The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1881-11-29
Another Primer Lesson.

| o'hoi EiihtT LcsHtn-
The following was picked up yesterday
on Main street, in the neighborhood of the
HERALD office, and addressed to the Texas
Siftings. But We concluded to publish it
first, and then send a copy to the Siftings
This method will save two cents
This is q Book. Yes, It is New Book,
| but it is 40 Years old. See, it Has got the
Seal of State ON it, Look at the pictures
Who made them, they are so bright in their
colors2 They were borrowed from the cir
Gus bill-pOster, and are chrOmos to make
the Book SELL they crow more about
the pillow than anything else. See that
| Rabbit. His ears are bigger than
| theman's gun. He can out run candidate
for Governor. See that man IN Sunday
clothes; he is Hog and poultry tender ia
| Texas lie calls his rooster Robinson
because it "crew-so," and he calls his hog
Maud, because it would come into the
garden" Does the Book sell well? Yes
the railroads buy it by 1000 copies at the
time. Why do the Railroads buy that
Book? Uncle Daniel of the Age,
can tell you if he would
This Man with theGreenBag is a LAWYER.
How smart he looks with all his books.
They are great Books bound with sheen, to
prove anything for his shepherd clients.
Does he sell those Books? No, They sell
those who swear by them. They can show
that G and are -. How can = LAWYER
tell what the law is or what Jury or
Judge will decide, or whether his
Client will win or lose? BY tossing up a
Nickel or jack knife, Is he a Producer?
Yes, he produces an annual crop of law
suits with all kinds of brambes Does this
business pay? Yes, the Judge cln give
good dinners, and the Lawyers by-and-bye
can ride in carriages and 90 to the Legisla-
ture, The Lawyer, can cry, before a jury,
Just like Baby. Is that Lawyer in bust
ness? Yes, he belongs to the Firm OF |
Ketchum Il u Cheatem.
Here is \ policeman. He dresses in blue,
wears brass buttons and carries pistol and
baton. What does Iledo? He walks the
streets and dravs--his salary. Is He
smart MANI Yes, he is an Astronomer. He
inspects the stars every hour through the
glasses. He can See and he can hear when
he is thirsty and called on, or when little
boy or poor man gets into trouble. Is he
brave Mani Oh, yes, he is a brave man,
and all the bad boy bootblacks are afraid Of
him. The Policeman is grateful to that
rich man, who can make him Shut his eyes
and put him to sleep with a bank bill.
Who is this big Man? That is a Councilman.
the City by watching the spiggot and not
seeing the big leak at the bung hole.
What makes him step so High? lie
Is crossing the street and il is full of
Holes and mud, and he docs not
want to soil his new boots bought
with his pay from the city he loves so. See
He has fallen down. Yes, into man-trap
on the sidewalk. But he did not break his
leg like the Poor man whom it cost 800 to
get cured up, besides loss of his work. II
you want to get up a Family Tree and
know who your Relatives were, you must
run for Council man. You will be like
ribs will be all on the outside, |
What makes that Man drivc'sofast? 1t is |
a Doctor, and he must make.people believe |
he has got Lots ofbusiness on hand. Where
is he going? To see n man with u slight
Fever whom he will keep in bed warm ,
and comfortable month, and then tell how
low he was and How he brought him ont.
But what if the man dies? He ,
will say it was from the bad /
treatment Of the first Doctor,
or from weak Constitution that would not
re act, or the want of proper Nursing. Are
Doctors sociablc people. oh, yes, they
VIII visit you 8 times n day, and bring Il
doctor friend with them to consult. They
'NihNNlllC0 wv, nave obIc IuTOulS, because
they swallow Dictionary once week, and
scare you when they describe your disease.
What makes them write in Latin.
Because they are afraid You
lind out what are the virtues
Of pure Water and bread Pills.
See This Man. How tired he looks
Why does He hang his Head so? He has
been reading one of the i-Column Editc-
rails of the Dallas HERALD. He iswool-gath-
,ring in the High Tariff discussion, and
lursing the law that makes Him pay 800
or $40 suit Of wooden clothes. Now he is
thinking about County roads, City streets
Railroad centres and Independent newspa-
oers. Sc he has something in his Hand. Is
I spider WEBB No, it is map with all
.he Texas railroads with their great
Trunks coming tn Dallas. An Editor can
i've on Air and Puils and the first water
melon OF the season. But lie goes to all
he Balls and Dinings aud Festivals free.
He. goes Free TO the Theatre and on the
Railroad. He is Spare man, that is,
always spare of cash. lie is Moral man,
never drinks nor smokes except when lie is
Invited, What does he write with A
pair of Shears and Paste Pot, and he
'e-licS on these very much. Is He amiahlc?
Yes, when big, Brawny fellow is mad
about something in the paper; but he gets
'rful mad when Small man Has ANYTHING
o say against it.