The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1881-07-26
Sense and eNnqsense.


Serse and Nn1sense.
Kerosene will soften boots or shoes
which have been hardened by the water,
and render them pliable as new.
! During the last four years 497 color
blind persons have been discovered
among 1895 railway servants ia Eng.
land.
There are 10000 dentists in this coun-
try, and yet mothers will pull the teeth
of their infants with string tied to o
door latch.
Glass eyes for horses are now made
with such perfection that the animals
themselves cannot see through the de-
ception.
! A Western. ..despe recently shpt
dead a man because be wouldn't pray.
How very dangerous Western life would
be for many of US. a.t,.
A Harlem mocking bird is an adept
at singing Moody and Sankey hymns,
and nothing but the cage prevents it
from taking up collection.
Because the dentist yanks. is he neces.
sarily YaEKee2 No, the dentist is a
, Yanker; it is the miserable wretch in
. the chair that is the Yank ee.
Kerosene will make kettles aud other
articles made Of tin as bright as new
wet woolen cloth with it and rub
Keep kerosene away from the fire.
A new book asks: "Can she atone ?"
A more important question to the mar.
rying young man is: Scan she bake ?''
or "Can she sew on shirt button?"
=" The Datroit Free Press man praises
huttermilk as beverage in the columns
of his paper. The way to get at his
true views is to ask him out 10 drink.
GA New York man has been crazed
by rum and milk" Ole Of the very
wo st things man can do is to mix
drinks. He should havs stuck to plain
rum.
Life is so complicated game that the
devices of skill are liable to be defeated
at every turn by air-blown chances, ip-
calculable as the descent of thistle
down.
Butter may be kept firm and sweet by
sitting the bowl containing it in a shall
low dish of water, and covering with a
napkin; the ends we'll immersed in the
bottom dish.
A little boy who was. disputing with
his sister on some subject, exclaimed !:
ats true, for mamma says so; and if
mamma says 80. It is so. even if it isn't
so. There, now!"
A scrub brush used on the washhoard
to rub things that are hard to wash
such as wooden pants, bags or carpets,
will be much better than the same work
done with the hands.
A Troy lawyer asked woman on the
witness stand her age, and she promptly
I'repliea ,s0'd enough to have. sold milk
for you to drink when baby, and !
haven't got my pay yet"
"Farewell," is the title o. poem sent
in from Ohio yesterday. is a good
thing that the gifted aithoress said
goodbye to the little gem, because she
will never see it again.
The ordinance against profaue swear
ing is so rigidly enforced at Avon, H.,
that plain "damn" is luxury which
costs So, while fancy oaths can only be
INDUCED in by the very afdueut.
William Morgan's bones turn out to
have been an Indian squaw. What be-
comes of the "W NJ" and the silver
ring and the tobacco box and the letter
This thing is becoming troublesome.
Secretary Blaine says that his new
residence in Washington is to be simply
"a square old-fashioned house." The
whole lower floor is to be 90 arranged
that the rooms can all be thrown into
one. ~
Henderson was at the theatre the other
night. at was burlesque, take-off,
wasn't i. ?" asked Smith. "Yes," said
Henderson, "that's what it was, guess.
They had taken off about everything
they dared to-"
Easy travelling: It's long way from
this world to the next" said a dying
man to friend who stood at his bed
side. "Oh, never mind, my dear. fellow"
answered the friend, consolingly, "you'll
have it all down hill"
The farmers of Illinois are very much
excited about the 0epredations OF the
Hessian fv, and want to know some
thing Of its origin. II we mistake not
it was Gen. Washington who first made
the Hessian fly this country. $500
When Boston girl is presented with
bouquet, she says: "Oh; how deli
ciously sweet; its fragrance impregnates
the entire atmosphere of the room a.
down east girl simply saws: sit smells
scrumptious; thanks. Reuben. ~
Uncle Nose asked Gus DsSmite why
it was that the weather was so much
warmer in summer than in winter. II
thought every darned fool knew that, 4
growled Gus. $50 did /, boss. That's
why puts de question to you on pur
pose" .'se,
The new ,mmissioner of Pensions,
Col Dudley, it is said, will abolish much
of the red-tape in the examination Of
arrearages Of pension cases, of which
there are still about two hundred and
fly thousand under advisement, and still
coming in at the rate of two or three
thousand a day. -.
A story is told OF a gentleman who
always took notes Of his minister's SER
mons and on one occasion read them to
the minister himself. 9"Stop! stop"
said he, at the occurrence of certain
sentence, 81 didn't say that" 81 know
you didn't" was the reply, 81 put that
| in myself to make sense. s-e
The hospitality which Mr.. A. H. Ste
pLens offers to strangers at his Georgia
home is something unique. He has
even, it is said, fixed his dinner-hour at
IL in the morning, because that hour
suited the railroad arrangements. and
he could invite all those who came to
sec him to dine before leaving. ai.e.
Side by side in rural cemetery near
Boston are two graves with simple head
stones, on one Of which is engraved the
word another" and on the other the
word "Father." On the former is