The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1881-09-22
Weather Indications.

lhlu Jne paper uOWn, II see UnaG we
are to have rising followed by falling
barometer, with northeast to southwest
winds, and higher or lower temperature,
with clear or partly cloudy weather, and
light rains. How is it they contrive to
tell so accurately about the weather.
Do you understand itP'
Certainly" replied Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke; "they do it by observation. They
have Q man out West observing, and q
man down East who observes, and fel-
lows observing around in different parts
of the country, They put all their OBJ
seryations together, and we know just
what it's going to do"
i suppose that's what makes the
wind so different every morning. When
one mans temperature is rising, an.
others falling; and when one is clear
all the rest are partly cloudy, With
""No they amt. Each observer sends
In what he observes, and then the chief
makes up his mind from those reports
what the weather will be. Can't you
understandP', .,.. ............ 700.
Perfectly" said Mrs. Spoopendyke,
rubbing her elbows, "If one sees the
barometer rising and another sees it
falling, and its cold in one place and
cloudy in another, they all say so. But
| should think when one hits it right
the other would be awful mad"
what would they get mad aboutP'
demanded Mr.. Spoopendyke. You don't t
imagine that they all get together and
fight. it out, do youP They take the
weather from different points and COM
binei and they parcel it out among
the different regions. For instance, Il
it SHOWS in the East and is warm in the
West, they strike an average for the
Lake region. Now, what is the average
between heat and snowP" alj9.
Rain" cried Mrs. Spoopendyke,
delighted with her sagacfty, ~ see
how it is now. They take what Is usu-
ally going on and equalize it all over
the country. I'm glad the Democrats
weren't elected"
"What have they got to do with itP
Do you think q barometer is q politi-
cian?"
NO But if the Democrats had been
elected they would have to change it all
around, wouldn't theyP And the South
would have got the best share. That's
what the Repub-"
"Blast the Republicans They've got
no more to do with it than you have.
You have got an idea that they throw
the barOmeters and observers into one
end of steam-engine, and the weather
comes out of the other. They don't
make the weather. The weather makes
itself. 1t is the only self-supporting
thing about the Government. And these
signal men only watch it and tell what
it's going to be-"
81 suppose when these observers all
get together and talk it over, that is
called storm center, isn't itP" Ht.
That's itr' shouted Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke. you've got the weather now.
All you want now is your name painted
on the handle and the spring broken to
be an umbrella. They don't talk it
over; they tell you all they know, and
it's fixed up in Washington. They agree
on it here, and then they telegraph it
all around everywhere. 1t is gener-
ally made in Manitoba and sent down
here" - ..
"How wideis itP' asked Mrs. Spoop-
endyke, deeply interested. Because,
if it isn't too big should think they
might stop it"
"Wide! It's Just a feet wide! just
a feet. Just about as wide as your
measily information. How're they 60
ing to stop itP Think it Jaws the
sleeping car conductor because there 8
only an upper berth leftp Well, it
don't. 1t hires horsep' howled Mr..
Spoopendyke, "and the only way to
stop it is to build fence around it.
There was some talk about burning the
last one, but the wood was wet" g..
"Well, my dear, you needn't get
angry about it," said Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke, soothingly. ~ only thought
there might be some way they could
make some arrangements about it. I
think storm centers are horrid, and the
observer in Manitoba must have a hard
time. If he has to observe much in the
winter he must be nearly frozen"
"Does any human being know what
you are thinking aboutP" raved Mr..
Spoopendyke. "Do you s'pose he goes
around with spyglass looking behind
rocksP Think he prowls around all
night with lantern hunting up storm
centersP Got an idea that he runs
round under the bed with a broom, like
a married woman know of, and when
he catches center pulls him out by the
leg and observes himP He don't do
anything of the sort. He has them to
spend the evening with him, and gets
them drunk and finds out what they re
up to. Understand it nowP All you
want is to whirl round twice and squeak
nights to be weathervane."
"I didn't know how they did it,"
quoth Mrs. Spoopendyke complacently,
"but | see now. If the Prohibitionists
had been elected he couldn't have done
that, and we should have been in q
bad way. Now that l understand it
I'll learn the indications every morning.
How does the barometer rise and fallP'
"With cork-screws," thundered Mr..
Spoopendyke. Sometimes they haul
it up with a stump-machine; then they
drop carpenters shop on it. When Il
gets very low they blow 1t up with gun
cotton. Once in Dakota it got so high
they had to dig hole and ram 1t down
with spile-driyery Got, it nowP Be-
gin to see through itI What you need
IS box of pills and conundrum to be
an almanacr' And Mr.. Spoopendyke
jumped out of the house like a conical
shot and banged the door after him.
II never quite understood it before" {"
soliloquized Mrs, Spoopendyke, specu-
lating as to whether she would put the
plume on the side or back part of her
hat; "but now that he's explained it to
me, | wonder they don't observe by
steam. 1t must be awful hard on the
poor man." And, having decided about
the plume, Mrs. Spoopendyke filed her
mouth with pins and crawled under the
bed in search of her thimble. -BroOkLyn