davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Louisiana capitolian. (Baton Rouge, La.) 1879-1881, 1881-06-11

from reaching the waistband of the
Burns breeches 7" and Mr.. Spoopendy Ike
tugged at the abbreviated coat and
snorted with wrath.
"Maybe that was the way it was
meant to co. argued Mrs Spoopendyke.
81 saw
"You sawed off the coat and pants,
s'pose you saw off a rod of this hat and
patch 'em out again! When did Crom-
we'll wear that hat! What kind of a
bet did he win that on9 "Say where's
the scaffold that goes with these measly
politicians? Fetch out the headsman"
and Mr.. Spoopendyke danced into the
closet and out again. where's the
louise that goes with the Burns part ?
Bring me some Charles l. to hide my
legs! Praise God from whom all bless
ings fiow,' for man was made to mourn
because his head was chopped off"
shrieked Mr.. Spoopendyke, combining
the historical ideas he represented in
one grand yell. "Fetch me three sup
pers for one dod gasted old idiot that
trusted his wife to find a suit for him ~
and Mr.. Spoopendyke thrust his arm to
the shoulder through the covenanter's
hat, and split the coat of the lamented
Louis from tail to collar band. "Look
out for some Scotch romancew and he
ripped off the pants and fired them into
the crate. "Here comes another page
in the annals of crimew and the boots
went out the window.
"And we-can't go-go to thomas
masquerade at all! !" sobbed Mrs. Spoop-
endyke.
"Write an epitaph on the back Of my
neck, and I'll 90 as tombstone" yawp'
ed Mr.. Spoopendyke. 'Put three bell;
in my side and torn stair carpet at my
back, and I'll 60 as French fat !! Dis
charge the hired girl and get up cold
dinner, and III 60 as u boarding house
But if you think Pm going to any meas
ly masquerade in bare legs like baby
and bare backed like circus, just t
advertise hymn book, a gin mill and
broad ak factory, you're left, Mrs. spoop
endyke. You hear me You're left :
and Mr.. spoopendyke drew on his nigh
shirt.
ats too awfully mean for anything,
unused Mrs. spoopendyke as she lai'
away the Spanish guitar girls COSTUME
and warmed up her crimping pins. 8
tried to get something that would sui
him, and he don't appear pleased wit
it. Another time III get him shee
and a pair of socks, so he can be,a Re
man senator, and if he is disappointe
and tears 'em up it won't cost SO much
With this profound reflection Mrs
, Spoopendyke said her prayers, an
planting her cold feet in Mr.. spooper
dykes stomach, sank gently to rest
Brooklyn Eagle.
Louisiana capitolian. (Baton Rouge, La.) 1879-1881, 1881-06-11
PRACTICAL IMPORTATION.

"What is rack rent, dad I" inquired a
young Comstocker who had been read
ing the news from Ireland.
The patient parent laid down the stock
list and replied: 'Do You know how
much l charge Mr.. Bogarty for his room
up stairsW
eyes sir, Sl2 a month"
"Well, now, suppose Mr.. Bogarty
should take it into his head to have, at
his own expense, new paper Oh the wall,
the ceiling whitened, and all the furni-
ture mended, the room would look
heap sight prettier, wouldn't it"
"Lor'" murmured the intelligent boy.
"Well, if the minute Bogarty had got
all these improvements made l should
go up and look around and smile and
jingle my money in my pocket and re-
mark: "This is pretty good sort OF a
layout for single man, Bogarty, and
you have altogether too soft a thing,
your rent will be $50 month hereafter,
what would you think of it ?"
The innocent child giggled and said
'That would be cheek, wouldn't it dad ~
"Bet your money on it, my boy re-
piled the father, beaming kindly upon
his offspring. "That would be rack
renting Mr.. Bogarty, and if he kicked
and claimed that all the Improvements
had been made by him without costing
me cent, and should fire him ont,
that would be eviction. | will now, +"
continued the parent, warming MP,
"briehy review the history of Ireland for
the past seven hundred years. When
Brian Berhu-"
But his son had fed.
Louisiana capitolian. (Baton Rouge, La.) 1879-1881, 1881-06-11
MISSED THE MASQUERADE.

