Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1881-03-11

IL is claimed by some medical men
that smoking weakens the eye sight.
Maybe il does, but just see how il
strengthens the breath
Ii is said that what makes hen look
like a penny when she IL sitting on u
fence is because she has head on one
side and tail on the.other.
A young lady ate half wedding
cake, and then tried to dream Of her
future husband. Now she says she
would rather die than marry the man
that she saw in that dream.
II have nothing but my heart to give
you, said a spinster to lawyer who
had concluded suit for her. WELL"
said the lawyer grufiiy, Ego to my clerk,
he takes the fees"
what decoration is that you are
wearing y said an Austrian Sergeant to
u new recruit. The man blushed deeply
and responded, at is the medal our COW
won at the cattle show"
Wiltshire dame, the mother OF large
family, was once asked the number of
her children. LA me y she replied.
rocking herself to aud. fro, "Pve got
q
fourteen mostly boys and girls"
A man met an old woman in an Eng
lish town driving several asses. ..Adicu,
mother of asses y cried he. "Adieu,
INV SON." was the old crone's reply. The
fellow went his why, feeling for his ears.
ANY man" says an eminent writer
and observer, ''can marry any woman"
That is just what delegate Cannon thinks.
But he thinks, also, that "any" is syn
onomous with 'overy.'
A village pedagoguc, in despair with
a stupid boy, pointed out the letter A,
and asked him ii he knew il. Eyes,
sir" Well, what is it?" II know him
by sight, but hang me il ! can romem-
Der his name"
The first man was duped tho first
woman deceived her husband; and the
first child turned out murderer. Such
was the origin of humanity, and yet
people affect to be surprised that the
worlds no better than it is
1t is strange what small nibblc
woman will take out Of piece Of cake
when her lover Is looking, but with what
alacrity she can got fifteen clothes-pins
in her mouth on washing day, when she
is in a hurry and wants to go out in the
afternoon.
you look pale, Gus" said one fash
onable to another. Eyes, am as nery-
)us as eat" What is the matter %
well, you see, | dreamed last night
hat had paid off all my debts, and
Worried to death to know where got all
he money from"
A meddlosome old woman was sneer-
ng at a young mothers awkwardness with
Ter infant, and said II declare, woman
never ought TO have baby unless she
Knows how to hold it," "Nor tongue,
'ither," was the quiet rejoindcr.
II understand" said the Galveston
Recorder, THAT you are confirmed
lrunkard. " Oats whar you is too
Don, Jedge. amt been confirmed in
10 church yit, but do Blue Light Bap-
Uses is gibbing Satan heap of worry
bout me.
Henry vi. meeting one day in the
partments Of the Louvre a man of very
rdlnary physiognomy, and taking him
or one of the suite Of some nobleman,
emandcd to whom no belonged. ITO
nyself,' replied the person, in humor-
us tone. "My friend" said the king,
you have fool for MASTER"
A. was telling story ia the club.
s., when il was finished, said: well,
hat reminds me Of another anecdote,"
nd he related II. A. thereupon re-
parked II don't SEQ how what you
ave told US was recalled by my story"
III was replied b., because mine
Ias on the same page of Joe Miller ms
ours.
III have no patience with q man who
ant remember a thing any longer than
Is being told him." exclaimed Jones,
npaticntly. Now, eau carry thing
. my mind a month il need be-" You're
lucky dog, Jones, remarked Prender-
asst quickly; "it isn't every body that
as so much room IN his mind ms you
ave, you know"
After an enthusiastic lover spends two
ours hard labor over a letter to his
irl, aud then mars its beauty by spill
ig drop Of ink on il, he first swears
a scientific manner for fow minutes.
nd then draws circle round the blot
nd tells her Il is kiss. and she poor
hing, believes il.
Conversation between two school boys:
'irst boy--"Ive been down 10 have ny
cad felt by phrenclogist." Second
oy-"what did he sayl First boy
Oh, he said | had a great brain. bss
" body wasn't equal to il, and he told
" Guv'Dor he'd orter LAke nae out a
'hool for a year. aud just let ma play
, rest aud dcvelope my physique. and