davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1881-07-21
Cured by Imagination.

AT large hotel the not uncommon
dilemma arose of there being only one
room in the house vacant when two
visitors required accommodation for
the night. 1t was a double-bedded
chamber, or was soon converted into
such, and the two guests who were
both commercial travellers agreed to
share it. One of these gentlemen was
confirmed hypochondriac, and greatly
alarmed his companion by waking him
up in the middle of the night, gasping
for breath. "Asthma," he painted out;
81 am subject to these spasmodic at
tacks. Open the window quickly;
give me airr' Terrified beyond meas
ure, the other jumped out OF bed. But
the room was pitch dark; he had no
matches, and he had forgotten the
position of the window. "FOr heavens
sake be quickp gasped the invalid.
Give me more air, or l shall choke!
At length, by dint of cropping wildly
and upsetting half the furniture in the
apartment, the window was found; but
| it was an old-fashioned easement. and
no hasp or catch was to he discovered.
Quick, quick; air! air" implOred the
apparently dying man. Open it, break
it, or / shall be suffocatedw Thus ad-
iurei, his friend lost no time, but seiz-
ing boot, smashed every pane; and
the sufferer Immediately experienced
great relief. ooh, thank you; thou
sand thanks. HAP he exclaimed.
drawing deep sighs which testified te
the great comfort he derived; 81 think
in another moment should have beer
dead" And when he had sufficiently
recovered and expressed his heartfelt
gratitude, he described the intense dis
tress Of these attacks, and the length Of
time he had suffered from them. AT
ter while both fell asleep again, de
voutly thankful for the result. 1t wa
a warm summer night and they felt NJ
Inconvenience from the broken win
dow; but when daylight relieved tn
pitchy darkness of the night the win
dow was found to he still entirel Ha'
invisible GLACIERS been at work already
or was the episode of the past nigh
only dream? No; for the floor wa
still strewn with the broken glass
Then, as they looked around the room
in amazement. the solution of the mys
terry presented itself In the shape OF a.
antiquated bookcase, whose iattice'
glass doors were shattered wreck
The spasmodically attacked one wa
cured from that moment. 80 mucl
for imagination.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1881-07-21
Manners.

Manners.
Educational Monthly.
A man is made by his manners
That is, if he has no manners he is no
man. Let us look at some of the places
where you will show your manners-if
you have any.
l. First. on entering room. was in
a house waiting to see gentleman the
other day, and young man entered.
His hat was on his head and he did
not take it off. He advanced and stood
in the center of the room, and put his
hands in his pockets. Then he sidled
mp against the wall and leaned against
it. Every one pitied him. If you en-
ter the house, take your hat off in the
hall and ask for the person you desire
to see. If shown into the parlor, step
in with your hat in hand and take a
seat and wait for his coming. If the
master or mistress of the house is in
the parlor with guests, you advance to
him or her, and shake hands, if either
offer to do so. You converse with him
or her few moments, and then, if
others come, you step aside. When
you decide to retire you come to bid the
master or mistress goodnight.
Second, at the table. You will have
a place shown you, and you will be
helped to food. Use your knife and
fork properly. Divide the food so as
to relieve the teeth of part of their
wOrk-that is, have small mOuthfuls
The grinders indicate that grinding i'm
the mouth is a part of the process of
eating. Animals destitute of grinders
bolt their food. Its not lit that human
beings should eat us dogs do since they
have each mill" ready for use-which
dogs have not. The lips are so con-
structed that the noise oc grinding.
which is intolerable to ears polite, may
be effectually disguised. Food, wheth-
er liquid or solid, must be conveyed in
to the mouth and from the mouth
downward silently.
The position at the table should be
unconstrained and easy, the person sit
ting erect or slightly bent forward
when eating, SO that the mouth may
lie directly above the plate; the arms
should be held at the side, not extended
at right angles. with the body. The
elbows should be kept off the table.
Leaning back in ones chair, or bal
ancing on the legs of ones chair, is a
grievous violation of table etiquette,
permitted only and wrongly to spoiled
children. The mouth and fingers must
be kept, during all the process of eating,
absolutely clean. The dainty eater
will keep his plate in order and leave
it SO, with knife and fork laid across
the plate.
Now, if your manners are good at
home they will be good abroad. 1t is
a common idea that you can eat and
talk rudely at home, but you can put
on good manners rs soon as you get tC
a neighbor's house. This is not so. II
you are rude at home, you will be rude
away from home. Practice politeness
at home. Some fear TO be polite al
home for fear of being laughed at, but
what if they do laugh? 1t is an old
proverb, "Let those laugh that win. u
And | say so. If your brothers and
} sisters laugh because you will not eat
with a knife, or because you insist on
having napkin, or blacking your
shoes when you go to church or to
, make a visit; never mind, you are
right; so go ahead.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1881-07-21

