The Dillon tribune. [volume] (Dillon, Mont.) 1881-1941, 1881-05-14
On Ghe Side.
\ black >"hject---tl,e coal question.

~ ~ GEsOss
\ black >ahject-tl,e coal question.
What burns to keep secret?-sealing
Wux
Electric belles--fenale telegraph opera
tors.
The spot for husbands with scoIdine
w'ves-Shr:ws bury.
Even dumb amin ais exhibit attachment
the horse is always attached to the vehicle
which, he draws.
An old farmer on being informed tina,
one OF his ncighbors owed him grudge,
growcd out: NO matter, he never paws
anything"
Empty is the Cradle, Baby's Cone" il
the title Of the latest serio-idi song. II
will probably hc followed By "E,np,y is the
Bottle. Para'> Full"
Mrs. Carr, OF Quebec, hanged herself
with her false hair last week. The coro.
ncr's verdict was that the Carr wa. denol.
ishcd by u misplaced switch.
Money ds~< everything tor man. saie,
an old gentleman. r,,npously. Yes re.
piled the other IN III, but money won't tt,
rs ''.w', tor a man as men will do for
money
Put upon my tombstone" said the dy.
ing man, epitaph stating that WIS II
>co,'''drel, thief, and brute. Then people
will think was q good ,,,an Epita,,hs al.
ways lie so.''
Il believe the jury have b.en inoc ulat.ti
Tor stupidity" said II testy lawyer. THAT
may BE- replied kis oppo,eu,, "but the bar
and the court are Of the opinion that vou
had it in the natural wav."
".\rc YOU gooI ridcr:' asked Il livery
man. Il am" replied the customer, and
Just then the horse >norted. stood on its
hands, came down and buckcti. And the
customer went on. from his high scat IN
the M,,mow: See how easily get eff"
y fashion item says: ~ poonaise for
<'';. ncr Is cut squire" Everyone to his
tast,, ct course: but We want no polonaisx
tor dinner, no matter how 1t is cut. We'd
Just rs li>t' cat Il princess oyrr,kirt on
toast
y ra''rs,a engine r, saving that the us
'"l lite OF locomotive was onl : thirty
YEARS. passenger remarked, that such a
big tough looking thing ought to live long.
tr than that Well responded the cnyi.
ncer perhaps il woull IL ii didn't smoke SO
mtc!,.'
som bod, quotes w hen Il man ,,eyins
i'g" down hill lie finds everything CREASED
FIR tn occasion. says philosopher, and he
might have added that when lie tries to
climb up he finds everything creased for
tbs occasion. too.
TO what degree" asks an inqui,iny
friend of Mr.. B.ccl,er. "mav Il person Ut
the present day l,c ignorcnt without bcin.
guilty." "rhat depends ON the person."
replies ll>nry Ward ".o,ne people ar.
born with genius tor ignorance"
Ma said Il Thoughtful hoy. i don't think
Solomon WAS so rich as they say he WAS.
Why, my dear. what could have put that
into .vour head'' why, the Bible SAYS that
he slept with his fathers and think if he
had f~cn so very rich he would have had II
bid ot hi. own
Can give my SON IL college education
Il, l,ome:' asks II fond parent. Well, YOU
may I've able to ;,ci, him rs much of Greek
and Latin and mathematics as the college
could; but you never can so tn roughly
Undue him With the idea tina, everybody
els. /, Il blamed fool.
Wives ought really tn b. more careful
Why do YOU start whenever ! come in
I" Tho room: asked II bru-q,,c man Of his
lw!tcr half 1T i>onlv my nerves, my poor
nerves. she replied, which are SO very
weak, ;h:.t am startled ny ,v>r. stu, ii
thing scc.'
\ Su,;d'y shk,' t.'ac,rr said tn lil:!>'
Johnny: You must never env. those little
children w!M, are ri,i, and wear fine
clothes. i don't not the first dog. soneti
lit My don't you envy them. Johnny 2
because they have t" wear clean c'o,hcs.
and t;.ev cant Wade about in the mud.
and they !"e to say please to v>r.hol,
~':o'rc.::'
Gil!,o;.!.' hired Il pen, the other s.;., to
take u little cN"rci>. Oh. lie got all the cx.
crci.c needed AMI rs he l,np,d t, thu edge
ci' the si,icw ak 10 rest himself kind friend
asked him: What did you come down SCI
quick tM:' What did com. down 81
quick for: Did You Sc anything ~ in
,i,,: air :;r nc t., ho!i ON :o:'
Thu Associated Pass is Il great lns,,,, j.
il ma:' said :, C;.i.,ayo man to ii le,utif.l
New I.Mk yirl full OF sentiment and oy>.
itr>, As the, we've returning from in, :i'c;,
tire. 1T i. inlecd.' >h. 'cl lied. in SOFT
TINS: Ter e and had one all last win
Ter. hu. papa come in "ns night bct;'rs
{: ore coil; take his arm ,Wav and ;ct,y