The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1881-06-14
Seuse and snoqsense.

not only every newspaper, but also every
novel.
"Will the coming man AyP" He
probably will when the coming woman
gets after him.
I When Young man wants to protect
a young lady he naturally puts bis ar
NOR round her.
There being warm weather, it is about
time to discover that the ice crop was
spoiled by the frost.
A new defnition-A jury is body Of
men organized to. find out which side
has the smartest lawyer.
"What are the worst results OF q civil
WARP" cried All orator. "Widows,"
shouted Jones. who had married one.
Many a man who thinks his wife can
never equal his mother as cook forgets
that he will never again have school
boys appetite.
The girl who was locked in her lovers
arms for three hours explains that it
wasn't her fault. She claims he forgot
the combination.
Irving: Oae must feel Intellectually
secure before he can begin to dress shah
billy no one but genius or great
scholar dares to be dirty.
Hugo: Nature is pitiless: she never
withdraws her. flowers, her music, her
ljoyousness, and her sunlight from be-
fore human cruelty and suffering
Beacons6eld II nation be led to
aim at the good and great, whatever be
its form, the government will respond
to its convictions and sentiments.
Anon: A man can no more penetrate
or understand the mysteries Of female
fashions than he can know what the la
dies talk about when they go upstairs
after dinner.
Back-ache is almost Immediately re-
lieved by wearing one OF Carter's Smart
Weed and Belladonna Back ache Plas
ters. Try one and be free from pain
Price rs cents.
Although Cincinnati is very wicked
city we have proof that there is one
copy of the Bible there, anyhow. A
dispatch says woman hit her husband
with Bible an knocked him senseless
Among the Indians OF Central Amer
ica the wife buys provisions for her hus.
band, and he pays her for each meal
But the Central American wives don't
wear seal skin sacks and spring bonnets-
Mr.. Will S. HAYS is a candidate for
Mayor Of Louisville 1t is only neces.
sary to state that Mr. Hays is the author
"Mollie Darling" Every reader can
now figure on the majority of the other
man.
During the last one hundred and
twenty years the only statesmen who
have bad memorials to them put up IN
Westminster A Abhey have been the two
Pitts, Mr. Psrcival, Sir Robert Peel and
Lord Palmerston.
A suspicious mother down South
placed some nitro -glycerine in her
daughters corset on the evening her
fellow was coming. The girl loaned it
to the cock, and they had to scrape the
old man off the ceiling to get enough to
hold an inquest over.
An indianapolis girl has written a
poem about ice cream, aud calls it a
"froz N dream" Wait till it thaws in
side of you, sis You will not feel like
writing any more poetry, but your gen.
eral knowledge on the subject of ice
cream will be painfully enlarged.
"Don't you love her still ?" asked the
judge of man who wanted divorce.
"Certainly do," said be 81 lover her
better still than any other way, but the
trouble is she will never be STILL" The
Judge, who ia a married man himself,
takes the case under aiyisement.
When married man in Harlem was
surprised by his wife With his arms
around the pretty servant girl, few
evenings since. he rushed out OF the
house and had his hair shaved close to
the skull with horse clipper He said
he wanted to save the roots, anyhow.
Mrs. Lew Wallace, wife of the new
Minister to Turkey, uses for paper
weight piece OF rough turquoise that
would make the fortune OF crown
Ijeweler. 1t came from the rich mines oil
Santa Fe, which are said to contain the
beautiful blue stone in larger veins thar
those OF Persia,
They had been engaged for a long
time, and one evening were reading the
paper together. ''L1ok, love-" he ex.
claimed, "Only Sl5 for a suit Of
clothesr' "Is il a welding suit2" she
asked, looking naively at her lover. "Oh
no." he answered; sit is business suit,
l"Well, l meant business she replied
| The question, "Who was the young.
est soldier in the Union army during the
war of the rebellion ?" has heen gen
orally discussed by the press OF late, ,and
many claimants to the honor have been
put forth The latest is William
O'Mearn, Of Washington, D. c., who
says he was IL wears and 10 months old
when he enlisted.
After all the worry over Mother Ship
tons prophecy of the end of the world
it is rather aggravating to learn that moi
only the prophecy was forgery, bhl
even the old lady herself myth. Some
anxious Londoner has been ransacking
the British Museum for materials to
make biography, and he finds her q
sort OF historical Mrs. Harris-"there
was never no sich person."
/ Lady Beacons6eld had career almos,
as eventful as that of her second hus.
band. She was the daughter of retired
army captain, and in her youth was EN-.
ployed in millinery establishment il
Exeter. Her attractions fascinated ar
elderly gentleman of North Devon, Mr.
Wyndham Lewis, who died few year,
after the marriage, and left her his entir
fortune. Within three months of hi
death she married Mr.. Disraeli.
There was joy ON the farm when Ber
the Oldest boy, came back from colleg
in his sophomore year, and the villag
7 was proud Of him. "Cheese it Gully,
: he said when he met an old friend, th
son of q neighbor who joined farm
: with his father "cheese it, Gully; shoy
us your fipper, clench paddles, pard,
How's his nibs and what's the ne
IS racket" And his proud old fath'
st said: SIT was just worth more'n twic
< the money to her Ben rattle off Gree
ljust like liyin' language"