davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1881-08-10
An OLD SETTLER'S STORY

The boys had been telling few fish,
turtle and snake stories, to which he
listened very attentively. When they
had all finished, old 'mossy' gave o
hitch or two and unlimbered. wall,
boys, | never have doubted any sort o.
huntin' story since my leetle turkle
scrape down on the bottoms The
boys all looked inquiringly, and he
proceeded. Il was pokin' round down
thar one day last year, when | come
crost the durndest old-lookin' turkle
/ ever seen. Why, the moss was an
inch thick on his back, and the old cuss
couldn't hardly wiggle his tail. | cut
stick to measure the depth of the
moss on his back and accidentally
scraped off hunk of it, when seen
some letters. So / scraped it all off
and thar in big letters wus writ 'B. c.
follered by the figures '567.' Well, l
stood up kinder faint-like, and TUX my
hand off On him to sorter rub my old
head, when he fetched flop to get
away and slid down the bank bit and
turned clean over, when, I'll be dog
oned,' if thar want printed in the big
gest kind of capitals on his belly, just
ahind his forelegs, Adam, and down
a little furder, nigh his right hind leg
in the same style that they put the
name of the town on dog collars) was
printed in smaller type, Paradise =
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1881-08-10
THE PILGRIMS PROGRESS.
I62O-IS16.

We do not know who wrote this
amusing synopsis of our country's his
tory; if we did we would gladly give
his name. Having found the article
floating among the newspapers we give
it here for the benefit of our readers.
They will find that, though amusing,
it is not all fun; it gives historic dates
and facts that are worth remembering.
1920. Lands on Plymouth Rock,
and sets up for himself.
1921. Keeps ThanksgiviDg-in no
danger of over-eating.
1922. Builds meeting house.
1923. Proclaims fast day.
1923. Cuts down May-pole ut
Merry Mount, as rebuke to vain rec
reations.
1885. Is crowded for accommoda-
tions, and stakes out O new farm at
Connecticut.
1851. Makes war on the Antinomi-
ans and the Pequot Indians-and whips
both.
1888. Starts college.
l640. Sets up printing press
l643. Goes into Confederacy-the
first Colonial Congress.
l64s. Lays down the Cambridge
Platform. Hangs witch.
l649. Sets his face against the un.
christian custom of wearing long hair,
"a thing uncivil and uncomely."
1851. Is rebuked for "intolerable
excess and bravery of apparel" )" and is
forbidden to wear gold and silver lace,
or other such gew-gaws.
1851 Coins Pine-Tree shilIings-
and makes the business profitable.
1868. Prints Bible for the Indians.
1850. Buys chang up" clock, and
occasionally carries silver watch that
helps him guess at the time of day.
About this time learns to use forks at
table new fashion.
1892. Is scared by witches again, at
Salem but get the better of them.
l70l. Pounds another college, which
after o while, settles down at New Ha.
ven.
I704. Prints his first newspaper in
Boston.
l7O5. Tastes coffee as luxury, and
at his own table
| 170S. Constructs another Platform
this time at Saybrook.
ITO. Begins to sip tea-very spar.
ingly. 1t does not come into family
use till five and twenty years later.
I'LL. Puts letter into his first
Postoffice.
| l720 Eats potato-and takes one
home to plant in his garden as curl
osity.
172l. Is inoculated for the smallpox
not without grave remonstrances
from his conservative neighbors Be
gins to sing by note, on Sundays, there
by encounteriDg much opposition, and
opening ten years quarrel.
| 1740. Manufactures tinware, ant
starts the first tin peddler on his trav
els
l742. Sees Faneuil Hall built. Th,
cradle of liberty is ready to he rocked
l745. Builds an organ but does no
yet permit it to be played in the meet
ing house.
| 1850. Buys bushel of potatoes fol
winters use-all his friends wonderint
what he will do with SO many.
1888. Puts up Franklin stove il
his best room, and tries one of the ne W
| ly invented lightning rods.
1850. About this time began to wea
q collar to his shirt. When he can al
ford it, takes his wife to meeting in
chaise, instead of on a pillion, as here
tofore
| l765. Shows his dislike to stampe
paper, and joins the "Sons of Liberty.
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1881-08-10
Mistaken for Consumption.

