Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1881-09-14
AN ESTEEMED CONTEMPORARY


tionary's pipe. 81 throw ink on the
Up Gulch Shorter at Deadwood, and
you bet | make some reading matter
for the boys. Get the Shorter ON ex-
change here?"
81 think not" replied the editor
Don't know that ever heard of it. :"
you amt been long in the ink bust
ness, have voc ?" asked the stranger
quickly. you don't seem to be up in
the literature of the day. The Shorter
throws more influence TO the square
foot than all the papers in Deadwood.
Let me show you the style of that pc
riodical, and he drew file of back
numbers out of his pocket. "See them
advertisements All cash. Meeting
Of County board fist fight in the Com
mon Council mine caved in on nine
teen men four women lynched; May
or of town convicted Of burglary raid
by Indians-all live news items. See
the editorial? That is what say
about the Rapid City Enterprise ;
The distinguished consideration in
which we hold the three-ply jackass
who edits our noxious contemporary is
only equaled by the rapidity with
which the tumble-bugs will roll him
out of town in the spring. Spicy, eh ,
you bet! There's some poetry. Wrote
it myself Made it up out of my head,
How's this?
The radicals have nominated
That lousy, drunken dissipatOd,
Cock-eyed horse-thiof, Jim McFadlsu,
Our candidate il Fatty Madden.
And We elected him. too, for old
stock! We 90 in for poetry Out our
way, from way back
We don't Ito it in just that way
here" said the Eagle editor with a
smile. Our folks"
That's where you're Off You
haven't educated your folks up to high
taste. Where | live we're cultured
clear to the roof Here's my remark,
about the editor of the Nermllion Re
peater, when he wanted to split the
Territory: We don't want to reflect
on the press, but we are compelled to
say the editor of the Repeater has
stolen Government mules 50 long for
living that he begins TO hattcr himself
that he, too, is d ass = That
busted his business.
But don't the other editors ever
pitch into YOU asked the Eagle,
rather astonishcd at thi, revelation in
journalism.
you Just bet, pardner Then we
get back in this way. This is some
poetry on the Fargo News man for say
ing that | learned TO read and write in
the Wisconsin peniteniary. Listen to
this:
There old clam up in Fargo
Who buys all his rum by the cargo,
lie gets drunk and spews
And calls It the News,
And the whole gang 70 the bar 60
II haven't heard from him since,
but he'll get around to me by-and-by.
Here's little criticism on our opera
house that was regarded very highly
when it was pupped Manager Whit
ney is giving high-tonder perform
ancc than our citizens have right to
expect for two bits. He has engaged
the beautiful Gambetta for two weeks,
and for high, artistic kicking she has
10 peeress. Her standing jump shows
careful thought and study, and her
toe-whirls are Unprecedented in the
history Of the ballet Mr.. Whitney has
shored up the east end Of his minstrel
troupe with the Justly celebrated Pat
sey Maginnis, the best bones Of modern
eras We are sorry TO chronicle a row
ut this temple OF Thespian virtue last
night, and we recommend Manager
Whitney, if Shang Johnson comes
monkeying around there again, to
crack his nut with bottle And he
did it, too. It shows the power of the
press
How are YOU on the political ques-
tions?' asked the Eagle.
We'll, We purport to be Democratic,
but men makes II difference. 1t de-
ponds on who's nominated. We sup
ported Klingman for City Marshal,
though he's Republican. We got
around it in this way. We said
While the radical party is pig-headed
as freight mule on all questions of
Importance, yet we have pledge from
Tom Klingman that he will not use
the office of Marshal to affect the tariff,
and We will bet s400 to $50 that he
will 90 through the canvass as a Cor
IL Al. a