davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1881-06-02
"No Fooling..

A Detroit lawyer had call to 90 into
the country few miles to attend case
on trial before a country Squire, and,
while jogging leisurely along in his
buggy, he saw a man come running
across the fields at the top of his speed.
Directly behind him, and armed with a
stout stick, was a woman, and it was a
nip-and-tuck race to the fence. The
man reached It first, however, and, as
ne dropped on the highway-side, he
called out to the lawyer
stranger, for Heavens sake give me
a lift down the road for half mile |"
Whats the trouble here p asked the
lawyer.
"Wife and I have had another falling
out ~ was the reply, as the man rolled
down steep bank to the buggy.
The woman at this moment reached
the fence, and, as she was climbing
over, the lawyer inquired of the hus-
band:
care you fooling or in earnest %
EFF you think I'm fooling just wait a
second p gasped the woman, as she
plunged down the bank, rolled over and
over In the road, and rose up with big
stone in each hand.
"Squatr' yelled the husband, as he
circled around the horse, but the lawyer
wasn't quick enough. One of the stones
hit him in the back and the other grazed
his ear and hit the horse, and five or six
more were coming as he struck trot
and moved of, the husband hanging to
the vehicle and running behind. When
a safe distance away the lawyer halted
and looked back. The woman stood In
the middle of the road shaking both fists
at him, and the husband wiped the
beads of perspiration off his cheeks and
chin, and said:
"Stranger, Hammer and me never
have any fooling. When she's good
natured I git one shirt a week and two
meals day. When she's mad one of us
has got to light out, and wish next
time you come this way you'd tell me if
there is anybody in Detroit who can
make me pair of wings"
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1881-06-02
0Inyisible Fire.ss

An English gentleman discovered that
the fame of electricity as a curative
power had penetrated Persia.
While tarrying at Shiraz, on business
connected with the overland telegraph,
he was visited by a Persian noble. Hav-
ing receive paralytic stroke In his left
shoulder and arm, the nobleman came to
inquire if the Englishman's invisible fire
electricity would not cure him.
He had heard that there were magi-
clans In England, who curedal diseases by
the aid of this fire. The Englishman,
having moderated the Persians expecta-
tions by remarking that the statement
was an exaggeration, accompanied him
to the Office Of the telegraph.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1881-06-02
A Good Character from His Last Place.

In Galveston, as elsewhere in Texas,
when prisoner has no money to employ
counsel, the Judge appoints young law
yerto defend the doomed man, very much
as the pauper patients In a hospital are
turned over to the young doctor to learn
the profession ON. Not long since quite
a young lawyer was appointed to defend
man for burglary. The young lawyer,
after consulting with his unfortunate
client, said:
May it please your Honor, I want
this case continued until I can procure
the attendance of material witesses."
"What do you expect to prove p"
asked the court.
"I expect to prove that my unfortu-
nate client is quiet, sober and indus
trious man."
"By whom do you expect to prove
that %
'By the officers of the penitentiary,
where he has spent the last five years. !"
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1881-06-02

OHARooAL as MANJaE. Although
charcoal is nearly pure carbon, large
constituent Of all vegetation, still II Il
not claimed that this substance Turntables
direct food to plants. It's action is thuA
described by Liebig plants thrive in
powdered charcoal, and may be brought
to blossom and bear fruit il exposed 10
the influence of rain and atmosphere.
Charcoal is the most Interchangeable sub
stance known. Ir may DO kept for cent
uries without change. II possesses the
power of condensing gases within ia
pores, and particularly oarboni acid:
and il is by virtue Of this power Il the
roots Of plants are supplied with char
GOAL as is humus, with an atmosphere
of carbonic acid, which is renewed ~
quickly as il is abstracted. Plants dil
eot, however, attain maturity, under OF :
binary circumstance, in charcoal pow.
der, unless moistened with rain OF rairi
water. Rain-wRter contains one Of ths
essentials of vegetable life, compound
of nitrogen, the exclusion of which en-
tirely deprives bumus and charcoal ~
their influence upon vegetation"
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1881-06-02

