davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1881-07-20

A gentleman recently provoked one-armed
organ grinder by asking il he was a survivor
of the late war. "Why, you fool,' exclaimed
the irate musician, "don't you see that sur
yiyed2 Do act as though | was killed in
the war %
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1881-07-20

A farmer on being asked to write testi-
mony for patent clothes wringer, produced
the following II bought your clothes
wringer and am hugely pleased with 1t.
bought jag of wood which proved too green
and unfit to burn ran the whole load
through your wringer, and have used the
wood for kindling wood ever since." 10
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1881-07-20

Is in its effects mild in its action IL does not
blister and yet penetrating and powerful reach
any deep seated pain or to remove bony growth
any other enlargement If used for several days. such
spayns, splnts eurbs, callous, sprans swelings,
any lameness and all engagements of the joints and
or limbs, or rheumatism in and for any purpose
for which lnment is used for and beast. 1t is
known to be the best linimeut for used,
acting mild and yet certain In its effects IL Is used full
strength with perfect safety at all of the year
Send address for Illustrated Circular, which think
gives positive proof of its virtues No remedy has
met with such npqualied success, to knowledge,
for beast as we'll as man.
Price 81 per bottle. bottles for S. All druggists
have IL or get il for YOU IL will be sent to any
address ON receipht of price by the proprletors.
DIR. b. j, KENDALL 4 CO.,
aas.4 sEnoshur ph Falls. Vermont.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1881-07-20

Properly referred. Neighbours pretty
dauchter-How much is thata yards ORA
pers son desperate spoons on her)-only
one kiss. N. d. I will take three yards /;
grandma will pay-Boston Transcript
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1881-07-20

A strange astronomical phenomenon is
seen in the fact that when the irate father
takes down his trunk strap there are liable to
be spots on the son.-Losoel5 Citisea.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1881-07-20

The telegraph company is run on tick the
fire department is governed by a ring, and
the printing Office is always putting up jobs.
--Omaha Sunday Item.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1881-07-20

Letters are very devout. A great many Of
them go to Mass every day-Pha. Nesos.
A large number of them go from Mass. to
Gin, and some straight to Rouen. = YaOc0b
Strauss.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1881-07-20
COMBINATION.
Is Pirst-Class Stores in One Square,
Bet MARKET & CHESTNUT, on SECOND ST.
Below List of Business Reliability
Diversity of Stock for Convenience Locality Country Buyers
cannot be excelled in Philadelphia 'sa#t 1865
why We Combine our
Advertisements. E,

We combine in order
to compete. BY pool
ing our advertisements,
we can afford to give
that prominence to our
advertis nts that
would be out of the
question were we to adj
vertise Individually.
Again, we combine
for the reason that we
are TIL orough ly ac-
quaintedwith those with
whom we combine, hav-
ing been for years their
n sig hbors. and can,
with out the slightest
hesitancy, recommend
each and every one to
our patrons.
-aH r.4 q
Finally, we combine
for the. reason that by
so doing we can afford
to give the purchaser
the benefit of what is
saved in advertising on
sales, which should to
them be one of the best
reasons for giving US a
call, as under any cir
CumStanCeS we can sell
as cheap as any of our
competitors, and united
we cannot be undersold.
j We unite in calling
the attention of our pa
irons and the Public
generally to the advan-
tages to be derived from
accepting the invitation
here extended them, =
Condensed, you will
find nearly everything
you want, and we know
at prices as low, if not
lower, than can be OBJ
tanned elsewhere. We
each individually most
cordially unite in re-
commencing the other
to our patrons.
1t is no selfish motive
that prompts us, but a
sincere desire for the
Public veal, in which
our patrons are invited
to participate. m
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1881-07-20

These are the times when pic-nics begin to
boom. And the realistic chrome Of the young
man and the raspberry pie rises before our
vision like a dream -Saoeely.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1881-07-20

We know a lady who never hurries her
dressmaker. She waits until the neighbors
get through with her. This lady, by the
way, is the best posted on village news of
any person in town.-Bost. Transcript.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1881-07-20

Speaking of metals, printers zinc win turn
dry goods into gold. There's alchemy for
you.-Marathoa Independent
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1881-07-20

"What are the worst results Of the civil
war? ' cried an orator. "Widows,n shouted
Jones, who had married one.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1881-07-20
KendalI's SPAWN Cure on
Human Flesh.

