The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1881-07-21
HUMOR,

! ~Homely women look the best in bic
hats. We state this in the hope of see-
ing only small hats at the tbeaters.
l'.-New York Graphic. - :'
Chang, the Chinese giant. is not lazy,
! perhaps, ibut he lies longer in bed than
any other man in this country. Nor
rz7stoicm Herot@ -a;u seef. ,fts.ss
| A naturalist has discovered that
monkeys may be taught TO dance.
This brings the natural animal only one
step nearer. the society man.
''Gracious, wife," said q fond father,
rs he looked at his son Williams torn
.trowsers, '.get that little Bill reseated!" !"
and she replied, ''Sew will.'' sst.s.
Mrs. Ferglston is thrifty soul She
uses no indigo in her washing. She
always hangs her clothes out of a windy
day and the wind blews them.
When you kiss a Boston girl she
holds stit until you are through, when
she fares up all at once and sayss Il
think you should be ashamedi" IN,
= Europe has thus received an old song,
of which the tune is familiar:. 1--WE bet
our money upon La Belle France, will
anybody bet on the Bey!" S
AlOJ OO.totS Ol tt CltlLCu WIZ lttu Ills
hair cut. his photograph taken, was
q tooth extracted all in, one day without
saying mill-dam.
The following advertisement appeared
lately in provincial paper: t'Wanted,
a man and his wife to look after alarm,
and dairy with religious turn of
mind without incumbrance."
''Remember who. you are talking to,
sir, y said an indignant parent to frac-
tious boys II am your father" '.Well,
who's to blame for that?" said the
young impertinence. 'Tain't me-"
''The ripest peach is on the highest
tree" says James Riley. James shows
his ignorance. The ripest peach is in
the bottom layer of the basket every
time, and it is generally about nine
shades too ripe.
A Whitehall chap, dressed in his best
clothes and lavender pants, was on his
way to see his sweetheart, when an old
bell-wether went for him and butted
him head over heels into mud-puddle
His visit was postponed on account of
the wether.
4 want to be anInjun'
e And with the Injuns stand,
blanket on my shoulders
And Il rifle in my hand,
Without lick of work to do
Throughout the livelong year,
But draw my rations and make squat
TerS skip OFF OH their
- NEW ORLEANS TIMES.
! New York Commercial: Won't some
chemist invent face powder that does
not. contain, lead and tastes goodP Our
young men are all dying of lead pois-
oning. and kissing is going out of fash
ion. -'tt - szt
Lotta Darling is clairvoyant at
Mass, but her second sight
was not strong enough to discern the
of her husband while another
man was kissing her. or fight might
have been prevented.
Washington Capital: Emma Abbott
was great admirer of Byron; but last |
week, when she read in .'Beppo" the |
words of Lord George: 81 hate u dumpy |
she threw the volume into the |
fire, and wept bitterly"
Norristown Herald: A magazine ar
ticle asks: ''Have women intuitions?''
That depends. If intuitions are FASH |
ionable this year, and cost from ten to |
fifty dollars, it is safe to wager that q |
great many women have them.
..Italian women are said to be at |
work in mems clothes on the railroad |
near Phenicia, Ulster county, New |
York; p This is nothing. There are |
thousands of women at work in mems |
clothes. 1t is done while their hus- |
bands are asleep.
Over the signature of an indianapolis |
appears the following: '.Now.
give fair warning that l will carry /
with me, the next time go out after
lark, q bottle of vitriol, and the first |
who addresses me as 'Sweety' |
IL Beauty will catch it right in the
Eyes"