Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1881-12-06
JOHNNY AND THE BABIES.

JOHNNY AND THE BABIES.
Babies amt big enuf to lick, or you
wud see me pitching into 'em, l can
tell you, for l don't like 'em, but wen
you luke at one, and see 'em so little,
you say now if / was to take off my cote
and give you good thrashin' you cudent
help yourself, so maybe you can't help
being nuisance too. That's wot say
wen our baby puts its gummy hands into
my face wen ime made to set and mind
him, but you jest wait till he gets as big
as me, so it would be fair fite, and then
see what lie do, that's all / spose |
like that little Teller, like ime tole to, but
wat he puts his gummy hands for in my
face wen kiss him,
no ware there is baby which is lots
older than ourn, but no morn haf so big.
and it can't work and tok, but sech
dresses as that baby wears wud make
yure head swim. 1t was in shop win
dow, and it is made of wax.
Mary that's the house maid. when she
frs cum to live with us, one day Uncle
Ned he was a playin' with the baby af-
ter lunchson, and he had the cork Of
ale bottle s,ickin' on the cork-screw, and
he was le,tin' baby put it in his mouth.
Masy she cum in while he was dom it,
and she see him pull it on, quick and she
ran into the kitchen as fast as she cud
and brot Uncle Ned tumbler on tray.
Tween you and me, don't believe that
girls got any thinker.
One day my father was readin some
thing out loud which he found in the
paper about "baby farmin' " and old CAT
fer Peters, which was there. herd till
father got done, and he said he went in
for a law to keep the squires from leasin'
their land to the farmers for sech vile
proposes, cos, for his part he didn't see
any difference between plan,in babies
and buryin' EN- like they were dead, and
he believed il was jest done to get nd OF
EN- cos how cud babies come up:
There was man and his wife and
their little baby and they lived by their
selves in the woods ten hundred thousand
miles from any house. The man he
hunted dees with gun, and the woman
stade at home to mind baby and cuke the
meat. On one ofile dark mite the man
hadn't cum home, and the woman she
knew he had got lost, and was killed by
Sabbsges, and ct by vile beest, and
she was afrade. Bime by, way in the
mite, she herd something Ike a h,el
chile, cryin' an cyin. outside in the
dark, sometimes on one side OF the house
and sometimes not, and she said it was
spirit which had cum for her baby, she |
sc, in the middle of the room and Rugged /
her baby, and was frightened NOSE to
deth. And the thing kept cryin' and
cryin' till her blood run cole, bnt baby |
wat asleep in her arms, poor thing. Al
last she heard noise at the window, and
she looked up and hollered, for she see
two crate eyes lukin in thru the glas,
like coles of fire well jest then there was
a gun, for it was u panther, and the man
had cum home and shot il. But when he
wen. in the house, his wife didn't know
him cos she had went mad, and she had
Rugged the baby so ti,e it was ded.
Two babies which is jus, alike is twins,
but Misses Jonsin she ,ole me an awful
crammer. for she said hern was twins,
witch amt so, COS saw en- and one is a
girl. Maybe the other is twin. bu,
. twins no good without mate lis like
a pair Of boots when one has been given
to the pOor-who wants the other: !
don't know how folks witch has twins
gets on, for there wudent be enuf things
in the house, for two babies to put IN
their mouths. Ny father says ba
bies putin things in their mouths is an
instinct. cos in a na,sheral state they
wud have to eat lots Of things wIch they
wud find or they wud starve, but ! think
they mite olmos, as well starve TO deth
as get Pizened.