The Osceola times., 1881-10-15
WAYS OF THE WORLD.

Quantties OF iauu IN StutfW iiiioS'
SoxR machinery in a Cohoes mill
caught girl by her bang, and she nesr-
ly lost her life.
GREAT preachers used to be burned
for heresy, but now they are invited out
to have some oysters.
C.. II. Foster, the noted spiritual
medium, has been sent 10 the Massachu-
sets Asylum for the Insane
SENATOR J. Z. Brown, Of Georgia,
makes seven per cent. on store properly
in Atlanta, valued at t3oO,OOO.
ErroRr is being made to introduce
pennies into NASHVILLE business circles
Hitherto the nickle has been the small
cot coin used.
ETERNAL turnips through the gravy
splash,
As Walkin thunders, "Ho bring on
the hashl"
IT is singular coincidence that the
only presidents bearing the name OF
Abraham have been assassinated; Abra-
ham Lincoln and James Abraham Gar
field.
RrroRrs Of highway robberies in New
IIampehire are still coming in. On a
pinch we will lend the granite State
our governor till these little affairs blow
over.
In Hungary the bands play the same
tune for several hours in succession. It's
fine scheme for man with an enemy.
II soothes the savage breast to send the
music TO his foe.
A BosroS actor has collection of 600
hair. pins, with the name of each Of the
800 ladies from whose heads he pur-
loined them. He now repents his crimes,
but the general impression is that he
will die bald-headed.
An OK tossed a baby carriage in Mary
land the other day. Several malignant
old bachelors, who want all the side
walk for themselves, are about TO unite
their capital and bring yoke OF Mary.
land oxen to Louisville.
will you write me some cards?
Maria Jones is my name" "Wil' you
have it Mrs or Miss?" inqired the card.
writer. We'll, l don't care" responded
the lady, whichever is most fashion
Philadelphia Times.
WHEN Methusalah was only five hun
dred years old his father told told BIN
IL he didn't stop smoking vile cigarettes
he would die in early manhood. He
didn't stop, and he only lived few hun.
dred years after that. But boys will be
-Norriao,on Herald
ONE Of the great truths Of the day is
the following from the Boston Transcript
I'VE have seen ladies who were insuiier-
ably shocked at the sight Of man in
his shirt sleeves, and their own arms
L. II. a. t1,a st
men are strange creatures"
EX-SENATOR DoRsKY's cattle ranch in
New Mexico consists of 100000 acres
much of which is under fence, the whole
valued at 5000 900. The property is
stocked with 1000 head of cattle
among which are 500 bulls that cost
$500 each, and large herd Of 200
horses.
~ must say that l very much dislike
this ostentatious furnishing" remarked
the elderly Miss Pringle, as she looked
about her in the new home OF the
Spankingtons. Now look at that great
efaborately framed mirror. / declare, /
can see nothing beautiful in it," "You
shouldn' expect impossibilities, Miss
Pingle," remrrked Fog, the villain
Boston Transcript.
While President Garfield was with
his sick wife at Elberon. he declined an
agents persuasions TO insure his life on
the ground that he could not afford to
pay the premium. After much discus
sion. however, he fiually consented to
take out q policy for $4,000, the agent
agreeing to take two notes for the pre-
MUM, which amounted TO over $500.
Neither has yet been paid, but the COM
pany has forwarded TO Mrs. Garfield its
check for $4,000. and will collect the
notes from the estate.
FoRKl0s papers are not particularly
learned in the discussion of American
affairs, and much as We appreciate their
sympathy, We are disposed TO laugh at
their ostentatious ignorance. The Lon
don NdWddrd announces that Arthur is
an Irishman and Gays: Like most OF
his countrymen who have attained to
high position in the New World he
probably dispises the 0'Donovan Rossas
and Brennans, who build their hopes on
his friendly neutrality. But he dare
not scorn their votes at election time,
and when occasion serves, he may be
conveniently blind to their plots"
n NV icW ychIc uKo tlcft WAS xtn-
erous Turkish ambassador in England.
When any lady happened to praise one
of the handsome shawls that decorated
his person, he Immediately presented TO
her. This led to a very general ex-
preston of admiration for his excellen.
cy's shawls, and, in consequence, to
great diminution Of the embasadoral
wardrobe. At last, when his excellen-
cy's stock was reduced TO the one he
wore, upon lady fondly expressing her
admiration Of its beauty, instead of his
f,rmer reply, Madame, it is at your ser
vi'e," he said, with more than Turkish
,allantry; Madame, I am glad you like
it: shall wear it for your sake"
Stopping at one of the hotels at Hem
lock Lake, in New York, was man who
was somewhat boastfnl Of his adventures
and of the courage he had displayed on
several trying occasions. The other
young men OF the hotel made laughing
stock Of him and resolved 10 humiliate
him thoroughly for what was, after all,
only little harmless lying. The oppor-
tunity came when the supposed braggart
iiyit,l wing lady TO take carriage
ride with him. The practical jokers,
Disgusting themselves with masks, hid
in a lonely spot on the Dad, and as their
wouldbe victim passed rushed out and
demanded his money or his life.
They got neither, but one got
bullet in the body and another had his
arm broken by the same unerring aim.
There will be no more practical Jokes
played at Hemlock lake this season.
Philadelphia Press.