davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1881-06-03

REDDING's RUSSIA SALvE has proved its EN-
cheney by test Of three quarters Of century.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1881-06-03

Ask Druggists for 1t. Itclesrs out rats, mice.
reaches, bed-bngs, flies, yermin, insects, 5c.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1881-06-03

Shoot Quick, and Then Ia
But, first of all, write for our illustrated cata.
logue. Ct Western Gun W'ks, Pittsburgh, Pa
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1881-06-03

TIE sassyest man ever met IL . hen.
pecked husband when he Il away from homo.
7Josh Billings. ...t-.....r
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1881-06-03

LYDIA e PlNKHAA'6
VEGETABLE COMPOUND.
The Positive Cure

HbPau thsse Painful OamDlaants anl WeGknsasss
sesG1n.sa tesR bsee fe1a1o DeD0lat3sn.
HvM cure entirely the woese form Of Female Com.
paainAs IN ovarian troahass, InnamaEion and Uca.
ton, 1AlnG snd Displaeemsnts, and The eonsequsaG
SPINAL weamesl, and = pazticulasH adaptsd . ths
< Il win dissolve md ezpel tanmsfrsat hs u191sin
N eaxiy aage Il developmenA ne tendeneyto en-.
c.fous humor5tAMeA checksd yspssd1y b. II usA
Is removes fatn41so, 0Atalsney. destroySan ezsvfng
1oesetmnlanfA md relieves weakness Of tha aonnAch
1 cures Moottngs Headaches, Nervous Pfostrakion,
osneRal Dsa1ity, 6lssplsanss, Dspis11in a,A lnlir
1hss fea.sg q bearing dow. e..aias pain. yaeAs
md beekache, = always peranenfly cured b ~ ID
Du0 ct an Times and under IN ei1uanlsea1n n n
Aemopy with tAelswS tAat govern ~ fsnalsQstGn
1or tAs crsoe Kidney Conplaints Il sifhr G9tAb
0eMpoend unsmpaea y I4I EGIils N
.IYD4AE-RMKHA1RD VEoE1ADk8 cen.
1OU1Dh vsspased . ~ asd - Weasga Aysnna.
Lynn, 1aa Hf11 q ax bot<lagfoe - o01 1ymafi
6As6oEn q pMR alse Aths Torn 6e IsalnIsa =
Socepe ~ pR1sA q pr hd1 Tor elfApr, Ma Elakkaa
noeayangw1Es "a lettsn a inQ1hy. I'D for pasnph-
- zA6Feo = abova Aas1es ~ RetR. .
1ofnnily ahgu1d - VlEAsD xXDGAk IuRRnHS
"a tospidF & AsnsE sesssSG -
Dell b R1CHARDsoK Z CO., st. Louis, IA
: ~ - Nnrv aaTR me- rRvY<skvesin ~
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1881-06-03

BAKERS PAIN PANACEA cures pain In Man
and Beast. Use externally and internally.
DIR. ROaER's VEGETABLE WORN SYRUP in
stantly destroys worms and removes al tho
Secretions which cause them. ~
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1881-07-27
.Artes,an Wells in New York.

New York Evening Mail.
Much interest was felt in the undor.
taking, about year ago, of boring an
artesian well under the Fifth Avenue
Hotel. The drill was driven down to q
depth of 2,lOO feet, almost half mile,
but no important vein Of water was
struck, and the enterprise was aban.
doned It is not difficult, however, to
secure an ample supply of water by
such boring, especially below Twenty
third street, the depth of the forty or
fifty artesian wells now in use here be.
ing from 800 to 500 feet. One of the
most successful is that of Bauer & Betz,
brewers, which is 500 feet deep, and
yields 1900 barrels Of water daily.
The cost of an artesian we'll is about
$4,000, so that none but large consume
ers OF water find it an object to bore
such wells. Many brewers, manufac-
turers. hotel-keepers, and other large
consumers of Cr0ton, pay a water-tax
of from $1,000 to $4,000 a. year; and
for them it Is economy to bore artesian
wells. the water of which is free from
vegetable matter and other surface im-
purities. Its temperature. So degreea
the whole year, is so low that little ice
is required where it IS used. Mr., Jesse
Button, the contractor, who has been
boring wells for thirty years, suggests
that artesian wells might be bored
along the Croton ac9ueduct TO increase
the water supply, 10 thinks il would
be possible to add 100000 barrels .
day to the Croton supply from one veil
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1881-07-27
A Definition OF a Gentleman.

