The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1881-06-17
Jones and the Baby.

ut seems to me-" said Jones to his wife,
! who was walking around the room, with the
baby in her arms, "that woman make great
deal of unnecessary fuss about puttinga child
to sleep. Now, | would chuck him into bed,
and let him Squall it out"
at seems to me" said Mrs. Jones, quietly
! "that all men are born idiots"
Jones couldn't for the life of him, see what
the fact had to do with putting the baby to
sleep, but he wisely held his peace.
The next evening, Mrs. Jones came into
the sitting room, where jones was reading
| the market reports, and said
81 am going down to mothers after that re.
cipe for yeast. Baby is asleep, but, if he
| should awake, presume you could put him
to sleep again-men are so handy with
babies"
"All right I'll put him to sleep in less
than no time; run along, my dear" said
Jones, checrfully.
Mrs Jones vanished, and Jones resumed
his paper
Soon after his wifc's departure, Jones heard
a little premonitory grunt from the vicinity
of the bed room.
"IIullo what's that ?" exclaimed Jones' as
he assumed n listening attitude.
He soon found out, for the Juvenile mem
Der of Jones family set up series of yells
hOHlI lEtNt NOHC tItull W DTIlllu
donna.
Jones dropped his paper, rushed into the
bed room, seized his offspring and carried him
wrong end up back into the sitting room.
The suddenness of the attack, and the UNI
usual position, SO astonished his babyship
that he forgot to scream for few seconds,
but when Jones righted him up, and offered
him pair of sleeve buttons for playthings,
Johnny shut his eyes, opened his mouth, and
began again with renewed vigor and deter
mination.
Jones abandoned the sleeve buttons, and
tried to "cuddc" the baby up after the ma
ternal fashion, but baby sternly refused to
"cuddle," and with degree of energy for
which Jones was wholly unprepared, and
which evinced total lack of respect for the
"author of his being" Johnny grabbed the
paternal whiskers with both hands and
howled louder than ever
Jones released himself, smoothed his cher
ished whiskers, deposited his heir ON the Sofa
retreated to safe distance, rubbed his face
carefully smiled in vague kind of way, as
if he didn't know exactly where the fun came
in, wondered what the dickens Maria would
do under similar circumstances"
Baby put his fist into his mouth and
looked as though he wondered what his pa
ternal ancestor would do next.
There now" exclaimed Jones, immensely
relieved, che is papa's pity title sonny so
he is"
Sonny" promptly resented this by a long
drawn yell that struck tceror to the soul of
his dismayed parent.
Jones was at his wits end. He grew reck-
less He whistled to that baby he sang he
made faces; he cut series of antics that
would have driven balet-dancer mad with
envy; but all to no purpose. Baby had evil
IDENTIFY taken contract to furnish so much
yell in n given time, and was bound to do
the square thing.
When Mrs. Jones returned she found n de-
moralized looking man wandering around
the house, with IA baby on one arm, while
with his disengaged hand he wiped the per-
spiration from his manly brow with the tail
end of the baby's night dress.
at seems to me-" remarked Mrs. Jones, as
she took the baby, THAT men make a great deal
ofunnecessary fuss about putting baby to
sleep, Now, /"
The front door closed with bang. Jones
was on his way down the street to ''see a
man.