Montgomery County sentinel., 1881-05-27
Men-Maids Marriage.

fond OF women whom he is unwilling 70
marry. The saying is partially true, though
no truer than its sconverse-that many man
is willing to marry woman Of whom be is
not very fond, or, indeed, not fond at ALL
The idea indicated is that man may enjoy
the society of a woman and love to fiirt with
her, and yet be afraid from prudential mo-
tives to make her his wife, This frequently
happens, but far less frequently than might
be thoughts and when it happens, the man
is cautious and inclined to reflect on the sub
iect of his affections and affinties But mar
riage generally has little TO do with reason
probably because II ought TO have so much
to do with it-being determined, for the most
part, by instinct, impulse, passion. Asa rule,
doubtless, a man will marry any woman
with whom he is habitually thrown in CON
tact, when there is no great disparity of
years or circumstances between them, and
when she knows how to humor his egotism
The old-fashioncd notion that men. look
with totally different eye on woman when
they want q wife from what they look on
women generally cannot be sustained. AL
belt there are men ever in quest of connu-
blal partner, the mass Of them get such a
partner without searching for her They
are very apt to be surprised into matrimony,
or, least, into matrimonial intents--prcvided
of course, that the matter be not taken out
Of their hands by the woman herself No
man is so likely TO become engaged as he
who is persuaded that he will never be-. He
is so prepared on one side for circumstances
Of certain kind that he is wholly ungnaried
on the other side for circumstances Of an
opposite kind. At the very moment that he
is confident of everlasting celibacy, that he
is rejoicing over his freedom, u sudden shit
IN sentimental environment, word,
blush, a tear, n caress, decides his doom.
What kind Of woman is man most
likely to marry2 A general answer might
be, any kind Of u woman, the kind being
largely determined by contiguity and oppor-
tunity. A popular notion is that she whois
prudent, conventional, domestic, has the best
conjugal prospects; while she who isipdis-
Greet, obedient to impulse, fond Of pleasure,
has the worst prospects. Ancient splnsters,
noted for prlmness, aud matrons Of the
solemn order, incline TO tell lght-hearted,
rollicking girls that they are throwing away
good chances; that marrying men are de-
TERED by their glddiness from serious CON
slderation Of the main subject. These are
drawn, IL is asserted, 10 industrious, demnre,
unworldly maidens, who show at d. gIauce
that they are matrimonlally foreordained
AS the theory this may bespeclous, brt facts
do not bear it out-the contrary, rather.
Men prone 10 cooperative housekeeping
approve Of the industrious, demnre, un-
worldly creatures; they think they would
make excellent wives, and wonder why
some other man does not marry them. But
they seldom marry such women themselves
Why don't they2 They could not tell If
they should try They know, however, that
they don't, and that they don't want 10.
There seem to be two sorts Of girls--those
that ought, because specially fit, to be mar
red, and never are married, and those that
never should and never will be, and yet in
variably get married. The former are usu-
ally the dcmure, industrious, unworldly, do.
nestle; the latter are the easy, careless,
merry, Imprudent, froicsome, saucy girls,
Of whom men become enamorcd for no rea-
son at all, and in spite Of themselves. When
man falls in love and can't climb out
readily, he avails himself Of marriage, and
is often extricated thereby without intend
ing IL. He is no more logical in matrimony
than in ceibacy; the same thing that makes
him lover turns him into a husband, and
he is thrice blessed If he does not discover
sharp and sudden difference between the
two. II Is passion, not reason, and Is called
the divine passion because IL isso thoroughly
human.
Men generally like one kind Of women
and love another kind. The one kind they
nre commonly recommended To wed, and
don't the other kind they are advised not
to wed, and do. Which Is the better--to
take wife because you love her, Hymen
alone knows, and he won't tell II You do
tiAbth VI JOh itHtnts il'iN v
no absolute safety In wedlock or out Of II.
No mans experience is good for another
man. and our own experiences in erratic af-
fairs is rarely valuable for every time
man falls in loyc--and he has great alacrity
In this way--the accident varies, though the
effect is unatered. No man can say what
sort of woman will be his wife, and if he
be wise he wont express any opinion ON
the subject lie may cherish many views
and have many beliefs thereupon, but the
more Of these he has the less likely they
are TO be confirmed lie who insists, in his
bachelor days, that his wife shall be beauty,
is apt 10 find her plain. lie who cannot en-
dure woman without intellect surrcnders
To one never suspected Of il. The deyotec
Of order discovers himself mated with the
embodiment OF confusion. The stickler lor
elegance sees, when the glamour OF court
ship has been removed, that he is joined to
"A dowdy.
Marriage goes, to a certain extent, by con
trusts, If not by contraries. A woman, still
less than a man, gets the husband shs piints
10 her fancy. Her connnbial ideas are com
monty regulated by her age and experience.
The man she desires at sixteen or seventeen
would be burden at twenty, and her ideal
at twenty might prove a bore at twenty-five.
She begins with sentimentalism and ends
with soberness vanity impels her first, but
sympathy holds her last. She Is frequently
surprised at the offers she receives, and still
more surprised at the offers she does
not receive. The loyee that comes at first
sight rarely rcmains 1t is apt TO be born of
the eye, not Of the temperament. The love
that grows generally endures and produces
fruit. Love and marriage are not related as
we think the should be. Love-matches often
turn out i'll, and matches without love turn
out well. No one can tell what love Is
nor can any one guess what marriage will
bring. We are all, when young, full of
thoughts and theories about both, and in
dividual experience Is ever contradicting