davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1881-01-02
THE WEATHER AT DIFFERENT PLACES.

THE WEATHER AT DIFFERENT PLACES.
INTENSE COLD IN NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. FROM
UP THE HUDsON-sNOw EXPECTED IN BALTIMORE.
BoSToN, Jan. 1.-ID the following cities and
towns the mcrcufY Montpelier. Vi, 90
Woodstock, Vt. 2Go Milford, n. H., 2G'; Newport. N.
H. 25o; Worthwhile. n. H.. 27o; COntOOco"k, \. H. and
Hancock Junction, n. H., 800 Antrim, $50.
POUGHKEEPsIE, n. Y, Jan. 1.-The intense cold CON
The here this morning RANGED from 2o
TO 15o below Reports from Pleasant Valley. Pine
Plains Mlllerron and other towns that the mer-
curry ranged from 90 % 800 below zero and along tue
river 80 1so below. The for miles 10 tho
sOuh is frozen solid The ice smooth and as clear as
crystal Hundreds are skating IN every direction
PETERSBURG. Va. Jan. 1.-The mercury hero this
morning indicated 40 below The weather in the
last tv days has been the coolest experienced here
fields.
WASHINGTON Jan. 12-At4 n. m. to-day the mercury
here l49 below zero. and at a. m. 100 below.
BALTIMORE, Jan. 1.-The steamer ID. H. Miller from
Boston, winch arrived to-day, reports all the way up
the Bay from Cove Point and very heavy ice from
Poplar Island The Ice boats Maryland and i. &.
LatIobe went dowl to-day TO keep open the track for
yessels and 20 TO IN need. Tho
weather has changed to-day, and there Is now, az
n. M, every indication OF another fail OF snow AZ
a. M the mercury 60 below zero, and NJ D. IN. 1870
above-a change OF 2io The wind at D. III. WAS from
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1881-01-02
1. K. FUNK & co.

John PlOughman's Pictures. By Sturgeon. 80 quaint
ILLUSTRATIONS Price 10 cents
Alfred the Great. BY Hughes, 30 cents
FrOndes Aggrestes. By kuskin, 10 cents
The Hermits. By Kingsley. 10 cents.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1881-01-02

and new beanes disclose themselves to me- Last week
l finished Bleak House and began Cur Mutual
Friend this week have finshed Our Mutual Friend
and am now deep in Dombey and Son. yhey generally
read 10 me from 10 TO or 1130 at night Nothing Is
permitted to interfere with this"
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1881-01-02
GEORGE w. CARLETON & CO..
MadisOn.square, ". Y.

Chatcau Dor BY Mary Holmes 81 90.
Life sarah Berabardt Authorized edition 25 cents
Brownies Triumph. BY Mrs. George Sheldon 81 o.
Jack In tue Jungle. BY p 4. Barnum; 81 90.
LOST for n WOnnn BY May Agnes Fleming.
john Swluf0a's Travels. Price, % cents-
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1881-01-02
DODD. MEAD s. co.

A Day of Fate. By e. p Roe, in q handsome l2mo vol.
Price, IL So
Pretty Peggy md Other Ballads Illustrated from de-
signs cOor3, By ROsna Emmett Square SVo 81 o.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1881-01-02
Apr11c OF ANTIQUE MANNERS.

An old-time courtesy that made passengers smile
on one of the elevated railway trains, recently. was
tho taking out of snuf.box by one man, and the
immediate dipping into 10 by a stranger sitting OPP
poxite without so much as BY your leave"
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1881-01-02
z. p. BUTTON,

Little Folks I'm Feathers and Fur and Others In
Neither. 4tJ, 36S pages. IT'S Illustrations. S2 80.
Qneer Pets at Marcy's. By Olive ThOrne Miller. 4to
326 pages 30 fine illustrations 81 30.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1881-01-02
JOnN WILEY & SONS


