davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1881-10-12

The landlord himself had answered tho
guests ring. "Eb - he said. i" You don's
think the bed is clean enoughS Well, now
you look hero. Squire jones slept in 1t Mon
day night. He didn't find any fault with it.
A Chicago drummer slept In that bed Tuesday
night. He didn't find any fault. Smith, the
tin peddler, had it Wednesday night, and
Gully, the butcher. occupied It last hight. aud
none Of them complained. II the bed was
clean enough to satisfy those four men. who
are all good judges OF bed, say. sir, yours
almighty fastidious If you set up your opinior
against theirs, and find FAULT
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1881-10-12
VAN DYKES SULPHUR SOAP

superior TO all other soaps It Is combined with Sui
phur in It's pure unadulterated state which enters the
Of the skin being absorbed into the blood through
The minute capillaries and thus acts upon the skin
whether 1t be healthy in diseased condition. both
locally and constitutionally, thereby eliminating all
impurities from the blood, and exciting the skin to
healthy action. II produces a fneness, purity and
fresh the complexion which is unequaed, and
can be produced by other No toilet, nursery
bathroom is complete without It, II the skin
soft clear pure white and healthy is cleansing. de-
Ing removes dandruf chatting. ulcers sores. eruptions
roughness and redness OF the skin relieves itching
burning and singing Of the skin. and irritation OF
biting and singing insects will relieve Itching Piles
when nothing else will have any effect Ask for VAN
DYKES SULPHUR SOAP insist upon 10, and take no
imitation. Sold by druggists. Aschenbacb & Miller,
Proprietors No. s0i Caowhin street. Philadelphia Pa
Dec. %, l6S0.-ly
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1881-10-12

A HAPPY HoME.-Whst is sweeter on this
earth than happy home-a home where love
is law, and discord is unknown? Such a
place is retreat from trouble and care-a
resting place for the weary, fountain of joy
where thirsting hearts may find all they crave,
blessed spot where memory loves to dwell
If you have such home, prize IL as you prize
the noblest of treasures. If your homo 10 not
happy, try, by forbearance and gentleness and
affection, to make it so. The happy home Is
the noblest product of earth, and the vestibule
of heaven. Our Young People,
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1881-10-12

Is the Best Hair Restorative and Hair Dressing known
II preserves soens and beauties the hair and gives
IL rich lustre. af
II is richly periumed and renders the of pomades
hair oils &C. UNI ecessary. e Si
1t Is excellent for irritating infamed scalp.
II turns raDcid. ~ f+---->s7
1t is made from the OF the Valley of casbbre
ahd being entirely free from Lead Sulphur aud other
poison and irritating substances highly priced
by thousands who have used 1t. -
II has worldwide reputation because IL does Its
work effectually
TO give public opportunity ofthorougly testing
its xceleut qualities. we have put into the market
large bottle for 90 cents Your Druggist sells it.
Manufactured at N w. 3D. and Cailowhill Sts.,
Pbia., Pa.
Dec 10. 1880.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1881-10-12

for all ordinary diseases of Horses Cattle
Sheep aud Swine. It cures and prevents CHICKEN
CHOLERA. Your COW is certain to yield 20 CENT.
BETTER MILK BUTTER. Stock Fdttems
One Fourth less Feed!
Being in possession of large number of excellent
testimonials, subjoin a few ~
/ have been using your Cattle Powder far horses
cows, chickens and pigs, and find 10 FiRsT.cfAss
thing-George Bond, Germantown, Pa.
Please send me half gross of Cattle Powder have
used two packs on my COW and chickens. The COW
gave nearly twice the quantity of milk that she did be-
FORE and gave twice the amount of butter My chick
dying but cured immediately afterI had
used the powder. Yours truly, Jonas Pasouf. Dallas
N. c.
have used and compared your Cattle Powder with
all Others and say IL the best for horses cattle
sheep, hogs, &c have tried 1t poultry for many
complaints, with success III every case.-Jonathan
Weaver, Berry burg Pa.
Last summer you sent me package of your powder
which gave to my poultry, and have not had one
droopy turkey or chicken sinee.-Mrs' Wm Knapp,
Orange, N Y.
Send me pack or two Of your Cattle Powder. The
pack get from you last winter cured the chicken
cholera gave of 1t To neighbOr and 1t cured
his chickcns.-John Williams, Spruce Vale Ohio.
Address for pamphlet full Of useful information
for the farmer, horscman or dairynan
63a4 +. A. MILLER,
Ssi Arch ST. PHILA, Pa.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1881-10-12


