The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1881-03-03
A Terrible Combat-Two Old Physi.
cians Eight Like Cats.

1cFTlUle COMUAU@l NO UIu IHlSls
clans Fight Like Cats.
The other night Drs. Snort and Bill
kins, two of the oldest physicians in the
country, met at hotel in Cleveland. They
were on a journey and their meeting was
accidental.
e".We must occupy the same room," in
sisted Dr. Snort. ut has been SO long
since met an old-time doctor that the
occasion shall retain pleasant memories" "
Nothing would give me greater pleas
ure,n answered DR.. Bilkins. It's pleas
ant to meet a genuine physician
The two old men were shown to a
room, where,s with bright fire, they built
an addition to an acquaintance begun
when Ohio was not regarded as the
great State of Presidential production.
"There are great many tricks in the
medical profession now" said DR.. Snort !;
"these upstart doctors are killing the
people off at q shameful rate"
lit wasn't so in our day." replied Dr..
Bilkin's; "a boy nineteen years of age
wasn't engaged as family physician
then"
"No; nor there wasn't that jealousy ex-
listing between doctors that you find
now. It's all right to talk about
enterprise and young blood, but a doctor
should not be too enterprising."
After talking until the fire had burned
out, the two friends retired. Speaking
about young DOCTORS" said DR.. Snort, 81
have always held that the best physician
is he who has the age. Itis all practice
any way, and 1 believe that a fifty-year
old doctor is more reliable thar one
lorty-fve years old"
"Yes," said Bilkins, "but after they pass
fifty it dosen't make much difference"
"Yes, it does. A 6fty.fve year.old
doctor is naturally more reliable than
one fifty years old"
Nov, here,n, said -Bilkins, s,~"You-say
that just because I am fifty and you are
about fifty-fve."
mo, I didn't think of the difference
in our ages. HoTeyer, in our case it is
"Don;ttry to.esraiwl oas of it, Doctor,
for you meant it as an insinuation. You
can't pull wool over my eyes, for I can
doctor the life out of you any time."
"No doubt of it. sLet's.go to Sleep
&"Sleep theideuce,"" aid4Bilkins, tnrn.
ing over. t'.Ssir man up and then tell
him to 60 to sleep! I want you TO un-
derstand that stand higher as a physi-
clan than you do" e,r
.eNo use to talk that way when you
know that. I can doctor the socks of
you"
"That,s the trouble. You can doctor
the socks off anybody. I suppose you
are not aware that Busley tells it all
around the neighborhood that you killed
his wife,"
"See here" snarled Snort, ''you are
getting too internal insolent for an old
man. :Ineverintendedto say anything
about it, butI know one thing concerning
your medical career that is blot on the
profession. You poisoned Glaxton's
child out of pure ignorance
ssYoI are rheumatic osdliar," exclaim-
ed, Bilkins, ispringing up. "You are a
wheeling old scoundrel."
"You old carrion crow" yelled Snort,
81 wouldn't take that from my father"
"Take your hands of. I'll punch the
life out of you. Take that" howled
Bilkins, as be struck the wall with his
fist.
Then they grapplcd and began a
mouth-to-mouth engagement. They rolled
out of bed, got up, braced, grappled and
fell again. Finally the night porter
broke open the. door. rushed in
and lit the gas. DR.. Snort stood in one
corner of the room, ho1ding.a chair. Dr..
Bilkins stood on the bed with a boot in
his hand.
"Driye that madman- out,"- exclaimed
Snort. "He has been trying to murder
me-"
"He is is an old liar" vociteratedi Bill.
kins; "he tried toSpoison me: Shoot
him. Call the police and let them kill
F!him."
Severalnen, disturbed by the noise,
entered the room, and the two old friends
were compelled to occupy different apart.
ments. The affair has created a profound
sensation, aud warrants of arrest have
been issuedfor the old.time physicians
Cleveland Leader.