Daily Republican., 1881-05-09
RREVITgE&.

Sun rises at 4.41 Sun sets 7.OS.
Did you ever read the sun?
Clocks for 99c. also higher priced ones
Parker, cupping and leeching, 1903 L. I'd st
An exhaustive articlc-Thc stomach pump
Great bargains in llourat w. 5. Townsend s
Sixth and 1atnall streets.
Families can be supplied with the best
| -four at TOwnscnd'S 9th and Tatnall streets
| The place for fine American Gold watches
| is ii East Fourth street
Great bargains in tourat W. 5. Townsend's
Sixth and Tatnall streets.
Awnings of superior quality, at the lowest
market rates, at John WillieS, 404 Market st.
Wanted: A cat who has exhausted eight
of hor lives. Wen attend to the ninth.
Camp meeting whisky is great spiritual
medium.
No, Melinda, plgheaded men do not have
pig heads,
Becr-wagon drivers are always at logger
heads.
stammcrng man has IL good chance tc
take the SOBER second thought.
For II good cigar 90 to Nichols, Sl3 Market
street, tiiEt class Pool table in rear
For good pair of crystal spectacles call on
Prof Charles Italie, private residence 227
| Market street.
IfyOu want to see q crowd go to Harry Got
walls parlOrs. Sl2 Market street:hiS ice cream
is tnG and the people will have it.
Headquarters for cottage furniture spring
beds, feathers and mattresses, are ut l.. +.
Adairs, No. 2O7 Market street.
Every Detroit tailor who buildsl himself a
house puts lightning rod on it to give cleo
tricty fits.
At seven years of age girl will cry if com
pelled to sit along side of boy. VIII she
when she is sixteen years old
Men in the iron ore business never object to
rainy weather, because they.arc accustomed
to puddles.
There are some $4,000 more females than
males In philadelphia, and yet some people
wonder why some girls marry boW'legged
men.
CALL AND EXAMINE THE IMPROVED COR
RIGATED CONE BOTTOM WATER COOLERS, ALSO
A FULL ASSORTMENT OF ICE CREAM PREEZERs
ATH, +, PICKELs, 7 and EAST 4TH STREET.
Some one has discovered that cats are
never killed with lightning, ana 1t IS be-
lieyed a dozen of them on Il roof would keep
thunder bolts at n respectful distance.
Anv man who has had his nose t1attencd or
his thumb driven up to his elbow, can Halter
himself that he has helped to open the base
ball season.
Cincinnati no longer calls herself the Paris
of America since the discovery that over half
her population is German. She's the Berlin
Of the border.
"Seek only the intense" says writer in
the pringfctzRepublican We would like
to he present to see that individual put his
hand in hre.
Ifa costermonger's donkey, in the tempo
rary absence of his master, wQe to overturn
thn harrow and cat all the Comestibles, what
point of type would it represent?-An ass
trick.
eyes" she said as she laid down her work
on astronomy, 81 find my opinions varying as
the light of science beams upon my mind l
used TO believe in the man in the moon, but l
don't now, unless it is honeymoon"
"You old vulture, your she exclaimed,
when he limited that five bonnets year were
enough for any ordinary woman. Next day,
when he relented and told her to order
sixth, it would have made an angel smile to
hear her sweetly call him "Birdie.'
When q young man in Ohio went to q
neighbor's dairy to see his sweetheart, who
had charge Of the institution, and asked
timidly of the old man: Kew Is the milk
maid ?'the old man angrily slammed the
door in his face and muttered. "Our milk
isn't made-it's got from cows.
DIR. Talmags when in Scotland was visiting
o friend who resided on very high noun
tain. His way of conveyance to the top OF the
mountain was on the back of a mule. About
half way up, the mule stepped and began to
scratch his ear with his hind foot "Here, >,
said the Dr., "if you arc going to get On III
get or"