The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1881-07-29
Odd Items.

A man bewails his lot when it's three
feet under water.
A cat in the hand is worth two or
three on the roof of the shed.
DIFFICULT PROBLEM sosvED.
Ambition, competition and over-exer.
tion use up the vital powers OF men and
women, so that desire for stimuants
seems to be natural human passion, and
drunkenness prevails on account of this
necessity for bodily and mental invigor-
alton. Parker's Ginger Tonic fairly
solves the difficult problem, and has
brought health and happiness into many
desoate homes. 1t does not tear down
an already debilitated system, but builds
it up without intoxicating .--Enquirer
See other column.
The medicine crop shows no falling
ever.
NAY FEVER.
For twenty-five years / have been Sc
verely afflicted with Hay Fever, and have
tried many remedies without relief. While
suffering intensely was induced, through
Mr.. Tichenor's testimonial, to try Ely's
Cream Balm. The immediate effect was
marvellous. have been exposed to heat,
draughts and dust, and have escaped
return attack. pronounce Ely's Cream
Balm cure for Hay Fever William T.
Carr, Presbyterian Pastor, Elizabeth n. j.
Having been afflicted with Hay Fever
for years | gave Elys Cream Balm a
trial. was much benefited if not perman-
emily cured. ] have had no real attacks
since usingit it e. II. Rauch, Editor Car
bon County Democrat, Mauch Chunk,
Pa. Price 80 cents.
A Providence girl on being told that
her false hair was coming Off replied
that it was no such thing, AS she didn't
wear false hair. And then she went and
looked in the mirror.
NOT BEVERAGE.
"They are not Il beverage, but a med
icne, with curative properties OF the high
est degree, containing no poor whiskey or
poisonous drugs. They do not tear down
an already debilitated system, but build
| it up. One bottle contains more hops, .. G.
| more real hop strength, than a barrel of
ordinary beer. Every druggist in Roch-
ester sells them, and the physicians pre-
scribe them. '-Ecening Express on
Hop Bitters.
| What is it we all like to possess and
yet always wish to leave behind us? A
good character.
WINE FOR INvALIDS.
The Port Grape Wine of New Jersey
is the best medicinal wine i'll the market,
and it is said that the vintage of a. Speer
far excels any other produced. tbs heavy
in body, rich in flavor and well adapted
for sckly persons and for general family
use For sale by c. A. Klein, Druggist;
Bloomsburg Pa.
think half the dime that some day old
nickle get him.
| OUT OF SORTS.
| Many persons complain of not feeling
well; and, through not absolutely sick or
in pain, are perpetually in state of dis
comfort caused by the digestive organs
not properly performing their work. To
correct the disordered condition of the
stomach and restore health, take half
tablespoonful of Simmons Liver Regula-
tor after each meal. Try this purely vege-
table cathartic, tonic and Alternative and
it will convince you that no one can
', take it and remain long unwell. For sale
by G. A. Klein, Druggist, Bloomsbury
Pa.
= A cynical old batchelor says that ''lov-
ers are like armies; they get along well
enough till the engagement begins.
IL GRANDMOTHER
: Used to say: Boys, if your blood is out
of order try Burdock tea' and then they
r had to dig the Burdock and boil it down
in kettles, making nasty smelling de-
coction; now you get al the curative
r properties put up in palatable form in
r Burdock Blood Bitters. Price $l.00, trial
size 10 cents.
e An Irishman who was found guilty of
t stealing coffee, was asked by the Magis
S trate what he did with it. "Made tay
, with it," was the reply.
Geo. Meredith, jersey City, writes
J. "The Spring Blossom you sent me hal
had the happiest effect on my daughter
her headache and depression of spirit
has vanish' d. She is again able to go t.
!. school, and is as lively as a cricket.
: shall certainly recommend it to all m,
friends. Price so cents, trial bottles II
, :, cents.
!. A very disagreeable old gentleman
dies. A nephew, charged with the dut,
Il of preparing his epitaph, suggests
Deeply regretted by allwho never knew
# him"
d We have no hesitation whatever il
st recommending DR.. Bulls Baby Syrul
r for children teething or suffering from
a Wind Collie, DiarrhGa or Dysentery.
9 a newly married couple riding in
e carriage were overturned, whereupon
at stander-by said it was "a shockin
a sight" "Yes, said a gentleman, 'to sc
10 those just welded fall out so soon."
ID VIRTUE ACKNOWLEDGED.
G. Mrs. Ira Mulholland, Albany, N. Y
r writes: "For several years have suffe
nj ed from oft-rccuring bilious headaches
ne dyspepsia, and complaints peculiar to IN
I'd sex, Since usl g your Burdock Bloc
Ks Bitters ! am entirely relieved" Prit
er 800, trial size 10 cents.
The fool goeth ont in sail boat whe
he doesn't know boom from breake
ne but the wise man picks up pebbles G
u the shore and tiirts with the girl in a pin
>, dress.
IS The harsh aspect of the autumnal gra
~ which betokens the shady side of life,
lg easily modified by the use of Ayers Ha
IN Vigor,
~ A school teacher in Iowa had the de
~ of the world all nicely figured up to
~, cent, when a Chicago man got trust,
We to a Goldfish, and forgot whether it CO