The comet. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1877-1882, 1881-07-23

PHILADELPHIA Press.

Phliadelphla ircss
A young man with "a glass eye was
engaged to be married, but he did not
like to inform his betrothed of his
ocular defect. A week previous to
the day named for the wedding he
confided in his future fatherin-law,
who, to his surprise, received the in
formation in a half amused manner.
"Ill make it all right for you, my
boy you init ate me exactly in any
thing | do after supper tonight and
see how good-naturedly Maria," that
was the ladies name,) "will take it,"
Accordingly as soon as the evening
meal was concluded, the father looked
at the young man and began to sing:
Oh. do you know tho glass-eyc man,
The glass-eye man, the glass-eye mang
Oh, do you know the glass-eyc man
Who lives down our wayg
And as he concluded the last line he
took his left eye and placed 1t on
plate i'm front of him. The young
man was very much astonished TO
find his Maria's father as unfortunate
as himself, while at the same time IL
gave him courage to reply:
oh, yes; know the glass-cye man
VINO lives uOWn our way,
and to deposit his crystal optic on the
table. Maiia was convulsed with
laughter at the proceedings, but her
future husband was ready to believe
all humanity one-eyed when she treb-
led forth:
l also know the glass-cye man
Who lives down our way,
and dropped her eye into glass of
water by her side.
Frequent assaults and battery have
been made by sternly virtuous fe-
males In cars on glass-eycd men.
Only recently gentleman was enjoy
ing the scenery through the car win
dow with his natural eye, unaware Of
the fact that his glass eye was staring
straight ahead at a maiden lady of
Sunday-school principles. She put
up with II for half an hour and then
got up, and, smashing his hat over
his head called him lirentious viii
lain and other complimentary cpl
thets, and was only prevented from
scratching his face by his timely re-
treat to the smoking-car, under the
supposition that he hnd been attacked
by mad woman.
One of the most curious stories Is
the case Of a supposed blind beggar in
Paris. This man was arrested for
some trivial offense and Oh his way to
the prison one Of his eyes fell out ON
the sidewalk. On being examined it
was discovered that for long lime he
had been In tue habit of wearing two
ingeniousN contrived porcelain covers
TO his real eyes, which were Of diff
ferent color to the sham ones, and he
was Mt once recognized as a criminal
for whom the authorities had been Ia
search.
PRovIDESTIAL EFFECT ON AN IN
... DIAM
Fifty years ogo, when California
was under the dominion Of spain, n
one-eyed commandant ruled at San
Francisco who was the terror of the |
Indians in the vicinity. A Yankee |
skipper travelling that way induced
the Spaniard to purchase one of the
then newly invented glass eyes from |
him, aud to the fear aud surprise of
the redskins the commandaut sudden I
ly appca ed with two eyes. This was
too much Tor the braves, 80 one OF their |
number was deputed to assassinafe |
the senors He managed 10 gain ac- |
cess TO his bedchamber, but on ap-l
preaching the couch was terrified TO
fiud the coInmandant sleeping with
one eye closed and the other wide
open. The amazed Indian gave an |
yell and threw himse
from the window
A glass eye once figured in civil
trial. An opiican sued a woman for
the value Of an eye he had inserted
for her with the promise that she
would find It both ornamental and
useful. The woman declined 70 pay,
her defense in court being as follows
"I have false teeth, can eat with
them; I have false hair, IL keeps my
head warm and u ornamental; Il
have also a false leg, can walk with
Il, but taking her glass eye out and
dashing Il to The ground) can neither
see with my false eye nor l. IL an OBJ
ject Of beauty.n ,shs gained her suit
The one-eyed man, however has
this consolation --hs IL king among /
the blind.