Mexico weekly ledger., 1881-11-03
H NEW BABY.
A Daughter Comes Into the S~poopendyks
Family.

From the Brooklyn Eagle.
"Well, we'll, well," said Mr.. Spoop-
endyke, with a grin that involved the
whole head, and an effort at a tip toe
tread that shook the whole house.
sand 80 it's a girl, my DEAR
: Mrs. Spoopendyke smiled family,
and Mr.. Spoopendyke picked up his
heiress. 4
''It's the image Of you," she said,
regarding with some trepidation Mr..
Spoopendyke'ss method Of handling
the infant.
ST don't see how you make that
out" said Mr.. Spoopendyke, gravely.
81 don't know when my nose looked
like the thumb part of a boiled oyster
claw. Do l understand you that my
eyes bear any resemblance to the
head Of q screw?" AnZ
Il mean the general features"
murmured Mrs. Spoopendyke.
''The general features seem to be
all mouth" retorted Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke, examining his acquisition ''If
our general features are at all alike,
my visage must remind you of an
earthquake. Hi! kitchee! kitchee!
What makes her fold Ut, her legslike
that?"
'sShe can't help it," reasoned Mrs.
Spoopendyke. "They'n be straight
in time" =
''No time like the present." quoted
Mr.. Spoopendyke, and he took his
daughters feet and commenced pull
ing her limbs. 81 don't want any
bandy-legged first in this family while
I'm at the haed of it."
Naturally the baby began to cry,
and Mr. Spoopendyke essayed to
soothe il. ~ -...-zyt
"Hi! kitchee! kitchee! kitchee! !"
he chirped. "Great Scott, what
cavern! Any idea how much this
mouth weighs? Hill hi! kitchee!
kitch-ee! You'll have to get that
mouth rooted in before cold weather.
What's the matter with her, anyway
"Perhaps you hurt her. Let me
take her, please pleaded helpless
Mrs. S~poopendyke. =
ssShe's dsing we'll enough Hill
YOU! Hold up! Haven't you any
thing to catch this mouth in? It's
splitting all over the 'nelghborhood.
Hill. Topsy, Geneyieve, Cleopatra,
dry up! I'm going to have trouble
q, breaking this young ones temper.
Lean see that. yHeret bend the other
way once!'' and Mr.. S~poopendyke
tried to straighten up his offspring
without avail. ]
s'Let her come to me; do please"
moaned Mrs. S~poopendyke, and Mr..
Spoopendyke was forced to hand her
over. - Dr =
swell, that's quite a lady," said
he, nursing his knee and cycling the
infant. "What are those bumps over
its eyes for? What preponderance OF
intelligence do they represent .
ssYou mustn't talk so,' remonstrat-
ed Mrs. Spoopeudyke. 'She's the
Handsomely baby you ever saw"
"Well, she's got to stop biting her
nails before she goes any further with
this procession Here, take your
hands out Of your mouth, can't you:
Why don't you put her hands DOWN.
''Why, all babies: do that?" ex.
planned Mrs. Spoopendyke. "You
can't stop that.
~ Sim going to try said Mr.
Spoopendyke, "and I don't want tc
be interferred with in bringing the
child up. Here, you, Maud S. Bone
setter, put your hands in your pockets,
Don't let me see any more nailchew'
ing, or you and I'll get mixed up il
an argument. She gets that from
your family, Mrs. Spoopendyke."
"Say, dear, don't you want to g
and order some things?''' asked Mrs
Spoopendyke. ~ A,s
.sNo," !rejoined her husband, $.
want to see this ~youngster. Where
her chin? Do babies always hav
their upper jaw set right on thei
shoulders? Kitchee!D kitcheei He
scalp comes clear to the bridge q
her nose. | don't believe she's quit
right. Where's her forehead?7 Gres
Moses! Her head is all on the bsc
part! Say, that baby's got to b
pressed. That's no, shape" y.
3ls'Get away" exclaimed Mrs
Spoopendyke, Indignantly. "She'
q petect angel. There's nothing i
the world the matter with her."
"Of course you know" growle
AIr. Spoopendyke. "You don't wal
anything more than a fog-horn an
misspent appropriation to be a
orphan asylum. If had your fat
and the collie, I'd make a living as
foundling's home She'll be ol
enough to spank in a week, won
sheP" -a4-s
"No, she won't!'' said Mrs. Spoo]
endyke. ssShe'il never be old enoue
for that 49,
'.I'll bet she will,"' grunted NJ
Spoopendyke, "if she isn't she'll G
it before she natures up to tn
period. That's all. Let me take he
Here, let's have her, kaa5s ~
rs But Mrs. Spoopendyke fatty +
fused. rsE} pfiH Ia. ~.
"Keep your dod-gasted bah
Their! rOared Mr.. tSpoopendyk
elf you know more about babies tn
do, then keep her. Phs way "
eoddle her one would think she was
new paste for the complexion.
you had one more brain and a handl
you'd make a fair rattle-box! I
you up with q broken sofa and
grease spot, and you'd do for a Sc
ond-hand nursery"
And Mr.. ~Spoopendpke started {
to find his friend Specklewottl
who, congratulated him, and start
off With him to assist in the seleeti'
of an overcoat and Q pair of ear-mu
as precautionary against the q
proaching winter. sl!ss q.
Griat Oil Boom.
E. Balch, Elgin, I'LL, writes: 18th
after trying dozens of patent lii
ments, without relief, for a.rheuma'
and stiff knee, I feel I have 'stru
oil at last for after using three bt
ties of Thomas Electric Oil, 1
.r~ou>~od ~ sav IL Ia the heat annie