National Republican., 1881-10-29
MR.. NYE RESIGNS,
And states uis Rcasons for Giving UP
His Office.

To the Department OF Justice, Washington, d. g.:
Several months ago Iresigned as United
States Commissioner of this judicial district The
Government did not accept my resignation,
thus taoitly asserting that there was no one who
was considered competent TO take my place In
holding up this cornor Of the national fabric.
now once more resign. do not do II because
/ am dispeased with the Government, or because
am mad, but because do not care for public life.
There is no reason why the Government and my
self should not continue to be friends, but under
the new regime for United States commissioners Of
district courts am compelled TO retire from the
official capacity which have long filled with so
much skill and credit, both to myself and the
United States.
The Department of Justice now requires me to
furnish detailed statement each month of all the
business done by the Commissioner, with his Off
cial certificate attached. am also required to
keep large volume in my Office as a record Of
United States cases examined by me. am to do
this at my own expense in order that the honor
and high moral tone of the Nation may remain
unsmirched.
All these requirements could of course. COM
ply with, but am cursed with the horrible appre-
do more and more Of this till the expense will be
more than can meet | could now Of course, get
little chores ~ do around town, enough for neces-
sary funds to buy the records, &C., but before an
other year the Government may require me to buy
| marbe.top centre. table and two or three
the popular amount of terror to the UHited
States criminals. This would compel me TO 20
without new overcoat and underclothes, OF
| which / am sadly in need. had hoped that with
the financial prosperity of the past year there
would be one case, at least, for examination, ior
ease this branch of the Department of Justice
temporarily, but have been disappointed all the
| way through. l could squeeze along without the
overcoat in order to get the required record this
winter, but the undercothes feel as II ought to
have.
might die suddenly while on the BENCH and 1t
would sound hRrshly IL the telegraphic dispatch
were to state that when the post mortem was held
| the Jury found verdict that the United States
commissioner had died from EXPOSURE and tenn :
| porary stngnntion in undcrclothes.
Our winters here are quite severe, ana II the De-
partment of Justice should some day require me
and keep IL on file would have to clothe myself
IN my unswerving integrity and pair OF gold
| bowed Eyeglasses,
| There Is no question about the air of cheerful.
ness that piano would give to my Office, especially
| If lady were 10 be tried on some charge or an
other, for she could bang an overture ont of the n
strument while waiting for the United States at
| torney TO come, aud 1t would help To kill time,
but the court would either have to lock itself in an
adjoining closet tl the defendant had gone
or usk her to loan him her shawl during the trial
You will see from these suggestions whittier we
nre drifting.
will now turn the Office over to tho Depart
ment. 1t consists of pine box with some speci.
| mems of second hand chewing tobacco preserved
| IN Saw-dust and u bald headed feather duster
1
archives, as desire TO have everything done cor.
rectly and with the usual amount OF precision and
| delay
The United States In my resignation sustains a
loss which It can Ill afford, and the national
superstrcture becomes almost u tottering wreck
The popular man may be raised up for this crisis
but 1t Is not at all probable
DR.. Tanner would bo good man. / simply
throw this out us a suggestion.
Siil he would require clothes. hadn't thought
of that.
II Is very seldom that you find a man with til,
happy union of qualifications necessary for thi.
| Office. You may secure a man who cain live OF
| the delightful climate and what cold food he cal
secure among the neighbors, but he Is liable tC
have an ulg0vcrnable appetite for clothes while
on the other hand, you may find man who IL tho
exact Uce versa, or whatever you may call It, of th,
other man.
You will perhaps wonder at the delay of my las
monthly report, but IT Is easily explained. III,
man who promised that he would come before m,
in August and acknowledge n deed and pay IN,
me that he didn't make the sale of property tha
he had anticipated
l now resign.
Congress may take such action In aoknowledg
ment of my past services us 1t may see fit.
Whatever appropriation is made will be thank
fully received and receipted.
l would also receipt my winter pants at tn
same time.
/ find that can starye to death just as success
fully in journalism MS can in my official capacity
and hope that the Government will not feel hur
over my course.
Handling the amount of money that have
being United States commissioner has been
terrible strain on me, and resign before 1t is to
late.
resign while l have the manhood still left Il
overmnster my fendish desire to embezzle the Goa
hod and the front door of the Office.
Hoping that no further explanation will be nee
essary, subscribe myself,
Yours, with moderate amount Of firmness an
passionate yearning for grub, BILL NYE.
In nnlia