Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1881-02-12
What Constitutes a Christian.

lBoston Transcript
The difference between a Christian and 4
heathen Is not great It merely consists in tile
following contrarieucs
Ia the rail car
The Christian will leave the half seat that
does not belong to him entirely unoccupied by
hlmse1 or his parcels; while the heather VIII
90 bis best, or worst, to cover as much snaca
as possible with either or both
The Christian will be prompt TO give seat
| 10 q lady or elderly gentleman; while the
heathen would do the same were he not so
deeply absorbed In his newspaper or the pan
oramic view afforded by the window that he
is UNCONSCIOUS OF what is going on within the
car
The Christian viii converse In q low time so
as not 10 disturb the other passengers: whereas
the heather will make the newspaper reader in
tle 1ar corner break the third commandment
into 1nt1nlteslmal fragments.
The Christian will be careful not to sol, the
moor; while the heather will Indulge his to-
pacco. chewing propensities to the utterrnost
WIN all the Hast1ness that that propensity I'M
plies.
The Christian will never open Ills window OF
acold day. The heather, on the contrary. VIII
shove hers clear up-we say hers, because this
when the thermometer is among the zeroes and
the wind among the billiards. and Will sit uIa-
cldiy, mplted to the throat in her seal sacd9le,
while the curses, not loud, but deep, low
things, the male passengers.
the Christian viii have his ticket ready for
the conductor when that patience-tried official
comes through the car: the heather Will DELAY
him for five minutes while leIsurely making !.
tour OF his pockets.
The Christian would no more think OF stealing
from the corporation than from a private Ger,
son; but the heather will cover his ticket with
his thumb and become absorbed In his newspa-
Fer, for haply the conductor may think him
season passenger, and pass him by accordingly.
Ire Christian, finding one car crowded.
VIII go Into the next one, and take seat;
while the heatben will iDcontinently make
Tor Inc full car, and stand up and growl con-
Sumedy.
The Christian will never make g nuisance OF
himself; but the heather Will every time and
never weary In doing II.
The Christian Will do his wbistling behind his
teeth, With his lips Theoretically scaled: TIE
heather VIII whistle like locomotive aud me
less ne Knows about Whist1ng the louder VIII
he whistle.
The Christian VIII keep his sidewalk clean
the year round; but the heather will SOW II
with banana skins In the summer aud par
mlt the snow and Ice 10 cucumber it Ia the
winter
The Christian Will be In his seat at the theafer
before tee curtain rises, and will sit there til
h ,on play Is ever the he athen viii come late,
leave uneriDgly at the moment OF intensesl
Interest just before the curtain fails and
pnhctuafe the performance throughout WILD
his I. any gc!ngs out and comings In.
The Christian will keep his ears open and hts
mouth closed in the concert room while the
heathen VIII reverse The process. and then
encore Ike threshing machine for aided op-
poTlunltieS TO talk aloud.
The Christian VIII talk abOu; what Interests
his inteTlocutor; the heather considers any
thing ne Is uninterested In unworthy of hu
and VII talk OF only what concerns himself aud
listen only to hts own voice.
The Christian Will leave the door open in the
summer and carefully close IL In the winter.
the heather viii leave IL wide open In the win
Ter, and slam 1t to in the summer with bang
like the bang OF piece OF heavy ordnance.
The Christian Will never smoke in the pres
for the heather unless ladies are In the room TO
enjoy It.
When the Christian prepares COPY for the
newspaper he VIII Write 1t iegibly and upon one
side OF the paper; out the heat hen Will write
upon both sides and hide his poor spelling be
hind Wretched chirograpby.
The Christian will recognize the editors In
telligence by acknowledging that he has spent
much Time In cog1tatiOn over his contribution:
the heather viii say that he dashed IL or
and add insult TO Injury by telling the editor
that II will help to iii up
The Christian VIII call upon man OF hrSi.
ness, transact his business promptly and leave
when it Is done; the heather VIII bore the man
OF business like gmlet.
The Christian Will keep 10 the right when on
the street; but the heather Will stick per
slsfehtIy 10 Tie left and srowl because he Is run
into.
The Christian Will stop the horse car only al
the crossing; the heather will be careful 20
stop il just after il has LETT the crossing NOT
WnhstanGipS II had already stopped there
The Christian Will occupy but space for Que
IN The morse car: while the heather viii spread
himself over half dozen spaces. and only con.
ochtra1e himself when be is forced 10 do IT.
Inc CHRISTIAN is Christian; the heather is a