davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1881-12-29
We Ali Know Him.

The other day | became extremely irri
tated at n friend of mine-let us call him
Smith. He had succeeded in tangling
up three or four engagements in such
way that the foul tiend himself could not
have unraveled them. He always does,
confound him. | said nothing at the
time-a good rule when you are angry
but the next time | was Mt Smiths table
| sermonized over the coffee. Smith,
said |. "apropos of nothing, do you
know that the dwelers in this world may
be divided into two grand classes--the
Vague and the Exact ?" He nodded.
"There is an intinitade of subdivisions"
| went on, but these are the two grand
divisions. They are not affected by sex,
for those of both sexes belong to both
divisions. While it is true that most
women are Vague, yet so are many men.
Once in while you meet an Exact
woman, and if you have just come from
the society of Vague man, You feel like
falling upon her neck and bursting into
tears" | looked ut Mrs. Smith, aud
the twinkle of her eye showed that
we were en- rapport. The Vague
man," | continued, lis never sure of
anything. His impressions are always
people and go ont of it again, without
knowing who were there He is never
certain as to names, dates, places, or
what's o'clock. He spends his life in in
nocently spinning webs whcrewith to en-
tangle his neighbors' feet. In business
life he does it by generalities.
'Thingummy, says he, wants so-and-so.
and will pay such-and-such for it.
frbinrp,o,,y l,.S nj nj n and would
not pay that for it if he did, hence con
fusion" That's Brown to II dot" cried
Smith, ecstatically. I'm private life"
said |, 1.-THE Vague man shines bright
ly in the matter of verbal invitations.
He will take two or three groups of
human beings who want to dine ut each
others tables; who have so expressed a
wish; who-or one of then-has rashly
entrusted II message to the Vague man.
This gentleman Immediately throws up
entertainments of Misunderstanding.
Here, surely fortified, he begins to bonn
bard erybody with blunders. Result
"A capitulation; everything is declared
off, and every hostess wonders whether
she ought to be extremely angry at the
others, or whether she owes them an
apology" From the look Mrs. :. shot
ut her inn ocent husband, | feared she
would betray me. But the Vague MANI
she asked. "rhe Vague man." said l.
"Oh, he has drawn to one side, as it we're,
and benevolently contemplates the
ruin of which he was the cause. He is
in it, but not of it; he would holly resent
the imputation that he had wrought the
i'll. Well. well-it is not his fault. He
was born Vague; he will remain Vague;
he il 80 Vague, poor fellow, that he does
not know that he is Vague" Smith
laughed heartily "That's pretty goodN'
said he, 'do you know, Zulano, that
have mot just such fellows rs you de-
scribe?" Mrs. S. and l gazed at each
other. What she thought l cannot say.
What thought will not
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1881-12-29

A Detroit saloonist was decorating his
bar the other day with snail flags, when
a stranger who had just got outside of
four inches of whisky, leaned his elbows
on the bar and observed
Stranger. do love that flag.
do, ell ~
'Nou bet | do"
Were you in the war ?" ..
Not exactly, but my heart was there.
Where was your body ?"
"Say. that's the only thing | blame
this government for. II there hadn I
been such golden chances TO make from
$500 to $500 10y jumping the bounty, Ia
have died for the flag, and my old dad
and two brothers would have died for
her. 1t was mean trick of Uncle Sam
to shake 5000 at fellow who wanted TO
wrap that old flag around him and die on
the field / jumped the bounty four
different times. and between me and'you
| wish | hadn't. You see, / haint hardly
got the face to ask Uncle Sam to grant
me pension for broken leg received
While on the scoot for Canada, though i
may work up to it in time. Bless the
old Stars and Stripes-and gimme
leetle more Of that same brandt
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1881-12-29

The venerable DIR. Boulland, whose
death was recently reported was not only
q savant but man Of wit.
Meeting an old friend accompanied by
his son, he inquired for what profession
the youth was destined.
'For the medical profession, dpctor~
was the reply.
Take care, then answered the old
doctor, medicine often doesn't make
the doctor live any more than the pa
TENT
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1881-12-29

A connoisseur, while inspecting the
art collection of An amateur, chances
upon corot Of undoubted authenticity
as an imitation.
But say, man" he exclaims, that
Corot of yours is bogus 7
1T will pass as genuine within twenty
years from now" returns the collector,
confidently.
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1881-12-29

There is only one woman We know Of
who can let other women pass by her
without looking after them to see
whether their polonaises are shirred in
the elbow and cut bias on the watch
pocket. The woman in question is to-
bacco sign ON Pine street in Washington
City.
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1881-12-29

