davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1881-03-31
Too Many Soldiers.

The German press is much engaged
in reviewing the progress made by the
Fatherland since the establishment
OF the Empire ten years ago on the
18th of january, 1871, i'll the Hall of
Louis XIV. ut Versailles. 4 great
deal is naturally made of the freedom
from disaffection-with the insignifi-
cant exception Of Il few followers Of
the dethrOned llanoverian dynasty
which Germany has enjoyed during
this decennial period in spite Of the
policy of annexation which she was
compelled to adopt. Il most signiti.
cant criticism is made by the Cologne
Gazcttc, which takes al altogether
new departure, and bemoans in bitter
terms the pressure OF taxation, which
is directly traced to the vast cxpendi-
ture OH the army. While allowing
that a Kingdom which was 8 founded
by the sword must be protected by
tho sword,' expression is given to the
hope that before long Germany will
be able to reduce her ornaments. It
is pointed out that the new Russian
Finance Minister has announced the
necessity of diminishing expenditure
Oh the army. IF France" adds the
writer, would adopt Il similar view,
and would give up thoughts of war
Of retaliation whic], can only lead to
endless contests, we should have
brighter prospects, Tlisis 81. tisfac.
tory language from al organ which is
usually supposed TO be in sympathy
with Prince Bismarck. The pressure
of taxtion is becoming rapidly unen-
durable. as is also the long period Of
service exacted from the whole male
population.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1881-03-31
Our Grah-Ba9.

To remove superfiuous hair-Send
your well filled mattress to be done
over by cheap upholsterer.
WHEN you say that girls hair is
as black as coal, it's just as we'll to
specify that you do not mean red
hot coal.
'.1F punish you," said mamma
to her little girl, "you don't suppose I
do so for my pleasure, do you p 'Then
whose pleasure is it for, dear mani
ma e.
A MEDICAL writer asks ''Does posi-
ton affect sleep!' Well, yes, Doc,
it does. If you are hung up by the
basement of your trousers OH the fence,
! and the bull dog swapping at You, your
sleep will be somewhat restless.
"MY son is troubled with weak
ness in one of his legs; what shall I
do for 1T inquiries al anxious parent.
If he is away from home evenings,
perhaps the surest way would be to see
the girl and ask her to sit on the other
knee once in while.
The Springfield Qll.) Republican, has
a leading editorial on :Woman's
Triumphs," and although the article
does not admit it, it is certain that
another man has been held up for Il
new thirty six inch sealskin sacque.
AN exchange says that ''Venus. the
evening star, is HOW in the ascendant
and is moving eastward" Not 50 on
earth: Here the girls father is al
ways in the ascendant, and the young
man is perpetua]ly moving gatewart.
OVER the chimney the night wind sang,
And the chanted melody no one knew;
And the woman stopped rs her babe she tossed,
And thought Of the one she had long since
lost,
And said, as her teardrops back she forced,
&C. hate the wind in the chimney"
Over the music rack Julia sang,
But what she was singing no one knew;
And the milkman sighed as his horse he
bossed,
And thought of the mule he had long since
And said, as his bell he lightly touched,
Its the same cracked voice, by jimminy!"
DID you ever notice how exactly q
man will draw the line between Ills
sidewalk and that Of his neighbor
when he is shoveling snow ?--Er-
change, We can't say that we have,
but the man whose sidewalk ends
where ours begins swears he has.
"A GALVESTON darky rushed into 4
doctors office, and breathlesly ex-
claimed: ':Come on, doctor, right off.
Oar is somebody in my house who is
in AL awful fx--]aid in bed a-groan,
in and a.groanin'.'' "Who is it -
It's me. Yer see, boss. didn't hab
nobody to send, 50 l come myself -
YOU did wrong to shoot that
mans dog. You might have pushed
him OIL with the butt of your gun. -
said the Galveston Recorder to II man
who was charged with shooting a
neighbours dog. Il would have done
that, replied the prisoner, IF the
dog had come at ne tail first, but he
came ut me with his biting end"
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1881-03-31
Pensions.

