The Emporia weekly news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1881-1889, 1881-09-22
MR.. AND MRS. sPooPENDyKE.

| They Wrestie WITH a Saratoga Trunk
My dear said Mrs Spoopendyke, a
| she arose from her knees, hot ana tired
| packing, and rubbing the small of heI
| back as she Strengthened up, i am all
through now, and ! wish you would
| lock this trunk"
Certainly. replied Mr.. Spoopendyde,
! dropping his paper, and hammering
down the lid. "AIl you have to do is
Just fit the hasp in the lock, and simply
| turn the key around. So.'
But the key didn't quite turn, and Mr.
| Spoopendyke hit the hasp with his fist
and tried il again
"Don't it work q asked Mrs. SpoOpen-
dyke. watching the proceedings with
very great interest.
It'll work If you'll let if alone" said
Mr.. Spoopendyke severely, and he raised
the lid, dropped il again and wrenched
at the key with all his strength. Stand
back and give NE Toom, can you:" he
growled as he pressed down on the COW
er and gave the key quick twist, in a
vain effort to catch the lock unawares.
"Why don't you rest your weight on
the trunk and let me lock it % asked
Mrs. Spoopendyke, fluttering around
her husband ana wondering ii he was
aware that his plug hat was immedi-
ately under the lid.
Have YOU got the time to keep away
from this and me work it," demanded
Mr. SpoopeHdyke, contemplating his
wife with IA Spartan expression of Wis
age. "S'pCse | can do anything with
you sitting on my elbOS? If you'll go
down cellar a minute I'll lock this
trunk and Mr.. Spoopendyke banged
away at the hasp and brealhed exceed
ingly hard. But his best efforts could
ta1r Eaty half
''Oh! amt | glad you couldn't lock
it!' exclaimed Mrs Spoopendyke, anx-
ious 10 stay her husbands growing
wrath, Il forgot to put in your cane"
bod CAST the cane" sputtered Mr..
Spoopendyke. ''S'pose its going TO lock
any easier with a dod gasted walking
cane sticking ont at one end? Who
says | can't lock il? Whats The reason
l can't lock it:' and lie stood Off and
fetched the hasp tremendous kick.
Anything else you have forgotten 10
put in % and he sprang on the lid and
tugged at the key with his head thrown
back and teeth set. Got couple Of
mirrors sou want in here? Any china
around the house thai wants ride in
this trunk Want to put in that dod
gasted ass on the top floor who tries to
play the fiddle? ~ and he Topped Off onto
the floor and banged at the hasp again.
Let me set on it," suggested Mrs. s.,
climbing up without waiting for re-
spouse. Nov try it"
Mr. SpoOpendyke fumbled around
and worked at the hasp fruitlessly.
Cant We sit any harder than that?
he yelled as the key stuck and woulda't
turn either way. "Fraid of breaking
the measly thing? Press down a little
bit harder, can't yes'
G,NnnnnnHx.l-n .aI arniYph
and said mo dear" and then looked
over to see how he was getting along
Still the lock was obdurate.
"Dod CAST the measly thing" howled
Mr.. Spoopendyie, firing the key out of
The window and giving the trunk a fare
we'll kick. If you want it locked you
get Il locksmith and n steam derrick"
and Mr.. Spoopendyke dropped into
chair and buried himself in his paper.
II don't know how you are going to
get it opened said Mrs. Spoopendyke,
after long silence.
Get what opened?" growied Mr..
Spoopendykc.
The trunk. Now | remember, its
the key out it locked itself / don't
suppose we can ever find the key"
That's it." yelled Mr.. Spoopendyke.
"You know all about it now! Why.
didn't you tell me it was a spring lock
What dye keep it TO yourself for gu
Il forget about III" whimpsred Mrs.
spoopendye, 'hut it will be ail right. I
"Oh, you can open itl'' sndIted Mr..
Spoopendyke. you're an Opener! All
you want is to be sharpenedA on both
sides to be an oyster knife! with. a
dark lantern and skull cap You would
be whole set of BURGLARS toblsi Oh,
yes, you'll open it! Ifyou had loose
handle and the corner kicked oH, you'll
get rich as screw driver! hnd Mr..
Spoopendyke tore out of the house to see
if he could borrow something to pry
open the unfortunate trunk.
That gives me time 10 na&k the va
lise," murmured Mrs. Spo5pendyke,
land as have got another key TO the
trunk, we'll do pretty well, after ALL"
and the worthy lady began to jam night
shirts and hair oil into The bags, togeth-
er with sandwiches and tooth-brushes,
wondering betime whether Mr.. Spoopen-
kyke's silk hat had been SO badly
mashed that ii wouldn't do to go fish
ing in on rainy days, even if it didn't
look well enough for Sunday.-Brooklyn
Eagle