davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1881-06-17
A VentrilOuuist's Joke.

Frederick McCabe, the ventriloquist,
is great practical joker. Several years
ago he was on board a Mississippi river
steamboat, and, forming an acquaint-
ance with the engineer, was allowed the
freedom of the engine-room. He took
seat in corner, and, pulling his hat
down over his eyes, appeared lost In
reverie. Presently certain part of the
machinery began to squeak. The engin-
eer oiled it and went about his usual
the squeaking was heard :.s .;u anu the
engineer rushed over, oil-can i'll hand, to
lubricate the same spindle. Again he
returned to his post. but it was only q
few minute -. A.. che same old spindle
was squeaking louder than ever. "Great
Jupiter ~ he yelled, "the things be-
witched." More oil was administered,
but the engineer began to smell rat.
Pretty soon the spindle squeaked again,
and, slipping up behind McCabe, the
engineer squirted q half-pint Of oil down
the joker's back. "There," said he,
q guess that spindle won't squeak any
more |" The joke was so good that
McCabe could not keep it, and he often
tells ii with as much relish as his audit
ors receive it.
At another time McCabe was con-
fronted by highwavman, on one of the
lonely streets of Cincinnati, as he was
returning to his hotel from moonlight
picnic. The robber presented cooked
revolver to the ventriloquists head, de-
handing his money or his life. Nc
Cabe's quick wit saved him. He threw
his voice behind the robber, exclaiming,
Hold, villain, you are my prisoner p
The frightened scamp turned his head,
and McCabe dealt him blow that
felled him to the ground. He then Sc
cured the revolver and marched the
scoundrel off to q police station.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1881-06-17
Close Of the Session scenes OF Die
order ian the House.

~.
Tho Legislative session closed at 10 O'Clock
last night The work had been tolerably well
completed and the evening session was there
fore less hurried than usual. The lack of a
sufficient amount Of responsible employment
inclined the House to be hilarious. There
was a great tendency to skylarking. Paper
wads and waste baskets flew about causing
an uneXampled amount OF lodging. About
o'clock a sort of an informal recess was taken,
nominally for the purpose of gong mo COM
rnttee of the whole. Representative Young,
the senior Democratic member, was persuaded
TO take the chair. No sooner had he assumed
that elevated position than such lombard
ment began that he was forced 10 shelter him.
relf behind the columns which sustain tho re.
porters gallery. The uproar and confusion
were considered by the numerous spectators
rs good as a circus. Shouting and laughter
filed the edfce, and when the amuse-
ment was at its height; tho gas was sud
denly turned out. A preconcerted arrangement
lor this purpose was made with all official OF
the House. In the darkness the shades To one
OF the chandeliers to the left Of the Speaker
were broken by flying missiles. The crash
sounded as IL the glass ceiling of the hall was
falling. There were shouts of "Light the gas
and cries for the Sergeant-at-Arms and tn.
e.ectriclan. After a long delay the gas was
turned on and again lighted. At the same mo-
ment from the reporters gallery blanket was
let down by a cord 1t startled Chairman
Young "a we'll as the House. The scene az a
whole was quite unprecedented in Legislative
halls. Many derogatory remarks were made
regarding tho fnvoIty and lack of
dlgnity-not to use worse expression
winch characterized the proceedings. The
confusion subsidized when Speaker Moflatt took
the chair. 1t was mildly renewed when the
committee from the Senate appeared, and they
we're incontinently p,lted beyond the bar
Senators Buttars and Welch expecting some
such reception, had provided themselves with a
supply OF journals properly folded for ammu
niton, and returned the fire with vigor. The
Senate had its revenge. however, when Repre-
seDtatives Young. Frazer spd Palmelee APP
reared in the chamber as a committee OF the
House. Ii was made manifest that the Sena-
tors had more vigor of arm and we're the better
marksmen.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1881-06-17
The Bank of England.

