davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-10-20
Spoopendyke Starts q Fire.

''Mr Spoopendy Ike ~ called Mrs Spoopendyke,
from the head of the stairs, the morning after
the sardiiies had been disposed Of. "Mr. Spoop-
endyket' she called again, in a shrill falsetto.
The only answer from the bed was n loud snore.
'Mr. SpOOp-"
'.well, holler again. ~ yelled Mr.. Spoopendyke,
springing up in bed.
.'What aiis youf Think I'm deaf in one ear,
and can't hear out of the other' Think II
'Why, no. my dear; but thought you might
be asleep. You know | called yon twice before
You answered. don't think you heard me-"
''Did hear you, too, but thought is a fish
horn. Ali it wOnld take to make steam whis-
tie out of you would be locomotive TO put you
on. Do you want anythingr
''The fire in the Furnaces has gone ont, said
Mrs. S.
ooh, has il ?" yelled Mr.. S., and he dropped
over and laid his nose against the wall. .What
has it gone ont for-to take a walki Gone to
Washington S'Pose I'm going to get up and
start it, this time of night |"
.sBut it's six O'Clock, and have been up an
hour
Mr.. Spoopendyke bounced ont of bed, caught
up his coat, and tried TO get his feet INTO the
sleeves.
Mrs S. went down stairs to get the kindling
Presently Mr.. S. came down, and stslked to the
woodshed. In few moments he called his wife,
to know where she kept the saw.
.'why, what did you do with it, when you had
it last ~
"Oh, / dug hole in the garden and buried it,
then / placed cabbage over its grave. Don't
think / swallowed it, do youf Going to find
that sawi Where did you find it . Here, give
it to me- aud he grabbed it, and sawed his fin
ger across the teeth, to how sharp il was.
Every tooth left its mark. He dropped it on his
toes, with a yell of despair, and howled and
danced around the room a. if he had n small dog
at his heels.
'Did it hurt you, dearr asked Mrs. s., SYM
.'No, dod CAST it. of course it don't hurt. I'm
just dancing to keep warm, just trying to work
off my spirits, you know"
And with terrible grin he grabbed the saw,
and started to file il. Just rs the family were
sitting down TO breakfast, Mr.. S. walked in with
a basket of charcoal and his saw.
'Come to breakfast said his wife, 81 have
started the fire.,
.'why, have you, my dear' Where did you
get the kindling"
81 split up boarl found In the barn."
''The deuce you did You'll ruin me yet. Did
you know that was black walnut, and paid q
dollar for itf o, you ought to have been bus
mess man. All it would take to make Jay
Gould of You would be q hat full Of United
States bonds and few railroads."
And Mr.. S. helped himself to plate Of beef
steak, and let his victuals stop his mouth
BrooklyH Eagle
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-10-20
Keeping Vegetables.

A correspondent of the ". E. Farmer gives
hints on keeping vegetables for winter. Accor-
ding to this authority the cool, damp air of eel
lar is good place to keep roots and apples, pro-
vided they can be kept moist and cold enough to
prevent whiting. This is quito out of the ques-
ton in the modern dwelling house cellar, in
which the hot air or steam furnace keeps up a
constant disturbance Of the air, and produces a
dryness and warmth ruinous TO the preservation
of roots. If neglected in spring and summer
the remnant that remains at this season frequent
ly becomes n nuisance, and cause of disease in
make n cellar under some shed orcarriage house.
or the barn, for roots aud apples.
Celery should never be allowed to freeze at all
after blanching. 1t is usually stored by heeling
it in, quite thickly, III the bottom of pit, which
is covered with Loards and the boards protected
from frost by a heavy coat of leaves, spent tan
or eel grass. 1t will not keep well in a common
cellar, unless buried up in sand or loan, the air
of a cellar being so dry as to cause it to wilt.
Onions keep well in a cold, dry cellar, if not
too early; they should be stored in dry loft, or
on barn floor, until cold weather endangers
their freezing, say about Thanksgiving time,
when they may be barreled and put in the cellar
To keep other roots, such as bcets carrots and
turnips, from whiting, put them up in barrels
with heads, or pile them in the cellar about four
feet deep, and cover the pile with n little straw
or coarse litter, TO prevent evaporation. IL the
cellar is kept cold, they will not sprout and
grow; but this is not always easy to do, as mild
weather approaches in spring. at which season a
good pit keeps the roots in better order than any
cellar can do.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-10-20
A Selhsh General

