Claiborne guardian. [volume] (Homer, La.) 1877-188?, 1881-05-11
Prize Essay on Newspapers.

Printers Devil, London Sporting Times.
Newspapers is termed vehicles O
information. They is divided into
three sections-Sportin' papers,
nooSepapers, serciety papers. A
sportin' paper, like the Sportin'
Tlmes) is II paper as tells yer how
to invest without being welshed. A
noosepaper like the Standard tells
yer the same thing but pretends
not to do it. A serciety paper tells
man what he didn't say of, and
what his wife didn't do of.
Compositions is men, bnt some.
times is women. They set mp their
papers and makes IA null . their
koppy. Say as when a sportin' ritter
says one day as how Robert the
Devil will win the Derby: the next
day he says az how il was n "prin.
ter's error" scin' as how he wrote
as plain as pikestaff, Bend Or,
which shows as how compositors is
fools. CompositOrs is very steady
men when they is sober, which they
seldom is when they cant help it..
On week day mornlns you will find
conposit0rs is much about Shoe
Lane aud Salisbury Court, on Sun.
days YOU will find EN- a.bed.
Readers is men who Spoils
punctivashun o compositors. Rea.
ders spells "A word Que way today
aud another way Tomorrow. They
is better dressed but has less pay
than compositions. Readers think
they is intelligent persons. Some
folks thinks different.
Foremen is men as kicks mp rows
with the compositOrs for IA not doin'
of what they have been told not TO
do. Foreman also kicks the prin.
ter's devils. Some fOremen also
sings "The Sea is England's Glory
other toremen also sings very small,
indeed.
Reporters is what is termed "the
staff" SO many O EN- being sticks
They works hard at retrcshment
bars. They goes night after night
TO free feeds, and eats and drinks
for naught. They goes into shops
and orders what they likes-which
they never pays at all. Some re-
porters beats their wives and some
wives beats their reporters.
Sub editors is men who pretends
TO look over koppy. But they never
pertend to look ever bars at bar.
maids-which they do regular. The
public thinks sub editions is editors,
which they think 80 themselves.
Dramatic critics is cOves what
does the theatyres. They is seedy.
looking cores during the day, but
at night-oh, moy. They wears
swallow tails and new dickies,
which sparkles with glass diamonds.
They is ftllers who think they know
better than Billy Shakspear. and is
always tryin' to improve on Hamlet.
They sit in the stalls lookin'
knives aud fnrkes at the audience
and when they looks mp at huz in
Inc gallery they seems 10 say,
Look ut the monkeys from the
ZOe.7 Their governors tell them
never to take free passes nor TO
write one sided, which they always
acts mp to these distractions.
Editors is men of great ability,
and knows anything in the wings
above aud the hearth beneath, and
the (strong) waters under the
hearth. Editors is writers who
doesn't write enythink. They eats
and drinks more and better than
reporters, but they does il on the
q. t. They is the biggest men you
ever see.
Managers and publishers is men
as takes in the tin. They keeps al
much as they likes aud gives the
rest TO the propriefors
Proprietors isn't anybody. They
amt even seen. In the winter the,
lives in the country, and in summer
they goes voting.
Printers devils 10 the most impof