to exhibit. made him pay for them
you may be sure. He has got full
set, dress lace cap and all, down to the
shoes and stockings, but they cost him
all they were worth. Never mind how
much that was. If people want to
know my prices they can ask me
young man. That is what / adver
tise for" There was carriage with
a liveried coachman at Mrs. Martins
door when the reporter got to the cor
ner. Another republican admirer of
monarchical customs was about to pay
her respects at second hand.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1881-07-21
Mark Twain's Preparations for Pos.
sibIe Encounter With the Comet.


New York sun
"You see, they are all wrong about
the tail. I've ciphered on that tail
until l understand every inch of it.
It's absurd to suppose that the tail isn't
solid, and pretty tough, too. Do you
imagine that this comet could go bulg-
ing through space at the rate of 200
miles a minute without knocking spots
out of tail that was vapOr. Tie fog
bank on to the rear end of the New
York and Boston 4 o'clock express
start her off at even forty miles an
hour, and see how long your fog bank
will travel in company with your 10.
cOmotive. Yet they ask us to swallow
this internal nonsense about the comets
tail. My observations of this fellow
and also of COggia's comet, seven years
ago, have convinced me that comets
tails are fastened on tight, and are OF
a flbrous and durable nature, like
Hartford beefSteak."
"And what do you propose to dC
with your pole?' / asked.
"Great Cesarp he exclaimed. "Witt
4 tail forty-twO million. miles long
three million miles thick, and tough a.
whip leather, whisking about in th,
wake of that piratical craft every time
she tacks overhead, don't you see tn,
necessity of keeping cool headed ant
muscular man ON deck here to fend of
in case the cussed thing whisks thi
way?'
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1881-07-21
TopnoodY,s Narrow Escape


Topnoody made up his mind that he
was not going to be bossed any longer
by his wife, so he went home at noon
and called out imperiously: "Mrs. Top
noodyl Mrs. Topnoodyi" Mrs. T.
came out of the kitchen with a drop
of sweat onthe end of her nose, dish
rag tied round her head, and a rolling
pin in her hand. "WeIl sir" she said
"whatH you have?" TopnoOdy stag.
gered, but braced up. "Mrs. Top
moody, 1 want you to understand
madam, and he tapped his breast
dramatically-"I am the engineer OF
this establishment" s"Ob, you are, an
you? Well, Topnoody, I want you t.
understand that P-and she looked
dangerous-"am the boiler that vii
blow up and sling the engineer
clear over into the next coun
ty. Do you hear the steam es
Gaping, TopnoodyY' Topnoody heart
it. and he meekly inquired il ther,
was any assistance he could rem
derin the hOusework.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1881-07-21

That was witty man who, being de
tanned by a snow blockade, penned dis
patch which ran thus: "My dear sir, l
have every motive for visiting you except
a locomotive" So was the other man who,
under similar circumstances, telegraphed
to his firm in New York; II shall not be
in the Office to-day, as have not got home
vesferday.v
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1881-07-21
A Bluff Game

