The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1881-02-25

WHEN whisky gets the better of aman
he may be sure the devil is foreclosing
his mortgage. Bend Herald.
A YOUNG lady sends us in poem ON
decorations Of the pottery. We can't
publish it, because il is too verse o'tile.
-KokomO Tribune.
SOLOMON, remarks the Boston Globe,
''had seven hundred wives" That's the
way the wisest man of his time Utah
lied women. OsWego Palladium.
A FELLOW who married a poor girl said
he married her to take care of her, but
now when he stayed out late at night she
took hair of m.-Syracuse Standard.
The person who would pick upon q
banjo is entirely capable of pounding a
piano, squeezing life out of an ACCORDION,
or beating drum. -Neto Orleans Plea
yune.
THERE is dog graveyard in Virginia
City, Nevada A thousand-acre cemetery
of this kind, kept well filled, should be
the ambition of every city.-Louisville
Courier Journal
THE time has arrived when an invita-
ton to q wedding is equivalent to lend
ing the groom ten dollars and feeling
thankful that he didn't ask for more
Detroit Free Press.
INDIANA has q law to prevent weak
minded people marrying. A crusty
bachelor insinuates that the weak
minded are the only persons who ever
think Of marrying Boston Transcript.
THE inventor of the goddess of liberty
was benefactor of humanity He ena-
bled ladies to display themselves in
tableaux, in very scant raiment, without
being guilty of impropriety.- Boston
Post
In making ''pure ground coffee" the
rule in Boston and New York is to mix
one hushel of beans and one of roasted
peanuts with one bushel of cheap coffee
The package is then labeled: "None
better-beware Of limitations. "-Detroit
Free Press.
A PEDANTIc contemporary, in noticing
the advent of new paper, says it "has
future before it. - The editor of the
new journal would have been more star
tied, perhaps, if he had been informed
that his paper had future behind it
NorristO,On Herald.
1t is said "the town of Lansing,
Tompkins County, New York, has
growing girl OF seventeen who now
touches seven feet, and Is still evolving
upwards" That is nothing; we know
boy in Boston, only twelve years old,
who touches 100 feet. He is boot
black. -BOstOn Post
We sincerely hope that in the art de-
partment of the projected Worlds Fair
in New York, the artists of the liver-pad
renaissance will be properly represented.
They have done too much for art in
America to be ignored, as the pictorial
advertisements of the daily press attest
-BostOn Transcript.
Andre,US' american Queen believes
in the good old doctrine if a man smite
you on one cheek smite him rs hard as
you can on the other. 1t says: "The ST.
Louis Globe Democrat charges the
Queen with robbing it of an original
paragraph. 1t lies like a tombstone
We never did any such thing, and that
paper never had any such paragraph.
DIR. JEFFRIEs says the children should
be instructed In colors and their names,
And not children alone, but great grown
men are going about utterly Ignorant in
this matter, men who couldn't for the
lives of them tell dying frog from ele-
plant, or London smoke from ashes of
roses, and who have no proper concep-
ton of Bismarck, Solferino, Magenta or
cardinal. Oh, it is lamentable boston
Transcript.
A sx-FooTER and his friend, who had
been rolling ten-pins yesterday, were
walking down the street, when one called
the other into an alley and was in the act
of settin' up the drinks from pint bot
tie just as three policemen appeared.
The six-footer knocked two of the police
men down, and then said to his friend,
Lets go jim; they are all down but
one-you can set 'em up i'll the next al
ley. "-Kokon,o Tribune.