davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1881-10-14

No NEED TO HURRY.-Of course we
expect the generality Of snti.Con king
organs to flop. But they should be a little
decent about II. They should not erpsnd
all Of their slobber on the new President at
once. A newsboy who had been rudely
treated by q gentleman in front Of the Gait
House, came up and asked in an humble
way; mister, can you tell me, please sir.
what time il isg' The gentleman, moved
by the boys demure behavior, and withal
regretting his hasty temper, took out his
watch and said politely: at 10 exactly
IL O'Clock, my con Then says the
boy, won't you please, at exactly half past
IL O'Clock, 20 Hiss my foot?' and away he
ran, the gentleman after him. Hslf a
square % policeman stopped the gentle
man. Hold on, my good sir" says the
policeman. "What are you chasing thst
boy forg' To which the gentleman, out OF
breath, replied; "Why, the little scoun-
drel told me to kiss his foot at exactly
half past IL" The policeman took out his
watch, and, gazing at it . moment, said
deliberately; "well, upon my soul, you
needn', be in such hurry about il; you've
got at least twenty eight and half minutes
to go ON CD.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1881-10-14

A young man who lives in Austin, and
whose mustsche is like Faith-"the evil
dsnce of things hoped for, the substance
Of things not yet seen"-cslled on his pro-
spectivs father.in Law and gave notice that
he intended marrying the Old genlleman's
daughter at an early date. at had better
lake place On some Saturday, so that it
will not interfere with Jour school hours"
sareastically remarked the old man. -
Texas Siftings.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1881-10-14

One Of the Malley boys remarked the
other day that there would have been no
trouble over the body OF Jennie Crsmer il
the newspaper. had not taken the matter
up and made fuss about ii. Just 80. The
newspapers are largely responsible for the
troubles Of other people, Of course. People
murder, steal, lie, get drunk, whip their
wives, quarrel with their neighbors and
raise old Harry generally, and the news
papers print the facts, sometimes make =
fuss over them. and that makes the trouble,
don't you see? Clearly the newspapers are
responsible. How would 1t do to suppress
the newspapers, and let the murderers,
seducer., thieves, roughs and sneaks have
an uumolested good time - Jersey City
Journal.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1881-10-14
q WaraIss 10 GIrfs Who Lay Their
Cam Around.

n woman ~ Nyoctna VINO cheNr gum
writes Peek, laid her "quid" on a green
paper box, and when she came to chew il
again vas poisoned, and It was with diff
Guilty her life was saved. This reminds u-
Of an ,ccidsnt that happened to Mary
Anderson when she was here last Many
will remember that in the second scene Of
"lngomsr," wheu Psrthenia was winding
herself around the heart Of the barbarian,
she looked pale, aud whenever she would
try TO say sweet words TO him she acted a.
though she was on a lake excursion. Dur.
ing some Of the love passages We remember
a fsr-swsy look in her eyes, as though she
vas searching for the unfAthomsble, or
looking ior a friendly rail to lean over. and
when her bosom hesved with emotion she
acted as though she expected to hear from
down country, and doubted whether her
boots would remain on her fee, or throw
~ their situation. Those who sat In the
LEFT bo1 will remember that when she
thrs~ hsr head on 1rgomar'. shoulder she
spit cotton over toward the back Of the
stage, and acted like little girl that had
been eating tomatoes. Ingomar seemed to
notice that something vas the matter. and
he kept bis face As far from Parthenia as
the rules Of polite society would admit,
and the theory that she had been eating
onions. which va. advanced by a bald
ii -. a
many believers. However. that Was not
the case, As -e found by inquiring Of a
gen,l.manly supe. II Is we'll known thsi
Miss Anderson u addicted 10 the gum
chewing habit, and that when she goes
upon the .tsge she sticks her chew Of gum
on 90 old castle painted on the scenery.
There va. wicked young man playing
minor part in the play who had been treat
ell .cornfully by Mary. As he thought, and
he had been heard TO cay he would make
her sick. lie did. lie took her chew Of
gum aud spread II out 80 II was As thin as
paper. then placed q chew Of tobacco
inside. neatly wrapped il up, and stuck It
back on the old castle, Mary came of
~heu the curtain came down. and going
up to the castle she BIT like a bass Put
ting III. gum, which she had no idea va.
loaded. into her mouth. she mashed il
between her worries aud rolled il a. sweet
morsel under her tongue. IL il said by
those Who happened to be behind the
scenes that when the tobacco began 10 get
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1881-10-14
Am Old vvonsan's Adriee.