THE ORIGINAL PENNv.--The old penny hi
England, as In other countries, was of silver,
and its appearance throughout the earliest
time Of Its history would rather astonish
those who know nothing of numismatic lore.
From the Saxon times, in which 1t was the
only piece extant, till those of Edward l, il
was stamped with square cross. This ena.
bled the coin TO be readily broken into
halves or quarters, which then served tho
purpose of half pence or farthings. But tho
latter coin was not much inferior to the value
of the present English penny, inasnuch as
the the unbroken pieces was valued at ono
thirtieth of mark, or threepence sterling.
At this time five of them seem to have made
a shilling, or shilling so that the relations
between what are now chief English silver
and bronze coins have entirely altered In the
course Of six centuries. King Edward, who
reformed the coinage, like every thing else
was the first to issue pennies without the In
denied cross and to make UP for the loss OF
the queer-shaped half-pennies aud farthings
hitherto in use, supplemented the silver coin
age with circular pieces, bearing tho same
value and denomination. He fired the stand
ard Of the penny, Moreover, by ordering that
1t should weigh thirty-two grains Of we'll
grown wheat, or, which was probably more
accurate test, that twenty pennies should
weigh one ounce.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1881-10-12
T61T All other linimeDts have failed
al II ~ TRY DIR. WARES
ELECTRIC RELIEF!

BY taking internally ii will cure cholera, cholera
morbus, diarrhea, dysentery, cramp, collie. asthma.
phthisic influenza, spasms, sick headache. morning
sickness heartburn, stomach. pain in the back
sunstrokc. Applied externally, Il will relieve you
of rheumatism. neuralgia sore throat lumbago ear
pneumonia frost bites. bruises sprains burns scalds
Wounds contracted tendons lcucorrhGa swollen joints,
stngs and bites of insects Sold by druggists and
keepers generally. Wholesale depot, N. w. Sd
and CallowhiIi SITS, Philadelphia Pa.
June 23.-ly.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1881-10-12
JOSH BILLINGS PH1EosopHr.

In sadness the soul IL at rest
Envy Ia the most subtle kind OF pralxe.
Perseverance, wlnss All possible thilgf
were once impdsaibls.
AE long az tsnaptashnhs kxist mas kan
never Do konsid6red safe.
He who IL good society for hihaeif re az
ways good society for others.
Kindness II the galIantry ov good breeding,
deiikately expressed.
All cunning men are IL dull one side an
they are sharp on the other.
Men ov talent kan tell you how they reach
results. Men ov genius seldom kan.
Thar h nothing that fits man more ludi-
krously than IN artydshal impudence.
Buty IL power without plan, suckccss
withouta science, problem without proof:
Thare may be such q thing az chance, but
IT.
shall always kontend that no idle man kan
be happy or honest, emmy CRATE length ov
time.
It IL possible for man tn live Ia the
world regardless ov its bad op:nyuns, but not
ov its good.
Knowledge IL power, but not always for
good, it liz the DEVILS strength az well az the
saints.
The greatest cyclists are always finding
fault with themselves the only kure liz to-
agree with them.
1t liz the little things that make life happy
or miserable one elephant to ten miityun
muskeeters IL the average.
Eternal vigilance IL not only the price ov
liberty, 1t IL the price ov everything we hay
got and expekt to keep.
The most agreeable people are those who
hav not got SO mulch branes but what they
feel obliged to be good-natured.
Those who hav made the greatest reputa.
shuns have had more difficulty in sxtsfying
themselves than the world al large.
Forms and ceremonys not only run this
world, but regulate it; IL it want for them
loafer wouldn't kno on whitch side ov
the fence he belonged
| The best thoughts ov the best writers hav
possibly kost them the least trouble, but let
no weak writer imagine sutch thing lie liabie
to happen to him.
| Habits are weakness. The weaker man
IL the more fixed habits he haz. A strong
man changes his habits, az he dun his pantcr-
looms, TO suit the ockashun.
Thare IL pedantry In all things the man
who makes mouse trap too small for a
mouse to enter, however Ingenious II may be-
is small-sized pedant in mouse traps.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1881-10-12

