davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1881-12-07
Didn't Like Her Mouth.

A strange case of matrimonial infe-
icity has been in progress on East
Market street during the past week.
The ssdeserted wife, in this case has
long been a sufferer from defective
teeth, and has passed many a s1eepiess
night ON account of the toothache.
About week age she called upon q
physician for relief, and he informed
her that it was useless to expect relief
except by the aid of the dentists for
cops. She then called upon q dentist,
and after examining them lie informed
her that every tooth would have to
come out before she would be free from
pain. 1t was rather unwelcome news,
but she had suffered SO long and tried
so many remedies in vain that without
more ado she mounted the dental chair,
and in few minutes the dentist re-
moved the old snags that had been the
source of SO much annoyance, and she
returned home. When her husband re-
turned from his work that evening. he
looked at her in perfect amazement q
moment, and asked her what in the
world she had been doing TO make her
SO ugly. She showed him that her
teeth had all been pulled out, which
caused the changed expression, when
lie suddenly wheeled about and utter
ing an expression of disgust he left the
house, and has not returned yet. He
has taken board several squares away
from his home and refuses to go back
home. The wife is nearly heart-broken
to think that in getting rid of the tooth
ache she lost husband. -Lou1Scttte
Courier, JOlt3n0I
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1881-12-07
A New Tornado.

The torpedo having practically revo-
iutionized the conditions of naval war
fare, it can scarcely surprise us to find
that inventors are turning much of their
thoughts to developing the usefulness
(that is, destructiVenessD of so potent
o weapon. A Roumanian engineer has
designed new kind of torpedo, which
In several points exhibits considerable
originality. Its chief peculiarly is that
it can be managed under water Tor
twelve hours Mt a stretch, acting at a
depth of from one hundred feet in riv-
ers to seven or eight hundred feet IN
the sea. BY means of screws it can be
made to rise or sink noiselessiy, and
either suddenly or by gradual stages.
its system of illumination is internal,
and enables the officers to see for dis
lance of hundred and fifty feet under
water. While on the surface it is man
aged like an ordinary iron-clad vessel.
but it can mapmuvre in any direction.
All this is very ingenious. but we de-
voutly trust that there will be no occa-
sion for its use.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1881-12-07
A Rebuke From a Boston Waiter.

Boston is the center of so much in
telligence and knowledge of the propri-
cites and exactnesses of speech That
even the hotel walters talk like so many
Lindley Mnrrays, and appear rs ami
mated first fruits of the science of or
thoepy. An evidently foreign gentler
mila was at breakfast i'll one of our
leading caravansaries the other morn
ing, and Sc, ing salmon on the bill of
fare, ordered some. But he was unac-
quainted with the correct pronunciation
of the WORT, and SO in saying, please
bring me some salmon,n gave the '+f''
in the name Of the fish its full force.
The walters countenanee was agitated
by spasm of pain, but he soon recoy-
cred himself enough to say: ''ISal-mon,
sirP Sammon. sir; sammon, sir! Yes,
sir,'' and glided in a stately way to the
kitchen, leaving the foreign gentleman
staring blankly after him, and wonder
ing at the amazing cheek OF the Boston
waiter. - Boston Journal.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1881-12-07
Race Prescription.

Chambers s Journal. usually very
liberal paper. lately said: 'tHousehold-
ers in London are plagued with showers
of blacks. Afighting where they list.
they intrude themselves into all, even
the best regulated dwellings. By or
binary arrangements you cannot keep
out blacks. They come in by doors and
windows. They disfgure the equip
ments of the drawing room, and are
execrated for their noxious presence
everywhere. Blacks are the torment of
London. worse even than the fogs, the
typhoid emauations of the sewage. or
the drinking water. which it might not
be pleasant to nnllyze. We entertain
the notion that they are endured as an
incurable evil. They are no more to
be averted than the east wind. Gould
not something be attempted to exclude
the blacksP'' It may not be out Of
place TO add that s'b,acks'' is the Eng
1ish word for ''soot.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1881-12-07
A Romance of the Dinner Hour,


