National Republican. (Washington City (D.C.)) 1872-1888, 1881-03-12
ser and 60 tumbling down the stairway to the

Ny friend had just donned his overcoat and hat
with view 10 lunch when his laudable purpose
was interrupted by the appearance of a political
delegation fresh from an interview with the Presi-
dent.
"a most important interview with his Excel
lency, said spokesman, in regard to the poh-
cal outlook. Very important Thought you would
like the facts for publication You see Judge
Honeysuckle is after the collectorship-
"What did the President say?"
after the collectorship-"
"What did the President say?' again queried
the half famished disciple of Ben. Franklin.
"What did he say-say?' stammered the visit
ing statesman WELL he-he principally
good morning. And"
"WaS that ALP
"And we thought we would drop in and ask
your opinion-friendly chat"
I beg you to excuse me; 1 have an appoint
ment at two, and it is nearly that now. If you
have anything important put it in writing and
will examine it,
eve thought
Yes, know but it must be written out"
IL reckon this is sort of onc-horse concern
after all" whispered the leader of the delegation
to one of his companions; "or else this isn't the
boss. Let's 60"
They went out, and were speedily followed by
their VICTIM who had barely reached the outer
room when the telephone called him back
Squaring up to the instrument, he took part IN the
following interesting colloquy: well" he began
"Yes; no; has she? Don't want it; not in
twenty-five cents On the thing!"
All of which meant that Jones wife had pre-
scented her lord and master with a prospective
candidate for some high office, and the happy
father wished the fact published. The closing re-
mark spoken in italics, and was doubtless in
tended for the telephone itself
In the evening the first conner was savage. He
had a grievance. An article had been published
rejecting upon him. He was referred to the city
editor, who was out.
Mrs Flouncewen brought three columns of So
cfety clippings from exchanges three weeks old
and was accompanied by Miss Katie, who had a
neatly executed copy of the Isle of the Long
Ago." which she had dashed or the evening pre-
vious, "while suffering from toOthache." De-
clined with thanks. Society lady and poetess re-
tired in high dudgeon.
Two visiting delegations who wished railroad
passes TO their homes; seven members of Congress
DESTROYS of being interviewed; lady who wished
copying editorial work FIVE or six young swellS
after dead head tickets to the theatres; three i'm
pecuniOus individuals anxious for loan of money
half dozen lobbyists with carefully prepared
measures for their own relief at national expense,
which they asked the editor TO advocate. These
followed each other i'll rapid succession, and yet
the editor did not swear-not audibly.
The devil came from aoft (as he had been driving
from below in divers shapes for some timel for
copy.
Selling his pencil, my friend wrote two lines
scratched out one of thenl-began another-when
in rushed stranger, whose disarranged clothing,
wild eyes, and incoherency OF speech proved con-
clusivcly his spiritualistic tendencies.
~ t-r hDr'r f-r foo
mints-d-dfel'rb me'tI (llicl cudn't raise three
beethic)rs" There was short trlsSle q scrambling
along the passage-way, tumble and skin full of
beer went rolling and humping to the floor below.
al feel better now" remarked the patient man,
as he returned to take thread of his proposed
discourse; Il think he won't come back again"
This time he had closed and bolted the door.
Scarcely had he become settled in his seat, how
ever, before the knob was turned.
AZ must see the editor" said voice.
BUSY" responded that Of the sub editor III the
outer apartment.
Something very important
"WOnt dO?"
"No: must see the chief-old friend-matter
for his private ear
The chief unfastened the door and in walked
Major Brassy. How are you, old fellow" said
he; az dropped in to read you an article wrote
last evening, showing up the Englishman's battle
with the Beers. Laughed half the night over it.
Deucedly funny. Only sixty pages
81 haven't the time to spare YOU"
"only sixty pages-take half an hour, including
time TO laugh. 1t begins"
IL cannot Iisten.'
With-with couplet (unrolling MS.)-
60 When Briton's might
Went 10 the fight"
"You are keeping me from my work. l really
must ask that You desist."
"opens out well, you SEQ"
/" bwill not LISTEN" and the martyr to position
doggedly set himself at the task before him.
well" said the Major, rising. if you're en-
gagged Tll-Tll call again To- tap and of he went,
not the least bit taken aback at the manner of his
reception.
And thus it was to the very hour of going to
press. Big bores with little augers and little
augers with big boring capacity alternated, twist
ing their gimletty tongues into the editorial ear
until metaphorieally speakingl his mind must
have resembled the target of crack regiment
after ball practice at fifty yards.
He was bored and bedeviled until it seemed i'm
possible for any one but lunatic to submit to
further inhictiou and yet manifest signs of sanity
Next day, when the paper came out, A, B, c, and
every other born editor commented: az thought
he could do better; paper isn't up to mark. I'd
like TO be in his place for week. I'd show him
leader or two, you bet. I'd make things hum
HUMP" Good Lord ! gentlemen, L only O6serred
what he went through and my head has been hum
ming ever since.
I used to wish could be an editor. Now think
l had rather break rock or saw wood with dull
saw, have themeasles, or be six times sealed Nor
mon and live in the same house with all my
methers-in -law at once. Any infliction would be-
come blessing if placed along side of that i'm
posed by the editorial chair.