davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-08-15
POSTAL REFORM
As Inaugurafed by POstinaster-Gen-
eral woodward and
Enforced by the Clerk, Thomas. H..
ynrspaa

As Inaugurafed by Postnaster-Gen-
eral GibsOn-COOk- woodward and
Enforced by the Clerk, Thomas. H..
James.
The Republican of this morning has the
following significant editorial paragraphs:
1--WE are ninety miles from Washington
and steamers run down in six hours every
day, and yet 1t takes us four days to get q
letter from the city. This is the testimony
of our people at the resorts down the Poto-
mac this summer. 1t is one of the straws
which show how the wind is blowing at the
Postofflce Department for economy and re-
form. Bah !"
Right under the nose of the Post office
Department, as well as from the Western
country, come evidences of its mean and
narrow minded policy. People of Washing
ton who are down the river at various
points are receiving aged papers and stale
letters for the first time in many years.
Little Mr.. James has discontinued the steam
boat service.
And letter from Piney Point says
By the way, speaking of going to the
Point reminds me of the beauties of the
mail service in this section. 1t would de-
light the heart of Detective James himself
to know how effectually he had gotten away
with the "expeditors," and how economic
ally people in this section get along as re-
CARDS mail business. The system needs only
to be known to be appreciated. One prin-
cipal reason why we go over to see the boats
arrive Is to ascertain If any of our friends
in the city have sent us mail and then come
down to inquire about it. We are ninety
miles from Washington and steamers run
down in six hours every day. Yet it takes
us four days to get letter from the city.
This is what is known as civil-servicc re-
form, suppose. The reform consists in ex-
changing the river steamers for boy on q
mule, who rides out ten miles to meet an
other boy on mule, who has previously
met n third boy on mule, and by transfers
and exchanges this system of rapid transit
succeeds in getting the mail-pouch, with its
aged papers and stale letters, to the Piney
Point post-office, where they are usually left
for the waste-basket of the postmaster. The
business men here from the city who desire to
hear from home enthusiastically heap I'M
stinted blessings upon the devoted James
and his reform. There are few deluded
ones who turn up their noses and say sneer-
ingly they can't see the reform but then
you know, there are some people who would
not be satisfied even in Guiteau's position
The earnest admirers of this reform now at
various points along the Potomac number
hundreds"
Further comment is unnecessary.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-08-15
Elnalhas of Eurn

Can mosquito be called full-blooded
animal Puck.
If n smoker were to chew up his cigar
and swallow IL that would be a cigarette,
wouldn't it9--Detrot Chat.
The hero dies with harness on; vet
dying in harness does not make hero of q
mule.-Nep Orleans Picawtne.
The confidential clerk now tolses his VA.
cation to give his cmnlover n chance IN
look over his books.-Necdrk CaU.
A Mr.. Paul died in New Bedford tbe
other dav. At his funeral be had The usuaI
number of Pnul.bearers. Rosfon GIobe
orr oxrort. ;,,o.oaao, ,,o,,I,. ,,o,.,,.
,oot VOW That !, .,a nearly percenv,
sports and more exports.-Bosfon Trouscrint
WNoth;rn l. ;,,,ro.s;i,, 30 h., ~
vile Wnnso ~ T.; ~ LIZ WI" wv
,',a,, ,v ,,,;pis 40 ,t ~ oid ls .i ~. eno
WI " as " ~, s'v r"o"u VI '"o "'"Sois,
men tne ga testament IS revised
anu ihoucrnizea IL VIII pr0paDiy state That
that III ros;,,nat;o ,"u ,,pa ae0easeu m1iu
pI;i,JcJrL;a N",sa "''i' 10 "oooP'ou'
1 "''r VI .',"S'
,.,,. cannoe make good Judge out OF a
noouIuh any easier than you can iabricate
tne ear Oh q SWINE from the meshes OF a
s,lken Ieceptacle ior CONS Oh inc realm
I'VE" orleans F'cayune'
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-08-15
Another Crank.

