National Republican. (Washington City (D.C.)) 1872-1888, 1881-03-23
A RENz,NE STORY,
A Health Office Clerk Made the victin,
OF a Practical Joke.

If any one wants to hear litter OF
| genuine healthy laughter, which, by the way, IS
one of the best sanitary agents yet discovered lei
him put his head into the door of the Health once
| on Four a-half street and yell "beIziiie.
The story runs in this wise: Not many years ago
in fact less than forty eight hours ago-one OF tne
| handsome and guileleSS clerks under the Health
Officer came into the Office fresh from the
BARRIERS chair, with his hair shining and redolent
| with perfilned grease which had been bestowed
| with the Hberality for which Washington BARRIERS
are noted. 1t happened that fellow-clerk had
been cleaning numbering stamp with benzine,
| and the room, was filed with the pungent odors of
| the fluid. When the powdered and perfumed clerk
came in turned his back and spread his coat-taiis
before the fire. wicked spirit seemed to seize bold
of all his colleagues at the same time. One OF
them, approaching the redolent gentleman, shifted
around him, and remarked:
Look here, Dick what have you got about you
| that smells 500"
Nothing replied the bland Dick, explaining
that he had Just been to the barber shop:
"Why, 1 declare" said another, the barber has
rubbed your hair with benzine by mistake
That's so" chimed in another, taking long
Whit of the oleomargarine dressing on DICKS top
knot, can't you smell it?'
Just then one of the clerks held the bottle OF
benzine behind Dick, where he couldn't see 1t,
organ.
by Joye. do smell it," roared Dick, in tone
of great alarm.
Rushing out of the room and upstairs he sub
mitted his head to the nasal inspection of the at
taches on the upper floor, and they only confirmed
hiS;conyiction that the barber had made terrible
mistake.
al have been shaving at that barber-shop for
three years" exclaimed Dick, and that rascal of
IN1-T harnr
The employees gathered about poor Dick, ex-
pressed their deep sympathy, land suggested that
by prompt action ne might save enough of his
hair to make respectable appearance. Dick, in
e rage, tore away from his comniserating friends
and rushed breathleSsiy TO the barber-shop.
scene of indescribable confusion and terror en-
sued in that barber-shop 1t is said that one
man, who was half lathered, was so frightened
by the sudden appearance of the furious
Dick, and SO startled by his explosive profanity.
that he fled precipitately from the shop and has
not yet returned for his hat and coat. None who
have not witnessed it can know the awful rage of
man who thinks barber has put benzine on his
hair, The very shaving cups danced on their
shelves as Dick ripped out terrible denunciation
upon the head Of the Nihilist barber who had
plotted against his life. When the storm
had partially passed over, the barber learned
that Dick complained of having had ben
zine used on his head instead Of oil.
"Benzine!" exclaimed the barber hunbly al
haven't a drop Of benzine in the shop. Here's the
oil bottle that was used, and there is nothing
wrong about 1t. Smell it,
Dick ebediently took Whit at the muzZle and
his senses were greeted by the same pleasant odor
that had often been mingled with his dreams while
doing in the BARRIERS chair.
Smell of my head, then," exclaimed Dick, a
little puzzled The barber smelled, and declared
that the perfume delicious.
THAT can't be-" remarked Dick, his eyes open
ing with wonder.
The barber called in the brush boy and boot
black from the street. and each in turn applied his
nose to Dicks head and declared that the perfume
was rayishingly sweet.
"By thunder - remarked Dick not boisterously
and impetuously, but slowly and deliberately like
man who has had an idea suddenly developedin
his head. He slowly retraced his steps to the Office
an altered man. He sank into his chair, appa-
rently unmindful of the uproarious laughter that
shook the building, but really down in his heart
nursing bitter, reyengeful feeling. He says he
will get even. Meanwhile, as remarked before, if
one wants to hear good, hearty guffaw, let him
yell benzine" through the door of the health Of
fee, but hasten quickly away, to escape a flying
cuspidor or some other missile which might be
hurled by Dick