The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1881-06-30
Table Gossip.

Table Gossip. M
Kate Fields rates her profession
al services at $4,000 a year. She
must be productive Field.
One thousand stocking weavers
are preparing to emigrate to this
country from Germany. They come
well heeled. 81 f net
''Will the coming man fly2" is the
question, and the fat contributor
thinks he will--when the coming
woman gets after him.
Time has been taken by the fore
lock so frequently that the old man
seen in almanacs is nearly bald
headed.-[N. o. Picayune,
San Franciscoans will celebrate
the anniversary of the battle of
Bunker Hill, and fire q national sa-
lutte from the forts in the harbor.
"Where do they catch these
mock turtles, waiterT' ''Don't
know surr; maybe its near the
shamrock. ."-I New York CONNER
cial Advertiser, na
Henry Blanket, aged fifty, fell
into Buffalo creek and was
drowned.-[ News Item. He prob
ably found the bed of the stream
rather a cold one,
Vennor has opened a mining ex-
change in Montreal. Thought he
would run his business into the
ground before long.-[Cambridge
Tribune.
An Indiana child slept soundly
while a rat gnawed its face. Ma
ture evidently intended that young
one for church deacon Phila-
delphia Chronicle.
No one who has ever been on a
Sunday school picnic and observed
how innocence and youth attracts
snakes will vote for prohibition.-
Galveston News.
An observing individual says:
s.No one need drown il they will
keep cool" When a person is IN
the water he has no difficulty in
keeping cool, especially in winter
time. t.a dflsH
One man on the Pacific slope en-
ployed four weeks in writing 657l
words on a postal card so that they
can be read without the aid Of a
glass and then nobody cared to
read them. 9o N
"Charlie," inquired the Sunday
school teacher, ,"WhaG did Gideon
doP' sBeat one of the fsstest
trotters on the tracK," triumpantly
replied the promising young whip.
An advertisement reads WANTED
"A young man to be partly out
door and partly behind the coun
ter" and the Cleveland Leader
asks: "What will be the result
when the door slam sT'
George Washington did very
well as general and as q presi
dent, but he would have made
poor soap maker--he couldn't tell a
lye worth cent, or, in fact worth
two cents.-[Yawcob Strauss.
Man gets new deal when he
shufIles off this mortal COLL New
Orleans Picayune. And Is a turned
up Jack every time New Haven
Register. And goes.it alone till Ga
briel plays the last trump.
Captain Bogardus' feat of break
ing five hundred glass balls IN 25
minutes l5 seconds has been ex
celled by Philadelphia man, who
was carrying a basket of glass balls
to a shooting range and stepped on
a banana peel.
Why wouldn't Phebe a good
name for lawyers wife2-[ Yaw
cob Strauss. There could be no
objection to it, any more than
there could be to Sue.-[ [Somer
vile Journal.
Some philanthropist has said
that man who truly loves horse
cannot be wicked. He must be 10
the wrong, for Texas jails are full
of men who loved other peoples
horses not wisely, but too well.-
New Orleans Picayune.
Emotional insanity, temporary
fury and nervous excitement don't
60 down with Jurors In Wisconsin
In case of murder. They hold that
man who keeps gun loaded for
three days to kill a person must
know what he is about.
Rev. Mr.. Kendig was Mortified re-
Gently to find on reading a paper
which he ordered printed that where
be had written "Pray for your
school," the printer had made him
say, "Brag for your schoolp Evi
dently it was the work Of the
"devil."
An eminent geologist is firm ia
the belief that the so-callcd meteoric
stones from time to time cast upon
the surface of our globe are thrown
from other planets by volcanic
eruptions. If this theory be true,
then it must be accepted as fact
that these planets are not inhabited.
Boot-jacks, shaving mugs, chanks
of coal, porter bottles, and other
missiles would also be cast upon
our earth If life was the same there
as here. When a man heaves q
boot-Iack at a cat he infuses
enough strength into his arm 10
send the missile into a neighbor-
ing planet, and Mars must be thick
ly strewn with such things.-[ Nor
ristown Herald.
A Philadelphia girl, upon being
demonstrated with for refusing sn
honest young man, exclaimed
Its no use in arguing, ma His
nose is so dat that I'm sure be must
snore."