The Pascagoula democrat-star. (Pascagoula, Miss.) 1878-1920, 1881-10-28
PHUNEYG2APHS.

comes trom Dakota postmaster,
who acknowledged the receipt OF a
package Of postal cards from tho
holyoke factory, in these words:
Received the the pakakichitch.n
$50 | see some one has returned
the 20 francs you LOST "Yes,
queer thing about that. I0fIered |
10 francs reward, but my money
didn't turn up. Then | offered 80
francs, and at least dozen fellows
brought it to me.r
Ii is difficult to get the noise out
of boy. OF course you can get
some noise out of him; but you
can never draw of bis entire sup
Iply. Ten fourth OF Julys and three
circus parades would leave him just
as full as when lie began,
The degree Of ID. ID. has been con.
ferIed on the general baggage
agent Of the Central Pacific rail.
road. This degree is every day
conferred on baggage agents, but
two small DIS are considered sufi-
cient to express the idea.
A colored couple elegantly dress
cd and in the bloom OF youth, were
passing up Austin avenue, when
tho man was heard to say, "Miss
Matilda Johnsings, does yer trans.
pire like | doessu 81 recon SO
Il sweats like u hog
An old lady in looking over the
advertisements the other day, saw
one headed "Radical cures.n "Well,
she said, "rm glad il they've got
way to cure them radicals, for
they've been turning the world up.
side down every since the war;
A Maryland OK tried to toss a
baby carriage, and broke its neck.
Anybody who has ever found one
of the things at the head Of the
stairs in a dark hallway late at
night, will believe this, and con-
slider the OK a fool tor tackling it.
A Detroit young man denounces
the poke bonnets "because they
chafe his ears.u Here, now, is a
question for scientists. Can th.oS
explain how it is that d poke bon
net worn by ono person can chafc
the ears of another person not
wearing it,
They cured a man of blindness
in Keokuk recently by heroic treat
ment. They told him thore was o
dog fight, a circus procession and o
pretty girl crossing tho street, to
be seen from his window, and by
q tremendous effort of will he was
enabled to see.
We arc going to Arkansas and
start u paper, calling it Quinine
aud Whisky Everybody will
take it, Modern Argo. Better.
call it "Fever aud Ague,r for peo-
pie take that frst.-SomeruiHe
Journal Correct! Shake!! Yacob
Strauss.
A "qnite too too young lady
was questioning an Oxford profess
sor the other day about his stu
dents 81 suppose they are SO clev-
er they never talk English now, do
they n said she. "IIardly ever,n
answered the professor. "What
do they speak-Greek, Latin, Sy.
ricp Slang,n answered the doc
tor.
When Lydia Thompson's hus-
band doesn't want her to 90 out of
an evening he seals her clothes up
in an envelope and hands 1t to the
hotel clerk to lock up in the safe.
-Er. Such tribe would not pre-
vent her from going on the stage,
however. She could wear d sweet
smile, and a rose in her hair, as
iormerly.-Norristoioa Herald.
81 knew he was no saint,n said
the parsons wife, referring to
party who occasionally attended
church. but whose piety her hus-
band had been in the habit of ex-
tolling. "No saint, my deari I
don't understand you.n "Don't
ehf Well, sat In the pew next to
him this morning, and when he
made believe to get down to pray,
his knee joints creaked like the
rusty hinges of an old barn door,
Mike: ssIt's the Irish that does
all the invinting in these days.
sure.v Johnathan: ssIrish be
darned; the Irish don't. invent
to speak of; its the
Americans that invent everything.n
Mike: "Thin perhaps yez can tell
me why tho Irishman's name, Pat,
is always next to the date, on all the
new invintions. Devil of an Amori-
can name can You find on wan, at
alp
Two men disputed about their
powers of endurance, and one said
testify to the other, II bet You that
| can hold my legs In boiling water
longer than you cam ssDone,n
said the other, aud the steaming
water was brought. In went the
legs; No. | with an air OF defiance,
No. . with edyfying serenity. No.
l began to vince, No. 2 called
calmly for the newspaper. No. 1
began to find it intolerabl0, No. 2
smiled at the humor Of the paper.
Gin heavens nameF 10 last
exclaimed No. 4, exasperated by
the heat Of the water and The cool
ness of his antagonist, HHhat y
your leg made of n "Food, = sen !
fnnfinuslv rnnIip1 fho other.