"Say, my DEAR said Mr.. Spoken
dyke. as he hurried in, hot and breath
less, late from his business, "did you
get me fancy dress for the masquerade
tonight ?"
ats all ready" replied Mrs. spoop-
endyke, beaming. lyon go as-let me
see-I go as a Spanish guitar girl, and
you 60 as-as-it's either Louis Four
tenth, or Oliver Cromwell, or Sir Rob-
ert Burns, I've forgotten which the man
called it,"
II do, do / ?" said Mr. Spoopendyke,
glazing around. II go as one of'em DO
1? As they are all dead, and as will
do for all three, p'raps you got a coffin.
Show me the coffin. Fetch out the in
terconvertible catafalque and help me
on with it. Has it got sleeves ~
ut isn't coffin" explained Mrs.
Spoopendyke. ut is doublet, and"
ats doublet, is it ? Well, that re-
lieves me of one of 'em. ! thought from
the way you spoke, Mrs. Spoopendyke.
it was triplet. Is there trousers with
it? Got shirt l told You to get me a
bandit suit, didn't H. Fetch out this
Cromwell business. Show me this man
Burns! Any sword 90 with it'"
Mrs Spoopendyke brought forth a
worn red velvet jacket, trimmed with
furnished braid, and pair of yellow
knee breeches, slashed up the side.
This she supplemented with felt hat,
and q pair OF jack boots, armed with
spurs,
"Maybe it is a bandits suit after all,'
she suggested.
(Which is the Louis Fourteenth end
of this thingW demanded Mr.. SpOop-
endyke. "Where does the Oliver Crom-
well part begin Show me the Burns
element on this schedule If Pm going
to get into this thing chronologically, l
must begin with the measly king and
wind off with the dod gasted poet;
which is the king part ?" and Mr.. Spoop-
endyke shot out of his business suit and
drew on the velvet trousers. "Wheres
the rest ef'em?" he demanded, survey
ing an expanse Of unclothed limb. This
whole thing is only one leg. Where's
the pair for the other leg Give me some
more trousers" and Mr.. Spoopendyke
scowled about him.
Don't the boots come up to meet
them ?" asked Mrs. Spoopendyke, in
some trepidation.
Mr.. Spoopendyke pulled on the boots,
but still there was an exposed space of
nearly foot.
~ s'pose this barelegged arrangement
is the Burns part" grinned Mr.. Spoop-
endyke. ale was a Highlander, and
this much of me is Burns. Show me the
Cromwell part now. Is that hat it %
and Mr.. spoopendyke put on the hat
and breathed hard. "Where's the rest
of me My head and legs are all right
bring ont my back and stomach !"
Mrs. Spoopendyke handed him the
jacket and he plunged into it with a
jerk.
That what you wanted" he howled
Couldn't you make more than three
epochs of me Didn't the man have
but three historical datesl Pull that
Jacket down couple of centuries, CAM
you! Don't you see the bottom of thu
dod gasted thing is two hundred years
Louisiana capitolian. (Baton Rouge, La.) 1879-1881, 1881-06-11
ISABELLA AND PEDRO.

