The Portland daily press., 1881-11-14
Reserved Seats.
a Domestic Melodrama in one Act.
tFrom the French of Eugene Chevette]


place in two front seats during the first act of
the play
She-Considering that this is the first time
you have deigned to take me anywhere, 1 am
surprised that you paid so little attention to
my comfort. A devoted husband would have
secured better seats, but yon said of course,
"Oh, anything is good enough for her! !"
He-But, my dear, these are the best seats in
the house, and 1 cannot see what more you
could ask, for hardly suppose you would wish
to occupy the Emperor's box.
She-You mean that / am not good enough
for it! don't thank you for bringing me here
since it was only to have an opportunity of
paying me such compliments.
He-You are wrong, my love. 1 simply
wished to point out when you reproached me
with neglecting your comfort that L came to
the theatre said, "Gve me two of the best
seats in the housel" and paid down my 16
francs, as L would have paid 60 to give you
pleasure.
She-So you squandered 16 francs without
knowing what seats you were getting, SO that
if VIII en- we arrived they had opened dark
cupboard and said, sect up on the second
shelf" we would have no recourse but to do
30!
He-That is going to an extreme, my love.
When you pay to see play, it is manifest
that they can't put you into dark cupboard.
Any one with common sense can see that.
She-Oh, thank you! So don't possess
common sense. But see what it isl under
stand it ALL You are trying to take the 16
francs you have wasted out of me. As if was
to blame because some one else swindled you
by giving you such seats.
He-No one swindled me; selected them
myself on the diagram.
She-Yes, you parted with your money on
the strength of a diagram, without asking to
see the seats and find out If they were comfor-
table.
He-But it is not customary.
She-When you buy two franc chicken
YOU feel it to see if it is tender-
He-And in the daytime the theatres are
dark.
she-Easy enough to get lantern.
He--Bosh
She-Bosh? Do you want me to believe
that in q city of the size of Paris such thing
as lantern isn't to be found? But, no! The
least little thing costs too much trouble-you
would sooner see an unhappy woman, whose
health and happiness the law has contlded in
your keeping, suffer agony on seat harder
than a road.
He'll go for a cushion, my dear (Rising.)
She-Oh, thank you. Do bring me cush-
ion every one has sat on. And while you are
about it, see il you can find cast.off bouquet
that has been lying under a seat for few
weeks.
He-You want flowers? How stupid of me
to forget! I'll get thom this
Shelf you took the trouble to reflect about
such trifiing matter as my health, you would
know that the smell of flowers makes me sick.
He-Forgive me, my love. l had forgot
Ill A1
convince me of your neglect. Any other hus-
band, on finding that the wife of his bosom
was placed alongside of fat woman escaped
from circus and reeking with patcEouli,
would have seen to it that door was opened.
He-I will with pleasure, my love, only as
the act has been begun, shall have to disturb
She-Rather than incommode strangers
you would see the mother of your children
suffer. suppose that's her husband there
that grinning IDIOT
He-Ssh, my love- He's doing what we
| should do-following the play.
She--And nice play it Is, too; no one can
| make head or tail out OF 1T.
He-If you were to listen instead OF talk
Sbe-I suppose you'd like a poor woman
| never to open her mouth when she's away
| from home,
Hell do not say that, hut it is customary af-
ter the curtain goes up to listen to the actors
an idea of the story.
Shea nice story it is, too. Your Countess
who receives Tom, Dick and Harry-ha! there,
THEY'RE singing-while she shows them out
Do people in good society sing when they go
from one room to another, I'd like to know?
And only lust now they said there was nerv-
GUS notary who had an office IN the lower sto-
nv! He must have nice, qulet tlme OF IL
poor man, if they howl duet every time
a door is opened. And look at these doorsl
hoe tuo 1aaVpS and 0V6rV time
one goes in or out he opens both leaves! Is
that the fashion in good society? | suppose
they draw the bolts at the top ana bottom each
time. And they never shut ooor-not they!
The door has to shut ITSELF ,
He-You see, my dear on the stage it Il,
assumed that there is a lackey on the other
side to close the door
She Oh, then there was a lackey in the
Countess's bedroom when she went into it to
dress as she said. A nice Counress that If
BILE age OF Louis XIV. thank heaven that
I'm only a common woman. And that's what
you paid your 16 francs to see?
He-You are severe, my love.
She-I am not but since the theatre is
school of manners, don't want to hear people
screech in notary's house or see a countess
lock herself up with footman. There! One
of them has begun to dance!
He-Didn't you hear him say, "Let me take
advantage of the Countess's absence to prac-
That's why he is dancing.
She-And what about the notary down
stairs? He must pay very low rent to induce
him to remain in such placel And who is
this new character that enters the Countesss
apartments as easily as knife enters pound
of butter? She's Countess that takes pre-
cautions about her dressing room! I'd as soon
think of dressing myself in the street.
He--Ssh! He said-didn't you hear him?-
that he found no one in the ante-ohamber to
announce him.
She-Then who shut the door from the out
sideg 1t must be nicely-run household-not
even a servant to answer the door l hope the
notary's clients don't leave their securities
with him.
He-oh, if you come down to such tribes
She-Trihes Yon consider it trfle to call
on lady while she is dressing But am not
surprised. You have no sense of decency. L
am only astonished that you haven't quilted
me hours ago to go and meander round the
Countess. 1 have been waiting to hear you
say you had an engagement with the notary.
He-Hush, my dear. Everybody is staring
at us. You forget you are at the theatre.
She-Now L see why you were so ready to
spend 16 francs to take me to the theatre 1t
was with the triple object in view of breaking
me on a stone bench, poisoning me with patch
ouli and perverting my moral sense. You
wished to reduce me to a level with your count
ess, who opens her doors to whole cities-races.
He-I beg of you, my dear. They are
laughing at us.
She-I won't stay here another instant. 1
will go and get the money back. Let them de-
duct the price of the act we have seen, if they
are mean enough to exact it, Oh, heavensl
There are all five of them kissing the countess.
He-You see she has just recognized her
five long lost brothers.
She-Don't tell me. No woman ever recog-
nzed five long-lost brothers at once. If she pre-
tends they are her brothers, it is only because
there is some faint spark of shame left in her.
He-If you understood the plot you
She-So I'm an idiot, am l? Here, let me
out?
He-Wait till the end Of the act
She-I won't
He-We will have to dersnge everybody
She-Come this moment or I'll prance along
the knees of the audience. Ooh! (GoeS into
Mysteries and is removed to her carriage by her
husband and stranger
Stranger-I hope the air will revive your
wife, sir. If | can be of any further service to
you. here is my card.
III Thank you sir (Reads) "Mr. Lion
King Wild Beast T8meT!' Curtan)
The actor plays for money; but he does not
like to be called a gambler.-New Orleans Pic
ayune.