davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1881-01-04

The old saying Opposition il the life
Of tu-Iress" has hot been sustained in one
in>isnre n least. Since the introduction
Of DIR. Eull's Cough syrup all other cough
remedies have been dead stock and the sen.
dcrs sfe in despair.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1881-01-04

Over $4,000 Howe Scales sold. Bor
den, Selleck 4 Co., Agents, Sc. Louis, No
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1881-01-04
For Sale.

A we'll established harness business 1t
Dresden. [d6i&wlt. WN. Corr.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1881-01-04
FO0TLI0HT FLASHES.
Items Of Interest to Play Goers
Picked Up from Bverywhsre.

SMITHS OPERA House,
SsDsLlA. Mo.
Geo T. Er"Nn S Go. i.~>sees.
Seating cspscity So
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1881-01-04

on in healthy m,Inei, VILE The 20 "at'ot OF
.ut,et,i.. j. 10 dee. Tne iap-G,.v Wi wbcn
Yai ems ate 90 flesh &n;.e u-iGer I ,e iaadene
% ie svsup, o; .~e', }ao~' les tat no Other
p,eps. at.on C: I ne Ue,te: AZ cpseG to help ADD
nou.;sh ,ae .; Li.oa. add Dep e be hio p e.
M ;or- IL p" depression OF 81, y, ss',- 'g or
tieniJi,rg of the iao6s or ,od co. D, suortness
q Dee al, or couSOmct we ':J's. i re pet yes a1o
mo .'cs u come s,ter; ,ieIsa Sad lie blood
pU leu.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1881-01-04

Feiio~s Cmpouad { rnp Of Hyr .'hcsphites
Soc >. 10 anu m.ae. v cures Co? es. On o. tho
Lpr;s. 4. one =. Co ,-,'n,.ion. Me- sOns Pros
irat,oa. 6io..u of E.sa.-I, Pap ON OF the
Hsa~s. y, emo',a. OF ne Ea,os aaG nbs Phys
ia = end sier :, I~, on, Loss of Apse.i.e, Loss
"a E.ie ~, Loss o. Ne no ., I'd wit raD'civ i'm
o.ose fe Iease,sd Oos q I'd organs Of the
Ho6v, which deae nd Zoe nea'.h upOl vOtu lt1ry,
sen -so,p1.arv, aod involuntary nei vOus ACTON.
j, e. sw.sh goa, Gea,'~1esS aas. sub' ,esv OWING
to tIe e=en's,.e rasnosv OILS rt.reG'ehts, akin
40 po'e osooa rtsc, LIS tas.e - pleasant, and 10
edsc.s permanent.
The silver state. [volume] (Unionville, Nev.) 1870-1903, 1881-04-11

An immense stock of fine Dress and
Common Hats, can be obtained at low
rates, at the store of
n29 f. C. RoBINS
The silver state. [volume] (Unionville, Nev.) 1870-1903, 1881-04-11

Cs = Outfit sent free to those who wish to ea
Ns 1gage in the most pleasant and profitable
business known. Everything new, and
capital not required. We will furnish you
everything, Ten dollars day and upwards is
easily made without staying away from home
over night. No risl; whatever. Many new
workers wanted at once. Many are making
fortunes at the business. Ladies make as much
as men, and young boys and girls make great
pay No one who is willing 10 work fails to
make more money every day than can be made
in q week at any ordinary employment.
to fortune. Address III. HALLETT Il co,
dis Portland Maine.
National Republican. (Washington City (D.C.)) 1872-1888, 1881-03-19
JOHNNY SPILLKINS.
How He Ran the Texas Legislature and
Other Things.

