The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1881-08-02
Sepse and eno,lse'age.

1t Is orphan very poor.
Never call man empty headed. say
he reminds you of dilapidated contri-
Gution box
"John, is there much difference be-
tween sea and saw" "Yes; the
difference between see and saw is in
tense"
A rivers month is larger than its
head, the sea has arms but no hands,
and a mountain has foot but no legs.
Queer, isn't it2
The Japanese Mikado is to have o
new palace at Feddo, which is be
built entirely Of wood, and will cost
nearly $5,600,OOO.
Only one man in ninety-two is mean
enough to put long blonde hair on the
shoulder of man whose wife is q
brunette.
81 thought you took an interest IN
my welfare" said an unsuccessful lover
mo, sir" she replied, "only in your
farewell"
An aged English lady in one of oul
street cars paid her fare and handed the
conductor tract "Much Obliged" ht
said, "but we are forbidden to take any.
thing over and above the price of the
seat"
do you intend going to summer
resort this summerP" inquired Mis-.
Fitzjoy of her practical friend "Oh
yes, indeed. If there is any place where
summer resorts this year We are going
surely"
General Moltke has of late year.
been able to obtain but little sleep ow
ing to extreme nervousness; his entir.
amount OF sleep does not amount tc
over three hours every night. Hi
health is much enfeebled.
A correspondent of the Troy Times
says that Beecher has no more talen
for business than boy ten years old
Business blunders have cost him $50,
600 in the last ten years, aud he is nov
more foolish than ever.
Mr. William P. Scott. brother of ths
late Colonel I. A. Scott, is a hard work
ing farmer at Clinton, Iowa. His broth
er's will gives him a comfortable littl
fortune, and be will not be obliged tt
toll so perslstently hereafter.
David Wingate, of Dochester, N. Fl
now nlnety-two yeats old, is regarded
as the. last Survivor Of the Dartmoo
massacre. The statement that the lat
Robert Hardie was the only claimant o
that distinction was erroneous.
IL say, old fel, you haven't got
lquarter about you that you don't know
what to do with, have your" There
one." "Thanks-but, hello. l say
you know it's bad I" "You asked nj
for one didn't know what to do with 7
An eagle with brass chain aroun(
its neck, suspending little tin box in
closing slip of paper on which wa
written in Danish. Caught and Sc
free again in 1892 by N and G. Ander
son, Boetod, in Falster, Denmark" was
shot on April l5 at Nakkoo, in the Is
land OF Lapland.
In Des Moines the other day an un-
ruly steer scared housewife nearly into
fits by jumping through kitchen win
dow, kicking over a stove, breaking
down table, upsetting pan of milk
and then rushing into the dining room
and shattering mirror before it plungec
ont door into the streat
She was four-year old blonde, gen.
orally quiet and tractable, but mamms
had provoked her. 81 don't love yot
any more, mammal" "Very well, dear,
you needn't" swell, don't love you.
"All right, dearie, mamma will try te
get along" "Well, do love you; bu
l don't feel just like 1t now"
"Why is honesty the best policy p
asked Prof. Stearns, when the clas.
in moral science had the floor. "Be
cause it is so seldom used," the new
boy at the foot of the class replied, 81
never gets out of repair" That WASH ;,
exactly the answer IN the book, but th,
boy got marked 5x on 1t, all the same.
There is a beautiful tradition that tn,
first foot which pressed the snow-cla(
rock OF Plymouth. Mass was that o
May Chiffon, fair young maiden, ant
the last survivor of those heroic pioneer
was May Allerton, who lived to see th,
planting Of twelve out of the thrice,
colonies which form the nucleus of th,
United States
A member OF the Carleton Club o
London was so uDcivil to the club ser:
wants that they appealed to the Govern
ing Committee The member was cen
sured, and not expelled. Our gentleman
who took his part sail that no membc
OF the Carleton Club should be expelled
unless he cheated at cards or was fol
lower of Mr.. Gladstone.
] "You must not play with that it'll
girl, my dear" said an iniudicious par
ent "But, ma, like her; am sur
she dresses as pretty as l do, and sh
has lots OF toys" IL cannot help that
my DEAR" replied the foolish mother
cher father ia shoemake." "But
don't play with her father, | play will
her; she amt a shoemaker"
The hoop skirt is coming in fashion
again, and ten years hence the man wht
digs garden will feel the need of som
new and wicked looking words will
which to express himself when he strike
one of these profanity-provoking out
cast about four inches under ground
Nothing demoralizes gardener more
unless it may be when his spade strike
piece of old rag carpet.
Does man ever GO into grocer,
store and say, "I'll give you Eve cent
for pound OF sugar" and expect to b
treated with respect Not at all H
asks the price of sugar and pays what i
asked or goes without. But the sam
man will offer price twenty per cent
below rates for given space in the ad
vertising columns of newspaper, an
feel offended because it is not taken
"Bull Run" Russell, who has bee
, travelling through the country with th
) Duke of Soulherland's party, was.aske
i the other day what impression he ha
formed of America and replied yer
q frankly: "Where you can't raise whe'
E you raise gold. and where you can
raise gold you raise lead, and whe
: you can't raise lead you raise silve
!. It's something everywhere--a country