The Hickman courier. [volume] (Hickman, Ky.) 1859-current, 1881-03-11
HUMORs OF THE DiY.

The soft corn is hard enough to bear.
Domestic dispatch-Johnny with tbs
hot buckwheat.
THE greatest mashers usually turn out
the smallest potatoes.
"YoU will love only me, George, dar-
ling ?" Sometimes" he says.
When New York young man pops
the question he says: :" Let's consoh-
date
The New York Ne,os declares that sit
was farseeing chap who invented the
telescope"
The ''Ironclad Oath is when fellow
reclines on the zenith end of a tack with
his bare foot
IN New England they are making rum
from old shoes. One drink of it starts
the flow of sole.
If we were girl, We would select
lover from among tailors-for they all
know how to press a suit.
The lazy boy fears that if he once be-
gins to earn his own living he will be al
ways expected to do it,
The original poem read by Biorn-
sterne Bjournson. Just before he begins
his lecture is Tujggwasson. That's
Olof it.
GUIBoLLARD, most candid of Philoso-
pliers, remarks ''Would that / had ten
thousand year ''To do what?' ITO
do nothing"
a MANS residence, in law, is where he
has his washing done We pity Detroit
men, Poor devils, to have no homes
Boston Post. -
SHORT courtiniF: Rachel, the Lord
hath sent me to marry thee, said the
suitor- The Lords viii be done, was
the submissive reply.
POLICEMAN then, move onl
There's nothing the matter here.
Sarcastic Boy-''Of course there isn't
| If there was you wouldn't be here"
A LONDON wife cannot blow up her
husband without the people in the next
| house rushing out to inform the authori-
| ties that they have discovered Fenian
4 plot
\ The Baltimore Custom-house officials
claim that they can tell smuggler in
sx different ways After he mas been
tod in one way, what good do the other
five do?
HIS text was. "What doest thou here.
Elijah ?" He divided it into two heads.
First, my brethren" said he, 'let us
consider what Elijah did hear; and,
secondly, what he didn't hear"
NOTWITHSTANDING the fact land per
haps in consequence of it, that the clergy
and justices of the peace are so busy all
the time making two people one, the
population continues to increase.
They catch rats with baited fshhooks
in New York We suppose it is an art
ist-hook-rat-ic amusement (Last lot of
this kind, and going off like smoke at
dollar dozen. Orders by mail promptly
attended to. )-BurlingtOn Hatokeye.
AT a restaulant-G Gentleman to waiter
passing VIII you kindly tell me the
hour ?" Excuse me, j am not waiting
upon you please ask the waiter of your
section, he replies, and seeing the same,
says: "Tel this gentleman, John,
what time it is. -
A GENTLEMAN was complaining on
Change that he had invested rather
large sum of money in Wall street and
lost it all. A sympathizing friend asked
him whether he had been a "bull" or
''bear, to which he replied: Neither;
1 was jackass. - Chicago Tribune.
"UNHAPPILY married? ] should think
[ VAST cried the burlesque actress.
why, he doesn't beat me, doesn't come
home drunk, doesn't squander my earn
ings | haven't the slightest excuse for
getting a divorce, and I'm afraid shall
never make a name in the world"
''Say, boy say" exclaimed a hot
looking man with valise, "what is the
quickest way to get to the cars - Z" Run, ''
yelled the boy and the hot-looking man
was so pleased with the information that
if he could have got near enough to the
boy he would have given him something.
A YoUNGsTER steps up to a gentleman
in the park 'Sir. won't you please go
after my beat, which is going to fall into
the stream?" "But do you wish me to
throw myself into the water, child?"
+" oh, yes, mamma said, ask that
gentleman; he looks fool enough to do
it.
THERE are good many things in this
world to make man mad The young
man who kindly stopped to assist blind
man afterwards found that the girl who
was looking at him from the window of
the house was the housemaid, and not
the daughter and heiress of the proprie-
! tor.