Smyrna times., 1881-01-19
Current Comment,
PHILADELPHIA EVENING NEWS.


Boycstting has been followed by bayouet.
ing.
Chicago's social test is said TO be mon.x
not manners
A big wart on the nose is a sure prsv.n.
live Of Ghapped lips.
Eggs are SO high now that farmer never
passes hen without taking his hat off.
Jefferson Davis refuses to let sour. apple
tree grow anywhere about his premises.
The nights of the electric light are mum.
oered. 1t is claimed that it produce,
frecklea.
Rival summer resorts have started the
story that Pinafors" has broken out in
Saratoga.
Germany is = splendid country to die in.
They only charge SIG for crsmatinK a man
over there.
The proVeFb says, MARK the upright
mani" but why single out Mark from other
upright men.
Society never finds out that a woman ia
lovely and accomplished until her husband
becomes great.
There are as many stars in the frma.
msnt a. there are sands on the ssashors or
bones in a Ehad.
1t Is thought that spring bonnetS this
year will be large enough to cover a per.
ton Of the head.
Nearly all the female members Of the
wealthiOst New York families are positively
ugly. Twas ever thus.
There is not q Smith in the United
States Senate, and yet that body is suppeH'
ed to represent the people.
A Brooklyn girl got married and diver.
ced before abe was 10, and all the Chicago
girls are half wild with envy.
Ambitious youths are now wondering
whether it is better to 60 to LeadviIle and be-
come rich or to Ohio and become great.
An exchange is trying to put stop to
conversation BY urging that people should
never speak of themselves or their enc.
mics.
Georgia people dots on poets, and the
fare there is now quite low, while no one
ever thinks Of charging the amateur poets
for board.
st. Louis paper has reached the refine
ment Of calling female servants ''hslping
maids" This is all right provided that the
maids are of any help.
Cincinnati bellies say al haven't saw
but if they are daughters of wealthy pork
packers gallant admirers never think of
critizsing their grammar.
Beware of the first drink, the first cigar,
the first game Of poker and the first line
of poetry. When once started on any of
these things few know when to stop.
The London Academy says that the death
of George Eliot leaves only one novelist,
Thomas Hardy. The Academy evidently
does not know George Alfred Townsend.
Jay Gould has just 10000 miles of rail.
road under his control, or rather had this
morning. We do not know how many
more niles he has bought since breakfast
How would it do to have Charles Francis
Adams give q stage kiss?- 7. Herald.
If you want to know, just touch your lips
to frosted gatshinge some cold msrning.
Senator Blaine is very anxious to reduce
letter postage to two cents, but this will
not be popular with people who get good
many dunninE letters. The rates are too
low now.
The Legislatures of nineteen States are
now in session. The week Of prayer, per
haps, had better be acknowledgements
Herald. Oh, the Legislatures will do the
prsying.
This being the season when the young
man is apt to come every evening and re.
main with the flower of the family until
slmSst midnight, shoes With pointed toes
have been revived.
A Connecticut man went to an aims
house for wife, thinking she would most
appreciate the advantage Of a heme, and
two weeks after marriage she got as mad as
hornet because he would not get her
{ sealskin sacque. -. III.
II there is one thing that more than all
, others will make young lady feel stuck
up, it is taking hand in candy pull
Syracuse Standard. Did you ever see a
D young woman after abe had made liberal
/. use of bandolins.
Z When man lie asked to drink in Texas
I he must either accept or be shot. The
fear that the bravsst Texans have Of re.
volver under such circumstances is some
} thing remarkable. They would stand up
n a -