The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1881-03-18
Miscrllanrnus.
For tile 1Egis and Latelligencer.
UNCLE JONATHAN AS A JURYMAN
Ills FIRST APPEARANCE At COURT.

| uncle Jonathan, as you know, is one of
| our quiet sober kind of men, who never goes
from home, except perhaps to funeral or a
vendue, and not often at that. But strange
to say, he was drawn on the jury, and, as
honest men were scarce, he thought the Judge
| had picked him out for that reason to be a
juryman. AS the time was near at hand,
| having promised Ito ease his mind a little, !
| to drive him up to Bel Air, | did so. AS /
called found him just fixing up. Over all
| he had his Old-time Surt0ut and drawing
down his drab broadbrim with his red silk
| handkerchief over his ears, and with his blue
yarn mittens, (after bidding Aunt Kitty good
| bye) off we started for the seat of justice, the
aforesaid town of Bel Air.
Uncle said he had not been there fora long
while-not since the old Log Cabin" times.
After we drove up and looked around little,
says Uncle;
well, well-a-day well, indeed Jonas, is
this Bel Air? To be sure. Sure / see it is the
identical place. Not much larger, | guess,
but more longer, and not much bigger, but
more spread out"
And" says |, Uncle, not much better,
Judge, but little wiser, as the people say"
ION yes! Oh yes! oh yes" shouted the
crier of court at the top of his voice.
POUNDS" says Uncle, Jonas, what on
''Nb
Has he stock to salt or is he stark crazy?"
Not at all, Uncle" said l. at is lust the
oid-time way they have of calling court, and
they stick TO it, else they may have bad luck,
| suppose"
We strolled in at the very time Judge AL
right told the Clerk to call the Jury The
first name called was Franklin Bunting"
esquire Bunting, as you know, who lives at
Glenvale, just about squirrels jump from
the heart of the town0 jonathan Jones'"
Luncle Jonathan, everybody knows Uncle
Jonathan) Here here am ~ Thomas
Ii. Hardy" peter p. Pippin." Solomon
o. Brag, and Il lot of others-all on the Jury.
Judge Alright then told the Clerk to swear
case before them The Clerk told the Jury
to look at the prisoner at the bar, and Just to
try him without Partially or favor according
to law, fact and justice
With this Simon Barrister the States law
yer, got up in very stately manner, and
bowling to the Judge said:
"Gentlemen of the jury, this is bad state
of things We are about to try very des-
perate case-the State against n so.called
Doctor Boneset on some very grave and Sc
rious charges This fellow, Dr. Boneset, as
he calls himself, took it into his head to be q
kind of a doctor. He seemed to have taught
himself what little he does know. After
| practicng awhile and sending about his cele.
brated homemade pills, (Which | will speak
of by -and-byeO he was called to see an old Ia
| dy, who was very sick with the fever. She
was mighty bad-fairly burning up. This
| so-called doctor just read, that very morning,
| (while in great hurry to be off, how to cure
| the fevers. AS soon rs he saw how very bad
| she was, he asked the old man if he had n
sorrel horse. Yes, yes,' he had, but what of
that 2 Well says the doctor, 1T is the very
| thing-sorrel-horse tea never fails in bad cases
| like this You must get some-you must
dispatch him! Bad enough, it is true, but
| far worse for your wife to die. 1t is Just so,
| for have read it, and it is true as preach.
ing gr,,, 49,. -, ~
| head, said; Bad, bad enough! Lack day.
| This is what | call bad luck, indeed-double
| trOuble-worse for the better and more of it. ;
Gentlemen of the jury, place yourselves in
this old mans place and tell you all you
| would hang down your heads, too. Well,
the old man went out and had the old sorrel
killed, and soon the tea was madc-s0rTeLh0,se
tea; and seriously tell you, although she
drank plenty of it the old woman grew worse
and worse, and soon she died. That she did.
And this, gentlemen, is the case.
gentlemen, this said Doctor Boneset is &C.
cused of a great crime-of double crime. 1t
is mdnslaughter and worse than that. He
made n serious mistake. He was grossly ig-
norant-tOok one thing for another in read
ing, and killed that old mans horse, and,
may say, his said wife, too
II have heard of sheep sOrTel and horse soy7el
as an herb, but who ever heard in all their
born days of sO1reL-hOrse tea as medicine
You never did He got the cart before the
horse. 1t was gross ignorance, and you
know, Gentlemen of the Jury, ignorance of
the law is no excuse, and far worse is it in
medicine. One is n simple mstake-the 9TH
er n killing mistake"
At this the Squire, (ns he sat somewhat UNI
easy on the jury said rather loudly 10 Uncle
near by: ut was Il mighty bad mistake in
deed"
"Yes, exactly So" replied Uncle, "and
know what would have done with that fell
low right on the spot-that would, sure"
"Siencc-silence," roared the bailif
Well, after this Barney Buster, getting up,
said he had few words to say for his unfor-
tunate client, after witness or so was exam
ined.
Clerk-"Call up Giles Goslng."
Gosling appears. TEL us, Gosling, what
you know about the case Tell the Jury, did
you know the old man, Squire Luckey, or
rather Squire Unlucky, | might say?'
Exactly So"
did you know his sorrel horse%
Exactly So"
"Well how old was he?"
"Just about the age of my gray mare, Lilac
| and she is old enough to vote-exactly So"