Middletown transcript., 1881-03-18
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FRIDAY AFrERNooN, MARCH l8, 1881
CHIPS.

Western people never experience any
real hardship from the cold until it
freezes their whiskey. .- SomerUiIle Jour-
nal.
''Render unto Caesar the things that
are Casar's,' . and if little girl Caesar
sister have nicer playthings than she
herself has, she should not Caesars. Are
you a siezer of the idea ?-Cdmbridge
Journal.
Those people who are always borrow
ing tea, sugar and other like commOdi-
ties, hardly ever borrow any trouble.
And who shall say they are not philoso-
phers-and nuisances.--Rome Senti-
mel.
Some publishers are altogether too
liberal. They will permit-or rather
encourage-an editor do publish ten
dollar notice in exchange for fifty-cent
book, without requesting the editor to
hand over two dollars to boot Norris
to,Cn Herald
A famous New York physician OBJ
serves: ''You can double Your circu-
lation by washing the feet with cold
water before going to bed at night and
after getting up IN the morning" This
is a highly important discovery for
newspaper proprietors. Sua.
"I'm sitting on the STYLE, Mary" he
warbled, as he mconsciously planked
himself on her new white bonnet. 80,
whisper what thou feelest," +" she muir
INJURED, as she promptly introduced an
inch and a half of shawl pin through
his epidermis. -Eleuated Railray Jour
nal.
Edith O'Gorman, the escaped nun, ,
says that girl shouldn't kiss man
unless she is engaged to him, and then
not oftener than once month. Ifthat
is the heresy that is taught in these
converts, we don't blame Edith for es-
Gaping. Such doctrine as that
would break a girl all up.-Peck'S Sun.
She laid her cheek on the easy chair
back against his head and mUrmured,
"How l do love to rest thus against
your dear head, Augustus p ''Do
you ~ said he; lis it because you love
me, darling 20 "No-because it is so
nice and soft p Then he lay and
thought, and thought, and thought
Ed L. Adams.
A woman may be as homely as q
drove of camels, and as uninteresting
as a counterfeit detector, but as sooI
as her husband is elected to Congress
and they take up their residence il
Washington and give receptions, shr
becomes "handsome and fascinating''-
in the newspapers. There are no blanks
-NorriStolUn Herald.
Egyptian mummies have of late year
been dragged from their recesses
ground into powder, and used as ferti
Iizers. To what base use may we com
at last 1t may be that Pharoah'
mother-in-law has been used to encour
age the growth of a mammoth pumpkin
In the words of the poet, what i
home without a mummy. . Norristocl
Herald.
AS the blamy days of spring approach
we can think of but one wish that lie
next our heart. 1t is that the itineran
musician, whose daily toll is to twis
the crank of the hand organ, will havr
been found frozen beyond thawing
that the sky may not be called upon t,
echo from it's grand arch the familia
"Spring, Sprang, Gentle Sprung. -
Ne,0 Haren Register.
Ashmead looked cross at the baro
ness, yesterday morning just afte
breakfast, or she imagined it, and sh,
burst into tears, and said he didn't Low,
her, and she "would just go away ant
drown myself, or do something horrld,
she would and it was only after Ash
mead had told her that she was I'm,
own precious tootsey-wootsey" that sh'
consented to be happy. Y. Com
mercial
a Hartford man sent a pair o.
trousers to his tailor to be repaired
The tailor found $500 in roll in hi.
pocket and returned it, receiving tht
thanks Of the owner thereof. When
we send pair of trousers to our tailor
to be reconstructed, and he finds three
hundred dollars in the pocket and re-
turns it, We always tell him to keep tht
trousers for his honesty, which is the
best policy. NorristoWn Herdld.
The latest man who has been made
happy through the use of this valuable