davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-06-22
WEDNESDAY, JUNE a., 1881.

WEwERE LED to infer, from the pronun-
ciamento ofthc Attomey-Gencral, published
in the Philadelphia Record of ofSaturday last,
that the Attorncy-Gcne had behaved in
a very heroic manner toward two gentle
men who called upon him at his office. We
have since learned that the Attorney-Gcn-
cral, in his pronunciamento, radically en-
larged upon the actual heroism displayed
by him in the aforesaid interview. In fact,
that the actual behavior Of the Attorney
General in that interview, instead Of being
heroic, as represented by him in his pronun-
ciamento, was merely display of rude and
vulgar impudencc, made further contempti
bic by the fact that the circumstances OF
the occasion precludcd proper resentment.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-06-22

be struck with the strategy of this advice.
If the farmers now go ahead to follow it,
they will be likely to get themselves into
serious trouble. The most effective way of
advancing German labor and reducing Ger
man taxes is to cut down her immense mill
tary and naval establishments, main
tained at such an enormous an
nual cost to the taxpayers; but
if the simple-mindcd farmers sent depu-
ties to agitate this particular policy, they
would, no doubt be officially denounced as
socialists, communists aud the like, and pos
sibly notice to quit their seats in Berlin
would be served by the Government. There
are now in this country some persons OF
great education and fine abilities who can
relate their experiences in this direction
and they are able to aRpraise the sincerity
of the Prince Chancellor at its proper value
Discrimination has always been conspicu'
ous element of European statcscraft, but We
seldom see it concealed behind such q gauzy
mask.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-06-22

WISCONSIN is now proposing monument
to the memory of Senator Carpenter, and
the Milwaukee Sentinel says on the subject:
The proper form appears to be suggested
in the memorial presented to the State Bar
Association, which Is now In session Mt
Madison by II number of our leading citi-
zens AS this document points out, Mr..
Carpenters fume Ms q lawyer preceded ana
was not eclipsedIsy his great reputation In
the Senate, and tits fitting that his brethren
of the Wisconsin bar should assume charge
of such movement. We take II that there
can be no d ,ubt but the association VIII
readily and heartily adopt the suggestion.
The proposition to make this II distinct
lively popular movement ana to limit con
tributions to Il small uniform sum, say q
dollar or so Is an admirable one. Our lute
Senator was peculiarly man of the people.
and nobody was ever so firmly intrenched
In their heatts.
1t is to be hoped that Wisconsin will moi
fail to honor fttingly the biggest braincd
and largest hearted man she ever sent into
public life. His shining abilities out of tho
question altogether, he deserves mcmoria
because he was open and sincere. What
ever his faults, he wore no mask, and made
no hollow prctcnsions to be any better thar
he was. From Washington point of view
this entities him to be hOnorcd.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-06-22

THIS is ENCOURAGING. Mr.. Ramsey,
the ex-Sccretary of War; has been given
job. Mr.. Dodge, of the San Francisco mint,
noedsa small amount Of investigating, and
With Mr.. Evarts in Paris on the Govern
ment rolls, and Mr.. Hayes still in public
Eife as q member of the Board of Trustees of
Kenyon College, the ex-bosses would seem
to be provided for. Has it occurred to any
heart to bleed for Devens?
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-06-22
MiscclInny.

