Public ledger. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1865-1893, 1881-09-16
spo0pendyko's Picture-Hanging


Brooklyn Eagle.l
well, my dear" said Mr.. Spoop-
endyke, with a nail in his mouth, and
balancing himself ~waveringly on a
dining room chair, "all you've got to
do now is to get your picture ready,
and III show you how to hang the
thing"
Its awful sweet Of you, pet said
Mrs. Spoopendyke, alternately ubbing
the frame of a very hectic chrome and
sucking the thumb she had been ham
mering for the last twenty minutes.
ITS awful sweet and thoughtful of
you, dear, to offer your assistance at
such a time, for | do believe | never
would have got a nail driven in that
stupid wall"
"0f course you wouldn't, my dearp'
laughed Mr.. Spoopendyke. "Who
ever saw a woman that could drive a
nail? You couldn't drive a g~alvan-
lied carpet tack in a 'leven pound
bladder of putty. And speaking Of
driving nails, I'd like to know il
you're ever going to hand up that
hammer, or meat FOUNDER, or what
ever you'v We been using. Think | can
drive nails with my elbow"
ITS the stove handle, love-" said
Mrs. S~poopendyke, meekly, handing
him a mysterious looking implement
with a wooden handle at one end and
the underjaw Of a shoemaker's plyers
at the other.
"0h, it's a stove hook, is it2" said
Mr.. Spoopendyke, regarding the
weapon with a sinister EXPIRE ssion.
Now, if you'd handed me up a dog
ircn or a pair of steelyards, I'd have
been right at home, but a stove hook
Really, my dear, I'd rather undertake
to drive a nail with a scythe handle. "
But the walls so soft and lovely,
dear, it really drives them beautifully
IF they would only stick" said Mrs.
Spoopendyke, reassuredly.
only stick" said Mr.. Spoopendyke,
contemptuOusly; now, Ill bet that
you never wet the muscilage on a sim
gle nail before you started. That's
why they didn't stick for you-ouchI
suiferin, Mosesl Are you going to
stand %serenely by and see me beat my
knuckles into a pulp with this dOd
gasted, measly marlinspike?"
Poor dearl" said Mrs. Spoopen.
dyke, consolingly. you do act SO
impatient-and at first trial, too,
Maybe it struck something hard in
the plaster. Try another place-that'
the way | managed that"
"0h, yes said Mr.. ~Spoopendyke,
that's the way you manage i'll and
you have punched enough holes in
here to play cribbage in. Will you
gimme another nail2 Don't you see
I've knocked this one fat, and can't
unpry it up again2"
Cant unpry it up againl" ejacu-
lated Mrs. Spoopecdyke, in a very
gentle voice, handing him another
nail. Cant unpry it up againl Well,
if that amt grammar
"0h, amt it?" said Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke, with a most horrific smile. "Ot
course it amt, you old female semina-
ry with a cracked bell in your cupolal
Am | going to school to you, or am !
driving nailsY"
well dear" sighed Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke, you're surely not driving
nails"
mo, you can just bet Pm not drivin'
nails, and you can bet l amt a.going
to try to drive no more nails neither
And you can bet" continued Mr..
Spoopendyke, with still densifying in
tensity, and a war-danee aourished as
he leaped to the floor, ''and you can
just bet your high muck-a-muck, il
you'll set that measly old chrome OF
yours on the side table, I'll throw this
dodgasted thing so far drought it that
IL won't get hack in n c~anfurv