The Red Cloud chief., 1881-05-12
Have Cows Front Teeth In Their Cp.
per JaWsf

ec !.
the other. = Jackson street man. il cows
had any front teeth on their upper Jaw.
The Jackson street man was n little
astonished at the question. as there had
been nothing said about cows. but re-
piled promptly:
why, of course they have front
teeth on their upper jaw; how could
they bite OF grass il they hadn't?'
The Van Buren, street man said il Was
not . question OF logic, but . question
of fact; and il the Jackson street man
did not know whether cows had front
teeth on the upper jaw or not. he ought
to say so. Il did not ask you for your
opinion" he said; IL asked if you
knew"
The Jackson street man was \ little
nettled at this. aid replied with some
warmth. He said il he had n child
three years old who would ask such a
question as that he should be afraid the
child was an idiot.
You would?"
81 certainly should"
Then" said the Van Buren, stree,
man, las it is such . simple question,
of course you can tell me whether cows
have got front teeth on their upperjaws
or whether they have not"
"Why, of course they have"
They have, eh?'
Yes"
"rn bet you ten dollars they
haven't" said the Van Buren, street
citizen. pulling out a roll OF bills. and
peeling of a couple Of iives and shaking
them at his neighbor. Put upor shut
up"
There is some Internal catch about
this thing" said the other, suspicious
ly; IL might have known it. too, the
minute you asked me such IN Internal
idiotic question"
"No catch At all about it." replied
the other. ii cows have got front teeth
on their upper jaws the ten dollars is
yours. II they haven't the money is
mine. Nothing could be fairer than
that. could there?"
But still the Jackson street man hest
tated. 1t was barely possible that cows
did not have any front teeth on their
upper jaws. He remembered. then.
that cows in biting off grass always
threw their noses outward. while horses
nipped it of by jerking their nose in
ward. He was astonished At how near
he had come to being yictimized, but
he did not like TO come down. The
two were then near the meat market,
near the corner of Jackson and Michi-
gan streets. and the jackson street man
was sure that a butcher would know
for certain whether or not cows had
front teeth on their upper jaws; so he
pushed open the door and said To the
proprietor:
'Linehan, have cows got front teeth
on their upper jaws?'
Linehan was running q skewer
through a roast Of beef, hut he stopped,
looking up in establishment, and said:
WHAT"
'.Have cows got front teeth on their
upper jaws?"
'.COws?'
yes"
"Got front teeth on their upper
jaws"
Yes"
Upon my word don't know"
'YOu don't know"
mo. You see | buy my beef by the
quarter a. the slaughter-house, and
don't have anything to do with the
heads. But | can find out for you when
l 60 over"
II wish you would"
So the Jackson street man closed the
door, and rejoined his neighbor, and
the two walked along without saying q
word. A milk wagon was seen coming
up the street, and it wa resolved to
hail the driver and ask him the ques-
ton, rs it is popularity supposed that
milkmen are more or less familiar with
cows. The Van Buren, street citizen
cleared his throat and yelled. .'Heliow
The milkman refined up, and said:
go ahead with yOur tests. II you
find any water or chalk in that milk I'll
give you the whole of it,"
The citizen told him TO be calm, as
they had no intention of testing his
milk, but only wanted to know if
cows had front teeth on their upper
jaws.
The milkman locked at them about a
minute and then whipped up his horses
and drove of, mentioning some kind Of
a fool that they were. Up on Wiscon-
sin street they saw another milkman,
delivering milk, and overtaking him
they explained the dispute. He smiled
pityingly upon their Ignorance, and
said:
..Of course cows have front teeth on
upper jaws-a driveling idiot
ought to know that much. A COW
would be a handsome-lookinS object
any front teeth in her upper
Jaw. wouldn't she?'
1--WE concluded to take that bet of
YOURS" said the Jackson street man To
the other. Come. now. down with
your dust. Put up or shut up"
'.Why didn't you do il. then, when
you had a chance?: | never claimed to
know whether n COW had any upper
on her front jaw or not: | only
thought I had read so somewhere, and
asked to know if you knew about 1t for
But now that the thing is
there is nothing to bet on a ! 1
see."
80. of course not" said the Jackson I
nan sarcastically; .'Of curse /:
i
Just then Mr.. Clark. of the NewhaIl e,
happened along. and as the (:
niikman picked up his lines and drove
,ff. the Van Buren-street man asked
Mr.. Clark if he knew anything about 4
Mr.. Clark said he did. having ]
been a farmer and a cattle I
,uyer. 4
Well" said the Van Buren, streeter,
do you know l got the queerest idea I
nto my head this morning about cows
hat a man ever had. Somehow or I
'ther | got the idea that cows had no c
ront teeth on their upper jaw; and | ,
offered to bet ten dollars with i
his man that such was the case. I don't 9
ee what possessed me-"
"Well. if you had bet. you would !
ave won the money said Mr.. Clark. 9
What exclaimed both the citizens 5
!
II say If you had bet you would have i
on the money. for COWS have NO front r
eeth on their upper jaws {
Sweet spirit hear my prayer said {
he Van Buren-street citizen. as he
rought out his roll and peeled of the j
lives again and shook them at the n
ackson-street man. who turned awav q