One night in the spring of 1862, General Rich
ardson, who then commanded brigade, took it
into his head TO inspect the picket line. Com
ing upon n reserved picket of about thirty men,
under command of a captain of the Second Mich
igan Infantry, the General saw fit to interro-
gate as follows:
captain, in case of m alarm by the advance
picket, what would yOu dor
Send of a reinforcement at once"
And If the firing cOntinuedP
II should move up with the remainder of nv
force.'
"And suppose a whole company of the enemy
should press forward ~
"We'd whip them"
but If il was a regiment"
SID form n line of battle and check them, I'M
til l sent back and got orders to charge the
whole lot"
"Well, suppose n brigade should move down
on you in battle line 7,
I'D order charge, split the column in two,
and whip both halves in detailD
At midnight, the brave Captain was relieved
from further duty on picket. He was very in
dignant, and considerably puzzled, and after
thinking the matter over for awhile, no said to
q brother officer:
"Say, I've struck it, Old Rich was afraid nv
company might gobble the whole Confederate
army, and throw him out of n summers Job! If
that amt sefshness, then I'd like to know what
is ~
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-10-20
Prepare for Winter.

preparations the farm for winter have
not already been undertaken. they should be at
once begun. Many farmers defer such precau-
tons until injury ami loss have punished their
delay. In this cold and changeable climate, it
shows sad lack of forethought and economy tn
neglect snch repairs and improvements as will
secure proper shelter during the rigors of winter
for the farmers own family, his stock and the
crop he has gathered. A board off, or a pane of
glass ont, here and there, may canse long doc
tors bill, the loss of young animal, or n part
of the potatoes, roots apples, and of the labor
and money bestowed on their cultivation. More
over, if the places where animals are kept in win
ter are cold, windy or damp, . large proportion
of the food that wonld otherwise contribute TO
the increase ofthe bulk of the carcass or 10 the
yield of milk, in the of mich cows is di-
verted from these purposes in order to make
good the waste induced in meeting the severe de-
mands for animal heat. Experiments have
proved that for animal exposed to the cold,
from one-fourth to one-thir,l more feed is re-
quired to maintain the proper degree of animal
heat, than for one protected from the elements
by suitable shelter. To provide proper protec-
tion against Indictment weather for the animals
on the farm is, therefore, to consult economy
quito as mnch as humanity.-RHyal Nec Yorker.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-10-20
APersistent Gimlet Man.

81 should like to sell you a gimlet," said a
earewGrn-looking man, as he walked into an Of
fee the other day.
1--WE have no use for one" replied the cash
Ter.
''Bnt you should look into the misty future, -
went ON the iiend demurely. Next winter yon
will want to make holes in your boot heels, 81
you can get your skates on"
81 uss club skates-nO holes required
"YOu may want to screw some boards togeth-
er sometime. The old-fashioned method of driv-
ing the screws in with hammer is perncious,
as it dictionaries the tenacity of the fangs of
the screw, as it were"
Nothing to-day, sir"
"This ginlet also acts as 4 cOrk-screw.'
81 don't want it."
sit may also be used as a tack hammer a ci-
gar holder, and toothbrush
al don't want it,"
at has an eraser, pen, an ink-stand, table
for computing compound interest, and a lunch
box attachment"
81 don't want it."
81 know you don't; you are one of those men
that won't buy gimlet, unless in has a restar-
rant and trip to Europe and an Italian opera
company attachment You're the kind of a man
that would live near an electric light to save a
gas bill"
And tho peddler walked out with his mental
plumage on the perpendicular.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-10-20
Mseful aud Curious.
The Msnaecnent of Sick children

The vieissitudes necessarily incident to an out
door and primitive mode Of life are never the
first causes Of disease, though they may some
times betray its presence. bronchitis, nowadays
perhaps the most frequentof all infantile diseas-
es, makes no exception to this rule; drauyht
of cold air may reveal the latent progress of the
disease but its canse is long confinement in vitiat-
ed and oyerheated atmosphere, and its proper rem
edy ventilation and a mild, phlegm-lOosening
(saceharine) diet, warm sweet milk, sweet oat-
meal porridge, or honey water. Select an airy
bedroom, and do not be afraid to open the win
dows; among the children of the Indian tribes
who brave in terrible tents open winters of the
Hudson Bay territory, bronchitis, Group, and
diphtheria are wholly unknown; and what We
call stalking cold" might often be more correctly
described as taking hot glowing stoves, and
even open fires, in a night nursery, greatly az
gravate. the pernieious effects Of an impure at
mosphere. The first paroxysIn of Group can lie
promptly relieved by very simple remedies;
fresh air ard u rapid forward and backward
movement of the arms, combined in urgent cases
with the application of the fiesh-brush, or
flannel to the neck and the upper part of the
chest. Paregoric and poppy syrup stop the cough
by letharging the iritability and thus preventing
the discharge Of the phlegm till its accumulation
produces q second and far more dangerous par
oxysm. These second attacks of cronp CATER
the administration of pallatiyes) are generally
the fatal ones. When the child is cOnyalescing
let him beware of stimulating food and over
heated rooms. Do not give apperient medicines;
costiveness, after effect Of pleuratic affec-
tions, will soon yield To fresh air and vegetable
diet.-Dr. Feiir l.. OsrdId, In Popular Scieaoe
MoHfklr for October
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-10-20
Getting out of Bed.

