The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1881-02-17
PITH AND POINT.

PITH AND POINT. !.
The King Of Greece Oleomargarine,
A FooT-NoTE The shoemaker's bill.
SHAwLs made Of zephyr keep off the
wind.
a LAWYER does not always put his wit
in the brief.
WILL some one please fit conun-
drum to the following answer $ One is
an ice pick and the other is nice
pickle %
LIE young woman who used to sing
so divinely, 81 Oh, had I the wings Of a
dove, is satisfied with chicken lep
now. She is married.
TIE name of the largest CITY in Amer
lea was furnished by Shakespeare. He
sald, IN prophetic mood, 81 Knew
Yorick WE'LL
The Grand Marah Jah of Calcutta
Got tpsy and fell in the gutta
Who shouted 6 Oh, crscfsy!,
And toted him home on shutta
WEEN a man is informed that his wife
wishes to speak to him, what article on
his study-table does he mention in re-
PAJ AoCCeF-WelSnG.
JONES thinks man is fortunate who
has his will contested after death only.
he says his will has been contested ever
since he married Mrs. J.
HE only difference between O pig
making glutton of itself and man
making pig of himself is that the pig
at some future day will be cured.
Of
nese, shook his head and said, solemnly.
II DC White folks be so dark as dat out
Oar, l wonder what's de color OBJ do
black folks"
WERE sitting on the stie, Mary.
Whero we sat long ago;
Al, then your hair was black as let.
But now it's light as tow!
Ills thus the chemists wizard arts
With changes queer confound u.s.
And mock when memory brings the light
VI other days around us.
eyes," said would-be artist. his
eyes beaming with loving pride upon
his latest creation eyes, I draw all nv
figures from the life ssBut." blurteG
out Jones, "who the deuce is II that
draws the Life from your figures, YOU
know ?"
How ARE you and your wife coming
on?" asked Galveston man of a colored
man. "She has run me off. boss"
"What's the matter ?" lis to blame.
boss. gave her a splendid white silk
dress, and den she got SO proud she had
nc use for me. She lowed was too
dark to match de dress. Galveston
Neavs. 0e'
His mother was putting on her slip
per again when he brushed away the
tears, and, affectionately caressing the
place that smarted most, asked between
bus sobs: emma, DIDO you k-know
why lin like M-mary?" She looked
at him crossways without speaking, but
he answered it; "B-because II had q
little lam"
HE Bohemian K called on his friend
s., who was found in the society Of an
elderly woman. ':My mother ex-
planned S. "How many have you?
asked K; sethis isn't the same mother
you introduced me to the last time"
>" No, this is the real one; the other
keep for the creditors who make me
swear on her head that I will pay them"
SECOND SIGHT. The science of this
amusing adjunct to legerdemain Is very
simple when once understood. The
contederates sit with their backs to the
audience. The wonderful silent ques-
ton consists in simply putting your
hand on the head Of a spectator, from
time to time, and rapping with the
wand. The reply from this stage is in
can IDIOT This creates
much joy.-San Francisco Post.
II DON'T believe in these secret socie-
ties" said one Galveston lady to an
other. "That's very singular" replied /,
the other. "Your husband is a For
roster: a Knight Of Pythias, and knight
OF Honor, and you will have at least
$4,000 when he dies ssBut what
good does that do me- was the fearful
response, "when he never dies 2" And
the poor creature burst into tears. -
Galveston NeeOs
A PRIEST, proceeding to the chapel
one Sunday morning through the burial
ground, observed several sprightly girls
seated on tombstone; and, wishing to
be jocular with them, asked what they
were doing there. "Nothing at ali,
place yer reverence" was the reply of
one OF them. Nothing!' said he.
''What is nothing?" "shut your eyes,
your reverence, retorted one of the
girls, "and you'll see it."