davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1881-11-02

A young lady who has slight defect
in the off eye, entered q drug store the
other afternoon, and called for glass
of soda-water. The clerk mistook the
movement of the optic for his usual
hint, and ten minutes after the woman
left the store she felt an irresistible de.
sire to sing, "Hic-hic- won't 60 home
- ic-till mornin'," and her necktie
persisted in crawling around under
8 her left ear. Drug clerks ought to ex,
ercise q little more caution Norris.
tOaC7l Herald. rlr
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1881-11-02
italian Emigration to America.

AV04100 0ulSI0bAVU W auX9IxOds
On this subject the Naples correspon-
dent of the London Times writes.
Attention is being drawn here To-
the constant and increasing. emigration
of Italians to the New World. A large
batch left Marseilles last week. To q
certain extent this may b. explained
by local circumstances, but, if so, the
emigrants had left their native country.
Statistics show us, says morning pa
ger, that 1900, 900 Italians have. left
their mother country during the last
ten years to seek their fortune and la
Dor in q .oreign land. This has now
assumed. a fixed quantity-that is, above
1900 annually. From 1861 to 1870
the number was the same as in the pre-
ceding ten years. Emigration con-
tinues the writer, is an evil so far as it
deprives society of vigor and life; yet
1t cannot be prohibited, as every one
has the. right to work And work
enough, he contends. may be found in
Italy. Look at those deserts of Sar-
DINA, the Tavoliere of Puglia, the Agro
Romano, and the Tuscan Maremma!
Look at the wretched peasantry of Gre
mona and Mantua, who wander from
commune to commune with their wives
and children, exhausted by want, bowed
down with misery by the 2,GlldgrG and
fever! The conclusion is that, so far
from there being q surplus population,
even more hands would be required to
cultivate the immense tracts of country
which are now abandoned; but Gov
eminent cannot do everything in TWEEN
ty years. 1t is owing to this want OF
labor that our large towns-and Naples
especially-are filled by miscreants
who prey on the richer classes, and
that, too, with ferocity which might
make a savage blush. In daily paper
l read. "A thief wrenched rosetta
Gan earring with 'concentric circles of
pearls) from the ear of Maria Turco,
carrying of the lobe of the ear 1t is
not an uncommon act Of violence.
Again. the Pas,sgal0 says: The use Of
the revolver has assumed such proper
tons as to demand the serious atten-
ton of the Government and of Parlia-
ment. There is not q week in which
deplorable scenes are not witnessed,
owing to the practice of miscreants Of
every class carrying revolver. There
was time when It was the luxury of
the rich; now there is not a bare.
legged man who does not make it his
companion day and night. Some day
or other people will have to leave the
ground floors of their houses and 20 to
an upper story for their security.''
.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1881-11-02
Opium Smoking in China.

Tie habit Of opium smoking is COM
mon all over China, but it is in the
west, in the comparatively unknown
half of China west of the 10th meridi-
an, that it is most prevalent. In some
parts of western HUI Pei and eastern
Szechuen it is all but UNIVERSAL; there
are few adults in any ,ation of life who
do not take an occasional Whit, and
the very streets of the towns and vii
lagos reek with opium fumes. The
practice is there INDUCED in the most
open manner, and no more stigma or
disgrace attaches to it than to smoking
tobacco.
Mr.. Waters, her majesty's consul at
lchang, made careful inquiries last year
into the origin of this practice, and
found that it had been INDUCED in for
several hundred years, long before
either the present reigning dynasty or
foreign merchants and their opium
were ever dreamt Of. The custom
generations ago passed into the family
Sacra, and at funerals in the west Of
China, among other gifts which are
transmitted into the next world, by
burning paper fac SMILES of them in
this, for the solace of the departed, is q
complete set Of opium-smoking requi-
sites-pipe, lamp, needle, etc. By the
people themselves the habit. SO far from
being regarded as curse is looked up
on as si,ae qua non for q Chinaman
who wishes to make the best of both
worlds.
The whole Of the opium consumed in
the west is locally produced, and Indi-
an opium does not come higher up the
Yangtsze than the districts contiguous
to the port of Hankow, nor is it import
ed by any channel into Western HUI Pei,
Szechuen, or the other provinces Of the
west. Above and beyond the enor-
nous quantity there grown for local
use. there is . large trade in the drug,
mostly contraband, from west to east.
Indian opium is consumed in the pro.
vinces adjacent to the treaty ports, and
being an expensive opium as compared
with native opium, is mostly smoked BY
the well-to-do classes. The common
people in these provinces smoke the
native drug, which is either grown on
the borders Of Kiang Su and Ho Nan,
or is struggled overland from the west
All western China, therefore, and. the
lower classes in eastern China, smoke
the native-grown opium. L0nd0,,
Times. s rs
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1881-11-02

