Gloucester County Democrat. (Woodbury, N.J.) 1878-1932, 1881-09-29
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

The man at the telephone Office al
ways has holler back.
BIest be the tie that won't work
around under ones left ear.
It was schoolmaster who wrote ssThe
Vacant Chair" soon after q boy Left
bent pin init.
Borrow from us, !" says the Roehes-
ter Democrat. All right; well be IN
Rochester next week.
"All that glitters is not cold" said
the man who picked up q red-hot piece
of brass.-Detroit Chat.
"An' that's the Pillar of Hercules ~
she said, adjusting her silver spectacles-
= Gracious what's the rest OF his bed
clothes like, wonder p
An exchange asks; g What would q
twenty-five cigar amount to il you had
no match?" just quarter Of q dollar.
brother. Give us another.
The very heart and root of sin is an
independent and selfish spirit I'VE
erect the idol sell, and not only wish
others to worship it, but we worship 1t
ourselves.
A very small boy can get outside 0f
very large watermelon in very small
space Of time; but it takes very large
doctor to harmonize the two Rochester
Democrat.
cit is very muggy here" remarked
the man in the barber shopas he glanced
at the display of china upon the shelves;
and then the barber lathered him and
xo1Ia I,y, e1r4+ 1sc r-nrrrr-
"Tm afraid you'll be late at the
party" said an old lady to her stylish
granddaughter, who replied: :. Oh,
you dear grandma, don't you know in
our fashionable set nobody ever goes TO
party till everybody gets there"
1.-THE handspring of Italian music in
the eighteenth century" says q recent
writer, g was the exclusive and passion
ate worship of the human voice. But
italian music has experienced change.
It's handspring is now in box, and il
worked with handle.
A dentist presented bill for the
tenth time to a rich skinfint. SIT strikes
me" said the latter, sstbat this is
pretty round BILL s Tes,'' replied The
dentist, I've sent 1t round often
enough to make it appear SO; and have
called now to get itsquared" !"
Under the heading Of "Gems Of
Thought" an exchange has it: :" Have
the courage to pay a debt while the
money is in your pocket" There isNa
great deal Of that kind OF courage s.
this world. And can man pay the
debt and keep the money in his poeket2
Let us have the recipe for the benfat Of
our readers.-Ttr0s .Siffings
Thrilling incident: Adolphuss courage
was up. Falling on his knees he cried,
Angelina, dearest, make me the hap
piest Of men by accepting my heart and
hand" Casting one look at the great
paw Angelina thrilled in every fiber as
she replied, sweetly: "Oh, Adolphus.
this is more than I expected. ''-Bostoa
Transcript.
"Oh, Charley !" exclaimed the elderly
Miss Prim, I've learned lots OF things
this summer-been studying botany
and geology and" Charley What,
more new wrinkles, Miss Prim ~
Charley meant no harm, but Miss Prim
was heard TO remark, as she gazed into
her mirror that evening, "The idea
More new wrinkles, indeedI The
saucebox r.
"You Esake me think" John Viii
liams said, dropping on sofa beside
pretty girl last Sunday evening, "of a
bank whereon the wild thyme grows"
"Do II" she murmured; ssitis so nice.
but that's pas step in the hall, and un-
less you can drop out Of the front win
dow before cease speaking, you'll
have a wild time with him, my own,
for he loves you not" His descent was
rapid.