Morning journal and courier., 1881-06-11
GLUCOSE.

s'We Kissed Beneath the Moonlight is the
title of new song. Reckless creatures,
don't YOU know ''The heavens are telling ?''
Cincinnati Saturday Night.
From the accounts given by the Lond on
papers it seems that Archer won the Der by
all by himself. OF course it was handy to
have Iroquois along, but his presence did not
affect the result.-Chicago Tribune.
If great many young mems clothes didn' t
fit them till they paid the tailor, we would
see lot of noble young bloods going around
town like loaded clothes line Tapping in the
idle breezes of a summer day.-Steuhen0tHe
Herald.
Probably the meanest man on record keeps
a boarding house in San Domingo. Last
winter an earthquake turned the edifice clear
upside down. and the very next morning he
began charging the garret dodgers first floor
prices.-San Francisco Post.
"At Bordeaux said one, "if you let a
match fall to the ground, the next year there
will grow up a forest" cat Marseilles,' -
cried the other triumphantly 'you let sus
pender button fall, and in eight days you will
have pair of pantaloons ready made. -
French Fun.
If the principles of the Institute of Heredi-
ty are carried out, the lover of the future
will address his souls idol as follows: "Ade-
lima Jane Maria, being scientifically mashed
upon you, may inquire if you have certlfl.
cate from, the Institout of Moral and Physical
Perfection ?"-Neao York Commercial Ad0er-
tsser.
4 r,rizs show of parrots was held in the
north of England. After many others had
been brought forward in front of the judges,
one bird, on having its cover removed, won
the prize by reclamation. Looking around
on the company in which it had been SO sud
denly introduced, it exclaimed, by JoVe!
what a lot of parrots"
us it true that you are going to marry
aoain P,' ..It's very true" "And whom do
you marry Pr ''My dead wife's sister" 'sIs
she handsome ?" ono" Rich P" mot at
ALL" 'srhen why have you chosen her ?"
ssTo tell you the truth, dear friend, in order
not to change mother-in law. ."-PGrss Jour-
71al
At a recent church gathering the question
came up for discussion whether series of
prayer meetings should be held or straw
berry festival be given. The advocates of
the strawberry festival were of course tri-
umphant. They argued that the church
might live without prayer meetings. but
without strawberry festivals never.-Boston
Transcript.
Scene at the ball-Short sleeves. "No
thank you, Mr.. B., I'm not dancing this
eyeniny." (Rashly) GIVE just been vacci
mated" Mr.. B. Onaequainted with re-
sources of feminine ingenuity healiy
Didn't take, did it? Don't see any mark on
your ARM Short sleeves (behind her fan
and thinking of her remark.) mo, guess
it didn't take. .'n-AlbGny Argus.
He was praising her beautiful hair and beg
ging for one tiny curl, when the little broth
er said. "Oh, my, faint nothing now. You
lust ought to have seen how long it hangs
down when she hangs it on the table to
comb it" Then they laughed and she called
her brother cute little angel, and when the
young man was going away, and heard the
boy yelling, he thought the lad was taken
suddenly and dangerously i'll.
Topnoody made up his mind that he was
not going to be bossed any longer by his
wife, SO when he went home at noon he
called out imperiously: Mrs. Topnoody,
Mrs. Topnoody!'' Mrs. T. came out of the
kitchen with drop of sweat on the end of
her nose. dishrag around her head and Ia
rolling pin in her hand. ..WeIl, sir," she
said "what'n you have 7' Topnoody stag
aered, but braced up. Mrs. Topnoody,
want YOU to understand, madam"-and he
tapped his breast dramatically-sI am the
engineer of this establishment ''Oh, you
are. are you? Well, Topnoody, I want you
to understand that I'''-and she looked dam
eerous-ssam the boiler that will blow up
and sling the engineer into the next county.
Do YOU hear the steam escaping, Topnoody &"
Topnoody heard it. and he meekly inquired
if there was any assistance he could render
in the housework. Steubengigle Herald