Smyrna times. [volume] (Smyrna, Del.) 1854-1987, 1881-01-12
" HOLE no. 1872
Curlant Comment
PHILADELPHIA INNING NEWS.

drcr> ed 1t.
On" hundred to orr rha, he world y.on,,
com" to an end tins year.
ISL sill probably be- known a. the ye,r
OF 'h" great business boom 1t looks that
way now.
! A prophet is AWAY honored in his own
c"u"'r'-'''"r lie has been dead hundred
years or So
! Lay m"n Garnet break the s,bh,tb
" hen they work at all it is always labor
OF necessity
Ill" Co'grrss:onal Rsc,ra for the pas, year
cot $4,000 1t comes high, Lut the REQ.
| pie nut have Il.
MN may lie like riano--uprigbt vet
not grand.-N Y HcraM He NAV also bs
grind YET not square.
l;Is almost as dangerous 10 he a land.
lord IN Ireland as United States reyenue
collector in Tennessee.
When Congressman gets sick the doc.
'oiS sometimes are at loss to know
""elh"r 10 call it malaria or rhumalism.
Inc averag" man will believe ten cent
Thermometer which he owns in preference to
ten dollar one owned by some one else.
Chicago ladies who have got divorces
IT 'Rl three or -four husbands need not ex
pct Sarah Berhhardt to associate with
t4em.
1t Is thought that ice will be very high
next SIMMER. fhe weather has hem 80
coli that tue crop has been damaged by
frost.
Fennor is about the only man who really
Likes tins coiI wave He would rather
nave been lr"z"u to death in II than not
have il arrive on time.
1t is just eighty year since tho formal
union o. ireland and Great Britain. Like
tn' Chds' Srragu- wedding il was celetra.
TED with great festivities.
II i not every man who can become the
husband OF handsome woman, and cor.
"rn'er IN one week; hut Gov. Porter Of
lndIana. j. an exception.
It takes a lively imagination to find com.
fort in The reflection tuat in less than five
months people vii be wlying tue lelspira.
ton from THEN heated tr1w<.
The way to bring on a thaw is 10 cover
the ICY pavement with ashes The sun
will th'n come out blazrng hot and ths
p..ement Will have to be washed.
One Of the mlsforIunes of royalty is that
everybody knows the exact date at which
an addition is made to the family. Tie
f. Princess OF Wales is obliged to own up SO.
An advertisement in the Lc4gcr reads:
Lost The residence Of john Story"
NJ. Story should know enough to chain up
t hi, residence il it is ever returned to him.
!. A deaf and dumb boy in Oregon fell
\ from a tree and recovered both senses.
Inmates of deaf and dumb asylums should
hereafter hire themselves out Tor putting
up picnic swings.
! Tne highest salary over paid in Roston
=, outside OF journalism was that Of J. Wiley
: E tmund. who 1t tue time of his death was
+, c@ivinG $4,000 per annum as treasurer of
the Pacific Mills.
= Twenty-seven murders have been com.
e milted in San Francisco within fifteen
1t months, and nobody has banged. Does
% the Iloodum Constitution prohibit punish
b ment for murder?
ii wedding was postponed in Berks
county on account of the weather. They
preferred to ne married on Choose day
HlrriSJTg Telegraph. They should have
:, go, married on Weddin's day.
" Young ninnies who write to weekly
r newspapers, saying that they are in love
a with two men and do not know which to
r. choose, should always give their name, so
le that both would have the same chance-to
IN escape.
Apropos of this Christmas season a cor
-, respondent shrewdy remarks: "W When
>, see "a man OF mature years come twice tor
Il help Of very rich plum pudding say to
myself, that is a DOCTOR and am gsner.
= ally right"
RI Rev. Henson. the original " Uncle Tom"
e' is now living. at the aye OF ninety. tive, in
RS Camden, Kent county, Canada. He can.
y not raise his arms to his head, because they
'r' were crushed by a rail in the hands of his
he old master.
n Signor FIorelli thinks he can complete
,a the excavation at Pompeii in about seventy
nv years by spending $1,000 900 on his Dig
tn gIus. Should he die Getore he gets through
al the work will De continued by his wife,
wno will never be older than %.
The German emperor has made a doctor
- count for bringing him 10 his S0th year,
al and oft, rs to make the count prince il he
shall bring him To his goth. As the doctor
h is am litious he will do his best to keep the
emperor from taking medicine.
10 Mrs. Ellen Campbell. for many years
superinten,ient OF the North Carolina Deaf
and Bind Institute, has been dismissed for
=" indorsins JuIgp Tourgee's hook. " A FOOLS
Errand." ia private letter to a Northern
;.. ant