The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1881-11-07
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II hns received letter from Boston,
remarked Brother Gardner, as he squintet
from Samuel Shin to Waydown Bebee. 6,
has received letter from Boston AKIN mi
for my Obseryashuns on de influence o
music on mankind. l reply dat mankind
widout music would be chawin' each ode
up in half a day, Music am de stone wal
dat surrounds marcy, peace, charity and
humanity. Only las week, war wriin
down my observations furde lbs forty seven
ya'rs, and 1 will glib dem to the public as
follows:
de SCUM Of a hoss-hddle brings up old
reekolections, IN starts de tear OF regret
II played long enough an de wind am in
de right direction it will cause de listener
to shell out subscription Of 5000 lords
new Guild Baptist Church. Try it once
and be convinced,
"De SCUM Of harp hits man below
de belt, He begins 70 fink OF all de mean
fings he ever did, an to wish he hadn't,
and at de eand Of fifteen minutes he am
all ready to step ODER an pay his naybur q
dollar apiece for dc chickens he shot in his
garden las spring
"De SCUM OF de fiddle grabs on to de
seben different hart strings to once, an u
man am knocked so flat dat he will esteem
it privilege to len you $40 =.
"De iewsharp goes right to de soul. II
your wife am all ready to elope oil wild de
hired man do notes OF do iewsharp will
take her bonnet oil in sixteen seconds, II
you keep hired man you should also
keep q iewsharp
"Pianer music sometimes hits an some
times misses. lie known it to make an old
baldhead go home an pass two hull hours
widout Cutlin dc chill'en, and lie known
it to cause u young gal to slide down ober
dc roof OF de kitchen an lopo off wild de
owner Of u side.show,
abe guitar allus brings sadness an res
olushun to begin on de LIST Of Jinuary to
quit runnin' out nights an playing policy,
"De brass band might soothea sorrowin'
soul il he didn't have all he could do to hold
hiss boss.
"De mcclellan used to produce o desire
on de part Of de listener to BIO buried under
Il VOW tree, but ha'r dey have improved
so dat pusson would us lief be buried un-
der u bass wood.
"De organ fills the soul wild awe an
strikes tho heroic chord. II you am layin'
for man doan' tackle him Just after he
has bin takin' in de notes OF an organ.
"De banjo-yum! II you want my dog
my hoss-lny house an lot, play the
banj 70 an keep time wild yer iut. spect
dc music OF angelic harps am sweet an soft
an dreamy, but II dOy want to keep us
Guild folks satisfied up dar' leetle mo
banjo an u leetle less harp am do fust pre-.
scription. Let us now attack the bizness
Of dc meeting"
Gam Brudder Blue Glass Henderson in
dc hall tonight" blandly inquired the
President ashe stoodup andlo okGdaround.
Eyes, sah."
"Will he please step dis way?n
The brother stepped, lie didn't seem
to be easy in his mind, and he kept his
kept his eyes on the coffee pot once owned
by the poet Milton, instead of facing the
President.
''Brudder Henderson, you war in
butcher shop on Beaublen street las
Wednesday fonoon?"
Eyes, sah."
"Whon you went out dc butcher missed
two slices OBJ ham, an you were followed
an s'arched?"
"Ycs, sah."
"In ono Of your coat.tail pockets dey
found, not tho two slices Of ham, but Il
pound and u half Of beef"
ayes SAIL"
"iou couldn't tell war'you got dat beef
to save your life, an you let do butcher
ayes, sah, but de charge was stealth
ham,"
"Just so, Brudder Henderson, Just so.
Dey missed ham an dey found beef II
am plain 'nuir dat you didn't take dc
goods charged, but want You to understan'
dat when dey miss ham and find beef on
Il member Of dis club, dat member has had
dc VERY closest sort oh shave from beln'
bounced on'n our books an outer dc hall.
Take your seat, sah, and let dis be dc NV.
fullest kind Of a warnin' to YOU"