The Pickens sentinel. [volume] (Pickens, S.C.) 1871-1903, 1881-12-15
VOL. XII. fl" NO. IA.
HUMORS OF THE DAY.

AMAN may have tenants and yet have
no payments .'.. ... =. III. ,,,T,i.,oyl
THE concern that always makes money
the mint ~..... ....a. -,
THERE is divorceity of opinion be-
tween many men and their wives. 7'
HE child never sees the necessity OF
strict obedience until it becomes ap-
parent. ....~--+s-.ges.-,ss-,.4
a MAN can possibly have no affection
for rheumatism, and yet he will do al
most anything for it. .; :..a. ..,.,
A MAN never feels poor when he has q
dollar bill to wrap on the outside of
his roll of ones. .--LoaOeU Citizen.
FAIR umpire ut lawn tennis-"Only
keep your head, Mr. Jones, and you are
sure to have n soft thing"
AN OBSERVING laundryman has dis
covered that the time for him to
catch soft water is when 1t is raining
hard. ..
The Philadelphia Chronicle- Herald
thinks that Eve was n giddy young thing
because she got married when she was q
day old. - ..
IAN THAT'S the pillar of Hercules P''
she said, adjusting her silver spectacles.
GraciouF, what's the rest of his bod
clothes like ?"
"BIND up my wounds, bring me an
other piece of stovepipe and let the bat.
tie proceed Charge, tinker, charge
On, stovepipe, on p
WHAT is right in the concrete may
be left in the abstract" remarked senior
Alley as he pulled his foot out of his
shoe and left that article sticking to the
newmade pavement"
TnE worst "spell of the season comes
from a Dakota postmaster, who ac-
knowledged the receipt of q package Of
postal cards from the Holyoke factory,
in these words: "Received the pac-
akichitch."
"No man was ever elected President
who was born in city. And yet, de-
spite this fact, boys continue to be born
in cities They evidently don't aspire
to the Presidency. They prefer to be-
come members of base ball clubs"
A FRENCHMAN learning the English
language complained of the irregularity
of the verb "to CO." the present tense
of which some wag had written out for
| him as follows: 81 60; thou startest ;
he departs we lay tracks you cut
sticks; thou absquatulate or skedad-
de-"
"VE1n, mein frent," said ON old Jew
! in London who, after having recovered
from fit which, it was thought, would
terminate in death, saw q crucifx that
had been thrust in his face by pioua
Catholic summoned to assist him home,
I" / can lend you only two shillings on
it."
A WESTERN Coroner's jury returned 8
verdict that the deceased came to his
mean by that?" asked q relative of the
dead man. "There are two bullet holes
in his skull" "Just so,' replied the
Coroner, che died from exposure ia
bullets"
He WAS wealthy but penurious, and
this is what he said to the suitor for his
daughters hand: eyes, you can have
! her. But you must elope with her. I
can afford the expense of swell we'd
ding, and the romance of the elopement
will make up for the lack of show and
we'll save $500 on expenses. Go it,
| Boston POST
81 MAINTAIN" cried Mr.. Quillhopper,
| excitedly, "that no man has been in
such horrible predicament that he
could not be in worse one." "That'e
all nonsense" answered the blonde
young man; Ca relative of mine was
once on the sea in an open boat for ten
days with nothing to eat; on the
eleventh day he was so hungry he had
to eat his own shoes what could be
worse than that?" "Well," said Mr..
O., slowly, che might have had to eat
some one else's!" The blonde young
man wilted.