PATTEN's MILLS, WASH. Co, N. Y, Feb. 81, 1878.
II. j. KENDALL, N. d.: Dear S6'-The particular
case on which used your Spawn Cure malignant
ankle sprai ofsixteen months Standing 4 had tried
many things, but in vain Your SPAWN Cure put the
foot to the ground again and for the first time since
hurt. in natural position For family liniment IL
excels anything we ever used. mss go
Yours truly,
M 80 REV. NJ. p, BELL, y
Pastor NJ. E. Church. Patterns Mills N. Y
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1881-07-20

His arm steals gently round her waist,
He calls her dear and love,
His birdie, darling, sweetest enc,
His pet, his turtle dove.
But suddenly he draws his arm,
His screams make horrid din;
lie Rugged not only his turtle dove,
But also terror-pin.
Boston Transcript
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1881-07-20

n n q a week in your own town SIS OUTFIT free No
&sAsAe risk Reader If You want business at VIII on
NFkNh persons OF either make great nay all
eJtTVT the amcthay work Write for ia FticaIaFs 10
IL. HALLETq 4 Co.. Portland. Maine je. 23.-iy
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1881-07-20
Take III office

A IL persons indebted to the firm Of Heath & Iiol-
IN eollbe IRE requested 10 call and settle on or he
fore December LIST next after that date all unsettled
accounts will be placed IN other hards forcoeeton
Sept. 1st isso-tf.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1881-07-20

$4,000: ' g g: - !:
N ~ - we'll men. Many make
more than the amount stated
above. Noone can failto make money fast ANY one
can do the work, on make from 50ots. 70 50 an
hour b. devothg 70 Y evenings and spare time to the
business IT costs nothing 70 try the business. Nothing
like il for money making ever offered before Business
pleasant and strictly honorable Reader IL you want to
lie, send your address and win send you l par
tcplars and private terms free samples worth s. also
Addres GEORGE sTINsoN & Co. Portland Maine.
July O. lS79.-iy.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1881-07-20

90 gE : = =
sg5 ( 2 So
ss'zszksz2gSIa
81 S4ggi5555 : s
: 27 s. nsEa I
9 e. & 81
q sag ~
s gg44s
s ssy2p s5z.s
Egg G5g Es q a
gss Sc 9 E ~
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1881-07-20
Kendall's SPAWN Cure

ASHLAND, scHuY1KILL Co. PA, June 8d 1890
DIR. Il. j. KENDALL & Co., GENTS "A case of spayin
that came under my observation entirely cured by
one bottle of your KendalPs Spawn Cure, and the
Horse sold afterwards for two hundred dollars. e ~
-"The Druggist. CHAs. II. BARNARD.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1881-07-20
III CAancery of Neso JERSEY.

In Cbancery of Neso Jersey.
To Annie NJ. Grant BY virtue Of an order ofthe
Court of Chaneery Of New Jersey, made the day of
the date hereof in cause wherein James Grant is
petitioner and you, the said Annie Grant defend
ant, you are required to appear and Plead demur or
twentythrd day q May next that in default thereof
such decree be made against the Chancellor shall
think equitable and just The said petition is filed
against You for divorce from the bonds of matrmony
Dated March %, fSsi. Atst WV sf
G. Ass&3C. III. SEILLAfAN, it1ss
March cost Solicitors Of Complainant
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1881-07-20

AN EXPLANATION.
Her lips were so near
That-what else could do?
You'll he angry, / fear
Wen, can't make il clear,
Or explain ii to you,
But---her lips were so near
That-what else could do?
--.Ssi6aers Md9aziae.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1881-07-20

Some men are never more possessed of a
devil than when they are self possessed.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1881-07-20

A great many pious people are like the old
cathedrals in one particular; viz, their dim
religious light.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1881-07-20
Statement Made

JOHN q, JENNF, ,JustIce of the Peace
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1881-12-06
GENERAL NOTES.

