Knoxville daily chronicle. [volume] (Knoxville, Tenn.) 1870-1882, 1881-03-11
- SpeFaninten' ". d de steam"
Boston COmmercial RuIIalin.

Steam, my dear" said Spicer as h
stood before tire steam heating apparatus
steam Is the magician Of modern time
and the slave of man. Now you see ths
little thiDgumbob up there is automatic
and the what>d ye~call it it is condensed
and forced out Of it."
Here the lucid lecturer stopped to ex
anime the drsf, and the ''automatic
thingumbob" gave warning hiss anC
then let fail drop Of boiling water about
the SIZE of musket> ball, which struck
inst Inside Spi ers shirt>colar and me,
andered joyfuIly down his spine.
"Ouch ab! OoCl Blast the derncd d
! thing!" hOwIed the unfortun ate, a3 he ex~
ecQted wild dance, aud distributed oaths
and various articles ofironmongery around
! the cellar, to the imminent danger of Mrs.
/ opicer, who, ON reserved Seat on the
( top of the cellar-steps. enjoy ed the enter
tainment with maddening smile.
Splcer looked at the Ak with a gloomy
idea OF smashing in the furnace>d0or, but
restraining himself dragged out pair of
steps with vengeful Cater. and climb
ing up, essayet to stop the siss ng valve.
Getting his head up over it out of range,
be gave 1t q savage turn,-the wrong way,
OF course. with an angry spit end sizze
water INTO Mr. Spicer's shirt bosom, and
that terrified individual, hastily jerking his
head up, brought it into violent contact
with big tin heating pipe with crash
like theatrical sheet-iron thunder; at the
same mo n ent his feet dissolved partner
ship with the steps, he clut he'd wildly ct
hot steam-plpe, let go with u howl, took
the step"iadder IN mad embrace, and
came car eTing down, bestriding that use
n lru no
cemented floor.
Are you hurt, DEAR" asked Mrs.
Spiccr sWeetly, as the dust and din If the
conflict settled down.
hurtm sand Spicer savasely; SO no; |
have only driven my basement into The
a1tie-,hat all. Id like to know what
that dashed darkey means By leaving the
blasted thing in this condition"
Here Mrs s, remarked that she SUP
posed that she was not expected to stay
and listen to such language as that; and
adding that, when MIR. SpIcer had finished
breaking he furniture and the command
ments, she should be glad to see him up
stairs, she sailed serenely away.
Splcer gathered himself together, and
concluded he would open the cold air box
little, and leave "Lhe derned thing for
the porter to fix" The cod~air box was
operated by cord, and let the air in from
brick shaft, which was about as big and
breezy as Rocky Mountain canon in mid
winter. Seth had just began to pull on the
co when he heard warning whistle
from Mrs. s. overhead jerking up and
hastily Delaying the cord, he hastened to
the be, from which issued the voice Of
Mrs, Spicer, saying:
Do you want to freeze US up here? The
cold air is coming up awfuliy through
the register, and has nearly blown one of
the children over"
Seth hurried back te the heater and let
go his line; but aias! The box had got
Jammed and would not close, he pulled it,
Stacked it, jerked it, and dashed it to no
plrpose, while Mrs. Spicer executed quite
q solo on the speaking tube. Finally he
essayed to crawl into the man>hcle to fix
Things, and was met by blast of air that
troz9 every particle of blood in the little
desert ohtop Of his head. He bumped his
shlns against one obstacle and barked his |
knuckles against another. backed out and |
yelled for caDde which was no so ner |
brought than 1t was blown out by the cold |
AIR. as were fifteen successive m atches with |
winch SpIcer attempted to light it, Finally |
he banged the iron door of the man>hole |
TO-, kicked 1t, brushed himself Off marched |
grlmly up stairs, and buried himself be-
hind a big cigar and newspaper Shortly |
after the colored porter arrived, and in
about live minutes put everything in
Jrder and had a deligh aful warmth per>
nestlng the house but he remarke to the
:, ok, as he went out:
:" l guess de ole man done been 'spermin-
en- wild de steam little tonight, amt he
Jane"