The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1881-05-19
MR- NPO0pENDYKE.
He Explains 10 hIs spouse the opera
lions OF the Weather BuFeau.

He Explains 10 HIS spouse the opera
IiOnS OF the Weather BuFeau.
Brooklyn Eagle.
81 see" said Mrs, spoopendyks, As che
laid the paper down, ~ see that we are tC
have rising, followed by falling barometer
with northeast to southwest winds, and
higher to lower temperature, with clear OF
partly cloudy weather, and light rains
How is 1t that they contrive IN tell 90 &C
Curately about the weather? Do you IN
dsrstsnd III"
"Certainly," replied Mr., spoopsndyke,
"they do It by observation. They have 1
man out West observing, and man down
East who observes, and fellowa observing
around in different parts Of the country,
They put all their observations together,
and we know Just what it's going to do"
~ suppose that's what makes the wind
SO different every morning, when one
mans temperature 10 rising, another's ID
falling; and when one Is clear, all the rest
are partly cloudy with"
mo, they aia't, Each observer sends
In what he observes, and then the chief
makes up his mind from those reports
what the weather will be. Gan you
undsrstAndW
"Perfectly," said Mrs. spoopendyks,
rubbing her elbows. "It one sees the
barometer rising, another sees II falling;
and it's cold in one place and cloudy In
another, they all say 80, But | should
think when one hits 1t right the others
would be awful mad"
"WhGt would they get mad ahout2' de-
manded Mr.. Spoopendyke. "You don't
imsgine that they oil get together and
light 1t out, do you? They take the
weather from different points and COM
bine II, and then they parcel 1t out among
the different regions. For instance, II Il
SHOWS In the East and Ii warm 10 the
West, they strike an average for the lake
region, Now what Ia. the average between
heat and snow2"
"Raln," cried Mrs. spoopendyke, de.
lighted with her ssgaCity. ~ see how II
10 now. They take what Is usually going
on, and equalize 1t oil over the country.
Pm glad the Democrats weren't elected"
Nv hat have they got to do with Il? Do
you think q barometer is q Politician"
mo. But II the Democrats had been
elected they would have changed It all,
wouldn't theyH And the South would
have got the best share. That's what the
Repub-"
got no more to do with II than you have.
You've got an idea that they throw the
baromeLers and observers into one ED oil
a steam engine and the weather comes out
OF the other. They don't make weather.
The weather makes itself. It's the only
seltsupporting thing about the Govern.
ment. Aud these signal men only watch
1t, and tell what it's going to be-"
II suppose when these observers all get
together and talk 1t over, that 1t Is called a
storm center, isn't III"
"Thats It," shouted Mr.. Spoopendyke.
"You've got the weather now. All you
want Ia your name painted on the handle
and the spring broken to be an umbrella.
They don't talk II over; they tell what
they know, and 1t 10 fixed up In Washing.
ton. They agree on 1t there, and then tel.
egraph 1t all over the country. A storm
center travels around everywhere. It Ia
generally made in Manitoba, and then
sent down here"
"How wide Is III" asked Mrs. Spoopen.
dyke, deeply interested. because, II Il
isn't too big, should think they might
stop T."
feet Just about as wide as your measly
Information. How're they going 10 stop
III Spose II travels on o railroad train Z
Think It jaws the Bleeping.Car conductor
because there's only an upper berth left Z
Well Il don't. II hires a horsel" howled
Mr.. Spoopendyke, land the only way to
stop II Is TO build fence around It. There
was some talk about burning the last one,
but the wood was wet
"Well, my dear, YOU needn't get angry
about IT," said Mrs, Spoopendyke, geoth.
inRly. II only thought there might be
some way they could make some arrange
menta aboutit. Think storm centers are
horrid, and the observer In Manitoba must
have hard time. II he has 10 observe
much Ia the winter, he must be nearly
frozen"
"Does any human being know what
you're thinking about2" raved Mr.. Spoop
endyke. "D1 you s'Pose he goes
around with spy glass looking behind
roCks2a Think he prOwls around oil night
with q dod.gaSted lantern, hunting up
storm eenters? Got an idea that he runs
around under the bed with o broom, like q
measly woman know OF, and when be
catches center, pulls him out by the leg
and observes him2 He don't do nythinp
Of the sort. He has them 'em In to spend
the evening with him, and he gets 'em
drunk, and finds what they're up to. IN
derstand II now? All you want 10 do Ii
to whit around twice and squeak nighti
To- be weather.vane."
~ don't know how they did IT," quott
Mrs. SpoopeBdyke, conplacenuy, "out
see now. 1.-THE Pfohibitionists had beer
elected he couldn't have done that, ant
we would have been In a bad way. Nov
that understand II I'll learn the indica
lions every morning. How does baron
eter rise and iall?"
"With jaCk.scteMs, dod gast III" thun
dered Mr.. Spoopendyke. "Sometimel
they haul II up with stump machine
then they drop q carpenters shop on II
When II gets very low they blow Il al
With gun cotton. Once In Dakota IL go
90 high they had 10 dig hole and ram
down with q spils.dFiVer. Got Il now
Begin 10 see through III What you meet
Ia box Of pills and Conundrum 10 be Of
almBnscl"
And Mr.. spoopehdyks jumped out o
the house like conicAl thot, and banged
the door sfIef him.
az never quite understood Il before,
soliloauized Mrs. spoopendyke, specula
ling whether she would put the plume Of