davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1881-07-08
81 am yours truly,
"HEZEKIAH JONES,
Domestic Life in Spain.

Nowhere is the sentiment of home
stronger than in Spain. The Spanish
father is absolute king and lord by his
own heart stone, but his sway is so mild
and so readily acquicsced In that it is
hardly felt. The evils of tyranny are
rarely seen but by him who resists it,
and the Spanish family seldom call for
the harsh exercise of parental authority.
This is the rule 1 do not mean to
say that there are no exceptions. The
pride and jealousy inherent IN the race
make family quarrels, when they do
rise, the bitterest and the fercest in the
world. In every grade of life these VIM
dictive feuds among kindred are
seen from time to time. Twice at least
The steps of the throne have been sp ashed
with royal blood shed by priucely hands.
Duels between noble cousins and stab
blng affrays between pleasant brothers
alike attest the unhending sense of person
al dignity that still infects this people.
A light word between husbands and
wives sometimes goes unexplained, and
the rift between them widens through
life. l know some houses where the
wife enters ut one door, and the husband
ut thC iiiCCVoh thC
they DO not salute each other. Under
the same roof they have lived for years
and have not spoken. One word would
heal all discord, and that word will never
he spoken by either. They cannot be
divorced-the church is memorable.
They will not incur the scandal of
public separation. So they pass lives f
lonely isolation in adjoining apartments,
both thinking rather better of each other
and of themselves for this devilish per-
sistence.
An infraction of parental discipline is
never forgiven. Ikntw General whose
daughter fell in love with his Adjutant.
a clever and amiable young officer. He
had positively no objection to the sutton,
but was surprised that there was any
love making in his house without his
previous suggestion. He refused his
consent, and the young people were
married without it. The father and SON
in-law went off on campaign, fought,
and were wounded in the same battle.
The General was asked to recommend
his son in-law for promotion. 81 have
no son-in-law! /" Il mean your daughters
husband. 81 have no daughter" 81
refer to Lieut.. Don Fulano de Tai.
He is good officer. He distinguished
himself greatly in the recent affair. 1"
"Ah otra cosa !" said the grim father-in-
law. His hate could not overcome his
sense of justice. The youth got his
promotion, but his General willnotrecog-
nize him at the club.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1881-07-08
Then and Now.

There are those who, like q class in
Solomon's day, affirm, with mournful
emphasis, "that the former DAYS were
better than these" 1t is q foolish az
frmation, sincerely but ignOrantly made
by persons unacquainted with "the for
mer days."
No Christian church would now listen
to minister who preached on Sunday
and ran a distillery during the secular
days. Yet Hartford church, toward
the close of the last century, had for its
pastor distiller of gin.
The distillery was carried on under
the name of Strong & Smith. The firm
failed, and the minister, to avoid the
Sheriff, shut himself up in his house.
He went forth on Sundays, as no writ
could be served on that day, and preached
to his congregation.
He was esteemed an eloquent and de-
vout preacher, and his people loved him.
A few, however, would occasionally
venture to say that he ought never to
leave the pulpit, while, here and there,
one would be found bold enough to init
mate trat he ought never to enter 1T.
This minister once issued prospectus
IOT ~ NOluIlc VI anu JtiSb ilLcI
met Trumbull, the poet, who was an
irregular attendant at church.
when will your sermons be out?"
asked the poet.
81 cannot exactly tell, replied the
doctor. 81 am waiting to find text to
suit man who never comes to church.
except when he has child to be bap-
TIED.
The celebrated pulpit orator, John NJ
Mason, of New York, once called on this
divine. AS he was leaving, he stumbled
Oh defective doorstep and almost fell
why don't you mend your ways?'
said the orator.
81 was waiting for Mason" replied
the clerical wit.
Let those who deny that society, or
even the church, has made progress, re-
fleet that no distiller of gin. even if he
combined the oratoric Il gifts Of White
field and Hall, could now be pastor of
the humblest church in New England -
Youths Companion.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1881-07-08

