The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1881-12-03
IS POLITE SOCIETY poLITEq
Mrs. Julia Ward Howes Second Lecture
at Congress Hall.

There was a large audience at Congress Hall
last evening to listen to Mrs. Julia Ward
Howe's essay on polite society. The essay was
charming in the beauty of its style; simple but
not commonplace; keen in its analysis of the
follies, shams, and sins of polite society; but
broad, kindly and humane in its temper; re-
formatory in its aim but with nothing of horta-
| ton in its method.
The lecturer prefaced the essay by saying
that though she asked the question she would
not pledge herself to answer it, For it is easy
| to ask not always SO easy to answer. So we
profound this question with difiidence.
| She said in substance What is polite society
| if not polite? Polite society aims to give the
| tone of manners and to be the very embodi-
ment of taste. Not to lay down arbitrary rules
| that may last for period, but TO be steady
| and permanent institution. Let us not satirize
| our polite society, but study its short comings
| that We may cure them. What is politeness?
| A skin deep courtesy-a mere gloss? Would
| you like to live with man who puts it on as a
garment when he walks abroad. Give me the
man who always wears his manners Unlike
clothes manners are best mended when they are
on. The affectation of Difference does not inn
pose upon TOR the voice tells the story of insin-
cerity or sincerity. Flattery is not polite,
Keeling from the poison of this drug OF fattery.
In good society believe that it is less and less
fashionable to flavor conversation with fiattery.
Would 1 could say detraction was becoming
less fashionable The love of recognition and
distinction in growing generation makes its
me mbers envious of the already won place and
distinction of their elders Let the elders say
to the young 'Do not try to undervalue each
other" There isspraise enough for every
body" Earn your own praise, do not try 10
cut it out of the work Of others" / have seen
in polite society great and horrible malignsty-
words that were stabs, epithets that were poi
son.
Petite society in Judea could not ignore
Christ. Christ went to fashionable party.
The rich mans welcome of him was half heart.
ed. He did not even put him on a level with
his fashionable guests. But woman of the
town who was at the feast washed the feet of
the Master with her tears and kissed them.
What did this rich man get for his half-heart-
edness? Christ said to him-Simon this wom-
an knows the value of Gods truth better than
You and her act is what will mako your feast
+ jmembered.
Does intercourse with polite society make us
polite? Some pass the ordeal of wealth and
fashion unscathed. The great world makes
boast of some undimmed jewels-but these are
but rare. For one true soul there are twenty
who at the first lift of fortune forget their
friends and desert their relatives. There is
something hideous in the concealment Of poor
relations. Use your power to bring them
within the sphere of your refining influences.
Repudiate them and the mean world itself
will laugh at you 1t IS clever enough to find
out such secret and will be sure to expose
you.
Exclusion is the basis of polite society. The
right of possession is heightened by denying
possession to somebody else. TIE desirable
thing in this exclusion is the right of choice.
Society does decree that those who have GER
tain ancestry, certain education and above
all certain income shall go together The
result is that those outside of this charmed
circle try to push their way in and those who
are in try to keep them out. Neither of them
are polite. Those who are now in were cut
once.
The law of good breeding should not be
formal. Externa1s may be used to conceal de-
pravity.
Is that learning polite which man uses
merely to impress you? His hearers are put
on their mettle, they know something if not
all he knows. They may krow how to behave
themselves agreeably without fantastic airs of
learning. Pedantry, like all selishness, is
barren. The Office of superiority is hospital
ity Ii you have the key to the mansions of
learning use it TO let others in.
By common consent those who inherit money
put themselves above those who earn it. A
woman who earns her own living is apologized
for 1t is the idle and useless life that needs
apology, not the usefal and laborious.
The lecturer, in speaking of the manners of
the young Of to-day, expressed the opinion that
in polite society there had been deterioration
a lack of dignity on the part of young women,
a cheap and easy department. on the part OF
young men.
Let us organize society by real tastes and
sympathies. Let there be no crowding out or
in. Society has been obliged to incorporate
into its teachings the semblance of Christiani
ty. The letter of "quid pro quo'' must not be
too palpably present. II the outward adoption
of Christianity has done so much, what might
we not expect from its heartfelt adoption. No
nature is SO rude but it may be led in the d.
rection of this politeness. No one of us is SO
polite but that we may become more 50.