Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1881-01-06
An AnbIGeXter.

There is reporter at tho Times otio, who
! writes With equal rapidly with either hand.
He is an ambidexter, and bold, bad one at
that. When there is rush Of work at the
Office. and the devil is shouting ''c,pee' like
fend incarnatc, this useful reporter sits down
at his desk 10 full company front, aud, with
psnci in each hand, sings of local happenings
by the yard. He writes on Two sheets at once'
and don't let his righ! hand know what bis
left hand is driviDg at, but it's driving oil the
same' ........
Yesterday he got liuls off his mental base.
and attempted to wIito up dog light and
wedding in high life at the same time. He got
things mixed. His hands ran clear awsy with
the gay matter 10 his skull, and thirg s, became
terribly confused. This is the way his ittmI
telescoped each other.
"At Graos church, last night the nuptials OF
Mr.. Thomas johnson and Miss ulia L1wteIc,
were celebrated in most magnificent style. A
ccstIy floral horse shoe being directly over tho
altar, and when the yellow cur saw the flames
of anger dartiDg from the eyes of the brln-
die fyste he opened with The impressive strains
of the wedding march. As tho handsome oou'
pie walked down the aisle the excited crowd
began to got frantic aud there ware Ycls OF Sick
'em, Bull AT him now. ToTsar, as the
spectators b:came interested 10 the fight The
bride was elegantly sttirod in pure white OF the
mcst costly fabrics. and she wore the tradition
al white veil and wreath of orange tl3ssoms had
him by the neck, aud his tongue began to lol
out and bis eyes 10 turn somersauis ss II 10 tho
customary black dress suit, white gloves, cars
cropped close to his head. He was dsrepu
table locking dog in the beginning. and ought
to have been whipped for being so homely. lie
s of good family and engaged in one OF the
most extensive manufacturing enterprses 10 the
West. But the yellow cur eeemtd 10 to get
ting the advantage, as he had DOW succeeded 10
getting death grip 90 the throat OF the blg
brindle, and whom he tendcrly kissed the bride
sccordipg to an ancient custom his beck was
covered with mud aud hi, eff hin! leg was ter.
ribIy chswed up. -
Among the costly presents received by the
happy pair were fine grand piano from the
father OF the bride hair had been scalded from"
his back and one eyeseemed TO have been struck.
with an auger. After short bridal tour tho
happy pair will settle down to one o. the hard
est fought battles the reporter has yet Witnessed,
and it was difficult to tell which d9z haa psen
49, after having been bitterly contested for IN
hour and q. half wera driven to the residence OF
the brides parents, and he was tasen to his
owners home in wheelbarro~. He will PROD.
ably never recover, and if ho does will ba totally,
blind. Besides being permanently lane In the
left hind leg, the beautiful bride rcoaived the
c CONGRATULATIONS Of host Of friends. Ihe groom
Is one of our most promising young men, and
| his owner breads the possibility of losing him,
IS he fears he can never replace him. Tha
father of the bride is one OF our weaItnle:t
merchants, and the yellow fSste |imped Gb with
knowing look in his eye and saucy curtin
his tail as much rs to say: Who else wants TO
\ try me2'
The smbidexter was surmsr;ly "f'od ~
Kansas City Journal. s.