davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1881-06-15
Naming Her Baby.

Sn the Bay City train the other day
was a woman with O baby about eight
months old, and in tile next seat bach
was an old man who couldn't sit Still
until he had said:
"That's a baby you have there, isn't
it,"
"Yes, sir"
"About a year old, isn't hep
"Mercy, no! He's hardly eight
months old yet"
"Isn't, Ell? Well, I'm the father Of
nine children, but it's been so long
since I've seen a baby that I've for,
gotten how they ought to look. Is he
a girl?"
"No, sir; he's a boy"
"Just me, agin. T never can tell
one from t'other. Is he purity healthy ?"
"Oh, yes" .
"Squall much nights"
"Never squalls at ALL"
"Don't, eh? That's the kind Of q
young 'un I like to see around. My
Samuel din nothing but howl for the
first two years, Sarah was allus sick,
Moses fell out of the cradle and broke
his arm, and something or other allus
allied every one of the lot. Have you
named this baby yet"
"No, sill"
Haven't, Ell! Say%
eyes, sir" .
"'Sposen you call him arter me? My
fust name is Jefferson, and they jeff me
for short. I've got two $40 gold pieces
here for him if you want to call hin
Jefferson"
CPL do it," promptly replied the
woman.
"That's business. Here's the cash
and the boy is named Jefferson, arter
me. Lemme kiss him about four
times"
The baby was duly kissed and con-
graduated, and at the next station he
left the train with his mother. The old
man wal tickled half to death over the
matter, until the conductor came along
and asked:
"Did you pay her anything to name
that baby after you"
"Ies-tWenty COLLARS. hes 8 CLIP
per, and don't you forget it."
"And so is his mother. She's down
in the Detroit House Of Correction, and
the woman who had him takes care of
him for two dollars q week"
"N-o-a!"
"Fact."
The old mans jaw fell, his eyes re-
NAMED fixed on the ceiling for a min
ute, and then he fell back in his seat
with the exclamation:
"Chaw me! Everybody has called
me a fool for the past twenty years, and
now I know they were right, conductor"
eyes"
"Please mop the floor with me and
break my neck, and step on me a thou
sand times, and then throw the mangled
wreck into some swamp, for 1 won't be
no more good in this world !"'-DetroH
H.. D.,
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1881-06-15
The Idyi Of the Baggage Man.

With many Il curve the trunks l pitch,
Withmany a shout and sally;
At station, siding, crossing, switch,
On mountain Sradr or valley.
I heavc, l push, | sling, l toss,
With vigorous cnlravor;
And men may smile, and men may grow cross
But l sling Ely trunks forever.
Ever! Ever!
I bust trunks forever.
The paper trunk from country tow
balances and handles;
l turn it once or twice around,
And pull out both the handles.
And grumblc over travelling bags
And monstrous sample eases,
But l can smash the makers hrags
Like plaster paris VASES.
They holler, hollcr, as | go,
But they can't stop me never:
For they will learn Just what l know,
A trunk won't last forever.
Ever! Never!
And in and ont 1 wind about,
And hercI smash 4 kicstcr:
/ turn a grip-sack inside ont
Three times q day al least, sir;
I tug, l jerk, l swear, I swcat,
I toss the light v~aliscs;
And what's too big to throw, you bet,
I'll fire it round i'll pieces.
They murmur, murmur, everywhere,
But l will heed them never
For women weep ANA strong men swear,
I'll claw their trunks forever.
Ever Ever!
I'll bust trunks forever,
I've cowcd the preacher with my wrath.
1 scorn the JUDGES crmlnc;
I've spilled both brief and sermon,
And books, and socks, and cards, and strings
Too numerous 10 mention;
And babies clothes and women's things,
Beyond my comprehension,
I've spilled, and scattered, and slung
AS far as space colld sever;
And scatter, scatter, old or young,
I'll scatter things forever!
Ever! Ever!
Scatter things 1o;,vcr.
r.. J, Burdette.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1881-06-15
artamus Wards Donkey Valve.

