davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1881-10-05
HARRIS REMEDY CO. MFG. CHEMISTS
Market and 9th SITS. ST. OlIla. Mo.
unsolIclted testimony to the Er1cacy OF
Prof. HavrIs' Pastilies, taken from Lett
tiers received from Patronsi

Indiana, April II, 7p.-The Remedy Il working per.
fectly Had spi!epsl from xeakness for years past
Iowa. Oct 10th, '79-I am almost surprised at your
Pastilles They have worked Ike charm on me; an,
was on the OF the grave Thought and there
no cure for me, but now am in good hopes for
West Virginia, Aug u. 1911 received your medi-
cine and believe II has cured me, for which
thankful. Inclosed And %. Please send me another
boz mo. q for friend. You have done great thing
for me. will send you all the orders can.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1881-10-05

4. X. MCDoNALD,
Secretary.
The daily gazette., 1881-07-25
jel7-eodtf'

DIR. @. f. MANSON. of 2O4O North 7th
st. Phi ladelphia, says II h.ve used
Llebig Co.'s Cocoa Beef Tonic among my
patti ents with the most satisfactory re-
suits The drain of strength caused by
malaria, lung affections, female COM
plants, imperfect digestion aud bilious
ness Is speedily remedied by its use.
The daily gazette., 1881-07-25
THE REPoRTORIAL LOT.
When the scribe is not engaged in
employment

When the scribe Is not engaged In his
employment
His employment;
Or maturing some sensation for the press
For the press,
ais capacity for innocent enjoyment
'Cent enjoyment.
Is just as great as any one can guess
One can guess
His feelings he with difficulty smothers-
Guilty smothers,
When reportorial duty's to be done =
To be done
Oh, take eoneconsideration with ano her
With another,
A reporters lot rs not q happy one
Happy one,
When the sleepy night reporters not re-
porting
Not reporting,
When no burning building occupies his
time
pies his time,
He loves TO hear the "pony" beer gur-
CLING
Beer gurgling,
And listen for merry tale OF crime
Tale of crime.
When he's finished fondly KISSING his
wife's mother
His wife's mother
He loves to catch her "blessings" one by
one
What with hunting up the murders and
the fires
And the fires
A reporters life is not lazy one
A lazy enc
While ye para. rapher's shears are being
grinded-
Being grinded
His eye rests on the journalistic page
'Istic page
or another brother and g is reminded
Is reminded
That the world is very funny for Its a. se-
For Its Ege
But his feelings he with difficulty smoth.
ers-
Guilty smothers
When he learns the paragrapher stole thu
pun
Stole the pun
Oh, when paragraphers steal each others
fire
Others fire
1t behooves us not 10 snicker at their fun
Attheir fun
Baltimore Gazette.
The daily gazette., 1881-07-25
Summer
Complaints

At this season, various diseases of the
bowels are prevalent, and many liyes are
lost through lack of knowledge of safe
and sure remedy. PERRY DAVIS PAIN
KILLER is a sure cure for Diarrh9a, Dys-
entery, Cholera, Cholera Morbus, Summer
Complaint, ETC., and is perfectly safe.
Read the following:
BAIHBRIpeE, N. T., March q, 1881
PERRY DAyIs' PAIN KILiER nsyer Iails o a9ord
NIeHoIvI1Ls n. \. Feb 4 issi.
used 1t for years and it is sure eIrs every time.
Momaos.. 1owa, spshSs Msreh Vi Ii. III. III.
81 nave Ised your PAIN KILLER in severe cases Of
r~-.. oAsSEaylIIE, a.. Fsb = ISL
a%S Hsys assd %aS sIRss r. Ssss
Haysqsea pzsar sa1s m sse ios q tssIve
sSoua allow e b. out of fa ahs siasi is%y No mother
ssssa az. Rsns %#ss.s
s..,, ever, ,ss,y 4 ;s':
u. 3. CONSULATE,
CREFELp, RHENIsH PRUSSIA. Feb. 9, 1881.
Ihaye known PERRY DAVIS PAIN KILLER almost
from the day It was introduced and after years of
observation and use regard Its presence In my
household as an f"disgensd6is M neeessity, -,
J.. y. POTTER, U. B. Consul.
BURroN-QN-TRENT, Eng.
had been several days suffering severely from
diarrhea. accompanied with intense pain, when
tried your PAIN KILLER, and found almost instant
relief. H. ]. NooNE.
n MONTAGUE ST., LONDON, ENG.
During residence Of twenty three years In India.
I have given u In many cases of diarrhma, dysen-
tery and cholera and never knew i TO fail to give
reflex II. CLARID0E.
No family can safely be without this
invaluable remedy. It's price brings it
within the reach Of all.
For sale by all druggists at Csc, 5Oc.
and $1.00 per bottle.
PERRY DAVIS & SON, Proprietors,
Providence, r. /.
The daily gazette., 1881-07-25

