Middletown transcript., 1881-07-15

over until next week.
The man who sits down on the road to
success and waits for free ride, will
get left Whitehall Times.
The murderer who was hung for a
crime caused by intemperance took his
final drop on the scaffold. Philadelphia
San.
The colleges are busy lettering great
men 50 that they can be Unidentified if
they go astray in the hereafter. er.-Fond
du Lac Reporter.
Waiter, here's a fly in my tea"
"Thank you sir, | did not notice it."
Lays down a check for five cents extra.
Boston Post.
A young lady in New York has ap-
propriately named her dog Penny, be-
cause it was one sent Elevated
RGilaCdy Journal.
There is one good thing about this
whole business Of a mans conscience
shifting generally he isn't hit very
hard Toronto Grip.
Honesty is the best policy" But
you have to pay the premium in this
world, and realize on your insurance in
the next. .-NeaU York Elerated Rni1ecay
Journal
Comets are said to be a sign of war,
and front gates already begin to feel
the depressing efforts of the one now
visible Waterloo Observer.
There are two possible things greatly
dreaded by New Workers just now.
One is a beer famine, and we have for
gotten the other.-Norristoa0 Herald.
A fashion report says: ''Many ladies
still prefer the regular coat sleeve for
dresses" We suppose they are to be
worn about the waists. - Whitehall
Times.
Mrs. S." Agustus, my love, the doc
tor says must have change Of air. \
Augustus" All right, my dear; I'll
take you to two funerals tomorrow II
-PbiId. Item.
A New y ork man has been craZed by
rum and milk. One Of the very worst
things man can do is to mix drinks.
He should have stuck to plain rum.-
NoTriStOlCll Herald.
Among the passengers who started
for Europe last Saturday was Count
Vitsthumvoneckstaedt. He probably
rode on the stern Of the steamer and
towed his name along behind by a string
Bill Nye.
am coming by and by, you will hea1
my plaintiye cry in accents mild and
gentle as lamb; ere long III be on
deck, bringing ninety cents a peck,
sing hey the sweet potato that | am.
Eugene Field.
a fellow never thoroughly realizes
what a blooming ignoramus he has been
all his lifetime until he enters into in
tellectual converse with a Boston
schoolmarm On her summer solstice.-
NeW York Commercial.
DR.. Franklin 3 mother-in-law objected
to her daughter marrying a printer,
because there were already two printing
offices in the United States, and she
didn't think the country could support
three. Her prophetic vision was limi-
ted.-Netg Hdren Register.
"How we roam in words Of bliss,
when we sip the loving kiss, 7 says the
poet Of the Whitehall Times. Yes, how
we do But isn't it q little insipid to
sip kiss? we think kiss is best
as sort of-well eating one whole is
the best way.-Ne,0 Haren Register.
lis the devil dead, mamma ~ " No,
my child; why do you ask ~ Be
cause heard papa tell a young lady
at his store to-day not to send him
any more notes, for if you found 'em in
his pockets you would raise the devil.
Can you raise him ~ Yes, l can,
and I'm just going to, " said the mother,
as she put on her bonnet and shawl and
started for the store. --SommerrilIc
Mass. Journal.
" We're you drunk ?" asked his honor
at the central station Of a prisoner who
had been found in the gutter. "Were
/ drunk ~ Yes" "Well, the last
thing remember was seeing the City
Hall tower leaning over within foot
of my head, and squatted to get out
Of the way. If the tower is down
was sober; if it's up there yet III admit
that came awful near having an attacl
Of the vertigo. .''-DetrOit Free Press.
A HA9IMocK's WILD WAY.-A1
Illinois exchange feels called to thu
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