davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Northern Pacific farmer. [volume] (Wadena, Minn.) 1878-1885, 1881-04-07
Chat About the Women.

man in a neighboring city calls his wife
Roe. because she's a little dear.
4 bare announcement-th2t which the
nurse carries to an anxious husband.
It is very mean to ask man whose wife
is eh7ew il it is hot enough for him, or il
it scold enough for him.
When d married woman buys pug dog
for low price she gets bargain: and her
husband gets something to boot.
'Lecturing makes me jolly" says Olive
Logan. Doubtless che referred to curtain
lectures In this connection it would be
interesting 70 know what Mr.. Skies thinks
about it.
This is little ooeducaticnal scene: Pro-
fessor-''Who will sec Mr.. b before
next Monday?" Lay Ssstdest (hesitating
md hlushing a littlel-T shall see him
sunday night, probably Other lady stu
dent;' glggle.
SL* vas young and beautiful: he was old
and ugls He took her hand and squeezed
it tenderi,, and then : she put out her
tongue at him. Then he laid his hand
gently on her breast. She was eighteen and
he was seventy. but still it was an affection
of the heart. Oh, yes; it was. Her heart
was affected, and he was doctor, trying to
see how far the the michel had gone. -
: A San Francisco lady wanted her little girl
to bathe in room, the windows of which
opened into the yard, in which were some
fowls. But, said the little girl, II don't
want to battle before the chickens" "Oh,
never mind the chickens, said her mother.
WELL" said the little woman, Il won't
battle before the rooster anyhow"
The Northern Pacific farmer. [volume] (Wadena, Minn.) 1878-1885, 1881-04-07
What Great Authors Say.

George Eliot: No story is the same to Us
after the lapse of time: or, rather, We who
read it are noslonger the same interpreters.
Dickens: The old, old fashion! the fashion
that came in with our first garments, will
last unchanged until our race has run its
course, and the wide armament is rolled up
like scroll; the old, old fashion-Death!
Alexander Dumas: We must needs have
been very sinful before we we're born; or we
must enjoy great happiness after death,
since God permits us in this life tc endure
all the pains Of, temptation, and all the
tortures of sxpiation. D.: 49,.
Hilda Kruger: A mans, self-esteem de-
creases in the ratio that his learning in
creases. When one sees man who is both
5conceited and learned, be very sure that he
was the most arrogant fool before he &C.
CURED the wisdom he possesses, ...t
Scott: He that does good, having IN
limited power to do evil, deserves praise not
only for the good he performs, but for the
evil which he forbears.
Steele: The world will never be in any
manner of order OF, tranquility until men
are firmly convinced that conscience, honor,
and credit are all in one interest. ,:;." ,ss
Auerbach: Every one rej1ces that there
are others lower down in the scale than
himself, and is willing, on that account, to
suffer some to stand above him.
Voltaire: Women are capable OF doing al
that We do, and the only difference between
them and Us 10 that they are more amiable.
The Northern Pacific farmer. [volume] (Wadena, Minn.) 1878-1885, 1881-04-07

astonishing The metropolis. Mr. George T..
seney, president Of the Metropolitan Ma
honai bank, has been noticed for some
time to be giving way large Sums Of money.
To an impairment reporter, who b1nntly
asked the reason, Mr.. Sensy replied that all
bis life his object had bean to get money
that be might enjoy life, and that he now
found more solid comfort" in giving
away his Accommodations than he had ever
before enjoyed in heaping them together.
Mr.. 6eney has succeeded in setting an un-
co9enon eaenpae OF selfshness-oDe which,
unfortunately, is not likely to become
epidemi.. -.
The Northern Pacific farmer. [volume] (Wadena, Minn.) 1878-1885, 1881-04-07
Lincoln and the Office Seekers.

