The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1881-07-24
FRESHEST GLEANINGs.

front leeth 10 ooeN o''
ayune. i
when An arm of the sea encircles neck of
4 look out for fishing smscks.-Yonkers
Rsmsn.
,a.m is the patron faint Of the western
= rsisers, because be had tho first spare
Lowell Citizen.
scientific editor exclsims, "What shall
drink" He might wait till somebody
him up.-N. o. Picay une.
Doe thing for which New Haven has res.
TO be grateful. 1t hasn't any baseball
TO apologize for-New Haven Register.
The Panama people would like to zee
IA more work done on the lsthmua. and
q less talk about it in Paris.-N. o.
nyune. =.
Teen in this bo. weather the horse rails |
.l superintendents look outthst their con-
t,tors do not have sticks in their punches.
Lowell Citizen.
An Indiana man is reported as having
10 hearts. What ths average resident Of
,S;sns really needs is an extra lver.-Chi-
bsgo Tribune.
M nation upon the globe offers the emil
IAN, 40 warm welcome as America
Ocean For instant the 18th and 18th
6nstsnts.
When the Pilgrims of New England first
landed they fell on their knees after which
S NAV fol on the aborigines Boston Com
uscsl Bulletin.
A ,sn.pound lump of ice ia smaller now
Az Al any other season of the year. II is
IN ri.p If laft tho
1swslk.-N. o. PicsyuDe.
Every man is fond is fond Of striking the
Ill m the head, but when it happens to be
4. 6noer nail his enthusiasm becomes wild
s,d iucoherent, --SpriDgaeld News.
Some biologists have contradicted Moses,
NM "A ali biologists have contradicted each
clhsr. Noses stands about as well rs any
Sody'-New Orleans Picayune.
When city msl moves into the suburbs
.Da GETS patch of ground big enough to
ns turnip on, his first ambi-
Gonh TO ioin farmers club.-Philadelph
New.
Ayourg lady admitted 10 her mother that
her beau mad kissed her on the cheek, And
what did YOU do:' asked the old lady in o
lone Of indignation. "Mother," said the
toupg lady, Il cannot tell lie; turned the
p.her cheek"
From the fact that the leading editorial
in the Boston Advertiser of Last Saturday is
entitled, Vital Question at Yale College"
b looks as though there was talk of disband-
Jog the ball AMI boating clubs Of that iusti-
utiOn,- Chicago Tribune.
Lorrsrd and Keeue are the
heu to send to England ard
France as ministers. They would
make themselves respected by wortbily rep
cans Picayune.
Chsucer couldn't spell. Neither could
Bacon. And Shakespeare was the worst OF
ha lot. He couldn't even spell his name.
Aud for that matter, no more can any one
Is-Burlinglon Hawkeye.
Midsummer conundrum: Johnson
'Smith, what kind of beast would you
kfer to be if you had to be one!' Smith
Well, just at this time of year think I'd
sher be little bare" -Louisville Courier.
aarna
There is talk Of building an American
eaAin Paris 10 be run by an American. 1t
ultsstood that in case 1t Is carried out,
AspOprietor will lend his fellow country
hsn who have stopped at the hotel we k or
enough money to get home with.-Chic-
go Tribune.
They had brass band in attendance at d
colorado lynchng, lately, but the hero of the
occasion trapped the lynchers into agreeing
grant him one last request, and then asked
hst the band be not allowed to play until he
@ hung. 1t made the band feel awfully
Embarrassed = B 'ston Post.
A euphuis,ic and euptemistic reporter on
10 ST. Paul Pioneer Press tells the tale of a
nan who drank bottle of whisky st one
Wng, and died in the act, in the following
aheVc manner: George Dapp, of Osh-
csn, made bonded warehouse of his bay
indcw and turned his toes up to the dai
the salutstorian al Yale this year was O
pu'chmsn, the vsledictorian Hebrew and
ne prize decsimer Chinese. II wasn't
nat the Americans were not smart enough ia
70 The front, but they had to devote 80
ouch study to the burlesque troops visiting
Post
In The police courl Woman complains
"a! her husband frequently lifts his hand
shns' her not Ia the way of kindness. The
agsIrate: swell, my good woman, what
NeN did he take to tet you sol" "The
Mptelext that he could lay his hands on,
iMe poker or the pot-lifter, or bis boot,
principally his cane, your honor
asimore people have great presence Of
When man fell dead the other
wv was proposed to call coroner. Said
nan "hold Oh! Call two. This is a very
~. occurrence, but we may as well
s me best OF 1t, and enjoy seeing The
-, oe'ween the coroners and their fiph,
p ~ me body" And they did.-Bosior
MHa convention of dime novel writer,
suin New York the other day. Il WA,
ua.,0amously resolved not TO Introduce +
Bs," WORKS "'t OF fiction hereafter, any boy Is ,
ma VINO has not robbed his father O
UoV,S . tortured his little brother, served 81,
omm 'u, IN lail, set fire to neighbours house
lam 1--WE. highway robbery and run ava,
n.N a uvme 70 exterminate Indians and rol
amy, ",'cnes.-Norris.owH Herald.
o,, wy did you send mo such a barrel O
rs Indignantly exclaimed man TO hi
ocs s' What allied the applesf' asked tb,
WI why. they opened we'll enough Of
M'op, but grew worse Ali the wsv Sown y,
IsOss, vuo'e was" said the grocer, shat vol
oNsn us osrrel az tho wrong end. Ifyor
6 M i nm"S mo other end frst you would
h doSnu y 'ne apples growing better all thu