Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1881-02-18
EnWls-EEotclns.


;,to vintc; quarters, bat You don't hear
orythiug OF ihcm excep; the batter, aud
Nj making short stops on the break
fast taDie.
on paving from three aud hall to
fre dollars day ana presenting Il cor-
tiiicate of good moral character, a man
oor seclre Il comfortable room at a New
York hotel.
little Philadelphia boy who came
in the house With both eyes in mourn
inc and his nose hlooGy, explained to
his startled mother That be had been RI
tending a pound party.
\ New Hampshire p u owns . boot
;ack that has been slung At cats over
Zoo times and is good .boojack yet.
Bootitck5 can sand "A heap ,f wear and
tear, It seems. -- Boston Post.
There ace apparently just two mon in
this republic WAC arc not intensely eX-
cited over Tie formation Of Glriiold's
cabiuet. "Wc" arc nAe, ard General
Garfield appers to he The other.
Sare B.rnharlt says " she thinks
death is beautiful" VLeu 80 suppose
She doesn't rour at The aAittr and smash
tbe cr.czer when SIZE li9da q drowned
fly floating IN the soup.
There IS an engine ou tine uousa tonic
railroad named " VIM. Ill. BtrLuM.'
Tho OH peculiar thing about this loco,
motive - that it, exhaust IS bigger than
its firc-boz, So th&! i wastes more steam
than IT makes.
When All AmsterGarn man changes
his shirt III tie middle Of the week, All
OF his EuighhOr5 come ii and look at
him, aIi the report goes around that
his uncle died last week and left him
nine thUugani six hundred dollars.
Civil service reform? Oh, yes. Civil
service reform. Well, il is-why, You
know what it i3--weli, We haven't time
to explain it just now, but the motto on
the seal of the reform Office reads,
"Put mono but OHIO men on guard
That is about it,
1t is said by the temperance people
that tho whisky sold in Denver is
nothing but Holly water scented with
vitrol. When so gallons can be drawn
from one barrel, it is time for hydrant
to blush and a dajryman to veil his face.
Il Denver Republican.
A great many people are beginning to
say, 1.-THE country has done enough for
General Grant" Less than twenty
years ago these same people were say
ing that General Grant had done
enough for his country - but they
wanted him to keep on and DO more, al
the same.
A fund of SSl3J, GOO has been raised
for the Harvard divinity school, and it
is now thought this will be amply suili-
cient to provide all destitute thoologues
with pistols and sword canes, so that it
will no longer DO necessary for the
students to trade off their Hebrew lexi-
cons for these " helps
The deceived Indians say "all men ut
Washington are liars" Well, perhaps
they are right. The inspired singer of
Israel said the same thing about us cen
turtles before the Indians did. David
admits that he said it in haste" and
perhaps that explains why, in his hurry,
he omitted the important qualifying
phrase of specific location.
Everybody is willing to give Garfield
a fair trial but Robert Toombs. This is
pity. 1t destroys and breaks up all
the unanimity Of the thing. But Mr.
Toonbs is inexorabie. During the
late war. Mr.. ToumbS was remarkable
for for for We have really forgot
ton just what Mr.. Toombs was ever re-
markable for. Something, though, we
reckon.
A weary man, all the way from Gin
cinnati, came into tho Office the other
night to tell us how he loved music and
how he used to enjoy going to "h;o-
hear Thommodore Themas orchestra
corsets." And when lie said it, Daniel
Webster's big unabridged dictionary fell
right off the table and lay shuddering
in the gloomy shadows Of the waste
basket, feeling that its days of useful
ness WAS at aa end.
General Hampton didn't mean that
when he said it, after all. Being very
obscure. humble, private individual,
little being known Of his movcmcnts,and
his place of residence being entirely
unknown outside of limited circle of
intimate friends, he was afraid Secre-
tary Sherman would not know where
to address him when lie wished to write.
That was all. And he never heard how
wickedly his language had been mis-
construed until four or five days ago.
The mails are so irregular in South
Carolina, and then the paper that Gen.
Hampton takes had holiday Thanks.
giving day and didn't get ont any paper
that week. First he heard Of it, II man
going through Danger county with a
drove Of sheep told him about it.
by and by, when those Oklahoma i'm
migrants lose their marauding hair, and
the usual vail of "In6ian atrocities
comes up from the border, let the gov
eminent calmly say, 81 told you so,
and keep out of the fight. If these
white men trespass on the domain Of
the Indians in Indian territory, lot it
be them and the Indians for it. We are
not very enthusiastic friend of the
Indians, but wo believe in fair play,
and We are no friend of the Oklahoma
tramps. In the general matter of the
Invasion Of Indian reservations we are
pretty much ike the woman who
watched the fight between her husband
and tla haar e,yirc " Siip 60 didn't porp n