Public ledger. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1865-1893, 1881-07-30
sPOOPENDYKE's BICYcLE.
He Kindly Invites His Wife 10
witness His Experiments.


WNuesS AAAs experiments
Brooklyn Bagle.l
Now, my dear, said Mr.. SpOopen
dyke, hurrying up to his wife's room
''if you'll come down in the yard, rv
got pleasant surprise for you"
/ What is it?" asked Mr.. Spoopen
dyke; what have you got, a horse?'
Guess again. grinned Mr.. Spoop
endyke. "It'ssomething like a horse.
II know It's new parlor carpet
that's what it is.
mo, it isn't, either. | said it wa
something like a horse; that is, it goei
when you make it. Guess again"
is It paint for the kitchen wallis?
asked Mrs. Spoopendyke, innocently
mo, it amt, and it amt a hogs
head Of stove blacking, nor it amt I
set of nice diningroom furniture, nor
it amt seven gross Of stationary
wsshtubs. Now guess again"
Then it must be some lace curtains
for the sitting room windows. ISM
that just splendid" and Mrs. Spoep-
endyke patted her husband ON both
cheeks and danced up and down with
delight.
Its bicycle, that's what it isl
growled Mr.. Spoopendyke, II bought
it for exercise, and m going to tide
it. Come down and see me.
well, amt | gladl" calculated
Mrs. SpOopendyke. you ought to
have more exercise, and if there's ex-
ercise in anything, it's in a bicycle,
Do let's see i'll"
Mr.. Spoopendyke conducted his
wife to the yard and descanted at
length on the merits of the machine,
I'm few weeks I'll be able to make
a mile a minute" he said, as he
steadied the apparatus against the
clothes post and prepared to mount.
Now you watch me go to the end of
this path"
He got foot into one treadle and
went head first into a flower patch,
the machine on top with prodigious
crash
Hadn't you better tie it up to the
post until you get on, suggested Mrs.
Spoopendyke.
Leave me alone, will YEP" demand
ed Mr.. Spoopendyke, struggling to an
even keel. I'm doing most Of this
myself. Now you hold on and keep
your mouth shut. 1t takes little
practice, that's all. "
MIR. Spoopendyke mounted again
and scuttled along four or FIVE ieet
and Topped over on the grass plat.
That's splendid" cOmmeced his
wife. You've got the idea already
Let me hold it for you this time"
IT you've got any strength you
hold your tongue, will YEP" groWled
Mr.. Spoopendyke. 1T don't want
any holding. 1t amt alive. Stand
back and give me room, now"
The third trial Mr.. Spoopendyke
ambled to the end Of the path and
went down all in a heap among the
flower pots.
That's just too lovely for any
thiDg" proclaimed Mrs. Spoopendyke.
You made near mile a minute that
timel"
Come and take it off," roared Mr..
Spoopendyke. ':Help me up bod
CAST the bicyclel' and the worthy gen
tleman struggled and plunged around
like whale in shallow water.
Mrs. Spoopendyke assisted in right
ing him and brushed him off.
" know where you make your mis-
take, said she "The little wheel
ought TO go first, like a buggy. Try
it that way going back"
Maybe you can ride this bicycle
better than | camp bawled Mr..
Spoopendykc. "You know all about
wheels. What you need now is
lantern in your mouth and ten min
utes behind time to be the City Hall
clock. 1t you had bucket of water
and a handle you'd make steam
grindstonc. Don't you see the big
wheel has got to 90 frstp
Yes, dear, said Mrs. Spoopendyke,
"but | thought if you practiced some
with the little wheel at first, you
have so far to fall"
who fell2" asked Mr.. Spoopen.
dyke. Didn't you see me step off? |
tripped that's all. Now you watch
me go back" f
Once more Mr.. Spoopendyke started
in, but the big wheel turned around
and looked him in the face, aud then
began to stagger.
Look out /" squealed Mrs. Spoop-
endyke.
Mr.. Spoopendyke wrenched away,
and kicked and struggled, but it was
Of no avail. Down he came, and the
bicycle was hopeless wreck.
"What'd We want to yell for2" he
shrieke1. Couldn't ye keep your
measly mouth shut2 What d 'ye think
y are, anyhow, fog horn2 bod CAST
this measly bicyclep" and Mr.. Spoop-
endyke hit it kick that folded him
up like bolt of muslin.
Never mind, my dear consoled
Mrs. Spoopendyke, "Im afraid the
exercise was too violent, anyway, and
I'm rather glad you broke it."
. s'pose 50, snorted Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke. There's sixty dollars gone"
Don't worry, love, I'll GO without
the carpet and curtains, and the paint
will do well enough in the kitchen.
Let me rub you with arnica."
But Mr.. Spoopendyke was too deer
ly gTieved by his Wife's conduct to
accept any Office at her hands, pre-
ferring to punish her by letting his
wounds smart rather than to- get we'll,
and thereby relieve her Of any anxiety
she brought on herself by acting SO
outrageously under the circumstances.
The LEDGER Office book bindery, 13
Madison street, has good workmen,
uses good material, and charges mod
crate prices.