davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1881-04-24

burgh, left $1,000 each to the Presbyterian
board of foreign missions, the board of home
missions, the board of education, and the board
of relief Smaller amounts were bequeatbed
| to other church objects.
The Rev. Morgan Dix, D. D., denies that
| the Protestant Episcopal church fayors Uni
versalism. He says that the Prayer-Book it
self is sufficient answer to the charge. The
references in that book TO hell and everlasting
punishment are in very plain terms.
Scene-Streetcar in Jerusalem: Old lady
hooks her parasol over the strap and pulls.
'sDriver, driver, stop the car. don't want to
go clear to Mount Zion" "This car don't 60
that way, mum; it stops at the American beer
garden Thus do we note the progress of
time.
The Rev. George Muller is laboring at New
ark, N. j., and returns to England May 81.
After rest at Bristol he intends to take
another preaching tour in continental CONN.,
tries. He has been invited to make fourth
visit to America, and, though now nearly 76,
says it is not improbable that he may come.
Indifferentism in London has CALLED out
Episcopal attention. In a recent pastoral the
bishop of st. Adams says: "Unless the coun-
try at large can be awakened to consider the
consequences of leaving London and its sub
urbs in their present STATE of spiritual desti-
tuition, no man can foresee what within a few
years may be the issue"
Wife, given to literature and the drama, to
her George, what is the. meaning
of the expression, 60 to- you meet with SO
frequently in Shakespeare and the old drama
tists?" Husband (not reading man)-'T do
not know, Pm sure, my dear, unless we'll
perhaps he was going to say-but thoughtit
wouldn't sound proper"
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1881-04-24
THE GREATEST BARGAINS
W. Il. ROWELL g. CO.

In Hosiery Ever offered in St. Paul
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1881-08-18
No Chance for Him.

He was coming down street with q
ncrick" in his back, wobble in his
knees and q thumb tied up in rag.
Perspiration had wilted his collar and
made his hannels crawl up, and each
knee carried the marks of dust. He
halted q pedestrian, got his aching
back against the lamp-post, and asked !:
"Sir, do you suppose that George
Washington ever fell down stairs with q
bureau after him and on top of him 2"
I don't think So"
"Did Daniel Webster ever turn an
old ingram carpet t'other side up, and
haul it around, and pull his blamed arms
off. and pound his thumbs to a mash in
tacking it DOWN."
81 never heard that he did,"
"And, sir, do you believe that Henry
Clay ever lugged burned old bedstead
all over the house, papered bedrooms,
daubed around with paint, and lifted
stoves until his eyes stuck out like lem
ons on a Greeley hat?"
"I never heard that Henry was any
such man." ID gas.s
"No, of course you didn't, and yet
you and the rest of the world wonder
why I don't get up and perorate and
philosophize and theorize and thun-
der around like an earthquake. Look at
me. Feel of mel Go ache as I ache,
wilt as wilt, and then tell me what
earthly chance man of moderate means
has in this world for securing the laurels
of fame. Yes, sir, and be hanged to
you, sir, and even now I'm on my way
down town to buy whitewash brush,
two pounds of putty, peck of lime and
four more papers of tacks." . w
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1881-08-18
Get n Home.


We would have every true man build
for himself a home, be it ever SO humble
in its beginning. Industry and frugality
and good judgment will make of it the
most lovely spot of earth. The man
without q home is like sojourner with
out country. The richest, happiest,
and the best man in the wide world is he
who has pretty, comfortable home of
his own, family, good health, and owes
no man a cent, even though his entire
worldly possessions would not sell for q
thousand dollars, and though he has
never held so high an Office as town con-
stable or roadmaster. 1s
We sometimes feel constrained to
doubt whether q man without q home
can at best be but an Indifferent citizen
and more Indifferent patriot. He can
not feel that interest in other peoples
real prosperity that he feels in his own,
and without such prosperity we could
have no country worthy a name. He
would scarcely care to risk his life in de-
fense of the hearthstone of his Landlord,
but let that hearthstone be his own and
woe to the invader who should threaten
it with desecration. The homes of the
people are the strength of the State.
Build them, beautify them, own them,
and be happy. This is the fair deduc-
ton from hosts of instances and is the
true philosophy Of home making and
home owning.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1881-08-18
A Curious Instance.

