davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1881-09-15
Warmers Safe Kidney and Liver Cure
How did be Get Here ?

Watkins has a tortoise that he found
in the mud the other day in front Of his
store after the heavy rain, and he is
pulling his brain over the question of
how he got here. There isn't tortoise
within fifteen hundred miles, and the
natural supposition is THAI he rained
down. He is about ten inches long, by
seven OF eight wide, and as pretty as n
high-back comb.
At first the theory was that he had
walked over the Union Pacific road
from San Francisco, but more mature
thought revealed the fact, that at the
usual rate of speed manifested by the
tortoise, together with the necessary
loss of time fooled away along the road
in rest and sleep, in addition to the
natural delayvEom washouts and bad
weather, this tortoise would require
1000 years to pass through the space
alluded to. 1t is evident that the rep
tile is not 1000 years old, so the tramp
theory is evidently incorrect.
We are. therefore. led to believe that
some day that the tortoise was basking
in the bright sun, sleeping on the bosom
of wave, he was gathered up into the
armament by water-spout and carried
over the Rocky mountain range, and
then dropped on Second street.
Whether this is true or not there is
food for thought in it, and if you don't
believe our statement you can 90 to
Watkins and see the tortoise himself
Nue's Boomerang.
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1881-09-15
How to get a Full Milk Pail,

We assume that the COW Is properly
fed Lacking this condition, no COW
can milk as she ought, says the London
Ltce Stock journal. But careful feed.
ing seems to have but little influence on
the milking properties Of some cows
they lay on flesh instead. Yet, as they
have first of all to live before they can
think of giving much milk, or in fact
any milk ut all worth speaking of, and
as about two.thirds Of the food they
have an appetite for goes TO sustain tho
offices of life, it is clear that UNDER
feeding will not lead to profit. This
is proposition well enough estab-
lished, and it appeals alike to our judg-
mcnt and interest. Yet, after all, breed
is of the first Importance, because with
out 1t good feeding is Of small effect on
the milk pail; but, il we have both
breed and feed, the pail will overflow
If we let it. Breed, then, is first; food,
next then good milking by hand, kind
treatment, shelter from the storm, and
all that.
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1881-09-15
THE DAILY BULLETIN.
The Lightning Express Of the Seas.

Some time ago mention was made in
the papers of novel steam craft, tho
invention of Californian, which, in
stead of blowing through the water
after the old fashion, is to be borne on
buoyant revolving globes, the hull
being supported entirely above the sur
face Of the water. When this strange
craft was mentioned before, only q
model had been experimental with,
and it was announced that the inyen-
tor was about to construct passenger
vessel to ply between New York on one
of the watering places not far from
there. The New York Banker says
that 'preliminary experiments promise
astounding results. 1t already seems
certain that this vessel will be the light
ming express and fast mail of the seas. "
There does not seem to be any good
reason to doubt that this craft will make
extraordinary time on smooth water.
and. as these are to be driven by en-
gines, there will be no moro resistance
to the progress of the boat than is Of
fered to the progress of locomotive
passing over q smooth track. But the
craft will necessarily be top.heavy, and
will hardly be able to ride q heavy sea,
or weather storm.
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1881-09-15
Hoop-Skirts.

The crinoline worn at the queen
state ball was something appalling. 1t
was the gossip of the room, to the ex-
clusion of love, politics, and war, that
crinoline, in all its hideous deformity.
had not only arrived at England's door,
but had crossed the threshold. 1t is
said that Worth, the famous man mil
liner of Paris, found it necessary, with
the many rivals he had to contend with,
to do something that no one else was
doing, and by coup, as it were, re-
assert himself. The reason why the
EmpressEugenie broughtit into fashion
in 1857, is, as likely as not, the true
cause of its temperance in London
this season, for more than one aristo-
cratic married belle, it is whispered.
would have had to absent herself from
public gaze for certain period. had
not the obscuring hoop come kindly to
her rescue.
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1881-09-15

Bitters.
Ifyou have kept late hours and lived
contrary to the laws of health, use Frazi,rs
Root Bittors.
If you need toning up, take Fraziers
Root Bitters.
If you have abused instead of used na-
lures gifts, use Frazier's Bitters.
If you feel old before your time, use
Fraziers Bltters.
fife has become burden and you have
gloomy forebodings, use Frazier's Bitters.
Ifyour hands tremble and your eyes have
grown dim, Frazier's Root Bitters will
make you feel young again. Sold by all
druggists everywhere at the low price 81 90
per bottle. FRANK S. HENRY & Co.
Sole Props, Cleveland, o.
For sale by GEO. E. O'HARA, Druggist.
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1881-09-15

