davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1881-10-20
$500
He Should Have Procured the License
Kansas City journal


Mar L. Noffsker is the name of a
young woman living on the east side,
who created a sensation last night by
trying - commit suicide in her we'd
ding dress. She has been living at a
boarding house ON Sixth and Cherry
streets, where she made the acquaint-
ance of young man, William Harri-
OFT to whom she was to have been
married last night at the house of Mrs.
Harrison, on Charlotte, between indie
pendence avenue and Sixth street.
The guests were all assembled, the
| justice of the peace engaged for the
occasion was on hand, and the young
people stood up to be married, when
the justice asked for the license. This
was som ething Harriott hadn't taken
into account. He was bewildered and
the bride was in tears Harri9tt went
out with friend to try to get u license,
but it was then too late, and the we'd
ding had to be postponed. Miss Noff-
skier was very much agitated over this
turn of affairs, and after the first burst
of tears became respondent, evidently
feeling that she had been disgraced in
some way. Suddenly she disappeared
/
anywhere in the neighborhood. Her
| friends became alarmed and continued
| the search TO the river 1t was very
fortunate they did, for, after wander
ing around a while, she had deter
mined on suicide, and was running
along the bank of the river toward the
bridge with her bridal veil streaming in
the wind, when she was met by one OF
the young men invited to the wedding.
Her friends succeeded in quieting her.
and size seemed afterward to repent Of
her determination to die. 1t is proba-
BILE that the wedding will 60 on just as
soon as William can get license.
- -
The New York Worlds London cable
gram says: "Much uneasiness is Gre
ated here by the increasing scarcity of
gold. Experienced authorities believe
that the United States will continue to
withdraw from Europe Increasing guam
titles, and that the amount which may
be necessary to enable you to carry on
your trade cannot yet be estimated.
Those with whom have conversed on
the subject are of the opinion that abb
sorption must be much greater than
even the mercantile classes in the Uni
ted States seem to think. 1t is known
that the stock of gold in the Bank of
France is now small Germany has not
enough for her own use, and the rate
Of discount there has been raised to 5.
Where gold is to come from practical
men are unable 70 foresee.n
Rev. Stuart Robinson, d. d., died at
Louisville, KY, recently, after a pro
tracted illness from cancer Of the stom-
ach. He was native of Tyrone, Ire
land, and was in his 9th year at the
time of bis death DIR. Robinson was
for many years one of the ablest d.
vines in Kentucky, and one of its most
prominent citizens.
The last straw hat of the season,
which stuck as long as it could, has
disanDeared.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1881-10-20

''The numerous friends o. the Jap
anese minister, Dir. Yoshida," saye the
Washington Star, will regret to learn
that he has been confined to his house
by illness for several weeks. He spent
the summer with his family at the sea-
shore, al of whom were greatly bene-
ited but himself. He is nov improv-
ing. and it is believed win soon be well
again. The popularity which this
diplomat has acquired during his resi-
dence Of about seven years in Wash
ington is something quite unusual, and
his friends viii now rejoice on the en-
tire restoration of his health
Ex-Presidcnt Hayes is spending a
week or two on business in New York.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1881-10-20

The last straw hat of the season,
which stuck as long as it could, has
disappeared.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1881-11-02
some Old American Lbw6.

There is a long list Of these quaint laws, 9
few OF which will suffice to exhibit the con-
djtion of the society in which they existed.
No Quaker or dissenter from the establish
ed worship of the Dominion shall be allowed
to give d vote for the election of magistrate
or any other officer.
No one shall run on the Sabbath day, or
walk in his garden or elsewhere, except rev
trentLy to and from meeting.
No u shall travel, cook vituals, make
beds, sweep houses. cut hair, or shave or the
Sabbath day.
No woman shall kiss her children on that
day OF on fasting day.
No minister shall keep a school.
To pick an ear of corr from q neighbours
garden shall be deemed theft.
The selectmen on finding children ignorant
may take them away from their parents, and
put them in better hands at the expense of
The parents.
A man that strikes his wife shall be fined
ten pounds.
Married persons shall live together or be
imprisoned.
A drunkard shall have q master appointed
by the selectmen, who are to debar him from
the liberty of buying and selling.
Whoever shall publish q lie to the preju-
dice of his %neighbor shall be set in the stocAB
or be whipped ten stripes.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1881-11-02

