The Wellington enterprise. [volume] (Wellington, Ohio) 1867-188?, 1881-05-12
Submitted to Arbitration.

One day last week Detroit produces
buyer had occasion to remain over
night with q farmer in Western Michi-
gan. While eating supper he was
asked II he knew much about law;
whether he had ever served ON Jury;
If he called himself q competent man to
arbitrate in an affair between neigh
bors, and II he was posted ON the law
regarding breach OF promise cases. He
answered these questions a. best he
could. and apparently to the satisfac-
ton Of the farmer, for as soon as the
meal was finished the sun-browned
agriculturist confdentially began:
~ think you are q pretty square
man, and may want you to help me
out of q little difficulty. I'll be back in
about half an hour"
He put on his hat and went down the
road. and at the time agreed upon he
returned in company with q young
farmer about twenty-five years old,
whom he called Josephus. The only
peculiar things about Josephus were his
haxen hair. long legs. white eyebrows
and breadth Of feet, but he was no
Imud-sill. As soon as he was introduced
he opened the case as follows:
"There amt no use In any beating
around the bush. Tho fact Is, when /
Hrst come here fell in love with Uncle
Sile's Mary. She reciprocated. and we
agreed to have each other. That's cor
rect. isn't it, Uncle Sile?"
~ guess that's about the way Of il, -
replied the farmer.
"Wall, to make long story short,
last Jinuary 1 gin Mary the cold shake
fur . gal over in the Bebee Settlement.
Mary is Q good gal. but she hain't even
second fiddle ON style or good looks, and
Uncle Sile knows that as we'll rs do.
Now, then. they've been talking about
. breach of promise suit on me, and
won't deny they've got a case. I've
been willing ali along to settle damages
on fair basis, but we couldn't Just
agree on what was fair. Uncle Sile
comes over and says you are here, aud
he offers to leave il out to you II will,
and so II you will act on the case well
come to some agreement"
q. Where is MaryP" asked the De.
troiter. .s55a -. .5.
"Down in Martin County. Ind.," an.
swered the father.
"And she writes home" added
Josephus that she's had nine offers
of marriage in two weeks. Them
Hoosiers IS Just swarming for her.
Them nine offers wants to be consider.
cd in assessing damages"
"And how old Is she?"
"She's only twenty-one, and that
another thing to be considered. Tain,
like rs il she was forty, and might have
to 60 of to China as missionary"
And how much property are you
worthP'
"Wall. I've forty acres of scrub land,
an old cow and q mule, and 1 reckon
the traps around the place might bring
ten dollars at auction. That's honest
Injun. and Uncle Sile knows it."
''Yes, that about the way he's
fixed" said the farmer.
"And another thing you want to con-
slider is the fact that ain t purity. If
was purity the gal might claim high
damages, but I'm about as internal
homely as Digger Injun. Add to this
the fact that I'm an inidel, aud that !
can't sing nor fiddle nor dance, and am
too lazy to enjoy billed dinner. and
what has the gal lost by not marrying
me?"
And s!, you are both willing to leave it
az reckon" they answered together.
"Well, all things considered," said
the Detroiter. after due reflection, "my
verdict is that Josephus drive the old
cow over here in full for all damages.
What do you say, young man?"
The COW is worth fourteen dollars, but
I'll do it rather than have any hard
feelings"
"How is it with you, Uncle SileP"
"Waal. | guess that's about fair. l
had been sticking out for fifteen dollars
in cash, but times are'purty clus and l
want to give Joe fair show. Con git
the crittur, Josephus. and well have
the papers made out. treat the stranger
to hard cider. and go to bed feelin' that
we are as good friends as before you
gin Mary the hake."-Detron Free
Press.