The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1881-06-22
WAITS.

60 to the ant, thou sluggard" don't
seem to be needed in any way by the
sluggard, who generally goes to his
uncle.
The orator who wanted to have a
window put in his bosom, has since had
a pane in his stomach, and it nearly
killed him.
What is the difference between a
house-painter and a justice of the
peaceP One hangs papers, and the
other executes them.
Last year 48O, 900, 900 cigarettes were
smoked in this country. There was a
corresponding falling Off in the sale of
nursing-bottles.
They are laughing at a travelling
Englishman, who complained. in SYRIA
cuse, 81 can't get me luggage, for /
lost me brasses, you knowr
Any man who has had his nose fiat
tened or his thumb driven up to his ell
bow can 6atter himself that he has
helped to open the baseball season.
The Saltwater Lumberman believes
that a boy gets more experience than
comfort out of his first cigar. He gen.
orally remembers that sck-ar.
Perpetual motion is perhaps impossi-
BILE to obtain, but you can approximate
it by putting boy on a chair, at fun
eral. and telling him to sit still.
1t is said that one drop of alkaloid
found in tobacco-smoke will kill frog.
How Is it, then, that smoking-cars
don't kill the frogs on the railroads?
An easy-going German, lately mar.
ried, says: I'D vas yoost so easy as a
needle Good walk oud nit camers eve
as to get der behindt-vord nit vom-
ans"
mo, l thank you; never use one.
don't chew" said Jones, TO the deacon
with the contribution-box. Jones thinks
they are getting awfully polite in that
church.
A fellow who was arrested the other
day, desired the Judge to permit him TO
issue bonds to run twenty years. The
judge. however, concluded to make o
special deposit of the principal.
If Joseph's coat of many colors was
an overcoat, we can easily account for
his losing it so quickly, 1t is harder to
keep an overcoat on the back of
small boy than to grow hair on bald
head.
A girl in New Mexico had four differ
ent suitors. One day she killed pan.
Their in fair fight, and the next thing
she knew she was beauless. No man
wanted q wife with as much grit as
that.
1t is a very easy matter for person
to be in two places at the same time,
even though those places be thousands
of miles apart. One frequently hears
of a man being in strange country,
and home, sick,
An enterprising washerwoman shows
more energy than most business men.
While the latter have full line of
goods only once or twice in the year,
the former has full line every Mon.
day morning.
An attempt of Duluth young lady
to revive the wearing of the old style
chignon was total failure. She had
hardly gone two blocks before she was
followed by crowd Of young natural.
lists wanting to know where she had
got that wasps nest.
An English miss was Dragging of the
good time she had in this country
"Oh, l do admire the freedom of Amer
lean institutions" sho exclaimed, en-.
Enthusiastically. 81 had at least dozen
beaux, and they all Rugged me-"
A petulant old lady having refused
sutton to her neice, he expostulated with
her, and requested her plainly to COM
municate her reasons. al see the vii
liam in your face" said she. THAT is
personal reflection, madam" an.
swered the lover.
Josh Billings thinks it is better to DO
unknown than to have pedigree that
is too much for us; just so II is better
for peacock to be bobtailed than to have
q tail too big to spread.