davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1881-09-08
PAYING A SUBSCRIPTION.

A correspondent of the Lagrange Whig
gives the following amusing account Of the
way farmer was taught how cheaply he
could take the papers. The lesson is worth
pondering by good many men we "wot Of
"You have hens at home, Of course. Well,
will send you my paper one year for the
proceeds of a single hen for one season-mere'
ly the proceeds. 1t seems triAing, preposter.
Gus, to imagine the products of single hen
will pay the subscription perhaps it won't
but I make the offer.'
"Done |" exclaimed farmer B; 81
agree to it," and appealed to me as witness
in the affair.
The farmer went away, apparently much
elated with his conquest, and the editor went
on his way rejoicing -
Time rolled around, and the world revolv-
ed on its axis, and the sun moved in its or
bit just as it formerly did, the farmer receiv-
ing his paper regularly, and regaled himself
with the information -. -. Looo-.o
Knew the affairs OF his own country, Dut became
conversant upon the leading topics of the day,
and the political and financial convulsions OF
the times. His children delighted, too, in
perusing the contents of their weekly visitor.
In short, he said, "he was surprised at the
progress Of himself and family in general in.
formation.
Some time in the month of September, |
happened up again in the office, when who
should enter but our old friend farmer B.
"How do you do, Mr." said the edi'
tor, extending his hand, and his counteDance
lit up with bland smile; "tak ke chair,
sir, and be seated; fne-weather we haveY"
"Yes, sir, quite fine, indeed" answered the
farmer, shaking the proffered "paw" of the
editor, and then short silence ensued, dur
ing which our friend B. hitched his chair
backward and forward, twirled his thumbs
abstractedy, and spit profusely. Starting
up quickly, he said, addressing the. editor ::
"Mr. D., have brought you the pro-
ceeds of that hen"
1t was amusing to see the peculiar express
sion of the editor as he followed the farmer
down to the wagon. could hardly keep
my risibles down.
When at the wagon, the farmer commenc'
ed handing over to the editor the products
of the hen, which, on being counted, amount
ed to eighteen pullets worth a shilling each,
number of dozen of eggs, making in the
aggregate, at the least calculation, $3.50, one
dollar more than the price Of the paper.
mo need" said he, "of men not taking
a family newspaper, and paying for it too.
don't miss this from my roost, yet have
paid for years subscription, and dollar
over All folly, sir there is no man but can
take paper it's charity, you know, COM
mences at home"
But" resumed the editor, 81 will pay for
what is over the subscription. I did not in
tend this as a means of profit, but rather to
convince you. l will pay for"
"Not bit of it, sir a bargain is bar
gain, and l am already repaid, sir, doubly
paid, sir. And, whenever neighbor makes
the complaint did, will relate 10 him the
hen story. Good day, gentlemen"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1881-09-08
THE YOUNG LAWYERS FIRST CASE.

The young lawyer conducting his first case
before a jury is worthy of the deepest commits
eration Take him for instance, in the GRIM
inal court, before which he has case. While
the prosecuting attorney is tying the first
witness into bow knots and untying him
again, the amateur sits listening, but endeav-
oring to look as uncoDcerned as marble
statue in a thunder storm. He throws in
timid objections every time he thinks he sees
hole, and as each one is overturned by the
Court he puts on stern look, as much as to
say, "I'll knock the wind out of that in the
Supreme Courtw When the prosecutor, usu-
ally an DID, able attorney dryIy says, "Take
the Witness" the youthful attorney trembles
little and endeavors to swallow something
that is sticking in his throat. He feels that
every eve in the room is upon him and that
they are hot as stove-lids. He fires few
initiatory questions at the witness and warns
as he proceeds until he is brought up standing
by-"Oh! your honor, we object to such ir'
relevant questions" followed by few scathing
remarks from the prosecutor. The Court
sustains the objection, and advises the young
lawyer to keep within the bounds, which sets
him to wondering where the thunder the
bounds are. Objection follows objection, and
each one is promptly sustained. He wonders
why it is that free and independent people
will tolerate such one sided justice. He
lunges ahead blindly now until he becomes So
confused that he does not know whether he
is practicing attorney with gilt sign, or a
hy-wheel of a steam wood saw. Finally he
runs out of questions and with sigh of reliei
or something, tells the witness, "That's all. "
So he grnds through, and at last the prose
cutor rises and proceeds to address the jury
in a mastery style. AS he progresses he
picks up the evidence adduced by the defence
into particles fine enough to be incorporated
into Goldfish balls The youthful Blackstone
wrestler begins to feel uneasy as his mind
reverts to the fact that in few moments he
must deliver his maiden speech. He wishes
the prosecutor would hold his grip and keep
it until time to adjourn court, feeling satisfied
that he could make a splendid speech the
next day after nights fig citing on the ev
dcnce. He tries to remember what the wit
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1881-09-08
Yflistellaueuns &eading.
STORY SF THE MERRIMAC.
Tho Career of the Famous Confederate
IrOnclad.
[Fr m the Philadelphia Times. ]


