Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1881-11-12

BILL NYE ON THE M

BILL NYE ON THE MORMONS.
Isalt Lake City Letter to Laramie Boomerang.
[ am here and registered at tnt
Walker house as Billy the Kid. There
was nothing remarkable about my
trip here, unless it was this: A man
who had evidently been wrestling
with q leather covered bottlelof luncf,
allday on board the sleeper, had his
berth made up early, and retired. He
left the rest OF us to talk among our
selves, whenever there was a lull i'll
the snoring so that we could max
ourselves heard. About ten O'Clock
avery gloomy looking foot was thrown
out across the aisle of the Car. Some
how a large, irregular-sbaped alabas-
ter foot, when introduced among a
group of people unexpectedly that
way, seems to change the current OF
conversation to other things. A
Young man from New York stepped
to the front aud hung q vaiise on the
extended hoof. and that produced the
desired effect. l met the man who
made the regular autumn pun OH my
name, az usual. The question is au-
tumn / to make a pun on another
mans name every time he sees him !
Salt Lake last evening presented II
very beautiful sight, and yet all al
fecting one. The brilliancy of the
electric light contrasted strangely
with the somber emblems of mourn
ing along the beautiful street. 1t is
generally believed here by the Cen
tiles that the Mormon population, for
the sake of policy, are carrying out
the semblance of sorrow over the
death of the president, but that, it
the masses were not well under the
control of the Mormon leaders, the
genuine feeling of rejoicing would
drop out. ! went over to the taber-
nacle to-day to listen to the remarks
of the Latter. Day Saints. Most every
one knows all about the temple and
the tabernacle as well as l do. The
latter looks on the outside like a mud
turtle, and OH the inside like a big
rink. 1t is claimed that this struc.
ture will hold about $4,000 people, aud
to-day it was full. So were some OF
the apostles. The entire end of the
tabernacle in which are the galleries
and the organ was draped in deep
mourning, all the pulpits and desks
beng entirely covered, and the NAM
moth organ itself draped heavily
with black Grape. l wish | could de-
scribe the general appearance of the
congregation and the different types
of faces visible in the crowd. There
are three mammoth doors at each
side aud several at each end, and
through these double doors the audi
ence came in, apparently all at once.
! and my friend YER shown a seat
down near the front among a lot OF
old cast off wives, where we could
hear pretty well. The odor of bogus
sanctity aud Mormon pervaded the
air. It is a good thing the Tabernacle
is large and we'll ventilated, or no
QUE could live there while the services
are gone through with. A big, ia,
apostle, with the back of his neck
over his collar like q car
buncle, made q few remarks after the
He paused occasionally and
up through the skylight to
think of a big word, aud a brother
sDoozer sat near him, in the holy OF
holies, and ate gum drops out of a
paper bag. They all played it that
they were slowly piniDg awsy Owe
the death of the president but they
were about as happy looking Nor
mons as I ever saw. Another apostle1
then turned loose with q wall over
The dead president, which for bad
and general vaculty took the
cake. He was followed by George @.
Cannon, who said that although Pres |
ident Garfield had expressed himself
severely toward the Latter
Day Saints, he was after all at heart
very friendly to this people. Accord
ing to his story, the president was
a Mormon in sentiment, and
had expressed great sympathy for the |
outfit. The crowd sa,
AMI suffered through it all without
knowing much what was
said. The elders and bishops occas-
went to sleep, and bumped
their noses on their pulpits. About
lwo thousand babies walled at inter-
vals through the two hours, aud man.
the only genuine grief that
was shown. l thought l had seen
iomely women before, but to-day |
vas reserved for me a spectacle Of
Mormon hideousness that will haunt
ne always. In my opinion, polygamy
its own punishment along with |
It. 1t is sufficient punishment for the
men to stay in the house with the
creatures they Gail their wives,
and the women get enough suffering
but of living with their husbands. IL
have said some mean things about
The Mormons, but the more | know
about them the more l despise myself
Tor the weak and inefficient way l
have attended to this matter. One
of the features of Salt Lake City is
the festive red man. The average red
man who visits Zisn is not 80 hand
some as the steel engraving of him
that you,find on the greenback. He
is not Oh the war path. l went among
him with my usual fearlessness and
proud bearing. l went up this morn
ing and looked at the Endowment
/ didn't have my endo wment
along, and SO 1 didn't go in. If
holiness to the Lord was made II
gigantic joke it is here. The idea OF
a woman with oleemar-
and running her through
lions rink with the sickly attempt
to make 1t all impressive, is 80 ridi-
culous and yet so s%acrilegious that l
am unable to do the subject Justice.
If my readers could have seer the ar
ray of bishops, elders, etc., that con-
gregated yesterday i'll the main per-
forming ring of the hippodrome, l
know they would agree with me that
there isn't q gravel train Oh the Union
Pacific that couldn't produce a bigger
mass of intellect, take the men as
they average right through, than did
these old humpbacked patrisrchs who
claim that they are designated by the
Lord to lead his chosen people up out
of darkness into light. Ii it be re-
ligious for a brigade of lecherous old
hogs to ride YER a horde of ignorant
people who are only one netcA above
the animal creation, and to rob them
year after year in the name of God, 1
hope that l may not be regarded as
strictly orthodox in this valley OF the
N Tern Jordan, These DeODle p0int