The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1881-03-03
A Terrible COmbat-TwO Old Physi.
cinns Fight Like Cats.

The other night Drs. Snort aud Bill
kins, two of the oldes. physicians in the
country, met st hotel in Cleveland. They
were on Il Journey and their meeting was
accidental
/ r".We must occupy the same room," in
sisted Dr.. Snort. "It has been SO long
since met nm old.time doctor that the
occasion shall retain pleasant memories" ;"
Nothing would give ME greater pleas.
ure," answered DIR. Bilkins. ut is pleas
ant to meet 8 genuine physician
The two OLD men were shown TO a
room, where, with bright fire, they built
an addition TO an acquaintance begun
when Ohio was not regarded as the
great State of Presidential production.
"There are great many TICKS in tho
medical profession now" said DIR. Snort !;
"these upstart doctors nre killing the
people off ut n shameful rate
ut wasn't so In our day" replied DIR.
Bilkin's; "a boy nineteen years Of age
wasn't engaged as family physician
then"
mo; nor there wasn't that jealousy cx.
listing between doctors that YOU find
now. I.'s all right to talk about
enterprise and young blood, but doctor
should not be too cnterprising."
After talking until the fire had burned
out, the two friends retired. "Speaking
about young DOCTORS said DIR. Snort, II
have always held that the best physicja. !,
is lie who has the age. 1t is ali practice
any way, and believe that q Gfty.year
old doctor is more reliable than one
forty five years old"
eyes" said Bilkins, "but after they pass
fifty it doscnt make much difference"
"Yes, it does. A Glty.fivc year old
doctor is naturally more reliable than
one fifty years old"
Now, here" said Bilkins, you say
that just because am fifty and you nre
about fifyfve"
mo, l didn't think Of the difference
in @ our ages. However, in our case it is
Don't try to.crawl out Of it, Doctor,
for you meant it as an insinuation. You
can't pull wool over my eyes, for can
doctor the life out of you any time"
"N2 doubt Of it. Let's 20 to sleep"
"Sleep the DEUCE" said Bilkins, turn.
ing over. "stir man up and then tell
him to go to sleep! want you TO un-
derstand that / stand higher rs n physi-
cinn than you do"
wv oSO w WIN lIll way NIcU you
know that / can doctor the socks off
you"
That's the trouble. You can doctor
the socks off anybody. l suppose you
are not aware that Busley tells it all
around the nrighborhOod that you killed
his wife,"
"see here" snarlcd Snort, "you are
getting too internal insolent for an old
mn I Int Iol
about it, but / know one thing concerning
your medical career that is blot on the
profession. You poisoned G'axton's
child out of pure ignorance."
"You are n rheumatic old liar" exclain-
cd Bilkins,, ,springing, up. "You arc a
wheeling old scoundrcl"
"Yon old carrion crow" yelled Snort,
II wouldn't take that from my father"
Take ynnr hands nG. III nmmc!. tie
life out of youp Take that" howled
Bilkina, MS he struck the wall with his
fist.
Ten they grapplcd and began n
mouth. to-mouth engagement. They rolled
out OF bed, got up, braced, grappled and
fell, again. Finally the night porter
broke open tho door, rushed in
and lit the gus. DR.. Snort stood in one
corner Oh inc room, h0ldIng;n chair. DR..
Bilkins stood on the bed with boot in
his hand.
Drive that mailman OUT exclaimed
Snort. "He has been trying to murder
me-"
"He is is IN old liar" vocirefatcdI Bill :
kins; "he tried 10 poison snc. Shoot
him. Call the police and let them kill
him."
Several men, disturbed by the noise,
entered the rom, and the two old friends
were compelled to occupy different apart
ments, The affair has created IL profound
sensation, aud warrants of arrest have
been issuedfor the old.tirne physicians
Cleveland Leader.