Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1881-10-06
"NO-GoOd Day"

Half ali hour before the Pacific express
left for the West yesterday morning a
big giant of chap, Juggling q satchel
in one hand and leading big dog with
the other, entered the depot, followed
by a clean-faced, tidy y-looking man with
grab-bag and an umbrella. Both
reached the ticket Office at the same
time, and while the giant inquired the
price of ticket to some point IN Kansas
the other laid down the cash for trip
to Jackson.
Thunder and blazes and wild cats -
shouted the giant as he learned the price
of ticket-"why, / hain't got no such
money!"
'tCan't help Irregular rate, - said the
ticket seller.
''And extra for the dog?"
eyes"
'I'll be hanged if I pay it !"
every well, " and down went the win
dow.
Say, mister !" called the giant as he
beckoned to the man ticketed for Jackson
-''say, see here"
"What can do for you?" asked the
other as he came up.
Say, | want to go to Kansas"
yes"
"And l haven't got quite huff money.
I'm bound to go, fur I've left home and
sot out, and / must raise some more
money. Say, do you ever carry re-
volver?"
"Never."
'Well. you orter, he said as he pulled
out an old navy and worked the cylinder
around. "Tnnes is mighty scrumpshus
jist now, and every man orter protect
his life I'll give you this old barker
for seven dollars. I'll warrant it to
shoot blazes out of hoss thief twenty
six rods away"
"My friend, / am a minister of the
Gospel, and l never have use for such
weapons.
preacher, Ell? Say, I'll knock off
dollar on the price. Say six and take
il.
cit would be useless to me. F."
"Useless? Say, suppose you are
going home from prayer-meeting and
some rough tackles you? Click click
biff-bang and where is your rough? =?
You may get into dispute over at the
church with one of the deacons. He
thinks he has the dead wood on you as
he peels his coat, but you keerlessly
draw this out and wipe your nose on the
barrel, and whar's your deacon ?"
ooh, but I do not want it at any
price. Ishould never sleep easy if it
was in the house, even"
'"Then take this ere" said the man,
as he drew out a buck-handled knife
with blade foot long. ''She don't
burn any powder nor make any noise,
but she's chuck-full of business
"My friend, preacher does not want
such weapons as that.
"They don't Ell? S'posen you were
over to the hoss-race and crook
smashed your plug hat down your
shoulders? S'posen some feller comes
along and spits on yer boots? Say, I'll
part with this ere home-defender for
S5, though she cost me leven and
never stabbed but one man with 'er.
81 couldn't-couldn' think of it. AS
/ told you before | am clergyman and
have no use for weapons.
''Say, take the dog A preacher can't
be throde over the bar for keeping a
dog, and if you're looking fur sunthin'
about four times as wicked as b'ar-t trap
here's the anamile. Say"
81 do not want dog.
"Don't? Great hooks but do you let
tramps git outer your yard with two hull
legs? Do you drive hogs outer your
garden with switches? Say, I'll part
with old Typhoon for $18, and I'll swear
on four Bibles that I've been offered $25
more'n dozen times"
"No-no. / should not know what to
do with him. l hope you'll get to Kan
sas, but"
''I'll say $15, though it's burnin'
shame"
ono"
"I'll say $12, if you'll agree to keep
still about it. -
"No; that's my train and / must be
going. I hope"
'Say, I'll sell ye a recipe to tame a
bar. I've tried it, and if it don't tame
him higher'n kite in week I'll chaw
sand"
GNO-no-o0Od day "