davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
, 1881-07-06

The sorrowf.ll stato Of tic public MUD did
not permit tho ordinary cxtrarngAllca III Tho
why of explosive lI8lsuS OIL tho Fourth Of
July this yenr. Thousands Ut i,ersotls. who
1tavo annually extensive evening t!isplnys
OF fireworks omitted them nltogother ON
Monday lust. But there WINS neyor
tlle'css n too frequent discharge Of
pistols Ut all sIzcs during tho tay
by those who would bo gln.l to engage In ltlnt
amusement OH any .ay. We 10 not suppose
tint public opinion Is prepared to suppress
tho explosive forlM Ut celebration OIL tho
Fourth of July, especially the ovenlng dis
plays of fireworks but wetiu think that public
opinion Is opposetl 10 tin llrlng of guns aud
pistols Dy tlay or by night md will Insist
t'lat 1t sliall 10 stoppo.l. THAT Is tho ,nost
sensc!ess of nil tho forms of making mise;
1t Is nlao tlio greatcst nuisance, mid Is really
the cause ut more loss OF lEfe and Of personal
Injury than my other incidents of Fourtll-
of-July celebrations.
There Is n,' ordinance of the city prohibit
ing such proceedings, but placing nil power
over the mattur III tic discretion uf the
1lnyor. The Mayor gc,,craily Issues proc
ln.nntion limiting ule extcnt to which firing
md fireworks sl,uy take :placs, but tho rule
l!us been to accept: the proclamation rs
license to everybody to 10 WhRt fle rle,ses.
Tile Mayoi this ycarissueu his proclamation,
in which ho Especially prohibited tho firing
Of guns nid pistols III lie strtuis nnu alleys
of tlts city, and tint proclamation might liayo
saved two LIVES md several clses nj i1atln'ng
md other personal injury llad 1t been cl,-
forced.
H., In 41,o& fot}
this proclamation WIS treated, like all It's pre-
dcecssors, with perfect contolMpt; III person
expected 1t 10 ba enforced, and 10 perso,
WIS disappointed. The firing of guns as!d
pistols began rs early us Thursday night,
md was greatly increased OH Friday nt,d
Saturday nights, and oven OH Sunday evt,l-
Ing thore was considerable firing. 1lad tho
police arrested lhosu llr1ng gul,s atttl pistols
between Thursday md Monday ti,ero would
have BEEN no firing On the latter day. Tho
arrest Of half tlozen Nsrsolls Oil Frltlny, The
Imposition Of slight tliies, md tin conilscn-
tlon of tic. guns and pistols. woultl have
crushed out the business, ind on the Fourth
tlicro would hnvo been III pcrsOils killed or
nlalnlGtl by g,tlishnt or pistol wounds. Estl-
1llailng the number Ut buys in tho
city between tho ayes Of Z nld IS
yuars Mt 10000, It Is not extrnyaEant to
assume tint fuir-Iiftlls OF tlleln have
pistols of some kint In their possession, md
tic experiences Ut q dozell hontcttles during
thu lust fuw years by tho use of "toy" pistols
shows That tlletr usD Is rs fatal ~ tho ,,sc Of
any VI tho other. varieties. While It Is too
late now to remedy The nol,-enforcenent of
tho ordnance md of tho Mayors l,roclAsna-
In
, 1881-07-06
TuE Australian ceusus, OF; which tllo IN

TnE Australian ceusus. OF; which tllo ap-
psoxlnlato results wore 1uado known eArly tn
May. l,ss surprised and disappointed tho people
of Victoria, who duh themselves leas numerous
by lnore than l00,0N than thvy had supposed
themselves 10 he. Tho total population Of Vlc-
torta IL H179a. Allowing for tho natural In.
crease by births, tho statlstIns royeal Ut aotnal
loss Of u, ,ou during tho oleuav aul 1t Is further-
moro ontiroiy among thu uaal0 population. Thl4
stata Of aGulFs revealed by tho eol,su4 has pFo-
yokcd expressions of dtscont1nt throughout tho
colony. A correspondent at tho I4a14dan Gs'bo
sass that tho .most ohyious parto il tho faulty
aysloln Of Ian4 legislation, which ,empta pour
Man to sols!h on tho lanl. though TO nlny hny0
no caplta| mud no VxporIenoe in farm!uE Or rKraz'
ln9. After y tow years 0s miserable cxstcnca
hs diseontcnt aryos him to remove to soIas
nshos colony where tho land laws aro atlll moro
boral, IN tho hops vt hottcring big condition. 1t
IL supposed that Now South W4tos has abs9s1el
tho larger pars pf the population Which Ylotorla
ought tn hayo rctaluQd. y, ..:;t.<. r.: :,
, 1881-07-06
Thu Now York Cuatom -lEptlae.

