Custer chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, Black Hills, D.T. [S.D.]) 1880-1890, 1881-02-12
OR STOLEN.

Inc ldttcu Cali WAS klllcU lldt ~ lot
giving father might reveal his feelings
toward a prodigal son
The girl who was courted hy a spru'c
young lawyer said she liked to he pro
tected by the strong arm Of the law.
Bernhardt dies SO realistically that
it is said a ron who saw her ran
around to the stage door and wanted to
hold an inquest.
A nan who is "a true as steel, posses
sing an iron will, some gold and a fair
proportion of brass, should be able to
endure the hardware Of this world.
1t is said that sharks will not bite a
swimmer who keeps his legs in motion.
"1f you can keep kicking longer than a
shark can keep waiting you'll be all
right says an acute observer.
The skin of the onion is much used
by soldiers To secure their bayonets.
This is probably what Pierpont meant
when he wrote the thrilling line: Read
it on-yon glistening steelr'
When "A boy who walks with a girl as
though be were afraid some one might
see him, the girl is his sister. If he
walks so close to her AS to nearly crowd
her against the fence, it is the sister of
some one else.
Three Brooklyn doctors examined a
man to see if he was insane. and, as
they found six letters from other mems
wives concealed in the lining Of his coat.
where his own wife would never have
found them, they concluded that he was
able TO transact business.
Il want You to put a new pair Of heels
to these boots,' said DR.. lpccac 10 the
shoemaker. "Why don't You do it your
self, doctor ~ asked old Waxends. 'I?"
said the doctor in astorishment. "Whv.
yes. Does not the good book say, PLY
heal thyself?"
A noted sharper, wishing to ingratiatc
himself with Il clergyman, said "Par,on
| should like TO hear YOU preach more
than | can tell. well" responded the
clergyman, "if you had been where you
ought to have been last Sunday Won
would have heard me" "Whcre was
that ~ "In the county Jail"
"Eob Brow, did you say that my
had not as much sense a. Billy
smiths little yellow dog" "No, |
never said that your father had not AZ
much sense AS Billy Smiths yellow dog.
| said was that Billy Smiths little
dog had more sense than your
that's all | ever said"
"Now we are nicely settled :" cxclaim-
ed the happy new little wife. IF We
only had a COW, Harry, we could have IA
nice soft bed "t0w" asked the poor
husband. Goose you mean. Geese yield
feathers, you know, Mollic: geese-not
Yes" said Mollie, With a twink
lie; "but cows give down. don't they,
lie uttered snort of defiance,
and went out 10 chop some wood.
as it wicked to take dis heah wood -
asked Frank Grice Of Cash Brenneman.
as the formcr hoisted a large stick of
wood over the fence t. the latter. My
'pinion Is" said Cash, as he shouldcred
the stick, my legal 'pinion is, when de
present price of firewood am taken into
consideration, dat Ne is committin' de
berry highest crime known to de law.
Han ober nudder log"
AT a negro prayer meeting one Of the
brethren earnestly prayed that they
might be preserved from what he called
their "upsettin' sins" "Brudder," said
one Of the elders, yer hain't 'zactlv got
de hang ob dat ar word. It's besettin'-
not upsettin'." "Brudder," replied the
corrected. eff dat's so, it's so; but | wuz
prayin' de Lawh ter sabc us from de sin
oh 'toxication, an eff dat aint a upsettin'
sin, | drnno."
Board schoolmaster desiring to ex-
plain the word :~conceited," which had
occurred in the course of the reading
lesson)-Now, boys, suppose that ! was
Boosting Of my learning
that ! knew a good deal o Latin, for H.
stance, or that my personal appearance
was-that / was very good looking, v
know-what should you say | was ?
straightforward boy (who had caught
the speakers eye")--I should say you
was a liar.
A quiet man travelling a short time
ago by rail in England was annoyed by
the noise which two or three men in the
same carriage were making. One OF
them had been telling tremendous
stories about himself in a loud voice
and had tried once or twice To draw out
the quiet man, but in vain. At last be
:urncd 10 hl..i and said rather oliensiy.
ely, II fear, sir, that our noise. has rather
Inconvenience you" "Not at the
least" he replied. Il thought YOU
were not interested by my stories