The People's vindicator. [volume] (Natchitoches, La.) 1874-1883, 1881-09-24

The usderu Hst.Rs
No candid man can examine the mod.
ssn hst.rack without feeling that it is
explicablc only on the theory Of its de.
usoniacsl origin. Indeed. the human
mind Is 20 constituted that it instinct.
lively refers al the contrivances Osten.
sibly intended for no ding hats to the
devil. aud most OF III would confess =
belief that the devil makes hat.racks
did we not fear the derision o. sO.callod
philosophers. IL il reasonable to sup
pose that any human being seriously de-
signed for good purpose the cOmbi-
nation Of brass rolls which is 10 be seen
above the tables in certain restaurants?
Ostensibly these rods are intended for
the temporary storage OF hats; but
when . man tries to put his ha. on =
beass-rOd rack it instantly falls down
again. and brings with i. two other hats
and u pile Of newspapers. the former OF
which upset the caster, while the latter
di6usc themselves over the butter and
the bcetsteak. Nothing but the theory
Of the active influence Of evil spirits can
account for this style Of hat-rack. and
vet it is really inferior in ingenious ma
lightly TO the common hat.rack Of pri-
vatc houses.
This diabolical continuance ia always
placed in the dark corner OF tho hall
. fact which shows that evil spirits are
concerned not merely in manufacturing
bat in placing it. Tho consequence is
that the visitor gropes for it, and so do.
ing infallibly knocks down the over
coats and hats which are already hung
upon 1t. When he is able to perceive
Il with his eyes. he can find no salts
factory peg. The malicious manufac.
turer never fails to make the pegs 80
short that to induce . hat to balance
itself upon one Of them is . task rcquir.
Ing both time and dexterity. Not con.
tent with this. the manufacturer places
the pegs - close together that it is im-
possible for two adjoining pegs to sup.
port each its own hat ut the same time.
The ordinary visitor learns this truth
only BY sad experience. He persists in
trying to hang his hat on the peg next
70 that which bears the hat OF the head
Of the house, and it is only after he has
knocked the original hat down with his
own hat, and then knocked his own hat
down by trying to restore the other to
it, original place. that he perceives the
foil purpose Of the maker Of hat.racks.
Only the ingenuity of demons could
have combined On umbrella stand with
q hat-rack. The object Of this unholy
combination Is obviously to tempt the
visitor TO deposit his overcoat. on the
protruding handles Of half q dozen
umbrellas and canes. The prudent
man rarely attempts to hang his over
coat on . peg, for he knows that in so
doing he will knock down all the hats.
Moreover, it il the practice OF the
satanic manufacturer to put in the pegs
% loosely that the weight of an over.
coat when put on any one Of them will
pull Il out. He therefore folds his over.
coat up and lays it gently on the UNI
brells handles. Instantly these delu.
sive supports give way. A rafting
avalanche Of canes and umbrellas
strikes on the marble floor, and the b.
trayed overcost gathers to itself al the
available dirt that has accumulated In
tho bottom Of the umbrella stand, while
he startled sadindignant visitor breaks
into language which might well ill
listening demons with iiendish JOY. So
notorious has the character Of the com.
bined hst.raCk and umbrella stand be.
come that wise men never NEEDLE with
Il bat uniformly place their folded
overcoats on tho floor in . corner OF tho
ball. and put their hats on their over
coats.
Now. II 10 attempt to account for
To hat-rack o. any theory which OK.
eiudes the supernatural. We make q
complete failure. Il il in vain for 10
b ok ourselves Why men should make
% article OF furniture that can accom-.
plish no conceivable end except tho OF.
lsperation OF mankind. The moment
Ne assume that hat.racks are the work
Of evil spirits thew bocome coherent
md Ineligible. 10 It not. then, . pity
ebat The abolition Of faith IL evil spirits
leaves ~ withoat any method Of @.
oounti1g Tor the existence Of hat-rscks.
and compels ~ to say that No do not
know, aad eanaot conceive, for what
purpose they ars madel-M 7. Times.