Morning journal and courier., 1881-08-01
NOTES AND BEAMS.


 She went out with her 1Srasol, szs , And said that she would parry Sol,
 But instead of that
 she knocked the hat -s From the head of MT. Tarricol;
 And as he muttered. "Flam it all !"
 And picked it out
 From the gutter's route,
 She chirped: "Excuse my parasol !" It nitted toward another coot
 And the right eye E -2t t-r Of Mir. By
 Was penstratsd to the root.
 The way he spluttered
 And words he uttered,
 The light of pzint.wont bear at all ;-
 Said she. "Excuse my parasolg'
 And on it went that parasol.
 In terror putting tall and small;
 It poked and jabbed.
 And punched and grabbed,
 And every time it made haul
 Folks wondered st its owners gall,
 While she would say,
 In mad'ning way,
 "You'n please excuse my parasolr ir0 --L0uisUille Courier. r-.JOJtrEdi. We expect shortly to be forcibly abducted by . Eailread maz1s ssna paid 80 to ge to Chi cago.-Nes1 YoTS Commercial No woman should borrow the husband of another; because it is not good for man to be loan.-Neao Orleans Picdy1taae. A Detroit doctor says people with light eyes and hair are those who have warts. Now if some savant will tell us what color of eyes and hair denotes snoring, many unhappy marriages will be prevented. Philadelphia Chronicle Herald.
 A sensitive miss from Mobile
 Cried s'Horrorsi ! how nervous file;
 I'm sure there's a mouse
 Concealed in the house,
 And eating the Indian mile"
 vender of milk from Milwaukee,
 Having paid for horse that proved baufee, % Became much depressed,
 And fully confessed,
 How it happened his milk chaukee. cook who had several receipts
 For serving up poultry and meipts
 When asked to make pies,
 Replied, with surprise, "I was not employed to cook sweipts." A Theologian in Doubt-A bishops son, not very long ago, was a candidate for holy orders, but was unable to answer any of the questions put to him by the examining chap lain. At last the chaplain tried very easy reth was born ?" The young man looked embarrassed. 'Aw-well-aw," he said, after a pause, "I can't say remember the exact place at the moment, but am-pshawl it was-aw-somewhere on the continent. :" And yet this is Christian country.-Early Hour
 s'So you're not going to marry Ezra Has, kins' daughter though you know my heart Is set on that match" thundered Sir Marina OOAO tA0 0aAE to A1AS oOh,A0Li .4NOAsoAs the ox-tamer of Yellow Springs. ''No, sir" meekly replied the young man. ''And, sir" roared the exasperated father, ''msy I ask why you dare thus to thwart my expressed will p ''Yes, sir," said his son, in low, faint voice, like joke before breakfast, "be- cause I asked her, and she said she'd rather marry pump log for brains than anybody in this family" s'Ah!" exclaimed Sir Mar maduke, with a fading infection, and then he turned away to the new Ayrshire COW in the corner of the lot, and said, in the voice of a cloud, "Huddup yer foot, ye fur tailed imp of thistle patch, or I'll knock ye over with neck yoke!'' And his own son knew that the proud-spirited old man was thinking of Her. Burlington Haaoteye. The head line artist of the Fargo Oak ) Aayus tackles a column of religious notices in Sunday morning edition as follows: o Sinner, who the Long Week Through, for Mann mon Workest Well, Thy Town-site Drop,
 Likewise Thy Crop. Listen to
 the Sunday Bell. It Rings the Sale of Golden Lands to All Who'd
 'Scape Deaths Doom Then oh
 Invest Among the Blest. Catsh
 on This Heavenly Boom. Come Now and Hear the Blessed Tale. Shake
 Of Thy Rents and Stocks, and Inci-
 dentally Don't Forget the
 iqsioD Roy