Morning journal and courier., 1881-10-08
NOT COPYRIGHTED.
KNEW HIM.

Home they brought her sailor lad, Grown q man across the sea, Tall and broad and black of beard And hoarse of voice as he may be. Hand to shake and mouth to kiss, Both he offered he spoke But she said, "What man is this Come to play sorry joke?" Then they praised him-called him sssmart' Brightest lad that ever stept :" But her she did not know, And she neither smiled nor wept. Rose nurse of ninety years, Saw him eat-sf 'Tis he l tis he !n She knew hin-by his appetite! little nut brown made-A peanut in a roaster. Cincinnati Saturday Night. "A prudent man," says witty French man, lis like pin. His head prevents him from going too far"
 If courting is public necessity, as an Ohio judge decides, why is it done so privately P Philadelphia Ct7o7aicle-H Herald.
 Professor Riley says kerosene is sure death to insects in all stages. It may be in stages, but how about hotels ?-LoaoelI Citizen.
 western physician claims that red clover blossoms will cure rheumatism. No man ever saw COW with the gout.-Neao Fork Commercial AdOerttser.
 It was not Mrs. Burlington, but another old lady of the same mental build, who said, the other evening, that she wished the calci- um days of her youth would return.-Boston Courier
 This is 8 beautiful language of ours. Ben Hogan, the retired pugilist, who has turned preacher, is spoken of as the ex-pounder of the prize ring and the expounder of the gos- pel.- Philadelphia C7saonic1e-H Herald. When old Mrs. Bunsby had got through reading in the paper an account of the last great fire, she raised her spectacles from her eyes to the top of her head and remarked, homeknit stockings, such as we make and wear in the country, they wouldn't be a bustin of their hose at every fire "-OI Ctty De7Tjck
 Fitznoodle was out again worrying the life out of the ducks with his shotgun. He bIazed away at some duckss and an unseen man on the other side of the pond rose up threateningly, with 8 long gun, and called out :: Did you shoot at me ?'' Did any of the shot hit you ?" inquired Fitznoodle 'fYes, they did, :" said the man, rubbing his legs. ''Then you may be certain I didn't shoot at you. I never hit anything I shoot at. Lancaster I7atezigencer.
 Major Sanger. who is known in military slang as 'tbantam," was returning one day recently from Bismarck to Fort Lincoln which is across the river, and the ambulance in which he was riding was delayed by team and wagon driven by one of the class known as mule-whackers in this country. The driver of the ambulance and the mule whacker got into wordy altercation, and Major Sanger got very indignant at what he believed to be impertinent language and un- warranted interference in his journey. He jumped from the ambulance, 6 Tom Thumb in size but Goliath in fury, and exclaimed, Get that wagon out of the way" The n111Ie.1yhaokar 1oOkad at him OuiZZlcallV. and asked, "Who the devil are you? ?" sI am Major Sanger of the army, sir, and I want you to get that wagon out of the way" The mule-whacker elected mouthful of tobacco into the road and remarked, ''Do you know what I will do with you, Major Sanger, of the army, sir, if you don't make less noise with your mouth ?'' s'What will you do ?" inquired the major, looking as large and fierce as possible. .'P1 set B mouse-trap and catch you, Major Sanger, of the army, sir, and give you to my puppy to play with ''-Chic0g0 Inter- Oce0n.