davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1881-06-10
L" Bless Me, Smith,"

When they picked him out of the
snow AMI stood hin on his feet he
looked around III n uazco way unu nus'
tered:
"Bless me Il haint zrankw
When they got him to the station and
asked his name he answered.
"Bless me-bl ss me-bless me q
know. Put 'er down-bless me-put 'er
down Smith"
So they put him down as Bless Me
Smith. When he walked out in the
morning he louked carefully around
him aud then exclaimed:
BLESS me il I hain't iuggedr
You were drunk"
"Guess I was. Bless me il I hahn I
went and made fool Of myself!'
Where do you live %
"Live? Bless your dear soul, but
I'm farmer"
"Eyer here before p
"Never. Land O. love and bless my
souli but I'm as surprised as hen or
hot stovew
"Did you mean to get drunk"
Mean to! Why, didn't take only
half a glass of beer"
swell, what shall we do about it q
Don't ask me. Bless you. sir. but
I never hal lawsuit in my life. ]
don't know who is plaintiff or defendant
or who takes the witness stand next"
"I guess you'd better 60 home"
Bless you!"
"And you'd better let beer alone
after this"
81 will. I hadn't taken over two
swallows before saw double, and the
half-glass took me off my feet in NJ
time. Bless you, sir. but I've had {
narrow escape and won't let it happer
again"
" Well, You can CO."
Bless you"
Good.bye."
"Good-bye. sir. Bless you-blesl
you-bless goodbye, sir!'-I Detroi
Press.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1881-06-10
Treat Fowls Gently.

The keeping and caring for live stock,
including poultry, adds greatly to the
pleasures of quiet farm life, but this
fpleasure may be greatly enhanced by
making it q rule to treat them with
care and gentleness.
Many farmers keeping large mum.
ber of COWS which must be driven to
water or pasture daily, keep a dog to
do the work, instead of boy, thinking
thus to effect saving, but we think
they make mistake. The extra guam
tity of milk given by herd of thirty
COWS driven by gentle boy, will more
than pay the boys board, to say moth
ing of gain in flesh and contentment to
the animal, leaving out the dog factor.
The drsyman who owns a fine. able
horse, will not. if he is wise. load him
too heavily or fog him often. The same
rule applies in as full force to the poul-
try breeder. Fowls recognise gentle
ness, and reward it also in great many
ways.
1t makes very great difference
whether fowls take wing, and cackle
and hutter on the approach of their
keeper, or. on the contrary, gather
about him, expecting some new favor
at his hand, in which they are rarely
disappointed. 1t is best in the arrange
of your buildings, to have this idea of
quiet prominent. By beginning Alright
with the chicks, you will soon have this
contented, happy family about you
The pecuniary advantage to be gained
by this method is no small item. 1t
will take less feed to put and keep them
in condition than when the opposite
method is pursued.
While we do not believe that fowls or
brutes have sympathy, they have some
thing which very soon recognizes Q gen.
tie voice or hand. We say, then, that
fowls treated with gentleness keep in
better condition on less feed. They
will lay better, and learn fewer mis-
chievous tricks. The mother-hen will
rear larger percentage of chicks, and
the chicks will grow faster and attain
larger size Il Poultry World.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1881-06-10
Making and Baking Bread.

