The Dillon tribune., 1881-06-18
On CHE eide.

Jones says that the clouds Of his early
childhood were no bigger than a woman's
hand, but squall always followed them
Bostcn Transcript.
The champion hog raiser Of the West
Corn.-New York News. Mistake; boil.
ing water is the hog razor.-Spicer. Shave
Yourself eh:-Cambridgc Tribune.
An Irish laborer in a coal:vard struck
for higher wages, and was discharged.
WELL" said he, "I'vc learned something
from the boss, while worked for him, that
didn't know before; and that is that ton
Is 1900 pounds.
II suppose" said quack, while feeling a
PATIENTS pulse, "that you consider me a
'urnbug." allow odd it is" responded the
>;'ient, "that you can SO. accurately tell a
mans thoughts by feeling his pulse
Toronto Grip.
Girls are honest creatures. One ut the
South End, on being charged with the
reckless extravaganza Of having seventy.
five dresses and with having nine fellows
j., love with he, at once, was too honest to
deny it.-Boston Post.
How doth the busy little wife improve
springs shining hours, and chuck the car.
>vts out q doors as around the house she
scours. How skillfullv she SITS the tack
upon its head 80 neat, and wonders whcth.
er "hub" will run the darnel thing in his
f2ct.--St Louis Spirit.
George Wnshington'- false teeth were
cid in by spiral springs That firm ex.
which has been attributed to decision OF
character, was probably due ii, measure
t., his efforts to keep his teeth from jump
is,y out-Cincinnati Saturday Night.
II thought Of writing that III. but feared
i, would be Deutsch to the subject" Pro-
t >>or---Fcared it would be what: Pupil
pcutscl to the subject, sir. Professor
You mean German to the subject, don't
YOU: Pupil--Ycs, that's what meant, but
! thought you prefer the synonym.
Il cant think that all sinners will be
i-t," said Mrs. Nimbletuny. There's my
husband, now. He's Il bad man, very
had man. but | trust he will lc saved Il,
ia>t. believe he has suffered his due
share in this life" "Amen:" shouted
N'nh.ttuny from the hack seat Mrs. n.
gave him SNtl Il look, but she said moth
~. ....-.
"Ilow is it that you have 80 much time
t, roar>elf:" asked Pingrcy. why, old
Percentu,n has given me an interest i'll the
;u~inc>s." NO. is that SO: congratulate
,Mu." ooh, yes; he told me that Ire coule
-. along without my services in the future
end I'm interested to know how he's going
g 80 it.''-Boston Transcript
Domestic: She WIS a Young lady fresh
TOM boarding. school. and she went init
:',c laundry to learn now to iron shirts
She did not succ ed very we'll. ana she
said: ooh. Katy, shall never he able Il
get amy polish on this ts,son,." Sure
is" was the answer, .vou want to put ;
::lc elbow gre:se on It," "PleaSe &c
s..'n. for me right away, Katy" Was the in
,ocent response.
\ Young hotel clerk narrowly escaped ;
vrible death a few days ago. lie had jus
purchased new diamond pin to wear ut
Long Branch hotel next season, and whil'
the gem was flashing on his shirt front h
FL out oil an elevator In the fourth story
lis legs slipped through the hatrhway, bu
Us diamond, being larger than the opening
caught ON the edge and held him suspend
I'd over the ah>ss until hell came Ill
values that diamond ut more than 81,
NV.
Names and occupations reported tn Lon
don census cn,,nerators: "Wiliiam Wack
Wrinkle, age. 49, cobhl.r,' wax merchant; :
"Simon Slitwizcn, bug-dcsirover and l'orl
sau>agr-naker;" William Barlow, hoof
'dd,r, Hertz with, under the head O
.',llictions, ''tnot and mouth disease, viz
ot',ing to cat and Jolly tad boots" SOM
Idly inscribed themselves taiger an
i"sSar and "r,;,:,s,nan,' the last. ncntione
,r,l,v putin. himself down as "out q
*" instead OF out of work. And vet on
;,.mv, more inpudcnt than all the rest, Sc
i ;;n>el' down ,hicf-'J"c aged Il
t,ri. plenty oi work, Portland"
The other night policeman observed
an hanging around the entrance to
.,iichigan-av. nue. hall in Il queer sort oi
>,v. and nc asked ii he belonged to thu
Order then in session up stairs. TN
van replied tl.., lc did, aud the officer III
CURED. "Thcn why don't you go up:
well. | wits thinkin: oi it," "llavcn'
,s.n expelled. have vou:" "Oh. no.
Aren't afraid Of anvlxn,y:" NO. "An'
,ou haven't lost your INTEREST,"" II NIGH
:> we'll tell yo'," said the man. after beat
J.. around u while longer. Il went dow
I, Toledo IL few days ago, and scnlrl",
t.c story came back here that | wa
drowned. My lodge ,hrrcul'on passed res
CAUTIONS to the effect that | WAS honest, NJ
,,ht and liberal, and a shining orna,ncn
nd that VIII; t VAS its loss was nv gain.
.>,>n't drowned, as YOU >ec. but | kind I
,.r to walk in on 'cm and bust those re-
-. 4 = sl,c.,. tinnS AND