davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1881-05-24
axozANaE. sclNrIllAT1oNs


The gentleman who navigated tn
flst ark was no sailor. but he wa
supposed to Noah. thing. or two :
Glasgow Times.
Since Dsrnhardt's departure the de-
inand for bones in America is confn
ed almost exclusively to fertilizers,
-[Glasgow Times
Immortal souls are ore which God
heavcs into the furnace of the world
from which they emerge as priceless
gems or worthless dross.-[ Hartford
Herald.
Why is the man,who occupies the
seat next to Malone in the Senate
like the outer edge of space? Be-
cause he is next to nothing. See?---
Hartford Herald.
Prof. HsostsF; the astronomer, has
married widow. In the next few
weeks he will see more stars than he
has seen in the course Of his whole
life before Sunday Courier.
New York city is angry at Rhode
Island, aud is threatening to dump
the dirt off its streets into the bay
and make State twicc as large as
Little Rhody.-[ Breckenridge News.
%
Our editorial room is eighteen by
thirty-six feet. No one occupies il
but the writer; and there being plen-
ty Of room, there isn't better place
for some enterprising gentleman to
run lager beer saloon than this.
Estate journal.
The editors of the Progress ten Ter
their heartfelt thanks to DR.. l. A.
King for flask Of old Spts, Fru-
mentt, to be used for medicinal pur-
poses only. We know it is good be-
cause we have Smelt Of it, but as none
Of us have been sick yet it remains I'M
tapped.--[ Mel an Progress.
The South Kcntuckian says it is
this week suppressing large, juicy
Item" This is not right; the Ke !
tockian shoaid publish a "large juicy
item" onOe.-lState News, Post.
My, myi Can't you catch his
meaning? His item is two.hun-
lred -ponSi girl, and he sups juice
awhile and then lie presses awhile.
That's the way he sup-presscs his
'lsrgs Juicy item" Some people
can't see anything, II Dittoe.
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1881-05-24

Thefunny editorof tha Roekland
CouriengiFes the following example
Of the benefits of algebra.
We had, studied algebra in our
youth. We loved it, and used TO get
up nights to dig into its depths. We
had to, or else get our neeks twisted
by the teacher next day. In latter
years we find algebra OF vast service
TO US In our business. 1t helps us in
solving. many difficult problem.
For Instance, we will suppose we
owe our paper maker bill Ia very
tisnpposable case), and he writes 10
find out when we propose to pay
him something on account. We at
once brush up our algebraical infor-
nation, and the situation appears as
follows:
Let a represent the paper-maker,
b the papepS yourselves, 4 theamount
OF the bhl and the unknown guam
tity. Then the problem stands a
minus d and cplus b; Transporting.
according to the well.knowu rule in
such cases made and provided, we
get minus b and d, aud plus b,
which, by inversion. gives X, the in.
definite quantity, which is the date
when we shall make a remittance, II
il doesn't storm. We draw all this
out nicely oil clean sheet of paper
and forward 1t 10 our papcrmaker,
remarking that having received his
favor of the ETC., we beg 10 hand him
in reply tie inclosed etc, lie looks
II carefully over, sees that q, which is
himself. is minus b and d, which are
the paper aud the money to pay for
1T, and that 0. ourselves, are plus b,
the fifty reams of paper, more or
less, and that the quotient X. the in
definite qnan.ity. is a very Indefinite
quantity Indeed, and lie rubs his
aching head in daaed sort of way
and feebly insHacts. his book-keeper
NOT to draw Oh The Courier as before
directed, as they will probably re-
NIT in few days.
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1881-05-24
PlDUGAH AID ILIllBITHl0VI
RAILROAD.

SHORT AND DIRECT ROUTE TIC
Paducah. Cairo, Fulton, Rives, and
points In West Tennessee and
Southern Kentucky, Greensboro,
Louisville, Cincinnati. Indian
apolis, Pittsburgh, Washing
ingion. Baltimore, Phila-
delphia, New York and
Boston,
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1881-05-24

Theodore More had married eight
different women. So whenever he
Joined party of villagers in frolic
they welcomed him with "The More,
the marrier."
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1881-05-24
49, and Cured of Consumptiou.
cssrs. Craddock Il Co., 1882 Race ST..