George Holman, q young German from
Hanover, Pa, was brought to Police Head
quarters to-day to be examined with regard
to his sanity. Holman states that immedi-
ately after the attempted assassination hc
was elected President and started to this
city to take possession of the White House.
He arrived in the city last night and slept
in the Fifth Precinct station. He says his
only mistake was that he came to the sub
urbs instead of the centre of the city, and
encountered the police before he could reach
the Executive Mansion. From his cell at
headquarters Holman inquired OF The
CRITIC whether he was more than fifteen
miles from the White House, and said that
if he was released he would be proclaimed
President before night whether Garfield
lived or not. The deluded Chief Magistrate
will be conveyed to st. Elizabeth in the
nolice ambulance
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-08-15
snyinrs OF notable Men.


=" Lo! the poor Indian THUNDER
Hawk
:" Waterloo.natic Stanley w. is Joe
Pulitzer.
=" Buttermilk is a healthy beverage. p
Joe Image.
-"The worst evils of civil war are wild
ows. Ben Hill.
=" Ice-cream bills accumulate pay as you
go."--Charley Wroe.
-" In the sweat filthy face thou shalt eat
bread. BILLY Burdinc.
1--WE owe large portion of our happi-
ness to our mistakes."--Joe Potts.
=" 1t is not proper for a tetotaler to ac-
cept cordial invitation. Charley Nye.
Naturalists tell us that the male mos
quitoes never bitc."-Charlcy Thompson.
1.-The park lays way ahead of the sea-
shore."-Billy Williams and Buck Middle
ton.
=" For can weather the stiffest storm
that ever q wind could blow. Capt West
Davis.
-" In the julep season straws are used to
get bricks into peoples hats. Howard
Norris.
-"When man forges he finds it some
times necessary to make bolt"-Lawycr
Duhamel.
=" Don't get into debt with shoe.
maker if you want to call your sole your
wn."-Dan Hughes.
1.-The ears of man are happily located
since there is q good deal to BIO said on both
sides. John N. Oliver.
:" Cadet Whitaker will have to wait
awhile before he takes u dose of Swaim's
panacea. "-Audjtant-Genera Drum.
1.-THE man who gets most angry at a
newspaper squib is usually the fellow who
borrows the paper in which he reads it,
Register Ramsdell.
=" While the lamp near tho axle holds out
to burn,
The wheels of tho bicycle will uoctur.
nally turn
Billy Scribner
--"Would'st hear the pun that Hero
made,
Embracing on the sand her
Wet lover? Sweet Tulips, he said
And she cried. 20, Leander!"
l-Landy Jones.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-08-15
Funeral of the Late Nicaraguan
Minister.

The obsequies of the late Gen. Maxine
Jerez, tho Nicaraguan Minister, were held
yesterday afternoon at st. Matthew's
Church. The remains were inclosed in u
handsome black cloth casket on which was
inscribed the following: General Maxine
Jerez, L. E. | MP. de Nicaragua en- los L.
L. U. W The honorary pall-bearers were
Senior Zamacona, of the Mexican legation !:
Mr.. Yoshida, of the Japanese legation M.
Takahua Kozora, of the Chinese; Senior
Jose Il. de Cnellar, secretary of the Mexican
legation Admiral Ammen M. dc Geonfroy,
of the French legation, and Mr.. Thornton,
of the British legation. Other members of
the different legations were present. Pri-
vate Secretary Brown and Gen. Swain rep
resented the Presidents household and Sec
rotary Hit the State Department. Of the
Cabinet there were present Secretaries
James and Kirkwood. The ceremonies at
the church were impressive, though brief.
Father Boland read the burial service, and
in short discourse portrayed the necessity
of being prepared for death, and asked OF
the friends of the distinguished dead their
sincere and heartfelt prayers for the repose
of his soul, The casket was covered with
exquisite flowers in handsome designs. The
funeral cortege proceeded to Mount Olivet
Cemetery, where the remains, encased in
a box lined with galvanized iron and
heavily bound with iron, were placed in
the vault to await shipment to Nicaragua.
The remains of the late Baron Freyre
Minister from Peru, and his daughter are
also in this vault, awaiting the termination
of the war between Chilli and Peru.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-08-15
THE EVENING CRITIC.
ESTABLISHED AUGUST. 1868.
washington Grove Camp.