Johnny Spillkins, Galveston boy of
about twelve summers has just returned from a
brief visit to Austin, where he has an uncle.
Johnny must have spent good deal of his time
in the capitol and have associated with legislators
for he abounds in all manner of Legislative terms
and expressions. His legislative knowledge first
cropped out when he went to the door to answer a
ring of the bell. The family clergyman was get
ting up subscription list for an orphan asylum,
and had called to get subscription. He ask ed
Johnny if his father was in.
"The Governor is engaged just now with official
business of great Importance He is filing away
batter cakes and other internal Improvements"
The clergyman stared, and said:
"TeIl your father 1 would like to see him. 1
want him to subscribe to get up benefit for the
orphans"
"Its no use for you to introduce that bill; be-
sides, you ought to know that the Governor has no
jurisdiction in such matters. You can get some
body to introduce your BILL but shall vote against
it. 1t is unconstitutional to vote the money OF tRe
State to relieve orphans. Of course am in favor
of orphans. They are good thing to have IN the
family, but don't propose that you shall open
door to fraud and corruption by appropristing any
National Republican. (Washington City (D.C.)) 1872-1888, 1881-03-19
CIRCUS MODESTY,
No Diamonds This Season-No Deception
TO be Praeticed.

An advertising agent for one of the
great circus combinations has been in Detroit for
week past, and yesterday he sat down long enough
to answer few questions. The interview started
off as follows:
Chow many diamond pins VIII you wear this
summer, and what will be their value?"
al shall not wear any. Our show has made a
new departure in that matter. and nobody except
the man in the ticket-wagon will be allowed to
wear diamonds. am just going up to the express
Office to send my seven pins, four rings, and sleeve
buttons home to my brother"
chow many consolidated shows do you adver-
tIse?'
"Only thirteen, but we have exactly sixteen.
We do not intend to do any blowing this summer,
but we will practice the modesty dodge. We have
twelve clowns, but advertise only ten. We have
ten elephants, but advertise only eight, and so on
right through"
"Have you the only man in the world who can
turn double somersault over sixteen horses?
"No; there is another man who can do it, and
although he is in State prison we didn't want to
say we had the only one. We shall practice no
deception and carry no humbugs"
"Haye you the only baby elephant?"
eyes, sir; but we don't advertise it. We don't
want to be mean toward other combinations"
"Will your street parade be a mile long 2"
1.-TWO of them, sir, but we don't advertise that
fact. We let people come and be agrceably sur
prised.''
"Have you got an elephant which has killed
seven MEM
"Seven Why he's laid out eight this very win
ter think the list foots up thirty-two, but we
don't advertise it. An elephant is an elephant
and what's the use of blowing about t?'
"You have two or three man eating tigers, of
courseT'
"Ofcourse-seven or eight of them, and we also
have list of the names of the people who have
been eaten by them, but we make no blow about
it,
Have you the sacred COW of India?"
eyes, sir; and the sacred OK of Japan, and a sa-
cred calf, and sacred pig; butwe don't blow over
'em. We let the public come in and separate the
sacred from the unsacred themselves"
"WiIl you have two circus rings?"
ave shall have four, but we don't put it on the
bills. As told you at the start, We are making a
new departure We shall not exaggerate We
shall not even tell the plain truth. No diamonds
no trumpets-no snide challengeS-no humbug
ofers-no field of the cloth of gold. We are going
to sail along in gentle, modest way, and give the
people five times the worth of their money. That's
all-children half price, and no lemonade sold
inside the tent"-Ffee Press.
National Republican. (Washington City (D.C.)) 1872-1888, 1881-03-19

