The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1881-02-26
MISCELLANEOUS.

Only one plumber failed in New York last year,
and, strangely enough, it was caused bv laying
his pipes right at first
The call Of religion is not a call to make you
better than your fellows, But better than your
self-H. w. Beecher.
newspaper gushing a recent painting
saws - In front stands a rustic maiden wrapped
in her own thoughts" The scene is laid in lati-
tude deg. south.-YaLe NeIcs-
An exchange says it's very bad thing to get
rich too rapidly. We never thought Of that
before Now here's another danger for to
worry about and strive 10 guard against.
Galveston man who has mule for sale,
hearing that n friend in Houston wanted TO buy
n mule teIegurphed him: - Dear friend III ou
are boxing for No. mule don't forget me-
IL was at n Galveston hotel table that a child
attracted considerable attention oy saying re-
peatedly - want a cake - 90 You've had i've
or SIX already" replied the mother. " Them's
not the ones want. l want a fresh one"
Colonel Forney tells wicked story about
man who, while coming out OF q Boston theater,
encountered lady whose husband had died two
days before. and who tearfully said through the
folds of her handkerchief. Z" | suppose you have
heard Of my loss
Extract from a letter from Angelina Dear
Henry YOU ask if | return your love. Yes,
Henry, I have no use for it, and return it with
many thanks By-by, Henry"
..weu. miss. said knight of the birch rod,
scan you decline a kiss p 80 Yes, sir, > said
the girl, dropping perplexed courtesy, can,
but hate to most plaguIly
- Where are YOU going so fast Mr. Johnson?''
Home, sir home don't detain me. L have
lust got q new bonnet for my wife, and must
deliver il before the fashion changes"
william" observes Milwaukee woman to
her husband, - Mrs. Holcomb feels pretty badly
now. since the Ioss of her child, and wish you
I'D her
that all iesh is grass that we've all got to 90
the same way /; and see If she is going to use her
dripping-pan this afternoon
"a WHY. Eliza Mary, 1 amt seen ye for don't
know how long : - - No, Mrs. Jenkins, you
amt, I've been that ill don't seem able to get
well at ALL 80 But haven't ye taken any
remedy2'' :" No, indeed, Mrs. jenkins, but I've
taken power of physic."
80. Elder. will you have drink of cider p in
quired a Yankee farmer Of an old temperance
man who was spending evening at his house,
Z" Ah-hum-nO, thank ye, said the old man
81 never drink any liquor Of any kind-sPeclally
cider but if you II call it apple juice Ill take
drop
A New York boy, i've years of age, having
stolen n can of milk, his mother took him to
task with moral suasion, and wound up her dig
course by exclaiming, " w hat IN the world were
YOU going to do with the milk, anyhow 81
was going to steal little dog TO drink 1t was
the crushing reply
The Protestants OF Germany beginning to
prepare to celebrate the four hundredth annl-
Versary of the birth of Luther, which occurs
November 10th, 1888. The principal celebration
will be held at Wartburg, where Luther COM
pleted his translation Of the Bible n general
committee has been formed, Of which DIR. kuster,
Burgomaster OF Eisenacb, is Chairman.
Enter Jones, the Magnificent, with stranger
-'' little surprise for you Mrs. j.! Let me
Introduce MIR. Virgins, whom have persuaded
70 take his chance and come and try pot luck
with Us, and hope you won't starve him, hey,
nv love ? Mrs. Jones (eurtseying)-" There's
no fear Of that, Mr.. Virgins. I got my hus-
bands telegram IN time. Punch
Among the replies to an advertisement of q
music committee Tor candidate for organist,
music teacher, etc, vacancy having occurred
by the resignation Of the organIst In oGice was
the following; - Gentlemen, noticed your ad-
vertisement for an organist and music teacher,
either lady OF gentleman. Having been both for
a number Of years, offer you my services"
Charles Dickens had sharp eye for literary
peculiarities. On January Is, 1858, when George
EliOt's sex was still q secret, he wrote to Mr..
Langford: 'Will yOu-by such roundabout ways
and methods as may present themselves-convey
, the note OF thanks (inclosed) 70 the author OF
" Scenes OF Clerical Life whose first two |
stories can never say enough Of, think them
30 truly admirable. But IL those two volumes.
or part Of them, were not written by q woman,
then should I begin TO believe that am
woman myself F"