Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1881-03-12
LOCAL INTELLIGENCE,
UNFORTUNATE LOVERS,

Vn0y arc SOnS 20 jail Om1y Holt.MoII1O0.
Mary Wise isa woman well-known in
police circles. She was discharged from
prison few days ago, and yesterday
morning attended Mayor MacGonigle's
court to witness the proceedings. She
didn't like the mayors way of doing busi-
ness and told him 50. So persistent was
she in correcting the mayors mistakes
and giving him advice, that that function
ary became irritated and directed police
man to take Mary down below. for con-
tempt of court or something like that.
She was locked up for an hour or two and
then discharged.
During the day she fell in with . man
named Frank Mcdonnell, who fell in 10, Q
with her at first sight. His burning pas
sion was as warmly returned by Mary.
They were ardent and congenial spirits,
and they adjourned to place where con-
genial spirits could be had-for consid-
Grafton. After spending some time in
conviviality and pledging each other in
bumpers, they repaired last evening to
Alderman Barr's to be united in the holy
bonds of matrimony. They had no
money with which to pay the magistrate
the marriage fee, but Alderman Barr is
not the man to tear lovers asundar and
make bleed 1.-TWO hearts that beat as one, +"
for SO paltry q consideration
so smiling upon them as benignautly
as Mr.. Pickwick himself could have done
he said he would marry them gratis for the
good of the cause. Taking up the book
and opening it he solemnly commenced to
read the marriage service. "Frank Nc
Donnel wilt thou take this woman, Mary
Wise, to be thy welded wife? wilt thou,
&C., SC. II will," said Frank, in an
ecstasy of joy. "Mary Wise," said the
alderman, in the same solemn tones,
"wilt thou take this man,"-but before
he could finish the question, Mary began
to giggle. and then to laugh and then to
guffaw. The alderman opened his eyes
and mouth in blank amazement, and when
finally he recovered his speech, he said,
What means this levity this is solemn
occasion marriage is a serious thing,
and this bOisterOus cachinnatiOn
is most unseemly. What do you
mean, ma'am % Mary replied that some
thing tickled her and she couldn't help it,
and then laughed until the alderman feared
she was going into Mysteries, 81 can
proceed no further with this matter to-
night" said the alderman )" 81 fear you
are drunk. Go home, sober up and come
here in the morning, and then will CON-
plete the job" Mr.. Mcdonnell begged
the alderman to go ahead and finish the
job at once. "Think what a position it
places me in," said he 81 am married to
her, but she is not married to me. Suppose
anything was to happen" but the alder
man was obdurate. He would not have
tolerated a giggling bride, even if she had
been sober, and he was sure Mary
wasn't. Deaf to all tho lovers en-
treaty. he dismissed them, telling
them to come around in the morning and
be sure to be sober. The lovers departed
heavy hearted and did what many other
unhappy people have done before" they
kept their spirits up by pouring spirits
down." The result was, as has been the
case befOre-the couple fell a prey to two
eagle-eyed policemen, who dragged them
of to the station house and locked them
up in separate cells. This morning they
were taken before the mayor, and the
policemen swOre they were drunk and dis
orderly. The mayor frowned fiercely on
Frank and grimly on Mary, as though he
were thinking "now will repay you for
the slight you put upon my honorable
court yesterday morning." Adjusting
his spectacles he seized a pen, and dipping
it into ink of gall, he wrote oct two COM
mitments, one of them consigning Frank
to the county Jail for thirty days and the
other incarcerating Mary for the term of
forty days. to tho same institution, but
alas not in the same cell. Verify, the
course of true love never does run smooth.