The National tribune., 1881-09-10
A WOODEN WEDDING.

log cabin, located in of the northwestern ter
ritories, looking steadily into the fire burning
brightly upon the hearth and thinking, doubtless,
of society and social events in the States" At
least Mrs. Smith was, for presently she said, half
by way of interrogation, we were married on
the oath, John, five years ago; why can't we have
a wooden wedding?"
The Smiths were comfortably well to do, and
as John knew of no reason to the contrary, it was
then and there decided to celebrate the event in
an appropriate manner. Cards were distributed
by whOlesale-every person Of average respecta-
biity got an invitation for the society ribbon is
not closely drawn out in the very far West, and
forthwith dealers in wOoden-ware began to look
up amazingly.
The same town which held the Smiths also fur
nished domicile to two old cronies, Jim Morgan
and Tom Gurney The former a general
merchant, and during his last trip east had laid
in a stock of some two hundred wooden bowls of
assorted sizes, by far the larger number of which
were as yet unsOld. People didn't seem TO want
EN-" he would often remark; and on occasion he
had even gone so far as to make kindling of one
or two by way of getting rid of them and helping
along a lazy fire
Il
young sprout of mining engineer entered the
store Of his chum, brimming over with fun and
excitement. Il say, Jim, ," he began, "what'I you
give if III sell those bowls for you?"
You'd make bully saesman-you would"
grOwled jim. None O. your jokes on me-"
Tom was in earnest, however, and at length
succeeded in impressing Jim with the fact.
The latter promised to keep a close mouth and
not peach, so the matter was settled.
That same evening Tom slowed the largest
bowl Ia perfect giant among bowls, something
like three or four feet across the top in the back
room secure from observation after which he
got out of the way"
Presently after dark, in came leading banker
Il ] understand YOU have some wooden bowls
I-ahem! want the very largest one you've got"
he said.
The wooden-ware was selected and paid fer
with dispatch the purchaser enjoining secresy
On the merchant. You see" he remarked lust
a little fun-woOden wedding,-and [ don't want
everybody to know beforehand what intend to
give"
Before ten o'clock there had been about twenty
sales of similar kind each conner had been fully
satisfied, each thought himself the only pur-
chaser.
1t sometimes happened that two or three per-
sons would enter at about the same time. When
such contingency arose, all but one were GER
tain, within a short time, to get up and saunter
out, casting side glanceS at the nests of bowls
stacked up in front Of the counter at about the
centre of the large StOre-roOm they made their
exit. The one person remaining was sure to
ash for aad oct Of thp ted utp
member of the church in good standing carrying
home bottle of whiskey, could not possibly have
been more cautious and secret about it than were
the purchasers Of the smOothl y-turned and hol-
'lowed-out Eastwood blocks. The demand was
perfectly marvellous. Up to the night of the pro-
posed "blow out" as it was termed in mining
parlance, al but about twenty Of the small bowls
had been disposed Of
The oath came at last. and soon after dark Tom
and Jim, rugged out in their best the former
wearing his bowl perched upon His head like
gigantic helmet, proceeded TO the Smith mansion
at which, as it was their intention to do they
were the first to arrive OF course they were
welcomed cordially. Tom placed his offering in
the centre Of the room, and the two sat down to
gossip with their host and hostess and await COM
ing events.
In the course of half an hour there was knock at
the door which, being opened, revealed the portly
form Of the leading banker, who bore his bowl
before him shield wise. He was accompanied by
his wife, and appeared slightly crest fallen at be-
holding 81 nilar though larger object in advance
of his own gift.
He made no remark, however, but simply
glanced meaningly at Tom while depOsiting his
bowl within the other.
The arrivals now became frequent. The wooden
structure grew rapidly. As guest after guest
came his or her burden was assigned TO the top
of the pile" which threatened to more than reach
the ceiling
The Smiths were becoming absolutely alarmed ::
and half the female guests were in mysteries.
What in the world could be done with such IN
array OF timber?
Tom suggested that the larger ones be used is
cradles or hunks for the children. of which there
were several, but met with no encouraging smile
in return. 1t was becoming too serious, a matter
80 be made the subject of a Joke.
But if the host and his good wife were dis
naYed n the avaianch of bowls the l,4ar-raninr