Daily Republican., 1881-11-03
THE DIFFERENCE.

superior for permission to be absent
forty-eight hours on family affairs, and
received an affirmative answer. How
ever, he did not appear the whols of
the week and 10 one knew TO what
cause 10 attribute his absence. On
Monday he reappeared at the r,gular
hour:
We'll, monsieur" demanded his
employer, "why have You stayed away
all 'ne week?'
"iou, sir said the clerk, Gave me
permission"
"I gave you leave for forty-eiyht
hours only, and not for slx days.
Il neg your pardon, sir" answered
the young man, 81 have only taken the
exact time which you granted me. We
work here six hours q day and six
tunes eight are forty light. certainly
had no occasion to ask your permission
for the night, any more than for the
hours which do not owe to the ad.
ministraliou."
This was logical; but since that day
the chief specifies the administrative
hours to the leave he grants.
SHE WAS TROUBLED.
"Boy.' said woman who came
around the corner with market bask
ct on her arm, have you seen my
dog"
"Black >"
"No he is white dog"
"Big?"
"No, heis quite small"
"Savage?"
"No he Is very mild"
Let's see" mused the boy, as he
scratched his bead in a vigorous man.
ner 81 hain't noticed nothin' nor no.
body 60 past here except crcss-eyed
man who was s'aving drunk, all COW
erred with mud
ooh, he was nothing but my hus-
band, and | just pushed him into the
wood shed to sleep his liquor off, but
| IN really corcerned for tear that my
dog has got lost or stolen. If you find
him III give you a nickle. - TX.
KIIBLE MISTAKE.
A young lady in Palmyra, Wayne
county, was terribly sh )cked last week.
Ibei"x sent for some tlDur she took out
OF bureau drawer what she supposed
to be a clean pillow case, and bounced
into the store with "a regular tOOthache
smile Oh her tace. The clerk took the
rec, p; acie and putting it into the bin
proceeded with deliberation to fill it
lhcui--ior upon lifting it ont the flour
all ran on. Iii. bottom, disclosing a pair
Of ueatly trinsed Summer clothes. As
the young lady saw what they were,
she ''llt out, nor has she been there
for her tlJur since.
"THE MAN O AIRLIE."
"How did you like Lawrence Barrett
in The Man o Airlie?' Inquired one
lady Of another on Wednesday Of last
week, il Boston, as they met on the
st,eet and exchanged the theatre ex-
periences Of the previous night. "On !.
he was pleIdid and had such all ele-
CANT time. Why, after the first act |
cried all the time, and in tho Light |
woke up and thought ofit and cried
aud cried some more. 1t was perfect
ly delightful" such is the superior
susc ptihility Of woman; several men
were seen 10 90 ont and "smile' be-
tween the twu most affecting acts.
'rwAS'A rEHRIBLE MOMENT.
The man was evidently drowning,
whilo the crowd on shore stood helpless
and hnlriied. At this juncture some
one yellcu: "On, for d bJat.' But
there Was no boat within ten miles.
The suspense became awful and the
sun sank into the west ike bloody
puupkin. All at once IA female voice
was heard above the roar OF the break
ers: Never mind the boat; take one
uf my snoYs." 1t was the voice of IA
heroic Chicago woman, and the ap-
plauoe that greeted it was heard three
miles at sea.
KEEP 1T PRETTY CLEAN.
A Camden man was in the city yes
Lsrday supplying himself with furnish
ing goods. You call this good dura'
hIr cloth in these shirts, don't y.u?'
g 'Durableo Yss, sir. there is no better in
tne market. Here is this shirt | have
IN; I've worn it a year "Great guns.
How the old woman would give it t.
me if | didn't change my shirt often
er than that. Keep it pretty clean
though mister
WIND BLOwETH WERE 1T LISTkTH.
A gteat many curious and funny
stories are told of good Mather Bylts,
" no could not repress his comicalitles,
ard who was j1ose in spite Of his puri-
tanism. One cold winter day he was
mailing lis. on his door. A parishoner
said: "Doctor, don't you know that
the wind bloweth where it listeth?'
'Yes," was the quick reply, land L
know also that every man OF common
sense listcth wheresoever the wind
Dloweth."
APPEARANCE AGAINST HIM.
A lady wrote another lady friend in
viting her by post card to call, as she
b. ..I something 10 tell her. She added
that she would not disclose the nature
Of the communication she wished to
make As the post office clerk would be
sure to read it. When the lady received
he post r from tho official at the Of
Iice he sal sarcastically, that is a
libel. ,l."-Appearances were
,st.iuaJ the truth of his allegation.
lie WENT WEST.
A man who went West to "grow up
win the country" Las returned. He
cot there Just III time T., get acquainted
win tol nado that was uoing a little
visiting III that section. Tie tornado
:o,.k III IN up al exceeding ly high dis
tauce and showed him all the possess
,lons OF the earth aud let him drop
again. He says he has grown enoDg h
ID the last few days to satisfy him for
lli the rest of his natural life.
DISTRESS
sven when positive or superlative, Is
still only comparative. "Such is the
Of tho time in our town." said
. Birmingham manufacturer to his
AGENT in London, "that We have good
workmeu who will ge. up the inside Of
\ watch for eighteen shlllings." "Pooh
that is nothing compared to London
replied his friend; 1--WE have boys here
Who will get up .he inside of u chimney