The weekly miner. [volume] (Butte, Mont.) 1878-1881, 1881-05-31
Spoopendyke Bathes Mrs. S.

''Now, my DEAR" said Mr.. Spoopendyke, as
he bounced out of his at{nng house and
thumped on the door of the one occupied by
Mrs. Spoopendyke, "are you ready? We
must hurry out into the wafer or we won't
get through in time for dinner"
'sIsn't it rather chilly ?" she asked.
"Not at all, Mrs. Spoopendyke, not at all
the air is rather cool, but the water is warm.
If you're going with me you want to move
along"
As they reached the beach, Mr.. spoopen-
dyke left his wife and boldly plunged into
the surf. A wave broke over him, filling his
ears, nose, eyes and mouth, and then he
strobe out
''What are you standing there for, eh ?" he
demanded. "What do you take yourself for
"a big lighthouse? Did ye come down
here to AXE bath Or are ye waiting for some
ship to tie up to you? What is the matter
with you anyway"
'sl'm afraid of the waves" whimpered Mrs.
s., "theyre so big"
sOh! they're too big for you, amt they ?"
retorted Mr.. Spoopendyke. "Wait till l get
man to saw you off little one. Better
get measured for one to suit, hadn't ye? It's
the big waves ye want, tell you. Look
here - and Mr.. Spoopendyke marched boldly
into the sea again. Another wave caught
him and landed him high and dripping on
the beach.
"Why didn't ye come in when l called ye ?
! What do ye want to make me walk all the
way up here after you ?'' shrieked Mr. S.
care you waiting to be launched like ship
Can't you walk as far as that? What are you
hosting up the legs of your pants for? They
amt skirts. Now look at me. See how 60
in, and you follow me when | beckon to you.
Watch me now"
Mr.. Spoopendyke plunged in and washed
around for a few minutes in safety, bat the
treacherous water was biding its time. An
other wave caught him and rolled him over
pumped itself into his stomach, drew him
under, whirled him around, and finally de
posted him bowling on the sand.
''Got most ready to go in ?'' he jerked out
as he climbed up himself and assumed thl
perpendicular. sIhink I'm gong to slam
around here all day, like waterspout, wait
ing for yous What did you come out hert
for? Find any fun standing out there like
soda-water sign? Why don't you come int
the water if you are going to ? Come OF
) now."
"I'm afraid" sniveled Mrs. S., :!'if 60 in
will drown"
} 'No you won't get drowned either. Cam
, you hold on to me? What did you put OF
the shirt and trousers for if you meant to ge
drowned? What are you doing around here
Now, when go in again you come along o
else,you go home."
Mr.. Spoopendyke plunged into the surf,bu
; as he came up he missed the rope. For
! second or two he sprawled around and the
began to yell. Mrs. S. eyed him for an in
= stant, and then her fear for him overcome he
3 fears for herself, and with yell she dashe
$ i'll and hauled him out by the hair.
t "Dod gast the water!" choked Mr.. SpoC
y pendyke. 'lm full of the measly stuff. S
$ you got in, didn't you? What dye think y
t are,anyway-a steam barbershop? Going t
= let go that hair sometime ?'
But frightened out of all reason, Mrs. SpoC
perdyke clung still, and hauled him to hi
clearinghouse.
"Oh! if / hadn't saved you!' she sobbeG
"Oh, yes you saved me, didn't you? ?" sadl
- sneered Mr.. Spoopendyke.