The Hickman courier. [volume] (Hickman, Ky.) 1859-current, 1881-09-23
MOURNING CUSTOMS.
Ihc Cost and Worry Imposed by Mod
ern Expressions of Grief.

ern Expressions OF Grtef.
1t appears that our present mourning
customs impose upon us a great amount
of cost and worry, at an especially mop
perfume period. And from this the IN
quirer proceeds to ask what is the rea-
son why the unwelcome expense and
bother are incurred? Why affiiction of
mind more than that of body should be
proclaimed by attire T? why..it should be
more important to associate particular
color with grief than with rheumatism,
biioasness, influenza, or any other ILL
ness? Natures, of course, differ widely,
and there are some who probably IN
consequence of having been accustomed
from their earliest years to regard black
as the emblem of death and sadness)
find some amount Of relief and comfort
III wearing mourning when friend dizzs<
and feel a satisfaction IN marking the
especial event with especial garments.
But all are not of this way of thinking,
ana there are many whose inclinations
are Just the reverse. The sort of self
consciousness and strangeness of feeling
which usually accompany brand-new
clothes are distasteful to n time of
trouble, and they wish to go about In
whatever they are III the habit of wear
ing. without any fuss or alteration. Sor-
row may be none the less true and deep
because 1t shrinks from ostentatlous pa
rade-from wearing the heart on the
sleeve, for DAVIS to peck at; 1t may feel
that the inadequacy of outward signs to
give 1t expression makes any attempt at
doing so a mere mockery, and may pre-
fer to conceal itself as far rs possible
under its wonted exterior. How can
real grief be represented fttingly by
Grape and hat-bands? And If no real
grief exist, then the whole affair Is moth
ing but miserable exhibition of hum
bug and hypocrisy-an appeal to the
world for sympathy and commlseration
upon false pretences. What sort
OF SORROW Is felt by relatives
vho say: "Oh! we must put
the children into mourning for Uncle
SO-and-so-he's left us something IN his
Will :" or else ~ shan't trouble
about black for cousin Such-an-one--
he's left me nothing" as the case may
be ii would be surely more honest
for such pretended mourners as these to
assume signs of rejoicing or woe, ac-
c0rding as they do or do not find them
selves the possessors of fresh riches.
Even when sorrow Is really felt, its in
tensity and duration will not be
alike III all cases where the relationship
IS the same, because no two husbands
and wives, brothers and sisters, or
other relations, viii love one another in
exactly the same degree, and on this
account there must necessarily be some
thing foolish and unreal in the practice
which assumes that the depth and ex-
tent of regret may be reckOned on ac-
cording to nearness of kin. Is grief to
be bound bv hard -and-fast rule? ? to be
made to conform to so many inches of
black border on cards and writing
paper? to be sent to the mitigated ;"
and unmitigated departments of
mourning warehouses in order TO ex-
| press itself correctly IN graduated 49,
! of blaciS. gray -sSs@r AOze-
of shopplness and hollowness is AIN. ~
| inseparable from the wearing of mourn
ing, according 10 the present custom !;
vet there is that about death which is
apt to put human nature essentially out
of tune for all that is artificial and
sham.
Again, how can any one who believes
in the resurrection reconcile 1t with his
conscience to make everything con-
nected with death dark, gloomy and
melancholy? If he has that sure con-
fidence which he processes to have as to
the departed being safe from all future
dangers, and having passed to state of
bliss far beyond what is attainable upon
earth, why does he not rejoice In their
happiness Does he think them out of
reach of sympathy because ont of sight !?
Or is he too selfish to let the thought
of their gain outweigh that of his own
loss d?