davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-07-21
Let US Keep Our Cooks From Beieg Over
heated

Umbrellas and green leaves and temperate
habits will do a great deal to prevent men and
boys from being sunstrnek, but how are women
to hc saved from being eookstOye struck! We
know an excellent cook who always has cold
dinners such weather rs this, and she does not
live OH pastry and cookies either, she cooks veg
etables and meats, and has them good, too; IT is
all in habit, she says, whether we like our food
hot or cold, and more encouraging still, her hns-
band says so too, after trying it two or three
summers She prepares her dinner at breakfast
time, and then conscienti0usly lets the fire 20
out until the next morning Why cannot more
of us be 80 sensible, at least why can We not be
reasonable enough to try it, instead Of contlnn-
ing to fry our brains ont while We say: ION, L
know my husband would never be satisfied with
A cold dinner" Husbands are rather tractable,
after all, if one only the right philosophy
Eaasas Fdraer
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-07-21
ALssaon of Rrotharly Love.

On Sunday morning, while a certain deacon
was preparing for church, wandering wayfarer
or, in modern parlance, a tramp-appeared at
his door, pleaded his hunger, and begged for
something TO eat. The deacon looked solemn
and frowningly, but reluctantly got loaf of
bread, and began 10 cut it; but, while doing 50,
took occasion to admonish the beggar concern
ing the error OF his ways. After reminding him
that it was the holy Sabbath day which he was
dseecrating, he asked him if he knew how to
pray. No. was the reply. "Thcn," said the
deacon, an teach yOu," and he commenced to
repeat the Lords prayer.
hut Just rs he uttered the first words ''Our
Father" the bcggar interrupted him with the
question, ''What, is he your father, and mine
too ?"
''Yes,r tho deacon replied.
''Why," exclaimed the heggar, 1--WE are broth
ers, then, amt we I! Can't you cut that slice a
little thicker -
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-07-21
Che fun Of the Ching.
A FAMOUS JAMsoREE.

II was a Sumner evening.
James GaTlielsis work MS done
And he beside TIE White House dnof
Was bssking in the silil,
And nsar MIN sp0;tcd, fail 81 gise,
His siAlwhrt soi, yOuns A"iah u.
H.. saw lis Lruiier. Irwin q,
Roll ~aInrthing smooth and round
Which he Outside the senate H"a-s'
In playing there hal found
He ran 20 ask what he had found
That wns 40 Smooth and soft- and r"rfnd
james GARFIELD took it from the hoy.
gha stnSd expectant by,
And sadly turnss IL oer and 0eT-
Aud ribbed il with sigh,
Why It's Ras Conkling's head. gnoih he
Los; In the famous iantboree
Vow tell n. what twas all about
Cried little Abram e.
Did Conkling make the iGInboree'
WHIST could his reason be =
Why that can not tell. qnoih he
But. twas n famous janlb0rse
They call him, pa. q Statesman great
What did he ever do
Did he make any Of ON laws;
Oh help to push en- through
WHY. no he never did quOth he
But, twas famous iAnboTee
I've read my history book clean through
Said Garfield little son,
And not 8 word, from end 10 end
OF I.Os I've hit upon
Cent every now and then. So,
He made bowling jaTnboroe'
They sav he was a. great man
As Adams. Washington
On Hamilton or Henry CLAY
Now pa what hds he done
Why none Of these great men qnoth me-
Could match him AZ jauIboree'
Ii. ruled the roosi in lordly style
Put on the prondosi aiIs;
Loved Aaftery Hrorc than pies and caA'r1
And paid for it-giih stares'
g. And when dared TO cross him, he
Reared up and made this jambOrce!
Ills name in every body mouth
Telegraph. telephone
Newsiapefs Fast West North, and SOUTH
Filled with his deeds, alone
Stocks up stocks doNn-both land and sra
Stirred by R0s. COnking jafnboffa'
odd New York State shaken mp
Aud all her Legislators,
Instead Of getting to their farms,
And hocia' corn and tAterr
Were kept at work in Albany.
To settle Conkling's iaInb0reei
But while the row was Mt its height,
There came a sndlen crash.
The people woke. This vile machine,
Its muster too. we u smash
They did. And this poor head you see,
Is all that's left Of Roscoe Z.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-07-21

MOSQUITOES AND observation-disclosures
or other blOOdsuckers infcst our sleeping rooms
Mt night, we uncork bottle ofoil Of pennyroyal,
and these insects leave in great haste, nor VIII
they return long the air in the room is load
cal with the fumes of that aromatic herb. II rats
enter the cellar, little powdered potash, thrown
into their holes OF mixed with meal and seat
tered in their runways, never fails to drive them
away. Cayenne pepper will keep the buttery
and storcrOOm free from ants and eOckroaches.
If mouse makes an entrance into any part OF
your dwelling, saturatc rag with cayenne in So
luton and stuff il into hole, which can then lie
repaired with either wood or mortar No rat OF
mouse will eat that rag for the purpose Of open
ing communications with depot of supplies
Charies Thompson. IN Seientife .imericaR.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-07-21
SIGNING THE DEED.

