The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1881-09-29
How Tibbitts Tried to Worry . Couple
Of Paris statesmen.

Tbbitts tried to worry one Of these
Partisan statesmen, and for once sue
ceeded. He stopped the party prome-
nading with him ON the Boulevard des
!taliens at a jewelers., who displayed
spoken" The " English spoken in
the shops is good enough, as rule, to
explain the nature and quality Of. the
goods. and that is all. Further, the
English-speaking salesman has no more
idea OF English than he has of Ashantee.
Tibbitts marched in boldly, and the
English-speaking man appeared. He
was very well-preserved, bald-headed
man of fifty, and at him Tibbitts went.
Do you speak Englishp'
"Oui-yees, Monsieur"
Iibbitts grasped his hand enthusiastic
ally.
It's refreshing to meet one in a
strange land who can speak ones own
language"
"Yees, Monsieur
swell, what I want to know is, is
the Chicago 4 Northwestern Railroad
cutting rates the same as the other
roads. and do they cut for Western
bound passengers the same as for East.
ern, and do you have the remotest idea
that the cutting will be kept up till
September when / return, and does the
Pullman Sleeping Car Company cut the
same as the railroad companies?'
Eth, Monsieur? Geese watches"
"You don't quite understand me.
You see the Pullman Sleeping Car
Company is quite distinct from the rail-
road companies, and one may cut rates
without the other. See? Now, what
want to know is
The bewildered Frenchman, who
spoke English, stared in wild sort of
way. but his politeness did not desert
him:
"Ees eet re watch, re diamond,
ze-''
"Not vet What l want to know is,
who is this Lapham and Miller who
have been elected to fill the vacancies
occas :oned by the resignation of Plat
and Conkling, and is Miller going to be
a tail to Lapham's kite, or are they
both square, bang-up men, and
"Will monsieur look at re goods?"
"No, no. Is the Chicago & North
western in this row?''
BY this time the Frenchman was out
of patience.
"Monsieur talks--wat you call i'm
gibberish. Fave not re time to waste.
Eef it ees re watch
"Sir," replies Tibbitts, severely.
"when sou announce English spoken
you should speak English, or at least
understand it. Good-morning, or, as
you don't understand the plainest En-
glish, bong-swoir.''
He had succeeded this time, and
should have rested on his laurels. But
Tibbittses, alas, always overdo what
they undertake. He had extracted so
much amusement from his first expert
ment that he tried it over again the
next day. He entered a similar place
and commenced the same thing.
"What want to know is. is the Chi
cago 4 Northwestern in the railroad
war, and do you suppose the cutting Of
rates will continue till September. when
I return, and"
"Indeed cannot tell you, sir. 1t is
something 1 do not keep the run of.
You had better apply at the American
Exchange or the Herald Office
This in the best and clearest Ameri-
can English. Poor Tibbitts had fallen
upon bright American who was turn
ing his knowledge of French to account
by serving as salesman in Paris. Mr..
Tibbitts smiled CHASTITY smile as he
bowed himself ont of the place. Bad
marksmen who by chance hit bull' g.
eye should be very modest and refuse
to shoot again. Even Napoleon, great
as he was, fought one battle too many.
Paris Cor. Toledo Blade.