davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1881-08-04
Laughing Away a Duel.

Laughter is an antidote to anger. Even
a duel has been prevented by some
amusing answer which turned wrath
into mirth. A man holding both his
sides can't hold pistol.
A Georgia Judge named White, who
wore o cork leg, once challenged a
brother of the bench, Dooly by name,
and q wag, to mortal combat. At the
appointed hour both appeared on the
field, but Dooly was alone. White
sent his friend to ask where his an
tagonist's second was. "Gone into
the woods" replied the humorous
Dooly, "to get bit of hollow tree
to put one of my legs in, that we may be
even."
The answer was too much for Judge
White; he laughed and SO did his
second, and the challenge was with
drawn.
An Irsh lawyer, who had never fred
a pistol, was challenged by famous
duelist whom he had offended by severe
comments upon his testimony in court.
The duelist, having been crippled in
one of his duels, came limping upon
the ground. He had one favor to ask,
permission to lean against milestone,
aS ne WAS uudDlt W obtuu W1OuOu1 6ukS
port.
The request was granted, and, just
as the word "Fire I" was about to be
given, the lawyer said he also had a
request to make. He asked the privi-
lege of leaning against the next mile
stone.
A hearty roar of laughter from seconds
and challenger dissipated all thoughts
of duel. ..
The great orator of the Revolution,
Patrick Henry, once received the follow
ing note, preliminary to challenge
from Gov. Giles, of Virginia:
"S1R: understand you have called
me a 'bob-tail politician. I wish to
know if it be true and, if true, your
meaning"
Mr.. Henry replied in this style:
"SIR: do not recollect having called
yon 'bob-tail' politician at any time,
but think it probable I have. Not
recollecting the time or occasion, I can't
say what I did mean, but, if you
will tell me what you think I meant,
I will say whether you are correct OF
not"
Of course there was no DUEL YOUTH
COMPANION.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1881-08-04

Johnny Manning, the Sheriff OF Dead.
wood, Dakota Territory, was In st.
Louis on business, and he remembered
that the year before st. Louis man
had been up to Deadwood and left ow-
ing a man several hundred dollars,
which was to be paid as soon as he got
home. Manning met the man in st.
Louis, and he said he would hand him
the money the next day. but the days
passed and the money did not come,
though the man was amply able to pay.
So one morning Manning inserted per-
sonal in a newspaper to the effect that if
the man who left Deadwood between two
days did not pay the money he forgot
to pay, night before, the whole circum-
stances would be published the next
day. The notice was signed John
Manning, Sheriff Of Deadwood. Be-
fore 9 o'clock, a young man called at
Manning's hotel, and said he had seen
the notice and had come to pay 1920 he
had borrowed to get out of Deadwood.
Manning found out who the money was
borrowed of, and took it to carry to the
Deadwood citizen, remarking that he
was not the man the Sheriff referred to,
but it was mighty mean Sheriff that
would not carry money to friend. The
next man to call was the one he wanted.
and he paid the money, and apologized,
and begged the Sheriff to say nothing
about it. During the day seven citizens
of St. Louis called on Manning and raid
him money for citizens of Deadwood
believing the Sheriff had reference te
them in his notice, and, after he ha6
gone away, another citizen called an6
asked the clerk for Manning, but the
| clerk said the other fellows had all beer
there and paid up, and this man better
keep his money. The Sheriff said HI
always thought advertising paid, but h
had never had it demonstrated to hi
satisfaction before.-Peck's Mil,0duke'
| Sun.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1881-08-04
Austrian Dogs.

