davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1881-07-08
The Lawyers Boy.

Anybody who thinks that the boy
employed around lawyers office has
nothing to do but empty the paper
basket, run TO the postoffice, sweep
the room and read the jokes of Black.
stone, is grandly mistaken. \ boy
that is prize of a boy, and one
who will eventually become great
lawyer himself-has a heap on his
mind, and no time for sling-shots or
tops.
Yesterday while Il Detroit lawyer was
in court, with his boy in charge of the
office, newspaper man who was
hunting through the Motfat block
stumbled upon the young attorney and
was received with:
Come right in, sir. The papers in
your case are ready to be signed"
Nv hat caSe:'
"Application for divorce"
"'But I'm not the man."
"Ain'tyou? Well, you look like him.
Let's see: Are YOU the defendant in
the Jones VS.. Brown case of trespass
If so, am to tell you that the case is
put over until next Saturday, at the
same hour in the afternoon"
mo, | am not Brown"
"Well, that's all right. Let's see
again? | was to tell Ryan that his
case against Peter for Slander, would
not come on during this term, and to
suggest to him that he amend his
declaration. 1ou have not given the
dates, whereon the defendant called
you reptile and a sneak"
but | am not Ryan
is that so? That's too bad, but
perhaps you can't help it. Was it
your wife who eloped with a man
named Blake
No"
"Then YOU are not Mr.. Glen. !
was to tell him that he forgot to state
the particular time at which he first
noticed GOODNESS in her demeanor.
Lets, see? Oh! there that biga ny case.
was to say to the defendant that the
prosecution appear to have hunted up
and got hold Of the testimony of Il
third female who claims to have mar
ried you in Toledo in 1864, and that
your case looks shaky. We will, how
ever, do our best to pull you through
as we do our own clients"
"You are off again; | am hot the
man."
"Dear me, that's another. Well, all
right, | was to say to any new client
that would be back in an
hour. Come in and sit down and
look over the city directory. We will
take your case at the lowest cash price
and do our level best to Min it. Con-
suit no other firm until you have given
MS trial" ."-Detroit FIRES Press.
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1881-07-08

had prepared subtantlal lunch IN
/ the refectory.
/ Here, while refreshing themselves
the somewhat weary party gave sue
Sinct account of the events, that had
transpircd since the Colonei's family
had left Undertook, in the afternoon.
/ Many were the surmises us to who was
the stranger and what his name might
be. Loudoun and Brooks maintained
that he was the identical fellow that
had been arrested for frightening
the black horse, and it was resolved to
send messenger immediatel Y for old
Col. Plunkett, rs he, not only could
identify the prisoner, if such he
proved to be, but evidently knew his
name and history.
After short stay, Mr.. Brooks and
his friends, seeing that their services
were no longer needed, bade gooa-b bye
to the Colonel and his guests, prom
ising to avail themselves of his press
ing invitation to be present next day
at the coronation dinner.
They had departed, and LoGdo"n
was resting on a sofa in the library,
Lester and his friends having retired
to snatch few hours repose, when
DR.. Grayson arrived. He pronounced
Loudoun's injury trilling the wound
being flesh wound, and no bones
having been shattered by the bullet.
lie aud the Colonel who had been
again summoned, entered the room of
the stranger, and after a long, careful
and serious examination, the
Doctor grayely shook his head. The
ball had entered the left side very near
the region of the heart, and it was a
chance like that of the toss of a penny.
whether or not the young man would
recover. y strong constitution, care
ful nursing and above all perfect rest
and quiet were needed. to enable the
patient to pass successfully through
the ordeal.
The first he had evidently had, if it
had not been exhausted by dissipation
the other two requisites he assur-
edIy would have, said the Doctor, If
Col. Spaldins sustains on the present
occasion. the reputation he has al
ready obtained by lifelong exhibi-
ton of the virtues of benevolenee and
charity.
Col. Spalding bowed and pressed
che hand of the Doctor, in return for
the graceful compliment. The two
gentlemen bad been intimate from
boyhood and had grown up together
They took their degrees the same year
At Georgetown College, and after mar
riage had settled in the same neigh
borhood.
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1881-07-08
CHAPTER ~.
THE CORONATION CEREMONY.

