davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1881-03-31
THE STANDARD.
Thursday. -.-.-- March 81, 1881
lSan Francisco Evening Post1
A Cabbage and q Crowd.

The other morning two gentlemen
were looking out Of the window OF
house on Market street, when they OBJ
served cabbage roll off a market
wagon that was passing. Instantly
more than dozen well-dressed and ap-
parently sane persons began yelling
after the wagon as though the vegetable
had been a gold watch or thousand
dollar bill. The driver stopped about
half square off, looked back at the
cabbage, yawned, and drove on. ;,
"What an absurd fuss people In the {,
street make over trivial occurrences,
said one of the gentlemen. NOW, LII
bet silk hat that l could get crowd
of five hundred persons around that
cabbage inside Of thirty minutes, and
vet not leave this ROOM"
ST take the bet,' said his friend, pull.
ing out his watch. "Are you ready I"
"Yes; give the word" :,
"It is now eleven-thirty. Co.!
The proposer of the wager led his
friend to the window, threw up the
sash. and taking cane pointed earnest
ly at the mud-covered cabbage with a
terrified expression. Presently hack
driver noticed the action and began to
stare at the vegetable from the curb
stone; then bootblack stopped; then
a bill poster, messenger boy and
merchant.
ssWhat's the matter?" inquired a
German approaching the innocent base
Of his national dish.
"Don't touch it! Look out there!
Stand back!' shouted the gentleman at
the window. At his horror stricken
tones the crowd fell back precipitately
and formed dense circle around the
innocent cabbage. Hundreds came rum
ming up and the excitement increased
rapidly. ;. ;,
s'Look out therer' frantically
screamed the better, waving his cane.
"Take that dog away, quick!
Several stones were thrown at cur
that was shifting around the cabbage
stake care!'' said car driver to a
policeman, who was shoulderlng his
way through mass. ''It's an In
fernal machine, nitro glycerine-
something"
Meanwhile the sidewalk was blocked
the street became impossible, women
screamed and rushed into shops, and
store-keeper underneath began to tie
bucket on the end Of long pole witt
which to pour water on the devilish in
vention. The crowd by this time
numbering more than thousand thu
two gentlemen moved away from thu
window and sat down. In few mo
ments there was hurried tap at tn
door, and there appeared man VIII
had been sent as delegate from tn
mass meeting outside.
II should like to know, gentlemen,
he said, what the facts are?"
"What facts?"
"Why, what there is peculiar abou
that cabbage out there?"
Nothing in the world was tn
soft reply, Except that it seems to b
surrounded by about thousand Of tn
biggest fools in town. Do anythin
else for you?"
The man reflected a moment, said b
Guessed mol" and retired. Before b
handed in his report, however, Captai
Shorts watch had dispersed the mo
and clubbed two hundred and eleve
separate persons for creating a di
t11rhance
The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1881-03-31

The way they start railway train
in Germany is thus desrcibed: When
all is ready, bell rings. Then an
other bell rings. Then the engine
whistles, or, rather, she toot-toot-
toots generally. Then the conductor
tells the station-master that all is
ready. Then the station-master looks
placidly around and says "So?" Then
the conductor shouts "Fertig?" inter-
negatively. Then the station-master
shouts ''Fertig!" positively. Then
the conductor blows horn; the en-
CINE whistles; the bell rings; the
other bell rings; the station-master
says "So?" the passengers swear in
various tongues; and the train starts.
That is, unless a belated fat man
comes. Then they do it all over again.
The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1881-03-31
How She Saved Money.

''For nearly six years my daughter
was most Of the time on a sick-bed
from kidney and other disorders pecu-
liar to women. We had used up our
savings on doctors and prescriptions
without any benefit. Our dominic
advised us to try Parker's Ginger
Tonic, and four bottles effected mar
velous cure. As it has been our only
medicine since, and dollars worth
has kept our family well over year
we have been able to lay by little
money again for rainy day. -
Poor Mans Wife. march
The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1881-03-31

THERE is man in Galveston named
Joseph W. Mcclellan who is everlast-
ingly talking, without saying any
thing. The other day Gilhooly met
him. II say, Mac, do you know why
you remind me of river?" Mac
thought there was compliment in
store for him, and guessed that it was
because something sparkling came out
of his mouth all the time. Not
quite" responded Gillhooly. "You
remind me Of river because your
mouth is bigger than your head"
The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1881-03-31
The Lion Malaria and Liver Pad

And Body and Foot Plasters
Will not only cure Malarial Fevers OF
every kind, but it's action upon the
Stomach, Liver and Kidneys in correct
ing their irregularities and in enabling
them to resume their proper functions
makes it remedy Of great value. Try
it. The whole combined treatment
for one dollar. For sale by Druggists.
The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1881-03-31
Facts Of Importance for all Regarding a
New Discovery.

