Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1881-02-11

There seems to be a vague but opera
tive notion in many social circles that 1t is
bad form" to introduce to each other
persons who meet casually In the parlor
of q common friend At least it is held
that this ceremony is not to be performed
without the consent of both parties there
to-
This belief IS probably founded on the
social usages OF older countries, as, for ex-
ample, Germany and France, where intro
auctions are not customary. But there 1t
is an unwrittsn law that strangers, meet
ing under roof OF q common friend,
whether by invitation or accident, shall
greet each other As acquaintance, talk
easily, and part with graceful civllity.
The hostess, by virtue OF her office, stands
as the social sponsor Of each for the mo-
ment, and to hesitate to speak to any one
Of her visitors is to discredit her taste and
Judgment OF course the continuance of
the acquaintance is Il matter to be left en-
tirely to the decision of the two persons
concerned
In England, on the other hand it has
been generally considered INDIGENOUS to
speak without formal introduction,
which is usually offered only when the
hostess feels assured that the acquain-
lance will prove n mutually agreeable
one But this usage doubtless grew out
of the very marked difference of caste,
which implied different social worlds.
With the new life of this century; vast
influence Of trade and commerce the
neamess Of nations formerly held alien
and foreign, and the attrition of their
ideal. the general interest in science
ttlt oh foil hnl nf MAJ a11.l on of all
rank and no rank; the altered feeling
about women, which begins to make the
suppressed sex not only significant fac
tors i'll the economic sum, but working,
thinking and shaping members of the
social fabric and with the changing for
tunes of the time, which puts immense
wealth in new hands, and impoverishes
the heirs of old names and ancient her
itages-with these subverting conditions,
We say, the rigid lines of caste must
yield or be broken. And any American
traveller of distinction will doubtless
have observed that in the best English
society introductions have either become
much more general, or are regarded rs
unnecessary.
We, however, appear to have adopted
the English custom without the English
reason there for hope of advantage there
i'll. And if We go on in our present way
We bid fair to make our social festivities
MS heavy as those of the middle-class
drawing-rooms of our kin across the sea;
for women are constitutionally timid and
usually fear to make advances. To be
conscious of being less well dressed or
less well placed in the social world than
her neighbor is to put an extinguisher
often on the most scintillant of her Sex.
If her acquaintance is sought she will show
herself charming, but she will rot seem to
solicit recognition, though the alterna-
tive is dreary silence and isolated
state.
The hostess at case IN the world may
think this foolish reticence. But since
shy or obscure women are afraid to speak
without authority, she should make
it an invaria- BILE custom to intro
duce. The law is very simple. What
ever puts her guests most at ease
is her obvious duty. The law Of
centripetal force which may be trusted to
send the right atoms together in the artifi-
cial res.r aims is removed And it often
happens that the richest friendships of
ones life ensue from these chance encoun-
ters while, on the other hand. if both par
ties to the occasion feel, like Slender, that
if there be no great love at the begin
ing, vet Heaven may decrease it on better
acquaintance, civil bow on meeting is
the only future recognition which courtesy
equires.
Perhaps the form of Introduction might
he made more helpfnl than it is. There
are certain fixed rules, of course, based
on sufficient reason, which everybody il
suppose to understand and observe. 1t is
proper, for example always to introduce
q gentlemen to lady, a younger woman
to an elder stanger or a newcomer to
the longer resident. But beyond this the
phase and tone employed might convey
an assurance of rewarding acquaintance,
or simply imply acourtesy of the moment.
Suppose, for instance. the hostess were to
say, Mrs. Blank, | am So glad of this
opportunity TO introduce to You Mrs.
Dash, or. 1t is such a pleasure to intro
duce twopeople who ought to know each
other. or any other agreeably uncon-
ventional sentence. there is ground of
liking and a sense of familiarity establish
ed ut once. If, on the other hand, she
sees that there is not likely TO be any
common interest between the two stran-
gers. the usual form, Mrs. Blank. pray
allow me tr present Mrs. Dash TO You,
merely means. Now, you two women,
who happen to stand together there. may
leave OF your futile attempts to look I'M
cOncious Of each others existence aud be-
como Us agreeable to each other rs your
limitations will allow" \ woman must
he ponderous, indeed, who cannot find
few words Of graceful commonplace to
bestow ON her new acquaintance, or hav-
ing offered them, who cannot easily and
inoflensvrly glide out of the conversa-
ton.
But If it he the duty Of the hostess TO
introduce, ii is not less plainly the duty
of her guests to speak to each other with
out her intervention. The law of kind
ness, which precedes and underlies the
code of etiquette, commands them to as
sist her in her effort to give them pleasure.
~ Iest's prosperity. SAYS the all percelv-
ing Shakespeare. lies i'll the ear Of HIM
who hears II, never in the tongue of him
who utters it. And it is equally true
that all social successes depend on the
spirit of the guests far more than upon
the skill of the hostess. She is but one.
They are many Schiller complained
that the gods themselves must fight in
vain against stupidity. and there is no
stupidity more hopeless than that which
makes woman in society regard her
own preference, prejudice, or timidity as
OF more consequence than the pleasure OF
all the rest. - Hdrptr'S Ba-dr