The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1881-04-08
Going to a Dinner Party.

-
get ready, my DEAR" suggested Mr..
Spoopendyke, cheerily, ''and / won't be
late at dinner party. want You to fix
up SO as to be the best-looking woman at
the table. You can get ready IN an hour
can't you?"
"I think can," replied Mrs. Spoop-
endyke, with litter. "Oh, yes, I can
dress in that time, and hope you won I
be disappointed in me" and the little
woman began to take down her back
hair.
"You might get my shaving tackle for
me-" said Mr.. Spoopendyke, appropriat-
ing the only mirror. ssAnd now think
of it," he continued, after a pause, "my
dress coat needs button. Sew it on,
won't you?"
Mrs. Spoopendyke lugged out the coat
and hunted through broken-down old
bag after button.
"Got that button sewed on YETI in
quired Mr. Spoopendyke, lathering away
comfortably.
"In minute, my DEAR responded
his wife.
"Wel, hurry up; want you to put
these studs and sleeve-buttons into my
clean shirt"
Mrs. Spoopenayke gradually got
around to those offices, and laid out the
habiliment in readiness for her lord.
ssDid you take those stitches in my
gloves?" inquired Mr.. Spoopendyke.
"Oh, yes, certainly" replied Mrs.
Spoopendyke, going right to work at it.
"Well, then, you can brush my vest
and pantaloons, and by that time I'll be
ready to have you tie my cravat.
A few moments more found Mr..
Spoopendyke arrayed completely.
"Come-you ready?" he demanded,
having assured himself that his wife had
not accomplished a single step toward
her toilet.
s'Not quite, dear" responded the lady,
with one-half her hair in her mouth
and the other half cracking under the
brush.
whats the matter with you?" he
asked ''Didn't you say you could get
ready in an hour? Didn't you hear me
had an hour to dress in? What have
you been doing? Why can't you go as
you are? You look well enough"
81 was busy fixing your things" fall
tered Mrs. Spoopend yke, sand I couldn't
do two things at once."
so, no! You can't do anything at
once. Why didn't you have my things
fixed this morning? Why don't you
keep house somehow? That dress you've
got is good enough. Why can't you go
in-that dress? If you've got to put on
all the frills you won't be ready till next
fall. Amt you most ready now? Think
I'm going to stand around here like jug
of mineral water?"
Mrs. Spoopendyke twisted up her hair
and jammed in the pins. Then she put
on her hat and twitched it first to one
side and then the other; put one hand up
behind and showed it forward, and then
caught hold of it in front and pulled it
down.
"Well, if you're ready, let's start, .
growled Mr.. Spoopendyke. you've
been long enough for telegraph wire,
now. Come on"
'sOhl haven't got my dress on yet, "
pleaded Mrs. Spoopendyke. ''I'll be
through in moment"
"Dod gast the dressp' CALCULATED Mr..
Spoopendyke. 'sWhere's my paper?
Give me my paper and I'll read month
or two. You won't be ready till spring.
Where's that paper?"
''Take a book, dear" recommended
Mrs. Spoopendyke, blushing deeply and
glancing around nervously.
81 don't want any measly book, ;" re-
torted Mr.. Spoopendyke. IT want the
morning paper. Find that paper the
fist thing you do, and then you get
ready in four seconds
ST think you'll find the paper behind
behind the bookcase. !" said Mrs. Spoop-
endyke, as red as brick, and she hus-
tied into her skirt. and began clawing at
it behind in an effort to loop it up
a. icr1f oil IL, el,
gled Historically, as she drew on the
waist and buttoned it up nervously
"I'll be ready before you could turn the
paper inside out" and she snatched q
ribbon from the drawer, tied it into q
bow, pinned it at her throat and backed
away from the glass to see how itlooked.
I want. to know whether you're go
ing to find that dod gasted paper for
me, thundered Mr.. Spoopendyke.
I'm all right except my cloak, ''jerked
out Mrs. Spoopendyke, 'sif you'll hand
me my cloak "we'H start right away. It's
in the closet there" And Mrs. Spoop-
endyke Topped down on the floor and
began putting on her shoes.
'S'pose I'm going to hunt around for
that measly cloak'?' howled Mr.. Spoop-
endyke. "Can't you get your things for
yourself? want my paper, and want
it now"
ST can tell you what was in it," said
Mrs. Spoopendyke. ST can tell you all
about it while Dress and she looked
up at him piteously, with her face all
flushed.
''No doubt" retorted Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke. "You know all about it. All you
want is can of oil and ten men swear
ing at you all day to be o printing press.
When are you going"
Now, I'm all ready, dear, !" smiled
Mrs. Spoopendyke, who wasn't anything
OF the sort. 'sYou won't need to read
now for we're going"
They started off together, arm in arm,
Mr.. Spoodendyke growing and his wife
hitching at her various garments as they
went along.
Another time we're going out to dim
ner you get ready the day before, you
hear2" demanded Mr.. Spoopendyke.
Eyes dear, /" responded his wife, and
then she thought to herself, ssI'm very
glad he didn't insist on looking for that
paper. ."-[ Brooklyn Eagle.
A Great but UocompIeted Work.
One day when young Abu Ben-high-
dad was looking about in the great IL
brary of that eminent Arabian scholar,
Sheik Daned- -bing acmohammed, his
eyes fell upon twenty large volumes, all
on one subject. He expressed his sur