davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-12
Dead Broke and Lazy.


Almost every other possible motive has
been charged with the crime of the Presi-
dents would-be assassin, but no one seems
to realize that the intended murder would
have been quite natural to man who was
dead broke and lazy, as Guiteau appears to
have been most of the time. A man gen.
orally without money, even if he be clean
hearted and industrious, is quite likely to
become light headed and desperate. How
much greater then, the chances of a man
whose principal industry seems to have COLI
sisted of Jumping board bills All great
cities are infested by lot of fellows who
imagine they were born for the express pur-
pose of setting the world right they have
ideas, or think they have, and they spend
so much time in rambling mental pro-
cesses which they call thinking that they
neglect to do any work They dive into
the unfathomablc, sour after the unknow-
able, but never pay cash. Experienced
keepers of boarding houses know these fell
lows by a sort of instinct and firmly decline
their patronage; but occasionally the in
tellectual dead-beat finds credulous land.
lady, for he spends enough time and inge
nuity in the search to earn months board
When such a landlady is found her fate i,
certain. But oven to get food and lodging
for nothing is not enough the man who has
no spending money in his pocket is always
miserable, and if he has any spare time on
his hands he is sure to prove to himself
that the world, or somebody in it, owes him
a living, and when man reaches this
frame of mind he is quite ready tosteal, Kill
or commit any other crime. Sometimes
such man has some brains and argues him
self into the belief that his vagarie
arc honest; that he is heaven ordained
~. s,k nk.,,
of nations but evon then he cannot imagin,
that he would think of such things were h,
an industrious man with money in hi
| noclxet
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-12
Jewish Ladies whipped.

telegram from the Russian frontier
states that corpse was recently found in
the river near Thoernischeff with label
upon it, on which was written the
word "Traitor, A" 1t is supposed tho death
was due to an act of Nihilistic vengeance.
In some Russian districts the peasants have
offered to pay for the damage done to the
property Of the Jews. In one district they
have deposited 800 rubles for this purpose.
The cruelties committed against the Jews
in Smjela have been followed by very seri-
Gus measures for the restoration of order.
1t is said that men, women and children
were whipped. In some cases even ladies
of good position received 300 strokes.
When the Governor of Kief' arrived the
punishment which had been ordered by the
the colonel in command was over
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-12

cess Stephanie was greatly disturbed by an
unexpected occurrence in the streets. OF
Prague the other day. AS she was driving
good exterior threw Il parcel into the car
riage. The Princess Stephanie was startled
and turned the horses. Nothing further
followed, but the incident has made q
painful impression on account of the deli
cate health of the princess. The authori-
ties of Prague immediately posted request
that no one would disturb the princess
during her necessary drives The parcel
contained II version of the Bible, which Is
issued by sect having its headquarters
near Prague.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-12

Mr.. JEFFERSON DAVIS will soon be the
candidate of the New York Tribune for
something in its gift 1t says that he ex-
pressed his sympathy with the President on
the third day after the attempted assassina-
tion. He did not wait five days, and what
he said, though little, was said with feeling.
There would seem to be more or less of
irony in the Tribune leveling its musket at
Lord Roscoe over the rebellious shoulders of
Mr.. d. 1t would be interesting to learn
how my noble lord fances this new field of
usefulness
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-12

ONE OF OUR heavy exchanges is disposed
TO wall because the subsidy expenditures of
the province of Para, Brazil during the
coming year, according to the budget, will
amount to total of $611 200 viz; 1901 200
to various navigation enterprises, 100000
to II sugar manufacturing company, $50, 900
on contract for supplying the city of
Para with fish and 100000 for supplying it
with fresh beef.
Suppose it costs 5000 year to keep a
horse and he brings in $4,000; what is the
aggregate loss? Para is in better finan-
cial condition than two-thirds of the cite:
of the United States
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-12