Col. Spalding aud the ladies had
vaiied long and auXlouSiy for the ar
rival Of the young men, and na1,
were the suggestions and surmises as
to the reasons that detained them and
the causes OF their delay. When the
old family clock struck the hour OF
eleven, and us yet the welcome sound
of carriage wheels on the graveled
walk mad not awakened pleasant echoes
through the halls of the old mansion,
the ladies rose 10 retire, requesting
the Colonel to have them awakened
in case anything had happened to the
expecte,, guests.
The Colonel quoted their alarm by
laughingly assuring them, that it was
not an unusual thing for young men
to take a glass too much on a testal
occasion, and that their friends had
probably met another party of young
ster., and were enjoying conviyial
glass, while recountlng their expert
ences and discussing the events OF tie
dav.
Even while trying to reassure the
ladies' and to quiet their apprehen
sions, the worthy old gentlemen n was
himself becoming alarmed. lie knew
Lester to be u sober and temperate
Young man, however impulsive and
reckless he might be; and he judged
from the demeanor and manner OF
Loudoun, that he would not so debast
himself, us to make his first appear
ance at Rosedale in a state of intoXl-
cation.
Summoning his yatet Steve, wht
had grown gray in his service, an'
had often in the days gone by, whel
the Colon Il himself IA rolstering blad
land full Of fun, sat up and waited th'
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1881-07-08
sflerf Mlsrfllany.
Iw~ "a Bed in a Bath. I

Some men can sleep anywhere aud
no anything excepi Iounger. There
is something about an ordinary
lounge that will drive away sleep from
the sleepiest person in the world. y
person will 20 to church and sit right
straight in pew and 80 to sleep while
the minister is trying his best TO keep
the sleep awake, but let the same man
20 home and lie down on lounge aud
he can't 20 to sleep to save him. No
body knows what 1t is about II lounge
that drives sleep away. Harry Norri-
son, Young gas-fitter of Eu Claire,
who is boarding at his brotherin-law' 5
was asked TO sleep on lounge IN the
sitting room, as there was sickness in
the house, and it might be necessary
10 call on him in the night to 90 for
the doctor. He never was much on
lounges anyway. but there was moth
ing mean about him, so he prepared
to % 10 his rest so us 10 be handy in
case of emergency. lie camped down,
aud for two hours tried TO go to sleep.
Sometimes the back OF the lounge
would rear mp and hook in the back,
aud then it would stab him somewhere
else. The springs would work through
the cover and cork crew themselves
into his flesh, and every hair of the
lounge cover seemed to stand on end
and run into his vital parts. He got
nervous, and wished they would call
him and send him clear To Chippewa
Falls after Il doctor. Finally, he got
up and went into the bathroom,
where there was both-tub, which
looked to him as though it would
make downv 0ed, such aS an ange!
might sleep i'll, compared to the
louuge. ny is uo angel, but he got
some quilts and pillow and put them
into the 6a,h,tuh and !av down in it,
and in five minutes lie was asleep.
Most young men kick more or less in
their sleep, ami Harry is no exception.
lie Kicked, and his feet came in con-
tact with the faucet and turned the
water on. The cold ater struck the
quilts and made no noise to awaken
him, but gradually the coin fluid
found its way up his trousers legs,
along his spine and, in fact, all
him. lie began to dream that he was
on IN Arctic expedition, and while he
was lnnc hing on piece of frozen
boned seal, polar bear was eating
his feet off. Then he dreamed he was
shoveling snow on IA railroad and Il
snow plow had run into him and
threw him forty feet into the air. 1t
was at this time that he was grasped
by the hair of his head by his brother
in-law and jerked out of the bath-tub
under the impression that he was try
ing to commit bathtubicide. The
brother-in-law, who had got up to call
him, found him nearly covered with
water, snoring as peacefully as "a dea-
con in Il church.
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1881-07-08
[Springfie'd (Mass.) Daily Union.
His Answer.

They tell it of one of our citizens who was
am bling toward his place of business, that
he was approached by lady acquaint-
ance of the family, who said: "Mr.
hear you are suffering from rheumatism,
is it so2" "Rumor tits m'm,n said our
citizen of few words, as he proceeded on
his way. Over in Chicopee our neighbors
and friends have been having quite
time with rheumatism; but according to
reports received by our representative the
furry is over, as the sure antidote has
been used and thus commented upon :. Mr..
C. N. Manchester, Gu Ter street, says rela-
tive to his experience ! have used St. Ja-
cobs Oil, and esteem it the best remedy
have ever tried. 1t acts like magic, and
cannot over estimate its value, when I
pronounce it the greatest rheumatic REM
edy of the age.
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1881-07-08
IW ntten for the TINES.
KINDERHOOk ,
BN 10 STOW.

