davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-04-28
Our Strap 8ook.
ROMEO AND JULIET.
HorcIcAuuTEp Br JOE HAesrocx.

1t in ancient Italy, a deadly hatred grew
B-t~esn old Caleb Capulet and Mos. Montague
Now. Moses had an eaiy son. little dapper bean
The pet Of all the pretty girls; BIS Young Romeo
And Caleb owned fernale gi just home from boarding
Miss Juliet Christian nsme-for short they called
her julie.
To bring the lady out he gave ball at his pantution
An thiiher went young Romeo without invitation.
One nsman 10 the host began growl and pout
And watched an Opportunity to put the fellow out
But Caleb saw the ganr and said. Wow cousin don't be
Behave Yourself leave the the boa. r.
And Romeo he fen in love with Juliet instanter.
Now, lest their dads should spoil the fun, but little time
Away TO Squire Lawrence sped and secretly married
Oh cruel fsie that day the % met Tybat in the square:
And halt, being very drink. at Romeo did swear.
Then k"neo his weapon drew. knife Of seven badesJ
Aud made gap in Thby rbs that sent him To the shades
The came he took 10 hight down alley. street
The Charles ran oerook their man, and took him fore
Then spake worthy land did frown):
Young man you have TO lose your head else vamose
He chose last and if, hi. bride in solitude to pine
All me! said -- our honeymoon Is nothing bat
And Then to make the wor.e her father did
By saying she mnst give her hand noble County Paris
his sutton Is gotly yonth he comes this day to
She went to Squire cell know what must be
done:
The Squire babe her go bed and take some laudanum
Twill make You -eep and seem as dead thus canst thou
AM hunbuEgtt man Your pa VIII be-a blest one Romeo
She drank she slept grew and cold they buried her
next day;
That she'd piped out her lord got word farof
Quoh he 'Oflfe I've had enough I'll hire Bufkins mule
Lay in pint Of balfsce and lie night with julie"
Then rude him 70 the sepulehre mong dead folks bats and
eraePers,
And swallowed down the burning dose when Juliet
her peppers.
Are ayel Or ist your ghost Speak quick before
Igo:"
ALIVE she cried and kicking too; thou my Romeo r.
1t il your Romeo my faded little blossom:
on Juliet Is i possible that you were acting lossum r
Il was indeed now, lets home pas spite will have
alaied;
What ais that staggcr SOL Are intoxicated
No duck took stuff that caused little ut
lie struggled hard TO tell her but couldn't he quit
In shorter time than takes lamb vag his tail jump
Poor Romeo stiff and pale any whiewashsd Inmp.
Then Juliet seized that awful knife and her
H.
Let ont most terrific yell fell down. and kicked the
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-04-28
Mr.. Evarts' Joke.

Secretary Blaine is reported to have recently
said that il would be the policy of the admins
tration not to keep any in the foreign service
who has already been there eight years. Curl
ously enough this declaration was made in res
ponse TO a delegation from North Carolina, who
were insisting that William p. Mangum, Consul
at Nayasaka Japan should be removed.
Mr. Evarts, who was present in the room, list
ened to the efforts of these gentlemen, and ap-
proved Secretary Blaine's policy, when the fol-
lowing colloquy is said TO have occurred:
Eyarts-Tm a civil service reformer; but then,
If you really intend TO inangurate this new poll
cy, would advise you to begin somewhere else.
Don't disturb Mangum.
sfWbygr
'1Well it would be"
"Be what! Hasn't he been there long time r.
81 sec nothing to prevent his removal"
"But, then"
swell, then, whatr
''Why, he's dead"
'fDeadr'
ayes, dead as Julius Caesar. He died eight or
nine months ago."
The North Carolina delegation retired. CLioa-
90 TribaHe.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-04-28
alseful aud Curious.



