The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1881-02-09
WIT AND HUN0R'

An exchange calls the watermelon
'thatinscious capsule of pink moisture
A man may get mad and strike at a
hea with . enowbar, but he's always
sorry tor IL afterwsrd
Patrick on the zebra-'tPhat kind Of
q haste is that-the mule wild his ribs
on the outside of his shkin entoiriy."
The man who can hum 9 hymn while
jointing stove-pipe Is good enough to
walk right into full membership in any
church. without probation
A celebrated wit was asked why he
did not marry o young lady to whom he
was much attached II know no rea-
son. replied he Except the great re-
gard w have for each other"
There is a knock at the front door.
and the colored person says TO the lady
OF the house: "ls you de white CONAN
what told colored gemman you was
lookin' for q colored lady to wash your
clothes by the mumff"-lGalyeston
News.
The following letter was received by
an undertaken recently from an afflicted
widower: Sunny wiaf is ded and
wonts to be berried tomorrow at Woner
klock. u nose wair TO dig the Hole
by the said of my two other wiafs-let
it be deep"
There are some scenes almost too
pure and sacred TO be viewed by the
thoughtless world. One of them is q
acknowledgement woman with q mole
on her chin talking baby to an
ounce-and-a-half canary bird in a brass
cage.
A Scotch minister, in one of his paro-
chial visits, met a cow boy, and asked
him what o'clock it was. About
twelve, SIR" was the reply. ''Well,"
remarked the minister. II thought it
was more" '.It's never any more
here" said the boy; at just begins at
one again"
Train up a child in the way that he
shall go, and it may turn out that way
In the long run, but all the precept and
example ever promulgated can't save
him from tho sheepish. awkward feeling
sure to seize him when he goes spark
ing the first time.
When a country editor, who is strug-
Cling along trying t rear a large family
and build up a town On an income of five
hundred a year. discovers that q base
ball pitcher hauls In four thousand dol
lars for the season. it makes him sit
down On o roller-box and think.
There is an ingenious theory abroad
that the scalpette, as the BARRIERS call it,
the foretop as 1t used to be styled when
ladies spoke their mother tongue, is
worn by women whose own hair is
abundant, simply to preserve it. No
mar ever accepted that theory, but the
girls like to put it forward.
German papers are in q hilarious up
roar over the following story: A He
brew mother rushed to a Hebrew father
with, Abraham, the child has swal-
lowed the silver coin you gave him, and
is like to die" The father, true to his
racial. instincts, sought to comfort his
better half by saying, mo matter, my
dear. it vas only q counterfeit"
When you meet a young man who is
smoking a cigar it is your duty to stop
him, and say, Young man. that cigar
contains acetic, formic, butyric, valerie
and proprionic acids, prussic acid, ere
osote. carbolic acid. ammonia, sulphur
oted hydrogen, pyridine, virodine. pic
olene and rubidence, to say nothing of
cabbagine and burdockic acid. He
may stick to the cigar, but you have
done your duty in the premises.
II want to find out who is the master
of this house." said the man with a book
under his arm to the vinegary-looking
woman with a pointed nose and a very
small top-knot who opened the door for
him. 'Well, stranger" she said with
arms akimbo, '.you just walk around
into the backyard, and ask a little
spindle-shanked deacon you'll find
there fixin' up the grape-nrbor, and
he'll tell you If l don't boss this ranch
he don't know who does. Now what
do YOU want with meP.