The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1881-07-30
Communicated
STREET TALK
BY Don.

l have felt anxious for some time past, about
our approaching elections, and the composition
of the next Legislature. Although I am not a
native born subject of the King, and have not
taken an oath of allegiance to His Majesty, and
to support the constitution yet feeling as an
independent Anglo Saxon ought to do in any
part of the world, whose destiny it is to intervene,
protect, or annex wherever he goes, 1 deem it
my duty to look out for the interests of this
Highwayan Kingdom, especially, as I consider
myself as well qualified as the next man TO MI a
subordinate billet, or help to run an administrs-
ton. And moreover l feel that l have some rights
as a tax payer. have paid $500 for the sup
port of a benevolent institution, which would
charge NE 81 .5O a day; if ] should want to go
there; which 1 do not want to do as l can get
better fare with my friends the Harris, for much
less money. 1 have paid $500 chiefly for the
Improvement of the roads, which our ministers
especially use. 1 have paid 50 for schools,
which are nurseries for lawyers and scamps. And
] pay one dollar for my own proper self; and 1
thank the Lord that 1 have got something to pay
for: and feel at the same time, that it is rather
hard on some to pay for their polls; not that
they are g frosty or worn out; but because they
are wooden, and green, and sappy. Well, l feel
Az hbbNN NHS NSNLAAy va - $500
country, stretching from the rice garnished bluffs
Of Hanalei to the lava washed shores Of Hilo. 1
am for economical expenditure, by a fair distri-
button of jobs; for the maintenance of public
integrity by a frequent rotation of Office; and
for the u~ntrammeled independence of those who
can run the country, one and indivisible, now
and forever,
And Mr.. Editor, l am for the largest welfare
of the most self interested parties, and demand
in trumpet tones, that hence forth we shall have
REPRESENTATIVE MEN,
Animated by this spirit and purpose, 1 called
a caucus of citizens at my eight by eight back
shed corner on Alakea street, and beg to report
to you the proceedings of the following meeting.
Smith, and Peter, and handsome Joe, and old
Uncle Jimmy made up with your unworthy,
etc, the intelligent ~quintette who are striving
to save this nation.
Uncle Jimmy took the chair, being the only
one; whilst the meeting Accommodated themselves
on the edges of my bunk and chist.
Smith moved that the planting interest be
represented and that a bill be prepared, pro-
viding that every practical planter with a hoe in
his hand, shall dictate his own pay, rations and
allowances, with suitable leisure and pipes
between rows.
Motion agreed TO, and draft of bill referred to
mover, as committee Of one.
Peter moved that planting agencies should be
fully represented. He, an enlightened citizen
from abroad, had come here on a spec; but
bio ated combinations had kept him on the seedy
edge of very short ommons There should be
a more enlarged opportunity for agencies. He
believed in agencies. 1t maintained the dignity
and refinement of a man, to gather without
labor, the mint drops that oozed ont of the
sweat of another mans brow. And he commended
for the right of not only regular commissions,
but of return commissions five or ten per cent.
as the case may be. In conclusion he exclaimed
in stentorian tones, LET a free, irresponsible
and comprehensive agency be represented :"
1t was moved aud carried, that Peter be placed
on the ticket. as the nominee of the agency
interest.
Handsome Joe who let's ont a couple of drags
on hire, moved that the express business be repre-
scented. He said that there had been great in just
ice done to this important metropolitan interest.
He knew what a horse was; and what q man was
willing to pay in certain exigencies. Said he
as he raised one heel on the edge of fhe bunk,
and with clasped hands Rugged his knee: lis a
man going to stand on q quarter when in a hurry
to see his sweet heart? Or shall a belated steam
er man be denied the privilege of meeting the
liberal views of an enlightened cabby who und-
the exigency? / say, no. Then away
with your express, or cab regulations; and let
the anxious traveller, and the controller of the
means of locomotion adjust the matter in a way
suited to the views of the one who at the time
being is master of the situation ? Let supply
and demand adjust themselves - He moved
that the express interest should be represented.
Motion agreed TO, and Handsome Joe the nom
inee.
Other motions in reference to the represent
alton Of other interests were made and discussed;
till at last Don (your unworthy etc arose from
his squat OH his chist lid; and after a slight
of his handsome curls, (which have
for him the soubriquet of Adonis or
DOM and after loosening up his suspender
straps with his thumbs from of his shoulders, |
spoke as follows:
Gentlemen, and Representatives of High
wayan interests, and of the HighwRyan King
dom-I have listened with much edifcation to
the various presentations and discussions cf