, 1881-03-06

visinnarv and imnracticahje notions.
JAS. n. HEocKwAY, Recorder.
49, ~. .
ART IN EXCUSES.
,r,.4. ...,t.H
SoA0o AA1fApAe" - 17
lnent.
ovcr.os hn,h truthful md noItte and so framed
=. .a 49, Observation-Disclosures au - v
't7 not " mouAA .no ooo.e - 80 @a"'
way give oHense to those to whom they are ao-
dressed, is to persons who enter largely into So
clety often a matter Of extreme difficulty; and
.s. -. ,~ -, -oaae,,lI,. -; ox-r;
lniousn ''ot Aho"'ns w" h'aoc'ons ~ 80, eA'ti
cate themselves from position IN VA; forced
upon them, they are led into making many en-
ruremcnts both Inconycnent and uawelcotne;
s. -: -, ,,x,. ..,,, ,.fa ,,ah
INV heep1os P1oni'eea "n4e. Lucy "'u1o . Nn'.~D
rather not nave maze; INTO giving anu accept'ng
invitations which they would rather not hare
y;yen mr. ncrertrd. n.rtinp with things which
+ho,. ,vc,d rot ,,th.r h,,,a bow. lantl,,t, thar
euc9 "o"'" 'o1 i'tnc' AAse AeP'' .eu" ~
which they arc certain Will never Dc rctutnea'
meeting people they would rather not meet;
md so m +hrouvh overv nhase Of sot.lo1 life
W., s.s . ,.a ,a ooa ,n.,ro1 f,Ja,1
VINO nas oot nc"ro soIno eoou-nn'urea is'enu
say 81 snouid not nn'e gonc' Out ala not qu'1e
know how to get out ont Of it, or ~ Wns let in
knowing what eNctlse to nlakc,'' and II host Of
similar observations, All bcar!ny upon the
one point that they have dons that
which they would rather not have
done, occupied tino In n manner exactly
uupust to tile one most agreeable to themselves,
mt. this is not through |, spirit Of unsc!tshnes5
md self sacrifice Of personal inclination for Tho
pleasure OF others. hut simply through sheer in
nbiity to make ut the right moment an excuse
both reasonable and polite. Tie art of making
excuses is one which people much in society iinl
it absolutely necessary to cultiv'lte II they wish
u retain any command over thoir own time,
thcir own movements, und. we might add, their
own property. Tact, or sAyOir flire, Is the KEY
to this ART, while frankness might certainly be
termed the lock in which TO place the key when
making pulite excuses 1t is surprising how tar
frunkness will carry one in making ata excuse,
either by word Or BY letter; it appeals both to
the good scusts and to the common sense Of the
one to whom it is addrcssed; it sof,ens the re-
fusal, OF whatever character it may be; 1t gives
the assurance that no slight IS intended. ana
that 10 arri1re pensec exists However IT not
| unfrequcntly happens that this charming quail
ity: cannot be exercised, and when this is the
case tact nnd politcncss alone must be e1nployed
in forming acceptable excuses: and very sKifnl
and very clever ure some III handling these oil
springs Of good msnncrs md very clumsy are
others ~ fdo tue use a1 o. a tne an s do 1ov
| urc.
Society may be compared to monster kate
| iloscope With regard to the evcr-changing and
fnn,nernblc situations 1t presents to ench OF It's
| members, and although no two situations or set
| of circumstances may be exactly nike. still
color is tho SAME i tue form differs IT IS mere
| fore almost invdous to select exampes in
illustration Of thus art or accomplishment, IT we
| may be- allowed tho e1DresAnn
| Tho question If Invitations offers large Held
for mixing polite excuses. OF course, in tho
| case Of Il written invitation there IL ths Que
stereotyped excuse, ''n previous engage
| lnent"; but between friends. anu Dy those Win
whom frankncss is practiced, this explanation
eafrea step snneneF i m cnton .a md ID te t
name nf him Or ier''ith when. IT IS made. Thcre
| is Il certain 1iattery in this CONFIDENCE very
agreeable TO tho recipients: una even II unac-
| quaintcd with tho name mentioned, 1t conveys
| Gu assurance OF the sincerity Ut the excuse anu
it IS true polleeue5s so 70 "rite "hefe 1fieuasnp
I fGf3
| 4 previous engagement IS also an al!-Pafa-
| mount excuse to olter IN answer 10 q veepal m
vltulon: but It is when there IS no such reason
| to give that the awkwAr!lncss OF milking II good
| excuse arises, whether the 4nv4tauon be 10 lotm
party ut the theatre or t. dine, or 70 lunch' or
5o p5s q y. son 9atooar put ,wngius re s
| fusal. IN uncomproIh'slns negatiVe. carfles vi
the fncc OF it l. brusfisieacss thnt saSors OIL m
| gracousnes5 anu dlscourtesy; whereas u pollte
excuse Is ny tt!e luuietous
| tzinE. in way breaK1ne tHe lotte ~ retusaa;
| thus: on are very K4nu. put ! nti AI'uost .'s
ufraid shall not be nolo TO MANAGE II, ete.' OF.
/ "tIhAnk you very mi1ch: out am atraln you
| must not depend upon INC; Ill Tact: am almost
| certain snAH MOI pe aoie u coi'c. ete.' w
| saturday. II sou will allow lne. | will ict you
| know, ETC.; or, II Is very good o. you TO
pleasure OF joining your party. !! won't ask you
10 leave it open. us know shall not be able to
avail myself OF your Kind oHer. &C: Or,
| The difficulty of usaking puIite. excuses IS
sometimes increased when = verbal in nvitiuon IS
| given to Il husband and wife, und they nave llot
| been able to cNtlsnlt us tO WHetner tneS hfc
| unanimous in refusing it; or when the invita-
tion is mt given within The hearing OF botn at
the same moment. The one way OF extricatlon
is far tho husband to refer IL the engagements
/ Of his wife. or for the wife to refer to those ot
her husband. thus: "Thn0k you VERY m'ich p4l
l must talk il over with my husband: oon
quite Know what his engagements nfe Ior M 1ii'1t
iuy," etc: or the husband would perhaps Eiec
his wife tho cue that hc wisnea 70 reIase oy
Ing, My dear. So-And-so Is k';lu enough 10 a5ls
to manage it,
variety Of excuses, reasons given ana r. rel1 "a,
sous not given are pernlsslole III answer to s a.
invitations save m lnFltahon 10 dlnner. eile ltle
being that al invitation TO dinner must De aeo G.
cepicd. unless Il bona 'it'e ne ~ enm ,tt ~
plea'ied IN excuse. tue queS;loaa q:;. " et.n ~
not uaning our; one. M .na It, pn ~ s,, -,
triiIin. nimcnts are never offered rs an excuse