Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1881-02-23
FUNNYGRAPHS.

balls III their hands the other day were
not arrested for carrying CONCEALED YEA,
pons.-NeaO Orleans Picayune.
Our dairyman Gin January): "Ere's
the pump troze up now! And yet if
milk rises a a'penny quart British pub.
lie grumbles. '-PUach.
AN exchange asks: "When does a.
lock get ripe enough to pick?" As soon
as the spring opens, of course.-Syrn-
cuse Standard.
A WOMAN in Michigan had her ear SO
badly frozen that it dropped off. This
style of ear-drop will not probably be-
come popular. -Steubenuilze Herald.
6 Is that mule tame?" asked farmer
OF an American dealer in domestic quad
rupeds. "He's tame enough in front. -
answered the dealer.
The Herald has an article headed
" Frauds in Butter We haven't read
it, but suppose it refers to substitution
OF jute for the genuine article of hair
Lowell citizen.
"WHAT's your wife's particular little
game?" asked a friend Of henpecked
husband "When she gets thoroughly
mad" he answered, "its draw poker
BrooE(y1a Eagle.
In speaking of the Altoona, Pa, fat
man, who died recently, an exchange
says his legs refused their Office
Those legs had never lived in Ohio
NeoO York Commercial AdUertiser.
SAID a Court street man, ssI don't
know whether the world will come to an
endin May or not; but I shan't pay any
debts before then and take the chance OF
avoiding it"-Bostoa Post.
ALL the Florida oranges have been
destroyed by frost. If they are the kind
OF " Florida oranges " the boys sell ON
the train, we are most awfully glad of it.
Huntington Hna0keye.
"THERE is no disgrace in being poor,
we are told And we're bowling glad of
it, for there are enough other disadvan-
tages about it without that one.-Bos-
ton Post.
WBAT pleasant thought it is that the
luxury of ice, which we enjoyed so dear
ly last summer is now within the means
of the poorest OF the poor-Boston
Transcript.
THE wild goose that struck the light
on the Nova Scotia lighthouse must
have had defective few.-NceO York
Commercial AGUertiser He collided
with beak-on straight. philadelphia
| Bulletin.
am a afraid b baby gy Is d very T Rsnrsy ba
does die, mamma. he won't go to the
bad place" "Why, Charley, how can
you know that?" ooh, / know he can't,
mamma; he's got no teeth to gnash.''
THE following conversation took place
between kind-hearted lady and small
boy who politely swung open the gate
for her. ''Ah! what nice, polished,
polite little boy you are! ] suppose you
live about here?' You he-I don't. -
81 WONDER, uncle" said a little girl.
" if men viii ever yet live to be 500 or
/ 1000 years old ?'' 'sNo, my child, re-
sponded the old man; 60 that was tried
once, and the race got SO bad the world
had to be drowned. "-E!cchange.
EMMA d. asks us g Do you think it
right for girl to sit on young mans
lap, even if she is engaged to him 90
And we say: IF it was our girl Oh our
lap, yes; it it was another girl on our
lap, yes; but if it was our girl and an
other fellows lap, never
LOVE at zero: Two sulky lovers sat
with averted heads for half an hour
without speaking a word. At last he
ventured to ask: CHOW do you like it,
my dear?'' 'First rate, said she, sit
keeps my back warm. "-BrookGyaa
Eagle.
CIRCUMSTANCES alter costumes: eyes"
said the young lady who was going
slegh-riding, to her maid 81 will put
~, ,,,1 mr. 41,;o11 ox,o,. Oh T
don't care about my cardinal hose Mr.
Griff is q careful driver. He never mp
sets. "-BOstOn Post.
MEDICAL advice: sc My son is troubled
with a weakness in one of his legs; what
shall I do for it ?" inquiries an anxious
parent at Berea, O. Perhaps the short
est way would be to see the girl and ask
her to sit on the other knee for awhile. =
Chicago Tribune.
A COAL merchant was discharging Il
man who had been working for him,
when the emplcye said, "Wel, I've
learned one thing while working for
you. ''@ '.Well, what is it, you scamp %
"Pve learned that 1, 700 pounds make
ton. oil City Derrick
"WEAT shall we do with our daugf-
ters?' began the lecturer; lady far to-
look upon, by the way. Judging from
what see before me" said modest
appearing, middle-aged gentleman in
the audience, 81 shouldn't suppose
there need be any trouble about that
question. A question more to the point
would be, have you enough Of them to
go round ?"-BostOa transcript.
An indianapolis superintendent OF the
telegraph recently sent word to an oper-
ator at distant station to mend the
break there. "Cant go out; storm toe
bad was the answer EStorm or NO
storm, fix the thing!'' "Hain't any
ladder" SEQ out and climb the pole. y
Cant climb ''Why in h can't You
climb pole?" "I'm woman. y
"Then hire two boys And SO the
break was repaired. Free Press.