The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1881-09-01
0artetp..
VARIETY SCRAPS.


Are all watches second. d.handsdH
collection Of Stamps--ApplauSe in the gal.
lery. '.r .......
The bump Of deStructlveneBs- railway col.
lislon.
Giving fourteen ounces to the pound-the
weigh some men have to get rich.
Who says 1t 10 unhealthy to sleep in feAthersf
Look ct the spring chicken and see how tough
he Is. ...
There are great many substitutes for tobacco.
We know Of man in this country who smokes
hams.
American horses will never make as much
there.
Still waters run deep, but not In the modern
hollow bot;omed bottles in which still waters are
sold.
office, he can have his property and no questions
asked
A Western hHmoTlst, who Is counting q girl
named FurlOng, says 1t 10 an eighth Of mile
around her waist.
b Eat onions, sis" 10 tina Boston Posts advice to
maiden who wants to know how to avoid hav.
ing muBtache on her upper lip.
The small boy reasons In this way: "II dog
catches cat" It can not be wrong to say, A dog
plg.ches pig, land that Is why he wrote It,
A sick gluttOn sent for doctor. II have lost
my appetite" said he In great alarm. "All the
better" said the doctor. you'll be sure to die II
you recoVerit
And here 10 Boston Sunday school boy who,
when asked to stand up and say his verse, did 1t
thus: "Be no; overcome Of evil, but come It over
evil with good"
''stateamsnI" yelled q neWSboy, thrusting his
head In at the door II an avenue saloon. Four
Of the six thirsty loungeB arose promptly and
answered, Here"
Jones complained OF q bad smell about the
postoffce, and asked Smith what It could be,
Smith didn't know, but suggested that 1t might
be the dead letters.
. II you grasp rsttlesnske firmly about the
neck with your hand he cannot hurt you, says q
Western newspaper. To be perfectly safe It
would be well to let the hired hand do the grasp
ing.
Nothing was 80 much dreaded in our school.
boy days as to be punlAhed bv sitting between
two girls. Oh, the force Of eduoauon In after
years we leaned to submit to such things with
out shedding q tear. .. .....
There was an old maiden in Lynn,
10 Who thought ct Oroquet she could win;
r But ahe aimed rather lOW
T. And banged her big toe,
And knocked all the bark of her shin.
"whAt side Of the street do you live on, Mrs.
KippleT asked q counsel crOss.exRming wit.
nesB. "on either side, II yOu go one way, irSon
the right Hide II you 60 the other way, IT'S on the
left" l21,gu. q. ...# ..
A paper recently started In New York Is called
the Travellers Friend. Mr.. Pinaphor, whose bus
lnesB calls him from home frequently, says the
best travellers friend Ia an arrangement made Of
glass, and holds about pint.
A man in paHslng country grave yard saw the
sexton digging a grave, and inquired, "Who'a
deadf" Sexton: "0ld Squire Bumblebee" Man:
What complaint" Sexton, without looking up:
mo complaint everybOdy'B sStisaed"
"Only boy with his noise and fun"
And his big tin horn and his yAWping gun,
/ And his heavy boots and hia agile hammer,
And his throat Of ten Wild.Injln clamor;
His booms and drums, and skin for racket,
That's tighter at than his under jacket,
Only boy, but when In tune
HeG match for wake and big typhOon.