The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1881-03-18
WEATHER TALK.
An Uncommon Piece of Advice About
Common So bject that all Men Will
Admire

Admire.
Burlington Hawkeye
Fairly on the road, man came and
sat down in front of me, and turned
around and faced me.
Gold, this morning." he SAID.
l folded my paper, and famed myself
with it vigorously moment or two be-
fore replied. Then l unbuttoned my
coat c'private to editors"-it was origin
ally three-buttoned coat, but the ext
gencies of the season, the long absence
from home, and the necessity of drop
ping something into the contribution
box every time | went 10 church, has re-
duced it to the maximum Of one), wiped
my frigid brow with my handkerchief,
and said in painting tones:
81 don't find it So"
The man looked astonished, but pres
entity he said:
Maybe you've been a ruunin'."
mo" replied, "rve been asleep for
the past two hours, i'll a sleigh"
"And We didn't feel the colds" in,
quired the man.
"Manr' said 1, in tones of astonish-
ment, "Cold, on the 9th of June?''
"JuneI' he echoed, Strengthening up.
"Are you crazy It's the LIST of January %
"Well," said, sit felt like the 9th OF
u
ats mighty fine slelghIn', all the
same" said the man.
l told him, without blush, that
had never seen the mud worse on Ohio
roads since could remember.
Where on EARTH" he asked in utter
establishment, "did you come from"
Dayton" / said.
His eyes began to creep out and look
at each other over the top of his nose.
"When? '' he asked
"ThIs morning." said, calmly, since
eight o'clock"
allow? ?" he fairly shouted
ain a one-horse Sleigh" | said
"Sakes alive:'' he shrieked Tits impns
sible. It's only eleven o'clock now, and
Dayton is fifty miles away.
Cant help it," l insisted; Il left there
little over two hours ago in a sleigh
with poor horse, drove slowly, and the
mud was up to the hubs of my wheels
all the way. 1t was warm as May. and
| haven't seen enough snow 10 make 4
one boy slide in five thousand miles,
The mans hair stood on end, and hC
got up To start TO the other end of the car
''If you amt crazy, and believe you
be-" he said, with grave caInestness
''you ere an awful liar"
"Good man." l said, Il expect | ain
but am not a fool. l may tell startling
lies, but do not talk like an ass, and
would rather be taken for Il liar or q ma
MAC than an imbecile. 1 do not come
into q car when the Thermometer marks
three degrees below zero, and tell liy
ing, breathing, intelligent, sensitive man
that 1t is cold, just as though WAS i'm
parting some information to him. | dc
not watch him drive up to the train III !
IL a
on the smooth, perfect pixies of Ohio
and then attempt to instruct, amuse, ol
startle him by telling him that tn,
sleghing is good. would rather aston
| ished man than bore him. Ii l have
nothing better to tell him than some
thing he knows already far better than
| do, my mouth is sealed, and will never
| speak. In order to astound him or start
lie him, / may have to lie to him. bu
that Is better than boring him. Yng
might as well sit down and tell mt
that twice two Is four, as to tell mt
that it is cold. You might al
well tell me that George Washing
ton is dead. as to tell me that sleigbin!
| is good. Go away, good man; 50 L
| SLEEP, / tell you il Is June; there Is IA,
snow; there is dust, and there are roses
| 1t is two hundred miles from Dayton Il
Loveland, and walked from the Noitl
| Pole this morning. Go, get thee Ia
nunnery, and when you can nIndel lou
conversation on something besides In
| United States signal service reports
come and wake me up, and hold me il
the matchless charm of your inSlructiv,
talk / know not what course other
may take, but az for me gal blast TN
man who talks to me about the weather
And straightwaY the nlan ariz an,
got him unto the after wood box, for IL
was sore astonished. And a fell INTO
slumber, the forgotten dreams OF whicl
contained more real valuable informs
tion than that man ever did or ever vii
know, heard him opening converse
tion with the tactiturn brakeman, BIZ n
marking:
Gold, this mornin'!,'