Weekly Chillicothe crisis. (Chillicothe, Livingston Co., Mo.) 1878-19??, 1881-04-28
ITEMS OF INTEREST.

e takes life cheerfully.
! Great Britain is said to have $550,0OO
= invested in American railroads.
: A man who is born in mid-ocean is
Y completely at sea as regards his ma
. tivity.
!. Edison is now perfecting an inyen-
n tion to draw cold water from Watch
!, spring.
n There's something about France
= that we love, notwithstanding her
t Gaul. That's franc.
S The slightest sorrow for sin is sufii-
' cient, if it produced amendment; the
5 greatest is insufficient, if it do not.
What shall we think of thehonesty of
> the dealer who invites ladies to call and
see his invisible nets for the hair?
"a babe" saws Il writer, sis moth.
er's anchor We have often heard
that the first thing they do is 10 weigh
, it.
A man named Tassell drowned him
, self in PittSburg the other day. Too
= much corn in the TlSsell was what all
, him.
The man who will invent Il door that
can't be left open and can't he slam
med will win not only a fortune, but
the thanns Of millions.
Things aren't always what they seem;
skim-milk oft is sold for "crcam;" men
on Sunday knecl in prayer, then on
Monday lie and swear.
"My wife is shut up with rheuma-
tism,' said a husband. 81 wish my
wife could take it," sighed ncighbor
who had garrulOus mate.
The Syracuse Standard asks: "Will
some one tell us what Mrs. Langtry's
maiden name was2" Certainly. Her
maiden aim was to marry Mr. Langtry.
"What does Good Friday mean?'
asked one schoOlbOy Of another. "You
had better 90 home and read your
Robinson CrusOe,'" was the whitening
reply.
The milk train does not stop at
whey stations, because she has a cow
catcher on board; besides, she is afraid
another train might butter off the
track.
Teacher-"What are the principal
races of men," Smart boy at the foot
of the class-"GO-as.yOu please races,
num-" And the smart boy was more
than half right
Even married life is not without its
trouble. Winnie Ream IIoxie is going
to make bust of her husband. He
will not be the first man that has gone
Oh bust because of lovely woman.
When winds of spring sweep down the
street,
And pierce one through and through,
Then ladies do not StOOp to greet
Each other when they chance to meet,
Unless their clOaks are new.
A preacher, who had once been
printer, thus concluded a sermon:
"Youth may be compared to comma,
manhood to a semi-colon, and old age
to a colon, to which death puts peri
od."
Saying sharp things doesn't pay. 1t
may crafty your spite at first, but it IS
better to have friends than enemies,
and if you cannot make people happy,
at least refrain from adding TO their
misery
Gossip is the peculiarly of small
mind. Some people don't know
enough TO talk about the greatness of
things, and so they talk about the lit
tleness of persons. The expression of
their own shallOwncss is what we call
gossip.
Don't sit so far away from me"
st. Louis girl said to her lover, as they
were steaming up the river with an ex-
curSion; don't SIT so far away and
turn your back to me that way; people
will think we are married"
The Burmese bible is so bulky that
it cannot conveniently he carried about.
The Nernacular is extremely large. 1t
is proposed to reduce the size of type
and produce Il portable bible like those
of many of the Indian tongues.
A machine has been invented which
can make 100000 cigarettes day.
The consumption of cigarettes in 1850
amounted to IOS,0OO.OO0 and it is esti-
mated that 1,O00,0000O0 will be re-
quired to supply the demand for 1881.
Can | give my son college educa-
tiOn at hOme?' asks fond parent.
Well, you may be able to teach him rs
much of Greek and Latin and mathe-
MATES as the college could, but you can
never so thoroughly imbue him with
the idea that everybody elseis IL blamed
fool
A rich ScOtchman, at the point of
death, said to his pastor: "DO you
think that if left 100000 TO the Pres
byterian church my soul would be
saved?' 81 can't promise you any
thing" answered the good man, after
a second thought; "but it's worth
trying"
A corporation has been recently or
ganized in Boston, with q capital Of
$1,000, to finish the bottoms of boots
and shoes by u new invention. 1t is
claimed that by the aid of the mach
inc 600 to 800 boots can be finished by
one operator in one day, where $50 to
200 are now done by hand.
Letters from the United States for
places in Cuba should be prepaid by
postage stamps and not by stamped
envelopes, as the general Post-ofii,e
there does not recognize the stamped
envelope, and double rates ARE charged
on letters under such enclosures, the
same as if they had not been prepaid.
johnson certainly was very gruff
old fellow. While he was talking very
learnedly one of the company laughed.
Thoroughly indignant, johnson turned
on him and said: "What provokes your
sirp Have l said anything
that you can understand If / have
l ask pardon from the rest of the COM
pany.'
Mr.. Bradlaugh was called into the
lobby few nights ago and accosted by
a lively-looking young man, who very
invited his acceptance Of a
case inclosing an address, and small