davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1881-04-06

A scientific journal explains in q
long article "How thunder-stOrms
come up" We haven read the ar
ticle, but we know how they come
up. They wait until the Sunday
school picnic reaches the grove and
gets fairly to business at atcopenhagen,
swinging, Irritation, croquet and 9th
er innocent games, and then they
come up like thunder and lightning.
1t takes the average thunderstorm
not more than ten minutes to come
up in the neighborhood ola picnic
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1881-04-06
THE BANK OF ENGLAND.
How the Great Machine is Moved.

AT banquet given by the Lord
Mayor of London to the Directors oi
the Bank of England on the even
ing of February %, Mr.. Birch, the
Governor of the Bank, made some
interesting remarks on the manage
ment Of that great machine of ex-
change. The business transacted by
the Bank Of England had no paral-
lei with that Of any other establish
ment in the world, inasmuch as it
combined with an ordinary banking
business the management Of the ma
tional debt and the issue and pay
ment Of the greater portion Of the
note circulation Of the country
Some idea Of the magnitude Of that
work might be found when he told
them that there were no less than
23G,50 accounts open in the public
funds; that the number of bank
notes issued during the last year
was above 15,250,0OO, representing
a sum Of E338, 100000, and a similar
amount cancelled, an accurate regis
ter Of each operation being kept, so
that any note paid into the bank
during the last five years could be
produced within a minute or two.
with information as to the channel
through which it had found its way
back to the bank, although the reg
lister represented 77,000,000 notes.
slowed away in 14,5OO boxes. If
stitched end to end these notes
would extend to 12,500 miles. 1t
was generally thought that the bank
was eXtravagant in canceling the
notes which come in, but the matter
had been we'll considered, and it was
calculated that if they were to keep
a register Of the notes in the way it
was the custom of the bank to do.
the system they followed was the
cheapest. The last four years had
not been without moments Of anx-
iety to the banking world, and the
autumn of 1873 must be fresh in the
memory of most Of them The |
Bank Of England was in a very sat
isfactory position at the time, and
the Knowledge that they could lend !
a hand to outraged credit in case Of |
need might not have been without |
its influence. From the position he |
had occupied he naturally watched |
with anxiety the crisis produced by |
the failure Of the City of Glasgow |
Bank, and he could but congratu-
late the banking community in gen
eral upon the admirable manner in
which they had weathered the storm.
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1881-04-06
Artificial Eyes Inserted which
Move and Appear as the
Natural Eye Without Pain.

Read what one of the most reliable
citizens of Knoxville says:
"Many years ago l lost one of my
eyes, which has always been sore by
the lids lying together and also disfgnr-
ed me very much. / consulted DIR.
Jones, who told me he could insert an
eye without operation or pain to move
and appear natural and cure the sore
ness all of which he has done. The
eye moves, gives no pain, and the old
soreness is gone, and but few OF my
friends can tell the artificial from the
natural eye. JOHN q. FOX,
Engineer at the Custom uouse. ="
Knoxville, Tenn, Feb 25, 1884,
The great cures and skilful surgical
operations accomplished by DR.. Jones
has induced the people to urge him to
stay at the Hattie House, Knoxville,
until April first, that all may come and
get cured.
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1881-04-06