Murat Halsted, editor Of the Cincinnati
COMMERCIAL now in Washington, tells an
anecdote of Lincoln which contains q hint
for Office hunters: "During Lincoln time
there was great row over the postofce in
Dayton, Ohio. Two hotspu1s we're in the
field. Petition after petition in favor OF
one or the other poured in upon the presi-
dent, and delegation after delegation hast
ened to Washington to argue the case. Mr..
Lincoln was long suffering man, but his
patience gave out at last. He could not de-
termine that one applicant was in the slight:
est degree more competent, or more pasri-
otto, or better supported than the other.
Finally. after being bored by fresh dele
cation, he said to his secretary: This mat
ter has got to end somewhere. Bring a
pair of scales The scales were brought.
Now put in all the petitions and letters in
fav or Of one man and see how much they
weigh, and then weigh the other fellows
pile 1t was found that one bundle was
three quarters of pound heavier than the
other. Make out an appointment at once
for the man who has the heaviest papers,
said Mr.. Lincoln, and it was done.
The Northern Pacific farmer. [volume] (Wadena, Minn.) 1878-1885, 1881-04-07
Development Of a Barber.
New York Times.

New l0rk 11nes
In the tewn Of Altoona. Pa, there has ap-
pea.ed new and improved type of barber.
This admirable pereon h,eathes through
his ears. There appears to be small pas
sage in each ear, passing On enc side of the
tympanum and connecting the throat with
the outside ear. Through this passage the
new barber can breathe with perfect ease:
while his hearing does not seem to be any
less acute than tbs: Of the usual sort Of bar
her. He is said to be very rrcud of the Pc
culiarity which makes him to differ from
other BARRIERS, anG is IN the habit Of permit
ting his customers. TO- place q plaster over
his mouth. and monkey wrench on his
nose in order to prove that he can breathe
with both. nose and mouth closed. OF
course he can not talk through his ears, for
if he could he would be utterly useless. He
can not even make the slightest sound by
way of his ears, and when bis mouth and
nose are closed. he is Is silent SIS the grave
This is the kind Of barber for which we
have vainly longed. That such barber
should finally have appeared Nay seem to
many people to be only a beautiful dream.
but it is nevertheless splendid reality.
The Northern Pacific farmer. [volume] (Wadena, Minn.) 1878-1885, 1881-04-07
Sup1eme, Court Decision On the Contested
E-'* Lieutenant GovernoFshfp.

Supreme Court Deeisioa On the Contested
~ neutesant Governosship.
In The Minoesots election Of 1879, G. A. CHI
man was the Republican candidate for heutem-
ant governor, and received majority OF 10
COO over e. P. Barnun, the Democratic nom
inee. At the time of Gilman'e nomination he
was State representative, and :Barnnm
claimed the sseaf~ on the ground That the
former was Ineligible, inetituing proceedings
in the supreme court in support Of his claim,
and aeking leave to file IN information in the
nature cf quo warranto Mr.. Justice Cornell,
has delivered the majority opinion Of the conrt,
TO the effect that . person who receives less
than plurality of the votes cast at = popular
election for lieutenant governor is not entitled
to the Office, though the next highest candidate
who receives such plurality IS ineligible TO the
offce-the fact ofeuch ineigib;hty not *appeaf-
ing upon the ballots which he 60 received. a
quo Wazranto will not be issued wiu1out the
consent of the attorney general upon inforna-
ton Of q private party having no pereonai IN
terest in the question dietinct from the public,
TO try the right. Of an incumbent Of pIblic
office to hold the same.
Chic, Justice Gilfllan delivered a mn con
current opinion in Whist wea said fHy the major
itv Of the court on the question of the respond
ents eligibility to the Office Of lieutenant gov
e1nor, and on the nearing Of the constitutional
provision referred to, and c0ncurred IN the de-
c1sion that Baznu1c does not appear entitled e
the Office and that therefore he cannot, with
cut the coneent of the attorney general, have
the writ Of quo warranse 70 test <1llmsn't
right TO- the Office ~, ~
The Northern Pacific farmer. [volume] (Wadena, Minn.) 1878-1885, 1881-04-07

