Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1881-01-29
sAaAc15Y OF ANIMALS


sAGAcIiY OF ANIMALS
I Striped Bass that is One Of the Wonders
OF the Word
Washington Postl
81 see an item in one OF the papers
about dog down in Georgia thai s5ole q
nickel and bought some meat. | ike
stories about animals, because have some
very sagaeious animals myself. Did you
ever hear about that striped bass of mine
got him two years ago up III Pennsyl-
vania He's the most sagaciUus cUss IL
the world.
Don't think I know him, replied the
city editor. TO whom the question was ad-
dressed. Is he particularly smart?'
g He done thing recently that made
some talk in cur neighborhood. We had
company for supper one night, and the
cat stole the meat while my wife wasn't
looking. Took it right off the stove.
What do you suppose that fish did? He
just Topped out of his tub and c'awled
into thai pan, and began to cook himself
He didn't propose to have any one 90
away from my house hungry. My wife
snatched him out OF the pan and slung
him back into the water Ten minutes
afterward she found him trying to scale
himself with a piece of tin. Fact. And
she had to send tor some more meat before
he'd let up. He's knowing one, that
bass. A couple of weeks ago he had row
with servant girl. 1t was her place TO
feed him with spiders, and she forgot him
for two days He didn't say much, but
+t,sr1 Ior- ba -, Il
tear things. How do you think he got
even with that girl?"
"Hayen't the remotest idea, said the
city editor
"Why, he just went and hid some
spoons in her trunk. We missed 'em,
searched her room, and discharged her
without character. The way we found it
out was his trying to play the same dodge
on my wife for not letting him sleep in the
teakeJtle during the cold snap 1t takes
the whole family TO get ahead OF that fish
Yesterday the water froze stiff in his tub
and he put up danger signal and was
skating around it on his tail, and trying to
fall in when we found him. | broke the
ice for him, and that night he sent me a
bill for SIG, because the sudden thaw had
reduced his stock, and he telg he must
raise the price, gave trade dollar ior
him. and cheap he was"
Aa I should say, conceded the city
editor
He's remarkable bass. One night
NOT long ago I heard the derne6est row You
ever seen. Went down stairs. and there
ne was, sitting on the side of the tub. and
a class OF cockroaches was reading Il Is
a man. Who Is tie man? Has he boil on
his chin? He has two boils on his chin
What shall the man do? SHALL he wipe Of
his chin? The man shall wipe off his chin
That iish has got hard up and started g
night school, and was making $50 month.
Or course I had to bust that-coudn's
stand the noise. Would you like 30 publish
something about him His name IS Abe
lard aud Heloise."
What do you call him that for?'
"'Cause he likes it, and cause he's all
brains and affection. When l was sick, a
month ago, he took my medicine for me,
and when my son froze his ear that fish
went around with his head bandaged up.
just out of sympathy. We made MIN a
nee Christmas present. now. You bet -
What was it p inquired the city edi-
tor.
A rat-trap."
4" What DOES he do with rat trap?'
lie sets it and plays mouse Hon
dart into that trap and holler like bul!
TIL some one lets him out. You just reckon
he has fun to himself. He broke the trap
the other day, but he didn't notice it. So
he went in and sat there for forty.eight
hours waiting for the spring to catch him. p"
Can't you bring him down and let one
see him?' asked the city editor.
Well, not exactly" stammerad The
stranger. Hes busy now, and viii be
the balance of the winter. He's getting
up the plans for ship-canll. His idea IS
to put the ses-serpent right across the
Isthmus aud ruu the shipa down his GhF9at
He's got to swallow you know, and Ttea
they reach the Pacific side he cuts open tbe
serpent ana they sail ont. Besides that,
he's lame"
Hurt himself?"
Yes. Yesterday morning he was walk
ing around ii the yard, taking q sort Of
siasta and he fell and sprained his knee. >"
His what?' demanded the city editor.
His fin, said the stranger, correcting
himself lie fell over ten loot fence
and came down Oh his thumb
Do you know you're an awful liar -
asked tie city editor.
No. l amt Haven't I got as much
right TO a.fsh as g Georgia man to a dog
Amt my 6sh as smart as his pup? Be-
sides, my fish has got buuions ard the
spring halt, and he can lick any derned dog
IL the State Of Georgia now. you hear
me, and the proprietor OF Abelard and
Heloise marched away, Offering to bet that
his fiah could repeat more Bible verses
than any Cur outside Of Presbyterian
orphan asylum for hundred TO twenty,
money up.