The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1881-04-01

more and more discouraglngly to Daisy,
but still the little woman chung to me
with cheerful hope. She was never
afraid of my abilities, never impatient
with waiting, and her quiet, indomltable
trust renewed my courage, as often as /
found it wavering."
ga year soon slipped away and grew
more impatient, mora discouraged. /
fancied that was making little advance
ment, and was continually CALLED by the
thought that this lovely woman was
clinging to me, when, if she would let
me go, she might make for herself brill
liant career in society might arrange
her prospects for life SO much more
satisfactorily. Little stories began to
reach my ears, that she was amusing
herself with all sorts of fiirtations. said
to myself, that she was becoming tired
Of me, as I was of myself. [ began to
speak deprecatingly of an engagement
that promised so little happiness. Daisy,
ON her part, began to fancy that was
becoming tired Of her; that I was i'm
patient of the bonds with which I was
bound. A sort Of formality and coldness
egan to creep into olr correspondence.
A little iciness damped the affection
which had never before been marred by
an unkind thought or word Every let
ter now widened the breach.
"Another half-year passed and the
estrangement had become intolerable.
[ had heard several stories of incon-
stancy on her part. At last heard that
she was about to be married. Afterward
it seemed probable to me that these sto-
| MI Y,oirrl,4 houa haaT, 1forfa1 1uifh
particular design that I should hear
them but no such thought occurred to
me at that time.
l felt unwilling to let the matter go
further, and SO [ wrote Daisy, telling
her that it scarcely seemed possible that
our engagement would ever result in
anything satisfactory to either of US
that / did not believe, after all that had
taken place, that we could ever be happy
together, and requested her, if she
found it agreeable with her own feelings
and wishes. to release me.
"Ah, but you can have no idea of
what that brief letter cost me I loved
that woman with all the fire there was
in me. l still chung to the old love with
passionate longing, in spite of the es-
tranged feelings which had sprung up
between us. All night / walked the
floor of my room, ana again and again l
took up the note [ had written, with the
thought of destroying it. How could l
send it? How could I give up deliber-
ately all that made life or success dear
to me? It was terrible struggle, a
fight for self-mastery. AS daylight came
creeping through my window, I felt
more decided and, lest my determine
ton should finally give way, I put on
my hat, sealed and stamped the letter,
and walked around to the postotfice and
dropped it into the box. As retraced
my steps and felt the cool morning
breeze tanning my feverish face, it
seemed to me that my heart stood sti l 1
with awful loneliness. All the light and
| Joy OF life seemed to have vanished.
ga week was like an age to me before
| I,received brief note from Daisy, with
| just these words You are free. I send
you the ring which have SO long worn
for you. I have been foolish and incon-
slant, but never willfully deceived
| you. I have been so tortured with
| doubts and fears that [ have allowed
myself to give others, whom I ought to
have repealed, too much reason to hope
You have been so cold, and have spoken
SO discouragingly, that I have felt
self a hindrance to you, rather
than help. You placed an insurmount-
able barrier between us, and met my
love with such formality that it chilled
my heart But I shall not plead a
greater excuse. Forgive me if [ have
seemed inconstant. God knows nv
heart, and He knows that it has been
true and right Oh, darling darling
have loved you always, though my
heart has sometimes ached with such
bitter, lonely pain Good-by, and may
God bless and prospey y3gss
remember every word of that let
ter it has burned its way into my mem
DRY. l felt death-like pallor creeping
into my face, and knew it was with diff
Guilty that was able to breathe through
my clenched teeth. Again and again l
read the notifying to persuade my
self that it was as cold and formal as
my own. But saw the truth as I had
not known it before, and every word
brought stinging reproach. The bit
ter and estranged feeling, which had
been corroding my heart for months, all
left me, and shook with great, over
whelming grief. At one moment
would resolve to write and try and undo
what had been done; but pride ruled the
second thought. andI determined to abide
by the consequences. She had allowed
herself to give others too much reason to
hope;' l could not forget that, and again
said to myself, I'VE could never be
happy together If l had known then,
as l did afterward, how much was
loved; how much a poor, tired heart
was crying out in bitter anguish against
my unreasonable action and cruel words.
perhaps I should not have been bach,
elor to day.
" A half-year passed, and I was a full
tiedged lawyer. I had banished from
my thoughts as much as possible all
painful "reminiscences, and turned my
attention to the present and the future
But, with Ill my efforts to keep myself
from becoming disagreeably melancho-
ly, | felt that all the years to come
would be wanting in what makes life
fullest of Joy and fraught with manifest
deeds.
" l had settled down in thrifty place
and formed partnership with an attor-
ney some years my senior. I had been
in town only a few days and began to
look about me for client, when tele-
gram came. Daisy may not live till
morning. Comet! was what I read
was on the next train, and at midnight
was left alone with the dying woman.
could not live with. this wasting grief in
my heart darling, she whispered. l
had not the strength nor courage to wear
out this fever which fastened itself upon
me. L wanted to see you just this once
before saying good-by to all.
g It was too late that rained kisses
and tears upon her cold lips and cheeks.
and whispered, Forgive She only
smiled with a beautiful light in her
eyes, and pressed her cold lips to mine
IN last long good-by. 1 raised her
slightly from the pillow, as her friends
gathered around weeping, and then
laid her head gently back, for her beau
tiful spirit had left us.
" This is why 1 am sometimes sad.
Mrs. Steele" The "iolly fellow" as
Sbn had oellaJ hin, ~ kIo =