The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1881-07-10
CURR.NT HUMOR.


A blacksmith is always on the strike
when he is not blowing Earl Marble.
An unhealthy site was chosen for the
white house to give the vice.president a
chance'-Puck.
There's one result Of the Albany deadlock.
1t has shown that there is greater obstinancy
than mule.
What Ia in name? A collection of ten
bar rooms and three boer shops called II
w,teri & plsce.-Boston Transcript.
If the proof Of the pudding is the eating.
where shall we look for tho proof of prin-
ter's pi?:-Philadelpha Bulletin.
A blow from tho leg of an ostrich will
break mans leg An ostrich feather will
break mans pocket book.-Lowell Citi-
zen.
Il don't see how this is,' says Conkling;
'Bsmark resigned fifteen or twtniy tim es
Rnd his country wasn't mean enough to ac-
cept.'
A poet asks, What is parting?' Parting
is done with II comb and brush, and the bar.
Der neves places it where you want it.
Lowell Citizen.
They hate the Celestials SO in San Fran,
cisco that when u 'Friscan advertises for
negro coacbmsn, no adds: mo Chinese
need apply"
Only sixtysix failures were reported last
week. not including the failures of the New
York and New Hampshire legislature to
elect senators. Lowell Courier.
"There is always an ass in every leeisla,
ture," remarked Nh Albany paper. An Ass
Well, that is letting the forty or fifty other
fellows down mighty s,.-Delroit Free
Press
Boyton, the swimmer, says he,can keep the
cramps away by strong effort of will. Ii
he'll let us select the cucumber for him to
eat, we'll bet seven TO one against the effort
of will.
The witness said that tho lsundryman,
very much ruill,d, collared the boy and gave
him u Gull, because no caught him in the act
of stocking himself with the contents of the
drawers.
Toe mesnest man on record is in New
York. He invited night Waterman to
take drink, and slyly put 10 it n powerful
stimnlant tina. would keep the man awake
all night.
Why shouldn't all babies DO given the
right TO choose their pamesy Girl babies
have the privilege after time, but give
u boy q name and it hangs 10 him till death.
-BostJn Transcript.
The statement, of Kentucky journals,
falling heir TO $3.50 600, was canard. He
merely started il TO brace up his credit at the
gin mill till his luck at poker changed and he
was aole to pay cash.
Captain Il ids has been engaged by the
Mexican government to improve the har-
bors OF Vera Cruz and Tampico. The high.
est Improvement that could DO made would
BIO Kidding them of yellow fever.
TIA man has pile of bosrds, md the
wind blows 1t over, why is that wind like y
cat yowling under his window at high, [!
When you give it up we'll tell you it rs be-
cause. 1t dsturbs his slumber.--Wit and
| Wisdom.
Headlines of Hartford exchange. "a
Friendly Scuile Between Two Young
Men-Ouo OF Them Stabbed to Death /"
Wonder what they doto man in Hartford
when they scuillle with him in an un--
friendly spirit.
mo, sir" said the country member, al
never would have any thing to do with that
man Sessions (In lower, confidential
tnt). II never suspected no had an,
money to pay for votes. How can got in>
troducedf'
Not many tourists 20 TO she'd tears on the
tomb Of Washington, and the managers Of
Monnt Vernon propose to open deer park
rs an attraction. If ,hpt won't work,a bur-
lesque troupe and a beer garden might be
tried.-Philadelphia News.
Mexico Is indignant over the proposed in
crease Of quarantine a. New Orleans. This
Is unreasonable. Why should Mexico dc.
mand free trade on her yellow fever when
France has 10 p.y enormous duties on her
champagne and silk.s-Puck.
Itwould doubtless be impossible 10 induce
PArson Newman and Bob logersoll 10 fight
. duel with broadswords; but sucha duel
wouldn't DO much fun anyway, rs tho only
two persons who would care which von
would DO Newman and Bob.
The sultan Of Zanzibar carries 400 trunks
when no travels. HI evidently wants the
world TO think he 10 a burles que troupe
Boston Post. Nonsensel What does n
burletque troupe want with 400 trunks when
the entire wardrobe could DO carried In n
sstch' lS-Philadelphis News. Why, they've
got to transport their hair and pumpness
and compilations, haven't they 9-Bos,on
Post.
j NJ. Zola, who Is greatly given TO discu.s
Ing the amount he received IRON his novel;,
remarked the other evening: II think loay
safely call myself successful take 'L'As.
. sommoir' for instauce, every line brought
} mo In I've franco al the very least" "Fiys
J france !" said one Of the COMPANY "thsi
} b peor pay. II can't mako 100 600 Frame