The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1881-06-09
3fRS. MORGAN'S DERCH LAW,


workman, and had the best wages, but he
would drink; and, like most men Of his
class when it liquor, generally beat his
children and sometimes his wife. Mrs.
Morgan was notable woman, and loved
her hui sDand in spite of all; but after years
of patient forbearance she came to the con-
clusion that Jimmy Morgan, as she called
him, should stop drinking whether or no.
In other words, she resolved on Berch law
of her own.
The occasion was one day when Jimmy
came home to dinner half tipsy, which al
wars happened when he stopped at Snif-
kins' on his way, and he did this, on an
average, about twice week.
"Now, yoa Morgan" she said. as soon as
he entered, you've been at the whisky
bottle again. You needn't deny it. I
know it by your looks; and by your breath.
too. Go away, you nasty beast; how dare
you try to kiss me when you've been drink
ing!"
Jimmy had essayed this matrimonial
caress, hoping it would conciliate the guide
wife; but finding his purpose foiled, he
stood upon his dignity.
"Hoity toity," he said, show We put on
airs. Give us some dinner and don't sulk. -
Mrs. Morgan did not often get reused,
but she was now; she put her arms akimbo
and answered.:
"Not mouthful of dinner do you get in
this house to-day, nor any other day, till
YOU can come home sober. So the sooner
you're off the better"
The half tipsy husband looked at her in
amazement. For moment he thought of
enforcing his will, as he had done before,
but whether he had not drunk quite enough
to rouse his courage, or whether the blaz-
inc eyes of his Relpmate frightened him, he
turned, after little hesitation, and left the
house.
OF course he went straight to the tavern
as Mrs. Morgan rather expected he would.
And of course, when night came, he was
led home thoroughly inebriated, as she
rather wished he would.
He had just sufficient reason left to
wonder at the extraordinary care with
which his wife, after assisting to undress
him, tucked him in bed. But this a i
everything else was soon forgotten in a
stupefed sleep.
She waited until satisfied that he was
entirely insensible, when she proceeded to
sew the offender up in the sheet exactly as
If he had been o mummy. The stitches
were net small, but they were taken with
trebled thread; and she knew they would
hold, especially as he could now use neither
legs or arms. Once or twice he grunted,
as if about to awake, but she stopped q
moment at such times.
At last the proceeding was complete.
And now she brought forth cart-whip,
which SIZE had borrowed that afternoon
from neighbor.
"Now, Jimmy Morgan" she said, apos-
trophiziag him, "1Il cure you Of your beast
~ habits, or III whip you till you'll be sore
for month"
Down came the lash as vigorously as her
brawny arm could layit on; again, again,
and yet again; it seemed as if she was never
going to stop: And very soon the offender,
reused from his stupor, saw what it was,
and began to beg for mercy.
Not till you We promised to leave of
drinking" was the answer; and the blows
Swear never to taste liquor again!"
"Oh! you'll kill me-you'll Kill me"
mo, it will do yoa good. To think how
drank You were ten minutes ago, and now
to see you rolling about SO lively-never tell
me, Jimmy Morgan, that I'm killing you
after that"
Mercy, mercy, mercy" roared the Grim
inal: How can you, Polly, use your hus-
band SOP"
II can and WILL" And another shower
of blows descended. ''Halloo as much as
you like, for it will do you no good; only, /
can tell you one thing, will not rouse the
neighbors. I told them what I was going
to do if you ever came home drunk again.
Hav you had enough yet? Will you prom
at once, or are you going to hold out still?"
"Oh, oh. oh, !" groaned the helpless hus-
band, twisting and turning in every direc-
ton, but unable to escape the cataract of
blows, ooh, Oh"
will you promise? You'd better do it
quick, resumed his inexorable spouse,
or III beat you to jelly. These six years
I've borne your drunkenness, but I'll bear it
no longer. I've tried coaxing, I've tried
everything, and now I'm trying whipping
You've beaten me often enough, and I'm
paying you back. Promise at once, the
quicker tho better, for I'll notlet you up
till You do, even if it keeps me here ali
night, and you're sick for year afte1ward. "
1t was good while beforethe criminal
gave in. He thought his wife would tire
out at last, but when the castigator had
proceeded for some time, and he saw no
symptoms of either fatigue or relentine.
he was compelled to snccumb.
III swear, I'll swear," he said, at last.
I'll do anything. Only let me up. That
q dear, gosd Polly. Oh! don't whip me any
more, for I've said I'd swear Oh! oh!"
Mrs. Morgan gave him three or four
sound cuts more to make assurance doubly
sure, before she administered the oath.
which she did. at last, with the Bible in her
hands, completing the ceremony by max
ing him kiss the book.
From that night Jimmy Morgan was new
er known to taste liquor. He told his
neighbors that he had been so sick, after
his lant spree, that he had resolved to join
the temperance society; but he did not tell
them what had made him i'll. Mrs. Nor
gan. too, kept the secret, nursing him
through his bruises. which were neither
few nor slight. However, as she said to
herself, desperate diseases require desper-
ate remedies" and so she never repented
OF the medicine she had administered, even
though her husband did not earn dollar
for three weeks.