The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1881-04-15

duction Of the cost Of registering small
sums of money.
Minnesota appropriated $4,000 for
her three Normal schools. These schools
seem to be better thought of up there
than in Kansas.
Chicago Inter Ocean: A young man
in Wisconsin has married the divorced
wife of his grandfather. Now, what re-
lation is he TO himselfs
A profane contemporary observes that
the revised edition of the New Testament
will probably make Paul say to limo
thy: Take little water for thy stom-
ach's sake"
On the 22d, within twelve hours, Sat
urn will be in conjunction with the sun !;
and Jupiter will also be in conjunction
with the sun, and Jupiter and Saturn will
be in close conjunction.
The announcement that Kate CIaxton
played successful engagement at
Wichita last week, is the first intim alton
conveyed to the public that that town
has fire-proof opera house.
It seems that Carter Harrison, the
Democratic mayor of Chicago, is pretty
hard to beat when it comes 10 running a
political canvass, or reaching the purest
heights of inspired idiocy as public
orator.
The alleged belief of Professor Proc
tor in the early destruction of the plan
etary system, seems to be confirmed by
the stoical spirit manifested by HIM in
relation to his impending nuptials with
a ST. Joe widow.
Secretary Blaine is troubled with sore
eyes, but the most celebrated optician
at the national capital has assured him
that the mere sight of an Ohio man who
doesn't want an Office, will effect
speedy and radical cure
The Temple of Janus Will never be
closed as long as even the bristle of a
hog is left in the world, to perpetuate the
municipal amenities which have ragged,
time immemorial, between Kansas City
and Atchison, on the pork question.
The Democratic victories reported at
the recent municipal elections in Gin
cinnati and Columbus were doubtless
due to the fact that the Ohio men hold
ing positions in the departments at
Washington did not go home to vote.
1 A singular feature of the vote IN the
Massachusetts legislature, last week, re-
jecting Woman's Suffrage resolution,
was the fact that the yeas and nays-76
and 1872 respectively-exactiy equaled
the average of corresponding votes on
such measures for the past thirteen
years.
It has long been known that onions
were specific for excessive tenderness,
and now a medical journal has made the
discovery that garlic is an antidote for
hydrophobia. In these days of mad
dogs and amatory inspiration it would
be well to keep a supply of both on
hand.
The fact that New Zealand reports re-
duction of $4,000, 900 in the importation
of liquors during the past year, is very
gratifying evidence of the diffusive in
huences of the new temperance evangel,
according to Gov. st. John and Mrs.
Malloy.
Secretary Blaine has succeeded in
pretty thoroughly refuting the pork SIAN
der which threatened the currency of
American hogs in foreign markets, but
new disturbance of our diplomatic re-
lations with the old world is foreshadow-
ed in the announcement that Sunset Cox
has gone to Europe.
The devout citizen of Chicago is just
at present engaged in prayertul effort
to submit, with unquestioning faith, to
the inscrutable providence which spared
the city from destruction by means OF
Vennor's predicted flood and reserved ii
i, for the awful fate of two more years OF
Carter Harrison rule.
1t is reiterated by the public press that
) Ashmead Bartlett, the ambrosIal spouse
) of the Baroness Burdett Coutts, is threat
ened by an American lady with breach
5 of promise suit The name of the ag
e grieved female has not TRANSFERRED, but
4 there are we'll grounded suspicious thai
3 her cognomen is Cornelia Stewart.
!. From Illinois comes the story of 8
t lady who, TO all appearance, died and
s was buried, remaining in the ground
T four days, but who is now alive and get
j ting we'll. 1t is not much wonder thai
J, even as dead a man as Bill English
e threatens to kick the lid off his political
s coffin and take the war path again il
1884.
e The supreme court of Pennsylvani,
q recently decided case which had beer
4 pending five years, and involved only
!, S25. The costs were over 500, besides
= the fees of six energetic lawyers. Blu
o some people will fight, no matter what
/ the cost. It is rather credit to the lie
n gal profession that civil cases are now 81
o largely compromised.
a The Washington correspondent of th'
- Cincinnati Commercial feels authorized
e to say that the president does no
Is believe that the stars will halt in thei
courses or the planets tumble into tn
y sun if the political complexion of tn
o men who bang the Senate doors remains
( unchanged for few months" TIL
IL country is crowded with people VIII
u take the same view.
The Bernhardt says that during he
American trip she has probably game
in flesh. Rooms in American hotels ar
p too warm, she thinks. In the::South an
Il West she found that some hotel table
Is are very bad. But she adds, ''Ohl 20
TO Americans have big hearts," She find
u lack of broad, open cOuntenances an
81 engaging manners, such as European
have, and in their stead narrow, hatchety
D faces and forbidding exteriors. But q
10 for depth and warmth of heart in Anne
j. ica-ohI myl
- The grievous dispensation which ha
III resulted in the e-election of Carter Harr
g son to the mayoralty of Chicago. shout
ie not be without its salutary results to tn
&c denizens of that depraved metropolis.
Ut is only in line with the corrective pro
., licences which consumed with fire Ii
'n Cities of the Plain, rendered the palacs
rs of wicked Babylon the home of the stor
10 and bittern, and threatened NIneve
- with a fate which was only averted
ne the tardy repentance of its people. 1t
ey an awful thing to fall into the hands
ne aretribution which employs for is j
NC strument such an agency as Carter Ha
70 rison, but some distempers require h
NC roic treatment, and the result of the m
NC nicipal election in Chicago seems
on furnish q terrible case in point
Of The present Shah of Persia, it is sal
ed once painted picture in which q cam
In, the hach ground rraa hinhar thar,