davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1881-05-25
Bound to Have 1t.

Elder Traverse was once the most
noted man in Eastern New York as
camp meeting leader. He had a
powerful voice, was fluent speaker,
and in the prime of his life he could
get away with any man who ever
sought to disturb his meetings.
The elder was once holding a
camp.meeting near Yonkers, and
word reached him that notorious
rough, known as "Chicago Bob" in
tended to be Oh hand Sunday tor
row. He made no reply and took
no precautions, and when Bob APP
peared on the grounds with a cigar
in his mouth and a slung-shot iii his
coat sleeve, the elder didn't grow
pale worth a cent. Bob had come
out there to run things, and he took
forward seat. When the people
started to sing, he began growing,
and thus created confusion.
"Robert, you had better sit down.
observed the elder, as he came for
ward.
"Chicago Bob sits down for no
man." was the reply.
"Slt down, Robert" continued the
elder, as he put his hands on the
loaters arm.
"Here goes to clean out the crowd"
crowed Bob, as he peeled off his
coat.
Next instant the elder hit him un-
der the ear and he fell over bench ;
he was followed up and hit again
and again, and while in a semi
unconscious state he was carried of
by his friends.
Next day he was the first one to go
forward for prayers The elder put
his hand on his head and asked:
Robert are you in earnest ?"
81 am"
care you really seeking after the
faith ?"
You bet am If faith helps a
man to get in his work like it did
you yesterday, Pm bound to have it,
ii l have to sell my haiti
He didn't get it very strong, but
he did no more growing while the
meeting lasted.
The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1881-05-25
THE FLORIDA AGEIC ULTURIST.

slices, and passes he plate round
from one 10 the other; all are Won
derfully silent, RESPECTFUL, selt-con-
trolled the house hold seems so
peaceful, SO patriarchal in its simple
primitiveness, thaJ the stranger
seems cut of PLACE. The sons
saunter in, cigar in mouth, but rev.
erent toward their parents, and sa
luting them with tie morning kiss
OF affection and peace, take their
slice of melon. Then the soup or
caldo, is placed carefully on the ia
BILE anywhere, and each takes
plateful; then comes cocida, meat
stewed to rags from which the caldo
is taken, with rice and slices OF
every sort OF stewed vegetable OF
the luscious, aromatic, semi-pungent
vegetables of the country. A little
dish of sausage or Of bacon follows;
then bread and cheese, and then fruit
again, aud the men drink a little,
but very little, wine, the women only
water. A cup of coffee and cigarette
tollow-the meal is over, and the
family quietly dispense to pursue the
occupations Of the day.
The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1881-05-25
The Science of Kissing.
Ne,p Orleans Times.

Ne,c Orleans Times.
Science, in the last few years, has
gained a terrible foothold in this
world. 1t has ratified the dry bones
of fogyism, made pr out OF wornout
theories, upset ideas which have been
established for centuries. The latest
and most astonishing fact that has
been developed is that there is a sci
entific mode of kissing. The day
when young man could grab girl
around the neck and gobble a kiss in
rough but comfortable manner is
past. The time when he could en-
circle her waist with one arm, get
his shirt bosom full OF hair oil, and
pirouette his lips over every square
lnch OF her countenance, is no more.
Science has proclaimed against it,and
man shoulders but remains silent. The
old style OF kissing, which sounds
like some one tearing CARDBOARD off
smoke house, is now considered bad
taste, and consequently going out OF
fashion, although the majority OF
girls admit that science has cruelty
destroyed all the comfort OF a long,
lingering, thrilling kiss, and
this tact causes them to express
no little regret. The improved sci
entitc method OF kissing is TO throw
the right arm languidly around the
fair ones shoulder, tilt her chin up
with the left hand, until her
face is pointed at al angle of forty
tlve degrees-or rather until 1t has
an aspect resembling the bowsprit Of
clipper, built sloop. Then stop
softly and Craze about her lips III a
quiet, sudden sort of q way, tickle
her nose with your mustache until
she cries "Ouch!" This is scientific
kissing; but there is no consolation
in it-nothing TO make man feel
like couple OF galvanic butterflies
were galloping along his spinal col
umn. 1t is flat--luEe warm it is at
least Improbable. n...
"There, that explains where my
clothes-line went TO-" exclaimed an
Iowa woman, as she found her hus-
band hanging in the stable.
The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1881-05-25
EXECUTORS NOTICE.
157 I61

NOTICE is hereby given that all persons in
IN debted to the estate of the late James ID.
Ditnars late of Daytona Volusia County, de-
ceased, are required to make immediate pay
ment to me; and all persons having claims
and demands against said estate including
distribution are notified that their claims
and demands will be barred at the expiration
of two years unless exhibited duly authenti-
Gated according to law within that period to
to me or my attorney, +. j. LaPenotiere, En-
teTprise, Florida.
RICHARD II. COWPERTHWAITE,
Executor of the last will of james ID. Ditmais,
deceased.
FL. LAPENOTIERE,
Attorney at Law, Enterprise, $50 157
The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1881-05-25
A Spanish Breakfast.
Selected.