Rev. DIR. Howard Crosby, of New York,
who has been prominent for several years in
consequence of his efforts to found an associa-
ton of moderate drinkers, preached sermon
recently in which he handled legislatures and
municipal authorities in very sweeping
fashion. The other humane and charitable
societies are helped generously and without
stint, he said, but rs soon as aid was wanted
for the cause of temperance, {" the Murphys
and the Hogans of the legislature rose up MS
one man, and our request was refused. We
have the whole army of rum against u.s.
However, experience shows that under the
local option system the whole army of rum
has been beaten in detail. and can be beaten
again. DIR. Crosby complains that in New
York all the officials, high and low, are band
ed In opposition TO practical reforms In the IL
quor traffic. When the police commissioners
tried to enforce the excise laws the mayor in-
terfered and indicted them. The law said
that none but hotels should be licensed to
sell liquor on the premises, and the
excise commissioners made every rum
hole in in New York "hotel," from Iea-
nut stand to the American Institute Fair
Bnilding. The rum interest, according to DIR.
Crosby, has hold of the departments,
the courts and attorney generals
office. The secret Of the whole matter was
summed up very briefly by the reverend doc
tor. The fact is, " said he, "the rum selling
is at the bottom of politics. Caucuses are
held and nominations made In rum holes and
their keepers are often made aldermen or sent
to the legislature.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1881-10-12

1t is perhaps as well for Paris, writes Nasty,
that 1t had an Emperor, and possibly 1t would
have been better for the United States had
she had King In her earlier days. For .
Republic will never do toward the beautifying
city or country what an Emperor will. l
helped to elect member of Congress once,
who, finding that single door in the Capitol
at Washington cost $50, 900, exclaimed against
the extravaganza of the country ''Why,"
said he. ga good two-inch pine plank door,
painted white, with three coats of paint, eau
be bad In Upper Sandusky, for IS, and it
would do just as we'll as that Internal bronze
thing covered all over with igures.'
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1881-10-12

A Galveston school teacher asked . new
boy: "If carpenter wants to cover roof
fifteen feet wide by thirty broad with shingles
Eve feet broad by twslvs ioiig, how ihaay
shingles will lie need ~ The boy took up
his bat and slid for tbs door. aWhste are
you going % asked tbs teacher. IL find
i Carpenter. He ought to know that better
than any Of We fellefss"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1881-10-12

An HONEST TwA1N.--I have heard inci-
dents Of the same character related of other
parties but the following transpired 10 the
town Of my old home, 10 the years when my
father was boy. aud to him am indebted
for it:
1t was when the principal part of what is
now the town of Norway, Me-, was called
Rustield, In honor of one ofthe Oldest settlers
Captain Henry Rust, who removed thither
and Ichabod Bartlett traded COWS. Eugent
owned cow which was to 60 farrow through
the Winter, while the COW of the other was to
come in in the Spring, with a calf Hence
the desire for an exchange. Bartlett had only
the one COW and he wanted milk through the
Winter.
Well, they brought their animals together,
aud agreed to trade. But how? Shouldn't
it be an even swap, or was one animal worth
moro than anothers Certainly, Nugent's
COW was the better looking-fatter, and a
year younger than the other. At length,
however, they left it thus:
Said Bartlett: Look you, friend Nugent.
I'll leave it entirely with you to Judge for
yourself; and I'll judge for myself. If you
shall think on the first day Of April next, that
my COW was worth the most, you shall briog
to me a bushel of good winnowed wheat and
I, il think yours was worth the most, will
bring the same to you"
To that Mr.. Nugent agreed freely and so
the matter was left.
Well-the first of April came. The COW
which Nugent had taken of his friend had a
fine calf three weeks old and he felt that his
trade had been SO particularly good that, in
stead of the one bushel of wheat, as had been
agreed, he put up two bushels slowed it into
his light wagon, aud started off for his friend
place, two miles distant. He had gone about
half the distance, when, by the edge of the
pond he met Ichabod Bartlett
HELLO Where now, Ichabod?"
"Why, Sam, this is the first of April
Don't you remember
q Yes remember"
Well-I'm on my way to your place with
the boot. And, dye see, your COW has done
so well--has given so much more milk than
had any reason to expect-that l have put in
two bushels of wheat instead of one. l hope
you Il be satisfied"
And then Nugent told what he had done.
And we can readily believe that thenceforth
the friendship of the twain was not to be
shaken.
Verify such glimpses of real life are health
full and refreshing.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1881-10-12

