, 1881-05-21
~geex THE CRADLE. JOHN
The Way In which He ala IA H,Ppy
Benesfics'. Lsfe.

For short we viii cali him Sirnpkins He
lives in the eastern portion Of the city, and
weat tc=.dling home few nights since. long
after the time when well regulated families
hal partaken of their evening repast, in that
state Of blissf1l uncer,aiaty ia which maa
'Forgets his cares and debts
And minds his grisf no more"
0ccasioned by tarrying too long at the
brewery. aud. rs he hIrricd along as bpst he
could, he chucklsd to himself and s5lIo-
quized 'Guess I'm all right this time,
perfectly sober, ahead Of time, and ali that
SORT OF thing. Got everything she sent for,
to. 4" slappiug his pockets cne after another.
then sud iehly stopping.
"BY THUNDER,
forgot the meat, hut guess Chris kaows
we want some She'll be awful mad len,
me see. / know, Ill tell her the cattle al
all froze up this winter, amt no more left.
and there amt no more meat in the shop.
then TT smile and say: Ny DEAR tiere's
nothing like being 'fectionate you know"
In. full Of this loyabie Invention, he opposed
he door and walked in. Mrs. 5. sat th,re
with al ominous frown darkening her lace:
a storm was evidently brewing, AMI n re-
cognzed the signs with increasing tre..ida-
,iou. bat putting on a simpernG smile he
raili d his failing courage and SAID: Good
~ mn IN dear: amt | a good f.llogy T.
come home So early, Got everything too,
ny pet. bu; the meat-caltle all de.d-
frOze l dea'h-
AWFUL COLD WINTER
supper rea1yt' This Is a pretty time Of
n;ght To be coming around for supper, aud
irunk-os usual you'l! get nothing to "a:
IN this house tonight, | can tell you. you
brute. Where's ths paregoric | told yoa t.
get ior the baby; Don't you hear him cry
lns:" .'>cuse me my love" "NoIwrn't
excuse you; 20 up stairs and rock the baby,
and Ill 60 after it myself, you horrii thing.
S.mI sin= stumbled up stars AMI, sitting
d,,n b. the cradle, b gan to rock AMI sing
s.a-ghes If songs, tina, are not fouud in
u
ns the performance By short maps between
tures. until rolseI i.Y the CRYING o! the
clild, he would start up and repeat the pro-
arliniue. During one OF his somnolent pr
Iuds ms wife cam. mp and took the baby
d 'wu stars, but SinpkIis, oblvi3us of the
lat kept cn
SINGING and ROCKING.
arI rocking furiously and singing his very
best 20 the in enSe satisfaction of Mrs. Simp-
kms, who ike most wo.aen enjoyed little
sweet revenge. After the performance had
c ntlnu-d for an hour or more and she
,hoaght II. had been punished sufficiently,
She went tn the foot oi the stairs and baw led
ont ''Y"u, Simplins, you've made dunce
Of Yourself long enough, You've been sit
TN. there locking an empty cradle FIR r..ore
than two hours, AMI all the neighbors are
laughing at y,u. You had hettcr quit awhile
and 20 10 bri yen durned fool" He raised
ND AMI rubhi his ewes Looked around and
rctortel: ''SpOse didn't know that al! the
time? | les thought Ia do some hing to
please you. and d'd it On purpose" But
SImpkins j, st'l little sore on the subject.
and don't like to have anything said about
cradles. The city Z iitor of the STATESMAN
interviewed him on the subject and the re-
suit was a yearly subscription to the Daily
and deIicious cigar The truth is, Simn-
kIns is not exactly his name, but our mill
t,ry here viii never be giyen away by the
STATESMAN.