The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1881-04-07
Postal Regulations.

Postmaster Gen. Key. assures us that
an arrangement has been perfected oy
which letters without postage will be I'M.
mediately forwarded-to the dead letter
Office. =.
A pair Of onions will go for two scents,
Parties are compelled to. lick their own
postage stamps and envelopes the post
master cannot be compelled to do this.
Nitro.glicerine and,dynamite must be
forwarded ut risk Of sender. If they
should blow. up in the postmasters IS hands
he cannot be held responsible.
When letters are received soearing no
direction, the parties for whom they are
intended will please signify stae tactic tse
the postmaster, that he mayeat once sior-
ward.
A stampJof ;thesfcot is.not s'RhcieDsto
Spring chickens thatare old enoughto
vote. when sent by mail shouldbe enclosed
in iron.bound boxes to save their tender
bodies from injury. .,1
It's unsafe to mail apples or fruit trees
with the, fruit son.them, as some; .9E the
Postmasters have weakness for such
things. Bottles Of whiskey should be
well corked.
It is earnsstly..requested that lovers
writinp,so their girls, williplease con6ne
their gushing:.rhapsodies..tosth inside OF
the envelope. ,...,s
m:ils. when alive. Their quack.
ing would disturb the slnmbers OF
the clerks on the postal cars. This rule,
however,;does not applysto "duck!:of a
bonnet" 49,,
When watches. ARE sent through the
mails if the sender will pnt So notice !on on
She outside the Postmasters VIII wind up
and keep in running order.
Poems on Spring. and Beautiful Snow
I are rigidly excluded from the mails.
This will be joyful news to the editors OF
this land.
Old maids, fsatherrheds, and inflated,
balloons are unmailAble. q. sss
Johns Smith getsbhis mail; from !; e74,
279 Post offices, hence letter directed to
John Smith, United States, will reach
him. .,q.I ~
When candy is sent;through the mails.
it is earnestly requested that both ends
of the package be left open so that the
employees of the Post Office may test its
quality. 80 :
provided sucking bottles and napkins &C
company them.
Eggs are not mailable unless they are,
fresh; and should they become chickens
on transit they become the property of
the Post Office Depot.
When you enclose a money order in
letter always write full and explicit d.
rections.in. the same letter, so that any
person getting the letter can draw the
money.
Alligators over ten feet in length are
not allowed to be transmitted by mail.
Young ladies who desire to send their
Saratoga trunks by mail to watering
places during the coming season should
notify she Postmaster General at once:
They must not be over seven feet long by
thirteen high.
Garlic, Onions, Assafoedita, Gum
Camphor, Swiltzer, Linberger, and Sap
sago sent through the mail should be left
open atthe ends.
Butter and lard are mailable only in
the Summer months. Wrap them in
fold of tissue paper open at both ends.
The butter must have all the hair combed
out of it.
When you enclose money to any of the
parties on the official list of frauds please
say little prayer.
Letter carriers are required to have
penetration enough to know when letters
should be delivered to jealous wives, hence
if he delivers letter from your girl to
your wife you can have him discharged.
The placing of stamps upside down on
letters is prohibited. Several postmasters
have recently been seriously injured while
trying to stand on their heads to cancel
stamps placed in this manner,