St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1881-07-09
ALL SORTS.

Sometimes it is well enough not to
speak your mind, but to mind your
speak.
The young man that runs after
sherry cobbler will never get his
shoes mended.
If you know a good story, do not
tell it but to stranger. You have
told it before.
"There is plenty of room at the
top" as the bald-headed man said
to his full beard.
When some politicians are weigh
ed they are found wanting-eyery
office in the country.
I'm Congress" says the Boston
Trcpscrips, "lnore is cared for
quorum than for decorum"
The woman who married does
we'll, but the woman who does not
marry does better nine times out OF
ten.
T find that with light meals my
health improves" said the Esqui-
maux; and down went another can
die.
The bass-drum player makes
more noise than anybody else, but
he doesn't lead the band. There
is moral to this
Said the hestess, Henry. why
don't you SIT down with the young
ladies9 Is it ditEdence?" Said
Henry, "No, ma'am, it's bile
Thomas Carlyle said: 'sDo the
duty that lies next 10 you" Still
this wouldn't justify man at a
theatre in wreckiLg high bonnet
with has umbrella.
Six million people in this country
have bilious attacks in the spring.
Just about the time q man can dc
the bes: kind OF work with q rake
in the back door yard.
/ The Duke Of Sutherland has ex-
pressed himself as greatly pleased
with America. This is Eers kind
of the Duke, and Americans should
feel encouraged.
In certain parts of Germany the
peasantry considered it good luck
to meet q pig. 1t isn't considered
good luck in this country, that is. If
It is in o ear and you want q seat.
| The Bells of Shandon
That sound SO grand ON
The pleasant waters
Of the River Dee,
Have not the power,
At the dinner hour.
i Of the bell that summons
| Mary Jane and me.
When rnaa begins to tumble up
stairs every one helps him to get to
the top, and wber he begins to tum-
BILE down stairs, all the world SEEM
anxious to have him reach the
bottom.
Properly referred. Neigbbor's
pretty daughter much IS
, this q yard?" Draper's son Gdes-
} peratel1 "spooney" on her)-"Only
one kiss" N. P. D.-"I will take
} three yards; grandma will pay"
A crusty old bachelor, not liking
) the way his landlady's daughter had
of using his hair oil filed his bottle
with liquid glue the day before the
? ball to which the girl was invited.
! She stayed at home.
"Thia isn't a menagerie, sharply
observed an irascible deacon to =
! man who was trying to force a pas
: sage through the crowd at a church
) doorway. mo, presume not, re-
: turned the stranger, "or they
wouldn't t leave any of the animals
!, !, TO block up the entrance"
, Law PROFESSIONALISM consti-
tutes burglary?" Student-"There
: must be q breaking" Professor
ssThen if a man enters your door
:, and takes five dollars from your
vest pocket in the hail, would that
;, be burglary" Student-"Yes, Sir,
. because that would break me"
d NV wife won't even hear of my GO
It ing to the theatre with another lady.
!. said Gallaher. Ragbag didn't seci.l
a to construe G.llaher's remurLs
Is Alright. for he said. Won't ehf Don
d yon be too sure of it. I tl.onsht my
,e wife wouldn't lu,t she did. and !
+ had Q E artul tia.e aloot it-