National Republican., 1881-07-02
A oouNfRY GIRL
Tells n story About|n Department Cieri
and n nnby.

Tells n story AboutIa Department Clerlr
and ~ innby.
If John had a weakness IL was for
babies. He was an only child, and so had not had
satisfaction in caring for brothers and sisters and
thought those of his playmstes who had to stay at
home and rock the baby while the others were
playing ball especially favored. Unfortunately he
was one Of those awkward youths who arc always
dropping everything they take, or sending 10 de.
struotion everything within reach Of their elbows
and feet, including ink bottles, trails &C. During
his boyhood when cousin or an aunt appeared
with one OF those mysterious bundles from whose
inner recesscs little pink mass Of aoe-environed
humanity is evolved, John became uncomfortable
at once. He buzzed around like humble
bee and created as much CONSERVATION. They
never would let him hold the baby one.
trial resulted in his humping the poor
little innocents head on the corner OF the table,
causing lump half as big as hens egg" they
said, Indignantly; and so whenever he begged the
privilege Of tending the baby he was scornfully
told that he had held babies rs much as anybody
wanted him to. No one, though could keep him
from lowering around them. He gave them
candies to cat when they had on their best sashes;
he gave them pretty posies" TO smell of which
they crammed into their mouths and choked on;
he swung pretty, tempting things before their
eyes for them 10 see, which they were positively
forbidden TO have, and for which they howled at
the top OF their voices lie the very betc nor Of
nurses and fond mamas, who said he needed
more watching than the baby.
With these characteristics not oulgrown and be-
fore he had learned what to do with his hands or
feet, although his brain was well stocked with
knowledge, and what was better his purse with
money, his paternal parent secured him place In
the Interior Department, aud sent him out to see
tho world. He found q pleasant boarding place
on New York avenue. Among the other boarders
IL y.
calm indifference, and u lady with baby that he
adored. I mean he adored the baby; he would
have scorned to have adored q lady already ap-
propriated he was too much of n novice In WASH
ington life. You know how II Is with girls. Let
any one be spoony, and he is Immediately given
the cold shoulder II he daily around as II uncer-
tain that the bait Is worth the taking they try at
once to "land him. but II any one can pass by
all their charms with utter Indifference they are
Wild with excitement, and that young man has
trouble ahead
The advent Of tho only son of his mother and
she wealthy-as was his fathcr-had caused o
futter OF excitement In three feminine hearts.
Each one laid her plans, which she did not di.
vuge to the Others and then to be utterly ignored
for that baby" was too much. At last they held
council of war and the paint on their faces that
night was war paint. They had no fear OF being
scalped themselves, for they wore Thompson
waves
Tho result OF their deliberations was a resolve 10
satiate Johns appetite for baby They coolly,
calmly, and collectively prepared n bitter expert
ence for that innocent, unsuspecting young man.
1t was the nurses night out. BY glowing repre-
sentatlons they induced the mother to accompany
her husband to the opera, promising to car , ~,
the little darling" ,F'-!' o'clock ~" hu tne
ladies and baby fn the phrloi. '. a, as usual,
bowed at the shri,ko Of his devotion, Two OF the
lade ---de excuses to leave the room. The
third suddenly remembered something she
must do Immediately, and would he please hold
baby while she attended to II. Johns countenance
grew beatific with happiness. lie held his arms
out like sticks to have the baby deposited thereon
and tho lady fed from the room. If he had been
content to have let the little one lie quietly in his
arms his troubles would have been avoided for It
was past the hour for sleep, and the eyelids would
have soon dropped, and he could have watched the
advent into the mysterious land OF dreams That
would not have satisfied him. After many strug-
giles he managed to seat the unconscious victim on
his knee. and thereby dsengage his lefl hand,
with which he began series Of attacks on the
pudgy cheeks and chin.
"Ketch'eml Ketch'em? Baby, laugh little,
Just little for John Nice baby Docs baby
| like John? There, don't cry!" And rs u sudden
thought flashed across his mind as the mouth be-
gan those gyrations which prccede vocal gymnas-
tics: Docs pin prick baby? Maybe John can
| find t."
He was brave man and devoted martyr to the
cause, and he actually attempted to find that guilty
pima search which men have pursued for years
with fruitless results. He united strings and un.
butoned buttons. and pulled out pins, the baby IS
howls gradually growing in strength and duration
| as he rolled 1t over with his unskillfnl hands.
AT length the young ladies could endure the
| sounds no longer and came TO the rescue. John
was walking the floor with great beads of sweat
| on his forehead The baby's dress was on the sofa
pettlcoat had caught on the corner of the what
not as he walked, and nuttcred In the breeze from
| mn open window; second skirt, in slipping from
| the child, had caught on his watch -gaurd and
| dangled there. He had reversed the poor baby In
| his excitement and the squalls proceeded from
under his left arm while the little feet destined tC
walk the paths OF greatness reposed on his right
| shoulder
Either to calm the baby, as a relief to his owr
feelings, or to drown the uproar he was singing:
There, there there,
| There, there, there.
unsh-a-bye-il"
He dropped the baby into the arms of the first
| conner and rushed from the room. Their victory
| was so complete the ladies never dared mention
1t. They fxed the babyup and soothed II to sleep
John packed his trunk and took the first train fol
home. Washington air didn't agree with him.
There are two mysteries that two people canno
solve. The mother of the baby wonders how IL
| flannel petticoat came to hang on the door. knob
and the mother ofJohn wonders why he will neve
look at baby. "He used to be so fond of them
| you know" MALLETT.
Chapter ON BARRIERS.
Some BARRIERS are inveterate story
telers. One of this class had customer who's,