The Elk Mountain pilot., 1881-12-22
THOSE CURIOUS WESTERN PEOPLE

THOSE CURIOUS WESTERN PEOPLE
! A young man who left Detroit for
Deadwood IN March, in the best of
health and With lots Of good clothe.
and plenty ofmoney, got home the
other day with his weight reduced iS
pounds, his elbows and knees out to
the weather. and his stomach enter
ing upon third days fast. He had
no particular adventures to relate and
no apologies to make. All that allied
him was the fact that he didn't un-
derstand those far-Wes,cIn people.
He didn't realize that you have got to
take 'em on the run to bring 'e,n
down, and he consequently put his
foot in it at every move. Soon after
reaching Desdwood, and while get
ting away with dinner at restahr-
ant, stranger came in and called
him snipe, and buzzard, and a
chicken and several other ornitholoC-
ical cognomeus, and ended by kick
ing the crown out OF his plug hat.
Now, the proper way would have been
to pull! out a pepper and have popped
that stranger until the MONDAY sun
would have lighted up his whole in
terror; but the D2troitcr let the golden
opportunity slip away, and WAS whist
led out Of the nelghborhood.
Then some one told him, that ne
might strike job in the railroad Office.
If he had obeyed instructions he would
have been all right. He was told to
slant his hat ON his ear. light a fresh
cigar, and walk in on the magnate,
and say;
"Hello old 7x9--,ow's your bully
health this morning.? Have smoke?
Bet you will How are all the boys,
anyhow Got place here for chap
who's up to snuff, and the strongest
brand at thst? Come out and gulp
something at my expense. Nothing
mean about me, and don't you forget
lit, old pard!"
Yes, he lost the situation through his
own obstinacy. He sncaked into the
Office like sheep-thief, put his hat on
a chair, and family inquired if they
would be SO everlasting good as to in
form him if there was one-horse va
cancy to be filed. They gave him the
boss bounce inside of a minute, and
after that no bootblack would look at
him.
Then there was a provision dealer
who was terribly in want of an assist
ant. The Detroiter was just the man
for the place-except that he wasn't.
He was put On the right track by
hotel clerk, who explained:
Now, this Jones is rather queer,
and you must strike him right. You
want to 60 in and cuss him from his
eyebrows to his toe nails, and when
you get through you can pretend that
you took him for old Smith, just around
the corner. He's great cusser, and
he'll take to you like molasses to 4
shingle." /"
That Job was also lost. The Detroit
er called at the store, explained that
he had heard SO and so, and ended
with a wishy-washy request to be taken
on trial-salaryno object. Old Jones
heard him through, and then called
him Michigan dish-rag, an Eastern
| iHuiociIy anu ever SO many Otner
things, and even tried to hit him in
the back with barrel Of Chicago hard
tack.
It was the same in dozen other
cases, and finally a prominent citizen
OF the town took it upon himself to
halt the Detro.ter On the street and
say to him:
"Say, boy, this amt no town for
you. Hadn't you better get up and
Ihy?"
The Dctrolter couldn't fly, but he
had gait of six miles an hour, uphill
and down. He also got a lift on a
freight train now and then, and he
has now returned to people whom
he can understand and appreciate
Detroit Etxs Press. u