davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1881-06-02
A Peculiar AMictiOn.

Mr. Edwin Cowles, the editor of the
Cleveland Leader, has peculiar affiic
ton. -. From boyhood he has been
troubled with deafness somewhat of the
nature of color blindness He has never
heard the sound of the birds, and until he
grew to manhood he had always thought
the music of birds was poetic fiction.
''You may fill the room with canary
birds" says Mr.. Cowles, 'fand they may
all sing at once and l never would hear
a note, but would hear the fiutterings
of their wings. never heard the hiss
ing sound of the human voice, conse-
quently, not knowing the existence of
that sound, I grew up to manhood with
out ever. making it in speech. A por-
ton of the consonants / never hear, yet
can hear all the vowels. About quar-
ter of the sounds in the human voice I
never hear, and I have to watch the
motion of the lips and be governed by
the sense of the remarks in order to un-
derstand is said to me. IT have
walked by the side of policeman going
home at night, and seen him blow his
whistle, and I never would hear it, al
though it could be heard by others half
mile away. I never heard the upper
notes Of piano, violin, or other musical
INSTRUMENT, although I@world hearsaA
the lower notes" Mr.. Cowles has con-
suited some of the most eminent sur
geons, physicians, and aurists in the coun-
try, and they are unanimous in declaring
his peculiar affiiction to be without a
| precedent. - q AZ p e = EEEa
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1881-06-02
AQueer Society.

Saws New York correspondent:
ssTwelve members of the York Masonic
Lodge of this city organized last year Q
society which they styled The Mortal
Twelve of York Its members are:
Frank j. Griffith, Assistant Superintend-
ent of the Delaware Lackawanna and
Western Railroad; William Scott,
Freight Agent of the New York and
New Haven Steamboat Company; Col.
j. B. Montgomery, Thomas Keating,
Harry Gurley, Edward Ganong, Robert
Wharton, Lewis w. Walton, Edwin A.
Quick, j. J. Shay, J. Hunt, and Fred
Kline. The initiatory fee is $5, and the
annual dues are 81. No other members
can be admitted, and no person not "a
member can attend any of the meetings.
'HThere is to be regular meeting OF
the society every year on the evening
of the second "Wednesday of October, at
which dinner is to be served. On the
death of any member, according to the
| bylaws, special meeting must be
called, and the sole object shall be to
discuss the virtues of the deceased
member, be they many or few. Should
they be few. then each virtue Is to be
discussed so much the more thoroughly,
for his shortcomings are not to be mem
toned. A rosewood case, divided into
twelve compartments, with q cut glass
bottle in each compartment, containing
a quart of sherry. and on the outside the
owners name, has been deposited in the
vault of safe deposit company, to be
! taken out only when some member of
the society dies. On that occasion the
case is to be opened in the meeting, and
| IL. fl,o a
of the departed member is to be drank
| by the others in silence. Then 1.-The
| bottle is to be returned to the case, to.
gether with the date of the owner S
I death and other information concerning
him.
'sOn each succeeding similar occasion
all of the bottles, the full and the empty.
are to be set before the surviving mem.
bers, and the contents of the one bear
ing the name of the member last de-
ceased drunk in silence. It Is provided
in the bylaws that the last surviving
member, on the death Of his solitary as
sociate, should discuss by himself tht
virtues of the departed man, and drinl
of the wine in the bottle bearing hi
name, and he shall thereafter each sue
ceeding year, on the date set apart TO
the annual meeting, have the box ant
contents placed before him, and thel
and there shall partake of the remaining
bottle or bottles as far as his judgmen
allows or. dictates, until the same shall
if possible, be disposed of.
''The twelfth man is enjoined, befor
his death, to bequeathe the case, its con
tents, copy of the society's bylaws
and a synopsis of its history, to his heir
or any other person as he may feel dis
posed, enjoining him to guard an
hand down the same to succeeding gen
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1881-06-02
HUMORS OF THE DAY.

