The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1881-08-06
THE ooLoNEL's STORY.

"You all knew Sandy McPhsrsonF p
said our Colonel.
Intimately" ~"PerIectlyw "As vel
AS my own brother, sirI" most Of us re
piled, though, II the truth be told, there
was not a man at that meSs.table who haC
ever heard Of Mr.. Mcpherson. You Gs'
1t wAS the commanding officer who spoke
and 1t was always risky saying him nay
when he expected yea,
"They used to call him, you reColleCt
the Great UnwAshed,' a vulgar but Appro,
pirate sobriquet, nevertheless" continued
the chief. "GrsAt on account Of his hurley
and precious ugly person; uuwasbed, BY
reason OF his accredited scAnt acquaint
Rnce with brown Windsor, spring water
and the functions Of the dhirzsss END
dhobies, i. e., tSilors and wRshmen OF the
land.
"0n his coffee estate in the mountains,
and among his undraped aud unGcrubbed
coolies, this disregard for the comforts and
Co~nvenienCes Of life went for nothing,
perhaps II wal sven 10 keeping with the
surroundings; but when be came down
10 this city, walked Ia its public garden
and ~esplanAde, or showed with lie swella
at the band, his appearance was some.
thing too outrageous, and his brother K.
o. BIS, meaning Knights OF the Coffee
Berry, and not as you might suppose, Of
the Order OF the Bath, dressy men here.
abouts, whatever else they might be on
their plantations, cast him completely
into the shade by their get up aud gorge.
ousnPsB.
"As for the spinsters and young widows
Of the station, by Mars, BACChus, Apollo,
ylrornm,' as Colonel Dumas puts It, there
was scarcely one but fought shy Of admit.
ting him to their presence as q morning
visitor, much lets as q suitoT, though
many OF these blooming ladies were on
the lookout for the silken chains OF matri.
lnony, and Barkis-that 10 to say, Nc.
Pherson-was, ~ they knew, willing.
"But disadvantages Of person aud attire
notwithstanding, he was O right good tel-
low, this same gentleman. He was honest,
hardworking, thrifty, supplemented; and
from being q mere adventurer without
interest, friends or money, be had, sell.
helped only, saved up the bawbees little
by little, and bought patch alter patch,
acre BY scte, q virgin land; cut down its
timber, cleared It, planted II; and now be
has tquatled down free from encum-
ORANGES ON Ailsa OraLR, 10 he calls bis
property, 40 pretty and 40 fruitful 0 email
co fee estate az could be found 10 one oil
the most picturesque distrlca Of this love-
|ly island.
~ wish | could give you only q faint
idea OF the exquisite beauty oil lie scenery,
ss It stood on q range Of lofty blls looking
out on still higher mountains, clothed 10
their very bummits. with hoary forest
trees. ! wish l could paint that mighty
waterfall, almost beside the house, rs II
came rushing and tearing over beds and
Loulders OF rock, tunbling with an inces
sant roar into q ioAming river below. !
would | we're able to picture the slnpes
green with scented erase, the 6elds white
at one season with the snowy blossoms,
aud another red with the ripening fruit Of
tie coffee bushes, the towering crags glow.
ing With bright tropical flower, and the
steep d~eclivitiss, veldant ~ the very bases
with fernu and liChens. | can't DO II,
BOYS, and | won't Try. All | want Ia 10 Lex
YOU know that 1t Gs q deuced nice place,
this habitat OF the Mcpherson and that to
be settled there with ones household
gods, and coffee selling At 70 or so shillings
per hundred weight In the market, would
pay q precious deal better than does her
most gracious mAjtsLy-God bless heti-
and The command Of this dear old corps
with lie unruly subs.
"So no doubt, too, thought lie owner a.
he lolled and smoked at bis cottrge front
and gAzed ct The silver bloom or rudy
cherries OF the trees growing almost up 10
the very door. But II was 0 poor ungar.
piAhed, comiottless, higRle- plRgledy sort
OF q homestead, that same dwelling house
for whatever else:iriend Sindy had done
toward the Identifying aud fertil EinR o.
bic land, his rooitTee, like bis wardrobe
had been utterly neglected Both wanted
Just exactly what he thought they did :
The vile element 10 eel them ship shape
and presentable; and as you have heard
before, for that desiderAtum he was on The
qui yive.
"Now you young gentlemen who are ID
the habit Of lawn ~tennisit 4. afternoon
teasing, talking, ~spooninR, walking, div
ing, with all the feminiDes, plain aud col
ored OF this place, and who think that yet
have only TO ask and be ttcsived-whicL
I beg aud entfeat you will not pnt up Ii
The lest, cutting up the tness, and so on
can't perhaps realize 10 themselves the
difhcnlties the worthy 1 am speaking o
had met with Ia even thfB ovefstockeC
matrimonial emporium. The Apgleiroils
The Hunter, the hookets, lots Of GIRL
whom I will not name, had snubbed o.
tuthtd DIP their pretty noses at him whel
be cane q wooibg; and nolens volens, h
remained q bachelor, matchmaking hi
III lick, and venting his disappointment
upon the backs OF the sinking and reCu
SAINT Tamil ~corlies, lbe recognized nAluta
enemies Of &C fee and The sCapegoat Of Ii
cultivatots. ....
"Theh "A a last fesoufce be sough
among his brethren Of the berry around
counsel hs TO the most Advisable methol
Of getting the 81 needed helpmAle; ant
the frat tnAA he cohBnlted WAS Hett Tha
let, 4 eucCeaAiul and rich Hefman, who's
estate bordefed on Ailsa Craig
$50, sol" said that petsonSge. "zsfe |
nothing more easy. 1--we ca zL fsgget
beard, buth In 81 ere Epee old clothes no
for Oundaditch or any Juden sttasse, bn,
one big top mine friend, get ltaulains AMI
Ividdef1 lfGus vid 80 monish.b Ags Ia .
'dhdS, II Hsy will not ave Coy, Sey WI
tAtS "a fubee; frost 'en tof cat, my Ajh.
"But the recommendation was unpAli
table Ahdto a eteat extent impfActlcablC
10 smother Hdps AOhAtes Wes appealed q
on6 jack lee este 4 mau much addictO,
to chs q and pfActictl joking.
,I'Ih this hnd6 81 peatla and preciou
stones, no 20, deer boy said Mt. IL 9
lFfom Dondia Head 70 Point Calame'e7
north, south, east, West-the women won
look atyou shat you have found out Ion
TGt6 9iVeNp hdntthg them, 10 thee OF
LIfod colonial fields, and dfAW the hom
Govern. Don't you happen 10 know an