The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1881-07-15
VARIETIES.

| "A young lady in New York has appro
priately named her dog Penny, because il
was one sent to her.
| Properly referred. Neighbours pretty
daughter-"How much is this yard ?" ORA
pers son desperate spoons" on her, "Only
one kiss" Mp. D.-"I will take three yards
grandma will pay"
-"But you know pa" said the farmers
daughter when he spoke to her about the ad
dresses of his neighbours SON. "you know, pa
ma wants me to marry man of culture."-
$50 do /, my dear, so do / and there is nc
better culture in the country than agrcui
ture."
| "A young wife demonstrated with hel
husband, dissapated spendthrift, for his
conduct. "Love," said he, II am like The
prodigal son; i shall reform by and by" 81
will be like the prodigal son, too, she replied
"for will arise and go to my father"
"A citizen went into Norwich hardware
store, the other day, and inquired; "HoW
much do you ask for bath-tub for child p
"Three dollars and seventy-f1ve cents,' was
the reply. "W-h,e-wp' whistled the custo
mer Guess We'll have to keep on washing
the baby in the coal scuttle till prices come
| down"
| "A Danbury bootblack was in South
| Norwalk when the train went through there
on its way to Hartford with the nations mil
itary dignitaries. Odd you see General Sher
man ~ asked citizen this morning while
having shine "No; was he looking fol
me?" was the response. The citizen was
shocked.-DanJwy NcaCs.
He was q bachelor, had travelled extern
sivcly, and could speak any language, dead OIL
| alive; but when he returned home the othel
day, and talked to his sisters baby, and when
it cried and was pacified by its mother saying
odd his naughty Naughty uncle wuncle come
honey woney and scarey warey my little
putsey wutsey," he just learned over the back
| of the chair and wept.
81 would rather vote for a long cared
donkey than for you" said an independent
voter to q Democratic candidate the othel
| day. 80, come now" said the jovial wire
| puller, "you ought not to let family ties
| influence your vote to such an extent as that.
After the laughter of the crowd subsidized, il
which the Independent voter Joined heartily
| he remarked, 81 think as how touched ten
der chord that time"
A man with IAN idea" approached 6
| Partisan banker not long ago for funds tc
prosecute his scheme. "How much do you
need ?" asks the banker; about three hundred
and fifty, or four hundred thousand dollars. y
"That's little too much for me-" says the
banker complacently, "and as I should fee
sorry to think you had lost any of your val
liable time here is seventy-five cents fol
| you"
-"But why do you dislike Mr. S-?'
| said Mrs. Marrowfat to Julia. "He is rich
well connected and would make an excellent
husband" Cant help it: dislike him,
returned Julia doggedly. But whyf" per
sisted the old lady. Julia hesitated mo-
ment, and then, looking her mother squarely
in the eyes, said Because he commits
newspaper jokes to memory and repeats
them, and it makes me feel as if had Just re-
tuned from funeral"
| "A young German was once pressing his
suit, and in the midst his ardor questioned
the object of his choice as to her possible fl
nancial future. "Ihave heard" he said "that
your good father owns two large estates in
Silesia." "Yes," was the naive reply, land
he owns two more in Pomerania" The sutton
hestated moment as though to catch his
breath, and then falling ON his knees and
looking the young lady imploringly in the
face, he cried out: "And can you, my dar
ling, doubt my affection under such circum
| stances?"