"a BIRD in the hand is wort" 50. so
if it happens to be canary eFs-Lfs-
WHEN pretty Irish girl is stolen
away they suspect some Boycotter.
A WASHINGTON paper has q column
headed Religious Refrains." A great
many people in Washington refrain from
religion.
A MISSISSIPPI man puts itthus: Sat the
earnest solicitation of those to whom
1 owe money I have consented to become
a candidate for County Treasurer.
The inhabitants of the Cannibal Is
lands have discovered trichina in an
American missionary. This is q sad
blow at one of the country's leading ex-
ports.
A MONITOR Indian, who was recently
convicted of murder, expressed his opin-
ion of the lawyer who defended him with
delicious frankness: Lawyer too much
talkl Heap foolT /EHH Il
"MY DEAR" said an anxious matron
to her daughter, ''it is very wrong for
young people to be throwing kisses at
each other" "Why SO, mamma? I'm
sure they don't hurt even if they do
hit" a-f7 7GH-E ~
AT AN 'fmpassionist" painters: ''What
sort of subject are you going to paint
on that immense black canvasY 4 9How,
sir? That, sir, is my greatest master
piece" 'Is it? What is it?" GA pic
ture of nothing in space. London
Punch. al45
A DoUBTING mother placed some nitro
glycerine in her daughters corset on the
evening her fellow was coming. The
girl loaned them to the cook, and they
had to scrape the old man off the ceiling
to get enough of him to hold a decent
funeral over. a7s
"A MINISTER, while marrying couple
;ecently, was rather disconnected on ask
ing the bridegroom if he was willing to
take the young lady for his welded wife,
by scratching his head and saying: 'fYes,
I'm willing; but I'd much rather have
her sister. ."-PrOuidence Star.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1881-06-02
whales. -
birthday Of whales is celebrat

~ The birthday Of whales is celebrated
occasionally in the public schools like
that of the poets. The following is q
little girls composition prepared lately
for that occasion: t-'ssiA Mta
"Whales is big fish. Whales live a
long time and don't die when they get
old. We had a railroad whale here a
little time ago, just for show. Whales
don't always travel that way. They
mostly go by water SO they can sea more.
Most people like to go by rail deadhead,
but whales amt like most people.
ga good while ago people used to
make light of whales, hat they dom t
some now 'tain't quick enough. The
lamps won't blow up. rTE-g-.E
"We wouldn't have no newspapers If
it wasn't for coal oil, and railroads, and
pistols and SO forth cause there would
MT be no news.
"Whales is like shoes-right and left.
Our railroad whale was right whale.
Sometimes whale gets left when the
tide goes out-kind of united. Maybe
there is other kind of whales. Some of
the boys catch 'em in school, but don't
like that kind, they amt interestin' to
girls" .- -r .-T' UErv-
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1881-06-02

WITH an average price per annum of
$133, and an aggregate daily circula-
ton of 1851, 1877, the people of the
United States appear to pay out annually
the sum of $26, $50, 100 II for their daily
newspapers. These totals are subject to
certain obvious qualifications. Every
newspaper has q free list, more or less
large, the chief item of which is in its
exchanges. Allowance must also be
made for small percentage of papers
printed regularly, but not sold or circu-
lated and including tear and waste. On
the other hand, and especially in the
large cities, a considerable per cent. of
the total circulation is disposed of by the
single copy at the retail price. While
the average cost to the annual subscriber
LIS 2s cents per copy, the average retail
price per copy for the country is nearly
A cents, the largest average for q State
being Nevada, where it is twelve cents,
and the lowest in Delaware, where it is
i cents per copy. 1t is probable that
the added cost of the papers sold at
retail is quite sufficient to offset the de-
ductions which are to be made in the
total cost given on account of the cause
enumerated. In the census year the
number Of daily papers throughout the
United States was 962-morning, 436;
evening, ..526. Of this number New
York has lis, Pennsylvania SO, Illinois
73, California "a, Missouri AZ, Indiana
40, Massachusetts 80, Texas 81 and yir-
ginia 81, and so on, down to 3 in West
Virginia. During the year LA were
established and Sc suspended. The ave-
rage circulation was 2, 800, and the aggre-
gate circulation 1854, 1877. In the same
year there were 682 weeklies and 1873
Sunday papers running. CO..
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1881-06-02
The Price Of Newspapers. :

