The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1881-12-03
The BumptiOus Boy.


ltseems to be pretty well agreed upol
by dome tic critics that the boy as {
household institution is not an object o
unalloyed delight. although he is to b'
endured as necessary evil. OF course
that applies to everybody's boy but oul
boy. Our boy is not the ordinary boy
at all but hero born, an incipien
demi-go the young st. George himself
although the neighbors may declare
him to be st. George and the Dragon
too, since nothing i'll his path is left
alive.
1t is in boy-nature inevitably to be
active. leaping. laughing, living; the
growing bones and muscles will have
full play. the healthy lungs full cry. A
boy that is any sort of a boy must be
gay and noisy, and must make an at
mosphere of commotion about himself
and his boots, his dogs, his toys, his
guns or his want of all those and like
things. If he sat still and talked under
his breath we should know something
was The matter with him, and expect
but poorly for his future; and so, if our
nerves are In tolerable health and no.
body is really ill in the house, we well
come all his racket and stir, and would
not have one sound, one echo the less
of his calling, and jumping, and whist
ling. and bouncing, and slamming, and
if other folks object to him we congrat-
ulate ourselves that his affairs are none
of other folks business, and look for
ward to the time when they will regret
their inability to perceive the greatness
of the man that was folded in the boy
to await its timely development.
But this is merely the common boy in
North America, as Aunt Jane in NAL
bone would say-this is only our boy and
your boy. There is something about
this one differing from the normal and
generic boy. He is not the evil-disposed
boy. the bad boy. or, worse than any of
the others for daily use and comfort,
he is not the bumptious boy. For of all
things in family. short of shrews and
scoids and busybodies. the bumptious
boy is the most intolerable.
The bumptious boy is always several
years older than the family Bible regis
ters him. and he impresses the circum-
stance upon you every day by means of
his sublime effrontery. While you con-
slider him the veriest youth, he consid-
ers himself already man, and as far
as he can acts up to the assumption.
His tongue is in every dialogue; his
opinion is proffered on every point; his
advice is forced upon you, whether the
affair be momentous or tri6ing. He re-
ceiVes your guests for you before you
can do it yourself; he takes the burden
of their entertainment; he criticises the
cookery with the air of DIR. Kitchener;
he is gallant to the housemaids, who
humor him because it is so laughable;
he affects the airs of society, makes calls
on amused ladies. has engraved cards
if he can get them, makes fuss about
his linen; his correspondence becomes
voluminous, and he is overrun with oc.
equations and engagements. He apol-
ogizes for appearing to neglect you; he
offers to do you services with his SUI
perior facilities; he pretends to the con-
Gdence of people that he knows you re-
spect; he comments on their peculiari-
ties, too; he opens the morning paper
and peruses it, whether his elders wait
for it or not, and knows all there is to
know on politics, being sure not to es-
pouse his fathers side lest he be
thought to take the ssold mans" opin-
ions ready made. He losses off glass
of wine at table, when he knows no one
will like to dispute it. and calls for an
other, to let you see what man he is,
and what head he has; he
swaggers into gentleman's
room and helps himself to
cigars; into a lady's beudoir and
busies himself with her work-basket,
while affecting knowledge of the
world that would make her laugh in
her sleeve if il were not not exceedingly
offensive. He hints darkly; he assumes
to have had affairs and experiences; if
it were not unmanly to boast, he would
tell you of how many women that are in
love with him-with him, Just out of
his pinafores! He practices for future
iove-making with his aunts and girl
cousins, and kisses them in a manner
that makes their fingers Jingle to box
his ears dozen times over, if it were
not for their Christian kindness in hest
tating to amaze him, and hurt his sur
prised feelings by repulsing his affec-
tions.
In short, he is an urchin Just in his
teens, with an Overweening and colos-
sal conceit of himself. who is scourge
and nuisance, but who amuses every
body SO much that he hardly kindles
lasting indignation, while the family
hope concerning him is that he may
one day have sense enough to see what
fool he has been.
You feel. nevertheless-if not so
closely bound to him as to feel nothing
of the sort-that the acquaintance of this
bumtious boy is detrimental to every
other boy with whom he comes in con
TACT and for the sake of the human
race in general, and of affording it as
little injury as possible, rather than let
loose upon it this hurtful species, you
endure his well-raeant insolence, and
the liberties he takes, yourself, and
long for the years to come that shall
put an end to his forth-putting airs and
graces. and make him man, perhaps
not any the more disagreeable for hav-
ing at the early age graduated in his
bumptiousness, and cast it off with the
things that are behind. Harper,
BGg0r. f-.' fot 9a
The Great Geysers Of the Yellowstone,