My occupation was of sedentarg
character, and. in consequence, in Sc
lecting my boarding house I endeav-
ored to get one quite distance from
my place of business, in order to have
some enforced exercise
In walking home to my dinner met
with many folks on the same errand,
the same folks day after day. In time
! became well acquainted with the faces
OF many of them; and one young lady
in particular took my especial fancy.
She was not q beauty as beauty goes,
but had a generally pleasing and s.tak-
ing" countenance and very pretty eyes.
We gradually grew to take notice of
one another, first by glance of the
eyes, then by smile. and finally by q
little nod of the head. But we never
were on 4 speaking acquaintanceship;
for although, IS said before, of a very
susceptible nature, / was very set in my
ideas of propriety, and it did not suit
them te.talk 10 the young lady without
proper Introduction. Our intimacy.
even up to the nodding point, had been
Of very slow growth. After some
months had become so much interest
ed that had determined to get an in
PRODUCTION to my unknown charmer.
anu was WOuuoFiuS Uy Wna6 meanS
should accomplish it. when one day she
failed to appear. The next day, and
the next. and the next, she did not put
in an appearance, and then thought
she must ill; but when two or three
weeks had elapsed and she still did not
resume her daily walk. felt quite dis
consulate. / made such inquiries as
could regarding her, but gained no in
formation. and at last gave up in des-
pair. She had made more than an or
binary impression on my feelings, and
I settled down to business with a rather
melancholy air; so much so that even
my feiow-laborers wanted to know
what was tho matter with me.
About year after the sudden disap-
pearance of the young lady was walk
ing along one day at noon on thessame
street as of old, when who should / see
coming down the street but the identi-
cal person, carrying with motherly
air, bouncing baby" I imagined
from the way she held the youngster
up. Us if for me to admire, and the
smiling glance she gave that she had
come out on purpose to exhibit it to me.
/ never saw her again, and thus ended
the romance of my dinner hour.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1881-12-07
-------------717
Edison and the Goose's Eggs.

I have spoken about Eiisonfs pa
thence and perseverance. A funny sto-
~. the truth of which several of his
friends attest. has been told me by one
of his enthusiastic admirers to throw
into relief these qualities. Gamblers,
as rural folk will know, fog with their
wings children who show themselves
disposed to interfere with Matching
geese. When Edison was a boy of Z
or s. and still wearing petticoats, boys
clothing being thought by his people
too dear. it was observed by them, at
the farm in Michigan where he was
brought up, that his bare legs were of
ten beaten by the gander. He was told
to keep out of that birds way and TO
let the geese alone. The next Spring
hostilities were again declared between
him and the gander. One fine morning
Edison disappeared. It was ascertained
that he took with him store of food.
As he was still missing at night great
uneasiness was felt. A search was be-
gun next day. The child was found in
a wood, sitting down and holding out
his skirts over a sort of straw nest that
he had made and filled with eggs which
he had taken from under an incubating
goose. He wanted to see whether he
could not hatch just as well as that
bird. The idea had set him in fever
for twelve months previously, and he
had not abandoned it. Unphilosophical
parents whipped and scolded him.
An acquaintance. to whom a Michi-
gan farmer had told this curious anec-
dote, went to Edison aud asked whether
it was not fabulous. ..No. it is quite
true he replied. II was terribly dis
appointed when they pulled me off my
nest, and had not the courage to try
again. But if / went now to hatch
those goose's eggs should succeed. ]
have more perseverance," IndtGaaop-
oils Nelcs
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1881-12-07
Corporal Punish nlent.

