The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1881-05-25
Some Amusing Blunders.


We do not know whether the re-
cipient of the following letter felt
amused or enraged on reading 1t.
1t was written by a Buckingham
shire farmer to distinguished
scientific agriculturist, to whom he
felt under obligations for introduce
ing q certain variety of swine: Ike
specsed Sir IL went yesterday 10
the fair at f., / found several
pigs OF your species. There was a
great variety OF beasts; was great
~ astonished at not seeing you
there. Ne must imagine this to
have been written in au OF hand
manner, and without much consid-
Grafton: as also another, by an IL
liperate farmer, wishing to enter
some animals al agricultural ex-
hibition, when he wrote as follows
to the secretary Of the association :
Enter me also for a jackass. /
have no doubt whatever of gaining
prize"
4 very sight stretch of imagina-
/ ton is required 10 depict the amaze
mcnt of that inqaisitiyc old gentle
man. OF an inquisitiye turn OF mind,
who inquired of the gardner in one
of The pub.c places Of promenade
PRAY, inv GOOD man, can you in
form me ii this particular plant be
longs to the 'Arbutus' family p
when he received for reply: No
sir; it don't: it belongs 10 the cor
poration p This same remark APP
plies to that ambitious young lady,
who was talking very earnestly
abou. her favorite arthors, when
+ one Of the company inquired if she
liked Lamb. With an indignant
toss OF the head, she answered, that
she cared very little about what
she ate, compared with knowledge o
+ It. Doubtless the party who put
the question felt more amused by
the answer than the parish priest
did, who, observing an Irish girl al
play on Sunday, accosted hel
with "Good-morring, daughter O
the Evil One :" when she meekly
replied: "Good-morning, father"
Many an amusing mistake has
been made by people hard of hear
ing: We are told that a certain
Dean Of Ely was .cnce at a dinner
when Just as the cloth was removed
the subject of discourse happened
to he that of extraordinary mortality
among lawyers. I'VE have lost,
said gentleman, mot less than
seven eminent barresters in as many
months" The Dean, who was very
deaf, rose Just at the conclusion o
these remarks, and gave hecompany
grace: For this and every othel
mercy, make Us devoutly thankful.
+ On another occasion, at q military
dinner IN Ireland, the following wa!
on the toast list: May the mar
who has lost one eye in the glorious
service of his beloved country neve
/ see distress with the other" But th'
person whose duty it was to reaC
the toast accidently omitted the i'm
portant word distress" which com
pletely changed the sentiment. anC
caused no end Of merriment by the
blunder.
Another instance may be quoted
If only to show how careful peopl'
should bein expressing themselves OF
public occasions. A church in Soutl
London had been erected. when 8
dinner party was given, at the con
clusion OF which the health of th'
builder was proposed, when he very
enigmatically replied that he wa.
more fitted for the scaffold than for
public speaking"
On the ether hand, some mis-
takes, although amusing, are not
altogether complimentary. Few, fol
instance, would care to endorse az
observation which fell from the lip:
Of a gentleman, after gazing some
time at the skeleton of a donkey
and admiring and wondering at the
structure Of that despised animal.
"Ah." said he. ''we are fearfully and
wonderfully made" Equally a:
good was that of the greenhorn who
at a menagerie was particularly in,
teres.ed III a baboon. Several per.
sons were present, one Of whom ex.
pressed the opinion that it was the
lower order of the human species
This SO nettled the countryman
that he Immediately exclaimed
'Pooh, poohl he be no more human
species than We be-"
The late Lord LansdowEe used *
relate that when, after Turner the
painters death, he went to tht
artists house on a foggy morning
in the hope of getting a peep at hi:
reserved works, the old woman in
charge, looking up through the area
railings, took him for The cats meal
man, and bawling up, told him "h'
needn't come again, as The cat had
died the day before Gamblers
Journal.