Connecticut western news., 1881-04-06

believes in pound of cure.
 AGITATION is the marshaling of the conscience of nation to mold its laws. Str R. Peel.
 AGRICULTURE not only gives riches to nation, but the only riches she can call her own.-Johnson.
 THERE is no sorrow greater than to love what is great, and try to reach 1t, and yet to fail. -Middlemarch.
 IT WAS Artemus Ward who said that there are two things in this world for which no one is ever prepared-twjns.
 MANY have an idea they are serving the Lord when they are only meddling with what is none of their business.
 A NEW song asks "What is home where love is notP" It is simply e boarding-house and cold sleeping room.
 TEE meanest woman on record is the one who boiled codfish Tn fire.proof safe to keep her neighbors from getting smell.
 A MAN having fallen down in a fit in tailor's shop, an envious rival said: "That's the ouly fit ever seen in that establishment.
 IT is quite wonderful how many things there are in this world which you do not want if you can only make yourself think so
 S1MoNroN, the associated press man, is featuring on "How we get the news" but considering that he has just been married he strangely omlts one very i'm portant source of information.
 IT is curious fact that the things we don't have always seem to be most desirable. The figs on the other side of the hedge, say the Spanish, are far sweeter than any on this side.
 You would save yourself and others . great many useless heartburnings if you would manage to keep your eyes open to the virtues of your friends, and look at their faults with your eyes shut
 NEW YORK complains of a case of starvation within three blocks of the obelisk, but out this way we did not understand that the obelisk was import. ed for poor people to satisfy their hum ger on. ....
 A WOMAN, returning from market. got into South Hill street car the other day, with basket full of dressed poul- try. To her the driver, speaking sharply, said, "Fare!" "No," said the woman, "Fowlw And everybody cackled.
 VERY innocent man, old man Mildboy is. A friend found him at his desk the other day absorbed in perplexing study. "I am writing my will," the old man said, "and want to fix it some how 90 that the lawyers can get some of the property"
 THEY were discussing very sell fish man, and some one undertaking his defense, remarked, "Oh, but you know he has so many enemies" He an en- emy ?" was the reply; Chow could he have one? He never rendered a service to any one but himself"
 AT confagration a worthy citizen gazes with stupefaction on the steam fire engines. "Well, never," he says with deliberation. "I never expected to see such criminal, senseless waste fitness The idea of warming the water before throwing it on the fames."
 A HARTFORD woman, one night last week, in response to tramp peddler's insolent ''You're alone, sin't yer ?" re- sponded by presenting her husbands revolver at his head, with the additional answer of "No; I'm not" The peddler didn't stop to display his wares.
 A GENTLEMAN was explaining to for eigner the wonders of the Brooklyn Bridge. "Dot pig pridgeways," said he, "is almost awful in dose oxpainses vot it dakes cop ouet some bokets. Put no lants is like dthis lants. As you look up at the pridgeways and dowen on yourselef you say, Shplendit Vot IS fifteen or twendy tollars?"
 THERE is Q Baltimore boy named collie, who is just out of his dresses. A friend of the family asked Ollie "Whose boy he was?" "I'm my mann my's boy" "Why, Ollie," said his father responsibility. "Yes," contln. ued Ollie, "and I'm papa's boy. " "How can that be-" asked the friend. "Why, my gracious P was the reply, "can't wagon have two horsesP" WHEN on its couch of rosy clouds
 The burning sun has sunk to rest,
 Aud tired of song the woodland bird
 Is sleeping in it's quiet nest
 When evening lays it's misty hand
 On dewy flowers and prattling streams,
 How sweet to hear from lips we love,
 Good night! Good night and pleasant dreams How sweet to hear from lips we love,
 Good night! Good night and pleasant dreams!
 A MAN with handful of bills stopped Frank Duffy yesterday, and said em' phatically: "Now, I ask you tol the last time to pay this bill fol them boots." Is this the last tune, sure enough - no humbug about it?" "Yes, sir; this is the ias time," "Lor be praised P said Duffy : with a sigh of relief, "I was afraid was never going to hear the last O ) those boots," and he strolled off to ge cigar. "I WOULD like to know very much, } remarked Schomberg to Gilhooly, "i my brudder Sam wash an honest man. : "Tn tell you how to find out if he 5 honest" responded Gilhooly. "Nex f time you go off on the train take hin loH Hcnn.la