Litchfield enquirer., 1881-10-06
CLIPPINGS.

Indiana.
 Guiteau is writing his biography bu. the hangman will add the last line.
 We wish to- compliment General Daniel Psatt on the good taste he has shown in not writing a poem on the national afiictfon
 One of the saddest things in this world is to see young man trying to treat his sweet hearts small and depraved brother as though he were his deareat friend.
 The Pullman Car company's earnings have been larger than ever this year. In time the company will make enough, perhaps, to pay the porters' wages
 The Pfesideht's. physicians lcepldn't have been more astonisbed if the llet which killed their patientahad been finally cut out of saw. log in one of the lumber districts.
 'My son." said the wise father dettly lay ing the skate strap along the shining back of his bowling son, T am doing this for your own goo,i.p And as the lad jumped clear over the saw-buck he walled, Don't make me 100 good, dad be not righteous over much,' you know"
 ..Preyions good character. counts n Texas. ArMan Rho was aon -triaf for arson Drought forward witnesses to prove that he had neg. lected two good chances to steal horses, and the jury decided that no such man could have been guilty of burning barn.
 A party of Nebraskians tried to lynch man wLo endeavored to organize brass band in their town. People who think that Nebras- kiaps will pay immigrant agents and2then let some rattle -pated ass step in and kick over all the work done are mistaken.
 &"What kind of corn crop have you go this year ?" asked Gilhooly of Sam Johnsing, a eolored granger who lives on Onlon Creek, and is very pious. ~~e
 "I cant tell yit, boss Ise waitin' to see what de Lord gibs us. Oars muffin on de stalks so far"
 The man who was about to marry for the sixth time, and who replied, We've usually sot," when asked by the minister to stand up, has been heard from agaIn. He recently led No. 7 to the altar, and when asked for the ring, replied, ''Parson, I've hooked onto six of 'em without a ring, and c'n we kin git along this time. I'll try and remember it in future though"
 "You have got some. holiday tomorrow, haven't you p asked Gihooly of Morse Schaumbnrg, as they met Austin avenue. 4 '''Yes," responded Nose Schaumburg, solemaly; ''to-morrow we shelebrates init prayer and fasting de anniversary of de down fall of Jerusalem"
 "All right. I wish you g happy down fall" @< E i A humofist, embittered by long manufac- ture of jokes and the fiendish pursuit of puns, once impaled baleful joke upon his wife at the close of washday, she then preparing the frugal evening meal, whereupon she smote him over his broad brow with a stewpan. The dying man cried out as he fell. with a gleam of immortal triumph in hiseyes, 'Stew. paudous joke and passed away to brighter land.
 A Charleston dentist announces: ''Teeth egstracted without pane or the yuse of gas at reasonable prices" and friend said: Dave, you ought to have that slgn spelled correctly. Folks wouldn't trust themselves in the hands of a man so ignorant of spell ing" Said the blacksmith: Look here L You needn't think I don't know how to spell l had that sign done that way so the yahoos round here would know what it meant"
 In old times lived Mary Starbuck in Nantuck- ct. She was blessed with an excellent but bashful husband, who could not bring himself tospeak in town meeting but his good wife had the gift possessed by Aaron, though denied to Moses, and she was allowed to speak in the town meeting in the name. of her hus- band. She always prefaced her remarks by these gracious and winning words: ''Mr. Moderator and fellow-townsmen My hus- band 'thinks" so and so. hfs4
 THE KIND OF A ROSEBUD SHE IS. I'm an oplp dounbfo, vor,,c r.;-1 spit curl and frizzes young girl,
 A, iangu,shiDg dainty. all powdery and painty, Sitsup at Il young girl ae--se --~ I'm would-be @sthetic young girl dote ou the arts young girl .E poet in embryos don t know thing you know,' All on the surface young girl.
 I'm novel-readng young girl,
 lie awake until young girl,
 roma ntic, half crazy. but terribly lazy,
 Let ma do the work young girl. I'm 6 look out for a catch young girl, snatch lem up quick young girl,
 A half do the proposing, and bag 'em when dozing. Hold on to your game young girl Darling, wake up and stop snoring" said Detroit woman to her husband. a Fl sEh ?Whazzas matter now ?" he asked as he half raised up in bed. "Won't you please stop snoring? If you only knew how homesick it made me I'm sure you would"
 'Homesick ! How the deuce can my inno- cent snore make you homesick "Wby, yeu know. darling, that the home on the coast from which you took me joy. ous bride, was only half a mile from a gov eminent fog horn and every time you snore stand it. Please lay on your side and have some little respect for iny feelings" And then the brute spread himself out on his back and in five minutes had her bathed in tears as visions of the old home crept upon her. FROM THE DANBURY NEWS:
 This is magnificent time to borrow an um- brela.
 Thecorner stone of the dam on Padanaram stream was laid with the usual inspressiUe Ger. emonies, Friday afternoon.
 The suffering experienced in this state from the long drouth was somewhat frightened on Saturday, when Norwich horse kicked a sewing machine agent twice on the leg. lFl5
 Bridgeport contempIates starting an eques- trian club. It was in Bridgeport drum ma jsr fell from a saw horse and broke one of hls legs
 A genuine case of absent mindedness was noticed in DeKlyn's, one evening last week. A fashionably dressed young lady stepped up Fto the counter and asked how much certain kind of candy was pound The clerk looked up, all smiles and bushes. and said, "We did not weigh him, but he is fine boy all the same." The candy was not bought.
 Howard Lake, Minn., June e3, 1881. J. P. ALLEN, St. Paul,
 Dear Sir:-Please send me another case of Aliens Iron Tonic Bitters A short time ago your agent induced me to try half case. The order was given very reluctantly. but since