ccrning his lnur,ley III tho Fur East, Iuu bunx
ABacd WaAt WIS tho xEeatGst dlsenmfpel 0f tic
tr'p r9rlle1 pronptly that y ssms bib rxJ,prteDss
SSx 1asx isave.lss g ws; bud to deal
With ptllror4 0fs tho cnstol- llDvee3 ilf japan.
China. Gtchn calt,a, strails sottleMents, nrit(.n
AurH!ah. Indla, Aslblt. Eyypt, 'ltulY, FEallcs,
pna EnRlaud. but ruwtoEv wps Niy baExnEo
treatment peoplp !. .arrlsluE. from ;tprelxa
count ,ies sltef At; tho Now York Cas-
!oa'A AoM9o il d!sxFaue TO tho. coun.
eNouAh. but thoy make YOU awear what your
ba4guEe contains. ant tAen they ppen md ex.
apparel IN. It,. .Just Al II thoy believed
Yua Aad pess9ree ynursott. U baexaga
y 70 bo ox9thined, then tAo requirements VI ~
l!ec4less Insult to reop!e. Tue POPULATIONS u',.
dtr Whioh tho Custom. House oltieera lu shelr
work a4cd thorough uyerbAuiIux."
, 1881-07-06

sthte Department and Hcn. Grant be tnaie Hcc..
rotary Of Var. ntalno will have 10 ~ out; that
IA certain. ltls rice at the White l1uuac IA run II
This mny be CnnkIlne's program outlined by hi.
ho.iuhnlnn. but M per cent Of the 1teruhlIcnn
purity will condemn 1t, M wlll tic Democrats
ttilIltttn,uut1r.
, 1881-07-06
TRIBUNE; BRANCH OFFICES.

Tf1r CHICAGO TRtnt:SE hns established branch
3lers for tho rPcalpt Ut subscriptions md ndvertiau-
slcnta A. fUnwA:
NEW YulsK-t&oom u Tribune building. F.T. ac-
GAhnES. Manager.
t;1.Ast;oW. ncottai,d-Alnh'a American News
Agency. II Ncnn0ld-aL
l.uSi'uN. lns,-Amcrlcan Exchnncu, tD Strand.
uESni F.uILEl1, Agunt-
WASHINGTON. u, t.-I.ljH + bt.nsL
, 1881-07-06

4 CALIFORNIA critic III the Argonaut
spcnks Of some seminary girls In IN audience
who hchrtffy laughed With tho French Rcntle-
tlcton when two questionable lines werc sung
In cotnfc operu, while the French ladtes UIushcI
boin1 thotr fms; but ho EXCUSES tho girls be-
causo probably they did not understand Frencb.
, 1881-07-06

Mn, TlIoMAa q, AoVoS, ut :tlle New York
Assay Oulac. appears froln i priutoa tntpsyIow
In tl1u New York Monday papcra to he l4ko Qul-
tcau In ono r0Apoot.-"a 4 stalware Of tda 6tal-
warts" who expects esoat thIags when GAR
nc!4 llca. It Ii stateA ho was found ro,s4ilug i
telegram announcing tho FfqsIdent slnklpg,.
"'rhls u an hour" he said, 7 WHOM political In,
trixuq and ambluon for o,lca should oeake,''
And ha tnon goes ou 10 staso in latall how It Il
TO 10 nude to cqAse."' - 1oll, Arthur Rslll 20
In. The Cabinet will undoubtedly bs changed,
and poakl'u1 uay bo placed ut ths hoad Of the
, 1881-07-06

The man who cult fAoo tlaatt ns 5fr, GnrAoItn
did Inst night when llc oheprfuity told Dr. Hiss
covcFy that WIS hold out to him, dlsraycll u.
Eruntor courage than hc did whom he rode aorpss
1toslcrHt,s Rnd tho Army OF the Cumberland.
Whom Mir. Garfield rtses from Ills couch, rs tho
Nation hopes md prays hc Will. 1t will bo Us tho
Ahrnhntu Lincoln,
, 1881-07-06

A TnourE Of wandering musicians In Parls
aosds colfoctor a.nong tho listeners, tsritl willis
ho oarracs pinto for tho 1nonoy It. ono hnud ho
las Ills left t.Rnd closed over flvo HES which are
counted whcn tho receipts are turned over II
Ohe ts gone llo Ia suspected OF having stolen
so1le OF tho 1n1iloy. ,' v: =
, 1881-07-06
POSTAGE.