Hints on the Preservation Of the Piano-Forte.
The Piano should ALWAYS be closed when not
in use in order 10 prevent the collection of DUST
pins, Sc, on the sound-board, and also to pre-
serve the strings from the i'll effects of sudden
changes of Temperature.
As cloth is extensively used in a piano, moth
must be kept out by Jumps of eamphor, wrapped
in cloth to prevent evaporation, placed in the
inside corners.
Nothing iuiures n piano so much extreme
heat whether arisine from A bright fire in front
of n or. what i stil worse, the hot air from the
furnaces in sueh general use Few pianos can
resist the injurious action Of the latter.
Care sho1ld be taksn to prevent moisture of
any kind getting between the keys, rs it will
canse them 10 stick
Any hard substance placed OH piano will
often cause Earring noise, and if the top is I'M
protected by a covering il is liable to rattle and
lar also
These various annoyances-the result of care
lesspess and isporancr-are often attributed to
inferior tuning or defective make, when neither
are in fault.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-04-28
Five Cant Cipars-

The cha;:.na of the Committee on Manufac-
turss and Machinery Of the Lime Kiln club said
that his committee had thoroughly investigated
the complaint made by several State Senators
that the fve-cent cigars sold in this State were
delecterious TO the health of smokers. They had
purchased dozen different grades and made a
close inspection of each. They had discovered
the presence of tobacco, borse-radish leaves, old
cotton CLOTH wooden toOth-picks, old hat wire,
strand of rope, and several other articles Of i'm
port and export, but medical men were divided
as to whether these substances were injurious to
the system. One eminent physician had known
of a case of consumption being cured by the pa
tient chewing of a clothes-line. Another said
that the smoke of an old felt hat was a sure cure
for the asthma. Another believed that the pres
of scrap iron in a cigar was beneficial to the
liver. Other medical gentlemen Of high stand
ing emphatically condemned the practice of in
Producing foreign substances into cigars, and the
committee, finding itself between two fires,
would lie content with advising cigar-makers to
substitute cornhusks in the place Of tobacco, just
for change
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-04-28

THE CARE OF HESs.-Hens like to be secluded
when they lay and set: hence nests sheltered
from the vulgar gaze will be prepared. The nest
should not be so formed that the hen must Jump
into it, since this sometimes shakes the eggs 81
violently as to break them. box with the bot
tom and one side out will form a snug nest, if put
next a wall, and kept well supplied with fresh
straw chopped in short lengths. If rats abound,
raise the nest from the floor. Wire basket nests
are excellent. If hung on the walls of the house,
a board should he fixed TO the wall, near the
basket, so that the hen can get quietly into the
nest without jumping in. For nest making. such
moss is good, also oat or wheat straw Barley
straw or hay are apt TO produce vermin. Change
the material of which the nests are made often.
Hens appreciate cleanliness. Do not, however.
change the position of the nest, as it disturbs
laying hens, and they may retaliate by laying no
egg for day or two.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-04-28

CURE FOR CoRNs.-Almost everybody is troub-
led with them; all who have them wish TO get rid
ofthen; few however, succeed in doing What
is the reason of thisi Probably because simple
remedy-one that seems TO be reasonabe-is
not enough, for most piople. They want some
thing mysterious; something for which they will
have TO pay dollars, where they should only pay
cents. Well, 10 such as will try it, we will in
sure a cure. Cut your cOrns carefully. until yon
have got all the skin TO be pretty thin: then
with the end of your fingers, rub npon the part
sweet OIL If you prefer it, you may take
piece of linen cloth, saturate that, and apply
it to the com-this at night. Do the same
thing in the morning; and 50 continue to apply
the oil, night and morning, and it will not he
long before you will find all traces of these
troublesome excrescences have been removed.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-04-28

A CURE FOR GRAVEL AND CASCER-The for
mer am not well posted in, but the latter am.
Fonr different eases have been permanently cured
by the following prescription: A pure article of
white yitriol; pulverized fine; put on the cancer
about the thickness of a knife-blade, renewed
every two hours. 1t may, perhaps, take from six
TO ten days TO kill il. Whenever it is thorough
~ killed you can take the point of a needle and
lift il ont, but so long you find root holding,
apply the yitriol to it until it is killed. Spread
the vitriol a thick linen cloth, or buckskin
or other soft leather.
Salve to heal-Melt equal parts of beeswax,
tallow, and resin. When partly cool, add little
vcrdigris, enough to tun it green; wash and
dress two or three times day. My brother-in-
law performed these cures, and great many
Others in Ohio. He gave me recipe. know of
but one man besides myself that knows anything
abont this receipt. 1 think this is worthy Of
keeping. MADISON BRoYLEs.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-04-28
TIle Fun Of the Ching.
MINORITY RULE.
n Hin,s Speech in the senat,