s A few days ago most singular case
vas heard in one of the Paris law courts.
a stone mason, named Jean Jeanzac, 80
years of age, was charged with trying to
make prostitute of young girl, Paul
inc Wilette, born in 1866. The girl, it
seems, had run away from home and
went to live with Jeanzac, but when they
were arrested both declared that she was
Is pure as when she was born. In, court
the girl made statement which created
the greatest sensation. She said it was
asvoluntary act on her part, going away
from home to live with Jean. They had
great affection for each other, for he was
hind to her when her mothers husband,
Who was not her father, abused her.
They had slept together for weeks, but
never had Jean attempted to dishonor
her person, and she was still q virgin. In
rRoof of what she said she demanded
that medical experts should be sent for
and an examination held. The judge
sent for two prominent doctors, who
pronounced her worthy of the Montyon
prize-a reward given yearly by the
French academy to the most yirtuous girl
in France. OF course Jean was acquitted.
Paris Cor, Kansas CstN Times, ass.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1881-08-18
10 - Government Pays Bills.

A Great part of the work in the de-
partan&1df Is necessarily in the line of
keeping accounts, and presents little M
terest to people who are not exceptional
ly fond of figuring.
The general principle which governs
the whole system of auditing and set
thing accounts against the Government
is to provide every safeguard against
fraud, and this is so successfully accom-
plished that dollar could not be got
out o. the treasury illegitimately y with ut
the collusion of SO many persons that it
may be set down as a practical impos-
sibility. -
Suppose q man has bill against the
Government. The head of the depart
ment or bureau to which the matter
properly belongs makes a requisition for
the amount upon the Secretary of the
Treasury, using prepared blank which
asks him to cause warrant for the
amount in question to be issued in favor
the particular appropriation by Congress
out of which the sum ought to come. -
But before this requisition reaches
the Secretary it must pass under the eye
of the proper Auditor and Comptroller
and receive their countersign, the Audi
tor at the same time charging the
amount to the account Of the disbursing
officer in whose favor it is issued. II
all goes well so far, the Secretary issues
warrant to the Treasurer, directing
him to pay over the money, which he
does by issuing draft for the amount in
favor of the Governments creditor, but
not until after the warrant has b zen
countersigned by the proper Comptroller
and registered by the Register. Indeed,
the draft itself must go the Register for
comparison and registry before it is
finally passed over. There seems to be
good deal of red tape in all this pro-
cess, but it is sort of red tape that
saves the country money in the long
run.-Good Company.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1881-08-18
The Importance Of q Chaperon.

A woman of elegant manners and
charming character, who viii submit to
the slavery of being q chaperon- It
is little less-it is hard to find. Yet
every motherless family should try to
find such person. t
In travelling in Europe an accom-
plished chsperon can do more for young
girls than any amount of fortune. She,
has the thing they want that Is know
ledge. With her they can 70 every
where picture galleries, to theaters,
to public and private balls, and into
society, il they wish it. It Is "eti-
quette Ito have q. chaperon, and it is the
greatest violation not to have one. If q
woman isprotected by the armor of work,
young artist goes about her copying un-
ferent laws, she must be uuder the care
chaperon is indispensable 10 IN sngaged
girl. The mother, or some LADY friend,
should always accompany young
fancee on her journeys to the various
places of amusement and to the water
ing places. Nothing is more vulgar in
the eyes of our modern society than for
oil oh6aBou couPto W w maFcuuB hDout
alone with each other, and to the theater
by themselves, as was the primitive GUS
tom. This will, we know, shock many
Americans and be called a foolish fol-
lowing of foreign fashions" But it is
true, and if it were only for the "looks
of the thing" it is more decent, more
elegant and more correct for the young
couple to be accompanied by a chaperon
until marriage. a
Society allows an engaged girl tc
drive with her fancee in an open car,
riage, but it does not approve Of his tax
ing her in close carriage TO an even
ing party.-Har1oer's Bosdar.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1881-08-18
A SWindler Fooled.

