Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1881-11-05
wArcHENsa HIS WIFE.
A Woman who HAS Got Her spsamk
Up like Everysa1uIxs.u

A Woman who Has Got Her Spank
UP Like Everydaulxs.r
A Jolly German started out after
a physician for his wife, who was
very sick. He stopped at a favorite
saloon just as the boys inside had
begun TO make merry over the
first keg OF buck beer. He ap-
preached and looked cautiously
glasses We're held high above the
heads Of the jewellers, as one OF the
number pronounced a toast appro-
riate to the occasion. The Silent
watcher licked his lips, and wished
his errand had been not one requir-
ing SO much dispatch. He was
turniHg reluctantly away, when the
crowd saw him.
"Hello!" they shouted, there's
Fritz. Bring him in.''
lie was laid hold upon and
hauled up to the bar, all the while
protesting.
.Poys, | vos in a quick hurry.
Old woman sick like der tuyf;iE. l
yos come nit ter toctor sooner as
lightnin'."
"Well, you can take some buck
while you're here, ard kill two
birds with one stone,n was the re-
ply:
"Yaas, / kill Won shicken nit a
couple of stones, ind der old voo-
man die mitout der doctor, ton't
forget myself NV it, ell ?''
ooh, she won't die. Buck beer
don't come but once a year, and
you have your old woman all the
time. Fill them up again."
n "Yaas, | got her all the time,
but exposin' she go dade, / don't
got her anymore sometimes. It's
peter to go NIT der toctor seldom
right away"
But he didn't go. AS one glass
after another was forced upon him
by the reckless crew, the object of
his GRAND was flOated further and
further from his vision, until it was
carried out of his mind altogether,
and his voice, untinged with anX
iety, Joined in the drinking songs,
and rose above all others.
Phus he was found by his son.
late that night. The boy grasped
him by the sleeve and said
HFader, COON home"
Fritz turned, and at the sight of
his boy great fear arose in his
mind, swept away the fumes OF
the beer, and brought him to
sense Of the situation. In an awe.
struck tone, he said
"YaWcub, how you vOs come
here I? Vos someding der Inatter?'
"Yaw," replied the boy.
"Vel, spoke up about it. Vos
der old vooman-Is your mudder-
is she-dade? / can shtand der
best. Don't keep your fader in ex-
penses, pOy; shpit it oud. Vos We
a couple of orphanses, Yawcub ?"
Men,, replied the boy, ''you- vos
anudder. A ieetle baby come nit
der house."
Fritz was overcome for a mo-
ment, but finally stamnered out:
"Vos dot SO? / expose it vos not
so soon already. Vel, vel in der
middle NV life We don't know watts
goin' to turn up. Man exposes und
GOtt SuppOseS. Fill up der glasses"
The boy ventured to ask the old
man why he had not sent the doc
tor.
"Vy! did she want toctor? Pc
ter she tole me so. | got him poety
quick. But never mind. l save
more as ten doilar-piIl on dot paby.
Dot vos a good paby. Fill nudder
glasses. Whooraw for der leedle
book paby. We Won't go home till
yesterday"
Fritz got home at last, and was
in town after couple of days after
some medicine. The boys couldn't
get him back again, though he said
to them /:
"You bate ten to my peesness
now. / go back und watch der old
woman vot she don't got OWNS, by
sheminy. She's got her sphunk up
like every dinks."