West Virginia freeman. (Parkersburg, W. Va.) 1881-1886, 1881-11-23
THE FARCE OF THE AGES.

Association Temperance Meeting,
is the fact that the whisky men are
weeping themselves all away to
tears because preachers are losing
their influence in the work Of saw
ing souls by dragging politics into
the pulpit.
The "Farce of the Ages" has
been starred all over the country
wherever the license issue has been
raised. While the cast of the play
has varied in different localities,
and under different circumstances,
yet the general plot is always the
same, with drunkenness and de-
bauchery as the roaring finale.
The curtains are always rung up
with the election campaign, when,
with clatter of bands and footing of
from 5ones, big-lunged orators shout
the battle cry Of "Restric ted Ii
cense and the Enforcement of Law"
After the election act, the plot
generally proceeds without any
further allusion to the campaign
watchword. Licenses are restricted
to those who apply for them, and
the law is enforced against those
alone who never violate it.
1t was reserved, however, to the
present year of our Lord, 1881, for
that rare genius that occasionally
crops out along down the avenuesof
the ages, TO re-cast the entire play,
modernize the plot, and to put
series of entirely original and
strikingly novel scenes upon the
stage, that have been eminently
calculated to shake loose from all
spinal connections the ribs of our
entire populace, by the very ridic-
ulousness of the startling represen-
tations.
Our own citizens fully under
stand, but for the benefit of Our
readers throughout the State, we'll
briefly outline the history Of the
"Farce of the Ages" as on the
boards in Parkersburg for the sea-
son of 1881.
After the usual spectacular dis
plays of the election act in Jan,
1881, the company for the season.
in connection with the customary
"Scene Second" that of telescoping
all their campaign pledges and
promises in reference to the liquor
question, by diving through and
turning them all inside out,
conceived the idea Of attaching to
the performance, as sort of side
show, what has been commonly
accepted as the Roaring Resolu-
ton" accompaniment, though class
ically styled, "The Resolution q Ia
Revoke"
That is to say, the City Fathers,
as the company, solemnly resolved
by a unanimous vote, and nad the
same sacredly recorded, that they
would grant licenses to sell liquors
to all applicants without limit, but
that they would require all licensed
dispensers Of this murderous liquid
to so distribute the burning poison
as to kill strictly according to
law Ga very radical and remarkable
requirement it may be observeO !;
and, Third Eve now quote literally
from the records of the Fathers, and
this is the gist and essence of the
new departure in the play),-please
note and remember:
Resolution 3D.-"That every vi
olation Of the law regulating such
sale, or violation of the ordinance
or ordinances relating to the traffic
in liquors shall, upon the convic-
ton Of the person or persons so Of
Tending, either before the Recorder
of the city or Circuit Court Of the
county, work a forfeiture Of such Ii
cense for the remaining portion of
the year for which it was granted,
when duly passed upon by the
Council"
The 4th made it the duty of the
Recorder and City Attorney to re-
port such convictions to Council.
So far, so good. The first scene
passed off brilliantly, with much
pomp and parade, closing with a
sort of victorious pantomimic can
can, sung to the air of
80, were you meier school boy,
And did you never train"
with the words paraphrased and
| j i