"A W tSiltngtOn correspondent writes
as follows, as regards the suggestions
madeh y the Commissioners Of Pensions:
''Thc delays and injustice To claim
ants and the frauds upon the Govern.
ment arc mainly due to the secret ex-
larte methods of preparing evidence
and to Insufficient clerical force i'll the
rehSiol-Qflice. A different system.
under which testimony can he taken
~ public, is recommended. US we'll as
I'LL addition to the clerical force. These
additions should be Of men educated
in the law and capable of exercising
judicial discretion. Promptness in the
settlement Of claims would lie greatly
promoted llv such IL system. TO ad.
cuuately increase the force, however.
SO that the work could he done to i'd
vantage. it would he necessary to de.
vide the business Of the Office. This
has been imprActic;lblc 50 far, as the
records have not been capable of li-
vision. Lately new records fer Il COLI
siderable portion of the work have
been finished. and partial division
would now he practicable. II Con-
grcss shall decide to increase the force
there should be all Immediate addition
Of 100 examiners, with a correspond
ing number of copyists on July i, and
in addition corresponding number of
clerks should be given to the Surgeon
General and Acknowledgement. The
force Of special agents should bc in.
creased 50 that they could make
special Investigations OH the spot, and
AN alDrODriatiOn Of $3.50 ONO is roco,,
mended for that purpose, and it is also
suggested that the law be amended SO
that the special agents would have
authority to investigate suspected
pen sion claims
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1881-03-31
(Pittsb,Irg Commercial Gazette.

The Rt. Rev. Bishop Gilmour. Cleve.
land, Ohio; -Chas. 5. Strickland, ESD,
8 Boylston street. Boston. Mass. -
Capt. Paul Boyton. the World Re.
nowned Swimmer Prof. T.. q,
Duplessis, Manager Chicago Gymna.
SUM, Chicago, lll.;--Wm. II. Warcing
Esq, Asst. General superintendent
New York Post Office ;--Hon. Thomas
J.. James, Postmaster, New York -
Stacy Hill, Esq, Mt. Auburn Inclined
Plane Railroad, Cincinnati. Ohio. are
among the myriads who have expc.
rienced the beneficial effects of that
most remarkable remedy, St. Jacobs
Oil, who have testified to it's efficacy
in unqualified terms.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1881-03-31

from the union and form q gOvernment
of its own, he lays the responsibility
for all the blood shed upon the north.
He speaks at length of the journey of
the peace commissioners who were
sent by the confederate government
from Montgomery, then its capital, to
Washington, to negotiate for peace.
full adjustment of the question at issue.
He severely criticises the conduct of
Secretary Seward and his colleagues
during these deliberations, and asserts
that the overtures of the south were
not met in 4 frank and candid spirit.
He will give, it is said, a very full
discussion Of the peace movements in
the last year of the war, and will
present All elaborate defense Of the
policy of his administration us opposed
to the Stephens, Brown, and TOombs
policy. All the history yet written
has tended to fix the responsibility
upon Mr.. Davis of prolonging a hope.
less struggle, long after he himself
was convinced that success was i'm
possible. The country, both north and
south, will await with interest his ex-
PLANTATION of the reasons for protract-
ing the struggle for lost cause, and
sacrificing hundred thousand lives.
when, us has been shown. honorable
terms of peace and reunion were await
ing his acceptance. In the concluding
chapters Of his work will be presented
the defense Of his special policy.
There he will attempt his vindication
against the aspcrsions and the deter
mined opposition OF more than half
the statesmen who were lessued with
him. In writing these chapters he
has had the great advantage of having
before him the special pleas Of most
of his antagonists. The enmities bred
in the confederate administration
were 80 bitter that the book will neces-
sarily stir many an ugly feud and pro.
woke many a controversy in southern
political circles.
A writer who recently talked with
him apOut the fear expressed in the
south that he would let his intolerant
split get the better of him. and that
what should be an impartial history
would become vehicle of personal
opinions and preju.lices, reports Mr..
Davis as saying: ''They say when
people become old they become
spiteful, but 1 think l understand
and appreciate thoroughly the char
acter of my undertaking." An in
innate acquaintance of Mr.. Davis
says: "Ten years ago, Mr.. Davis
said to me that he intended to devote
the remaining years of his life to the
writing of defense Of the lost cause.
If God spares me- he said, shall
put in the hands of the children of our
dead justification of the cause for
which their fathers died. In this
fruition of Mr.. Davis last years of
labor he certainly maintains with I'LL.
shaken frmness all the points that
were put to the arbitrament Of the
sword. My work is done,' said he
last month. 8. and on that work [ am
willing that the cause and the author
may be judged.'
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1881-03-31
Predicting the Population.

by far the most accurate estimate
of future population ever made in this
country. or any other, was made by a
man named Watson iii 1915. As his
predictions were published that year
there can be no doubt Of the genuine.
ness of his "guesses. lie predicted
that the population in 1880 would be
ST, 100000. Of course he did not cal:
culate OIL the war, and hence he miss.
cd the mark some five millions. TO
show, however, that it was the wal
which put Watson off the track. it is
only necessary to compare the figures
OF those remarkable predictions with
the actual result. The prophecies
were made in 1915, and here is the
striking manner in which successive
censuses have shown their accuracy:
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1881-03-31
The Kfecf1 Of Mental Exhaustion.

