Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1881-04-15
IN A NUTSHELL.

activity cannot lead to good.-Hanndh
Moore.
Mr.. r. Z. Hit, the newly-appointed
assistant secretary of state, is reported
to be very wealthy.
The Philadelphia Ledger announces
that astronomer Proctor will marry a
young, handsome, and wealthy widow
of St Joseph, Mo.
There was a young lady named Fair.
Who artistieally banged her front hair
Her face she would powder,
70 make her look louder
And her skirts-well she had none to spare.
A young city fellow bought farm
last winter. He had fine orchard oi
about two hundred apple trees, and a
few weeks ago he tapped every one OF
them for cider
Adelina Patti is fond of billiards and
once asked Vigneaux: "Can you moi
teach me to play as you do?" Vigneaux
cleverly replied: "Yes, if you teach me
to sing like you.'
A lunch given by Il New York lady
to four of her friends cost $40, or $22
4 plate. 1t would be much cheaper
than this to turn aesthetic, and smile
idiotically at a lily for dinner.
The housewife now taketh the towel
And tieth the same bout her head
And goes tor the woodwork and windows
While hubby partakes of cold bread.
Regarding proceedings however,
Not even word by hims said
But he says to himself in whisper,
L wish the good Lord l was dead
Toledo men are occasionally grand
fathers at 39. One gentleman of that
age arrived at that honored distinction
a few days ago, whereupon his friends
dubbed together and bought him Il
time-piece and labeled it "Grandfath-
ers Clock"
A lecturer once prefaced his dis
course upon the rhinoceros with 81
must beg you to give me your undi-
vided attention. Indeed, it is absolutely
impossible fyr you to form rue
idea of the hideous animal of whic we
are about to speak unless you keep
your eyes fixed on mel"
eff this coffee is gotten up in board
ing house style again tomorrow morn
ing, | think | shall have good ground
for divorce" said cross husband the
other morning. II don't want any of
your saucer" spouted his wife," what
I've sediment"
The Oil City Derrick is the first in the
field with its spring poem. 1t runs
tnuswise: "There came to our cabin
one morning in spring, Il sweet little
robln-he came there to sing, but the
cat was attentive, and watched from
afar, till the robin all hee iless was
killed like the Gar"
1t is now estimated that the number
of converts resulting from the Moody
and Sankey meetings III San Francisco
is more than q thousand. Most Of
these have joined churches in that city.
The meetings have confined for more
than four months. Moody announces
his intention of resting during the sum
mer at his home in Northfeld, Massa-
chusettes.
Genevieve Ward is shocked beyond
all expression because men and women
are compelled to sleep in the same
sleeping car 1t is dreadful We have
often worried over the same thing, and
even afraid to go to sleep, less some
woman should chloroform us and kiss
us III our dreams. No man is safe in a
mixed sleeping car.-Buvlington Hauk-
eye.
Plans for a Masonic temple, to cost
$100, 600, have been prepared in Cleve-
land, o. Work is to commence soon.
and accommodate four stores on the
ground floor. In the second story will
be public hall. The third and fourth
floors will be devoted to the uses of the
fraternity.
\ matchmaker AT Copenhagen is re-
ported to have made watch which re-
quires no winding up, inasmuch as il
performs the work itself by means of
an electric current An electric mag
net fixed inside the watch keeps the
spring perpetually in a state of tension
All that is required to keep the watch
going is to preserve the battery in prop
er working order, for which purpose one
or two inspections in q twelvemonth
are said to be sufficient
Begging, as a proiessian, pays even
in England, where it is prohibited. Al
the Surrey sessions recently young
man was convicted of begging. He
made on an average six dollars day
besides spending from one dollar to
two dollars and half for liquor He
had been convicted sixty times before
of begging, and on this occasion was
sentenced for one year, with twenty
strokes cf the birch rod
A CERTAIN editor of weekly paper
made practice Of stopping the press
70 8 l. "a
more importance to announce than 8
dog-fght. One week every thing was
as dull as patent office report, but
the ruling passion cropped out as fol
lows: ''We stop the press to announce
that nothing has occurred since We
went to press of sufficient interest to in.
duce US to stop the press to announce
it. "-Norristoun Herald.
Ten years ago John Fettule any Mary
Heine were married in Switzerland
and were divorced eighteen months
afterward Mary came over to Ameri
ca and went out TO service in a New
York family. Last week John arrived
on these inhospital shores, and being
lonesome, hunted up his former wife
as the only person he knew in Ameri
ca. Mary received him cordially, and
a renewal of their acquaintance result.
ed in decision to try matrimony
again, and they were made one by a
justice of the peace.
SO seldom does the queen of Eng.
land appear in its capital now, that the
sight of her the other day driving from
the station to Buckingham palace Gre
ated quite sensation. She kept her
self closely yelled as she drove through
the streets, but there still remains one
fiber of the Londoner's heart to be
touched at the sight of the royal car
riage and the guards and the glitter
and the clatter, as the ouhiders trot
along, always in the middle of the
road and never crossed by any other
vehicle.
A sad case: Two loving beings that
had plighted their troth some years
ago, and were about to be married,
are separated forever. They were sit
ting together one evening, going on