The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1881-12-23
ON CRANKS.
CHAPTER I.

Inc SUBJECT OF cranks appears tt
produce considerable merriment al
the present time, throughout the
whole country, and especially il
editorial comments. Late deYelop.
mentS prove the truth of the old
adage, "If you wish to encourage a
1901, give him an audience" Such
is really shown to be the case in the
the trial of Guiteau, which surpasses
all former precedents in the course
OF criminal proceedings, allowed, fol
The purpose Of the defense. to prove
by an expert crank that crankolooy
is a science, and not the creature OF
human law. Guiteau is perhaps the
only person who has been per.
mltted, in the American courts of
justice, to delineate what may well
DE tern ed "the crank's progress. .
Inc killing Of General Garfield and
the excitement naturally created in
the public mind, has had the effect OF
bringing many crankS to the front.
We are informed that ninety have
been arrested in Washington since
the shooting of the President.
These ninety crankS have all had
some grievances 10 adjust, some
problem to solve, some act
to perform, or sacrifice to make
for the benefit of others and
generations to come. Indeed.
ninety is only drop in a bucket,
compared with the numbers of this
class Of cranks who are running at
large, stocked with remedies to be
applied in The matter of political.
social, and religious controversy. for
the removal of supposed causes, right
or wrong, at any cost. This is she
platform Of the cranks, W no may be
easily distinguished from the sane
portions Of humanity. "By their
fruits We shall know them. DO
men gather grapes from thorns or
figs from thistles?" Cranks of the
primary class are by far the most
numerous. One important branch
OF this class, is found mostly to be-
long to the clerical department of
sectarian dead-beats, tramps and
bummeTS. They are continually
solving religious problems for other
SectS, and fixing the spiritual status
of other people. They believe that
the sale Of fifty cent Bible to the
unregenerated would entitle the
vender to a free pass through the
pearly gates into Paradise; and if
the Yendu, should see f5 to regener-
ate according TO his honest cOnvic-
victions, formed from the written
word, the vendor is next found
hurting stones at Yendee's church,
as reminder that he has
dared to differ with the theolog-
ical understanding of a primary
crank; and, that means and mea-
sureS must be res0rted to, specially
TO increase antagOniSm, for the
purpose of bringing about a divine
reconstruction upon crankilOqual
principles.
The pulpit crank may be readily
recognized by the death rate of his
Superinduced by
spiritual starvation, while he is
with bitter antagOnism,
his ntighborS church with theOlogi-
cal battering rams and abusive
declarations. He is continually
delivering over to the birthstone de-
partment Of the Internal regions,
the unregenerated innocent who
may never nave wronged his fellow
being in any manner, although
never brought to a condition of
mind to ask for quarters; but with
the sneaking murderer the scene is
changed. The theological crank
steps to the front and with great
sounding trumpets, usherS the
hearted wretch into
eternal life and happiness, while
the victim of the hellish deed may
not have had time even to say
Lord! Lord! and, therefore, takes
his chances on the broad guage
which is said to lead the other way
Tie same crank will perjure him
self for money TO build churches at
the sacrifice of truth and honesty,
and with uplifted hands cry aloud,
'Great is Dianna of the Ephesians."
He is stocked with advanced ideas
Of how to master situations and
prompts the graded crank to use the
knife, the bullet or the sword as
solving factors in the premises, fer
public glory and the worship of
ideas. He prompts others to COM
NIT acts Of outrages against their
fellows by the improper use of pow
ers vested. sanctifying the means
for the ends to be gained.
He calls upon government to silence
the audacious hereto with the
bayonet and the cannon ball, as a
spiritual admonition towards out
ward repentance, and ia lieu of
reason, truth, honesty, virtue and
Christian charity, demands special
legislation for special purposes,
rather than trust to the providences
Of Almighty God; and without pree-
ess Of law urges that execution
may issue in favor Of violence and
outrage as a substitute for the more
excellent way" Truly did the
Rev. Henry Ward Beecher say
upon well known occasion
that "such ministers had mis-
taken their vocation, and were a
disgrace to the pulpit and the miais-
try of Christ" The reverend gen.
tleman also showed that 1t was this
class of young cranks that were
selected by the father and mother