New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1881-11-13
A SOCIAL FAILURE.

l.
II is disastrous thing for man TO be a social
failure Worse, ladies, than Tor one ol yourselves
Thrne wears had elapsed since l. would-hc gay
thing of a bachelor started in chambers IN Mayfair,
aud there was no more bIihhLig VIZ ,bb con
timed 10 court her. lntiOductlOns, gOou fanny
name unblemshed character private means eA-
,eeut intentions had all failed miseIaOly 10 hoaI
ne on the tantalElng sea oil pleasure IaSl'oL'
Irritation, that surged around me. III. ;...,ui,,,,
The fourth May came, bringing with ITS spring
blossoms a magnificent crop OF spring gdIetCs-huu
not tor me, John Anstruther Thirteen posts
PASSED nv door daily nor LETT so much rs cara
Tor ball. had ceased even to dream o. IN
bitterly inquired. Had not invariably gone Wneh
invited, arrived punttualli, and called WITHIN
forty-eipht hours? For society. ladies' society
von1e ladies' society was to me the one sweet thlnS
that made life worth LIVING. To daily aWhlc III me
rosebud garden of girls deliberately se3et ti'cnVo
the queen rosebud / should preier-suCh WAS my
hearts hope quenched, my youths ideal uhcohui-
Nv Observation-Disclosures which amounted 10 despair
broke ont one dav to my friend and fellow lodger
Francis Barry whose brilliant buttehy lie
wretched | had once inspired to emulate he
mere sight of his mirror stung me TO frenzy. IL
was n maze of pretty notes and cards-my Lady
This and the Hon. Mrs. That competing ior MS
precious company ai dinners, dances leteS, Watei-
parties and every conceivable variety OF aiurilg
Entertainments saw names that sent thIllI 10 my
bosom; addresses-l would have forfeited gold
mine for the right to enter those walls
heaven is earth Tor a Prince Charming like you!
He is a fool who complains to handsome ana
popular fellow that he is neither the one nor tue
other. But passionate longing bore down SELL
'' Francis twrlcd his black mustachc, and asked
with affected surprise,
WHAT'S wrong with you, Jol nnyp
Il should like to know, | reJoned with grim
irony. Whatever the cause, I'm failure. Barry
n dismal failure IN the society TO which was born
If | were a convict. or an idiot, or deformeu, theY
couldn't give me up more unreseryedIy' compare
our lots pointing el0quently TO tue uanteisheh .
Yet you are not, like myself. government
Ohce young man Arc not our families on par
| spoke generously, Tor my father was colonel Oh u
crack cavalry corps, Barry's but an ohlcer Oh
sRank's not everything nowadays he reminded
me- All depends on-clrcuu stances, leaning i iis
tall spare figure back against the chmneypece' ms
black hair and provokngly good features displayed
In becoming frame OF invitations TO dinner -,
CirCumst ances liza, ha! lie sang Ike a bnu'
did Barry acted like Charles Mathews redir'rHS;
and decorated any room lac was IN. l could not
sing stammered intermttently IN my talk, ana
spoiit the only farce ever played in by speaking
nv part Dinner Is on the table IN an lnaudlDle
voice. My shyness, intensified by repeated Ie3ulls
was like demOniacal possession that seized me
when in company never opened my lbs now Dut
to say the wrong thing-never made step without
stumbling OF treadng some One,s best gown.
You look ready TO cut your throat, remarked
Barry laughng--the villain!
company | shant DO that but I'm tired to death
Take nv advice he said. Cut Vanity Fair;
Try the opposition shopthe ladies OF Intellect ana
learning the camp of the Amazons the emancl-
pated Doa't make faces. l knew man much ID
your predcament last year who now enjoys Tue
repui alton of lady-klller among the slsternoOd'
Il he shrieking sIsterhOOd OF outrageous SPIN
sters,' broke in savagey They Will put up
with blOckheads like me because line fellows Ike
.Oh. I'm told they've crowds of pretty and
charming women among them now, and that shy
fellows like you get there like "A house on ire
me pursued, chatting on heartlessly. Here's the
very thing for you-a ticket Lady Gay has sent
for tho c0Rr9saziOne OF the Ladies' Athen%um
tonight at the Cassandra Rooms, with note"
have promised TO scatter these cards. Help me, II
you have any old frumps Of friends :; to send to
the Cassandra Rooms. Don't forget that you dine
with me at s. The Duchess has promised" etc.
Well tossing me the card how about Cassandraf
Won't you 90 and see the landT
'COnfJund Cassandra and her club! exclaimed,
striding out in a rage, aud | heard the scoundrel
laughing behind me. ,
That night, finishing my solitary chop at the
club | had a vision. / saw Francis Barry dining
with a duchess, charming her by his empty talk,
peeling a peach for her My brow burned AS
drew out my handkeTchei card rel on the oori
had pocketed the hated thing uDawares III my
distraction.
my throat ia good earnest.
/ entered the Cassandra Rooms. my mind made up
for a bad dream OF plain women with cropped hair.
neutral attire and spectacles. Bat there was
lion in the path to he faced first. namely lady by
the door, doing the honOrs. She glanced at my
ticket had filled in my naine-then at me.
WretcheC experience has rendered me morbidy
acute to the first impression make. Was It pos.
sible that this, for once, was not unfayorableT
felt strange soothing sensation. And she was not
so uncomely nation, and rather we'll dressed.
You arc a stranger here, / thlnk, MT Ans
truther she said kindly, but with no eXasperatlrg
pity. Lei Inc introduce you to our secretary,
Miss Priscilla Hale
Introductions are my moments of supremest
anguish. My stanmer comes on. my brain eyapo-
rates rack the remains of it, but no words nor
ideas will come. film crossed my eyes. Then
Are you in favor of ladies' clubs p in a bracing
tone, that somehow gave me nerve to ariculate in
tegiby.
Il call that question for the ladies. What are
your views, Miss
Confusion! There--Td forgotten her namel
Priscilla Hale she supplied it calmly. We'll.
hold that if our clubs mostly fail because they
are too mixed Put butterflies with bees, they will
fight The Ladies Athen9um admits workers only
This brilliant assemblage II stared is an auspi-
cious Inauguration. Oh you're quite among the
blue-stockings tonight, Mr.. Anstruther. Shall we
walk roundf | can tell you who's who and what's
what if YOU care TO know
to me, Shall we jump ont OF the WINDOW 7 should
acquiesce. AS we paced the rooms she maze good
her word, and proved besides most amusing
cicerone.
That angel-faeel, gol en- haired creature is Mrs
Hallei, the grand bulwark of female suffrage. Inc
fat little old person. whose gray halr Is coming
down Is "Zephyrine," who writes such passionate
ronances. The petty girl behind us Is JANE
Somers, q great Greek scholar, and the translator
Of" Agamemnon." Those glass cases contain n col.
lection OF lying dragons, fossil fungi, and gold
beetle from Yucatan, said to attain fabulous age
Here cores Professor 0mnium. who is going to
lecture us upon them by and by.
Here was my partner dancing gentleman, so TO
speak, plotting, protecting nstructing, entertaining
i experienced beneficial effect. My selt-
consciousness, my worst enemy, relaxed, and
began to take notice! BY Heaven, there was no
present were not of Barrys supercilious stamp.
hazarded remark, then joke or two--jewes that