Delaware state journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1870-1883, 1881-01-13
HER IND THERE.

Gulf OF MEXICO as the cod Is OF the Now
foundland coast.
A figured says that our national debt,
in silver dollars, could bs removed by rail
only with the aid of $3.50 cars, carrying 10
tons each.
new book is out, called How to Draw
and paint" There are lots of actresses
who cen Paint first rate but they do not
draw worth cent,-NeD Orleans Pied
yune.
Gen. Sherman says there are already
too many generals for the number of
soldiers in the regular army, but noue of
them want TO resign any more than
Sherman does Detroit Free Press
Sarah Beruhsrdt may feel bad because
the Clergyman blacksn her character, but
she learns that Montreal Alderman
protests against her on moral grounds she
will want to lie right down and die
Syracuse Herald
Cape God has an inbsbitant who has
never been mile away from the sound of
the ocean. That man will never, under
the administration of an Ohio President,
have chance to be Secretary of the Navy
-Neo York Herald.
Grant is not talbed of for president of
the Adams Express Company. Auy
concern capable of paying big salary, for
the presidency of which Grant has not
been suggested will confer favor by
rising up to be counted. boston Post
A Baltimore philosopher says that mo
man can ever rise above that at which he
aims" Can't, eh ? We saw man aim a
whack at mule and the next minute the
mule raised him more than 20 feet above
that at which he aimed. --BOstOn Post
"Tim, 1 want to borry your black
Sunday pants to attend funeral" said
one Galveston Irishman to another. "And
whose funeral is 1t ye are 10 anxious to
attind in me black Sunday pants?' Your
own, bedad, Of you don't lind 'eIn to me-"
1t is estimated that So, 600, 600 will be
spent in fox hunting during the senson
which has Just opened in England. This
is Just about the amount that America
will be expected to send to ireland should
another famine be reported. Philadelphia
NenS.
MILAN has a curiosity in q clock which
is made entirely of bread. We have often
thought that boarding house bread might
be put to some practical use, but never
thought of making clocks of it, What
enduring material it would be for tomb
stones. Philadelphia NeaoS.
There is no royal road 10 nobility and
the advantage of birth does not amount to
much in this country at the same time il
an United States man wants to be born so
that he can achieve greatness, or have it
thrust upon him, he had best be born in
Ohio. .-Ne,o Orleans Picayune.
Actresses are the slaves OF duty. Said
one. PERSONALLY 1 have not the least
objection to acknowledging my age, but
| you know young women are the most
attractive on the stage and deem 1t my
duty to the managers who employ me not
to get to be over 22.-Bost0n Post.
Lieutenant Commander Gorringe says
the obelsk will endure In our climate for
8,6i0 years. That is satisfactory. Lst
the old thing be put up Before the ex
piration of that time the Inventive genius
of America will be equal to the task of
manufacturing its own Egyptian obelisks.
An article is going the rounds headed
"Can woman drive?' That woman can
drive hens is u ''shoer ting as tae Teuton
remarked; that she can drive nail is not
so certain but that she can often drive
a bargain sharper than a man ia acknow-
lodged as an everlasting truth. Rome
Sentinel
Nebraska is the State for kind neigh
bors. When William Ashton remarked
that he would end his life if he had some
morphine, his neighbor at once volun.
teered to ride eight miles and procure 9
sufficient quantity. The same man also
kindly conducted the funeral services
Detroit free Pres.
There is o serious neglect somewhere
when public man is allowed to go out ol
office without gold headed cane. good
cane can be had for $15, and the mar
who gets it need not spend more thar
800 on the hungry subscribers who viii
expect to be asked to the supper.-Neu
Orleans Picayune.
John Holland, the master OF a board
school at Oastleford, England, was
recently fined 10 shillings and costs fol
severly hogging n boy with short stick
Defendant explained that he had abolished
the cane out OF Difference to public opinion
as expressed in the newspapers and hsc
substituted short stick.
A school girl saw play performed Al
San Luis, GAL, in which the heroine dice
by poison, after suffering very much from
unrequitted love. The girl had an un
happy love affair of her own, and tn,
performance on the stage impressed hel
30 deeply that she bought arsenic on tn,
way home and committed suicide.
En5lish high society is turning agains
the professional beauties, aud severa
houses where they have been accustomed
to display their charms have been CLOSED
against them. A well known Countess ha
taken the lead in the movement. AS thi
Prince Of Wales likes the company o
these ladies, however, it is thought tn
ban will not extend far.
She was big, buxom lass, and whei
her small beau called enc evening she sait
GOOD evening, Lily" "Im no lily" h
replied, surprised at the idea; "vou're tn
lily men are never lillies.' Yes, some
times they are; and you, especially, are
, lily" "How's that" "Lilliputian.
, He then looked as If be wished he we're al
eggplant. hentucky State journal.
/ A st. Louis young man promised hi
sweet heart a sealskin sacque ss q Christ
I mas present, but has no money to buy Il
III that dilemma he slipped into darl
alley, fastened gag In bis own mouth
bsckened his own eye, and told those VIII
found him thst he hsd been knocked dow
by robbers, who took away the sacque
But be confessed under cross-ex animation
The Hightstown Gazette is authoriza
, to correct the report that George Shafe
4 drove off an embsnkment and broke hi
{ neck'' in the following unimportau
: details 81 The horses were no; seriouAl
e injured 2. They were not shot IS. TIL
4 team did not go over the embapkment: 4
r Shafer did not break his neck 8. N
3 such accident ACQUIRED at Alsire or elst
!. where in the vicinity 6. No such man
! known in the country.
Il Inquirer: A college is place where
3 Young man is kept during the period he
a sowing his wild oats, and thus relieves hi
u family of the annoyance of having hiI
:, naturalization Post. Ard a female sem
Q nary is place where young lady is ket
s. during the falling-in love season, and thu
9 rolieves her father Of heavy expense
!. the way of new gate hinges and extra 60
u bills.
Al A census enumerator in AlabGma fouu
n an old colored woman ia years of ag'
She was very proud of it, and to try ht
age, he ssid sold lady, you must hay
heard the Roman empire when it fell
81 don't 'zactly member de circumstanc
% you spoke of now, but heard a might
s. rumbling noise de year the stars fell, an
y 1 spec it must a been dat. Things Wa
b constant fallin' dat year, and il it fell
y old North Carolina you bet your botto
ls RAG honey was darn