The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1881-04-28

Il serves Of more than |. ut or Storm 10 tell
The roar Of that dash On rek-bound coasts,
Tue s.,n q s' ss wsss the .a Minds ain
On biood-stained Aids. II has voice we'll
Foo them thar fas-oG On their sick BEDS lie.
Fog Tie. . that weep, fof them that mourn sne
For them that laugh, and dance and clasp tho hand
T. Joys quick step, well Is grie 9 low tread.
xsd sh.a The them. bs .s .s, Or say Or grand.
With each, with all these may be made 70 chime,
10 Thought, speech, " song, o. prose, or rhyme
A Ludicrous Elopement.
It's hard for . country jake to con-
vey to his Susan Jane the exact situation
when first the arrow is lodged in his
heart. The attitudes and awkward CON-
binations Of personal presentation are
painful to IN outsider, to say nothing OF
what he suffers. See him cross his legs,
first one ON top and then the other, and
then see him shoot them out in front,
and run his hands in his pockets; then
he draws in his feet, doubles them under
the chair, pulls his hands out Of his
pockets and drops them down by his side,
stretches, yawns, bushes, and almost
dies trying to say it. Poor fellow, It is
martyrdom while it lasts, and when he
does s'get his mouth off" it's like put
ting . beggar on horse back; he just
canters of 10 paradise with happy-go-
lucky indifference that is enviable, bar
ring an obstruction on the track, and
then over on his head lie tumbles, when
cruel parents intervene and refuse TO
ratify.
A lndicrous case Of this sort Of agony
occurred near the place Of my nativity
about twenty-five years ago, in which 1
had my sympathies 30 reused that was
moved to lend the hero some assistance
His name was Joe, and his girls 8, Mar
tina Jane TO whom he had surrendered
his entire heart, stock. lock and barrel
without reservation Of any kind, which
she gushingly reciprocated by adding
her entire stock in trade in the partner
ship proposed. But the old folks de-
INJURED refused to ratify-threatened
of Observation-Disclosures Joe, and
belied Martha Jane, besides several other
Joe and Martha Jane had the biggest
spider put in their dumping ever known
since Adams and Ewes apple scrape.
Their hearts all but "busted but they
didn't.
The parties were neighboB-lived in
sight Of each other-Joe on the hill and
Martha Jane in the bottom. When
Martha Jane came forth to nonrish
her young fowls with . preparation Of
ground corn and water, she would cast
her loving eyes upward and rest them on
~.,lx<. ~-,s,,a1A al, l<rlr 1nvuv,
afectionately on his Martha Jane, and
they would sigh and swallow great hunks
Of grief rs big IS apple dumplings.
Joe was 30 badly of that I was sorry
for him, and when he called upon me to
assist him, proceeded at once to the
prospective mOther-in-law more or less)
with my eloquence, from whom I
proceeded from whence"-not running,
but my time was good. reported pro-
gress, and begged to be excused. Joe
got worse and worse; threatened to
commit-well, to steal something, and
did make divers efforts to steal his girl,
but the old folks slept on their arms.
Joe was getting terribly bad of; he said
lie must have her; that must steal her
for him. tried to prevail on him to
hide his time; but, no, have her he must,
and must do the job for him; he knew
could do it if / would, and he wanted it
done right of.
When found Joe couldn't wait, Icon
sented to try my hand. I was about
Martha's age, and the thought occurred
to me that 1 would dress in woman )
clothes and let Joe steal me, and see il
it would ''sorter" cool his ardor. con-
fided my plan to some Of the boys, and
they approved it and promised their as
sistance. We concluded that we would
let the old man, Martha James father,
into the secret, and arrange for him to
pursue us with his hounds, Of which he
had about dozen, when we made the
attempt. The old man entered into the
affair eagerly, for he despised Joe.
After we had fixed all the preliminaries
Of time, place and manner Of proceeding.
VIC adjourned to meet the next Sunday
night and have tho chase. We met &C.
cording to adjournmentat the time agreed,
and = woman hitchcd me up in some Of
her gear, with q parcel Of things tied
round my waist don't know what
they al were, but know the outside
was calico, and it was in two pieces; one
was the tail, which was tied on first, and
the other was sort Of jacket with sleeves
to il, Of some dark sort Of stuff. These,
with o white SUM- bonnet, and blue veil.
and some cotton stuffed in iudiciously to
give me gushing makeup, having been
provided as indispensable to my toilette,
Twas ready and willing to be Joe's-fol
. time.
When We arrived near Martha Jane'l
house, the old man was waiting for us
We arranged that after we had got about
aquarter Of mile OF, one Of our party
(who remained behind for the purpose
should notify Joe that We had Marthi
Jane, and when Joe came tearing by thu
house, the old man was to give him 1
salute from his old double barrelled shot.
gun. Very soon here came Joe full till
down the hill towards the creek. Bang
went the venerable shotgun, and ava,
went Joe, and soon came the old man OF
his sway-back horse. with his hounds
and shotgun, and accompanied BY his
con.
Mitchellville WAS the objective poin
of the expedition, and it was about fiv,
miles Of. The boys got Joe's arms from
him to protect his girl, and prevailed on
him to rush ahead, pay the toll-gate fees
proceed on to Mitchellville and have tn
license ready, 20 as to have no delay
Accordingly, Joe went of at lope, pait
the toll for MS, and gave strict orders no
TO- let Martha Jones' father through; bu
when the old man came to the gate b.
just jumped his old sway-back over il
and on he came, his hounds in full CRY
The way he got up and got" along tina
pike was scene not to be forgotten
The fuss he made aroused everybody 6,
route.
Our crowd consisted Of five, beside
Joe, and we arrived ct Mitchellyille abou
Top. m. Joe was there, and q soon q
had dismounted, he was ct my side an,
led me up to the door and ratified il o
that the startled Justice opened il Z
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