Upon one of the trains en- route from
the Pacific coast, sharp undertook to
sell diamond ring to an old miner who
had made his pile and was returning
home. The miner looked at the ring.
and said to the seller: They've got COM
mon stone up in the diggings where I've
been thatn cut that diamond all to
pieces!' eff you'll find piece of stone
that will cut that diamond I'll give it to
you, replied the peddler. "An right,
: said the miner, ''if can't cut that 'dia-
nlond' with stone I'll buy it of you.
Thereupon the miner took the ring in
his hand and pulled from his vest pocket
small piece of brown looking stone,
similar to bit of dark freestone, except
the grain was very fine, and with this he
proceeded cooliy to cut and scratch the
'.diamond' with several ugly-looking
gashes. A group of passengers that
had gathered about the miner were
amazed, but while they smiled the ped
dler with his ''diamond" Withdrew dis
comfted. "That little piece of brown
stone, /" explained the miner, sis piece
of corundrum that I got in the Rocky
mountains, and it's the best diamond
tester in the world. 1t won't scar
genuine diamond, but it will everlasting
~ cut up pieces of glass or quartz. IA
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1881-08-18

The moon, says Prof. Proctor, does
not revolve around the earth, but the
two circle about each other, and the
real center of the revolution of each Is
the sun. If there were railway sufh-
GENTLY /" elevated to reach the moon,
which is 238, ,818 miles distant from us,
we should be fifteen months making
the Journey at ordinary railroad speed.
Upon arriving, we should observe sew
eral interesting phenomena. First, it is
very respectable luminary of diane
ter Of 2, 081 miles, with surface of H.,
600, 600 square miles, volume one
forty-ninth of that of the earth, and q
mass one-eighty first of it. isss saw .sF.
Then, the force of gravity being one
six feet high, and still quite as active as
have q longer day in which to disport
themselves, for there is lapse oftwenty-
nine and one-half Of our days between
the lunar sunrise and sunset. Our ex-
tremities, however, would certainly suf-
fer after sunset, for the surface of the
moon is $50 degrees below zero at mid
night, and the reaction toward noon
would try even our prolonged proper
tions, for at noon the surface would be
38 degrees above the boiling point We
should be very lonely, probably, for
there is no living creature there now.
Still, as Prof. Proctor says that all
planets pass through five stages, the
last of which is deaths stage which
the moon has reached-the apprehensive
mind naturally inquiries how, soon the
earth will probably reach it. The pro-
fessor answers, reassuringly, that the
earth is now about 500. 600, 600 years
old, and that it took the moon 80, COO, ,0OO
to reach its present state. He therefore
concludes that it will take the earth 500,
OOO, 900 years more to reach the same
condition. There is thus no immediate
cause for apprehension. sLsss 5sssz
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1881-08-18
BUTLER AND THE SPOON.


Tho Alleged True Story OF His DIS
posftfon of the silver.
What purports to be trustworthy e1-
PLANTATION of the manner in which Gen.
Benjamin F. Butler acquired tie un-
happy fame of being a purloiner Of sil-
yer spoons is given by Washington
correspondent: A lady went to Gen.
Garfield, some months ago, and intro
duced herself as the daughter of Gen.
David +. Twiggs, who left our army.
where he had gained the rank Of Major
General, to join the secessionists at the
opening of the Rebellion. She stated
her object to be the recovery of her
fathers two swords, captured by Butler
when he entered New Orleans in the
spring of 1862. One sword had beer
voted to Twiggs by Congress In recog-
milton of his services during the Mexi-.
can war the other was the weapon he
had drawn in behalf of the Confederacy.
She was particularly anxious to secure
the latter, because her father had priced
it far above it's fellow. Garfield referred
her to Butler, whom she feared to meet
on account of the terrible reputation he
had gained in the South. Having been
assured that he was not nearly SO black
as he had been painted, she sought him
out, and, to her surprise, was very po-
itely received. He informed her that
he had sent the swords to Washington,
with the request that one be given to
the Annapolis Academy and the other to
West Point, as trophies of the civil war.
His request was not complied with.
They were, instead, locked up in the
vaults of the treasury for safe keeping,
= IL l,,~j:o,k, Iox,u s,r,oc 10
livered to him. He then added sc You
have not, my dear madam, asked me
about your family plate, which have
so often been accused of stealing to dec
crate my own table with. You no doubt,
in common with many Southerners,
think the charge true. As soon as I had
occupied your fathers deserted house,
one Of your servants came to me with a
load of silver, saying that your father
had buried it in the garden to keep it
from the hated Yankees, but that, now
he had gone, the servant, having seen
the act, dug it up, and was desirous, to
hand it over to the proper authorities.
I used the silver while I had my head
quarters at your fathers place; but after
ward Iturnedevery piece spoons, forks,
salFers and dishes-.over to the Quar-
| termaster's Department. Here, madam,
are the vouchers for every article brought
me by your colored servant" And
Butler opened his desk and took out a
neatly-aIranged packet of papers, each
of which was regularly and formally
signed and credited, relieving Butler
from all responsibility in the much
vexed matter. This Will not, of course,
prevent most of the Southerners and
many of the Northerners from swearing
| that Butler did steal Twiggs' silver, and
never returned it and never accounted
for it There are falsehoods which nc
amount Of truth or dsproval will or can
extineuish and Butler and the spoons
is q conspicuous example thereof. ssi
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1881-08-18

