The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1881-01-13
A Straightforward Answer.

Did you erer observe" said Colone
sGiihooly to Ma jor SpiIlkins, as they me-
andered down Galveston Avenue. "did
you ever observe, Major, how difficult
r it is to get a straightforward answer, &
plain yes or no, from people generally?'
81 don't think I ever did,
"Well. sir,' continued Gilhoolv,
"Fll bet two schooners of beer that we
can go into dozen stores and ask il
they have certain things, and if they
haze not got them, the storekeeper will
not say SO, plain. out, in one single in
Spilikins investigated his clothing,
and finding two car tickets, said it was
a bet. -rif.
i,s Then they strolled into French or
Italian fruit-store, and Gilhooly asked
-. 6 Have you a green watermelon for
sale?''
'.Watermelonr' exclaimed the as
founded foreigner, "zis is re wintaire
season.
ar Ididn't ask you for any meteoro-
logical intelligence Anybody who paws
ten dollars a cord for wood is apt to
suspect that summer is fading away;
besides, I've gSt an almanac at home.
4AbNS yoa Soe iCCu WdltIIuGlOu!
is'' Here is re orange, re banana. re
apple" ,i71 ~
Don't want lessons in botany. Have
you got a green watermelon?''
"Ze green watermelon is not ripe"
81 didn't ask you whether it was ripe
or not; merely asked you if you had
one; but come, Spillkins, let's 60 He
will give us a history of the French rev.
. olution before he answers the question.
Let's meander"
The next place was millinery estab-
lishment.
s'Madam," said Gilhooly, have you
fried mule for salep'
lady got as red as a turkev-gob-
bier, and craning her neck out, said:
,,,, -..Sah?n -. go
las Have you a fried mule in your ele-
CANT establishments
FL. IS I've got husband, sir, and broth
II ers, who win protect me from insult"
gmlsI didn't ask. for your pedigree.
am. I've got one of my own. There
is no insult intended. merely asked
you civil question: .s<.g
I've got a husband. John! O.,
xJohLlN - Z = :
mo need of calling him, mann. If
you will say that he is fried mule, YOU
needn't produce him. We will take
your word for it. 't.
.slas "John! o, John! come quick; here
are two galoots insulting me'
Lets co. said SpIlkins.
tive might as WE'LL she evidently
don't catch my meaning responded
e, ,Gilhooly ss~lsuif - = &
Look here, Gilhooly," said Spill
kins, .'somebody will exasperate US
yet and get themselves into trouble"
8 am going to- win that beer You
won't find anybody on this whole street
that will say yes or2no. Let us 60 into
this undertaker's shop"
.AgIhe. amdertaker was a iolly-lookino
man and advanced to meet them with
sunny smile, remarking: sz
Hope l can do something for you
to-day, gentleman" =.
,,,9 Have you any canned lobsterp"
asked Gilhooly.
-s'e''' That's a good joke. I'll tell Won
what have got back here in the Ice
box. I've got stiff that was yanked
sout Of Galveston Bay last week. just
follow me, gentlemen.
7'i 'Thanks! When we want to study
medicine we will send on to PHILADELPHIA
for q diploma" 3~s
'ea s But l want to show you what an at
otractive establishment I've got.''
When want to see any curiosities
l can 60 to museum. Have you any
scanned lobstersp' l.i .a4as -.
-aat' I've. got neat thing in shrouds,
with frills all down the 'front.'
r,gGillhooly shook his head, said he
sQldnit go, a cent on style, didn't care
whatukind of clothes he wore, and once
more they emerged into the street.
+'''I weaken said Spillkins. "ru
pass an appropriation to pay for the
beer" -
:" You might as well,n responded Gil
hooly. for you won't get one to an
swer straight out If you 60 into that
drug store and ask for cranberry pie.
or some baled hay. or copy of 'Pope's
Essay on Man. or an accordion, thew
will spring some new liver-encouraoer
on you or box of -bunion eradicator.
And they went and got the beer