Aunt Rachel, writing to the Cincinnati
Enquire, says when you feel unwell
and think you must take medicine, for
goodness sake get the best" II you need
q remedy that will make you regular IN
your habits, give you a good natural Ape.
lite. make your skin clear and smooth, and
remove all spots and blemishss that indi-
cate ill-healtb; II you wish to be free from
mental depression, fretfulness, peeyishness,
waksfulnsss aud other di,Orders, use
Browns Iron Bitters."
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1881-10-14

The DAnbury N,us tells Of cat being
chloroformsd to death, buried in the
garden, and a rosebush planted over its
remains. The next morning the cat
appeared at the door to be let in, and had
the roeebush under its arm" The Ners
msn has Just received our promised prize
Of $40, 900 for the most beautiful lie in the
world. t Jersey City Journal. We can
beat that. We knew a cat that was drowned
in the creek. NEXT day the cat appeared
at the back window with the creek in its
back. I'll Whitehall Times.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1881-10-14

Mrs. Lucy +. Mccormick, Covington,
KY, writes; "My constitution was COM
pletely shattered by rheumatism. | suffer
cd intensely; stimulants only gave me
temporary relief. tried Browns Iron
Bitters. II has cured me completely, and
! believe permanently. After using two
bottles felt better and stronger than ever
did in all my life before"
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1881-10-14
To Remove DASDRurr.-This is a

To REMOVE DASDRUFF.-This is a
natural secretion, but becomes a cutaneous
complaint by neglect. Take an ounce Of
powdered borax, piece Of unslacked lime
the size Of chestnut, and tablespoonful
Of ammonia. Put them in quart bottle,
and fill it up with boiled or pump water.
After twelve hours apply this wash to the
scalp. Ladies can apply it best with
small sponge. Rinse with tepid water.
After few applications the scales will dis.
appear, the hair becomes soft and brilliant
and the young hair will be seen to start
out. Dandrufl should be cured gradually
so as not to produce sick headache or dzzi.
ness by its sudden suppression.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1881-10-14

II musket ball be fired through pane
Of glass, it will make hole the size Of the
ball without cracking the glass; il the
glass is suspended by thread it will not
even vibrate when struck by the ball.
Cork, il sunk two hundred feet in the
ocean, will not rise on account Of the pres
sure Of water. In the Arctic regions, where
the temperature is extremely cold, persons
can converse more than a mile apart. DIR.
Jamison asserts that he heard every word
OF q sermon at the distance Of two miles
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1881-10-14

A Major loved a maiden 80,
~. ~aflite heart vas son o. ~.
IIs OF would kneel 10 her and say,
Thou at nay HE. my only Re-.
"Aht n but hinder thou wonld'si 10,
Aud sometimes swee,ly smile on W.
"Thou art my lie, my guiding sisr,
love thee near, love thee "a.
my passion ! cannot control,
Thou art the idol of NV Sat"
The maiden said ooh, Ne ash Ia,
Hos ran you 60 on thus 2 Oh, 10 20
The Msiof ro-s from bended knee,
And vent her iathef Tor 10 ~.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1881-10-14

