The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1881-03-12

q
pect of book agent walked swiftly up
Magazine street, until he came opposite q
house where a red-headed woman with a
long nose and her sleeves rolled up was
washing the windows,
ais this boarding house, rnadam 2" he
asked gently, as be leaned bis elbows on
the fence, and looked oyer In the yard.
Yes, sir" replied the woman.
"Can obtain desirable board hero at a
reasonable rateH" . sd
Eyes, sir, there is no better house in the
city,"
"Can / see the landladyP q.
al am the lsndlady, sir" I.hs f.a
"Ah, indeed. have often heard of the
beauty and industry of the womeh Of New
Orleans, but now have an occular demon
stration Of the fact"
I" Do you wish to secure board hcre2" in.
quired the woman, blushing and looking
pleased.
Well, reckon l do. Have you any old
maids in the house who wear gimlet curs
and have pet parrots that talk all night and
worry the life out of people2 Are there
any babies here who are always having the
collie and bowling enough to make a man a
maniac2 Madamj | am very particular
where / bosrl, as the last place stopped at
my room was situated between that Of
young woman who had pair Of twin babies
and musician who played on the flute and
walked with crutch, and when the babies
became quiet on the one side, the Internal
cuss on the other would either be humping
over tho floor or playing on the flute, until
at last l could stand it no longer. Are any
of these boarding-house pests stopping with
you ?" ..s, /,
"No, sir, none but quiet single men board
here" af y..s
"Ah, that is surely fine recommenda-
ton, but do you Sc. fine tablet"
/" Yes, of course do" replied the woman,
getting angry, what else do you want to
know2" 4-,.
"What prompted me to ask you the ques.
ton was the fact that every boarding house
falls into the error of giving its boarders
tough liver for breakfast, which is something
l detest. When a man gets up in the morn
ing he doesn't feel like trying to eat spring
mattrassj consequently, make it point
to hunt up a house where the boarders are
not so cursed. A man can stand goldfish
balls very well, but human nature, madam,
is far from being equal to tough liver three
times day. Ifyou rccollect, said before,
am very particular where board. Are
you q married woman, madam"
Yes, am, and I'm tired Of answering
your questions. If you don't want board
here, just go away" and the excited land
lady slushcd the soapsuds over the window
panes, and made her brush fly like ginsaw
The man still leaned on the fence and gazed
at her steadily. ~.
Madam, see you have a temper" he
remarked, when she turned around to see
fhe had gone "and temper, when il is
not controlled, often creates good deal of
misery and no end of divorce suits. I've no
doubt that, when rritated by household
duties and cares, that you often give your
husband sound rebukIng, and If he is a
prematurely bald-headed man, it is your
own fault; yet you are not to blame for
that which nature endowed you with But
this trouble can be obviated. have here,
madam, and he dived into a square-shapcd
box, ga valuable work entitled Home
Made Happy; or, The Domestic Guide
This excellent volume l will sell you for
the sum of one dollar and fifty cents. AS l
previously remarked, you cannot be blamed
for your temper. Every red-headed woman
with long nose and brown wart under
her left eye, has sour temper but ii you
will only follow the suggestions laid down
in this book, your home will be Paradise,
and
"If you don't leave here. you impudent
puppy, will shout for the police. / want
you To-"
"Bear in mind, madam, that no matter
how ugly you are, good disposition makes
a woman angelic, and---"
"Aint YOU going to leave, you despicable
villain, you bandy-legged-"
"Although you are shaped like lop sided
triangle, and have freckles on your face as
large as ginger snap--"
The next instant shrek was heard, and
the book agent was stretched nat on the
pavement with a bucket Of soapsuds on top
of him and small yallar dog yelping and
swapping at his heels.