Litchfield enquirer., 1881-02-24
CLIPPINGS


 IsSFa T1E .t{
 Why is the earth, ikea blackboard Be- cause the children of men multiply upon the race 2. oI 't 4..- <. gAs.
 The Egyptian emblem of snake with it's tail in it's mouth was the earliest sign of the swallow tail"
 T Letuse pray that this h may be an of year for the potato bug. the grasshopper and the fruit tree peddler.
 The college graduate is equal to lecture on, journalism as soon as he gets situation as po- lice court reporter.
 An article sna s1iaaettsg infSfina.us .ha. ..s gentleman isaone who never inflicts pain" Dentists are no gentlemen. u@e st
 Bob IngersoIl hasnot destroyed all religious belief. An article headed s'The Fuel of the Future is still going the newspaper rounds. A chivalrous exchange thinks when man tnarries A widow he should glve up snokiu ug. ''She gives up her weeds'-he should be equally polite.
 "There is no disgrace in being poor" we are told. And we're bowling glad of it, for there are enough other disadvantages aboutth without that one iEt
 Short cour,ship: ''Rachel. the Lord hath sent me ta marry thee," said the suitor. "The Lords will be done," was the submissive re- ply.
 lT "A Boston newspaper somewhat sarcastically remarks: s'The police of New York are being vaccinated But what's the use of it? They never catch anything"
 Charity is not puffed upj Depting when it IJcomes in tle gnise fsasehaflty ball or charity fair. Then it is puffed up in every newspa- per that can be reached. ..Bridget,I cannot allow. you toreceive your logerinsth Kitchen. 4any longerls' sIt's very kind of you, ma am but he is almost too bash full to come into the parlor."
 Y A citizen4of New Jersey, recently introduc- ed to'a newly married man, congratulated him warmly and said: "Ah, those Paterson girls B A doctog went out for a sday'sshuptiag, and on coniing home complained that he hadn't killed anything. That's because you didn't attend to your legitimate business" said his, wife. lL 4 dsji IIli3I M
 Let down the price of telephones and in- crease the nuiliber of words allowed in tele- graphic messages and lively impulse will be given to social progress. It is only question of time. 1TL. 4an0IH ,tEp,i.I Mrs. Jenkihs' is a'clever old lady and means well, but sometimes gets the wrong word. She hit it pretty closely, though, yesterday, when she said the storm looked omnibus for the horse railroad.
 A new sled has been invented, which is 50 rr,, cty,rc tod t},ofa do of falling off. and the boys are relieved of the trouble of holding the girls on. The invention isnot meeting >with arlarge sale. .()NAT |
 ''Golly! ain't going to be licked to-mor- row, was the joyful remark of a small sch ol- ar who was at the burning of Monroe school, last evening, and who had been promised a dose of corporal nishment this morning.
 ''Georgie." " sad devoted young mother to CT cookie till you ask foritproperly." ''Please, for Christ's sake, amen," said the little inno, cence, with immediately folded hands. fl IA young lady was was caressing pretty spap- ie and murmuring: 'I do love nice dog!'' xahd1 A1 sshsd ssls r dss ssspsy s1sI ss T torted the youagL Slsdy, sharply. c"you'll grow"
 "What are you doing there?" calmly asked an elderly and pious looking skater ofa young man who had fallen on the ice and was rub biBg his thigh with considerable energy, Do ing!" he exclaimed, pressing his jawsfogether to keep back volley of profanity, ''Im try lfHag F, n1es H1e 2, c4fist lfstss ,ssns,"
 A prominent North Side minister on Sum- day gave his congregation very neat repri- mand for their tardiness in reaching church. Alter the second hymn had been sung and the notices read, and the members still coming he quietly irenarked D Ds4If church to- day had been an express train, several of the congrega- ! tion would have been left"
 'sNow you had better let me put set of these weather strips on your doOrs," pleaded the agent in an insinuating voice; ''they keep the,bouse verygwarm."r But the man said no, his Wife's. mOthertwas stopping with them this winter, and he guessed it would be warm vepoagh witho6t the strips, cahd thS agent, be- ing sensible man, saw it that way too, and went out to hunt up another customer. The hfanea famous Imefi,n American 1liad n Nut.be written by the late Thomas Carlyle in 1861 :l Peter, of the north (ts, Paul of the souih)1 '"Paul, you unaccountable sconndrel, find you hire. your servaHtslfor life. not by the month or year, asI do, You are sgoing straight to hell, you P Paul-"Good words, Peter The risk is my own; I am willing to take the risk Hire your servants by the month Or day, and get Straight to heaven: leave me to imY own methodr Peter-'No I won'taaI will s.beat .zyo,isz brains out first.'' (And is trying dreadfnlly ever since. but can not vet manage it.. The very day that this was m de public in London the news of the battle of iGettysburgf and the surrender kof Vicksburg were telegraphad from Queens tow IT. 3'4! "'fFT FA3 f3o'