The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1881-02-18

EDITORIAL CHIPS.
The improvement Of Yaquina Bay
is q certainty.
READ our letter from Mexico oR the
FIRST page; also .,..s wash
ington r.
70 oI Wales is trihe over
100000 in debt. Come over, Prince,
and well loan you piece
TINS is the time e. .....agraph TO
the effect that it's battle be-
tween Mitchell and Scott
TnE latest news from Dakota IL a
herd OF brdalc ~ miles lorg. That's
tho biggebv We ever herd Of
TnE new appropriation gives 81 800
for clerical work in tho Office Of tho
Surveyor General Of Oregon.
Yesterday tho Upper Columbia river
was open to navigation and the weather
east Of tho Cascades IN modcrnting.
THERE is only ono man in Portland
who knows when tho Willamette IL to
!, I'd there, and ho is deaf and
COLORADO stage robbers permit each
victim TO retain money enough TO buy
a lottery ticket and drink Of good
whisky.
SAKBORg, Steel aud others want Geo.
". Coles fat place in the Portland post
office, but George isn't certain that ho
will let go.
ANY time you want your wife TO pick
up the ax and split her own kindlings
just hint to her that you can sec she is
growing old and weak.
THoNAs CARLYLE, tho famous Eng
liGh osSAyist, historian and philosopher,
died at Chelsea, (London) en- Saturday,
Feb. 9th, aged 50 years.
FoR tho past week the telcgraphic re-
ports have tcemed with sad record Of
foods and disasters from storms
throughout tho Eastern States.
OVER seven thousand bills have been
introduced into the present Congress.
No wonder the poor fellows like to take
a holiday on every trining excuse.
Ak Albany lady informs us that she
can't play off physicians prescription
on her baby. When the baby wsnts II
song she ID bound to sing it.
THE Pennsylvania Legislature is
having a hard time in selecting Sena-
tor. Bayne was ahead at last accounts,
with Wallace and Beaver close behind
a Brooklyn man has commenced an
attempt to go without food for forty two
days, and there is every prospect that
his stomach will soon Le as hollow M
his head.
TnE police Of Columbus. o.. must be
sharp fellows. The" -' "'a" who
is q" thinking q a bank, and
anothe~ 1T 10 forge his faith
a BALTIMORE court has held that
person who gets his or her ear ioJnred
while listening at y J.e las le-
gitimate right to dan not dam
aged enough already.
A GIRL who = mind TO set herself
about Il c"n 'rn the handkerchief
Irritation ,n six weeks, and be able TO
understand signals from loafer in a
second-story window.
AFTER all the Jokes published about
hotel clerks and diamond pins it trans
pires that only one clerk out of every
thirteen has property Of the sort. Let's
dry UP on that lay.
There is an editor on the Chicago
Journal who thinks the success of every
{ i - ! country rests on his shoul-
ders. Any fling at squashes is resented
as a personal insult.
They call this the harvest moon,
That is, farmers sit on the porch Of an
evening, and by it's light cuss Fate that
they didn't raise but twenty-five bushels
of wheat TO the acre
Some people are 80 full of advice
that it is impossible to take it all in.
The only way is to can large share
for future uso. There is nothing that
will keep like advice.
An Iowa farmer was SO frightened at
receiving telegram that he fell dead.
WonSer how he'd have stood it to have
a years bill showed at him just after
he had paid his taxes.
WOMEN have cheek enough to wear
mems hats on their heads, but there is
one thing they dare not do. Not one
of them dares remove her hat in public
and dust eff the bald spot.