Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1881-06-26
Johnny Spillkins.

Johnny SplllklnS, a Galveston boy of
about twelve summers: has just returned
from a brief visit to Austin, where he
has an uncle. Johnny must have spent
a great deal Of his time in the Capitol,
and have associated with legislators, TO r
he abounds in all manner of legislative
terms and expressions. His legislative
knowledge first cropped out when he
went to the door in answer to the bell.
The family clergyman was getting up a
subscription list for an orphan asylum,
and had called to get subscription He
asked Johnny if his father was in.
"The governor is engaged just now
with official business of great Importance
He is filing away batter cakes and other
internal Improvements"
The clergyman stared at him, and thsn
SAID:
"Tell yonr father that l would like to
see him. l want him to subscribe to get
up benefit for the orphans"
cit is OF no use for you to introduce
that bill; besides, you ought to know that
the Governor has no jurisdiction in such
matters. You can get somebody to in
troduce your bill, but shall vote against
it. 1t is unconstitutional to vote the
money of the state to relieve orphans.
l am in favor of orphans. They are a
good thing to have in the family, but 1
do not propose that you should open the
door to fraud and corruption by appro-
priating any of the cash balance for that
purpose. Why should the orphan be re-
lieved when the boy who has the mumps
is overlooked Then again, how are we
to tell that they are orphans7 They may
have two or three mothers apiece for all
this legislature may know to the contrary
What security has this house that the
orphans will ever see the money, anyhow?
Just as like as not you will spend it in
riotous living. You had better withdraw
your motion, parson, for after this legis-
lature has set down on the crippled con-
federate soldier, it is not afraid of whole
asylum full of orphans l close the de-
bate and the door" And Johnny shut
the door in the clergyman's face. The
latter gasped for breath, but passed on,
wondering that he had not heard of the
poor boys insanity before.
When Johnny came back to the break
fast table his father asked him who was
at the door.
1T was the Rev Goodman, but l sat
down on him in the committeeman. l
don't think he will bother this house any
more this term"
Johnny's father remarked that sending
the boy to Austin had made fool of him,
but he thought he knew of remedy.
Johnny replied, carelessly, that there
had already been too much special legis-
lation in that family anyhow, and strolled
off to school.
His experiences at school were very
dlscouraging. When he was called on to
say his lesson he wanted to refer the
whole matter to the Committee on
Sponges and Slate-pencils. The teacher
asked him what he meant by talking such
foolishness
"That, sah," said Johnny, striking an
attitude and thrusting one hand in his
vest-sthat, sab, is question that can
only be answered outside of this hall,
sab"
The teacher replied:
s'Just as the gentleman wishes After
we will have a joint discus
sion'
And so they did. When Johuny came
home he was the sorest boy on Galveston
Island; but he was still chockful of legis-
lative lore, for when mis- mother told him
that his father had left word for him to
clean up the yard, he laughed contemptu-
ously and said:
"Ha! Another message from the |
governor. I believe the old man fancies
that he can run this legislature, but he
will find out about that before the session
IS over"
When the old man came home the first |