The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1881-05-11
VARIETIES.


1t is better to be doing the most
insignificant thing in the world than
to reckon half an hour insignificant.
"Why should we celebrate Wash
ington's birthday more than mine :"
because he never told a lie p shout
ed little boy.
An editor who thinks he knows all
about farming, says, in speaking
about strawberries ; "The best way
to raise them is with a spoon" That
editor is no "slouch."
There are three things in the world
/ that knows no restraint, and are
governed by no law, but merely by
passion and brutality-civil wars,
family quarrels, and religious dis
putes.
When some one can invent a five
barrel revolver which can be sold for
% cents every city can do away with
at least two school houses at the end
of the first year. 1t is simply neces-
sary to buy little more burying
ground.
Very innocent man, old man Mild
boy is A friend found him at his
desk the other day, absorbed in per.
picking study. II am writing my
WILL" the old man said, "and / want
tc fix it somehow so that the lawyers
can get some ofthe property"
A member of the North Carolina
legislature, dining at Raleigh hotel
saw pod of red pepper on a dish
near at hand. He thought it was
new kind of fruit and took bite.
The tears streamed down his cheeks
as he put the pod down, saying:
"Darn you. lay there and cool"
Some old bachelor says: MANS
lot is not happy one. No sooner
is he free from his mothers apron
strings and slipper, than he becomes
The slave of some tyrant in pink and
white, and marries. His wife then
bosses him until baby comes along
and then the baby bosses the whole
family"
A bevy Of children we're telling
what they got at school,. The eldest
goc reading, spelling and definitions.
MA, "And Nv, What did YOU get, little onel?
was driving ten-penny nail into the
door pannei. Me? | gifts readln,
spellin' and spankin'."
"Say, mister" said a man, as he
entered the office, rs the editor Ill =
EYES," replied that overworked III
dividual, looking over his glasses.
wv ell, 1 thought you was the chap.
| wanted to tell you about boy OF
mine; you ought to have him; he's
lust the fellow you ought to have on
your paper; he's the darndest fool |
ever see"
"What good deed have you done
to-day, johnny ?'' said benevolent
father to his heir. 81 gave poor
boy cent, papa" was the good
child's answer. "Ah, that was right,
and why, my son, did you give him
the cent?" Il gave it to him, dear
papa, Tor a good three cent stamp
that he thought was only piece OF
green paper"
Gilhooly hired a pony the other
day to take little exercise on. He
got all the exercise he wanted, and
as he llmped to the edge OF the side
walk to resG himself after taking 50
much exercise, kind friend asked
him: "What did you come down
so quick for? "What did I come
down so quick for? Did you see
anything up in the air for me te
hold on to 2"
She was a Young lady fresh from
boarding school, and she went into thu
laundry TO learn how to iron shirts
She did not succeed very well, an(
she said, "Oh, Katy, | shall never b,
able to get any polish on this bosom.
"Sure, MISS" was the answer, "yo'
i want to put little elbow grease OF
it," "Please get some tor me RICH
away, Kate, was the innocent re
:, Spouse.
= Child of four, taken ill, is presente'
| by considerable aunt with several I'M
e oranges, one of which she begins t
\ devour with every manifestation
delight. "And what do you say t
kind auntie, who bought you tn
beautiful oranges ?" inquiries grand
S ma, anxious to call out the laten
!, politeness III the child's characte
s 'She may bring more when these ar
- :, .o,,o,,ds Tim child her fac