The Indianapolis leader. (Indianapolis, Ind.) 1879-1890, 1881-12-03
NAVAL.
The Secretary's inspection"
New York Graphic.l

/
"And is this ship" asked the Secretary
of the Marine at the Navy Yard. Il have
heard of ships from my youth up. and have
| long desired to see one. Pray, do they float
Which end goes first? Why not have one
stick instead of three sticking out of the
deck? Why is not that stick upright like
the restY' asked the Secretary OF the Navy
| of the COmmandant of the Navy Yard
| pointing to the bowsprit
That is the bowsprit," said the Com
mandan. "BowsDrits never stick up. They
| are meek and lowly in all their ways"
What are these holes ~" asked the
Secretary, pointing to the open hatchways
why have you made such deep excava.
| tions in the vesSel?'
said the Commandant, but they extend no
further than the water If they did the ship
would sink"
"Were you ever in storm at sea?" asked
the Secretary of the Commandment.
"Only once" replied the Commandant.
ut was typhoOn IN longitude 81 off the
Equator. We were blown clean out of the
water twice, and spun for miles through the
air like balloon. l shall never forget the
terrible appearance of the sea as We looked
down upon it from the clouds. We got
down safely to the water at last, and tied
the ship to water spout. 1t was terrible
time"
"Deary, deary me-" said the Secretary,
how interesting. And you lived through
1T all. Tell us some more. But let me in
inquire first, is the capstan of vessel equal
in rank to the Captaln?'
"ln ordinary times" said the Command
ant 1.-The Captain outranks the capstan. But
the capstan always takes command of the
ship when the anchor is weighed"
Indeed" replied the Secretary. "But
where Is your fourth castle? do not behold
any castle on board at ALL
Fourth castle! Fourth castle! What do
YOU mean, Secretary" asked the amazed
COmmandant
why, in all sea tales I've read of the
fourth CASTLE" said the Secretary.
"Oh. you mean the fokestle,'" said the
COmmandant.
The wnat?" said the mystified Secretary.
"FOkestle, fOke>tle-place where the crew
live. Down there" said the Commandant.
"Whv, it's hole,' said the Secretary.
Captain, do not approve of your keeping
your men in such dark, damp eel .ars. They'll
catch the rheumatic"
"And do the sailors really climb ND
there?" asked the Secretary, looking aloft;
"uD those little rope ladders? How per-
ilous"
They do" responded the Commandant
Il must improve on that" said the Secre-
tary. IL will introduce great reform in the
service. | will save the life of many a gall
liant tar. Let all the masts be provided with
hydraulic elevators"
at shall be DONE" said the Command
ant.
Call the officer of the watch" suddenly
demanded the Secretary; then remarking in |
an aside: "Ill show him that know some.
thing about ships"
The officer appears.
"Officer," said the Secretary, "show us |
your watches, want to see if they're all i'm |
good order"
''Sir, the watches were all sent on shore
this morning to be cleaned" replied the off,
Ger of the watch.
That's pretty work." growled the Secre.
tary. why, where's the ships jeweler?
How do you suppose you would have the
correct time If you were to keep an engage
ment with an enemy?'
I'VE should take the sun previously" re-
piled the officer of the watch.
81 do not wish you to take the Sum-" thun-
iered the Secretary. II will not allow the
Sun to be taken on this or any other United
States vessel You do not need the Sun.
1t is villainous, vicious paper-bright and |
edited with certain amount of Satanic
ability, l admit, but demoralizing to the
correct disciple of the Navy. If you desire
% take anything, take the Evening Post or
he Philadelphia Ledger. Take a good,
leavy paper that will serve to ballast both
rave no watches on hoard, show us your
clocks. You are officer of the clocks as well
IS the watches, are you not?"
AYE, aye, sir!" said the officer of the
watch.
ii! |! What in the world makes you so
gotistical in expressing yourself? Why
on't you say yes, sir, like white MANI"
aid the Secretary.
Yes, sir. But / am sorry to say that it
7as necessary TO reef the pendulums Of all
ur clocks during the last gale, and they've {
ot been shaken out yet"
And what's all that banging for?'' said
he Secretary. "Is it naval engagement
I'VE are firing the customary salute of {
ineteen guns in your honor" said the '
Oh, you are. are you. Are there bullets t
any OF EN-? Are they pointed this way? r
don't like it. 1t makes me nervous. l shall r
ave that practice stopped. Commandant, a
tier this fire anvils or toy pistols, and save c
owder. Dear me, if Chester would only t
It me stay, how cheap l could run our v
avy. would abolish the ships altogether. I
'e've got hardly any now, and so far as j
lose are concerned that we have, we might q
we'll have none at all. Good morning, O