Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1881-10-13
Grease and Dishwater.

There is but one drawback to the de-
lights OF camping out. Persons who
are accustomed to sleep only in wen-ap-
pointed beds and to eat what are called
by Western statesmen " square meals -
fancy that rain and cold and hard beds
and insects and general discomfort are
inseparable from camping out. This is
wholly mistake, and were bad weather
and depraved insects the worst evils to
be overcome while living under canvas,
such life would be full of unalloyed
delight. But there are dishes which
must be washed, and man is so made as
to be unable to wash dishes with any
success. The unwashed dishes of
breakfast, dinner, and supper hang
over the camper-Out--tO use metaphor
of probably Irish origin---like dark
cloud, and seriously obscure the bright
ness of his daily life.
It is remarkable with what eagerness
men will assume every camp duty ex-
cept that of dish-washing. He who has
never cooked before will volunteer to
cook an intricate breakfast or an abb
struse dinner solely in order that he may
be relieved of washing the dishes. Men
have been known to walk miles in order
to buy milk, to labor for hours in build
ing a lead-to," or even to dig for
bait in places where the soil does not
average more than one worm to the
square yard-an being animated with
the same ardent desire to let somebody
else wash dishes. It is not that the task
is felt to be degrading, nor solely be-
cause it is difficult one. There are
dishes, such as coffee-cups and knives,
which can be easily and quickly washed,
and which any energetic man would be
perfectly willing to wash. The real
reason of the unusual hatred of dish
washing among men is the utter impOs
sibility of getting the grease out of the
frying-pan.
1t may be asked by superficial think
ers, or by those who have no expert
mental knowledge of the subject, Why
is it that there should be so much diff
Guilty in removing given quantity of
grease from given utensil? The truth
lies in the self-expansive power of
grease-a popularity of that objection
able substance known only to scientific
persons and to campers out, and capa-
BILE of driving the most able philosopher
to despair and the use of strong Ian
guage. A given quantity of grease
frying-pan were it to remain given
quantity. When, however, it is found
that the more grease the dish-washer
removed, the hopeless nature of his task
becomes apparent.
Prof. Hardness, of the Smithsonian
Institution, has proved by actual expert
ment that lard when brought in contact
with a frying-pan expands to four times
its original bulk. He undertook, while
camping out in China in connection
with the national transit of Venus pic
mic, to fry five small fish in an ordinary
frying-pan. He placed in the frying
pan half a pound of lard, fried the fish
in it, and afterward drew the fatal lot
which compelled him to act as dish
washer. He Iabored for one hour and
thirty minutes at that frying pan. Du.
ring this period he distributed lard all
over his clothing and over large part
of the Chinese Province of Hoang- Chin.
He also filled two tin pint cups with lard
taken from the frying pan, and when he
finally ceased the effort to wash that
exasperating utensil and called for
pair of scales, it was evident to every
observer that there was great deal
more lard in that neighborhood than
there had been two hours earlier. The
testimony of the scales showed that
there was half a pound of lard on the
Professors clothing, another half pound
in the two tin cups, and another half
pound still in the frying-pan, while it
was estimated that at least like guam
tity was distributed over the surface of
the Hoang-Chin Province. Thus the
original amount of lard had quadrupled
itself, and rendered the effort to clean
the frying-pan unsuccessful. Prof.
Hardness tried the same experiment six
consecutive times, and was thus enabled
to ascertain that lard, when placed in
frying pan which is afterward subjected
to the washing process, expands until it
is 4.07 times its original bulk.
Perseverance, hot water and soap are
all very well, but how can they make
clean a frying-pan in which grease
forms as fast as it is removed? So i'm
possible is it to get the grease out of
frying-pan that the unfortunate camper
out who is assigned to wash dishes has
often been compelled to adopt illicit
schemes to convince his fellows that he
has successfully cleaned the frying pan.
The most common of these dishonest
practices is perhaps the most objection
able. 1t consists in covering the bottom
of the frying-pan with fine layer of
sand, and then heating the frying-pan
on the fire until the sand forms a brown
crust over the grease. The wicked
dish-washer then announces that the
bottom of the frying-pan has been
somewhat blistered by the heat, but
that it is perfectly clean, and as a rule
this mendacious explanation is readily
accepted by his fellows. The result is
that when the frying-pan is next used,
whatever article of food is cooked in it
becomes impregnated with sand, where
by the innocent cook is subjected to
undeserved language and sometimes to
clubs.
1t is evident that chemistry can alone
furnish the means of properly cleaning
the frying-pan. What is needed is some
thing which when mixed with the grease
will instantly combine with it and pro-
duce soap. In all probability some such
substance is known to women, and used
by them in their private dish-washing.
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