The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1881-04-28

when Uncle Robert summoned him.
/ hid behind the door as he passed
through the room, so that he would
not see me eavesdropping.
By this time the enumeration felt
that he must say something to Aunt
Tab, whe was still waiting to tell her
age. Said he,
81 shall not get many names here,
I suppose. I believe / understood
you have no children
ssForty three" repeated Aunt Tab,
looking as relieved as she felt; not
now. at least, could it be said that
she had refused to answer questions
about her age.
She had been SO possessed with one
idea that she had not heard a word
addressed to her, and now she COM
placently resumed her rocking and
sewing, Notwithstanding his blank
amazement, until Uncle Rob laughed
and snorted so that he surely had
choked himself to death if Jim had
not pounded him on the back, nearly
killing himself with laughing at the
same time.
AS for me, I was so diverted by the
whole scene that I rushed out on the
porch where l might giggle as much
as pleased without being overheard !;
SO I do not know how they settled the
matter. By and by [ heard my name
mentioned. They were explaining
that ! was their niece, visiting them,
and they did not know how old I was
exactly, and Jim said.-
"Aunt Tab, how old is Kate, any
way e.
''Oh, she she must be twenty-six or
seven, at least said Aunt Tab. 81
don't know exactly, but she's an old
maid this long time-I know that
Yes" said Jim, :'she's an old maid
she's an old maid. Ha! ha!' and
he waltzed and capered out Of the
room, still singing, She's an old
maid! She's an old maid!
Jim is very near thirty himself, if
you care to examine the record.
[ was SO angry that I did not know
what I could do to revenge myself on
the great BOBBY. Icould forgive Aunt
Tab, for knew her spite about ages.
At twenty-three, ought to have had
more strength of mind than to allow
such a circumstance to annoy me
but the more l thought, the. angrier
I became.
remembered with great satisfac.
tion that had never been very friend
ly to Jim, never speaking to him I'M
less it was a mere answer to his greet
ing, OF acknowledgment of gifts of
flowers.
Ibid not care so much for being called
an old maid, for I expected to be one.
l could have forgiven his words; but
the expression Of his face, or the
manner OF his exit never! [ made up
my mind to go home the first time
they had time to take me to the
depot.
After this l felt better; 50 I went
back to my original position. AS I
had taken care not to answer any
calls for Katie. they had left me, and
were at work at the farm schedules
The gentleman asked Uncle Rob
how much his farming implements
were worth. Uncle seemed to have
an idea that strangers were little
deaf, for he always talked at ':the
top of his voice. though in general
his tone was rather low. So now he
began to yell.
"Well, Ill just tell you; my farm
ing instruments are poor, very poor,
not worth much.''
This was his regulation answer to
assessors, and now he went on to
depreciate the value of his property
to such an extent that he could not
tell that anything was worth anything.
In vain did the census taker say
again and again.
well, if you do not know how
much they are worth, make an esti-
mate of some kind. Lump them alto
gether, and make an estimate g..
"Well, indeed,'' said Uncle Rob,
g If l could do it I would willingly;
but if was to be hung this minute,
I couldn't tell.'' "
And so it was with the cattle, the
horses, the corn.
"Why," said he 'sif was to have a
stack of Bibles as high as could
reach I couldn't tell how much corn
we raised. I fed it all, and did not
sell any. How can I tell how much
there was of it when the critters ate
it all up?''
The poor enumerator tapped his
pen on his book, scratched his head,
and finally bowed his head on his hand
in silent despair, after a last terrible
but vain effort to keep Uncle Robert
on one subject long enough to tell
him, in a sensible way, at what sum
his land had-been appraised, which, as
a matter of course, he :'did not know
had known at the time but his land
was not of the best, and of course had
not been appraised high, etc., etc.
1 was disguised, amused and aston
ished all in breath at the amount of
neighborhood news, past events,
trials, troubles and fluctuations. nee
essary to be accounted and comment
ed upon in order to get at a few items
connected with farm of less than a
hundred acres. l suppose the gentle
man thought it was rare joke to sit
on the doorstep and ask Aunt Tab
her age, but she was amply avenged
by Uncle Robert. who worried the
poor man nearly to death before he
found himself at liberty to depart at
last.