The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1881-10-13
A Hitch.


way, as he dropped into the Eagles
counting room with a nuptial notice. cit
looks bad and it makes talk
Anything wrong about this wedding?"
asked the clerk as he made change for
the old man.
"Nothin' positively wrong, but it
didn't launch like l want to see things
of that kind. You have seen by the no.
tice that Buck Thomas was marryin'
Mary Biff, and at one time we began to
think they would never get through the
ceremony"
"What was the hitch?"
"Why Buck is Methodist and Mary
is 'Piscopalian, and as one wanted one
service and the other another, they
patched up some kind of scheme to
have both. Neither wouldn't go to the
others church, but each had their own
minister, and the weddin come off in the
school house. The Episcopal minister
married Mary, and the Methodist minis
ter undertook to marry Buck, and there
they were takin' alternate whacks at the
thing, and neither paying any attention
to the other. The Methodist fired off
a sermon first, and the bride sat down
and went to sleep. Then the 'Piscopa-
liam said as how we'd dropped in to see
that woman jined, but he wouldn't say
who to, and wanted to know if there was
any objections. That started up the
Methodist, who began to ask Buck if he
knew what a solemn business lie was
peggin' at, and if he really meant trade.
All that time the 'Piscopalian was howl
in around about this woman, and
Mary was sayin she'd do this, and that,
and the other. The Methodist was
marryin away on his side and finally
they brought up agin stump"
''How's that y asked the clerk.
"Well, the 'Piscopalian wouldn't
recognize Buck or his minister, and the
Methodist wouldn't have nothin' to do
with Mary or her preacher, and there
was no way of gettin' emo together.
Eyerythin was all ready except askin
them if they'd take each other, and
neither one of EN- would do it. Mary
and Buck were standin' hand in hand,
and the crowd was gettin hungry!"
"How did they get through it ?"
"They had to compromise They
wrang]ed around for a time and finally
Buck spoke up of his own accord and
said he'd take Mary for his welded wife,
and then Mary Clipped in and said she'd
take Buck for her husband. At that we
all cheered and hollered. But there
they pumped ON another snag."
''In what respect 2" inquired the
clerk.
Because there was no one to pro-
noun,e EN- man and wife. Buck tried to
reason Mary into lettin the Methodist do
that part, and Mary urged with Buck and
tried to persuade him into listening to
her preacher; but it was no use. That
brought another row, and as it was gettin
nigh un to dark, we all felt that some
thing ought to be done, as we'd been
there most all day"
well, did they get married." asked
the tired clerk
Eyes; we fixed it up. The ministers
were getting pretty mad at each other,
but they agreed that each attend to their
own flock, so the Methodist said, L now
pronounce you man, and the Piscopalian
said, Il now pronounce you wife, and
they let it go at that. Then Buck paid
the Methodist, and the 'Piscopalian
wanted to know where he came in. Bucs
said he'd hired his man and paid him,
and as he was not responsible for his
wife's foolishness before marriage. her
parson could whistle for his wealth. l
guess therell be lawsuit about it, for
the 'Piscopalian says he'll have half of
that five dollars if it takes leg short of
to the armpit. l don't like to see them
bitches at weddin's; it don't look right,
and it amt business"
With which reflection the old man but
toned up his change and drove home in
deep meditation. Brooklyn Eagle.