Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1881-11-03
Odds and Ends.

MANY DOlu lell0W mas Oeen DoWle(
out by the .sfiowing bowl"
Iftime is money, why isn't note a
four months as good a. cash?
Man born Of women is Of few days an,
full Of schemes to get his name in print
More sympathy with Ireland. Tn
Indianapolis police have got into Corl
helmets.
Four hundred people are employed IL
the Philadelphia mint, and all are max
ing money.
Wendell Phillips and Gladstone are
out, but Gladstone is not yet aware o.
the rupture.
President Arthur is said to have as.
tonishing firmness. Mr.. Arthur il
not in matrimony.
Who says it Is unhealthy to sleep in
feathers? Look at the spring chicken
and see how tough he is.
Politics make strange bed-fellows
The man who gets in with David Da'
Wis will have q nice time.
All men who enter bar-rooms are
not wicked. Many enter solely to
commune with the spirits.
Many Grsenback meetings are being
held in Pennsylvania. It is always
pleasant to meet Greenback.
Macaulay used to talk about "idiots
and biographers," but that was before
Gen. Badeau went into business.
A medical journal says that bed-bug
bites cure rheumatism. There il no
rheumatism in Cincinnati hotels.
A ten-ounce baby has just appeared
in Maryland, the State that produced
David Davis. She exhausted herself
on Dave.
Man born Of woman is of few days
and full of desire to assist some rich
father-in-law to squandsr his quarterly
dividends.
Money often leads men astray. Some
of them will run after dollar; but
hound dogis more avaricious. He will
follow o scent.
The Boston Globe asserts that when
Joaquin Miller misses his name from
the papers for day or two he has him.
self arrested for libel.
A party of San Juan ranchers made
bonfire Of an Apache Indian, and the
Coroner's jury returned verdict Of
Overcome by the heat"
A man who goes up in balloon and
comes down all right is called pro-
lessor. A man who goes up and
comes down all wrong is called -
fool.
Gold is judged of its fineness by COM
parison with karat, the human heart
is measured by the beat, and some
heads are suggestive of the gentle cab
bage.
The best nown remedy for that state
of nervous exhaustion which is the re-
suit of severe mental or physical labor
or other excuses, is LEIs' DANDELIoN
Tonic.
All that il needed to sell mining
stock is water-oolored map, two piec-
% Of ore purchased at jewelers., and
. man with cheek and q fool with
money.
Mr.. Strauss, Of Cincinnati. recently
rescued two friends who fell into the
water, thus proving the truth of the
old saying-"Drowning men catch at
Strauss"
An exchange speaks of a male train
The sex of trains has always been a
matter Of some doubts; bat a train
should not be callei a male because it
smokes and "choos.'
BAILEY's SALINE APERIENr is j
q cooling and refreshing summer
drink for dyspeptics. It don't taste
like medicine. Everybody, home or
abroad, should keep it.
No man can 20 into bad company
without suffering for it. The homely
old proverb hasit very tersely, IA man
can't bite the bottom out of a frying pan
without smutting his nose.'
Thirty thousand more Americans
have been to Europe this year. With
thirty thousand additional tongues
contributing the "Yurrup" racket, So
ciety will have nice time this win
ter.
A certain handsome Boston actor re-
Gently said to his valet: "I'm going to
stay with Tom tonight. Take such
things as I may want to his ROOM"
And the valet took anight dress, tooth
brush and corkscrew.
Pa always has come down. A Chi
cago father advertises: eff Moses and |
Aaron Hoffiin will inform their father I
Of their whereabouts. he will send their
winter clothes; or, if they want to come
home, all will he forgiven.