Selected.
All the members of the family are
present at this meal the first OF the
day. The table is laid with a snowy
cloth, with porous Andujar pitchers
OF classic shape, with melon rolling
here and there; knives, forks, plates
put on without any regard to order
or arrangement, large lunches Of
white and purple grapes, and few
bottles Of red astringent wine; bread
lies in spiral or long rolls all about
the table in the center of which
stands some flowers. When all is
ready, the mother and, father and
one or two daughters OF the family
come in and take their places; the
family come in and take their
places; the father Quietly takes the
melon before him, and cuts it into
The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1881-05-25
HOMESTEAD NOTICE.
Land Office at

Gainesville, Fla May T. 1880 I
NOTICE is hereby given that the follow
ing-named settler has filed notice OF his
intention to make final proof il support
of his claim. audSe final entry thereof
at the expiration OF thirty days from the
heir of Chas. Freeman, b homestead No. 311
before j, w. DickinS, Clerk Circuit Court
at Enterprise, Fla, on Thursday, June 8,
1881, for the southwest ! of southeast !! !,
Section 3, Township II south Range 80
east, and names the following as his wit
nesses. viz: James Shields, John D..
Broome, Robt. Shields and Littlet0n Ben
net. all OF DeLand. Fla.
l.. A. BARNES,
156 100 Register.
The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1881-05-25
Texas Yarns.
Correspondence N. o. Times.

correspondence
BUCK SAW.
Hanks grocery was situated on the
edge OF a prairie in Southern Texas,
and on Sunday quite a crowd used to
meet there and swap news and lies
and have horse races, and get boiling
drunk and indulge i'll other harmless
amusement. Old Lem Williams
used to be on hand every Sunday, land
was considered the boss liar i'll the
State. He was long, thin specimen
OF humanity, stoop-shoaldered and
with freckled hose which stood out
from the rest of his face like PENN
sula. He also had villainous stump
tailed dog named jess, which fol,
lowed at his heels. Jess was a curl
Gus dog, and whenever tick was
fastened to the end of his stumpy
tail it was amusing to note his act
-ianss lie would commence walking
around after his tail in a slow, dellb-
crate manner, and then he would
get faster and faster, until he buzzed
around like rip saw, but it was no
use, his tail would always keep a half
foot ahead of him, and it exasperated
the poor dog to such All extent that
he would fall down and have spasm.
Lem Williams concluded once to
keep the ticks from his dogs tail, so
he smeared it with pitch, but Jess, he
went off and sat down on the end OF
plank, and the consequence was he
locked himself to the lumber. Lem
Williams tried to pull the plank off
the dog and the dog off the plank, but
the two wouldn't separate, so he had
to saw off the plank, and let Jess
carry piece of it around with him,
which made the rear end OF the dog
look as fiat as the dashboard of
spring wagon. Such was lem Will
liams' dog. One Sunday Lem Viii.
liams himself was seated in front of
Hanks grocery, splitting tobacco
juice at grasshopper, when Bill Bar
ker inquired
blows crops up your way, Lem?"
"Well," he replied, "corn's sorter
gin to tasseling, but the stand is
powerful poor"
'That seems to be the general
complaint" remarked Bill.
Eyes, this here country amt good
tor raisin' corn," said Lem Williams,
as he took fresh chew; ''but if you
want TO see corn what is corn, you
just oughter 60 to Fort Bend. When
I was tarmin' down on the Brazos, in
that country, my corn grew SO tall
and thick that l had to hang lamps
on the mules ears TO see how to
pillow up furtow. 1t was corn ana
no mistake, and in the fall the stalks
were so high that / had to knock the
ears down with sassafras pole, darn
my skin, the ears were so big that it
tux strong man to carry more than
three OF 'em at time"
"Speakin' about strong men" re-
marked Bill Barker, 'sorter causes
me 10 remember an old steamboat
captain who used to run on the va
zoo river in '5S. One day he stopped
at landing for some wood, and the
niggers were kinder slow about bring
ing it aboard Old Judkins, the cap
tain, reused up and cussed everythin'
in reach. Says he, walking up to
the wood pile whar the niggers were
at work, Pile ON your timber, yer
onery skunks, and lie me show yer how
The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1881-05-25
WISHING.