The manufacture of butter and cheese
by the natives in China is unknown. but
there is said to be growingi taste for
these products and demand for impor-
tation. Germany, which had begun
to- ship considerable quantities of its
butter and cheese to China, has now,
according to the German Official ADJ
vertiser, been supplanted by Denmark
and France. Cheese from America is,
however, in favor.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1881-11-02
Matrimony and Rustic Simplicity.

0A0NAAVuy 04O AbU0U1o olU Hl1Olkye
Zone day." remarked Mr.. Wilson, OF
the Girard Hotel, Philadelphia, ga fell
low came into the hotel and said: 4
want = room.' He was in great hur-
~, and thought something was the
matter. He wrote his name in the reg
lister and said he wanted to 90 right
away. called bell boy, but, instead
Of going up the front stairs. he slipped
around back, met lady and took her
up with him. Soon the boy returned
and told me the man had woman in
his room. 1sent for him quickly.
What are you doing with woman
in your room?" asked.
: Nothing; I only took her up there
to wait, the fellow replied, trembling
all the time like criminal.
is she your sister,
".No.'
.Mothcrl' :
emo
".Daughterf
EMO.
.'.It is against the rules Of this house,
sir, to permit such conduct, and unless
the lady is your wife she cannot stay in
the room with you.' said sharply.
'But-but- was all the fellow
could say, and he caught nervously at
the desk in his fright.
"1n an instant it dawned on me what
was the NATTER" said Mr.. Wilson, ''and
1Icalled the fellow to one side and whis-
pered in his ear: You came to town to
get married, didn't you?''
Yes-yes. he replied eagerly.
well, now. you can confde in me
and III help YOU I replied.
".You see ] never was married be
fore, and / dom know nothing about
it, the fellow said; and do wish
you'd get somebody to tie the knot.
That's my gal upstairs, and she's q,
waitin' for me-
IAN right, 7 replied; I'll fix You
Magistrate List was sent for, and he
put them through in double-quick time.
They paid for the room and then went
off up Chestnut street to hunt contec-
tionary store. -
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1881-11-02

The COW Is wrong. L! e not her
mission In life to butt railroad trains of
bridges. Her first duty IS to furnish
tho basis Of city milk. --,,.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1881-11-02
How. Much Handle She Wanted to Her

:
ii She was buxom grass widow, and
sailing into photograph gallery she
handed the proprietor q newspaper
clipping, saying: Read that, will you? p
The proprietor read aloud as follows:
''Ths latest freak for young women with
shapely, handsome hands is Ito, have
them photographed singly. A certain
Boston lady, celebrated. for her beauti-
fulfeet, once had them photographed,
70 the great pleasure Of few favored
7 I That's it, said the lady; II want
some of those. .,5..5.t So
s''Those hands and-r' .. ...
s.Exactly! Hands and feet.''
Feet of the Boston ladyP''
tf'Boston lady! No; she be- hanged!
My own. What do want with her
z s'Well, by your showing me the news
paper clipping naturally thought it
picture OF the Boston lady's feet you
wanted" .s'.
''.Other people have feet besides Bos-
ton ladies! l suppose you can take
minep'' as
II haven't looked at 'em yet, but l
suppose can-if they are placed far
enough away"
Eyes, but want them taken as close
as possible"
swell, but about how much-how
much handle would you like to the
footf''
''Well, enough to show it's foot.
You can take as much as you think will
look we'll"
This matter having been thus AMIGA.
bly, adjusted, the customer stripped her
right foot in order that it might be
placed in position. :
Claiborne guardian. [volume] (Homer, La.) 1877-188?, 1881-12-28
An Obstinate Bride.

