The Osceola times., 1881-03-19
WAYS OF THE WORLD.

pound Tor tnc tfDpltl anu WINS a I'"h'
for the bride as his wedding fee.
LADIES Of fashion must cultivate the
"Bernhardt elbow angle II takes
thin. scolding elbow TO do it. Dimplcs
don't count.
GuN arabic dissolved in whisky will
keep the hair curled in damp weather.
And little sugar dissolved in il has
similar effect on the legs.
THEY say that love will go where it is
sent. And it appears always TO be sent
after the homely girl with rich old
daddy. Why is this thuswise?
SEAL skin softens all compilations,
says fashionable exchange; and might
have added with equal propriety, also
the old gentlemans pocket-book.
AyorNe man was recently killed. He
didn't commit murder or steal a
horse. In speaking of certain
artist he said that first he budded then
he rose.
An exchange says the Egyptian obelisk
cannot stand our climate. 1t will have TO.
Ii is asking little too much Of the
PEOPLE TO change their climate to suit the
obelisk.
The Chicago fireman who poisoned
some cold meat TO fix a dog, and then
ate it with his luncheon, has got a new
and improved memory since the doctors
pumped him out.
MAMMA-"Oh, James. how shocking,
Playing marbles in the street on sunday!
tio into the back yard and play there.
JAMEs-"Why, mamma, isn't II Sunday
in the back yard too?"
BuRDErrE fatters the ladies' Of Alaska
by saying that if they get drunk they
also get sober. This young man has been
an editor and lecturer long enough to
know how to propitiate people without
spelling them.
SAYS Robert Collyer: II had no idea
how easy it was for men and women OF
our free thought and free ways to drift
from the service of the sanctuary, become
their own temple their own priests, and
end by caring for neither"
A LITTLE girl of l2 years, the daughter
of a clergyman, was asked Sadie, does
your papa ever preach the same sermon
twire?" After thinking a moment Sadie
replied: "Yes, / think he does, but
think he hollers in different places
Coz. ROBERT G. INGERsoLL has pur-
chased the mansion and grounds oc-
cupied by the American Club at Green
wich, Conn. during the Tweed regime,
and subsequently, known as the Morton
House, and will turn the property into a
magnificent summer residence.
SAN Francisco has not yet been cured
Of its love of titled aristocrats, and there
fore continues to be victim ofpretenders
The latest of these was clever rogue
who called himself Count Won Schiller.
lie made acquaintances in snobbish So
cety, and then pretended to fall danger
ousiy i'll. He dictated letter to his
father, directing him how to make a re
mittance of So 600, and induced the young
man who acted as his amanuensis TO lend
81 900 until the money came. Then he
f,igned belief that he was about to die,
and made will in which his San Fran
cisco friends were literally remembered.
On the strength of these bequests he
borrowed numerous small amounts.
lie has at last been exposed and ar
rested.
The following epitaphs may be seen in
our kenosha cemetery:
Susan p. Foster,
Wife of Lewis Knapp.
My dear and loving wife, meet me,
with our spirit friends. at the gate of the
Elsyian fields of paradise, where ! am
coming by natures fast express until
there we meet loving adien.
p. S.-Our friends W. and A. will soon
Join us there.-lEw.
Happy, happy day. hallelujah! Amen.
The above is on his wiie's tombstone,
and on his own, which he has put M al
though he is still living may he seen the
following:
Old Broadgauge,
Lewis Knapp,
Aged-years,
Emigrated-
to Join his wife and friends in the celes-
tial fields of paradise; thanking God for
sense enough to die, as he had lived for
thirty years, thoroughly infidel TO all
ancient and modern humbug myths
Us taught for fine clothes and place at
others COSTLY an indolent, egotistic. self
elected priestly crew. The fear of the
right reverend doctors ofdivinity theolog.
zeal scare-crsw of hell-fire and damna-
tion to all who refuse to pay Titles to
their support, had no force or effect on
Lewis Knapp.