The weekly miner. [volume] (Butte, Mont.) 1878-1881, 1881-01-18
Mrs. Spoopendyke's Perplexity Concern
lug the MOrey Letter.

SBuG / cant ullueTSLdilu, Sdlu MID. SPoo-
pendyKe, argumentively, after her husband
had carefully explained to her about the
Chinese letter-"what l don't understand is,
if Mr.. Garfield says he did not send that let
ter, how did Mr.. Morey get it :"
s.He didn't get it, they say retorted Mr..
SpoopendyKe. g"They claim that Mercy
never saw nor heard of it. DON'T you see?'
'sPerfectly. But who got it? If it was
mailed to Mr.. Morey how could anybody
else get it !? If Mr.. Garfield should write a
letter to me, how would a newspaper get
hold of it p
swell, if he never does they'll know it.
Can't We understand anything at all, scarcely?
The democrats say that Mr.. Garfield wrote
the letter, and the Republic. rs say that he
didn't"
sWhat do the greenbacker's say? That
would be important"
sDad CAST the greenbackers J" retorted Mr..
Spoopendyke. "What.have they got to do
with it The question is, whether Mr.. Gar
field wrote it,
II don't see if he did not, why Mercy got
it. Now, if Mr.. Morey had not got it, there
might have been some question but"
.Nhat's the matter with you ?" demanded
Mr.. Spoopendyke. What are you thinking
with, your elbows? If Mr.. Garfield didn't
send it, how could Morey get it S'pose he
WChUI Ill hiiu GUS ~ n oi ~
"That is the point conceded Mrs. Spoo-
pendyke. 'But if Mr.. Morey did get it, who
sent 1t? He must have got it, because
it was directed TO him."
ssThat settles it, groaned Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke. ''Nobody thought OF that before.
You've got the whole postal system III "a tea
spoon. If somebody would fit you up with
pigeon holes and an iron safe, you would
only need to be assessed ten per cent. by a
campaign commute to be a pos office. Ii
Mr.. Garfield never sent the le,ter, of course
Mr.. Morey never got it. Amt that plain 1t
he did not get it, then the chances are that
Mr.. Garfield wrote it. Can We see that ,"
just what | said. Now, if Mr..
sMofey aSdn't get it, how did the newspapers
kgeAifbldOf it ? Did Mr.. Garfield send it to
s~fheInewspapers >"
HQhsl aianl ha?' howled Mr.. Spoopendyke.
sffe fo9k itarouud himself and sprained his
.leg III doing il. Oh You've struck it. With
septc iafl saaysics you only want a red and
,glH To b. a drug store. The republi-
eiaHsssaythaL Garfield did not write it, and
&ffttfsS@ ne Yer got or saw it. Can you get
fhatt thssg ghFyeur head Is there room in
RsssarsAsph, foltnat idea
Ifantyss .~,eioined Mrs. Spoopendyk Ike
ut saeHtt he democrats say that Mr.. Gar,
hEaa ,3a awgit6 it and Mr.. Morey did get it:
tPh&s anaa X now as much about it as the re,
pubic .As,s aud sthey have got the letter te
prove f. Hf TREY did not have the letter tt
pl5fgas Ii. il Hhuld be different and it shows
that iE went 10 Mr.. Morey. Now, the only
fsthipg { pihether Mr.. Morey was a democra
al d rsiplblicans If he was
sAFe yg4n iAipl?: Have you got to 60 tt
night seh00i.to8 be- a tool? Don't you kno"
that Mpr4gis dead? He amt a republican o
denlbsrat either; he's an angel, if he's ha'
r. 1LZ.l.E.I 4 Re tI.. l,tt,,, u,,,, Iiu Y,n ,,n
and his.wIfe gave it out for publications.
ssFhat ends it, said Mrs. Spoopendyk Ike
eff his wife got 1t out | know he never got il
That is Just the way with some women. A
ways getting their poor dead husbands int
trouble. She ought to be ashamed. And S
Mr.. Garfield amt to be president?
ado you know what you want? You wan
a high chimney and a gravel walk to be
lunatic asylum. Who says he won't be pres
ident? Why can't he be PRESIDENT"
"If he did not write the letter, how ca
he?" argued Mrs. Spoopendyke.
b "What do you suppose the letter was,
meas,y flower pot? Think it was a sh'
tower?: What dye s'pose it was, anyway:
"Nhy, his letter of acceptance, wasn't i
Wasn't it something about his nomination:
mo, it wasn't it, sueered Mr.. SpoopeE
dyke. at was a confession that he was o
man Bender. That's what it was. 1t la
the blame Of knocking Nathan's brains o
with Charley Ross on George Washington
that's What it was. Got it ow? Think "
can talk about it like a human being anoth
time?:" and Mr.. Spoopendyke shot out of t
house.
swell, WE'LL" said Mrs. Spoopendyka,
she held the bed-spread up and figured c
whether she would turn it oyer or have
washed. s.I'm glad I'm beginning to und
stand politics. But if Mr.. Garfield did
write that letter and Mrs. Morey was alive,
would 90 hard with Mr.. Morey for giving
out. A woman can't be too careful abs
what she does in politics." And having
cided to turn the spread, Mrs. Speopendy
tied a towel around her head and hav
busted her husbands private papers,
them away where no human being could
n er find them.-BroOklm Edyte.a 80
If Too Much Cigarette.