davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1881-08-23
Ho Was There.


We had on board, as a matter of course,
the betting young man from Chicago. No
steamer ever sailed that did not have this
young fellow aboard, and there are enough
OF them to last the Atlantic for great
many years. He knows everything that
everybody thinks he knows but does not,
aud his delight was to PROFOUND query,
anu then when you half answer it to cody
aud exasperatlngly remark:
''Bet yer bottle of wine you're wrong. {"
The matter would be 30 simple and one
OF 80 common repu;e that Immediately you
accept the wager, only to find that In some
minute particular you were wrong, and that
the Knowing youth had won.
For instance:
Thompson, do you know how many
states there are in the Union2'
Now, any citizen of tho United States
VINO votes and IS eligible to the Presidency
ought TO Know how many States there are
IN his beloved country without thinking,
but how many are there who can say off
hand AMI so poor ihomrson answord:
what question: Or course L know"
''Bet yer bottle ye don't"
"Done."
"There are"
Aud then thompson would find himself
whether Colorado had been admitted. and
Nevada and Orr gol, and he wou decide
That one hau anu the other hadn't, and
finally state the number, with great certainty
that 1t was wrong.
Inc chicago mans crowning bet occur
red the last day out The smoking-room was
toleraoly 1nli, as well as the occupants, and
everybody was bored, as everybody is on
the last day. The Chicago man had been
silent for III hour, when suddenly Ae broke
out:
Gentlemen"
"Oh, no more 5ets," was the exclama-
tlon OF the entire party. 'Gve us a rest
u dou't want to bet, but can show you
something curious"
"Well3"
81 say 1t and mean it. l can drink a
glass OF wafer without its going down my
throat.
'tAnd get it into your stomach 2"
'Certainty."
There was silence of considerable more
than minute. Every man iu the room had
been victmizcd by this gatherer of incon-
slderate triiics, and there was general dis
position to get the better of hlm In some
way, II possible Here was the opportunity.
40" could man get glass oil water Into
MS stomach without it going down his
thloa19 Impossible And 50 the usual
bottle of wine was wagercd, and the Chicu-
30 man proceeded to accomplish the sup
posed impossible feat. 1t was very easily
done' All he did was to stand upon his
head on the seat that ruus around the room
and swallow u lass of water. Ii went TO
ms stomach, but it did not go down his
throat. And 80 his last triumph was greater
than all his previous ones, tor every man
Ill The room had been eager to accept Lis
wager. From that lime out hud he offered
ID wager that he would swallow his own
head he would have got no takers.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1881-08-23
AS a young Chesterfield was getting into a

Asa young Chesterfield was getting into a
railway carriage the other evening, he
turned 'und to bid friend farewell. In
doing 80 he happened to press the foot Of q
y ung lady, who was sitting next to the
dor. Tue damsel, compresslng her brow
mo an awe in .p'n ing frown, ejaculated,
''You clumsy wfet Ii ~ Many men would
have looked foolish and apologlzed, but
Chest rfied was equal to the occasion,
IVY dear Young LADY," he exclaimed,
",ol 81 o I'd have feet large enou III to be
s'en, aud then they wouldn't Le trodden
Upon" Her brow relaxed, her eyes
sparkled, her lips smiled, aud tho injury
Was forgotten"
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1881-08-23

NEW AND STALE BRRAD. The nature at
the difference between new and etalo bread
Is far from being known. It is only lately
that the CO. 'ebi ated French chemist. Boussin.
gault, instituted an inquiry into 1t, from
which 1t results that the difference is not
the consequence Of dessication, but splely
of tho cooling Of the bread. If we take
fresh bread into the cellar, or In any place
where it cannot dry, the inner part Of the
loaf, 1t Is true, ls found to be crumbly but
the crust Is no longer brittle. If stale bread
Is taken into the oven again, 1t again as
sumes all the qualities of fresh baked bread,
although in the hot oven it must undoubt-
edly have lost part Of It's moisture. NJ,
Boussingault has made a fresh loaf Of bread
the subject Of minute investigation, and
the results are anything but uninteresting.
New bread, in its smallest parts, is 30 soft,
clammy, flexible and glutinous in conse-
quence of the starch during the process OF
termentlng and baking being changed into
mucilaginous dextrlne, that by mastication
1t is with greater difficulty separated and
reduced to smaller parts, and in less unde r
the influence Of the sa,lva and digestive
juices 1t consequently forms itself into
hard balls by careless and hasty mastication
and degluttlion, becomes coated over by
saliva and slime, and in this stale enters the
stomach. The gastric juice being unable
| to penetrate such hard masses, and being
scarcely able even to act upon the surface
Of them, they frequently remain in the
stomach unchanged, and, like foreign bod
les, irillalc and iucUmmode it, inducing
every species Of sutfering-oppression Of
tue stomach. pain III the chest, disturbed
circulation OF the blood, congestion and
pam in the head, irritation Of the brain,
ami Inflammation, al oplectic attacks, crsmp
and uelirium.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1881-08-23
!St. Louis Even ng Chronicle ]

