Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1881-10-27
From Mike Dodson.

SUBURBS ov ARKADY, Ocktobur IS, 1881.
Mister Axe
hav ben wantin tn rite tn yu fur sum time,
but sumthin haz alwsze perventid. But now,
as the wether IL gittin kolder, an kan cit bi
the fire an fele kumfertabil, l ma rite sum
mour.
The Suburbs ar furishin, with the excep-
shun that Their IL no sumner borders at the
tavern-Mister Mase and Mister Munro bein
oil that IL left ov the sumner gaety.
The Kurnel's waturme.un patch haz gon
intu wintur kwarters.
We feer the Suburbs vii mis- the hoop fack-
teries under the Management ov Mr.. Dicksun;
whu, az sumo az Mr.. Fletchur took kuntrol Ov
the jale, muved ovur Their, and haz borcid
Their evar sense. However, he IL not kept in
klose konfinemint fur he Gums ovur here 3 or
evenins durin the weak. The Kurnel SEE
ther il yung ladi in the kase. Cess thar
H.
Mister Tomsun, ov Saynt Louis, haz bot the
Jiles Russil farm, ajoinin Arkady, an Il goin
tn make it hiz sumner resedense. We ar glad
ov the adishun tn the Suburbs, an welkum
him an famili intu our midst. He liz hne
jentelman. We lern that he haz got Mister
Kox, ov pedler-bouncin noterity, az man-ov
oll-wurk, whu IL tn look aftur the plais, an
drv up the kows, an ride ovur tn toun tn
konsult lawyers tn Sc what he kan do toards-
bouncing the Kurnel. (Gess he wants the
Kurneps wintur supli ov watermeluns.) The
Kurnel perteli tole him tn nuve slo, az thar
mite be brakers shed, an he mite git fowl ov
em. Huray fur Mister Kox! (N. B.-Wil hav
tn koll'hm Mister now, az he IL ovurscer oV
the Russil FARM He rides that ponce around
an sits up az stra te az If hiz bruther had cum
frum Kalaforny, an brot the muney tn by the
IrOntun Mil an tn start bransh ov the Bote-
mems Savin Bank fur the purpus ov payin the
ralerode bois. Agin, huray fur Mister kox
He IL wun notch hire than he wus at the tav-
ern, when I rote tn yu the last time. du
Ink tn Sc yer asiti rise tn its reward. hope
he vii send the RKJIsTUR sum waturmeluns
when he gets the kurnel's wintur krap geth-
erd.
Altho Irontun IL tryin hard .tu git ahed on
the Suburbs, must konfess it IL maxim sum
progre IS in that direxshun. The streets ar
fine, an konsidirable than korduroy rode,
an almost az sgud az the kounti rode. The
Academy ov Musk il nearin konpleshun, an
IL destind tn max the stockholders welth az
az-wel, / don't no what! 1t IL an honor tn
the toun; and viii be wun ov the sites ov this
butifui Valiy that the senery-luving travler
will be sure to &c when huntin fur natural ku-
riosetees "Akademy ov Musick l"-how wei
and appropriately MANNED! "Akademy,"a plais
ov edukashun; or, plais tuAlern. The passer
ma lern sumthin frum that bildin. ''Ov Mu-
sick''--the rufe, havin a CRATER arear ov skware
feet, viii afford the best. plais fur the kats ov
the Vslly tn kongregate fur musckal trainin
an advancement. Toun property viii advanse
fifth pur sent in the immediate visiniti.
Then the Skule Hous IL abowt redi fur
swinzin the hickory or rattan (owin tn the
prejudise ov the teecher), and the teechin the
yuug idee tn shute-spit bals-an sa "Thc boy
stude on the burnin dek," &c. 1t IL purity
bildin-only it IL bakside befour; or, as the
Sity Keunsil IL improvin the stretes, Name
strete may be muvd ovur tn the ally, an then
it viii cum oil rite. The rumes ar oil painted
creme: suppose it IL tn sho the Children that
tina ar creme. Or IL it tn let the skolars no
that the Skuls Direkters left Their mark IN
that wa! Or wus it tn git ahed ov the kon-
tracktors?-kause CREME pant il wurth thre
times az mulch a z eny uther koler. But 1t IL
rong tn be malishus tn that extent, when it liz
SO bad fur the helth ov the skolars! KILN
the CHILDREN in that wa liz tn bad Sum ov the
Skule Board haint got no Children, and sum
ma hav tn mani; but it IL not rite tn surve the
Children in eny stitch wal Don't yu no, that
when q fire IL made in them rumes, an the
pant gifts warmd up, that the pizen in the
creme vii cum out, an the Children will brethe
it al becum pizend bi $40 degreses 1t IL tn
horribaI tn think abowti Sumbodi OF to OBJ
jeckt.
kant rite no more, but must SIT doun an
ponder ovur this cereus subjeckt.
Horrible MIKE DoDsoN
P. 81 wud sugjist that the internal ar
fragments ov the Afrikan Skule Hous be