The comet. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1877-1882, 1881-03-19
Written for Tile Comet.I
TOOTH PICKS.

|
but trifling occurrence, has neverthe
less historic interest, inasmuch, a
IL gave rise, as all readers of Englisl
history know, to one of the proudes
orders of knighthOOd known to th
hera' dry of that realm. That was be
fore the days of Classics" and tin
fastenings of the hose upon the Coun
tess' leg (that last word in whisper
may have been some coarse string,-
perhaps Old-fashioned wOrsted "quali
ty bindings;" yet, uotwithstaudiu.
the hOmeliness of the material, tn,
Order of the Garter is as exalted in tn,
eye of ambition, as il its original had
been Of richest fabrics, and set will
the costliest gems.
Did it ever occur to you, Mr.. Editor
that the unpretending implement
named at the head of this article thai
humble scavenger of the mouth, =
the tooth-pick, is often made the repre-
sentative OF much that il grand and
digniiied among the "flerce democra,
cle" of our republic? That where il
is seen in public places the man at the
hind end Of it is elevated, lin his own
estimation at least above his peers
Little as you may think it, ii is really
so, as shall proceed to show.
Go to the first class restaurant or
hotel and watch the well dressed
gentleman (?) as he finishes his pran-
dial meal. After having eaten and
washed down his food with fine old
claret," GO ceuts per bottle mark the
air of self satisfaction and conscious
dignity with which he calls tooth
picks !" and tipping back in his chair,
picks his teeth, wiping his toothpick
upon the napkin. There be those so
unappreciative of true dignity, as to
think that such doings are vulgar /;
but the opinions of the last named
class are entitled to no consideration.
Others STILL particularly ut large
hotels, 60 through with the same mo-
tions, and then walk out upon the
portico, with toothpick in mouth and
thumbs in armholes of vest, and with
cheseprotruding, strut up and down,
occasionally dropping a patronizing
remark 10 some friend whom he may
meet. What mappreciative boor will
have the hardihood to deny that there
is dignity and grace in all)this =?
Go Jext to the courtroom and mark
that well dressed young lawyer, as
he enters the bar, looks around and
takes seat with an air which says,
here am at home" He has but
few cases, but makes all the capital
that he can out Of them. When a
case is called he listens and gives a
look as If to say, thank "God that is
not one Of my numerous cases." and
sense of relief seems to come over
him. He seizes a law-book, lays it Oh
MS lap, open, with pages inverted,
sticks his feet upon the table, corrugates
his brow, looks on his book as If in pro-
ound study, runs his hands through
his hair reaching it up, puts on look
II green-bag wisdom, which causes
he grounding to gaze with wonder
1t his supposed profundity. Super
Idded TO all this comes the tooth-pick,
which he places in his mouth at the !
proper angle, rolls IL round as he pom
lers on the mysteries of the volume
'efore him, and behold! he is invested
With the aureola of forensic grandeur.
And, while in the courtroom look
t the Judge "sole presiding" The
awyers have just closed an elaborate
iscussion OF the difference "'twixt
weedledum and tweedledee," and the
uestion is submitted to the court for
ecision. He too, like the young law
er, raises his feet to the desk, tips
nsk his chair, affects a solemn and
arrest look, and, with tooth-pick In
iouth, casts his eyes upwards to-
ards the cobwebs, as he, like the
iper's cow" considers" Just look
him now! Was ever such wisdom
isplayed to a gaping audience See
ow the nImbus of judicial glory set
es upon his brow.
Go to the church in a small rural
'wn or sparsely settled country
IL is Sunday, and the
rSices have begun with only small
ldieDce. One Of the magnates Of
ie congregation,-a deacon perhaps,
save the mark,-enters, and look
g around finds seat entirely vacant.
e occupies it; and, scorning to put
IS feet on the floor which he knows
as not made for that purpose, but for
receptacle of tobacco juice and
Did sogers," he stretches his legs and
ct longitudinally upon the seat, with
ms outstretched and back resting
BON the end of the seat. Now he
avs that emblem of dignity, the
cocks 1t up to the proper
Ivotion, rolls 1t In his mouth, sucks
sometimes quite audibly; occa-
,nally turning his face condescend-
gly towards the ambassador Of God
the pulpit! And now, who shall
Iestion the dignity Of this perform
Ice2 Who shall doubt the propriety
such conduct In Gods holy temple?
Other instances might be adduced
supportof the view abovesuggested, {
t, perhaps enough has been said.
In conclusion, I propose that, to get =
en- with old England and her Gar !.
!, we establish an order Of knight ]
od for our country !, aud, to give II l
imposing name. although 1t may I
md httlepedantic, let US call IL The {
der OF the DentIscalpium. The maInl z
leetion to it would be, that its menu 2 2
y would be as .pienty as counts in Z
en- acre Dutch principally. .. ID