While Il may be proper tnat those civ .
Ing in glass houses should never throw
stones," we think 1t is eminently proper
that those working in glass houses should
say "good VOID" for anything of benefit
TO themselves. In this connection, Mr..
Isaac Corey, Manager Salem, N. j., Glass
Works, remarks: am pleased to say that
have used the the Great Remedy, Ut,
Jacobs Oh, for Rheumatism with excellent
results; o'her members OF my family have
also been greatly benefited by its use
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1881-08-23

A CHARMING and inexpensive manner OF
decorating panel on the wall, or the pier
between two windows, is to cover the space
to.be ornamented with tulle. the meshes OF
which are rs large as possible. This at a
short distance does not hide the painting
or The paper on the wall, and it makes an
excellent groundwork on which autumn
leaves and ferns can be pinned 10 form
very ornamental designs.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1881-08-23

CONSUMPTION is said to be radically cured
by temperate living, avoidance of spirit
GUS liquors, wearing flannel next the skin,
and take every morning half a pint of new
milk, mixed with a wine-gla>sful of cx-
pressed juice of green hoarhound-an easy
and safe cure.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1881-08-23

CARBoLINE. a dcodorized extract of petro-
leum, cures badness. This Is a positive
fact, attested by thousands. No other hair
preparation in the world will really do this,
Besides, as now improved 1t Is delightful
dressing.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1881-08-23

"GEoRoE do you love NOR" IL did
you know how fondly--but--" SO.
George, low can you say 'but'3 What has
chaaiged you - "Well, Clara, I have a
prejudice, a-a---what under tho sun were
you cal essng that dog for7" 80, George,
how unjust to poor Fidol He is only u
| friend.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1881-08-23
a Great EntorDrfRe,

The Hop Bitters Manufacturing Com
pany is one of Rochaster's greatest business
enterprises Their hop Bitters have
reached sale beyond all precedent, having
from their intrinsic value found their wa y
into almost every household in the land. :
G7apIhc.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1881-08-23

The white of an egg, into which a piece
OF alum about the size of walnut has been
stewed until it forms jelly, Is cal i al
remedy for spr,ins 1t should be laid over
the sprain onap ece of lint, and be changed
a often as it becomes dry.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1881-08-23

A YOUNG man who lives in Austin, and
whose mustache is, like faith, "thc cvi-
dence of things hoped for, the substance OF
things not yet seen,' called upon his pros
pectlvc father in-law, and gave notice that
he intended marrying the old gcntlenan's
daughter at an early date. 'It had better
take place on some Saturday, so that it will
not interfere with your school hours" sar-
castlcally remarked the old man.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1881-08-23

SAFE AND RELlABLE.-There Is no dis.
ease Of the humaA system for which the
VEaErINE cannot be used with perfect
safety, as 1t does not contain any metallic
compound.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1881-08-23

10 HARDEN your feet bathe them frc
qucnlly i'll water to which five or six drops
OF tannic acid have been added. A strong
docoction of oak ba k is also good to
haldcn the feet.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1881-08-23
Is q Positive Cure
b.

for oil those paintin Complain md Weaknels lses
AocoininOn to our best fc Innl IL populn lon.
1t will cure entirely tho worst form Of Female Com
paints, oil ovarian troubles, Inflammation and Ulcera
tion, Falling and DlSEacc2:cnts, ard tho consequent
Cpnni Weakness, ind is particularly adapted to tho
Change OF Lifo
1t Will dissolve and expe' tumoro from tho uterus in
ri early stage OF development. Tho tcndcncy to
cerous humors therc checked peey by its
1t removes fantncss, atn!cncy 'estoys all craving
for stmulants. and relieves weakness OF tho stomach
1t cures Bloat:ng, Headaches Nervous Prostraton,
General Debility, S!oopesncss Depression and IndL
geston.
That feeling o. bearing down, causing pain, weight
and backachc, IL always permanently cured b~ its
1t will at all times and under all act
harmony with tho laws that tho female systcm
For tho curoof Kidney Complaints OF either this
Compound Is unsurpassed.
LYDIA F.. PINKHAM'S yEGETABLE COM.
POUNDS prepared at 213 and 235 Western Avenue,
lynn, Mass Prico 9 Six bottles for o. scnt by mail
IN tho form Of pills. also In tho form Of lozenges
rooopt Of price, 81 box for eit' Mrs PInkham
froely answers al! Ners Of inquiry. Send for pamph.
lot. Address rs above. Mention This Iaper.
No family should DO without L{D!. II. PINKUlaS
LIVER PILLS They euro constipation, biiiousnsaa
AM torpldity Of tb,'liv,r % cents per poI.
- S"'' =. ~ vN-.~-tsyp. -EN
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1881-08-23