We have known persons to doctor
for years for consumption, all to no
effect Though they had a cough, felt
pains in their lungs, were depressed,
weak, with many other symptoms
tending to that disease, yet there was
no structural unsoundness OF the lungs.
These symptoms were oil the painful
offsprings of q torpid and diseased
liver. We could fill volume with
testimonials of thousands 80 affected,
who were permanently cured by taking
Simmons Liver Regulator.
Look well after your huckleberries
this season. 1t is said they are infest-
ed with poisonous bugs.
For all arrangements of the Urinary
Organs, wear Day Kidney Pad.
Strawberry plants set out during
this month will yield fine crop next
season When plants are ordered
from distance it is good plan to sci
them at first, when received, close
together.
Cattle, as well as human beings, are
now able to travel in 'parlor cars.
These are so arranged that twenty fat
oxen weighing l,5O0 pounds apiece
can be carried in one car, with room
enough to lie down comfortably. Or
the journey they are fed twice and
watered three times day, which is &
vast advance on the old cruel system
of transporting cattle. And it is found
that the new system is more economi
cal as we'll as more humane.
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1881-08-10

AT York, Pennsylvania, recently died
A gentleman who, in his lifetime. was tied
With bonds matrimonial unto wife
(The reason, perhaps, he departed this life.)
While living however-thopgh but brief space
Ere departing-he had the misfortune to place
His wife in that rather peculiar condition
She ne'cr could have entered of her sole voli-
ton;
Then, feeling himself quite exhausted and i'll,
He drew up and signed, sealed and published
his will,
In which with commendable care, he provided
That at his demise his estate be divided
'Twixt his wife, soon to be a young widow for
lorn,
And the child that he hoped would duly be
born;
Said child, if girl, to take only one-third,
But two-thirds if boy whence it may be
averred
fhe testater boy to girl much preferred.
His affairs thus arranged and his wife in said
fix,
This father expectant crossed over the Styx.
Now, one would suppose-at least, at first
thought
No will could be simpler and palmer; that
naught
Could, by any contingency, happen, to throw
Any doubt as to how the estate was to go:
To the widow, one-third, or o-thirds. or the
whole,
As the issue might be and the embryo soul
Prove a male female. or perish at birth
To the child, if girl it should happen to be,
One-third; if boy then two parts out of
three.
Was ever more simple will made on earth
But Ito alter proverb Francaise),
Lhomme propose, Ia femme dispose. Nine
months. to day
After shrouding her husband our widow began
To put into bold execution plan
Shed conceived with intent to demolish COM
pletely
The will the deceased thought he'd drawn up
so neatly.
She sent for priest and confessed all her sins,
Then took to her bed and gave birth to-twins;
And, as if her dead lord to spite doubly, and
vex his
Pale ghost, the said twins acere of OPPOSITE
SEXES
And now all the lawyers and judges and friends
OF this troublesome widow are at their wits
ends
To determine just how the estate to divide;
And they find it right knotty point to decide;
Shall the boy have two-thirds while the other
third goes
To the girl, and the widow get naught for her
throes?
Or must we allow the astute widows claim
To two-thirds on the plea that feminine came,
And to One-third beside on the opposite plea
That one of the posthumous heirs is her
Or shall the whole go to the lawyers and court?
Or where else must fitting solution be sought?
'Tis a question DER which it will be easy to
quarrel.
Let us leave it unanswered and draw brief
moral.
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1881-08-10

The Cheapest, PureSt
aud Best Family Medi-
cine In the World
AS EFFEcTUAL SPE-
CIFfc for all diseases Of
Liver. Stomach and
Spleen.
Regulate the Liver
and prevent
CHILLS AND FEVER,
MALARIOUS FEW
ERS, BOWEL COM
PLANTS, RESTLESS
NESS, JAUND1CE and
NAIrSEA
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1881-08-10

Whenever you are sick and the
doctor tries this and that, stop fooling
and take Peruna'
The total number of entries for ex-
hibition at the great Atlanta Exhibi.
tion down to July 18th, was l,086,
and their character shows the allen
bracing nature of the exhibits, only
two entries having been hitherto made
of the same kind of articles Among
agricultural exhibits the most promi-
nent hitherto are cotton gins, cotton
presses, cOtton-seed cleaners, fertalizers,
plows, harrows, cultivators, an agri.
cultural steam engine and various food
products. The buildings are being
rapidly pushed to completion and Sec
retary Ryckman, says they will be
ready to receive exhibits by August Is
and that the Exhibition will certainly
open ON the date fxed-October 5.
Peruna is not an experiment, but q
fixed fact; single bottle will convince
you.
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1881-08-10

