The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1881-08-19
BICYCLE EXERCISE.
Mr.. spOopcndyke Purchases VIA
chino and Makes a Nile "A Minute.

Mrs SpOOpendyke Purchases VIA
chino and Makes Nile "a Minute.
"Now, my dear, said Mn. Spoopen-
dyke, hurrying up to his wife's room,
"i If You'll come down in the yard I've
got pleasant surprise for you"
what is it ?" asked Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke, "vhat have you got, horse ?"
Guess again." grinned Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke. "It's something like horse"
~ know It's a new parlor carpet.
That's what it is u"
"No, it isn't either. said it's some
thing like horse that is, it goes when
you make it. Guess again."
Is it paint for the kitchen walls ?"
asked Mrs. Spoopendyke, innocently.
mo it amt, and it amt a hogshead
of stove backing, nor it ART set OF
dining-room furniture, nor it amt seven
gross Of stationary washtubs. Now guess
again.
"Then it must be some lace curtains
for the sitting-room windows. Isn't that
just splendid?" and Mrs. Spoopendyke
patted her husband on both cheeks and
danced down and down with delight.
"Its bicycle, that's what 1t is !"
growled Mr.. Spoopendyke. ~ bought
it for exercise and I'm going to ride it.
Come down and see me-"
: "Well, amt glad" ejacnlated Mrs.
Spooo endyke. "You ought to have
more exercise, and if there's exercise in
anything it's in bicycle. Do let's
see it
Mr.. Spoopendyke conducted his wife
to the yard and descanted at length on
the merits of the machine.
Sin few weeks I'll be able to make
mile minute, he said, as he steadied
the apparatus against the clothes post
and prepared to mount. Now, you
watch me 60 to the end of this path"
He got foot into one treadle ana
went head first into a flower patch,
the machine on top with a prodigious
crash.
Hadn't you better tie it up to the
post until you get on?" suggested Mrs.
Spoopendyke.
leave me alone, will we p demand
cd Mr.. Spoopendyke, struggling to an
even keel. I'm dom most o this my
self Now you hold on and keep your
mouth shut. 1t takes little practice,
that Q al. +"
Mr.. Spoopendyke mounted again and
scuttled along four or five feet and
topped over ON the grass plat.
"That's splendid !" commended his
wife. you've got the idea already.
Let me hold il for you this time"
IF you've got any extra strength you
hold your tongue, will yer?' growled
Mr.. Spoopendyke. 1T won't want any
holding. 1t amt alive. Stand back and
give me room, now"
The third trial Mr.. Spoopendyke
ambled to the end of the path and went
down all in heap among the flower
pots.
That's just too lovely for anythingl"
proclaimed Mrs. Spoopendyke. You
made more'n q mile minute that
time u
"Come and take it off |" roared Mr..
Spoopendyke. Help me up! Blast
the bicycle |" and the worthy gentleman
struggled and plunged around Like a
whale i'll shallow water.
Mrs. Spoopendyke assisted in righting
him and brushed him of.
- know where you make your mis-
take" said she. The littl. wheel
ought to go first like buggy. Try it
tuat way going Dtch.
MAYBE you can ride this bicycle
better than L can !" howled Mr.. Spoop-
endyke. "You know all about wheels |!
What you need noI Is lanter in your
mouth and ten minutes behind time to
be the City Hall clock Don't you see
the big wheel has got to go tirst?"
O. Yes, dear" murmured Mrs. Spoop-
endyke, "but L thought if you prac-
ticed with the little wheel at first, you
wouldn't have 80 far to fall"
"Who fell?" demanded Mr.. Spoop-
endyke. Didn't you see me step off {?
1 tripped; that's all. Now you just
watch me go back"
Once more Mr.. Spoopendyke started
In, but the big wheel turned around and
looked him in the face, and thea began
to stagger.
"Look ont! !" squealed Mrs. Spoop-
endyke.
Mr.. Spoopendyke wrenched away and
kicked and struggled, but it was of no
avail. Down he came, and the bicycle
was n hopeless wreck.
What'd ye want to yell for?" he
shrieked. Couldn't we keep your
mouth shut? What dye think y'are,
anyhow, a fog horn9 bod CAST the
measly bicycle 1" aud Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke hit it kick that folded him up
like bolt of muslin.
"Never mind, my DEAR" counseled
Mrs. Spoopendyke, "I'm afraid the ex-
ercise was too violent, anyway, and I'm
rather glad you broke it "
81 s'pose So" snorted Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke. There's $50 gone"
Don't worry, love. Ill 60 without
the carpets and curtains, and the paint
will do well enough in the kitchen. Let
me rub you with arnica."
But Mr.. Spoopendyke was too deeply
grieved by his wife's conduct TO accept
any Office at her hands, preferring to
punish her by letting his wounds smart
rather than to get well, and thereby re-
| lieYe her of any anxiety she brought on