Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1881-12-18
PITH AND POINT.

"THE first lady in the land" is
"Mother."
AN unpaid note often rises up in judg-
| ment.
THE railroad fagman does o flourish
| ing business.
"IF blood will tell, mosquito should
be confessing nearly all the time.
GOLIATH was the first person who
wore a bang on his forehead.
The retired prize-fghter generally
| keeps bar, showing the survival of the
| fittest.
WHEN you say that a girls hair is
black as coal, it is just as we'll to specify
| that you do not mean q red-hot coal.
MANITOBA ought either to come into
the Union and shut the door behind
| her or stay out and keep her blizzards
to herself.
cir punish you," said mamma to
her little girl, "you don't suppose do
SO for my pleasure. do you?" "Then
whose pleasure is it for, dear mammal
"EUGEN1E, Eugene, will you still in
sist on wearing the hair of another wom-
an upon your head?" "Alphonso, Al
phonso, do you still insist upon wearing
the skin of another calf upon your feet?"
A MINDED youth got up
the following verse in Detroit Sunday
school:
Should all the banks of England break,
Should England's bank be smashed,
Bring in your checks to Zion's bank,
And you will get them cashed.
LORD HOLLAND told of man remark
able for absence of mind, who, dining
once at some sort of shabby repast, fam
| cied himself in his own house and began
to apologize for the wretchedness of the
| dinner.
A GALVESTON widow is about to marry
her fifth husband. Her pastor rebuked
| her for contemplating matrimony so
soon again. "Well, I just want you to
understand, if the Lord keeps on taking
them I will, too, was the spirited reply.
Charleston NeaOs.
The boast of a newspaper giving the
fullest account of a late revolving specta-
Gle reminds us of what campaign
speaker admitted of political opponent:
"He can dive deeper, stay under longer,
and come up nastier than any man ever
heard Of. "-Nea0 York Mail.
The Milwaukee San speaks of per-
son "who turned as pale as the ace Of
spades" We always supposed the ace
Of spades was red, and was hard to dis
tinguish from the jack of diamonds.
as we believe that card is called where
| the figure wears a crown.-NoryistoaU
Herald
"YoU did wrong to shoot that mans
dog. You might have pushed him off
with the butt of your gun," said the
Galveston Recorder to a man who was
charged with shooting neighbours dog.
"I would have done that" replied the
prisoner, eff the dog had come at me
tail first, but he came at me with his
biting end"
IT has become customary in Galveston
to refer all commercial troubles to the
Cotton Exchange. A few days ago a
prominent merchant slipped up on ba-
nana-peel with the usual results. He
sat up on the wet pavement, and, look
| ing at the slippery peel, said eff I
have him up before the Cotton Exchange
for impairing my standing on the
street. -Gdlveston NeaUs.
A GENIAL mistake New beauty (un-
versed as yet in the mysteries Of high
life) =" who's that wonderful old gen
tleman?" The Captain" Sir Digby de
Rigby, Hampshire Baronet, one of the
oldest in England; James the First's
creation, you know" New beauty (de-
termined to be surprised at nothing)-
"Indeed How well preserved he is I
shouldn't have thought him more than
| 70 or &c."
SIZE was big, buxom lass, and when
her small beau called one evening she
said: "Good evening, Lily" "I'm no
lily" he replied, surprised at the idea
"you're the lily; men are never lilies"
eyes. sometimes they are, and you es-
pecially are lily" elbows that ?"
"Lilliputian.' He then looked as if he
wished he were an elephant.
| "DoNT talk to me so?
| would have you to know
| The pleasures been mine all through life
| To be my own boss
But then you, of course,
Won't mention this fact to my wife,
| -Yonkers Statesman.
SUNDAY little girl came home from
church and failed to repeat the text to
her mother as customary. The good
mother cast her deep, expressive eyes
reproachfully to her regretful child.
elbow could I, mamma, remember such
a long text, when every lady in the con-
gregation had on bran new dress that
was too sweet for anything? Oh, NAM
ma, you'd ought to have been to
church p And all thoughts of the text
were forgotten as she described what she
saw to her loving mother.