Sharp County record., 1881-04-28
THE TROUBLE CAUSED BY AN OLD
RAG MAN.

trouble in this world OF ours. taxing
McSwynv Court as a smaller sphere ex-
isting within and encircled by a greater
orbit, and we find that the adage will
hold good to its application therein.
Dionysius McSwyny, after his expert
ence recently, is no doubt fully pre-
pared to confirm the truth of the prov
erb above referred to, for he has been
in great trouble, brought about and
concocted by his wife, Anastasia, al
though without any malice aforethought
or premeditated design on the lady 5
part, she being the innocent cause OF
the whole row; and the second agent OF
the fomenting of the disturbance has
been a pair Of trousers. Now, pair
of trousers are not troublesome in
themselves, unless ill-made or too tight
for comfort, but these particular trous-
ers have been the means of raising the
deuce in the McSwynian household, and,
as a consequence, in McSwyny Court.
1t seems that Dionysius had pair of
blue trousers, which, for some months
back he has discarded wearing, having
donned an entire suit of black chevlot,
which the trousers would not match,
and, therefore, were laid aside. They
hung on a peg in one of the McSwyn-
ian bedrooms, and were rapidly be-
coming useless save from the utilitarian
standpoint of the old rag man. Anas-
tasia McSwyny, being OF an economical
disposition, got tired of seeing the
trousers hanging on a peg and OF no
earthly use to the owner, her husband,
so that, upon a certain morning of last
week, when Dominck Philethus McGru-
der, the junkman of McSwyny Court,
went by the McSwynian dOmicile with
his ringing bells changing over his junk
cart, Anastasia went to the door and
called him.
GOOD mornin', Mrs. McSwyny,"
said McGruder, with smile, but never
pausing for breath as he went on:
Rags-an' -bottles-to-sell! any ould
r-a-g-s?
Good mornin', Mr.. McGruder," "
responded Anastasia; chow do you do
to-day?"
"Quite we'll, ma am, thankye. How's
the ould man? Rags-an-bottles-to-sell!
any ould r-a-g-sr'
Hes nicely, Mr. McGruder," an
swered Mrs. McSwyny. ,"rve an ould
pair of trousers here like to sell ye."
"All right, ma am" responded Nc
Gruder, taking the article and examin-
ing it closely. "How's your daughters,
Mary Ann and AnnyP Rags-an'bot
tles-to-sell! any ould rags"
They're well, Mr.. McGruder, an
how much are the trousers worth, an
is your wife in good health?" answered
and queried Mrs. McSwyny cordially.
80, she's all right, ma'am, an I'm
glad to hear ye're all well, but all can
give ye for the trousers is twinty-tve
cints. Rags-an' -bottles-to-sell! any ould
r-a-g-sn'
Twinty-fve cintsr' echoed Mrs.
McSwyny, in astonishment. SIS that
all ye'll give me for handsome blue
trousers belongin' to suit Dionysius
paid fifteen dollars for to order of little
Tooley, the tailor. only six months ago,
an a foine fit they were, more betoken
the coat an vesht were so tight across
the waist as to burst the first day he
wore EN-"
"Well, ma'am," went on the Nc
Gruder, soothingly, "d'ye mOind, they
is only good for ould rags now, though
might sell thin to Solomon Isaacs,
the ould clo' man on the block above.
I'll make it fifty, but not a cint more,
an thin it may be losin' Specialization.
Rags-an' -bottles-to-selll Any ould
r-a-g-s!"
"Well, take thim," responded Mrs.
McSwyny; they're no good to Dony-
sius any more, an I'm sure l can't
wear EN-"
You're the first woman ever heerd
acknowledge that thin," jocOsely an
swered the McGruder, as he threw the
trousers into his cart. Tin, twenty,
thirty, forty, fifty cents. There We are,
a'am; good day, Mrs. McSwyny.
Rags-an' bottles to sell! Any ould
r-a-g-s!'
An old junkman trudged along with
his cart, singing his invitation to trade,
while Mrs. McSwyny went indoors re-
ioicing in the possession of fifty cents
additional pin-money. 1t flashed across
her mind at the last moment that pos
siblv DionySiuS might have left some
important papers in the pockets, or per-
haps even money, and she fastened to
the door again intending to call McGru-
der back. But he had long since dis
appeared FROM view, and Mrs McSwyny
was forced to return comforting herself
with the reflection that she was possibly
mistaken in her suppOsititious fears.
Two days afterwards. Dionysius was
looking curiously about the bedroom,
evidently hunting for something, when
~ ;ssso5i by 5J the GUUr fUJt=
ing to the kitchen.
"Anastashia," called out Dionysius,
"did you see air an ould blue trousers
O. mine hanging up here?
"A blue trousers?" echoed Mrs. Nc
Swyny. "Do We name that dirty ould
thing we've had hangin' there for a
month back?"
THAT dirty ould thing is jist the wan
/ do mane," iterated Dionysius.
"Where's it gone to, Pdlike to know. "
"Where do ye s'pose it'd 60 to-" an