Mexico weekly ledger. (Mexico, Mo.) 1855-1956, 1881-12-22
M0RSELS OF MIRTH.

A congregation is often sold by
the choir.
Weaving is not the only business
that looms up.
A man must be going slowly when
he lets old age overtake him.
When is girl like a music book?
When she Is full of airs.
The amateur cornet player ought
to receive blow for blow.
An adept at bicycling ought to
make good wheel-right.
Thanksgiving don't amount to
much, after all. 1t is all stuff.
The Mormon question-Will you
be fraction of my wife, darling?
Aladdin lamps cannot be more
strange than "a letter in the candle"
The New Orleans Picayune thinks
that food for thought should be well
cooked. .--.
In mercantile circles q hanging
Is now alluded to as a forced sus-
pension.
Most men are anxious for long life,
but the lawyer enjoys a brief ex-
istence.
The matchmaker can't afford TO do
a cash business, because he makes all
bis profits on time.
The man who was born with sill
yer spoon in his mouth must have
lived in stirring times.
The deepest insult that can be Civ
ven in Deadwood is to say: "You
amt worth Iynching.'
No matter how obstinate a man
may be he generally hauls in his
horns after entering tavern.
Naturalist: Can a wolf become
fond of man? He can, and would
Just as SOON have him raw as cooked.
Inquirer: No; we don't like dogs
at all. The reason we keep three
big ones is that we don't like our
nelghbors.
"Know thyself!" may be an ex-
cellent sort of proverb, but it's fore
ing pretty tough acquaintance on
some folks.
The bicycle Is great thing to put
flesh on mans legs. 1t is also a
good thing to take the skin off a
mans nose.
| Whatever you have to do, do it
with all your might. Many lawyer
has made his fortune by simply work
ing with will.
) Every family is said to have q
, skeleton in the closet, but Hanlan
and gentlemen of his craft are said
to prefer scull.
Will the coming man shut the
door after him? He will in this of.
fee, or the going man will 60 ou,
of the window.
The coming woman will not marry
, until she is able to support hus
t band in the style he has been accus
> toned to at home.
A Michigan man deserted bis wife
, "because she was deaf and dumb
, Men little know when they have {
treasure in the house.
:, A little boy remarked, 81 lik,
grandpa because he is such a gen
> tIemanly man; he always tells mi
l to help myself to sugar.
s Elephants are now quoted at 81,
: 100 each, but most people would
e rather have $3.50 turkey, even if i
won't last quite as long.
t The reason that baggageman re
n Gently hurled himself from a fourth
i, story window was that he was insan,
and thought he was trunk.
What eminent hero is suggested
= by Mr.. Eichburg's. going to visi
Patti? Well, Julius sees her (witl
profound apologies all around).
If a two-wheeled vehicle is a blcy
n Gle, and three-whceled a tricycle.
e 1t does not follow that one-wheele,
s is an icicle. 1t is wheel-barrow.
t If some of the wiseacres who or
y predicting the drying up of the cart
s would only show the earth an exam
: pie of similar character, it woul,
: be we'll.
II "How did we come to possess GU
u present dress?" is one Of the ques
: tons by the editor of nature. Cam
Il say, sir. Presume the tailor didn'
/ know you.
: A greenback with hole in it wi
d be received where a silver dolla
n with hole in it would be refused
d This is an Iowa argument 10 favor 6
greenbacks.
The anatomical museum probabl
= come into existence when bruise
arms were hung up for monumen,
l. in the eventful days of the crooa
p backed tyrant.
q There was very severe frost
,r North Carolina the other night. NJ
only was vegetation killed, but abol
N one-half the population got up in th
morning, black.
Flies talk, so scientists say, bl
as interviewers they don't come u
to bees, and for a stinging artic
~ they are far behind the intelIigel
- ~ but biting American mosquito.
c. A Western Senator was oyerhear
TO say of his colleague on a railros
le train the other day: "He is N
I'd ideal of Senator. He has the bi,
OF gest feet and smallest head of al
e. man / know" Hs@ "
The Elmira Advertiser has broke
K the ice, and opens the winter seast
sit by remarking that the skaters are b
e, ginning to get drowned. Seems
e. strange kind of beginning for SIX
mt ters; sounds more like an ending.
~ .. This is the season of the We
w w when mince pies come to town, a,