The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1881-06-05
WAIPs.

L
It's agricultural department the Illinois
farmers have thrashed their turnips at
least week earlier than formerly
| Coag1er.Joutnal.
Mrs. Harriet Beecher Stowe thinks it
Is very inartistc TO knit mems foot gear
straight. Doesn't it depend, Harriet,
on whose socks it is that is goredp--
american Queen.
Sara Bernbardt says she cant SEQ
how the men resist tumbling head and
ears in love with the handsome Ameri-
can girls" We tumble.
The Nihilists are willing to establish
a constitutional monarchy in Russia;
but the Romanoffs hold the cards, and
will be glass bombed to glory first
Ne,o Hacen Register.
Several brothers recently got into a
| quarrel over pie and the little one felt
less kindly toward the biggest, who took
his part, than he did toward any Of the
Others. - Boston Post.
'The matrimonial fever has broken
out" says the Green Bay Advocate.
The tie-fuss, probably. - Andrews
Queen. Take care it ism the chills and
fever.-N Y. Commercial Advertiser.
They want to call the American side
Of Niagara Falls Cataract City, although
we think Catarrhyille would be more
euphonious.
The report that the Car has ordered
$4,000 barrels of whisky from Louisville
is of the deepest significance. 1t indi-
Gates, beyond doubt, that he is taking
measures to compromise with the Nihi-
lists -LOWeN C0,03er-JoUynal.
make minute of that duel, Mr..
Shearer," said the chief to the news
editor. Cant do it," replied the SUBJ
altern. "Why, not?" Cause there's
only two seconds in it, Verdict of
accidental death, caused by increase of
salary
An Italian priest proposes that in
parliamentary oratory singing be sub
stituted for speaking, and if man
can't sing he must only gesticulate. II
this plan were adopted by travelling
opera troupes there would be more ges-
ttculating than singing on the stage.
The Breakfast Table dishes up this
food for thought: "When the funny
man Of a London daily writes good
joke the editorial staff is called up,
oysters are served, and the paper don't
appear that day. And it is o note
worthy fart no London daily has missed
publication day for ten years back"
The indianapolis Herald calls atten-
ton to the fact that the very day Dali
zell, an Ohio man, refused an office, the
great earthquake at Scio occurred. The
fact is not so surprising as the Herald
supposes. The earthquake was simply
an effort of nature to make another
opening somewhere for Mr.. Dalzell.
"You wouldn't believe it," remarked
Differs, who had just returned from
Yurrup," "but | tell you it is fact.
There are plenty Of little shavers in
Paris, not more than or years old,
who can speak FrenchP" And Differs
wondered why we manifested so little
surprise at his remark
Buffalo Bill is not so great an actor
as Salvini; but when he dashes upon
the stage, kills seven Indians, puts
thirteen to flight, removes quantity Of
scalps lined with red flannel, and res
cues the lovely maiden who is chained
to the stake, the audience appears to be
perfectly satisfied with him.
The manager of a theater, being
deeply impressed by the reports of re-
cent fires at places of amusement, sets
actively to work TO make all possible
arrangements for emptying his theater
in the event of an accident "He ought
TO try and do something to fill it," re-
marks cynical rival.
ats mighty strange, so it is" re-
marked Muloahy, "that the tinants nv
Ireland is the wuns to make all the
trouble. Ye wud expect now that it
wud be the landlords" Flows that,
at ALP Phwat are ye givin' usP" said
O'Flannerty. why, dye moind now
it's the landlords that's the proper
rioters"