The Portland daily press., 1881-01-18
The Fantastic Suwarrow.


Suwarrow affected great simplicity of life
and coarseness of manners. A heap of fresh
hay with sheet spread over it formed his bed
alike, on the march, in the fortress, at home.
He could not sleep without abundance of fresh
air; and if the windows would not open he
would break every pane of glass in them, and
even order the frames to be taken out, saying
that he did not fear cold. Before throwing
himself down to rest, he seldom took off his
boots, spurs, or military accoutrements: some
times when he wanted either to refresh his
exhausted energies or pamper his tired flesh,
he might tempt the drowsy god by christening
one spur. Lest he should slumber too long he
always carried a dunghill-cock with which he
always shared his bedroom, and whose shrill
clarion sounding at his ear always summoned
the warrior in good time to the duties of the
day. 81 hate ldleness," said he: land that
bird" pointing to the cock, sis very punctual
in waking me-" So highly did he appreciate
the services of the bird that, in emulation of
its virtues, he would go to the door of his
tent and, instead of ordering the drum to
beat, or the bugle to sound, initiate its cries
as a signal that the camp was to awake. His
own imitation of the Growing of the cock was
the bugle-call for the march.
He drilled his troops in his Shlrt-Sleeves; and
often rode in front of the army on bare
backed horse, with no other clothing than
shirt. Summer and winter alike he rose at
in the morning and took a bath, or rather had
bucketfuls of cold water thrown over him by
his servants. Thereafter he breakfasted; din
ner was served at s; and breakfast and dinner
alike consisted of the coarse black bread of the
common soldiers, which in his case was washed
down by deep draughts of brandy. During
these repasts an officer stood by, and, at his
discretion, informed Suwarrow that he had
eaten and drunk enough, and that the serv-
ants would now remove the bread and bottles,
by whose orders dare you interfere with me,
sir?" Suwsrrow would exclaim. "By the Or
ders of Marshal Suwarrow." off so, he must
be obeyed." He had issued general instruc-
tions to his subordinates to command him, in
his own name, to desist from doing anything
likely to injure his health. He owned neither
villa, nor plate, nor carriage, nor books, nor
liveried servants, nor pictures, nor rare col
lections of any kind; and, when he came to
St. Pet arsburg, slept in the cart which all his
days, on the march and in triumphal entries
was his favorite vehicle. For twenty years at
q stretch he never used looking-glass for the
purposes of the toilet nor did he ever en-
oumber his person with watch or money. In
his day personal cleanliness, even among the
ladies of the Russian nobility, was not held in
much account; and Suwarrow was often seen
to take off his shirt and bid his soldiers hold it
10 the ure, auQlnS tnat IL was tuo Debt IuotuOu
he knew for killing certain unclean parasites
In conversation, his tone, especially to his
equals, was abrupt and imperious; whom he
met, and was introduced to, he received with
Q cannonade of questions, the one following
the other in rapid succession. AS q test of
military fitness, presence of mind self-reliance,
and force of charac .er, it was by no means an
unsatisfactory one. All those whom he con-
fused or embarrassed he despised as FOOLS
What would stranger think when saluted by
q grim, snuffy old man, made up exteriOrly of
dirt and jewels, with the demand uttered in
imperious tones. "How many stars are there
in the skies? You don't know: what do you
know? How many trees are there in the for
est, or fishes in the lake?" And on yonr con-
Tossing ignorance in conciliatory manner,
how would you like to have a scorntnl and
filthy finger pointed at you, ard be baptized
amid grinning company with the name of
Monsieur Know-nothing? Nothing dashed
Suwarrow into such fury as the use of that
handy conversational phrase II don't know"
His Officers, well aware of this infirmity,
would hazard any reply rather than ackDowl-
edge ignorance on any subject on which it was
his whim to examine them. In his old age he
would often be seen running and frolicking
in the streets of st. Petersburg, bawling at
the top OF his voice, 81 am Suwarrow, / am
Suwarrow," followed by crowd of urchns,
among whom he threw apples to be scrambled
and fought for. AT court he persisted in kiss
ing the portrait of the Empress Catherine,
which every LADY wore on her breast, TO the
dismay of the wearers, who shuddered when
the snuffy nose, innocent of bandkerchefs.
came near their rich silks and white bosons.
Her Majesty herself had one day to ask him to
conduct himself more sanely and decently.
In the palace his antics were of the most
whimsical description his facial nerves were
never at rest, and his jerky attitudinizings,
his spasmodic movements, his meaningless
grinnings and giggliDgs, snarlings, and pteous
meanings, his obscene remarks, weak puns
and small jibes, led those who knew him not
TO be Suwarrow to conclude that this menac-
ing and bejewelled object was GATHERINGS
court fool, and their establishment may be
easily conceived on being told that they be-
held a hero who had fought countless battles
and never lost one of them; and who at the
council table had proved himself sagacious
and clear-headed reasoner; crafty politician,
and a brilliant epigrammatist. In his ripper
years he was able to speak little French and
German, which he had probably picked up
in his wars and wanderings. His friends
aver that he was an adept in the dead Language
es, and that in his temporary seclusions he
studied Hebrew. Several of his sayings have
passed into Russian proverbs especially the
sarcasm he uttered on the Emperor Paul's
military innovations, which were all of the
decorative order: "Hair-powder is not gum
powder; curls are not cannon; and tails are
not bayonets;" bit of doggerel which cost
the rhymer his command.