St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1881-08-05
SQIIibS.

Mamie said he, and his voice was
singularly low, "will you be my wife,
VIII You cling to me as the tender vine
clings to the ayes, I'll catch on"
said She Puck.
Jones says his wife is the most thrift
ty woman he ever knew. ''Why, sir"
he says, "she has made ten bedspreads
during the last two years made them
herself, sir, out of the samples she col
lectcd in her shopping tours"
The following notice by Virginia
blacksmith indicates Readjnstcr scnti-
ments on the part of Moses partner:
"NOtis.-De copartncrship heretofore
resisting betwiXt me and Nose skinner
is hereby resolved. Dem what owe de
firm will settle wild me and dem what
de firm owe Will settle wild Nose
Texas Siftings.
GLOW did you like the lecture ?"
"Oh, it was beautiful ?" '"What did he
say" ooh, he said 50 many beautiful
things - "Tcll us somc.n ooh, lac
said-hc said but can't tell ii tu Nou
as he said them "Tcll them as YOU
understand thcm.n "Wrn, he said
that the aesthetics of existence enabled
us to-to-oh, can't - "'rcll us what
you think he meant" "Oh, go along!
Why didn't you go and hear him your
self I"
A peasant lately entered Il coffee
house III Milan over whose door was
written the traditional "COltcc with
Billiards. He called a waiter and or
dercd: "Give me a cup of coffee with
billiards" The waiter laughed, and
the peasant saw that he had committed
a blundcr. "Who said wanted whole
billiards p he said "bring me only Il
slice"
The WoOnsockct Reporter inquiries
'Who says it is unhealthy to sleep IN
feathers ? Look at the spring chicken,
and see how tough he is.n
DR.. Wcissc has been shooting at
dead bodies to find out where the ball
lodged in the Presidents ease, but DR..
Bliss says that shouting at dead bodies
to find the effect it would Lave on live
ones is absurd. An opinion is that
neither of them know much about it.
It's the old story, "Wlcre Ignorance Is
Bliss, tits folly to he Weisse."
1t is told of New Hampshire man
that lindiu" humblcbcc, one day, as
ne Vic NltltlEllilH HIS lbdIDs llf llitb W
destroy the insect with his lIatchet, but
cut off the ends of his thumb and fore
finger, letting the insect 90 unhalmed.
In one of his distractions, he shinglcd
over his spare hatchet; and cutting
small aperture in the building to let "a
little daylight in, this man actually set
IN wooden pane, as being economical
and not likely to be broken He once
nailed his left arm 50 firmly betwiXt
two boards of fence he was putting
up, that he had to call for help to get
extIicatcd from his self-imprisOnment.
A man who had never seen the inside
of law-cOurt until he was recently
introduced as a witness in "A ease pend
ing i'll one of the Scotch courts, on be
ing sworn, took a position with his
back To the Jury, and began telling his
story to the Judge. The judge, III
bland and courteous manner, said,
Address Yourself to the jury, sir"
The man made short pause, but, not
cOmprehending what was said 10 him,
forthwith continued his narrative. The
Judge was then more explicit, and said
TO him "Speak to the jury, sir-the
men sitting behind you on the benches"
The witness at once turned round, and,
making an awkward bow, said with
great gravity of manner, "Good morn
ing gentlemen n