The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1881-09-23
A Preacher Who Wouldn't.


haH an 0Ouf before the Iacluc express
left for the West yesterday morning q big
giant Of q chap, Juggling q satchel in one
hand and leading big dog with the other,
entered the depot, followed by q clean-faced,
tidy-looking man with a grab-bag and an
umbrella. Both reached the ticket Office at
the same time, and while the giant inquired
the price of a ticket to some point in Kansas
the other laid down the cash for trip to
Jackson.
THUNDER and blazes and Wildcats"
shouted the giant as he learned the price Of
. ticket" why, I hain't got no such
money!"
Cant help Irregular rate" said the
ticket seller.
"And extra for the dog?"
eyes"
am be hanged If pay til"
"Very WE'LL" and down went the window.
"Say, mister!" called the giant, as he
beckoned for the man ticketed for Jackson
"say, see here"
"What can do for you9' asked the
other, rs he came up.
"Say, I want to 60 10 Kansas"
Eyes"
"And I haven't got quite 'nuff money.
I'm bound to 60, Cur I've left home and sot
out, and must raise some more money.
Say, do you ever carry revolver?"
"Never."
"Well, You orter,' he said, Is he pulled
out an old navy and worked the cylinder
around. "Times IL mighty scrumpshus jist
now, and every man orter protect his life.
I'll give you this old barker for 81. I'll war
rant 1t to shoot blazes out Of boss thief
twenty-six rods away"
"My friend, am q minister of the gospel,
and never have use for such weapons"
preacher, Ell? Say, I'll knock off dol
lar on the price. Say six and take It,"
at would be useless to me-"
"Useless? Say, suppose you are going
home from prsyer-meeting and some rough
tackles you9 Click! click! biff! bang! and
where is your rough? You may get into =
dispute over at the church with one of the
deacons. He thinks lie has the dead-wood
on you as he peels his coat, but you keerless-
ly draw this out and wipe your nose on the
barrel, and whar's your deacon?
"Oh, but do not want 1t nj any price. /
should never sleep easy II it was in the
house even"
"Then take this ERE" said the man, rs he
drew out . buck-handled knife with blade
. foot long. "She don't burn auy powder
nor make any noise, but she's chuck-full OF
business"
any friend, preacher does not want such
weapons ~ that"
"They don't, eh7 S'posen you were over
to the hoss-race and crook smashed your
plug hat down your shoulders? S'posen
some Teller comes along and spits on yer
boots? Say, I'll part with this ERE home
defender for IS, though she cost me 'leveu
and never stabbed but one man with 'er."
al couldn't-couldn't think of 1t. As l
told You before, I am clergyman and have
no use for weapons
"Say, take the dogl A preacher can't be
throde over the bar for keeping dog, and II
you're looking fur suthn' about four times
as wicked rs q b'ar-trap here's the anamile.
Say" a.... -.-. ...
~ do not want dog"
"Dont? Great hooks! but do you let
tramps git outer your yard with two hull
legss Do you drive hogs outer your garden
with switchess Say, I'll part with old Ty-
phoon for SIS, and I'll swear on four Bibles
that I've been offered SIS more'n dozen
times"
"No-no. should not know what to
do with him. I hope you'll get to Kansas,
but"
am say SIS, though it's burnin' shame
aNo."
am say 80, II you'll agree to keep still
about It."
"No; that's my train and must be going.
hope"
"Say, I'll sell ye recipe to tame bar.
I've tried 1t, and II II don't tame him higher'n
kite In week I'll chaw sand"
"No-no; good day."
"Say, gimme ~ fur : recipe to pizen
wolves?n
"No.r
an Farm ye how TO pick poker hand for
dollar and half! Say
But the clergyman had passed the gate,
and after hungry look around him the
stranger gave the dog kick and grcwled
out:
"Git ready to carry this ere sachel, old
Teller, fur we're going - fur Is Chicago on
the dirt road. Hang these ere preachers
they reckon on making their muscle pull EN-
through"