The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1881-05-27
qne queen OF the savv-1sust Arena.

The Queen OF the Sayy-Dust Arena.
Mr.. Biggs was sauntering around the
Union Depot as the evening train came
in from Buffalo, when surprised with:
"Why, Biggs! How are you, old
fellow?"
"Well, if it amt Jack Duncan Glad
to see you. Come right along home
with nae.
"No, Biggs! Tn too dirty. Been
showed in on the road helped shovel
snow, slept in barroom haven't had a
change of shirts for week."
"Never mind appearances, nobody at
the house. My wife took the 3 p. m. for
an all-night with her sister in Paines-
vile. I'll furnish shirt and I've got a
fine bathroom in the house. Come, now;
you haven't honored me since I mar
RED"
''Well, since the wits is away III sur
render. Well have regular rooster
night of it,
Jack Duncan is bachelor, with a
holy horror of women. Feminine pres
ence9 paralyzes and stultifes him.
"Here's the linen" showing him into
the bathroom a few minutes later.
"There's the bath all ready. Now
shape up while go down to Joe Rich
ards and order up one of our old col
lege lunches. Nobody in the house so
just splash around at pleasure.
Biggs departed, leaving the door aiar.
Jack did not notice it in his eagerness
for immersion.
He had just tumbled out and resumed
his pantaloons when he heard footsteps
approaching tie door. Thinking it was
Biggs returning he seized the freshly
laundried shirt, opening at the back,
and iammed his head into it. It came
down over his face, completely blindfold-
ing him, and the starch baffled his efforts
to tunnel through.
just as he commenced straddling
around with suspenders dangling he
heard rustic that CONCEALED his blood.
The door squeaked, and CHEEKY voice
said:
"Now I've got you, Mr.. Biggs The
came back. I heard you playing sea
lion in the bathroom as I entered the
house; I got the buggy whip and slipped
up to pay you back for everlastingly
teasing me. Now, Tn ringmaster, dear
hubby. Move hvelyP And she popped
her whip in a business way that sus-
pended the bachelors animation. The
shirt hid his face, and, taking his silence
for spousal submission to the joke, she
began:
Gentlemen and Ladies: Mile. Biggs.
c11An7a IF the nox1I,7e4 o,.a7,o -, =,
troduce her handsome and perfectly
trained trick mule, Hubby Darling. He
will walk the arena on his hind feet.
with head and forepaws shrouded in a
linen canopy. Come now, Hubby /!
Hoop la ! hoop la r.
She chirped, fetching him wipe with
the whip that made his bare feet spank
the floor like clog dancer.
Timber up, Hubby Lively now.
Up, Wp, UP" and she underscored the
last cup" with briar cut. making
Hubby Darling skip SO impulsively that
Darlng's dangling suspenders swished
about like donkey's tail, and his hands
dove instinctively to the preservation OF
his unstayed pantaloons.
ST blindfolded Hubby Darling to pre-.
vent HIM climbing the center-pole. He's
the trickiest donkey that cavorts the
magic circle. The peerless prance of
the canvas pavilion. Hoop Ia! Clip
she takes him. What beautiful action
Yes, fellow-countrymen, I never curry
him down with anything but this silk
blossomed snapper. Hoop Ia Popker-
slash.
ST cover his ears that he may not Of
fend the most fastidious; they resemble
a cross between mailbag and the hu-
man appendage. Hoop lal Clip, zip.
Let the Golden Cornet Band dish up
Fishers Hornpipe red-hot and highly
favored. and Hubby Darling shall
"B-b-beg your p-pardon, m-madam, p
sputtered the victim, as his head and
voice shot out of the shirt. Then
She started, stopped,
Spell-bound, amazed:
The whip she dropped,
And then she raised
A Cherokee shrek
And down she Topped.
But the terrified sufferer caught her
CALAMITY In his arms, just as Biggs
rushed In with
Jack, are you drowning? Great
heavens my wife r
Take her, Biggs. Tn tuckered cut.
Av1v~x,oxJ 80