Democratic messenger. [volume] (Snow Hill, Md.) 1869-1973, 1881-06-11
The toughest New Hat Story
You Ever Read.

ever played on white ma0 was played
last week 10 this city, ami the tact that
there is DO Vigilance Committee here
Is the only reason the perpetrators OF the
trick are alive. A business man had
purchased new stiff hat, aud he went
into saloon with half dozen friends
to q the hat on bis head. They all
took beer aud passed the hat around go
all could see it. One of the meanest
meu that ever held county Office went
to the bartender aud had thin slice of
Limburger cheese Gu. off. aud when
the party were looking ut the frescoed
cei'iug through the beer glasses the
wicked person slipped the cheese under
the sweat leather Of the hat. aud the
man put it on aud walked out.
The man who owned the hat is one
Of our nervous people, who is always
complaining of being sick. and who
feels as though some dreadful disease
was going to take possession OF him and
carry him off. lie went back 30 his
place of business, took of his hat aud
laid it on the table, aud proceeded to
answer some letters. He thought he
detected smell and When his partner
asked him il he didn't feel sick he said
be believed he did
A clerk said it was evident that some
body's feet needed washing The man
turned pale, and said he guessed he
would go home. He met a man on the
sidewalk who said the air was full Of
miasma, aud in the street car man who
sat next to him moved away to the end
Of the car, and asked him If be had ust
come trom Chicago. The man with the
hat said he hsd not, when the stranger
said they were having a great deal of
smallpox there, and be guessed be
would get out and walk, and he pulled
the bell aud jumped off.
The cold perspiration broke GO on
the forehead of the man with the new
hat and be took it off to ripe his fore
head, when the whole piece of cheese
seemed to roll over aud breathe. aud the
mau got the full benefit of il, and he
came near fainting away. He got home,
and his wife met aud asked him what
was the matter. He said he believed
modification had set in. aud she took
one Whit. as be took OF his hat, aud
said that she should think it had.
Where did you get into 2 said ssshe.
Get into il Z" said the man. 81 have
not got into anything, hut some deadly
disease has got hold of me. aud | shall
uot i've" She got his clothes off,
soaked bis feet ic mustard water, aud
be slept.
The hat was lying on the centre TIA
bic, ard the children would come in and
get a smell OF it and look at each other
with reproicbful glances and go out
and play. The man slept aud dreamed
that Il smallpox a'g Was hing 10 front
OF bis house, and that he was riding III
butchers wagon 10 the pest house.
The woman sent for doctor, and when
the mou OF pills arrived she told hin
all about the case. The doctor picked
up the patients new hat, tried it on
aud got sniff IL said the hat was
picked before it was ripe. Tue doctor
aud the wife held a post mortem exam
ination Of the bat and found the slice
Of limburger, Few aud short were
the prayers they said.
They woke the patient, and to pre-
pare bis mind for the revelation that
was about TO be made the doctor asked
him if his worldly affairs were arranged
in a satisfactory condition. He gasped
and said they were. The doctor asked
him il he had made his will. He said
that he had not but be wanted q law.
yer sent for at onoe. The doctor had
asked him if he felt as though he was
prepared to shuttle eff. The man said
he bad always tried TO lead diffsren,
lie. aud tried to be done by the same
as be would do it himself: but that be
might have made a mistake some way,
and that he would like to have a minis
ter sent for to take an account of the
stock.
Taen the doctor brought to the bed
side the bat. opened up the sweat leath-
err aud showed the dying man what it
was that smelled so. telling him be was
as well as any man 10 the city. The
man pincbed himself TO see il he was
alive, aud jumped out of bed aud called
for his revolver aud the doctor couldn't
keep up with him on his way down town
Tie last we saw Of the odoriferous citi-
zen he was trying to bride the barteu-
der TO tell him which Que of those peli-
cans il was that put that slice of cheese
III his Neutrality-suspicious. Rock Gazette.