davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1881-08-02
The Man Who Was Mixed.

Detroit Free Press.
REALLY, but hope YOU will ex-
cllse the intrusion" said the shabby
looking man as the insurance agent
looked up.
"YOu are excusable, sir. What
did you wish ?"
"WelfyOu see-I'm a bit mixed.
Was it Napoleon or Washington who
crossed the Alps ?"
"Napoleon, Of course"
"Just so-thanks. / was inclined
that way myself, but yet / knew that
Gen. Washington was always scoot-
ing around, and he might have taken
it in'o his head to cross the Alps.
Good day, sir"
He passed down the hall thirty
feet. and then returned and protested:
"Say, don't think i'll of me, but l
am still mixed up-dreadfully mixed,
Will you answer me one more ques-
ton ?"
YES
WAS it Nero who commanded the
sun to stand still y
"No; it was Joshua"
81 had an idea it was Joshua, but
l didn't dare put up money on it.
Nero was always fiddling around, you
know, and I had dim idea that he
might have taken a whack at the sun.
Very much obliged to you, SIR"
This time he went half way down
stairs, and returned on tip-toe. The
agent looked up and saw him in the
door and sharply queried:
"Well?"
"Mixed again :" pleaded the stran-
ger. Say, l want to ask you just
one more question"
EYES,"
''Did you ever lend a man
dollar to help him on his way to
Columbus to see his dying wife,"
"Never! You are thinking of old
Diogenes. He used to she'll out to
every dead-beat who came along"
MIXED again, by thunder" NUT
tered the man, and as he passed down
stairs he took great pains to set his
feet down on each step like a man
who had bet on three of kind and
found a flush taking his money.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1881-08-02
FELLOWS
COMPOUND SYRUP OF
HYPOPHOSPHITES.

Is composed "i gradients identical with th"-s
which constitute Healthy blood. Muscle ana
Nerve. and Bran Substance, while life itself ~
directly dIPen tsEt upon some Of them.
By increasin, Nervous and Muscular Ni.or, u
will cure Dyspepsia. feeble or interrupted ;;ct,on
of the Heart and PalPatat:on. weakness OF Intel
l-ci caused by greif WORRY, Overtaxed or irregli-
lar habits, Bronchitis, Congestion of the Lungs.
IL cures Asthma, Neuralgia, Whooping Cough,
Nervousness, AMI II a most wonderful adjunct tn
other remedies in sustaining life duiing the pro-
cess of Dipfhera.
The expenditure Of brain power too early or
too severely in children often results IN physI-
cal debility; the use of Fellows Hypophosphites
cxerts singular happy effect in such cases.
10 not he deceived by remedies hearing a sim
liar name; no other preparation II - Substitute
ali Druggists.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1881-08-02
TRUSTEES SALE.

Whereas, John Moore and Christena Moore, his
wife, by their deed of trust, dated December the
10Th 1896 and recorded in book L. page s05 Of the
iaa, Pettis county, Missouri, conveyed to the I'M
designed in trust, to secure the payment Of the
notes specified in said deed the following described
land situate in said county and state, viz: The
west hall of the northeast quarter of section twenty
four, in township fort yfonr. and OF range twenty
two. Now, under the provisions of sail deed, the
undersigned will offer said land for sale at public
auction for cash. the highest bidder u, the front
door of the court house i'm said Pefiis county. be-
tween the hours vi o'clock a and O'Clock p.
NJ, On
SATURDAY, 81 SEPTEMBER, 1881,
for the purposes Of said trust.
S-aw5t MENTOR THOMSON, Trustee.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1881-08-02
A Scene Between Sala and Bret
Harte.

London Letter to Baltimore American.
The gossip of the clubs and the
dinner tables this week is in regard to
u little scene which occurred at a din
ner last Friday, and in which Mr..
George Augustus Sala and Mr.. Bret
Harte were participants. Years ago,
in San Francisco. Mr.. Bret Harte
attacked Mr.. Sala in an unprovoked
article, it is said, and with a venom
which Mr.. Sala never forgave. They
have never met since until last Friday
evening at dinner at the house Of
MIR. Firth. Miss Firth, who acted as
mistress of the ceremonies. was made
acquainted with the feud between the
two gentlemen, but with a girls want
of tact and experince, thought it would
be good "fun" to send Mrs. Sala down
to dinner with Bret Harte as escort.
She therefore introduced him for that
purpose. Seeing this, Mr.. Sala step
ped forward, removed his wife's hand
from Mr.. Harte's arm, and said he
could not take her to dinner unless he
would first offer an apology for the in
suit offered years ago, and for false
assertions which had never been retract-
ed. MIR. Bret Harte declined to retract
or apologize, whereupon Mr.. Sala took
his wife upon his arm and left the
house. The next evening an import
ant banquet was given by the Lord
Mayor to the representatives of litera-
ture and journalism, to which both
gentlemen had been invited, but which
neither attended, for fear Of meeting
the other.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1881-08-02
ADANC1NG PROCESSION.
Commemoration of the Anniver-
sary of q Frightful Plague.

