davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1881-06-29

"No, sir. We haven't had fish in the
house tor 8 year"
Wasn't it possible that he might have
swallowed a hair pin"
mo, sir. I've counted my hair pins and
none are missing"
do you ever buy poison to kill rats?"
'tNever."
sWere you home when the Eule was first
taken :"
Il Wss.'
"And you knew bis ailment was bolts
Eyes, sir
"And you told your husband so?"
Il did"
'.Mrs. Smith, do you call yourself a horse
OF a mule doctor ?"
1.NO. sir"
Gwen, how are you SO certain that this
mule died Of bolts ?"
because I am.
Il want q plain answer. How are you 50
certain that The mule died Of botts?'
SWELL, I looked him ell over, and he didn't
have the measles. chicken-pog, W%hooping-
cough Or dumb ague. Ny husband looked
him all over, and he didn't have poll evil,
collie, sweeny or blind staggerq, then We knew
it must be botts.'
Glow did you know?"
Glow did | know?' she echoed in an IN
djgnant voice. "Do you suppose I've kept
house for thirty-tWo years and been the
mother Of eleven children and not know what
the bolts are? Why, I've had 'em q dozen
times myself, and the old man here would
have died with 'em il March if I hadn't put
on mustard poultices and 1rawn EN- out Of
his system by way OF his feet! Bolts why
[ know 'em from Dan to Bersheeby J"
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1881-06-29
Opinions OR Sarah sernsaarssg's Possible
Marriage.

Il told her it would be the best thing she
could do.'-TDr. Talmadge. "P5haW Had
| but really known she meant business
samuel J. Tilden. "Angelo, | predict will
resign within a year. It must be the greatest
effort of his life Roscoe Conkling. "Bet
she don't get Twenty-Five on the first ballot"
-Platt. Bad as the bill is | would rather
serve as street cleaning commissioner under a
five headed bureau than become Mr.. Sarah
Bernhardt." Lieut.. Com. GoIringe.' ''5he
saw me as I old and went her Angelo better''
Il Whitelaw Reid. '''Tis well. Let her
fight it out on that line it it takes all sum-
mer."-[U. s. Grant. ut is the common lot
of humanity. Genius may soar and cavort
but it must be broke into the matrimonial
harness at last. A good husband is as bal
last to a brilliant woman. He may be q lit
tie heavy. But that will prevent her from
capsizing. Consistency to principle is some
times mistaken for fckleness. Il Ralph Wal
do Emerson. "It all came of the beautiful
influence of Boston during her sojourn there"
-John G. Whittier. 1T is owing to the in
huence for good of American life and ciyili-
ization.'-[Rey. Joseph Cooke. cts high
time for her to settle Wn."-[Henry Ward
Beecher.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1881-06-29
AVeEeScOpe SfoEy.

The San Francisco CuU tells an extraordi-
nary story respecting u monster telescope
made by Professor Lefevre and Longtour,
French scientists, and erected at San Fran
cisco. The lenses ar 20 feet in diameter and
this is what happened when the astrono-
mers and their friends turned the instrument
to the heavens "M. Dufrere was the first
to apply his eye to the eye.p iece Of the teles-
cope. For fully five minutes be looked on
il speeches. amazement, then, without a
word, turned away to hide his emotion. One
by one the gentleman present tested the teles-
cope, exhibiting their establishment in vari-
Gus ways. The planet which happened to cast
its beams upon the great speculum was Mars
and the revelation is TOO wonderful for cred
it. The eye piece Of the lowest msgaifying
power was first placed on, when the planet
presented q most astounding sight. The pow
erful lens brought the surface Of the planet
nearer than that Of the moon has ever been
brought out by the most powerful telescope.
The green of the sea was brought out in IN
mistakable color, and one could almost mag
inc that he could see the waves upon the sur
fac. There before the eye was spread out
8 splendid panorama OF hill and dale, dark
patches that must be covered by forests,
great yellow patches that looked like autumn
fields, silvery threads that must be rivers,
and several unmistakable volcanoes.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1881-06-29
& III 4! mecsHOmase 4 Husband.

