The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1881-07-06
STAR ROUTES.
Puck Explains the Dorsey Combinations by
q Few Abstracts.

the Star Route Contracts that We feel we
shall be doing our readers a favor by giving
them q brief abstract of some of the more
important contracts supposed to have been
sublet by the dorsey Combination" We
therefore present, in condensed form, the
facts in several interesting cases. A brief
examination of these will conclusively prove
to the unbiased reader that Messrs. Dorsey
and Brady are much maligned men, whose
services in behalf OF the country have met
only with the inadequate reward of contume-
ly and SANDER.
The following condensed statements NAV
be relied upon implicitly. They have been
carefully edited by a distinguished politician,
who has omitted all irrelevant matter which
might tend to prejudice the public mind
against the distinguished patriots il charge Of
the Star Service"
Route No. Al, IA From Skowhegan to
Salt River, including the intermediate station
OF South Sandusky Corners.
Distance.-2, 694 miles, going around by
Athabasca Lake and Milwaukee.
Service.-Once every campaign.
lime Scheduled Gay.
Bond, with Bid.-$11,2 79.57.
Bidders.-23, all unlmportant, except Con-
tractor Claude Daval, to whom the contract
was awarded at 800, 600.
Remarks.-This route was established for
the benefit Of defeated Presidential candi-
dates, and its value and usefulness were tes-
tilted to by Chairman W. Ell. Barnum, who
had to ship q whole ticket by this route in
November, 1880.
CASE II.
Route No. 800, 923.-From Hoboken, NJ.
10 GOWanus. l.. l..
Distance. 81 miles, including circuit
arOund Light Ship.
Service-When they felt ikeit.
Time Schedule. One week, including w
days at Coney Island
Bond, with Bid.-$0.27. .
Bidders. -None, except c. 4. ?. Kidd, OF
the Marine Service. Awarded contract at
St31, 900.
Remarks.-This service was eminently ne
ceesary to the we'll being of the country.
The claim that it carried no mails is absurd.
Many New jersey men are IL the habit OF
going to Coney Island, and there INDUCING il
intoxicating drinks to an iDjudicious extent
a habit which those who have their coun-
try's good at heart cannot too severely repro
bate. When they are reported by the Coney
Island bar-keepers as able to contain no more.
they are shipped by the police to Brooklyn,
where it Is their custom to assemble at Cow
anus Bay and gaze into the pellucid water,
while waiting for letters from home contain
ing remittances.
Route No. II, 1882, 911.-From Smithville
junction, ILL.,, to Smithyille corners, LII,
Distance mile.
Service Once every six months.
Time Schedules hours, stopping for
drinks.
Bond, with Bid.-$57.
Bidder.-Richard Turpin. Got contract
at 81, 900.
Misunderstanding to the alarming growth
Of heterophe1ny in this country. it is becom-
ing more and more likely that persons intend
ing TO direct their letters to Smlthvllle juno
ton should direct them to Smithville Corners.
This has not happened yet, but may at any
time. It is therefore highly advisable that a
service be maintained between these two inn
portant termini.
Route No. 3,O11.-Timbuctoo to Bloody
GuIch.
Distance.-6,72 9 miles.
Service -Blennially.
Time Schedule.-Two years.
Bond with Bid.-$3333, 1888 .33.
B!dders.-K Won Moor & Co. bid lowest,
out of 1913 bidders, and were awarded the
contract, at $50, 900.
Remarks. The man who raises his impl-
Gus voice against the preservation OF TINS
route is a subverter Of religion. This
route is the only means of communication
which we have with the benighted heather
of the interior OF Africa, who are in urgent
need Of pocket-handkerchiefs with moral
pictures upon them. The allegation that the
route has never been used is untrue. Last
wear one of commissioner Of Agriculture LIE
Dues samples passedsover 1t; and it is unfair
to assert that the said sample did not reach
it's destination, until it has been returned in
due course of time.
These few instances may serve, we think,
to turn the current Of popular feeling In ia
vor Of two self-sacrifcing martyrs, whose
sweet patience under persecution ought ere
this to nave to have touched the hearts OF
their inhuman enemies. And if these IN
stances don't, we have more.
--@aD +ta@ges - SnH--
Two New Work. M~aGmnfes.
jim Kcene, by the way, is quite 8 charac-
ter. He is a small, dark, bilious man, with
q large head and q short beard, and an ex-
preston of perpetual headache. This ex-
preston happens to be o fair index OF his
condition, for he is hardly ever free from the
bilious influence. By birth he is 8 cockney,
though he ia about as un-English q person in
appearance as ever came from the bounds of