The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1881-01-07
HERE AND THERE.

Aue recent flsil OF Ion cameron 10
Mentor has impaired new impetus to
The yawPs of the treaty idiots
John Kelly is out of Office for the first
Time IN twenty five years, and Dir. Tilden
is now able 20 elevate victuaIs To his
mouth with liIs paralyzed arm.
We regard the remarkable increase of
in this country as partially
explained by the fact that Chicago now
issues 4. the rate of 6,5SS marriage IL
censes year. The statistics from Kan
sas City are awaited with interest.
The day for satirical illusions to the
literary culture of the west is manifestly
past. Several of our exchanges from the
frontier counties contain elaborate Obit-
uary notices of "Mr. George Eliot, the
celebrated writer on English Hus
bandry."
Some party who has genius for fg
ureScould lay the Kansas public under
contribution by publishing an authentic
statement showing the exact proportion
of the voting population of our common
wealth who are aspiring TO the Office of
state printer.
Evidences are multiplying in the
vicinity o. Caldwell, that the fool-killer
has had very slack year in Kansas
Had he contributed little mere gener-
ously TO the neurology of 1880, the Okla
homa boom would not now be manifest
ing such decided symptoms of vigor-
Over $500 were distributed to the in
digent citizens of Topeka on New Years
morning. A philanthropic public will
rejoice to see such gratifying evidences
of benevolence in city where at least
every third man which one meets is
nearly or remotely associated with the
profession of journalism.
An exchange startles the public with
the information that the match-makers
of The United States, following the ex-
ample of the trunk railroads have form
ed a pool. Unsophisticated young men
who are unacquainted with the insidi-
Gus wiles of the sex should take notice
and govern themselves accordingly.
The great national bear garden opened
at Washington the 9Th. If Sparks and
Weaver are to be allowed in the ring,
and the attractions of the early part of
the session are to be repeated, we sug
gest that an admittance not to exceed
the conventional circus rates. be charged
for seats in the gallery ofthe House.
The Champion says that Wichita is
being torn up by preacher named Shell
ton, who is employing Il patent kind of
religion with highly gratifying results.
If he succeeds in evangelizing the town,
the resident editors included, we hope
for the cause of morality, that he won't
protect his methods against infringe
ment.
Mr.. Reuben Springer, of Cincinnati
INDUCED in Christmas gifts of unusual
size; he gave United States bond for q
thousand dollars to each of eight Chart
able institutions in that city; each Of
the faithful servants in his household
also received $1,000. II is needless to
add that Mrs. Springer's neighbors find
it very uphill business to coax away hel
hired girls.
The Utah Gentiles, who have only one
wife apiece are jealous of their more ux
orious Mormon brethren, while the
much married polygamsts heartily de
test the Gentiles who never incur the
awful responsibility of more than ont
mother-in-law Mt n time. But if oul
powers of observation serve us, we re
gard it perfectly safe to assume that thu
rancor OF the Mormons overreaches BY
very respectable margin, the envy o.
| the Gentilcs.
Adam Gunther, German brewer o
Paoia, killed himself on the evening o
Tie 31st ultimo, by shooting a hole ii
his head, the cause of the suicide bein;
attributed to depression caused by III
prospective closing of his establishment
by reason of the enforcement of the pro
hibitory amendment. The theory of in
sanity is effectually exploded, in view o
the fact that the deceased preferred Il
run the chances of the selEmurderer il
the future world rather than Hive AM
face the alternatives of emigrating t
Missouri or Texas.
A pair of phenomenally tender lover
recently suicided at Coffeyville, thi
state, by taking strychnine, because thei
prospective nuptials had been postpone
Tor week or two beyond the date agree
upon by them for their marriage. 1t i
confessedly a melancholy ciTcumstanc
for the intended bridesmaids and invites
guests, but such consuming affection a
theirs was too beautiful to last and,
was probably better that it vanquisSe,
the king of terrors than to have burne'
on a few fleeting months and then capitU
lated to the omnipotent sway of tn
| rolling-pin and broom-stick.
The announcement that the annua
income Of James Gordon Bennett, @
the New York Herald is $4,000
per annum, not only takes ava
the breath of the average Kansas ed
itOr, but has a tendency to sugges
gloomy reflections on the tavorltism o
fortune and the injustice of fate. 1t
true that 100000 is somewhat in exces
of the yearly proceeds of journals a
they run throughout the state, but
must not be forgotten that exalted priv
ileges entail great responsibilities, an
Mr.. Bennett is probably the only news
paper man in the country who is expect
pected to get on $4,000 drunk at leas
once every three weeks for the delects
tion of the reading public upon who's
patronage he is so largely dependent.
Chicago Tribune: One of the mos
urgent reforms needed in the America
system of government is tn
improvement of congressional pre-
cedure. Decorum will only follow
strictly defined and well-regulateC
methods for the consideration of publ
business. If some of the Democrat
who have recently endeavored to max
themselves conspicuous by their neI
born zeal for civil service reform (sinc
their party was defeated in the recen
election) had turned their attention {
properly directed efforts for reducin
congressional chaos TO an intelligen
system they might have done the coun
try vastly more service. The contradiC
tions, complications and frictions of cor
gressional procedure must be largely