Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1881-02-28
RAILROAD LINGO.

The fact that every business has its par
ticular lingo, which is dead language to
people of other professions, was never more
clearly shown than in the following article
by Bill Nye in the Chicago Tribune:
One night half after II, judge, heard
somebody step along to the window of my
boudoir. Hearing it that time of night
reckoned that something crooked was going
on, so slid out of bed and got my great
blood searcher and liver purifier, with the
new style of center fire and cartridge
ejector, and slid up to the window, calcu-
lating to shove tonic into whoever it
might be that was picknicking around my
claim.
looked out so as to get good idea of
where | wanted to sink on him, and then |
thought before mangled him I'd ask if he
had any choice about which part of his
vitals he wanted to preserve, so | sings out
to him:
"Look out below there, pard, for I'm
going to call the meeting to order in a
minute. Just throw up your hands, if you
please, and make the grand hailing sign of
distress, or I'll have to mutilate you. Just
show me about where you'd like to have
the fatal wound, and be spry about it, too,
because I've got my brief costume, and the
evening air is chill.
He didn understand me apparently, for
gurgling laugh welled up from below,
and the party sings back
"Hillo, Fatty, is that you? ustlookin'
to see if you'd fred up yet. You know l
was to come around and flag you if second
seven was out. Well, I've been down to
the old mans to see what's on the board.
Three is two hours late and four is reported
on time. There's two sevens out and two
sections of nine. Skinney'll take out first
seven and Shorty'll pull her with l02.
It's you and me for second seven, with
Timber Jim on front end and Frenchy to
hold down the caboose. First five is
wrong side up IN a washout this side of
0galalla, and old Whatshisname that runs
253 got his crown sheet caved in and tel
escoped his headlight into the New Jerusa-
lem. You know the little Swede that
used to run extra for Old Hotbox on the
emigrant for a while? Well, he's firing ON
25S, and he's under three flats and coal
oil tank, with break beam across his
coupler and his system more or less re-
Taxed. He's gone to the sweet subse-
quently, too. Rest of the boys more of
less demoralized and sidetracked for re.
pairs. Now, you don't want to monkey
around much, for if you don't loom up like
six bits aud 60 out on the track, the old
man II give you time check and the ORR
entail Grand Bounce. You hear the mellow
thrill of my bazoo."
Then / slowly uncorked the Great Blood
Purifier, and, moving to the footlights
where the silvery moonbeams could touch
up my dazzling outlines, l said "Pard-
ner, | am pleased and gratified to have
met you. don't know the first ding
busted thing you have said to me, but
that's my misfortune. | am plain miner,
and my home is the digestive apparatus of
the earth, but for professional melody of
the chin you certainly take the cake. You
also take the cake. basket and what cold
pie there is on the dump. My name is
Woodtick Williams. l discovered the
Feverish Hornet up on Slippery Ellum.
| am proud to know you. Keep right on
getting more and more familiar with your
profession, and by-andb by, when nobody
can understand you, you will be promoted
and respected, and you will at last be a
sleeping car conductor and revel in the
biggest mental calm and wide shoreless
sea of intellectual stagnation that the world
ever saw. You will"
But he was gone.
Then l took the pillow. sham and wiped
some of the pulverized crackers off the soles
of my feet and went to bed in large COB
OF gloom.