6ght?S The qaestionef left amid q genel-
al laugh.--Cltreland Leader.
A man in Guilford, Connecticut, who was
too poor to indulge in any Injuries other
than children, was presented by loving
but unreckoning wife with t1iplets- three
boys-and he sought for some family to
adopt them. Mr.. Clark was rather inclined
to take them, but his good wife thought one
would perhaps be enough. They were
talking over it before their little eight
year old daughter, who said: why don't
we take one of them. ma? OF don't they
want to break the sct?'-Horper's Drar-
GY.
Roofing grunter, lowly pix,
Awake! Arise! thy fame is big:
Thy name is passed from mouth to mouth,
From east to west FROM north to south,
Men ct business, men of wealth.,
Where'er they meet, ask ofypur health.
And meE renowned-our Lowell, NOyee--
With one accord lift up their vcice
And toll the natives over there
That tricbinosis is scare
Ole but good
The Northern Pacific farmer. [volume] (Wadena, Minn.) 1878-1885, 1881-04-07
Funny Fancies OF Funny People.

II think wen have an early spring." re-
marked an Oil City woman as she noticed
her husband in the act of sitting down on
the business end Of @ carpet-tack: r..
Women are such .inconstant creatures!
We heard young lady remark-rather in
elegantly, it must be confessed she
hated "that Briggs fellow, he is such q soft
cake!" Well, in less than three months she
took the cake.-Boston Transcript.
A little boy in Belfast, Me-, attended
church last Sunday for the first time. On.
returning home, he was asked what was
done al the church, to which he replied:
First they sang, than . man prayed, and
then one passed around a oorn-popper."
- >"Did yon serve in the war, uncle?" 'sNo,
sab, I Was cowardly niggah. Twas Ken
lucky niggah. And what did want to list
for?" '''Were not the white men fighting
for your" dispose dey was. Dat was no
sign Why We should fight. Massa, did you
ever see two dogs fightin' over o bone7"
Well, what's that to do with your Aghting?"
"A heao. massa. Did you ever ees de bone
The Northern Pacific farmer. [volume] (Wadena, Minn.) 1878-1885, 1881-04-07
Scientific SeintilatiOEs.

By means of q wonderfully constructed
apparatus, comprising series of "continu-
Gus" rolls handling the metal automatically,
railroad spikes are now manufactured with
great rapidity. The iron, in the form of
billets two and a half inches in diameter
and three and half feet long: is taken in
by the machine, and in thirteen seconds Re-
duced in diameter and increased in length
10 rod thirty six feet long and nine-six-
teenth of an inch square; in forty seconds
more, this rod is cut IL two: and is passed
through two spike machines. from which
finished spikes shove. at the rate Ct forty
tons every ten working hoars.
Scientific men have proved by actual
measurement that most Of the great silver
mines lie 10 GOO feet above the present sen
level, and among the richest are some which
lie 2,000 feet higher still Very rich mines
have been found as high as 10000 feet. It
is notable fact that as a rule the richest
silver mines lie over 10, COO feet above the
sea level. The mines or Ruby Hill are be-
tween 5000 and 5000 Fee: above the level
Of the sea.
A trial recently made Of a new fire extin
gushing fluid seems. according to the Lon
don I1,surance World, to have been very
satisfactory. Two pilee at timber crossed
and their interstices filed With infianmable
material. the whole drenched with benzine
aud petroleum and allowed Eve minutes to
become thoroughly ign;ted, were then treat
ed with twelve gallons Ct the solution OF
sillicate Of sodium and twenty-five gallons
Of water respectively. The fire on which
the solution was throw, was exting.ished
| in one minute. while the other lasted much
longer. One Herr Windsperger ie the re-
puted inventor Of this new chemical Ere e1-
tnguishe-.
| Iron and steel Go not rust when i'm
mersed in solutions Of caustic soda and
! caustic potash.
Prot. James D. Dana, Of New Haven,
Conn, amply proves from several papele
published by him, and especially from his
Manual Of Geology" that he had long ago
been fully convinced that the continental
! areas had always been continents. He 10
sure that this conviction Of his would new
er have been set down among speculadons,
even by the most e1actng Of British geolo-
gists, hsd attention been fairly given to
| kmerican facts."
The Northern Pacific farmer. [volume] (Wadena, Minn.) 1878-1885, 1881-04-07
:s,;.6treaks Of Luck in Mining.
From the Los Angeles (Cal) Herald.is