The DifernniinI CaIcnus. An abridged edition Of Rios
Treatise Founded the Method Of Rates or
Fluxous i vol. limo, cloth, ST. 90.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1881-01-02
T. q. PETERSON g. BROTaRxs,

Myrtle Lawn. new American Novel BY Robert Il.
Ballard, North Carolina 12mo. Morocco CLOTH 81 So
Lucie Rodcy. A novel by Henri Grevlle. Square
limo Paper. 30 cents cloth, 81 D.
Mama BY Emile lola. seque. TO - Assommor" Com.
plete and unabridged. Paper 70 cents, cloth 81
selfnade, or, Out Of fhe Depths. BY Mrs Emma. D.
N. s0uthworth Complete IN Two vol unes and Issued nm
der the names Ishmael" aud SELF naise" Morocco
cloth. gilt, price 81 10 each
The Trials Of Rstssa Russian Love Story By Henry
0Jevile. Prize 10 cents IN paper CT 81 In cloth
hly Hero. A Captivating Love etcFy. Ny Hero. BY Mrs
Forester. Price 40 cents in paper or 81 In cloth
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1881-01-02
FORDs, HOWARD & HILBERT.

The Lovers of Provence. Aucassln and NicOlette.
Bound skpattern CLOTH beveed boards with elaborate
design gold ktracey gilt edges So full calf OF
morocco anIique gilt, 81. All styles in boxes.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1881-01-02
ROBERTS BROS.

A Guernsey Lily. BY susm Coolidge Travel story Of
adventure in the Channel Islands one small 9ato volume
Pnce ~.
Verses BY Coolidge Square lSmo In very uniaae
style Of binding making an exceedingly appropriate gilt
Price 81
Memoir Of Governor Audrey Win Personal Rsminis
W Chandler With Portrait anu Views OF
ms Birthplace and Buralpace 16mo cloth Price, 81 20
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1881-01-02
w, ]. MIDDLETON.

Poe's Select Works Housenoid Edition. with New
LIE bg K ~ stoddaSd $40 pp limo. cloth, %; half ca
Poe's Poems editiun Al ths Poens Memoir,
ana Portrait square limo. cloth. 81
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1881-01-02
q. LOTHROP & co..
sCRIBNER a. WEXFORD,

True ILLNESS. From Thomas Hughes Introduction BY
James Russell Lowell. lGmo. cloth, sl
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1881-01-02
HENRY HOLT e. CO..

The Trumpet Major. i6mo Leisure Hoar serie&I 81
Troublesome Daughters. BY l. b. walford- suthsf Of
"Mr. Smith" l6m0. 81.
The Woeing Of the Water Which. By Evan Dadone
Copiousiy illustrates By noyrSmith Square limo 81
Dreansss. By katharine wylda limo. Leisure Hou'
n =
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1881-01-02
LATEST SHIPPING NEWS.

FOREIGN PORTS
HAyuz Jan Sailed str Cnibra Capt Ludwig for New.
YORK.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1881-01-02
MARRIED..

NEWBURY-BE "Wednesday december 20
1880, by tue Rev II. h. II mes. Alfred j. Sew1ury, OF
New.York to Fannie Be- nett Of Brooklyn. No cards.
Ill notices Of Marriages must be Endorsed wih full
name aud oH0re9S
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1881-01-02
TRIBUNE LOCAL OBSERVATIONS.

baromsticsl variation.
llnes give dvons the
white iae the
mercury hours The broken on line
the Indicated by the Thermometer Hdt
nuts Broadway.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1881-01-02
J.GLrfPINCorr q Co,

EhaEespeare's Dream. Poem BY William Leighton,
tto. Extra cloth, gilt tor. uncut edges 81 so
Ont Ora. A poem. By MIS-. B. H. Toland 4ta Extra
coth ait top. uncut edges, 81 So
Pcrscphonc, and other Poema BY Mira Charles willing
small 40. Extra cloth, git. 81 so
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1881-01-02

The rainfall December $780, 90 inches less than
for December The mean Temperature was degrees
Dec TO- IL ~, ~ and 81 and lunar halo observed
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1881-01-02

Ill notices Of
name and address
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1881-01-02
NEW BOOKS IND NER EDITIONS.
a. C. ARMSTRONG & son,

ResTtced 10 fuLy ai1srtlssI
heretofore the LftR1rg DlJ.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1881-01-02
THE SIGNAL SERVICE LOCAL REPORT.

