The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1881-04-14
HUMOR.

Samson brought down the house, but
nobody called for an encore.
Good looks are snare. especially to
them that haven't got 'em.
A disagreeable man is one whose idea
OF fun differs from yours.
"Ah, my son, did you not know II
was sinful to catch fish on SundayPn
"Whos ketchin' any fshPn
The world is filling up with educated
fools--mankind read TO much and learn
too little, Josh BiliagS.
The minister who divides his dis.
courses into many heads will find il
difficult TO procure attentive ears for all
of them.
A La Crosse, Wis, minister prayed
for those "who were smitten with ill
ness, and those who have gone fish
ing, and also those too lazy to dress for
church.
A book binder had book brought
him to be rebound. After the Job was
finished he made the following entry
in his day-book; TO repairing the
Way to Heaven twenty-five cents"
Lawrence Barrett says: Genius, at
first, is little more than a great capaci-
ty for receiving discipline God, we
were a great genius, in our school
days!-- Boston Past
Says the Meriden Recorder: 1--WE
somewhat disremember the first conund-
rum propounded in sacred history, but
we think it was something about Jonah,
and the whale gave it up"
A South Hill debating club is wrest-
ling with 'Can commandments without
women?o We think il might exist for
awhile, but then it wouldn't know what
was going on. -Ha~keBe
~ slipped the nectar Of her lips;
slipped and lowered DER her"
"IIer fathers hoof flashed on the scene
I'm wiser now, and sorer."
Superintendent Walling, of New
York, has been ordered to enforce the
laws against lotteries at church fairs.
That solitary oyster will have about all
he can do now to keep the churches
alive.
There is n man in Newark, N. j., so
close that when he attends church he
occupies the pew farthest from the
pulpit to save the interest on his money
while the collectors are passing the
plate for contributions.
No matter how deep a young mans
pocket may be, colored silk handker-
chief will inevitably float to the top and
flop over, while a soiled linen rag will
sink to the bottom like a brick in
mud puddle,-N Y. Dispatch.
To enlighten little boy at Water
bury, Conn, the other day, the teacher
asked him if he had u sled and his
father should give him another, how
many he would then have. He prompt
ly replied, I'D have double ripper"
In the room of a railroad depot in
Iowa is the following placard over the
clock behind the counter: "Thls is a
clock-it is running-it is Chicago time
it is right-it is set every day at ten
o'clock now keep your - mouth
shut
II is mighty embarrassing to man
who has some religious friends staying
with him TO have his dog, which has
been very quiet during week days, be-
gin right after breakfast Sunday to run
to the gun in the corner and then to
his master, and wag his tail, and then
run back to the gun again
A coal merchant was discharging a
man who had been working for him,
when the employee said, well, I've
learned one thing while working for
you" "Well, what is it, you scampp'
i've learned that 1900 pounds make
ton,'-OH city DelricE
"Why, I'm 50 glad you've come. Did
you know that I've been worrying about
YOU, John, all the EVENING"" That's
just what | married you for. 1t is
pleasant TO think that there is some one
home worrying about YOU" Somehow
this view of the matter didn't exactly
coincide with her IDEAS of marital
amenities, --NeC Hdren Register.
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