The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1881-02-26
WIT AND HUMoR.

A boy recently hanged himself be
cause somebody found fault with him u
That boy was certainly not born TO be
an editor.
Western lawyer included in his bill
against his client: ITO waking up il
e."
1t is odd and something melanchol,
ID see a man trying to make up hi,
mind when he has no material OF
hand to work with.
There is something terrible in the ex
preston of a cross-eyed barber when ht
takes a customer by the nose and hold
bright new razor over his throat.
An editor in Iowa has become so hol
low from depending on the printing
business for bread that he proposes to
sell himself for a stove-pipe.
1t is bad enough to have dog days
but II Is almost too much for good nat
ure to be afflicted alse with a nights
Nep York Commercial Advertiser.
Ada Gagged ~, who was doing some
thing, and was told to desist by hel
mother. Mother-"Ada, am l to speah
TO you again?" Ada-.Yes, ma, yos
may, if you like"
An old widower says, when you pop
the question to a lady, do it with a kline
OF laugh, as if you were joking. II she
accepts you. very good; If she does not
you can say you were only in fun.
An elderly resident of Newtown wal
approached by an agent for a cyclope,
dia. Il guess | won't get one" saia
the elderly resident, and frankly added,
Il know l never could learn TO ride n
Of the pesky things"
A very good hit was made the other
day by one of the defeated candidates
1T a primary election. A gentleman
approached him with, .'Well,s' said he,
Il feel pretty much like Lazarus did,
'.As Lazarus didP" why yes" said
he; Lazarus was licked by dogs, and
20 was l."
A new clerk in a drugstore was dis
charged the other day because he didn';
lnow how to look wise, roll his eyes,
ind say "s~eventy-five cents without
turning red in the face as he handed
out a little powder hat had cost the
concern two cents and a fraction
Emotion and business don't Jingle.
They were sitting together Sunday
evening, with an album or two between
them, when she pleasantly asked;
''How would you like to have my moth
or live with your" In Just fifteen Sec
onds he had his hat halfway down
over his face and was boiling through
the gate.
Think shudderingly means a Pa
ciic coast paper, .'of joining heart and
soul in a hallelujah chorus with an anti
quated bonnet six months old! There
is something shocking in the very sug-
gestion." Isn't it sad that in all the
prophecies there is no statement tina.
new robes will be furnished to tho
angels every day or two?
A nan who was born on the 29th Of
February, said he was born forty-nine
years ago, but had a birthday only once
in four years. He was asked what he
did the other three years, and said he
proved an alibi. He must have been
the mar who. on being accosted by q
stranger, that said, 1--WE seen you be-
fore" replied. mo, 1 think not, for l
TIM always somewhere else"
Not long ago an Irishman applied to
en- overseer in a Tyne shipyard to be
put on q job. He was informed that
Lis request could not be complied with;
but as Pat continued to gaze at an an
Choir which was lying in tho vicinity
the foreman repeated his reply that
there was no work for him and advised
him to 60 away. .'Divil a bit will I
stir. sorr, till l see the man that's going
u use that pickr'
An English Vicar vas standing on q
Monday morning. at his gate, when n
of his %parishioners arrived with a bas-
Eet of potatoes. What's this?" said
tho Vicar. please. SIR" replied the
nan. Tits some of our very best taturs
very rare kind. sir. My wife said
you should have some of them. as she
hoard " say In the sermon that COM
mon tatu' didn't agree with you"