Democratic messenger. [volume] (Snow Hill, Md.) 1869-1973, 1881-05-07
= WISDOM.
Some '
men often
disposed young

WAoDVAs
SoMEN disposed young
men often 70 to waist.
DoN'T judge ',aracter by
The umbrella he ~ not be
his.
SOME men are neS Ssed
of devil than when l.
sessed
A FARMER friend calls
early vegetables "Waserloo,"
is a big beet.
BELIEVE about half you hear, 4
keep it to yourself, that regulations
may not suffer.
"HE DOCTOR" said old Chawbacor,
speaking of young practitioner wh,s
he could not cure ham"
A WAC was in the habit of saying: "1
know but two botanical terms, viz: au-
rora borealis and delirium tremens."
A MAN has been found who has made
some money out of the law. He Dor.
rowed from a judge and left the countrr.
The young lady in the novel who
"tripped lightly down the stairs" to
meet her lover used court plaster for her
injuries.
RAVENS fed the prophet Elijah in an
cient days, but golden eagles feed the
prophets of the present day, says the
Whitehall Times.
A PHILADELPHIA man has resolved to
starve himself to death. He will or.
gage board at watering place and
| never fee the waiter.
A TRAVELLER in Germany speaks of O
oR al A1n Iflrn n*
which never was seen In tlers.arth Bolo-
gna in the heavens above. ant
IT IS O very easy matter for : person
to be in two places at the same time.
One frequently hears of a man being in
strange country, and home sick.
WE HAVE pictures in our hearts, one and all,
Which we keep for no eye but our own,
And frightened lest the secret should be
known,
We turn the faded pictures to the wall.
W. J. LAMPToS.
The Lowell Citizen says you can bet
the next worlds fair will not be held in
New York, and If the next world has Q
fair it won't be held anywhere near that
city.
"I EXPECT to rate first. class, said an
Ann Arbor Lit to reporter, the other
day. You usually expectorate tobacco
mice" was the scribe's reply, as he Lit
out.
NEVER milk while the cow is eating
3 the advice of bucolic contemporary.
Judging from the character of much of
the milk that comes to market, it would
be more to the point never to milk while
the COW is drinking.
An ENGLISH census enumerator found
an outspoken Briton the other day who
described his occupation as ''loafer,"
and defined loafer as lone who lives
I on everybody else and better than every
body else"
The man who revenges every wrong
that is done him has no time for any
thing else. If You make your life sue
cess you can afford to let the dogs bark
as you go by.
THRRE is town OF eighteen hundred
inhabitants in Berks county without
brass band. And yet, remarkable as
may appear, the people there seem con-
tented and happy, and think life is
worth living.
YoUNa Brown told some of his COM
panions that his girl slapped his face the
other night, and he was Immediately
| consoled with the remark that it must
have been the first bright-eyed dear that
ever struck him.
THIRTEEN years ago, Mrs. Henry
Josephs, of Pine Bluff, Ark, swallowed
needle, and last thursday it was
picked out of a saw-log in Bay City,
Mich. We do not pretend to account
| for it; as it's all we can do to give the
| fact
AT temperance meeting In Williams
burg Neal Dow stated that in Maine the
officers hunted down liquor dealers a.
weasels and terriers hunted rats. That
is to say that, when q weasel wishes TO
catch rat, he first smells of his breath,
then searches his pockets.
WASHINGTON is said to be plentifugy
sprinkled with senators, who go about
murmuring, !" I want to go home" IF
they will incline their ears toward the
surrounding country, says an exchange,
"they will hear loud voice responding:
I'VE want you to come home, mighty
| quick. too.
A LITTLE girl once took letter from
her mother to an old lady friend. ".Many
thanks, my child" she said; lyon may
tell your mother that you are a good
child, and are faithful little Enessen-
GER" "Thank you, ma'am; and shall
tell hen too, that didn' ask you foE ten
cents, because mama told mo not to."