The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1881-12-24
Miscellaneous Items.


usually wasted IN apologies the other half IN
Complaints about neglected letters.
y ST. LOCfs paper says % When q Chicago
preacher wants new church all biz own, and a
big congregation, be has himself convicted Of
heresy
\ POET -uys &c Into each life some rain must
fall This - particularly the case when some
fellow has stolen your umbrella.
PsTrr thinks of giving her first concert at the
New York Stock Exchange. She mas heard that
the price Of seats there is $50 900 each
THE man with a corn who imprudeutly kicks
old hat OF the sidewalk not knowing there
- brick inside Of it. appreciate the feelings
OF the French IN Tunis.
% THEEE IL a pleasure 10 the pathIess woods -
you can just wager there about this time Of
year. But u - awful hard work 30 throw clubs
az chestnut tree all day and then have the
owner or the wood crpturc all the chcstnuts, on
threat of SUNG lor tre-pa-s.
VI. BLtvc started in life poor anil friendIess,
hut, with u pluck and courage which nothing
could dauut, be applied himself 10 the gaming
table. where. by uuweary patience and industry
be ama--ed urtune Of $50. 900 600. To the
poor and friendless boy OF America his successful
career affords encouraging and valuable example.
% Pa. DO horses run away with wagons be-
cause they love 'em2~ % Well, I should -ay
noe but what put that absurd notion into YOUR
small hrnd. my SON - Why. pa, IT. in the
paper. When horse runs away. the paper says
hur-c attached % a wagon.
For buying q haIfpiut Of ca-tor-Oil from a
BnycOtted stOrekeeper. an Irish llrmer was made
o. swallow il himself. though he wanted il for
suck COW. Next day, to be even with tile
Leaguers. be bought bottle Of old p0teen for
the SHINE purpose but the Leaguers we're n
tsuder-heartcd set. and on this occasion did the
drinking part themselves. They said he shouldn't
mix.
The Duke Of Edinburgh has been posing n a
religious censor. lle took n rise, in n double
sense. out Of the snObbish congregation Of Holy
Trinity Church, Hull. When he came in, they
all rose 70 their feet ; but presently, when the
clergy and choir entered, no one stood up sIcepl
the Duke and hIs equerry.
Tux latest novelty IN fashionable circles is a
dress album. with tiny patterns Of every costume
the owner has ever worn. and the date attached
% them. In this manner, however extravngant
woman may be, she will always have something
10 show Tor her expenditure.
TnE Prince Of Wales IL accredited with bon
mot. Gpr0pOs Of the Ashmcad- Bartlett Buriett-
COutts matrimonial business % What can have
made her do it2 ~ said Lord Londesborough.
% Not love, surely She's too old" :. And not
money" added Alan Young. she don't want
It," &" III tell you what it was remarked
~. X. H., after pause IL was CURIOSITY +"
A PkRrsrAN pianolOrte manufacturer having
sold his fity-thUusandth piano, hrs employees
organized fete IN honor Ui the event - Fifty
thousand pianos " says Charivari. - just
think how many false notes and stupifed neigh
b0rs, and prosecuted auditors, the words repre-
sent. At least 5000 900 Of victims. Horrible
Horrible -
An indianapolis ruralist seated himself i'm a
restaurant the other day and began on the bill Of
lare. After employing three walters nearly
hour in bringing dishes to him, he heaycd heavy
Sigh and whispered, he put his finger on the
bill ur fare % Mister, We 90 that thar an -
moving his finger To the bottom Oi the bill
% ef il isn't agin the rule I'd like to skip from
thar 10 thar
'ruE latest - kink 30 IN jewellery j. the wish
b0uc-thc identical kind OF wish-bone We pulled
in che days o. childhood, with mental in
vocation % fate. Now iE - done up IN mother
Oi-peari. silver, or gold, sometimes plain. but
Oltener set with stones, and worn pin, and
ornaments the slippers or hair, and y one Jl the
most popular iayOrs tor the German Dealers in
fancy goods are trying 10 work up the same sort
OF a run for It as the horseshoe bad little time
ago
on board a CLYDE steamer one OF the hands OF
the boat was arranging passengers luggage On
deck, when an elderly maiden said % HIM :
% Moo, mn man, tax partCekler care y that
basket. an no Pit OnythIng on the tap OF, for
ma eats int, an hes no weel, purr man. ~
Courteous CslJ (wlth1ut turning rOuudl - 60
90 ta Eeevle, you an your eat 90 The elderly
maiden complained % the captain Df the IucIyIlily
of his crew and the captain ordered an ample
apology % be mlGe % the lady. The offending
Celt (making hi- bow to the fllr owner OF the .
tnhbyJ % Are VA tl wummau that tel't tac 20 .
h t1 tceyle?" Elderly maiden I" Yes" CJur-
tcuus Cslt % Wcel. then. ye dInna need tae gang
n0o."
Ir has Ioug been a moot point whether single
or married men make the best soldiers S1mC
maintain that the lack Of wife and family tends
60 make man more reckless Ot his life, therefore
a good soldier. Others -ly that the married man
~ almost a veteran when enters thc ranks. being
inured % combat, therefore a good soldier. In
the recent Tuuisun cImpaign French colonel
was questioned upon thr- point - Both are
right" /" said he 90 IIOk yDuder. Do YOU zee
that battalion OF happy deyrI-may-curc fellows?
They are all single mrn. and they would take
their lives IN their hands But look again. d.
you see those tacIturn. sImhre gloomy -lIOkIug
men there They are all married md 10 q hand
hand fight they are tcrrUr-. '' hat - sire
name Of battalion ?.' asked the inquirer - They
are called. said che colonel grtveiy, 90 thc Chill
drcn OF Despair.