A writer in Berlin SAYS not far from
those places of rendezvous for all
nations of the civilized world, spec
tacle has been attracting the curiosity
of thousands, which leads us back to
the depths of the middle ages, al
though it Is repeated year by year. /
am speaking Of the village of Echter-
mach and its far-famed dancing pro-
cession. From Is, 900 to 10000 pill
grims could not obtain more accur-
ate information about the numbers
assemble on some meadows within the
territory, but close to the confines of
the grand duchy Of Luxembourg
The inhabitants of different villages
men and women apart-collect behind
their clergymen, and a hand Of must
clans is placed in the front. As the
clock strikes five on Tuesday morning
in Whitsuntide priest walks up the
steps of rude wooden pull pit, and
thence addresses the multitude, then
already swollen by an incredible ex-
tent by sightseers. who come by special
trains and every imaginable vehicle to
be present at the performances. The
community which happens to be near
est the road stands forth, preceded by
their priest, who, however, does not
darce. Two men or two women hop
away first two steps in advance. and
then one backward, the hand playing
a most monOtOnus tune, abraham
had seven Sons, seven sons; seven
sons had Abraham" are the words to
this terrible melody, which each sue
cessive set. as they join the procession,
take up with increasing vigor. Hour
after hour passes away before the last
people have started on their miles of
way to the foot of the church Of st.
Willebrod. whence they go up fifty
steps. round and round the alter and
finally descend the fifty steps. Moth
ing can exceed the excitement and ex-
haustion among the dancers, old and
young. Great are the numbers Of
those who, in spite ofan occasional
draught of water, offered by charita-
BILE bystanders, sink down on the
dusty road, not to rise for hours.
The question is naturally asked.
What does all this mean. The answer
is, 1t is intended to perpetuate the
remembrance of a frightful epidemic
of st. Vitus dance, which carried off
hundreds of victims in the neighbor-
hood referred to some time during the
fifteenth century, to offer up prayers
and VOWS to the patron saint, to re-
cognize a miraculous cessation of the
epidemic. and it j.. a fultillment Of
VOWS then made that. i'm gratitude,
there should be yearly dances per-
formed-two hops forward and one
backward, as closely resembling the
visitation from which heaven had de-
livered them as rhythm and good taste
would allow
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1881-08-02
SALE IN PARTITION.

SALE IN PARTITION.
In the Circuit Court of Pettis County. Mo.
Cameron ID. Garrett, Plaintiff, W.. Rich
ard VI. Garrett. Defendant.
BI virtue oi an order of sale in parti-
ton. made in the above entitled cause at
the regular May term, 1881, of said court,
and to ME directed, will. on the
18TH DAY OF SEPTEMBER, 1881,
ut the court house door i'm the City OF
Scdalia, expose To sale at public auction,
to the highest bidder. the following de-
scriled real estate, viz: Lot number 4, in
block ~, i'm Smith 4 Martins I'd addition
tn the CITY Of Sedalia, and also 4 certain
tract Of land situated i'm said county, and
DESERVED rs: That part of the west hall
oi the east half of the northwest quarter of
the southeast quarter of section 3, town
ship ~, and range II, living south OF
Broadway, street in said City of Sedalia,
more particularly described, viz: Com
mencing ut the point i'm the south line OF
said Broadway street, so feet west Of the
east line of said northwest quarter Of the
southeast quarter, running thence west 80
ieet, thence south along the east line Of
ii. Jakeman's lot, 10 feet. thence east 81
feet, thence north On direct line 10 feet,
to the beginning, upon the following terms !:
One-half cash; One-half on a credit Of
six months, with eight per cent. interest.
Both tracts sold subject to encumbrance to
Building and Loan Association ON each
separately. The amount OF each will be
shown by me to any one upon application.
THOS. p. HOY,
7-l2-w3t Special Commissioner.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1881-08-02
A DOuble-Barreled Joke.