The last CLEAN of day was silvering
ing the waters of the Guadalqniver, at
the mouth of which stands the ancient
city of Valencia, as the congregation
was slowly departing from the cathe-
dral of Saint Cecilius. Among the last
O. the worshippers was young female
closely shrouded in mantilla. In her
hand she carried fan of the most ex-
quisite workmanship, seeminglymore for
ornament than use; behind her hob
bled an old duenna, who with difficulty
kept pace with tripping feet Of Donna
Isabella, for such was the name of the
maiden. Close by her side walked a
Young and noble-looking cavalier,
whose deep, dark eye was riveted upon
her, while ever and anon glances ofre-
cognition were exchanged between
them, till at length the suspicion of the
old lady was aroused, who, Selling the
arm of her young charge, quilted her
not till they reached noble mansion in
the neighborhood of the ever verdant
Glorietta.
Just as Donna Isabella was ascending
the stairs leading to the mansion, she
dropped her fan, as if by accident.
The opportunity was Immediately seiz-
ed by the young cavalier, who lifting it
unseen to the duenna, slipped within
its folds a billet, and kneeling, present
ed it to the blushing girl.
"You will not fail to meet me, as the
note says" he whispered, beseechingly.
"You understand ?"
II tumble,' was the maids reply.
That night, when the bell of Miqui.
let told the midnight hour, Isabella
stood in her balcony, which overhung
the garden. A slight movement was
soon heard among the orange foliage
and tall figure, shrouded in flowing
mantle, advanced and stood beneath thu
balcony.
care you ready ?" asked the mask.
go. KY answered the maiden, in
breath scarce audible from terror.
The next moment she was in the arm
of her lover.
"Now then for the chapel Of the near
est justice of the peace. Ere the sun
glints fall upon the Alhambra salool
you will be NINE"
"That morning you will never see,
cried man who advanced from an um
brageous shrubbery close by, and struc]
Pedro powerful blow behind the lef
ear.
The unfortunate man sank senseles
into the arms of his assailant, who Dor
| him swiftly away.
The next morning Donna Isabell
was buried in grief and percale wraT
per. Corsetless, and with tear-staine
cheeks, she sought her mother. ''The
have taken my Pedro, she cried despair
ingly. "Who could have done it W
at must have been the ten-spot 0
jack" responded the mother. "Notl
ing less could take it"
In one corner of the Valencia Gem
terry may be seen a grave, kept beaut
full by flowers which loving hands hay
/ strewn upon it. 1t is the grave of Do
ma Isabella. She died at the age
seventy-four, having raised seven chi
dren. This is not romantic, but "
f can bet your corset-strings On its beir
s a centre-shot on the truth. -Argonau.
Louisiana capitolian. (Baton Rouge, La.) 1879-1881, 1881-06-11
A ROMANCE OF oUROwN DAY.
CHAPTER /.

Pitou was in trouble. His cheek was
wan and his eye lustreless. He bit his
moustachios nervously and gazed abb
stractedly out of the shop window. The
sun was shining. The birds twittered
merrily in the trees. The human tide
poured down the street, some laughing,
all happy. But Pitoa was sad. Nobody
came to do business with him.
Nanine entered. She was Pitou's
daughter. She was also sad. There
were traces Of tears about her.
"Where are you, gong, my child ~
asked Pitou.
Nowhere, papa replied Naa;ne, u
am waiting"
waiting? And for whom!' inquired
Pitou.
"Jacques,' answered Nanine.
"Ah !" said PiSou.
CHAPTER IL.
Jacques was Nanine's lover. He was
also in love with Julie, the daughter OF
Pierre. Jacques was pleasant gentle
man, but he was poor. He was ambi-.
tious to link his destiny with a made
moiselle of financial ability.
jacques stalked gloomily down the
boulevard. He intended to visit Nanine,
but Pitou's shop wore adeserted appear
ance. The people passed it by and
surged in greas swelling pillows into
Pierre's shop. Jacques was quick to de-
tect this. He was man of the world.
"lfon Dieuw have had narrow es-
cape" he said to himself as he passed
Pitou's door and entered that of Pierre.
CHAPTER III.
'sYou have Gomez exclaimed Julie, as
| JACQUES clasped her TO his bosom.
SAnd you love me y asked Jacques.
giving hasty glance at the crowd Of
patrons in the shop.
Ere she could reply, Pitou and Naniile
stood in their presence.
'Monsieur. you are rascal. SAID
Pitou. "you have broken my Nanines
heart
i "No, Monsieur" said Jacques, "it is
you who have done this. Look around
you. This is Pierre's shop. All Is
thrift and prosperity. Wealth pours u.
Customers come in leagues to buy Of
Pierre. Return to your own shop and
look around you. You see deserted
space, goods unsold and bankruptcy
staring you in the face. Is it not SOP
Monsieur is right said Pitou, bow
| ing his head.
sLeave me with julie" said Jacques,
"Go back to your shop. Advertise III
TIE daily papers as Pierre has done, and
you may yet prosper, and Nanine may
{ yet find husband"
CHAPTER Nv.
, Pitou went. Next morning be had "a
3 double half column in the Times. That
week he sold sixty thousand francs
: worth of dry goods, and bought corner
t lot in Mulkey's addition. In two
4 months Nanine married plumber, and
: now lives in palatial residence, and il
the happy mother Of twins.
Q "Ah," says Pitou softly, 81 did well
;. to follow jacques advice"
Pitou's head is level. Well, yes. We
should smile.-Kansas City Times.
Louisiana capitolian. (Baton Rouge, La.) 1879-1881, 1881-06-11

