The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1881-02-12
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

10OGAAA 4Gu0'
The DIFFICULTIES OF AN EDIToR.-The London
Sporting Times pithily states the difficulties
under which editors labor I" 1t an editor omits
anything he is lazy. If he speaks of things as
they are, people get angry. If he CLOSES over or
smooths down the rough points he is bribed. If
he calls things by their proper names he is unfit
for the position of an editor. If he does not
furnish readers with jokes he is an idiot. If he
does he is a rattle head, lacking stability. If he
condemns the wrong he is a good fellow but lacks
discretion. If he let's wrongs and injuries go I'M
mentioned he is a coward. If he exposes a pub
lie man he does it to crafty spite, is the tool of a
clique, or belongs to the outs If he INDUCES
in personalities he is a BLACKBOARD. Ii he does
not his paper is dull and insipid.'
The first American city to light its streets
wholly by electricity is Ogden, Utah.
The annual sale of pews and sittings in
Plymouth Church, Brooklyn, took place Tuesday
Jan. 4th, with n result that must have been salts
factory to Mr.. Beecher and the trustees, mas
much as the premiums paid were larger than last
year, Mr.. H.. b. CIafin securing the first choice
at 500 premium. in addition to $l20, the regular
rent of the pew, a higher price than was ever
paid before. The seats were sold by an aucsIoneer
to the highest bidder, and the premiums amount
ed to $29 $50 over and above the rentals. which
aggregate Sl2,826 The premiums realized last
year were S27 500.
Chicaco's prosperity is very remarkable. The
f~N JNNA '"o DNNh hhA q b1 db CtlOl III
increase in its business. The bank clearings were
greater than Tor the previous year By 1886, o00,-
600, the total sum being 81 ,694 900 900. The
increase in grain shipments was very great
twenty-three millions of bushels more of cereals
were handled than in '7S.
At an inn in Suffolk County, the landlord has
a sign posted up outside his door . Good beer
for sale here, but don't take my word for it. "
4 bachelors toast - Woman-the morning
star of infancy, the day star of manhood, the eve
ming star of age bless our stars, and may they
always be kept at Il telescope distance
The most learned women in the world is said
to be Princess Dora d Istria. She reads and
speaks fifteen languages, has written novels, his
torical and philosophical works, is an honorary
member of a dozen learned socities, and is, not
withstanding, quite good looking.
Said Jack to Bill, " How many legs would a
calf have, calling the tail one?" Five
answered Bill. "No, it wouldn't for calling
the tail one wouldn't make it so.
Breathes there a man with soul so dead,
Who never to himself hath said,
III pay before I go to bed.
That bill I owe the printer.
Yes, there are some we know full we'll,
Who never such a tale could tell
But these we fear will go to - well,
The place where there's no printer.
Not long since, a little girl was called upon, in
one of our Hartford Sunday schools, to say her
verse. She rose and promptly said, with a slight
lisp There it'll no rethpectable persons with
God!' The quotation is not exactly sorrect but
it was intensely ''orthodox. - Hartford Courdnt.
Little six-year-old was taking his first lesson
in addition, and when the teacher asked him.
. If | were to give you two cats and another nice
lady gave you two more, how many cats would
you have - he quickly replied. .'Why, pretty
soon | wouldn't have any, for my mamma would
break their necks with the broom. She don t like
cats. "-Norristown Herald.
Mark Twain says there is something very fas-
cinating about science-it gives you such whole
sale returns Of conjecture for such trihing invest
ments OF fact.
Japanese paper air cushions are said to have
some advantage over those made of rubber.
They may be rolled into a package of smaller
dimensions, whe2 not in use they will not
stick together like rubber does after it is wet,
and for pillows, they are better because they
have no door. Their strength is marvellous a
man weighing l60 pounds may stand upon one
without bursting it. They are said to be water
proof, and to make excellent life preservers.
Something like 81, 0O0, 900 is spent annually
upon foreign mission work. The sum is i'm
mense, and yet it is not nearly sufficient to secure
the occupancy Of the entire field. The amount
necessary for that purpose would be about $780,
600, 900 per year.
CoNsrABLEs IN IRELAND.-The Irish constabu-
larry is, in some respects, the most remarkable
police force in the world. Candidates for admis-
sion to it's ranks must be over five feet nine
inches high, between the ages of eighteen and
tWenty-three, and sound In wind and limb. New
recruits are drilled, in all respects like new re-
cruits in the army, for six months. They are
required, also, to go to school, and receive special
instructions in the power and duties of the police
force. The statutes are explained to the new men,
and they are taught the proper mode of action
in detecting, preventing, or arresting particular
classes of offenses.~ No member Of the constabu-
Iarv force can be stationed in his native county,
bus they arc given a place in counties next adjoin-
ing their own. At night they are armed with
repeating rifles and swords. The whole force can
be concentrated in twelve battalions in twenty
four hours.
All Lee was a clerk in a Chinese store in San
Francisco, to which a young white woman from
Oakland. a suburb of the city, frequently went to
buv Eastern curiosities. The Chinaman fell ia
love with her, and sent many gifts to her house,
all of which were appropriated by the Chinese
servant who pretended to deliver them. The
messenger. whose name was Sing. not only stole
the most encouraging kind. Thus led on, the
lover finally sent the following letter - My
name belong All Lee. My belong that hanson
young man lookseeyou every time you come
makee buy curio thing. My too muchee lub you.
My likee see you. Suppose you talkee Sing Foo.
What time can do. My come Oakland your
house talkee your father, makee you my Wifee.
Sing say You lub me my Tub you Sing kept
the letter in his pocket and told All Lee that
Mary desired him to cali that night. The upshot
was that, while providing around the house All
Lee was mistaken for q burglar and grisvously
wounded.