From the San Francisco Post.
The other evening. around at Nc.
Governs saloon. the boys were put
ting up an elaborate practical Joke
on somebody, and they asked old
Capt. Skiddy, who had just happened
in, to take a hand.
mo, gentleman" said that estima-
bic old citizen, decisively; you don't
catch me taking part in any practical
Jokes. [ went out of that business
for good over ten years ago."
Glow was that?" asked the group
Of beer exterminators.
"Well. it was in the winter of 10,
may be II. / was living in Daven-
port, Iowa, and a man came round
there giving balloon ascensons. One
day it was advertised that the mayor
Of the town was going up with him.
Now, the mayor was a big fat man,
who always wore light suit of clothes
and a white hat. This put me in the
notion Of working off a joke on the
people, l got acquainted with the
aronaut, and he agreed to assist me
in the scheme. We then got an old
suit of light clothes and fixed up a
dummy, which we filled with sand, SO
that it weighed about 200. and would
therefore. drop straight and heavy
like q man. The day of the ascension
there was over 80, 900 people on the
ground, and the excitement was very
great. as there was a light wind blow
at the time. After the balloon got up
about mile, aud maybe that far south
oftown, they dropped the dummy
over"
"Big sensation then eh?"
''Well, should say So But that's
Just where lost my grin. While the
crowd was shou' ing and going wild
with horror, l just laid down on the
ground. rolled over ard laughed until
/ was just sick"
"Should think the crowd would
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1881-08-02

versal Lassitude, Pain IN the Back pimness OF
Vision, Premature Old Age, and many other DIS
eases that lead to insanity or consumption and
premature grave.
aSFull particulars in our pamphlet, which We
desire to send free by mail to every one. This
Specific Medicine sold by all druggists 1t 81 per
package six packages for 3d. or viii he sent free
be- mail on receipt of the money. by addressing
THE GRAY MEDICINE CO,
Rufialo. NY.
Sold IN Sedaiia by Aug. F. Fleischmann, corner
Second and Ohio streets. 2-7dkwly .
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1881-08-02
JULY ORA WING.
Sll2,iU

SGD Prizes, Sll2,4
Whole ticket, q. HaIs ticket, u.
q tickets, $50. 80 tickets, 800.
Remit money or bank draft IN letter, send by
expires. Don't send ny registered letter post
office order. Orders of q and upwards. by
express, can b- sent at our expense.
Address all orders to r. NJ. BOARDMAN, COui ier.
Journal Building. Louisville. Ky. or T. J. CON-
ERFORD. pa Rr0ad~ say Now York
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1881-08-02

popular illustrated book Zoo pages, On
MANHOOD! Wo.AIHoop. MARRIAGE!
ImPediments TO Marriage; tie cause and
cure. Sent seeWe!r traltd, postpaid, for 90
cents, by DIR. {. WHITTIER, 6I7 s..
Charles Street, St. Louis, Mo-, the ereG .
speciahst. = Read his work.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1881-08-02
HOW TO SECURE HEALTH.

Ii seems strange that any one will suffer from
the many arrangements brought on oy an irn-
pure condition ot the blood. wtien SCuSILL'S
SARSAPARIL.LA md STII.LINGlA. or BLOOD
AND LIVER SYRUP will restore perfect health
TO the physical organization. IL - indeed "a
strengthening syrup. pleasant TO take. ana has
proven itself to he the BEST BLOOD PURIFIER
ever discovered, efiectusliy curing Scrofua,
Syphiliiic disorders, Weakness OF the kiGineys,
Ery>ipeas, Malaria; all nervous disorders and
debility, Bilious complaints and all disease: indi-
cafin. an impure condition OF the Blood. Liver,
Liineys StOnae II, Skin. etc IL correc;~ lndIges-
lion. A single bottle will prove To Won Its merits
as health rem yer, for IL ACTS LIKE CHARM,
especially when the complaint is Of an eNhaus
tive nature having a te Idaucy to lessen the uatu
"a, vigor OF the bra N ana nervous system.
BAKERS PAIN PANACEA cures pam IN Man
or Beast Use externally and internally and lind
Instant relief.
DIR. ROGERS VEGETABLE WORM SYRUP
instantly destroys WORMS and removes the Sc
erection which causes them.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1881-08-02
ADMINISTRATORS NOTICE.