A touching scene was witnessed one evening
last week IN Boston concert hall. L. W. Locke, the
song writer ana singer had just sung and whistled
We're marching on 10 Richmond" when n soldier came
forward and took his hand, saying: heard you sing
| shall never forget it,"
One of the causes of the deaths from yellow
fever in NewOrleans is thought be the decayed and
rotten timber in private houses and public buildings 70
meet this danger the Common Council recently ordered
the City surveyor 20 investigate the OF as
preseryatiye Of wood and preventive Of disease.
The large amount of ice gathered last winter
the Hudson River lavishy used during the sum
mer. Such immense quantity was consumed that
TO their surprise the chief ice companies find
their houses nearly ali empty. Preparations making
to begin the harvesting Of ice at an early day.
Boston is troubled over the probable action
Of Congress upon the proposition that to be presented
to it, to discontinue the CharlestOwn Navy Yard and sell
the property for railroad termni and other commercial
purposes. The Yard, which established In 1900,
covers more than so acres Of ground and the Of
it would undoubtedly benefit Boston IN several TIM
pOrant respects 1t would add largely to the taxable
property OF the city and it would render possible the
construction Of the longwishedor bridge to East Bos
ton the other hand Il would nhict some loss upon
the social ana Industrial interests of the city and destroy
an interesting landmark OF past generations. LOal Op-
position tO the sale the Yard however, will probably
be based upon other than sentimental grounds :.
To the Literature of cranks" may be added
some curious statistics recently compiled in England.
showing the extent OF mental alteration anohg tho
members OF various professions and trades cOun-
try Among the 1924 civil engineers OF England. last
year. "a became insane The unhappy fate befel
10 Of 5S0i painters and souptors only 25 of $1,000
architects and contractors 35 OF 694 cergymen Of the
Established Church; 1l5 of 2377s masons bricFlayers
and stonecuters 1872 Of lO6s24 painters GLACIERS and
papcrstainers and III Of 624 carpenters Only tho
cnNably small numbcTOf l. of permanent insanity
were reported among the 1918 authors, journalists
reporters and traDslGtOrs male and female OF the King
dom.
Those who are prone to stake their money
at Sheepshead Bay and at Jerome Park on what they
consider winners" will be interested in facts
compiled by writer in Inc ST. JdmeSs Gazette in regard
to the betting during the past racing in England
Although the system" OF backing first fayOrtes for
the great of year has been almost superseded
by that of following some particular jockey, there
still few who cling TO the ancient practice, and 10
generally happens that the balance is in their favor
This year. for instance the investment OF $50 upon the
fayOite in each OF the twenty-five great races would
have resulted IN net gain OF $50; while IL an equal
had been invested the second favOrite as WELL
the net would have been increased 10 $780, First
tayOrites were successful nine times.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1881-12-06
NETWORK DAILY TRIBUNE. TUESDAY DECEMBER g. 1884,

ton of a principle. STILL the situation Is an
awkward one, even for him. He has strenu-
ously asserted, against all signs to the contrary
that the party actually believes IN something.
Upon the strength of it he hes calmly cut
firmly and authoIitatively ordered to the rear
all those who act upon the assumption thar tne
party does not believe in anything. Having
done this, he and his friends have invited the
party to ratfy tie order by simply saying that
the party does believe in something And a
majority Of the partys representatives in re-
spouse have cOolly stood up and said No ITO
it. There's nothing left, so far as we can see
for Messrs. WatCerson and Knott and the other
free traders except TO put on their lnapsacks
and go to the rear themselves. We wait with
some curiosity to see what course they VIII
take.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1881-12-06

