Public ledger. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1865-1893, 1881-06-13
1.-THE BABIEs.D

The Babies. As they comfort US in our
sorrows, let us not forget them in our
festivities and to this Samuel L. Glenn
ens responded. he said:
l like that. We have not all had the
good fortune to be ladies. We have not
all been generals, or poets, or statesmen
but when the toast works down to babies
we stand on common ground laughter
for we'all have been babies. Renewed
laughter. 1t is a shame that. for a thou
sand years, the worlds banquets have
utterly ignored the taby laughter, as
If he didn't amount to anything Laugh
ter. Ifyou will stop and think a min
ute-if you will 90 back fifty or a hun
dred years 10 your early married life
laughter and recontemplate your first
baby you will remember that he amount
ed to a good deal, and even something
over. LRoars. Your soldiers know
that when that little fellow arrived at
family headquarters you had to hand in
your resignation. Laughter. He took
entire command. You became his lack
ey-his mere body-servant-[laughter
aud you bad to sand around, too. IRE
newedl laughter. He was not a com.
mander who made allowances for time,
distance, weather, or anything else.
IConvulsive screams You had to exc
cute bis order whether it was possible or
not. LRoars.] And there was only one
form of machioery in his manual of tao
ties, aud that was the d~oublequick.
Shouts. He treated you with every
sort of insolence and disrespect-[laueh
terl-and the bravest of you didn't dare
.ay a word. [Great Laoghter.] You
could face the deaih-storm Of Donelson
or Vicksburg, and give back blow for
blow, but when he clawed your whiskers
and pulled your hair, aud twisted your
nose, you had to take it Roars When
the thunders of war were sounding in
your ears you set your faces towards the
batteries. aud advanced with steady
tread, but when he turned on you the
te-rors of his warwhoop laughter, you
advanced in the other direction. aud
mighty glad of the chance, too. IRE
newed laughter. When he called for
soothing syrup, did you venture to throw
out any side.remsrks about certain ser
vices being unbecoming an officer and a
gentleman? LBoisierons laughter, No.
You got up aud got it [Great Laughter ]
When he ordered his pop bottle and it
was not warm, did you talk back ?
Laughter. Not you. [Renewed laugh.
ter You went TO work and warmed II.
lShluts. You even descended so far
in your menial Office as to take a suck at
that warm, insipid stuff, just to see if it
was rigbt-tbr e parts water to one of
milk-[lumultuous laughter "a touch
of sugar to modify the collie [laughter]
and a drop of peppermint to kill those
immortal hiccOughs. lRoars. | can
taste that stuff. Laughter. And how
many things you learned as you went
along Sentimental young folks still
take stock in hat beautiful old saying
that when the baby smiles it is because
the angels are whispering to him. Very
pretty, but too thin-simply wind on the
stomach, my friends. [Shouis.] If the
baby proposes to take a walk ut bis
usual hour-two o'clock in the morning.
Llaughter]-d'dn't you rise up promptly
and remark, with a mental addition
which would not improve a Sunday
school book much laughter that that
was the very thing you were about TO
propose yourselfl LGreat roars. Obj
You were under COED discipline laugh
ter, and as you went faltering up and
down the room 10 your undress uniform
laughter you not only prattled undig'
nifed baby talk, but even turned up your
martial voices and tried to sing Rock.
a-hy baby in the tree top" for instance.
LGreat laughter What a spectacle for
an army of the Tennessee. Laughter.
And what an affection for the n~eighbors,
zoo, Tor it is not everybody within a
mile around hat likes military music al
three in the morning. Laughter. And
when you had been keeping this sort Of
thing up two or three hours. and your
little velvet head intimated that nothing
suited him like exercise and noise
| laughter; go on" what did you dol
You simply went on until you dropped
into the last ditch. daughter. The
, idea chat a baby doesn't amount to any
! thing Why, one baby is just . house
and front yard full by itself. Laugh
ter. One baby can furnish more bust
ness than you and your whole Interior
Department can attend to. [Laughter.
. he IS epte' prising, irrepressible, brimfu
| of lawless activities. Laugh er d.
what you please you can't make hin
s stay on the reservation [Great shouts,
;. Sufficient unto the day is one baby
Laughter. As long as you are in you
t right mind don you ever pray for twins
Laughter. Mr.. Clemens is the fa'he
Of a p.ir Twins amount TO a petma
I nent riot. [Laugbter.] And there ain
e any real Inference between triples AM
\ an insurrection. [Uproa'ious shouts
Yes it wss hig1 t ms for a toast to thu
G masses to recognize the importance o
the babies. [Laughter. Think what
in store for tie present crop Fifty
+. ye4rs from now we shall be all dead,
G ttust-[laughte land her this flag, j
J, it It'll survive and let US hoOe it msyl
/, will he floating over a r public number
i ing 200, 600, 900 souls, according to th'
settled laws of our Increase. Our pres
G ent schooner of Slale-laug' ter viii
have grown into a political levia han
S a Great Eastern. The Graded babies o
, to-day will be on deck. Let them b.
q well trained, for we are going TO leave
: big contract on their hands Laugh
9 ter Among the three or four million
cradles now rocking ia the land ar,
some which this nation would preserve
+, for ages as sacred things, if we coulC
know which ones they are. In one o.
I, these cradles the unconscious FarraQu0
s is at ttis moment eething--[laug ter.
= think of it, and putting in a word o.
: dead earnest, inarticula ed, but per ectly
justi6able, profanity overit too. Laugh
9 ter In another, the future renowned
h ash onomer is blinking at the shining
j milky way with but a liquid interest, poo
@ little chap and wondering what has be
come of that other one they call the we.
! nurse. TLaughter. In another the fu