The Brookhaven ledger. (Brookhaven, Miss.) 1875-1883, 1881-09-01
Oar lessfff.

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Excellent wash for the face-water.
at dinner q fowl is very good fare.
Friday is an unlucky day-fcr fish.
An affecting sight-a barrel of tiers.
A set of bad teeth, like a farm, has
many acres.
How much does q fool generally
weigh? A slmpleeton.
The boy who is we'll shingled by his
parent will shed water.
A serious drawback-a blister be-
tween your shoulders.
A civil engineer-one who gives a
tramp O free ride on u caboose.
The largest ant is the elephant, and
the worst uncle the carb,uncle.
Can any one IMPROVE his condition
by whining? If not, whine not?
A lady need not necessarily be nerN
vous or athletic to jump at an offer.
The letter q is like many men, 1t is
the first in everything, but always ends
in smoke.
The sun shines for all, while the
moon looks placidly down on Il few
spooney couples.
IT is better to feel your own interiors
ty than to feel the business department
of an educated mule.
Florence Percy, who wrote "Rock Me
to Sleep, is living with her third hus-
band, the two others having been sue
cessiully rocked.
I'm saddsst when / sing" said q
Sunday evening warbler. And SOS the
whole neighborhoodi" roared an uumus
steal voice in the street.
"James, did you divide your paper Of
chocolate with your little brother?'
Eyes, certainly, mama / ate the choc-
olate and gave him the motto-he is 60
fond of reading, you know"
Very nice and elegant are the paper
collars that You can nov buy with a
picture of George Washington III each
corner. Martha is supposed to be on
behind sewing on the button,
at declare mother" said O. pretty lit
tie girl in a pretty little way, ''tis toe
bad. You always send me to bed when
I am not sleepy, and you always make
me get up when I am sleepy"
Tommy, did you hear your mother
call you?' "Corse I did" "Then why
don't you go to her at once?" swell,
yer see she's nervous, and it would
shock her awful if | should go too suds
dent"
Among promiscuous rules for good
conduct while eating, one sPys: "NeVer
take bits out of your mouth with yOnr
hands" This is severe on the mule
who is allowed to go TO fodder with bits
in his mouth,
The only time in life when women
seem truly happy is when she calmly
sits down to attempt to trim a new bon
net with old trimmings. She seems to
be truly happy, but what a VesuVious
is at work in her heart.
A colored couple elegantly dressed
ana IN the bloom of youth, were pass
ing up Austin Avenue, when the man
was heard to say, miss Matildy john
sing, does yer trauspire like l does?
Il reckon sol sweats like a hog"
Nov, Susan, my boots. Do hurry
with them. l am sure I have called
for them a dozen times" "Yes'm; in a
minute. L heard you. and l thought,
to save you time and trouble, I'd but
ton them for you before you put them
on"
"WiII the coming man fy?" is the CO.
nundrnm that the Somervillo Journal
man is wrestling with, ana thinks it
will depend upon the nature of his pins
ions. We think it will depend more
upon whether the coming IN has
the poker.
4 sailor was recently before a magis-
tratc for beating his wife. when the
magistrate attempted to reach his heart
by asking him if he did not know thai
his wife vas the weaker vessel. I'll
she is she ought not to carry so much
sail" replied Jack.
A big black bear tried tohug a young
lady ont IN Idaho, and the insulted
damsel gouged out n of his eyes with
a psrasol, She knows the hug of a bean
too bruinous to the health, When a
MAI wants to hug an Idaho girl with
any safety he uses a pair of ice tongs.
The inmates of a boarding house in
West Fourteenth are nightly disturbed
by a ghost. He appears as a big fat
man, and then gradually dwindles in
stature until he finally dissolves into
nothingness. It is believed that he is
the spirit of n boarder who lived in tie
house for a number Of years.
Papa was at lis toilet, and his young
est daughter, aged sig, who had fonnd
her way into bis dressing room. was
watching the progress of his shining
razor with the keenest interest, Press
emily her eldest sister came in search
of her. urging. "you must come away,
May, while Papa is shaving 81 guess
not" retorted the little wit, quickly; II