"A stranger has come to buy the old place /;
Hell give me thousand more
Than paid for the same old farm,
Ssins thirty years before;
And now. dear wife, If You think best,
Aud II you'll sign the deed,
Wen pay the mortgage that is due,
And enough for future need.
Husband, It's many years ago
Since ! became yoTf wife,
And we've known many troubles since,
But ne 'er a word Of strife:
And here our little ones were born,
In this old house 40 gray:
And this obi farm - dear To me,
You'd have me sign away.
stranger. there by the old pear trce,
Close there beside the mill,
We laid our little iirst- born boy,
Our sunny hearted VIII;
And though that was in years gone by,
could not with it part;
That little gravel love il ~,
'Twould surely bpak my heart.
We had another, dear son.
lie crossed the deep. blue sra,
And many weary years have passed,
lie comes not hack to me;
They've often told me lac was lost
He'd no more meet mn here;
feel that Sometime, ere die,
Ill meet my Charlie dear.
How sad snd lonely he would be-.
II he should sometime come,
And lind that We had sold the farm
Ills boyho1si's happy home:
Thrp's not thing upon the farm,
\ bush, a plant, OF tree,
Or il th-ru a living creature round,
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-07-21
Rxv1sRD RELIGION.

All. yea. there ussi 10 be q he'll,
A burning. everlasting lake.
Who're dinners were condemned lowell
II WA, thank Gcd, . great nistake-
What could translator have been af
Bun we've revised al that
Nov Hsdes d the place, you know.
A prnitenfial .-over the bay"
whifher the souls Of dead nen goi
But, really, can scarcely say
How dinners get their tit for tat;
fsr we've rcvised all that
The dacfrine Of oonvcrrioa- ton.
Need nat excite your hopes OF fears.
Thsugh pzny hare believed IL true.
And chung to il theae many years
AT last we have strained eaf the gnsf,
And have reyised al that
In ahsrt the CslvAnisfie creeds
Are spitfe.i On revision's lance
No longer can they srrye the needs
OF error and Of Ignorance.
Or brced q theoligic spaf,
Since we've revised an that
The older baoks we must revise.
To make them fairly III the new:
The strange mistakes u cenfurin.s
The false 80 mingled with the true
By men vino thought the earth Was nat-
We must revise all that.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-07-21
A CURE roR NErRAIaIA.-A friend of .

CURE FOR NEURaIGIA.-A friend of ours,
says the Lynchburg Repabliodn, who suffered
horrible torture from neuralgia, hearing of
noted physician in Germany who invariably
cured that disease, crossed the ocean and visited
Germany for treatment. He was permanently
cured after short sojourn, and the doctor free
~ gave him the simple remedy used, which was
nothing but poultice and tea made Of our conf
mon field thistle The leaves maeerated and
used on the parts affected, poultice, while
small quantity Of the leaves are boiled down in
proportion of a quart to pint. and n small wine
glass of the decoction drank before each meal.
Our friend says he has recommended it far and
near and has never known it to fail of giving
relief and in almost every case effected cure.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-07-21
BEER.

Here
With my beer
whilr golden moments fit
Alas!
They pass
Unhccl,i by
And, Is they fly,
I,
B.ing dry,
Sit, idly slipping hero
Ny bsrr.
q, timer far
Than fam. OF riches, are
The graceful sunokcwr'iilIs 81 this fires cigar
Why
Siiauld
Weep. wall at si:h
wlat II luck has passss~l ne by !
What II my hopvs arc dead
Ny pleasures He'd
Have not still
Ny I'LL
OF right ru.sl chcer-
Cigars and b.-rri
Go whining youth,
forsooth!
Go weep and wall,
Sigh and grow pale.
Weave m'lincholy rhymes
On old times.
who.c joys Ike sha.lowy ghosts appear
But leave 10 me my beer
Gold is dro-s-
Love is loss
10, il gulp my sorrows down,
Or see them drown,
In foamy draughts 81 old unknown,
Then do wear the crown,
Without the crOss
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-07-21

