The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1881-11-25
Ulster Irish EEunlOr.

From Harper's Drawer for December.l
| The people of Ulster, in the north Of
| Ireland, who represent that sturdy Scotch
/ Irish clement which has done so much fol
/ the Middle and Southern States of America
are distinguished by habits of thought,
character, and utterance from the Celtic
race which inhabIts the rest OF the island.
They are n sedate, shrewd, plodding race,
masculine alike in their virtues and in their
/ faults, frank and simple in their ways, and
very steadfast in their friendships. They
are inferior to the CcltS in courtesy OF
manner, but they improve greatly on ac-
quaintance, from their kindness and strict
adherence to truth. They are not magma
| tive or traditional like the Celt, partly be-
cause their affection strikes no deep root in
Irish history, but they have a most real
possession OF the present being the most
adaptable and practical Of men, able, I'M
like the Celt, TO stand alone, and to stand
firmly on their own feet. The impression
generally prevails that Ulster men are def
cicnt in wit and humor. This is mistake.
They are rather grave and stiff in their
manner. but they have little OF that dour-
ness" which is supposed to belong to the
Scotch. They certainly have not the spoh-
taneity, the extravaganza, the freshness, OF
Celtic hiunor, which upsets our gravity on
the instant. Their humor, in fact, isIather
dry, caustic, and suggestive. The speaker
in Ulster is hardly conscious of saying any
thing calculated to amuSe, and laughs but
moderately at his own Joke. Let us give
few "reminiscences of Ulster humor
In county Down, countryman, whose
old horse Lad suddenly died, took the skin
to :. Cfnher. The tanner said in the Scotch
dialect peculiar TO the district 81 Gamma
gle you full price for this skin; it's over
sma'." The reply was: "That's quare.
Tie aup horse wore it twenty years and
mair, and niver made any complent about
il being over sma'."
An old man married young wife, who
after some time rued her bargain and gave
him poison. The doctor who was called in
whispered his suspicious to his aged pa
tient. The young wife, soon after coming
to the bedside, said beseechingly: "Oh,
Bob, do we know me, dear?" "No," said
he, ''but am beginning to know yc."
A drunken fellow, belonging to Bangor,
in county Down, fell asleep in the grave
yard into which he had wandered over
night. He was suddenly reused from
sleep by the sound of the early postman's
horn OF trumpet, which he mistook for the
archangePs trumpet on the resurrection
morn, and said: "What mere n one
risen here but me! 1t speaks bad for
Bangor"
A hardy post-boy, with bare throat,
was driving his vehicle along an exposed
road in the teeth OF biting wind. A
passenger suggested, as the driver had no
neck-cloth of any sort, that he should at
least fasten his shirt 1t the neck with pin.
"a pin! !" was the reply; "sure there's
not hate in PIN"
An old sexton "a care-taker Of a church
and church-yard III county Armagh was
asked by his dying wife, candy, dear,
haze Just one request to make before die"
"What is it, Be;ty?" 81 wish you TO
carry me over to my own country, in
Tyrone, and bury me with my father and
mother" The journey was sixty miles.
"Well, Betty" was the answer, "Pll try
you here first in our own Westinghouse
green, and IL We give any trouble I'll take
/ ye up and bury We in Tyrone"
A minister who was perhaps not too
careful in his habits was induced by his
friends TO take Me teetotal pledge. His
health appeared 70 suffer, and his doctor
ordered him TO take one glass OF punch
daily. "Oh!" said he, 81 dare not.
Peggy, my old housekeeper, would tell the
whole parish" "When do you shavesv
the doctor asked. "In the morninc.v
Then" said the doctor, "shaye
at night; and when Peggy brings
you up your hot water you can
take your glass OF punch just before
going TO bed" The minister afterward
appeared TO improve in health and spirits.
The doctor met Peggy soon after, and said
"Pm glad to hear, Peggy, that your master
Is better" "Indeed, sir, he's better, but
his brains affected; there's something
wrong VII his mind" "Howi" "Why,
doctor, he used to shave at night before
going TO bed, but now he shayes in the
morn, he SLAVES before dinner, he shaves
after dinner, he shaves at night-he's aye
Shawn"