The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1881-10-07

A young fellow saw his girl in bath
ing, and she drew him into her net and
made him fly with her just because he
spider.
PHYSICIANS WINE.
New York physicians say that they
have been using Speers Port Grape
Wine and Wine Bitters in their practice
for years, TO the entire satisfaction of
their patients and themselves, and take
great pleasure in recommending them
to the public as being all that is claimed
for them, and, in fact, the most reliable
they can find. 1t is especially recon-
mended for consunptives, the aged and
for females generally. For sale by q.
A Klein, druggist, Bloomsburg, Pa.
The roar of Niagara is pitched in a
Falls key.
A good name for locomotive would
be Cinderella.
"Who grasps much holds little" The
proprietors of Ely's Cream Balm do
not claim it TO be cure-all, but sure
remedy for Catarrh and Catarrhal Deaf
ness, Colds in the Head aud Hay Fever.
Cream Balm effectually cleanses the
nasal passages of catarrhal virus, caus-
ing healthy secretions, allays inflamma
tion and irritation, protects the membra-
nal Innings of the head from additional
colds, completely heals the sores and re-
stores the sense of taste and smell Ben
eficial results are realized by few ap-
plicatons. A thorough treatment as di-
| rected will cure catarrh. The balm is
easy to use and agreeable. Sold by all
druggists at so cents. On receipt of 50
| cents will mail package. Send for Cir
cuar with full information. Ely's Cream
Balm Co., Owego, N. Y. For sale by
G. A. Klein, Meyer Bros, N. J. Hen
dershott, and j. II. Kinports.
The man that doesn't urn his salt
probably puts it into bags.
| Singular that artists affect SLOUGH hats?
| Chimney pots would make EN- draw bet
| ter.
Can man with fire in his eye commit
a cold -blooded crime?
| THE BEGINNING OF SICKNESS.
Never triile with what are called small
ailments. If you feel inert, with bit
ter or bad taste in the mouth, loss of APP
petite, bowels costivc, resort at once to
Simmons Liver Regulator. For the mis-
cries of dyspepsia-and they include al
most every unpleasant feelingithat be
longs TO physical disease and mental
wretchedness-this potent medicine,
Simmons Liver Regulator, is certain
and speedy cure.
| While putting petroleum on your bald
pate do not carry matches in your
hat.
The Ohio river is drying up In this
it differs materially from the Ohio poll
tician.
The only secret about Ayers Cherry
Pectoral is in the selection Of the best
colds and sklllfully combining them by
. chemical processes. This all medica
, men are aware of, as they are furnished
with the formula of its preparation.
\ We like man with lots of temper
t 1t is the man who gets out of tempe
L. that we don't like.
/ 1t is strange how often il occurs tha
a the person who thinks he KNOWS mos
q about business is one who has neve
O been engaged in it.
G GREAT OIL BOOM.
e f. Balch, Elgin, Ill.,. writes: "Tha
: after trying dozens Of patent liniment
y without relief, for rheumatic and sti
u knee, ! feel | have struck oil at last, fC
IT, | oft ,l,,n I,,,l., II fNh,p,o
'e Eclectric Oil, I'm prepared to say it
!" the best application | have ever uscd."
rs Learning" says a Down Easter, "
+. well enough; but it hardly als TO gi'
70 u $4,000 education to So boy"
I'd An Illinois man has twenty five acr
As OF wateimelons, and his four dogs ha'
al run themselves poor in week.
,o THE LAW OF KINDNESS
20 Is universal; it affects all the hum;
rd family, all animals, and may be eve
a. found i'll patent medicines. Some a
of drastic, and the patient is obliged to 81
ke fer pains worse than the disease; but
lie cases OF obstinate constipation and dN
nd pepsia, there is no remedy so kind,
,r- gentle in its effects, and yet so satisf;
ed tory as Burdock Blood Bitters. Pri
he 81, trial size 10 cents.
'es Men love chances so well that tn
M would rather win fifty cents than ca
H. two dollars regularly.
ro Professor Pictet is the discoverer
M the "liquefaction of oxygen" Pic
nt. up, as it were.
he AN ENTIRE SUCCESS.
en, 1t has been proved by the most II
an able testimony that Thomas Eclect
ch Oil is an entire succI KS in curing {
mt most inyeterate eases Of rheumatis
IS, neuralgia, lame back, and wounds of
six cry description.
DO, New York is enforcing a law agar
n9 young men sending their wives back
no their parents TO be supported. Sol
'h thing new turns up every day TO brl
'ho the roseate hue and gaudy glitter Fl
iey the face of matrimony.
i'm "a farmer" says an agricultural io
nan nal, docs not need SO many hands si
the the invention of the roaping machil
,ith No, by the teeth of the dragon; and ,
ble rule he does not have so many by ali
mel one-half, And if he has as many han
,ars ten 10 one he hasn't half so many
mo- gers.
r. Exhausted and enfeebled constituti
nan suffering from dyspensia and nerve