Mexico weekly ledger., 1881-09-22
Mfsled by n Pattern.

sis there any truth in this story
that MIR. Garfield has killed Senator
C~onkling?" inquired Mrs. S~poopen-
dyke, fitting the sleeve into the arm
hole and running in the basting.
"No!" CALCULATED Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke. "Where'd you get that? Mr..
Conkling has resigned, but he amt
dead"
81 read that he had got into some
difficulty with Mr.. Garfield. Mr..
Garfield had dragged him all around
by the ear, and finally they had to
take Mr.. Garfield away to save his
life, though he died afterward.'
"rWho said SOP demanned Mr..
|Spoopendyke. "Where'd you read
anything like that?"
II read it on a pattern that Mrs.
Winterbotham loaned me for an over
skirt I'm ia It's 3d." replied Mrs.
Spoopendyke.
sect the PATTERN" said Mr. .Spoop-
endyke. "Show it to me-"
Mrs. S~poopendyke unrolled the
pattern and commenced to read.
ssThe complications at Washington
have assumed the most exciting shape.
To-day the troubles between Garfield
and Conkling eliminated by Conkling
selling him by the throat and hold
ing on while the crowd yelled with
delight. Twenty to n vas offered,
but Garfield remains firm and de-
clares that the Administration will
not yield. This position aroused the
crowd to frenzy. 1t is said that
Conkling really desires to retire to
private life, but Garfield at that mo-
ment planted his teeth in his game
adversary's ear and dragged him
around until the friends of Conkling
we're compelled to interfere to save
the poor things life. He was taken
home, but died in a few minutes
There!" said Mrs. Spoopendyke,
triumphantly. 81 told you So"
"Show me-" said Mr.. spoopen-
dyke, jumping up and seizing the
pattern. "Where dye find such dod-
gasted nonsense IS that? Where is
ftp"
''There, it begins under the runle,
then it runs over on the hand aud
down on the gore, and ends here on
the plating. l knew I'd e e it,
and Mn spoopendyke smiles pleas
antly. {
"What's the matter with you, you
measly idiot" howled Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke. "This is where you get your
political information, is it? This the
source Of your intelligence on nation
al affairs? All you want is two more
patterns and a bald head to he a con-
stitutional lawyer! Three overskirts
and a pair of spectacles would make
you a Supreme Court Judge! What
dye think this isl"
"Isn't 1t right?' faltered Mrs
Spoopendyke. "Did you read from
the ruffle over the band and down to
the GORE
"Yes, 1 did, didn't I?' squeaked
Mr.. Spoopendyke, ''and SO did you,
didn't you? Do you know what
you've got here!'
isn't it q pat"
"Dodgast the pattern-I mean the
print! Part of it is about Garfield,
part about Conkling and the rest is a
dog fight On Long Island. Know
what it is now? Think you c I'M
derstand 1t now I've explained 1t to
you? o, you can't! You've got no
brains! Some day I'm going to
a pipe in your ear and start a phos-
phorus factory!' and Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke danced out of the room, leaving
it strawn with pattern dust.
81 don't care," sobhed Mrs.
Spoopendyke. sit reads all right, and
the skirt fitted so nicely that l sup
posed the articles were put together
straight. And it was so perfectly
natural anybody might make the
same mistake. It's so like most of
the news from Washington that I've
been expecting it every day. and
Mrs. ~Spoopendyke overcast the
sleeve, with the serence conviction
that after all you've got to patch a
newspaper into a pattern to get at
the actual facts sometimes.
The Circus.