When the Federals abandoned the navy
yard at Norfolk, in 1861, they set FIRE
to the vessels lying there in ordinary.
Among these was the Merrimac, one of q
class Of vessels which, when they were built,
were considered the finest specimens of naval
architecture afloat. On the occasion in ques-
ton the Merrimac was burnt to the water
line. Her machinery remained intact and
it was determined by the Confederate author
sites to make of what remained of her an
ironical ram that might give some trouble to
the enemy's vessels lying in the waters OF
Virginia. A structure Of oak, slopng like
the roof of q house, was built upon the old
hulk, and this woodwork was covered with
plates of wrought iron two inches thick. The
ends of these plates, where they rested on the
edge of the old hulk, extended about foot
under water. Below that line the vessel was
vulnerable as she had ever been. The rud-
der chains, too, were perfectly unprotected,
lying exposed on the "fantail," or that por.
tion of the hull which extended out abaft the
shield. The wheel was under the forward
part of the shield and the pilot was protected
by huge hollow cone of cast iron, pertora-
ted with holes for him to see through. The
battery of the Merrimac consisted of ten
Dahlgren guus-one 11,inch pointing for
ward, and another pointing aft, and eight g.
inch guns on the side.
THE MERRIMACs CREW.
Our crew was made up in the great meas
ure of green countrymen detailed from the
different volunteer regiments stationed about
Norfolk, but there we're some trained seaman
among them. From the time Of taking them
in hand till the day of going into action, an
interval of about two weeks, we drilled them
necessarily at the guns of the receiving ship
the old frigate United States.
On the forenoon Of the Sth day of March,
1862, the Merrmac, or, as she had been new
ly christened, the Virginia, cast off from the
wharf at the navy yard, started on her trla
trip. We steamed straight for Hampton
Roads. Whatever was the design of oul
captain, Franklin Buchanan, he kept it t'
himself. Years afterward | learned from
Catesby Jones, our executive officer, that ht
had been taken into the Captains confidence
but am quite certain that no one else had
We all thought that we were making an or
dinary trial trip. And yet we were rapidly
approaching the enemy's vessels-the Cum
berIand and Congress frigates-that lay a
anchor off Newport's News. AS midshlp
man had served in both vessels. the Cum
berland, in which had served briefly, being
the first vessel had ever boarded, while th'
Congress had been my floating home for near
| ly three years. How natural they looked
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1881-09-08

read they are pretty badly off here" Now,
God has not only written his laws upon the
trees, but in the stars and in the flowers his
laws are above and beneath, on our right hand
and on our left, and if man is not able to
read, he is "pretty badly off here"-worse off
than the dog, for the dog has master to read
for him; but man has no master between
him and his God. The consequence is, he
is trapped by cunning at every corner.
Heis taken in and done for by the spring
gun duplcity and the man-traps of ungodli:
ness, and all he can do is to founder and
bear. He is even worse off than the wicked,
for they may hope, but for the ignorant man
there is no hope. He is sentenced to hard
labor for the term of his natural life, and all
the pardoning power in the world cannot
prevent it.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1881-09-08