Messrs. Craddock Il Co., 1882 Race ST.. ll
Philadelphia, Pa.
Gentlemen :-Plcasc send me twelve Lottles
of DR.. ii. JAMES CANNABIs INDICA, one each
OF Pills aud Ointment, for a friend OF mine
who is not expected to live; and as your medi-
cines cured inc OF Consumption some three
years ago, want him to try them, gained
fifteen pounds while ing the first three bot
ties, and know II is Just the thing for him.
Respectfully, j. Y. HULL,
This remedy speaks for ITSELF One bottle
will satisfy the most skeptical. There is not
a single symptom of Consumption that 1t does
not dissipatc ut once, and 1t will break up u
fresh cold in p honrs. $3.50 per pint bottle.
Address CRADDoBK Il 20, 1882 RaceH Phil
adeluha Pa. NAV II $50.
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1881-05-24

A SUBSCRIBER TO o Southwestern
newspaper died recently, leaving O
four years subscl iption anpaid. The
editor appeared at the grave and de-
posted in the coffin palm leaf fan,
linen coat, and Ia thermometer.
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1881-05-24
He Couldn't Help It.


couldn't help it,. A prominent and
dignified citizens was looking through
he ihird-story window OF block on
jefferson avenue, which he had
thoughts Of renting, when the idea
suddenly struck him to look into the
alley in the rear. He raised the sash
,Dfa window and peerej out upon ash
boxes, coal scuttles and barrels OF
straw without number, and was about
10 close his observations When the
sash came down with thud and
struck him behind the shoulders. In
ibis pright he fell to his knees. and
whie the solid half OF his body was
ALL tight the lighter was over the win
slow sill. In addition to the weight
.1t the sash any movement oil the body
Hvas accompanied by pain. The sash
could not he reached with his hands
freely enough to lift it, and it soon &C.
CURED to the prominent citizen that
he ought to have help. He could not
expect it from behind, for he was
alone in the store, but as he looked
down into the alley a boy came stump
ing along to find something worth
Juggling away.
"Hello. boy! hellol" called the citi-
zen.
"Hello yourselfl' cried the boy
"Sav how como rndor Tho window,
boro. / wan, 70 snosL ~ Won ),
mSot much yar don,," .brcllod
,ho o.,,;n - 80, A., NV 49,,
scut5Ios On nv head . ~ 'O''
"Rut T dnn,, man ,on ~
"MeI,ho No, I'm, v.n,.o ro, = 7h,a
foce ~ Won 70, oil ,bo, tSSbar d;s;
Won Got ont Of tho ;ros"
"Bov Iwan,t vo one boln "
"So doas vow .rn,i nanr ~, :, :
~ stand in viii M srob dnfIar o os rnu
arol" 'O'
81 nm c,roht IN ,b;s w;n,1ow and
want 70 10, ert "
mSo ,nonIJ n poo, ,,osno.,; ,,.
for ola ;nnL 10 Vii np. 90
won,hs ior ,h,,p, e
"Tf vou,ll come n, stairs .nd ho,r
mn IN; I'm a;vo vo,, = dail.rID +
"a dollsr, Van can,t NAV No
dollar storo m mo old nan, II Won
-,
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1881-05-24
aaSs!is s "a NJ !,. c. d ~
FreY, . .i'f,gsfcy,an md k y. ~,
N.o,sI a. D,.,fggisf.
,ssSN0NaMMANM

M.ryf.pa Sept. tSsp.--fAa j,sssy 90, non ,ca q.
hnt o. YesF remedy, iof 81 rumsfs AL h hisi
pcrisst csrs q @ W. have lns,r susfe.sr le~ ,rrv'
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1881-05-24

Why is the man,who occupies the
seat next to Malone in the Senate
like the outer edge of space? Be-
cause he is next to nothing. See?--
Hartford Herald.
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1881-05-24

East and West The shortest, quickest and
most direct line to Louisville, Cincinnati and
all Eastern points. At Owensboro Junction
for Owensboro; at Ellzabethtown with L 4 n,
Railroad; at Louisville with L.,C. Il J.. Rail-
Steamers for Cincinnati and the North and
East; j., NJ. ~ |. railroad for indianapolis,
Chicago aud the Northwest D. n M. railroad
farSt bouis and tho Wes..
II. J.HORTON.
Gen'l Passenger Agent, ElizabethtOwn, Ky.
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1881-05-24

New York city is angry at Rhode
Island, aud is threatening to dump
the dirt off its streets into the bay
snd make State twice as large as
Little Rhody.-[ Breckenridge News.
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1881-05-24

