, 1881-05-20
Reid's Time Saver.
-LArgosy.

The other morning as the managing
editor of the only really first class adVer-
tising medium on the Pacific coast
was grinding out an editorial entitled,
"Our Corrupt Legislature" terrible
chattering and scratching was heard on
the stairs, aud Il man and and two dogs
entered with noise generally suggestive
of hurricane behind time.
As usual thing the NJ. L. of n daily
paper never answers preliminary ques-
ton inside of fifteen minutes, but in
this case the public instructor turned
furiously around and demanded to know
what the devil the intruder wanted. The
man was a raw-boned, jakey sort of a
customer, in a red shirt and yellow
pants, and his dogs. huge, scrabby look
ing mongrels of the approved poorhouse
breed
"Why, want this yer paper to go for
that swindlin' bench show up here at
ther Pervillian," said the intruder, deftly
aiming a squirt of tobacco Juice at the
editors left toe. Its the durn blamest
put up Job since the Heenan and Sayers
fight. and L want you fellers ter jump
right on to it with both feet-an' don't
you fergit it,"
You don't say so, now?"
''Yas, l do say so, young feller; I've
bin taking the Post for the past four
3ars."
''From the doorsteps, L suppose" said
the quill driver, grimly regarding one
of the dogs engaged in swallowing the
dramatic critics lunch, basket and all. D."
From my own doorsteps, smarty; so
think you fellers are bound to give me
lift"
'Oh, we'll give you lift fast enough"
said the journalist, wondering why the
fighting editor was always out when
wanted"
''All right, then; I'll give you the
business. You see, this whole id
Bench Show Committee are a gang of
old stiffs and buffers, who are work
ing to get all the prizes for their own
lot of broken down ours, and acrowding
out all the fine blood in town. Now, just
look at that animal. Only first-class
pointer in the State, and they acterally
wouldn't let him in. Lie down there,
Bonyparter' and he threw a ruler at the
leanest of the two shodows, who was just
finishing the paste pot.
Restraining an inclination to blow q
police whistle, the mOnlder of public
opinion led the way to another room.
Extended ON lounge in the corner was
the figure of man with an exchange
covering his face.
''This is the man you want to see, 3"
said the editor He is our sporting
editor. He's not asleep-the light hurts
his eyes, You know. Just so ahead and
tell him all you know" and he slid
ont
We'll. then, as I was asaying," con-
tirued the dog owner, lighting a five
center and taking a seat. they wouldn't
- IL 81 Ntn,. Nhnsa
blamed old show.
"Well-and then ?" said the S. E. from
under his paper.
1.-The cheek of that crowd is Just aw-
full, and yet they let in Meares' lot of
snide rabbit dogs, and Colonel Taylor's
NANCY, one-eyed, broken-down wreck of
a watch dog"
"Well-and then?"
THAT air dog, Muncher-I call him
Muncher, because he's such a hog-has
got more trainin' than all the rest of 'em
put together. / sold him once to man
goin' to Australia. The man lost him in
Sydney, and in less than two weeks he
reach home again. Swum all the way.
Now, what do you think of that ?"
''Well-and then?"
OH he did no end of other things
saved six men from being drowned,
on the square where We live. Turns on
the alarm every time"
''Well-and then?"
''Why, amt that enough? Now,
Bonyparte, here, Is the best duck dog as
walks on logs. He lies in the tules and
duaeks Just like a mallard-decOys the
ducks right up to him. When they light
he dives under the water, catches 'em
by the legs, pulls 'em down and swims
ashore with 'em. Got ninety-two last
Saturday"
''Well-and then?"
Hes powerful good on California
lions, too. Hunts 'em hisself. Last win
ter he killed two about ten miles from
camp-tied their tails together and
pulled 'em both"
'Well-and then?"
"What the internal blazes do yer
mean by croaking that way every few
minutes. You cant come any NV yer
games on me, young feller. Yer can't
guy me fur IA cent. Get up here and I'll
paste yer one on ther mob fur yer gall"
''Well-and then?"
The exasperated dog fancier was about
to fetch the exasperating sporting writer
tremendous kick in the ribs when a
gust of air blew off the paper. Instead
of q head, the figure on the lounge,
(which was carefully dressed in thread
bare clothes to resemble newspaper
man) ended in O cigar box. Let into
this was q tin tube, which led through
the plastering into the next room. Much
amazed, the dog trainer opened the ad-
joining door. At the other end of the
tube small and dirty printers devil
sat, sleepily watching the clock and
working off the familiar sentence every
two minutes. He was running that
beautiful and wonderful invention of
Whitelaw Reid's known as the Patent
interviewer, or Editors Time Saver.