Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1881-08-17
SPICE AND ALLSPICE.

SPICE AND ALLSPICE.
No woman should borrow the hus-
band OF another; because it is not good
for man to be a loan.-NeaO Orleans
P5cayatAe.
A VERY small boy can get outside of
very large watermelon in very small
space of time; but it takes very large
doctor to harmonic the two.-Rocheste
Democrat.
A MAN in Accomac County, Va, is the
father of nineteen Children" eight
pairs and three aces" as the local paper
expresses it.
YOU'VE men should be careful about
dropping remarks. They may be
picked up by bigger man.-NeaU Or
teams PicGyune.
The young woman who used to sing
so divinely, ooh, had I the wings of a
dove" is satisfied with a chickens leg
now. She is married.
The editor who saw a lady making for
the only empty seat in car, found him
self crowded out to make room for
more interesting matter"
GONE thousand stocking makers of
Chemnitz, Saxony, are coming to this
country" If this is not yarn, there
must be something on foot.
"Is there much water in the cistern,
Biddy ?" inquired a gentleman of his
Irish servant. cit is full at the bottom,
sir, but there's more at the top"
81 HOPE this is not counterfeit ?" said
lover, as he toyed with his sweetheart's
hand "The best way to find out is to
ring it ' was the quick reply.
FEATHER beds are not healthy, at least
in summer time. Even a goose covered
with feathers will stand all night On one
leg rather than SLEEP on bedo feathers.
-NeaO Orleans Picayatne.
WHEN an illiterate farmer was asked
by the prosecuting attorney if he was
husbandman, he replied: "No, but I'm
to be married next month, and then I
shall be"
"WHAT's the matter with little Jimmy
this morning?" 'Sure, mum, the
bye's sick; he t1lmbled off O. wan O. thin
wheels widout carriage on it.-Nea0
York Commercial advertiser.
A STUDENT at Oxford University on
being asked: "Who was Esau % re-
piled: 'sEsau was a man who wrote
fables, and sold his copyright for mess
Of potash"
AN old man-of-war sailor, who had
lost leg in the service of his country,
became retailer of peanuts. He said
he was obliged to be a retailer because,
having lost a leg, he could not be a
whole sailor:-SoUaerviIte Journal.
BIRKY-"I got off good thing the
other day, did you hear about ?" jim
merson-"No, what was it ?" Birky-
"Well, to tell you the truth, it was my
red flannel undershirt. " - Louisville
COurierJoaypaoI.
FIRST swell: "Does it seriously make
no difference to you whether or not there
are thirteen at table % Second swell:
"Why, yes, all the difference in the
world, especially if there is only enough
on the table for twelve.-Puck.
AN exchange says: ga man lives in
this vicinity who states that he first met
his wife in storm, took her to the first
ball in storm, and has lived in storm
ever since" That couple must have
been Mr.. and Mrs. Cy Clone.
A PERSON overheard two countrymen,
who were observing a naturalist in the
field collecting insects, say one to an
other: What's that fellow doing, John?"
! " Why, he's a naturalist" "What's
that?" "Why, one who catches gnats,
to be sure"
A STRANGE thing happened yesterday.
A Norristown man, about starting for
the seaside. sent his trunk ahead with
servants, and when he reached the depot
he found that all his white shirts and
al so1a 1o1
ristooOn Herald.
How 1T came about: She" And so,
Mr.. Jefferson, you go back to your own
country next week. And pray, now,
what would you Like to take with you ?''
| upon which he plucked up courage and
told her right off. and now she's Mrs.
Jefferson and has gone with him. )-Ju0y.
SLIP of the tongue: A worthy deacon
in town not far away gave notice at
proyer-meeting the other night of
church meeting that was to be held i'm
mediately after, and unconsciously add
ed: "There is no objection to the female
brethren remaining ''-Spr5nafezd Re-
publican.
BEAUTIES OF COMMUNICATION: "There
is Teller up here who gives ticket for
| twenty-one meals for three dollars re-
marked a disciple of the art preservative
of arts last week. "But how does he
make his money on that?" was asked.
Z" Easy enough. His customers usually
die after the third meal. "-Denve1.
| Tribune.
A YOUNG man has just been married.
On the evening of the happy day he OBJ
serves his bride carefully storing her
bouquet of orange-blossoms within a
globe of glass prepared for the purpose.
| Much surprised, he inquiries the reason.
She, with a charming smile, replies,
"But, my dear, | may be able to keep it
for the next time. From the F"enhc.
EDO you Think" he asked, raising
his eyes toward the heavens; "do You
think that yonder gorgeous pageant of
starry worlds is the result of mere acct