St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1881-08-26
Amusing Mistakes.


The numerous instances of mistaken
idenity on record are constantly receiv-
ing new additions. There is an anus
ing account of French lady who was
very Jealous of her husband, and de-
termined to watch his movements. On
one occasion, when he told her he was
going to Versailles, she followed him,
keeping him in sight until she missed
him in a passage leading to the rail-
way station. Looking about her for a
few minutes, she saw man coming
out of a.glove shop with rather over
dressed lady. Making sure from the
distance that this man was her hus-
band, she came suddenly up, and with
out IA word of warning gave him three
or four boxes on the ear. The instant
the gentleman turned round, she dis
covered her mistake, and at the same
time caught sight of her husband, who
had merely called at a tObacconist's
and was crossing the street. There
was nothing for it but to faint in the
arms of the gentleman whose ears she
had boxed, while the other lady moved
away to avoid scene. The stranger,
astonished to find an unknown lady in
his arms, was further startled by a
gentleman Selling him by the collar,
and demanding what he meant by EN-
bracing that lady.
"Why, she boxed my ears, and then
| tainted" exclaimed the aggrieved gen
! tleman.
'EShe is my wife," shouted the angry
husband, "and would never have
struck you without a cause" And
worse than angry words would prOba-
bly, have followed had not the cause of
the whole misunderstanding recovered
sufficiently to explain how it all hap
pened.
The intoxicated bricklayer who
squared up to post and maintained a
one sided fight affords an absured il
lustratiOn of mistaken identity /; but if
we can rely upon newspaper reports,
ouch ludicrous incidents are surpassed
by what is said to have happened in
the neighbOrhOOd of MOrecambe. Some
time ago the body of what was sup
posed by the discOverer to be human
being was found lying on the beach
near the place above named, having
undoubtedly been left there by the re-
ceding tide. The usual preparations
for holding an orthodox inquest were
put in force and kept going until the
examination of medical man proved
the inspected human corpse to be but
the carcass of a monkey, which had
probably been thrown overheard from
some ship, and which so closely resem-
bled in appearance a human being as
to require a doctor to tell the differ
ence. Such a mistake looks either like
a goose flattery upon dead monkey,
or an unconscious satire upon human
nature, calculated to delight all believ-
ers in the Darwinian theory.
An amusing blunder was once made
by a dyer, who was given by farmer
four flannel shirts to be dyed a fast
gray color; instead of which he dyed
them blue. On wearing the garments,
the color came out of them so that, as
the farmer curiOusly expressed it, che
looked like a red Indian; and as it
cost him seven shillings in baths to
turn himself into white man again,
he sued the dyer and obtained DANA
ges.
An embarrassinginciden I'VE are told,
once happened to an Englishman in
Rome. Entering one of the churches
in that city as a service was going on,
he sat quietly down, placing his hat on
the ground beside him. Some little
time passed, and as there seemed no
immediate prospect of the ceremony
coming to an end, he reached for his
hat in order to leave, but was stopped
by an unseen hand. which grasped him
from behind. Thinking some custodi-
an of the church wished him to remain
till the end of the service, he again
waited but his patience becoming eX-
hausted, he again reached for his hat,
and again he was prevented from go
, ing in the same manner. Convinced
that the service was some really I'M
pOrtant one, the Englishman once
more delayed his departure but at
f the expiration of a quarter of an houI
he determined to go in spite OF
etiquette, so he repeated the same
manGuvre in the direction of his head
covering. A third time the same hand
detained him but as he determinedly
resisted its grasp, voice behind him
exclaimed, in English, ~ beg youI
pardon, but that is my hat you are
taking" Such was the fact; he had
been detained all this while because
each time he had reached in mistake
for the hat of another stranger placed
in close proximity to his Own.- Har-
, per's Weekly.