The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1881-08-07
Tne ysusg Lawyers Fsrs. Case
usr WHAT rHg OLD FELLowsHAyE ALL BEEN
4uR0r0H.
Irrom th, Qnincr lIll.l AIFI


from the Quincy tIll.l AGO
The young lawyer conducting MS nTss
case before jury Is worthy OF tne deepest
are criminal court, before which be has
ease. While the prosecuting attorney Is
tyInQ the first witness into bow-knots ana
,ntying him again, the amateur sits us
feping. but endeavoring TO look as
unconcesned as marble statue IN
Thunderstorm. He throws TN timid once
eiops every time be thinks be sees noie,
and as each one IL overruled by the court
he nuts on stern look, as much as 10 say'
Uru knock the wind out OF that IN the ou-
nrerne Couiti" when the prosecutor,
nsnalIy An old, able attorney, dryly says,
aTake the Witness" the youthful aspirant
trembIes A little and endeavors to swallow
something that is sticking 10 bis throat. lie
feels that every eye In the room Is upon Nun,
and that they are as hot as stoVe.ilds. lie
fires a few questions OF the witness, end
warns ~ he proceeds until he is brought up
standing by, 'Oh your Honor, we object TO
such irrelevant questions" followed by
few scathlpg remarks from the prosecutor
The court sustainS the objection, ana ad-
yises the young lawyer TO keep within the
bounds, which SETS him to wondering whcre
IN thunder the bounds are. ODlectloh Iol-
lows objection, and each one Is promptly
sustained. He wonders why IL Is mat
free and independent people VIII tolerate
such one-slded justice. he lunges ahead
blindly now until he becomes so confused
that he does not know whether he
Is a practicing attorney with gilt
sign or q nv wheel on a steam wood
saw. Finally be runs out Of questions, and
with a sigh Of relief or something tells The
witness. "Tbsl's ALL" SO be grinds
through, and at last the prosecutor rises
and proceeds TO address the jury in mas
terIy style. As be progresses be picks up
the evidence adduced by the defence
into particles fine enough TO be ln-
corporated into Goldfish balls. The youth
ful Blackstone wrestler begins to feel
uneasy as bis mind reyerts TO the
fact that in few moments he must deliver
his maiden speech. He wishes the prose
cutor would hold his grip and keep 1t until
time TO adjourn court, feeling satisfied that
he could make O splendid speech the next
day after q nights fighting on the evidence.
He tries 10 remember what the witness
swore to, but cannot recall the evidence to
save his life. The prosecutor tOally Wlrds
up with a grand peIoration, and as be says,
"And in conclusion, gentlemen OF the
Jury" the youth nervOus'y fingers his
moustache, il he happens 10 have one about
him, and wishes he had never begun the
abominable business. Cold chllls are finger
ing him all over The back as II measuring him
for new shirt, and his spinal column acts
like it was tired aud wanted TO sic down a
while. Like BlpquO's ghost, the lump In
his throat won't down by an obstinate ma
iority, and he swallows at 1t and wonders
what he Is going to say, and bow long 1t
will take him TO say it. AS the prosecutor
calmly takes his seat the young lawyer rises
and moves to the front. lie dare not look
AT the audience, and tries 10 Imagine there
Is no one in the room but himself and The
twelve spinx.ike forms In the iury'box.
The eyes of each juror are fixed upon him,
and he would almost reliDquish his hope OF
Heaven II some one would raise cry OF
FIRE TO divert their attention until he
gets a start. Finally he shrugs his shout
ders and manages TO remark, "Gen-
tlenen OF the (swaIows) jury" Very
good. He then surveys them moment,
and every man in the box thinks he is en-
deavoring to read their thoughts; but he
isn't. He Is wishing TO gracious he could
read his own thoughts. At last be strikes
out and goes for them about their intelli-
geut looks, and now be feels that bis clients
Interests are safe 10 their hands. At the
same time be feels serious doubts as to their
ssiety In bis own hands. He worries
through his speech with an average OF two
swallows at that lump to the sentence.
The prosecutor closes the argument, ana
the case goes to the jury, who retire TO
q secluded room TO chew tobacco ana
ask each other Whist they thought OF 1t. 1t
so happened that the fllmsy testimony
against the accused warrants verdict OF
not guilty, whereupon the amateur grasrs
his clients hand, whispers, /" 1t was hard
fight, but l got you out OF 1t !" Then be
rises, loads up enough law books to swamp
a mud-scow, casts a triumphant look at the
prosecuting attorney, who smiles pleasantly
la return, and walks slowly and maicsticaily
down the aisle TO the door with as much
dignity as II he owned western railway.
oh, you can't deny 1t, even you old vete-
rams you've all been there!