All was quiet in Bryantown, save IL
the hotel, hich was resplcndcnt Will
/ light and filled with jewellers. Her,
our travellers stopped, on pretense o
taking farewell drink, but in reaIit,
to allow Neale and Gardiner who haC
ridden close behind the carriage, tim,
and opportunity 10 give their horse.
/ privately to their servants, and thel
join Lester and Loudoun.
/ Just outside Of Bryantown there j,
at present Il cool road and neat brldg,
across the stream, which permeate'
the swamp. Several hundred yard,
above this bridge, the road FROM Bean
town joins the road to Port Tobacco
1T the time of which Ne write tul0
sixty years ago. these roads passed
through a dense piece of woodland
and an almost impenetrable thlckit
coTered the swamp on either side q,
the stream. Here was the place the
attack was expected and here it toos
place.
The carriage had passed the bridge
and Tom. the driver, had gathered uI
the reins IN his left band and called tC
MS horses TO gee up ar glt," when
the watchful Jim pluckrd his slees,
and shouting lookout discharged
his pistol. \ loud curse. a smothered
groan and heavy fall followed the
report OF the pistol. and a dozen dark
figures emerged from the bushes on
either side Of the road. From the
open carriage doors sprang Loulour
aud his friends, firing as they sprang
while the gentlemen from the front
and the tao darkios from the rear
with loud shouts came riding tcward
the carriage discharglng their pistols
towards the bushes.
The would be highwaymen were
caught in their own trap. Com
plete,y surprised, aS,ouEded and ter
rer-StrIkeE, tHeT took 10 their heels
aud He'd to the swamp, having fired
omiy two effective sbpts. One a. these
struck I.3uduuu in ,Ee icf' arm. " whi!t
the other wounded .He Etth(al and
daring Jim IN the r.-hi leg
,""s'"- ''|n' t'% ,'''s, anu c"FSe'
'.t : ,"1", ''',.' ''' -" 81 '''e 'flot
3i eaIh 'o'.eS from i"'Adoah ana ms
iF'en@s, quite NUMBER oi 'he rAsc4l'
must nave eSrh "oahdeu, out only
1''e - - 'f'5.' '''l a eu. '''i 's'at "''
tIe one tH"' .''''i nao IRE" a. 10 'a'
oesiHh'hS OF 't'e "ie',e' ne wa,
.o"Sa unconscious ot a ""7e pie oi
ofnsi'"ogd' ~aleA hAd o7eil placed IN
the h,.Asie ~ win las 10.
lshi'N 's,i - -
horses anu oFT' lhe Nase
: I'M : '.dI','t ., a'',i , a'ch'"i'''e's , na''
i'uS'f'.'e4 '"' "''''' sous u'S's' OF th'
se"'RaFeis-
Is soon Is report "i tAt ""H9ded
"''s iiIAne anu '"A's COZ" 'A'',' ana ':''
en- % '''e o''''''-',s Ii'''''e no" u q
az Lester Pl"''"Ss" '"''. 'ne s'i'l't
l"' , sho.'l" L'.s '",. 'i.'f 10 i''se'''''e'
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1881-07-08
I 8 10 sl1FF as tIls z AUElt'E fistI Et- aIEitN
u normal positi nd had ,nncd to
lis Charlie fou long ~ he
!. s.

/ standing IN a group. awaiting instruc-
items lron Lester. Advancing rap
/ ldly to them. the Colonel shook hands
ai;h each one, and invited them into
+ she library. Here in few words, the
adventures and transactions of the
ulght were explained.
The real metal : found in the cru
Iciblc. and the true character Of a
/ man Is discovered lu emergencies.
Col. Spaldiug was now every inch -
man, a live, energetic, seif,conlideut
and competent man. Cool is an ice
berg. he issued his instructions aud
f gave has orders with quiet ease and
gentle determination, that surprised
while j; please | l.oudoun and the
other gentlemen.
/ The first lre oC all was the injured
/ stranger. vino was severely If not Ia
tally wounded II MAS removed from
! the carF.a- :ua. large room on the
/ first tio,r tB tie right wing of the
| building. IL had recovered con
sciousuess, ba. Yas very faint from
/ ,oss OF blood \ messenger Mas sent
/ ior Dr. Grayspn. wIga instructions to
brias him immediately; II he were
not at home, D.. Thomas, from Bry-
Antown, was 10 be summoned.
After the Colonel aud the other
gentlemen had undreSsed the stran-
ger and had carefully and tenderly
put him in bed, the care of him WAS
left TO Mrs. Spaldlng and two colored
women who had acted as nurses
in the Spalding family for two gene. :
ations.
The attention of all hands was now
directed to louloun and the faithful
jim. Ioulouu's wound was slight
one, and he laughed ut the concern OF
his friends When it had been
washed and bandaged, he desired that
every care should be taken of Jim.
The latter persisted in saying, that he
would be all right tomorrow, that the
pain was nearly gone but Mr.. Brooks,
who was an amateur surgeon, shook
his head and privately Informed the
Colonel and Lester, that Jim was
more seriously injured than he APP
peared to be.
OF course the servants spread the
news throughout the plantation, and
Jim's wife was soon in the hall, beg
ging the Colonel to allow her 10 take
her husband to their little shanty.
This was deemed tle best plan to fol-
low and it would have done good to
the hearts of Lloyd Garrison, Horace
Greely and the whole crew of fanatic
abolitionistS, who permitted them
selves to run wild over the imaginary
horrors of slavery, to have seen the
negro slave jim, carefully raised and
tenderly carried in the arms of Lester,
Brooks and the other hard hearted
white slave holders, from the hall to
his cosy cabin. He was ordered to
: lie perfectly still. until the doctor
i should arrive aud examine his wound.
While these necessary acts of Chris
tian benevolence and genuine charity
were being performed, the servants at
the order of Mrs. Spalding and under
the supervision of Miss Lou, who could
preside in the dining room as well a;
, grace the parlor or lead in the mazy
!, intricacies of the inspiriting dance
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1881-07-08

