The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1881-04-13
VARIETIES.

| git it J"
When man has not got good
reason for doing thing, he has one
good reason for letting it alone.
A man who offered bail for friend
was asked by the judge if he had any
incumbrance on his farm. ooh yes"
said he, "my old woman"
us that marble ?" said a gentleman,
pointing to bust of Kentucky's
great statesmen. mo sir, that's
Clay" quietly replied the dealer.
"Sure, the wood won't burn. iii
thry little of yerself, me darlint," as
Bridget said to the kerosene. "You
be blowed !' as the kerosene said 10
Bridget
Indiana has law to prevent weak
minded people marrying A crnsty
bachelor insinuates that the weak
minded are the only persons who
ever teink of marrying.
A London cabman called out after
smart, dapper little gentleman who
affects particularly large. hats, "Come
out of that hat, will yer? | knows
yer in it, COS sees.yer feet"
1t is neither safe, respectable nor
wise, to bring any youth to manhood
without regular calling. Industry,
like idleness, is a matter of habit.
No idle boy will make an active and
industrious and useful man. n.t oi
Bennett, the .Wausau murderer OF
rival dentist, who is now in the La
Crosse Jail, will attempt to get clear
on the ground OF emotional Insanity.
He used to keep it behind the door
in jug. @''e,l .,d. ''
''Do you think" asked Mrs. Pep
per, "that little temper lis bad
thing in a woman ?" "Certainly not
ma'am" replied gallant philosopher,
''It is a good thing and she ought
never to lose it" T rGug '2e
A new poem says; '"An angel
| touched his lips, and ne smiled" Well
that is a new name for 1t. The
author has made too free use of po-
etc license. For "angel' read "bot-
tlen and why he smiled will become
more apparent.
~Evifs in the journey of life are like
hills which alarm travellers upon
their journey; they both appear
great at distance, but when we
! approach them they are far less insur-
mountable than we had conceived
Cotton.
An exchange says: sGiye a girl
long eyelashes and small hands, and
she will put up with number six feet
and marry all around a curly headed
girl wearing ones and halt" That
! is ali very nice to talk about, but it
is not so easy to give girl long eye
lashes. t4
Fashionable young lady at social
gathering remarks, jestingly, to Gill
| hooly: 81 wonder how much would
i bring ii l was put lat auction and
1 sold to the highest bidder ?" "Just
about $780," "Why, my jewelry
alone is worth that" eyes, that's
what I put it down in my estimate"
A negro thought be would save by
sending his son to school and then
make the boy teach him. The plan
worked we'll until the young teacher,
following the custom of the seminary
where he was taught, gave the old
man thrashing for spelling dog
d org, and then the latter became
disguised and ran away.
"Sure," said Patrick, rubbing his
head with delight at the prospect of
a present from his employer, II al
ways name to do my duty" II be
lieve you," replied the employer,
sand therefore ! shall make you a
present of all that you have stolen
from me during the year" 81 thank
yer houor," replied Pat, ''and may
your friends ard acquaintances treat
you as literally" Il. .l,..s3x ~ .a9u.AI
To place your umbrella in rack
indicates that it is about to change
owners. An umbrella carried over
the woman, the man getting the
drippings of the rain, signifies court
ship. When the man has the UNI.
brella and the woman the dripping
it indicates marriage. To carry 1t
right angles under your arm signifies
that an eye is to beilost by the man
who. follows you. To put cotton
umbrella by the side OF silk one
signifies exchange is no robbery"
$40 lend an umbrella indicates 81
am fool" TO carry an open UNI
brella just high enough TO tear out