The Portland daily press., 1881-10-05
Wit and Wisdom.
Hartford Evening Post.l
Tam,,oraroa7 Talk

kG@a oiOAu EFOh1uS oee1
Temperance Talk.
When some Of the Hartford people now sum-
mering in Maine get back we may hope for
little Trustworthy testimony as to the actual
operation of the Maine Law relative 10 the
sale and absorption of intoxicating liquors,
distilled and malt, in this present year OF grace
l881,-Hartford Courant.
Ask the Foot Guard. -Portland Press.
If the Courant man wishes statistics
About beaiii our sheriff at his tricks,
Let h m co down this way
Almost any fair day
And Wen lrot out said characteristics. =
If the Maine Law should light in Connecticut,
He'd fud he had wisdom teeth yet TO cut,
So 10 fashion door
B twixt ceiling aud floor,
That its latch string the sherlfs can't get to cut
The G. r. G's came for frolic,
AMI, fearing sa water coic,
We gave them 0 drink OF
The best We conld think OF,
AS ordered in laws apostolic.
They took trip down to our Islands,
Thinking Maine, of course one OF the dryiands;
but they ddu't sal far
Ere the struck on a bar,
Which moistened their clay at the ISLANDS.
For further correct information
Concernins the laws relaxation
Let him ask Major Embler,
Who is not ss-mbler-
4An0 - - : Posts Portland Poet.
Mai Embler and Hyde both assert,
Inst HPortand's the ps to convert
Tie people who hink,
Mai will drink"
But they add when the sheriff alert,
Posts Hartford Poet.
The above rhymes are facetiousy attributed
by the Post to certain Portland gentlemen, the
initials of whose names we have contented
ourselves with giving.
The Courant asks: .sWhen will the choir
be full agaiu?' Considering the way it sings,
we consider this very pointed and appropri-
ate question.-Yale Record.
LIE Sport: "Well, have yor shot many
partridges?, mot one; but l am pleased
enough with my shooting 1 came great deal
nearer killing than did last year. lie Figa-
70.
Indulgent Parents.
Who allow their children to eat heartily OF
high-seasoned food, rico pies, cake. &C., will
ton, sleepless nights, sickness, pain, and per
haps DEATH No family is safe without them
in the house.
San aesthetic DISCOURSE" said Lady Altbea
to her husband as they rode home from church
fright you are" said Lord Algernon-whc
had found soft place on the pewrail for the
repose of his lordly head ut was an@sthet-
ic !"
Fitting emblems are not always appreciated.
Tue neighbors of poor fellow who died, erect
ed tombstone to his memory, and had placed
above it the conventional white dove. The
widow looked at it through her tears, and
said: SIT was very thoughtful TO put it there,
John was very fond of cunning and 1t was an
especially suitable emblem.
Magic in the Nineteenth Century.
n. McRea, Wyebri9 ge, Ontario, writes. 81
have sold large quantities of DR.. THOMAS
EcLEcTRIc OH; it is used for colds, sore
throat, Group, etc., and, in fact, for any affec'
ton of the throat it works like magic. 1t is a
sure cure for burns, wounds and bruises"
The late DR.. Chaplin had an unhappy turn
for puns. DIR. Emerson on one occasion
preached for DIR. Chaplin, and, on entering the
pulpit laid his silk hat on the seat, and then
laid paper on it, DIR. Chaplin afterward came
in, and sitting down carelessly. mashed the
hat completely. Arising and picking up the
mutilated tile, he contemplated it with the re-
mark: 81 presume you thought that was a
silk hat but now it is satin"
Two little girls were arguing theological
questions on Turner street, few days since.
One of them took the ground that the dead
slept in the ground thousand years. You be-
lieve Moses and Elias appeared with Jesus,
don't you?" Eyes" "Well, do you think
tfey'd run heaven for two?" The convention
then adjourned. - Lewiston Journal.