After man gifts to be 3S years old
he kant form any new habits much
the best he kin do is to steer his cd
ones.
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1881-07-08

Emmy man who kan swap horses. or
ketch fish, and not lie about it is a
Plus as men get to be in this world.
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1881-07-08

return OF the bachelor parties, he told
him to take up his quarters In the
hallway near the front door and try
aud keep awake; aud us soon rs the
carriage arrived, To come into the
library and rouse his master. The
Colonel then retired to the library and
seating himself in his favorite arm
chair was soon fast asleep.
! The clock had just struck the hour
of three, and the watchful chanti-
cleers in the poultry yard were strech-
ing their limbs aud testing their
throats in joyful salutatiou to the
coming morn, when old Steve, who
had been struggling hard to keep
awake, reused by the clock was en-
deavoring to count the strokes. and
ha, already numbered seven in the
confused state Of his anricular facul-
tics, Jumped up aud threw o"en the
door, IN time 10 see the carriage slowly
approaching surrounded by men on
horseback.
Half asleep. fatlgued with his long
wstch, and in dread Of some calamity,
this move, aud unexpected sight was
toe much for the faithful old darkev.
>l4mmIng the door with noise that
awoke Il thousand discordant echoes
throughout the entire mansion, aud
altering an unearthIy howl, old Steve
rashed into the library TO arouse the
Colonel.
This last attempt was useless Not
only the Colonel, but all the inmates
o. the house were aroused by his veil,
aud rs Steve rushed 10 the library
door. the old gentleman rushed from
Il. The consequence was collision
the result IA Snfall-master and
servant measuring their full length
on the carpet, and each growing at
the stupidity OF the other, in using
his head rs battering ram. While
they were both trying to recover their
equilibrium and regain Il perpendicu-
lar position, a feat not so easy OF ac-
con- plishmeut. rs the Colonel was
rather portly aud steve ra'her rhen.
matte, and the Colonel was blessing
old Sieve with Satanic energy. the
door opened and Lester appeared on
tbe scene
"Nhv. halo, What in the thun.
der is this :" he exclaimed, in a per
irct roar Of laughter Il say. Colo.
ael. are you and old Steve playing
eap frog ali 10 your yourselves or
Aaye yen been playing ram aud got
droppcd in the encounter: You
kuoS nigger'S head is As hard rs :.
pine knot. and -"
"Saut up YOU rattle Drained Young
.ormentor and help me To my feet,
shon,ed the old Colonel.
As soon as the C.AoneI had rcpained
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1881-07-08

| have never known sekOnd wife
but what waz boss of the situation.
Smyrna times., 1881-08-31

wild flowers and ferns has as yet taken on
but few of the artificial adornments of a
park, yet its natural sylvan beauty is
rarely equaled, and the panorama of Mon
treal at its base, suddenly revealed during
the summit drive, and as suddenly hidden
by the dense woods adds feature in
striking contrast to the river and noun
tain scenery, stretching away to the hori-
zon. Our return to camp through the
canal was of little interest
With reluctance we shall leave the last
of the month, this delightful, health-giv-
ing retreat, and the pleasant acquaintance
we have formed with the kind-hcarted
hOspitable Canadians-enroute for Niagara
Falls and after brief sojourn in Wes-
tern New York, the writer will direct
her steps hOmeward to the Quaker City,
well pleased with her experience of camp
life, and advises all who wish at SOME,
future date to pass Il summer both pleas
antly and prottably, to try roughing it in
this region. :. F. WARREN.
"Stone House Point" Glen Walter, Ont,
Aug. 18th, 1881.
Smyrna times., 1881-08-31
All Sorts from All Sources =,

