Litchfield enquirer., 1881-11-03

A Rockland man saw advertised "a sure cure for drunkenness. He .forwarded
 the necessary dollar and received by re- turn mail, written on valuable postal card in beautiful violet ink, the magic Yerds-"Den't drink" YN
 B scsai6bss ssaid t0l tgS One lis friends who was talking of getting married: 'sWhy don't you marry Miss X. over there !? She's perfect angel.'' ''She may be an angel, but she's pained." "Well, d1d you Eeeff9r see n angel tffaf wasn't f pqeiPted2" } lHJdt poat ~cclabl is dose asked old Baron Oistersteupan at Yorktown on Tuesday. pointing his cane in the direc, tion of the United States navy, which lay in the eharbor.y yTheY Baron Tcan't have "a very elaborate ideal Of Athe size of our American boat clubs.
 lo Somebody pointed, out 2 man. in St. Louis as the inventor of the gas meter.
 and in fifteen minutes he was leading an
 infuriated mob toward the woods. And he didn't understands, and thought they
 must have taken him for Chicago man.
 '"The handspring of Italian music in
 the efghteenth centr1y,D says recent
 written fwas the exclusive and passionate
 worship of the human voice." The main spring of Italian music in the nineteenth
 century IS in the organ grinders arm.
 @s tsYou afe onlthe wrong tack. 2 said the
 pilots wife when the hardy son of the
 loud sounding sea sat down on-it and
 arose with the usual exclamations. s.No. J he replied, after critical examination, ''I'm on the right tack. but shoot me dead if ain,'t on the wrong end of it.'' Rll1Ea nlIlEE3.ji7ss I 2Jli1ED The great hit of the recent congress of free thinkers at Paris was the speech of an illustrious orator who, having inserted ! his left hand into the breast of his coat. | made 8 passionate gesture with the right
 and beloved "Gentleman. I am an l atheist thank God p
 "Hello,i helloi r Glad to see vou
 Where you been this long time,' was the greeting New Haven, man received as he strolled down street this. morning. .E.s.E
 Been? Why, didn't you know? I've been sick bed for three weeks ?"
 You don't say2A Living on tick, as usual, eh ?'
 Last week q strapping negro woman was up before an Austin justice charged with un- mercifully beating her boy a saddle colored imp. ''I don't understand how you could have the heart to beat your own child so cru- ely 'Jedge, has you been parent of wuff1ess yaller boy like dat ar cub of mine ?" "Never r ejaculated the judge with great yehemence. getting red in the face. 'sDen
 It is re lated of George Clark, the celebrated Tnsgre inssrelethatsbeing examIned assaeyit-, nessA ehad sessreiy fnterrogated d,bfl the atior.l sney ,asvho wished to break down his evidence,
 You are in the hegro minstrel business. I be- lieve ?" Inquired the lawyer .sYes, sir, was the prompt reply tIsn't that rather a low cailing?" demanded the lawyer II don't know but what it is, sir, replied the minstrel;
 but It IS so much better thansuny fathers that l am proudof itp F'What was yours fathers calling p "He was a lawyer" replied Clark,
 in tone of regret that put the audience in roar The lawyer let him alone. I tt [ Woodward avenue saleonistywas decor at-
 ing his bar the other day with small flags, when stranger who had just got outside of four inches of whisky leaned his elbows on the bar and observed: Stranger, I do love that flag" Do, eh?p You bet do!' Were you in the war ?" .Not exactly-but my, heart was there. ]" Where was your body ?'''
 "Say. that's the only thing blame this gov ernment for l If there hadn't beensach go1d Zen chances to make from $40O st6f $SO0 Sby jumping the bounty I'd have died for the flag. and my old dad and two brothers would have died for her. It was mean trick of Uncle Sam to shake $500 at a feler who wanted to wrap that old flag around him and die on the kfell,, | Jumped Etkes bounty four different times, and between me and you I wished Il
 hadn't You see. hain't hardly got the face now to nsk Uncle Sam to grat me "a lper,sion for q broken leg received while on the scoot for Canada, though may work up to it in time Bless the old stars and stripes and gimme httle more of that same brand 1"