davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Nebraska advertiser., 1881-04-14
HUMOROUS.

domestic animals are supposed to
be dumb, yetwe have seen several dogs
i'll Syracuse that were remarkable tall
ours. --Syr0cHSe Itn,cS.
1t is not the brilliant author, work
ing quietly with his pen, who makes the
most noise in the world. 1t is the po-
ltical stump speaker and the boiler
maker.-N. o. Ftcayatne.
Monday evening, February 21, a
yotlng Baltimorean came rushing home
in brcathless haste. eXclaiming: Papa,
pay a! George Washington is dead, and
there no school tomorrow. baltimore
PreS6Hertdn.
There is a hog in Ohio which is
fifty years old. This must be ancient
Greece. -Patcb There is bottle of
spirits in Kentucky that is one hundred
and seventy-four years old. This must
be ancient Rum. american queen.
The canary had begun to twitter a
little after moulting, but was unable to
sing his entire tune. The little four
year-old, after listening to one of the
bird vain attempts to master his tune,
said very composedly, "Mamma, birdie
only sang half a verse. Rome Senti-
mel.
"A debating society has tackled the
question: lis it worse to think you've
reached the top when there is one stair
more, than to think there is one stair
more when you've reached the top, and
bring your foot down so hard that it
tingles for four hoursP'- Boston Post.
- only play by note,' said a plan
list. "Seems to me you could do more
execution ii you would play by ear"
remarked Fogg. "Such reach, you
know" And the pianist reached for
Fogg, who got himself out of the way
just III time - boston Transcript.
A Galveston darky rushed into a
doctors Office and breathlessly eX-
claimed: "Come on, doctor, right off.
Dar is somebody in my house who is in
;n awful iiX-laid up in bed agroanin'
aud agroanin'." "Who is it?' 4" 1t S
me. You see, boss, didn't hab nobody
to send, so came myself - GalOeSton
I NG1CS.
Nebraska advertiser., 1881-04-14
Personal AND LITERARY.

1-John G. Whittier will write the ode
for the Yorktown Centennial.
-Ex-Speaker Randall has resumed
his legal practice in Philadelphia.
-Meissoniers small picture, "On
the Balcony" was sold at New York
the other day for SO, $50.
-- Rev. l.. Il. Chamberlain read 1000
volumes of Sunday school literature to
make q selection of 600 for a school in
Norwich, Conn.
Bret Harte, IN talking with a friend
in regard to his literary work, said: "l
assure you that l barely average $4,000
II year"
Miss Harrison. who is now Lady
Arthur Hill, receives IA roy atty of four
thousand dollars a year on her ballad,
"In the Cleaning" She was former
ly a governess.
MIR. John Bright's library is a nota-
BILE feature in his modest home twelve
hundred volumes OF which were bought
for him, at II cost of E5,OlS, by his ad-
mirers, after the Corn Law League had
fulfilled its mission.
Mr.. Carlyle's friends, il is reported,
wish to put the little house in Scotland
in which he was born in repair, and keep
Lit 9s q monument making it perhaps
into library for the use of the country
people about
M. Gillis, a wealthy merchant of
ST. Petersburg, has offered prize OF
one thousand ilorins for the best expo
sltion of Kant's views on 1.-The ldeality
of Time and Space" He will also pub
lish the successful work at his own ex-
pense and give the profits to the author.
Miss Kate Smith, an inmate of the
Union Home for Old Ladies in Phila.
delphia, after three years labor, has
completed a quilt containing 55, ,552
pieces. She has been blind from infancy,
but threaded every needle herself, and
used one hundred spools of thread in
her work.
Mrs Betsey II. Perkins, of Taun.
ton, Mass, celebrated her one-hun-
dreth birthday the other day, and did
the handsome thing by her daughters
in giving them each $1,000 bond
She remmembers the excitement
caused by the Inauguration of Washing.
ton, which happened when she was
eight years old. She has iifty-twC
living descendants.
Nebraska advertiser., 1881-04-14
Founder in Horses.