A correspondent Of the Portland
Press relates this humorous anccdote of
Artemus Ward: Half q dozen of his
associates were sitting n day in his
room at the village hotel where he
boarded, when an old woman drove ND
to the store opposite with a pair OF
donkeys-a Jack and Jenny-hitched to
a Ii tie wngon. Jack vas the noisiest
brute in the country. He had q voice
worse than the handle Of the town
pump on q frosty morning, and was
proud of it. In a minute bis. tail rose
toa horizontal, his nose was thrust for
ward, his lips parted and the beast blow
his dreadful blast. A second and Il third
time it was repeated. Artemus quietly
thought "that thing might be fixed"
and disappeared from the room. lie
went over and appeared to make a care
full inspection Of the forewheels Of q
wagon, the harness and the hitchup, and
came back saying that tho donkey was
all right; the brute must have made a
mistake about something. Presently
there were Indications of q movement
on Jacks part; the neck was extended,
the lips curled and the tail rose-to the
pivotal point, and no further. The
trumpet didn't sound. Jack thought
there was a mistake somewhere
Observation-Disclosures tried again.
The front part, some of it, was all
right; but the equilibrium could
not be reached. After q time an
other attempt was made and failed.
Jack turned his head round to ascertain
the cause of the failure, but couldn't
see any. The fifth vain attempt to bray
was followed by spiteful kick at Jenny;
but it didn't cure the matter. At last
he gave it up and stood at that store
door the most dejccted-looking, discon-
tented donkey in existence. Meantime
Artemus enjoyed the fun and discharged
a rafting fusilade of pungent humor
that kept the party in a roar, aud made
the whole affair one of the most ludi-
crous that L ever experienced. Artemus
had attached q heavy stone to tho don
keys tail, leaving just play enough to
the cord to allow the beast to get his
to;l ,oor11, ~ 70 &C oonoort pitoh
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1881-06-15

1t is unnecessary to say that Short was
promptly acquitted and warmly con-
graduated Oh one of the narrowest es-
capes ever made by any man in a court
room. Nothing could have saved him
had the court refused to direct the &C
quittal of Ryan and allow him to testify.
The deceased corporal, the soldier
and Mary Bowen were-mistaken. That
was all there was about it.
So much for the occasional unrelia-
bility of the direct testimony of honest
eye-witnesses.
And so much, also, for giving the &C
cused an opportunity to be heard on the
witness-stand, the denial of which by
the law is one of the relics of barbarism
which still disgraces its administration
in some States at this late day.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1881-06-15

of five, ard whites of three, well-beate1
eggs, and two tablespoonful Of swee.
cream, fry and serve quite hot.
GREEN PEA SoUp.-Puttwo quarts OF
green peas with four quarts of water,
boil for two hours, keeping the steam
waste supplied by fresh boiling water
then strain them from the liquor, re,
turn that to the pot, rub the peas
through a sieve, chop an onion fine, and
a small sprig of mint, let it boil ten
minutes, then stir a tablespoonful Of
flour into two of butter, and pepper and
salt to taste, stir it smoothly into the
boiling soup. Serve with well-butte,cd
sippets of toasted bread.
APPLE JELLY.-Make q syrup of a
! pound of sugar, putting in sufficient
water to dissolve it. When boiled enough
lay in it the peeled and cored halves
of some large sour apples. Let them
simmer till tender, then lay them care
fully in a dish so that they will remain
unbroken and in good shape. Add an
other pound of sugar to the syrup, let
it boil, skim it and when partly cool
pour it over the apples. When the dish
gets cold each dainty piece of apple
will be surrounded by a delicious jelly.
Eat with cream.
STRAWBERRY CUsTARD.-Make O nice
boiled custard of a quart of milk and
the yolks of five eggs properly sweet
encd. Boil in n double kettle till it
thicl;ens to the right consistency; take
it of the fire and put in the lavoring.
Take a gill of sugar and a pint of ripe
berries; crush them together and pass
through q fine strainer. Take the whites
of four Of the eggs, and while beating
them to a stiff froth add a gill of sugar,
a little at a time. Then to the sugar
and eggs add the sweetened strawberry
juice, beating all the while to keep it
stiff. This makes a beautiful pink
float, which is to be placed on top of
the custarl.
QUAKER OMELET.-A quaker omelet
is a handsome and sure dish when care
is taken in the preparation. Three eggs,
half a cup Of milk, one and q half table
spoonfuls of corn starch, n teaspoon
full of salt, one tablespoonful of butter.
Put the omelette pan and q cove that
will fit close on to heat. Beat the yolks
of the eggs, the corn starch and the salt
very we'll together. Beat the whites to
q stiff froth, add to the well-beaten yolks
and corn starch. Stir all together very
thoroughly, then add the milk. Now
put the butter in the hot pan: and when
melted pour in the mixture, cover and
place on the stove where it will brown
but Lot burn. Cook about seven MIN
utes, fold, turn on o hot dish and serve
with the cream sauce.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1881-06-15
HEALTH HINTS.

