Connecticut western news., 1881-02-23
WIT AND WISDOM.

IT IS remarkable how physicians love music. One hardly ever comes with out bringing violin.
 NEVER make fun of a poor singer. He may have fallen on the ice when young and cracked his voice. ....a
 THE Cincinnati Enquirer suggests that this would be good time to review the United States Navy on Pennsylvania avenue.
 SOMEBODY has discovered that Oincin- natl is called the Paris of America be- cause the Germans have taken possess sion of it. iHf
 THE ingenuity shown by cats in open
 ing doors IS something admirable. They also show much ingenuity in opening concerts
 WHENEVER you hear man asking life is worth living, you can make up your mind that he indorsed note and had to pay it. A LADY clerk in the Treasury Depart ment at Washington has written play called "Madge." It is in three acts and eight new dresses.
 A FOOLISH young maiden who married man who had lost both legs in the army went around boasting that she had secured Q husband who would never kick her.
 "Ir ALI the trees were bread and all the seas were ink, what should we do for drink 'Twould make 0 poor
 old man like me scratch his head and
 think" --
 THE Baroness Burdett- Coutts has
 presented her intended husband with
 magnificent stud of thoroughbred
 hunters. Her affection for him is
 stable one.
 ASA rule, a man who gives you a
 title of "General," or Major" or
 "Colonel" on the first acquaintance,
 will want to borrow $5 in about twenty
 five minutes.
 SAID Court street man: 1T don't
 know whether the world will come to
 an end in May or not but shant pay
 any debts before then and take the
 chance of avoiding it.
 THE Boston AdUertiser says New
 York man calls his sweetheart Kitty because she gets her back up so often. E A Syracuse fellow calls his girl Dinah
 because she eats so often. t-'-s , A LITTLE black-and-tan dog belong ing to Chicago lady swallowed a pair of costly diamond earrings. An emetie was given, and the lady recovered her
 property. But it was cold day for the
 dog F "WArER pipes frozen, eh ?" growled t Jersey City man as he came home to dinner. "Well, guess I'll thaw 'em out" The loss on the house was = $2, 500, but he thawed the internal t pipes. ...f IN PARIS they have cheated" <" cabs. t Mime. D., after taking one, shouts t out to the coachman: "See here, cab l by! is there no warm brick in this car \ riage ?" "Yes, ma'am." ''Then where
 is it?" "Under my feet"
 MEDICAL advice-'My son is troubled
 with weakness in one of his legs what shall l do for it?" inquiries an anxious parent in Berea, O. Perhaps = the shortest way would be to see the girl and ask her to sit on the other knee for awhile.
 "I WISH knew what to do to keep d my legs from going to sleep," said Gus 1T Spilkins, who is an awful prosy talker. Q "You can't keep them awake as long s as they are in your company, unless is you q uit talking" was the spiteful re- e ply of his friend.
 h THE agony is over. Ashmead Bart V lett has changed his name to Burdett- e Coutts, aud the richest woman in d England is happy. By the young 1t American taking the name of the is Baroness @ joke is spoiled. Were it ,e the other way some paragrapher is would have said something about Bart n lett pears.
 I A FOREIGN reviewer observes that MT. r, Keene, the draughtsman for Punch, has 10 found vein of humor in the modern " English educational system. His little e. schoolboys when asked, "Who signed I Magma Charta P" exclaim tearfully g. that "they didn't" Another boy, le asked by pretty lady teacher to define Ie a miracle, replies, "Mother says if you
 don't marry the new parson, 'twull be
 muracle." ....,
 JAPAN has her proverbs-many of d them good ones :-" If you hate any " one let him live." "We cannot build Q V bridge to the clouds" "The world is f. just as persons heart makes it. ' Je "The tongue three inches long can is kill a man six feet high" "Send Q Id child you love most on a journey" (to or save him from being spoiled by indul- in gence.) "Better avoid blame than 10 seek praise.'' "A beaten soldier fears f. reed" "Great men are spoken of fol te seventy-fve days" "Until polished Ii- the precious stone is not brilliant. lg HER ROOM. s le Four-snd-twenty hair-pins scattered every. lg where; or Funny bangs and frizzes and & switch of hair .ir Gaiy colored ribbons, dainty bits of lace, o Lots of other little things in her dressingcsse h. Most bale of cotton-wonder what it's forp ," Close beside corset lying on the foor 1's be Queerest-looking garments, colors mostly white .s Hanging a rocking-chair. Gracious! wha - sight