Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1881-11-10

Brooklyn Eagle

in their families Nor does the trouble sto,
here. The children of sue. marriages ar
far more unhappy than those born of parents
whose social rank and prospects are neare
together. They early learn that their rela
tlons on one side of the house are better thar
those on the other and the discords ant
enmities awakened by their parents mar
riage react upon them. Young people, how.
ever, who are in love and are bent upon
matrimony rarely consider the consequences
OF their act; they usually persist in their
folly and see themselves somewhat in the
light of martyrs. Their bliss is too often
short lived, or, if it lasts through the first
year of married life, both the man and the
woman find that, to say the least, they were
hasty, and that each might have lived with
out the other for considerable time longer,
| perhaps forever.
A graduate of two colleges and presumably
a man of education and culture, o person of
wealth and social rank, was married recent
Iy to the daughter of a shoemaker of Oyster
Bay, Long Island. The contracting parties,
fortunately, were not infants before the law,
and the consequences of their mistake, if
there had been mistake made will not be
so hard to meet as it would be were both in
their youth. Presumably, the bride is the
husbands inferior, not because of her fathers
poverty and lowly condition, but by reason
of 1T. She may be as good and angelic in
disposition as angels are said tobe, but if
she be lacking in mental and those other
qualities of repose and dignity, in word, if
wanting in the manners OF lady of the
world, in the best sense of the word, misery
is most likely to follow. A man has so many
different advantages over a woman in
the way of personal independence, that he
can, generally speaking attain knowledge
faster than she, in her more retired place in
the world. His outlook is broader, and his
good health and practical sense will help
him to meet life more evenly and with less
friction than she can, provided they begin
life on the same plane. IT the woman be the
mans superior at the outset she will scarcely |
keep the mental distance between herself |
and her husband. She may retain all the
that she possessed at the start
but it is not likely that he will remain so
as would she under .i,sshhe circum-
stances. But there are greater chances of
happiness in this case than if the facts are
reversed and the husband is the superior.
He continues ahead, and by and by, when
the early intatuatiOn has worn off and reason
asserts its sway, the lack of companionship
S felt. The man has wife but she is not
Ill he would like his wife to be- BY reason
If her delinquencies he is cut off from the
ocial place he would like to occupy, and S
which was his before marriage Disastrous ,
esults naturally follow. Either he loses ]
leart and becomes an exile from his right q
lace, Or else he pushes on in the race and d
caves his wife behind him. The history of I
nequal matches the world over proves this c
ut the misery and the wrong that flow from C
nobody has ever yet attempted to calcu- v
ste. Men of brains who seek wives below
1emselves do it at the peril of their future d
appiness and worldly peace and they are Il
OF strong enough to overcome their mistake, n
0 matter how exceptionally prosperous their n
ltward circumstances may be. Rightly W
arried, a man is winged for any fight un- W
Iually matched he is seriously disabled for b
,eat work ii
The man or the woman who is ashamed of II
lie wife or husband chosen lives but n poor lie
rt of a life, from which there is no happy st
,liverance. Unequal unions may be very Sc
mantle for the time being, but they ulti- ce
ately become, as rule, the most barren of al
ntiment of any that are contracted The q,
city, rosy checked maiden who is welded to
r her bushes and her shy, pretty ways, is
too likely to be neglected later on because la
e roses have faded from her cheeks and w
r shyness is replaced by stolid indifference a
downright hardness of demeanOr. A in
oman who marries above her station is to ma
no less pitied than she who weds below it, he
the fist instance her misery will come w;
rough the loss of her husbands regard, and tn
the next through the loss Of her own self tn
spect. 1t was only little while ago that of
e highly educated daughter of an ex-Gov- ho
nor OfCOnnecticut elOped with the man hired We
take care of her fathers horses. Much of fir
nance was made out of it at the time, and IN
udicious friends who saw in it vindica- ex
n of the popular saying that love is no re- ma
ecter of rank or worldly place, urged that tn
: pair be forgiven and received into the ch
de's family on an equal footing. The th
her would not risk the breaking up of his no
me by the entry into it OF the new made pe
mber, and he disowned the daughter. by
nat is the result? That same daughter of
o repaid the love of her father with scorn
his feelings is to-day earning her living
h her needle, and making herself miser-
e in the company of people who, however hal
d they may be, are wholly unfit to be viii
companions. If she finds it hard, what be
l it be to the children she will rear, who die
judge her harshly when they come to am
liZe their mothers mistake? Children pOr
IL Oh SUCH unions are usually marked With IL u
restlessness and unhappy feelings of the can
ents and if they grow to be wholesome des
lded and happy hearted, they are to be cul
graduated. AS general thing, they are said
opposite to this, and are not likely to can
i've their parents folly. The daughter the
he shoemaker, or the blacksmith, may in eacl
ity be the equal of the rich mans son, of a
has had thousands of dollars used to Ali
every advantage, social and educational, brot
him, but it is not commonly the case that and
is. The chances are all against her, and
i'll require an immense reserve of affec- Il
to make such union tolerable. If she twel
,t called upon to enact the rOle of neg SIX
ID wife, she is the happy exception to OF Il
rule that knows few exceptions The half
thing, it is said, that operates against SO shoV
t man as Henry Clay was the differ than
in character between himself and wife. mer
difference grew with their years, and unct
n their children had grown to manhood, cut
,ad of being the crown and honor of their grow
!, as they should have been, to say the coar
they were not so. The histories of very while
y of our public men attest the irremedi- youl
results of UNEQUAL marriages. and there othe