Charles Martin, in Indiana, went out
the other night 'cooning, and OF length
he found what he thought was an inn
mense coon up a tree and forthwith
he climbed after IL. But the tree wasn't
cooniferous; the varmint was bear,
and no member of the peace society,
either. A sharp contest ensued, and
Martins efforts were soon rewarded by
hearing something tumble to tho
ground II was the bear which stayed
up In the tree, and tho hunter was glad
enough TO DO allowed to limp home, in
stead Of being carried there in Martin
box.
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1881-09-15
Electrical Light Patents,

About IT'S patents have SO far been
granted for patents relating to cleo
trical lighting, in this country, and
about 800 more for applications for
patents thereon are now pending.
When we consider the large number
of patents now existing for telegraph
ing instruments, telephones, alarms,
electrical batteries. switches, and the
divisions of electrical devices, it will
readily be understood that the Patent
Office at Washington is rapidly becom-
ing great storehouse of novelties re-
lating TO electricity, and that this
branch of invention is already one of
extraordinary magnitude. - Scientific
american.
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1881-09-15
A Prize of Beauty

would never have been awarded TO Venus
if her teeth had been yellow. Frail mortal,
unlike the deities Of fable, have perishable
teeth, but these they may retain unimpair-
ed to an advanced age, if they will use
SOZODONT, which keeps the teeth free
from impurities which, destroy them and
renders them objects Of admiration. 1t is
pure, refreshing, leaves an agreeable flavor
in the mouth, and sweetens the breath.
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1881-09-15
Beautifers.

Ladies, you cannot make fair skin, rosy
cheeks and sparkling eyes with all the cos
metcs of France, or beautifers of the
world, while in poor health, and nothing
will give you such good health, strength,
buoyant spirits and beauty as Hop Bitters
A trial is certain proof. See another col
umn.--Telegraph.
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1881-09-15
Don't Get the Chills.

If you are subject to ague you must be
sure to keep your liver, bowels and kidneys
in good free condition. When 80, you will
be safe from all attacks. The remedy to
use is Kdney-Wert. 1t is the best preven-
titive of ali mslarial diseases that you can
take. See advertisement In another column.
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1881-09-15
Burnett's Cocaine.
A LADY's HAIR SAVED BY IT'S USE.

Burnetts Cocaine will keep the hair in
strong and healthy condition by stimulat-
ing the roots of the hair and restoring the
natural action upon which its growth de-
ponds. Twenty years ago single bottle
saved lady's hair in desperate case
where every treatment had failed; and
since that early success thousands of cases
of Badness, Dandruff, Loss of Hair and r.
ritatlon Of the Scalp have yielded to this
remedy.
The superiority of Buruett's Flavoring
Extracts consists in their perfect purity and
great strength.
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1881-09-15

ONE year since Mr.. II. Young, of Kan
kakee, His, fell from a root 10 feet high
and broke his wrist. Since that time it
has given him great pain, which nothing
would subdue until St. Jacobs Oil had
been applied, which relieved him at once.
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1881-09-15
Natures Triumph.
FRAzrER's ROOT BITTERs.

II you are weak, or languid, use Frazior's
Bittels.
49,, ~ your flesh is nabby and your com.
''Is'on saliow, use Frazicrs Bltters.
~, you i've in a malariol district, use
a worn down with the care Of children,
use Frazier's Bltters.
Al you nave got the blues, use Fraziers
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1881-09-15
TESTIMONIALS TO DIR. FELLOWS.

NTothe undersigned clergymen of the Metho-
w dist church in Nova Scotia having used the
preparation known az Fellows Compound Syrup OF
HypOphosphites, prepared by Mr.. James l. Eel
lows, chemist, st John, y. b., or having known
cases wherein its effects were beneficial, believe II
10 be reliable remedy for the diseases for which II
is recommended.
JAMES G HENNIGAR, JOHN McMURRAY,
Pres. of Conference. EXPIRES of Conference
WIN. SARGENT, RIBHARD W. WEDDALL,
JOHN A. MOSHER, ALEX W. NICHOLSON,
jon y W. HOWE, CRANSWICK JoSI,
STEPHEN T. HUESTIS ROWLAND MORTON,
JOHN JOHNSON
tYS-The proprietor has letters from various parts
Of the Dominion, the Uuited States and from Eng.
land, verifying the assertions herein contained
which will be shown at his office on application.
They relate to the cure Of Diseases OF the lungs,
heart, stomach, etc.
Fellows Compound Syrup of 1lypophosphites
Speedily aud permanently cures congestion of the
lungs, bronchitis. consumption, nervous prostra-
ton, shorness Of bresth, palpitatou Of the heart,
trembling OF the hands and limbs, physical and
mental Depression oss Of appetite, loss OF energy,
loss Of memory, and will rapidly improve the
functions and organs Of the body which
depend for health upon voluntary and involuntary
nervous action. 1t acts with ugor, gcntleucss and
aubtety, owing to the exquisite harmony of its in
gradients akin to pure blood itself.
SOLD BY ALL DRUGGISTS.
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1881-09-15