WASHINGTON GROVE, MONTGOMERY
COUNTY, MD, Aug. 15.-There was a great
crowd here yesterday. The programme pub
lished in THE CRITIC Saturday was faith
fully carried out. Among the incidents of
the day was Che christening of the baby
daughter of Henry b. and Alice Il. Gordon
in the tent of Mr.. r. s. Lawrenson. The
baby was named Ida Elizabeth. Tho late
George Mobley was buried from the church
in this village to-day. Many Washington
tenters returned to the city to-day TO attend
the funeral of the late William b. Reed.
No services outside of the routine were con-
Quoted to-day We are to have special
services here tomorrow for visiting country
people, and one day this week monster
Temperance meeting will be held, at which
Charlie Nye and Others will speak.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-08-15
Accidents on the Water.

Gen. Dumont, supervising inspector gen.
eral of steam vessels, reports that during
the fiscal year of 1SSO-1SS1 there were 26S
lives lost of passengers and crews Of mer-
chant steam vessels of the United States
from explosions, fires, collisions, snags, and
shipwrecks, accidental drowning and mis-.
cellaneous causes. Among those lost by
shipwreck are included the victims of the
disaster by the City of Vera Cruz and the
City of Alpena-12S persons. During the
year it is estimated that there have beer
upward of quarter oft million of passengers
carried
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-08-15

THEATRE CoMIQUE.-The attractions at
the Summer Theatre .Comique for the cur
rent week are many. The management an
nounces among the newly engaged per-
formers Weston and Hanson, Dan and
Gussie Hart Baby Hart, the child wonder,
and Kitty Gardner. All the old favorites
Of last week, including Leonard and Jones,
the Hermans, Steele and Topack, Ophelia
Starr and r. G.. Allen are retained. Next
Friday evening, Billy Williams, the popu-
lar local comedian, will take farewell
benefit. Matinees this week, as usual.
DRIVERS GARDEN.-Another great bill
is announced for this week at Drivers sum-
mer garden, and moro delicacies have been
added to the menu for the popular monday
lunch. Among the newly-engaged musical
talent are Mile. Minneta Thomas, Chicago's
popular soprano; Mr.. +. w. Anderson, a
tenor of marked ability, and George H.
French, baritone. Harry Mullen, the
favOrite Irish character vocalist, and George
Kaine whose funny Teutonic sketches
have attracted so much attention, have
been re-engaged. Go to Drivers if you
wish to enjoy a most delightful evening.
ABNER's GARDEN.-Only those who have
been there can appreciate how delightful
an evening may be passed at Ed Abner's
beautiful concert garden, on L street. Fam
lily parties visit there every evening
Young gentlemen, with their sweethearts
go there to while away pleasant hour, and
business men and others, vending their way
homeward after the tolls of day, drop in
to sip mug of refreshing beer and be
chcered by smiling faces, gay laughter and
the strains of Prof Chris. Arth's model
orchestra. The garden is always crowded
and pleasure never flags.
UNION VETERAN CoRPs.-This evening
the popular Union Veteran Corps will give
their third excursion to Marshall Hall. The
steamer Corcoran will leave her wharf at {
and return at 1880 p. m. Tickets can b,
purchased ut the boat.
| To QUANTICo.-The steamer Excelsior
continues to make daily excursions t.
Quantico, which has become quite famous
| as a river resort
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-08-15
Gospel Temperance Meeting.

