Weekly Chillicothe crisis. (Chillicothe, Livingston Co., Mo.) 1878-19??, 1881-05-26
"PerfectIY ParaIYzing.'

On the way to Buffalo, says the Bur
lington Hawkeye, two "young people,
got on the train somewhere east Of
Cleveland. They were going back tC
school. They were not silly, ignorant
country young people. BY no manner
of means. They represented seminary
and college culture, for the young mal
was on his way back to Cornell. They
dropped into a seat opposite the pill
grims, and they talked, and the passen.
gers in the immediate vicinity listened
to this highly intellectual interchange
of pulsing thought and thrObbing sen,
timent:
Say" exclaimed the impetuous
youth, 81 heard something about you. y
"Oh you" she replied, "what was
| IitY"
"Shan't tell"
"Thats real mean. Who told you?"
"Oh, l know" he asserted; "it par
alyzed me-"
"Well, what was it abOut?"
"Down there at Chautauqua, that
time. Oh, that paralyzed me. Te-he,
te-he."
"What," she exclaimed, in tones of
intense surprise, as though it was the
first time she had ever heard of such IL
place-"Chautauquaw
"Aw, yes, you know. Out there
with"
"With whom? Te-he."
"Oh, pshaw. Te.he, te-he."
81 don't know what yOu mean"
"Oh, no youdon't. Well, itparaly2ed
me-"
"Well, | don't care anyhow; it amt
So"
"Well, | got it pretty straight. 1t
just paraly2ed me-"
"WhO told yOu?"
you'll never tell told you"
"NO, indeed won't"
"Well, got it from Will Blank. 1t
just paraly2ed me-"
"Oh, | know what you mean now.
Well, what Of it? Te-hc, te-hc."
"Aw, well, Il good deal of it, Tc-hc,
tc-he."
"Why, that was nothing. Te-hc,
tc-he."
"Aw, it just paralyzed me-"
81 don't believe you know anything
about it anyhow. Tc-hc, te-hc"
ayes, do know all about it. Just
paTly2ed me, tell YOU
"Wcl, what did he say about the
othcr?'
"Oh, he told me all about that"
"What did he think?'
81 won't tell YOU
"Oh, please do?"
"Ah, you're too anxious"
Indeed, | think | ought to know"
you'll get mad if tell you.' (Thrn,
suddenly remembering that he hadn't
made the remark for thirty seconds -
at Just paraly2cd me-"
"No, won't get mad
"Ycs, you will"
NO, | won't
"Ics, You will. It'll paraizr you."
"No, won't get mad. Not at YOU"
"Oh, pShaw! Won't you?'
"lndecd won't. | will he thankful
toyou, | will do something for you
some time"
"oh, hush, you paaly2c me-" he
sighed.
"WelI, tell me, won't you:" she
pleaded.
If you are real sure you won't get
mad.'
"lndced and indeed | won't. What
did he say about IT."
"Well, he said he didn't care. 1t
paralyzed me- (rhen with a sudden
of genius he added,-"And
don't you forget IT,
"Are you sure he didn't"
"lIe said he didn't? Oh, was par
aly2ed. Te-he-he."
"Wcll, I'm glad"
"Yes, | thought you would be-"
"Why|
ooh, because. Te.hc."
"Nell, why 40 You tlllllk so:
"Well, because"
But why? Te-hc."
"Oh, because"
"Wcll you must have some rcasOn?'
"Oh, know. 1t just paralyzed me,
| tell you. Te-he.he"
At this interesting point in the con-
verSatiOn, the passengers got out at
Silver Creek 70 conceal their emotion.
The jester was weeping. The man on
the wood box was swearing under his
breath. The fat passenger was pur-
pie in the face, and the sad passenger,
lifting his hands TO heaven, said:
Immortal gods, dwellers on high
Olympus. Did | ever, in all my cal
lowest days, profanc the sacred quiet
Of the day with such colossal, heaven
laring, maddening, soul.destroying
No; thousand times no,
BY all the vOiceless gods that guard
5hc awful gates of eternal silence, no,
Jy thunder, / never did"
"Youlbet your life you did" said the
woman who talks base, and, without
breaking the deadlock, the senate ad-