The Hickman courier. [volume] (Hickman, Ky.) 1859-current, 1881-04-15

SJdlig Stt.tuS uiOP Ci4 uo
THE chap that puts the meat into the
brine is the real corner in beef.
IF the shell of an egg was as hard as
the shell of an oyster, there would be
less poor actors on the American stage.
on, she was nice to eat,
Remarked the alligatori
She tasted very sweet,
And am gladiator.
"THE GREAT AMERICAN CONDENSER"
formerly of the New York Sun, is dead.
He got sick trying TO abbreviate ]. Pu's
name.
THE Boston journal of Commerce
publishes a lot of dyeing recipes; but
none of them beat the old way of fooling
with an empty shotgun.
AN exchange speaks of Chicago man
who ''has one foot in the grave" Pre-
sumo it's all they could get in without
enlarging the cemetery.
AIR. RAGBAG said to Mr.. Gallagher:
''If l were in your place l would go out
to the woods and hang myself. Said
Gallagher: eve all wish you were in my
place"
DREAMY young lady in railway car
riage to cheerful and exceedingly healthy.
looking young man: 'Oh, sir, are you
esthetic?" 'sNo, ma'am; I'm butcher"
--NetO York Comm erciat.
\ APPOINTMENT lumberman in Burlington
has had his coat-of- Farms painted on ths
panels of his carriage, with the Latin
! motto g Vfdi, . which by interpretation is
- saw. - s3is'liil1torl HdUkeye.
'-yIA1JEr, why, -yess1dear little girl,
I exclaimed her grandpa, seeing his little
/ grand d-daughter with her head tied up,
/ ''have you got the headache ?" ''No,
she answered sweetly, Use dot q spit
/ trrl P"
You've America in Chicago: When
Chicago little boy is bad and his mamma
orders him to stand In the corner, he
edges toward the door and remarks:
'Say. ma, is it a corner in lard or q
corner III pork?"
A Chicago man comes home from
Paris 10 give the hotel keepers there a
racket because they charged him thirty
cents for soaking his feet.-DetrOit Free
Press. Considering he was a Chicago
man, we should say they furnish the
water cheap.
Y. Is a business man whose wheedling
and devout ways have until now hid his
rascally character "Beware of him, "
one day man said to his friend, "he's a
hypocrite and will play you bad turn. ="
How, such pious mani His eyes are
ALWAYS lifted toward Heaven" Eyes, but
his hands *."-Eig0rO.
THE sexton's sweetheart's was Nell,
And she called the village belle;
When hope had made the sexton bold,
one night his love for Nell he tolPd,
While TO his neck she fondly cluug,
a nd lovingly her hand he wrung;
Her sentiment with his just chimed,
And his appeal she thought well-tiLned
And having tol'd his love WELL
She whispered he might ring the belle.
4 LITTLE miss has a grandfather
, who has taught her to open and shut his
crush hat. The other day, however, he
: came with an ordinary silk one. Sud
, denly he sees the child coming with the
new stove-pipe wrinkled like an accor
> deon. ooh, grandfather" she says
.'this one is very hard I've had to 81
! on it. but 1 can't get it more than hal
shut. Paris Figaro.
, A FRENCH soldier is placed on sentry
: over 64pounder When, two hours
later, the guard comes to relieve him he
is not at his post and is only found, aftel
some trouble. in a wine-shop. 80 Yo'
= internal scoundrel," says the officer o
h the guard. - is that the way you keel
5 watch over the cannon committed Z
q your care?" "Well, cap" says the sol
S dier. don't you see, / figured the matte
! ND and found that it would take at leas
y t1selIly- -41lc1a.to move that gun. Suppos
: one or two came along, they couldn't d
|. any harm; but if there were enough G
a ,em to carry it away do you think coul
o prevent them-whip twenty of them b.
o myself?"