Burdette the humorist,is 6shingoff
the coast Of Nova Scotia. He caught
q Goldfish, but threw 1t back into the
water because it did net smell as
much like a game fish as the dried
Limburger Goldfish of the West.
The most skillful and desperate
robberies in Atlanta, Ca, are COM
mitted byboys fromeight to fourteen
years old who are said to rival"gam-
ins" of Paris and the gutter snipes
Of New York in shrewdness
-Four men and two women are now
living in Hanover Pa, who are sur
vivors of family Of eight men
and six women, al OF whom
were giants in size, the father and
two sons stood each 6 feet 4 inches
high, and the others varied from
feet inch to feet 6 inches, while
each Of the women was at least 5 feet
Q inches high.
The daily gazette., 1881-07-25
An Easy way to improve Soils.


A sandy soil is greatly improved by
mixisg sand with it. The clay renders
it more retentive to moisture and gases,
both of which promote the growth of
plants. Clayey soils are very greatly
benefited by the addition of sand. The
presence OF some sand in soil chiefly
composed of clay makes 1t easier to
work, whether the plow, harrow, cult
vator or hoe Is employed. The roller
will not crush q lump of hard, dry clay,
but it will completely break down one
composed of mixture of clay and sand.
In fact, large lamps are not likely to be
found In soils where there is consider
able amount of sand neither will a
hard crust be formed nor deep cracks
open. Nearly pure sand or clay is un-
suited to the growth of valuable plants,
but by combining the two, the founda-
ton of most excellent soil may be
formed. 1t is not uncommon for one
part of farm to abound In clay and
another in sand. When this is The case,
an effort should be made to combine the
| two. Sand often lies on hills and
ridges situated above the deposits OF
clay, aud when this occurs the former
can be easily carried on to the latter by
the use of the scraper. To carry the
clay to the sand it will be necessary to
employ wagon. Two pieces Of land,
one composed of sand and the other OF
clay, may be SO situated that cart or
wagon can be advantageously employed
in carrying both. When this is the case,
load Of sand can be taken to the clay
lane. and a load of clay brought back.
The condition of clay land may be
greatly improved by combining with it
any substance that will serve to render
and keep 1t light. Cornstalks, sawdust
spent tan-bark, and vegetable rubbish Of
any kind may be plowed IN to excellent
advantage. Peat and swamp muck are
valuable to apply to either clay or sand,
and can generally be cheaply obtained
| South and Vest.
The daily gazette., 1881-07-25

The above quotation was forclbiy
brought to mind the other day by hear
Ing q young lady remark that she would
not now be dying with Consumption II
she had taken Sfne's Syru ;, of Tar,
wild Cherry and HOreh0und, IN
No mber last, and cured her cold, as a
len d of hers did,
The daily gazette., 1881-07-25
A well.Filred Postal Card.

pTOh Iu6 6bOChtOa k1Cidius
A month or two ago j. E. Richard
son, of this city, received postal card
from his brother in Haynesville, Iowa,
containing over 5000 words. 1t was
written to HIM as letter, and the
writing upon 1T was so fine that it re-
qulred a magnifying glass to read a
portion OF it. Mr.. Richardson made
up his mind not to be outdone, and
four weeks ago made preparations to
reply in the same style. He wrote
during his leisure moments an answer,
which he brought to close to- day, the
space on the card having been entirely
consumed. When his task was com.
pleted he counted the number ol
words and found that he had o,471, q
number exceeding the one be had re.
ceived by over !, 900. 1t was writer
with a steel pen, and could be read
without the aid of q glass.
The daily gazette., 1881-07-25
Another New shooter.

From the Springfield Republican.
DIR. Gatllng of Hartford the inven.
tor of the Gatling gun, has produced
a gun that is said to be the best one
yet. It will be mounted on the gun
vale of a ship with apparatus for
sweeping three fourths Of the horizon
and the range is three miles ,at least
1t has rlfled steel barrel 504 inches
long, with a calibre of ! AS inches
and throws solid shot weighing l
pounds and steel pointed, capable Of
piercing the iron casing Of a torpedo
boat three miles away. 1t is breech-
loader, and is fed by hand, but the
loading and firing is automatic. Two
men can manage it. 1t ls called the
Gatling torpedo gun.
The daily gazette., 1881-07-25

"OfalI sad erds OF tongue or pen,
The saddest are these, 'it m ignt nave
heen -
The daily gazette., 1881-07-25
Great Inducements.

