The Canton advocate. [volume] (Canton, D.T. [S.D.]) 1877-1897, 1881-07-14
JOB DEPARTMENT..
Having New Job Type
AND
A FAST JOB PRESS
We are prepared to do anything In this llus with
NEATNESS,
AND ON THE SHORTEST NOTICE.
Correspondence.
Correspondence solicited from all parts Of tbs
county, on all matter pertaining to local nowS.
All communications must be accompanied by the
writer's name, not ne cassarily for but
"a guarantee Of good faith.
the physicians that the presidents
chances now are u trifle more
than ever, standing, perhaps,
seven to five out of twelve.
IN A NUTSH ELL.


A Connecticut man has invented
pipe that will light itself. This is an
underhanded way to attempt to force
house-painters to find some new way
to kill time.--BOston Post.
George-Your article on "The Cat"
is purr-posely omitted. No doubt it
would afford much a-mews-ment to the
reader; but we must paws somewhere
on making up this weeks issue, and
we do so at the cats TAIL Yonkers Ga
sette.
The fashion of wearing gold pigs as
jewelry was mean trick, know, Sis,
on the daughters Of Israel. - Puck.
'Trick, l know Sis!' The man who
perpetrated such a magnificent tribute
to our national quadruped should be
presented with the freedom of Chicago.
-New York Commercial Advertiser.
An Iowa exchange says: Sunday
morning our "Devip stole a pail and
slipped off to the prairie and picked
about six quarts of nice delicious wild
strawberries. On his return we read
him severe lecture on Sabbath break
ing, and he divided the berries with
us.
"Aunty," said her neice, half OPEN
ing the old lady's bedroom door, abont
1 O'Clock in the morning, "there's II
smell Of burning spirits in the house,
and I came to tell you" ooh, don't
disturb yourself, my dear. It's only
your uncle. He returned just after
midnight, and is resting himself in the
hallway. Brooklyn Eagle.
Gerster, while en- route home on ship
board, sang in a charity entertainment
A sailor listened, and thus gave ex-
preston to his feelings "Now, tell
yer. and hang me, if that thar don't
sound as though it war the voice O
natur I've heard tell Of, and owns up
to feelin' moist in my headlights"
The New Orleans Picay"m informs
us that man by the name of Hash
has been sent as missionary to the
cannibals under the belief that the ma
tiyes will not eat him. Was the gen.
tleman's Christian name Corn Beef or
Goldfish? The Hash family are we'll
known; they belong to one of the oldest
and most respectable Southern board
ing houses in Washington.-New York
Commercial.
Mr.. Jay Gould was asked by Chi
cago reporter whether "the narrow
guage MANIA" in the West could not
be stopped? "No," replied Mr. Gould,
"you can't stop anything in this coun-
try The country is too big. ] made
up my mind long ago not to attempt
to stem any ideas, but to be fashiona-
bic and drift along with the crowd,
keeping as near to the shore rs posi-
ble."
"Your first wife was woman of con-
siderable force of character!" eyes,
she had force," he said, securing a
grease spot on his waistcoat with his
thumb. Powerful mental machin-
ery?" "Well, l don't recollect much
about that, but she had force. never
liked to oppose her in anything if there
was billet of wood handy" ."--Brooklyn
Eagle.
Four drawing-rooms are held yearly
in London. The Lord Chamberlain
gives notice of each IN the London Ga.
zette, and the daily papers copy it.
Then ensues a struggle for the honor
and glory of presentation on the part
of those, who having no special claim
to the invitation, covet it above all
other things. To be presented is to be-
come current coin in society through
out the civilized world.
II can't think all sinners will be
lost" said Mrs. Nimbletung. "There's
my husband, now. He's a bad man, q
very bad man, but l trust he will be
saved at last. believe he has suffered
his due share in this life." "Amen p
said Nimbletung from the back seat
Mrs. N. gave him such look, but said
nothing.
The Manchester Mirror man gives
some of his relatives from the country
dead away in the following manner:
"Two old ladies, evidently from the
interior of the state, were walking on
Elm street one day this week, when
one of them discovered a bunch of ban
'anas. Stopping to look at them, she
adjusted her glasses and exclaimed
well, do declare, if them amt bigger
string beans than ever saw in Bris-
An army colonel, who hoped to be
appointed to the Brigadier Generalship
which General Miles afterward received,
was seen gazing at the skies one night.
what are you looking for Colonel
Mackenzie ?" said Captain Mclaughlin.
"Oh, said the Colonel, T am looking
for star" Colonel, replied the Cap
tain, "theres Miles between you and
that star" And there was.-Detroa
Free Press.
A California hunter, on q recent ex-
pedition, had occasion to cross q very
wide and rapid stream. Among his
dogs was q terrier and Newfoundland.
The terrier refused to enter the water,
and the Newfoundland tried several
times to lead him in, by boldly plung-
ing in and wagging his tail in a conf
dent manner, but the terrier only kept
further from the stream. At last, dis
gusted by the timidity of the little cur,
the big dog rushed at the alarmed ter
rier, seized him by the neck and
jumped in the torrent with him. The
terrier yelled murder" and "policc,"
in the most expletive language known
to the canine tongue, until the New
foundland deposited him safely on the
other side.
A plant which grows wild in Louisi-
ana has just been discovered to possess
a valuable fiber. 1t is the Caroliniana, c
the pest Of the alluvial lands, called To-
cally wild indigo, coffee weed and
SIENNA. The plant has a fibrous bark,
easily reduced, and is q valuable fiber
for many purposes. 1t is not so fine as
jute, but it is quite as strong. 1t is
well suited for the manufacture of
bagging, sacking, mating and rope.
This weed springs up spontaneously in
the fields after the corn is laid by, and
attains its growth and goes to seed be-
fore frost. 1t costs nothing for its pro-
ducksop opd tho np1xy ovnooea 10 ~