"As safe as the Bank of England" is
an assurance of safety which is never
questioned. No one has ever lost money
by the Bank of England. It's notes are
good all over the world. Many strangers
go to see it. Only few persons can go
round at once with guide. LII one
room notes that have been paid have the
corners torn off and holes punched
through them. Over fifty thousand
notes, worth one million pounds, are
paid every day, and thus cut. They
are kept five years, and, if you give the
number and date of note, in less than
five minutes it can be found so that
you paid note you owed, aud man
said you did not do so, you could prove
that you had paid it. The largest note
is one thousand pounds. One hundred
and twenty men are IN the room where
paid notes are clipped, and twelve hun
dred mall the bank. All the notes are
printed in the bank, and the printing
machines keep register of every one.
Here pensions are paid to crippled sol
diers. Here gold and silver plate-pri-
vate property-is kept. Two things 1
heard interested me. "Gold is very
brittle, said our guide. Eff you throw
good deal about upon counter-that
is, a number of good pieces-and then
sweep it off the counter, you will find
that the fragments count up. We are
very careful of them. In the weighing
room, all gold sovereigns that you put
in your pockets i'll the morning with
other pieces of coin at night will not be
just the same. We know that, and we
weigh every sovereign that has once
been out of the house. The bankers
lose the difference. We have sent boxes
of gold coin to them by express that
have come back to us unopened, yet the
rubbing of the gold has worn off FIVE
pounds worth" We came away agree
ing that this great bank is one of the
worlds wonders. Exchange.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1881-06-17
The Gain of Sunday Rest.

OF course / do not mean that man
will not produce more in week by work.
ing seven days than by working six days.
But very much doubt whether, at the
end of the year, he will generally pro-
duce more by working seven days in
week than by working six days iii a week.
The natural difference between Cam
pania and Spitzbergen is trifing when
compared with the difference between
country inhabited by men full of bodily
and mental vigor and country inhab-
tied by men sunk in bodily and mental
decrepitude. Therefore it is that we are
not poorer, but richer, because we have
through many ages rested from our
labors one day in seven. The day is not
lost. While industry is suspended, while
the pillow lies in the furrow, while the
exchange is silent. while no smoke as
cends from the factory, process Is going
on quite as important to the wealth OF
the nation as is the work which is per-
formed on more busy days. Mantle
machine of machines-the machine COM
pared with which all the contrivances of
the Watts and Arkwrights are worthless
lis repairing and winding up, SO that he
returns TO his labors on Monday with
clearer intellect and livelier spirits, with
renewed corporal vigor.-Lord Mocd,s-
Inn
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1881-06-17
No Further Flirting.

The New York Central and Hudson
River Railroad Company has issued
orders that hereafter no employe Of that
company shall hirt with unprotected
females along the line Of the road.
Heretofore every damsel from Gotham
to Albany had her particular mash on the
road there was one railroader upon
whom she smiled to the exclusion of the
others, and now about 26S little romances
are pulverized under the iron wheel
of the monopoly. The men, of course,
do not mind the matter much, but the
poor little girls who have been permit
ting the tendrils of their affection to
Irvine around the hearts of the Grant
railroad men are awfully indignant. For
time they could not understand the
sudden GOODNESS Of their adorers, who
ceased all along the line to laugh back
when the girls laughed at them, but now
that the order has become public they
are up In arms. A numerously clrcu-
lated petition, signed by every unmar-
ried female along the Hudson River,
between the ages Of eight and eighty,
has been addressed TO the company, ask
ing that the odious restriction be taken
off the men, and threatening in the event
of refusal to boycott this line. The
sentiment is unanimous one. There
is some feeling in the female heart which
the railroader particularly stirs. 1t is a
sentiment rather than II hope. They all
admit that the boys never marry-they
do not wish them to marry; they only
demand that, in the beautiful language
of the song, they shall smile as they
were wont to smile.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1881-06-17
The Natural Bridge.

The Natural Bridge property is now in
the process of extensive improvement.
including fine hotel and other attrac-
tons, which will make it at an early day
q place of more general resort than ever,
particularly for summer visitors. One
notable change has already been made,
which will be an agreeable surprise to the
public no charge is now made for look
ing at the bridge, which seems to be in
the line of the ancient tradition connect
ed with the property, that Mr.. Jefferson,
who was the first owner Git having been
first surveyed and patented in his nancy
intended to dedicate it to the public as
free TO all visitors. According to the
tradition, there was provision in the
will to that effect but this is a mistake.
as the writer has ascertained by an In
spection of it and of deed of convey
ance on record in Rockbridge county.
The first charge made for looking at the
bridge was % cents, then so cents, and
finally 81. At the former prices it was
a source of considerable income, but 81
was more than the public were willing
to stand, and, like the last pound, broke
the camel's back. The consequences was
that for two or three years past the in
come has been very inconsiderable.
Lynchb,rg Virginian
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1881-06-17
Also. s2OO, 900 for 1881.
The New Apportion m ents.