Founder, a disease that is far too
common in horses, is caused most fire.
quently by driving or working the ami
NAL till it is overheated, and more or
less exhausted, and then allowing him
to cool off suddenly without rubbing
dry. A horse is driven hard for sew
eral miles and then hitched to post
in the open air in cold winter weather,
and perhaps forgotten by the driver,
who may be telling stories, or smoking
q cigar by Il warm fire. The next
morning, if not sooner, it is noticed
that the animal has not eaten well, and
can scarcely move from the stall. The
lameness may be chiefly in one limb, or
in more than one. DR.. Cressy, in his
recent lecture before the Connecticut
Board of Agriculture, said that any case
of founder can be cured if taken within
thirty hours of the attack.
The first thing to do is to place the
horses feet in tubs of warm water,
then blanket heavily, and get the ami
nal thoroughly warm all over. The
lameness is caused by stagnation of
the blood in the feet, caused by being
cooled too rapidly after exhausting la
extends and softens the blood vessels,
and favors increased circulation. In
very bad cases, bleeding in the foot
may be necessary, though ordinarily it
may be dispensed with.
Knowing the cause of founder, it will
be seen that it is much easier to pre-
vent than to cure this disease after it
becomes established. In the first place
avoid very severe driving and over ex-
haustion, but if abuse of this kind is
unavoidable, see to it that the horse
who has risked his life in the service OF
his master is not neglected at the end
of his Journey Drive into warm
shed or barn, free from cold draughts.
and rub vigorously till the animal is
dried OF. Give warm water to drink,
and cover with warm blankets. In
sort, treat the horse Just as YOU would
treat yourself under like circumstances
NeW ENqiaHd Farmer,
Nebraska advertiser., 1881-04-14
No Chance.

A man on whom the burdens of win
ter had left their mark entered an office
on Griswold street yesterday and
promptly inquired:
"DO YOU want cashierpn
"NO, sir"
"Cr private secretaryP"
Z" No, sir"
"Want a porter?'
"No, sir"
WANT anybody at the house to take
care of your horSesp'
Haven't any horses"
"Want any coal brought inP"
"DOn't use COAL
"Want any wood sawed?'
"No; | board"
"Shall | sweep out your office for a
luarter?n
NO.
"Can you recommend me for jobPn
mo-
Feel like lending me ten centsP"
mo-
$50 nickel on me?"
"No."
"Give me that stub of cigarP'
"No; I'm smoking that.
"Fhink there's any chance for me in
Derot?"
"NO.n
"All right; I'll leave it within half an
hour. Good day, sir"
And he walked out as stiff as poker.
.-DctroH Free Press.
Nebraska advertiser., 1881-04-14

II seems strange any one will suffer from
arrangements brought on by impure blood,
when SCOVILLs' SARsAPARILLA AND STILLIN-
OLA, or BLOOD AND LIVER SYRUP, will restore
health to the physical organization. 1t is
pleasant TO take, and the BEST BLOOD PURI-
FER ever discovered, curing Scrotula, Weak
ness OF the Kidneys, Erysipelas, Malaria; all
Nervous disorders, Debility, Bilious com
plants and all diseases Of the Blood, Liver
Kidneys, Stomach, Skin, etc. AS II health
renewer, it ACTS LIKE CHARM
Nebraska advertiser., 1881-04-14
Presence OF NJ nd.

There is nothing like having presence
of mind. A farmernear Mount Brydges,
Ontario, was drawing a log across the
Great Western Railway track, when the
sleigh stuck in the rails. Now, when a
loaded, iron-shod sleigh gets stuck on a
railroad track it is no slight job to get
it OIL, and the farmers horses proved
unequal to the task. As the Atlantic
express was in sight, some people might
have lost their presence of mind. Not
so the farmer. He quietly unhitched
his horses and removed himself and
them to safe distance. He did not
signal the engineer, as some foolish
people would have done, but waited
with great faith in the power of the
engine to do what his horses were un-
able to accomplish. To the credit of
steam, it is said that he was not disap-
pointed. Not only was the sleigh re-
moved from the track, but the engine
also. As was previously remarked,
there is nothing like presence of mind.
Free Press.
Nebraska advertiser., 1881-04-14

