New-York tribune., 1881-12-14
TIE RHougo.cEpHALLIc DErEycE.

! IL ought to be well understood what manner
! of men are hereafter to bc ut liberty to commit
murder if they desire to do so. T.. G. Spitzka,
! Md. of New York, a witness in the Guitcau
case has enlightened us upon that poiut. Be
fore striking their fatal blows, or firing their
! homicIda pistols, they need not be examined
as to the eyes by an ophthalmoscopc, nor as to
! their pusatioDs by sphygmograph, because
! DR.. Spizka considers the result Of investigation
! by these instruments rs FIR from decisive.
| What the intending murderer should take an
! opinion on is the expression Of his face He
| must strengthen the diagnosis which is to save
! him from the galiows by taking advice upon
every available point. Upon the other hand,
| the doctor who is to give him his invaluable
! certificate must first insist that his patient
! secure the publication of his own portrait in
! an illustrated newspaper. This portrait the
doctor will inspect. II Wa, from such portrait
of Guitcau that the great DR.. Sptzia made up
! his mind. lie knew from the shape OF the
! mans head, from the defective inncrvatlon
of the facial muscles" from the assymctry of
the face iIom the pronounced deviation of
the tongue to the LETT that Guiteau was one of
| those persons, fortunately ut present not
numerous, who are privileged TO commit
murder. II YOU can procure II certificate from
any crauiologist that the two sides of your brain
are not equal, buy revolver and shoot your
enemy at once If the end of your tongue de-
viatcs onc-half or thrce-quartcrs of an inch
from the medium line, you are all right. If
YOU have "a peculiar ascent of the back part
of the head, rs if it were cut OF suddenly, and
a sort of kccl-likc prolongation in the middle
a. 4. Il. IL Z
head" YOU are one of the rhombo-ccphallics'
IA the doctors call them and can do just what
YOU please with lmpunity II YOU are indicted
and arraigncd, all yOu will have TO do is to
plead rhombo ccphallIc.' Inc DStrict-N-
torncy will quail ,ad quash the indictment ut
once.
Whoever has the luck to have mean cN
preston Of face can snap ll- fingers ut the
Courts and bc found Not Guilty of any
crime which he plcascs TO ComAit, Should nc
unfortunately be convicted, when the Court
asks if he has any reason to give why sentence
of death should not be passed upon him, all hc
viii have 10 utter is rhombo ccphallic, Judge
and the Judge will ut once say: "Take that
man out, give him drink, aud let him go"
There are no dOutt good many people in the
Tombs to-day who heartily wish that they
were "rhombo cephallic." They should send
for Dr. Spitzka. He will give them certili-
cate of rhombo-ccphallical He will find
safety for them in their eyes and noses. The
shape of their skulls shall prove their saliva
tion. As science advances, criminal law will
bc entirely changed and Heaven alone knows
what will become of people with properly
shaped heads and the correct facial angle, when
the rhombo-cephaloids are recognized as char
tered murderers, their craniums so many licenses
TO indulge in homicide, and their facial muscles
n recognized attcstaton of their moral irrespon-
sibilly. The congcnital monsrOstics will
have everything their own way.
What shall we do with thcmP DR.. Spitzka
does not, with all his science, seem to have re-
mcmbercd that if he creates "A large number of
moral monstrOsites, and as good as lets them
loose upon society, he will put the people who
have not the Ill-luck to be rhOmbO-ce cephallOidic
upon self-dcfence. IL he turns a considerable
portion of the human race into tigers and
leopards and lions and rattlesnakes, if he re-
duces society to a jungle, there is nothing for
those who possess common sense and wish to
save their lives to do but to buy guns and cul-
tivate the art and mystery of craftsmanship.
Is this to be the outcome of the Guiteau trial