Judge Higtey, of Cincinnati. has de-
llivered learned opinion upon the sub
ject of corporeal punishment. the case
in question being one in asiiichat the pu-
pill leaned his heal upon, his hand in
violation of school rules and was ridi-
culed by the teacher. Again the boy
laughed when called 10 recite. and was
struck on the head with the open hand.
At tea, the same night, the, boy had q
poor appetite, and was delirious
through the night. but able the follow
ing day to resume his school studies.
By process of reason the Judge reached
the conclusion, upon existing decisions.
that, whenever the punishment inflicted
shocked the moral sense of the dispas-
sionate and reasonable, it is Illegal.
The standard of that moral sense ha&a.
in his Judgment, advanced to that ex-
cent that the defendant (the teacher),
by employing ridiculc, which was not
commendable, by slapping the pupil on
the head. which was not o proper mode
of punishment. and by inflicting corpo-
real punishment where there was no
open insult or disobedience to justify it,
had brought himself within the statute,
and he should find him guilty:
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1881-12-07

rraxasr,s,, ,E,oot. B,seers.

>e-~~~@ - -
H yoH are weak, or iangufd, as.
FraZer's Bitters.
If your flesh is flabby and your com
plexion sallow, use Frazer's Bitters.
If you live in malarial district, ust
Frazer's Bitter'sa - txg =
Ifworn down with the care of chill
'dren, use Frazer's Bitters.
If you have got the blues, use Fraz
er's Bitters.
If you kept late hours and lived con.
'trary to the laws of health. use Fraz
er's Root Bitters.
IF you need toning up. take Frazer's
Root Bitters.
If you have abused instead of used
natures gifts, use FraZer's Bitters
IF you feel old before your time, use
FraZer's Bitters. Z.
Hlife has become a burden and you
have gloomy forbodings, use Frazer's
Bitters.
If your hands tremble and yovr eyes
have grown dim, Frazer's Root Bit
tiers will make you feel young again.
Sold by al druggists everywhere at
the low price 800 per bottle. f. S.
Henry Co., Sole Proprietoe, Cleveland
Ohio. afe s saa h hs6
For sale by McCabe q Wheaton. Rock Island.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1881-12-07
A new method of mutilating silver

A new method of mntilating silver
currency is being employed by num-
bers of patent-medicine vendors and
others to advertise their goods and
wares. OF late large numbers of coins
have been received in the treasury
which are stamped on, one side with adj
yertisements. Tho stamps used are
some sort of die which cuts letters and
words into the coin. In most instances
the name of the owner of the article
advertised is not cut on the coin, but
the advertisement simply recommends
a certain nostrnm or article. As the
coin is stamped only on one side, it can
be passed very readily, exposing only
the perfect side This is a mntilation
of the currency and a violation of the
law The secret service has been di-
rected to investigate this and hunt ont
and prosecute the offenders.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1881-12-07
Dancing the Indians Into subjection.

The United States troops that were
despatched to Keshena ut the time the
Apaches were hoeing it down SO lively
in their great war dance, have gone
into winter quarters in order to be on
hand for the next dance. The army
(says Western paperl has been light
~ spoken of by the press in connection
with Indian campaigns. but it is believed
that the soldiers. shod as they are with
government shoes, would be u holy ter
FOR at dance. Death would be the
portion of all creeping things. and the
Indian who got away without having
his feet mashed would be lucky indeed.
This, then, appears 10 be the happy
settlement of the Indian question. The
untutored children of the forest are to
be deluded into dancing with the sol
diers of the regular army, and then, ii
they ever leave their reservations to 60
on the war-path. they will 60 in per-
ambulators with their feet bound up in
pieces of blanket. - $40 aal
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1881-12-07
Sized Him Up as q Flat.

AS Police Justice Wandeil was walk
ing on Broadway. near Tenth street. on
Friday afternoon, well-dressed man
seized his hand and shook it heartily.
.sWhy, you can't tell how delighted /
am to see you,n he said. ssHow is Mrs.
-a-Mrs.--. Do you know have
almost forgotten your namef' ssMy
name is Wandel1," said the justice.
sand I am police magistrate in this
city," As the mans coat-tails disap-
peared around the corner the justice
met friend. do look very green?"
he inquired. NO" said the friend.
.why do you askp" Nothing; only
to-day, for the third time. q confidence
man has tried to trap me. "-Neso Fork
sSifza. ..-...-
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1881-12-07
He Had Done ,sm oftan.

