The weekly miner. [volume] (Butte, Mont.) 1878-1881, 1881-10-11
ALLEGED JOKES.

When married woman buys pug dog,
husband gets something to boot. ......
II old wine Is good, is elder wine betterP
Early N bed and early to rise, is good for
the sleeper but rough on the flies. ,... 40
Do not dispise fat people. They, too, may
have their sorrows. p'
when . law becomes dead letter, why
don't they send IL to the dead-let.er ONCE P
Newly arrived Englishman {to barkeeper,:
q say, my man, give Us two mint juleps 'ot,
will you? ?" .T
hALeadville journalist has shot so many
meii that ne Is now spoken of as "the local
leaditor." '."a"s' t"m '' Al' s.t'.l "G
A mans curiosity never reaches the female
standard until some one tells him his name
was in yes erday's paper. ''i".' ''i"i"| T.
A New York man recently sold his wife to
q neighbor for ST. Some men seem to take
delight in swindliug their neighbors.
A Tennessee girl went out with aman who
was painting to die for her. A squall upset
the boat, and he painted for shore and let a
negro rescue her.
A lady watching by the window for her
husband, late at mig sees masculine shape
approaching through the darkness. sis it
you ?" she says. 'No, madame, not l."
The owner Of large cranberry farm at
Berlin, Wis, employs 100 girls, and he prom
ises to marry the one who picks the most ber-
res this season, providing she will have
him.
All bachelors would like to shake hands
with the man named Morse who recently got
married and four weeks afterwards applied
to the legislature and had his name changed
to Re- Morse.
Dialogue at the Newport Casido: Swell
American, just returned from England-"l
say, doctor. is there much as:h-mia here !?
Doctor-''Very little; much more jack-ass
mia"
Neighbor's pretty daughter-"How much i:
this yard?" Draper's son desperate
"spoons" on her)-"Only one KISS" N. P
D.-"I will take three yards, grandnan will
pay"
Esthetlc: The s'utterly utter'' kind of talk
has infected the.street gamins, one OF whom
after picking up more than usually fragran
cigar stump, exclaimed to his friend: ''Jack
this is quite too positively bully" ". ."D.
Backward, turn backward. o, Time. In
your flight; let me remember when last
was tight. Wife at the window, her ma a
the door; you all know how It is who hav'
been there before.
Homer, Illinois, had u female barber, ant
instead of whooping around and raising Bo'
Ingersolrs no such place about it, the womel
quietly raised purse of S4OO and gave it t.
an old bach to marry the shaveress and TAX
her away.
SchoolmasLer to new scholar, "Now, m
boy, be industrious. Remember what yO
have once learned no one can take away frot
, you." New boy: Yes, sir; but it WI
be lust the same if don't learn anything
all. I'd Ike to know what anybody can tax
away from me them"
Haidee sends in poem Eeginning:
MY brain is pulyerlzed with woe;
My heart is stepped in sorrow;
And deaths dark beam nay DER me flo
Before this time tomorrow
The waves of agony and pain
Are round me fiercely beating,
g Because my John took Mary Jane
f Pendennis home from meeting"
a Financial: "Phat wud do wild that
n exclaimed Patrick, when the hackman hande
Q | him the baggage check. g. geV yeZ GOO
d money and yez have tried to put counterte
7; on TO me-" "You mistake said the hac
o man :" this is not money, it is only acheck
> " Go way wild yez," cried Pat; "isnt a che'
= always writ OH paper? Did yez take me f
r a ereenhorn altogether ?"