Democratic messenger., 1881-03-26

THE man who picked up a tsW
pocket-book" the other day
gusted to find it full of tracts
esty.
ATA recent dinner an eminent
was urged to contribute sonnet
the occasion, il "'twas but lit
-four"
THERE are two things want
make New York Worlds Fair as
One is change of site, and the
sight of change"
MAN is the only animal pr
handkerchief facilities. He.
to keep his handkerchief and al
can be laid hold of.
WHEN we hear man boa
length Of his ancestry we are re--
ed of the quaint saying of the far
"The older the seed, the worse
crop"
THE Boston Commercial Bul1eA
notes the fact that Cain was the frs
man who went out staying. Had he
been Abel his brother would then have
gone.
QUEER country this. The best
of society are running around witt
heads all banged up, and people
ing them as though notsipg ha
pened.
THIS has been good
turers and amateur actor
at seventy-tive cents do
the wealthy could afford t,
rotten ones.
''Don't you think, saiotaess
mildly rebuking his wife, ''tllat :
are possessed by the devil?"
was the quick reply; ''as soon as tlssss.
are married"
SLIDING down Hill is called coastinc.
probably because there are so many
buoys engaged in it. And girls, too, for
that matter. And, consequently, a great
many smacks.
ENGLISH PRFJUDICE.-Little girl, to
new nurse "And in France, you know,
Jane, they speak French. Instead of say
ing Yes, for instance, they say cIFee. =
''Lor, Miss How paltry."
THE Scientific american says that
quails are poisonous when the ground is
covered with snow. They are also very
poisonous to ten-dollar bill when eaten
with toast and healthy girl.
BADINAGE- Butcher: ssWhy didn't
yer put on clean collar afore yer left
'ome this mornin'?" Sweep Cause
yer mother haven't sent back my dress
shirts from the wash this week.
AT "A recent theatrical performances a
gentleman who speaks rich brogue
played the part of an Indian, and peo-
pie who have visited Saratoga and
Niagara at first thought it real Indian,
so natural did it seem.
ABOUT twelve months after marriage
is the most trying period in the whole
! cycle of conlugal experience. At that
time man is comparatively tired of the
molasses of matrimony, and hasn't be-
come accustomed to the vinegar.
A LADY living near Moultonville, N.
H, has obtained one hundred and twen-
| ty-five eggs from one turkey since last
fall. Paste this up In your hennery,
says an exchange. It may bring your
fowls to realizing sense of their nm
worthiness.
THERE was big fair, at which there
was considerable rivalry about the big
gest hog. One lady asked another, after
the awards had been made ''Did your
husband or mine get the prize for the
biggest hog?" Neither of them got it.
A strange hog from the country got
/ it."
Mr.. BROWN boasts of the advantages
of gymnastic exercise. "Nothing bet
ter for the health; it doubles ones
strength; it prolongs ones life r
"But," somebody remarks, tour
fathers did not practice gymnastics, and
yet True enough, but every~eg4s
of them died.
A CLERGYMAN paying his usual paro-
chial visit to a female member Of the
congregation, got into a discussion on
the subject of domestic discords, and
expressed the hope that there had been
no rupture in her family. 'I don't
know about that" she said, s'my hus-
band wears truss"
A MAN in France will take any excuse
for asking New Years fee of you.
"Sir," says the servant, "the ragpick-
er's outside, he wants his fee." I" But
what for ?" 'Well, sir, he says that
whenever he tinds silver goblet or tea
caddy in the garbage he's In the habit
Of returning 1t to its owner"
A LITTLE fve-year.old boy astonished
his mother one day by urging her to
see If his chin whiskers had not COM
menced to sprout. Another time, stand
ing before her and looking up into he
face, he inquired: ma, what's
reason amt q man now? I've
jack-knife and pocket-book."
Twas Harry who the silence broke.
Miss Kate, why are yOu like treeg
| q Because, hecause-I'm board, she
n 20. no because you're wood, sale
q why are you like tree p said she,
4 "I'haye a-heart? p be asked, So k
Her answ -"ung