In Austria, while the large dogs are
made to work, and make themselves use
full In various ways, the little fellows are
taken to the bosoms cf the ladies, and
treated as if they were veritable angels.
It is not uncommon, when travelling, to
see almost every lady with dog in her
arms, and occasionally footman or
maid, whose sole duty In travelling with
the mistress is to take care of the dog,
and see that he has water and food on
the route.
The doctors tell many amusing anec-
dotes of having been called up at mid
night and finding that their services were
needed for poodle that had been over
fed in the effort to kill them with kind
ness. They could make heavier charges,
with the assurance of prompt payment,
in such cases, than if the patient had
been a child or husband. Glove me,
love my dog," seems to be the sentiment
of these ladies; and ON one occasion the
writer saw finely dressed lady, who
had her dog in her arms, take off her
gloves while standing in railway sta
ton, and diligently pursue and kill a
ing among the fleece of her favorite. It
ly along with ribbons, and in some cases
to see gold chain attached to lady's
belt, and at the other end of the chain o
poodle dog travelling by her side OF re-
posing in her arms.
Signs in the shop windows tell you
that "Dog soap is sold here" and that
various patent compounds that will in
duce canine health and longevity are on
sale. A lady walking in any of the pttb-
lie grounds with dog is sure to be ac-
costed by number of seedy-looking in
dividuals, who will draw out of their
pockets pups, which they offer for sale.
The offering for sale of anything in the
public grounds being prohibited, they
thus keep them concealed in their pock-
cts. In the upper grades of life moth
er trusts her children to servants and
governesses, but her poodle dog she
Keeps Under her own eye; and a scream
from the nursery might pass unheeded,
but yelp from the drawing room or the
boudoir would startle cher Ladyship''
from the soundest sleep. Of course
there are exceptional cases, but it in
cludes most of those who aspire to fash
ionable life. We see dogs caressed much
more than children are, and their comfort
studied with jealous care.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1881-08-04
Was Booth Insaneg

Probably the only history which gives
color to the theory that Booth was insane
is that by J. S. Blackburn, principal of
an academy at Alexandria, Va, and w.
N. Mcdonald. principal of male high
school at Louisville, KY. In their his
tory, which is being extensively used in
Southern schools, they say: "Booth
committed the act under the fanatical
idea that the war would terminate and
the South gain her freedom if Lincoln
were killed" This same history ad-
vances, among the causes of the failure
of the rebels, the following: "The
primary cause of the failure of the Con-
federacy was that the people of the South
were not unanimous in their efforts to
gain their liberty. In the history of the
world united people, struggling for
liberty, have aaeUer been subjugated. ="
The italics are the work of Messrs.
Blackburn and Mcdonald. Booth was
shot in barn at Garrett's farm, near
Bowling Green, and died soon after.
That was April 26, 1S65.-Chicago In
ter Ocean.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1881-08-04
Marrying in Ill.Health.

A prominent Eastern physician has
related that he was consulted by two
consumptives as to the propriety of mar
rying. They were both weakly in con-
stitution, but intellectually brilliant, and
their tastes were harmonious. They
loved each other ardently, and could not
be happy apart. He counseled them to
marry, and they did SO. They lived to-
gether most pleasantly for about a
dozen years, aud died at about the same
time. According to the physical school
of thinkers, they should have remained
single, each dragging out the twelve
years in solitary discomfort. Of course
there can be no general rule for cases in
which disease exists; each instance must
be judged on its own merits.-Cincin-
natl Gazette.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1881-08-04

When one breaks camp in the morn
ing, he turns back again and again to
see what he has left. Surely he feels
that he has forgotten something. What
is it =? It is only his own thoughts and
musings he has left, the fragment of his
Life he has lived there. Where he hung
his coat on tree, where he slept on the
boughs, where he made his coffee or
broiled his trout over the Goals, where
he drank at the little brown pool in the
spring run, where he looked long and
long into the whispering branches over
head he has left what he cannot bring
away with him-the fame and the ashes
of himself.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1881-08-04
People In GIn.. Houses. etc.

While it may be proper that those
"living in glass hous IS should never
throw stones" we think it is eminently
proper that those working in glass houses
should say "good word" for anything
of benefit to themselves. In this con-
nection, Mr.. Isaac Corey, Manager
Salem, N. j., Glass Works. remarks: I
am pleased to say that have used the
Great Remedy, st. Jacobs Oil, for
Rheumatismwith excellent results; other
members of my family have also been
greatly benefited by its use.-&. Louie
Eveni,ag Chronicle.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1881-08-04
The Ten MUSES..

