The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1881-06-17
MARK TWAIN AS a MILL
lld TARY CRITIC.

To the regular toast, "The benefit
of judicious training" Mr.. Samuel
l.. Clemens Mark Twain responded
as follows:
LET but the thoughtful civilian
instruct the soldier in his duties
and the victory is sure -M0rti1l
FGrqlIhGr Topper on the Art OF
War.
Mr. Chairman: 1 gladly join with
my fellow-townSmen in extending
a hearty welcome to these illustri-
GUS generals and these War-scarred
soldiers of the republic. This is a
proud day for us, and, if the sincere
desire OF our hearts has been fulfilled
it has not been an unpleasant day
for them. l am in full accord, sir,
with the sentiment of the toast, for
[ have always maintained with
enthusiasm that the only wise and
true way is for the soldier to fight
the battle and the unprecedented
civilian TO tell him how to do it.
Yet when [ was invited to respond
to this toast, and furnished this adj
vice and instruction, was almost
as much embarrassed as was gra-
titled, for l could bring to this great
service but the one virtue of absence
of prejudice and set Opinion.Still but
one other qualification was needed,
and it was only of minor import
ance. L mean, knowledge of the
subject. Therefore I was not dis
heartened, for l could acquire that,
there being two weeks to spare. A
general of high rank in the Army of
this Potomac said two weeks was
really more than [ would need for
the purpose. He had known people
Of my style who had learned enough
in forty-eight hours to enable them
to advise an army. Aside from the
compliment. this was gratifying,
because it confirmed an impression
[ had had before. He told me to go
to. the United States Military Acad-
envy at West Point, and said, in his
fiowery professional way, that the
cadets would "load me up" l went
there and stayed two days, and his
no boast on my own accOunt-nOne.
All / know about military matters l
got from the gentlemen at West
Point, and to them belongs the
credit. They treated me with court
eSy from the first, but when my
mission was revealed this mere
courtesy blosSomed into warmest
zeal. Everybody, officers and all,
put down their work and turned
their whole attention to giving me
military information. Every queS-
ton l asked was promptly and ex-
haustiVely answered; therefore l
feel proud to state that in the advice
which [ am about to give you as
soldiers, [ am backed up by the
highest military authory in the land
yes, in the world, if an American
does say it-West Point.
To begin; gentlemen, when an en-
gagement is mediUated, it is
best to feel the enemy first, that
is, if it is night; for, as one
of the cadets explained to
me, you do not need to feel him in
the day time, because you can see
him then. [ never should have
thought OF that, but it is true-per-
fectly true. In the daytime the
methods of procedure are various,
but the best, it seems to me, is one
which was introduced by General
Grant. General Grant always sent
an active young man redoubt to
reconnoitre and get the enemy's
bearings. [ got this from a high
officer at the Point, who told me he
used TO be a redoubt on General
Grants staff, and had done it often.
When thehOur for the battle is come,
move to the field with celerity-fool
away no time. Under this head I
was told of a faYorite maxim of
General Sheridan'S. General Sher-
idan always said, eff the siege train
isn't ready, don't wait-go by any
trains that are handy; to get there
is the main thing" Now, that is the
correct idea. AS you approach the
field it is better to get out and walk.
This gives you better chance to
dispose of your forces judiciously
for the assault. Get your artillery
in position and throw out stragglers
to the right and left to hold your
lines of communication against sur
prise. See that every hod-carrier
connected with a mortar battery is
at his post. They told me at the
Point that Napoleon despised mortar
batteries, and never would use them.
He said that for real efficiency he
give a hatful Of brickbats
for ton of mortar. However, that
is all he knew about it. Everything
being ready for the assault, you
want to enter the field with your
baggage to the front. This idea was
invented by our renowned guest,
Gen. Sherman. They told me that
Gen. Sherman said that the trunks
and baggage make good protection
for the soldiers, but that chiefly they
attract the attention and rivet the
of the enemy, and this gives
you an opportunity to whirl the
1ther end of the column around and
attack him in the rear. [ have
given a good deal of study to this
tactic since l learned about it, and
t appears to me it is a rafting good
dea. Never fetch on your reserves
1t the start. This was Napoleon's
ircr mistake at Waterloo Next he