davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Magnolia gazette. [volume] (Magnolia, Miss.) 1872-current, 1881-07-15
HUM0Rs OF THE DAY.


CBoss roads are most apt to be bad
ARKANSAS women love 70 whistle.
And what is more lovely than tulips we'll
blown?
TRIrLEs light as hair sometimes turn
the whole course OF mans appetite,
says the New Orleans Picay,me.
An ILLINOIS girls toast "'rhe young
men Of America their arms our sup
porters, our arms their reward; fall in,
mon, fall ip
Jo SAYS that the best lip salve in crea-
tion is kiss, The remedy should be
used with great care, ns tmay bring on
m affection Of the heart
A BALTIMORE man remained i'll
trance for three days recently, and they
finally had to yell "dog fight" under his
window to rouse him to life.
MRs. HARRIET BREcuER SrowE thinks
il very inartistic TO knit mons foot gear
straight. Doesn't it depend, Harriet,
on whose socks it is that is gored.
NEBRASKA monument to horse
thief is simply stake Mt the head OF the
grave and sign reading: ut would have
been cheaper for him to 60 afoot.
A YouNG man has generally got tho
winning cards in his hand when, on
popping the question, he secs n flush"
III his swcethearts face. -SomervilJe
journal
BRIDGET (who has discovered the car
pet sweeper): "Luk at tho music box,
now, wild tho long handel | wander
how they plays on the insthrumintl'
Boston Transcript.
ar -,
receive the title Of DR. why cannot a
physician have the title of Row
Because people may think il meant
Revelations, and doctors know good
deal.
SAID little Edith to her doll. "There.
don't answer me back. You mustn't be
saucy, no matter how hateful / am. am
your motherl' Strange what curious
ideas children got into their heads some
times.
"WHAT pretty children, and how much
they look alike" says G, during first
visit at friends house. 'rhey are
twins his friend explains, "Whatl
both Of EN-? exclaimed O, greatly in
| terested.
THERE is knock at the front door,
I uiAtl tllb NblolNA litlobA pthNN ~ biAb AANI
Of the house: rs you dc white CONAN
what told d colored gemrnan you was
lookin' for colored lady TO wash your
clothes by the mumf? ?"
"YEs, said the tramp, "they talk
about the charitable institutions of Bos-
4 ton. Now, man can so down to
the Hawkins Street Home and get
supper and lodging, and he's got to saw
I foot Of wood to pay for it. By snakes,
sir don't call that charity. y" Boston
/ Post.
A NEW author, who intends to make q
/ living by good advice, says: "Neyer leave
what You undertake until you can reach
your arms around itand clinch yourhands
on the other side" Perseverance, and
all that sort of thing, in the right direc-
ton, is well enough, and even commend
able; but il the new authors advice is
carried out one is likely TO get his ears
boxed -NcW Orleans Piedyuise.
A CHICAGO young man broke into the
room Of the girl he loved, TO carry her
away, as she refused 10 marry him.
She was absent, but left the bull dog
asleep on her bed. The room was dark.
The dog didn't bark, but worked. In
about seven minutes the remains of the
young man came out and said that he
wouldn't marry that girl for $4,000.
The Magnolia gazette. [volume] (Magnolia, Miss.) 1872-current, 1881-07-15
What She Saw in Church.

lie staid at home and she went to
church; after dinner he asked her:
What was the text, May?"
On, Something, somewhere in Gener-
aIlohs; We forgotten the chapter and
verse. Mrs. High sat right before me
with Mother Hubbard bonnet ON.
HOW Gould hear anything when I could
no1 even see the minister? / wouldn't
nave worn such a looking thing to
SAarch, if I'd had to have gone bare
NHow did you like the new minister ?"
"Oh, he's splendid and Kate Darlin
was there in a Spanish lace cape that
never cost cent less than $50; and
ttney can't pay their butcher bills, and
"a wear cotton lace or go without any
Did he say anything about the new
mission fund?''
No, and the Jones girls were all
ngged out, In their yellow silks made
over; you would have died laugh
ipg 70 haye seen them. Such taste as
ul9ss girls have; and the minister gave
9at that the Dorcas Society will meet
place"
lit seems you didn't hear much of the
Sermon"
well, Tn sure its better to go tc
church, ii you don't hear the sermon
Ihan to stay at home and read the pa
pels; and oh, Harry the new ministe
las lovely voice; it nearly put me Il
S5eep. And did tell you that the
phs tpachs are home from Europe, and Mrs
hch had real camel's hair shaw
IN, and it didn't look like any thing OIL
a, A long silence, during which Harr7
thought OF several things, and his wifi
was busy contemplating the sky or view
Wnen she suddenly exclaimed:
Iherel I knew I'd forget to tell yo
something. Would you believe it, Han
~ the fringe on Mrs. Jones parasol
amch deeper than mine, and twice a
leayyl Oh, dearl what world {
SSoable this is."-Detroit Post and 7ri
The Magnolia gazette. [volume] (Magnolia, Miss.) 1872-current, 1881-07-15
BELLE

