The Portland daily press., 1881-12-19
THE PRESS.
Retiring from Business.
by BRET HARTE.


Who could ask more than that?
Curious people occasionally wondered
how, ahen it had been fully two years since
the colonel, with every one else, abandoned
Dutch Greek to the Chinese, he managed to
spend money freely. and to lose considerable
at cards and horse races. In fact, the keep
er of that one of the Challenge Hill saloons
which the colonel did not patronize was
ouce heard to wonder, absent-mindedly,
whether the colonel hadn't money mill
somewhere where he turned out eagles and
"slugs" 1.-THE cost name for hfty-dollar gold
pieces).
When so important parsonage as bar
keeper INDUCED publicly in the idea, the in
habitants of Challenge Hill, like good Cali
fornians everywhere, considered themselves
in duty bound to give it grave consideration;
so for few days certain industrious pro-
fessional gentlemen, who won money of the
colonel, carefully weighed some of the
brightest pieces and tested them with acids,
and sawed them In two, and retired them,
and melted them up, and had the Jumps
assayed.
The result was complete vindication of
the colonel, and a loss of considerable Gus
tom to the indiscreet barkeeper.
The colonel was as good-natured man as
had ever been known on Challenge Hill, but
being mortal, the colonel had his occasional
times of dependency, and one of them &C.
CURED after series of races in which he had
slaked his all on his bay mare Tipsie and
had lost.
Looking reproachfully at his beloved ami
NAL, he failed to heed the aching void Of his
pockets; and drinking deeply, swearing
eioquently and glaring defiantly at all man
kind were equally unproductive of coin.
& The boys at the saloon sympathized most
feelingly with the colonel. They were I'M
ceasing in their invitations to drink, and they
exhibited considerable Christian forbearance
when the colonel savagely dissented from
every one who advanced any proposition, no
matter how incontrovertible. But unappre-
ciated sympathy grows decidedly tiresome to
the giyer, and it was with feeling of relief
that the boys saw the colonel stride out OF
the saloon, mount Tipsie and gallop furious
ly away.
Riding on horseback has always been con-
sdered an excellent sort of exercise. Rid
ing is universally admitted to be one of the
most healthful means of exhilaratien In the
world, but when man is so absorbed in
this exercise that he will not stop to speak
to his friend, and when his exhilaration is
SO complete that he turns his eyes from all
well meaning thumbs pointing significantly
into doorways, through which man has
ofteo passed while seeking bracing influ-
ences, it is only natural that people should
express some wonder.
The co.onel was well known at To-day
Flat, Lone Hand, Blazers, Murderer's Bar,
and several other villages through which he
passed. AS no one had been seen to precede
him, betting men were soon Offering odds
that the colonel was running away from
somebody.
Sl.lcty speaking they were wrong, but
they won all the money that had been
staked against them, for within half an hour
there passed over the same road an anxious
looking individual who refined up in front Of
the principal saloon of each place and in
quired if the colonel had passed.
Had the gallant colonel known that he
was followed and by whom, there certainly
would have been an extra election held at
the latter place very shortly after, for the
pursuer was the constable, and for all Off
GERS of the law the colonel possessed hatred.
On galloping away the colonel followed
the stage road, which threaded the old min
ing camps on Dutch creek, but suddenly he
turned out of the road and urged his horse
through the youngest pines and bushes
which grew thickly by the road, while the
constable rode on to the next camp.
There seemed to be no path through the
thicket into which the colonel had turned,
but Tipsie walked between the trees and
his stable yard.
Suddenly voice from the bushes shouted:
whats up?"
"Business-thats what"
sits time" replied the voice, and its
owner-a bearded six-footer-emerged from
the bushes and stroked Tipsie's nose with
the freedom of an old acquaintance. 1--WE
amt had nip since last night, and there
amt a cracker or handful of flour in the
shant. The old gal gone back on yerT'
s'Yes," replied the colonel, ruefully; lost
every blasted race. 'Twasn't her fault
bless her-she done her level best. Ev'ry-
body to homer"
'sYou bet" said the man. "All been
prayin' for yer to turn up with the rocks an
something with more color than spring
water. Come on"
The man led the way, and Tipsie and the
Colonel followed, and the trio suddenly
found themselves before log hut, in front
of which sat three solemn, disconsolate indi-
viduaIs, who looked appealingly to the colo
mel.
'sMack'll tell you how twas, fellers," said
the colonel, meekly, "while l picket the
mare"
The colonel was absent but very few
moments. but when he returned each of the
four was attired in pistols and knives,
while Mack was distributing some dominoes
made from rather dirty flour sack.
sBetter be an hour ahead than miss in
this ere night" said one of the four. II
amt been SO thirsty sinceI came round the
horn in 80, an we run short of water
Somebody'll get hurt if there amt any Bit
tiers in the old concern; they will. or my
name amt Perkins,"
Don't count on your chickens fore
they're Matched, Perky said one of the
crowd, as he adjusted the domino under the
rim of his hat. sSposin' there should be too
many of us?"
s.Stiddy, stiddy, Cranksp' demonstrated
the colonel. Nobody ever gets along eff they
low themselves to be skeerd."
'Fact," chimed in the smallest and thin.
nest man in the party. "The Bible says
somethin' mighty hot bout that. disre--
member dzactly how it goes, but I've heard
Parson Buzzy, down to Maine, preach rip
PIN old sermon many time. The old
man never thort what comfort them SER
mons wuz agoin to be to road agent, though.
The time we stopped Sam Mikes stage and
he didn't have no more manners than 10
draw on me, them sermons wuz perfect
blessing to me--the thorns of 'em cleared
my head as quick as cocktail. An
81 don't want to disturb Logroller's pious
strain" interrupted the colonel, "but ez it's
Old Black that's arrivin' today instead OF
Sam Mike, and eZ IL " u Dldch diiei .
makes his time hadn't we better vamoose?,'
The door of the shanty was hastily closed
and the men filed through the thicket until
near the road, when they marched rapidly
on in parallel lines with it. After about a
half an hour Perkins, who was leading, hal
ted, and wiped his perspiring brow with bis
shirt sleeve.
''Tain't no use being a gentleman, If yer
have TO work too hard"
"Safe enough, Ireckon,' replied the colonel.
"We'l do the usual; Pil half 'em; Logroller
tend to the driver; Cranks, take the boot,
and Mack and Perk, take right and left. An
l know it's tough-but considering how ever
lastin' eternal hard up we are, reckon we'll
have to ask contributions from the ladies, too,
eff there's any aboard; Ell, boysg"
% Reckon so," replied Logroller, with a
chuckle that seemed to inspire even his black
domino with merry wrinkle or two; whats
the use of women's rights eff they don't ever
have chance of exercs'n 'em, havin' their
purses borrowed 'ud show 'em the full doc
trine in bran new light"
.tCome, come, boys" interposed the col
onel, .'thars the crack of Old Blacks whip;
pick up yer bush, quick! And jump when
whistle"
Each man secreted himself by the road
side. The stage was swinging along hand
somely; those inside were laughing heartily