Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1881-05-26
From Mike Dodson.
SUBURBS ov ARKADY, May Esd, 1Ss

SUBURBS ov ARKADY, May Esd, 1881.
DEERE FRIEND:
Last Wensdy mite while ponderin' ovur the
kontents ov the REJIsTUR we notist tn At thar
wus konsidurable kommoshun amung the
popula.hun ov the Subirbs-buggees wus
goin' thithur and hithur. "Whot's up now"
We tho't, when OIL ov . suddint it dawnd on
us that it wus . wedin' up tn the churtch.
Thar wus whar the krowd went. And thar
wus rite purity guri oil dresst in white, and
lookin' so Mise aud swete, and, tn look on.
perfeckly harmless But, beware! fur she WIS
gettin' full rite, titel am interest tn hamer
big Teller about mi sise ovur the he'd with
brumstik, without fere Ov molestashun or
bein' afrade. AZ the preechur SADIE "Yu take
this ladi whu yu hold bi the hand fur yure
lawful and luvin' WIFI" when he sed eyes" it
okurd tn me that he wud wish he had sed
mo" when she had him bi the har and the
brumstik wus film thru the are. tel yu.
yung men, bewairl I've bin thar.
What il the mattur with the Bishups He
dident send oyur bed-slats enuf, an when
tina kane tina wus tn short; and the yung ladi
"a friend ov mine) stopt and told him. and he
sent sum NOR that wus tn short. And the
tryin' tn ketch him, fur he don't never intend
tn marri. wud suggest tn that yung ladi he
kolled on Sunda evenin' that eft she luses hur
hart she ma hav tn du az wun did that l hurd
ov-marri q yung man bekaws the looks so
mulch like the Bishup." Now, gurls, yu
must ketch him eff yu kan; but so mani hav
bin fulcd that wantid tn warn yu in time.
He IL gud ketch; let's sc whu IL the lucki
wun.
Then that fishin' parti whu went tn Black
rivur. Tu bad tina got so badli skart 80 sumo
fur it ma spoil oil Their fishin' fur the rest ov
the sumner. Tina got doun to Blum's, an that
mite hurd that Brown, Hamlltun and Miers
had shot Hatton and Davis, and wus cumin'
on toards the ralerode. So Sheriff Flechur
thot he had bettur git home and git possee
reddi tn meat 'em; and Moxsr thot thar must
be sum important bissnes at the Land Otis tn
attend tn; and Frank Skovil kondiudid that
that nu wheel must be cumin' inland az tina
oil had pressin' bissnes tn hum, tina dnmpt
the Winners intu the rivur, and tuck the furst
trane fur NOR helthi klimat. We ar glad tn
Sc 'em bak safe. We hope tina vii be abel tn
sta longur the mex time tina go fshin'.
The brige IL safe now-oll the dangur thar
tx, II ov c-siknes. We no ov kwite number
ov ladies whu hav had spell ov c-siknes frum
krossin' on 1t. When the ladies ov the Su-
birds wants tn go IN Iruntun, tina git or
tugether and go doun tn the bridge, then
draw straws tn Sc whu vii max the fust pas
sig. The lucki wun Cos ovur shutin' her eya
so she kant Sc the brige I'll up and hit hur.
Ell she gifts ovur safeli. the uthers (whu hav
hin lookinS m frum the tor, etenl 20 Ovur
bodili. Their sanst wa tn go ovur that brige IL
tn kosn it. What luvli site it wud be tn sc
six or sewn ladies koonin 1t akros that brige.
Thar hax bin so mutch ssd abowt the Red
Rfbbun that think shall hav tn tax 1t in mex
woke. Tha 60 It IL fin. VIII ant ~ told me
ov this befour, when ~ no lik tn tax in the
sitesa Enuf sed this time,
NIKE DoDsoN.