davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1881-06-11

I INVITE the especial attention OF AZ
4 persons in need or COOKING SJOH ~
to the following list Of necessary furii,,
ture which give with each stove, ana
which guarantee 10 be first class IN eV-
cry respectful Wash Boiler, coffee
Boilr. Sauce Pan and Lid, Iron lea
Kettle, Iron Pots, 2'POt Lids, Long
Griddle, Skillet, ) Sheet Iron PUs,
Lid Litter, Poker, Stove ScrapeT, .
Joints Of Pipe and Elbow Large
Tin Bucket, Bread Pau, Culehder,
wash Basin, 2 Pudding Pans, Paiiy
Pans. II Pie Plates, ] MIX StTaihef'
Milk Skinner, Plain Ladle, PIerteu
Iadle, Soup Ladle, Iron Spoon. CAKE
Turner, Egg Whip, ] Pie CFibiPCr ahn
Trimmer, Fancy Tea Pot, sad IIGh''
| Tea Pot Stand | Sad Iron Stand, rep
per Box, NutInsg Crater, Candle suck;
j Cake Mould, 6 Fin Cups, Dipper,
Biscuit Gutter, Boiling Pin, Poia'o
Masher, Butcher Knife, Knives ana
Forks worth 81 % per get, Albaia faDIe
Spoons. Albata Tea Spoons, Coal 5no.
vel, Flesh Fork, Jelly Cake Pans,
pound OF Stove Polish.
sell the Celebrated Excelsior COOKING
Stores at the following prices. vii de-
liver STOVES and Furniture free Of TeignI
in Bridgeport, Nd, at any station on ne
S.V. X. r., also at any station on the >.
& O. X. X. az far west as Cumberland or
south to Stanton.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1881-06-11
New Goods
AT THE
POST OFFICE STORE
Al
DUFFiELD'S!

THE undersigned has just laid in nan.
| supply of Spring and Summer GooI'
10 be sold at the lowest possible nricos
consisting in part of Calicoes. Cottons'
Cottonades, Linens, Towels and Lii,
Dress Goods. Cotton, Batting, Waddina
and Canvass and full line of Hose. Socis
as low IS 60cents per dozen pairs. Also,
large stock Of Winter Goods which viii
be sold very low.
The Notion department embraces LsJi.,
and Gents neck wear, Collars. Cugs
Scarfs, Ties, Handherchiefs, Ribbons
BreaSt-pins, Ear-drOps, Collar and Cha
Buttons, studs, Fans. ParaSols, Sc.
Also full line of GROCERIES. Canned
Fruits, Sc, TobaccoS, SHUTS, Cicsr,
Pines, Wooden and Tinwarc: CuIlerv
and Hardware, ShovelS, Forks. Ave:
Hatchets, Curry Combs and Lamp Goods
Coal Oil. &c.
Mems. Ladies, Misses and Children,
Boots, Shoes and slippers from the civ
markets Mt reduced prices. Harvest
SHOES VERY CHEAP.
4 full line of QUEENSW ARE. ASH.
perior line OF BOOTS ard SHOES, spcb
as Mems Fine Calf. Stitch Downs, PIov,
Shoes, &C. and Ladies Fine Lasting Cal.
tiers, Slippers, and Childrcn'S Shoe, Of al
kinds. 4 full line of GROCERIES.
COUNTRY PRODUCE AT HIGHEST
PRICES taken in exchange for goods.
Special attention given TO SHUEMAK.
ING. Coarse and Kip Boots and Shoes
end all kinds of Fashionable work done
i'm elegant order; such rs French Calf
Hand Stitched, and Riding Boots, Con.
grcsS Caters; and the new Windsor Low
Buckle Shoe. or any style of Boot or Shoe
desired. Special inducements TO Cash
Customers.
Thankful for past fayorS continuance
of the same Is respectfully requested.
j. 4. HAGLEY.
DufieldS, May 20, 1850. II
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1881-06-11
A New Enterprise =!
A $4,000 Stock of Carpets in
Martinsburg.

