The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1881-09-15
Bioyole Exercise.
Mr.. Sp0opeDlyke Purchases Machine
and Makes a Mile Minute.

q
Mr.. SpoopeDdyke Purchases a Machine
80 and Makes Mile a Minute.
..Now, my DEAR" said Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke, hurrying up to his wife's room,
s'if You'll come down in the yard I've
got a pleasant surprise for you"
'.What is it?" asked Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke, "what have you got, a horse?'
"Guess again." grinncd Mr.. Spoo-
pendyke. ats something like a
horse"
II know! It's new parlor carpet.
That's what it isr'
'.No, it isn't, either. said it's
something like horse; that is, it goes
when you make it. Guess again"
.'Is it paint for the kitchen walls?''
asked Mrs. Spoopendyke, innOcently
''No it amt, and it amt a hogshead
of stove backing, nor it amt set Of
dining-room furniture, nor it amt sew
en- gross of stationary washtubs. Now
guess again"
''Then it must be some lace curtains
for the sitting-room windows. Isn't
that Just splendid?' and Mrs. Spoo-
pendyke patted her husband on both
checks and danced up and down with
delight. ai7 styf
.It's bicycle, that's what it isr'
growled Mr.. Spoopendyke. Il bought
it for exercise and I'm going to ride it.
Come down and see me-
.'Well, amt 1 glad" calculated
Mrs. Spoopcndyke. You ought to
have more exercise, and if there's ex-
ercisc in anything it's in bicycle. DO
let's see itr'
Mr. Spoopendykc conducted his wife
to the yard and descanted at length on
the merits of the machine. fna .'.l'
'.In few weeks rll be able to make
mile minute" he said, as he stead
led the apparatus against the clothes
post and prepared 10 mount. ''Now,
you watch me go to the end of this
path.' ..s.lI nsIi-. H.fl -.
He got foot into one treadle and
went head first into a flower patch,
the machine on top with prodigious
crash. fe- 80 1n3i' 50 '''
Hadn't you better tie ii up to the
post until you get onP'' suggested Mrs.
Spoopendyke. -........ -.,s,5... IL
Leave me alone, will YEP" demand
ed Mr.. Spoopendyke, struggling to an
even keel. .'Pm doing most O. this
myself. Now you hold on and keep
your mouth shut. 1t takes a little prac-
tice, that's ALL"
Mr.. Spoopendyke mounted again
and scuttled along four or five feet and
Topped over on the grass plat.
That's splendidr' commended his
wife. you've got the idea already.
Let me hold it for you this time.'
':If you've got any extra strength
you hold your tongue. will yerP''
growled Mr.. Spoopendyke. 1'It don't
want any holding. It amt alive.
Stand back and give me room, now"
The third trial Mr.. Spoopendy Ike
ambled to the end of the path and
went down all in a heap among the
flower pots.
''That's just too lovely for anythingp'
proclaimed Mrs. Spoopendyke. "You
made more'n a mile a minute that
time -
..Come and take it off p roared Mr..
Spoopendyke. Help me up! Blast the
bicycler' and the worthy gentleman
struggled and plunged around like a
whale in shallow water.
Mrs. Spoopendyke assisted in right
ing him and brushed him off.
II know where you made your mis-
take" said she. trrhe little wheel
ought to go first like a buggy. Try it
that way going back"
sMaybe you can ride this bicycle
better than canm howled Mr.. Spoo-
pendyke. "You know all about wheels!
What you need now is a lantern in
your mouth and ten minutes behind
time to be tho City Hall clock! Don't
you see the big wheel has got 10 go
first p''
Eyes, DEAR" murmured Mrs. Spoo-
pendyke, "but | thought if you prac-
ticed with the little wheel at first, you
wouldn't have SO far to fall"
''Who felT?' demanded Mr.. Spoo-
pendyke. Didn't you see me step of?
/ tripped; that's all. Now you just
watch me go back. :"
Once more MIR. Spoopendyke started
I'm, but the big wheel turned around
and looked him in the face, and then
began to stagger.
..Look outrF squealed Mrs Spoopen-
dyke.
Mr.. Spoopendyke wrenched away
and kicked and struggled. but it was of
no avail. Down he came, and the BIZ
cycle was hopeless wreck.
'.Whatd ye want to yell forP'' he
shrieked. ''Couldn't we keep your
mouth shutp What dye think y'are,
anyhow,a fog horn? bod CAST the meas
~ Dlcyclc! anu MI. SpOOpenuykc nlt
it kick that folded him up like bolt
of muslin.
''Never mind, my dear" counseled
Mrs. Spoopendyke, 'Tm afraid the ex-
ercise was too violent, anyway, and Pm
rather glad you broke it."
81 s'pose so." snorted Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke. .''There's $50 gone"
Don't worry. love. I'll go without
the carpets and curtains. and the paint
will do well in the kitchen. Let me
rub you with arnica.'
But Mr.. Spoopendyke was too deeply
grieved by his wife's conduct to accept
any Office at her hands, preferring to
punish her by letting his wounds smart
rather than to get well. and thereby
relieve her of any anxiety she brought
on herself by acting SO outrageously
under the circumstances.