Mexico weekly ledger. (Mexico, Mo.) 1855-1956, 1881-03-24

l got into the cars and took seat
in juxta-position to female. That
females face was perfect insurance
company-it insured her against
ever getting married to anybody but
8 blind man. Her mouth looked
like crack in q dried lemon, and
there was no more expression in her
face than there is in cup of cold
mustard. She appeared as though
she had been through one famine,
and had got about two-thirds through
another, She was old enough to be
great grandmother to Mary that had
the little lamb. She was chewing
prize pop corn, and carried a yellow
rose with band-box and cotton UNI
brella nestled sweetly by her side.
| couldn't guess whether she was on
a mission Of charity, or going to start
saw mill. / was full of curiosity to
hear her speak, so l said:
"The exigencies Of the times re-
quire great circumspection in per-
son who is travellng?"
Says she, "What?'
Says |, "The orb of day shines re-
splendent in the vault above
She hitched around uneasy like,
then she raised her umbrella and said,
Il don't want any of your sass-get
out,' and got out.
Then took seat alongside Of a
male fellow, who looked like q ghos,
of Hamlet heightened out. He was
stately-looking cuss, and he was
reading.
Said I, "Mlster, did you ever see s
camelopard!'' 1 said camelopard
because it is a pious animal, anG
never eats grass without getting
down on his knees. He said he
hadn't seen e camelopard. Their
said 1, ''Do you chew?"
He said, ''No, sir."
Then 1 said, "How sweet is ma
ture?"
He took this for connundrun
and said he didn't know. Then ht
said he was deeply interested in th'
history of a great man. ''AIas! !" h
exclaimed, "We are but few!''
| 1 told him l knew one; ''the mar
that made my cooking stove was
great man.
Then he asked, "Would l read?"
Says /, ''What have you got?"
He replied, Watts Hymns,
"Reveries by Moonlight" and "Ho,
to Spend the Sabbath
| said, "None of them for Han
nah,' but if he had an unabridge'
business directory Of New York Cit
| would take little read.
Then he SAID, "Yonng man, loo
at these gray hairs"
I told him l saw them, and whe
a man got to be as old as he was h
ought to die. Said /, "You needn
think these gray hairs are any sig
of wisdom, it's only a sign that you
system lacks iron; and | advise you
90 home and swallow crowbar."
He took this for irony and VIII;
little entente cordiale there was b'
tween US was spilled. 1t turned o,
that he was chaplain of a baseba
club.
When we got to Rochester calle
for bowl of soup. l send, you
receipt for making it. Take lot I
water, wash it well, and boil it unit
; it is brown on both sides, then car
fully pour one bean into it and let
simmer. When the bean begins
get restless, sweeten it with sal
) put it up in air-tight cans, hitch ea'
can TO brick and chuck them owe
board, and the sirup is doHe.
The above receipt originated wi
a man in Iowa, who got up suppe
on odd occasions for Oddfellcw
He had a receipt for oyster sou
leaving out the salt.
Speaking Of Iowa reminds me
the way got my money to pay I
my ticket and that fellows supps
l | bet a fellow dollar that l cou
tell him how much water to a qua
went under the railroad bridge oy
the Mississippi at Dubuque in ye;
l won the bet, but after all the ST.
per was an awful swindle.
Dubuque is celebrated for its Fl
turn outs on the streets while l "
there wagon upset and spilled a
II of women. I didn't see it. look
the other way. No cards.