The daily intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Territory [i.e. Wash.]) 1876-1881, 1881-08-13
DAILY INFELLIGBNCRR.
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Saturday. Aug. Is, 1881. !.
LADY PHYSICIANS.

4
A Sc Louis doctor factory recently
turned ont . dozen female doctors. As
long as the female doctors were confined
to one or two In the whole country. and
those were only experimental, we held
our peace. and dill not complain; bat
now that the colleges are engaged in
producing female doctors as business,
we must protest. and in doing 50 we
win give few reasons Why female
doctors win not prove paying branch
Of industry. ssas3a7 IS :
10 the FIRST place, IL they doctor any
body il must be women, and three
ksarths Of the women would rather have
male doctor. Suppose these colleges
torn out female doctors until there are
Is many OF them as male doctors,
what have they got TO practice on Z
a man. II there WAS nothing the matter
with him. might call in female doc
tor. but IL he was sick as . horse, (if Q
man Is sick he is sick az q horse, the
last thing be would have would
be female doctor. Aad whyY Be-
cause, when Q man has female fumb-
ling around him he wants TO feel welL
Hedon't want 70 be bilious or feyerish.
with his mouth tasting like cheese. and
HE eyes bleodshot, when the female is
looking him over and taking account of
stock. - a. - - - o
OF course these female doctors are
all young and good looking. and IL one
Of them came into D sick room where
man was m bed, and be had chills, and
was a. cold q . wedge. and she would
sit up Close 30 tia side Of the bed and
take hold Of his hand. HE pulse would
run up to . hundred and fifty, and she
would prescribe for fever when he
had chilblainsab oh, you can't fool %
on female doctors. A man who has
be en- sick and had male, doctors, knows
Just how he would feel to have O female
doctor come tripping in, and throw her
fur-lined cloak over schair, take off.
her hat and gloves and throw them on.
the lounge. and come up. to the bed
with q pair Of marine hlae eyes. with q
twinkle in thu corner, and look him IN
the wild, unchangeAble eye. and ask
him to run ont his tongue. y Suppose he.
knew his tongue was coated % ID look ed
ike . yellow Turkish towel. do you
suppose he would want to run ii out
over i've Or six inches OF 'thes lover
part Of 1t and let that female doctor
put her finger on it 10 Gee howfur il
wasI Not much. He would put that
tongue up into his cheek. and wouldn't l.,
let her soc il for twenty-five cents adj
mission. We have all seen doctors put
their hands under the bed clothes and
feel OF q mans feet to see il they we're
cold. II female doctor would do that
it would give q man cramps
in the legs. A male doctor can put his
hand on mans stomach. and liver aad
lungs. and ask him If he feels any
pain THERE but il q female doctor
should do the same thing il would
make Q man sick. and he would want
to get up ami kick himself for en-
ploying 0 female doctor. Oh. thS-e is
no use talking, it would kill man.
Now. suppose . man has heart dis
ease, and female doctor should want
to listen to the beating of his heart.
She would lay her left ear on his left
breast, 20 her eyes and rosebud mouth
would be Looking right into his face,
and her vsyy hair would be scattered
ell round there, getting tangled in the
buttons Of his mig ht shirt. Don't you
suppose his heart would get In about
twenty extra sbeAts : to- the minute |?
You bet b And she would smile we 4
will bet ten dollars she would smile-
sud show her pearlY teeth. end the ripe
lips would be working as though she
we're counting the beats. and he was
thinking she was trying to whisper to
him. and--well. what wonld be be
doing ali this time IL he ives not
dead yet. whieh would be O wonder,
his lcft hand would brush away the
hair from her isftstemple, and kind Of
stay there to keep the hair away. and
his hand would gsk sort Of nervous and
move round 10 the back Of hsr head
when she had counted the beats . few
minutes and Vas raising her hesd4 he
would draw skhss hsed mp 20 him ana |
kiss her once for luck IL he was %
bilious e. Jersey swamp angel-and
have her charge it in the bill And
then Q reaction would Get in and he
would get % weak o. cat, and she
would have TO fan him apl rub his
head until he got over bang nervous.
and then make out his prescription
After he goe 60 s,eep. Mo- all q
mans symptoms chan9s when . female
doctor 10 practising on him, and she
would kill him dad ~. s..ss.4sg So