What should be their functions
/. The arch-concoctor Of salads.
2. The sewer-on of buttons
3. The intelligent maker Of bread
sauce.
4. The player of Beethoyen's music.
5. The player of common tunes.
6. The consoler under difficulties.
Z. The good leader.
8. The dear creature, who always be-
heves in her husband.
9. The manager of other wives.
If there is to be tenth one, she shall
be the noble and rare creature who can
cook potato.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1881-08-04

SOME wag in Chicago mailed letters to
a score of business men, telling them to
look out for a man who would visit their
houses that evening to see their wives,
and twenty business men surprised their
wives by coming home two hours ahead
of time. They all begged pardon for the
intrusion, and promised never to do so
again. The apology was accepted and
placed on file.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1881-08-04

INDIGESTION, dyspepsia, nervous prostration
and all forms of general debility relieved by
taking MENsMAN's PEPToN1zED BEEF Tonic. the
only preparation of beef containing its entire
nutritious properties. It contains blood-mak-
ing, force-generating and life-sustaining prop
critics; is invaluable in all enfeebled conditions,
whether the result of exhaustion, nervous pros
tration, overwork, or acute disease, particularly
if resulting from pulmonary complaints, Cas-
well, Hazard & Co., proprietors, New York.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1881-08-04
The RhinocerOs.

The rhinozerus lives in Ashar and you
kant stick pin in i'm cause his werskit
is bilt ov ole stoves. When II rhinozerus
is gonter be kid you muz alwaze go up
TO him from before soez he'll kno some
thin' ov it an try an max place for a
built to git in. His nose is got upper
teeth that's got no businez ware it liz,
an If boy should set down ON it he better
stay plugged up with the tooth rels he'll
be all one pore. I'd rather be a polliwig
il 1 wuz a rhinozerus, tho spose if 1
wuz l wooden't n't.-Littie johnnie.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1881-08-04

Chas. s. Strickland, Esq, Of 8 Boylston
Place, Boston, Mass, after relating his
surprising recovery from Rheumatism by
st. Jacobs Oil, says: cannot find
words to convey my praise and gratitude
to the discoverer of this iniment.-
Grand Rapids Times.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1881-08-04
A Lady,s Wish.

"Oh how do wish my skin was as clear and
soft as yours" said a lady to her friend. "You
can easily make it so," answered the friend.
"How?" inquired the first lady. "By using
blooming health. 1t did it for me, as you OBJ
serye"
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1881-08-04

We are pleased to say that our baby was per-
manently cured of serious protracted irregu-
larity Of the bowels by the use Of Hop Bitters
by its mother, which at the same time restored
her TO perfect health and strength. The Pa
rents, University ave-, Rochester, N. Y. See
another column.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1881-08-04

ONLY the genuine axle grease has the name
of Frazer on every package, and wears longer
than any other.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1881-08-04

Mr. VANDERBILT's income is marvellous so is
Amberg's Letter File. Try it. Cameron, Am
berg & Co., Chicago.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1881-08-04
now TO SECURE HEALTH,

It is strange any will suffer from arrangements
brought on by impure blood, when SCOVILL'S SARSA.
PARILLA AND STILLINGIA, or BLOOD AND LIVER
SYRUP will restore health to the physical organic 'tion.
pleasant to take, andthe BEST
BLOOD PURIFIER discovered, curing Scrofuia,
Syphtc disorders, Weakness of the Kidneys Erysipe-
las Malaria, Nervous disorders, Debility Bilious
plants and Diseases of the Blood, Liver, Kidneys,
Stomach Skin, etc.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1881-08-04

Don't Die in the House.
Ask Druggists for 'Rough on Rats" 1t clears
out rats, mice reaches, flies, bed-bugs. 15c.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1881-08-04

SILK first came from China, and the
Chinese still have many important secrets
connected with it unknown to Europe
ans. In good year they send as much
as $25, ,OO0, 900 worth of raw silk to En-
gland alone. The hanks" or books as
they are called. arrive with caps made Of
a single cocoon. This is done by pro-
cess unknown in Europe.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1881-08-04
WARNER's Safe Kidney and Liver Cure.


