The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1881-10-19

II hate 10 see a hitch in we'd
DIM" remarked farmer from out
Jamaica way, as he dropped intt
the counting room with a nuptial
notice. at looks bad and it makes
talk"
Anything wrong about this we'd
ding ?" asked the clerk, as he made
change for the old man.
Nothing positively wrong, but il
did not launch like / wanij to see
things of that kind. You see by the
notice that Buck Thomas was mar
ryin' Mary Buff, and at one time
we began to think they never would
get through with the ceremony"
"What was the hitch ~
"Why. Buck is a Methodist, and
Mary is 'Piseopalian, and SO one
wanted one service and the other
another, they patched up some kind
of scheme to Lave both. Neither
would go to the others church, but
each had their own minister and
the weddin' come off in the school
house. The 'Piscopal minister mar
ried Mary, and the Methodist un-
dertook to marry Buck, and there
they was takin' alternate whacks al
the thing, and neither payin' any
attention to the other. The Metho
dist brother fired off sermon first
and the bride sat down and went tt
sleep. Then the 'Piscopalian said
as we'd all dropped in to see thai
woman Joined, but he wouldn't say
who to, and wanted to know if there
was any objections. That started
the Methodist who began to ask
Buck if he knew what solemn bus
mess he was peggin' at, and if he
really meant trade. al that time
the 'Piscopalian was howlin' around
about this woman and Mary was
sayin' she'd do this, that and the
other. The Methodist was marryin
away on his side and finally they
brought up against a stump"
"Well, the 'Piscopalian wouldn't
recognize Buck or his minister, ano
the Methodist wouldn't have moth
in to do with Mary or her preacher
and there was no way of gittin' EN-
together. Everything was already
except askin' them if they'd take
each other, and neither one of 'em
would do it. Mary and Buck was
standin' hand in hand, and the
crowd was gettin' hungry"
"How did they get through it ?''
They had to compromise. They
wrangled around for a time, and
finally Buck spoke up of his own
accord and said he'd take Mary fol
his welded wife, and then Mary
clipped in and said she'd take Buck
for her husband. AT that we all
cheered and hollered. But there
they pumped on another snag."
''In what respect ?" inquired the
clerk.
Because there was no one TO pro
nounce 'em man and wife. Buck
tried to reason Mary into lettin' the
Methodist do that part, and Mary
argued with Buck and tried to per-
suade him into listenin' to her
preacher ; but it was no use. That
brought on another row, and as il
was gettin' nigh on to dark, we all
felt that something ought to be
done. as we'd been there most all
day."
"Well, did they get married p
asked the tired clerk.
eyes we fixed it up. The min
isters was gettin' pretty mad at each
other, and they agreed that the'd
each attend to their own flock, so
the Methodist said, L now pro-
nounce you man. and the 'Piscopa-
lian said, i now pronounce you
wife, and they let it go at that.
Then Buck paid the Methodist, and
the 'Piscopalian wanted to know
where he came in. Buck said he'd
hired his man and paid him, and,
as he was not responsible for his
wife's foolishness before marriage,
her parson could whistle for his
wealth. | guess therell be a law
suit about it, for the 'Piscopalian
says he'll have half Of that five dol
lars if it takes a leg off up to the
armpit, | don't like to see them
bitches at weddins'. 1t don't look
right, and it amt business"
With which reflection the OLD man
buttoned up his change and drove
home in deep meditation.