A prudent young man is asked by his
friend why have you taken lodgings
on the ground fioor-you who are always
preaching that there is no air fit to be
breathed to be had short of five stories
up?"
II will tell you," he replies. You
see, have taken u solemn oath that I'M
less Miss G. agrees to marry me, will
throw myself out of the window. SEQ y
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1881-06-11
MIR. Jacobs. as a Candidate.
(From the New York SUM-

VI '0iu tuS NeW OFa Dhhsl
We should be sorry to suppose
for 8 moment that the Democratic
party of this state was reduced to
such an extremity as seriously to
think of sending Mr.. Jacobs to the
Senate Of the United States. We
have no prejudice against him.
We should be glad, or, at least,
Perfectly willing, to see him elect
ed or appointed to anything he is
suitable for: but we say, frankly
and seriously, that if the Demo
cratic party has no more fit caEdi-
dates for United States senator
than Mr.. Jacobs, the sooner it goes
into liquidation and is passed into
the hands of a receiver or an as
signee, the better.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1881-06-11

The students of Oberlin College,
Girard College and the naval ca
diets at Annapolist are all prohibit
ted from using tobacco. A SINH
lar rule has been recommended
for west Point by the Board of
Visitors. At Cornell University
nearly all the students have vol
unfairly signed pladge Of absti-
nence.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1881-06-11

THE new Gar of Russia is not
getting on as swimmingly as might
be. lie is having as much trouble
with the Nihilists as did his father.
Thirty Russian army officers, in
Guiding a colonel of the Imperial
Guard, have been arrested within a
msnth past on the charge Of COM
plicity in Nihiliotic plots.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1881-06-11

THE Republican State Convention
of Ohio, met at Cleveland on We'd
nesday and rc-nominated Hon. Chas.
Foster for Governor, and Judge
Richards for Lieutenant Governor.
Senator Sherman presided, and made
ringing speech on taking the chair.
Resolutions endorsing the admins
tration were adopted with great
unanimity.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1881-06-11
State News.

The Euening CAL is the name Of a
bright, newsy little daily paper start
ed at Charleston, Kanawha county,
by Messrs. f. Swami and f. G.. Wa
non.
Governor Peirpoint has given his
bond and qualified as collector of in
ternal reuenue for the Second dis
trict Of West Virginia, and his pre-
decessor, Gen. Brown, handed the
Office over to him on Friday, 10th
instant.
The commissioners of Mason
county, have absolutely refused to
grant licenses for the sale Of intoxi-
eating liquors. The saloons are all
closed, and many thirsty souls have
to foot it weary miles to secure their
"quenchsrs."
Mr.. John f. Sisson, of Ohio coun-
ty, thinks that it pays a farmer well
to raise early mutton lambs for the
market, as he has sold sixty within
few days, at So per head. They
were March lambs, and weighed "a
bout sixty pounds each.
The insidious cut-worm is giving
farmers in several counties of the
State a deal OF trouble. Some have
had to replant whole fields, the first
growth CT the young corn having
been cut off by the worms. Others
have had to replant, az the seed corn
did not sprout, the germ life having
been frozen out during the past win
ter.
A rain storm Of unusual severity
occurred in the vicinity of Wheel
ing, about midnight on Tuesday
night, by which considerable dam
age was done. A family named
Staub, living on GlOnn's Run, was
swept away, the mother and five
children being drowned, and the IA
Their carried on log to the head OF
one of the Sister Islands, where he
was found on Wednesday in an in
sensible condition.
A duel was fought last Saturday
near the mouth OF Hewitt's creek
Boone county, between John p. JEFF
frey and James Elkins. The Wom-
an in the case was one Of bad char
acter, named Rebecca Chambers.
/ Both men fired at the same Instant,
/ and both fell. Jeffrey died instant
", pierced to the heart, and Elkins
lived until the next day.
|
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1881-06-11
Mahone's Ticket EalBs Flat

HARRIsONBURG, Va, Jnne4. =
The nominations at Richmond
yesterday have fallen fiat on this
portion of Virginia. The leading
able Republicans here say that
they will wait to see what the Re-
publican State Convention does be-
fore they commit themselves TO
the fortunes Of his ticket.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1881-06-11

Mrs. d. Morrison, Farnham
Centre, p. O., writing about DIR.
Thomas Eclectric Oil, says:
George Bell used it on his son,
and it cured him of Rheumatism
with only a few applications.
The balance of the bottle was used
by an old gentleman for Asthma
with the best results. 1t acts like
a charm" For sale by f. G. Will
liams, Jr., & Bro, druggists.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1881-06-11

The widow of the late Frank
Leslie has regaiNe1 possession of
her husbands property, having
paid the creditors fifty-five per
cent, Of their claims She will in
future conduct the business of
Frank Leslie's publishing house.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1881-06-11
SATURDAY, JUNE IL, 1881.
THE READJUSTERS.

