The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1881-03-09
PLEASANT PARAGRAPHS.

BOILER explosions are becoming 30
numerous that vaccination appears neces-
sary to keep them from breaking out.
-Phiiadelphia Chronicle- Herald.
A CHICAGO restaurant keeper adver-
tises "roast turkey and cram berry saus,"
and yet hungry man might 60 where
they spell better and fare worse.-New
orleans Picaymae.
"Dosr love me7 Tell me once again,
My little p0otsy tOots'
With lovc-lit eyes she sweet replies:
"Do /? You bet your boots"
Modern Arso,
THE Cleveland Herald has published
some verses entitled; "Why do sing?"
and written by young woman. 1t is
probably because her father paid five
hundred dollars to music teacher for
spelling n good stocking darner.
AT an undertakers' conference in New
Yorkrecently, one undertaken complained
that the sections were getting "all the
cream of our business" What for Heav-
ems sake, is "the cream" Of the under
takers business?
IN olden times when people heard
Some swindler huge had come TO grief,
They used good old Saxon word,
And called that man thief"
But language such as that to-day
Upon too many feelings CRATES,
| So people smile and simply say,
He rc-hypothecates.'
The man who journeyed long to spf
upon the grave of his enemy found that
the said enemy was drowned in lake
and his body not recovered. There are
lots of things in this world to make a
man mad. Detroit Free Press.
The Galveston NewS says a man in
that city who had mule for sale, hear
ing that friend in Houston wanted to
buy mule, telegraphed to him: "Deat
Friend-If you are looking for No.
mule don't forget me"
AN exuberant youth halls supposed
acquaintance with "Hello, Joe, but,
finding his mistake, adds: go, excuse
me; thought you were another man !"
Laconic stranger answers: 81 am. -
Bu0aLo Express.
No Adolphus, newspaper men do not
have duplicates of the last straw that
broke the camels back. They are use
full, as you say, but newspaper men are
so accustomed to d-k-g the other
way, they don't care straw about
theml
A MINISTER overlook Quaker lady
and politely assisted her in opening
gate. As she was a compartive stranger
in town, he said "You don't know,
perhaps, that / am Mr.. -. Haven't
you heard me preach?' 81 have heard
you try" was the quick rcoinder.
GAS for me" says Nine. H., whose
husband is member of the Assembly,
81 always do my shopping when the
Senate is discussing the appropriation
bills. Then, you see, my husband is &C.
customed to such large figures that my
bills looksmal to him. "-French paper.
THIS is the particular time of the year
when the citizen is attacked with Sc
wore case of economy, and Immediately
cuts off his entire list of newspapers.
There is one paper he does not relin-
quish, however. 1t is his paper of to-
bacco. --ROckiand Courier.
The man who works in n factory, his
pay day comes once n month"; but the
man who works at ditching has his spade
day oftener than that. Narration hide
pcndcnt. Hoe! Hoe! Fork conscience
sake shove long this pun, and don't har-
row up our feelings in this way.
A YANKEE tobacco chewer was in the
habit of declaring about once month
that he would "never chew another
piece" but broke his pledge as often as
he made it. On one occasion, shortly
after he had "broken off," he was seen
taking another chew, "Why." said his
friend, "you told me you had givel up
that habit, but see you are at it again. !"
Eyes" he replied, 81 have gone to
chewing and left off lying"