IT is an old story about the countryman who
invited two girls into an ice-cream saloon and
called for small glass and three spoons though
of course everybody takes il for a newspaper
yarn but it can he discounted by an actual oc-
currence at A. ID. Russelrs, yesterday. A young
gentleman came into the store with three young
ladies, and inquired the price of soda-watcr.
"By goshr he exclaimed, give cents glass
Well, give us one glass; guess it will go
round" And one glass of the refreshing bever-
age was actually divided among the crowd
Ns7rbH-unOf.f Herald
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-07-21

Ii 1sOs, as a correspondent Of the New York
Nation writes, Senator Hillhouse, of Connecti-
cut, gravely proposed to amend the National
Constitution by eiecting Representatives for one
year Senators for three, and the President by lot
from the Senate to serve one year. His propo-
sition was not acted on. though he claimed for
it: /. Ii will make the Senate more respectable
. II is prompt and certain. 3. Ii will avoid the
evil of disputed election, now (and ever since)
unprovided for in the Constitution. 4. 1t viii
exclude intrigue and cabal s. 1t gives talent
and modest merit an equal chance. 6. 1t Is
economical Z. 1t gives to the people Presi-
dent of the United States, and not the chief of q
party g. 1t removes temptation to use power
otherwise than for public good.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-07-21

UNCLE MoSE loaned Jim Webster half dol
lar, for church purposes, or rather TO attend a
picnic given by the ladies of the Blue Light
Colored Tabernacle. few days afterwards,
the old man applied TO him to hand back this
temporary loan. Dress my soul, Uncle Moss.
dat ar was no Temporary loan" "What was it,
den ?" asked the old man." ''Hit was perma-
nent investment. Don't you latter yerself, ole
man, dat you is de only man in Austin is ow-
in money to. Hit am a permanent investment,
tells YER"
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-07-21

JOHNSON was the conductor on a Western
road, very pompous official so much above
his business as to appear to be passenger when
ever he could. Leaving the door open one cold
day, as he entered the car, Mr.. Bangs cried out
to him:
al say, shut that door,
The elegant johnson was greatly offended at
being spoken to so rudely, and stepping up to
him, said, Il am the conductor of the train.r
That's the very reason" roared Bangs, "why
told you to shut the door,
johnson shut the door
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-07-21

OUT on farm, not a thousand miles from
Austin, there are several colored families, who
work part of the farm on shares. Their cabins
are all close together The other day, all of
them were out in the field, chopping out com,
that he had not locked his cabin. He started
back to do so, when Uncle Daniel called out :
''What dc debble does yer want to go up to yer
house furi Who am gwine TO steal anything ?
Amt we all out here togedder in de field ?"
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-07-21

A TRAIN dispatcher in Baltimore, the other
day, Just as he had given the signal, discovered
a woman rushing frantically down the street,
dragging little girl by the arm. He waved his
hand to arrest the train, and assisted the woman
to get on the car, and as he was about to start
the train again, noticed the woman and her lit
tie charge getting of. Hnrrying to the spot, he
asked what was the matter, and the woman re-
piled, quite comrosedly, that her little girl
i'wanted to kiss her papa before he left"
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-07-21

A rAIE-LooKIsG man went to a doctor for adj
vice The doctor examined all the mans symp-
toms, and then asked him if he slept sound Of
nights ''No, never sleep wink of nights. /
never shut an eye before daylight "Ah," said
the doctor, that comes from nervousness,
caused from using too much tobacco" 'fNo, it's
not that. / don't sleeep at nights, because / am
q night Waterman, and don't get ont of bed un-
fill late in the afternoon
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-07-21

To PRESERVE PEACHEs.-Clean the peaches.
by pouring hot water upon them, and afterwards
wiping them with a coarse cloth; put them into
glass or earthen jars, cork them up, and fasten
the corks with wire or strong twine; then place
the jars in a kettle Of hot water, covering them
to the cork, and boil the water until the stmos-
pheric air is expelled from the jars, after which
seal them up tight with wax. Peaches prepared
in this way retain their original flavor, and are
equally as delicious, when cooked in the ordi-
nary manner, six months or = year after being
nut up, as il Just taken from the trees
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-07-21

ssOi your nose is as cold ice" Boston
father thought he heard his daughter exclaim,
the other evening, as he was reading, in the
next ROOM He walked in for an explanation,
bnt the young fellow was at one end of the sofa
and the girl at the other, while both looked so
innocent and unconscious that the old gentle
man concluded that his ears had deceived him,
and so retired from the scene without word.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-07-21
GRErN CONS GEIppIE CAKrs.-One rint