Aosrae Of meteorological Report for EeV York for Deceuo
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1881-05-11
Poison Rings.

Poison rings still exist, says Il Lon
don paper, in many antiquarian collcc-
tions. They are generally of two kinds,
one intended as an engine of destruc-
ton to its wearer, the other simply as a
convenient receptacle or hiding place
for poison. Some years ago ring of
the former description was purchased
at a sale Of curiosities. Its device was
two sharp pointed claws holding a stone.
The purchaser, slipping it on his finger,
received slight scratch from these
claws; the points of which bent in
ward. His hand and arm very shortly
became swellcd and painful; doctor
was sent for, who pronounced the slight
scratch poisoned. Examination Of the
ring showed that the claws were hollow.
and that poisonous matter had been
contained in them; doubtless when
first made the ring would have caused
death, instead of merely inconvenience
to its wearer.
Rings intended TO contain poison are
frequently mentioned in ancient history
it was common TO carry one ats a con
venient means of suicide. BY such a
ring Demosthenes probably DESTROYED
himself, and some historians say Han
nibal likewise. NJ. Crassus, the over
seer of the temple of the Capitoline
Jupiter, being arrested on charge of
purloining some of the gold deposited
there, broke hollow receptacle Of MS
ring with his teeth, and fell dead ON
the spot. The Emperor Hcliogabalus
is said to have collection Of these
poison rings among his jewels.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1881-05-11

he had an aged and sick mother tC
keep, which his earnings could not al
ways do. What did our little Amcri
can girl do? She quietly proposed to
marry the marquis need not tell
YOU how readily he accepted. This i
the happiesI marriage between a poor
French noblcman and rich Amcri-
can girl that know Of I can give
the number Of the house and the street
where the first act Of the comedy took
place. The marquis walks now rs
straight as any one, and the dowagcr
marchioness may frequently be seen
at the Bois sitting by the side Of her
brilliant daughter-in-law, whom she
worships, rs well she may.--Corres-
pondcncc Philadelphia Bulletin
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1881-05-11
A Story From Paris.

During the last year was in Pari:
| heard very pretty story. A party
of merry, bright-eyed American girls
were at window looking oil to a court
yard. Soon a seemingly old man cross
ed the yard. That's the Marquis OF
Y.," said one of the girls. "Hc lives
in a garret Of the house and lives by
giving French lessons" "Pll begin
lessons with him tomorrow then" said
one of the youngest girls. And she
did so. She soon perceived that her
master was one Of the most polished
men she had ever met. He was not
over 80. Want and grief alone had
bent him into premature old age, for
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1881-05-11
How IL Wnrked.

