The Manchester journal. [volume] (Manchester, Vt.) 1861-current, 1881-09-01
Ghisilrs.

asfalit siiracs4re
We woman shoaid borrow ths has
t,As,s q asaal,ss. because Il "a no, Fe.ol
iof tnas 10 lie loan
Iirp@llgn yeuns man calls his swsc
.easi ',lisnos. laosuss vhen he want
e. taHs i,sf he eires ''ophseai
The fasn xhols sntiens iof sonsihinf
f. turn 81 cas- ls sooor asoJated by pot
sing glaze ~ water an3sf iopr'' hosf
The tree ~sy foe soman "a drive !
hSil 10 10 aim iale lslov sqasre ., hsf thumb
Thea shall a. least nsoid hitting hei
iiRmh
Tls bsnt uos sli On ihe garden fences
End sesp becAase yegs.s,ioa has got 300
e. sbsSa Coz them 10 damage Il No
rf,sslsY ssYs
Jonsp ihluks man is fortunate Who
o.. has pill contested after death oDly.
n, ass bis wlil has boea contested ever
siaoe 10 welded Mrs Jones
sotDe 81 the girls Of the period are
psfins ,heir hair on the side They do
thi. l.ecAase they do not wish TO look like
sofi yonng m"n Who part their hair 10 the
middle
ia Ne~ Englsnd girl goes TO Mime
sois 10 teach school some fellow comes
s'oag and marries her. aud breaks mp the
piale educational scheme Of the district
II is ssid that kerosene will remove
tlAihs from furniture. I, has also been
lp0wn 10 remove the furniture, stains and
al. with the stove and servant girl
tltos In ofieptimes.
When New Jersey editor is requested
~ his wife TO stop at the dry goods store
nn his way home and purchase spool OF
enll-colored cotton. he is obliged 10 first
csll al bank TO ascertain the color Of gold
Ia one Of his verses, Oscar Wilde. the
aesthetic poet, alludes 10 the "barren
harmony Of ankissed Kisses. An nnkissed
lies probably il the barrenest thing with
ia the range Of human experience.
A chap being asked to explain the
parade, Of how il was possible for lazy
maa 20 attain so much education, answered;
! didn't attain H. I-iust- heard--it--
here aud there, and was too lazy to
inrgei it,
Said the anctioneer: Come, now,
ladies' aud gentlemen. these goods are for
sale VIII somebody give me bidY Any
thing, ladies and gentlemen. All / want
Is ala offer Alas, murmured an elderly
woman 10 the crowd. that's what I've been
signing for all my life,
Why did General Washington cross
the Delaware on the ice during the STERN
81 an awful night? asked q teacher OF her
,oung class In history l reckon, piped
small voice in answer IL was because he
wanted TO get on the other side.
He hid played cards: A butchers
hoy carrying tray on his shoulders acct [
dcntally struck il against lady's head and
knocked her hat off The duce take the
'my cried the lady, in passion Madam
said the boy gravely, the deuce cant take
the tray"
OLD Mr. and Mrs. Smaller are looking
at the comet from their chamber window.
No, Mullie. no. that cannot be the same
come, Of lsi3, the appendage is so very
much larger But, my dear Horace, the
comet was younger then. They retired in
silence.
--Nasada is so barren that the people
there are growing mp as sharp
as Connecticut Yankees. A citizen re.
equity sold garter snake TO British
tourist for fifty cents, solemnly assuring
him thai it was speckled trout.
The name OF the town Of Red Rose,
Ark. was first called Tulip Then il
Was changed 10 'Smithville;' then to
Hyde City, then TO "Pokerville;' then
10 Bun Corners. and finally TO Red Rose.
Next year IL will smell rs sweet by some
other name.
"A French chemist says the much
abused cucumber is more healthy than the
banana And so il is. A cucumber may
be kpoeked around three or four days, and
1t will come mp smiling for business;
whereas the banana must be eaten almost
as soon as purchased. or II is unfit for duty
1
and soon become hopelessly III.
I'D laugh il I should fall and break
my neck, iestingly remarked James Ma
loney Of nppan, y. Y, while in the act
OF descending from tall pear tree The
nctt moment he lay upon the ground with
lis neck broken. But he didn't laugh
What Internal liars some men are
some wicked fellow got into Yer.
mon, church yestry just after the deacons
aud The clergyman had held q meeting
there. Aud he left four beer bottles and
a ~hiskey flask, all empty. and two packs
81 cards under the table. And when the
sewing society met there an hour later and
discovered the articles, didn't things just
humi
Emile Girarlin. the great French
journalist used TO rise at 4 O'Clock every
morning And now he ia dead iss
sal, sad lesson. but let us not forget it,
warning. Let us but lay our hands on
our respective hearts and say that rather
than initiate his fault. IL !, is necessary for
MS TO be up at a m. wen 81, mp to it, To
arise a, it--ah, THIS is too too, it is too
utterly too
Suggestion for Mr.. Gladstone: The
attaches Of thus paper have general in .