Evening star., 1881-12-28

A Wonderful Turkey That n JcrseH
Farmer Could Not Dispose OF.

Farmer Could Not Dispose OF.
From the Philadelphia Times.
With groan of despair a mackerel-eyed soil
turner from New Jersey flung himself like
bushel of tumips on an inverted basket behind
his stall in the Farmers Market at noon yester.
day and gazed unutterable things at the figure
of a woman who had been barterins with him
vainly for the last ten minutes for the last tur-
key he had in stock. The turkey. a regular
whopper, hung head downward from a hook.
displaying his muscular development to the
best advantage The bird. from the length of
his beard and the spread of his tail-feathers.
which alone remained OF all his piumage. had
evidently been bara-yard "boss" and cut big
figure among the large circle of females that
composed the family. Sitting gracefully on q
meat block on the other side of the aisle was an
elderly agrculturist deeply absorbed ia working
a half OF pumpkin pie into rhomboid- shaped
mouth.
AKin." shouted the proprietor of the aged
fowl to his friend. - was sure that 'un WAS
going to take him. There has been more wimin
as has poked theer fingers inter his chest and
yanked his breast bone about an felt OF his legs
TO see if he was young than you could put in two
piles. L never seed turkey keep up pear
ances so well as this 'un. L reckon he's bout
ten year old: an if that old catamaran hadn't
pnched blue spot on his leg as big as a shoe
buckle could work him OF as q spring 'un,
sure"
A score or more of middle-aged women pun-
ming for :" bargains" We're skinning through the
market and the man from Jersey was on the
verge of giving up when one of the number spied
the aged and lonely gobbler and went for him.
fOung!" She asked Of the owner I'm a penny
whistle voice. at the same time poking the bird
all about the breast-bone with pudgy index
finger.
Hes as tender. mum. a gum shoe cal
culate if he was stuffed right and baked brown
he'd melt in your mouth. Just nab onto that
ere breast-bOne and give it wrench. That's
the test" The woman clasped her thumb and
finger on the spot indicated and smiled dubi-
ously while she worked the bone that had been
worked SO frequently before.
There is one thing about this bird can't un-
derstand, said she, ''his beard is too big for .
young turkey"
''Wal there, broke in the marketman casting
an appealing look out of his mackeral optics at
the subject under discussion. THAT ERE COB
bier hes alus been a wonder to me. He want
more than two months old before he began to
put on more friis than prize ram at county
fair. He pranced around the barnyard. with
that ere tail spread out like windmill. and cut
bigger swath than a two-horse reaper. The
next thing we know'd he was cutiyating a
beard-afore he was three months out of the
shell. SO help me Bob. He's old looking. mum.
af0re his time, but he's as tender as can be-"
The customer. during this little speech. had
been eyeing the precocious bird from tail to top
knot. and finally espied the mark on his leg
where the previous customer had bruised it,
my goodness" she exclaimed; whats that?
Why, it's on the point of turning. guess
don't want him."
The truthful loan worker was stumped for q
moment and then, working his conference.-the
a child-like smile, said .wal, now, that's Just
too funny for nothing. Why, mum, that 5 q
vaccination mark"
"A what?" pped in the woman.
"A vaccination mark. repeated the honest
farmer. ''He was SO tarnal cute that we deter
mined to raise him just for his STYLE an being
afeered that he might catch the chicken-pox
had him waccinated. 1t took like the measles
you see. He's never seen a sick day since,
though my wife says he has swallered more nails
and shoe-strings than you could pack in coffee
pot"
From the looks of his craw," broke In tine
woman. sarcastically, II should imagine he had
Killed on cObble-stones or railroad spikes" With
this little speech the woman gave her dry goods
fOunce and left the man and his turkey in
gloom. By this time Alvin had bolted the last
quarter section of pie and was scraping of tile
grease that had left the meat block to stick to
his trousers when the Jerseyrnan remarked: Il
reckon, Alvin, l had better go hum with this
ere seventeen pounds Of grizzle. think IL
run him through threshing machines and let the
children play with his carcass during the h0li-
days and then let pe-driver drap ON him an
hour or two / may be able to work him OF on
some young woman just gone to housekeeping.
| He'd run boarding house from now till New
Years, but women don't know nothing, noh0w."
CHRISTMAS IN LOUIsvuLE.-A Telegram from
Louisville, December, 26th, saws Within the
last twenty-four hours there have been five
murders, two fatal accidents. two suicides ono
attempted suicide, and three serious drunken
afirsys in tie three cities around the falls, and
l the people ere stili celebrating ChEistnlas.