The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1881-02-25
A STRANGE INTRODUCTION.

A STRANGE INTRODUCTION.
MUST, l suppose, introduce myself,
as have undertaken to bring a portion
of my history before the public, and
shall begin by telling my name and
state.
l, George Falconer, then, am one of
the members of the Civil Service whom
Punch SO unfairly ikened, some time
since, to the fountains in Trafalgar
Square, accusing us, like them, of "play-
ing from eleven till four daily" But
Mr.. Punch was for once mistaken, and
should be informed that we who thus
csriilu' serve our country have not the
easy times we are supposed to have.
Having relieved my mind by which pro-
test, will proceed with the narration
of my story. ......,.
"Well, then, being tired with a heavy
days work, I walked, perhaps some
what languidly, up Regent Street, MAX
ing for my rooms in Margaret Street,
where 1 knew I should find my dinner
awaiting me. It had been a sultry
August day, and London, with its slack
trade time and many suffered windows,
looked like a city of the dead.
Nobody was in town, which means
nobody worth knowing; and ]. was my
self longing to get away among the
grouse, or by the salt sea waves, to in
hale the briny, and blow off the. London
smuts and cobwebs, which gather alike
on mind and body; and indeed men
need this bracing-up of nerves and
sinews, to enable them to resist
the suicidal feeling engendered by
the London ,fogs. which are. to
follow-thick enough = to frighten
the Zulus, If they could only be
enveloped in them for q few hours. As
Isaid before, was tired, and longing
to get away for holiday. But my sem
iors had to be satisfied first, and I had
to await my turn; and that is why was
in the great metropolis when every one
else was gone, with the exception of q
few unfortunates like myself.
It was one of those days of leaden
heat, when the sun does not seem to
shine so brightly after all, nor to send
down scorching rays; yet when the very
fish in the Serpentine come to the sur
face and gasp when the psyements scar
your feet, and your boots feel several
sizes too small when to hold up an UNI
brella would be useless exertion and alb
surd, and it is impossible to find out
which direction the wind is in, for there
is not the faintest breath of air to indi-
cate it; when the weary cab-horses loll
out their parched and thirsty tongues,
with scarcely the energy to whisk the
tormenting flies from their harness gals !;
when one could drink the sea dry, if only
it were not salt! I had taken long
time walking home; but I was nearly
there at last; 1 had only to turn the cor
ner of the street, and within few doors
I should find one which fitted my latch
key-that l knew-when slight diver
sion occurred.
An elderly gentleman passing in .
hanson cab was frantically gesticulat-
ing to some one near me, but to whom I
could not imagine, as, on looking round,
saw no. one at all likely to be the IA
miliar acquaintance of the person In the
cab, who was an aristocratic- looking old
man. ,
One thing I felt sure about
could not be me he was signaling to, as
had never set eyes on his face before !;
and it was . face which, if seen once,
would not readily be forgotten. The
cabman was drowsy, and, having re-
ceived his orders where to drive, he was
enjoying sort of dogs sleep, with only
half an eye open, the faithful horse
chiefly guiding himself amid the not
very crowded traffic of the dull streets,
and not troubling himself to pass any
vehicle. which might be said to be trot-
ting. III IsssE EH3h a si5issE
/ couldn't resist q half smile at the
futile efforts of the gentleman to get the
driver to stop, and. thought for q mo-
ment of going to his rescue; but this
would have entailed exertion, and that
was out of the question on such q day.
And, after all, what business was it of
mine? The man might be q maniac for
all knew, grimacing at his own refec-
ton in the plate-glass of the shop win
dows. y8&g
turned my corner with the full in
tention of putting on my slippers and
white flannel boating jacket, and sitting
down to dinner looking more like mil
Ter or baker than respectable menu