Immortal souls are ore which God
hcavcs into the furnace of the world
from which they emerge as priceless
gems or worthless dross.-[ Hartford
Herald,
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1881-01-25
Sally Ray or LeadvilIe,

Mrs. Sarah Ray arrived in Buffalo. the
other day, from Leadville. on her way 20
New Y ork. whether she had gone for the
purpose of locating her daughter. Cora, in
a. school. and arranging for the future
care of little Mexican girl whom she had
in charge. Mrs. Ray has history, which,
If published, would read like 9 romance.
She has dug in mines. fought in wars with
Indians side by side with her her husband
secured the plains on horseback as a
scout, and became an expert in the bust
ness: help found the City Of Leadville,
being the first white woman who ever
dared venture there, mapped out roads,
built houses. took in washing from the
Leadville miners. and is to-day in possess
sion OF fortune that pays her an income of
$4,000 year.
A. reporter paid her a call as she sat In
Central palace car waiting for the train
to start. He found her occupying q seat
facing her daughter Cora, and around
her was piled numerous bundles of lug-
gage. She expressed herself as glad to
grant an interview, and pleasantly said
Sit down there by Cora and will talk
with you, Cora is a handsome girl of
about seventeen summers, and as she as
sented to the proposition. the reporter did
not deliberate but.readily took a seat by
her side.
Mrs. Ray commenced by saying, with a
hearty laugh: Now. / % not going to tell
Eou how old am, for I may want to get
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1881-01-25

married again when l get to New, York. "
Then she went on to saythat she came
from the north of Ireland to New York
city when she was fifteen. and married
book keeper named Joseph Ordway. her
husband died year later, and she went to
Leavenworth. Kas., from thence to Dem
yer, and finally in 1876 to Leadville: In
Denver she married a miner named Frank
Ray, but he died soon after,
She told Row in Leadville she braved
the dangers and storms OF winters before
there were buildings there to inhabit; how
Cora had to be kept wrapped up in heavy
blankets to keep her from freezing, while
she pursued her task OF building hut;
how, when the place became settled. she
saw the land she had taken up turn into a
fortune, etc She owns buildings 10 Lead
VILE that rent for So 900 month.
Her career has been peculiarly event
ful and exciting one. and one that would
bear a more extended notice than can we'll
be given in a single issue of daily paper.
She grew eloquent as she related her ad-
ventures, and her eyes spsrkled as she
said:
Il saw Ely old man once sit on a horse
and shoot seven Indians without stopping.
And I've done something like it myself,
Young man." she added. with quiet
twinkle in her eye, I've shot more Indi-
ans than you've got fingers and toes. You
wouldn't think, to look at me. would you
that I've gone out on the mountain side
up to my waist in snow. and staked out thu
streets of Leadville2 But it's gospe
truth.
She said she didn't know how long she
would stay in New York. Her property
| in Lsadvile was attended to by agents
and she felt perfectly content to stay away
| lust as long as she felt disposed.
She is now about fifty years old. weighi
about 40 pounds, and is rugged and
chiaper AS she babe the reporter good
day che remarked that she was happy
and was going to try and make others sc
during her remaining years.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1881-01-25

Mr.. Bedford. M. q. from Colorado, is q
republican, but served notice on bis
party in congress last Saturday, that il
the Republican party of the east did net
look out they would estrange the Re
pubIicans Of the west, wh9 would join
the party who came nearest subscribing
the interest of the western people. Said
he
Il want to say to my Republican friends
of the east that the time has come when.
if the single standard of theory is to be
tue policy of the Republican party, we 10
the west will revolt against their banner.
We recognize silver as the money of the
constitution, the money which was honor
ed and respected in the states before the
constitution was adopted. Ii it is right to
protect pig iron in Pennsylvania, sugar in
Loulsiana and copper 10 Michigan. it is
right to protect the silver products of the
west. We will bow neither to the golden
headed image of New York nor the iron
footed image of Pennsylvania. and if our
rights are not respected we will march
under the banner of that party which ae
cords to the great silver interests of the
west a decent and honest recognition.
tApplause on the democratic side
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1881-01-25
WOMEN:

