The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1881-03-17
FAOETIE.
January, sneezy; February freely:
March, breezy; April wheezy;
May, showery; June lowery;
July, bOWery August fiovorv.

March, breezy April wheezy;
May, showery; June loweryi
July, bowery August, iowery;
september blowery; October, fowey;
November, snowy; December, glowey.
When a young fellow gets the mtten
his feelings are less-rated
Inquirer-A jury is body organized
for the purpose Of deciding which side
In lawsuit has the smaltest lawyer.
A man never looks SO much like a
red-handed william as when he is told
by the photographer to "look pleas
anti
Josh Billings says that "a good doctor
Is q gentleman to whom we pay 50 a
visit for advising us to eat less and cx-
ercise more"
When woman leaves man who
has not earned his salt for years, he inn
mediately advertises that he will pay no
debts OF her contracting.
A Saginaw man has invented a way
TO manufacture Governors messages
from sawdust, and the price will be in
the reach of every Governor.
A Missouri man with an improving
nail chopped his toe off This remedy
never fails. For sale at all hardware
stores. Beware of limitations.
Clara Belle says wide mouths have
come into fashion again" This is for
tunate, for it is much easier to enlarge
a small mouth than sew up the ends of
big one.
An Iowa young lady dreamed thrice
that she had married certain man.
She met the man according to her
dream, and the marriage took place,
and-now the two are divorced. 49,
Eim,ra Free Press.
Pupil; What is a hero. Mr..
Birchem?" Teacher (Mr. Birchem):
"A hero is a man who conquers him
self" Pupil "Ah | see; man who
can sit down on tack and only feel
sad about it."
A photographer recently acted as
master of ceremonies at a friends
funeral, and as he lifted the coffin lid
for the mou' ners to look at the remains,
whispered to the corpse, Now, look
natural" Force of habit.
Young Mr.. Ecru has very salow
complexion. He says he isn't proud.
and he doesn't care ut all about his
looks, but what bothers him is that his
complexion is naturally so yellow that
he can't tell when he is bilious.
a say, Paddy that is the worst look.
ing horse that | ever seen in harness:
Why don't you fatten him up?" Fat
him up, is it? FAX, the poor haste can
scarcely carry the little mate that's on
him now" replied Paddy,
Nothing beats lightning for speed, I'M
less it be the way boy jumps out of
bed in the morning, when, after his
mother has shouted herself hoarse, he
hears the tread Of the Old mans boots
upon the stairway, as he stealthily
creeps to the top.
Yes remarked a musical critic,
recently from Kansas. 'the tiddin' was
bully but ! tell you when that fat chap
with the big mustach laid hold of the
bass fiddle and went for them low notes
in the violin-cellar, just felt as if a
buzz-saw was playin' Yankee Doodle
on my backbone"
A Western town has female Sheriff.
Recently she arrested man, and he,
hoping to ilatter her into letting him
escape, told her she was the handsomest
woman he ever saw. And did she let
him escape? No! She wouldn't let
that man out of her sight, anyway, but
wanted him around all the time.
Trickery is sure to fail in the end
Boston Post
An army joke 4 mounted orderly, |
an lrishman, was refining up to deliver
an official document at the officers
quarters at Aldershot, when his charger
backed and he found himself sitting on
the pavement 'Bedad.n cried the
hussar, isn't that an intelligent haste? |
Sure he knew | wanted to get down
and he saves me the trouble
-
Edward F. Schroeder, the man who |
shot DIR. Lefeyre, in San Francisco, has |