The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1881-04-29
He Is Mad.

A fine-haired, pink cambria cuss, with the
rich Castillian name of McCaferty, has been
over the Union Pacific railroad recently and
he don't find things IS nice as he has been
accustomed to. He pours out his woes IN
theOmaha Bee,ss the employees Of the road
are not gentlemen, eat with their hats on
and he is very mad, indeed.
Probably Mr.. McCaffsrty was never away
from home before. No doubt his mother
don't know he is out. d.. ...., ..
He says that "none but gentleman should
have charge of passenger trains" That is
true in soma cases. If the travelling public
averaged up as we'll as We do when we trav-
ell, then none but gentlemen should have
charge of passenger trains, but when the COM
pany kindly offers to ship car load OF hogs,
|! in q Pullman car, there ought to be Texas
drover with prod pole to take charge OF
It. g'.
The Count MeCsfFerty don't want to
| sit as the table with . conductor who eats
with his hat on. Well, ding bust 1t, the con-
ductors didn't use to. eat with their hats On
until the tourists got to stealing the hats OF
the train men and the latter had to protect
themselves some way. .:.
A conductor isn't able TO buy plug hal
every trip and then have it stolen by asnoez
er from New Jersey. Of course not. Their
salaries are not large enough.
!. We are acquainted with many OF the EN-
ployes of this road, and they are gentlemen
II there Is an employee on the road who
isn't gentleman and the Duke de McCsher
ty will let us know who it is, we'll dscharg
him. We don't care ifit is the President
the road.
There are many men who travel and VIII
are like Mr.. McCaferty. They don't hav
, much at home and when they travel the.
want to make up for the starvation they VII
have to endure when they get back. eli. .'.
Asa rule, when man wants the porter ;
come and tuck him into bed every night an
, fan him and lull him to sleep with som
3 plaintive melody, you can bet )et mar, ,whe
he Is at home, sleeps in q hsymow with
8 cellar door over him.
n II he complains about the food sndsweal
= at the walters, IL Is safe to say that when
: Is clustered around his own festai board
e fills himself up with baled hay and br'
D mash and wipes his nose on the table clot
II You ought to see rs when We travel. ''
e We are wreated In smiles all thetime,
IS matter what happens. We buy eyerythi'
. that the news agent has to sell. green apple
y worms and everything else, and never repf'
= as some do. We break forth into melodio
b song sometimes, and then the people 90 fc
II ward into the smoking car or throw theI
e selves from the moving train.
,lI It is always best to be clipper and g
II when YOU travel. If fellow-passene
snores loudly and disturbs you, 60 and ba
t him across the snoot with valise, laughi
ic merrily all the time. Don't murmur .
10 complain and make everybody wretched
a unhappy, hor rush msdly into print, but
to and soak the head and reduce the swelli
50 and have some degree Of style.
he That's the safest way to do. DOM g
be yourself dead away, as Stewar:'s body d
he but keep still and see how other people
or have, and try to lesrn all you can, so Il
of some day you will have the requisite abil
ne TO whack bull team at thirty dollars
to month. ----