THE changes in the color of the sea
have attracted the attention of seafaring
men from the earliest times. They
struck with wonder the Phenicians
when first they ventured out of the Med
iterranean into the Atlantic; they ex-
cited the astonishment of Columbus and
terrified his companions, while in search
of the far-faned Indies and they are no
less a surprise to the modern navigator,
to whom the march of discovery has left
few unexplored regions In store. One
of the most remarkable and most widely
distributed contrasts of color is that
which is known to exist between the in
tensely blue seas situated between the
tropics and the green seas of higher lati-
tudes. 1t appears as the result of recent
observations, and more especially of a
series of experiments made on board the
German higate Gazelle, that there is an
intimate relation between the color of
sea water and the proportion of salt held
in solution by the latter. On comparing
the specific gravity of green water with
that of blue water, 1t was found that the
latter is always heavier than the former,
and. therefore, at the same time more
salt. the two differently colored waters
being supposed to have the same tenn
perature. In other words, the greater
or lesser intensity of the blue color of
sea water may be taken as direct index
Of its sadness and of its specific gravity,
so that when we observe the color of the
water successfully change from deep
blue to a blush green and dark green,
we may conclude that the water has be-
come at the same time less salty and
less heavy.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1881-06-02

HIcKoHY-NUT CAKE.-One cupful of
sugar, one-haf cupful of butter, one-half
cupful of sweet milk, two cupfuls Of
flour and one and one-hah teaspoonfpls
of baking-powder, well mixed, one large
cupful of walnut meats, one large cup
full of raisins, whites of four eggs, yelks
Of three eggs; beat butter and sugar to
n cream, add the yelks of the eggs well
beaten, then the flour and milk -four
the meats and raisins (stoned and STIR
them in; lastly, the whites of the eggs
beaten to a stiff froth. Bake IN pans to
slice or cut In blocks. When baked,
make frosting, mixing in one-hah cup
full walnut meats, and pour over.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1881-06-02
Sanitary Sleeping.

DIR. B. W. Richardson protests against
the double bed. He maintains that the
system of having beds in which two per-
SONS sleep Is always to some extent un-
healthful Each little child, even, should
have its own little bed No two children
are constituted 50 as to require the same
kind of bed clothing and the same kind
of bedding. ''No children or persons
can sleep under the same covering with
out one being the cause of some discom-
fort to the other, by movement, position
or drag of clothing. Beyond these dis
comforts, however, there is the question
of emanations from the breath. At some
time or other the breath of one of the
sleepers must In some degree, affect the
other; the breath is heavy, disagreeable;
it may be so intolerable that in waking
hours, when the senses are alive to it, it
would be sickening soon after short ex-
posure to it. Here IN bed, with the SEN
ses locked up, the disagreeable odor may
not be realized; but assuredly, because 1t
is not detected, it is not less injurious.
Moreover, under the single bed system
it is rendered impossible to place very
old and very young people to sleep to-
gether. To the young this is positive
blessing, for there is no practice more
deleterious to them than to sleep with
the aged. The vital warmth that is so
essential for their growth and develop
ment is robbed from them Ivy the aged,
and they are enfeebled at a time when
they are least able to bear the enfeeble-
ment.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1881-06-02

WHITE furs or ermine may be cleaned
as follows Lay the furs on table and
rub them well with bran made moist
with warm water rub until quite dry
and afterward with dry bran. The wet
bran should be put on with flannel and
the the dry with a piece Of book muslin,
should be well rubbed with magnesia OF
piece of book muslin after the bran
process. Dry -four may be used instead
of wet bran. They should be rubbed
against the way of the fur.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1881-06-02

A BOHEMIAN of the frst water was re-
Gently turned out of his lodgings and in
stalled in miserable little room abAo-
lutely without furniture. He met q
friend and said to him, Lend me q
chair" "What forT was the answer.
my dear sir, / should be 80 ashamed
if burglars should come into my room. !"
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1881-06-02

SMITHERs believes in unIucky num-
bers. For instance, he says, it's un-
lucky to have thirteen persons at the
table when there is only dinner enough
for ten.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1881-06-02
She Didn't Want the Oil Herself.

