Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1881-10-01
Good breeding is good sense.

OF the ialfest race
In some hats the cabbage leaf must feel
perfectly at home.
$1,000 worth of bathing tickets were sold
at Berkeley Springs this season.
A teaspoonful of powdered charcoal in a
glass of water often relieves headache.
A hemely young girl has the consolation
of knowing thai il she lives to be forty she'll
be a pretty old girl
Wildness is a thing which girls cannot
aflord-delicacy thing which they canno'
lose or find.
When a New Orleans man wanted his pic
ture in heroic attitude, the artist painted
him, in the act Of refusing to drink.
.'Smith, said Brown, there's a fortune
in that mine y 81 know said Smith
1--WE put my fortune in it,"
"Bacchus has drowned more men than
Neptune IL il safer to go clear over the
seas than it is to get half seas over.
Some of our exchanges are advertising
the American Brace" The genuine A
mcrican brace is fifteen cents worth of red,
red rye.
Gcolocists arc agreed that the earth is
millions of years old The mountain tops
have been bald as far back as We can re-
member.
"No sir" said he, 81 never beatmy wife.
When think she needs to suffer phySlch
pain, | persuade her to try TO drive
nail" o.
Old proyerb-g1'hc darkcy's hour is
inst before she dawn remarked Sambo,
when he started out before daybrcak to
steal 4 young chicken for Breakfast. be-.
"Durn the dog y he said, '1'll settle his
hash Tor him, when ! go down there to see
Kate to night" And he proceeded TO saiu-
rate the seat OF his pants with strychniue
Lemon iuicc is recommended in cases IF
diphtheria. The juice il applied to the
affected parts By means Of a cameis-har
brush.
The lightning used on theatrical stage
costs $40 an ounce but then SO little is re-
qured that you can kill a $C0brigand and Ten
$l2 brigands beautifully for about two cenis.
A swell matter When Fcndeson said be
was at his wits end, Fogg remarked that it
wouldn't take him long 10 get back very
short journey, indeed.
One hundred hesi Of c',tlc was the a.
mount involved on The result of a recent
Texas horse race. This is the largest beet
stake on rcco-d.
The images with which the minds holds
converse may uplih or degrade as truly az
companions in bodily form. A thought
may scar the soul as Il weapon leaves ITS
mark on.the flesh.
Some one wrots to Horace Greeley inquir
ing if guano was good TO put on potatoes.
He said it might do for those whose tastes
had become yitiated with tobacco and rum,
but he preferred gravy and butter.
"Pye often heard Of the fruits Of marri-
. age" said Bubbles, when informed that he
was the father Of twins; but most serious
~ protest against having those fruits pre-
sentcd TO me in the shape OF pair
"No." said Mrs. Goodinplon casting her
ewes over her specs 10 the silhouette of her
lamented Daniel, " | can't say as like to
see a man too stout, but just a little inclined
to petulancy, you know"
Miss Swisshelm says: If men wear
boots at all the boots should reach to thc
waist and be fastened TO belt" Think OF
man with such boots having the iimjams
Great snakes
We believe the majority ofpcrsons having
charge of milk ALLOW the cream 10 become
too sour before churning. In fact, we have
made better butter and butter that would
keep longer, from perfectly sweet cream.
A little girl ioyfully assured hcr mother
the other day that she had found out where
they made horses she had seen man
finishing one. IIe ww mailing on his last
4 fo0t'
/ Model husbands Brownson Well, !
always make t. rule b. tel my wife every
/ thing that happens" Smithkins Oh,
/ dear fellow. that's nothing. ! tell my vii,
lots Of things that never Happened at all.
The Norristown LeraH gives among is
editorials this bit of fashion 4 new style
/ # calico is known as Limbcrgcr.' Ladic.
vote il "iust the cheese" lGt we don't
know how many scents it costs yard.
Clara Norris vent Quito fish, caught five
/ freckles on her nose, and has remained in q
room, ever since. Mary Anderson would
have sand-paperod 'em OH and gone out
again next day.
We have seen ladics who were inmhcrably
shocked at the sight OF a man in his shirt
I slecycs; and their own arms were bare al
most 20 the shoulders Women are strange
creatures.
4 western town Is said to be excited over
( the elopement Of a young rake with a graz
/ widow In the absence Of mower details, il
would appear that he ought to be made tc
fork over.
So much skinned milk has recently been
condemned and poured into the Hudson, that
now all the milk dealers draw their supplies
/ direct from the rivor-and their customers
are commenting on the marked improvement
in quality
In one Of the towns Of Wyoming Terrific
I r. Is a placard in q hotel diningrO0m which
/ announces that a discreet waiter, who wa
never known tO tell even the time of day.
employed 10 carry milk punchc- and h0.
tOddies % ladies' rooms IN the evening.
Perzons ga,hefing materials or winter
bouqcts will appreciate tie note hy "a cDr-
respondent in last weeks Rural o..
dried tassais of corn are. indeed. au Addition
90 dsiod grl-ses, isates, C'c. AMI acc fstr
+ bit a. worthy D. O. gathered al flc p'lmr
of erianfhuf. ru'ai.l. and fir hsr Elf fI
| o. rrrffg fhrT mrlf hr rif irfrrr fHfr .r