Mexico weekly ledger. (Mexico, Mo.) 1855-1956, 1881-03-03
A SeriOus Accident,

A Serious Accident.
"Why, what ls' the matter, my
dear ?' cried Mrs. Spoopendyke.
81 fell down and killed myself"
moaned Mr.. Spoopendyke.
s'How, where?" asked Mrs. Spoop-
endyke, bustling around him, all
nervousness. ''How did you do it?"
''Slipped on the ice and broke my
arm from head to foot" sighed Mr..
Spoopendyke, family.
"Great gracipus!" calculated Mrs.
Spoopendyke. "Whereabouts II
Where did it happen!"
"Out doors, dod gast it! Where
dye s'pose did it? Think l brought
the ice in the house and then laid
down on it? Oh, dear! I'll never get
my clothes off again. I've got to sit
here and die," and Mr.. Spoopendyke
closed his eyes with resignation.
"I'll help you off with your hat and
overcoat," said Mrs. Spoopendyke
tenderly. "Let me help YOU
"Be very careful about taking off
my hat," said Mr.. Spoopendyke,
rousing up. ''Take it off easy, or
you'll hurt my elbow. Pull the left
arm of my overcoat down, SO it will
slip off-what ye doing? Trying to
skin me? That sleeves full of broken
bones, l tell ye. Now help me into
chair. 1 knew must 60 sometime,
but never expected to die SO sud-
denly as this," and Mr.. Spoopendyke
lifted his sprained arm and dropped
it again to see if there was any AMI
nation left in his system.
Cant l do something for you,
dear:'' asked Mrs. Spoopendyke,
with fearful eyes.
"If you could sing a hymn without
starting up the cats, it might make
my last minutes more PEACEFUL" re-
piled Mr.. Spoopendyke putting his
feet on chair, and composing HIM
self for dissolution.
YOU'D better let me attend to
your arm,'' recommended Mrs.
Spoopendyke. ''If it is badly
sprained, you ought to have some
thing on it,
"Didn't tell ye it was broke :
Just got curiosity to see 1t, haven't
We? Can't wait for the post mortem,
can ye? Go ahead. Do what you
. please. In little while I'll be be-
yond pain. Just take it and do what
, you like with it," AMI MIR. Spoopen.
dyke stuck the manned out straight,
: and waved it around like ham.
. eff you'd let me rotate it little,
/ and then bind it up with arnica, you
, will be all right in an hour cooeo
, Mrs Spoopendyke affectionately.
s'Rotate it then," murmured Mr.
Spoopendyke, Il don't suppose i
will make much difference to my es
/ tate. Take it down in the kitchen ant
e rotate it. You might-hold on, dot
( gast it! What dye think l am,
0 pump? Got an idea Tm a clock
Let go that arm, will ye?' and Mr.
e Spoobendyke pranced around tn
e room. "Oh! you're surgeon, yo'
s are. All you want is bucksaw AM
: u broken balustrade to be medica
: college. Going to pull 1t out by tn
f roots? S'pose that's tooth? 1t isn't
e it's an arm, and it's bursted like
J. torpedo!' and Mr.. Spoopendyke
e who had been brandishing his iniure'
: member, began to stroke his ehoulde
!. and sympathize with himself.
e "Let me bathe it with arnica,
J. said Mrs. Spoopendyke. ''Thats tn
1t best thing in the world. Just let m
e turn up your shirtsleeve and I'll fl
it in a minute.
, "Very good" said Mr.. Spooper
A. dyke. II don't suppose it will d
a any harm to hurry matters. Is m
dress suit brushed? have got shi
with a button on the back to
'h buried in? Have got pair of socl
5 that my immortal soul won't shin
r' through the toes Of? Cause if
T. T. haven't, you'd better use some of yo'
le measly arnica on my clothes. If "
e {, think I'm going into the tomb
~ - covered with grease and my shi
nc tapping around on me like clothe
a. Ss line, you're mistaken, that's all
" and Mr.. Spoopendyke eyed his wi
=" gloon,ly, while she prepared to lea
~ his sprained shoulder. "Will you p
~ me in a casket?' he moaned, as s
. began operations.
,1s 'e "Yes, DEAR" replied Mrs. Spoo
no M endyke.
no u "And you'll put on silver pl'
~ ne with my name and age, and get f
H Hls' flowers? You don't want many.
shan't miss 'em if there amt mt
's' than six. Will you attend to it!''
Yes answered Mrs. Spoop
dyke. "I'll see that you have lots
flowers and II big fun.
Il don't want big funeral. s
pose I'm being cut off in the mi
of my usefulness, just because fun
ais are cheap? Have you got cl
M handkerchief to put in my poe
n.. when I'm dead?"
the Certainly, DEAR" replied \
arc Spoopendyke, and having thoroue
bathed the arm, she bandaged it C;
and fully. Don't you feel better!'
"Perhaps if it were amputated
ried time 1 might get well," rejoined
Spoopendyke, hitching his arm aro
to see if he could feel pain S
ave where. "What kind of a cravat
w." / got to wear in case of-in the e.
w." Of the worst:' and Mr.. SpooI
the dyke approached the climax of
YOU question as becomes man
reak shirks from the inevitable.
"The one you've got on will
/, won't it:'' inquired Mrs. Spoo
dyke.
ould "No, it won't, either. Is tha,
mar I've got! Expect I'm going to
buried among strangers in
gasted necktie that won't hold
nily. gether four days longer? Calc'
ard that I'm going to the promised
BE as though was hunting for
oked Wan, me to prowl around among
ou!" other late lamented as though l
on busted up in business: Think
a measly tramp!" and MIR. Sp00