A LAcoSIc FEMALE.--A McGregor man
walked up street the other evening after
suffering all day at the rate Of 100 in the
shsde. at has been very warm day."
he said to woman With a broCm in her
hand. "ies, so a little boy told me this
afternoon" said the woman. The msn
thought thi. cool and struggled hard to
come 10 the surface With an appropriate
remark. children and fools always tell
the truth" he said, moving of. al have
never had any reason to doubt your
verscity," said the relentless female. Moral
Never joke with a woman when she is
q sweeping.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1881-10-14
set Hack AZ Years.

al Was troubled Tor many years with
kidney complaint, gravel, Nc; my blood
became thin; | Was dali and inactive;
could hardly crawl about; was an old
worn. olt man all over could get nothing
TO help me until J got Hop Bitters, and
now am a boy again. My blood and,
kidneys are all right, and am as active AS
man Of 80, although am ~, and have
no doubt il will do as we'll for others OF
my age. Il is worth trial.-Falher.-
Sunday Mercury.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1881-10-14
- - -

The expression Don't tear your shirt
originated in the Garden Of Eden, when
the proprietor drove Adam and Eve out
for stealing apples. Adam was so fright
ened that when they were packing up their
duds he tried to put the trunk inside Of q
shirt. II was then Eve said, "Hey old
man; don't tear your shirt im not gOin'
to git out Of here until l 81, ready, and
don't you lorgil it.'-IDittoe.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1881-10-14

An intelligent lady asked a sculptor,
who was about completing the figure of a
lamb. "Did you cut out that animal ,
"Oh, no. said the artist, "ths animal has
been there all the time. | only took the
marble from around him; that's all"
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1881-10-14
1 sweeping

"Shudge," said a Dutchmsn who was
pleading his own case in Court where he
was srraigned on a charge OF Islander,
"Shudgs, when a man make up dot he will
be schoundrel undt def undt shide-
boke, undt efery day de way dot he
behaves himself was der way dot advertise
he was a schoundrel undt Il def undl a
shideboks, vat is der matter nit der man
do, dells him he vas a schoundrel undt a
def undt a shideboke? lsh dere some
wrongness about dot? Undt il il ish,
where it ish. by shiminy? Il Yonkers
Gazette.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1881-10-14

A good many ten-thousand-dollar beat
ties who are travelling with eircuses this
Summer will be working in pickle faetc-
ries next Winter and scrubbing steps at
four dollars week-mark our words
San Francisco Post.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1881-10-14

An lllinoi, psp-r asserted that there 10
one acksss in our State Legislature" and
before noon Of the day on which the item
was published the editor received note
from every member Of the House, includ-
ing the Speaker, telling him to retract or
look out for libel suit, each member re-
garding il ms a personal hit. The man
alluded 10 was in the Senate.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1881-10-14


Wiener.wurst il an article Of street sale
peculiar to Cincinnati, and ils psddlers do
most Of their business at night. When a
cent j. handed TO the yender, he lifts the
lid Of his tin box, from which warm steam
comes ooling forth, seizes piece Of brown
paper and a slice Of black or rye bread,
daubs on the latter about tablespoonful
OF horsersdish, and then with a fork
produces the wiener wur.t-nothing more
than sausage, long and slenderly made,
OF reddish. beefy hue. II ispiping hot,
appeti1ing, and has sort Of flavor about
il that ia both strengthening and sayory.
Governor Blackburn will 70 TO lorkiown
Celebration aud take four or i've compa-
MES Of the State militia with him. II will
only cost the State about forty or fifty
thousand dollars to do this, but hes the
Gov, be Gswd, sab and will play the i'd
die while the people dance to the music.
Sun for the boys, but h-ll on the frogs.
l-lOwen News
The scales used lor weighing gold in the
assay office at New York are so dslieat,
that when brought to balance with tive
pieces Of paper Of equal size in the pam
the mere writing Of name with . lead
pencil on one Of the pieces Of paper viii
add enough weight TO the paper TO ,urr
| the scales In ia favor
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1881-10-14

