davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1881-06-14
He Heard 1t.

Topnoody made up his mind that he
wasn't going to be bossed any longer by
his wife, SO when he went home at noon
he stalked in and. called out imperiously:
Mrs. Topnoody, Mrs. Topnoody"
Mrs. T. came out of the kitchen with
drop of sweat on the end of her nose,
dish-rag tied around her head, and a
rolling pin in her hand. Well, sir,''
she said, "what'll you have?" Top
moody staggered, but braced up. Mrs.
Topnoody, want you to understand,
madam land he tapped his breast
dramatically" am the engineer of
this establishment" "Oh, you are, are
you +? Well, Topnoody, want you to
understand that I''-and she looked
dangerous" am the boiler that will
blow up and sling the engineer clear
over into the next county. Do you hear
the steam escaping, TOpnoody 20 Top
moody heard it, and he meekly inquired
if there was any assistance he could
render in the housework.
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1881-06-14
Prize Essay on Cats.

A few weeks ago the enterprising
manager of Bunnell's Museum, in New
York, treated the public to the novelty
of Cat Show--or, C The Cat Congress,
as it was dignifiedly called.
Prizes, In money and gold medals, ETC.,
were offered for the oldest cat, the big
gest cat t35 pounds, the smallest cat
q ounces), the best performing cat,
Angoras, Maltese, Tailless, Black,
White, ard Tortoise she'll cats. Besides
all of these, a prize of ten dollars was
awarded for the cat essay, to Walter
G. Quevedo, of Brooklyn, his effort be-
ing the best of five hundred and fifty
seven. The essay was attached to
common wooden tip cat such as little
boys play with. 1t was as follows:
"This is Cat"
The enclosed cat knocked at our office
window few years ago, and then came
in without being introduced. Since
then it has never eaten anything nor
shown an inclination to become ac-
quainted with the back fence. 1t is per-
fectly docle, but is apt to jump when
stroked upon the back. Besides this,
there are two other kinds of cats-the
cat of nine tails and the cat Of nine lives.
The cat proper and improper derives
his name from the manner in which
you address him at night, thus" Scatl"
The cat is cuss that news and purrs,
be-cuss purr-haps it a-mew.ses him.
He is covered with fur, is filled with de-
ceitfulness, abounds in cheek. L said
that on purr-puss. He can place him
self outside of canary in full bloom,
and then come and sit by your side and
look up in your face with smile that
is childlike and bland," chuck full of
penitence and canary. Canary other ami
NAL do this His fur is soft and glossy,
but what this is fur 1 cannot say. 1t
isn't so soft, however, but what it will
break bricks. The cat is smaller bird
than the mule. AS general thing the
cat can draw more than any other ami
NAL except mustard plaster. / have
known him to draw two bootjacks,
scuttle of coal, two or three charges out
of gun two or three swears out of a
man, and other articles of bedroom
furniture out of third story window.
This can also be said of the average Ger
man band. In fact they are somewhat
related, as the discoverer of the fiddle,
listening to the music of the cat, cut
him open to see where the noise came
from, and thus laid the foundation for
fiddle strings. Cats and fiddles thus
became ADMINISTRATORS of suicides.
They are unfeeline. I would say some
thing about the cat-o'-nine- tails but it
is painful subject; another reason is,
1 don't know anything about them.
See Mr.. Bergh. Please send the $40 by
any of my kind reportorial friends.
You might also send a policeman with
the reporter. Yours, categorically."
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1881-06-14
Had a good Offer.

