West Virginia freeman. (Parkersburg, W. Va.) 1881-1886, 1881-05-04
AMONG OUR EXCHANGES.
Their Notions and Ours.

Beer Eater, In the West Ia. Rad
'cot, says "The Mason and Meigs Co.
(O) butchers have formed a monop-
oily advanced the price of beef, and
resolved to cut no bone out = where
fore beef eater" waileth, iusomuch
that his wailings reacheth even I'M
to a sympathetic spot in our-stom-
ach.
The Whitaker court martial is
still investigating the question of
who clipped the colored cadets ears.
Ear, 'ear.-Ritchie Gazette.
Don't be scared for yours, Bro.
Morris; nobody wants boat-bottom
out there so far from water.
Hon. John Z. Kenna received by
express from Washington, a few
days ago, thoroughbred English
fox hound, with pedigree longer
than Highland laird's 1t is sup
posed that it was sent by Commits
sioner lie Due Of the Agricultural
Bereau, who, despairing of any
farming weather this year, has ceas-
ed to send out seeds, &c, and has
gone into the fine stock business
he has on hand a splendid lot of i'm
proved short-horn lambs, which he
proposes to distribute as soon as
green peas come in, if this latter
event ever happens; he has also an
assortment of Milesian bull calves,
specially imported by Senator Lo-
gan and presented to the Depart
ment for distribution in the non
English speaking "deestriks;" also
some kittens from the North or
South Pole, we are not certain
which, but they can be relied upon
as pure hyperboreans or polar cats.
Send in your orders. -Kanaaoha Ga
zette.
Wen take the hound if the tax
be paid, and his dog-ship will give
bond to keep the peace toward all
the good citizens of the State, edi-
tors and common sheep included.
A GEORGIA EDIToR's WIFE
There is a little brown-eyed, enthu-
siastic, high-spirited lady, who, af-
ter she has cooked breakfast, clear
ed the things away, set the house
to right, attended the call of the
bread wagon and MIXED the COW,
dons her hat and cloak, comes into
our office, yanks us out of the edito-
rial easy chair, pounces on the ex-
changes, amputates every item of
interest, stacks them on the copy
hook, grabs up a Faber, travels it
over a quire Of editors manuscript
paper, removes her snowy-white
apron, shoves up her sleeve, grabs a
stick and rule and sets it all into
type, reads the proofs and corrects
every error. That's our wife and
she will get her reward in heaven.
-Cartersvitle (Ga.) Express.
Yes, and she'll be widow there /;
and she'd be widow here if justice
visited the Express office, and was
advised of the impositions heaped
upon the little lady by her lazy
husband
"The County Court of Randolph
county refuses to grant license, and
the Enterprise prints the names Of
the members with border around
them.-Enchamge
Every order refusing to grant Ii
cense, ought to be recorded in i'm
perishable letters of gold, and every
license granted, ought to have a
black border two yards wide.
The school census of Keyser,
found in another column, shows a
majority of girls of %. Weare glad
to see this. This satisfies US that
the dear little things are not likely
torun scarce for few years yet, at
least.-Mountdin Echo.
Now, that's too bad. We've al
ways accepted the historical fact
that a majority of the girls were
only 16. Those Keyser darlings
may not run scarce, but we shouldn't
wonder if they'd run an editor if he
persists in saying a majority of them
-. 90