The fellow who was much struck by
young LADY, wanted to return kiss for
the blow.
Louisiana capitolian. (Baton Rouge, La.) 1879-1881, 1881-06-11

Reeds Gilt Edge Tonic prevents Malaria
Louisiana capitolian. (Baton Rouge, La.) 1879-1881, 1881-06-11

Reeds Gil. Edge Tonic Restores III
Appetite.
Louisiana capitolian. (Baton Rouge, La.) 1879-1881, 1881-06-11

~ PICARD, New Orleans cheap store, dealer
VI. in dry goods, Laurel street, between La
fayette and Third.
Louisiana capitolian. (Baton Rouge, La.) 1879-1881, 1881-06-11

MRS. P. KAUFMAN, dealer in dry goods,
lNI fancy and family groceries, crockeryWare
and tinware, Main street.
Louisiana capitolian. (Baton Rouge, La.) 1879-1881, 1881-06-11

GEORGE y. BUCHEL, dealer in family gro
VI ceres, liquors, dry goods and plantation
supplies corner Main and jackson streets.
Louisiana capitolian. (Baton Rouge, La.) 1879-1881, 1881-06-11

TADOT IL Way, auctioneers, commission
81 merchants, office and salesro0m on 1hlrd' De-
tween Laurel and Florida streets.
Louisiana capitolian. (Baton Rouge, La.) 1879-1881, 1881-06-11

I UCAS LITTY, dealer in fruits and conlec,
Il tioneTios OF all kinds, nuts, etc. corner OF
Third and Laurel streets.
Louisiana capitolian. (Baton Rouge, La.) 1879-1881, 1881-06-11
VOL. 3.
ATTORNEYS.

II, G. BIRD, ATTORNEY AT LAW Will
". attend promptly to all business intrusted
to him. Office on Convention street, between
Third and Church streets, Baton Rouge, La
Louisiana capitolian. (Baton Rouge, La.) 1879-1881, 1881-06-11

NICHOLAS WAX, wholesale and retail gro.
~ Ger, dealer in plantation supplies, fancy and
staple groceries, wines, Liquors, crockery, cut,
lerv cigars and tobacco, St. Louis street
Louisiana capitolian. (Baton Rouge, La.) 1879-1881, 1881-06-11

~ a. L. ENOCHS, tombstones, mausolems,
" monuments. tomUs mead and foot stones,
Min street next 70 Pipers
Louisiana capitolian. (Baton Rouge, La.) 1879-1881, 1881-06-11
LOCAL DIRECTORY.

VOHN GASS, dealer in western produce, TO:
81 bacco, cigars, dry goods, clothing, corner OF
Sc. Ferdinand and Europe streets.
Louisiana capitolian. (Baton Rouge, La.) 1879-1881, 1881-06-11

M G. RANDOLPH, wholesale and retail
w grocer, and dealer in western produce,
wines and LIQUORS, Main street.
The Florida agriculturist., 1881-08-24
C,,,s Mystery Explained.

29O Is % the PsRReSg RstSSpf SF 9Eaa he
,,-,,,o,, system pin and stomach worms. 1t is
thH h%Ta rrescripton q of celebrated physician and
y ayeG tie fSe S@ dsn It Of RgsVng GT
1t mas slno1 s,o,1sonds of children by its timely
lives Of II has been put up in the form of pow
%eSShe aaS sod kS BY dSsdlE
ne ~, medicine ~ at % cents.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1881-05-31