Cornsilk is said to be an efficient
and powerful remedy for d"opsy, blad-
der troubles and diseases of the kidneys.
The Louisville Medical Nems gives an
account of the medical properties OF
cornsilk, and the cures that have been
effected by it's use. The way to use it
is to- take two double-handfuls of fresh
cornsilk and boil in two gallons of
water until but u gallon remains. Add
sugar to make a syrup. Drink a tum-
bier Of this thrice daily, and it will re-
lieve dropsy by increasing the flow of
the'urine most enormously. Other dis
eases of the bladder and kidneys are
benefited by the remedy, which is
prompt, efficient and grateful to the
stomach. The treatment can be con-
tinued for months without danger or
inconvenience,
A foreign physician who has devoted
considerable time and study to the sub
ject, furnishes the following recipe for
inducing clearness Of complexion: One
ounce of honey, three ounces of ground
barley, and the white of an egg mixedto
q paste, and spread thickly over the
face before retiring. In the morning it
is to be washed off with warm water,
wetting the surface with a sponge and
letting it soften first. This application
is to be repeated each night until the
skin becomes fine and soft. In addition
a daily bath in tepid water, followed
with vigorous rubbing, is advised. This
recipe is probably as good as any, and
has the merit of being quite simple and
harmless. If you are going to try only
a part of this recipe, take the bath and
the rubbing.
To prevent hair from falling out or
turning grey, take a teacupful Of dried
sage, and boil it in n quart of soft water
for twenty minutes. Strain it offand add
q piece Of borax the size Of an English
walnut; pulverize the borax. Put the
sage tea, when cool, into a quart bottle;
add the borax; shake we'll together, and
keep in a cool place. Brush the hair
thoroughly and rub the wash well on
t. e head with the hand. Then after a
good hard rubbing, brush the hair well
before q fire 50 it will become dry.
The following is said to be a remedy
for weak or sore eyes: Get a fve-cent
cake of elder flowers at the druggists
and steep in one gill of soft water. 1t
must be steepedi in bright tin or earthen-
ware. Strain nicely, and add three
drops of laudanum !; bottle it tight and
keep in a cool place. Use as q wash,
letting some of it get into the eyes
Follow this, and relief is certain. If the
eyes are painful or much sore, make
small, soft congresses, wet them in the
mixture and bind over the eyes at night,
I can warrant the above as harmless
and sure, having tried it in a number o
cases where other skill and remedies
had utterly failed. If the eyes a.
badly infamed, use it very freely. A
tea made of elder flowers and drank,
will help to cleanse the blood. Pure
rock salt and water will strengthen your
eyes if you battle them daily in it.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1881-06-15
The &" Drummer - system.

At a recent meeting of the Leeds
Industrial Cooperative society, the
largest in the world, having q member
ship of $4,000, to consider whether
the society should join the whole
sale society, m of the delegates said
che had been told by q gentleman who
had reliable information upon the
point, that there were no fewer than
40, 900 commercial travellers in the
United Kingdom, and that the railway
fares, hotel and other expenses of
these men averaged $50 each per
week. That meant that there was q
sum of IS, 600, 600 O week paid to peo-
pie for going about the country to tell
people where certain articles are made,
and pcrsuading people to buy them.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1881-06-15
FARM, GARDEN AND HOUSEHOLD
Clover md RYc for Hogs

In my experience, says O writer, L have
found nothing so profitable for hog
pasture as clover and rye, and I think
rye preferable, and the reason they are
better than timothy, blue grass and all
similar grasses is they remain more
tender for q longer period than other
grasses, which so soon become why and
hard, partaking Of the nature of hay,
and I have never known hogs to thrive
on it, although other stock does. To
use rye profitable for pasture fall rye
should be sown for spring pasture and
spring rye for later pasture, and by not
pasturing too long and too close there
will be considerable head out, which
when ripe will, with the weeds that natur'
ally grow among grain, make.goodpasture
until time to commence feeding corn,
at least such is my experience. AS to
using any of the grasses for hog pasture,
1 would prefer a weed pasture, and I
will here say that I am of opinion if
some OF the weeds so eagerly eaten by
hogs were domesticated and properly
cultivated they would prove more salts
factory for hog pasture than anything
used of grass kind.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1881-06-15
Utah is lust now the chosen field for

