West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1881-10-21
A wedding in wyoming.

SamplnR near tneatOwn,. we secured our
stock and then went In. Entering the
leading store, introduced myself to Mr.
Stiles, one of the proprietors and the
postmaster, who said TO us:
ut is now 1890, and at 3 there's TO be a
wedding down the street at Jonas Bur
tons. Old Jonas is . Tough old coon that
we elected Justice of the Peace about a
month ago, and, as this will Le his first at
tempt at marriage, think we will see
some fun. Come-and 60 down with me. 4"
We went to the old"Squire's cabin. We
found him poripg..ovet large volume of
the Statutes of Wyoming, sweating like a
horse and looking terribly anxious. AT
ter greeting us, he said
'Stiles, the burned galoots tibet got up
these yer laws hadn't gumption enough to
last 'em over night. I've run through the
blamed book half a dozen times, aud
can't find dod blasted word about mater
mony, or how the bitchin' process is pro-
cseded with. I've just got to put the
clamps on this couple hit or miss, nm ef |
don Z yoke EN- up legal can't help it,"
"Oh," said Stiles, lido the beat you can.
Any kind of n ceremony will do in this
country, for.peoplo'll never question the
legality of the thing. I'll post you as well
as l can"
stiles then explained to him about how
he should proceed, and the old man finally
thought he could worry through in tolera-
bic shape. Ere long the couple appeared,
followed by a crowd of the citizens of the
camp. The candidates stood up before
the Squire, who began:
"Feller citizens, this var man and this
var woman have appeared. before the
court to be hitched IN the legal bands of
wedlock. If any galoot in the mob knows
OF anything that mout block the: game eff
TUX TO higher court, let him now toot
his bazoo or else keep his jaw to himself
now and fOrevermore. All in favor o. me
preceedin' as ortherized by law say T."
Everybody said az"
Contrary, no."
The motions carried unanimously, an
the court rules that thar hsin't nuthin' 70
pervent the tryin' of the case. Grip yer
fms"
The candidates joined hands. "Amos
Peabody, do.-you solemElY swar tibet veil
fretze to Mandy furever and ever Thet
yen love 'er, an treat 'er squar, an per-
vile fur er accordin' to the rules an reg
ulatations sot down to govern SIGH cases
In the laws o. the United States, so heip
yer Cody
Ysas, sir; do, sir"
That nxes your end of the barpaia.
Mandy Thomas, do ye solemnly swar
that yen hang on to Amos for all comm
time; that You'll nuss him 10 sickness AL,
be squar to him in wellness; that ven al
ways be to hin a good, Itrue, honest, up
an-up wife under the penollies prescribed
by the laws for the punishment of SIGH
'ffenseSi do you Swar this, so help yer
Godi"
IL swar will"
Then by the power vested in me as
Justice of the Peace, in an fur this pre-
cinct, pronounce you, Amos Peabody.
husband, an you, Mandy Thomas, wife.
and legalize 20 to remain as SIGH now an
forevermore, and yen stand committed
ill the fees an costs in the case be paid
in full, an may God have mercy on your
souls an bless this union with the heftiest
blessin's."
The fees and.costs were adjusted, and,
after receiving the congratulations of the
assembly, the newly-made husband and
wife departed for their cabin up the
creek.