The UNEXPECTED APPEARANCE of the
comet terrified the New Mexicans to such ade-
gree that churches were opened for special SER
vices, and men, women and children rushed
in to pray for protection against the threat
cned calamity. Once, long ago, a pious COM
munity proclaimed Il general prayer against
the Turk and the comet The New Mexicans
might have introduced revised version in
an alliterative prayer against the comet and
the cowboys.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-12

THERE Is REASON to fear that Gov. Crit
tenden of Missouri has stamped with his
whole weight on one of Joseph Pulitzers
cherished corns. This distinguished editor
was the political godfather of Gov. Tom; in
fact, the Post Dispatch has been heard to
boast recently that Crittenden's picture was
the only one ever crowded into their valua-
bic columns. Why, then, this?
GOV. Crittenden Is smoving toward the Uni
ted States Senate with solemn and stately
tread. He has conciliated about one-third
of his enemies and lost II little more than
one-half of his friends. At this rate no will
not camp himself in the seat now occupied
the crack OF doom.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-12
WE CLIP the following morsels /:

VIII Attorney General MacVeagh prohibit the
publication of the silly missives which are being
sent out by Guiteau? Let the prison be his living
tomb for the present. That he is permitted TO in
dulge in idoc letters ID scarcely creditable to the
officials at Washington.-Bos Journal.
The Journal here utters II thought that
has been in the mind of the people for the
of justice is outraged by the manner In
which every act and utterance of Guiteau
are paraded before the world.-Boston
Transcript.
It's all well enough for these noviccs at O
distance to infer that Wayne MacVeagh is
the titular head of the Department of In,
Justice. AS a matter of fact, however, he is
only the company. The firm reads; Gibson
Cook & Co.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-12

A COWBOY HUNG the other day in Texas
struck out an original idea and, instead Of
exhibiting himself as either a beggar or a
braggart in his last moments, died in
silence, leaiNkg behind letter to his COM
rade, the incorrigiblc Curly Bill, bidding
him take warning, mend his manners, and
not be so quick with his pistol. 1t is to be
hoped that the missive will circulate with
effect as letter-patent, full of peaceful po-
tency, among that brotherhood of malcon-
tents.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-12


NAPKINS OF GOLD AND SILVER are stated
to have been the style in the most select
circles of society in the golden prime of
good Haroun Alraschid. Since that period
there have been sundry advances and
among them conspicuously has been an in
crease in cleanliness. Among these, the
snowy white napkin can assuredly not be
improved upon as an adornment to dainty
feast. Cleanliness beams from every thread
and glistens on every fold. 1t announces
to the eye that it has been washed and that
the right thing in the right place, and it is
sparkling freshness any detracting decora-
ton. Elaboration is just what is not
wanted. Simplicity, purity and delicacy
are all that are required, and any improve
mcnt is as impossible as adding sparkle
to a dew-drop.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-12

THE ATTENTION Of young men in good
health, who are loafng around Washington
in the hope Of trying to break into Govern
ment employ, is respectfully directed to the
following news from the Vest
Nocity west of Illinois Is growing faster or
prospcrDg more rapidly than Omaha.
Signs of growth are evident on every side.
Building Is going forward so rapidly that
brick IL In scant supply. Many fine new
business blocks are bnilding ON the main
streets, ana an opera-house and II largo
hotel are in process of construction. Hun
dreds Of private residences are being built.
The city has lately extended mile south
west toward Jaussem Park, and In the last
four years II Is said fully 900 dwellings have
been put up ON Capitol HILL
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-12
Keep IL n secret.


