The University daily. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 18??-????, 1881-06-07

lsrs
bons Z girl endgel her brains every
time she bangs her hair7
cutn nffl8 Cleveland girl always
CAL bausaGot ..scrap bags. Cleveland
A6kr oi1[f to have said: Hardly,
Eva, when he was temptedto bite the
apple.
VIM i : fellow with . bad cold In The
head like Niagara Falls? Because he's
acatarrh-rackad
The New Orleans PfcGyasle calls oys-
tens honest, ssbecanse they are not made
by man. No; they are made bivalvs.
{ L In PANS Mr.. Bennett, Of the New
York Herald, is known as Sir james
Gordon Bennett, the American noble
man.
THEx are laughing Il strsyeling Eng
kshman who complained, IN Syracuse
sI tahpt get ne Mggaee, for + lost mo
Erasses yoa Know.
N ssWHAT Is Iowa. asks On exchange.
Love, my friend, ID thinking that You
snd Tie girl can bal an eternal picnic 70 ]
each other. SaieP. Sunbeam,
b THK giraffe has never been know 10
litter 3 sound In this respect q resem-
bles q young lady in street car when 3
gentleman gives uisy Ms seat 10 her.
The funny mans wife ehght 10 wear
lsrinadine II Nes0 York NesV& 4 Then
she bankers Fife ought 70 wear CASH
mere, and the stree musician q Qrgandie,
4 Su1cIDn by starvation Is 50 popular
now that Philadelp hia man Is going to
try ii He win hoard at O. New York
hotel ana refuse ID fee the walters. -
Br0okkyn 4Fysss. ts.stsisiDsll
E4Has ahead the sphinx. Hard 70
put down carpetss Al paper mill La
quarrel between two editors. A spring
opening the night lateh. "A fall open
ing the coal hole Y is
TIN, Brooklyn Aldermen have voted 10
supply themselves with $50 badges.
This isya good ideA. for when people see
zone uf them coming they can know him
|sand run. - Boston Post.
A THERl aFkA utdotttedlya great many
4 things which ara better than riches; but
1 riches are good enough FOR those Of us
who feel humbl6 and wish to leave some
thing for other people.
s.MAyoR, ] SEQ two cocktails carried 10
yonr, room every morning, a. il you had
some one To drink with. eyes. sir: ono
cocktail makes me feel like another man;
and, Of course. I'm bound to treat the
other man. \ NJ III 5.,J5 A. .fxg,3. .
YouNa LApY-'tMy dear Professor, II
want to thank yon fer your lecture.
You made il oil 90 plain that I could UNI
derstand every word. " Professor &c am
truly glad you did understand ii Ihaye
studied the subject for about thirteen
years, and am not clear that ! under
stand it vet. " III
A poErsss means: my heart lay on
the threshing floor; / stiaed every wall
as blow ON blow descended from ono who
held the fail. IL was enough 10 kill
herl But a woman who Is 30 careless As
to- leave her heart lying on d born floor
until Il Is pounded into d jelly with d
fail doesn't deserve q particle II SYM
pathy.l The tlaresher perhaps didn't
know itiwAs ''otly . woman's heart. ?
He may have mistaken it for section Of
condemned bologna sausage, and We.
therefore, ask for suspension Of public
opinion id his behalf until his side of tho
story Is printed Y NofristoisB, Hcfdtd.
Ar RUG mechanical school: Now.
Johh, did Won ever SEQ "A ,AawY, ssYa6,
did you ever seee saw2 "Yes, sir, I've
saw . saw. .lssWhat saw was Il you
saw. JohnP" SIT was 4 see-saw, sir. =
"a sea-aaucer? Why, John, what do
| You mean 2" mean q see-saw, SIR"
'tAnd when did You see the sen r. ''Oh,
sir, didn't see the sea; saw the saw,
sif.s But If YOU only saw che saw how
saw! you the Isaueef2 ''Why, SIR,
| never saw the sasicer; : see. the saw, air
| see q 4 .sWelli. my boy, II that's the
Ii~ky xouEsee saws, tie less saws You ses
the better. 4 gfonnnaay take your seat,
lYeto York Graphic. Il