davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1881-10-22

The South AHEAD. - Notwith-
standing the vast numbers and
quantities Of proprietary medicines
that have for years flooded the
whole country, the honor for n spe-
cial remedy has been fairly won by
Southern gentleman, whose RENE
dy to day-stands without parallel
on the American continent. He
has achieved a decided victory ovass
nearly all chronic female complaints
which have heretofore proven so
difficult. Cases of ten gears stand
ing are often cured in short time
including married and single ladies.
We allude to DR.. j. p. Dromgoole
and his pet remedy, ENGLISH FEMALE
Buffers, now meeting with such
Wonderful success.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1881-10-22
Office.

Came to the premises of the subscriber.
residing at Lewisburg. in this parish.
"a brown and white pided steer, between
four and five years old, marked crop and
split in each ear, brand illegible, which
the owner can have by proving property
and paying charges.
MATTHEW DICKS, j. p,
Fourth ward, Parish of st. TammaRy.
CorinJtOn, La, Oct %. 1851.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1881-10-22

A young ledy recently remarked
that some men ale always talking
about patronizing their own town
always harping that duty-and yet
they 60 abroad to get married,
while here we all stand waitingi /
do hope that some of these men
who marry outsiders viii get
cheated"
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1881-10-22
THE ST. TANMANY FARMER
CovingtOn. October %. lss,
Clubbing Arrangement.

evil send the New Orleans WEEK
II DEMOCRAT the st. Tammanv
fAhAER' beautifully illustrated
almanac, and DIR. Kendalrs Treatise on
fhe Horse, to any address, one year, for
80 To- free of postage. Subscriptions
must be paid Invariably in adrance.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1881-10-22

There is nothing small about the
Nabob of GonGal, in India. He
has chosen seven youthful and
lovely brides from among the
daughters of the Gondal aristocracy
and has made arrangements to lead
them to the altar, one after another,
upon seven successive days.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1881-10-22

There is an awful state of affairs
in New Rochelle, N. Y. where a
type setter substituted the word
widows" for windows The editor
wrote: The windows of the church
need washing badly. They are too
dirty for any use, and are disgrace
to our village.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1881-10-22
LAND OFFICE, NEW ORLEANS. La,
Oct. 7. 1881.

Notice is hereby given that the follow.
ing named settler has filed notice of his
intention 70 make final proof in support
of his claim. and that said proof will be
made before the Judge OF Clerk of the
Court, at Covington. La, on the 18th of
November, 1881, viz:
Michael Brown, homestead No. 6154,
for the southeast quarter of section two,
township seven, south. range ten east.
st. Helena Meridian, La.
He names the following witnesses to
prove his continuous residence upon md
cultivation of said land. viz:
C. W. Bradley, P. j. Dulion. James
Gray and s. B. Staples, of St Tammany
parish, La,
oc15 st GEO. BALDEy, Register.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1881-10-22

A genuine female regulator and
iron tonic is in demand by nearly
every woman; that which stands
ple-eminent is DR.. Dromgoole's En-
GLIsH FEMALE BITTERs.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1881-10-22

An Albany paper teRs of a woman
in that city who woke her husband
during storm the other night and
said: 81 do wish you would stop
snoring, for / wsnt to hear it thun-
DER"
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1881-10-22
a SAILORS YARN.

