The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1881-02-23
The 9aiIg Argus.
ROCK ISLAND. DEMONSTRATIONS
All SOR is.

ALL SORTS.
Some men are never sweet on their
wives at q masquerade ball.
An old topper speaks Of bis companions
as his booze em friends Hartford jour
nal
The latest fern of lsziness is the man
Who advertises himself as an icicle shooter.
Lockport Union.
The fool hath said in his heart, ANY
one can write for the papers," Try 1t. O
tool, try it.-I oakers Gazette.
It's naughty hut it's su) ice. as the Their
mometer said when il got down to the
cipher Sentinel.
Times. Ard yet large numbe entertain
angels unaware.-Lockport Union.
In order to keep the cool out of your
houses and Offices, keep your stoyes and
furnaces thoroughly eoaled Albany Ar :
gus,
Nym Crinkle once said of one of Eli
Perkins lecture: 1T marks the limits Of
nsvigab!e nonsense; beyond is the open
polar sea.
A young lady sends US poem on deco
ration OF a pottery. We cant publish it
because it's too verse o'tile.
Tribune.
Let the debating societies wrestle With
this-Will the world ever come to an end,
or will the end come to the world Boss
ton Transcript.
Plump girls are said to be going out OF
fashion. IF this is true, the plumber the
girl the simmer her chance.-Philadel
phia Chronicle.
The pleasures Of winter arc multifarious;
and setting around with cold feet must be
punched in with the lot.-New Haven
Register.
An Iowa hen kills srattlesBakes. but the
New Haven Register thinks she had bet
ter stick to her legitimate business of lay
log eggs at present prices.
Time is the great healer. The men who
we're picking snow balls oat OF their ears
yesterday will have forgotten all about it
by July.-Detroit Free Press.
The liberty of the press has been assault
ed in Michigan. 1t 10 proposed by the
Legislature to make hugginR girl against
her will a penal offense. Tri-
bnne.
When youog man attempts to court O
fair damsel, and she tells him that she has
a supreme contempt" for him, should he
be arrested for contempt of court?"-
Toronto Grip.
A citizen of New Jersey, recently intro
duced to a newly married man, congratu
lated him warmly. and safd; 'Ah. those
Paterson girls make clever wives: I've
had three of EN-"
Well bet cent against &c at that not a
man who has blown cut the gas and been
sufocated during the past ten years ever
took and read his county newspaper.
Now is theItime to subscribe teubenviile
Herald.
A gentleman in Athens, Ga. claims to
be the owner of the whistle about which
Robert Burns wrote ballad. It's history
dates back to the time when Anne of Den
mark went 10 Scotland with James VI.
Proposals fer carrying tho mails. y
unused Miss Mary, aged thirty six, looking
uo from tbs newspaper. Then she cried
10 stormy tones, I'D like to know who's
to carry The females. breakfast Table.
gsThs widow of President James K 70 K.
OF Nashville, Tenn, has informed the
Tennessee Legislature that her advanced
age forbids hef receiving It's members in
a body. tut that individual visitors will
be weleun 10 her hoine at any time.
An insane physician lad just been dis
covered ct the South Ed. lie told his
pa tents that they were not very sick. and
went IL work and cured them OF what
title did ell lhem. III very quick time.
He was sent to the asylum. Boston Post.
The late Fernando Wood was six feet
high. spare, and AZ straight as an arrow.
His hair was gray; aud he wore mus
tache as white as snow. He had a pale
complexion Irregular features and blue
eyes In bis youth he was remarkable
young man. He was married three times.
and leaves wife and four children
Yesterday Mr. MuIhooIy took a news
paper man aside and asked him TO please
explain the meaning of the expires ion in
the Ausiin corresl ondence OF the Meas
The newspaper man read ever the para
graph and then asked: What is it you
don't understand" Well, sor, it rades.
the mem 5ers from Galveston sagely re-
markt d. Who the divil is Sagely2 |
kn w all the members from Galveston
for didn't they all want to secure ne in-
fluence in the election 3-but divi a wan
Of them was named Sagely. Calves on
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