The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1881-03-27

AS the pen is bent the paper is ink lined
The motto of the past winter-"Snow,
snow, boot full of snow"
II is reported that the hens ara organizing
mutual laid society.
Poems and articles which are "dashed
Oft 10 twenty minutes or 30" arc usually
balderdash.
A baggage smasher came to grief the other
day by attempting his vocation on an ele-
plants trunk.
1t is supposed that the reason that lawyers
DO not lilo any more than folks in general is
simply because they can't.
"Wbat no without there |" exclaimed the
fierce iragedisD, and the new 'supe" has,ened
TO say, "lhero isn't any hoe Mt ALL out
here"
SLOW shall We take the sense of this meet
ing" asked the chairman. "Pass around
your hat If you want our cents" yelled an
unruly boy,
"When will there DO only twenty-five
letters in the alphabet" asked bachelor
teacher. when u and | Il made L."
answered ayoung lady pupil.
"What IN Indian you are |" said young
lady to her beau at u ball. "Why do you
call mo IN Indian 7" he asked. "Becauae
you are all the time on my trail"
The Norristown Herald says that 'twenty
dollars were asked in Washington for rei .
Of windows from which to SEQ the inaugural
procession, but sensible people couldn't see
tin that light"
al and NM aot ~ nx,1aip,aI
tor. "lhats asking too mucb,' said one of
the audience, 10 which the orator replied:
Now that | look closely ut your ears, ilnd
that | am asking for very big thing"
Burke, in speaking to Dr. johnson about
n mutual acquaintance, said: doctor, you
must never believe more than half that man
ssye" (Which half shall believe ~ growl.
cd thc doctor. Burke was nonplussed.
An editor Boosting that his locality was
famous for its production Of blue birds and
spring poetry, an envious rival on tho other
side Of the river said, "Yes, and your
poetry makes me feol bluer than your blue
birds look"
at is II sad thing" said Mrs. Spilkins to
her husband, 'lor "A man to have his will
contested after no is dead" "Con,ested af-
ter no is dead - cried Spilkins. "rhats not
half SO bad as it Is to have it contested after
he is married.!
81 wish ! knew what 10 do to keep nv
feet from goirg to Sleep" said young man,
who is An awful prosy talker. You can't
keep them awake AS long MS they ara in your
company, unless you quit talking" was the
spteful reply of his friend.
at seems strange" said an old lady, "that
a man who is adding up columns of figures
levcr hears you when you spesk to him, ~
don't know. aunty, as it is NJ all strange; you |
know there's nothing so deaf AS tho adder"
replied her nephew.
"A noted cook boosted that there was no
yhefeupon friend said there was one kind
,fpio that no was sure he hadn't skill enough
o make. what pie is that" asked the
,ook. "a mag pie" was the answer.
A Young lady was caressing pretty span.
oil gid murmuriug, ~ do love a nice dog =
An" sighed n dandy staining near, Il
you'd | ere dog" "Nevr mind" rotort
I'd the young lady, sharply, .."youn grow"
One young countryman said 20 another, AS
hey werb promenading Broadway, "What
10 you suppose is tho reason that NIL these
landes walk with their elbows sticking out
10" To which his friend replied; l suppose
IS cause they used to carry parcels when
hoy were errand boys"
Colonel Snivens felt complmeuied when
10 Tas told that he had hear Of oak but
when the smile was carried further. and no
VAS assured that his head was Of tho
anne material somehow or other no didn't
o complimented, but was under the i'm
,rossion that he had been called wooden.
,caded.