The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1881-11-29
A HITCH AT A WEDDING.
II T HATE to see hitch in we'd
ill., - r...... -

Il din, remarked farmer from out
Jamaica, way, as he dropped into the
Eagles counting room with nuptial
notice; ut looks bad, and 1t makes
talk.''
Anything wrong about this we'd
ding 2'' asked the clerk, as he made
change for the old man.
Nothing positively wrong, but it
didn't launch like want to see things
of that kind. You seen by the notice
that Buck Thomas was marryin' Mary
Biff, and at one time we began to think
they never would get through that cere-
mony."
"What was the hitch 2"
"Why, Buck is a Methodist and
Mary is 'Piscopalian, and as one want
ed one service and the other another,
they patched up some kind of scheme
to have both. Neither would go to the
others church but each had their own
minister and the weddin' came off in
the school house. The 'Plscopal min
lister married Mary, and the Methodist
undertook to marry Buck, and there
they was takin' alternate whacks at the
thing and neither payn' any attention
to the other. The Methodist brother
fired off q sermon first, and the bride
sat down and went to sleep. Then the
'Piscopaian said as how we'd all drop
ped in to see the woman fined, but he
wouldn't say who to, and wanted to
know if there was any objections. That
started up the Methodist, who asked
Buck if he knew what solemn business
he was peggin' at, and if he really
meant trade. All that time the 'Pisco-
palian was howlin' round about this
woman, and Mary was sayin' she'd do
this, that and the other thing. The
Methodist was marryin' away on his
side, and finally they brought up agin'
stump"
"How's that ?" asked the clerk
"Well, the 'Piscopalian wouldn't rec
ognized Buck or his minister, and the
Methodist wouldn't have anything to
do with Mary or her minister, and there
was no way of gittin' 'em together
Everything was already except askin'
them if they'd take each other, and
neither of 'em would do it. Mary and
Buck was standin' hand in hand, and
the crowd was gettin hungry"
'How did they get through it?"
"They had to compromise. They
wrangled around for time and finally
Buck spoke up of his own accord and
said he'd take Mary for his welded
wife, and Mary Clipped in and said
she'd take Buck for her husband. At
that we all cheered and hollered. But
there they pumped on another snag."
"In what respect 2" inquired the
clerk
Because there was no one to pro-
nounce them man and wife. Buck
tried to reason Mary into lettin' the
Methodist do that part, and Mary argu-
ed with Buck and tried to persuade him
to listen to her preacher but it was no
use. That brought on another row,
and as it was gittin' nigh unto dark we
all felt that something ought to be done,
as we'd been there most all day."
"Well, did they get married ?" asked
the tired clerk.
eyes, we fixed it up. The ministers
were gettin' purity mad at each other,
but they agreed that they'd each attend
to their own flock, so the Methodist
said, Il pronounce you man. and the
'Piscopalian said, Il now pronounce
you wife, and they let it go at that
Then Buck paid the Methodist, and the
'Piscopalian wanted to know where he
came in. Buck said he'd hired his man
and paid him, and,as he was not respon-
BILE for his wife's foolishness before mar
riage, her parson could whistle for his
wealth. 1 guess there'll be lawsuit
about it, for the 'Piscopallan says he'll
have half of that fl dollars if it takes a
leg short off to the armpit. don't like
to see them bitches at weddins. 1t don't
look right and it amt business"
With which reflection the old man
pocketed his change and drove Off in
deep meditation.
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