The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1881-06-03
ITO be Continued
Hash.

HaSns
Noah sailed in the ark for re-crea-
ton.
A twelve-years-ol Jersey COW was
sold in New York for $4,000.
Mother Shipton's prophecy seems TO
haye struck deadlock somewhere.
Two Cincinnati girls have thrashed a
lawyer who had DETAINED them in
court.
The cannibals in Burmah have decid
ed that Maine greenbacker is legal
tender.
A dogs tail is the greatest novelty of
the age. Why? Because no one ever
saw il. before.
The world is so ungrateful that II.
Conkling says he shall never make an
other. = Elmira Press.
"Sam, why am de hogs the most in
telligent folks in de,world?" "Because
they nose everything"
A fashion item says "bugs of all sorts
aud sizes appear ON spring bonnets."
Some spring beds are similarly Attic
ted.
Mrs. Senator Malone has twice been
the mother of triplets. No wonder her
husband is readjuster.
A Connecticut man announces that
he can play sixteen musical instruments
at once. But he will do we'll not to
prove it.
"what happy hours, sweet, spend"
He signs, "alone with thee"
cts all, !" she says. ",you ever spend"-
"Good EVENING" then says he.-lEx.
A little five year old, hearing his
father say that certain man was not
able TO ''keep the wolf from his door,"
wanted to know why the man didn't
shoot 1t.
A fashionable married couple, whose
drawing room is adorned with hand
some motto of "There's No Place Like
Home," have just started on trip to
Europe, to be absent three years.
1t is reported that Colonel Fred
Grants retirement from the army has
completely upset every tribe of Indians.
With pale faces and quivcring lips they
ask: "Wbat nextr'-[Detroit Free
Press.
Ornithology in Washington: ''Papa,
have the qnails Gomez" al haven't seen
any. Why do You ask 2" 81 thought
heard one whistle" go pshaw-that
was only Mr.. Conkling whistling for his
little Platt.
Reports received by the agricultural
department of Ohio show that the num-
Der of hogs raised in the state during
the year has decreased about twenty
per cent, which shows the government
offices must all be filled.
A few days ago Chester, Pa, editor
put on vest which he had laid away
last summey and in one of the pockets
he found roll of notes amounting in
all TO twenty dollars. 1t is hardly nee
essary to state that the editor was not
married man,
"The Germans are frugal people"
says an American writer, after visiting
the Berlin opera house. GAS soon as
the opera was over, the man in front
took wads of cotton from his pocket,
and stopped up his ears TO save the
music he had paid for.
About the meanest thing was done at
lKeokuk, Ia, the otherday, by the heirs
loi the Magoun estate, who got together
and settled their differences. The es-
tate is worth fully $4,000, and the
lawyers had only got S14,500 of 1t. Il
is believed there has been trickery.-
(Peck's Milwaukee Sun.
| A young man with an umbrella over
took an unprotected lady acquaintanc
! in rain storm, extending his umbrell
| over her, requested the pleasure of &C
! Ing as her rain-beau. "Oh," exclaiu
, cd the young lady, taking his aru
"you wish me TO he Your rain- dear.
Two souls with but q single umbrell
wo forms that stepped as one.