Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1881-01-17
ALL SORTS,

That mortal eyes had ever seen;
Her name was AnaDel Christine.
Her bangs were curled with bandolue.
Her cheeks were smoothed with vasaline,
Her teeth were brushed with fine dentne,
Her face was washed in coaline,
Her gloves were cleaned with gasoline.
She wore dress Of grenadine.
Looped over skirt of brilliantine,
Her petticoat was bombazine.
Her foot was shod with kid bottine,
Her wounds were healed with cosmoline,
She sailed away from Muscatine
In ship they called the Brigantine.
She iirted with gay marine
Till they reached the Republic Argentine,
Where they were married by dean.
And lived on oleomargarine.
MOTHER WRITEs-"When children begin to cough
at night give dose of WHITES ELIXIR; one or two
doses always stops the cough, and the child sleeps
well. Nothing is SO wearing on small children in
cessant coughing during the night. my children
always do. when they have colds. If by any means
happen to be without WHITES ELIXIR. 1t might be
truly called the Elixir of Life all who are subject to
coughs and colds.
"Why, Frankly" exclaimed mother at friends
table. ~ knew you ask for second piece of
pie at home" Il knew twas use" replied Frankly
quietly, as he proceeded with his pie eating.
INvALIDs SHOULD NOT FAIL to use the famous blood
Alternative, spring tonic and restorative known
as Wyomoke. Eminent physicians in all schools Of
medicine recommend this nerve nvigorator as posi-
tive nerve specific in all nervous diseases, heart aec-
tions, brokendown constitutions etc. etc. Price only
$lOO, $3.50 and $500. Sold by all druggists. Letters
from gentlemen and ladies in the highest walks Of
social and public hfe who have been benefited by
using this remedy. sent application. Copies are
| with each bottle Of Wyomoke.
little fellow lately asked his parents to take him
to church with them. They said he must wait until
he older. "Well," was the shrewd suggestion in
response you'd better take me now, for when get
| bigger may not want to co.
No purer safer more unobjectionable stimu liant in
| medicine than Malt Btters.
Tears contain "a little phosphate of llme some
| chloride of sodium, and water" But this is not all
they contain. Pretty often. when dropped from the
| eyes of woman, they contain argument that in
duces man to hand over the price of new winter
/ bonnet.
| No. S1Ri-A Scotch minister once said woman
| could bear pain well a man. That is not so
The fact is generally the other way. Mrs. Edward
Meyers of Rondout. N Y, submitted to the operation
of the removal of her hand by amputaton, withou
taking ether or moving muscle or uttering groan
Dr. Kennedy. also of Rondout. N. Y, who performe
| the operation, said he never such heroism. Tn
ladys disease eyspelas. and afterwards the Doc
tor gave his Favorite Remedy" to cleanse the blood
Mrs. Meyers is now well and strong. DR.. Kennedy
.Favorite Remedy" at dollar bottle is the thin
for female weakne and all complaints arising froT
bad blood. But the Scotchman mistaken.
There was fight imminent between two boys o
| Elm street Monday evening. One of them dark
limited that he was bigger than the other. The small
er. who is the son of deacon, defanty retorted:
don't if you're big church debt: you can
scare me-"
| HINTS TO FARMERs.-Don't let your horses be see
standing much at the tavern door, don't look RICH
Don't he without HENRY & JoHNsoN's ARNIcA AN
Oh LINIMENT near at hand to apply in case OF acc
. dent. Keep good fences-especiay line fences;
promotes good feelings among neghbors. Kes
Downs ELIXIR always in the house. and use in cas-,
of sudden coughs &c. a safeguard against consum
| ton and other dangerous diseases. BAxTER's MAJ
DRAKE BrTrERs. taken according to directions.
2 | large expense in doctors bills.
"oh. there you are, SMITH How's the wife
e "Wuss. I'm afeared. SIR" ''Indeedi Is she wande
ng?" mo, no; she's sensible. That's what L
afeared of. l never knowed her sensible. She
onnaturaly sensible"
e CGt04Th.
;, The remarkable results in disease s
s universal and with such variety {
q characteristics as Catarrh, prove no
effectually Hoods Sarsaparilla actin
; through the blood, reaches every part {
y the human system. A medicine, lii
e anything else, can be fairly judged onl
by its results. We point with pride
the glorious record Hoods Sarsaparil
!; has entered upon the hearts of thousanG
l. Of people it has cured of catarrh.