The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1881-01-06
A MF1RY MOuRNgR,
HisSoration.. Over. tho Burial ....of nemo-
cratic 1Sopes.


The Republicans of Clarinda, pags
county, Iowa. had a jolli6cation meeting
on Friday night. the 9th inst. After sew.
erai Republican orators had given vent
to their feelings with spread eagle speeot.-
es. the crowd called loudly for La B.
Cake. Cake is Democrat and he look
cd too depressed 10 speak. but the crowd
wnnldn't be put of. go lesmounted bnz
and made the following unique speech
Fellnw citizens: a man usually az.
tends his own funeral, but it is not cx.
pected that he should talk great deal.
Laughterl ! knew the funeral ceremo.
ny would go on without ME, so conclu.
dcd had better bring in the body.
Laughter. But il takes o great deal OF
grace to sustain man who helps furnish
the corpse for an OCCASION like this.
Laughtcr] Nobody but Democrat
could do it. [Applause. 1t is certain
that no one save the Democrats have had
chance to try it for the last twenty
years. Shouts of applause. Disap-
pointment is the modern Democrats "a
hirtllright. and mourning his normal con.
dition. They took out pstent on disas-
ter twenty years ago and j. has never
been infringed. The patent run out in
1876 and they have just got it renewed.
Lonking over the landscape of the last
twenty years behold acres of busted
hopes, cords and cords Of disgruntled am.
bitions, barrels and barrels of unavailing
tears. oceans and oceans strawn with the
wrecks of phantom ships once; burdened
with Democratic delusions. Great ap.
planse. Disappointment is an anchor to
the Democratic soul, both sure and stcad.
fast.
Leav's have their time to fall,
And flowers To- wither at the north
winds breath,
And stars to set but all, Oh, Democrat
Thou hast all times for thine own death
! might say with Shylock. "Sunerance
yea. sufer-ance is the badge of our
tribe" could give you 329 reasons for
this. Laughter. A lawyer offered n
Judge sixteen reasons why his client was
not present in court. First, he was dead
The Judge told him that lie might omit The
other fifteen. The first reason of tie S29
il, we lacked the voters. You will allow
me to omit the other 328. Applausiye
consent. But could give you more
than 329 reasons. Then
',ris the South that can supply,
Solid comforts while we die.
In some States the Greenhack party
feii through ii orack III ii, Il platform and
crippled us, Laughter. But Denac-
racy still lives. Great applause. It's
like the mule--it never dies. But unfor.
tunately, like the mule, while it lives /,
is forever throwing its riders.
1t bucked Greeley off and killed him
in 1872. Tilden stuck on till he passed
under the wire. Applause.l But there
was so much daylight between MIN and
this Democratic quadruped the Judges
counted him off. although he had his foot
i'll the stirrups. This year we got
splendid send of, and might have won,
but the donkey was stricken down in In.
diana with lg) LandeIs. [Applause.
We close this chapter of history with the
hope the story will not be continued in
our next. Cheers.] We accept de.
feat the more cheerfully because of the
magnanimous manner with which you
take the victory. We take it every four
years. 1t is standing prescription. 1t
might we'll be called the qusdrennial ipe.
cac. lGroans. 1t works up before the
election and work down when the returns
como in. we thapk you for the mag
Da9imous way in which you have turned
cut to our funeral. AppIause.] We
congratulate you on the magnificent and
imposing character of the obscquies.
Here the speakers feelings oyercnme
him, and he retired amid encouraging
earthquakes and applausive avalanches.