The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1881-01-29
THE THIN ACTRESS.
An Over True Tale by n San FranciscI Jour
nuliAt.


OF course we all read the nonsense printed
by the Eastern papers on the subject of Sarah
Bcrnhuruts physical insuiliciency, but very
few people realize how prclernalurally thin
she Is tor all that. The following perfectly
true incident will convey an approximate idea
however, especially tocountry readers: In the
winter of rs the lrrepressib!e anG omniverOus
Sara became enanUreu Of all aitache of the
American Legation In Paris named McGug
ger. We don't mean that MEG. ever actually
became one of the great stars list Of alleged
husbands, but suffice il that success finally
crowned her efforts 20 arrest the COY repreSen-
talvc of the bird o. freedom
The wonderful actress worshipped her art
more than her lover, howcver-which IS gen.
orally the case with wonderful actresses; SO it
happened that she WAS not sorry To suddenly
discover that she possessed dread rival in a
pretty grlseitc, rs ust AT that moment she was
rehearsng the part oi jealous wife, and was
professionally glad To OBTAIN all the points on
Jealousy, 50 to speak, she possibly could. To
atllIze the circumstance to the best advantage
the Bcrnhardt proceeded 10 gain secret admis
sion to the rooms Of McGugger, IN the hopes
of Witnessing an interview between her rival
and her flithlcss adnlrer, and drawing valua
bic eXpcrl, nee from the laceration of her own
feelings while 50 engaged.
There WAS shotgun standing in the corner
Gas is the case in most American bedrooms)
into one of the barrel, of which the star easily
crawled after removing few superfluous ar
tiCleS of apparel which she slipped INTO the
other barrel. Nobody entered, however, and
finally, getting tired of waiting, Sara tucked
the top wad OF the charge under her head and
went fast asleep. That night there was an
alarm of burglars raised, and McGugger was
just in the act of discharglng his gun at man
getting over the fence when Sara, who had
been awakened by the click of the gun-lock
shrieked
Don't shoot! Pm in the gum"
(Which baTrcl-quick :" said McG-.
The left, but my things are"
The attachc, however, instantly touched tho
other trigger, and simultaneously Sara's his
torlcal high-heeled slippers crashed through
the housebreaker's pope's nose, so to speak.
"WIll you come out?" sand our representa-
tive, shaking the gun, "or shall get the ram
rod and extract YOU"
the Bernhardt, thOagh, of course, in eXccllen
French. I'm afraid shall have to borrow
your gun to wear home"
Il guess you'd better" said McGugger, las il
looks like rain"
So he turned the gun muZzle downward, sc
that she could get her feet on the floor, ano
stecred her down stairs. The passers IN tron
of Sara's house being much astonished, a few
moments later at beholding shotgun de
scend from a coupe and walk up STAIRS, pro
PEELED by shadowy PAIR OF unmistakable
Hebraic feet
And now what is the tender and beautiful
lesson taught by this lncidcnt? Does it not
gctle reader-does 1t not, we say-assure the
earnest and thoughtful student Of eementive
philology that, independent of and correlatvo
apart from the ornilhological influence of con
temporaneous anlmalculae, the intinitude OF
interchangeable bitterness, contaminated tho
1t be by sepulchral translucence can seldom
or hardly always, mpregnate with Elusive cy.
noephelIan lnsistincc the genealogical assev
Grafton of protoplasmc aslmu,h, or either, IN
case of fire or sickness in the family,