The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-06-09
THE MILD MAN FROM MENTOR.

He sauntered along Pennsylvania avenue with
the air of a man catching his first inspiration in
the capital of his country. He looked 40, with
n cOuntenance like n church ritual Added to
this a reverential stoop of the shoulders that
made him appear the very prose of piety. His
rustic manners caught the attention of three
flashily dressed young bloods, who instantly con-
spired for some rich sport. Confronting the pill
grim, they worked mp the following catastrophe:
'ilello, old friend! Taking in the city :" said
No. |.
''Yaas," was the placid reply. 'Teome over to
see Jim through"
..Jimi Who's Jmr
'why, Jim Garfield. Him an me are ole
neighbors."
''Ah, indeedl You are here to assist at the in
augural ceremonies ?" was the snickering
jOinder.
sswaal, reckon that's it. Jim an me hev
been intermate for twenty years"
"Glad to hear it. We're the Committee on Ar
rangements, and we'll do You proud. Shake"
And they gave him the pump-handle shake,
the vibrator, walking-bea cross-rnt saw, log
litter, lightning -ierker, stump puller, wrist
wrencher and seam-ripper shakes, and when the
old man got loose he was bare-head, contorted,
and led a bushing lobster. There was strange
CLEAN in the mild gray eyes as he remarked be-
nignly:
member of the Christian church quite SPELL
But when old Adam gifts the upper hand on me-
can't exactly answer for consequences. I'm glad
TO meet ye, young men; but don't We think yer
little bOisterOus ~
ooh, nor said No. 2. CHATS our style. An
etiervesee of good feeling, as it were. All on
Jim's account, You know. But, say, John, don't
you think the Elders coat is short {" lie chuck
led, as he lifted the flowing jeans that hung
down like huge saddle-ilaps
"les, We must splice il before put him ut
the head of the procession. And look at this
neck tie 7" he exclaimed as he caught one of the
ends and icrked loose a yard of faded black silk
I'm not sure that his shirt-bosom is fly enough
for the occasion" he continued, as he unbuttOncd
the Elders vest.
aren't those pants little too long for the re-
ception 81 said No. I, with an inhuman grim
mace, as he pointed to an interlude between the
jeans and cowhide shoes.
ITO be sure" said No. ,, ''As Committee on
Arrangements, it is our duty to shape the Elder
up. Preachers, now, abbreviate sermons, sala-
res and brooches. Permit me to harness you up
Elder
The Elders vest bcingopcn, the intrepid swells
seized the snspcndcrs and ran the buckles up on
the STOPPING shoulders hoisting the brooches like
drnp-cnrtain, and disclosing street scene in
which Christian Elder appeared in short tights
and blue WOODEN socks. Then No. =. crushed the
old wool hat down over the mild, gray eyes, and
the tableau drew "A riOtous encore from a crowd
Of hoodlums gaping on.
Then-well, then there seemed to he an elec-
trical phenomenon kind of an atmospheric eN-
plosiOn; kind of a muscular cyclone ripping and
snorlIhS arouhd, Whool'lhs up tue art anu
pitching and tossing and thumbing about tire.
human carcaSSes with indiScribablc energy.
When the local conclusion subsidized, No. l was
cured up in the gutter, splitting blood; No.
was tracked through a basement window to an
inscnsible pile of anatomy the ground floor !;
No. , was found on the top of a street ear which
passed at the time of the molecular paroxysm.
am Elder Zacariah ladkins" remarked that
sant-like parsonage, as he stood with both hands
under his cOat-tails, calmly reading the signs on
the buildings. give belonged to the Christian
church quite u spell. I've come over to see Jim
through, and hope my meetin' the committee
on arrangements wont spile the programme. II
you fellers know emmy more of 'em wantin' TO
shape me mp for the pereession, tell 'em not to
take trouble. 1t gifts me bothered"
The crowd didn't know of any, and with
a serephic smile the Elder sauntered away to see
linn