The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1881-07-12
FLEA BITES.

| ~z|
4 red headed girl in Nebraska,
To her beau said, Il would ask YOU,
II the Lord knows
When you'll PROPOSE"
And he lit out for Alaska.
There vas young man in this city,
Who had no girl, what . pity
40 he went To Boston
And there he caught On
To damsel who sings him this ditty:-
q, the pleasant Boston dip,
| Dreamy dip!
As through melodeOus measures merry
men and nsaidens skip;
With their graceful Eenu6ectionS,
How they come and 70 in sections.
How calm in platoOns they salaam to the
tunes,
More quiet than the Irish vigadoons.
Now they sway and slide and slip
JOness-, Mulligsns, IL Ver~s,
And the glory ii eScutcheon and III station
disappears,
As they skip, skip. skip, skip,
Meath the terror aud the tremor Of the
shaking chandelier,
As they trip, trip, trip, trip, trip,
| To the music Of the BHstOn-0stOn dip
sam. Obermayer shook hands with
old friends in this city on the jth.-JeHer-
son City Tribune.
Well, who did you expect him to shake
hands with! Did YOU think be would
sneak around aud shake With all the COL
ord cooks or get out and celebrate with
the boys down in your wal'ow,
A gentleman who went trout fishing
in Pennsylvania was surrounded bv swai-
lows. Three times, when he threw his
line, the birds caught his 6y.-Ex.
When any Of our boys go out on Fla,
creek they are surrounded by swallowe,
but instead Of the swallows getting the
flies the boys get all the swallows-out Ut
jug.
"A young lady Of Holyoke, Mass,
where there are five women 10 one man,
has come forward as missionary u bach
elors, and Offers To lead a galaxy Of 100
maidcns out west.-Ex.
Bring an your maidens. We bachelors are
! waiting for EN-. But say, sis, il YOU can
get them married il will IL better for their
reputation than 10 bring them to the bach
elOrs out here.
jay Gould works seven days . week
and fifty-twO week. q wear. Small and
delicate in figure, he tolls with tremen,lou.
energy. He carries fifty millions ON his
back.-Ex.
Blue ointment sill kill 'em. We never
had them that had, hut ii Jaw will Law in
barrel or 10 Of ointment he can get rid
If the pesky things in week ar two
Brazil bought ,3.sl. 600 pounds Of soap
from the United States last year.-Ex.
The Government had bctter stop this
RECKLESS expectation and send about that
amount to Jeflenson City. The girls want
10 wash their feet next fall.
-"Toeing the golden Scratch" is the
way Chicago journalist rciers Ia death.
|-Ex.
And Scratching the golden tow" is the
way S~sialia husband puts il when he
yanks his wife around by her waller hair.
Perhaps there is M sadder sight than
"a see a maiden lady If forty or thcrc-
al0uts sneak of BY herself ior the vurye.-c
Of rsrking An empty cradle-Ex.
Not half 80 bad a. 10 see her wausler-
ing of To find the cradle, carrying young
one that has no pa To speak ii.
The name Maria is 50 popular in
Ottumxa. that when 4 cat climbs hack
fenre in 4 we'll populated neighborhooi
and plainiively v"ralizeS, Maria txen-
" female heads are thrust out, wildly
answering, as that Won. Charleyy"-Ex.
YeS, and twenty husbands who claim the
f..u. Ill & al. n
with s-li-c"ker and demand what the
intentions Of Charley'> visits arr.
~ can't hold this baby any longer
called out the Young husband and father.
''it's getting too heavy. "Pshaw, Ed
wari," replied mufiied voice irUm the
other room. "You used 10 hold me for
hours and nevcromPlain, and baby j. bu,
but afcathcr compared to what was."-
Exchange.
True. but holding the gal was a leg
itimate business, and. besides, there WAS no
Decs-s<ity II changing pants like ih~rr j,
after naming the baby.
It's strange what prcnliaritieS creep
into the English language. Half <olssi
trousrrs arr now called revised esl:tions.-t
Exchange.
There l. another peculiar kind III cloth |
ing worn denominaissi picnic BY thoe |
Who know.
The man whose wife was sque~xcd by |
gious prs~s.-Ex.
This has NO reference to Beecher. II |
wasn't squeezing that got him into trouble. |
~"SPose Id 60 in heah and git par oh |
pants ON time and would fail To paw
~ dem, would il be a breeches Oh
promise ~ asked S~dalia boot black IL
Ginger, the king Of the '>hiue brigade, " |
the other day. "Pard, its OWN To how ye
drawers 'em out" was Ginger's meek reply.
Ginger should b. sent to Congr~>
When respondent Philadelphia wife
attempted to escape the troubles OF this
world by drinking quart Of coal oil, her
husband forced her to swallow a
yard Of lamp wick, and nov Uses her of
nights to read by.-Ex
Pshaw, there Is 4 man on Lamir,e street
in this place, who utilities his wife tn mad
BY, and don't have the lamp wick attach
ment. lie reads by the light Of her
hair.
luaintance by continually narrowing up
ais iceling~.-Ex.
No mower need be said. You will reap
r reward in heaven.
A lecturer was explaining TO little
.iri how lobster cast his shell when he
,sd OutgrOwn il. Said he: "What do Won
10 when you have outgrown your clothes!
lou cast them aside, do you mott" ''Oh,
NJ, We let out the tuckx".Ex.
They don't all let down the tucks. We
aw one Of the tony girls on the street last
light, and she tuck her dress mp.
Our binder, Mr.. Smith, is happy-an-
'ther heir At his house. girl.@JehersonI
,ity Journal.
There are not ~ many hairs at our .
boarding house "a there were yesterday.
H. Mt evrc <,s,s .,f the hssr,,sss ,,>A sh--