and If they can settle up without bankruptcy
law, why not the smaller traderF Inc cases
are different. The large house has large
stock. Whafcyer the deficiency may be there IS
n sum at stake which makes it worth the
while of the creditors to come in and help to-
ward settlement. But the smaller trader
in distant town is not in this position,
and the absence of bankruptcy law would
place him at the mercy of any one creditor
not disposed to accept less than one hundred
cents on the dollar. The mistake which runs
through the whole argument is that these
gentlemen have regarded this matter simply
from their own point of view, and have rea-
soned rs if their trades and interests were all
that Congress had to consider. The petition, duly
signed. now lies awaiting the meeting OF Con-
rrrss. For the credit of those whose names
are attached it would be better that it were
never presented. If the act formulated by the
committee should not meet the views of this
eminent body of traders, their objections would
deserve careful consideration; but if, on argu-
ments such us we have quoted, they oppose
any bill whatever they negative the value of
any subsequent criticism on their part, or OF any
valuable suggestions they may hereafter have
to make.
The supporters of the measure are as out
spoken as its opponents. The Board of Trans
portatiOn has already pronounced in its favor,
and at a meeting at which a number of traders
associations were represented favorable reso-
lutions were carried We should be glad how
ever, if these gentlemen had omitted to press
upon Congress the Lowell bill, more especially
as they passed a resolution in favor of compo-
sitons out of court, for which that draft con-
tains no provisions. The duty of drawing up
a new measure rests wholly with the Judiciary
Committee, and any drafts sent in can be re-
garded only as tentative suggestions.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1881-12-06

be impossible to devise or TO sell bond more
advantageous to the Government than the eX-
tended three and half per cents. As a basis
for bank circulation, these bonds have been
readily accepted, and that by many banks
which proved their unwillingness to issue
notes on three per cent bonds by sur
render of their circulation last February.
Nevertheless it is proposed, and by some
members of Congress who ought to have
full understanding of the subject, to
force into use three per cent bond which
the Government cannot pay until 1t becomes
due and must pay then, in place OF three ana a
half per cents which it can pay at any time or
can leave unpaid indefinitely at its pleasure.
The right to pay OF not to pay OF itself alone
is worth more to the Government than the
difference of One-half of one per cent in IN
tcrest. But the difference to the National bank
ing system may he vital. Any adjustment OF
the debt which will cause banks gradually to
drop ont of the system, whether so intended or
not, involves its destruction. II members Of
Congress propose, as some do, to compensate
for change of bonds by removal of taxes on
banking property, they should first be sure that
the desired change of taxation can be accom-
plshed. Undoubtedly this change is desirable
and wise in itself, for the taxation on TINS
species of property is excessive. But 1t cannot
be called desirable or wise to abate the Whole
or even the half of bank taxes now yielding
81 / 800, 900 yearly, merely for the purpose OF
trying to save One-half of one per cent yearly
in the interest on less than $55O,OOO,OOO Oh
public Indebtedness.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1881-12-06
TIE NEWS TITS MORNING.

FoREIGN-The "nO rent" movement in Ireland
is apparently extending; Outrages and assaults on
persons who have paid rent continue. ==
British man-of-war attempted TO capture on Satur-
day last a save-ship Of the coast Of Zanzibar; four
of the crew, including the captain, were killed ;
the SLAYER escaped. - The election of two
French Deputies has been annuled. - The
Ameer of Afghanistan is reported to have marched
to Cabul. 60 The French Minister of Commerce
has declared his readiness to withdraw under GER
"a . conditions the decree regarding American pork
DoMRslIC.-Several experts were examined in
. the Guiteau case yesterday, but their testimony
was confined to answering hypothetical question
the President declines to appear as a
witness - An important decision In
regard to the liability of sherifs was handed
down in the United States Supreme Court. ==
tannery at Milton Centre, ~ Y. was destroyed by
fire; loss estimated at from SIS, 900 to $1,000 0;
Insurance, 100000. 80 CTain Rising d
Co., of Boston, reported to have
failed - Two men were instantly killed
and one fatally injured in a railroad accident
Selma, Ala. - Cases of smallpox are reported
On the line of the Central Pacific Railroad. 60
The New-Jersey Constitutional Commission met
at Trenton, n. J. 80 The extra session of the
Louisiana Legislature was COW ned. - The
will of Theodore S. Paxton includes public requests
amounting to $53,500.
CoNGREss.-The first regular session of the
XLVIIth Congress began yesterday. = num-
Der of important bills introduced in the Sem
ate. - General Keifer was elected Speaker Of
the House, and Edward Mcpherson Clerk. oh
lection was made to the swearing IN of a number Of
members-eect, but the objection was oyerruled in
every instance.
CITY AND SUBURBAN.-The Brooklyn Bridge Trus-
tees held meeting yesterday. = Count An
Grassy told a reporter about his trip in America.
- Mrs. Coleman was sent to prison for
four years 80 sealed verdict rem
dered in the breach Of promise 80
CAPTAIN Walsh died. - Gold value Of
the legal-tender silver dollar 412l2 grains),
S7.O1 cents. - Stocks opened higher and ex-
cited later, dull and lower, and closed weak.
THE Manufacturers local observations indi-
cate warmer and generally fair weather. Their
mometer yesterday: Highest, doe; lowest, $50 ;
average, 397so.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1881-12-06
A PROTEST FROM PENNSYLVANIA.