The other night Young man
from Northern Arkansas and q
young lady from the southern psrt
of the State Pot up ut hotel IN this
city and were married. After the
ceremony the young man went ont
and sat in front OF the hotel while
his wife went up TO the room assign.
ell as the bridal chamber.
"Tbis thing Of getting married Is
q lifetime business lie said. ad.
dressing man who had just been
divorced from his wife. 81 reckon
You have found it So" safd he, torn.
ing to "a single man. "Weli, l
reckon I'll so up. Dinged If don't
kinder hate to go up there, too; bat
| never was Altered of a man, and I
don't see why ] need he Altered of u
woman
4 He went MP and raped at the
door.
"Who's ,here'r demanded the
girl.
"I,'s me-"
"Who's me!'
"Don't yon recognize my tank,
honcyir
mo, don't
ats yonr own wide awake and
living husband. let me in"
"Go away from that door! You
shan't come in here! l. amt got
acquainted with you yet"
"Say, let me i'm. Them fellers
down stairs are laughing at me.
Open the door, tor I'm sleepy and
be yawned like man waiting for a
night train.
Thought you said that you were
wide awake
al was while ago. bnt I'm pow.
erful sleepy now. Say, amt you
going to open this door,
"No, aini.'
"Why did you marry me!"
"Brcausc wanted to-"
Swell, why don't y6t ftt ME iuf'
"Because don't want TO-"
"All right, old gal; III shell out
for home and leave YOU to pay the
hotel bill. never seed the woman
that could phil the wool over my
eyes,
The latch clicSed and the door
opened. The hotel bill had fright
ened her. alt won't do for n wo-
man to buck agin me, lemmy tell
YOU, for | was raised at the cross
roads and went 10 mill early"
Claiborne guardian. [volume] (Homer, La.) 1877-188?, 1881-12-28
A Costly Dinner.

The most costly dinner ever scrv-
ed by the late Dclmonico was that
given fifteen years or 80 ago to 100
prominent citizens of New York by
the silver.tOngued adventurer from
England, Sir Morton Peto. This
ostentatious individual expended
$50, 900 on that one nights enter
tainment, 800 for each guest. The
first citizens of New York were pres
sent, victims of this oily scamp's
preteutious phrases. In a review
of that dinner, the Times has de-
scribed q "marvel Of skill and art
and extravaganza. The saloon was
smo.hered in the rarest flowers; the
menu was in guilt on embroidered
satin; some Of the wine cost 425 a
bottle; the cleverest musicians. were
engaged ut fancy prices; Clara
Louise Kellogg had 4l, 900 for two
songs. and a present besides Of q
diamond bracelet. In ell probe bin
ty such q dinner had newer beer
served IN the republic; it would haze
delighted Sayer and FrancatsIli
and bad the aucient Grest Pkilsns
Claiborne guardian. [volume] (Homer, La.) 1877-188?, 1881-12-28

"Another lie nailed,' as the wag
when the merchant tack.
ed up a sigu, "At cost
Claiborne guardian. [volume] (Homer, La.) 1877-188?, 1881-12-28

booed in households where dOmi.
noes and backgammon are sources
of constant amusement. The con.
trasis of this sort might be carried
much further. And the Bishop is
right in regarding the enforced
separation Of the clergy from their
people in hours Of recreation rs a
mighty evil In the bowling alley,
the Rev, DR.. Storrs is formidable
rival of sny member of his congre.
CATION. Why should he not he per
mitted to become equally invincible
at the billiard tablet
"Well will it be for the chnrch
when it shall be fully recognized
that what is lawful for People is
lawful Tor Priest, and that what the
Priest may not do because /, is not
sinful, his People too must forego."
Every step toward the fuller recog.
milton OF this truth is in the direc.
ton of true religious progress.
Claiborne guardian. [volume] (Homer, La.) 1877-188?, 1881-12-28
A THANKSGIVING DAY.