On the lst Of January this year
framed a series of prohibitory resolu
tions for the purpose of suppressing my
small vices Of drinking and smoking
with the following results;
From January / to II, 158l.--l
kept them all, but lost ten pound:
weight.
January 20.--Modifod resolution
against smoking Allowed myself one
cigar per diem.
February Modified resolution
against drinking. Allowed myself one
glass lager per diem.
February 1S.--Extra occasion. Sus-
pended rules for the day. Visit from
old friend. Two cigars and a bottle Of
champagne.
March Amendment to the consti-
tuition. Two glasses lager per day.
March 9.-Another amendment
Two cigars per day each Saturday.
April 2.--Codicil to the constitution.
Bought bottle brandy to keep in the
house. Bad principle to be without
brandy. Possibility of sickness at night
and no drug store nearer than three
blocks. Besides the baby is tecthing.
April 6.-Therc has been sickness in
my household, The brandy is half
gone.
April 9.--NIorc sickness. The bran
dy is all gone. The rules were sus-
pended during the exodus.
April 25.-I have been considering
this matter Of total abstinence from
small vices with myself, and have come
to the conclusion that the sudden
changes are attended with danger
Have increased my allowance Of beer
TO three gIos.o, per diem.
May And two cigars.
May '.--PIs-ad an act 60 1ncnJ
az act relative to my resolution per
diem. increased allowance to four
glasses per diem.
May 10.--An extra day. This must
be counted out. Had no known cause
for increasing my allowance Of lager.
But did it. Nature has mysterious
moods. Thi. has been one Of them.
May Its no use trying to work
this thing up any longer for 1881. /
shall resume and suspend further ab-
stinence until lSS2.-N. Y. Graphic.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1881-05-11
Advertising Cheats.

1t has become so common to write
the beginning of an elegant, inter-
esting article and then run il into
some advertisement that we avoid all
such cheats and simply call attention
to the merits of Hop Bitters in as
plain, honest terms as possible, to in
duce people to give them enc trial
as no one who knows their yalue will
ever use anything else. M.Ih
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1881-05-11

The Indianapolis Herald calls atten-
ton to the fact that the very day Dal-
zell, an Ohio man, refused an office, the
great earthquake at Scio occurred
The fact is not so surprising as the
Herald supposes. The earthquake was
simply an effort of nature to make
another opening for Mr. Dalzell.-
Louisville Courier-Journal.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1881-05-11

The Breakfast Table dishes up this
food for thought; "Whcn the funny
man of London daily writes a good
joke the editorial staff is called up,
oysters are served, and the paper don't
appear that day. And it is note
worthy fact no London daily has miss
cd publication day for ten years
back"
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1881-05-11
EEE!;NI'AHE 1 ! II HEEI|,sy:'lS
How Lost, How Restored

just Published, a new edition OF DR.. Culvorwell's
Celebrated Essay on the radical cure of Sperma-
torrhma or seminal weakness, involuntary seminal
losses, impotoncy, mental and physical inoapacity,
impediments TO marriage, ETC., also, consumption,
epilepsy ana fits, induced by soiindulgenco sexual
cXtravngance, etc.
The celebrated author, in this admirable essay,
clearly demonstrate, from thirty years successful
practice, that the alarming consequences of self
abuse may DO radically cured pointing out mode
of cure ot once simple certain and etiectual, by
means OF which every sufferer, no matter what his
condition may be, may himself choaply private
ly and radically.
youth and every man in the land
Sent under seal in plain envelope 10 any address
postpaid on receipt of SIX cents or two postage
stamps We have also n sure cure for Time Worm
Address TIE CULVEEWELL MEDICAL CO.
n Ann ST. New York, n. Y; Post Office Box 45s6.
50tvt
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1881-05-11

make a minute of that duel, Mr.
Shearer," said the chief to the news
editor. Cant do it," replied the
subaltern. "Why notf' "Cause
there's only two seconds in it." (Ver-
dict of accidental death, caused by in.
crease of salary. Buffalo Morning
News.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1881-05-11
ADvrrrrsrvo u.~~e

line. s
-"".I Nu-i.ss, .'n c.uf- l.r line each ins1rtion
.ha ai, HY'lra. rsutiuU Tor three months oi
ious.r, discount OF % pea cent.
Adlel,is'W"u.s tnac'ompauied by written or
verbal directions W3l Ic published three month 2
Adt,risrW0nt. uUd.ronutract ordered out be :
lore cNpU1tiou of time. HIIl be- charged full rntss
," paper discontinued until Uil auoarages are
paid cNrrp. 900 ihu option of tho publisher
transient advertisements must ho paid Ia ad-
.tUCC.
~ Isuus. CASH .a.au.r quarterly.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1881-05-11