A very sad incident occurred in Chicago
the other evening A young man and the
idol Of his soul, who were occupying the
chair, began talking about "Kismet." The
beautiful being on his knee said to tho
young man that she thought "Kismet' was
just too perfectly lovely for anything, but
he laughed loud, brutal laugh, and re-
piled that "kismet' was M good al ali
Then the girl began to cry, and he had to
promise her box Of candy and haul her
over to the other knee aud tell her how
much he loved her about seventy five times
before she would cease crying Mutual
explanations followed, when it trsn-pired
that he was referring to a bay msre With
a record of 9:i2l. while she meant the
book written by Miss Fletcher.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1881-10-14

A MYSTERY ExPLAIsED.-A good many
people wonder how il Is that they see
sticky hy-psper in drug store windows,
covered so completely with dead flies that
there does not seem 10 be room for anoth-
CT ny. and II they buy the paper and take
il home, where dies are as thick as three
in bed, they cant get dozen flies on the
shse, Of paper in week. The fact is that
the druggists and this We have from one Of
them in person. employ boys 10 catch flies
and stick them ON the paper. Some boys
make as high as $3.50 day catching lilies
Tor druggists, and in some localities these
boys have almost taken the last Ny in the
honse. Milwaukes Sun.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1881-10-14

Seek not to please the world. but your
own conscience. The man who has a feel
ing within him that he has done his duty
upon every occasion, 10 lar happier than he
rho hangs upon the smiles VI the great, or
the still more tickle iasons Of the multi
Jude.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1881-10-14

"GooD PEOPLE, ARIsE"-Oficers Of
the law are powerless unless the people aid
them. The minute man is killed, the
killer ought to be taken by the bystanders
and handed over to the law. II he is
guiltless, the Law will hold him 50; il not,
the people have done their duty to them
selves and their neighbors and the Law is
their protection. A hue and cry should
20 out after miserable murderers tina, will
make their lives burdens to them beyond
endurance. Ii is the only way TO stop
murder by making it as foul as it il. Dirty
scoundrels must know that the law is
powerful for their punishment or proieo-
tion, and that they are not the Law TO any
thing or anybody. Good people, arise and
shake oil this lsthsrgy. Let's have muir.
derers punished, and we will have no more
of it-f Richmond Herald.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1881-10-14

There was a novel sight in Virginia City
on Saturday. II was Of big Indian carry
ing papOo'e in his arms. The spectators
were beginning to express their surprise,
when his fqusw came YEARLY around the
corner, bending under the weight Of two
sack. Of nonr.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1881-10-14

After strict cross examination il wss
found that the old bachelor did not call
the thin female "hai, termsgant woman"
but he gave her the relort courteous in
these words "lou hatter me, esunt
woman" The Court cautioned him. how
ever, to speak more slowly and distinctly
in the future IIsckenssek Republican.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1881-10-14

The best preparation known in market
for restoring gray hair to lis original color
is Halls Vegetable sieilian Hair kenew or
Try IL
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1881-10-14

In Tuition, pliets range from 20 10 go ~ ~
regular departments. Primary, wa lnlefnieiiai.
$50, Preparatory, so, and Collegiate, 80.
Osage Valley banner. (Tuscumbia, Miller County, Mo.) 1879-1881, 1881-07-21
The Sunday sehOOI.


