Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1881-12-29
Scissors.

Scissors.
There is perhaps no one object in ma
tnre which brings 10 woman so much
trouble and veXaiion as her scissors.
Five per cent of married women quar-
rel with their husbands and thirteen per
cent. Of all women quarrel with their
best female friends over the question:
Is the word scissors singular or plural?
When the hurried husband, anxious 10
cut the ragged edges Of his wristbands
before going 10 his business, cries out to
hi wife: &" Gimme that scissors and
she calmly replies: You should say
those scissors, nay dear, the peace of
the household is threatened; and when
the wife'S most intimate friend saws To
her; Il notice YOU always say those
Scissors but Charles tells me that YOU
should say that scissors. the reply
cuts asundcr the friendship OF many
years.
The chief trouble caused by scissors is
not. however, due 30 their disputed
grammatical rank. IL arises from the
frequency with which they are lost.
There is no domestic article-not even
the tack-hammer. the bed-wrench or
the cork-scrcw which disappears SO
constantly a does the scissors. Not a
day passes in any industrious house
hold without AT least one prolonged
search for the scissors. Curiousiy
enough, ], is always discovered by the
one who wants the scissors that some
one else has wickedly or carelessly mis-
laid them. Mary, You had my scis-
sors last; now where are they?' or.
''Susan. you didn't give me back my
scissors this morning; what did You do
with thcm?' are remarks which in sub
stance are heard in nine houses out of
ten every day in the year. OF the shy
and vicious ways of scissors and their
proneness TO conceal themselves little
note is taxed by the searcher, and her
first and uniform impulse Is to assume
that her children. her mother, her sister
or her visiting friend has wantonly lost
the scissors.
Ii is, nevertheless, well known that
scissors lose themselves purposely, either
through unconquerahle Shyness or in
eradicable vicinusnrss. Manv women.
taking pattern by the habit which some
men have Of labelling their dogs with en-
graved collars. TRY to insure the safety
Of their scissors hv attaching To them
long red or blue ribbons. The plan is
uScle>, one. even in the case of the dogs.
II Is assumed that when dog has wan
dered from home aud forgotten both his
masters name and residence, he viii
twist his head over his shoulders aud re-
fresh his memory 10y reading theinscrip-
ton on his collar, after which he viii
gladly seek his home Even were it
possible for dog 10 80 twist his head as
Ia read what Is engraved on his collar
a feat which any anatomist Viii declare
10 be impossible does not follow that
the dog would instantly be smittcn with
a desire to % home. Facts prove that
dogs with engraved collars lose them
selves al least as frequently rs other
dogs, and that the collar is Of no sort of
use except rs an ornament Equally
useless Is the custom Of tying piece of
ribbon TO a pair of scissors. Were the
ribbon attached 90 = ring in the wall, it
would. Of course, keep the scissors in
confinement is. if il We're strong
cnough-hut ~ i; j.. the scissors simply
carry the ribbon with them into hiding.
Gases have been known Of scissors which
have concealed themselves in holes. into
which they have carefully drawn every
inch Of their accompanying ribbons. and
il i simply wonderful that women
should ~ cling 10 the deluSion that