We are indebted to the Lansing Re.
publican for the following table, showing
the Representative districts and their
population, as provided in the new
Apportionment bill passed by the Legis-
lature. The ratio is fixed at Is, 1863 in
habitants for each representative, being
one-hundreth part of the entire popu-
lation of the State, according to the
recent census. As required by the con-
stitution, Representative is assigned to
each county having more than half of
the above ratio, as nearly as may be
without increasing the total number
above 100, and the counties having less
than half that ratio are grouped to-
gether, there being ten districts thus
constituted:
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1881-06-17

THE Chicago Inter Ocean comments
on stage kisses Janauschek's kisses
are out rare, and they are very matronly.
They come with words that are growled
forth from adeeply-imbedded diaphragm,
and are mere touches--not like what
.Soldene's used to be in the days OF old,
when she gave her stage lovers the full
benefit of the mammoth cave that yawns
across her face. There is more kiss to
the square foot of Soldene's mouth than
that of any other woman on the stage.
Alice Oates did some pretty kissing
She could kiss high tragedy or low COM
edy, and between the two extremes ring
in every known variety, from ModJeska $
stately iciness to Pauline Markham S
smack. On one occasion an actor, feel
ing full of inspiration or beer, seized her
on the stage, gave her a hug that must
have made her ribs meet, and bestowed
a paroxysmal kiss upon her. Next night
her husband appeared in the wings with
a big revolver, ready to blow the top OF
the actors head off should he try 1t
again, saying NE could furnish all the par
oxysm wanted in that family himself"
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1881-06-17

THE New York Stats Zeitung has ex
amined the books of the immigration
authorities in that city, and gathered
therefrom notwithstanding statistical
date. The examination includes the
time from the 5th of May, 1S47, to the
3lst of December, 1880. During these
thirty-three years and eight months nc
less than 6,1S4, 1896 immigrants landed
ut the port of New York alone. Oh
these 2,10S, 445 were Irish, while all the
German states. proper sent 2,299, 662
PERSONS. Considering the population OF
the German states, the number Of Ger.
man immigrants is rather small as com
pared with the number of Irish immi-
grants in proportion to the population
of Ireland. The greatest number OF
Irish immigrants landed in New York
during the years from 1913 to 1853. In
1913 %, 061 Irish people arrived here
in 1Si9, 112, 591 in 1850, 1l7,038; in
in 1851, 1913, 306; in 1852, 1l8, l3l in
1853, 1l3, 164. The smallest number of
Irish immigrants arrived during the
years 1876 -1S7S-viz: 1894 in 1876,
1921 in 1877 and Is, 0l3 in 1878. With
the return of business prosperity in the
United States Irish immigration in
creased also in 1879 22,624 arrived,
and in 1880 nearly three times as many
viz; 64,399, which number will be by
far surpassed during the present year.
The greatest number of immigrants
from Germany arrived during the years
1852, 1853 and 1S54-viz 1851. 119,
GA and 1863 Next in the years
1866 1S69-viz 106,716 1881, 101, :
$50 and 59,505 and, finally, in the
years 1872 .1S73-viz 1873, 705 and 104,
90. Then the arrivals declined rapidly
to 10000, $4,000 and 21,000 in 1874,
1875 and 1876, until they reached in
1877 the lowest fgure-viz II, 1853.
In 1880 the arrivals increased again to
1O4, 264, which figure will be largely in
creased during the current year. AL
though political motives have something
to do with immigration, on the whole
these figures reflect clearly the rise and
fall in the material prosperity on both
sides of the Atlantic. In other words.
few successive good harvests and years
of business prosperity in this country
and corresponding number of failures
of crops and business depression in
Europe will produce an increase i'll immi-
grafton, and the reverse of decline.
If we group the English-speaking i'm
migrants into one class then we must
add to the 2,10S, AIS Irish immigrants
the number of 735,519 Englishmen,
ITO, 800 Scotchmen and 1891 Welsh
men, in all 3,116, TAO British subjects.
To the German immigration from the
German states proper may be added
1881 German Austrians and $3.50
from Switzerland, amounting in all to
2,315,643 German-speaking immigrants
who landed III the port of New York
from the 9Th of May, 1S47, to the 31st
of December, 1880.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1881-06-17
100000 is for the expense of the Legis-