In looking over this vast expanse Of terri
tory where the primeyal forest stand Ia all
their ~gtandness, raggedneas and glory, how
sao II is 10 aod that we have 70 lew Sabbath
schooi,l
What . FIELD Tor lsbori These woods could
be made TO resound with sweeter music than
natures songaters. Those precious and i'm.
mortal souls that have been entrusted 60 our
keeping BY an alwise and merciiul Father
could be made pour out volumes OF song that
would reeound to Heaven. Precious little
iewebi--at situnes for . diGdem. Shall 20
great q subject be passed lightly byf Il there
a fond parent 10 the land but what would
rather have the ha,lowed Influence Of the
Sabbath school thrown Rbout their dear chill
dren, than to have them come In contact with
The pernicious and concentrating IbAueDces
that are 80 liable % BE- thrown around thsmf
Ny dear people, this 10 = question that should
engage your attention. No matter how
limited tbe number to start out ~with--gntheF
them 10 from the by.ways and highways.
Take the ragged little uFchins- TOR they
are the children Of some loving mother take
them all; no matter if they be ragged, under
that torn and soiled jacket there may be 81
warm and loving . heart az ever beat; re-
member these little boys some day make
men, and II they are properly trained they
will grow aud develop iu;o great men. La
the Sabbath be looked !or a. one OF the best
uhyt VI hhu Woths hhNo hto nlkic Oneb up
their faces and hands washed aud their hair
nicely combod. and with their olean ciothing
(no matter how plAin) 90, let The parents take
Them by the band and lead them TO the Sun.
day school. You have no idea how soon yon
will get 70 love it. Why, 70 bear your own
dear children sing the songs Of praises thst 10
ell probability you lang when boys aud girls
ought make the tear OF gladnass swell ap
within you. Ley this matter before your
shepard who visits you once . month. and We
know that be will be but too glad 10 lend hia
voice aud assistance. What q glAdSome sound
TO bear the sweet tones OF The Sabbath bell.
With . few soDgsteTs and bibles you could
spend most probably one hour OF each week;
and what an impression II would leave for
good on those plastic minds.
Thsn after all was over you coLld enter
into conversation and have q eool sociable
taIk-nO; to hurry 81 80 is SO often seen.
You have natures groves TO retire 70 and
pass = short time IN telling oyer your Toys and
sorrows.
Now viii some OF the good people out here
put forth q stronger effort than ever has been
made heretofore and see what Gao be dons
In organizing q Sunday schooli Ii Is mol
necessary that you have IL In the heat OF the
day, put II of till the cool OF the evening,
when the little ones will not be SO restlesl
and fAtiSued.
DEtIRous.
Osage Valley banner. (Tuscumbia, Miller County, Mo.) 1879-1881, 1881-07-21
THR ROYAL PATH OF LIFE.
IN LIFE THERR rs A ROYAL PATE. ALAS! ROW
THAT 8 MANY NOT BEING uRoED TO
sKKK LIFE'S PRIzEs, F-IL 10
I'M THKM.

The undersigned Is now agent Ia Miller
county for q book bearing the above name Or
''aids and aims 10 sucsees and happiness" by
J.. l.. Haynes and l.. w. Yaggy, author OF
'.Our Home Couceilor. A work adopted to
those who have become indifferent to life's
purposes. A comfort 10 those who have long
travelled on this Royal Path and serving 10
awaken the slumbeElng genus within the
youth, stimulate and lmpel them to noble
thoughts and sctions add lead them to honor,
success and happiness. Isl o work entirely
new there being nothing like IL before The
public, every page is Just alive with sparkling
truths. Nearly every line has 0 sublime
thought and Hashes With only the brightest
literary gems. IL begins with life and ends
with death aud contains every subject oil
interest on liie's pathway.
Knowing that She work will recommend
ltself without further description, | take
pleasure In ncing 10 the people oil
Miller County. that l expect to call before
many days aud give Won 9 chance OF obtain
Ing one OF the anest literary works o 10
ths market. IA. SON, Agt.
Rocky Mount, Mo.
Osage Valley banner. (Tuscumbia, Miller County, Mo.) 1879-1881, 1881-07-21