1t was the Empress Elgenie who found il
Adelina Patti, the rich wife for whom the
Marquis Of Caux mad long been in search. He
was very poor, his mother getting part Of
her income by making identifying powders
for the Court ladies. But he was q Marquis
and that seemed to be enough for Patti. He
was double her age, and untaithful from the
moment Of their marriage. Their quarrels
began almost Immediately after the ceremony.
In less than o week the servants had to save
her from his blows. He soon began TO bring
his mlstresses into her very presence. A
million or more Of her money went to pay
his gambling debts. Another to the restora-
ton of his Chateaux. He made trouble by
demanding her salary in advance Of her
management. He even tried to steal her Jew
elry, and when at last he accused her OF in
fidelity with the tenor Nicolini, she asked
him sarcastically how he could wonder If she
thought more Of Nicolini than Of him-a
gambler, q thief, a Wife-beater and q pro-
curer ? He struck her, and Nicolini rushing
in gave him a sound thrashing. When he
crawled from the room his wife was in the
tenor's arms, treating him to a tableaux, not
unlike the mimic scenes she had acted for
years. When finally q divorce was obtained
1t was granted to the Marquis and she is
obliged to divide her earnings with him. She
does not think as much of Marquises as she
did, or even as much as some American
girls, in spite Of such examples, are still re-
puted to do.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1881-06-29
"B0Gessss

Some weeks since a citizen Of Greenfield
traded a mule to his neighbor for a horse,
warranting the old brayer to be sound in wind
and limb. Not ten days had elapsed when
the mule brayed his last bray and kicked his
last kick. The former owner refused to be
held responsible, and the result was was q law
suit which was concluded yesterday in JUS
tice Alley. When the plaintiff had told what
he knew and thought and suspected, his wife
was put on the stand, and on the cross-exam-
ination the defendants lawyer said:
"Mrs. Smith, what did that mule die Of?
Bolts was her prompt reply.
Are you sure?"
1Yes, sir"
wasn't the beast choked to death with
some fish bones you gave him along with his
slop?o
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1881-06-29
EslsssracesE their Race.

CHEYENNE, June 1O.-The famous miscege-
nation case wherein a Chinaman and q
white woman were indicted for intermar-
rage, the ceremony having been performed
in Colorado, was decided to-day by Chief
Justice Senior. The court held that the mar
riage being lega]ized, it was legal under the
statutes. The defendants were finally dis
charged. a curious outgrowth Of the case is
that the Cinnamon here have ostracised the
bold groom, Lee Chin, and claim that he dis
graced their race by marrying q white wo-
man.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1881-06-29

4 Union Pacific express train was delayed
at Sidney, Nebraska, the other day by 8
broken wheel. Among the passengers were
young n and a young man bound Tor
the Pacific coast on their wedding trip. The
bridegroom, Goodwin by name, got out to
kick up his heels and look around, and while
he was absorbing the beauties Of nature and
other things in Sidney, the train passed or
without him. There was CONSERVATION at
Sidney and on board the Pullman. The
bride WAS in q state bordering on distraction
because Of her lost llege, and vainly, though
trantically, did the groom put IL his best 10
comotiOn to catch the retreatlng train. AS
he and the bride were one, with 3 very clear
case Ut "a passenger on board who Was lett
behind, it was fun to everybody else except
the two most deeply interested. Failing 10
catch the train on foot, he clambered into the
cab OF 8 locomotive which happened to be
putting about the place, and earnestly solicit
ed assistance. The engineer, a tender-heart-
ed man with q tender, saw how it was, and
proceeded to obtain proper authority as soon
as possible, and started with Mr.. Goodwin
on a. stern chase for the flying train which
was trying to make up al hour of lost time,
and which was proud of a new pair Of wheels.
Away the extra locomotive speed on the
wings Of love and sympathy and steam.
Goodwin petted the engineer and fireman
and helped to shovel coal, and st Antelope,
81 miles away, the wild-eyed, pursueing hus-
hand overlook the heartless cars, and the
young couple Immediately retired to their
staterOom 10 congratulate each other Er.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1881-06-29
G.

