Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1881-10-07
OLD JERRY.
The Way He Was Beaten and Why
He Wants Martial Law Declared

Several days ago old Jerry established
a small restaurant, furnished with two
pine tables and four benches. 1t WAS
designed for colored people. and in
order 10 attract that class Of custom
the Old man hung out sign bearing this
piece of intelligence: Fried Catfish. ;"
Next day malicious rival rubbed out
the fish. leaving the world TO infer
that the old man sold fried cat; and
then entering the restaurant. sat down
and asked
Gin me some of de yaller species. =
Il doan grapple de termination oh
yer adyerbS, sab, replied the proprie-
tor.
Gin me some of the fine fur sort. =
! er verb fingers too much in de
| shade ob de proper noun"
GIN me spring kitten"
Ter leab grammar an come down
70 rithmetic, l doan grab the mulpliea-
ton table oh what yer's irwin fer cit
through yer"
Yer sign says dat yer's got fried cat ::
wants spring kitten.
Cat iish. sab, my sign remarks
Bet yer hosS agin yer 'stablish-
ment dat de sign says fried cat widout
de fish
An right. De restaurant is up.
Pc hoss is under de shed wonder
fer's man Of honor. 50 is |. Now
let's eide the question.
When the old man looked At the
sign he threw up his hands, hardened
by toll and wrinkled by wears. "De
Establishment is yer own" lie said His
rival Joyously acknowledged thewilling
ness with which the old man surren-
dered the property, when Jerry re-
marked:
"Willin ness hepits wiIl;r',,ss H.,
hit?" :, - ''e''''
'l erself is a tiosifer, ole man"
But Is my statement crecked9''
"Nas. sab. Id stake my arthly
sessions on dc truth oil vcr ohserva
ton"
Wal, den, sense yer'S So willin' ter
take my restaurant, I'll show an equal
wllln ness ter take yer hoss. I'sc a
needn NV hosS morn is Il restau-
rant, an AS lse got bridal handy IN
take the hoSs an go out 'lectioneerin
iur some future ttfice." And before
the rival could recover from his sur-
PRISE, the old man had mounted the
horse. But when he did recover. he
rushed up, caught him by one leo and
dragged him to the ground. 4 lively
hight ensued, and occasionally through
a cloud of dust bystanders could see
that rheumatism had taken sides
against Jerry. When the two men had
been separated. Jerry went 10 the state
house, and walked, unannounced. into
the executive chamber.
''Gubner, he said, Use got mighty
tine case fur Yer dis time, and he ex-
planned the cause Of his visit. II
wants the military to take charge oh
dis case. Der civil authority. which is
myself, fur Use always civil, hab foun'
itself unable TO git away wild dis man.
Now, sab | wants yer ter point me
major oh de militia, declar martial law
IN de vicinity ob de trouble, order me
on active duty an let me draw So a
day till dis trouble is settled"
The governor explained that the
matter belonged to the civil DEPART
ment of the state.
But civil means hab bisI 'zansted.
| was mighty civil ter dat man. De
military is intended to perteck de civil
tharities, de law says. Wall, den, SEN
de 'turney ober dar an let me draw my
So day as major till he gets through
wild de case. No, did heah yer say?
All right, sab. Bout O'Clock dis
ebenin' ef yer hears a gun fire an i
holler, jes cum ter de clusion dat mar
tIal law hab been declared. Good day,
sah."