National Republican. (Washington City (D.C.)) 1872-1888, 1881-03-19
MORE BUSINESS DEPRESSION.
BY DERRICK DoDD.

"The fact is" said old Johnny McFinn,
the city undertaken, to an attache OF the Post the
other day, "the fact is there isn't any money in
planting stiffs for the corporation nowadays moth
ing like the good old times, l assure you. I've
about made up my mind to give up the contract"
what do you mean by the good old times? "
said the pencil parer, sitting down on four bit
coffin. =.
"Why the COED old stock specializing days.
Those are the times when trade booms and every
body feels good. Why, even aslate the last Alta
deal last year, there were as many IS fifteen sui
cides week, to say nothing of four spectators
who dropped dead OH Pine street the day of the
break"
''Flourishing times, eh?"
DWELL, should smile. Nowadays tits all differ
ent. Since the sand lotters have been squelched
nearly all the paupers and tramps have gone
away, and we don't fall into q charity cadaver-
corporation plant, you know-once in a month.
Now, with only $40 apiece for burying 'em from
the city, and say SIS head from the medical COL
leges there isn't much show to keep wife and
family; now, is there?"
"You don't sell the bodies to the saw-bones, do
your"
"Well, ahem, man has got to live some way,
you know. But the point is that the business has
all gone to blazes, anyhow. OF course have the
Will Lu6 uOspltdlr mllSt
say they do all they can to work up business, and
Don't mean to say you actually try to
"To hurry up patients? just do, though. Why
not, should like to know? person can die but
once, and what difference can it make to poor
man in San Francisco whether he dies now or in
q few years, eh ?'
There may be something in that" said the Jour-
nalist, musingly, but how-how do you manage
to encourage them to"
rpl az cfcrix- fI,apl 1iat 10
hints, as it were. rush in coffin on en- set it
up right where they see It, while the Doctor he
sits on the foot of the bed swapping his watch and
telling 'em about angels and the high price ofhour
and things. Just coaXes 'em right under the
daisies, so to speak,
"Iou don't say?'
ooh, that's nothing" rejoined the municipal
mourner. aft business man doesn'tshow a little
enterprise and snap in this town there isn't much
show, for him. you can depend on it. Now last
Tuesday. for instance, was driving the dead
wagon up Market street, and just as we got to the
corner of Third man on the sidewalk fell down
in an epileptic fit and stiffened out as straight as
poker The crowd thought he was dead, and as
soon as / saw that jumped of, slammed him into
the wagon and drove up to the Pacific Medical
Tyler street, but didn't have time to go back for
the body; mores the pity. The disSecting class
had just met when got there. You sec I'd been
trying to get them subject for three days without
success Hello. Mac says the professor, you're
just on time We were afraid you were going to
disappoint us"
ooh but did, though. Just rushed the body
right in, got my coin, and lit OUT
And they really cut up the poor man." said
the writer, with shudder
"Well, no. believe they had only jabbed into
him once or twice when the corpse sat up and
began to swear like pirate in the fourth act. He
seemed annoyed. kinder; aud nearly killed one Of
the faculty with his own knife, understand. After
that he got up and walked out, and is now suing
the city for the loss of his big toe or an ear or
something. The sawbones were perfectly dis
gIsted, and agreed always to start In by cutting
the cadayers Threats after this, to make sure
And do you know they actually wanted me to re-
fund the money paid me? Now, what do you
think of that for nerve? I'd see 'cm-"
But as boy came running in to say that there
was runaway in the next street, Mr.. McFinn put
ON his hat and rushed out with an eye to bust
neSS-SnR Francisco Post.