The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1881-06-15
VARIETIES.


bread to eat" Lucy, aged four:
"And was the bread buttered,
mother ?"
Mrs. Spaggins was Boosting of her
new house. The windows, she said
were all stained. "That's too bad,
but won't benzine or turpentlne wash
it OFF," asked good Mrs. Oldbody.-
Transcript.
A Galveston widow is about to
marry her fifth husband. Her pastor
rebuked her;for contemplating matri'
mony so soon again. "We ell, just
want you to understand, if the Lord
keeps on taking them l will too,"
was the spirited reply.
Tommy is crying very bitterly.
"What," said his sympathizing sister,
"have they done to you ?" IN 9th
ing" "Did your nurse scold you ?"
mo" Odd Harry strike you !?
"N0" "What then is the matter ?"
81 just feel that Pm going to be bad
to-day, that's all P'-Pdris Figaro.
AS a general rule the wives con-
fide the minutest OF their plans and
thoughts to their husbands. Why
not reciprocate, if but tor the pleasure
OF meeting confidence with conf
dence ? The men who succeed best
in life are those who make contidants
of their wives.
In one of the hotels at Nice is. a
beautiful American, who lately went
to an eat home" in full dress, low.
necked satin, diamonds, etc. On ar
irving and looking around the room
she perceived the other guests to be
deml- toilet. "Well," she said, "if I'd
known that it was only sit around,
I'd. not have put my clothes on
London Truth.
Angry vile (time, 2, A. M.)-"ls
that you, Charles ?''A Jolly husband
"Zash me-" Is W wite-"Here
haxs ! been "a bh he , head DO. o.
how can your" jolly husband,
bracing up-"Shtandin' on your head
on t'shtairs Jenny, Pm saprised !
How can / By Jove, l can't {! Two
hours, too! 'Strornary woman p
Cincinnati Gazette.
Deacon" said widow, as she
heaved long drawn sigh, and softly
raised two tear-bejewelled eyes to
his, "don't you sometimes have a
yearning for the sweet companionship
of a kindred soul to share the joys
and sorrows that walk, twin-like,
with us through all the varied scenes
of life ?" "Well, widow sighed the
old deacon, in reply, "Ive kinder had
yearning all the evenin" but l
thought maybe it was them cold
beans 1 eat for supper."-Rochester
Herald.
Little Willie and his older brother
were looking over their collections OF
Christmas cards, photographs, etc,
with view to exchanging duplicates.
"Here is Charles Francis Adams"
said Harry, "do you want it :"
"No," answered Willie, "he was a
bad mad. He stole apples my Sun
day school teacher told me all about
him last Sunday" "rhat wasn't the
man." replied Harry with look of
disgust. 81 don't care" replied
Willie, gathering up his cards, sit is
a bad family. l don't want it,"
Mrs. Browyer ran into the house
to day quite excited and red in the
face, and her husband asked her
what was wrong. Pm a Christian"
she replied, "and J don't like to quar-
rel, but that Mrs. jenkins is just too
much" "Why, what's the matter ?" I
"She insulted me in her own house."
"Did she? And what did you say
back ?" mot a word, 1 just told
her she was mean, tattling, good !
tor-nothing, do less, lazy, slouchy,
slovenly, careless, giddy, silly, CAB
bling, gossiping thing, and all the
neighbors knew it, and nobody liked
her, and wouldn't speak to her if
she didn't belong to our church, and
then came away. l know if | hadn't
controlled my temper I'd have said
something 10 make her mad, and l
oughtn't TO do that Then she flop.
ped down into a chair, and, her hus-
band smiled at her in a queer sort OF
way, aud her lace get redder than
ever, and only her christian patience |
saved her