Osage Valley banner. (Tuscumbia, Miller County, Mo.) 1879-1881, 1881-09-15
tired. My constitution is fragile aud diff
fieult tc, rnx, v,.ah hoe2 ~

tired. My constitution is fragile aud diff
ticult 10 comprehend -
"Shucksr' interrupted my imper-
tincnt cousin, ''its pure laziness
What ever you'll do when--Sallie, let
me advise you never 20 get married.
Your fragile constitution would be
bound 10 get fractured IL you had TO
spend your days as the rest of us do
picking up hats, coats and boot jacks
for q living, not TO mention hanting
nails, strings and hammers, at all hours
Of the day, turning the grindstone by
'way Of recreation, reading 6i,f dry mar
ket reports at night, till you couldn't
see, Gewing on buttons. darning
socks"
Enoughr' / cried, "tell me no
more horrorsr'
JU'g I5th. More advice! Iran over
to Mrs. DrYdox's to get a night-cap
pattern. She was cleaning house. had
all the chairs stacked up outside the
door, and she looked as IL her last
friend was buried under them, as she
sat on the step clasping the busting
brush with visible detection. Said !;
What tower is fallen, what star is
sct3 What chief comes there"
Flying me with dismal scorn. she in
teTupted--
"Ain't nothin' fallen, as | know Of,
nor set neither-only the old dominiken
him"
why then this pathetic attitude,
this"
SalIie," said she, "don't never get
married."
"That's SC" sang out Mrs. Filter,
who came hopping up on the porch
with her sunbonnet over one shoulder,
like frisky grasshopper with stif
pink wing, TO return Mrs. Drydox's S
wash-board, they're worser than tar
rapins. men are. They"
"You don't begin to know EN-,
Sallie," said Mrs. Drydox with greatly
ipcreased detection "they'll call you
honey and everything nice now. but
once you marry 'em--hit's a solemn
fact. they won't eat cold greens for
dinner of a cleaning dayr'
"You don't tell me their depravity
goes TINT farH' Igasped, dropping into a
bunch of hurdock
"Oh, that amt fotaing." said Mrs.
Filter, "why they won't so much as
churn II they take notion to plow or
anything"
"Acshilly now" Mrs. Drydox con-
tinued her grievances, "Robbut fursed
to- day cause l never cooked no dinner,
hit bein' cleanin' day, he did So never
aggravated him a bit. | sayed. gentle
like, says /, you can have some cold
greens, Robbut, an what you reckon
he sayed?n
"What-O what?" cried, thrilled
with horror.
"He saved, Git outr
"What most periidious Ro5butr'
Law sakesr' said Mrs. Filter,
"why Sam, he went to town to-day an
forgot TO git sody, when | told him par
ticlar. an then lowed the corn pone
wasn't good. An he rared like old
pirate t'other day cause l swapped of
his coat to the ragman for chiny mar
tyr at a stake
"Well, / made handsome black
berry pie Sunday, an Robbut lowed
hit was sour enough to make pig
squeal.
"Well, Sam"
"Well, Robbut-h
"Dear me, l must co. said ]. "or
I'll die of Sam and Robbuth
saw the Deacon slowly approaching
my cottage lie looked sad, poor fell
lowl Remorse touched me, notwith-
standing the fact that he belonged to
the class who would not eat cold greens
of cleaning day. II owe him some
reparation, - said to myself, "if only
for the names / have called him.
cannot take eUery body's advice. So, /
think, I'll take the Deacon."-Demo-
rests Magazine.