The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1881-01-14

rsnersne. stalking Through IN. Land

each other on the sidewalk last Monday
morning as they were starting for their
places Of business, and one OF them, a
man who resides on Van Buren, street.
asked the other, jackson street man. il
cows had any front teeth on their upper
jaw. The jackson street man was a
little astonished at the question, as there
had been nothing said about cows, but
he replied promptly:
"Why, Of course they have front teeth
on their upper jaw; how could they bite
of grass if they hadn't?"
The Van Buren, street man said il was
not question of logic, but n question
of fact; and if the Jackson street man
did not know whether cows had front
teeth on the upper jaw or not, he ought
| to say so. 81 did not ask for your
opinion" he said, 81 asked if you
| knew"
The Jackson street man was a little
nettled at this and replied with some
warmth. He said If he had q child
three years old who would ask such a
question as that, he should be afraid the
child was an idiot.
You would?"
" certainly should"
"Then," said the Van Buren, street
man, "as it is such simple question, of
course you can tell me whether cows
have got front teeth on their upper laws
or whether they have not"
"Why, of course they have"
"They have, eh?"
eyes"
"I'll bet you $40 they haven't" said
the Van Buren, street citizen, pulling
out roll of bills, and peeling off a
couple OF hves and shaking them at his
neighbor. 'Put up or shut up"
"There is some blame catch about
this thing" said the other, suspiciously;
81 might have known it, too, the minute
you asked me such an idiotic question" ="
"No catch at all about it," replied
the other, If COWS have got front teeth
on their upper jaws the $40 is yours. If
they haven't the money is mine. Moth
ing could be fairer than that, could
there?"
But still the Jackson street man hesi-
tated. 1t was barely possible that cows
did not have any front teeth on their
upper jaws. He remembered. then.
that cows in biting off grass always
threw their noses outward, while horses
nipped it off by jerking their nose in
ward. He was astonished at how near
he had come to being victimized, but he
did not like to come down. The two
were then near the meat market at the
corner of Jackson and Michigan streets,
and the jackson street man was sure
that butcher would know for certain
whether or not cows had front teeth on
their upper jaws; so he pushed open the
door and said to the proprietor:
Linehan, have cows got front teeth
on their upper jaws?'
Llnehan was running skever
through roast of beef, but he stopped
looking up in a3tonishment, and said
What?"
" Have cows got front teeth on their
upper iaws?"
"Cows?"
eyes"
"Got front teeth on their upper
jaws?"
eyes"
"Upon my word don't knowl"
"You don't know
"No. You see buy my beef bv the
quarter at the slaughter house. and don't
have anything to do with the heads.
But can find out for you when | 20
over"
81 wish you would"
So the Jackson street man closed the
door, and rejoined his neighbor and the
two walked along without saving a
word. milk wagon was seen coming
up the street, and it was resolved to hail
the driver and ask him the question, as
it is popularly supposed that milkmen
are more or less familiar with cows. The
Van Buren, street citizen cleared his
throat and yelled, "Hellol" The milk
man reined up and said:
go ahead with your tests. If you
find any water or chalk in that milk I'll
give you the whole of it,
The citizen told him to be calm, as
they had no intention of testing his
milk, but only wanted to know if cows
had front teeth on their upper jaws.
The milkman looked at them about a
minute, and then whipped up his horses
and drove off, mentioning some kind of a
fool that they We're. Up on Wisconsin
street they saw another milkman, de-
livtring milk, and overtaking him they
explained the dispute. He smiled pity
ingly upon their ignorance, and said:
OF coursg cows have front teeth on
their upper jaws-a driveling idiot ought
to know that much. A COW would be a
handsome-looking object without any
front teeth on her upper jaw, wouldn't
she?"
Give concluded to take that bet of
yours" said the Jackson street man to
the other. "Come, now, down with
your dust. Put up or shut up"
"Why didn't you do it, then, when
h.t1 n ehonaao / "a, 4
know whether COW had front teeth on
her upper jaw OF not; l only thought l
had read so somewhere, and / asked to
see If YOU knew about it for certain. But
now that the thing is settled, and there
Is no question about it, the e is nothing
to bet on as can se"
Oh, of course not" said the jackson
street man, sarcastically, "of course
not"
just then Mr.. Clark, of the Newhall
house, happened along, and as the milk
man picked up his lines and drove of,
the Van Buren, street man asked Mr..
Clark if he knew anything about cows.
Mr.. Clark said he did, having formerly
been farmer and q cattle buyer
:" Well" said the Van Buren, streeter,
"do yo know got the queerest idea in
my head this morning, about cows, that
q man ever had. Somehow or other 1
got an idea that cows had no front teeth
on their upper jaw; and 1 actually of
fered to bet ten dollars with this man
that such was the case. don't see
what possessed me-"
"Well, if you had bet you would have
won the money" said Mr.. Clark.
"What' exclaimed both the citizens
together.
81 say if you had bet You would have
won the money, for cows have no front
teeth on their upper jaws"