Public ledger. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1865-1893, 1881-10-20
eIT's GIRL"
An Accession 10 the SpOOpendyke
Family Causes COmmotiOn In
the Household.

inc
Brooklyn Eagle.l
"Well, we'll, we'll, said Mr.. Spoop-
endyke, with a grin that involved his
whole head, aud an effort at a tiptoe
tread that shook tho whole house.
md SO it's a girl, my dear"
rs. SpOopendyke smiled family,
aud Mr.. SpOOpendyke picked up his
heiress.
Its the image Of YOU she said,
regarding with some t~repidation Mr..
Spoopendyke's method of handling
the infant.
81 don't see how you make that
out" said Mr.. Spoopendyke grayely:
Il don't know when my most looked
like the thumb part Of boiled lobster
claw. Do l understand you that my
eyes bear any resemblance to the head
Of q screw"
II mean the general features" MUIR
INJURED Mrs. Spoopendyke. :.
1.-The general features seem to be all
mouth" retorted Mr.. ~Spoopendyke,
examining his acquisition. IF our
general features are at all alike, my
visage must remind you of an earth
quake. Hill kitcheel kitcheel What
makes her fold up her legs like that2'
"She can't help it." reasoned Mrs.
Spoopendyke. They'll st~raighten
out in time"
mo time like the present" quoted
Mr.. ~Spoopendyke, and he took his
daughters feet and commenced pull
ing her limbs, Il don't want any
bandy-legged feet in this family while
I'm at the head Of it"
Naturally the baby began to cry and
MIR. S~peopendyke essayed to soothe it.
"Hil kitcheel kitcheel kitch-ee-eel"
he chirruped. "Great scot, what q
cayernl Hi kitcheel kitch eel
You'll have to get that mouth rooted
in before cold weather. What's the
matter with her anyway"
Perhaps you hurt her. Let me
take her, please" pleaded helpless
Mrs. Spoopendyke.
"She's doing we'll enough. Hi you'll
Hold upl Haven't you anything to
catch this mouth in? It's spilling all
over the neighborhood. Hill TOpsy,
Genevieve, Cleopatra, dry upl I'm
going to have trouble breaking this
young ones temper, l a see that.
Herel bend the other way onel" and
Mr.. Spoopendyke tried to straighten
his offspring without avail.
"Le1 her come to me, do, please
moaned Mrs. Spoopendyke, and Mr.,
Sroopendyke was forced to hand her
over.
well, that's quite a baby" said he,
nursing his knee and cycling the infant.
what are those bumps over its eyes
for? What preponderance of intelli-
gcnce do they represent"
you mustn't talk so" demonstrated
Mrs. Spoopsndyke. "She's the hand
soonest child you ever saw"
well, she's got to stop biting her
nails before she goes any further with
the procession, Here, take your hand
out Of your mouth, can't you? Why
don't you put your hands down."
why, all babies do that" exclaim-
ed Mrs. Spoopendyke. you can't
stop that"
I'm going to try" said Mr..
Sppoopendyke, "and [ don't want to
be interfered with in bringing this
child up. Here, you, Maud s. Bone
setter, put your hands in your pockets.
Don't let me see any more nail chew
ing, or you and III get mixed up in
an argument. She gets that from
your family, Mrs. Spoopendyke."
Say, dear, don't you want to go
and order some things2" asked Mrs.
Spoopendyke.
NO." rojoined her husband, 81
want to see this youngster. Where's
her chin? Do babies always have their
upper jaw set right on their shouldersi
Kitcheel kitcheel Her scalp comes
clear to the bridge of her nose.
don't believe she's quite right
Where's her iorehead2 Great Moses.
Her head is all on the back partl Say,
that baby,s got to be pressed. That
no shape"
Get away" exclaimed Mrs. Spoop.
endyke Indignantly. She's a perfect
angel. There's nothing in the world
the matter with her"
"Of course you know" growled Mr..
Spoopendyke. you don't want any
thing more than a fog-horn and a
m%isspent appropriation to be an or.
phan asylum. If 1 had your faith and
the collie I'd make a living as a found.
ling's hOmel She'll be old enough tC
spank in a week, won't she?"
mo, she WON'T" said Mrs. Spoopen.
dyke. Shell never be old enough
for that"
"Tll bet she WILL" grunted Nj
Spoopendyke. IF she isn't, she'll gel
itbefore she natures up to that period
That's ALL. Let me take her. Here
let's have her"
But Mrs. Spoopondyke fatty re.
fused.
Keep your dod gasted baby, them
roared Mr.. Spoopendyke. "If you
know more about babies than | do
then keep her. The way you coddlt
her one would think she was a new
paste for the complexion. Ifyou haC
one more brain and q handle, you'd
make a fair rattleboxl Fit you W
with a broken sofa and a grease 500
and you'd do for a second hand nur
sery."
And Mr.. Spoopendyke started off to
find bis friend Specklewottle, who
congratulated him, and started of
with him to assist in the selection O
an overcoat and a pair of ear-mufFs as
precautionary against the approaching
winter.
American Horses in England,
| nLl..-. nit