A man gives $500 to a charity
and then kicks himself for week,
because he didn't give 80 cents and
save the other $3.50 for cigars and
beer. a woman sets her own house
i'm order and then goes out and hunts
up people 90 be good to- witness the
ladies Christian association.
"Tm afraid the bed Is not long
enough for you" said the landlord
90 a seven foot guest Never mine"
he replied, I'D add two more feet
TO it when I get in"
"Joe, my dear said fond wife
10 her husband, who followed the
piscatorv profession, do brighten
up a little You look so slovenly I
Oh, what an awful recollection II
would be for me IL YOU should get
drowned looking sol'
An old lady who had been read.
ing the health officers weekly re.
ports thought "Total" must be an
awfully malignant disease, since as
many died Of il as al the rest put
together.
1t is said that love conquors an
things but a jumping toothacho,
that knows its business, and strictly
attends to it, can, for the time being.
make a man forget that he ever
loved at all.
The following recipe for eloquonco
is given by n Down East orator
"Get yourself chock full Of the sub
ject, knock out the bung, and let
nature eaper."
"Mrs. Brown, do wish you would
try TO bring David out a little. He's
so bashful that ! really think II he
caught the measles they wouldnt
] come out"
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1881-04-06
One of fKnOxville's Young Ladies
Cured of OzOena.
KNOXVILLE, Tenn, Feb

KNOXVILLE, TENN, Feb. 26.
For many years I have been suffering
with OzoENA, an offensive disease IN
the nose Having in that time tried a
great many remedies, and grew worse
all the time, and in this condition /
placed myself under the treatment of
DR.. Jones, and have been rapidly i'm
proving ever since, and now in month
l find l am entirely cured. am under
a thousand obligations TO DR.. Jones.
LIZZIE NUKIRCHNER.
Dr. Jones has extended his stay at
the Hattie House, Knoxville, until the
first of April.
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1881-04-06

John McGovern and VIM. Bentley
had a serious cutting affray at Nan
ME Green's bagniO, in Nashville,
Sunday, goth. Bentley received
an ugly wound in the arm, after
which he cut McGovern clear across
the pit of the stomach, making a
wound that will probably prove
fatal.
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1881-04-06

Pat, who was very stubborn and
persistent man, and who by some ac-
cident swallowed a piece of sponge,
was given an emetic, which did not
work. "Arrah, doctor = said a COM
panion, it won't work, sure for
Pat is too stubborn to ever throw up
the sponge"
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1881-04-06

During the war William H. Augur,
Union soldier, helped three sisters
who were in great distress at their
despoiled home in Virginia. At the
death of the last of them, some years
ago, it was provided that the estate
should be kept in trust for certain
missing heirs until 1881, and then,
if they were not found, be given to
Augur, who had returned to his
family at Meriden, Conn. The time
has now expired, the heirs have
not appeared, and Augur is to re-
ceive 100000.
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1881-04-06

"A bird in the hand is worth
tive" dollars and a half, if it hap
pens to be a canary.
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1881-04-06
A Tale of Struggling Young Poets

Mark Twain contributed the fol-
lowing amusing sketch to a publ
cation in Buffalo, printed in the in
terest of the Homeopathic Fair
Well, sir, once there was a young
fellow who believed he was a poet !;
but the main difficulty with him
was to get anybody else to believe
it. Many and many a poet has split
on that rock-if it is a rock. Many
and many a poet will split on it yet,
thank God The young fellow l
speak Of used all the customary de
vices-and with the customary re-
suIts-to-wit: He competed for
prizes and didn't take any he sent
specimens of poetry to famous people
and asked for q "candid opinion
meaning a puff, and didn't get it;
he took advantage of dead persons
and Obituaried them in Ostensible
poetry, but it made him no friends
certainly none among the dead.
But at last he heard Of another
chance there was going to be a
homeopathic ldlE III DulIdLO, dCCOlu-
panied by the usual inottensive
paper offered prize of - for the
best original poem onthe usualtopic
Of Spring no poem to be cOnsid-
cred unless it should possess posi-
tive value.
Well, sir, he shook up his muse,
he intOrduced into her a roGsing
charge Of inspiration from his jug,
and then sat down and dashed off
the following madrigal just as easy
as lying
HAIL BEAUTEoUS, BOUNTEOUs, GLAD
SOME SPRING.
A PoEM BY S. L. CLEMENS.
-....-.-.-..
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1881-04-06