Mr.. Monkeys boy took the family cat
and rubbed phosphorus all over him. 1t
was about nightfall when he completed
the job aud let the cat go. The cat got
into barrel and began to yowl, and
that attracted the attention of bull
dog, and he came along and danced
about and barked, and got terribly ex-
cited. 1t was case of dog in the light,
cat in the shadder, dog full of fight, cat
growing madden" Pretty soon the dog
upset the barrel and went in after the
cat But it was surprise party for him.
The phosphorus glowed in the darkness
and he beheld cat on fire. He came
out of that barrel and went off bowling
as though policeman had stepped on
him.
Then the cat went up on the roofs.
where other cats do congregate. and
tried to chum round with EN-. But it
was no go. They fled from him as if it
was bootjack. He didn't understand
it and gave chase, and as there we're
about forty cats on those roofs, and they
were all scared and fed from him, howl
ing dismally, the noise was something
fearful, SO that folks in the vicinity who
heard it were scared and had cold sweats.
The cats continued to tear about and
yell so that it couldn't be endured. Mr..
Monkey and others got up and went upon
the roofs with clubs. Aud mt first the
sight of a fiery cat frightened them, and
one lady who saw it screamed and fell
through skylight and nearly killed
man sleeping beneath it, and made him
think Mother Shipton was right. Final
ly, Mr.. Monkey and his friends made a
desperate charge on the fiery cat, and
the poor cat took a flying leap to the
street.
He hit on policeman. saving his life,
but nearly soaring the officer out of his,
as he thought he was struck by light
ming. The cat jumped to the ground,
and an astronomer came along and took
him for an aerolite and tried to pick him
up. To his amazement, the aeroite ran.
Then he was scared too. Finally the cat
got into stable, aud somebody thought
it was afire, and they called out the en-
CINE, and got seven streams turned on
him. He fought we'll, but they fixed
him. And then investigation showed no
fire, but only dead cat. And they told
the stableman he was q cross-eyed fool
to mistake a cat eyes for q fire, and SO
they left him. All the neighbors are
talking of the mysterious fiery cat, and
only young Monkey understands It's mys-
tery-Rco'~-, ~ -
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1881-07-08
A Spiders Intelligence.

Almost all spiders leave cable be-
hind as they travel from point TO point.
The common geometric spider (epeira
diaden,a) shoots out lines with great
facility, as correspondent found out
one day. He says: lone day, when
holding an epeira suspended to nv
finger by its cable, 1T disappeared as If
by magic. To discover its mocus Oper-
andi, tried another in bright sunlight,
and observed that while it was hanging
thus suspended and perfectly motionless
it was shooting out threads IN various
directions. These threads foated on,
spreading out into three or four radii,
and covering about sixty degrees, but
all in common direction. At length
one came i'll contact with post and ad-
hered to it. AS soon as the spider found
that one of the cables had found an an
chorage, it cut the one by which l held
it captive, ran up this cable of hope, and
regained its liberty
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1881-07-08
Holding the Fort.

A wealthy lady, who had passed the
middle age without marrying, one day
took upon herself husband. 20 the
great surprise of her friends. When
the excitement occasioned by the event
had partially subsidized, neighbor vent
tured to ask an explanation of the unex-
.'ected freak, and received the following
reply GO You see, keep large house,
and employed five servant-girls. j con-
tended against them single-handed for n
long time, but finally realized that il
wished to retain possession of my home
would have to call in peinforcements.
John had served in the army, under
stood tactics and was cool and brave,
and so L married him. Two of the
girls were discharged, and now the
thing Is evener than it used TO be. We
mean to hold the fort or die"
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1881-07-08
NOblemen as Walters.

A story is afioat to the effect that a
foreign authoress who went to Del
monico's uptown restaurant to dine
found that the waiter who came forward
to wait upon her was her own brother.
The item was shown 10 the manager mt
Delmonicos S, and he was asked if there
were any truth In it. He shook his
head and smiled.
Every now and then" he said,
"some story of the kind Is set afoat
Generally, however, il is about waiter
who is nobleman.
Is it not a fact that occasionally you
have nobleman among you?"
at is not at all unlikely. There are
plenty of noblemen abroad who are very
poor, and sometimes are hard put to it
tor good meal. In such cases they
often drop their titles. II they come to
this country, why should they not work
ut waiting as well as any other business
Then there are fast young nOblemen
who run through their means and emf
CRATE. They have not been brought up
to any business they are unacquainted
with the ways of American life. But
they know about table service, and a
Job as waiter is the thing they are best
fitted for. Noblemen are not scarce In
the Old World. In Germany the title
goes to all of the sons of nobleman. /
have no doubt there are noblemen jerk
ing beer in the Bowery. We have had
noblemen occasionally among our corps
of walters. There is nothing surprising
in it. We see men-merchants, brokers,
etc.-who make great deal of money.
They live fast, spend freely, and make a
big figure in the world for time, and
then comes smash, and they disap-
pear. Perhaps we may afterward hear
of them working in mine or herding
cattle on the plains. There is nothing
to surprise any one in finding that the
waiter who takes your order is a Baron
or n Count. "-NeW York Sun.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1881-07-08
BITS OF INFORMATION.