Many diseases, especially those of the merry
GUS system, are the products Of daily renew
Ell mental exhaustion. Business avocations
often involve an amount of mental wear and
tear very prcjudicial 10 physical health, and
the professions, if arduous]y pursued, arc no
less destructive to brain and nerve tissue. 1t
is one Of the most important attributes OF
1iostcttcr's Stomach Biitcrs that it con,pcn
safes forthis undue loss of tissue, and that it
;mEarts New energy to the brain and nerves
The raridi,y with which it rcncws weakened
mental energy and physical vitality is re-.
narkahlc and shows that its inyigoratjng
properties arc nf the highest order Besides
increasing vital samim,, and co,,ntcracting the
ehsSts OF mental ">h ustion, this potential
rheumatism, chronic dyspepsia and consiipa
ton, kidney and uterine weakness and other
complaints. Physicians also commend it as
medicatcd stimu]lnt and remedy
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1881-03-31
JACK FROST. !.
HOWARD N. FULLER.

=
He brings flush to the palc-hued cheek
He brings glow to the languid eye;
He brings smile to the sober lips,
And SENDS, the life-blood bounding high.
He whispers to the studious boy
As duty's voice he bids be still
"Come, leave your lessons for while,
And 60 a. coasting on the hill.
Forsakc your indoor comforts all,
And healthy recreation seek,
And with your flying stccds of steel,
Go spinning DER the frozen creek"
He brings the slei gh- bells merry sound;
He brings the helrthstonc's ruddy cheer
He brings the Christmas holidays,
The happicst time Of all the year.
lie brings to all glad content;
He brings the wanderers to the fold,
He brings TO mind the shepherds song,
Sung on Judea's plain of old.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1881-03-31
\ Daring Feat.

Recently three men at Niagara
Falls performed Il feat well-nigh fool.
hardy and almost fatal in it's results
1t WAS no less than to place Il sign OH
all old log in the middle Of the river,
forty rods above Goat Island bridge.
The log lies in the centre of the rapids,
and has been there for the last four
years. During that time no one has
been within reaching distance of it. The
men conceived the brilliant idea of
placing large board sign on the log,
advertising the railroad in whose EN-.
ploy they are. About two o'clock
they set out on the ice. After much
effort they reached their destination.
Here a sign, four feet by twelve feet,
WAS securely spiked to the log. advis-
ing readers to "Go East vi;--Iail.
way" While the men were busily
engaged in there peri]ous task. crowds
Of people began to gather on ;,ll invail-
able points to watch their progress.
Many speculations were INDUCED III
as to whether the men would be able
to get back by the dangerous route
already traversed. After two hours
of labor. when the work was com
plcted. shouts from the spectators
announced that something was wrong.
Il glance showed that the ice was
breaking up in all directions. In doing.
their work the men had moved the
log. and, an opening being made, tho
rapid current soon finished the Job.
Though taken by surprise, the three
adventurers did not lose their presence
Of mind. Hastily picking up some
loose boards which they had cut from
the sign they started on the floating
ice for the shore. Dy skiI|ful use Of
tho boards us paddles and Il hard strug-
gle they reached the shore in safety.
'Ihey were the subject of hearty
congratulations.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1881-03-31
Not Married.

The street-car was crowded, and the
driver was just about to start, when Gill
hooly remarked to a friend, "Jones is
not married yet, is he p "Of course
not" II thought he was not married
yet, for I saw him carrying home a
broom yesterday" A red-faced woman
snapped her eyes at Gilhooly, and
pushed cadaverous, mid-looking man
ahead Of her as she got out of the car.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1881-03-31
DiD1,tl1eria Cure.

