Democratic Northwest. [volume] (Napoleon, Ohio) 1869-1894, 1881-05-19

inquisitive old gentleman Of a botanica,
turn of mind, who inquired OF the gard
ener in one Of the public places OF prom
enade: Pray, my good man, can you
inform me II this particular plant be-
longs to the 'Arbutus' familyI" when he
received for reply: mo, sir; il don't it
belongs to the Corporation" This same
remark applies to that ambitious young
lady, who was talking very earnestly
about her favorite authors, when one of
the company inquired if she liked Lamb.
With an indignant toss OF the head. she
answered. that she "cared very little
about what she ate, compared with
knowledge" Doubtless the party who
put the question felt more amused by the
answer than the parish priest did, who,
observing an Irish girl at play on a Sun
day, accosted her with: "Good-morn-
ing, daughter of the Evil One:" when she
meekly replied: "Good-morning, father. :"
Many an amusing mistake has been
made by people hard of hearing. We
are told that a certain Dean of Ely was
once at dinner. when just as the cloth
was removed, the subject of discourse
happened to be that of extraordinary
mortality among lawyers. 1--WE have
lost, said gentleman, mot less than
seven eminent barristers in as many
months" The Dean, who was very deaf,
rose just at the conclusion of these re-
marks. and gave the company grace;
'For this and every other mercy, make
us devoutly thankful" On another oc-
casion, at military dinner in Ireland.
the following was on the toast-list:
''May the man who has lost one eye in
the glorious service of his beloved coun-
try never see distress with the other"
But the person whose duty it was to read
the toast accidentally omitted the word
''distress," which completely changed
the sentiment, and caused no end Of mer-
riment by the blunder.
Another instance may be quoted, if
only to show how careful people should
be in expressing themselves on public oc-
casions. A church in South London had
been erected, when a dinner was given,
at the conclusion of which the health of
the builder was proposed, when he rath-
er enigmatically replied that he was
more fitted for the scaffold than for
public speaking"
On the other hand, some mistakes, all
though amusing, are not altogether COM
plimentary. Few. for instance, would
care to indorse an observation which fell
from the lips of a gentleman. after gaz-
ing some time at the skeleton of dom
key, and admiring and wondering at the
structure of that despised animal. "Ah,"
said he, 1--WE are fearfully and wonder
fully made" Equally as good was that
of the greenhorn who at menagerie
was particularly interested in baboon.
Several persons were present, one of
whom expressed the opinion that it was
a lower order of the human species. This
so nettled the countryman, that he inn
mediately exclaimed: "Pooh, pooh! he's
no more human species than we be-"
The late Lord Lansdowne used to re-
late that when, after Turner the painters
death, he went to the artists house on
foggy morning, in the hope of getting
peep of his reserved works, the old wo-
man in charge, looking up through the
area railings. took him for the cats meat
man, and bawling up, told him he
needn't come again, as the cat had died
the day before. "-Chombers' Journal.