DIR. Hall does not approve of the old doctrine
which was formerly instilled into the minds of
children-that they should spring out of bed the
instant they awake in the morning He says:
up TO to eighteen years old every child should
he allowed to rest in bed after the sleep is over
until they feel rs ifthey would rather get up than
not. 1t is n very great mistake for persons, old
or young-especially children or sedentary per-
sons-bounce ont of bed at the moment they
wake up; all the instincts shrink from it and
fiercely kick against it. Fifteen or twenty min
utes spent in gradually waking up, after the
eyes are opened, and turning over and stretching
the limbs, do rs much good as sound sleep, be-
cause the operation sets the blood in motion by
degrees, tending to equalize the circulation for
during sleep the blood tends to stagnation, the
heart beats fecbly and slowly, and to shock the
system by bouncing up in an instant and sending
the blood in overwhelming quantity to the heart,
causing it to assume a gallop, where the instant
before it was n creep, is the greatest absurdity.
This instantaneous bouncing out of bed AZ soon
as the eyes are open will be followed by a wea-
riness long before noon.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-10-20
Milk Diet in Heart Disease.

The opinion of DIR. Pecholler, an eminent
French physician, is now cited in favor of milk
diet in the treasment of the diseases Of the heart
lie states that in active ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS,
in those cases where the consequences of the de-
velopment of the muscular hbres prevail over
the embarrassment of the circulation caused I,y
the dilatation of the cavities the contraction Of
the oriices, or the insuiiiciency of the valves
and where, in consequence, the tension of the
blood is great In the arteries, and the radial
pulse is full and hard in such cases, Mt their
commencement, the milk diet, together with the
Use of digitalis, and sometimes without il, WILL
If continued long enough, induce ut once an
amendment of the symptoms, and even, at last,
all absorption of the superintendent muscular
tissues, and thus effect n cure. 1t is found that
under the influence of this diet, tho impulses of
the heart diminish, together with the palpita-
tions, also the congested condition of the face,
the brain and lungs. Tho patient experiences
an unexpected Improvement, and, by the adop-
tion of this plan, life may be prolonged and rem
dered more supportable-a great palliation of
the symptoms resulting, even though there be
no cure.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-10-20

Hedges are far moro ornamental and useful
than fences in every respect. 1t is an old time
custorn-building and repairing fences-and the
farmers are the slOwest people in the world TO
discard habits and usages. Fences are insight
ly, and where farms are divided into fields they
present n chopped up appearance that detracts
from their beauty. One Of the principal objec-
tons to hedges is the long time they take to be
of practical service, but the patience of the far
mer will be well rewarded in the end, when he
has accomplished his object, for perfect fence
can only lbs obtained by the growth of hedge
On heavy stock Usage orange can be made to
turn stock in three years, but five years make it
far more durable. Ii will not do to simply set
the plants and leave them alone, but they should
be cut down to within six inches of the ground
the second year, and regularly trimmed thereaf-
ter. every fall pillow should be run alongside
of them twice, in order to add to the thrift of
the plants and also to keep the roots cut within
bounds. In some localities the branches are
woven or twisted together closely that birds
cannot pass through. Shoots then grow from
these, which makes the hedge very compact and
dense. The hawthorn with its terrible needless
also forms splendid hedge, but it and the hon
ey locust do not grow as rapidly as the Usage
orange.
For sandy or light soils the evergreens-Nor-
way spruce and American arbOrvitie-make beau
tiful hedges. visitor to South Jersey. in the
neighborhood of Vineland, and along the rail-
roads running through Atlantic County, will he
surprised at the beauty of the fruit farms that
have been ornamented with evergreen hedges.
They are generally well trimmed, and have not
only been ornamental and useful, but have in
creased the value of every farm containing
them.
good hedge will last lifetime. It not only
keeps the stock within bounds, but is very eiiec-
tual against intruders, the thOrns of the Usage
orange and hawthorn presenting a very uninvit-
ing prospect for men and stock that are not de-
sired on the premises, Fences need repairing
every year, and on every farm may be found one
or more obstinate animals that break through
and destroy some of the best constructed ones
but hedges are invulnerable, no animal daring to
attempt to pass through them.
The cost is much in favor of hedges compared
with fences, not only regards the immediate
outlay, but as a matter of durability. Fences
are being abolished in Great Britain, and the
price of fence material is getting beyond the
reach of Farmers who live in sparsely timbered
sections in this country, which inspires the hope
that the time will come when we will see hedges
instead of the present unsightly fences.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-10-20
Smooth Carriage Roads.

