The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1881-06-10
Mark Twain on the Art of War.

at banquet given to the Society of the
Army of the Potomac, last Wednesday
evening, Mr.. Samuel L. Clemens, MARK
Twaln). responded to the toast "The Ben
eft Of Judicious Training" as follows:
I'm what I have to say, gentlemen. am
backed up by the highest military author
tiles, as my information was obtained from
West Point.
To begin, gentlemen, when an engages
ment is meditated, it is best to feel the
enemy first, that is if it is night, for, as
not need to feel him in the daytime, be-
cause you can see him then. | never
should have thought of that, but it is true,
| perfectly true. In the daytime the meth
DDS of procedure are various, but the best,
it seems to me. is one which was intro
duced by Gen. Grant. Gen. Grant always
sent an active young man redoubt to re-
connoitre and get the enemies bearings.
l got this from high officer at the Point
who told me he used to be a redoubt on
Gen. Grants staff, and had done it often.
When the hour for battle is come, move to
the field with celerity-fool away no time.
| Under this head / was told of favorite
maxim of Gen. Sheridan's. Gen. Sheridan
always said, IF the siege train isn't ready,
|
dy, To get there is the main thing. Now
that is the correct idea, as you approach
the field it is better to get out and walk.
This gives you better chance to dispose
of your forces judiciously for the assault.
Get your artillery into position and throw
out stragglers to the right and left to hold
your lines of communication against surs
prise, see that every hod carrier connected
with mortar battery is at his post. They
told me at thePoint that Napoleon desplsed
mortar batteries and never would use
them. He said that for real efficiency he
wouldn't give hatful of bricks for ton
OF mortar. However, that is all he knew
aboutit
Everything being ready for the assault,
you want to enter the field with your bag
gage to the front. This idea was invented
by our renowned guest, Gen. Sherman.
They told me that Gen. Sherman said that
the trunks and baggage make q good pros
lection for the soldiers, but chiefly they at
tract the attention and riyet the interest
OF the enemy, and this gives you an oppor-
tunlty to whirl the other end of the cols
umn around and attack him in the rear. /
have given good deal of study to this tao
tie since learned about it, and it appears
to me thatlt is a rafting good idea. Never
fetch on your reserves at the start. This
was Nepoleon's first mistake at Waterloo.
Next, he assaulted with his bomb proofs
ought to have used heavier artillery.
Thirdly, he retired his right by Ricochet-I
which uncovered his pickets-when his on
Iy possibility of success lay in doubling |
up his centre flank, and throwing out his |
cheuaus de .fi1se by the left oblique to re-
heve the skirmish line and confuse the en- |
envy, II such manHuvre would confuse |
him, and at West Point they said it would. |
1t was about this time that the Emperor
had two horses shot under him.
mark that General So and So, in
such and such battle, had two or three
horses shot under him. Gen. burnside /
and many great European military men, as +
was informed by high military officer
at West Point. have justly characterized
this as wanton waste of prolectiles. and I
he impressed upon me q conversation in
the tent of the Prussian chiefs at Grave
lotte. in the course of which our honored |
guest just referred to--Gen. Burnside
observed that If you can't aim a horse so
as to hit the General with it, shoot it over
him and you may bag something on the
other side; whereas horse shot under a
general does no sort of damage. l agree
cordially with Gen. Burnside, and heaven
knows will rejoice to see the artilerists
of this land and of all lands cease from this
wicked and idiotie custom,
At West Point they told me Of another
mistake at Waterloo. namely. that the
French were under fire from the beginning
of the fight till the end-which was plainly
a most effeminate and ill-timed attention
to comfort, and foolish division of mill
tary strength, for it probably took as many
men to keep up the fires as it did to do the
fighting! 1t would have been much bet
ter to have had a small fire in the rear, and
let the men go there by detachments and
get warm, and not try. to warm up the
vy-nk late ,rafd
that an assault along the whole line was
the one thing which could have restored
adva1tags at this juncture, and
he was actually rising up in his stirrups to
order 1t, when q sutler burst at his side
and covered him with dirt and debris, and
before he could recover Wellington opened
a tremendous and devastating fire upon
him from INDUSTRIOUS battery Of VIVIAN
dieres, and the star of the great Captains
glory set to rise no more. The cadet wept
while he told me these mournful particu-
lars.
When you leave battlefield, always
leave it in good order; remove the wreck
and rubbish, and tidy up the place. How
eyer, in the case of a drawn battle it is
neither party's business to tidy up any
thing You can leave the field looking as
if the City Government of New York had
bossed the fight. When you are traversing
the enemy's country, in order to destroy
his supplies and cripple his resources you |
want to take along plenty of camp flowers.
The more the better. They are a tremen- :
dously effective arm of the service, and
they inspire in the foe the hytliest dread.
A West Point professor told me that the
wisdom of this was recognized as far back
as Scripture times. He quoted the verse. {
He said it was from the new revision. and
was little different from the way it reads
in the old one, l do not recollect the exact
wording of it now, but l remember that it j
wound up with something about such and I
such devastating agent being as terrible
rs an army with bummers.n / believe
have nothing further to add but this: The
West Pointers said private should
preserve respectful attitude toward his !
superiors. and should seldom, or never. I
proceed so far as to offer suggestions to his ]
General in the field If the battle is not
conducted to suit him it is better for him
TO resign. BY the etiquette of war it is
TO none below the rank of news .
paper correspondent to dictate to the Gen
eral in the field. II
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