River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1881-06-30
In A NUTSHELL.

There are $50 Chinese children in tn
San Francisco public schools.
"My wife, remarked Fitznoodle, sis
fairly crazy over the spring fashions.
She's got the delirium trimmings"
By the desire of the late King of
Prussia his heart was inferred in a
heart-shapen marble casket at the foot
of his parents grave.
A cynical old bachelor says that
"lovers are like armies. They get along
well enough until the engagement be-
gins.
An easy way to make hard water
soft is this; ''Fill the wash boiler with
hard water, then put half teacup-
full of wood ashes into little cloth bag,
let this lie in the water until that is
warm enough to use. This is worth
knowing.
"Just think of itp exclaimed Jones;
"Pingrey's new block is one thousand
meters long" as that so?' asked Fogg,
adding, "By the way, Jones, how long
is a meter" BLAMED IF know" said
Jones, but judging from the distance
my gas meter covers every month it
must be immense.
''Hil where did you get them
trowsers?' ask ed an Irishman of man
who happened to be passing with re-
markably short pair of trowsers. II
got them where they grew" was the in
dignant reply 'Then by my con-
science" said Pat, you've pulled them
a year too soon"
How wonderful are the revelations
of science. 1t has been estimated that
boy can hear a call to dinner though
a mile away, in thousandth part of a
second But call to duty. Well, we
don't wish to be hard on the boy, but
it often takes lifetime for him to
undertand it.
A New York lady VINO in conse-
quence of great reverse of fortune,
has been working for a fashionable
milliner, says she is absolutely amazed
to find to what an extent in the days of
her wealth she was swindled in her
bonnets and dresses.
Twenty-one princes and twenty-eight
princeses are loafing around Paris with
no visible means of support. The
princeses being poor, the impecunious
princes turn the cold shoulder to them
and go and hunt the light-headed
American heiresses.
Miss Gordon-Cummings says that a
venerable cannibal in New Zealand
whom she visited, in company with an
obese divine, stroked down and gently
prodded the reverend gentleman in
manner painfully suggestive of Sydney
Smiths joke of "Cold curate on the
sideboard."
In Iowa. young man named Isaac
Hood committed suicide because a
young lady refused to marry him. The
coroner's inquest developed mitigating
circumstances. 1t seems that Hood
asked the young lady to marry him,
and she responded, IKE Hood not"
As soon as Hood saw tine point, he fled
with the result stated The young lady
has not been arrested
Captain John M. Gill of Pekin, KY,
owns one of Santa Annals wooden legs
During the Mexican war Captain Gill
then young man, was member Of
the Fourth Illinois regiment, and
fought in the battle of Cerro Gordo.
Santa Anna was on the field at the
opening of the engagement, being in
carriage drawn by six mules. When
he realized that the Yankees were vic
torious and that he was in danger of
capture, the Mexican general pulled
off his wooden leg left tin the carriage,
and mounting mule, in light flying
order escaped. Captain Gill was the
first American to reach the carriage,
and thus obtained the curious trophy.