One square, ono insertion, 81 each subse
quent insertion, so cents. Yearly advertisement
exceeding one-fourth of q column, IS per inch
Figure work double these rates; additions
charges where weekly or monthly changes are
made. Local advertisements 10 cents per line
Tor nrst insertion, and cents per line for each
additional insertion. Marriages and deaths pub
lished free OF charge. Obituary notices charged
As Advertisements, and payable when handed in
Auditors Notices, 81 Executors and Admins
traitors Notices. 80 each; EstrAy, Caution and
Dissolution Notices, not exceeding ten lines,
each.
From the fact that the CITIZEN is the oldesi
established and most extensively circulated Re-
publican newspaper in Butler county, @ Reput-
hcan county, it must be apparent to business
men that it is the medium they should use in
advertising their business.
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1881-08-10

We'll, no. The fact is l set out to
get chain several times, but one thing
and another prevented, until one day
last week actually missed the old
lady herself looked around for her
for q couple of days, when somehow of
sudden | sorter intentioned where
she was. gave Gould about half
pound of emetic right away, but all we
could get out of him was pair of high
heeled shoes and chest protector. It
was too late-too late We put the
shoes and things in coffin, and had
Jay led behind the herse to the ceme-
terry. Wanted to have as much Of the
corpse present as possible, don't you
see? We had the animal ali decorat-
ed with flowers and things, as fine as
you please. Folks say it was the
TOUGHEST thing that ever took place in
them parts and the bereaved husband
sighed heavily.
1 Don't wonder you want to sell the
beast, remarked the menagerie man af-
ter pause.
We'll, l sorter do, and | sorter don't
salu MT. Skldmore, aDSuactedly.
There's so many memories and things
clustering around j. G-seems kinder
like parting with ones family burying
lot, as it were. On the other hand,
though. now that the old lady is gone,
| sorter feel as if the insect had-well,
had outlived his usefulness so to speak.
So suppose l just have this box hauled
around to your show after the perform
ance this afternoon, and see if we can't
strike bargain
All right said the manager, Pm
going up Salt Lake way after awhile,
and perhaps l can work him off for big
money to some of the Mormon elders.'
There's mint of coin in him as
family pet, said the other earnestly.
And after striking the circus pro-
prietor for o season dead-head, the
widower shouldered his umbrella and
drifted sadly down street.
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1881-08-10
NO. 81

roof which covers wife and children, or
the garden spot which helps to feed
them-is to him as dear, as great, as
the place of wealth or the castle of pow
er; and his right the Constitution guards
with strictness. Yet here it is where the
influence of education and social rela-
tions misleads the judicial mind, which,
untouched by fellow-feeling, suffers
the humble right to be overshadowed
and lost in the exaggerated impor-
tapce of the supposed public necessity.
True greatness of mind would lead to
more contemplative views of the rela-
tions of society, and hold the scales of
justice more righteously between right
and power; or if the poor mans right
must give way to a real prepondera-
ting necessity, would secure to aiustcom-
pensation by rightful Interpretation
of the Constitution and law.
What is the remedy for judicial in
trinity is question more easily asked
than answered. The natural qualities
and educational characteristics of men
cannot be readily determined by the
public. Reputation is the only CON-
mon means Of discovery The people
who desire their Benches to rise to the
most elevated standard of right and
justice must see to it, therefor, that rings
and politicians do not fill them with
tools and mere partisans, and that those
they support have the highest reputa-
tion for integrity, knowledge, candor
and honor.
FACTS CONCERNING JAY
GOIII u
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1881-08-10

II you feel dull, drowsy, debiltated. have fire.
quent headaches, mouth tastes badly, poor appe-
tite and tongue coated. you suffering from tor
pid liver, or ..DiiliOusness." and nothing will cure
you so speedily and permanently as TO take SIM
MONS LIVER REGULATOR OR MEDICINE.
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1881-08-10

Ye over-affectionate husbands, take care
Not to leave t,oins behind you in yentre sa mere.
Above all, harbor not the preposterous thought
Your Will can your widows will possibly
thwart.
R. j. M., in Washington LaU Reporter.
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1881-08-10
C0NSTIPaTION! !!

