Claiborne guardian. [volume] (Homer, La.) 1877-188?, 1881-05-11
Prize Essay on Newspapers.

Printers Devil, London Sporting Times. !
Newspapers is termed vehicles o
information. They is divided into
three sections-Sportin' papers,
nooSepapers, serciety papers. A
sportih' paper, like the Sportin'
Tines is u paper as tells yer how
to invest without being welshed. A
noosepaper like the Standard tells
yer the same thing but pretends
not TO do it. A serciety paper tells
man what he didn't say of, and
what his wife didn't a do of.
Compositions is men, but some.
times is women. They set mp their
papers and makes null y their
koppy. Say as when a sportin' ritter
says one day rs how Robert the
Devil will win the Derby: the next
day he says az how it was n "prin
ter's error scin' as how tie wrote
as plain as a pikestaff. Bend Or,
which shows ~ how compositors is
fools. Compositors is very steady
men when they is sober, which they
seldom is when they can't help it.
On week day mornins you will find
compositions is much about Shoe
Lane aud Salisbury Court, on Sun.
days YOU will find 'em abed.
Readers is men who spoils
pnnc,ivashun o compostors. Rea.
ders spells u word one way TO-DAY
and another way tomorrow. They
is better dressed but has less pay
than compositions. Readers think
they is intelligent persons. Some
folks thinks different.
Foremen is men as kicks MP rows
with the compositOrs for IA not dom
of what they have been told not to
do. Foreman also kicks the prin.
ter's devils. Some forcmen also
sings "The Sea is England's Glory"
other foremen also sings very small,
indeed.
Reporters is what is termed "the
staff so many o EN- being sticks.
They works hard refrcshment
bars. They goes night after night
to Tree feeds, and eats and drinks
for nanght. They goes into shops
and orders what they likes-which
they never pays AT all. Some re.
porters beats their wives and some
wives beats their reporters.
Sub editors is men who pretends
to look over koppy. But they never
pertend To look ever bars at bar.
maids-which they do regular. The
public thinks sub editors is editors,
which they think SO themselves.
Dramatic critics is coves what
does the theatyres. They is seedy.
looking coves during the day, hut
at night-oh, moy. They wears
swallow tails and new dickies,
which sparkles with glass diamonds.
They is fellers who think they know
better than Billy Shakspear. and is
always tryin' TO improve Oh Hamlet.
They sit in the stalls a lookin'
knives aud forkes at the audience
and when they looks mp at huz in
the gallery they seems to say,
Look at the monkeys from the
Zoe Their governors tell them
never to take free passes nor to
write one sided, which they always
acts mp to these distractions.
Editors is men of great ability,
and knows anything in the wings
above and the hearth beneath, and
the tstrong) waters under the
hearth. Editors is writer's who
doesn't write enythink. They eats
aud drinks more and better than
reporters, but they does it on the
Q. T. They is the biggest men you
ever see.
Managers and publishers is men
as takes in the tin. They keeps AZ
much as they likes and gives the
rest TO the propriefors
Proprietors isn't anybody. They
amt even seen. I'm the winter they
lives in the country, and in summer
they goes yofting.
Printers devils 10 the most impof.