The mortality statistics of this country show that
great proportion of deaths arise from Heart Disease
But aside from the fatality which attends It, the IN
convenience and suffering which even the first stages
bring make it necessary to take prompt measures for
times for curing diseases Of the Heart
India" which is accomplishing such wonderful re.
suits and attracting so much attention. This great
remedy ingredients specially designed for
tfons result of long and careful experiment.
it can safely asserted that when taken in time 1t
will cure in every Do you have Nightmare,
in side and breast Irreguiar ACTON
ping, Slow Circulation of the Blood? These are all
symptoms of Heart Disease. Those who are suffering
who have tried it do not need to be urged to do
so again, If your Druggist has not got 1t send one
dollar to our address and 1t will be
mailed to you. Sole Agents in America Lobdeu
Chemical Co., st. Louis, Mo.
The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1881-03-31
81 Don't Want A Plaster"

said sick man to a druggist, "can't t
you give me something to cure me?''
His symptoms were a lame back and
disordered urine and were sure indi-
cation of kidney disease. The drug
gist told him to use Kidney-Wort and
In short time it effected a complete
cure. Have you these symptoms
Then get box or bottle to-day-be-
fore you become incurable. It is the
cure; safe and sure.-Kmorville Re
DublacQ3a,
The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1881-03-31

The cold driving easterly rain
storms Of this season rarely fail to af-
fict nearly everybody with colds.
Use DIR. Bulls Cough Syrup-the sur
est and safest Cough remedy made.
Price 25 cents,
The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1881-03-31
Notice.

Arthur Metcalf resident of Crawford ID COUNTY
ington County, Missouri, James Metealf, t Tesl-
dent OF Dalias So SoWI9 Wv99mins Territory, and the
unknoWn heirs of Richard Metcalf, DECEASED
aud being the heirs at law of Arthur Metcalf
dec deceased % viii take notice that Handy Barton
Administrator de bonis non, with tne VIII an
nexed, of the estate Of Arthur Metea .s I @
did on the 2lst day of February 1871, me & MS pc
tition in the Probate Court of jackson county,
Ohio alleging that there is no personal estate o.
said decedent to pay certain egac1es, costs and
debts, named in said petti1n that daserbed ne d3ed
real estate, to-Wit: Southeast quarter OF IN me
northwest quarter also the ,sn the nortbWest
quarter Of the southeast quarter, lying and 9e,
ing in section %, township 8, range ls Jach@soIi @
County Ohio containing l2o acres more more OF OF eSs aid
premises, for the payments Of legaeies, deots eoE
and costs as aforesaid. The persons apoNe
named will take further notice, that tney IA re
been made parties defendants to said petluon 4,
and they are required to answer the saiiie oi VI
before the Slh day of April, 1881. ,DroN
Administrator de bonis non, WIN the VIII s'H
neXed.
BY DAVID DAVIS, Attorney.
Feb. "a, 188l-6w.
The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1881-03-31

WE don't ask you to try Denig's
Cough Balsam as an experiment, we
know, unless the patient is in the last
stages Of consumption, it will give i'm
mediate relief, and effect in a very
short time permanent cure.
31mar2w
The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1881-03-31
EzZ:yII'sKsXs'l| III
How Lost, How Restored !

Just published, a new edition of DR. CDLH Elk. Elk.
WEII IS CELEBRATED ESSAY on the radical care
Of Seminal l dnB6n9 PGHs
cal Incapacity Impedments to Marriage, etc; ais9'
CoNsUaPTIoN, EPILEPSY and FITS, tnoueea ny Sell
induIgence or sexual extravaganza, &e.
The celebrated author in this admlrable
nractce that the alarming consequences OF selabuse
NAV be radically cured pointing out mode Oh cure S
at once simDle certain, and efectual. by means OF
which every sufferer, matter what his condition
may be, may himself cheaply privately ana raa-
tealIy. !, :. .,,o ho,a, of evar,,
youth and every man in the land. ,,
Sent under seal in plain envelope 10 any aa,ress'
receipt OF six cts. or two postage STAMPS
THE ECULVERWE ELL MEDICAL CO.,
Post Office Box, 1886. Al Ann st.' ne" iofh
aprlfy
The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1881-03-31

A oRoss-EYED man who said he was
going to ''vote as he shot," had his
ballot carefully put among the scat
tering" by the judicious Inspector
Boston Commercial Bulletin.
The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1881-03-31

