davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1881-12-22
WIT AND WISDOM.

flow man decides where he will
build his house-By lot.-LoweL
Courier.
If a fellow goes skating for the first
time he can never tell what's going to
turn up.-M y. Commercial Advertiser.
"A good meal for fast man-Hastv
pudding. Courier. A good
lunch for beat-Sponge cake.-Ia,O.
cob Strauss.
The force of habit for example has
no eject on the man in the moon. He
stays sober when the moon gets full
Chronicle Herald.
The man who stood in front of his
glass for two hours getting the right
color on his mustache, said he was just
"dyeing to see his girl" Ynaskers
Statesman.
I'm the fall the young mans fancy
lightly turns to thoughts of love; for he
thinks it would be handy to have some
one mend his glove. -Loweu Citizen.
The difference between defaulter
and thief is very simple. One steals
enough to hire good lawyers, and the
other DOM .-PA;tadelphiG NeUs.
-Scien tific men assert that the only
healthy way to sleep is with the head
to the north. No attention has been
paid to this by church architects, and
yet establishment is expressed at the
falling of in church attendance. -Je1as
Syaings.
There are mean men in this world.
aud occasionally there is one in the
farming community who will set up
barrel on his back piazza. just like
cider barrel, and let a tramp skirmish
for two hours for it to get dark enough
for him to crawl up to it. and when he
gets at it find it filled with Waterloo
ton Post. =.
-Vennor says it is going to be 30
cold next week that the oldest liar will
be unable to cite . parallel to it. Con-
versely, this reminds you of Luther
Benson's description Of Hades. old
style, 1.-THE place where it is SO hot it
you were to hand man q spoonful of
molten iron, he would swallow it glad
ly and think it was ice-cream." -Bu,-
ingtoss HdUkeye. -w -.
See the Fish. The Fish is Trout
and Breathes through his Ears. He
lives in the Brook aud May be if you
try you can Catch him. Any little Boy
who catches so many Measles ought to
be Able to Catch one little Fish. The
Trout Weighs four Ounces, but you
can say he Weighs four Pounds. DO
not call him a Speckled Beauty or you
will be Shot. Eat him Head, Tail, In
wards and All, and got s-iittle Bond in
your Throat il your Can.-DeNrer 1rid-
upe Primer.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1881-12-22
Remarkable Experiences II IN Unfer.
tunate Nam.

Last week the Argus briefly chrunicled the
death Of Charles II. Fairchild, who WAS burned
to death in Auburn on Sunday morning. He
had . history paralleled by few, and seemed
to have been haunted by misfortune until his
very death. He was born in Columbia Coun-
~, where he lived until seventeen years old,
when he began sailors life, and lived on the
sea for twenty years, during which time he
travelled around the world three times. Once
he was shipwrecked and escaped with fifteen
others ON raft. They hoated for fifteen
days, during which time thirteen Of them
died, and he and his surviving companion had
nearly persisted from starvation and exposure
when picked up. At another time, when his
ship was cruising on the coast of Africa, he
and another sailor were washed overheard and
managed to reach the shore. There being
NO habitation near, they started inland, and
after travelling almost one hundred miles they
fell into the hands of the man-eaters. The
arrival Of the captors in the village was hailed
with demonstrations of joy and delight. They
were critically examined by the King, who
ordered them fattened and killed fol. his own
special consumption. They were hen re-
moved to stockade or pen, where for several
days they dieted on the choicest food the land
could produce. They thrived and grew fat,
but were constantly watching an opportunity
to escape, and finally succeeded. The natives
were very superstitious and terribly afraid of
thunder and lightning. A night OF two be-
fore they were to be killed one of these storms
occurred and the guards deserted their
posts and Fairchild end his companion
scaled the stoclkade which surrounded them.
Near by was river. They found a canoe, and
with it they escaped. They made their way to
the coast again, where they remainedeighteen
months before vessel made its appearance.
During his seafsring life Fairchild accumu-
lated about $4,000, which, upon settling in
Philadelphia, he deposited ina bank. A num-
Der of years after he decided upon moving to
New York and had his household goods packed
ready for shipment He drew his money from
the bank, intending to start for New York the
next day. That night the house in which he
lived burned down, and with it his money and
. ten-year-old daughter were burned, and the
rest Of his family barely escaped with their
lives. Afterward he moved to Syracuse, and
five years ago he went to Auburn to live, and
there came to his death by being burned with
benzine.-Albdny IN. " Argus.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1881-12-22
"A Small Bow once saw q Pin lyir