GREEN Corn CREDIBLE CAKEs-One pint of
grated sweet corn, one teaspoonful of salt, one
beaten egg, one large spoonful of sweet milk,
two large spoonfuls Of -four, and a little black
pepper. Add large spoonful of melted butter,
and mix well with = spoon. Drop on a hot,
buttered griddle, and fry until of rich brown
color on both sides. Shape the cakes 20 as to
resemble oysters, which they are like in taste.
Nice with meats for dinner, if served very hot.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-07-21

CANNED CoRN.-To ten quarts Of corn take II
ounce of tartaric acid; boil and stow well, then
can. When opened in winter, add one teaspoon
full Of soda to one quart of corn, also one table
spoonful Of white sugar, then add butter, salt
and cream. Soldered cans are the best although
have kept it in sealed ones very nice use
the sugar corn, but suppose the other wonld do
Just as well. II is splendid. Try it.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-07-21

A Coon MIXTURE PoR PAsTURE.-A good mix
ture for pasture is as fellows Timothy, six
ponds: orchard grass, four pounds; Kentucky
blue grass, four pounds; red top, three pounds;
rcd clover, four pounds; white clover, three
pounds; and sweet scented vernal grass, two
nounds-PrdtTie Farmer.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-07-21

GAMER woRMs.-The canker worm, which in
lures the foliage of the orchard and which is also
known rs the measuring worm and black span
worm, can be promptly destroyed by the use Of
Paris green, London purple or arsenic, in the
proportion of one pound of the first TO barrel of
water, or half pound of either Of the Others to
the same quantity of water
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-07-21

THERE is an old gateman in the railway sta
ton in Medina, Pa, who, instead Of the usual
ssShow yer tickets" accosts the traveller with,
sswhar to, stranger n Persons going TO Boston
used to be startled at Springfield by brake
mans cry: Springfield Swap cars for the
Connecticut River road
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-07-21

How TO DEAL WITH INsECTs.-Chambers' jour
-ar tells of a simple preventive of the ravages of
insects on trees, which was first published at
Lyons, by the Imperial Society of practical hor-
tieulture. The remedy is TO shower the trees or
plants with mixture of one part vinegar with
nine parts water. This plan was very success
full at Lyons.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-07-21

il was proposed by one of the members, after
they had dined, that each should entertain the
company with some remarks. Among the rest,
one drew upon his fancy, and related dream.
In his dream, he went 10 heaven, and he de-
scribed the golden streets the river of life etc.
As he concluded, one OF the divines, who was
somewhat noted for his penurious and money
saving habits, stepped up to the narrator and
inquired, jocOscly:
"Well, did You sec anything of me, in your
dream"
"Ies, / did"
'Indeedl What was doingr
'You were on your knees"
"Praying, was -
'No-scraping up COldr
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-07-21

DIAMOND Cut DIAMoSD.-The son of wealthy
jew banker, in London, was attached to young
Christian, with whom his father opposed his
union. When the found that the father
could not he induced 10 give his consent, he
concluded TO marry without it. The father then
threatened to withhold every shilling from him,
whereupon the son replied that, if the father did
not intend 10 give him anything, he would be-
come a Christian, and according to law, he
would be entitled TO half of his fathers fortune.
The father, much alarmed, flew TO a lawyer, to
inquire whether such law really in exist
ence. The lawyers answer was in the affirIna-
tive; but adding that, if he would hand him
over ten guineas, he would give him plan by
which he could Illustrate his sons plans. The
ten guineas were quickly produced. ''Now, "
said the lawyer, quietly pocketing the money,
'all that remains for you to do, is TO become a
Christian, also, and the law will not compel you
to leave him a cent of your money" The jew
hurriedly seized his hat, and left the lawyer,
without any further remark.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-07-21

Brother, know the world deceivefhi
Trust On Him who sAfeiy givethf
Fix not a the world thy trust
She fsezls us-buf shs turns n dust;
And the bars earth q kingiy throne
A6kc nay sczye 10 de upoa-
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-07-21

THE London Field says that washing a horse
when in q sweating state is grateful and benef'
cial to the animal. When washed, wipe dry and
blanket him.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-07-21

IA copy of these beautiful and touching lines Hound
On the person Of young lady who committed saicdc
yoars ago
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1881-08-14

