davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1881-04-15
HarLeye shots.

NJ. Babcock has written a tract en-
titled "Why don't q oil kill the devil?'
lie would, II the devil used sucl
grammar ~ that.
The Tower Of Babel-ihat was ~,
place where the Grccnback party gol
the good sense and intellectual clear
ness for is speeches.
The leader Of a Chicago orchestra
Tell down stairs and smashed his Cd.
die. lie wasn't much hurt himself,
although he fell 90 yiolintly.
Young Bookby spoke very prellily
at a party the other evening Of Byron's
mayor Of Athens. aud be didn't see
what there was in il 10 laugh ri,
either.
lugersoll say; Treat woman like
a splendid flower" Well, ,aen gener
ally do, Colonel. That is, they find
it much easier to beg them than raise
them.
Full many a flower is born To
blush unseen. We don't believe
that, not a bit Of 1t. II nobody sees
il, what can it possibly have to blush
fori Why should it blush when
there's nobody looking
There Is place for everything,
fellow.citizens, but there isn't place
for every man. Remember that,
before you start for Washington. III
there is place for every Ohio man
its Just about a. much as there IL.
"Who was first into the breachl
asked Professor Slearnes, when the
class in history was up. "rhe patch,
said the new smart boy. But the
Professor marked him one minus and
said ono; the hole was in before the
patch.
A woman returning from market
got into a South Hill street-car the
other day with basket full Of dressed
poultry. TO her the driver, speaking
said; "Farel' No. said
the woman, Fowl Aud every.
body cackled.
Very innocent old man, old man
is. A friend found him at
his desk the other day absorbed in
study. II am writing my
WILL" the old man said, "and lsant
TO fix il somehow so that the lawyers
can get some of the property
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1881-04-15

There are Gi,573 Baptist ia Pesylnn
yania and ia ij in New York.
DR.. Glenn, the largest wheat grower
in California, pronources the wheat profit
40 small that he must seek diversity Of cul-
ture for hi- a, coo acres.
jesse A. Orear has compiled from The
Apa.ioiic Times, Christian S,miani and
Christian, 81. Louis, the pumber Of addi-
iions to the Christian Church reported ia
said papers for three months, ending April
lsl dimensions, s,2Gli from other church
es. 35S total, S,Gl9-lMi. Sterling Senti-
mel.
Hon. james W. lindon, Judge Of the
Breathiit County Court, Is in Richmond
this week, attending the Circuit Court
Upon being asked how things we've ia
Breathitt, he replied that George O. Barnei
and Judge Riddle had "knocked the warI
out Of the fellows and that all l. remark
ably quiet Richmond Register.
The next General Conference Of th'
NJ. T.. Church South, which meets il
Nashville in May, 1882, will, besides
successor to the late Bishop DoggetL prob
ably elect three other Bishops. 1hos
more prominently named for the position
are Rev. Dr. John G. Cranberry, Prolesso
Of Vanderbilt University, and for som
years pastor Of Centenary Church, Rich
mond, Va; Rev. Dr.. Ariious q. Hagoo
Of Macon, Ga, editor Of the Wcse'H Nth
disi, and President Of Emory College, Rev
DR.. A. W. Wilson, Of the baltimore Con
terence, bat who is nov Missionary Secrs
laiy Of he Methodist Church South.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1881-04-15
Do" ~"a M. Linve anermoon DrIIv

Don aud MS LiffIe arernoon DaHu
Last week Dan. T.. O'Sullivan,
State News Editor Of the Courier.
journal, was travelling on the l.. and
N. road and met Prof Richard A.
Proctor, the celebrated English a..
tronomer, to whom he was introduced
by Dr. Woods, Of the Glasgow Times,
who mentioned the name OF Mr..
OSullivan's paper at the same time.
After the usual salutations Professor
Proctor asked. "What is the name Of
your paper2' The Courier. Jour
nal, sic. replied Dan. "Ah, aud
where is il publishedi" was the Pro
lessons next inquiry. ut is n little
paper published in a village called
Louisville, at the Falls OF the Ohio,
said Daniel without a blush, and the
astronomers next question was; as
IL a morning or afternoon paper ?"
Afternoon, sir; published every day,
Sundays included, was the parting
answer Of the gentle Daniel, who
stood the fie like a veteran. II Sun.
day Argus.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1881-04-15
THE rOUAc nIDop

