The Wellington enterprise. [volume] (Wellington, Ohio) 1867-188?, 1881-03-10
MARRYIN A WIDDER.


Nasby Owes aa Account 0f Hls Ylrst AaS.
risse-WAst He Expected ssA WAas 1s
(Ffom the Toledo Hade.l
CoNFKDRRrr K ROADS
7-S.ae"'oh Is In the ssa's " E.Sr,ssS SSensnesys
I wuz q young man and singlerly
averse to work. Work never agreed
with me. My prinsipie employment
wuz to lay under trees all day and COM
mune with nacher, unless ther wuz .
grosery convenyent, with some stranger
in it, wien wuz liable to ask the house
up to take suthin. / didn't feel the
need Nv much eggsercise, but wat
needed Good git at playin seven-up or
euker in the grosery hev menshuned.
Shufflin and deelin keerds develops the
muscles Nv the arm wonderful. BILL
yards wuz alluz too much for me.
The time cum, however, when 1t be-
cum necessary to do suthin for a liveli-
hood. wuz too yung to go into politix.
and the old man, my father, he got to
that age when it wuz all that he Good
do to borrer for hisself. He wuz git
tin old and wuznt ez strong ez he wunst
he'd bin. He intimatid to me that the
sooner shifted for myself the better
he'd no profeshen that wood enable
me to live without laber, and laber
wooden't.
NV father solved the problem. s.Mar-
~ q widder," said he-'.a widder with
q farm, and make her do the work.
Yoo are ekal to overseein farm. Amt
yerP'
remarked that Good see other men
SWEET without materially fatigein myself,
and that thot his segestion good one.
/ wood adopt it.
HARDLY wuz the Widder Tompson,
wich wuz the owner NV one NV the best
farms NV the seckshun. 1t wuz 200
akers of good land. well improved and
well stocked. She wuzn't eggsackly
wat wood be called handsome woman,
and wuz fifteen yeers older than me, but
didn't mind that. What cared that
her teeth wuz all out, and that she he'd
q goiter, and weighed 200 pounds2 Wat
cared 1 that she he'd q habit Nv goin
about with her stockins down at her
heels, and that she considered the time
spent in comm her hair ez wastidf
She he'd q farm, and that wuz enuf for
me.
laid siege to this venerable female.
and to my delite found her not averse
to q second chance at matrimony.
wuz . helthy young man, and not bad
loOkin. and looked ez tho l mite run
two or three farms to-wunst. She wuz
ruther lonesome on the farm, and 1t cost
pile NV money to hire help. and then
and, to make q long story short, she &C
cepted me, and we wuz yoonited in the
holy bonds Nv matrimony.
The fourth day Mrs. Nasby remarked
that we he'd he'd long rest, and 1t wuz
time we pot abOut our work
Pete" said she. "you want to take
the oxen this mornin and 60 and break
than lot behind the barn. 1t must be
done to wonst, and shood hev bin done
. week ago, but for this marryin biz
| MIS-"
"Excoose me, Mrs. Nasby;:' sez I,
going out and layin down under apple
tree with my pipe lightid. .breakin
| ground is not my lest holt. This scots
me better. 1 didn't marry to break
ground"
what" she eggsclaimed.
81 merely say that I shall not break
grounds. My biznis ON this farm Is
merely ornamental. I am willin to 90
and lay down in the field to be broke
and oversee the breakin, pervidid there
is a shade-tree under which kin lay.
But ez for takin hold Nv plow myself.
| never.
The woman looked at me in q Gazed
sort of way, for q mint. She he'd in
her rite hand q pale of soap-suds wich
she wuz a-goin to pour on the roots Nv
| q grapevine near me. Without word
nv warnin she histid that buckit OF
suds, hot ez it wuz, all over me, and in
another second he'd me by the hair. 1t
wuz time that l ASSERTED myself.
made up my mind to whale her then
and there, wunst for all, and hevin es-
ablisht my sooperiority, hev it all my
way ever afterward.
Assertin ones sooperiority is all well
snuff, but 700 want to be shoor about
| your strength, that bein the main pint
in any assertin biznis. riZ and grap-
pled her, and found that assertiz wuz
one thing and establishin quite another.
In less than q mint that infooriatid and
muskeler female he'd me on my back,
and wuz q maxim me ald-hedid at q
rate witch / never dreamed possible.
She tore out my hair by the handful,
she peeled my face in . mint, and in
less than four minits looked very much
like an old-fashioned frigate after an
encounter at short range.
"You won't work, won't YEP well,
guess you will! Yoo'll work on this
farm. or We won't eet. Yoo won't work.
won't yeP'
And then, ez ef the thot incitid
her to madnis, she tore out wat little
hair I he'd left, and knocked the last Bit
NV skin off NV my face, and dragged me
out to the lot.
"There is the plow, there is the
oxen, and there Is the ground. Yo<
sooperintend! I'll do that end NV the
biznis. Git to work, yoo broot, er-'
1 saw she wuz in earnest; and
yOked them oxen meekly, and wenI
to work in the hot sun, and she sot dowr
under q shade tree and kept me at it
without minit's rest till mite.
Her soOpremacy wuz ASSERTED and 60
tablished. Whenever dared to muir
muir. she wood exhibit . lock NV my
hair wich she kept by her, and tha
authority.
Two mizrable yeers I spent on tina
farm-two yeers NV agonizin labor
When she died, l diskivered that thu
place wuz mortgaged for all it WI,
worth, and that the money she got fol
it she had bequeathed to q neece u,
hern, and I wuz turned out on q COLI
world, with nothin, 'cept wat l man
aged to git off the place the night be
fore I left.
That wuz why l went into politix
Alter driftin some time, subsistin OF
wat chance threw in my way mites,
found that men nv my caliber are need
ed in politix, and that it is q shoorer liv
in than marryin widders; and / ikewis,
made up my mind that ef ever / shoo<
marry another widder it wood be on,
wich didn't weigh more than NINETY
pounds; and that l shood eggsamine th'
records afore the ceremony wuz per
nounst, and see that the farm didn't he,
no incumbrance onto 1t. Eggsperienc,
Is the only teacher.
Butt l shell never do it. Age he;
dimmed my arder, and long eggsperi
ence in borrerin enables me to live il
suthin like comfort, eff not In luxury