Billy Malone had things pretty
much his own way at the Readjuster
State Convention held in Richmond
last week. The Convention was
large, having delegates present from
every county in the State. 1t was
also, in a degrees, enthusiastic and
harmonious. Col. Cameron, Demo-
crat, of Petersburg, was nominated
for Governor, and ex-senator Lewis,
Republican, for Lieutenant-Govern-
or. 1t is pronounced as strong a
ticket as the Readjusters could pos
sibly have put in the field.
Malone was the leading, ruling
spirit OF the Convention. He seem
ed to exercise absolute control over
its deliberations. 1t was really as
tonishing to note with what devo-
ton his followers rallied to his sup
port and cling to his destinies. The
political leader who had supposed
that Malone had lost his prestige.
and that an easy victory will be
achieved over him and his followers
IN Virginia in November, had better
revise his calculations. There is no
Disgusting the fact that the Read
juster leaders in Virginia mean to
make stubborn and desperate fight
for success in the present campaign.
They recognize that defeat in No
vember means the utter annihila-
tion of their party and of their own
political hopes and ambitions. They
have staked everything upon success
~ this campaign. 1t is a life and
death struggle, and Malone and his
lieutenants are not of the kind that
quail at dangers or despond at diff
culties. They have boldly announc-
ed their platform of reputation and
thrown down the gage of battle. We
have no sympathy with their doc
trines Of readjustment, but the bold
ness and determination with which
they champion a bad cause inspires
respect.
1t must not be forgotten that the
leaders Of the Readjusters in Viz
ginia are generally men OF acknowl-
edged ability and courage-men who
will spare no effort or work to &C
complish victory in the fight in
which they are engaged. They are
mostly young men of genius and
talent, who will inluse their ardor
and enthusiasm into their followers,
and make a vigorous, not to say des-
perate campaign. Still, their chances
Of success will depend largely upon
the action Of the Republican party
in that State. Unless they can form
a coalition or draw largely from the
Republican vote, in case the Repub-
licans put ticket in the field, their
hopes of success are not brilliant.
That they expect to do this is pretty
clearly outlined in the speech of Col.
Cameron, accepting the nomination
as Governor, in which he said he
lie would not only carry the war into
Africa, but would carry Africa into
the war. The danger to the Demo
cratic party is, that even with a
a straightout Republican ticket in
the field, the ReadJusters will cap
ture the bulk of the colored vote
with the bait held out in their plat
form declaring for repeal OF the
capitation tax, free ballot and d
fair count.
OF course it is too early in the
campaign to even speculate on the
probable result, and all predictions
in that direction amount to very
little. Captain Riddleberger is re
ported as saying in Washington
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1881-06-11
Hard 10 Climb Back

(From the Philadelphia Tines
Conkling having kicked himself
out of doors, finds it much harder
than he supposed it would be to
climb back through the window.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1881-06-11

THERE was a large attendance Of
Druggists from different sections Of
the State at Wheeling, last week, for
the purpose of organizing a State
Pharmaceutical Association. Mar
tinsburg was represented at the
meeting by Il. G. Williams, M. A.
Suodgrass and VIM. Teller. Mr..
Williams was elected Vice President
of the Association. The object of
the Association is to look after and
protect the interests of Druggists in
this State.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1881-06-11
Too Sweet for Anything.

Music hath power in the cit Us din,
how PASSING sweet to list,
Amid the busy mum Of men, 10 the
barrel organist;
Or when ramping with the Earache,
you have agoa" endured,
You try bottle electric Oil, and
fined that you are cured.
For sale by u. c. Williams, Jr.. 4 Bro,
druggists.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1881-06-11

The sword worn by Colonel G.
Frederick Taylor, a brother of Ba-
yard Taylor, when he fell at the
battle Of Gettysburg, was present
ed by his parents on Decoration
Day to the Fred Taylor Post, No.
10, Grand Army of the Republic,
at Kennel Square, Pa,
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1881-06-11
A Familiar Story.
From the New York Tribuns)

(From the New York Tribuns.)
Conkling's fighting for vindi-
cation recalls the familiar story of
the man who borrowed" So of
another, but had to knock him
down several times as prelimi-
nary inducement to lend it.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1881-06-11
ADVERTISING RATES.
THIS PAPER

May be found on file at Gro. P RowELb
Il Co.'S NEWSPAPER ADVERTISING BUREAU
(le Spruce st. where advertising con-
tracts may be made for it in New York.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1881-06-11
Time for Some More Pray
ing.

