Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1881-05-19

frost the ardent weather.
of the May.
Dora Read Goodale, in the Evangelise.
----e- 90
MRS. TRUMPEHS TELESCOPE.
Mrs. Mainwaring Trumpet moved
through life's various scenes like a cata-
pult, a battering ram, an eighty-one-
ton gun, thunderbolt, or anything that
is the embodiment of all-conquering
force.
She was widow. Fifteen years ago
she had been Miss Mainwaring, with
plenty of good blood in her veins but no
money in her purse. Benjamin Thursby
Trumpet, Esq, Bristol merchant,
sprung from the gutter, and, worth a
heap of money, "came' and "saw -
Miss Mainwaring, and was "con-
quered." He proposed for her; she ac-
cepted his money In three weeks time
she was Mrs. Mainwaring Trumpet. She
became rich, and rare were the gems
she wore;1 but ., that vulgar husband!
With all her eccentricities, she was a
lady; and O, that husband! Mrs. Main
waring Trumpet learned the lesson that
others have learned before her-that you
can not sell yourself and have yourself
at the same time. Well, she fetched a
handsome price, and, to do her justice,
she did not, grurnble much.
Benjamin Thursby Trumpet-like Mr..
Bounderbyr inT"Hard Times loved
to talk of his origin, and how he rose
from nothing, leaving the audience to
infer what-a clever, hard-headed fellow
he must be. But he grew too fond of
this practice, and one day, when he had
wac. upon his leaving the room, caught
up his visiting card, and reading the In
itialslaimd |xsB. T. Trumpet called
him on. ths s3ot Mr.. Blow the Trumpet.
was married a loving friend said ' to the
bride:
"Do you skno,w they nickname your
husband Mr.. Blow the Trumpet"
The bfia8 broke into a laugh; the
shaft OF such malice could not harm
her. She, rather enjoyed it; and the
friend had to search her culver for an
other arrow. as ~
"And they do say-you don't mind,
of course, dear-that he has met his
match, azitl tkatEyou are Mrs. Blow the
Trumpet Horribly low, l call it, dear.
Don't youp,, -.
The bride nearly tainted with indig-
nation. and for the first and only time
in her life needed smelling salts. She
was not half so excited il on,the EN- memora,
sitting in his dining-room over his port.
quite dead. She pronounced it apoplexy
af a Glance. sent for the doctor and flew
abonf tho house Nth brandy and basins
Of n,,,ssard. nnnltices and hot fiannels
II 49, ..-#l. = .--.. -
nIicable- wav of a fire engine making
its wav To an exciting confjaoration'
But she did notfaint, and never asked
for sd nuch as Whit out of smelling
bottle.~A
Thusydd Miss Mainwaring become
Mrs. Mainwafing Trumpet, widow, with
a large. fortune all her own. The vulgar
husband was gone. mercifully re-
leased. nv dear the widow would say;
though what it was from except her.
self-no ,oneecnnld have told. And yet
Mrs. Nainwaring Trumpet was not hap
nv. Who isP Snewanted to get rid of
this dreadful name, Mrs. Blow the
Trumpet. How should she manage itP
Apply to the Queen for q patentP Mrs.
Mainwaring Trumpet bethought her of
an easier, a more agreeable, and more
economical way.
The rector of her parish was a wild
over. tall. lank, gloomy, and always
wearing srecsmforter.v An ordinary
hedresfakS$ realty dressed in clerical
att;ra- MA. q white wooden wrapping at
tho nnnnr end, surmounted by a black
hat. might have passed for the Reg. Ar
thur 1fr6Ranish 1t , very short dis
tandes M. Arfowsmith was a powerful