Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1881-07-14
IN A NUT SHELL.

The boy looked forward to the Fourth
Toy pistol, bold in hand
He fred--it bursted-loekjaw came
He has joined the angel band.
A young man in Illinois was so badly
stung by a colony of bees that he
couldn't get married at the time agreed
upon. He had taste of his honey
moon in advance.
The Old Testament will not be revis-
ed for three years yet. People will
have to break the ten commandments
as they are for the present.-Ner Hduen
Register.
Three Americans, Burns, Hamilton,
and Wilkes. caught in Italy counterfeit
ing its paper money, are now galley
slaves at Gaeta, serving out twenty
years's sentence each.
A man has been convicted of bribing a
voter in Philadelphia, and sentenced to
six months prisonment; but he was
the smallest kind Of a politician. His
political employer was acquitted.
There are not more than 5000 pro-
fessional burglars in America, and yet
to keep them out of our homes We
pay s., OOO, 900 year for locks, bolts
and fasteners. Ten thousand dollars
apiece year would hire them to be
good.
A South End father asked his son if
he felt too tired or lame to go to Bar
NUNS circns, and when the boy said
mo" told him to 60 and bring up q
hod of coal. And the boy couldn't
say he wasn't able.-BCstor Press.
81 cannot sing the old songs shrek
I'd an amateur soprano the other night,
and while she took in breath for the
next line, a young man, who had look
ed in for moment, was heard to re-
mark, casually but effectually: "You
just bet you can't" 1t broke up the
concert on the spot.-Hawkeye.
A man lately confined in Scotch
Jail for cattle stealing, managed, with
five others, to break out on Sunday,
and being captured on one of the
neighboring hills, he very gravely re-
marked to the officer: 81 might have
escaped, but had conscientious scru-
Piles about travelling on Sunday"
State studies-"If you love Me. build
Me. an Ark, Geo." said she; "Kan.
your" o., La, Me-. are you ILL.,, Mimi?
Well, you'll have to Miss. it. / want
ed to give you a Penn. Or. something
else, but an Ark. Tex. too much sand"
And, turning away, he muttered, 'Iowa
one"
While workmen were engaged in
making repairs on the house of Chas.
Lewis, of Sherborn, Mass, bag con-
tanning 81, 800 in gold was found. 1t is
supposed to have been secreted by Mr..
Perry, formerly the owner of the house,
twenty years ago.
The largest bluestone ever shipped in
New York State will be sent this week
from Barryville, by canal, to w. II.
Vanderbilt, to be laid in front of his
residence in Fifth avenue, New York.
1t is Is by % feet, is seven inches thick,
and weighs twenty tons.
Suppose that instead of the Dorterel
being the ship which so mysteriously
went to pieces, it had been the ship, late
ly cruising in the same waters, carrying
the heir to the throne of England, and
his brother! The Princess of Wales,
already heart sick with anxiety about
her sister in Russia, may well feel anx-
lous about her sons.
An alderman of Ottawa has made q
flying machine which is somewhat less
of failure than most inventions of the
sort. Starting at an elevation of 80 feet
he was able to keep in the air for dis
lance of about a quarter of mile.
The continuance has wings worked by a
crank.
A lady Of experience gives advice on
kissing to a young lady friend as fol-
lows; BE frugal of your bestowal of
such favors. In the first place. | would
cut off my uncles cousins, and broth
ers-in-law. Let them kiss their own
wives and daughters; and l would not
KISS the minister, or the doctor, or the
lawyer who gives you a divorce"
The Baroness Burdette- Coutts- Bart
lett has been giving several large enter
tainments at her London house. She
received her guests the other evening
at the door of her largest drawing room,
her husband at her side She wore the
ribbon and order sent to her by the
Sultan after the war, some magnificent
diamonds on her neck and in her hair,
and large punches of hearts-ease.
Statistics show that IN France there
are now 100000 lunatics, or one for ev-
cry 400 inhabitants. Two-ffths of them
are in public and three-fifths in private
asylums. Ten madmen come from the
liberal professions to one from the agri-
cultural population. Further, it is
shown that one artist III every 100 is
mad, one LAWYER in every 100. and one