The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1881-11-11
Hash.

When young man wants 10 protect
n young lady he naturally puts his
armor round her.
A Vassar college girl, upon being
asked if she liked Goldfish balls, said
she never attended any.
Why is o pressman the most favored
by the fair sex2 Because he is contin-
ually making impressions"
The rrayer, "Givc me neither power
ty nor riches" is interpreted in Chicago
TO mean about quarter of million.
It's mean man who will fool flies
by having the wax figure OF u bald
headed man in his room TO attract Them
from him.
A New York man recently sold his
wife to neighbor for dollar. Some
men seem to take delight in swindling
their ncighbors.
Why is wine that has been bottled
for years like an unmarried lady of adj
vanccd age? Because it is old made,
and none the worse for it.
In tho good old Testament days ii
was considered miracle for an ass to
speak, and now nothing short of a
miracle will keep one quiet.
A Western paper says: A child was
run over by wagon three years old,
and cross-eyod, with pantalets on,
which never spoke afterward.
An Oswcgo girl dropped one of her
false eyebrows in a church pew, and ii
so badly scared the young man at her
side that he tainted. He thought ii
was his moustache.
"Say," said a city youth to the mod
est countryman, shay seed out of your
hair yet?" oval" was the deliberate
reply, al jedge not from the way the
calves run after me-"
New Jersey is trying to claim Noah
because he was a Newark man. Yes,
but you know he looked out from his
Arkansaw land. Give the south fair
show in this thing.
Young lady Ito her uncle): go, uncle
what a shocking thing! A young girl
was made crazy by sudden kiss!'
Old uncle: "What did she so crazy for :?
Why, for moro l suppose.
A New Britain man has Just become q
father for Tho twentieth time in twenty |
yoorS Ito sovs 10 Tho c;tv. WYon oct |
ibc foctories fore. III take care of the |
nonniotion nNrDanbnrv News.
u,o 1o,,o, = IN ,oararronl, ohopt
imU oc,ross onS ;nfnrme6 the
,onI,I;c ihot crows foci,od 70 soc her
,oborcvor clio wont How she did |
corrion whom clio rood ~
A New Jersey lady has hair eight |
feet long. When one of those hairs |
gets coiled up in the butter, and q fel.
cets into his mouth ond Zoos II nnliino
Fl ont Tho wild look in Els owe before |
ho tin;shoS ,bn in is = cont;on
Nv '''''''e' '--0 J'' - " '"'''''"'
The best part of ones life is the per-
Torrance OF ones daily duties. All |
higher motives, ideals, conceptions,
sentiments, in a man, are of no account
frth o HoS . d;nb ,nu w ~ dut
49, oirt 'ln,, ~ , 'e o. 1r.r
- 49,, 1;f pun INN Ia INC o''''Ni1
",'.iS "a INV
III the young man who went to call
on girl on South street, recently, but |
who suddenly left the front door and
shot out of the yard, with dog attach
ed to the dome of his trowsers, will |
viii be naid bv the Girls father. and no
questions asked.
a near sighted man was riding in n
woodward avenue car the other day,
when lady opposite bowed TO him.
lie returned the bow, raised his hat,
smiled sweetly, and was just wondering
who she was, when she came over and
whispered in his ear: ooh! I'll fix You
ives h;s , U; '" III N"o" II
Why is a married printer generally a
great sluggard? Because he is fond of
his bolster. and his "form' is so fire.
quently oppressed" upon the ''bed,v and
lies so lono covered with sshoets,, and
"blankets, and his "skin'''and cribs, be-
come "worn OUT and he generally bast
a "companionn by his side.
A Prairie CITY Girl went into a drug
store to'buy some tafTy tolu chewing
gum. The clerk. who wanted TO be
sociable, remarked to her: ats a |
pretty warm day." "You beccher life :"
She exclaimed; / hccred that it was 200 |
degrees below zero" Prairie CITY
ought 10 be a good place for the festive |
summer boarders.
she was Young andipeautilnl; ne was
saueezed Il tenderlv. and then She mt
ont her tongue at him. Then he laid |
his hand gently on her breast. She
was eiph,een and he was seventy. Int
still If wss affection ofthe heart. q YES
il was. Her heart was affected. and he
was doctor, trying to see how far the
mischief had conc.