Bristol news. [volume] (Bristol, Va. & Tenn.) 1867-189?, 1881-11-08
llllH iInnlLllrCIS.

there is something about a hammock
that is iudescrbablc, and there Is no
rule that can be mad0 that will insure
safety while sitting in one of the queer
things. There are people who believe
that n hammock understands what is GO
inc on, and occasionally indulges in n
Joke. II Is certain that an old person
with Il lame back can swing IN ham
mock half the day and 1t Will never Kick
up. Servant girls and children can get
into Il hammock us thick rs three IN n
bed and there is no danger, but let Il
spoony young couple sit down In Il ham
mock ever so carefully and it seems rs
though the confounded thing was alive,
and had taken contract TO splll them
out on the ground In all sorts OF cmbar-
mssing shapes. What 1t Is that causes
the commOtion will perhaps never be
known, without an investigation by some
middle-ngcd person, and, If the season
was not so near over, we would inycsll-
gate the blasted thing ourself in the iN
lcrcst Of our young readers who are III
the full flush of hammOckho0d. lherc
can be nothing more annoying to ayoung
couple than to be sitting side by sue or
| facing each other, In u hammock, look
| ing into Cnch others eyes, and allowing
| the love they dare not speak to show IL
self in those orbs, and Just as they nre
feeling as though they couldn't live u
minute unless they claspcd each other to
each others hcaying bOsOms, or ut least
one heayiug bosom aud one boiled shlrt,
and then have the hammock turn bot
tom side up and land them on the back
of their nccks, on the ground, with legs
pointed toward the crab apples on the
| trees To which the hammock Is hitchcd,
arms ilinging wildly to pull down pdllta-
| looms legs, and hands COnvulsivcly claw
ing gravel, aud muslin and dclalnc,
while bushes sullusG faces that bnt u
moment before were background for the
picture Of loves young dream, and u
crowd of spectators on the hotel vcrhnua
laughing and saying, "Sct 'cm up again, y
the hammock shakes itself anu turns
right side up for other victims, ns though
II knew what Il had been doing and en-
| loved II. There are young men all over
the lpnd who have been through such
experiences, aud had to walk backward
all the way 10 the house, owing to Ms
surc veins being discovered IN the wear
Ing apparel below the suspcndcrN, while
the number Of girls that have been NOR
titled by having 10 80 to the house WIN
their back hair In one hand, their skirts
In the other, while six places between
the pOlonalsc aud the earrings were
aching like the toolhNChc from contract
with the gravel path, ARE legion, Nnd we
call upon the authorities to suppress the
hammock ~ n nuisance, More matches
have been broken up by hNmmocks Than
by nll the Sunday schools In the world,
and no grl who Is bcwlcggcd, or has nn
ankle like mlabaga should ever trust
herself In hammock, even through 1t
h held by half n dozen friends, us the
hammock will shy ut piece of paper "a
quick IN u skittish horse, aud In such 4
moment M go think not yuu are ON nll
fours, your head dizzy, aud " there Il u
hole In your stocking M small, M The old
m.cr's heart, It will look to outsiders ~
big M the gate 10 u fair ground. q, q
hammock Il worse than u bicycle
PcCk'S san.