The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1881-02-02
VARIETIES.

! oAOA hOA tiASOAIA 4OA OtfOASO III LUV
ground thai he called her can old
cow"
a lazy fellow, laying down onsthe
/ graes, said "0h how do wishthat
! this aas called work. and well paid
| for"
What men want is not talent, it
is purpose; in other words, not the
power TO achieve, but the will to
labor.
"l'he darksyis honr is just before
the dawn" remarked Sambo when he
started out before dsybreak to steal
2 young chicken for breakfast.
Mary Jane, have you given the
gold fish fresh water y mo, ms'am !;
what's the use ? They haven't drank
up what's in there, yet"
Little johnny says "Talk ABOUT
your patent base burning stoves, my
mothers old slipper is hot enough
base burner for me-"
1t is said that Col. Ingeraoll didn't
lose faith ill the Bible until he collided
with the story of Naomi marrying
when she was $50 years old.
Rain water brings down yearly
twelve pounds OF ammonia to the
acre of ground, which forms a valu>
able and effective principle as fer.
tilizer.
A Dedham minister asked one of
his female parishioners if she was "a
mother i'll Israel" to which she re-
sponded, ooh, land sakes, no l
have never been married p
Beware of biting jests; the more
truth they carry with them the
greater wounds they give, the
greater smarts they cause, and the
greater scars they leave behind
L0U0ter.
"WhaU have you been drinking or
eating ?" exclaimed his wife, as he
returned late at night "Liquor.ish,"
he responded, and then he winked at
himself in the dark and breathed thin
till he got asleep
we are told that we must become
as children to enter into the kingdom
of heaven; methinks We should also
become as children to know what
delight there is in our heritage of
earth.-Butsoc' Lytton.
II smell sumfn a burning" re
marked an aged negro, who sat ::at
the campfire toasting his extremities.
"Gosh !" he added, q moment later,
with loud yell, "it'e dis niggah's
own 1ut p
Il say, Glenn" cried two disputing
darkies, appealing for decision to
sable umpire; switch word is right
-dizactly or dezactly ?" The sable
umpire reflected a moment, and then,
with a look Of wisdom, said: 81 can't
tell, perzactly"
They won't let each other alone.
A St. Louis paper says: "Chicago
has more mortgages, more smell,
more wind and more buster than
any other city in the world" and
likens it TO a description a Texan
gave OF bis cow: "She is wider
across the horns, and thinner across
the TANKS, and can jump higher, bel
low louder and eat more hay and
give less milk than any cow in
Texas"
One Of the most provoking cpl
sodes we can just now think of is to
meet lady friend, and in endeavor>
ing to raise your soft hat by the
crown, find you have on your Derby,
and claw all over the top of it before
recalling the change in head.gear.
In the meantime the young lady
glides by, wondering what the mis-
chief is the matter, and if you are
losing what little brains you once
possessed.
Tommy. my sou, what are you
going to do with that club ?" "Send
it to the editor, of course" "But
what are you going to send it to the
editor for? "Cause he says if any
body will send him a club he will
send them copy of his paper" The
mother came near fainting, but re!
covered herself sufficiently to ask:
"But. Tommy, dear, what do you
suppose he wants with a club ?"
"Well, I don't know" replied the
nrchin, "unless it is to knock down
subscribers as don't pay for their
paper. l suppose there are plenty of
such mean peonle.n That bovstands