, 1881-08-28
SUNDAY SOBRIETIES.

|
! 4 Niagara llacklnan has become minis
ter. Having prtyed for years, he will nov
endcayor to preach while.
\ synical Benedict says one gets IN atle.
ouate IDEA Of the desperate straits to which
Ruth was reduced III: the land Of Moab only
by relnarking that sue claye unto her mother
Naturalization Courier.
i Scotch minister went Up to Edinburg
once to prepare Il harmony of the Foul
Gospels: '.Sa,ldy,"' said some one to Il hum,
Bile fariS|lloner of MS, where, Is your
up to Edinburg to make four men agree WHO
| never fell out"
Slip af the tongue: 4 worthy deacon in 4
town not far away gave notice at a prayer
Injecting the other night of 4 church meeting
that w;.s to be held immediately after, and
unconScions'y added: There Is 10 objection
to the female brethren remaining !''-SprinJ-
| field Republican,.
| When he returned to his seat in the t}tea-
| tN and said he had just steppe'l ont to sec
| some one, she gravcly responded, - It nlus1
| have been the Esl! One''; and when The young
man asked = IT she saw the clover-foot,' she
| turned up her pretty nose and said: No;
| but smell the Glove in BREATH"
y new version: 4 little boy who had at-
| tended Il funeral was asked by Ills mother
what the text was. lie replied: lies
dead, and they went up the road." This
was. the boys version of the passage in
Ecclesiastes: "lfan goeth to his long home,
and the mourncrs 70 about the strccts.''
days on il "rrsort'' on the seasllora where
| Mr.. Robert lngerson and his family were
staying. and ful1nl them very pleasant and
agreeable people. On taking leave Mr..
tngersoN said: II am very happy to have
| ',p:t you; we have spent pleasant days to-
ss,hcr: I'!ope we shall meet again; If not
III this world, then ii1-Bostottn'
.''1 declare, if there isn't the dcacon's
daughter out will, bran.-tew shawl We'll,
ncver"' liush!' said u better Informed
female: % 'tisnt hers. It's one she bur-
'Ts" the tsu M s t1eres ss'1 ns tins nseI
know. She can't depend M borrowing to
look well in heaven. She'll have to wear her
own angel plunage when she gets there"
And they bowed their heads rs the minister
opened The service.
a military Chaplain complained to the Adj
futant of 4 cavalry regiment that no men at
telnled his second: service on Sunday. al
though ltc had spoken to them repeatedly.
The Adjutant prOmlseIto to see what lle could
do; 50, sending for the Strgcant-Alajur, he
Inquired how it was that no men attended,
and requested linn to try to do something.
On the following Sunday about twenty men
attended the service, much to the Cllaplain's
satisfaction, aud lie mentioned 1t to the Adjt,-
tan, next day. The Adjutant Was surprised,
though pleased. and l,+ sent fnr the Sergeant
Major ard asked him }iowlt was the men had
turned SD got,d all IF a sudden. Replied the
Strgeant-AIaj0r: We'll, sir. L tnttt off four
men per troop 10 attend, and marked them
oil Tor fatigue duty
CALENDAR FOR TIE WEEK.
EPISCOPAL.
Aug. 2s-Eleyeuth Sunday after Trinity.
Sept Fast
CATHOLIC.
Aug .S-Twelfth Sunday utter Pentecost; ST.
Augustine. Il, e. q.
Aug, a9-iieheatng OF St. John Baptist; st. Sa-
bua, VI.
Comp, NM
Aug. 3l-Sr Iiuynund Nonnatus. c.
Sept l-Oi'ic" of the Blessed sacrume ent>
Sepr. 2-St. Stephen, X. G.
Sept ;&-Otiiee Of tho lmm maculate Conception.