The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1881-04-06
VARIETIES.

naivette. 81 always wear my best
stockings in windy weather"
Some wealthy people act as if they
think that as long as the poor have
food for reflection. that is enough to
keep them from starvation.
A more glorious victory cannot be
gained ever another man than this,
that when the injury began on his
part, the kindness should begin on
ours.
He is q man after my own Leart,
pa" said Julia Augustus. "Non-
sense" said old Practical, "he is
man after the money your uncle lett
you" And then all was quiet.
In the counting room of 80 Irish
man the following notice is stuck up
in conspicuous place Persons hav-
ing no business in this Office will get
through with 1t as soon ~ possible
and leave"
Saying sharp things doesn't pay.
It may CRAFTY your spite ct frat, bat
it is better to hsve friends than enc.
mics, and if you cannot make people
happy at least refrain from adding to
their misery.
PecEs Hwn has been looking up
the millinery business, and it finds
that 80 cents worth of velvet, 3 cents
worth of wire, aud 40 cents worth of
feathers can be stirred up and. sold
tor $25
THE conclusion to which have
arrived is that without temperance
there is no health. without religion
no happiness, and the sum OF our be-
ing is to live wisely, soberly and
righteously."
"Nothing," remarks Philadelphia
paper, 40 takes the conceit out of
the average man as to order his paper
discontinued and then seeing the edi.
tor going right along and getting
rich without HIM"
"Well Snifdes, have you posted
the ledgeriH "Yeth, thir," lisped
Sniffies, "I've pointed the ledger
bat Tor, thir, it waih too big for the
letter boxfh and | had to take it In
thide the posth .offi.h."
A long MINDED minister continuing
for some lime after the usual hosr for
closing, thereby firing the audience,
and little girl in particular, she
turned aud said "Na, I'll go home
TO dinner, and then come right back
sgain."
will you have it rare or well
done ?"' said Commissioners Brennan
to au Irishman, as be was cutting a
slioe OF roast beet. 81 love it we'll
done ever since am in this country"
replied Pat, tor it was rare enough
| ate it in Ireland"
What Is your name? asked .
Galveston Sunday school teacher of
new boy. BILL" "Bill what ?"
II dunno" What's your papa's
name p ''It's Bill, too" whats |
hi. other name ?" II dunno"
"What does your mother call him
Mr.. what p "She don't call him
mister anything" "What does she
call him p Odd Humoug."
Old gentleman {musical)-"Have |
you any plane tree wood ?p Timber
merchant, whose hopes are raised in
anticipation of good order these
hard times-"Yes, sir-pray walk in
sir-as fine 3 stock as any in town,
sir. Would you prefer it in the plank
or in the-ah-logT Old gentleman
-"Oh, thanky, I'm not particular.
l want bit tor fiddle bridget"
We have discovered why young
ladies have become 80 fond of wear
ing long fringe. Recently in . crowd
gentlemsn's coat button became
tightly entangIed in the fringe of
young lady's dress. 'lt is evident"
he said, smiling. that l am very
much attached to you, and that l can.
not make up my mind to tear myself
away" Fringy, but fact RHiIo-
delohid Sun.
SEEKING the gigantic Indian around
the waist the brave boy lifted him
into the air aud flung him headlong
down the chasm. Panting, the boy
stood. and watched the Indians body
fall from crag to crag until it disap-
peared ia the darkness below. Just
al this moment" just ut that mo.
ment the father of the boy who was
reading this trash came along, lifted
the youugster by the ear, and in the