst criticism that was made on
NllOlJ tl,
[ think the old gentleman never
suffered so much in SO short time. At
the Sunday dinner il was his dclirht TO
discuss the morning sermon. and TO iudi
cate in very encouraging and 1attcrinr
way the portions of it which struck him
as peculiarly effective. On this particu-
lar Sunday not the most distant allusiou
was made to ANYTHING that hg |
occurred In the church. Indeed it was
evident that everybody was making the
greatest possible effort not to allude to
it. and at the same time was afraid that
something which was saidonano,bcr sub
iect might be construed as an allusiontoit.
Conversation under such embarrassing
limitations is not only diff icult but i'm
possible.
To talk while standing on the edge of
volcano, and with the consciousness
that some trivial expression may possibly
have. without your knowing it. a diaboi
ical double meaning, which may start
the volcano into vehement activity, is
not the most eniying task in the world.
was positively burning to talk the mat
ter over, in order to relieve llvself, and
everybody else was burninc 10 eyoress
for nv position a profound pity: but it
would never do. / was both overwhel-
minaly crushed and tremendously defiant;
but II nv father and mother took rather a
sad view of the matter, and would not
for worlds express their real opinions.
even if they had had sufficient com
mand of the English language to do it
Justice. which they evidently did not
have. So | slipped my SOUP aud spoke
of the anpalng condition of the heath
en- in Central Africa and then expressed
u very decided opinion that if the com
inc winter should rroye a very cold one
we should certainly have both snow and
ice. and continued by remarking that.
if we all lived till spring and SUMMER.
the temperature would probably rise and
the snow and Ice would DOS ,ibly melt: to
all of which propositions NV 'ovino par
ents gave their quick and cordial accent
| In his own original remarks nv fatbere eX.
pressed great sympathy for sick people
and, without seeing any parallelism said
that his heart always went out with pc
cular tendency toward family one oi
whose members had been suddenly strick
en- down with incurable insanity. The
dinner season.was on the far from
conyiyial, and the food eaten, if l ma,
Judge from the indigestion of the after
noon, was not especially nourishing.
When, at last, got in my study,
locked the door, and gave way to ming
led emotions, in which positive agonl
had its place. Such Sunday Afternoon
seldom falls to the lot of mortals.
prayed earnestly for the afflicted congre
cation that the cause Of religion nigh
not suffer on account of my peculiar pc,
formanco; and for myself, that my abey
ration, if it was that, might be merel,
temporary. looked over volume 0
sermons which were sal Ito beeXtemport
but did not find any that did in the rC
motest degree resemble the one ha
just delivered. | took wretched an
cynical satisfaction in the fac, that n
one would accuse me of cribbing tn;
: particular sermon from any celebrate
author, because such productions Al
never printed, took an equal satisfa,
ton in the fact that if my own sermo
: were to be published, there was no OF
9 in the wide world who would think
! worth while to steal it. 1t was too o
igina', too unique for that. 1t would Il
! ways stand alone, the only one of Il
/ kind ever preached,pcrhaps the only OF
/ of the kind that ever ought to be prca,he
, | turned over the leaves Of the dictio
5 airy and caught sight of several obiurg
tory adicctivcs which seemed to have
direct personal appilcatlon. laugh'
hystor;col Sort of U,, W. Wv onI nii""'lp'1 ""Ia5