The Hickman courier. [volume] (Hickman, Ky.) 1859-current, 1881-03-04
HUMORs OF THE DAY.

CApTAIS EADs' ship railroad is no new
idea. Didn't Charon pull boat over
Styx?
The only hand in the world which
blesses those who grasp it is full
hand.
A MAN in Virginia has discovered the
eleventh commandment 1T Is: Let
them chickens alone
They eat peanuts in Chicago theatres
without disturbing anybody. The trick
is to soak the shells.-Det'oit Free
Press
A CORRESPONDENT asks us what is the
relation of university to an ordinary
college 1t is step farther. Boston
Transcript.
Il wouLDN'T have left, but the people
kinder egged me on, said a man who
was asked why he left his Kansas home
in hurry.
AN. exchange remarks that the free use
of punch often enables men to see stars
in the day time. They get into the
milky way.
81 HAVE been present at many re-
ligious awakenings," said the fly, as he
passed from one bald spot to another III
a neighboring pew.
A NEW YoIK ice company has cut
300,000 tons of ice on the Hudson-the
| biggest cold feat on record. - Boston
| CoWUercidt ad,erfiscr.
A SoUrn Fs,,p Iandiady says she doesn't
| understand the lpeyllele 81 AIR Jones s
:. .so4sr K is.a my ztefy h boz Size can't
see through -BosAop Pest.
tPEorIE generally dream of their
occupations, says the Philadelphia
Ncrs. The body snatcher must have a
nice time of it, when he's asleep.
CurrISG of hens head viii make her
a chicken. There is no other way TO
account for the fact that broiled hens are
never found on restaurant bills OF fare.
WHEN two old biblical scholars sit
down to a quiet tefc-a-tcte to discuss
some llnotty point IL religion and science,
can they be alluded TO as common tete-a-
tatcrs?
THE Baroness Burdett- Coutts has pre-
scented her husband with "a magnificent
stud of thoroughbred hunters. Her af-
lection for him IS stable one. -EhitG-
dciphja Bulletin.
IT takes a justice with an awful sight
Of cheek to tell merchant that a jury
of his peers has decided so and SO, when
the said peers consist of four old buns
and two corner loafers.
YES, energy and strict attention to
business are the true guides to success.
Thirty years ago friendless boy went to
Chicago and began life in a coal yard
working for $40 a month. To-day he is
driving horse car.
A PHILADELPAIA doctor denounces the
use of baby carriages Ssh, madam, don't
be so violent; word with you-he is
fifty-three years old, and a bachelor Tc
be sure; what does he know about it;
burlington Hatokeye.
A MERCHANT was playing cards with {
railroad official, who was rather sleepy
at the time 81 pass said the mer
chant. The railroad man was awake IL
an instant. "No you don't, said he
mot on this line You pay your fare o.
walk.
THEY had been at the masquerade
VIII re she had recognized him at once
"Was it the loud beating of my heart
my darling. that told you I was near?'
murmured he. "Oh, no, she replied
q recognized your crooked legs. "-Neu
York Net0s.
A CINCINNATI man found n rough-look
ing individual III his cellar d" Who ar,
Won 2" he demanded 1.-THE gas MAI
come to take the meter" was the reply
"Great heavenl cried the householder
Il hoped you were only a burglar. -
Boston Post.
I'HE nineteen-year-old Illinois infan
named Coffee, who was adjudged to pay
a blighted female aged fifty-six for hear
damages, has been allowed TO settle, the
grounds of the complaint being insult
ficient for imprisonment-N Yorl
Commercial AdUertiSer.