The New York Tribune has lately inter
ested itself in pointing out where leprosy
exists in the United States. According to
various correspondents there Is Il good deal
of this old historic horror lurking around
in secret. A letter to the paper from Key
West by an army officer states that leprosy
is there, plenty of 1t, but the lepers go on
with their family life and business just as
If there was nothing the matter with them.
The malady was imp )rted to Key West
from some adjacent British islands.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-12

THE PRICES of an auction sale sometimes
curiously convey the verdict of time, and
value the great names of history by the
unmistakable estimate of dollars and cents.
Thus lately in London n long political let
ter by Queen Anne brought only $50, and
one from Edmund Burke but $2O while SO
was paid for one by Thomas Campbell, and
$155 for a letter from Robert Burns.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-12

THE NEW CzAR has graciously vouch-
safed his permission to the sailors of his
navy to shave or not to shave, according to
their individual tastes. Ii is to be presumed
that the Russian navy will promptly appear
bearded like the pard, as it has not been
allowed to sport even moustache for full
two hundred years. The law Just abrogated
was ordained by Peter the Great, who in
his zeal for the civilization of his savages
was glad to assure the fact that they should
| be at least clean shaved
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-12
A Waste OF Fire.

st. Louis Post-Dispatch.
Some excitable people down in Georgia
burned him Mt the stake. II the weather
down in Georgia IL anything like what 1t Is
in st. Louis the poor victim probably didn't
notice that anything unusual WAS going on
until IL was too late.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-12
The Only Sure Why.

ChrOnicle-Hera1d.
Twenty.nine years ago IA Philadelphia ed
itor received II wound precisely similar to
that under which the President Is suffering.
That editor still lives to prove TO the world
that the only way to killa journalist Is to
talk him to death.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-12
An ImpuIsive Crowd.


1IOWtII CIIIzVT.
81 remember, said Brewer, ~ remem-
my house-they are both dead now" The
crowd broke out into a meaning smile, and
Brewer wondered why they didn't wait for
the funny part of the story to come.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-12

THERE is something phenomenal in the
growth of the American press Old man
Bennett launched the Herald with $500
and had his Office Oh barrel-head for some
months. The other day young jim, over at
Nice, in France dropped $4,000 because
one of his dice was one spot short.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-12

No ONE can tell in this country what
bright career is mapped out for idiots and
knaves The narrowing thought comes
over us at times that Guiteau may be lectur-
ing inside of five years.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-12
Sufficient Cause.

A young lady bearing the aristocratic cog
nomen of Jardine, recently deserted her
lover because in an impassioned sonnet he
made her name rhyme with "sardine.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-12

WARNER MILLER, the new aspirant for
aSenate chair from New York, is q dealer
in pulp. Probabilities are that he will look
very much like his own goods before the
next moon.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-12

EIGHT HUNDRED Mormon converts have
lust landed ut Castle Garden. When the
President gets OH his feet he should mail
each of these creatures a copy of his inaugu-
raj address
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-12

WHAT THEY DO NOW in Albany is to lull.
1t is the interregnum between the past
lullibolciro and the coming lullaby.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-12
Rough on the CannibaIs.

Philadelphia ChrOnicle-Herald.
If the President RECEIVERS there Is no law
justifying Guiteau's execution. We might
get over the matter, however. by sending
him as consul to cline where the inhabit-
ants are cannibuls.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-12

CONSIDERING the number there are of
them, II is little singular that no candi-
date for Governor has been sunstruck.-
Cincinnati Enquirer.
They are reserving themselves in the hope
of being struck by lightning.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-12

THE NEW YORK Tribune seems to be in
tent on offering the prize of publicity to all
the irrevercnt four-year-old infants of tho
country.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-12
Juvenile Paradise.


Boston Post.
Watermelons arc so cheap in Texas that a
boy can for ten cents get n collie that Will
double him up In seven ways and keep a
neighborhood in wakeful distress all night.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-12

RUSSIA is sitting down gently and oc
casionally upon her newspapers. 1t mus
be pretty close shave in that country foJ
an editor who wants to say just enough ant
not too much.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-12

THERE must have been some novel in
cidents in tho chase in Texas whore a con
vict escaped by seizing and clipping with 0
railway locomotive, to be afterward recap
tured by q dog.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-12

SENATOR DAWES says if this Government
ever comes to its death it "will die of some
disease that peryades the body polite. y
Why not say "spoils system right out?
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-12

They recently had drinking match in
Arkansas between II man and Il bear, and
the bear won. Let 'em get Chicago editor
to tackle that bear.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-12