Did he take the prize? Yes, he
took the prize. The poem and its
title didn't seem to 90 together very
well; but no matter, that sort OF
thing has happened before it didn't
rhyme, neither was it blank verse,
for the blanks were all filled-yet it
took the prize for this reason: no
other poem offered was really worth
more than about $3.50, whereas
there was no getting around the
petrifed fact that this one was worth
$40. In truth, there was not a
banker in the whole town who was
willing to invest a cent in those
other poems, but every one Of them
said this one was good, sound sea-
worthy poetry, and worth its face.
Such is the way in which that
struggling young poet achieved
recognition at last and got 4 start
along the road that leads to lyric
whatever thatmay mean.
Therefore, let other struggling
young poets be encouraged by this
to 90 on striving. MARK TWAIN
Hartford, Conn, Nov. II, 1880.
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1881-04-06

RAGS WANTED cents pound
paid in cash
RAYL Sc MORROW,
mars-it Knoxville, Tenn.
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1881-04-06

Why is a bootblack like a certain
kind fish ? Because he's ashiner.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1881-05-13
Labor Troubles.

l05 Switchmen of the Chicago, Mil
warkee and st. Paul and Chicago and
Northwestern railroads struck mt Mil
wauEee for - Il day instead of $50.
Forty warehouScmen of the latter com
pany struck for = 80 instead of Il 20,
and their brakcmcn for $50 month,
instead of $40. Some of the men on
the latter road have since resumed
work ut slight advance. The other
road refuses to comp. OHhiSe.
Freight men on the Grand Trunk
line struck for SI.l5 per day, and the
company have acceded to their de
mandS.
A strike occurred among the printers
on the Detroit (Mich.) Post and Tri-
bunc, on Friday last. The proprictors
It once proclaimed the office non-union
and hired men to fill vacancies.
Boston street railroad hostlcrs are on
a strike.
The puddlcrs of the steel mill ut the
Reading iron works in Reading, Pa,
after being idle II month through a
strike for an advance i'll wages, have
resumed ut the old figures.
The briclllayers of Lowell, Mass, are
uneasy and have struck. Two con
tractors yielded to the demand, but
others are immovahle.
About four thousand bakers in New
York city struck Il few days ago.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1881-05-13

One of the buildings connected with
the Maplewood Hotel property had
been raised some 20 feet. for the pur-
pose of building the other story under
it. 1t was supported by blocking, and
n gang of men was employed in and
about the building, when the strong
wind caused it to fall, killing Morris
Cheney and Daniel Abbott of Bethle
hem, and severely injuring seven
others.
Ansel Briggs, the first governor of
Iowa under the state constitution, is
dead.
DIR. Talmagc has announced the close
of seven weeks revival services at the
Brooklyn Ia pernacle. The result has
been 500 conversions and 300 new
members of the church. of whom I5l
are heads of families.
The coroner's jury in the inquest
over the bodies of two of the victims
of the Elgin (IlI.) ferry disaster, find
the mayor and an alderman of the city
guilty of negligence.
There was lively time in the Penn
sylVania house of representatives on
Friday morning, when a petition was
presented asking for the impeachment
of Gov. Hoyt and Atty. Gen. Palmer
for action in reference to the Judiciary
of that county. The petition was
killed.
1t is reported ut Ottawa that the gov
ernor-g general will return to England
after his Manitoba trip, resigning his
position.
Smallpox is raging on the American
bark Henry Buck ut Victoria, b. c.,
from Hong Kong with $40 passengers.
They are quarantincd in the outer
harbor.
On FIR day night, 100 scamcn for the
L. s. Navy started under escort from
Boston for New York. They obtained
whisllcy, then became insulting and
abusive to the passengers on the Fall
River boat. In fight among them
selves several were cut with knives.
Fifty of them deserted on reaching
New York.
The New York musical festival,
which closed last Saturday night, was
both an artistic and lin"ncial success.
About $4,000 people attended the va
rious concerts, and the receipts were
between SS0.O00 and S90,0OO; the cX-
penses between S7O,OOO and SSO,0OO.
The probable wheat Yield of Ohio
this year will he II, 500 53 bushels, or
81 per cent. of last years fine crop.
The Stoncwall jackson monument
at New Orleans was unveiled Tuesday.
jeff Davis was enthusiastically chcercd.
The mayor of Cincinnati ordered the
saloons closed on Sunday, but the lSW
saloon keepers refused to comply, and
the shops were open as usual.
During the past week, 80 new cases
of smallpox and % new cases of typhus
were found in New York city. The
deaths from smallpox numbered II aud
from typhus 7.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1881-05-13