She b. m0ilrIi. hui unl lashiul.
if0f and easy, hui bot iuli
lile an appis, rir. and mol'oe,
Not ion yofnf inl nai Co., OF
nall inviting. bali n1rulal,e.
Nov ai,snelnf, ani nov shf
There b. misahlef in Boz iimrle.
There b. daufff in hcf eYf
she hls sludiea human naiuIt
she 4 shaalai boz an hcf art
shs has taken hff diploma
A. the mistress ~ lll heafia'
sh Gao ieil me very momeni
When to sigh and vhen ~ smile
on. q mald ls someiimes ehafmiHs
uatauiios 40 the shiie
Az 700 al Hos ,0fI sfilaus
VIII boz hanisania fao leaoa.e
Az you ansfyf she d vrcichei,
ioasly. irisuils't fsafiui iumh
Arr you minhiui Hos hor laurhiff
siivof.umiing, viii fiaf OUT
500 san lafa and laieh ana play fau.
A. che smaller doe the tout
heo li hil hsioiI ol efty.
Who have grown sn bald and ala,.
Young Amefilaufoi tsauy,
withihc io,eialt 10 yoiir syss.
Naa nay prlsilge az tho i'ssaut
Iaashi Wy turii sIuf' the 1iii.
nui laos q litile iiow
Who could yin AMI COOL you all
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1881-04-15

ITO sum "a up six long years Of bed.
ridden sickness, costing $500 per sear,
total, ~ zoo an Of this espense was
stopped by three hoilhs of Hop hitiers,
taken ~ my wife ~, has done her owu
homework 6ra yeal SINCE, without the
loss Of q day. and ! uani everybody 10
know ID, Tor their bsneii. 20 \. n. Farmer,
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1881-04-15

A variety actress, has been selected
by Forepaugh as the Queen Of
Beauty, who is to sit for the admira-
ton Of his circus patrons this season,
for the snug little sum Of $4,000.
She is thus described; "ln complexion
she is semi.brunette. Her lips are
suggestive of a cherry, teeth regular
and pearly, and visible at every smile
through large but not disproportion-
ate mouth; large, expressive brown
eyes, a symmetrical nose and an in
telligent cast Of countenanoe. This is
her picture in repose. In converse
tion--and she is possessed Of fund OF
sparkling talk-every feature is ami
mated, and her flashing eyes and
health-iinted checks, coupled with a
vivacious manner, lend an additional
charm TO her demeanor. She is OF
about average height and medium liz
ure, and boasts a dainty little foot.
Her hair is worn in frizzes, commene.
ed at the top Of the head and falling
in graceful waves low on the forehead.
The Queen OF Beauty is native OF
the Ninth ward, New York city,
where she was born about twenty.one
years ago. She has been on the stage
some four years. The selection was
made from more than three thousand
portraits, and after interviews between
Mr.. Forepaugh and several Of the
candidates. Miss Montague will ap'
pear daily as l.alla Rookh in the
grand street pageant, which is to be
one OF the features Of Forepaugh's
show"
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1881-04-15

81 am wiling to risk my renuta-
ton as pnblic man, wrote Edward
Hine to the Liverpool Mercury, "if
the worst case OF smallpox cannot be
cured in three days, simply by the
use OF cream OF tartar. One ounce
Of cream of tartar dissolved in a pint
of water drank at intervals when
cold is certain, never-failing remedy.
1t has cured thousands, never leaves
a mark, never causes blindness, and
avoids tedious lingering
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1881-04-15

TnE Cosr or CoSGREss. Few
persons have any idea Of the cost
of legislation. II matters not whether
Congress is in session or on a vaea-
ton, the expenses are nearly the same.
The sum of $1,000, 600 is required to
pay the salaries of the members of the
House and their mileage. In addi-
ton to this, the last House voted it.
self 1925 for each member for news
papers and postage stamps, making an
additional S37, 725. The Clerk dis
bursed on account Of salaries TO sta
iionary employees 1921 ,449 last year,
exclusive of s25, 900 which the
Treasury Department paid direct to
the stenographers. During a recess
the persons who received compensa-
ton are only about 100 less than at
other times. The cost for the Senate
is about 5000, 900 year, nearly $780,
600 going for salaries aud mileage,
and the remainder being divided
among the employees. Contrary to
the general opinion, an extra session
of Congress costs but very little money,
because nearly all the employees are
paid whether Congress sits or not.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1881-04-15
nrnnmrnflnn Don.