A salopian parish clerk, seeing wo-
man crossing the church-yard with
bundle and watering can, followed her
curious to know what her intentions
might be and discovered that she was a
widow of few months standing. In
quiring what she was going to do with
the watering-pot, she informed him
that she had begged some grass-seed to
SOW upon her husbands grave, and had
brought little water to make it spring
up quickly. The clerk told her that
there was no occasion for her to take
that trouble the grave would be green
in no time. g All, that may be-" was
the frank reply; but my poor husband
made me promise not to marry again
until the grass had grown overhis grave;
and having good offer, 1 don't want TO
break my word, OF keep as am longer
than can help"
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1881-06-14
D1SCOYERER OF
LYDIA e. PINKHANH'S
VEGETABLE COMPOUND.
For all Female Complaints.
OELYNN. MASS.
The Positive Cure


This preparations as It's name signifies consists OF
Vegetable Properties that harmless TO the most del
icate invalid. Upon trial the merits of this Com
pound will be rccosnizsl asrelief is immediate and
when its sois continued, in nineynine in hun
drcd apcrmancntc effected asahousands viii tes
tfy. On account of its proven merits it is to-day ro-
commended and prescribed by tho best physicians in
the country.
II viii cure entirely the worst form of falling
Of the uterus, Lcucorrhoea, irregular and painful
Mcnstruaton, all Ovarian Troubles, Inflammation and
liberation, Foodngs, all Displacomcns and the CON
scquent spinal weakness and is especially adapted
the Change of Life. 1t VIII dissolve and expe tumors
f-on the utcriisin carly stage of development The
tendency to cncerous humors there IL checked very
speedily by its use.
In fact 1t has proved to be the greet
est and best remedy that has ever bccl discover.
cd 1t pcrncatcs every portion of the system aI gives
now life and visor 1trcnovcs fsntness cy do
stroys nll craving for stmulants and relieves vcccs
of the stomach
1t cures Floating, Headaches, Nervous T-cstrat,on,
General Debility, Slecplossnea3 Depression aEd Ind
gcstiOn That feeling of bearing down, causing pain
weight and bacache, is always permanently cured b.
its 1t willnt all times and rndcre circrinstca
ces, act in harmony with the law that governs the
female system
For Kidney Complaints of either scs this compound
is unsurpassed.
Lydia E. Pinkhams Vegetable Compound
Isprepared at a3 and 2S5 Western Avenue lynn Macs
Price slOO SIX bottles for $500. Sent 10y mail in tic
form of pills also in the form of Lozengcs receipt
OF price, si.OO, per box, for either Mrs. PINKHAM
freely all letters of inquiry Send for pam.
phlct. address as above Mention this paper.
No family should be without LYDIA {. PINKHAM'
LIVER PILLS. They Constipation Gilousness
tndTorpidity Of the Liver. 95 cents per box
Ns- GEO. A. KELLY& CO.. General Agents
'ittsburgh, Pa. Also for sale by Jacob Strick
er, New Bloomfield Pa. 27H1y
Centre Democrat. [volume] (Bellefonte, Pa.) 1848-1989, 1881-11-10

"Ihaye some peculiar customer" the
keeper Of bird and pet animal store in
New York said. "There are some ladies'
that purchase nothing but white rats.
[ once asked one what she did with
them. She blashod a little and said
ahe let them sleep on her pillow with
her. She fondIsd them and taught
them little tricks. have had quite a
demand for young alligators recently.
Most Of the purchasers, curiously
enoagh, are ladies. You wouldn't
think there was anything particularly
likeable in an alligator With a mouth
running nearly hall the length of his
body. but some ladies think 30. Ihaye
seen them throw bits OF meat into m
aquarium containing siK.inch alliga-
tor. and as his month 1apped open and
closed on the delicasy. they would raise
their h,nds and exclaim, 'How perfectly
lovelyF They use the alliga;ors to
look Of and feed.
"An all gator looks very comical when
about TO swallow q Hy. He rushes at
it with open jaws, and brings them so
violently together that tho water spouts
out ct each side OF his mouth. He gets
himself in tho most gro.esque attitudes,
and is always making unexpected moves.
4 woman came here from Hobokon re.
Gently. aud bought ten inch reptile.
She also bought two dollars worth OF
fishes. Sho went away apparen ily
pleased with her purchases. Several
days afterward she came again and said
that all her fishes had mys,eriously dis.
appeared tho III xht she took them
home. but that the alligator still re-
mained. She said she had put them
ali together in au aquarium. OF course
told her the alligator had swallowed
the Fl hes. She said, 'Oh. nv, the
nasty thing and vowed she would sell
IL.
AN alligator over four inches long il
dangerous in an aquarium. Most of
those sell are from Florida. II takes
long time--more than tao years,
sometimes-for an aquarium bred ALI.
gator to grow two inches. II they were
left to burrow in a muddy pond or q
swamp. they would grow nearly twice
their length in a year. Fresh wafer
seems 10 stant hem"
Centre Democrat. [volume] (Bellefonte, Pa.) 1848-1989, 1881-11-10
A NlhIlIst nscane.

