Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1881-05-26

While the proprietor of the Maison
Doree, New York, was standing behind the
counter the other day, catching flies fol
currant cake, and wishing that a little OF
the business wave that the Eastern papers
say 80 much about would slop over into his
restaurant, as it were, young man, with
beaming smile on his face and big box
under his arm entered.
Don't want any sleeve-buttons, nor
nothIn'," growled the dyspepsia distributor,
glancing at the box.
''No nor l." said the stranger, affably,
deposiIing the box on the counter, and re-
moving the lid. FfBut what you do want
is the greatest invention of recorded time
the restaurant keepers friend-the board
ing house keepers salvation!"
''Roach poison?" said the steak stretcher
contemptuously.
''No, Sir" retorted the young man, TAX
ing handful of singularly- shaped objects
out Of :he box. something that beats the
phonograph and the telephone all hollow.
refer to the 'Skdmore chopl"
"What's that"
"Why, it's the most economical device
of modern times, and I'll prove 1t right
here. Suppose you are serving dinner TO
say a dozen peIsons2 Now, how many
chops do you usually put on the tablet"
'Well, about two apiece. say twelve"
And how many are eaten ?"
"Huml about four"
"Exactly-that is about the average, as
our restaurant statistics show. AS mat
ter of course, however, you are compelled
10 cook three times as much as you need to
make show. Now, if you could save six
chops every dinner for year 1t would
amount to"
"A fortune" said the man of outlets ca
gerly. "All we can do with 'em now Is to
work 'em over into hashes."
Peace to your hashes," said the agent;
''all this ruinous waste is now prevented
by the introduction of some dish of the
patent SkidmMe understandable Rubber
Chop, put up in packages of one dozen,
and warranted for five years, and the
feOd economlzer exhibited some life like
limitations of cooked mutton chops.
Looks like good scheme" said the
conductor OF stews, thoughtfully; ''but
don't the customer ever"
''Ever tumble? Not In the least He
only notices that one chop Ia tougher than
the other, ano finally get his fork in and
chews ahead. The smaller ones come
higher, as they are made of a little more
timber article of rubber, for lamb chops.
Can't be told from the genuine by the
naked eye. All you have to do is to grease
'em on both sides, warm 'em up little,
and serve them mixed in with the others
same as usual.
Seems like they are about as tender as
the regulation kind, " said the restauranter,
iabbing one with fork. Don't they
ever get eaten by mistakel"
''No-no-that is, not now. We did
lose few that way when introduced, but
now that we make The material toughers it
don't happen any more unless they will
swallow them whole. Why, here's specl-
men that's been in use in q Chicago eating
saloon there tor years, night and day, and
you can't see the first tooth print IN it yet.
''Ihat settles it, said the restauraEter,
I'll take gross.
II thought you would" said the chop
agent, as he TOOK down the order and en-
phaucally declined an invitation for some
lunch. 81 Will drop around in few days
and show you samples of some SOFT, white
rubber Holsters we are getting up espec-
tally for the country trade-maKe the best
article Of indestructible salad ever known,
and he shouldered his box and walked off
in the direction of Baldwin's Hotel.