Public ledger. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1865-1893, 1881-01-22

pronunciation nfSU gwen In that vol
ume being always the one to decide.
Let our readers try this puzzle in
orthoepy:
Roland and Diana we're lovers.
Diana was ephemeral but comely,
hypochondriacal but not lugubrious,
didactic but not dishonest, nor given
to ribald or truculent grimaces. Her
pedal extremities were perhaps a triAe
too large for a playing organ pedals
successfully, but her heart was not all
adamanhne, and her address was
peremptory without being diffuse. On
the whole she might well become the
inamorata of one retired to some quiet
vicinage away from the squalor and
clangor, the dissonance and contumely,
OF great metropolis.
Roland, on the other hand, was of a
saturnine countenance, at once splen-
etic and combative in disposition, so
that his wassails and orgies were
almost maniacal in their details. He
was telegrapher by profession, having
received diploma from Caius college,
but aggrandized his stipend by dab
bling in philology, orthoepy and zool-
ogy during his leisure hours, so that he
was accused of fetichism and tergiver-
sation by his patrons.
Stillhis acumen and prescience were
such that only a misogynist would dis
Germ that he was an aspirant for the
gallows. His acetic, rather than
ascetic, nature apparently inclined
him to visit chemical laboratory, we'll
filled with apparatus, to which he had
access, whence he often returned with
globules of iodine and albumen on his
caoutchouc shoes, which subjected
him to the risk of numerous alterca-
tions with his landlady, a virago and
pythoness in one, and with the servant,
her accessory or ally.
Roland had, however, become ac-
climated to his place, received every
thing with equability, reclined upon
the divan while he contemplated the
elysium where Diana dwelt, and ad-
dressed donative distichs to her in the
subsistence of the raillery,
There was a certain diocesan who
endeayored TO dispossess Roland in
the affections Of Diana, but he was en-
ervated by bronchitis, laryngitis,
aud diphtheria, which, on their subsi-
dence, left his carotid artery in an ap-
parently lethargic condition. He had
sent Diana a ring set with onyx,
chalcedonic variety of stone, and
once hung a placard where he knew
she would see it from her easement,
but she steadily rejected his overtures,
and ogled him as if he were drome-
Diary. The diocesan betook himself
to absolutory prayers, but continued
his digressions and inquiries.
Roland became cognizant of this
amour, and armed with a withe, in
veigled him into kind of assignation
beneath jasmine, where he inveighed
against this Gay Lothario." who de-
Tended himself with falchion until
Roland disarmed him, houghing his
palfrey withal. After the joust the
prebendary abjectly apollo lied, albeit
in scarcely respirable condition, then
hastened to the pharmaceutic's aerie
for copaiba, morphine and quinine,
and was not seen again until the next
MichaelInas.
Roland returned on Thanksgiving
Day, took an inventory of his posses
sions, which consisted ofa large quau-
tity of almond cement, a package of
envelopes, dish Of anchovy sauce, a
tame falcon, a book on acoustics, a
miniature of a mirage, a treatise on
the epizootic, a stomacher lined with
saroenet, cerement Of sepulture, a
cadaver and bomb.
The next day the hymeneal rites
were performed, and Diana became
theuceforth his faithful cOadjutant
and housewife.