"A Small Boy once saw Pin lying
on the sidewalk, and, picking it Dip, he
placed it carefully in his Jacket. His
action was seen by q Rich Banker, who
took the Boy into his service. and in
time he was made Cashier of the bank
and stole all the Money. After he had
restored half of his plumber, and was
getting ready to 60 to Europe for his
Health, the Banker said to him: ''Why
did yol pick up that Pin. unless you
were the honest Boy / took you for?"
Z. Because" said the wicked Cashier,
had read that story when child. and
was locking for . Sucker to play the
garae ONT Chicago 1ribxne.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1881-12-22
Where the Train Was.

There were dozen of us waiting at
the station near Strasburg. Va, for the
noon train. Every one had cut his din
ner short to catch the train, but the
hour arrived-fve-ten-- min
utes passed, ard then every body won
dered what had happened. The ticket
agent was also the telegraph operator.
He was young fellow of abouttwenty,
ill-grained and supercilious, but impa.
thence overcame the fear of him, and a
woman stepped to the window and
asked:
''Is the train late?''
"Um!' he growled in reply.
'How late is itr'
"Umr'
That finished her, and she resumed
her seat. Five minutes more slipped
away, anG very solemn-looking man,
carrying a very solemn looking carpet
bag, advanced from his corner and be-
gan: 1859
''Train is late, isn't itp" -.
"Yes."
"How late is itp''
"Um." -....
whats the cause of it?''
No answer.
He hung around for minute longer
and then solemnly marched back to his
seat, and gave some enc else chance
to get blutfed. After the fifth one had
been turned away short, solid, griz-
zly-Leaded man who had been whiting
q single ON the platform and softly
humming 1--WE Won't go Home ill
Morning." entered the waiting room,
locked up at the clock, and then saun-
tered to the ticket window and queried:
"Whar' that tramp
The young nan was looking over
some freight bills, and he did not raise
his head.
"Whar' s--that--train?" repeated the
whittier, in louder voice.
The agent locked up for second,
but let his eyes fall without answer.
"Whar' s-that-train.' shouted the
passenger as he brought his fist down
on the shelf.
No answer. After waiting ten Sec
onds he walked out doors, turned to the
right and suddenly entered the ticket
Office through the freight house. Walk
ing straight up to the agent he reached
over the table and seized him, pulled
him across like a streak of lightning,
and as he gave him shake and jammed
him into q corner he called out:
"Whar in thunder and blazes is that
ar trainr'
"lt's a-coming?' gasped 1.-THE agent.
"When --whar--which!'
''ln about Twenty minutesr'
"What made 'er iater' j..
''The engine broke down at Win
che ster.'
"Then why in Crockett name didn't
yen say so in the fu>t place! young
man, take squar' look at me! ain t
purity nor genteel nor sanity, but m
plumb up and down and mean bizness!
When man asks me how hogs ar sell
ling I'm going to gin him q civil answer
if it cracks three ribs, and when ask
you why that dog-goned old bullgine
hasn't snorted in you We got to hear me
or down comes your trestle-works! Do
you catch on?''
yves certainly trains behind
time--be here soon-of c-course-yes--
of coursep'
Then the solemn man rose up, took
his hat in his hand and passed it around
for money, and we felt like raising a
million dollars for the solid man as q
token of our love and reverence
Detroit Free Press.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1881-12-22

b. II. RIDDLEBER0ER has received The
unanimous vote Of the Eeadjuster caucus Tor
Senator from Virginia.
A wELL-INFoRMED scout, the oldest In the
Government service, has rsported TO General
Pope that there win be an uprising Of the
Utes, Piutes and Navajoes in New Mexico in
the spring. The Indians on the Utah reserva-
ton, he says, are being freely furnished with
arms by the Mormons.
MISS KATE KANE, the Milwaukee woman
lawyer, has been admitted to practice in the
Wisconsin Supreme Court.
A FEW days ago Solomon Davis, . colored
lad Of fourteen, residing at Warrenton, N c.,
loaded his fathers musket and killed his little
sister because she insisted upon telling their
mother Of his theft of cold 'possum from the
pantry.
A FEW evenings ago band of robbers en-
tered the express car of Southern Pacific
train, near Ell Paso, Tex, Frustrated Messen-
ger Barnard with the butt of revolver, and
took from his safe 5000 in cash and 1000
in valuable property. As the train slowed up
at small station the thieves dropped of, and
crossed into Mexico.
THE Garfield Monument Committee of
Cleveland announces that residents of that
city have subscribed over $51, 600, and SO, 900
has been forwarded from various sections of
the country. The amount desired is $3.50, OOO
INTELLIGENCE was received at San Antonio,
Texas, on the 18th, that Chief Arragattie and
thirty Of his tribe had been captured by Mexi-
can troops, on the Northern Rio Grande
These constitute the main remnant of victo-
ria's band.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1881-12-22

