The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1881-02-18
HERE AND THERE

1t is estimated that nineteen -twentieths
of the spring tramps will be bankrupt
cabinet makers.
The Democratic party will adorn the
shelf with uncommonly fine effect for
the next four years.
The Boston Post has discovered
man who has no inherent relish for
dog fight, but always runs TO one for
fear he may be considered disagreeably
eccentric.
At recent ministerial conference in
New York, Cleopatra's Needle was
placed upon the stand to prove the au-
thenticity of the Bible and confirm the
mistakes of Bob Ingersoll.
Since the restoration of John Kelly
to Democratic favor, several insurance
agents have called upon Mr.. Tilden and
submitted tempting propositions for
writing heavy policies upon his life
A considerable portion of the state of
California Is at present under water. 1t
would he very gratifying TO the public
to learn that the part on which Dennis
Kearney is located, is submerged to the
depth of six or eight feet.
In Georgia, a spark from a cigarette
flew into a mans haIr and beard, ignit-
ing the dye, aud now his bald head and
smooth face stand forth as awfnl and
solemn warnings against the fearful vic
es of tobacco and nitrate of silver.
1t is asserted that the Indiana legisla-
ture will provide Tor the establishment
of a state fish commission. The Democ-
racy recognize in this a political scheme
to perpetuate Republican rule in the
Hoosier state by the propagation of
brain food.
II seems that the human physique is
not always an accurate index of the
aIimcntary capabilities of the pos
SCISSOR The aitenuated Mile. Bern
| hardt complains bitterly of American
walters because they do not bring her
enough bread.
John 3. Cough, it is said, has worn
out his throat talking temperance at
$500 per night. But even this is bet
ter scheme, both from financial and
ethical standpoint, than to have burnt
it out by pursuing the fiery potations of
his earlier manhood.
The auditor of Kansas has reported TO
the lower branch of the legislature that
the state is indebted TO the newspapers
nf the commonwealth $4,000 Tor print
| ing the constitutional amendment. II
thus seems that highly benehcent meas
ure is incidental as well as direct in its
salutary effects.
Senator Hackney, of Cowley, has put
in his oar in favor of female suffrage.
The ladies of the commonwealth, who
have already voted Mr.. MilliRgton, of
| Crawford, the sweetest man" in the
lower branch of the legislature, should
lose no time in crowning Mr.. Hackney
the Incompatible ''masher" of the senate
1t never rains but it pours. AS if the
ice crop of the present winter were moi
sufficiently ample to hedge against a
famine of that commodity for the nexi
ten years, it is announced that Charles
Francis Adams is going to the Arkansas
hot springs to take treatment for rheu
matism, and demonstrate TO the world
his ability to CONCEAL the steaming baths
Of that locality.
Prentis, of the Champion, in highly
entertaining lecture, delivered at Atchi
son. Wednesday week, on American
Humorists," made the melancholy con
fession that humor is evanescent, and
that the brightest wits are soon forgotten
If this should reach the ears of Sun
set Cox, it viii have tendency to de.
press hiR to sush a degree that The