In all cases when used DR., T., B. Hu,lidav',
Blood Purifier has proved a certain specific 70
That dread disease, diphtl,eria. 1t must b,
taken at once, and in double doses, gargline
cure but a preventative rs well, So ret boz.
tie Of it at once, Use ii, and it will do You good
rs it is the most wonderful blood medicine nov
in existence. Crosman Il Plum,ner, CITY Hall
drug store, Minneapolis. For sale by all West
crn druggists Noycs Bros. e. Cutler, drug.
gists, wholesale agents, St. Paul, MINI.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1881-03-31

Here we find that in 1915, Mr.. Wat.
son predicted within about SOC, 1000 of
what the population Of the United
States would be i'll 1860, or forty five
years after tho recording of his
prophecy! AS Gen. Walker says, i'll
speaking Of this matter, it almost
staggers credulity. "'That a man a
mere human being" says Gen, Walk
er, "should be able to predict fifty
years III advance the number of inhabi.
tants in a rapidly growing country
within a traction OF per cent. seems
wonderful almost beyond belief
Had the war not INTERVIEWED, it is be.
lieved that Watson's predictions
would have held good in 1870 and 1880.
But in 1870 he was ahead of the cen.
sus nearly 1900, 900, and in 1880 nearly
100000. The losses of the war, direct
and contingent, we can never know,
but Watson's figures. almost absolute.
ly accurate up to the war period.
would show it to affect us the present
year to the extent of nearly 100000.
That is, had there been no war, the
present population of the United States
would be about 55,OOO,0OO, Watson
predicted that the population in 1900
would reach 100,0OO,00O, but Gen.
Walker does not believe it will be
over about 80,000,OO0.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1881-03-31

The glass manufacturing interest O.
Ohio forms in itself no inconsiderable
element in the prosperity Of the State.
The following counties are officially
recognized as the glass sections: Bel
mont, Franklin, Jefferson, Licking,
Muskingum and Portage. In this sec
ton there are thirty two furnaces, Bel
mont county having fifteen and Portage
six. The value OF glass manufactured
yearly aggregates over 100000.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1881-03-31
lYnSilanti Mich Commercial !

Our representative lately learned
the following from Mr.. Carl Siegmund,
Cor. Congress and Washington SITS. ::
My daughter suffered from Rheuma-
tism to such ali extent that it crippled
her, rendering her unable to walk at
all: We consulted many physicians
and used llkinds of medicines. but in
vain. At last st. Jacobs Oil effected
the happicst results. 1t cured my
daughter.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1881-03-31
Too Long.

o, skirt! beautiful skirt 4! jerked
through the dust and dragged through
the dirt! once you were white as the
mantle of snow, as the leaves of the lily
when spring zephyrs blow stiff to the
touch, and fair to the eye, and neat to
the gaze of each passer-by now tat
tered and spattered-O! piteous wrong
Beautiful skirt, they made you too long.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1881-03-31
PILES! PILES! PILES!
A Sure Cure Found st last. No Ono Nee

A Sure Cure Found st last, No Ono Need
suffer.
a sure cure for tho BLVD, breeding, Itching aud
Hlcern'ed Piles hl: been disc i,v Dr. Williams
!ai1 lHdiah rcme,iyl, called Dr. Williams Indian
V'htment: single box has cured :lc worst chronic
cases 9f - and ~ year: Standing No need suffer
medicine. Williams Ointment absorbs lie ,',n;nrs
nays me Intense it'y ar'cuar!y a. nsi:
sc',hE warm IN bso,, acfS rs pouice. give instant
nnI painleSs relief and is prepared only for Files,
Itching 1T ne private parts and ,,.cI,ing else
land says about DE- Williams Indian Pile oin,ment
have used scores Of pile cures and have never
mHnens relief u Pr Williams Indian Pile Ointment
fOr sale by all druggists, mailed on REGENT a:
land, .. '|'e'e
,Noyes Bros. Cutler, wholesale agents, St. rau,
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1881-03-31
Only Words.

It is an unfortunate fact that with
many authors words are almost the oniy
care; they make it study not so much
to produce new sentiments as to recon-
mend those already known in fairer
decorations. Thus the reader searches
for information in vain he finds moth
ing but words.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1881-03-31
---
Good ldYic4.

