The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1881-07-22
Out of Town Manners.
Points OF Etiquette to Be Observed at
Watering Places and Country Resorts.

watering e4aces ana country Resorts.
A writer in Harper's Bazaar says: 'It is a
noted fact that all kinds Of adventurers make
their start in our society at a watering-place
There is no severity of etiquette possible at a
hotel where the picnic, the lawn tennis, the
boating party, the whist of an evening or the
cotillion brings all the guests together. 1t is
etiquette to bow and speak to these friends Of
day, andevery person who has dignity and
reserve of character can we'll afford to do so.
But when it comes to a close acquaintance, a
filtration or love affair, which grows natural
ly out of this easily begotten intimacy, how
much harm have the disguised eouriers,
the falss Princes, the uncertain women of for
eign antecedents done at watering-place and
after.
Ladies should not lounge about the piazzas
in tea gowns or appear at the early dinner in
too full toilet at a large wateriDg-place 1t is
always vulgar. A quiet style of dress and an
absence of iewelry are in the best taste. To
conduct herself so tlst she will not be conspic-
uous, is the instinct of every well-bred lady.
She dresses quietly she thinks Of the small
proprietes; she is low-voiced and polite to ev-
cry one; she does not seize upon the best chair
upon the piazza or the most desirable window
IN her way She tries to help along the amuss.
ments of the place, and is the first to suggest
private theatricals, the taheaux, the charades
or to invite Mrs Tremulo to sing those pretty
ballads which every one likes. A well-bred,
aAnlaole woman caa give tone to whole sea-
son at one OF the smaller watering places.
Saratoga is too vast for this. 1t is great
EllLt6rlng SERPENT. with tnOuSand colorc
and always changing. 1t would seem impossi-
BILE that any one could be conspicuous or talked
about at Saratoga, yet the season always pro-
duces some female Curtius who has iumped
into the gulf and does contrive to be talked
about. Perhaps she does not dislike IT, unfor-
tunately. She calls it fame.
At Newport, which is happy combination
of home and watering place, the public effect
is better than at any of our fashionable resorts.
There is very little gossip, very little vulgarity
and very little that is to be condemned. 1t
presents the pleasant spectacle of group of
elegant people who are all enjoying themselves
in a very quiet and unobtrusve way. There
IS no Trouville display on the beach. ~
Among men there is generally p. scapegoat
who contrives to fasten the scandalous tongues
upon himself at large watering-place. He is
a gambler, drunkard, and worse, and the
amusement of the scandal-lnongers is to invent
some new tale of horrors in which Gilmarten
plays distinguished part, whether guilty or
not. Il went away from Long Branch for
week. said a wit of Philadelphia, and when
got back found no one had rag of character
left 1t is this wholesale gossip and SANDER,
this love of dissecting character, which is the
great bane of watering-place life. Seen from
q philosophical point of view, our watering
place life ought to bo new, refreshing, delight
ful. We go from all parts of the country TO
meet each other at some charming spot, to H.
terchange experiences, to gain new ones. The
health-giving waters of Saratoga, the breeZes
of Long Branch, and the reyivifying air of
Narragansett ought to make us more amiable
and more hearty. 1t seems, however,
as if we missed something, or failed somewhere
for there is a vulgarity in the very air of GER
tain large watering places.
Who does not know, too, the bore of the wa
tering-place?-he who will set his after-dinner
chair directly in front of the prettiest woman
and keep off everybody else, who insists upon
Joining every tete-a-tete, and breaking up ev-
cry morning conclaVe of EN- broideresgeS? Who
does not know the old tsbby who puts her
fangs into every character, the selfish man
who gets all the good things at table, the mar
ried firt who gives disreputable air to one
corner of the piazza, the fast man who drives a
tandem, and the gay and vivacious widow who
accompanies him? 1t is a kaleidoscope of char
acter; every one is en- ecidence 1t is the great
white light which spares nobody.
And yet hundreds of the excellent and we'll
bred people, neither fast nor furious, neither
hirtatious nor loud, will go and enjoy these
very piazzas. There is amusement in the spec
ldCi6J LicN Say. IL perhaps CO5bS Well-Dr6Q p0O-
pie very little trouble to Keep their tompers in
q crowded fswatering-place. but some people
do not keep their tempers. Any display of
temper over a lost seat at the table at Saratoga,
for instance, is very ludicrous. and destroys a
PERSONS prestige. Women should never quar-
rel with each other in public. Every one re-
spects woman who always keeps her temper
as the laying is, las if it were something to be
bottled up) 1t is doubtful If fashionable wo-
men always love each other, but it is good taste
uyotp rir1-p MI laaa fo IN In 10
one of the few occasions when dissimulation is
to be advised as one Of the virtues. Female
friendships are often but the result of propin-
quity. Their roots are not very deep. Rival
ries are constant, and GOODNESS and quarrels are
sometimes inevitable We should at least pay
society, however, the respect of not troubling
it with our animosities, publicly exposed.
Women should not talk too much at a water
ing-place, even if they talk very well. Perhaps
the better they talk the less they should dis
play that delightful gift. Some one is sure to
saw fOh, she is talking to make an impress
sion.' Many women with high spirit, wit and
power of expression, while simply pouring
forth their charming eloquence, are supposed
to be talking for effect. All great talents and
great beauty are dangerous gifts. Beauty is of
itself suspicious ciro imstar CO. so few of ushave
it. said Sydney Smith. There are many hatreds
and antipathies engendered by the pursuit OF
pleasure in our hot-house atmosphere of water
ing place society 1t is doubtful if any gay
and idle life improves US. Still, as more peo-
pie are thoughtless than bad, it would be alb
surd to suppose that the cultivation OF the So
cial graces should always result IN crop of
weeds. If we could only learn to disarm criti-
cism by an elegant reserve of manner, to be
polite, graceful, and not too effusive at water
ing-place, we should escape much malignant
and disagreeabe speech. The young aspirant
for fashion must expect to receive some sharp
wounds, however. She is going into. the front
of battle, and she must buckle on her armor.
No one should wear his heart on his sleeve,
or disclose his innermost personalities OF
thought or character, at watering-place.
woman is always laughed at who talks famil-
iarly of her servants, her health, her husband,
or her daughters trousseau. Do not brag at a
watering-place. There are some people who
must brag; it is their daily bread, the breath
of their nostrils; they must brag or die. Such :
people are the favorite ridicule OF watering
place Circle and deservedly so. Never show
an irritability over small things at watering
place. Never scold the servants. or complain
of the dinner or the beds, except to the proper
authority. Bear heat and draught and dust
and noise rather than make others uncomfort-
able. Remember you always have the privil-
ege of going away. No one is chained to \
watering place. Do not be fussy about your
supposed rights; always yield precedence; 1t is
the wisest course as well IS the best.
Be kind to those who are i'll. A watering
nace hetel is dreadful place to be i'll in.
Nothing is so reviving as sympathy. a knock
at tho door, bunch OF howers--how little 1t
costs YOU and how much good it may do the
sufferer in noisy bedroom. A pleasant
salutation, equally removed from
too efflorescent subserviency and from fr1gid
coldness, is a very popular aud becoming thing
at watering-place. Remember that you are
all of one family for the lime being, ard that
the good morning and the good evening never
yet hurt anybody"
Worcester Gazette.l
Too Utterly Too.