1t should be remembered that gravel and hard
pan, or gravelly loan, are the best. and the sur
face soil-often mere muck-thc worst material
that can be employed. Better leave n road I'M
worked, than to form with any soil composed
largely of vegetable mould, narrow track which
will always become muddy and rutty in long
rains, and impossible with heavy loads in the
spring and fall. In many places no turnpike is
needed; and when care is taken to keep the track
clear of stone. and proper drains open, il
remains in n better state than if thrown up in the
usual manner. Large stone, say about the size
of mans fist, should never he used in filling up
ruts in the roads, however deep they may be.
and they should not be more than half this size
if placed near the surface. They are very sure
to work up when the ground is sOftencd by
thawing up in spring. Let them FIRST I've broken
finely, and they will become fixed and con-
solidaied by the travel over them, as to remain
permanent. No loose or projecting stones should
be allowed to remain in the roadway at any sea
son-CoHRfrg Gentleman
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-10-20
Onr Strip Book.
BR4H-BLE.

Ths cor, Il. --,,,.-a ~. - h,,s
I. .ls.,.;,r i, - -,, - - 49,
az ~, S.-..s,,,s..- -;,..aa oAo
Nov astey Esrxs.,s ~. aiiI "a ,.,-,,,
IIL. - N, = -. n, ,, ~ ..t.e,
~ f~-s sNe'A ~
Pad tint. NJ .,,,,,,,, ,,,,,.,, A.. -.
tn, -,s,is 4, q 49,. s' .hu.h w 49, Ie.s
A. -. ,h - hs,ah-- 49,
F,.,-a hiIi.iSs ,,a..sa.I. &c - 49,
~. ,h,-.aI,. =, .;,,..i nose =. ence''
' iN'i"S sung
I'll. I,n.~ III H., s:,...t
NJ i,,' -. ~ ia,.s.n ",
"a i.,a .,,,.'a.iS 49, 49, IN oisn'
. ss;- -. 49,. a.
To. d.inty ,.nsi. 49,. -. '"' si""
Tia lox,v l-.r,,lo ,.lt..
In ro,,,as,n h.-i.n,.s..~s h.'s.,,
F.r eonmcn b.nds =, nnn
A bo,n 70 fr,xeIie,- -. X r.s
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-10-20
IN A CHURcHYARD.
BY WILLIAM WINTER.

The lonesome wind Of Autumn grieves ;
The northern lights are seen;
October sheds her changing leaves
Upon the chnrch-yard grcen,
Where, sitting pensive in the sun,
While fading grssscs wave,
1 watched the cricket leap and run
Upon q strangers grave.
There is no sigh Of fiuttering leaf,
No sob Of r,istling grass;
Tho breezes DER this place n grief
In breathless whispers pass;
Yet, like murmur in dream,
Purls on that insect voice
That vacant tone which does not seem
To mourn or to rejoice.
A tone that hath no soothing grace,
A tome that nothing saith;
A tone that's like this solemn plaeo
OF memory. tears and death
II darken- hope, IL deepens gloom,
Black fear, and donbt profound;
Turning the silence Of the tomb
To more mysterious sound
There's night upon the face Of fame,
There's night on beanty's eyes;
Nor pure renown nor glorious shame
From out their ashes rise.
In vain the shrines Of prayer are trod;
Nor sound nor silence breathe
The thought that flowers upon this sod,
The secret hid beneath.
All. strangely sad. forlOrn. and drear,
This nameless strangers sleep
Der which the slowly dying year
Ia all that seems to weepl
n n Il a. l. n L..
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-10-20
Tle Fun Of the Ching.
MOTHERS HucKLEsERRY PIES.

