Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1881-06-30
Aamarnas Repattameut,
DISPOSING OF OLD STOCK.

DlSfVS1NU VE S1VCAs
A pedlar of tinware who had been travelling
from plantation to plantation, in one of the
Southern States, with his cargo Of motions"
found but limited sale for his lanterns, an
article of which he had large stock. In
despair of getting rid of them at what he
called very reduced price, he found pur-
chasers as scarce as clover in the sand hills
At length tavern.keeper directed him to a
farmer who he said, was very much in want
of the article. To the house of this ready
customer went Jonathan, determined to get
his troubles worth out of him. The first
person he met was the overseer, who was
lounging by the side of the road.
"You don't want to buy good lantern, do
your" asked Johnathan.
"Yes, though, I reckon do," returned
the overseer; "how much do you ask for one =
"Only thirty-seven and a half cents"
"Wall," 'spose you give me one."
The pedlar gave him lantern, and re-
ceiving his money, proceeded onwards.
"You don't want to buy irst-rate lantern,
do you ?" said he to the overseer's wife, who
was washing clothes at the spring.
"Yes," was the reply. "Mr. B has
been wanting one for long while"
Jonathan accordingly served her out one
at the same price he had bargained with her
husband for. At the barn, before he reached
the farm house, he met with the son of the
planter.
"You don't want to buy noaanterns, do you?"
81 don't want one myself" replied the
young man, "but I'll take one for father, who
has been after one this long time"
Jonathan accordingly pocketed thirty.seven
and half cents more, and became one Ian
tern lighter. He now advanced boldly up to
the house, and meeting with the old lady st
the door, Immediately put the question to her
you don't want> to buy no 6rst-rate Ian
terms do your
Indeed, but do" said the>old lady "my
husband has been wanting one\ these six
months past, and I'm glad you've come"
Jonathan accordingly deposited q lantern
with her, and received another thifty-seven
and half cents. He now departed, almost
satisfied with the spec he had pade. At
some distance from the house, in "a field by
the side of the road, he espied ths/ old gentle.
man himself, and hailed him With the old
question
"You don't want to buy/no trst-rate Ian
terms, do your" -
"How much dosod ask apiece ?" enquired
the planter.
Fifty cents replied the tin pedlar, "and l
guess that's cheap enough, considerin' they've
come all the way from Connecticut"
"Well, I'll take one," said the old gentle
man, putting his hand into his pocket.
Ill lo1c
asked Jonathan, there's no knowing when
tin merchant may pass this way again. II
you'll take half dozen, I'll let you have
them at thirty.seven and half cents apiece.
The planter took him at his word, and the
pedlar took his route, after having disposed Of
ten lanterns
THE DEACON AND THE FRESHMAN.
Under this head we find the following anu.
sing story going the rounds:
A few months ago, as Deacon Ingalls,, OF
Swampscott, Rhode Island, was travelling
through the western part of the State of New
York, he fell in with an Irishman, who had
lately arrived in this country, and was in quest
of brother who came before him and settled
in some of the diggings in that vicinity.
Pat was strong, athletic man, a true Cath
olic, and had never seen the interior of q
Protestant church. 1t was pleasant Sun.
day morning that brother Ingalls, met Pat,
who inquired the road to the nearest church.
ingalls, was good and pious man. He
told Pat he was going to church himself, and
invited his new made acquaintance to keep
him company thither (his place of destination
being small Methodist meeting house near
bY) There was great revival there at the
time, and one of the Deacons, (who, by the
way, was very small in stature,) invited broth
er Ingalls, to take seat in his pew. He &C.
cepted the invitation and walked in, followed
by Pat, who looked in vain to find the altar,
&c. After he was seated, he turned to broth
er Ingalls,, and in a whisper which could be
heard all round, inquired:
"Sure, an isn't this hiritick church,"
Hush" said Ingalls,, eff you speak loud
word, they will put you out"
"Divil a word will spake, at all, at all, "
replied Pat.
The meeting was opened with prayer by
the pastor. Pat was eyeirg him very closely,
when an old gentleman, who was standing in
the pew directly in front of Pat, shouted,
"Glory"
"Hist, ye clear divil," rejoined Pat, with
his loud whisper, which was plainly heard by
the minister, "be dacent, and don't make a
blackguard of yourself"
The parson grew more and more fervent in
his devotion. Presently the Deacon uttered
en- audible groan.
"Hist-s.t, ye blackguard have you no da.
cency, at all, at ALL said Pat, at the same
moment giving the Deacon punch in the
ribs which caused him nearly to lose his equi-
librium. The minister stopped, and extend
ing his hand in supplicating manner, said
Brethren, we cannot be disturbed in this
way. Will some one put that man out ?"
"Yis, your rivirence," shouted Pat, II will, "
and suiting the action to the word, he collared
the Deacon, and to the utter horror and as.
tonishment of the pastor, brother Ingalls, and
the whole congregation, he dragged him
through the aisle, and with a tremendous
kick he landed him in the vestibule of the
church.
Aa~ A pious lady in Virginia was in the
habit of having family worship every even