The Hickman courier. [volume] (Hickman, Ky.) 1859-current, 1881-07-15
HUMORs OF THE DAY.
SAp spectacles-Broken glasses.


MEN who are born equal-twins.
OPENING boil-taking off the tea
kettle lid.
A CIVIL engineer-O who gives
tramp free ride in caboose.
SPEAKING of avarice and generosity,
is the bee as stingy as the wasp?-StetL-
benUitle Herald.
RICHES may have wings, but they
don't seem to fly in this direction. Yora-
EerS Statesman.
TIE clown who got caught in heavy
rain without an umbrella, was damp
fool, wasn't e?-,StuebenUiUe Herald.
IT HAS been established at last that
the only disease to which you may not q
second time be liable, is the one that
kills first
TEACHER to small boy-''What does
the proverb say about those who live in
glass houses % Small boy"-Pull down
the blinds"
"Do you drink brandy?1 mo, / do not
drink brandy, but my brother Andy,
who is quite dandy. drinks brandy,
mixed with rock candy. ."-SteubenvitIs
Herald.
SHE was sweet sixteen when she re-
ceived box of caramels from her dear
Claude Augustus, and she was sweet
sickteen when she turned her tired eyes
upon Its emptiness.
WAR history: "What is the greatest
charge ON record?" asked the professor
of history And the absent-minded
student answered. Seventeen dollars
4or hack hire for self and girl for two
| Hours
THERE is a good deal of gush over a
driver on one of the street cars In Kan
/ -h., w lor
/ This is all wrong If the man is trying
to do right now, why bring up his past
life against him
/ 'WILL the coming man use both
hands?' is question asked by scien-
tific exchange. We do not see how the
coming man can use both hands unless
the coming woman drives the HORSE
PeckS SUM-
"How came you to fail in your ex-
amination?" asked the tutor. 81 thought
/ crammed you thoroughly" well,
you see, replied the student, ''the fact
was you crammed me so tight couldn't
get it out. Yale College Ne,0s.
"Do YOU know, Mr.. Smith" asked
Mrs. s., in a reproving way, "that that
cigarette is hurting you; that it is your
enemy 2" Eyes, replied Smith, calmly
eiecting feecy cloud; Eyes, I know ii,
and I'm trying to smoke the rascal
out.
MY ONLY books
Were women's looks,
And folly's all they taught me.
1 read them through,
What could do?
Their pretty bindings caught me.
-SenbsnViHe Herald
Now look at
And you shall see
The awful change they wrought me.
Detroit "Ch06."
Blind as bat
To this sad state they've brought me.
-Suadoy Capital.
A BoYwas eating away at big cocoanut
that had been cracked open with brick
bat, when pedestrian felt it his duty
to halt aud remark: ''Boy, don't you
know that too much of that stuff may
give you the eolic ?' 81 guess So" was
the reply. ''Then why do you eat it?''
, "Well, if my chum, who lives next door,
can stand the smallpox for six weeks, /
guess | can put up with the collie fol
three or four hoursI' was the reply as he
!, bit off another big hunk.
HEARD two damsels collaborating
produce a piece of poetry to bunch
, of dandeloins. With their eyes inten
upon the source of inspiration the
achieved two verses:
l Dandelion of golden hue,
What lot there are of you"
Mem FORK Letter.
! A SEWING machine agent in Litchfiel
proudly filings the following to tn
breeze:
DoMESTICs
For Sale and Repaired Here.
-Danbury Net0s