The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1881-01-28
SIfttnGS.
Az IMAGINATIVE WOMAN.


AN IMAGINATIVE WOMAN.
"O'R1ferty," said the Galveston re-
corder. "yOur wife Swears that you struck
her with great violence
ovid great victims when there ISM a
fiddle, big nor little, in the house! She eX-
aggeraleS too much entoirly. II was only
a fllt-irOn.'
OUTRAGE BY 4 POLICEMAN.
sam johnson was mp again yesterday.
"What brings YOU here this time! ~
asked the recorder.
DE pliceman, sab; de same what brung
me heah last time"
81 mean what did YOU do
81 was less pa>siu' gr0cery->tore, when
struck my head agin ham what was
hanging by de dcre. | tuck de ham down
10 mt II somewhere. whar it would be safe
from folks Dustin dar brains out agin IT,,
when de fust bnowcd pliceman tried to
get de hlm away from me. and bekaSe
wouldn't let de ham 20 he just hung me
along too
AFTER THE BATTLE.
"The baby has got n new tooth. but the
old LADY is laid M with a cold in her head.
md Johnny j. down with The measles" re-
=
cIndidlle.
WHAT in the thunder do care " was
the rcply OF the defeated candidate, scON l.
Ing furi0uNly.
well" said the gentleman, slowly, " be-
fore the election you used TO take me aside
every time YOU met me, aud ask me how my
family was coming on. 50 l thought you
would like 10 know. As | was saying,
Z; uf vi 10 ta.
and The baby
go TO Halifax" roared the eXaSpe-
rated eX.candida,e, producing a police
whistle, all Of which goes to show that the
defeated candidate Is quite as indepcnden
rs tie one who is elected.
F0ILED BOOK agent.
4 Young man with large book under hi'
arm and a seyen.by-Bine smile on his mug
stuck bis head into the ticket.windOw at tie
Union depot. and asked the clerk what tie
fare was to san Antonio.
.'Ten dollars and fifteen cents" replied
the ticket-slinger.
IL am pining 10 leave Galveston, hut
lack Just $40 OF the ticket money. How
ever. that shan't part us. III make par
tial cash paymeat OF fifteen cents and taxi
the rest out In trade"
"What do you mean by taking Il ont il
trader"
81 am book agent, and il you will le
me have the ticket Won't try to sell you
book. won't say book to YOU once Thi
is the most liberal and advantageous ole
ever made to The public, and you ought L
take advantage OF il. have been know
10 talk IL sane man so completely oct Of hi
senses in fifteen minutes that he WASH
even tit 10 send to the Legislature after
ward"
"what book have you got!" asked tn
ticket-agent-
A beaming smile came over the book
agents face, aud in a siag-song voice b
| began:
II am ofeiing in seventeen volumes DR.
| Wblflietree's Obseryations-a book tina
Ahould be in every family-a book that com
prises the views OF the intelligent Doctor
with numerous speculstions and theories OF
what he did not see, altogether forming
complete library Of deep research, pur
the ology, and ehaste Imagery. | am nov
Offering this inyaluible encyclopaedia TO
the unprecedented low price OF s2 vol
ume, which is really giving IL away To-
nOthiOg--"
| Alec the book-agent had kept this up 10
about ten minutes be begsu TO grow dis
eouraged, for, instead OF showing signs o
weakening, the ticket-agent. with an ecstati'
smile on his face, begged The eloquent maj
10 keep on.
The book.agent stopped 20 rest his jaw
when the ticket-man reached out bis han(
aud said "Sbake, ole tel! Come inside
aud take a chair and sing that all oyer again
That cheers me up like cocktail. j usef
TO be book,agent myself before reformed
and went into the railroad business, and
that " like music 70 me. 1t soolhes INC OF