The weekly miner. [volume] (Butte, Mont.) 1878-1881, 1881-04-26
SIDE DISHES.

The path OF duty-through the custom
house.
There are twenty-four cubic feet of loose
earth in a ton. |
When does a man impose upon himself? |
When be taxes his memory.
Burning the midnight toil-emptyIng the |
basket of rejected poems into the stove.
The editor of the Oil City Derrick claims
to have country seat. 1t is g. stump.
Missouri has five-legged mule which can
reach one octave further than the most ac-
complished pianist.
A burglar who was arrested the other night
while breaking into bank ssid he was only
making an opening for capital.
A backwoodsman, on hearing an eastern
bishop preach sermon in a frontier church,
without manuscript, said: He is the first of
them fine fellers that have ever seen who
could shoot without rest
A medical journal says garlic cures hydro
phobia. 1t can hardly do that: but it may
keep person from being bitten by dog, or
in any way approached by living creatures.
1t is said that love conquers all things; but
jumping toOthache, that knows its business,
and strictly attends to it, can for the time be-
ing make man forget that he ever loved at
all.
A Philadelphia society is wrestling with
the question, 'when man has his life in
sured tor 100000, is his wife justified in re-
fusing to prepare mustard plaster for him
when he is sieZed with sudden and severe
attack of the cramps?
"Setb," said Mrs. Spicer,"l wish you would
60 and see to the furnace; that Kate is putting
in coal as if she was firing a locomotive"
And when Splcer remarked that perhaps the
girl was a railway -cinder- Kate, Mrs. S. grew
warmer than ever.
'Have you seen my daughters baby,?" in
qured fond grandmother of a friend. so,
yes; but it is so very small,'' was the reply.
"But that was to be expected, for you know
don't you-that she was attended by a ho-
meopathic physician"
The Bodie Free Press is going to Introduce
"new feature into journalism, viz: Re-
ception Department. An addition is being
made to the Press building for the purpose
of accommodating the reception editor. His
duty will be to entertain visitors, receive and
agree to suggestions as to how the paper
ought to be run, and hunt up periodicals for
exchange fiends. Proposals for filling the po-
sition of reception editor will be received at
the office up to and including April 1st.
"It's all right to say that George Washing
ton never told lie," remarked thoughtful
mining superintendent to-day. 81 don't say
he did, mind you; but he lived in time
when that wasn't hard for man to accom-
plish. If George was alive now, and running
my mine, and had to write weekly letter re-
porting progress, I'm Inclined to think he d
wrap Grape around his little hatchet and pu,
it away where the historian of the future
wouldn't be likely to find it,"
Some one who has lately been in Chicago
has written for Louisville paper the follow
ing rhymes, which have more feet than most
''pOems:"
Lift them up tenderly,
Handle with care;
| Fashioned SO Slenderly,
beautiful pair!
Look at those number tWelveS,
Made from two OX-hides, the truth must tell;
Made fer a young girl, a Chicago belle.
How were her fathers feet?
How were her mothers?
: How were her sisters feet?
, How were her brothers.?
What has this maiden done
That she should merit it?
Was it a judgment.
Or did she inherit it?
, Alas! for the rarity of Christian charity,
Scarcer than pearls!
And o it is Ditiful to see a whole city full
OF bg-footed girls.
Look at the maiden's shoe:
Lock at those shoe laces'
Laces like clothes-lines
, Pass through the holes;
And the droves of horned cattle in passin
Look at her brogans. then paw up the ground
, Relieving all the while, knowing full well
- = The leather required for Chicago belle.