| Almost every woman, when she first
contemplates "going to housekeeping, "
has the conviction that she will be
obliged to bury or throw away the first
barrel of -four which her husband will
buy and which she will make up into
uneatable bread. She knows so we'll
the importance of having good bread,
and the mysterious difficulties in the
way of making it, that she fears it is
something beyond her, and exp It's to
succeed only after repeated faiiures.
Now this is all wrong; it is not difficult
to make good bread; and there is no
reason why the first loaf she makes
shcnld not be creditable if she takes
the precautions to use good -four and
good yeast. She Can ascertain what
Hour is used by some good cook of her
acquaintance. and the yeast she can
make herself. IT she is wholly inexpe-
rieucel she will have to use great deal
OF care in making and baking the bread; ;
she will have to watch the oven closely
and learn to keep steady fire. Bread
will not bake itself. as she may be in
clined to think from having noticed the
ease with which older cooks manage
the baking: for time she will be
obliged to give individual attention to
every little detail. Start the bread the
night before it is to be baked; take
six-quart pan, little more than half
full of -four, make little hollow in the
center, take (for three loaves or for two
loaves and one tia OF biscuiD small
cupful of yeast-if the yeast is fresh
less will do-and pint of lukewarm
water; stir in and make sponge in the
hollow in the -four; cover the pan with
clean paper and cloth over that; in
winter set 1t in warm room, in sum-
mer In q cool one; in the morning early
mix the whole of the flour with the
sponge, adding enough lnkewarm wa
ter to make the dough the proper con-
sistency; knead it thoroughly with
your knuckles, not with the ends of
your fingers; let it rise, and when light
knead it quickly and with light touches
into loaves and put into pans which are
warm and buttered. An ordinary sized
loaf needs baking about forty-five min
utes; the last five minutes the
oven door may be left open if
there is the least danger of the bread
being Drowned too much. When you
take it ont of the oven turn the losves
top sides down in the hot tins and allow
them to stand a few minutes, aud you
will find that the crust is tender and
cuts easily. If you like potatoes in the
bread mash about two for the quantity
of bread spoken OF here, and put in
when you start the sponge. Biscuit
need baking about twenty minutes;
add little lump of butter to the bread
dough and knead longer. They may
be turned in the hot tins, or be rubbed
over the top with butter.-lE. W. B..
in New York Post.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1881-06-10
The Fame of the City.

A great rich city of power ana pride,
With streets full of traders, and ships on the
tide;
With rich men and workmen, and judges and
preachers.
The shops full of skill, and the schools full OF
teachers.
The people were proud OF their opulent
town;
The rich men spent millions to bring it re.
nown;
The strong men built and the tradesmen
planned,
The shipmen sailed to every land;
The lawyers argued, the teachers taught,
And Q poor shy poet his verses brought,
And cast them into the splendid store.
The tradesmen stared at his uselcss craft,
The rich men sneered, and the strong men
laughed;
The preachers said 1t was worthless quite,
The schoolmen claimed 1t was tn irs to
write.
But the songs were spared, though they add.
ed naught
Tothe profit and praise tho people sought.
That WAS waited at last from distant climes
And the townsmen said, 80 To remOtest times
We shall send our name and our greatness
down."
The boast came true; but the famous town
Had lesson to learn when all was told.
The nations that honored cared naught for
Its gold,
Its skiu they exceeded hundredfold;
1t had only been one of thousand m re
Had the songs Of the poet been lost to its
store,
Then the rich men and tradesmen and school.
men said
They had never derided, but praised instead !;
And they boast of the poet their town has
bred.
John Boyle O'Reilly, In Harper's Maya
zine.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1881-06-10
Keep Your Best Breeders.

On no consideration should the fan
cier dispose of his best breeding stock,
unless he desires fresh blood to keep
up the stamina and constitutional vigor
of his fowls by procuring the same
kind OF first class stock, but not related,
to take the place of those he has been
breeding from. At this season, in
the spring-time. there is brisk demand
or good breeding stock, and those who
need such and know their real value
are willing to pay good price for
them. Breeders who are fortunate to
have raised good share of early hacthed
birds can now supply their customers
with prime young stock without lessen
ing their breeding pens. But some
times there is big price offered for
some of those retained as breeders that
looking 80 tempting that the owner
parts with them, thinking that some Of
the young, gs,sE stock a,,d Tnnld in no way be in;
of the best possible breeding stock is
matter of consideration and of para
mount importance to every breeder of
thoroughbred poultry. The best il not
too good; but when one becomes the
possessor of extra stock getters, relis-
Bile in the uniform products that come
from them, it would be poor policy to
sell them, although offered big price.
If the would-be purchaser considers
such fowls equivalent in value to what
he offers in cash for his special use as
breeders, why would not the same fowls
in the hands of their owners be as val.
liable for the same purposeP
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1881-06-10

MAKING Born ENDS MEET.-Old
Uncle Moses salary for driving a drsy
is rather limited, while his expenses
are rather heavy. He wanted to ask fol
more wages, but didn't know how to
get at it. Finally, he edged into the
office of his employer, on Galveston
avenue, and said:
Boss, can't you use your influence
wild de Cotton Exchange to hab de
numf ont down to twenty days?"
"Maybe it could, il it tried"
"Ef de Cotton Exchange don't whack
de eend offen' de mumf, you have to
pile on more celery. De spproprisshun
IL allus zAusted before de eend OBJ de
mumf."
The merchant said he would call q
special meeting of the Cotton Exchange
to consider the matter. and old Nose is
hopeful.-lGslveston News.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1881-06-10

