Centre Democrat. [volume] (Bellefonte, Pa.) 1848-1989, 1881-04-07
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

/ \ put up Iob-Hanging up clothes.
Song Of the postage stamp" Gum,
oh gum with me"
All the boiler makcrs in Chicago
struck simultaneously on Tuesday. What
q dreadful din they mus. have made
! Fm Comh-ib~tm.
/ The late Senator Carpenters little
boy il quoted as saying: Il want to be
iiaekman, but | guoas I'll have to be
United States Senator"
. What is home whore love is notY'
asks susceptible young poet. It's a
mighty interesting place--to the neigh
bors.-Ne7r Hasen Register.
Since it was announced that President
Garfield is afflicted with an affection Of
the liver he receives about dozen pads
daily from admiring friends
Philip Sidney says they are never
alone who are accompanied with noble
thoughts. Editors always have q crowd
around them--Loareu Citizen.
An exchange speaks Of Chicago man
who has one foot IN the graye.~ Pre-
sumo it's all they could get in without
enlarging the cemetery BoSto,, Post.
at is harder to get ahead in this
world, said Clorinda's young man, as
her father assisted him out Of the door
with his boot, than It is to get foot"
on, nos am A. proud of thee
A. any mountain Of its SHOWS.
gaze on thee. and 'sel that JOY
Roman knows
- TebIAon..
4 go-as- you please match is sadly
needed for common use. This morning
we struck nine Of the ordinary sort be
/ fore one Of them ignited-Ne,r York
/ Nears.
Lives there a man with soul 20 dead
! who never to himself hath said: " Here
are five dollars which think | sill in
vest in printers ink. ."-.SIlhrdfer L,fna-
I ba-man.
The Burlington Hdrkcle saws that
lumberman Of that city has had his coat
of.arns painted on the panels of his car
riagc, with the Latin "Yidi." Which
/ 10y Interpretation is Il saw"
There are twelve thousand new words
I ready for the revised edition of Worces-
/ ter's dictionary. With such facilities
writers will have little difficulty in
making themselves nisundersiood.-
I Picaypne.
4 Hartford man sent a pair Of trousers
to his tailor TO be repaired. The tailor
found 5000 in a roll in his pocket and
returned It, receiving the thanks of the
owner therefor. When we send pair of
trousers TO our tailor to be reconstructed,
and he finds three hundred dollars in
the pocket and returns it, we always tell
him TO keep the trousers for his honesty,
which is the best policy NorvisfO,rn
Herald.
Smithington in recounting TO a friend
the advantages Of q house which he
wished to lease TO him said: YES, and
there is quite good garden connected
with the house" yes" said his
friend, Il can probably hire man TO
take care Of the garden for SIS or $40.
and can gather 81 or Ss worth Of
vegetables from it. That garden would
he a regular bonanza for me."-Ro7aa
Seatinel.
A paper does not cost much. That is
the reason why so many walk into an
Office, help themselves and walk out.
To prevent this little steal, IL is
veritably announced that a shrewd
editor trained parrot 10 watch visitors
to the Office. II one picked up paper
and attempted TO 60 off without paying
for it, the bird would sing ont, with
startling clcamess: "Stop thief stop
thief Hang it, bring that paper back,
or pay for it y BY this means the edi
tor receives nearly all the money for his
papers, which gives him quite q lift
Yoakzs SALESMAN.
HOTTEST plaee on Earth.