Once a man had a dog which didn't
have no tail, the dog didn't, cos il
was cut oh wen il was little, but
Frankly. that's the baby, he is little
too, yes indeed, like puppies. 80 the
mans dog erode up without no tail for
to waggle, but one night some nauty
boys, they got a peece Of old rope out
Of ship yard, and some pitch. and
fastened the rope onto the end OF the
dogs back with the pitch like il erode
there. Then that dog was prowd Ike
be was a new dog on old tail, an he
went smelling around a mung the
other dogs. trying TO waggle il till
he most broke his back. But he
eudent lit il off the ground, and after
q while it was drug across cigar
which a fellow had threw away, and
il got lite. the tail did, and il had
smoke its own itself. Then the dog
il lied down like i was going to sleep,
and il said to the other dogs "rhere
wasent never any pup wich cud be so
cool and callum like me vile his tail
was a house alire. ct TO be hired
out To teech fortitude TO Cristion mar
tiers. just wake me up wen its oil
burt of, cos have got important
engagement
But when il was Of Of, aud the fire
was got hold OF the cake Of pitch on.
to the end Of his back, he dident have
to be woke up, cos he woke the hwole
town up hisself.-[Little johnny.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1881-04-15

Man has chained the lightning; har-
messed steam, and cabled the ocean;
but the woman who stands with arms
a-kimboo and head up, and remarks
that she FAINT afeard Of nary man
that ever tread the earth, still awaits
the conquering hero.-[Dr. Woods.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1881-04-15

A young city fellow bought farm
last Winter. lie had fine orchard
Of about two hundred apple trees, and
short time ago he tapped every one
OF them for cider. - Hennebee Jour
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1881-04-15

A man built a house worth So,
900 at Andover, Mass, without spend
ing a dollar. lie bought all The
material on six months credit, and
at the end Of that time refused to pay.
All the stuff was fast in the house,
which he had sold 10 his wife. The
labor was obtained on the same plan,
and even the widow who boarded the
workmen was swindled. The man
lives placidly in his fine residence,
but is not greatly loved by his neigh
bors.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1881-04-15

Thirty small boys we're arrested in
Dallas, Texas, for giving a negro
minstrel show without license, the
complainant being the owner Of an old
building which they had used without
permission. They Were tried before
the Mayor, who said If fluid the
prisoners guilty and fine them 81 each.
The alternative is one day in jail. "
The CONSERVATION among the offend
ers was very great. "But," his Honor
added, 81 was boy once myself, aud
went on the end in just such per-
formance. will pay the fines myself.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1881-04-15

We invite The public attention large and well selected stock 81
PIANOS and ORGANS, aud unequalei facilities a hnnishnE
best class Of Instruments Ion We purchase Tor net cash Ia
larger quantities than any other house this city The expense u
PIANO and ORGAN Department is lar les than hons
doing exclusively Piano and Organ trade We have reached owe
prices than have been rendered dealers ia this market aud guarantee
all represented We sell MONTH, quarterly
ments any taken trial proving represented
returned expense With leraons
ng to purchase, aud take pleasure answering all inqura
John cHuROH A co.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1881-04-15

A CHANCE roR PoErs. 1t is said
no rhymes exist in the English Ian
guage for the words silver, orange,
month. kiln, bilge, and gull, yet in
the face of this well-known impress.
sion, the ingenious, clever and patient
puzzle editor of the Truth adyerIises
he will give ~ p. to the one who
best rhymes the greatest number Of
the stated words. lie calls il Ego
as you please rhyming match in
which no conditions are laid down,
save that the best rhyme will win.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1881-04-15

