The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1881-10-07

Absut Sneezing.
Sneezing and the manner in which
the sneeze Is sneezed Is an interesting
study in ITSELF No two people sneeze
exactly alike. A two months study OF
this spasmodic practice has fully dem
onstrated the fact that there is as much
individuality in the sneeze Of the aver
age man or woman as there Is IN the
laugh, the conversation, the walk. or
the handwriting. Some men and wom-
On sneeze IS though the effort caused
them intense pain. while others appear
to enjoy the titillating sensation in their
nostrils and enter into the spirit of the
act with pleasure depicted upon every
lineamept of their features.
The little boarding school miss trips
jauntily along the street and in turning
to note Il she is attracting due attention
happens to Inadvertently look at the
sun. In moment her nostrils begin to
tickle. and burying her face in the folds
of the neatest OF cambria handkerchiefs,
she contracts her shoulders and gives
utterance to the daintiest skick-skick.
skick " imaginable.
LILO 40b WOuSou Will y U8Sk0t uVOU
her arm-the one you can always meet
with in the market house-halts sud-
denly upon the street, bows her head
reverently, remains so for . few mo-
ments in wild expectation and then,
Strengthening up little, inhales the
air until she swells up like balloon,
then "ah-h-h-schoooooo! ah-h-h-h-
schOOO0! ah-ah-ah-skitchtSchO oh,
my!" and wabbles along wiping her in
famed nose on her apron.
The dapper little clerk walks briskly
along the street wondering If his new
clothes fit him as. he hopes they do,
and when the uafailing symptoms tell
him that he must sneeze he turns his
head over his shoulder, and without
Stacking his pace gives vent to several
short. sharp "woosh "-es, and flies
along IS if nothing had happened.
The tall. cadaverous man, whose
every look indicates the presence Of
consumption, stops short on the side
walk, nervously runs his hands into
half dozen pockets before he can find
his handkerchief. throws his head back
ward until his nose points at the City
Hall clock, and electrifies all within
hearing with q spasmodic "witcho0-
witchoO- Observation-Disclosures
o-o-o-darntheluck!" then gives his
peaked nasal organ q swipe or two and
moves painfully along. q
Two neat little daughters Of fashion
trip along the avenue confiding to each
other their bits of choice scandal, when
one of them says:
go dear! Jennie, I believe I'm going
to sneezer'
30. please DON'T" cried the other,
in horror. 1t will be awful to sneeze
right here on the street! Can't you hold
"OI-I-must. Indeed I-sck-in-
deed can't hel-schick-help it. /
-must-ah-scheet! ah-
ah-oh dear! ah-oh-h-h-ah-scheet
-chick-ah-oh! Jennie! ah-ah-
schloo-oo-oot- ah-schlootr'
And then she wipes her pearly nose
and trips along with tears in her eyes
and tells Jennie it's just too awfully
awful for any use and she does hope
nobody saw her.
The sedate matron goes about her
sneezing in q matter of-fact way. She
simply stops, bows her head and gives
utterance to q few well-develOped
"achoo's" and moves along. not caring
q continental who was observing her.
The nervous man stops while look
of pain crosses his face, draws two or
three long breaths to hurry the thing
along. then doubles himself up as if en-
deavoring to shoulder the heaviest por-
ton of his body. twists his face out of
all semblance of human being and
snorts out his Observation-Disclosures
boosh-ah-kroo-whah-oh lordr' and
leaves the spot wearing look of the
most disconsolate pain.
1t does one good to see the jolly fat
man sneeze.. He throws back his mass
i've shoulders. opens his cavernous
mouth to its fullest capacity; shuts both
eyes and fairly raises the dead with his
I" ah-schooooo! ah-sCHOOOoOOi ah-ah-
SCHOOOOO! whoope! woosh-ah-schoooo
wagh-hooo- physchoooo! Lordy, but that
was good 'unr'
There are q thousand and one other
styles of accomplished sneezing, and it
will repay any one to note the variety
and style of the various sneezers to be
met with daily upon the street.-Detroa
Free Press. .4fs