IT 10 simply marvellous how quickly con-
stipadon, biliousness sick headache, fever
and ague, and malaria, are cured by "Sel
lers' LAYER Pill"
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1881-09-15

Persons who Stand Upon Their Feet,
whether men or women, are often troubled
with serious pains and weaknesses in the
back, lions and other parts of the body. 1t
has been proven beyond doubt, however,
that Warmers Safe Kidney and Liver Cure
is certain preventive of these troubles.
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1881-09-15
Morgan Park Military Academy.

Tho hes, Boys Boarding School IN tho We ,si
Prepares for College Scientific school or Bnpi'
ness. Location attractive and elevated, Session
begins Sep. 10, 1881, Send for catalogue 70 Dap.'
ED N. KIRK TALC0TT, Prin, Morgan f"rk'
Cook Co., III.
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1881-09-15
-- q
For You,
Madam,

Whose complexion betrays
some humiliating imperfeC.
ton, whose mirror tells you
that you are Tanned, SallOw
and dis6gured in COuntenance,
or have EruptiOns, Redness,
ROughness or unwhOle 8 ONE
tints of complexion, we say
use Hagan's Magnolia Balm.
Tits q delicate, harmless and
delightful article, producing
the most natural and entranc.
Ing tints, the artiflcia!ity OF
which no observer can detect,
and which soon becomes per-
manent II the Magnolia Balm
Is judiciously used.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1881-09-02

About 5000 pounds of roses are re
quired to produce one pound of the altar
OF roses, This delightful perfume is
chiefly produced in Bulgaria, where the
yield in 1880 was estimated at $1,000,
600.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1881-09-02
THE INTERCHANGEABLE DEAD.

They change not though the world is ever chang
ing;
In memory still they live, the dear ones gone,
While others lice, they seem to fondly linger,
TO cheer our pathway as We wander lone.
They live t1 bless us ever,
Discovered from us never.
The worlds great throng Is swiftly by us hastlng
Their eyes Intent on Turing prizes sought
While our loved dead look kindly on us ever,
with smiles more sweet than gold has ever brought
Their eyes lOtk cUldly never,
Their love endures forever.
Upon our minds, our looks, our senses failing,
Time chsels changes as the years hit by,
stu chsels none upon the features loving,
Smi ing upon us with an undimmed eye
They look and love forever,
Unklndly gazing never.
When all our years nave He'd, the last departing,
When lends have changed Ia e been and pas
sed away,
Unchanged our lead are near the only living
Adown eternal years prolonglng stay.
Our dead desert us never,
Are with us now and ever.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1881-09-02
How q Chinese Woman was Disposed Of.

On the evening of the 30th of June,
while the G. N. Companys steamer
Peking was lying alongside the hulk at
Hankow, the officers witnessed an at
tempt to drown woman from sampan
close to the landing steps, on the part of
two men, one of whom was seen to push
her into the water Mr.. Morgan, of the
customs service, who saw the occurrence
from the shore, ran down the steps and
rescued the woman, the water there be-
ing only about six feet deep. When he
pulled her out of the water it was found
that her hands were tied behind her and
that large stone was fastened around
her neck. She said to her rescucr :
"Maskee more better ] die" When
she had recovered from the effects of her
bath she went home. AT 4:30 A. NJ, the
next day she was successfully drowned
by her two brothers in-law, the men
whose attempt had been frustrated on
the previous day. They took her out
this time into the middle of the river and
having attached line to her waist, as
well as piniened her arms and fixed a
stone round her neck, they pushed her
into the water as before. After life was
extinct they pulled the body up by the
| line round the waist, took 1t ashore and
buried it with the usual funeral rites.
The crime of the deceased was stated to
he that "shc refused to marry an old
man she being fine, blooming widow,
wanted something better" The details
of the actual murder Were given to Mr..
Morgan by some Chinese who witnessed
both events, and the murderers them
selves told him that it would have been
better if he had not interfpred with their
first attempt. Chj,to NelcS, July5 s.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1881-09-02
A COuntryman AstOnlshed