WHEN n man is doubled up with pain,
would you call him twins?
A BosToN paper suggests that Gen. Grant
should join the M. Y. o. B. Society.
A FARMER counts his cattle by the head.
The men he employs are only hands.
BoTu New York and New Jersey have
passed stringent laws against the adultera-
tion of food.
SIGN fora public toilet room "Who enters
here leaves soap behind" That is to say,
don't steal the soap.
AND now the sound of the milestone is
heard in the land and the sweep of the
mower covers suburban acres with new hay
Ell PERKINS says Texas is the largest
State in the Union. Now, the State will
have TO be surveyed all over again to ascer-
tain if that is so.
Ex-Gov EDWIN ID. MORGAN has just
bought the old Chescboro' farm, at Fort
Washington, N. Y, the largest single piece
of real estate owned by one man on Man
haitian Island.
GOVERNOR CORNELL, of New York, has
vetoed the act providing for the retirement
of school teachers in New York and Brook
lyn after twenty-five years service on Il
pension. The Governor objected to the
bill for what he claims are reasons of policy.
A WOMAN in Philadelphia, practising the
undcrtakcr's trade, has received severe re-
buke for her cxtravagant management of
the funeral of young woman whose estate
amounted to about 800. The bills, amount
ing to S354.44, were cut down to 300 in the
Orphans Court, the judges explanation be-
ing that only reasonable sum, proporti0ned
to the value of the property left, and con-
sistent with the rights of heirs or legatecs,
would be allowed.
~ am mashed on you, said the potato to
the vegetable dish. " But you were stuck
were spoony on me- "Give us a rest, -
said tho knife; "don't you see the salad
dressing?" "You are sly, sir, with your
cutting remarks" observed the napkin
"see how red the lobster is. '" "What a
little wiper the napkin is, murmured the
asparagus. You are not very well bred,
although you are brought up on toast, "
said the tabecloth. "What a damask check
you have, sputtered the vinegar; 'it's sour
opinion you will be spotted pretty soon. y
"Are'nt you little off your beet? asked
the salt. Saline, old fellow" cried the
mustard" 4" ~ suppose you think you are
smart, " said the pepper, hotly. coil have
to slip in here " said the cruet, sweetly, 81
you fellows are going to season each
other in this style" Here the bread loafed
in with the crusty remark that he woult
"be buttered" if he ever got into such com
pany. "You can't get ahead of us" sale
the cabbage. "What is going to turnil
next?" said the caulifower; believe yoi
are all drunk. know the beef is corncd.
"Sit on him and we will have peas" shouted
the beans. 81 can't" said tho caulifower
~ have just had boil" "He is dished. b.
gravy " cried the butter boat. 81 am nc
customed to jars" said the olive, 'but as I
child of the dessert / advise you to chees
it," The champagne had just murmured t.
the glass, "Pll pop, my dear, as soon as SOM
of these course fellows are out of the way,
when the dinner bell said, 81 am going t.
ring in myself now, and everything will b
laid on the le."-Boston Commercial Bul
letin.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-06-22

EVERYBODY finds pleasing occupation in
abusing Vennor, and there has been plenty
of excuse for. it, but just now let us all, in
dividually, be as thankful as our very linz
tied private stock of gratitude will permit,
for the blessed relief Of cool weather on the
longest days of the year. The sun at this
special period is usually master of the situ-
alton, it is his solstice, and he knows it,
He takes his stand and holds it, and lets
poor mortals feel his power by making the
longest and the hottest sun of the season.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-06-22

FROM ITS beginning the Indian Office has
been the bestabused branch of our public
service But now and then things come
all some wise and promising work has been
done.--N. y. Evening Post
Again we observe the many advantages
of personal organ when retired Cabinet
minister comes to discuss the merits of his
deeds done in the official flesh.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-06-22

COMMISSIONER FRENCH IN NEW YORK.
Mr.. Theophilus French, Commissioner of
Railroads, was in this city yesterday and
made an early visit to the office of United
States District t-Attorney S. l.. Woodford in
connection with the legal proceedings now
pending against the Central Pacific Railroad
Company. He called also at the office of the
Central Pacific road, No. 8 Nassau street, and
had general conversation with G. p Hunt
ington, vice-president of the road, about the
recent trip taken to the Pacific coast by Mr.
French. He also went to the Office of the
Union Pacific Railroad Company, in the
Western Union Building The Pacific stocks
were strong on the market during the day
on reports that the visit of Commissioner
French was of friendly nature. He left
the city during the afternoon, but will re-
turn on Friday next and remain here one or
two days to carry on his investigations of
matters connected with several roads and
their connection with the Thurman Fund
ing lawn. Y. World 22d.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-06-22

