Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1881-01-07
Perfectly Lovely Philosophy.

\ lew Gays ago Boston girl who
had been attending the School of Phi.
losopby at Concord arrived in Brooklyn
on a visit to a seminary chum. After
canvassing thoroughly the fun and
gum.drops that made up their educa-
ton in the seat of learning at which
their early scholastic efforts were made,
the Brooklyn girl began to inquire into
the nature Of the Concord entertain
ment.
And SO you are taking lessons in
philosophy. How do you like in?"
On. it's perfectly lovely. It'sabout
science, you know, and We all Just dote
on science
81 1t must be nice. What is it about?'
ITS about molecules as much as any
thing else, and molecules are Just too
awfully nice for anything. If there s
anything l really enjoy it's molecu-
les."
Tell me about them, my dear.
What are molecules ?"
"Oh. molecules. They are little
wee things, and it takes ever so many
OF them. They are splendid things!
Do you know, there amt anything but
what's got molecules in it. And Mr..
Cook is just as sweet as he can be, and
Mr.. Emerson, too. They explain every
thing SO beautifully"
"How I'd like to 60 there!' said the
Brooklyn girl. enviously.
You'd enjoy it ever so much. They
teach protoplasm, too, and if there is
one thing perfectly heavenly its protor
plasm. I really don't know which I
like best, protoplasm or molecules"
Tel me about protoplasm. l know
I should adore it."
Deed you would. It's Just too
sweet to live. You know it's about
how things get started, or something
of that kind. You ought to hear Mr..
Emerson tell about it. 1t would stir
your very soul. The first time he ex.
planned about protoplasm there wasn't
a dry eye in the house. We named
our hats after him. This is an Emer-
son hat. You see the ribbon is drawn
over the crown and caught with a
buckle and bunch of flowers. Then
you turn up the side with spray of
forget me-nots. Amt it just too sweet?
All the girls in the school have them"
"How exquisitely lovely! Tell me
some more science"
ooh! almost forgot about differen-
tiation. am really and truly positively
in love with differentiation. It's differ
ent from molecules and protoplasms,
but it's every bit as nice. And Mr..
Cook! You should hear him 60 on
about it I really believe he's perfectly
bound up in it. This scarf is the Cook
scarf. All the girls wear them, and we
named them after him just on account
of the interest he takes in differentia-
ton"
What is it, anyway"
=" This is null trimmed with Langue-
doc lace"
l don't mean that-that other"
Cob! differentiation! amt it sweet
It's got something to do with species.
It's the way you tell one hat from an
other, so you'll know which is becom-
ing. And we learn all about ascidians,
too. They are the divinest things. I'm
absolutely enrsptured with ascidians.
If only had an ascidian Of my own,
I wouldn't ask for nythirg else in the
world"
What do they look like, dear -? Did
you ever see one ?" asked the Brooklyn
girl, deeply interested.
"Oh, no; nobody ever saw one ex-
cept Mr.. Cook and Mr.. Emerson, but
they are something like an oyster with
reticule hung on its belt. I think
they are just heavenly"
:" Do You learn anything else besides
all these ?"
I" oh, yes. We learn all about com
mon philosophy and logic, and those
common things like metaphysics, but
the girls. don't care anything about
those. We are just in ecstasies over
differentiation and molecules, and Mr..
Cook, and protoplasms and ascidians,
and Mr.. Emerson, and I really don t
see why they put in those vulgar
branches. Ifanybody beside Mr.. Cook
and MIR. Emerson had done it we should
have told him to his face that lie was
too terribly, awfully mean"
And the Brooklyn girl went to bed
that night in the dumps because for
tune had not vouchsafed her the advan.
tages enjoyed by her friend, while the
Boston girl dreamed of seeing an as
cidian chasing molecule over differ
entiated back fence with q club, for
telling protoplssn that his youngest
sister hsd so many freckles on her nose
that they made her cock eyed.-Brook.
Ign Eagle.