DouaHNUTs WITHOUT Coos Two
quarts of -four, one pint of milk. one
heaping cup of sugar and a piece of
butter the sizs Of an egg. Scald the
milk, and when tepid add the sugar.
the butter, half cup Of yeast and q
half teaspoonful of soda. Pour this all
into the center of the Aour, using
enough of -four to make sponge. Let
it rise all night in a warm place. In
the morning sprinkle in whatever spice
you want; then knead in the rest of the
flour. Let it rise again until light;
knead again, roll them. After they are
cut out let them stand Ave minutes.
Fry in boiling lard.
BREAD CAKEs.-Take one quart OF
milk. stir iu enough bread crumbs to
make q thin batter. Beat three eggs
we'll and put them in. adding little
salt; add two tablespoonfuls OF hour.
Bake on the griddls and serve hot.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1881-06-10
Bob Ingersol on Stingy Men

l despise q stingy man. do not see
how it is possible for a man to die worth
IS 600 600 or $40 900 900 in city full
uf want. when he meets almost every
day the withered hand of beggary and
ths white lips of famine. How a man
can Withstand all that and hold in the
clutch of his hand $40 900 900 or $50 :
QUO 600, is past my comprehension. |
do not see how he can do it, I should
not think he could do it any more than
he could keep pile of lumber when
hundreds of thousands were drowning
in the sea. Do you know / have known
men who would trust their wives with
their hearts and their homes, but not
with their pockethooks-not with q
dollar. When see man of that kind
l always think he knowa which is the
most valuable. Think of making your
wife beggar! Thiuk Of her asking you
every day for dollar or two dollars,
or to humbly beg for fifty cents
"What did You do with that dollar
gave you ?" Think of having wife
that is afraid of you. What kind of
children do you expect to have with a
beggar and . coward for a mother -?
Oh. tell you. if you have bu. dollar
IN the world. and you have got TO spend
it. spend it like king; spend At ss
though it were u dry leaf. ami you the
owner of an unbounded forest. That Is
the way to spend it. had rather be n
beggar and spend my last dollar like a
king. than be king and spend my
money like a beggar. If it's got to go,
let it go. Get the best you can for
your family. and look rs we'll as you can
yourself. When you used to go court
ing how nice you looked. All. your
eye was bright. your step was light.
aud you just put ON the very best YOU
could. Do you know that it is insuffsr
able egotism in yeu to suppose that II
woman is going to love you always,
locking as bad as you can2 Think of
it! Any woman on earth will be true to
you forever whom you do your level
best,
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1881-06-10

IT Was BITTEN OFF The anecdote
of the iDquisitive man, who asked an
other how he lost his leg. and, after
having promised to ask no further ques
tions, was told that it was " bit off,"
has been vsriously told, and often
wrongly attributed. The incident il
properly told in Scrab"er in paper on
Copley, the American artist Of the last
century. The incident occurred be-
tween Brook Watson, afterward lord
mayor of London, and his servant, who,
in pulling off his boot. was warned in
vain that if he was not careful he would
bring the leg eff too-which, mnch to
hia astonishment, he did. As matter
OF fact, Watson's leg had been bitten
of by shark in the harbor of Havana /;
an event commemOrated in q famous
picture by Comley. which is engraved
with the aforementioned paper.
FROZEN IN HIS TRACKs.-This story
comes from Litchfield, Conn: "A man
by the name of Bright went out in the
morning to pump water for his stock.
AZ he had not returned at noon, his
wife started out to seek him. There he
stood at the we'll pumping, literally.
for his life; for through a hole in the
trough the water had flowed around his
boots. and. freezing solid, fastened him
securely in bis tracks. Ts keep from
freezing to death the farmer haG con-
tinuea to pump violently all the morn
ing. slthough the we'll was soon ex-
hsusted. His wife set him free by heap
ing salt around his boots"
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1881-06-10
How TO SAVE Coal IN OPEN Graf

