davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1881-03-24
THE OLD STICKY SCRAP-BOOK

PREFACE.
How dear to my heart are the scraps herein
pasted,
As fond recollection present them to view;
The hours | spent thus were surely not wasted.
For their pleasures were many and no sorrow
they knew.
It's my sticky old scrap-book, my pasted-covered
scrap-book,
My leathern- bound scrap-book that loves rKs so
well.
This child of the scissors and gummy paste pot
Is endear'd to my heart as its features | view :;
lis the offspring my patience and pleasure begot,
And slowly in bigness and beauty it graw.
This child that :" just growed from innumerable
suck'd nucilage paste stead OF brindle cow
milk,
And editors and scrbblers in various g RACES"
Contributed dress both of cotton and silk.
Gossip. gastronomic Boniface biographies
Stories of clerks with phenomenal cheek
Tales about countries not found in Biographies
Tales about the bed-bug, 50 gentle and meek
Profound dissertations on all sorts of wonders,
Both dead and alive, without and with gender
Grave compositions on comical blunders
Are neighbOrs to stores | dare not re-render.
Menus Of banquets AMI Thanksgiving dinners
The story Of a cOck-roach embalm'd in pie
The incredible tale of brace of slick sinners
Who slid down 'scape so conveniently nigh.
And many more subjects, / cannot remember,
Are discussed in these pages of newspaper
scraps
A great many riddles l cannot remember,
With elaborate keys and diagram maps,
Are found in this scrap book, this sticky old
scrap-book,
This leathern-bound scrap-book that loves me
~ ,UalI
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1881-03-24
4 Story of Hancock.

A good story is told of gentleman
from Ashaway, R. L., who visited the
Inauguration. Between New York and
Philadelphia, while looking for seat,
he saw portly gentleman who had a
VIII ole seat to himself The Rhode Isl
Ander being thin man, thought there
was room for him, and squeezed in.
Soon conversation began. The Rhode
Islander said he was republican, and
thought last fall that it would not be
well for the country to have change,
but that he had brother who was a
democrat Soon the train stopped at a
station and the Rhode Island man
stepped to the platform and met an ac-
quaintance, who, after a little space, re
marked: General Hancock is on this
train, and as I am acquainted with
him, perhaps you would like an intro
duction." They entered the car and
approaching the portly gentleman Just
left, the Rhode Islander was introduced
to the General. With twinkle of the
eye, General Hancock said; II will
shake hands with you for your broth
er'S Ga lya ,;
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1881-03-24
The Pacific Ocean Freight War.

SAN FRANCISCO, March "a sharp
competition has broken out for the
China trade between the Pacific Mail
and the China Merchant Steamship
companies. The steamer Meefoo, the
second Of the latter line now in port,
offers to take flour at So per ton. The
Mail Company, it is reported, offers to
do it for one-half less. 1t is believed
here that the Chinese company is back
ed by the imperial government.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1881-03-24
IN A NUTSHELL.