of the cash balance for that purpose. Why should
the orphan be relieved when the boy who has the
mumps is overlooked? Then again, how are we
to tell whether they are orphans? They may have
three four mothers apiece for all this Legislature
knows to the contrary. What security has this
house that the orphans will ever see the money,
anyhow? Just as like as not you will spend it in
riotous living. You had better withdraw your mo-
ton, Parson for after this Legislature has sat down
on the crippled confederate soldier it is not afraid
of whole asylum full of orphans. close the de-
bate and the door," and Johnny shut the door in
the clergymans face. The latter gasped for breath,
but passed on wondering that he had not heard of
Johnny'S insanity before.
When Johnny came back to the breakfast-table
his father asked him who was at the door.
at was Rev. Goodman, but I sat down on him
in the committee room. / don't think he will
bother this house any more this term"
Johnny's father remarked that sending the boy
to Austin had made fool of him, but he thought
he knew of a remedy. Johnny replied, carelessly,
that there had already been too much special leg
slation in that family, anyhow and strolled off to
school.
His experiences at school were very discourag
ing. When he was called on to say his lesson he
wanted to refer the whole matter to the committee
on spongeS and slate-p pencils. The teacher asked
him what he meant by talking such foolishness.
THAT, sah," said Johnny, striking an attitude
and thrustns one hand in his vest, that sab, is
question that can only be answered outside of this
hall, sab"
The teacher replied:
Just as the gentleman wishes. After adjourn
ment We will have joint discussion"
And SO they did. When Johnny came home he
was the sorcst boy on Galveston Island; but he was
still choekfh of legislative lore, for when his
mother told him that his father had left word for
him to clean up the yard he laughed -eontemptu-
ously, and said:
"Ha! Another message from the Governor. L
believe the old man faneies he can run this legis
lature, but he will find out about that before the
session is over" &c.,
When the old man came home the first thing he
wanted to know was why that yard was not cleaned
up. Johnnygavehim some nonsense about his
Directing to the Governor uSurping Legislative
power, when the old man reached out and made
successful motion to lay Johnny on the table,
and then, with Il strap he had been holding in re-
serve. he warmed up Johnny so that his applause
could be heard several hundred yards Off Johnny
wanted to tell the Governor how much he admired
his Communication policy, but there was such rush
of business that he was overlooked.
There" said Spillkins, ST., as he threw away the
Legislature again.
Johnny is private citizen now, and looks upon
his legislative experience as horrid dream.
National Republican. (Washington City (D.C.)) 1872-1888, 1881-03-19
BERTHAIS ROMANCE.
A Thrilling Story of True Love i'm Ho-
bOken, New Jersey.

"Berthaw
"George"
She fell into his outstretched arms, and for an
| instant nothing was heard except noise like a
horse drawing his foot out ofthe mud.
George had kissed her.
In years agone Bertha Montravers and George
Benson had played together as children. Now
| George always played it alone if he had four
| trumps Bertha was the only child of proud
father, who lavished upon her everything that
credit could purchase while George the son of
poor but Republican parents, and sent out to bat
tie with the world ere the roseate flush of boyiSh
health had ceased to mantle his brow. At the time
our story begins however a roseate flush was no
better to him than one of any other color. He
played them ALL from bobtail to straight. Almost
unconsciously he had drifted farther and farther
away on the broad stream of life from Bertha's re-
fning influence, and, although never in any sense
a wicked man, had fallen in with q fast set, and,
as he expressed it in his simple, manly way, "was
trying to keep up with the procession" One day
his old Sunday school teacher had met George,
and asked him if he was slave to the wine cup.
George said he was not that he thought man
who would drink wine from cup ought to be
looked after. Then the teacher asked him if his
life was happy one and George said he should
relax his features. The teacher afterWardleaTned
that this meant he should smile. This has nothing
to do with the story, but shows that George had
been around some.
winters sunset was coldly gliding cluster of
shanties in Hoboken. One of these shanties, which
seemed to shun the light, was built in small hOl
low with its back against rock. Two or three
goats were playing in front of the door, and some
hens were nesting in the dirt the sunny side of
the wall opposite. In the middle of the pathway
a dead rat threw all the surrounding harmonies
into minor key.
From the door of the shanty man emerged, and
one corner of the lot In half an hour he came
back.
"Ihave done it. Molly" he said to a woman who
came to the door, She nodded her head and went
inside again.
He had creased harness.
Bertha and George were sitting in the parlor of
her late fathers residence The old gentleman had
died two months before and left his vast wealth to
Bertha This was tough on George, but he con-
tinued to come around to see her just the same.
The young couple were evidently of an economical
turn of mind, for notwithstanding that the room
was filed with costly furniture, they occupied only
one chair between them.
"Whose ducky are oo?" said George.
"Tm COR ducky; whose ducky are oo?" This
from Bertha.
"Tm DOR ducky."
Let us draw veil over the painful scene, and
then build partition behind the veil. They were
married two weeks later.
"What has the chapter about the shanty and
the dead rat got to do with this story?" some may
ask.
got Victor Hugo to write that for me. 1t doesn't
fit in very WELL but when it comes TO descriptive
work Wick is cake-taker.
National Republican. (Washington City (D.C.)) 1872-1888, 1881-03-19
T,,ev Have Lingering Homes.

