Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1881-04-24

amazement, until Uncle Rob laughed
and snorted so that he surely had
choked himself to death if Jim had
not pounded him on the back, nearly
killing himself with laughing at, the
same time
AS for me, I was so diverted by the
whole scene that I rushed out on the
porch where 1 might giggle as much
as / pleased without being overheard !;
so do not know how they settled the
matter. By and by heard my name
mentioned. They were explaining
that was their niece, visiting them,
and they did not know how old I was
exactly, and Jim said.-
"Amt Tab, how old is Kate, any
way e.
"Oh, she she must be twenty. six or
seven, at least said Aunt Tab; 81
don't know exactly, but she's an old
maid this long time-I know that.
Yes, said Jim, I" she's an old maid
she's AN old maid. Ha! hal and
he waltzed and capered out of the
room, still singing, She's an old
maid! She's an old maidi''
Jim is very near thirty himself, if
you care to examine the record.
1 was SO angry that I did not know
what I could do to revenge myself on
the great BOBBY. Icould forgive Aunt
Tab, for knew her spite about ages.
AT twenty three, ought to have had
more strength of mind than to allow
such a circumstance to annoy me !;
but the more ]. thought, the angrier
became.
l remembered with great satisfac-
ton that had never been very friend
ly to Jim, never speaking to him I'M
less it was mere answer to his greet
ing, or acknowledgment Of gifts OF
flowers. a
Ibid not care so much for being called
an old maid, for I expected to be one.
I could have forgiven his words; but
the expression Of his face, or the
manner of his exit never! I made up
my mind to go home the first time
they had time to take me to the
depot.
After this I felt better; SO went
back to my original position. AS
had taken care not to answer any
calls for Katie. they had left me, and
were at work at the farm scheduled
The gentleman asked Uncle Rob
how much his farming implements
were worth. Uncle seemed to have
an idea that strangers were little
deaf, for he always talked at 1.-THE
top of his voice." though in general
his tone was rather low. So now he
began to yell.
Well, I'll just tell you; my farm
ing instruments are poor, very poor.
not worth much.'
This was his regulation answer to
assessors, and now he went on to
depreciate the value Of his property
to such an extent that he could not
tell that anything was worth anything.
In vain did the census taker say
again and again.
"Well, if you do not know how
much they are worth, make an esti-
mate of some kind. Lump them alto
gether, and make an estimate -
"Well, indeed said Uncle Rob,
if / could do it I would willingly !;
but if I was to be hung this minute,
I couldn't tell.''
And SO it was with the cattle, the
horses. the corn.
"Why," said he "if l was to have q
stack of Bibles as high as I could
reach / couldn't tell how much corn
we raised. I fed it all, and did not
sell any. How can L tell how much
there was Of it when the critters ate
it all up?''
The poor enumerator tapped his
pen on his book, scratched his head,
and finally bowed his head On his hand
in silent despair, after last terrible
but vain effort to keep Uncle Robert
on one subject long enough to tell
him, in a sensible way, at what sum
his land had been appraised, which, as
matter of course, he "did not know
had known at the time; but his land
| was not of the best, and of course had
not been appraised high, etc., ETC..
I was disguised, amused and aston
ished all in a breath at the amount of
neighborhood news, past events,
trials, troubles and tribulations, nee
essary to be accounted and comment
ed upon in order to get at a few items
connected with farm of less than a
| hundred acres. / suppose the gentle
man thought it was rare joke to sit
on the doorstep and ask Aunt Tab
her age, but she was amply avenged
| by Uncle Robert, who worried the
poor man nearly to death before he
found himself at liberty to depart at
| last.
That evening I kept in the back
| ground, reading diligently, as it had
been my custom to do, and when !
thought they were all busily engaged
in conversation, and no one was look
ing at me, I managed to slip a small
piece Of paper into book of Jim's.
On the paper was written, ''She's an
| old maid! She's an old maid Ha
hal" This was to be reminder,
when I should have gone home, that
| Jim might know, whenever he found
| it, that / was mortally offended. ]
wished afterward that / had not done
it; but when / went to remove the
| paper I found that Aunt Tab had
been cleaning up and the book was
gone. / could not find it. I was
afraid to inquire about it, for l had
not planned that Jim should see the
writing until I was safe at home, as /
had put it in book he seldom used.
| I was in agony lest some one might
| see and recognize the writing, for