The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1881-08-27
BICYCLE EXERCISE.
Mr.. Spoopendyke Purchases n Machine and
Makes n Mile q Minute.

BICYCLE EXERCISE.
Mr.. SpooPendyke Purchases a Machine and
Makes n Mile q Minute.
Nov, my dear" said Mr.. Spoopendyke, hur
rying up to his wife's room, "if you'll come
down in the yard I've got pleasant surprise
for you"
"What IS its" asked Mrs. spoopcndyke
"what have you got, horsey"
Guess again" grnned Mr.. Spoooendyke
ITS something like horse"
N know It's new parlor 'rpe, That's
what ilis!'
mo, 1t isn't either. | SAID it's something
like horse; that Is, 1t goes when you make
II. Guess again.
"Is it paint for the kitchen wallsg" asked
Mrs. Spoopendyke, innocently.
mo, it Amt and 1t amt hogshead Of stove
backing, nor it amt set o! dinng-rOOm fur
niture, nor it amt seven gross of stationery
washtubs Now guess agsln."
"Then it must be some lace curtains for the
sitting room windows. Isn't that Just splen
didy aud Mrs. Spoopendyke pstted her hus
band on both cheeks and danced down and
down with delight.
"Its o bicycle, that's what it isl" growle1
Mr.. SpOOpendyke. II bought it for exercise
and I'm gong to ride it. Come down and
see me-"
"Well, amt glad" calculated Mrs. Spoo
pendyke. you ought To have more exercise
and If there's exercise in anything it's IN a
bicycle. Do let's see it!'
Mr.. SpOopendyke conducted his wife to the
yard and descanted at length on the merits OF
the machine.
I'm a few weeks III be able to make mile
q minute" he said, rs he steadied fhe appara
tus against the clothes post and prepared Ia
mount. Now, you watch me go to the end
OF this path.
He got foot into one treadle and went head
6rst into flower patch, the machine on top
with a prodigious crash.
Hadn't you better tie it up to the post I'm.
III you get ON y suggested Mrs. Spoopendyke.
leave me alone, will ye!" demanded Mr..
epoopendyke, struggling To an even keel.
I'm doin' most o. this myself. Now yon hold
on and keep your mouth shut. 1t takes lit
tie practice, that's ALL"
Mr.. SpoOpendyke mounted again and scut.
tied along four or five feet and Topped over
on the grass plat
"Thal's splendid" commended his wife.
"You've got the idea already. Let me hold
it for you This time
III you've got any extra strength you hold
your tongue, will yer?' growled Mr.. SpOO.
pendyke. 1T won't want any holding II
aint alive. Stand back and give me room.
now"
The third trial Mr.. Spoopendyke ambed 10
the end Of the path and went down all IN II
heap among the flower pots.
"Thats just too lovely for anything!" pro-.
claimed Mrs. Spoopendyke. You made
more'n mile minute that time!"
"Come and take 1t off, roared Mr.. Spoo-
pendyke. Help me upl Blast the bicycle |"
and worthy gentleman struggled and plunged
around like hale IN shallow water.
Mrs. SpoOpendyke assisted III rightlng him
and brushed HIM off
II know where you make your mistake"
said she. THE lIlile wheel ought To 90 first
like buggy. Try 1t that way gong hack"
Maybe you can ride this bicy Gle better han
I can!' howled Mr.. Spoopendykc. you
know all about wheels! What yon need now
is lantern in your mouth and len minutes
behind time to be the City Hall clock! Don't
you see the big wheel has got 10 20 tirsty"
"Yes, dear" murmured Mrs. Spoopcndykc,
"but thought if you praciced with the llltlc
wheel at first, you wouldn't have So far to tall"
"Who iellg" demanded MIR. Spoopendykc
"Didn't you see me step off? trIpped; that's
all. Now you just watch me 90 hack"
Once more MIR, Spoopendl Ike started in, but
the big wheel turned around anu looked him
in the face, and then began To stagger.
Look outr' sQuealed Mrs. Sp0opendyke.
Mr.. Spoopendy Ike wrenched away and kick
ed and struggled, but it was Of oavail. Down
he came, and the bicycle was "A hopeless wreck
"Whatd ye want TO yell for:" he shr'ked
Couldn't ye keep your mouth shut? Wat
dye think y'are, anyhow, fog horn? bod
CAST the measly blcy clew and Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke hit it a kick that folded him up like u
bolt of muslin.
"Never mind. my dear" counseled Mrs.
Spoopendyke, I'm afraid the exercise was
too violent, anyway, and I'm rather glad you
broke it,"
81 s'pose So" snorted Mr.. Spoopendyke.
There's $50 gone"
"Don't worry, love. I'll go without The car.
pets aud curtains, and the paint will do wei
enough In the Kitchen. Let me rub you With
arnica"
But Mr.. Spoopendyke was too deeply grievcd
by his wife's conduct to accept any office al,
her hands, preierrIng to punish her by letting
his wounds smart rather than to get WELL and
thereby relieve her of any anxiety she brought
on herself by acting so outrageoasly under the
circumstances.
Escaping from Siberia.
But two men within the last century, It is
said, condemned TO hard labor IN the mines of