Poll down the flag from off the dome
That tells that Congress il in session;
Wed better fnrl IL. and 90 home.
And stay there-that Is my iinprssion-
Unless Republicans will yield.
And let our party boss the SriIair.
Oar blood has sealed ON many field
Our fondne-s far the sacred tenc;-
Which is that the minority
Should govern the majority,
For that 5 tbs way"
S0gtLera S,natons iaferTHptiag-Yes that the way,
JEFF Davis always used to say"
The ssifresfTaint and humble mH-.i
Our form Of government imposes.
We lua;he them; and we hate the rude
And vulgar mode Of counting noses
The side we ne on Is wrOng-
The other never right; the fact Is,
We're born TO rule, and all along,
This Theory we've tTird 10 Practice
That any fair majority
Should yield 10 the minority,
For that's the way"
Deaoerahe SesGtors iHterIptiS5-"Yes that's the
JET Davis always used to say"
''By crushing out 4 dangerous fpe
We try % institutions;
Bal when thus our virtue show.
Were charged with lighting revolutions
They say the deadlock iniur-s trade,
And points the ieer Of Europeans;
But e would let the laws be made,
II Radicals would yield TO 'unz.
We hold that the minority
Should govern the majority,
For that's the way"
Sesdtors-1Oth sdes-'-Yes that the way,
JEFF Davis always used to say"
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-04-28
A LOCK OF HAIR.
ny ALICE CART.

Three times the zephyrs whisper.
And the soft sunlit showera,
Have called up frum their slumber
The early Spring time flowers:
Three times the Summer wild-birds
Have built among the trees,
And gone. with the dull Autumn,
Thrce times zcrus- the seas
Since this bright lock was severed,
In the hopelrssness Of bliss;
D, there's a world Of eloquence
In simple things like this.
What q tumult Of strange feelings
Ii wakes within my brain:
Half joyous and half sorrowful-
Half rapture, halfof pain.
One moment. am dreaming
Loves broken chain il whole,
And echoes Of lost music
Are trembling in my soul;
Another, and Tn sitting
Where the lights Of memory burn,
And thinking Of the Summer-times
That never can return.
Oft, in the solemn watches
Of the long and weary night,
No link beside has bound me
To the morning and the light.
'Tis strange my heart will vibrste
From giadness To despair.
. a = -
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-04-28
IL BEN PERDUTo.

Do YOU remember where We met,
Far in the shady lanei
Do You remember how you kissed,
And kissed you again
Oh. the green grass and lavender,
The tree and the Summer rain!
DO you remember how We sat,
Hid in the ripening grain
The burning blush. the quiyeffns breath.
Loves rapture and its paint
Oh, the green grass aud Lavender,
And the tree and the Summer rain!
DO you remember how We laughed
At Love. and called il vain
We thought, in youth. that sweet amOurs
Were plenty on life's plain!
Oh. the green grass and lavender,
And the tree and the Summer rain!
Do you remember how. through years,
Those memories ro>e with pain,
Sweet, keen regrets for wasted joys
Passed islands in the main
Alas, the golden hours We lost
They never come again!
oh, the green grass and lavender,
And the tree and the Summer rain!
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-04-28
WELCOME HONE
III GEORGE p. Nokzis.

Ny Mary comes lit Is the hour
She promised to be here:
Taught by loves strange. mysterious power
I know that she IL near
I hear the melody she sings
Beneath our happy dome,
And now the woodland eheeriy rings
With Aary's welcome homo
Ny M.ry's voice ~ hear Il thrill
In rapture On the gale.
As she comes gliding down the hill.
To meet me In the vale.
In al thu wsrld. On land OF sea,
WHISPER chance TO roam,
No urnic II % dear 70 ne,
A. Nays weiccDc hone.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-04-28
THE LARK

Up springs the lark at early morn;
And. as she soars, her clear, shrill song
Is heard upon the dewy air,
In meIlowed notes. both rich and rare
Up. up she darts. until each note
frum her sweet. vArbling. tiny thruat
L. heard no more. - coursing high.
She seems q spock upon the sky.
And now from hearing and from sighf
She roves alone in pure delight;
ChAste emblem Of the spirits true,
Who yet their Ssviour's form shall view
Sing On. sweet bird , fiy higher stili-
And with thy song the angels fl;
For notes like thine, 80 pure and sweet
Zen angels may with f5adness greet
And DOW descend with airy grace
Prom yunder distant rose.se space.
And ne will welcome thee In love,
As dew FROM fzirest skies above
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-04-28

