The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1881-07-19

Will assert ltself.-EX.
We thought it was the bed that caused
Platt trouble.
The latest article We have heard Of be-
ing borrowed is fine comb to he used As
an aid for getting the children ready for
Sabbath school. Aim, we getting up,
though ?-Ex.
How many did they catch?
Won't YOU please play us something.
Miss Hammerandbang?" asked FOgg. Il
should like to ever SO much" she said,
looking ut her watch. "but really have no
time" so l have heard" replied Fogg
''but We will overlook that, You know. y
Eek.
After some persuasion she hammered
and banged the piano until they were glad
to have her quit.
The house fly can see distance of
thirty-eight feet, but that never bOthers
him any.-Ex.
Well bet the liquid refreshments that
fly can see glass of iced tea a hundred
feet off and can center it every time.
eff you want broth of boy, take
me-" said the Irish sailor to the cannibal
king. But the king said he preferred him
roasted. He was not fond of brOths.-Ex.
This is new dish. But perhaps the
king desired to try roast Irishman on
! toast.
At the summer resort-First week,
IL Il, Il
| second week, to telling where YOU went last
year; third week, to talking about the
Browns, who have gone home; fourth
week to complaints Of the house. After
the fourth week life ut a summer resort is
insufferably dull.-Ex. :.
The fifth week is generally devoted to
spreading a scandal.
A young man has Just been married.
On the evening of the happy day he OBJ
serves the bride carefully depOsiting her
boquet of orange blossoms within q globe
of glass prepared for the purpose. Much
surprised, he inquiries the reason. She,
with charming smile, replies, "But, my
dear, may Ike able to keep i; for the next
time-Ex.
She thought her new hubby might not
be able to stand the test and wanted to be
prepared for the trial Of another.
Probably the meanest man on record
keeps boarding house in San Domingo.
Last winter an earthquake turned the edi-
fee upside down, and the very next morn
ing he began charging the sgarret dodgers
first floor prices.-Ex.
That's mistake. He lives in Sedalia,
and the other day wanted to charge a
boarder extra for the flies in glass OF
milk.
The latest sweet thing for the ladies
is ivory heels on wedding slippers. When
the irst-bOrn gets old enough to get into
mischief the ivoIy heels should be re-
mOved.-Ex.
This is too slippery subject for much
discussion. The experience of the pros
pective son and heir is the best Judge.
The winter was terrible, the spring
was horrible, and now the summer is try
ing to ape their mannera.-Ex.
And summer is getting there, too. The
marriage fees are at an end for the present
1t has been definitely settled at last
that the reason pigs tail curls is because
it's s. ed when it is young.-Ex.
That's it. That's where the girls got the
style of banging their hair.
The Age Of Discretion-The age when
company airs can be put on or taken OF
a nect-,sity demands
One swallow does not make summer,
"But," says Smirkins, lit imparts a pleas
ant warmth. "-Ex.
Too many swallows made a dusky belle
receive free lodgings in the refrigerator the
other night.
Can young lady who is everlastingly
knitting her eyebrows be called industri-
ous.-Ex.
She can if she knits socks for her ''fel-
Ter" with them.
The comet is being viewed early and
late BY the "blOods" of this place. In the
absence of a telescope they look alongside
la black neck bottle.-Ex.
What do the girls look through?
She cooed; he wooed; the old man said
they could If they would. No cards.
Elk.
And about year later he was cussing a
colicky baby.
The thunder is about the most relia-
bic weather report.-Ex.
The thunder it is. Thank you. We
have no use for boquets. N. B. The shove
Is copyrighted.
The thermometer stood 1t los in the
shadefor IN hour Saturday.-Ex.
That's nothing. We saw . two-horse
wagon stand 1t No. 405 in the shade al the
afternoon. The old. man was inside play