Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1881-10-28
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In light PLACE.-A young Fon du
Lac, Wisconsin, lawyer learned something
the other night. We know it will seem
strange that young lawyer could learn
anything, but this one admits it himself
He was out calling On young lady, When
a young man and another young lady call
ed, and the young lawyer thought it would
be cunning to get down behind the lounge
and not let them know he was there, and
surprise them by bobbing up serenely from
below when the proper time came. They
came in and the first thing they asked for
was the young lawyer, who had told the
young man he would be there that even
ing. Then they began to talk about him
discussed the size Of his feet, which they
claimed were large, and the size Of his
head, which they asserted was child s size
He perspired when they talked atont hi.
MASKING qualities, how he had mashed
girl that worked in a laundry, and the
opinion Was expressed that he was a regu-
lar flirt. They they talked about his fami-
ly, and he tried TO stuff his ears. Just then
a little terrier belonging to the girls broth
er came in the room, and somebody said
''rats," and told the dog to hunt fol
them, and the dog went under the
lounge and began to sgrowl and shake
something. and there was a sound OF
revelry by night. The other young man
and the two girls rushed out Of the room
and the lawyer got up on his feet, pulling
the dog up near his suspenders by the
teeth, and the dog shook. and the young
man kicked and yelled, and presently the
girls father came in and seeing the dog
having what he supposed was burglar lie
took an old hair cloth covered chair and
was going to brain the burglar, when the
young man told who he was, and the IA
ther unlocked the dogs teeth, after he had
remembered the combination. and tht
young lawyer took himself in his hand and
went away. He won It speak to the youne
people now, and it is said he will sue tht
owner of the dog for Grron or dlOace OF
some other Latin phrase. The worst thins
in the world is to be attacked by CONVEX
satlon or dog, when you are not looking.
''Do you love me?" he asked, Yes, bet
ter than anything IN the world; it's
splendid night for ride" "Oh,' sale
he, dismally. ''it's a wet moon, and yoo
are so likely to take cold" Next morn
ing she said to her mother, Charley auo
have quit; he knows heap about tit
weather, but is perfect ignoramus abou
me-"
''I'n arrest YOU if you don't keep quiet.
said policeman TO Little Rock man.
''I'll bet you hundred dollars you
don't.''
The policeman nabbed him and took him
to the lookup. "Always the way" he
said, as the policeman locked the door;
''never won a bet in my life'''
In the course of a street braWl the other
day, one of the disputants was heard to
reiterate with considerable profanity that
he might be whipped, but he wouldn't be
subjugated. It seems that he miscalcula-
ted little on this point, as he was seen
the next day going to picnic along
with his wife, and actually carrying the
baby.
An old gentleman, finding a couple of
his nieces fencing with broomsticks, said:
"Come, come, my dears, that kind of an
accomplishment will not help you in get
ting husbands 81 know IT, responded
one of the girls. as she gave lunge, ''but
it will help to keep our husbands in order
when we have got EN-"
Blessings often come in disguise. The
sailor who had the smallpox felt 1t hard
blow till they were all shipwrecked On a
desert island and had to draw lots to see
who should be killed and eaten, when by
common consent he was allo wed to live.
A facetious baker in Auburn put broad
grin lately on the faces OF all his CUSTOM
ers by announcing on conspicuous plac-
ard that he sold yeast of new kind which
made bread so light that pound of it only
weighed twelve ounces.
A Richmond physician says that if reo-
pie will take bath in hot whiskey and
rock salt twice year they will escape
rheumatism and colds. But wouldn't su-
gar taste better than salt :?
The publication Of weather probabilities
has it's advantages. The man who reads
borrowed newspaper in the morning finds
out when he should borrow an umbrella.
You may have seen young man on one
side of gate and maiden on the other.
INhu thau talk SO long is because thera 10