The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1881-09-15
An Editor Dining Ont.


An Editor Dining Out.
Quite a distinguished citizen and
one of the members of the corps edi-
torial made short excursion into the
country, where they reveled some
hours among the breezes and treeses,
and finally returned at four o'clock,
with appetites, it may be easily imag-
ined, nicely sharpened for the enjoy
ment of a good dinner After imbib-
ing glass Of wine-b -bitters, our friend
Of the scissors and quill was invited
by his companion to join him in a
quiet dinner at his own domicil.
Il have nothing NICE" said he, ''for
[ didn't think we should reach home
in time to dine; but [ reckon [ can
make up something that will answer
the demands Of hunger for the once" :"
"Oh, I'm not particular replied
the editor, anything will answer my
purpose. I'm one of those, you know,
whose wants are very easily supplied" !"
Shortening the way by easy and
familiar chat, they at last reached the
gentleman dwelling, and at the sum-
mons of a bell, a favorite female
servant appeared, her shining ebony
face wreathed gaily in smiles. Whis-
pering few words in her masters
ear, almost as soon as he had crossed
the threshold, he exclaimed
''You don't say so! what are they ?"
Now, the editor, though by no means
hard Of hearing, did not quite distinct
ly understand the reply, for the reason
that he did not wish to listen to what
appeared to be private colloquy. He
thought, however, that the remainder
of the conversation was about as fol-
! lows:
"a fine pair of ducks" said the
servant.
You don't say sou said the host.
"Well, now | am satisfied. Who
would have thought that"
go into the parlor," said he to his
guest; I'll join you there in about five
minutes"
The editorial gentleman quietly
wended his way alone to the parlor,
wondering in his own mind why such
unusual disturbance about the dinner
should be made, where everything was
generally conducted in the most sim
pie and unostentatious manner possi-
BILE; but, nevertheless, secretly felicita-
ting himself upon the fact that the
dinner he was to enjoy was far more
inviting than it had been represented.
Five, ten, fifteen minutes had elapsed,
and the host did not present himself;
he fumbled over the pictures and books
on the table, playing awhile with the
poodle dog which was taking nap
on the sofa, half whistled tune or
two, hummed the fraction of psalm,
and was finally found gazing on a
painting of Mary Magdalen to discov-
er new beauties, when his entertainer
made his appearance just exactly the
happiest looking man the editor had
ever stumbled upon.
Excuse my OBTAINING you," said he,
''but you heard what Betty said at the
door?"
"Eh, yes" replied the editor.
"A pair of 'em, by Jove!'
$50 | understood her to say"
"And a finer pair I never saw,
though l say it who should not; as
plump, as fair, as bright as 1 ever laid
my eyes on; come join me in drink y
Adjourning to the sideboard, they
filled their glasses and the editor gave:
Here's to themr'
"Goodl'' said the host; there's to
themr
The editor was slightly astonished,
for his friends way Of rejoicing over
the ducks was quite singular-he toss
ed off his wine, and commenced prom
enading the room, rubbing his hands,
chuckling, and occasionally giving
vent to guffaw.
"A pair-who'd have thought it,
and all doing so nicely too!' was his
exclamation.
How are you having them fxed?"
inquired his visitor.
"Oh, | leave that to the woman, of
course. I don't meddle with that
business"
But is a pity, considering they
are so very fine, that you havn't
another friend to dine with you
Pardon me, | forgot. l am COM
PEELED to ask you to go somewhere else
for your dinner"
ITO do what?"
'To dine somewhere else! You see, all
is in confusion; the servants are all
as busy as bees, it was so unexpected;
in fact, [ didn't think it would come
off for a week"
Come off-what do you mear2"
why, the affair Tp stairs.'
And what the devil is the affair
up stairs?,'
-"Why, I thought you heard what
the girl said at the door
so did-she said that you had a
fine pair of ducks for dinner"
Fine pair of what?''
"Qf ducksl'
"Fine devils! She told me that
while we had been absent my wife had
presented me with fine pair Of twins,
both boys!
The last we heard of the 2oo3 ed4=
tor, he was partaking ot SOUP -''soli-
tary and alone a restaurant.