Horace Maynard, who has a mode
rate income, proposes to retire to pri
yate life. - .--.s 81. - ] -
rs your wife democrat or a repub-
lican?' asked one citizen of another.
''She's neither. She's a home-ruler."
Wholesome and cheerful, but no
aggravated" is the New York descrip
ton of the tints and shades i'll spring
goods
A mine in the Tombstone district of
Arizona is named the Bob Ingersoll,"
lode.
Yale: College has been very much ex-
cited over rumor of smallpox among
the students, but nothing more serious
than arcase of yarioloid has been found,
Said a disgruntled old bachelor !:
MY friend led his wife to the altar,
but there his leadership came to an
end" r.-
Mrs. Batchelder, of Bangor, Me-, a
glib and persistent talker, has had her
husband arrested for attempting to pull
out her tongue.
A lady member of stranded Uncle
Tom party out IN Indiana writes back:
''The company is still alive and kick
ing-fOr salaries.
1t is proposed in London to erect a
statue of Carlyle on the Thames en-
bankment, opposite Cheyne row, and
to place bust of him in Westminster
Abbey.
The President and the members of
the Cabinet cannot be said to be rich
men. Mr. Blaine and Mr. MacVeagh
have more of this worlds goods than
the others.
The printed portraits of Secretary
Kirkwood, eff the Department of the
Interior. bear a strong resemblance to
those Of DR.. Tanner when he is in his
prime.
Senator Dawes" says a vivacious
correspondent, with his big face and
silvery hair, looks like precise Puri-
tan set in a semi-etherealiZed Dutch
mans skin"
John Griscom, a New York man, is
coming to Chicago to undertake a fast
of forty-fve days 1t will be under the
supervision Of the professors Of Rush
| meu1cal college,.
Attorney General Wayne MacVeagh
is to be invited to two public dinners
IN Philadelpia-one to be given by the
Unloun League and the other by per
sonal and political friends.
| Ex-senator Eaton, of Connecticut
has declined the formal entertainment
which his Democratic friends wished to
bestow upon him on his retirement
from public life.
The fifteen Indian girls at Mr.
Moody's seminary, at Mortified, Mass,
are said to rank high in their recita-
tons, and to surprise their teachers by
their intelligence.
There is a rumor in Paris that Count
Herbert Won Bismark, the Chancellor's
son, has eloped to Italy with a German
princess, wife Of a high official at the
court of Berlin.
A colored man was busily engaged
in saving some wood for a Galveston
| gentleman. The oman and broth er"
had large Masonic breastpin on his
shirt bosom. "Do you colored Masons
and white Masons affiliated" Don't
fillvate wuff cuss." "What's the
NATTER" Dunno, boss, but Use tried
it. Oar is barkeeper in dis town what
toted dis heah berry same emblem. L
was in distress; hadn't had dram all
dat morning. [ came in and gabe the
distress signal" 'Did he respond?''
''He didn't respond right. He made a
motion at de doah wild one hand and
reached under the bar. made de
sign once NOAH and he fetched me be-
tween the shoulders wild de bungstarter
jess as l was gettin' out de doah
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1881-03-24
Gen. John a, Logan.

Hero Of thelate war, and now .. s. Senator iron
Illinois, writes: ''Some years ago l was troubled
more or less with inflammatory rheumatism, and
have within the last year or so suffered intensely
with same disease. / began to take 'Durang:
Rheumatic Remedy and am thoroughly satisfied
that have been permanently cured by its use.
do not hesitate to recommendit to all sufferers.
This great Remedy has been before the public
six years. 1t is taken internally and never fails
to cure the worst case. Sold by every druggist in
Wisconsin and elsewhere. Write for 40-page
to r. X. HELPHENSTINE,
Druggist, Washington, d. C.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1881-03-24
Guard Against Disease.

If you find yourself getting bilious,
head heavy, mouth foul, eyes yellow,
kidneys disordered, symptoms of piles
tormenting you, take at once a few
doses OF Kidney-Word. 1t is natures
great assistant. Use it as an advance
guard-don't wait to get down sick.
See large advertisement.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1881-03-24
Fell Against a sharp Edge
Rockford Ill.) Register.

This is furnished by Mr.. VIM. Will,
1913 frankfort Ave-, Philadelphia, Pa:
Some time since l received a severe in
jury to my back, by falling against the
sharp edge of a marble step, the stone
penetrating 1t at least half-inch, and
leaving very painful wound. After
suffering for time, I concluded to ap-
ply st. Jacobs Oil, and am pleased to
say, that the results exceeded my ex-
pectations. 1t speedily allayed all pain
and swelling and by continued use,
made perfect cure. [ really think
it the most efficacious liniment I ever
used.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1881-03-24

'"Tis true, tits pity, land pity tbs, tits true :"
that too many sensible people regard
Coughs and Colds so indifferently. Dr.
Bulls Cough Syrup cures Coughs and
Colds and is only IS cents a bottle.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1881-03-24

A Gainesville (Ga.) man was made
as bald as an eagle the other day, the
hair-dye in his whiskers catching fire
from a cigar he smoked, sending the
flames kiting over his head as if it had
been dry prairie.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1881-03-24
Complicated Diseases.

