Daily Republican., 1881-04-28
Laugh and be Merry.
TERRIBLY JEALOUS.

inquired is there u letter here in
scented envelop for my wife - the greer
fire from his eyes making the office lool
like leafy forest. 'Hes, sir, answered
the postmaster as he handed it out
The old man, sure he had the dea,
wood on her, nervously tore it open
when, 10 and behold it was her milli
ner'S bill for 800. Then may he h
didn't swear.
A certain doctor visits the hospital
and was handed by the sister in charg
the other day the usual certificate con
cerning patient "BadouiIlard, wan
dering musician, lung complaint Th
doctor goes to his bedside.
k"My friend, do you spit blood?'
"Nes, doctor, /"
"Hush. Do you not perSpire freely
ut night"
eyes, sir
"Bc quiet, friend. You must be !
musician, eh?'
eyes, l."
"rhat's It, You play upon u bras
instrument and have simply used you
lungs too much. See, gentlemen, how
great a thing a good diagnosis is Wha
instrument, friend, did you play"
II played the cymbalS, sir. "
At the mechanical school
"Now, John, did you ever see saw
eyes, sir, I've saw II saw
"What saw was it you saw, john"
sit was IA Sce-saw, sir,
"a sea saucer. Why John what dc
you mean"
81 mean SEQ saw, sir,
"And when did you see the sea-
"Oh, sir, didn't see the SEA, saw
the saw, sir"
"But if you only saw the saw, how
saw You the saucer"
"Why, sir, | never saw the saucer
saw the ee-Saw, slr-See?'
"Wcll, my boy, if that's the way yOl
saws, the saws you see, the better. lol
may take your seat. ."-( (Louisvill,
Couricr-Jo Jourual.
During the Galveston Nardi Gra>
procession jim Webster drove one OF
the wagons, and looked very imposing
surrounded by red and blue fire. After
the procession was over Jim met ParSOn
BledSo, of the Blue Light Colored Tab,
ernaclr, and said to him | recon,
ParSon, dat IN red fire and de yclIin' oil
de crowd guh a pretty good idea oh dt
hell You breaches so much about. Hit
did, james, quietly responded the par,
son, 'partickcrlarly when seed you in
de middle of de fire. .'-GialyeSton News
Several gentlemen were standing on
the corner OF Galveston avenue, when
one Of the most fashionable ladies OF
Galveston passed on the sidewalk. "Ah,
exclaimed one OF the gentlemen, "what
complexion! there is nothing to beat
it in GalvrSton; am proud of that
woman, am. care you her husband"
asked stranger. "No, sir; am ne
relative of her, but I am proud of her
complexion. | am the druggist that
sold il to her. made it myself"
Madame Masks her husband for n
new dress. "Rut, bless my soul, dear,
this is the fourthnew dress you We want
cd in Two months" Every well, very
well; your hrartIrssncss will kill me,
and then you'll see if the new dress I'll
want tlcn--plain white with satin fac
ings to match the lining of the coffin
won't cost Il deal more 1t may, my
love. but it will be cheaper in the long
rlu-you'll never want another.
A negro entered Il awyer'S office and
asked for Il private consultation. He
then stated thar he wanted suit brought
against his wife tordivolce. 'On what
grOund?' asked the lawyer; on account
OF intidrlity" Yes, boss; you hit it first
pop She goes to pra'r meeting foaI
times a week, and don't come home till
way late in the ni9nt.-GalvcstOI
News.
con, Dear !" exclaimed young
lady cuteringa public hall the uthc
evening, "what dreadful odor of car
hurfttrd hydrogen :" "Mum ~ sait
the janitor, with puzzled countenancc
"Ile smell of the carhurctted hydro
zen" she explained "Ihat's no kinC
o gin, num-" replied the janitor
chats garss the pipes is leakin'
mum"
'How do YOU like the hymns hi
asked his city cousin as they left the
church.
'One of them was just splendid re
piled She.
'Ah! which one"'
'The one in the next pew. with black
curly hair, and such killing black
eyes.
'Unnumbered summers lie within my
heart checrily sings Richmond street
young lady in the first line Of Il poem
sent to this office. This is indeed good
news. If the young lady will come
down here and lend us summer or two
or even warm spring, her memory
will always be held in the highest es.
TEEN by us.
The other day II would-be fashionable
lady called at a neighbor'S when she
thought it would be about srlpper-timc.
Come in," said the ncighhor, eve are
having tableauX." I'm so glad, said
the visitor 81 thought | smelt EN-,
and | like them better than anything
else for supper"
A man will eat soggy biscuits twice a
week without complaint when his girl
invites him out to tea, but when the girl
becomes his wife, if there is the faint
est suspicion of saleratus in them the
ncighbOrs will think ward convention
is being held near by, by the racket he
makes.
A little girl of -, the daughter of %
Hoboken clergyman, was asked Sadie,
does your father ever preach the same
twice? After thinking mo-
ment, Sadie replied : eyes. | think he
does, but l think he hollers in different
places"
Teacher--"John, what are your boots
made of?" Boy-"Ofleather." "Where
does the leather come from ," "From
the hide of the on" "What animal,
therefore, supplies you with boots and
gives you meat to eat 2" "My father" 1"
A fe'hy girl-Addie Pose. A pug
naciouS girl-Hitty Magin. A girl to
be avoided-Black Maria. A well red
healthy Indian-An oleagin-
-