The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1881-07-07

How Jay Gould Made Himself
Handy About the House.

man, with pine burrs in mis- clothes
and stick of sassafras in his
mouth, approached and SAID:
"Be you the wild animal man,
mister?"
The proprietor of the "Double
Mammoth Mastodon Aggrega-
tion" admitted that such was the
| fact.
"Ther." proceeded the party
from the mountains, 81 think III
get you to make me an offer for q
arge-sized, healthy California lion
I've got"
"Good specimen, eh?' asked the
circus man.
"Good? Well, / should say so.
Measures eleven feet from the tip
of his nose to the tip of his tail.
Caught him myself when q cub
just four years old tomorrow"
"Hum-good appetizer
"Appetite2-Great Scott-appe
tite! Well, 1 should smile-that's
Just why Pm parting with JAY
call him Jay Gould because lie takes
everything in. If it wasn't for his
appetite, and the queer little things
it makes him do, / wouldn't part
with Gould for fortune"
Savage, eh?"
swell, no; 1 don't know as l
should call Jay savage, exactly
sorter nibblish, though, may be.
Has a kinder habit of gnawing up
things, SO to speak. In fact, the
neighbors-I live up at Bladder's
Peak-have gotten to be so fussy
and particular OF late that l can't
so much as unchain j. g. for little
fresh air without their getting
grumpey over it?'
"There's no pleasing some peo-
ple," said the hippodromer.
81 should say not. Now, FIRM
stance, bout three months after Jay
got to be as big as boarding house
sofa, 1 came home one day from a
picnic and found he had eaten up
old Aunt Maria, who had been left
at home to mind the house-least-
wise she was nowhere to be found
and as Jay Gould seemed sorter
bulgy like, and kept coughing up
hairpins and false teeth for day
or two, we kinder suspicioned the
whole thing"
Maternal aunt9" inquired the
Snowman, thoughtfully.
EXACTLY. Ny wife took on
dreadfulIv at first, and wanted me
to shoot Jay right of. But l told
her that he probably suffered
good deal as it was, and that as
most likely he'd catch rheumatism
and things from the remains, weo
better cali it square"
"And did she?"
swell, she kinder got reconcileo
after a while, especially as Jay
seemed fond of playing with the
children. One morning soon attel
that my wife's mother-whole
family lived with me, you see
didn't come to breakfast. AS al
her false hair was hanging over
chair back, and Gould crawled ou'
from under the bed licking hi;
chops, and with his tongue gooo
deal coated-mother-in law was
always taking things for the liver
complaint-we saw at once that th'
heavy hand of aff1iction was agaif
upon u.s." 20,
Looked that way, didn't itT'
"Well, as you may suppose, the
old lady-that's my wife-prancec
around a good deal then, and go
down the breech-loader right away
But lust then arrived gold media
from the S. P. G. A. Society
on account of my forbarance in th'
Amt Maria business, and so l go
her calmed down after while"
"Pacified her, eh?"
Yes; 1 managed to arrange
reprieve for Jay, somehow. Yo'
see. L was always awful fond OF pets
and tender hearted, and all that
YOU understand. l argued that tn
moor animal didn't know that b
! was doing wrong-merciful man
, merciful to his beast, etc., etc
, That smoothed things over 10
. another month"
= "What happened thenr'
: .sWell, one day 1 sent Tommy
: our Youngest boy, down to the stor
t for some sugar, and he took Goul'
f along for company. Now, whethe
Q it was because Jay was fond O
sugar, or not, don't know, but h
came home alone, and as soon a
we noticed a peculiar kind of bulg
on his rib, about as big as Tommy
we concluded that the dread arche
had marked another Skidmore-m
D name is Skidmore-for his OWE
The whole family took on like mao
and Mrs. Skidmore was about {
4 shove the powder keg under j. {
j and touch il off berself, when
Il pointed out that it wouldn't do t
y desecrate our offspring's tomb |
# that way. So l just had the burls
e service read over the lion, and tie
e crane round his neck for thlrt
b DAYS. How does that strike your
e "After that you kept the animi
: chainedr"
s "Well, no. The fact is l set OF
t to get chain several times, ot
g one thing and another prevented
b until one day last week l actuall
y missed the old lady herself.
, looked around for her for coupl
It of days, when somehow of sudde
y l sorter inteutioned where she wa
y 1 gave Gould about half pound
emetic right away, but all we coul
;: get out of him was pair of higf
e heeled shoes and a chest protecto
|, 1t was too late-too latei We pU
It the shoes and things in the coffil
|. and had Jay led behind the hears
d to the cemetery. Wanted to hav
a as much of the corpse present a
a possible-don't you see2 We ha
n the animal all decorated with flower
y and things, as fine as you pleas
Folks said it was the touchinges
a thing that ever took place in theI
e parts" and the bereaved husban
d. sighed heavily.
= "Don't wonder you want to sc
1t the beast" remarked the menageri
e man, after pause.
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