Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1881-11-14
A Learned BARRIERS Observation on
Badness.

\
Is it true that civilization and badness march
| side by side step for step, and that the man o.
the nineteenth century crosses the bald line, Sc
| to speak. at a much younger age than did his
| less cultivated and more leisurely ancestor OF
the eighteenth? Several ingenious writer's have
| adopted this hypothesis and constructed inter.
| esting physiological philosophical theories upon
IL, out 1t seems to rest as yet on an insufficient
| STATISTICAL basis. 1t is possible that Herbert
| Spencer may have collected data on the sub
lect-he has about pretty much everything else
out. II so, he has not yet made public the re-
suits OF his investigation. Perhaps Colonel Sea
ton, If the matter were put before him in the
proper light by eminent scientific persons, might
De induced to do something when the time
comes around for taking the next census.
certainly very few questions come home more
intimately than this to mems hearths and crani-
ums. The vast majority Of Americans Of the
voting sex are either already bald or afraid OF
becoming bald by and by. Witness the prolific
brood OF Neutrality-suspicious. and hair-restOratives
tilat swarm in the advertising pages of our news
papers, and scramble i'm merry rivalry over fence
and dead-wall, towering cliff and way-side bowl
der. Here and there schOck-headed, iron
bristled veteran of the Andrew Jackson and
Peter Cartwright type laughs the comm peril to
scorn. Here and there, too man may be found
who says that he does not care copper whether
his hair sticks to his pate or falls off, but this
man can safely be set down as either an unver-
dcIOuS DfagIarC OF u moral m0llStfOSlty. 1t NAV
be doubted whether any normal person ever
reaches that melancholy station in his earthly
pilgrimage.
"When life. once past its fortieth year,
Wheels up its evening hemisphere"
without inward anxietes on the subject of bald
ness. and tentative attempts-futie aasI for
the most part-tO avert it.
We are indebted to Monsieur H. Puiol, the
learned French barber of the New York SIM
for brochure of unique interest and value
which taxes rank 1T once among the most
Illuminating of modern contributions to the
Figaro in New York." Monsieur Puiol has re-
published his letters to our metropolitan cOtem-
porary, plus an essay on the art of taking care
OF the hair. Ex-hair-dresser to the Jockey Club
OF Paris. welding the pen as gracefully as the
curng-irOn Monsieur Pulol is every way a
person worthy of attention.
Bald men will get but cold comfort, however.
from his pages. He does. indeed, endeavOr to
cheer them up by reminding them that Socrates,
cicero and Caesar We're as bald as billiard balls,
anu by such transparent fiattery as this
Badness. from my point Of view Is mark
OF superiority in my long experience as a hair
dresser l have noticed that it is only the men
endowed with superior intelligence such as
philosophers. literary men and inventors-in a
word. men who aid the march Of progress with
the products of their brains-whO are bald This
Is not the case with the unfOrtunates deprived
OF reason. L. like everybody else have re-
marked that idiots and cretins have skulls
abundantly supplied with capillary tubes.
But he dashes their hopes at one blow by say
ing that while hair that falls out after sick
ness will generally grow in again without any
aid In the nature of tones, hair that has fallen
out from natural causes never grows in again
He cites DR.. BaZin, formerly chief surgeon of
the ST. Louis hospital in Paris. who told him
years ago that nothing could make the hair
grow when badness had come on gradually
This believe FIRMLY" says the learned bar
ber:-
For. if there was ANYTHING of the kind. we
would not see SO many New York doctors with
heads as completely destitute of hair as the
backs OF turtles. i am even persuaded that these
gentlemen would follow the example of these
Greek heroes who, under the leadership of
Jason, made voyage to Colchis to bring back
the Golden Fleece Modern ArgOnauts. the
doctors would consider themselves happy if
they could bring back from such voyage the
secret of restoring the human fleece don't
mink am far from the truth when | saw that
during the past % years that have practiced
the profession of hair-tlresser. have made the
trial upon different bald heads of more than 500
different hair tOnics. and am bound to admit
tiat never saw single head the hair of which
was restored after badness At the end of so
many failures. am completely undeceived as to
the value of all the preparations and would
not now recommend any one of them
Then. as though to 1uench the last glimmer-
ing spark OF hope. he says to the bald brother
Rood, who are investing in tOnics and washes
with such pathetic persistency. these terrible
Words You would have just as much success
II you were to try to make the teeth you have
lost grow in again.
To persons not yet bald. but fearful of becom-
ing so, the learned barber gives few practical
cOunsels. such as these: If your hair is weak
or thin, trim only the ends. don't have YOUR
ne.a shaved, Whatever you do; wash your hair
with soap and water almost hot. rnsing after
ward with fresh water; never use any greasy
preparation on your hair; don't wear your hat
indoors We commend his advice to the atten-
tlOn OF those readers whom it concerns.
AS for our bald readers, we can Only follow
Monsieur PujOfs example and refer them to the
consolation OF philosophy.-N. Y Sun.
A Friendly Game.
From the Brooklyn Esele.
"Say, mister" said tall. sunburned man
with wide brimmed hat. as he edged his way
into the managing editor'sroom Yesterday after
noon ''Say, mister, do you know anything
about keards!"
why. yes" responded the editor, 81 know
how to play everlasting and old maid and
things OF that kind; why?"
THAT'S just what want to ask about. Now
in playing 'Old maid suppose the man who
whose bet is it?''
THAT isn't the way play it, said the edi-
tor In my game the player who has a queen
after the otner cards are played is the old
maid"
perhaps it's everlasting that I'm thinking
or. unused the stranger ''Suppose in ever
lasting you should catch an old maid on the
draw and when the rest of the keards was
played you found you hadn't filled. What
then?'
Il don't see how that question could arise in
that game" said the editor. maybe you are
talking OF the game called poker"
Poker! what's that" asked the stranger,
looking up in innocent surprise.
That's where they have ages and fulls and
that sort OF thing"
Do you know how to play it. stranger?'
asked the tall man. drawing out pack of cards.
"Will you show me how?'
The editor ran over the cards and dealt two
hands rapidly.
Now" he explained, 1.-TWO pairs beat one
pair. three OF a kind beat two pairs, flush
beats threes. and four Of a kind beat flush.
What have you got!"
The stranger laid down mixed hand and the
editor explained that it was worthless, as his
own hand held pair.
''Lemme deal 'em once" said the stranger
running them off clumsily. Five each?''
Yes" replied the editor. seeing that he had