Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1881-02-25
selfrf Misrellany.
Borrowing Neighbors.

Borrowing Neighbors.
L le laws do not reach all Il wo-
mans Affections. If her husband for
gets his gallantry, and attemps TO use
arguments more forcible than elegant,
the law steps in to take the hickory
stick out of his grasp; if "a thief helps
himself to her purse, without the pre-
vious ceremoney of asking permission
the law collars him and returns the
abstracted goods. The legal codeij
longer than we can think of, without
pain over our eyebrows-but where is
the law made aud provided to protect
a miserable female against borrowing:
"Missus wants to know if you won't
lend her your umbrella this morning
ours are all broken, and she's got
to go out"
Our umbrella. and the rain is COM
ing down at the rate of fifteen knots
an hour. Does our neighor supposed
We are waterproof ourself, like a duck,
or yard of patent oil-cloth: How
are We to get down town, in case of
necessity, We would like to know:
However, anything for peace. Take
the umbrela-take our lndia-rubher
boots-take our felt skirt, even, if less
won't content the borrower-only
keep away for the rest of the day.
Vain hope.
Would you have any objection to
lead your little jacket pattern: Mrs.
Trim wouldn't ask for it, only little
Tommy got hold Of hers last week,
and tore it up for kite tlil, and she
can't lind the cloth model either
No, certainly; take it long, If ever
the destructive element took human
shape, Tommy Trim is that embodi-
ment; and if he came acros, the origi
nal document of the Declaration of
Independence itself, he would pounce
upon it for that kite, which has more
tails than any Pasha in history. We
nevsr expect TO see the pattern again,
but what then: 1t wouldn't do for
Mrs. Trim 10 think us disoblging.
Rap, rap, rap again, just as our
scattered ideas are beinning to assume
some definite shape once more, and
our pen is freshly dipped in the ink
stand. Another nelghbor would like
10 borrow the morning paper aud the
new book on the table.
People call this a free country, vet
not for the life of us dare we send
back word that We haven't read the
desired articles oursclf-aud there
goes our nice little half hour Of read
my before dinner. The neighbor
have borrowed pretty much all our
books, except the Bible and dictionary
nobody seems 10 want these last
volumes.
Would we send ever our pepper
mint bottle TO Mrs. Stacks: Jacob
had the toothache, aud. rs Mrs. Slack
had lot OF unexpected oomtany
she would take it very Kind If We
could lend her a cup of molasses and
q pound or two OF butter."
That's right, drain out slender stock
Of molasses to the dregs. Always
happens so-just AS suse AS We calcul-
ate the cupboard shelves. 10 nicely
and don't 20 to the grocer's that very
day our neighbors want the very
Identical article that is nearest ''out,"
Company, indeed, We expect company
TO dinner-our husband is coming up
on that especial errand, and if he don't
have appie-dumphngs and molasses
he thinks the world is coming to an
end. But no matter, Mrs. Slack
help yourself and if your halfwitted
Bridget stirs the oil of peppermint in
to the soft gingerbread, and sets
Jacobs tooth jumping with molasses
she will win our everlasting gratitude. .
Mrs. Stephens wants to borrow
our new bonnet five minutes, 'just
for her cousin from the country to
ook at" and she sends it back with
great greasy finger marks on the spot
less white velvet. Now, if there is a
weak spot about us, it i. that bonnet,
and
Well, our feminine readers can
guess what We said, in the first trans
port our Indignation; it might not
look so we'll in print.
We thought that bonnet was the last
drop in our cup, but it WASH tle last
drop was u neat, little, three cornered
note, sealed with dove and olive
leaf, from the old maid across the way.
"Miss Jenkins wants to go to the lee.
ture tonight, and she has no one to
accompany her; do We suppose that
our husband would just as lief as not
go:"
Lending our husband! Only think
of it! After this we shall not be
astonished at any thing, not even if
the sewing machine and the family
baby are sent for,