River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1881-06-16
RUBBER CHOPS.
The Latest Invention for the Benefit
of Restaurant Keepers.

| While the proprietor of the Maison
Doree, New York, was standing behind
the counter the other day catching flies
for currant cake, and wishing that a
! little of the business wave that the east
| ern papers say so much about, would
| slap over into his restaurant, as it were,
young man with beaming smile on
his face and big box under his arm
/ entered.
Don't want any sleeve buttons,
nor nothin', !" growled the dyspepsia
distributor, glancing at the box.
'tNo, nor [, - said the stranger, affa-
bly,, depositing the box on the counter
and removing the lid. "But what you
do want is the greatest invention of re-
corded time-the boarding house keep
ers salvationl"
Roach poison" said the steak
stretcher, contemptuously.
| 'No, sir" retorted the young man,
taking handful of singularly-shaped
objects out of the box Something
that beats the photograph and the tel
ephone all boiler. | refer to the Skid
more Chopr"
whats that ?"
"Why, it's the most economical de-
vice of modern times, and I'll prove 1t
right here. Surprising you are serving
dinner to say dozen persons? Now,
how many chops do you usually put on
the table,"
"Well, about two apiece, say twelve"
"And how many are eaten?'
"Hum! about four.
Exactly: that is about the average,
as our restaurant statistics show. As
matter of course, however, you are
compelled to cook three times as much
as you need to make show. Now, il
you could save six chops every dinner
for year it would amount to"
"a fortune" said the man of outlets,
eagerly. All we can do with 'em now
is to work them over into hashes."
peace to your hashes," said the
agent; 'all this ruinous waste is now
prevented by the introduction of dish
of the patent Skidmore Indestructible
Rubber Chop, put up in packages of
one dozen and warranted for five
years." and the food economizer ex-
| hibited some lifelike limitations of cook
ed mutton chops.
'Looks like good scheme" said the
conductor of stews, thoughtfully; but
don't the customer ever"
Tumble? Not in the least. He
only notices that one chop is tougher
than the other, and finally gets his fork
IN and chews ahead. The smaller ones
come higher. as they are made of lit
tie more timber article of rubber for
lamb chops Can't be told from the
genuine by the naked eye. All you
have to do is to ereese 'em on both
sides, warm 'em up little, and serve
them mixed with the genuine as
usual"
Seems like they are about as tender
as the regulation kind" said the res
tauranter, jabbing one with a fork.
Don't they ever get eaten by mis-
take? ?"
"No-no-that is, not now. We did
lose few that way when introduced,
but now that we make the material
tougher, it don't happen any more I'M
less they will swallow them whole
Why, ere's a specimen that's been in
use in a Chicago restaurant there for
years, night and day, and you can't see
the first tooth mark in it yet"
THAT settles it," said the restaura
teur, "I'll take gross"
II thought you would" said the chop
agent. as he took down the order and
emphatically declined an invitation for
some lunch. 81 will drop around in a
few DAYS and show you samples of
some soft white rubber Holsters we are
getting up especially for the country
Trademark the best article of indies
tructible salad ever known" and he
shouldered his box and walked off in
the direction of Baldwin's hotel.