The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-05-12
Susnected the LAWYER,

The law provides defender for every arraign-
ed criminal, no matter how well known ms
crime, but it will not do fer bad mans coun-
selnr TO try to make his crime joke, and try TO
ridieuIe il out of court. Such a course fairly
leaves the lawyer himself open to distrnst.
Counselor Higgins, of the State Of, was
exceedingly adroit in defending prisoner and
would sometimes laugh down an indictment for
n small Offense. fellow Zone Smith) being on
trial for stealing turkey, the counselor attempt
ed to give n good, human turn TO the aiiaIr.
"Why, gentlemen of the jury said he, this Is
really a very small affair. | wonder any one
could bring such complaint into court. If we
are going on at this rate, we shall have business
enough our hands"
Higgins then alluded to the 'iforaging eXpedi-
tons of his college days, and the boys thought
it no harm TO take poultry here and there once
in n while, when they wanted a sly supply. Bat
notwithstanding this appeal, the jury convicted
After the Court arose, one of the jury, plain
old farmer meeting the counselor, cOmplimented
him on his ingenuity.
"And now, Squire said he, fixing n rather
knowing look upon him, al should like TO ask
yOu one question: Which road do you take, in
going home-the upper or the lower onef"
"The lower" said the counselor.
''Well, then, it's no matter. ] only wanted to
observe that if you were going my way, wOuld
just jog on before you, and lock upmy hen-house."
A MORMON FuSERAL.-Mrs stenhouse, in her
lecture on Mormon life told the funny story of
Sister Picknel's funeral. The following was
Bishop Hardy's sermon:
oval, bruthrun and sisters, you are all here,
] s'pOse. and so Wen begin. Wal, sister is
dead (; let her rest. Our sister has suffered and
made others suffer, but now she's dead, well let
her rest. She opened the door TO the devils and
let them in five years ago when her husband
took his young wife. j told her then they would
kill her if she did not take care, and now they've
done it. She was n torment to her husband, and
guess If he'd knOw'd that she'd bin such n
torment he'd never married her. Amt that so,
Brother Pickneli'
Chats so, Bishop"
oval, Brother Picknel, have You got anything
to sayf'
''Not rs know'd on, but s'pOse ! Ought to
say sum'at, and if do shall he sure to offend
some of the sisters, 50 s'pose we'd better close
the mectin'." This ended the funeral service
COOP HIr.-The Cincinnati Times opens richly
in the joke-telling line. The following anecdOte
of skin-flint is not badly done:
A certain tight-fsted old cOdger of this city
happened in at Fosters Philosophical Instrument
Mandatory, a few weeks since, where he was
shown the Lords Prayer engraved in q space
about the size of five cent piece, at which he
was very much pleased. Returning home he re-
lated the circumstance to his family, and prod
igal ~ son coming into the sitting room, the
following ensued:
"My son, would you suppose the Lords Prayer
eonld be engraved in space no larger than the
area of halfdme 7"
''Well-yes, father, if n half-dime is as large in
everybOdy's eye as it is in yours think there
would be no difficulty in putting it on about
four times"
NEGRO WIT-There is a tradition that one of
the old EsIuires in Maiden, Massachusetts,, had
q slave who had been in the family until he was