The Hickman courier., 1881-03-18
HUMORS OF THE DAY.

ICE cakes should never be served hot.
GIVE us songl" is a please-sing re-
quest.
THE highest priced coal is about Le-
high. Kaa
A MISPLACED switch may ruin a loco
motive or spoil boy.
WHAT is the prime object of soldiers
drill? To make holes in the enemy.
NOTHING keeps man from knowledge
and wisdom like thinking he has both.
A JOURNAL heads an article, "a Luna
tic Escapes and Marries a Widow" Es-
capped, eh2 We should say he got
caught
THE condition of the Utes is said to be
one of discomfort The last lot of paper
collars sent them had the button holes
omitted.
ADJEcr1vEs. are. the millinery of litera-
ture, and, like~the trimmings of a dress,
they should not be allowed to obscure
the original fabric. --Boston Courier.
A SARCASTIC writer speaks Of an enemy
who SIS but one step removed from nm
ass" He'd better make it three or four.
The animal has long reach backward.
DID, You ever see aswoman slip down?
OF course you never looked, but then
you We seen them. She didn't flourish
around like an intoxicated jumping jack,
filling the mir with arms and bad words,
as man does; but she simply abbrevi-
ates, so To- speak. like a crushed hat or
patent drinking cup, while you stand by
and wonder you never noticed that hole
in the sidewalk before.
cosuNDRUMs.
Twas Harry who tie silence broke
Ig elnse ~ I'd she spoke
Oh, no; beeau-s WOOD said he.
Why ere you Ike = ttee.'' she saSd.
" have n heart ?'' be sskcd, 10 low,
Her answer made tie young man red:
Because you're sappy, don't you know ~
Once more she asked why are you now
tree ?" He couldn't quite perceive
Trees leave sometimes aid make q bow,
And you ALWAYS bow-and leave"
m C. Dodge, IN Whuehdh TiD'ss
10U look so happy that / suppose
You have been to the dentist and had
that aching tooth pulled, said Calves
ton man to friend with swollen jaw.
ut amt that that makes me look
happy. The tooth acres worse than ever,
but L don't feel it." Flows that?"
We'll, L feel SO Jolly because have
Just been to the dentist, and he was out, "
and the happy man cut a pigeon-wing
on the sidewalk Galveston Ne,0s.
A DISCUSSION arose in coffee-room as
to the nationality of gentleman at the
other end of the room. "He is an En-
head "He's q Scotchman," said an
other, 81 know by his complexion I"
Hes German, said another, ST know
by his beard. Another thought he
looked like Spaniard. Here the con-
yersation rested, but soon one of them
spoke. 81 have it, said he, ''he's an
American; he's got his legs on the table. :"
They were watching the seagulls whirl-
ing in graceful circles above the waters
of the bay, while the rays of the sinking
sun covered the landscape with flood OF
gold. Finally he turned to her, and with
a voice trembling with emotion, asked:
Darling, if we were seagulls would you
fly away with me and be at rest ?" To
which she answered, with her gaze fixed
on a far-off mass of castellated clouds:
''No, George; I'd let you fly away, and
then I'd have all the rest | wanted here.
THERE are some very straightforward
people in Galveston. One of them came
up in the Ne,0S Office yesterday, and
sauntering up to the Sifter's desk, asked
Il hear that the bible has been revised.
Do you know If many important changes
have been made?" "A good many. / be-
lieve." ''Then there is no mistake about
lAllfDlfS DSlLiE HtLAIh NtCuNl III
''No. L believe not" "Well, if / was you
l would find outabout it, and he strolled
out as unconcernedly as you please
Galveston -NelrS.
A New YORK boarder asked diminu-
ton of his rent because of the dampness
of his house IT was naturally refused,
and the boarder gave notice that he
would leave. He got even with his land
lord by planting a beautiful mushroom
in his bed d-chamber and whenever any
one came to see the apartment he would
call to the servant girl: Bridget, see
here what is this mushroom doing in
this room? 1t seems to me that ] told
you to take it away" to which Bridget
answers: II did as You told me, sir, but
another must have grown there since
JUDGE CALDWELL, of North Carolina,
at one time was obliged to call upon an
old darkey to open his court. 1t was
evidently the first time he had acted in
the capacity of bailiff He began: 80.
yesi o, yesl o, yesi De hono'ble, de
Cot is now on de bench" Then, after
hesitating n moment as if not knowing
what to say, he seemed to hit it, and
ended by exclaiming, ''An' may de Lawd
have mercy on his soul !" Caldwell re-
torted Immediately, That's right, my
man: that's right; if there ever was a
Court that needed the mercy OF God, it's
this one '-Hdr3oer''s Magazine.
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