Daily Republican., 1881-04-21
QUAINT TANDHUMOROUS.
WittiPisms by Fellows OF Initiate
Jest-The Cream IOf HnmOr.
RRICKTOp's BEE STORY

| feet tangle of flowers and things from
theoyergrown suntlowerS to II forgotten
not. Mrs. Brcktop is very proud of he
garden, and while gushing through In
garden ,he other morning u happ
thought worked its way under her bacl
hair: "What u delightful thing i
would he to have "A hive OF bees, an,
raise our own honey, as we'll as every
thing else" ! have always thought tha
woman inspired ever since she convin
ced me that | couldn't do better thar
TO marry her. This was an original
bold idea; IL happy thought. prOmi+
ed her "A hive of bees, and Went to huSi
ness with a lighter heart, and tirmer be
lief in the grnnineneSs Of home Confor
and amlSiIncntS.
| bought Il hiv" Of honey bees ant
brought it home with me that very
night. 1t was one of those patent hydro
static, back action hives, in which tn,
bees have peculiar Accommodations ant
all the modern Improvements. 1t wa
II nice little hive none of your old
fashioned larn-Sizrd affairs. lttvcn haG
windows in il, 50 that the bees look on,
and see what was going on and enjoy
themselves. Both myself and Mrs B.
were delighted; and before dark | ar.
ranged the stand for the hive in til,
garden, and opened the bay window,
50 that the bees could take an early
start and get to busincS by sunrise next
morning. Mrs. Il. called me honey
several times during the evening" an,
such sweet dreams rs we had
We intended to be up early next
morning to see how our lin e birds tool
to our flowers; but Il full half hOuI
before we ShO It'd have done so W" wrr,
awakened by He nnrarthly yrllS of ;
cat. Mrs. B, lcaped from her coucl
cXcliaminG what can be the matte
with onr yellow Billy" The yclls o
anguish convinced us that something
more than ordinary was the mattrI
with him. We rushed into our back
yard, and, oh, what II sight met ON
ast"nishcd gave, The sight consisted .
Il yellow cal that appeared to he dom!
lis best to make IL bin wheel Of itself
He was rolling over III the grass, bound
my mp ami down, anonhauIng thruugl
the bushes AMI foliage, sanding ON hi
head, and then trying t" drive his tai
into the ground, and all the Will,
Keeping lu' the most r"ntuuudrl yoWi
ing that was ever heard.
"Inc eat is mad, " SAID Mrs. B. at
irightci,
"Why shoul,ln't hc De " the bee,
ar" singing him" said |, comprehend
ing the trouble Mrs. i. flew to the
rescue Of her eat, ano, The eat flew al
her. SO did the bees. one Of then
drove his drill into n"r nosr, another
var"imatrd her un he chin, while anU
lh"r began to lay "u1 hi work near hel
eye. Then she huwlcd, and began I,
act almost as bad - thrrat 1t WasuuitC
an animated >rruc. she cried murder,
and the u"ighbore iuui>rI out from 1tril
hack windows and cried out for The
police, and asked where the fire Was
Tins being triiIe too much, ! threw
Il towel over my head and rushed 10 hrI
rescue. In duiu. 50 ran over ANA
knocked her down, tr0d upon the cat
ana made ma!l,r> lao l"ttCr. Mrs Ii
is 10 rtHid on Il Mrcrtir, and Sh" soon
HAD ilc unUrr her, aud WAS trndcriy
nidupu clown the garden walk with
my head, UeiuG my ears tUr hHdr>.
The. yrlIoI, and -'ur Of the bees
r"iIr 1U h,l' a. Si"tal.cr, and Stung me
Al. overt til" iHc".
Ia rh' M,alr Time the uci -hbUr> were
shouting, aud getting uWlu.ly excited
over The show, While our servant sup
ru-irg Us tiLhljhg, uprHrd he basement
uwT and auul'ltu Il puIlrrman WiI" at
,'urr ldurC"drI to 90 hrrWCrn man Hll,l
vile. Inr lm,~ lHuu't 4oG at Mr., Is. ;
tongue }"j. and ~llr pluCrrGcu to show
tlr puIr9lLan that had abused her in
til" most shameful manner and that
had huughl Il hive Of bees ON purpose to
torment her into the grave. tried to
rNpla II; but then 4 hr" stuug the officer
,u tic nose and he understood it al in
itst ;han;, rnnutr. lie got mat ;ud
actually lost his t"lup"f. He rlhhrd
Iii, nose and did some official rllnniuu.
iiut as this didn't help matters any, he
drew his club and prurrrdrd To drmol-
ISL that patent hrc hive. The bees fail
ed to recognize thdt badge Of Office, and
inst swarm"d on him. They >tung him
hr had nu clothing. and in
some places where he did havcit. Then
he huwird, and commenced acting after
the manner Of lie eat and its mistress.
lie ~ led un The ground for moment
and then got upand made for the street
shouting "Grr." Then the bees turned
upon the people who had climbed ulou
the fence lu>'c the Then they had
some inn. Windows went down and
some Of the neighhorS acted as thuugh Il
twenty y-inch shell was about TO explode.
BY this tim" Il iire-cnginc had arrived.
and Il line of hose was taken thrOUyE
the house into the back yard. one ut
the hOScmcu asked where the fire was:
but Just then one of tn" bees hit him H.,
hind the ear, and he knew. They turn.
I'd a stream upon that halfwrccllcd be-.
hive, and began 10 ''plly away with
)ne hand and bght bees with HE Olhrr.
But the water had the desired effect.
md those bees were soon among the
5hings that were \ terrible crowd had
gathered IN the mean time in front of
he house, but large portion Of il fol-
owed the flying policeman, VINO was
'nbhing his affected parts, aud making
racks fora station house and a asurgrOm
This little adventure somewhat damp
ned our enthusiasm reg trGiug the de-
lghI of making OHr owl honey. Dur
ny the next week we wore miIk.and-
water louIticcS pretty ardrntly, but not
wort WAS said about honey; and now
Mrs. Il. has gone to stay a week with
Ter mother, leaving me- and the conya-
pSccnr eat and Iii" tlcklrd nGiyhbors to
nj0y our own felicity.
LIGHT AS FOAM.
A Chicago youth was sitting on the
hor@ Ola skating pond utterly exllaus-
ed. \ solicitous friend asked the sui
errr what allied him. After pausing to
ct his breath he thus explained: "Well
ou See, Miss Brown rested her foot on
ny knee to get her skate fastened and |
aven't got over the effects of it yet. -
'rooklyn Eagle.
81 don't think a majority Of the mem
ers of church choir ever get to heaven"
Dserved an old lady who was accus-
,med to c0Astrue her Bible very liter
lily. This opinion very naturally occa-
Oned some surprise, and she was ask