The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1881-03-31
p1rH AND POINT.

~~>~~s~~S SSAS AAOS s~Ss~AA>A -
The only hand in this world which
blesses those who grasp it is full hand.
SMALL dishes are decorated so hand
somely now that pickles look unhappy
in them.
THERMOMETERS reform late In life /;
they never become temperate until near
" 60.
WHY is the American stage like the
American eagle? Because it has wings,
and flies, of course.
The principal Of young ladies' sem
mary in Syracuse has so exhaustingly
inflicted her pupils with :'sdeportment''
that, when left alone, her girls of l6 act
like sixty.
''Do you favor my suit % said Claude
to Angelina, the other day. Yes, was
the crushing reply, 81 look with more
favor on the new clothes than [ do on
tie owner"
EVEN the wisest is sometimes fool.
For example, the philosopher who wore
his spectacles when he was asleep that
he might recognize friends he might see
in his dreams.
INDIANA has a law to prevent weak
minded persons marrying. A crusty
bachelor insinuates that the weak mind
ed are the only persons who ever think
Of doing such thing.
FATHER TIME is pictured as an old
and bald-headed gentleman, but he man.
ages to skip around quite lively, all the
same, in spite Of being handicapped by
agricultural implements.
An exchange frantically asks: care
blacksmiths who make living by forg-
ing, or carpenters who do little coun-
terttting, any worse than men who sell
iron and steel for hving?"
A BACHELOR at banquet in New
castle, Eng, gave the following toast:
The women and coal of Durham coun-
ty. Oh, how desolate our tresides
would be without them |"
VENICE is the richest city in Italy-it
is almost free from debt. And with all
those canals, too The Venetian Alder
men and State Legislators are fearfully
behind the age.--Puck.
An impairment fop made sport of an
old farmers large nose, mouth, and
chin but the old farmer silenced him by
saying, Your nose, mouth, an chin
all had to be made small so at there'd
be material left for your cheek"
IT takes country school master for
shrewdness. When the weather is cold
and the school-house imperfectly heated
he puts the head of the class nearest
the stove, and then all the scholars work
like blazes to rank high in their studies.
A GENTLEMAN once remarked to witty
lady of his acquaintance that he must
have been born with silver spoon in
his mouth. She looked at him care
fully, and, noting the size of his mouth,
replied, II don't doubt it but it must
have been a soup-ladle.
AFTER all the evidence was in, a Gal
weston Judge asked the accused, who
was charged with stealing watch. if he
had anything more to offer. 81 did
have an old silver watch to offer you.
Jedge, but my lawyer borrowed it, and
hasn't brought it back yet. "-Galveston
NeWs. ....
MANY physicians claim that intemper-
ance is disease. It must be con-
tagious, then; at any rate, man who
gets drunk finally catches it when he
goes home. There may appear to be
some little discrepancy or contradio-
ton here, but we can't stop for that
now.
EYES," remarked q musical critic, re-
Gently from Kansas, "the fddlin' was
bully; but tell you when that fat chap
with the big mustache laid hold Of the
bass fiddle and went for them low notes
in the violin-cellar, just felt as if a
buzz-saw was q playin' Yankee Doodle
on my backbone"
TWAS Sunday eve and the small boy stood
With his eye to the keyhole pressed,
And he saw his sister Bessy's head
On Absalom Thomp-on's vest.
Then he ran to his parent stern and told,
And the parent stern replied:
There amt no harm in a vest; slide out"
But the lad refused to slide
There amt no harm in vest, know"
And his eyes flashed bright that minute,
But isn't it dangerous, dad, ~ he asked,
"When Absalom Thompson's in it?n
OUTRAGE by a policeman: Sam John
sing was up again yesterday. " What
brings you here this time?" asked the
Recorder. ode pliceman, sab de
same what brung me heah last time"
II mean what did you do?" 81 was
jess passin' grocery store, when I
hanging by de dore. I tuck de ham
uOWu W pun ~ SOlue"uaIeS WnaF IL
would be safe from folks Dustin their
brains out agin it, when de fust knowed
a pliceman tried to get de ham away
from me, and becase I wouldn't let de
ham go he jess brung me along, too"
How a Lawsuit Was Won.
A Galveston man met friend from
the country on the street.
"How do you come on?" exclaimed
the former. 's When last heard Of you
you had lawsuit on hand with Tom
Smith about fine horse. How did that
end ?"
st won it. I completely got away
with Tom. You see the Justice was the
most honest man in the world, so I wrote
him note asking him to accept the in
closed SIS BILL.
81 should think the Judge would have
ruled against you for trying to bride
him"
So he would if 1 had not been care
full to sign Tom Smiths name istead of
my own.
Our First Coins.
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