Entered at hs Ieat-oNce at Chicuao, III. az Ettonl+
Clda italt+r.
For tho benefit of n,lr patrons WHO tlasfro to- scl
tas1o cpies 1T lIl 1n1itt;SE thsths1t tito na!f W.
Five herow!th tin transient ensG Ut tttstnsl:
Fartfon tfI f}1nttttc. fttr FnpH
Eelt md 1wqlvn l'aga l'nper. cent*.
e'1tcttl iAHo ctk*.
, 1881-07-06

rIlE President describes tho sensations III
his fcetr a. ,"tlRer's claws.":: lIo has suffered
more pa!n from thcse sensations than from I'LL
Qttcr4. +. = '.. .
, 1881-07-06

Mn. W1IL1AM BLACK Is saltt to llaye re-
octvad from bis EixIiah publishers s.,5oQ for hla
tatest story, "'fhat Beautiful Wretch" % :
, 1881-07-06
ADJUSTMENTS.

Ifoofey'* Fhcntrn.
Rnnfnlr street. hctwHen Cark hEd In sallo.
Cinderella Mt 9e:looi" Afternoon mud cycntnR.
, 1881-07-06

: f'rnrh ot,crn.1Iona@.
c1nrk atreet ny1'ns. nRw caurt.llousc. Engage
aant Ut Tony lastur's Troupe. Variety entar,aIn-
nent- Afternoon md escsttnS.
, 1881-07-06

TIIE most blA1ieIea9 sovereign Iii EtlTDpe-
Queen Vlctoria-lias not been FREQ from tho
tlnnger of assassination by lu,,attcs. lior'
death co,lltl protnce no change In the cstab-
llshed orttcr Of government. Slio llas bnrciy
tho Shadow ut political power. Ii hoy
alty wero abotistpA Groat britain cotlld
not bo n freer country thall 1t Is.
Yot tho Queen lias been three times
shot ut. once struck lii tho face,
once tllreatbnel with loaded aud Will, MI
unoaded pistol. Tho frat nstculpt upon the
Qucen's life was nIndo June TO. 1910. by
Edward Oxford. Il Ind Ut II. lie fred two
Blots deliberately, but missed. Ills WINS
l,i'tcll tho Same kind Of character rs
Gnltean's. 11u WINS laalf-crazy with n lung
ing for notorfcty. lie was pronounced In
sane by Jury, mud sentenced to ho confined
III n lanatic asylum during her AIajcsty's
pleasure. John Francis, son OF 4 u,anhfnIst
In Drury lnnc, fired Mt tho Queen May 80,
1st2, frOm tho very spot whore Oxford Ind
stood. 1ic WAS but 4 fow feet from tho cur
rlage, which fortunately was driving Mt (,
rapid pace, and missed his aim. lilo was con-
demael to Heath, hut Ills sentence was cot,l-
ln,lted to imprisonment for lito. The very
tlay after tlIis mitigation Of punishment
bocnnc khown, n huuclibacled boy
1lantcd Denn Matlo another attempt on tho
Qncell's ll'e. lie presented n pistol Mt her
currlage, but was not. permitted to fire 1t.
Tl.o pistol wis loaded with powder, paper
tightly ran,rictl down, anil some scraps Of n
clny pipc. lean was Imprisoned eighteen
months. An lrlsl, brIck!ayer named 11Antl-
ton fired pistol loaded only will, powtlcrn ut
her Majesty AIay ~. 1910, on Constitution
lliil,-w!,uro two previous attempts l'utl beo,l
lnatlc. Ills sentence WIS sayoll years. trn,ls-'
,Iortatioll. ltoburt 1'ata, II casl,iercd Ltcr-
temant Of hussars, struck her Majesty IN the
faca with slick May 81, 1850. Ills sentence
also WIS sevun ycars' transportation. Arthur
O'Cottnor, Il boy OF II, presented III unloatet
pistol ut tho Queen Feb. 70, 1872. lie was
whtppesl md Imprisoned fort year. l'|,omodi-
tlUti law, w,trl, authorizes whipping tu be pre-
scrlbct in The discretion Of tho Jndgu, is
thought to laaye hna tho effect OF .liscourag-
Ing attempts upon the Queell's life. Whether
there Is enough sense ili G,lIteau to lamg or
not, u'oro is certainly enough to whip, and
tile crazy part Of Him ought Mt lcast 10 be
confined In alt asylum for tito criminal insaue
for Lie remainder of Ills life.
, 1881-07-06