ness swore to, but cannot recall the evidence
to save his life. The prosecutor finally winds
up with grand peroration, and as he says:
"And in conclusion, gentlemen of the jury
the youth nervously fingers his mustache, if
he happens to have one about him, and wishes
he had never begun the abominable business.
Cold chils are lingering him all over the
back as if measuring him for a new shirt,
and his spinal column acts like it was tired
and wanted to sit down awhile. Like Ban.
quo's ghost, the lump in his throat won't down
by an obstinate majority, and he swallows
at it and wonders what he is going TO say and
how long it will take him to say it. As the
prosecutor calmly takes his seat, the young
lawyer rises and moyes to the front. He
dare not look at the audience, and tries to
imagine there is no one in the room but him
self and the twelve sphynx.like forms in the
jury box. The eyes of each Juror are fixed
upon him, and he would almost relinquish his
hope Of heaven if some one would raise cry
of fire to divert their attention until he gets
a start Finally he shrugs his shoulders and
manages to remark, "Gentlemen of the (swal.
lows) jury" Very good. He then surveys
them moment, and every man in the box
thinks he is endeavoring to read their thoughts;
but he isn't. He is wishing to gracious he
could read his own thoughts At last he
strikes and goes for them about their intel
ligent looks, and now he feels that his clients
interests are safe in their hands. At the
same time he feels serious doubts as to their
safety in his own hands. He worries through
his speech with an average of two swallows
at that lump to the sentence. The prosecutor
closes the argument and the case goes to the
jury, who retire to secluded room to chew
tobacco and ask each other what they thought
Of it. 1t SO happened that the fmsy testi'
mony against The accused warrants verdict
of not guilty, whereupon the amateur grasps
his clients hand, and whispers, "it was hard
fight, but l got you out of it!' Then he rises,
loads up enough law books to swamp mud.
scow, casts triumphant look at the prose
cutting attorney, who smiles pleasantly in re-
turn, and walks slowly and majestically down
the aisle to the door with as much dignity as
if he owned western railroad. Oh, you
can't deny it, even you old veterans-you've
all been there Quincy, (M.,) ArgO.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1881-09-08

DoNr MARRY FOR MoNEY.-Uncle Pleas
ant Batkins is so and his wife 72. The other
day friend said "Uncle Pleasant, why in
the mischief did you marry a woman old
enough to be your mother ?" "You see, boy"
he replied with a sigh, Il was wurkin' for
Long John Freeman, in Hanover. when |
was Jest 1S, and Sarah Ann Russ, old Mrs.
Russes only daughter, was 80 if she wur
day. At every quiltin' she used to chuse me
fur her partner, and everybody said it ap-
peared like she wur courtin' me. She GIN.
me four pair cotton socks and heap of
things, but still 1 didn't have no notion of
her. Well, one Christmas eve went to the
old woman's and l had hardly sot down be.
fore Sarah Ann brought me some sweet per-
tato pie, which she knowed I was monstrous
fond of. While I was eatin' it heard the
old woman up stairs a countin'' silver dollars:
Now, thar was no plaster to the sealin' and
the up stair floor had cracks in it as wide as
my finger. So, you see, I could hear the
jingle of the money jest as we'll as if l had
been up thar myself When she had counted
9O6 drawed up to Sarah Ann and popped
the question. In course she said she'd have
me, and the next Thursday we was married.
Now, what do you think found out the next
day Why, that the old woman didn't have
but thirty Mexican dollars, and that she
counted 'em over and over jest to fool me.
Don't marry for money, boy, specially for
silver dollars. Richmond Dispatch.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1881-09-08
5DAY, SEPTEMBER 8, 1881.

nut she'll, the whole formula of benevolence.
The first duty is to give-the second is to give
according to your ability-and the third,
which is equal to all, is to give willingly.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1881-09-08

HENRY CLAY FOND OF WHIsT.-Henry
Claws favorite recreation, for many years,
was a game of whist, to which at one time he
was passionately addicted not for the stakes,
but for the distraction and excitement of the
game. Mr.. Winthrop says that there is
tradition that while Clay was visiting Boston
in 1918, and lodging at the Old Exchange
Coffee House, on Congress street, servant
rushed into the parlor in which he was at the
whist table with few gentlemen of the old
school, and announced that the hotel was on
fire.
"Oh there will be time enough, think" /"
cried Mr. Clay, "to finish the game" and
finish it they did before the hotel was burned
to the ground.
A similar tradition was current in Wash
ington, at later period, that, while Mr.. Clay
was Speaker, he and his friends had passed
whole night at cards, and were still going on
with their game when the hour was close at
hand for the opening of the morning session
of Congress. -.'.
"Wait few minutes, gentlemen" said Mr..
Clay, "and l will wash my face and hands,
and run down to the House and call John
Taylor to the chair, and then will come
back and we will have another rubber"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1881-09-08

s@- The modest man inspired by passion is
more persuasive than the most eloquent man
if uninspired. =
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1881-09-08