Oar great annual closing out sale
of spring and summer clothing at the
Boston One Price Clothing House
will com. mence on Saturday June 18
and continue until all are sold.
Extra special inducements offered
in boys and children's depar tment.
Every purchaser Of ofa suit will
receive present.
The presents consist Of silk hand
kerchiefs. neckwear, suspenders and
other articles too numerous to men
tion.
All are invited to attend the sale
and procure a bargain, ,and l am salts
fed they will go away happy.
v. e. HOLMES, Prop.
2l3 Market street.
jel7-eodtf.
The daily gazette., 1881-07-25

vIYANTED-All persons whe are .in
w want OF anything, to make Known
their wants through the columns oi tne
GAZETTE. ".
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1881-01-05

A Cur or TEA.-In a recent lecture by Mr..
G. r. Tweedie, F. G. s., London, on "A Cup
of Tea," the speaker divided his subject into
four sections-the tea, the water, the milk,
and the sugar. The lecturer first drew at
tention to tea drinking with everyday life
and showed that the principal components Of
tea were theme and the essential oil Of tannin,
He informed the audience that the best time
to take tea was about three hours after din
ner or any other heavy meal, and deprecated
in the strongest terms the excess to which tea
drinking is carried by some people, asserting
that such practice induced nervous disor-
ganization and impeded digestion. He show
ed that the sole difference between black and
green tea was one CT preparation, and that
both kinds could be obtained from the leaves
of the same plant. After asserting that the
adulteration of tea had very much decreased
of late years, which the tea drinking public
will be glad to know, the lecturer proceeded
to treat Of the various kinds of shrubs grown
in different parts Of the world and the coun-
tries where the differrnt kinds of teas were
consumed, and then came to the consideration
Of the milk, its value as nutritive agent,
and referring to its adulteration he made the
astounding assertion that in London alone
every year no less than 100000 was spent on
water which was sold as milk. Passing on
to regard the sugar, the lecturer denied the
common error that sugar was injurious to the
teeth, bringing forward as an example the
negroes Of Jamaica, who, he said, though
they were the greatest eaters of sugar in the
world, were proyerbial for their beautiful
teeth.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1881-01-05
POETRY.
THE PRAYER OF JESUS.

PRAYED the Christ, when. pale and dying,
On the cruel cross He hung;
When the teinple-veil was rended,
And the night DER day was flung ~
When the heartless soldiers spear point
Pierced His anguished tosom thro'
Father, o. forgive, forgive them,
For they know not what they dol"
Mocking lips His woes derided-
Heads were bowed in seornful pride;
Judas had betrayed his Master
Peter thrice his Lord denieu;
Yet still prayed the Christ unceasng,
While His gasping breath He drew;
Father. o, forgive, forgive them,
For they know not what they doi'
o, my suffering fellow mortals,
On the cross of earthly woes,
Bearing SCOTS. and scorns, aud scourges.
Angry words and cruel blows,
Can ye pray as did the Jesus
When no helping hand He knew:
Father. o. forgive, forgive them,
For they know not what they DEF"
We, whose bruised and broken spirits
Sink beneath ccatinuai strife
fe, all faint and worn with suffering
BY the weary way of life
Can you say for them that crush you.
When your friends are weak and few.
Father. O, forgive, forgive them,
For they know not what they do 2"
Know We not that all oppressors
Are themselves the most oppressed
Needing all our kind compassion
More, far more, than ali the rest
And, therefore, we should pray for them,
Tho they pierce our vitals through:
Father, o, forgive, forgive them.
For they know not what they do,h
Yes all yes. dear. blessed martyrs.
Let us let ..iae Angels see
f1OW we learn from oiir Great Teacher
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1881-01-05
ROSE OF CASHMERE HAIR ToaIc
aal Arch St.. pHILA., Pa,

Is the Best Hair Restorative and Hair Dressing known
u preserves. softens and beauties the hair and gives
II rich lustre.
II is richly perumed and renders the Of pomades
hair oils, DC, unnecessary.
1t Is excellent for an Irritating infamed scalp.
II never turns rancid.
II is made from the roses of the Valley of Cashmere
and being eniify free from Lead, Sulphur and other
poisonous and Irritating substances, is highly priced
by thousands who have used 1t.
1t has worldwide reputation because II does Its
work effectuay.
To give the public opportunity ofthorougly testing
It's xeellent qualities we have put into the market
Manufactured at N. W. cor. 3D. aud Callowhill Sts,
Phiia, Pa.
Dec. IS, 1880.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1881-01-05
A EIn1E All other liniments have failed
al IL - TRY DIR, WARES
ELECTRIC RELIEF!