He was an old man, and said he'd
seen better times. hoped he had, but
rs l was unusually busy and didn't
want any life insurance, if he would
excuse me
"Oh, yes" said he; "all right, young
man, I'll drop in again."
The next day he did drop in," and
sitting down on my desk, began:
Nothing in this word, my young
friend, will pay SO big per cent on
the little money invested as policy in
the Mutual Benefit association, the
most, and, in fact, the only solid COM
pany on earth; capital over 81, ,000, 900,
and so prompt-why, insured a man
last week for $40, 900, and the same day
he was run over by street car, SO
when sent in the policy and premium,
just said by way of =. s.: Run
over by hOss car not an hour after in
sured; better send on check, as he can't
live; both legs cut off, The very next
day l got check payable TO his heirs
for $10,560. Dividend, my friend, was
more than the premium, and don't you
call this prompt? That mans widow
got this check before he had been dead
fifteen minutes"
But" said ], 81 have no wife and
don't want any life insurance, tell
you
"The investment, my young friend
the investment. Look at the dividend
This nlin got $3.50 in one hour, you
might say; and then you will have a
wife some day. Now, you do want a
policy in this company. l know you
do. I'm an old man; have had large
and varied experience, and / know
you are aching for one of these policies
only you are SO extremely modest
Now, I'll just make out your applica
tion; it only costs yOu-let me see
How old are yOu"
"Twenty-Six, but"
"Twenty'six-hum. Father livingr
mo"
"HOw old was he when he died =
"Twenty-Seven years old"
"Twenty-seyen, hey? What did he
die of? Accident, l presume?"
mo, sir; consumption"
Consumption? You don't looh
Consumptive."
But L am consumptive, and
"Mother'S living, / doubt not?"
mo, sir, she died at twenty-eight.'
"What was the cause of her death ?
"Insanity, sir, hereditary insanity
family's full of it. All of my brothers
thirteen of lis in all, sir, died between
twenty-fOur and twenty-eight of the
same disease. Dangerous, to, some O
them; my oldest brother was taker
about this time one day. and he killet
his partner, book-keeper, three clerk:
and thirteen customers before the,
could secure him, and"
"YOu don't tell me. This is wonder
full. You look like a strong, health,
man, likely to live fifty years. Wa
you ever sicky'
"Oh, yes; I've had the inflammator,
rheumatism, pneumonia, dysentery
smallpox, mumps, liver complaint, lits
cOrns, and
"Good heavensi And you want m
to insure your life. Well, my compan,
is good company, willing to take al
ordinary business risk, but must sa
never knew them to insure a corpse
!, I'd like TO accommodate you, youn
man; you seem anxious about 1t, an
feel interested in your family, bu
our surgeon wouldn't pass such an al
plicatiOn. Good day."
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1881-07-21

them that would not be willing to serve
as United States senator without the
salary, and / question whether there is
one of them that would serve if the
salary was the only consideration at
stake.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1881-07-21
Mo t,osnita, Needed.

No palatial hospital needed for Hop
Ritters patients, nor large-salaried tai.
entad buffers to tell what Hop Bitters Will
do or cure, as they tell their own story by
their certain and absolute cures at home
Nc,p York Independent.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1881-07-21

We should take care that we enrich our
imagination with none but true seautiful
and good images.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1881-04-15
Resolutions on a Wedding Day.

When the celebrated Theodore Par
ker married Miss Cabot, he entered IN
his journal, on his wedding day, the
subjoined resolutions, the keeping of
which made his married life happy
one:
/. Never, except for the best OF rea-
sons, to oppose my wife's will
2. TO discharge all duties for her sake
freely.
3. Never to scold.
4. Never to look cross at her.
5. Never to weary her with COM
mands.
6. To promote her piety.
7. TO bear her burdens.
s. To overlook her foihles.
8. To save, cherish, and forever de-
fend her.
10. To remember her always, most
aflectionately i'll my prayers.
Thus, God willing, We shall be
blessed
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1881-04-15

size of this country and the countries of
the Old World lying west Of Russia and
Turkey England is az large as New
Brunswick, Scotland rs Nova Scotia, New
foundland as Ireland. France stretches
from the northern boundary of Maine to
the western boundary of Ohio. and to
the southern boundary of Pennsylvania.
Germany could be got into the space
lying between the southern boundary of
Pennsylvania and New jersey, the At.
lantic, the Ohio river, the Mississippi
river, and the northern boundary of
Georgia and South Carolina. Spain is
equal in area to South Carolina, Geor-
gia. Alabama and Louisiana. Italy re-
sembles Florida, both in size and shape.
Austria would embrace Lake Michigan
and the four States between the lakes
and the Mississippi river - Michigan,
Wisconsin, Illinois and Indiana. So that
the area of the United States east of the
Mississippi, orabout three-eighths of the
total area, is equal to the states of Eu-
rope, excluding Russia and Turkey.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1881-04-15
4 Family of Chronic Laughers.

