The semi-weekly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1879-1882, 1881-12-08

De time nut tor you to heller when
yer mother sees yer close"
A Sioux BILL OF FARE.-One of
the peculiarities Of the latest United
States style of feeding the noble red
man is the fact that he is given Gov
eminent rations, and at the same
time appropriations are made which
are supposed to maintaia him.
Sometimes wild Indian who don't
know much about groceries and how
to prepare them for food, comes in and
draws bis regular soldier rations in
this way. For instance, up in the
Sitting Bull Country awhile ago an
Indian came 10 from the Warpath who
had never seen any of the paleface
style of food and drew his rations-
he made light meal Of unground
coffee the FIRST day, and as he overate
and the coffee swelled on him, he had
difficulty in buttouing his pants
around the paiu he had on hand.
He felt very unhappy for day or
two, but laid it to the fact that he
hadn't. exercised much, and the con-
sequent ennui and indigestion re-
Aulting therefrom.
As soon as be succeeded in getting
the interior department quieted down
little, he tackled his rations of can
dies. These he decided to parboil in
order to avoid trouble from indiges-
ton. The dish was not SO much OF
glittsring success as he had antici-
pated, and Is he remorsefully picked
the candle wicking out Of his teeth
with q tent pin, he made some remark
that grated harshly on the aesthetic
ears Of those who stood near.
He then tried meal of yeast pow
der with vinegar. He ate the yeast
powder and then took pint of ex-
tremely potent vinegar to wash it
down.
At first there was feeling of glad
surprise in his stomach, which rapidly
gave place to unavailing remorse.
A can OF yeast powder in an In
dams midst don't seem to be prepared
for pint Of vinegar, and the result
Of such an unfortunate circumstance
ia not gratifying.
Every little while look Of pain
would come over the features of the
noble child Of the forest and then he
would jump about seventeen feet and
try to kick q cloud out of the sky
Then be would sit down and think
over his past life.
1t took about week for him to gel
back to where he dared to get ur
another meal for himself. Then be
fricassed couple Of pounds Of laun,
dry soap and ate that.
Soap is all right for external pur.
poses or for treating a pair of soiled
socks, but it does not assimilate with
gastric juice readily, and those who
have tried laundry soap as relish
do not scent to think that it will eve,
arrive at any degree of prominence al
an article of diet.
That Is why this untusored chile
Of nature swore. he had never re.
ceived the benefits Of early training
in profanity, and his language, there
fore, was disconnected and rambling
but when We consider that he wa
ignorant of our language and thai
every little while he had to stop anc
hold on his digester with both hand
and dig great holes in the earth will
his toes the remarks didn't seem alto
esther out Of place or irrelevant.
When gallon or SO of agitatet
baking powder aud vinegar is singin,
its little song in the innsrmost reces
ses of an Indian aud this has been fol
lowed by treatment of laundry soal
the student of human nature can fin,
wide field Of observation in tina
locality.
The earnest and occupied look til
troubled expression of the counteu
aucs followed by the quick nervorl
twi.ching of the muscles of the fs.cs
aud then the swelling up and burssin
of the suspender button, the deer
drawn sigh and the smothered Gus.
word, all betoken the gastric agitatio
going on within.
That is why an Indian prefers
link of bologna sausage and tw
year old dog to the high priced gre