A GEORGIA boy who wrote to Santa
Claus for pony wa: wise ,1n enough pfdn t., to
his behine legs They know what a
mule is in Georgia.
The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1881-03-31

"BR1LL1ANr and impulsive people. /"
said lecturer on physiognomy, "have
black eyes, or if they don't have 'em
they're apt to get 'em, if they're too
| impulsive."
The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1881-03-31

WONDER what baby would think it
worth his while to go through the
wear and tear Of growing up, If he knew
that he were to become freight brake
man or a druggists clerk!
The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1881-03-31

KEEP your family well supplied
with Sellers Cough Syrup" use it IN
time, you will avert bronchial and
pulmonary affections. 25 cents.
The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1881-03-31

A GERMAN, lately married, says: I'D
vas yoost so easy as needle co.d walk
oud NIT camel's eye as to get der be-
hindt word NIT vomans."
The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1881-03-31

LITTLE boy, learning his Catechisma
from his mother: Q. What is a mans
chief end2 Il. His head.
The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1881-03-31

A NICE young man who wished to
make himself agreeable to Longfellow:
said: ''Sir, every night OF my life
fall asleep over one of your books.
The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1881-03-31

JONES thinks a man is fortunate
who has his will contested after death
only. He says his will has been con-
tested ever since he welded Mrs. J.
The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1881-03-31
MARIETTA AND CINCINNATI
R lrO a d.


THE TABLE-Takiag Effect Jan. 4, 1881.
The shortest quickest and best route to all points
east and southeast, west and northwest. No change
York, the popular line to ST. Louis Omaha and Kan
sas City.
TRAINS GOING EAST.
No, 1, Except Snnday.-Leayes Cincinnati 6 25 a.
lo S, Leaves Vienna o.; Greendeld A. Mqssul%an
Reipre 90, Parkersburgs 9 10, Marietta 20.
Chester RGsaaasS 81 q m
Chillicothe o. Hamden "a. Macarthur Station IS,
fea Marfetta so % Washington 90 a. m Baltimore ao
Philadelphia Is p. M, New York 4 o.
Biancester asp 49, arrives at Westboro s. lynch
burg a Hillsboro g. Leaves vienna ~ 81 Green
es o
ter 53 Greenfield So, Mnsselman 10 10, Chillico-
ths 10 = arres It f.
Marietta 50, Washingten s. p; M, Baltimore o.
TRAINS GOING WEST.
No, Except Sunday-Leaves Zaleskt 10 80 a. M
Macarthur junction 10 81 Hamden II o., ChilIicothe
o. Ii s. 81
Westboro &c. arrives at Blanchester 81 cincinnati
Is indianapolis 10 4s, Chicago 05 a. M, Louisviiie
a. w. 2, Daily-Leages MeArthur Junction y IS p;m
aaaaed Hamaee = Il & Banehester arrives at Cncin
natl 10 indianapolis 1919 Chicago % 2. M. LOUIS
vile u co. St. Louis 90 Kansas City 30 p. m oma
nJ No. g., paily.-Leayes Hamden 50 p. M, Chilli
a. M, Cincinnati 80 p. M, Louisville 90 m, St
Lqas 3 2 eiy 60 Snnefon %
Hamden ls Chillicothe %, Musselman 43, Green.
T. aFSs s p @ m j. st.
Kansas:City 7 p a. M, Omaha 10 is.
The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1881-03-31

A BACHELOR, according to the latest
definition, is man who has lost the
opportunity Of making a woman mis-
erable.
The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1881-03-31

THIS is the season Of the year when
venerable hens enter their second
childhood, and are broiled for spring
chickens
The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1881-03-31

The happiest results invariably at
tend the taking Of SELLERS Celebrated
Liver Pills" 25c. per box.
The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1881-03-31

IT is curious provision Of nature
by which the trees are made to go bare
during the cold weather.
The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1881-03-31
Notice..
March II, 1ss1-sw,

The firm of Braasen aad Nickel haYe this day dis
solved partnership. All parties knoFing
Indebted are requested to Immediately c;U al tfe
store or on L. O. Branson and settle.
'''A' - N BRANSON- g NICKEkhs
March II, Iss1-3w.
The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1881-03-31

IT don't take a very fast horse to
catch the epizootic.
The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1881-03-31
NAL

for Indigestion Dyspepsia, Constipation and all dis
eases arising from imperfect digestion delightful
strengthener for the debiitated sovereign remedy
ach It corrects not only the LIVER but the other
equally important corresponding organs, promotes
ONE proper mode of permanently improving the gen.
eral health. Each package makes over gallon g % q
must bear the label Of the Sole Agents, "Lobdell
Chemical Co."
Cheyenne transporter. [volume] (Darlington, Indian Terr.) 1879-1886, 1881-02-10
KANSAS ABROAD.
The international Exhibition Of e93.

