Litchfield enquirer., 1881-01-27
CLIPPINGS.

A study in oil: The attempt to get sar. dine out whole.
 A game of base ball is like a buckwhea cake-A great deal depends on the batter. gs
 The man who goes into business with the devil soon finds that his partner is soul propri. etor.
 ''Ah, my son, did you not know it was sin. ful to catch fish on SundaY?" Who's s ketchia' any fish?"
 Many men claim to be firm in their princi. ples, when. really, they are only obstinate in their prejudices. |, You can be cremated at Gotha, Germany, for $16. But then it will cost you consider. able to get to Gotha. .l
 Jones, speaking of the beef served at his boarding house. says it is neck or nothing with hIs landlsdy. '-'
 "What is fame ?" asks the Philadelphia Amerlcan. Fame is the result of being civil to newspaper men.
 "What plan," said the actor to the author. "shallI adopt to fill the house at my benefit ID Invite your creditors" was the surly reply. In view of the condition of the sidewalks if is suggested that New Haven should change it's name from Elm City to Slippery Elm City.
 An exchange says the Egyptian obelisk can. not stand our climate. It will have to. It is asking little too much of the people to change their climate to suit the obelisk.
 The hair of red headed girl is transmitted to auburn or golden when she becomes a young lady; the red headed boy remains red headed as long as he lives.
 A young city fellow bought farm last win. ter. He had fine orchard of about two hun dred apple trees. and few weeks ago he taD ped every one of them for cider.
 It is all very we'll to talk about the i'm mense advantages of New York as the gr eat shipping depot of the country; but, for ter. minal facilities, the wasp takes the cake. O.! the tiny little ants,
 i How they chamber up our pants At the picnic heath the willows in the glen
 z Aew they seem to take delight in s. The obnoxious sport of bitin' lndefensible and modest gentlemen!
 Nautical. Husband dokingly): "Oh, I'm the mainstay of the family" Wife: .'Yes. and the jib-boom, and the-and the-." Small Boy (from experience): And the spanker. too, mamma Applause. Tennyson's new tragedy is called the Gun. ' The name IS not by any means new it has been synonymous with tragedy ever since the time of Cam.
 Will you have your oysters scallopsd p asked Galveston waiter of green customer from the interior. Have the oysters scalp. ed? No, but you kin scalp the butter, if you want to-. It needs it the worst kind"
 A west end photographer recently acted as master of ceremonies at friends funeral, aud as he lifted the coffin lid for the mourn. CTS to look at the remains, whispered to the corpse, 'Now, look natural" Force of hab. it.
 Rev. James Hartnett preached a sermon st Davidville. Ark, on the duty of paying debts promptly. .'So much for sentiment" he said. finally, ."'and the hard fact is that this church owes me five hundred dollars, and I shall never occupy this pulpit again usiil it i. paid.
 It is mighty embarrassing to . man who has son'e religious friends staying with him to have his dog, which has been very quiet dur ing the week days begin right after break. fast Sunday ts run to the gun in the corner and then to his master. and .wag his tail, and then run Jack to the gun again.
 He stood with his back against the front door of the street car. Every one else had a seat and he anxiously atched each face for symptoms of getting out for over three miles. It grew wearisome, and he finally shifted bis weight from one foot to the other, and ex- claimed, By me soull have none O yees any homes to go to ?n sas-s@ ~~es-5aess& K 2 A doctor in Scotland made c nerve and bone all healing salve and thought he would ex. pertinent little with it. He. at first cut of his dogs tail and applied some of the salve to the stump. A new tail grew out i'm lmediately. He then applied some to the tail which he cut of and new dog grew out He did not know which dog was which
 Mir. Tomnoddy was in good humor this morning and coming into the kitchen where Mrs. T. was at work, he threw a barrel hoop over her that he found in the back yard and said, Ha Ina Mira TomnoddY, why are you like the wife of q circus clewn?" I don't know" snapped Mrs T., jerking away the hoop, .unleas because Pm mar. Eisd to fool"