Sir. months ago middle-aged man, a
former resident Of Gospal Swamp, had to
borrow money to buy burro to 60 to Santa
Catarina Mountains, prospecting. He sold,
the other day, q mine for $13, 900 and has
better mines still for sale. Another former
resident of Los Angeles discovered mine
in,the Dragon Mountains and kindly plac-
ed q, friend in the claim. After while he
was offered $75. 900 for it, and, on finding
the other half owner, discovered he was in
eli advanced stage of intoHcaton. The
whisky eyed individual, who had not put q
dollar in the claim, concluded; "Worth a
million, IL it's worth cent Won't sell for
SIS, 600: Our wives will be dressed in silk
down in Los Angeles. The result was the
parties bought out the sober partner and
are. now engaged in freezing out the would
be- millionaire. Another instance and
will leave mining matters. A certain miner
here owed q merchant $110, and on coming
to pay his note had only 500. The mer-
chant tore up the note, remarking . that it
Was all right. Put me on some claim that
you discover" The miner did it, and the
claim has since been sold for SAC 600.
The Northern Pacific farmer. [volume] (Wadena, Minn.) 1878-1885, 1881-04-07
SOPHIE PIEOFFSKY.

Highly Connected and Of Superior1<iuestion
She was the Leader Of the Murderous Con-
epira&ors.
Dispatch from St Petersburg. ''.' g.,
All the five prisoners will he charged with
belonging TO secret society for subverting
the existing order Of things and with COM
picity in the assassination Of the emperor.
Public interest centers in tie female pris-
oner. Sophie Pieofsky. whose aristocratic
connections. social position and superior
education excite general wonder. She is
the daughter of a former provincial govern
OF and neice Of an officer of high rank in
the army. According TO the confession Of
Pieoftsky and Jalahof, they both knew land
they alone knew. of the attempt to be made
on the czar's hfe, and the time and place.
Their fellow consplrators in London and
elsewhere knew in a general way that anoth-
er attempt would be made. Roussakoff was
only infrrmed Of what ves required. of him
on the Gay Of the murder. Jelakof and tht
chief director il the matter, having been
arrested two days before, Pieofsky became
the guiding spirit, and sent Rorssakoff and
the other rnurdere1s, with bombs TO the sta
tons assigned to them. Eouesakof pro-
tests that he was not in any way admitted
to the counsel of the prisoners: but was
merely fellow worker. He asserts that the
n;hilists had no money: that there was COZ
siderable disagreement ann ng them. and
they would probably have dispersed had
their last attempt failed. Roussakotf seems
to be nihiIis., pure and simple: having
no project OF desire beyond tee destruction
Of the present order Of things. Pieofsky
and .Jelekof avow that the object Of thei-
opcrahons was to terror:ze the government,
~, nf tho nj
and bring about three possible eocialistic
republics after the fashion Of the Paris
! commune. The other two prisoners, Mi
chaeloff ard the woman Helfmanna. seem
| of less Importance: Both refuse to'answer
the CHARGES made a4aiust then
The Northern Pacific farmer. [volume] (Wadena, Minn.) 1878-1885, 1881-04-07
THESlIICIDE.

A Swallowed form before the light. =.
A cleaning face against the night.
Clutched hands across q halo bright
OF blowing hair-her fixed sight
Stares down where moving black below, -"
The rivers deathly waves In murnurous siience
The moon falls faintng on the sky,
The dark woods bow their heads in SORROW,
The earth sends up misty sigh:
A soul defes the morrow!
Rose Hawthorne Latbrop.
The Northern Pacific farmer. [volume] (Wadena, Minn.) 1878-1885, 1881-04-07
Personal Paragraphs.

