Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1881-02-08

man, with StllI Digger voice, anu
limp faded little wife, whose sole
earthly interest seemed centered in the
four whIte-eyed, freckle-faced children
Uncle Silas and Aunt Milicent were q
silent pair, with excellent sppetltes,
and two tall boys who giggied and
snickered at each other in the intervals
of the conversation.
Cousin Joab talked ircessaptly with
his mouth full, and the two Miss Viii
merdiDgs served as gene val echoes OF
the rest; while Aunt Louise devOured
lobster salad ad libitum, and Kept on
sending up her cup for more green tea,
until trembled for her nerves
While my wife, careful and troubled,
like Martha of old, with many things,
looked ready to drop with the lrospita
BILE eXertiOns she had made, antF l. sit
ting mere cipher at the head Of my
table, felt as if were keeping u t'oard
ing house without any OF the pecuiIary
emoluments therefrom. <
my trunks will be up on the six
O'Clock train," said the Rev. Mr.. Spark
well. TN trouble you, Cousin Poyntz,
to send an expressman to the depot for
'em. And ii there's any apartment in
this domicile, Cousin Poyntz, that could
be fitted up as study for my tempora-
ry use, it would greatly facilitated my
intellectual occupation during my So
ljourn in the suburbs of this great city.
And must beg that you will keep the
house very still during the hours which
devote to my study"
Here my wife looked at me aghast,
thinking of little Johnnie and the ba-
jby.
"Never mind, my dear" rep arked,
sotto voice. I'VE can easily get 'em
boarded somewhere"
"And," went on the Rev. Mr.. Spsrk
we'll. II should deem it a favor if q
horse and buggy could be procu red for
1my daily use-when going to DR., Dosem,
in the city, as the motion Of the train
disagrees with my nervous system"
II don't happen to own carriage"
said I. "But 1 might buy one"
"Thank you. thank you, Cousin
EPoyntz." said Mr.. Sparkwell, blandly.
And if there's any other little thing
you should happen to want" added,
'pray don't be backward in mentioning
it,"
"No, I won't, Cousin Poyntz," said
4 the revernded gentleman, with the ut
4 most gravity imaginable.
4 And am bound to say that be kept
his word.
I For three DAYS I endured the swarm
,of visitors which literally infested my
b ome, and made up my mind that pa
tie uce had ceased to be virtue.
"I"Il put stop to this thing" said /.
Ica-me home one night with tfagical
expres sion on my face.
"Kat herine," said to my wife, "I'm
ruined"
"Whatrn cried all the company at
once.
"Those g. .hares in the Western Union,
you know,'' said I, s.uiting my fore
head.
Eyes, DEAR" groaned poor Kitty.
''They have gone down." said /,
"Not worth a penny"
"Oh, John!"
II wish I had taken your advice and
let 'em alone" I said. "Bnt after all
it doesn't SO mu ch matter, as if ] had
no friends. you know"
I looked beami.ng around at my wife's
relations. They returned the glance by
the blacklist of sta res.
IF could borrow $500 apiece of all
4 cheerfulness, land request Uncle Silas
to indorse my business notes"
\ II couldn't think Of such thing"
i hurriedly interrupted that gentleman
\ "I should be quite happy to oblige"
\ said COusi moab, ''but am quite out
\ of funds at present"
il "And l." said the Rev. Mr.. Spark
L well, pushing back bis chair, ''must
\ save what little share 1 possess of the
\ worlds filthy lucre to pay my passage
and that of my family back to Mime
sofa"
"Surely," cried 1, "you will not 60
away and leave me in such pecuniary
straits as these?"
I The Rev. Mr.. Sparkwell significantly
buttoned up his pockets.
Its every mans business to look
after himself, Cousin Poyntz," said he
land I don't scruple to say that it is
A downright dishonest for business man
4 like yourself to get into such financial
\ difficulties"
/ Aud in fifteen minutes every cousin
\ in the lot had, upon one excuse or
| another, vanished from the room to pack
and prepare for immediate departure.
looked at my wife, my wife looked
at me. I burst out laughing; Kitty be-
"My dear" said I, "it's an easier job
than 1 thought it would be. l didn't
know but that it would be necessary
for me to catch the smallpox, before l
could get rid of your relations"
"But are we very poor, John -? And
must we give vi tulS uc'7l I1oeA0 ~O1"6C'
Oh, how cruel it was of Cousin Joab,
and Mr.. Sparkwell, and Uucle Silas,
and all of them not to help you! know
Mariana Wilmerding has $4,000 that
she wants to put out at interest, for ahe
told me 80 only yesterday. aud"
Eyes, exa city," said I. But prcba-
bly, she don It regard me as good in-
vestment.
"After all have done for them."
sobbed my wife.
Relations are only human. my
DEAR" said I.
The company took their leave with
out much ceremony of adieux, and that
afternoon my wife came to me with
| tears in her eyes.
"John," said she, twill you tell me
! how much money you have lost in that
| hOrried Western Union stock Because
I would rather know the worst at
once"
Lost ?" I repeated, looking up from
! the news paper which was reading in
Uncle Silas' favorite easy chair, now
vacated for the first time i'll many days.
"Why, who ssid I had lost anything 2"
"You did y
"Excuse me, my dear, ssid nothing
of the kind. 1 merely said that the
| Western Union shares were not worth
a penny. Neithe were they to me. as
I had sold out all l possessed week
ago."
John !"
Eyes, my dear"
"How could you?"
Every easy" sai.i I, with latent
smile; "My dear, think II your Ie,a, Ia
tions had tayed anOth'er week, snoulo
have conn nitted suiciOe."
And y OH told that orried story just
to get rid of them ?'
II ma de that unimpeachable state
ment wi tn that precise intention.
"The,J were rather trying" confessed
Kitty. "And 1 think they eight nave
helped you little when they thought
you we re bankrupt"
again." said I, quietly.
Aud was right. They did not.
The man who was approached from
the ear by goat and went over SIX
| g., ho