The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1881-09-07
LITTLE IoHNEY's ANECDOTES.
He Tells Numerous stories AbOut Nunaq
ana Ind NJ Anas1.aaIa-

! He Tells Numerous stories About Nunaez-
Kinds Of Animals.
Possums has tobacco pouches on the
! stomach. and one time there was pos
| sum which was a show A teller come to
see the show, and ne had bunch of fire
crackers, cause it was the Fourth of July.
! The Teller he took one off and put it in
his mouth, and then he Lit one of the
others and held 'em out to the 'possuIn,
and said: "Have you cigarette?" The
! possum it snatched 'em, and crammed
'em in its pounch, and wank its eyes,
and said: ''Now, you can jest wistle for
your old cigarettes, for am regular
savings bank, I am.
But bimeby the crackers they went of
! wild. and you never seen seech busted
bank like that possum.
My uncle Ned had a possum which
was pet, and he had little music-box
| too. but my sisters young man be plays
the fiddle and Sammy Doppy he can
crow like roosters. One day the piano
was moved out of the parlor, and Uncle
Ned he wound up the music-box and
looked the other way, and the possum it
sneaked up and put the music-box in the
tobacco pouch of its belly, playin' the
Sweet BY and By real nice. Then Uncle
Ned he went into the kitchen and called
Mary, the housemaid, and said: ''Mary,
you go in the parlor and tell your mis-
tress when she gets done playin' the
piano would like to see her.
Bimeby Mary she comes running
back, wife like sheet, and said: ooh,
if you please, sir, that nasty cat of yOu'rn
has ct the pianner.
And now I'll tell you a little story
about snakes. When Mr.. Pitcheu was
missionary preacher in Africa he seen
natiff nigger trying for to catch long
snake Mr.. Pitchell he said "What
do you mean to take that teller in your
hands?" The natif niger said he did,
if his gods was willing that he should
get tail hold Mister Pitchell he said:
F'Ain't them kind of snakes pizen?" and
the niger said: Eve ct ten this morn
ing, and feel pretty well, Mebby they
would pizen me if I was greedy like
hogs.
4 other time wien Mister Pitche1 was
there natif niger which was the King
he said to him: ''You come to the pal
lace next Sunday and preach to us poor.
converted heathens and I will have
mighty good dinner ready for you when
you have got done" So Mister Pitchell
he went and preached, and while he was
preachin' he kept q smellin' the dinner
which was being boiled mighty nice, and |
every time he smelt it he stopped to get |
a good Whit of it. Bimeby the King he |
got mad and he said ''You just go on
with the preach. It amt nobody but |
that galoot Sambo Caesar. He was al |
ways a sooffin' while he was alive, and |
now the garn dasted inhdel pushes up |
the pot lid for to interrupt our devo-
ionsp
If I Was King I would take my big
sawOrd and cut ali the wicked intidels'
heads of, yes, indeed, but when you cut
q hens head off the preacher he comes
next day and eats her. Hens lay eggs
crows when he thinks hissef a better
fighter than a other rooster, but the
teller on the new steeple he don't crow,
and if he could lay eggs they would be
Ill busted. Eggs Is incest with ham and
sossidge and buckwheat cakes, and
whole apple pie all for your own self.
8iddad, that's the new dog, he likes cold
apple dumplings, but Towser that's the
log died, he had wort OH his nose.
The dog is the king OF beasts, but
makes is more like eels. My sisters
7oung man says one time in Indy there
vas man had to travel a long jurney on
cot, and SO he hired snake-charmer to
protect him, cos the snakes there is a
mighty bad lot So the man and the
harmer they started, and after they had
zone about mile the charmer he stOpt
nd said: 81 guess it's about time for
ne to begin a earning my money" So
Le took foot out of his close and began
o play q tune, and pretty soon soma
makes craWled out of the grass for to see
THAT was up. And bimeby some more
ONE and stood around too, till after a
lille there was bout thousan' hundred
ig pizen snakes all around EN- and the
IAN was frightened most to death.
hen the charmer put away his foot and
aid: 'You can't find any fault with
UGH charmin' as that, guess, can you?
low, if you are ready to go on jest
other a club and wade in, and If we are
, fortunate as to get through we will
ome pretty soon to a jungle where you :
IN hire a cousin of mine, which can
harm lions and taggers."