Gloucester County Democrat. (Woodbury, N.J.) 1878-1932, 1881-02-24
BUMOR OF THE DAY.

70 make successful run for Office a
man must initiate snow. He must come
down occasionally. Philadelphia Claro-
asicle.
The Canadian weather prophet in
forms the world through the Oil City
Derrick that no weather is genuine nn-
less Vennor's name is blown on the
bottle.
Improve the evenings" /" says an ex-
change, and the NorristoYn Herald adds
that it is needed, for some evenings this
year have not been fit to be recognized
by decent people.
We sare informed by the immortal
declaration that all men are born free
and equal. How is it with twinsg Does
a twin have an equal chance with the
rest Of humanity ?-Bosto,a Transcript
January, sneezy; February, freely
March, breezy April, Eheezy;
May, shoTery; June, lOWery;
July, bowery; August, showery;
September, biowey October, fowey;
November, snowy; December, gloWey.
LoIiSrille Courier Journal
Statistics show that fewer marriages
occur upon Friday than upon any other
day Of the week. Friday is considered
unlucky, you know A crusty old bach
elor whispers in our ear that marriage
is unlucky, no matter what the day
Boston Tran ipt.
MA" said young impudenee at
breakfast, this morning, this is the
last pie you made, amt it n Yes,
my son; why?n, II guess you had to
paint the stufing in with brush. It's
awful thin" Sentenced to go pieless
until he can cultivate proper spirit of
appreciation.-Nel0 Hacets Register.
A crushed youths revenge: Ambitious
boy Mother, may 1 go out West and
fight Indians ?s Mother" No, my
son, but you may 60 down to the cellar
and fetch me up scuttle Of coal. !"
Thereupon the heart-crushed lad swore
eternal hostility to society and forth
with became plumbers apprentice
Brookly,a Eagle.
A creditor who had given his debtor
a week to contrive some plan to meet
his obligations called at the expiration
of the period and politely asked:
g Have you thought over that matter
yet 4" Not exactly responded the
debtor with troubled look; "you see
I wanted to think Of it good deal but
the very day you left my doctor told
me | mustn't do any brain work. >"
Brooklyt' Eagle.
A fond Galveston wife presented her
husband with a beautiful suit of blue
cloth as New Years gift. She was
looking at him yesterday, when it
struck her that the cloth was fading.
Said she: That suit don't look near as
blue as it did when you got it, "That
is rather strange, for T feel bluer than
ever in it since got the bill, / assure
You. ! changed color as soon as I saw
it. p Cohesion Netcs.
They were Watching the sea-guIls
whirling in graceful circles above the
waters Of the bay, while the rays Of the
sinking sun covered the landscape with
a food Of gold. Finally he turned to
her, and in a voice trembling with emo
ton, asked: Darling, if we were sea-
gulls, would you fly away with me and
be ut rest m To which she answered.
with her gaze fixed on far-off mass Of
castellated clouds: q No, George; I'd
let you fly away, and then I'd have all
the rest wanted here"
Sam Johnsing is the colored porter
in large Galveston business house,
which is proverbial for not paying its
employees living wages. The other
day the head of the firm called Sam
back just as he was going to dinner and
said to him: 4 wanted to ask yOn
something, Sam, but to save my life I
can't remember what it was q Per
haps, said Sam, 4 you was gwine to
ask me how de deuce I keep soul and
body togedder on seven dollars q
week p Gdl1eston Nears.
A French chemist claims to be able
to create thunder-stoTms at pleasure.
each one having an area of SIX miles
square. 1t is hoped he viii be sup
pressed before his secret is made known
to the public. # the people generally
were to possess such q gift, the thunder
storms would average at least one day
all the year round. A Sunday-school
couldn't have picnic without some
mean member Of an opposition church
bringing down d thunderstorm upon
their heads. This wouldn't be SO bad,
however, for Sunday-school picnics are
accustomed to such things; but imagine
how it would be during a presidential
campaign It would be impossible to
have torchlight procession without hav-
ing thunderstorm at the same time.
The Democrats would make it unpleas-
ant for the Republican turn-outs and the
Rerublicans would drench the Demo-
cratic demonstrations. The French
chemist can't be swept out Of existence
a minute too soon Nra-.isEoae,, Hs,-r,l1