Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1881-11-05
A DAUGHTER COMES INTO THE
SPOoPENDYKE FAMILY.

w CIi, NCllS hClis olIh AA
Spoopeudykp, with a grin, that in
volyed the whole head, and an effort
at the tip-toe tread that shook the
whole house. land so it's "a girl,
my dear 2"
Mrs Spoopendyke smiled family
and Mr.. Spoopendyke picked up his
heiress.
Its the image Of YOU" she said,
regarding with some trepidation Mr.
Spoopendyke's method Of handling
the infant.
81 don't see how you make that
out, said Mr.. Spoopendyke, grayely.
Il don't know when my nose locke
like the thumb part of a boiled lob
ster claw. Do / understand you that
my eyes bear any resemblance to the
head of Il screw 20
81 mean the general features"
murmured Mrs. Spoopendyke.
1.-THE general features seem to be
all mouth" retorted Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke, examining his acquisition. "If
our general features are at all alike,
my yiSage must remind you of an
earthquake. Hi kitchee ! kitchee
What makes her fold up her legs like
that 20
"She can't help it, responded Mrs.
Spoopendyke. They'll straighten
out in time"
mo time like the present" quoted
Mr.. Spoopendyke, and he took his
daughters feet and commenced pull
ing her limbs. 81 don't want any
bandy-legged first in this family
while | am at the head of it."
Naturally the ba1y began to cry,
and Mr.. Spoopendyke essayed to
soothe it.
"Hi! kitchee. kitch-e-el" he
chirruped. You'll have to get that
mouth rooted in before cold weather.
What's the matter with her, any
way ?"
'Perhaps you hurt her. Let me
take her, please" pleaded helpless
Mrs. Spoopendyke.
'She's doing well enough. Hi
TOpsy, Genevieve, Cleopatra, dry up
I'm going to have trouble breaking
this young ones temper, | can see
that. Here bend the other way
once" and Mr.. Spoopendyke tried
to straighten up his offspring with
out avail.
LET her come TO me, do, please
moaned Mrs. Spoopendyke, and Mr..
Spoopendyke was forced to hand her
over.
Jewell, that's quite baby" said
he, nursing his knee and eying the
infant. "What're those bumps over
the eye for What preponderance
of intelligence do they represent 7"
you mustn't talk So" remon-
strated Mrs. Spoopendyke. "She's
the handsomest baby you ever saw"
"Well, she's got to stop biting her
nails before she goes any further
with this procession. Here, take
your hands out of your mouth, can't
you? Why don'tyo put her hands
down 20
"Why, all babies do that" ex-
planned Mrs. Spoopendyke. "You
cannot help that"
I'm going to try" said Mr..
Spoopendyke, land | don't want to
be interfered with in bringing the
child up. Here, you, Maud S., Bone
setter, put your hands in your pock-
cts. Don't let me see any more nail
chewing; or you and I'll get mixed
up in an argument. She gets that
from your family Mrs Spoopendyke."
SAY, dear, don't you want to 60
and order SEINE things ?" asked Mrs.
SpoOpendyke.
"No," rejoined her husband, 81
want to see this youngster. where
its chin? Do babies always have
their upper jaw set right on their
shoulders ? Kitchee kitchee Her
scalp comes clear to the bridge of
her nose. | don't believe she's quite
right. Where's her forehead Great
Moses J Her head is all on the back
part ? Say, that baby's got to be
pressed. That's no shape"
Get away y, exclaimed Mrs.
Spoopendyke, Indignantly. "She'sa
perfect angel. There's nothing in
the world the matter with her."
"Of course you know" growled
Mr.. Spoopendyke. "You don't want
anything more than fog-horn and
mis-spent appropriation to be an or
phan asylum. If | had your faith
and the collie I'd make a living as a
foundling's home She'll be old
enough to spank in a week, won't
she ?"
mo she won't !" said Mrs. Spoop-
endyke. ''She'll never be old enough
for that"
"I'll bet she WILL" grunted Mr..
Spoopendyke. "If she isn't she'll
get it before she natures up to that
period. That's all. Let me take
her. Here, let's have her."
But Mrs. Spoopendyke fatty re-
fused.
Keep your dod gasted baby,