Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1881-07-07
g Mark Twain /. ON the Art Of War.

At the recent banquet given to the
Society of the Army of the Potomac at
Hartford, Conn.,, Mr.. Samuel L. Glenn
ems Mark Twain) responded as follows
to the regular toast-ssThe benefit of
judicious training: .
"Let but the thoughtful civilian instruct the
soldier in his duties and the victory is sure."-
Martin Farquhsr Upper on the Art crWar.
/ Mr.. CHAIRsdAN: gladly join with
my fellow-townsmen in extending a
hearty welcome to these illustrious Cen
erals and these war-scarred soldiers Of
the Republic. This is proud day for US,
and, Il the sincere desire of our hearts
has been fulfilled, it has not been an
unpleasant day for them. I am in full
accord, sir, with the sentiment of the
toast, for Ihave always maintained with
| enthusiasm that the only wise and tr1e
way is for the soldier to fight the battle
and the unprecedented civilian to tell him
how to do it. Yet when I was invited
to respond to this toast, and furnish this
advice and instruction, / was almost as
much embarrassed as I was gratified,
for l could bring this great service but
the one virtue of absence of prejudice
| and set opinion. Still, but one other
| qualification was needed, and that was
of only minor importance. mean
knowledge of the subject. Therefore
was not disheartened, for I could acquire
that, there being two weeks to spare.
A General of high rank in this Army of
the Potomac said two weeks was really
more than would need for the purpose.
He had known people of my style who
had learned enough in forty-eight hours
to enable them to advise an army.
Aside from the compliment, this was
gratifying, because it confirmed an inn
preston 1 had had before. He told me
to 60 to the United States Military Acad-
| envy at West Point, and said, in his
tiowery, professional way, that the ca
diets would "load me up" Invent there
and staid two days, and his prediction
proved correct. l make no boast on my
own account-none. All know about
military matters / got from the gentle
men at West Point, and to them belongs
the credit. They treated me with cour-
tesy from the first, but when my mission
was revealed this courtesy blossomed
into warmest zeal. Everybody, officers
and all, put down their work, and
turned their whole attention to giving
me military information. Every ques-
ton asked was promptly and exhaust
lively answered; therefore, feel proud
to state that in the advice which am
about to give you as soldiers, I am
backed up by the highest military au-
thority in the land-yes, in the world, if
an American does say it-West Point.
To begin, gentlemen, when an en-
gagement is meditated, it is best to feel
the enemy first, that is, if it is night, for
as one of the cadets explained to me,
you do not need to feel him in the day
time, because you can see him then. l
never should have thought of that, but
it is unexpectedly true. In the day
time the methods of procedure are vari-
Gus, but the best, it seems to me, is one
which was introduced by Gen. Grant. He
always sent an active young man re-
doubt to reconnoiter and get the enc
my's bearings. I got this from high
officer at the Point, who told me he used
to be a redoubt on General Grants
staff, and had done it often. When the
hour for the battle is come, move to the
field with celerity-fool away no times
Under this head / was told of favorite
maxim of General Sheridan. General
Sheridan always said, eff the siege
train isn't ready, don't wait-go by any
trains that are handy; to get there is the
main thing" Now, that is the correct
idea. AS you approach the field it is
better to get cut and walk. This gives
you a better chance to dispose of your
forces for the assault. Get your artil-
lery in position, aud throw out stray
glers to the right and left to hold your
lines of communication against surprise.
See that every hod-carrier connected
with a mortar battery is at his post.
They told me at the Point that Napoleon
despised mortar batteries. and never
would use them. He said that for real
efficiency he wouldn't give hatful of
brickbats for a ton of mortar. How
ever, that is all he knew about it. Eve
rything being ready for the assault, you
want to enter the field with your bag
gage to the front. This idea was in
vented by our renowned guest, General
Sherman. They told me that General
Sherman said that the trunks and bag
gage make good protection for the
soldiers, but that chiefly they attract the
attention and rivet the interest of the
enemy, and this gives you an opportu-
nifty to whirl the other end of the col
umn around and attack him in the rear
I have given good deal of study to this
tactic since [ learned about it, and it
appears W lIlt III Is ID IdGLliHg lOcd.
Never fetch on your reserves at the start.
This was Napoleon's first mistake at
Waterloo. Next, he assaulted with his
bomb proofs, and ambulances, and en-
brasures, when he ought to have used a
heavier artillery. Thirdly, he retired
his right by ricochet- which uncovered
his pickets -when his only possibility of
success lay in doubling up his center,
flank by flank, and throwing
up his cheuaur de frise by
the left .oblique to relieve the
skirmish line and confuse the enemy
if such a maneuver would confuse him,
and at West Point they said it would.
1t was about this time that the Emperor
had two horses shot under him. How
often you see the remark that General
So-and-So atsuch battle had two or
three horses shot under him. General
Burnside and many great European
military men, as was informed by
high artillery officer at West Point, have
justly characterized this as wanton
waste of projectiles, and he impressed
,1pon mo a conversation in the tent of