"I have had" said q we'll known
clergyman, "some very dron experi-
ences. Among the most exciting was
the one that / will now relate. A we'll
known merchant was very sick-eome
thought nigh unto death. He would 80
no pastor, nor allow any one 10 speak 10
him on the subject Of religion One
day he mentioned my name, though he
was no acquaintance of mine. He
named me two or three times. At
length his wife asked him if he wanted
me to call. He hesitated for some time,
and then asked his family TO send for
me. He added: "Tell him to come
right away" I obeyed the summons,
was ushered into the sick chamber, and
at once recognized the gentleman as one
who had been an occasional hearer IN
my church. He greeted me with great
cordiaIity, and asked that all should
leave the room. He wanted to speak to
me privately. His wife left with evi-
dent reluctance. The man was 30 weak
that he could with difficulty turn in bed.
As soon as the door was closed the pa
tient sprung from his bed, turned the
key in the lock, seized upon me with the
strength of q giant, and said: Now
VIC WILL 1hrC o 4sAOO onhSC, SAnoEAA6 LIZ
about the body, and he, in his night
shirt, commenced to caper and prance
about the room, humming in q low
voice land my Father are one, equal
in power and glory He kept his pace
for an hour, until was nearly dead
from exhaustion and fright. He was a
wild maniac. Once I attempted TO
scream. He seized me by the throat
His eyes flashed fire. He said he would
brain me if was not quiet. Round and
round he turned, keeping up the refrain,
Il md my Father are one, equal in
power and glory Pretending to be
pleased, I suggested that he call in some
of the family to join us. He caught at
the idea. BE opened the door to call
the household up, and q Instantly few
down stairs pursued BY the madman.
He was arrested, taken to the mad
house, and in twenty -four hours died q
raving maniac. I have never since heard
these words repeated without being
thrown into cold sweat. / had dance
enough that night to last me the balance
of my ife." g''7,T-'' $3.50
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1881-08-18

wife, come here ! Robert is dying r.
The mother came on feet of doves
wings. She raised her son upon her
breast. The little lips unclosed and
spoke the last forever to this world
al love my papa. Mamma, I only
wanted his pencil, not his money. Dear
God, let papa love me-" FsE
And SO. among the little drawings he
had been working at every dawn, till
his pencils were worn to the wood and
he would have borrowed his papa's
noiselessly, whose sharpened pencil was
in his waistcoat pocket. the little artist
yielded up his broken heart. Only the
room resounded with childless fathers
cry:
"Oh had 1 my son again, even
though he were thief -
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1881-08-18

The average weight of brain in various
races is said to be as follows: English
and American, 45.7 ounces ; French,
A.6 ounces German, A. 1 ounces Ital-
Jan, A ounces North American Indian,
IA ounces Hindoo, 42.1 ounces; KAT
fir (African), As ounces; Negro, 4O.5
ounces Bushman, SO ounces, and Malay
and Oceanic race, SO to 43.7 ounces.
This nice computation may be correct,
but it is worth while to remember that
the quality of a mans brain is as i'm
portant as its quantity. "a little farm
we'll TILED" especially if originally fer
tile, may be more productive than big
plantation naturally sterile and neg
lected.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1881-08-18
Peace to His Ashes.

Not long since Gus De Smith took q
stroll through the Austin graveyard.
When he came out of the graveyard he
looked very serious.
Gilhooly meeting him asked him what
was the matter.
Nothing, only I was thinking that
the Austin husband must light all the
fires in the mornings"
"What makes you think so?''
Well, see no many of them are
burned to death. I noticed on three or
four tombstones Peace to his ashes.'"
-Teros Sitting.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1881-08-18
Experience OF a Woman In Disposfng
Of Magazine Articles

