Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1881-03-09


girl has fits, and you know you are
little too friendly to her, and | have
heart disease, and if either of VI
should drop off suddenly-don't gil
the poison, Jonathan. Kill him in the
good old way"
Thus were the minor cases disposed
of, but there were some darEly sus'
picious ones that it was thought best
to investigate without the knowledge
of the party. There was Podgees
who had a suspicious habit of getting
up early and disappearing in a mys-
terious manner. Mrs. Podgees could
not explain it, she also had her doubts.
She said he gave various reasons for
his early rising,--one morning he would
hear rats in the barn, another morn
ing it would be some disturbance
among the chickens, and Podgrees
would say: "he'd bet that was an
owl or fox" At another time he
would rise early to 60 fishing, and
thus it was. His reasons seemed
plausible enough, had it not been that
some of the committee knew Pod
gees so well, and the others knew
themselves so well that there seemed
to be splendid opportunity to dis
cover something. The first night he
was watched, he went into the corn
field and disappeared and the trail
was lost. The next night he was seen
to go into the barn and the commit
tee quietly surrounded it and waited
for him to come out, until recon-
noisance proved that he had gone out
through the rear door of the barn be-
fore the picket line had formed But
the next night they had him. They
tracked him nicely to his destination,
and the early rising Of Podgees was
explained. 1t was perfectly plain to
every man on the committee. He
had actually lodged in at the door of
the widow Bobllin's, and there he was
sitting down by the light OF tallow
candle. Widow Bobkins used tallow
candles, they didn't have to he turned
low, they always turned themselves
low, if not snuffed, and then you
could tell fortunes by the wick, and
when there was letter in the candle
and all that, so they were the kind
she used, and there sat Podgees by
the light Of one of them holding the
soft, little hand of the widow and
tickling her left ear with his mustache
The committee could see him through
the key hole, and through split in
the curtain, and crack in the wealth
er board, and these three points of
observation, like opera boxes, COM
manded high prices.
The committee at once prepared
for action. They sent for an old,
double barrelled shot gun and each of
them contributed material for loading
it. One dropped in pencil, another
a watch key, another tooth pick,
and finished up with some salt they
found on the kitchen window.
"Now, Tompkins," said the chair
man Of the committee, wet him have
one barrel through the broken pane
of glass and give him the other when
he comes out at the door, but be care
full of the widow, as have an en-
gagement to take her to church next
Sunday night"
1t was easy enough to draw bead
on Podgees, but he kept squeezing
the widows hand and squirming
around, and besides, Tompkins wanted
to give him shot in the rear, but the
golden opportunity came when the
widow arose to get some marmalade
and Podgees turned around and sat
by the table where the supper dishes
still remained.
There was o snap and puff, and a
bang as Tompkins pulled the trigger,
and through the smoke Podgees could
be seen going up to the ceiling
There was a crash of the table and
the dishes as Podgees came down and
lit on it; there was a scream and a
yell, the scream was the widows, the
yell was Enthusiastically Podgees.-
Great Scott how they lifted him, Ju-
Illus Caesar how he jumped, and Mark
Anthony how he ran. AS he went
through the kitchen door Tompkins
pulled the other trigger, and then he