THE twenty-ninth annual commencement
of the Emerson Institute took place at Lin
coin Hall last evening. The salutatory
was delivered by l.. V. Benet, and the vale
dictory by J. 7. Haines. Included in the
programme were recitations by G. A. Will
son, c. M. Tolman, S. H. Taylor, G. o. Lam
der J. II. Haines, H. Jefferson, Il. J. Addi-
son, G. b. Young, J. Wedderburn, b. Bulk
ley and G. A.. Provost. The graduates were
L. V. Benet, John II. Haines, G. M. Tolman,
A. M. Free, T. G. Addison, f. s. Bright, H
w. Hodge, G. o. Lander, w. M. Moore, E.
II. Gilman, John c. w. Brooks and John M.
Carson. The three latter have entered
West Point.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-06-22

WHAT A REMARKABLY well-devcloped
taste for combustion must have been culti-
waited by Professor Hill, who has just re-
signed chair of chemistry at the torpedo
station to take charge of the nitro-g -glycerine
works Mt Chester, Pa,
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-06-22

They have have turned up prudent un-
dertaker out in San Francisco who con-
tracted to bury the poor dead at sixty cents
head. He made the business pay by adj
vertising for relatives or friends, who, when
found, bid much higher than sixty cents fol
the privilege of keeping the defunct out OF
the Potter's Field.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-06-22

WHAT has become of our friend Car
michael of Loudon County, Virginia ?
Can't the Post-Office Department throw up
some more cartlworks and go on with the
attack?
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-06-22

The Post has undertaken to split New
York into two States, so as to increase her
Senate representation. Ifthis could be done,
the Post should cover the proposition with
q guarantee that 1t will not double the dis
Question of.Senators comes up.-EvENING
CRITIC.
The Pos, proposes that the two new States
shall be Democratic States, in which event
there will be no more corruption, no moro
bribery, no more Legislative deadlocks, no
more Albany flascos and-no more Sena-
torial resignations.-Post this morning.
You bet your sweet life you are correct as
to the resignation business. A Democrat
dies, he never resigns.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-06-22

THE pistol in Kentucky is now confining
itself to legitimate line of business. 1t
has just been used to put a quietus on the
mouth ofa man who spoke disrespectfully
of the ladies of the town Of Eminence.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-06-22

A STRONG imagination can picture the
subdued grin with which Mr.. Schurz sent
the following up to his printer;
The letter of Mr.. Thos. Young, of Ohio,
printed in anothercolumn, shows that Gen.
seGrant's offensive utterances arc bestowed
yr.discriminately upon friend and foe. In
Mr.. Young, If we may Judge from the tone
OF his letter, Gen. Grant has offended one of
his most devoted friends in Ohio. Tho Cen
eral seems 10 be engaged in very active
and exceedingly effective campaign against
the third term, and nobody can do that kind
of work so thoroughly as he does 1t him
self
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-06-22

GEN. GRANT has politely allowed himself
to be interviewed again. This is right. A
great many people in the country were be-
ginning to fear that the General was
neplectinp business
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-06-22

GEN. ROBERT G. SCHENCK left day or
two ago for Centre Bennington, VT, where
he will spend the summer. He is in better
health than he has been in for some time.
Mr.. w. w. CoRcoRAN, the banker and
philanthropist of this city, will leave next
month for the Greenbrier White Sulphur
Springs of West Virginia.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-06-22

SOME Republican paper, in glancing over
the Albany fight, begins an editorial under
the heading of "The Way to Elect" That's
easy enough. The way to elect is to elect.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-06-22

THE New York Tribune does not take
kindly to the idea Of making ex-senator
George Il. Spencer First Assistant Post
master-G General, and contends that he does
not represent the Southern Republicans, with
whom his friends seek 10 identify him. 1t
says:
At present we believe his home is in
Dakota or Colorado, or in some Other
mining section of the West. As q po-
litical leader he was conspicuously unsuc.
cessful and unpopular Ills course divided
the Republican party of Alabama into two
factions, which have not become fully re-
concilcd to this day. Taking the most favor
able view of his character, Mr.. Spencer Is u
political advonturcr. without II constitu
ency or n settled abiding place.
What does this mean? Has the Tribune
suddenly experienced change of heart
Has it lost its grip on the principle that
carpet t-baggcrs arc the true and only repre-
sentatives of the South?
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-06-22