1Eaudfn.tM Isnrk.
Festival for thu btn1It VI tho Cleveland Orphan
tsyt,,sTi.
, 1881-07-06

sltaioly, anil long after tho sun comes otlt. It
Il ttone by tho water absorbing Heat from tho
air whlio changing jnto tho form, OF yapur.
Tho sa,nc princEpln applies to tho .lampuned
nlntttng hung N, Il, rooms If, ln.lIu,
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1881-12-26

A HOMEsICK HoRsE.-A horse raised
in Norwich, VT, but used for family
purposes in this city for several years,
was recently sold to party in Oxford,
n H. In taking him from the wagon
one evening he slipped away from his
owner and disappeared. going at high
rate of speed. A diligent search in the
morning on all roads for a circuit of
several miles failed to reveal any trace
of the animal. A dispatch was received
during the day by his former master in
this city, asking if he had made his ad-
pearance here, in reply to which the
owner was directed to inquire at Nor
wich. The horse was found there, and
the owner was told that the animal made
his appearance in the place at 8 o'clock
in the morning, after his escape from
Oxford. having in six hours crossed the
Connecticut river and travelled twenty
seven miles in the darkness, over road
he had not seen since he was three
year-old colt To make this distance in
the time mentioned he must have avoid
ed all crossroads and without delay
gone by the regular route. Who will
say that horse does not love the scenes
of his colt-days. and was it reason or in
stinct p Manchester Mirror.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1881-12-26
TWO LOVERS.

Two lovers by moss-grown spring
They leaned soft cheeks together there,
Mingled the dark and sunny hair,
And heard the wooing thrushes sing.
o, budding timel
o, loves best prime!
Two welded from the portal slept
The bells made happy carollings,
The air was soft as tanning wings,
White petals on the pathway slept.
o. pure-eyed bridei
O., tender prdeI
Two faces o'er a cradle bent
Two hands above the head were locked
These pressed each other while they rocked;
Those watched life that love had sent
o, solemn hourl
o, hidden power!
Two parents by the evening fire
The red light fell about their knees,
On heads that rose by slow degrees,
Like buds upon the lily spire.
o, patient lifel
O. tender strifei
The two still sat together there,
The red light shone about their knees;
But all the heads, by slow degrees,
Had gone and left that lonely palr
o, voyage fastl
o. vanished past!
The red light shone upon the floor,
And made the space between them wide,
They drew their chairs up side by side,
Their pale cheeks Joined, and said "Once more!"
o, memories
o, past that isl
Csnr,ne Eliot aa Ersk;sh Ballads
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1881-12-26
THE TWO GATES.

pilgrim once $50 runs an ancient tale),
Old, worn. and spent. crept down a shadowed vale
On either hand rose mountains bleak and high;
Chill was the gusty air, and dark the sky;
The path was rugged, and his feet were bare;
His faded cheek was scanned by pain and care;
His heavy eyes upon the ground were cast,
And every step seemed feebler than the last.
The valley ended where a naked rock
Rose sheer from earth to heaven, as if to mock
The pilgrim who had crept that toilsome way;
But while his dim and weary eyes essay
To find an outlet, in the mountain side
ponderous sculptured brazen door he spied.
And tottering toward it with fast-failng breath,
Above the portal read, 1.-The Gate of DEATH"
He could not stay his feet that led thereto:
1t yielded to his touch. and passing through
He came into a world all bright and fair
Blue were the heavens, and balmy was the air;
And, 10! the blood of youth was in his veins,
And he was clad in robes that held no stains
Of his long pilgrimage. Amazed, he turned:
Behold !! golden door behind him burned
In that fair sunlight aud his wondering eyes,
Now lustreful and clear as those new skies,
Free from the mlsts Of age. of care, and strife,
Above the portal read. 1.-The Gate of Life."
s. s. Coudnt in Rnrner's N1onxin
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1881-12-26
-YDEA =. PINKHAM,S
VEGETABLE COMPOUND.
Is a Positive Cure