The Russian socialist, Prince Krapot-
kin, who has just been expelled from
Switzerland, was aided 10 escape from
st. Petersburg in a very ingenious war,
One day he received, in his ration of
bread, the following message from an
unknown hand; "when you hear Beet
hoven's Third Waltz played upon
piano in the house opposite, ask per-
mission to go out into tho court" AL
though the prince did not quite under
stand, be nevertheless kept strict watch
fer the sound Of the waltz. Three days
atterward, in tho afternoon, some one
began TO play Il. He Immediately asked
to be taken into the court. Scarcely had
he reached the yard 10 company with bis
two sentinels than he saw the large gate
TO the prison yard opcn to allo loaded
wood-wsgon TO enter. The wagon had
not entirely passed the gate when, ap-
parently by accident, II discharged it.
load OF logs at the entrance. The
prince, seeing his opportunity. gavo :
bound before tho wood was entirely out
Of the CART and cleared not only the
gate but two bullets which wers fired It
him By his guards. The fallen logs
prevented an immediate pursuit. A.
the gate was a Oossack horse. sadaIed.
awaiting the psinco He mounted i
md galloped away. Since then The
RnAaiaa police have never been able 70
and out whO Il was that played . eel
| he nwaliz oi evasion"
Centre Democrat. [volume] (Bellefonte, Pa.) 1848-1989, 1881-11-10
4 Romantic Marriage.

4 lady Of my acquaintance, a sister
in.law of DR.. Bliss. quite recently made,
or rather acknowledged, q romantic
marriage with gentleman employed as
sub-doorkeeper at the capitol, who
had lost both feet in the Union army.
She was stenographer in the patent
Office, drawing salary Of 81. 200 year.
She lived frngAlly. and held her place
for years, 70 all appearance growing
into the gentle, shadowy, ,scli-respecting
spinsterhood that 90 many lady clerks
here prefer TO commonplace or ILL
assorted marriage. A few months since
the gentlem an referred 10 fell i'll, aud,
10 the surprise Of her friends. she went
to his lodgings and took her place at
his bedside Is his nurse, acknowledging
then that they had been married more
than year, but that she had concealed
il rather than forfeit her government
position. She has been gradually lay
ing money by to purchase che modest
sShaaA HaHSA AsAo VI ArE aohe1faaa EAs&ua-
parents in East Cleveland, which the
remaining heirs had offered her on
terms within tho scope OF her ability to
comply with by rigid economy. and tho
denouement did not occur, fortunately,
till tho place was practically paid for.
She then resigned her position, contin-
ued her duties as nurse, and then took
her matrimonial prize home to the III
tic ancestral place aho had secured,
and we learn that she Is very happy IN
her retirement. Her husband walks
With > cane. little slowly sud pain
fully. 70 BE sure. but Is by no means :
wreck ol man. Washingion Letter.
Centre Democrat. [volume] (Bellefonte, Pa.) 1848-1989, 1881-11-10
Ra.hien Fan,Irs.

