National Republican. (Washington City (D.C.)) 1872-1888, 1881-01-22
A BOX STEW

The best stuff for slipPcrs-ashes.
A close slayc-Jwo per cGpt a month.
A dangerous c9llision-rUning into debt
Boston girls never hang up their stockings; an
exchange says they suspend their hosiery.
Fiction and truth may be driven well together
when intellect holds the reinS.-Hht1hoR Times.
fellow who married poor girl said he mar
ried her 10 take care of her. but now when he
staid out late At night she took hair Of him.
The Elmira Free Pcs has discovered that the
declaration Of the Albany -ifHaS that editors are
only human has created iStcnsc Indignation
throughout the civilized world.
A cat in Hartford, Conn. has just undergone
compulsory fast Of fifteen days having been
"snOwcd IL under q building. Ii i quickly get
ing back tO its accustomed plumpncSs.
PA journal devoted 10 the Interests OF under
takers wishes its readers Z" happy New Year
and many of thcm," If undertakers don't with
draw their patronage from that Journal it viii be
marvel
Little Ounce docking up suddenly from her his
tory book" Oh, mamlny darling. l 90 50 wish
I'd lived under james H." Mamma-"Why?'
Little Ounce" Because ] see here that education
was very much neglected in his reign
What asked a Galveston SunGayschool
teacher, is that invisible power that prevents
the wicked man from sleeping and causes him to
toss about upon his pillow, and what should he do
TO enjoy that peace that passcth understanding"
"SeW up the hole in the musGuito bar" was the
prompt answer from the bad boy al the foot of the
class
There is Judge in Galveston whose head is as
bald a. that of an American eagle. 4 little boy
living next door has got it into his head that lack
of hair i insepaTably connected with the title of
judge consequently, when lawyer whose head
is densCly covered with hair, called and was adj
dressed as Judge" little Tommy shook his head
and said: e You amt no Judge: cant fool me-"
"Why am no judge" Cos yer hair amt parted
wide enough was the gUicless reply-Gdlrestoa
N6iCS
of NoTthcOUntryman. who was both parish
clerk ana schOOmastCr, il is related that when he
was compelled to resign his scholastic duties TO
qualified teacher from training college he heard
the new master tell his pupils " i is an indefinite
article. \ is one, and can only be applied to one
thing. You cannot say q cats, dogs: but only
cat, dog. Upon this the clerk said 10 the rector
Here's pretty fellow you've got % keep school!
He says that you can only apply the article A 20
nouns Of the singular number, and here have l
been saying Amen all my life. and your reverence
has never once corrected me.'--IF the TcGr Round.
a chat with Savni-On being introduced TO the
great tragedian opened the conversation by re-
marking, "SignOT Salyini, chiarOs euro mscca-
Toni, 10 which lac courteOUsly responded. "Signor
Americana, Andantc Stietto" / was delighted 10
hear If, and replied, "MeZzO tinto. bittOro Eman-
uCilO yivO VOCe.' That seemed To please Salyini
and he remarked, smiling, PianiSSimo staccatO
mio.' agreed with him, and said, " Bravo laz-
zaroni piano" He seemed 10 like The idea very
much and declared quite earnestly. " Handano
oTganO grlndegiui. / then shook hand and with
drew. as slw many of his friends waiting an Gp-
Portunity TO speak TO him.-Ra:liaJtoR Hdicbeye.