How TO SAVE Coal IN OPEN CRATES.
The most practical suggestion yet
made toward economizing the use of
Goals, seems to bs in the use of solid
bottoms in ordinary fre-grates. 1t has
been asserted, and indeed proved, that in
any fire.grate, not exceedingly small, a
plate Of iron placed upon the bars will
save nearly half the consumption Of coal.
and reduce the smoke and keep up a
cheerful. free-burning fire. Qaite
sufficient air will enter through the
front bars, and all poking should be
avoided, and the fire will continue un-
til all the coal is consumed, which will
be done without leaving much ash OF
dust. Any housekeeper can try the
experiment. A sheet OF iron to III
easily into the CRATE will cost but
quarter Of dollar.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1881-06-10
The Seeds of Disease.

Most people think bad smells prolific
OF infection, and carrion and decaying
matter generally TO be breeders Of dis
ease. Some sre quite satisfied whom the
foul air is deodOrized, quite uDaware
that the infsctive particles may remain
the same.
But We must not mistake here. Our
success in battling with epidemics will
depend on our getting ct the exact truth
in the case.
Liberia soon becomes the grave Of
every white man that goes there to stay !;
but the keenest scent detects nothing
Of the malaria in the atmosphere.
All may be fragrance and beauty
where yellow fever is dec:mating the
population. It was the finest parts OF
Chicago that were ravaged BY scarlet
fever, while the other parts were almest
exempt. Diphtheris has Of late years
had prsportionslly more victims in the
mountainous regions OF Massachusetts,
than in Boston and our larger cities.
The fact is, infectious diseases come
of germs Just rs truly a. the products
These germs are almost infinitely small,
but their mature plants-they ere
strictly vegetable-hsve the power TO
multiply at an almost infinite rate.
Each disease has it's own germ. Small.
pox cannot come from typhoid germs;
nor measles from scarlatina; nor yellow
fever from cholers-and 20 universally.
They must come each from it, own seed,
as much so as wheat, corn, the apple,
elm. oak. They cannot come without
seed, for science knows OF no sponta.
neous generation.
Bot the seeds OF higher order re-
quire good soil and other fsvoring con.
ditions. 1t il equally 90 with the soeds
Of disease. Their choicest soil 10 flth,
and there Is no other favoring condition
equal to q depressed state OF ones ply
sical system-whether depressed BY bad
food, impure air, sensusl indulgence,
long-continued anxiety, fear, Watching
or undue fasting.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1881-06-10

1t has leaked out that the real
reason why the widow Of Ole Bull =
fused to marry Bjornstsrne Biornsonis
that she broke three Of her teeth trying
to pronounce his name.-fPuek.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1881-06-10

It is advertised that young Italian
lord Of noble birth, but slim means, 10
q waiter at one OF the hotels. II he
waits at oil he's probably waiting 10
give some American heiress his title in
exchange for her hand and cash.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1881-06-10

GoosEBERRY JELLY.-Boil six pounds
OF green unripe gooseberries in six
pints OF water (they must be we'll boiled,
but not burst too mucb] pour them into
basin and let them stand covered With
u cloth twenty four hours, then strain
through jelly bag and to every pint
of juice add one pound of sugar; boil
for an hour, then skim it and boil for
one half hour longer.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1881-06-10

"Cigar is new shade Of brown.
We suppose it will be worn principally
in ladies' ashes.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1881-06-10

To REMOVE FRRcKLEs.-Powder
nitre. noistened with water and ap-
piled to the face will soon remove
frcckles without mi to the skin.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1881-06-10

Good MIR. Bsllamy sat at his window
Sunday afternoon, watching the boys
playing a premature game of base. ball.
The wicked Sabbath breaking little
wretches." he said to his wife, "they
ought to be arrested and looked up.
every one OF them. It's shameful. such
q PROCLAMATION of the Lords day. There
shoaid be An ordinance keeping the
little heather at home on the Sabbath. 4"
ihen alter pause, l wish you'd go
down etairs and tell George to bring
around the carriage and we'll take q
little drive. It's pleasant day and I'm
tired OF staying in the house."
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1881-06-10
Brought Him i'll Alive.