A mercenary little boy overheard CONVEX
sation between his parents concerning a we'd
ding that was soon to come off, and recalled
the subject at the breakfast table the next
morning by asking the following questions /:
q Papa, what do you want 70 give the bride
away for? Can't you sell her ?"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1881-10-12
DR.. WARMERS PUMONAIS

is household word with those who have used IT, be-
1t does Its work quickly and efecually IN of
Coughs, Colds, Hoarseness, Influenza, Asthma Bron-
ehitis WhOoping Cough, Group, Pains in the Breast,
Consumption and Bleeding of tie Lungs. Only 10
bottle. Ask your druggist for it. Wholesale Depot
N. w. Cor. Sd and Caowhill Sts Phila. Pa. Sep y.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1881-10-12

"NoTHINe FINISHED l"--I once had the
curiosity to look into little girls work box.
And what do you suppose found
Well, in the first place, l found bead
puise," about half done there was, however,
no prospect of its ever being finished, for the
needles we're out, and the silk upon the spools
was all tangled aud drawn into a complete
wisp. Laying this aside, took up nice
piece of perforated paper, upon which was
wrought one board of Bible, and beneath it
the words, g love- but sohat she loved
was left for me to guess. Beneath the Bible
board found sock, evidently commenced
for some baby foot but it had come just up
to remain. Near to the sock was needle
book one cover Of which was neatly made,
and upon the other, partly finished, was
marked, "To my dear"
l need not, however, tell you all that
found there but this much l can say, that
during my travels through the work-box,
found not a single article complete J, and silent
as they were, these half-fnished forsaken
things told me sad story about that little
girl.
They told me that, with heart full of
generous affection, with head full of useful
and pretty projects, all of which she had both
the means and the skill to carry into effect,
she was still useless child--always doing but
never accomplishing her work. 1t was not a
want of industry, but want of perseverance,
Remember, my dear young friends, that it
matters but little what great thing we merely
undertake. Our glory is not in that, but in
what we accomplish. Nobody in the world
cares for what we mean to do {; but everybody
will open their eyes by-and-by to see what
men and women and little children haze done
-Chitdren's Friend.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1881-10-12
;RocEas SELL AscHENBAcH MILLER's
FAMILY CHOCOLATE.

article superior in quality and lower in price than
any other utfe market. prominent and experienced
New York physician gives as his opinion that ehoco
late preferable to coffee because adds
the body life to the exhausted BRAIN quets the
system harmonizes the workings the digest
i've organs, anu gives purity TO the blood
For a super6ne Injection ask your confectioner for
our Sweet spieed Vanilla Chocolate. Ascbenbach &
Miller. Sd end Callowbl SITS. Phila Pa. Sept 20.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1881-10-12
Or. JONES' TARAXAcUM TONIC

ar Dyspepsia Medicine, Vegetable Compound whose
virtues have stood test Of forty years Is infable
in the cure Of Dyspepsia, General Debility Chronic
Heartburn, St. Vitus Dance Pain Ia the stomach Back
and Chest Particularly adapted TO all Female Disea-
SEES no matter what the age Of the patient may be.
Price 75 cents. Sold by druggists. 9
ASA JONES, Propr, $40 N. Sd St, Phila- Pa.
June 23-1v. s--s
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1881-10-12

The YORKTOWN CENTENNIAL.--Th time
for the celebration of the Yorktown Ceuten-
NAL draws near. 1t was on the 10Th of Octo-
Der that Lord CORVALLIS surrendered +; but he
had long before that lost heart and hope. He
had little reason to expect that the occupation
Of Yorktown would be followed by any re-
trieval of the reverses which he and his cause
at his own instance, but in obedience to in
structions received from headquarters. Since
there was nothing better to be done, Sir
Henry Clinton had directed him to establish
himself at some defensible position in Vir-
ginia, and as the situation of Yorktown ad-
mitted of naval cooperation, it was chosen as
being the best suited for the purpose. Corn
wallis accordingly entrenched himself there
with all that was left of the British army. He
entered it on the first of August and at once
began the work of fertilization. 1t was not
until the 2Sth of September that the French
and American forces under the command of
General Washington, pursued CORVALLIS to
that last ditch in which he had taken refuge
Their force of 10, 900 men was double that of
the English, and upon their approach the
outer works were abandoned and the enemy
sought shelter within their Utmost lines. The
investment of the town was completed on the
Both of September. Nine days later the first
parallel was opened, and after that siege was
conducted with such vigor and effect that on
the 18th of October Lord CORVALLIS, seeing
that resistance and retreat were alike imprac-
ticable, offered to capitulate, and, two days
later, terms having been arranged, surrender
ed with all his force.
Such in brief is the story of yorktown. 1t
is familiar as twice-told tale, but when
will it lose its interest for Americans or its
significance for all the world of civilization?
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1881-10-12
MISCELLANY.
i STRANGER IN THE scHooL.

