The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1881-03-25
HERE AM THERE

HERE AND THERE.
Experts are beautifully by the ears |
'ver the Whitaker case. /
Senator Mahone's voice is described as
icing vocal blizzard
The Bartlett-B urdett-Couts match
seems to be morganatic marriage on the
-everse plan.
Mr.. Blaine is an advocate of orGho-
graphical reform to the extent of capital
izing the American hog.
The Utica Observer characterizes the
new Ruler Of Russia as Alexander III,
by the grace of dynamite, car of all the
Russias''
De Luc reports that the bee trees are
budding, but he is not sure whether the
crop will be humble bees or yellow tailed
hornets.
Bismarck says he will hold Office till
the day of his death. The German pre-
mier must certainly be the lineal de-
scendant of an Ohio'man
l(IliiO~LAlo nave IO "
growl. They have the vote of one In
dependent senator, and the Republicans
have the vote of the other. 1t is a fair
division
The Missouri legislature is graphing |
with bill for the suppression Of lotter-
les. 1t would be Interesting to know |
whether il contemplates any restrictions |
upon mairimony.
Rents have gone up to such a degree |
in Chicago, that number of the benev-
client ladies of that city have donated |
their halfworn shoes to poor families !
for tenement houses.
The undertakers of the Buckeye state
succeeded in effectually excluding news
paper reporters from the sessions of their
recent convention at Mansfield, Ohio. |
The proceedings Were strictly ION the
dead" so to speak.
Joubert, the head of the TransvaaI
Beers, is a man about fifty five years old.
He is of medium height, Is dark and
wears rather Il long beard. He rides
we'll, is an active man, and is the brain
of the whole Boer community.
1t is announced by Washington cor
respondents that Mrs Garfield will
give some nice little entertainments as
soon as she succeeds in breaking in her
new help, and gets the right "scald" on
baking in the kitchen-stoye oven.
There is just one meaner man in this
country than Bill English He lives in
Columbus, Georgia, and was recently
arrested for stealing the Grape from a
door knob while the inmates of the
house were preparing for a funeral.
1t seems that the slick puppies who
fiirt with and make disparaging remarks
about innocent but silly girls, will have
to go. The Washington Post says that
the coming dog of society is the honest,
true and good-natured Scotch collie.
Lawrence proposes to offer $4,000 in
premiums at her fair next fall. 1t would
prove philanthropic scheme to pledge
at least one-half of that amount to the
man who would place himself under
bonds to run decent hotel in the town
during the progress Of the blowout.
In certain sections of the West the
ministers charge dollar extra for kiss
ing the bride, when they perform the
marriage ceremony. But this is not so
exOrbitanI, when we consider the cheer
full persistency with which many of them
continue To perform that arduous duty,
upon the slightest provocation.
The Arkansas legislature adjourned
its Iabors on the 18th. The session was
characterized chiefly by its extreme
clemency in the treatment of tile dog
question, and it's progressive departure
in the interests of euphuny by standing
sponsor for the state at its re-christening
under the musical patronymic of Arkan-
saw.
There is pleasant confidence record
ed in Washington that just one hundred
years ago our first Secretary of War was
appointed, and that that Secretary, like
the present one bore the name of "Lin-
coln.' General Benjaman Lincoln's
portrait hangs upon the walls of the De
partment, and Robert Lincoln's is to be
placed beside 1t.
New York Herald: When man who
has lived in country village all his
life, selling collars, nails, hinges, peanuts
oilcloth, candies and hams, is suddenly
elected TO congress, he goes to Washing
ton, and, seeking out a reporter, gives
| IL 80 I,
thinks that the capital is the most beau
tiful city in the world.
The present fireman of the white
house entered upon his public career
under the administration of President
: Fillmore. II there be any measure OF
human skill that can successfully bid
defiance to the vagarIes of civil service
reform and the mutations of party poll
tics, it is, without question, a thorough
mastery of refractory stove pipes and de.
PRAYED f1ues.
The Democratic journals accus Sec
rotary Hunt of being Mormon. 1t is
marvellous that some Bourbon editor has
not manifested sufficient eye to effects
to paint Jim Blaine IN the highly dra-
matte role of Nihilist THIS would not
require a very severe exercise of fancy
on the part of any one who ever saw the
Secretary throw bomb among the Dem
ocratic members of the senate.
President Garfield, at his reception the
other day, gave the most vigorous hand
shaking to an elderly, plainly dressed,
motherly.looking woman, wearing gray
wooden shawl and an old-time bonnet. in.
nocent of feather CT flower. She said
but few words, and was evidently &
stranger; but perhaps the honest face
and almost homespun attire spoke to his
heart, for his face beamed with the kind
est of smiles, and she received the heart
lest greeting of any one.
Senator Conkling, according TO the
Washington correspondent of the Cincin.
natl, shook hands heartily with Senator
Malone at the close of the dramatic
scene in the senate on Monday, and said
81 believe l have not the pleasure of
your acquaintance, but I am anxious to
know you better. | am proud of you,
SIR, and TO congratulate you. You are
impregnable. am proud to see you
stand for the honor and independence
on this floor, of your state against such
unparalleled insolence.'
OYER THE STATE.
Greenwood caunty man is sorrow.
full because ten cent yellow dog. re-
Gently killei a fifty dollar sheep.
The editor of the Howard Republican
has the mumps. The fun will open up
when they begin to carom on Abe Stein