Within garnet, cold and forlorn.
A group is gathered, Thanksgiving morn.
Father aud mother, with children, three;
One but II babe on its mothers kuce.
liaggard and pale is the fathers face.
Where lingering sickness has left its trace;
While the carcworn look on the mothers
brow
Tells OF the sorrow upon her now.
Hungry aud faint for want Of food.
With scanty clothing; no coal nor wood;
broken table; n bare, pine tuor-
What have they to be- thankful fort
Thoughts like these to the parents come,
While sitting here, in their cheerlcss home.
The children, nestled upon the bed
fragment of carpet over them spread
Are blind to their parents mute despair,
Aud the little gill, with pitying air,
Says: Nv hat do poor children 10, I wonder,
With no warm carpet 10 cuddle undet'
"No papa nor mamma to give 'cin bread,
An tuck 'cm up when they go to bed
Trardrops start from The fathers ewes:
Prayers from the mothers lips arise
:.
Footsteps fall on the crcaking floor;
\ knock is heard ou the chamber door.
4 blum Good mdrnins'" their query brings,
And, "Samho, You rascal, fetch up the
things
While the 'Squirc's darkcy, with cheerful
giiu.
Food aud clothing brings quickly in.
"Lo'd bless yo", mum why, who'd a.
That folks lived mp in this ere abode
"'Taint III for barn, H. cz ftu sinner,
I'll take YOU all to my house 10 dinner.
"I'll find you work, when you're strong and
we'll.
Aud a better place than this ere to dwell"
And the Squire paused. while tear arose
Aud dropped. unseen, ON his ruby nose,
rs the baby 10y, with happy Look
A rosy apple from Samho took.
Aud III, children galhc,cd. with eager eyes,
Round the platter ot douglnuts and pump.
I'm pes;
While the grateful mother could only say,
"IulN this j. Thanksgiving bay"
t.. II. Adams in Dciroit Free Press.
Claiborne guardian. [volume] (Homer, La.) 1877-188?, 1881-12-28
Blaine and Brown.

Political and other sensations are
the order of the day, and the Spring
field Republican springs this one
upon the country:
Some Southern editors see bril-.
liant possibilities I'M a presidential
ticket for 1884, of Blaine and Brown
james g., of Maine, and the pnsh.
ing Georgia railroad man and Sen.
atOr. True, one is Republican
and the other is a Democrat; but
the Atlanta Constitution says that
"all great successes, whether in
business or in politics, are made up
of a series of compromises.
Mr.. Blaine is putting money into
Southern enterprises, talks cordial
ly OF making a tour Of the South,
and the newspapers Of that section
warm toward him with a loving
kindness that is quite blind to the
past. 1t is their fashion to accept
the Secretary of State as Garfeld's
political heir and the leader of that
majOrity of the Republican party,
which abjured Grautism and all its
works at Chicago.
1t is we'll also to observe that
Senato or Joseph +. Brown is a great
political force in Georgia and out
side of il, and that his local news
paper admirers are many. He Is
an industrious and successful man.
ager, whose boast has been that he
never yet tailed 10 carry a point on
which his heart. was set. For some
time past the Georgia newspapers
have been attacking two Democrats
of national reputation, Thomas
Bayard and Samuel J. Randall. To
build up Brown it seems to be
thought necessary to tear others
down. This fact has been remarked
upon oy the astute Charleston News
and Courier.
What does it all meant Is Sena.
tor Brown bent upon a grand poll.
tical yeasting by which Blaine and
Brown shall rise to the surface IN
1884, The suggestion is a curious
one, but we have the authority of
Cyrus w. Fields consolidated New
York evening paper for expecting
that "out Of the lax and dissoiviug
party organizations will come new
parties"
Claiborne guardian. [volume] (Homer, La.) 1877-188?, 1881-12-28

