Clearfield Republican. [volume] (Clearfield, Pa.) 1851-1937, 1881-01-05
now HE GOT on a sHfRT.

~ wish, my dear, said Mr. Spoop.
endyke, rolling over lazily IN bed, al
wish you would take the studs and
cuffbuttons out Of the shirt wore
yesterday, and put them into a clean
one for me-"
"Oi course will, you poor, dear,
tired man. said Mrs. Spoopcndyke,
"as II there were anything | wouldn't
do for you"
And she dove TO the bottom of the
drawer and fished out shirt he had
carefully slowed away nnder all the
rest, because he didn't have collar to
iit II. Then she adjusted the studs and
sleeve'buttons and the fore and aft
eollar-buttons, and laid IL across the
back Of chair.
~ sometimes wonder how | used to
get along as batchelor," said Mr..
Spoopendyke as he pulled on the shirt.
ado you know, my dear, my daily life
was made miserable by my shirts ?
But now"
And he kissed his wife atlecGonately,
while she beamed with delight, and
hustled around to get everything in
readiness, so that he might have to ask
for nothing
Mr., Spoopendy ke buttoDed and ar.
ranged everything until be came to the
collar part Of the business and then he
hesitated.
"Whered you find this shirt, any
way p he asked, stretching his neck
and looking at himself in the glass
Chow far did you have to 90 to wrench
this garment from obscurity, eh
What have you done TO the neck of
this shirt, anyhow? | haven't got
collar that will 60 half way round the
blasted thing"
Mrs. Spoopendyke Huttered up, and
examined the shirt in front, and then
looked at the back, and finally thrust
her hand between the band and neck
of her liege.
II sec what it is, she said. aYou
haven't pulled it down far enough
pulled it down! Pulled it down.
Where do you think this collar goes
on, Mrs. Spoopendyke Around the
waisty Maybe you think wear
collar for liver pad. Where'd you
get it2 Where'd you find it?"
II found il in the drawer with the
rest OF your shirts, my dear There's
nothing the matter with it," And she
patted the band on both sides of tho
neck, and then be gave it a gentle tug.
"There," she continued, smiling thro'
her anxiety, "now it's all right"
"0h, yes" returned Mr.. Spoopcn.
dyke, with fearfully sardonic laugh.
"Of course it's all right All you've
got to do is TO grin at any thing, and
that makes it all right, Look at it,
will your Just look atit. Don't you
see the collar won't meet by foot and
a hali2 Grin at it once more, Mrs.
Spoopendyke, Just grin at it. Itll
come all right. Just grin, will you?"
"Perhaps it's shsunk," SAID Mrs.
Spoopendyke, stroking the band ten.
derly, and looking at it with stats.
acal eye, as if calculating how much
the shrinking might have affected it.
"That's what it is" returned Mr..
Spoopendyke. "Now you've struck it.
It's shrunk When it was new. il
nearly choked me. Now it's shrunk
up like a barrol.hoop. I'm going to
hire you out for telescope, Mrs.
Spoopendyke you can see further and
more than q minister's wife at u sew.
ing circle. Oh It's shrunk that's all.
Its shrunk Now you pull on one
side, and | will on the other, and we'll
stretch it back smaller Get hold and
pull, will You lt's only shrunk.'
"Let me put a stitch in it, suggested
Mrs. Spoopendykc.
Put a stitch in it 1t don't want
anything more put in it, tell you. It's
got too much in it now. What do
you think this thing is anyhow? A
bed.quilt, eh2 Well it's shirt from
the shoulders down, and it's dozen
and half shirts from the shoulders
up. Where'd you get it any way
Who told you this was the shirt |
wanted2 Ever hear me say anything
about this shirt? Ever hear me allude
to this shirt p
"Well, 1 thought"
"Undoubtedly, Mrs. SpoOpendyke
unquestonably You thought. That's
the trouble with you. To much mind
altogether. Next fall am going to
build wing on you, and start a col.
lego. You thought pr'aps your ex.
altod reasoning suggested shirt with
"a collar-band that would go around
your ideas. Well what are you 90.
ing to do about it? How're you 60.
ing TO fix itl Going to stand there all
day, like duck in the mud, while !
fatten up to fill this measly thing p
Suppose you try on another shirt
suggested Mrs Spoopendyke, timidly.
"rhaCs it Now you're thinking
again. AS il hadn't shirt enough for
six Get out some more shirts, Mrs.
Spoopendyke. Get can all cut. Man
wants but ht!le here below, and wants
that all in shirts. Pull em out Blast
the thing"
II i-i.ipl
"There, now" said Mr. Spoopendykc,
as he hauled the wreck of and kicked
it under the bed. "Now, Mrs. Spoop.
endyke, p'r'aps you are satisfied. I've
busted the blamed thing for good"
Mrs. Spoopcndyke crawled under
the bed fshed ont the torn garment,
rescued the studs and sleeve.buttons,
and introduced them 10 another shirt,
with which Mr.. Spoopondyke arraycd
himself in silence.
"Another time, Mrs. Spoopendykc,"
said he at length, an thank you to
let my shirts alone. never had any
trouble when was bachelor, and
hereafter you won't interfere with my
things unless ] give special instruo.
tions. You understand me2"
"Yes, DEAR smiled Mrs. Spoopen.
dyke as she followed her lord to break.
fast
A ROMANCE IN OLD STyLE,--A nice
little romance appears in the columns
of the Springfield Republican. One OF
the rosiest maidens in that city, while
hurrying to the depot TO take train,
II