Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1881-05-11

My friend Tom has a natural affectio
for dirt, or rather dirt hiss natural affet
tion for Tom. 1t is to him what gold wa
to Midas: whatever he touches turns t
dirt. No matter how white the cravat, n
matter how INN aculate the vest, the me
ment it comes within the sphere of Tom
influence its whiteness IS gone; it is i'm
maculate no longer.
Dogs, sweeps and lamp lighters neve
pass him without leaving upon his dres
unequivocal marks of their presence
Once, and only once, saw him cross tn
street without encountering the wheels o
carriage. opened my mouth to con
gratulate him, and before | could utter on
word he was covered with mud. Tn
careless blockhead lay at my feet, full
length in the gutter. AT my earnest solici
tation, he once purchased a suit of pre-
cisely mud color. 1t was a capital idea
He crossed the street three times; h,
walked half a mile, and returned, in ap
pearance at leact,l unscathed. The thin,
was UNPRECEDENTED.
True, he was welcomed by the affec
tionate caresses of a dog that had beeI
u
horse pond; true, he received a showe
bath from the wheels of an omnibus. Blu
to plaster mud on Toms new coat was SO
gild refined gold-to paint the lily"
''Tom will be neat man yet," / said
as | witnessed the success of my plan.
In about half an hour it was my fate tC
meet gentleman with seven stripes Of
green paint on his neck-lt was my FRIEND
Tom; he had been leaning against somt
newly-painted window blinds.
Having no other amusement, one morn
ing strollcd over to Toms rooms. As
assembled the stairs, heard his voice in 9
very decided tone:-
'.But it must be done, and there is an
end to it."
Really" was the reply, ''anything
within the limits of possibility, bat to make
a coat in ten hours-I will promise any
thing in the world, but l really fear shall
not be able to perform
''lf double your price Will be any OBJ.
ject-"
Certainly. sir, if you insist upon it; Ger
tainly. | will put every man IN my shop
upon it; it shall be done in time. Good
morning, sir"
The door opened, and fellow with
shears and measures passed out What
could Tom be doing with tailorl
'Just the man wanted to see," he ex-
claimed. 81 require your advice upon a
very important affair; which of these cravats
do you think most becomingf' and he
spread before me some half dozen of every
hue and fashion.
'.Now what in the name of all that is
wonderful does this mean, Tom? A fancy
ball, is IT. Iou have chosen an excellent
disguise; your nearest friends will never
know you. Put you cannot support the
character; if you had taken that of Chin
ney sweep, now; but that would have been
too natural. Tell me truly, Tom, what
does all this meant"
"Why, the fact is, Frank" passing a
land through his hair, redolent of macas-
sar. al have concluded-1 think snail be
little more neat in future. You, doubt
less, remember the good advice you gave
me some time since; it has had q wonder
full effect, assure you"
Now, 1t so happened that of all the good
advice had ever given Tom, this was the
very first instance in which he had seen fit
to follow 1t. So l could not attribute the
metamorphosis of my friend to my elo-
quence. Who but a woman ever changed
a sloven to fop.
'.Pray, where are you going this even
ing2" l continued, ''that you must have a
new coat SO suddealya"
''Going, nowhere in particular. l had,
indeed, some idea of calling on my old
friend, Mr.. Murray; no harm In that, l
hope"
''Your old friend, Mr.. Murray; and his
young niece, Miss Julia, has no share in the
visit, supposed heard that she arrived
in town last night"
'.Now, upon my word, Frank, you mis-
take me entirely. did not know that she
was in town last night-when THAT is,
when | did not know anything about it,
"And so you were there last night, tool
Really, this is getting along brayely."
"Why, the fact is, frank you must
know everything. l called last evening to
see Murray on some business about that
real estate, you know. had no more idea
of meeting a woman than boa constructor
my beard was three days old, my collar
ditto, and the rest of my dress In excellent
keeping. became engaged In converse
tiOn, and somehow or other l forgot all
about the real estate. =
land so you are going again tonight
and that is the secret OF your new coatf"
by no means; 1 wanted new coat,
and tailors are always so long, you know.
Do you think blue will become mel Blue
is her favorite-that isl mean blue
''Oh, go on-don't stammer-blue is her
favorite color, is itl''
''The fact is, Frank-take another glass
of this wine-the fact is-gOod wine, isn't
it-been two voyages to the Indies-the
fact is, suppose rather fancy-I am
little in love. Try some Of that sherry.
What are the symptoms, Frank-a queer
feeling about the heart, and something
which drives the blood through one like
lightning?"
exactly 1 believe have seen Julia;
short and chubby, isn't she, with red hair
and little squint eyed?"
'Frank, | never did knock you down.
though l have been TEMPTED to do so a
great many times; but if you don't stop
that nonsense, will"
''Quite valiant In defence of your lady
love. Well, Tom, will confess that she
Is lovely girl, and tomorrow will call
and learn your success. So, good morn
ing.
'sNell, Tom, what SUGGEST"
"Mould you believe Itf' sne did not
recognize me-"
Not recognize your
'.No. You know what quiz that Muir
ray is. As soon as he saw me enter,
dressed in such style, he came up, shook
hands with me, and, without giving me a
chance to say one word, introduced me to
Julia, as Mr.. Frederick Somebody. And,
would you believe it, that little witch did
not know me. l think should not forget
her so easily.
'.Nor was that all. Murray SAID some
thing about the fellow who called there
the previous evening" country cousin,
he said, clear enough, but an incorrigible
sloven.
s"And Julia said he dressed ike bar
barian-just think of that, Frank, bar
barian. She shall pay for that yet. Such