Canadian newspaper publishers are
becoming alive to what is due to them
selves in return for their heavy, outlay.
By disregarding commercial considera-
tions, the Toronto Mail lost the whole
of its original capital lover 800, ,000)
and the Toronto Globe, although much
longer established and better patronized
as an advertising medium, was making
no suitable returns for the capital in
vested. The result has been an advance
of dollar year in the price Of both pa
pers. The Hamilton and London dailies
have followed suit. Even now they are
cheaper than papers of "a similar class
published in the United States, where
they charge $12 year. Our Canadian
city. papers should go further and raise
the price of their weeklies to something
Shove the bare cost of the paper on
which they are printed. No large week.
ly worth reading can be published for
less than two dollars year, and even at
that price it would not pay the proprie-
tor unless there be a large cash adver-
Using patronage. These so-called
''cheap" papers are dear in the long run,
for they must economize in some way,
and that can only be done by curtailing
matters which would otherwise be more
literally treated. iStrotford Beacon. =
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1881-06-02
THE MARKETS.

CINCINNATI -FLoUR Fancy, s. 4O@6 90;
spring family, 70 Sog6 w. rye aour, 70 uugo 70.
ter 81 IS; No amber, 81 u. CornaMo white,
5Sc No 2 yellow, 49c ear corn, 4995oc. Oats,
~ white ase, No. n mixed; A eaaSso ~ -. =
No spring: 2oc Hey Tigmothy, ZIG OQls se @.
Hemp,Rouzh kentuckyl 3io9gi ~; and oo1ple- Idle
%sn Fl L o g.
ers' selections, sc Oo96 80 PoULTRr Spring
cnlcrEens, 2. 81 ovz oe py
Sg6zc per 10 anve; rRoVIslonsIM mess roI
German millet; g rs per Sus6: common milIst.
u 4oSd oo and nunganan o. rno9lag, sna IN Mrae
oiaS Pri%e to choice Downing .na wilson 3 COOS
prime to choice ss 6o@s Sa Potatoes BqTssnas
atoes oe psI se al Is ooe GO soe beams
< on Dsr crate lTomatoes Rerm nda are 5Sc GsI IA
per uV pect Guc,,mbers' socs ner Do Greer neas
sfsssS i 8 p. BUSH ', 2 -. - ,s'- p'.'
and ooted at 1oiIc FIo,,nExtrs farn;,H Ar %a TsGa
4 Is; No.i, Is ooa5 Is. choice family, S. oog
6 So Wheat.fs steady with as fair demand and
quoted at 81 os. Corn-No. 2 white 411zc.: No. Z
mixed, 4712c; OatsIMo whlte Ae. NO, mixed
AZ s, ooc99 M - Me-. uur ahu so
az Hio vog11 ~ .1a P;d sk oV
Saix Sc; e.eaf I.1 s,oes SSoc
clear nfes bseon-ns dnii ana prices are lover ~
shoulder 6Acs; clear rib sides, sks.i clear, % sMs,
s4Sa HamsIS ISagaf-cnred hams, a ,lg lgH74e. g hisk!
are nignei, quoueu q. 81 10 ve Hs 81 moes
NEW Y0RK.-Cotton=--Mi uplands. 10}4c.
middiing orleans, llc., floUIsupernne W WesterI
and State, "a ooa4 IS; common to good extra West
ern and State "a s0@5 25; common to choice ohit
extra iamiiys ~ Oo96 .o; " WheaEgnsraded sprng
y ls5aYi ri 9ngraded ssa winter rec, A ieSd Sl
NO. 90, " Z7@l 2ls4; No; DO; u 3oglSl
mixed ao,, 81 -; ungraded, o. Is@i 20 Ti.- CoTn.
0neraneo' o4S9o.c.; NO oSSoS12e, NO whr,e n,xs
0,e .tsa sS 1'S SS nsw
PHILADELpH1A.-F Flour - Minnesota e.tr,
MinnssSss patent process, Sc 2sg7 Bye aoSr
oo. WheatSMo. winter req, ~ "a, sG,,ei IN ele
vatGI Ootn.Sai,,mi1ea es ana yem9y ovgoiS;
white, t sse'i IL No, mixed, olSol1 less pS5s ps,s
nS"ysd ia Ts A''A' As's
ienue, m.Im,,.G1r ~ .r- .. 80
BALIiMoRE;-Flour- estern nmuy, y zoG
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1881-06-02
How voltaire Cured the Decay or HIS
81 ia sGa Stomach. ais5ss@F vs.

