West Virginia freeman. (Parkersburg, W. Va.) 1881-1886, 1881-03-30
Geese in a New Light.

thew have no hands to hold onto
lamp posts with; while at the best
Of times their balance is precarlouss:.
Even when sober, fat goose, II
travelling on uneven ground, con-
stantly cants forward on its beak, or
backward on to it's tail but when
inebriated it is utterly helpless. "A
short while ago, farmers wife IN
Germany had been making some
cherry brandy; but as she found,
during the process, that the fruit
was unsound, she threw the whole
mass out into the yard, and, with
out looking to see what followed,
shut the window. AS it fell out a
party of geese happened to be wad-
ding by and, seeing the cherries, at
once investigated them. The pre-
liminary inquiry proving satisfac-
tory, these misguided poultry set to
and ate the whole lot. The effect
of the spirituous was soon apparent,
for on trying to make the gate
which led from the scene OF the de-
bauch to the horse-pond, they
found every thing against them,
Whether high wind had got up,
or what had happened, they could
not tell, but it seemed to the geese
as if there was an uncommonly high
sea running, and the ground set in
toward them with a steady, strong
swell that was most embarrassing
to progress. To escape these diff
cultics some hove to, others tried to
run before the wind, while the rest
tackled for the pig-stye. But there
was no living in such weather,
and one by one the craft lurched
over and went down.
Meanwhile the dame was attract
ed by the noise in the fowl-yard,
and looking out saw all her ten
geese behaving as if they were mad.
The gander himself, usually so sol
emn and decorous, was balancing
himself on his beak and spinning
round the while, in prodigious
furry of feathers and dust, while
the old gray goose, remarkable
among her kind for the circumspec-
ton of her conduct, was lying stom-
ach upward in the gutter, feebly
gesticulating with.her legs, Others
of the party were no less conspicu-
Gus for the extravaganza of their at
titude and gestures, while the re-
mainder were to be seen lying in a
helpless confusion of feathers in the
gutter by the pig-stye. Perplexed
by the spectacle, the dame called in
her neighbors, and after careful in
vestigation it was decided that the
birds had died of poison. Under
these circumstances their carcasses
were worth nothing for food, but as
the neighbors said, their feathers
were not poisoned, and so they set
to work then and there and pluck
ed the ten geese bare.
Nextmorning the good woman got
up as usual, and, remembering the
feathers down stairs, dressed be-
times, for it was market day, and
she.hoped to get them off her hands
at once, But as she approached the
door, ard turned the key, there
fell on her ears the sound of a
familiar voice and then another and
another, until at last, the astonish-
ed dame heard in full chorus the
well-known accents of all her
plucked and poisoned geese. The
throat of the gander was, no doubt,
trihe husky, and the gray goose
spoke in muffled tones suggestive
ola Christening headache but there
was no installing those tongues.
The key turned at last; the door
opened, and there, quacking in
subdued tones, suppliant and shiv-
ering stood all her flock! But alas
among them all there were not
enough feathers to have winged
one anew. There stood the ten
miserable birds with splitting
headaches and parched tongues,
contrite and detected, asking to
have their feathers back a gain.
The situation was painful to both
parties. Here were the geese
before her, bald, penitent and shak-
ing with the cold; there in the
corner were their feathers in bag.
But how could they be brought
together? Even snnnosina ooob