davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1881-09-05
THE DOG AT THE FUNERAL.

Jim became nearly blind and very
dull of hearing in the winter of 1867,
and although he always started out to
walk with my father, then in very fee
BILE health, he came home again in a
very few minutes, barking and scratch
ing at the garden door until some one
let him inside the walls, when he would
hurry to his particular corner in the
dining-room, where he would be out of
the way of being stumbled over or dis
turbed. My father was not obliged to
remain in his bed only four or five days
before he died; and on one of these days
Jim, who had never done such thing
before, went out at the front door, went
out at the front door, sat down in the
middle of the path and howled long and
dismalIy. l went out and patted and
spoke to him, but he did not appreciate
my caresses, and returned to his corner
without so much as wag of the tail.
AS | have said he was never known to
howl before, and he never did it again.
When my father died Jim curled him.
self up on the mat outside the door, and
there slept all day. although it was win
ter, and there were fires which he keen
ly appreciated, usually, in the sitting
rooms. He kept the most striking proof
of his power of reasoning-for so one is
tempted to believe it was to do honor
to my fathers memory. The funeral
walking one-was starting, when Jim
suddenly emerged from some part of the
garden, looking almost young again,
with his tail we'll up, and deliberately
headed the procession, going before it
through the little town of Dursley,
Worcestershire, up to the cemetery of
St. Marks chapel, which was three
quarters of mile from our house, "a
long way for dog who for many months
had thought that to be away from home
to the extent of only few yards was
too much for his strength. l am told
that while inside the church he sat qui-
city under seat, but not near any one
he knew-he had no affection for my
brothers who lived at home for years
and headed the line again as the funer-
al party went out, and took place by
the grave, gently wagging mis- tail as
the service was read. |, watching for
the return of the funeral party, saw
him enter the gate before them, and L
was told he had come home first all the
way, as he went. He trotted quietly to
his usual place, with his tail still we'll
up and look about him as though con-
scious of having done his duty. He
never went out walking with any of US
after this and seemed to care very little
for anything, although he lived without
pain and discomfort to himself, appar-
emily, until 1870. His conduct at his
masters funeral made quite an impress
sion on our cottage neighbors, one of
whom said to one of my brothers. who
returned home from South America three
months after my fathers death: "Aye
poor old Jim, sir, he followed your IA
ther to the grave with the rest of them. !"
-Chanaber's Journal.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1881-09-05

AN OLD SETTLERS SToRY.-The boys
had been telling a few fish, turtle and
snake stories, to which he listened very
attentively. When they had all finish
ed, old "mossy" gave hitch or two and
unlimbered. "Wall, boys, | never have
doubted any sort O. huntin story since
my leetle turkle scrape down on the bot
TOMS" The boys all looked inquiringly.
and he proceeded. 81 was pokin'
round down thar one day last year when
| come 'crost the durndest old-lookin'
turkle ever seen. Why, the moss was
an inch thick on his back. and the old
cuss couldn't hardly wiggle his tail. l
cut stick to measure the depth of the
moss on his back, and accidentally scrap
ed off hunk of 1t. when | seen some
letters. So | scraped it all off, and thar
in big letters was writ B. c. followed
by the figures '567.' Well, | stood up.
kinder faint-like. and tux my hand off
on him to sorter rub my old head, when
he fetched flop to get away, and slid
down the bank bit and turned clean
over. when I'll be dogoned if thar want
printed in the biggest kind of capitals
on his belly. just ahind his forelegs.
ADAM and down little furder, nigh
his right hind leg was printed in small
er type. Paradise ="
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1881-09-05
ROUGH AND SMOOTH.

