davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1881-12-12

bullet proof corsets, liver and lung pads, pc
rous.plasters, etc. You take corset and tie 1t
around sack of flour and try to fire bullet
through it, and you will find that the bullet
will fall to the ground. Try 10 fire ball
through bed quilt, and you will discover
that the ball becomes wound and twisted In
the cotton battings from the rifiing of the bar
rel of the pistol, and stops before 1t goes
through. A liver pad is as good as boiler iron
to protect the form, 50 you see there is no
piace 10 shoot female burglar, except In the
head and legs. No gentleman would want to
shoot beautiful woman In the face, and with
a long dress on he might as we'll shut his eyes
and shoot at q hop yard, and expect to hit
pole, as TO expect 10 hit leg. So it shows
plainly that female burglar would be perfect
ly safe from pistol shot. Then again, the
natural gallantry of a man would prevent his
making much OF fuss II he found female
burglar in the house. II the average man,
aud most men are average men, should wake
up in the night and see woman burglar feel
ing in his pants and rifiing the pockets, or
rumaging in the drawer of the bureau, he
would lie still and not wake up his wife. Were
1t male burglar, he would jump up, regard
less Of his nocturnal costume, and tell him to
get out OF there, but he would hesitate TO get
up before female burglar and ask her TO
make herself scarce on the ground that she
was too plenty He would not feel like ac-
costing the female burglar without an intro
duction. II he spoke to her familiarly, she
would be justified In being indignant, and
saying, "Sir, l do not remember that we have
ever met BEFORE" and very likely she would
turn her back upon him, and say she was in
suited. 1t places man Of gallantry in very
embarrassing situation TO have female bur-
glar rob his house, because he would
be no gentleman IL he did not offer
to see her safe home No true gentleman
would like to see a female burglar go bone
alone at three or four O'Clock in the morning,
and while he might feel the loss of his proper
ty, it would be courtesy for hm to offer TO see
her home and help her carry her swag. Take
IL all around, il the women become burglars
there is going to be more or less annoyance.
The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1881-12-12
The Female Burglar.
Packs Sum

Every day we see some new avenue has
been opened to women by which they may OBJ
tain a livelihood; and all of us who love women,
and most men do, are glad of it, though We
NAV be opposed to female suffrage But there
is such thing as carrying 1t too far, and al
lowing women to engage In branches OF busi-
ness for which they are not fitted. We see by
the papers that woman has been arrested III
Cleveland as burglar. We have no objec-
tons to female pick pockets. for If man
must have his pocket picked 1t will be much
more enjoyable to feel the delicate hand OF
beautiful woman fiuttering about his pocket
than rough male hand. Many a man who
would object to having his pocket picked by
man, would be willing to lose ten or fifteen
dollars Just to have a female pickpocket go
through him. There is a field open for women
as confidence men. To have a female conf
dence game played on man would leave less
of sting than to be bilked by mule. AS
forgers, women have been highly successful
and men have been proud of the proficiency OF
the dear creatures in signing the wrong names.
But as burglars, the idea is revolving. 10
think of women going about nights with
jimmy and O dark lantern, opening doors or
windows and sneaking about rooms is degrad-
ing and revolving. III a male burglar gets into
your house and he is discovered, you can
shoot him, if you get the drop on him, or kick
him down stairs; but who wants to shoot fe-
male burglar, or kick her over the bsnnisters?
1t would be unnatural. You would almost
rather let her go ahead and burgle, and go
away with your roll Of money than shoot her.
Besides, you could not hit her with ballet
from an ordinary pistol In vital part. The
heart and other vital organs are covered with
The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1881-12-12
Marching Through Georgia"
General sherman's Opinion OF the Femil-
lar Tune

Unknown Liar Of the New Orleans Emes.l
General Sherman wept the other day after
hearing Marching through Georgia" played
at banquet. His neighbor, General Grant,
asked him. Wherefore dost thou weep?" The
General answered, "I never was so all fred
sorry that I marched through Georgia as
have been in the last five years. Georgia be
darned. The people are good enough, but I'm
listening to that tune for the g. 465, ,857th time.
How would you like, Ulysses he continued,
''to hear that internal melody over three mil
lion times? They have socked it to me from
Maine to Texas, and from Florida to Toronto"
and here he wept afresh. But General Grant
quietly petted the little hero on the shoulder,
and said, "Sherry, it is only one of the penal
ties OF greatness. suffer worse than you do
I've had seven million cigars given to me be-
cause people think l like to smoke, S24 bull
pups, and more horses than / can count. Sher-
ry," continued the General. whenever l see
horse, cigar. bull pup, feel just as badly
as you do, but never give way to my feelings.
II sell 'em." eyes" answered Sherman be-
tween his sobs, ''you can sell cigars, bull pups
and horses, but 1 can't sell that id tune for
five cents"
The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1881-12-12
brooklyn Eagle.1
A Sad Case.