what do you call q gentleman"
asked the duke ''Will you give me
definition of the word?'' '.That is not
so easy, my lord; indeed, I am not sure
that it is possible to define the word
satisfactorily replied Lady De We're,
fixing her eyes on the expressionless
face Of tho interlocutor. s.By rcsorting
to metaphors, however, may perhaps
be able to outline what we all feel, but
are unable to fully describe. A gentle
man is one in whom the vigorous and
the delicate are happily united. The
soft, the refned-that which comes
from seeking the society of women of
culture, lies in the .gentle;' the strong,
the firm, the stern-that which comes
from battling with men, lies in the
man. gentle implies the possession
of all the social, man of all the civil,
virtues; man is the fiery wine, gentle
the tasteful goblet; man is the sharp,
correct drawing, gentle the warm,
soft coloring; gentle might be the Syb-
arite who is disturbed by the falling
of rose-leaf, man is the Brutus, who
as Judge knows not even his own child.
Pcricles, the brave, magnanimous, ami
able, refined Athenian, might be offered
as an example of the true gentleman.-
Spselhage,e's ''Laely Clara De Te,e.''
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1881-07-27
The Argument Against the Blind Bride.

The Argument Against the Blind Birdie.
We know not who invented this in
strumcnt Of horse torture, but we know
he did not understand the anatomy and
physiology of the eye of horse. HUI
man vision is binocular-that is, we SEQ
the same object with both eyes and so
adjust the axis of vision that the object
appears single though seen with two
eyes. But The eyes of the horse are
placed on the sides of the head, and the
axis of each is nearly at right angles
with the longitudinal line of the body,
SO that it is impossible that tho same
object can be distinctly seen by both
eyes. Now, by binding the eye in the
direction in which it was intended, in
its construction. that it should see, it is
forced to use an oblique vision, as if we
should cover the front of our optics and
be.compelled to see only by the corners
of our eyes. This unnatural and con-
strained use of the eye must, to great
er or less extent, impair vision, If not
entirely destroy it. The object for
which the blind bride is used is not &C
complished by it. A horse is moro
readily frightened when he cannot see
tho object of his dread than if he can
have q fair view of it. But it is sur
prising to observe with what tenacity
men hold on to an absurd and cruel
practice when moments reflection
should teach them better. Nineteen
out of every twenty horses you see in
harness have blind brides on, and if
you ask the owner to explain its bene-
tits, or why he uses it, he will be utter
" unable to give a rational answer.
We are not surprised that draught
horses are subject to diseased eyes-we
wonder that they are not all blind. In
diana Farmer.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1881-07-27
Honor to tbs Brave.
Punch

l
Mistur Punch, Sur,-I wright to YOU
as knows as ow you won't let the Brit
ish army go for to be sighted! Not
you! Look ere sur There wos a chap
as called imsclf ''speshur' as came
over to the Afghan wor. Is name wos
Archibald Forbes. And wot did Q do?
Wy saved a kupple of chaps lyves by
bynding up there wounds under tyre!
Wot that? E was sivilyun! Well
now kwas never under fire in my ole
life and yet zsports the Afghan wor
NEEDLE Ike vite proper! But I am q
sod ger and arnt! That hawkes. all
the duffrance! And yet this chap
Archibald Forbes-wornts the meidle
two! never card such cheke! Xnd
after being mentioned in dispatches
two-as If that wornt enuff to sotusfi
the likes of e! But in corse the sukka-
tary of staff for Injy as refused i'm
Kevite proper! STOPPED cove, if 9
worntcd the mcddle wy didn'nt ware
q red cote? If Q ad ed ad the wor
mcdd!e given i'm like burd! Wots
more for saving the lives of them coves
G would av ad a Victoria kross two {!
But for a sivilyun to arsk for NEEDLE!
Well | never-its downright stoopid =
l rename Mfr. Punch, Sur, yore affesh-
nuth frcnde (signcd) THOMAS ATKINS
\ his mark. P. ST. arnt responcibul
for the horthoggruffy of the cove who
rut this-cos wy! l karnt wright or
spell miself!
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1881-07-27
Deyout Young Robbers.

Greek brigandage is a regularly or.
ganized business. A little capital fox
the purchase of arms is required. Pa
pers are drawn up, in which the shares
OF the captain and the men are speci-
fled. Sometimes routes are let by one
band to another for percentage. It
proving exceptionally good in one case,
the parties came very near bringing the
affair into court on !. lawsuit. Death to
the captive is almost certain if the ran
som is not paid. A ransom which was
once on its way from Constantinople
was stolen from the messenger by an
other band, but the captive was killed
all tho same. A farmer having two
children captured could send the money
only for one, and the boy was returned.
He begged little delay, but the band
was on the move and could not wait.
The little girl was found afterward with
a stab in her heart and wild flowers in
her hand. These robbers never drink
wine, never neglect their religious du-
ties, always cross themselves before eat
ing, and never omit the numerous fast
days the Greek Church insists upon.
Some are well read, one leading scoun-
drel always travels about with small
library.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1881-07-27
Colored Aristocrats.

