South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1881-12-23
1T A ND HU NOR.

Stole any chickens dis week, Brud-
der Jonosr said a searching class leader
70 member Of suspiciously thieving
proclivities. No, sah--tank do LORI
'You'se done WE'LL said the leader, and
passed on. while Brudjer Jones turns
to Brudder Brown and whispers: 'Luc-
ky he said chickens; if he'd said duck
he'd had me, surep
Contentment: Don't be forever
e'ghing for wealth, my son." counsel
ed Johns father; "be content with
what you have"
81 intend TO be when have t." re.
piled John.
Robinson (after long sitting at the
club)--"It Is awfully late Brown. Whist
will you say to your wife ?" Brown
"Ob.l shan't say much, you know, Good
morning DEAR or something of tina.
sort. SHE'LL say the rest.
In the stone floor OF the Grafton, w.
Va, Courthouse vestibule, is the word
Justice" in large letters. An old resi-
dent who had just lost a suit, was walk
Ing out of the building, sadly and with
eyes cast down. Seeing the letters in
the door he halted, uncovered his head,
and spoke: "Justice, knew you we're
dead, but didn't know where you were
buried until now"
An exchange which Ia opposed to
women's rights says: "It would never
do to elect women to Office. If a fe-
male sheriff should visit the residence
OF handsome man and explain to his
wife that she had an attachment for him
there would be vacancy in tho Office
in about two minutes.".
PRAYER AND STUDY.-A girl at q
London boarding.school was remarked
for repeating her lessons we'll. A school
fellow, rather idly inclined, said to her
one day. How is it that you always saw
your lessons so perfectly p She repli-
ed, i always pray that may say my
lessons WE'LL do you p said the 9th.
er; well, then, l will pray too But,
alas! the next morning she could not
even repeat word of her usual task.
very much confounded, she ran to her
friend, and reproached her as deceitful.
L prayed said she, but could not
say single word of my lessons Per
haps, rejoined the other, you took no
pains to learn it. You must sludy as
we'll 90 pray
"Yes, sir" said Mr.. G., cit was fun.
ny enough to make donkey laugh.
laughed Till l CRIED" aud then, IA he
saw smile go round the room, he 90,
mad and left.
Ialmage says. when boy isn't good
for anything they make a preacher out
of him and that is what ails the minis
try" Talmage wasn't good for any.
thing, according TO this.
Nv 'he uooE VI ready made
Clothing establishment in one of the
poorer quarters Of Paris: "Do not 90
somewhere else to be robbed; walk
in here"
Napoleon's, inspiration, when he d.
rected his soldiers TO trust in God, but
keep their powder dry was something
akin to Guiteau's plea that God is pro-
tocting him. whilst urging The court to
double his armed guard.
a Chinese sailor said in prayer meet.
ing, The more i pray, the more for,
get to swear Another man arose end
said. The more pray, the more for
get to grumble.'
GOOD USE OF THE BIBLE.--A poor
boy going to Sabbath school was met
by companion, who invited him TO
play truant; but be resolutely refused,
and went to school. When this came
to DO known, the boy was asked what it
vas that kept him from complying with
tho temptation. He answered, Be
cause l read in my Bible, 'My son, if
sinners entice thee, consent thou not
An Irishman applied to lady, who
had taken house at Blay for the sum-
mer, for employ ment. Bot my good
man, replied the lady, i have brought
my servants with me. have nothing
for you to de- 'Ah, thin, ma'am, II We
only knew how little it'd take to occu-
ny me-
IN GOOD HANDS He was young
country fellow, little awkward and
oashful, but OF sterling worth Of charac.