will appeal on the ground that the murder
must necessarily include the death of the vic
tim, which did not take place within the
jurisdiction of that Court. If It is removed
and tried in New jersey, resulting in con
viction and sentence, it will be appealed on
the ground that the crime, which consisted
Of mal1ciously shooting the President, was
not committed il New Jersey, but in the dis
trict of Columbia. It is one of the techni-
~calities of the Criminal code that in all cases
the law must be strictly construed, ACCORDING
to its letter, in favor of the criminal and
though the heavens may fall in consequence
thereof, there can be no construction Of law
against the chances Of the criminal to ex-
plain its spirit and intent. Guiteau has muir
dered the President. There is no doubt Of
that. He admits it. Everybody knows it.
There is not a man in the country ignorant
of the fact. He did it within sight of the
Capital and the White House, in open DAY,
in the presence Of a hundred witnesses
and yet, even if his ! insanity dodge fails, and
if it shall be established to the satisfaction Of
the Court and Jury that the death resulted
from the wound inevitably and was in 40
way promoted by the malpractice Of tie
physicians and surgeons, the chances of hi
escape from punishment for his great crime
are regarded as highly probable, on the re-
diculous ground that there is not q Court Of
Law il the country that has legal and consti-
~tutional jurisdiction to try, convict and sen
tence him not even the Supreme Court Of
the United States, for its Jurisdiction is not
criminal but emily appellate.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1881-11-02
GzukGeaU's Defence.

As foreshadowed by the proceedings il
and out of Court, the line Of defence adopt
ed by the assassin Guiteau's counsel will be !:
a. That he was insane at the time he
shot the President, and therefor not RESPONSE
BILE for the killing. 1t is expected this idea
will be proven by the testimony Of certain
experimenting physicians Of asylums for
,he insane, and by other experts IL lunacy.
Al attempt will also be made to prove hered-
itary insanity.
e. That the death of the President did
not result from the wound, but from the
malpractice of DR.. Bliss, the chief surgeon
and medical practitioner in the case. This
is also expected to be proven. by four or
more medical and surgical experts, in
Guiding DR.. Hammond Of New York.
60 a plea as to the Jurisdiction Of the
District Of Columbia Court ; and this will
probably be argued and settled first. The
argument will be that, as the Presidents
death occurred at Elberon, In the State OF
New Jersey, the killing could not have been
IN the District of Columbia, and that it must
be tried in the judicial district Of the State 10
which the President died. But if the ques-
ton Of jurisdiction is settled insfavor Of the
New Jersey Court, and the trial removed
}}here, tnen will issue
~ A plea that the crime was in the act
OF shooting the President ; and this act Was
cone in the District Of Columbia, and article
VI. OF Amendments to the Constitution will
oe presented TO bar the New Jersey Court.
me Article reads in part as follows
In all criminal prosecutions the accused
snail enjoy their right to q speedy and public
1nrl nal BY an impartial jury Of the State and
DSt1'ct wherein the crime shall have been
committed.
me plea to the Jurisdiction, from the
aooVe, appears to be the one NEST likely 10
'als case 70 defeat Justice. II is the one
pe'as On which appeal to the Supreme Court
y 'ne United States, and a long postponment
= maj Judgment, are sure to follow. If
NC case is tried at Washington the defense
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1881-11-02
=szo,,,anec amd - "Reminiscences OF tho
War.

