The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1881-04-29
Odd Items.


Hypocrites are now called oleomarga-
rinc Christians.
An English lady killer calls himself
great heartist.
A cannon ball must pass within three
inches of mans nose 90 produce blind
| ness.
The Philadelphia star asserts that
"truth whispered is more effective than
nonsense thundered' and truth it is that
Dr.. Bulls Cough Syrup is the best reme-
DIV in the land for curing a cough or
cold.
Never rent house of n man who
talks sanctimonously about gospel re-
pairs.
1t was dentist who complained last
summer ir the country that wasp has
only one tooth.
The contribution box is superior to the
ballot box. 1t is never stuffed and in
no danger of rcpeaters.
| An oyster, said Hood, is very anoma-
lous, for you have to take it out of its bed
before you tuck ii in.
\ new novel is entitled: "a Burlesque
Actress Dress Itis very short, well
bet.
Thomas Myrcs, Bracebrdge writes:
"Dr. Thomas Ecectrc Oil is the best
medicine | sell. 1t always gives salts
faction and in cases of coughs, colds,sore
throat, burns, &c, immediate relief has
been received by those who use it.
Everything has to pay up sometimes;
even the little chickens have to shell out.
When he takes her in his arms to kiss
her, Clara says her husband resembles n
selt-sealing envelope.
The Brooklyn clergy will postpone
further revivals. until after they have
taken their summer vacations.
SrEER's PoRT CRAZE WINE FOR WEAK
~ PERsoNs.-This excellent product of
the grape is prescribed and used by the
leading physicians in the country, when a
generous and nourishng wine is desir-
able especially for females aged persons
and consumptives and by churches for
communion. Hundreds of New York
Physicians have visited Speer's Vineyards
. and Wine Cellars, but twelve miles dis
tant from New York. For sale by G. A.
Klein, druggist, Bloomsburg, Pa
, "My wife" remarked F'itzboodle, sis
fairly crazy over the spring fashions.
a nhes got inc delirlum 'riinihihs'
!. 1t is great blessing not to have any
+ money. You don't have the anxiety of
1 loaning IL and wondering if you'll get
it back
Curran said of a man with a very sol
emn face: "Nhenever | see smiles on
that mans face, they remind me of the
~ tin clasps on an oaken coffin"
Il DrumnerS never nave TO serve an ap-
/ premiership. AS soon as they enter upon
J. their business they become Journeymen.
z When our first norcnts movod into
II Ine'r III, new mouse rom ,ne ''aroe' 0,
3 Hue,'' 'Iey CRITIC" everything III MAUI
d sa''''e''
J. TIE RUTHLESS DESTROYER.
That ruthless DESTROYER of so many
n lives Consmmption,may be prevented by
" using Dr. Thomas Eclectric oll,a speedy
ID and comprehensive medicine, used also
IS Tor lahenesS ana soreness, cuts bruises,
,e sPraihs' OufhS'pileS'klohey troubles irost
ID ed 1eet' burns warts bunons and other
m bodily troubles, as wen as diseases ana
c. injuries OF horses ana cattle
r. 4 Troy LAWYER asked n woman on the
H. witness stand her age, and she prompt,
10 ioP'leu So'' '','H iol W" ~ "''"s
u When Daoy' ana maven got my pay
u yet
Il An exchange saws: John Green 90
lS under the switch enrine Thursday. ii,
it. 'nSoiot io"' "". iio '.i"9V nav my,
Lile insurance companies are opposed
it TO cremation because they cannot Dig "
OF man 10 ascertai" "hether OF not III
he committed suicide.
Id Tbero i MANY = man IN tho ro,,d ,,b
rot ro,,or committed hnt ono On, nf f,i
to and who wont ont ,bn ond of IL rnt
rs; he dies
)O'
&c, BOGUS CERTIFICATES
%; 1t is no vile drugced stuff. pretendin
ius 70 he made of wonderful fora;o,n root
en-, barks, &c. and puffcd mn bv lone boor
o. certificates of pretended miraculous cure
+. but a slmple' pure, effective medicin
an, made of well-known valuable remedi,
No. that furnishes its own certificates by i
nm cures, We referto Hop Bittcrs, the pu
oo. est ana best OF medicines See anothc
lon eolumn'-He'""f'c""'
nd The Rochester DeU,ocr,,t remarksth,
ou' I'' 't D'''', NJ '''
90; ne rs SLOW young man. indeed the'
Il. uayS' VINO uoh know more about ma
3D., ried HE than the father ot toune'
chlIdreh'
PADDY's ADVICE TO EIryCIE Riders