100000 Is for the expense of the Legis-
lature.
The House bills appropriating $4,000 for
repairs, etc, AZ the State prison at Jackson,
and S52, 800 for repairs and improvements at
the Kalamazoo asylum both squeezed through
the Senate just in time, with not day to
spare.
Gov Jerome nominated on the 9th, as a com
MISSION tn locate the new insane ASYLUM: Perry
Hannah. Traverse City Edwin X. Van Dusen.
Kalamazoo. md Milton H. Butler, Mount
Clemens. He also nominated Water Commits
sionecs for Detroit and long list OF Notaiies
Public. The Senate confirmed the whole list
with open doors. the first instance ~ all excel
tive session having Eeen held with no secresy
for years
A. the adjournment OF the Legislature has
deprived your correspondent of this In ,nch Of
his occupation. he takes this occasion to write
the one word " farewell" OBSERVER
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1881-06-17

THE Panama canal would seem to be
an enterprise of sufficient dimensions to
occupy the entire attention OF the most
ambitious engineer. De Lesseps Is not
content with it, however. He has closed
q contract with the Greek Government
for cutting the Isthmus of Corinth, and
opening a ship channel between the
Egean sea and the Gulfof Corinth, agree
ing to begin the work in 1882 and COM
plete it in five years. The project is by
no means a new one. The Emperor
Nero attempted it without success, and
there have been various canal schemes
in modern times, stimulated by the mar
row width of the isthmus, which Is only
about five miles across, and the obvious
advantage to commerce of opening a
passage through it. In 1873 a .conces-
sion for a canal was made to a Greek
banker, who failed to carry out his en-
gagements. Whether he succeeds at
Panama or not, De Lesseps will no
doubt be able to overcome the compare
lively trifing obstacles in the way of
cutting five-mile long channel in n
temperate climate, with all the resources
of European engineering skill, ma
chinery and trained labor close at
hand.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1881-06-17

DURING the Sepoy rebellion in India
the English invented the atrocity of
blowing captured rebels from the mouths
of cannon. The unhappy victims of
this process were supposed to believe
that it would be impossi lie for the frag-
ments of their anatomy thus scattered
to be ever reunited in future life, and
the horror with which they regarded
such annihilation caused the artillery ex-
ecution to be generally regarded as a
triumph of ingenuity in the way of bar
barous vengeance. The Oricntals are
net lacking, as q rule, in appreciation of
contrivances of peculiarly-borrible
character, but this one seemed to be too
much even for their cultivated tastes,
and it long remained unimitated. At
length the Persinns, finding case for
which their own methods of butchery
seemed insufficient, have revived the
English invention, and n Kurdish chief
was scattered over the face of the coun-
try the other day by lannon's dis
charge. 1t is not probable the English
will take great pride in this tardy adop-
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1881-06-17

A PRETENDED widow wrote to an
attorney in Washington asking what
steps she should take to secure pension
on account of the death of her husband
while serving in the army. The attor-
ney sent back list of questions to be
answered by the applicant. She replied
to the question, "What was the name
of the dead soldier?" as follows AL
though / cannot give my husbands
name nor describe him, L insist that he
WAS killed in the army; else where is
he, and why so long gone? For surely,
of all the brave boys who left home and
friends TO fight for our country, one
must have been my husband, and, for
the sake of that unnamed, unknown
grave whore my dear brave boy Is sleep
ing his last long sleep, 1 have never
married. / think / have told you all
you will care to know, as you are only
interested in pensions, and am not
pensioner. / have said many times that
nv husband died in the army, never
thinking should be called to account
for it. But You won't forget the poor
little unknown widow, will you? Yours,
most sincerely.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1881-06-17
Spiritual Movement.

Col. McSpilkins came home late from
the lodge tho other night and raised q
mischief of row.
"My dear, what is it that angers you
80 ?" asked Mrs. McSpilkins.
well, amt it enough to make q
saint swear to have the chairs go pranc-
ing and prcwling around in such blast
ed fool way ?"
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1881-06-17

A CITIZEN of Atlanta has in his posses
sion a rar5 natural curiosity in the shape
of a amethyst recently found in Georgia.
The peculiar featureabout the amethyst
IS that it contains drop of water in the
center OF the stone. There is speci.
men of white crystal on exhibition in
Philadelphia containing drop OF water,
but this is the only instance on record OF
an amethyst so peculiarly formed.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1881-06-17