"This is one of our saddest cases" said the
keeper of the Bloomingdale Asylum, pointing
to thin and miserable looking creature
crouching up in one corner of a padded CELL
He is quiet enough at present, but he has spells
that are terrible to witness; in fact, he is one
Of our dangerous patients.
'fIndeed;" said the visitor, ''perhars you
would not mind giving nie history of his
case. He comes apparently from the better
walks of life."
eyes, at one time he was well known in So
ciety," said the keeper; "he stood high as an
authority on the stage. He was dramatic
critic, and one of the best"
"You interest me- said the visitor; ''and
how did he come to this sad plight?'
"Hs very power was his ruin," said the
keeper. "He was known to have influence
with all the managers, and numbered his
friends by the hundreds. They crowded round
him, and COL tlnually pestered him for tickets.
He could never escape them Even before he
was up in the morning half dozen chronic
deadheads would be pulling at his door bell.
Two-thirds of his mail matter consisted OF re-
quests for "a couple of seats for tonight or to-
morrow night or any night They were after
him from morning until night. Tickets, tick
ets tickets rang in his ears from every side.
Even at church he would find requests for
tickets stuck between the leaves of his very
prayer book. If he entered restaurant he
was not allowed to more than half finish his
meal before two or three notes requesting tick
cts reached him from neighboring tables. He
became afraid to stir abroad. He could scarce
ly take dozen steps in any direction without
meeting ravenous would-be deadhead. His
situation became unbearable. Tickets, tickets,
tickets, tickets thundered in his brain from.
daylight to midnight The more he gave away
the more pressing became his tormentors, un-
til at last they drove him mad. Stark mad,
sir. An incurable, and no mistake. When he
is in one of his fits he beats the air wildly with
his arms, and cries, Take 'em off Take 'em
Off imagining his cell full of deadheads. A
very sad case, sir; very sad case" concluded
the keeper, as they moved on to the next cell.
The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1881-12-12

THE testim ony touching the recent disas
ter in Minneapolis shows that the agency
which led to the destruction of the four
Touring mills was precisely the same as that
which occasoned the loss of the great
"Washburn Milr' four years ago-name-
ly, mill dust. The researches made
at that time showed that the infammable
and almost impalpable dust of flour, bran,
and middlings win explode like gunpowder,
whether in the form of a gas or not, when
it is brought in contact with heat. Since
that time great care has been used by the
millers in keeping their mills clean and as
free from this dust as is possible, and the
result is shown in the destruction of three
of the mills without explosion, while the
fourth mill, the Minneapolis, which had been
closed sometime for repairs, and in which
the dust had largely accumulated, was de-
stroyed by explosion. The lesson of the
disaster would seem to be the exercise Of
constant vigilance to keep the mills as clean
as possible, aud the adoption of every pre-
caution against the introduction of fire in
any form.
The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1881-12-12

A QUESTION which agitates the mind of
the average New Yorker at the present time
is the additional Strengthening of the Brook
lyn bridge. 1t looks now as if it would be
sufficiently firm to allow the transpor alton
of freight cars. and that the trade of Brook
lyn will be thus greatly augmented at the
expense Of. the metropolis. So long as trade
can be forced into the muddy, overcrowded
island, all New York can sleep soundly, but
crowded marts, her jealousy knows no
bOunds
The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1881-12-12

1t is said that local newspaper man dropped
into dentists office some time agoin search of
information, and that when the interview was
over the jaw manipulation blandlv inquired,
won't you stop and have tooth out?" The
invitation was declined; but when the dentist
visited the journalist the other day the latter
called out as his visitor was nearing the door,
"Hold on minute, doctor, and we'll get you
up an obituary. ."-Springfeld Republican.
Affable Old Gentleman (who has half a min
ute to spare)-"I suppose now, my boy, you
take good sum Of money during the day."
Shoeblack-"Y cause lots O. gintlemen,
when they wants to ketch train, gives me
sixpencel" (Old Gent finds the sixpence, but
in thinking it over afterward couldn't see the
connection. Punch.
The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1881-12-12

