The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-11-23
ANOTHER cRANK.u
A Lively Scene at Police IIendquar.

Police Headquarters for half an hour after
o'clock last night. So quiet, indeed, that
an air of drowsiness hung about the place,
and the ticking of the round faced clock on
the wall was audible in the most remote
part of the building. The fire burned and
sputtered softly, and now and then the
ringing of bell in the telephone room
broke upon the stiffness with musical
sweetness, a pleasant relief to the monot-
onous surroundings.
Suddenly there came the shuffling and
stumbling of feet from the hall without,
the door opened softly and in stalked what
appeared to be an apparition,a vision, as it
were, which startled the sleepy clerk and
his companion, Weeden, the police ambu-
lance driver.
Both sprang to their feet, aud as they did
so, the new conner, who seemed the prince
of tramps, walked with an attempt at dig
nifty to the centre of the room. His APP
pearance stamped him as veritable knight
of the turnpike. His raiment was that of
n graduate of Dublin University. A shiny,
seedy black coat was buttoned tightly
around his waspish waist, the ragged skirts
dangling affectionately about pair OF very
thin legs, encased in well-worn and very
much soiled trousers. On one foot was u
gaping shoe, on the other an aged boot, and
under his right arm the visitor carried n
shockingly faded umbrella. His face was
smirched and unshaven, his "sluggers +"
having the appearance ofgoing to seed and
around his grimy throat was an old stock
and high collar, his head gear being bat
tered hat, apparently fished out Of some
ash heap in the wearers travels
"Ah, ha! Good ovenin', gints," the
stranger said with mirth- provoking air.
81 have the homer av inthroduecin' mesel
t, h,y ;,' Hat not To-, Tnh
rick Mcclure, d. yez moind, of the De-
moralization Society, at New York, and
vice-presidint of the Anihilators' Lague,
nv the same place. Pm here to kill that
divil Gaytow, and be hivins I'll du ct eff
yez shows me to his prisince."
"Good God another crank" shouted the
clerk and Weeden simultaneously, and
quicker than it is written James Patrick
Mcclure found himself piled up indis-
criminately on the floor, with Wceden's
legs plated around him like whip. In
vain did the visitor struggle to escape. In
two minutes he was yanked through the
building, fired into cell and the bolt shot
against him.
"Lave me outer here" shouted the
stranger, hammering the bars with his UNI
brella. "Lave me outer here, say. want
to foind Gaytow, 1 does, and l intend to
chew his liver"
"Well, you won't if we know it,
shouted Weeden in triumph, and he fol-
lowed the clerk proudly back into the
Office, just as newspaper reporter entered
"Any news tonight, boys?" cheerily
chirruped the latter, throwing himself into
a chair.
"Well, 1 should smile, pard," cried
Weeden excitedly; we bagged crank
just now"
eyes, sir-ree," broke in the clerk; "a
tough one, who has just struck the city"
Instantly notebook was produced and
q reporters ears began to rise like fans on
country windmill, and Exciting facts
were jotted down as rapidly as they were
related. Then came request from tn,
! cleaner of news for permission to inter
',view the prisoner. But this was fatty re
/ fused. mo one can talk to him" said the
clerk, without an order from Capt. Yer
non. We dolt know how dangerous this
man may be, or what he has already
DONE"
Detective McElfresh walked in next, and
the story of the capture was repeated with
all its thrilling details, which :" Mac y
heard with euvious admiration. Turning
to the reporter he said: Lets go back
and pipe him off" and the two hurried out
to the cell.
The "crank (" glanced hideously at them
between the bars of his door as they ap.
preached, causing both to start and as he
gave vigorous poke ut them with his
umbrella they retreated. tho reporter
shouting, "Look out there, Mac, that thing
might go off," Pausing at u safe distance
| McElfrcsh surveyed the prisoner, and, after
\ n close scrutiny, said: "That's the worst
crank in town. / piped him to-day on tn,
Avenle, but lost him in crowd"
Capt Vernon had arrived when the tw'
returned to the office, and in their zeal to in
form him of the important arrest, WeedeI
and the clerk talked almost unintelligibly
and Vernon, after hearing the word cranl
uttered, dashed back to the cell. All til,
rest were at his heels, and, like themselves
he was struck with the dangerous look o
the prisoner. Tho latter grinned ant
whacked about with his umbrella wildly
and danced war dance about his cell
crashing his teeth and banging around n
though in state of frenzy.
"Why didn't you take that fellows UNI
brella away" asked Vernon of the clerk
sternly; "don't you know that he is liabl,
to cause damage with it2'
Vernon walked bravely toward the cell
unlocked the door, aud hauled the prisoner
out, brushing off the tramp's hat and vii
in his hurry and part Of his whiskers, re
vealing the boyish, laughing features o
young Fred Miller, the detectives son, t.
the amazed crowd whom he had SO very Of
1 fectively taken in by his frolicsome masquer
4 aiding 1t was full minute before any on
spoke, then all burst into hearty laugh
Detective McElfresh quietly slipping on
4 in order to escape explaining his rathe
awkward Identification of " the worst cranl
in town."