II misfortunes have befallen you by
your own misconduct, live, and be wiser
for the future. If they have befallen
you by the fault Of others, live; You
have not wherewith to reproach your
self. IF your character be unjustly at
tackled, live; time will remove the as
persion. II you have spiteful enemies,
live, and disappoint their malevolence.
If you have kind and faithful friends,
live, to bless and protect them. If you
have hope for immortality, live, and
prepare to enioy it.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1881-03-31

A LECTURER was explaining to little
girl how a lobster cast his shell when he
had outgrown it. Said he: "What do
You do when you have outgrown your
clothes? You cast them aside. do YOU
not" ooh, no" replied the little one :;
eve let out the tucks.'
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1881-03-31

II SAY, Paddy, that is the worst
looking horse that I have ever seen in
harness. Why don't you fatten him up?"
" Fat him up, is it? Fax, the poor
haste can scarcely carry the little mate
that is on him now !" replied Paddy.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1881-03-31

BALDuEADED men are informed that there
is but one avenue Of escape from their affection,
and that is CARBOLINE, a deodorizcd extract
Of petroleum, the great hair remover, which
being recently improved, is more efticaclous
than ever and is absolutely faultless.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1881-03-31
TO1'tsat.1ltinQ Pi(eS.

kidneyWort is an unfailing remedy for that
tormeDtins disease piles. 1t moves the bow
els gently and freely, and thus removes the
cause. DO not fail to try it faithfully either in
dry or liquid form.-Sun and Press.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1881-03-31

LADY, if you wish to render your skin as
white and soft as that of Diana of Poictiers is
said to have been, use Glenn's Sulphur Soap,
which is a hcalthful beautifier and not per
niciOus cosmetic.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1881-03-31

up in medium sized shocks ; let it cure
we'll until cold weather, then bind up
in sheaves and put it in the barn or
open Sheds,
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1881-03-31

LYDIA E.PINKHAM's VEG ETABLE COMPOCND
has done thousands Of women more good than
the medicines of doctors. 1t is positive cure
for all female complaints. Send to Mrs. Lydia
E. Piu1ham
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1881-03-31
II Single Stone

from running brook slew the giant Goliall,
and millions of noble men since that time
have died from a single stone in the bladder,
which Warmers Safe Kidney and Liver Cure
would have dissolved and carried away.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1881-03-31

NONE are so seldom found alone, and
are so soon tired of their 0.Un company,
az those coxcombs who are on the best
terms with themselves.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1881-03-31
CAROL OF THE SEASONS,
r. L. WAKEMAN.

The pulseless earth
Is tapestried
With snow. Glad mirth
Is haply wed
To full content;
And every hour
Some joy is blent
With winters powers.
The streams which slept
In winters arms
Have slyly crcpt
To other charms
Through clouds and tears,
To laugh and sing,
Now swift appears
The face Of spring!
All earth, each soul,
The sky, the air,
Joys in the whole
Returning care;
For duties thrill
The world with tunes
When summers fill
The laps Of Juncs;
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1881-03-31

The seasons pause!
The frost fires glcuul
Through dreary gauzc
Der field and stream
Sweet nut,lmn's store,
Meath tender skies,
Floods DER 1nd DER
With ccst:,cies.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1881-03-31

Use Redding's Russia Salye.-Cuts, Burns
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1881-03-31
"A lazy Confined to Her Scye
Weeks WITHOUT Assistance got out Of Bed I'm few hours

SR-Egh
oeo ana could without
had IIful
MING her the least My while visiting lafayette your
lin
using H. and
years and she has had w.
0la"lu1v yours, J. E. IovELEss Thorntovu.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1881-03-31
FRAZE *
AXLE GREASE.
Best liz the World. Get the scnnlue. Ev.
cry PACKAGE has our Trademark and 10

suon Enc r W Engines Ci' N Fc
selape BOZ sI g Wagons Potato Dss
Es f.: 81! F. & STEELE,JR &CO. SE' "Sss::
Rinoe ATTACHMENTS for Wind
Thus cnurn t 'he world Patent Thhers sn f.,
Lady Her Bed and could not Move for scxc,
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1881-03-31

will buy postal card which to send your address
and receive free postage prepaid) no book
"Thc Liver, Its Diseaaes and their Treat
mcnt,'' including MaIarial troubles.
Address DIR. SANFORD lGO Broadway, N.Y.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1881-03-31
A MUSICAL WONDER,

Do you waut perfect Musical Instrument rival Of
the piano and orgsnuDOn which sight you per.
form as perfectly q ans professor upon the insssu-
al9gue Of the greatest musical nxe nton Of the aee
any man, woman child can plsy correctly al the
POPULAR classic, operate, sacred dance and other
Prices, $1,000, $12NO, 5000, 1854 and xl25M. DYED
HOWARD, 81 East Third St, St Paul