Arizona weekly citizen., 1881-10-02
TELEaRAPHIc ERRORS.

Doubtless many readers of the press have noticed egregrous blunders Tn telegraphic reports. And yet only fraction of those occurring in transmits sion appear in print The telegraphic editor has to stand between them and the reader. There is hardly more dlfii- cult position on paper. A man to sue cessfully edit telegraph wants to have thorough knowledge of everything. lie wants to know the location of every place in the world where anything Is likely to transpire and the name of every individual man, woman and child that is liable at any time to be- come subjects of a telegraphlc re- port. Some of the blunders that do escape the careful eye of the telegraph editor and the proof reader are very lu- dicrous. We reproduce a few that have been treasured up by the craft, and out of which they derive considerable amusement to partially compensate them for the labor they have all of them ex- pended in trying to interpret unintel- hgible dispatches:
 In telegraphy, the most freqSent cause of error is the running of words togeth- CT. or unnecessary dividing. "Colored man" has been transformed into "Col. Ordman:" "Addie Pratt" into "Addie r. Ratt;" Theodore Rose" into "The odor of roses:" "YOur son is dead Be at depot. Will arrive tonight" was made up into Your son is dead beat. The deuot will arrive tonight "Do nothing about the hotel" turned up Do not hang about the hotel" A Kalamazoo iudge telegraphed his wife, Have found Garland. Won't be home for week" She read the message, Have found the girl. and won't be home for week,
 which doubtless demanded an explana- tions when he reached home. minis ter received a message, Come home and marry me. Start Thursday" Inquiry revealed it was Mary M- E. Start Thursday" A gentleman telegraphed for his rortrait to be forwarded by s1- press. It was delivered "send post rail by express" A young man detalned from his parish by the incapaclty of hls presbytery to Ordain him telegraphed the deacons, "Presbytery lacked quorum to ordain." It reached the astonished deacons, "Presbytery tackled worm on Adam" The discomfited deacons finally concluded it was the minister's facetious way of announcing his marriage, and proceeded to provide double lodgings.
 Follow a few for which the intelligent compositor" is responsible: Quoting Thompson, a writer said, "A little, round,
 fat, oily man of God" It was trans formed into "A little, round set oily man of Tod" Ben Putnam, in flight of elooueuee descriptive of his wife's ere
 nation, wrote of her as flying on the couch of balsam boughs bathed Tn the
 the glory of incandescense. "Bathed
 WAS made "baked" and 1t so appeared Tn the Cincinnati Enquirer. Skating car nivals are well attended and very popu- lar this season" appeared "Starving can nibals are well attired and very popular this season" A certain railroad official a Milwaukee paper attempted to say was
 blockaded, appeared in cold type as
 "blockhead"
 An Iowa editor announced that cer- tain patron of his was thieving as usual, though he declares the ''copy" read
 thriving" Mrs. Clemmer's poem con- taining the line reading: Thus Curtis
 writes, rare Sidney of the pen"-read
 rare kidney" "The dawn of new world" in an editorial was twisted into l Thistle down of a new mold; and Al ! ter all, Americans are generous and for | giving" into After all Americans are ! Germans and foreigners" A St. Loms compositOr, who builded better than he ! knew, transformed a donation" into a
 "damnation" party.
 ''Ihe following are some of the famll- ] jar typographical errors: That of the Herald proof-reader, who understood the | line of the hymn, "Harki The Herald angels singr 80 as to give due credit to his own paper; of the Worlds report of | a political meetinc-"the shouts (for of Gath's Fourth of July oration about the effect of the immortal declaratlou penned by Thomas Jefferson at whl' h | Thomas reeled," he was made to say instead of thrones reeled; local re- porter represented Talmadge as reading the well known hymn thus, "Nrarer by God, to Theer Instead of tbe fiat
 of the Almighty" New York paper spoke of the fist of the Almighty" An other declared that the Meeker massa- ere was caused, not as the dispatch said -by farmers pulling down the Indians tents and corrals," but "the Indians beets and carrots" Out west the Obitu- ary of d right reverend "prelate" was described as the death of pirate; ln
 a sermon a clergyman was announced as preaching about ga woman clothed III scantity," instead of sanctity; and the subject, "Infiuence of Rome on the For
 nation of Christiany," got into print as
 the Influence of Rum on the Digestion of Humanity" "Ne'r to face a gander'
 for 'ne'er to fade again" Died of the ! "Dined off the turtle" ''Poten- ! tates of Europe of Europe.
 The enemy were repulsed with great slaughter" The enemy, etc, great | laughter Hour which cOmeth' '-"Hen | which croweth." Famous in battle"-
 "Fond of his bottle" Found dead with | q long word in his mouth (what the pa tieat, long-suffering court stenographeI often wishes would happen to the well wound-up witness t-"FOund dead wltl ! a long sword in his mouth" A Sunday school catalogue speaKs of one of its ! books, "The Christian Private" as "The ! Christian Pirate" A speaker at con- vention said, Most of you are big-head'
 ed men of brains" with more truth than
 he realized the type setter said 'pig- i headed"