How eft goes memory back to childhood
When picking berries on the hill,
With pail in hand. I'd strip the bushes,
Along with little brother Will
What cared We for the heats of Summer,
With brnsd straw hats tipped DER our eyesi
For. with tboss very huekleberIies
Our mother made those famous pies
] see her now dear cherished mother
With apron white snow,
Her plump arms bars up 70 the elbow
And On her checks q rosy glow;
] seem to see her roil the pie crust
And NIL the plates Of largest size,
For well she knew how hungry ehilare
Enjoyed her hnckieberry pics
And father, he'd come in from hayins.
And stand by mother very near,
And say: Now. wife, in all tho township.
None make such pics you do, dear,
Except, perhaps, my dear old mother;
Why. at the Fair you'll take the prize
Come, children, now, well go to dinner,
And have Q feast On mothers pics
Those dinners now well remember
Within tho kitchen large and cool;
These Summer days of our vacation,
When we were FREQ of books and school
All! can IL be of years fun thirtyi
And yet Ii must be: how time fiesi
Since We sat in that farm house kitchen.
And ate. in childhood, mothers pies
Within our modest home Is sitting
An aged lady, sanity fair;
While at her side my lad and lassie
Are looking up with earnest air.
'1Grandma." they say, I'VE picked these berries,
We meant it for great surprise"
And Grandma smiles and says NY darlngs,
I'm not too old To make good pics
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-10-20
OVER THE BRIDGE.

Proud and lowly, beggar and lord.
Over the bridge they 90;
Rags and velvet, fetter and sword,
Poverty, pomp and woe.
Laughing, weeping. hurrying ever.
Hour by hour they crowd along.
While. below, the mighty river
Sings them all o hooking song
Hurry along. sorTow and song,
All is vanity meath the sun;
Velvet and rags, 10 the world vaes,
Until the river no more shall nun.
Dainty. painted, powdered and gay,
Rollcth my lady by;
Rags-and-tatters. over the way,
Carries q heart as high.
Flowrs and dreams fron country meadow
Dust and din thru city skies.
Old men creeping with their shadows,
Children with their sunny eyes
Hurry along. sorrow and song.
All In vanity meath the sun;
Velvet and rags, 10 the world wags,
Until the river no more shall run
Storm and sunshine, peace and strife,
Over the bridge they go;
Floating on In the tide Of life.
Whittier no man shall know.
Who will miss them there tomorrow.
Waits that drift TO the shade or sum-
Conc away from their songs and sorrUw;
Only the river still flows On
Hurry along. sorrOw and song,
All il vanity meath the sun:
Velvet and rags. 80 the world waCs,
Until the river no more shall run.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-10-20
COIN FUR THE cows.

The western skies were all aglow
With clouds q red and gray:
Thr erickets in the grassy fields
Were rhirpin' mcrrily,
when up the lane an DER the hill
] saw a maiden rozm,
Who went her way, ut close o DAY,
To call the cattle home:
Co-boss-co-bossi
Co-boSs-co-bossl
Come hoine-cOme home!
The echo o her charmin' voice
Rs--onndesl thru the vale:
IL fingered an the evenin' air;
IL iioated On the gale;
Twas borne along the mountain side,
Ii drilled through the glen;
II died away among the hills,
. Far frum the haunts O. Inen:
Co-boss-co-boss!
Coboss-eo-bossi
Come home-come homel
Her face was flushed with hues o. hoaltl
Her arms an feet were bare;
She had 1.-the an active form,
A wealth o ebon hair.
Beyond the hill she passed from sight,
EE sinks fallin' star,
Until her voice WAS family heard
Still calm from afar:
Co-bass-coboss
Co-boss-co-boss!
Come home--coine home.
Soon DER the distant knoll appeared
The cattle. led an brown,
An frUm the pastur To the lane,
Came gayly trUttin' down.
With sparklin eyes an checks asl0w,
Returned the maiden gay,
Who waved her arms, an shouted low:
Whay-boss-whay-boss-0, whayl
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.
whay-b0ss-whay-b ossl
o. whay-O, whay!
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-10-20

FRUITS OF COURTsHIP.-Ned Grimes wore a
sad cOuntenance. lie was often asked what
was the matter, but no satisfactory answer was
forthcoming. At length particular friend OBJ
tanned the following particulars of him:
"You know" said Ned al have been counting
Sally W., long while, and so we had great
notion Of getting married, when that plagny old
$50 on, Ned, don't be boy; what about the
Colonelf"
why, you sec, Sally said / had better ask
him, and 30 did, as perlite as l know'd how. {"
well, what reply did he make 7"
why, he kinder limited round as if warn't
wanted there"
well, Ned, lot us know what they were !;
what the Colonel said to disturb your mind So"
'Why, he said"
''Said WHAT
"Why, he said, il he catched me there again.
he would cowhide me till hadn't an inch of
rine left on my back, darn his old picture"