New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1881-08-14
THE MAJORS MONKEY.

When T. d very young subaltern, first Joined my
regiment the Royal Manx Fusileersl the depot had
been for some six months stationed at the delight
/ suppose my brother officers had by that time
contrved to exhaust all the resources of the neigh
oorhoGd IN the NAY way OF amusement tor on my
conversation First snipe-shooting- bog with
bird in it lying within reach. Second the sayings
beauties, daughters of the local solicitor who kept
a"carge" and resided in a stuccO villa with
which the manly forms of two or more of the Royal
Manx were generally to be seen lonnging-.n con-
versation with the lovely Ger'ldne Norah.
Third, Major Manliers monkey, and why he kept
The snipe became bore now and then ones in
terest in GeIdines bewitehng Irishsms or
Norahs conquests might even flag occasionally, but
the mention OF Congo's name or of his latest in
directly.
Congo was beautiful little creature, with long,
Doft fur dark face and paws, and gentle, mournful
eyes, the temper of wild cat and the morals of an
imp of darkness Tie was supposed to reside in a
house. made of wne-case, in Carmody, the Majors
servants room; but except for the purpose of Sc
GREETING his plumber in the straw, never found
Every device that the mind of man could con-
ceive. and Carmody hit upon fresh one once a
week at least, failed to him. He bit through
leather and rope, united knots, picked locks, dis
located chains and always ended by flying like
uemon-sPider, up aud down every passage and stair
ease in the pace-Carmody swearing in his wake
I'LL he gained some coign OF vantage whence it was
impossible to dslodge him.
To appreciate the situation should have
known the Major.
He was a sedate and dignifed parsonage, about
forty, very quiet and rather precise aud old
maidish' in his ways. / always suspected that he
considered himself created by nature to be the
regular pattern of the British officer and gentleman
and intended his dress demeanor and conversation
to be instructive studies for us youngsters-each
was so perfect in its way. L can't imagine why we
didn't detest him. | think were rather proud of
him and considered him a credit to the regiment
lie was a thoroughly good knd-hearted fellow an
fond and was generally understood that he could
II he chose do everything better than anybody
ChDOSe hell
aoof from our sports and pastimes not only refus-
actually declining TO lend him to Miss Norah Nc
Gran for the occasion.
His dress was study of cut and color from the
parting oil his hair TO the toes of his boots; but |
think his rooms impressed me most-such comb
nation of military precision with feminine preti-
TO his shelves and chimney board; tigerskins
crewel-work, antimacassars military models and
cravings and photographs about, and over the fire
place hung large water-color sketch, Brockwood,'
which, without the slightest foundation for the
idea we all agreed to be the Majors birthplace or
inheritance, OF which he had been somehow wrong.
There was also big writing table, surrounded by
laden bookshelves, at which he spent most of his
spare time celebrating and revising his great work
on tactics. of which we were wont 10 speak with
scene of peaceful propriety a fouI-armed fend
rampagng, leaving destruction in his train PLAYING
all manner of impish pranks, hiding a bottle of
.Brilliantine,' carefully uncorkod in the MAJORS
boots; swallowing every stud he possessed under
the densIon they were bon bons; or bombardng
him with freshly corrected proof-sheets crumpled
and chewed into pellets--and you'll have some
notion of the never-fang zest the existence of
Why did he keep III
Some of Congos performances turned him lIvid
with rage, but never drove him TO co 1demninQ the
brute TO exile or execution.
Every man has his pet Extravaganza he was wont
/ never but once saw Major Mariller nearer TO
i2elng excited than when rumor that Congo was
He WASH 7, the beast; he had as many hiding-hoes
as magple. My bed one, and there he was
found IN company with Carmody's backing brush
ohS ol the MAJORS immaculate CATERS, and the big
Owls head with the red glass eyes that used to
acorn Miss Lavima McCran's hat just in time to
prevent ms master from bursting into tears, or
mnent. ~
What did it meant
e. we sPeculaed; argued, betted, nearly fought
X. so disproportionate grew the excitement in the
U noi, stagnaton OF our lives in Baynoggn and got
no nearer the truth. Once the solution of the
Sgnigina seemed within our grasp-thanks TO Mr.
Terence O'Flaherty.
ne was local ;sgureen proprietor of the before
mentioned bog whom in default of orher society
we used TO invite continually to mess
ii9 i, was heavy enough when sober; later on great
on Home Rule and the departed eIories Of ireland
az anu nus family The fghtin Flahertys' duelsts
erty was kent praye days of Old when Castle Fah
u, In the cellars would have flooded the country for
" iaherty was mixing himself some wbislev and
water one evening before departing romancing
dne WINE gloIiously when suddenly d black figure
where alighting on nII q nouna IRON some
Nh ongo; OF course He cawed fast to O'Flaherty's
aI Win one hand and plunged the other into the
ssSSa.uihg prev presumably in search of sugar:
tr ri, chaterng wrathfully, upset the boiling mix
OF his hair. M '''"''no" "i'n LOCK
ofiaherty's language was forcible: well il might
nor Iia t apologized Iii the handsomest man.
sia,ht;' ,he blood of the descendant of the
nshih tGahertys was up and mere words had
no power 20 appease him ~ ~ '0-N O'N' ''""
,h nc demanded the instant execution of Congo or
n afna
Major o rnsse your only alternativesp asked the
. rrIhey are clustered Terence.
tatingy. IVY '"''oi' saio Marnlicf ohhesi-
erty, suddenly soberei And If von tb;nk t t,a
oFahe lts D oas tb worth ghtn about Terence