In a ''study of an old Southern bor-
ough' in the Atlantic we find the fol-
lowing: ':In the newer towns and tho
larger cities the negroes have by this
time forgotten their old masters and
old homes, or do not care for them.
But in an old borough there are always
some who have passed their whole lives
there. Their old masters they always
address as old mascr,' and his sons as
Mars James, or Mars Thomas or
whatever their christian name may be.
At their old home they feel that they
enjoy no slight privilege, and even that
they have sort of right to see that
everything about the household goes on
well. These negroes have sort of
contempt for those who have no such
old attachment. 1t is common phrase
among them, in speaking of negro
who did not belong to an aristocratic
family: "Dat Niger amt 10 manners,
neber had no raisin'-poor folks nip-
ger.' Sometimes these old negro men
preserve the lordly manners of their
masters. Their negro dialect does not
seem to detract from their gentility,
and they are noticeable as mon of par
ticularly line manners.
"A Virginia lady in Louisville had
employed genteel old negro man to
nurse her son, who was suffering with
a broken limb. She noticed ut once
the dignified bearing of the negro; and
one day she asked him, Uncle Ned,
where were you reared"
In old Virginny, madam with
polite bow.
".l am a Virginian myself she con-
tinued.
s. From what part OBJ de State, ma
DAMP
8: From Fairfax, Uncle Ned. Nv
maiden name was Morson.'
:" i knowed dat we was related, ma
dam. b'longcd to old Mars Hugh
Morson. l knowed dat we was re-
tated.'"
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1881-07-27
A Bow in Command.

When General Bonaparte first came
among us we were furious with the d.
rectorato for having sent a boy to COM
mand us. Ut should be remembered
that ut this time Napoleon was only
twenty-six years of age.) He was q
short, awkward-looking, thin youth,
and the army was seriously discomfort.
ed with having such boy placed in the
chief command, while generals like
Augereau and Massena were placed
under him; but they soon felt the influ-
ence OF the young generals genius in
establishing order among them, and
after the battle of Montenotte, when
Napoleon. on the following morning,
visited the hospitals. and addressed
words of encouragement to every
wounded soldier, and saw himself that
his wounds were dressed, and his fail.
ing strength revived by suitable nour-
ishment, kind of magic confidence in
him came over the spirit of the soldiers.
which the subsequent victories of Diego
and Mossemo, following soon after that
of Montcnotte, kindled into spirit of
enthusiasm. Temple Bar.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1881-07-27
Women's Tears.

He must be brute indeed who can
bring tears to q woman's eyes. His
heart must be of stone to enjoy the spec
tacle OF woman bathed in q flood of
wild emotion, with the convulsive sobs
shaking her little form, while grief, like
q tornado, tdsses. her about like paper
collar box on the bosom of tho boiling
torrent.
Few men have the hardihood to look
q grief-stricken woman in tho face while
her nose swells up, angry and iritated,
in the distance. Few men are so lost
to all the better feelings of our nature
as to do an act which will thaw out the
frizzes and flood the features of the
woman he loves.
This is one reason why many men arc
kind to their wives, who would other
wise be cruel and heartless. They do
not like to see the wife of their bosom
looking as though she bad erysipelas in
her nose.
It isn't the grief of wives that is kill
ing of our husbands. 1t is the terrible
shock to their aesthetic taste. No hus-
band can bear to view the bowling
waste after the washout has subsidized
and the bridge is repaired.
Then, fellow men, on our Journey to
tho tomb, let us resolve that We will not
do or say anything that will bring the
hectic flush to the nose of her to whom
we have vowed lifelong fidelity. Let
Us, as far as possible, stave off the
storm. and if tears must be shed let us
shed them ourselves. Most of us are
80 ding busted homely that it don't
make any difference whether we color
our nose cherry red or sage green.
Then again if we weep pretty pro-
miscuously and keep our nose middfing
red, perhaps we can fool the temper.
ance people and thus regain some of
the respect that we have lost.-BiU
Nye, Laramie Boomerang.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1881-07-27
A Deadly Scorpion.

