Louisiana capitolian. (Baton Rouge, La.) 1879-1881, 1881-04-02
PAsToRAL KISSES.
N. o. T,mes

AA0AVAAA u 1O06Ss
N. O. Times.
When Henry Ward Beecher, some
years ago. kissea Mrs. Elizabeth TiItoa
ne set al example which ministers al
over the country have been following
ever since. The latest case Of this kind
was that Of the Rev. b. F. Miller, Of
Roxbury, Mass, who wac caught in the
act Of kissing his lsnd-lsdy. There are
many styles of kisses. The soft, lingering
heart-thumping kiss which sends o
galvanic thrill away down in a mans
boot-legs. This style is termed the anec-
tsrine." Then there is the basty. or
emotional kiss, which has to be plucked
in hurry, and which, in consequence
sounds like some one hitting q boy with
single, aud leaves the girl who has
received it under the impression that
she has been doused in the face with q
vet sponge. There is no satisfaction in
the hasty kiss, and the girls, Us rule,
will not submit to it. The "bombard-
ment" kiss, which has recently been in
PRODUCED, is meeting with favor and is
soon destined to become quite fashiona-
bic. The "bombardmont" kiss is Moth
ing more or less than an exchange Of
kisses at short intervals. The young
man fires first, and the young lady re-
turns tho shot until the firing is con-
Quoted SO fast that it sounds like pack
OF Gre-crackers under an old barrel.
Although the various styles of kisses
contain some degree of comfort and are
craved by mankind, yet too free in
diligence in them often gets a person
into trouble, it is said. The plebian
taste which the Rev. Mr.. Miller dis
played when be kissed his landIady cre-
ated astir among his congregation and
he was hauled up before the church to
explain. He stated that the kiss he ia.
vored his landlady with was q "holy''
kiss, medium of grace, 80 to speak.
and that no kissed her to make her y
better Christian. The congregation
put their beads together and concluded
that the statement was not entirely
evangelical and were OH the point OF
banishing the unhappy minister, when
an old deacon arose and said that per-
haps the minister had suffered a great
deal from the landlady having tough
steak for breakfast, and her neglecting
to have towels and water put in his
room. He also said that the unfortu-
nate minister doubtless kissed his land
lady with the intention Of wheedliny
her into disposition to treat her board
ers in kindlier manner. Seeing that
bis words produced .an impression, tho
deacon launched into an eloquent speech
and wound up by saying that no man
who was not q true Christian and NH
lasthropist could have the moral cour-
age to kiss landlady, and that as best it
was bitter cup for even minister to
tackle. The congregation, moved by
the eloquence Of tho deacon, were about
to reinstate the Rev. Mr.. Miller when
the landlady's servant appeared and tes-
tilted to the fact that she had often seen
her mistress seated in Parson Millers
lap, indulging in the COMMANDMENT
kiss" This information fell like q bomb
shell Oh the congregation, and they re-
allied that there was 10 way to reason
their erring minister out of his dilemma.
and that he wouid have to go West and
grow up with the country. Parson
Miller should have his ''holy' kiss pat
ented as soon as possible, for il he does
not other ministers will be using it in
less than six months.
Joseph Albert, the renowned Munich
photographer, has invented q new pro-
cess by which it is said that he is ena-
bled to produce pictures Of persons and
objects with the ARest shades Of their