The sun., 1881-01-30
Shall He Ask Her to Marry Him

Shall He Ask Her to Marry Hint
Whether 1t is worth mans while to ask
a woman of whom he is enamored to marry
him, is really question he ought to be able
to settle for himself II he is talking Of
buying horse. the advice Of dsinterested
friend who is o good judge OF horsefiesh
may prove valuable to him In selecting n
sound animal. But when it comes to select
ing a wife, the case Is very different. The
advice OF all his friends may prove quite
useless to him.
The horse he proposes to buy Is not
party to tho bargain. 1t is unable to ex-
press its opinion Of him, and it cannot indi-
cato whether it prefers him or another man
for purchaser. The feelings Of the horse
are not consulted in the matter. But what
are tho feelings toward him Of the woman
he would marry, it is his business to learn
before he asks her to be his wife. 1t is her
judgment no must consult, not other pco-
pies; for they may express the soundest OF
| opinions, and yet she will throw them all
away as worthless aud impertinent.
man courts woman to little purpose II
| he does not get indications OF her feelings
| toward him before she has made explicit
| confession OF them in answer to the mo-
| mentous question. But there are men who
cannot muster up courage to meet their fate
because they are not sure what it is going to
be. They are afraid of possible rejection.
Such fellows, il they are married at all,
arc apt to be married to women who take
tho business OF courting off their hands, and
settle for them the question they are too
timid themselves to decide.
Ono OF these doubtful, timorous swains
writes in this wise to THE Sun for advice:
"sR For several weeks have known Joc.srA she is
gcntewomnn OF the most delightful presence handsome
witty and accomplished She plays well upon the piano.
sings with some egance, and speaks French with a
degree OF huency have treated her to the sights
the town; the play several times to the opera
and the Hddes at Nj DELsoSico restaurant But
standing she is still cold and repulses all my
| modest advances
FOR some time past have entertained the idea Of
asking my wife gcntlcm posse sscd OF
good estate, and would gladly offer 1t to JocAsrA did
she but little encouragement but knowing her
be beauty of the most approved sort who de
horses chariOts and large income. have hesitatcd
rather than be rebuficd In my adventure There
number OF gentlemen who are posse sscd Of larger
income and better estate than and knowing JocAsrA
to be Of an ambitious mind have hcsated to propose
the mometous que son 10 her and now, being
tleman Uf good birth and condition. and handsome es-
tate ask TO give advice 10 whether is
worth my while to ask this young lady TO be the wife OF
| your most humble obedient servant. CA,siso,
"P. s.-JocAsrA is ono of the most beautiful OF her
charming sex Her complexion is OF dazzling white,
where the OF her checks contradict the pre-
vai!ng rallo Of her skin Her like sloes. and
her hair is Of the color OF the ravens wing Her face l..
pure aud perfect oval and for her form-but will
undertake TO describe It,"
From the style OF our correspondent g
letter we judge him to be n man OF affccta-
tions, and very silly affectations, which are
not likely to command the respect OF
JoCAsTA, if she is sensible woman, worth
the winning as wife. An affected man is
apt to make himself ridiculous in tho eyes
OF q maiden, and so to spoil all his chances
OF gaining her afIectionate regard.
In the first place, there Is no justification
for talking of gentlewomen in this country
, Tho term is one which the silly purists o
the EceninO Post may use, but it is a snob
J bish importation belonging to en- aristo
J cratic society not natural to us.
What does our correspondent and wha
does the Ecening Post mean by gentle
woman? In England it has a very deilnit,
meaning, where n gentlewoman Is q woman
born OF the gentry or married into a family
, of the gentry, so called; and it is applied tt
, none other. 1t is decidedly more restricted
) in its signiilcation than the term gentleman
, except when that is used in legal docu
9 ments. Gentleman has become, In thi'
, country certainly, general term, anc
r every man who wears good clothes is print
1 faeie gentleman. Whether man has th
8 qualities which distinguish the ideal gen
) tleman is another question, and only thos
who know him intimately are capable o
deciding it. And the general feminine tern
0 which corresponds to gentleman is lad,
I with u.s. 1t means little or nothing definite
a like the masculine term. 1t can be used vcr'
4 Unfortunately and no one Is deceived.
: Gentlewoman, however, has narrowe
: Specification, and it does not belong in a re
o publican democracy. Neither, for that mat
n ter, should the terms gentleman and lad,
o DO used here as freely as they are now
t Plain man and woman are better, and if tn
: individuals to whom they are applied hav
y distinguishing qualities thoy can be indl
t Gated. II people do not like the term lady
t they do not better things at all by talkin,
t OF gentlewoman. They only resort to al
: aflectation, and introduce term foreign L
s our society.
q II this beautiful and accomplished youn,
q woman, JoCAsTA. is engaged in making a
n inventory OF the possessions OF her swain
= In order to decide which OF them she shal
: take and with view to gntting tho richest
" we advise our correspondent to withdra,
d from the number OF her suitors. Before dc
d ing so. however, he will consult the dictate
i OF good taste and good sense by omttlng t
n talk about his "estate" " and his birth an
. condition." either to her or to anybody else
y We hope for his sake that his progenitor
II were honest people, and that they lai
!, something by for his benefit; but it is fa
h more important that he himself should b
t honest, and capable OF supporting wife
l. The American stock came almost entlre
l. from the ycomonry and the poorer people G
% Europe, and such terms us our correspondent
n usoa ~ not Npply 10 thoir dNsnnMdnnts