The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1881-06-10
A FAMOUS ENCOUNTER.
O'Connell and Mrs. NIoriarty,

A FAMOUS ENCOUNTER.
OsConnen and HIrs. MOriarty.
Most persons have heard of the cele-
brated encounter of O'Connell with the
famous scold, Mrs. Moriarty, the
huckster of Dublin. There was at that
| time In Dublin certain woman, Biddy
Moriarty, who had a huckster stall on
one of the quays, nearly opposite the
-Four Courts. She was virago of the
first order, very able with her fists, and
still more formidable with her tongue.
From one end Of Dublin to the other she
was notorious for her power of abuse,
and even in the provinces Mrs. Mortar
tvs language had passed into currency.
1t was mooted once whether the young
Kerry barrister could encounter her, and
some Of the company in O'Connell's
presence) rather too freely ridiculed the
idea of his being able to meet this fam
Gus Madam Moriarty. O'Connel never
liked the idea of being put down, and
he protested his readiness to, encounter
her, and even backed himself for the
match. Bets were offered and taken-it
was decided that the matter should come
off at once.
The party adjourned to the huckster's
stall, and there was the owner herself,
experimenting the sale of her small
wares. A few lawyers and ragged idlers
were hanging round her stall, for Biddy
was :" character, and her way was one
of the sights of Dublin.
O'Connell commenced the attack:
I" What's the price of this walking
stick, Mrs. What's-your-name? ?"
Moriarty, sir, is my name, and
good one it is and what have you to say
agen it? And one and sixpence's the
price of the stick. Troth, it's chape as
dirt, so it is
Zone and sixpence for walking stick
-whew! Why, you are no better than
an impostor to ask il pence for what
cost you twopence.
"Twopence your grandmother, re-
piled Biddy edo you name to say it's
chatin' the people | am? Impostor, in
dade p'
cay, impostor, and it's that I call you
to your teeth" rejoined O'Connell.
"Come, cut your sticks, you cantan-
kerous iacknapes."
"Keep a civil tongue in your head,
you old diagonal" said O'Connell,
calmly.
"Stop your jaw, you pug-nosed
badger, or by this and that, " cried Mrs.
Moriarty, "Tll make you go quicker
nor you came. !"
"Don't be in passion, my old radius
anger will only wrinkle your beauty"
"By the hooky, if you say another
word of impudence, I'll tan your dirty
hide, you bastely common scrub and
sorry I'd be to soil my fists upon your
carcass"
" Whew boys, what a passion old
Biddy is in-I protest as am a gentle
man"
'Jmtleman Wisha, that bangs Ban
agller. Why, You potato-faced pippen
sneezer, where did Madagascar monkey
like you pick up enough of common
decency to hide your Kerry brogue?''
easy now-easy now" cried OCon-
nell, with imperturbable good humor,
"don't choke yourself with fine Ian
guage, you old whisky-drinking paral-
telegram. H.
G What's that you call me, you muir
derin' villain ?" roared Mrs. Moriarty,
stung to fury.
/" [ call you, answered O'Connell, "a
parallelogram and Dublin Judge and
jury will say that it's no libel to call you
So"
"Oh, tare-an-houns oh, holy Biddy
that an honest woman like me should
be called parybellygrum to her face
I'm none of yer parrybellygrums, you
rascally gallows- bird; you cowardly,
sneaking, plate-licking blaggard.
"Oh, not you, indeed + retorted
O'Connell "why, I suppose you'll deny
that you keep hypothenuse in your
house?'
cts a lie for you! I never had
such thing in my house, you swind-
ling thief. !"
4" Why, sure all the neighbors know
very well that you keep not only hy-
pothenuse, but that you have two diam
eters locked up in your garnet, and that
you go out to walk with them every Sun
day, you heartless old heptagon.
"Oh, hear that, ye saints in glory
Oh, there's bad language for fellow
that wants to pass for jintleman! May
the dickens fly away with you, you
micher from Munster, and make celery
sauce of your rotten limbs, you mealy-
mouthed-"
"Ah, you can't deny the charge, you
miserable submultiple of duplicate ra-
to-"
$50, rinse your mouth in the Liffey,
you nasty tickle-pitcher; after all the
hard words you speak, it ought to be
flthier, you dirty chicken of Belize
bub."
"Rinse your own mouth, you wicked
minded old polygon-to the deuce I
pitchyou you clustering intersection of
an Objectionable superfcies."
You saucy tinker's apprentice, if you
don't cease your jaw, I'll"
But here she gasped for breath. una
BILE TO hawk up any more words, for the
last volley of O'Connell had nearly
knocked the wind out of her.
While I've tongue I'll abuse you,
you most inimitable periphery. Look
at her, boys There she stands, per-
pendicular In petticoats There's con
tamination in her circumference, and
she trembles with guilt down to the ex-
tremities Of her corollaries. Alb you're
found out, you rectilineal antecedent
and equiangular old bag It's with you
the demon will fly away, you porter
swiping similitude of the dissection of
vortex.
Overwhelmed with this torrent of Ian
guage, Mrs. Moriarty was silenced.
Catching up saucepan, she was aiming
at O'Connell's head. when he very pru-
IDENTIFY made timely retreat.
You have won the wager, O'Connell;
here's your bet, said the gentleman
who proposed the wager
Joan Of Arc.
1t has been strongly doubted whether
Joan of Arc ever suffered the punish
ment that has made her amartyr, though