A defeated man Is fortunate If h(
happens to be witty Que too. He Cal
save his credit by his explanation. Al
exchange tells US how lucky phrase
of army language brou sht certain
hero" out of douctful hunting ex'
perlence with success:
A party Of soldiers "out West" moi
having much to do, resolved to go bear
hunting. they had been out about SIX
teen hours and had nc: seen bear, and
being tired and hungry, returned to
camp. Ga their arrival at headquar-
ters they missed one OF their compan-
IONS, but thought nothing OF it, one of
them remarking,-
He will return all right"
They made their camp tire, and com
menced preparing for supper. They
had the CO Gee over the fire: one OF them
was sliciog some potatoes, another was
stewIng some meat, and the remainder
sat around the fire waiting, when they
were all startled by terrible noise thai
seemed TO come nearer to camp. Sud
denly the thiekets parted, and III rusha,i
the missing man. his bair standing on
end, his face deadly white, his gun
gone, and his arms flying in the sir, ut
If grasping for imaginary objects. ana
about two feet behind him came a great
black bear. The pursued soldier turne d
when he saw the bear drop, and, look.
log at one Of them, said, breathlessly,- -
Is he dead ?"
One of the men asked
"Why didn't you shoot him, instead
OF running?'
What do you take me for ?" replied
the missing one. Day you think was
such fool as to shoot him, when
could bring him in aiive?'
Meditation and Labor.
Meditation and toIl-medHatiO et labor
ARE, according to Tacitus, the only
passports TO literary Immortality, and,
with some few exceptions, the dogma oil
the great historian will be found to
hold good. Nothing great and dura.
BILE" says Tom Moore, has ever been
produced with ease. L.bor is the
parent of the lasting monuments of the
orld, whether in verse or in stone, in
poetry or in pyramids" aud first among
the sons of toll stpnds Virgil. 1t was
his custom, Donatus tells us, TO throw
fl II number of verses in the morning
aud to employ the rest o! the day in
polishing aud pruning them down. 1t
took MIN upward Of three years to COM
pose his ten short "Eclogues, seven
years to write his sc Gsorgics." which
comprises little more than 2 600 lines
and upward of twelve years to elaborate
the " kn, i'll" which he wa>jso far from
regarding ns complete that he attempted
to rise from his death-bed to commit il
to the flames. Every line of " Horace
bears testimony to the fsstidious labor
of its author. There are, says Lord
Lytton, single odes which must have
cost the poet six weeks seclusiOn from
the dissipation of Rome. L1oretius
one poem represents the work of q
whole life. and he has himself told III
hos completely ne was absorbed in it
how it file d his working hours, how il
haunted Linn in his dreams.- Temple
Bar
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1881-06-10

A Scotch company has bought 1885,
600 acres OF land in Missouri, AMI will
establish Scotch colony there.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1881-06-10
English Ignorance Of America,

One st,lkug trait Of British Philis-
tinism Is ignorance OF other coaotrirs,
and chic Ag ign0rance Of america. To
the PAiilstina this ignorance is his most
cherished intellectual treasure. He
guards 1t carefully, and plumes him
self rpon-it. To enlarge and confirm
1t, lie reads the travels oi older Phills
tines IN America, and in some cases
islts the States himseif. to return with
Confusion of mini and pergersion of
fact upon the subject which is the occa-
sion of profoundest sef-congratnlation
and which makes him for the remainder
of his life an oracle upon American
affairs among his rutraveleJ friends
and neighbcrs. Let me frankly con-
fess, however, that like ignorance
and confnsior in regard to England
among natives of other countries is
sometimes coarteouely assumed by the
Philistin" Some --r--e before nv visit
to England pretty and sweet man
nered. although not very high class,
Eng 6lishwomau was telling me, with the
eyes and the voice of dove, of some.
thing that had happened in II Anchester;
and then with gentle coudescension she
added ipqniringly: You've card of
Manchester [ said that had, and
she was satisfied. There are little
courts and alleys in London which are
calle news; and was kindly informed
by one or two friends, as we passed
some of them, that news were places
for the keeping of hawks in olden times.
1t Was Impossible even to laugh at in
struc'ion so kindly given; nor did 1 tell
my good teachers that any school boy
twelve years old ir America knew that
as we'll ~ they did. The elegant and
very clever woman who recommended
me to r sd Kenilworth before going to
see IT,. :astle displayed this same sort
of PA istinism. What need of telling
her, ether. that school boys ia Amer
ica read kenilworth!-[R Richard Grant
White, in Atlantic.