A large school Of boys and girls were con-
ming over their lessons. The teacher tried
hard to keep order to make all take to their
studies, to help those who needed aid, and to
make all happy. He opened the doors and
windows to give them fresh air; but all
would not do. Some felt discouraged with
their lessons, some felt sleepy, some felt cross
and everything seemed to drag and linger.-
By and by the heavy tread of foot on the
doorstep was heard, and without knocking, In
walked hard-faced man, somewhat old 10
years, but with firm step. The children at
first felt afraid of him, but they soop found
that beneath his hard looks there was bright
eye, a pleasant smile, aud kind heart. But,
instead of sitting down and staring at the
school, be sat down by the side of one of the
little girls who was trying to get her spelling
lesson.
There were tears of Encouragement in her
eyes.
"Well. what's the matter with our little
onep E"
"Oh, sir, can't get my lesson. It's so
long, and the words are SO hard. can never
learn theml"
"Let us sec. How many words are there
Ia one column"
Fifteen, SIR"
"And how many columns in your lesson p''
"Three, SIR"
Every well. That makes forty-five words
to be learned. How many of these are easy,
so that you can spell them at once9 Count
them"
Twenty-Five, SIR"
"Then you have twenty which you call
hard. Now, take the first one, look at 1t
sharp, see every letter in it, count the letters,
see just how the word looks. Now shut your
eyes and see if you can still see just how the
word looks. Spell it over softly TO yourself
There, now you spelled it right. Now do so
with the next word, and the next, till you
have them ALL
go, sir, that is very easy. can get my
lesson now
Thus he went from seat to seat. and helped
all. The scholars forgot the heat They all
had their lessons the teacher smiled and
praised them, and all were happy. just as he
was leaving, the teacher thanked the stranger,
and hoped he would soon call again.
"Oh," said he, "just send for me at any
time, and I will come and give any one
lift"
Pray. sir, by what name shall we ask for
you?
" Mr.. Hardstudy, sir, at your SERVICE"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1881-10-12

A bore is an unlucky animal, who is most
Welcome after he has gone.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1881-10-12
$50 REV. ARD.

NIFTY DOLLARS WILL BE PAID FOR CORN
G of Rheumatism that NAPLES ELEC-
TRIO BALM will not IL the directions fol-
lowed One box OF the Balm will go three times furth
than any Linment. 1t IL the Largest Box OF Oint
ment la the woridonly rs cents box. II is Of
the finest Preparations In the market for Burns. II
warranted to draw the fire out in ten minutes. Give 1t
2 trial and you will like it, For sale by all Medicine
Dealers You will always find good stock of the Balm
at TIDDs Pharmacy, No. es4 Broad Street, Chambers
burg, Trenton, N. j.
Sept. q, 136f.-Su.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1881-10-12

Connection Is made at Manunka Chunk with Delaware
Lackawanna 4 Western Railroad. At Iehigh Junction
with Lehigh Valley. Lehigh Susquehanna, Morris
Essex and New Jersey Central Railroads At Lambert
vile with Pennington Railroad. At Trenton with
trains to and from New York, Camden, &c.
For further information time tables which can be
obtained at the ticket Offices
FRANK THOMSON, J. r. WOOD,
General Manager. Gen. Pass. Agent.
+. W. JACKSON, Gen'l Sup't, U. r. II. of N. ]. Div
J. A ANDERSON. Supt. Bevidere Div.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1881-10-12

Two weeks later the marriage took place,
aud Penelope is now a resident Of Chicago.
The Wild free life of the West suits her ex-
actly, and on Monday afternoon when she is
hanging out the clothes, and the southwest
breeze huns merrily through the clothes pins
in her mouth, and careens her eyeglasses to
leeward, che thinks of the Wagner concert.
and says softly to herself, "After all can
still tread on the eats tail when the feeling of
loneliness comes over me-