nus been there be would have again
wished for the heck OF Grand thSe
be might longer enjoy the passage
OF so many dainties down his greedy
throat.-Albany Argus.
Claiborne guardian. [volume] (Homer, La.) 1877-188?, 1881-12-28
The Relation of the Clergy to
Amusements.

The Rev. DR.. Richard :. Storls
of the church of the Pilgrims IN
Hrooklyn is II clergyman who does
appear To he afraid To CRAFTY
Il taste for harmless recreation he.
cause To do 81 is unconventional, or
what nigh; even be termed unclcr.
zeal. "A very interesting affair.
according to our esteemed comtcm
uorarN. the Biooklyn Daily Eagle.
took place ut thc residence of Mr..
Franklin Woodruff ON Thursday
evening. and among the invited
guests present. WAS the Rev. DIR.
StorrS.
The event was nothing less than
a private match of billiards be.
tween Mr.. William Sexton and Mr.
Joseph Dion, the well known eX.
pcrtS in this fascinating game. \
regular three ball game ct five hun.
drca points WAS played in the pres.
ence OF Il distinguished company.
Then the players INDUCED in some
fine fancy shots. and subsequently
every body INDUCED in refreshments.
The OCCASION was one Of innocent
and agreeable enjoyment through
ont.
The presence Of a prominent min
lister OF religion at such an enter
tainment not only shows strong,
good sense, bu, is indicative, we
think. of IA change in the attitude
of the clergy generally towards all
amusemcnts not evil in themselves.
\ pronounced expression in the
changing sentiment in this respect
is found in the Bohlen lectures for
/ 1881, delivered Mt Philadelphia by
Bishop Dudley, of Kentucky. This
fearless writer advocates wise dis.
elimination as the great present
need of the church. In reference
/ TO popular amusements, he declares
that the clergy are standing on
ground that is wholly untcnable.
IL believe" he says, "that the
indiscriminate condemnation of one
whole class Of amusemehts and the
indiscriminate approval of another
has produced the effect upon the
mass of Christian PEOPLE to destroy
the value of all such Judgment
He cannot see why clergy and laity
may iightfully 60 hand in hand to
the concert hall or reading hall.
there to hear the prima donna ar
tragedian, and yet must he forbid.
den to attend the opera or theatre.
The actor who refused to read
Shakespeare before Young Mems
Christian Association is pronounced
worthy of admiration for his rebuke
to Christian inconsistency in telling
the young men that it could not he
right for them to hear him read
while seated in 4 chair the language
they deemed it unlawful to listen
to if spoken By the same person
dressed in character.
In games the same unreasonable
distinctions arc shown By Bishop
Dudley TO exist, and cards are Ia
Claiborne guardian. [volume] (Homer, La.) 1877-188?, 1881-12-28
G. II. ROGERS,
louse, Sign, Carriage and
Buggy Painter,
Paper.Hanger and Glazier,
HOMER, LA.

HoLiClT THE PATRONAGE OF THE
peopir Of Homer and vicinity. forevi-
ncr' OF my proficiency, refer to the nu-
r: persons for whom / have worked
ciaiborne parish. -
tented. e. II RnGERs
Npril ,. 1879. nv
Claiborne guardian. [volume] (Homer, La.) 1877-188?, 1881-12-28