An elephant does not attain his full
growth until he is 16 or Is years old.
SNArLs have been put in boiling water
and nave survived the terrible ordeal.
THE VOLTS sense OF smelling is pecul-
iarly strong He can smell carricn the
distance of nearly q mile.
FouR-FIFTHs of the animals on tho
globe, or poo, 900 species, belong to the
rineed and jointed-footed animals, and
of these 10000 are the six-legged in
sects.
The coral insect deposits in its body
particles of lime, and when 1t dies liz
body washes away and leaves Its skele-
ton-the wonderful formation known as
coral-behind.
EXPOSURE of hot steel to cold surface
renders it hard. This is usually done
Ivy dipping the red hot metal in water,
though other cold surfaces which arc
rapid conductors will answer the same
purpose.
In Holland the preservation OF the
woodwork of drawbridges, siuices, gates
and other VOL ks is conduced by the
application of mixture OF pitch and tar,
WucTeOu dTc StItWu POuuttc0 ohC1Aop VIII
mixture of sea sand.
WHEN rivers are much warmer than
the air they give rise to fogs, because
the rapid evaporation from the warm
water pours more water into the atmOs-
phere than it can hold suspended in an
invisible state, and consequently the
surplus vapor is condensed into mistAby
the colder air into which it rises. There
are conditions of atmosphere when no
actual fog is apparent in which darkness
prevails, and what are called dry fog, or
sometimes blight. In some cases they
are clearly due to smoke, rs, for instance,
the smoke of burning prairies, which
may extend over vast distances.
The waters of the ocean are found to
be of au almost uniform sadness. the
proportion OF salt being OF per cent,
which gives a pOundsOf salt (abOut) to
every four gallons of water. The guam
tity OF saline ingredients contained in
amounts to four hundred thousand bill
ions OF cubic feet, which, if piled up,
would form mass 40 miles long, ns
many broad aud as many high-or,
9th, rWise disposed, it wonid cover the
whole of Eu.op islands, seas and all,
to the height Of the summit of Mount
Blanc, winch is about Is, 900 feet.
THAT the Mississippi may deservedly
be called the Father of Waters the
following data will show: Quantity of
water discharged by that river annually,
IA, SS3 800, 633, $50 cubic feet; quantity
of sediment discharged annually, %,
1873, 0S3, 1872 cubic feet area of the delta
of the river, according to Lyells esti-
mate. ID, 900 square miles, and depth of
the same, as calculated by Prof. Rid
dell. 1855 feet. The delta, consequent
ly, as appears from these figures, con-
tains 4OO, 1878, 429, 440, 900 cubic feet, or
2,720 cubic miles, and it would require
for the formation, therefore, of one cubic
mile Of delta five years and eighty -one
days-for the formation of one square
mile, of the depth Of 1,056 feet, one
year sixteen and one-tifth days, and for
the formation of the whole delta a.
2OS 4-5 years.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1881-07-08

inch in dismeter. short and thick, resem-.
b ng omespecies ofgrub. Each is inca Cd
In ~ very neat little shell of silicious
material, corrugated and firm, OF a
blush cast, like silver ore, with small
round spots, having a metallic luster.
At his forward end appears vicious
looking little head, and six legs or feelers
capable of being easily folded when he
draws back into his shell. On top OF his
head is small helmet or cover. Of the
same material AZ the shell, 80 that when
he hauls in for snooze or self-protection
his top piece or helmet just closes the
hole nicely. Why this hard shell cover
ing or protective armor, or how it is that
these very peculiar worms are foundalive
at such depth in virgin ground, is. not
easy of explanation. Their presence can
be accounted for on the score of some
deep crack or disturbance of the earth
at some time, yet what they are doing
there and what supports them is a mys-
terry, for the clay is no way rich, though
it is wormy. They certainly are great
natural curiosity.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1881-07-08

