The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1881-07-29

II IL said that James Gordon Bennett,
WAC Il editing fast horses In Europe "has
sworn tbst be win win the Derby next
vaaro And no doubt he viii swear II nc
toesn,t win it, NUristoton Herald.
THE ordinary reader can stand great deal
ar medical pnraseo;ogy from Dr. Hammond
or DR.. Hamilton, or DIR. Wales, but human
patience gives way when mustard plaster
il regarded ss bIistering assertion
virginia is becoming demoralIred. The
fashion OF calling members OF the Legisia'
ture Hon." II they happen TO be ilu's
prominent prevails. Sorry Tor vrg'n,a
Sorry for North Carolina J. H"'H'''y'""
Star.
Fogc saws he never understood the true
Significance OF the term breadstuus tl'i
after be exchanged his mothers COOKING
for the cooking Of Mrs. Fogg. He says her
breads tough enough TO satisfy an os-
trich. Boston Transcript.
w. ]. Florence tells OF a country actor
who bad Just returned from a short pro.
yincIaI engagement. "How did you get
on ?" said Florence. mot very WE'LL"
replied the histTion; al played sck.knife
engagements--l opened and shut the same
night"
The Boston Herald says: Our esteemed
contemporary the Traveller challenges us
and gives us the choice OF weapons under
the rules Of the code. We name Bullock
presses, space and time to be annihilaled,
with our faces toward the morning, q Ia
Malone.
The manner in which General Butler re-
sents the rumor that Guiteau has retained
bin in his defence reminds the Buffalo la.
press OF fellow in similar fix down In
Massachusetts,, who wanted Choate to de-
fend him: What his hands covered with
blood. and no money. There's no help for
him." exclaimed Cboate.
The Sunday school was In debt and the
superintendent got up an excursion and
picnic to wipe it out, and was successful.
At the next meeting OF the Sunday school
the superintendent congratulated the schol-
ars on what bad been accomplished. "Now,
Children" said he, rubbing his hands, "we
are out of debt, what shall we doI" Git
in sgiDi" piped up a shrill voice from a
small boy on the front Cincinnati
Saturday Night.
AT THE PHOTOGRAPHERS.
Artist, Smile pleasantly, II you please.
A little more. There; but not quite so
much. Wait moment, please. | SHALL
have 10 get the negative on the plate longi-
tudinally il that smile increases. That will
do" And all the while the woman was
irving to condense her mouth AZ much as
possible Nep Hduen Register.
DEADLOCK CONTINUED.
"Who was The greatest American poet?"
asked Professor Stearns. "GeOTge Wash
iBgton," said the slow boy in the farther
seat; abe was versed in war, versed in
peace, and YER" But the professor in
teTrupted him 10 say that was the verst be
ever heard, and Just then the lightning
struck the Baptist college, and, without
coming 10 vote, the house adjourned -
Burlington H0pkeye.
WOUNDED.
"Livei | guess he lived. Why, YOU
couldn't Kill that Teller II he was as full OF
holes as a skinner. He'd Just 90 10 work
and breathe through the holes, that's what
he'd do" and having thus ventilated his
knowledge Of the vitality OF veteran OF
the Mexican war, Job Shuttle mopped the
Precipitation from his brow and strolled of
to the next grocery to astODish another
cracker-barrel audience Brooklyn Eagle.
IN THE MARKET.
Glow dye sell these bananasy" and he
fumbled over the whole bunch in q critical
sort OF way. "Forty cents a dozen for
those bananas, SIR" 81 declare. What's
this? Jimmy, but that tarantula bit me
square on my thumb" "ln that case |
shall have to get sixty cents dozen. You
see this will include name in the paper and
a ten line obituary. Couldn't think Of no.
thing less, sir" Customer faintS on bis
hands, but " comes to" to find out that he
has only stuck a silver in his hand.-Nep
IIr,,o,, Innicfoa.