Over in Jersey last week the manager
of combination was applied to by q
lanky-legged chap for an engagement.
The fellow. who looked lugubrious
enough TO have been the shadow OF q
badly acted Hamlet, stumbled across
the stage, and unjointing himself, col
lapsed into chair.
well, sir, what's your line OF bust
nessP' queried the manager. l..f 81 81
!. mot particular - anything that
s.Ever been on the stage?''
s.Often!'' remarked tho aspirant.
throwing quid Of dog-leg at the iasad
his right knee at one and the same time.
s. ..D've s'pose You can do the landlord
in the Lady of Lvonsp /" -.
eyes, sir.ree I've done all the iand-
lords in Camden. !" ss.
And jet the aspirant wasn'te engaged
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1881-12-07

Joel Chandler. Harris. the author of
x.Uncle Remus,a is printer, and he
puts his compositions into type without
writing them. His fame came to him
as !. surprise, and he has net yet quite
recovered from his establishments
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1881-12-07
THE REGULATOR!

IF You HAVE EATEN ANYTHING HARD OF DIGEs.
TfoN, feel heavy after meals or seepless at night
take sose of Regulator and you will feel relieved
and sleep pleasantly. II can be taken in the place
of Quinine biters of sny kind; the dose is small
and its virtues undnubted.
See that you get the Genuine in White Wrapper.
with red e. prepared only by j. II. Zelin 81 Co.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1881-12-07
CURE THE LTVER with
DR.. SIMMONS LIVER REGULATOR

Time and Doctors Bills viii be saved by always
keeping the Regulator in the House.
for whatever the aiinent may be, q thoroughly
safe purgatve. Alternative and tonic can never be
ont of place. Persons living in unhealthy Iocali-
ties may avoid all bilious attacks by taking dose
occasionally to keep the liver in healthy action.
If You LEAD A SEDENTARY LIFE, or are weak
ened blythe stain of your duties. avoid stimulanis
and OBJ .
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1881-12-07
CHICAGO. ROCK ISLAND q PACIFIC r.. Y. T

Is THE GREAT CONNECTING LINZ
Its maia line runs from Chicago 70 Council
Eeneseo, Moline. RoeE island Davenport. West
hibertS iowa Slty Massnga BroosyIa sFin ploI
&c. and Avoca with BRANCHES froll Enreau
junction 70 Peoria wilton Junction to edusca.
tine Washington. Fairfield. Eldon. Belknap,
ron. Leayanwortn, AtohlsQu, and kansas City,
Washington TO SigoCrney. Cskaloosa- and Knox
gilles KeoknS to Pennington BonapaTte. Ben
vile 0ss ~tsoosa, Peila Monroe. and Des Eones;
Newt - Monroe: Des Aoines TO Inslianola and
WintcTseri Atlantic to Lewis and Auduoon; and
Avoea 80 Harlan This is positively the only
Railroad, Elaich Owns, and opc-a:ea through
line from Chicago Fptotne State 81 KANSAS.
Through Express PASSENGER Trains, with Pull
man Palace Cars attacned arc run each way daily
eslwse Il al YE91A KA ms, S TdTT
eoK. 1ls reugt cars are also run between AfiIwau-
kee am Kansas City, via the "MilwanEee and
Jsorf. n Esfid Sksv-t Il. 80 es3lsts
equipped It's road bed Is six3 ply rerfee aud ITS
truck Is laid with aleel raLils.s zs.---z
What will please ycu most win DO the pleasure
e. en1eglng yoes p ss a n ~ one sa .,s
our maen. Accent Dining Cars ID aoconlpan NJ al
Through Express Trsfna. You Ees an entire
meal. Us good a. y served IN any nsst-esss bote
Aprrecfatiag the fact thar q na5eeity OF she
.,epple prefer separate apartments % sAIsefsnt
purposes far1d the ifrrDeDsc passenger DuSanesa
nonnce tAat this Company runs Pullman Palace
s5ssfsE5 Cszrs 1orslcepilg purposes. and Raiacs
pJIsa1zAN PALACE CARS are y,
ClEEEzK4 ELTEEss KANSAS Ck1sXs
Tickets via this Line. kRow1 AZ the
Eor faEorTnatfsa not Ohfasnablc &C 81
a. T. CA BILE,
Tsea PreesdenI and Gau1 N&znRzz
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1881-12-07
TRUTH ATTESTED.
Some Important Statements of well-Known
s People Wholly Verified.

