The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1881-08-18

5000 memberships, Christian commu-
nifty of 5000, schools, .ispensaries,
colleges, thousands of religious works,
TRANSACTIONS of Scripture, aud the cir
culation OF a Christian Newspaper in all
parts of the Empire. Ths Bible has
been admitted into the higher schools,
and Christian calendas has been
adopted.
Bicycle Exercise.
"Now, my dear" said Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke, hurrying into his wife's room,
eff you'll come down in the yard I've
got pleasant surprise for YOU"
what is it?'' asked Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke. "What have you got, a horse?"
II know! It's new parlor carpet.
That's what it isl
.No, it isn't, either. I said it was
something like horse, that is, it goes
when you make it. Guess again"
ais it paint for the kitchen walls?"
asked Mrs. Spoopendyke, innocently.
"No, it amt, and it amt hogshead
of stove-blacking. nor it amt set of
dining-room furniture. nor it amt
seven gross of stationary washtubs.
Now guess again"
"Then it must be some lace curtains
for the sitting-roOm windows. Isn't
that just splendid?" And Mrs. Spoop-
endyke patted her husband on both
cheeks and danced up and down with
delight.
"1t's bicycle, that's what it is"
growled Mr.. Spoopendyke. IL bought
r for oxcro;co ond L m crnino IN ride II
Go 19r e down and is eee 70 rue H.
"Well, ANTI glad," CALCULATED Mrs.
Spoopendyke. "You ought to have
more exercise, and if there's exercise
in anything it's in bicycle. DO let's
see it." ..
Mr.. Spoopendyke conducted his wife
to the yard and descanted at length on
the merits of the machine.
"Iu few weeks will be able to
make mile a minute,:' he said, as he
steadied the apparatus against the
clothes-post and prepared to mount.
Now you watch me go to the end of
this path"
He got foot into one treadle and
went head first into flower patch, the
machine on top, with a prodigious
crash.
Hadn't you better tie it to the post
until you get on?" suggested Mrs.
Spoopendyke. ...,~-..
leave me alone, will ye?' demand
ed Spoopendyke, struggling to an even
keel. I'm doing most of this myself.
Now you hold on and keep your mouth
shut. 1t takes little practice, that's
ALL"
Mr.. Spoopendyke mounted again and
scuttled along for four or five feet, and
Hoped over on the grass plat.
''That's Splendid commended his
wife. You've got the idea already. Let
me hold it for you this time" go.
elf you've got any extra strength
you hold your tongue, will YEP" growled
Mr.. Spoopendyke. sit don't want any
holding. It amt alive. Stand back
and give me room. now.''
The third trial Mr.. Spoopendyke am
bled TO the end of the patch and went
down all in heap among his flower
pots.
..That's just too lovely for any
thing!" proclaimed Mrs. Spoopendyke.
You made raore'n a mile a minute,
that timer
"Come and take il orr reared Mr..
Spoopendyke. "Help me up! Dod-
CAST the bicycler' and the worthy gen.
tleman struggled and plunged like q
whale in shallow water. :sH 1r
Mrs. Spoopendyke assisted in right
ing him and brushed him off. a. ae +
IL know where you make your mis-,
take" The little wheel ought to go
first, like buggy. Try it that way go
ing back" 80 R..*
"Maybe you can ride this bicycle
better than I camp howled Mr.. SpOop-
endyke. ."You know all about wheels!
What you need now is lantern in your
mouth and ten minutes behind time to
be the City Hall clock. If you had q
bucket of water and handle you
make steam grind. stone! Don't you
see the big wheel has got to 60 firstP''
Eyes, DEAR" murmured Mrs. Spoop-
endyke, .'but 1 thought if you prac-
ticed with the little wheel at first, you
wouldn't have so far to fall
"Who fellP'' demanded Mr.. Spoop-
endyke. didn't you see me step off?
l tripped; that's all. Now you just
watch me 20 back"
Once more Mr.. Spoopendyke started
in, but the big wheel turned around and
and looked him in the face, and then
began to stagger.
SLook Quit" squealed Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke.
Mr.. Spoopendyke wrenched away
and kicked and struggled, but it was
of no avail. Down he came, and the
bicycle was hopeless wreck.
"What'd ye want to yell for?" he
shrieked. Couldn't ye keep your
measly mouth shutP What dye think
y'are, anyhow, fog-horn? Dodgast
the measly bicycle!'' and Mr.. Spoopen.
dyke hit it kick that folded him up
like q bolt of muslin.
"Never mind, my DEAR" consoled
Mrs. Spoopendyke, Pm afraid the ex-
ercise was too violent, anyway, apd I'm
rather glad you broke it."
IL s'pose So" snorted Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke. "There's sixty dollars gone"
Don't worry. love. I'll 60 without
the carpet and the curtains, and the
paint will do well enough in the kitch-
On. Let me rub you with arnica.''
But Mr.. Spoopendyke was too deeply
hurt by his wife's conduct to accept
any office at her hands, preferring to
punish her by letting his wounds smart
rather than to get well, and thereby rp-'
/ lieve her Of any anxiety she brought on
herself by acting SO outrageously under
the circumstances, -BrooElyn Eagle.