Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1881-02-25

Why Mr. and Mrs. Watkins Did Not 10
the Opera.

There had been two or three days
of damp weather, and Mrs. Watkins
had complained to her worthy spouse
that "the doors in the house stuck
exasperatiugly whenever she tried
to open them,' and requested that a
professional in the use of the saw and
plane be called in at once to remedy
the evil.
"The honse is new," Watkins said,
land these little things must be ex-
pected. In few days the doors will
work all right again, and a carpenters
bill be saved Practice a little
patience, my DEAR" he added; "you
know you arc very quick tempered,
and if anything does not work just
as YOU wish it at the first attempt,
YOU become prefectly unreasonable"
Mrs. Watkins cast at her lord one
withering glance of scorn. but said
never word.-There was a peculiar set
to her lips which seemed to say:
Wait, oh, man, until You try one OF
those doors, and then we'll see where
the patience comes IN.
They were to 90 to the opera next
evening, and Watkins sat reading his
paper in the sitting room, while bis
wife was arraying herself in all ber
best tinerv in the bed chamber up
stairs. Watkins, man like, was 'all
ready, with the exception of putting
on his hat and gloves"
At last Mrs. Watkins was ready, and
proceeded toward the door to go down
stairs.-She took hold of the knob,
turned it and pulled; but the door
stuck tight at the top and would only
open little way at the botten, to
spring back shut when she ceased
to pull at it. Then she thought of
her husbands advice, shave. little
PATIENCE" so she pulled at it gently.
but the door only kept up its old
trick of opening an inch or two at the
bottom to spring back when she eased
mp.
"Now, amt this too mean" she
exclaimed, and then, happening to
glance at the clock whose hands
pointed to 80, she took hold of the
knob fiercely and gave it a sudden,
very strong pull. Rip! went her new
'old gold" kid glove down the bach ;
but the door still stuck. There were
tears in her eyes and murder in her
heart as she took hold Of the knob
with both hands and braced herself
for business. She pulled with all her
might, and the door gave little, and
then sprung back with such force
that it brought her on tip-toes. This
was repeated several times.-With
each attempt the good lady became
redder in the face, and put more vim
into her pulls. Finally, as she threw
her whole strength into the effort, the
door suddenly swung open with her,
with so much force that she fell back
over a chair and stood on her head in
her new duck of bonnet, which she
had intended should have been the
cvnosure of all female eyes on that
eventful evening.
Watkins was startled in the midst
Of an article on the reorganization of
the party by crash overhead and a
series of shrieks that proclaimed either
a burglar, a fire, ora mouse. Rush
ing upstairs, three steps at time, and
in through the open door, he was met
by the sight Of a pair Of colored stock
ings wildly waving through the air.
From beneath this most appalling
vision came the shrieks. For mom-
ent Watkins stood spellbound; but
only for moment. 1t became ap-
parent to him that an important
member of his house hold was in need
of Immediate reversal as to her under
standing. Without ado her fastened
to the rescue, and soon Mrs. Watkins
was seated in the chair which had
played such an important part in her
discontinue. Between her sobs she
at last related the catastrophe which
had happened. At the end of few
sentences of sympathy Watkins, foolish
mar, could not resist the opportunity
to sry: ''My dear, this only goes to
demonstrate the truth Of what | told
you only yesterday about these very
doors Had you but shown little
patience this would not have hap
pened," "Oh! YOU brute!" she cried,