The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1881-03-09

An Oh manu- TtIitdIk--i Po7P.
4 broken bank-the snow bank.
Fools alone are Injured by education.
The best dressing for tnrkeys-feathers.
Uniform excellence-we troops.
The best kind Of liver pad-buckwheat
cakes.
One repeater i'm the recent Philadelphia
charter election voted twenty-four times for
s25
II playing-cards should 90 out. many a
young mans efforts at obtaining an educa-
ton will have become utterly wasted.
The foreign Counts who favor this country
with their society have diplomacy enough
TO stand the landlords off for their board.
Ii must have been just this kind Of
winter when the prodigal son returned, and
the old man ran and fell upon his knees. "
There is nothing marvellous about curing
by laying on hands. Hands laid on smartly
and vigorously have cured many small boys
OF badness.
Nature abhors a vacuum That is the
reason there are 80 many fools in the world.
Dame Nature was bound TO fill up with
something.
Hugh Ross convinced "A Jury ut Corunna
Mich, that he had lost his wife's affection
through false representations by her father,
and got 81, 500.
| \ gravestone in n Woonsocket cemetery
bears, besides the ordinary inscriptions, the
words. This stone is not paid for" cut in
by the irate maker
You can't judge a man by appearances
any more than you can stand before look
ing glass with your eyes shut and tell how
you look when asleep.
| a great many OF us are like the ingenious
boy whose proud mother said he had Just
-. 81
enough left TO make another.
A party OF Englishmen are to make a tour
OF this country next summer on bicycles.
We give timely notice, in order that the
shot-guns may be in perfect order.
! Commenting ON DIR. Gordon Holmes adj
/ vice 10 singers 10 wear flannel, contempO-
rary urges that in many cases the best place
/ for it would bc over the mouth and care
fully doubled.
Chaplain Allen of the Maine Legislature
prayed as follows while a total abstinence
measure was under consideration: go Lord,
we thank Thee that hardly a dog, 50 to
speak, is against the onward march of this
1 glorious cause
Some Springfield boys formed secret So
ciety for the removal of metal knobs from
front doors. All the ornamented brass
knobs were missed from the Court House
and found in iunkman's shop. This led
to the dissolution of the society.
A young fellow once offered to kiss
Quakeress. Friend" quoth she. thee
must not do it," "Oh. but by Joye,
must" said the youth. We'll, friend, rs
thee hast sworn, thee may do it, but thee
must not make a practice of il"
Sara Bernhardt appeared at Mobile in a
small, dilapidated han, on stage devoid of
scenery. Ii was here that she became i'll i'm
the midst of the performance, and was COM
PEELED to retire Perhaps the primitive sur
roundings affected her sensitive nature.
Its said that absence conquers love"
quoted husband in writing home TO his
wife, from whom he had been some time
away II hope, dear, il won't be so in your
case" "Oh, no." she replied in her next
letter, ''the longer you stay away the better
like you"
\ foreigner in New York this season says
that the revelation of feminine charms at
balls and parties seems to keep pace with
years The blooming debntante is, ordi-
narily, fairly well covered, while the
sprightly sexegenarian seems utterly re-
gardless Of cold.
go, Edward said fond young wife, a.
she leaned on her husbands manly shoulder
and toyed with his auburn tresses, ''let Us
be buried i'm one grave" Yes dearest,
replied the dealer in stocks, shall tell the
undertaken to come mp and measure us now
or wait until tomorrow
At Land League meeting in Ireland the
other day an imprisoned speaker was thus
2 declaiming: Our Creator gave the land TO
. man for his own. He gave it first Ia
Adam "Arrah, be asy about Adam.
interrupted a voice from the crowd. adam
was eyicted widout compensashin.'
4 New Orleans man lately cabled to 8
friend in Cuba: Send me one or two
: monkeys The reply came back: shipped
{ you Seventy-five; will send the rest as soou
as can be found" The telegram had gone;
'Send me l02 monkeys" The balance oi
twenty-seyen have been countermanded.
Barker went into hat store a few days
ago. What do you ask for those hats by
, the dozen?" he inquired OF the merchant
: The price was given, and satisfied therewitl
! Barker exclaimed, "All right I'll take d
twelfth of a dozen" The hat man ''tum
: bled." and Barker wears a hat bought al
wholesale rates.
There is nothing like being accurate in
ones statements After a poor fellow had
/ been run over and killed by a locomotive
! very bad motivefor going outof the world
. by the way-a paper announcing the faci
p said that the man was very unlucky for ht
. had met with a very similar accident only
$ few months before.
s An Illinois man was arrested and fined
: S25 for disturbing debating Club. The
g Court held that the question: (Which car
4 you hurt yourself most with, a hornet or
D wasp?n should have been decided by debate
4 and not by his letting a lot of specimens o
l each kind of insect loose in the hall. =
e people could compare the two aud Judge.
An old man rapidly acquired S30.OOt
q worth of property at McGregor. la. Feel
ing that he would soon die, he wrote letter
l. to his relatives i'm the East. soliciting aid t
/ carry him through hard winter. The ONLY
( response was from niece, who sent hin
i $50 out Of her earnings as a school teacher
: and to her be has left the entire estate.
il Galveston News: ssYou look SO happ,
5 that | suppose you have been to the DENTS
is and had that aching tooth pulled?' said
d Galveston man to friend with swolleI
e jaw. 1T amt that that makes me lool
z happy. The tooth aches worse than ever
IS but don't feel it," 'sHow is that" well
Is l feel so jolly because I have just been t.
&c the dentist and he was out" and the happ,
a man cut pigeon-wing on the sidewalk.
5 Types are terribly demoralizing thing
2 sometimes. How engaging it must be for
u poet. one who has been inflated with tn
II divine ether, TO write poem on ''The An
y gels Whisper" and have il appear as 9TH
e Angels Whiskeri". A refined lady also re
peats the story of her martyrdom in thes
n sad words:
= When | talked Of the dew drops on freshly blow
II roses,
Il It came out next morning freshly blown
- nOSeS.'