The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1881-09-02
Odd Items.

W III tlltCI u Cult IL Cuit Dt DDbblult.
Fashion item-Shorter pants are seen
on dogs during the dog days.
AT last an American play has proved
success in Paris. Two Frenchmen
wrote it,
WHEN THERE A WILL THERE'S a WAY.
Any one who has the will to try Thorn.
as Eclectric Oil will surely find the way
to robust health in cases of bronchial at.
fections, sore throat, pains, etc; and as
an internal remedy it is invaluable.
A boy in Georgia was knocked off a
mule by lightning the other day. The
lightning didn't dare tackle the mule.
Why is Zulu belle like prophet of
old? Because she has not much on er
in her own country.
PRETTY GOOD.
Jno. Bacon, Laporte, Indiana, writes:
"1our Spring Blossom is all you cracked
it up to be. My dyspepsia has all van
ished; why don't you advertise it; what
allowance will you make if ! take
dozen bottles, so that l could obige my
friends occasionally Price 50 cents,
trial bottles 10 cents.
"That butter is too fresh, as the man
remarked when the goat lifted him over
the garden fence.
A fruitful source of anxiety is found
in the small boy who has gorged him
self with green apples.
1t isn't because q woman is exactly
afraid of a COW that she runs away and
screams. 1t is because gored dresses are
not fashionable
PROOF POSITIVE.
We have the most positive and CON
vincing proof that Thomas Eclcctric Oil
is most eifectual specific for bodily
pain. In cases of rheumatism and neu-
| ralgia it gives instant relief.
One clam doesn't make chowder.
But very frequently that is about all
you get in it, all the same
They enforce the laws so strictly in
Vermont that man who disposed of a
small pond was arrested for pool selling.
| spEERs FORT GRAPE WINE.
| Physicians employ Speer's Port Grape
| Wine in their practice in all cases where
a pure wine is called for, and do all in
their power to foster and encourage its
production, for the reason that pure Port
| Wine is a difficult thing to get, and they
are 10th to prescribe doubtful or infe-
rior article Hundreds of New York
doctors have visited Speer'S vineyards,
but twelve miles from New York, and
examined and tested the wine For sale
| by G. a. Klein, druggist, Blooms
burg, Pa.
Mrs. Partington says that man fell
down the other day in an apple jack fit
and that his life was extirpated.
Cincinnati has founded "Home" for
widows who have no intention of accept
ing a second offer 1t is hoped that at
least two rooms will be occupied.
HAY FEVER.
| Mossrs. White d5 Burdick, druggists,
Ithaca. n. VI can recommend Ely's
Cream Balm to relieve all persons suffer-
ing with rose cold and hay fever. have
been sufferer from the same complaints;
have had great relief by using the balm.
have recommended it to many of my
friends for Caiarrh, and in all cases
where they have used the Balm freely
have been curcd. II. Kenney, dry goods
merchant, Ithaca, n. Y. Sept. 6, 1880.
, Trenton, n. j., Oct. %, 1880. | have
suffered for ght years with Hay Fever
, during July, August and September. In
} the beginning Of July this year, resort
ed to Elys Cream Balm, and have been
entirely free from the fever since the
. first application. 1 can recommend it as
, n cure Edward G. lIillman, at the New
Jersey State Arsenal, Price 80 cents.
/, Potato bugs make a good scarlet dye,
it is said. Possibly this may make scar
let ribbons cheaper by the time they go
out of fashion.
1t is said that Thirty persons IN q small
P town in Michigan were poisoned recent
ly by eating sausagcs. This comes from
" leaving brass collars on dogs.
Mr.. johnson, Pulaski, Ky, killed a
bronze turkey gobbler, eighteen months
old, that according to sworn statement,
e weighed fifty-fve pounds.
pIFFICuLT PROBLEM SOLVED.
Ambition, competition and over-eXer-
tion use up the vital powers of men and
women, SO that desire for stimulants
seems TO be n natural human passion, and
a | drunkenness prevails on account of this
, necessity foi bodily and mental invigor-
alton. Parkers Ginger Tonic fairly
B solves the difficult problem, and has
l brought health and happiness into many
> desolate homes. 1t does not tear down
an already debilitatcd system, but builds
t it up without Intoxicating, g,-ERQ,tirer
See other column.
> A person who falls into the Chicago
, river doos't die by drowning at ALL lie
, is dead before he touches the water, The
smell kills him.
Men are like pins. One with little
head may be just as sharp as one with q
! big head,
"Thcre is donkey in this section that
eats raw fish, and is very fond of it,
3 Jersey paper We see nothing strange
3 in this when we remember that fish is
t known to be 6rst-class brayiu food,
TONIC, Al,TERATIVE AND CArlIARTIC.
Simmons Liver Regulator, purely veg
etable, is not unpleasant 10 the taste. II
D is the medicine generally used in the
/ South to arouse the torpid liyerto healthy
5 action. 1t cures malaria, biliousness, dys
l. pepsia, headache, constipation and piles
n The action of the Regulator is free from
nausea or gripping, II is most effective in
starting the secretons of the liver eaus
, ing the bile to act as "a cathartic. When
4 there is an excess of bile in the stomach