The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1881-06-11
Do You Want u bath ?


an estimable citizen of Brooklyn who was
aroused from his peaceful slumbers about mid
night recently by loud knocking at his door
Appearing at a window he asked what was
wanted. "Who lives here?" inquired a voice
from the street John B. Smith" he replied.
"Are you sure of it?" asked the disturber.
"Of course | am" said the citizen. 81 am
Smith, and I've lived here for twenty-five
years" "Well, Mr.. Smith, said the disturber,
as he walked slowly away, "why in thunder
don't you move?"
This pleasant anecdote will remind some OF
our older play goers of a similar prank that
was played here by Charley l}arras and Ned
Adams in the days that are not so very long
past They are gone too, poor fellows. but
their memories will be kept green in many
hearts in the years that may not be SO very
long to come.
They were sad wags, both of them, and as
fond of practical jokes at other peoples eX-
pense as ever were poor Dundreary Sothern
and Billy Florence in more recent times.
Twas on Saturday night, or rather early
Sunday morning Adams had been playing
not very successful weeks engagement at
the theatre (then the metropolitan" now less
sensible, the "Academy,') but his SPIRITS were
not affected by the bad business. He had IN
vited Barras and some of the boys to supper
after the performance, at Boomers famous
restaurant, and the feasting and flowing had
not been limited to reason and soul, Starting
out for stroll, between them they managed
to cover good deal of sidewalk. In front OF
plumbers shop they encountered huge
full-length bathiub and there was hand.carl
convenient. The boys placed the tub IN the
cart and then lifted Barras into the tub, and
there they had tirstclass funeral procession
with Adams as chief mourner. Soon their
solemn humor changed, and they began
knocking at the doors and rousing the inmates
to know if there was anybody in the house
that wanted bath. After meeting with sew
eral good humored repulses they came al
length to the gloomy looking mansion on
Washington street, Just above North Division
that used to stand on the spot now occupied
by Miller Il Grelner's mammoth store. Many
of our readers must remember the staid Quaker
family that resided there-brothers and SIS
ter Adams knocked loudly at the door, and
after making noise enough to rouse the seven
sleepers, a long nightgowned figure appeared
at one of the upper windows. What doe;
the want?" asked an angry voice. pray
does Mons Tonson live here?" inquired AID
ans, politely. Nay" replied the worthy
quaker, this is Friend Miller's" well, Mr.
Miller said Adams, "do you want bath %
There was no answer but the window wa
shut down suddenly, with n slam. A shor
consultation was held at the sidewalk, and i
was decided that there must be somebody II
the house that ought to have bath. Agar
the door.bell was pulled violently, and agail
Mr.. Miller raised the window. "Well," h
demanded, what does thee want now !:
I"Does your good wife want bathF' aske'
J Adams, with an air Of the deepest solicitudt
81 haven't got any wife," replied the irat
Quaker, banging the window down once NOR
; with less patience than before.
There was another consultation on the side
walk, and one of Sothern's most lncOnsequen
gags happened to occur to Barras as "happ
J thought" The door-bell was jerked again
and at last the angry Quaker appeared for
third time, almost speechess with rage. BE
fore he could say Word, Adams took tn
: cue, and SAID with the regular Dundreary hes
} itatlon: "If you h-h had wife, Friend Miller
w-w-would she want bath g"-Butalo Ia