The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1881-07-07
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VARIETY SCRAPS.

A Chicago man wants to know when the new
Bible goes into effect,
A man is growing wise when he begins to know
what he doesn't know.
Men who like to see themselves in print are
supposed to have the type us fever.
A cameo of base ball is like buckwheat cake
great deal depends on the batter.
There rs a "crab orchard" in Kentucky. We
suppose the fruit is generally backward,
THAT is what call coup de grass" said
man who was knocked down by bale Of hay,
The evening had been convivial. "And now,
gentlemen" said the chairman, "I'll protose
post"
"Did you call your brother liarH" asked the
stem parent, and the cllprlt replied "Well, l
said he was book agent"
"Charlie," inquired the Sunday school teacher,
what did Gideon do2" BEAT one Of the best
uotIers on the track" triumphantly replied the
young whip.
We shall soon begin to realize the force o. the
ancieLt remark, 1.-THE poor ye have always with
you" because the rich will be always off for the
summer resort,
Beecher says that Hades is State rather than a
place, He doesn't say what State, but go to
I xas' has always been considered synonymous
with that other proiane Injunction.
"A scientist named MivaIt will soon issue
work on the cat" says the New Haven Register.
We've done that already. 1t was heavy COPY Of
ha arn5g mud 4 10
story window, and we took her right between the
shoulders, and we hope 1t broke her blamed back
In days Of yore, the poets pen,
From wings Of bird was plundered-
Perhaps from goose, but now then
From loves bold eagle sunder'd.
But now the pen is made Of steel,
And when the poets loose,
The folks who see him oftsn feel
That he himselfs the goose.
Not often beat-boarding house beefsteak.
last solemn write-making the will,
The experienced gambler has winning way.
It's the poor cook that leaves many things un.
done.
good business motto Attend to that which
concerns yourself, etc."
There is altogether too much bad money and
blood in circulation.
Even the very least that can be said is fire.
quently oVer-suiiClent.
Action speaksplainer than words when 1t comes
to performing on the stage.
sWOrn enemies-the plaintiff and defendant In
an assault and battery case when under oath.
Jumping at a conclusion-A dog trying to catch
his own tail.
fair proposal-When young lady improves
the prerogatve allowed her during leap year and
pops the question.
Didn't know 1t was loaded" as the mex
pelienced speculator said when "taken in" on a
"doCtored' mine.
A great many men are like a rocking horse
They are always on the 90, but never get ahead
The heat is expanding everything except the
time for thirty day note,
An unhealthy site was chosen for the White
House to giVethe Vice Presidenta chance.
Clarence Cook says what shall we do with
our wallH' II they are oaterWaula throw boot.
jacks al them.
1t does not follow that young lady Is q fine
performer upon the plano because she plays In a
beautiful manner.
The musical people Of Cincinnati abuse Theo.
dore Thomas because he refuses to beat time with
ham when conducting concert In that city.
1t is said the German word "phngsten" comes
from the old Greek 'pentecoste." Yes, and dys.
pepsla comes from sauerkraut,
Out West man was recently shot deed because
he wouldn't pray. Let us get the artilltry out
and have general revival.
San Francisco clothing merchant displays
the sign; "DO not go somewhere else to be rob.
bed walk In here"
"Are you the chief engineer Of this conCern2'
asked an excited Individual Of the news editor
this morning. mo, sir I'm not the engineer, I'm
the boiler" and he proceeded to boil down" six
sheets OF manifold into briefs.
When youth we were taught that a swallow
was the sign Of summer; we have since learned
that 1t was false teaching we then received, as q
swallow Is the first sign Of a fall,
A young man who came here from the west
Thought he'e like in some stocks to invest;
So to Wall street he went
And soon lost every cent;
In Potter's field now he's at rest.
wit and Wisdom.
Another youth-lsn't II iunny2-
A..