The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1881-01-27
saw a Watch-spring running clear,
A monkey.wrench his paw;
1saw q donkey engineer,
A picture frame a law.

picture frame law.
saw cow'hide in the grass
rush.light on the floor;
saw CandlestiGk IN mud,
And bellpull on the door.
A man was arrested in New York the other day
with coffin under his arm, which he was try.
Ing to sell for ten cents. The man wanted two
biers worse than one coffin.
The following is an epltaph from tomb near
Versailles; Except in 1859, during which for
several days she took lessons on the piano, her
life was without stain.'
What's your taste p asked a Boston house
painter OF a customer. i can give you harmo.
ny In green and white, or a symphony In laven-
der and brown, or a nocturne In yellow and
blue
When boy walks With girl as though he were
AFRAID some one might see him. the girl is his els.
ter. II he walks so close to her as to nearly
crowd her against the fence It Ia another fellows
sister,
why should we celebrate Washingtons birth.
day more than miner asked teacher. Because
he never told lie shouted a little boy.
The difference between the school boy and the
clerk boy is that one stores the mind and the
other minds the store.
The base drum player mrkes more noise than
anybody else; but he doesn't lead the band
There Is moral to this
Mark Twain, speaking Of new mosquito net.
ting, writes: The day is coming when we shall
sit nnder our nets in church and slumber peace
fully, while the discounted flies club toEethe,
and take 1t out Of the minister.
A New York lady examining an applicant fol
the office Of maid.of.allwork interrogated her AZ
follows: Mary, can you scour tinware with
alacrityT Perhaps could, ma'am; ibut I gen,
orally have secured with sand
The women are against Mormonism, therefore
Its days are numbered, In fact, perhaps the pre-
sent incumbents had better be picking out theil
first wife,
There never were 80 mGny inducements for {
white man to be Ponca as now. The entire
country Is worrying for fear that these red mer
Will not obtain their rights,
After an enthusiastic lover spends two hours
hard labor over letter to his girl, and then mar
i;s beauty by spilling drop OF ink on IT, he frs
sWears in scientific manner for few minutes
and then draws circle rornd the blot and tell
her 1t is kiss, and she, poor thing, believes H.
hyour sister, while engaged In tender con
Versation with her sweetheart asks you to brinS
glass OF water from an adjoining room, you ca1
start on the errand, but need not return. Yo,
Will not be missed-that'8 certain. This depart
ment has seen 1t tried. Don't forget this, littl,
boys.
William goes q courtIn',
With her silent sits,
Both engaged in sortin'
Wood in little bits.
Not a word they utter
Curious kind Of courtin--
Now and then they mutter:
"Thirteen-ffteen-
school boy being asked by a rival on tn
street, which was the highest study in his schoo
replied with stare Of pity and surprise Why
astronomy, Of course.
III have ever used any unkind words, Han
nah, said Mr.. Smith, rehectvely, 4 take ther
all back Yes, suppose you want to use ther
ov again. was the not very soothing reply.
A South End woman hunted two hours for
needle she dropped on the floor, and couldn
find 1t, and then her husband came in, and ha
hardly taken his boots Off before he could to
where it was. Queer how men can do thins
women can't.
Angelica asked Augustus, who was mic
young man, what was the synonym OF liquo
He put his face close to hers and loving sal
he didn't know. She told him she did, and 9
she removed from the reach of his BREATH sh
said she was certain that whisky was the 81
in him, and the next time Augustus called, b
wore beautiful blue ribbon on his coat iror
and delicately nibbled Glove.