The Dillon tribune., 1881-07-30
W 4 l r


There can certainl. be no more ve>otiou>
situation IN Ii.t than to sit down 10 writ, :n
original article aud find tina, sOmeboi. else
has stolen voui scissors and n,cila.c-
Boston Transcript.
Nine years ago Boston coal dealer
making Il mistake IN change, give a poor
wo,,,a II trn-aollar hill instead OF Il one.
Returning the amount the other day, she
said that she tried to save il and now her
conscience was easy. lie sent her ton OF
coal for her honesty.
Mr.. rtmelvtopic and Mr.. Verybu~y met
on the street, and after few minutes con.
vcrsation on business matters, Mr.. Timely.
topic asked Mr.. Vcrvb,sv IL he had seen
| the comet vet, and was very much sur.
pri.cd when the latter replied that he had
| not, rs he had been out Of town couple
| oi weeks.
Dr. Wcissc has been shooting at dead bod.
les tO find out where the hall lodged in the
| Presidents case, hut DR.. Bliss says that
shooting 1t dead bt,dics 10 A,,d the effect Il
would have on live ones IL absurd. An
opinion Is that neither knows much about
Il. lt's the old story, "Where Ignorance Is
Bliss, It's folly 10 Wci.se."
It Is a British maxim that the King can
hO no wrong" The first time II. r.
II. the Prince Of Wales heard this, he
made up his mind NOT to neglect any or.
lx,rtunity to put IN his time to the best ad.
vantage before ascending the throne. It Il
believed that he has been ALWAYS true IN
his early resolve.
A prize show Of parrots was held In the
north of England. After many others had
heen brought forward in front Ct the
judges, one bird, on having its cover re-.
moved, won the prize BY reclamation.
Looking around on the company In which
| It had been 80 suddenly introduced, it ex.
claimed, "By Jove! what lot Of parrots! r.
The great excitement among the school.
children Of New Haven just now h vac.
cination. ''Sec here, my little man." said
the attending physician, "you were vac.
cinatcd yesterday" What did you 20 ne
again to-day for:" "Oh." and lie .hutiiesi
his tn. around on the tios,r, II wanted to
hear the girls scrccch."-New Haven
Register.
A member Of the late unlnmcnted Leg.
islaturc ": 3 called m the witness stand In
civil suit not long since. lie did not pay
much attention to the questions that
were asked him, 50 the Judge spoke up
and said: MIR. Blank, YOU will please pay
attention to what you are saying. Re.
member, you are not in the Legislature at
present."-Iexas Siitinys.
When correspondent begins his letter
with "Mr. Editor: Since my last, nothing
worthy ot note has transpired here" the
chances are ten TO one that he will con.
tinuc to the extent OF nearly column 10
prove that nothing really did happen
worthy OF note, and We wonder the editor
permitted him to waste so much space IN
noting it.--Norri>town Herald.
No prettier compliment can be given
than that which come from the warm heart
and quick wit Ofthc true llibernian. Mike
was laying pavement brick in the hot sun,
and the lady Of the house mixed up q nice
cool drink and carried it out to quench his
thirst. After iong. drawn "swig" he wiped
his r,Outl, on his sleeve and Aaid. "Yell
be IN heaven siven years before the divil II
find It out."-Ncw Haven Register.
\ Baltimore conductor had just signaleti
tor his train to start, when woman rushed
down street, dragging little girl BY one
arm. lie waved his hand 10 arrest the
train and assisted the woman to get up on
the car, and US he WAS ahs,nt 10 star, the
train again he noticed the woman and her
little charge getting out. Eiurrying to the
spot where she was alighting he asked what
was the matter, and the woman replied
quite noncha'antly, that her little girl
"wanted to kiss her papa before he LETT"
1t always produces queer kind Of sen.
sation To meet Il lady relative or friend
after an absence Of ten or fifteen wears
fnn look ut her and think ".icar. dear,
what change to he sure, what an old
lo"k'n. hen she has grown 10 he" And
she looks at you md thinks swell. we'll.
and the pNigv, h'lt.hs;n.e>, old rooster !,
all that Is lett of M, handsome Jim. Dick.
I'LL. or whatever your hideou> name ma,
l@' Then YOU both rxclaim with on,
breath: "Whv. how we'll you're locking:
not dav ol.inr.' What liars we ,ncr:al>
arc.-New York C"m"rr,.;rl .Adver,;,.r.