[From the New York Worldl
Surely the time has about come
for Parson Lock wood, of Albany,
to do some more praying, or some
thing.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1881-06-11

Emmigrants continue to pour in
10 this country at the rate Of two
thousand daily. We could thus
build city of a hundred thous-
and every fifty days. They are
nearly all ticketed through from
Europe to the West
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1881-06-11

THE law establishing State
Board Of Health went int effect on
Wednesday. The following named
gentlemen have been appointed, and
will constitute the board:
First Congressional District-Dr.
j. E. Reeves, Ohio county, six years,
and DR.. George b. Moflitt, Wood
county, two years.
Second Congressional District
DR.. George II. Carpenter, Hamp
shire county, two years, and DR.. G..
I. Richardson, Jefferson county,
four years.
Third Congressional District
Senator A. r. Barbee, Mason coun-
ty, six years, and Hon. Isaiah Bee,
Mercer county, four years.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1881-06-11

since the Convention, that the Re-
adjuster ticket is a strong one and
that "there is no question as to its
triumphant election" On the other
hand Congressman Jorgerson, of the
straightout Republican element, de-
clares his belief that the Cameron
Lewis ticket will not receive the
support OF more than $4,000 of the
white votes Of the State; that "Ma-
hone will be mashed finer than pow
der before Virginia gets through
with him, and the ceremony will be
performed promptly this fall"
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1881-01-29

LIE GLOBE, a Paris journal, In its issue Of
80 Nov. last, discusses some recent events in
Hawaiian affairs, based, avowedly, on in
formation obtained from Mr.. Moreno.
Among other matters, s.an undue interfer-
ence with the domestic affairs Of this coun-
try is alleged against the Acting Commits
sioner of France-that he had threatened
the enforcement of his views with ten
vessels of war (dir Vaisseduz de guerre), and
that in consequence of his interference,
France had lost the opportunity Of educa-
ting two Hawaiian youths, who had been
sent to the military and naval schools of
Germany. The Roman-Neapolitan journal
La Std6ettd, in its issue Of 18th Dec, last,
copies the article of lie Globe, and, in it's
editorial comments, is led by the same in
spiration to condemn certain action CIdr
prOHunciamenti) of Consul Schaefer, as
hostile to italian interests. Now, inasmuch
as Consul Sehaefer was absent from the
Capital for three weeks on Hawaii, during
all of the period referred to, the state
ment of his interference is q mere inventions;
and as regards the Acting French Commits
.siOner, we feel that these publications
abroad, based upon information furnished
by Hawaiian agent, offer a proper occasion
to the party misrepresented, to claim dipIo-
matte privilege and protection.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1881-01-29
State Reception at Aliiolaui Hale.

