Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1881-09-14
An Unpleasant Hitch.

81 hate to see hitch in weddin,
remarked farmer from out Jamaica
way, as he dropped into the counting
room with nuptial notice. TT looks
bad and it makes talk"
Anything wrong about this wedding?"
asked the clerk, as he made change for
the old man.
Nothing positively wrong, but it
didn't launch like want to see things
of that kind You seen by the notice
that Buck Thomas was marin Mary
Biff, and at one time we begun to think
they never would get through the cere-
mony."
''What was the hitch ?"
"Why Buck is Methodist and Mary
is 'Piscopalain, and as one wanted one
service, and the other another, they
patched up some kind of a scheme to
have both. Neither would go to the
others church, but each had their own
minister, and the weddin' come off in
the school house. The 'piscopal min
lister married Mary and the methodist
undertook to marry Buck, and there
they was takin' alternate whacks at the
thing, and neither payin' any attention
to the other. The methodist brother
fired off a sermon first, and the bride
sat down and went to sleep. Then the
'piscopalain said as how we'd all drop
ped in to see that woman fined, but he
wouldn't say who to, and wanted to
know if there was any objections. That
started up the methodist. who began to
ask Buck if he knew what solemn
business he was peggin' at, and if he
really meant trade. All that time the
'piscopalain was howlin' around about
this woman, and Mary was sayin' she'd
do this and that and the other. The
methodist was marin away on his side,
and finally they brought up agin a
stump.
'.How's that ?" asked the clerk.
''Well, the 'piscopalian wouldn't rec
ognize Buck or his minister, and the
methodist wouldn't have nothin' to do
with Mary or her preacher. and there
was no way of gittin' 'em together.
Everything was all Iaady except askin'
them if they'd taks each other, and
neither one of 'em would do it. Mary
and Buck was standin' hand in hand,
and the crowd was gettin' hungry"
'In what respect ?" inquired the
clerk.
Because there was no one to pro-
nounce EN- man and wife. Buck tried
to reason Mary into lettin' the methodist
do that part, and Mary argued with
Buck and tried to persuade him into lis
TENN to her preacher;but it was no use.
That brought on another row, and as it
was gittin' nigh on to dark, we all felt
that somethin' ought to be done, as we'd
been there most all day."
"Well, did they get married p asked
the tired clerk.
s'Yes; We fixed it up. The ministers
was gittin' pretty mad at each other, but
they agreed that they'd each attend to
their own flock, so the methodist said L
now pronounce you man. and the 'pis-
copalian said L now pronounce you
wife, and they let it go at that. Then
Buck paid the methodist, and the 'pis-
copalian wanted to know where he came
in. Buck said he'd hired his man and
paid him, and, as he was not response
BILE for his wife's foolishness before a
her parson could whistle for
his wealth. 1 guess there'n be law
suit about it, for the piscopalian says
he'll have half of that f. dollars if it
takes leg off to the armpit. I don't
like to see them bitches at weddin's. 1t
don't look right, and it amt business.
With which reflection the old man
buttoned up his change and drove home
in deep meditation.