Litchfield enquirer. [volume] (Litchfield, Conn.) 1829-current, 1881-01-06
CLIPPINGS.
Canned tomatoes are ripe.

canned tomatoes are ripe.
Ahumorous artIcle-a baby with the rash.
Man wants but little here below, and he gets
it.
Uneasy lies the had hat eats cracker.
ghile in eed: - -.
iToo many Chr istians fear Almighty God
and worship the Almighty Dollar
Wanted-a bank. 1t must be sound in ev-
cry respect, gentle and kind, and warranted
not to break.
cross-eyed and freckled they would be more
life-like.
"Man luvs chance so we'll. that he had
rather win so cents than earn dollars regu-
lar"
"Do you throw in fire escape with this
whiskey ?" was asked in Wheeling bar-room
the. other day.
A little boy in Georgia, who wrote to Santa
Claus for pony was wise enough to add ::
!, poscrit' Fl he sa mole Pies ty his behine
The Methodist church in New Jersey has
set its foot down against kissing at church
fairs, and a heap of old bachelors will ha We
to rub rhubarb on their lips as substitute.
"What decoration is that you are wear
ing!" said an Austrian sergeant to a new re-
cruit. The man blushed deeply and respond
ed: "lt is medal our COW won at the cattle
show"
Most of us can do some good in this world.
Ii we cannot beat the hewgag in front of bat.
tie, we can at least spank the small boy who
disturbs the neighborhood with his tin whis-
tie.
Senior asked professor very profound
4uestiens Professor ''MrlW = Tool can
ask al qees.dp that ten wise men could. not
answ@. RSeniors: ''Then suppose that's
why q nanyof US funk,"k 80 NH
L when yau bear a youdg lady. ssssv careful.
ly say: Il haven't saw" you may be quite
confident that she is recent graduate from
one OF the most thorough of our numerous
female seminaries
Some fellow has discovered that there are
80 525 ways of spelling scissors. II he had
been correcting manuscript for newspaper,
he would have discovered that there are about
999, 999 ways of spelling every word in the
English language.
Emerson .ecommends that man should
carry pencil and memorandum book and note
ktowR his thoughts as they came to him.
Fss6 man running away from a policeman,
however. the jotting down business would be
dangerous.
A lady walking with her husband at the
seaside inquired of him the difference be-
tween expectation and transportation why,
my dear, he replied, IF You were on hoard
yonder vessel leaving America, you would
ne exported and should be transported"
1t was on the Burlington railroad train, and
politics had given way to theology, and the
young man with the turban hat had the floor.
and was denouncing the old fashioned idea OF
hell, 81 tell you" he cried. ..man was never
intended for such fiendish punishment Ged
never made me for kindling wood" Reckon
not, said the old parson, back near the stove.
l 'toQ green. tx didn't &c. aad elaborate and
expkain what IL meant, bIa sqsneb OF otl,er
evs bod sesened to uadeTstaua him and
!, s|''s az .ls.s t'' esE| 30
The Bible says: "Pray for your enemies
An up country man tried it, He sailed in at
prayer meeting and prayed that his enemy
might be forgiven for all the deviltry he ba d
committed and might be turned from the err
ror of his way. And the enemy, who was
present, began about that time to Ore hvmn
books, and pretty soon started for the PRAYING
gentleman; and it was clear that the PRAYER
was not answered, for the enemy had 10 he
pulled eff the prayist. who was toted home an
settee. That man wont pray for his cne-
mica again