Postmaster Anderson, of Pittsburg, who
has beenlhere for some weeks past working for a
reappointment, left last night for his home Mr..
Anderson is not altogether certain of his reap
pointment, but says he still has lingering hopes.
Captain bravo, whose nomination for surveyor
of the port of Pittsburg expired with the last
sion of the Senate, is now in the city, endeavong
to persuade the President to reappoint him. The
Captain, like his friend, Mr. Anderson, is also In
delightful state of uncertainty and is waiting with
calm serenity his fate.
National Republican. (Washington City (D.C.)) 1872-1888, 1881-03-19
CHINA sAHEB MAHARAJ.

China Saheb was once a joint magistrate Of
Kohlapur. but unfortunately died twenty years
ago. He Was much admired by his brethren,
and when the conspiracy was frst con-
ceiyed it became necessary to have a head
in whom the people could have confidence. Re-
membrance of China Saheb fioated in the brain of
the chief conspiratOrs and they accordingly passed
off a stranger named Rambat for the real China
Saheb. Only a favored few were allowed to be-
hold the false China Saheb, but he was implicitly
believed in" The evidence thus far adduced is
very interesting and much against the prisoners.
IJIRA MCNAII
National Republican. (Washington City (D.C.)) 1872-1888, 1881-03-19
A London journal reports that q no

A London journal reports that new
and somewhat remarkable invention has appeared
at Turin. 1t consists in the application of light
giving materials to printing ink, by which print
becomes luminous in the dark, so that in future it
will be possible to read at night in bed or on jour-
ney without the assistance of candle or lamp 1t is
said that new daily paper is about to be printed
in Turin with this luminous ink.
National Republican. (Washington City (D.C.)) 1872-1888, 1881-03-19
AneIaMare LOTTERY ELL.

DOVER, DEL, March ia lottery bill
was introduced in the house to-day under the
title of The Diamond State Improvement Com
pany" 1t was proposed to carry on the lottery
business at Delaware, under $4,000 security, the
concern to pay $4,000 to the State next January,
and an equal amount yearly thereafter The bill
was indefinitely postponed by unanimous vote
National Republican. (Washington City (D.C.)) 1872-1888, 1881-03-19

An invention which must prove Of
much importance in architecture and sculpture
has recently been made by DR.. Gehring, of Land
shut, Bavaria. By means of an enameling liquid
he claims to be able TO render any kind of cement
or stone harder than granite, and gives it the ap-
pearance of any other mineral desired. The
enamel may also be applied to metal and is said
TO efTectually preserve il from rust.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1881-03-31
4 SIigh Toned. Obituary

