The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1881-03-02
Can celibacy be Excused /?

SO many and so UNIFORM are the
houilics uttered by tongue and pen
on the beauty and BENSON of mar
riage lat the inference is emphasiz-
ed tha' celibacy is without compen-
sation. Young men are continual
ly advised and urged, privately and
publicly, TO take wife. the suppo-
sition being, whether erroneous or
not, tha young women are willing
to be tax , under almost any cir
cumstan :. The postulate that
marriage Is always desirable is OBJ
viously false. Ii is only desirable
when such conditions exist for and
between the couples as are far from
common, and frequently unattain-
able The prospect of connublal
misery would seem to be quite as
good as the prospect of connubial
happiness, and no amount of fore
sight or discretion will insure any
pair against sharp disappointment
and bitter discomfort. Everybody
is aware of this-it is little less than a
truism-and yet on all sides preach
ments resound in favor of universal
matrimony.
Are the preachers malignants in
disguise? BY no means. They are
benevolent enough, but they talk
without knowledge and advise with
out experience. They think because
marriage is natural, that it must be
beneficial, when its possible benefit
depends solely upon the natural fit
ness of those who undertake it, and
on the character of their surround
in2s. They advocate the conjugal
lottery without remembering its
numberless blanks, as they are call
ed, though coniugal blank is some
ting much worse. When prize is
not drawn, woe is very likely to
come in its stead. Celibacy is a
thousand times better than an in
harmonious marriage, and certainly
safer than the most promising union.
Celibacy Ia at worst only an absence
OF potential comforts and joys; mar
riage at worst is the sum of human
wretchedness, and, as it usually is,
is very different from the romantic
notions formed of it. From its su-
preme reality, its inevitable matter
of fact, its endless prosaic details, it
il as far as il can be from the ideal.
1t has its advantages.of course, and
many of them, when it is propitious
but it has, under the most favorable
circumstances its disadvantages also.
Much may be said in its behalf,
though the fairest life ever turned to
the sun has its shadowed side
So with celibacy. A deal of CEN
sure may be pronounced upon it.
and rightly; but it has its recam-
pense. Many persons do not wish
TO be married, and more-general.
IL those anxious to be married,
are not fit for the state Good wife
hood and husbandship is not In
herited by birth nor does it apper-
tain to the multitude. Those who
cannot live alone, cannot as a rule
live together, Connuhial adapta
ton is evidence of self discipline, Of
forbearance, of individuality. Tht
best of wives and the best of hus
bands are doubtless they who, witt
variation of their destiny. would
have been model maidens and model
bachelor. Nor is it probable thai
many who have been the mobiles
patterns of welded domesticity are
to-day enjoying themselves lp singh
blessedncsl,
While it may be truthfully said
that women in general would pre-
fer to be married if they could b,
happily married-a very momen
tous. though seldom considered
hypothesis-there are many mel
who have no desire to be husbands
much less fathers of a family, under
the most favorable circumstances
Albeit matrimony presses far more
weightiiy ON women, involves twic'
the responsibility, care and anxiet.
that it has for men, they are much
readier to accept it, from constitu
ional proolivity, from ardent hope
fulness, from capacity to believ'
what they are eager to believe, from
an overhowing sense of its Dropriety
from sort of consciousness that II
is a duty they owe to themselve.
and society at large. Matrimony
moreover, furnishes, presumably
support and material independence
and while it diminishes their liberty
on one side it increases their liberty
on the other. They are apt to bt
always in a state oftute!ase they arr
accustomed to prompting and guild
ance; they wish and need somebody
to lean on, TO be their counselor
companion, director, friend, and G
husband is the best person, on the
whole, if he be worthy, TO discharge
these functions. Indeed, a husband
is, as life and society are at present
ordered, essential TO the roundness
and fullness of a woman's existence
Men have not the same motives
or the same feelings for wedlock
that women have. Their instinct
toward the other sex has no neces.
sary connection with conjugality
Some, in fact a great many, men are
positively and by temperament anti.
domestic-haying no liking for, and
grateful associations with home
Wife and children afford no pleas
ant images--the very opposite, in
truth-and all the arguments EN-
ployed in behalf of marriage are, to
their mind argument against it.
Fer such men to become husbands,
as they often do from stress of cir
cumstances, from iho dictates OF
chivalry, from inexplicable causes,
is always unfortunate; for, though
he may be loyal and dutiful, they
never are, as they know, all that they
should be. Even men domestic by
nature and training must feel that
they loose something by marriage.
If they carry out their coyenent
with any strictness they will he de-
prived of large share of their free
dom, and freedom is dearer to men,
certainly to Americans than any