A Durango correspondent describes \
terrible scorpion, known as the alacran,
which infests that region. Its sting is
mortal in every case, and no remedy
has ever been found to counteract it's
deadly poison. The spasms are, so vio-
lent that it takes three or four strong
men to hold q patient stung by it. Hap
PLY the suffering is short. for after two
or three hours it is all over. Patients
emit from their mouth a greenisl-yel-
low scum, which turns into black,
spongy matter in a short while Every
year thirty or more deaths are record
ed as the work of the alacran. The gov
eminent pays premium for their
scalps, and the boys hunt them and de-
rive quite a revenue from that source,
but the pest does not seem to diminish
any. They are said to occupy but a
small belt of land running east and
west. taking in Durango and Mazatlan.
San antonio Ter. Herald.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1881-07-27
And then-come back.

Ana tlcn-cOmc DaCK.
He fully meant it-give him all the
credit he deserves. But, when he came
back among his associates, when ho
was at home again among the fashion,
able leaders of society, and saw tho
difference between them and the girl
he had so madly dreamed of placing at
the head of his own table
It was a terrible struggle-perhaps
the first that Sir Aubrey Trevelyan had
ever had with himself. All his life the
way had been made smooth to him,
and he had only to 60 whichever way
suited him best.
But now he realized that a decisive
choice must be made between the little
dark-eyed girl in the country, who suit
ed his heart as no other ever had, or
ever would, and the fashionable woman
who would do such royal honor to his
name, his taste, who would queen it in
society rs his wife would be expected to
do.
But which?
Amid all the rapturous welcomes that
greeted him, that question, stern, un-
compromising. stared him pcrpetually
in the face. One hour he had nearly
decided to 60 back to Saxenham, take
Violet, and eschew fashionable life
the next, he realized with a groan, how
insupportablc life would be that had
no excitement, no whirl of gaiety in it.
And so the days went on. and, still
undecided, he did not go back-days
during which Violet waited, at first all
sweet patience, full of trusting happi-
ness, then busy making excuses for
him, until
He made his decision one day, and,
with the impatient impulse so charac-
teristic of him, gave himself no rest UNI
til he had sealed his bargain-the bar
gain which in his very soul he knew
was the wrong one, and yet the only
one that the iron bands of custom and
pride and social obligation permitted.
He went straight to Maud Brereton,
and found her as usual--gracious, ele-
giant, the very woman, he told himself
in feverish sort of exultation, who
would do him credit.
He told his story we'll, and she listen
ed with rare grave grace, and then
informed him that she had been en-
gagged for some days to the Marquis of
Ambcrleigh expressed her regrets and
sent him away feeling strangely be-
wildered, because he could not tell
whether he was relieved or chagrined,
or disappointed.
1T settles it for me, in that line," he
said to himself. II will marry the
girl love, and tho world may smile or
frown. have made my venture for
its favor, and failed. I will suit my
own nceds.''
And it was with lighter heart than
had throbbed in his breast for MANY
day, that Sir Aubrey Trevelyan found
himself at Saxenham one bright, balmy,
early March day, when it seemed that
tho south winds and blue sky were
stolen from the promise of tho glad
May that was to come.
And-just in timc-to meet, as he
sat contentedly back in his carriage
that fetched him from the station
Violet Harland's funeral.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1881-07-27
How Whistler Painted a Oeilinp.

low "nlStler falnted Telling.
Probably you have heard of Whist
ler's Extravaganza in.houses. He was
engaged to decorate noble mansion
in Belgravia; the price was no object to
the owner-and for that matter neither
was it to Whistler. One day friend
asked me to 90 over and see one of the
rooms that was nearly completed, and
fastened to accept the invitation. This
IS what we saw on entering: A very
slim, spare figure extended on q mat
tress in the middle of the floor; beside
him, on an enormous palette, paints,
half-dozen long bamboo tish-poles set
ting on a line with their butts close at
hand. and very large pair of binocular
glasses. Whistler, dressed wholly in
black velvet, with knickerbocker pata-
looms stopping just below the knee,
black silk stockings. and low pointed
shoes with silk ties more than six
inches wide and diamond buckles, was
fiat on his back, fishing-rod in hand
and an enormous eyeglass in one eve,
diligently putting some finishing
touches on the ceiling, his brush BEING
on the other end of the fish-pole. DC.
~sA0.ty AZ "oUAu PUN w u1S UOUOA0
glasses like some astronomer peerinp
at the moon, and, having gained q
nearer and better view of the effect, he
would again begin to agitate the paint
brush at the other end of the long
pole.
':Now, wouldn't be fool,n said he.
ito rick myself on q scaffolding, and
nearly twist my head off my shoulders
trying to look upward, when 1 can
overcome the difficulty and annihilate
space SO easily thusa' and he gave. q
wave of his fsh-pole.
And such room! One mass of
gorgeous purple and blue, ornamented
solely with an enormous number of the
eyes of peacock's feathers. It was q
room to make man lunatic in a
week. 1t was as If all tho peacocks in
Christendom had settled down upon
one, and were about to smother ono in
tail-feathers. And this Was the celo-
brated peacock room" about which all
London went wild not long afterwards.
London Letter.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1881-07-27
The Swallows Fine.

