The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1881-12-08
Mr.. McGilder's Grandfather.

Did You ever nave FAMILY relic! by
the inquiry 1 mean no antique chair or
ornament, no dust-stained picture or
piece of plate, no musty lace or moth
eaten garment of the olden time, but
living, breathing, human relic.
Well, we have one.
It is a female relic.
Its name ia Priscilla-Priscilla Van
Dorm; and we generally call 1t aunt,
though whose aunt it is has always been
o riddle to me-a deep, dark, unsolvable
riddle.
I believe that away back in the
shadowy past, somewhere about the war
of 1912, my grandfather's step-brother
Priscilla-or Aunt Priscilla, should
say-and by means of this marriage
Aunt Priscilla became a member of our
family. Why it was so, or how it came
about, do not know; and l know my
father went down to the grave vainly
trying to solve that problem.
But, anyhow, Priscilla now lives with
me, and we-my wife and myself-are
her humble and devoted slaves. 1t is
our fate, and we accept it.
Inc Otner NlBuU MI. MCN1IucH CaAo W
see us.
Mr.. McGilder is banker-fat, fair,
forty, and fortunate. Mr.. McGilder
holds mortgage upon our house, and
it is to our interest not to offend Mr..
McGilder. We always-for the children
of this world are wise in their generation
try to humor Mr.. McGilder's hobbies;
for he, like all of us, has hobbies.
They are of various sorts. but the
principal one is Mr.. McGilder's grand
father.
That respected relative is source of
unbounded pride to Mr.. McGilder,
we'll spring of JOY and fountain OF de-
light, AS it were. If it were proven,
logically and indisputably, to Mr..
MeGilder that his grandfather was
myth, that he never had a grandfather,
so to speak, l believe Mr.. McGilder
would be stricken with paralysis.
The other night. as said before, Aunt
Priscilla Glanced to be in the parlor
when Mr. McGilder came.
1t was the first time he had ever seen
Aunt Priscilla, for generally when COM
pany comes We put Aunt Priscilla up in
the garnet or down in the cellar.
The general effect of Aunt Priscilla's
society upon company is apt to impress
them with the idea that there is a corpse
in the next room.
But Mr.. McGilder was not acquainted
with this pleasing popularity.
He was introduced to Aunt Priscilla,
and sat down.
Conversation, of course, followed.
BY and by my wife, who ia Scotch I,
and, like all of the ilk, is glad of it.,
CHANGED to remark that her uncle was
descended from Rob Roy.
This started Mr.. McGilder off. He
began resurrecting his grandfather.
my fathers father" said he, was a
McGilder, one of the most noble families
of Ireland. His first name was Brian,
after Brian Borou, the great Irish king"
Aunt Priscilla pricked up her ears.
First name Brian?" asked she.
Eyes, ma'am," replied Mr.. McGilder.
RED headed?"
"Well, ye-es."
Zone leg shorter than the other?"
well. yees, I believe some folks did
say So" ,.u
"Cross.eyed?"
"Well, ye-es, a triAe So"
IL knowed him, said Aunt Priscilla,
VIGOROUSLY. "We used to call him
Skinny!
A trifle dismayed, Mr.. McGilder con-
tinued:
my grandfather was most remark
able man."
HE was," grimly assented Aunt
Priscilla. 1.-The only man ever knew
what could repeat the first ten Psalms
with pie in his mouth. I've seed and
heard him do it often"
Mr.. McGilder looked slightly as
founded, but he did not wish to appear
discounted.
"My grandfather" he went on. twas o
prominent character in the revolution"
HE was COW. boy" said Aunt Pris-
ella, sternly.
He was friend of Mad Anthony
Wayne"
(which I've allus surmised was the
reason they called Anthony Wayne
mad"
"He was at the capture of Stony
Point"
"He was captured hisself for robbing
corpses.
HE conducted himself with such
bravery upon that historical occasion
that he was"
whipped outer camp next dayI" fin.
ished Aunt Priscilla, deiantly. II
n