THIS anecdote of guileless innocence on the
part of a raw yonng Partisan foOtman is going
the rounds in Paris His mistress proposed to
devote her afternoon TO calls, and stepping into
her carriage remembered that she had left
her card ease on the table, so she instructed her
servant to fetch the necessary implements of her
visit, and told him that she would inform him
where TO leave the substitutes for personal in
terview. He fetched the cards, and was ordered
to leave two here, zone here" three here ETC.,
at different hOnses, as etiquette demanded. The
man assduously obeyed, till at length ''three
here" was the order given, and he he paused.
81 can't, madame" he answered. She looked
interrogatively at him. There only two left, ~
he continued, CHANGING at the remnant-the ace
of diamonds and the king of elubs.n
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-04-28
SCHOOLS OUT.
ny DorTIE LISwooD.

There's sound Of distant laughter.
From the children at their play.
And the echo follows after.
Thro' the -ock and gl-ns away.
Rosy childhood rosy childhosdi
How love thy gniltless mirth!
Fairrr than the fiovery wildwood,
Is thy sinlrss course ON earth.
Dearer than old tales Of fiction,
Are their t-ll-tale faces now,
And an angels benelictlon
Seems u rest on every brow;
And their little raptured faces
Mind Us of the young Christ-ehild,
And sigh that through life's maz-s
They must tread, AND BE DEFILEDi
Darling children, in life's morning.
In ife's fresh and dewy Spring.
! will not with one sad warning.
To your trusting spirits bring
Doubts. or thoughts that life now golden
VIII not thus be bright Away;
These are tales too sad and olden-
Laugh, glad children, while you may.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-04-28

A correspondent of the Scientific 4mericaR
writes to that paper: II notice that some of
your correspondents mention trouble with pumps
which they require TO draw water almost further
than is possible. / have succeeded in such eases
by letting a very small portion Of air in at the
bottom of the pipe, which, passing up in bubbles
in the wafer, lessons the gravity Of the column
of water SO that the pump can raise it,
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-04-28

REMOVING WARTS by LIGATURE.-Mr. Ma
thaniel Foster, who lives near Winterset, Iowa,
in late letter gives his experience in the remov-
al of wart the size of a mans fist, from favor
lite COW upon his farm, by ligatiRg with piece
of Irvine. This had to be removed twice, and at
the end of two months the wart was gone and
the wound healed up. Mr.. Foster prefers this
mode of treatment to the eaustic plan or to re-
moval with knife, as being safer and more ef-
fectual. He is undoubtedly right in this con-
elusion.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-04-28

WHITE MAPLE SUGAR.-As sngar-making time
is near at hand, we publish the following:
Vermont farmer says the following is n sure
method of clarifying sugar: Filter all your sap
before boiling, through hopper or box of sand,
which he is satisfied will take ont not only all
the stains derived from leaves, tnbs, crumbs of
bark hut all other colOring matter that can
prevent the smear from being pure white.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-04-28

LOOK OFT FOR THE LIGHTSISG.-The 4meri-
architect draws attention to the serious
danger which may be run by the introduction of
the electrical light with aerial wires in cities
already spread with telephone circuits. All
those who have employed the telephone wires
are aware of the and frequency with which
the currents on the latter are transferred to the
former.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-04-28

THE LATEST CASE OF PLAGIARISN.-A report
on the state of religion in Nevada would be al
most brief the famous chapter on snakes in
ireland. The following anecdote might, howev-
er, be inserted: "At the recent opening of the
Nevada Legislature an Eastern minister was in
vited TO perform the religious service. He ac-
cepted the call, and closed the ceremony with
the Lords Prayer. When he had finished, State
Senator Doolan turned to Senator Hammond and
remarked, audibly: He stole that prayer and
I'll bet ON it. / heard it almost word for word
in Eureka at n funeral over ten years ago.
Sacramento Star
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-04-28

DIR. ENMoSs a New England divine met n
pantheistical physician at the house of sick
parishioner. 1t was no place for dispute, but
the abrupt question of the pantheist was, ''Air.
Emmons, how old are youfr ''Sixty sir; how
old are your 'As old as creation" was the tri-
umphant response. "Then you are the same age
Adam and Ever Certainly; / was in the
garden when they were" 81 have always heard
that there was third party in the garden with
Them but / never knew before that il was you -
reioned the divine.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-04-28

COTTON FOR BEDs.-A writer in the albany
CHitirator recommends the use Of cotton for beds
instead of feathers Its advantages are superior
in cleanliness, economy and healtbfulness. Ii is
considerably used for mattresses on the Mississippi
steamboats, and considered, superior to anything
but hair
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-04-28

