Keowee courier. [volume] (Pickens Court House, S.C.) 1849-current, 1881-11-10
Mr.. Smith 10 now pcnsiouor of the U. s.
Government for his services in the war of
18l2-1A.- Iorhutlle Enquirer.
spoopendyke's Picture-Hang-
ing.

"Wcll, my dear" said Mr.. Spoopcndykc,
with nail in his mouth, and balauoing
himself waveriugly on dining room chair,
"all you've got to do now is to get your
ricture rendy, and III show you how to
hang the thing"
It's awful sweet Of you, pet" said Mrs.
Spoupendyko. alternately rubbing the frame
of very hectic chrome aud sucking the
thumb she had been hamucring for tho
Inst twenty minutes. "It's awful sweet
ard thoughtful of you, my dear, to offer
your assistance at such time, Tor do be-
l,evc never would have got nail driven
in that stupid wall
"Of course you wouldn't, my dcarl'
laughed MIR. Spoopcnkyko. "Who ever
saw woman that could drive u nail? You
couldn't drive galvanized curpct-tacE in
q ''even pound bladder of putty. And
speaking oi driving nails, I'd like to know
if you're ever going to hand up TINT hams
mcr, Or meat FOUNDER. or whatever you've
been using Think can drive nails with
my elbow?"
"It's the stove handle, love-" said Mrs.
Spoopendyke, mecky, handing him a
mysterious looking implement. with a
wooden handle at one end and tho under
jaw of shoemakcr's plyers at the other.
ooh, it's stove hook, is it?' said Mr.
Spoopendyke, regarding the weapon with u
s'uister expression. "Now, if you'd
handed 10 upa dog iron, or n pair of
Ncclyards, 10 have been rieh, at homc;
but Nt"v" hook! Really, NY dear Id
rathcr uniertakc TO drive nuil with u
scythr hnndlc."
"But the walls so soft and lovely, dear,
It really drives them hcnutituly-if ttcy
would only stick" said snin Mrs. Spoop"n.
dyke, reas>uringiy.
"OnIy stick!' said Mr.. Spoopendyke
contemptuouslU "now I'll bet you never
vet the mucilngc on single nail before you
started. That's why they didn't stick for
you-ouch! sulfcrin' Mosesl Arc you
going to atand scrcnely BY and sec me beat
my knuckles into a ahapelcss pulp with
this dodgastcd, mcasly mar|iualkc2"
"Poor dcsrl" said Mro Spoopendylo.
consolingl9. "You do uct so impatcn,--
and ut the first trial, too. Maybe it struck
something hard in the plaster. Try nn-
other place-thuts the way managed
that"
ooh, ycs,' said Mr.. Spoopcudyko,
"thnts the way you managed It! and you
hnve punched enough holes 10 here to play
cribbagc in. Will you gimme another
nail? Don't you see I've knocked this one
fat and cant unpry it up ngain?"
Cant uulry it up asun!" CALCULATED
Mrs. Spoope"oykc, in very gentle voice,
handing hisn another nail Cant unpry
it up ogau!' Well, if that amt gram
mari"
"Oh, amt it?' said Mr. Spoopcndyke
with u most horrlfic smile. ''Of course it
nin't, you old fcmn!c seminary with a cracked
bell in your cupalo! Am going to school
to you or am driving nails?"
"Well, dear" sighed Mrs. Spocpcndykc
you're surely not driving nails"
mo, you can just bet Im not drivin'
nails, and you can just bet amt a.goiog
to drive no more nails neither! Ard you
can bet," continued Mr.. Spoopendyke. with
still densiyipg intensely, ond war dance
flourish as he leaped to the floor, ''snd you
can just bet your high muck-a.muck, if
you'll set that measly old chrome of yours
on the side table III throw this dodgastcd
thing SO fur through it that it wont get
back in century, Brooklyn Eagle.