The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1881-06-16
- =
HUMOROUS.
Dividing Up.

- suffered with the tJuthuc be, su
i o ia be chair vuca',d by tbr
bog, aud alter q smile ui en- .onrage.
meat begaa
=" matters doDt mend lro'iy soor
II either mutdcr her or take n,
.sDl f."
"D,mestic ,r'u lie, ! suppose =
qt"tied BUab.
"TIa.'s it, 'ir, aod I'm gettiu4
es e'at I left hone tbibking IL
um from tn, dJck, but | hap no
AZ VI yoI; aui 80 thought
L s3S sivics.
q the breil heav y.y'
"1l'-t the bed a 4al stand
heavy bread, sloppy tea, raw meat
an talf-coDS,d p ia oes, bat cao'l
uor sJo't -tiul this Internal, " hinin Z I,
ooiup'aing aud jswins around"
,'FeIlow-,raveor along the t)w.
path OF Times broad d.guage canal,
tniok | SEQ the pint. You have been
married about two years"
"Not Quite
"You are tifteon years older than
your wife."
"Yos-eighteen.'
you have q wooden leg, and she
-she-"
"Sbc hasn't, but I wish she had
Two of EN- "
"Sbe likes good clothes 7"
"Yon bet !"
"She likes the mad wbirl of soci.
ETY., sixteen dollar bonucts, reserved
seats at the opera, eight dollar boots,
iorty button kid gloves, and trains
ou her dresses !"
"She does thOt's her to dot +
exclaimed tho husband.
Aud you prefer your home, oven
ing fire, newspaper, snow apples,
game Of checkers, glass OF cider, ca,
ou the hearth, aud 81 on r.
"rbars the sort o man, l am, sir
and she h,ras o. the to death. She's
OH the trct all day and on the gaI III /
evening, and II remous,ratc she
says want 10 make tlave and a |
prisoner of her."
Don't you so along with her to the
theatre aud parties r.
Il used 10 but for the last year
she's got awful particular about my
wooden leg says the public will
th'nk ] was shot while stealing chick
ens.'
"Dces. oh 7 and you sit at home
and keep your feet warm by he cook
stove while she gallivants I"
THE same, sir, and now what
shall l do about 1T Somethiu.
has got to be did, and that right or
I'll be hanged 10 Davy Crockett if |
Iut up with il another day You
are an older man than l am, aud
you've had three wives to nv one,
and I'll do just as you say about it,"
Fellow man, you have been wrong
from the beeiuninr." slowly answer
oil Bijah, rs he lookei ou, of the
window in weary way. The mau
who marries woman only half hi.
age is a d. +. deceived friedcake-
at the start. Youth may reverence
Old age, but love isn't reverence
Youth aud old age don't like their
'ater" cooked the sams way, and the
man who says they do is u forger
Thoy don't see alike, and its a ca,
and dog life. II l was to marry
again, bald-headed as l am, should
look for Q lady wearing M. 10
( es and No. 8 shoes as an offset,
D. y"u love your wife 7"
"Well, to be honest about II. 7
dot't think either of us are dying of ,
love" !
"Then, my friend, yon go home 1
nnl have a candid talk, divide up tie
things, aud part good friends. Give
her the larger half, throw in some
small change. and SEQ that she gets 7
ho'ae safe to her mother By and =
b. yon can gu ety secure q bill of
divorce, get on some store clothes. !
and look ont for woman OF fifty.
who bus the rheumatlcs 80 that she
'an't get mad
TT ats honest, is it :"
Honest injuu. II you can't live
ieppg together don't hesitate to live
happy apart No usc in any scandal
y hard words, but divide up and call
= g bad mistake. This killing one 3
Ie's On account of domestic trouble is
III bosh."
"Tbats 81, and I'll walk straight
iome and begin the d ividiug up busi.
less. Thank yon, Bijah may yonr
cot ston Urnuiny ao N .,,,,,,J T.,