The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1881-04-08
How They Put the Cow in the Yard

There is nothing that demands states
manship of high order as much as the
driving of a cow with a young calf 10
any particular place. Two Galveston
colored men undertook job of this
character, and, although they gave the
matter their careful attention, the result
was very far from satisfactory to any
body except the COW, which seemed to
enjoy it very much. Sam and Bill were
TO get dollar to take the COW and calf
and put them in the yard of the owner,
Mr.. Thomas Carlyle, who lives at the
south end of Galveston avenue. After
trying in vain to get the cow to under
stand In what direction they preferred
she should go, Sam and Bill called a
cabinet meeting, ut which the following
campaign plan was agreed upon Sam
was to take up the calf in his arms and
go ahead, while Bill was to hold the COW
back by the rope which was fastened to
her horns.
"Ef she goes too FAST" said Bill,
"Pll jest hold her back"
"And eff she don't foller fast enough
I'll jest twist de calls tail, and den she
will come right along" said Sam.
Sam took up the calf and went ahead,
while Bill, in order to get a real good
hold, tied the rope around his wrist.
The procession proceeded slowly in the
desired direction, and would have
reached its destination in safety had
not Satan tempted Bill to get off joke
on Sam, so he called out:
"Sam, jess twist de CATS tail.
Sam did SO, and the calf bleated as If
it was opposed to an encore to the per.
Torrance.
The old COW began to trot. So did
Sam, holding ON to the calf as If he had
stolen it. Then the fun began, fol
every once in while the cow would
polish her horns on the ceilings of Sam s
pants. Bill could not get his hands out
of the rope, and, as he had short legs,
he had hard work keeping up with the
procession, or rather in not letting go.
He ran so fast that the kinks of his wool
Strengthened out. Finally he gasped:
"Sam, ontwist dat CATS tail"
Sans legs moved so rapidly that they
looked like the spokes Of q buggy, but
he called back:
"Foah Gods sake niggah, don't
let go dat rope de cows againin' Oh
me.
"Drop de caf, SAM" cried poor Bill,
whose arm was coming out of its socket.
"Drap de caf, for L can't keep up wild
de COW. Go slow, niggah, or I'll tuln
de COW loose on you," which, how,
ever, was more than he was able to do.
Bill made the next fifty yards on his
back, he still most unwillingly retaining
his hold on the rope. Fortunately, the
COW overlook Sam, and, in return for his
kindness i'll picking up the calf, she
picked him up on her horns and threw
him over into Mr.. Carlyle's yard. Bill,
who was rather tired of chasing the COW,
thought he would climb over and SEE
what Sam was doing. The cow appeared
to understand his wishes in that direc.
ton, so she started on run to help him
out, or rather over. She was q little
late, but he went about ten feet further
into the field than he would have done
without her assistance. There was
neither of them SO badly hurt as they
were when old Carlyle came and told
them that the contract was that they
should put the COW in the yard. Instead
of that the COW had put them in the
yard, so the dollar belonged to himself
as the owner of the COW.
1t is thought lawsuit will grow out
of the matter. NesOS.