The Toronto Globe says Arhur's first
message certainly does not err on the score
of lack Of coniprehensiyeness, for its au-
thor surveys mankind from China to Peru
with the most exemplary fairness. The Ca
madam editor is not pleased with the Presi-
dents position regarding the Panama canal,
and thinks the doctrine that the United
States ought to doninate such an important
highway as that will be, is perfectly inde-
The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1881-12-12

VoLo was evacuated by the Turks few
weeks ago. They left it on recent after
noon, and in the night the Ottoman Com
missioner departed with the troops for Con-
stantinople. In the morning the troops of
Greece marched into the town amid the
most enthusiastic demonstrations from the
people, who had been reinforced by thous-
ands from the surrounding villages. The
Turks had held possession for more than
400 years, and the longer they ruled the
more the Greeks hated them.
The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1881-12-12

THE Sioux have fashion of naming
children in the order in which they were
born. So the roll has many such names as
Winona, Hapan, Hepi, Wanoke, Heke, ETC.,
born, fourth-born, fifth born, and SO on.
The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1881-12-12

The proposed plan of submitting to the
voters of South Carolina some constitution
al amendments, has been defeated in the
Legislature, and nothing will be done until
a constitutional convention is called.
The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1881-12-12
THE PRESS.
MONDAY MORNING, DECEMBER IL.

We do not read anonymous letters and conmurt.
cations The name and address of the writer are in
all cases Indispensable not necessarily for pubca'
ton but as guaranty of good faith
We cannot undertake to return or pregcrve con- :
munications that are not used.
The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1881-12-12

IT is not a little strange to those having
some knowledge of the subject that the
Oldham cotton manufacturers should again
turn their eyes toward India for their sta
pie, partly in fear, and partly in jealousy of
American producers. That period of the
rebellion when the prostration of American
industry and the perils of the sea, outside
those of wind and wave, compelled reliance
upon this source, proved conclusively that
King Cotton's home was in Republic.
The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1881-12-12

THE greatest sale ever achieved by any
American poem was that of the 250,00
copies of DR.. Hollands ''Bitter Sweet"
Remarks on American literary taste are in
0rdar
The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1881-12-12

PORTRAITS of President Garfeld-good
ones too-w:ll soon be for sale at five cents.
They will be found on the new fiye-cent
postage stamps.
The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1881-12-12

CONGRESSMAN ATKINS of Tennessee says
the Malone victory has demoralized the
Democrats of his State, and he fears their
defeat at the next election.
The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1881-12-12

EVERY regular arrache OF the PRESS is furnished
with Card certificate signed by Stanley Pullen,
Editor, All railway, steamboat and hotel managers
will confer favor upon by demanding credentials
Of every person claiming to represent our journal.
The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1881-12-12

KELLOGG predicts gain of three Repub-
lican Congressman in Louisiana at the next
election.
The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1881-12-12
LYDIA Z. PlNKHAM'S
VEGETABLE COMPOUND.
Is a Positive Cure

Is q Positive Cure
for nII those Painful Complaints and Weaknesses
socommon to our bcst female population.
1t will entirely the worst form OF Female COM
plants all ovarian troubles Inflammation and Ulcera
ton, Falling and Dlspiacenents, and the consequent
Spinal Weakness and is particularly adapted to the
Change OF Life.
It will dissolve and ezpe tninors from the uterusin
an early stage of development The tendency to can
cerous humors there checked speedily by It's use
1t faintness fatuency, destroysal craving
for stulants and relieves weakness of the stomach
1t cures Bloatiug Headaches, Nervous Prostration,
General Debility, slecplessness Depression and lndi-
gestion.
That feeling OF bearing down, causing pain, weight
and backache always permanently cured by its use
1t Will at all times and under all circumstances act In
harmony with tho laws that govern the fenle system
For the Kidney Complaints of either sex this
Compound is unsurpassed
LYDIA Z. PINEHAaIs VEGETABLE COM
POUND is prepared at 23s and 2s5 Western Avenue,
Lynn Mass Price 81. Six bottlesfor e5 Sent by mail
in the form of pills. also the form of iozenges, on
receipt of price, 81 per box for either Mrs Pnkham
freely all letters of inquiry. Send for pamph
let Address as above Mention this Plpef.
No family should be without LYDIA E. PINKHAM's
LI-ER PILLS They constipation, biliousnsss
and torpidity of the liver. % cents per box.
A8- Sold by all Druggists. as
oc17 M.W .F&wly
The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1881-12-12
JERSEY MILK.