John b. SGre.
OF all amusements for the mind,
From logic down to fishing,
There isn't one that you can ind
So very cheap as wishing"
A very choice diversion too,
If we but rightly use it,
And not, as we are apt to do,
Pervert it and abuse it.
1 wish-a common wish, indeed
My purse were somewhat fatter,
That might cheer the child OF neeu,
And not my pride to tlatter;
That might make oppression reel,
As only gold can make 1t,
And break the tyrants rod OF steer
AS only gold can break 1t.
wish-that sympathy and love,
And every human passion
That had its origin above,
Would come and keep in fashion;
That scorn, and jealousy and hate,
And every base emotion
Were buried fifty fathoms deep
Beneath the waves of oceanl
1 wish-that friends were always true,
And motives always pure;
1 wish the good were not so few,
wish the bad were fewer;
1 wish that persons meier forgot
To heed their pious teaching;
1 wish that practicing was not
So different from preachingl
1 wish-that modest worth might be
Appraised with truth and candor;
| wish that innocence were free
From treachery and SANDER;
wish that men their VOWS would mind;
That women meier were rovers;
l wish that wives were always kind,
And husbands always lovers!
wish-in 1ine-that joy and mirth,
And every good ideal,
May come erewhile throughout the earth
And be the glorious real;
Till God shall every creature bless
With his supremest blessing,
And hope be lost in happiness,
And wishing in possessing
The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1881-05-25
MAY 20.
LEGAL ADVERTISEMENT.
HOMESTEAD NOTICE.
Land Office al

Gainesville, Fla, May 6, 1881. {
NOTICE is hereby given that the follow
named settler has filed notice of his
intention to make final proof in support
Of his claim, and secure final entry there
of at the expiration of thirty days from
date of this notice, VIZ: James Fulce,
Homestead, No; 2745, before }. W. Dickins.
on Saturday, June IS, 1881, for the south
east of northwest ! and northeast of
southwest /. section "a, tOwnship17 south.
range 80 east. and names the following as
his witnesses viz: David Wic&ham, R0bt.
Smith. A. G, Lagoon and VIM. Rollins all
of DeLand, Fla.
L. A. BARNES,
157 I61 Register.
The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1881-05-25
DEMONSTRATORS Notice

NOTICE is hereby given that after six
~ months publication of this notice l will
present my vouchers and final account as adj
ministIator of the estate of the late William
BayleS, late ofthe County of Volusia, deceased,
to the County Court of the County of Volusia
and apply to to the Judge of the said court to
be discharged from my duties as such admin
istrator. II. i. CORWIN, Administrator,
Daytona, Fla
Enterprise, Fla, March, sth, ISL. 14S-I73
The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1881-05-25
IN THE CIRCUIT COURT FOR
the 18th Judicial Circuit of Florida.
Volusa County.
IN CHANCERY.

VS.. Divorce.
Charlotte Bowman,
1t appearing to the satisfaction of the Court
from the affidavit of complaint, herein filed,
that the defendant Charlotte Bowman resides
beyond the limits of the State of Florida, In
one of the United States, to the complainant
unknown. 1t is ordered that II hearing upon
the facts, charged in the complanants BILL be
had on the LIST Monday in August next; and if
the defendant shall fail to appear, plead.
answer or demur to said bill, on or before
said day decree pro-confesso will be entered
against her and the case proceed erparte
And it is further ordered that IL copy of this
order be published in THE FLORIDA AGRICUI-
TURIsT for space of three months before the
day for said hearing.
Given under my hand and seal at
seo1} Enterprise, on this 2Sth day of April
1881, JNO. w. DICKINS,
w. r. ANSo,
Complainants Solicitor, 155 1G7
The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1881-05-25

"There, that explains where my
clothes-line went TO-" exclaimed an
Iowa woman, as she found her hus-
band hanging in the stable.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1881-07-08

