The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1881-11-20

the Lamp-Post, Perhaps the Lamp-Post
would Fall if it Were not For the Man. At
any Rate, the Man would Fall lift Were not
for the Lamp-post. What is the Matter
with the Man? He appears Disquieted He
is Trying to Work his Boots up through his
Mouth. He will have Headache to-mor-
row and Lay ii to the Climate.
II.
The Girl is Scratching her Back against
the Door, She has Been eating Buckwhat
Cakes. Her Beau thinks she is Delicate,
but he has Never seen her Tackle Plate of
Hot Cakes on a Frosty Morning, Cakes
had better Roost High when she is Around.
If We Were the Girl we would wear Sand
Paper lining in the Dress, and not be Max
ing Hair-Brush out of the Poor Door.
Here we Have Baby. 1t is composed of n
Bald Head and pair of Lungs. One ofthe
Lungs take a Rest while the Other runs the
Shop. One of Them is always On Deck all
ofthe Time. The Baby is Bigger man
with his Father ut Night. The Father does
Most of the Walking and all ofthe Swearing.
Little Girls, You will Never Know what ii is
| to be Father
~
The Peach is Hard and Green. ii Is
waiting for Child tie Come along and eat
Him. When he Gets into the Child's Stom-
ach he will Make thinks Hot for that Child.
The Child Who eats the Peach will be
an Angel before he Gets chance to Eat
another, II there were No green Peaches
there would not be so many Children's
Sizes of Gold llarps in Heaven.
v.
| Behold the Printer. He is Hunting for a
Pickup of halfa Line. He has Been Hunt
! ing for Two Hours. He could have Set the
half Line in twenty Seconds, but it is Mat
ter of Principle with Him never to Set what
he Can pick up. The Printer has Hard
time He has to set type all night and
Play pedro for Beer all Day We would
like to Be Printer were it not for the Night
Work.
This is the Man who has had Notice in
the Paper. How Proud he is. He is Step
| Wings he would Fly. Next week the Paper
will say the Man is a Measly Old Fraud
and the Man will not Step so High.
| VII.
This sorry spectacle is n Plumber. He is
ragged and Cold and Hungry. He is Very.
very Poor. When you See Him Next
monds and Broadcloih His wife takes in
Washing now, but she be able to Move
| in the First Circles by the Time the
| Weather turns Warmer and the Pansies
Bloom again,
| Here is Castle. 1t is the Home of an
Editor. 1t has Stained Glass Windows and
Mahogany stairways. In front of the Castle
| is Park. Is il not sweet? The lady in the
Park is the editors wife. She wears d Costly
robe of Velvet trimmed with Gold Lace, and
there are Pearls and Rubies in her hair.
The editor sits on the front stoOp smoking u
Havana Cigar. His little Children are
playing with diamond Marbles on the Tes-
| selated floor. The editor can afford to Live
in Style. He gets Seventy-Fivc Dollars a
month Wages.
Here we Have Piece of Chewing Gum
II Is White and Sweet. Chew il awhile and
Stick it on the Under Side, of the Mantal
Piece. The Hired Girl will find il There
and Chew it awhile Herself and then Put it
back. In this way one Piece of Gum will
Answer for Whole Family. When the
Gum is no Good, Put 1t in the Rocking
Chair the Minister or your Sisters Beau to
sit Upon,
This is q Cock Roach lie is Big, Black
and Ugly. He is Crawling over the Pillow.
DO not say Word, but be still and Keep
your Mouth open. lie will Crawl into
| Your Mouth and You can Bite him in Two.
This will Teach him to be more Discreet in
Futurc.-[Eugene Field in the Denver
Tribune.
The Tracy House.
This most excellent hotel, which is located
convenient TO the depot In the town OF
Athens, has, under tho efficient manage
mont Of Captain Tracy, its popular pro-
prietor, taken rank among the leading
hotels of the southwest, and travellers ap.
preciate the first-class Accommodations II
affords by patronizlng Il in most liberal
manner. The Accommodations are first-class
In every respect, and the fare IL the very
best to be had In the land Guests are
shown every attention, and tho popularity
of this house Is due to these facts.
t.
From Eminent DIR. q. q. Clark, Oswego.
40 have made sufficient expert
ment of CoLpEN's 1iIRBIc's LIoUID ExrRACr
OF Deer Ann TOXIC 1SyioonAToR to enable
me to say Il Is by far the best Of oil the
preparations of the kind food and tonic)
that have ever used. To the sufferer from
chronic diseases, or the convalescent. II is
invaluable, being both nourishing and
strengthening. (Remember the name, Cot
pES's--take no other) Ofdruggists.
Premature Loss Of Hair
May be entirely prevented by the use of
BuRNErr's CocoAiNE.
Housckeepcrs should insist upon obtain
ing Burnett's Flavoring Extracts. They