How voltaire cured the Decay or HIS
-. .a'yfs soa Stomach. 4'>7isF ~sa
In the ssMemoirs of Count Segur"
there is the following anecdote: ''My
mother, the Countess de Segur, being
asked BY voltaire respecting her health,
told him that the most painful feeling
she had arose from the decay in her
stomach and the difficulty OF finding any
kind of aliment that it could bear. Vol
taire, by way Of consolation, assured her
that he was once for nearly D. year in
the same state, and believed to be in
curable, but that nevertheless a very
simple remedy had restored him. It
consisted in taking no other nourishment
than syolks of eggs heated up with the
-four of potatoes and water."n Though
! this circumstance concerned 50 sextraor-
dinary a person as VoItaire, it is aston
ishing how little it is known and how
rarely the remedy has been practiced. Its
efficacy, however, in cases of debility,
| can not be questioned, and the follow
ing is the mode of preparing this valu-
able article of food as recommended by
Sir John Sinclair: Beat, up an egg in a
| bowl and then add six tablespoonfuls OF
/ cold water. mixing the = whole well to-
| gether; then add two 'tablespoonfuls" Of
| farina of potatoes; let it be mixed thor.
oughly with the liquid in; the bowl.
Then pour in as much boiling water as
. will convert the whole into a jelly, and
mix it well. It may be taken alone Oh
with the addition Of a little milk in CASE
of stomachic debility or consumptivt
disorders. The dish is light and easily
digested, extremely wholesome an6
nourishing. Bread or biscuit may b
taken with lit AS the stomach get
/ strOnpar -. =. - L. - II
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1881-06-02
4 Study in Black and White.

kr. Morse was an artist. He painted
PICTURES on canvas. Sometimes he4drew
them with q lead pencil on blocks Of
wood. Then the engraver cut them out,
so that they can be printed in books.
One winter Mr.. Morse was sick. The
doctor told him he had better go to Flor
ida. He went, and stayed there till
spring. The weather there is like spring
all through the winter.
In March, which is cold sadswindy In
the North, the air is, sweet With the per-
fume of flowers. .GA
Oranges grow in Horde. They are
the sweetest in the world. In March all
the orange trees blossom. The leaves
on these trees are green all winter long.
Mr.. Morse was very fond OF fishing
and hunting. One day he went five
miles through the forests TO lake. From
the live oak trees the trailing moss hung
down like q lady's veil. As the winds
blew through the pines it made q soft,
sad music. .5..,
When he came to the lake he found q
tree which had blown down into the
water. 1t had been there for years. Its
leaves and branches were all gone. It
was nothing but long, straight stick.
The artist walked out on il and fished
all the forenoon. As he started to the
shore he saw q snake asleep ON the log.
The snakes bite would kill O man.
Mr.. Morse feared the snake would bite
him. He waited q long time, but the
snake did not move.
He stayed on the log three long hours
more. Then negro boy came along in
n boat. The boys name was Paul.
The artist told him about the snake.
The boy with one blow OF his tish-pole
killed him.
Here is O silver quarter for you,
Paul, said Mr.. Morse.
Paul never had so much money be-
fore. As he padded home be thought
what he should do with it. He made up
his mind 10 buy book. -, -.
He had lust learned to read O little.
He wanted to learn more. The book
was better than candy, better than play
things, better than watermelons. He
bought book before night ,--..
Paul's father lived IN q log cabin. He
could not read nor write. There was not
even Bible in the house. Paul read hi,
book by the blaze Of light wood. He
had TO spell out the words. But the
book was primer, and he could under
stand the stories in IL.
The next morning Mr.. Morse went by
the log cabin. He was going TO shooi
wild turkeys. In mont q the cabin -
Paul in chair t444a bn book. a
was as happy - &t Sb&uId be. ii
sketch-booK. Hs ms1s picture . ,
Paul reading his book. He put in th,
log-cabin, and the flowers Paul's mother
had planted.
Mr.. Morse called his picture "a study
Of black and white"
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1881-06-02
Secrecy.