Congressman S. s, Cox writes as fol-
lows from Jerusalem:
The old maratime plain of the Philis-
tines (Which is anather time for Pales-
tine) lay along this coast, from GAIA
northward, and it was considered q
land worth struggles. This Joshua
found. But in vain do we look for the
''roses of Sharon and the lilies that
grow in this land so renowned once
for its roseate beauty. Still, we are
told that in the vernal season it is car.
peted like Texas prairie with flowers
of various hue and loneliness. Along
the dusty afternoon road we pass innu-
merable caravans of camels, led by
Arabs on donkeys. The Arab general
~ sits on the remote point of the es
cocygis of the animal, and without STIR
rups. He swings his bare brown feet
and legs, while the little beast, like
julius, alongside of his father, trots
inegu0 pede. Plenty of women, with
faces here apparent, and in long, blue.
cheap cotton nantes, and sometimes
with head crowned with burdens of
fruit, pitchers, straw or wood, are met
in the way. Some ruins, mostly of
churches, here and there appear, while
square. windowless, Turkish guard-
houses are seen at intervals, at whose
doors are the white-dressed, fez.capped
Turkish soldiers with guns and cigar
cites. These are the police who are
supposed to guard the road; but to our
observation no guard is needed, except
in the dark mountain passes, and there
Turkish engineering has been careful
to have as few guard houses as posi-
BILE!
There is not much to see on the road
until you come to Ramleh. Beggars
and backshish. and some old relics as
crusading reminders are here, and one
very conspicuous object. The latter is
a square tower and winding staircase.
1t il OF the road, and has fine view of
the surrounding country. 1t is over
1000 years old, and has many Moslem
associations. Ramleh has been the
scene Of much contest. Indeed, every
little spot here in Judea is full Of
memories, from the time Israel came
down from the Moab Mountains into
the Jordan Valley. The road is not to
be mentioned for its convenience and
perfection, only for its historic, relig-
ious and sesthetic interest. It was
built in 1869, by forced labor, and in
deed its rough and stony incomplete
ness looks like anything but the result
of cheerful work. 1t is supported by
tolls. 80 much per head, on every ami
NAL on the road. One should not COM
plain of the road when it is remembered
that before 1869 there was not q bridle-
path to Jerusalem. It is said that the
Sultan promised the Empress Eugene
to build q road to Jerusalem If she
would come that way, and this royal
courtesy is the origin of the roed.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1881-12-22
The Census OF the Locomotives.

The total of locomotive engines in
this country is 1900. OF this total Of
engines New England has l. 200. Mas
sachusetts leads with 968. The Middle
States have 5000 locomotives. 1t will
humble New Workers little perhaps
to know the exact truth, which places
Pennsylvania as the leading State. with
2. 700 railway motors; New York comes
next with 1900. The young Western
States. born only yesterday. already
overtop all other sections Of the land
in the number of railway engines. the
aggregate being 1890. Illinois leads
with 1900. The Pacific States have
40, California having 220. The South
ern States have 1900 locomotives.
Georgia leading with 30s. Virginia
coming next with 800, and North Car
clina and South Carolina following
with 146 each. Florida's position is
shown by the cold-blooded statistician's
figures Of 80 locomotives for that State,
large enough for an empire.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1881-12-22
LATER.

