American citizen. [volume] (Canton, Miss.) 1864-1890, 1881-04-30
TWO JOURNALS.
MAURIcE's JOURNAL.

MATRICES JOURNAL
with her, as with a desperate town,
the conSucror. though the walls are down,
Has still to capture. street by street!
Jase Ist.--Yes, that just describes
Gertrude; it is now six months since
she promised to marry me. and she
shrank from naming the day, yesterday,
as if she had never thought of me as q
loveri
l wonder if she loves another?
must be looking out for her cousin, once
removed, DIR. Ronald; she is too much
in the sick room with him.
But what a nurse she isl The old
General, her father, desperate with the
gout; Julia, the hump backed sister,
always in pain. and Mrs. Delaplaine.
her mother. What is the constant mat
ter with her? She tainted the other
day in my arms, and as she came to she
remarked, "You see my arms uncon-
sciously stretch toward Greenwood"
For my part l acknowledgements,
that is very wicked, as towards Ger
trude's mother, but fear that she is a
pretender. Gertrude, young, straight,
fair, tall and beautiful, nurses them all!
And lives for them. Gertrude, whom
l want to carry over to the London
season; Gertrude, whom I would dress
like a queen; Gertrude, who shall be
"my queen" refuses to leave these
complaining invalids. and says, "Mats-
rice, my duty"
Now, if women are in love, do they
think of duty? Has she no duty to me?
The General and Mrs. Delaplaine are
on my side. They wish her to marry
me. They are poor, and am rich. I
have more than limited that if Gertrude
becomes my wife, they shall never
know this pinching poverty again.
Gertrude seemed fond of me at first,
although she never pretended to be
much in love. did not ask that. 1
am not q progressing person. / am
an inch shorter than she is, and I have
stubby red hands. l dare say am pie
bcIan IN uPpc-rancc.- a - 80
But Gertrude is woman to look be-
yond mans face, and l believe that
she knows am not a vulgar man at
heart l am convinced that she re-
spects me. What is that curious thing
which people call fascination?
Let me ask myself. Do / want to
marry my cousin Lydia? She loves me,
good girl. She would make me an ex-
cellent wife, But do not want her. 1
should never wish to enter the room
where she was. If she were the mis-
tress of my house l would go anywhere
else
Is it possible that Gertrude feels
toward me as 1 do toward Lydia? Yes,
more than possible! She loves the
handsome, black-eyed, sauve, gentle,
elegant DIR. Ronald.
And yet l UiU marry her. Yes, 1
will capture street by street," she
shall marry mel
A letter from Lydia! VIII that girl
never let me alonei-hum does
she sayP That she saw Gertrude alone
with Ronald, in Beta Wood, weeping.
So she means to inspire me with dis
trust Oh! Lydia, how little you knew
that you had added fuel to the fire. l
could have given her up before-now
viii never give her up!
GERTRUDE's JOURNAL.
June 3d.-Maurice was here last
said yes! talked to mamma the night
before rs 1 rubbed her aching ankles,
and told my whole heart-dilemma-
how / loved Ronald and almost hated
Maurice; that had given my promise
most unwillingly at first; that his kind
ness had partly won me, but afterwards
was too much thrown with Ronald in
our various sick-rooms; that l learned
really to love him as l knew him better
and better.
She was very severe, and called my
love for Ronald a "crime." She said
that for poverty to wed poverty, with
such burdens as he and L both had to
bear, was wicked appropriateness"
and she claimed that my promise to
Maurice was binding.
"But," said I, iii / could appeal to
his generosity to let me ofi?''
eff you do, Gertrude, you will kill me
and your father and Julia, that is ALL"
said mamma
made one more appeal.
Mamma" said 1, "you will have
Ronald and myself as you have now, for
nurse and physician, only bound by a
stronger tie"
Nor said mamma, weeping, 81
cannot bear Konald's mother. She is a
selfish visionary, and shall tell him so
sometime. If you marry him you shall
never speak to me again Go away.
Gertrude, / do not wish you to rub me
any more; let my poor ankles ache, you
have made me much worser'
1 kissed her and babe her good night,
then went to papa.
He was furious because his usual dose
of colchicum had been delayed.
81 ought to have a servant" said he.
Poor papal he ought, indeed
/ arranged his cushions, gave him his
dose. and sat down to try to talk to him,
but he interrupted me.
Now, Gertrude, Il it is any question
about breaking off your engagement to
Maurice, let me say to you that 1 con-
slider, when a daughter of mine has
given her word, that she dishonors her
name and mine by breaking it,
But papa, 1 do not love him.
"Who the duce cares whether you do
or not" said papa, who is severe some-
times and violent. 81 was in love with
your mother and ran away with her;
we have been poor. miserable and I'M
congenial ever since. II there is a good
sign for your future happiness. i. is that
you are not in love with Maurice. Now
you have spoiled my nights rest-so
please shut my door,
/ heard papa swearing to himself all
the way as went down stairs.
Julia called TO me as l passed her
door.
"Oh, Gertrude" said she, IAN india
rubber bed do for the love of mercy get