The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1881-04-02
SMALL TALK.

work. we presume, intended to he to
! conversation what the Complete Letter
Writer aims to be to correspondence. 1t
| contained hints for the use of delicate
iattery or witty repartee, suggestions of
cunning ruses and willy schemes to pro-
| iuce effect, and even introduced whole
| sentences appropriate for the dinner party
| the ballroom, the visit, or the casual
such alterations as the imagination of the
reade.' might supply or the emergency OF
the case demand. Frivolous and degrad-
| ing as was the attempt to put words into
the lips of people whose thoughts and
feelings, if they had any, were supposed
to have nothing to do with the matter,
the subject is, nevertheless. one which
troubles many persons, and those not by
any means exclusively the most frivolous
| portion of the community.
1t is true that Small Talk, if it means
nothing more than filling up idle inter
walls with vapid OF artful remarks, is a
thing to be as utterly despised as the
most profound philosopher could desire.
Small, indeed, must he the mind of one
who could deliberately sit down to COM
pose manual of it, and of those who
could be found willing to pay for and tn
study it. Indeed. the phrase, Small
ralk." has sunk so low in the scale of i'll
tellisence and sincerity. that we need
some other expression to denote that
casual conversation which geniality and
good feeling frequently demand. 1t is
comparatively easy to talk upon subjects
that deeply interest us, and with persons
IF whose sympathy We are assured; but
the power to converse nationally i'll mixed
society. or where there are but few sub
iects of mutual interest. is very much
needed. Sometimes this lack proceeds
from constitutional shyness or self-de-
probation; sometimes from an intense
concentration of thought. which prevents
the mind from working easily in any but
its accustomed channel; sometimes from
unsocal habits, but more often from the
self-consciousness that is forever concern.
ed about the impression one is making.
to the exclusion of other things. What
ever be the cause, every one who has ex-
perienced it knows how distressing it is
to feel a sudden demand made upon him
for intelligent and agreeable conversation
and to find nothing at hand at all suita-
BILE for the occasion. Frequently, i'll the
nervous and spasmodic effort to escape
from this irritating position, men and
women even of real intelligence suffer
themselves to sink into vapid common
place and frivolous compliments, and
even come at length to deem it essential
to do so, in order to maintain the courte
sy of casual intercourse. Others, with
more independence and less sensitive per-
ceptions, ignore such demands, and. re-
fuSing 70 cater to puerile taste, they
remain silent and heavy. Il burden to the
company they are in, and WEAKNESS
even to themselves.
How to steer among these rocks is a
matter by no means unworthy of consid-
Grafton. 1t ought never to be regarded
as 4 trivial thing, whether we add to or
take away from the comfort and pleasure
of those around u.s. even in small matters.
and the occasions when we do one or the
other. by oar presence and words, are so
numerous that attention to it becomes a
duty. 1t is of moment that we acquire
self-possession and ease i'll our casual in
terviews; that we say, as far as possible.
the right thing at the right time: that
we so order our conversation as to be
suitable to those we address, and to the
surrounding circumstances. But to ac-
complish this, it is by no means necessary
to drift into inane and vapid talk; to ut
ter insincere compliments and frothy re-
marks; to try to be witty: to pretend an
acquiescence that we do not entertain. or
a solritude that we do not feel. Sinceri-
ty is the first and most essential element
in all conversation. If that be absent,
though it may glitter witt: brilliant say
ings, all vitality has departed from it.
The habit so common among men in the
fashionable world Of weaving some form
Of iiattery into all their conversation with
the other sex. is one which every woman
of true feeling will resent as an imper-
Thence. showing only the low estimate
he places upon her seIf-reSpect and pow
ers of discernmeut. OF all small talk. it
is the smallest and the most contcmpti-
bic. Real esteem and regard have diff
ferent ring. and she is to be pitied as
feeble dupe who cannot distinguish be-
tween the true coin and the false.
Whatever limit sincerity imposes upon
our words, let us obey, even if it be to
silence. But that its bounds be not so
narrow as this, let us cherish an honest
interest in people and things outside of
our immediate sphere. This is the great
want of all our intercourse, the only
thing which can rescue our conversation
from the stigma which attaches to ''small
talk" Our talk is small because it comes
only from the lips; it is froth because it
is on the surface; it is commonplace be-
cause we do not care about the things We
say; they are not realities to us. 1t is
not the subject upon which We speak.
but the interest we take in it which gives
flavor to our words; Even the weather,
that much abused topic, that has been
twisted into all shapes to fill up awkward
vacuums of conversation, may be dis
cussed intellisently and agreeably, if We
are really thinking of it, and not merely
catching at it as a refuge from stupid
silence. \ lady who recently died at
the age of ninety-four, and who had been
confined to the house for many years,
was the happy recipient Of continual
visits from all who knew her. Old and
young tlocked to her side, not prompted
by sense of duty. bat eager to tell of
their own special interests, and to receive
the sympathy which always awaited
them. She had but moderate abilities,
fair Intelligence, and rather slender
means but the secret of her attractions
lay in the unfeigncd and hearty interest
which she kept up in all her friends, in
their affairs, in the events Of the day, the
welfare of her country. and the success
of worthy enterprises. Her memory,
originally good, was probably strength