Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1881-12-08
PTrH AND POINT.

WHAT And of robber is not danger
GUS? safe robber, of course.
IT doesn't require pair of horses to
drag out miserable existence.
The man who feels certain that he
will not succeed Is very seldom mis-
taken.
PEACOCK fe athers are emblems OF van
lty. They serve to point moral and
adorn tale.
A FAoETrogs young man calls certain
female institute "Vennor weather pre-
diction, because it contains so many
misses
In a letter to friend young lady
states that she is not engaged, but that
she sees a cloud over the horizon about
as large as a mans hand.
MARY JANE, have you given the
goldfish fresh water?" "No. ma'am.
what's the use? They haven't drunk up
what's in there yet. "
Ir was negro who acknowledged after
tempestuous voyage at sea that he was
land-lubber. He said he dubbed it so
well that he never wanted to go to sea
again.
IT was not Mrs. Darlington, but an
other old lady of the same mental build.
who said, the other evening, that she
wished the calcium days of her youth
would return.
IT all came from educating his daugh-
ter at a seminary. She reproved her
father for wiping his mouth on the ta-
blecloth, and he went to his barn and
hung himself.
"WIL1 you tell me-" asked an old
gentleman of lady, "what Mrs. 5
maiden name was ?" "Why, her maiden
aim was to get married. OF course" ex-
claimed the lady.
ARE you feeling very lie" asked
the physician 'let me see your tongue.
please" Its no use, doctor" replied
the poor patient; mo tongue can tell
how bad / feel
A DARKY philosopher says: 81 has
noticed dat all great men retains in arter
life de early impressions of childhood.
Dis scar heah is whar my fodder hit me
wild sarssfras spout. ;"
EsAN advertisement reads Wanted
A young man to be partly outdoor and
partly behind the counter - and the
Cleveland Leader asks What will be
the result when the door slams ?''
"I'M afraid you'll be late at the
party, said an old lady to her stylish
granddaughter, who replied, "Oh, you
dear grandma, don't you know that in
our set nobody ever goes to a party till
everybody gets there 2"
The Boston Commercial Bulleti,a
says: THE american Angler is a new
paper which we hope will not live by
hook and lynn" We have no doubt it
will publish de-baits, and worm its way
into piscatorial circles.
- soU are tho worst boy l ever saw %
exclaimed Brown to his son. ''Why
will you go on as you do? / should
think you would have some respect for
your father" "How can |, dad, have
any respect for man with such ras-
cally son?' said the young reprobate.
THE bashful young man who asked a
lady on the beach if "he could see her
home was much surprised to hear her
reply, that he could go up and see it
if he wanted to, but she didn't think her
father wanted to sell ;" then she coolly
walked off with the man of her choice.
QUESTION for debate Which is the
hveliest and jolliest person--the man
who drinks tea, the man who drinks
coffee, or the man who drinks beer ?
Carlyle was a tea drinker, Bayard Taylor
a beer drinker, and the coffee man can
| pick out examples to suit himself.
BARRErT's Life of Edwin Forrest y
contains many interesting anecdotes OF
the famous tragedian but there still
remain many which have never been
printed. Once, when he was playing
civilian Tell in Boston, Sarnem,
Gessler's lieutenant, should have re-
marked 81 see you love a jest but
Jest not now" Imagine Forests feel
mgs when that worthy acclaimed g
see you love Jest; but not jest now y
II UNDERSTAND you told in store
that / W. sn't a man to be depended on,
said Hickenlooper to Wigglesworth, as
they met the other morning. "'Taint
81" promptly denied Wigglesworth
"what / laid was that you was terglv-
ersQtionist. ooh well, that's quite
another thing" responded Hicken-
looper; I" I'm much obliged to you for
your good opinion, - and he shook Wig
ellsworth warmly by the hand and am
bled away
IF misery old millionaire wants to
get a reputation for hberality and
philanthropy, let him offer to give 500,
600 to a $50, 600 town for the erection of
a charitable institution, provided an
equal amount be raised by the citizens.
The citizens might not be able to raise
| 100000 if they sold all their posses
sions iii the world, but the millionaire
gets reputation for liberality all the
SANG, and it doesn't cost him cent
NOy25sfO2c1l HeT.0yd