A grand gospel temperance meeting was
held in Waugh Chapel yesterday afternoon,
during which addresses were made by Major
Add, ID. Welch, Rev. L. b. Burkhart, and
Messrs. George A. Hilton, Joseph Joynes
and b. f. Moffet. Some most excellent
music was enjoyed. Miss Susie Merrick
presided at the organ and sang most beauti-
fully "Come Home" Mr.. w. ID McFarlane
and Miss Merrick sang as duet Jesus,
Lover of My Soul,' and Mr.. McFarlane
sang as solo Father, Hear Our Prayer"
Mr.. George A. Hilton presided, and Major
Welch conducted the services
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-08-15
1881 THE GREAT 1881
PENNSYLVANIA ROUTE,
TO THE MOTH, WEST AND SOUTHWEST.
THE GREAT
1891

DOUBLE TRACK. STEEL RAILS.
Splendid scenery, Msgniheen ~ Equipment
TRAINS Leave WAs II II n On from depo
corner Of Sixth and streets.
as follows:
For Plttsburg and the West, 500 2. m. Daily with
Sleeping cars ,n g pt,S6urg and Chicago 1870
to Cincinnati, ST. Louis and Chicago; $50 p. m
d hAY TIth f1ase p or * %fHItSRsrE
For Canandaigua, Rochester, Buffalo, Niagara
Falls, with Parlor Car to Watkins and the
canandaigSa and WstkiS's. WV" "'"' ."' ~
For WilliamsP9,rI t Lock Haven Haven and Emira
For New York and the THETA East 500 g. m 1890 a. m
and 1913 D. Ieed Gspress u I Pslm nS
Palace Cars, $40 a. m. daily, except Sunday,
Jersey City with boats Of brooklyn Annex a.
fording direct transfer to Fulton street, avoid
1899 and S1I5 =: m; Or sunday at 20, SO
lo9oand loI5 ?, M Limited Express, $50 a. IN.
For Rai!i@ors 60, 500, $50, 1890 a. M, and ZOO
40, 4.40, $40, 030 1000 and 1918 p. M On Sum
day, 500 1880 a. m, 100 $40, $50 1000 and iOl5
For P0pe's Creek Line, $40 a. m. ard 44O p. m
For Annapolis GAO a. M. and 44O p. M, daily, ex
ALE%ASPRN AND EREpER RE
For Alesandra ! 10, 90 and ii: 80 A. m. 4eO,
go Sand il.so p. m. On Sundays at 700, 9.s
For aRf S ne ana pf gcath 700 and lilo H.
ra Ga %aa am dd exSsp Ssgnds
and 10 a. m. 1910 3, s, 0.l0 p. m, and IL mid
night. On Sunday at sos and 10 a. M, and
Tickets, Information sleeping and parlor car &C
commodatons can be procured at the Offices north
east corner ofThirteenth street and Pennsylvania
avenue, and at the station, where orders can be
LEFT for the checking baggage to destination from
hotels and residences.
FRANK THOMSON. General Manager
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-08-15
Ex.Gov. shepherd on Guiteau's Act.

DR.. VIM. Tindall, of the Columbia build
ing, received letter from ex-Gov. Shepherd
this morning, in which he says, speaking of
the attempted murder of the President 1
am glad to hear that Garfield is alive and q
prospect of his recovery. What horrible
act, and how fraught with danger in every
way to the Nation. trust he will get over
the attack, as his death in this way would
have bad effect upon our institutions, to
say nothing of the fearful loss to his family
and friends.
"All are well, though we have had some
sickness in getting acclimated. twill wear
of, however" r
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-08-15

There is class of people, including ladies,
who are so anxious to secure all they can
in the time allotted to them at hotel tables,
that they gorge themselves. They reach
out so quickly that they seem to be spar
dressed, and but for their voracity would
be unobscrved. Even when they use forks
they seom to be using their fingers, and
grease sometimes shines from ear to ear and
from chin to forehead.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-08-15
DiscOrd Among the SONS OF Hnr.
mOnY.

