The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1881-07-02
AN IDEAL DESPATCH.
The Way Albany News Should be Given.

|
ALBANY. July 2.-Mr. Plat hung par
TALLY out of the Delvan this afternoon, and
Mr.. Conkling paced the floor of the room
within. He was nervous, and his hair,
usually so curly and delightful to look at
hung round hi. neck and shoulders in
struggling, neglected tresses.
DO you see anything of him?' asked
the Gagged lion of Narragansett Pier, halt
ing for moment and gazing earnestly at
Platt.
Mr.. Platt craned his neck possible half
| inch further and stared down the street
with distended eyeballs. The falling rain
battered on his ample forehead and grad
ually took the stiffening out of his collar
but he moved not, neither did he swear.
Say. said Conkling, pulling him by the
coat-tail, edo you see any sign of him?"
do you suppose if | did" growled
Platt, ''that I'd be sticking out here like
a flagpole, making a holy show of myself
before those half-breed wretches across
the street?"
There is no telling what a man like
you would do" replied Cenkling
THAT settles it" said Mr.. Plat draw
ing his head in out of the wet, seating
himself on the up end of trunk in the
corner
Mercy on mer exclaimed Mr. Conk-
ling in alarm. Il hope you are not going
to desert me in this matter"
1--WE said all I've got to say" said Mr..
Plat. 1.-The more man does for you
the less he is thought of, and I give you
notice that l stop right here.
So saying, Mr.. Plat fixed his jaws
determinedly, and taking from his side
pocket revised edition of the New Tesla
ment he was soon oblivious to the affairs
of this world
1T will never do, soliloquized Mr. Conk
ling, fastening to the mirror and gazing at
his head with an expression of holy horror,
for me to show myself in this plight. If
| had only crimped my hair last night l
| would now be presentable.
GIVE us our daily bread, muttered Mr..
! Platt, reading from the book.
/ ''What's the use of talking about giving
anybody bread, snarled Conkling when
the other fellows are offering 50, 900 apiece
for votes %
''Votes ~ exclaimed Mr. Platt, simula-
| ting establishment; what do [ care for
votes Leave me alone please; l am try
| ing to prepare for something better than
anything votes will bring"
! Mr.. Conkling gave his companion a
| look that would have made any Ordinary
fastened to his dressing case. After
good deal of brushing and twisting, he
managed to present more Of a drawing
room appearance. Then he fastened to
the window, and hosting a little parasol
over his head, looked anxiously out.
''Ha! ha!" he laughed Historically, there
they go!'
These remarks were occasioned by the
spectacle of a man rushing down the street,
| pursued by an angry mob. The pursuers
were shaking $1,000 bank bills at him, and
ordering him to halt and accept the money
Say, Platt," asked Conkling, ''ain't
that Bradley, the MAN froW Cattarau-
gus?"
Don't ask me" replied Plat, Il wash
my hands clear of the whole business. "
I'm glad you are going to wash your
hands anyway" was~Co1kling's malignant
retort.
just then the door opened and Chester
Macarthur rushed into the room. He was
terribly out of wind and sank on the bed.
'It-its-aIl rightr' gasped Chester.
Mr. Conkling smiled satirically and
rubbed his hands together.
Il had the money sent around TO the
boys" continued Chester, 'just as you
Look here, Macarthur, cried Mr.. Conk-
ing, W1nKlng SuSgcSJlVclN, uon you uaft
to insinuate that [ have had anything to
do with this disreputable business or III
t-'
Mr.. Conkling apparently choked with
righteous indignation and began frothing
at the mouth greatly to the amusement of
Macarthur.
That's good said the latter ''keep it
up"
William" shouted Mr.. Conkling, open
ing the door so that the people could hear
him, at the same time winking suggestive
ly, 'leaye my presence forever"
That first rate, said Macarthur, clap
ping his hands as he slid out of the room
Having closed the door, Mr.. Conklino
and rolled over on the bed. while Mr.
and continued deeply immersed in the ex
citing pages of the New testament.
10 p. m.--Havc just ascertained that
the men tearing down the street this after
noon by Mr.. Conkling were not pursuing
Mr. Bradley, but were on their way &c
bank to see whether the money that had
been sent them, to vote the half breed tick
ct, was good.
Midnight excitement. Indig
nant stalwarts rushing around after coun
terfeit detectors. Town flooded with two
thousand dollar bills. Beer stores all open
Everybody full-of indi gnation.
1 a. m.-Senator Conkling writing Wig
orous speech on the attempt to bride hi:
followers. 1t will probably prove the
greatest effort of his life.-Ihe Star