Arizona weekly citizen., 1881-11-13
Facts and FancieS.

left Liverpool for Utah during the past Summer.
 One-half of the Brooklyn bridge to its better half: "ThOu art 80 near and yet SO disconnected"
 in Pike county, Pa, but the buyer must find bis own barrel.
 TvO-thirds of the members of the each branch of the next General Assembly of Ohio will be Republicans.
 Blaine and Foster are names proposed by q correspondent of the Chicago Fri bune as candidates for 1884
 Aiarmer stopping at Baltimore ho- tel vas killed by gas escaping, he having blown out the light on retiring to bed.
 Some of the best timber grown in Maine has been made into 'canes cut on the battlefield" to sell at Yorktown BOs. Post.
 Six young MOdocs, from the remnant of Captain Jacks band, have arrived at Philadelphia to be educated at the Elm len Friends School
 President Arthur says his unmarried sisters health will not permit of her discharging the duties of Mistress of the White House.
 Rev. Everett L. Rexford, a Universal ist pastor of Detroit, has applied for A divorce on the ground of cruelty and misconduct
 The Chicago Journal thinks that the thing that did most to defeat General Hancock was his endorsement of " tariff for revenue only"
 Men who from the nature of their profession should have the greatest charity for human weakness, very ire quently have the least.
 Mir. Oyster, late foreman of the gov ernment printing office at Washington has opened his mouth and Is making some damaging disclosures
 Many of the eastern papers are calling upon men of moderate means to be very economical in view of the fact that fuel and provisions are rising m price. The Chicago Times rallies to the de- Iense of its epithet, S Guiteau stalwarts, ' as descriptive and appropriate when ap- propriately and discriptively used.
 Said the lecturer: ''The roads up these mountains are too steep and rocky
 
 did not attempt the ascent BOs. Trans.
 4 gentleman writing a letter concluded 1t as follows: Give everybOdy's love to everybody, so that nobody may be ag- grieyed by anybody being forgotten by somebody"
 The Very Reverend George Henry Sacteveren Johnson, Dean of Wells, noted us mathematician, and as one of the editors of the Speakers COmmen- tary,' Is dead.
 "How do you keep out of quarrelsZ' asked one friend of another. "Oh, easily enough" he replied. "If a man IS angry with me, let him have all the quarrel to himself"
 John Henry's wife picked up q good sized pink elastic in the hall, and just because John Henry said 1t looked like the chambermaid's there is trouble in the house. Saltwater Lumberman.
 At the Music Hall not long since that lady remarked to visiting friend, after solo on the the big organ, That's all very well, but you just wait till they put on the vox popuh- - Boston Courier.
 Come, now, it is time for you to go to bed, said an Austin lady to her little children, ''yOu must go to bed. Don't you know all the little chickens have gone to bed?" "Yes; but the old hen went with them"
 Perhaps, after all, it is better that some amateur actors should commence at the top of the ladder. They can work down much quicker than they can work up, and the agony of the public is soon over by the down grade.
 When you chance to meet man walk ing along in a stopped condition, with his head bowed down. his back bumped like that of cat, and his hands crossed over his vest-pockets, 1t Is safe to bot that ho has heen eating chestnuts.
 The following conundrum is particu- larly designed for those who are up" to the popular phrases of the day: Why is a letter about to be mailed like an unrelia- ble watch? Because 1t can't go for a cent.-lCambridge Tribune.
 Terribly sarcastic father: "Now, I l must bid you goodnight, Mir John, for l have an engagement. But say, why don't you stop and take breakfast with us some morning? You always 20 away an hour or two before 1t is ready"
 The financial failures in the United States amount to about S1,OOO.OOO per week. However 1t may be in the bright lexicon of youth, in the big books of the commercial agencies there certainly IS such q word as "fail. l."- Boston Tran script
 "What can't be cured must be en- dured, was the original remark Blinks made when his butcher charged him thirty cents a pound Tor beefsteak 70, no" returned the butcher, "what can't be cured must be sold fresh. ."-Bos- ton Star.
 The Philadelphia American Manufac- turer asks "If the French continue to exclude American pork, why should we not exclude French silk ?' And a re- cent reader remarks: Because you can not make a silk purse from a sow's ear"
 A person overheard two countrymen, who were observing a naturalist in the held collecting insects, says one Co the other, Whats the fellow doing. John?" Why, he'sa naturalist" What's thatw Why, one who catches gnats, to be sure r'
 The barber's children are little shavers: -AAN uPAAtiSACitA . alt llLllt IatEeTH the butchers are young lambs; the caIpen- ters are chips from tine old block; the bakers are cram baby tarts; and the angry mans are little pets.- \. Y. Daily News.
 A Buffalo lady grew jealous of another lady the other day, and threw a dipper- ful Of tar m her face. It Is not recorded that she threw in any ostrich feathers. We are pleased to observe that the re- porter ID waiting does not once allude to her as tartar EI.
 A new book on Word Building was probably written by a man who struck clOthes-hne while splitting wood in the back yard Very few aggrayations will make a nan build words more rapidly. but some of them possess too much em- phatlcness to preserve in book form lNorristovn Herald
 Chorus Of ladies to comedy curate who IS ascending the ladder to hand decora- hons: "Oh, Mir. Sweetlow, do take care Don't go up So dangerous Do come down Oh y Rector (sarcastically): " Really, Sweetlow, don't you think you'd better let married man do that ?''
 Sixty-nine cases of smallpox are re- ported at New Tacoma, Washington Territory, and several deaths. PhyEi- clans on the Puyallup reservation re- port that two Indians who rece, ly wis tied New Tacoma have died of he dis ease. New Tacoma has been placed under quarantine, and no one Is allowed to enter or leave 1t.
 A Chicago dispatch says the officials Of the Lake Shore road are ignorant of the programme for the lightning express, and the public are uniformed from off clal sourcea Elsewhere it is said that Vanderbilt has met so many difficulties III competing with the Pennsylvania roads fast time that he has given up the | fast train from Chicago to New York, ] and will nos attempt to beat the Penn 1