The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1881-08-18
The Unfortunate Position Of q Bride.
groom.

They had terrible time at a wedding
DIP at Peterluma the other day, and
which only goes to show the smallest
drawback will sometimes take the stiff
fening out of the swellest occasion.
It seems that the ceremony was very
grand affair, indeed. There were eight
bridesmaids, and the church was crowded
from pit to dome, as the dramatic critics
would say. But when they got to the
proper place in the ceremony, and the
groom began feeling around for the
| ring, he discovered that it wasn't on
hand. After the minister had scowled
at the miserable wretch for awhile the
latter detected that the magic circlet had
slipped through hole in his pocket and
worked down into his boot. He COM
municated the terrible fact in whisper
| to the bride, who turned deadly pale
and was only kept from fainting by the
reflection that they would inevitably cut
the strings of her satin corset in case
she did.
"Why don't you produce the ring2"
whispered the brides big brother,
hoarsely, and feeling for his pistol, under
the impression that the miserable man
was about to back ont.
| 'sI can't. It's in my boot, explained
| the groom, under his breath, his very
hair meanwhile turning red with morti-
fication.
"Try and fish it out, somehow-hurry
upr' mumbled the preacher behind his
| book.
"ln try" gasped the victim, who was
very stout; and he put one foot on the
chancel rail, pulled up hisi trousers leg,
and began making spasmodic iabs for
the ring with his forefnger. The min
lister motioned to the organist to squeeze
| out few notes to fill in the time, while
q rumor rapidly went through the con-
gregation to the effect that telegram
had just arrived proving that the groom
had four wives living in the East al
| ready.
"f-I can't reach it" groaned the
half married man, in agony. cit won't
| come"
ssSit down and take off your boot.
YOU fool r. hissed the brides mother,
while the bride herself moaned piteous-
" and wrung her hands.
There was nothing left; 30 the suf-
ferer sat down on the floor and began to
wrestle with his boot which was natu-
rally new and tight, while fresh rumor
got under way to the effect that the
groom was beastly tight and insisted ON
pairing his corns.
As the boot came finally of, its crushed
wearer endeavored, unsuccessfully, TO
hide trade dollar hole in the heel OF
his stocking noticing which the parson,
who was q. humorous sort of sky-con-
tractor, said. grimly
"You seem to be getting married just
in time, my young friend.
And the ceremony proceeded with the
party of the first part standing on one
leg, trying to hide his well-ventilated
foot under the tail Of his coat, and ap-
propriately muttering "Darn itT At
short intervals.-.Sdn Fr0acisco Post.
Finding the Day Of the Week.
Divide the year by four, reject
the remainder, il any; add the Quotient
to the year, and to this sum add the
number of days from January of that
year to date, excepting leap year, when
add one less that number of days from
january to date, counting twenty-nine
days for February IN leap years; divide
the sum by seven, and if the remainder
be one the day is Sunday; if two, Mon
day three, Tuesday four, Wednesday;
five, Thursday six, Friday; Q, Satur-
day. This rule applies to any date from
1900 to 1899, N. s., let the remainder
one be Monday: two, Tuesday. etc.
For dates from 1900 to 2099, let the re-