The Duchess Laura de Bauflremont,
it is reported, is going to found q colony
of French emigrants in this country.
This eccentric and good-hearted lady is
the daughter of the millionaire banker,
NJ. Leroux, and is noted for her oddi-
tes-in which, however, she is always
the grande dame. She has bought q
convent in Italy for the pleasure of liv-
ing in it a month; she has supported
an Imperialist paper in London, and she
appeared once IN the Row with tame
bear in her carriage, attached 10y thick
gold chain.
Nebraska advertiser., 1881-04-14

The superiority Of he masculine over the
feminine gender is apparent in all the con-
Germs OF lie, ana yet We have found no such
lrreiutabG statement of the fact ~ thar
made by II thoughtful TeutOn. lie said: III
the women look at the moon, they always
see man in it; If they hear mouse nib
bling after dark, it's man trying To break
into the house; and they always look under
the bed, the last thing at NIGHT, 10 find q
man Now, a man never looks under the
bed TO find woman. Does heP
Nebraska advertiser., 1881-04-14

The wife of a Congressman, having been
abroad sal 10 gentleman: "Im splendid
on pictures; Pm regular common sewer oi
the art. More and over, when play whist
play third and hand high In France they
have lots OF frame aud sardiueS for money.
But I've travelled ANA feel little bAIse. & rO-
nounced in one syllablc) That's French.
It's regular language, Is French, They
don't sneak nOthin else in Spain and Italy
and pOtage COuntrics.n
Nebraska advertiser., 1881-04-14

SPEAKING of Governors suggests the men
tlon of an item we received from Mr. Henry
A. Knight, Foreman at Chas Waters ~ Co. IS
Governor and Valve Works, Boston, Mass.
/ have used st. Jacobs OIL among our en-
ployees and find that it never fails to cure.
The men are delighted with the wonderful
effects of the OIL, as it has cured them of
bruises, burns, etc
Nebraska advertiser., 1881-04-14

"A Cartersville (Ga.) man was made
as bald as an eagle the other day, the
hair-dye in his whiskers catching fire
from cigar he smoked, sending the
flames kiting over his head as if it had
been dry prairie.
Nebraska advertiser., 1881-04-14
A Great Enterprise.

The Hop Bitters Manufacturing Company
is one OF Rochester's greatest business enter
prises. Their Hop Bitters have reached a sale
beyond all precedent, having from their in
trinsic value found their way into almost
every household in the nd.-GrdphiC.
Nebraska advertiser., 1881-04-14
[ElRIn nlll Dnlly Leader. ]

THE subjoined opinion, we perceive, is by
J. A. Daniels, Esq, of Messrs. Stogdtll "
Daniels, attorneys, La Crosse, Wis, and ap-
pears in the La Crosse Chronicle: Some time
since, was attacked with pain in and below
one of my knee joints. few applications
OF st. Jacobs Oil Quieted the ain and relieved
the Inflammation. l regard it as valuable
medicine
Nebraska advertiser., 1881-04-14

JUST been paying my gas bill" said
Smith, as he came out OF tha Office and was
halted 10y a man who hal been look ng for
MN, "les, tac rich can have gas, ~ sghcs
the other as he put on dissatisfied look.
And Dy paying IL to-day ! save ten sAll.-
ings" sad smith. Ten shiIlugs ~ Yes -
"Ah. thtts tue way with ths void Here
you can burn gas the year round ana save ten
shllmgs a month, whie must use lam.
and pay cash down for my Kerosene or have I,
constable running after me- Detroit FI1r
Ple,S.
Nebraska advertiser., 1881-04-14

