The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1881-03-20
EPORTEIt
They r ArtistiealIy. socially, Iii.
nancially. Physically and Psy-
ehOl0gieally Considered.
BY ONE OF THEM.

BY ONE OF THEM.
You will always know a reporter on
sight. He has a heavenly PARKWAY look
in his eyes, and wears his best clothes
every day-because he can afford no
other. Reporters have an easy life, all
pleasure and pay. They go on duty at
noontime and get through at about one,
two, three or four O'Clock next MORN
ing. They have nothing to do but run
around, pry, and see people and ask
them the news. and then write it all
up. Isn't this pleasant?
There are various kinds of reporters:
The news, society, sporting, religious,
lighting, stock and railroad reporters.
A big newspaper in a bigger town m
ploys a squad of reporters like these,
but out here in the west the proprie-
tors always obtain one man of CYCLIC
pedic knowledge and universal talents
and he fulflls the. rounds of the profess
sion. The ordinary duties of reporters
are not difficult to combine ia one man,
except when it comes to clothing him
with righteousness for the religious
column, and endowing him with a
stuffed club for the duties of sitting
down on professional bullies and filling
up the ash-box with the human car
cases. 1t requires a bulging-browed,
broad shouldered and conscientious
man to fill the bill. We are just of this
size.
A reporter learns that it is the easiest
thing in the world To cause people to
talk-about him. To overlook the ar
rival of the finest baby ever born, is to
be charged with jealousy; slight a we'd
ding with the mere announcement of
the fact, and it is said you envy the
groom's good luck; fail to puff some
body's big scheme for making money,
and you are suspicioned of a desire
for a bride; write up a party or any
social gathering without printing the
name OF every miss of fourteen and up
wards, and you have Intentionally
sighted those who are disposed to be
friendly.
But what of this? A reporter is en-
lowed with the wondrous power of
overlooking such frailties. of humanity.
He will overlook anything but an err
ror of the printers that has gotten him
into the alternative of fighting or apol-
ogizing. However, he generally apollo
gizes.
And then a reporter is a favored fel.
low. He receives many invitations to
fetes and other happy occasions, some
times when he is not even acquainted.
But this Is done in Difference to his
high social position. You see he lends
a charm and a column and a half to a
festive occasion, and he is a royal good
fellow in consequence. Some folks
think the reporter would be invited
even If he weren't a reporter. But the
reporter doesn't think so. He always
gives q,id pro quo or words of similar
import.
A man need not have u classical edu-
cation to become Il reporter. Homer
is no use to him, because to the jour-
nalistic constituency Hanlan or Buffalo
Bill is a bigger man than Homer any
day. A reporter is expected to ''russlen
and "hump" himself when he stands
simgly and alone as the staff of a daily
paper. He may have to write up
an interview, a fire, shooting ARRAY,
religious meeting, dog fight, saloon
local, wedding and a funny article, all
in n day. This is what proves
the worth of the reporter, and demon
strates why he gets such a big salary
and wears diamonds and good clothes,
and a happy smile.
Reporters are unlike George WASH
ington-they a and do tell lies. A
reporter who wouldn't and couldn't
tell a lie wouldn't hold his position
long enough to write the second
''stickfull" of matter. That's why
there are no George Washingtons in the
profession. And then this experience
renders them callous. They seldom
die early. They're too tough. Prema-
ture piety makes a few of them bald
headed, but they overcome the failing
with maturity-that is, the pie:y; the
bald head remains as II shining example
of an egregious blunder.
OF course reporters get married. How
they get time to do their counting is a
mystery that is exceeded only by that
other mystery rs to how they manage
to get such excellent wives. They make
good, peaceable and happy husbands,
reporters do, because they never see
their wives except when they come
home to bed, and you know a drowsy
man can't quarrel very much.
Thus endeth the Sunday mornings
discourse on reporters.