The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1881-01-06
A MERRY MOURNER.
His::,,Oration.. Over tho Burinl..of Demo-
cratic Hopes.

The Republicans of Clarinda, Page
county. Iowa, had a iolli6catiCl meeting
IN Friday night, the 9Th inst. After sev.
eral Republican orators had given vent
to their feelings with spread eagle speech
es. the crowd called loudly for Lou B.
Cake. Cake is Democrat and he look
ed too depressed to speak. bnt the crowd
wouldn't be put off, so he.mounted a box
and made the following unique speech !:
Fellow. citizens: A man usually at.
tends his own funeral, but it is not cx-
nected that he should talk a great DEAL
[Laughter1 knew the funeral ceremc.
nv would 20 on without me, so | conclu.
dod 1 had better bring in the body:
Laughter. But it takes great deal of
grace to sustain man who helps furnish
the corpse for an occasion like this.
[Laughter] Nobody but Democrat
could do it. Applause. 1t is certain
that no one save the Democrats have had
a chance to try it for the last twenty
years. Shouts of applause. Disap-
pointment is the modern Democrats
hirthright. and mourning his normal con-
dition. They took out patent on disas'
ter twenty years ago and it has never
been infringed. The patent run out in
1876 and they have just got it renewed.
Looking over the landscape of the last
twenty years behold acres of busted
hopes, cords and cords Of lisgruntled am
bitions, barrels and barrels of unavailing
tears, oceans and oceans strewn with the
wrecks of phantom ships onceI burdened
with Democratic delusions. Great ap'
plause.l Disappointmentis an anchor to
the Democratic soul, both sure and stead
fast.
Leaves have their time to fall,
And flowers to wither at the north
winds breath,
And stars to set but all, Oh, Democrat,
Thou hast all times for thine own death
l might say with Shylock, 'Suferance
yea, sufsr.ance is the badge of our
tribe" i could give you 329 reasons for
this. Laughter. A lawyer offered
Judge sixteen reasons why his client was
not present in court. First, he was dead.
The Judge told him thath might omitlhe
other fifteen. The first reason ofthe 329
is, we lacked the voters. You will allow
me to omit the other 1928. Applausive
consent. But could give you more
than 329 reasons. .Then-
'tris the South that can supply,
Solid comforts while we die.
In some States the Greenback party
fell through crack in their platform and
crippled us. Laughter. But Democ-
racy still lives. Great applause. It's
like the mule-it never dies. But unfor-
tunately, like the mule, while it lives it
is forever throwing its riders.
1t bucked Greeley off and killed him
in 1872. TiIden stuck on till he passed
under the wire. Applause. But there
was so much daylight between him and
this Democratic quadruped the Judges
counted him off, although he had his foot
in the stirrups. This year We got
splendid send off, and might have won,
but the donkey was stricken down in In.
diana with g) Landers. Applause.
We close this chapter of history with the
hope the story will not be continued in
our next. Cheers. We accept de-
feat the more cheerfully because of the
maguanimous manner with which you
take the victory. We take it every four
years. 1t is standing prescription. 1t
might we'll be called the quadrennial ipe.
cac. Groans. 1t works up before the
election and work down when the returns
come in. We thapk you for the mag.
unanimous way in which you have turned
cut to our funeral. Applause. We
congratulate you on the magnificent and
imposing character of the obsequies.
Here the speakers feelings overcame
him, and he retired amid encouraging
earthquakes and applausiye avalanches.