West-Jersey pioneer., 1881-02-24
San Francisco.
A SHOW "BEAT. !"


''Do you want to engage my ''talent ?''
He poked his head in at the box office wln-
dow and peered eagerly past the manager
at pile of money the stars agent was pack
ing away into a sack. He was not tramp,
for his face was shiny and odorous from
ten cent shave, and though his coat was
buttoned straight across his throat it showed
no evidence of hay y-bunking.
"What's your line ?" asked the manager,
sharply.
''Line, man, line! lines, if you please.
Why, if was long enough | suspect jay
Gould would monopolize me for telegraph
company and stretch me around the world,
I've got so many lines"
swell, what's your specialtyp"
Especially! Do you take me for a one
part man? No, indeed, Pm great at any
thing. | amt given much to blushing, but
suspect if any one told me | was half as
smart as know | am, I'd blush till my
hair d turn red. Why, Pm hog-sticker
from Chicago, am"
'What do l want with a hog sticker?"
asked the manager with surprise.
"Certanly not, my friend. l only meant
fguratively; metaphoricaily, if / may so
say. Tell you I'm land agent from Texas,
and l came here to scoop the State. Say,
do you want any song and dance men?"
''No. Got more'n can use now"
D,,f hot inf huS
ness Do you know where l come from?
came from Ohio! From where the white
winged messenger of commerce grace the
sweet-scented Cuyahoga, Gaifield's district.
s'Do YOU think this is Government
office p" yelled the manager. 81 don't want
no politician here"
"Who said you did9'' I'm no politician,
if did come from Ohio. belong to the
perfesh and want an engagement 9T
sTalk business then. What can you do
and what are your terms?"
Terms! Why, I'm cheaper'n five cent
beer with free shrimps thrown in. You
don't want treasurer now, do yeu?'
''No, DON'T
'.Thought likely Well, I'll tell you; Pm
a wolfkller from Michigan, nigh Kalama-
zoo, and if you need party to fire bad men
out of the gallery, why take me"
'Don't want no such man."
Thought not. If you want an advance
agent to 60 aheadof your troupe on the road,
and make arrangements for meals, consider
me engaged, for I'm pie-biter from mid
die Missouri, and when it comes to meals
'sGot full supply of advance agents"
"Well, | declare for it! But that amt
my best holt, after all. What l come all
the way to San Francisco for is this; Pm
an infidel from Illinois, knew Bob Ingersoll
before he lectured, and I'm ready to stand
off deadheads Am engaged?'
"No, you amt engaged, and if you don't
get away from in front of the box office III
have you fred
"Speak gently to the erriDg," said the
disengaged professional, softly. 81 haven't
turned myself loose yet. You don't know
who am. Why, Pm poet from Boston,
and want to take charge of your fence
printing I'm world beater in that line,
and make no mistake. If Forepaugh knew
where l was, suspect he'd hire train to
capture me-
The manager laid down large club he
had in his hand and picked up instead a
trusty revolver, as he said: "Young man,
1 don't think you can be of any service to
me, and you'd better git'
"Assuredly; but you don't happen to
have quarter about your clothes you could
lend me?"
ssNo, DON'T" and the manager cooked
the revolver.
swell, say; sherry me into the show, viii
you?"
The manager wearily laid down the revol
yer. and ordered the doorkeeper to pass il
the stranger who remarked. as he slid into
the show, Thought I'd fetch something
Pm foreigner from San Jose, and never
get entirely left