Mary Anderson was born July rs,
1859, in Sacramento, Cal, but she
left California at an early age, making
this city her home. Her father,
Charles Anderson, a gentleman of
talent and culture, lost his lite in the
Confederate army. Edwin Booths
acting created in her Il wish to 60 ON
the stage, aud she devoted herself to
diligent study. From morning till
night the one idea filled her mind.
She used various kinds of exercise for
the purpose of Strengthening her
body. She walked several miles n
day, and praelieed with the dumb
bells, the broadsword, etc. Her first
appearance in public was in Macau-
ley's Theatre, Louisville, November
p, lS75,when she appeared as Julici.
led,
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1881-04-15

A railroad engineer saying that the
usual life OF a locomotive was only
thirty Yeas, an old lady remarked
that such ioughlooking thing ought
To live longer than that. "Woll.'
responded the engineer perhaps il
would il il dldn smoke 10 much.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1881-04-15

II is just as impossible for woman
that believes in all the old signs hand
ed down from the fathers and mothers
to pass by q pin on the sidewalk when
the point is turned toward her as il is
for duck 10 drown in a pond Of
water. II she should pass il by she
would attribute all her bad luck for
the next six months 10 that particular
incident. and would never expect TO
prosper in the world as she would
otherwise have done. 80 strong is
woman faith.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1881-04-15

"a blizzard" is the Northwestern
name for a gale of wind filled with
snow and icy particles as fne as rice
powder, with a temperature 10 to 20
degrees below zero. A genuine bliz.
GARD j. 10 fence that you can neither
face it nor distinguish objects ten feet
away from you. In Dakota and
Minnesota during the prevalence ofa
blil1ard farmers only venture out Of
their houses With girile ropes around
their bodies 10 enable them 10 find
their way back.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1881-04-15

"Ah. how well do ! remember il
was in the bleak November when |
caught that cold that vas wearing me
surely aud swiftly aNa,i but ! heard
OF Dr. Bulls Cough syrup, took Il,
and am az well AZ ever.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1881-04-15

There are now under cultivation
around Charleston, 5. c., within con-
venient distance of railroad depots
aud wharves, about 250 acres Of straw
berries, which will, with a favorable
season, furnish for Shipment to New
York alone about 100000 quarts of
berries. The crop is well advanced,
and the season promises 10 be early,
and consequently profitable.
They put a lot of ignoramuses into
a jury box nova. days aud then at
tempt to tickle a man 5 vanity by tell
ing him that he is 10 he tried by a
Jury of his peers. No wonder so
many criminals commit suicide, rather
than have such stigma east upon
their family name Rochester Demo
crat.
A clergyman named lIoyle was 50
indiscreet as to register his name at a
hotel in Omaha. Within haitian hour
no fewer than fourteen persons seni
their cards to his room to ascertain il
a flush royal could beat four aces.
A correspondent at Casky writes
the ComierJomnai for an explanation
OF Gen. Mahone's statement that Ken
lucky repudiated $1,000, 900 of hei
debt. The explanation is verv sim
pie Lord Angus lied.-lC.-J.
A man gets into trouble by marry
ing two wives. II he marries onl,
one. he may have trouble; and SOM
men have come 10 sure tribulation by
simply promising to marry ono
Trouble anyhow.
An ancient sage once said: 9TH
goodness Of gold is tried by fire, thl
goodness OF women by gold, and thl
goodness Of men by women.
The most afflicted part Of the hous
Is the window. Il is always full q
panos, and who has not seen NOR
Than one window hlindy
'fNiXt women aud wine, mans Ia
Is Ia smart. the wine makes his hea
ache. and women his heart - lOl
: Rhyme.
II isa Wise man Who knows Nhlc
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1881-04-15

Twixt women aud wine, mans lot
is 10 smart; the wine makes his head
ache. and women his heart. - Old
Rhyme
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1881-04-15

sass.s. Ts.A.i.srsa ARE. Of Charge.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1881-04-15

IL Is Wise man Who knows whicl
eide his tread is oleomaIgarinei on.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1881-04-15

