The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1881-06-18

up: persons having no Duslness III
this office will get through with it as
soon as possible and leave"
Newly married husband: "This is
a friend of mine, my dear-a friend of
twenty years standing. His bride !:
Good gracious. Then pray give him
a seat, for 1 am sure he must be tired.
"Eugenia, Eugenia, will you insist
on wearing the hair Of another woman
upon your head?" "Alphonse, AL
phonse, do YOU still insist upon wear
ing the skin of another calf upon your
feet ?"
Peck's Sun has been looking up the
millinery business. and it finds that
thirty cents worth of velvet. three
cents worth of wire and forty cents
worth of feathers can be stirred up and
sold for $25.
A French newspaper states that
when Sara Bernhardt arrived in Ha-
vre, she received perfect ovation.
The whole city was on foot, and more
than 10000 lined the pier and streets
leading to her house.
A census of missions is expected to
be taken this year, and il is estimated
that it will show an increase of 2OO,-
600 native Christians in the three mis-
sion fields of India, CeylOn and Bur-
NAH, for the last ten years.
A brilliant idea: Jones has got all
idea. He expects that Newfoundland
was so called because of the New
foundland dogs that inhabit that coun-
try. Nobody but Jones would have
made so startling discovery.
Malaysia, with its 100000 inhab-
itants, has been as yet scarcely more
than touched by missionary labor.
The American Board sent missionaries
to parts of this field, but ON account of
their ill-health the work was given
up.
Mamma, l dou't think the people
who make dolls are very piOus peo-
ple," said a little girl to her mother
one day" "Why not, my child ?"
because you can never make them
kneel. / always have te lay my doll
on her stomach to say her prayers"
Il am self-made man." said ma
tive of StOnington the other day to a
New York gentleman, with whom he
had been driving a sharp bargain.
"Glad to hear you say so" responded
the New Yorker, who had been
worsted in the trade, for it relieves
the Lord of great responsibility"
The liquor dealers of New y FORK city
paid about $350,000 into the city treas
ury for licenses to carry on the rum
traffic i'll 1880, and the city cOmptrol-
Ter paid out of the city treasury about
100000 to pay the expenses of the
courts, police and prisons, as the cost
of keeping the liquor business going
Oh in the city.-SOutheTR Youth.
A sympathetic small boy-Papa :
''That picture shows the story of Pro-
metheus and the vulture that fed on
his liver. Every day the vulture de-
voured it and every night it grew for
him to eat it again" Sympathetic
child: Poor, dear old vulture! How
sick he must have been OF liver every
day !''-ROme IN. " Sentinel.
The inhabitants of the BOrdelais
county are prone to exaggeration, but
one of them recently met his match.
He was dining with japanese friend
on the Boulevard, and mushrooms
came under discussion. I'm my
country" said the Bordelais, the
mushrooms under the trees are larger
than these plates" "What of that p
exclaimed the Jap. "In my country
it is the trees that grow under the
mushrooms"
Here is an unwelcOme paragraph
from the East: ''The Turkish Minister
of Foreign Affairs announces officially
that hereafter no Moslem shall be al
lowed to leave his religion and become
a Christian, under penalty of death ;
that no one shall be allowed to teach
doctrines subversive of Islam; and
that any foreigner engaged i'll such
teaching NAV be arrested and impris-
Oned without consulting foreign con-
suls or ambassadors"
The fish commissioners of Maine
it is said have adopted very inter-
esting method of testing the long es-
tablished scientific belief that fish re-
| turn from the ocean to the streams III
which they are Matched. They have
labeled with light, indestructible metal
| tags several hundred salmon, which
| they have turned loose i'll the PenOb-
scot river. Each fish is numbered
and recorded. The commissioners
now ask whoever catches a labeled
salmon in any water of the state to
forward to them the fish, for which
they viii pay an extra price, or else to
forward the label and whatever they
know about the fish that wore it.
Three old gentlemen are sitting
around table on a steamboat, wait
ing to get another party to game of
cards. Presently they spy a nice
looking young fellow. One old party
goes up to him and says: pardon
me, young man. We want somebody
TO join us in game of cards. Would
be happy to have you with u.s."
''Thanks. Inever play cards" "Take
drink with u.s." Thanks. l never
drink" "Well. Have a cigar"
Thanks. never smoke" "Oh! now
l rather like that in a young man.
Come into the cabin aud III introduce
you to my wife and daughters. D."
Thanks" said that demure young
man, Il shall never marry"
Some of the larger cities, says an ex-
change, recognizing the necessity for
saving children from lives of infamy
and shame, have organized societies
for the protection of children"
Wherever men and women are hud-
died together in poverty and misery,
as is inevitably the case in cities, be
they large or small, there will little
children be found breathing an atmos-
phere of vice and immortality. The
BdItimOredn thus truthfully speaks
relative to this subject: Apart from
the moral and religious good accom-
plished, such associations are the very
best and cheapest police agencies that
can be employed, and an ounce of their
! rpaveofiOn IL haffpr than a Mound OF