The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1881-02-03
ALL SORTS.

Gas companies are much mere apt to
make light Of heavy bill than of dark
night SyrGcuse sStandGTa.
The um brella has an unhappy life of it
Ii 10 made up of putting up or shutting
up.-Philadecphia Bulletin.
Barker says that a good dinner under
the vest is worth dozen Tod bless our
home" notices in the dining room Boo
ton Globe.
Sitting Bull has the proud satisfaction
OF counting the entire United States army
among his most devoted followers Boston
Transcript.
Somebody has wicke dly said that Bos
tonions don't care for an orchsstra as long
a. German hands ard hand organs come
to their very door.
The time has arrived when al invita-
ton to a wedding is equivalent 10 lending
the e DOM $40 and feeling thankful that
he didn't ask for more.-Detroit Free
Press
The German language is very peculiar
in It's construction Take, for Instance.
the work horse which in German lie
neuter gender This no doubt will be
neuter many of our readers. - Idscco6
Strauss.
A Bronson Alcotte calls Emerson para
grapher If Mr.. Emerson IS not possessed
of extraordinary self control he will feel
so tickIed that he will 90 out and turn
hapdsprines 90 the bare floor when he
hears that Boston Post.
The report that the new Secretary OF
the NAVY has issued orders to have the
anchors of all vessels encased in water.
proof sacks before they are thrown over.
board, to proven: them from rusting. is a
poIitical r0orhack, Of course. Norristoson
Herald.
Denver has vocalist who sings his
own songs and composes one on the stage
in the presence of the audience IF this
man could End few other people AS tai
leuted as himself he might go on the road
with an iupromptu opera show.-Nea0
Orleans Pcayune
Aftor four months OF a severe winter
newspaper editors will be apt 10 treat the
spring poets with a greater amount of
respect than usual will at least read q
few times If their contributions before
con.ixniEg ihaE TO the waste basket
Norrjsto,oa Herald
Mrs. John JACOB Astor expeads SIS 900
ia charity every year. This is commend
able IN the lady, and she should have due
credit for her noble generosity. 1t is as
much as though a womsn having au
Income of $4,000 year should expend
s25 in charitable works. indianapolis
Journal.
Henry Tell, an eccentric man, who has
been for four years past at Guthrie. Ind,
and was supposed to be deaf aud dumb,
has suddenly become quite the reverse.
he aonfesses that his affection were
assumed for certain purpose. having
like other people.
0ne OF our citisens attempted to point
out to another the value of paying debt,
and was very much surprised to discover
that be had besn Knocked down and
stamped on, He has now abandoned
auauce, snd is now looking for something
that will take white street mud out of a
new coat Daabury Neaos.
Il don't believe il these secret So
cieties." said one lady to another That's
very singular" replied the other. ~ our
husband is q Forester, knight of Pythi-
as and a Knight Of Honor, and you will
have ct least $4,000 when ne dies"
But what good does all that do me"
was the fearful response, when he dies ?"
Aud tie poor creature burst into tears.
Philadelphia clergymen complain that
they are not paid enough for performing
the marriage ceremony. They would
probably be paid more literally if they
did their work on business principles,
allowing return Of goods within thirty
days If not proving to be as represented,
and the money refunded. Tran
script.