u...., made an addition to my herd Of Jerseys
I AM nrrnsr. TO furnish few more families with
Purs Jersey milk delivered every orn Spine pnt sa ea
rsssi1 ,or e11 ase address v H. sonle Wood
lords.
nov21 cod mar !
The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1881-12-12
MISCELLANEOUS
FOR CHRISTMAS PRESENTS! 5!
FOR LADIES AND MISSES.

which be found In
cE GrstcIa ssreIiaI aI,Ieg
The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1881-12-12
FOR CHILDREN.
FOR INFANTS.

mperect list Of our elegant
Parties VIII. nd he above list ma, nd % res a
of state visit store aud can
sent depeor place
cheerfuiiy shown
Floor used for
tail Department.
The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1881-12-12

Bonds of Suretyship.
STATE AGENCY
--- OF ----
The Guarantee
COMPANY
Of North America.
ESTABLISHED 1872.
Devoted Solely to the is
suing of Bonds of Se-
curityf0r persons in
positions OF Trust.

This Deposit is for GUARANTEE
ONLY, no other business
being transacted.
This sOmpany's business Is
solely that of issuing fsOnds of
Suretyship for officers and Ens-
pI0yeS iu positions of trust,
whereby the necessity for
PRIVATE SURETYSHlP IS ABOLISHED.
tits under the same experienced
manag ment Wh,eh f1Rst into
duced and has tor nearly 10
years successfully transacted the
business on this Continent
The Particular atseatiou of Waiiwa,
Co. pauies, tasks mud ether Corpora.
ts~n-. is a. reCtrd ta the act that tEii- II the
ONaF cons my exclusively devoted TO
esUs RANTEE BU~lNes-, and offers
the mort ample secu ity. both as TO fun
and expcs 1. need mana e ment. of any
Company frapsacting this business ON the
Continent of A Mef lea.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1881-09-03
Which NKhicis2

The Paducah Nelrs tells the fol-
lowing:
Two babies we're born in the
same house at oakland Tennessee.
4ae mothers were sisters, closely
resembling each other and the in
fants were both girls. Ia the ex-
element OF the occasion the little
ones got mixed, and this happen
ed before they had been dressed /,
or in any other way marked for
Identification. There seems to
DO 40 way oGt o. the uncertainty,
for three month nave passed with
out developing any resemblance
20 the father il ei.ler case; and if
the children grow up, 80 they
seem likely TO, with the physical
characteristics O. their mothers,
nobody will ever know their ex-
act parentage. The present agree
ment is TO decide the question by
lot.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1881-09-03
Senator BecA's Patriotic
Sentiments.

MILWAUKEE, August GA
dispatch to the Republican from
Bayfield,, Wis, gives an interview
with Senator Beck, Of Kentucky,
with reference to the course that
Democrats should take In case of
the death Of President Garfield.
Senator Beck said; cit would be
a time when love of country rise
above all party questions. AS TO
my own course, would be in ia
yor of some conservative Republi.
can, say Henry b. Anthony, Of
Rhode Island, for the position Of
President pro tenn, Of the Senate,
and thus avoid any inducement,
for any insane person or political
fanatic to desire the death of Mr..
Arthur. In such a con;ingecy this
would be a graceful recognition OF
the fact that, under the great
calamity which had befallen the
nation, the intensity Of party spir-
it aud the eagerness for the spells
we're for the time forgotten.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1881-09-03
A Card.