Notice is hereby given, that letters eli s.lminis-
tration On the estate 0f Mrs. Catherine j. Talbot,
sle,ea>sL granted To the undersigned. "n the
18th day If July, 1881. by the pr.lsi- court III
Pettis county, Missouri. All persons having claims
against said estate required To- exhibit them
for allowance to the administrator. within one year
after the date If said letters. they may he pre-
cluded from any benefit If such estate and ii such
claims he not exhibited within two years from the
date of this publication, they shall h. forever barred
This 18th day Of July, 1851.
JAS. c. THOMPSON, Administrator.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1881-08-02
ACOY BRIDE.
The Curious Adventure ola Young
Woman Of the Eastern
Shore,

Mrs. Annie Souder, nee Sullen, As
stated in yesterdays Gazette, arrived
here on Tuesday in the Tangier with
her brother and went to the house of
some friends on North Ann street.
Yesterday a reporter Of this paper
called to see her and was politely re-
ceived. The young lady was in no
wise embarrassed, but told the story
of her singular matrimonial adven-
ture freely, and, possessing intelli-
gence and sincerity, the interview
was of the most interesting and pleas
ing character. She is very pretty,
being about medium height or slightly
under, with an excellent figure, a
clear complexion and dark brown
hair, SO that it is no wonder that Mr..
c. w. Souder became enamored of
this fair denizen Of the eastern shore.
She states that she became acquainted
with Mr.. SOuder three or four weeks
previous to her marriage. Her father.
Mr. Jacob Cullen, keeps a store in
Crisield, and Souder went there to
sell jewelry, as he made his living
peddling jewelry through the PENN
snIa. One Thursday, about the
early part of April she Went driving
with Sender. She had always hith-
erto avoided being alone with him,
but on this occasion understood that
she was going to see her sister. After
they had gone some distance into the
country Souder asked her to marry
him. She refused and told him that
she did not love him and would rather
die than marry him. Souder then
rev a marriage license into her lap
and told her that if she did not mar
nv him she would never get back to
Crisfeld alive. Becoming frightened.
she consented to go to the minister's.
Before they arriy el there he told her
that if any minister should endeavOr
to prevent the marriage he would
kill him. Thus her fears for the
minister's life prevented her from in
form ng him Of the circumstances at
tending the marriage. The ceremony
was performed and the two returned
TO Crisfeld. AS soon as she reached
home the lady informed her brother
of what had taken place. He at once
made the facts known TO his father.
The lady protested that she did not
love her husband, had been forced to
marry him and would not live with
MIN. As both father and brother
sided with her, Souder, though object
ing very strongly to the sequel to his
marriage, was compelled to 60 to his
h ,tel without his bride. Matters
have remained in this condition ever
since. Souder has had several in
:erviews with his bride ofan hour.
but she still remains Obdurate and re-
fuses to soften her sentence of banish-
ment. She states that he would fire.
quently pass her On the street and
speak to her, but she has steady re-
fused to notice him. On Tuesday.
partly to avoid him altogether she
came to Baltimore, as stated, with
her brother. Souder WAS in the same
boat. He approached to speak to her.
and asked her why she was angry and
whether she would not return to him
In the presence Of her brother she
again told him that she did not love
MIN and would not live with him.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1881-08-02
A Contrary Tooth.

Joseph H. Hawley, builder of this
city. recently had singular and high
ly successful operation in dental sur-
gerry performed on him by promi-
nent surgeon in Washington. For
several years Mr.. Hawley had been
a sufferer from neuralgia in its most
aggravating form. He consulted
prominent physicians of Troy and
vicinity and seemed to get no relief.
His health was gradually failing aud
he was unable to obtain sufficient
sleep to refresh him. The trouble
seemed to be seated in his jaw and ex-
tended upward to his eye, Some body
told him of a very eminet dental sur
geon in Washington. and recommend
ed him to GO and see him, Mr..
Hawlov reluctantly took the advice
offered him and went to Washington.
He called on the Doctor and stated
his case. The doctor asked him if he
ever had an evetcoth. Mr.. Hawley
said that he had never had one
and in answer to the physicians
question said that he had been so in
formed by his mother. i he doctor
said that the eye tooth instead of
coming out, had taken course which
imbedded it in the jaw bone. The
only thing to be done was TO cut out a
portion Of the jaw bone which sur
rounded the tooth. The Trojan sub
mitted to the operation. He was
placed under the influence Of ether,
and when he recovered the doctor
held a small piece Of the jaw bone in
his fingers. snow" said the doctor,
1--WE will cut this open and see if We
find the tooth" True. there was the
mischief-maker firmly imbedded in the
jaw bone, in a position at about right
angles to the one that it should occupy
if in its proper place in the jaw. The
doctor informed Mr.. Hawley that his
sufferings from that cause was ended
and up the present time he has had no
return of his trouble. TROY Press.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1881-08-02
GRAY'S SPECIFIC MEDICINE.
RADe MARK. The Grea, En-. TRADE MAJ

