Middletown transcript., 1881-04-01
THAT CORSET.
AN ARM THAT IS NOT RELIABLE.

AN ARM THAT is NOT RELIABLE.
A young fellow about nineteen, who
is going with his first girl, and who
lives on the West Side, has got the
symptoms awfully. He just thinks of
nothing else but his girl, and when he
can be with her, which is seldom, on
occount of the old folks, he is there,
and when he cannot be there, he is
there or thereabouts, in his mind. He
had been trying for three months to
think of something to give his girl for
a Christmas present, but he couldn't
make up his mind what article would
cause her to think of him the most, so
the day before Christmas he unbosomed
himself to his employer, and asked his
advice as to the proper article to give.
The old man is baldheaded and mean.
''You want to give her samething
that will be constant reminder of
you ?''
Yes, he said, that was what was the
matter.
'tDoes she have any corns 2'' asked
the old wretch.
The boy said he had never inquired
into the condition of her feet, and
wanted to know what corns had to do
with it. The old man said if she had
corns pair of shoes about two sizes
too small would cause her mind to
dwell on him good deal. The boy
said shoes wouldn't do.
The old man hesitated moment,
scratched his head, and finally said, 81
have it suppose sir, when you are
alone with her, in the parlor, that you
put your arm around her waist, do you
not, sir ?"
The young man blushed and said that
was about the size of it.
81 presume she enjoys that part of
the discourse, eh p
The boy said that as as near as he
could tell, by the way she acted she was
not opposed to being held up.
"Then, sir, can tell you of an ar
ticle that will make her think of you in
that position all the time, from the
moment she gets up in the morning tilr
she retires."
tIs there any attachment to it that
will make her dream of me all night p
asked the boy.
mo sir! Don't be hog" said the
bad man.
''Then what is it ?''
The old man said one word: "Corsetl''
The young man was delighted, and he
went to a store to buy nice corset.
"What size do you want ?'' asked
the girl who waited on him.
That was puzzler. He didn't know
they came in sizes. He was about to
tell her to pick out the smallest size,
when he happened to think of some
thing.
':Take tape measure and measure
my arm. That will Just fit.
The girl looked wise, as though she
had baen there herself, found that it
was a twenty-five inch corset the boy
wanted, and he went home and wrote
note and sent it with the corset to his
girl He didn't hear anything about it
till the following Sunday, when he
called on her. She received him coldly,
and handen him the corset saying, with
a tear in her eye, that she had never ex-
pected to be insulted by him. He told
her he had no intention of insulting
her, that he could think of nothing
that would cause her to think of the
gentle pressure Of his arm around her
waist as well as a corset, but if she felt
insulted he would take his leave, give
The corset to some poor family, and go
drown himself. He was about to go
away when she burst out crying, and
sobbed on his shoulder the following
words, wet with salt brine
at was v-v-very thoughtful of wy
you, but c-couZdnt t-f-feel 1t 1t is
'-f-four sizes too b-b-big! Why didn't
you get number eighteen? You are
silent, you cannot answer, enough. ="
They instinctively found their way to
he sofa, mutual explanations followed,
le measured her waist again, saw where
le had made mistake by his fingers
apping over on the first turn, and he
-owed by the beard of the prophet, he
would change it for another, if she had
lot worn it and got it soiled. They are
,etter now.-Peck's Sun.