The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1881-07-21
HUMOR.

What one Of the sex says: A little
old maid confesses that the smallest
women look hopefully to Hymen.
There is a difference between the
lips OF young man and the lips OF o
young lady--but sometimes it Is O
mighty small one.
About Z. 900, 900, 900 pins are made in
the United States every year. Just abont
enough to hold seven women's toilets
in position.
Rev Mr. Haweis, the great London
preacher, PLAYS the violin. Thus tum-
bles another idol in the dust-a bow
idol, as it were.
1t was quite natural that the prodi-
gal SON should speak to his father in a
husky voice after returning from the
picnic.
"Whet is the reason Colonel Nc
Spilkins does not live with his wife any
morepn asked Gilhooly of an Austin
lawyer. '"rhere are sundry and di-
vorce reasons" responded the lawyer
solemnly.
In the ladies' cabins Of the Hohoken
ferry-boats the following notice has
recently been posted: "The seats jim
this cabin are reserved for ladies' -
Gentlemen will please not occupy them
until the ladies are seated.
Whom a Boston girl is presented with
bouquet she says: ooh, how deli
ciously sweet; its fragrance impene-
trates the entire atmosphere of the
room" A down-east girl simply says:
at smells scrumptious; thanks, Reu-
ben"
Optics" Lecturer-Now let any
one gaze steadfastly on any object
say, for instance, his wife's eye-and
he'll sec himself looking so exceeding
ly small that. Strong-minded lady
Gin front row. Hear! hear! hear!
"Eloise" asks if we will publish her
poem on "The Wavelet of the Riyu-
let" With smilelet upon our facelet
we reply yes. Write only one sidelet
of the sheetlet Eloise, and put on
enough stamplets. Your pomelet shall
have spacelet.
Boston girls are very proper. When
young man was assisting south-end
lass to tie on her bonnet, which, by the
way, had to be tied at the back Of the
neck, she insisted that he should stand
in front of her so she could keep her
eye on him.
Providential: Mamma-"Did you
enjoy your ride, ElsieT' mo, man,
ma, aud reason enough, for Connie
James says the Van Smiths are going
to give dance, and we're not asked"
Mamma-"Well, my dear, your poor
aunts death was proyidential-of
course we can't 60"
An exchen re states that in enc of the
towns in Wyoming territory there is a
placard in the hotel dining-room which
announces that a discreet waiter, who
was never told to tell even the time Of
day. is employed tc carry milk-puncht $
and hot toddies to ladies' rooms in the
evening.
A San Francisco lady wanted her
little girl to bath in room the windows
of which opened into the yard, in which
we're some fowls. "But, said the lit
| tie girl, 81 don't want to battle Eefore
the chickens" ''Oh, never mind the
Chickens" said the mother 'Well,"
said the little woman, II wont battle
before the rooster, anyhow"
"Are you fond of Wagner's works?"
asked Mr.. Sharpe. ''Fond OF themr'
exclaimed Miss Posigush, II think they
are just splendid! So easy and COM
Portable, you know. Why, l rode in
one from Boston to Chicago, and l was
not one bit tired when ! got there
Mr.. Sharpe sighed sorrowful sigh,
but he managed to call up sickly
smile and say that he didn't refer to
| Car tunes.
"The whisper of beautiful wo-
man," says Balzac, can be heard fur
Their than the loudest call of duty."--
But the man who is creeping upstairs
with his boots off at 2 o'clock A. NJ,
and hears the whisper of his wife as
she leans over the bannisters in the
darkness, doesn't think Of her beauty.
His chief thought is how much he
would like to exchange his boots for q
pair of wings.