The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1881-06-08
VARIETIES.

tremens."
IF a man is determined to do the |
hest he can, whether he drives cart,
conducts business of a million
dollars, or breaches the gospel he
cannot fail.
Some writer has aptly remarked;
"Take a company OF boys chasing
butterflies, put long tailed coats on
the boys, and turn the butternies
into dollars, and they have hne
panorama of the world"
ooh, give me anything made OF
beans, :" Exclaimed Boston man taken
sick in the West, when asked what
he would have to eat. They obeyed
his request. They gave him castor
oil.-PhiladeloIia Chronicle.
He had one son hanged, another in
the San Quentin Penltentlary, and
bis wife had elcped with chrome
pealer. "Have you any family he
was asked by fellow passenger.
None to speak Of" was the prompt
retort.
A Boston paper says that 'May is
one of the unlucky months for mar
riages." The other unlucky months
are June, July. August, September,
October, November, December, jan
uary, February, March and April"
Chicago Tribune.
Educated Christian womanhood is
the consummate flower of a Christian
civilization. He who puts his money
or his work into the cause OF Chris
tian education for women does the
best thing possible tor his country
and his race.
"Ned," she said tolhim, !pensively,
in tone implying total lack OF con.
fdence in herself, 81 don't think |
can ever be to you what your first
wife was" "Great Caesar, Mary !"
was the enthusiastic response, "if l
thought that I'd marry you to-mor-
row." ~.e
A Utica clergyman, in lecture on
GLOW to get Married." said :. every
man wants wife, and every woman
wants husband" But the great Dit
fculty, Mr.. Clergyman, is that1the
woman the man wants won't have
him, and the man the woman wants
wants some other woman.
A minister, while marrying a
couple recently; was rather dlscon-
certed on asking the bridegroom If
he was willing to take the young
lady for his welded wife, by his
scratching his head and saying :"Yes,
Pm willing but I'd much rather
have her sisler.-PrOUiCte,oce STIR.
A young lady was overheard telling
a FREUD the other evening that she
was ''dreadfully put out" because her
pa had rented pew in the thlrd row
from the pulpit, and she couldn't see
the fashion worth a cent without
twisting her neck off almost. 'There's
no pleasure in going to church any
more," she says.
A Western writer says: Whenever
you see a lady, especially if she be
middle aged, and more especially i
she be dark. featured, wearing
heavy coating of lily white, one o
the conclusions is that she has beer
shaving, although it is not the onS.
inference. One thing is CERTAIN
LADY, who shaves must use powder II
large quantities. and there are man.
ladies who shave.
In christian family of our ac
auaintance a servant came to tn
door of the lady at 3 o'clock Oh
afternoon and said: "What is, ther
for me to do now ?" $50 Hp stair
and rest" answered the lady. LII
GIRL looked hurt and went ava.
Months atterward she said, when sh
came to know the lady better:
thought you were displeased with m
q on that day. Nobody ever told IL
: to rest before in all the years hay
, been at service" The servant ha
S caught a glimpse OF true Chrlstif
y thoughtfulness.
e Outrage by policeman; Sa
e Johnsing was up again yesterda
!. "What brings you here this time
4 asked the recorder. DE pelicema
t. de same what brung me heah Ia
~ time" 81 mean what did you DO
1T II was jest passin' a grocery sto
IN when l struck my head agin hs
is that was hanging by the dore.
So tuck de ham down to put 1t son
v. whares whar it would be safe, ir'
I'd folks bursting their brains out a!
ey it, when de fust l knowd peril
es man tried to get de ham away tr
ok me, and bekase l wouldn't let de D.