The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1881-08-18
Mans q vapor,
Full of woes;
Starts a paper
Up be pOeei

Full of woes;
Starts paper
Up be goes.
Last week the heat in London was
so intense that several partnerships
were quite dissolved.
When a member of the New York
legislature is asked by the barkeeper
what he will take, the absent-mind-
ed reply is $4,000"
Wives of great men o # remind US
We should PICK. our wives with care,
So we may not leave behind US
Half our natural crop of hair.
A canal boat owner who is pro
prietor of craft named "R 0scoe
Conkling" is having another built
to be named "Me Too"
'Tis well to quote the census number,
To show the greatness of a nation,
But better vets the green cucumber
To double up the population.
The army worm got as far as Bos-
ton when a miss with eye glasses
called it by it's real name. 1t imme-
diately laid down and died.
One hundred head of cattle is the
amount involved on the result of a
recent Texas horse race. This is
the largest beefsteak on record.
Young lover asks: "When is the
best time to travelT When you
see the old man and his bulldog
coming round the corner, travel for
all You are worth.
An exchange puts point sharp
ly thus: There is but little differ
eDce between a wife and a newspa-
per, and every man should nave one
without borrowing his neighbor's.
There are two boating associa-
tIons here" wrote Japanese stu
dent home, scaled Yale and Har-
ward. When it rains the members
read books"
Every man is fond of striking the
nail on the head, but when it hap
pens to be his fDger nail, his en-
thusiasm becomes wild and inco-
herent.
The New York Herald will not
have much use for this adminIstra-
ton if the president should have
the hardihood to get well in the face
of its prognostications.
A bear In Colorado got hold of
Joseph Brooks and sailed in to eat
him, but began on one of his legs
and it happened to be wooden. Joe
laid still and let the bear chew. He
says it was the most disgusted look
ing bear he ever saw-when "the
selr' broke over his countenance.
Back yard logic: "If you use
burner like this on your lamp" said
the peddler, ''you will save half of
the kerosene" The lady, who be-
longs TO one of the first families in
Austin, said she would take two, so
she would not need any kerosene AT
ALL Texas Siftings.
A newly acquired habit: Look
heah, Uncle Nose, you fooled me
wild dat ar boss l buyed from yer
last week. He jest drapt dead in
his tracks" "He nebber drapt
dead in his tracks or anywhar else
as long as 1 had him, goin' on TWEEN
ty year."
Four years ago a young man,
without a cent on his back, and on
ly one suit of clothes to his name,
entered Denver and begged his sup
per. Last week he eloped with his
employers wife and ten thousand
in cash. Close application to bust
ness, coupled with pluck and indus
try, wins every time.
Until a boy is about fifteen years
old his chief craving is to be hero.
Alter that he begins to experience
change. His dream of scalping
Indians gradually fades out, and the
highest notch of his ambition is to
sit on the back -stoop with his play
mates sister and give way to feel
ing of lum- blings, as it were.
Dead lock continued: "Who was
the greatest American poetP asked
Professor Stearns. George Wash
ington," said the slow boy 10 the
farther seat; "he was versed in war,
versed in peace and YER" But the
professor interrupted him to say
that was the verst he ever heard, and
just then the lightning struck the
Baptist college, and without coming
to vote, the house adjourned.
These seats are engaged" the
Liar remarked, as the Lone Trav-
eler attempted to share some of the
four seats that Liar had pre-empted.
"Yes. l know" the Lone Traveller
said, "but the engagement is broken
and the match is of; there's anoth-
er man, you understand" So say
ing he turned the seat and broke
the Liars legs. Thus do we learn
that, although matches are made in
heaven, the immortal gods with a
small g, please, good compositor) }
do not stoop to help Liar steal a