Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1881-08-13
FRENCH NEWSPAPER WIT.
One gentleman asks another his politi

One gentleman asks another his politics.
well, says the other one, with hesita-
ton, You see, l am not quite sure-thas
is, l am neither with the fools nor the
knaves.
81 had feared as much" is the reply /;
| always thought you belonged to the OPP
position.
They are discussing gentleman, who,
OF course, is absent.
"How confident he is, too, about all
that he says" says one admirer.
Yes, indeed? The only drawback is
that three times out of four he hasn't the
remotest idea what it is he is SO confident
about"
A mother-in law of the period has found
an infallible recipe for being invited to
spend the summer at the seaside ION which
she Just dotesl with her beloved daughter.
The inscriptions woman brides her SON.
in laws physician to inform him under the
seal of professional secrecy that the sea
air must be kept from her or it will prove
fatal.
1.-Two months at the seaside, sir" says
the prince of science, - especially with
anything approaching to social excitement.
will carry her of. sir-kill her as dead as
mutton"
The young man writes dear mamma
pressing invitation by the next mail and
keeps open house. At the end of the
season he dies and the old lady tells her
daughters second what a model of aztec.
ton that seconds predecessor was.
Servant to mistress
" l wish, ma'am, instead OF telling me to
do so and so at any time please, you'd
tell me, ma am, to do it at certain day
and hour Then, if l don't do it, am in
the wrong, and l prefer to be"
His hair was beginning to be whitened
Ger with the SHOWS of age.
"Ha, ha, old fellow . says one of his
companions, "your hair is turning white ~
:" know it is, but with pride-"my
part is much wider than ever before 1"
At the little go :"
Examiner-Now, sir, give me your views
as to the ancient Persians
Candidate-They were happy nation,
sir.
Examiner Humph Well, describe the
Modes.
Candidate The Modes were a happy
nation, sir.
'fIiij Nhdb tIeS
Candidate tseverely)-What else? Sir,
happy nations are those whose history is
dull reading, hence will spare you the in
Fiction.
In the good old days when there were
kings in Naples, as the sovereign was walk
ing in his garden around he espied poor
poet bowling down to the ground, who pre-
sented his majesty with a copy of verses.
The King, whose infiexible rule it was
never to accept homage under such circum-
stances, shook his head sternly and was
about to pass on, when he was touched by
the pitiful pleading of the poets look.
my good fellow" said the monarch
kindly, "my rule is invariably to refuse,
but l will depart from it, in part, in your
favor"
And tearing off the last verse and half
the King placed it in his pocket and
walked on.
A police magistrate is questioning
tramp whose bearing indicates that he has
seen better DAYS:
eyes, sir" says the prisoner with a
sigh; " once, sir, was worth several mill
ions.
"Gambled, Ell ?"
"No, sir"
"squandered it in riotous living-wine
and women, en- q
No, sir.
"Then to what vice were you aldcted?"
" Friendship, sir"
Baron Adhemar de Sigognac is the
most perfect type of the country gen.
tleman. From eon to aeon he visits
Paris, and in order to keep abreast
of the times maintains note. book in which
he records the opinions passed on famous
people of the hour or the impression they
have left upon him. As thus:
Thiers-Collector of engravings.
A. Dumas, pere-Celebrated mulatto.
MacMahon-Brave on the field of battle.
Baudry-Paints in oils.
Hugo-Good author.
Jules Grevy Plays good game of bill
iards.
George Sapd-Wore mems clothes.
Gounod- Musician, decorated, like my.
self, with the order of Isabella the Catholic.
Emile de Girardin-Son.in. law of Nine.
Snphia Cav