THIS may seem little fabulous at first
/ but when we tell you how tits done. you
vii! readily see that it is no eSagSeratLon.
Ii is done by the aid of one of RICHARD
SONS CARPET EXHIBITORS, and Il
lire of samples representing onesof the
largest Carpet Houses in the city OF New "
York, at prices ranging from.2Octs. TO 90
per yard. Thus giving YOU the oPportu-
nifty Of selecting from great variety of
new and choice patterns, us though YOU
were in the city in person. BY this device
We can show you before purchasing pre-
ciscly how your carpet would look when
made up and laid upon the floor. The
sENhibiiior'' is novel and beautiful piece
Of furniture and is well worth seeing. We
therefore extend cordial invitation to our
jefferson friends when they come to our
city to call and we will take pleasure in
showing it. We also keep a full line OF
Oil Cloths, Rags. Mats, Mattings, Window
Blinds, &c. Respectfully,
ID, W. TIMBERLAkE.
April lG, 1881. 3m
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1881-06-11

January :, 1881.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1881-06-11
Z 4oOE1 HeE'e9
Buggies! Carriages !
VEHICLES !
OF EVERY DESCRIPTION!
The Best Variety of Buggies, Carriages,
and Vehicles generally, ever offered
to the people, and less in price.

desire TO call the attention of the c!tl-
zens of Berkeley and surrounding coun-
ties to the fact, that l have on hand a
large and elegant supply of family car
ragcs. buggies, rockawayS, jenny mas,
and other styles of vehicles, also wagons
of all kinds and descriptions, which am
selling lower than other dealers i'll my
line. either for cash, OF time, or IN eN-
change for horses, country produce, or
secondhand carriages. | ask attention
to these terms as they are more liberal
than carriage makers usually offer. Times
are hard and money scarce, but want
my friends and customers 20 know, that,
nevertheless, they can supply themselves
with carriages.
Persons in want of CID carriage wheel
to fix up theirmarket wagons, or to make
temporary wagons, will find at my facto-
nv any kind they may desire, some of them
very good and will last long time for
Repairing promptly done as usual. Give
me call, if you want anything IN my
line; it will not be my fault If we doh
deal. W VI. r HE EN-
Martinsburg, July Il, 1880. ly
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1881-06-11

! AIDES Md Gloves, cheap, at
Il D. 4. HILLS.
The Republican journal., 1881-12-22
A Distinction with a Difference.

\ very dilapidated looking tramp en-
tered the counting room of one of jersey
Clty's wealthlest storekeepers, and coming
up to the desk, asked
'sAin't your folks from Posey county,
Indiany ~
"Ies."
And your name in john Smith ?"
eyes"
"Shake You have at last found your
long lost brother Bill. | am in need of
money"
'Here is quarter. Take it and 60"
The long lost brother turned over the
quarter time or Sc, and then said
lis a quarter all you can spare your
long lost hrother?'
"Ihats all. Go now Or I'll call a pc
iceman ~ said the merchant
"TlIaccept the quarter on account Of our
relationship. That is family matter
but beside being your brother, Tm a
tramp and dead beat. Now apply to
to You professionally Give me another
quarter"
The Republican journal., 1881-12-22
Beans for Dinner.

They tell a good story about one Wy
name, a diminutive drummer we'll
known here and Oh the COmstock. He
stopped one night at Deming, New
Mexico, favorte resort Of the cow boys
Madame" said Abe to the landlady,
give me some dinner and be quick
about it. have not dined since yester-
day"
The lady brought him some bean soup
Madame, take the soup away.
never eat soup. Bring on the roasts
right away"
The lady brought him a large plate OF
pork and beans.
Madame, take that away. never
eat those things"
In vain the lady explained that pork
and beans was the best that the house
afforded He was obdurate, and wanted
roast beef, rare. a mild hammered,
bluh eyed cowboy at the table then
Clipped in: "Beggin' pardon, stranger
but you must excuse the lady. We"
"Who are ycu, sir?" retorted the
drummer. II know nv business"
"You don't tell me ~ said the festive
cowboy, drawing his navy. "Now, you
eat them beans I'm gOin' to sit here and
see you feed. Light into EN-, quick OF
III open you, sure and put em in. This
is bizness with me, an I'm shoutin' in
yer ear"
The unfortunate drummer saw blood
IN the air, and was forced to choke tOul
plates of the unwelcome food down be
fore the cowboy was satisfied with his
apology to the landlady Reno Gazette
The Republican journal., 1881-12-22
The Esthetic HOuSekeeper.

