Litchfield enquirer., 1881-03-03
I CLIPPINGS.

Sold by all prominent druggists -----~
 , II s| CLIPPINGS. ]. Frogs legs arc jumping good eating.
 Any girl with dswry of $50, 900 has a nice figure. -.-.a5 .. How shall we reach the boys2-Mrs Licer- more. Take a little longer shingle. How to get fat-Do not watch the butcher when he cuts your meat. What is the difference between fixed star and a meteor? One is a son, the other 8 darter.
 the baldheadest windest weather we ever had.
 A Staten island man wouldn't allow wo- man to kiss him, and she had him fined. He got of easy.
 If the revised edition of the bible will only make it sin to read borrowed newspaper the success of the work will be assured @
 Young clergyman at clerical meeting-'I merely throw out the idea" Old minister "Well 1 think that is the best thing you can do with it"
 The Baroness Burdett-Coutts says: My husband is very dear to me. believe the ex- act figures ars something like $1. 800, GOO, 900 per annum." "Neuralgia" is the charming name borne by charming girl Her fond mother found it on medicine bottle and was captivatsd with it's sweetness.
 "Papa. how do editors get in free at all the shows?" Well, sonny, as a general rule they give i've dollars worth of advertising for a twenty five cert ticket" i
 "All human situations have their inconve- niences," as B. Franklin said when he felt 150 pounds of feminine sweetness bearing con- fortably hard on his right knee. ! It is a fact worth remembering in the Wash ington holiday season that ashes made by burn- ing the wood of cherry tree will never pro. duce lye.
 "What would you do, Mr. Colfax, " asked a cabinet-maker, Eff you were offered place in the Presidents cabinet9" Quoth Schuyler, Well, should smile. D"
 Some one says the flowero of the British army is out against the Boers in South Africa, The commanders name indicates that it is the Colley flower. Fl &IA. : EI ~ gl
 Management of the worlds fair" is troub. ling New Workers just now. It is problem Adam struggled with when there was only one worlds fair, and she got the best of him.
 A school teacher in Berks county Pa. : has whipped fifty. eight pupils and had fights with seventeen fathers since November 1. Dur. ing the holidays he breaks colts and hunts wolves.
 R,.S man thinks ov iz himself; the seckond thing he thinks ov iz himself agin, and the third he thinks ov iz himself once more. Bully for man!"
 ''I don't like rubbers, " said Smithers; s'they draw my feet so." ''I didn't think rubbers were so powerful as that" replied Fogg. glancing at Smithers' underpinning; ''indeed 1 did not"
 When contribution box robber comes to look over the collection of bad nickels and buttons he has captured, he cannot help feel ing that there are 5disgastingly mean men in this world.
 An American, after dining at a London res- taurant, paid his bill and was about leaving when the waiter suggested that the amount did not include the waiter .stAh," said the man, ''but didn't eat the waiter"
 When Miss B-started for Paris she said to her aunt. practical lady: ''I shall bring ysu like?" The aunt, after reelection: "Blsck and white, my child-your poor uncle is So slck." s .s ~ & s4
 A charming picture of domestic happiness was seen through . Broad street window the other evening A beautiful bride was paint ing some lovely flowers on new silk dress, .l.sl l~@. nsA A& kkn L.~~I thoughtfully alarming his stoekihgs.J
 ''The land, my friends" said an Irish ora. tor the other day at a meeting. ''has belonged to the people from the days of Adam" Adam, indeed!" replied a voice in the crowd. "Do not speak of him he was evicted from the Garden of Eden withoutcompensa 'i'nT- ag 6a
 A Ghicage youth was sitting on the shore of skating pond utterly exhausted A solc- itous. friend asked the sufferer what ailed him.. After pausing to get his breath he thus ex- plained: '.Wsil, you zee, Miss Brown rest ed her foot on my knee to get her skate fast. sned and haven't got over the effect of it yet"
 He was just home from daincing. school. "Did you have a good time, my little man ?" asked his father. 'tYes,gsir; srealgoad time danced every tune excePtS the last. 'k And why not ehef?" asked the father 1 ssBecause Mir. Papanti wouldn't let me, and it was real mean. for there were two or three, empty girls. !" v FIT BILL
 A minister commenced his sermon by ob. serving: "Whst shadows we are!" and then paused as if to let the thought sink deeply into the minds of congregation, whereup0ns two lean spinsters Tn the front pew guessed tEey didn't come there to be insulted and got up and strode indignantly out.
 .'She is pretty and talented" said Senator Sauiisbury, tbut she had better be taking care of some good mans house, adorning woman's proper sphere asa wife and. .motiler." This was the comment made by Senator Bay ards bachelor colleague after listening to lecture by Miss Phoebe Ceusins, the St. Louis lawyer, in Dover, Del, the other night 'Take her, then, Senator" remarked a by. stander in response to Senator Saulsburys compliment, but he shook his head, smiled and walked away. -->' '&~ < ] The Fakir of Siva gave sleight of hand Der. formance in Galveston. o, e of his feats was to make marked dollar disappear in the sight of the crowd. which he silccessfulk did s'That marked dollar will be found in the vest pocket of that colored gentleman" said the Fakir, pointing with his magic wand iat Sam Johnsines tAll eyes iSiledson Sam. who advsnced to the front, took spne money from M ~ &. EI- n -ANF R