FRIED CALT's HEAD.-Cut the rem
nants or boiled calf's head into cork
like pieces of uniform size, and put
them into basin to steep for an hour
or two In the following mixture
Equal parts of oil and vinegar (tarrag-
on), salt, pepper aud cloves, according
to taste. Have ready some batter,
made as follows: Beat up togeth er
the yolks Of two eggs, two tablespoon
fuls OF brandy, ono Of olive oil and
four or five Of cold water. Incorpor-
ate with this mixture three table.
spoonfuls of -four and a pinch of salt
keep on beating 1t for some time, and
add as much more water as will make
1t OF proper thickness. When ready
to use the batter stir into it quickly
the whites Of two eggs whisked to q
froth. Well drain the pieces of calf's
head, dip them in the batter and fry
In plenty of boiling hot lard; as they
are dono sprinkle them with very fine
salt, and serve on napkin with fried
parsley.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1881-05-31
DOMESTIC.

WHITE AND CLEAN TEBrH.-C.eanli- =
ness of the teeth is to the eye what
purity of breath Is to the sense Of
smelling. Nothing, indeed ,ls more de =
sTable In the appearance Of q lady than
clean, white teeth, and the gums tho
color Of the rose; nothing more repul-
sive than unclean, discolored and un-
cared for teeth ,thickly 1ncrustsd with
tartar. The most beautiful face and
lips are disagreeable ii thelatter, when
open, exhibit the offensive spectacle
Of neglected teeth. Tie whiteness Of
teeth is liable to be lost by the influence
ished by the action Of different ele-
ments and by the exhalations of the
stomach. When the loss Of whiteness
is occasioned by the production Of
tartar; a coral stick may be used to
clean bhe teeth and to remove the tar
tarous salt; the blaokness Of the teeth
may be sometimes corrected by pulver-
izing equal parts of tartar and salt,
and, after washing the teeth, rub them
with this powder, The gums cannot
be healthy unless they are firm and
red and adhere to the roots Of tho
teeth-these quantities depending in a
great measure on the health. The
gums are liable to a variety Of acci-
dents which impair both their health
and beauty, and which often transform
them into very unsightly objects.
Sometimes they grow soft, swell and
appear full of liquid and corrupted
blood, at others, they project and COW
er great part of the teeth; they also
become inflamed, painful and affected
with offensive ulcers. A good oleaus-
ing mixture may be made by ama]ga-
mating all ounce Of powdered myrrh,
two spoonfuls of white honey, and a
little green sage In fine powder; wet
the gums with very little OF this at
night and morning. Powdered chal =
coal Is also an affective article tor
cleansing and Whitening.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1881-05-31

HAIR REsToRATIvE.-A powerful
restorative for the hair is half an
ounce Of oil of mace in pint Of deo-
dertzed alcohol. Pour spoonful or
two into saucer; dip small stiff
brush into 1t, and brush the hair
smartlv, rubbing the tincture well into
the roots. On bald spots, If hair will
start at all. it may be stimulated BY
friction with piece of flannel till the
skin looks red and rubbing the tinct-
9re into the scalp. The process must
pe repeated three times day for
weeks. When the hair begins to grow
apply the tincture once day till the
growth is we'll established, bathing the
mead In cola water every morning and
orlskly brushing 1t to bring the blood
TO the surface.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1881-05-31
"JMOROUs.

MATURE reflection: "My darling,
have you thought Of the happy summtr
that our lives will be when we are
joined for better or worseP"
"Oh yes, John, I've thought Of It,"
And have you thought of the
bright home that we will build on the
Foundation of our affection, and which
will be painted with the dying flashes
OF tho sun and furnished with the sill
yer and gold that makes the night Of
heaven beautifulP"
"Oh ye', John, I've thought of it,"
"Have you thought OF the years that
Will come to US across the sea Of time,
white-capped but blue with promises
OF years to comep'
"Sure's you're born, John, I've
"And have you thought-p have
you-p have"
COIL yes, John, moro than all the
rest, and, John, let us name it after
youP''
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1881-05-31
"A Turtle Race.

