The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1881-07-15
THE CHROMIOUE.
squiggin. DnbbIe. I'm Inc Elmo

sauiggins Dnbbles ian the Fine Arts.
You haven't seen that new invention.
the chromique, have you? Well, it is q
KIND OF second cousin to a chrome. 1t
looks like plate of ground glass, and in
the center Is "A circular place that looks
like transparent glass; but it isn't, for
when the eye is applied to it a lovely
colored picture appears. Squiggins
boards mp town, and is very moral
man. He is devoted to his wife, and she.
poor thing, has always supposed that
the sun rose and set in his mild blue
eyes. Last week she went away to see
her mother, and it was while she was
gone that the chromique peddler called
at Squiggins' room. The agent ex-
planned how nicely the chromique
worked, and Squiggins vas delighted.
but said that he boarded with curious
kind of landlady, and she might grum-
bic even If he took out one of her panes
OF glass and put in 81, 600 oil painting !;
but the peddler knew his business, and,
seeing that Squiggins was quite taken
with the new invention, he finally per-
slladed him to let him set pane with
the chromique in it in the old transon
over the door.
So SQuiggins selected mild and love.
ly picture of Pharaoh's daughter finding
little Moses, and was so delighted with
1t that he paid the agent in advance and
then hurried down town to work. Now
tins agent took an occasional drink, and
50 eiated was he at his good luck that lie
went out and took about four too many,
and when he got back to the room he
couldn't tell photo of the Niagara falls
from wood-cut of man with sprink.
hng-pot, and barely remembering that
there was woman in the picture that
Squiggins picked out, he made wild
dive at the lot and fished out picture
OF an actress In a very high low suit
(high in the skirt and low in the neck,
that was intended only for bar and club
rooms, and fixing this In nicely he lett
the house. tI.tt
The landladv, meanwhile, had had her
suspicious aroused. She could not un-
derstand this grOund-glass business, and
was convinced that Squiggins was up to
some mischief while his poor, dear wife
was away, and had put up the glass to
keep her from finding it out She did
not propose to have any room in her
house that she could not see into, SO, af-
ter trying her usual place, the key-hole,
and seeing nothing, she mounted a chair
and looked through the little place in
the transom. The boarders Say that
the yell she gave startled even the fat
and lazy people In the institution, and
every woman in the bouse came running
to look at her, and, to crown all, Mr..
Squiggins' wife, who came four days
earlier than she was expected to, came
rrancing up the stairs.
"What is it?" yelled she, taking
leaps that would have paralyzed kan
CARGO.
"What?" yelled the landlady, "iust
look at the braZen-faced thing that your
husband has brought into this house,
nay house, my boarding house ! Look,
you poor deceived creature, and never
trust man again.
Mrs. S. looked, and then she yelled, and
this hurried up Sauiggins, who was just
coming home, and who, thinking from
the yells that some one was beating his
wife, came up stairs even faster than she
did 4; but, instead of embracing him, his
wife flew at him like tiger, while the
other boarders pointed ut the glass and
yelled Shame He caught their
gestures and yelled: Its cromique,"
but his wife only yelled the louder and
scratched and shrieked Eyes, know
she's acomique Some variety singer, IN
warrant, and heaven knows what would
have become OF pooc SqIigglns but
ut this moment four old maids that were
trying to get II peep pressed too hard
against the still-soit putty. aud the
cromique dropped out ana disclosed
vacant room. This stopped everything,
and Squiggins, after being nearly
Rugged TO death by his now-repentant
wife, stamped the glass into thousand
pieces, and, turning around, then and
there gave the inquisitive landlady
piece OF his mind and commenced pack
ing up to move. A vacant room is for
rent. You can tell the house by seeing
four old maids with cut fingers looking
out the windows. --EUansUiLte Arous.