only want to take notice of local affairs.
and let all the miscellaneous aud general
business CO." and-tlIen Jones gave the
old fellow "a receipt and rushed back and
took out all the miscellaneous and gen.
eral matter that was left, and as he took
out the last handful friend came
through the office and critically examin-
ing his surroundings, said, 1.-The Flap
doodle is a good paper, Jones, but l do
think you have the ugliest head on it J
ever saw. Why don't you change it?
I'm certain never would let such head
appear on paper of mine" "All
right" said Jones. and off came the
head. "Now, Mr.. Foreman" he con-
tinued, clock up the forms and send
them down to the press ROOM" The
forms were duly locked and went down,
and the paper came out and was dis
trbuted as usual The next morning,
the politician, aud the solemn man,
the FRIEND the school girl, the woman,
the small boy, and all the rest Of
them were standing around the Flap
doodle Office with blank sheets of paper
in their hands; not line, not word,
not sign of anything ON it but column
rules, with nothing between. "How is
this?" said each to the other, ''and
where's that fool editor, to impose on us
in this way 2" While they were thus
talking, the devil came in with letter
from the editor, which tile old man read
to the crowd. 1t ran rs follows
Dear friends, you all think yor,
know how to run newspaper, and when
you come TO me with your suggestions
hate to tell you differently, so have fol-
lowed your advice and you see what you
have as the result. If you will be kind
enough to mind your own business half
as we'll as I do mine. and try to think
l know little something, while you
don't know it all, 1 will give you a good
newspaper, and whenever I don't give
you your moneys worth, then come and
tell me so, but don't come telling me
howl should do my work, when have
devoted years to it, and you have never
given it an hours study.
81 am yours truly,
''HEzEKIAH JONES,
editor Fyapdoodle.
Then these good people looked at
their blank paper and their blank faces,
and not one said word except the pro-
fame man, who remarked, "Damme, the
editor is right; let's go and mind our
own business" and Jones crept out from
behind the counter, and that evening
issued tip. top paper, chuck full of all
sorts of personal and local items, and
news, and everything, and there was
peace in that town for the space Of o
long time.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1881-07-08
Worms 800 Feet Under Ground.

The Gold Hill (Nevada) Ne,rs reports
the discovery of queer species of worms
in the face of the Lord Lorne mine, near
Lover Gold Hill. The worms occur in
a solid stratum of stiff clay, 700 feet
from the mouth Of the tunnel, aud 800
feet below the surface of the earth, amid
the vein matter of that portion of the
Comstock. Superintendent McDougal
found quite n number of them 10y soaking
aud washing the clay. and they are no
defunct relics of antediIuvian times, but
are all alive and kicking, incredible a.
it may appear. These queer little sub
tarranean worms are about three-Quar-
ters ofan inch long by about an eighth of an
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1881-07-08
He Didn't Catch On.

He was tender-foot, new TO the WILD
scenes smong the Bushmen of Nebraska,
and when the rancher slapped him on
the shoulder and asked him if he would
''irrigate," he said.
"What.
''Moisten yor larynx."
"Howp
"Smile?"
81 don't catch your reference"
"Drive another nail ?"
"You have the advantage"
''Try some of the hair OF the dog which
bit you"
81 cannot grasp"
''N, mi late your poison.
"My poison!"
"Crook your elbow?"
"I'm in the dark.
''Test the tipplc?"
'Dou't-"
''Cnt the phlesm ?"
"The-"
Sample ?"
Sample what?"
paint your nose?"
"Paiat my nosel"
Take some whisky-gin-cog nac-
drink something strong with me You
don't seem to catch onto no kind of q
hint Won't drink some whisky and
sugar ?"--Centrot city (Ncb) Item
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1881-07-08
Profit i'm Black Walnuts.

The smartest Texan, and, in fact. the
smartest farmer, / have ever met, is old
Sim Graves, who lives on a zoo. acre
farm west of Waxahatchie, in Central
Texas. After Mr.. Graves had shown me
his cattle and cotton, he took me over TO
see his woods.
"Wel., what of its?' / said, as he
pointed to ten-acre forest.
as What of it?' Why, them's black
walnuts, sir. Ten acres of 'em.
Planted 'em myself ten years ago See.
they're nine inches through. Good trees.
ell ?"
And sure enough there were ten
acres of hand Ianted black walnut
trees. They stood about twelve feet
apart, 200 to the acre - in all 1000
trees.
"Well, how did you get your money
back ?" 1 asked.
Black walnuts are worth $3.50 q
bushel, amt they? Ill get 400 bushels
this year. That's $1,000. A hundred
dollars an acre is good rent for land
worth S15 an acre, amt it"
"Well, what else ?" inquired, grow
ing interested.
"The trees, continued Mr.. Graves,
ARE growing an inch year. When
they are 20 years old they will be nine
teen inches through. A black walnut
tree nineteen inches through is worth
S25. My 1000 trees ten years from
now will be worth $4,000. If I don't
want to cut them all, can cut half Of
them and then raise bushel of walnuts
to the tree-that is, get $500 year
for the crop. Two hundred and fifty
dollars an acre is fair rent for S15 land,
amt it ?"-Letter from San antonio,
Tea;as.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1881-07-08

