The Owosso times. (Owosso, Mich.) 18??-1882, 1881-09-23
Wise and Otherwise.


"Gee Henna."
You will seldom find an attorney-at
law-he knows better.
The Kittatinny mountains are con
tinuation of the Catskill.
Vanity Fair says: The present styl,
of ladies evening dress is the low ant
behold style.
Charles Lamb remarked of one of his
critics: "The more l think of him, the
less think of him."
1t isn't because a woman is exactly
afraid of a cow that she runs away and
screams. 1t is because gored dresses
are not fashionable.
"After ALL" says the Elmira Free
Press, wiping its mouth on red-bor-
dered napkin, "the most popular green.
hacker is watermelon"
"Where are the nine2' sings Mr.
Sankey. Why, they're down East, get.
ting the stuffing knocked out of 'em.-
Chicago Tribune.
A merchant died suddenly just after
finishing letter. His clerk added, in
postscript; "Since writing the above
have died. Tuesday evening, 9TH in
stant."
"Oh, you are too self-conscious," said
Fogg to young man. self-consciousp'
exclaimed Adolescence; 81 am conscious
of nothing" "That's what said" re-
piled Fogg.
If a man these days has not got
enough money tolive at home comfort
ably, he can at least afford to sail over
the country forty miles an hour in an
express train.
The fellow up in Michigan who un-
dertook to run away with girl and
found himself running with three of
them is running yet. Michigan girls
love a good joke.-Iater Ocean.
Scene on theporch of a White Noun
tain hotel. Six-year-old-innocent-
mamma, why is Mrs. Ficklelove called
d grass widow? Mamma-"Because
Mr.. Ficklelove died of hay-fever, my
dear"
A Cincinnati paper complains that
"tbere is not even dew-drop" of mois-
ture. But what does that matter to a
Cincinnatian while "Old Grow" is cheap
and glucose lager is plentiful ?--Chicago
,ate,-Ocean.
A young lady was caressing Il pretty
spaniel and murmuring, 81 do love a
nice dogI' "Ah," sighed dandy,
standing near, 81 would were a dogw
'Never mind," retorted the young lady,
sharply; ''yeu'll grow!'
Professor Bell claims that he has
succeeded in inventing a machine that
will "locate bullet in the human
body" He needn't think that's any
thing new. Almost every man in Den
uer totes such an instrument.
When member, in the course of
long speech, called for glass of water,
member sitting near exclaimed soto
vOce to his neighbor: "This is all
contrary to the laws of mechanics-a
windmill running by water!'
"Yes, You May Kiss Me, but Don't
You Tell Pa" is the title of the latest
song. 1t was very evident that this
girl was not addressing a Chicago
young man. In the free and boundless
West the boys never tell pa.-Graphic.
A couple of lawyers engaged in
case were recently discussing the issue.
cat all events" said the younger and
more enthusiastic, "we have justice on
our side." To which the older and
warier replied: "Quite true; but what
we want is the chief justice on our
side"
The accurate editor made a mistake
of NINETY" points. Brother Medill
has reached the point in life when he
might well afford to ask, cam / with
the ninety and ninep" There is large
class of men who, when "the stuffin' is
knocked out" will not have much left.
Chicago Intey-Ocean.
Olive Logan began one of her lect-
ures recently with the remark, when
ever see pretty girl L want to clasp
her in my arms" $50 do we," shout
ed the boys in the gallery. For a mo-
ment Olive was nonplussed, but, re-
covering her self-possession, she replied,
"Well, boys, don't blame you."
A newspaper agent, being told by an
old lady that it was no use to sub
scribe for papers, as Mother Shipton
said the world was coming to an end
this year, said: "But won't you want
to read an account of the whole affair
as soon as it is over?" "That 1 WILL"
answered the old lady; and she sub
scribed.
An extract from the letter of a re-
cent emigrant-"Pm wurking on de
roads here at Saratogy, but don't in
tend to do it long. Shure Mike Null
hooley, who left home three years ago
come mkt Aister, has rich young lady
to drive him around the city wild a
beautiful span, and he sitting up be-
hind an his Arms folded loike a foine
gentleman entirely"
81 wish," said the farmers wife
to her husband and six boys, "that
some of you would shoot the yeller
cat" SO they all, when they happen.