Old Farmer Rough was grim and gruf,
And drove his men about
With "herei' or "therei" and oft would swear
When things went wrong no doubt,
Work must be done by set of sun,
And all in order, too.
Upon the farm or else he'd storm
Till everything looked blue.
A pleasant word was seldom heard
From him: at is enough
From day to day their hire to pay"
Said surly farmer Rough.
To keep my rule as well as tools
In order, 1 have found
Upon stone-with strap and hone
They must be often ground.
Twas thus he wrought, and thus he brought
Rich treasures from the SOIL
Believing still men worked with will
Whom praises did not spoil.
But sad and grave, though strong and brave,
With sinews firm and tough,
The laborers grew-and the women, too
Who worked for farmer Rough
When ill-luck came. with frost and fame,
And swept his goods away,
And loss of health and loss of wealth
Brought on an evil day,
Then farmer Rough so grim and gruff,
Gave many bitter groan
To think that he, alas should be
Left friendless and alone.
But Farmer Smooth, who in his youth
The benefits had learned
Oftools well oiled, from those who toiled
For him affection earned.
He spoke them oft and helped them oft
With counsels wise and true,
And ne'er begrudged to those who drudged
The praise that was their due.
And when the floods swept all his goods
Away and he was left
In sorry plight-all in one night
Of smiling lands bereft;
Friends floeked around. in grief profound,
And gave substantial aid.
And farmer Smooth SAID. ''In good sooth,
Who gives is well repaid ="
THE UNDER DOGS IN
THE FIGHT,
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1881-09-05
GEO. I'll. BLAKE, Publisher.

lying. sixty-six per minute; in women
of the same positions, nincty-one, eighty
four and seventy-nine. In sleep the
pulse Is considerably slower than in
wakefulness. In certain diseases, such
as acute dropsy, for instance, there may
be no more than twenty or thirty per
minute. Thus, one of the commonest
diagnostic signs is liable to deceive the
most experienced practitioner.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1881-09-05

The symptoms of itching piles are mois-
ture, like perspiration, intense itching,
most at night, seems as if pin worms were
crawling in or about the rectum. The
more you scratch the worse they itch !;
very distressing. The private parts are
often affected. DIR. SwAYNE's OINTMENT
is the most effective remedy extant for this
tormenting complaint. Gives rest at
night without that desire to scratch. Also
has no equal in quickly eradicating letter,
itch, salt rheum, erysipelas, BARRIERS itch,
pimples, all scaly, crusty, itching skin
eruptions. Here is the proof: Certainly
the best remedy ever used in my practice,
DR.. Cotton, Woodstock, VT. )" Troubled
with itching piles for over twenty years,
it cured me completely, L. S. Messer; En-
field, Me. Sent for so cts, in ct. stamps,
3 boxes, $1.25, by DR.. Swayne & Son,
Philadelphia, Pa. Sold by all druggists.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1881-09-05

THE OLD MAIDS OpINIoN.-She had
been called an old maid and rather re-
sented it. Said she: al am past forty.
| have good home. think you know
l have had abundant opportunities to
marry. / have been bridesmaid a score
of times. l ask myself with which one
of the beautiful girls that have seen
take the marriage vow would | exchange
to-day? Not one SSome are living apart
from their husbands: some are divorc-
ed some are aoiveS Of drunken men J;
some are hanging on the ragged edge of
society, endeavorlng to keep up appear
ances; some are striving to support and
educate their children, and these are the
least miserable; some are treading the
narrow line beyond the boundary of
which lies the mysterious land; while
some others have gone out in the darkness
and unknown horror, and some are dead.
A few there are who are loved and hon.
ored wives. mothers with happy homes /;
but, alas the number is very few."
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1881-09-05
THE UNDER DOGS IN
THE FIGHT.
BY DAVID BAKER.

know that the world. that the great big world,
From the peasant up to the king,
Has different tale from the tale tell,
And different song to sing.
But for me-and 1 care not single fig
If they say am wrong or right
shall always go for the weaker dog.
For the under dog in the fight.
know that the world. that the great big world.
Will never a moment stop
To see which dog may be in the fault,
But will shout for the dog on top.
But for me, never shall pause to ask
Which dog may be in the right
For my heart will beat while it beats at ALL
For the under dog in the fight.
Perchance what I've said had better not said,
Or 'twere better had said it incog,
But with heart and with glass filed chock to the
Here's health to the bottom dog. [brim
The foregoing stanzas originally appeared in the
New York Euening Post, about twenty years ago. and
created an immense furore. Its popularity was and
is, SO great that "the under dog in the fight"
phrase has passed into the proverba currency OF
language, and is quoted by thousands who neither
remember the verses their author. Now appears
an excellent and witty parody upon the celebrated
poem. which possesses all the vim of the original
and is here appended
You may say what you please of your bottom dog,
Or any dog that you please,
go for the dog, the wise old dog,
That knowingly takes his ease.
And wagging his tail outside the ring
Keeping alway his bone in sight
Cares not pin in his sound old head,
For either dog in the fight
1 know there's dogs-njudieious dogs
Who think it is quite the thing
To take the part of one of the dogs,
And go yelping into the ring!
But care not pin what all may say
In regard to the wrong or the right,
My money goes well my song,
For the dog who keeps out of the fight.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1881-09-05