LeucoIfhea. Excessive Flowing, Painfn.
Monthly Periods, Suppressions wien from I'M
natural causes, Irregularities Weak Back, Prolap-
Falling of the Uterus Anterversion anc
Retroyersion, Bearing down Sensations, Interna
Heat, Nervous Depression, Debility, Desponden
threatened Miscarriage, Chran c Congestion ,Inha,
nation and liberation of the Uterus, Impo-
tenoy, Barrenness, or Sterility, and Female, Weak
ness.
Added to these are the pangs. the troubles, the
wearing strain of maternity. and which often do
more toward breaking her constitution and weak
ening he for other efforts than all else of her labor
and duties 1t is in this direction that
one often discovers that which it most pitiful in
the life of such woman She labors On through
tire period of CESSATION the last possiD moment.
often over eXerting herself, and ofteu doing her
and her offspring irreperable Injury. The result of
all this Ia that The mother thai period of life
whom che ST. oulG pess he threshold of vigorous
and cheerful old age. Is often broken down and,
after a year two of inteicrable suffering IL hur
ried of 10 tn nearest chnrchyard
A bottle or two of ShoreYs Investigator taken
during the year will not only make Wonan'e
life light and happy. but will cure permanently
most of her conn., plants. Sold by ell druggists at
one dolaF PEI large package Sold il Dea aoines
wholesale ard rf:St by
C. Ii Wal III u 90 and by druggists generally
FULLER 81 FULLER,
Wholesale Agents, Chicago.
Depot. 80 Cesar St, New York. 6-26nwf&w
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1881-01-25

The Revenue reformers are determined
to force vote on the Hurd bill for tariff
revision. and there il alarm in the Re-
publican camp. The western members are
some Of them, anxious to vote with the
Democrats for revenue reform. but the
Republican party having been SO bitter in
opposition to revenue reform during the
late election. they don't know how to get
around the charge OF inconsistency
Whether tbs Republicans support tariff
reform or not, the Democrats will continue
20 agitste this matter until reform Ii
secured. 1t is only q question OF time
when the people of the west and south
irrespective of past political affiliations.
will unite with the Democratic party Oh
tariff reform.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1881-01-25
9. =. I1UNBAR,S
FLUID
M AGN Z ST A.

Superior tc any English or American. d.
PLoMA WAS awarded to this Magnesia, by the
American Institute in 1852
This very useful and elegant preparation is used
as an Aperfent antc-acid in dyspepsia complai
attended with accidity with very great benefit. 1t
has the advantage over common Magnesia. in being
dissolved, and therefore not being liable to accu-
mulate in the bowels. It Is decidedly superior to
Carbonate of Soda or Potash, on account of its ap
orient quality.
This solution OF MGguesis Ia found particularly
beneficial as pleasing sedative and aperien in all
of irritation acidity of the stomach bile
complaints. infantie disorders, sickness.
An ounce or two of this solution speedily re-
moves heartburn, acrid eructaiions and sourness,
or irregular digestion.
The solution is of itself an aperient. but its laxA
tive properties can be much augmented by taking
with it, or directly after it, little lemon juice,
mixed with sugar and water, or even with cream
Of tartar, in this manner very agreeable efer-
vescent draugh can be safely taken at any time
The antisceptic qualities of this solution, owing
to tie presence of SO much carbonIc acid, have
been found very valuable in putrid and other fe-
yer. AS lotion for the mouth, it sweetens the
breath, and the Magncsia cleans the teeth from
tartar.
removing hts spasms aud headache to which DELI
cate persons subject from acids and crudites OF
the stomach and bowels,
The attention of the public particularly direct
ed to the following certificates of physicians and
New HAVEN, Feb. ~, IS g.
s. o. DUNBAR, "a, Dear Sir; most cheerfully
accord my testimony in favor Of y"ur Fluid
SAINT and efectual for correcting acdty Of the sto
mach end curing headache arising therefrom.
1t is resorted to by several members of y family
wherever suffering as above. and always with great
satisfaction and instantaneous relief
Your truly. JOHN A. BLAKE.
The subscriber having used the above article in
his family for years. lie happy to endorse this
estmony of Mr.. Blake IN his favCr
Hartford, Conn. REV. JOHN CIRCUIT.
PROVIDENCE, NOV. Il, 1S4S.
Mr. S. o. DUNBAR,-Dear Sir: | am happy to
hear that your preparation of fnfd Magncsia is
coming into general use. While 1t is more econo-
mical than other preparations of Fluid MagnesIa,
have found ii vastly more effcienr, and not only
an antiseptic and anti-acid upon the stomach but
very considerable tonic. Ii is a beautiful mcdi-
cine for the bowel arrangement which SO often af-
fcts young children, and for females of debiita-
ted and sour stomach particu ry those encientic
ii is invaluable. Being scientific preparation and
open to the profession, it needs only acuRaint-
ance to become with them a favorite medicine.
VIM. GRosvEEoR, NJ d
S. o. DUNBAR-Dear Sir: / have been sometime
in the habit of prescribing the Fluid Magnesa pre-
pared by you and prefer it to the English prepar
atom on account of its cheapness and its superior
laxative qualities.
Respectfully yours, sc. MI PERRY NJ. D.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1881-01-25