Utah is just now the chosen field TOR
considerable Christian missionary work
There are forty-four Presbyterian mis-.
sionaries in the Territory, maintained at
an annual cost of $4,000, the Congre-
gationalists are spending $4,000 in new
schoolhouses and churches, the Meth
odists have twenty missionaries on the
ground and other denominations are
represented. These tremendous on
slaughts have melted the Mormons to
renewed zeal,
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1881-06-15
Reel

ASPARAGUS OMELET.-Boil two pounds
of tender, fresh-cut asparagus in very
little water, with a small portion Of salt,
or, what is better still, steam the aspar-
agus without water until it is tender
| chop it very fine, mix it with the yolks
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1881-06-15
What Size Trees to Buy.

Purchasers of trees often make the
mistake of supposing that the larger the
tree bought the greater the gain. Muir
serymen, who Of all men should know
as to,this, say that there is absolutely
nothing gained by buying large trees:
This applies, of course, in o general
sense. If a tree could be removed
every few years, so as to have an album
dance of tibrous, or small roots, there
would be no check on removal, and such
q tree would never become too large to
move profitably. The general run OF
trees are not treated thus, and so the
larger the tree the less likely is it &c
have many roots, and as a consequence
the tree must either be pruned back Sc
verely, or let alone to make a weak
growth, and perhaps die. The best
way is to get a medium tree, treat ii
we'll, and it will give far more satisfac'
ton than a large one would have done,
without much doubt.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1881-06-15
Wnr on Weeds.

Let the war on weeds begin early and
keep it up without cessation. When
ever there is the shadow of a chance
weeds assert themselves, and if not
quickly subdued soon monopolize pas
fures, meadows, fields and gardens.
A sovereign remedy for most weeds
is thorough cultivation. Aweedy field
planted to corn and cultivated early and
late, especially early, for q season OF
two, will generally lose even the tough
est characters among extraneous
Srowths. A sharp-toothed cultivator
s much, and where this
les will finish the rest.
1t practicable to place
weed-fn0 fields under continued
cultivation, much may be accomplished
by digging noxious growths up by the
roots, moving them down repeatedly OF
smothering them out, according asthey
propagate from seed, root, or from both.
TO carry on the wal intelligently farm
ers must know somewhat of the nature
and growth of the weeds. White daisies,
one Of the worst pests meadows have to
contend with, spread from both root and
seed; they should be dug out, there
fore, before the blossom natures, that
the seed crop for that year may be
destroyed as we'll as the germ
which produces the stem and
blossom the next. This, by the
way, is most readily accomplished
when the ground is soft from recent
ruin. The same may DO said Of the
iron-weed that is of similar habit.
Burdocks will finally succumb to re-
peated cuttings provided they are cut
three or four inches under the surface.
Elders and briers may in time be over
CON by repeated mowings and then
pasturing with sheep. Milkweed can
be exterminated by continued cuttings,
never allowing the plant to show long
above ground. Plantain, if not permit
ted to mature it's seed for two years,
will die out. May and August are fit
ting months in which to NOV such
weeds as succumb from loss of leaves.
The Canada thistle is perhaps most
quickly checked by the rank growth OF
some field crop which overtops it and
smothers it out. Great care should be
exercised to prevent all classes OF weeds
from forming their seed. -Ne~ York
World.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1881-06-15

Rothschild, one cf1 Lord Beacons-
fields executors, says he has evidence
that before he died B%eaconsfeld re-
turned to the swish. faith.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1881-06-15

In the Nineteenth Century Mrs. Burr
advocates a reform in dealing with the
problem of crime which deserves care
full consideration and which will COM
mend itself to common sense on this
side of the Atlantic as well as on the
other. She points out the fact which
both moralists and novelists have en-
phasized before this, that the seeds of
crime are sown in young hearts before
boys and girls have reached their teens,
and that to leave little children to grow
up under circumstances which almost
drive them into pilfering and then pun
ish them because they become thieves
is ct once an injustice and o folly. She
proposes to cut off the supply of our
prisons, and even Of eH reform schools,
by putting the street Arabs under ten
years of age into homes no one of which
should contain more than fifty or sixty
children, who should be under the
charge of carefully-instructed matrons,
and should be clothed, fed and properly
trained, and eventually provided with
places where q healthful and productive
industry would become possible for
them.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1881-06-15

