Litchfield enquirer., 1881-07-07
CLIPPINGS.

If bee attempts to sting you, hit him with shingle-make bee flat of him. Maud s. was named for Detroit girl Maybe that is why she is SO fast.
 A Pennsylvania man has been found who had never heard of Conk ling. Some folks have dead loads of tuck. .e s How to prevent snoring-go to bed at half past 12 o'clock and get up at thirty minutes before 1.
 Heorskirts are coming into fashion again. This will be good news for Jeff Davls.
 Notice at the door of a >ready-made clothing establishment in one of the poorer quarters of Paris: Do not go somewhere else to be rob- bed: walk in here" T% ' fF T~ 2 Young man, beware of stocks and by the way it is equally essential that you beware of stockings We don't mean by this that you should sgo barefoot" 7 AS8 <S
 "Papa, saw young sparrow fall out of it's nest this morning. "Weu, what of it, my son ?" ''Why, don't think the Lord could have noted it's fall, because the cat got it."
 ''We see no other way to get along with the United States but to conquer and annex her," observes the Mexico City Times. Dear me, but that's bad When do you begin
 No more comets are wanted A number of wives report that thelr husbands came home last night in terribly bewildered, condition and stated that it was the effects of looking at the comet.
 They were at a dinner party, and he remark. ed he supposed she was fond of ethnology.7 She said she was, but she was not very well, frtd hor fo nx,fh dessert but oranges. @ 3 @~ S
 Ellington says the present style oi gentle mems straw hats is quite taultY. The hats have no attic, and the first thing man knows when he puts one on, his head goes clear up to the roof.
 One of the city's most accomplished piano players and teachers was visited by an appli. cant for instruction the other day who said she had already ''gone as far as archipe lagoes but would like ts be advanced" VI ''Matrimony. young man, remarked old Metaphysics, ''Matrimony is an arrangement whereby woman strives to swamp the giant intellect of a man by insisting that he shall go Shopping" with her at least twice 8 week and the result is she swamps his pocket book.
 Oh, around my heart you twine,
 Baby mine baby minel
 And at times you're just divine,
 Baby mine!
 But to walk you all the night, g
 While the fierce mosquitoes bite,
 And you bawl till broad daylight. -A <.S
 Makes me darn that ,oth of thine,
 Baby mine, baby mine!
 Makes me darn that tooth of thne
 Baby mine! 3..s.r@
 FROM THE DANBURY NEWS:
 The corn in Plymouth is SO poor that the crows have taken o-the potatoes.. .a-essss ~. Rev. Mir Wilkins, of Newtown. heats his study with hundred, year old stove, and puts his feet on a marble bracket made from a cornice taken from the palace of the Cp- sars.
 In two hours of Sunday morning Bridge port man invented a machine for whose pat ent he wasoffered $5,000.by another Bridge port man. This may not appear to be much of lie in Bridgeport. but to outsiders it looks colossal. ee. av es9. T An ink peddler spilled some ink on the handsome carpet in New Haven law office. He immediately went out and ordered sent in the office an equally valuable carpet. This was very unexpected to the lawyer So, also. were the bill and the disappearance of tue peddler. :. At an auction of old furniture in Cornwall the handling of an old carpet which had been seasoned with cayenne pepper to protect it against moths, caused a tremendous amount of sneezlrg The auctioneer had a spasm tbat jolted of his hat. a new silky, and on af- tempting to recover it he was taken again. and stepped on 1t with his foot, breakinginc the crown. s&tn t4fs sfT ofe7