Lewiston teller. [volume] (Lewiston, North Idaho) 1878-1900, 1881-11-17
THE EDITORS RETURN.

out into the country Oh "uS''Sso, ie"'
ing his paper in the hands of an as
sistant, who had been in his employ
some little time. Now the colonel
knew that said assistant had the cheek
of a brass statue and the audacity Of
New England fly, both indispensable
attributes of newspaper man; but
still after being absent about week,
he began to grow uneasy, and ,ele-
graphed home
Allows things 7"
Back came the answer from the
whilom editor: "Bully Circulation
Of the cid thing is gone up thousand.
Been getting out redhot paper, and
there's gang out side that are weep
ing because tLey can't hoist the shin
cles off the roof and knock the whole
concern to thunder Stay away as
long as you like"
The co'onel did not waste a moment
after receiving this encouraging dis
patch. He started home at once, and
reached Chodunk before night. The
first man that struck him was the
ttage agent
"Look here, colonel = he cried ex-
citedly, 1--WE darned good notion TO
punch your head, you brazen-faced old
liar"
"Whv 2 asked Bagshot.
"Read that r and the agent showed
a crumpled Uaion into his hand. There
was paragraph as follows:
STAGE News. The bandy-legged idiot
who robs the stage company at this town
has purchased a new pocket knife. More
knocking down from the cash-drawer.
Bagshot bit his lip and said, Bill,
that's calumny, and I'll see it correct
in our next. It's my cussed assistants
work"
II don't care whose work it is"
growled the agent, "hut if it amt con
tradicted, somebody's got to die; that
ALL"
Bagshot did not reply, but sailed
down the street to the Union Office
He had not gone far before be collided
with Deacon Marsh, who seized him
by the shoulder and exclaimed !:
"What do you mean, Baeshot, by in
serting that scandalous untrue para
graph about me r
did mt insert anything" replied the
colonel.
"Don't sneak out Of it that way.
You know you did, Why, l just cut
il out Of the paper. Listen:
RELIGIous INrELLIGENon. That whitea
kepulchre, Deacon Marsh, was noticed last
Saturday night irving to open the coal hole
IN trent OF his residence with his latch-key
The Deacon was as full as goat, and
cculdnttell moonshine from green cheese.
sNow that's nice, saying | was in,
toxicated Saturday night, when went
to bed ut seven o'clock With a raging
toothachel'
"It's that reckless fool whom left
in charge" groaned the colonel. "I',l
make It all right March" and Bagsho.
hurried on again, only to be confronted
BY Major Blim.
"Bagshot! T uttered .Blim, in his
deepest voice, this is villainous, 1t
is my intention, sir, to call you out and
demand satisfaction. What the deuce
do you mean by publishing this in the
Onion:
Murray JorTrNes-- Major Blim, the
battered old begger, who hid in an oy ster
barrel during the battle of Bull Run. wears
= wig he ought to be shot in the back
with baked apple
Ican't help it, Major" replied Bag
shot, wiping his forehead, "It's all ow-
ing to that young devil in the office.
He has made red-hos paper. Jus,
wait and I'll fix things"
Bagshot had hardly reached the
Fost-ofico when old Parker grabbed
and wailad, "Oh, You unfeeling ghout
you ought to be rode on rail- The
idea Of making fun of my poor dead
child r
ssHowf'
ssHowl Have you the cheek to ask
how I" Maybe You didn't shove this
- the paper did you, you heartles, old
nypocritei SEE;
OBITUARY.
Little Bennie Parker
Had stomaehe pain
Rhubaxb and epicae
Both were IN vain;
tie kicked the golden bucket,
His fathers heart is sore,
Hs5ss ~ sA.1ysr hin, ts,-sn 6rrow