The international Exhibition Of 1888.
Daily Capital
1t seems, from the New York pa
pers, that the managers of the proposed
United States international exhibition
in New York in 1888, are making pro-
gress. They have selected Inwood as
the best locality for the exhibition
grounds. 1t occupies $50 acres OH the
banks of the Harlem river, at the ex-
treme southern end of Manhattan Is
land.
The board of managers is composed
of leading citizens and business men of
New York, with a representation of
citizens of other states. Gov. Geo. n.
Crawford, one of the Kansas represen-
tatives, remains in New York and is
devoting his time to the business of the
exposition At meeting held on the
18th inst, the various committees re-
ported progress and showed that they
were making vigorous movements to-
wards perfecting arrangements to or
ganize an exhibition on larger scale
and more perfect in its details than
ever before held il the world. From
views which appear in the illustrated
newspapers it would seem that the site
selected for the exposition possesses un-
usual advantages and attractions.
The following, which we are per-
mitted to extract from a private letter
from Gov. Crawford, to a friend in this
city, shows that, though absent, his in
terest is unabated in all.that relates to
the honor and welfare of Kansas:
Cheyenne transporter. [volume] (Darlington, Indian Terr.) 1879-1886, 1881-02-10

not repress my tears at those tributes
to my state.
l suppose l cannot be with you at
the meeting of the legislature. Our
L. :. commission is called for Jan. 10,
1881, and suppose had better remain
for the meeting.
Your friend,
GEO. "A. CRAWFORD.
Cheyenne transporter. [volume] (Darlington, Indian Terr.) 1879-1886, 1881-02-10
The Partner for Life.

Many man has seen his choice for
partner in life in the humble girl
far beneath linn in the opinion of the
world, and although love and pride
might have struggled with him for
a while, yet pride triumphed, and he
sought one from the higher walks Of
life, In all the vicssitudes of social
existence, there is nothing capable of
inhicting more certain misery than is
sure to follow such a course. 1t dis
tracts the general harmony of our days,
mis-shapes Our ends, shortens the length
of life, lessons the statue of manhood,
and is contrary to the divine instruc-
tions of the Bible, for it declares where
love is there is peace, plenty and thrift
ners, Everything is sure to follow Il
happy union. Let not pride interfere
in this matter.
Cheyenne transporter. [volume] (Darlington, Indian Terr.) 1879-1886, 1881-02-10
New York CITY,
81 Broadway,
December IS, 1880.

Ny DEAR FRIEND: Yours came to
hand. Accept thanks. | have so
much state pride in my composition
that | feel stain on the state as
would u wound OF my own person.
Hence ! "iire up" when | find people
begging in the name of Kansas. Your
own explanation and that Of the gov
emor were good medicine" 1t may
be better for both races that some por-
ton of the African race shall come
north. The blessing or the burden
whichever it shall be-will thus be
distributed; and possibly field for
northern labor may be openedup in the
south. In this way public and politi-
cal benefits may result But | cannot
help thinking the negro would better be
protected in his own climate. | sup
pose all these things will adjust them
selves during the era OF prosperity and
harmony over which Gen. Garfield has
been called to preside.
| am glad to know that GOV St
Johns heart is with lis in all our eff
forts to keep the state in advance of
the other states III moral and intellectu-
i'll as well as in physical achievement.
Kansas is what she is, leading and no
longer bleeding Kansas, because of
her men rather than her sun and soil.
Discarding penny wise and pound
foolish" policy. she las been liberal in
appropriations in those departments
where appropriations bring the largest
dividends-of state pride and of NOR
al and intellectual triumph.
Kansas has been first in love of lib
erty, and in consequent fatality of sa-
crifce, as shown by the mortality rec
ords of the late war. She has been
first in her agricultural reports, and
per consequence, first in agriculture, in
proportion to population. Her state
printing office has given out the best
work of any state. Her historical so,
ciety has not been eQUaled in any age
of the world by any people Of equal age
and population. She SurpaSses all, OF
equal age and population in these great
educators-her schools. churches and
press-and the result is that she sur
passes all in attracting an immigration
of the better class. Her material pros
perity keeps pace with her moral and
intellectual.
hope she will keep right on in the
path so nobly chosen. Holding oul
own people to the highest standard, the
state becomes a model for all the rest
was exceedingly gratihed when the
governor was here to hear the compli
ments paid to Kansas by the speaker;
who introduced him; by Rev. Doctors
Cuyler, Fulton, and others. | could
Cheyenne transporter. [volume] (Darlington, Indian Terr.) 1879-1886, 1881-02-10
Time and Money.