This is the tale that was told TO me
By a shattered and battered son of the
| sea;
When was guileless young marine:
Twas the good ship Gyacutus,
All on the China seas.
With the wind a lee and the capstan free
To catch the summer breeze
Twas Captain Porgie of the deck,
To the mate in the mizzen hatch,
While the boatswain bold, in the for ard
hold,
Was winding the larboa.d watch:
'soh, how does our good skip head to-
night?
How heads our gallant craft?"
''Oh, she heads E., 5. w. by N,
Andthe bInnacle lies abaft."
"Oh, what does the quadrant indicate?
And how does the sextant stand?"
sob, the sextant's down to freezing point
And the quadrants lost hand"
"Oh, if the quadrant's lost hand,
And the sextant falls so low,
Its our body and bones to Dayy Jones
This night are bound to go.
"Oh, fly aloft to the cardboard streak,
And reef the spanker boom;
Bend steady sail to the nartingale,
To give her weather room.
'Oh, boatswain. down in the for'ard
held,
What water do Won find?"
-Four foot and half by tie royal gaf,
And rather more behind"
''Oh, sailors, collar your marlinspikes
And each Delaying pin;
Come, stir your stumps to spike the
pumps.
Or more will be coming in"
They stirred their stEmps. they spiked
the pumps,
They spliced the mizzen brace;
Aloft and allow they worked, but oh!
The water gained apaee.
They bored hole betow her Inc,
To let the water out;
But more and more, with awful gear,
The water in did spout.
Then mp spoke the cook of our gallant
ship,
And he was a lubber brave
1--WE several wives in various porta,
And my life I'd like to save
Then up spoke the captain of marines,
Who dearly loved his grog:
'Its awful to die, and worse to be dry,
And l move we pipe to grog."
Oh, then twas the gallant second mate,
As stopped the sailors jaw.
Twas the second mate whose hand was
weight
In laying down the law.
He took the anchor on his back,
and leaped into the main;
Through foam and spray he Glove his
way,
And sunk and rose again.
Through foam and spray, league away,
The anchor stout he bore.
Till safe at last. he made it fast,
And warped the ship ashore.
This was the tale that was told to me
sea.
And I envy the life of a second mate.
Though captains curse him and sailors
hate,
For he amt like some of the swabs I've
seen,
As would 60 and lie to poor marine.
Army and Nary Jdurndl.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1881-10-22

Ajuryman was asked if the Judge
had charged him. Faith" said he,
i'She little fellow lectured us good
deal, but I don't think he means to
charge for it.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1881-10-22
NEW ADVERTISEMENTS.
SUCCESSION OF JAMES 2. Cross.

State Of Louisiana, parish of ST. Tam
many-Eighteenth Judicial District
court.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1881-10-22

The best strengthened of mind
and body is Browns Iron Bituers.
1t is very soothing and refreshing
in its effect.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1881-02-20
els Patriotism Dying Out 2"

This query was propounded to Brother
Gardner in a letter from New York
city, and, after taking due time to
scratch the whole top of his head, he
observed:
Patriotism, as I understan' it, am
love of an devotion to our kentry. In
de late war we didn't hear of one single
patriot frowin' de kentry's greenbacks
over his shoulder. AFTER de war we all
went in fur pensions an back pay. [
expect we were all patriots, an expect
it war ruff On de kentry at de same
time. I can't say dat patriotism am
dyin' out. Oars jist as much hollerin'
on de glorious Fourth as dar was fifty
Vars ago. In case Of anoder war $16
q month would fill de ranks jist as quick.
Take it all in all, an kinder 'spect dat
patriotism am runnin' purity lebel. !
ar fur myself fust an kentry next, an
I 'spects OATS about what ails de hull OF
us.'-Free Press.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1881-02-20
Well Said.

In the Christian Union we find the
following in letter from an American
boy in Paris school. It shows how a
single word out of real history may 81
lence conceited ignorance.
I never went blowing about my coun-
try when I saw foreigner. was al
ways sorry for him when met a French
or an English boy in Boston Or New
York. But these French boys blow so |!
I never liked the English much. before,
but now I stand up for them. They
speak the English language-and that's
something they don't lie.
To-day a French boy said to ne in
school that the French always whipped
in war, and that they beat the English
every time.
He had been blowing against the En-
glish and the Americans, and I couldn't
get French enough to answer back; but,
when it came to that, put up both
hands like trumpet, and 1 whispered
through it as loud as could, "Water-
loo !"
never saw boy so mad. He turned
red in the face and shook his fist at me,
and just then NJ. Mandil, the teacher,
shouted: "M. Guillaume, piga.et une
quart heure!" Chat means one-quarter
Of an hours piquet at recess.) didn't
care for that. I'd got even with that
boy Dragging about French soldiers.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1881-02-20
An Effective Poem.

