The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1881-11-24
Energy on Tap.

@ seq that a Frenchman has got a
patent for canned energy" observed
Mrs. Spoopendyke, as she picked up
lot of cut-steel beads on needle and
began sewing them on medallions for
dress trimming.
SCOT what?" interrupted Mr..
Spoopendyke, who was backing his
boots.
"Yes. He says he can put strength
up in bundles and send it anywhere, SO
they can run ships and things without
steam. He sent ever SO much over to
Scotland
"What circus bill have you been
reading now?' queried Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke, glaring at his wife.
'sIt's so,'' she replied. 81 saw it in
the Eagle. He does it up like preserves
and it lasts ever SO long, and it's just as
fresh and strong when they open it as it
was at first"
"Who pats it up? Who're you talk
ing aboutp"
IA Frenchman. He gets lot of
strength and fixes it with electricity, and
you can buy it anywhere. I'm going to
get some and take it. It'll be just as
good as going to the country, and may
be it'll help my headaches. suppose
the Government will buy a lot of it for
| tramps.''
"You gone crazy againp'' demanded
Mr.. Spoopendyke. "What dye mean
| by putting strength in boxes? Think
energy is some kind of dod-gasted fish?
S'pose you can put main strength up in
bottles like a measly shrimp? If you're
going to read, why don't you read
straightp''
"Why, did. He has some kind of
a machine and ne makes energy so it
will last; and then he soldiers it up in
tins or something, so you can keep it in
the house. I'm going to have some to do
the washing"
d-gasted idiotP" blurted Mr. Spoopen-
dyke. 'sCan it make measly Spoopen-
dyke woman talk sense?n
1.-THE paper didn't say; but if it is all
| they claim for il il will be great help
in house-cleaning and moving the step
ladder around when you want to hang
| pictures. And then it saves boiling beef
tea. Oh, you ought to read about it.
They say its the greatest invention of
the age"
"D'ye mean to tell me that they're
selling muscle by the keg? Want me to
understand that some frog-eater is keep
ing industry on draught? Think Pm an
assph
.sThat's what the Eagle says" re-
| joined Mrs. Spoopendike, with woman's
implicit reliance on anything in print.
s'And they can make it in any quantity
cheap, so we can have all we want. |
wish you'd get some right off, and we'll
try it on the Fridays sweepings."
"Quit!" howled Mr.. Spoopenkyke.
"Stop making an idiot asylum of your
self! S'pose yos can make me b lieve
that house-cleaning comes in jugs?
Think I'm going 10 b'lieve that weeks
wash comes in box, like measly sills?
P'raps you want me to think that your
dod -gasted stuff will pay the rent and
run my business! Next time you strike
a corn-salve you read it Understandings
ly, ye hearp Energy by the pint!
Strength by the yard! Got that rip
sowed up in my pants?"
Yes, DEAR" murmured Mrs. Spoop-
endyke, meekly; and Mr.. Spoopendykc,
having arrayed himself, plunged out of
the house and made for the ferryboat.
. Hello, Spoopendyke saluted his
friend Speckewottlc, ''see this thing in
the paper about the Frenchman who is
boxing up energy?'
"Yes, certainly" replied Mr.. Spoop.
endyke, and I've been all the morning
trying to explain it to my wife, but these
women can't understand such things.
How's stocks p''- Rrooklan Eaql6.