The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1881-06-02
PLEASANIRHH.

People.
PLEASANTRIES.
The syllable cleo" in oleomargarine
means that it is strong as lion.
The fellow who was much struck by a
young lady wanted to return a kiss fol-
the blow.
FRANKLIN has Ben jamin his philos.
ophy into everybody ever since we can
remember
The evening had been convivial.
"And now, gentlemen" said the Chair
man, I'm protose post"
WHY does the new moon remind one
OF giddy girl? Because she is too
young to show much reflection.
MOTTO Of the good collector-Never
put off until tomorrow what can be
dunned o-day.-PAiladezphia CAron-
icle.
RAVENS fed the prophet Elijah in an.
clent days, but golden eagles feed the
prophets of the present day. Whitehall
Times.
BrEcHER says, eve pray too much.
This explains why the average news
paper mans breeches always bag at the
knees.
A BROOKLYN fashion paper stated that
"maiden's blush" was fashionable
color, and none of the readers had any
idea what it was like.
SEVERAL notable happy marriages
have been made on two hours courtship,
but it is pretty safe rule to know the
girl for at least three days and a picnic.
"Now, SAMMY, have you read the
story of Joseph?" "Oh, yes, uncle"
"Well, then, what wrong did they do
when they sold their brother?" "They
sold him too cheap"
A Boston young lady, who moved to
a.certain Wisconsin town, is disappoint-
ed to find that the young men of whom
,he is most Fond-du-Lac culture, and
she is going back.-Cincinnat Satur.
day Night.
IT would never do to select women to
office. If female Sheriff should WISH
the residence of handsome man and
explain to his wife that she had an at
tachment for him, there would be va
cancy in the Office in about two minutes.
"a SCIENTIST named Mivart will soon
issue work on the cat" says the New
Haven Register: We've done that al
ready. 1t was heavy copy Of Shak-
speare's plays, and we issued it from a
thrid'story window, and it took her
right between the two shoulders, and we
hope it broke her blamed back.-Boston
Post.
PArERSA1 wisdom : "Pa, what is en-
silage?" Why-h'm-en silage, my
son, is-un--ensilage is-oh, something
like mucilage, my son something like
mucilage used to stick things together,
you know. There, now, run away to
your play, and don't disturb me now"
And that boy thinks his pa is very en-
cyclopadia of wisdom.
The teacher had grown eloquent in
picturing to his little pupils the beau
ties of heaven, and he finally asked !:
"What kind Of little boys go to heav-
en?" A lively 4-year-old boy. with
kicking boots, fourished his fist. "Well,
you may answer" said the teacher.
"Dead ones !" the little fellow shouted,
at the extent of his lungs.
''DRUNK again, eh ?" said the magis-
trate, contracting his brows and looking
severely at the prisoner. "Yis, yer
Honor" candidly returned Pat "I was
after splittin' wood at yer Honor's house,
and the lady asked me wud I take sutli~
in. 4 will,' says I, and I took two
glasses, but if had known yer Honor
kept such bad liquor, 'pon me sowl, I
wuldn't have TUX but wan"
my wife got mad-terribly mad
at me last night" said Ragbag: "she
threatened to leave me and sue for a d.
vorce, and, by Jove! I was awfuly
scared, for think she meant it. But I
had presence of mind. I said I hoped
she would begged, inoplored her to do
SO, and then she swore she'd cling tome
till death, just to spite me. A woman is
durn curious critter to manage, any
way"