The Wellington enterprise. [volume] (Wellington, Ohio) 1867-188?, 1881-04-07
THE PHILOSOPHER IN EXILE.
llr. Nasty, Thinking the United States q
Poor Place for n Prominent Democrat,
Determines to Expatriate Himself-His
Plans for Occupation Abroad-How His
Friends Helped Him to Leave.

Ar. N0DOy, Thinking tne Sntteo Dsoecs -
Poor Place for n Prominent Democrat,
Determines to Expatrinte Himself-His
Plans for Occupation Abroad-How His
Friends Helped Him to Leave.
[Fiom the Toledo Bidde.1
CoNrEDERrr Y ROADS
(wich Is In the State Nv KENTUCKY,
March 4, 1881.
The Yoonited States is no place for q
Qipocrat anymore. ARadikel General
sets. in the Presidenshel chair, and o
R6dikel Congris controls the destinies
Nv the Nashen. This Congris hez q
feendish delite in tearin open the
wounds that time shood hev heeled. 1t
will do-nothin to consulate the suffrin
South. 1t will refoose to pass appro-
priashens for our creeks in the South.
1t won't leSee the Mississippi, il won t
Corners, and, to cap the climax, it re-
fooses to pay $50. 600 for the papers NV
every Confedrit General wich is hard
up, and to whom $50, 200 wood be q
blessin.
For me ther amt no chance wateter.
The nigger. Lubbock, will continyoo in
the Postoffis, and Bigler and Pollock
will controle the Collectorship. l am
left out in the cold for four yeers, and
by that time Postoffis wood be a
superfiooity, for by 1885 shell be wher
ther amt no mail matter onless ther
are fire. proof bags to carry it in.
The Corners held meetin to deter
mine wat wuz to be done with me. 1t
wuz decided that the burden NV carin
for me wuz too heavy to be borne longer,
and suthin must be done to ease EN- up
A keerful estimate showed that l
owed in round numbers suthin over $4,-
900, witch wuz that much ded loss. Bas
com swore a sollum oath that he wood
never give credit for a dollar more to
me. and that settled it. L didn't care
what they did with me after that.
The prevailin disposishun Nv the peo-
pie wuz to take me out quietly, and
kill me; but that wuz over ruled. 1t
wuz desided that eff wuz permitted to
live suthin mite turn up to enable me
me to pay suthin on the indebtedniss,
whereas, eff wuz wunst ded all hope
wuz gone.
So they decided that shood live, but
that 1 must leave the Corners. l sed,
"All rite, but how am L to leave? !
hev no money and l absolootly decline
to walk. and when am gone wat am i
to live onP These questions must be
answered, or / decline to 60.
Then arose a long and tejus discus
sion. Deekin Pogram remarkt that his
dawter Mirandy told him that the
Greeshuns he'd a habit Nv maxim ther
Helots drunk so ez to impress onto the
minds NV ther sons the horrors Nv in
tempranse. why" sed the Deekin.
shoodent we send the Parson to
Greese, and pat him into the Helol
biznisp"
To this 1 eagerly asentid. 1 wuz
xxvsll,,, 70 If fhnp uantih haalf fhy
Helot to Illustrate the evils Nv intem.
pranse, 1 wuz the man, and to relieve
ther minds l wood say that in this case
salery wood be no objick, stiddy sitoo
ashen bein all that wood reqwire.
he'd no doubt Nv being able to satisfy
the Athenians in this partikeler. Eff the
average son NV the average AtheniaE
shood see me when l wuz reely full Nv
coffin-varnish, / don't think he wood
ever vencher to partake NV the fiooir
bole. Raise the money tor the passage
and consider ME a Helot for the re
mainder NV my life. 1t is singler wal
luck some men hev. Why wuz l moi
born a Helot? Think NV it. To no
only hev yoor likker furnisht free, bu
literally poured down your throte.
This dreem Nv bliss wuz roodly dis
turbed by Capt. MPelter. He sed thet
ther wus no question ez to my capas
| sity for the Helot biZnis, but the
Athenians wuzn't doin that sort u,
thing now. Wat Mirandy Pogram re
fered to wuz practist some thousands o
yeers ago, but at present the Athenian!
| got on without Helots, and illustrated
| the evils NV rum in ther own persons
The custom wuz an ancient, not /,
modern wun.
Issaker Gavitt perposed that shooC
be sent to Moo York, but Bascom per
tested to wunst. He Pemarkt that he't
sent me to Moo York, twict, but that i
wuz no good. alluz come back. Ded
he'd passes Good be procoored too easy
and eff them wuz onattainable, a MAJ
Good walk from Moo York to Kentucky
| No, eff we wuz to be relieved from thi
burden send him fur enuff away so tina
q return wood be impossible. He Woo
prefer to send me to fite the Booers il
South Africa, but he mite compermis,
on hevin me across the Atlantic. Z
| he contributed to hevin me sent abrod
| he shood insist that it be fur enough Il
preclood the possibility Nv a return
1t wuz finally agreed that shood he'
a steerage passage to Liverpool and sl'
on wich to live till Good establish my
self.
| Therefore, shell go to Europe. 1 an
not displeased with the prospeck. Their
is no yoose NV my remainin here, 70
there is nothin in this kentry for me
Ez l sed, the postoffis is hopelis, an,
there is no oppertoonity for anythil
else. shood only be enabled to liv
here by the chance charity NV friends
and sich contribooshens ez l mit
be able to levy on them ez didn't kno,
me.
Their Is n foold for mo in the Oh
World. kin turn to be q Irish patriot
and kin make decent livin by agitati
the wrongs of Ireland in Paris. / she
announce myself a agitator, and she
appeal to the Irish in Ameriky 70
means to start Skirmishin Fund.
shell not Join the regular agitators sic
as Parnell and them fellows, but changi
my name to O'Nasby, shell take boar
at the best hotel, and live in gorgeous
mis- ez long ez the present agitashe
goes on.
kin git to be a organizer NV suffri
labrin men, eff nuthin else turns up, tn
think 1 shood prefer the Irish dodge
Their never wuz a appeal made to tn
Irish servant girls in Ameriky in behal
NV the old sod, that was not librall
responded to, and kin make a good liy
in out Nv that.
Their are other pints that are worth
Nv considerashun. Likkers is only abou
half they are here, and consekentl
the expenses Nv livin is less. Wv cours
shell hev to git over my taste for sod
corn whisky, and accustom my stumic
to other varieties NV likker, but that
kin do. Their amt nothin made in tn
shape NV likker witch amt grateful t
me. am self-made man but ki
drink in any langwidge. kin accu:
tom myself to English ale. Scotc
whisky, German lager-beer, or Frenc
brandy. The effeck NV one is jist tn
same ez the other, the only reqwis
bein enuff NV it.
shell make my way to Paris to wuns
and it will go hard with me eff 1 can