WE ARE WELL accustomed to the thought
that our country is young; in fact, we are
very often engaged in Dragging about 1t as
being so uncommonly wcll-grown and smart
for its age. A proof Of the fact, however,
offered in an obituary notice, gives strik-
ing and curious confirmation to the familiar
statement. A certain man, and Jersey
man at that, who died only last week, has
stoutly upheld his claim to being the first
born citizen of the United States. Hubbard
S. Sticklc of Rockaway, who assumed this
honor, based his claims upon the fact that
he was born on September A, 1888, which,
as being the first day after the acknowl'
edgcment of the independence of the Amer.
lean colonies by Great Britain, furnished
the grounds for his conviction that he was
entitled to the prc-cminent position of being
the oldest born citizen of the United States
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-06-22

THE PIoUs Deacon Smith, editor of the
Cincinnati Gdscitc, has been lecturing on
remarks he said:
When The Gazette Company changed
from the credit to the cash-in advance
system there were ESQ, 900 due on the books
from weekly subscribers alone that had
been accommodating for n third of II century.
OF that amount not $4,000 cents were col
lected. We employed n man and furnished
him good horse and sent him OIL on II col.
lecting tour. In six months the horse
died, the saddle and bride were pawned
foi keep, and the man returned consider
ablc balance against the company. We
sold the books Tor old paper and called
those credits lost"
The above is the experience of all the
well established newspapers in the country
only there are very few who get off as cheal
as the good Deacon's organ.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-06-22

OPINIONS will possibly differ as to the
merits of the explanation given by Mr..
French, the railroad commissioner, of his
letter to the president Of the Central Pacific.
One thing, however, would seem to be settled
beyond any dispute. The terms of the law
constituting the Office are clear and distinct.
They require the commissioner to act in all
things "under the direction Of the Secre-
tary of the Interior In official language,
this always makes it obligatory for an of
fcer to act after consultation with his chief,
and the immense interests at stake in this
case indicate the wisdom of the statute.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-06-22

1T is NOT prudent to advise New Mexi-
can rough to subject himself to the slavish
customs of common decency and ordinary
morality, at least SO it proved the other day
ing man named Gallagher, at Santa Fe, un-
dertook to demonstrate with Juan Montera
for his unfilial behavior in habitually abus-
ing his mother. The irate rowdy instantly
responded by striking his admonishing
friend dead with hoe while the moral
sense of the community was vindicated i'm
ncdiately by lynching the disrcspcctful
Juan. The story could not be prepared for
Sunday-school book without "a little pre-
vious editing, but it serves as an incident
in the current history of that stirring local
ity
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-06-22

WITH THE LONG, exhausting days of
June when the sun pours down his rays
and scorches clean through the whole
twenty-four hours, thcn-just to cap the
climaX-come the school exhibitions. The
republic goes under, as at a coup d etat
aud King Herod reigns supreme. The poor,
pale, childish victims prinked up in their
best Clothes are wrcathed with flowers and
led up to an altar of sacrifice upon which
they squeak out in weak, plaintive voices
their pathetic ''last words" The cere-
monial unites ingeniously tho antique sac
rifical rites with the pleasing details of the
modern hanging" and if it is death to the
poor little youngsters, it is nearly as bad for
the devoted parents, and the sisters, and
the cousins and the aunts, who are COM
PEELED by the tyranny of custom to sit still
and see it done. The whole thing seems
bad, the pupils look so weary that they can
hardly support their flounces; the worn-out
teachers bend under the tributary bouquets
the music can hardly cover the groans of the
sufferers, and the only pleasure to be de-
rived from the show seems to be the very
limited one that can be drawn from the re-
lief when it is all over.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-06-22

NJ. JUST MUIRoN, whose death is an
nounced in France at the ripe age of ninety
four, deserves special record as being the
first Jealous disciple converted to the doc
trines of Charles Fourier. Through his ad-
vocacy and exertions was raised the money
which enabled that philosopher to publish
his scheme for the reconstruction Of society
and set before the world that vast and far
reaching system of thought, which, despite
the questionable character of some Incl
dental details, has done much to attract at
tention to the essential and vital interests
of the industrial classes and has furnished
the ablest weapons for that glorious warfare
which has since been waged for the enfran
chisement of the masses who were then de
spiscd, as only necessary to the convenience
and comfort of the ruling classes.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-06-22
PERSONAL.

