The Northern Pacific farmer. [volume] (Wadena, Minn.) 1878-1885, 1881-01-20
Husband Tanning.

In pleasant little village in Connecticut
there lived fifty years since, lawyer who
was Familiarity known among his fellow
townsmen as Norwood Munson, sobri-
quet which sufficiently epitomises his char
acter. He lived in a large, old fashioned
house, before which dismal Lombardy pop
lars stood like woe-begone sentinels, while
behind, beyond the garden, lay private
burying ground, in which were deposited
the mortal remains of three wives whom the
lawyer had worried from this world to the
next, by abuse and ill-temper.
When Munson brought to domicile a
fourth wife, the tongues of the village Cos
sips wagged right merrily, rehearsing the
scandles, the title tattle, and the yaracious
history of the lawyers relations to his de-
parted spouses. Nor did they neglect their
duty in the matter of pouring into the ears
| Of the bride all this choice assortment of
scandal. Mrs. Munson, the fourth, was q
brisk, determined little body, for whom the
lawyer was obliged to 60 all the way to Bos-
ton his name and fame being somewhat too
unsavery to allow his securing a wife near
er home. She received all the communi-
cations of her of6cious neighbors with little
remark, but with certain firm closing Of
the lips, and determined snap of the eyes,
which BODIED little good to the man who
should attempt to impose upon her.
She had not long to wait. One morning,
not three weeks after marriage, WormWood,
who believed in taking time by the forelock,
attempted to correct his spouse with pref
ty little willow switch. TO his great aston
ishment- he had been in the habit of
marrying meek women-Mrs. Munson re-
fused to be logged. She argued that moth
ing in the marriage articles gave her hus-
| 1o,, 7rsr1f RI ~
wordy quarrel the newly married pair agreed
to separate off-hand.
The belongings of Mrs. Munson had come
from Boston in one of those enormous
trunks in use at that time, and in this she
began to replace them.
Norwood stood by regarding with sus-
picious eyes every article that went in, fear
full lest some trifle of his own might be car
ried away by his departing bride, from time
to time examining the trunk to assure him.
self that everything was right.
His wife was plucky, brisk and strong.
He was tall, lean and slow. AS he stopped
over the great chest, she tripped his heels,
and in he went head first, the lid being clos
ed over him before he knew what was the
matter. In vain he swore and 1aved; in
vain he implored and threatened, his wife
only begged him not to overexcite himself,
and merrily trpped away to the kitchen and
the pantry.
Never had the house of the miser known
such a brewing and baking. The wizened
spiders in the corners actually swelled visib-
bly,, fattened by the toothsome odors pervad-
ing the air. Flaky pastry, puffy cakes,
spicy dishes-the eyes of the half-starved
kitchen maid started from her head until
she seemed to be in danger of loosing them
altogether; and when she was sent to invite
the village gossip to tea she ran from house
to house delivering incoherent messages in
which her errand and rapturous descriptions
of the viands preparing were about equally
mixed.
Much might be told of the feasts that fol-
lowed, but what concerns us mainly is the
fact that instead of being served upon the
table it was laid upon the great chest, with
in which still lay the wretched lawyer. And
oh! the scandals, the gossip, the censures
that the unhappy listener heard concerning
himself. Truths more bitter than his nick
name we're unstintedly poured upon him,
and all his cruelty to his former wives re-
hearsed with such junction as only village
gossips can bestow.
| Without the trunk was gayety, and things
unspeakably good to eat. Within, the. law
yer CRASHED his teeth in lmpotent rage un-
til he could endure it no longer, but knock
ed on the lid and demanded to be let out
CONSERVATION upon the part of the guests,
but calmness in the hostess, who proceeded
in the coolest manner to dictate terms of the