The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1881-12-02
JOHNS LITTLE JOKE.

Phil Wheeler, in his characteristic way,
finishing the speech with prolonged
whistle.
What's the matter, Uncle Phil ?"
"Hey?"
"What's the matter ?"
"Why, your Aunt Susan just bought
another bureau y
The speakers were Mr.. Philip Wheel
er, commonly called Uncle Phil, and his
handsome, devil-may-care nephew, John
Langdon. Uncle Phil was standing un-
der the big brown horse-chestnut tree,
whiting a new handle for his hammer,
when a hay-wagon, containing bureau,
stopped before the gate.
"Whose bureaus that ?" demanded
Uncle Phil.
cts for Miss Wheeler" was the an
swer. "She bought it down at Squire
Thomas's auction"
"Well, / snum -
John Langdon, just coming from the
wood-house, armed cap-a-pie, with rod
and lines, heard the exclamation and in
CURED the cause.
$50 Aunt Susan has bought another
bureau, has she ?" he remarked, after a
moments scrutiny of that awful piece
of household furniture. 81 say,
Uncle Phil, where is she going to put
it?"
"Hey?" calculated Uncle Phil, star.
ing hard at his nephew over his silver
bowed specs.
"Where is she going to put it ?"
Uncle Phil shook his head and re-
newed his whiting.
"Im blamed if L know" he said al
last. 81 reckon twill have to set atop
of sumthing, for L don't believe there's
floor room for it in the house."
1--WE got three in my room now, and
/ shall protest against fourth" laughed
John. "Aunt Susan" addressing that
lady, who appeared on the piazza tc
superintend the removal of her newly-ac.
CURED treasure from the cart to the
house, "where are you going to put
that thing 2"
"Well, John, if you want it, why o,
course you can have it; but did think
ia put it in the buttery, it would be so
handy"
by all MEANS" interrupted John !;
the buttery is just the place for it
three are as many as | can occupy, in.
asmuch as only brought a handbag
along on my little visit. If you were to
give me fourth, l should be reduced
to the necessity of remaining in bed in
order to use it. ;"
Oh, go away, you rogue" cried his
aunt, looking lovingly at him "and
stop laughing at your old auntie. Here
you, III alarm to the driver. "Take
care, there, you'll have that leg off |
Hold ON to the glass NJ! my! How
careless you be p
After much anxiety on Aunt Susan's
part. hair breadth escapes Oh the bu.
reau's and. a good deal of harmless
swearing, such as Il snum - "by COL.
ly p ETC., on Uncle Phils, the old bu.
reau was at last deposited in the buttery,
where it took up just three inches more
room than it could with any degree OF
propriety be accommodated with. Con.
sequently, being of firm and unyield-
ing nature, sharp AMI uncompromising
corner was thrust obtrusively and Of
fendlngly out, against which unwary
toes and unfortunate shins would in all
probability he frequently punished.
But Aunt Susan was not the woman
to go forth to meet trouble, and no
shadow rested upon her placid brow,
nor misgivings annoyed or made afraid.
The bureau was bargain, aud that
sublime fact shed such halo of glory
over its somewhat battered surface rs to
completely put to rout the Inconvenience
of its position.
Next morning Aunt Susan rose be-
times, sent for the woman who lived on
the back road, and enjoyed day of
6 b. 49, 1.,xx IN,
which she caused to be brought forth
from garret, cellar and hidden store
rooms treasures collected from auctions
innumerable, were dear to her heart,
though denominations in the eyes of Tn.
Gle Phil, who wandered around amid
the household gods in bitterness OF
spirit.
John watched the cleaning" opera
ton with an amused smile curling the
corners of his handsome mouth, till at
length bright idea struck him.
"By Jove," he muttered, CT believe
we might do it.
Five minutes later he might have been
seen in earnest confab with Uncle Phil,
who grinned and nodded his head in evil
dent satisfaction and full approval OF the
plan, whatever it was.
The day ended with great success in
the cleaning line. Before shutdown an
array of spotlcss mahogany, brass, Chi
M, britannia, etc., ETC., might have been
seen ornamenting Uncle Pills front
yard-nrticles which the waning rays OF
the sun touched and caused to reflect
ike polished mirrors. Soon everything
was replaced, the old woman departed,
and quiet brooded over the old farm
house once more.
Next day John was to return home to
c., and Aunt Susan was to accom-
pany him, for the double purpose Of
paying her sister-John's mother
visit, and witnessing the ceremony which
should give to John wife.