Northern tribune. [volume] (Cheboygan, Mich.) 1875-1885, 1881-11-12
The Editor and the Tracts.

lANV'Oihoci NCubuiy, lduo pCllDuoI.
The Editor and tho Tracts.
SLOW do you do again, sir?" remarked
a stony eyed lady, as she laid her satchel
on the managing editors desk. 81 left
some tracts with you few weeks ago.
Have you prOfited by them?"
IL think So" replied the editor
wondering what he had done with them.
"They were very good indeed"
Were you impressed with that de-
lightful tract on The wiles of the devil
is exemplified in the maturity of MANI"
asked the stony eyed woman, sternly.
Very much so, but thought it I'M
necessarily severe on the Republican
party. Now l don't believe"
"YOu haven't read it," snOrted the lady
fiercely. "Did give you Hell from an
8sthetical standpoint
81 think you did ma'am," replied the
editor, "Pve had it from every stand
point and-yes, remember, that's the
one that opposed youthful marriages and
dealt such blow at the frauds in the
Treasury department. read it"
"YOu did nOtw said the lady calmly.
whats this pasted over the broken
pane? Do l understand that you plug
your windows with Divine Providence
as illustrated in the case of Deacon
Prattp What have you dOue with the
Growing mercy of the Almightyp"
IL took that hOme," stammered the
editor. THAT'S the one l read nights
Its false. / see corner of it stick
ing out. Oh, man, man! What do you
expect will become of your soul if you
use the Growing mercy of the Almighty
to stop up rat hOles?"
at must have fallen in there" muir
INJURED the wretched editor.
"Did the Sinners prayer for light fall
up over the dOOr?" demanded the lady as
she pulled the tract out of crack in the
door, where it was doing good service as
weather strip. Whittier are you drift
ing, persisting mortal? Have you pc
rused the Deadly sin; or, the peculiar
misfOrtunes of Wilhelmina Short"
"Was it attached to the Presidents
message?" asked the editor.
ut was not. YOuihaven't opened it,.
Where's the 'Devil?"
''He's out in the composing room. I'll
call him." and the bewildered editor
started up.
'You will not" said the lady decisive
ly. Here is the Devil rolled up into
cigar lighters. Have you no care for
your immortal soul? Show me 'Heav-
ems best gift to man." CFrrf rrfEU
"Wasn't that something about civil
service REFORM" asked the editor fumb-
ling among his papers. 81 remember
''You remember nothing about it,"
proclaimed the lady, "and here / find the
Last refuge Of the unredeemed' folded
in your hat y
"The hat was to large for me-" NUT
tered the editor, IL keep, it there to
read in the cars"
"And do you keep The wandering
sheep in the neck of this bottle" de-
manded the woman seiziDg ginger ale
flask and untwlsting the unhappy tract
that had been doing duty as cork.
Hush said the editor, IL see it all!
That belongs to the city editor, and it's
he who has perpetrated this foul
wrong" ....-....
otis well you discovered it in time.
Has he got Material DamnatiOn?"
"If he hasn't he will, mOaned the edi-
tor, "and think he's got"
"YOu have deceived me. Why shoulder
your sins on him? Here's Material
damnatiOn' scattered all around your
OlllCt, huu nuu bIO OldSC VI uOu JdU-
bed into key hole. Oh; unregenerate
man, what have you done with The last
hours of jeremiah Smalleyp"
FL was waiting for him to de-"
pleaded the editor.
"And while waiting you wound his
Last Hours around the gas burner, and
here Is Peter Brands Repentance stuff
ed into your slipper. Be warned, sinner!
will give you Hell considered in its
relation to the unregenerate, and she
took the tract from her satchel.
"Yes, ma'am," said the editor, meekly.
"And | expect to find you immersed In
il when return"
"Shall give you Complete Rest al
sop
"Yes, yes" clamored the editor. "Give
us that as soon as you can. That's what
I want most"
"Well, / haven't got it, / find; but
here's the wall of the Abandoned
Ever read that?"
me-s0mething about JOnahw
asked the editor, timidly.
at is nOtp' emphasized the lady, more
stonily than ever. "Read 1t, and at the
same time let me give you Yourself in
the Realms of the Lost Profit by them
young man, for l shall see you again."
And the stony lady marched out.
aClunoy ooid tho MANAGING QdifOr