DiscOrd Among the SONS OF Hnr.
mOny.
Mr.. w. +. Weber, through Mr.. Joseph N.
Oliver this morning filed his bill against
the Washington Musical Association for a
discovery, an account, and an injunction and
decree restoring him to his rights as
member thereof The complainant states
that he is a musician and member of the
association, defendants, which was organ
lied for mutual protection and the advance
ment of the interests of the guild. He
complains that he has been dropped from
the roll Of membership without trial that
his business has been interfered with by in
timidating persons, to whom he had
promised to furnish music, causing him to
abrogate contracts after he had mado them.
The bill further states that on the Goth of
July complainant was expelled from the
association without notice of charges
against him, and the other members have
been notified that if they play with him
they will be fined S..
The case was brought before Judge Wylie,
in Chambers, and Mr.. Oliver stated for the
complainant that the action on the part OF
the association had crippled his client in
his business. Judge Wylie suggested that
there had been conspiracy in the case,
and that the proper mode to assail the as
ISOLATION was by Indictment.
After the hearing Judge Wylie issued the
restraining order against the association
and fixed the final hearing for August 90
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-08-15
DIR. Rhodes Trnnsfusing battery,

advertised in another column, is an article
of real merit and is worth its weight in gold.
1t will positively do what is claimed for it.
Money cheerfully refunded to all using it a
reasonable length Of time if they are not
satisfied. Mr.. II. X. Helphenstine, the we'll
known druggist, Fourteenth and Fstreets-
Ebbitt HOuse-is the agent
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-08-15
National Hotel Arrivals.

f. II. Watkins, Baltimore; r. d. Buck,
Baltimore; Hon. Joseph G. Abbott, N. O..
Thomas p. Cheney, Boston; A. n. Miller,
Boston; G. X. Offield, Chicago; Joseph
Skinner, New Orleans; l.. r. Brumby, At
lanta; A. St. Clair Abrams, Fla. c. T..
Clagett, Md. j. s. Bracket, CAL; Joseph
Bryan, Va; +. c. Burke, w, Va; G. j.
French, Cincinnati; G, Emory, Baltimore ;
q. w. Mitchell, baltimore.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-08-15
Natiyities of District People.

The table Of nativities for the District OF
Columbia, prepared at the Census Bureau,
shows that of the 177,624 Inhabitants 1907
500 are natives of the United States and
17122 foreign born. OF the 101 ,026 white
25927 are to the manor born, subdivided as
5,254; the county, 1878. OF the 59,476
colored 24775 were born in the District,
19,462 in Washington, 1895 in Georgetown,
and 331S in the county.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-08-15
The Holy City of Tunis.

New York World.
Khairoan or Kairwan, the holy,city where
our special cable dispatches this morning
say the Tunisian rebels are tlocking, is the
Mecca of North Africa, and was founded in
the early days ofthe Hegira. Infidels are
not permitted to enter the gates of Kair-
wan, but, fortunately for the French a
French traveller some years ago obtained
permission from the Bey to visit 1t, and he
found that the town could easily be taken
by cutting off the reservoirs which supply
its inhabitants with water. Kairwan,
however, is not important as a stronghold,
but as the rallying point for holy war.
The task of conquering Tunis, should the
tribes be inflamed by the Mussulman dig
nitaries, will be one Of no small magnitude,
1t took twenty years hard fighting to con-
quer Algeria, and nearly thirty years
elapsed before the whole province was fairly
brought under French domination. Tunis
covers an area of 1000 square miles, most
of which is an unknown country to
Europeans, and its fighting population OF
100000 men will no doubt be reinforced by
Tripolitan tribes. The Sultan has been
concilated, but the Tunisians appear to be
determined to ignore him as well as the
Bey, and if they have leader of half the
capacity of Abdel Kader the French may
have to pay dearly for the luxury ofanothei
African colony.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-08-15
RAILROADS..
BALTIMORE & OHIO RAILROAD.
THE MODEL FAST LINE,
AND THE ONLY LINE BETWEEN
THE EAST AND THE WEST,

