The Hickman courier. [volume] (Hickman, Ky.) 1859-current, 1881-05-20
HUMORs OF rur DAY.

DoEs a girl cudg;S4I. ner piaine
time she bangs ne hair!
'A-e one De ,.stje Cleveland girl always,
Il, "a l..ses oolAs s'scrap bags. ~ Cte0etdn1
'...5 AN ought to have said: HARDY,
- when he was tempted to bite the
Wnv ;s a fellow with q bad cold in the
W " "a l;ta :. NIAGARA Falls? Because he's
a catarrh-racked-
TEE New Orleans Picdytoae Calls s. oys, u,
4ers honest. s'because they are nov Illa'''e
yxe,,an. ~, ran. No: they are msdP hlyalve
1,s1s.s~sssa-.f tlae New
York Herald. Is known as Sir James
Gordon Bennett, the American noble
man.
THEY are laughing at n travelling Eng
hshman who complained, in SYRACUSE
II cahn't get me luggage, for lost me
brasses, you know"
"WHAr is love?" asks an exchange.
Love, my friend, is thinking that You
and the girl can be an eternal picnic to
each other.-[ Salem Sunbeam.
THE gilaffe has never been know to
utter a sound. In this respect 1t resem-
bles young lady in a street car when
gentleman gi7es up his seat to her.
The funny mans wife ought to wear
grinadine. - Fel0 York Mems. Then
the bankers wife ought to wear cash
mere, and the street. musicians organdle.
SUICIDE by starvation is so popular
now that a Philadelphia man is going to
try it He will hoard at New York
hotel and refuse to fee the walters. =
Brooklyn Argits-
STILL ahead-.he sphinx. Hard to
put down-carpds. A paper mill-a
quarrel between two editors. A spring
opening-the night latch. A fall open
ing-the coal hole.
THE Brooklyn Aldermen have voted TO
supply themselves with $50 badges.
This is good idea, for when people see
one of them coming they can know him
and run.-BoSton Post.
THERE are undoubtedly great many
things which are better than riches; but
riches are good enough for those of us
who feel humble and wish to leave some
thing for other people.
''MAJoR, see two cocktails carried TO
your room every morning, as If you had
some one to drink with" eyes, sir; one
cocktail makes me feel like another man;
and, of course, I'm bound to treat the
other man.
YOUNG LADY-"My dear Professor,
want to thank you for your lecture.
You made it all so plain that could un-
derstand every word Professor-"l am
truly glad you did understand it. L have
studied the subject for about thirteen
years, and am not clear that under
stand it yet.
A PoETEss moans: "My heart lay or
the threshing floor; / stifed every wal
as blow on blow descended from one who
held the fail" It was enough to Kill
herl But woman who is so careless as
to leave her heart lying on a barn floor
until it is pounded into jelly with q
fail doesn't deserve a particle of sym.
pathy. The thresher perhaps didn''
know it was ''only womans heart >
He may have mistaken it for a section oi
condemned bologna sausage, and we
therefore, ask for suspension of public
story is printed. .-N'OrriStoiO Herald
AT THE mechanical school: ''Now
John, did you ever see a saw?" Eyes
, did you ever see a saw?" Eyes, sir, I've
saw a saw" 'What saw was it yoJ
saw, John ?" cit was a see-saw, sir
"a sea-saucer? Why, John, what dC
YOU mean 2" 81 mean a see-saw, sir.
''And when did you see the sea ?" "Oh
sir, didn't see the sea; / saw the saw
sir. - "But if you only saw the saw hov
saw you the saucer?" "Why, sir,
never saw the saucer; see the saw, si
see ?" ''Well, my boy, if that's tn,
way you see saws, the less saws you se
the better. You may take your seat
| = Mem York Gr01)hie