'Professor' T.. &. Bassett, of this city,
can tell many interesting incidents con
nected with his experience as a psyche
logist and a balloonist, but he never was
taken for "old clovcnhoof" but once.
This was on Talcott Mountain, where he
was making cup Of french coffee by
the road. This was done by pouring
a little brandy into a cup Of cold coffee,
and then setting fire to it. While he
was so employed, farmer came Jogging
by in his wagon, and hauled up to see
what Bassett was up to. The latter IN
yited the old man to take some coffee.
The brandy was still blazing, but the
more brilliant blaze Of the MONDAY sun
co npIetely obscured the flame. The
counirymau alighted, and asked for a
match with which to light his pipe
Il don't use Matches was Bassett',
answer. ''See ~
Aud Bassett held piece of paper over
the cup of coffee, and ii iguited instan-
ly. He turned to hand the light to the
stranger, and saw him clambering into
his wagon.
Sect up !" shouted the man TO hi,
horse. Il never have dincd with the
devil, and don't propose to begin now,
And he drove furiously away.-Ha"t
| j0rd Times.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1881-09-02
BLOOMSBURG PA. FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 3 1881.
THE COLUMBIAN, VOL. XIV, NO, 35
COLUMBIA DEMOCRAT, VOL. XLvT, NO. 70

In connection with the subject upon
which | have been gossippng to-day, in
this column, are the acrobats of past and
present time, about whom much that
would be interesting to the general read
er might be written. They are famil-
lar beings, too, from their performances
in the circus, the ampitheatre, and occa-
sionaly the play house.
Dear, very dear to all ages and TO
both sexes, are these gay and gittering
beings, who hang or swing from the
trapeze, ascend geometrical staircases,
walking on a great ball, ride on half a
dozen steeds at a time, and, swiftly borne
around the saw-dusted pit, deyiate now
and then, to take fying leaps through
hoops covered with tissue paper, and
carefully held up by the clown in the
ring, and, at odd times, by the ring mas
ter, grand creature as he is.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1881-09-02
TN Hearty Eatins.

There are habits in eating as well as
drinking or smoking, There are differ.
ent classes of eaters, such rs the boltyrs,
who swallow their dinners in five min-
utes and then run off to workshop or the
counting house ; the gorgers, who think
that the great end of life is to "eat drink,
and be merry ! the gourmands who
stuff their stomach as they would n sack
with corn the dyspeptic eaters, the nib
blers, who are chiefly ladies who like
to keep themselves petite and delicate,
and those who eat reasonably. The bolt.
ers and gorgers are certain to become
dyspeptics and the nbbers to be affected
with nervous disorders. The stomach
is not so strong as some people imagine,
and when people become i'll from those
careless habits they run to the doctor to
cure them of what they could easily have
cured themselves and saved their money
and their health. After II person ha.
eaten meal he should wait little lille
before going to business We are all
well enough off with three meals a day
with well cooked food, Young women
OF the nibbling class ought not to be
ashamed to eat good hearty meal in
stead of eating little and often.--Dr, II,
q. J0ne'ody, Neao York.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1881-09-02
How Lincoln Ended a Dispute.

During Mr.. Lincoln's time there was q
great row over the postofiice at Dayton,
o. Two liotspurs were in the field. Pc,
tition after petition in favor of one or the
other poured in upon the President, and
delegation after delegation hastencd to
Washington to argue the case. Mr..
Lincoln was long suffering man, but
his patience gave out at last. lie could
not determine that one applicant was in
the slightest degree more competent, OF
more patriotic, or better supported than
the other. Finally, after being bored by
a fresh delegation, he said to his secre-
tary This matter has gotto end some
how. Bring me pair pair of scales "
The scales were brought "Now put in
all the petitions and letters in favor of
one man, and see how much they weigh,
and then weigh the other fellows pile,
1t was found that one bundle was three
quarters of a pound heavier than the
other, "Make out an appointment at
once tor the man who has the heaviest
papers, said Mr.. Lincoln, and it was
done.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1881-09-02
POetical.
THE WAYSlDE WELL.

