Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1881-10-20

| MIKE DrlaT SueCldTaIlOll, ulSu oClOtO Ol"hS
Bumbleton. was a very threatening and fear
full instrument 1t bristled all over. 1t sci
forth, among other things, that Hoscraft, "by
instergation of the devil (Mike's orthography
was his own, and agin the peace and dignity
of tho people, and with malls foretho't with
gun, pistle, 'nife, club, stick, stone, or some
other dangerous thing, shot, cut, knocked
smashed or in some other way, killed Jones
dog, to Jones damage of one hundred dol
lars" Mike had picked this all out from
precedents of indictments and declarations
so as to make it strong, as he said. He had
ten counts, but the whole were substantially
the same; but Mike wanted his papers claw
yerlike."
"Old Dot and.go.one" put in the plea.
This was name the defendants attorney had
ACQUIRED in Buzzardtown. He was wooden
legged mana superanuated justice, who was
somewhat in years, and he had taken to the
"bar." He practiced at all the "bars" in the
country-before the landlords and the jus.
tices-and was equally able at either.
Mike Briar called up the suit and opened
the case, and put Tabitha Tweedle on the
stand. She was woman of about fifty
years of age, raw-boned, took snuff, incessant'
ly, and evidently had story to tell.
"Know Jones ?" inquired Mike.
"Yees," answered Tabtha.
"Hoscraft?"
"Yees."
"The dog ?"
"Yees."
"Well, what do you know about the dog?'
~, ovnlo ipooA for
defendant "the dog amt no party here"
After long argument, Bumbeton decided
that the dog was "kinder party" to the suit.
"Wal," continued Tabitha, "you want to
know all bout Jones, and Hoscraft, and
that 'ere dog. To begin, then: Mrs. Jones
and old Mrs. Brown-Mrs. Jones, you know,
was Curtis fore she got married old Sim
Curtis darter-lived down on the Mohawk !;
that is, Mrs. Jones lived down on the Mo-
hawk the darter was born in Buzzardtown;
let me see, she must be twenty. five years old,
enymost-and as 1 was saying, Mrs. Jones
and old Mrs. Brown-pshaw Mrs. Jones
is MORN twenty-five years old what am
thinking bout, she's thirty, sartin; cause
nv Liza and she's bout, of an age, and my
Liza is-is-is-Mr. Tweedle! Mr.. Twee-
die how old is our Liza" inquired the wit
ness, and the old lady rose from her seat and
peered through the crowd for Mr.. Tweedle
A voice came struggling through the mass
of people, but no Tweede was seen-"Dun
know"
Observation-Disclosures Liza is!
Dear mer and Mrs. Tweedle sat down.
"Mrs. Tweedle," exclaimed Mike, what
do you know about that dog ?"
"Jest coming to that" exclaimed Mrs.
Tweedle. Don't be in such pesky hurry !;
let woman breathe, won't ye? Mrs. Jones
and old Mrs Brown"
Don't say Jones an Brown agn," snap.
ped out Mike. "Talk about that dog"
Mrs. Tweedle said, "she should tell the
truth, and talk about Jones, or Mrs. Jones,
and all the Joneses, if she wanted to. AS |
was saying" continued the witness
Briar told the witness to "stop ?"
Squire Bumbleton said she might Ego on"
"As WIS saying-Mrs. Jones and Mrs
Brown-that is. Wal, now, thar; you've
lest put me out, and I don't know nothing
where was. 1 wish the dog was in Bally.
hak. (Here she took snuff violently Wal
at any rate" said she, rallying, "the dog is
dead, that's fact; and Mrs. Quipes told me
that Cinda Clark told her"
"No hearsay evidence here!" cried old
Dot.and-goone.
mo hear.say no hear-say evidence !" re-
peated Mrs. Tweedle-"can't tell what you've
heerd; faint la, ha then guess you can
do your own swearin', shan't. | didn't see
no dog killed." And Mrs. Tweedle took
another pinch of snuff, blew significant blast
herself, "Can't tell what you've heer'd !"
"Hurrah for old Mrs. Tweedle!" cried
two or three of the Jones parry, as she retired
under flying colors.
Squire Bumbleton started up from doze,
filled his pipe afresh during the excitement,
gave a grunt, shifted his legs, and leaning
back, TRANQUILITY blew out long jets Of smoke
from the right corner of his mouth.
Joe Racket was the next witness called.
Joe was "swft witness" in every sense of
the word He came driving through the
multitude, and presenting himself before the
magistrate, with his hat and overcoat on,
raised his right hand and exclaimed: "Go
ahead, SQUIRE"
"Name?" inquired Bumbleton.
"Joseph w. Racket-W. stands for Wa
ters-Joseph TVaters Racket-mother was a
Waters-'longd to York State Waters
Sch'har Waters--"
"That'll d." said the Squire.
Joe was sworn, and before the oath was
fully administered, he launched out like an
arrow, without waiting for any questions, as
follows:
"Know Jones--know Hoscraft--live clus
near one another-Joncs young man, Hos
craft old--have seed the dog-psrt bull, part
terrier-good for COWS, bad for sheep--Jones
and Hoscraft quarrel'd bout geese-Hos,
crafts geese came home picked-Hoscraft
said Jones picked 'em--Jones said it was an
internal lie-was down to Hoscraft's tother
night-said I to Hoscraft, said l, how do you
and Jones make it nows"
Hold on :" exclaimed old Dot-and. go-one,
in voice of thunder.
"No, he didn't," continued Racket "didn't
say nothing bout holdn' on-Hoscraft and
Jones never did hold on-they were going it.
! Said he-that is, said Hoscraft-said he to
me, after the old sort'-fre and tow all the
while, said land there'll be more fire than
tow by.and.by,' said he-and that is all
| know-got all ap pint ment down at Deers
vile at o'clock-half past one now-witness
fees quarter 'spcse-Squire can credit that. D
Whereupon Racket made dive for the door
but the defendants attorney, who had become
magnetized with wonder, having recovered
called him back for cross. examination.
Old Dot-and go.one might as we'll have at
tempted to cross examine streak Of light
ming. Racket. in answer to bis questions