Morning journal and courier., 1881-04-13
INVENTIONS AND DISCOVERIES.
THREE FISH

 Three fishers went stroIling away to the stream To the babbling brook where the fishes swim. Of speckled beauties they all did dream,
 And each felt certain they'd bite for him. For men will tramp from morning till night, And suffer the fierce mosquitos bite,
 And drink to stop their grooming. Three fishers strolled into the market place.
 'Twas some two hours after the sun went down.
 And look of gloom was on each mans face
 For at empty baskets they each did frown,
 For men may fish, but msy get no bite,
 And tired and ugly go home at night.
 And vent their wrath in grooming.
 Where the crowd sat round and the gas va
 And each gaily whistled a merry tune.
 And shove his fish with assumed delight, For men will fish, yea, men will lie,
 And boast of catching the fish they buy,
 While inwardly they're grooming.
 ''The poor ye have with you always" bu the rich go away in summer time.
 It is a wise man who knows on which side his bread is oleomargarined--B 1rdns cript.
 The Cleveland Herad puts it thus: Lucy Your spring poem is accepted, but it's pub lication is indefinitely postponed.
 Cultured people in Cambridge dislike pei names. and hence 'Edipus'' is spoken of al Edward Pus.-SprSnafetd Uaios
 s'Clara Belle," the famous fashion scribe says that s'during the coming season ladiel will wear nothing but longitudinally striped hose'' The printer must have overlooked { page of her copy containing list of the other appareL-Quincy Modern Aryo.
 The Tribune reports that ''the Yale fresh men are undergoing course of Latin con versation." We are afraid that Yale is not doing well by her boys. How is Latin con versation going to fit a man for pulling g good oar in the racing crew ?-Albdng Journal.
 A Newburyport man wanted wife, and so called on Q respectable widow lady of his ac- quaintance for assistance. Madam" he says. ''I'm looking for wife. don't think you'll hardly do, but didn't know but you I called" History does not record what an- swer he received. Neao6ats.s7'ort Herald.
 If you have warts on your hand, rub each of them with bullet, and load 8 gun with the bullets. Then watch until vagrant COW tries to open the front gate of your yard with her horns. Aim carefully at the cows head, and fire. If all the bullets go into her head, it may not cure the warts, but it will be an almighty good thing for the neighborhood.- iStilIa0ater LIna6e,nap.
 A gentleman from the north was spending a few days in Galveston. He was spending the evening with a Galveston gentleman
  ing the house the stranger asked: Have you any old Texas relies or curiosities ?' Certainly" was the reply ''allow me to make you acquainted with my mother-in- law. D. GGEUest07a Neaos.
 A fine haired young lady of Wheeling went away from home some time ago on visit to a friend. She was finicky sort of girl and was very proper indeed. At dinner on the day of her arrival she ate very little. "Why, Jane," said her friend, s'you don't eat any thing. Take something else; please do !" 'sOh, no," she simpered, 'thank you; I never eat big messes away from home" There was silence during the rest of the meal-jSteIben0ille HerGld.
 pr. Emmons, a New England divine, met a pantheistical physician at the house of sick parishioner. It was no place for quar- rel, but the abrupt question of ithe panthe-. ist was, ''Mr. Emmons, how old are you ?" "Sixty, sir how old are you ?'' ''As old as creation" was the triumphant response. t'Then you are the same age Adam and Ever" Certainly, was in the garden when they were" "I have always heard that there was a third party in the garden with them, but I never knew before that it was you, :" re- joined the divine.