1t is hard to grow a beard, because
each particular hair is stub born.
What kind of music does an excessive
tobacco masticator remind one Of? Why,
an over-chewer to be sure.
Michigan has man with three arms.
He is the only man living who can take
two girls sleighing and enjoy it.
Like the dog in the manger, the nose is
above kissing and is always ready to in
terfere with the kisses of others.
1t takes eight hundred full blown roses
to make teaspoonful of perfume, while
ten cents worth of cooked onions will
scent a whole neighborhood.
What is the difference between a civil
lied diner and person who subsists at
the North Pole? One has his bill OF fare,
and the other has his fill of bear.
When you read the seductive legend in
a tObaccOnist's window: ''Our five-cent
cigars can't be beat, remember if they
| can't be beat they may be cabbage.
''You are weak said woman to her
son, who was demonstrating against her
marrying again. eyes, mother, 1 am, -
he replied, 81 am so weak that I can't go
step-father."
After the choir in one of the churches
in Ithaca, N. Y, had performed rather
heavy selection, the minister opened the
Bible and began reading in Acts Xxx, ''and
after the uproar had ceased"
''You are one now," said the minister
to the happy pair that he had just tied
together with knot that they could never
undo. (which one?" asked the bride.
ssYou will have to settle that for your
Selves said the clergyman.
A Californian who tied one end of a
rope around his waist and lassoed a COW
with the other, reports that Sat first he
thought that he had the COW, but at the
end of the first half mile he became con-
vinced that the cow had him."
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1881-09-05

Caught in the act: Clara: 30, Char
ley. you naughty boy | saw you throw
your cigar away just as | came around
the corner" Charley: "Why didn't
ysu say you wanted it? How was | to
know ?''-Boston Transcript.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1881-09-05

A French chemist has obtained a
dense black gum from the outer layers
of the birch-tree bark by distillation.
1t possesses all the ordinary properties
of gutta-percha, and has the additional
merit of resisting the deteriorating infu-
ence of the air and the corrosive action
of acids. This advantage makes it use
full as an ingredient of india rubber and
gutta.percha, which it.renders far more
durable.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1881-09-05

Having large stock of horse nails on hand. I am
desirous OF closing them out. even at price below
cost. Call at GREEN MOUNTAIN STORE.
HIRAM BAXTER.
Barton, August Is, 1881 33tf
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1881-09-05

"a HUNDRED PER CENT. BETTER. "A
patient in Michigan, who reports a gain
of thirteen and three quarter pounds in
two weeks, says: 81 cough about once
where did ten times before, and do not
raise one quarter the mucus from my
lungs that did. My pulse has gone down
from 120 to So. My digestion is very
much improved, and the stomach retains
the food. In short, l am one hundred
per cent. better than / was three weeks
ago, and give all the praise and credit
to the use of Compound Oxygen. The
expressions of my friends are, Wonder
ful 2 Astonishing p 'Alniost miraculous 2"
Our treaties on Compound Oxygen, con-
taing large reports of cases and full infor-
nation, sent free. Drs. Starkey & Palen,
1IO9 and iii Girard St., Philadelphia Pa.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1881-09-05
$500 REWARD!
OVER A MILLION OF
PROF. GUILMETTE'S
FRENCH
KIDNEY I. ! PADS

Have already been sold in this country and in
France; every one of which has given perfect
satisfaction. and has performed cures
every time when used according
to directions.
We say to the afflicted and doubling ones that
will pay the above reward for single case of
LAME BACK
That the Pad fails to cure. This Great Remedy will
POSITIVELY and PERMANENTLY cure LumbagO,
Lame Back, Sciaticu, Gravel, Diabetes,
DrOpsy, Bright's Disease of the Kidneys, In
confluence and X retention of the Urine, Infia-
nation of the Kidneys, Catarrh of the Blad-
der, High COlOred Urine, Pain in the Back. ].
Side or LOins, Nervous Weakness, and in fact
all disorders of the Bladder and Urinary Organs
whether contracted by private disease otherwise
LAlIIES, if you suffering from Female Weak
ness. Leucorrhea, any disease of the Kidneys.
Bladder, or Urinary Organs
YOU CAN BE CURED!
Without swallowing nauseous medicines by simply
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1881-09-05

