Daily Republican., 1881-05-11
RREYITIES.

Sun rises at 4.45..........Sun sets 10.
Tapestry, wool and velvet mats 99c. store.
Parker, cupping and leeching, lO3 L. I'd st.
One hour to-day is worth two tomorrow.
Great bargains fOurat w. ). ToWnSend'S
Sixth and Iatnall streets.
For good cigar go to Nichols, 8l3 Market
street, first class Pool table in rear.
Awnings of superior quality, at the lowest
market rates, at John Willie'S, 4O4 Market st.
After running for three years, Jones, the
athlete, caught the smallpox.
All portraits of Alexander the Third
should be engraved by Czartaln.
Why the l-rush?-[New Jersey Enter
prise. Red hair perhaps.
Nothing throws man off his guard Sc
quick as being struck by fast mail train.
Families can be supplied with the best
-four at TOwnsend's, 9th and Tatnall streets
The place for fine American Gold watches
| is IL East Fourth street.
The side Nihilists are on ; Regicide. Tip
piers motto: Don't give up the sip,
Great bargains in tiourat W.S. Townsen DIS
Sixth and 1atnall streets.
A Baltimore girl'J idea of pun was eX
pressed by the cOnceit that old bachelors
must live on stale bread-they are so crusty.
There is one word in our language which
NAV be pronounced quicker by adding to its
length, and that word is quick itself.
Said bachelor philosopher: My friend
conducted his future wife to the aitar-and
here his leadership came to an end.
A bachelor bequeathed his property to the
girls who had refused him. "For to them l
owe all my earthly happiness"
For a good pair of crystal spectacles call on
r1a residence
Market street.
Dr Browns Tonic can be bought from the
agent. mt the United States Hotel tor two
days.
Ifyou want to see crowd go to Harry Got
walls parlors, Sl2 Market street; his ice cream
is fine and the people will have 1t.
An advertisement in q country paper COM
menced thus: ''To be let Immediately, or
sooner if necessary.
Why does every bridegroom perform MS
own musical hOnOrS? Because ne can
marry without ringing his own belle.
,Jerbold says that young boys who marry
old maids ''gather in he.spring of life the
golden fruits of autumn"
"As far AS l can see," says UBrcn, 'the
life of man consists of getting into scrapes
and getting out of them"
What is the difference between tight shoe
and n tug boat? One barks the toe, ana the
other tows the bark.
WHY are strawberries in winter like pair
of nntlered bucks? Because they are too
dear 1.-TWO deer)'
What Is the difference between Noah's Ark
and loan of Arc? One was made OF gophar
wood, and the other was Maid of Orleans.
Gaelic newspaper is to be established in
Ireland. We shall try and get gay lick at
it with our shears.
The reason why a sick burglar is 10th to
have doctor called, is because he fears he
might ''give him up"
Buy your furniture and bedding at l.. F.
Adair's, 207 Market street, if you want to
save money.
CALL AND EXAMINE THE IMPROVED COR
RUGATED CONF BOTTOM WATER COOLERS, ALSO
A FULL ASSORTMENT OF ICE CREAM FRBEzERS
AT H. +. PICKELs, and EAST 4TH STREET
A Jersey debating society is discussing the
question whether an egg is of the masculine
or feminine gender. Well, people will differ
over such little things. Our b0arding-house
keeper boiled some eggs the other morning,
and one boarder found his to be rooster,
while two others were t'Other kind. There
was o small difference Of opinion right then'