We stood or the shore Of the ocean.
~Parting-my love and L
And he placed on my finger a token
OF love, as he kissel me goodbye
The little boat broke from it, mooring
And leaped in the dark. rolling main;
And from over the sea
His voice came to me-
an come to my sweetheart again.
The sun went to sleep in the waters:
And the little stars reeped from their nest,
And the boat came holne ii the evening
And brought me the orc loved best.
SO, my lover was true TO bis promise,
And NV heart had not trusted in vain,
When from over tile sea
His voice came to me-
'.I1l come to my sweetheart again"
4<Esh = <aa-~-- 0
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1881-06-29
Sun River Leavings.
Thoroughbred Rams
O SALE.

500 Thoroughbred Merino. SoutIdown and Cots
void Rams for sale. These rams are from the nocks
of some Of the best breeders of thoroughbred sheep
in the United States. The Merinos were bred by Hon.
adapted to the climate Of Montana, because OF their
comparative freedom from wrinkles and grease or
yOlk. Prices reas enable.
Our ranch is. seven miles from Benton, when we
shall be pleased to see all parties interested in thor
%oughbred sheep. PARIS GIBSON & SON.
Fort Benton, June i, 1881.
Smyrna times. [volume] (Smyrna, Del.) 1854-1987, 1881-01-12

A Chicago resturant-keeper advertises
roast turkey and cram bury saus."
Smyrna times. [volume] (Smyrna, Del.) 1854-1987, 1881-01-12

his Parish duties, conducted a private
school. | graduated from Miss Farson' 5
Primary and entered Mr.. Piggotts " Insti.
tute." He is still living and has parish
in Baltimore county Nd; he is very ven, r.
able in appearance, though enfeebed toy
age. met him few years since and we
had most enjoyable chat about Smyrna in
the OI3en times. He was a Lou Churchman
and sometimes attended Methodist meet.
ings, On one occasion at a watch meeting
he took part in the services and converse d
with the mourners at the altar. That
sealed his ecclesiastical doom, so far as his
Rectorshipo f Smyrna Parish was concerned.
Since then he has passed through deep
waters, but holds on to his Faith in God.
Between the "rhree Story" and Judge
Davis there were number of small houses
In enc of them was the dwelling and store
Of Mr.. Rodgers a maker of ladies' shoes.
from Philadelphia. He was worthy citi
zen and an active member of the Methodist
society.
Israel Peterson, tailor, also lived in one
of those houses and had a shop next to the
dwelling of Judge Davis. Mr.. Peterson
was an official member of the Methodist
church and wore the "cut away coat.
He was a man Of good repute.
Next was the dwelling OF Isaac Davis
He was a man Of mark. Tall, we'll proper
toned, erect and Of commanding mien
IL was large property holder and Pres
dent of the Bank Of Smyrna. His sons
Joshua, Henry and George are believe
all deceased. His daughter Mary married
first Robert Wilson, and second, William
Budd. Ann married Thomas Budd; they
were Philadelphians VIM, Budd was the
superintendent of the NJ. E. Sunday School
lie never prayed in public if he could es
cape it, though he was gifted in prayer
and enjoyed the confidence of the commu
nifty in his piety. On the occasion Of {
Sunday School prayer meeting, Mr.. Budd
after several persons had prayed, as&t {
Miss Ann Sharp if she would please lead il
prayer. She rose from her knees and sait
No won't, pray yourself, you have no
prayed today Judge Davis was th,
~ealthiest man among the Methodist il
Smyrna. The deciplinary allowance for
Preacher then was 800 for himself, SlOC
for his wife, if he was so fortunate or un
fortunate as to have one $l66G for eacl
child under a given age, over that age tn,
children were expected to shift for them
selves. The collection for the preachers il
the classes were made quarterly, and quar-
terage came to mean quarter of Dollar
Judge Davis used to give one dollar an,
then he would hand the leader of the elias
another dollar, always remarking: "Thi
is for Mrs. Davis, she is not member bu
wishes to contribute her portion toward
the support Of the Gospel"
thought that a man who could Civ
two dollars quarter, must be a very iicI
man. MORE ANON.
Smyrna times. [volume] (Smyrna, Del.) 1854-1987, 1881-01-12
Hair Covered Men.

