Weekly Chillicothe crisis. (Chillicothe, Livingston Co., Mo.) 1878-19??, 1881-04-07
A Casual Suggestion.


Noble l.. Prentis, in a recent issue of
the Champion, issues the following elo-
quent appeal to drinkers and drunkards
to "dry up" the whole agitation over
the temperance act by ceasing to drink
In all the turmoil about the prohibi-
tory liquor law, one vitality interested
party has never spoken or been spoken
to. We allude to the drunkard, both
in incipient and chronic stages.
The law says little about him, and,
as the Champion has had occasion to
remark before, does not administer tO
him the necessary tonic, in the way of
punishment, if he offends, and Of course
holds out no incentive or reward to
him if he keeps sober; for laws inspire
and cheer nobody. Men may have been
deferred from doing wrong, but no hu.
man being was ever yet encouraged to
do right by a statute.
In spite of this oversight the drink
er, the drunkard, if you please, holds
the balance of power, he is the arbitel
of this whole business. If the watch.
word, "brace up" could be passed
along the whole line this most vexed
question would be settled. Let every
gentleman set down the "three fingers
which at present engage, his attention
and the wind would be taken out Of
every temperance lecturer; the prohibi-
tory law made an empty collection Of
phrases. What would it amount to if
all the saloons were kept open, if the
last of the bummers could wipe his
mouth with the back of his hand, and
say, "thanks, | don't drink" What
would become of the idiOtic discussion
about whether the "wine of the Bible
was fermented or unfermented, if each
of us could say, "Well, if | had been at
the wedding at Cana Of Galilee, l
should not have taken any of the wine,
even if it was made by miracle.
This sort of argument cuts the ground
from under the whole angry crowd of
cOntroversialists.
The Champion is free to say that it
wishes the question could be settled in
this way. 1t would be a final and
effectual settlement. No saloon keeper
could object to it; no temperance man
or woman ought to. 1t would be a
blessed thing all around. 1t would save
the country from quarrels, prosecutions,
heart-burning disputes, strifes. 1t
would save it from cant, humbug, slam
der, professional reformers, hired apos-
ties, and another fool legislature in
Kansas. 1t would give the pulpit back
to its regular and proper uses; it would
shut off Niagara of slushy communi-
cations to the newspapers, for the har-
rassed and tormented editor could tell
the contributors to initiate the guzzlers
and "dry up" "Dry up" blessed word,
and so general, too, in its application.
DRY up" let us repeat it; we linger
lovingly over the phrase, "Dry up"
drunkards, and you will dry up lot of
other nuisances. You will "dry up" a
fountain of discussion; you "dry up" a
crowd of pestiferous agitators; you
dry up lot of small politicians, who,
strange anomaly, run wind mills by
water.
You dry up for yourself flowing,
deepening stream of misery; literal
fountain Of tears. You dry up drain
on your pockets; on your mind; on
your conscience; on yOnr heart. You
dry up Il black ocean that now waits to
receive you. And you alone, our
drunken friend, can do all this. Hob
byists don't believe it, but sensible men
do. People with patent reformatory
machines think you can be dried up by
statute, but you know better. You
know that you must dry yourself up.
You know that if you want whisky
you will get it. Suppose you stop
wanting any. Try it, old man, and
help yourself and the country and the
old girl and the babies. The thing is
worth trying. The Legislature has
overlooked this plan; for the legisla-
ture did not know much anyhow. Let
this issue be settled by the only men
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