St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1881-11-04
SquibS.

81 dote upon that girl" said Smith.
."That makes the Goth girl you have
dotted on within a month";" remarked
Henderson. at is about time you had
sown all your wild dotes, Smith,
Transcript.
A lady asks young village maiden,
who is about to marry Il widOwer, "Did
he make his first wife happy ?" "Make
his first wife happy 7 l should think
he did Why she has over and above
the finest tombstone in the grave
yard"
A widow at the West, intending to
succeed her husband in the manage
ment of a hotel, advertises that "the
hotel will be kept by the widow of
the former landlord, Mr.. Brown, who
died last summer on Il new and i'm
proved plan"
C0urbet said to one of his friends
who was talking of getting married
'Why don't you marry Miss Y, over
there ? She's a perfect angel" 'She
may be an angel, but she's painted"
"Well, did you ever see an angel that
wasn't painted P'- From the French.
"Sixteen years married, and still
happy ?n incredulOusly muttered the
henpecked husband. "Sixteen years
married." repeated the goOd-natured
man, "and happier now than ever"
Nv wife ran off with another man six
months after our wedding"
1t is the organist's fault that the
church -goers are always played ont.
Don't lay everything to the preacher.
A clergyman in Ireland preached a
few Sundays ago from the text, "lf ye
do not repent We shall likewise perish"
! The wife of farmer who was present
went home and told her husband that
the text was, ''lf you don't pay rent
you shall leave the parish"
The man who "stemmed the current"
is stOning raisins for Thanksgiving.
BY the foreign news we see "the
Arabs are rising" Why shouldn't
! get up and take in the camel, milk,
Let 'em rise.
The man who tried to explain away
his chicken stealing experience by say
ing that he was a member of the
Humane Society, and felt it his duty to
thin out the overcrOwded hencOops for
the sake of giving them better ventila-
ton, had his board paid for ninety days
by an appreciative community.
All the below are from ''the ever
green shore :" An Irishman wrote thus
to the wife of sick brother: E'If
Jamie isn't dead yet, remoind him of
the twinty shillings he owes me on the
pigs, and if he is, tell him not to give
himself any consurrun about it,
! IYonkers Gazette.-NObOdy will be-
lieve it, yet it is an undOubted fact that
on the panel under the letter-receiver
of the general pOst-Ofiice in Dublin,
ireland, these words are printed: "Post
here letters too late for next mail. p
Mike-"It's the Irish that does all the
invinting in these days, sure" Jona-
than-"Irish be darned the Irish
don't invent anything to speak of; it's
the Americans that invent everything"
Mike-|Thin perhaps yez can tell me
why the Irishman's name, Pat, is al
ways next to the date, on all the new
invintions. Divil of an American
name can We find on wan, at all, at all ~
Louisville COurier-JOurnal. - No
man can tell anOther's feelings. A stall
wart Irish laborer was one day beg
ging from a gentleman, who requested
a medical man present to examine the
said labOrer. The labOrer had enforced
his plea with, eyer hammer, / can't
work" 81 can find nothing the mat
ter with you to prevent your working,
my man." said the doctor. "Ah, that's
thrue for you,n replied Pat; "but then,
your hammer can't tell how lazy feel"