ANOTHER great triumph for woman. Mss
Mary Kelly, Of New YORK, found man under
the bed the other night IL is II matter Of
i've hundred years since women began TO look
under the bed for man, and the fact that
their perseverance has at last been crowned
with success must be gratifying To every ad-
mircr OF the sex. lhicagO Tribune
Nebraska advertiser., 1881-04-14

A WISE father to his son: "Now, John,
do not object to your being n fool and an
idiot BE fool and an idiot II you want to,
but what do not wish you to do is to let
everybody know it.n
Nebraska advertiser., 1881-04-14

A YOUNG bride being asked how her hus
band turned out, replied that he turned out
verl late in the morning and turned in very
late at night. -Cdnibridge Press
Nebraska advertiser., 1881-04-14

lF Worcester spells "Wooster," the e..
mira AdofrtiSer desires to know Why RocheS.
ter doesn't spell "koostrrn
Nebraska advertiser., 1881-04-14

WHEN a woman becomes laundress late
In life she may be said TO have reached the
iron age, ,-BOhtDu Courier
Nebraska advertiser., 1881-04-14

HAS any one heretofore remarked that q
poster is a stuck-up thing Rome Sentinel,
Nebraska advertiser., 1881-04-14

DIR. ROGERS VEGETABLE Worm SYRUP in
stantly destroys worms and removes all the
Secretious which cause them.
Nebraska advertiser., 1881-04-14

BAKERS PAIN PANACEA cures pain In Man
and Beast. Use externally and internally.
Nebraska advertiser., 1881-04-14

InE betrothod young lady has the true
ring -SWdciNe Times.
Nebraska advertiser., 1881-04-14

RRDDING's RUSSIA SALvE, the most wonder
ful healing medium in the world. Price DC
The Portland daily press., 1881-12-26
BY TELEGRAPH.
FIRE IN ROCKLAND.
The Courier Office and Several
Stores Burned.
TOTAL LOSS ABOUT $4,000.

RocKLASD, Dec. 25-Shortly after u o'clock
this morning, fire broke out in the Courier
Office In Jones Block, on Main street. The
alarm was insufficient, and the building being
. wooden one, before water was got on the fire
1t had made such headway that despite all ef-
forts Of the firemen Jones' block and Glover s.
Ames' block adjoining, were entirely destroyed
There was no wino, or an extensive conflagra-
tion must have ensued. Jones' block was a
building OF two stories, Mansard roof, contain
ing three stores. Glover & Ames' building
was also of wood, two stories, and containing
three stores. The losses are not yet fully as
certained, but the following is An approximate
estimate, with the smount Of Insurance.:
n. Jones, on building. about 5000; insured
for 5000.
Courier office, about 5000; insured for
&l,500
6. w. Drake, stoves. agricultural goods and
furniture, about S3, 800; insured for S., 900.
E. Nelson Barber, about $500; no insurance.
Bakers dye house, small loss.
The Reform Club and Workingmsn's Is Asso-
citation lost the furniture of their halls in the
third story.
Glover & Ames, on building about S4,5OO:
oliver Gay, grocer, about $500; insured for
$1,000.
F. G. Cobb, plumber, about $500; no insur-
ance.
]. w. Covell, silver platter, about 5000; in
sured for $500.
VIM. Fsrrow, sail-maker, partial loss; COW
cred by 81, 500 insurance.
o. s. Trussell, job shop, removed with tri-
fling loss.
Jones& Bicknell, lumber, lot of 800, 900 shin
giles, valued from five TO seven hundred dollars,
on which was one hundred insurance. Some
damage was sustained to lumber in the yard,
which was covered by insurance.
Thetenants of the neighboring premises suf.
fered some small losses and damage b. she has
ty packing and removal of effects. The total
loss is from eighteen to twenty Thousand dol
lars. Total insurance about thirteen thousand
dollars
The Portland daily press., 1881-12-26
WALL STREET.

