Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1881-05-18
The Considerations That Induced Judge
Gnfiey TO Stay al Home AT Nights.


GnG'ey 10 Stay al Home at Nights.
Il say, Judge" said old Major DIFF
fendcnler to his particular crony, Judge
Gufity the other day, why haven't We
seen YOU down town o nights lately%
"Wcll-ahem--becn rather busy
replied the Judge, with some cmbar'
assmcnt.
Busy? Why, I've seen you reading
at your window every evening as
come down town after dinner"
Little sickness in the family" MUIR
INJURED the Judge, uneasily.
Sickness? Why you just said
your people were all WELL
"Wcll, the fact is, gentlemen, " said
the Judge, after a pause devoted to in
significant winks and nudges by the
select coterie of poker players, Of which
he was prominent member, "I'll tell
YOU Just how the case stands. Like the
rest of you old reprobates, l can stand
any ordinary domestic row, but Mrs.
Gufty sprang something on me the
other night--a new and deadly sort Of
reformation dodge that haven't got
over the effects of it yet, and there is
no knowing when / shall"
you don't say so.' exclaimed the
Owl Club in chorus, and moved up
closer,
yes, gentlemen. You all know
that I'm pretty tough-hided regarding
matrimonial remonstrances, and | can
find excuses for staying out late seven
nights a week with any married man
among you. For instance, few days
ago, | topped of Mrs. G's curtain lee
lures with the remark that it was al
most always the wife's fault if the hus-
band was not always domestically in
clincd that it was the absence Of
cheerful amusemcnts at home that led
them TO seek for them outside"
"Dovilish good theory, that" said
one old sinner, making a note on his
shirt cuff
80 l thought" continued the Judge,
especially as it made Mrs. G. so mad
she didn't speak for three days after
wards. But on the fourth day what do
you suppose happened Imagine my
establishment when put on my hat
after dinner, to come down here to the
Budwciscr saloon, TO meet YOU fellows,
Mrs. GutIey said, wait a minute,
Judge, please. just step down into the
basement"
Water pipes had sprung leak, |
suppose" said DifIenderfcr.
Il thought it was something of that
kind myself" rcjoined the Judge, "but
hope ! may never see the back of my
neck if didn't find the sitting room
carpet taken up, the floor sprinkled
with sand, and sort of temporary bar
erected in the corner. There was a
dozen Of small tables in the room
around which lot of loafers, that Mrs.
Guhey had contracted for at the cor
ner grocery, were sitting playing cards,
splitting into sawdust boxes, and drink
Ing beer. The liquor was served out
by my biggest boy, who was running
the bar in his shirt sleeves, and with a
big paste diamond my wife had gotten
down at the dollar store, on his breast.
There we're also number Of off
cheap chromoes around the walls, and
lunch counter, while in the corner a
couple Of red-nosed bummers were
quarreling over the election. | was
perfectly dumbfounded. / never felt
so cut up and disguised in my life, and
for a minute or two | almost believed ]
was down here with you fellows"
"Indeedw exclaimed the listeners,
grimly.
YES" continued the Judge, earn.
estly. "'What in the eternal blazee
does all this mean, nam 2 said J."
Archibald, says she, you were
talking about making home congenial
and amusing, and all that, and so ]
tried to fix up something that would
hit your regular recreation right here
instead of firing yourself with long
walk home after the cars have stopped
running every night. How would you
like to take hand at pedro with that
party in the corner2 His breath is
pretty strong but have especially en-.
gagged him as one Of the most proficient