Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1881-07-14

s9- A good one is told of worthy deacon
in the city of S., in Northern Ohio. The
deacon was the owner and overseer Of large
pork. packing. establishment 1t was his duty
to stand at the head of the scalding trough,
watch in hand, to time the length of the scald,
crying "Hog in" when the just slaughtered
hog was to be thrown into the troughs, and
Hog out when the watch told three minutes.
One week the press of business compelled the
packers to unusually hard labor, and Satur-
day night found the deacon completely ex-
hausted. Indeed, he was almost sick the next
morning when church time came, but he was
leading member, and it WAS his duty to at
tend the usual Sabbath service if he could.
He went. The occasion was one of unusual
soemnity, as revival was in progress. The
minister preached sermon we'll calculated
for effect. His peroration was climax of
great beauty. Assuming the attitude of one
intently listening, he recited to the breathless
auditory:
"Hark I! they whisper; Angels say"
Hog in :" came from the deacon's pew in
stentorian voice. The astonished audience
turned their attention from the preacher
He went on, however, unmoved-
"Sister spirit come away"'
"Hog out" shouted the deacon-"tally four"
This was too much for the preacher and
audience. The latter smiled, some snickered
audibly, while few boys broke for the door,
to "split their sides" laughing, outside, within
full hearing. The preacher was disconnected
entire y-sat down-arose again--pronounc-
ed a brief benediction, and dismissed the any
thing else than solemn minded hearers. The
deacon soon came to realizing sense of his
unconscious interlude, for his brethren repri-
manded him severely; while the boys caught
the infection of the joke, and every possible
occasion afforded an opportunity for them to
say, Hog in !' "Hog out !'
WORSE THAN THAT.-Some years ago as
Capt. B., of the steamer Water Witch, was
passing down the Arkansas River, they had
pressing need of an ak, and not having one
on board, at the first landing the boat round
ed to, the captain dispatched an Irishman
to the nearest cabin in search of one. Pretty
soon Patrick returned with an ak but when,
after haying used it, the Captain ordered
him to return it, he refused point-blank.
But what is the reason?" urged Captain
B..
"Sure then an I'll tell ye. When I went
up to the cabin saw white woman, an l
axed her perlitely for the loan of an ak,
and she telled me to ak her husband in the
corn.feld. So, yer honor, went up to the
corn-feld, and l saw big black nager a
standing there, and ses to him, ses l, AN
where's your masther?" Ses he, ."I'm the
masther;" an ses |, "I'm afther having the
loan of an ak for a few minutes" Ses he,
go down to the house and get it, Well, l
got the ak, Captain, and as I wint by the
door ses 1 to myself, "bejabers III give her
small bit of me mind" So pokes my head
in the door, and ses I, "ain't ye ashamed of
yerself to be having black nager for hus.
band! "An' ses she, Law no I had
sister done worse than that )" an ses "what
was that, sure?" an ses she, "She married an
Irishman." An, be dad, I'll be afther spak-
ing no more 20 the baste, Capting, begin yer
honor's pardon.
The "Capting" laughingly excused him
from so unhappy duty.