The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1881-06-16
NY EETGHBoRE
A sketch By Gale Forest Love thy Neighbor
az Thyselfn
lChieago Tribune.

neighbor as myself of course. Applique
the sentiment, very fine indeed; but, Iik.
a great many. other things that / applaud
and wish could do, cant do it.
Let me tell you about few of my neigh
bors, and if you blame me for not lovins
| them even as do myself (which would be
precious little), just put yourself in MI
place and see II you could do it, and II
| risk the result
First. there is my back-door neighbor
She runs in with a shawl over her head In
winter; and sunbonnet, or nothing, in
summer. She GENERALLY comes early
before my breakfast dishes are washed
or my mornings work done up; and,
when | invite her to sit down, she de
elares hastily, and with quite a frighten-
ed air, that she cant really; just ran over
for moment, and can't possibly stay
really mustn't stay"
And then she fidgets around the door in
a manner, that, to an animated observer,
would betoken a speedy exit But it does
not deceive me, I am only too well aware
that it is a sure sign of a long stay; for, ae-
cording to the usual programme, she grad
ually becomes calm, and then she steadily
eTaVitates towards chair, and at last she
meets it, and sits and sits, and chatters
and ehatters, and stays and stays, and
binders me till feel as if I was on nettles,
and wish she was; and just as / am re-
| solving for the nine hundred and ninety
ninth time that I win try Joaquin Miller's
successful method of freezing out, I'M
welcome callers the next time, she sudden
| ly starts up. and exclaims that she must
go-doesn't see why she always stays here
SO long, but it's always SO bright and cosy"
| agd then all at once, she is reminded of the
errand that brought her over and having &C
complished it, she stands, and stands, and
affectionately caresses the door knob till the
whistle blows for 10 o'clock, when she
| turns and, to my incredible relief, actually
shoots out of the door, while fly around
in q frantic endeavor to make up for lost
| time.
Next, there is my borrowing neighbor
She has the chronic affiiction of being
lust OUT of something needful; has in
tended to get it, but kept forgetting it; so,
on one protect or another, with or without
an apology, she manages to take the use
of my washtubs, clothes line, or clothes
pins every wash day. my fiat irons, shirt
| board, or beeswax every ironing day; my
| daily paper every day, my weekly paper
every week, and my monthly magazine
every month; and that, too, half the time,
before have read them myself.
She borrows every book that | bring
into the house, and, I verify believe,
would have kept some of them to this
day had | not made bold to ask for them,
after an absence of months had fully
convinced me of her proficiency as book
keeper or destroyer.
My borrowing neighbor is also my
would-be stylish neighbor. Is she invited
to party she Immediately has in mind
some nice little accessory Of mine that
she must-have to make her toilet complete.
Must she attend funeral she eongratulates
herself that my wardrobe contains the
! necessary weeds"
Then there is my curious neighbor. She
is in perpetual fear lest something will
happen in the vicinity which shall escape
her observation, and is therefore continual
ly on the watch for events.
She is thoroughly familiar with my own
and the fan1ily's outgoings and mornings.
She is completely posted as to the number,
style and standing of my callers of both
sexes. She makes comprehensive study
of my clothes-reel every week, and
is as well informed concerning the
state of the household linen as are in
dividual owners thereon. She has,
as occasions offered, followed
me from cellar to garnet of my house, and
has the contents, or furnishing, of each
minds eye"
Now comes my gossiping neighbor who
has the sore misfortune of tongue that is
trifie too long for her mouth, when it is
shut. and who. consequently, gives her
unruly member" unlimited freedom
| I never see her coming but I know she
is full to the tongues edge with pickings
of gossip and scrapings of scandal; and, il
circumstances over which have no con-
troll viii not allow me to take refuge from
the coming torrent, | brace myself for it
with closed ears and indifferent air and a
firm resolve that she shall have no words
of mine to add to her accommodating stock.
This, alas appears all the better for her
The less talk the more she can talk,-in
fact can't say anything.
This woman is a veritable Niagara OF
news, and / might as well attempt to stem
the tide of that rushing cataract as to
attempt to interrupt the deuge of
idle and defamatory words that roll from
her mouth, over acquaintance and stranger
friend and foe; while | go around about
my duties or sit and hear what I must, and
suffer unbeatable tornents, and just as /
am engaged IN mental estimate as to how
long my reason will hold out under pres
ent pressure, she interrupts herself to de-
clare that she hasn't told half her news,
| latter talking three mortal hours) but she
wants to run into Mrs. - before she
goes home; hasn't seen her in an age "a
week or sol and she must go. but she will
come again soon, and tell me the awful
scandal about two church members and a
young girl who just came in from the
| country; good bye"-and herself and
tongue are really out Of my house, leaving
me in a state closely resembling temporary
insanity, sick and disguised with the world
and with her most of ALL to hope and
pray she may never again cross my TIRES
hold.
Then there are my generally disagree
able neighbors-one of whom keeps a dog
to make night hideous and me desperate
with its barking and howling-a pair of
cats that honor me with midnight sere
nades, host of chickens to bring up my
flower seeds faster than the sun and rain,
but to no purpose, who uses the space in
front OF my alley gate to deposit her Stops
and ashes, old boots and shoes, broken
furniture, crockery, tin cans, etc
Another appears to take special pains to
air her connubial difficulties In my pres
ence, keeping me IN mortal terror lest |
shall some time become notorious as a wit
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