I
4 NJ. Ehtof In an issue of the Times o
Me- in "I1'no apIeared a., I'm from
a,ed him to rcsis,m his peaitia 7 a mS oun IN
n''esi"nef > iihe Nh i.age am ayerse I,
"''ng "Pps'flnS ~ P4ohc print but as
.,,.,,. r.. 49, - M, ny county oulclt!s,
no r..;,,,,,ii,,, ~ H. '"e PioN oealoh iof
49,. VI ~ aBei ueem II my
iV ~ ~ 70 correct some errors into
HHt'A MI. rage has uuinttuIiOnallv fallen
buf tf. .lpatit ,,,s-,,,tt No.. ~'''
.,,s,,i,, III, " ''if seeming at-
EuNtdoh' with all TAR minded citizens of
naNIug DraCticel ;luy fraud
~ = . -
IN lht Ilsl place AIr, Pdge refers 10 motion
introduced hv hm and tuanimousIv c.rricd
rcqursfing the officers NJ tI,o f,t.,;t :, -
Rtis,er ~ van =, -, ~ ''' NOul anu
~ 49, y - - ~ present tHelr accounts ON
i''s. I'2 VI thtl meeting III order that
,"eN lhlIht nave TINE to investigate them !
happened TO be present ut the time the said
motion WAS made and remarked that such a
request would very much inconvenience me
as / wished to attend sale the next day
( "Wednesday, aud was compelled TO 90 10 XII.
timofe the following day ,Tbursda2 rr,rsa-
qucntly would have bat Little time ~ andit
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1881-07-08
A Lnrse Purchase.

The Philadelphia papers claim that Mr.
Diston, prominent manufacturer
of that city, on Thursday week closed
contract with the proper State author
tiles for the purchase OF 1900, 900 acres of
land in Florida. 1t is said that the
land is va liable, and that Mr.. Disten be-
came well acquitted with its value through
his large interests in the State and from his
connection with the Eycrglade scheme. The
tract is situated north Of Lake 0keechobee,
and is nearly all below the frost line. The
amount paid has not been made public, but it
is to be very large sum in cash. 1t is Mr..
Djs,on' 5 intention to at once begin an etnigra-
ton scheme which will result in very large
addition 10 the population Of Florida. Il
this end, it is said, he has already established
agencies in several places in this country, and
will at once organize emigrant bureaus ir
England, Scotland, France. Germany, ilol-
/ land and Italy.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1881-07-08

Mr. Eiior An attehe Of the Times has
entered upon q learned disquisiton of the
comet, and, 70 show his erudition more plain
ly, he contrasts it with theories advanced by
IDIOTS What success will attend his efforts
viii depend upon the favor which they receive
Al the hands Of those who are forced to read
what emauttes undigested from his erammed
nav but OF this, am well assured that
he, having thrown off the shackles of devil.
dom, has entered an atmosphere which has
infected him With the Serbbling itch that
the many iudiscretions OF which he is guilty
prove thai he has more 'ear-wax than brains, y
that the Times has the honor of having an
egreglous tabricator and an ingenious caterer
10 public TASTE Who unfortunately dabbles
in science and promulgates idiotic theories.
FAIR PLAY.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1881-07-08
LOCUST THICKET."

situated about two miles northwest of
'tWhite Plains, . and about half mile from
the B. Il. p. R--R. This tract adjoins the
lands of George NJ. Berry, Mrs. Mary f. VIII
lett, William Wolf and the Heirs of Peter
Lammon, is improved by small DWELLING
HOUSE. and contains loo acers, more or less
Lot No. ga small parcel Of Wood Land
S a. m Me- nG Fna = ngg aaolnRg the
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1881-07-08

~ 'ni' year graduates by Yale 60
= nave chosen The law as profession
that Of medicine, iofdiyinity. ana ! ~
alism. The small number who vsa, !, 'oar'
clerical honors is attributed 70 ~ =" al'e
'ne church does not afford field far ~ =.
'ous .ilef. B,shopres are few and tbe a.pir o'
numerous. likewise, the average salara rant
, ,'' tempting But this does not ac~ ! -
~ 'he siill smaller number Of sspiraa ,'an
- uonora end wealth that attach Il I'LL. = ~
nc true reason is that itrcqurc. ,a =
f'ia' Than any other profession m. lure
~ IS great, Int Skilled laborers az. g.. a'',
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1881-07-08

