Lexington weekly intelligencer., 1881-03-26
SENATOR VEST.

/
Yiatt. to set down Senator Vest, OF Mis-
souri,, as the best story-teller and mimic
in either branch OF congress. He was
telling, yesterday, In his own lnimltable
way. about an interview he had with
Senator Ransom. They were taking
breakfast together not long ago, or,
rather, waiting patiently till John
Chamberlin's oven had warmed the ter
rapin over from dinner. II was mad as
the devil" said Vest, ''and displayed
my feelings so we'll that Ransom want |
ed to know what was the matter. Mat |
teri said l. just look at this! and l
pulled out of my pocket the copy OF
country sheet out in my district. which
contained spiteiul attack. Matt
observed, with the proper amount OF
warmth, what relief have we fellows
got from this sort OF thing? How can
we get any redress? Why, several
years ago there was a small-bore editor
out my way who got smart one day and
printed beastly libel on me, aud, to
make the unpleasantness complete, the
rascal actually sent a copy 'oi it into the
bosom OF my family. l did the first
thing that occurred to me, and wore
both myself and cane out on his back.
Do you know he sued me for assault.
and came back with libel. He re-
covered about 800, and had me put
under bonds to keep the peace, and III
swear he had me advertised as a rascal
in every issue OF his paper tor year.
That's the relief l got. There must be
some law passed to protect the country,
! and swear Pm gong to lead the cru
sade!" 7-i -
well, Ransom took "a look in the
glass. tucked his head under his coat-tail ,
and coming up to me with the air OF an
elder brother. remarked: Vest, my
dear fellow, my dear boy, why can't
you take these things in the spirit OF q
philosopher tive men in public life
> should allow all these floating trifies to
8 worry us we wouldn't have time ioI
b anything else, eh ? Take 1t like man
;. Vest, and settle your mind"
|, s.Coming to the conclusion that Ran
= som was as much oil philosopher as
= statesman, 1 turned in and tore tha
Q breakfast to pieces and pitched the Of
"a fsnsive sheet in the fire. Well, about {
!. \ week alter that went into the senate
=, cloak room one day and there was Kan
3 sonswalklng up and down like disturb
D, ed ghost. There was q notably nerv
ID Gus twitch at his mustache, and a pc
culiarly pettnrbed clutch at his Goa
tail, and 1 knew he was in trouble
some kind. So l said, What's the mai
IS ter, Ransom Ain'tyou wellP'f
BIT =. No, I amt, Vest, You known
never am. Can't hardly find energ
r enough to transact my public duties
as Nothing worse, then, than th
or chronic ailment?'' -.. ,n
a eyes, there is. Look here, d-nl
- Look at this! Amt it enough to war;
~ a man upP' and he jerked out 81 h
lrt pocket a small paper, about the size
" q Sunday school card. You could 8
ia the whole darned thing on the end OF
on barrel; and I'd bet a pair OF cuffs u
editor took all his subscriptions in cor
es wood and onions. 1t was called Il
a Goose Greek Tribune, or something
ne that sort. Well, at the head OF tt
,,v column was the offensive article. {.
~ said that North Carolina had but Of
"o Senator. There was man there
lrt the name of Ransom, who claimed
in have credentials. and was trying
LAT represent the state, but the only re
=. senator was the Hon. 4. B. Vant
'ne When l finished it l looked at Matt. al
lar he had eaten off five finger nails a
nd torn out three locks OF his front ha
,er So put on the highly sympathetic a
-. phllosophic and said: Ransom, my de
A.' fellow. take 1t cool. We public M
at can't afford to waste time over the
ns. fippant hits
It's. ".But, great Lord. Just think. We
n, of all I've done for that state. WI
" Vest. I've got more appropriations
the river and harbor bill than any Q
d before me, and then to have such
Ia snarl from dog"
II "But be philosopher, my dear
lew. Go on with your breakfast"
mo 'Well, he took another clutch at
a coat tail, and remarked with dscid
emphasis. Vest, you're iool! -"