Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1881-08-20

Inspired BY the suecess OF Their
Fishing ExcursiOn They Take f
10 a Rtrd Hunt.

! 4 =
r Inspired BY the Suecess OF TheI
! Fishing Excursion They Take
! 20 a bird RHunt.
t ltsgsri9,,. Brooklyn Eagle., laers.s..
5 ssSay, my dear,,' said Mr.. Spoop
! endyke, as he drew a gun from tn,
case and eyed it critically, 81 waf
} 1youa to wake me up early in tlll
morning Pm going shooting." &
: lssslsn't that too sweet ~ calculated
: Mrs. SDoopendyke. ssI'Il wear my
neWidress and my Saratoga waves
J Where do we go2n M
ftIAm going down on the island
and you'll probably go as far as tbs
Il front door," grunted hIr. Spoopen.
i dyke. s'Women don't go shooting.
il It's only mem Ahiyou've got to dc
is to wake me up and get breakfast.
When come home we'll have some
) birds.u
ahWon't that be nice?v chimed
Mrs, Spoopendyke. "Can you
dcatch birds with that thing?p and
/ Mrs. SpoOpendyke huttered around
the improved breech-loading shot
gun, firmly impressed with the
idea that it was some kind of trap.
81 can kill 'em with that" ex-
Ilplained Mr.. Spoopendyke. THAT
is a gun; it isn't a nest with three
speckIed eggs in it, nor is it a barn
with a hole in the roof. You stick
your cartridge in here and pull this
finger-piece, and down comes your
bird every time.n
a swell, isn't that the greatest
thing? / suppose you don't want a
partridge; you can stick duck or
a turkey in that end, too, or lob
ster, and bring it down just as
quick"
"Yes and you can stick a house or
corn field or dod gasted female
idiot in there, too, if you want to J"
snorted Mr.. Spoopendyke. "Who
said anything about a partridge? 1t
is cartridge that goes in there !"
"Ohp calculated Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke, rather crestfallen. II see
now Where does the bird go?
Ee goes to night school if he
HASN'T got any more sense than
you have" snorted Mr.. SpoOpen-
dyke. "Look here, now, and I'll
show you how it works." and Mr..
Spoopendyke, whose ideas Of a gun
were as vague as those Of his wife,
inserted the cartridge half way in
the muzzle end, and cautiously
cooked the weapon.
"And when the bird sees that he
comes and pecks at it. Isn't that
the funniest ?" and Mrs. SpOopen-
dyke clapped her hands in the en-
joyment of her discovery. "Then |
you put out your hand and catch |
him."
"You've struck I" howled Mr..
Spoopendyke, who had the ham
mer on the half cock, and was vain
ly pulling at the trigger to get it
down. "That's the idea All you
need is four feathers and gas bill
to be martingale! With your no
tions, you only want new stock
and steam trip hammer to be a
needle gun! Don't you know the
dod gasted thing has to go off be-
fore you get bird You shoot the
birds, you don't wait for 'em to shoot
you 70
SAT home we used always to chop
their heads off with an aX.n faltered
Mrs. Spoopendyke.
$50 would I il was going after
measly old hens" retorted Mr..
Spoopendyke, who managed to un-
lock the contrivance, "but when
| 90 for yellow birds and-sparrows,
/ 90 like sportsman. While am
waiting for Bird" continued Mr..
Spoopendyke, adjusting the car
fridge at the breech.
fran /
And when / see flock l aim and
fire."
Bang went the gun, knocking
the tail feathers out of an eight-day
clock and plowing a foot furrow in
the wall, perforating the closet-door
ana eliminating in Mr.. SpoOpen-
dykes plug hat.
"Goodness, gracious 20 squeaked
Mrs. Spoopendyke. "Oh my !"
Mr.. Spo0pendyke gathered him.
self up and contemplated the dam
age. -
"Why couldn't you keep stilIw
ne shrieked. "What'd we want to
disturb my aim and make me let it
off? Think 1 can hold back a
charge of powder and a pound of
shot while a measly woman is scar
ng it through a gun-barrel ?"
1sIf that had BEEN bird, how
nicely you would have shot it'' {
suggested Mrs. Spooopendyke,
eff you should ever
i'm at bird you'd catch him
ure ~
"Oh! you know what could do ! 3
With your information about gun
lery you only need a wad in your s
mouth and kick like mule to be
mountain howitZer! If | had i
,our intelligence on sporting sub
ects, I'd hire out for shot tower. {
DON'T you know you've spoiled the
lod gasted gun ?" And Mr.. Spoop- c
anxious for some excuse to d
AXE it back to his friend Speckle- c
vottle, who loaned it to him, held it t
ut and eyed his wife sternly. "You a
ave ruined that gum" he contin-
ed soIemnly. cit won't ever go off
gain"
stNever mind, DEAR" continued
frs. Spoopcndyke. "It's been off O
nough. I'D just as leave have s
ONE CLAIMS as birds. You go to bed
nd we'Il try to get along without =
irds." !,
''It won't ever go off again." re- i
eated Spoopendyke, as he climbed I
nto his couch. 'That's ruined ),
un." and he turned his face to the =
vail. !;
Mrs. Spoopendyke slowly disrob- y
d, having first turned a stream of Z
1ater into the gun from the faucet, = !,
nd betook her to rest. "It must =
OF go off again." she thought, "but J, =
il does the neighbors will think - =
he Waterman has bust" with !
,hich reflection she began to pat 3 y
he ear of Mr.. Spoopendyke, who 4 4
lrned over likean earthquake, and :.
,anted to know if she thought she y
admit done enough mischief with = :,
at lamming him like dod gasted ,
/!
A GrandmePhew OF burns.