St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1881-03-18
Squibs.

During the terrible rains few weeks
since, little girl was much interested
in hearing her father read from his
morning paper that the Potomac river
had overflowed its banks, and submerg-
ed the southern part of Pennsylvania
Avenue in Washington. Some ques-
tions i'll school concerning the Potomac
river were given that day, and elected
the astonishing response that it had
"overtiowed all its banks, and covered
the whole state of Pennsylvania with
water ~
"What are you going to put in that
book ?" asked the delegate. "Time,"
replied the secretary. And then the
delegate, who was wise man, knew
that he was going to copy his minutes
into it.-[Bur. Hawkeye.
A Whitehall lady ran her last years
bonnet through a clothes-wringer, and
now she has the NEST stylish hat in
town. The ribbons and trimmings re-
semble watered silk, with smashed
soap bubbles on the strings and minia-
ture snow-ballS of starch clingipg TO the
tipsof the feather Whitehall Times.
New York's worlds fair still lags.
The fact is, New York wants walking
matches, not worlds fairs. In choosing
between two evils, she chooses the
greater.-[ Norristown Herald.
Ruskin says the greatest mystery of
life is 1.-THE corruption of even the sin
cerest religion which is not daily found
ed on rational, effective, humble and
helpful action" Most persons supposed
it was hash Norrstown Herald.
"Your son has teeming mind" said
an instructor to a parent who was not
exactly pleased with the goings-on Of
his off spring Eyes, I've noticed it.
He talks horse all the time. guess lie
has teaming mind fast enough. IN.
H. Register.
When Hermann was in Kentucky,
he did his card tricks, and after the
show tried in vain to find somebody to
play poker with him. But one man said
to him, ''If knew as much about cards
as you do, wouldn't waste time in the
show busness."-[ Boston Post.
The habit of American girls marrying
Italian counts has slackened up a little
of late. A life of following around
hand-Organ and passing the tamborine
for pennies is not as attractive as for
merly.- Turner's Falls Reporter.
A Galveston man, j. Hafney 10y name,
who is in the interior of the state, re-
ceived letter from his wife the other
day. 1t read: "DeaI husband, have
been very anxious about your personal
safety ever since | read of that cattle
train being wrecked"
Judge" said western lawyer,
"isn't e-q-ui the way to spell equinom-
ical p Il think So said the Judge,
but I'll look it up ia Webster's dictiOu-
ary.n He fnmbled over the pages for
five minutes, and then said in heat :
"Well, I've been a Webster man and
voted for him for president, but any
man that will write a dictionary and
leave out such common word as equi-
nomical can't have my vote any more"
When a Chicago little boy is bad and
his mamma orders him to stand in II
corner, he edges towards the door and
remarks : "Say, ma, is it corner in
lard or a corner in pork 2''-L n. Y. Com
mercial Advertiser.
Europe seems unnecessarily agitated
over trichinosis, but then she has had
one Diet of Worms, and does not care
to repeat the experience Boston
rauScrpt.
Senator Carpenter used to tell with
much gusto, says the Milwaukee Re
publican, a remark made by his sou
Paul several years ago. At a social eve
ming gathering at the Senator's house Il
guest inquired of the boy, ''Paul, what
do you intend to do when you grow to
be man r. "Well," answered the boy,
Il should like to drive a hack. but |
suppose | shall have to be Senator"
A New Orleans man lately cabled to
a friend in Cuba, '.Send me one or two
monkeys" The reply came back, ''Ship-
ped you 75; will send rest as soon as
fouDd.' The telegram had gone, Send
me I02 monkeys" The balance of y
has been cOuntermanded.
Freddy heard his mother wish for
more milk for cooking. Never mind,
\ mamma, he said most comtortingly,
"when grow to be a man, will buy
: you two cows, one for sweet milk aud
the other for sour"
.Do yOu really believe that an ass
; ever spoke to Balaam p gueried "A mau
a who prided himself on his intellect
Coleridge, to whom the question was
put, replied: "My friend, | have no
2 doubt whatever that the story is true,
= have been spoken to in the same way,