Connecticut western news., 1881-10-19
E 7T'-E
 THE LIME-KILN CLUB.
Making Angels of Themselves = Thrown Outline Outlook.
From the Detroit Free Press

Making Angels of Themselves - Thrown Outline Outlook. From the Detroit Free Press.1
 "Doan' seek to make angels of yer selves," quietly began Brother Gardner as the meeting opened. "In de fust place dis am n o sort O kentry fur angels, an in de next place you would be mighty lonesome. De man or woman who be- comes so sweet an soft an good dat dey expect ebery mint to rise up an fly, doan' take as much comfort as folks who feel dat it will be clus shave to git inter Heaven. A leetle wickedness pickles a When I trade mules wid man prefer dat he should suspect me wid an inten- shun to moke an eben $25 by the opera shun. When I deal wid butcher l like to feel dat he will work in fo' ounces of bone fur ebery eight ounces of meat if doan' watch him. I like to have de bootmake tell me dat American cow skin am French calf, an I am pleased when de sto' clerk warrants fo' cent cali ker to wash like sheet-iron. De man who am not leetle wicked has no chance to feel sorry no use for prayer no need of churches. He cannot say to fel- bowman T wronged you-I'm sorry shake
 "De man who neber sins makes a poor nex' doah neighbour. De woman who keeps feelin' of her shoulders to see 1 if wings have started makes a poor mother an wuss housewife. If you have neber injured man an gone to him an axed his pardon an made up you doan' know what real happiness am. If your conscience has neber driben you to prayer you can't feel de goodness of de Lawd. My advice to you am to be 8 leetIe wicked-not huff to make men fear or hate you, but jist huff to keep you convinced dat you must help to support churches an pay clus attenshun to what de preachers say or you'll be left behin' when de purceshun starts" THROWN OUT FOR CAUSE. The following candidates were un- favorably reported on for causes named:
 Kanawha Smith, of Maryland, charged with being caught in bear trap at the door of neighbours smoke-house. His excuse that he mistook the smoke house for 8 school house at which there was to be spelling school that night was de- cided to be too thin.
 Cemetery Hastings, of Indiana, charged with feeding his wife powdered chalk when she had the ague and making her believe it was quinine. His defense was that the chalk cured her, but the com mittee were afraid that if the action was overlooked he might next compel his wife to believe that chip on cabbage leaf was quail on toast.
 Sincerity Flats, of South Carolina, charged with assisting to put out fire in grocery. He worked so zealously that next day constable discovered twenty eight cans of peaches, box of soap, ten pails, two hams and twenty one bed-cords hidden away in MT. Flats's cabin. His defense was absence of mind, but the committee refused to consider it, holding that while an absent minded man might possibly carry home such articles as enumerated in the charge, he would hardly take up the kitchen floor to hide them.
 THE OUTLOOK.
 The Secretary announced a communi- cation from the President of the Colored Board of Trade, of Macon, Ga., asking what the Lime Kiln Club thought of the general outlook for six months ahead, and Brother Gardner carefully placed 8 paper stopper in his ink bottle and re- piled:
 "Look out fur de outlook. De man who has sot out to ride three or fo' hosses from now to nex' harvest will find hisself on foot befo' New Y'ar's. say to de cull'd folkses in dis kentry to pull up on deir fish lines an git ready fur hard times. De man who can't see high prices fur libin' ahead mus be blind. Speckulators am gwine to git nipped if dey doan't look sharp, an fancy stocks am gwine to take an awful drap at de fust cry of alarm. When de Signal Corps runs up de red flag de prudent man ties string to his hat. When de wheat, corn, oat, tater and fruit crop fall off one-half an de sun sots fah to de grass in de fields, de prudent man will put his house in order to meet de comin' pinch"