The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1881-04-27
HUM BUG

HUmBUG!
An Eastern Reporters Search for
the Shonkin Geysers.
His Ohagrin and disappointment Over
the Result Of His Pilgrimage.
The other day an ink Singer, representing
the Cascade Roarer, appeared in our midst
riding 9 sore back cayuse, and from the light
that glanced from his eyes we knew that
something was up.
He had with him two reams Of note paper
and two dozen lead pencils. neatly sharp
ened, and without further delay explained
his errand it was to write up the Shonkin
Geysers.
To expedite matters he had carefully pre-
pared his headings, and as a forerunner of
what was to appear, we were permitted to
see the following startling announcements:
sSubterraneam Sounds in the Shonka Gap
Saline Streams Seethe and Snort-Gushing
Geysers Grind The Granite and Gniess-' etc.
We assured him that he was on the royal
road to fortune and directed him to the local
iy where the sportive streams were to be
found.
After q nights repose for himself and an
imaI he departed to camp on the trail; to Ia
Dor night and day until bis task was compile
ted, as he assured US, then HE away to glory.
Three days later the scribe returned. a
LOOK of sadness and anxiety had replaced the
childlike smile which be wore on his depar-
ture snd his noble brow was clouded with
care.
"Did you get scalded by the hot water2''
asked a bystander. "Alas," be replied. 81
am q ruined man." and to explain we will
give his sad story as he related it to us.
"You see" said he, II was sent out to this
wonderful land to write a book about the
great Shonkin Geysers, the fame of which
has extended from Benton even to the stump
fenced land of New York. repaired to the
locality, anxiously gazing for the ascending
columns Of hot water.
Isearched diligently over q great scope Of
country for those vent holes of the internal
regions, but without success. Finally | found
two cavities in the earth and ! experienced
| such a relief that my joy could hardly be re-
strained.
/ seated myself in a favorable position to
observe the first ebullitioD, for / felt sure
that I had found the aperatures from whence
these streams reared their lofty crests. I
waited patiently.
"As the hour Of "a. N. approached fairly
shivered with excitement, but as the minutes
heightened into hours my spirits fell. Pres
emily q youth clad in @ fantastic garb ap-
preached, followed by two dogs. They ap-
peared to be endeayoring to keep up with q
flock of beasts which the youth called the
'wether band sWhat ye dom, watchin' fur
perary dogs? asked he. No, for the gey-
sers,' | answered, regarding the craters in
tentlY. well, said the youth, 1sposin you
fire a few rocks inter them holes; I reckon
that'lI make the old things turn 'emselves
loose So I cast fragments of stone into the
aperatures and anxiously awaited the result
The youth seemed conyulsed with what ]
thought to be excitement. No disturbance
took place, and my heart filled with direful
forebodings.
| looked at the youth. He was rolling on
the ground, and, I believe laughing. See
here, you Pilgrim said he, them amt gey-
ser holes them's dog holes But where
are the boiling streams, the spouting geysers?'
[ asked. do you see the steam rising
from that sunny bank yonder, and further
up the coulee do you see them big icicles.
standing butt-end down on the rock? Wall,
them's all the geysers / know of, and don't
you forget it."
Here the poor. scribe paused to wipe . tear
from bis eye. my journey, my labor, my
exposure have all been in vain ~dissappoint-
ment is my lot; ] shall return to the East q
sadder and a wiser man and, gentlemen, if
any of you goto seek the guy(sirsl, you may
not look very far to find them" Again he
paused, then, as if feeling desperate, he leapt
upon his cayuse and was soon hid in a cloud
of dust.
We trust the searcher for these mysterious
geysers who next assays the task will be
more successful than he of the Cascade
Roure,, and that All authentic and concise
description Of these wonders will ere long be
given the public. r
DISSOLUTION OF PARTNERSHIP.
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