Little Rock Gazette.
"Look aheah, Uncle Simon," said
young Clip, I'D like powerful well ter
hab dat money what yer is OWN ter
me-"
"What money!" inquired Simon,
with an air of feigned surprise.
"Lemme state de circumstance. Las
yeah, ies' arter / had cum ter Little
Rock frum down Gle ribber--Is yer
listenin'?"
81 hears yer talk"
Wall, | wants yer ter heah me
when | breathe. shortly arter l cum
heah, ez | tells yer, | was hired by yer
self ter do two munt's work, hard la
Dor by de sweat ob my brow and de
udder parts of my natral body. De
stimulated contrack said day ] war ter
'ceiye $40 fur the work. Arter de
work was finished / went down inter
Texas wild a white man and a drobe
OBJ mules widout habin' aXed We for de
money. When / come back yerself
wuz gone. Now, | mus hab de mon
ey, for a year hab passed, and sides
dat, Use gwine ter go out inter de
country an teach school, Gimme my
money an de intrust.'
"Now CLIP" said the old man, talk
ing off his hat and retlectively rubbing
his head. "I'll gin yer some struction
right heah in natral llosophy what
yer isn't likely ter forget fur some
time. De law Of Josefrus, de common
and de extraordinary law oh Englent
an de law ob Arkansaw say dat time
is money Hain't yer heard dat all
yer life? Ez a man of larnin' an a
school teacher. aint yer always heard
dat time is money!"
"Ias," answered Clip
WAL, aint yer had all de time dat
yer want? l amt neber grumbled
none, and now if | was ter pay yer,
conld sue yer fur haben ter give yer
double pay. What do de law say
Says de law, Greenlcaf, vol. /, chapter
%, vus Is: "When man do de wucl
for a nudder man and fails ter aY de
man fur de money and lets hit run on
fur Il year, it am elusive dat de man
furS de time ter de money, which in
Gle eye 90 Oe law IS QulNdleiV.. 30,
Clip, | hez paid yer accordm ter law,
case Is gin yer all de time whot Yer
wanted" "
"Uncle Simon, Use mighty glad fur
de 'struction, an now if yerll obleege
me wild de time ob day I'll leah yer"
The old man took out his watch
when Clip continued: Use titled, den
to all de time can get, is ?"
Vas said Simon
"All right" and he snatched the old
mans watch from its fastening, and
putting it into his pocket remarked
''De time is jest de same as money tel
me- Go on, ole man, and mine lesser
yer fall down, shut up like a knife an
cut yerself.
Cheyenne transporter. [volume] (Darlington, Indian Terr.) 1879-1886, 1881-02-10

James &. Fair gave 10000 in Christmas
presents to the various charitable asSocia-
tionS of san Francisco, and q check for
5000 to a goyerneSS in hi. family who
made Christmas her wedding day.
Cheyenne transporter. [volume] (Darlington, Indian Terr.) 1879-1886, 1881-02-10

These Bitters mot Intoxicating beverage a
Medicine of rcaR merit, axd pleasant the
For Sale OW az DrM0giStS. Price 81 90 per Bottle.
Daily Republican., 1881-12-08
Important Results.

A singular romance in real life has
lust occurred at Gardiner, New YORK.
A bout three weeks ago n young lady
of that place fell desperately In love
with a young man WI ON her father
dis!iked. Shortly afterwards she at.
tended an entertainment with the Tor
hidden lover, and when she got home
her father punished her severely with
a horsewhip, making some ugly'look-
ing bruises. The young woman's cries
atened her brother, and he made his
appearance on ths scene very sudden
ly and gave his father sound thrash
ing, The latter went ont and returned
with a shotgun. BY this time the
mother was up to see what was going
ON and she assisted her son to escape to
a neiphbor's house. The father pur-
sued, gun in hand, and fired one or two
shots at him, but without effect. The
son at oncs had his father arrested and
bound over to keep the peace. The Old
man forbade either the sou or daughter
to ever enter the house again. This 80
enraged the wife that she left, too, tax
ing with her half of the cash and per
sonal property. Now it turns out the
father has mysteriously disappeared
with few hundred dollars in money,
and neither he has been robbed and
murdered or has committed suicide is
not xnown. His farm has been seized
by creditors, and the members of what
was week ago happy family are
now at swords points with each other,
and all because "the course Of true love
does not run smooth