IGNORANCE AND Low WAGEs.-What
asses men are to be ignorant, even in finan-
cial point of view A blockhead can get
but six shillings day in any market in the
world; men of intelligence often make as
many dollars. A man who cant write is as
much slave as if he had been born brute.
He is doomed to be newer of wood and q
drawer of water all the days of his life.
Drudge! drudge is all that is in store for
him, should he continue on earth for GEN.
tury. Educate your children, therefore, not
only for their happiness, but their incomes.
Ali can see that wickedness leads to misery ;
vet very few find out that which is equally
certain, that ignorance leads to misery, and
misery to wretchedness. DR.. johnson was
once asked, "Who was the most miserable
man ?" and the reply of the sage was, "Ihe
man who cannot read on a rainy day." The
writer once passing through park, saw nailed
to one of the trees, this warning: Call dogs
found in this park will be shot" A friend
who was with US remarked, "Unless dogs can
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1881-09-08

A Coop NAME.-A good name is above
all price. Have you not found it so, young
man, you whose well-known virtues have
placed you in a position which you occupy
with feelings of commendable pride And
you whose fame has been the target of en-
vious tongues, have you not seen good name
to be the only breastplate that is impervious
to the poisoned shaft of calumny Gold and
talent, what are those without character A
light to render darkness visible; gliding
which by contrast makes the substance the
more revolving?
Cherish it then, al ys xhe possess @ il, gpaEd ae
ty once tarnished, the most unwearying effort
will hardly restore it to its pristine lustre.
Let it attend you through the journey Of life,
crowning your days with peace and happiness.
The rectitude which won it, will engrave up
on your face letter of recommendation to
people of every nation and tongue. And
when the treasure is no longer needful to
you, it shall descend to your posterity, le.
gacy with which millions would not bear to
be compared.
You who are just on the stepping stone to
active life, remember the value of good
name. Be it your constant endeavor to earn
it for yourself, in the only practicable way
by pursuing the path of undertaking integri-
ty. Let all your intercourse with your fellow
creatures be marked by such conduct as you
need not blush to see recorded before the eyes
of the congregated world such as will never
cause any to blush for their connection with
you. A good name is laurel wreath for the
brow of its possessor, but bad name is
swift.footed pestilence to follow with its scath-
ing influence wherever he goes.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1881-09-08

How CONDENSED MILK Is MADE.-The
manufacture Of condensed milk is thus de-
scribed in the Scientific american: When the
milk is brought into the factory it is carefully
strained, placed in cans or pals, which are
put into tank of water kept hot by steam
coils. When hot it is transferred to larger
steam heated open vessels and quickly
brought to boil. This preliminary heating
and boiling has for its object the expulsion
of the gas of the milk, which would cause
it to foam in the vacuum pan, and, also to
add to the keeping quality of the milk by
destroying the mould germs. A second strain
ing follows, after which the milk is transfer
red to vacuum pan, where at a temperature
below 100 fahr., it boils and is rapidly con-
centrated to any degree desired. The vacu-
um pan employed is close vessel of copper,
egg shaped. about six feet high and four and
one-half feet in diameter. 1t is heated by
steam coils within and by steam jacket
without; inclosing the lower portion. In one
side of the dome is small window through
which gas illuminates the Interior while on
the opposite side is an eyeglass through which
the condition of the contents may be OBJ.
serVeu. Ahe pau IL aAso ProViueu WILL
vacuum gauge and test sticks.
Much of the milk used in cities is simply
concentrated without any addition of sugar.
The eprocess of concentration is continued in the
vacuum pan until one gallon of the milk has
been reduced to little less than quart
one volume of condensed milk corresponding
to about four and three.tenths volumes of
milk. Condensed milk intended to be pre-
served for any length of time has an addition
of pure cane sugar made to it during the boil.
ing. and is usually put in sealed cans. This
sugared or preserved milk, when properly
prepared, will keep for many years.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1881-09-08

