Smyrna times. [volume] (Smyrna, Del.) 1854-1987, 1881-02-16
WHOLE NO. 1887.
Current Comment,
PHILADELPHIA EVENING NEWS.

friends fly away.
Whittaker's ears have cost the oovonn
ment $4,000 each.
In New Yawk the dropped ar" is PASS.
port into good society.
Shad are sharpening and muItinIviro
'"Sir bones for the spring market.
a syndicate is being formed for the Dur.
chase OF the first plate of straw berries
II you want to have high old time INV
grandtather's clock at modern craze ,r;.
ces. pr
wanted to exchanges frst.class lawn.
mower but little used, for new snow
shovel.
Susan B. Anthony says the new poke
'Onnets are exactly the shape of those
worn in 1890.
10 teach children to lie-promse them
something to keep them quiet and then
don't give it to them.
A Texas boy has eloped with a pirI of1o
he wanted to marry before be GOT old
enough to be shot at.
When you get cheated with ton of moor
coal 1t is not much consolation 10 reflect
that 1T won't last long.
A Philadelphia man, aged 81, has stop.
ped smoking. He heard last week that II
was injurious to health.
The difference between Sunday and Mon.
day IN ST. Louis is that the variety theaters
give no matinees on Monday.
Nennor is cute one. He predicted thai
thaw just to keep the coal men from SHOW.
ing up prices, and he succeeded.
That gddy young thing, the Baroness
burdett Coutts, says Edwin Booths ewes
are Just too lovely for anything.
Cornelius Vanderbilt has succeeded in
getting together enough cash to rent a
Newport cottage for next season.
Old-fashioned mittens are in style apuin
and 1t is once more possible to be comfort
able without appearing eccentric
Harriet Hosmer is still at work on per.
petual motion. She got her idea from
watching small boy at Sunday school.
Vermont Is trying TO get more than its
snare OF summer travel. Itadvertises that
Its railroad brakemen are all handsome.
Teach your boy trade; if he is too lazy
to learn anything else teach him to trade
horses. Money can always be made at that
trade.
The object Of the telegraph consolida.
ton was to lower rates, Just as the object of
the coal combination was to make coal
cheap.
Vennor has been invited to lecture in
Washington on March or 4. This is a
sly way of securing stock of good weather
for the Inauguration.
Garfield became hungry the other night
and partook literally of mincs pie before
going to sleep. He dreamed that his
grandmother wanted an office.
Artificial flowers for the spring trade are
made SO perfect that the Society for the
Prevention of Cruelty to Animals will prob.
ably interfere on behalf of the bees.
One Of the blessings of being poor is
that you are not asked fifty times day to
indorse a note or go bail for every Tom,
Dick or Harry who ever heard of you.
city in which men behave themselves
and women do not drive their husbands to
suicide is regarded by the average New
Yorker as "a dead.and alive sort of place."
Jerusalem is to have street cars. passen.
ger elevators and telephone exchange,
while to complete the misery of the inhab.
tants an organ grinder is on his way there.
Mrs, Livermore is lecturing on How
Shall we Reach the Boys?" The way to do
this, Mrs. Livermore, is to begin while they
! are young enough to reach with q slipper.
Society weddings cost from $1,000 to
$4,000, but the cost Of the wedding is not
a safe basis on which to calculate the
amount of happiness or misery which is to
follow.
Some men are so unlucky if they should
pull sled up steep, icy hill in order to
ride down, the sun would come out and
melt every inch of ths smooth surface Just
as they got to the top.
According to the Prophet Daniel the
world will come to an end in 1870. If that
is the case we fear the Washington monu.
msnt will never be completed. The time
remaining is entirely too short.
Remenyi, the violinist, refuses to play to
an accompaniment of squeaking boots.
By and by some Clergyman will refuse to
pray to such an accompaniment and then
reform in the right direction will be started
An exchange-not printed in Boston
says the English language is much more
extensively spoken than any other; the
number of people speaking it have more
than quadruplsd during the present CEN
fury.
Mrs. Livermors in her latest lecture OBJ
;ao.s 70 xvonoau do;nO honsawork haoay1sa