The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1881-07-13

one kiss, terms cash in advance:
Girls under Is ......... Is
Girls from Is to 90. SO
Ladies from 90 to Is
Married ladies' under sc. 100
Married ladies from 80 to 20. NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.. 50
Widows under 80. IS
Widows over so
Maiden ladies from so to 40. =. so
MAIDEN ladies' over 81, two for. .....+........-.. $
The gentlemen were all gathered Ia the
dining room and all the ladies in the parlor.
In the library was a committee Of tWo-a
lady ana a gentlemen (the latter being time
keeper)-and they call in the gentlemen one
by one. Each was shown q schedule of
prices and q list Of ladies present, and when
one selected the lady he wanted to kiss she
was called in, and the transaction occurred
in the presence Of the committee. In cases
where the squeeze was prolonged beyond the
schedule, or an additional smack taken, a
fine Of double the price was imposed for
every minute in excess, and in several cases
the fines were heavy, but were paid without
q murmur. The whole aft 4ir was confident
ial, and none but the committee were to
know who kissed who.
There was present one young widow Of
suparlatiVe charms (Whose name is with
held from motives OF delicacy), and who
Had rosy lips that would entice
The gods to kiss at any price,
an for whose embrace a monk would give
his relics and ashes. The other ladies at the
party didn't mind it much until she had been
called into the library nine times in success
sion, without SO much as a whisper for any
one else but n her name was announced
for the tenth time they began to look . little
uneasy.
She remained in the library considerably
longer than usual this time, and q lond laugh
ter was heard from that mysterious apart
ment. Miss, q lady who had registered
her age st 80, and had caused some t~ittering
among the young girls by so doing, whis-
pered something in the ear OF Mrs.-, q
buxom widow who sat with her on the sofa,
and the latter replied in an audible tone Of
voice
Yes, know; she has always had that
reputation"
When the young widow appeared again
her face WAS very red, and her hair was q
good deal mussed up, but she didn't seem to
notice the indignant glances that were cast
toward her from 81. sides.
The library door opened and the time
keeper said
"Mrs.--is wanted again.
She rose quietly, and heaying 9 sigh,
glanced around the room, as much as 70 say,
lin sorry for you poor things" and dis
appeared, The lady Of 90 years exclaimed,
almost before the door was shut
Unjust say il Is perfectly scandalous.
Before any one could hardly reply a shout
Of laughter was heard in the library, and 9
little blaek-eyed woman ID the corner jumped
up looking q little wild and inq1ring
Wasn't that the voice of my husband2'
"As sure as I am alive, il was, responded
the buxom widow on the sofa, and, turning
to the ledv of %, she remarked, soto Voce
tThere's been a good deal of talk about
them two, you know
Another shout was heard from the library,
and the little black-eyed woman started for
the door.
I'm going ia there u she said. t'This
thing has gone far enough.
Another fne-that's three, called Out
The committee time-keepcr, IS the biack-eyed
woman opened the door, and the ladies.
all rushed in after her.
There they stood the young widow
clasped firmly ia the arms OF the black-eyed
woman's husband. The committee protested
against the intrusion, and something was
said about the rules, but 1t was OF no avail
The buxom widow and the young lady OF
20 made some observations that didn't help
matters any and, hearing the row, the gentle
men rushed in through the door. They
seemed to see something amusing in the cit
nations, and oil Joined il d chorus Of laugh
ter except the black-eyel Woman's husband,
who seemed to realize that trouble was i'm
pending. The hostess endeayored to ar
range matters 80 that business could proceed
but the black-eyed woman, wi b fire 10 every
glance demanded her. t1lhings.,' Her hrs-