Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1881-06-09
IN A NUTSHELL.
tight fit-Delirium tren,ens.

1o'~NN"
The older a fashionable belle or a
sparkling coquette, the more matches
she becomes.
What does winter BRING is the title
of new poem received yesterday. 1t
brings diphtheria and cold feet
SOMEBODY asked how "Endymion,"
the name of Beaconstield's new novel,
was pronounced. at is pronounced a
failure"
The difference between the Fenian
leader and an advance agent is that
one is head centre, while the other is
sent ahead.
The most melancholy case of suicide
yet recorded, is the little boy who, hav-
ing been threatened with whipping,
hung his head.
Diner shifting -"Waiter, i really
think this fish is not fresh" Waiter
yes, sir-can't answer for that, I've
only been ere week, SIR"
A young man in this city described
Il taxidermist to bevy of young girls
as one who sort o uphoisters animals.
He took the ake.-Rochester Democrat,
Don Piatt says: From the recent
terrible marine disaster we are led to
decide that water is becoming more
dangerous to human life than whisk-
ey."
''Do you drink" said temperance
reformer to beggar who had implored
aims for him. eyes, thank YOU" re-
turned the candid pauper: where
shall we go?"
Did you ever notice how much more
you walk on the foot with the corn on
it than on the other one? You hardly
notice the other one at ALL Philadelph-
ia Bulletin.
81 think the goose has the advantage
of you" said the landlady to an mex
pert boarder who was carving. Guess
he has mum-in age" was the wither-
ing retort.
"Who runs this cheese?' inquired a
customer of his grocer. "Oh, I'm run
ming it myself, Tspose." ~ didn't
know. There a good many shippers
aboard. '-Neao Haen Register.
"What lucky man Jones ISL ex-
claimed Beadle. "He is an A. b., A.
NJ, and an Ii. d., and l see by his
card that he is now an r. s. V. p, He's
lucky dogn-Boston Transcript.
This is editorial courtesy in the south:
A Virginia editor is about to deliver
lecture, and in commenting u on it an
other '. r. says; at is likel gliding
gold to praise his performance.
An epicure is q man who knows what
is good to eat, and who talks about his
food necessarily. All an epicure needs
is bristles, and then he would be class
ed at a glance.-New Hotea Register.
A woman pianist who plays with
with only one hand is just now the talk
of Paris. If we remember rightly, the
Italian organist invariably plays with
one hand. The Italian has wonder
full turn for music.-Proudence Press
A rubber headed tack" has been
invented by a misguided man. Every
body who has sat down in peace, has
risen in wrath, knows that the head of
tack is not the end which needs inn
provement with a rubber point,
A young man in the "Answers to
Correspondents" column in New
York paper asks; "How can / gain a
copius command of language?" We
would suggest that he try sitting
down on q tack--LoDisWHe Courier
Journal,
OF course n girl won't permit fell
low to come right in front of her and
take kiss, and the poke bonnet pre-
vents fellow from comming up behind
her when she can't see him stealing
kiss. The poke bonnet will soon disap-
pearl ston Post.
Little boy: Mamma. | want stick
Of candy Clever mamma; (Which
DO you want, the stick or the candy?"
Little boy: (Which would you take,
mammal Clever mamma: ''rhe
stick, Of course" Little boy: " Well,
mamma, you can have the stick-I'll
lake the candy"
Don't talk to me about the descent
of speci S." exclaimed Jones. "You
can't make me believe for instance,
that | descended from a monkey"
Don't get excited" replied Fogg,
there is no evidence that YOU have DE-
Sceaded from the monkey, none what
ever. "-Baston Transcript.
A London scientifc journal saws the
cucumber is known to have been cult
waited for more than 5000 years; that
1t was extensively grown in ancient Egg
ypt. Perhaps it was the cucumber
and not the asp that Cleopatra took to
her bosom, with such fatal results
We always did doubt that snake story.
"What is the worst thing about rich
I'D pol0 IL