The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1881-08-10
HUMORS OF THE DAY.
DAD spectacles-Broken glasses.

MEN who are born equal-twins.
OPENING q boil-taking off the tea
kettle lid.
A CIVIL engineer One who gives .
tramp free ride i'll o caboose.
SPEAKING of avarice and generosity,
is the bee as stingy as the wasp?-Steu-
benUile Her0id
RICHES may have wings, but they
don't seem to fly in this direction. --Yon-
ksrS Statesman.
The clown who got caught In heavy
rain without an umbrella, was damp
fool, wasn't he?-StuGJcnUilte Herald.
Ir HAS been established at last that
the only disease to which you may not q
second time be liable, is the one that
kills first.
TEACHER to small boy-"What does
the provcrb say about those who live in
glass houses % Small boy"-Pull down
the blinds"
"Do YOU drink brandy?' "No, I do not
drink brandy, but my brother Andy,
who is quite dandy, drinks brandy,
mixed with rock candy. "-Ste,tbenVilte
HeraLd.
SHE was sweet sixteen when she re-
ceived box of caramels from her dear
Claude Augustus, and she was sweet
sickteen when she turned her tired eyes
upon its emptiness.
WAR history: "What is the greatest
charge on lecord?' asked the professor
of history. And the absent-minded
student answered: Seventeen dollars
for hack hire for self and girl for two
| hours.
THERE is good deal of gush over q
driver on one Of the street cars in Kan
sas City, who was formerly lawyer.
This is all wrong. If the man is trying
to do right now, why bring up his past
life against him?
"WILb the coming man use both
hands?" is a question asked by scien-
tiiic exchange. We do not see how the
coming man can use both hands unless
tho coming woman drives the horse.
Peck's Sun.
GLOW came you to fail in your ex-
amination?" asked the tutor. 81 thought
crammed you thoroughly" "Well,
you see, replied the student, "the fact
was you crammed me 50 tight couldn't
get it out. Yale College Ne,Cs.
"Do YOU know, Mr.. Smith," asked
Mrs. s., in rcproying way, "that that
cigarette is hurting you; that it is your
enemy ?" "Yes," replied Smith, calmly
ejecting heecy cloud Eyes, know 1t,
and Pm trying to smoke the rascal
out"
MY ONLY books
Were women's looks
And folly's all they taught me.
read them through,
What could | do2
Their pretty bindings caught mo-
-SteubsnpiRe Herald.
Now look at me
And you shall see
The awful change they wrought me-.
Detroit "Cha1."
Blind rs bat,
Poor rs rat,
To this sad state they've brought me.
-Smdy Capital.
A BoYwas eating away at big cocoanut
that had been cracked open with brick
bat, when pedestrian felt it his duty
to halt and remark: "Boy, don't you
know that too much of that stuff may
give you the colic?'' 81 guess So" was
the reply. "Then why do you eat itT
"Well, if my chum, who lives next door,
can stand the smallpox for six weeks, I
guess can put up with the colo foR
three or four hours!" was the reply as he
bit off another big hunk.
HEARD two damsels collaboratingt
produce a piece of poetry to bunch
of dandeloins. With their eyes intent
upon the source of inspiration they
achieved two verses:
| " Dandelion Of golden hue,
| Whata lot there are Of you"
-Neto York Letter.
A SEWING machine agent in LitchReld
proudly filings the following to the
breeze:
DoMEsTICs
For Sale and Repaired Here.
-Danburu MetCs,