Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1881-10-15

Is
to render the animal incapable of lowering its
head beyond certain point, according to the
length of the rein. Not content with this. still
more severe instrument was invented. and is
known by the name of the gag" or Bedouin
ng-reign.-The Reu j. G.. Wood, in Good
Words.
Snipe on Toast.
From the Burlington Hawkeye
had some snipe on toast in Harrisburg. 1
saw on bill-of-fare:
''Snpe on toast, sixty cents"
Snipe on toast would be almost too healthy
food to feed people who had been floating on
raft three weeks, feeding on boOt-legs. Says l
to the waiter:
'Give me some snipe on toast
By and by he came in and put down some
toast, and l kept on reading. 1 sat there an
tered. and says l:
where the deuce is my meat?''
Says he: They've been on the table an
hour
Says 1: 81 didn't order plain toast; want a
snipe on it,
Says he "There is snipe on it."
Then drew close up to the table and saw a
black speck on the toast, and l says: you'll
swear that's snipe?"
Says he: Yes
Says I: 'You would make good linen buyer
you would"
Says he ''It's snipe on toast. anyhow"
Says l: "How did it get on it?'
Says he: THAT snpe's all right; it's full
sized one, too
Says I: 81 am glad that you told me that's
full-sIZed snipe; for. do you know, young man.
when sat out there reading l saw black
speck on that toast, but l took it for hy and
I'm glad to be informed it's snipe. Now you
can take that snipe away and bring me tur-
key on toast; and want a full-sized turkey,
too"
l amt laundering after snipe since that cpl
sode. | could have blown that snipe through a
putty blower without hurting the snipe or
putty-blower either. Snpe on toast may be
game, but it's mean game.
''English Spoken Here"
From Paris Letter by Nasty in Toledo Blade.
Tibbitts tried TO worry one of these Partisan
statesmen. and for once succeeded. He stopped
the party prOmenading with him on the B0ue-
ward DIES itaens at a jewelers., who displayed
in his window the legend. English spoken ;"
The English spoken in the shops is good
enough, as a rule, to explain the nature and
quality of the goods. and that is all Further
the English-speaking salesman has no more idea
of English than he has of Ashantee. Tibbitts
marched in boldly, and the English-speakng
man appeared. He was well-preserved. bald
headed man of So and at him Tibbitts went
''DO you speak English!"
"Oui-yees monsieur"
Tibbtts grasped his hand enthusiastically.
Its refreshing to meet one in a strange land
WHO can speak one s own language"
'leeS, monsieur"
"Well, what want to know is. is the Chicago
and Northwestern railroad cutting rates the
same as the other roads, and do they cut for
western-bOund passengers the same as for east
ern, and do you have the remOtest idea that the
cutting viii be kept up till September when
| return, and does the Pullman sleeping-car COM
pany cut the same as the railroad companies
"Eh. monsieur? Geese watches"
You don't quite understand me. You see
the Pullman sleeping-car company is quite dis
tinct from the railroad companies and one NAV
cut rates without the other. See? Now, what
want to know is"
The bewildered Frenchman, who spoke En-
glish, stared in wild sort of a way, but his po-
likeness did not desert him.
- Ees eet re watch, re diamond, Ze-"
Not yet. What | want to know is, who is
this Lapham and Miller who have been elected
to I'LL the vacancies OccasiOned by the resigna-
ton OF Platt and COnkling, and is Miller going
to be tail to Laphams kite, or are they both
square, bang-up men. and"
"Will monsieur look at re goods?"
in this row."
By this time the Frenchman was out of pa
"Monsieur talks-wat you call 'im-gibber-
ish l ave not re time to waste. Eef it ees re
"Sir," replies Tibbits severely. "when YOU
announce English spoken you should speak
CiASuou, VI aI least UNDERSTAND IT, GOOQ-mOrn-
ing, or, as you don't understand the plainest
English, bOng-swOir."
He had succeeded this time, and should have
rested on his laurels. But Tibbittses, alas, al
ways overdO what they undertake. He had ex-
tracted SO much amusement from his first ex-
pertinent that he tried it over again the next
day. He entered a similar place and COM
menced the same thing
"What want to know is, is the Chicago and
Northwestern in the railroad war, and do you
suppose the cutting of rates will continue till
September, when return, and"
"Indeed, cannot tell you, sir. 1t is some
thing do not keep the run Of You had better
apply at the American exchange or the Herald
Office"
This in the best and clearest American Eng
lish. Poor Hbbitts had fallen upon bright
American, who was turning his knowledge of
French ogood account by serving as salesman
in Paris. Mr.. Tibbitts smiled ghastly smile as
he bowed himself out Of the place. Bad marks
men, who by chance hit bull's-eye, should be
very modest and refuse to shoot again. Even
Napolean, great as he was, fought one battle
too many.
|