Osage Valley banner. (Tuscumbia, Miller County, Mo.) 1879-1881, 1881-06-02

TO smile at the same time, "Pve been
up stairs.
II Thought you were at the restau-
rant" said size. I" DO you know what
timott isqn
NO" said I, "but rm awful hum
gry-torgot al about The restaurant
What's all this rumpus abouthere, any
wayPr
dfhis is surprise pai4y-a few
friends have como 20 celebrate your
birthday; and now you 20 right up
! stairs and get the feathers out OF your
hair end brush up a.liItle aad come
down. aud we viii have supper.
didn't know what had become of YOU.
Thought maybe you had gone OF on a
spree"
Nc on spree! Mel member Of the
Moderation Society. No. indeedl
SO ! went upstairs, slicked up n 1T
1 tie and then came back and professed
/ TO be very much surprised, although,
4 in reality, | thought il oonfounded
/ hore.
Nevertheless, after | had supper
/ felt better. Then all lmy friends loaded
me with presents; and Mrs. NJ. made
me a present of a horse and carriage, a
/ new parlor suite, new carpet and n
/ silk dress. The silk dress was not for
/ me 10 wear; hut. of course, could ac-
cept il rs present as a token of her
wiicly esteem and then, rs it would be
of no use 10 me, | could let her have IL.
There was also present of gold
necklace, pair OF diamond earrings,
a hand-orgau and gold watch and
chain.
AS already had gold watch and
she had none and aS II was n ladies'
watch ] could, of course, let Mrs. M.
have tit would be all in the family,
you see.
After all, thought, surprise parties
are not SO bad, considering all the pres
ents ono gets.
IN few minutes Mrs. NJ came
around aud wanted twenty dollars TO
pay the musicians.
ado have to pay for the musicP' I
asked
"Why, You dear old doothy," said
she, "of course you do. II is always
courtesy Tor the host 10 pay for the
music at surprise parties.
80. of COURSE" said l, "of courses"
and so lpad for the music.
The next morning, on any arrival at
my Office, I found bills for ice cream,
confectionery, cakes, sardines, salad,
coffee, sugar, sandwiches, beer. floating
islands, gin, jams, cigars, jellies aud all
the etcetera-n that went to make up the
supper had enjoyed so much the night
before. began to be surprised in re-
ality.
Following this came the bills for the
carpets, furniture, horse and carriage,
diamonds. jewelry. dresses, hoop-skirts,
kid boots and all the other presents Mrs.
NJ. and my friends had 80 kindly be.
slowed upon me.
Thon | Ods surprised-I was mild. !
gathered all the bills together toward
the close of the day, and started for
home.
"What does all this meanPn 1 asked
Mrs. NJ, as | spread out the bills be-
fore her.
"Why. you dear old doothy," said
she, "people always pay the bills when
they have surprise parties
"Well, | am astonishedn'
"Of course you are--I knew You
would be- That what surprise par
ties are for-to surprise folks, you
know
when the bills come in"
"Why certainly; that's what makes
them so charming
lis that SOP Then suppose | must
pay all these bills"
OF course you must, you dear old
doothy."
80, I'm an old doothy, am I9"
"IO be sure you are ~
"Well, I'm blamed II don't begin
~ Il
paid the bills, and then surprised
Mrs M. made her present of a
revolver aud kindly requested her, il
ever the insane idea Of giving me sur
prise party again entered her head, to
shoot me first, aud all of my relatives
afterwards
Yours hihouSly EPnRAIM MuGGINs.
--fHck.