The Brookhaven ledger. (Brookhaven, Miss.) 1875-1883, 1881-11-24
sMisrellaay.
Toung Fools that Marry.

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Young Fools that Marry.
An exchange has the following
item which may seem all right. bul
it will get some young fellows back
broke yet.
can Illinois justice has decided
that courting is public necessity,
and must not be interrupted; there.
fore if a young man wanted to kiss
a girl he might put her father out
of the room first if he liked"
The publication of theabQye item
may cause some smart yo4th to do
something he will regret. he lame,
sickly-lookipg father of a girl may
come into the parlor. some. might
and And the warm-haired youth. on
THE sofa with the gira, aridwlen the
old man speaks ofit being ting sto
stop such nonsense, the ,youpg4Aal,
with the above Judicial deeiaofisin
his mind, will tell bis prospective
father.in.law to wipe oR6is vest and
Ego stogs beds Tue old man will then
[spit On his shalids.rand grasp tie
warm AIRED .ydNpg pan. by the
|cen1tY esat 4nH tie him np.fn a
double Bow. knot, and pin q scarf On
hlm, and throw him out on the path
to the gate, and then lie will turn
and slap the girl across where the
dress is pleated, and she will 60 up
stairs with her hand on her heart,
as it were, and the old man will
jump up and say "Whoop" The
young men of this country have got
gall enough about visiting girls in
the evening at their homes without
filling their heads with any such
ideas in regard to their legal rights.
There are very few fathers who
would quietly submit to being told
to go away by youth with stri-
ped neck tie and pants too short at
the bottom. These sparkers are
looked upon by parents generally as
a nuisance, and often:they are ght.
Nine-tenths of the sparkling is done
by boys who haven't got their
growth, and they look so green that
it is laughable for old folks to look
at them. They haven't generally,
got a second shirt, and they are no
more qualified to get married than a
steer is to preach. And yet marry
ing is about the first thing they
think of. A green boy without a
dollar, present or prospective, spark
ing girl regularly and talking
of marrying is spectacle for gods
and men. He should be reasoned
with, and if he will not quit it un-
til he is able to support a wife, and
to know who he loves, and the diff
ference between love and passion,
he should be quarantined or put in
convent erected on purpose for
such cases. Nine-tenths of the un-
happy marriages are the result of
green human calves being allowed
to run at large in the society pas
ture without any yokes on them.
They marry and have children be-
fole they do moustaches; they are
fathers of twins before ethey are pro-
prietors of two pairs Of pants, and
the little girls they marry are old
women before they are twenty years
old. Occasionally one of these gos-
ling marriages turns out all right,
but it is a clear case of luck. If
there was law against young ga
loots sparkling and marrying before
they have all their teeth cut, we
suppose the little cusses would
evade it some way, but there ought
to be sentiment against it. It is
time enough for these bantams to
think of finding pullet when they
haye raised money enough by their
own work to buy a bundle of laths
to build hen house. But they see
ii girl who looks cunning, and they
are afraid there is not going to be
girls enough to go around, and they
begin their work real spry; and be-
fore they are aware of the sanctlty
of the marriage relation they are
hitched for lite, and before they own
a cook stove or a bedstead they
have to get up in the night and 60
after the doctor, so frightened that
they run themselves out of breath
and abuse the doctor because he
does not run too; and when the doc
tor gets there he finds that there is
not enough linen in the house to
wrap up doll baby. 1t is at about
this time that a young man begins
to realize that he has been collos-
sal fool, and as he flies around to
heat water and bring in the bath
tub, and he goes whooping after his
mother or her mother, he turns pale
around the gills, his hair turns red
in single night, and he calls high
heaven to witness that if he lives
till morning, which he has doubts
about, he will turn over a new leaf
and never get married again until
he is older. And in the. morning
the green-looking "father" is around
before drug store is open. with no
collar on, his hair sticking every
way, his eyes blood-shot and his
frame nervous, waiting for the clerk
to open the door so he can get some
saffron to make tea of. Less than
a year ago he thought he was the
greatest man that there was any
where, but as he sets there in the
house that morning, with his we'd
ding coat rusty and shiny, his pants
frayed at the bottom and patched
in the seat, and the nurse puts in
his arms little bundle of flannel
with baby hid in it, he holds it as
he would a banana, and as he looks
at his girl wife on the bed, nearly
dead from pain and exhaustion, and
he thinks that there are not provis-
IONS enough in the house to feed a
canary, lump comes in his throat
and he says to himself that if he
had it to do oyer again he would