The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1881-10-05
Wa' AND WISDOM.

o'elghs 81 hanaT-ief uslns an otIer.
Suitable dover for i widow -widower.
Is clotling store pantry Or d scstrys
Il isn't always the iiowerof tie family that
makes the best bread.
No person wants straw spelled backward Cd
the end Of his nose.
Never call man ompty-headed. say ho
reminds You Of a di;apidatcd contribution
box.
Indians never drink to drown sorrow.
When they get anything to drink they have
no sorrow to drown.
A boarding house mistress, like the rest OF
us, has her weak and strong points-her
weak points being her tea her strong point
the butter.
A poor young mau remarks that the only
advice he gets from. capitalists is to live with
in his income, whereas hfs difficulty is to livs
without an income
! A swell matter: When Henderson said lie
was at his wits end T'ogg remarked that ii
wouldn't take him long to get back d very
short journey, indeed. Boston Transcript.
Latest political news: Solomon's temple
at Jerusalem cost over seventy-seven billions
of dollars complete There were evidently
government contractors in those days.-Steu-
benyie Herald.
An "Indian idol p was recently plowed up
in Woodbury. and they don't know whether ii
is god or devil If it has handle on aud
holds about two gallons it is Woodbury. god.
Canaan News.
j. w. Riley has poem on " The Lost
Kiss" He doesn't make it very plain us to
how DO fost It, put It Is presumed her mother
came into the room just 10 tini6 to catch him
at it.-Rochoster Express.
The wages of a aborer in Russia are eight
cents for days work of fifteen hours, and he
" finds himself. 1t is not stated where he
finds himself at the end of the month, though!
Lowell Courier.
A lady complains that she is not getting
educational value for her money. Her hus-
band asked theft boy six questions on his re-
turn from school. To five he replied correctly,
The answer was Il don't know
A minister had preached an hour then he
remarked: 9 Another wide field opens from
the subject in another direction just then
an old colored saint calculated, .Pleasc,
Lord, shut up de bars. &c Cambridge Tribune.
An Ohio boy has run away with party Of
Indians. If he has received the proper Ohio
training he will be chief of tho tribe before
six months, and have all The valuable property
Of the red men about where he wants tt.
Scene Bridal reception. Several of the
guests after shaking hands with the BRIDE
and an speaking at the same time: "Where
is the bridegroom?' Bride, naiyely "Oh,.
he'sup stairs watching the wedding presents"
brooklyn Eagle.
So see some one has returned the
twenty francs you lost" =" Yes, queer thing
about that. offered ten francs reward but
my money didn't turn up. Then offered
thirty francs, and at least a dozen fellows
brought it 10 me. Figaro.
Got ahead of her there: There was an
had any luck, and who apostrophized Fortune
thus All treacherous goddess! Thou
canst make me lose, but thou canst not make
me buffalo Express
Occult, but very sweet. An extreme agony
is for a young lady to add to her toilet u large
sunhowcr at her belt. The occult significa-
ton of this is: ~ always turn towards the
son--of some rich man. Isn't there u
touch of the intense about this New Haven
Register.
1t is difficult to explain the workings Of tho
youthful mind. A boy who viii listen in
differently to the sublimest truths of theology
will DO aroused to actual interest by the
progress of caterpillar over the collar of d
bald-headeti man in the pew In front of him.
! CREosorE FOR BRoNcHiTIs AND CATARRu.
When going from Switzerland to Italy via
Mont Gents, some years ago, the writer con-
tracted sudden severe cold, which, in the
chill air of Turin, soon brought on severe
attack of bronchitis We FASTENED over to
: the genial air OF Genoa, but it afforded little
relief, and the advice of DR.. Paccioci, profess
sor in the noted Italian Medical College there,
was called in. lie prescribed very simple
remedy, which was at once effective, as it has
, been with many others to whom We have
since recommended it. Pat into o pint or
larger bottle about three gis of water, and
: add two drops Of good creosote. Shake very
thoroughly, take mouthful, gargling it
awhile IN the throat, and swallow it.. Repeat
this frequently, SO as to use up the mixture
in the first twenty four hours, always shaking
well before taking. After the first day, use
three drops Of creosote and the same amount
of water during twenty-four hours, as long as
1t is needed.
The same mixture has often proved very
useful in catarrh. III this case handful or
two Of the well shaken creosots and water IL
snufed up through the nostrils untilit reaches
tina throat and is spit out A tablespoonful
or more is also gargled in the throat and
swallowed. AS catarrh is an inflammation of
the nasal passages accompanied by mucous
dannsif tha crAnsotA which is LARGELY carhorie