1t is common saying in Washington
that the most eloquent speeches in Con-
gress influence no votes. Each member
votes with his party, and is Indifferent to
facts, or logic, or pathetic appeals from
the leaders of the other side.
Oliver Wendell Holmes, however, en-
joys the rare credit Of changing the pol
icy of the Jackson administration, not
by speech, but by poem. The frigate
Constitution, the most famous vessel in
the American navy in the war with En-
gland, 1925, was an old hulk in Bos-
ton harbor, and it was decided to take
her to pieces, and put any good timber
in her to other uses.
Boston patriotism was reused by this
report, for the Constitution was looked
upon as specimen of New England
skill, and monument of Yankee cour-
age. DIR. Holmes, then an enthusiastic
young man, fresh from college, shared
the general feryor, and putt into a ring
ing poem, called cold Ironsides." The
poem became very popular, and was
copied in all the papers of the land. It
was struck off on hand-bills and circu-
lated freely in Washington. The adj
ministration did not care to resist the
popular feeling, and the orders to break
up the old frigate were countermanded.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1881-02-20
women in the East.

The Mohammedans nearly all believe
that woman hasno soul. This Is not taught
In the Koran, but is ccuntenanced by
the fact that IN the Great Prophets para
disc hours are given to the faithful in
stead of their earthly wives. The Chi
nese make slaves OF the women IN this
world, and deny them any hope of COM
pensation hereafter. In Western Aus
tralia female children are always be-
trothed few days after their birth, and,
should the first husband die before ma
turity, she belongs to his heir. In New
Zealand, if a girls future husband
should die, no other man can make a
proposal to her. Among the Hindoos
widows may not marry again. In China
the parents bargain for the marriage of
their children while they are yet IN
born. The New Hollanders steal their
wives, and, if woman attempts to es-
cape from her captor, he at once thrusts
a spear through the fleshy part of her
leg OF thigh. OF all methods of obtain.
ing a wife, that of purchase is the most
universal. It is practiced by the Afri-
can, by the black and brown races of
the Indian Archipelago, and by nearly
all the nations of Asia. The Circassian
women prefer being sent to CONSTANT
nople to be.sold. In Siam and Cochin
China men invariably purchase their
wives, but the women have one privilege
the parents cannot sell them without
their will. In China, however, women
are sold without being consulted on the
subject, and have to obey every one in
the family of her purchaser, without ex-
ception-the husbands control over her
being entirely unlimited. In Japan
presents are made by the bride, who
transfers them to her relatives, to defray
the expense and trouble they incurred
in bringing her up from infancy.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1881-02-20
Electricity as a Corrective,

In the Ohio State prison at Columbus
the punishment Of refractory prisoners
is accomplished in a scientific manner,
electricity being substituted in place of
the degrading lash. The convict is
stripped, handcufed, and placed in bath
tub, parallelogram in shape. 1t is
partially filed with water. and the bot
tom, which is of brass, is connected
with powerful battery. An attendant
seizes two. sponges, which are likewise
connected and charged, and gently
touches the convict's body. A circuit is
thus formed, and the patient receives q
shock that he will remember to his dying
day. This playful exercise is continued
until the convict cries enough. he is
unable to move, and for the time being
suffers excruciating torture, so that he
will never banker for a repetition of the
dose. The punishment leaves no wounds,
and, while more severe than fogging, it
is not SO humiliating. 80
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1881-02-20

out of WORKOUT theories, upset ideas
which have been established for centu-
RES. The latest and most astonishing
fact that has been developed is that
there is q scientific mode Of kissing.
The day when a young man could grab
q girl around the neck and gobble kiss
in rough but comfortable manner is
past. The time when he could circle
her waist with one arm, get his shirt
bosom full of hair-oil, and pirouette his
lips over every square inch of her coun-
tenance, is no more. Science has pro-
claimed against it, and man shudders,
but remains silent The old style of
kissing, which sounds like some one
tearing clap-board off a smoke-house,
is now considered bad taste, and conse-
quently is rapidly going out of fashion,
although the majority Of girls admit that
science has cruelty destroyed all the
comfort of long-lingering, heart-thrill-
ing kiss, and causes them to express no
little regret at the change. The i'm
proved scientific method of kissing is to
throw the right arm languidly around
the fair ones shoulder, tilt her chin up
with the left hand until her nose is
pointed at an angle of 45 deg, or rather
until it has an aspect resembling the
bowsprit of clipper-bult sloop, then
stoop slowly and Craze about her lips in
a quiet, subdued sort Of way, tickle her
nose with your mustache until she cries
"Ouchp This is scientific kissing, but
there is no consolation in it-nothing to
make q man feel like couple of galvanic
batteries were galloping along his spinal
column. It is fiat, lukewarm it lacks
substance, and if not stale is at least
improbable.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1881-02-20
Women in Street Cars.