Druggists are getting up corners on
soda water.-New Orleans Picayunc.
Their efforts will end in a fizzle.-New
Haven Register.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1881-05-11

Since the Chicago Times established
its agricultural department the Illinois
farmers have thrashed their turnips at
least n week earlier than formerly
Courier Journal.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1881-05-11

A Washington paper has a column
headed Religious Refrains." A great
many people in Washington refrain
from religion.-New York Evening
Express.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1881-05-11

Coffee county, Tenn, is being settled
up by immigrants from Massachusetts.
Of course they must find good grounds
upon which to settle.-AIodern Argo.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1881-05-11

A brave man may face mad bull
with fire in his eye and courage in his
heart, but sign marked "small pox
fetches' him.-New York Commercial
Advertiser.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1881-05-11

Sara Beruhardt says she cant see
how the men resist tumbling head and
ears in love with the handsome Amer
lean girls" We tumble.-New York
Commercial Advertiser.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1881-05-11

Grasping corporations are robbing
the people Of this country of all their
rights. The Harlem Road has forbid
den its conductors to hirt while Oh
duty.-Boston Transcript.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1881-05-11

A tailor was startled the other day
by the return of bill which he had
sent to an editor, with Il notice that the
manuscript was respectfully declined. ="
New York Evening Express.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1881-05-11

The report that the Car has order.
ed $4,000 barrels Of whisky from Louis
vile is of the deepest significance. 1t
indicates, beyond a doubt, that he is
taking measures to compromise with
the Nihilists.--Lowell Courier-Journal.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1881-05-11

Will the coming man eat dried ap-
pies Central City Item. If he wish
es to be classed as a swell he probably
will.-Modern Argo.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1881-05-11

Pray, how shall I, a little lad, in
speaking make figurc?' Wait till
the cucumber comes, my boy. That
will double you up so YOU will feel like
a cipher.-New Haven Repistcr.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1881-05-11

To steal a ride on an elevated rail
way would be highway robbcry.-New
Orleans Pcayune.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1881-05-11
THE GREAT
BURLINGTON ROUTE.

szy~ No other limo runs Three Through Pas
senger Trains Daily between Chicago, Des
Moines, Council Bluffs, Omaha, Lincoln, st.
Joseph, Atchison, Topeka and Kansas City.
Direct connections for all points i'm Kansas,
Nebraska, Colorado, Wyoming, Montana, Ne
vada, New Mexico, Arizona, Idaho, Oregon and
California.
The Shortest, Speediest and Most Comforta-
BILE Route via Hannibal TO Fort Scott, Denlson,
Dallas, Houston, Austin, San Antonio, Calves
ton and all points in Texas.
Tho unequGlod inducements offered by this
lime TO Travellers and Tourists, are as follows:
The celebrated Pullman QG-wheeD Palace
Sleeping Cars run only on this Limo, c., II. e.
.. Palace Drawing-iOOm Cars, with Horizons
Reclining Chairs. No extra charge for Seats
in Reclining Chairs. Tho famous c., II. & Q.
Palace Dining Cars. Gorgeous Smoking Cars
fitted with Elegant High-Backed Rattan Re-
Nolving Chairs for the exclusive use of first
class passengers.
Steel Track and Superior Equipment, COM
bined with their Great Through Car Arrange
ment, makes this, above all others, the favorite
Route to the South, Southwest and the Far
West
Try IL, and you will find travelling luxury
instead of discomfort.
Through Tickets via this Celebrated Limo
for sale at all Offices in tho United States and
Canada.
All information about Rates of Fare, Sleep
ing Car Accommodations, Time Tables, &c,
will be cbeerfully given by applying to
JAMES Il. WOOD,
General Passenger Agent, Chicago.
n. j. POTTER,
General Manager, Chicago.
.nnv.ft
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1881-05-11

This Nihilist business is a-bom-in-
Observation-Disclosures. Y. Commercial
Advertiser.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1881-05-11

A drummer went west and got sick F;
and when asked where it happened, re.
piled that he was Illinois.
vile Herald.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1881-05-11
CHAS. ~. CORNELL,
Architect g. Draughtsman.

