The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1881-12-22
HUMOROUS.

HUMOROUS.
ION the safe sde-the handle to hre'
1roof-TNew York News.
WHY didn't Adam plead insanity when
he ate the Baldwin?-IPucS.
A man of marked character-the tattooed
south Sea lslander,-[New YORK sun
A hill presented is like task completed,
because il is done.-[Wit and Wisdom.
Crsar was lust as bitter as the Gaul he
commercially. y. sun
The man who discovers the North Fole
will probably be a Chilian,-l Boston GLOBE
indians, says an exchange, are dis
,inCuished for their reserve" And, we
nav add. extinguished for their reserVa-
tion.-[Cleveland Leader
Some men are born poor, others achieve
poverty, and legion more start news
ppancrs and live on csrdwood and PROMISES
tSpringiield Sunday News
aAb. doctor. back from the. Adriondscks?
What luck did you haVet NO luck,
growied the doctor 81 was there for q week
and never killed thing.
They nut in evidence Of Guiteau' s insan-
ity that he wan ed to buy tine Chleago lhter-
OCEAN Scoyille is proving himself an able
lawyer-[Boston Post.
A party OF San Juan ranchers made bon
fire Of an Apache Indian, and the Coroner's
iury returned verdict OF overcome ny
heat ."-[Salt Lake Tribune.
"Why do Indians gst drunk? asks the
pomnaronce Worker. Because they drink
more whisky than they are sauged for. ASK
MS hard one.--[Burlington Hawksye'
The President should at least have living
mon in his Cabinet He might as well go
to the ruins Of Troy for Cabinet officers as
70 take up Boutwell, and Howe.--loourier-
Journal.
There is an old adage that ifenough rope
ia given to fool he will hang himself WIN
it. but it appears that ever since the world
besan there has been scarcely Vi rope
-fCourier Journal.
A Troy poet makes ''mementoes IRVINE
with my ten toes Such poetry sno nov,
be V-toed No matter now many leet
line may have, ten toes Is 'oo ihuo'''
II Norristown Herald
A Northern paper speaks OF young
farmer who ran rapidly through ms prop
ortvr His property was an open lot: lie
Uoyn a red shirt, and a mad bull was in the
wake of the young farmCr.-LNew Orleans
Picayune.
II is asserted that Mr.. Gladstone has, at
,ario,ls periods of his career, taken. exactly
onnosite sides on every public question that
bas divided the public mind. William, 1t
arnaors has something of the American
statesman in him.-[Courier-Journal'
Annie Dickinson has read about the ar,
ra.t If little Corinne's adopted mother, and
She hesitates about attempting TO pay III
Nav YORK for fear that she may be pre-
vente6 Inv the Society for the Prevention OF
Cruelty 10 Children.-[New Orleans flca-
yune. -,
Advice to wives: Man is very much IKE
an egg; keep him in hot water "a anu ne NJ Is
bound to become hardenen'Tloiiro n'i',
Herald. Man is very much IKE an egg;
Yes moor man. he carries his yolk around
with him.--fNew York Commercial Adver-
tiser.
"What? Seven dollars for this, why,
YOU only charged me SOU LOT .hat lin NV,
large oil piece on the wall there' urea'
artist. "Exactly so. That niue p IN, ~
your hand is done in WATERFOWL my
come high on account oil the reoeh'
drOuth."
A Boston man at theatre asked
Gainesborough hat with glrl III III whet .l',
she would not allow him TO- nave = inolh iiaI
tary view of the stage. Inc Siri [ePlie,,'
that II was the only hut she mao; az ~,
lautly offered to contribute nan ooii"' w.
ward q new one.
Said Brown who had just returned from
visit outside between acts, ~, uarilns, ,
had such fright! 1t almost to9A NY
breath away" "Mercy' eXGialmeu MI MT
B.. turaing her face away, wish ~ i,'',i
John" And John looked sheeplsn o o,,tt,
as lie slyly inserted Glove IN MS ii'u'"'