The Concordia eagle. [volume] (Vidalia, La.) 1873-1890, 1881-02-05
HUMOROUS.

The actor who cannot draw is worse
than blister.
What is the spot most dear to cattlef
Their fodderland.
A woman who goes to church 10 show
her sealskin sack is sack religious.
The prevailing vice among the black
smiths is an iron one Free Press.
Return from the chase: Well, uncle,
what have you killed." "Time, my
dear"
A Boston man has invented q new
word, 'Astronometeorology," and
already there are six men in the country
who can pronounce it.-Boston Post.
"Dear SIR" said an amateur farmer,
just from the coun ry, writing to the
secretary of an agricultural society.
put me down on your list of cattle for
calf"
We are progressing as nation toward
refinement. The wheelbarrow is now
called the unicycle. But it is just as
hard to run with big trunk on it as it
was under the old pane.-B Boston Post.
When a boy walks with girl as
though he were afraid some one would
see him, the girl is his sister. IL he
walks so close to her as to nearly crowd
her against the fence, it is the sister
some one else.
care you any relation to my sister,
| He blushed and stammered until the
young lady. taking pity on him, solved
the matter by saying: mo, but he'd
| like to be; Wouldn't you Alfredo" Cards
will soon De out.
The gases and vapors of manufactur-
ing towns, especially where chemical
works abound, produce variations in
the color of moths, even in the full
grown insects, but not in their destruc-
| tiveness.
| The Boston Post cites the case of
| Vern. ont man who recently killed two
birds with one stone, and did not feel
| very. proud OF it either. He SHE'D the
stone at a hen and hit the birdsin cage
behind plate-glass window.
A Norristown man who is so near
| sighted that he cannot recognize his
| friends across the street, always lodges
around a corner when one Of his credi-
tors is a square off and coming toward
him. 1t must be NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.
Herald.
A transcedental preacher took for Lis
! texr"Feed my lambs" As he came
out of church plain old farmer said to
him: THAT was very good text; but
YOU placed the nay so high in the rack
that the lambs couldn't reach it, nor the
old sheep either"
The editor ofthe New Orleans Plea
yune having been out unsuccessiully
with a dog and double-barreled shot
gun longs for the good old days when q
man could kill two birds with one
stone.
| Some fellow has discovered that there
are SO, 525 ways OF spelling scissors. Ii
he had been correcting manuscript for
a newspaper. he would have discovered
that there are about 999 500 ways OF
spelling every word in the English Ian
guage .-Stenbenuille Herald.
A New Yorker advertised that f. one
dollar he would send directions how to
cure turn-up nose. A young lady who
forwarded dollar received thesdirec-
lions next day. She was advised to
employ a blacksmith to strike her
heavv blow on the end of the nos' with
sledge-hammer until a cure tfas ef-
fected. A very striking remedy, but she
didn't follow the directions.
Thus, with kind words, Fairface cajoled his
friend,
" Dear Dick, on me, thou mayest assured de-
pend;
know thy fortune is but very scant,
But never will SEQ my friend in want"
Dick, soon in Jail, believed his friend would
| tree him;
He kept his word-in want he meier would see
him.
"What do you charg for n shave
herePn asks dusty, trave,- stained man,
entering a barber shop. 1t just dc
ponds on a mans occupation" W the
reply; what do you doP" I'm a
book agent" "Then it will cost you
twenty-five cents" Why, you charged
the man who went out only five cents"
81 know it; but he's lightning-rod
agent and peddlef of Photographic
tickets, and he allows me to hone my
razors on his cheek. "-Somerutll Jour