Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1881-11-25
f. u N

Oh! WHAT A MAN IA letter from
Wooster. Ohio, to the Cincinnati ''Enquir-
err says:
GA sensational and highly amusing story
is going the rounds in this community of
ludicrous episode, in which young Metho-
dist minister was victimiZed into the role
of leading character. Owing to the high
social standing of the parties concerned we
suppress the names, the general outlines of
the funny occurrence being as follows:
1.-TWO sprightly and very beautiful young
ladies have been visiting lady cousin llv-
ing in the country, not far from Wooster
These three young misses are of that age
which turns everything into fun and Eaerri-
ment. and were constantly playing practlcaI
jokes upon each other. All three occupied
room on tine ground floor, that which in
country parlance is termed the best room. ;
1.-THE two visiting young ladies on par
tlcular evening went to party in tie
neighbcrhood. About an hour after they
had left, the aforesaid young Methodist
minister called and craved nights lodg-
ing, which was, of course, granted, and as
ministers always have the best of every
thing, the reverend was assigned to the
best room.H
1.-THE young lady who had not gone to
the party was entrusted with the duty OF
sitting up for the absent ones and inform
ing them of the change of rooms. She
took up her post in the parlor. and, as the
night was sultry, sleep overlook her, and
she departed on an excursion to the land
of dreams.
ssAbout half-past eleven O'Clock the
sprightly cousins returned. and as it was
late they concluded not to disturb the
household, so they quietly stole into their
room through a low open window. By tie
dim light of the moon-beans, as they strug
gled through the curtains, the young la
dies were enabled to descry the outlines
of their cousin, as they supposed, enscon-
ced in the middle Of the bed. They saw
also pair of boots. The thought flashed
across their minds that their cousin had
set the boots in the room to give them
good scare. They put their heads togeth-
er and decided to turn the tables OF her.
Silently they disrobed. and stealthily as
cats took up their positions on each side
of the bed. At a given signal they both
Jumped into bed. one on each side of. the
unconscious divine. laughing and scream
ing, .sOh, what mani" giving the poor.
bewildered minister such promiscuous
hugglng and tussllng as few persons are
able to brag of in lifetime. The noise
of the proceeding awakened the sleeping
sentinel in the parIor and the old lady.
who was sleeping in an adjoining room.
and they rushed to the scene. explaining
the situation. There was one prolonged,
consolidated scream, and dash of muslin
through the door. and all was over.
1.-THE best of the joke was that the min
lister took it all in earnest, and would list
en- to no excuse or apology, but solemnly
folded his official robes about him and 81
lently stole away
Have you seen the new President
Yes, have seen the nice new President.
Does the nice new President know his
friends?
Yes, the nice new President knows his
friends-every time.
Does the nice new elegant President re-
member bis friends?
You can bet your sweet life the nice
new elegant President remembers all his
friends.
Does he remember his enemies
Yes, he remembers his enemies.
Does he remember them by mama?
He remembers them by name, solid.
What will the nice new elegant Pres
ident do for his friends?
He will reward them
And What will he do for his enemies
He will compel them to get up and dust.
-. Is he solid ?
He is solid.-C Courier Journal.
An opening: us there any opening here
for an Intellectual writer?" asked seedy,
red nosed individual Of aD editor. Yes,
my FRIEND" replied the latter. GA con-
siderate carpenter. foreseeing your visit.
left an opening for you. Turn the knob
to the right.''
A school-teacher asked ''What bird is
large enough to carry off man ?'' Nobody
knew; but one little girl suggested "a
lark And then she exclaimed :"Mamma
said Papa wouldn't be home until Monday
because he had gone off On lark"
A Maryland OK tried to toss baby car
riage and broke his neck. Anybody who
has ever found one of the things at the
head of the stairs in dark hallway, late
at night will believe this, and consider the
OK fool for attacking it.
An agricultural exchange offers some
advice on s'How to Tell Bad Egg,
Didn't read the article, but our advice
would be: If you have anything important
to tell bad egg, why break it gently.
$50 she refused you, did she ?'' asked
Pingry;; why didn't you press her. my
boy 7" s'Press her ~ exclaimed Brown
'she wouldn' let me get near enough for
that
A young man feels that he has not lived
in vain when he finds hispicture exhibited
in the showcase of photograph gallery
why don It you have some style about
you?" said the man who had looked along
mile of barbed fence for an entrance.
Woman was made after man, but the