The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1881-04-14
"THE CHUM CABINET"

AS pictured by "An Insider" who tells
the New York Herald what happens after
the presidents official advisers have with
drawn from the White House, is a clever
if not an illuminating bit of burlesque.
The ubiquitous Rockwell and Swain,
instant and oficious about the White
House in season and out of season, are
drawn pretty near to the life. Garfield
says appealingly:-
''Come now, boys, we have been chums
together for years. Chicamauga knows
us all and we know each other. You un-
derstand how much l have to do for pol
icy and equally well how much more /
rely on my chums than on my regular
advisers. Now, what would you do if
you were in my place?" The chums were
sobered instantly. They felt the supre-
macy Of the moment. Swain is the
bluffest OF them all. He puffed vigor-
ously for minute, and then slapping his
chief on the back, he said in voice be-
dewed with tears: ''We stand by you,
but you slip away as soon as we take
rest. No man in the world has legs long
enough to straddle Blaine aud Conkling,
and there is no use in trying. You're
sure to lean heavier on one than the 9TH
er or split yourself. See?" "Yon're a
daisy, Swain, said Garfield, as he warm
ly shook his square rugged friend by the
hand. "And you, Rock; how do you
feel?' Rockwell drew himself up in a
bunch on the lounge, and, having blown
the smoke from his throat, said: 'I say
let the whole thing have rest. Stick to
what you've done. If James goes, SO
much the worse for James. Foster is
! wild to come in, and Foster is one of us.
If Mac Veagh goes, Cameron may come
to the front after all, and, SO long as you
don't make mess by giving the place to
Wharton Barker, you'll be the gainer.-
Let these fellows do their own fighting" "
''But Blaine!' protested the president.
"Oh, Blaine be hanged. Let him fight
too. Surely we don't want to lose sleep
on account of Blaine-do wel" "Ass for
NE" said Sheldon, 81 want it distinctly
understood that I'm for Garfield and the
, chums first, last and all the time. We've
got the cards. Why not make the game2
All you want is little more backbone,
more exercise and less cabinet. BE your
own boss. Let these unsuccessful fell
lows do the walking. We want to ride. %
As the clock indicated quarter past
twelve Mr.. Brown, the private secretary,
entered and handed the president an en-
velope marked: Important. Blaine. :"
"All right" said Garfield. "Will you
! read the note?" asked Brown. ''By and
| by" replied the president. "1he mess
enger says it is urgent" continued Brown.
"Well, look at it, Brown; but don't
bother me now. You see Tn engaged.
The ideal" reioined Garfield. Mr..
Brown opened and read the note, aud
then, in whisper, said, "Mr. Blaine
thinks you have smoked enough to night
and wishes you to go to bed" "Why,
it's only a little after II. Tn not sleepy"
protested the president. He appears
to mean it, urged the secretary. What
is itf' asked Swain and Sheldon togeth-
er. "Oh, nothing" answered the presi-
dent; "only he thinks I'd better go to
bed" "What! ConkGng?" ''Oh, no.
He wouldn't even ask such q thing
"Surely not Grant2"' 'sDear me, no; not
at ALL. 'Who then; for heavens sakes"
"Blaine!" Goodness gracious, you don't
say so. Here Brown, send for my car
riaGe. Of course you must go to bed -
Good night" and off rushed Swaim.-
'Blaine! Well, I should say so. You
just tumble in as soon as you can. Good
night" and away went ''Rock." "And
you Sheldon. What do you say, my
dear old boy?" begged the president
"What do 1 say say its an internal
outrage" replied the burly general, ''but
you've yourself to thank for it. You
made him your master and that ends it.
Go to bed like president. Good night. u