Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1881-03-25
Advice to O Young Man.

older You will be seized with III ambi-
fion to serve your country III the hall.
of Congress. T. this end yon should
"egin now to acquire that polish and
easy elegance OF language which will
enable you to shine in debate. r '.d
the daily papsrs and thus fsmili.rIz-
yourself with the language AMI nxu-
uers OF the Americ.n legislator. Cut
out the IL sal report OF the great 6nAn-
cIal debate b-tween the Hon. MIR
Cieave- and the Hon. Mr.. Shark, that
it may DO to you a text book upon
monetary matters:
Fl ~. Mr.. Clraver-" In presenting
this bill for the issns Of 400 900 0OO
copper dollars per diem. Mr.. Speaker,
| AN moved to say"
HDu. Mr. Suark-" The honorable
geu,lmAu is dirty liar and dassen' t
TAX 1t up"
Hou. Mr.. CIeaver "Sir. Mr..
Speaker, If the honorable gentleman
doesn't take that back In two shakes of
u Sleeps tail. [ will kick the everlasting
stuff K right out Of him"
Toe Speaker =" Tue gentlemen must
be careful, Ill the heas Of debate, not TO
overstep the bounds of courtesy and
parliamentary usage"
II u. M. Su.rk-" Tho gentleman is
a lop cared sob of gun from wooden
shoe county, and he can't whip one
sida of me-"
Ii IN. MIR Cleaver-" Will the gentle
man step out from beh,nd Lls desk aud
put up his naueys? d nee to me, you
sucker. 1 only weigh pound"
Hon. Mr. Su-rk-" III slap your
mas y mouth. ,"u venomous old beast"
II N. Nj Clea,er-" Aw-w. shut up.
sh macy! W-.t are you Rlvin' us?
Hon. MIR GfO.ns, of Texas" Black
his -y.! HIT him IN the mouth
o her Lenorable gentleman, from
various States, Smear him one! Send
hlm one On the paste horn, for luck!
SIN ,ck him in the shoot."
II )u. M. Can Fl .nile, the speaker,
mildly" Tue honorable gentlemen
will please keep within the bounds Of
parliamentary C, ur'esy.'
IL ~ MIR. Cira er jumping up in the
air s"d cracking his heels together
- Whoop! kin chaw up and curry out
any sou of d thief between Chicago and
Carol Ii you don't believe it. smell of
my boots!'
Hon. Mr.. Shark" Hold me down
somebody! I'm the bad man from v
river district and l cat raw buffalo!
Where do you want to be hit first 2"
And just here, the police, on their
way to close u disorderiy house in tue
neighborIood, stepped In and closed
the debate.
From this page OF congressional his
tory. my son, you Can zee how to direct
your reading in order to acquire
sufficient knowledge Of financial mat
ters to participate in o debate on the
funding bill. 1t may be grand thing
to go to Congress-. won't discourage
you, my dear boy, il your ambition
leans in that direction. Still, so long
as you have an alternative open, 80 long
AS you can get steady situation as
cham bermaid in livery stable or clerk
ON u raft, wouldn't advise you to set
your heart on Congress. The American
people really do not have very much
respect for Congress, as q body. They
are always sorry to zee it in session.
They are always glad when it adjourns.
Individually, the members OF Congress
are, believe. good citizens, good men.
But for lot OF good raw material, my
boy, they can make the mesnest apgre-
gate when they get together.-Don't
worry about going to Congress. Telem-
achus. Go ia the mines, or join the
minstrels. Your parents will think
more OF you Burlington Hawkeye.