Nebraska advertiser., 1881-12-15


any weapon (unless the umbrella can
| be called such), that should be just
as likely to begin with shooting number
one Chat is mvselD, as number two.
the First ruilian" "Never, willingly,
my dear say to Julia, "wlll shed
| the ife-blood of any human being, and
| least of all my own" On the other
hand, as | believe in the force of imagi-
nation, l always carry on these expedi-
tons, in the pocket of my dressing
| gown, n child 5 pistol--belonging to our
! infant, Edward John-which looks like
a real one, and would. | am persuad-
ed, have all the effects of n real one in
my hands without the element of per-
sonal peril. miserable ru'tans."
had made up my mind to say, when
coming upon the gang, ''your lives are
in my power (here | exhibit the pis-
tot butt), "but out of perhaps mis-
taken clemency l will only shoot one of
! you, the one that is the last to leave my
house. l shall count six Tor sixteen,
according to the number of the gang).
"and then tire Upon which they
would. | calculated, all skcdaddle he'll
| ter-pelter TO the door they got in at,
which | should lock and double-lock
after them. You may ask, Why double
lockP but you will get no satisfactory
reply. | know no more what to
double-lock" means than you do but
my favorte novelist--a sensational one
| always uses it., and | conclude he
ought to know. it was the beginning
of a misty October, when the leaves had
fallen off early. and our friends had fol-
lowed their example and had been
sitting up alone into the small hours
rcsolute to read my favorite author to
the bitter end-his third volume, where
! in all the chief characters Except the
comic ones) are slain, save one, who is
left sound in wind and limb, but with
an hereditary disposition to commit SUI
icide. Somewhat depressed by its pc
rusal and exceedingly sleepy, / went
about my usual task of seeing all was
right in somewhat careless and per-
functory manner All was right appa-
rently in the drawing-rJom, all right
certainly in the study (where | had my
self been sitting). and fill right-no,
not quite all right in our little back hall
or vestibule, where, upon the round
table, the very largest and thickeSt pair
of navvy's boots | ever saw were stand
ing between my wife's neat little UNI
brella and a pair of her gardening
gloves. Even in that awful moment |
remember the sense of contrast and in
congruitv struck me almost as forciblv
as the presence of the boots themselves
and they astonished and alarmed me as
much as the sight of the famous foot
prints did Robinson Crusoe, and for
precisely the same reason. The boot
u hn int Of in
selves, but my intelligence, now fully
awakened, at once flew to the conclu-
sion that somebody must have been
there to have left them, and was Droba-
bly, in the neighborhood. and indeed
under my roof, at that very moment.
If you give Prof. Owen foot of any
creature Gust rs of less scientific per-
sons we say Give them an inch, they
will take an ELY, he will build up the
whole animal out of his own head; and
something of the Professors marvellous
instinct was on this occasion mine.
pictured to myself (and as it turned out,
correctly monster more than six feet
high, broad in the shoulders. heavy in
the jowl, with legs like stone balus-
trades, and hands, but too often
clenched, of the size of pumpkins The
vestibule led into the pantry, where no
doubt this giant, with his one idea, or
half II one, would conclude the chief
part of our plate to be, whereas it was
/ lying-unless he had already taken it.;
a terrible thought that flashed through
my mind, followed by cluster of 9TH
ers, like a comet with its tail--under
our bed.
OF course | could have gone to the
( pantry at once, but felt averse to be
/ precipitate; perhaps (upon finding
nothing to steal this poor wretch
would feel remorse for what he had
done and 90 away. 1t would be "a
wicked thing to deprive him of the OPP
portunlty of repentance. Moreover,
it struck me that he might not be Il
theft after all, but only cousin (con-
siderably "remoyed'O of one of the
maid servants. 1t would have been
very wrong of her to let him into the
house at such an hour, but it was lust
possible that she had done so, and that
he was at that moment supping in the
kitchen upon certain cold grouse which
| knew were in the lardnr. Snch q
state of things. repeat, would have been
reprehensible, but | most sincerlv hoped
that it had occurred. A clandestine at
tachment, however misplaced, is better
than burglary with possible violence.
Coughing rather loudly, to give the
gentleman notice that | was about, and
to suggest that he had better take HIM
self of in my temporary absence, |
went ND to the attics to make inquiries.
And here am tempted to a digres-
sion concerning the excessive somno-
lency of female domestics. AS regards
our own, at least, they remind me, ex-
cept in number, of the Seven Sleepers.
] Knocked mt their door about a quar-
ter of an hour before attracting their at
tpntiOn and il took me another to con-