The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1881-01-06
A B00k...3gent Tackles a Roard;urs
.a House Keeper. Z.

s House Keeper.
Yesterday morning man with, thu.
4 aspect of q book agent walked swiftly u,5
Magazine street.until 10 came opposite &
house where .sd.lieaded woman with q
long nose and her.sleeyes rolled; up was
washing the windows. rs
"ls this q boarding house, madam Y,,3
he said, gently. as .he leaned ,his elbow
on the fence and looked over In The ward
Yes sir ]" replied the woman.
Can 1 obtais desirable board here al
areasonc bic. .rnte?" Ti
s"Ye7 sir; there is no betterihouse' in.
Can | sec the landlady.Y"
II am the lady, sir" if] &
"Ah indeed. I have often heard or
the beauty and industry of tbe.women OF
New Orleans, but now I have an occular
demonstration of the fact"
do you wish to secure board here ~;
ir- pleased. .'N ~ 8
""Well, l reckon do. Have you any}
OLD maids in!the house who wear gimlel
curis and have pet parrots that talk all
n'Snt and worry the life out of people ?
Are there any babies here who are always
having the collie and howling enough 10
MAKE man run crazy? Madam, I am
very particular wliet, board, as the last
place stopped atpiy room was situated
between that of q Young woman who had
% pair Of twin babies and a musician
who played on the flute and walked with
crutch, and when the babies became
quiet on one side the Internal c,,ss on the
other would either be Humping over the
floor or playing ON the flute, until at last
could stand it no longer. Are any Of
these bonrding-housc pests stopping With
your" ~
board here"
"Ah, that is surely fine recommended
tion, but do you set fine table7"
Yes, OF course do" replied the wo.
man. gettil angry, what elee do you
want to KIN. ?'
what prompted me to ask you The
question was the fact that eyery board-
lng'house falls into the error of giving its
ooarders tough liver for breakfast. which
Is something detest. When q man GETS
up IN the morning lie doesn't feel like
Trying to eat spring mattress, conse-
quently l made it point to hunt up s
house where the borders are not SO
cursed. A man can stand goldfish balls
very well, but human nature, madam, is
for from being equal to tough liver .hras
times day. II you recollect, 1 said be-
lore am very particular where I board.
Madam, are you married woman ~
"Yes, l am, and Pm tired of answering
your questions. IF you don't want hoard
here just get away" and the excited land
lady slushed the soap.suds over the win
dow panes, and made her brush fly like
gin saw. The man still leaned. on The
fence and gazed ut her steadily.
Madam, ! see yon have tcmpe. be
remarked, when she turned around to SEQ
if he hhd gone; land temper. when IL
is not controlled, often creates a great
deal OF misery and no eud of. divorce
suits. I've no doubt that wien irritated
by household duties and carrs, that yon
often give your husband sound yebuk.
ing, and IT he is prematurely bald,
headed man. its your own fault; vet Won
are cot to blame for that which nature
endowed you with. But this trouble can
be o6vintea. 1 have here, madam" and
ne dived into square.shaped box, s'a
valuable work entitled, Home Made
Hrppy, or The Domestic Guide This
exceilent volume will sell you for the
sum OF fity cents. AS / previously re-
marked, you cannot be blamed for, Your
temper. Every red.headed woman with
long nose and brown wart under her
left eye, has sour temper, but If YOU
will only. follow the suggestions laid
down in the book, your home will be q.
paradise, and 80 :
IF You don'tlleave ileTe,gi impn-
dent puppy; I'll call the police. want
you to-"
Bear in mind, madam, that no matter
how ugly yon are, o good disposition
makes any woman angelic, and----p
'"Ain't you going t. leave, you despi-
cable villain, you bandy,legged-p l5
although you are shaped like Ion.
sided triangle and have ffeckles On your
face as large as ginger snap----''
The next instant u shrek was heard
and the book agent was stretched fat on !
the pavement with bucket Of scap-sudg
on the top Of him and small dog snau. (.
ping st his heels.-NsiD Orleans Times.