We have no doubt hat the Erlanger syn
a;cate will be of enormous value to the South.
:. will build splendid railways and operate
nam for g common good. Along their lines
.,anv industries will be developed and popu-
1otion flow. There is a bit Of romance at
,ached to this system which is worthy OF re-
All When Hon. John Slidell, Of Louisiana
vas appointed, along with Hon. James NJ.
uooon. a Commissioner for the Confederate
cto,es in Europe, he embarked with his fam
III m the British steamer Trent. As is well
hnown. the Trent was captured on the high
.oas by United States c%ruiaer, commanded
~ Cantain Wilkes, and the Southern ENJOYS
oomnelled to return to this country as prison
- .of war. How near this incident came TO
..uo1v;ng the General Government in war
18th Great Britain is now a matter Of history.
r, ;e also q truth of history that q daughter
~ John slidell resented an impertinence
rom one of Wilkes officers by a rousing
clan npon the fellows face, She was q high
toned. beautiful, and accomplished girl, and
SostfnP1 lOl SICdt lhaAEcs W ooA1iS eAoA1SS
freaks of fortune. When Mr.. Mason. and
bar father were returned to English custody,
fer Al ample apology, Miss Slidell accom-
oaried theul abroad, She rapidly became 8
io11p in Paris, and was the recipient Of many
notable offers of marriage. The successful
e1jtor was Baron Erlanger, one Of the richest
bankers in the world. 1t is said that, after
the war, ''she succeeded in enlisting his
svmpatbies for the upbuilding of the stricken
and PROSTATE South, and be organized com-
many for the purpose Of investing capital in
developing the resources Of the Southern
States. The syndicate has invested largely
in railroads, and they are making money
largely and repidly. 1t is thus, by singing
he songs of her Zion in a strange land, that
8 nozzle southern woman has contributed so
largely to the wealth, the prosperity, and up
S1|ding Of her beloved native land"
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1881-11-02
The PrInfaa Donna,

| - AuAlcS ~ y16lo GSo W6c @ CGbAA-#
pede over on Bush creek, beyond Last
Chance, where there was some placer dig
gings, and three or four Of us loaded up q
grub-sack and went over there. Albert Wal
tiers was che of the outfit, and he look along
@ big hoarse jackass that was called Prima
Donna. We packed our grub on Prima
Donna, and our blankets and cooking uten-
sis on a smaller jack that We called Balaam.
Some times BALKAN would wonder off to,
windWard, and the Prima Donna would drift
off to leeward, and when we got ready to
camp the grub would be in southern Wyom-
ing, and the bedding would be in northern
Colorado. This interfered q good deal with
the harmony Of the trip. for we were all the
| time tormented with doubts about whether
we'd follow BALKAN and the pilloW-shams OK
take the direction Of Prima Donna and the
| grub. One day We left the camp and pros
pected until dark, and when we got back the
Prima Donna had sampled the supplies. No
| body knows, unless he passed through it,
| what q meurnful wreck q healthy jackass
can make of q grub-stake if be turns bis at
tention that way. Albert felt grieVed and
hurt. When a man hasaWorked hard all
day aud comes home to ind his bill Of fare
gone, he loses his self-control. So Albert
tied the Prima Donna to q little cottonwood,
and wore out an old pick-handle on her.
Well, one day Albert went up on the side of
the canyon to bring down some traps, and
among the rest q big bear-skin, so be took
the Prima Donna along. The ssbear-skin was
dry and herd, and as fiat as q postal card.
Albert lain it on the Prima Donna, with the
legs sticking out four different ways from
Sunday, and the bears nose sticking forward
between the Prima Donna's ears. Going
| down the hill the bear-skin showed forward
| so that most Of its weight was On the ssPrima
Donna's bump OF ideality. I never saw q
iackass that seemed 90 excited and apparent
" SO cursed with q vague unrest as she was.
She wanted some one that she could 60 to
with her great sorrow. She yearned for
comfort and sympathy. So she came down
where I was with q bunch OF horses. The
horses had met the Prima Donna before.
| Most all of them had pieces kicked out by
her, and the places hadn't got well yet. They
| didn't seem 50 tickled to see her as she
| thought they would be. They saw her COM
| ing through the timber with a bears head
looking out between her ears, and they went
away. There didn't seem to be any delay or
| hesitation about it. They. seemed to think
| the crisis had arrived, and they just simply
| lit out. The Prima Donna had something
| on her mind that she wanted to communicate,
SO she went along with them, some Of that
band Of horses are going yet. It was only
| about sixty miles into town and we thought
| a little vigorous walk after our %sedentary
life would do us good. So We walked In.
| When we would get fatigued, we would sit
| down by the road and recall som pleasant
[ "reminiscences OF the Prima Donna and it
| seemed 10 do us good.
@
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1881-11-02

mas peen- appointed nsvelYri - 49, 1850 4, !, .1 =
vs.. Nee Bros. y. IA. RAsIN.
Fort Rentnn. Oct so tt.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1881-03-12
Our Young Folks.
SNOW-STORM.

