Smyrna times., 1881-07-06
Current Comment.
PHILADELPHIA EVENING NEWS.

Warned by the fate of the New Vorl,
brewers the comet has concluded not to
strike.
Ihere would be about three hundred
carriage accidents in the Park daily wera
II not for the providential fact that horses
don't drink.
What strange things we see when we
haven't gum" as the granger said when
he first saw an..eyeglassed maiden with
the aesthetic stOop.
Inc refining influences of civilization
nave made such advancement at Lend
Vllie that man can now wear high hat
to church without being shot at
RehobOth Beach is doing its best to win
patronage. Though it cannot honestly
claim to have the sea serpent it cxultingly
announces that it has no brass band.
The Baroness Burdette-C -Couts will not
come TO this country with her husband.
it wonld be so embarrassing to have etron'
gers asking: . Is your son married."
Sweet sixteen may be very pretty and
interesting, but if you want to know
what kind of wife she will make find
out what kind Of wife her mother has
made.
If the immigrants that arrived in Amer
lca last May were collected in one place
they would make a city equal in popula-
ton to Milwaukee and just about a.
American.
Cage butterfly and it will soon rub all
the pretty fuzz off its wings. Marriage
has the same effect with some women. the
only difference being that men make allow.
ance for the butterfly.
Up to date twenty-five counties in North
Carolina have declined to grant retail
liquor licenses. They consider it need
less waste of time to buy liquor in such
small quantities down there.
Japan is now supporting six large uni
versities on the European plan, and man.
ufacturers of cricket bats. footballs and
boats are doing a good business. The
japanese have also ordered few books.
Rev. Joseph Cook says the lower ami
mails are immortal. This would Indicate
that all men are eventually to be happy,
for good many would flnd ghost life very
monotonous if they could not have dog
to kick,
To every man there comes time when
he wonders how he could have been such
fool.-Burlington Harkeye. And just
about that time there is some woman near
him who cannot tell how she could have
been such fool.
If all the people whose names are an
nouuced as having engaged rooms at Sar-
atoga actually put in appearance, they
will have to sleep five in bed.-New York
Telegram. That would not be bad idea,
considering the weather.
Nothing is so hard to kill as cat, A
Philadelphia tom went into a butcher
shop, tumbled into sausageeutter, and
five days afterward jumped out of the
fryingpan and scratched the cook. If
you think this is not true, ask George
Alfred Townsend
A Holyoke Mass miss offers to head a
band of 100 girls from that place, where
there are five women to one man, and go
far west where there are homes, employ
ment-and bachelors. Here is a chance
for Holyoke girls who desire to enter the
holyoke of matrimony.
Indications of character. The man who
would rather listen than talk is selfish
he who would rather talk than listen ii
vain. The fast talker is fast walker and
= a fast thinker, and whether on the higl
, road to fortune or the inclined plane t
ruin, is sure to make good time.
= Byron had but one friend-he says 81
himself-and this was his dog. The dos
didn't know so much about George as hi
acquaintancesd did.-Er. And consequent
ly didn't realize when the poet had los
l his last cent.-BostOn Globe. And like ;
valued friend, too, the dog WAS neve
IL