Nervous Progtration, Brain Weakness, Sexual
Debility, Loss Of Manhood Weakness, Discharges,
General of Special Debility resulting from early
youthful ndircretfons, excessee vices irregular
tiles (often continued to more mature years) cured
by Wells Health REVIEWER greatest remedy on
earth for Impotence, Premature Decline, Sperma-
torrhns and all forms of debility. 81; six bottles
IS, at Druggists Advice free Depot, So Barclay
ST., New York. and for Rock Island at Bengston'e
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1881-01-25

Did you ever know any person to be i'll.
without ipaction of the Stomach, Liver
or kidneys. or did you ever know one who
vas we'll when either was obstructed or
inactive; and did you ever know or hear
of any case of the kind that Hop Bitters
would not cure. Ask your neighbor this
same question. Times
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1881-01-25

The proposed consolidation of all the
telsgraphic lines in the country under one
head, is the most gigantic stride toward
centraIizinR monopoly jet attempted. The
result Of this great combination can only
be to place the people at the mercy OF the
telegraph companies. while the latter will
be able to charge such rates as may suit
thar fancy
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1881-01-25
DE-. SHOREY'S
Kidney Investigator.

A SPECIFIC in the CURE Of ALL DISEASES
n OF the Kidneys, Bladder, PROSTATE Portion
of the Urinary Organs, Irritation of the neck Of
the Bladder, Burning Urine, Bright's Disease,
Gleet, Gonorrhee II all its stages, Mucous
Kidneys, frick Dust, Deposit, diabetes Infam-
alton alto Of the Kidneys and Bladder, Dropsy Of the
Region of the Bladder, Pain IL the hack, Urinary
Calculus: Renal Cole, Retention OF Urine. FIRE.
ouent Urination Gravel In all Its Forms, inability
to Retain the Water, particularly in persons advan.
ced in life The INVESTIGATOR restores the
Urine TO its natural color, removes the acid and
burning and the effect of the excessive of ntox-
icatipg Drink,
The following are among those diseases in which
SEES of
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1881-01-25

The contest for senator continues In
Pennsylvania with undated yigor and
bitterness. The Cameron and ants
Cameron slines are closely drawn. and
however the election may result. theirs
must remain bitterness offeeling between
factions The Democrats are practically
masters Of the situation.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1881-01-25

ana women are not admired. Ladies and gents
lacking flesh, vvacity. electric power VITAL brain
or nerve force; men injured by mental strain. ply
steal excuses, abuse, etc ; aged persons to retain
former vigor; all suffering fron nervous prostra-
tion should use wells Health Remover. - remark
able In preserving youthful condition. Greatest
remedy on earth for impotence. leannees. sexual
debility premature decline, etc 81 al Druggists.
Depot. SO Barclay street, New York, and for Rock
Island at Bengston's.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1881-01-25

For twelve hours, on Saturday, Nsw
York city. for the FIRST time since te,e, ,
pr.ph line we're introduced. was isolated
from communication with the outside
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1881-01-25
world

Senator Paddock. of Nebraska, who has
Just been defeated for sre-election. is one
the,.hardsst workers in the Q. s. senate
He refused to make certain pledges-
henee his defeat.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1881-01-25

The proposed new charter for Ne"
York City is creating great opposition In
the metropolis.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1881-01-25

A REGULAR Graduate OF British ana American
~ Institutes. IS years practice, the last years
in Davenport Treats all diseases of the Kidneys,
Liver Lungs, Heart, Throat and Nervous System
Errors of youth and abuses Of Manhood radio liy
cured even after others have failed. 500 forfeit
for any case OF Seminal Weakness, Nervous Debil-
ity, or Private Disease he undertakes and fails TO
cure. Ladies will find the most scientific treat
ment for all diseases peculiar to their ~ Com
sultation Free. Send for Circular, Lock box 2 o.
Ofiee 3i7 Perry st., Davenport, Iowa.