Canada has 4.350,533 inhabitants.
Mining stocks are badly depressed.
There is still a great deal of specula.
ton in wheat.
Krupp, the German cannon maker. en-
ploYs ld,te0 men.
The electric light poles are going up
rapidly in the city.
Excursion business ON the Delaware has
not been as good this summer as last,
Improvements, costing over $50, 900, are
being made on Wanama&er's Grand Depot.
Horticultural Hall when completed will
be vast improvement on the old struc-
ture.
There will be general rise IN the price
of bread this week, The hoom in grain is
the cause.
Nose than nine million copies of the
Moody and Sankey Gospel Hymns" have
been printed and sold.
1t is expected that the work laying the
underground telegraph wires will hegip
next week in Philadelphia,
The widow and daughter of Stonewall
Jackson are among the 800 guests at
ROckhridge Al''m Springs, Va.
Camp Garfield" is the name of the
place where the Rhode Island militia are
having their annual encampment.
For the first time in her history Maine
has no State election this year avery
body rejOices except the '1hoated voter"
Pretty girls at Newport wear crOchetted
Tam QShanters when it is foggy weather,
to save their best hats with the ostrich
plumes.
A AConnecticut COW, pastured somewhere
IN Middletown, recently swallowed piece
of wire used in bailing hay, and it was
found twisted around one Of her ribs,
Governor Hamilton, of Maryland, has
good reason to be as mad as was the
Dublin fishwOman when Daniel O'Connell
called her hypothenues. The Baltimore
Gazette accuses him of assisting at the
gemmiparous, ilsslparous and very equivo-
cal generation of 100 factions of the
Democratic party" We don't know what
this means, but it must be something
dreadful.
Smyrna times., 1881-08-31
Judge TOurgee on The Christian
Citizen"

The ampitheatre at Chautauouo was
filled with an eager throng several davs
ago which had gathered to listen to an
address by Judge Tourgee ON "Tbc Chris
tlan Citizen" For an hour he talked in
an entertaining way of the responsibilities
and privileges of the Christian citizen.
lhe term citizen he said, signifies coor-
dlnate element in sclf-governing COM
munity, and he defined Christian as y
term including every man who believes in
the teachings of Jesus of Nazareth. or is
mbued with his teachings, or. if not
knows that he ought to be. In the course
OF his address he said in substance ..
Christianity is not like the dreamy
religions of the drowsy East. It is posi-
tive, active aggressive faith. 1t has no
passive voice The Christian is sent ont
into the world as bomb i burlod
from morar-to hit somebody and to
hurt somebody and if he doesn't do il if
ISM the fault of the powder behind him.
Christianity is the mother of the Republi-
can idea. \ popular notion prevails that
.he nearer man would keep to God. the
further ne must keep away from politics.
ms Is criminally fallacious notion
What is political government 1t is the
big human end Of religion. The RESPONSE
Dlllty OF countrys future rests upon its
people. y nation is not good bv accident
But the chronic grumbler says that the
political life of to-day is 50 corrupt. 7
don't believe it. / believe in the puhlic
purity of to-day. believe that our moral
ethlcS, az Nation. is at its highest mark
Today. | have no sympathy with that
class OF people who keep eliminating our
political life, and whose ONLY mission
seems to praise God and find fault We
only see the bright side of the uas, A
few years ago crime could be forgotten
| before it reached the State line. To-day
e dved Of shame is read on three conti-
nents before the blood Of the assassin's :
knife is dried. If these charges are true.
whose fault is it? I say, cmphaticallv. the
fault Of those Christians who won't do
their political duty. Prayer and voting
once year aren't enough. We are not to
stand on the pinnacle of our own purity
and scold at evil; we must meet our own
personal duty, by nNt,sns our shoulder TO
the wheel OF government Oh. these cow
ardiy Christians who wrap themselves in
the mantle of their own righteousness. and
VIII not enter the great battle. A Chris
tlan' citizen, ought not TO allow anv
political question in which he Is interested
to be decided without active work OH his
par, Every man must do his duty before
he grumbles at the perversness of politics
and this means that he must give all the
time he reasonably can to the solution OF
all State problems"