Secretary and Mrs. Window have three
children IA son who is in New Hampshire
preparing for college; daughter, Helen
Window, who is III her teens, and another
daughter, child of seven years. ' T.. 4
Maj. John W. Booth: the founder of the
commission house Of John W. Booth l.
sons. one Of the oldest merchants of St.
Louis, is dead. 80
The Allentown (Pa.( Register reports
that Gen. Grant has lately bought farm Of
104 acres in Radnor township, Delaware
county, in that State.
The Aston family of New York cwn 100
dwelling houses, and most of them Of the
brown stone front class.
Michael j. Cramer, Of Kentucky who was
nominated to be Charge d. Affairs at Be1ne.
isa native of Switzerland. He is Gen. Grants
brother law, and was appointed Minis
ter Resident to Denmark In 1870. In 1876,
when that mission was reduced, Mr.. Oka1ner
remained at Copenhagen RS Charge d A.
fairs, which position he still holds.
General Mcclellan would hardly be rec
ognized by his old soldiers. He wns once
fat, sunburnt, and had large Black mus
tache, and babe fair to be very portly,
bull Knocked man. He is now slight point
ed, and gray person, hardly weighing over
$50 pounds, and wearing blue shirt, blue
collar, and blue cuffs.
I Awealthy Spanish beauty in Paris, the
Duchess Fernan- Nuez, has an income of
$600, 600 year. She takes twenty-seven
newspapers, gives 800, 600 every twelve
months to deserving girls, and distributes
S5O, 900 in the same time in various CHAIR
ties. s,.--. r.
Cora Williams, the daughter Of q wealthy
hardware merchant at Boston, living near
StJames square, at the South end, ran
sway to New York some time ago to become
an actress, her father and her ep-mother
opposing her dramatic bent. The New
York police took charge of her at the request
of her relatives, and che returned home: on
the promise that sine could do as she pleased
In Boston. .'a.+ y H.. u 49,.
Senator Malone has two sons and q
daughter old enough to take their places in
society at the capital. His wife . very &C.
comphshed woman, who 10 the enact. con-
tzast to her husband physically, weighing
more than two hundred pounds, il the
daughter OF Mr.. Butler, formerly treasurer
Of Virginia, and 10 said to have been q
beauty in hsr day.
L New York tanker has uooaded in
The Northern Pacific farmer. [volume] (Wadena, Minn.) 1878-1885, 1881-04-07
The Modest Circus Agent.

CINlQ EHe 0ts4Olt-c1tS.H 1eSs. 49, -
An advertising agent for one of the great
circus combinations has teen in Detroit fo1
q week past, and yesterday he sat down
long enough to answer few questions.
The interview started of as follows
How many diamond pins will you wear
this summer, and what will be their valuef"
II shall not wear any. Our show has
made new departure in that matter, and
nobody except the man in the ticket wagon
viii be allowed to Weir diamonds. I an
just kgong up to the 5ezpress office to
send my seven pins, four rings and sleeve
buttons home to my brothe-."
"How many consolidated shows do you
advertiser" >"
Only IL, but we have exactly Is. We
Go not intend TO DO any blowing this sum
mer. but=wiu practice the modest dodge.
We have ~ clowns, but advertise only 10.
We have 10 elephants, but advertise only s,
and 50 on right through"
Have you the only man in the world who
can turn q double somersault overa Is
horses!"
-~ NO; there is another man who can do it,
and although he il in state prison We htlat
want to say we had the only one. We shall
practice nc. deception and carry. NO hum
bugs" ,.n., ~ -. /, ~, ,.,,hon.q.
nave you Tue Ouly Vt4OY cAcHA<t0s'
"Yes, sir, but We don't advertise it. We
don't want to be mean toward othef'comhi-
nations
''Have you twice as much capital invested
as any other travelling show"
: Eyes, sir, but we don't say SO on the
bills. The public don't care about the cap
ital,. but want to see the animals
'W7in your street parade be a mile long?'
Two Of them, sir, butwe don't advertise
that fact: We let people come and be
agreeably surprised
''Have you got an elephant which has
killed seven men?'
*''seyen! :,Whyhe's laid out eight this very
winter! think the list foots up 81, but We
don't advertise it. An elephant is an ele-
phant, and what's the nee Of blowing about
it,
"You have two or three man eating I'll
gers. Of course?", ............;,.
"Of course-seven or eight Of them, and
We also have list of names Of people who
have been eaten by them, but we 1nake=?no
blow about it: - .
sHave you a boa constructor As feet
lon ag;,' ,,. ~ =, .,o. H.. +,a
but we give him only one line on the bills. "
Have YOU the sacred COW of India?"
= '""Yes, sir aud the sacred OK of Japan, and
sacred calf and a sacred pig, but We don't
l. blow over EN-. We let the public come in
and separate the sacred from the unsacred
themselves"
;"Will you have two circus riugs?"
we shall have four, but We don't put it
on the bills, as + told YOU a* the start we
are mailing . new departure. WeSshau not
exagperate.' t. We shall not even tell the
plain truth. Nc diamonds-not rumpets-
no snide Achallenges-no humbug Offers
give the people five times the worth of thei,
:mone5. That's all children half price an6
10 lemonade sold inside the tent.
The Northern Pacific farmer. [volume] (Wadena, Minn.) 1878-1885, 1881-04-07