In the United States Senate on the 10th q
large number of bills were introduced and re-
ferred, among others the following: for the
interest-bearing debt of the United States in
lawful money; for the free coinage of the sill
yer dollars. Mr.. Voorhees, addressed the Sen
ate on that part of the President message re-
lating to the repeal of the law authorizing sill
yer coinage and the issue of silver certificates.
The resolutions with respect to the Florida
Ship Canal were adopted. The bill legalizing
the election of the Legislature of New Mexico,
December 2, passed. Adjourned until the 18th.
In the House the Speaker announced the &C.
lect committee on the expenses attending the
illness and burial of General Garfield. A large
number of bills were introduced and referred,
among them bills: to regulate suffrage in the
Territories; prescribing oaths for jurors in
bigamy cases to register voters in Utah; to re-
peal bank taxes and stamps on checks and pro-
prietary articles; providing for the payment of
the interest-bearing debt Of the United States
in lawful money; to reduce the price of pub
lie lands within railroad limits to 81. Is per
acre; to abolish the duties on salt; for the
free coinage OF silver; appropriating $4,000
to Mrs. Garfield; for the appointment of
Tariff Commission; ETC., etc. Adjourned until
the 10Th.
PRESIDENT ARTHUR on the 18th nominated
]. c. Bancroft Davis, of New York, to be
Assistant Secretary Of State. Among the
nominations sent to the Senate on the 10th
was that of BENJAMIN H. Brewster, of Penn
sylvania, to be United States Attorney-Gen-
eral.
The National House of Representatives has
agreed to take recess from December 81 to
January5.
Mr.. BREWSTER, who has been nominated
for Attorney General, had long interview
with the President on the 10th, and says the
Star-route cases will be prosecuted with the
utmost vigor.
SUITS have been begun against i've Chicago
5obbers for dealing in adulterated butter.
PIERoLA has resigned the Presidency of
Peru and embarked for Europe.
In the Guiteau case on the 10th George D.
Barnard, Deputy Clerk Of the Supreme Court,
Kings County, New York, testified to the
fact that the prisoners former wife was di
vorced from him because Of his adultery. Mr..
Scoville objected to the testimony, but the
Court overruled him. General Reynolds was
recalled and testified that when he visited
Guitean In jail the President waA living and
Guiteau's trial had not been arraged. he
(witness) had NO thought Of being sub
p0naed as . witness. His former wife
was placed on the stand, and Guiteau an
n0unced that he had no intention Of saying
anything indecent. He again threatened %
kick Scovdle out Of the case, called General
Reynolds . spy and . liar, and laughed hearth
" n what he deemed w1fffrfsms nv h3maAlf
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1881-12-22

~ fruit-raiser. saying that Il the
psxsple want big, flavorless fruit, y
must be raised for them, remarks that
tie great, handsome, high-color6d Cal-
ifornia pears Sre in demand at high
prices, notwithstanding they are - tine-
favored g baasWood sAwdusk
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1881-12-22

! The production Of the South
African diamond mines last year was
/. 40 pounds Of gems, valued at &c.
839, 4S5. AT the end Of last year ~, 600
black and /, 100 white men were en-.
ployed a. these mines.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1881-12-22

There are better water powers on
the Rio Grande River in New Mexico,
than in any one Of the New England
States. The future will see erected by
the side of this stream great mills ana
shops, whose products will be sent TO
all parts Of Mexico, Central and South
America.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1881-12-22

The brigand Bandazzo. alias E..
poGit0s has been eentenced 70 hard
labor for life at Palermo, Sicily.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1881-12-22

Resolutions never arise spontane.
ously. They always have to be drawn
II
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1881-12-22
DrOwsiness During Sermons.

The Christian Advocate says that min
listers are often troubled by seeing per-
sons asleep in their congregations.
Often they are themselves to blame.
Their oratory is soporific. But often
the stupidity of the nearer is the same.
Eutychus slept while Paul preached.
Joseph Bradford fell asleep while John
Wesley preached. Bishop James told
class Of young men that if their hearers
slept it was their fault. At that mo-
ment, Bishop Baker, just in from long
journey, was asleep in the pulpit.
Bishop james on being told of it was
much amused, and said: II was an
awful example to them" Nothing will
keep some persons awake. In MUIR
der case in Hudson County, N. j., Judge
Knapp, not many days ago, was deliver
ing his charge, and saw . juror asleep.
What is the use," he asked sharply,
"of my addressing this jury, if its menu
eers cannot stay awake long enough to
listen to me-"
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1881-12-22

MIR. James Hood, brother of Gen
eral John B. Hood, living in Montgom
cry County, Kentucky, claims to have
discovered the original mines of silve,
on Sand Mountain, worked q hundred
years ago by the famous Swift, who came
across the mountains from North Caro-
lima about the time or little after Dan,
iel Boone. Swift returned to North
Carolina with fabulous amount of sill.
yer in bars, but died before he could re.
turn to increase his wealth. The secret
Of the location died with him. Mr..
Hood claims to have discovered moi
only the lode, but the pit worked by the
pioneer. Aa 90
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1881-12-22

