The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1881-07-28
aOlsE . Doc IN lhe Day GoAeh.

Bob BurdStIO,
1t was not Mr.. Dinkleman's fault that
be was q tall man, aud in fact, under ordi'
nary circumstances, he was very proud Of
bis figure. But one night last week be
came down frem Chicago 10 Burlington
and couldn't get any kind Of q show n
the sleeper, and one seat all to himself
was the best they could do for him in the
day car. But he was weary oil the same,
and had 70 sleep. So he slowed away his
valise and prepared 70 slumbeT.
He made very elaborate preparations
several limes before he could get things
fixed to suit him.
First he just thrust bis feet ont half way
across the aisle and pIlloWed mis- weary
bead on the WindoW-aill, That wa very
comfortable. But in a minute or two .
woman walked down the aisle and fell
over his feet and screamed; then q child
came along and fell over the feet and
cried; then q man tame along, stumbled
over the feet, and Bwore,. and iust as Mr..
Dinkleman was beginning to hope the
procession wss all BY, the brakeman came
rushing along; he stumbled over the pro.
ieClinR feet, made n short ulTeviSed
remark, turned up and gave the nearest
foot o kick that made every last soul
aboard that car draw his breath and shud'
der and shrek, "Aou.ou-owl" and then
be said to Mr.. DinklemAn: Nov, hold
out the other one" b .tal
Bot Mr.. DinklemFn said nothing. He
could only hold that foot up by the ankle,
hold II up high 10 the air with both hands,
while he swAyed back and forth, held his
mouth wide open and wished for q broken
bridge, or an open switch, or an accident
policy.
Then, when the cessation OF his sgony
allowed him to feel sleepy again, be
buCkled himself up into lie shape Of q
letter n, with his knees braced against
the back Of the seal In front Of him, his
feet hanging down, his body erect, and
his head dropping over the back OF the
seat. But both HE feet got sound asleep
long before he did, and when he stood up
be isll down, and oil the passengers
shook their heads, the men laughed sAr.
donic laughs, the women said, "WhAt 0
ahsmel such q nice, Iespectable.looking
man, too" and the man On the wood box
unieelingly said, TOO much boOEe,A And
his hat fell of into q seat behind him and
the man In that seat put bis feet 10
1t and spit oil over ii before Mr.. Dinkls-
man could and 1t. oleSSly that was no
Then he Cnrled up 10 the seat like a dog
or o rug, wi b hiS knees drawn up TO his
chin, his head on the W~indow.sill and his
feet brAced against the end OF the seat. In
about twenty minutes he woke up with
more aches In his legs and body than he
had hairs on bis head. He was 80 sore and
stiff that 1t was ten minutes before he
could bend his elbowa enough TO get his
hands into his pocket to get his ticket, and
the conductor got tired Of waiting Tor him
ct last, and said, sternly: "Get of at the
next station" And Mr., DlnklemAn could
hear the passengers saving. "Dead'beat,"
and "Got the bounce" and Served him
right" Evidently, no man could sleep
very long In that posture and get home
with any kind Of o reputation
Then he tried 10 sit straight up and hold
bis head up by claspiDg hiS banda behind
1t, but when his hands gave way bis head
fell back with y snap that came 90 near
breaking bis neck he hasn't got over II
yet, and one OF the passengers asked him
II he did that for fun or Just because he
liked 1t. Then be leaned bis head down
on the back Of the seat before him and
dozed until he woke up With . crease in
his forehead like the brand Of palm. Then
he laid down with bis head piiowed on the
arm o! the seat, and. the fret man that
walked down the aisle jammed bis head
hall way down into his neck, and made
him feel that lie was a moCksry. Then
he sat up 10 the seat, facing the aisle, put
bis feet upon the arm Of The seat, leaned
his head against the window, and broke
the glass the first time tile car lurched.
Thirty cents and q cold In the head for
that.
Having thus sampled all the positions
he could think Of he spent the rest Of the
night trying them, sometimes separately,
and sometimes altogether, and when at
last be got to Burlington, his hair was
grey, his eyea were wild, be had TO be car.
ried 10 bis home on q stretcher, aud the
doctors put him 10 a mustard plaster case
right away, where he has lain ever since.
And II you don't believe It, try an all.
night ride in q day coach yourself some
time,