4 d senator Bayard is favoring the claim Of nh,
nartv e from % M lddieton. Del, for pension
I9er OF eighteen children incudinr ~ tne "a
tbe emi n inough there is doubt that Bro,
gyo,,m5 "a a. 1hion soldier, and is suffering from
wound In the leg, Yet some pconie 49, - ~ I.
t ms regeig ~ IN barroom hrawI aaG not on
MT Hayes kept lie Due as eo1nmissiono,. y
agriculture but now thai the stntase OF
W. MS ms attention 70 running garden Le,d
soI,e ~ III n me internal regions before he'd
"A Brooklyn man named Thomas pa,,..u
t ,ho9 u e ne naa anquished his mother-in.law
tafe. lie arose from the supper fabie tah ms
use he f. ana knocking her down with roliing
hla, leIt her lying on The floor and returned 10
hplsh MS meal IN peace. The old lndt, - ~
playing ,possum, however: for, watching her.
ehance, she bounded from the floor caught MIN
by the hair with her hands and scizing ~ if
aarienlar appendage between her teeth chez
ed a portion OF i from his head. Mr.. Power
VIII not be near as handsome but he " nj Lnot,,
mere iereeiter. Ato"
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1881-07-08

Up &c THE TIME OF GOING TO PRESS the condi-
ton of the President continues favorable
though not without danger, if not indeed
critical. But as long as there is life there is
hope and that hope Increases with every hour
of life.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1881-07-08
No. A tract of land called
"MORELANDS PROFIT

situated about half a mile from Piney Church,
and adjoining the lands of Miss Rebeeca Will
mer, Vim. IT, Moore, A W NARROW and
Mrs. Maria Berry, containing 81 acres, moEl
or less. This tract is improved by a SMAfsS
DIV 4sL1NG.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1881-07-08
e No. h.--A tFltcI OF THU t@kRAt1I
PART OF FRIENDSHIP .

situated on the public road leading fro1
Duffield 10 Piscataway, about two and hal
miles from the former place, containing 7Sl
acres, more or less.
Lot No. Ga parcel of land composed 4
ftVa tracts "a He'd
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1881-07-08

II is the opinion of Gen, Grant that when
Conkling resigned .'hp went home TO stay. 80
he did. The state So understood H. and VIII
see to 1t thar he staX>.-Nc,e loik IttbEHt
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1881-07-08
Mary /. land Independent.
THE ASSASSINATION

gree or shade Of political opinion Star
ding in the presence Of 50 awful q;
lamity, one must be dead to ull sens
blitics, WHO is not heartily thankful fl
the hope, though it Dc but hope, tba
the life Of the Chief Magistrate may b
spared to us. We would be less tlal
human if We did not pray for the life o
the father and husband, the tenderness
aud gcntleness Of whose private lifc la,
so suddenly been laid bare before tho
public, and we would be devoid Of pa
triotism did we not most earnestly I'M
plorc that 50 great a calamity as The
death Of the first citizen Of tie Rcpub-
lie might be ayertcd. And this not be-
cause Mr. Garfield is either the best
man in the country or the abest Exe-
ostre VIC have ever had, but because
lie is a man of kindly dispositions and
the Chief Magistrate, fairly and legally
elected 10 bis great office.
We do not say this because we con
slider the welfare Of nation is bound up
il the life Of Mr. Garfield or any other
ana" or set Of men. Had the worst
come we arc thankful 70 know that the
peace aud order q the - y would
A. da;lr Ln.;oe.. l;f. &c ,la5 '' nenn ~.
states would have gone, on equally pro
tccted by law and tie patriotism Of The
people II is not in this country as ~
the monarehies OF Europe whore too
assassination OF klng or Emperor
might precipitate revolution But here
,,,l.Ii,. eo,,v.nt oven tbouoh he
~ 0h1 l'""i'' N""'' 49,
be the highest, steps dom and out,
whether NJ tbe call Of tho Great Ruler
a. ...1 .r.l.
l'o u ~ 'u0 ''S'''''9 ''e u ",s''9a''''
ton another quietly steps INTO his
place and the wheels Of government
continue to move on as before.
But Notwithstanding the machinery
Of the government may and will thu.
continue out ,ardly aud to all appear
ancos to move on smoothly. vet such or
deals cannot be passed through without
some shock to the holy polite aud
some friction 70 the governmental pro
gress :" the right direction.
noas, Nm, ,ns s,rsaau. Of aar gov aavosn.
% "'s"'' me ",9 i''o'F''''" q P"ele servants
.,,nJin,, .ra,;,. .,.. ,''"s "''!'''
rims H.. = 49, L..,.., ~
o,,r nconlo md IN ,o.;.a ,.;I;. +.
FIRST contnry If onr ay;.t.,,...l.n \
hand of the a.s,sx;n boon r.,;..4 u..1.
Ill .. 49,.
p,os;l,n,
~ 9e'' '"lce Nilhih twenty
Npars Iln.s aut #,tl,or. ,..t;,, ~
'0 ''iS 'l'0i HittoH SHOW as