Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1881-10-22
The Clock Disease.
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The CLOCK D10eaScs
From the New York Times.
1t is natural that q man should take q warm
interest in his watch; that he should palliate or
deny its faults, and ascribe to it an accuracy
which it rarely possesses. This regard for one
own watch is essentially the same passion as
love for ones country. man Is q patriot not
because his native land is better than any other
land, but because it is his native land. He loves
his watch not because it is necessarily a good
watch, but because it is his personal property
Which passion is the stronger-lOve of country
or love of watch-only bold man would ven
ture to decide.
The habit of wearing watch has it's iisad-
vmtages though they are of no great conse-
quence. If a man has areally good watch he is
apt to exhibit his pride in rather oppressive
way, and to become unpleasantly self-righteous
He invariably convinces himself that the accu-
racy of his watch is something that is greatly to
his credit, and that it renders him morally
better than other men. BY some curious pro-
cess he comes to consider the accuracy of his
watch as one of his own moral qualities rank
ing at least as high as honesty or veracty. Thus,
he never replies, when asked what is the time,
My watch says that it is o'clock, or what
ever the hour may be, but his invariable answer
is, II am o'clock" There can be no doubt that
the watch owner really looks upon his watch as
one OF his bodily organs, and he resents any i'm
putatiOn that may be made upon it as testify as
he would resent the suggestion that his lungs
These results Of Woodworking are trivial in
comparison with the painful and sometimes ter
ribe results that follow too great familiarity
with clocks. The existence of a well-defined
disease, named by it's discoverer, DR.. Charles T.
Mendax, 'nOrbus hOrOlOqeus has recently been
demonstrated and it's origin and nature thor
oughly defined. 1t seems strange that the watch
should be comparatively harmless in its effects.
while clock, which is a machine of essentially
the same nature, should produce painful and
Ilo<lk IL
TO the force of Dr. Mendaxs reasoning, and to
admit the deleteriOus influence Of clocks.
The first symptom Of the clock disease is de-
sire on the part of the patient to provide him
sell with an unnecessary quantity of clocks.
It will not do to say that the disease originates
In an excess of clocks for the first symptom
manlfests itself prior to the buying by the pa
tient of his second clock and his subsequent
prodigality in clocks is purely symptomatic.
Usually he buys three or four clocks within the
first six months of his attack. and within year
ne provides every room in his house with it's
especial clock. Thus far the one symptom
which has manifested itself is regarded by all
who know the afflicted man as harm
less, or, at worst. merely as a piece of childish
extravaganza. When, however he has bought
all clocks thatAis house will readily hold, the
virulence of the disease rapidly increases.
The unfortunate man soon begins to try to
make all his clocks keep exact time. OF course,
this is impossible, but in his diseased state he
does not recognize the impossibility. He
fancies that if he sets the parlOr clock back q
little, and puts the hands of the spare-room
clock forward, and shortens the pendulum OF
the dining room clock he can secure unanimity
among them. His constant failures do not dis
courage him, but only induce him to give more
time and attention to his clocks. He is con-
stantly sending this or that clock to the watch
makers to be cleaned, and he spends hours
in wandering from room to room testing his
clocks, and trying to regulate them. In this
vain pursuit he negects his business and de-
prlves himself of sleep. His temper next be-
gins to suffer. He becomes irritable and will
tolerate On the part of his family or friends no
illusions to the bad qualities of any of his
clocks No matter in what no may be engaged.
the striking of clock will instantly cause him
tOJump up and run to regulate a delinquent
time piece. The day comes when either the
miserable man sinks into profound melancholy
and takes to his bed never again to leave it, or
his friends are compelled to remove him as q
hopeless lunatic to an insane asylum.
Such is the clock disease. 1t is induced. &C
cording to DR.. Mendax by the regular and mon
OtOnous ticking of the ordinary clock This
sound exercises a peculiar and injurious infiu-
ence upon the nerves. and through the nerves
upon the brain. Thus, while the clock disease
often produces hopeless insanity. it is not pri-
marily brain disease. but belongs to that great
family of nervous diseases which are the curse
OF our country and the despair of doctors. The
remedy is, OF course, the complete isolation OF
the patient from clocks. and course of medi-
cal treatment adapted to sOOthe and strengthen
the nerves. 1t is probable that in it's early
stages the disease can be cured by skilful treat
ment, but when once the patient has bought
half dozen clocks and lived for month or two
in their presence his radical cure is very nearly
hopeless