Daily Republican., 1881-06-16
HUMOROUS.

ye sold all of dose Overcoats vat va
left over from last vinter?''
"No, sir; dere is dree of drem lei
yet"
"Vell, ye must sell 'em right away
as the winter will not last, you know
Herman. Pring me one of de goats
und | will dell you how We will sell der
oud, und you must learn de pisness
Herman, de winter vas gone, you know
und We have had dose goats in de stor
more than seek years"
An 81 overcOat was handed him b,
his clerk, and smoothing it out he tool
a buckskin money purse from the show
case, and stutfing it full of paper
dropped it into one Of the pockets.
Now, Herman, my poy," he contin
ued, watch me sell dat goat. haf sole
over dirty five or dem shust de sam,
way und | want to teach you de pisness
Ven de neXd customer comes In de shOr
| will show de way Rube Hofenstein
mine brOder in Detroit, sell his cloding
und udder things"
A few minutes later negro, in quest
Of a suitable pair Of c heap shoes, entered
the store. The proprietor advanced
smiling and inquired
"Nat is it you wish >"
"Yer gotany cheap shoes yer?" asked
the negro.
"BItnty of dem, my trent, blenty at
any brice you want. t."
"rhe negro stated that he wanted Il
pair of brogans, and soon his pedal eX-
tremities were encaSed in them and a
| l.,r A.. 10 IL, f.,
leave the proprietor cahed him back.
81 amt gwine ter buy muffin else. Use
got all | want" said the negro, sui
| lenly
"Dot may be so, my dear sir" re-
piled the proprietor, but | shust wants
you to look at dis coat. 1t vas de pure
Russian, und dis dime last year you
could not get that same goat for Owen
ty-tive dollars. Mine gracious cloding
vas gone down to noding, and der vas
no money in de pisneSs any longer.
You want someding dot will keep you
from the wedder, and make you feel
warm as summer dime, De gOnsump-
tion var going around, und the doctor
tells me it vas de wedder. More dan
nine boobies died round where lif last
week. Dink of dot. My trent, dat
vas Russion WOOL, dick and heavy. Wy
MiSder Jones, who owns the pank on
Canal street, took dot goat home nit
him yesterday, und wore it all day but
it vas "a leedle tight across de shoulders.
und he brought it pack shust vile ago
Try it on my dear sir. All dat vas all
right. Misder Jones vas rich man und
he liked that goat. How deep de pock-
cts, vas, but it vas Il leedle Digit right
across the shoulders. "
The negro buttoned up the coat, thrust
his hands i'll the pockets and felt the
purse. A peaceful smile played over
his face when his touch, disclosed to his
mind the conten of the pockets, but e
choked down his joy and inquired:
"Who did you say wore this hyar
coat?'
"Ny Mister Jones, vot owns de pank
on Canal street"
"What yer gwine to AK for it?"
"Dwendy dollars"
"Dats powerful high price for dis coat,
but I'll take it,
"Herman, here, wrap up dis goat for
de sehentlemman, and drow in cravat
it will make him look nice mid the la
dies"
"Nebber mind I'll keep the coat on, "
replied the negro, and pulling out roll
Of money, he paid for the coat and left
the store.
While he was around the next corner
over the stuffed purse, Hotten-
stein said to his clerk:
Herman, fix up an udder one uf
bnSn Ha s.,
get to tell dem dot Mister Jones, vot
:uns de pank on Canal streed wore it
HE HEARD 1T.
Topnody made up his mind that he
wasn't going to be bossed any longer by
lis wife, 80 when he went home at noon
le stall1ed in and called out utimperiOusly:I ,
Mrs. ropnody, Mrs. Topnody" Mrs. r.
anne out of the kitchen with drop of
weat on the end of hernose, dish rag
led around her head, and a rolling pin
n her hand. "Well, sir, she said,
what'll you have?" Topnody stag
cred, but braced up. "Mrs. Topnody,
want you to understand, madam" !
nd the appcd his breast dramatically, l
am engineer of this establishment. - o
on, vou are are yOu. Well, Topnody, y
want yon 10 understand that |, ard ,
le looked dangerously, IAN the boiler I
lat will blow up and sling the engin- Fl
n clear over into the next county. Do o
Du hear the steam escaping, ,Topnody ?" n
opnody heard it, and he meekly in 81
lired if there was any assistance he q
,uld render in the housework. a.
Conversation overheard on street in u
alveston, Texas n,
"Did you hear about Jim Arrhi- nj
lld?" -, 49,
"No, what about him?" "!
"Why he was walking along Broad h.
ny in New York, when man fell out cc
a tive-story window, and killed him th
dead as Julius Caesar" nI
"Well, it don't surprise me in the nj nj
lst. When | saw him down in Aus n,
|, last Summer, he wasn't looking at s,
we'll" do
A Dandy of twenty-six having been til
med an "old bachelor" appealed to ga
elderly man to decide whether he he
Duld be called old or not, giving his ac
3 as "twenty-six." Said the elder pa
ntleman: 1t is owing to how you take
Now, for man it is young enough;
for a goose it is rather old"
Even dumb animals exhibit attach on
,nts. The horse is always attached Re
the vehicle which he draws. JOY