A prominent gentleman in Cerro
Gordo County, Iowa, writes us that he
finds Kidney-Wort to be the best rene
dy he ever knew for complication OF
diseases. 1t is the specific action
which it has on the liver, kidneys and
bowels, which gives it such curative
power, and it is the thousands of cures
which it is performing which gives ii
its great celebrity. Liquid VERY con
centrated) or dry, both act efficiently
N. II. Journal and Courier.
Mr. Charles S. SWEET, of Chicago, ha:
been appointed private secretary tC
Secretary Lincoln.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1881-03-24

From all appearances JAMES MORGAN 1856, and
38S East Water ST., Milwaukee has the largest
trade in Embroidenes in the northwest and the
best assortment of first class Goods. He has just
opened large stock of Linens, &c.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1881-03-24
a famous sl1rpenn advises anne O

A famous surgeon advises one of his
patients to undergo an operation. "Is
it very severe?" asks the patient. 'Not
for the patient, says the doctor; "we
put him to sleep but very hard on the
operator" Chow so?" eve suffer
terribly from anxiety. Just think, it
only succeeds once in a hundred
times"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1881-03-24

Harvard COLLAGE Is to

Harvard college is to have a full
length portrait of ex-President Hayes
to be hung in Memorial hall by the
side of the pictures Of John Adam;
and John Quincy Adams.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1881-03-24

The son of wealthy New York mer-
chant recently lost $40, 900 at the gam.
bling table.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1881-03-24

DN not DPSnOnI.

Warmers Safe Kidney and Liver Cure
will drive off the worst attack of 'blues. "
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1881-03-24

Why suffer sleepless nights, with distressing
cough, while quarter of dollar invested ii
''Sellers' Cough Syrup" will give instant relief.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1881-03-24

Beelzebub became a subject of fire.
quent and dismal meditation with Lady
Curlew's husband, till at. last the re
formed creature consented to be elected
chairman Of different benevolent soci-
cites and to deliver edifying speeches.
After this he was invited to read a
paper at the Social Science Congress,
and his Annrogyna chose the subject
for him: Husbands and Wives; their
reciprocal duties, and the happy results
of mutual affection"
By this time Lady Curlew had quite
come round to the idea that differences
of age are of no consequence in@deter-
mining the conditions Of well-assorted
match. Marriage is, after all, chiefly a
union of hearts and souls. Now, her
own heart and soul were teeming with
youth, while these of her Birdie were
assuredly chastened with the sobriety
which should appertain to the husband.
Not only SC, but his body was less active
and lively than Androgyna's. She,
dear heart, had no aches or pains; she
trotted about, laughed, ruled her house
hold, and was quite the young wife all
over. But he, poor fellow, got an at
tack of govt, then his digestion went
out of order: he had to drink mineral
waters, but these made him worse, and
he was made to try a season at Carls.
bad, with Androgyna, of course, and
an awfully ugly old woman, who tray
eled as her maid, and assisted her in
nursing duties. At last there came a
day when Cashey felt his end approach
ing. The good tracts which his wife
gave him to read robbed him of all pro
fame desire to live.
Androgyna, dear, how long have
we been married?' he asked one day
sitting a mournful yawn, which must
have been expressive of mere physical
not mental, weakness.
Fifteen years, dearie," said Lady
Curlew, who did not suspect how
| serious her husbands condition was
"and do you know it seems to me but
a day"
eyes, only day." answered Cashey.
Barter with a sigh; "and daresay we
might be happy for twenty years more
like that"
He turned his face to the wall, and
with another sigh, breathed his last
The prospect of bliss just opened VI
had proved too much for him.-Lon
don Truth on the Berdett- Ctatts match.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1881-03-24
The Positive Cure
Slr MI those Painful Complaints and Weaknesses
go common o orr host female nnnu!atian.


SIr niI those Painful Complaints and Weaknesses
sOcOmmOn 10 our best female population.
It will cure entirely the worst form of Female Com
plants all ovarian troubles, Inflammation and Ulcera-
ton, Falling and Displacements and the consequent
Spinal Weakness and Is particularly adapted to the
Change OF Life.
10 viii dissolve and expel tuners from the uterus In
early stage Ct development The tendency to can
humoTs there is checked veryspeediy by its use
IL removes faintEcss iatulency, destroys all craving
for ST muants and relieves weakness OF the stomach
It cures Bloating, Headaches Nervous Prostitution,
General Debility, Sleepessness Depression and Indi-
Eestion.
Tla5 feeling of bearing down. causing pain, weight
and backache il always permanently cured by its
IL viii at all times and under all circumstances act in
harmony with the laws that govern the female system
Forthe cure of Kidney Complaints of either sex this
Compound is unsurpassed
LYDIA T.. PINkEAN'S VEGETABLE COM.
POUNDS prepared at 2}3 and 235 Western Avenue,
Lynn, Mass. Price 81 Six boolestor s.. Sent by mail
In the form Of pills. also in the form of lczenges,
receipts OF price, 81 per box for either. Mrs Pnham
freely answers ali letters of inquiry Send for panph
let. address above. Rclt;ol tins Paper.
No family should be without LY Ola T. piNKHAM'S
LIVER PILLS. They cure ecnsti2ation, bl;ousness
and torpidty Of the liz. - cents icr box,
EssR SALE ESY DRUGGISTS.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1881-03-24
IChambershureh pal Herald

