Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1881-09-22
BORROWING.


band one morning, "the meal which we Dor,
rowed from Mr.. Black few days ago, is al
most out, and we must bake tomorrow"
"Well," said her husband, ''send and bor-
row half bushel at Mr.. Whites; he sent
to the mill yesterday"
"And when it comes, shall we return the
peck we borrowed more than a month ago,
from the widow Grey?"
"No," said the husband, gruffy, "she can
send for it when she wants it. John, DO
you 90 over to Mr.. Browns and ask him to
lend me his axe to chop some wood this
forenoon. Ours is dull, and I saw him grind
his last night And James, 60 to Mr.. Clark s
and ask him to lend me hammer; and 90
you hear? You may as we'll borrow a few
nails while you are about it.
A little boy enters and says, "father sent
me to ask if you had done with his hoe,
which you borrowed week ago last Wed
nesday. He wants to use it."
"Wants his hoe, child ?" What can he
want with it! 1 have not done with it yet
but if he wants it, suppose he must have it.
Tell him to send it back, though, as soon as
he can spare it," ,
They sat down to breakfast. "Oh mercy!'
exclaimed Mrs Green, "there is not par
ticle of butter in the house. james, run
oyer to Mrs. Notable she always has excel.
lent butter in her dairy, and ask her to lend
me plateful."
After a few minutes James returns and
says: "Mrs. Notable says she has sent you the
butter, but begs you to remember that she
has already lent you nineteen platesful, which
are scored on the dairy door,"
Nineteen platesful 7" exclaimed the as
tonisked Mrs. Green, holding up both hands.
ut is no such thing-I never had half the
quantity and if had, what little plate
full [ should never think of keeping an
account of such trihing affair. | declare,
have great mind never to borrow any
thing of that mean creature again as long as
/ live"
A JUDICIAL AND JUDIcIous HINT.-Gen.
D. was more distinguished for gallantry
in the field than the care he lavished upon
personal cleanliness. Complaining on GER
tain occasion to Chief Justice B of the
suffering he endured from rheumatism, that
learned and humorous Judge undertook to
prescribe remedy.
"You must desire your servant" he said to
the General, "to place every morning, at your
bedside, tub, three parts filled with warn
water. You will then get into the tub, and
having provided yourself with a pound OF
yellow soap, you must rub your whole body
with it, immersing yourself occasionally in
the water, and at the end of a quarter of an
hour the process concludes by wiping your
self dry with towels and scrubbing your per-
son with flesh brush"
"Why," said the General after few min
utes reflection upon what he just heard,
"this seems to me to be neither more nor less
than washing yourself."
"Well," rejoined the Judge, cit is open to
that objection"
new sects in New England began to break
the good old congregational barriers, and
make incursions into the sheepfold of the
clergy, reverend divine, whom 1 we'll
knew-a man at once of infinite eccentricity,
good sense, and good humor-encountered
one of those irregular practitioners at the house
of one of his flock. They had pretty hot
discussion on their points of difference, and
at length the interloper, finding more than
his match at polemics, wound up by saying
"Well, doctor, you'll at least allow that it
was commanded to preach the gospel to every
critter."
"True," rejoined the doctor, "true enough:
But then never did hear it was commanded
for every 'critter' to preach the gospel
- |,., NVl,o, olJ Pornc' uifo
fell ill, he sent for doctor as sordld and av-
aricious as himself. Before the doctor saw
the patient, he wished to have an understand
ing with the miserly husband.
Here's forty dollars" said Bogus, "and
you shall have it whether you cure my wife
or kill ker."
The woman died, and the doctor called for
the fee.
"Did you kill my wife ?" asked Bogus.
"Certainly mott" replied the doctor.
"Well, you didn't cure herr"
"You know she's dead"
"Very we'll, then, leave the house in double
quick time," said Bogus. "a bargains
bargain. 1t was kill or cure. and you did
neither"
ag~ A grand jury ignored a bill against a
negro for stealing chickens. Before discharg:.
ing him, the Judge bade him stand up and
be reprimanded, and he concluded as follows !:
You may 60 now, John, but (shaking his
finger at him. let me warn you never to ap-
pear here again
John, with delight beaming from his big
white eyes, and with broad grin displaying
row Of beautiful ivory, replied
81 wouldn't bin here dis time, Judge, only