Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1881-03-19
Mark Twain Tells a Story.

At recent dinner of the Boston Papy-
rus Club, Mark Twain, being called upon
for speech, said:
81 am perfectly astounded at the way
history repeats itself. find myself sit
uated at this moment exactly and pre-
cisly as l was once before, years ago, to
jot, to a tittle-to very hair. There
isn't a shade of difference. II is the
most astonishing coincidence that ever
but wait. l will tell you the former
instance, and then you will see it your
self. Years ago l arrived one day at
Salamanca, N. Y, eastward-bound.
Must change cars there and take the
sleeper train. There were crowds of
people there, and they were swarming
into the long sleeper train and packing
it full, and it was a perfect purgatory OF
rush, confusion, gritting of teeth, and
soft, sweet, and low profanity. j asked
the young man in the ticket-ofiice if !
could have sleeping section; and he
answer 'No!' with a snarl that shriv-
eled me up like burned leather. / went
off smarting under this insult to my dig
nifty, and asked another local official,
suplicatingly, if couldn't have some
poor little corner somewhere in a Sleep
ing-car; and he cut me short with aven-
omous No, you can't; every corners
full. Now don't bother me any more, '
and he turned his back and walked off.
My dignity was in state now which
can not be described. was so ruffled
that-well, l said to my companion, If
these people knew who am, they -
but my companion cut me short there
and said, Don't talk any such folly; if
they did know who you are, do you sup
pose it would help your high mightiness
to vacancy in train which has no
vacancies in itP' This did not improve
my condition any to speak of, but just
then / observed that the colored porter
of the sleeping-car had his eye on me.
| saw his dark countenance light up
He whispered to the uniformed conduct
or, punctuating with mods and jerks to-
ward me, land straightway this conductor
came forward, oozing politeness from
every pore, and said: 'Can l
be of any serviceP VIII you
have place in the sleeperP' Yes l
said, 'and much obliged, too.s Give me
anything; anything will answer He
said, I'VE have nothing left but the big
family stateroom, with two berths and
couple of armchairs in it, but it is en-
tirely at your disposal. Here, Tom,
take these sachels aboard He touched
his hat and we and the colored Tom
moved along. l was bursting to drop
just one little remark to my companion,
but l held in and waited. Tom made
US comfortable in that sumptuous great
apartment, and then said, with many
bows and perfect afliuence of smiles
Now, is dey anything you want, sahP-
case you kin have jes anything yor
wants. 1t don't make any difference
what it is | said, Can have som,
hot water and a tumbler at 9 tonight
. blazing hot? You know about the RICH
temperature for hot Scotch punch.
yes, sab, dat you kin; you kin pen OF
it. I'll get it myself Good! Nov
that lamp is hung too high. Can
have big coach-candle fixed up at thu
head of my bed, so that l can read com
fortablyp' 'Yes, sab, you kin. III fl
her up myself, an I'll fix her up 81
she'll burn all night. Yes, sab; an
you can jes call me anything you wants
and dish yer whole railroad'll be turned
wrong eend up an inside out for to gi
it for you. OATS so.' And he disap
peared. Well, l tilted my head back
hooped my thumbs in my arm-holes
smiled smile at my companion, ant
said, gently; well, what do you sa'
nowP' My companion was not in
humor to respond, and didn't. TIL
next minute that smiling black face wa
thrust in at the crack of the door, ant
this speech followed: 'Laws bless you
sab, knowed you in a minute. toll
de conductah so. Laws! knowed yo
de minute | sot eyes on you SIS tina
so, my boyP Handing him a quadrupl
feel Who am IP' Jennul Mcclellan,
and he disappeared again. My com
panion said vinegarishly, well, well
} what do you say now!' Right Their
! comes in the marvellous coincidence
mentioned a while ago, viz: was
speechless; and that is my conditio
, now. Perceive itp' .x