Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1881-01-27

nOuIn Rock, uon you! Got any more
old landmarks that need Inspections"
IL don't care" demonstrated Mrs
SpooPendyke, Indignantly; they're nice
people, and | like to cultivate them.
They may be alone in life, but they can't
help it,
Cultivate 'em if you want to-" grOwl-
ed Mr.. SpoOpenke; "but if yon think I'm
going hoeIng around among 'em on the
! first of January, you're left. What dye
want 10 cultivate 'em for? With your
friends and IDEAS you only need weekly
prayers and an alarm Of fire to be an old
woman's home. Who else have you got
here? Mrs, SliggOnspratt, Mrs. WOp-
ienslOugh. Miss kimpzf-"
You don't read them right at all,
complained Mrs. Spoopendyke. That's
Mrs. SilverspoOn and Miss Hemming-
way. They are just as nice as they can
be-"
Are they the three-fold worthless who
how! in the chOir?" asked Mr.. SpoOpen-
dyke, Sternly. They've got a grandson
old enough to be my father"
They haven't" sObbed Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke. You know better"
well, most of 'em have. What dye
want me to call on 'em for? Got any
more old almanacs expecting me
Where's the sphinx? You haven't got
the Sphinx down here nor the Tower of
Babel? Who're these other pyramids
Who's Mrs. Upsidedown
That's Mrs. EdgertOn. She sent you
the jelly when you were sick, and you
said she was the best woman in Brook
| lyn. You'll have to call on her for po-
liteness," said Mrs. SpOopendyke, Sc
verely.
Il won't either" shouted Mr.. SpOop-
endyke. "The jelly was sour, and she
made me pay dollar toward Il plaster
of Paris angel for starving family out
in Flatbush. Who's this other nurse of
George Washington? Here, this is a
mistake, went to Miss ShumlOck's fu-
neral thirty years ago"
You didn't! You never did" pro-
claimed Mrs. Spoopendyke, thoroughly
aroused. "That isn't ker name, either
It's Miss SchOfeid, and she is the best
friend I've got. l only want"
IL know what you want" hissed Mr.
Spool endyke. You want Il few more
acquaintances, and map to be a guide
book to ancient Troy. Think I'm going
to call on that old monolith? Got any
here that belong to modern times
Know anybody who has been dug VI
within six or eight centuries? Who's
that black-eyed girl in the Bible class
Don't she hang out flag to-day ?"
IL wouldn't look at her," shifted Mrs.
! SpoOpendyke. Il wouldn't have you
go there for worlds. Besides, she don't
receive
whats this 2" demanded Mr. SpOop
endyke. whats Mrs. Wimpostyx got
to do with it? What cemetery will
find her IMP"
That's Mrs. WillOughby," explained
Mrs. SpOopendyke, complacently. Shes
the young widow who recently Joined
the church"
Don't mind calling on her, said Mr.
| SpoOpendyke. "She wasn't born mOre'I
four thousand years before the Christian
era. Got any more like her? Does this
measly list contain anybody else who
wasn't the mother of the Chinese En-
pire? Think of any more grave stone:
that haven't had the epitaphs worn off =
NO." replied Mrs. Spoopendyke, cold
| ly, and now remember, Mrs. WillOughby
receives calls with friends in Buffalo"
bod gast your dod gasted list" howl
ed Mr.. Spoopendyke, dancing on the
unhappy document. "Whet dye think
am, a ghoul? S'pOse I'm going to pranct
around among all the measly old ghosts
in Brooklyn? S'pose L am going tC
swash around and eat cake and drink
lemonade with lot of illustrations ot
the silurian period? Think I'm going
to spend the day with lot of articula
ted old skeletons, just because they be
long to the same church l Coz" and Mr.
Spookendyke popped out of the house
like a bung. and went next door to SEE
if his friend Tortorthumb knew any
mummies of whose history there Was
some tradition.
II don't care" said Mrs. SpOOpendyke
as she whiried around two or three times
to practice kicking her train, IF he don't
call on the church people they'll be hop.
ping mad, and if he does, he won't have
much of time, 50 he'll wish he was
dead either way" ard Mrs. SpOOpendyke
hustled into the parlor to assure san
dy-haired young man with stiff neck
that it was awful good of him to come
and tc learn that he hadn't come far OF
his own vOlition, but had slid most
of the way.
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