The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1881-02-03
Friendship and Love.


Men learn to look at woman as though
she were an entirely different animal
from man. They either set her up as
goddess and reverence, almost worship
her at distance, OF they place her en-
tirely beneath their level, simply as an
inferior creature, to be admired for her
handsome plumage or her grace and ease
of carriage. Why not accept woman as
the purer and holier part of man; created
to bear with man and for man the cares
and vexations of this trying life ? Scarce
ly man exists who has not one OF more
particular, confidential male friends. At
clubs these may always be found together.
In business, in politics, the ideas of
the one are shaded to greater or less
extent by the ideas of the other. Such
companions may widely differ in tenn
permanent, in habits, in tastes; but the
fact of their trusting, consulting and
befriending one another, draws them to-
gether with an almost sacred bond. AL
ways be friendly with all, confidential
with very few, is surely an excellent
maxim; but why cannot this confidential
friendship exist between the sexes? Why
cannot men and women of similar ages
contract these affinities? Not every man
on coming to years Of maturity desires
to marry Immediately; many such,
should they desire it, have not the means.
What are these to do? They may have
none of the expensive habits so de-
nounced by ebay Court" nor yet be
members of a club; yet they are too hon
orable to marry and thus impose the ex-
pense of an additional family upon the
parents Of either themselves or their
wives. Such one as this, it would seem,
has no business anywhere in society and
it struck me that to such a class proba-
bly, belonged the Bachelor" How is he
to attain DR.. Johnson's elegance in the
little things, thus ignored as he is by So
called polished society? 1t is only by
rubbing the marble slab with the
smoother stone that it becomes the pol
ised surface that decorates our mansions.
Our girls are taught to look down on this
class who avow no intention of marrying
as mot eligible" They may favor them
with passing smile, but any effort to be
particularly agreeable is a pure waste of
time and energy. That to "catch hus-
band" is the end of their daily existence
is early inculcated and that thence they
must throw themselves like putty ball
at every mans head, until they find
one soft enough to adhere. Our young
men, meanwhile, until they are ready to
marry, must content themselves with the
society of each other-in other words,
must remain out of all society.
Such it is who often grow very
bitter against society. Have they not
considerable cause for growing so? Let
me tell you that one OF two good hearted,
noble minded friends confidential
friends" l have termed them-of the
other sex would be the salvation of a
man; such one, who, careless, is grad
ually, but how surely, drifting to the
bad! Friends, indeed, who might not be
able to understand all his business cares
or political ambitions, but yet to whom
he might confide some of them and he
sure Of hearty sympathy in the one case,
a patient and often an apt scholar in
the other. Men undoubtedly do like
women and women just as surely do like
men, until it is all educated out of both
by deluded or selfish parents and a cor
respondingly educated state of society.
Young men and young women can be
friends, withou ever being more to one
another, and by being such would make
the better husbands and wives-to other
women and men, perhaps-for having
learned that beneath handsome clothing
and society formalits there often turks
heart as true as steel, trusting and to be
trusted.-[N. Y. Times.