Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1881-04-27

poor little Coco annoys you L will place
him at the back of the house; in that
position you will no longer be able to
hear him."
The English attempted to express his
thanks, and was about to Withdraw. but
Dolores had an eye for business. TAX
ing up package of tickets which lay
upon the table, she said:
Milford"
sob, [ am not MILFORD. I am only an
esquire"
Dolores started, but went on:
"Well, monsieur, this evening / am
to have benefit at the theater where I
am engaged. Would you be kind
enough to take box-ticket? You would
oblige me greatly" and she placed a
dozen tickets in his hand. "Who
knows" thought she, "when he sees
me in my pink costume in the third act,
but [ may make conquest? It's true,
he's horribly ugly, but then that ring
The Englishman was examining the
tickets carefully, and after he had ascer-
tanned beyond doubt what they were for,
he demanded the price.
"SNty francs per box" replied Dolo-
res; and then, seeing him drawing out
his purse, "oh, there is no occasion for
hurry. monsieur"
/" [ prefer to pay on the nail, said Mr.
Birnan, and drawing out bank note for
thousand francs, he placed it ON the
table.
81 will give you the change, said Dol
ores, opening little drawer.
ooh, no." said the Engls.Iman, "that
is pourboire," and he disappeared.
"Pourboirew said Dolores, red with
rage, "what can the fellow mean? I'll
send his money back" -
But on reflection she concluded that as
her rent was due that day she would
keep the money, and set down the re-
| mark as a mistake due to ignorance of
the language rather than as an imper-
thence.
When evening came Dolores repaired
to the theatre. The hour was near at
hand, and when she appeared at the
wing she saw by the joy painted upon
the visages of the other actresses that
there was something wrong She has
tened to the peep-hole in the curtain and
looked out. The dozen boxes were emp
ty!
Her heart filled with rage and bitter
ness, Dolores retreated to the green room
There conversation between two of her
dear friends-who apparently did not
see her-added to her fury:
"Poor Dolores p
Did you ever see such a benefit?"
sob, when her name is put on the
bill it acts like fret acts like fire
it empties the house."
"Tn wager she could put all she
makes from this in the toe of one of her
stockings"
Dolores went through the perform
ance as well as she could with empty
boxes striking her in the face, and pro-
ceeded home at midnight a wrathful
woman. AS soon as she reached there
sho took Coco and hung him on the front
balcony, Immediately under the window
of the Englishman. Mr.. Birnan awoke
with a SILVER of alright Was he
dreaming? No. 1t was the screech of
Coco.
From that day on war was declared
between the actress and the Englishman
bitter, unrelenting war; war to the
death; war without prospect of peace;
war which no amount of expense could
quell.
Dolores had the parrot instructed in
English for the express benefit of Mr..
Birnan; and from morning until night
the tireless bird pored forth fluent
stream of English billingsgate, in which
he despatched the hapless Briton with
abuse. Dolores herself suffered from it.;
but she hoped that the Engishman
would be wearied out and leave the place.
A total rout was the only thing that
would content her; her feminine ven
geance required the abandonment of the
battlefield by the enemy.
On Mr.. Blrnan's side the war was not
less actively carried on At first he
started drum school in his rooms, and
for some days an entire corps, under the
direction of drum-major, kept up a
ceaseless racket from daylight until
dark. At last the authorities interfered.
and Mr.. Birnan was obliged to give up
his drummers.
Next he established shooting gallery.
and the blue footman, the green footman,
the black footman, and the other domes-
tics took turns firing at target. When
they had become SO expert as to be able
to pierce the ace Of hearts at twenty
PAGES, the police interfered. They in
formed the Englishman that the munich
pal regulations forbade the use of fire.
arms in private houses, so the shooting
gallery was abandoned.
Some days passed, undisturbed but
for the screeches, groans and curses of
Coco. But finally Dolores discovered
that it was raining in her apartments
Her frescoed ceilings and costly hangings
were ruined. She complained to the
landlord. On investigation he discov-
cred that Mr.. Birnan had converted his
salon into large salt water bath. The
walls and floor were covered with zinc
Slightly leaky); the doors we're closed,
all but the main one, the upper half of
which was used as an entrance; guam
tity of salt had been mixed with the
water; and there, daily, Mr.. Birnan was
want to disport himself in the briny
waves. Even fish had not been forgot
ten. 1t was gigantic marine aquar-
iJm.
The landlord was fl1riOus and tbros+