The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1881-02-20
WIT AND HUMoR

The hen of the kitchen-The dinner
bell.
Parlor matches Counting in the
drawing-room.
Ought q woman to kiss a tobacco
ehewerP Yes. if she chews.
A Utah wedding paragraph says .'the
bride was logged out in white gauze."
Darling. this potato is only half.
DONE Then eat the done half.
oye."-Puck.
Little Carrie G. said she liked sea-
bathing, .'only her mouth leaked and
let in the salt water"
In the first transports of delight the
happy father rushed into the room, ex-
claiming. "rye got a son; it's a boy"
Mistressz.Bridget. didn't you near
me callP' Bridget-.Yis. mum; but
ye towld me the other day niver to an
swer 20 back-and l didn't"
A young lady was asked recently
which. she preferred of two brothers,
She responded: When / am with Ell
Their of them, l prefer the other"
isn't that your friend. Nine. s., who
is dancing thereP" yes" That's a
frightfuily ill-made dress she has on"
Yes. but if it wasn't it wouldn't fit
her."
'f you will consent to my marriage
with your daughter she will be treated
rs an angel" THAT is" was the mat
ter-of-fact reply, ssin a short time she
would not have anything to wear"
Magistrate-ssYou are charged with
having emptied n basin of water over
the plaintiff" Irishwoman = s.Sure,
yer honor, ye must forgive me; in the
dark l took the gentleman for my hus-
band"
To calculate the entire cost of q trip
to the top Of Mount Washington you
have only to summit up, remarks a wit
ty individual. We presume, however,
it would answer the same purpose to
foot it up.
A repeater tried to vote for a dead
i in San Francisco, and a little Irish
rlan objected. son what groundP'
said the Judge. Because, begorra,"
laid Pat, 1.-THE man died in the Fourth
yard. and We are after voting him in
t,,5 Third"
1t is said that the scorpion when sur
rounded by a circuit of fire, turns and
stings itself to death. Probably it feels
something like the young man after he
is Tilted, and whose only ambition is to
get out under the silent stars and kick
himself owe a fence"
An exchange has an article on the
'aCuriosities of Courtship." Ono of
the curiosities of courtship, which the
author forgot to mention, is when the
girls father shakes you by the hand and
says he is glad to see you. 1t is curious
because it rarely happens.
The worst cut up man of the hour,
according to the Cleveland Voice, is
that Western reporter who, in describ-
ing the appearance of the belle of the
town at local party, intended to say
that she looked du fat, but, of course,
the types had to get it "all feetr'
A man noted for the non-payment Of
his bills, remarking that he ..sprang
from Mother Earth" n bystander said:
If that's so, you arc a disgrace to your
maternal ancestor" How SOP" in
quired the ~impecunious man. BE
cause she always settles in the spring,
and you never SETTLE" was the reply.
II wish / was a star" he said, smil-
ing. II would rather you were a COM
Ell, u Salu ureamlly. Ills heart beat
unanimously. "And whyP" he asked
tenderly. .'Oh," she said, with a brood
ing earnestness that fell upon his soul
like a bare foot upon q cold oilcloth,
because then you would come round
only once every 1880 years."
At a school some time since q boy
was reciting q poem referring to some
ancient mariner who insists upon living
by the seaside because he cannot dwell
beyond old oceans roar; but unfortun-
ately. "grim palsy holds him to his
bed" 'What is grim palsy?" cried
the schoolmaster. i~nterrupting the boy.
Grim palsy, sir? please, sir, it's his
wife. SIR" answered the boy.