Sharp County record., 1881-05-19
The oagrrSSlOnal Record. .-InterVieWing
Its Editor.

AAtltZ III ustblls anu 1 W ait " >tC al INV
dashed literary fellows in Washington
before leave for home. Twas a news
paper man myself for two months"
The employer, giving iellow-work-
man a significant wink, jerked mis-
thumb over his shoulder at a portly man
with a big watch-chain and Il prOmi-
meat nose, whom the Oshkosh stranger
approached, tapped Familiarity on the
arm and asked
- Are you the chief engineer of the
C0HgrCsSi0Hai Recorder
The alleged editor gave his questiOner
a hasty survey, and supplemented it
with an affirmative nod
"Well, was an editor myself two
months, and | entertain a fraternal feel
ing for the newspaper profession. OF
course your journal has larger circu-
lati0n than any other paper in the city?
They all have. But don't it keep you
pretty busy writing the speeches you
print9 That's a brilliant idea you have
adopted OF interspersing the word
Laughter in your articles. The reader
knows just when to smile, If it wasn't
for the hint he might burst ont weeping
in the wrong place"
The Record man said he spared no
expense to please his subscribers.
9 But why do you ignore advertise
mentsp" asked the visitor. Don't
finty-faced agent ever call upon you
and urge you to sign ali agreement to
advertise his medicines, one column
one year, at half rates and take your
pay in liver pills at full price,"
The Record editor said he enjoyed an
immunity from such annOyances.
"And do you never have customer
who wants a ffty-cent advertisement
inserted, and gets mad and stops his
paper because you won't give him a
,iive-doIlar puff to boOt?"
r" Never"
&" And perhaps you never receive
propositions offering you a seventy-tive
dollar organ for one hundred dollars
worth ,of, advertising and fifty dollars in
,cash?p ifi I'D ft
You are right don't"
swell, you are lucky. ] once edited
a paper two months, and nearly every
week might have scooped in seven
ty-fve-dollar organ by giving one hun
4dred dollars worth of advertising and
zifty dollars in cash. Do you ever stop
the press to announce that just as we
are going to press we learn so and So"
The editor shook his head negatively.
H " No? Well, of course you get into
all the shows for nothing-by giving
ten dollars worth Of puhs for two or
three ffty-cent tickets?'
Mo; never puff shows"
.sshs,Don't? Well, | like you all the bet
ter for that. l edited paper for two
months and never puffed solitary
show"
The gentleman from Oshkosh took a
fresh, pinch of fne-cut, and again
erupted:
when you are deeply absorbed in
an able editorial on the Irish Land
Question, or the War with the Beers,
are YOU ever confronted by an irate man
with an ugly club, who wants to know
who writ that piece?' and who threat
,ens to give YOU the grand bounce mighty |
su lden if you withhold the desired in
f0rmation9"
a- The Rec0rd makes no enemies" D."
II notice your columns are entirely |
barren of poetry. You have no poets
corner Don't you receive impassioned |
verses on Despair" or Odes to False |
and Fair Ones, or ANYTHING that way?"
The Record never printed but one |
poem said the editor, land that was
written expressly for its columns, 1t |
was called Beautiful Snow You may .
have seen it?'
N-no," said the Oshkosher, reflect
lively; "can't say that ever heard of it.
Guess it wasn't copied much by your
ex hauges. Iedited a paper two months
and never printed line of poetry. |
That is what like about the Record
its exclusion of poetry. But, say; don't
you think a Puzzle Department would
add variety to your columns and in
crease your circula--"
The Record man, with a fearful scowl
on his face, reached for twO-pOund
stereotype cut; but the stranger. affect
ing not to notice his displeasure, con-
tinued:
IL have looked through the Record
in vain for humorous column. You
must receive such brilliant wtticisms
as What does the pump handler and
How much does the high way?' and
OF corset isY And modest para
grsjhers send you copies of their pa
pes, with a blue pencil-mark around
tleir alleged jokes, don't they? Very
few editors escape such an aff1iction."
The R3cord man replied that he was
one OF the few who escaped. And, be-
sides, there was more daughter" in
his paper than could be found in any
humorous paper in the country.
rafr edited paper two months, re-
sumed the stranger, land never print
led a funny paragraph. And that is
what | like about the Record see you
J know how to conduct paper and when
YOU come to Oshkosh III be happy to |
show you around. Good d"
"By. the way interrupted the Record
. man, "what was the name of the paper
you had the honor to edit two months
that never pulled show nor printed a
funny paragraph"
THE Oshkosh Counterfeit Detector.
Good day. Puck.
The Story OF Two Boys.