Professional and business cards, of ten
No., or less in length, sl5 per annum; for
4 months, so; for three months. 81
|, .iness advertisements of greater length
I'm h.. inserted at above rates.
..gal advertisements will he charged NJ
Al rates, where fixed by law; otherwise
.peciai rates ~ published above.
" Special notices 20 cents per line.
r,,,r.l notices of less than ten lines.
NJ ,rra.r and religious nuticcsinserted
|ItiN.
t,,h.wnrk executed in the ncatest style
I ii Al reasonable prices.
August -. l@71.
Claiborne guardian. [volume] (Homer, La.) 1877-188?, 1881-12-28
Terms Of Subse ription:
Terms Of Advertising:

IA. snn,re, of one inch in space or less,
:, Insertion. 81 90; each additionalinser-
on, 80 cents.
Claiborne guardian. [volume] (Homer, La.) 1877-188?, 1881-12-28
Iron Soup.
New York Puck. |

affluence of hair, aud a soft, seduc.
tive smile, gently staggered into %
restaurant down town not more
than week ago, hung his hat on a
nail, took seat and commenced TO
drum for the waiter. The latter APP
peared in due time, and began to
brush around the tumblers with o
great deal of energy.
The diner ordered some turtle
soup and while he was slipping it,
Clipped in:
"Pretty good soup this; what's the
vinlagci7
Ten A. NJ" replied the waiter,
as he prepared to hurl the check
down like boomerang.
"Made Of land turtlesi7 inquired
the festive guy.
Gland turtlesi' repeated the
waiter in establishment.
"Yes, land turtles, continued the
diner; "those big, corpulent, speck.
led, punch.nosed reptiles that walk
around rye.fields with initials and
ddttS Cut VII UdChS.
The waiter assured him that he
was positive that was not the brand
of turtle employed in the construc.
ton of their best soup in the city
for ten cents plate, including a
roll.
No, suppose it is not" contin-
ued the guest. 81 suppose it is not;
| presume YOU use these little black,
red spotted specimens that infest
woodland brooks and bird stores at
three for a quarter. These little
polka dot rascals that float on corks,
chuck full of meditation. | sup
pose you get them in quantities and
open them like Little Neck CLANS.
and spring the result Oh innocent
people for terrapin. Does any in
tellect light on the schemei"
The waiter didn't reply. and the
guest went on:
"Perhaps YOU use swapping tur.
tles-these fellows that grab at any.
thing so hard that it makes them
tired. These ignOble beasts that
draw the skin over their eyes when
yon look at them, and who have
skin enough for each eye to make
n Masonic apron, strings aud NIL,
and
1--WE use an iron turtle" broke in
the waiter, who was tired of being
guyed.
"An iron tu'rtle!"
"Certainly, an iron turtle
"To make turtle soupi7
"Why, of course, to make turtle
soup, not to make lamb stew, or Il
fricaudean OF nightingale's soul, or
an cpigram of tapif's kidney
"But, said the diner" how do YOU
make soup out of an iron turtle!'
"Why, we wind him up
"Wind him upi'
"Precisefy; he has key hole in
his back, you wind to your right,
until you can't wind any longer
Then YOU throw him into the soup,
and the machinery starts, and he
kicks and splashcs around tor hours.
We have a few eight-day turtles
that" --=-
"But where does the nutriment
come fromT inquired the astonish.
ed guest, in tones of excitement.
"Why, from the ingredients; the
calls head, and the beef, aud the
carrots, and the lemon
"Thcn what is the use of putting
in the turtlei'
"Why, he furnished the motioni"
"What, motion in soup"
"Of course; we throw him into the
soup, and lie splashes around with
his great paddle feet"
ITO tone the system with irony
"Oh, no, just to keep the soup
from burning. It's a great deal
cheaper to work the turtle than to
+ hire a boy to do the stirring"
Then the out-guyed diner left
with u sadful look, as though he
had Just come down stairs with
some manuscript, and halt a dozen
series of editorial footprints all over
him.
A Costly Dinner.
Claiborne guardian. [volume] (Homer, La.) 1877-188?, 1881-12-28

Will the coming man shut Tie
door behind himi 10 the latest 10
quiry. 1t 10 to 10 hoped tbat No
~ill, for the going man ssldso dees.