The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1881-05-19
HUN

Thirty days after Michigan man got
a divorce from his wife to marry one
with handsomer face the woman fell
heir to $287, 900. You bet that ex-
husband feels like q man with the
jumping toothache.
Culture and slang: Acquires the
confection" is the Boston girls trans
lation of ''Takes the cake" Similarly,
1.-The proper caper' becomes The
correct cOntOrtion."
Consolation misapplied: ''You must
feel lonely, since your husband went
away" consolingly observed a neighbor
to her lady friend. ''Not at ALL she
had since l was schoolgirl.
II declare, John, never saw such q
man! You are always getting some
new wrinkle" And the brute calmly
replied: "Matilda, you are not, thank
fortune. If you had a new wrinkle,
you would have no place to put it, dear."
The decorative art mania. Miss Nom
aufait: s.What charming love of a cup
marked Tom and Jerryr" Gentleman
ly vendor of majolica: Eyes. we sell n
large number of them" Miss N: ''But
haven't you some marked Clifford and
Alvoid, or BERTHE and Georgie?'
A Chicago young man broke into the
room of the girl he loved, to carry her
away, as she refused to marry him.
She was absent, but left the bull dog
asleep on the bed. The room was dark.
The dog didn't bark but worked. In
about seven minutes the remains of the
Young man came out and said he
wouldn't marry that girl for $4,000.
30, smile as thou vert wont to smile"
sang the idol of little Toddlekin's soul
one evening as he sat on the lounge in
the parlor. He had recently at her
earnest request sworn off the use of in
toxicating fluids. AS she repeated the
refrain ne looked up calmly with a
strange, far-off look in his thirsty eye
and reached for his hat. ''You don't
know, Maria; you don't know" said
little Toddlekin, ''what a weight that
song has lifted from my heart" He
smiled again that evening as he was
wont, but she never again sang SO
touching a ballad.
At royal wedding in Germany it is
customary for the mistress of ceremonies
to cut up one of the brides garters into
small pieces, which are distributed to
those who have taken part in the fes-
tivities of the day. As large number
are entitled to these fragments of the
Order of the Garter, it is not quite clear
how one garter. or even pair OF gart-
ers, could supply the demand. AT
Prince Williams recent marriage the
difficulty was met by using many yards
of ribbon instead of the brides garter.
s.Ma," said an urchin with dirt-cov-
cred knuckles and pocket full OF
marbles, sis it wicked to play marbles
for keeps?'' .'Yes, my son, and you
must never do it." '.Is it wicked when
you lose all the time?'' ''Yes. Just the
same" els it wicked If you win all
the time and play with a boy who says
his mother says if she had your feet
she'd never go out except after dark?'
"II-go and wash your hands and
get ready for supperr' was the SHARP
reply, and the lad continued to play fol
keeps.
A would-be mother-in-law meets 8
friend. lately in the same predicament
who cries out: ''Oh, my dear, have
such q piece of news for you. Ny
daughter was married yesterday!'
"How nice! But how did you manage
it? Was your son-in-law Indifferent te
your lack of money, or did you make
him believe you were rich?' ''Oh, nc
(with q gleeful chuckle): l got oul
family doctor to tell him l couldn't live
six months"
dearest Harold, love you with al
the deep devotion of my sex. You
image is ineffaceably engraved on the
tablets of my memory. and in my hear
the love bear for you can never. never
die. But 1 am extravagant, wildly am
bilious to shine in society. to sit beside
the jeweled queens of fashion, to dazzle
all eyes with priceless gems. and so
dear, dear Harold, must marry th'
plumber"