Richland beacon. [volume] (Rayville, La.) 1869-1890, 1881-09-03
PLBASANTREA

1AR EnSilsh sPMrO~- Hs"e Univ
on al the other birds from tins town.
We'll, l should twitter."
SArp the General to the Major, "What
is your rank, sir ?" and the Major re-
piled, Il am Major, General"
WHY mourn for Grmes his daughters hvs:
On fashions streets We fnd en-
And they wear " Old Grimss's cost,'
AL bu,tonsa down behind en-.
SOMETHING to eat?" Tramp
"Yes'm. But l don't want no quail,
cause it's been awful hard with em this
winter, and they have had to feed on all
sorts Of pisen berries"
A WISE father to his son" Now.
John. l do not object 10 your being
fool and an idiot. BE fool and IN idiot
if you want to, but what l do not wish
You to do is to let everybody know it.
AoSE cpsr stamp for . o,rculaire,
A one-cent stamp for newspspairs,
Athre--cent stamp for = sealed ietta.rs,
AL Licked sa the right corpsirc-
I.icl, brothers ich, nck with caire,
On the right hand side, not evsrywhaire>
Unless you want the Postmastairs
To- make things hot AID cuss and swars.
with neatness," he remarked, ~ he
shot down hill Oh bob-sled, land dis
patch," he groaned the next day, point
ing to l5-cent strip Of court-plaster on
his nasal appendage and classical fore
head.
A YOUNG lady and her father were
looking at druggist, who was very
nicely balancing the delicate little scales
on which the prescription was being
weighed. "How precise how hne !
how little y said the girl. "Yes," said
the father, "but he will not do 20 with
the bill"
Is the spring the madens fancy
Turns 10 thoughts Of making hay
With matrimonial view abe
| Flirtsth much and plays croquet
Bnt the young man does not tumble
And, with mercsnary view,
Hs considers that its cheaper
! To pay eosrd for one than two.
/ "MY love for you il like that glow
ing fire," said Adolphus, ~ he blinked
at the burning anthracite and then at
the object of his affections. "What .
grate FULL" she murmured, and the
spark got quite warm trying TO think
how she spelled the sentence.
In the Senate Chamber at Washing
ton, the Chaplain offered the Lords
PRAYER. When he had finished, Dool-
mey leaned over to Josonby, and re-
marked: " He stole that prayer, and IN
bet doodle on it, for heard the
same ideas expressed in Eureka at fu-
neral over two years ago."
DUrCHMAN in Albany went ont 10
his milkman in the street with dish in
each hand, instead of one - usual. The
dispenser Of attenuated milk asked him
if he wished to fiji both vessels7 The
Dutchman replied, suiting tho action 10
the word, "Dis is for de influx, and dis
for de water-and l will mix dem 20 -
to shuts mine SELF"
| "YEs," said the witness, II remem-
Der the defendants mother crying on the
occasion referred to. She was weeping
=, with her left eye-the only one she has
and the tear were running down her
right cheek" "What |" exclaimed the
Judge, "how could that be 2" "Pleass,
your Honor" said the witness, "shs
vas awfully cross-eysd"
INECDOTR OF sOJOURNER TRUTH.
Some years ago. when Mrs. Child Wa
presiding at an snti-slavery meeting at
which the African "sibyl" was present.
a clergyman asked permission TO speak.
1t being granted, he mounted the plat.
form and poured forth the following
TRADE: 81 am an orthodox minister o.
the gospel. I came here this after
noon TO hear some Of the eloquence ant
wit which I understand we're % sbun
dant at these meetings; but. instead o
that. have thus far listened TO httl'
but insults heaped upon the clergy. 1
Il the first time I over thrust my pres
enoe among you; il will be the last
D can find better use for my leisure hour
than attendance upon gatherings whsr
; the only speakers are women and 1scs
: ssses." he paused. There was dea'
: silence for . moment through the hall
Then Sojourner Truth suddenly Aros
!, from one Of the rear seats, and addresss
J. the chair 1.-The gentleman tells Us No
. aminister of the gospel. she said, IAN
so be probably knows what's IN tn
il scripture. There was another minister
s a long time ago. named Balaam. Hegc
:. mighty mad, too. at an ass thatspoks. Bu
Il Missus Chairman, I'd like TO remind tn
e gentleman that it was the ass, and nj
p the minister. that saw the angel"
!, A RELIGION which does not suffice