West-Jersey pioneer., 1881-07-07
THE MINISTER'S COW.

THE MINISTER'S COW.
1t is good thing for minister to ''stick to
his text" But if he is tied to it, it may
run away with him, especially if it goes on
all fours An exchange tellsth droll story
of a clergyman's experiment and how it
ended.
Some years ago there lived in Central
New York a very worthy but eccentric di-
vine known as Rev. Goss. He had a hired
man named Isaac, who always obeyed Or
ders without question.
Rev. Goss bought COW one day which
droved refractory when mlked, refusing to
surrender the lacteal fluid, although Isaac
used all the persuasive arts of which he was
master. He finally reported her delinquin-
cies to his master
ssWel, Isaac" said he, ego to the barn
and get those pieces of new rope" Isaac
obeyed; the COW was driven to the stable,
tied with piece of rope, when the Kew.
came out armed with knife.
"Now he explained to Isaac, 81 will get
on the cows back, and you tie my feet be-
meath her, then you go on with your milk
ing, and with my weight upon her, she must
give down her milk"
Isaac obeyed; the feet were tied, the pail
got and the milking commenced.
But bossy objected and plunged wildly
| about Tho c+oh1o lOw and the Rev 70
head was fearfully thumped.
"Oh, Isaac, Isaac" bawled hes ''cut the
rope"
Isaac seized the knife and cut, not the
rope which bound the minister's feet, but
the one that tied the COW. The stable door
was open, also the yard gate.
Away darted the frantic cow, the terrified
man on her back hopelessly roaring, Stop
her, stop her,"
While madly careering down the road he
met parishioner, who excitedly called,
"Why, Mr.. Goss, where are you going 9"-
sOnly God and this COW knows" he
groaned, 81 don't"
The animal was finally caught, and the
|
Two LITTLE FICTIoNs.-In the beautiful
marriage service of the Episcopal Church
there are two indiscretions. The bride
promises, unqualiiedly, to obey, and the
new husband says, ''With all my worldly
goods thee endow,'' but he does not do
ANYTHING of the kind in law, and therefore,
there is no use in this part of solemn con-
tract, which is not a contract that holds.
She will take third of his goods, usually,
if she survives him; and, in life, just as
much as he chooses to divide. In a true
partnership of marriage there is no need OF
this pledge, and it is never held of the
slightest account in any other sort of mar
riages. Perhaps it might be reasoned from
this that the bride is only bound to carry
out third of her peculiar vow, that is, to
obey her husband once in three times only,
and take her own Judgment for the other
two Setting aside her own right to her
opinion, nobody expects wife to obey un-
oualifiedly dissolute or a drunken hus-
band; or if he should grow weak minded or
wicked, she is distinctly bound not to obey
him, for the sake of her little children, very
often, and sometimes for her own. Yet the
VOW is to hold in sickness and in health, and
in moral sickness too The most sacred
of all pledges that human beings can make
to each other should not have any doubtful
or false points in it. The Quaker marriage
vow, and at least one other service, get rid
of this difficulty, and yet marriage dissen
sions are rare, and divorces next to unheard
of, among the Friends.
ENTERTAINING CoMPANY.-The whole
philosophy of hospitality is summed up by
Emerson in the following: 81 pray you, 0,
excellent wife, not to cumber yourself or me
to get rich dinner for this man or woman,
who has alighted at our gate, nor bed
chamber made ready at too great cost
These things, if they are curious in, they
can get for dollar at the village. But lei
this stranger see, if he will, in your looks,
in your accent and behavior, your heart ano
earnestness, your thought and will, what he
cannot buy at any price, at any village OF
city, and which he may we'll travel 30 miles
and dine sparingy and sleep hard. in ordel
to behold. Certainly let the board be spreae
and the bed be dressed for the traveller, bu
let not the emphasis of hospitality be ir
these things. Honor to the house where
they are simple to verge of hardship, SO thai
the intellect is awake and sees the laws ol
} the universe, the soul worships truth ant
) love, honor and courtesy flow into al
: Deeds" One of the greatest comforts O
} having home should be that in it we have
place for friends and even strangers
$ rooms, to more than supply the needs of ths
family and extra 'seaves'' to the extension
: table. The secret of true hospitality, al
. Emerson has stated, is in it's coming from
: the heart.
s Two Cincinnati ladies, who had latel.
f returned from trip abroad, were exchang
t ing opinions in reference to the famous pic
lures they had seen. Solve me the Recon
4 ,o;eso,oa col,ool of art >, axelaimed One. stSt