The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1881-08-24
PITH AND POINT.

SSoRd Of the ksttle-The dull-cinm@.
THE beer-drinker often thinks Of foam.
Az ase-He who assents TO every
thing.
TIE bakers m&xim-Wh rfz b
light.
JONAH was the first eonundrum-ths
whale gave him up.
TEE man who goes into business with
the devil soon finds thAt his partner Is
soul proprietor.
ARKANSAS is 8 poor place to get along
in A young man, on his wedding-daI,
was taken out and hung for stealing $0
horse.
A HBERN1AE switchtender, who saw .
train coming in on time, said "You
are first at last, and you were always b.
hind before"
JRwELRY ought 70 be remarkably
cheap. You can get any quantity d good
gold rings out Of halt-eag1e by tossing
it on the counter.
"WHAr plan" said tbs actor ts The
suthor, "shaH adopt to ELL the hOHss
ct my benefit?" "Invite your creditors, !"
was the suriy reply.
a MONTANA Indian, who was convict
ed of murder, expressed his opinion OF
the lawyer who defended him with de-
ici0us frankness E" Lawyer too much
talk heap fool !"
A oURATE in England, while marrying
q couple that came without the parents
Of the bride, asked: "WhO gives the
woman away?" when the would-bs huS-
band replied: Nobody; I am taking hss
myself.
"WHAr is the meaning Of G back
bitter ?" asked gentleman ct Sunday
school examination. This was puzzleG.
It went down the class pRtil it came to
a simple urchin, who said: Perhaps it
is o dea."
WHENRvER you find a house with 3
motto " Welcome I" hung 10 that u
catches every eye, you needn't be suS
prised at cold dinner and hint thas
keeping boarding house doesn't pay IN
these times.
AVIAN who had just learned poker.
but who had not sufficiently mastered
the intricacies of the game, bet wildly
upon a flush, and, upon showing his
hand. was told that +" the spirit was will
ing but the flush was weak.
AN English magazine discourses on
"Cheap Girls" It says: "No young
man. not even the worst, wants any
thing to do with q cheap young lady. :"
This ia a mistake. No matter how cheaP
a girl may be, her young man always
thinks she is Q 90 little dear.
"YoU old vultuB, you !" she ex-
claimed when he limited that seven bon
nets a wear were enough for an ordinary
woman. Next day, when he relented
and told her to 90 down and order the
eio;bth. it would have made an angel
smile TO hear her sweety call him
''Birdie."
Cars lexicon: Economy-ThS art
of living on nothing while doing o good
business. Political economy-The art
of always keeping on the right side OF
the party in power. Social economy
The art of living of somebody doing q
good business, without doing any BUSH
ness yourself.
MAris blonde and MadGe Ia brown,
And Twixt the two ny;
One lives In the country, one in town,
But yet for both sigh.
Madge says that Pm In love with May,
Aud peuts . sweet d1sdain,
Yet ali the time her brown eyes say,
Al fear no rivals reign"
And shutte-Eke ny;
For blJIe-eyed May is all my own
When braEn Hadga u not by.
ant loving each, and loving both,
IknsvLnot how TO lie;
SO here's TO both, however lOath.
Good-by, gOod-by, gOod-byI
THE reason given by the colored man
for not going too near the hind legs of a
famous roam mule was so GatisfGetoxy
tbat we can afford TO adopt It as an ex-
cusa for not doing great many ether
things. eDe reason, he said, "Yhy l
robber 'proaoh dat roam paule from de
rSar is dat I'm too fond OF my family an
don't belong to no church, nuddOr.
"NAxINa a call the other dag,
writes fair correspondent, d" I casually
Openefa Bible ON the drawing room ta-
Be while waiting for my friend. ThG<s
was a folded piece OF paper INSIDE, ssd
Il was marked, I cOaldR't help SedinK It,
srecipe for punches Ny friend eptYced
at the moment, and hamdeG n TO heT.
6Why. where In the world did you ct
that + she asked, I've been looking lar
it for six months.
"FyHAr good deed have you done to-
day. Johnny p said benevolent father
10 his heir. 81 give poor little boy .
swer. "Ah, that was right; and why,
my son, did you give him the cent p
s' 7 gave it to him, dear papa. for q goal
2-Cent stamp that Ne thought was olAsSf
piece Of green paper" Let M prey,
said the father, and he got . strap aud
prayed on TINT boy fOz fifteen minutes
by the watch.