Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1881-02-24
Pat FIanigan's Logic.

Patrick Flanagan" said the District
Attorney one day in court, stand up
and plead guilty or not guiHyste the
charge the commonwealth hath pre-
ferred against you"
When Pat had complied with the
polite request made by the officers of
the law, the attorney proceeded to
-rlyd from a paper in his hand ~ very
graphic description of certain trans
action in which Pat had been engaged
few days before.
"What say you? Are you guilty or
not guilty?"
I'm not guilty of half them things
you've read to me-" said Pat, looking
at the court, "but 1 did have bit of a
row last Saturday was week; and l
dunno just what did, fer We see was
stavin' drunk on the meanest corn
whisky yer honor liver tasted"
"But, Patrick, we never taste it." said
the Judge, while smile lurked in am
bush behind the grave, judicial counte-
nance.
"Sure. now, don't We, though?" said
Pat with a look of mingled surpris
and incredulity-"don't We, though :?
Well, then. We ought to, just once, to
see how it acts, and to know how
pity poor fellow that does. Sure
yer honor grants licenses, and how do
We know the mischief yer doing to hon
est men like meSelf unless We take a
drink now and then, jist to see how it
makes man behave hisself."
"WhO gave you the liquor, Patrick -
said the court on voyage of discovery.
"Well, dunno watts his NAME" said
Pat, too honest to turn informer, while
a CLEAN of true native humor twinkled
in his eye.
but l know l seed a license hang
in behind the bar. Ye see, Judge, 1
was wroughtin' for the city, on the
streets jist close by, and was droughty,
and l wint and took a drink that
Ortn't to have hurt a baby, an in tin
seconds 1 YVES crazy drunk, an 1
dreamt / was at a Donnybrook fair,
and that's all 1 reminder till mkt
mornin' whin 1 was boardin' at Sheriff
Ryan's hOtel'
"But," said the conrt, you are
charged with perpetrating an aggra-
waited assault and battery on Mr.. S,
the hotel-keeper."
'Well, yer honor" said Pat, IF did,
l only gin him back what's in his own
whisky, and if yer honor hadn't give
him n license / wouldn't bin drunk,
and if hadn't bin drunk 1 wouldn't
have got into the fight, and if 1 hadn't
We got into the fight wouldn't have
bin here this mornin', anyhow"
This was process of reasoning new
to the court. 1t was a self-evident
fact dressed in plain clothes, and while
the law was with the court. Pat evil
IDENTIFY had all the logic, and here he
summed up the mischief of the licence
system in few sentences.
Scores of men are made drunk ev-
cry day, just because it is so easy to
obtain liquor. The law places it in the
reach of every man. On the streets OF
our towns and cities are hung notices
of Choice Liquors." "Cool Lager
Gale" and Fancy Drinks" to tempt the
laboring man to come in and spend fol
strong drink the money that his family
needs for bread.
On the path he must walk to and
from his daily occupation he sees these
temptations on every side. The licensed
saloon and grog-shop afford him every
facility to become a drunkard. Hi:
appetite renewed and kept alive by in
diligence, urges him OH. There is nc
obstacle in his road to ruin; ON the
other hand, the road is opened ane
made plain and easy by the law. What
wonder is it. then, that the rlIm-shops
flourish while the families of their vic
tins starve?