The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1881-06-24
ALLEGED HiTs OF WIT.
A man at Long Branch calls . acucumber !
summer bologna Il eslfasI lttsJ i&E8a93

/ A man at Long Branch calls acucnmber q
summer bologna I sssllaI ittls3 ia19a93
/ A countrynian had the Sub Treasury build
ing polluted out to him as d bonded ware
house. Hhe ss.s34 ssi4at s44} ~ 't5ss*t5#s
An Arkansas man had seven buckshot
taken from bis head and remarked that quite
q load was OF his mind. s
Inquirer-The quickest motion known 10
science Is that of q man who has put his hand
on a hornet. Bostoa Post. W f...- -a.t.,ar
Inquiring DuEe, asks: What "kind OF
liquor will a man get drunk on quickest?"
The kind he can get hold of first.---Detroit
Considsrate Fasher--s You should eat
Graham bread, my son; 1t makes bone"
Responsive yoush, "H'm, I'm bout all
bones now" 4sE40 ans@ a#s @5n zsg aEi
A student at Oxford University on being
asked ."Who was Esau?" replied: "Esa,l
was q man who w'o;e fables, and sold his
copyright for a mess Of potash. College
Journal. 'a-.' Ns-@ ''s''.-'' .'' ''..5.'' '.' ''
An old angler says that a fish does not suf-
fer much pain from being hooked. Of
course not. 1t is the thought of how his
weight will be lied about that causes his
ang gIish. -.r 49,.
Since the Senate adjourned, Mr.. alfeld
waDders about at night watching the cat
fights on the area fences. 1t Is so comfort
ing, he says. 1t seems as though Congress
were still in session. ..... sr ..gfan ,s..,,.,l.
Morse, who invented the telegraph, and
Cell, the inventor of the telephone, each had
a deaf-mute wife. Little comment Is neces-
sary, but just see what a man can accomplish
when everything is quiet.--Lo,eell Citizen.
She was decorating her room with pic
lures, and she perched his photo up on the
topmost nail then she sat down to admire
her wotk, aud remarked quietly, "Now
everything is lovely, and the goose bangs
hight" s'@ '"'.5s"I @.|' ""' 1919 *'@
,"The new Texas Capitol will cost mil
lien and half dollas, aud will be built by
a Detroit architect" says The Newburypoi
Herald. From This we inter that the esti-
mate of cost made by the architect IS about
$75, ,OOO.-Eoston Post. .t,., a..,a.,,,-t
- Miss Cools sharp-pointed icicla: Mr.. Gush
"Oh, what ecstatic musicl 1t would make q
ssick dalcen'a Miss Cool, with great demuie-
ness: "Won't you t'y turn, Mr.. Gush ~
And yet Gush didn't see 1t, and said
"Chawmed, I'm srre.'--London Punch. 3.
"A good looking old German. with long
hair, sat down. or rather up, in The baeber's
chair, ard was asked whether he woa'd have
his hair sbineled. He replied: "Mein Eott
no! I want some bair koot of. w, woot you
pot yum shiagles on It because? pr Hartford
Times. 7f}'# TIL $.-5@@'tI "'.'3 .5'5''" s@a-'
A clergyman was travelling through the
Humboldt mountains with an old miner
Said the miner, q DO you really believe thai
God made the world in. six daysan 90
course do" "Well, don't YOU think" re
turned the miner, "that he might have put
In one more day to advantage right arounG
D
here?'' sj aa4ara4-tst .r.As HlaHs E
Condensed Temperance sermon: 81 JUS
went out to see friend for q moment" re
marked Jones to his wife the other evening
as he returned to his seat at the theatre. AIN
deed" replied Mrs. J.,with sarca tic surprise
IL supposed from the odor Of your breati
that you had been out to see your worst enc
my" Jones WINGED. .--Boston Posi-. 's1..
"How dc you like Austin ?'t asked gen
tleman of old Uncle Nose. "Ilikes de towr
fusrate, but ! feel sorry for de folks, dey is 81
pore. Yesterday | wanted 10 get change fo
five-doilar bill. Iput my hand in my peck
ct, and hunted eber so long, and ain't fourt
it yet. ! nebber seed town whar it was 81
hard to git change foah fve-dollar bill."--
Austin Stiings. bEag is t.g8 agE Y=tE 90
'You must admit, Jim Webster, that yos
stole those pulleisn said the Galveston judge
to the cnlprit. "Jedge," responded Jim
~ don't really believe stole dem chickens
In de fust place, Jedge, nobody saw me TAXI
'em. In de next place they could not b,
found on my premises, because had dom
bid dem chickens under de floor. II cam
help beheyin, Jedge, dat is innocent As
lamb at3 yd lteg5tftytg agajaa14 sB} tsd