The Hickman courier. [volume] (Hickman, Ky.) 1859-current, 1881-04-01
WIT AND HUMOR.
q sife strAhsit1AA An ambulance wagon.
a T1GHTfiteDe Delirium tremens.a

Sic stTansltAAn ambulance wagon.
a ATIGHrlfit2De Delirium tremensa
EvER9n n1an's house is his CASTLE but
every man cant be King of sAshantee.
One is a seal ring and the other is
real- sing.i Eth ? Sure enough. What
was the conundrum?
A YOUNG man described taidermist
to bevy of Young girls as one who sort
o. upholsters animals $ ~ He took the
cake.
THE difference between the Feniar
leader and an advance agent is that one
is Head Center, while the other is sent
ahead.
NEVER address your conversation to
person engaged in footing up column
Of figures There's nothing so deaf as
an adder. tssf eM sT
An Ilishman who was found guilty of
stealing a lot of coffee was asked by the
magistrate what he did with it.. Made
tay with it, was the Hibernian's reply.
YoUNG lady, examining some bridal
veils-" Can you really recommend this
one q Over jealous shopman-" Oh,
yes, miss 1t may be used several
times" sss aF-oiH4
"TM afraid the bed is not long enough,
for You, said the landlord to a seven
foot guest. Never mind, he replied
I'm add two more feet to it when l
get In" -lt-
.fwI11 you name the bones of the
head ?" said teacher TO one cf his
class "Tve got 'em all in my head,
teacher" replied the pupil, "but l can't
give 'em away"
'sI1-r. take your arm, Miss ida, please,
Good faith I've need TO cling D."
ssisaol faith, indeed ;, said ale. but, then,
Impsrt Won that /" Responded be,
With lips that ne'er denied her,
g Good faith Is bona hde, girl,
And this is bone Of Ida"
We are constantly told that "the
evening wore on but what the even
ing wore on such occasions we are not
informed. Was it the close of sum
mer's day? 81 SIC au,rr
WHY is a thief your only true phi
losopher? Because. he regards every
thing from an abstract point of view, is
opposed to all notions of protection,
and is open to conviction.
TINS is a little coeducational scene:
Professor =" Who will see Mr.. B. before
next Monday? 2" Lady student, hesitat-
ing ind blushing little more :" shall
see him Sunday night, probably"
The Philadelphia Net0s man is per-
son of experience He says: "a Boston
man has invented new word-'Astron-
ometeorology' 1t means what man
sees when he suddenly runs against a
lamp-post." st.e
A YOUNG man in the ANSWERS to
Correspondents column in a New York
paper asks: How can L gain a copious
command of language ?" We would
suggest that he try sitting down on a
tack.-LOuiSUille COuTier-JougndI
Courtesy opens many DOORS" says
the old adage '' This may be true, as
far as it goes, says a commentator; ''bllt
You might stand before a bank-building
and courtesy till you spinal column was
as timber as an old postage e-stamp, yet
the doors wouldn't swing back ON their
hinges worth cent,
A CLERGYMAN, being annoyed by some
of his audience going out while he was
preaching, took for his text, "Thou art
weighed, and found wanting" Soon
after. commencing his discourse, he said,
g You will please pass out as fast as you
are weighed. F"
He was 20 and she was 18, and they
were on their wedding-tOur. He pointed
ont to her the beautiful scenery, and
said eve may have many anniver-
saries- of this season. g Yes," she
answered, "you will probably live long
enough to have a tin wedding.