O1co on state street. opposite Lewis street, AL
pgna, Mich VIII furnish plans and specifications for
buildings, and supcrutcnd the construction OF the
same IL desired. win also give attention 10 the
making and copying of maps. All kinds Of oTna-
mental designs, writing and lettering in India Ink
water or oil colOrs done on short notice and at
Sonable rates
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1881-05-11

Doctors live by pillagc.--Stcubcn-
Vile Herald.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1881-05-11

Purchasers of rare old china are
often stuck cup people,-Brooklyn Ar
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1881-05-11
Detroit g. Bav City Railroad,
C8.GG SOUTH.

Flag station.
Al trains daily r.rUpt sundays.
NIGHT aypr,s, in both directions has Wagner
sleeping car attached Cd aud from Saginaw and
BAY CITY AMI Detroit.
S. E. GALLAWAf, e., 7. BARRON,
Cont Sgpt. Gcul Pass. Ast.
w. ". UEAFFuEu, Travelling Agent,
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1881-05-11
WIT AND HUMOR.

WIT AND HUM0R.
Doctors live by pillagc.--Stcubcn
vile Herald
Purchasers of rare old china are
often stuck cup people.-Brooklyn AR
gus.
This Nihilist business is a-bom-in
Observation-Disclosures. Y. Commercial
Advertiser.
To steal ride on an elevated rail
way would be highway robbery.-NeN
Orleans Picayune.
"A drummer went west and got sick
and when asked where it happened, re.
piled that he was Ill-inois.-Steuben-
vile Herald
Will the coming man eat dried APP
pies Central City Item. If he wish
es to be classed as a swell he probably
will.-Modern Argo.
Druggists are getting up corners on
soda water.-New Orleans Picayunc.
Their efforts will end in fizzle.-New
Haven Register.
Coffee county, Tenn, is being settled
up by immigrants from Massachusetts,.
Of course they must find good grounds
upon which to settle.-NIodern Argo.
"A Washington paper has a column
headed Religious Refrains." A great
many people in Washington refrain
from religion.-New York Evening
Express.
A brave man may face mad bull
with fire in his eye and courage in his
heart, but sign marked "small pox"
fetches' him.-New York Commercial
Advertiser.
Since the Chicago Times established
its agricultural department the Illinois
farmers have thrashed their turnips at
least week earlier than formerly.-
Courier journal.
Sara Bernhardt says she cant see
how the men resist tumbling head and
ears in love with the handsome Amer
lean girls" We tumble.-New York
Commercial Advertiser.
Grasping corporations are robbng
the people Of this country of all their
rights. The Harlem Road has forbid
den its conductors to hirt while on
duty.-Boston Transcript.
A tailor was startled the other day
by the return of bill which he had
sent to an editor, with notice that the
manuscript was respectfully declined"
New York Evening Express.
lay HoN Slldli 1, llllic ElV, H. /
speaking make Il fgure?" Wait till
the cucumber comes, my boy. That
will double you up so YOU will feel like
a cipher.-New Haven Register.
The report that the Car has order.
ed $4,000 barrels Of whisky from Louis
vile is of the deepest significance. 1t
indicates, beyond a doubt, that he is
taking measures to compromise with
the Nihilists.--Lowell Courier-Journal.
"Makc minute of that duel, Mr..
Shearer," said the chief to the news
editor. Cant do it," replied the
subaltern. "Why noti' "Cause
there's only two seconds in it" (Ver-
dict of accidental death, caused by in
crease of salary Buffalo Morning
News.
The Breakfast Table dishes up this
food for thought "Whcn the funny
man of London daily writes good
Joke the editorial staff is called up,
oysters are served, and the paper don't