A Chicago street-car conductor, in CIV
ing his experience in packing large
number of people into car, thus a.
ludes to the ladies' "Somen z tae
most deceivfn' passengers there is,
They Come in all fuffed up like, and at
first act as though bosses couldn't draw
'em within two feet of anybody, but
when it comes to real packin' 1t beats
all. I've often wondered where they go
to. Why, I've seen 'em get on lookin'
like pullet with its first crop OF feath-
ers, and when they got off they looked
like the same chicken had got caught IN
the rain. They give their clothes hitch
here and hist there, and they twist
and skooch and wiggle, and where they go
to / don't know. | can put more ofem
in this car than 1 can men. Guess
mebbe it's because their feet's smaller.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1881-02-20
A Noble Offer.

81 guess I'll have to hire clerk"
saba Galveston merchant, by the name
of Merritt, to his friend Chrysler.
"I am glad to see that the business
boom has struck you, " responded Chrys-
Ter.
cit isn't that" replied the merchant,
"but you see I am very popular, and I
am asked by my friends to step across
the street and take drink almost every
minute in the day, and as I haven't any
body to leave in the store have to de-
cline. Ten dollars day won't cover
what have lost by not having clerk"
"I'n tell you what I'll do" said Chrys-
Ter, frightening up; "hire me as your
clerk, and send me across the street to
drink with your friends, and I won't
charge you cent for my clerical serv-
ices"
The application Of Chrysler was put
on file, along with those Of number of
other leading citizens who had applied
already. NeaDs.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1881-02-20
Winning q Wife.

"There is nothing" say Lord Skates
bury, (which is so merely fortune Of
blind chance as marriage" A curious
illustration of his meaning comes from
the staid town of Franklin, Mass.
At al evening party there gentleman
challenged a charming young widow to
try her fortune at Bassino. She &C.
cepted the challenge, playfuily propos-
ing that they should play for
wager, and he, agreeing, asked her to
name the stakes. Seeing that she was
at a loss to respond, the host laughingly
said: ellis hand against yours. The
lady demurred, and was turning away
from the table, when the challenger IN
terposed with My hand for yours if
I win, or at your disposal for any young
lady among your acquaintance, her con-
sent being obtainable, if [ lose" The
wager was accepted, and the amused
company gathered around the board.
The lady led off well, her companion
playing badly, but improving in his
play as the game progressed; the lady
not having SO much nerve played worse
and worse until they finally left of, the
lady being the loser by 247 points.
Then the hostess advanced, took the
fair ones feebly-resisting hand and
placed it in that of the exultant winner,
who begged permission to keep the mace
with which he had won the match and
wife
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1881-02-20
The Value of Sunlight.

DIR. J. N. Farrar, in report to the
American Dental Association, strongly
sets forth the Importance Of direct sun
light in the workroom. He gives a
chapter of his own experience. First,
he built bay-window on the north side
of his Office with large north and west
windows, and even a skylight five feet
square. He commenced working in this
room in high degree of health, but
after little he found himself growing
weak and very pale. By the close Of
the year he had a cough which became
chronic. His acquaintance believed he
had consumption. This pulmonary
trouble was followed with difficulty in
the eyes which caused them to pain him
greatly when at work upon anything re-
curing close attention. FINAL he built
another bay-window on the south side
of the house, SO arranged that he could
regulate the intensity of tho light.
With the same amount of labor he found
himself at the end of six months greatly
improved in health. His cough had left
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1881-02-20
Sothern's Estimate of Americans.

When the conversation again turned
upon America, I suggested that should
like to know his opinion of the natives of
that country. He paused a moment,
and said, substantially:
"In my opinion, they are the most
liberal, the most generous people Of any
country I was ever in. You may know,
possibly, that I have travelled somewhat
extensively, but I repeat that the Amer
leans are generous, and I have more
warm friends in the United States than
anywhere else, and, beside all that, they
are the most go-ahead people in the
world"
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1881-02-20
The Tyranny of Buttons.

