Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1881-01-01

| terms were LlOSS OF IrlCnuSQlp, unTSllCF6u Dl
sentiment, or any suspicion Of it.
On meeting Miss Mumford he was struck
by the difference between her and Other
women he had known. She was very inter
the fact that he could not added to her inter
est. She was very bright. also; and had 8
fund Of badinage and persjhage which he en-
joyed mentally His first two or three visits
passed in war of wits. He admired her clev'
erness, and remembered with computations
his absurd Judgment that she was shallow
They got in together famously. He called
three times in ten days, and she appeared tc
be glad to see him each time. He thought Of
their relation as Platonic friendship. Il
was precisely the kind of relation he had al
ways wanted with woman, and had never
found.
In another week he discovered his mis-
take. He felt that it was not her mind alone
that drew hin. She was very magnetic tc
him; her presence was at once a rest ard a
disturbance he was rapidly falling, if be
mad not already fallen in love with her. The
end of June had come. Miss Aiumfcrd had
intended to 20 to Newport by the 20th Of
that month; but she had deferred her de-
parture BY this time Bargate had ceased to
have any doubt of the condition OF his affec.
tions. lie admitted to himself that he was
desperately in love with Helen, as he de-
lighted to call her in his own mind. He
could not help believing that she was very
fond of him. He knew that he wanted to
marry her; but he could not think that she
would be willing to marry him. Why should
she? She was rich in her own right, and he
was a bankers clerk, without prospects of be-
ig~ anything else His theory as unfolded
to Hudson, required to him. How mean and
contemplate it seemed The thought of it
haunted and mortified him. 4 man, he said
TO himself, can DO many things in the alb
stract, which in the concrete are wholly re-
pulsive.
He would be delighted to have her; but he
would not accept the fortune. If she was
only poor he would propose to her imme-
diately. Her wealth was an insnrmountable
barrier between them. He had found that
he felt precisely as he had feigned. He
could not, by any possibility, do what he
had advised to be done. He determined to
stay away; he knew that the time for hen
leaving town had already passed After she
! had gone he would forget her, or try to and
when she would return they would be as
strangers He formed a hundred plans, and
abandoned them almost as soon as formed.
He did not succeed in staying away from
| Mr. Mumford's house. Nearly everybody in
her set had left the city Mrs. Munlford and
son had taken possession of their cottage ;
but Helen remained. She was coming on, she
said, when her father, detained by business
was ready to start.
Finally Bafgate resolved once more that
he would not call on Helen again. He had
learned that she would go to Newport the
105h Of July with her father, and that she
would not return until the close Of October.
q" 1 ought to be able to forget her in three
months, he reflected to himself, unless am
an irredeemable ass" What encouragement
had he received? he asked his own mind
She always seemed glad to see him; she
listened attentively to whatever he said; she
was sympathetic and stu5iously polite. But
that was all. He was conscious of half
belief that she regarded him as something
more than a friend But was not this sheer
vanity? Had he any tangible reasons for
this semi COZ fdence. And then he settled
down upon the conviction that he aeas an
irredeemable ass.
He allowed the days to creep by without
seeing her Perhaps she would write when
she had left town. How much hope he built
upon this possibility If she should write it
would be a proof Of her more than common
interest in him The 10Th had gone SO had
the llth, 18th, 18Th, 14th aud 18th. For a
fortnight he had not been in or near
Fnty.ninth street, where she lived. On
the evening Of the 10Th ne passed the spa
cious, handsome house. How his heart
throbbed as he went by The house was
dark as a tomb. and as silent. He passed
repeatedly, and after 8 O'Clock two of the
female servants came out of the basement tc
meet some swains and to talk soft nonsense
and hold hands on The stoop.
"What idiots!" he thought. "But
wherein, he thought again, are they les.
idioto than L They are ignorant, un
trained, mental foreigners; and Yes
there Is no doubt Of i'll an an irredeem
able ass.
Evening after evening he walked throust
Fifty.niuth street, He nigh5 have been mis-
taken for a police nan, if he had not been st
regularly at his post lie labcrd hard to Per
suade Himself chat he was philosophic, if no
contented. But his mirror and bis fellow
clerks told him he was pale and, weighing
one day, he found that he had lost five pounds
in three weeks. He was as bad, he solilo
onized, as hero Of romance. TO be such
spoon at thirty six was positively ridiculous
II he had been twenty-five or three ther,
might have been some excuse. Every tim,
the letters were brought into the Office he raj
them over, eager to find an address in en- uu
known hand, which he dared to hope woulc
be hers. What good would it do him Sup
pose she should write him, and tsI him ever
that she was longing for lis presence, wha
would be gain He would not and could no
marry her while she was rich and he poor
and he could not expect her to surrender he
wealth TO crafty his egotism for, he Sc
cretly admitted, egotism alone would max
such demand.
August LIST had arrived-the time for hi
vacation. He could not endure the strain
f upon his nerves, the tension of his mind
He must do something. he resolved to g
to Newport, and tell Helen that he lovei
? her. and then come away. 1t would be re
lief to his overloaded heart, II he coul'
make his passionate confession to her VIII
alone should hear it, he could go back to hi
, duties. and crush down the past. She coul
| never be anything to him, save memory
but what blessed memory!
"