Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1881-11-12
CHOICE CHrT-CHAT
ON Moral and Miscellaneous
Matters.

Cujiet j1r saturday, Resi,;r..
Guard your thoughts very carefuI
ly' is good motto, but very few people
have possessions enough of that kline
TO hire an extra Waterman.
Some peoples bad habits resemble The
periodical headache of the FrenchmaI
who declared hat it came on regularly
once Il month and lasted about slN
weeks.
Some one-the saying is severa
centuries Old. but Just as good as new
has told us that prayer is the proper
KEY with which 20 open the day, anC
that he sleeps securely who locks the
night with 1t.
This is Tor the private ear OF clergy
men. Lamont said: Nothing car
Justify long sermon. Ii it be goOt
one 1t need not be long, and ii it he
bad one it ought not TO be long.
Parker, on being asked which OF the
many creeiS it was easiest to believe
replied, The one that has salary
affixed 20 il large enough to enable 8
man 10 keep \ coach and six horses
No man Tan 70 20 heaven on another
mans goodness Every ticket OF adj
mission into paradise is marked "Not
transferable" or, in the language OF the
colored thinker, NO gentleman admit
tel unless ne comes hlsself.
Even philosophers find it difficult to
express decided opinion. When
Socrates was asked whether it Is better
for man 10 marry or remain single Inc
REPLIED, Let him take Thica course he
will he will sooner or later repent OF It.
A preacher not lar from Boston found
himself at one time IN a sad dilemma,
He stopped in his sermon and said, eli
| speak softly those OF YOU who are in
the rear caarOt hear me; II | speak loud
| shall certainly wake up those who are
close to me.
One ought to think very tanderly o.
those who have departed this life. A
kind-hearted widow who lost her hus
band in the winter tiIae was sitting be-
fore the open CRATE thinking OF the past
Poor Jack :" she said to- herself, Il
hope he's where they have good tire.
The Jury system, like piece OF bro
caie, has its right side, where the coIor>
all blend beautifully, and its wrong side
where the threads hang loose. a Welsh
Jury. after celebrating about Il horse
theft, brought in verdict OF "GuIIty
with some little doubt as 10 whethertht
prisoner is the right man.
Temper in u sword makes 1t bend and
gives it its value, but temper in man
makes the house so hot that no one can
live in it. But when sword is wei
tempered and a man is good tempered
well. You can see the resemblance ion
Yourself. They are both what they
ought to be, that is all.
Shakespeare tells us that "Nirtue is
bold and goodness never fearful, and
vet we heard not long since OF colorec
man, and the deacon OF church. too
who cyept after DARK round the henroo3t
rs though he was actually AFRAID Oi
meeting the owner. Either the man OF
the motto was in the wrong.
We are all more or less like Kitty
Give. a comic actress, who said OF DR.
Ashley's preaching, that sue was always
vastly good Tor two or three days after
hearing one OF his sermons. but that by
the time Thursday came round the ei
tect wore Off and she was her Old sell
again.
\ man oil tact always manages to get
out OF a difficulty. Tie clerk OF a parish
whose business was to read the first
lesson" came across the Chapteriu David
in which the names Shadrach, Neshach
and AbeduegO occur twelve times, and
finding it extremely difficult to pro
nounce these names he went through the
chapter ceterring to them as the "lore
said gentlemen.
A great many incorrect statements ge'
into the newspapers, but il the advice
Of the Irishmau was followed the dill
hrultv would he at once relieved. Wher
mis- death had been announced he wrote
a hurried note to the editor to assure
his friends that be was still alive, anu
added that no newspaper man ought 10
publish death until ne was informed
OF the TACT by the deceased.
Ii is said that mans voice reveals
his character. When, for instance, YOU
ask him for contribution for the
church, and he tells you that he has Just
bought a last horse and hasn't penny
70 spare, you know By his voice that he
is one of the benevolent citizens OF a
great republic ami that he won't see
himself suffer TOR anything which either
money OF credit can purchase.
George Canning knew how 10 tell the
truth in such way that it felt like {
thorn in the flesh. Alter sermon by {
pompous clergyman the preacher said
wei. Canning, you have said nothins
atont NV sermon Canning replied
"Ah, the sermon was short Thanks,
replied the preacher, and it 10 better
10 be short than tedious But 1t was
that too" said Canning.
An inference is something so peculiar
that oftentimes the mos; artistic natures
cannot draw il. When Cynic said OF
physician that his patients never had
him but once, the doctor took It AS i
compliment, but tn more knowing ones