The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1881-12-05

person. Sometimes he Has ten thousand EN-
on the String, but they are always his Dupes
If you are Printer. DO not Be Blacksmith
or you will get Fired.
The Stove is Red Hot. Run, Ella and get
the Castor and put some Red Pepper on the
Stove. Then when Mamma comes in, She
will be Red Hot too.
See the Fish The Fish is Trout and
Breathes through his Ears. He lives in the
Brook and May be if you try you can Cato
him. ANY little Boy who catches so many
Measles ought to be Able to Catch one little
Fish. The Trout weighs four Ounces, but
you can say he Weighs four Pounds. Do not
call him Speckled Beauty or you will be
Shot, Eat Him, Head, Tail, inwards and All,
and get little Bone in your Throat you
Can.
This is a Diamond Pin. The Editor won 1t
at Church Fair. There were Ten Chances
at Ten Cents a Chance. The Editor Mort
gagged his Paper and Took one Chance The
Pin is worth seven Hundred Dollars. Editors
like Diamonds. Sometimes they Wear them
in their Shirts, but Generally in their Minds.
Who Put the Salt in the Sugar Bowl? Nam
ma is Anxious to Find Out Willie is Busy
looking Out of the Window. Can you Guess
what he is Thinking about? Perhaps he is
Wondering what Mamma will Give him be-
fore he Goes to Bed without his Supper. II
we were Willie we would Feel Safer with
Latin Grammar in the Seat of our Pants.
Who is this Ferocious looking Man? He is
Foreman in Printing office. He gets Paid
for Throwing Men Down Stairs when they
Come to Lick the Editor, and for Printing
wrong Dates at the Head of the Paper. He can
Pi more Type in Fifteen Minutes than Seven
Printers can Set up in Two weeks. He loves
to ask the Editor for Copy. Ii it were not for
Him, the Paper would Look pretty Well every
Morning. Everything would be Fat aud None
of the Live Ads would be Left Out.
The Dramatic Critic is asleep. The play
Does not Interest Him. He will give it Thun-
der in the Paper. The Actors will be sorry
when they read the Paper because it will say
they are not Artists. After the Play, the Critic
will go to the Variety Show. viii he Sleep
there? No, he will Not. The lady in the
Short Dress and Pink Tights will Buy six
Copies of the Paper in the Morning because
the Critic will say she is an A fist. 1t is very
Comfortable to be an Artist when there are
critics in the Neighborhood
The Frog is sitting ON the Log He is waiting
for Fly to come Along. He has Business
with the Fly. While he is Waiting let us
Have some Fun with Him. Put a Lighted Fire
cracker in his Mouth. Where is the Frog now?
Why. there He is in the Water with his Ears
blown out. Why does he not Come back to
the Log? Perhaps he has Forgotten all about
the Fly
Mamma has gone out of the Room and Left
little Maggie in Bed all alone. The Gas is
Burning and Maggie cannot go to Sleep. What
shall she Do? She should Crawl out of Bed
go to the Bureau and Blow out the Gas. Then
she can go to sleep like Good Little Girl
That is what you Would do, is it not, Dear
Little children?
What Delightful Mud Hole! 1t is quite
deep and inviting. How Cool and Pleasant it
must be in the Mud Hole. Good little Boys
and Girls can Play in the Mud Hole and Make
Lots of Nice Patty Cakes. Tell the Baby to
come, too, and then You can Put Mud in his
Ears and he will Splash the pretty Black Wa
ter all over Suse'S new Frock.
Here we have Joke and Man. The Joke
is very Old. 1t is Bald and Toothless. 1t must
| Be about one Thousand years Old. The Man
wears Big Diamond and Shiny plug Hat.
He is Negro Minstrel. Go and give the Old
Old Joke to him and he will Take care of it
very Tenderly. Ii is his Business. He gets
Forty dollars week for it.
The Old Man is Blind and cannot see. He
Holds his Hat in his Hand and there is a
Dime in the Hat. Go up quietly and Take
the Dime out of the Hat. The Man cannot
See you. Next Sunday You can put the Dime
IN the Sabbath School box and the Teacher
will Praise you. Your Papa will put some
Money in the Contribution box, too. He will
put More in than You do. But his Opportu-
mites for Robbing are Better than yours.