You have trouble, your feelings are
INJURED, your husband is unkind, your
wife frets, your friends do not treat you
fairly, and things in general move un-
pleasantly. Well, what of it? Keep it
to yourself. A smouldering fire can be
found and extinguished but when Goals
are scattered, you can't pick them up.
Bury your sorrow. The place for sad and
disgusting things is under the ground
A cut finger is not benefited by pulling
off the plaster and exposing ittosome-
body's eye. Charity covereth a multi
tude Of sins. Things thus covered are
cured without a scar but, once pub
lished and confided to meddling friends,
there is no end to the trouble they may
cause. Keep it to yourself. Troubles
are transient and, when a sorrow is
healed and passed, what a,comfort il -
70 say, No one ever knew il tall il was
over " --.-y. d.. -.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1881-06-02

INDIGESTION, dyspepsia, nervous prostratlon,
and all forms Of general debility relieved by
taking MENsMAN's PEPToNIzED BEEF Tonic. the
only preparation of beef containing its entire
nutritious properties 1t contains blood-mak-
ing, force-generating and ife-sustaining prop
critics; is invaluable in all enfeebled conditions,
whether the result of exhaustion, nervous pros
tration, overwork, or acute disease, particularly
if resulting from pulmonary complaints, Cas-
swell, Hazard Co., proprietors, New York.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1881-06-02

THERE had been a family far 'Come,
mother, come" says the lson-in-law to
/. the old lady, in obedience to the pitiful
request of his wife not to be disagreea-
BE, "let us make up Isaid there was
no woman in the world as unbearable as
-you are, didn't I, at which You felt
hurt? Well, 1 take it back-there are
others"
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1881-06-02
Lady Beautifers.

= Ladies, you cannot make fair skin, rosy
cheeks and sparkling eyes with all the cosmetics
of France, or beautifers of the world, while in
poor health, and nothing will give you such
ters. A trial is certain proof. See another
column. -.--r.-.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1881-06-02
ODD SCRAPS.
CAsron on will soften leather.

