The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1881-09-14
HUMORS OF THE DAY.

CAPT EAps has quite an admiration
for the offspring of Africa because it's
apt to be little jetty. Yonkers Ga
sette.
In BALTIMORE a fine OF 81 is imposed
for every oath used. A newspaper man
on princely salary would die pauper
in that city.-.Hodern Ayyo.
A CANADA farmer discovered pit
containing 500 skulls. Must have been
tho site of an ancient theater to have had
so many dead heads in the pit.
"DIs vas der vinder NIT mine disgon-
tend |" remarked an excited Teuton MS
the window sash came down upon his
neck while he was looking at a bicycle
race.
A BRIDE is reported to have lately
said &" | told all my friends to have my
name put on my presents so that II d.
vorced George should not be able to
claim them.
NOTICE at the door of u ready made
clothing establishment in one OF tho
poorer quarters of Paris "Do not 60
somewhere else to be robbed walk i'll
here. '--Ary0n0'H.
Ir IS now claimed that Satan pre-.
vailed over Eve by imp ortnnity.
y, Hcraid, f. l. Has it been demon
strated ?-COmmcrcict BUiictia. Yes,
il is the latest Development.
BErcHER says that IIadts is n State
rather than place. He doesn't say
what State, but 600 to Texas has al
ways been considered synonymous with
that other profaue injunction.
WE poN'r see why the revised edition
won't suit big percentage of the folks.
II has just as handsome bindings, looks
rs well ON a centre table and is just
az good to press leaves with.-B0stOn
Post.
Omo's valuation is said to have in
creased only Sl3, 00O 600 in ten years. In
view OF the fact that half the State has
been holding office during that period,
the story may be considered lie. --BoS-
ton Post.
a QuWoY lady who feels aggrioved at
notice in Il recent number of the ArGO
threatens to box our ears. This would
make live boom in the lumber bust
ness and cause the hearts of several idle
carpenters to rejoice. --lfoden 1rgo.
CLERGYMAN" No, my dear, it is i'm.
possible to preach amy kind of sermon
to such II congregation OF asses
Smart young lady" And is that why
you call them dearly beloved breth-
rem ? "--Colamdi0 Spectator.
A CGNcINNATI youth practiced smoking
cigars and blowing the smoke from his
nose, but Just rs everybody thought him
awful smart he became deaf, and il
likely to remain so.--DetrOB Free Press
He must have had very poor nose for
hearing
WHEN young man devotes fifteen
minutes to arranging his necktie on Sun
day evening, and brushes his hair with
II little more particularly than usual, it
is II sign that he has pressing bust
ness on hand, and will get into a tight
sqocae before midnight
81 UNDERSTAND that your son is bach
elor Of arts" said Mrs. Brown to Mrs.
Homespun, whose son had Just been
/ graduated Mt Harvard. "Well, yes"
replied Mrs. Homespun eyes, he's "a
bachelor-but he's engaged. "-BoSton
Transcript
WILLIAM PENN was very honest man.
He would not rob the Indians of their
lands. Not bit of it He honorably
gave them seven pounds of bread and
some jack-knives for the territory of
Pennsylvania. Such honesty cannot but
be rewarded. Boston Post.
"WHEN have prepared remarkably
good Sermon" said Rev. Mr.. Gushweli,
cit generally happens that have very
small congregation to listen to it,"
What memory you have p exclaimed
FoSg, III tones Of establishment
how long ago was it that you prepared
that sermon, did you say. boston Tran
ScriDf