The following mgh-lonvd OBITUARY
vas "pIantod' in the BtoohIvn "Ea.
gle "oy her late husbtn1. Smrtt
aud dearest Mary had lived N Den.
yer before aud after it became a city.
"Snitn-Bustrd trace, in tbs
city, Friday, just after drnne" Mary
SmIIh, wife Of the undersigned, and
daughter OF old Sim Pratt, the lead,
ing bl,cks mith Of Denver, Co.orado
The corpse WIS hjehly respected by
the blgh-tonei families, bpt death got
the drop on her, AMI She took he "
bucket with perfect conf iena" tuat
she would have SO are Stow h,
other side Of the Divide. The plant
tranepires tins afternoon at ter board
ins-L ouse. Oh Willow street Come
one. come all.
Dearest Mary, tnou hast 'efl MS,
For Y on earth there WASH room;
But It's Heaven TINT hath ber,ft US
And Snatchtd our darling up the tlumt
Denver papers please copy anc
send bill or draw ut sight.
"By her late husband,
P SMITH.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1881-03-31

,;ro
80 soor INNS. vop9" sa;d Lena
w;s,fol)v "Y.s 7 ,ur, o.e Won had
bs,tsr-John m,ybl 1e angry Good
bve"
She raised her face as she spoke,
and Cecil bsnt wit, IL, ewes n,Il of
binding tears, and, for the frs, aoa
lost time in hi, life kissed her ljps
uo ,rrra1 as ia raacnad the door
md Iools back f., . last f,rwell
Lon, wea ,v;n, on in. copch N her
white dress;n, ,own with tb. fnlI
blazs Of the sunlight on her ripp N -,
La,r and lool; nf ,nn,,-r,hin love IN
IA, bIns eyos
x
Three times The violet. had bi,o,ned
aod faded on Ionas crave and al
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1881-03-31

1t was Agnes who stood between
Cecil and Johns Just anger, who
preached patience and taught the dl
vine lesson Of forgiveness to Frank
Agnes who through the miserable day s
that followed was everything to Lena.
The girl was at first indignant and as
tonishe,l then humiiitated end almost
heartbroken at the stories flying about
which in spite Of Agnes care reached
her ears. II was torture to her sensi-
tive pr ,u1 nature t. know, rs she
walked up the village, that the peo
pie turned out to look after her and
pointed her out as the girl who had
gone off with the young Squire and
caused his engagement to be broken
Oft with Miss Ma!Ienger.
Once. when walking np the lane,
the pony -carrlag4 from Groylands
passed, and Lena WIS conscious thai
Miss Mtlleny yer-who nad al ways be.
fore had a smile and nod for the
mlllers pretty aater-tnrned and
looked At ber without shadow ot
recognition in her proud contemptu-
Gus eyes. And Joan gIoo ny lace
as be sat night at,er night IN the
house, smoking his pipe and pretend.
ing to read, iuslea: Of spending the
evening in his cid way, saunterlng
about the village or gosslping win
his friends, Was punishment enough
1t was all very well for Agnes to tax
OF fighting 1t out and llvns 1t down
but Lena had neither strength OF mana
nor strength ul b)1y for tnat. Cecil
who had become such an essential
part Of Ger life, had gone away tor an
indefinite period; aud the world Wa.
full OF trouble, Lena ,honght; and tn
best thing to do MAS to die and GEL
out OF 1t all.
Frank began to get terribly anx
ious about her pale lace and constant
cough. His only sister had died O
consumption, and he knew the slgn'
OF the disease too we'll not to rear
danger in the sudden hush that ev
ery now and then famed into hel
cheeks, and in the unusual bright
ness of her eyes He had been, afte
the ilst angry feeling hal passed
away, everything that was god anc
kind; and he had quite laughed at hl'
auut's suggestion that bis engagement
should be broken off Why on enrtt
should be do that' Was it because
Cecil Cheva!lier had behaved like
dishonoraule coward? be asked 81
sternly that Miss Meiburne Was 81
lenced, though unconvlnced.
1t WAS October and the nights wer'
growing chill and cold. In the Woo
the nuts hung ripe, and the li'tl'
busy hands that used to gather then
lay folded white and still in Lena
lap. They would never again plucl
THE primrose or gather bcquets 0
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1881-03-31
THE END.
Selling a EEaias'ciod
Short.
How Mr Fay Gould Made '"n
Profits Oh the II ~ anl Ii
stock

