Osage Valley banner. (Tuscumbia, Miller County, Mo.) 1879-1881, 1881-03-24
Twisting a calrs Tai


There is nothing that dema, lsstates-
manship of high order as milh as the
driving of a COW with a you calf TO
any particular place. Twoj aiyeston
cOlOred men undertook of this
character yesterday, and altll igh they
gave the matter their careful, tcniion,
the result was very far from ltislacto-
ry TO anybody except the & which
seemed to enjoy il very ml {, Etim
and Bill were to get dollar AXE the
COW and calf and put them HE yard
ot the owner, Mr.. Thomas CQ Ia. Who
iiye5 at-vfie south end 81 &C, fasa~ ~
enuc, After trying in vain 10 get the
COW to understand in what direction
they preferred she should go, Sam and
Bill called a cabinet meeting, at which
the following campaign planwas agreed
upon: Sam was 10 take up the calf in
his arms and 60 ahead. while Bill was
10 hold the COW back by the rope which
was fastened 10 her horns.
"llf she goes too fast" said Bill, "rH
Jest hold her back
''And of she don't fOller fast enough
I'll Jest twist de calls tail, and den she
will como right along said Sam.
sam took up the calf and went
ahead, while Bill, i'm order TO get real
good hold, tied the rope around his
wrist The procession proceeded slow
" in the desired direction, and would
have reached its destination in safety
had not Satan tempted Bill 10 get OF
joke on Sam, so he called out;
sam, Jess twist dc caf tail. "
Sam did so, and the calf beatod as IL
il was opposed TO an encore to the per-
fOrmance.
1hoold COW began to trot So did
Sam, holding on TO the calf rs il he had
stolen it. Then the fun began, for
every once in n while the COW would
polish her horns on the ceilings of Sam )
pants. Bill could not get his hands out
of the rope, and, as he had short legs,
he had hard work keeping up with the
procession. or rather in not letting 90.
lie ran 50 fast that the kinks OF his
wool Strengthened out. Finally he
gasped:
sam, ontwist dat CATS tail.
Sans legs moved so rapidly that they
looked like the spokes OF buggy, but
he called back
Bin, don't LET go dat rope, dc COW 5
al.tAlllft bll INT,
Drop do ca" called poor Bill,
whose arm was coming out Of its sock
Ct "Drap dc caf, for / can keep up
wild dc COW. Go slow, niggah, or IN
turn De COW loose on you, which. how
ever was more than he was able to do.
Bill made the next fifty yards on his
back. he stillmost unwillingly retaining
his hold on the rope. Fortunately, the
COW overtooK Sam, and in return for his
kinoness in picking up the calf, she
picked him up on her horns and threw
him over into Mr.. Carlyle's yard, Bill,
who was rather tired of chasing the COW,
thought he would climb over and see
what Sam was doing. The COW ap-
peared to understand his wishes in that
direction, so she started on a run to
help him ont. or rather over. She was
little late, but he went about ten feet
further into the field than he would have
done without her assistance. There
was neither of them so badly hurt as
they were when old Carlyle came and
told them TINT the contract was that
they should put the COW in the yard.
Instead of that, the COW had put them
in the yard, so the dollar belonged TO
himself as the owner Of the COW.
IL is Thought lawsuit will grow out
OF the matter GairestoR Ke0s.