AN exchange says that "of the six huu-
dred young ladies aItenuing Vassar, no two
can agree as to what they would do in cvc
they saw q bear" TO onouse betweeu The
danger Of being hugged uuuer such clrtyain.
stances aud throwing away such asp eudi
opportunity to get hugged W. uid cel tunly Y
be rather difficult. ~
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1881-08-23

"YoUNG Husband clearing
me ms Tor the women to tie towels around
their heads and run the men into the street
without any breakfast every morning for a
week or SO, while they break lamps and
spill whitewash on the stairs.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1881-08-23
IT ia remarkable how nany thinps "

II ls remarkable how many things will
explode-bottlcs of catsup, douQhnuts.
soda ater fountains, boilers, roast pota.
toes, and now man. At least we read in a
novel that ''Eugenle's father, upon hearing
this, explod with indignation" This
should teach fathers never to fool with
indignation.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1881-08-23

FIRST swell: "Duts it seriously make no
difference to you whether or not you are
thirteen at the table :" Second swell !:
"Why, yes, all the difference in the world
especially if there is on.y enough on The
table for twelve.''
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1881-08-23

AN Allegheny man attempted 10 blow
up his wife a few days ago by exploding
a torpedo under her. ~ case of retalia.i .ior,
| it Is presumed; But it is not likely that the
woman ever used torpedo Ill blowing up
her husband.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1881-08-23
Vegetlne
KIDNEY COMPLAINTS.

Tho symptoms Of an acute attack Of inGamma-
ton ot the kidneys are follows: Fever, pain in
the small Of the back, and thence shooting down.
ward numbncss OF the thigh, vomiting, usually
at first deep red color Of the urine, which be-
comes pale ana colorless as the disease increases,
and is discharged very often with pain and DIM.
Guilty; cOstivoness, aud some degree of collie. In
chronic diseases OF the kidneys the symptoms are
frequent urinntions Especially at night) general
drop y, headache, dlzzncss OF sight, indigestion,
and palpitatiOn Of tho heart, gradual loss Of
strength, paiencss and punlness Of the face cough
and shortncss OF breath.
In diseases of the Kidneys the VEGETINE gives
immediate relief. 1t has never failed to cure when
It IL taken regularly and directions followed. In
many cases 1t may take several hOtles, especially
cases OF long standing. 1t acts directly upon the
secretlons, cleansing and strengthening, removing
all distractions and impurities. great many
can testify To cases Of long standing having been
perfectly cured by the VBlErTEB, even after trying
many Of the known remedies which are said to be
exnraSRlY for this dIShASn.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1881-08-23

"I HAVEN'T any money with me to- day."
said Pendleton to B ifkins. who had called
to collect that little bill. ''but 1 will give
you my note" "Your note - exclaimed
B!ifkins; is it good for anyt: .ing7" ~
should say it was" replied Pend eton,
''everybody In the city has CO. It" Bit
kins declined wi Ii thanks. lie would cali
again.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1881-08-23

a MAN recently lyncneu in Arkansas was
believed to have been innocent of any
crime, until it was ascertained tha although
he had never been IN the army, he attached
"Colonel" TO his signature when writing
his name. Then it was the general opinion
that lynching WAS 'too good for him."
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1881-08-23

DIARRHGa-A teaspoonful of salt, one
OF vinegar and one of water; mix and
drink. 1t acts like charm. Repeat the
dose If necessary, as it is harmless. Spice
lea IL also good.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1881-08-23

The wife Of an English officer has writ
ten to tell him that, having embraced
buddhism, she, Ill right OF Der new faith.
divorces him. She evidently wants to EN-
brace Buddhist, as we'll as Buddhism.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1881-08-23

AT dinner q host introduced to the favor
able notice OF the company splendid
truflled pheasant. "Isnt it a bearty7"
he said. "Dr. So-Ind-sO gave it 10 me
killed it himself" '.Ah, what was he
treating it for2" asked one Of The guests,
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1881-08-23

A. LITTLE hoy, some Six years old, wap
using his slate and pencil on Sunday,
When his father, who was minis er, en-
tered and SAID: ''My son, ] prefer that YOU
should not use your slate on the LORDS
dav." 'T am draw meeting houses,
father" was the proml repy.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1881-08-23
No HOspitnl Needed.

