The National tribune., 1881-09-17
PILLS BURGLAR,

| am Phil Morris, fourteen years Old, and the
youngest clerk in Covert Savings-Bank. The
cashier is my uncle Jack, and he began at the
bottom, where ! am, when he was boy. He
says that boy had better grow up with a coun-
try bank than go West and grow up with the
country. He thinks there's more money III 1t.
"If there's anything in you he said one day,
you'll work your way up to be bank president
some time" And | guess it's better to be presl-
dent of a country bank than to be President OF
the United States. Anyway, you wouldn't have
to be shot before folks began to find out that you
were doing your level best to keeEHhings straight
Uncle Jack says and does such queer things some
times that people say he's odd. They tell about
his being so wrapped up in our bank that he never
had time to hunt up wife. | notice, though
that when father and mother died and left me a
wee little baby Uncle Jack found time to bring
me up. and give me good education to boot
Oh, he's as good as gold OF government bonds,
Uncle Jack is
We live in rooms over the bank where old Mrs.
HalStead keeps house for US. Underneath we do
the business. There's heaps of money in our two
big vaults Last summeT-and mind you, this
was while was away on vacation-two men
broke into the building. They came up stairs,
and into Uncle Jacks room. One had a bulls
eve lantern that he flashed in Uncle Jacks face
as he sat up in bed and the other pointed big
pistol right at his head
Tell us where the vault keys are, or I'll shoot
you," he said.
"Oh. Uncle Jack l broke in, when he was
telling me about it, d" what did you do?
"What would YOU have dOne?" he asked. in
his odd way.
Il know what l ,rouIdnt have done" | an
swered him, Strengthening up bit" | wouldn't
have given 'em the keys"
"Ah!" Uncle Jack says, kind Of half doubtful,
and then went on: Well, told them to shoot
awav. And they knew as well as | did that
shooting wouldn't bring them the keys So
when they found they couldn't frghten me, the
scoundrels tied me, and went off in rage. with
nv watch and pocket-bOOk."
This was last summer. One night along in the
fall Uncle Jack started off down town. Its
Lodge night, and l may not be back until late
he said You won't mind staying alone-a
great boy like you" And Of course I said No
But somehow. after Mrs. Halstead went to bed.
I found | did mind it. / don't know what made
ME feel 50 fidgety Perhaps it reading about
A bank robbery in Bolton which is the next town
10 Covert 1t was thought to be the work of Slip
perry Jim. notorious burglar And while | was
thinking abOur it, | dozed off in Uncle Jacks
easy-chaiT.
"Ow-w-w." | sung out all at once. And if
you'd woke up Of a sudden to a rough-looll-
ing man, with a slouch hat pulled over his eyes,
standing right in front Of you, you'd have done
the same. "What-what do you want here?"
sort of gasped and tried ospeak 50 he wouldn't
hear my teeth knock together.
"The vault keys-where are they" he answers.
short and gruff And then he kind of motioned
with his hand suppose to show the revolver he
was holding.
was pretty badly scared; but all the same
didn't mean he should have those vault keys. if
ne shot the top of my head off
Come. hurry up he said, with a sort of grin
And | noticed then that he had red whiskers and
some of his upper front teeth were zone 50 that
he didn't speak his words plain.
4 should know You anywhere" thought
Strategy Phil Norris | said to myself bracing
up inside for a story I'd read about how a lady
caught live burglar came across me like a flash.
PLEASE don't shoot. sir" began to say, with all
sorts of demi-semi-quavers in my voice-"please
don't: indeed I'll show you where they're kept"
So making believe to shake all over took the
lamp, and led the way into Uncle Jacks bedroom
l. The k-k-k-eys are in th-therc, sir told him.
You should have seen how my fingers trcmbled
when ] pointed to the little stOrc-rOOm that
opened out Of the chamber. The keys were there
true enough but I'd like to any one except
Uncle Jack or | find them. | suppose YOU have
heard of such things as secret panels.
The store-room floor is lower than the chamber
floor MANY a time. when haven't been think
ing, I've stepped down with jar that almost
sent my backbo up through the top Ofmy head.
" In there, eh?" said my bold burglar, quite
cheerful like and pushed by me to the open door.
| set the lamp down, and my heart began to
beat 80 that ] almost afraid he could hear il.
Now or never" whispered
Ii was all done quicker than you could say
knife put my head down like a billy-goat,
and ran for the small of his back Butted isn't
4 nice word, but that's Just how | sent him hy-