Smyrna times., 1881-03-23
An Inquisitive Customer.

! AA0 sHPFV" lutO All ICs'cFedm paTlOr very
softly, and when the girl asked him what
he wanted he replied: "Corn.beef. fried
potatoes, pickles and mince pie"
This is not a restaurant; this is an ice.
cream paror," she said
Then why did you ask me what wan.
ted, for? Why didn't you bring on your
ice-cream.
She went after it, and as she returned he
continued: "You see. nay dear girl, you
must infer-you must reason. 1t isn't
likely that would come into an ice.cream
p"rlor to buy grindstone, is itf You
didn't think / came here to ask if you had
any baled hay. did your"
She looked at him in great surprise, and
lie went on:
If had hardware store and you came
in, would infer that you came for some.
thing in my line, ! wouldn't step up and
ask you whether you wanted to buy mule,
would p She went away highly indig.
nant.
An old lady was dovouring a dish of ice.
cream at the next table, and the stranger
after watching her moment called out:
My dear woman, have you found any
hairs or buttons in your dish 2"
Mercy mol" she exclaimed, as she
wheeled around and dropped her spoon.
Well, I'm glad Of it! II you find any,
let me know, will you p
She looked at him half minute, picked
up her spoon, and laid it down again, then
rose up and left the room. She must have
said something to the proprietor, for he
came running in and exclaimed:
) Did you tell that woman that there
2 were hairs ard buttons in my ice.creau r.
/. No. sir"
], You ddn't?"
No, sir, did not; merely REQUESTED d
her in case she found any such ingredi+ nts
. to inform me-"
Well, sir. that was mean trick"
" My dear sir said the stranger, snil
r ing softly, did you expect me to ask the
e woman if she had found a crow.bar or 9
sledge hammer in her cream? II is impos
} zlhle, sir, for such articles to be hidden in
;. such Il small dish
n The proprietor went away growing, and
as the stranger quietly supped away at hi,
!, cream, two young ladies came in, sat down
/. near him, and ordered some cream and
cakes. He waited until they had eaten s
Il little, and then he remarked:
S d" Beg pardon, ladies, but do you observe
d anything peculiar in the taste of thil
Il cream2"
IS They tasted, and smacked their lips, bu
h were not certain.
's " Does it taste to you as if q plug of to
rs 0acco had fallen into the freezer" b,
!. asked.
"Ah! kahr' they exclaimed, dropping
h their spoons, and trying to spit out wha
they had eaten. Both rushed out, and i
wasn't long before the proprietor came.
r, "See here, what in blazes are you talk
4 ing ahout?' he demanded. "What do vol
.. mean by plugtObacco in the freezer?"
:, MY kind friend, l asked the ladies i
. this cream tasted like plug tobacco.
?. didn't taste any such taste, and don't be
as lieve you used bit of tobacco in it! -
Or well, we don't want you to talk tha
ii way around here!' continued the propri.
d ;or. MY ice.cresm is pure, and the ma
At who says it isn't tells bold lie.''
He went away again and a woman with
an long neck and sad face sat down and sai
of to the girl that she would take a dish Z
an lemon.ice.
lv 1t was brought, and she had taken absu
is two mouthfuIs, when the stranger inquired
ry. Excuse me madam; but do you kno
III. how this cream was nader Have you Q
ID, idea that they grated turnip and chalk wit
I,a the cream?"
Ia. She didn't reply. She slowly rose u
to wheeled around, made for the deor. II
stranger followed after, and, by great goc
ed luck, his coat.tail cleared the door an j
en- slant too soon to he struck by FIVE pour
on box of figs, hurled with great force by Il
to indignant proprietor. AS he reached Il
curb stone he halted, looked at the door
he the parlor, and soliloquized:
A. There are times when people should i
nd Ter, and there are times when they shouldn
adj suppose if had asked that woman if 81
wv thought they hashed up saw mill in d
m cream she'd have felt circularsaw goil
X. down her throat"