Litchfield enquirer., 1881-06-02
CLIPPINGS.

do it
 Strawberries come in so fast now that deal ershave notime to put the small ones at the bottom of the box.
 "Know her" ''Oh, yes" lis she New Yorker?" -Well yes not native She's a New Yorker by vaccination"
 IA seaier, as'he gave last pnll at his glove before going to the ball. tdmarked, I've sac rificed another kid to Venus."
 Miss Browustone says that if she has dog she wants one of those great Sarah Bernhardt dogs that dig those dear old monks out of the snow in SwitZerland.I Ia --s<
 Mysteries of trade: "Wild cat life insurance companies ?' queried old Mrs. Hobbs, ''what on earth do they want to insure wild cats lives for?"
 Waterbury, Conn.,, claims to have an hon. est plumber Mr. Barnum here is grand opportunity to add to your collection of mon- strosties!
 A Philadelphia millionaire persuaded his sons to study law, and then so that they would be sure to get possession of all his property, wlled it to some one else.
 Whtelaw Reid will resume editing the Tribune next winter, but instead. of working atit.tlis summer will make Hay while the sun shires.
 The editor of the Naugatuck Sentinel will not print religious poetry unless he has the the name of the author, s'not for publication. but as guarantee of good faith" we presume.
 '.'Mr - you seem to be evolving that translation from your inner consciousness. |" Well, Professor, I read in my devetions last night that by faith Enoch was translated, and I thought would try it on Horace"
 Up in Goshen they have one of the husks that the ProdIgal son left over after one of his square meals with the swine. We pre- sume it was made in Waterbury. y.-Ne0 Ha- 0en Register.
 Properly referred Neghbor's pretty daughter -'How much is this yard ?" Dra per's son (desperate spoons on her)-s'Only one kiss" N. P. D.-'I will take three yards: grandma will pay"
 A Minneapolis thief stole the pans display ed in front of tin shop and sold them to the proprietor inside. What partner that man would have made for Dorsey in the star route business!
 ''What is the meaning of the word tanta- lZingF asked the teacher. Please, marm, !" spoke up little Johnny Halcomb, it means circus procession passing the schoolhouse and the scholars not allowed to look out'
 A South End girl thanked ma who gave her seat in street car and he married her and proved to be worth $40O,OOO (We cir cula'e this lie in the hope of inducing the girt5 to be more cOurteous.)
 When a man begins to go down hill he finds everything greased for the occasion. says philosopher, who might have added that when he tries to climb up he finds everything greased for the occasion too.
 William Peters of Arkansas sat himself down on the steps of a country church and said there should be no preaching there that Sunday After William had received bull let in the leg he vacated and the services were begun. The text was: "Why do the heather rage 2"
 The stove men were overrun with orders to remove stoves during the warm spell last week, but many now wish they had not been in quite so much of a hurry. In doing busi- ness with New England spring it is good plan to never do to day what can be put off until to morrow.
 A gentleman was walking through the streets in Charleston accompanied by native of that city. It was beautiful, bright night, and the stranger, pointing upward, said, Did you ever see anything as beautiful as that moon?" ''Oh, good Lor:," said the na- tive, you ought to have seen that moon be- fore the wah!" ~
 They were touching up their toilets pre- paratory to the afternoon promenade. sCic- ely, my dear, do youthink need any more color in my face?"
 That depends. If you only want deli cate blush. you have it just right. But if you want your complexion to match your hair, put on little more vermillion."
 4 young man who lives inAustin, and whose mouslache is, like faith, 1.-the evidence of things hoped for the substance of things noe yet seen, called on his prospective father-i in law, and gave notice that he intended marry ing the old gentlemau's daughter at an early date. ''It had better take place on some Sat urday. so that it will not interfere with your school hours" sarcasticaly remarked the old man.
 Effects of ''Gdipus Tyrannus" on Boston cult I: Helene, nly dear, did you see Mrs. Longpurse's diploidion? Was IS not elegant ? Real steel bead trimming, and that you know is very expensive. And then, the cut of her hlmaiion. It was Qute too" Helene, who is novice in the intense "But her chlamys was the one her sister wore last winter. She has it pieced down with vdveteen. Oh, l think. it is the utterest, homeliest." How Greek. How Greecey.
 Upon The railroad between Galveston and Austin they tell that Jay Gould and his party, while in Texas, stopped at a farmhouse along theline of the railroad to get some fresh eggs and nilk. The party furnishing the refresh mens wanted $50 dozen for his eggs. Jay Gould remarked that eggs must be scarce, to ask that much for theB, There are plenty of eggs here," responded the genial host. but felets like you, who can afford to pay such pri. ces. are scarce. That's why eggs are worth $50 dozen on this joyous occasion.''- Gas
 FROM THE DANBURY NEWS.
 M Il