A well dressed young lady went into a
drug store recently in a neighboring
city, and addressing the proprietor said:
II want to get something for mild
cathartic Can you fix me some castor oil
in some way so it will not be disagreeable
to take?'
Certainly he could, and thinking to
give. it to her before she knewit, stepped
behind the counter, put some of the oil
into q glass and asked her If she would
take glass of soda water while waiting.
She could with pleasure.
She drank il, and he smilingly asked.
'TDid you taste it?
'eTaste what?" she answered in alarm.
'eWhy, the castor oil, to be sure" he
answered
"Oh, my Godr' she fairly shrieked.
q 1 didn't want the oil for myself
Ey,,3;y-o T7-ee Press
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1881-06-02

UTOPIA is the term invented by Sir
Thomas Moore, and applied by him to
an imaginary island which he represents
to have been discovered by companien
the utmost perfection in laws, politics,
etc, In contradistinction to the defects
of those which then existed elsewhere.
The name has now passed into all mod
ern language to signify state of ideal
perfection
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1881-06-02

TIE farmer feeds the blcatinguu,
And the sailor sails the c c,
The gardner plants the ? D, he does,
The printer takes his 9 e
Ths sinner wipes his weeping l.
The farmer gwarms his b,
The printer daily sets his n n,
The teaEnster ycils his z,
The lawyer gathers his Wv,
When he has tried hia X r
The shortGs ever on tho Q.
1hs gambler riaks Ais q q
IT takes 800. 900 pounds Of chewing To-
bacco year to supply the United States
army.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1881-06-02

SHRwRECKED sailors never need
starve while there is q blight of rope left.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1881-04-22
lMPEACHM ENr.

The Harrisburg Patriot is very anx
ions to have the Legislature impeach the
State Treasurer for refusing to pay the
members ten dollars a day in disre-
gard of the Attorney Generals opinion.
1t is perhaps possible that the members
in their present condition OF wrath, might
push through an impeachment and re
move the Treasurer, but they would not
he sustained by public opinion, The av
orage citizen does not deem the refusal
OF the Treasurer sufficient to warrant
such grave proceedings. The Attorney
General is the highest law officer of the
State government and the one to whom
heads OF departments would naturally
apply for an opinion regarding the at
fairs of their respective Offices If the
Attorney General and the Treasurer are
wrong, let the Courts so decide and that
will end it, There will be no great loss
of time nor interruption of legislative
duties, in submitting the matter TO ju-
dicial settlement The Legislature will
command more respect by passing the
more important bills on the calendar,
i!lan by ''breathing out threatenings and
slaughter" against the State officers tor
acting, as they think, in compliance with
law More work aud less talk is what is
needed.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1881-04-22
LEGISLATIVE FOLLY.

The members of the Legislature are
doing their best to convince the people
that they are not worth ten dollars per day,
whatever may be their legal right to
that stipend. The early days of the ses-
sion were wasted in the selection Of an
United States Senator to suit Mr.. Cam
cron, and the past two weeks have been
thrown away in wranging over petty
resolutions to annoy Attorney General
Palmer and State Treasurer Butler The
important public business has been suf-
fcred to languish and now, after hun
dred days have passed, the really vital
questions presented are still unsolved
For all this folly there will undoubtedly
come retribution at the hands of disgust
ed constituents and many of the honora-
BILE gentlemen who have displayed so
much energy regarding their pay and so
little as to anything else, will not return
TO Harrisburg in the capacity of law
makers.
The only dignifed way to test Mr..
Palmer's construction of the law is to
carry the matter into Court, and have il
decided by proper judicial authority.
This would not interfere with the trans.
action of public business deserving at
tention, and would tend to preserve some
feeling of respect for the members Ur
to this date the sympathy OF the commu-
nifty is with the Attorney General, as the
resolutions adopted have shown toe
clearly that they were inspired by re
vengeful motives. The lawmakers Of
n great Commonwealth ought to bt
above such petty malicousness, and the
sooner they understand that the people
think so, the better it will be for then
and for their further continuance in po
litical existence. 1t has been repeated,
demonstrated of late, that the long-suf
fering aud patientpublic can adopt strong
measures when necessary, and cas-
aside with scant ceremony their negli
gent and lmfaithful servants. Wise mel
flee from the wrath of the tempest, bu
fools remain TO defy it.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1881-04-22
THE W0RLpS Fab.