THE preliminary compilation of the
debt statistics of Pennsylvania, by the
census office, shows the total net debt,
both local aud of the Safe proper, to be
$l14,073,3i2.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1881-06-17

THE editor of the Hackensaclx Repu5-
Ican went to call on his girl, when he
saw on the front steps sign which
sail, beware of the paint" lie went
away signing, 81 never before knew that
she painted
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1881-06-17

ton by a semi-barbarous state of
mode of punishment the original prac-
tice of which Mortified the civilized
world.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1881-06-17

The total footing of all the appropria-
tons made up TO the present time is
81, III, 626 30, which will probably be
swelled to about $2,0l2,876. The Leg
islature of 1879 appropriated 81, $685.
925. The total appropriations by the
present Legislature, leaving out the ex-
lraordinary expense of S400, 900 for a
new Asylum for Insane will be about
81, 607, 1916, or 1921, $40 less than in 1879.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1881-06-17
MICHIGAN NEWS.

THE Elk Rapids furnace makes forty
nine tons of iron per day whom il enjoys
good health.
A cIsrERN has been commenced mt the
Reform School for Girls at Adrian.
which will hold 2S, 600 barrels of water.
VIM. }. CUsHBuRY shot large black
bear inside the city limits of Lulpg-
ton. The carcass weighed $50 pounds.
DR.. S. S. CUTTER, prominent physi-
clan Of Coldwater. has been pronounced
insane and taken 10 the kalamazoo asy-
lum.
BUILDING is lively i'll Cheboygan. Be-
side business establishments and resi-
dences, a new Baptist chapel is nearly
completed.
THERE are forty cases OF diphthera
in Ludington, and the schools have
been closed as n precautionary measure.
Several deaths have occurred.
Hon. ISAAC NJ. CRANE, one of the
most prominent lawyers in Eaton coun-
ty, and well known all over the State,
died at his home in Eaton Rapids, aged
Al.
Mrs. CORGAN, of Calumet, Houghton
county, gave her baby carbolic acid by
mistake for cough medicine. 1t was
effectual the baby will never cough
again.
DIR. ROWLAND 3. G. NEwCoMBE, Il
prominent physician, citizen and poll
tician of Lenawee county, for the past
thirty years, died lately at his home in
Bliss6eld oOel 20 wears
A LAKEvIEw (Montcalm county, far
mer sold his oxen to lift mortgage,
went to the circus, saw exactly where
the "little joker" was, bet and lost
SS65 quicker than he could wipe his
chin off.
The Macomb county pioneers organ
lied county society at Washington.
They were addressed by the Rev. Ed
ward Davis, aged 93, who settled in
Michigan when it was "A Territory.
THE doctors of Mount Clemens were
invited to act as pall-bearers at the fune-
RAJ of DIR. Decker, but one of them
bluntly refused, giving as a reason that
one of the other pall-bearers was q
homeopath. ----E8nSsSRw -
FRED BOWEN, rs years OF age, Was
killed at Church's mills, Gratiot county,
by getting entangled III the emery wheel
belt and being whirled around the shaft
The top of his head was torn off, one
leg was broken off in two pieces, and
an arm torn from his body. They were
compelled to cut the belt in three pieces
in order to free the body.
THE mother of Senator Brackley
Shaw, who died in Dover, Lenawee
county, was 80 years of age, and until
near death retained her mental faculties
in remarkable degree. Senator Shaw's
father was a soldier in the war of 1912,
who with his wife settled in Lenawee
county in 1886. Mrs. Shaw was the
mother of eight children, six of whom
survive her.
BILLS appropriating money for the
following objects and to the amounts
stated, says the Lansing Republican of
the 9th inst, have passed both branches
of the Legislature and received the Gov
errors approval
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1881-06-17

q. Manistee, MtcOsta, U-ctolH, WtNIUru ffU9o
- Antrim, Benzie, Charevox, Emmett, Grand
M,ssaukee ................... 40, 1913
90 Altoona, Alpens. CheboyRan, Crawford,
Gladwn, Iosco, Montgomery, Ogemaw,
mon 49, SOC
40 Ray and Tuscola ........... ......... 80, $40
81 Chippewa, Delta. Mackinac, Marquette,
OLE Menominee. schoo craft .............53,9 1913
80. Blraga, Houghton, Is.e Roya.e keewenaw,