Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1881-06-25
Let NO Fat Man Escape.


Fat? You bet he. .wasi And h
was one of those cautious men Wht
wear their winter flannels and sock
| up to the first of June for fear o
cold waves and rheumatic twinges
1t grew hotter and hotter as h,
came down Grand River Avenue
| and he finally slid under the avn
ing of saloon and dropped down
on the head of an empty beer-keg
and grOaned out:
"Lands alive! but she's more
than billing !! Seems to me that I've
commenced to melt"
= He hadn't got the perspiration
wiped off one whole ear when a
tall, lean man came along from the
other way and also halted. Not a
drop of moisture could be seen on
his face, and his hair was as dry as
a clOthes-line.
II presume, SIR" he began, "that
you find this heat uncomfortable ?''
"Great snakes! but I'm roasted!"
grOaned the other.
Nevertheless, desire to make
you an address on the subject of
weather. The seasons are divided
into four. We will first take the
winter season."
"Oh, j, don't want to hear any
thing about the weather. want to
cool off and get hOIne."
''Nevertheless, the winter season
includes December, January and
February" continued the lean
man, as he walked up and down.
''Do you know why we have cold
weather in winter and hot weather
in summer ?'
"Say, let me alone, won't you /
came within an inch of being SUM-
struck"
"Spring is the next season, and
sometimes it is wonderful how
closely it follows winter, and then
again it is wonderful how it hangs
off until fall. Spring is supposed TO
include March, April, May and
several billiards. and freshets."
"Say, / won't stand it If you
don't move on Tll injure you for
life."
z ave now come to the third sea-
son." observed the lean man as he
folded his hands behind his back.
"The third season is called summer
and includes the months of June,
July and August. June was named
after old Juneberry, Greek orator
who cOntended-"
"Will you move on !' yelled the
fat man as he pushed his handler
chief down the back of his neck"
81 will not" was the calm reply.
"June was named after old June
berry, a."
"WhO the he--cares!''
"AIl of us. Old Juneberry con-
tended that the sun WAS composed
Of"
The fat man tried to get up, but
little creeks of perspiratiOn ran
down his back, one of his suspend
ers broke short off, and he fell back
and yelled "police!" in voice SO
husky that he seemed to have
peachstone i'm his throat. Three or
four men came out of the saloon,
and he pointed to the lean man and |
gasped out:
Give dollars to the man that |
mashes him.
"And now comes the fourth sea- |
son." coolly remarked the lean man |
as he walked slowly away, (which |
inclndes September, October and
November, and in leaving this for
field of labor / will say to
you, old fatty, that I'll lay for you !
from now till the end of dog-days |
but what you shall hear the remain |
der of my address and old june
berry's reasons for believing that
the sun was composed Of scraps and
ends of tightening which had drift
ed into q sort of aerial whirlpool. |
You may sweat and blow and call |
for the police, but I'll trail you to
the bitter end, and don't you forget |
it."
And he walked briskly away |
under the hot sun just as the fat |
for mashing him to $50.
MAYOR KAIIOCH. If San Fran. |