PENNSYLVANIA broke its faith and made the
Speaker. IL might far better have made the speaker
and kept its faith. This achievement equally in 10
power with less strain aud honor. The ruling In
fuences and the majority OF the members honor
ably committed to ar Hiscook II was their Free yolun-
tary act Had they observed this obligation OF faith the
candidate thus supported would have chosen and
they would have had the prestige OF naming the success
full man. with the added strength OF maintaining their
choice. But just at the last moment and unwar
rantable issue was raised and a order was seIs
beers moved around like many pawns chess
board and the Pennsyvania delegation stands befoe
of its honor. There the exhibition Of bad
a na sy eace opuss
pie want TO see good faith among men. They do mon
believe the time has gone by for honor In pocs They
Go not muoh who the leaders only fair pay
is observed and the public will respected. And that
the only kind Of politics that viii last The other sors
may succeed for time. But IL cannot TOR any greas
period stand the weAr~a and tear Of constant public
ahocta.l
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1881-12-06
PERSONAL

Mr.. Andrew Carnegie wealthy citizen Of
Pttsburg, has offered TO that city free library on
which he promises to expend $4,000.
Mr.. Willard Huntington the nephew of Mr. C.
P. Huntington. is engaged to marry Miss Marie l..
Ream arelative of Mrs. Winnie Ream Hoxe, tho
sculptor.
Sonora Augustine Ramirez, the mother Of twelve
sons who with their father all died in arms against
the French, has just been awarded pension Of
$3.50 month by the Mexican Congress
General Boulanger and the other members of tho
French delegation visiting this country are to 10
formally entertained by the citizens of New
Orleans. A magnificent reception will be given to
them at the French Opera House on the 18th.
Mr.. Longfeow says in regard to the recently
published story that he had cancer in the cheek:
''YOu can contradict the report whenever you hear
it, have not, nor ever had, cancer in the check,
or anywhere else.'
A large oil portrait of the Hon. J. W. Taylor, the
only Speaker of the House elected from this
State, is about to be presented to that body and
will be preserved in the Capitol Mr. Taylor was
elected to Congress from the XIth District, and
held the seat for twenty years, succeeding Henry
Clay as Speaker.
Mr.. A. B. Alcott and his daughter Louisa cele
brated their birthday last Tuesday by addressing
poems to each other. Mr.. Alcott wrote not long
ago some pretty little verses to his two-years-Old
Thus they begin;
Ny babel my peasurel day by day
court thy soft and sunny SMILE
Whilst round my chamber thou dost play,
And WOO mine eye with cunning vile.
Mr.. Joseph Jefferson, it is well known is not only
an actor but also artist of much taste and skill.
He is fond of skeching that he always carries his
materials with him on his professional tours and
spends all his odd minutes with pencil and brush.
His walks too apt to lead him into the
receSScs of picture stores This season he has in mis-
company several actors who like himself are given
TO skeching and painting and i'm his special car he
has provided easels for them a. well rs for himself
Sir Garnet WOseey in letter to Mr.. Massett
says " am of those who have always felt
that anything great done by our cousins on the
other side of the Atlantic is a family achievement.
l only wish more Americans would come here, and
more EnglIshmen travel in the United States, for |
am certain that we have only to know one another
well to Join hands all occasions as members VI
the same clan the same family. ii all the English.
speaking provinces IN the world were Joined 10.
gether IN one federation, no Bismarck or king dard
ire shot IN any part of the world"