Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1881-09-25
RANDOM READINGS.

Why ought fisherman to make good
actors? Because they are always &C
quainted with their lines.
A man "out Vest was offered a
plate of macaroni soup, but declined it,
declaring that they couldn't play off
no bild-stems " on him.
Foreman: 'Look here, Pat; you heard
the governor say that job must be I'M
ished tonight" Pat: All right, mas
ter, I'll have it done tonight if it takes
me till tomorrow marnin'."
A gentleman who had servant with
very thick skull, used often to call him
the king of fools. Il WISH" said the
man you could make your words good,
as I should then be monarch of the
world"
Scene-A trysting- place. Roger, who
has been kept waiting some time:
What's come over YEP Dae We ken
ye've kept me waiting mair nor half an
hour?" Peggy, whom he has courted
for over eight years: "Weel, couldn't
help it. After pause-"Look at the
time ye've kept me waiting, and I'm
share We never heard me vince COM
pleenin'." 35a
Just before visiting menagerie,
Johnny had passage-at-arms with q
young aunt who assisted at his toilet,
and with whom he flew into rage.
Arrived at the menegerie, Johnny was
immensely interested by strange for
eign animal. with long, 1.-THE body.
what animal is that, mammal" he
asked. sit is called an ant-eater, my
son." Johnny, after long silence:
Mamma, can't we bring Aunt Mary
here some day?"
Jones loves to dwell upon his army
exploits. The other evening he was
telling some friends moving accident,
of which. as usual, he was the central
figure. He had got as far as ''the night
was pitchy dark, and everything was
still as death; we were getting nearer
to the enemy's picket-post-were just
ready to make rush on them, when
somebody's rifle went off. That told
the tale" when he was unfeelingly in
terrupted by Smith, who supposed "Of
course it must have been repeating RI
fe that could tell a tale"
A large, red-faced Irishwoman was
found recently by a cencus official in a
tenement-house, surrounded by brood
of children. ''Can you read and write?h
inquired the enumerator. ':Indade I
cam she replied. ''Then write your
name here, please" said the young
man, offering pencil. "Oh, but I
feel loike it, STRIP was the reply. "Then
will you tell me what your husbands
occupation is?'' asked the official. He
is an ascinder and a descinder." "a
what?' "Och, thin, he's hod-carrier,"
with immense disgust.
One of the most illustrious of our
living Judges, Baron A, contempt
rary tells US, was travelling once with
friend through the South of France,
and so into Italy. He was at the time
of his journey the possessor of brand
new and very splendid chronometer, Of
which he was very proud. A constant
source of complaint on the journey was
that no watch-pockets were affixed to
foreign beds, and that the chronometer,
placed under the pillow at night, slip
ped, after the custom Of chronometers,
from that position, and, in so doing,
incurred risk of breakage. At length,
at small hotel near Lugano, at which
a nights rest was to be taken, the Bar
on found. to his delight, the pocket, the
absence of which had marred the pleas
ure of his journey. So overjoyed was
he that there was some talk of arrang-
ing the next days journey with view
to returning to sleep once more
at an inn so far in advance of its
rivals in it's attention to the comforts of
guests. In the morning, however, the
Baron came down with a rueful visago
and showed the chronometer, now silens
and ruined. What had been taken for
watch-pocket at the head of the bed
was small vessel full Of holy water.
In that the watch had remained all
night without experiencing the benefit
more responsible being might OF
might not have received from such an
immersion al