The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1881-05-17
An UnluCky Patch.

Johnny TADSBURYb has had many
~ accidents to befall him during his
boyish career, but perhaps the most
serious which ever occurred to ruf1le his
placid life happened to him last spring
when he was on visit to his grand
mother in the country. During his
stay with his aged relative Johnny was
never known to go down stairs on his
feet, but invariably made the descent by
sliding on the banisters. If he would
have been good boy, and one who
would run whole block to give his
cake money to a blind beggar, the
chances are that he would have fallen
from the banisters and got killed, but,
as he was not that sort of boy, his
sliding only resulted in his pants being
worn out in place where patching was
absolutely necessary.
Lawsy me! !" said his grandmother,
one Saturday night, as she turned him
round and scrutinized the mutiated con-
dition of his trousers. ''Ain't you
ashamed, child, to go and ruin your best
pair of pants, when 1 wanted to take
you to church in the morning to hear
Parson Sprague's sermon. The Simms'
boys and the Jones' will be there all
dressed mp in their Sunday clothes. And
just think, I've got to patch your pants
before you can move out of this house."
Il don't want to go to church," sniff
fled Johnny; "me and Jim Crawford
wants to go coon-hunting back of his
pas field, and"
I" You go with that trifling Crawford's
boy" interrupted the old lady; "that
nasty little rascal who put powder in
the church stove last winter and scared
Parson Peterson so that he jumped over
the pulpit and came nigh killing old
Sister Wilson-poor old soul-and she a
lone widow with six children 2 Lor'
sakes the idea of you going coon-hunt-
ing on Sunday with that vile Jim Craw-
ford. No, my child, you shall not he
contaminated by that depraved boy.
I'll patch your pants this very night
and have you ready for church to-mor-
row."
Johnny's grandmother, unfortunate
ly, happened to be very near-sighted,
and after he had gone to bed she secured
his pants. Then going to the bureau
drawer and taking out what she suppos-
ed was piece of strong, dark cloth, she
sewed it into the seat of his trousers.
The next morning Johnny slipped into
his newly mended garment, and few
hours later was in church, sitting on
hard bench beside his grandmother.
The day was warm and sultry, and as
the sermon was going on Johnny began
to feel burning sensation between him
and the bench. He squirmed a little
and sat more on one side, but soon he
was compelled to yank himself over on
the other, while every moment the
bench grew hotter, until il seemed to
him that he was seated on a blast fur
mace.
Johnny" whispered his grandmoth-
er, 'you must keep still. Don't fidget
about so, my child. Recollect that you
are int church." But Johnny only
wiggled and twisted the more, and
bobbed about on the bench as if he
had the st. Vitus dance, while the tears
trickled down his nose in streams.
What in the world is the matter
with you, Johnny" inquired the old
lady in surprise.
=" Gran ma, boo hoo something is
'er hurting of me-"
Something hurts you ?"
Yes'm, boo hoo''
Where, my childyn
"lt's-it's, boo! hoo hoo in-in my
pants, an it's Ter stinging an 'er burn
ing of me wusser'n Ter yeller jacket. It's
right here" and Johnny placed his
hand on the injured part.