Some of the Nihilists, who are known
as "Federalists," have drawn up a
scheme Of reorganization which they
propose to bring forward after the de-
struction of the present political regime.
According to this scheme Russia would
be split up into o number of small free
states, which would only be connected
with each other by a congress and q
president, like the United States of
America. Small and s~e1f-governing
states are, they say, the primitive forms
of Russian political life; it a only
Ivan the Terrible and his successor who,
with the help of the Tartars, created
the present centralized and autocratic
empire. Such q scheme would, it is be-
lieved, find favor with many members of
the constitutional party, who feel the
difficulty of governing a nation of &c.
600, 900 of people by O single central
parliament, and also with some of the
old Russians" who dream of establish
ing, in opposition to the civilization of
the West, an improved civilization based
on the institutions of ancient Russia.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1881-06-15

"There is a new kind of fend in ex-
istence," said a postotfice detective to a
correspondent of the Philadelphia Re-
cord, "the postal card tiend, who came
into existence with that species of epis-
tolary effusion. The nuisance is o much
greater one than you can imagine. No
one who is not connected with the SER
vice can imagine the number Of scurril-
Gus cards sent out. Ladies come to us
some of them belonging to the first
families of our city-who are almost
heartbroken over the open missives they
have received. They do not want to
expose the matter-often it is the re-
suit of some family feud-and so all we
can do is to stop the cards here, while
the villain is allowed to go free. I
have heard of q case lately where q
young wife was assailed in reputation
by q former lover-rejected OF course
who kept just within the boundary of
the law. The insinuating language was
sufficiently yelled to keep the young
husband uneasy, while it ate deep into
the young brides heart. It will kill
her, as she is dying slowly Of the in
ward wound. Of IRIS ten years in
prison would be light punishment for
such a fend, but these people always
calculate on an unwillingness to prose-
cute on account of fears Of publicity"
An illustration Of the value Of revac-
cination is afforded by a report just fur
nished by the chief medical officer of
the general postoffice in England. This
report relates to an average number of
1O,5O4 persons employed in the postal
service in London, all of whom have
been required to undergo revaccination
on admission to the service, unless that
operation has been performed within
seven years previously. Among these
persons, during the ten years 1S7O-lS79,
there has not been q single fatal case Of
smallpox, and in only ten instances
have there been non-fatal attacks, all of
which were of q very slight character.
In the telegraph department, where the
! enforcement Of revaccination has not
been carried out with quite the same
completeness, twelve cases have occurred
In the same period among a staff
averaging 1853 in number. Eight of
these attacks were of persons who had
not been revaccinated, and one proved
fatal. The remaining four were of re-
vaccinated persons, who all perfectly
recovered without pitting. This expert
ence, like that of the nurses at the small
pox hospitals, seems to show that revac-
cinated persons enjoy absolute immu-
nifty from severe attacks of smallpox
and that their risk of catching that dis
ease at all, even in its most modified
form. is infniteSimal.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1881-06-15

The assize court at Heilbronn, in
Wurtemberg, had lately before it a case
which Is probably unique in criminal
annals. A laborer, who was laid up
with a broken leg, was charged with
embezzlement and was summoned to
appear before the Judge d'instruction.
Overwhelmed with the disgrace, perhaps
unable to exculpate himself, he ordered
his son to hang him. The son, who was
also a laborer, obeyed his fathers wish,
and carried him to the house loft, where
he hung him effectively from n of the
beams. The court sentenced the son to
Imprisonment for three years and nine
months.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1881-06-15
FACTS AND

The czar of Russia rules over an I'm,
dermined empire, and occasionally some
portion of the explosive elements, crop.
ping out of the surface, is observed.
This is the real significance of the Incl.
dent of the other day, when o mine Of
gunpowder was found under q stone
bridge at O steamer landing in St.
Petersburg. The arrest of q couple Of
naval l%ieutenants at Cronstadt for alb.
stracting dynamite from the imperial
stores only shows how slight a hold the
czar has on his own picked officers.