I called on the editor of a high-class
periodical. He is a great man, q really
great man, therefore excessively courte-
GUS; he can afford to be; he has left
itinerant anxieties behind he is in the
elevated railway of letters. He looks at
me much as o. blue-bottle does at gnat,
as who should say: 81 can buzz and
buzz without singing why can't you ?"
He is lordly; his editorial chair is
leather-lined, his den has two windows,
light, air, and every brain assistance
conceivable; he is ever SO little pomp-
Gus he has no desire so to be, but he
is; he devotes five minutes by the clock
to me; he is sure / shall succeed. I
have excellent testimonials have any
thing to offer 20
Eyes, have" I am trembling nerv-
ously and open my budget: "Here is q
manuscript, an article on the Byways Of
Life"
A smile steals over his face Git appears
a smile OF encouragement to the deluded
hack, he becomes impressive, begs that
will leave it for perusal, and bows me
out. % = ~ @
60, feeling that the sun is shining,
the breeze-ohi how delightful the
world mine of inexpressible pleasure
proceed to number two.
he is also the puryeyor Of . high-class
magazine, but he is Of quite another
mold. He is o younger mar, his timer
ant days are not so far behind !; his edi-
torial age, SO to speak, Is yet young he
has not yet reached the full blown stage
Of number one. His den is very small,
his chair is cane, his territory so con-
fined that when he sits at the editorial
shrine to write, his throne fills up the
entire space between his desk and book
case. He is not In the least like blue
bottle he resembles a Gagged eagle.
His eyes are bright and piercing, his
hair 30 tossed that it would seem as if
his thoughts came bouncing through his
scalp to play at hide and seek; he is too
occupied to be excessively polite. A
cigarette between his teeth tells little
tale. He gives nod a resigned recog-
milton as / enter, turns his chair on its
pivot, and proceeds to read me, proba-
bly, - closely Is he does his contribu-
tons. He stops my mouth by declaring
that there is absolutely no opening on
his paper, then reads my testimonials,
and with keen look which would be
hard but for the glance Of kindly humor
that accompanies it, tells me that if
like to write upon an almost impossible
subject on the chance of approval I may.
-lNeU York Mail.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1881-08-18
nIusic Hafh Charms. Efc.

One Of the great manufacturing inter
ests of Boston, is the Emerson Piano
Company, whose pianos are used with
high appreciation and satisfaction
throughout the world. In recent con-
versation with Mr.. Jos. Gramer, one of
the proprietors, that gentleman re-
marked: have used that splendid
remedy, st. Jacobs Oil, in my family,
and found it to be SO very beneficial that
I will never be without it. It has cured
me of severe case of rheumatism, after
other remedies had failed.-St. sLostis
Western WotchDaoss. sa asE9 isa
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1881-08-18

MARY C-is very popular little
girl, and is invited to all Of the chill
dren's birthday parties, where she never
forgets to wish, MANY happy returns
of the day." Recently she oyerheard
her father telling her mother that Mrs:
j, the mother Of seven children, had
Just had a birthday party, the said
g party" being nine pounds, very live
weight. Mary at onoe asked her hor-
rifed mamma "Shal1 I trot over and
wish her many happy returns Of the
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1881-08-18
A Judicial View Of Turkeys.

In King against Mann, supreme
CourI oi the hawallan islands, Ine de-
,enaans , nae oeen convicted OF stea.1ng sa.has
.prkeys. Two Questions arose whetner me:
and vhethsr ownership had been
proved Ihe court Is sad; "On the ne
W,s.ss ..ns$ ~. :. 49, ~: 7.Sata;no "
~ c''''o We : q - =. ssa.ns,
- .'''. E--.1s.1 -. 49, - 90 us ionn
49, ~ 49, \ ..-;s u ~ 'i ;'7; ~ rs eg,
v 49,. W ~ 80 5<a ivy. wv VIVA 5. .s,. e. "a,
x!19 a.9n Lney we're ~ 4 - ~ lest, ss,
p,rus are now ,:I,.!sS - = X. * ~ =,
oL man Dleeo VI a: 4 '1l..f - seu
= ~ = '4se S,-n t2z4 7x'--.:. "nd
rs 1.'u ~, II 80 az anu ne
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1881-08-18
BeneGhcfOrn.

When board Of eminent physicians and
chemists announced The discovery that BY COM
bining some well-known valuable remedies tho
most wondsrfnl medicine was produced, which
would cure such wide range Of diseases that
most all other remedies could Be dispsnssd
merits by actual trial has dispelled al doubt,
and to-day the discoveries of that great imedl-
cine, Hop Bitters, are henered and blessed BY
al d bsnsfactors.