SHOULD not be regarded as trifing
allInent-in fact nature demands the ut
most regularity Of the bowels, and any
deviation from thi, demand payes the
way often to serious danger. IL is quite
as necessary TO remove impure accumu
lations from the bowels as 1t IL To eat or
sleep, and no health can be expected
where c0stiye habit of body prevails.
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1881-08-10

who has long been breeder of the
beautiful and docile Devon cattle, is
now engaged in an effort to breed Off
the horns, which he thinks useless
appendage, and at the same time to
preserve the peculiar excellences of
the Devon breed. For this purpose he
procured thoroughbred polled Nor
folk bull, which, like the Devon, is red
in color, and now has about twenty
pollcd calves from this bull and grade
Devon cows.
Brood mares, while sucking their
foals, may safely be used for moderate
work but under such conditions they
must be generously fed, and care
should be exercised to prevent the foals
from sucking while the mares are over
heated. 1t will usually be found more
convenient to leave the foal in the
stable while working the mare; and in
such cases she should be permitted to
stand until thoroughly cooled off before
the fool has access to her.
Nowhere are apple and pear trees so
free from blight and destructive in
sects as in the immediate neighborhood
of large black ant hill five or six
years old. The favorte food of ants
would appear to be the larvae and pupe
of those creatures which spend the
whole of their brief existence in devour-
ing the tender shoots and juvenile of
fruit trees. German orchardists regard
these energetic little creatures as
among their most efficient helpers, and
take pains to establish ant-hills in their
orchards.
The Australian census, of which the
approximate results were made known
early in May, has surprised and disap-
pointed the people of Victoria, who
find themselves less numerous by more
than 100, 900 than they had supposed
themselves to be. The total population
of Victoria is S55,796. Allowing for
the natural increase by births, the sta
tistics reveal al actual loss of 81 600
during the decade, and it is further
more entirely among the male popula-
ton. This state of affairs revealed by
the census has provoked expressions OF
discomfort throughout the colony. A
correspondent of The London Globe
says that the most obvious cause is the
faulty system ofland Legislation, which
tempts a poor man to settle on the
land though he.m may have no capital
and no experience in farming or graz
ing. After few years of miserable
existence his discomfort urges him to
remove to some other colony where the
land laws are still more liberal, in the
hope of bettering his condition. 1t is
supposed that New-South Wales has
absorbed the larger part of the popula-
tion which Victoria ought to have re-
tanned.
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1881-08-10
ELY'S CREAM BALM

EIYS CRENM BALM
HAVING gained an enviable reputation, displac-
ing all other preparations in the vicinity Of discov
cry, is, on its merits alone, recognized AZ won
derfui remedy wherever known. A fair trial will
convince the most skeptical OF its curative pow
ers. Ii effectualy cleanses the nasal passages OF
Catarrhal virus causing healthy secretiOns, al
lays inflammation and irritation. protects the
menbranal Innings OF the head from additional
sense Of taste and smell. Beneficial results are
realized by few applications. A thorough treat
ment as directed win cure CataTh. As a house
hold remedy for cold In the head Is unequaled
The Balm Is easy to use and agreeable. Sold by
druggists mt 80 cents On receipt Of 80 cents viii
mail a package. Send for circular with full nfor-
nation.
ELY's CREAM BALM CO., Owego, N. Y.
For sale In Butler by ID. H. Wuller, j. C. Redick
Zimmerman Il Wuller. Coulter & Linn.
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1881-08-10
LOCKJ1 w.

IJOC NJ IL W.
The death of Willie Cahill, Of Utica,
from lockjaw revives these remarks
from an exchange: Every little while
we read of case of lockjaw terminal
ing fatally, arising from a wound in
the feet or limbs from rusty nails. OF
course every rusty nail wound does
not prevent anyone from doing it,
that we are surprised at peoples care
lessness, and the danger they submit
themselves to thereby. If wound
caused by rusty nail. cut of an axe
or other tool, or any incised wound, or
even a sprain, is thoroughly exposed
to the smoke of burning wool or woolen
fabrics, unless the wool is very, very
bad, the Inflammation is all taken out, the
wound heals from the bottom and all
danger of titanus is removed. The
n,odus operandi is as follows: In a
convenient receptacle of iron or fire.
proof vessel place a quantity of live
Goals from wood fire. On these
throw small handful of wool or wooden
rags then hold the wound over the
smoke, as close to the buaning mass as
the heat will allow, covering the
the wounded portion with blanket
draped over that and the fire. Con-
tinue the smoke by adding fresh fire or
wool as often as necessary for from
twenty minutes to three-fourths of an
hour, according to the severity of the
wound, or the amount of Inflammation
already existing. After smoking, the
wound should be dressed in the approved
method, leaving the mouth ofthe wound
open for discharge The treatment will
Immediately allay pain, remove infam-
nation, and put it in condition for
healing by the first intention 1t is a
positive preventative of titanus, and
the best healing agent known. Tue
smoking should be repeated if the in
fammation increases or the pain re-
turns"
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1881-08-10
PxEESy