Prof. Swift, Director OF the Warner OBJ
aetvatory, Rochester. n. Y, has iast verified
The discovery OF another comet. IN the Con.
stellAtion OF AurigA, made July i4;h, by
Prot J. NJ. SchsebOrls. OF Ann Arbor, Mich.
This new GOMEZ 10 apparently coming direct
lv tow ara the earth, and. Tor q telescope com
Il, 10 very bright; indeed, 1t can readily be
seen With o good opera glass. Il is Qnite re-
mGrkable that 1t should be In Just the spot
where the present large comet was iirst seen
By the naked eye Ia this latitude, and y
shows that the two bodies must have crossed
each Others pAths. This mskes the fourth
comet discovered within ten weoks, q cir
canstance heretofore unknown Ia history.
Prof. Schaebtrle hAs duly hled hia applies
iton Tor the Warner prize OF 500, and ~
YET he is the only claimant
Osage Valley banner. (Tuscumbia, Miller County, Mo.) 1879-1881, 1881-07-21
KsfRAY KnfIcE.

Taken up by George Raed o! Glaze Town
ahip Ia Miller county, No., and posted be,
fore the undersigned Justice Of the Peace OF
Equality Township IN State and County
aforesaid, one stray horse Of the following
description, TO wit; A Surrel horse branded
with en- anchor on lett shoulder, scar on
right hind leg, saddle marked on back, sup
posed 70 be 8 years oil, near fifteen hands
high and appraised to 5000 by s. Popple-
we'll, Seth NJ. Robinson and X. Is. Reed.
Given under my hand this the 2 I day day Of
July, 1881. AMBROSE BRocEMAN, j. T.
Thereby certify the above TO be . true copy
OF the entries on nv stray book.
AHRRosR BRocKMAN, j. =.
Osage Valley banner. (Tuscumbia, Miller County, Mo.) 1879-1881, 1881-07-21
Stray HOfIUE.

Taken up by O. w. jesse and posted be-
fore I. Bunker n Justice OF the Peace In
Franklin Township, OF Miller County, Mo-,
on the 2Tth day OF June, 1881, the following
described property: One blind black mare
,eVun or eight years old, fifteen and one halt
hands high, q few white hairs 10 forehead,
a sear on each aide OF the neck supposed 60
be made by q roWel. branded on the LETT
shoulder with the letter J up and down. ano
appraised Ut thirty dollars by JJhn VaHn,
j. B. Vahn, J. Allen, duly sworn Tor the
purpose.
JulS74N. ISAIAH BUNKER, j. 7.
Osage Valley banner. (Tuscumbia, Miller County, Mo.) 1879-1881, 1881-07-21
ORDER OF PUBLICATION.

All persons interested IL the estate OF Bur-
rel w. Barris, Sr., deceased, ars hereby noti-
fed tnat & petition was fled al the November
term 1880, Of Miller county Probate Court
BY the administrator Of said estate praying
for al order 70 sell the real estate belonging
70 the estate Of Burrel w. BsrTis, deceased.
IL was therefore ordered By The Court that
unless The contrary be shown on the arst day
OF the next term Of the Probate Court OF the
said county Of Miller 70 be begun and held
at the Oourt-house In the town OF TuSeumblA
on the ID Monday In February, 1881, and
having Jailed 10 mske ihe publication, re-
quired ~ Law, said order 10 therefore renew
Cd Of the May term Of said Court, 8Sl, and II
the contrary be not shown on The Gfst day Of
the next term Of the Probate Court OF The
said county OF Miller 10 DO begun and held
at the COnFt-house In the town Of Tascumoia
on ths 2nd Monday In August, 1881. An
order will DO inside for tho sale Of The whole
or 90 much Of said real estate As VIII satisfy
the demands against said estate, I .wit
so acres e be Of SW az Sec, Is, 4. 40, X. Ia
40 SW a. OF Sc qt Is "
40 |" NV qr Of NE qr : ~,
80 " Il hi NE az 10, "
&c NV ar oiNW Or" 20.
So f" pt. SWqr OF NWqr :" 70,
All being situated Ia Miller county Mis-
souri,. Jam 8 u. ToDp,
Judge OF Probate.