Connecticut western news., 1881-09-07
THE LIME-KILN CLUB.
Brother Gardner tells us about the
 Sun-General Proceedings.

Brother Gardner tells us about the
 Sun-General Proceedings.
 'I hold here in my ham," began Brother Gardner, as the thermometer showed the usual 120 degrees in the vii cinity of the stove, "a letter from Phila- delphia axin' me if I believe wid de Rev. Jasper, of Richmond, dat de sun do move. Sartin do. I know de white folks claim dat it am de airth which am movin', while the sun stands still, but right dar' we split. Joshua was about as nigh bein' an angel as any white man will eber git, an when he ordered de sun to stan still he knew what he was talkin' bout. It would have been just as easy fur him to have commanded de airth to stan still, but he didn't do it. If Joshua didn't know his bizness de rest of us might as we'll hang up.
 ''An' now, you cull'd folkses, min what I'ze gwine to say. Doan' let de 'stronomy bizness keep you awake nights. De sun am up dar by day, an de moon an stars am up dar' by night. De Lawd put de sun dar' to thaw de ice of de back doah-step, make cucumbers grow, an fotch up the grass an de con. It didn't do any wuss when astronomy was unknown, an it wouldn't do any better if ebery family in the kentry had telescope fo' hundred feet long. De moon was hung up dar' dat folkes might see to move by night when de rent got too high; dat lost COWS could see to fin dar way home; dat folks could see to chop wood and empty bar'ls of ashes on de street; dat wimin comin' home from pray'r meetin' could avoid de nail heads stickin' up in de blanks, an fur varus odder reasons. You jist take de sun as he runs, an de moon as you fin it, an de less you worry bout 'em de mo- meat an taters you'll have in de winter. De poorest culld man I eber knowed was an ole black man down in Varginny who was always wonderin' if dey had 8 reg'lar lock on de gates of Heaven, or only latch-string. While his nayb burs war plantin', he was wonderin'; while dey war hoin', he was theorizing: while dey was reapin', he was ragged an hungry. Let de sun move or stan still let de moon be made of old silver or green cheese-let de stars be ten miles or 10,0OO,O00 miles away-keep de whitewash brush gwine an de buck saw in good order, an you'll be all right"
 The Keeper of the Sacred Relics re- ported that he had received from Sam uel Blood, of Nashville, set of wooden blocks forming puzzle called "13-14 --15," game very popular about 6, ,OOO years ago. He had already returned thanks, and sent the donor 8 cure for hydrophobia.
 Albert George Graham, of Guelph, Canada, in making application for mem- bership, stated that he was seven feet high, owned four dogs, had forty one jobs of whitewashing and winters supply of fence rails on hand. His rec- concentrations are Al, and unless the committee find that he has left his front teeth in a watermelon belonging to some one else, he may count on be- coming one of the band at no distant day.
 The Rev. Penstock presented written appeal from the wife of Kyfustus St. George, stating that her husband was confined to his bed and she hadL' a cent in the honse to get her hat retrimmed for Sunday. The Reverend backed up the appeal in a speech that brought tears to tue eyes of Gen Scott, and jammed Samuel Shin in between the window and the wood-box so hard that it took two men to pull him out.
 "Brudder Penstock, did you inwesti- gate dis case? ?" asked de President.
 CT nebber investigate, sah, when I h'ar de voice of distress"
 "Do you know what ails Brudder St.. George ?"
 "I understood dat he was seized wid chill, an de afternoon was in dar his pulse was up to fo' hundred, an he was outer his head, an talkin' bout wolves an bars"
 "Jist so--I see. Maybe I kin gin you some pints on de case. war out look in fur my old hoss de odder evenin' an I passed Brudder St. Georges cabin. He an his wife war jawin' as to which owned de dog, an ten minits later, when I returned, de dog was running fur the woods. Kyfustus was lyin' on de grass all broke up, an his wife was sittin' on de fence suckin' lemon. Arter a man has been knocked into the middle ot Jinuary wid an old base ball bat he am quite apt to have chills an talk about wild animals. I shall dismiss de appeal wid costs"
 The reward offered by the club for an. tidotes brought the follow recipes:
 Soak the feet for three successive nights in soft soap, and then leave them out on the roof of the woodshed in the sun for week.
 Knock the horns of your neighbor's COW, bake to powder, and rub the feet twice week.
 Rub your feet with buttermilk, anG then give the buttermilk to the poor.
 Hang your feet on a cast-iron hook driven into a cherry tree and smoke them for four days with cedar chips Detroit Free Press.
 A Popular Hymn.