From the Battle Creek (dioh.) Daily Journal
Upon being spoken to, concerning st.
Jacobs Oil, our fellow townsman MIR. Theo-
dore Wakelee said: l had been suffering
est relief from the use of st. Jacobs Oil.
It has also been used in my family for some
time, and has never been found to fail in
giving prompt relief.
The Northern Pacific farmer. [volume] (Wadena, Minn.) 1878-1885, 1881-04-07
Time for Seeding Wheat.

c. c. Miller, Of Rochester, MINI. the largest
of his commencing seeding for the last ten
The Northern Pacific farmer. [volume] (Wadena, Minn.) 1878-1885, 1881-04-07
MINNESOTA NEWS.

Minnesota News by TcleRreph and Mail.
Danial Mailman and wife sof Free1ee City,
have just celebrated their golden wedding.
Rev. F. G.. No-thcott, has preached his fare
wen sermon tc the congregational church at
Fsribault
CT. Young h.s been elected president OF
the First Nationa, bank in Lake City, vice A. m.
Baldwin, deceased
The state bond tribunal etili hangs fire, but
It is asserted that q sufficient number OF Judges
will yet be fonnd who will consent to act
The State treasurer has received check for
$40, 726. IL, being the amount OF tax for 1850
due from the St Panl & Sioux City railroad.
The thoroughbred horses purchased in New
York by Hon. Norman Kit!son, have arrived at
st Paul, and attract great deal Of attention.
The New Era, announces a. change IN the
management Of that paper, by which Q: H.
Thomas, formerly Of the lie Sueur News, Will as
rune editorial control. ~ssss
During the last winter Mr.. Cornelius Riley,
who employs nesr1y oil the train boys out OF st
Paul, paid rental 10 the variohs railroad com
panies Of 500 per day.
Oliver. r. Collier, connected for several yesrs
with the Sentinel office in Lake City, has rur-
chased the Wabssha Herald establishment snd
will take possession April /. !.
rs, GOO iand-locked Salmon from the govern
nns,nt hatchery il Maine. which they will dis
tribute 10 yariops sections Of the State. D."
While Conductor Cograve's train wxs e;and-
Ing al Forest Lake station, on the St. Pau! 4
Duluth railway. woman entered the saloon in
one Of the passenger cara and there gave birth
to q child
august Isireza is in lnrance vie at Maple
ton, Blue Earth county, Ter bastartty Krincka
claims that the young lady is his daughter, but
those interested in having him arrested clajms
that she il I'D iNeginmate child Of ,krincka's