Knoxville daily chronicle. [volume] (Knoxville, Tenn.) 1870-1882, 1881-08-21
sPoopENDYKE AS A SPORTSMAN.
An Exhibition of His Skill With an I'm
proved Breech-Loader
Brooklyn Eagl'

AN IxhlDlt1On OF His SIKH With an I'm
proved Breech-Loadsr
Brooklyn Eagle
Say, my DEAR" said Mr.. Spoopendyke
as he drew gun from the case and eyed i
critically, - want you to wake me up earl,
in the morning. Pm going shooting"
Isn't that too sweet" calculated Mrs
Spoopendyke. IN wear my new dres
and my Saratoga waves. Where do W,
co."
"Pm going down on the island, ant
you'll probably go as far as the front door,
grunted Mr.. Spoopendyke. Women dom
so shooting. It's only men. All you've
got to do is to wake me up and get break
fast. When l come home we'll have som,
BIRDS
Won't that be nice?" chimed Mrs
Spoopendyke. "Can you catch birds will
that thing" and Mrs. Spoopendyke fiut
tered the improved breech- loading shotgun
firmly impressed with the idea that it wa.
some kind of a trap.
Il can kill 'em with this" explained Mr.
Spoopendyke. ''This is gun, my dear
it isn't a nest with three speckled eggs in it
nor is it barn with hole in the roof
You stick the cartridge in here and pull
this finger piece, and down comes your birt
every time"
Well, isn't that the greatest thing!
suppose if you don't want partridge YOU
can stick duck Or turkey in that end, too
| or fish or lobster. and bring it down jus
as quick"
''Yes, or you can stick house or a corn
| field, or a dod gasted female idiot i'll Their,
| too, if you want to =" snorted MIR. Spoop
endyke. "Who said anything about a par
fridge? It's cartridge that goes in there .
oh" CALCULATED Mrs. spoopendyke
| rather crestfallen. Il see now Wher,
does the bird goo"
He goes to night school, if he hasn'
| got any more sense than you have" snortet
Mr.. Spoopendyke. Look here, now, ant
| I'll show you how it works, and Mr.. Spoop
endyke, whose ideas of a gun were abou
as vague as those of his wife, inserted tn
cartridge about half way in the muzzle end
and cautiously cooked the weapon.
! " And when the bird sees that. he come
and pecks at it. Isn't that the funniest =
and Mrs. Spoopendyke clapped her hand
in the enjoyment of her discovery "Thel
you put out your hand and catch him."
You've struck :" howled Mr. Spoop
endyke, who had the hammer on the hal
cock. and was yainly pulling at the trigger
| to get 1t down" That's the idea AL
you need is four feathers and Il gas bill t.
be martingale. with your notions, yol
only want new stock and a steam tri,
hammer TO be a needle gun, Don't yol
know the dod gasted thing has got to go of
before you get a bird. You shoot tn
birds, you don't wait for 'em to shoot you y
AT home, we used to always chop thei
heads off with an axe" faltered Mrs. Spoop
endyke
so would l if was going after measl,
old hens" retorted Mr.. Spoopendyke, VIII
had menaged to uncock the continuance
"but when go for yellow birds and spar
rows / go like sportsman. While III
waiting for Bird continued Mr.. Spoop
endyke, adjusting the cartridge at tn
breech, 81 put the load in here for safety
And when see bird | aim and fire."
Bang! went the gun, knocking the tai
feathers out of an eight day clock and pillow
ing foot furrow in the WALL perforating tn
dykes plug hat
Goodness gracious" squeaked Mrs
Spoopendyke. "Oh, my"
Mr.. Spoopendyke gathered himself an,
contemplated the damage.
why couldn't We keep still ~ h
shrieked. "Whatd We want to disturb m
aim for and make me let it off? Think
can hold back charge of powder and
pound of shot while a measly woman
soaring it through a gun barrel 2"
eff that had been a bird, how nicely yo
would have shot it - suggested Mrs. Spoop
! Ill III,
aim at a bird, you'd catch him sure ~
cob. you know what could do Wit
your information about gunnery you nee
only wad III your mouth, a kick like
mule to be mountain howitzer. If ] ha
your intelligence on sporting subjects, L
hire out for a shot tower Don't you knoH
you've spoiled the dod gasted gum" An
| Mr. SpoOpendyke, anxious for some excus
to take it back to his friend Spacklewattlt
who loaned it to him, held it out and eye
his wife sternly. you've ruined tha
gun" he continued, solemnly g 1t won
ever 60 off again
Never mind dear" consoled Mr..
Spoopendyke. "It's been off enough an
I'd Just as lief have some CLAIMS as birds"
1t won't ever go off again." repeate
Mr.. Spoopendyke, as he climed into hi
couch 'That is a ruined gun" and b
turned his face to the wall.
Mrs. Spoopendyke slowly disrobed, ha,
ing first turned a stream of water into tn
gun from the faucet. and betook her to res
at may not go off again." she thought
"but if it does the neighbors will think th
water main has burst" with which refe,
ton she began to pat the ear of Mr.. Spoor
endyke, who turned over like an earthquak
and wanted to know if she thought she ha
not done enough mischief without lammin
him like dod gasted blacksmith