In order that the public may fully realize the gen.
uineness of the statements, as well as the power
and yaue of the article of which they speak, we
publish herewith the snte signatures of parties
whose sincerity is beyond question The truth of
these testimonials is absolute the facts they
announce be ignored. 9Ga Ska 800
II MOLINE ILL, July IA, 1881.
H. FL. WdrBer& Co., Rochester, ". p:
GENTLEMEN: Your remeIly,the Safe Kidney and
Liver Cure. has been used by both my wife and my
self She nsed it ION general principles " sys-
TEN and liver regulator; took the medicine for a
long-standing kidney trouble, which has been the
source of much Inconvenience and which failed TO
yield to the doctors remedies or any others until
used your Safe Kidney and Liver Cure. We both
unite IN prononncing it to be the best medicine we
ever used, and in recommending it TO Others as a
safe remedy
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1881-12-07
Climax !

] Pages CIlala:.S Ga4Ve.
A Family Blessing for Is cents.
1t heals without Il scar. No
family should be W ithOut it.
We WARRANT it to GRE
Sores, Ulcers, Scr0fula sores,
Fever Sores, Salt RheEnA,s ore
Breasts or Nipples, ETyslpelas,
Swollen Glands, lnfiamed Eyes,
Scalds, Burns, Cuts, Bruises,
Fistula, Piles, B0ils, Chi!blains,
Frosted Feet, C0rIis, and all cu-
tane0us diseases on man or beast.
1t has been used over | twenty
Eve years, without one failure.
It has no paral.ei-hay;ng lser.
fectly eradicatel Gist ase, end
healed after all other Iesfte&ies
had failed. 1t. isa eonspplusd of
Arnica with IA any other j. ~ lsaetsl
and Balsams, and put mp IN larger
boxes for the same price tiaan amy
other Ointment -
ew Sold by Druggists everywhere.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1881-12-07

this Company OWNS all Roads shown above IN heavy Lines
z
nsRA SapfD Sarenaedn
hcomeas onAnenB ness Ccnsf h aup ines
md hyt Travel n thgp1
nEREiLI W O. xS nosa A. II AEFEsEfEF E r. PfAaGE1
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1881-12-07
Moffaf2s Life Pills,
ard
Phpnx biIlers.

hEt1aftA~ gsttUs %
The Most Successful Medicines
In the World.
Established i'm 1885, by one Of
our, Most Eminent. Physicians.
and now used throughout North
and South america, with more
pleasing results than airy other
Medicine. .ss5s]
MOffat's Life Pills -
are purely vegetable; they act
ON the Stomach and Liver, and
regulate the entire system; and
put all the functions Of nc body
In q healthy condition, sand
WARRANTED certain cure for
all Malari0us Diseases, Torpid
Liver, Impure Blood, Jaundice,
Bilious Complaints, DyspepsiaS
Indigestion. COstiyeness, NerY
Gus and Sick Headache, Colds,
Scuryy, General Weakness, and
Fever s. Ague.
MOffat's Phoenix Bitters
correct the Secretions OF the
Stomach, and are Sure Cure
for sSleeplcssness, Nervousness,
Dyspepsia, Female Complaints,
Weakness, Debility, etc. ~
Thousands of Certificates are
i'm our possession giving perfect
CURES effected by these inyalu-
able medicines, and we are GER
tain that they will do just what
we have said. 1t is simply ash
ed that the afflicted will TRY
THEM ONCE, their use will con-
vince the most skeptical.
Pages Climax Salve 25 cents q box.
Moffat's Life Pills 25 cents q box.
Moffat's Phenix Bitters SLIGO bottle.
+ tB Sold by Druggists everywhere. "
]. p MILLS, Sole Proprietor,
So Liberty Street New York.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1881-12-07

