South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1881-07-15

eP|hu 'uc uay, 10 httIe Edltn: Are
yon glad TO see me again, Edith 2 f..
dith: 'Yesm'm, and mammals glad
tooe Mrs. Smith: is she p Edith
'1esm'm; che said she hope you'd
come to-day, and have it over with
Mamma bushes scarlet, but Mrs.
Smith simply smiles.
a lovers pun: Maggie. dear. if |
should attempt to spell Cupid why
could | not get beyond the first syl-
liable z Maggie gave it up, where's
upon William said: Because when
come to u, Of course, | cannot 90
further Maggie said she thought that
was the incest conundrum She had
ever heard
why, Mr.. r., said tall youth to
little person, who was in company
with half a dozen huge men, Il pro.
test you are so very small / did rot
see you before very likely repli-
ed the little gentleman Il am like
slXpenco among six copper pennies
not easily perceived, but worth the
whole Of them
An old Story.-When Davy Crock
EFT was III Washington he was one day
sitting in hotel toasting his shins
when Senator from Massachusetts
entered.
Approaching the old frontiersman,
the latter said
Crockett, a large procession of your
constituents are marching up the street
You ought to go out and greet Them
Crockett hurriedly arose and went
out upon the hotel steps, when a large
drove of mules passing by caught his
eye. He quietly watched them until
the last one had passed, and then re-
turned to his seat by the stove. The
Massachusetts, Senator was still there,
and as the redoubtable Davy drop,
ped into his chair, asked:
well, did you see your friends p
'Oh, yes, was the response. They
look remarkably well, too
did you ascertain their destina-
tion?'
Certainly, sir
And where are they going in such
q solid body p
Crockett turned to the Senator
with a quiet, calm expression, and
then repliedt:
The blamed fools are all going
down to Massachusetts to teach school,
And they gazed a moment into
each others faces and sadly walked
up to exercise the bar'keeper awhile.
Notis.-De copardnership hereto.
10 resisting betwiXt me and Nose
Skinner Is hereby resolved. Dem
what ows de firm will settle wild me
and dem what de firm ow will settle
wild Nose.
q would steal myself said Sambo
Jumbo, If l was not afraid oh de
debble.'
We'll, 1 believe you would said
Dick, for you are n bad niger any
how; and if you amt watched YOU
will steal, debble or no debble.'
An India rubber baby, that soueals
like human infant, has been invent
ed. We don't know whether this fills
long felt want or not but when it
comes to falling out of the third-storv
window it certainly possesses one
great advantage over the flesh and
blood article.
a certain yourg person lately cut
his finger with q pen knife, and ran
IN alarm to W ell-knOwn surgeon.
who Is more celebrated for his skill
than gentleness of manner. The sur,
geon looked at the finger, and then
calling a servant, told him to run and
bring plaster 4; run run make all
possible haste cried he.
ooh, heavens ? exclaimed the pa-
tent, III trembling voice, SIS the dan
ger 50 great 2
yes answered the surgeon, 'the
danger is very great; for if he does
not run very fast, the wound will heal
before | can put on the plaster.
What She Called Him.-A well,
known cducationalist vouches for the
truth of the following: A teacher
in lower grade III one of our public
schools received new pupil the 9th.
er day-a little miss Of six or seven
years, named, say, Matte Brown.
After taking her name for the school
rolls according to custom, the teacher
said:
What is yourpapa's name, Matte"
Mr. Brown
Yes, but what is his first name?
Don't know-his name is just Mr..
Brown
Yes, ycs-I kuow'-then as q
bright idea struck her, what does
your mamma call him 2?
oh | know what Won mean NOW .