The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1881-12-08
Getting a WIFE for the ParsOn.


Aleck Williamson, good natured,
practical farmer, is widely known about
Williamsport. Pa. He is very fond of
practical joke.
Among his neighbors was an attractive
Young widow whom he thought he ought
to show some interest in. he being firmly
of the opinion that widow of the quail
ties of this one was qualified to make
some mans life happy.
Meeting an acquaintance who was
widower and a preacher, he accosted
him:
"Parson, by Halifax, do you know
what think you want? You want
wife"
"Pshaw," laughingly responded the
reverend; Il don't want q wife, MIR. vii
hanson
Eyes, you do, though" insisted the
other. "You want a woman to look after
your house and relieve you from the dis
NAL life of widower."
Granting that oil you say is true,
Mr.. Williamson, how am to get wife?
l don't know any one whom l could get
to marry me-"
by Halifax was the ready response,
"you needn't let that little matter bother
you; there's Widow Blank, she would
marry you without any delay"
"Well, suppose you ask her, OBJ
served the lonesome shepherd.
by Halifax. III do it," declared the
volunteer matrimonial negotiator, as he
passed on his way.
When he reached home and notified
his estimable and practical wife OF the
delicate mission he was about to perform,
that lady promptly notified him not to
make fool of himself" He, however,
was not the man to abandon such an I'M
dertaking before finishing it, and he lost
no opportunity in seeking the widow
and propounding the direct inquiry:
MRS. -, will you marry Preacher"
The blushing widow answered, why,
Aleck, he wouldn't want to marry me-
"By Halifax, but he does, though
said Aleck, And he sent me to ask you
if you'll have him."
"Of course l WILL readily exclaimed
the widow.
The answer was quickly borne to the
preacher, who thereupon commissioned
Aleck to ask the widow how soon she
could be ready.
The obliging widow informed the am
bassador that she could be ready at once
and an early time was designated for the
ceremony, full re,ort of the arrange
ments being submitted to the groom
prospective.
This gentleman was satisfied with the
programme, and named a certain Justice,
whom he wished to have the ceremony
performed by.
This suggestion was vetoed, however,
by Aleck, who insisted upon engaging
a newly commissioned German Justice,
who had never oiliciated in such . Ca
pacity.
The reverend victim accepted the
amendmedt without making an appeal or
calling the yeas and nays, and the leu
tonic official was secured for the all i'm
portant occasion.
With q conscientious desire to faith
fully perform all tie duties devolving
upon him Ly virtue of his office, he
squared himself to the task. At the very
outset, however, he was hopelessly
wrecked upon the intricate forms in such
made and provided.
Luckily for the perplexed magistrate,
the groom happened to be gentleman
professional rs we'll as personal expert
ence in the performance Of the marriage
rites, and he kindly instructed the
official. who was thus enabled to COM
plete the job.
The whole proceeding was hugely en-
joyed by Aleck, who made heroic efforts
to avoid showing how immensely tickled
he was.
Upon being informed by the Parson, .
day or two after the Wedding, that he
was highly pleased with the result,
Aleck felt the happiness which always
follows the performance Of benevolent
action, and exclaimed, with ono OF his
benign chuckles: NY Halifax, ! knew
you'd Do satis6ed. Aleck always knows
what he's about, Parson. Good day"