Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1881-01-06


ScfssOred Items.
Bored OF Education-The reluctant
scheol-boy.
A At place for quay would seem to
Be in loch.
Tanner says this is a nation Of we'll
fed ingrates.
The divercs lawyers favorite fruit
A tart reply.
S,ftening Of the brayin' is rarely
KIN. Va to the mule.
A tramp's motto-"A little earning
10 . dangerous thing.
It's the Gentle thing in Mormondom
to have only one wife.
Coming Ia with the tisd-The police
man with his prisoner.
The grocer's apprentice considers
himself lord of the lies.
Fall poetry-like tho marine interest
lis frozep up till spring.
Rubsnstein's new satire on opera is
called the 'Tower of Babel"
Plymouth Church has come out for
free trade. tits free place.
It does not require pair Of horses to
drag out q mieerabIe existence.
Many persons confound the spirit of
liberty with the liberty Of spirit.
John Kelly realizes that he is no
longer tho controller Of New York.
Some one will be censured in that
canal business for Darien to do right.
If thine enemy revile thee, revile not
again. Present him wit guinea hen.
Even an Irish printer when he goes
to . dance, leaves his stick behind him.
The man who is fond Of a little joke |
is rarely fond of another's joke, little or
big.
Perfumed artificial flowers in cellu-
loid pots are the latest Northern novel |
ties.
Extremes meet. The man with corns
on his feet will quite likely show wry
1Ace.
Beneath the mistletoe an old girl
always stands firm. She's q wet |
eran.
He must be very ugly who finds 1t I
necessary to buy diamonds to win
hearts.
A Cincinnati wife-beater told tho
Judge that 1t was liquor that made him
lick her.
All swell that ends swell-The only
thing to which "swell' is of any use 10 |
an organ.
A word to the wise-If the swearing
OF 10 done at once 1t will save much
headache.
Man 10 surpassed by woman, in that |
he has no feasible way Of fastening his
hair on his head.
Kissing girl on the cheek IL like eat
Ing the skin Of an orange and THROWN
the juicy pulp away.
When the end of the world arrives it
will DO unnecessary to hire man to
move your furniture.
e Il deer hunt for the man who
1p0ilS his clothes and catches pneu- |
Wonia on on HE hunt.
a man without good head Of his
own has no right to put himself at the
head Of great enterprise.
Allowing Bernlardt to be sensible
woman, she must laugh at the fools who
run after her In q social way.
Only he of initiate tact and Of con- '
summate genius can play the part of
husband to . popular actress.
Josh Billings says: "Brware Of the
man who travels on his humility."I
That's new name for pass.
It is not necessary for man to keep
his mug at the barber's shop, but he
must take it there to be shaved.
"There's an impression abroad }" said
the.irate parent, rs he kicked Lis daugh-|
ter's young man out Of tho house.
The girl who was courtsd by spruce
young lawyer said she liked to be pro-
tectsd by the strong arm of the law.
The "Hearts Of Oak" is one of the
most realistic Of dramas, having real
clouds, real transforms and real baby.
A naughty Philadelphia newspaper
says the late marriage Of An Illinois grill
70 negro was case of color blindness.
The gentleman who keeps a large
stable Of horses can have all the groons-
mon he wants when he comes to be
married.