The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1881-03-31
HUM0R.

IuUt0 GIRLS LllN Ilh@c VI llD iuOOu
silver mug in the sky,
The cream of joke should never be
sour. WhitehdH Times.
Birds are entitled to justice When
man is INDUCING in frolic, to say
he's tout on lark is Il libel on that
bird. He is really out on a swallow.
The heat Of genuine affection can
find no more glowing expression than
that of the Irishman who said, "Arrah,
darlin', wish was in Jail for stealing
ye."'
Gum arabic dissolved in whisky will
keep the hair cured in damp weather
--Erchonge. little sugar dissolved
in it has similar effect on the legs. -
JOhn B. cough,
After girl has spent day sewing
red trimming around the bottom of her
dress, nothing bothers her so much as
to have friend whisper; "Your petit
coat is coming of, "
IF Jones undertakes TO pull my
ears" said loud-mouthed fellow on a
street corner, "he will just have his
hands full" The crowed looked at
the mans ears and thought so too.
A Connecticut man is named Ratz.
He has petitioncd the Legislature to
change his name to Rates, because he
is tired of hearing his children spoken
of by the neighbors as mice.
When u man says to his next door
neighbor who has lost his pet bull dog,
I'm sorry poor Boray is dead, set
that man down as one who holds the
truth but lightly and probably poison
ed the dog. Bosi0n Post.
Much unconscious humor is to be
found in the menace lately sent TO Lord
Morris Fitzgerald by his tenants, TO the
effect that, though he would certainly
be shortly shot, nothing would be done
TO brighten or annoy Lady Adela, his
wife.
Al am a skepticn' said an immature
person of the masculine gender in a
yninglorious strain, IAN epileptic?"
asked an old lady somewhat hard of
hearing. Poor boy! You look like it,
so you do" While the smile went
round, the youth went out.
The new Bishop of Liverpool is noted
for not being very successful in conciliat-
ing people Being recently requested to
address an assembly Of medical men,
he remarked, 81 am not ashamed to say
/ have a son doctor" The audience
hardly seemed to appreciate the COM
pliment.
"Why. Bridget" said her mistress,
who wished to rally the girl, for the
amusement of her company, upon the
fantastic ornamenting of plate of
butter. why. Bridget did you do
this? You're quite an artist; how did
you do itp' "Indade mum, it was my
self that did it, replied Bridget,
"lsn't it pritty mum? | did it with
your iine-tooth comb num-"
A little 3-year- girl who volunteer
ed to say grace at the table did as fol-
lows: "Oh, Lord, Dress the things we
eat; Dress mamma and papa and gamma
and gampa" and here, casting up her
eyes TO her grandfather in the next
seat, and discovering that he was smil-
ing, the little one closed her prayer by
saying: Behave yourself gampa-for
Christ's sake. Amen.
The New Haven Register inquiries:
"Isn't it strange how recklessly boy
disregardS comfortP He will have wet
feet. cold fingers, frost-bitten ears, and
be shivering chilly, but you can't pull
him into the house by the kitchen stove.
Not much He will dance with his
fingers in his pockets, and 'holler' to
the boys across the street and imagine
he is having 'raving fun"
A husband of very fashionable and
talkatiye wife was out walking u few
days ago with his little girl, when he
met friend, who admired the child
very much. 1T is beautiful child
said the friend, and looks very much
like its mother particularly about the
mouth" Maybe so" responded the
husband-father, but never seen her
mouth at rest long enough to tell what
1t looks like. '-GGIrcStOR NewS.
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