THE EXPERIMENTS with the electric
light have not met the appreciation of the
members of the British House of Com
mons, and when the gas was turned on
again the other night it was greeted with
cheers, As an experiment, this ought not
however, to be counted as failure, because
the Commons always was great place fol
gas.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-12

AS FOREMOST OF THEM who know, Ten
nyson was pretty clear about just where to
place the bust of Plato in his ideal temple,
but at Concord the modern philosophers
must be bothered. They have busts of
Alcott and Emerson to range alongside of
old Plato. Now if they would only add
Thoreau and Walt. Whitman it would be
as nice row as Il hanging committee need
want to encounter,
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-12
BOARDING.

ENIRST-CLASS BOARD, with large rooms, at
I 47g Penna. ave-, opposite National Hotel.
Board from IS to 80 per week. Transient from S1
to $3.50 per day. Terms to suit for families. Mrs.
o. @. Howard proprietress. Ocl--d
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-12

FOR SALE TWO FIVE-ROOM BRICKS
II rented for $50 per month to cOlOred tenants
near 18th st. y: w, for 900 each one half cash
F. II. Fall, 4O2 9th st. n. W. iystf
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-12

LOANS
In sums to suit ut per cent.
The above Is only n small portion of property on
my books. For full list cali at Office FOR bulletin
issued on 1st and 18th juIy6
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-12
FOR SALE.
Advertisements Of Three lines under this head
inserted times for 25 cents

nor SA LEA BARGAIN-PARTCA CASH AND
H. balance $3.50 per month, at per cent inter-
est, nice broom Frame House, lot l5xSO, n. w. w.
W. DanenhOwer n Son, 12l2 street. iyO.3t
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-07-12

JNOR. .SALE-THE STOCK AND FIXTURES
~ ofa Plumbing Establishment. Inquire at No.
W " street n. w. jy9tf
Morning journal and courier., 1881-11-08
AS USUAL.

Norway has discovered that telegraph lines scare the wolves away. They are probably afraid of the extortionate rates.-Free Press. Be wary of the man who tells you there is fortune in some speculation. He may want to get your fortune there, also.-Cinct7anat1 Saturday Night.
 The text of Toledo (Ohio) preachers ser mon was ''He giveth his beloved sleep" In the midst of his discourse he broke off and said stI see that there few atheists awake on the back seats, and the remaining half hour I shall devote to them"
 An exchange thinks it always seems wrong at wedding that the bride cannot marry the "best man" Oh TO. She marries the groom. If there was coachman present, no doubt she would marry him. It's all right.--Neao Fork Commercial Adoertiser.
 In a couple of hundred years from this, if the Bible is again revised to suit the times, the passage in the parable of the ten virgins, which reads thus, ''Give us of your oil, for our lamps have gone out, will be changed to, "Giye us of your electric lights. for our circuit is temporarily broken. ."-Somer051e Journal.
 s'There has been a wonderful improvement in the speed and comfort of travelling during the past quarter of century," For instance, less than score of years ago 1t took nearly four years to go from Washington to Rich mond, and the travelling was very uncomfort- able. Now the journey can be made in less than day, with ease and comfort.-Nor7is- t0ao7a HerGEd.
 Two gentlemen were seated upon the steps of the house of one of them, on mild even ing this summer, when very large woman, with rustic of voluminous silks and roll of voluminous person, entered the next dwell ing. 'sWho is that ?' asked the visitor. ''That," answered the master of the house, lis my neighbor Webster's wife," "Oh, I see' was the ready rejoinder, "Websters Unabridged r-Bost011 Courier.
Morning journal and courier., 1881-11-08
CONN. TUESDAY $.
belief in the feasibility of making Ireland g great field for agricultural speculation, is said to be largely interested in the scheme.