AE HG Hh hA 9Sf RS f1 THH RT WEyH:
DOUBLE TRACE y;a iwn'n 9%sShr COUPLER.
70 isks fi %A SHINY I'd 1851
t2,2o-CmIcAoo, CIScINSATI ANDsT. LOUIS FAST
s.oo-Baltimore, Ellicot City and Way Stations
te5S-BaltmSqa Annapolis Annapolis and way pea
mont, strasburg, Winchester, Hagerstown
e,o Poi M q Cls n aaa Nay Stations
and vsnnn Y TsM
meets 4. for IIagerstown and ut Point Of Rocin
10. oo-On Sunday oniy-Baltimore, Annapolis and
,o.oo1 Ysyi Exrnrs.. stops at Hya...-
vile, College Beltsville, Laurel, Annapolis
Junction, Jessups and Hanover.
lO.4O-PITTsBURGH, CHICAGO, CINCINNATI and
st. LOUIS EXPRESS.
i21o-Baltimore, Ellicot City, Annapolis and Way
t1.25-On Sunday Only, for Baltimore and Way.
t216-BALTIMORE EXPRESS.
t3oo--BALTIMoRE, PHILADELPHIA and NEW
sao-Baitimore and Way Stations. winchester,
Frederick, Hagerstown and Way, via Re-
4so--BALTIMoRE, HYATrsvILLE AND LAUREL
ExpREsS, Frederick, via Relay. Stops at
r.. 40 aliimore,. Annapolis and Way Stations.
t4.45-pont of Rocks, Frederick, Hagerstown,
Wy RSh era NV Wsy Sunday to Point
t5.45-BALTMoRE. ExfREss. .(lartinsburg and
Way, via Relay Stops at Hyattsville and
Laurel)
6.o6-Point of Rocks and Way Stations.
to. 46-Baltimore and Way Stations.
7.3o-BALTIMoRE, HYATTsvILLE and LAUREL
EXPRESS.
| te.15-PITrsBURGH, CINCINNATI, and ST. LOUIS
EXPIRES.
10. OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES, NEW YORK and BOSTON
EXPRESS. Sleeping cars to New York
1o.O0-BALTIMoRE, HyATTsvILLE, and LAUREL
| EXPRESS. stops on signal or to let of pas
/ sengers at any station between Washington
| and Annapolis Junction.
tDally. tsunday only. Other trains daily ex-
| cept Sunday.
| All trains from Washington stop at Relay Sta
| ton.
For further Information apply at the Baltimore
| a Ohio Ticket Offices Washington Station and 6i9
| and 1851 Penna avenue cor. of Nth street, where
orders will be taken fC- baggage to be checked and
| received mt any point la the city,
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-08-15
"AIderney Dairy wagons.

Fresh Alderney butter, churned every
morning, and delivered in Glib. "Ward
prints, at 35c. per Id. Also, cottage cheese,
SC. per ball buttermill<, sc. per quart, and
sweet milk, sc. per quart.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-08-15
UNDERTAKERS.

j. T. CLEMENTS,
UNDERTAKEN and Funeral Director
No. TO HIGH STREET. Georgetown.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-08-15

From of the western hills
Are unseen zephyrs cast,
To kiss the budding rose
AS dreamily they pass.
Yet down LIES unknown path
How often 1t appears,
That Just one thoughtless act
win cost n life OF tears.
Thus are Lies lessons wrought
AS moments new are born
God watches DER the rose,
But leaves TO us the thorn.
AN old skipper named Dawes,
Having excellent cause
To expect n political storm,
Comes about with his smack,
on different track,
And shouts, "Civilservice reform |"