Centre Democrat. [volume] (Bellefonte, Pa.) 1848-1989, 1881-06-30
PUSGENT PARAGRAPHS.

A good trade mark-A big advertise
mcnt.
All fish do not swim through water,
the shad roeg.
Gate posts should be yet ont firmly.
A great deal may hinge upon them as
your girls grow mp.
The days are here when white
pantaloons and custard pies have an
affinity for each other.
Some pretty expensive suits are seen
on the streets, but not as high pric, AZ
those to be- found ia the courts.
Eta bad student lamp
Twas fall II kcrDzeno--
SAo knocked it Oh the table,
Aud-it didn't bursL
When a couple Of dogs fight for the
possession Of knuckle of ham, they
may be said to be engaged in a joint
debate.
When the COW jumped over the moon
she must have wanted 20 be MIXED
awful bad from the manner she LEFT the
milky way behind her.
Young lady examining some bridal
yeils-" Can you really recommend this
one - Over Jealous shopman-" oh
yes, miss. 1t may be used several
times
"The only lady that ever impressed
me much" said an old bachelor, "was
a 3O0-pound woman, who was standing
in car, and when the car turned a
corner fell against me"
A New York paper speaks of q man
who was beaten in three suits, which
reminds one Of the old-time schoolboy
who used 70 pad his trousers in antici-
patton Of a thrashing.
Nothing is impossible siih the per
scycring, says a writer who manufac-
lures philosophy at fou- dollars col
umn. Then, Mr.. Philosopher, suppose
you try TO convince your wife that she
doesn't need a summer bonnet.
"You say there hlin't no w in
French, says Tumblcton. Then how
the deuce does them chaps spell water,
/ should like ter knowT The question
was referred to the full house, with
power to send for persons and papers.
Pleasures Of hotel life Heres a
hy in my soup waiter "Yes, sir;
very sorry sir f; but you can throw the
! hy away and eat the soup, can't you ~
"Of course l can. You didn't expect
me TO throw away the soup and cat the
fly. did you?7
This isn't n menagerie," sharply OBJ
served an ira. chile deacon to a man who
was trying to force a passage through
the crowd at a church doorway. "No,
/ presume not, returned the stranger,
" or they wouldn't leave anv of the ami
mails to block up the entrance"
An over. .fastidious fellow, dining a. a
frst-rate restaurant, was complaining
because beefsteak was not cooked TO
suit his taste. cit takes away NV ap-
petite" he said. "to cat it" "Then
il must siit you," said friend. "Why
80 ?" Because that is what you are
eating 1t for l"-PAilldelplia San.
The cars fear Of Nihilists does not
confine him strictly to one apartment
When he gets tired of sitting on the
wa;er-bucket down in the well, he can
be drawn up and crawl into a large
empty cannon near by and lay down
and rest. His legs, at last accounts,
were Just as sound as anybody's.
A young man whose mustache Is,
like faith, "the evidence of things
hoped for. the substance of things not
yet seen" called on his prospective
father-in.l Law, and gave notice that he
intended marrying the old gentleman's
daughter at an early date. 1T had
better take place on some Saturday, so
that it will not interfere With your
school hours" sarcastically remarked
the old man.
Twas the first twilight interview.
She. swinging in the hammock ON the
side veranda, and he sitting submis-
sively at her feet, with his legs dangling
of the boards How refreshing at
the closing hour of day." he gently re
marked, TO thus in sweet companion
ship await the rising Of the stars that
will soon Aeck the ccrulean dome OF
heaven with spanglcs Of silver. /
would ever thus, with thee at my side,
revel in the sloricr Of the azure--axure,
as sure as" "What exquisite Ian.
guage," she said, with sign. "How
can you afford Il on six dollars week r