WEAK women-young or old, married or sin
gle, will be greatly benefited by Kidney Wort.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1881-08-04

BAKERS PAIN PANACEA cures pain in Man and
Beast.
DIR. ROGERS WORM SYRUP instantly destroys
WORMS.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1881-08-04

rmrvrr. /. Cured by German Asthma Cure. trial
ANVHM convinces the most skeptical. Free Of Dl.
AnAA1A B. scHirsxAxx, st. Paul, MINI.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1881-08-04

No family should be without LYDIA L PNKHAND
LIVER PILLS. They cure constipation, bniousnsD.
and torrddity Of the liver. IS oents per ben.
E Sold by all DFuggists. -6A
The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1881-05-18
Silk Culture.

From the Florida Mirror.
We have been informed by persons
who have had some experience in
silk worms, that there is no difficulty,
and but little trouble IN raising co.
coons OF the best quality in Florida.
The care of the worms, providing
them with food and proper shelter,
arranging proper temperature, is
all easy enough, although, like every
thing else, success is dependent upon
care and good judgement. The dis
position of the cocoon, they say, is
question to be settled. A market
where the cocoons could readily be
sold is what is desired In the alb.
sence OF this, the providing Of some
simple and easily managed ma.
chinery for reeliDg the cocoons is re
quisite.
We see it stated III the Savannah
NeacS that a Mr.. Serrell of New
\ ork, has invented an electric ma.
chine which will not only reel the
silk, but produce superior quality
of thread. The cocoons are said TO
be worth two dollars pound, but 1t
is not stated what is the value Of the
reeled thread.
We can readily arrange tor every
thing else if it can be shown that the
product can be sold readily at tail
price. We hope those who are in
terestIng themselves in the matter
Will furnish reliable statements of the
cost OF the machinery ior Keeling the
coeoous, the daily output of the ma
Chine, and the quantity and value o.
the silk which can be Produced from
! certain quantity of eggs, worms an(
The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1881-05-18
AdulteratiOn of Soaps.

Consumers Otsoap Should notneglect
TO inform themselves of the absence
of Intentional adulter ations. A very
old trick is TO increas e the weight OF
soap with water, bit as ordinary
soap soon looses this by evaporation
in the air, this deception will not
succeed unless the Soap is sold OH
quickly. There are two other meth
DDS OF Overwhelming. One consists
in putting in chemicals that are
adapted to hold this excess of water
in the soap, so that it losses little o.
nothing in weight Bullying, Another
way is to add some mineral substance
soluble or lnsoluble, to increase the
weight and diminish proportionally
the value of the soap.
When large consumers neglect to
to submit their soap to an examina-
zion they may suffer considerable loss
There is soap in the market that con-
tains rs per cent. water, and exter'
nally cannot bes Distinguished from
soap that contains only II per. cent.
Gelatinous substance are most fire.
quently used to retain the water in
soap, and at the same.t time an excel
lent filling. Alumina IN the hydrat.
ed form PERFORMS this service best.
The author detected this substance in
six samples of soap, which had over
60 per cent. water. and were sold by
their manufacturers at the same price
as anothermanutacturer sold soap with
"a per cent. Other gelatinous substan-
ces, like silica and organic substances
are used. They are easily detected
by chipping up the soap and dissol-
we'd it IN alcohol, in which they are
insoIuble, while pure soap is per-
iectly soluble. The undissolved
residue may be filtered out and
more carefully examined. Hot
water wlll dissolve the geIatine OF
glue leaving alumina, silica, etc, unaf>
tected. BY evaporating the aqueous
solution and weighing the residue,
the quantity OF gelatine can be guam
titatlvely determined, The silica ard
alumina can be dried, then ignited in
a platinum or porcelain cruclble, and
weighed.
Walerglass is frequently added to
soap; and, although it is not an iuju.
rious ingredient, such soap can be
made cheaper, and should be sold as
waterglass soap.
In some samples ,AeAaLhpr found
starch, gypsum, chalk, clay, phos-
phate OF lime, (bme ash), and
barytes, or blanc fixe, as the adul-
terent. All these can be separated
by dissolving the dry soap in alcohol.
The alcoholic solution may be evap-
Grated to dryness, dried at 2120
Fair, and weighed.
There is said to be more adultera-
ton in the Berlin Soaps than any
other; but in the little city of Mum
ster, out OF twelve samples from diff
terent factories, five were adul-
terated.
The author neglecS to mention
the fact that impure fats in a state OF
incipient decomposition are often en-
ployed, perfume being added to dis
gulse the odor.
The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1881-05-18
mnthers, naothers!! Mothers

