The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1881-08-17
How We Advertise.

Can | see the patriot of this printin'
millP" inquired man with forty
mule power voice, recently. at the
Eagle counting room.
We're all in that line; what you'd
you likep" replied one of the clerks.
''I'm an orator." said the stranger.
I'm doin' a big Fourth Of July bust.
ness this year. and want to make
contract to advertise your paper"
81 reckon not replied the clerk.
1--WE don't care for that sort Of thing"
''Do you up in six speeches for sixty
dollars. Ring you in three times just
before applause in each speech for sew
enty-iive, or have you followed by pro-
longed enthusiasm for hundred and
fifty. I've got two clothing stores and
barber shop, and il can get YOU and
a patent medicine, rm big winner on
the day. Make il hundred for pro-
longed applause and I'll throw in an
uproarious laughter. Gomez
II don't see how you're going 10 do
it." suggested the mystifed clerk.
Easy as grease! | would say. And
now, fellow citizens. the very tree that
George Washington Skinned in escap-
ing from the carnage OF Fort Greene
throws shadow on the celebrated
clothing house of Blobbs, Dobbs
Brothers e. Co., while the peaceful
razor of Simon Stern flashes where
flashed the brutal bayonets of the hire
ling Hessian. and the gore OF that
frightful field has blended its colors in
the ready made suits for cash of Single
e. Sing, wholesale and retail. while
Pops Stomach Bitters assuage the grief
of mourning generation, and the
Brooklyn Eagle sings the proud squawk
Of freedom for the millions who--and
there Tm going to ring in some sewing
machine company. or first class hotel,
il can get the order"
Couldn't you say more about the
Eagle for the money! asked the clerk
with an eye single TO business.
''How much do You expect demand
cd the orator, Indignantly.
''You might get in tho subscription
price and the advertising rates, with
brief description of the editorial policy
and our facilities for getting news, be-
sides schedule of our prices for job
work, and the advantages medium. I'll
furnish you with list Of stockholders
and the names of the employees, and
you might examine the files for any
thing else you'd like to throw in"
Couldn't do it for that money" re-
sponded the orator, making hurried
calculation on the margin Of the Fourth
Edition; at least. | couldn't promise
it on prolonged applause, or uproari-
Gus laughter, or even laughter, or even
enthusiasm. might run it through
the speech, or could give part of it in
one speech aud part in another"
Don't think we can trade, then"
said the clerk, with disappointed air.
"Yod wouldn't care to have it slipped
in with a burst Of eloqueuce on Dust Il
Sliver's coal and wood yardp I'll tell
you what I'll do. Come, now. I'll
put it in with couple of seaside re-
sorts and fish stand, for hundred"
Wont do" said the clerk, positive
ly. 1T must 60 in all alone and must
have applause after the advertising
rates aud widest enthusiasm after the
job office"
Then it's off," sighed tho orator.
IL cant make those terms with the
committees, 10 you know anything
about this restaurant belowp Think
could get EN- for a ten or twentyp"
II reckon, II you take IL out in trade. v
"Good enough" cried the orator
Frightening up. That's better than n,
speech Much obliged, old man! So long
Verify are we nation Of advertisers. :,
BROOKLYN Eaqle.