We take great pleasure in call
ing the attention of our friends
aud customers to DR.. Bosanko's
Cough and Lung Syrup which is
perfectly harmless, pleasant to the
taste, will not nauseate, and gives
relief almost instantly. 1t matters
not how severe your cough may
be, how many cough medicines
you have tried, or how many
physicians you have consulted. the
tonic, soothing and healing prop
critics Of this medicine will loosen
and assist the throat and lungs to
expel the offending matter, leav.
ing them in a healthy condition,
free from irritation, and the air
passages clear, besides invigorat-
ing and strengthipg the general
system. Price 50 cents. For the
positive cure of consumption,
coughs, colds, asthma, bronchitis,
dry hacking cough, loss of voice,
irritation of the throat, soreness of
chest, pains in the lungs, splitting
of blood, Group, influenza, whoop-
ing cough, and lung fever, we rec
ommend this medicine above all
others. For sale by G. w. Bow
MAN, Martinsburg. w. Va.
june25-1y,
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1881-09-03
state News.

The Standard Nail and Iron Com
pany, Clifton, Preston county, have
4rcaGn cEe&a1 e. Gn ~ 9it'~r 20
their works, and will proceed to put
in additional nail machines at once.
The stone masons Of Charleston,
&anawha county, held a meeting
last week aud perfected an organiza-
ton. They are now receiving S2.62
per day, and, it is said. they are pre-
Jared to insist upon So %.
The Wheeling pottery is daily re-
ceiving large orders for ware far
West especially the Northwest. The
Bellaire Goblet Company is running
one furnace, and will soon light up
all the others. The Benwood Mil
is all right again, and has resumed
operations in all its departments.
1t is stated by authority that there
IS no question Of DOUBT about the
money for construction Of the Pitts
burg Southern Railroad being raised
within thirty days in New York.
It's entire length will 90 about three
hundred miles and the estimated
average cost of construction about
$4,000 per mile.
The Belaire papers and people con-
tinue to be in a high state Of indig-
nation with the Wheeling City
Council on account of its apparent
lack of interest in protecting them
from the filth gathered up in that
city and deposited in the river at
point where it impregnates the wa
ter in daily use by the people of the
town. Wheeling papers admit that
he complaint is very serious one,
and say that the city authorities
should have taken steps more
promptly to relieve the nuisance.
Governor Jackson appears to be
thoroughly in earnest in his inten-
tions to bring to justice the lawless,
so-called Red men" of Barbour
county. He says that when the pri-
vacy of households is desecrated, the
officers Of the law sought to be init
Undated and grand and petit jurors
threatened with violence for the
faithful performance of their duties,
it is high time that the voice of the
executive should be heard, giving
The oppressed and threatened assur-
ance of protection of the laws. Some
fifty members Of the association have
been indicted.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1881-09-03
The Bound UKIoosed.

Chas. Thompson, Franklin ST.,
Buffalo, says. / have suffered
for long time with Constipation,
and tried almost every purgative
advertised, but only resulting in
temporary relief, and after "con-
siipation still more aggravated !"
I was told about your Spring Bios
som and tried 1t. | can now say
i am cured, and though some
months have elapsed still remain
so. l shall however always keep
some en- hand in case of old COM
plaiAt returning. Price. 80 cents,
trial bottles 10 cents. For sale by
L. G. Williams, Jr., & Bro, drug
gists.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1881-09-03
Health is Wealth!

DR.. e. C. VESTS Nerve and Brain
Treatment; A specific for Hysteria, Dir
ziness, Commissions, Nervous Headache,
Mental Depression, Loss of Memory,
Spermatorrhma, Impotency, Involuntary
Emissions, Premature Old Age, caused by
oyer-exertion, selfabuse, or over indul-
gence, which leads to misery, decay and
death. One box viii cure recent cases.
Each box contains one months treatment.
One dollar q box, or six boxes Cor five
dollars; sent By mail prepaid on receipt
of price. We guarantee six boxes to
cure any case. With each order received
by us for six boxes, accompanied with
FIVE dollars, we send the purchaser our
written guarantee to return the money if
the treatment does not eject cure. Guar
antees issued only when the treatment is
ordered direct from us. Address or call
on ]. A. G. HOVER, Druggist, Martins
burg, W. Va. Laug28 s0.ly.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1881-09-03

Is II possible

That remedy made Of such com
mon, simple plants as Hops, Bu.
chu, Mandrake, Dandelion, &C.,
make go noanv and such marvellous
and wonderful cures as Hop Bit
ters do? 1t must be, for when old
and young, rich and poor, Pastor
and Doctor, Lawyer aid Editor,
ell testify TO having been cured by
them, We must believe and doubt
no Longer. See other column
Post