Connecticut western news., 1881-07-06
THE LIME.KILN CLUB.
A Singular "Cueincidence"-A Vote
 of Confidence, Etc.
From the De roit Free Press1.

or COnhQence, ECC. From the De: roit Free Press].
 "Doorin' de pas week." said the President, as the dust settled down a little, "I have received scores of letters axin' me if I am de Gardner who has lately been 'leeted President of Liberla. I desire to say right heah dat am not de pusson. It am simply cuencidence of names." :.... ... ,,,l. ..... .,
 Cueinc1dence2" queried the Rev. Penstock, as the President paused.
 !" Yes, sah, cueincidence, sah !' '' q. :.
 "I-I begs your pawdon, sah, but am -" Z.
 "Brudder Penstock," said the old man, in very solemn tones, "de penalty fur interruptin' dis Char when he am talkin' am fine of six hundred dollars. You have bin guilty of dis offence mo dan twenty times, an muffin but my re- spect fur your cloth has prevented de enforcement of dat penalty"
 "But I desired to k'rect de language of de Char. De Char said cueinci- dence." '.* 31. a.:a's t.s 7.3..-
 "K'rect de language of dis Char 1! What has language got to do wid our purceedins heah Sartinly I said it was cueinciderce of names. What am wrong about dat? Doan' we hear of dem in ebery ishue of de papers 1? Cant we fin dem on ebery street co'ner ?" ;. ... .... .,
 "Yes, sir /; but" ... ~ .<.
 "Brudder Penstock, sot down-sot down wid all your might Do you 'spose de President of dis club has stood still an let de world move away from him since he was 'lected? Not much, sah 1 am free to acknowledge dat sich words as 'carniverous an 'capilli'ay , stretched out rod long in my eyes fo' y'ars ago, but whar' am dey now !? Why, sah, could sit down wid you in i de mawnin' an spend de hull day on sich words as 'contemporaneously, Unanimously and authenticity an not sweat h'ar. Doan' emagiue, sah, dat you has got all de eadicashun in de kentry. Your teef look white, an you keep yer ha'r we'll fled, but de calami- tous infringement artistically portrayed towards de indefatigable sequestration may have carboniferous understand ing!"
 Penstock wilted. In twenty-one sec- onds he lost seven pounds of fat and all his confidence, and it will be long tina before he recovers from the ava lanche. Cheers greeted the Presidents grand ti,ais, and some one took advan- tage of the excitement to hit the sleep ing Elder Toots full in the mouth with musty banana. -...
 VOTE OF CONFIDENCE. -
 "Am Brudder Declaration Rundel in de hall ?" queried the President, as he softly arose. ..a
 The brother was there, and he prompt ly stepped to the front.
 "Brudder Rundel," continued the President, ''I has bin informed dat your wife has had you tooken up by de po- lice, an dat you am charged wid refusin' to purvide fur her wants. Kin yon gin de club any light on dis subjeck?"
 ''I shall be glad of de chance," was the reply. "When I married dat wo- man, ten y'ars ago, she believed in dreams. If she dreamed of seein' a white hoss I had to git my own meals nex' day or go hungry. If she dreamed of rats she would go an git drunk. If she dreamed of hein' on de water she would go over to Canada an stay fur a hull week. I put up wid all dis, an bimeby she got so dat she believed in fortin- tellin'. She had her fortin told wheneber she could git dollar, an ii I didn't han ober de money she would pawn some ob de furnichure. A few days ago fortin-teller told her dat she was bon for great lady, an when got home she had traded off my Sunday coat fur dollar set of jewelry, an had gone out to take her first pianer lesson. den made up my mind it was time to act, an I left de house fur good."
 Brother Gardner was seen to draw down his left eye in the direction O Pickles Smith, and that gent 'eman i'm mediately arose and offered the follow ing:
 Resosved, Dat dis club not only ha dc fullest confidence in Brudder Decla ration Rundel, but advises him to g ) home an smash de furniture an let hi wife roost on de fence while playin l grand lady,"
 The resolution was promptly adopted f and over three quarts of peanuts wer bestowed upon the brother as furthe !, testimonials of confidence and esteem g ANOTHER GARDNER.
 u The Secretary then announced tn 8 folio wing:
 : GEORGETOWN, ILL, June 20, '81. if DEAR BROTHER GARDNER-Recognil f. ing the fact that the club of which yo are President is perfectly kiln, ,..and bt J ing a brother gardener myself, writ ]. to you to learn the name of Sister Gal " dner; also to inquire if she will mak 1T an appropriate appropriation in case E. name a daughter for her. Being a yer # poor (excuse for a) man and unable leave my children Gas long as they SUI '- port mel anything but name and fe
 epidemics, am axnious they shall hay
 royal titles 1n the absence of other il h centives to greatness. An early ( n sooner reply will greatly oblige II Your friend,
 T. ASPARAGUS THOMPSON. d "De name of my ole woman, gibe " sixty-one years ago." replied Broth' m Gardner, "am Clandelia Isabella Prair ia Flower wid Gardner at de eand of it. .> doan' s'pose she'd hey de least obiec