He stopped ut the wayside well,
Where the water VAS cool and deep;
There were feathery ferns 'twlxt the mossl
stones.
And gray was the old well-sweep.
lie left his carriage alone;
Nor could coachman or footman tell
why the master stopped In the dusty road
To drink at the wayslde well
lie swayed with his gloved hands
The well.sweep creaking and slow,
While from seam and scar 10 the buckets side
The water FLASHED back below.
lie lifted It to the curb,
And bent down 30 the buckets brin;
No furrows Of time or care had marked
The face that looked back at him
He saw but a farmers boy
AS he stopped DER the brim to drink,
And ruddy and tonned was The laughing face,
That met his over the brink.
The ewes were sunny and clear,
And the brow undimmed by care,
While from under the brim uf the old straw ha
Strayed curls OF chestnut hair.
lie turned away with a sigh;
Nor could coachman or footman tell
Why the master stopped 10 his ride that day
TO drlnk at the waysiie well.
- Walter Learned
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1881-09-02
OLIVIA.

William Brooks attempted to shoot
his wife, at Shelby, n. q, The indigna
ton of his neighbors was outspoken, and
they proposed to have him prosecuted /;
but he said that they need not go to that
trouble, for he fully realized his despica-
BILE character, and would punish himself
with death on the following day. Next
morning he shouldered his gun and a
rope and started for the woods, telling
his family that when they heard shot
they might know that he was hanging
himself, and could get his body. They
did not believe him; yet they went ia
search OF him on hearing the promised
signal, aud found him dead.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1881-09-02

TONIC ALT tRAllNE AND CAlhAkIlC'
Simmons Liver Regulator purely veg
etable, is not unpleasant 10 the taste. 1t
is the medicine generally used in the
South to arouse the torpid liyerto healthy
action. 1t cures malaria, biiiousness, dys-
pepsia, headache, constipation and piles.
The action Of the Regulator is free from
nausea or gripping, ii is most effective in
starting the secretions of the liver, eaus-
ing the bile TO act as a cathartic. When
there is an excess of bile in the stomach,
the Regulator is an active purge; after
the removal of the bile, it will regulate
the bowels and impart yigor and health
10 the whole system
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1881-09-02

A Rhode Island Clergyman was given
permission to sing "rhe Sweet Bye and
Bye in an insane asylum. Many patient,
were moved. SO was the Clergyman
The lunatics moved him clear dowr
stairs.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1881-09-02
Summer
Complaints

At this season, various diseases of the
bowels ar, prevalent, and many Tires are
lost through lack of knowledge of a safe
and sure remedy PERRY DAVIS PAIN
KILLER is a sure cure for Diarrhpa, Dys-
entery, Cholera, Cholera Morbus, Summer
Complaint, etc, and is perfectly safe.
Read the following:
BAISBRIpGE. N. Y, March q, 1891.
PERRY DAVIS PAIN KILLkH ntpcr fails 70 aaori
'"'a" 'a@ ior crainp and pain IN the stornaeh'
NIGHQLvILLE, n. Y, Feb. .. 1851.
choora norbus, ard cramps in the stomach. Havo
used 1t for years, and 1t Is sure cure every time
MorsoosA, Iowa, SohuEs March III IL. isf issi
c9ramr, coc and cholera morbus,apd i gave almost
instant re ici L.. l.. CALDWELL
For twenty y1. Sssy aea yaat a fSS as 4 Rslap Isl
H i; g gssd i many WITH H9s no i9r f 5o% sS;
",'"' Oo'' '.'' H'Esy sSco, MI, Jan B. ISL
yeaF Se @ @ and tAs l No She aSlSe
should allow it to be out Of the family, ~
Oneida, ~, Feb + /, fsfEi, l. III.
We beran Isinr 4 o.Gr ih.r'y Year ago ant II
to <; to bed without a bottle in the hogse.
coSwArnono. s G.f'6 GG'2' Sgh9nf 4, ilsf.
IN EiGarly i every iauy III this section * 9%;uo
u s CoNsr-rATF,
CREFELD. RIESIsH PRUSSIA Feb. 3, ISL.
| have known PERRY DAVIS PAIN KILLER almost
from the day it Nas mtroduced, and after years OF
observation and use l regard it, presence in my
household o. Gn iuti, "I,srb'" nCr'SsiU
! :. POTTER, a. s. Consul.
HUETON N.ON.I RENT, Eng.
Il had been several days suffering severely from
diarrhua, accomuaucl with intense pain, when |
tried your PAIN KILLER, and found nllnost n-tant
relief. II j. NDoSE.
q MONTAGUE ST, LONDON, ENG.
During residence of twcntv-thruc years in India,
have given it in many cases of darrhma, dysen.
terry and cholera and never knew i u fail to give
relief. Il. CLARIDGE,
No family can safely be without this
invaluable remedy. Its price brings it
within the reach of all.
For sale by all druggists at 25c., SOC.
and 800 per bottle.
PERRY DAVIS & son, Proprietors,
prOyilcnce r. l.