The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1881-11-10
[From the Living Age.1
MY FAITHFUL JOHNNY.

She looked at me with her face set
[ might have noticed, had l chosen
that all the flowers in her cap were
shaking and quivering in the shadow
cast upon the further wall by the
sunshine, but did not care to remark
being angry, this sign Of emotion
''If he is so fond Of Ellen, he will not
mind giving up a chance" she said
"if some one must give in, why should
it be Harwood and me?"
After this [ left Pleasant Place hur-
riedly, with a great deal of indigna-
ton in my mind. Even then I was
not quite sure of my right to be in
dignant; but was so. 7'If some one
must give in, why should it be Har-
wood and me?" | said to myself that
John had known what he would en-
counter, that he had been right in
trusting me. | had made no stand
against the other side. When you
come to haggle about it, and to be un-
certain which should give in, how
painful the complications of life be-
come! To be perfect, remuneration
must be without word; it must be
done as if it were the most natural
thing in the world. The moment it is
discussed and shifted from one to an
other, it becomes vulgar, like most
things in this universe. This was
what I said to myself as [ came out
into the fresh air and sunshine, out Of
the little stufy house. | began to
hate it with its dingy carpets and cur
tains, its horsehair chairs, that shah
by, shabby little parlor-how could
anybody think Of it as home? I can
understand a bright little kitchen,
with white hearth and floor, with the
freight shining in all the pans and
dishes. But this dusty place with its
antimacassars- These thoughts
were in my mind when, turning the
corner, I met Ellen full in the face,
and felt like traitor, as if [ had been
speaking i'll Of her. She looked at me,
too, with some surprise. To see me
there, coming out Of Pleasant Place,
startled her. She did not ask me,
where have you been? but her eyes
did, with bewildered CLEAN.
Eyes; have been to see your moth
err" l said; 'you are quite light, Ellen.
And why? Because [ am so much
interested; and I wanted to see what
mind she was in about your marriage"
"My-marriage; there never was
any question of that" she said quick
ly, with sudden flush!
''You are just as bad as the Others"
said |, moved by. this new contradic-
tion. What! after taking that poor
young mans devotion for SO long, you
will let him go away-go alone, break
off everything"
Ellen had grown pale as suddenly
as she had blushed. lis that necessa-
ry?" she said, alarmed. ''Break off
everything? Inever thought of that.
But, indeed, | think it is a mistake.
If he goes, we shall have to part, but
only-only for a time"
"How can you tell" I cried, being
highly excited, show long he may be
there? He may linger out his life
there, always thinking about you, and
longing for you-unless he gets weary
and disgusted, and asks himself what
is the use, at the last. Such things
have been; and you on your side will
linger here, running out and in to
your lessons with no longer any heart
for them; unable to keep yourself
from thinking that everybody is cru
Ell, that life itself is cruel-all because
you have not the courage, the spir-
it"
She put her hand on mine and
squeezed it suddenly, so that she hurt
me. "Don't!'' she cried; "you dom t
know; there is nothing, not word to
be said. 1t is you who are cruel-you
who are so kind; so much as to speak
of it, when it cannot be! 1t cannot
be-that is the whole matter 1t is
out of the question. Supposing even
that get to think life cruel, and sup
posing he should get weary and dis
gusted. Oh! it was you that said it.
you that are so kind. Supposing all
that, yet it is impossible; it cannot be;
there is nothing more to be said
"You will see him go away calmly.
Notwithstanding all"
Calmly" she said, with a little
laugh, 'calmly-yes, suppose that is
the word. | will see him go calmly
l shall not make any fuss, if that is
what you mean.
"Ellen, | do not understand. I Inev.
er heard you speak like this before
"You never saw me like this be-
FORE" she said with gasp. She wa:
| l. IL oI b.
ment which looked like despair. Blu
when | spoke further, when | woulc
have discussed the matter, she put W
her hand and stopped me- There was
something in her face, in it's fixed ex
preston, which was like the counten
ance with which her mother had re
piled to me. It was a startling
thought to me that Ellen's soft fresl
face, with its pretty bloom, could eve
be like that other face surmounted By
the black cap and crown of shabby
flowers. She turned and walked witt
me along the road to my own door
but nothing further was said. w
went along side by side silent, till w
reached my house, when she put ou
her hand and touched mine suddenly
and said that she was in hurry ant
must run away. l went in more dis
turbed than | can say. She had al
ways been so ready to yield, so cheer
full, so soft, independent indeed, bu
never harsh in her independence
What did this change mean? I fel
as if some one to whom | had turne
in kindness had met me with blow
But by-and-by, when l thought bette
Of it, | began to understand Ellen