Louisiana capitolian. (Baton Rouge, La.) 1879-1881, 1881-04-30
THE TROUBLES OF CONVERTS.

'I'm very glad to meet YOU" said the
pastor Of Brooklyn church to an occa-
sional attendant, the other day. land l
have been very much pleased to see yonr
wife at our revival meetings. Have they
done her any good ?"
"Well, yes, think they have. l
heard her bowling hymns around the
house, and she generally has a couple of
cords Of old sisters there every after
noon slamming around and shooting off
exhortations. But, say, what's the mat
ter with Mrs. Hotchkiss! What has she
been up to9'
"She is one Of the strong women of
the church, sir" responded the pastor.
"she is an example. Why do you askW
Nothing, only ] heard my wife and
a couple more converts say that if Sister
Hotchkiss' hat could get through the
pearly gate camel could get through
the eye of cambria needle with the
Brooklyn Water Works Oh his back,
They've been praying around a good
deal for Sister Hotchkiss, but | don't
think she's got any more show than old
Mrs. Silver"
''Bus Sister Striver don't need any
help. She is pillar of strength and a
shining light. Hers is peaceful life and
her salvation is assured"
"That's all right don't understand
these things as women do, but that band
of saints up at my house claim that an
gels can tell a turned gOwb inst as well
as a secular dressmaker, and there amt
any place around the Throne tor wig.
l think that Mrs. steffney has hurt your
revival some, hasn't she ~
81 don't see how. Mrs. Steifney has
cen member in good standing for four
years"
Gust so. But the mention of her
name can bust up prayer meeting
quicker'n can of gun cotton. Amt
there sOme'n terrible about her cheek
Didn't she have it trimmed over! Then
there's Mrs. Slam. | tell you, parson.
you're some OH religion, but you ought
to hear them Christians pray when they
get around to old Sister SLAM! There's
a pretty good show for her getting into
the claws of the adversary, amt there y
Impossible! Her candle"
"'Tisn't her candle, it's her back hair.
Did you know it was false9 1t is, for !
heard my wife talking to the Lord an
hour and a half about it. And they say,
parson, that she hasn't got but two
dresses to her back and one of those is
so short behind that she can't wear it in
dry weather. They've been trying to
fix it up SO Slam can get through, but
they're rather respondent, parson, they
don't seem to have much hope. What's
this hear about you and the Widow
Spalding? Eth, you fat rascal! There's
where there'll be trouble"
III can't imagine how. She gave he
q pair Of blankets
"Why, yes, and that mob of old peli.
cans who are regulating religion around
my rancho have just put the Lord in
possession Of the fact, and they know
where she's going. They had an awful
row the other day, because one of then
suggested that she might repent. Come
pretty near being revival. They're Q
pious lot, and my wife is head Of the
devil outfit"
II am glad your wife is impressed,
said the pastor, solemnly.
ooh. she has. She's got the worst
pressure of religion on you ever saw
She's converted clean through to hel
spine, and she says that she can't de
enough for Lord who made her SO diff
ferent from Slam and that gang, and She.
making some new frocks to go to the so
cables in Keep it up, parson. You're
getting them into the fold, but you'd bet
ter have some arrangement about Sister
Hotchkiss and her mob. or you'll thinl
bimeby that your church was a tel
pound cartridge, rammed well home ant
touched off with q streak of lightning.
These new Christians won't stand an,
second hand Christianity now, you hea,
me-" and the wise son of the world Wen
away specializing upon the difference i
would make among men if one of then
; should confess his sins in pair o
patched trousers.
It's estimated that Whittaker's ear