The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1881-12-09
JOHNS LITTLE JOKE.

Phil Wheeler, in his characteristic way.
finishing the speech with a prolonged
whistle.
What's the matter, Uncle Phil ?"
"Hey?"
"What's the matter?'
"Why, your Aunt Susan just bought
another bureau r
The speakers were Mr.. Philip Wheel
or, commonly called Uncle Phil, and his
handsome, devil-may-care nephew, John
Langdon. Uncle Phil was standing un-
der the big brown horse-chestnut tree,
whiting new handle for his hammer,
when hay-wagon, containing bureau,
stopped before the gate.
"Whose bureaus that ?" demanded
Uncle Phil.
cts for Miss Wheeler" was the an
yer. "She bought it down at Squire
4homas's auction"
swell, / snum!' p
John Langdon, just coming from the
wood-house, armed cap-a-pie, with rod
and lines, heard the exclamation and in
qu1red the cause.
$50 Aunt Susan has bought another
bureau, has she ?" he remarked, after a
moments scrutiny of that awful piece
Of household furniture. 81 say,
Uncle Phil, where is she going to put
it?"
"Hey?" calculated Uncle Phil, star.
ing hard at his nephew over his silver
bowed specs.
"Where is she going to put it %
Uncle Phil shook his head and ra.
newed his whiting.
I'm blamed if I know" he said al
last. " reckon twill have to set atop
of sumthing, for don't believe there's
floor room for it in the house,
tive got three in my room now, anG
Ishall protest against a fourth, laughed
John. "Aunt Susan" addressing that
lady, who appeared on the piazza tc
superintend the removal Of her newly-ac.
CURED treasure from the cart to the
house, "where are you going to put
chat thing?"
"Well, John, if you want it, why o.
course you can have it; but did think
I'd put it in the buttery, it would be SO
handy"
BY all means,' interrupted John !;
:" the buttery is just the place for it !;
three are as many as I can occupy, in.
asmuch as l only brought handbag
along on my little visit. If you were to
give me fourth, should be reduced
to the necessity of remaining in bed in
order to use it."
Oh, go away, you rogue" cried his
aunt, looking lovingly at him ''and
stop laughing at your old auntie. Here
you, in alarm to the driver. "Take
care, there, you'll have that leg off !
Hold on to the glass My my How
careless you be p
After much anxiety on Aunt Susan's
part, hair breadth escapes on the bu.
reau's and a good deal of harmless
swearing, such as 81 snum p "by gol-
ly!" etc., on Uncle Pills, the old bu.
reau was at last deposited in the buttery.
where 1t took up just three inches more
room than it could with any degree OF
propriety be accommodated with. Con
sequently, being of firm and unyield-
ing nature, sharp and uncompromisine
corner was thrust obtrusively and Of
tend1ngly out, against which unwary
toes and unfortunate shins would in ali
probability be frequently punished.
But Aunt Susan was not the woman
to go forth to meet trouble, and no
shadow rested upon her placid brow,
nor misgivings annoyed or made afraid.
The bureau was bargain, aud that
sublime fact shed such halo of glory
over its. somewhat battered surface as to
completely put to rout the inconvenience
of its position.
Next morning Aunt Susan rose be-
times, sent for the woman who lived on
the back road, and enjoyed O day OF
quitting to rights Those days, in
which she caused to be brought forth
from garnet, cellar and hidden store
rooms treasures collected from auctions
innumerable, were dear to her heart,
though denominations in the eyes of I'm
Gle Phil, who wandered around amid
the household gods in bitterness of
spirit.
John watched the "cleaning" opera
ton with an amused smile curling the
corners of his handsome mouth, till at
length bright idea struck him.
"By Jove," he muttered, ct believe
we might do it p
Five minutes later he might have been
seen in earnest confab with Uncle Phil,
who grinned and nodded his head inevi-
dent satisfaction and full approval of the
plan, whatever it was.
The day ended with great success in
the cleaning line. Before shutdown an
array of spotless mahogany, brass, Chi
ma, britannia, etc., etc., might have been
seen ornamenting Uncle Pills front
yard articles which the waning rays OF
the sun touched and caused to reflect
Ike polished mirrors. Soon everything
was replaced, the old woman departed,
and quiet brooded over the old farm
house once more.
Next day John was to return home to
c., and Aunt Susan was to accom-
pany him, for the double purpose OF
paying her sister-John's mother-a
visit, and witnessing the ceremony which
should give to John wife.
This wedding was very near to hei
heart; first, because she loved John very
dearly, and second, because he had
bought a lovely little nest of home
close by her house and was, after o reas.
enable trip, to bring his young wife
here, under Aunt Susan's motherly
wing, while he began his career as
lawyer in the brisk little village near by.
Nothing short of the immense import.
ance of this event could have induced
the good woman to commit the daring
act of risking her neck upon railroad
for the twenty-mie journey was as for.
midable to her, with her old time no
tons, as would visit to India be to
town-bred man.
The morning arrived, and Aunt Su.
san, with many injunctions and cautions.
at last took her place in the wagon which
was to convey her to the depot.
John delayed few moments to take
special parting with Unele Phil. What
was said no one heard save the parties
interested but Johns low words called
forth a series of energetic words from
his uncle, and dry, hard chuckle. be-
traying an unusual amount of interest
The journey ended safely, and Aunt
Susan was beginning to feel at home on
springs, and to sleep in spite of the noise
on the street, when a letter from home
completely upset the good woman. and |