Arizona weekly citizen., 1881-10-02
Ehcfs and Faneies.

| It IS with the printer as with the law | yer; the more cases he has the more bus mess he does.
 What with the hackmen and the
 Bankers Convention there must have
 been a great deal of wealth represented
 at Niagara Falls lately.
 It is appropriate to refer to the spank CT boom when a whole primary school is
 whipped for some general midemeanOr.
 Gored hosiery is one of the freaks of
 fashion. This is all right for the ladies,
 but 1t will never do for the men. It
 makes a difference whose socks are
 gored.
 A Tennessee girl went out to sail with
 man who was panting to die for her.
 A squall upset the boat and he panted
 for shore and let a negro rescue her.
 "Never get nothin' right in the pa
 pers, mOGned an old man in the bastile
 last night. "Name spelled wrong in the police report again this morning"
 Dean Stanley died worth more than S4tU,OUO, and yet even the revised edition of the new testament says: 1t is hard for rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven"
 Nearly every editor in the Republic has written a moral essay on the death Of Jennie Cramer, but none of them have suggested that her parents ought to be held as accessories before the fact.
 This is the season when the bees get ln their buckwheat honey; but buck wheat honey is a delusion and a snare, and If !Ou don't believe 1t, just try to get some out of hive when the bees are at home.
 Old man Malley says James was al- ways a quiet boy and used always to hang about the house. It Is to be hoped that If guilty of the murder of Jennie Cramer he will be a quiet boy and hang about.
 A waiter died at C0ney Island the other day from cOncussion of the brain. As this has never happened to a waiter before, 1t Is supposed the unfortunate man was student from the Rochester University.
 Richmond, Va, Is suffering with a wa ter famine, and tine James river IS SO low that the httle fishes are unEm z around with tin cups In their mouths, begging for something tO drink.-Phil. Chroni- 1 icle
 The Popular ScienceMouthly has an elaborate di5cussion on the question: ! Are cemeteries unhealthyg" We should | imagine they were not, from the fact that | doctors are constantly sending their pa- l tients there.
 They have been anti-Jewish disturb ances in Russia, which may render it | necessary for some of the disturbers to interview their Jewish ''Cucle' to raise -he necessary funds to pursue their mo- Dle and exalted amusement.
 A Boston man was invited to a ban Iuet. it the bottom of the invitation vas the following: "Nota Rene - $ o'clock prompt He read it thus; Not i bean, ch? Then l don't go to the ban luet, that's all aDout it."
 Walt Whitman is going to expurgate his new edition. He says an old man of sixty has no right Co say what a young nan of thirty should have written-sO he is gong to let all the Leaves of 1 Grass stand as they are.
 Mrs. Jones, of Franklin, went to picnic the other day, one of those quiet licnlcs with no fuss, where you get up lt o'clock m the morning, pack of -our children and ten lunch baskets, and sad around in the heat all day-aud it made Mrs. Jones so tired that she had 10 do two days washing before she felt estcd.
 Eldest daughter: T think you might ct me come out, mamma, I'm twenty, 'ou know, and surely I've finished my 'ducation r' Festive mamma tby no means prepared Co act the part of chap .roue and wail-tiowerJ-"Not yet, my owe. Society is so hollow l really must preserve that sweet girlish fresh iess of yours little longer
 A literary veteran writes to This and That: Hens don't sit; men and women it. Hens set The veteran may toe Ight, yet there IS authority to say that lens sit " As the partridge sitteth, avs the Bible. Webster defines sit: To incUbate; to cover and warm eggs or matching, as a fowl Worcester de ines 1t: " To brood, to incubate.'
 Dennis, my boy" said schoolmas- CT to his HIbernian pupil, " fear l hail make nothing of yOu-yOU've no .pplication.' " An sure enough, sir, aid the quick-wi.ted lad, "lsn't It me elf that's always been tOuld there is no occasion for 1t: Don't l see in the news Iapers livery day that No Irish need pply, at all, at all? '-Hartford Times.
 The new Vicar's wife: Who lives leXt door to you, Mrs. BrOwn?' Mrs. Brown: The JugsOns, marm." \. V. N.: Have they any Iamily?' Mrs. B.:
 Well, marm, their eldest boy, he were Ianged: and their second, he's a'doin even years; and their gal, the eldest, east ways. she's a-doin a year; and two m the other boys, tEey's in reform'try; O l may say as they amt got no family o speak of.-. Fun
 The Detroit Free Press says: " A Missouri woman got up before daylight lst Sunday morning, put out a big : hood the potatoes, killed and .ressed three chickens for dinner, beat
 neighbor woman out of a. dollar on let as tO the weight of one of the fowls, icked her husband for interfering, licked a gallon of gOOseberries and 7ashed and dressed seven children for sunday school" When a woman with nergy like that gets tO housekeeping ghat an internal region she must make Ter hOmcl
 Quiet children: How very quiet some hildren are. We know a New Haven 1 who never makes trouble at 1. n, and we are going to get him copy , ighted. The other day he came mp Co ' .is mother and with a sort of wistful, ar-otI look, said: Say. mamma, don't on 'spose papa will buy another water q lel0n before the seasons over; the one re had is all gone We are not sure, , ut we think the dessert that day was : mountain sweet. New Haven Reg