Smyrna times., 1881-07-20
Girls as Barometers.

A great discovery in the field of weather
prophecy has recently been made by Prof
MacgregOr of the Royal Society. The pub
lished record of his experiments is ex-
tremely interesting, and they certainly
give us good reason to believe that a sub
stitute for the barometer has at last been
found
Prof. MacgregOr tells us that his atten-
ton was attracted to the use of girls for
scientific purposes by overhearing a
young lady remark that her ''bang" would
not keep crimped i'll damp weather. Upon
this hint he Immediately began a series of
experiments, stretching over period of
eleven months, and involving the use of
3O7 girls. He began by asking a red
haired girl with luxuriant bang, which
lie caused to be crimped with great care
on an evening when the atmosphere was
particularly dry. The next morning the
bang presented beautiful ''frizzed" ap-
pearance, but, as toward afternoon the air
grew perceptibly fOggy, the Professor ex-
pected to see the bang lose its crimpidity
to use a scientific term. 1t did nothing
of the kind; and, so far as he could see,
the status of the atmosphere had no effect
upon it.
Instead of being discouraged by this
failure, Prof. Macgregor persevered. 1t
occurred to him that the color of the hair
might be an important factor, and that
red hair might retain its crimpidity in
circumstances where other hair would
lose this quality. He therefore ordered
from charity school three dozen orphan
ed girls of from II to 16 years of age, and
of assorted colors point of hair, Twelve
of these were black-haired, twelve were
brOwn-haired, and twelve were red-headed.
All Of these girls wore bangs, and were in
every way well adapted for scientific in
vestigatiOns. BY long series of careful
experiments he proved that on the ap-
prOach of wet weather the bangs of the
brOwn-haired girls, without exception, be-
came limp and straight, that light effect
was produced upon the bangs of the
/ N"NANN S5lllNs WHY lIC ICtl-
haired girls were not a particle influenced
either by the humidity or dryness of the
atmosphere. Further experience upon
ladies of every age from 16 to As gave like
results, and the conclusion that the bang
of brown-haired girl is the infalli-
BILE indicator of wet or dry weather
may be unhesitatingly accepted. The
| Professor also discovered that red-headed
girls show a peculiar susceptibility to
electricity. When q thunder storm is
brewing their bangs becomes stiff and
bristling, and in three instances, when the
Professor tried to smooth down bristling
bang, he received violent shock in the
region of the ear. He is not prepared to
say that the presence of an unusual
amount of electricity in the air can always
be detected by use of red-haired girls, but
he is strongly inclined to think that fur
ther investigation will prove that such is
the fact.
In view of this important discovery
Prof. MacgregOr recommends that brown
haired girls shall be substituted on board
all vessels, whether naval or mercantile.
for the present untrustworthy barometer.
He points out that, in the merchant SER
vice where stewardess is at present car
ried, she should be required to be a brown
haired woman with bang, and that any
neglect on her part to crimp her bang
every night while at sea should be pun
ished as misdemeanor In the navy
peculiarly sensitive brown-haired girls
should be employed, and the professor
suggests that they should be kept in glass
cases, open, of course, at the top, so that
they would run no risk of being injured
The first cost of a girl is, of course, rather
more than of barometer, and it is expen-
sive to keep her in order, but this is of nc
consequence compared with her value as
weather indicator. We can now under.
stand why nature created girls with bangs
and it is to be an end of foolish opposition
which so many thoughtless men have
made to the present style of banged hair