Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1881-08-31
LOCKING THE TRUNK

only dear" said Mrs. Spoopendyke,
as she rose from her knees, hot and tired
from packing, and rubbing the small of
her back as she Strengthened UP, 'Tm
all through now, and | wish you would
lock the trunk"
Certainly" replied Mr.. Spoopendyke,
the lid. cali you've to do is Just fit the
hasp in the lock and turn the key. So"
But the key didn't quite turn, and Mr..
Spoupendyke hit the basp with the side
Of his fist and tried it again.
'Don't it work?" asked Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke, watching the proceeding with con-
siderable interest.
It'll work il you'll let it alone" said
Mr.. Spoopendyke severely, and he raised
the lid, dropped it again, pounded the
hasp and wrenched at the key with all
strength, "Stand back and give me
room can't your" be growled, as he press
ed down on the cover and gave the key
| quick twists in vain effort to catch the
lock unawares
"Why don't you rest your weight on
it and let me lock it?;' asked Mrs. Spoop-
endyke, futtering around her husband
and wondering if he was thoroughly
aware that his plug hat was Immediately
under the i'd
Have you got the time to keep away
from this thing and let me work it?" de-
manded Mr.. Spoopendyke, contemplating
his wife with Spartan expression of Wis
age. 'Spoze [ can do anything with
you sitting on my elbow? If you'll 60
down cellar for a minute I'll lock this
trunk" and Mr.. Spoopendyke banged
away at the hasp and breathed hard.
But his best efforts could only turn the
key half way.
ooh! amt glad you couldn't lock
! it, exclaimed Mrs. Spoopendyke, anxi-
Gus to stay her husbands growing wrath.
II forgot to put in your walking-cane. :"
'Dod gast the canen' sputtered Mr..
Spoopendyke. "'Spose it's going TO lock
any easier with a dod-gasted walking
cane sticking out at one end? Who says
[ can't lock it?'' and he stood off and
fetched the hasp tremendous kick.
Anything else you We forgotten TO put
in?'' and he sprang on the lid and tug
ged at the key with his head thrown back
and his teeth set "Got a couple Of mir
rors you want in here? Any china
around the house that wants a ride in
this trunk? Want to put in that dod-
gasted ass on the top floor who tries to
play the fiddler and he topped off on
the floor and banged at the hasp again.
"Let me sit on it, suggested Mrs.
Spoopendyke, climbing up without wait
ing for response. "Now try it.
Mr.. Spoopendyke fumbled around and
worked at the hasp and key, but fruit
lessly.
Cant you sit any harder than that?"
he yelled, as the key stuck and would Mt
turn either way '"FraiG of breaking
the measly thing? Press down can't
ye?"
! Mrs. Spoopendyke squirmed around
! and said ''now dear and then looked
over to see how he was getting on, but
! still the lock was obdurate.
'Dod gast the measly trunk" howled
Mr.. Spoopendyke, firing the key out Of
the window and giving the trunk fare.
we'll kick. "If you want it locked yo1
get blacksmith and a steam derrick"
and MI Spoopendyke threw himself into
chair and pretended TO bury himself in
his paper.
Il don't know how we'er ever going to
get it OPEN said Mrs. Spoopendyke after
q long silence.
Get what open?" growled her hus-
band.
';The trunk. Now l remember, it's
got spring lock, and when you took
the key out it locked itself. I don't sup
pose we can ever find the KEY.
That's itp' yelled Mr.. Spoopenkyke.
''You know all about it now, Why
didn't you tell melt was a spring lock?
WHY dye keep it to yourself for?''
Il forgot whimpered Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke, ''but it will be all right I can
open it,
ooh, you can open itr' snorted Mr..
Spoopendyke. you're an opener! All
you want to be sharpened on both sides
to be an oyster knife! With dark Ian
tern and scull cap you'd make a full
set of burglars tools. Oh, yes you'll
open it! If you had a loose handle and
one corner nicked off, you'd get rich as a
screw-driver.'' and Mr.. Spoopenkyke
tore out of the house to see if he could
borrow something to pry open the unfor-
innate trunk
" That gives me time to pack the va
iise, murmured Mrs. Spoopendyke, ''and
as I've got another key to the trunk,
we'll do pretty we'll after ALL" and the
worthy lady began so jam night-shirts
and hair-oil into the bags, together with
SANDWICHES and tooth-brushes, wondering
betimes whether Mr.. Spoopendyke's silk
hat had been SO badly smashed that it
wouldn't do to go fishing in on rainy
days even if it didn't look well enough for
church.
MIRABILE DICTU.-"Your Spring Bios
som is success. [ Icertainly think its eff
fects are wonderful; all the dyspeptic
symptoms I complained of has vanished;
my wife is also enthusiastic in praise of
it; she was disfgured by blotches and
pimples on her face, and had continu-
Gus headache. She is all right now and
all unsightly ernptions have gone You