DowS from the misty sky they came,
Fast and faster the livelong day,
Til the cobble-stones in the noisy streets
Were snugiy hidden at last away;
And over the pavement broad and wide
beautiful snowy sheet was spread, -
And each tail tree in the park near by
Was suddenly wearing uninterrupted head.
Baby climbed up in her little chair,
And looked at the storm with eager eyes;
Then, suddenly clapping her tiny hands,
know why de feaverS Gomez" she cries.
"Dere's pity white hens in de sky, mamma
Dess all DER feavers is Blowing away!"
Then two blue eyes from the window turned
And questioned, why laugh at baby May?''
D wee little mite of humanity,
For the D1st time viewing fall of snow,
How many storms will cross your path
AS over the road of life you go2
For clouds must gather DER every heart.
And winter must follow the summer fair,
And there must be gloomy and leaden skies
To ill with snowfiakes the earth and air.
But light as feathers, dear little one,
May be the storms your heart may feel,
And after the shadows, the sunshine bright
shall every sorrow ard trouble heal;
For under the snow the blossoms lie,
Gathering strength for the next glad year,
And before we know it their fragrance sweet
VIII give us the tidings, "Summer is herer
M. d. Brine.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1881-03-12
Wanted to be an Editor.

"HAvE you had any experience in the
businessp" we asked of verdant-look-
ing youth, who applied for an editorial
position, the other day.
Haven't l, though" he replied, as
he showed one foot under his chair to
hide the unskillful patching of back
wood cobbler. 81 should say I'd had
some experience; have not / CORE
sponded with the Pumpkinville Screanaer
for six weeksP Hain't that experience
enough?"
"That will do very we'll" we replied,
shut when we take young men on our
editorial staff we generally put them
through an examination. How much is
twelve times onep' va,
"Twelve. Why, any little boy ought
to an -"
"Hold on, please; don't be too fast.
How many bones are there in a human
bodyP"
"Well, forgot now, but I gust to
know wuntz."
"What! don't you know that? Why,
there are 7,4S2, 654,4 bones in an or
binary man. A man that snores has
one more bone than other people,"
What bone is thatp"
"The trombone. 1t is situated some
where in the nose. You will not forget
that, will your"
He said he wouldn't.
"Have you good constitutions How
long do you suppose you could live on
raw cotton and faith, and do the work
of domesticated elephant"
& Ill T
more'n week" i .. ..
"Well, that's about as long as you'd
want to live if you got an editorial posi-
ton on this paper You appear to be
pretty we'll posted; we shallas you one
more question, and if you prove equal
to il you can take off your coat and sail
i'm
"Let Inc have Ter, squire; didn't
correspond with the Pumpkinville
Scredaner six weeks for nothin'. Let her
come; I'm on deck, / am"
"Well, sir, if two diametrical circles,
with octagonal peripheres should collide
with centrifugal idiosyncrasy, or, to
put it palmer, we say dissenfranchised
nonenity-what effect would the catas-
trophe exert on a crystallized Goldfish
suspended by the tail from the homoge-
neous rafters of the empyreanP"
As the full force of this ponderouss
problem broke upon his bewildered
brain he slowly dragged his artistically
cobbled shoe from under his chair and
started from the room. We then plac-
idly resumed our duties, regretting that
so promising youth should have been
''weighed in Che balance and found
wanting. '-Graphic.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1881-03-12
A Little Advice.

HERE are four good rules which l
want you all to study WE'LL
One is, always to look at the person
you speak to. Whenyou are addressed,
look straight at the person who speaks
to you. Do not forget this.
Another is, speak your words plainly.
Do not mutter nor humble. If your
words are worth saying, they are worth
pronouncing distinctly and clearly.
Another is, do not say disagreeable
things. If you have nothing pleasant to
say, keep silent.
A fourth Island oh! children, remem-
Der it all your lives--think three times
before you speak once. ........
Have you something to do that you
find hard and would prefer not to do itP
Then listen. Do the hard things first,
and get it over with. If you have done
wrong. 90 and confess it. If your les
son is tough, master it. If the garden
is to be weeded, weed it first and play
afterward. Do the thing you don't
like to do first; and then with clear
conscience do the rest. The Little Soccer.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1881-03-12
Hans and the Pepper.Pot.

