The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1881-11-03
s'English Spoken Here"

11u6ASu 0pVAO4 AACIOe
Paris Letter by ''Nasby" in Toledo Blade.
Tibbitts tried to worry one of these Par.
isian statesmen, and for once succeeded
He stopped the party promenading with
him on the Boulevard des Italiens at a
jewelers.. who displayed in his window the
legend, English spoken" The "English
spoken" in the shops is good enough, as a
rule, to explain the nature and quality ol
the goods, and that is all. Further, the
English speaking salesman has. no more
idea of English than he has Of Ashantee.
Tibbitts marched in boldly, and the Eng
lish-spesking man appeared. He was a
well-p1eserved, bald-headed man Of SO,
and at him Tibbitts went.
'Do you speak English2"
"Oui-yees, monsieur"
Tibbitts grasped his hand enthusiastic
ally.
Its refreshing to meet one in strange
land who can speak ones own language
'Yees, monsieur"
Chicago and Northwestern railroad cutting
rates the same as the other roads, and do
they cut for western-bound passengers the
same as for eastern. and do you have the
remotest idea that the cutting will be kept
!
the Pullman sleeping car company cut the
same as the railroad Companies"
"Eh, mensieur2 Zeese watches"
"You don't quite understand me. You
see the Pullman sleeping car company is
quite distinct from the railroad companies,
and one may cut rates without the other.
See? Now, what want to know is"
The bewildered Frenchman, who spoke
English, stared in wild sort of way, but
his politeness did not desert him.
"Ees eet ze watch, 70 diamond, 70"
Not yet. What want to know is, who
is this Lapham and Miller who have been
elected to fill the vacancies occassioned by
the resignation of Platt and Conkling, and
is Miller going to be tail ito Lapham's kite,
or are they both square, bang-up men,
and
Twill monsieur look at ze goods?'
NO, no. Is the Chicago and Northwest
ern in this row?"
By this time the Frenchman was out of
patience.
Monsieur talks-wat you call 'im-gib-
berish. / ave not ze time to waste. Eef it
ees Ze watch"
Sir" replies Tibbitts severely, when
you announce English spoken you should
speak English, or at least understand it.
Good morning, or, as you don't understand
the planest English, bong -swoir.
He had succeeded this time, and should
have rested on his laurels. But Tibbittses
alas, always overdo what they undertake.
He had extracted SO much amusement from
his first experiment that he tried it over
again the next day.
He entered similar place and COM
menced the same thing,
What want to know is. ia the Chicago
and Northwestern in the railroad war, and
do you suppose the cutting of rates will
continue till September, when I return,
and"
Indeed, I cannot tell you, sir. 1t is
something do not kt ep the run Of. You
had better apply at the American exchange
or the Herald Office"
This is the best and clearest American
English. Poor Tibbitts had fallen upon a
bright American, who was turning his
knowledge of French to good account by
serving as salesman in Paris. MIR. Tib-
bits smiled a CHASTITY smile as he bowed
himself out of the place. Bad marksmen,
who by chance hit a bulls eye, sheuld be
ve=y modest and refuse to shoot again.
Even Napolean,. great as he was, fought one
battle too nany,