liable asset. but never till now has one
been forfeited for misconduct. That
fate, amounting really to a fine of any
where between S20.0O0 and Sl00.0O0.
has fallen on broker for the high
crime and misdemeaaor of cadging for
business in an undignitied manner,
like sailors boarding house runner,
Il quack doctor, or anything else oh
iectionable. by cutting his own rates.
or. in other words. allowing a percent
age of the commissions which he is
compelled to charge 10y the bylaws of
the Exchange to various outside jack
ais who would bring victims to his den.
He has been expelled, and, though Il
wealthy man, the actual loss in money
is no tritie, he is debarrcd from
ever making any more in the safe, easy
fashion he has been accustomed to in
gathering in loose ducatS. Moreover
though he has many friends who sym
pathize with him, or. ut all events, feel
sorry for him, he cannot hut feel that
he richly deserves his sentence. ANY
broker is smart enough to know when
he oversteps the rules, and this man
Sinncd with his eyes open. of course.
Others are tarrcd. il is said, with the
same brush, and if the ofienSe can he
brought home to them. will uudoubted-
ly have to submit to the same discipline.
But. perhaps. no more will he caught.
even if there are other guilty ones.
RADIX.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1881-05-13

hope that a solid or bold front will
drive off the president and the officers
of justice. There are rumors that Il
huge bucket of dirty water is preparing
to be emptied on the presidents head
in the hope that this will make him run
off in a panic. But the jobbers deceive
themselves. There is the best authori-
~ for saying that the President, Post
master-general james and Attorney
general MaeNeagh are determined tn
go tn the bottom of the star route job
berries, no matter who is hurt, and there
is also good authority for the statement
that while the jObbers pretend To each
other to he standing together, over
lures have already come from some of
them to confess, and 10y their revela-
tions place the government in posses
sion of important and decisive evidence
against others on condition of their own
security Special to n. Y. Herald.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1881-05-13
The Dartmouth Matter.

In regard to the unpleasantncss at
Dartmouth College, there is nothing
especially new, save that the Juniors
have written a long letter in defense of
President Bartlett, in which they say
among other things, that the opposition
among the students is due to personal
aims OF personal cnmity; that under
,hc present administration, drunken
ness has been practically rooted out of
The institution; that the behavior in
chapel has vastly improved; and that
Dr. Bartlett is supported by large
majority of the Junior class, who find
him courteous gentleman. The New
York alumni have appointed Richard
b. Kimhall, United States District At
toIncy A. w. Tcnncy, Sanford H..
Steele and Charles X. Miller to act III
their behalf at the approaching investi-
CATION by the trustees, which will not
take place, probably, for a couple of
weeks.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1881-05-13
4 Sensible Enactment.

