Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1881-11-11

READY MEN.

heady men are generally witty mon,
and they are almost always laxative
men What Lord Bacon said two hun
dred years ago has never been contra
dicted. Reading makes a full man, con-
ference ready man, and writing an ex-
act man, and, accordingly, the nations
that are most talkative arc those that
have most wit and most readiness The
Celtic race possesses it in great prepon-
dorance over the Teuton. A French
man is unapproached at bon mot, and
II German can scarcely understand one
But the gift of readiness, though gener-
ally found with wit, is quite Independent
of the capability Of humor We count
Lamb and Thackeray among the fore
most Of our humorists; but poor Ella,
though matchless in the saying of good
things, could rarely get them out fast,
aud Thackeray himself says that he
thought of his own generally when he
was in bed With all his taste for So
ciety, he could never make good after
dinner speech, and often enviod Dickens
his rare and valuable faculty. And yet
he did in his life say some very good
things When hc paid his first visit to
America it was known Of him that he
was very fond Of oysters, and, at din
ner given in his honor, the largest oys-
ter that the place provided-quite an
abnormal oyster in point of size-was
placed before him. He said himself
that he turned pale when be saw it, hut
that he ate it in silence Ills host asked
him how he felt after Profoundly
thankful, said Thackcray 81 feel as if
| had swallowed a baby"
The rarest recorded instance Of readi-
ness was undoubtedly that of Footc,
the comedian. He had given offcnse to
famous duolist Of the day, who had
vowed vengeance. and was only Whiting
to meet the luckless actor Footc was
told Of it and kept out Of his way for II
long time. At last they met at an inn
where the actor generally dined, and
where the duelist happened quite casual
ly to como in. lfootc saw his danger
when it was too late but, as his enemy
said nothing, did his best to entertain
him and keep him in good humor. No
one could be more divertng when he
choose, and here he was not only very
anxious but very successful He told
one story after another He kept the
table in roar. The fre-catcr became
quite pacific, aud was delighted with
his new friend Foote passed from one
good story to another, and at last took
to initiating people, a practice for which
he had extraordinary faculty. The other
guests got quite uproarious with the fun,
when suddenly the luckless actor saw
from the face of his enemy that he had
inadvertently initiated one Of his friends.
The duellist was in fact putting his hand
in his pocket TO pull out card and pre-
sent it as the preliminary to a challenge,
when he turned round to the mimic and
said in dry, satiric voice "Really, Mr..
Foote, you are so uncommonly clever in
taking other people of, | wonder whether
you could take yourself off," ooh,
certainly" said Footc, and he walked
straightway into the street. Here his
readiness probably saved him bis life.
One very amusing instance Of military
readiness is given in Naper's " Me-
morris" The troops were defling down
a narrow gorge in India, when suddenly
a mad bull was seen charging down at
full swing and With tremendous impetus
The captain had presence Of mind enough
to give tho word Of command, which bis
soldiers mechanically followed. The or
der he gave sounds singular enough. II
was this: prepare TO receive cavalry"
The soldiers obeyod, aud the unfortu-
nate bull was imraled on their bayonots.