The Brookhaven ledger. (Brookhaven, Miss.) 1875-1883, 1881-07-28
Cur 1essrrt


Parasites-Eye glasses.
A feast of free2in'-Ice cream.
Be virtuous and you will be q curios-
ity.
The man who eats oleomargarine gets
fat.
A man is known by the company he
keeps out of.
Bees think there is no place like
comb-honey comb.
The hungry man longs to eat, and the
glutton eats to long.
1t does not follow that man who has
no front teeth is a back>biter.
No man is ever out of debt entirely.
We arc all owing to circumstances.
Trihes light as hair sometimes turn
the whole course OF a mans appetite.
She was the typos first mash, but her
mother came in and stopped the press.
Some men are called muffs because
they are used to keep q filrts hand in.
Why is the rosebud like a promissory
note? Because it natures by falling
dew.
1t is not wise for o young man to sell
his ulster for the sake OF buying a liver
pad.
The best of us are very apt to be
mealy>mouthed about three times a
day.
If the wife of a Dutchman is a duch-
oss the tieat can be INDUCED in right
here at home.
" A Minnesota woman hGs lost two hus-
by lightning. She ought to
marry O conductor.
Why does a two shilling cane and a
fve-cent cigar swell a young mans
head up until it won't fit him?
A Keokuk 10y named a dog Rome, so
that by simply twisting the animals
tail he can make Rome howl.
Every man in st. Louis owns q dog.
The object is to increase the puppyla~
ton until 1t rivals that of Chicago.
Why is the money you are in the
habit Of giving to the poor like a newly
born babe? Because it is precious lit
tie.
A woman cant't put on any side sad
Gle style when she goes in swimming.
She has either to kick out like a man or
get drowned.
An Ohio man has taken the small
pox from a pet pig. When once this
disease gets into a family it is pretty
sure to go through it.
A Nebraska monument to a horse
thief is simply a stake at the head of
the grave and a sign reading: at
would have been cheaper for him to go
afoot."
The men who give up their seats to
ladies in Boston street cars are regards
ed with suspicion and thought to be la
boring under attacks of emotional in
sanity.
Susan B. Anthony says she has been
preaching female suffrage for thirty
years. What she preached during the
earlier and greater portion of her life is
not stated.
A North Carolina editor declares that
the "man who will read a paper three
or four years without paying for it will
pasture a goat on the grave of his
grandfather.
A Sunday school picnic manager
explained that he did not make the
lemonade soul because the children had
milk for breakfast, and he was afraid to
make them sick.
Minnie was two years old. She ask
ed for some water one night. When it
was brought she said: "Papa. can't you
get some fresh water? This tastes a lit
tie withered."
Speaking of the rapid manner in
which bad deeds are perpetrated. Mrs.
Darlington called special attention to
the fact that it required only two sec>
onds to fight a duel.
A bachelor, upon reading that two
lovers will sit up all night with one
chair in the room, said that it could
not he done unless one of them sat on
the floor. Such ignorance is painful.
A farmers daughter in the interior
was told by a fortune teller that she
would marry n rich stranger, and now
every time she sees a cloud of dust up
the road she takes out her crimps and
puts on a winning, sweet look.
Duty is the power which rises with
us in the morning and goes to rest with
us at night. 1t is co-extensive with
the action of our intelligence. 1t is the
shadow which cleves to us. go where we
will. and which only leaves us when we
leave the light of life.
A flower has been found in Northern
Mexico that has an odor like that of
Whisky. and when a lot of prospectors
from California got into a field where
it grew, they were just wild with excite
ment, until they found where the odor
came from.
One of the Galveston clergyman res
Gently preached a thrilling sermon on
the wickedness of Sodom. A stranger
from Chicago went out during the midi
die of the sermon and shed bitter tears.
The ermon made him homesick. He
left on the next train for Chicago.
Do You know how a church bazaar
works? The principle IS q very inge-
MUS one. Some ladies borrow money
from their husbands, buy materials,
aud make up fancy articles which they
give to the bazaar. Then they change
places, borrow more money from their
husbands and buy the articles back
again.
A news agent out West deserves a tes-
timonial. For hundreds of years not a
single account of a destructive hail
storm has appeared in the newspapers
that didn't say the hailstones were as
large as hens eggs. Many persons had
come to believe that eggs we're invente
ed for the sole purpose of comparing
with the size of haIlstones. But there
has been q new departure. A tele>
graphic account of a recent storm in
the West says the hailstones were as
large as door knobs. and the author of
the ne y comparison will doubtless re-
ceive the thanks of all newspaper read
ers.
A Model Ghost Story.
The K~etchnmville (Tioga County. N.
" correspondeudent of the Oswego
Gazette tells the following story: Quite
a singular circumstance happened to
Mr.. Dwight Cady last Thursday even
ing while on his way home from North
Maine. 1t will be remembered that
- ,oo n vary dark nioht IT. waq nen-