The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1881-07-14
GRANDMA CHERRITREE'S COURT
SHIP.

hand and spoon in the other, upon the
merry, young girls gathered around her
ice-cream freezer at the Fourth of July
1881 picnic in Cedar Grove, "this ere
picnic, with all them fireworks, an flags,
an drums, an baskits of victuals kinder
sorter puts me in mind of the Inde-
pendence Day, when met my Archip-
pus for the first time. 'Chippy 1
called him arter we was married an
'old Chips his schoolmates an inter
mate friends called him both before an
arter. There warn't no highfalutins airs
about him. He b'lieved like the Quaker,
that no mans any better for havin' a
handle to his name. Well, well he was
fine -looEin' chap when he came a-court-
ing me- Tell you all about it? Good
ness gracious gals, what good would
that do you? Twarn't nothin' very in
terestin' to me at the time. There warnt
no runaway horses, or ter BILE fires, or
ships a-sinkin', or dreadful villains in it
like there allus is in printed love- stories.
(Thank you, Gertie, my dear; I will take
a leetle more ice-cream. It's SO coolin'
to the innards in hot weather.) An if
you insist upon it gals, I'll tell you all
there is to tell, Thoughts I said afore
taint much, but 1 'spose it's as material
for young folks to want to hear bout
courtin' as It's for tadpole to bust inter
frog. You see, Archippus-great grief
wasn't Mahala Korn mad when he fol-
lered me round that day an never took
no notice of her, though she had a
feather in her hat half mile long that
she'd borrowed from Sallie Larks, the
milliner-she an Sallie was old cronies
an pooty much alike, which amt sayin'
much for either on 'em. But twas on
Fourth of July met him at gatherin'
in Gazard Smiths wood. John Henry
Hylad- e'kep' the grocer store-spoke
piece Said he made it out of his own
head, but he didn't no more than l did.
His head looked Just like a cocoanut, an
empty cocoanut / allus thought; not
drop of milk in it, an no sich lookin'
head as that could git off ali them things
bout our galorious Republic, an maxim
the crowned despots trimble on their
thrones, an soarin' like the proud bird
! of freedom to the settin' sun, whose
plumes become weepin' in ev'ry free
mans hand
"Miss John Henry Hylad was so
proud of it that she got John Henry's
| brother-he was a printer an sich linn
most of them printers air, an L allus
kinder thought he was responsible fur
them 'plumes' an 'despots' an things
to print it, but her airs came down con-
siderable when the prize was gin to me
at the State Fair for the best pan of pork
on beans, an her pound cake turned
aut's sad s fun'ral without any mourn
| ers
"Yes, yes, don't be Impatient. I'm
| comm to Archippus in minnit He
warn't long cumin' to me that day, an
the fust thing he said was-shol what's
the good of tellin' that, though? Them
things sound very pooty when they're
sayin', but there's no denyin' they sound
kinder silly afterwards.
"You see, Almira Healthy she cum in
for me to go along with her to the gath
erin. CA leetle more since you're so
pressin'. Sum of the red kind I allus
was powerful hand for icec ecream. J
She was good soul, was Almiry, though
she did do some awful funny things
| Sum folks said she was little queer in
in her head, but I allus found-Aer all
right, 'cept a mite forgitful now an
then. Wunst I remember she made a
batch of pies. There was to be Meth
ody camp-meetin' in Jared Brown's s
grounds an the minister's was to eat
round 'mong the village folks, an she
made them pies-fruit pies they was
as nice as could be--a paste wreath ON
one an bird on another, an cross on
another, an tombstun, natral as life,
ON another, an 80 on, an she popped
'em inter the oven an set down in her
rocker with her knittin' a-singing,
Come ye sinners, poor an needy.
Finely she gave sniff or two an Won
dered why on airth she didn't smell
them pies a-bakin'; an she got up an
opened the oven door, an there they was
as white an fiat as when she put 'em in
- -cause-'cause-I allus have to laugh
when think of it Gust a spoonful OF
two-vanilla this time)- shed never
made no fire in the stove! An when
told Chippy bout it-'twas arter he'd
asked me to be his'n-he said-but sho
what's the good of tellin' that? 1t
sounded side-splittin' funny when he
said it, but / doubt it'd pear awful
shaller now. An another time Al
miry was a settin' under the old apple
that grew by the kitchen door terrible
hot day it was-when q man cum round
from the front yard with q door
over his shoulders. Please, ma'am, sez
he, maxim q bow very perlite an q
screwin' up his face as though he'd 6
pain In his stummick, 4 wish you'd buy
this door-mat if only for charity's sake,
sez he. It's all I've got left out of six,
sez he, which I've carried round this
scorchin' day, an the prophets on all si1
is scarcely enough to buy bread for my
starvin' family sez he.
How much is it?' asked Almiry-
she had real soft heart-thinking she'G
take it for the back door, as it jes
matched the one ON the front porch.
Six shillin's,' sez he, 'an' that's a quar-
ter less than I got for t'other fve' AL
miry counted out the money-she'd go
it for eggs that mornin'- Civ hin
half q dime over an above, an asked
him to stop a minnit an have sum crul
lers an glass of milk. Thank YOU
thousand times, dear lady sez he, bu
l couldn't, KNOWN that my dear ones
was suff' rim. L must haste to them,
says he, an ne hurried away. An AL
miry goin' with tears in her eyes-sh,
was SO affected by his love for his dea
ones-to see if he'd shut the front gat
arter him found out-good gracious!
allus choke when I think of it demon
my dear. It's very refreshin') tina
she'd bought her own mat. The SCAMP
stole it off the front porch an walked
round and sold it to her for the benefi
of his starvin' family.
"Now don't you go to gittin' onpa
tient, gals, cause Tn going to tell yol
bout the courtship right Off You se'
he was handsum feller an no mistake
an all the gals, an widders too, was arte
him, an leetle did I think he'd be arte
me. But that very Fourth of July wa
a settin' off firecrackers for my younges
brother, an Archippy Gums up to me a
bold as lion an sez he: Miss Swee
why is your name But sho! twas aw
full nonsense Don't sound silly when
think of it, but 'twould if / spoke it out
an guess, on the hull, won't narrat
| anY more for YOIlnp men. i reckon