Grebc trainings are popular for
trimming costumes.
Clusters Of shaded plush are recon-
mcndcd as trimming for plush tuFbans.
A nice light trimming for bonnet Is
three doubled frills OF uncut velvet ses
around the bin.
Chenille dotted net is much used for
wells. Bronze green and garnet arc
the iavorito colors.
4 Dew silk material used by Worth
TO make cloaks has a red or black
ground upon which appear palm leaves
set close together.
Outside garments show increased
length, many Of the new cloaks being
so long as to almost completely hide
the dress skirts beneath them.
Not only sealssin, but chinchilla and
coney bonnets will be worn in tho win
ter. They arc trimmed with breasts and
have plush or watercd strings.
As II IL were not enough to have
sumptuous cloak-linings, little girls now
have their cloth princess dresses made
mp with Innings OF quilted satin.
"sludics in yellow" are among the
moat fashionable hues OF the present
time, and sunset" IL brilliant ahad.
which mcrges from yellow into deep
red.
Dress skirts. while made narrow and
clinging. appear more voluminous than
formerly because Of the drapery that i
arranged in tho way of pannier and
tournure.
Light elk and wool stuffs in bright
contrasting atripcs, or in gay millefeGr
designs, are exhibited, which are to
make very handsome yet durable dresses
for schoolgirls.
Handsome new qualities OF fur plush,
showing o long heavy pile, to DO used
for cloak trimmings, pelerines and
mule, are as costly and elegant as fur
itseli, hut much less durable.
Pink toilets arc very fashionable. and
arc styiishly set Off with black silk
stockings devoid Of embroidery. black
satin sandals worked with jet beads.
and long black gloves OF undrsssed bid.
silk kerchiefs which can be worn On
the neck or made into charming pock-
ets come IN iine checks, with borders in
solid color. Satin korchisfs are white
OF OF bright color, with shaded stiires.
Apopular dress for litlle girla Is quite
loose. with collar around the meek.
plain IN front. plated or gathered ali
she was down 81 the hnck. whlle : sash
crosses over The plaits below The waist
Centre Democrat. [volume] (Bellefonte, Pa.) 1848-1989, 1881-11-10
The Secret Of CentnrIcs.

That dead secret OF the centuries
the cause of Asiatic cho,era-has been
finally discovered, thanks TO the subtle
assiduiiy OF British consul. Tho
story is, as il should be, full Of the pic
turegque. It seems that the Moslems,
who arc hidden to make pilgrimage
once year 20 Mecca, hold it the most
sacred Of the rites while there 70 drink
the waters OF the mysterious well,
which, under various names, figures in
the writings Of Mohammed aud his fol-
lowers The waters Of it arc dark aud
deep, and when drawn have a brackish
appearance, tepid temperature and nau-
segting taste. What the well is fed by
the Moslens refuse 20 tell, bat the ira
diiion IS. that like the mysterious
river of Kubla Khan, It's sources spring
under a sacred city in Tunis and course
around under the Mediterranean, cross
ing the Nile, aud ran moasureless to
men down TO sunless sea under the
city of Mecca. The consul at Jeddah
got some OF the water, bottled it and
sent it TO al English chemist for anal
ysis. This operation revealed a mass of
putrdisy and death in the iiq1id which
alone are Sufficient 10 explain the NOR
tality among the millions Of pilgrims
that seek the shrine from ycGv to year.
The perplexing part Of the matter is
thai il such thing as cleaning on. the
we'll we're suggested to the Moham-
medans there woali bo q revolt from
Senegal TO Batavia, for this precious
spring is regarded as means OF divine
puridca.ion. To be touched with q
drop OF it is sure cure; TO bathe in il
makes the most afflicted whole Should
tho Christian nations hint even thai
they object to the presence OF the pill
grims from Mecca passing through the
ports there would be no end of diplo-
matte vrangling and difficulties, which.
70 spare, VIC must run the constant risk
Of cholera epidemics. - Philadelphia
7tgaes
Centre Democrat. [volume] (Bellefonte, Pa.) 1848-1989, 1881-11-10