ei sne Nas the prettiest girl, ween,
adhat mortal eye had ever seen;
Her name was Auabel Christine.
Tier bangs were curled with bandoline. q
her cheeks were smoothed with vasaline.
Her teeth were brushed with hne dentine.
Her face was washed In coaline,
Her gloves were cleaned with gasoline.
She wore dress of grenadine.
Looped over a shirt q briliantine.
Her pettcoat was bombaIine,
Her IL foot was shod with kid bottine,
Ter Il wounds were healed with cosmoline.
She sailed away from Muscatine,
In ship they called brigantine,
she iirted with gay marine,
Iill they reached the Republic Argentine.
Where they were married by a dean,
And lived on oeomargarine,
Bloomington EHs.
The Magnolia gazette. [volume] (Magnolia, Miss.) 1872-current, 1881-07-15
Women in Boarding. Roueps.

Differences in families nnited by mar.
riage are mostly on the side of the wo-
men. Woman fails in tact to preserve
the amenities of the hearth. The soft
answer or the repression which evades
an issue is more on the part of the man
their lovers, but lose their skill to man
age their husbands. Women make the
cliques in congregations, church socie-
ties, family hotels, boarding-houses, and
wherever lovely woman predominates.
Lack of tact makes the traditional
mother-in-law Fathers-in-law have too
much tact to be fussy and irritating in
matters that should be left alone. Men
live harmoniously in clubs; women can
not live in clubs without getting into
hostile divisions
The Magnolia gazette. [volume] (Magnolia, Miss.) 1872-current, 1881-07-15
The Heroines of Nihillsm.

They are mostly daughters of poor
army officers, or petty civil officers, or
even Of shop keepers, who feeling the
influence of modern times, are anxious to
rise above the level of their parents,
coarse, ignorant people in the main:
Either by their own talents or by the aid
Of influential patrons, the girls gain
scholarships, and enter some high school
where their brains are crammed with
heterogeneous mass iof knowledge. At
ID they leave, and in turn become teach
ers. Finding their parents uncompan-
ionable, they abandon home for some
wretched lodgings, and eke out miser-
able existence by giving poorly. paid les
SONS. Food is scarce, the feminine pleas
ures Of dress are impossible, the restrain
ing power of family. affection is absent,
they grow hopeless and discontinued,
when some day they form socialistic
acauaintanees, rapidly adopt their ideas,
and, having found an object for their
life. with feminine rashness devote them
selves to the cause, even to the very
death.--Paris Figaro
CAMPAxrNI Is worth $50, 600. He
gotit all for song Boston Transcript.
And is still pursuing the even tenor Of
his way.
The Magnolia gazette. [volume] (Magnolia, Miss.) 1872-current, 1881-07-15

: Conn, doctor, it's 10 o'clock, and
4 t;raa oul1k we had better be going, for it's
ia s,ae honest folks were at home" said a
s.~ .awyef TO a physician, one evening re-
sTuy, Well, yes" was the reply.
sbst = must ao be otf, but you needn't go on
The Magnolia gazette. [volume] (Magnolia, Miss.) 1872-current, 1881-07-15

THE Pekin Times gives the following:
ga young lady of this city, who has a
Young gentleman friend in Peoria, called
him over the telephone, which is located
in the Office of the young fellows father.
The required ehellol' came back over the
wire. and the dear creature proceeded
TO lay herself out in 'taffy, which she
sent to the listening ear in vast quanti-
ties. While she was stopping to take
breath, gruff voice in the telephone
startled her with the following sentence:
I guess you've made a mistake, my
dear girl: I'm Georges father. When
she recovered she found herself at home
among friends.
The Magnolia gazette. [volume] (Magnolia, Miss.) 1872-current, 1881-07-15

The tenor Campanini is pronounced
"perfectly splendid and just too awfully
too too for anything" by the bang
wearing ladies Of New York. .--Nel0 Or
leans Picdyune. Awfully too too
what? Campanini is vocalist not q
too tootist. But as 1oots. would say,
"Its Of no consequence. IN T. Com
merciaL
The Magnolia gazette. [volume] (Magnolia, Miss.) 1872-current, 1881-07-15
How Long Man Mnr Live.

