The Northern Pacific farmer. [volume] (Wadena, Minn.) 1878-1885, 1881-05-26
A VITAL SUBJECT.

Views from Ono Who Thinks lie Knows
Something About 1t.
1t is said that marriages are anade III
heaven, but I am quite sure that were
heaven allowed to argue its own defence, it
would most politely decline such RESPONSE
bility. 1t is time honorod adage, to be
sure, but, like many old, long unquestioned
theories in medicine, is apt to fall to the
ground upon receiving due attention. and
certainly our faith in tho infalibility Of the
heavenly powers would receive many rude
shock could We bring ourselves to believe
that all the iu-assorted unions upon this
earth were due to their mature deliberation
and dispensation. Ouida was never ON y
better track than when she took five hun
dred pages or so to illustrate the truth Of
the saying: "A young man married is Il man
that's marred, for undoubtedly to this fnct
alone is owing tie unfortunate results Of
many matches. A mans ideal at twenty
two or twenty three is in no way similar to
that at thirty, but at the former age. being
young, -bloodea, he falls in love with q
pretty face and amiable disposition. pro-
poses. and, if eligible, is accepted. During
the next seven or eight years, if he be 4 man
of intellect. he awakens slowly to the idea-
being young he is not apt to be awakened
ut once-that the woman he has married,
although she may be as pretty as ever, as
sweet as ever, is in no way suited to him as
a companion. Some men have forbearance
and nobility enough to conceal from their
wives the fact of their disappointment, but
tnan is selfish animal at best, and such ex-
ceptions are rare.
Later on perhaps he meets the woman
whom he recognizes AS his equal in every
respect, with whom he feels an entire SYM
q woman even prettier perchance than his
wife i am no defender of ugly women
and younger in years, and ages beyond in
intellect and force of character-the wom-
IN, in short, in whom he recognizes his ideal.
There can be no happiness in marriage
unless there be entire intellectual! sympa-
thy and equality. A marriage founded on
respect and admiration, of mental powers
is apt to turn out far better than that which
has nothing but love for its foundation.
unfortunately very bright girls are not apt
to attract men of near their own age. Their
brightness too often finds an outlet in sar-
'casm, sharpness of repartee, and perhaps
a touch of pedantry. They recover
when they have seen more of the world and
human nature, but it does in ure while it
lasts not emily hiding the latent, undeyeloped
powers beneath, but what is worse, max
ing the young men afraid Ut them.
A moderately pretty but thoroughly amia-
BILE girl, a girl who never gets into temper
eor says disagreeable things, girl in whose
not appear fool, is apt to make far more
shavoc in young mans heart than her clev-
or sister. Her youthful admirer is attracted
by her innocence. by her freshness, both
Of character and appearance, and imagines
himself hopelessly, irretrieyably in love.
he marries in spite Of the warning of his
friends that he is too young is happy Cor
(. while in her unvarying sweetness OF dis
position--unless that. too, prove delusion
and snare-and, later on, finds out his
mistake. Perhaps, as he grows older, he
realizes that he has abilities above the con-
anon, ambition developes itself, and ns his
desire increases to make his name known
among men, he finds himself hampered with
a large family and woman who has degen-
Grated into q mere mother Of his children,
nothing more. Then he meets the woman
who. if he had waited, would have been,
not only companion but help to him in
.ne thousand ways in which clever woman
can help All ambitious, rising man. and he
curses lis luck. Therefore it is not so bud
for young man to fall in love With q mar
sied woman, He can not marry her, no
matter how much he would like to, and,
lack Of possession keeping love alive for a
considerable length Of time, be does not
recover from the attack until his character
and experience are more matured. Then,
when he is ready total in love again, he is
more apt to know what he wants.
It would not. be bad idea were there /,
law prohibiting any man marrying before
he il thirty, fol. not until then, has he real
ly arrived at years Of discretion, whatever he
may think to the contrary. l have heard
anothers say that they would be glad to
have their9 sons marry as sosn as they be-
came of age, and while still IMMERSED In the
ways of this wicked: world. But doubt
whether they are right. A man is bourd to
gov his wild oats at some period OF other,
if he does not in the beginning he most as-
suredly will later on. Every man must
have his ding, and it is better to let him
have it at once and have done with it.
Moreover, when u man marries SO young
even if, not possessing any particular men,
tai capacity himself, he never discovers any
inferiority in his wife-he is apt to get tired
of all other vanities but the one he has
chosen. He marries, also, merely because
he is ''in love-" aad before the pleasures of
the world have ceased to be fresh and pala-
table to him. vy.t: %:
After the first glamour has worn, he find.
it possible to see beauties in other faces
beside the particular one of which he is the
happy possessor. He meets other women
whom, if he could not love, he would at
least like the opportunity of. studying, and
of passing unlimited hours in their society
unreproved. Also, he looks back with
many sigh of regret at his crop of wild
oats but half sown, at the forbidden pleas
ures and thoroughly good times from which
he has dobarred himself for the sake of d
milk and water prettiness which is already
beginning to wear off, Then eventually, il
he have money enough, he is bouud to fin
ish the sowing of that proverbial crop; he
may wait twenty years, but finish it he will.
If any one doubts the truth of this asser-
ton, let him look around at some of oul
illustrious contemporaries. Men who eth
or married young, or else were forced to
walk cha1ked line on account Of poverty
now, in the days of their wealth and gray
hairs, are madden and more disreputablt
than the worst of their sons.-ArgonUut.
HinIlO0s A0OntinR ChriStianitY.