Richland beacon., 1881-03-19

PRANKs o. YOUTH.
When ysus& two q three old fellows
OF 60 or 90 together, they are fond Of
telling stories about the pranks they
played h their youthful days, and
laughing psOudly over their misdseds.
But this isn't always q safe thing to do.
Old Judge Bees INDUCED in this recrca-
ton in tho presence of his son, aged IA.
The old man told Of quantities Of tricks
he had played upon his father, and
chuckled gleefully over them. It
reused young Bees ambition, and the
next night, when the Judge went home,
he had an awful time of it. There was
. pail Of water suspended over the front
door that tipped as he opened the door
and deluged him. He was both sur
prised and annoyed at that, and walked
into the entry with oaths upon his lips,
and Immediately his feet caught a cord
tied across the hall from the banisters to
the hat-rack, and it tripped him up and
pulled the hat-rsck over on top of him.
he was skinned in several places, and,
by the time he disengaged himself,
was awful mad He started upstairs,
and part way up cord stretched across
at the right height caught him suddenly
under the chin and threw him backward
down the stairs. Then he started to
crawl upstairs, and part way up discov-
cred . rope lying on the stairs and COM
ipg from tho top. he pulled it, and
hauled barrel down upon himself that
bounced him down stairs again. He
was nearly delirious with rage as he rose
10 his feet that time, and utterly unable
TO understand the cause of all these
contrivances being in his way. Once
more he essayed to go up, and that time
succeeded. On reaching the head of
the stairs he thought he heard q snicker,
and investigation showed his son peep
ing from his chamber and laughing.
On being taxed by the Judge with fixing
the traps tho boy owned up. "What
in tho name of heaven have I done
that made you do it?" yelled the Judge,
aghast at the boys wickedness and cool
ness. "Why, I heard you say you
played these pranks ON your father
eyes, and he licked me like blazes for
It. just -. I'll lick you." roared the
infuriated Judge. "You didn't say any
thing about being licked when you told
the stoties," cried the now frightened
boy. This was strong argument, but
the Judge wasn't in frame of mind to
appreciate it. Tho boys yells were
heard in the next ward, and he has re-
solved, ~ soon - his raw spots get well,
to runsavsy to some place where they'll
tell him the whole facts Of case. And
the judge thinks he has learned to be
careful 1Aat he says before that boy
New York Aerc,~v.
CAUSES OF WAR.
A certain King sent to another King,
.nyisg, /" Send me . blue pig with .
black tail, or else"
The other replied, ~ have not got
one, and if l had"
On this weighty cause they went to
war. After they had exhausted their
armies and resources, and laid waste
their kingdoms, they began to wish to
make peace; but before this could be
done it was necessary that the insulting
ldnauSae that led to the trouble should
b aSlsiaed. l&S1 X E-f-
"What could you mean." asked the
second King Of the first, "by saying,
Send me q blue pig with black tail, or
else" { ! -
"why.' said the other, II meant .
o,ae color. But what could You mean
by saying, I have not got one, and If /
hAd-?"
"Why, Of course, il I had I should
have sent it.
The explanation was satisfactory, and
the.peace was accordingly concluded.
Tho story Of the two Kings ought to
..rve - : E a. q lesson to us all. Most Of the
nu.rrels between individuals ars quite
a. foolish % the war Of the blue pig
With black tail.
rHERFG no HURRX:
There Is . young man studying law il
xc 0,lyeston lawyers Office, and thu
,oune man is not very regular in hi
h.b;ts. Yesterday the old lawyer said
"why didn't I - you in court yes
tsrdayi"
.B,csus I wasn't there. I reckon.
= - oouAned tony room with the tooth
.cbs. " wa the response Of the ineipien
Blackstone.
"Coms, now," said the lawyer. good
n.tursdly, "ssop thsti You viii ha~
plenty Il Tine ~ lie after yon ha,
....d. vour ->aaninatinn ,and been ID
s,;tss4tS q. s." ."-6sssssse~ Nss%i
w.u psasssns eousidlr thsnsSlve
sr;..61 Vim Nsy srs anly o6eiops
~erHh that VNoo 0ca