It was Professor Hufeland's opinion
that the limit Of possible human life
might be set down at 200 years; and this
on the general principle that the life Of
creature is eight times the years of its
period of growth. That which is quickly
formed quickly perishes, and the earlier
complete development is reached the
sooner bodily decay ensues. More
women reach old age than men, bnt
more men attain remarkable longevity
than women. Some animals grow to be
very old. Horned animals live shorter
lives than those without horns, fierce
longer than timid, and amphibious longer
than those which inhabit the air. The
voracious pike exists, it is said, to an age
Of $50 years; the turtle is good for 100
years or more, and among birds the
golden eagle is known to have lived
nearly 200 years, while the sly and SOM
ber crow reaches the venerable age OF n
century. Passing up in the scale of life
to man, and skipping the patriarchs, We
find many recorded instances Of longevity
among the classic Greeks and Romans.
Pliny notes that in the reign of the En-
peror Vespasian, in the year rs, there
We're l24 men living in the limited area
between the Appennines and the Pc Of
100 years and upward, three Of whom
were 140 and 4 over 1876. Cicero's wife
lived to the age Of 1903, and the Roman
actress, Luceia, played in public rs late
as her l12th year. Coming down to
more recent times, the most notable
authentic instance Of great age is that Of
Henry jenkins, of Yorkshire, England,
who died in 1870, 169 years old. He
was a fisherman, and at the age of 100
easily swan across rapid rivers An
other historic case is that Of Thomas
Pa1, Of Shropshire, day laborer, who
lived to the age Of 152 years. When
more than 100 he married his second
wife, and till 100 he could swing the
scythe and WELD the fail with the best
Of his fellow-laborers. In his 1921 year
Parr went up to London 10 exhibit HIM
self to the king. 1t proved an unlucky
visit, for, violating the abstemious habit
of a century and half the old man
feasted so freely on the royal victuals
that he soon died, merely Of plethora
On examination his internal organs
proved to be in excellent condition, and
there was no reason why he should not
have lived much longer save for this un-
fortunate taste of royal hospitality.
Professor Hufelands 8 roll Of centenarians
includes many more remarkable cases.
The Magnolia gazette. [volume] (Magnolia, Miss.) 1872-current, 1881-07-15

DIsESoAGED lovers may be described
o. express companies,
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1881-05-19

There is a huge pile of rock, dirt
and garbage on Ninth street, between
GATES Kersburg's and the building
known IS Haynes. There is just room
enough for one wagon to pass through
Il, and it reminds one of high noun
tain range with a Marshal pass OF
some other pass running over it. Why
don't our authorities remove or make
those Who put it there do so. You arc
sitting around stores on dry goods
boxes, kicking. because people dent
cone here faster, Notwithstanding the
noFes averages about thirty per day.
Iaseead Of being idle, take your pick
aal tbvel and fix up the street in
Eoee = yosr house 50 that the stree,
vii lsalent ! respectable appearance
- fe sye e = Stranger. WHY sir,
iintks 1nat co.. Of the street.
ve wosA Be aGaamed to have ou,
nooi a-law to visit us, let alons
bpiatiAg out capitalists to buy mines.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1881-05-19
BLOOD,
The Wat0yer The Bonanza Lode Commenced in
Dead Earnest this Morning
Deputy Sheriff Allison and a Posse Approach
he Nine to Serve Warrant and arc
Fntd Upon by tn, Guards
The Sknf's Posse Return the Fire and
Wspd Guards Malbney and Kehe.
The Posse Under Arrest, Etc.

