The Hickman courier. [volume] (Hickman, Ky.) 1859-current, 1881-11-04
PITn AND POINT.


in roaster
WHEN wild cattle get loosee:Srt ;. -
apt TO suffer from hist-steria.
To find a lawyer who charges only
nominal fee certainly is phenomenal.
Com has gone up. Ercaange. Oh,
well, convert 1t into whisky and it will
go down.
SOME one says. that Hod Fellows a.
not Masons, although approaching II
in their work
''WHY don't you have soy
about YOU" said the man
looked along mile of barbekI
an entrance.
q DoN'r cut, /" m;ifmEFed---s
toner in the BARRIERS chair, fr1j
an all-night poker party"
let EN- run. "-Burdette.
II two-wheeled vehicle is a
and three-wheeled a tricycle.,
not follow that the one-wheeled
icycle 1t is wheelbarrow.
No, Pauline, no; the article you saw
headed Walking Matches" did not re-
fer to engaged couples, although many
of them g go as they please.
A BRIDE is reported to have said: " 1
told all my friends to have my name put
on my presents, so that if divorced
George should not be able to claim
| them"
! THERE must be a great deal OF "bouncc''
! about newborn babies if newspaper per-
sonals are to be credited. Those that
are not "bouncing boys" are invariably
bouncing girls.
/
! don't mean this for a likeness of my son
| Why, the boy looks like an idiot" Pho
/ tographer: I'm very sorry, but can't
help that, ma'am."
Mosr women spend their lives in rob-
! bing the old tree from which Eve plucked
| the first fruit. And such is the attrac-
woman is not content to die without
having tasted it.
"THE fact is. said Smith, melodra-
matically, "my Heart goes out to the
! distressed. / am all heart" 81 guess
ycu are, +" remarked Frogg, more in sor-
row than in anger 81 know that you
are always on the beat.
A CoLoRED cook expected company,
some of her associates, and was at loss
to entertain her friends. Her mistress I:
- Suzen, you must make an apology"
Good Lord, Misses, L got no eggs,
no butter, no nothing to make it with. "
LAST summer she was eating green
corn by gnawing it from a cob, when
her teeth became entangled with a corn
silk. "Oh, dear, said she impatiently,
II wish when they get the corn made
they would pull out the basting threads
JoNEs says his wife is the most thrifty
woman he ever knew. Why, sir, he
saws. "she has made ten bedspreads
during the last two years; made them
herself, sir, out of the samples she col
lected in her shopping tours during that
time"
ALL women are naturally afraid of a
COW. Madam, said the oleomargarine
dealer, when she uttered a shrek at dis
| covering that it was bogus butter she
was handling, Madam, you needn't
| be alsrmed. The COW it was made from
is too dead to hurt you.
FoUR years ago a young man, without
a cent on his back and only one suit of
clothes TO his name, entered Denver and
begged his supper. Last week he eloped
with his employers wife and $40, 900 of
his cash. Close application to business,
coupled with pluck and industry, wins
every time-N7orristot0 Herald.
"SAY, boyl' called woman to bare
foot lad, and sdmonishingly shaking q
fore-finger, "what are you throwing
water on that cat fur?' 1.-The water
won't hurt the cats fur" replied the
youth, and the woman, whose grammar
was rebuked, said she didn want any
of his I" sass. "-NOrriStOtOp Herald.
"SMrrH, said Jones the other day,
did YOU ever consider the differentia-
ton OF absoluteness as compared with
the indlssoluhle absolute?" "NO-o-o," ?"
said Smith, don't think L ever did.
But did you ever consider why pigs
tail kinks to the left?" And That Is the
reason why Jones calls Smith diaph-
anous ignoramus. us.-OH CITY Derrick.
AWHILE an Idaho girl was sitting under
n tree. waiting for her lover, grizzly
bear came along and, approaching from
behind, began to hug her. But she
thought it was Tom, and so leaned back
and enjoyed it heartily, and murmured
F." tighter" and it broke the bear all up
and he went AWAY and hid IN the forest
for three days to get over his shame.
81 MUST say that / very much dislike
this ostentatious furnishing, remarked
the elderly Miss Pringle, as she looked
about her in the new home OF the span
inCtons. - Now look at that n
elaborately-framed mirror. l dsl
can see nothing beautiful in it,
shouldn't EXPECT impossible, ~
Pringle." remarked Fogg. tl