The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1881-02-18
HUMOROUS.

We'll drile3.-Thc oh region.
a town pump-The village bore.
A go-as-you-pleasc race-Indians.
Beats awl-Tha patent shoe. stitching
machine.
a humorous arlicle--A baby with the
rash -L9WcN CtscH.
Director Of The mint-The individual
who havOrs tbst kind Of candy.
The l Of l0o0 would he seriously
missed.-fo'lG da Inc Hsporlsr.
Come come rosl On tlis busom,"
rs The shirt said t9 Che laticon
A lady need not necessarily be nerv-
Gus orathlctic to j 40 at an uHer.
The man who i5 '1vai on time usually
oarries a large wa,ch.--Aeb0 Ycr5
EcyaM.
a burglar, recently arrested, was
asked what bis business was. ANA
uouseoleancr," said be.
I've bill to Pre- cent,n said the
snow bird. when 1eting for his break
fast .-Aeftios Hlcofdtr.
It is not necessary for g man to keen
his mug Mt tho baTber'5 shop, but he
must take j. there 10 be shaved.
Two young ladies recently saw "A
young man trying ID Dodge three cross
hornets, which hai rot into his room
ana seemed 70 come nj him from all
directions, and tIeI thought be was
prsct'ciuE -lg racquet md SAID he was
6 t-lng il down line.-BO7io3S PoSt.
I & is the name Of town in Kan
sas.-Eoae scNtinci. Correct, but why
didn't you think little bardcr, and tell
Is Of II worth aud To p X P--AodcTis
Arg0.
There are some 25 coo mere females
than males il Philadelphia, and yet
some people wonder why come girls
merry b0w-leggCd men, Ihll7 dolptia
Cr0aic'e
One Of our hest-loohing young men
has come to the conclusion that his
mouth i5 too lsrga. He had an acher
removed from there last week. - Keokak
Gat1 Cjty.
Would you ike TO look through the
big te.6scCpoP' asked one girl ofanCther
To which The latter replied: mo; I'd
a great deal rather look through key
hole. .n-HartHT} LamPgota.
A newspaper commenting on the fact
that farmer nearly lost his life by sink
ing in = quaomire, adds Men who do
not subscribe for paper must expect 10
be sucked in every now and them
An oxuberant youth halls slpposed
acquaintanee on the street with, . Hello,
joe" but finding bis mistake, ADDS, On.
excuse me; though. you were another
msnl' Laconic stranger answers: ="
am"
One of the civillzinE agencies employed
among the Indians by the present ad-
ministration IS tie organization OF an
Indian police force. numbering over
seven hundred men. distributed among
forty agencies These untutored saw
ages have taken { police duty 80 natur-
al ly that q fall grown Indian can be
stride a sat barrel and sleep through
thunderstorm, a fire on the next block
and a burrl alarm. The interior de-
nariment is greatly encouraged. Bur
/ iieoton Hc'0bcgs.
1ne compauy organized 70 stlcrd
/ acclmuo5atiOGS 90 t-c visitors TO orN-
/ town, Va, at the proposed centennial
/ there. have presented the eovcrnmert
/ with fi.cen GcrCs o. tho Moore farm ana
/ the house ia which the articles Of Ca
/ pi-ulation wee signed, and The site OF
/ tile monuucrt wiI he slucst on the
I bark oi .lo r'v5r. The company wilt
/ have their Grounds beautifully laid ont,
/ sud wife Illt such attractions 70 visit
/ cra Chat lie ,s'c .Li.L..l viii probably
/ ocu'iruo month. Yn2 day for the
! l,alan OF II cornerstone Of the monu-
imst viii BE the leh noXt October
nj the celebration viii las. sever |
days.