The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1881-06-02
IN. Y. Times.1
The Amateur Heather of New England.

Now and then there arises a small
boy with a gigantic intellect and a
degree of courage which marks him
as born leader of his race. It is the
exceptional small boy Of this variety
expeditions against the Indians and
organizes gangs of juvenile ghway-
men. That these enterprises do not
meet with success is due to forces be-
yond- his control, but they display
the greatness Of his intellect and the
boldness Of his character. Of this
type Of small boy is Master Jaggers,
of North Meriden, Conn, who lately
devised an ingenious and entirely nov
ell scheme for arresting the flow of
American copper coins towards the
heathen pocket of juvenile India
Some two months since Master Jag
gers, who had painfully accumulated
the sum Of twenty-five cents, with a
view to an expected circus, was COM
PEELED to consecrate fifteen cents to the
hated small-boys of India. 1t was
this last of long series of pecuniary
outrages that determined him to take
bold stand against missionary assess
ments. and he therefore summoned a
mass-meeting Of small boys ON Satur-
day afternoon at Deacon Pratt's barn
ostensibly with view to rats, but
really in order to propose a plan Of
defense against heather encroach-
ments.
Master Jaggers made a moving
speech, in which he glowingly described
the luxury in which the heather
small boy wallows. He amt washed
and he can wear just as little cloze as
heserminetar. There amt no school
for him, nor no Sunday, you bet. He
can go smimmin' every day, and can
just lay off on the bank and see the
crocodiles scoop in washerwomen and
such. Then his back yard is chuck
full Of tigers and hipopomuses, and
no end OF snakes, and he can steal his
dads gun and shoot 'em out of the
back window. This is the chap that
rakes in all our money, and say it.
more'n we ought to stand. Now,
move that we all turn heather our
selves. The folks can't make us wash
and go to school if we're heather, and
all the other boys will have to put up
their money for u.s." 1t is needless to
say that this speech was received with
tremendous applause. Howls of exc
Grafton went up as the luxuries of the
hated heather were described and the
proposal to adopt heathenism as 6
profession was unanimously supported
A slight temporary opposition was
manifested by Master Sabin, who
maintained that in order to become
heather they must first have theil
eyes put out-a theory which was
based upon misinterpretation of the
hymn which speaks of ''the heather
in his blindness" The objector, how.
ever, was soon convinced Of his error
and expressed thereupon a hearty de-
sire to become heather.
The details of the scheme were al
arranged by Master Jaggers. 4
plaster bust of S. ]. Tilden was de
: cided to be ugly enough to serve a
an idol, and the amateur heather
placed it on an empty barrel in tn
v barn, and bowed down to it with mucl
gravity. They discarded all thei
e clothing except a towel twisted aroun
. the waist, and blackened their entir
: bodies with burnt cork. There coul
= = be no doubt that they were very sue
cessful heathen in appearance, and a
it was late in the afternoon, they re
solved to spend the night in the bal
to breakfast on the spoils of Deaco
Pratt's orchard, and to attend Sunda
school in body, in order to collet
tribute from the Christian boys. Tt
Sunday school opened as usual tt
next morning, although the absenC
Of II boys created good deal of r