The weekly Floridian. [volume] (Tallahassee, Fla.) 1867-19??, 1881-03-29


greatly facilitate my intellectual occupa-
tion during my sojourn in the suburbs of
this great city. And ! must beg that you
keep the house very still during the hours
/ devote to study"
Here my little wife looked at me aghast,
thinking of Johnny and the baby.
"Never mind, my DEAR" remarked,
soto voce, eve can easily get 'em boarded
out somewhere"
"And," went on the Rev. Speakwell,
should esteem it favor if horse and bug
gy could be procured for my daily use in
going to DIR. Dosem, in the city, as the mo-
ton ofthe train disagrees with my nervous
system"
Il don't happen to own carriage, but
l might buy one, "said /.
THANK you, thank you, Cousin Poyntz,"
said Mr. Speakwell, blandly.
"And if there's any other little thing
you should happen to want, pray don't be
I" No | won't, Cousin Poyntz," said the
reverend gentleman, with the utmost
gravity.
And am bound to say he kept his
word.
For three days endured the swarm of
visitors which literally infested my home,
and then made up my mind that patience
had ceased to be virtue.
cpl put a stop to this thing" said /.
l came home one night with a tragical
expression on my face.
Katherine" said to my wife, " I'm
ruined"
"Whatr' cried all the company at
once.
"Those shares in the Western Union,
you know" said l, shifting my forehead
Yes DEAR" gasped poor Kitty.
'"They have gone down." said I. Not
worth penny"
"Oh, Johnw
81 wish had taken your advice, and
let 'em alone" said l. "But after all, it
doesn't so much matter, as if had no
friends"
looked beamingly around at my wife's
relations. They returned the glance by
the blankest of stares.
" If borrow 5000 apiece from all these
dear kindred" said /, with obtrusive
cheerfulness, "and request Uncle Silas to
endorse my business notes"
81 couldn't think Of such thing" hur-
ridly interrupted that gentleman.
should be most happy to oblige, but
l am quite out Of funds at present. said
Cousin Joab.
"And l." said Rev. Mr.. Speakwell,
pushing back his chair, "must have what
little share possess of the worlds filthy
lucre to pay my passage and that of my
family back to Minnesota"
C,rol~, o~;oI 49,, ,x,o,,l1 not r.o
away and leave me in such pecuniary
straits as these %
Rev. Mr.. Speakwell significantly but
toned up his pockets
G" 1t is every mans business to look af-
ter himself, Cousin Poyntz," said he; "and
| don't scruple to say that it is downright
dishonesty for business man like your
self to get into such financial difficulties" p"
And in fifteen minutes every cousin in
the lot had, upon one excuse or another,
vanished from the room, to pack and pre-
pare for immediate departure.
looked at my wife; my wife looked at
me. burst out laughing; Kitty began
to cry.
" My DEAR" said l, it's an easier job
than / thought it would be. l didn't
know but that it would be necessary for
me to catch the smallpox before l could
get rid Of your relations"
" But are we very poor, John? And
must we give up this dear little cottage? ?
Oh, how cruel it is of Cousin Joab, and
Mr.. Speakwell, and Uncle Silas, and all of
them not to help you know Mariana
Wilmerding has $4,000 that she wants to
put out at interest, for she told me only
yesterday and"
EYES, exactly" said I. "But probably
she doesn't regard me as good invest
ment"
" after all have done for them :" sob
bed my wife.
Relations are only human, my DEAR"
said l.
The company took their leave without
much ceremony of adieu, and that after
noon my wife came to me with tears in
her eyes.
"John," said she, "will you tell me
how much money you have lost in that
horrid Western Union stock? Because
had rather know the worst at once"
" Lost ?" repeated /, looking up from
the newspaper which | was reading in
Uncle Silas' favorite easy chair, which
was now vacated IOr Tue HTSL LlH1e III many
days, who said had lost anything? ?"
"You did,
Excuse me, my dear, and said moth
ing of the kind. merely stated that the
Western Union shares were not worth a
penny. Neither were they to me, as
sold out all possessed week ago"
"John! !"
Yes, my dear"
"How could your
every easily" said / with latent
smile. "My dear, l think if your rela-
tions had staid another week would
have committed suicide"
"And you told that horrid story just
to get rid of them ?'
az made that unimpeachable statement
with that precise intention"
"They were rather trying" confessed
Kitty. "And I think they might have
helped you a little when they thought
you were bankrupt"
"They will not come visiting here
again" said / quietly.
And l was right. They did not.