After vainly spending five hundred
do4idrs for other remedies to relieve
my wife, l have no hesitation in de-
claring, that St. Jacobs Oil will cure
Neuralgia, says NJ. V. B. Helsom, Esq,
(of Pinkham & Hersom, Boston, Mass,
an enthusiastic indorser of its merits.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1881-03-24

Miss Kate Pridemore, talented
young authoress, residing in Sioux City,
Iowa, is lineal descendent of Addi-
son, the great English essayist.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1881-03-24

The use of Homeopathic Medicines in
Veterinary practice is steadily gaining
ground, and it has been fully demon
strated that all diseases of horses and
cattle, and especially the dreaded uleu-
ropneumonia, are readily amenable to
Homeopathic treatment. Veterinary
Homeopathic Medicine cases and
books, giving plain directions for their
use, can be obtained in all styles and
prices at Boericke & Tafel's Hommo.
pathic Pharmacy, 50 Clark ST., Chicago.
Send for Descriptive Price Current.
The fool buyeth an umbrella, but
the prudent man knOWeth a trick worth
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1881-03-24

LYDIA E. PINKHAM's Vegetable Com
pound doutless ranks first as curative
agent in all diseases of the provocative
system, degeneration Of the kidneys, ir-
ritation of the bladder, urinary calculi,
&C., &c. Send to Mrs Lydia E. Pink
ham, 233 Western Avenue, Lynn,
Mass, for pamphlets.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1881-03-24
WOrkiE gmen.

Before you begin your heavy spring
work after a winter of relaxation, vour
system needs cleansing and strengthen
ing to prevent an attack of Ague, Bill
ious or Spring Fever, or some other
Spring sickness that viii unfit you for
a seasons work. You will save time,
much sickness and great expense ii
you win use one bottle of Hop Bitters
in your family this month. Don't
wait.-Burlington Halrkeye. .-. ~
Rev. DIR. Philip Schaff, chairman OF
the Bible Revision committee, an
nounces, at New York, that the revised
new testament will be published by the
English University presses in May.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1881-03-24
"'Jes' Habin' Leetle Fun, Jedge."
From the n Y Telegram

'Jes' Habin' a Leetle Fun, Jedge."
From the n. Y. Telegram
Annie Robinson and Harriet Long,
dusky and saucy residents of the by
ways of the eighth ward, were to-day
risoners at the bar of the Jefferson
Market Police Court. When arrested
they were engaged in fierce combat.
Annie was cut on the forehead and
charged Harriet with stabbing her with
knife.
"What was the trouble between you
women p asked His Honor.
Muffin only leetle skylarkin'. We
didn't mean muffin; jes' habbin' a
leetIe fun, ledge" said Hattie.
Glow did you get that cut on your
forehead. Annie Robinson?" asked the
! Court.
"Dunno 'xactly. Guess 1 mus hab
scratched myself wifi pin. OATS all
right. [ amt got no complaint to
make" said Annie.
Didn't you charge Harriet Long
with stabbing you? ?" asked His Honor
II jes' said 50 fo' fun 'Twasn' hen
had de knife. [ guess it war Sally
said Annie.
"Who is sally?" asked the Court.
"Dunno her ODER name" said Annie,
laughing.
Have you no complaint to make
Harriet" asked the Court.
''No, sab. Her an me is ole fren's:
ledge, and [ wouldn't say muffin agir
her for nobody" said Harriet.
"Well, l will fine you each $40, and
commit you to the workhouse for one
month, in default of $500 bail for youl
good behavior" said the Court.
II wish I'd a knowed dat befo'; said
Annie, as she followed Harriet into the
prison. 4 hab yo' in de calaboose by
yoself TO- cuttin' me, you brack
fraud"
''Be keahful what yo' say, Missy, o
I'll strech fo' yo' right hyah an make
yo' brack carcass look like yo' wal
cotched in stawm oh railroad iron
G'long now, an doan yo' open ye' mont
to me again." replied Hattie, us Annie
led the way into the jail.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1881-04-07
Handling Doves as Treatment for In.
fam matory Rheumatism.

