Nebraska advertiser., 1881-03-17
DRUNKEN GEESE.
Sad Tale of acknowledgements I'm Bran
died Cherries.

died Cherries.
London Telegraph
When geese take to drink, the result
Is prepOsterOus. For nature never
meant geese TO get intoxicated. In the
first place they have no hands to hold
on to lamp posts with: while at the hest
OF times their balance is precarious.
Even when sober, fat goose, if travel
ing on uneven ground, constantly cants
forward on to its beak, or backward on
TO its tail: but when inebriated if is Mt
terly helpless. A short time apo 2
farmers wife in Germany had been
making some cherry brandy; but as she
found during the process that the fruit
was unsound, she threw the whole mass
out into the yard, and without LOOKING
TO see what followed, shut the window.
As 1t fell out.a party of geese, good fell
lows, all of them, happened to be wad-
ding by at the time, and seeing the
cherries trundling about, at once inves-
tigated them.
1he preliminary inquiry proving salts
factory, these misguided poultry set to
and ate the whole lot. ssNo heeltans',
was the order of the carouse, and so
they finished all the cherries off at one
sitting, so to speak. The effect of the
spurious fruits was soon apparent. for
In trying to make the gate which led
from the scene of the debauch to the
horsepoDd, they found everything
against them. Whether high wind
had got up, or what had happened, they
could no tell, but it seemed to the geese
as Ii there was an Uncommonly HIGH sea
running, and the ground set in toward
them with a steady strong swell that
was most embarrassing to progress. To
escape these difficulties some dashed
their rudders and hove to. Others tried
to run before the wind. while the rest
tackled for the pigstye. But there was
no ilvlng IN such weather, and one by
one the craft lurched over and went
down all standing. Meanwhile the
Dame, the unconscious cause of this dis
aster, was attracted by the noise in the
the fowl-yard, and looking out saw all
her ten geese behaving as if they were
mad. The gander, usually SO solemn
and decorous, was balancing himself on
his beak, and spinning round the while
In a prodigous furry of feathers and
dust, while the old gray goose, remark
able even among her kind for the cir
cumspection of her conduct, was living
stomach upward in the gutter. feeblV
gesuculating with her legs. Others of
the party were no less conspicuous for
their attitude and gestures, while the re-
malnder were to be seen lying in help
less confusion of feathers in the lee
scupper-that is to say, in the gutter by
the plg-stye. Perplexed by the situa-
ton, the. dame called in her neiphbors
and after careful investigation it was
decided IN council that the birds had
died OF poison. Under these circum-
stances their carcasses were worth moth
ing for food, but, as the neighbors said.
the feathers were not poisoned, and so
they set to work then and there and
plucked the ten geese bare.
Next morning the good woman pot I'M
as usual, and, remembering the feathers
down stair, dressed betimes, for it was
market day, and she hoped to get them
of her hands at once. And then she
bethought her of the ten plucked bodies |
lying IN the porch. and resolved that
they should be buried before she went
out. But, as she approached the door.
on these decent rites n.ent. and was |
turning the key, there fell ON her ears |
the sound of familiar voice-and then |
another and another, until at last the |
astonished dame heard in full chorus
he well-known accents of her nIucked |
and poisoned geese The throat IF the
Did gander was, no doubt, trifle husky. |
md the gray goose spoke in muffied
,ones suggestive of a Christening head |
iche; but there was no mistaking hose
ongues, and the dame, fumblinS at the
ioor. wondered what it all meant. Has
! goose ghost?
Did any one ever read or hear of the
pectre of ganderP The kew turned
lt last, the door opened, and there
Iuacking in subdued tones, suppliant
nd shivering, stood all her flock. There
hey stood, the ten miserable birds. with
pllttlng headaches and parched tongues.
ontrite and detected, asking to have
heir feathers back again. The situa-
ion was painful to both parties. The
Orlorn geese saw in each others per-
ons the humiliating reflection of their
wn condition, while the dame, guilty.
onscious of that bagful of feathers
nd down, remembered how the one
lpse of Noah, in that ''aged surprisal
600 years and unexpected inebriation
'om the unknown effects of wine, had
cen excused by religion, and the unan-
nous voice of posterity.
She, and her neighbors with her. how
yer, had hastily misjudged the geese,
nd finding them dead drunk, had hasti-
: stripped them, without remembering
n moment that if feathers are easy
get off they are very hard to put on.
D she called in her neighbors again.
ut they proved only sorry comforters, ,
IT they reminded her that after all the
Iult was her own; that it was she and
D one else who had thrown the bran :
ed cherries TO the geese. As it was :
ith Job, these ''oblique expostula-
ons" of her friends were harder for
Ie widow to bear ethan the downright
ows of the devil" and so turning {
ON her neighbors. she gathered all her I
ald poultry about her round the kitch- $
/ fire and sat down to make them fian- +