Knoxville daily chronicle. [volume] (Knoxville, Tenn.) 1870-1882, 1881-11-11
BABIES.
Bofenstein on Suspicious Character
Few Points About Babies in
General and One in Particular.

BoffensteIn Suspicious Characters-
Few Points About Babies in
General and One in Particular.
New Orleans Times.
even I vas coming down to de store dis
morning, Misder Hotfenstein," said Her
man, - l ment Maurice Grumbach und he
dells me dot he haf a lettle poy baby in his
house, vat was born last week. He was 60
ing after de model ven l met him. and he
says. Herman, l wants you to dell Misder
Hofenstein dot he was invited to be present
ven we haf de ceremony uf de milah yich
viii dake blace Tomorrow"
u don't dink | will go dere, Herman"
replied Hoffenstein, g but you can go if you
Wish, und you peter had dake someding
along NIT you to gif de baby, you know.
Get Won uf dem tea cups NIT de words, Vel
come leetle stranger printed on it. Dot
vas de kind uf present L always gif, besides
it vas cheap und de baby don't can eat it
you know"
| g All right, Misder Hoffenstein," said
Herman, 9 l viii go to de milah l like to
go dere because Maurice Grumback vas q
trent uf mine, und ven he dells me about de
baby he vas shust SO broud as if he vas vert
a million"
''Vell, Herman, he Won't be broud very
long, you know. Dot pisiness blays out
ven de baby makes noise all de night und
you don't can sleep. Won my poy Abe was
born | vas shust de same way. I vas so
glad dot [ went out nit Levi Cohen, Jacob
Heidingsfelder und Moses Loeb und ven l
got home I Cont can tell if l vas saw
/ mill Or brass band-I vas dwice go drunk
as boiled owl l dalked great deal about
de first baby vat | haf for a couple NV
weeks, but l learned better, you
know. Abe vas de worst baby dot
you efer see, und at night l would put
him between me und my wife, SO he would
pc all right. Vat you dinh, Herman, he
| would fall oud uf de bed und howl like blazes.
Noding could keep dot baby in de bed.
| You could build fence ten feet high
around ded, und Abe would get oud und yell
shust to drouble his barents. Ven he wasn't
falling on de floor und making a noise, he
would dwist himself around undil he got his
| foot in my mouth vile l vas asleep; und
ven [ bite it vile l vas dreaming, he
would wake up de beople around
Now, Herman you. vas a young
man, and dere vas somsding you know
about babies, and dere vas oder dipgs vo
you don't know. Dake my advice unG
nefer go fooling around NIT baby if yor
can help it. Ven you dake baby in youl
lap and bounce it up and down you find de
first ding vat you know dot you wasn't safe
and it makes you dink you was a fool foi
being we're you don't haf any pisiness you
know. You must always watch baby ver
you haf it in your lap, because it vas 6
dangerous und SUSPICIOUS character
vat needs Watching COUPLE
uf times closer den you vas able
to give it. Some beople knows babies by
insdinct and can dell de right time ven to
hand dem to some Won else, but oder beople
can't und dey go aboud Wishing dat deg
could. vent to barty von night nit {
bair uf vite bants on, und baby vas dere
vat belonged to de lady vat gif de barty.
set de baby on my knee und played horse
you know. De consequence was | dom
dance any dat night, Herman. vent home
before de music come, because l didn't dinA
dot l would Gl1 de barty. und l didn't"