Smyrna times., 1881-08-10

GEORGE Francis Train writes as many as
sixp postal cards per day to Guiteau. That's
right, George. Soc ct tuem.
The new comet has forked tail and is
heading this way. Don't neglect to pay
your bills as soon as presented. You may
never have another chance.
A Philadelphia man who recently be- |
came the father of a strong-lunged young
ster, says he don't need Prof Bells cleo
trio balance to locate the bawl.
John Howard Payne wrote "There is
no place like home" one warm summer
night after spending an hour fighting
mosquitoes at a watering place hotel.
| BOrax will drive away reaches 1t
should be pressed into hard humps and
thrown with great force. Whenever a |
lump strikes near roach he will run.
Marriage is little game in which only
two take a ahand.-BostOn Post And there
is no telling beforehand whether diamonds.
hearts. spades or clubs are to be trumps.
At the last meeting of the coal men the
weather was so hot that they adjourned to
an icehOuse, and after a long discussion
concluded not to raise the price Just vet.
The wrong men always get rich. 1t is
the fellow who has no money who is al
ways telling you how much good he would
do with it if he had dit.-BurIingtOn Ha,Uk-
eye.
Hartmann, the Nihilist, says he intends
to return to Russia with his comrades as
soon as circumstances will permit. Let's
start subscription to pay their passage
right away.
Scientists have discovered that malaria
can be introduced into the system by a
hypodermic injector filled with stagnant
water, No fashionable family should be
without it.
Barnum, the Snowman, is reported to be
displaying signs of scftening of the brain.
For some months he has shown more de-
sire to secure real curiosities than to in
vent humbugs.
1t could not have been Patrick Henry
who said: 9 / am not Virgipian am an
American" for Patrick Henry had fifteen
/. children. Americans don't average more
I than two or three.
Some of the Atlantic City hotels are
s obliged to pay S. day for the drinking
e water used by the guests, and the st.
8 Louis and Chicago papers think it a fear
full waste of money.
n Ella Wheeler, in poem, says: Mann
r ma will not leave her home" 1t is evil
h dent that Elias mamma wants the neigh
bors to think she is spending the summer
at watering place.
Il Parents cannot Influence their children
# much on political questions. Mr.. Tibbles
the Journalist who married Bright Eyes
the Ponca maiden, is Stalwart but his
. children will be Halfbreeds.
Elephant" is the name of new town
h in Colorado. There is great curiosity tC
: see it.-BOston Post. 1t is so called be-
> cause it contains one trunk and tale-o
% what great city it is going to be,
:. Fall River company will try electine
= a man with two wooden legs as treasurer
)" All their former treasurers could run fastel
than the police officers when the tim,
10 came for change of residence.
- From all parts of the country come re
ports of assaults on unprotected ladies
= Give the pistols to the women and teacl
- - them how to use them. That would be
= = hip-poeket reform worth talking about,
es The number of idiots and imbecile per
sons in this country is estimated at abou
one in every 1000 of the general popula
he ton. Some are in asylums, some are care
ng for by their families and good many ar
is working on newspapers. '''
nh A Niagara Falls editor announces tina
rs Lorne has started on ''tare" through hi
as provinces. The editor of course mean
li- tour" but Lorne sent Louise copy {
go the paper all the same. That Ought t
,d. fetch her if anything will
ct -.
Some eranks are howling because Gu
:. teau is banished to solitary confnemeI
80 before his trial. They may be right, an
,;u in order to be on the safe side, the author
tiles should hiring on Sitting Bull and pr
him in the same cell for company. t.|
III, 1t was feared that moving machine
Ia would decrease the demand for harve
in hands, but experience has proved thi
1st they do not. On the contrary the deman
ter is livelier than ever, and besides tina
ng there is boom in the undertaking bus
me ness. lGst ,af aue i-s.b eid jso4 .dlaa'
vas t.a. .,s,,fle. .,.ts -sa .Fy.., ,,.s-.
his II is strange but true that when o M
led tronly lady almost as big as Barnum's 4
eat woman, enters crowded street car I'll
The man to get up and offer her his seat
ted always some little bit of a ehapw coul
hat balance himself comfortably on a hitchiT
- post. aa qlda sa
do THE WATERING PLACE PINK.--A Sc