Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1881-03-17

female companion.
OH the pleasures of being a celestial
tramp! My pen can never express
them. All was comfort and joy, al
though [ did banker after pork and
beans and little rye and rock. Earth,
l thought, has few good things, too.
After [ had enjoyed a sweet rest l
started out on a walk to view the
sights. Everywhere went new beau
ties met my eye and all my senses were
charmed and delighted. Hank! what
was that? A noise sounding like the
voices of men in quarrel struck my
ear.
Isit possible" I said, " that am to
see other human beings, tOo?"
The voices grew louder, and louder,
and at last l saw large body of men
come from belinda hill, walk a few
PAGES and halt. The men were rag
ged lot, and all were gesticulating
wildly.
Istarted off at good pace and soon
reached the meeting placed. [ walked
to the center of the excited mob and
said
Has the convention made a no
mination?" The whole party, as soon
as they heard my voice and had re-
covered from their surprise, made Il
rush for me. and all tried to grasp my
hand at once.
When did you arrive, and how are
things below" they asked, simultane-
Ously.
Take it easy, gentlemen; take it
- T sold EEo,,J I c,iIyo 1-C,, oil
the information which possess"
After answering any number of
questions IN relation to most all things
in life, and noticing how eager the
men about me drank in my words, I
observed an old man coming toward
me, who said; Has Tammany dis
banded?"
No" l replied; e." it is stronger than
ever"
Mem" cried the old man, " that
fellow who arrived here month ago,
dressed in a swallow-taii coat and silk
stockings, is a liar!''
b" How?" cried the men.
"Why he said Tammany had dis
banded, and hereis a gentleman from
New York who says Tammany is
UlldIl ever.
"Punish the liarw cried the men,
ard a rush was made for little fell
low dressed in ragged swallow tail
coat, but he managed to escape, and
went, know not where.
Well, gentlemen" [ said, "please
answer me few questions"
" Certainly" said the old man re-
ferred to.
Well, why is it you are all clothed
in rags and have such melancholy
faces? There is no work to do here,
and you should all be happy"
" Work, work, blessed work." sighed
all the men III one breath.
WHAT" [ exclaimed; praying for
work? Why | was just congratuIating
myself that my work was over forever"
" Foolish youth" said the old man,
" listen. Once was discontinued with
my lot in life, and fancied myself a
slave and raved at fate. One night
spirit came to me and asked me if 1
wished to toll no more. Yes! yesr [
cried, and hither | was brought, | know
not how. For a while [ was happy
and contented in this beautiful place,
but soon began to crave for earthly
things. | had the companionship of
men, for new arrivals were frequent.
We were happy for while; but alas!
our clothing began to grow ragged. We
craved meat, bnt no animals inhabit
this place. All is loneliness and idle
ness. We grew cross and disconnected,
and quarrels and fights often arose.
AS we have no work and nothing to
think of, our minds grow dull and stu
pid. We become beasts instead of
men. lis true this is beautiful place,
but still it is prison."
GA PRISON." | exclaimed, "Not
much; leave by the next train"
The old man smiled a sad smile and
said:
"Alas! we can return to earth no
more. Soon your mind will grow
clouded and you will become insane on
account of having nothing whatever to
occupy your thoughts"
"1Iorrible" l gasped. "Is that
true"
The old man pointed to his compan-
ions, who had seated themselves on
the ground and were gazing about with
a stupid, vacant air.
"Once in a while, when a new per-
son arrives, they brighten up for lit
tie space of time, and their reason
sometimes returns; but then they are
sure to lapse back into their former
condition. l myself am growing more
stupid every day" said the old man,
sOrrOWfully."
"Well, Pm in a nice mess" [ said.
eff [ could get hold of that Spirit who
roped me into this celestial lunatic asy-
lum I'd knock his lung out. He's too
fresh, and thinks because he's got wings
he can put man in an asylum with
out commitment papers"
Beware" cried the old man, and, on
looking around to see what was the
matter, / saw the Spirit behind me.
''Ah?" cried. Good evening. How
do you do? Are you going to the ball
this evening"" meaning the earth.
Crash being, is this the return for
all my kindness?" said the spirit.
"9Our kindness be hanged! You're
a white-robed snoozer coming down to
earth and telling us people of the
grand, easy times you're going to give
them. You're an old lunatic-maker.
Take me back at once, as [ want to be
at the office at a. m"
"Foolish mortal, hast thou at last
found out that no pleasure is so sweet
as that which thou worketh for, and
that toll is far better than Supplying
idleness?".
''Oh, bother that! Are you going to
take me back?" cried.
NO." said the Spirit.
"Wel, tell me where the ticket office
is and [ will go myself"
"Rere thou art. and here thnn wilt