An ancient sage once said: "Ihe
goodness Of gold is tried by Ere, the
goodness Of women by gold, and the
goodness Of men by women"
St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1881-06-18

The CATERPILLAR.-The Advocate
contains note from DR.. r. II. Day,
stating that the genuine caterpillar has
appeared on the Guy Samuel's planta-
ton, situated in the upper part of the
parish. If instead of the grass worm it
turn out to be the worm destroyer, then
the cotton planters might as we'll chang
up the fiddle and the bow" and go to
planting corn, potatoes, peas, raise poul-
try, hogs, sheep stock, and in fact do
that, which to a great extent, they
should have been doing for theirs
and the States good for very many
years past. We don't know but what
the coming of the cotton destroyer, at
this time, would prove a blessing in
disguise. We can't see much prosperi-
ty in the policy Of stalking everything
on cotton crop at eight cents pound,
with which the producer buys his pro-
visions from the prosperous Western
farmer.-[ CapitOlian.
St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1881-06-18

The New York Herald very justly
commends the conduct of small boy
who, being set to watch his baby sister,
and compelled to leave her, fastened her
frock to the floor by stout tacks, and
went off justified of his conscience. ut
stands to reason" says the Herald, that
after being thus cared for, the baby was
unable to clutch kerosene lamp as a
plaything, to creep into an oven, or to
drum upon the windOw-glass with a
poker. More still, the infant did not
move at all. When the mother returned
she may have quoted from 'Casabianca,'
The boy ? oh, where was he7' but as
for the baby, there she was
This case is not exactly similar to one
that happened many years ago in this
town. A lady left her infant daughter
in charge of the servant, while she
went out in town somewhere. The
servant wanted to go also, after her
mistress departed, and the disposition
she made of the child was curious and
original. When the lady returned the
servant and child were absent; the
servant returned without the child, and
had forgotten what she had done with
it There was commotion in that house
hold. Finally the child was heard to
cry, but the exact spot the cry came
from could not be found. 1t occurred
to the servant then where she had put
the child she had put 1t in the well
bucket and let it down in the we'll.
That child, now a grown woman, still
lives.
St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1881-06-18

Our Solons of the late Convention aud
the Legislature have virtually nullified
the main provision of the old Magma
Charta which we have been assured by
all lawyers and political reviewers was
extorted from King John by the grim
though illiterate Knights at Runny-
mede, our ancestors, some five or six
hundred years ago.
This is the guarantee to all freemen
of the Anglo Saxon race OF the right to
the writ of habeas corpus.
The learned Counsellor B. r. Forman
has developed this flaw in our constitu
ton, in the formation of which he bore
q conspicuous agency.
1t is painful development, SO far as
his client Benson is concerned, who has
been committed to an indefinite impris
onment by Judge Lazarus for the non
payment of alimony under an interlo-
cutory order. We say indefinite, for the
ten days nom finally for contempt are
eloneated 10y the supplemental penalty
that he be recommitted at the end OF
the ten DAYS until he does pay.
| All of which Mr.. Forman AYERS is as
oppressive and tyrannical as anything
| ever done by King John or any other
Norman tyrant in the dark ages. In
der this conviction he applied to the
Supreme Court in an eloquent and
| pathetic petition for the great and
glorious writ of liberty, the habeas
corpus. TO his horror and amaZement
the Supreme Court announces its ina
bility to discover throughout that vast
and voluminous instrument which
| friends assisted to construct the con-
| stltution-any ground of jurisdiction to
that tribunal over such case.
Hence Mr.. Forman wings his fight to
the Court of Appeals, that remarkable
tribunal of two Judges, and demands
his writ. The two able Judges of this
| tribunal divide on this question, and
the provision in the event of such
division, that the Judgment below shall
stand, becomes of no effect, seeing that
there is no lower court which has had
jurisdiction or given decision in the
case.
Thus Mr.. Foreman has drawn, to use
a sporting phrase, Il split, or stand-otf,
and gets nothing by his motion, and
habeas corpus in Louisiana is regularly
suspended, and Mr.. Forman and his
client are as completely dead-locked as
Senator Malone and his Republican
allies were in the late Senatorial con-
test.-[New Orleans States.