The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1881-07-29
ALLEGED BITS OF wlr.

04b66&t0 o&4S ~ WS@s
Follow the example Of irees--keep some
things in the shade.-Syracuse Standard.
A pig was never known TO wash, but =
great many people have seen the pig iron.-
Commercial Baiieiin. 4
The best press ever made-two loving
arms. And Il is press that Is never left out
on account Of other matter.
If there Is war In Russia we presume
eveiy Russian Mas-co-vite. tPretty bad,
amt it?)-Wt and Wisdom.
Soubreite--" How Is the prettiest way TO
hold the band ?" Why, so the other side
can'f see what cards you've GOT Boston
Post: ~ 81 Il
Rev. George Fl. Hepworth has written .
romance entitled"!l!." 1t is In sss, and the
interest Is 'tling and una=ed.-Losoeu
Courier. ta
Ginger jar decorators are now turning
their attention to the common wooden horse
bucket - all,ing ON which tn expend their
decorative skill.
Albany ordered three hundred electric
lights. Owners Of property did not dare
let II get dark when the Legislature was
there. Boston Post.
We feel so happy over the good news from
Washington that we feel we will be pardoned
for making a joke, aud saying that the Presi-
dent will now Guiteau-ver it.--LosoeH
Courier.
Picnic lemonade Is now made Of acetic
acid, glucose and cochineal. This will not
kill Immediately unless oxalic acid is put In
by mistake. as happened recently.-Cincin-
natl Commercial. -
| A disgusted person writes 10 the newspa-
pers to say that II Is about time to drop Gui-
teau. We are Of the same opinion, and
would suggest six feet as very good dis
tance.- Cincinnati Enquirer.
Patti will visit America with her own
manager. It Is rumored that the price Of
seats will be $40. From this we judge that
Patti Is basllful and doesn't desire TO sing to
large audiences Boston Post.
vassar has one smart girl who will In the
hereafter be heard Of In women's rights so
cieties. She desci ibed "straw" as being q
hollow thing with l0-cent man on one end
Of 1t and 20-cent drink on the other end.
The Rev. DIR. Dumbell "a newly icdged
dlyine) -. Hello, what's this. Essie pic
ture If me? Do you think it's a good like-
ness?" Essie CATER pause)-'' No! Guess
I'll put tail on 1t and cali 1t dog."--Iar-
uard Lampoon.
C,nklng now says he resigned because be
thought the world would come to an end Oh
the 18th, AID iIe didr't wish TO be caught IL
such company on the last day. But, as th.
prophecy was not fulfilled, he Is now willing
To return to Washington.-OH City Derrick
Dill you ever know tailor who was mo-
prepared to sell you as COED asuit for twent,
dollars as the one you've got on at thirty-iy,
dollars Grip. When We are able 70 wea
. thirty FIVE dollar suit We will answer tha
question--C -Cosbrtd0s Tribune.
In Texas there lived fair maid,
| And fellow he called her . jade;
She grabbed for a gun,
He started to run,
But was neatly and instantly Stayed.
Detroit Free Press.
William SprAgne, Of Rhode Island, ha
spent fortune Of 81, 100000 left him b
his father during tbs last twenty years. A
b. didn't starr daily paper to oil long-fsl
ant, IL is difficult 10 understand how he ex
pended 90 much money in that period.
he had employed q plumber three months i
year he ought 10 still have couple .
thousand left.-N NorrtstorH Herald. liza
Boys composition after dong the menaC
erie: The rhinozerus lives In Ashar, asi
you kant stick pin in i'm, cause his wes
skt is bilt ov old stoves. When rhinozeru
- gonter be kild, yu mus alwaxe 80 up :
him from before, soez hs'll kno somethin' {
IL, an try an make place for . built to &
In. His nose is got upper teeth that's got n
business whsr Il IL, aud u boy should 81
down Oh IL, he better stay plugged up wit
the tooth, rels he'll be all one pure. !
rather be p,iliwog, II i was . rhinoseru
!. tho spose Il VINE lwoodnt.