South Carolina, a; Georgia, 80; Florida, 80;
Alabama, IS; Mississippi, Is; Louisiana, s.;
Texas, 06; Arkansas, 30, and Tennessee, %.
Taking the reports Of the season together, up
to December l, the indications point to crop
Of about 1 900, bales, and somewhat higher
product appears possible.
ACTING POsTMAsTER-GENERALH ATToN has
directed that no supplement containing any
advertisements whatever be allowed in the
mails ct sec0nd-class rates unless the pub
Usher makes affidavit that the same rates are
paid for advertisements in the supplement as
for those in the body of the paper itself.
The United States Senate Finance Commit
tee, at it's meeting on the 18th, agreed unani-
mously to recommend the passage of Mr..
Sherman's Three-per-cent. Funding bill, with
amendments reducing the aggregate amount
OF ee-per-cent. bonds to be issued to $780,
100000, and providing that the amount of de-
p0sits to be received shall not exceed at any
one time ~, 0OO, 900. The committee took
this action after hearing Secretary Folger,
who expressed himself In opposition to the
proposition. preferring to retain the Govern
ment privilege of calling in the three-and-a-
half-per-cent. bonds at any time.
THE export of butter from this country to
England has fallen of exactly one-half in
twelve months, and threatens to fall off more,
on account, 1t ia alleged, of the way oleomar-
garine has been imposed upon the English for
genuine butter.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1881-12-22

The New York Mail says the nsena
cards ct q luncheon party in that city
the other day were painted by the di,
vorced wife Of the hostess husband,
who now earns her living in this artistie
way.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1881-12-22

any of the common domestic animals.
The mother alone look ed afterit eagerly,
and further manifested her concern and
affection by trying to follow it and ut
tering low, grunting sound.
:. After it was slain they laid it on its
side; one of the women brought forward
q branch of willow about . foot lon1
with the green leaves on it and put
under the animals head, then shc
threw four or five handfuls of the blood
from the knife wound back of the
shoulder out over the ground to the
southwark. making me get out of the
way. as If this distinction were the
only proper one. Then she took a cup
full of water and poured . little on It's
mouth and tail and on the wound.
While this ceremony was being per-
formed all the family was serious-l0ok-
ing; but as soon as It was over they be-
gan to laugh and chat a. before. The
flock all the time Of the killing and
dressing were TRANQUILITY, chewing their'
,cud. lot noticing tine smell of the blood
even, which makes cattle so fraGtic. /.
lone of our party was anxious to
procure young one alive to take home
With him, but they would not sell ono
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1881-12-22

construction OF the Henncpln canal, as the
best means of maintaining water-route COM
merce to the Atlantic seaboard.
SAMUEL A. GREEN, Republ can, has been
elected Mayor of Boston, over Albert Palmer
Democrat, by $50 majority in vote of 81 600
THE New York City Fire Commissioners
have ordered the immediate inspection of all
theaters and places of amusement, and invite
the recommendation of such changes as may
seem necessary to protect life. veteran
fireman states that in only two theaters is the
stage separated from the auditorium by fire.
proof partition.
The trustee Of the Sprague estate in Rhode
Island reports the liabilities at $S,912, ST., and
the assets at %, 242, 49,.
The announcement is made that the Dr.
rectors of the Mechanics Bank of Newark,
N. j., have raised 100000 with which to re-
organize. It is stated that small depositors
will be paid in full, while sevcnty-five per
cent will be disbursed ON large sums.
B. FRANK MOORE has been tried at New
York for violating the Postal law In sending
lottery circulars through the mails, and fined
$780,
A FEW days ago, at the annual meeting of
the stockholders of the Kelley Motor in Phil
adelphia, the annual report Of the Directors,
to the effect that the inventor should, for the
protection of the stockholders, take out pat
ents to cover his invention, was adopted.
The New York Board Of Trade recently
adopted resolution asking Congress to make
trade dollars legal tender to the same extent
Is the standard silver dollar.
RESOLUTIONS have been adopted BY the
Board Of Trade of New York City, favoring an
appropriation by Congress for the Hennepin
Canal.