The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1881-09-01
THE SIGNORA'S RING.
BY AN ABSENT-MINDED MAN.

worse than Dr.-Df.- Wnat = his name,
who went into church on Sunday with
his tishing.rod to see why the doors were
open, or than -than-Thingumy, who
used his lady loves little finger for a
tobacco stopper. Bless mel never can
remember names.
1t is very dreadful, but suffer more
from it than any one else can, and that
affair about the Signora's diamond ring
haven't you heard of it +? I'll tell you:
It was at Mrs. IS. They had lit
tie musical party, and Signora Divine
was asked to play. had taken her
down to supper, and l took her to the
piano and opened her music for her.
After she seated herself at the piano she
first took off her gloves, and then her
bracelets and then her ring. She only
wore one, large cluster diamond,
worth q good many thousands, 1 sup
pose. She put her handkerchief and
gloves on the piano; laid her bracelets
on them, and gave me her ring to hold.
''Eet ees valuable" said she; ''but 1
can never play with ring on. I geeve
it to you to take care"
Then she began to play. She played
divinely sonata by la-la-la-what
d'you call him, and nocturne by tother
fellow-oh, bother his name!-and then
they appla6ded, and she courtesied, and
she put on her bracelets and held out
her hand to me, and I-shook it. I
didn't know what else to do. And she
laughed and said:
ooh, tank you, but besides Eat my
reeng."
Her ring! I'd forgotten all about it. 1
turned faint, but began to rummage in
my pockets, to look at my fingers, to feel
ND my sleeves-all to no purpose. /
called my friends to my aid, and We
searched the piano, the chairs, the
carpet. They turned my pockets inside
out again for me, for my absent-minded
ways were well-known. 1 opened my
pocket book.
The Signora sat calmly in chair and
smiled, and said:
"Oh, You veel fnd," in the most
polite manner, and my friends kept say
ing to me: "Now, Fuzz, old boy, why
did you take thing like that to take
care of? You ought to know yourself
better by this time But nobody
found the jewel.
At last the Signora began to look very
solemn, and the Signora's husband to
scowl and mention the value of the ring,
and the fact that the Empress of-what
you may call 'em, gave it to the Signora;
and the musicale resolved into party of
ring hunters, who gradually slipped
away, leaving me with our hostess to
bear the brunt of the calamity.
81 am so distressed" said Mrs.-I
can't remember her name, but they give
very nice parties, and go there often;
''but I'm confident that Mr.. Fuzz has put
it somewhere. He'll remember where
after awhile"
"Oh, yes, I'm sure to do So" said.
eff not"
was at loss for words, for did not
really believe that all my possessions in
a lump would pay for the Signora's dia-
monds, or for one of them; but the Sig
nora continued.
"Oh, 1 know veil ow honorable is re
America gentleman;" while the Signor
added
"Vat sink ees, some Won rob re ring;
Eat is vat link"
At last we all went home. l myself
began to believe, with the Signor, that
the ring was stolen. 1 tried to remem-
Der who came near me; James, the wal
ter; Anne, the maid; Pratt, junior. who
gambled.
1t was useless. 1 could remember
nothing except that the pet poodle of the
house, Frowsy by name, had jumped
upon my knee, and that had tried to
keep him from barking.
II suppose dropped it then" / said
to myself, and could have killed the
little brute.
However, at dawn, there came knock
on the door. 1t was the Signor in ter
rible rage.
"Sure." he said, II come to ask eef
you find"
"Your wife's ring. Not yet I re-
piled. "I'm going to hunt for it."
"To unt?" said the Signor.
$50 try to find it, said 1; "cherchez
you know, eh?"
~ do not know nozings," said the Sig
nor; "only zis--it is besser yon find, also
like re English say, between re post wiz
you and me, You can easy find.
"Do 20 mean 1911 eh?" said l.
"Lissen," said the Signor. I'm Won
hour make a sharge on re polls, eh?"
II am going round to Mrs. what's
her names, to look for it, l said. "Come
along-come on. After l find it I'm
going to knock you down." said l. /
rushed down the stairs. had been
dressing all the while, and we reached
our hostess's house. Ill think OF her