The Canton advocate. [volume] (Canton, D.T. [S.D.]) 1877-1897, 1881-02-24

ner. The girl was cured of one folly,
but took serious fancy to the one who
administered the rather unpleasant
medicine.
CONGRESSIONAL AIR.
What Took the Frills out Of q Newly
Elected Member.
San Francisco Post.
He was shrewd, white-headed old
gentleman tourist who sat slipping a
lemonade in the Baldwin bar room the
other day, and who remarked as a self
important looking individual came in
and ordered whisky straight.
"Now, s'pose that gentleman is one
ofyour business fellows, and owns about
two-thirds Of the real estate round
here"
"No;" we replied, "he's much
greater parsonage. He is one of the
successful candidates of the late cleo
ton"
II might have known it," exclaimed
the old gentleman, emphatically. "He
acts just as l did when l was elected to
cong1 ess."
"How was that?'
"Well, you see, was elected Nj. C.
from the fourth district just after the
war. We had a pretty lively campaign
of it, and as I had never been in poll
tics before l somehow got the idea that
the whole country had quit work and
was watching my contest with quiver-
ing anxiety. Every time the other
side accused me of being a chicken
thief, or bigamist, or som ething, and
I'd back at them with a card in the
RedriUe |Varauhoop. headed: Another
Lie Nailed!' I'd send a marked copy
to every leading paper in the country"
"Did you?"
eyes; and | was disguised to find
they never paid the slightest attention
to me either. What surprised me
most was that, although l kept the
president and cabinet advised of every
thing that occurred, l never got the
slightest sympathy from any of them.
l was an administration man, too, and
l thought it was blamed singular
'Didn't notice you at all?''
" Not at all, sir; and when 1 was
elected. and the boys lighted bonfire
in the main street, and serenaded me,
and spocke six hours in the open air
as to my future course on the tariff
and finances, the New York papers
merely said that "a Mr.. Gum had
been elected by small majority my
name being Gonley, as you know
That was hard"
"Well, put that all down to envy
and malice, and l started for Washing
ton. I expected that at least the
speaker of the house, and committee
appointed by the senate would be down
at the depot to welcome me to the capi.
toll"
"They did so?''
"The only persons that met me were a
committee of hackmen, who tore my
overcoat half of, rammed me into a
hack, and robbed me, with the aid and
assistance of the hotel clerk, who then
gave me dark room on the top floor
and asked the first weeks board in ad.
vance; said it was the rule of the house
with Arkansas members"
i" The impudent rascal"
That what thought. Well, the
next morning got away from the
bed-bugs as we'll as I could, and went
up to the white house to see if the
president would like to stroll down to
the house to introduce me and see me
sworn in. / sent up my card, and in
an hour or two some secretary or othel
sent back word that the president was
at breakfast and couldn't be bothered. ,
That was pretty short, wasn't it,"
"Well, l was just dumfounded. How.
ever, [ went down to the capitol and
told the sergeant-at-arms to go in and
announce to the members that J. haC
arrived. He grinned and said: That's
devilish good, that is;' and rushed off
l expected that of course the members
would come crowding up to congrat
ulate me, and say something like
Magnificent speech Of yours, tina,
last one, Conley, Beat EN- by forty
eight votes, too, old fellow And ther
mebbe they'd give me three cheers
and all that sort of thing"
"And did they?"
"No, sir; [ hope l may never stir il
they didn't give me back seat in the
cloak-room until my name was called
and adoor-keeper fred me cutinto the
corridor twice on the impression that
was a lobbyist. Well, after 1 had beer
put on the joint committee on spittoon'
and window washing, and spent {
couple Of months trying to wedge il
my great four hour speech on tn.
match tax, someth ng occurred that le
down my check rein, and took all tn,
frills out of me for good"
"What was that?"
"Well, / was taking a drive out t
the Soldiers Home one afternoon will
three other members when q ligh
buggy went up like streak of CREASED
lightning, the trotter driven by sol
elnn-looking man in a, plug Eat, wht
was smoking cigar and steadying {
small terrier with his elbow. That,
Butcher Boy said one Of my com
panions with great interest; he trOts ii
twenty. He's a rattling good stopper
bet your life
Did you notice that dogY said an
other. Best bred pup in town--tai
no bigger than rat-infernal fine dos
that
As l had nothing else to say Icasually
inquired who the driver was.
why, that's the president, said one
of them with yawn. BY Jovp, how
I'd like to have one of those pups!'
That settled it. I've bee as meek
and sad as car-horse pulling a picnic
ever since"
Raising Shetland Ponies in Texas
San Antonio (Tex.) Express.
Mr.. B. H. Robb, Of the Don Carlos
ranch, locatedjust above Leon Springs
this county, arrived yesterday with
five more beautiful Shetland ponies
Mr.. Robb, behind q pretty pair o
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