The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1881-08-12
The Glass Eve.

A young man with glass eve was
engaged to be married, but he did not
ike to inform his betrothed of his ocu-
lar defect A week previous to the day
named for the wedding he contided in
his future father-in-law, who, to his sur.
prise, received the information in a
llighly-amused manner. "Tll make it
all right for you, my boy; you initiate
me exactly in anything L do after sup
per tonight, and see how good-natured-
ly Maria Chat was the lady's nameJ will
take it." Accordingly, rs soon as the
evening meal was concluded, the father
10 ked at the young man and began to
sing:
oh, do you know the glass-eye man,
The glass-eye man, the gass-eye man?
oh. do you know the & ass-eye man
Who lives down our way?
And, as he concluded the last line, he
took out his left eye and placed it on a
plate in front of him. The young man
was very much astonished to find his
Maria's father a unfortunate as himself,
while at the same time it gave him cour-
age to reply:
Oh, yes, know the glass-eye man
no lives down our way,
and to deposit his crystal optic on the
table. Maria was convulsed with laugh
ter at the proceedings, but her future
husband was ready to believe all hui
mainly one-eyed when she trebled forth:
also know the glass-eye man
Who lives down our way,
and dropped her eye into glass of
water 10y her side.
Frequent assaults and battery have
been made by sternly-virtuous females
in cars on glass-eyed men. Only recent
ly gentleman was enjoying the scenery
through the car window with his
natural eye. unaware of the fact
that his glass. eye was staring
straight ahead at maiden lady
OF Sunday-school principles. She put
up with it for half an hour, and then got
up and, smashing his hat over his head,
called him licentious villain and other
complimentary epithets, and was only
prevented from scratching his face by
his timely retreat to the smoking car,
under the supposition that he had been
attacked by mad woman.
Fifty years ago, when California was
under the dominion of Spain, a one
eyed commandant ruled at San Francis.
co, who was the terror of all the Indians
in the vicinity. A Yankee skipper trav-
cling that way induced the Spaniard to
purchase one OF the then-newly -invented
glass eyes of him, and, to the fear and
surprise of the redskins, the command
ant suddenly appeared with two eyes.
This was too much for the br YES, so
one of their number was deputed to assas-
sinate the senior. He managed to gain
access to his chamber, but, on approach
ing the couch, was terrified to find the
commandantsl eping with one eye closed
and the other wide open. The amazed
Indian gave an unearthly yell and threw
himself headlong from the window.
One of the most curious stories is the
case of supposed blind beggar in
Paris. This mar was arrested for some
trivial offense, and, on his way to prison,
one of his eyes fell out OH the sidewalk.
On being examined it was discovered
that for long time he had been in the
habit of wearing two ingeniously-con-
trived porcelain covers TO his real eyes,
which were of different color to the
sham ones, and he was at once recog-
nized as criminal for whom the author
tiles had long been in search.
A glass eye once figured in a civil
trial. An opician sued woman for
the value of an eye he had inserted for
her with the promise that she would
find it both ornamental and useful. The
woman declined to pay, her defense
in court being as follows
81 have false teeth; 1 can eat with
them. L have false hair it keeps my
head warm and is ornamental. i have
also false leg; can walk with it. But
taking her glass eye out and dashing
it to the ground-l can neither see with
my false eye nor is it an object of beau
ty." She gained her suit.-I'hitodetphia
Press.