The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1881-03-12
TICKLING TRIPLES.

Capitol sport Bringing down the
house.
The butterfly never goes back on its
grub.
Zone difficulty about a chip off the
old block" said Deacon Scarcely, sis
that it's of en- Off a blockhead."
The students of New Haven. although
temperance men as a general thing, are
Lond of good old Yale and Porter.
The Boston Transcript says a young
nan who boosted of moving in the
highest circles was found in the top gal
iery of a theatre.
A lazy boy was complaining that his
Ded was too short, when his father
,ternly replied. that is because you are
II it too long, sir"
Patrick comes to the morgue to claim
4 relative. HAS he any peculiarly by
which he can be recognized?' asks the
guardian. ''Yes. he is dumb"
A Chicopee, Massachusetts small boy
declined TO eat soup at dinner, the other
lay. on the ground that he "hadn't
eeth that vas little enough for SOUP
Fidgeiy Lady-"But what am l to
10? can't ride with my back to the
,ngine.' Insolent youth Better
| speak to the conductor. He'll turn tho
train round TO oblige you.'
1t takes five gallons of whiskey to
| cure an elephants cold, and since this
| fact has come out, seven New York men
have peer sent to insane asylums, ,s
nothing can convince them they are not
| elephants suffering with colds.
al say, Glenn" cried two disputing
larkies, appealing for decision to a So
Die umpire, ..whichi is alphabetically or
iezactly.n The sable umpire reflected
for a moment, and then, with q look Of
wisdom. said, Il can't tell perzachy."
.'Give me the hand hat will never de-
ceive me-" said a young Cleveland
sprig in the presence of some young
ladies the other evening. A young lady
who had heard of the young mans pro-
pensitv for the gaming table drily re-
marked: 81 guess a straight flush is
about the kind of a hand you want"
Tom Marshall was using quite abu-
| siye language, and the Judge, after one
or two reprimands, fined him $40 for
contempt. Mr.. Marshall looked at the
Judge with a smile, and asked where he
was going to get the money, as he had
l uoh a oolloW - vi AhACIor
said the court. "Well, SIR" answered
| Mr.. Marshall, you're the best friend l
have; will you lend me the moneyT'
..Mr. Clerk" said the Judge, '.you may
| remit the fine. The State is as able to
lose it as l am"
The Galveston lawyers have got q
| good laugh on a brother attorney who
was defending a colored kleptomaniao
on the plea OF insanity. The attorney
for the defendant made an eloquent
| speech on the irresponsible condition of
his clients mind to the jury land took
his seat. His idiot client reached over.
touched his advocates arm, and said
emphatically, you Is de biggest fool
on Governors Island" The opposing
attorney instantly remarked, There, I
told you he had lucid intervals"
At a concert a baritone, with q cold
voice but warm gesture sings
"wouid 1t were my lot to be
captain Of the king"
And later in the evening he MARBLES:
"I wish / were q bird"
| Whereupon Mr.. P stands up and
says in a conciliatory way: See here,
my friend, you ought really to take one
part or the other. Which do you want
to be, captain of the king or the littlc
bird?
An old Vermont farmer came homo
drunk the other night, and became the
victim of On irrepressible desire to get
still drunken. So he thought he would
bring out his wagon and drive owe to
Shelburnc Falls for moro whisky.i Just
as he was about putting the finishing
| touches on tho Harvesting arrangement,
he said to himself: This horse has got
hornsr He brought out his lantern.
and found he had hitched the COW to the
wagon. He muttered. I'm drunk
enough now" unhitched the beast. and
nani into iha hnusa To nlaAn IL off