Democratic Northwest. [volume] (Napoleon, Ohio) 1869-1894, 1881-06-16
Renaana suIIs

There Is no reason why an elderly No-
man shouldn't be well preserved. The
young ones have 50 much sugar in their
composition, you know.
You can't dig up human skull any
where but that some one can remember
how a peddler mysteriously disappeared
about thirteen years ago.
Fish are so plentiful and 50 big in
Michigan this year that man can say
he caught hundred pounds Of black
bass without being liar.
The Enquirer says the revision Of the
Bible is regretted in Republican circles.
1t curtails their profane vocabulary Just
at time when they need it the most.
Our modern cities can never suffer the
fate OF Gomorrah, for while tina ill-fated
city had but one Lot we have thousand
good lots always in the market.
A Methodist preacher, accused of lar
ceny, has been acquitted, and the princi-
pal witness humbly apologies. 1t is 50
easy to make charges against preacher.
England is having a share of our dry
weather. There is nothing mean about
the country when it has more weather
than it needs for immediate use.
Milwaukee does not exhibit all its GU
riosities; but it possesses one man so tall
that he makes the champion lima bean
feel badly to look despairinly up at him.
Strawberries are in the market to de.
plete the pockets of the average enterpris.
ing young man who has a girl. For
girl never was known to refuse straw.
berries and cream.
A Boston journal says that old bottles
are cleaned with birdshot and then re.
filled with wine. This probably accounts
for the fact that few Boston people buy
wine and and get shot.
An old bachlor who died recently left
will dividing hisi property equally be-
tween the surviving women who had re-
fused him. Because said he, to them /
owe all my earthly happiness
A Connecticut man announces that he
can play on seventeen different musical
instruments. He is compelled to make
the announcement himself because none
of the neighbors are now living.
A farmer in Kossuth county, Iowa, has
sheep with two mouths, the second one
being under the right ear, and it opens
and shuts with the other. He will en-.
deavor to teach the sheep how to talk and
send it to the legislature. .
The probable length of bumble.bee's
stinger is a question that worries the
minds of Gallon folks. That's singu.
lar class of people. It's not the mind the
stinger usually worries.
An exchange thinks that the mad dog
which jumed over a six foot fence to
bite a mans leg must have felt terribly 4,
mortified and disgusted when he found
it was wooden. sR
Whenever you, see "a woman talking
straight at a man, and 'begfnnfng to nod
her head and keep time to it with her
upraised index finger, it is about time for
somebody to climb tree.
At twenty man is sure that he knows
everything; at thirty he has grave doubts;
at forty he knows that there are some
things he don't know; at fifty he is GER
tain that he will never again know as
much as he once knew.
Five thousand men in different parts of
the world are at work on flying machines.
Several centuries ago about the same
were doing the same thing, and
then, as now, all were on the eve of tri-
umph.
A Boston paper in an article on trees
says that the white birch should not be
neglected. We do not remember the
exact color of the beautiful and delicate
branches, but we do know that birches OF
some kind or other were very popular
among schoolmasters several years ago;
and we hope that if they are to berevived
it will be done gently.