National Republican. (Washington City (D.C.)) 1872-1888, 1881-01-29
ANOTHER SYMPOSIUM
SECOND MEETING OF THE BEATS.
Experiences at Sufridge Meeting AN Order
for Imprisonment-Oth Interesting Pro.
eeedings of the Meeting-COngres-
siOnal Affairs Discussed.

siOnal Affairs Discussed.
Ii was half an hour after the usual time before
the worthy symposiarch made his appearance in
| front of the hotel. And such anappearance, He
looked like an all night session of the House or
Cronins nose after il had been sat upon by the
Electoral Commission. He had black eye, cut
across the forehead, and huge bump never de-
signed by nature) upon the back of his head, and
which caused his hat to tilt over in front to the
very verge of falling Besides, it noticed that
he walked lame and kept his left hand hidden in
the breast of his coat.
I'm agin suffridge," he remarked, after having
called the meeting TO order by blast upon his
nasal organ so loud that it awoke sleeping hack
man on the opposite side of the way; " I'm agin it
now and forever, amen! and I'm agin sech bein'
dimmycrat, and I'm agin sech bein' sufferer"
He then proceeded to detail his experiences of
few evenings previous at meeting called TO adj
vance the interests of certain clique, who cared
less for the privilege of voting than being voted
for He said he took part in the deliberations, al
though there wasn't anything very deliberate
about it after all; that when he arose to make
speech some one cried. Fire him outr'
He didn't stop to count the steps nor even to
calculate the number of flights of stairs. The
bathroom where the meeting was held he thought
ing by the number of bumps. however, he inclined
to the opinion that he was at least halfway to the
topof ladderwhen he started for the bottom.
He had paper of large tacks in one of his pocke3
behind. During his journey the paper burst open,
and every individual tack took turn at standing
on its head. He tried the same game several
times, but it didn't hurt him anything like as
bad as the tacks. He was not able to say how
many were put in package, but could easily tell
by counting the marks upon his person.
The relation of his story of disaster provoked
considerable discussion, which eventually resulted
in the offering of series of resolutions calling for
a committee of investigation.
Ke-yurnel Birthstone. who led the unarmed
100000 from the Blue Grass region during the stir
ring days of 76, suggested that the whole matter
be referred to the committee that investigated the
"realeState pool" with power to imprison wit
ness until he produced his private books and pa
pers.
To this suggestion NIajah" Podger moved as an
amendment, that the limit of imprisonment, in
case of refusal TO answer, be fixed by the cost of
entertainment, to be aseertaned in advance The
difference between one and forty dollars a day
was too great. No mans stomach could stand it.
Besides, he said, it would be well to know whose
coon was being cotched," and not have all the
silk-gOwned gentry sitting down on top of a
busted corpse. Thus amended the resolutions
were adopted.
Deacon FulsOme moved that a committee OF
Ohio men be appointed TO look after the interests
of the society during the Inauguration season.
He said that 1t gave promise of being magnificent
affair, and Washington ought to do her duty.
Judge Ke-ayrter inquired what progress had
been made in obtaining funds
Ke-yurnel Cheekey replied that thus far nearly
ninety cents had been actually subscribed and
paid in; that but about SO, 100 would be required
and according to his arithmetic, there was only
the small sum of si9G9910 lacking. The 18th of
March was month Of. Collections had averaged
twenty-five cents a week thus far Success was
certain.
At this point the chairman Of the committee ap-
pointed at a preceding symposium TO secure a
place of meeting presented a report TO the effect
that the committee had obtained eligible quarters
in the back room of "Smoke House Jims" restau-
rant. The lunches not altogether firsclasS but
never failed. Besides, little went a great way,
the cheese especially.
The Honorable Chadwick CEinwind, who had
formerly served one term in Congress and subse-
quently been promoted to 2 frSt-class Government
clerkship, wished to be informed concerning the
peculiar and rather suggestive cognomen of their
prospective host.
The chairman of the committee responded that
strict fidelity to truth required him to state that
"Smoke-House jim was slightly sun-burned-a
little dark-in fact, a "niggero."
Il (hic) raised that boy, he added. with sudden
burst of enthusiasm and breath that smelied of
bad whisky; d" razim (hicl.; n likelr nig-(hic)
gero new hOed-rOw-cotn, sab; (hic) r had br
mars'r. L razim."
TWAS quite evident that the speaker had been
successful in more ways than one Had he not
been man and brother the meeting would have
declared him decidedly drunk. As it was, he was
slightly exhilarated.
When he had subsidized Majah" Shadsby gave
a prolonged whistle.
Elder Stukey clasped his hands devoutly in front
of his capacious stomach, and murmured some
thing that sounded decidedly orthodox.
The presiding officer reached out his uncrippled
hand and gathered in a fresh plug of tobacco from
the secretary bit Off fingers length with one twist
of his massive jaws, and unconseiously deposited
the remainder in his own pocket.
Astonishment, anger, disgust, followed after
each other in rapid succession, and were visibly
depicted upon the cOuntenances of those present
Meanwhile the cause of these varied feelings
stood clinging to lamppost singing softly as if to
himself, to the tune Of Captain links:
al once (hic) sot on the county cote,
Befo' tn niggeroes (hic) c'u'd vote
And used TO (hic) TO turn my cote
To keep me (hie) in my offs;
But times are (hic) are now too bad
Tn Dimmy- (hicl-crats are beat, by dad
We're (hic) to be ruled by cussid Rad
And niggeroes (hicl i'll offs.
Il used I wallop that (hc) that jim
Till his thic) his eyes begun TO dim
An now he's shown my love FIR him
BY usin me (hic) as he orter.
I'm Dimmycrat n Bourbon too
But would Mt raise (hic) sech hullabaloo
Efyou WIZ me n | wuz you,
Fer Jim's (hic) regular snorter.'
Ke-yurnel Ke-ayrter was the first to speak He
said he had just been informed by a member of the
that they had sampled every saloon in
town-had taken in" about half OF them. but
"a Smoke-House Jims" was the only one that would
take them in. Why should they hesitate: Hams
children were set apart TO serve: let Jim serve
them. He was only halfa Ham, but what the odds ?
A half ham is better than no meat.
The Honorable Chadwick Cilinwind called for
ballot, remarking that were so well qualified
10 improve and elevate the coiored race as were
their old masters. To bring the matter TO a focus.
he said. he would move that the symposium ex-
tend TO Smoke-House Jim the honor of their &C
Of the inequalities of his famous resort
for purposes of business pleasure and the objects
of the society.
"Majah" Shadsby seconded the motion, and,
upon being put to vote it was carried unanimously
This question having been satisfactorily disposed
OF, Ke-yurnel Cadger proposed that collection be
taken for the purpose Of enabling him to purchase
paper collar. He did not believe in fashionable
dressing but yet desired to look respectable
He had several appointments that evening with
members of Congress and would like 10 refresh his
toilet.
The hat was nsSSad arn,,pd in S;Ianoa and q