One Of MaEk Twain's funniest
sketches is '"rhe Jumping Frog" 1t
appears from the following taat there
isa good deal of sport In turtles If any,
body would take tho pains to get it
out. An Indian near Buffalo is the
twner ofta swapping turtle nearly 70, r
feet in length with bill that ould
twist an iron bar. He kept it as a De. .
One day at The tavern, tho conversa-
ton turned on turtles, and young
farmer In tho party began to boast of
turtle that he had, and which he was
willing to wager would travel faster
than any turtle in the State. The IN
dian, after long farapgue, accepted
the challenge, and 1t WAS decided that
the two turtles should be masched in a
hundred and fifty yard race, stakes to
be gallon of apple jack and the tur.
Ties. The next day q crowd gathered
near the river to see tho race, and the
contestants soon appeared, the Indian
wheeling his favorito In wheelbar-
row. A cord was run along the edge
of tho stream, and tho futile whose
head first pa: sed it was to be tho vim
Ler. The turtles were placed side by
side 100 feet fl ON the wst,r, At the
word they started encouraged or
frightened by the yells of their owners.
For the first fifty feet the little one
kert ahead. and then the big snapp, r
in response to blow on his back.
spurted ahead scratching gravel in a
way that made mud turtle stock 90
down with rush; but 1T was either
over or under trained so that as thew
neared the line it was two lengths be-
hind, while the littlo fellow had
scented mud ahead and with its head
high in the air was inn rowing the pace
In compound proportion as the dis.
tance diminished. A few seconds
more and 1T was within two feet CT the
llne, tho txultant owner cheering and
tho crowd yelling, while the large
snapper was nearly three feet behind.
The mud turtle was clearly the victor,
when tho Indian, thoroughly disgust
ed. sized a burning knot from pile OF
brush ana hurled 1t at the snapper,
striking 1t fairly on the tail. Starting
aheau IN terror 1t thrust out Its long,
snake-like neck just over the line three
inches ahead OF the little one winning
tho race and completely turning tho
tables aid the direction Of tho Nov of
apple Jack.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1881-05-31
Guilty OF Wrong.

Some people have a fashion of con-
fusing excellent remedies with the
large mass of ."patent medicines" and
In this this they are guilty of wrong.
There are some advertised remedies
fully worth all that is asked for them,
and one at least we know of-Hop Bit
ters. The writer has had occasion to
use the Bitters in just such climate
a. we have most of the year In Bay
City, and has always found. them to be
tirst-class and reliable, during all that
IS claimed for them.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1881-05-31

IoULE'r LA MARENGO.-Cut off a
fowl In joints as for fricassee; fry the
pleces-dofng the thighs first, as they
take longer than the rest--in olive oil.
well-seasoned with salt, pepper, a
bunch of sweet heros and a handful of
mushrooms. Melt ono ounce Of butter
and ada to 1t one ounce Of flour, mois-
ten 1t with white stock, glass of
white wine and two tablespoonfuis of
tomato sauce. Into this sauce incor-
porate very gradually (stirring well
all the time) the greatest part Of the
OIL In which the fowl was fried. Ar
range the fowl in dish, pour the
sauce over it, and garnish with the
mushrooms and with strips of hard.
polled eggs; trufiles may also be added.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1881-05-31
No Moro Hard TImea

If you will stop spending 50 much
On oo me clothes, rich food and style, buy
good, healthy food, cheaper and better
ciothihg; get more real and substantial
thtngs of life every way, and especi-
ally stop the foolish habit of employ
ing expensive quack doctors or using
30 80 m9ch OF the vile humbug medicine
tliaC does you only harm, but put vour
GPust n,!s In That simple pure remedy Hon
nltters; That cures always at a trlflinp
t, Gose, ana You will see good times and
nave good health. '
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1881-05-31

WHEN Dubnfe's celebrated paintings
Of "Adam ana Eve" were on exhibit
tlon at Edlnburg, M. McNab, the
curator Of the Botanical gardens in
that city, was taken to see them, and
was asked for his opinion. 81 think
no great things Of the painter" re-
marked the authority on gardening.
'Why, man, Eve tempting Adam wi'
a pippin' O. a variety that wasn't
known until about twenty years ago -
This was as suggestive bit Of crlti-
clsm as that of the farmer who told
George Morland that he had never
s'en three little pigs feeding without
one of them having its feet in the
trough, Moreland altered the picture.