Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1881-07-27
THE HAWKEYE ALMANAC.
A New Catalogue Of the Signs Of the Weaths
lFrom the Burlington Hawkeye.1

(From the Burlington Hawkeye.l
1t is an easy matter enough to fore
cast the weather Like Prof. Tice and Mr..
Vennor, If people will only give their
minds to it. By closely reading and
studying the predictions of those great
weather breeders, we have deduced the
following rules, by which he makes all
his forecasts. Hind-casts of the weather
are not made until the next day.
An intensely blue sky indicates a
temporary absence of clouds. Under
other circumstances, again, an intensely
blew sky indicates tornado.
When woman leaves piece of soap
On the stairs where her husband will
tread upon it, it is dead sure sign of a
storm.
When the SUN rises behind bank Of
clouds, and the clouds hang low sill
around the horizon, and all over the sky,
and the air feels damp, and there is a
fine drizzling mist blowing. the in
dlcatlons are there will be a rain some
where IN the United States or Canada.
When it begins to thunder, look out
for lightning.
When man gets up in the night, and
feels along the top pantry-shel in the
dark, and knocks the big square bottle
without any label down to the floor and
breaks it, it is a sign there is going to be
dry spell until seven CIR eight O'clock
IN the morning.
When the spring millinery openings
are advertised, look fox bright sunny
weather all around the house, with
treacherous Gains and rising barometer,
indicative of sudden tempests and mean
temperature.
When the cradle begins to vibrate
with irregular, spasmodic motions about
one o'clock in the morning, look out for
signals and try to remember where you
put the paragoric the last time you
used it.
When the youngest boy in the family
comes home three hours after school
hours, with his HAHN wet and his shirt
wrong side out, look out for q spanking
breeze.
To see the head of the family feeling
III his right hand pocket, then in the left
hand pocket, then In all his vest pockets,
then in his hip pocket, tEen in his coat |
pockets, and then at his ceiling indicates
"no change"
Ii he suddenly stops whistIing at the |
ceiling and expands his face into a broad
grl1nace of delight, it means unexpect-
ed change"
Ii the spring bonnet comes home
trimmed on the right side for the
wearers seat In church, and has two
more springs and three more dandelions
than the bonnet of the woman in the
next pew, it is "set fair
The weather during the whole of
IL ,1r,,~,
An unusually large number of spiders
presages very mild or very open
winter, as the case may be.
1t the corn-husks are very thick, the
winter will be colder than the summer.
Ii the corn-husks are very thin, the
summer will be warmer than the winter
Ii the corn-husks are neither too thin
nor too thick, the summer will be warm
and the winter will be cold.
If the weather prophet predicts q |
rainy reason and it happens to rain way
out In Calaveras county, and it is dry as
q b one all over the rest of America, this
rain must be set down to the credit of
the weather-breeder, and all the drv |
time counts for nothing.
If the weather. breeder predicts very
dry month and the raging floods sweep
all the country in one wild, drowning
deluge except Newton Upper Falls,
Massachusetts, then people must say
that sure enough old Vennor said it was
going to be dry this month.
Still, it is just as well to bear in mind,
when you read the wild representations
of Mr.. Vennor and his great rival, that
rain fifteen hundred miles square no
more makes rainy day on this con-
tinent than fy-speck on the dome of
the capitol makes the District of Col
umbia, or even all of the dome, black.
Anybody can say, there will be rain
and thunder storms and cyclones in the
United States during July" and it would
be mighty safe thing to bet money on.
What we want, what the country clamors
for, is man who can tell us when and
where the cyclone is going to strike, and
whom it will hit. And up to date, that
man hasn't said word about the
weather.