By taking informally 1t viii cure cholera, cholera
morbus, diarrhna. dysentery cramp collie. asthma,
phthisie influenza, spasms. sick headache. morning
sickness heartburn sour stomach. pain In the back
and sunsfruke Applied externally Il win relieve you
Of rheumatism neuralgia, throat, iumbago ear
ache, toohache, iafaed breasts, mum s govt. peurisy,
pneumonia frost bites, hruisas spraus barns scalds
wounds contracted tendons eucorrbea swollen joints
tip2s and bites 0f insects. sud by druggists and
keepers generally Wholesale depot y. W. corner Sd
and callowhill Sis. Philadelphia, p.
June 23.-ty
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1881-01-05

A bicycle has been invented which carries
the little wheel In front of the big one. This
will prevent the annoyance experienced ia the
present bicycle, when the little wheel takes a
notion to climb up the riders back, aud,
failing, leaves him studying astronomy gu Che
sidewalk, after header
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1881-01-05
Or. JONES TARAXACUM TONIC

OR Dyspepsia Medicine, Vegetable Compound whose
" virtues have stood test Of forty years is nfaible
In the cure Of Dyspepsia. General Debility, Chronic
Weakness of Lungs. Spleen, Kidneys, Short Breath,
Heartburn, St. vtus Dance, Pain In the Stomach, Back
and Chest. Particularly adapted to all Female Disea-
ses no matter what the age of the patient may be.
Price as cents Sold by druggists
ASA JONES, Propr, sIs N. Sd St.. Phiia- Pa.
June 23.-1v.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1881-01-05

That was witty man who, being detained
by snow blockade, penned dispatch which
ran thus my dear sir, have every motive
for visiting you except locomotive" So
was the other who in similar circumstance
telegraphed to his firm in New York: ~
shall not be in the Office to-day, as have not
got home yesterday yet"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1881-01-05

"What's wrong between you and Mr..
Smythe that you didn't speaka 2" "Haw
Fact is, we were both wivals for the hand Of
the same young lady--a celebwatsd beauty,
you know--and-well, don't want to bwag,
but I got the best of it. Poor Smythe y
Z" My dear fellow, thousand congratula-
,tions 1" "Tnanks awflyi We both pro-
posed last week, you know, and she accepted
--a-hini '--Punch.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1881-01-05

An Iowa farmer declares upon his solemn
honor as a gentleman that the last grassLol,-
per leaving the state stood on a gate posi- ar.
said "Get some more fence rails ready ~
us by uext june. - 1Yorfistope Htfa5@
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1881-01-05

is Tor all ordinary diseases OF Horses Cattle
Sheep and SWINE 1t cures and prevents CHICKEN
CHOLERA. Your COW is certain to yield 10 CENT.
MORE AND BETTER MILK AND BUTTER. Stock Faftens
on One Fourth less Eeedf
Being in possession of large number of excellent
testimonials, subjon few
have been using your Cattle Powder for horses,
cows, chickens and pigs, and find II FIRsT-cIAss
thing.-George Bond, Germantown, Pa.
Please send me half gross OF Cattle Powder have
used two packs on my cow and chickens The COW
gave nearly twice the quantity of milk that she did
fore, and gave twice the amount of butter My chick
dying, but cured Immediately after had
used the powder. Yours truly, Jonas Pasour Dallas
NC.
have used and compared your Cattle Powder with
all Others and say 1t is the best for horses cattle
sheep, hogs &c. have tried 1T on poultry for many
complaints, with success in every case.-Jonathan
Weaver, Berryburg. Pa.
Last summer you sent me package of your powder
which gave to my poultry, and have not had one
droopy turkey or chicken since.-Mrs' VIM. Knapp,
Orange N. Y.
Send me pack or two Of your Cattle Powder. The
pack got from you last winter cured the chicken
cholera. gave some of 1t to neighbor and it cured
his chickens-John Williams, Spruce Vale Ohio.
Address for pamphlet full of useful information
for the farmer. horseman or dairyman.
T. A. MILLER,
33l Arch ST.. PHILA, Pa.
June %, 1ssO.-1y.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1881-01-05
;RocEas SELL AscHEsBAcn & MILLER's
FAMILY CHOCOLATE,

article superior 10 quality and lower In price than
any other in the market prominent and experienced
New York physician gives 1t his opinion that choco
late Is preferable coffee because It adds strength
the body life 10 the exhausted BRAIN quiefs the
system harmonzes the workings of the digest
i've organs, ana gives purity to the blood.
For snperfne CONNECTION, ask your confectioner for
our Sweet Spiced Vanilla Chocolate. Aschenbaeh &
Miller, Sd and Callowhiil sts., Pha.. Pa Sept %.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1881-01-05
now TO BE- 4 TRUE GENTLEMAN