The hopes of the engineers who are work ing on the tunnel under the English channel have so far all been fulfilled. The prelimin- ary drift has been pushed under the ocean bed more than mile from the French coast and nearly the same distance on the English side. One-tenth of the whole distance has already been trayersed and only soft dry chalk encountered. The cutting machine in use progresses at the speed of yard an hour. At the present rate the drift should be completed all the way across inside of the two years originally proposed. It will be between seven and nine feet in diameter, and of course will require much enlargement for railroad service. But that is only matter of detail, as is also the laying of the track. If the workmen meet with no obstacle insuper- able by engineering science, the junction of the two gangs advancing from either coast will be the positive assurance of a perfect railroad tunnel The time roughly set for the opening may be 1SS6-7. Besides the distance of eighteen and a quarter miles as the submarine line of the tunnel, there will be about mile and quarter of gradual descent from the surface on either shore to the bottom of shafts, which are nearly 300 feet deep. From this depth the tunnel will fall away at gentle slope, afterward pursuing level course un- til point is reached near the opposite coast, when there will be another upward incline. The object is to keep depth in the chalk at no less than 200 feet beneath the channel bed. The entire thickness of the chalk de- posit is known to be at least 500 feet at each of the two points of departure. There are sound geological reasons to suppose that this thickness is maintained through the interven- ing space. Up to this time experiment sus- tains the theory. and stockholders in the enterprise are delighted. Money is forth coming as fast as required, and will not be denied while the engineers reports continue as encouraging as those now published.
Morning journal and courier., 1881-11-08

The Water question has been thoroughly discussed and the time has come to vote To- day the voters will decide whether great sum shall be added to the city's debt in order to test a theory, or whether they will let we'll enough alone. If they vote to buy we be- ieve they will repent.of it, and that soon. If they decline to buy they are sure of fair treatment by the Water company, and will not lose the right to buy at any other time they may think fit. A vote to buy is 9 vote to enter upon very doubtful experiment A vote not to buy leaves water consumers in their present very satisfactory position in re- gard to rates, with the guarantee of the Water company to fall back upon. In this condition of affairs we believe it wise to vote against the purchase.
Morning journal and courier., 1881-11-08
Those Blessed Bedbugs.
Their Bites an AntidOte Against Rhess-
 matfsm.

matfsm.
 ['tMeaicus" in Dallas Herald
 In my last paper asserted that mosqui- toes contained a large quantity of animal quinine and therefore, when they bit 8 per son, they injected into his system an antidote to malaria and febrile causes generally. had then experimented with the mosquito and knew whereof I spoke, and since you kindly published my communication I have cap- tured quite number of these insects, and macerating them in mortar with alcohol have by chemical experiment actually pre- cipitated the sulphate of quinia, or quinine of the drug stores, to the amount of seventy per cent. of the mass. in this southern land of ours, except where the salt breezes imme- diately along the coast are freshest from the briny waves, in Eevery household in the woods away from the habitations, are myr- iads of chinches or bedbugs.
 Chinches, annoying as they may be, have purpose, and night after night they are work ing the accomplishment of that purpose, achieving those duties which as factors in the economy of nature are incumbent upon them. The chinch in sucking blood from the human body draws nourishment and strength, and above all the material which in the retorts of his body is distilled into rich fluid which he in biting one ejects into the body to take the place of the blood he has but borrowed, and this entering into the cir culation furnishes an antidote against rheu- matism. All mercurial preparations when taken in excess cause articular rheuma- tism, affecting the bodies, and the joints of the bones of the human body. The calomel taken, by decomposition in the system, forms corrosive sublimate, but not in quantity sufficient to produce death save by the slow torture of rheumatism. Cor rosive sublimate, as every housewife in the land will testify, is the only riddance for bed bugs. The juices of the bug and the subli- mate are the antidotes of each other, foes by nature, and where they meet only the death of the one or the other can end the contest A single bug, of course, cannot overcome the quantity of sublimate he comes in con- tact with, but the human system becoming gradually fully impregnated with this juice of the bug. by their bitings at night the poison in his veins of the sublimate from his use of calomel of mercury is in the end overcome and neutralized, and the cause be- ing removed the rheumatism gets well.