Among all the possible arguments for
woman's natural inferiority to man the
only one having real force has never
been formulated; this is her meek and
unquestioning submission to buttons.
The buttons of the male habiliments
are always coming notably before
breakfast, when the average husband is
about as amiable as bear with q sore
head. At this time, If he finds button
loose, he gives it "yank," and then
looks about helplessly for his victim
the first woman coming into his field of
vision. He holds the button up before
her, says it has "come" of, and she is
expected to sew it on straightway. Gen
orally the victim is his wife and, though
the baby may be crying, and the break
fast preparations in need of supervision,
while the tyrant himself has nothing on
earth to do but make bis toilet, and has,
moreover, sewing materials right before
him on the bureau or dressing table,
he never rises to the conception of his
possible competence to supply his own
wants. Woman, in his eyes, is the pre-
ordained supervisor of buttons and a
delicate consideration for her rights and
prerogatives is his motive for RELOCATING
the task to her; at least this is the way
he apologies, when in playful mood,
for his lack of dizziness with the needle,
which, as rule, is wholly the fault of
the women who had charge of his boy
hood. They should have taught him to
replace the buttons he is forever wrench
ing off with his rude lingering. One or
two lessons about the time the boy be-
gins to go to school, a little work-box
placed in his room, containing needles,
thread, two or three kinds of buttons
and an open-top thimble- only kind
that ever should be worn-and the prob
lem is solved for alifetime; for whatever
one is accustomed to do from childhood
one does easily and dexterously. Wom-
en- have shown their capacity for accom-
plishments and attainments supposed to
be exclusively masculine. It is time for
a corresponding display Of ambition and
adaptability on the part of men; and
they cannot make better beginning
than by learning to sew on their own
buttons.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1881-02-20
Tramps, and Their Signs.

"Ne," said the vagrant with a sigh,
times are getting better; they're not
what they used to be. A mans offered
more work than wittals."
Haven't you signs among you 30 that
you know where to go, and how you will
be treated and all that sort of thing ?"
"Well, we each have sign OF our own.
If see big, powerful bulldog hang
ing around the front door. / take that as
a sign meaning move on If there are
a few stout men In the next field to the
house, that means too much gristle and
too little meat If large pile of cord
wood stands by a house with a buck
saw reclining against it, that's q sign for
saws-edge.' Oh, yes, we have lots of
signs-good reliable signs, too"
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1881-02-20
The American Woman.

The expression in the faces Of the past
and present woman indicates change.
A certain noted physician, OF receiving
new case, always calls for earlier and
later photographs of his patient, that he
may compare the changes wrought III
the course Of years which may have
contributed to the present condition.
Such a gallery of portraits might help
In diagnosis of our modern woman.
The peace and equipoise, the hauteur,
united with Inconsistencies Of self, are
all gone. The face of to-day is stamped
with restlessness, wandering purpose
and self-consciousness The religious
aspect has vanished from conversation.
A modern "lunch " affords opportunity
for testing ordinary feminine talk, which
is never bad or vulgar-on the whole not
even frivolous, but is marked by super
ficiality in its discussion of novels and
subjects, though showing great familiar
ity with all known and to be known pub
LEGATIONS. Each woman could talk far
better than she does if she were not ham,
pered by self consciousness. An English
woman said, cat home politics and
party measures are discussed at our la
dies lunches, but in America one must
first 60 to a circulating library before
accepting MONDAY invitation" Lat
terly, suffrage has become feature of
conversation with us, but in humorous
or questioning vein rather than in an ar
gumentative or serious manner, except
with the one-ideaed, earnest souls who
can feel no charm in the "touch- and-go"
style of refined society. Gossip-not
scandal-and. illusions to conventional
modes of philanthropy take the place of
discussion of yesterdays sermon or the
last Congressional debate. If one wishes
q foreigner to form favorable opinion
of woman, apart from any special voca-
tion they may have, he should be invited
TO ladies' lunch, pure and simple, and
he will be compelled to admit that our
American women are easy, brilliant,
kindly, cultivated and altogether charm
ing. But he will read restlessness in
many a face, will notice little hurry in
the gait, quick tones of voice, business
air, suggestive of the surmise that all
these women are Gin or sat some
thing" The leisurely, graceful ele-
ment is wanting.