Osage Valley banner. (Tuscumbia, Miller County, Mo.) 1879-1881, 1881-09-22
Doctors sna zee. s.atln.

There are those Who lhins that the
long illness of the Preshtatt, whether it
result fatally--which Goa Sorbid! or
in his complete recovery, will pSobably
effect one highly desirabla ainnoyation =
the doctors will learn 70 Hrite English
The public demand for frchuent tidingS
from the bedcide of The illustrious
patient has already develaped at least
a desire for this reform. Hitherto the
doctors seem TO have REGARDED it as
tolerabiy certain that al men are
bound 20 sicken and die, and that. since
their fate is irrevocable, ,hey might as
we'll die OF prescriptions Written Ia bad
Latin as of orders for medicine written
In fair English, the former having the
decided advantage of being only intolli-
gible to the physician and TO his coad-
iutor, the drug clerk; and thus the pa
tient doesn't know what he dies of, and
his surviving relatives also remain in
blissful ignorance in that regard. II is
convenient for doctor whose dag
noses may be hurried or incorrect, to
take refuge in words of learned length
and terrible sound, and the same style
Of language is nseful in describing dis
ease to the ordinary layman.
In other cases it may be still more
nseful to conceal the simple nature of
the remedies prescribed, Plain soap
and sugar may be Latinized into some-
thing terrible to the patient, who con-
suits old Bolus about getting rid of
boil And the man with o cold how
much more respect he will have for
his ailment If cured with syr, stDiple1
from the drug store at q dime a
spoonful, than If his wife gave him
tablespoonful Of tho plain sirup that
came in jug from the grocery store,
How much grander sounds syr. rhei
aroma than spiced rhubarb. Goose
grease even may be Latinized until
worth a dollar or more rs an onguent or
ointment. Aq. rose sounds better than
rose water, and az. Is a more learned
expression than hydrant water The
meu who gets prescription containing
chiefly Spir tFUDieah and takes il, is on
better terms with himself aud his all
ment, fancied or real, than if he had
been told TO go to a saloon and get
"pJny of whisky" And the child with
a 'Gold--Hhat intense respect has its
mother for the physician who writes u
learned prescription inca language un-
known to her, instead of plainly re-
marking, "sirup of squills, bloodroot
and paregoric in equal parts; tea
spoonful three times day; shake the
bottle Such is the reverence for pre-
sceiptions written in Latin that a Hiber.
nian patient once affirmed he "felt bet
ter after rubbing his rheumatism with
that paper" The only part of the or
der he was able to read was the direc.
tion, in English, "rub well;'' SO he
wore the paper out utrubbing the affected
part. There is still another advantage
in the use of Latin; its pronunciation
affords subject Of debate-when they
have no subject to hack with knives
among the medical students, and some
range themselves on the side OF Prof.
Draper in saying duodenum, while 9TH
ers agree with Webster in the lay and
popularly accepted pronunciation.
But, seriously, this Latinizing of pre-
scriptions--in very bad Latin, as rule
--is a traditional custom that must soon
give way before the onward march OF
popular intelligence and common
sense. President Garlield's ply sicians
undertook at first to follow this old
custom, and to entertain the public
with bulletins ineligible only TO pro-
fessional men; but they soon found that
such language would not do in this
case. So deep was the popular interest
in the welfare Of the President that
the fullest information, conveyed in
the simplest language, was insisted
upon. II is creditable TO the distin-
guished surgeons in charge Of the pa
tient that they Yielded, and the official
publications that come from the White
House are now written in English such
as ordinary readers can fully compre-
Probably the prescriptions are still writ.
ten in Latin, but 1t is one step in the
direction of reform that the descriptions
of the patients symptoms aud condi-
tions are intelligible.
The reform will extend until we shall
have diagnoses in English, and medical
works will be written wholly in the
same tongue. Then people viii be less
mystified about the ills the flesh is heir
TO, and having ascertained what ails
them, may, in illness OF not o serious
character, venture TO prescribe their
own remedies. The gentlemen whose
life-work Is one of boneiicence to tho
race win not long stand in the way of
these reforms. They cannot afford TO.
st. Louis Globe Democrat.
-----s s-
He came up little late, stepped
in without ringing, and, striding softly
into the parlor. dropped into an easy
chair with the careless grace Of young
man who is accustomed 70 the pro-
gramme. "By Jovem he said TO the
figure sitting in dim ohseurity ON the
sofa by Jovel l thought was new
er going TO SEQ you alone again Your
mother never goes awayfrom the house
nowadays, does she, Minnie?" "Well.