Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1881-11-26
mUsTACrIEs oR rroNEY.
The Sad Romance OF a Tennessee
Repudiator.
"None ofthese mad mustchio purple-nued
malt-worms. NJ [HENY ".

"None Of these mad mustchio purple-nue
malt-worms. ."-[HENY ~.
] From Pennsylvania there comes
as an undertone to the information
that "bossism" still retains its gril
upon the State, the news of thu
death of Mr.. Bechtel. 1t Is not S.
much the intelligence of Mr.. Bech
tel's death that is regarded as al
appropriate accompaniment of ring
rule despotism, but the announce
ment that he has left a will il
which appears this remarkable
clause: "And | further disinherii
and prohibit from participation il
the distribution of my estate sucf
of my male descendants as persist In
wearing msIstaches."
AT a superficial glance this ap-
pears to be but another amusing
curiosity fn the long chapter oil
whimsicalities which have found
expression in wills. 1t maybe that
there is nothing more in it, but to
one who accustomed not only to
read but to reflect there must arise
at least a suspicion of a deeper
meaning. What that meaning Inay
be is, of course, a matter for specu-
lation. Mr.. Bechtel may have inn
posed so peculiar condition upon
his devisees because he was a pro-
fessional humorist and desired to
die on duty because he was a
crank in this era of cranks or be-
cause he thought by this means to
gain that noGOriety in death which
had eluded him in life. He may
have had an honest dislike for mus
taches, because, unless managed by
one who is an adept in the art, they
are not very appetizing accOmpani-
ments to a meal in which milk and
molasses, for instance, are to be
mastered. 1t is not a delicate sub
ject, but every one of refinement
knows tkat nothing will more
quickly rob the most delicious con-
isoD1naee of its flavor than see it inn
bibed through a mouth bristling
with capillary objectiles And If
for the cOIasOnlnsee should be substi-
tuted the more substantial sea-turtle
or puree-but the mere suggestion
is sufficient. If Mr.. BechtePs lega-
tees were emustachioed beings of this
class, or if they were accustomed to
loading their upper lips with a
greasy burden of odorOus pomade,
then in making his will he left the
world in his debt, and he proved
himself a philanthopist worthy OF
all the greater honors because his
motives, as here, are liable to mis-
construction. If such, indeed, was
the case we beg of Mr.. Bechtel that
he will so inform us though the
nearest spirit medium, in such or
biography as may be at that per-
sons command, and at our expense;
whereupon we not only agree to
make ample apology, but to origi-
nate at once subscription fund for
a monument to his memory.
In the meantime, however, we
feel at liberty to make our own in
terpretations of his motives. Pref
udices are more frequently wrong
than right, and we know of nothing
to take prejudice against mustaches
from the operation of this rule. If
Mr.. Bechtel's enmity to mustaches
was unjust-and tie chances are
that it was-then his will is an out
rage, not only upon its benehciaries
but upon society. There might be
a hundred unjustifiable causes
which inspired him with his hatred
of mustaches. Years and years ago
there lived in Virginia a young
man whose talents and application
to his profession really made the
newspapers believe what they said
when they called HIM ga rising
young lawyer" He loved and
thought himself loved in return.
A month before his marriage was
to have taken place there came to
the town a foreigner connected with
one of the legations at Washington.
The most notable thing about this
young man was his mustache, which
excited considerable comment, un-
favorable at first, but which gradu-
ally grew less so among the young
er feminine portion of the commu-
nifty. For be it remembered that 1t
was the custom in those days to
wear smoothly shaven faces in Vir-
ginia. The young dttdche must
have made some headway against
this custom, for our rising lawyer
was startled one evening by the re-
quest of his betrothed that he should
grow a mustache. He thought to
laugh it off at first, but when she
insisted he protested, and finally
left in high dudgeon, swearing that |
he would never make such an ass of
himself. His own anger kindled |
that of his sweetheart, and when
he called upon her again she refused |
to see him. Finally, pining for a
reconciliation, he conquered his |
pride and determined to coax into |
being a mustache. But alas {! it
would not be coaxed. A few |
hairs were all that re-
warded his persevering efforts.
The situation then was truly un-
promising. He could not return to
lis offended love with the hirsute
1eace-offering for which he had
triven he would not go to her and
ell her that he he'd tried to culti-
yate a mustache and had failed.
He could die, but he would not do
hat /; he could emigrate, and emf
,rate he did, following the tide till
le reached Tennessee, where he has
ince lived a grabbed old bachelor,
still, who has been
'ften heard to say that the worst
a man can carry
3 a mustache. Thus because ma
ure denied him this adornment, he
las entertained an unreasonable
Il-Will against mustaches in general,
nd allowed so trivial circum-
tance to warp his life and blight
is career for he is to-day man
f small means, and was and is an
rabid Tennessee Repa-
iationist, while if he had remained
a Virginia he might have been al
o a Repudiationist, petted by the
overs that be partaking of Govern
lent pap, and stepping, it may be,
lto seat in the United States Sem
te.
And so it might have been that
fr. Bechtel disIiked mustaches be-
ause he was not able to produce ,
ne and enjoy all the advantages
yhich it brings. 1t might have
cen this, or 1t might have been (
)me one of various other unTeason-
lie reasons which could be assigned. /
Tut it is unnecessary to specify
lrther. The point which we en- {
hasize is, that unless it can be
lown that Mr.. Bechtel's opposi-
on to mustaches was based upon
Ich sufficient ground as above re-
erred to, his will should at once be
roken. 1t is cunning effort to
AIRY an end by the aid of tyranny
circumstances. 1t is a vitality
Imed blow at the inalienabl rights
man, directed by the mighty arm