Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1881-01-06
THE INDIAN VEGETABLE PILLS.

gentleman's servant in Virginia, and dalkey
of most undOubted honesty and truth but he
would sometimes tell tough stories. He met
'kurnel Johnsing's nigg,' as he called him. on
one occasion, and after cussing and discuss
ing various matters appertaining to their mas
ters fell into the following conversation
Sam-Well Cuff, how you was?
Cuff-Oh, isn't no wuss.
Sam-How is all de folks down at de house
Cutf-Oh, dey is able to be round, 'cept de
ole mans darter She had de doctor the 9TH
er day. He came in, looked at her, kept look
in at her said she was bilyus, and give her a
box of engine vegetable pills. When de doctor
go she up and threw de pills out de winder.
She wouldn't take no pills, no suh Wal de
ole turkey cock kun, an'-greedy kus-he
gobbled down de pills, box an all, wild de
whole directions in four diffrent languages.
Next day we had company, an had to kill
table billed wild lister sass. MaSsa flourish his
knife, and try to cut him up could not git de
knife into him.
Cuff says he, how long did yer bile dis
turkey ?''
"Bile him an hour, sah."
''Take him away and bile him another hour. -
So took him away an billed him another
hour. ...
Sam-Did de company wait
Cuff-Oh, yas de company waited. Wal,
/ brought de turkey in, and massa flourish his
big knife ag'in an try to cut him but he
couldn't do it, no sab!
Take him away an bile him another hour.''
$50 take him down in de kitchen ag'in.' -
Sam-Did de company wait
Cutt-Of course dey waited. 1 brought in
de turkey ag'ln an massa try to cut. But it
was no go; maSsa git mad.
'sIake him aWaV an bile him n a-eeE -
So took him away an bile him week.
Sam-Dd de company ,cdt?
Cuff-Oh, yas, de company waited-bound
to see de fun out, yer know. Wal, in week
| brought in dat turkey. Massa thought he
got him dis time, sure; but he couldn't cut a
hole in him; 4" ole cock wouldn't be cut
MasSa send fOr'ue doctor to hab d turkey ex-
amined De doctor came, LOOK at de turkey
look all over him. Says he,
'1t'sno use you can't bile dis turkey, for
he has taken box of desc engine-vegetable
pills, an dare asnt any bile IN him."
A CALIFORNIA TR1AL.-A fellow named
Donks was lately tried at Yuba city, for ell
terlng miners tent and seizing bag of gold
dust valued at eighty-fOur dollars. The testi-
mony showed that he had once been employed
there, and knew exactly where the owner
kept his dust; that On the night of October
18th he cut slit in the tent, reached in. took
the bag and run off.
Jim Butler, the principal witness, testified
that he saw the hole cut, saw the man reach
in, and heard him run away.
Il put for him at once" continued the
witness, ''but when I cotched lin didn't
find Bills bag but it was found afterwards
where he had throwed it,
Counsel for the prisoner. far did he
get in when he took the dust 90
Buller.-"Well, he was stoopin' over-about
half way in, should say
Counsel.-"May it please your honor, the in
dlctment isn't sustained, and | shall demand
an acquittal by the court. The prisoner is
OH trial for entering dwelling in the night
time with intent to steal The testimony is
clear, that he made an opening, through which
he protruded himself about half way, and
stretching out his arms committed the theft
But the Indictment charges that he actually
entered the tent or dwelling. Now your hon
or, can man enter the house when only one
half of his bOdyis in, and the other half out ?''
Judge.-'I shall leave the whole matter to
the jury. They must judge of the law and the
fact as proved'
The jury brought in verdict of ''guilty,' -
rs to one half of his body from the waist up :;
mot guilty, as to the other half.
The judge sentenced the guilty half to two
years Imprisonment, leaving it to the prison.
ers option to have the not guilty half cut off,
or take it along with him. A judgment, we
think, worthy of Solomon.
Too SMART For THEM.-There is nice
little game much in vogue among the young
folks in this vicinity known as the "Hutchin-
son family The game consists in beguiling
some unSuspecting person into room into
which the whole ''family'' is Stationed-the
members of which initiate in word and action
everything done by the victim, and the amount
OF amusement that can be extracted from a
nervous young man of bashful proclivitieS can
easily lie imagined. AT a social gathering
held in this village short time ago, a young
newspaper man was introduced into the room,
and the Hutchinson family began it's imi-
tations to the intense delight of everybody
present-eXcept the victim. 1t didn't take
the young man great while to appreciate the
situation, and then he calmly walked to the
centre of the room and stood OH his head.
The Hutchinson family' at that moment was
composed of two youngladies and gentleman,
and it is needless to remark that the young la
dies Immediately lost all interest in subsequent
proceedings.-Independent RepsJlian.
a ASAFEANIMAL-AG Galveston young man,
WHO Is hoI very ollSnI, puC likes TO alIecI the
sporting character, recently bought horse,
and he thinks he's the handsomest horse in
the United States. The young man was
showing the animal to man who really knows
something about horses, pointing out all the
animals good points. When he got through
praising the beast, the other spoke up and
said:
''All you say about the animal is so. but
you have omitted two of his very best points"
What are they?"
"Well, in the first place, nobody will ever
steal that animal from you; and, secondly, if
ANYBODY should steal him, YOU would have no