Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1881-07-12
LADY PHYSICIANS.
WHY 1T WILL NEVER Do TO CALL THEM
FOR VERY Sick MAN.

A st. Louis doctor factory recently
turned out dozen female doctors. As
long as the female doctors were confined
70 one or two in the whole country, and
those were only experimental, we held
our peace, and did not complain; but
now that our colleges our engaged in
producing female doctors as bust ness,
we must protest, and in so doing will
give a few reasons why female doctors
will not prove paying branch of indus
Try.
In the first place if they doctor any
BODY it must be woman, and three
iourths of the women would rather have
male doctor. Suppose those colleges
turn out female doctors until there are as
many of them as there are male doctors,
what have they got to practice on A
man if there is nothing the matter with
him, might call in female doctor, but
If he was sick as horse, IF man
is sick he is as sick as a horse, the last
thing he would have around would be q
female doctor. And why: Because,
when man has a female fumbling
him he wants to feel well. He don't
want to be bilious and feycrish with his
ewes bloodshot. when the female Is look
ing him over and taking account OF
stock.
OF course these female doctors are all
Young and od-looking, and if one OF
them came into sick room where u man
was in bed, and he had the chills, and
was as cold as a wedge, and she should
sit up close to the side of the bed and
take hold of his hand, his pulse would
run up to hundred and fifty, and she
would prescribe for fever when he had
chilblains. Oh YOU can't fool us on ie-
male doctors. 4 man who has been
sick. and had male doctors, knows Just
how he would feel to have a female doc
tor come trip ping in, and throw her fur
lined cloak over chair, take Oft her hat
and gloves. and throw them on lounge,
and come up to the bed with a pair ct
marine blue ewes with a twinkle in the
corner. and look him in the wild change
able ewes, and ask him to run out his
tongue. Suppose he knew his tongue
was coated so It looked like a Turkish
towel, do YOU suppose ne would want to
run out over five or Sin inches OF the low
ar part OF it and let that female doctor
mt her finger on il TO see how furry II
was: Not much. He would put that
tongue up INTO bis cheek, and wouldn
LEI her see il for twenty-five cents admis-
sion. We nave all seen doctors put their
hands under the bcdcloihes and feel OF a
mans tee, 90 SEE if they were cold. TIA
female doctor should do tina, it would
give man c7amp in the legs. y male
doctor can put ms hand on mans stom-
acb and liver. and lungs, and ask him II he
feels any pain there, but ii a female doc
Tor should do the same thing i; would
make man sick, and he would want TO
get M and kick himself for employing a
a female doctor Oh, there Is no use
in talking. it would hi. a man.
No" pr 4,,.,ar I'D wan, n Es,cn
anu d - I '''.'', - HI. L,,T, She would
3o " CAV On his breast, 50 her ewes
ID! ~ - n,nn,b vorlj b. LOOKING
@'T -, Go. MI h., Wv bo;r
'S", '"'' ~ - ~ "a ,bc,: 80,
Mou'n O' s''' w -. 800 ..;,t. H., ~,
''ls '".,s - - - boar, Md 90, :, ebop,
-. I'm. beat, in a minute: You
49, And She would .mile-we will bet
,.r dollar. .he would smiIe-and show
4 II -. -, L.. ,,..,,,i l