She was a graduate Of Nassar, and
when she married Julius Augustus
Smythe, was very much like another
young lady who has been embalmed in
, song
Miss paas Andora Won Blurky
Who didn't know chicken from turkey
High Spanish and Greek she could huenty speak
But her knowledge Of poetry was murky
However, she told Julius Augustus
that She was good housekeeptr because
her mother and grandmother were, and
it rau in the family. SO, on the strength
of this, he went to housekeeping. She
bon ght a sweet little morocco covered
not book and an embroidered market
basket, and carried a gold pencil, wore
an aesthetic morning costume, and APP
peared like a vision of delight before the
magnates of the cleaver at the Central
market.
''Oh, the dear, sweet, cunning little
pigs" she exclaimed, standing at an
aldermanic, stand where several little
roasters were on exhibition. "Ill take a
couple Of those how much are they a
pair 2"
Give dollars for two, was the realistic
answer.
4Isn't that rather high? ! guess I'll
take yard Of beef steak and 4 pound Of
chewing gum instead and some-oh,
yes some sweetbreads. Julius said he
wanted some; nice, fresh ones, please,
with plenty of raisins in them"
Then she sailed over to poultry stand
"1ave you any chichens?" she asked
OF the woman in attendance.
"Heaps Of EN-" was the reply.
Chow much do they cost d heap ?" she
asked in rather faint voice.
''EIalf dollar apiece, mem"
''Well send up a piece to my residence"
And she turned to the next stall and pick
ed up some packages that looked very
nice. "What is that sweet stuff that
smells so lovely? ~ she asked of red
headed boy who stood behind the table.
''Limburger, miss, and it's Just spen-
did +; tastes ever 50 much better than it
smells-have one ~
She took one and then she asked where
they sold quail on toast,
"Ain't any in the market" answered
the young reprobate. "Mother's gone
after load, though, and wen send YOU
some as soon as they are in
.'What are those lovely navy blue Der
ries 2" she inquired "They VIII Just
match my china, You may send me a
bushel"
Finally she decided to try quart,
which she carried herself in tile artistic
basket.
"Have you any hen fruit y She asked
sweetly Of an old fellow in white apron
He scratched his ear with I, pencil for
a moment: "Mebbe you mean h'eggs,"
he volunteered.
These she also took charge of, as she
wanted TO make an omelet for julius Au-
gustus.
But She never did, or rather, when
she got home the omelet was made
with liberal admiXture of blueberries,
and the front of her aesthetic dress was
ruined. Added to this was an odur that
sent julius into spasms and frightened
the cat to death-the limburger had
melted.
The Nassar girl did justice to high
Spanish and Greek in the explanation
that ensued and the next day they
burned the morocco note book and went
to boarding. Detroit Post
The Republican journal., 1881-12-22
BELFAST THURSDAY, DECEMBER p. 1851.
1.-The Pitfalls Of Youth" by Carl SChurZ.

When was little fellow in Stuttgart,
viii yellow hair and wooden shoes,
theue came one day to the school which |
attended an American boy named jim
saunders, whose father was a New York
broker He was quiet, simple looking
child with great, soulful brown eyes,
IN innocent look in his face that
l-aue us all think he couldn't know
." r. We used to make fun OF his
face and thin legs, because in
\ many, you know, the children are
all round faced and fat. Little Jimmy
never seemed to notice that we were Ell
ioying ourselves at his expense, and he
made US think he must be too simple for
any use. But after he had been in the
school about six months and could speak
German pretty well, a circus came to
town, and, OF course, was the sole topic
OF conversation among the boys One
day we We're discussing the matter. When
Saunders, who had been sitting quietly
IN corner Of the room, said he should
think little boy might crowd in under
the circus tent and see the show that
way. We all laughed at this exhibition
OF ignorance, because We knew how
closely the tent was watched, and more
than one of US had been made Temperate
y dellrlous by having the boss canvas
mf boot lean suddenly against the
50 OF our pants. SO when little Jimmy
this we laughed heartily, and Jacob
| a1AppbpIroar rl,n h., l.; I
in school, said that nobody but a Yankee
would talk so toolshly. But Jimmy
seemed to think he was right. and
fnally Jacob offered to bet him two
marks that he couldn't get into the
circus lnder the tent. Jimmy always
had p. y OF money, and he at once took
the be- Then several more Of the BOYS
began betting the little fellow until |
felt sorry for him and finally | concluded
to 90 + n SIX grOschen myself, 50 that |
could we the money back to him when
all the theirs had won theirs, and do a
noble /. Little jimmy took my bet,
and alter all the money had been put up
With Mr.. Nlerstciner, one OF the teachers,
IT, whole crowd went over to the circus
&c "a see James lose He went
nigh so the ticket-Wagon and bought
a tic Then he said to the man, 81
reckon there is no objection TO my
goi under the canvas as long as |
la paid my way n The man said
certainly not; if anybody wanted to
take the trouble he had no objection.
SO Jimmy crawled under the tent and
came out of the main entrance in
minute looking Just as solemn and
innocent as ever. OF course Mr.
Nerstener had to give him the mon
ey because he had won it fairly, and
after he had put it in his pockets he
wnked at US and said, ''If you little
towheaded Dutchmen think | knocked
around New York eight years for nothing
YOU will get left" This sad incident
came near blighting my otherwise
happy boyhood. Chicago Tribune.
The Republican journal., 1881-12-22

