The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1881-06-17
ALLEGED BITS OF WIT.
The Reading Times asks "What shall We
drink !" Did you ever try water?

The Reading Times asks "What shall we
drink" ?" Did you ever try water?
A western editor wrote an article on "Rhu-
barb" and the compositor made pi of it.
I.onkers Statesman.
There are over S362,900,0O0 of national
bank notes in circulation, and yet how often
they elude our grasp.-Neo Hdcen Register.
Astronomer Proctor says the world will
las. so, ,0O0, 600 years yet. That will do. Any
man who demands more is hog.-N. w.
World. !.
The Philadelphia Chronicle is anxiously
waiting to see If the Revised Testament will
press autumn leaves as good as the other
edition.
A Chicago drummer is in limbo i'm a Wis
consin Jail for hitting hotel landlord with
twenty-one out of a possible twenty-three
goldfish balls.
The inhabitants of the Cannibal Islands
say that the flesh of American politicians
tastes exactly like mule-meat.- Philadelphia
Chronicle Herald.
.sLet me see," said some one to Dean Tai
fourd, on cold winter day, 81 believe you
never wear great coat9" "No," was the
quick reply, 81 never was"
We have heard considerable about the
habit girls have OF sitting on one leg. It's a
very bad one, particularly if the leg doesn't
belong to .heyoung lady.-Hartford Sunday
Journal.
A lady once asked Sidney Smith for
motto for her dog, who's name was Spot. He
suggs sted "Out, damned Spot" for be didn't
like dogs, having once been severly bitten by
lady's pet.
"I'll Beta quarter that / win Gamma
two" said the classical player.-Erratic
Enrique. That all depends on whether he
was Delta good hard. But Phi on such
jokes as these. They are not worth an Iota.-
Baltimore Erery Saturday.
They had been engaged for long time
and one evening they were reading the paper
together. "Look, love-" he exclaimed,
"only fifteen dollars for a suit of Clothes"
ais 1t a wedding suit?" she asked, looking
naively at her lover. "Oh, no." she answer
ed, sit Is a business suit" "Well, l meant
business" she replied.
There was joy on the farm when Ben, the
Oldest boy, came back from college in his
sophomore year, and the village was proud
of him. "Cheese 1t, Gully, he said when he
met an old friend, the SON of neighbor
who joined farms with his father; " cheese
1t Gully; shove us your fipper; clench pad
dies. How's his nibs aud what's the new
racket" And his proud old father said:
"It's worth MORN twic't tie money to hear
Ben rattle off Greek just like living lam
guage."
/. The Irish question: An Englishman and
his Irish friend, while slipping their beer IN a
saloon not ten miles from Court square the
other evening, became involved in a wordy
contest over the present condition of affairs
in the Emerald Isle. The Ceit waxed wroth
over the wrongs of his native land. and pre-
dicted that before great while England's
control would cease, for, said he, "there are
10000 armed men in Ireland ready to rise
at moments netice." The Englishman
asked: "Why don't they rise, thens" To
this query Pat replied In cautious whisper,
after tapping his interlocutor contidentially
on the arm: "Whist! begorra! the perlice
won't lei them; bad cess to the blaggards."
RoSfou Herald