Press and daily Dakotaian. (Yankton, Dakota Territory [S.D.]) 1880-1889, 1881-03-25
hamf PAYMASTERS.
A Liblc Upon II Glass of Gentlemen who are
no oSuch:Fellows.
Peck's Milwaukee Sun

a Liblc Upon Glass of Gentlemen who are
oSuch:Fcllows.
Peck's Milwaukee Sun.
Almost every week the papers an
nounce that some man has been appoint
ed paymaster i'll the army, and people
are beginning to wonder what they all
do. No paymaster ever resigns, and they
nevel get near enough to active service
to be killed. So the inference is that the
government has great many regiments
composed entirely of paymasters, who
are Kept on hand for an emergency. We
have not the statistics at hand, but it is
believed there is a paymaster on the rolls
to every two soldiers in the service of the
government. This might seem to be too
much Of u frequency OF paymasters, but
government troops donot complain that
paymasters are too frequent. People
who complain about the expense OF keep
ing SO many paymasters are not posted
as to tie arduous duties these paymast-
crs have to perform. In The first place a
paymaster has to be an expert at draw
poker. A man may think that because
he has been cashier in bank, and
knows how to handle money, and make
his accounts match, that he would make
a good average paymaster. We have
known bank cashiers who have been
Sunday school superintendent to
apply Tor paymasters' positions, but they
never got them, though they might be
the boss croquet players OF their native
towns. War IS stern reality, and moth
ing but the snnguinury game of draw
poker can give man the entrce into the
society of the army. 1t is one OF the d,1-
ties of . paymaster to win back the
money that he pays out to officers and
men, as far as lays in his power. OF
course paymastels fail i'll this at times,
as there are some splendid poker players
among the officers, and they like no bet
ter prospect of active service than to sit
down to quiet game OF "draw" with n
paymaster. In cases where paymasters
are beaten, we often hear of their being
attacked by road agents and their money
chest robbed. 1t is singular that when
a pavmaster beats all the boys at poker
we never hear that he has been robbed.
There is no knowing whether the govern
ment divides the profits won at draw
poker with paymasters or not, though
the fact that defaulting paymasters are
often pardoned by the president would
lead to the belief that there was nn un-
derstmding between them and the gov
erument. Our beloved country is con-
stantly looking for successful poker
PLAYERS, all over the land, to commission
as paymastcrs. There was q man at Osh-
kosh that came near receiving COM
mission as paymaster this spring. He
had, by years OF successful practice with
the cards become almost invulnerable,
but last December he got into a game
with party from Fond du Lac, and
drew to "bob tail flush" and failed to
| fill. Itwas we'll known by all who wit
messed the game that he had failed to
fill, by the disguised expression on his
face, but he got ratified and bet heavy,
aud lost. Government agents noted the
event. and the particulars were sent to
Washington, and be failed to receive his
| commission, man in Chicago getting
tho coveted place, friend Of John A
Logan. Whether this is the same man
that once held three jacks against anoth'
/, or mans four ten spots, and pulled out Q
photograph Of John A. Logan and used
it for the other jack, and won Thousand
dollars, is not known, but the Chicago
paymaster,is evidently poker player o
no mean order, or he would never have
got the place.