The Hickman courier. [volume] (Hickman, Ky.) 1859-current, 1881-04-08
PITH AND POINT.
| companions-Studs.

BOSOM companlons-Studs.
a SHEET and pillow-casef party-The
bedbugs.
HARD money is not hard to get when
one has soft Job.
BoARDNG-HoUsE butter solves the
question OF 'frapid rancid.
"a NEW way TO pay old debts" is to
take the cash and pay them.
A YOUNG lady at ball called her beau
IN Indian because he was on her trail all
the time
IT was a Connecticut minister whose
salary was $50 year and half the fish
he caught.
A TEMPTATION for milknen to emigrate
TO Kansas is the fact that extensive chalk
beds exist there.
Why cannot a gentleman legally pos
ssess a short wallling-stiek Because it
S can never be long to him.
WHY Is the money you are in the habit
OF giving TO the poor ike a newly-born
babe Because it's precious little.
Az Indian chief, after the romantic
manner of his nation, calls his musket
=" Book Agent" because it is an old
smooth bore.
= II DER that wall you leap, you Ounce,
He leaped OF went his head at once
. 50 much, said he, ''for Romulns."
A LECTURER says, q" "Fullness under
the eye denotes language" He has
probably been knocked down for some
thing he has said.
''OH, woe is me, exclaimed the boy
of the house in the midst of his work,
to have sawed what have sawed, and
saw what L see
a
OF Heredity." Children who wish to be
born into poor but distinguished fami-
hes should apply early.
OBSERVING little brothers remark be-
fore n room full of company % know
1 what made that red mark ON Mary's
| nose it was the rim of John Parker's
| hat
! PLAY spades if you would win pota-
/ toes play clubs if you would deal with
/ a ruiiian play hearts if you would win
friendship; play diamonds if you would
/ win a woman.
! How LIKE its father" " said the
| nurse, on the christening of a baby
whose father was over 70. very like, "
said satirical lady "bald, and not
tooth IN its head.
DoCToR," said Julius Caesar TO a
must be out of order" "What are your
symptoms ?" "Well, after have taken
ten or fifteen toddies l fall asleep, and as
soon as l wake up l am tormented with
thirst. - G0iUestoH Net0S.
"THE handspring of Italian music in
the eighteenth century" says a recent
writer, was the exclusive and passion
ate worship of the human voice" Italian
music has experienced a change Its
handspring now Is III "A box, and is
worked with a handle.
SWEET MISS MAY.
Sighed Mr.. Jones. % Ny dear Miss May,
dreamed an nuctioneer, one day,
Cried. Going, going, gone
thought was the slave he sold,
And you-you bought me with your gold
To kuee before your throne"
'' You're easily Sold smiled sweet Miss May,
"For when heard the fellow say
thought, alas he little knows
He's selling one who never goes,
And Mr.. Jones had flown.
THE last words Of dying photogra-
pher, Now keep very still" Those of
a dying ferryman, "fm going over the
river" Those of a dying barber, "rm
going to curl mp and dye" Those of a
moribund cobbler, E" 'Tis awl up. My
sole's safe at last" Those of a murderer
about to be hung, "This suspense will
kill me.
One of our militia soldiers owns that
he does not want any gore. Somebody
asked him: " Now, Captain, what would
} you do if you were in the presence of the
! enemy?" That all depends on the
enemy. If the enemy were to run, and
there were not many of them, I'd make
it hot for them, but if the enemy
wouldn't run, then l would. One of us
has to get up and dust, anyhow, you
know. .'-G GaLCestO1 Ne10s.
A TRAMP, while under the influence of
beer, applied to a citizen for a tempo
rary loan. 81 am not IN the habit of
investing money in such enterprises,
but here is quarter for you, said the
citizen, " but be careful you don't spend
it for whisky" The tramp slowed away
the quarter, and tear of gratitude
glistened in his eye as he said: "You're
brick, but l want you to understand
that it is none of your blank business
what L buy with my money. It's my
money now, and I'll just buy what L
blank please with it. l wish you would
not meddle with my private affairs"