The sun rose bright and early this
morning. But before old Sol made
his appearance D. B. Powers, accom-
panied by Dep. Sheriff Allison, VIM.
Yule, J. J. Mcleod, H. J. Parker,
Messrs. Buckmaster and others, ap-
peared at the Bonanza mine, situated
below town. The deputy sheriff began
to read warrant to John Maloney
and Mr.. Kehoe, who were guarding
the mine, for their arrest, but they re-
fused to hear it. Whereupon both
parties being we'll armed, firing of
guns Immediately commenced, the re-
suit of which was that Mr.. Kehoe re-
ceived serious wound in the elbow,
which will perhaps cause amputation,
and Mr.. Maloney received a slight
wound in the wrist. The Powers par
ty then took possession of the mine,
but were arrested on warrant of an
assault with deadly weapon with In
tent to kill, at theinstigation of I. J.
Maloney. They appeared before JUS
tice Dollison for trial, but the trial
was deferred until tomorrow after
noon at two O'Clock to give the de-
PENDANTS time to get their counsel.
This trouble has been brewing for
sometime, the purport of which is as,
follows as near as we can CLEAN The
Buckmaster boys located this claim in
'7o with Messrs. Yule and Mcleod as
part owners. In 80 they claimed to
have had $500 worth Of work done on
the property by letting contract to
the Good Enough Co., to quarry rock.
Mr.. P. McCabe ct al, thinking that
the assessment was not legal, relocated
it this winter and commenced work.
III the meantime the Buckmasters dis
posed of their interest to the Ruby s.
Teausure Mt. Mining Co. When
this company come to work their
property this spring, and found 1t in
the hands of other parties suit for
epossession was Immediately entered
into. Finding that the jurisdiction
of our district court was little COM
pliCated no decision of the case could
be rendered, hence the struggle for
possession this morning. These are
the facts, but who is in the right or
wrong we are not prepared to say.
But one thing, gentlemen, we are all
sovereigns of the United States and
are willing to abide by the rulings of
the courts established by the govern
ment, but when it fails to enforce its
laws the people will assert their rights
and protect them. We do not want
to see bloodshed and see brother stand
up and shoot at brother for worldly
gain. Have we no laws to protect us?
Are we living in a state of barbarism?
For the want Of space and time we
are compelled to cut short, but will
perhaps give further details in another
iSS,,e
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1881-05-19

The tent to be used as a place o
worship by the Presbyterians is being
rapidly stretched, with view Of using
it next Sunday for divine service.
Rev. Mr.. Hamilton will hold SER
vice in it next Sunday, morning and
evening at the usual hours. Sunday
school at three O'Clock in the after
noon.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1881-05-19

Four boxes Of purifying remnants
OF a butcher shop emit death dealing
odor from avenue E, a dozen steps
from the postofice. A delightful
fragrance to meet the olfactories Of
our city dads, and judging from the
time the corruption has remained there
the c. DIS are rather fond OF it.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1881-05-19

In another column will be found the
card Of Edward Sells s. Co., Gunni-
son, dealers and jobbers in staple gro
ceries and general merchandise. These
gentlemen are receiving staples in car
load lots almost daily, and can supply
retail dealers at Denver prices with
freight added only, thereby save the
trouble Of ordering from the east.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1881-05-19
ITEMS OF INTEREST.

Malcolm keeps the best Cigars.
Timberline EN- is on the war path.
A great deal of freight is now com
ing in over the Crested Butte DAD.
Circulating Library at Malcolm's.
Messrs. Sappington & Unthank,
the gentlemen who purchased Joe
Selig's stock of liquors, show their
enterprise this week by advertising IN
the PILOT. If you want good drink
and good treatment, visit them.
Daily and Weekly Papers at Nal.
colm's Postofice News Depot.
Sometime ago Morton Scott and
John McDermott had contract to
sink an assessment on claim. After
the work was done Mr.. Scott collected
most of the money and claims to
have paid Mr.. McDermott, who
claims that he did not. SO yesterday
McDermott met Scott and asked him
for money, when Scott refused. Some
words ensued when it came to COM
bal, the result of which was that McDer-
mott received an ugly cut over the eye
with a knife in the hands of Scott,
Who was arrested and fined twenty
dollars and cost by Justice Dollison
Smoking and Chewing Tobacco at
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1881-05-19

Ladies in this country are very often
compelled to send to Denver or some
of the eastern cities for dress goods,
lsces ETC., thinking they can buy
cheaper from larger assortment.
Mr.. Jas. A. Preston, Of Gunnison,
knowing the great demand for tina,
line Of goods as our female population
increased, has added to his store a full
line Of silks, velvets, pushes, laces,
etc. Any of our lady friends can or.
der by mail as we'll As in person. See
his card in another column.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1881-05-19

Any of our citizens who are in need
of furniture, either household or office
will do we'll to call on or send to
Arey & Rickert, Gunnison. They
keep on hand good assortment of all
kinds Of furniture and persons wishing
anything in that line can really do
better in a bargain than in Denver.
Orders by mail promptly and cheer
fully attended to. See their card in
another column Of this paper.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1881-05-19