Your letter just received. 1t found me, dear,
Up to my eyes in taking stock, and bent
Half-double over ledgers, lists and bills,
Tired, cross, impatlent-wholly discomfort.
But, somehow, when the mail brought in your
note,
A sudden brightness filled the dim Old place.
| seemed to see your pretty, wlstlut eyes,
And felt your fingers pat my face.
Such kind, sweet, petting words Your poor
old boy
Read, loved and blessed you. All, you were
so good
To write 1t once! Our letters must nave
crossed.
Twas not angry, dear. understood
Just how you felt at parting If dared
would have kissed you before every one
Some day will, when it becomes my right;
Then YOU will neither scold, nor pout, nor
run.
All, some day when my girl is wholly mlne!-
But, until then, of course, | must observe
The finest shades of etiquette, for she,
That girl of mine, is BOUND TO never swerve
From strict propriety. Pm glad you're
pleased,
The truth is, was anxious, dearest sweet,
Afraid you'd weary of the rush and noise,
And sigh for something more of a retreat,
The Wards are going up; and Arthur Black,
And Others of that set. OF course you must
Be civil; but my precious, don't forget
Your poor Jack here alone in dust and rust,
And toll and ink and, oh, my sweetest May,
/ am not jealous; l will never make
Rules for YOU, dear; but Black, hate him so;
He's such a puppy Snub him for my sake.
And write me every day, and wear my ring
And keep my picture with you, pet; and
then
(Of course am not JEALOUSY I can bear
To let you walk aud talk with other men.
But oh, my little love, be good and wise
For Gods sake, dear, Don't firt with Ar
thur Black
Don't tirt with any one trust you, May;
Goodnight, goodby. Be true 10 your poor
Jack.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1881-08-14
No Pocket Handkerchiefs.

Soon after the Germans took possession
of the provinces coded by France, they
sent an Alsatian girl TO prison for CRITICS
ing the photograph of the Grand Duke
of Baden in disrespectful terms, and fined
Lorraine woman five thalers for mark
ing her disapproval of a soldiers print
tive habits with the exclamation, "What!
with all our five milliards, they haye not
got pocket handkerchief yet!'' OF
course; French journalists did not omit
to enlarge upon the tyranny of the Ger
mans, but they were discreetly silent
when Partisan with a grievance was
punished for telling friend that some
body was as ''cowardly as MacMahon. %
A few months later he might have abused
the Marshal to his hearts content with
impunity."
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1881-08-14
Mrs. Mackey.

l see by the foreign papers, says New
York gossiper, that there is some talk in
Paris of the marriage of Miss Mackey, the
daughter of the great California million
aire, to nobleman who was quite dis
tinguished during the Theirs and Mac
Mahon administrations. Mrs. Mackey,
it is said, will soon leave Paris, and come
to New York to live, her husband having
bought splendid residence on Fifth
avenue for half million. She'll be
missed in Paris, no doubt, for she has
been Lady Bountiful to good many
people, hear, in more ways than one.
| remember an old friend of mine, a
40 -er, once telling me about the Mackeys,
and how they got their start in life, which
led to such big results. NIackey used to
keep small saloon, and dealt with the
commonest kind of custom, and my friend
would frequently see Mackey's wife
about the place. She was very plainly
dressed in those days; a common ging-
ham was good enough; and as for dia-
monds! why, you might as well have
talked about buying the moon in those
DAYS, and it was sometimes hard lines to
make both ends meet. But the mining
excitement came, and Mackey was lucky
enough to make little venture with
Flood, O'Brien, and some others, who
afterward "struck.it rich" He is now
worth, they say, $50, 100000 to $4,000
900, and his wife, at recent enter
tainment given abroad, literally blazed
with diamonds. l suppose when she
comes here she will lead the fashion in
New York society Sometimes, in the
pauses of all this extravagent frivolity,
however, size no doubt finds moment
or two to think of the times, when, in
her simple bingham, she used to help her
husband serve the customers at the little
bar in the far west.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1881-08-14

The Viscount de Ratibal meets one of
his old comrades, whom he has not seen
for year, during which time the latter
has married beneath his station
II should be glad to see you more fire.
quently, = says the friend, with an air of
timidity, "but rarely go out, and do
not know whether you wish to visit my
wife"
Rotibal, who is not distinguished for
tact, grasps his hand cordially: ''Bah!
my dear fellow, a gentleman can go any
where, you know, so long as the men are
all rlghtl'