The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1881-03-01
FAOETIE
IALoM rHoMPsoN's VEST.


Then he ran to his parent stern and told,
And the parent stern replied:
There amt no harm in vest; slide OUT
But the lad refused TO slide.
There amt no harm in a vest, know"
And his eye flashed bright that minute,
"But isn't 1t dangerous, dad" he asked,
when Absalom Thompson's in III"
When the Indians 90 on a staying
party, they get out their runners.
Regular rehearsals have been recon-
mcnded for new book canvassers.
Bob Ingcrsoll says that it was drink
ing hotel coffee which first made him
an atheist
You might as well try TO strike
light on block OF ice as TO do business
without advertising,
When a married woman buys pug
dog for low price she gets a bargain
and her husband gets something to
boot
Virginia is getting more than her
wont of snow. This is the first real in
dication of the growing Northern feel
ing said To be noticed there.
Miss Lisetta Reist. of London, lately
deceased, left money to be used forever
in sprinkling Tower street hill with sand,
to prevent horses from slipping.
Anxious small boy ma, where did
! chuck my skates after the ice broke up
last spring. Bridget, do you know
wherein thunder my sled is?'
well Miss" said knight of the
birch rod, 'can you decline kiss?h
"Yes, sir" said the girl, dropping a
perplcyed courtesy, II can, but hate
to most plaguiIy.'
Stanley says the American Nation
could be set down in the heart of Africa
and find itself lost. Our lightning-rod
pcddlcrs would open communication
pretty quick
"What earthly use is it, exclaimed
a langlid Washington swell the other
morning, "our twying to be awisto-
cwatic, monarchial and that sort of
| thing, when a Senator of the United
States eats peanuts while riding in the
street cars. We're nothing but dim d
homid republic, after all"
Little six-year-od was taking his
first lesson in addition, and when the
teacher asked bim, IF ! we're to give
you two cats and another nice lady gave
you two more, how many cats would
you have?' he quick y replied, "Why
pretty soon | wouldn't have any, fol
my mamma would break their neck,
with the broom. She don't like cats. .
-NoJr,siOwn Hcrdd
No wonder a man hates TO have hi
picture taken. When he gets seate,
the photographer tells him to look per
frctIy natural. SO the fellow makes
desperate effort to twist his face into it
natural expression. The effort gener
ally results in an expression like unit
that of mailman trying TO look cross
eyed and plan murder al the sam
time, and when he sees the picture IN
thinks that if it looks natural he mus
be- too mortally homely to have his pic
ture lying around, And he doesn'
submit to the process again in hurry
A well dressed Galveston gentleman
found himself in a very embarrassing
situation yesterday, He had left hi,
money at home. and not u nickel or {
car ticket could he find anywhere il
his clothing He was about to leave
the car, when perfect stranger with ;
sinister east of countcnance rendered
the gentleman anickcl, who gladly ac
ccptcd it and dropped it into the box
The gentleman then shook his unknown
bcnciacDor by the hand, thanking hin
for the confidence and accommodation
and asking for hi, address SO rs to re
turn the money, Never mind,' re
spondej the generous man, iiercely
''its counterfeit, anyhow, Tn,
street car company will make that hell
hound OF a driver redeem it, The,
Will dock his wages I've got no spit,
at YOU. He is the scoundrcl am after
He has trllcd with the affections Of m,
sister, but this will show him what sor
of man am when my blood is up" "
G1heStOn NclrS.