for NIL those Painful Complaints and Weaknesses
soccmmcn to orr best female population.
It will entirely the worst form Of Female Com
plants, all ovarian troubles Inflammation and Ulccra
tion, Falling and Displacements, and the consequent
Spinal Weakness, and is particularly adapted to the
Change of Life.
1t will dissolve and expe tumors from the uterus in
an early stage of development The tendency to
cerous humors therois checked yeryspeeGy Ly its
1t removes fantness hatuency, destroys all craving
for stmulants, and relieves weakness of the stomach
1t cures Bloating, Headaches, Nervous Prostration
General Debility, Seeplessness, Depression and Ind
gestlon.
That feeling of bearing down, causing pain, weight
and backache is always permanently cured by its use
1t will at oil times and under all circumstances
harmony with the laws that govern the female system
For the Of Kidney Complaints Of either this
Compound is unsurpassed
LYDIA E. PINEIIANi'S VEGETABLE COM.
POUNDS prepared at 2S3 and 235 Western Avenue
Lynn Mass Price 81. Six bottles for S. Sent by mall
in the form of pills, also in the form of lozenges
receipt of price, 81 per box for either Mrs. Pinkham
freely answers all letters of inquiry Send for panph
let. Address above Mention this Paper.
No family should be without LYDIA Z. PINKHAM'S
LIVER PILLS. They cure constipation bliousness
and torpidity Of the liver 25 cents per box.
RS- Sold by all Druggists. "a
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1881-12-26

On very gloomy Sunday evening
last winter they were standing in front
of the window in the parlor of her home
on East Walnut Hills, watching the
snow-Aakes rapidly falling outside. He
was not up in society small talk. and
being hard up for something to say. re-
marked, as he watched the snow falling:
..This will be hard on the old mans
sheep" Never mind dear" said she,
slipping her arm around him, Il will
take care Of one of them"
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1881-12-26
Drew, WheeIoCk & Go.
COMMISSION MERCHANTS,

BrecLin Block, corner Of Broddeedy and
Esse6 ST., Laurence, Mass.
Receivers Of Butter, Cheese, Eggs, Beans. Potatoes
Hay etc, etc. Our facilities for the disposal of
Country produce are unsurpassed, our motto WILDE
IN all cases TO make prompt returns.
As TO our hnauclal standing we refer you to the
following well known gentlemen 7. w. Drew. Esq,
Barton Vermont II X. Dewey. Esq, cashier Barton
National Bank, Barton Vermont; W. Jaquith
ESD, cashier Pacific National Bank, Lawrence, Mass
NJ Burnbam Esq., WObnTn Center, Mass
VS.. DRRw, R.W. .WHRELocK
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1881-12-26

WRONG IDEA.-Many persons having gotten the
wrong idea that hops strengthening. have taken
to drinking beer and ale very freely The consequence
is they feel better for short tme but when the
tion comes they much weaker than before. Read:
er. if you value life lay aside all malt and alcoholic
beverages and put trust 10 that Temperance prep
araton of iron and vegetable tonics called Browns
Iron Btters. 1t gives real health and strength 10
every part of the body. refreshes the mind. and
stores the system to It's proper standard
Over 100000 bottles have been sold this year.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1881-12-26
where is Clarke % the doctor in


