The Magnolia gazette. [volume] (Magnolia, Miss.) 1872-current, 1881-07-22
HUMORs OF THE DAY.


DEAR with me for a while, is what
Bruin snid when he affectionately em-
braeed the tramp.
VIII the coming man wear stove
pipe hat9 is asked Not unless he
smokes, replies the Elmira Free Press.
HE HAp been telling her stories Of him
self, and had done a great amount Of
Dragging. When he had finished she
kissed him and murmured, "This is
kiss for blow"
A CoNNEoTtcUT man has invented
pipe that will light itself. This is an
underhanded attempt to force house
painters to find some new way TO kill
time. L Boston Post.
"Now / lay me down to Sleep" said
little Toddlepins. Then stopping amin
ute, "but amt going TO pray for mani
mas sole TO keep, cause IL hurts. He IS
regarded as tho Bob Ingersoll Of the fam
lily.
'A1sTHEmc DAMsEh." The most
charming decoration for plate is good
piece Of beefsteak with well cooked po-
tatoes and just a sufliciency of gravy.
lt'll lay over trailing vines or a sunhower
any day. ~ Boston Post
'THR ripest peach is on the highest
tree" snys James Whitcomb Riley
James shows his ignorance. The ripest
peach is in tho bottom layer of the bas-
ket every time and il is generally about
nine shades too ripe.
NEW YoRK s latest nh-da-dah; 'Do you
play the pinno?' mo- j don't play the
piano, but my sister Hannah, who is in
Savannah she plays the piano in the
most charming mannah. 'Hayeaban-
ana?'--Nelo lork Star
THE difficulty originated in this way.
Said Gallagher 70 Ragbag -'I heard
story Just now that was funny enough TO
make iaclinss laugh Let me tell it to
you. Don't you slur me in any such
remark as that, roared Ragbag, angrily.
"How many Of you are there?" asked
voice from mn upper window, Of sere-
nading party. "Fonr," was the reply.
"Divide that among you, said a voice,
as bucket of slop fell ''like the gentle
dew of heaven ON those beneath.
TIE Norristown Herdld Is accounta-
bic for the statement that New York
s'ninety-nine cent store was robbed Of
eleven gold bracelets, six watches, three
1 diamond pins, fourteen gold brooches
and fifty-four finger rings Tine loss is
estimated at 81 30. -Ou Ciy Derrick.
SAID Maguire to Finnegan- When
you see me acting like o fool, tell me SO. p"
And Finnegan said he would. And in
about half an hour he called out Ma
guire, you're making fool Of yourself. >
And then Maglire got mad and thumped
Finnegan. 1t always works that way. r.
Boston Post
CAN any one tell us why woman,
emerging from q crowded car, always
makes believe she is going to get ont at
one side of the platform, until two or
three men have jumped of in the mud,
and then steps of at the other side. She
always does IL, and we want to know the
reason WHY. Philadelphia Bulletin.
A coNuNDnuM -''What is the differ
ence between a man going to Plymouth
Church and lover about to proposeY
asks the Boston Courier Don't know. -
Boston I'ost Then You had better &c
back to school, One is going to se'
, Beecher and the other, to beseech her. -
/ PhiLddell)Itia Bulietin.
/ THERE is lots Of enterprise in thi
> world A Chicago saloon-keeper offer
r prizes TO persons who take the creates
humber Of drinks at his bar in giyei
: time. And il may not be long befor
| enterprising undertakers offer premium
II TO families in which there are the larges
\ number Of deaths during the green up
q pie and cucumber season. n.--NorrtstoW
i | Heyald