A remarkable incident occurred at
East Baltimore the other day during a
rain storm. A large flock Of swallows
suddenly made their appearances, and
began to descend the chimney Of tho
house of police-oflicer Wolff. They
followed in such numbers that the Lead
ers were driven to the base of the CHM
ney, and the noise they made led Mr..
Wolff to remove tho tircboard, when the
birds quickly filed tho room, seeking
exit. The doors and windows were
opened, and they few out. There were
thousands Of birds engaged in this
strange demonstrations, which lasted for
some time, when the swallows, finding
they could not mako . lodgmcnt, went
on in > great mass to seek shelter else
vhare. VS.. !.
Cardinal Newman, Of England, Is an
excellent musician, and PLAYS tho violin
with exquisite skin.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1881-07-27
American Oourtship.

Who am I? I'm Miss Midgct's beau;
Age, twenty; namc, T. Tompkyns Snow.
Dress nObby; travel on n,ychcek,
And earn six dollars in a week.
Who is Miss Midget? She's a blonde;
OF cream and candies she is fond;
Likewise OF me; she is sweet sixteen:
Can play piano: is u queen.
Do intend to merry? Why,
or course Ido-tit is, when
Get rich, and yet, most any day,
My fate and may run away.
What would we live on? Well, my plan
Would be to board with her old man;
He couldn't sec us starve OndI
Would be his partner, too. Byc-byc!
III. G.. DODGE.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1881-07-27
She Fell In.

Yesterday afternoon a woman about
so years of age, who was waiting with
her husband at the Detroit, Grand Ha-
ven & Milwaukee depot for train,
went out to view the river and fell in.
just how she did it she could not after
wards explain, but the men under the
freight sheds heard an awful yell and
a ''kersplash," and ran to the edge of
the wharf to find the old lady kicking
up sea enough to swamp skiff. She
was duly hauled out and given seat
on barrel until she should recover her
nerve and wiring out her clothes. As
she sat there crowd gathered. and one
man said:
Its a clear case of attempted sui
eide. Her lover probably went back on
her, and she does not care to live any
longer
':And how sad it is to see an old wo-
man driven to such desperate straights,
sighed another. ''She must have set
her cap for third husband and been
disappointed"
"Well, these women are curious crea-
tures," added third. +'This one seems
to be fully 80 years old. and yet she has
been signing around the depot here for
two hours like girl of 49,.
The old lady went on with her wiring
ing without even looking up, md q
fourth man remarked:
swell, perhaps this will learn her q
lesson and be solemn warning for her
to change her line of conduct. She
looks like hard old case, but there's
chance for even the wickedest to strike
out into new paths"
Her hair had fallen down. She gave
it a twist into hard knot, and arose
and shook herself, and then sat down
and said:
"Now, then, do you suppose I'm going
to take off my stockings and wiring 'em
before such parcel Of great big fools
as you are? There wasn't no suicide
about it; and as for love and signing
around and being disappointed, want
to tell you that I've got an old man
down there in the depot who can break
your necks as fast as he gifts to ye! Now
scatter-git out-dust. If I find any of
you loafng around here during the next
half hour I'll make him want a wig to-
kiver his baldness!''
The crowd vamoossed, and in two min
utes after the captain of barge going
up the river was using his glass to dis
cover what on earth the two red stock
ings hanging over q barrel could sig-
nifty as marine signals.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1881-07-27

''You are feeling much better, ma
dame, than you did when I saw you
last said the physician, gently press
ing his fingers upon the patients left
wrist. ooh, much better, doctor, thank
you. Just after you left little Johnnie
upset the table and smashed all the
medicine bottles" -Brooklyn Courier.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1881-07-27
POEMS of Places.

There was a young fellow of Milton,
Whose collar it would keep within;
The warmer he got
The frecr he ''swot;"
BE jabcrs," said he, I'm a miltin',"
There was an old man Of Wolf Creek.
He said, 'Ifcel powerful wcak;'
So tho doctor came in
With a big dose of gin,
And poured it right down his old bcak.
There was young man of Lock Haven,
Who boldly said, I'm not a cravcn;"
But one evening, rather
Than meet his girls father,
He fled away, shrickin' and ravin'.
-BURDETTE,