Delaware state journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1870-1883, 1881-02-24
HERE AND THERE.

A Boston woman has had five divorces.
Some people seem born to have fun
The boy who is we'll shingled by his
parent will shed water.-L0aoeN Citizen.
The Detroit Free Press man thinks he
can mesmerize bull dog. But we'll bet
he don't try 1t unless the dog is tied.
They say Roscoe Copkling never swesrs
Ard yet he isn't exactly considered q
model mau by some Of the truly good
The maddest man about is the one who
endured vaccination, only to find out,
Afterwards, that it didn't prevent jim jams.
Mr. Talmage says to his congregation /:
1--WE have been bathed In tirery ice"
That must be the torrid aone.--American
Queen.
1t is incumbent on great man to make
an Gss of himself once in while, SO as to
display the ecceptricity that sppertains to
true genius.
There are indications that Bob IngeIsol
is to join fire company. -L0uisoille
Courier journal. If you mean he is going
to die, say SO.
The Philadelphia -Neaos heads an article /:
"How 10 teach children to lie." No need
of it in that city. Trust 'em to take after
the old man.
And now Grant has been made bank
president. Is this scheine of the wicked
Democrats to get him to leave the country
and stay away2
The Cleveland Herald warns its readers
against indiscriminate charity. Now it
had better warn them against inventing
perpetual motion. .--..
Baltimore mems hobby is health. When
one OF them lies down in the gutter for a
drunken sleep he takes pains to have his
head to the north.
Some of the so-oalled comic valentines
are brutal ard needless stahs in the dark.
-PhiladeLPhta Neaos. What sore point
did you get hit on?
They say that reaently G1n. Sherman is
developing great weakness to kiss all the
young and pretty girls he meets. As men
grow older they grow wiser.
A New York policeman gave civil
answer to civil question the other day,
and was, of course, sent to an insane
asylum.-PAilodelphia Ne,os.
Enquirer We can't tel. you of what
particular species the sea serpent is, never
having seen him, but we should say he
was sea gull.-BOstoh Post
A Brooklyn man hates a plumber as he
does truth. He doesn't want any outsider
making love to his cook and then charging
for it, hosides.-B Boston Post.
M one ever yet saw man who made o
move TO separate two dogs engaged in
battle, so long as his own dog was having
the best of it,-Detr0H free Press.
Novn. 1,,,,;os ,.s,aII ,l;.as mi. n.
will get over more ground, in proportion
to his size, in one second than an elephant
will cover in an hours travelling. .-Bost0n
Transcript.
Rev. MIR. Slieer, a protege of Mr..
Beecher, has cut the Orthodox faith -
Mem York COmmercial Advertiser. So has
Baecher and he's sly, sir, too.-Phila-
delphia Bulletin.
The boested British victory over the
Beers Ia very much like the fight won by
the man who held his antagonist on top
of him and wouldn't let him up.-Nelo
HdgeR Register.
Alex. Stephens feels very proud of a
| gain of two pounds, and man who wants
bill passed, tried TO fiattsr Alex. the
other day by assuming to mistake him for
Senator David Davis.
Doctors now recommend the intro
ductiou of kid or goat iuto the bursery
as healthfll companion for the children.
The doctors evidently know their little
biz Syracuse Herald
When . contribution box robber comes
to look over the collection of bad nickels
and buttons he has captured, he cannot
help feeling that there are disgustingly
mean Inen i'll this world.
After careful inspection of The paint
ings 10 the house of the people, we are
more than ever convincedof the truth of the
proposition that the weakest go to the
wall.-BostoR Transcript.
An exchange says it will do no good to
pray for US. Now If that means we are
sure Of salvation anyway, why Well stand
treat, but if it means t'other way, it's q
blamed lie,-Bost0n Post.
A Connecticut paper advises its readers
not 10 use whiskey to start fire. The
insinuation that its readers need any such
caution as that In enough to arouse them
to mobbiug the editors Office.
Mrs. Livermore believes that there is
SOME way to touch the right chord in a
/ bad boy y heart and she is experimenting.
! Maybe she Will find something better than
! the bootjlck. Detroit Free Press.
Il is asserted that since Beecher said
1 there you'd be a great deal of good society
/ il hell ss well as heaven, Edwards Pierre
popt and Cyrus w. Field have got 10 they
don't care much which place they go to-
Boston Post.
It is true, as the preacher says, that we
! should not strive to lay up wealth on earth,
/ but cut down the salary of any one OF
them and see how quick he'll lay his plans
to yet ''call' at the old figure. Detroit
| Free Press
/ ChIpptta, ihs U;e lhief 0nrsy's widow,
1 recently sebt Secretary Schusz her late
! husbands lvggingH, pOSd-r horn, aud
! toi gceo pouch. Carl, look out. Beware
| af the widnxs Ilis looks like a clear
case of mash.
/ John H. Cough adults that if one of his
snspender buttons hNd given away during
his bsat public lecture his oratory would
never have been heard OF again The world
may be sGi1 20 rest on Plus aud needles -
BetroH Free Press
There are five women living who can
tell Mrs Garfield inst where the white
house pipes are most likely TO burst.
| They are Mrs. Polk, Mrs. Tyler, Mrs.
/ lincoln, Mrs. Grant sad Mrs. Hayes. -
Phiadelphia Nens 5...
| The coming man will have to be perfect
/ 10 body, brain and nervous system. Mrs.
L'vermore. That is what they all say
| but when he comes with well-filled
| puckotbnok the answer is generally "yes." T"
-Phihdelpaia Ners.
| Auy Ohio man can become famous in "a
/ hours. HQ has only to whisper into a
4 reporters ear that be don't want an Office,
aud the phenomenal fact will be tele-
| praphad all over the country. PhiladeL
1 phia NtatS Yes that the champion liar is
| ;ouud
Tbs Detroit Free Press says "Scotoh
ministers are telin4 tneir congregations
ihat such amusepient- Us cricket, cruquet,
4 billiards and cards are quite proper for
4 SuIdiy afternoon. They PROBABLY thought
that was the only way to stop their use on
that day.
Tha deepest perpendicular shaft in
existence Is the Alderbert shaft in a silver
lead mine in Przibram, Bohemia, which is
$3.50 feet deep. Twenty years ago a
mine 10 Hanover reached depth OF 1900
feet, while thare are numerous shafts that
reach 1000 feet.
The Rev. }, v. Backman of Arlington,
ILL.,, got drunk on communion wine,
whipped his wife, and broke nearly all of
the parsonage furniture. When it became
known that the wine at his church has 80
much fun in it, there will be big increase