, 1881-02-04

of Justice-TAe natural daughter of Ven
geance lcGitimi2od by law.
A sick peasant motions fcobly to his
wife to approach his bedside, and whis-
pcrs painfully, II think, my dear, that
I could fancy little broth"
My dear, what do You want of broth I?
Hasn't the doctor just given you up?'
\ nice little gummy, pomaded, per-
fumed. gloved, wearing headlight in
his eye, is promenuding along the street
and happens to jostle another pedestrian,
who turns upon him ferociOusly and
cries:
"Ha, blow! Villain, you shall an.
swer for this ~
Il beg your pardon, | am sure" re-
plies the gummy; II did't see you, sir,
pom my honor; the fact is, | had my
glass Ill my eye"
Son to his fond father, who has asked
him where he is in his class now-"Oh,
pa, I've got much better place than |
had last quarter
Indeed Well, where are you?'
'Im fourteenth
Fourteenth, you little lazybones
y
that better place."
"Yes, sir; it's nearer the stove"
Two strangers enter cafe in remote
quarter and seat themselves at one of the
tables.
Waiter -- What will you have, gen.
tlemen?
Stranger, desiring to produce an effect
Have you any Apollyon water? Fresh
from the spring, mind
Waiter-I don't know, sir; I'll 60 and
inquire. (He goes.) m
Stranger, to companion - Precious
queer sort of a hole this is--precious
queer sort OF hole it must be, begad,
when q gentleman can't get a bottle of
Apollyon water. Not the sort of place
I'm used to. (The habitues are stricken
with shame.
Waiter, returning-Yes, sir; we have
lots of it. Fresh from the spring this
morning, sir.
Stranger !-well-brings us two
beers (The habitues regain their self
esteem.
Two hacks arrive simultaneously at tho
entrance of narrow lane.
First Charioteer Gnquiringly)-You
taken by the hour?
Second Charioteer (slowly)-No; by
the trip.
First Charioteer drawing up)-All
right, go ahead, I'm engaged by the
hour.
In the good days of Louis XIV the
grand daughter of Rose. one of the
Kings secretaries, was married to NJ.
de Portal, to whom she brought CON-
paratively small money dover of $1,000
crowns, though she was heiress to
large fortune. She had expected hus-
band of better birth and more agreeable
qualities, and was not only disappointed
but took no pains to conceal her disap-
pointment Her husband and father-in.
law went to complain to Rose, who said
he would see about the matter, but
didn't The young bride persevering in
her contumacious conduct, her grand
father was again appealed to and
promised to give her lecture, but he
didn't. Finally M. de Portal and his
pa appeared for third time with the
same complaint.
What" cried the old gentleman in
well-slmuiated fury, "does she show no
signs OF amendment? Confound the
wench Go home to her and tell her from
me that if ever / hear any more COM
plains about her unwifely conduct I'll
disinherit her."
They went. He nevor heard any
more complaints.
D., an abomlnable parvenu, has been
presented Mt fashionable mansion, has
dined there and departing has not been
heard from again for full month.
His hostess, who cordially detests
people of his sort, has solemnly vowed
to be revenged.
One evening the servant announced
him.
"How are you?" he says languidly;
'you see, was passing by the house and
seeing the windows all lighted up l
thought I'd run up stairs for q moment.
Well let this count for visit"
I'VE will let this count for several
visits, " says his hostess, icily, moving
away.