The Bear Movement Over-Good Buying
OF Certain Stocks.
New YORK, Dec. 24-Wall street reports
state that it is generally believed that the
worst of the bear movement is over. There
will probably be further attacks on particular
stocks, but the general list would bs allowed
to harden into an advance. A large amount
of long stocks were bought yesterday. Parties
who have been out of the market for months
made heavy purchases, and conservative bro
kers in many cases advised purchases for long
account.
Mr.. Gould is reported as saying that there
can be no bull market until certain inflated
stocks are brought down to their proper level.
Vanderbilt houses bought some Union Pacific
stock yesterday. Boston was also buyer.
The decline in Reading yesterday was on the
forced sale of block of stock for the account
OF parties in Philadelphia.
Ten thousand shares of Wabash preferred
are said to have been sold in this market yes
terday for foreign account.
President Dowd of Hannibal and st. Joseph
SAYS that the company will not pay interest on
the Missouri State Aid bonds, and that the
road will not be sold for lack Of such payment,
for the reason that the company paid into the
State Treasury last June the full amount of
the State loan for which the bonds were issued,
Unlisted securities were in good demand
yesterday. Boston is buying Oregon short line
subscriptions on Information that the compa-
ny's bonds will be guaranteed by the Onion
Pacific.
A prominent banking house says that the
amount of money coming into the street after
the first of January will be much larger than
the general estimate.
Exchange rates admit shipments Of gold
from Europe at profit
The Portland daily press., 1881-12-26

of speaking In abusive terms OF the Sultan, has
been sentenced to six months imprisonment In
his defence Mr.. O'Donovan said that he only
used the words for which he was arrested In
connection with the wrong done to Turkish
bondholders, and that he had no intention OF
insulting the Sultan Lord Dufferin, the Brit
ish ambassador here, has promised TO 90 all In
his power to obtain pardon for Mr. opono-
van.
LATER.
CoNsrANT1NopE, Dec. 25-Through the in
fuence of Mr.. Fawcett, British Consul Gem
eral here and some influential friends, par
don has been granted to O'Donovan, the cor
respondent OF the London Daily News, VINO
was sentepced to six months imprisonment for
speaking in abusive terms OF the Sultan
O'Donovan will leave the city tomorrow.
The English Election Bribery Cases.
Sir William Harcourt. Home Secretary, re-
plying to the memorial asking for the remis-
sion Of the remainder OF the sentences passed
ON the person5 convicted of bribery in the Par
liamentary elections at Sandwich and Maccles-
field, says he regrets that he can find notning
to justify him in interfering with the SEN
tences,
The Insecurity of London Theatres.
The dramatic critics of London, at meeting,
condemned the unsafe condition OF the thea
tres, and passed resolutions urging the appoint
ment Of a government official, VINO shall Do
held responsible for their safety e Isfsas =
The Pope's Christmas Reception,
ROME, Dec. 2a.-The Pope to-day gave the
customary Christmas eve reception to the car
dinals, Of whom there were % in attendance,
including the German Cardinal Hohenlohe. In
reply to their address, the Pope said that bis
position was becoming more and more intol-
cradle. When he claimed temporal power, IN
order to secure independence Of spiritual DOW
or, he was accused Of being rebel and an ene-
my to Italy Catholics who demanded efficient
guarantees for freedom for the head of their
church were similarly stigmatized, and pill
grims to Rome were insulted by the press and
the populace. 1t was therefore only natural
that bishops coming to Rome should consider
the existing situation, which is incompatible
with the dignity of the Holy See. His holi-
ness said that he expected far more severe per-
secution in time to come, but he would sendeav'
or to guide the bark of Peter through the trou-
bled sea, looking forward TO the moment when
God would calm the tempest. s
Cronstadt in Flames. $50 :
VIENNA, Dec. 25.-A telegram from St. Pc.
tersburg reports that the whole naval part Of
Cronstadt is on fire. One quarter OF the town
is reported to be already destroyed. Loss is
enormous The fire is believed to be the work
of Nihilists.
The Portland daily press., 1881-12-26
FOREIGN.