ut 'Ie9t I'll
glIsb Remedy.
An u n failing
cure for Semi
nal Weakness,
$ permatorrhea,
ImDotency, AMI
all Diseases that
follow "a u Sc
quence Of Self
Abuse ;; as Loss
80 M.-a- -,
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1881-08-02
have taken a tumble, too" suggested

have taken a tumble. toe" suggested
the audience.
..Bnt Just wait. Of course the
crowd made break out of town to
scrape up the remains, and l rushed
home to get my fishing tackle, for it
struck me that the most healthy thing
| could do would be to go a fishing for
a day or two. Before l left the house
however, | was arrested for murder .
"For murder?"
Exactly. A lot of the boys accom-
panied by the sheriff, rushed in and
collared me. They claimed that the
dummy had fallen on a farmer and
driven his skull clear into the heels of
his boots. They said that the bal
loonatic had turned states evidence,
and the chances were I'd be hung by
mob before night"
That was rough"
"Well. so l thought. was just
scared plum to death, and l begged
the boys to stand by and protect me.
| ponied up $50 for legal expenses,
and they hid me in the garnet of a
neighbor's house. They kept me there
ten blessed days. and there wasn't
day but they struck me for twenty
or two for contingencies. One night
the whole gang came around full Of
beer-On my money, mind you-and
said that they had concluded, as adj
ditional precautiOn, to hid me in the
hollow of an old oak tree about three
miles out in the woods. | saw through
the whole business, then, and drove
them out with club, 1t was a good
square case of the bitter bit, l know.
but they never let UP calling me
Dummy Skiddy' after that, until they
actually run me out of the town. and
1 had to emigrate to this jumping off
place Of creation" and the captain
shook his head with disguised air as
he paid for his hot Scotch and walked
out.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1881-08-02
@34th=
PuPuLAR MONTHLY DRAWING Or the
Commonwealth Distribution Company.
In the CITY of Louisville, on
OAT1YRnAV Y1Tv 90ht l0Ql

These drawings occur monthly Sundays ex-
cepted> under provisions Of act of the General
Assembly OF Kentucky. including the Newport
Printing and Newspaper Company, approved
April y, 1878.
0l.This IL q special act, and has never been
repealed.
The United States Circuit; court on March 81
rendered the following decisions:
lst-That the Commonwealth Distribution
Company is legal.
2d-lts drawings are fair.
The company has now on hand . large
reserve fund. Read tine list Of prizes for the
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1881-08-02

Liniment is needed by som"bosl.- III
every house. Every day bring. lie:.s"i
the a8ony Of an awful sraid ",- ..,ss /.
|subdued, Of rheumatic martyrs 30
|stOred, or a valuable horse u *
saved by the healing power Of this
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1881-01-13
Wrong Side I'm.

A German antiquary once made the
discovery that stone placed over sta
BILE door bore the inscription 1881.
Calling on the proprietor, the Profess
sor said to him eagerly: "Did you not
obtain this stone from the castle ruin
on the hill yonder!" *'It may be that
my grandfather fetched it thence when
he built the stable" was the reply.
The antiquary then asked what he
would take for the stone. ''Since you
appear to have fancy for it, said
the farmer, ''give me 40 guldens, and
I will bring it to your house, s'Rather
large sum" said the Professor; ''but
bring it to my residence, and you shall
have the money! The farmer
brought the stone upon truck, and
the Jealous antiquary turned it over,
to refresh his eyes with sight of it's
venerable chronological inscription,
not without anxiety that it might have
been damaged in it's removal. ssWhy,' -
he exclaimed. ''This is not the right
stone. On the one I bought from you
was the date 1851, while this bears the
very modern date 1907 do not
trouble about that" said the peasant.
"The masons, you see, sir, turned the
stone upside down when they set it in
the doorway. because it fitted better
that Way.'
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1881-01-13
"A Great Moral Lessor. ~

Those who pass 1.-THE boxes" wherein
the aims of the congregation arc put,
see many moral lessons, but none more
graphic than this one
At meeting of some colored breth.
rem it was decided to make a collection.
The President concluded to pass the hat
himself, and. in order to encourage the
others he put in ten-oent piece. After
the collection, during which every hand
had been in the hat, the President ap-
preached the table, turned the hat ui-
side down, and not even his own contri-
button dropped out.
He opened his eyes with astonish-
ment, and exclaimed, Use chen lost de
ten cents started wild !"
Then there was CONSERVATION on the
faces OF the assembly. It was evidently
q hopeless case, and was summed up b.
one brother, who rose in his place and
said solemn1y, Oar pears to be great
moral lesson roun' heah somewhat"