River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1881-05-12
Spoopendyke Battles Mrs. =.

| Nov, my dear" said Mr.. Spoopen-
| dyke, as he bounced out of his bathing
house and thumped on the door Of the
one occupied by Mrs. Spoopendyke,
''are you ready? We must hurry into
the water and get out again, or we
won't get through in time for dinner"
Mrs Spoopendyke emerged, bent al
most double, and shivering with the
cold.
'Isn't it rather chilly?" she asked.
'Not at ALL Mrs. Spoopendyke, not at
all; the air is rather cool, but the water
is warm. If you are going with me
you want to move along"
As they reached the beach Mr.. Spoop-
endyke left his wife and boldly strobe
into the surf A wave broke over him,
filling his eyes, noes, ears and mouth,
and then he strobe out.
What are you standing there for,
eh?' he demanded. What do you
take yourself fora big lighthouse?
Did We come down here to take BATH
or are you waiting for some ship to tie
up to you? What is the matter with
you, anyway"
I'm afraid of the waves, whimpered
Mrs. spoopendyke, they're SO big"
"Ohi they're too big for you, amt
they" retorted Mr.. Spoopendyke
"Wait till get man to saw you off q
little one Better get measured for one
to suit hadn't we? It's the big waves
you want, / tell you. Look herep and
Mr.. Spoopendyke marched boldly into
the sea again. Another wave caught
him, and landed him high and dripping
on the beach.
"Why didn't we come when / called
We? What dye want to make me walk
all the way up here after you for?
shrieked Mr.. Spoopendyke. 'Are you
waiting to be launched like ship?
Can't you walk as far as that? What
are we hosting up the legs of your
pants for? They amt skirts. Now look
at me. See how / go in, and you fol-
low me when | beckon to you. Watch
me now"
Mr.. Spoopendyke plunged IN and
swashed around few minutes in safety,
but the treacherous water was biding
its time Another wave caught him
and rolled him over, pumped itself into
his stomach, drew him under, whirled
him around, and finally deposited him.
bowling, upon the sand.
"Got most ready to go in" he jerked
out, as he climbed up himself and as
sumed the perpendicular ''Think Pm
going to slam al round here all day, like
a waterspout, waiting for you? What
did you come here, for? Find any fun
standing out there like a soda water
sign? Why DON'T you get into the water
if you are going to? Come on now"
'I'm afraid, sniveled Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke. eff | go in l know | will be
drowned"
mo, you won't get drowned, either.
Can't you hold onto me? What did you
put on the shirt and trousers for if you
meant to get drowned? What are you
doing around here? Now when | go in
again you come along. or else you go
home"
Mr. Spoopendyke plunged into the
surf, but as he came up he missed the
rope. For q second or two he sprawled
around, and then began to yell. Mrs.
Spoopendyke eyed him for moment.
and then her fears for him ove1carne
her fears for herself, and with yell she
dashed in and hauled him out by the
hair.
''Dod CAST the waterp' choked Mr..
SpOopendyke; I'm full of the nasty
stuff. So you got in, didn't We? Let go
of my hair, will ye? Let go, | tell vel
What dye think you are. anyway
steam barber shop? Going to let hold
of that hair sometimes"
But, frightened out of all reason, Mrs.
Spoopendyko chung still, and hauled
Mr.. Spoopendyke to his bathing house.
ooh, if | hadn't saved you" she
sobbed
"Oh, yes. you saved me, didn't you?"
sneered Mr.. Spoopendyke "All you
want is our alright compartments and
two sets of thole-pins to be patent life
raft. Are you going to let go of that
hair?"
And as she released him they went to
their separate apartments Brooklyn
Eagle