The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1881-08-13

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In early life. ON the home farm, It Il
said that Jay Gould's special chore was
Estering the stock
A liveryman thinks the great want Of
he day i young men with three arms.
lie vaguely says it would lessen the
lumber Of sleighing accidents.
Teacher-"Has FIRE any genderr"
fupil-ssYes; feminine" Teacher
What makes you think soP" Pupil
because mamma tells papa not to hug
Tho fre."
Mrs. Brown. I do wish you would
Try to bring David out 0 little. Why.
10 you know he's so bashful that I
,eally think il he caught tho measles
hey wouldn't come out"
When q man begins TO go down hill
re finds everything CREASED for the oc-
sasion, says q philosopher. who might
ave added that when he tries to climb
Up he finds everything creased for the
occasion. too.
..Are sisters Sally and Nancy re-
iources. pap mo. my boy: why do
you ask that question:" because I
heard Uncle Joe say that il you would
only husband your resources. you would
ret along a great deal better than you
10. That's all pa"
The other morning an Irishman was
Leard objurgating as follows within his
lilapidated shanty: .Where is my
white-handled knife. ye young spaf-
peenP" II don't know, father" bad
luck to vel The next time ye lose it,
30 as ! can't find it at all. I'll cut of
yer head wild It'll"
s'How much is your stick candyr'
inquired . boy Of q candy dealer ''Six
sticks for five centsP" "Lemme see.
Six sticks for Eve cents. five for four
cents. four for three cents. three for
two cents. two for one cent. one for
nuthin'. I'll take one" and he walked
out, leaving the candy man in a state
Of bewilderment-
A little Boston girl called one of her
dolls, . little jointless creature, tho
''woman's rights doll" but why do
you call her sor" asked her aunt,
q lecturer upon that much-discussed
question. "Oh, cause, Aunt x" the
child answered. s'she's Just like you;
che can't rel sit down and be comfort
able.
There is one boy in Galveston who
will never be . musician. He is too
independent. His teacher was trying
to mako him play the right notes, and
said to him, you must not reach way
there on the table. That's not
right" II guess I'll reach where I
please on this piano. We own this
piano. I reckon. I'll put my feet upon
is IL / see fit"
Doctor" said one Of our best young
men in society. doctor. l guess there
is something the matter with my brain;
l know there is. What shall lido about
itP" And the doctor calmly but firmly
said he guessed it needed q little exer-
else as much as anything else; and now
the best young man goes around saying
the doctor is q fool.
Scene-Street-car in Jerusalem: Old
lady hooks her parasol oyer the strap
and pulls. .'Driver, driver! stop the
car. 1 don't want to go clear to Mount
Zion" This car don't 90 that way.
NUM-; 1t stops at the American Beer
Garden" Thus we note the progress
Of time.
Wife. given to literature and the
drama, to her husband-'George, what
is the meaning of the expression Go it.
you meet with SO frequently in Shaks-
peare and the old dramatistsP" Hus-
band mot q reading man)-"I don't
know. I'm sure. my dear, unless-well
perhaps he was going to say-but
thought it wouldn't sound proper.
The following letter was received by
o clergyman from n member of his con-
gregation who pursued the humble but
useful calling Of a tailor. 1t was written
about six months after the delivery of q
very impressive sermon urging the
brethren to put faith in one another,
''Dear sir, / have tried the plan you
recommended, and l beg to inform you
in all candor that it won't work. Il
you expect mo to pay pew rent. don't
preach that doctrine any more.n