w LIN ELtAkB n " A 49, ~ 49, a. o
Dfniag Care foT eating pnrpoges only 0ne oIRges
SALOON where you can enjoy your 4aF2na~
ctstH hours of the day.
Magnificent Iron Bridges span thu StisssssipPi
and Miaeouri rivers at an points crossed ~ this
line. ard transfers are avoided at Council Biuhss
Kansas City, LeavenwoEth. and AtchisOU, con-
neczscns being made 10 Union ep9ts. -, -,
THIS GREAT THROUGH LING ARE as.
-ht { nleheo. with all diverSing ,ines for tie
AZ ENC LEwocp. with the L. s. EM g. and T.
II Y S lr HEIGHTS. VIII r., c. 3 s.
- & Rs1rzE, With IN Cent r. r,
~: III Md; and T. p s W. Rds.
At RocK ISLAND with . sfAlsl1ukeg r. QocE
81 TisvEyPolrFs with ths Davenport Division
AZ " f sss l.lisE rFy. With theB. GRE GRR
Fl iss Moi iS s' WITH MI b III II b = k
AEfCENcIL BLuFFs. with Union Pacific r. II,
At OMAHA. With b q MO. r. X. n. Ii Neb.l
AtCo1JMDUs JrRcTIoN.with BIC. i. a y. RI
81. L. & pRc- and G. B. q @ r. nds.
Louis & Pc aid 81 u. kso 4 NV r. IDS.
AZ ATrHIsoN. win atcn.. Tofekn q santa Fef
AtctI q Neb. aEd Cen. I3r- u. y T. Efda
At LEAyEswoaTH. with Kan. Pac, ana Kan
zEkASszs crrr. ~lsn an iines for the wep
. thseugh 90 rEoRFA, DIES NoENEG.
A,TCEEASfAMs mRd LzsAYENNFOKTH.
/. tsreat Kock EsaRnG HEoufesH gsre aole ~
Issss home elckes once. address.
6en2 Tskns and RAaB' eT Az
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1881-12-07
What will the Weatharhe To-norrowF

feet and reliable. We VII send K desrerSd re to
Weather Indicator in the World. just the
thing for CHRISTMAS PRESENT. Agents wanted
everywhere Send for circular. Betc0re Of limitations
OSWEGO THERMOMETERS WORKS, Oswegos n. z.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1881-12-07
The Symptoms OF Liver
l-ll Complaint

are UHthSluEcS HHu pdIu III
the side-eOmetlmes the
pain is in the shoulder and
is mistaken for rheuma-
fism the stomach is affec
Morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven [Conn.]) 1848-1894, 1881-03-02
LOCAL NEWS.
Cured BY Prayer.

Cured BY Prayer.
Miss Lille Tyler, of Damascus, Pa, had
been an invalid for six years. About month
ago she heard of a lady living in Connecticut
who cured long standing diseases by prayer.
letter was sent to this lady and an answer
received from the worker of miracles ap-
pointing the day and hour when Lille and
her friends should engage In prayer for her
restoration to health. The day came and the
invalid's friends gathered at her bedside
about week ago. Miss Tyler was, at the
time, too weak to raise her head from the pill
low. At the appointed time the young lady
and her assembl ed relatives engaged in pray
or. Before the hour had elapsed the young
lady was sufficiently recovered to sit up in
bed, and has been rapidly improving ever
since. She is to-day in such an improved
condition that she Is able to ride out, and her
relatives are convinced that her complete
cure will result.