Richmond daily palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1876-1904, 1881-01-12
LOCAL NEWS.
A STRIPED BASS.
q S,se story THAT Nobody vouches
WashinGton Post.

For
Washington Post.
IL see an item in one Of the paper'
about n dog down in Georgia who stol'
q nickel aud bought some meat l hav,
some very sagacious animals myself DID
you ever hear sbout that striped bass ol
mines got him two years ago. up In
Pennsylvania He's the most sagacious
cuss in the world"
"Don't think I know hun, replied the
city editor, 10 whom the question was
addressed as he particularly smart
sEIe done thing recently that made
some talk in our neighborhood. We
had company for supper one night,
and the cat stole the meat while my
wife wasn't looking. Took it right
off the stove What do you suppose
that fish did? He Just Hoped out Of
his tub and crawled into that pan, and
began to cook himself. He didn't pro-
poss.to have anybods q way from my
house hungry. NJ, wife snatched him
out Of the pan and lung him back into
the water Ten inmates afterward she
found him trying 10 Gale himself with
y piece of tin. Fa An she had to
send for some more meat before he'd let
up He's knowing one, that bass A
couple of weeks ago he had row with
the servant girl 1t was her place to
feed him with spiders, and she forgot
him for two days. He didn't say much,
but the third day he began to rear
around and tear things. How do you
think he got even with that girl3''
Haven't the remotest idea" said the
ely editor. -,
spoons in her trunk. We missed 'em,
searched her room, and discharged her
without q character. The way we found
it out was his trying to play the same
dodge on my wife for not letting him
sleep in the teA-kettle during the cold
snap. 1t takes the whole family to get
ahead Of that fish Yesterday the water
froze stiff in his tub, and he put up
danger signal and was skating around it
on his tail and irving to fall in, when we
fonnd him. broke the ice for him, and
that night he sent me hs5 lis SIS, be
cause. the sudden ths5 ia. the nh jus
stock aud he felt Is him and cheap h.
gave dollar ~ ne
was" ~ conceded the cit,
ed.dosi -~ .Es-ss-s-s ( G, $50 3
ng age hefd the dern - - !
you ever seen Vent dorm elslIs and
there he was, sittisQ q, the sisicSof sud-
and Class of oockk reaches was reading:
1t n man. W. the mani Has he
boil on his e. : hiss two boils on
ms chm. Wb~ =. the man dot Shall
he wipe off us cain? The man shall
wipe off his chin That fish had got
hard up and had started night school,
nd
course | had to bust tbat-couldn't
stand the noise. Would you like to
publish something about hims His name
is Abelard and Heloise."
What do you call him that fort"
Cause he likes il and cause he's all
brains and affection. When was sick
month ago he took my medicine for
me, and when my son froze his ear that
fish went around with his head bandaged
up, just out of sympathy. We made
him q nice Christmas present, now you
bet!"
what was ita' inquired the city ed
itor.
"A rat-trap."
"What does he do with a rat-trapf'
"He sets it and plays mouse. He'll
dart into that trap and holler like bull
reckon he has fun to himself. He broke
the trap the other day. but he didn't
notice it. So he went in and sat there
for forty eight hours, waiting for the
spring to catch him.
"Cant you bring him down and let
one see hint" asked the city editor.
well, not exactly" stammered the
stranger. "He's busy now, and will be
he ha1 .,f hs vx,,,,
up the plans for Panama ship canal
His idec is to put the sea serpent right
across the isthmus, and run the ships
down his throat He's got to swallow,
you know, and when they reach the Pa
ci6c side he cuts open the serpent and
they sail out Besides that, he's lame"
"Hurt himselff''
"Yes. Yesterday morning he was
sort of siesta, and he fell and sprained
his knee"
His whatf' demanded the city editor.
'.His fin," said the stranger, correcting
himself. He fell over . ten foot fence
and came down ON his thumb"
do you know you're an awful Hart"
asked the city editor.
mo, amt Haven't got as much
right to fish as Georgia man to dogf
Amt my fish as smart rs his pupf Be
sides, my fish has got bunions and the
,pring halk and he can HEX any dernd
dog In the State of Georgia; now, you
hear me, " and the proprietor of Abelhard
md Heloise marched away, offering 10
bet that his fish could repeat more Bible
verses than any eur outside of . Presby-
erian orphan asylum for hundred to
twenty, money mp. ~
He In . Handy Man. Ccrsatnly.
New York Tribune. :
A person who styles himself HALO
nay, the we'll know horse-trainer from
he New Forest, England" and gives his
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