For BURNs.-All kinds of burns,
scalds and sunburns are almost immedi-
ately relieved by the application of a
solution of soda to the burnt place. 1t
must be remembered that dry soda will
not do unless it is surrounded with
cloth moist enough to dissolve it. This
method of sprinkling it on and covering
it with wet cloth is often the very best.
But it is sufficient to wash the wound
repeatedly with strong solution. 1t
would be we'll to keep bottle of it al
ways on hand, made so strong that more
or less settles on the bottom. This is
what is called a saturated solution. and
really such solution as this is formed
when the dry soda is sprinkled on and
covered with a moistened cloth. 1t is
thought by some that the pain of burn
is caused by the hardening of the albu-
men and the application of the soda re-
lieves the pressure. Others think that
the burn generates an acrid acid, which
the soda neutralizes.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1881-09-05
Is a Positive Cure


for nll those Painful Complaints and Weaknesses
q SO common to our best female population.
1t will entirely the worst form of Female Com
plaints all ovarian troubles Inflammation and Uieern-
ton, Falling and Displacemens ard the consequent
Spinal Weakness, and is particularly adapted to the
Change of Life.
1t will dissolve and expel tumors from the uterus in
an early stage of development. The tendency to
humors thereis checked very speedily by its
1t fantncss 1atulency, destroys all craving
for stmulants and relieves weakness of the stomach
1t cures Bloating, headaches, Nervous Prostroticn
General Debility, Seeplessness Depression and Ind
gestlon.
That feeling of bearing down, causing pain, weight
and backache, is always permanently cured by its
1t will at ell times and under all circumstances ect in
harmony with the laws that govern tho female system
For the Of Kidney Complaints Of either this
Compound is unsurpassed
LYDIA E. PINKIIAM'S VEGETABLE COM
POUNDS prepared at 1913 and 235 Western Avenue
Lynn, Mass. Price g. Six bottles for S. Sent by NAL
in the form Of pills, also in the form Of lozenges
receipt of price, 81 per box for either Mrs. Pinkhem
freely answers all letters of inquiry. Send for paph
let Address as above Mention this PGper.
No family should bo without LYDIA E. PINKHAM's
LIVER PILLS. They cure constipation blougnese
and torpidity of the liver. o5 cents per box
Ar Sold by nll Druggists. -EA
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1881-09-05
TESTIMONIALS FROM THE PEOPLE


JUDGE BUCHANAN, Lawyer. Toledo. o., says:
lone of Prof Guilmette's French Kidney Pads cured
me of Lumbago in three weeks time. My case had
been given up by the best Doctors ncurable Dur
ing all this time suffered untold agony and paid out
large sums of money"
GEORGE VETTER, J. p. Toledo, O., says:
81 suffered for three years with Sciatca and Kidney
Disease, and often had to go about crutches, was
entirely and permanently cured after wearing Prof.
Gulmettes French Kidney Pad four weeks"
SQUIRE N. G. SCOTT, Sylvanla O., writes:
81 have been a great sufferer for Is years with
Brights Disease of the Kidneys Fer week at time
was unable to get out of bed took barrels of medicine
but they gave me only temporary relief. l wore two
OF Prof Guilmette's Kidney Pads six weeks and now
know am entirely cured"
| MRS. HELEN JEROME, Toledo o. saws
"For years have been confined a great part of nv
time to my bed with Lucorrhe hea and female weakness
wore one OF Guimette's Kidney Pads and was cured
in one MONTH"
II. B. GREEN, Wholesale Grocer Findlay. o.. writes
81 suffered for 25 years with lame back and in three
weeks was permanently cured by wearing one of Prof
Guimette's Kidney Pads"
B. f. KEESLING, M. D., Druggist Logansport Ind
when sending in an order for Kidney Pads. writes:
II wore one of the first we had and I received
more benefit from it than anything I ever used In
fact the Pads give better general satisfaction than any
Kidney remedy We ever Sold"
PROF. GUILMETTE'S FRENCH LIVER PAD.
| Will positively cure Fever and Ague Dumb Ague,
| Agne Cake Bilious Fever, Jaundice, Dyspepsia, and
all diseases of the Liver. Stomach and Blood Price
Sl50 by mail. Send for Prof. Guimettes Treaties on
the Kidneys and Liver. free by mail Address
FRENCH PAD CO., Toledo, Ohio.
Eff. Dutton, Sole Agt., Barton, Vt.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1881-09-05