The citizens of New York, in their eff
forts to inaugurate a monster fair, have
not very favorably impressed the country
at large. There is an evident indiffer-
ence on the part of wealthy men and
corporations, that has had a chilling eff,
feet, and it begins to look as if the pro
ject would fall through. Gen. Grant,
who was made President of the Fair AS
ISOLATION for the purpose of attracting
capitalists, scented danger and resigned
his position to accept one with more OF
profit and, possibly. of honor. The CeR
tral Il. II, Company who would have
made millions had the Fair become q
fixed fact, offered but a meagre sum,
whilst the Pennsylvania r. r. Company
proposed to give $l25,000, although
their profits were problematical AS
New Workers are fond of boasting OF
their generous expenditures, business ac-
tivity and dash, their apathy az regards
so great an undertaking and one that
would so greatly rebound to their honor
and profit. is peculiar to say the least
The people OF Pennsylvania, looking
back on the great Exposition of 1876,
may be pardoned for cynical smile at
the tribulations of their brethren in New
York
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1881-04-22

Senator Cameron's Legislature ought
to pass some resolutions condemning
the inconsiderate men who held Senator
Cameron's coat-tails the other day when
he started Tor Senator Ben. Hill. A mau
ought to have the free use of his own
ooat-tails on an occasion like that and if
Senator Camerons fine frenzy had not
been violently discouraged he would have
put down the rebellion III about two min
utes. Such untinely restraint AS was
put upon the young Senator's coat-tails
cannot be denounced in terms too severe.
This duty belongs TO the Legislature
fhtId. Times.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1881-04-22


Is your Blood Impure and loaded with the Poison
OF Scrofoa?
II. vonr I,,o o,rono,, oo,,,,, or, t,ro,,, nm In
curable Ulcer or Sore?
To your sr,n ooyorod ,,,,b rto,n sooiv ma coro,
10 ypu, Snln oo'e'eu WIN ieohhs'ooay anu ooioi
To your ,,omn,ax,on a,se,,roa with Irrs,,,,,y
prnnf,ona ~ p,ppmispas Si'"sue" WIN o"''s"'i'
N,uPs'oo P y, Dn., M @ .
Is your Hair Thn lifeless and rapidly falling out
anu ooaip ,,, .o'oiou WIN ,oaiee
or R,aeo,oo9 " oA Jun I,""u' 'oush nou' ''"'Ae'
VI ,N'.. -, .,,. ,,...
is your Child growtnE~ip with Scrofulous Humors
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1881-04-22
AND DEMOCRAT. BLOOMSBURY, COLUMBIA COUNTY, PA.

Senator Cameron having said of the
Pennsylvania Legislature that "no no
bier, better or more patriotic body could
be found in the world" tits now In order
for the statesmen at Harrisburg to do
something handsome for the Senator.
A resolution to the effect of "you're an
other" would be about the thing The
people can then contemplate the mem
bers of the House in hot pursuit of At
torney General Palmer, and Mr. Gamer
ons digni6ed demeanor in the Senate,
with equal feelings of admiration and re-
spect
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1881-04-22

Senator Dawes, of Massachusetts, has
been most prominent in defending the
alliance between the Republicans 'and
Malone, for which noble work the New
York World thinks he is clearly entitled
to the distinction of being the thickest-
headed member of the Senate of the
United States.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1881-04-22