CONVERSATION turned on late marriage he
tween December and May, some of the gentle
men pooh-pOohing the match But the lady
stoutly championing the frostbitten benedict,
why said she, ''every man ought to keep him
self married rs long as he lives. Now, here's my
hnsbandi What would he he good for without q
wifei If should die tonight he would get au-
other wife tomorrow, hope. Wouldn't you,
Josahr Josiah breathed heavily, and seemed
to sum up the connubial torments of a lifetime
in his calm response: mo, my dear, think
should take n restr
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-04-28

allowed to go TO seed, but when enough have
been reserved for this purpose, the flowers should
always be cut of as soon as they begin to decay
Nothing looks more untidy in a garden than to
see half decayed leaves and flowers all around
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-04-28

LEADvILLE paper remarks: When they had
finished lunch they asked the price. The man
in attendance said: Zone piece of pie SOC, one
cup of coffee 25c-75c each.' One of the party
grumbled a little about the price HereupOn
the old man behind the counter Strengthened
himself up, folded his arms in n dignitied man
ner, and said: stranger, look at me; do You
suppose am staying out here for my healthi'
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-04-28

A UTAH CoSUNDRUM.-A young man in Wis
consin has married the divorced wife of his
grandfather. Now, what relation is he to him
self.-IRter-O coaR.
That would be an easy one in this latitude.
Being his fathers brother he would he his own
uncle, of course. Wait until he marries his wifes
daughter and granddaughter, before you at
tempt Utah conundrum.-Salt Lake IribnRe.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-04-28

THERE are several ways of preparing ham and
eggs; in slices or in dice; mixed with the eggs.
or merely served under; may be raw or boiled.
Fry the ham slightly, dish it, then turn the fried
eggs over it: or fry both ut the same time. the
eggs being whole or scrambled
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-04-28

''YELI, Dor Is soft was in the smoking
room Of an Atlantic steamer that a worthy Teu-
ton was recently talking about weather forecasts.
"LOok here" he said, 81 dell you vat it is.
You peter don't take no shtOck in dem weather
predictions. Dose beople don't know nOding.
Dey can't dell no better as / cam
'But my dear sir" said person present
''they foretOld the storm which we have Just
encountered"
''Vell, dot is So said the Tenton, contemplate
lively, "but dell you vOt it is Dot storm would
have come yust de same if it had not been pre-
lictedD
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-04-28

ANGRY wife, (time, ? a. m.)-Is that you,
Charlesf' Jolly husband-"Zash me-" Angry
wife-"Here have been standing at the head Of
the stairs these two hours oh, Charles, how
can you!" Jolly husband (bracing up: "Shtan-
din on your head t'shtairs' Jenny, I'm
surprised! How can L! BY JOve, l can't! Two
hours, too 'Strornary wOmanr
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-04-28

AT a camp meeting lately, a venerable sister
began the hymn: ''My soul, be on thy guard I;
ten Thousand foes arise" She began too high.
''Ten thousand" she again screeched and stop
ped. "Better start her at five thousand, sister, -
quietly remarked an uneonverted broker present.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-04-28

DETROIT has young lawyer who, when he
remains out to an unreasonable hour in the night
shaving fun with the boys" goes to n hotel and
registers his name rs Roscoe Conkling, of WASH
ington.n
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-04-28

To CLEAN BRASS ORNAMExrs.-wash the
brasswork with rock alum boiled to strong I've
in the proportion Of an ounce to q pint; when
dry 1t must be rubbed with fine tripoli.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-04-28

WHEN Senator Malone was asked recently
where his home was, he said Sin Virginia
"But what placei" Gan about in Virginia
have no regular hOme-first one place then an
other. have my washing done in Lynchburg
now" He rarely stays in any place longer than
n week at a time
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-04-28

An Ohio CIR, sued 4 man for breach Of PROMISE
and proved him such mean scOundrcl that the
jury decided that she ought TO pay him some
thing for not marrying her.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-04-28

IN the present unsettled state of affairs ''hellr
having been abolished in the latest revision,
am at loss TO give my address. Ny friends may
therefore send all communications to the general
Post Observation-Disclosures.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-04-28

''KNow what good society isl l reckon do
cried Mr.. Grit. "Why, I've been put out of
more than twenty as swell affairs as ever were
gotten up in this city."-BrOoklyR Eagle