A preposterous story originates in
Frenchtown, New Jersey, of farmer
and his family of sons and daughters
who live near by. They are chronic
laughers, and when the fit is on them,
can no more restrain their exclamation
than a well-regulated clock can keep
from ticking. This unfortunate and
grotesque malady attacked the fgther
first about ten years ago, and since then
all the other members of the family have
successfully seen the joke and began to
laugh. These spells occur twice day.
and leave the family little exhausted.
possibly, but in no other respect the
worse for wear. The neighbors have
become accustomed TO the thing. and
think nothing of seeing their old friends
going about their daily avocations in q
roar of laughter. Charles, the eldest
son, who had held out agaist the infec-
ton for years, and entertained reasona-
bic hopes that he alone should escape.
had the modification TO undergo his first
attack while he was in the very act of
proposing for the hand of Harrisburg
girl. He had succeeded in conveying to
the young lady an idea of the state of
his heart, but had not arrived at that
point where even smiles were in order.
when he burst into immoderate laugh
ing, which so frightened the object of
his devotion that she fled from the room.
She subsequently listened to an explana-
ton, however, and is now a member of
the family circle. Several grandchildren
are now in existence, all of whom, with
a single exception, inherit the malady.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1881-04-15
Manitoba.

The Manitoba lake, which has given
name to the province formed out OF the
Red river region, is called after n small
island whence, in the stiffness of the
night, Issue strangely sweet mysterious
sounds. The Oiibway Indians who dwell
in that neighborhood believe the island
to be the home of Manitoba, the speaking
god, and will not land on approach it for
any consideration, thinking they would
desecrate or profane it, and they would
meet with some terrible fate for their
impiety. The sound is caused, it hes
been ascertained, by the beating of the
waves on the large pebbles along shore.
These, with fragments OF tine-grained,
compact limestone from the cliffs above,
are rubbed together by the action of
the water, and give out n tone like that
OF distant church bells. This natural
music is heard when the wind blows
from the north, and, as it subsidies. low
plaintive notes, resembling the voices IF
an invisible choir. are heard. 1t has
been compared to the chant of the nuns
at Trinita de Mont in Rome, with which
all travellers are familiar. The effect is
impressive. Tourists have been awak-
ened at night in the vicinity under the
impression that chimes of bells were
ringing afar off, and that their tones
were ripping over the lake. The mys-
tic bells of Manitoba have acquired such
a reputation that travellers are not salts
fled until they are heard. and often spend
days there waiting for the blowing of the
north wind. The Ojibways have a num-
Der of poetic legends about their speak
ing god, whom they profoundly revere.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1881-04-15
A Ride on q Wild Bull.