g "a 80 : af
! CAsroR ON will soften leather. b sss+a-
To wHrrE.s ivory-bol in lime water.
KEROSENE will make the tin tea-kettle
as new. Saturate a woolen rag, and rub
with it. It will also remove stains from
clean vanished furniture.
To MAKE macaroni tender, put it in
cold water and bring it tosa boil 1t will
then be much more tender than if put
into hot water or steWed in milk 8 B&F
BLUE ointment and kerosene, mixed in
equal proportions, and applied to bed
steads, is an unfailing bug remedy; and a
coat of whitewash is ditto for wooden
walls. lSa 1S. 'si4-ssf-
. STEAK should be broiled without salt.
Salt draws the juices in cooking; it is
desirable to keep these if possible. Cook
over hot fire, turning frequently. Salt
and pepper to taste. f:gzig .ssl ALA s,sna-
Eloe You can get q bottle or q barrel of oil
off of any carpet or woo]en stuff by ap-
plying dry buckwheata plentifully and
faithfully. Never put water or liquid of
any kind to such grease spot. 5sssa ss,s. =
r H1ceoUaH effects some people very
persistently, and where a simpler remedy
does not check it, half teaspoonfuls of
nitre in half tumbler of water is recon-
mended as an instantaneous remedy. -
II you wish to do away with the use of
Rredse on the griddle for baking cakes,
have the ordinary iron griddle ground
smooth on gFindstone and rubbed off
with piece of fine sand paper wrapped
l round q block of WOOD This is much
better than q soapstone griddle. .-...
/ WHEN tuznips placed in the cellar be-
gin to sprout they are usually thrown
away, but bushel of turnips, will fur
nish family with salid all winter, and
q very good one if properly prepared.
Place the bushel of turnips in a dark,
warm cellar to- sprout, and when the
sprouts are three or four inches long cut
them of; pick the leaves from the stems
and pour on hot water moment; then
plunge them into cold water; place the
| sprouts in the colander to drain off all
The water, and send to table with a plain
dressing or bacon dressing poured over
them--Detroit Free Press.
The following gem OF truth is clippe
from the New Haven Register: "Doe
man ever go into grocery store an
say: I'll give you five cents pound fo
sugar. and expect to be treated with re
7 spect? Not at all. He asks the pric
Of sugar and pays what is asked or goe
without. But the same man will offer
price twenty per cent. below rates for
given space in the advertising column
of q newspaper and feels offended becaus
/ 1t Is not taken. 80 ssFs-s.sE aHt
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1881-06-02

They had ueen engaged for long
time, and one evening were reading the
paper together. "Look, love-" he ex-
claimed, 'only SIS for suit of clothes!"
.sIs it wedding suit?' she asked, look
ing naively at her lover. ooh, no." he
answered; cit is business suit. " ''Well.
1 meant business" she replied. .-Nes0
York Chm s,aercSaL,l3 A0 n0s7. 80 sa.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1881-06-02
Rubbing the Midnighf OIL.

In the Philadelphia Times of recent
date, we notice an item referring to the
miraculously quick cure of a prominent
druggist of that city, Mr.. J. M. Higgins,
Germantown Road and Morris street,
who had an awful attack of rheumatism
of the knee. He applied St.-Jacobs Oil
at night, land next morning was well and
in his store as usuM Troy (NS SY.)
Morning 1eiegrana and Wig. 49,
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1881-06-02

To MAKE new hair grow use CAnBoLlNE, a de-
odorized extract of petroleum. This natural
petroleum hair renewer, as recently improved,
is the only thing that will really produce new
hair. tits delightful dressing.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1881-06-02

SR HENRY BEssENGKR expects TO be
able with his new telescope 70 read Q
newspaper at the distance-of three aud Q
half miles,
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1881-06-02
now 10 sECURE HEALTH.

It is strange any will suffer from arrangements
brought on by impure blood, when SCovILL's sARSA-
PARILLA AND STILIINGIA, or BLOOD AND LIVER
SYRUP will restore health TO the physical organic ton
1t pleasantto take, and the BEST
BLOOD PURIFIER ever discovered curing scrofuia,
Syphilitic disorders Weakness of the Kidneys Eryspe-
las, Malaria Nervous disorders, Debility, Bilious COM
plants and Diseases of the Blood Liver Kidneys,
Stomach, Skin, etc.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1881-06-02

SMs VENICE q man has 70 get INTO
gondola to 90 and have n tooth pulled,
and pays twenty cents an hour for the
boat; but the gondolier is expected to
.htimp himself. :" -- r.. -
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1881-06-02
Married InfeIfcity.

1t is great pity that people who are
infelicitously married cannot worry along
as. best they may without making their
woes public. Most people who seek relief
in the divorce courts fail to find it. Instead
of gaining the peace and comfort which
they think is sure to follow on their legal
efforts for freedom, they succeed in
making themselves additionally unhappy
and intensely ridiculous. "Grin and
bear it" is, perhaps, hard rule to fol-
low.y But it is better to endure than to
court the absurd situations and the
ridiculous criticisms which must follow
on publishing matrimonial misery to a
scandal-loving public. - Philadelphia
Times. M =. - -. selsIA,