Recently has gone the rounds of news
papers IAN improbable story Of the
cure of a nervous, painful affec-
ton of rheumatic nature, by an old
tramp, who accomplished the wonder
full feat by passing and repassing the lit
tie chap several times over the back of
a jackass. This treatment was repeated
every day for nine days, during which
time it was observed that the animal
gradually became ill, while the child
improved, until at the end of nine days
the jack succumbed to swollen limbs
and body, and the child was completely
restored. The story, of course, was
not taken without salt, inasmuch as the
popular impression is that while child
or even a man would be perfectly cured
of all earthly ills by rubbing around the
vicinity of mules hind propellers, the
patient, for obvious reasons, wouldn't
be able to tell much about it afterward.
This case, however, is merely intro
ductory to brief allusion to cure which
was effected very similarly in the Four
teenth Ward recently. Some years ago q
coal. miner named Braun was afflicted so
bad within fiammatory rheumatism in his
hands and arms that he was compelled
to seek another way of earning his liv-
ing. Somewhere he learned that ham
ding doves would effect cure, and he
purchased number of the birds. These
he would take up in his hands, stroke
and play with daily, and the result was
that the pair he thus manipulated inva-
riably became swollen up, first in the
legs and then in the body, precisely as
though they had the rheumatism.
Finally death would ensue. In proper
ton as the doves became swollen Mr..
Braun's affection decreased, and finally,
after pursuing this strange treatment
for some time, he was able to keep him.
self wholly relieved from pain. He still
raises doves for the sacrifice, and winter
and summer alike he is able to pursue
his business as dairyman, q vocation he
took up in lieu of coal digging some
years ago.--Plks6urgh Chronicle.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1881-04-07

A turkeys claw u one 81 the new hat
ornaments.
Watered silks are not as popular IN
America ss in Paris.
a decided change in grenadines will
be made the coming season.
Insect jewelry is just at the moment a.
little in advance of the 9uadruped style
in popularity.
Little soft loose rings of hair falling
over the forehead are taking the place
of the long favored bangs.
High neck ruches of black lace and
white lace plated together are very fash
ionable and exceedingly becomipg.
A novel scarf pin represents q finy sill
yer mouse startling upon the edge 81 the
lid ora little gold kettle. apparently in
search OF the good things inside.
The new Scotch ginghams are very
brilliant in colOring, and the fabric is
unusually fine. They are as handsome
in appearance as the plaided silks of
last season. \
A growing eccentricity is the wearing
upon one arm of innumerable bangles
hung with charms Of every description,
and upon the other gold band of
massive thickness and prodisious size.
The latest style of bouquet is large
bunch of white hyacinths, into which is
set a crescent of crimson rosebuds. A
bridal bouquet has a crescent of tea
rosebuds set into a bouqet of white ilacs
and lilies Of the valley. ws~4 8
Combinations Of materials seem to be
as popular as ever, and spring costumes
will be composed partly of plain goods
and partly of brocade; but when two
fabrics are selected for dress they will
be generally chosen both of the same
color, unless for very dressy evening
toilets, the difference of texture produc-
ing sufficient variety. ~ z
$Rumor reaches , America that the
elegantes of Paris are going from one
extreme to the other in regard to the
shape Of the sleeve, and that as warm
weather approaches the very close-fit-
ting sleeve will, in measure at least,
give way to a full-fiowing one. The
"pagoda" and the "angel' sleeves are
to be worn, as we'll as the artistic Van
Dyke sleeve, and also the old-fashioned
t'leg o. mutton" Puffed sleevessar in
varied shapes, some with series of
narrow puffings which extend to the
wrist; others reach the elbow only, and
sometimes one large puff from shoulder
to elbow joint is worn. SleeveT dis
tendes are worn with the lego mutton
style.-N. Y. Post ~