The Hickman courier. [volume] (Hickman, Ky.) 1859-current, 1881-07-29
HUMORS OF THE DAY..


KEELY's motor is now known to us as
the tramp" because it won't work.
IT Is true that the crow is thief, and
steals the farmers corn; but it is not
without caws. - Boston Transcript.
What causes him to carrion so?
A KIND writer says ''You can trust a
man who loves a horse or a dog. A
livery stable man says he has tried it,
and finds there is no money IN it.
THERE are two possible things greatly
dreaded by New Workers just now. One
is bear famine, and-we have forgotten
the other. -NoyristolOn Herald.
When man attains the age of ninety
he may be termed XC ingly old.-Er-
change. When a man attains the age of
forty he may be said to XII.
"WHAT 1 SEDIMENT" as the river
murmured during high water.-Keokuk
Gate city. Did that settle it ?-EdrE
Marble. There are grounds for beliey-
ing that it did.
A YOUNG man in Illinois was so badly
stung by a colony of bees that he
couldn't get married at the time agreed
upon. He had taste of his honeymoon
In advance.
A Troy lawyer asked a woman on the
replied "Old enough to have sold
milk for you to drink when a baby, and
! haven't got my pay yet"
A COPENHAGEN dispatch says Emf
grafton from Sweden this year is ex-
pected to amount to 10000 persons.
This Is good. We shall get some new
notaonszin tsc Swesie 10y an 10y.
zEssssz syazz; IN .sszszi<.l.' a,isr no
remarked that he supposed she was fond
OF ethnology. She said she was, but she
was not very well, and the doctor had
told her not to eat anything for desert
but oranges.
Rev. DIR. DUMBEII Ga newly fiedged
diyine)-" Hello, what's this, Essie; q
picture of me? Do you think it's a
good likeness ?" Essie (after n pause)-
NO, guess I'll put tail on it and call
it a dog. ."-HdrUdrd LGnpoon.
PROBABLY the boy never lived who,
having q drum, did not burst it to see
what made the music. But Vermont
has the champion boy. He broke his
drum because he wanted to see the drum
core that his father spoke of.
| A FRANK wELCoME.-Said Mrs. Smith,
who had come to spend the day, to lit
me again. Edith ;" "Yes, MN, and
mammals glad tot" Mrs. Smith" Is
sheP" Edith" Yes, MN; she said
she hoped you'd come to-day and have
it over with" Mamma bushes scarlet,
but Mrs. Smith simply smiles.
A Norwich couple who had pet cat
which had grown helpless from age and
extremely fifty, put it out of its misery
by the agency of chloroform. They
buried it in the garden and planted a
rosebush over its remains. The next
morning it appeared at the door to be
let in and had the rosebush under Its
arm.-Daylbltyy Net0S.
A GOAT stood on the dusty road, whence all but he
He saw old Embree coming down the road, and
All postured for butt, he posed, and patiently did
The coming of the chap he thought he would ami
Old Embree had stick in hand of tonnage rather
He'd chrstened it hi. slaughterer" and handled
And when the butter came, he let him have it Ger
And gracious how that Embree-oh, did make the
-Yonker's GazefEe.
Two men afflicted with suffering
happened to meet upon highway,
when, on saluting, each discovered that
the other suffered pretty badly, and the
following conversation occurred MIR.
Brown" How l-l-long h-h-have Y y-you
s-s-stuttered?" Mr. Smith, B-b-bout
fi-fi-five ye-vears." Mr.. Browm-"W
why dzdzdont ysysyon. gs9 ;isa2 .s. s-s.sSe xT
Inv - iis asa.sisg 5oI - I,.- ~
-"A-a-any g-g-go- good? W-w-well, II
p-R-g guess h-he ills h-he c-c-cued
m.me l''-Ndtiondl Republican.