The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1881-09-23
The Etiquette Of Introductions.

No doubt the subject of introducing
two ladies To each other, both of whom
are residents of the same city, is one OF
which taerc may be two opinions
There are often grave reasons why
leader of society may not wish to know
cushing and vulgar and pretentiou!
interloper-and there are always these
two classes in every city. The sterI
interpreters Of the laws of fashion have
therefore decided that one lady shall
not introduce two other ladies who hap
pen to meet in her parlor if the partie!
are both IS at home" in the same town
This law, ct course, should prevail
to some small extent, as at five
O'Clock tea or at q large reception; there
are many reasons why q hostess car
not be introducing any one except hel
daughter. sister, or her guest for whom
the party is given. There are many
exclusive people who. because they
know Mrs. Brown, hesitate to know
Mrs. Smith; and there are excellent
women who if they 60 to Mrs. Browns
and are introduced to Mrs. Smith.
they will never 60 to Mrs. Browns
again.
These ladies forget. however, the
Continental fashion of speaking while
in Mrs. Browns parlOr to Mrs. Smith
even, and of dropping her Immediately
after if they wish to. In Europe the
ro6f-tree is considered as an introducer
aud every one while under it is in duty
bound to host and hostess to make
himself as agreeable as he can while he
is guest. At dinner party in stiff
and formal London gentleman steps
up and begins to talk to a lady who is
an utter stranger, and often takes her
down to dinner, without an introduce
ton. The ladies chat after dinner with
the freedom of old friends. The next
day the same people may meet if
there has been no Introductory as
strangers in the Park, and pass with
out a bow.
This is as it should be. But the very
great awkwardness occurs in the United
States of one lady speaking to another
and yet receiving no answer. A con-
spicious example of this rudeness hap
pened last winter in private parlor in
New York, where the company were
seated to listen to professional concert.
Pray can you tell me who the pianist
is?" said a leader of society to a young
lady near her. The young lady looked
embarrassed and did not reply. Having
seen deaf-mute IN the room whom she
knew. the lady Immediately concluded
that this young lady also belonged to
that class of persons, and was very
much surprised when. later, a lady
brought up the young lady and intro
duced her.
Il could not speak to you, because l
had not been presented" said the young
lady ''but the pianist is Mr.. B"
az. however could speak to you, al
though we had never been introduced"
said the older lady, "and from your
deaf and dumb" This rebuke was
very much deserved, for if the young
lady did not know better it was time
she was taught.
Society depends upon its social sooth-
savers for all that is good in it. A disa-
greeable woman can always find prece-
dence for being formal and chilling;a
fine-tempered woman can always find
plenty of reasons for benediction rath-
err than curse to her acquaintance.
Etiquette can be widely interpreted.
As forsome forms of introduction, the
simplest are the best. Agentleman is
always brought to and presented to a
lady, and younger person is presented
to an older. Mrs. Brown allow me
to introduce Mr.. JONES'" is as good
form as any; the simple mention of the
names is considered all that is neces-
sary. A lady should always introduce
her husband as Mr.. Brown { or
whatever it may beg, not as g my hus-
band" although she is permitted to
say "my SON. or ''my daughter"
If her husband has a title. she is ex-
pected to give him the advantage of the
Captain or Commodore, /" which our
simple form of titular propriety allows.
To address the President we say, "Mr.
President" and his wife should always
say Sc Allow me to introduce the
President to YOU" The modesty of
Mrs. Grant, however. never allowed
her to call her many-titled husband
but " Mr.. Grant," which had
III ACt SooC a CCA Cdlu SWccIucSS dUOtc
all etiquette.
Introductions in the homely German
are universal, everybody
the name of the lady to
whom he is talking to Everybody else; and
among our German citizens we often see
q gentleman conveying a lady through
crowded assemblage. introducing her
to everybody. 1t is a simple, cordial,
and pleasant thing enough, and we can
not see how bow and smile can in
jure any body, particularly as the &C
quaintance can readily stop there.
But no person of much heart and of
much mind need feel afraid to talk and
make herself agreeable, whether intro
tuced or not. at friends house.
Even if she meets with the rebuff of
ieat-and-dumb neighbor, she need not
feel heart-broken; she is right, and the
silent one is wrong.
In seeking introductions for ourselves
while we need not be shy of making a
first visit or asking for an introduction,
If there be no blot on our 'scutcheon,"
we should not advocate push" There
are instincts in the humblest under
which will tell us where to
draw the line. If person is socially
more prominent than ourselves, more
in any way, we should
not be violently anxious to take the