Enormous Losses of Coffee Spectators
LONDON, Dec. M.-The Daily Telegraph, in
its financial article, says: Havre advices state
that some enormous speculative operations in
coffee have thus far resulted in losses estimated
at Ell 100000.
The Troubles in Ireland.
The Suspect" Moore, who has been released
from Kilmainham prison on condition OF his
emigrating, was arrested in the early part OF
the year in connection with the murder OF Mr..
Wheeler, land agent, but was discharged on
lack of evidence. He was subsequently rear
rested under the Coercion act. He has been
sent to Queenstown under an escort, where he
will embark.
LONDON, Dec. A.-The Duke of Marbor-
ough, writing to the lord mayor of London, OBJ
serves that it is somewhat singular that the
Property Defence Association, after strug-
Cling existence of more than year, should
only just at the 11th hour have attracted the
valuable support of the Mansion House, with
the incidental approval of Mr.. Gladstone. The
duke guards himself from the implication OF
having any faith in the expediency of a volun-
tary. agency. The Times, in editorials seeks
to show that the dukes letter deserves atten-
ton because it expresses the views OF thought
ireland, and the conditions on which improve
ment may be looked for.
Proposals to Increase the Pay of the
French Deputies.
PARIS, Dec. 24-The papers are warmly dis
cussing pEoposal which has been urged on the
governments to increase the pay of the MEM
bers Of the Chamber Of Deputies by $4,000 per
annum. Il is stated that M. Gambetta is averse
to takinglthe initiative, but would support the
proposal If 1t were introduced by an inauentia
member
a Correspondent Gets Six Months.
CoNsrAsTINoPTE, Doc. M.--Mr. 0Donovan.
the correspondent Of the London Daily News,
who was arrested on Wednesday on the charge
The Portland daily press., 1881-12-26
MINOR TELEGRAMs.

The aggregate of large subscriptions by citi-
zens of Cleveland for the Garfield Monument
Fund now amounts to S54, 200; the small con-
tributions to $27 600. Total $81 200.
Jeremiah Harrigan was Saturday sentenced
to be hung at Wilmington, Delaware, on March
"a, for the murder of Dennis O'Shea.
Oscar Byrnes was arrested at the depot in
New York, Friday night, with 5000 worth OF
seal skin sacks, which he had stolen from q
store in Grand Rapids, Mich,
The Internal Revenue receipts to-day $751;
400 49,; customs, S552, ,004.62. Receipts OF ma
tional 5sAk notes. for redemption to-day $685.
COO. ssft
William Bateman, who killed Horace Bishon
at Jordan, N. Y, has been sentenced to Au-
burn prison for four years.
Mayor Charleton, chairman of the Port HUI
ron Execctive committee, estimates that $200,-
600 more are needed for the sufferers BY last
falls fire.
/ Stores of Moore & Co., linen dealers, and
Alvah Hall & Co., umbrella manufacturers,
in New York, were burned yesterday. Total
loss $500 900.
The Tammany general committee have
adopted the report of the subcommittee ex-
pelling Murray and White
Frederick Lauer, a well known brewer OF
Reading, Penn, has failed. Liabilities $780,
600. Assets $250,00
Charles d. Randall of Boston was held for
examination Saturday, in the New York police
court, on the charge of larceny OF $1,000 worth
of diamonds, the property OF Albert L. John
sson, ieweler.
Eleven new cases OF small pox and three
deaths were reported in Jersey City yesterday,
In the various New York city prisons yester-
day extra dinners, in honor OF the day, were
served to the prisoners
John r. Monahan, is years old, was jammed
between two freight cars at Warehani, Mass, 1,
yesterday afternoon, and died in about two
hours.
Perley Riford of Concord, N. H.. brake
man on the Northern railroad was knocked
from Fishville bridge ipto the river Saturday,
and drowned.
The Gloucester, Mass, fishing schooner
Smuggler reports she lost a dory containing
four men, in the gale Friday night, near
Chatham.
One man was shot dead and three fatally
wounded, Saturday, at Helenwood, Tcnn. /, in
an affray which grew out OF dog fight