LITTLE HANS was very naughty boy
one day.
What do you think he didp
Well. he did almost everything that
was miscellaneous; at least, everything
he could think OF.
l suppose he got out of bed the wrong
way, or opened his left eye first instead
of his right, or forgot to say "Popo-
catapetP' before he began his break
fast, or some such dreadful thing; and
if he did, of course that was enough to
make him naughty, wasn't itP
First, he wouldn't eat his breakfast
There was not enough sugar on his por-
ridge. Mamma put on some more, and
then there was too much. CThis shows
that something was very wrong with
him, for who ever heard of child hav-
ing too much sugarP) And he wouldn't
eat it. g Wah! soah! boor no, he
wouldn't.
So he didn't. And nobody was a bit
the worse for it but himself.
After breakfast he felt hungry and
went back into the kitchen, but mamma
had put everything away except the
pepper-pot.
When Hans saw the pepper-pot, he
forgot that he was hungry. Now he
would have some fun.
So he called the cat, who was asleep
by the stove, and began to pat and
stroke her.
Pussy purred and felt very happy.
when suddenly-putl! Hans shook the
pepper-pot over her nose.
Poor pussy! her eyes and nose were
full of pepper. She mewed piteously,
and ran round and round, sneezing and
splitting. That was fun for Hans.
Still holding the pepper-pot, he look
ed about for some new sport, and saw
on shelf beautiful blue platter, large
and round. which he had not often seen.
as it was usuallykept locked up in the
cupboard.
How finely that would spin ON the
smooth kitchen floor.
Up he climbed, down he climbed, and
soon the platter was spinning beauti-
fully.
"Whir-r-r-r, whir-r, whir-r-crash"
this was what the platter said. And it
never said anything else, for it was
brokep in fifty pieces. End
Hans was very still for a moment.
Then he said to himself, " If mamma
finds me crying hard, perhaps she may
not punish me-"
So he opened his mouth very wide,
and put both fists in his eyes, and be-
gan " Boo-hOot boo-hoo! oh! oh! o-o-oh"
But the next moment came change
in his tone, and his screams were those
of real terror and pain. .
Poor Hans! He had forgotten the
pepper-pot, which was still tightly
clasped in one hand; and now his eyes
and nose were as full of pepper as poor
pussy's had been, and like her he ran
round and round the room, shrieking
and screaming.
What sight met his mothers eyes
when she opened the door. Hans with
his mouth wide open, and his face
streaming with tears and pepper, and
her beautiful dish on the floor, broken
in fifty pieces!--- Youth's Companion.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1881-03-12

sects, their usual prey, they are some
times called the Swallows of Ternate.
AS the country where they breed is
visited with tempestuous seasons, these
birds are seldom seen at such times;
and it is supposed that they then mi
CRATE to countries where their food is to
be found in great abundance; for, like
swallows, they have their appointed
times. IN. Y. Observer.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1881-03-12
MORNING..

CLAP your wings O doves, - il
Clap your snow-white wings;
FOR the morning comes with rejoicing,
And the great earth sings. il III
The light streams over the wood
And over the town,
The spruce and h MOCK wood
SO sullenly brown.
ItbrolSe from a smoky cloud, ..r
A curtain of gray,
1t broke with Il kind of cheer
IN red rose ray.
The river ran molten gold,
And the sails caught fire,
And the flames leaped up and aloft
To the tall church spire.
The doves they circled and rose
As feathers are tbsseG, tfT.-.
And one was burningi in light
WheIe the dark lines crossed.
And the factory windows blazed
In yon wall grim and long, H'.
Like house some poet has raised, it
Some palace of song.
Thick studded with pearl and gold
The old town lay'piled;
Opal in every PORE. ..r..- |.t ..... .as
Its ugliness smiled.
The bell chimed sweet that morn
In tho beitry high,
AS If all sorrow must pass
In q long drawn sigh
And the hidden pang was soothed
WITH the pa IN of light,
And now the invalid slept ....
Who had tossed all night
as-ess- ---aas.-a.-.-Hs ,--4H..s-ssz-
An t,,r OIL tho Tyip,, Whppl
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1881-03-12

A VERY proper Boston girl, VIII
reads the Bible to the family Sunday
nights, read of william Dad, the
Shuhite," referring to him as "Blldad''
being considered too dreadfully familiar.