The Hickman courier. [volume] (Hickman, Ky.) 1859-current, 1881-06-17
VOL. XVI.--NO. SO.
some Of 4. Wards Franks

T do not remember to have eve. seen
any notice of Artemus' happy use of
,,ontoroine in his humorous moods
sn,ono his friends and associates. There
yvas a1 unapDroachable eloquence some
times in it. He had way of making
quotation marks in the air with his LETT
and rioht forefingers on occasion that
was iTresistibly funny. Once he was
ENGAGED to fill an eyening in the lecture
co1rse Of a popular literary institution
Of a New England city. During the
lecture an individual who occupied a
seat ON one of the front benches seemed
determined to resist the speakers efforts
to make him laugh. Artemus soon dis
covered both fine hsteler and his inten-
ticn and coucentIateol all his powers on
him. Tor q lc1lt s.lle. it seemed as If
lsss-l - : st q 1t, but by-and-
byN57s5 49, ,se's dueet cCuce.t. -t<solz
effect. The obstinate fellow gave way,
and laughed and kic.zed lilze-aLsolelighte
school-boy. ArteIrHs celebrated his
victory by cQ5llF announcing to his
audience Ladies and gentlemen, this
viii terminate the irst act, and we will
drop the curtain br a few moments
while the scenery being arranged for
the next act the lecturer Will take occa-
sion to go out to see man, and
with perfect sang hOid he left the plat
form Tor the ante-room, where he quietly
refreshed himself with-weak tea and n
cracker, and gleefllly told the story OF
his contest.
Halt dozen of his associates were
sitting one day In his room at the vii
lage hotel where be boarded, when an
old woman drove up to the store oppo-
site with pair Of lonkeys-a jack and
jenny-hitched 10 little wagon. Jack
was the noisiest brute in the country.
He had voice worse than the handle of
a town-pump on frosty morning, and
was proud Of it. In a minute his tail
rose to a horizontal, lis nose was thrust
forward, his lips paited and the beast
blew his internal blast. A second and
third time it was repeated. Artemus
quietly thought Z" that that thing might
be fixed" and disappeared from the
room. He went over and appeared to
make a careful inspection of the fore
wheels Of the wagol, the harness and
the hitch-up, and cane back, saying that
the donkey was all right; the brute must
have made a mistake about something.
Presently there wen indications OF q
movement on Jacks part; the neck was
+ extended, the lips culed ana tne tall
rose-to the pivotal pint and no furth-
er. The trumpet didn't sound. Jack
thought there was a mistake somewhere
-hesitated- -rehected-and tried again.
The front part, some Df it, was all right;
but the equilibrium could not be
reached. After a time another attempt
was made and failed. Jack turned his
head around to ascertain the cause of
the failure, but couldn't see any. The
fifth vain attempt TO bray was followed
by a spiteful kick at Jenny, but it did
Mt cut the matter. At last he gave it
up and stood at the store door, the most
neglected-looking discOntented donkey
in existence. Meantime, Artemus en-
joyed the fun and discharged rattling
fusilade of puugent humor that kept the
party in a roar aud made the whole
affair one of the most lndicrous that
tacIed a heavy stone Il The donkey
tail, leaving just play enough to the
cord to allow the beast to get his tail
nearly up to " concert pitch. .''-Re2ai1l-
1sce'<ces IN the Portland Press.