The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1881-12-31
HOW WE TOOK A loARDER.

Now our house is quite large one,
and, beside those apartt1&hts which
we occupy ourselves and lose which
we dedicate to our guests, Hhere is a
very nice little room on tke second
floor. which we never use I'd very
seldom enter. &
| One morning. when hapned to
feel in d Perry economical nnf0. ] be-
thought myself that. were thia room
| furnished pfettily, we might jnst as
we'll as not take boarder1 there
were such numbers ofadvertiserifRnts
In the papers for just such plaees
So many single ladies wished "boartl
in private family where no other
boarders we're taken," and SO many
single gentlemen pined for Com.
forts Of a home.n that I haflenf
0ouUt we coufd SUIT ourselves e..
actly.
Accordingly / broached the SUBJ
ject to Psalter at the table that very
evening. Psalter only laughed at
first, but when he found that 1 was
in earnest. acquiesced in the arrange
ment, merely stipulating that neith-
er maiden lady nor "gentleman and
his wife" were to become inhabitants
of the apartment. Consequently my
choice was limited. A single gen.
tleman must haye, and l was de-
termined to be very particular about
him. l consider myself a pretty
good judge of character. and l re-
solved to select an intellectual, moral
and wellmannered person, or to give
up the idea altogether.
Tuesday and Wednesday passed
without any answer. Thursday
brought "a young man belonging to Il
fire company, who stipulated that
the members of his machine" should
he allowed the privilege of meeting
in my parlor once week, as their
engine house was out of order, and
likewise mentioned that he always,
in the morning. took brandy instead
of mi X in his coffee.
/ To this gentleman's proposals /
was obliged to answer in the mega
tive, and, on his pressing the point.
to inform him that the reception of
the engine company would of itself
be an insuperable obstacle. did
not think it prudent to add that his
appearance and conversation did not
| tend to make me desirous of his so
1 ciety. Although thought Sc. bas-
ed my objection altogether upon the
! fire company's expectation of meet
ing in my parlors.
had said enough to offend my
visitor, however, for he thrust his
head forward turtle fashion, and re-
marked that | had better not "say
anything agin No. 240," and that 1
might be ''hopping glad to haye 'em
meet in my parlor, for-for all 1
| thought myself some punkins, l was
only small pertatures," and that
mo. 240 boys were fine fellers, and
! I'd better not contradict him
sa-ay !" and departed, leaving an
odor of bad cigars and stale whiskey
behind him.
My next applicant was maiden
| lady, who desired accommodations
| for herself, a parrot, kitten, two
poodles, IA monkey, and cabinet of
n,ineralogical specimens. Of course
she did not suit me. especially as she
was very particular in her inquiries
as to my servant girls capabiity of
washing and attending upon poodes
and parrots.
Closely following upon her heels
came a gentleman of respectable aI-
pearance aud PLAUSIBLE address,, with
whom, in spite ofa pair of very wild,
singular eyes. which protruded be-
ynnd the lids until they appeared
about to drop out into his cheeks, l
was nightly taken. In fact. the ar
raDgement were nearly concluded,
when, to my horror, l made the dis
covery that he was professor of
sDirituali-m, and speaking and
singing medium likewise, my eyes
were opened at once to the singulsr-
ity of the gentIeman's eyes by this
confession, and became aware that
the nearest insane asylum would, in
all probability, suit him far better
than my humble dwelling. So. with
an inward thanksgiving for my res
cue, got out of the scrape as polite
ly as possible, and the medium"
departed.
Then arrived three very untidy
men, who wanted to share the apart
ment, and receive sholars on the vio
lincellO therein.
After these had departed, declare
I was quite out Of patience, and al
most resolved to give up my Dota
BILE idea altogether; but, just as l
| had oO,va IN thio roSoluftfAn I bo arA