Are you disturbed at night and broken OF
with the excruciating pain of cutting teeth? II
SO. 90 at once and get bottle of MRS. WIN
Slows SOOTHING SYRUP. 1t will relieve
the poor little sufferer immediately--depend
mon II there is no mistake about. There is
no mother on earth who has ever used it, who
will not tell you at once that it will regulate,
the bowels and give restto the mother,and re
lief and health to the child, operating like
magic. 1t is perfectly safe to use in all cases,
and pleasant to the taste, and is the perscr1p-
ton of one of the Oldest and best female phy-
sicians and nurses in the United States. Sold
everywhere. % cents bottle. 129tt
The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1881-05-18
81 Don't Want That Stuff"

Is what lady of Boston said to her
husband when he brought home
some medicine 10 cure her of sick
headache and neuralgia which had
made her miserable for fourteen
years. AT the first attack thereafter,
i. was administered to her with such
good results, that she continued its
use until cared, and made so enthusi;
astic in its praise, that she induced
twent, two OF the best families III
her circle to adopt it as their regular
family medicine. That "stuff' is Hop
Bitters. Standard.
The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1881-05-18
Cough Cold or Sore Throat

should be stopped. Neglect frequently results
is an Incurable Lung Disease or Consumption.
BI OWNS Bronchial TrOches are certain
to give relief in Asthma, Bronchitis, Coughs,
Cafarrh, Consumptive and Throat Diseases.
For thirty years the Troches have been recon-
mended by physicians, and always give per,
feet satisfaction. They are not new or untried
but have been tested by wide and constant
use for nearly an entire generation, they have
attained well merited rank among the few
staple remedies of the age. Public speakers
and Singers use them to clear and strengthen
the Voice. Sold at 25 cents box everywhere.
129tf b.
The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1881-05-18
A Safe and Sure

Means of restoring the youthful color Of
the hair is furnished by Parker's Hair
Balsam, which is deservedly popular
from it's superior cleanliness.
The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1881-05-18

FOR SALE ..,
By
.E.E. Ropes. voIusia,
FLORIDA.

FLORIDA.
No. 92. 80 acres two miles south of Ak
ron. $50 orange trees, just commencing
to bear. good, high and healthy, settle
ments On this tract. One-half mile fro MT
ON pretty lake. Price $1,100
No. los. Sc or sec 10, q, r 34.-16O acres
first class orange and sugar land, nearly all
hammock, 3 miles from Salt Lake steamboat
landing and the depot Of the railroad to Titus
vile. Price $40 per acre.
No. 1O5 B. half ofsw Or, Sc Or of sw or and
n half of Sc or, sec IA, q, I.-2OO acres,
within two miles from Salt Lake steamboat
landing. Mostly hammock; good sugar and
orange land. Price $40 per acre.
No. LOG. Sec &C. T 20, r 33.-633SO acres pine
woods and prairie, within two miles OF st.
ing at Lake Harvey. Excellent grazing land.
Price S. per acre.
No. LOT. 4sO acres in sections 2S and 90 7 20,
r 33.-On the east and south sides of Lake
Harvey. st. Johns river runs through this
tract and there is a good landing for steam
boats, Good grazing land. Price So per acre. =.
No. los. half sec 3, west half sec and e
half sec 0, T p, Range $500 acres good
grazing land in Orange County, three miles
fromSt. Johns river, Price So per acre.
155tf
No. 1OS. Lots 1oOx165 at Eau Gailie at $75 and
800. 20 acre lots near by at 5000. Near the
best fishing and best oysters i'll Florida
Healthy on the river front, and rich land back
from the river. Protected from cold by Lake
Washington. Good place for cane and the
more tender fruits, and very desirable fol
winter residences.
Some ofthe above described properties will
be sold on easy terms, OF exchanged for North
ern property. 157
The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1881-05-18
THE FLORIDA AGAICULTURIST.

pounds eff leaves; the length Of time
employed in producing a crop, and
how to dispose of the cocoon or OF
the reeled silk.