their boats at the swinging booms, the Con
gress with her wash clothes between the main
and mizzen rigging How many of the poor
fellows who scrubbed their blue shirts on the
deck that morning ever had need again oi
shirts or aught else after that day .!
At last there is sign Of life on board the
two frigates. Their swinging booms 60
alongside their boats are run to the davits
the Congress pipes down wash clothes, and
now we hear the long roll of our own drum
and fife calling US to quarters. There is no
longer doubt of our captains intentions.
He soon appears ON the gun deck, makes a
stirring appeal to the crew, and then takes
his station near the wheel.
The Pioche weekly record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1877-1900, 1881-01-22

I'm THE DISTRICT COURT OF THE SIXTH
i Judicial District, OF the State OF Nevada In
and for the County Of Lincoln.
George O. Johnston, Plaintif, VS.. @. Il. Light,
ADMINISTRATION brought In the District
Court Of the Sixth Judicial District of the
State OF Nevada, In and for the County of
Lincoln, and the complaint filed in said
Comfy Of Lincoln, In the ONCE Of the Clerk Of
said District Court.
The State Of Nevada sends greeting to G. II,
Light, defendant. You are hereby required to
appear in m action brought against you. by
the above named plsintif in the District
Court of the Sixth Judicial District, Of
the State of Nevada, In and for the county OF
Lincoln. and answer the complaint filed therein,
within ten days exclusive Of the day Of servicel
after the service on you of this summons, II
served In said county; or, If served out Of said
County, but within said District, within twenty
days, and In all other cases forty days; or judy
ment by default will be taken against you, &C.
cording to the prayer Of said complaint. The
said action is brought to recover judgment
against you said defendant for the sum of
80l.4S, gold coin, alleged to be due and owing
from you said defendant to the plaintiff for GER
tain hay sold and delivered to you said defend.
ant by one Chas. Matthews, the same having
been paid for by this plaintiff for use and bene.
at Of you said defendent; also for stated
account between one John Cartwright and you
said defendant, said Cartwright having for value
assigned said account to this plaintiff, all of
which is particularly set forth in plaintiffs com.
plant, to which you are referred, together with
costs Of suit
And you are hereby notified, that If You fail
70 appear and answer the said complaint, as
above required, the said plaintiff will take judg.
ment against you said defendant for the sum OF
$s0l.AS and costa, In gold coin.
Given under my hand and the seal
OF the District Court Of the Sixth
SEAL Judicial District of the State
OF Nevada, in and for the County
of Lincoln, this 18th day OF
March, in the year OF our Lord
one thousand eight hundred and
eighty.
27.Sm j. M. HANFoRD, Clerk.
The Pioche weekly record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1877-1900, 1881-01-22
WY LINCOLN APPOINTED HIM.
Reading. Pa, News.l


The Rov. James Sprigly, who is well
known here, was appointed by President
Lincoln hospital chaplain during the
war. Pending his confirmation by the
United States Senate, self-constituted
committee of the Young Mems Christian
Association called upon the President to
protest against the appointment. After
Mr.. Sprigley's name had been mentioned
the President said:
ooh, yes, ! have sent it to the Senate.
His testimonials are highly satisfactory,
and the appointment will no doubt be
confirmed at an early day."
The young men replied; "But, sir, we
have come not to ask for the appoint
ment but to solicit you to withdraw the
nomination, on the ground that Mr..
Sprigley is not evangelical in his senti-
ments."
"Ah!" said the President, that
alters the case. On what point of doctrine
is the gentleman unsound?"
"He does not believe in endless pun
ishment," was the reply.
eyes" added another of the commit
tee, "hc believes that even the rebels
themselves will finally be saved, and it
will never do to have man with such
views Hospital Chaplain"
The President hesitated to reply for q
moment, and then responded with an
emphasis they will long remember: "lf
that be so, gentlemen, and there be any
way under heaven whereby the rebels
can BIO saved, then, for Gods sake, let
the man be appointed"
He was appointed.
Chicago folks are thawing their feet.