Yesterday morning a man with load
OF fowls, country produce, &c. stopped
in front Of the house Of prominent
citizen. and the good wife came out to
inspect the display.
Guess III take those two wild ducks
for to morTow's dinner"
Guess you'd better take something
else, madam" said the produce man. 81
met your husband on the road this morn
ing with a wagon, two horses, three dogs,
and hundred rounds Of cartridges, max
ing for the big duck slough"
ooh, indeed The poor man." replied
the lady. "You had better give me
four ducks; he may want some when he
gets home" Salt Lake Tribune.
The Republican journal., 1881-12-22
What Women say at Weddings.

The following remarks have mostly been sai(
time after time at all our tony" weddings. am
Will re said again and again on every sucl
occasion
Here she comes
Pretty isn't she
Who made her dress
Is it Surah silk or satin
Is her veil real lace
She's as white as the wall
Onder how mucn he's worth
Did he give her those diamonds
He's scared To death
Isn't she the cool piece
That trains a horrld shape
Isn't her mother dowdy
Aren't the bridesmaids homely
That's a handsome usher
Hash she cute little hand
Wonder what number her gloves are
They say her shoes are tives
Is his hair parted in the middle
Wonder what on earth she married HIM for
For his money Of course
Isn't he handsome
He's as homely as hedge hog
He looks like circus clo1n
No, he's like a dancing master
Good enough for her anyway.
She was always stuck up thing
She'll be worse than ever now
She Tilted Sam Somebody, didn't she
No, ne never asked her.
He's left town anyway
There, the ceremony has begun
Isn't he awkward
White as his collar
Why don't they hurry up
Did she say She would obey
What precious fool
There, they are married
Doesn't she look happy?
Pity if she wouldn't!
Wish were il her place
What handsome couple
She was al ways a sweet little thing
How gracefully she walks
Dear me what airs she puts on
Wouldn t be in her place for a farm
I'll bet those Jewels were hired
Well, she's off her fathers hands at last
Doesn't she cling tightly to him, though
She has mortgage on him nov
Hope they'll BE happy
They say shes awful smart
Two smart for him BY joyful
There! there getting IN the carriage,
That magnificent dress viii be squashed
The way she does look at him
| bet she worships him
Worship be hanged she's only making believe
It's Kind o nice to get married, isn't il!
No its a dreadful bore.
Wasn't it stupid wedding!
What dowdy dresses
III never 90 to another
I'm just sutfocated
Tired to,death.
Glad its over!
Oh, dear New Orleans Democrat.
The Republican journal., 1881-12-22

Father" asked Johnny, "what is a
log?" "a log, my son. replied Brown,
stealing hasty glance at Mrs. B. to see if
she was listening for his answer, "a log,
my son, is big piece of wood or timber.
Why do you ask Johnny ?" 1T tells in
this story about heaving the log, and it
says the ship went fourteen knots an hour.
What does it mean by knots, father ~
~'Knots, Johnny? knots? Why you have
seen log almost always covered with
knots haven't you? Well, that's what
it means fourteen Of them the ship got
by fourteen Of them in an hour. That's
all, Johnny" said Brown, with a sigh of
relief that he got out of it so easily.
The Republican journal., 1881-12-22
The Man at the junction.

