St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1881-12-23
SQuibS.

The great Junius said he never knew
rogue who was not unhappy. OF
course not. 1t is the rOgues who are
not known who are the happy ones.
This is Picture of Freddy's Rab-
bits. But it is the picture of a fox.
The Fox is very Fat. Where are Fred
dy's Rabbits Freddy's Rabbits are in
the Fox.
A Brooklyn man, who had one of his
auriculars chewed off during little
unpleasantness i'll bar-rOOm, on cleo
ton night, came home and told his
wife that this was an "Off ear in poll
tics" for him.
"Yes," said Clara, "'your Maltese
kitty is pretty enough, but he can
never come up to my bird" That was
all she knew about it. The kitty did
come up to her bird that very day, and
it was all day with the bird.
Is this not a Mule ? Tickle his Heel
and See. Yes, it is a Mule. You had
better Send for Doctor and Minis
ter. If it had been Piano, instead of
a Mule, you would not Have to wear
yourself in Sling for the next Six
Months. Do you wish it had Been
Piano?
A railroad man met with a painful
accident the other evening. He had
just emptied one schooner of beer and
was in the act of reaching for another,
when his wife appeared unexpectedly
upon the scene. He was caught be
tween the bumpers, with the usual re-
suit.
Civilization already begins to ener-
vate the people of the far West. Last
month piano made its appearance in
Hard Scrabble, while the landlord of
the "Fighting Bears" who nobly re
sisted the innovation of table cloths,
has been compelled to strike his colors
to Yankee" who advertises "clean
plates at every meal"
Several scientists are predicting that
the earth is drying up. Those West
ern people who have been catching
bull-heads in their parlOrs and going
boating in the streets must think it is
about time for these scientists to dry
up. When man sees his house and
barn being washed away by the floods,
it is pretty hard to convince him that
the earth is drying up.
| A ninety y-seven-pOund Bridgeport
girl has beau that tips the beam at
| 2l0. She keeps him III attendance
every night up to II o'clock, seated
comfortably in an armchair. She eX
planned to companion, under the seal
of secrecy, that beneath the cushion
she kept her Autumn leaves, in book,
and as soon as they were sufficiently
pressed she would give him the mitten.
| Ono of the most learned and diOni-
fled members of the Austin bar got a
terrible rebuff from old Uncle Nose last
week. The old man had Jim Webster
hauled up before Justice Gregg for
stealing his Spanish chickens. As Jim
Webster has political influence, he was
defended by two prominent lawyers.
Uncle Nose was put on the stand and
made out bad case against Jim Web
ster, testifying to having found some
of the chickens in Jim's possession, and
identifying them by the peculiarities
of the breed. One prominent lawyer
then undertook to make Uncle Nose
weaken on the cross-examinatiOn
.'Now, Uncle MOse," said the lawyer,
"suppose was to tell you that have
at home in my yard half dozen chick
ems of that identical same breed ?"
'fWhat would / say, boss 7" eyes,
what would you say ifI was to tell you
I've got that same kind of chickens in
my yard 2" "I would say, boss, dat
Jim Webster paid up yer fee wild my
chickens" and a pensive smile crept
around under the old mans ears and
met at the back of his head Austin
(Tex.) Siftings.