The careless dumping of soapsuds and
foul water upon one spot near the farm
house year after year. and leaving it
there to evaporate in the sun or wind.
is good to spread typhoid fever. Pour
such stuff upon some absorbent like dry
muck or sawdust. and pillow under this
saturated fertilizer during the early days
of spring. ''Slops" breed more pesti-
lence about farm houses than many peo-
pie are aware of. And the pestilenee
"walks at MONDAY" because the heat
is then the greatest And to think that
such stuff sometimes drains into wells!
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1881-09-05
HORSE NAILS.

GO WEEK. $l2 day al home easily made. Costly
~outfit free. Address True Co., Augusta. Maine.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1881-09-05

WHICH CURES BY ABSORPTION.
Ask your druggist for PROF. GUILMETTE'S
FRENCH KIDNEY PAD, and take no other. If he
has not got it, send $3.50 and you will receive the Pad
by return mail
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1881-09-05
PROF. GUILMETTE'S
FRENCH KIDNEY PAD.

Without swallowing nauseous medicines, by simply
wearing
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1881-09-05

j. Y. GREEN, Newport
The Baltimore County union., 1881-12-17
APPOINTMENT OF SCHOOL COM
NrssIoNERs.

Two communications received from correspond
ents In different districts Of the county. which We
publish this week, relating to the appointment Of
School COmmissionsrs, has suggested the propriety
Of calling the attention Of the Judges to this sub
jees, not with any reference to the fitness or un-
fitness Of the gentlemen eomprising the present
Board Of School Commissioners, bat with special
reference TO the political complexion Of the Board
sas nov eonstitatsd.
One Of the argumenss used In favor ef the pres
snt mode of appointing School commissionsrs, In
prefsrsncs 10 siscting them BY the people, 10 that
Il keeps the school system removed from the par
tisanship Of politics and It's management from
being operated ~ political machine. Now, In
order to effect this design Of the school Law, and
10 prove TO the public that Il 10 the sole object In
view. both political parties should have rspre.ea.
tation in the School Board. This is the only
as party machine, aud its adoption will most
easctaally accomplish Il.
When the school Law was passed, and |, has not
been changed In this respect. Il did not ecn,em.
plate that the Judges Of the Circuit Courts should
appoint none but Democrats as School commis.
sioners. The very nature and judicial surround.
ings Of the appointing power preciades the idea
OF such one sided selection. As proof Of the
eorrectness Of our position will give the prae.
tiee prevailing in a few Of our neighboring coun.
ties. The adjoining county Of Hartford. which,
with our own county, constitute the Third Ju-
dieial Circuit, has but three School commis s.ion-
ers because the number OF schools in the county
does not exceed one hundred, but Of them Judge
Waters selects one from the Republican party.
In the counties Of Cecil aud Carroll which, to.
ge,hsr With Hartford and cur own county, con-
prise the "a Congressional district. the same i'm.
partial practice Of appointing Republican. in the
School Board presails. Judge stump. Of Cecil
appoints two Democrats aud one Republican in
the Board. aud in Carroll county. Judge Hayden
appoints three Democrats and two Republicans.
Thus we see that Of the four eoun;ic. eomprising
Congressional district baltimore comfy /. the
only one in whose School Board Republicans have
no representation.
We trus, our judges will not ailou Il to cop,in-
us 80 any longer. bat after having the subject
called TO their attention they will act a. impair.
tally as they DO in their decisions and rulings
aud put our county on an eqaaiity with our neigh
bOrs in the political complexion of the School
Board.
mans politics shosid not be considered whsn
his name 10 selected for the jury boz; neither
should IL be. under the present mode of appoint
meni, when he Is selected TO serve as = School
COmmissiOnsr, for the judges make the selection
in both eases. Both political parties should have
representation in the School Board q the county.