Delaware state journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1870-1883, 1881-04-07

Gioje the llanlburg of America.
Checvcs Cults Bristles is the name OF
veteran barber in Aiken, ). &.
Thousands of oysters are annually
Killed in their beds by the star-ish.
Oyer 7,Uoo patent applications were
rejected for lack of novelty last year.
Poverty is no disgrace, but most folk
would rather endure something that is.
A fast train is one going more than
eight miles an hour.-Winoia .SUprem'
Cont.
Swearing in Avon, H., has been
brought down to II 'iinc' point. -Nwi
lori .NcWS.
We breath freely again. Mr.. Anthony
Trollope approves OF MIR. Longlcllow =
christian iUion.
The Palm Fiber Company in Floridaare
shipping large quantities of the fiber to
their mills at the North.
''What is nicer than the babies tasks
Il lady friend. Jones, who has triplcts at
his house, says n babe is.
1t must he gratifying to ultra patriotic
Yankees to learn that the American hog
can scare the British lion.
Said u disgruntlcd old bachelor "Mv
friend led his wife to the altar, but there
his leadership came to an end. -
Mrs. Abbey Wynn, of Jackson county,
Ala, has lamb with one hand, two
bodies, three ears and eight legs.
unc half the murders in this country,
says the Cleveland Lcudtr, are caused by
the carrying Of concealed weapons.
When we are gone it is our money,
not our old clothes, that our friends and
relatives want to preserve as relies.
Jones says that the clouds of his early
childhood were no bigger than a woman ;
hand, but Il squall always followed
them,
The other day II goat licked oil $40
worth of revenue stamps from whisky
barrels stored in Il .StiIclbyville, Ind, ,
distilIory.
Cremation is getting to he dog cheap
it doesn't cost anything if you are Il mem
her of the new society just formed in
New York.
The best way to apologize is to do such
Il kindness to the offended one that he
will forget that you ever attempted to
1t is to he hoped that the new Czar can
read English. 1t would he pity To have
all the advice given him by newspapers
so to waste.
As soon as Mrs. GARFIELD gets time to
breathe Il little she will. say the lady
correspondents give some nice little
entertainments.
Chinese sailors say "hopee" for port.
| and "gollrr'' for starboard, and the
mainsaiI is referred to as zone big
| Sprealr" CLOTH
\ Western manager advertised a
| temperance prrlnrmanc" and then put ON
II burlrsqur 1t was nuticrd that nobody
got up aud went out.
The Admiral of CASTLE declared that
when u man narrirs and when Lr goes to
war he ought to br prepared for anything
that may happen.
An ordinance against profanity is
rigidly enforced in Avon, Ill. a plain
damn brings line Of 50, and fancy
swearing costs more.
The l'russianS, according to the Satat-
dtg RcciaC, understand the art of wasting
time at watering place better than any
| olhrf hallul ol hulupc.
The Boston school girl who died ol
heart disease last week had jumped Il
skipping rope over 200 times Just before
entering the school room. .....
Strawberries in the cup are As plcnti-
'ul Us three dollars arr; but the trouble
is that one cannot tiud sugar dear enough
to put ON thcm.-P l. Wm.
A New London concern proposes tc
attract trade by exhibiting Il genuine
Beruharlt stocking, if they can find Il
cane small enough to stretch it over.
Lrntcn parties consist of quiet, little
parties assembled for the purpose oi
sewing for the poor, etc. The only thing
served in the line of refreshments is tally.
A liquor seller in New York evadcs til,
law ngeniousIy. lie induces his cllsto-
mcr- to pay for their Sunday drinks OF
saturday and only delivers the liquor on
sunday.
The Buffalo Etprcss alludes to Mr.
Simouton's marriage and his wedding tril
to California, carefully adding "takinp
his wife along Iou can't be too exact
about such things.
Persons who feed chilly ut nights caI
paste the following over their beds.
private letter from Florida says '''her.
nometer ,G in the shadc, and Ladies ar,
dressed in whitc.'
President Eliot, of Harvard College
says that there are now but l,jl:
students ia the Ia colleges of the New
England Association, against 4,jI4 il
Isll-f The only college showing al
increase is Williams.
The German authorities are hecomin.
alarmed ut the larg,- emigration from tia
country to America, and ar, considering
methods t" discourage the exodus. bit
it ll'yrr occur 10 them To lower the price
of hrcr and lolosna sausage
lra>cblc old party conductor, why
didn't you wake nlr up wlcn | a>ke,
,suilt am mites beyond my station.
Conductors: II did try, but all coul,
get oul Of you was, 'AlI right, Maria gc
the children their breakfast, and I'll b
down in minute.
We have received from Young lady il
de- Kulb county song, entitled, M,
iicart Is in the Highlands" Th
certainly is rather embarrassing. but
your liver is still in Illinois and worlliu.
we'll you will probably weather tn
spring gales. tH"ugo Trib'n.
{ Miss Nouaulait -'What a charmin!
love of Il cup marked Tom and Itrry 80
G,ntlrluanly Wonder at Maioliri,--"l Yes
We sell n large number of them. Mis-
N.-''l}ut haven't you some mallie,
Clifford aud Alvord or Brriir All,
tirorgir :''-iimrord La~r"oa.
.Thc greatest hurd to fought" says Pat.
. lil ltrit IL. t,n ,it
lie has % tome large I'LL lupcck,
Nud pluty at rIlc Irish pluck,
.Nnd tim. 1t Nr mtnL the tut he lIIs.
. i'ull Is hrntd over IT. a cup:
Show me the fowl upon two li.gs
that able lor to ihrip him ul,'
'Cau give my son Il college education
nj humr - asks fond parent well
you may hc able to teach him rs much q
+ college could. but you never can $
/ thoroughly mhur him with the idea tina
every body else is blamed fool. HoSio
d Past.
i The joy with whcl, Senator Mahon
b lus been received into the Republican
= ranks in the Scnate seems, cuIlsilcrin
that he is Il rrpudiator, or ''rrad uster,
as it is uphcnistically called of til
state debt, II little scandalous, in view {
the horror caused in the best Rcpubica
# minds by the alliance of the Democrat
q with the Greeubackcrs.-N Tile NdijoH.
Il WHY
n "Why don't he write"
Cried a maiden fair.
A. she tnycd with her wealth
=, OF beautiful hair,