Kate said Jetty, with her most
dignified air, will please clear up
those peas. II you will go round to
the door, sir'--turning toward the win
dow again--"I will let you in"
"Thank you," the intruder said.
coolIy stepping over the window ledge
into the room. "You are your mother
over again. I'd like to talk with You a
little on business"
Jetty's heart quailed little q. that
awful word, yet she didn't show n
quiver, but led the way to The parlor
with as regal an air as though she had
been n queen granting an interview ex-
tuordinary, or whatever 1t would be
called, to an ambassador equally extra
ordinary. II is not necessary to relate
all that was said between these two, or
how ut last Jetty broke down and cried
on her uncle's shoulder, while he di-
vided his attention between comforting
her and clearing the mist from his own
eyes. It seems that in his heart of
hearts John Frenant had long had de
sire to be reconciled with his sisters
family, and only tho night before had
been looking over some souvenirs OF
childhood, which opened the long
sealed fountains Of his love. II was
from this cause, suppose, il came
about that he went out OF his usual way
homo TO walk by the Westart cottasei
and the sound Of weeping and wailing
had brought him 10 the window.
cannot pretend that their uncle
proved always the pleasantest and most
flexible Of men to got on with, but ut
least there was no more worry about
poverty in the little cottage. and when
matters between Jack and his uncle got
tumnltgous, as they occasionally did,
Jetty always contrived somehow TO
bring things out smooth again.
So that, altogether, worse misfor-
tune might have overtakcn the four
orphans than even the loss Of their so
much anticipated dinner of peas.
Centre Democrat. [volume] (Bellefonte, Pa.) 1848-1989, 1881-11-10
Oceans Depths.

The first OF fifteen volumes on The re-
searches Of the Challenger expcdi-
ton has appeared, and the Timss in
reviewing it gives the following wonder
ful facts; Throughout the whole ocean,
on the surface and at every successive
otp.h below, there Is life and as the
creatures come and die their remains
fall in q perpetual shower, containing
not only hard eIuvin, but the elements
Of food, to the bottom, where thoy are
the appointed aliment Of many creatures,
large and small, in the still and dark
world. From depth OF several miles
the Challenger brought up creature,
of a proper scientific class and name,
seven feet high. II is curious to note
how life accommodates itself. In these
regions OF darkness the eye either ex.
pands TO large size to catch any slrag-
Cling ray, or is atrophied for want OF
use, or seems 10 change into another
organ, with functions yet unknown
Many of tho creatures a. these depths
are more or less phosphoieaceht and
they who feel for oil iifo viii be com
forted to know that even many miles
below the light OF ;he sun in The wasery
heart Of the world there can still be
light, Whatever purpose it may ansver.
But water still - the chief ingredient
Of life even there below. lei the food,
tho blood, aud the strength of theso
poor crea,ures--far more than the COM
paratively weak constituents of our own
physical frames II Is water alone in
side that can withstand the pressure Of
two aud half tons 10 tho square inch.
That amount Of pressure is found to
crush beams OF pine wood as II they
were passed through rollers but II
has no eGec. upon spoagcs. molluscs,
and even lighter creatures that almost
disappear in the air and sunshine. Such
are some OF tho creatures aud suoh the
laws Of life to which we are introduced
in this volume--a new world to most Of
as, and calculated to set men thinking.
Centre Democrat. [volume] (Bellefonte, Pa.) 1848-1989, 1881-11-10
THE FAMILY DOCTOR.