Her Royal Highness, the Princess Regent, pur-
suan: to public announcement, held a levee in the
Legislative Hall, on Wednesday, the 26th instant.
A chair of State. upon which was spread the
ancient royal feather cloak Of Hawaiian Kings,
was placed on the dais at the throne end of the
Hall. Two superb royal standards Of silk were
displayed on the dais, and four Hulumanus (the
ancient halberdiers, or standard bearers of Ha-
waiian Kings,) held aloft four stately Kshills, or
feather plumes of state, over the Throne. By
command the following gentlemen were in attend
ance previous to the opening of the levee -
His Majesty's Ministers, their Excellencies, the
Premier, Green, Minister Carter of the Interior,
aud Minister Walker of Finance. Also his Hon.
or G. G. Harris, the Chancellor Of the Kingdom,
and their Honors Judd and McCully, the first and
second Associate Justices also the Honorable
Mobiles, G.. r. Bishop, A. s. Cleghorn, Godfrey
Rhodes, P. Kanoa, s. K. Kaai, j. NJ. Kapena,
John E. Bush, and j. Moanauli /; also the Honor
able Privy Councillors, E. o. Hall, W. J. Smith,
Wm. C.. Parke. Walter NJ. Gibson, VIZ Buckle,
w. Pinehasa Wood, H. A. Wideman2. j. U.
Kawainui, and D. Leleo Kinimaka.
At IL A. NJ. Her Royal Highness the Princess
Regent, accompanied by Her Royal Highness the
EIiuces5 Llkellke, Her EllRnne6s tue Cnleie60
Ruth Keelikolani. Her Highness Kekaulike, and
the Honorable Mrs. Pauahi B. Bishop, escorted
by His Excellency j. o.. Dominis, Premier Green,
the Chancellor, and Ministers Carter and Walker,
entered the Hall, the Band outside, playing dur
ing the entry the Kamehameha Hymn. The fol-
lowing ladies, occupying positions Of honor near
the dais, had previously assembled:-MB.
Chancellor Harris, Mrs. II. A. P. Carter, Miss
Aggie Mcintyre, Mrs. A. F. Judd, Mrs. L.
McCully, Mrs. j. NJ. Kapena. Mrs. Col. W. T.
Allen, Mrs. c.. Il. Judd, Mrs.C. 7. GuIick, Miss
5. L. Sheldon, and Mrs. C. B. Wilson.
Her Royal Highness the Princess Regent, hav-
ing taken position by the Throne. with her sister,
the Princess Likelike, to the right, and Her
Highness r. Keelikolani to the left, shortly after
wards received His Excellency Gen. Comfy, Min
lister Resident of the United States, and Mrs.
Comfy, Hon. James Fl. Wodehouse, II. B. M.
Commissioner, and Mrs. Wodehouse, and Mon !
sieur Ratard, Acting Commissioner of the
Republic of France who were presented by the
Premier in the order mentioned. The Band
played at the seversl entries, the Star Spangled
Banner, God Save the Queen, and La Marseil-
laise.
Succeeding the Diplomatic Corps, the Consular
Corps entered, and were presented by the Premier
in the following order DIR. z. o. Hoffman,
Consul of Austria-Hungary; H. W. Schmidt,
Acting for the German Empire; r. w. Laine,
Consul of Spain; John Patty, of the Netherlands;
Jason Perry, of Portugal; j. F. Haekfeld, Acting
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1881-01-29
PASsESGE

From Port Townsend. per Camden. June 24-J Il
Zeither.
From San Francisco, per ZeAlandiA. Jan 2e-Miss Judd.
Miss Dickson. J Reynolds and wife. Mrs Hebron, Miss
Thompson. Rev J b Haskell and wife, q n Barker. , L
Norton, Z DOWie and wife, A g Coffin, b Hynlenson. ) u
snow. J T PeunypAcker. II II BlAkeston,J p SpitE, n
MakAy, Z " Donnen. D W futile. J D Moore. Mrs Morse
r y Fowler, NJ ID McGeechAn, Frank SAloy. J II Holek,
J. Davis, d Gabriel, Mrs Patted, q " Pierce. W Z CAllG-
han, W Rating. A Mayer. W y Leland, J D Ramsey, Coe-
sen g Hall, + Hayes. II eaten, ChAs Casper, Mtss II Dick
son and 6 Cinnamon.
For San Francisco, per W II Meyer, Jan al Gilman
For Australia and Auckland. per ZeAlAndis. Jan 2e-F
Sinclair and wife w LishmAn, II Knudsen, wife and 5
children, Miss Gay, Sir Arthur Stephney, A GAmlich,
COhn Chisholm, Miss RhOdG Bray, A Friedlander, 8 3
Landeshut.
From Bindwsrd Ports. per Likelike, Jan as 9 VIII.
der and wife, w J Irwin, Miss n Richardson, MRS. II
Bonner, N MAkAluA, Mr. Nichols, VIM Cornwell and i've
others. and co deck.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1881-01-29

The bk KAlakAua, Capt Jerks, sails to-day, If the Wild
lulls sufficiently to allow her TO be tOwed out.
The bgtne Discovery, Is alongside the Esplanade, near.
ly loaded: she Will sail about the 9Th February.
The bk Camden will sail about the 31st. in baIr-st, for
Port Gamble.
The bgtne Sheet Anchor leaves about the 18th prox, in
ballast. for the Sound.
The blk Lizzie Marshall sails for the Sound. in ballast
On OF about the 31st inst
Captain Shepherd. piloed the r S s Zealandia into
the harbor. rather quietly. on the morning Of the 2Gth
inst. but many " early birds were on the wharf, to
greet the arrival Of the Eastern mails.
The Hawaiian bark KAle had arrived in London from
Manila. and after discharging, would load for this port.
70 leave sometime this month,
The German bark Ceder was to leave Bremen about
the middle Of this month, with 100 to 200 German
lAborer1 ON board, emigrating 10 these isIands.