Middletown transcript., 1881-06-24
THE BUREAU DRAWER.


drawer which will move out and in
without hitch will not only secure a
fortune, but will attain to an eminence
in history not second to the greatest
warriors: There is nothing, perhaps,
always excepting a stove-pipe), that
will so eXasperate a man as a bureau
drawer. 1t is deceptive article. 1t
will start off all right then it pauses
at one end while the other swings in as
far as it can. 1t is the custom to throw
the whole weight of the person against
the end which sticks. IF any one has
succeeded in closing a drawer by so
doing, he will confer favor by send
ing his address to this office. We have
seen men do this several times, and
then run from the other side Of the
room and jump with both feet against
the obstinate end. This doesn't ap-
pear to answer the purpose any. but
is very satisfying.
Mrs. Holcomb was trying to shut a
bureau drawer Saturday morning; but
it was an abortiye effort. Finally she
burst into tears. Then Mr.. Holcomb
told her to stand aside and see him do
it. You see, +" observed Mr.. Holcomb
with quiet dignity, ''that the drawer
is all awry. That's what makes it
stick. Now anybody but woman
would see at once that to move
drawer standing in that position
would be impossible l now bring out
this other end even with the other
so then | take hold of both knobs.
and with an equal pressure from each
hand, the drawer moves easily in.
See p The dreadful thing moved
readily forward for distance of nearly
two inches; then it stopped abruptly.
"Ah!" observed Mrs. Holcomb, begin
ming to look happy again.
Mr.. Holcomb very properly made no
response to this ungenerous expression;
but he gently worked each end of the
drawer to and fro, but without sue
cess. Then he pulled the drawer all
the way out, adjusted it properly, and
started it carefully back it moved as
if it were on wheels. Then it stopped.
Mr. Holcomb looked solemn. ''Perhaps
you amt got the ends adjusted" sug-
gested the unhappy Mrs. Holcomb.
Mr.. Holcomb made no reply. Were it
not for an increased flush in his face.
it might have been doubted if he heard
the remark at all. He pushed harder
at the drawer than was apparent to
her, but it didn't move. He tried to
bring it back again, but it wouldn't
come.
Are you sure you got every thing
out of there you want ?n he finally
asked, with desperate effort to appear
composed. "Oh that's what you are
stopping for, is it But you needn't.
l have got what l wanted you can
shut it right up" Then she smiled
very wicked smile. He grew redder in
the face, and set his teeth firmly to-
gether, and put all his strength to the
obdurate drawer, while hard look
cleaned in his eye. But it did not
move. He pushed harder. ''Ooh !
Ooh ~ he groaned. ''I'm afraid you
haven't got the ends adjusted she
suggested.
A scowl settled on his face, while he
strained every muscle i'll the pressure.
''What dumb fool put this drawer to-
gether, I'd like to know ?'' he snapped
out. She made no reply; but she felt
that she had not known such happiness
since she stood before the altar with
him, with orange blossoms in her hair.
'sI'd like to know what in thunder
you've been doing to this drawer, Jane
Holcomb ?'' he jerked out. Il amt
done anything to it, she replied. II
know better,'' he asserted. "Well,
know what you please for all care,'
she sympathetically retorted.
The cords swelled upon his neck, and
the corners of his mouth grew whittier.
''I'll shut the drawer, or I'll know the
reason of it - he shouted and he
jumped up and gave it a passionate
kick. "Oh, my p she exclaimed. He
dropped on his knees again, and grabbed
hold of the knobs, and swayed and
pushed at them with all his might.
But it didn't move. "Why in heavens
name don't you open the window? Do
you want to smother me p he passion
ately cried. 1t was warm, dreadfully
warm. The perspiration stood in great
lrops on his face, and ran down his
neck.
The birds sang merrily at the door,
and the glad sunshine lay in golden
sheets npon the earth, but he did not
notice them. He would have given
i've dollars if he had not touched the
lccursed bureau. He would have given
en if he had never been born. He
hrew all his weight on the knobs. 1t
moved then. 1t went to its place with
! suddenness that threw him from his
balance, and brought his burning face
lgainst the bureau with force enough
o skin his nose, and fill his eyes with
water to a degree that was binding.
Then he went out on the back stoop
md sat for an hour scrowling at the
Y. Erening Post.
HABITS of temperance, economy,
ruthfulness, honesty, generosity, once
enprafted nnon the Iifa of