The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1881-06-28
La CREME DIES CHRONIQUEs.
What the Alleged Wits of Paris
Find to Say in Their Newspapers.
From the Sunday World.

x gets deafer and still more deaf da;.
ly.
"Curious, hey ?" says be, to friend |
the other evening, show the art OF con-
versation has declined-completely gone
out. / can sit here all through q soiree
and see the people all round me looking |
at each other and gesticulating, but never
word do they spesk"
-
: 81 wonder, madamoiselle," SAYS . cus-
toner at q pasiry-cook's shop to the
Hebe at the counter, s'that the sight of
so many delicacies does not inspire you
with desire 70 taste them"
"You forget, monsieur" replies the
Young lady chilingly, "that see them
msde!n hI Ny wx !
~
"Why," asks q visitor tc the Salon,
stopping before classical picture, "why
did Diana turn Acteon into deerp.' 3
20 er, because sheer wanted to enjoy
the pleasure of running after him." i
-
Definitions: g
Comma-A lie which has cut its teeth.
Observation-Disclosures in slippers.
So
NJ. de Saint Bertrandis playing Ecarte
at an aristocratic gathering, and turns q
king whenever it is his deal with mo-
notonous regularity. 4
The murmurs Of the other, players
swell to a positive tumult and the noble
host comes bustling up to restore peace
"You see that confounded ST. Ber-
trand," he says npologetically, "after
dinner, aud when he has bottle Of wine
in him, feels ten years younger-carries
on just he did when he was one ofithe
boys, you know. Doesn': mean any
harm, though" s
A Daniel come to judgment.
"Prisoner, have you ever been con-
victed ?"
."No, your honor" .a,,Y se.,.
"Well, you're going to, be Sit down
till the case has been decided"
-
M. lola, who IS greatly given TO dis.
cussing the amount he received from bis
novels, remarked the other evening: IL
think l may call myself successful-take
'D'Assoimoir,' for instance; every line
brought me in Eve francs at least''
"Five francs" said one Of the compa-
ny; "that is poor pay. II can't make
100000 francs line | consider myself
doing a poor business. One line last
year paid me 3G0 600"
Seeing that NJ. Zoa was threatened
with an apoplectic tit the gentleman
adds: tH
"rrue, they we're railroad lines!!''
A gentleman halls a hack and before
entering it asks of the driver:
"How is your horse, John2 1t is all
important that should catch the train.
Drive to the Eastern station"
''Boss, this horse cleaves a mile long
fissure through the atmosphere in two
minutes and forty seconds
Seven minutes afterwards, despite the
fact that the driver is playing the over
ture to The Tribute OF ZamOrra" upon
him with the butl-end OF the whip, the
peerless steed slackens his speed.
you wretched plug" the passenger
hears him mutter, ''are you going to
make me miss fourth train this morn
ing
-
1t was the late M. Duvergier de Hau.
ranne who enunciated the famous for.
mula, "The king reigns but does not
govern" ~ ti.al s''.ss
Thiers, who always held his friend in
high esteem, used to say laughinglY:
"That confounded fellow has always
had the knsck OF saying things that
stick. For my part l never got off but
one such phrase, The republic is the
government which divides Us the least,
and, would you believe it, Duvergier
pretends that he said it long before me I y
Then he would add gravely:
sand probably he did"
~ -
The Countess of x. is a woman after
NJ. Bsrgh's own heart, and her servants,
who know her amiable weakness, humor
it, and verify they have their reward.
sBeholding big hlue-hottle fly buzzing g
round the window and getting pain in
its head by hitting its head on the pane.
her ladyship rings for the servant and
says:
"Julia, open the window, and let that
poor fly out"
"Blt. madame, it Is pouring rain" i
"You are so thoughtful, Julia; show
the fly Into the ante-room and let it sit
down until the shower is over; then let
it out. And, Julia, there is that black
silk dress Of mine YOU can have"
-
Dumas pere as tinancier.
One fine morning shoemaker calls
upon him 10 dun him for q 300.franc
bill.
81 haven't any money to-day" says
the author.
"No money - echoes the shoemaker
"That is all very well for you to say,
but here l am losing my time running
after you. You don't think of that"
II do," replies Dumas, "and as ! don't
wish to put you to any further loss on
my account, here are 10 francs to pay
for your time." -s, -~
The fierce creditor retires; returns
two days later; receives 10 francs for
his trouble and loss of time; retires; re
turns the third morning afterwards and
gets Is Git being rainy day, and so
on. ~.
BY punctuality and strict attention to
business the tradesman had received $50
francs from the author OF "Monte .Cr;s-
to" within the next three months, and
Dumas's boot-biil remained unpaid.
"a
Two undertakers' men are discussing
professional subjects as they leave the
cemetery.
81 could wish," saws one, "that I were
assigned to one OF the uptown diyis-
ions, where there is chance OF ming
ling in good society at the funerals OF
the rich and great"
"That's where you are mistaken" re-
plies the other pityingly 'the corpsas
are usually stout and the collins are usu
ally of oak, with, four times out of FIVE
Ileaden caskets inside. f'or real unadul
. terated comfort, give me poor con
L L