A short time ago man little over 20
years old went into Burnells Museum and
asked for an engagement. lie said that he
was a native Of Warsaw, in Russian Poland,
and had been condemned to the mines of
Siberia for being a Nihilst. A peculiarly
OF the atmosphere in the Redan gold mines,
near Tobolisk, where he was confined for
fifteen years, be said, was, that it in time
caused a thick growth of hair on the bodies
Of the exiles, who, in the warm temperature,
1900 feet below the surface, worked nearly
nude.
Nihilists being now somewhat in vogue,
especially when hairy, he was engaged at q
small salary, decked in ianciful medieval
costume, and seated on a platform with
Barnums veteran What Is It," and the
Spotted Boy. lie gives his name as G..
lvanovicz, and says shat while a medical
student in 1862 he was sent to Siberia for
dsaffection toward the Russian govern.
ment. After a weary march of several
months he and his companions reached
their destination, and were required tc
labor eleven hours day, with black bread
and salt for their food and water for theil
drink. To avoid scurvy, onions and other
vegetables were sometimes given them
but meat was allowed only once year, or
the birthday of the Emperor. Rude Cos
sack soldiers were their guards, who spok,
with invariabls roughness and freely useC
the lash il offended. Silence was enioneC
during working hours, but not strictly en-
forced. When at leisure they were no
allowed to collect in groups for converse
ton lest they should hatch schemes 70
escape, and when not eating they generall
found refuge from their WEAKNESS in sleep
Ivanovicz found over two hundred medica
men in the mine, together with a numbe
OF Russians of titled families.
The hair on his body reached its presen
thickness, he said, in four years, but other
did not acquire growth so speedily. IL
and eight others escaped in 1877, on tn
birthday of the Emperor. The guards o
that day were supplied with liquor, an
they became intoxicated.-N J. Sm.
= |
Eye peeping" is the new game. Tw
holes are made in screen. The perform
ers stand behind it and place their eyes i
tho holes, while the persons in front gue'
to whom the eyes belong.-M. 7. HeraL
There can't be much fun in that. VIII
not make one hole, have the girls plaC
their lips in it and their brothers, cousin
etc, try to decide by experiment to whol
the lips belong.
Smyrna times. [volume] (Smyrna, Del.) 1854-1987, 1881-01-12
Newspaper Waits.
INCONSISTENCY, thy name is Weather.

