The Owosso times. (Owosso, Mich.) 18??-1882, 1881-12-16
The Wrong Ashes.

| ne was Jolly-lOOklnS mdn, WlCn u
round corporation, burgundy-tinted
nose, and the general exterior of con-
tented mind, and as he entered the
editorial den he offered us good cigar,
Lit another, and said
SLOW about this local cremation
scheme?"
"Well, how yourselfp"
"The fact is," said the stranger, re-
tiectively, 81 had pretty tough ex-
perience with one of these cadaver
roasting concerns once, and 1 thought
mebbe you might like to make an item
of the facts so as to warn the people
here in time"
"Fire away"
"Well, you see, it was in New Or
leans. My wife died there, and as a
cremation company was having good
deal of a boom there just then, she
made me promise to have her spirit
sent up through their flue, as it were.
Said she thought it would be nice and
melancholy for me to carry her ashes
around with me wherever went--in d
vase you understand"
"And yon complied?
"Why, yes. 1t was fer last wish,
you know, and besides 1 thought it
might be useful in kinder preparing her
for the here-but never mind that, now.
/ sent the remains round to the COM
pany's Office in push-cart, got a re-
ceipt, saw Marie touched off, so to
speak, and two days after that they re-
turned to me beautiful majolica jar
full of ashes, scented with forget-me-
not, and the stopper tied in with pink
ribbon"
"That was pretty"
"Yes, was very much pleased at
first but had to keep the bottle out of
sight after while, though, because
people were all the time opening the
ar, under the impression that it con
tanned preserved ginger or chow-chow,
or something"
"That must have been unpleasant"
"Urpleasant-well, should smile
1 mean, 1 should weep. Why, actually,
one day while l was living in New
York, came home and found new
servant girl polishing knives with the
remains-just think of it.
Terrible, sir, terribleI"
"But, what l was going to say was
this. About a year after my wife was
kiudled-I mean cremated-I was in
New Orleans again, and happened to
meet the superintendent of the re-rac-
tory ere-I should say the corpse-burn-
ing furnace--at banquet, and he got
so full that / had to see him home.
On the way we stopped in place or
two for steadier-you know how it is
and the result was that he got very
communicative about his mpany-in
fact gave the whole business away"
"Did, eh?"
Eyes, sir; he squarely owned up that
they didn't barn the bodies at all. He
said they just dropped 'em through a
hole in the bottom Of the furnace, took
'em out the back way at night, and sold
'em to the medical students"
"Gracious! And the ashes."
"Mule ashes, sir; nothing but mule
ashesl They would just cut up some
old mule carcass, the superintendent
said, pitch in enough to make a bad
smell, and then sell the ashes to the
grief-stricken relatives at $25 bottle.
Terrible cheeky, now; wasn't itp"
"And all this time you had"
"Had been carrying that old jar OF
mule ashes all over the country. Just
imagine how mean / felt"
"You threw it away thenp"
swell no." said the widower, as he
winLed tear out of his left eye; "the
more l studied over the matter. the
more 1 concluded that mule ashes
weren't so much out Of the way after
all. You see, poor Maria was an aw.
full stubborn woman-t-r-e-m- end.
Gus stubborn-and-yes, 1 kinder
thought mule ashes would do mighty
near as well, all things considered"
And having the resigned sigh of one
who had succeeded in bracing up un
der great sorrow. the anti-cremationist
smiled softly, Lit another cigar, and
walked out.-De,vfck Dodd.