From the PhiladeIohtu St",day ,Fnr'd
Gould to his A.sist4nt--EIalut th'
two roads trying ,o buy the Th ,ye'
stock?
A~siytant-Yes; n. J G. and B
and O
Gould to his Assistant How abo,,;
Pensy
Assistart-B lieve den want it.
Gould-Yum.
Thaver to Goald-I control tn T.
w. aud B. The fellows thai want my
stock have got to come up to my hg
ures
Gould to Thayer-Shohl
Thayer to Could amt got NY
self majority, but kin get it.
GouId to Tnayer-Right off
Thayer to Gcuid-llulcker light
mng,
Gould to Thayer-If saw 40, ,OOC
shares lying right on that table atore
me | d snatch 1t at 70.
Thayer to Gould-Woula ye though
Gould 70 Thayer-Ii plank the
cash right down.
Thaypr to Gould-Loos -a-here'
We can hitch on this thing. | Il tell
yer what III do. I'll make bargain
to deliver yol them 10000 shares at
10.
Gould to Thayer-Shoh! But you
darent put it in black and whltel
Thayer to Gould-Just shove me
that pen. Here goes.
Bargain cousumnated.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1881-03-31
Srlerfed Hoehy
Stolen Kisses.

Stolen Kisses.
In silence and hush of dream,
With never a sound to be heard,
But touch of lips in he CLEAN
Oithc fire, and never Il woId;
The echo will ever repeal,
Breaking the silence in twain,
"Stolcn kisses are always sweet,
And love is never in vain''
For Il kiss would maiden wake
From the Charm ofa drcanful sleep
And touch of true love wdnld break
The peace tina, the blue eyes keep.
For ever the echo shall greet.
Like song of Il rIpeniny rain
"Slolrn kisses are always seet,
And love is never in VAIN =
When heart, and lips have grown cold,
And love lives hut fir IN hour;
When lift's romance has been toln,
Aud kisses have lost their power,
Then shall soft memory fleet,
No more Il dream to cnchain;
Yet stolen kisses are al"a"s sweet,
And love Is never in vain
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1881-03-31
Muggins was one dav with friend

Muggins was one day with friend.
when be obSet7oA poor dog that had
been killed lying in the gutter. Mug
gins raose', gazed intent'y at the
dead animal, and at last said Here
is another shipwreck "Shipwrecsl
Where? 4 bark that's lost forever.
HIS ccnpanon grow led and passed
on
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1881-03-31

Kidder, my friend, saws Gould. old
man Thayer has just sold me short
hundred and twenty thousand P W.
and B. at 20. That's majority. He
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1881-03-31

Why does two-shil|ing cane and r
Eve-c4ot c7car swell young man s
head uulli his hat won't fit him ?
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1881-03-31

Why is it that women with the best
compilations deliberately ruin them
with cosmetics ?.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1881-03-31

A great many PhiIadelphians are
congratuiatng Satin that be does no.
have to pay 81 IA ton for coal
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1881-03-31

No lady with any refinement will
ns= her hu,b,nl'- meerchaum pipe to
drive nais in the wall,
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1881-03-31

Teach your boys tla, true lady
tn " BE- found in calico quite as fire.
nuen,y AS in velvet.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1881-03-31

An Edgmont girl at sleIgh'ng
.ourna uent recently made nine miies
81 on. lap.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1881-03-31

. Itt,kes 4 pretty smart woman tc
10 >p,oNiog When trip'rtS strike nr
An anvil chorus about midnight, and
DON t Won forget 1t.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1881-03-31

Whv will people get married when
counting is 50 sweet?
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1881-03-31

A str6pper: The village sobco.
master.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1881-03-31
M'sfin,'.
Fol. Want OfTaa0uIgs2t.

(coNTlNUED FROM LAST WEEK.