INCONSISTENCY, thy name is Weather.
Thu literary earnings Of George Eliot are
estimated at $25O,OO0.
Rome has not beon fer ten ye,rs so gay
aad brilliant with foreign visitors as at
present.
Perseverance. prudence and printers ink
Will prove efficient aids in making a success
fh year.
More than 1000 emigrants per day, omit
ting Sundays, arrived at Castle Garden
LIST year.
Vennor, the weather prophet, used to be-
a workman in an axe factory at Ballstou,
NV York.
The oil saying, AS the days begin to
l'ngthen tue cold begins TO strengthen IL
amply verified by this Winter.
Mr.. NordhoT says the Southern negro i.
undoubtedly the most docilp, and, on the
whole, the best peasant laborer in the world.
The beautiful beaver collars and tinv
mutfs, liz the most delicate shades Of gray
81 rcru, are prominent among the fash,
IpnaUie novelties.
The Baltimore School Board has refused
II TO 6, to try the experiment of placing
public schools for colored pupils in charge
of colored teachers.
Three thousand men are between POUCH
k"epsie and Albany, engaged in hnrve, ting
the ice crop. The ice is said to be in
splendid condition.
J c. Flood gave Sc coo to various char
table societies in San Francisco on Christ
mas day. Protestants, Catholics and lie.
brews shared alike.
The highest price ever paid for sea, in
the New York Stock Exchange was 25,LO0
recently given by Amcry &. Hodges ion
P. II. Thomson's chair.
Cincinnati man says Mary Anderson,
cherry red lips are the prettirst in Am"rics
" Bah = exclaims the Boston Post, "weI
put our lips against hers any day
Sidney Smith once thus clevprly describ
FL Mrs. Grote and her husband: q" 10 Xix,
them both SO much. for he is so ladylik,
and she is such perfect gentleman"
A New York woman who is going to give
a luncheon to severity one guests mex
month allows paper to announce that sh
will give each of her guests a sugar plum
box.
There are said to he ZOO 600 Jews in tn
world, widely scattered among every nation
The United States has half million {
them, 10000 of whom live in New Yor
: city.
Large cotton factories are TO he built a
Charleston, Vickshurg and Louisville
southern capitalists are brcon ing COZ
WINGED that they can manufacture as We
as raise cotton.
Smyrna times. [volume] (Smyrna, Del.) 1854-1987, 1881-01-12

WAITING AND WATCHING.--
Be waiting and watching
The signs of the times,
And daily keep laundering
At the prevalent crimes,
The evils will lessen
With every stout blow,
The brighter the weapon
The weaker the foe.
Smyrna times. [volume] (Smyrna, Del.) 1854-1987, 1881-01-12
INSPOKBN LOVE.

Is that love only bleSt
Which finds an outward voice.
Or is the love not best
That knows. but hides its choice?
Doth music breathe no love,
Because it tells no name?
Do poets verses move
None but the poets flame?
Is that love only sure
Which shows to outward sight?
Or doth it best endure
That shunS to seek the light?
still waters run as deep
AS those that hurry by;
The little flow ers that sleep
Live, though they seem TO die.
Then keep thy treasure still,
Safe in thy secret breast,
To open is to spill;
UnSpOken love is best,
Thus soul shall speak TO soul,
And heart shall beat to heart,
Without the forced control
Words, idle words. impart.
Smyrna times. [volume] (Smyrna, Del.) 1854-1987, 1881-01-12

PAPER PENcIls.-Tlre lead pencil Of the
future will substitute paper for wood. The
paper is stepped in an adhesive liquid and
rolled around the core of lead to the re-
quired thickness, and is colored after dry
ing, when il resembles an ordinary cedar
pencil.
Smyrna times. [volume] (Smyrna, Del.) 1854-1987, 1881-01-12

exception OF the cashier OF the F.rrrrs'
Bunk at New Castle, in whose stead Rich
ard G. Cooper, Esq, of New Castle, was
eiected.
Smyrna times. [volume] (Smyrna, Del.) 1854-1987, 1881-01-12
THE SPEAKERS.
READING MATTER.

According to resolutions adopted each
legislator will he furnished with the daily
paper OF his choice during the session. In
addition, tho Senate will he provided with
one copy of every paper published in Della.
ware, and the House with three copies OF
each weekly in the State.
Smyrna times. [volume] (Smyrna, Del.) 1854-1987, 1881-01-12
Try It..

