The Saline County journal. [volume] (Salina, Kan.) 1871-1893, 1881-04-21
youassAL jAnoost.
BY JOSHUA sHoHr.

JOURNAL jAnooa.
BY JOSHUA sHoRr.
An unruly girl-Topsy Turvy.
Closing remarks-shut the doom
A one-horse place single stall!
Winter has had its show, now giv<
spring its reign.
A trusted ruler-ths reliable book.
keeper.
Within the reach Of all-the end Of
the nose.
Egg Harbor- saving eggs for Easter
consumption.
Most counterfeit bills are made pass
ing well.
A paint pail-the face Of the woman
who uses cosmetics
Why Is the letter 81" like q fellow
with the collie? Because II Is in pain.
With rolling sksies upon heffeet
She swifly glided 'rosni the rink;
Suddenly, In q manner its hard 70 beat,
She sat down quicker than she could wink.
The season OF the year has now ar
rived when it is reasonable to suppose
that people begin to leave of certain
habits.
"I'm getting fat" as the fellow re-
markell when he bought q pound Of
lard.
A ressle that will always lie found
in the midst Of a naval engagement -
the tug OF war.
OF very crate impOrtance-the fire
bars OF a stOre.-1arigue. or crater
Importance nutmeg pulverizer.
"Spring SUITS" announces tailor,
in a displayed advertisement. Too
much wind to suit us, friend tailor.
Archibald Forbs says the Canadians
are insulierably slow.-E'nrique. What
in? Their appreciation Of Mr.. Forbs?
Wealth may be u solace, but \ sole
ace amt worth much when the other
fellow holds three Of them.
A party Of the first part-Adam.-
Joshua Short. A party of the second
Northumberland RaHvay
Journal.
The suspension of Texas paper took
place simultaneously with the suspen-
pension of its editor from q telegraph
pole.
Just so soon as the incipient nous.
tache gets long enough 1t will "get
down i'm the mouth" mo Als9640BC).
The individual who recently fur
nished the " Pleasant Paragraph de-
partment of the New York Weekly
with choice selection of original (?)
" Brevities" must have
been an appreciative peruser Of the
=" FacetiOus Items " column published
In the JOURNAL nearly two years since.
Weaver, of the New Haven Register,
not agreeing with that portion of our
a" How to Write Original Paragraphs
which states "To paragraph and be
original-critically, not hypercritically
requires the very finest tact and dis
that may he conceived Of"
Wrong again. All 1t re-
quires is the ability to spell mule, goat,
butter, mOther-in-law and
. few simple words of like nature.
Original paragraphing is as easy as
rolling of log. We know lots of
who originally" scis-
sor the Register, and have made quite
\ reputation.
HOW JOHN ALPHONsO WAS CURED OF
HIS INFArUATIoN.
a Story
CHAPTER ONCE.
Twas midnight. A fierce storm was
OH the outside and fierce
log in the backyard. TITS fierce
Storm" articulated John AlphOnso.
q The wind blows fearfully. the light
ming flashes and the thunder rolls in
and the raih falls i'm torrents.
II fellow should happen to he out
,o-night, he'd get wet" Still the
thunder rolled loudly in the heavens,
md J. Alphonso rolled uneasily in his
owly cot. n. b. A. slept In the
title, but "lowly" Is for effect. II |
wasn't the roaring of the storm that
made J. Alph. uneasy, nor was II BID
,'gs. John \. had snOarcd through |
many worse storm and more bid b'gs |
han this. Simply, J. A. was In love.
CHAP. TOOTH.
It's a bad thing to he in love. Love |
3 synonymous with troublc-the
worst kind of trouble. A man might
8 well he i'm purgatory rs i'm love. so
hought John Al. rs he lay in bed.
CHAP. THIRD.
ooh, il I could only he cured of |
his terrible infatuation." murmured
!. Alph., n he kicked the foOt-bOard
mt of the bed. She returns not my |
even in affectatiOn."
CHAP. FOURTH.
Finally J. Alpho. arose, opened his
lead and run the window out in the
torn. A big bolt of lightning, the
ize of fire-poker, hit him on the
read and hurt it badly. 1t ached for
N hour afterwards, but he didn't
now anything about it. 1t killed
lin 80 dead that he didn't care. But
cured him of his infatustion.