No palatial hospital needed for Hop Bit
ters patients. nor large salaried talented
buffers to tell what Hop Bitters will do or
cure, as they tell their own story by their
certain and absolute cures at home.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1881-08-23
AS n Cure for PiIes

hidaey-Wort aots first by zero ming in the
III luest manner all tendency to cons ipat on
th'n, by lts great tonic and invigoratin. pro-
Pertles, 1t restore, to health the dobllitated
AMI Weakened pats. We have hundreds Of
G. trtlled cures, where al tl-e had Issis,c. Use
1t and suffer 10 lonH.r. EXCHANGE.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1881-08-23

THOSE weaknesses 30 common to our
best female population can bo speedily
cured by Lydia E. Plnkham's Vegetable
Compound.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1881-08-23
Naturo's Sluico. SVay.

Tho kidneys arc nature sluios-way to wash
out Tho dobr 8 Of our constantly ohanp ing
bodies. " thy do mot work properly the
trouble Is felt everywhere. Than be WISE and
as soon az you 500 81 ns Of disorder get 4
package Of Kidney Wort and take 1t faithfully.
1t will clean the sluce-wsy OF sand gravel or
slime aud purify tho whole system. Druggists
sell t. both In Iiqnih and Dry, aud 1t s efficient
Ia ether FORM Independmt
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1881-08-23

IN Is simply marvellous low quickly con-
stipntion, blliousness, sick headache, fever
and aguc, and malaria, are cured by "Sel-
lers' Liver Pills"
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1881-08-23

THE eruption caused by contact with
poison ivy may often be quickly relieved
by the local application of "bluc stone"
which is sulphatc of copper.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1881-08-23

WooLBS hose should be soaked all night
and washed in hot suds with bcef's gall, q
tablespoonful to half pail of water. Iron
ON the wrong side.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1881-08-23
GraDd RaUids Times

Chas. >. Strickland, Esq of 9 Boy ylsron
Place, Boston, Mass, after relating his
surprising recovery from rheumatism by
st. Jacobs Oil, says: cannot find words
to convey my praise and gratitude to the
discOverer of this linimcnt
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1881-08-23

Mrs. DUKES, of Colfax, Ir diana, had
running sore on her ankle for two years.
"Lindseys Blood Scarcher' cured 1t.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1881-08-23

A PRovIpENog giri on being told that her
false hair was coming Off, replied that it
was no such thing, as she didn't wear false
hair. And then she went and looked in
the MIRROR
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1881-08-23

10 prevent 8 ws from crushing their
young, nail board about one foot wide
TO the sides ofthe pen. The board is to
he put on like shelf, SO that the little
pigs can run under 1t to get out Of tho
way.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1881-08-23

You've man, beware Of stock and grain
speculatlons! If you want an "optiou'
that is safe. get the option 10 the hand of a
good sensible girl of manageable age, and
put up lot and neat little cottage as a
margin. 1t will be the grandest speculation
you ever made, and will bring you big
profits. You can stake your last dollar on
that and be safe.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1881-08-23

BLUE ointment and kerosene mixed IN
equal portions, aud applied to bed-steads,
Is an unfailing bug remedy.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1881-08-23

MBssRs. MORGAN h HRlDLY, Mutual Life
Ruiiu ns, fcnin and Chestnut stree q, h .ye ON
hand II superb stock OF ezra tine quality Dia-
mons, which they offer at as low prices as
tones 0i The nrst qual,ly, perfect allko In color
o. d shape, can be sOlI fur.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1881-08-23

A NEW drcas goods Is called "maidcn's
chcch'-and it is not peach tint, either.
1t ls yelow--sort o'brassy. 1t should be
rechristened ''lightnlng rod peddlcr 5
check"
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1881-08-23

WHEN clothes have acquired an unpleas
, ant ouor, by being from the air, charcoal
laid in the folds will soon remove it.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1881-08-23

A NEW MILFORD Cat catches weasels, 1t
catches them af.er they get out OF bed in
the morning. as you can't catch weasel
asleep.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1881-08-23
CINCINNATI, o., April 10, 1877.

