Litchfield enquirer., 1881-12-15
CLIPPINGS.

 once, and who eau give good references.
 CLIPPINGS.
 Tonsoral artists ''cut and comb again.
 .Chnamen don'trock the cradle they make the sky rocket.
 The proverb says: s"'The good die vnung.' And it is mighty tough proverb on Thurlov Weed. .as@@ -es@ -a+- '@& ~f+
 2. At last we have fathomed the depth of the mystery. The Keely motor is run by ''crank - -
 : Josiah Flagg. of 1776. was the first Ameri- can dentist. and. since Josiah's time, dentistry has never Jagged
 When ''The Colonel" IS played in Carolina every man in the vicinity will go to see if be is the hero of the play.
 We always enjoy greenback meetings. when the meeting happens to occur between greenback and ourself. young author lives in an attic because one is rarely able to live on his first story. It is we'll that Secretary Hunt calls the es- pecial attention of congress to the navy. It might have been overlooked otherwise.
 A Chicago man will write "a history of rum drinking" The first fifteen volumes will be devoted to Chicago's share of the business
 If you want .o read sensible instructive and elevating book. go to any public library and ask for the one that is called for the least.
 'Ask no woman her age,' says a recent writer on social ethics. Of course not Ask her next best lady friend. She will never fail to give the information.
 Kansas depositors are not given to much verbosity in their dealings with defanlting bank officers. "Pay up or die" is their ulti matun. A Wisconsin man stole thirty-nine sheep and a steer. but the warrant charged him with stealing thirty-nine steers and sheen. and he left the court room with all his reputation re- stored.
 When Boston woman wants a divorce she gets witnesses to swear that she has just dis covered her husband to be Cincinnati man, and the court releases her from the disgusting mesallance at once.
 A Wyoming newspaper says man in Col ofado short time ago was sentenced to life of solitary confinement. and the judge con demned him to serve out the balance of his days in the greenback party
 The cable reports that Sarah Bernhardt was stoned in Odessa because of her Jewish origin. VIvntn h.~ l~s>l. T since she was in Chicago there IS not much danger of her being hit
 A useful employee: ''No," said tl.e pIum- Der of his assistant "Harry isn't much cf a workman but he's profitable man for me. He's such masher that the cooks will keep the water pipe frozen up all the time, so as to have him around" @ A man in Omaha blew on lung tester. and broke it all to smithereens. And the owner of the machine gazed at him sadly and said :: eff I'd known you were Chicago drummer, I'd have seen you elsewhere before I'd have let you at the machine"
 When Boston policeman hits a malefactor over he>head with his truncbeon, the dying man observes in one of the deceased languages ''Peeler. morituri te salutamus;" ;" and the peei- CT not only understands him, but hits hlm an other rap if he makes false quantity.
 A sad young poetess of Michigan sends us rhyming wall about the ''bare brown fields and naked trees" Young woman, you'd bet ter send the poem to the Police Gazette. and let them illustrate it. It would be a bonanza for them, but we can't use it in family pa- per. Y E -E s 
 Some idiot in England is going to publish a book on the form. shape and general character of the hands of distinguished men, and Mr. Gladstone has allowed the author to take a general outline of his hands. The only hands of any distinguished men that have any real interest for the public are those of General Schenck. ra II must say that very much dislike this ostentatious furnishing /" remarked the elderly Miss Pringle, as she looked about her in the new home of the Springletons: s'Now, look at that great. elaborately-framed mirror. I declare, can see nothing beautiful in it '' ''Yo ou shouldn't expect impossibilities, Miss Pringle, " remarked Fogg, the villain.
 A prudent young man is asked by his friend l; s'Why have you taken your lodgings on the ground foor-you who are always preaching that there IS no air fit to be breathed to be had short of five stories up ?" 'I will tell ysh, :" he replies 'sYou see. I have taken solemn oath that unless Miss O. a grees to marry me, I will throw myself out of the window. SeePv2 2 Hsz& sf 9f5 5tsSs$5 59 S.'+s .>s'
 A South end professor who reads mans character by his signature spent three days in trying to figure out Longfellow's autograph Somehow it would show up the venerable poet as a man who liked to bet on horse races, go to variety shows, and howl. round nights And of course the professor wasn't that sort of a man, and he couldn't make it come out any other way and went nearly wild till he found the autograph was a forgery. $ 4 Alderman Tucker, Boston, says you may state that have paid for medicine and treat ment in % years $3 900, without receiving permanent benefit. Entirely cured of his dis ease (salt rheum) by Cuticura Remedies.
 H. E. Carpenter, Esq, Henderson, N. r., cured of Psoriasis or Leprosy, of twenty years standing, by the Cuticura ResoIvent internal ly, and Cuticura and Cutlcura Soap external