The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1881-05-06
WIT AND HUMOR.
TROUBLE that has been bruin for some

TROUBLE that has been bruin for some
time is hard to bear.
To step on mans corn is bad sign
Look out for trouble -BrooklyR Union
ArgRS.
VERY preeocious and forward children
are not the salt of the earth. They are
too fresh.
The man who picked upa "well-hlled
poeket-book" was disguised to find 1t
full of tracts on honesty.
A woMAN's work is never done, be-
cause when she has nothing else to do
she has her hair to TX.
THE Syracuse Herald don't under
stand how, necessarily, man may be q
halter who makes his influence felt
SPEECH is silver and silence golden.
That is where it costs more to make a
man hold his tongue than it does to let
him talk
OLD subscriber: "What are you
growing about? If You want an article
that will cover the whole ground, get
Chicago girls shoe. "-BOSton Post,
SAYS Henry Ward Beecher "None
of us can take the riches and joys of this
life, beyond the grave" Don't want to,
sir. Well AXE ours this side of the
grave, if we can get EN-; the sooner the
better, sir.
AN exchange asks eff kissing is really
a sanctimonious method of greeting why
do not the pastors who practice it ever
bestow their labial attentions upon menu"
Because the men are always away, at
their business, when the pastor calls,
and there is nobody left to kiss only the
women.-Peck'S San.
ANGRY wife (time, 2 a. m.)-'Is that
you, Charles?' Jolly husband-''Zash
me. :" Angry wife-''Here have 1 been
standing at the head of the stairs these
two hours. Oh, Charles, how can your
Jolly husband (bracing 'Standin'
on your head ON t'shtairs? Jenny, I'm
shprisedl How can Il By jove, 1 can't!
Two hours, tool 'Stronary woman!"
ANEwsPAPER article asks: 'What are
the causes of decline among American
women?' Well, generally because she
thinks the fellow cannot keep her in
sealskin sacks, French gowns and fash
ionable bonnets. When q single man
with plenty of ''soap" is around there is
not any decline among American women
to speak of.--BoSton Commercial BtilLe-
tin.
GIVE noticed" said Fuddidud, "that
the railroads run past all the fences that
are painted over with medical advertise
ments. It's funny" he added, $ but it's
so. Did any of you ever notice itP" All
present acknowledged that it had never
occurred to them before-just that way.
Fuddidud is more than ever convinced
of his profundity. Boston Transcript.
In one of the hotels at Nice is beau
full American, who lately went to an " at
home" in full dress-low-necked, satin,
diamonds, ETC. On arriving and looking
around the room she perceived the other
guests to be in demi-toilet, "Well, "
she said, eff I'd known that it was only
sit around I'd not have put my clothes
on. "-L0ndOn Truth.
AMERICANS are of a practical nature.
When an Illinois farmer who had got
rich was visiting Switzerland, they dilated
to him Of the beauty of the surrounding
scenery. eyes" he replied, ''as scenery
it's very good But it strikes me the
Lord has wasted a lot of space on scenery
that might have been made level and
good farming land" They wanted to
lynch him. --BO8tOr3 Post.
THE Chicago street car conductor may
not be very civil but he is man of i'm
agination. The Inter Ocean tells story
Of a member of the guild who, when a
woman wearing a dolman waved her
arms to stop him, and then, fearing tc
be run over by passing wagon, did moi
move from the sidewalk but continued
her gestures, shouted, "Come, madam,
quit tapping them wings and gel
aboard. "-Bosto9a transcript.