River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1881-11-17
INA NUT SHELL.
Pope says Whatever is, is right
Brown takes a different view,
He says, since his wife Hoped last night

4
Brown takes different view,
He says, since his wife Hoped last night
| She's left ana les left, too"
Cause and effect, water is so scarce
in New Jersey that the price of milk is
going up.
81 say, when does this train leave?"
| "What are you asking me for? Go to
the conductor I'm the engineer" 81
know you're the engineer: but you
might be civil engineer"
"Do you tumble?" softly asked the
meek-eyed banana peel, as the fat man
sat down TO think.
The man who toes the mark-the
old man who reaches out for Jane
AIMS Teller at two o'clock a. m.
Residents of Iowa and her sister states
of the West have served notice upon
| Whitelaw Reid and Mrs. John j. Aston
that they desire no more street waits
from New York. Some of these Arabs
have ripened into train-wreckers.
Mrs Howe, the Boston banker,
awaits sentence for her fraudulent
operations. The assignee in bankrupt
| cy shows that the depositors numbered
nearly one thousand, who have filed
claims for 1890, $780,
Mrs. Fry, on clipping from Unionville,
| Ohio, left note kindly advising her
husband to get divorce Immediately,
and marry certain frugal and in
dustrious widow of the neighborhood,
who would, as she expressed it, "be
| good to the seven small Fry"
"Ah, dearest" sighed the young man
90 j, forf e L. l1a4
| thou know what of all outward things
is nearest my hearth" Really, can't
say" she replied, "but if you have any
regard for your health in this change
able weather, | should think it was
flannel shirt" She was too practical,
and it broke the engagement.
The site of the O'Leary stable, in
which a $40 COW started the 100000
600 fire at Chicago, is now occupied by
a two-story brick residence, with
tablet stating that the fire of 1871
started at that point and went to Lin
coin Park.
One provoking feature about the
stove "racket" is, after man has lift
ed the stove, and burst several blood
vessels and is as red in the face as
blooded beat, the woman who has qui-
city slipped the zinc under the stove,
goes out and tells the neighbors that
she did the job by her 'lone self"
Robert Bloskie, who has just died in
Wabash, Indiana, had for nine years
lived chiefly on dog meat. which he
declared to be wholesome and pala-
table. His family relished the same
food, and propose to continue its use.
"You are on the wrong tack" said
the pilots wife when the hardy son of
the loud-sounding sea sat down ON it
and arose with the usual EXPLANATIONS.
"No," he replied, after a critical exam
nation. 81 am on the right tack, but
shoot me dead if amt on the wrong
end of it.
evil you please insert this obituary
notice?" asked an old gentleman of a
Binghamton editor. II make bold to
ask it because the deceased had great
many friends about here who would be
glad to hear of his DEATH"
A Morrisania photographer lately
committed suicide AS he was one of
those four-for-a-quarter old men, it is
supposed that some OF the pictures he
had taken came suddenly upon him
unawares, or that he took a good pic
ture by mistake.
There is only one woman we know
of who can let other women pass by
her without looking after them, to see
whether their polonaises are shirred in
the elbow and cut bias on the watch
pocket. The woman in question is
toha ooo Sio,, IN Main stroat
Richard Grant White, author of
"Words and their Uses" has the finest
amateur collection of violins in the
country. When Mr.. White tunes up
his violins, and hears the remarks of
the next-door neighbors, he is treated
to a thrilling illustration of "words and
their uses"
A horse car conductor was before the
court few days ago charged with as
sHlting his wife. 1t was shown in the
evidence that he had struck her with
his fist and knocked her down. He
acknowledged the assault, but pleaded
in extenuation that his calling led him
into habits of punching the fare. The
Judge said it was all right as long as he
confined himself to punching the fare,
but he would fine him for knocking
down the fair.
A brother and sister aged Is and II,
went for the first time to circus in
Little Rock, and were so dazzled by the
glories of the show that they resolved
to go off with it. The girl put on male
attire, and in that garb introduced her
self and brother to the circus manager
as twins. They could sing fairly, were
remarkably handsome pair, and the
manager hired them at 50 a week and
expenses to perform in the concerts
after the regular ring exhibitions. On
reaching New Orleans they had seen
all they desired of circus life, and were
glad to be sent back by benevolent
oIoup to tha opvio,,S ,naranto