The following nneclote has been read
aloud by number of persons. including
several professional gentlemen. half "a dozen
college gradu ties and as many school teach
ers. not one of whom made less than six
mistakes in pronunciation, some reaching
twenty, FIVE. 1t has been amended by the
addition of few more words of difficult
pronunciation, and is now presented to
give others an opportunity to distinguish
themselves in the same way:
A iocund sacrilegious son Of Belial OF
Epicurean tastes, who suffered from bron-
chitis having exhausted his finances at the
| annual joust, in order to make good the
d, frit, resolved to ally himself to a comely.
lpnient and docie young lady of the Malay
or Caucasian race. lie accordingly pur-
chased a calliope, a coral neck lace Of cha.
meleon hue and torquoiSe ring and seCur
| ing a suit Of rooms at hotel, he engaged the
the head waiter as a coadjutator. lie then
dispatched an erudite letter of the most
unexceptional chiroeraphy extant, with u
sentimental hpmistich attached inviting
the young lady to an orchestral concert.
She was harassed and with lruculrnt lock
revOlted at the idea, refused to consider
herself sacri6cable to his desires and seat II
polite note of refusal, on receiving which
be procured carbine and bowie kniie.
said that he would not now forge fetterS
hymeneal or he inveigled into matrimony,
went to an isolated spot in state of Slualor,
severed his jugular vein and discharged the
contents of his carhine into his abdomen
with grimace at the railIery of his Acquain
tances. He succumbed and was irreTrnga.
bly, dead and neither vagaries nor pageanlry
were permitted when he was conveyed ia
the mausoleum, followed by his snervated
canine.
LIrrLE Folks DICrIoNARY.-Bed-tim
shut.eye time.
Dust-Mud with the juice all squeezed
out.
Fan-A thing to brush the warm off with.
Fins-A f>hs wings.
Ice-Water that stayed out in the cold
and went to sleep.
Monkey-A very little boy, with tail.
Salt-What makes your potato taste bad
when you don't put any on,
Snoring-Letting off sleep.
Snow--Rain all popped out white.
Wakefulness-E Eyes all the time coming
unbuttoned.
A small ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
A young man in love is not necessarily
a mathematician, but he is nearly always u
sigh for her. If you can't cipher this out
We sigh for you.
Smyrna times. [volume] (Smyrna, Del.) 1854-1987, 1881-01-12

The fund Of 100000 raised by the Phila.
delphians for General Grant ia completed
aud as ATS tie Generals order.
Smyrna times. [volume] (Smyrna, Del.) 1854-1987, 1881-01-12

Baroness Alphonse de Rotbschild is said
to he the possessor of the finest collar Of
pearls in existence. She selected each
pearl with great care, and was many years
in collecting sufficient number. Il IS
priceless. .-..-......,......
Smyrna times. [volume] (Smyrna, Del.) 1854-1987, 1881-01-12

young man in love is not necessarily
mathematician, but he is nearly always a
sigh for her. If you can't cipher this out
We sigh for you.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1881-06-11
FOREIGN NEES.

Riots AID iposrdary fcea ara brcskirs tu
again ir S1uthero Russia.
President MCrino has accepted tho dicislor.
ship ct San Domingo snd released al political
prisoners.
Mr. Joyoa. secretary Of tn, Klmallock bsnch
OF tho ltsh Lard League. has tcan arrested
under tho coercion ac'. Twenty three Of the
Corkiiotc hsVo been seneuccd to from Two TO
four mouths imprisonment.
Shoe tho defeat CT Gambetth's party ty the
vote 90 sorutln dc iste in tho French Senate,
tuncrs dr, current that Gambetta will resign
III, Trc:idency of tho Chamber OF Deputies, Of
that the ministers ct justice, Of the ia!er;or and
war will also resign.
The rumor is revived ha! Prime, Amadeus,
OF Italy. The brother of King Huub.rt, who
was olcl king OF Spain, Intends Il king mouas.c
VOWS. Size, the d,sth of his wta-to whon
he was pnssiouateiy sttsched-somc yeas siuoe,
DO has been eutiact to s,vere attacks ct
melarcSolis.
Two lrshmen. uamod Mckevctt ard Rob-
crts, who, i! is stated, had jlss returned from
Amer:ci, meGo an attempt 10 bow up tho
Liverpool Town Hall yesterday mornpg By
meats Of eas pipe filled with powder, as stated
10 yesterdays Gszatte. they were ulseccassful,
aud both ware captured. Both are believed 10
be Fenaus, and will be ohsrgld With completely
to attempt to blow u7 tho Central Police Station
at Liverpool May l6.b. The men will be tried
uader the act ia relation to tie malicious dis.
tlu?tion of properly. Their punishment may
be Imprisonment fer life.