The singing was dispensed with at
the Presbyterian church last Sabbath
because there was no one present who
could " raise the tune" ?" Where are
all those vocalists who started in with
such gusto to lead, some time since7
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1881-05-19

Our city Solons took the advice of
the PlLor ard cut bitches in our
streets. Result-Water drained off
and dust flying. Our advice is always
good. Everybody should take it.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1881-05-19

- DR.. Forhan was summoned to the
house of Mrs. Price, in the lower
town, last Sunday, where that lady
gave birth to girl baby. Tally two
for the lower town.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1881-05-19

The dog tina: will follow anybody
amt worth cuss.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1881-05-19

Metzler's saw mill. near the lake,
commenced saving to-day.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1881-05-19

AAsThs rates Tor local noices will be twenty-five
oon0 hns for ths Art ipsestion and fifteen ceats
W. for sach slsequsnt Insertion, and from these rates
Ve viii not 6eviate.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1881-05-19
PERSONAL.

E. G. Fisher, has returned from
Pueblo.
Johnny Leas, a Minnesota lad, is
in town.
MI. Gray, blacksmith, arrived on
Monday with his team.
Mr.. Skinner Of Colorado Springs,
is in camp for the summer.
Mr.. Edward DeLavergne, after an
absence of several months, is with US
again.
G.. N. Williamson, of the firm of
Rose, Reed & Co., is in back again
in camp from New York.
Col. w. T. Holt, started for New
York last Friday. Something in the
wind, we can tell by the way the straws
fly.
Smith Cullom is once more in camp
after having had glorious time in
Denver. He is the boy who deserves
a glorious time.
]. w. Hughes, Cawker City, Kan,
has returned to Irwin. Says twenty
persons left his town in wagons about
week ago, for this camp.
J. E. Donehower, interested in the
Galena King, on Taylor river, and
several other valuable properties, came
in from Minnesota last week to resume
work on his claims.
Frank Winters has resumed work
on the Diabolo mine. Readers of the
PILOT will recollect this property as a
ruby producer and causing much ex-
citement last summer.
The wife, of Mr.. Lewis Coffin ar
rived from Teachhout S, Monday, and
has taken up her residence in the
building on upper Ninth street lately
occupied by H. T. Painter.
S. Cullom & Co., the firm of nerve
and enterprise, have mammoth sign
in the postofice which attracts con-
siderable attention. Go in, boys
there's nothing like advertising.
]. D. Hotf of Rome, Ca, who was
engaged in the assaying business here
last summer, has returned from his
southern home. He is interested in
the Young America mine.
Jake Metzler, after having captur-
ed one Of Iowa's fairest daughters this
winter, returned to camp last week
and has taken up his abode near his
saw mill. You have our best wishes
for your happiness and prosperity,
Jake.
Maj. Cameron, of the Pneblo steel
works, has been at Crested Butte sew
eral days testing the coking coal of
that vicinity. He pronounces it the
finest coal he ever handled. The
Major will test the anthracite coal of
Ruby IN few weeks.
Maj. w. c. Miller, treasurer and
manager of the Standard mining COM
pany, has returned from Denver, and
will at once commence to hump"
the work on the company's properties,
and he is the man who can do 1t. As
a rustler he stands pre-eminent.
Frank Winters, one of our pioneer
miners (and good one), who is in
terested IN the we'll known Diabolo
lode, returned from Minnesota, last
Saturday, where he has been fondling
"new baby" who will be here in
June accompanied by its mother.
John Slatterly, millionaire in the
disguise of a shoe maker, is again with
us and running the {" Rocky Noun
tain cobbler shop" on Ninth street.
John is interested in the best galena
lode in o, O,-Be-Joyful basin-the Little
Schuylkill. Good luck to ye, me by.
Col. ]. Murta, railroad contractor
who operates with Mccarthy & Ho-
man. came into camp Monday. He
is interested in some valuable mining
property here and has declared him
self fixture. After a look around
he said in a business way, "this is
good enough for me.
Mr.. Samuel Geiselman and wife ar
rived in camp last week from Houston,
Texas. This gentleman was in camp
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1881-05-19

Thirty persons came in camp last
Fridy. How ish do, eh7
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1881-05-19

The ordinances prepared for Irwin
by the city attorney, Ed. F. Colburn,
Esq, are, We have heard, being copied
by other interpretations.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1881-05-19
THURSDAY, MAY 19, 1881.

Mr.. D. H. johnson has favored us
With mining items.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1881-05-19

q. Stages and freight teams arrive here
daily, without any trouble whatever.