The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1881-01-18
THEY DO SAY,
But are Not Willing 20 Swear to It

gIceOOOfO On ttSucs
That ]. NJ. Shook will never, never
fool With buzz saw again.
That Tom Kehoe has q smile As sweet
Is the perfume OF spring violets.
That Col W. s. Snoddy has . voice
like the roar of thunder storm.
That Will. D. Steele looks like Andrew
jackson when he WAS young man.
That County Recorder Ri,chie's addi-
ton to Sedalia is being gobbled up fast.
That "the tireIess and slespIea-" Cue
Lamy resembles young Baron Roth-chlid.
That the coal dealer always cay there
is fuel famine when he has meme TO rell.
That Lord Dundreary Hendricks is
the most self possessed society man In town.
That Chas. KIueber thinks ''mein lee
die Otto" is bigger man than old Bismarck.
That Miss F.. Schehen is the fines,
-thern player who ever sPie.red IN Sc
daiia.
| That Joe. Peitier ia Frenchmsn, and
that he fit and bled for his adopted
country.
That there il no town in the state
! which takes better care OF the poor than
Sedalia.
That John Gecks ia getting so very
thin that il would break down a Hat Car 10
haul him.
That John Siebe is "the liveli-si old
boy" or his pins who attends he fideiio
club balls.
That Mar-hal Smith feela ''prefty well
thank you" since the conviction Of Tut
and Collins.
That Judge Strother l. ~ austere man
who allows no joking in cou:t aud fro~ns
on frivolity.
That Joe. Schrieber, Of the Garrison,
has the pret,iest hair ard smile OF any
fellow In town.
-Thst J. A. Mcdonnell is the most
modest and diffident man in :he city with 6
di,ople in his chin.
That Maj. VIM. Beck Is Knight OF
the Ircn Cross and wesrs that emblem
amorg his watch charms.
That Bill jackson is going 10 Tim
bacioo TO gather Iolconda diamonds from
Siberian crab apple trees.
That liza Hin-daIe's mule can turn a
sharper corner without falling down than
any other mule in Missouri.
/ -rhst Thos. ID. Quinn used TO he q
NJ wspaper man and knows all the notable
Irishmen in the United States.
That Cliff Jackson has had more
| Jokes played on him, and has taken them
IN better spirit than any man in town.
| That Uncle Cephas is wearing h = nose
IN a posltiee OF bread and milk 10 take the
rose tint out of it before he gets saf rried.
That Dave Clancy can speak German
IA il he had been born in Berlin and fed on
pre;zeis, bologna and beer from baby hood.
That number Of society bellies In this
city know very we'll what a fellow has BEEN
doing when his breath smells of lemon peel
ing.
That Officer Schsnawerk enjoyed
himself hugely at his brothers wedding
! and kissed the bride with resounding
smack.
That Alderman Mead has Lot yet
solved the great problem Of "a strange
confederation Of contradictory concomi-
tants."
-Thst Charley Yeater deaerves the
| name of ''the arch insinuator" as he has
ely wit which is destined to distinguish
him at the bar.
That Aug. Fleischman, the well known
druggist, is the son of Rev. A. X. Fieisch-
man, the founder of the German Baptis,
church in America.
That Phil Kelly ia now not only
called the "Old Reliable" but the friend
of the widows and orphans. He takes no
etock in grass widows.
That some OF the kids in town, u no are
struggling with moustaches, are very care
full in their directions to the barber, "NOt
to cut too close 10 IT,"
That Alderman Fernaid has often been
mistaken for q Presby terrain missionary
who gained his sedaie look by hard labor
among the little heaihens Of Booriboolsh-
gah.
That Henry ID. Stringer can unfold a
rich tale on the witness, stand with more
GOODNESS and better style than any man
ever before the circuit court As Wit
ness.
That Miss Josie Wright, of Clinton,
daughter of Judge Foster p. Wright, who
is enrolling clerk Of the Missouri senate, IL
the prettiest and most fascinating official
in the state.
That Alderman Hickman, the jolly
East Socialism, and Senator David DAVIS
have drawn up articles fer "a weighing
MATCH" and the FIRST man who masaes the
scales Hat is to fast for a month.
That all the parties in the Antes-
Marker suit, excep. the lawyers, will be-
gin TO think thst justice is not only blind,
but that she il deaf, dumb, scrofulous, hip
shot, bone spawned and wind CALLED. before
the suit is over.
That about dozen profsne sinners in
SedaiIa want to know which is the worst
ITO swear occasionally when you are very
mad, or TO 60 to church, fiirt, pray and
then 60 home and Islander your neighbors
or eat until you are sick.