The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1881-04-30
From the Springfield Republican. i
THE FLEXIBLE FIEND.

Last summer my wife received q tele-
gram from her mother Visiting in Bos-
tom urging her to meet her in that CITY
on an important family matter. Let nc
one suspect me of intimating that M
| respected mother in-law is the flexible
tiend, from my introducing her name SO
soon after the title of my story; but had
1t not been for that telegram my expert
ence with said fend would have been nil.
Arabella was to start early in the morn
ing, and gave me many orders. "Be
sure and lock all the doors every night,
Theophllus; and, whatever you do, don't
aggravate Bridget, for you know what a
helpless predicament you would be in,
If she should take it into her head to
| lave"
gave ali the required promises, and
next day saw Arabella safely on her way.
For a few days all went smoothly.
Bridget was, to use her own description,
IN !" In the most illiganest" of humors,
and L enjoyed unwonted tranquility.
Then came the beginning of the end.
OF course Arabefla and [ exchanged let
tiers daily. eve had only been married
year and haf) On the afternoon of
the fourth day her letter contained the
following thunderbolt-in a postscript:
. forgot to tell you that [ found Aunt
Carraway here, on visit from the west.
| She will come home with me for a short
| stay, so be sure and have Biddy clean
the house from roof to cellar, as Aunt
Carraway has an eye like a lynx-but
then, you know, Philly dear, she has a
great deal of money"
| understood that "Philly DEAR" at
once. On ordinary occasions Arabella
calls me "Theophilus She knew that
[ would rather face a howitzer than con-
vey her commands to Bridget, but, as
| the thing had to be done, her mode of
! address was an affectiOnate hint to APP
proach the dreaded damsel with the ut
most circumspedtion.
/ began at once. Invent to the kitchen
where Blddy was securing pans.
Well, Bridget, is there anything you
need from the store? | may run down
there tonight, and can bring anything
you want-just as well as not, you
! know"
Sugars out" said that maiden lacon-
ically.
Anything else, Biddy," with Pick
wickian smile and aChadband infection,
"Sure, We might tie after fetchin sup
o tay, too!''
81 viii, Biddy, with great pleasure.
! By the way, that's fine fellow that
comes to see you sometimes. Mccarthy
is his name"
Its my cuzzint, shure," said the
bashful Biddy, rubbing away very hard
| at the bottom of a pan.
g A very nice cousin, indeed, and |
hope you will treat him well, Biddy,
every time he comes. By the way,
have just had another letter from Mrs
! Blodgett. She will be home on Thurs
day, and wished me to mention to you
! that you might do little housekeeping,
as she expects to bring friend with her.
I'll help you, Biddy, pom my word, |
will" | continued hastily, seeing signs
Of gathering wrath on Erin's brow.
Next day we began operations. While
Bridget " scrubbed and secured, and
! grumbled and glowered," l devoted my
energies to clearing out the rubbish in
our bedroom closet, and progressed
| swimmingly until l came to an old hoop
skirt of Arabella's. | had once heard a
| friend say that stOve-clinkers and old
hoop-skirts were the hardest things to
| get rid OF on the face of the earth. Burn
it could not. Break it l could not.
could not hide it in the attic, for Aunt
Carraway would be sure to make an ex-
petition thither within twenty -four hours
of her arrival! If [ should throw it be-
hind the wood-shed Biddy would trip
over it, and fracture her classic nose. A
brilliant idea presented itself! / would
bury tin the vegetable garden, near
the potato patch!
" The turf shall be its winding sheet"
sang [ triumphantly, and bore 1t to the
| spot. 4 few spadesful of earth, few
manly tears (caused by uprooting a very
powerful onion near by), and all was
over.
The next day l sat in my library, read
ing an instructive volume entitled
"Enigmas of Life" The door was
1 thrown open, and a bouncing, bewilder-
/ ing object gyrated along the floor to my
| study-chair, followed by Bridget, with
1 the thunders of Olympus on her brow,
/ and - yes "a blackened eyel With
wrathful gestures she shot forth her
| TRADE:
/ "An' is it mesif that1l be afther
havin' me eyes kilt intirely wild the
/ murtherin' ovid vilhn av hcop-skurrt
/ jumpin Until me face, while 1 was dig
/ gin few peraties for dinner ? like a
devil from purragatory, shure!"
She disappeared, and | laid down my
/ book in despair. "Enigmas of Lifer'
/ [ should think sol l seized the hoop
skirt, and rushed frantically into the
! garden. l would bury it seventy fathoms
/ deep, if / had to dig through to the anti
/ podes! No one should say that Theo-
+ philus Blodgett was the man to be con-
quered by an old hoop-skirt, forty spring
double-elliptic though it might be! just
as | reached the corner of the woodshed,
heard a silvery voice exclaim:
GOOD morning, Mr.. Blodgettr'
Looking around deserted, oh, horror
tho clergyman of st. James, with his
wife and young lady visitor. Miss Juliet
Thornton, coming to CALI For the Rev.
Ciggswell and lady cared not a straw,
but Juliet Thornton had been one of my