L AIDES, DON'T FAIL TO CALL AT TIA
Il 7th st. n. W. for dry goods, notions, silks and
yelvets, at your own prices. jel5-tf
PICH AND POOR ENJOY THEIR PRES
h ENTS after buying over - worth at
YOuNG'S, 736 7th st. jel6tt
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-06-22
MAHONEY, THE PAPERHANGER,

3l6 PENNA. AVE, Capitol Hill,
Has on hand all the new designs in wall Papers,
Window shades, Picture Frames.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1881-06-22
FoR BENZ.

ENOR RENT-Cnll and see our list ofproperty
~ for Rent. JOHN SHERMAN & CO., st.
Cloud Building. feb7-tf
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1881-03-09
loss OF APPErrrE.

roc, St. FauI, Carroll Co, Va.
Dear Sr:-l have used your excellent indian
Hood syrup for Shortness Of Breath. Weakness
sad Loss OF Appetite, and have received erest
benefit therefrom. eA'e0 s1eAt
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1881-03-09

Having passed several sleepless
nights, disturbed by the agonIes and
cries of suffering child, and becom-
ing convinced that Mrs. Winslow's
Soothing Syrup was just the article
needed. procured supply for the
child. On reaching home and acquain-
ting his wife with what he had done,
she refused to have it administered to
the child, as she was strongly in favor
of Homeopathy, That night the child
passed in suffering, and the parents
without sleep. Returning home the
day following, the father found the
baby still worse; and while contem-
plating another sleepless night. the
mother stepped from the room to at
tend some domestic duties, and LETT
the father with the child. During her
absence he administered a portion of
the Soothing Syrup to the baby. and
said nothing. That night all hands
slept well, and the little fellow awoke
in the morning bright and happy.
The mother was delighted with the
sudden and wonderful change, and
although at first offended at the de-
ception practiced upon her. has contin-
ued to use the Syrup. and suffering
crying babies and restless nights have
disappeared. A single trial of the Sy-
rup never yet failed 10 relieve the
baby, and overcome the prejudices ;ef
the mother. Sold by all Druggists. Is
cents bottle.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1881-03-09
ATTEMPTE D HIGHWAY ROB
Berry,

About IL O'Clock this morning the cry
Of "thieves' and police" was raised on
Moline Avenue near Oath street, and
Officer MoCabe. hearing the call hurried
to the scene. As he reared the corner
where Kelley's saloon stands, just at the
alley, be met q we'll dressed negro who
was making good time for the bridge.
Officer McCabe grabbed his man. and took
him to jail. In the meantime it transpired
that the prisoner had attempted to rob an
old German named Ernest Broemel. of
Genssse; that he (the prisoner| had
caught Broemel by the throat, had him
backed against the alley fence. and but
for the timely arrival Of Officer McCabs,
would no doubt have robbed the man OF
his watch and money. This afternoon the
prisoner was brought before Justice
HAYES and held for trial at the next term
of the circuit court. on q charge of
attem pied highway robbery. He halls
from Chicago. and from his talk the
police are of the opinion be is an old
crook.
Mr. Broemel, the man whom the negro
tried to rob, came here from Geneseo ex-
pecting to 60 to work at Wagner's brew
cry. He has lived for years near De Sate
and Geneseo. and is practical brewer.
He was on bis way to Wagner's when the
negro stopped him and attempted the
robbery.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1881-03-09
NERVOUS DEBILITY.

VITAL WEAKNESS OR DEPRESSION a
weak exhausted feeling, 20 energy or cour-
age; the result of MENTAL oVER-woRK.
INDIsCRETIoNs OR EXCEssEs, or some
drain upon the system. is always cured by
HUMPHREYS HOMEOPATHIC SPECIFIC No.
%. 1t tones up and invigorates the sys-
teIu dlspes the gloon, snd and despondenGy
drain and rejuvenates the entire man.
Been used twenty years With perfect sue
cess by thousands. Sold By dealers.
Price, $I.0O per single vial, or $500 per
package of Eve vials and $500 vial of pow.
der Sent by mail on receipt of price.
Address HUMPHREYS HOMEOPATHIC Me
DIoINE COMPANY log Fulton Street. N. Y.