A year or SO since there was "rodeo"
out on Lost river, in Lake county, Col.
Ranchmen had gathered for circuit of
seventy-five miles to claim and brand
their young cattle, and when a Gordon of
men had surrounded a large band,
among which was Spanish bull. dis
pute arose about "mallet head" or
calf, that had escaped the spring brand
ing. The discussion grew warm, none
of the stock owners being able to set up
a valid claim or establish all undoubtad
title. At last, III spirit of bravado, n
rancher proposed that whoever would
ride the bull without saddle or halter
should be declared owner of the calf.
There was yell of approval, but not a
general stampede OF volunteers, for
taurus was in ill-humor, and his foaming
mouth and bloodshot eyes gave token
that whoever rode him would have q
ride as wild as Mazeppa's, and one that
might not end so web. At last q eva
quero" named Prick accepted the chal-
lenge, and the wild bull was immediate
ly lassoed and held by lariat round
horn and foot. Dismounting from his
horse, the vaquero fastened his long
roweled spurs securely, tied handker-
chief round his head, approached the in
furiated animal, and, grasIing the tail
IN his hands, sprang lightly on it, set
ting the spurs deeply in its tanks as he
settled securely in his seat. The lariats
were slackened. The bull gave roar of
rage and terror, ana flung his head to
the ground but the rider had his back
to the horns and firm grip on the tail,
and kept his seat. Another roar that
shook the ground, wild plunge, and
the now-maddened bull shot out across
the sage plain with lightning speed, his
plucky rider twisting the tail that was to
him a shoet-anchor until the bellowings
were lost In the distance. For over n
mile and a half the race continued, amid
the excited cheers of the vaquero's
comrades. Occasionally the bull gave a
desperate plunge through the heavy
clump of sage, in the vain attempt toriG
himself of his tormentor; but the long
rowels only chung more firmly to his
TANKS. Sometimes the animal and rider
were hidden by undulations in the
ground, and bets were even made that
Frick would be thrown and gored and
at last the bull, exhausted from sheer
fright, fell. and the plucky vaquero,
stepping lightly of, returned to claim
his prize, which was unanimously
awarded. This occurrence is related by
a prominent cattle man in Lake county,
who ventures the opinion that no scene
in Spanish "bull ring" was ever half
SO wild or exciting.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1881-04-15

For many centuries past there has
been q gradual decline in the value OF
silver rs compared with gold down to
1875, when nm unexampled depression
began. reaching the lowest point during
the following year. Since then its value
has hnctuated, SO that the metal con
tanned in a silver dollar has been worth
in gold only from 50 to 90 cents. 1t is
now worth about 81 cents. The follow
ing shows the relative value of gold and
silver Mt different periods, beginning in
the fifteenth century and coming down
to- the present year.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1881-04-15
USEFUL HINTS.

CoMBE says, In preserving beef, the
r1Ds Will keep longest-fve or six days
IN SUMMERTIME middle of the loin next,
the rump next, the round next, and. the
shortest of all, the brisket, which will
not keep more than three days in hot
weather.
To FIX pencil marks SO they will not
rub out, take well-skimmed milk and
dilute with an equal bulk of water.
Wash the pencil marks whether writing
or drawing) with this liquid, using soft
fiat camel-hair brush, and avoiding all
rubbing. Place upon fiat board to
dry.
HANGING MEAr-Meat should be
hung long enough to grow tender; if too
long 1t becomes dry, loses its juices and
weight, and if not hung long enough it
Is tough and hard. 1t should also be
hung where the air is clear and cool.
but not In strong current as then it
will dry out its juices. It is said that
II you steam tough piece of meat fox
half an hour, then roast it in the ordi-
nary manner, it will be tender.
Whitewash rubs off the
walls upon the hands and clothine cal
Gimme does not. Calcimine-prepared
kaolin--can be obtained Mt almost any
drug store at trifing cost. To prepare
1t for use place it in vessel of suitable
size, then scald it with sufficient water
to make it the consistency of hot mush
let it partially cool; then thin down with
skinned milk to the proper consistency
for use. SKINNED milk is best, as the
fatty or butter part of new milk would
spoil the mixture. Observe these direc-
tons and the material will be ready for
use. Apply with a whitewash brush.
This mixture will work smoothly and
not drag under the brush as most other
mixtures for whitewash. 1t can be
colored TO suit the taste of those
using it.
For THE HANDS.-In order to pre-
serve the hands soft and white they
should always be washed in warm water
with fine soap, and carefully drie d with
moderately coarse towel, being we'll
rubbed every time to insure brisk cir
culation, than which nothing can be
more efectual in promoting transpar-
ent ard soft surface. If engaged in any
accidental pursuit which may hurt the
color of the hands, or if they have been
exposed TO the sun, little lemon Juice
will restore their whiteness for the time
and lemon soap is proper to wash them
with. Almond paste is of essential serv-
ice in preserving the delicacy of the
hands. The following Is a serviceable
pomade for rubbing the hands on retir-
ing to rest: Take two ounces of sweet
almonds; beat with three drachms of
white wax and three drachms of sper-
maceti put up carefully in rose water.
Gloves should always be worn on expo
sure to the atmosphere.