Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1881-07-13
SPICE AND ALLSPiCE.

Sdlu 10 DE gaming ground. -ROn1e Sen
tj7el.
HE boy who is tied to his mothers
apron strings is a victim of wais-tied OPP
portunities.
"MAMMA, why is Mrs. Fickleiove
called grass widow?" Mamma" Be-
cause Mr.. Ficklelove died of hay fever,
my dear"
SERPENTINE walks laid out in gardens
are nothing new. They were in hits of
the spring season in the Garden of Eden.
.Ne2O Orleans Picayupe.
He not what you might call handsome,
Though his mouth red as a rose:
For straw (you may spell the word backward)
Surmounted the end of his nose.
-HdcEensack ReDu bL5cnu
AMERICAN horses will never make as
much money abroad as American dom
keys have spent there. Boston Conn.,
maerciat advertiser.
The Waterloo Observer asserts that
we never saw winter tramp" Posi-
bly,; but we've seen q spring March
Puck We've seen May hy.-Can9-
bridge Tribune.
SOME one has formed 1,O51 English
words of not less than tour letters in
the word regulations" This may be
pleasant kind of work, but it is not so
profitable as killing potato bugs one at
time.
A PHILADELPHIA exchange says that
after an attendance of six weeks at a
school for cooking, Philadelphia wom-
an baked loaf of bread 80 heavy that
she broke her back while lifting it out of
the oven.
"WHAT is the reason Colonel McSpil-
kins does not live with his wife any
more? ?" asked Gilhooly of an Austin
lawyer. "There are sundry and divorce
responded the lawyer.
Sttings.
An article in an agricultural paper is
called Chow to Eat Strawberries. A
man who doesn't know how to eat straw
berries should be compelled to live on
dried apples and salt mackerel. Norris
toUn Herald.
SILVER must be declining in value. A
little boy in this vicinity recently swal-
lowed trade dollar. They gave him an
emetie, and all they could raise out of
him was eighty-fve cents in pennies
NeW York Dispatch.
"OPEN thy gates, o summer!" i'm
plores, poet, and we cordially agree.
Indeed, if it is necessary, we go in for
taking down two or three lengths of
fence. Anything to let in few rays of
summer sun. -Nea0 Haven Register.
Chow things do grow this weather."
said the deacon to Brother Amos. "Yes,
they do, replied the brother. ''Last
night [ heard you say you caught forty
fish, and this morning head you tell
Mr.. Smith it was one hundred and fifty"
SOME fellow has started the report
that ice cream is largely composed OF
glue. He must have felt mighty glue my
after coming out of an ice cream saloon
with his girl. He evidently got stuck"
for more than he anticipated.
torn Herald.
The shah of Persia has sent the car
Of Russia a gilt sword worth $4,000.
Why didn't he send him suit of nitro
glycerine bomb proof armor, something
that would be useful to him?-NeW
Haven Register.
"SARAH is not very saving; she allows
too much to go to waist" remarked the
'Ond Boston parent when he came into
he room and saw his prospective son-in-
aw with his arms encircling his daughter.
Boston Globe.
LATEST shot at the aesthetics by Mr..
Punch: "Brown (Philistine) 80 I heard
t was all off between you and Miss
Roweshet. Wobbinson (@sth ct y
Ya-as. Incompatibility of complexion!
she don't suit my furnitchar ="
AN authority on fashion says that
IS frog green assimilates well with duck
blue, and such an assimilation seems ac-
,ording to the course of nature" Why,
we've been aware of this fact since we
irst saw ducks swallowing little green
:rogs in the MISUNDERSTANDING
Tribune.
DIR. HODGES, of st. Louis, lately took
4 pound of adipose tissue from the neck
If well-known real estate agent of that
,ity. Exchange. That's nothing. Chi
,ago real estate agents are obliged to
nave their cheeks pared three times a
week to prevent them growing over their
eyes.-Detroit Free Press.
A GUEST at Partisan hotel afterperus-
ng the menu with lowering brow, cried:
g Here, waiter, bring me some gram
natical and typographical errors.
w utSF- OH, we udfou duy- JuSo OAC,
,ir. Anything else, sir?" Guest Gin
terrible voice "Then, sir, why do you
nave them in the bill of fare? ?"
A CLERGYMAN was travelling through
he Humboldt mountains with an old
miner. Said the miner: "Do you real
y believe that God made the world in
TX days ?'' ssOf course 1 do" "We0,
ion't YOU think" returned the MINER"
9 that he might have put in one more
lay to advantage right around here ?"
TIE family was gathered on the YER
lnda. Presently robin alighted on
he lawn. "What beautiful plumage!'
reclaimed one of the ladies. "What a
weet voice l' said another. Chow
lightly he trips over the grass p re-
narked third. I" Fat p was the lacon-
G observation of the father of the fam
Ly. Said the small boy, "He'd make
oss pie p'-Bostoa Transcript.
AN American revision of the New