The Portland daily press., 1881-04-06
Mans Caprice.
AS Displayed in the Choice of Wife.
IN. Y. Times,l


1t isoften said that many man is very fond
OF women whom he is unwilling to marry The
saying is partially true, though no truer than
It's converse-that many man is willing to
marry woman of whom he is not very foad.
or, indeed not fond at all. The idea indicated
is that man may enjoy the society of woman
and love to firt with her, and yet be afraid
from prudential reasons to make her his wife
This frequently happens, but far less frequeut-
ly than might be thought; aud when it hap
pens, the man is cautious and inclined to re-
fleet on the subject of his affections and afiui-
ties But marriage generally has little to do
with reason-probably because it ought to have
so much to do with it-being determined for
The most part by instinct, impulse passion AS
rule, doubtless, man will marry any woman
with whom he is thrown in contact when there
is no great disparity OF years or circumstances
between them, and when she knows how to
humor his egotsm.
The old-fashioned notion that men look with
totally different eye on a woman when they
want wife from what they Look on women
generally, cannot be sustained. Albeit there
are men ever in quest of connubial partner,
the mass of them get such partner without
searching for her They are very apt to be
surprised into matrimony, or, at least, into
matrimonial intents-provided, of course, that
the matter be not taken out Of their hands by
the woman herself. No man is SO likely to be-
come engaged as he who is persuaded that he
Will never be. He is so prepared on one side
for circumstances of certain kind that he is
wholly unguarded on the other side for circum-
stances of an opposite kind. AT the very mo-
ment that he is confident of everlasting ceiba.
cy, that he is rejoicing over his freedom, sud-
den shift liz q sentimental environment, a
word, blush, tear, a caress, decides his
doom.
what kind OF woman is a man most likely
to marry? A general answer might be, any
kind of a woman, the kind being largely de-
termined by contiguity and opportunity A
popular notion is that she who is prudent, con-
ventional and domestic has the best coniugal
prospects; while she who is in6screet, obedent
to impulse and fond of pleasure has the worst
prospects Ancient spinsters, noted for prim-
ness, and matrons of the solemn order incline
to tell light-hearted, rollicking girls that they
are throwing away good chances; that marry-
ing men are deferred by their giddiness from
serious consideration of the main subicct
These are drawn, it is asserted, to Industrious
demure, unworldly maidens, who show at a
glance that they are matrimonially foreor-
dained. AS theory this may be specious but
facts do not bear it out-the contrary, rather.
Men prone to cooperative housekeeping ap-
prove OF the industrious, demure, unworldiy
creatures; they think they would make excel
lent wives, and wonder why some other man
does not marry them. But they seldom marry
such women themselves. --4s
! Why don't they? They could not tell il they
should try. They know, however, that they
don't, and that they don't want to. There
seem to be two sorts of girls-those that ought
because specially tit, to be married, and never
are married. and those that never should and
never will be, and yet invariably get married.
The former are usually the demure, indnstri-
GUS, unworldly, domestic; the latter are the
easy, careless, merry, lmpudent, frolicsome,
saucy girls, OF whom men become enamoured
for no reason at all, and in spite of themselves
When man falls in love and can't climb out
readily, he avails himself of marriage and is
often extrcated thereby without intending it.
He is no more logical in marriage than in celib-
acy; the same thing that makes him lover
turns him into a husband, and he is thrice
blessed if he does not discover sharp and
sudden difference between the two. 1t is pas
sion, not reason, and is called the divine pas-
sion, because it is SO thoroughly human
Men generally like one kind of woman and
love another kind. The one kind they are
commonly recommended to wed, and don't;
the other kind they are advised not to wed and
cause you like her, or to take a wife because
you love her, Hymen alone knows, and he
won't tell. Ii you do either or neither, you
may repent. There Is no absolute safety in
wedlock or out of it. No mans experience is
good for another man, and our own experience
in erotic affairs is rarely valuable; for every
time man falls in love-and he has great al
acrity in this way-the accident varies, though
the effect is unaltered. No man can say what
sort of woman will be his wife; and il he be
wise he won't express any opinion on the sub
Ject He may cherish many views and have
many beliefs thereupon, but the more of these
he has the less likely are they to be confirmed
He who insists, in his bachelor days, that his
wife shall be beauty, is apt to find her plain.
He who cannot endure woman without in
tellect, SurrenderS to one never suspected of it,
The devote of order finds himself mated with
the embodiment OF confusion. The stcker
for elegance sees, when the glamour of court
ship has been removed, THAI he is Joined to a
dowdy. -at = fy.-.II 80. IN 80
Marriage goes, to certain extent, by con-
trasts, if not by contraries. A woman, still
her fancy. Her connubial ideas are commonly
regulated by her age and experience. The
man she desires at 16 or II would be burden
at 20 and her ideal at 20 might prove bore at
%. She begins with sentimentalism and ends
with soberness; vanity impels her first, but
sympathy holds her last She is frequently
surprised at the offers she receives, and still
more surprised at the offers she does not re-
ceiNe: Ine love tuat comes at nrSt sight rarely
remains; it is apt to be born of the eye not Of
the temperament. The love that grows gem
orally endures and produces fruit Love and
marriage are not related as we think they
should be. Love matches often turn out iii,
and matches without love turn out WELL No
one can tell what love is; nor can anyone
guess what marriage will bring We are all,
when young, full of thoughts and theories
about both, and individual experience is ever
contradicting what we have learned. Mar
Uncomfortable 7 EaW nf
are prepared for their q closures. We NAV
love and marry again and again; but our ideal
OF love or marriage is almost always wholly
unlike the thing itself.