How many suffer torture day after day. making
life burden and robbing existence OF all pleasure
owing to the secret suffering from Piles. Yet re-
lief Is ready to the hand OF almost any one who
will use systematically the remedy that has per-
manently cured thousands SIMMONS LIyEH
REGULATOR, Is no drastic violent purge but u
tin utsf.n fr.r rs..ftr
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1881-08-10
$50 0REaTHy

Nothing IL 20 unpleasant nothing so common as
bad breath, ard In nearly every ease 1t comes
from the stomach, and can be so easily corrected
II you Will take Simmons Liver Regulator. DO not
neglect so sure remedy for this rcplIlslve ds0r-
der. 1t will also improve your Appetite, Complex
ion and General Health
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1881-08-10
SICE HEaDaCHE !.

This distressing affiiction occurs most frequent
ly. The disturbance Of the stomach, arising from
the mperfcctly digcstcd contents causes "A severe
pain In the head, accompanied with disagreeable
nausea, and this constitutes what Is popularly
known as Sick Headache.
MANUFACTURER ONLY BY
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1881-08-10
VARIATION OF THE RULE
IN SHELLEYS CASE"

AT York, Pennsylvania, recently died
A gentleman who, in his lifetime. was tied
With bonds matrimonial unto wife;
(The reason, perhaps, he departed this life.) .
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1881-08-10
j, III. ZEII.IN & CO..
DIRECTIONS,

PHILADELPHIA. PA,
22jeIyl SOLD BY ALI. DRUGGISTS.
The Daily Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Or.) 1876-1883, 1881-02-09
ARCSRHRNTS.
HILLS XARIErIKs-

Geo. Hill, proprietor. Fred Gere, man
ager.-The entertainment will conclude
with "Dr. Fowler or ~MeSmerism,- and
the new wedding party by NickerSOn
and Staley. The evenings amuSe.
ments To commence with the ever pOpu.
lar first part. NickeTSOn and Staley aS
the funny men, Gere interlOcutOr. Miss
Morrison in new ballads. MOrice i'm VO-
cal gems, Mr.. Richard Bruce with his
drum solo. Staley with his champion
jig, Gere with his German neXcentrIcitieS.
and very pathetic ballad by very pa
thetic individual. whose name pathetic
ally Is NickerSOn. Nine people OH the
first part, and an exhibition equal Ia
any ON the coast. Mr.. Hill invites
criticism Come and see for yourself.
New orchestral selections and new
music on the grand stand under
She leadership of Mr.. George Lambert
At go T.. Al. The entertainment will
begin at Z 20 r. NJ. Entrance on Benton
street. Private boxes on ChenamuS.
The Daily Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Or.) 1876-1883, 1881-02-09
The New Pulsometer

Messrs. Arndt and Ferchen have
placed in position at their machine
shop, foot of Washington street, a
new PulsOmeter steam pump which by
recent improvements stands unrivaled
and unequaied over any other steam
pump in the market. The pump ON
exhibition Is a number four. The
diameter Of each working cylinder Is
= inches; height Of pump 29 inches;
space occupied 2Oxl7 inches; size Of
steam supply one-half inch; size Of
suction and discharge pipes . inches.
The Pulsometer viii pump 10 gallons
per minute, and viii raise water or
other liquids to a hight Of from 80 to
100 feet. IL will also raise IN cOmbi-
nation with water from 10 10 30 per
cent Of mud, sand, gravel, pulp, etc,
and the wear ia this operation Is small
and 10y no means 50 destructive rs in
the case of other pumps. This, with
the fact that when the PulsUmeter IS
worn it can be repaired sithout skilled
labor, Will, Of necessity, make the
Pulsumeter most popular. It will also
work under water. IL has no me-
chanical arrangement 10 absorb power,
no pistons. no glands, No stntting
boxes. no concentrating rods, 40 cams,
no cccentrics, no oil, mo- care, and no
exhaust, whereby the steam is made
to do double duty. Messrs. Arndt and
Ferchen are agents, and the machine
can be seen in operation al their
works.