The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1881-06-17
HASH.
There was bright youngster named Jack,
On his dear mothers chnir placed tack,
She arose.. with "Yipp

~
Then grabbed the young chip,
| Ana warmed him down under his back"
A brass band that is all one piece-A
dogs collar.
A money lender has considerable in.
terest at stake.
A corn dodgcr-a man who avoids
wearing tight boots.
Fame is like pig with CREASED
taill-hard TO hang on 10.
"Fine feathers do not make fine BIRDS"
but they certainly do make fine beds.
1t Is true that the crow is thief, and
steals The farmers corn; but IL is not
without caws.
A young lady at q ball called her
beau an Indian, because he was on her
trail all the time.
A drum is quite an instrument for
producing noise, but a drummer can
beat II all hollow.
The rolling stone gathers no moss,
but II gathers the fellow who rides on
the bycicle, every time.
When young man wants TO protect
young lady he nstnrally puts his armor
round her, Boston Globe.
The fox whose tail was caught in the
trap was one of the first individuals
who "severed his connection.
Perhaps it is the powder on The fair
maidens' sheeks that blasts the hopes of
so many Young men.-Syracuse Stand
ard.
| When is the most dangerous time to
| visit the country? Give it up? When
the trees are shooting and the bullrush-
es out.
A western editor who started news
paper called il the Smallpox, SO that
everybody would take it when they got
where il was.
Base ball is old in the world, as is
proven by the very first line in
"Genesis": In the big inning" &C.
ICincindati Saturday Night.
What is the difference between a
honey comb and honey moon? A honey
comb consists of number of small
cells, while a honeymoon is one big
sell.
"Papa, how do editors get in free at
all the showsr "Well, sonny, as a
general rule, they give five dollars
worth of advertising for twenty-five
cent ticket"
A Detroit saloonist heated half dol
lar red hot and put it on his bar TO see
who would slyly pocket it. Over
twenty men concluded that it didn't
belong TO them.
"Now, Sammy, have you read the
story of Joseph" "Oh, yes, uncle.,
swell, then, what wrong did they do
when they sold their brother2" "They
sold him too cheap"
We have heard considerable about
the habit girls have of sitting on one
leg. It's very bad one, particularly
If the leg doesn't belong to the Young
lady, Hartford Sunday Journal.
"When l was a young man," saws
Billings, ~ was always in a hurry to
hold the big end of the log and do all
the lifting; now am older l seize hold
OF the small end and do the grunting."
Father (who is always trying to teach
his son how to act while at the table):
We'll, Johnny, you see that when have
finished eating l always leave the table,
John: Yes, sir; and that is all you do
leave.'
The last piece of rustic laziness en-
conntered by out of town correspon-
dents is that of a man who being
asked what allied his eye, answered,
"nothing; shut it cos / can see we'll
enough with one. Sometimes l shut
one, sometimes tother."
A youth who attended a Scotch re-
vival meeting for the fun of the thing,
ironically inquired of the minister
"whether he could work q miracle or
not" Theiyoung mans curiosity was
fully satisfied by the minister kicking
him out the church, with the maledic-
ton, 1--WE cannot work miracles, but
we can cast out devils"
You must admit, Jim Webster, that
you stole those pullets, said the Galvss-
ton judge to the culprit. 'Jedge,' re-
sponded jim, Il don't really believe |
stole dem chickens. In de fust place,
jedge nobody saw me take 'em. In the
next place dey could not be found on
my premises, because | had hid dem
chickens under de floor. | can't help
believin', jedge, that is as innocent as
a lamb