The other day six railway passengers
over line in Michigan were put down at
junction to wait for d cross line train.
The little depot was the only building in
sight and the man in charge of it was
not telegraph operator He simply kept
the station house and tagged the trains,
and was no more responsible for the run
ming of the trains than the Tycoon of
Japan. Every one Of the six realized
this, and yet it wasn't over two minutes
before one Of the passengers approached
him and asked:
sis that train on time ~
81 guess So"
"1ou guess so Don't you know ?"
''NO, sir"
''You don't, eh +? Then how do you
know it isn't an hour late ~
II don't"
'Don't, eh? Well if that trains late,
you'll"
Here he was elbowed away by the old
woman who made up the six, and want
ed to know
"Will get home to- day Y
81 guess so.
The train stops here, does it 2"
''Ies'm."
"Stops long enough for me to get on 2"
ooh, yes"
"Well mebbe it does, but if it don't
you'll hear from u.s.
She gave place to man who had
looked at his watch three times in six
minutes, and who sternly asked
'Did | understand we were to wait
here two hours y
Yes, sir"
as it two hours before that train
crosses here ?"
eyes, sir 7"
whereabouts on the line is the train
now"
II don't know"
'Nhy don't you telegraph -
eve have no instrument here"
"Haven't, eh? That's a pretty state
of affairs Two long hours, and per-
haps four Now, then if
Here he was called away by the blow
ing Of a saw mill whistle, and the most
peaceful looking man in the crowd edged
up and inquired:
Train ON time ~
Eyes, sir"
"Does it cross here r
''Ies, SIR"
always stop 2"
"Always."
'lf should get left here tonight it
would cost somebody good round sum"
In the course of the next ten minutes
the other two men approached and in
dulged 10 about the same style OF CONVEX
sation, and after an interval OF ten
minutes he was asked what time it was,
why he was not al operator, why the
trains didn't make close connection, why
on earth he didn't have an eating house
III connection with the station. He had
a civil answer forevery question, and his
patience never wavered until Just four
minutes before train time. Then the old
woman said to him for the twentieth
time:
"Do you 'spose I'll miss the train ?"
Il hope not" he quickly replied ''for
II you DO | shall take to the woods"
And at that the six passengers gath
cred on the end OF the platform, went
into convention, and it was unanimously
"Resolyed, That the arrogance and
lmpudence of public servants must be
and is hereby sternly rebuked." NJ Quad
The Republican journal., 1881-12-22

NOTICE TO AN OLD SARDINE. The
Dexter Gazette publishes the following
editorial paragraph:
THERE'S an old sardlne in this village
who had better not give any more false
representations (this is smooth term for
lying about several young business men
in town, or he will get his back straighten-
ed, and be won't be apt to enjoy the oper-
alton much, either. Said y. b. IN are slow
to anger, but they are mortal and their
forbearance has limit.
The Republican journal., 1881-12-22

This is a Gun. Is the Gun loadedg
Really, do not know. Let us find out
Put the Gun on the table aud you, Susie,
blow down one Barrel, while you Charlie
blow Down the other. Bang2 Yes, it
was loaded. Run quick, Jennie, and pick
Up Susie's head and Charles lower Jaw
before The Nasty Blood gets all over the
New Carpet.
The Republican journal., 1881-12-22

A German sat on the bank of river
watching an Englishman who was fishing
FINALLY he exclaimed "Here l have been
for four hours watching this. man holding
his line strange that he does not lose his
patience :"
The Republican journal., 1881-12-22

A Georgia editor says that his "rival
contemporary across the way" recently
took Il very valuable premium at county
fair, "but the constable made him put
it right back where he took it from"
The Republican journal., 1881-12-22

A man who sent s. to a New York firm
in response to an advertisement offering q
musical instrument chat wonld play any
number of tunes equally as we'll as piano,
received jewsharp. with an intimation
that any fool could earn to play upon it
in few hours
The Republican journal., 1881-12-22

A fly is said to have 10000 eyes. No
wonder he is careless where he leaves his
specs.
The Republican journal., 1881-12-22
The SchOOlmaSter.

The young idea to shoot who trains ?
Who drills the mind by corporal palms.
Who cudgels boys and his own brains
The schoolmaster.
The Republican journal., 1881-12-22

The following remarks have mostly been said
time after time at all our tony" weddings and
Will te said again and again on every such
occasion
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1881-09-30

VIRGINIANs CHOSEN JUDGES IN
NORTHERN FIELD TRIALs.-At meet
ing of the Eastern Field Trials Club at
Newark, N. j., on the 9th inst, Mr.. John
M. Kinney of this city, and Mr.. T. F.
Taylor of Richmond, Va, were appointed
two Of the four judges to serve at the COM
ing fall running meeting beginning on
Thanksgiving day on Robins Island, N. J.
Upon the occasion of these field trials,
many of the best and bluest blooded sport
ing dogs from all parts of the country
come in competition for valuable prizes,
and 1t is the occasion Of a general reunion
of the gentlemen sportsmen of this coun-
try and Europe. We don't know all the
requisites of good judge in such matters,
but if having owned and broken several of
the finest field dogs in the State-having
been an ardent sportsman for 25 years, and
being one of the best wing shots in the
State, coupled with a level head on other
matters, goes to make up good judge Of
field dogs, then the club has made wise
selection in Mr.. John M. Kinney, and we
congratulate it and the competitors in the
races on having secured the services of a
gentleman who is not only fully competent
to determine such matters, but whose
character for fairness and justice is we'll
known to all who are acquainted with
him. 81