The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1881-05-04
VARIETIES.

oObSA AoSiNO w hAo ASAAO W 7hAOhe
What is the need of having a stand
ing army ? demands peace journal.
No need whatever. Let them sit
! down.
He who thinks he can do without
Others is mistaken lie who thinks
Others can do without him is still
more mistaken.
A tailor was startled, the other day,
by the return of bill which he had
sent to an editor, with notice that
''the manuscript was respectfully de-
clined"
Josh Billings says be never knew
a dog OF any breed whatsumever to
take hyderfoby after he had been
thoroughly vaccinated with buck.
shot.
What we do for ourselves will soon
be forgotten what we do tor others
may be the vision to cheer the soul
when the eyes can no longer behold
the loved ones
Putting it, neatly-Said the little
pet OF the household on her last birth
day: "It's a lovely doll, grandpa
and grandma; but I've been hOp>
ing it would be twins
1t is a curious fact that the things
we don't have always seem to be
most desirable. The figs OH the other
side Of the hedge, say the Spanish.
are far sweeter than any on this side.
You would save yourself and others
great many useless heartburnings
if you would manage to keep your
eyes open TO the virtues OF your
friends and look at their faults with
your eyes shut.
A man had a receipt put up by an
apothecary, and after he mad gone
the clerk discovered that he had
passed a counterfeit % cent piece
aud cent bit He informed the boss.
"Never mind" said he; IF the 5 cent
bit is good there is profit of 3
cents"
Mrs. Amelia Lewis, tells us in a
little book "How to live in summer"
The book may do tor Others, but for
us, give us hundred dollars week,
and suite of rooms al Saratoga or
Newport ard We think we can get
L.sIong without. MEs. ,Lewis's valuable
volume.
They had a grand ball at Lead
Vile, last Monday Over 400 were
present, six barrels of liquor were
consumed and seven men killed at
the free fight which was excellently
managed. The whole affair, says a
correspondent, was very recherche,
and will be remembered as one Of
the most delightful social affairs of
the season.
Board schoolmaster desiring to ex-
plain the word icon ;eited" which had
occurred in the course of the reading
lesson) "Now, boys, suppose that
! was always Boosting Of. my learn.
ing; that l knew good deal Of
Latin, tor instance, or that my per.
sonal appearance was-that was
very good looking, you know-what
should you say was ?" Straight
forward boy (who had caught the
speakers eye) 81 should say you
was liar, sir"
A report on the state OF religion
in Nevada would be almost as brief
as the famous chapter on snakes in
Ireland. The following anecdote
might, however, be inserted AT
the recent opening of the Nevada
Legislature an Eastern minister was
invited to perform the religious SER
vice. He accepted the call, and
closed the ceremony with the Lords
PRAYER. When he had finished
State Senator Doolan tdrned to Sem
ator Hammond and remarked audi
bly,: "He stole that prayer, ard I'll
bet on it. / heard 1T almost word
! for word in Eureka at funeral over
ten years ago"
She was talking on the cars, and
she said: "The meanest people are
those who peep out of windows to
see what their neighbors are doing.
Now, this morning l was looking
through the blinds Of my window,
and what do you suppose l saw, that
mean Mrs. Jones doing? Why, she
was peeping through her blinds to
see if I saw her-the mean thing"
A citizen of New Mexico being in
formed that in his absence panther
had attacked his wife and that she
had beaten off and killed the animal,
merely shrugged his shoulders and
said: "If that panther bad knowed