Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1881-04-07
Bagshot's Assistant.

paper called. tne O7le07', up III Ouo,
dunk. The Colonel was called away
to New York on business, leaving the
! U5eion in the hands of an assistant
who ha,fSbeen in his employ some lit
tie time. 1870; ii
Now, the Colonel knew th t the
said assistant had the cheek Of q
brass statue and the audacity of a
New England ay-both indispensable
attributes to the newspaper man; but,
still, after being in the city about a
week, he began to grow uneasy, and
tclegraphed to Chodunk, "How's
things"
Back came the answer from the
Union's pro ten. editor: !" Bully !
Circulation OF the old things gone
up thousand. Been getting up a
red hot paper, and there s. gang s9'9 out +
side that are weeping because they
cant hoist the shingles off the roof
and knock the whole concern to
thunder. Stay away as long asiyou
like" 3e5a ssa'. :
Bagshot' didn't waste moment af-
ter receiving this encouraging dis:
patch. He started home in the first
train, antlsreached iGhodunk before
night. The first man that struck
him was the ticket agent.
Look here, Colonel Z he cried ex-
Pcitedly "Ive:a .darned s1lood gso1lod notion
to punch your head, yeuabfazsn-fac-
ed old 7liarT ~
"Wby?" asked Bagshot. sls
Read that !' and the ticket agent
showed crumpled-. Union into his
hand. EgG
There was paragraph as follows:
RAILROAD News The handy
legged idiot who robs the railroad
company at this village haspurchaa.
ed new pocket.knife.- More knock:
in down frotn7the cash7d drawer"
Bagshot bit his lips.
"Bill," said he, g that's calumny,
anil I'll see it righted in our next.
It's my cussed assistants work.
81 don't cara whose work it4isss
growled the agent "but fit amt
contradicted. somebody's got to die
that's all /,
Bagshot didn't reply, but sailed
down the street to the Union office.
lie had not gone half a block before
he collidel with Deacon Marsh.
The Deacon seized hlm by the
shoulder and exclaimed
"What did you mean, Bagahot, by
i inserting that scandalonsly untrue
item about me ?
"Didu't insert amy item," replied
the Colonel.
Don't sneak out of it in that way.
You know you did. Why, lust cut
it out of the Union. Listen
"RELIGIors -INrELL1GENcE.-The
whited sepulchre, Deacon Marsh, was
noticed last Sunday night trying TO
open the coal-hole in front Of his res
idence with lis nisht-key. The
Deacon was as full as goat, and
couldn't tell moonshine from green
cheese. F" '.-
"Now, that nice, isn't it, saying
that 1 was drunk Sunday night, when
l went to, bed at 7 with a ragl 6
.toothache p .-a
.'It's that reckless fool whom l left
in charge groaned the Colonel. "1'll
make it all right, Marsh" and Bag
shot scurried on again, only to be
confronted by Major Biiln.
Colonel" uttered B!:m in his
deepest voice, "this is villainous It's
my intention, sir, to call out and
shoot you through the heart. What
the deuce do you mean by publishing 6
this notein the Union :" ae'e7''s>
MILITARY JorrtNGs.-Major Bhn,
the tattered old beggar who hid in
an oyster barrel during the battle Of
, Bull Run, wearsa wig.,IIe ought to be
!. shot in the back with a baked apple
II can't help it, Blim," said Bag
shot, wiping his forehead. Its al
owing to that young devil in the Ct
fee. He has made red-hot paper
= Just wait, Major, and I'll fix things.
| Hardly had he done so before
{ young Cooley appeared. =.
Col. Bagshot,' announced he
"you are lying scoundrel This il
a nice thing to put in your black
guard sheet about young LADY,
"soc1ETY IrEMs.-Miss Cooley, tn
old girl on South street, waltSe
around in patent hustle in the hop
of catching fellow; But she cant
Not even if she lays paint on twic
n as thick as she does now"
Il But. Bagshot didn't stop TO hear il
e He flew across the square, into tn
e Union office like flash. .A:.s ,ie'
70 No one was there. That able as
'e sistant editor, warned by a friend al
1T known, had busted forever. Lyln
'e on the desk was Union, folded 6
If that this notice caught Bagshot
le eye:
IN "L1rEnARY MEMs.-The baldheat