The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1881-07-23

tNFOHtctc.
Baby new TO earth and sky,
Soon as born begins TO cry,
Day and night does baby yell,
And makes its daddy mad as-well,
Mad as-hades.
A contemporary commenting on" Clara Bells,
the fashion writer, statement that "during the
coming season ladies will wear nothing but
iongitudinally striped hose" observes, 1.-THE
printer must have overlooked her copy describ-
ing the other apparel"
Secretary OF State Dement, has the thanks OF
the FREE TRADER for copy OF the laws Of the
last Illinois legislature We find their perusal
as entertaining and promotive to somnolency az
the contents OF patent inside newspaper"
Elgin has six big coal yards, and with this
number our people ought to be able to keep
warm next wiuter.-Eign Adyocate.
Our experience is that a barn yard is warmer
than coal yard, yet we doubt If fifty would keep
4 town as big as Elgin warm.
1t was a youth Of modest purse
Said soft unto maid:
(which would you rather tackle next,
lee cream or lemonade"
Across the maiden's rosy cheek
Fast fits a winning smile:
"l'll order some OF BOTH" she said.
Heaven help the young mans pile"
Even at this early date it Is charged that both
Blaine and Window have their presidential light
ming rods up for 1884, while Secretary Lincoln is
accused of having little Itching that way, and
Edmunds of having presidential bee In his
bonnet, and John Sherman OF having fever
that way, and John Logan Of having caught the
infection.
The last aesthetic folly to while away the sum.
mer afternoons among the langudy fashionable
is the blowing of soap- bubbles with decorated
pipes, in diaphanous costumes. 1t is an exceed
ing becoming pastime, admits display OF
rounded arms, variety Of pose and gesture.
A maid, as by court records doth appear
Whom $4,000 made 80 dear,
Unto her waiting lover sternly said
"Forego the weed before we 20 10 we'd
For smoke, take fame; I'll be the flames bright
fsnner;
To have your Anna, give up your Havana"
The wretch, when thus she brought him to the
scratch,
Lit his cigar and threw away the match.
That charming little soubrette artist, Lolita,
when last in Kansas City, evidently effected the
capture OF either the heart OF brains OF Eugene
Fields, OF the Kansas City Times, who thus para
phrases Poe's BELLS" in that sheet:
Look at Lolita with her legs
Able legs
What world Of merriment In those taper pegs
How they tinkle, tinkle, tnkle
In their mix of might and mite,
While the spangles that o'ersprnklc
All her stockings seem to twinkle
With crystalline delight
Keeping time, time, time,
In an acrobatic rhyme
To the kick kickapulation that's as light as
though on eggs,
BY the legs, legs, legs, legs,
Legs, legs legs
By the Juggling and the wrggling Of the legs
''Father Of the Grl"-Your best plan is to start
TO 20 to bed, the next time George calls, the
same as usual. Let your boots drop so he will
be sure to hear them. Then cock yourself up in
an arm char with pitcher Of lemonade, and
wait. The best view OF the comet IS to be had
about two A. NJ. AT that hour walk quietly out
on 'he front porch. George will try TO hustle the
girl off his knee. You don't want TO let on that
you notice this at all, but just say that you have
long noticed their affection for each other, and
while Mary has always been the family pet, you
know that at some time she must leave the old
homestead, and sever the ties that bind her to a
mothers love and to fathers wstchful care. II
the young man can successfully get away after
this KIND OF talk let him 20. He Is certain TO be-
come pirate, or something like that, and you
wouldn't want him in the family.--Graphie
A lady who occupied cottage at Mount Des
ert last summer had box made for her iewelry
in imitation Of bible. While absent one day
some one entered her house and carried
of her silverware, but her box Of jewelry was
undisturbed
some philanthropist has said that u man who
truly loves horse cannot be wicked The New
Orleans PeayrDe thinks he mus: be in the wrong;
for Texas jalls are full Of men who loved horses
not wisely but too well. But they we're other
peoples horses.
VIRGINIA LOVE SCENE.
She. Don't put your arm around nv neck:
You'll rumple all my rufiics
He. Then let me kiss you without force
And thus avoid all scufles.
She. There is 20 sweetness In kiss
Unless by force tits taken.
He know It; therel Oh, this is bliss,
This style OF OSCILLATION.
She. Ny rufiies you have rumpled, love.
And put me 10 fuster.
lie. oh, never mind; Tllfx II, dove,
For Im q readjuster.
--isomervae Journal.