1t seems to the Independent Repubh-
can of Montrose "that the correct coarse
for the Legislature to pursue is to trans
act all important business as speedily as
possible and then adjourn. If the new
salary bill passes there will be no occa
sion for decision as to the constitution
ality of the old law, as it will stand re.
pealed"
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1881-04-22

In the State Senate on Tuesday lat,
a resolution was adopted for au adjourn
ment on the 10Th of May. On the same
day the House refused second reading
of the resolution and referred it to the
Committee on Ways and Means. The
free pipe line bill passed the House final.
", as did also the bill for an additional
supply Of Snalls hand 'bOoks
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1881-04-22

The rush for Office in Washington
is greater at the present time than has
ever been known before. Senators, mem
bers, cabinet officers and the President
are overwhelmed by applications and
their time consumed by applicants. This
would seem to Indicate that there Is an
unusual number of unemployed men and
women in the county, or else that they
consider the work in government Of
flee to be lighter and better paid than
can be obtained elsewhere,
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1881-04-22
ADVERTISEMENTS.

" IDOWS APPKAISEMENIb 10. -. y,
wv The following appraisements OF real ana
personal property set apart TO widows OF decedens
have been filed In the ofce OF the Register OF OQl-
presented for absolute confirmation 90 the orphans
Court 20 be held In Bloomsburgn In and forsad conn
ty. on Monday, the end day OF May, 1881, at Two
confirmation are previously filed, OF which all per-
sons Interested In said estates viii take notice
1. Widow of o. D. s. Marclay, late OF Bloomsbury,
deceased.
.. Widow Of John J. Gopgenbergcr, late Of Miflln
township, deceased.
Q. Widow OF Samuel Summers, late OF Montour
township, deceased.
4. widow Of Joseph u, Sands, late OF Mt Pleasant
tow nship deceased.
9. Widow of Justus +. Maus, late Of Benton town.
ship, deceased.
Registers Ofice. w. II. JACOrY,
bloomsbury, April 1, 81. Register.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1881-04-22
A TREASURY BALLAD.


Here's TO Batler Of chester who stands at his desk
Allowing ana smiling all day,
Receiving the Solons who come to him oft
And evermore speak OF their pay.
rr-[Their pathetic complaint and appeal to the said
Treasurer, here followeth:
DO you think we can come from the bleak, stormy
North,
From the West where the smoke hides the day
From great Philadelphia, or Delavare's shore,
For less than ten dollars a day7
We know our own worth and we know our own
price
Nor care what the scofrcrs may say,
We want not the learned Attorneys advice,
But what we do want is our pay.
The Wild Wolfe may rage 'mongst the lambs Of the
House
And Hewitt his gavel may play,
But who cares u rush whether school Keeps or not
SO long us we've plenty Of pay.
We've not been at home more than half Of the
time
While the session has glidcd away,
And no one shall say we haven't worked hard
And earned our allowance of pay.
Boss Cameron declares that an honester band
And noUler, exists not to-day
And with an Endorsement like that In our hand,
How can you deny US our pay7
so Butler, dear Batter, Schc out to us now,
And make our hearts grateful with pay;
Then ''asin duty Notwithstanding to form
For your lasting salvation wen pray
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1881-04-22

Too many persons are careless about destroy.
ing the stamps on cigar boxes and several ar.
rests have recently been made in this Collector,
district. The penalty for neglect is fine o.
$50 and this is imposed without regard to tht
number of cigars the box may have contained d
The Government is annually defrauded Of larg.
sums by the Illegal use ofstamps a second time
Many who are innocent ofall desire 10 com
in permitting cigar boxes with stamps not dc
faced to pass into the hands of dishones
men,
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1881-04-22
NOTICE,

The Beuton School District hereby gives notice
that all outstanding school orders OF the said Dis.
trict Will be paid between the first and fifteenth
days OF July 1881, az Benton. All persons having
orders win present them AT that tmo be forever
debarred from payment OF the same.
BY order OF the Board,
John j. McHENRY,
II. II. SMITH, PRESIDENT
secretary, march 1l-3m