Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1881-07-28
Energy on Tap.


&C. see that Frenchman has got a
patent for canned energy" observed
Mrs. Spoopendyke, as she picked up a
lot of cut-steel beads on a needle and
began sewing them on medallions for
dress-trimming.
"Got a whatp' interrupted Mr..
Spoopendyke, who was backing his
boots.
eyes. He says he can put strength
UP in bundles and send it anywhere, so
they can run ships and things without
steam. He sent ever so much over to
Scotland
"What circus bill have you been
reading now?" queried Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke, glaring at his wife.
"It's so," she replied. 81 saw it in
the Eagle. He does it up like preserves
and it lasts ever so long, and it's just as
fresh and strong when they open it as it
was at first"
"Who pats it up' Who're you talk
ing aboutP"
IA Frenchman. He gets lot of
strength and fixes it with electricity, and
you can buy it anywhere. I'm going to
good as going to the country, and may
be it'll help my headaches. 1 suppose
the Government will buy lot of it for
tramps."
You gone crazy again?' demanded
MIR. Spoopendyke. ''What dye mean
by putting strength in boxes? Think
energy is some kind of dod-gasted fish?
S'pose you can put main strength up in
bottles like a measly shrimp? If you're
going to read, why don't you read
straight?'
"Why, 1 did. He has some kind of
machine and he makes energy so it
will last; and then he soldiers it up in
tins or something, so you can keep it in
the house. I'm going to have some to do
the washing.''
"Does it strengthen up the mind of
dod-gasted idiot?" blurted Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke. e" Can it make a measly Spoopen-
dyke woman talk sensep''
"The paper didn't say but if it is all
they claim for it it will be a great help
in housekeeping and moving the step
pictures. And then it saves boiling beef
tea. Oh, you ought to read about it.
They say its the greatest invention of
the age"
"D'ye mean to tell me that they're
oChlLS uluoClO Wy thC me- w aH1 LAC W
understand that some frOg-eater is keep
ing industry on draughtP Think I'm an
aSS?''
ssThat's what the Eagle says" re-
joined Mrs. Spoopendike, with woman's
implicit reliance on anything in print.
s'And they can make it in any quantity
cheap, so we can have all we want. I
wish you'd get some right off, and We'll
try it on the Fridays sweepings."
"Quit!" howled Mr.. SpoOpenkyke.
"Stop making an idiot asylum of your
self! S'pose you can make me b'lieve
that housekeeping comes in jugsP
Think I'm going to b'lieve that weeks
wash comes in box, like measly pills?
P'raps you want me to think that your
dod- gasted stuff will pay the rent and
run my business! Next time you strike
a corn-salve you read it understanding
ly, ye hear? Energy by the pint!
Strength by the yard! Got that rip
sowed up in my pantsP'
endyke, meekly; and Mr.. Spoopendyke,
having arrayed himself, plunged out of
the house and made for the ferryboat.
"Hello, Spoopendyke!" saluted his
friend Specklewottle, 'ssee this thing in
the paper about the Frenchman who is
boxing up energyp"
eyes, certainly" replied Mr.. Spoop-
endyke, and I've been all the morning
trying to explain it to my wife, but these
women can't understand such things.
How's stocks?''-Brooklym Eagle.