Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1881-02-12
MIR. and Mrs. spoopendyke.
THEY DISCUSS CERTAIN PROPOSED
CALLS ON THEIR NEIGHBoRs.
Brooklyn Eagle.


Nov, uy dear" said Mr..
Spoopendyke, ''let me see the list
al ladies you wish me TO Cal on. /
really don't care to go around
much but man ,ght 10 do what
his wife wants him 10 do on New
Years day. Where's the list?
''Eere it is" said Mrs. SpoOpen-
dyke, f0ttering around with her
hair In her mouth. II wrote them
all out with the addresses for you.
80 you wouldn't have any trouble :"
"What makes you put old sister
Lamb al he head Of the list ~
growled Mr.. Spoopendyke. sizes
got wart on her chin the size Of
q fire bell, and she cant talk any
thing but tie advantages 0f egg
over stove coal for h,-siin. the
Sunday School,"
but she belongs 10 he church,
and | den't believe any one else
Will call on her" rea~oneI Mrs.
Spoopsudyke. "She viii be ,.cklcd
10 death 10 see YOU"
"What do you think | am start
ing out for? 20 demanded Mr..
Spoopendyke fercely. Got an
idea I'm going around like mis-
sionary 10 carry the gospel to peo-
pie everybody else il afraid OF ?
Who's this? What's this second
name here? Who's Mrs Shklym-
bret0y p
That's Mrs. Wolverton. |
promised her you would call.
Never mind Mrs. Lamb, but you
ought to call on Mrs. Wolverton. ;"
what for? What has she got
Ia common with me, except that
her bones are hollow 2" She don't
know the difference between q
Guinea pig and the burning of Je-
rusalem. Always wants to know
i'll don't think Sodom and Co
m0rrah were parallels. /. that
the kind Of list you have made
out? Want me 10 run around
among the old monuments /?
Who's Mrs. SWash ?"
"That's Mrs. Smith, the little
widow. You know she's interest.
ed in sending WON'T out West TO
get husbands. She'll amuse you"
''She will if she sees me. She'll
make me laugh like a hyena if
she gets one eye on me. Who's
that yellow-headed girl that sits
two pews in front of US? I'd call
ON her now"
"She's little chit of thing.
You don't want to run after those
young people-a man of your
agew
Whats the reason / don't %
howled Mr. Spoopendyke. "Got
an idea that l only care for the
tough old people, haven't you ?
Think I'm sort of Plymouth
Rock, don't you? Got any more
old landmarks that need inspec-
liOn p"
II don't care" demonstrated
Mrs. Spoopendyke, Indignantly,
they're nice people. and / like to
cultivate them. They may be
alone in life, but they can't help
snssss
"Cultivate 'eu. if Won want ia. "
: growIed Mr.. Spoopcnuyh~ "hnt
il you think I'm going hoeins
ArUnnd among 'em on the first OF
JaLuary, you're left. What dye
want to cultivate 'em for? With
your friends and ideas you only
0eed weekly prayers and an alarm
of fire to be an old Women's home.
Who else have you got here Mrs.
Sliggonshratt, Mrs. Waptcnslough,
Mrs. Kimpz-"
"You don't read them right al
all" complained Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke. That's Mrs. Silverspoon
and Mrs. Worthington and Miss
Hemingway. They are just as
nice as they can be-
Are they the three fold worth
les who howl in the choir ," ask
ed Mr.. Spoopendyke, sternly.
They've got grandson old
enough to be my father
They haven't" sobbed Mrs.
Spoopendyke. You know bet
ter"
"Well, most of 'em have. What
dye want me to call on 'em for 7?
wv any AOlc Olu dlLududC0 eA-
pscting me? Where's the Sphinx?
You haven't got the Sphinx down
here, nor the Tower of Babe.
Who're these other pyramids !?
WHO'S Mrs. Unsidedown."
"That's Mrs. Edgerton. She
sent you the jelly when you were
sick, and you said she was the best
woman in Brooklyn. You'll
have to call on her for politeness,' y
said Mrs. Spoopendyke, severely.
81 won't, either ~ shouted Mr..
Spoopendyke. "The jelly was
sour, and she made me pay a dol
lar toward q plaster Paris angel
for q starving family out ia Flat
bush. Who's this other nurse oil
- IL -