Owing to the large number of deaths
which occur while coupling freight cars
ON railroads, the Massachusetts state
senate has passed a bill to compel the
roads in that state to provide aUtomat-
ic couplings to the freight cars, in the
following terms All freight or mer-
cars hereafter built, or caused
to he built, by any railroad company.
on which cars are used. or intended to
he used. for the transportation of freight
or merchandise. including those cars
built in renewal of existing ears, or to
replace the same. shall he equipped
with an automatic draw-bar and coup
Ter, approved by the board of railroad
commissioners and draw-bars and
couplers replaced by reason of being
broken or destroyed, shall be of the
kind as above set forth. Any railroad
corporation violating the provisions of
this act shall, for each offence, pay Il
fine not exceeding 800.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1881-05-13

placed the President in a position
where he was compelled either to-
let Lord Roscoe have his way, or to as
sert his own right as President. He
very naturally chose the latter course,
and, after waiting some time for the
Senate to act. withdrew all the New
York nominations except Robcrtson's
thereby virtually saying to the Sen
ate BE kind enough to dispose of
Judge Robertson, and then we will
talk about the rest of the New York
Offices Several efforts have been
made 10y ..disinterestedn persons Ia eff
feet compromise, but the President
remains firm. He desires, he says,
only fair treatment at the hands of
the Senate, and is ready to deal fairly
with them. He has given them to I'M
derstand that he is not To be tritied with,
and intends To be President of the Uni
ted States Notwithstanding the exist
cncc of Conkling.
Coming right down to the point, the
mass of the people are with the Presi-
dent. simply because the contest is be
tween the President as representing
the people, and political ''boss" who
does not care to he disturbed i'll his
hold on the politics of the Empire
State. The country has had its fill of
political bosses and machine maneu-
vers. The "boss' system was severely
sat upon at the Chicago convention of
1850. and the spirit manifested there
| has not vet died out. The idea that
one man must he allowed to run Il
IA whole party is absurd it is not only
absurd, it is repulSive. The idea that
one Senator, no matter from what state,
can dictate the action of the President
and delay government business Is not
an idea to he cherished long III Il gov
eminent ''of the people. 10y the people
and for the people 1t is time "boss-
ISM was killed. 1t has received a
hard blow. but it dies hard. Thou
sands of voters will gladly attend the
suncral.
Seriously, the present contest at
Washington is important to the people
of the whole country. What the out
come will he we cannot say. We do
not see how the President can afford to
back down from the position he has
assumed. and submit to COnkling' 5
arrogance. There is not the least
prospect that he will do so, and the
next move must he on the part of the
Senate. The President, it is said,
feels confident of Robcrtson's coniirma-
ton while Conkling still kicks strong
Senate are laughing in their sleeves
while the contest RACES, and Will do
all they can to help widen the breach,
in the hope of making party capital
out of it, this they will not be able ia
do to any extent, however. We trust
that matters will he speedily adjusted,
and the dignity of the Administration
maintained. However, to the minds
of some. Garfield may have erred in
appointments, he must not yield his
prcrogatives; and even COnllling should
realize that the Administration has
rights which he is bound to respect
If this contest shall result in manning
the one man supremacy i'll party pol
tiles, it will have been worth the
while.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1881-05-13
Garfield ". COnkIin..

The action of President Garfield in
Withdrawing all the New York nom-
nations save that of Judge Robertson.
until some action was had upon the
latter, was a surprise To the Senate, and
and is the cause of much comment in
all parts of the country. The nature
of that comment of course varies ac-
cording to the light in which people
view this action; and in another col
umn we give extracts from various
journals which show how the matter is
received in different localities. While
considerable fault l. found 10y many
political in his move, ii great many
others independents. among press and
people-arc glad To see him assert and
maintain his presidential prerogatives
to the damage of what is called 1.-THE
courtesy of the Senate
We regret very much that the Presi-
dent found such move necessary that
any quarrel at all has been prccipitated
but if il was to come, il l. well enough
to have it over with. that the people
whose government this should be-may
know what to expect. Mr.. Garfield
did not seek a quarrel with Mr.. Conk
ling or any other Senator. The nomi-
nation of Judge Robertson for Collect
or of the port of New York was not
pleasing to Conkling and his friends.
Possibly there was no call for the re-
moval of Merritt; it is not necessary
to discuss that now. BY Robertson's
nomination Conkling felt himself af
fronted, and lost no time in kicking
against it. His action in the premises