quired.
Hes down at the creek, haying."
81 will drive down and have talk
with him right away" said my friend,
making ready to leave.
"oh +! Mary! Don't you think there
is any other way ?"
The poor woman had broken down
completely now, and the doctor held her
for moment in her strong arms and
caressed her fondly.
mo other way. sis" she replied "but
we will do the best we can. There's no
telling what a good rest and careful
nursing may do for your poor tired body,
my DEAR
81 was going to take you to some
other places the doctor remarked as
we drove away, "but it would have been
the same old story work, work. work,
without rest or change from years end
to years end. My mother killed her.
self by her attempts to get ahead of
time. Two sisters have travelled the
same road that Anna has started on, one
of them absolutely dropping dead in
her kitchen in the midst of her work.
This is the kind of thing could not
endure to see 60 on. knew it was all
wrong as soon as l knew anything. and
when became old enough to have a
voice in my own education l persisted
in taking different course. My sister
Anna has tried SO hard to get ahead of
time and make things lap over that she
has abused and probably killed herself,
besides criminally neglecting and mis-
managing her children. | don't sup
pose she has averaged over five hours
sleep out of the twenty-four during the
last five years, and think of that amount
of rest for woman whose brain and
muscle are forever in use Every year l
come up here and find things going
from bad to worse among my relatives
and most of my friends, and the horri-
BILE part of it is that nothing one can
say or do will ever have the slightest
effect
Don't you think your very natural
anxiety about your sister may have col
ored your diagnosis little ?'' inquir-
ed.
"Not in the least" my companion
answered. "Anna's pulse was one hun
dred and twelve. The respiration was
labOred and ominously frequent. There
is no mistaking such signs
''How could she keep at work with
such a pulse as that? ?' asked.
by the exercise of will power" said
the doctor. "In our family will power
is direct inheritance If it could only
have been put to good use how much
might have been accomplished My
dear. this will power eats salt pork when
good beef and the most nutritious food
are absolute necessities. 1t makes all
its cream into butter that the cash may
LAP over 1t drinks skim milk, and
works nineteen hours out of twenty
four"
Soon after this the doctor dropped me
at my boarding house.
Now you know all about it," she re-
marked in parting. "and if any one ever
asks you why Mary Stedman did not re.
main among her relatives you can say
that she declined to live among crimi.
mails and suicides"
Five months after the above incident
sister Anna died. and one year from
that date the widower married again
The second wife is duplicate of the
first. working night and day and "laying
up" for future which it is more than
likely she never will enjoy.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1881-12-26
IS. S. Comant. in Hdrper's Magazine.

What is political economy? Running
ON the same ticket with rich man who
will pull you through.
1t is now believed that the Star-route
men will let the government down easy,
and not sue for damages.
A Nevada school teacher died the other
day, and the local papers announced it
under the head, 'Ioss of whaler."
'.There will be family jargon when
this is discovered, as the boy said when
he knocked the preserves off the shelf
No man was ever elected president
who was born in the city. And yet, de-
spite this fact, boys continue to be born
in cities.
Rhode Island is going to build statue
of Burnside. They want something to
hold the state down should good wind
storm spring up.
A sad truth: half of our forebodings
about our neighbors are but our own
wishes, which we are ashamed to utter
in any other form.
The following typographical error
shows the vast Importance of comma.
At banquet this toast was given: 'sWo-
man-without her man, is brute"
A young lady in Kanas, while chewing
gum recently, was struck with paralysis
in the jaw and rendered speechless. She
immediatly had four proposals on the
spot.
care you feeling very ill?" asked the
physician; t'let me see your tongue
please" ''It's no use, doctor, replyed the
patient; &C no tongue can tell how bad J
feel"
Synopsized opinion by the court
''These defendants are dismissed. Tht
court finds they stole large amount
enough to entitle to them to respect
Call the next case"
Mrs. Partington went recently to /;
chemists for some more ''venom extin
guisher" She said the cockroaches zen
umerated SO fast" that she was compelled
to ''get somethig to asperse Them
The other evening gentleman's but
! ton caught hold of the fringe on lady's
shawl. 'T'm attached to YOU said the
gentleman, laughing, while he was indus
triously trying to get loose s'The at
tachment is mutual" was the good-natur
ed reply.
''Now," said the teacher of primary
class to one of his pupils, to whom he
was trying to impart knowledge of di
vision, but with little success, s'if you
had pie, and l should ask you for {
quarter of it, and you should give me
what I wanted, how much would you
have left?" 81 would't have any left p
quickly responded the little girl.
A young gentleman who is very partic
ular about the getting up of his liner
wrote a note TO his laundress, and at the
same time sent one to the object of his
affections. Unfortunately he put the
wrong address on the envelopes anC
posted them. The woman was puzzled
but not in the least offended; but whe1
the lady read: ''If you rumple up my
shirt bosoms and drag the button off tn,
collar any more, as you did last time,
shall have to go somewhere else, she cri
ed all the evening and declared she woult
never speak to him again.
s'WORKING WONDERS. "A physician
who is using Compound Oxygen in hi
practice, says: 'sYour treatment is work
ing wonders. l only wish that / ha,
known its value before. / am receiyin.
| marked success in the following diseases