The weekly miner. [volume] (Butte, Mont.) 1878-1881, 1881-04-26
A WOMAN's VIEW OF 1T.



''My DEAR" said Mrs. Spoopendyke, hold |
ing piece of lace to her overskirt and Won
ierlng whether she had better plait 1t on or
full it in, "my dear, who is this congressman
Lock who has just died ?''
"What congressman Lock ?" asked Mr..
"Why, read in the paper this morning
that they couldn't do any business because
of the dead Mr. Lock. Did you know him ?'
"That Amt a congressman" said Mr.. Spoo-
pendyke. "You read that there was a dead
lock in the senate. .Wasn't that it ?''
''1es, and | read it all through, and when
found that Mr.: COnkling felt so bad about
it, | thought Mr. Lock must be a congress
man."
'.No, he isn't either. That dead lock means
that the republicans and the democrats can't
agree.'
"Good gracious Have they had another
falling out ? shouldn't think the republi-
cans would fight the poor democrats any
more. What have they been doing now ?'
''They haven't been doing anything. SEN
ator Mahone. of Virginia. went over to the
republicans, and"
II see,' interrupted Mrs. Spoopendyke,
and Mr.. Conkling wouldn't have him con-
frmed. Though can't understand why they
should interfere with Mr.. Mahone's religion.
If the poor man wants to join the church,l-"
"Who Wants to Join the church Who's
a church Think Mr.. Conkling's bishop
Got an idea he's an altar S'pose he's a
dod easted chapel with ivy all over him,
spike fence and chime of bells It's Stan
lev Mathews he don't want confirmed"
III read about him, too," rejoined Mrs.
Spoopendyke. "He's Mr.. Garfeld's collec-
tor, isn't he ?"
"No. he amt. That is Judge Robertson.
Mr.. Garfield wants Judge Robertson for col
lector, and Mr.. Garfield is opposed to it,"
81 don't see why he should be. Though,
of course, l should suppose Mr.. Garfield
would rather have man like Mr.. Malone,
who is going into the church."
where's your senses"" snorted Mr.. Spoop-
endyke. "What do you want to mix things
up for? Trying to make grab bag OF prom
inent Americans? Stanley Matthews is can
didate for Judge. Mr.. Malone is senator
and Robertson is appointed collector, but,
like Matthew's hasn't been confirmed. Can
you see through that
"Of course, / understand that, but l don't
see any excuse for fighting the democrats, un-
less thev think that Mr.. Robertson would
collect money from Mr.. Malone, and Mr.
Matthews would send him to Jail. In thai
case it"
| SIN that case it would take you 10 straight
en- EN- out?' squealed Mr.. Spoopendyke
"What'er you trying to get up now, an ldlo
asylum? Are you planning for murder anl
trying to get up an insanity plea? What dye
think Robertson's going TO collect-hens'
Got notion that Matthews is penitentiary
sitting around to be leased out? Imagine Ma
hone to be the national debt? Well, they
aint: they're men, tell ye. Men with legs,
and Mr.. Spoopendyke kicked ont both hi
foot handles by way OF illustration. "Conk
| ling is opposed to Matthews and Robertson
He says they shan't be confirmed, but he is !
friend of Malone"
"That's what didn't see,' sad Mrs
Spoopendyke. 81 am glad that Mr.. Mahon'
will be confirmed, though don't care for Mr.
Matthews or MIR. Robertson. 1t will teacl
them to repent of their sins and not fly int
the face of providence. Pm glad that Conk
ling is good Episcopalan.'
"Oh! he's prayer-book," howled Mr.
Spoopendyke. "Yon've found him out
cushion and rack nailed up in front Q
him so he'd be dod gasted mourner's bench
Didn't tell We he was senator? DO yo
know what a senator is? It's somethin
shaped like pie, mcasly pie! Understan
1t now?"
"And is Mr.. Malone senator too?' ask
ed Mrs. Spoopendyke, new light dawuin
upon her.
"No, he amt a senator!' grinned NJ
SpoopeniS Ike; "he's a lightning rod to kee
bowling idiots from falling overheard. Begi
to see into it? Aud they want him confirm
ed, so if he finds any dod gasted old temal
named Spoopendyke stopping into cana
he'll slam church on top of her. Got tn
idaa2"
"Cpon nv word, nv DEAL remOnStrate
Mrs Spoopendyke; "You talk eNtravagan
ly Mr. Malone may fight democrats but /
would never go round throwing churches
women. | don't know Mr.. Malone, bl
[ don't believe he would do thing Of tn;
kind. As for Mr.. Matthews and Mr.. Robel
, son. they know their business best but if the
, have abused Mr.. Conkling, ! would nev'
read one of Mr.. Matthews decisions amt VI
, Robertson might call here every day for
month and he could never even collect p
per bill. | don't think it's right to trust su,
men with the contribution box, and kno
the missionary ladies would never perm
, him to collect the subscriptions
, THAT it," yelled Mr.. Spoopendy k
. There's the science of government!
, you now want is a saloon III the basement
: be the national capital What you need is
: gas meter and veto to be an improved VIII
House! When Robertson comes here for d
milk bill, you pay him, you hear? And wh'
: Matthews is Justice of the peace for Brookly
= you have Conkling arrested for stealing co;
q you hear: That'il fetch it! You've got t
: idea now. All you want to do is to live
summer in the Soldiers Home to be col
plete administration If had your visio,
= would get up on three sticks and hire out
l. a telescope!"
y "Of course, I'll do what you say repli
! Mrs. Spoopendyke submissively, land if \
Conkling should take some of our coal, u
's less it was by mistake, | should certainly fl
IF like complaining of him. If Mr.. Roberts
r. comes, will pay him, though the milk is I
N as good as the first We got Perhaps Mr.. III
p thews will fix that when he comes to be j
tice. DO you think Mr.. Malone will con
is too?"
,r "Come !" shrieked Mr.. Spoopendyke,
n course he'll come. He is liat.e to be h