Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1881-03-12
Difficulties of a Witness.
Prom the Brooklyn Eagle.

AZ
said NJ SpcoYe" cy-tc, 'tocovao 7
am going to be witness 10 court"
Good gracious :" calculated Mrs
Spoopendyke, "what have you
been doing?"
what dye s'pose I've been do
ing? I've heard some things ia a
law case, and I've got to swear to
them. You can't have q law case
without witnesses, and I've got to
be one tomorrow so you hustle
Out in the morning and get my
breakfast
"They can't do anything TO you,
can they?" inquired Mrg. Spoo-
pendyke, nervously.
IF amt there in time they
can send me to JAIL" responded
Mr. Spoopendyke, omlnously,
sand you'd better get me ready in
time ii you don't want - lose me-"
and bir. Spoopendyke Topped into
bed and went to sleep.
Mrs Spoopendyke turned the
clock ahead two hours, arranged
her hair, and sat down 10 spccu-
late on the chances of waking up
at the proper moment. At first
ste concluded to stay up all night,
bot she began to get sleepy, and
rejecting that if she fixed her
mind on the -four she wanted to
rise she'd he snre TO wake up. she
went to bed and to sleep, simulta-
neously
At 1870 she reused up with ter
rified start.
wake up, my dear - she ex-
claimed to her husband. you've
got TO 60 a witnessing in case
this morning. Hurry up, or they'll
put you in Jail
"Wah !" rejoined Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke. What did the deed got
mixed there wllh-proof-ah !"
and Mr.. Spoo2endyke was sound
asleep again.
"You must get right up and go
to court, said Mrs. Spoopeudyke
Ermiy. "You know something
about law court and you must
wake up right off,
"W hats the matter?' PROFOUND
ed Mr.. Spoopendyke, sitting up
and staring around him.
What day of the month is this?
Who called Spoopendyke? Iain't
slept a wink" and Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke fell back on his pillow.
You know you must 60 to the
case" continued Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke. You've been appointed a
witness and you must 60 and swesr
about it. Wake up or they will
arrest you"
"What CASE" demanded Mr..
Spoopendyke. who's arrested :?
Caa't you let a man alone just as
he is getting in a doze? What's
the matter with you, anyway 2"
You wanted to get up early
about some court. Come, get up,
now, or they'll send you to Jail"
and Mrs. Spoopendyke got up and
lighted the gas and hogan drop
ping on her skirts.
WHO'S going to court ?" asked
Mr.. SpoopendyYe, sitting up in
bed. "Wnere is the court? Think
any court wants me at o'clock in
the morning? 2"
tits about law case said Mrs.
s'pOopendyke, cheerfully. You
Know you are witness. 70 think
that | should live to be the wife OF
witness!"and Mrs. Spoopendyke,
tirmiy impressed that it was some
thing in the nature of foreign
mission, gazed admiringly upon
her husband.
"Dod CAST the law case!" howl
ed Mr.. Spoopendyke, now tho
roughly mad. Dye think a law
else goes providing around all night
like a policeman Got an idea
that q judge is going to strap the
courthouse on his back and fetch
il up here at daylight to try Law
case?
"But you said you wanted to
get up early" reasoned Mr.. Spoo-
pendyke, land it's pretty early
now
"D'ye s'pose J. wanted to get up
at midnight TO practice % pro-
pounded MIR. Spoopendyke.-
Think law case is like church
sociable, the first man there gets
the best supper? P'raps you were
afraid If l didn't start early l
wouldn't get a seat. The measly
court don't meet till 10 O'Clock,
dOd CAST it! and here you wake
me up at 4! What dye s'pose o
witness is, anyhow ?" shouted Mr..
Spoopendyke, getting madden and
madden. "Think he's dark lam
tern and goes around with his
slide turned and the smoke COM
ing out OF the top? Dye know
what O court is 2"
"Why, yes" said Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke, "a court is where they hang
people. Mrs. Msirhof-"