The Magnolia gazette., 1881-09-23
THE ARKANsAw KIND.

'Gpehhlh bout tut hlhNhFoM aBSAt
said the man with the sandy goatee and
'equlnt eyes as be leaned back 10 his
chair, "that's Ehar you saw heart,
'ptriugs. in case I've got any left 70 sawI
on"
"Did you ever live there2'
"D.d |? "Well | reckon I sort u
existed III them parts goiu' on thirteen
y are"
"And YOU had the ague?'
Had III Why, wallered in il,
Gentlemen gaze IN mel
The crowd gazetl.
when moved down into Arkansaw
from Tennessee, risiu Of sixteen y'ars
ago, l waa purty--I was, for 4 fact /
lad dpzen sklle marns in love with
me % once, and hang me MP, il every,
/ gal III tile ball room wonld't break her
meek fur the honor of damon with me.
Yes, was purity and waa good. ! was
80 pnrty that children cried for me, and
40 good That | was tax fur preacher
OF morU'n hundred occashuns. Whar
has my purity gomez Whar is my good
ness? Good Why, I've got 70 be the
'infernalist alligator in the hull swamp,
. and Tin grown meaner At the rate Of q
mile day? Fact--sulemu fact, and
/ that cantaukerous ager is 70 blame fur
ithe hull Of it, I've got squint to my
geyes, my nose has lin driven back an
siuch, and what teeth I've got left have to
4 be wedged in very Sunday with pine
gpegs or Ill awallow'em. Purtyl Why,
the sight Of my phiz down in 81. Louis
killed Texas steer dead'ru door nail,
and was tryin' to look handsome al
sthnt!"
y lyon aaii yon had the agne. i"
4 aSAid so d. yon spose oil the othe'
gcalnmities III this hull koutry could haye
shnsted me up this way? You Eet | had
5s'trl l struggled with 'er right along fui
Eleven straight yars without . let up
!. s.Gentlemen, let me harrer yonr souIl
with few timely remarks Your Michi
Sgan ager IL grass-hopper, and one dos'
5of XIV neen knocks 'er dead. Ont il
SIlliney the ager is bigger-abont like !
gtquirrel. Ii Missouri she's about th'
3size u wuad,cliuch, and when sh,
sIstrickes down into Arkansaw she vol
Itlree feet long, ana built to take hul,
4hke 8 thousand bu2S saws. Gtent slams
8but what tussles l We had with that eli
ScFitter say, did 70 even ride III one
Nhuss wagon over 4 stone quarry? Wa
sye ever seated on the top rail Of fenc
4when hurricane moved il 1T the rats o
ssl1 miles minti Did Sc ever have
8cyclone pick ye up and mop Sc over FOR
Ety acrcs of riser b tom, wollop u
Stlrough ten acres ~ woods and use "
afor tool to knock down hundred acre
HI cane. br.kt? Well, Tint ham't Iii
Aager--no. the Arkansas kind; its OIL.
Sthe fnst faint preliminmirs.
He stopped to relight his cigar an,
%theu c3ntmRed
n II haiut long 70 live. ana don't kee
Ito stretch this thing. Ielln the trutl
mas allns bin my pint, nnd allus Will he
u Maybe yell git some idea of the Atkau
sas agrr wten ten ye that once MI
silnt.d both shonllersin shakein', md /
4 was a light SHAKE at that When l hpi
$one Of my feRulnr double back actiol
.3rhakes ! canld jar 4 Jug Of whisky out 0
Sthe crotch II tree twenty eight rodsoti
3 Nobody dust pile up cord wood within
Ahalf mile Of my cabin, and that's
Il ssolemn fact. deyonrei ky-neeu just a
&you eat corn beef, md ny huh system
sS6ually got ho bitter that a log VIII
ssmelt of my leg couldn't git tile pucke
9out Of lis mouth inside Of ten days
sGentltmen, | do not wish 70 prolon
Xthis agony. My failin il CAB. Fust
&kuow I'll jump tile ag ana begin d
N &Arkansas tkeetcrs, aud when ! got tia
4I'd harror yer souls till ye couldn't slee
sfor two weeks, We will nov have som
Slicker and win then seek few needle
.reposeo. "-D Detroit Free Press