When you go to the Post Office, carry with
| you a cheap cigar, and while making the air
as blue as you can, slobber on the floor, that
the ladies may have the satisfaction of drag
ging their dresses through it; they dearly
love to do 1t.
They also enjoy the odor of cheap cigariu
preference to the AROMA Of any other perfum-
cry.
Don't forget the three cent stinker when
you 60 to the Post Office.
After leaving the Post Office, go and squat
on ledge or doorstep, and whilst believing
the sidewalk with tobacco juice, get up q
spirited conversation with half dozen other
squatters, 10 which you will take pains to In
troduce all the obscenity and profanity YOU
can. The ladies perfectly reuel in the remarks
that they catch as they pass by You in the
street. In fact this Is all the ladies' 60 out Of
an evening for.
Or, you might support your delicate carcass
against post or building, and after conplc
of dozen of your intimate friends have cou
gregated about you--all provided with tho
all-important three cent stinkers---smoke
grandiloquently, taking care to blow the
smoke in the faces of passing ladies ; then,
once in while. you might slobber profusely
on the sidewalk, and when particularly
good looking young lady comes along, remark
in chorus loudly with your mates, "Thars
my girl" after which you may call her
"dear" or something of that sort. Girls,
never 60 oft for any other purpose.
When going along the street, swaggcr aud
talk loud, it makes people respect you. AL
ways use discretion when out of an evening !.
for instance, never insult girl who has q
brother bigger than you are.
Go to church regularly. Get there just at
the close Of the sermon, aud join the line
formed on either side of the door by your
mates, where you will perform the standing
tactics described for the street
Lastly, always look out distinctly for us.
When carrying an umbrella, endeavor to
shove it into the eyes Of each passer-by.
| Never allow lady to get too close to tie
delivery window of the Post Office She
might get her mail before you do yours. En-
deavor TO thwart all such purposes, for it is
essentially necessary you should get your
mail first. A LADY.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1881-01-05

Never run up small debts. Creditors arc
like children--the smaller they are the more
they cry Val Street Gazette.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1881-01-05

The girls have taken to carrying canes, and,
young man, if you don't want your eye prod
ded out, mind it, Boston Post.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1881-01-05
The Only True rIaIariaI Antidote.

DR. HoLMASs PAD is no guess-work remedF-no fec
BILE initiative experimentation parloined hodsepodge Of
some other Inventors ideas 1t Is the ORIGINAL AND
ONLY GENUINE CURATIVE FAD, the only remedy
that mas an honesty-acqured right TO use the title
word PaD in connection with treatment for
chronic diseases OF the sao'aoch Lsrer aud Spleen
by recently perfected Improvement erected by the
remedial value and absOrptive adapability. DIR. oL
fulness and apprecablY augmented its active curative
power
This great improvement gives HoLMAN's PAD Nv tn
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1881-01-05
GREAT GIFT SALEIl
BY
W. H. FLETCHER,
Nos. 80 4 36 East State Street,
NToN, N. ].

LEADING PRESENTS:
No. l. An Elegant Estey Parlor Organ
No. 2. A Beautiful Mantel Clock.
No. 8. One Pair Fine Steel Engravings.
No. 4. One Pair Panel Oil Paintings.
No. 5. One Decorated Toilet Set.
No. 6. One Pair Fine Panel Photo
graphs.
No. z. One Decorated Tea Set.
No. 8. One Pair Gilt Figures.
No. 9. One Pair Gold and Green Lava
Figures.
No. 10. One Pair Cabinet Easels.
No. IL. One Splendid Lamp.
No. IL. One Large Lava Horse.
SEND FOR CIRCULAR.
To all those customers who dc not wish to compete
for the leading presents. will give each, the
presentation Of Five Gift Cards. the choice of any art
Gle in store which retail for SO To all
tese who present Ten Gift Cards will give the
choice Of any article which retail for 80 cents and
Gin Cards we will present In the same proportion ;
provided that all such Git ards shall be presented
or before the last day Of December, 1880
Nov TO- 1880. -asn