The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1881-04-28
NEW SERIES---NO. 261
HUM0R.

The hour for closing having arrived,
the Lime-Kiln Glee Club tuned up, as
follows:
De gentle spring am almost here,
De sun am gittin high;
Dc snow am gently sidn' out,
DE ice begins to lily.
In thirty days or dar abouts,
De grass W II take liz green;
An all of us kin slosh aroun'
In April mud an rain.
De robin win begin to rob,
De bue-bird will feel blue
De crow will crow-bar on his way,
De bu1zards buz anew.
Now let us all feel proper glad,
An lose no time, indeed,
In castln' round among our friends
To borry onion seed.
DETROIT FREE PRESS.
veil is q protection against the sun
OF heaven and the son of earth.
"Punning is the lowest form of all
wit, said one to punster, who re-
piled, And therefore the foundation of
all wit"
When you have convinced woman
that lounge worth about 81 has just
been marked down from SIG to Sl2
you have secured customer.
You can tell a merciful farmer as soon
as he stops his team at q post. Ho
takes the blanket off his wife's lap and
spreads 1t over the poor horses.
mo kissP' he said pleadngly, "No
kiss from my darling tonight" NO"
she said, cmphatcally, mo kiss. |
hear there's mumps in your family"
Yes said the young lady, who was
going Safeguarding, to her maid, Il will
put on my leggins and thick overshoes.
don't care about my cardinal hose.
Mr.. Grilf is careful driver. He never
upsets.
"Sal says you can't come to see her
any more" remarked boy to the adj
mirer of the youths sister, "Why
notP' because you come seven
nights in week now, and how could
you come any more without spreading
the week like blazeS?'
Conversation between two French
girls: The oldest AZ think mama ought
to be ashamed of treading always on
Our heels and watching rs 50 uarcfully.'
The youngcr--"The fact is, she'd lust
make us want to be wicked if we
weren't thinking of it all the time"
Been vaccinatod, Miss BIack?"
ayes, indeed, Mr.. White. | should
Just hate to die OF that nasty smallpox.
Why, they say if you die of it you must
be buried in the middle of the night,
and nobody goes to the funeral!'
GLOW very,very sad it is for the corpse,
TO be surcm
When Patti was in Monaco she was
present ut one of VignauX's private ex-
hibitions in billiards. AT each stroke
she clapped her hands and ended by
crying; "Oh if you could only teach
me to play like thatn' willingly"
said Vignaux, "if you will only teach
ne TO sing as you dol
Surprise parties are coming into
vogue again. The person to be sur
prised issues the invitation through a
friend, and then she has the house
splendidly decorated with flowers and
some magnificent food in the pantry,
and everything in fine shape, so people
can see that the hostess has thin s in
fine style when she doesn't expect COM
pany. x
A gentleman who had been intro
duced to a lady previously represented
TO him as very beautiful, was asked
what he thought of her. He was a man
who did not believe in concealing his
opinion, and therefore candidly an
swered "She has fine eyes, no doubt.
and | think she uses the best French
enamel, but the dentist from whom she
purchased her teeth was no artist"
Little Oracle was told that it was inn
polite to take the last biscuit or cake
when at the table. Not long ago she
was observed to gaze long and earnest
ly at the only remaining biscuit on the
bread-plate. At last she reached over
and took the biscuit, exclaiming, ooh,
mamma, Use almost 'tarved dess
won't be polite to-day. I'll wait TIL
some day when l amt hungry. ri