The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1881-01-12
THE MANAGEMENT OF BOYS.

Man of Letters, Who Has Two OF Them.
Recites His Methods of Home Training,
and Explains His Success.
"You see," he said, "that | make CON-
panions of my boys, and in governing them
L make companionship the basis. L like
boys-in fact like nothing else so we'll;
and my theory is that by cultivating
childs acquaintance you get an insight into
his nature, and are thereby enabled to adapt
your teaching to his peculiarities."
The speaker was man of letters. we'll
known in this city. He has two interesting
boys, aged respectively eleven and eight
years.
Suppose you found that one of your boys
had been smoking?"
"Well, a short time ago L told one ofthem
that so far as smoking was concerned Ishould
have no objection whatever to his smoking, if
he thought best, after he became man. but
thas should object to his doing so until he
was of age. | explained to him. that the
highest authorities had decided that this
practice in youth stunted the growth, i'm
paired the intellectual and physical forces
and shortened life by producing or encour-
aging certain functional troubles that were
by this habit developed into something else
afterward. Then he said, i shall not smoke
until after l am twenty-one, and not then
if think it hurts me- / have since found
out that vigorous efforts have been made
by other boys to induce him to smoke,
without success"
"My boys" observed, "every now and
then, especially after returning from Sun
day school, ask for categori information
with respect to various theological dogmas
which am entirely unable to give them
They want to know if certain things that
have been taught them are true, but in my
present,stat of mind l don't know whether
these are true or not. What's man to do2
is he to make agnostics of his children at
once, or is he to be insincere and Iiar?"
81 make it a rule" he replied, "never to
teach Dramatically anything which l Don't
believe. L make it a rule never to teach my
boys dogmaticaily anything which 1 don't
regard as demonstrable. give them facts.
If don't know clearly what to think about
a matter tell them frankly that L don't
know, and then give them the common
teaching and my own opinion of it; but
instruct them that my opinions are by no
means infallible; that opinions rest upon
evidence, and that by anC by they must
gather and weigh all such evidence for them
selves. talk to boy of mine as frankly
upon a theological subject as upon anything
else-as upon the question, for instance,
whether or not the city of Berlin is the
largest steamer that comes TO this port. If
he asked me that question L should say that
l did not know; that had heard that the
CITY of Berlin and one or two Others were
the largest, but whether she was larger than
the.others l could not say. Then l would
tell him that | had friend who could give
him exact information about steamships,
and that / would give him that friends
address in case he should wish to obtain
definite information. But don't let him
think that / know what, in fact, do not
know"
"But in cases where exact information is
not obtainable?"
"In those cases tell him that it is not OBJ
tainable, at the same tine assuring him that
l may be mistaken in the matter. / give
him all the information that is accessible,
but never want him to think that the SUBJ
} ject is exhausted; and l try to leave the
question open for future discussion, so that
his mind is free to think healthily about the
matter in the future. / don't want him
when he has grown up ever to look back
upon anything and say Ny father showed
there want Of respect for truth. Further,
don want him ever to get into his own
mind any lack of reverence for truth, from
an observation of lack Of such reverence on
nv part. wari him to see that / haze
never told him as truth anything which was
not true, and that l have never told as true
things which / merely had reason to suppose
might be true"
"Boys sometimes pick up bad words from
street boys, and the first thing you know
they are ventilating their acquisitions upon
their nurses or mothers"
"Well, / tell my boy that as a gentle
mans son he is under obligations to himself
to be better ard decenter in hjs life and
habits than the boys in the streets are; and
l have explained to him that swearing and
blackguardism generally are wholly I'M
worthy of gentleman. A boy who has a
gentlewoman for mother and gentleman
for father ought not Il tell him) to act as
boy would who had been brought up in a
stable"
.'Your boys don't read dime novels sur
reptitiously2"
: THAT is hardly conceivable"
"Why?"
"Because from their earliest childhood
, they have always regarded me as their best
r friend and most intimate confdant. They
5 conceal nothing from me, because they are
not afraid of me-
.'Of course YOU do not encourage either of
them to report to you the peccadilloes of the
other2"
"No. My whole theory and practice of
4 education and government with both my
r boys has been to develop manliness and to
r set up in their minds as an ideal type of
a manly frankness, truthfulness, courage and
, purity. L have discouraged everything
: that initiated against this, encour.
aged everything that worked for it, and
H. II Aoxr
b given them the reason in order that they
b might understand what was trying ia
; make out of them and work with me to the
i same end. If one has not tried it it would
n surprise him to discover how readily boys