1t is recommended to treat carbuncleg
end boils with pare carbolic acid, in
iected hypodermically in sufficient
quantity to thoroughly aatnrate the
swelling.
Raw egg is restorative 20 strength.
Break fresh egg ia a tnmbler. mix
with little sugar, beat 10 a strong
froth, and add very little ice water If
liked, or it may be taken without this
addition.
In a paper recently read before the
Allegheny County Medical society, the
author, DIR. Thomas, stated that one
polluted spring had given him ten
typhoid fever patients in angle sea
gon, one Of whom died.
in case where the hearts action
had been suspended by the administra-
ton OF chloroform, the application Of 4
large cloth wet with boiling water re-
stored lis action. Hot water would
probably be similarly useful in cases Of
irregular heart action from other
causes.
a German bee journal has an article
recommending bee ssings A. a cure for
rheumatism. Tho writer's wife vas
afflicted with severe rheumatic pains in
the arm. The husband held bees to
her ann, allowing them TO completely
emIKy their poison into the muscles.
The succeeding night tie lady for the
first time in six months enjoyed good
sleep. The arm was swollen pretty
badly the next day, but this rapidly
decreased. No rheumatic pains have
since been felt 10y the lady. Other
cases Of similar cures are mentioned by
this writer. As tho average honey bee
is always ready to perform his part Of
the experiment, those inclined to try
this remedy mAy do so with ne4tness
and digpatch.
Centre Democrat. [volume] (Bellefonte, Pa.) 1848-1989, 1881-11-10

seldom in the history Of journalism
has \ newspaper been issued under
greater difficulties and amid less con-
genial surroundings than the Meas #
fhs Gimp, which was pnhli-hei during
the 100 days siege OF Pretoria. The
editor thus describes the con litioas un-
der which the feat was accomplished:
:" A bangaio# for printing Office, with
canvas thrown over lie unfinished roof.
through which the rain freely penetra-
ted. gentle water spout running down
the cOmpoSitors back AZ be stood with
bandolier of Martini Henry cartridges
over his shoulder, his white apron for
= Uniform, composing stick iE hand and
his rife lying Euggestively near his
printing frame; tho editors quarters an
army bell tent and transport wagon,
the space between ingeniously rooted In
with tattared sail stretched on tele-
graph poles; their work, editing pa
per By day and on guard up 10 the knee
IN mud II night, or sleeping in . pair of
leather hreeches, long boots and jack
spurs" The forty numbers Of four
pages each, foolscsp size. have recently
appeared in bound form embelIished
With fourteen photographs illustrations
of the siege.
Centre Democrat. [volume] (Bellefonte, Pa.) 1848-1989, 1881-11-10

limo To tie In large bow a. the left
side.
Flannel suits in bronze, navy Llue
and green, silk or velvet collars aud
caffs to match being their only trimming,
will be much worn this winter on occa-
sions requising neatness rather than Gle.
gance of costume.
Cretonne is frequently used for wall
hangings. This is favorite material
for bedrooms. Each room is dedicated
TO somo particular color. and the ere.
tonne which covers the walls also covers
tho furniture, dressing-table and win.
dows and other hangings.
The most stylish evening hats and
bonnets are ornamented TO excess
with nodding plumes and wreaths oi
elegant French flowers, most of the
leading models being 10 the immense
poke or in tho broad Gainsborough OF
Sir Joshua Reynolds style.
A material bound TO become popular
on account Of it's comparatively small
cost is superior make Of velveteen, in
all c1lors, and introduced 10 the trade
under the name OF "Nonpareil." II
presents more attractive appearance
than the usual makes OF velycteea, and
is cheaper than an ordinary grade oI
,.aIyat
Centre Democrat. [volume] (Bellefonte, Pa.) 1848-1989, 1881-11-10
mow worm Flt. oueep I.nh,lIn.

One day, while passing through one
of Worth's fitting rooms in company
with friend, / came across the odd
spectacle of one Of the young girls of
the establishment standing with two
pillows pinned about her waist, one be-
fore and the other behind, while over
her figure, thus immensely amplifed.
one Of the leading workwomen Of the
establishment was engaged in draping
n gorgeous skirt Of white satin. "OnlY
ball dress for the Queen Of Spain,
Madame, remarked tho busy function
ary, as stopped in amazement to view
the group Paris Letter.