CINCINNATI, o., April 10, 1871
Mr.. H. r. STEVENS:
l have suffered several years with the Kidney
Complaint, and was induced to try VEiETINR. /
have taken several bottles OF your preparation,
and | am convinced 1t IL 4 valuable remedy. It
has done me more good than any other medicine.
! can heartily recommend it to all suffering from
Kii,trV COniDiaihfiS.
Yours Respectfully, j. 8. MOMILIEN,
First Book-keeper for Newhal Gale. q Co., Ilou.
Merchants, No. 81 West Front st., Chncinnati, O.
VE,:ET NE has restored thousandX to health who
had been long anu painful sufferers.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1881-08-23

CHILDREN should be warned not to take
what doesn't belong to then-especially
the measles and smallpox
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1881-08-23

IHR household VINO Keeps baby car
atiord 10 sell the aarm-cIock very cheap.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1881-08-23

CONE young man 10 to college, learn t.
pilot boat race ana bring home a pre,t
diploma.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1881-08-23

APPLES eaten before breakfast, if we'll
mastcatcd. arc an and to digestive organs.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1881-08-23

APPLE JACK is said 10 be fret cousin to
jim Jams.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1881-08-23

JOAQUIN MILLER says he has wept on
reading some OF his own poems ltls Int |
SO would we If VIC had written 'cm,
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1881-08-23
Kidney Complaints.

CINCINNATI, o., March, 18, 1877.
H. r. STEVENS:
Dear Sir Il have used your VEGKTINE for somo
time, and can truthfuliy say 1t has been great
benefit to me; and to those suffering from dis
eases Of the Kidneys, cheerfuily recommend 1t.
Respectfully, o. Ii. SMITH.
Attested to by X. b. Ashhcld, Druggist,
Cor. Eighth and Central Avenue.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1881-08-23

CLOVER Glover is the best forage for
geese, and one acre is sufficient for fifty
birds. Young ducks and geese until three
weeks old should be fed on bread soaked
in cold water. Thet made from cnnrse
flour Is the best,
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1881-08-23
Flies md hiosuuitoea.

16c. box Rough on Rats" Keeps house
free from dies, bed-bugs, reaches, rats. mioe
80.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1881-08-23

BOLD men aro the coolest men in the
world.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1881-08-23

81 DESIRE" SAID the husband to his wife,
as they were walking along tho shore,
that when die lmay be buried in plain,
stained pine coffin, without expensive trim.
ming>." ''But, my dear" said she, "how
much moro respectable and fashionable it
would be to have black walnut and silver. "
"Posslbly," he seid, ''but was think .ng
of that for you."
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1881-08-23

AN old farmer noted for his ccccntrlcitiea.
had bred man who somew what resembed
himself, and WHOSE vag IT'S ext .itcd
themselves iu ways most ma, keL aud untx.
pec:td. Golng to his barn one winter
morning, the farmer tou I'd tn 81 his luan
had been before hum, and had taken
halter and hung hims, II 10 large bea II,
and was alleany hfeless. Surv, y,ny The
spectacle for a NOM, mt, tue old man | ur t
out, ''Wulll / wonder what on auth tnat
critter will 90 next ~
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1881-08-23

SWELL, I'm getting about tired of this
ERE lile," said an ultra sp, cl:nen Of the
genus tramp. "Going hnlf-starved one day
and drcnched to the skin auo b ,r 81, eplng
one night IN barn, the next might under d
hedge aud the third Ill tlo lookup; this
life isn't what it used TO be. Tell yer
what it ls, boys, lt't wasn't for Lhc looks uf
tho thing, I'd 20 to work."
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1881-08-23

UNDERoaouNp work---an earthquake.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1881-08-23
HUMOROUS.

Gus De SMITH is rather slovenly In his
habits, aud does not always wipe Off his
cnin after meals. A few days ago he re.
marked incidentally to his landlady that he
intended to shave Off his muslache.
ooh, don't do 1t, Dir. dc Smith," she ex-
claimed.
"Don't you think 1t would improve my
appearance asked Gus.
~ think it would very much. but don't
have your lhustache shaved Off"
"Why not 2"
''Because [ want everybody to keep on
knowing what l give my boArders for
breakfast"
Somebody has since shown Gus the point,
and he is looking for another boarding
house.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1881-08-23

~ biiity ana Weakness oi Gunsraiiye Urrsns AI.
all druggists. Send for circular to Aliens Phar-