He went from the old home hearthstone,
Only six years 40.
A Iaugiiug, irolickipg fellow,
IL would do you good To know.
Since then We have not see him,
And we sly, with ramelcss pain,
The boy that we know aud loved so
We shall never see again.
One bearing the nsme we gave him
Comes bOUe To us to-day,
Bat this Is not the dear fellow
We kIsse and sent awav.
Tall as the man he calls IA her,
With mans look In his face,
IL he who takes by the hearthstone
Tho lost boys Olden place.
We miss the laugh that made music
Wherever the i,sst bov went,
This m Al mas smile m s. winsome,
Ills eyes have grave intent;
We know he Ii thihk;ug and planning
His way In the world of men,
And we cannot help hut love him,
But We long for our boy again.
We are proud OF this manly fellow
Who comes 10 take his place. 49,
With hints Of the vanished boyhood
In his earne 4, thoughtful face;
And yet conies back the logging
For the bov We henceforth must miss.
Whom we sent away from the hearthstone
Forever with kiss.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1881-07-08
Put On No FrilIs.

"We can give you the best O. recon.
mends," said the landlady to the appli-
cant for board, "and we allus requires
'em in return from our dodgers. We're
first-class here, heightened, and none
others need apply. Now. if you'll Just
sqrint your eye outer that air winder
and take look at them clothes hangin'
on the lise in the back yard, you'll see
ain putin on no frills.' BROOKLYN En-
fy/o
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1881-07-08

WHEN boy walks with a girl as
though he were afraid some one would
see him, the girl is his sister. If he
walks so close to her as to nearly crowd
her against the fence, she II the sister of
some one else
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1881-07-08

CONSISTENCY, thou art q jewel T.
Some men will ride ten miles or more
in dirty or close smoking-car on q rail-
road, and be happy; but the same men,
ii they have only half dozen blocks to
go in a horse-car, will open all the ven
tilators and howl for air, without regard
to the feelings of ali the other passen-
gers.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1881-07-08

the glass and tells the footman another
time not to let those disgusting people
stand at her door.-Lddy Stonhope.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1881-11-02
Gloucester Sailors.

The following is an extract from
g Around Cape Ann" by Hiram Rich,
in the first number of The Century
Magazine.
Six sl0ops, one boat, and one shallop
composed the Cape Ann fleet in 1893;
now it has nearly five hundred sail, of
almost twenty EIGHT thousand tons and
Gloucester is the largest fishing port in
the land. It's feet is manned by men of
every Cline A tide of young men main
ward this port. Many have the charac-
teristic recklessness of the sailor, and
earnings of weeks are spent between
sunset and sunrise. There is among
them no sailor cut OF clothes, and ashore
they follow the prevailing fashions,
down to lager beer. All haunts are
prepared for Jack, and he is prepared
for ali haunts. AS in all other callings,
thrift follows prudence and industry,
though he seems to lie open to the
changes and chances OF luck. You will
see his cottage commanding the finest
sea view, for on the heights lie the
cheapest lots. Alas that the waiting
wife can also look harborward on every
coming sail, often to see the flag "half
mast for whom?
Here are no labor strikes. The sailor
brings in fare of fish, perhaps all he
has caught, by themselves; they are
weighed off, the vessel is put to rights,
and he goes up to the counting-room for
his check. The whole value of the fish
is reckonel by the vessel-owner or his
clerk; then is deducted cost of ice and
bait bought; then, one-quarter of one
per cent. for the Widows and Orphans
Fund, one half the remainder belongs
to the owner, the other to him. From
his part is deducted charges for wood
saving and splitting, for water, medicine
chest, condensed milk, and any charge
for labor on the vessel which belonged
to him to do, but which has been hired
done. His check is then handed him,
and he presents it in person, or it finds
its devious way to the bank by other
perhaps not cleaner-hands.