The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1881-12-11
AN ACCESSION TO THE FAMILY.

tTehu lnhJ 'noOk lne WnOle mouse
"And SO IT, n girl my dear
Mrs. Spoopendyke smiled family and
Mr.. Spoopendyke picked up his heiress.
"lts the image of you said she, re-
garding with some trepidation Mr..
Spoopcndykc's method Of handling the
infant,
II don't SEQ how you make that out"
said Mr.. Spoopendyke gravely. 81
don't know when my nose looked like
the thumb part of boiled lobster claw.
Do understand you that my eyes
bear any resemblance to the head OF
screw"
II mean the general features" muir
INJURED Mrs. Spoopendyke
The general features seem to be all
mouth" retorted Mr. Spoopendyke,
examining his acquisition. III our
general features are at all alike, my
visage mus. remind you Of an earth
quake. Hi kichee kitchee ! What
makes her fold her legs like thatPh
"She can't help it, reasoned Mrs.
Spoopcndyke They'll straighten out
in time
mo time like the present." quoted
Mr.. Spoopendyke, and he took his
daughters feet and commenced pulling
her limbs IL don't want any handy
legged first in this family while I'm at
the head OF it,"
Naturally the baby began TO cry and
Mr.. Spoopendyke essayed 10 soothe it.
''Hi! kitchee! kichee! Kitch.ee-eeW
he chrruped Great Scott, what a
cavern! ANY idea how much this mouth
weighs Hi! kilchee! kitcheel You'll
have 20 get that mouth rooted in before
cold weather. What's the matter with
her, anyway"
Perhaps you hurt her Let me take
her, please pleaded helpless Mrs,
Spoopendyks,
She's dong well enough. Hi! you!
Hold up! Haven't you anything to
catch her mouth IMP It's spilling all
over he neighborhood Hi! Topsy,
Genevieve, Cleopatra, dry up! Tn
going to have trouble breaking this
young ones temper, can see that
Here! bend the other way once" and
Mr., Spoopendyde tried to straighten up
his offspring without avail.
"Let her come to me, do, please"
moaned Mrs, Spoopendyke, and Mr.
Spoopendyke was forced to hand her
over.
well. that's quite baby" said he
nursing his knee and cycling the infant
What's those bumps over its eyes for'
What preponderance of intelligence do
they representa-
you mustn talk SO" demonstrated
Mrs. spoopendyke. She's the hand.
soonest child you ever saw"
Well she's got to stop biting her
nails before she goes any further with
this procession. Here. take your
hands out of your mouth. can't you?
Why don't YOU put her hands DOWN.
"Why, all babies do that" explained
Mrs. Spoopendyke. You cant stop
that"
I'm going to try" said Mr. Spoop-
endyke, land don't want to be inter-
fered with in bringing this child up,
Here, you, MaudS Bonesetter, put your
hands in your pockets Don't let me see
any more nail chewing or you and FL
get mixed up in an argument She gets
that from your family, Mrs. Spoopen'
dyke"
"Say, dear, don't you want to go and
order some thingsp' asked Mrs. Spoop.
enkyke,
NO rejoned her husband, Il want
to see this youngster. Where's her
chin? Do babies always have their
upper jaw set right on their shoulders ?
Kitchee! kitchee' Her scalp comes
clear to tie bridge Of her nose. Idont
believe she's quite right Where's her
foreheadP Great Moses Her head is
all on the back part! Say, that baby's
got to be pressed. That's no shape"
Get away" exclaimed Mrs. Spoop-
endyke Indignantly. "She's perfect
angel. There's nothing in the world
the matter with her,
"Of course you know" growled Mr..
Spoopendyke, you don't want any
thing more than fog horn and mis-.
spent appropriation to be an orphan
asylum. II | had your faith and the
collie I'd make a living as foundlng's
home! She'll be old enough to spank
in week, won't she9'
mo, she WON'T said Mrs. Spoopen.
dyke. She'll never be old enough for
that"
"rll bet she will" grunted Mr.,
Spoopendyks. III she isn't, She get it
before she natures up TO that period.
That's all Let me take her, Here,
let's have her"
But Mrs, Spoopendyke fatty refused,
Keep your dod gastel baby, then"
roared Mr., Spoopeudyke, III you
know more about babies than | do, then
keep her, The way you coddle her ono
would think she was new paste Tor
the complexion. II YOU had one more
brain and handle, you'd make a
fair rattle box! Fit you up with q
broken sofa and grease spot and
you'd do for secondhand nursery"
And Mr., Spoopendyke started of to
find his friend Specklewottle, who con-
graduated him. and started of with
him to assist in the selection of an over
coat and q pair of ear muffs as pre-
cautionary against the approaching
wintar RvooLI,Di E0uIe