Arizona weekly citizen., 1881-10-30
ENERGY ON TAP.
Mrs spOOpsndyke's Rather Confused Ideas About
 Canned Electricity.
TBrooklyn Farls.I

| Brooklyn Eagle.
 q see that a Frenchman has got pat ent for canned energy observed Mrs. | SpOOpendyke, as she picked up a lot of cut steel beads on a needle and began sewing them on medalhOns for dress trimming.
 "Got a what?" interrogated Mir. SpoOp- endyke, who was backing his hoots. Yes. He says he can put strength up m bundles and send 1t anywhere, so they can run ships and things without steam. He sent ever so much over to Scotland
 "What circus bill have you been read ing now ?' inquired Mir. SpOOpendyke, glaring at his wife.
 Its SO" she replied, T saw it in the papers. He does 1t up like preserves, and 1t lasts ever so long, and it's just as fresh and strong when they open It as 1t was at first"
 Who puts it up? Who're you talk- ing aboutg"
 "A Frenchman. He gets a lot of strength and fixes it with electricity {; and you can buy t anywhere. I'm going to get some and take it. Itll be just as good as going Tn the country, and maybe It Il help my headaches. l suppose the Government will buy a lot of it for | tramps.'
 You gone crazy again :r demanded | NIT. SpOOpendyke. What d'yo mean by putting strength Tn boxes Think ener- gy Is some kind of dOd gasted fish {? SpOse you can put main strength up in bottles like a measly shrimp? If you're going to read, why don't you read straight ?"
 "Why, I did He has some kind of a machine and he makes energy SO it will | last, and then he soldiers It up in tins, or something, so you can keep it in the house. I'm going to have some to do the washing"
 Does 1t strengthen up the mind of a dod gasted idiOt:" blurtel out Mr. | SpOOpendyke. "Can it make a measly | SpOopendyke woman talk sense?" The paper didn't say; but if it is all they claim for 1t, 1t will be a great help in hOuse-cleaning and moving the step ladder around when you want to hang ! pictures. And then 1t saves boiling beef tea. Oh, you ought tO read about it. They say its the greatest invention of the age"
 Dye mean to tell me that they re selling muscle by the keg? Want me to understand that some frog-eater Is keeping industry on draught? Think I'm an assy'
 60 That's what the Eagle says" reiOin- ed Mrs. Spoopendyke. with a wOman's implicit reliance on anything in print. And they can make any quantity of 1t cheap, SD We can have all We want. l wish you'd get some right of, and vel try 1t on the Fridays sweeping"
 "Qutf' h0wled NIT. SpoOpendyke. " Stop making an idiot asylum of your- self, SpOse you can make me believe that house cleaning comes in jugs? Think I'm going to believe that a weeks wash comes in a box, like measly pills? Perhaps you want me to think that your dod gasted stuff will pay the rent and run my businessi Next time you strike a corn salve you read 1t understanding ly, dye hear2 Energy by the pint! Strength by the yard Got, that rip sewed up in my pants:'
 Yes, dear" murmured Mrs. SpOOp- endyke Ineekly, and Mir. SpOopendyke having arrayed himsel', plunged out of the house and made for the ferry boat.
 Hello, Spoopendyke" saluted his friend SpecklewOttle, see this thing in the paper about the Freuchman who IS boxing up energy?'
 Yes, certainly,' replied Spoopen- dyke, " and I've been all the morning trying to explain it to my wife, but these women can't understand such things. HOw's stocksy