The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1881-05-20
Girls as Barometers.


great discovery in the field of weather
prophecy has recently been made by Professor
Macgregor of the Royal society The pub.
lished record of his experiments are extremely
interesting, and they certainly give us good
reason to believe that a satisfactory substitute
for the barometer has at last been found.
Professor Macgregor tells us that his atteu-
ton was attracted to the use of girls for scien-
tific purposes by overhearing young lady re-
mark that her "bang would not keep crimped
in damp weather." Upon this hint ho imme-
diately began a series of experiments, stretch
ing over period OF eleven months and involy-
ing the use of 307 girls. He began by tax
ing red-haired girl with luxuriant
bang, which he caused to be crimped with
great care on an evening when the atmos-
phere was particularly dry. The next morn
ing the bang presented a beautifully "frizzed'
appearance, but as toward the afternoon the
air grew percptibly foggy, the professor ex-
pected that the bang would lose its crimDiditv
to use scientific term. 1t did nothing Of
the kind, and, so far as he could see, the state
OF the atmosphere had no effect upon it..
Instead of being discouraged by this failure
Professor Macgregor persevered 1t occurred
TO him that the color of the hair might he an
important factor, and that red hair might re-
tam Its crimpidity in circumstances where 9TH
er hair would lose that quality He therefore
ordered from a charity school three dozen or
phaned girls OF from II to Is years of age, and
OF assorted colors in point of hair Twelve of
these were black-haired, twelve were brown-
haired, and twelve were red-headed Ali of
these girls wore bangs and were in every wav
well adapted for scientific Investigations. Rv
long series OF experiments, he proved that on
the approach of wet weather the bangs of the
brown-haired girls, without exception. he
came limp and straight, that like effect was
produced upon the bangs of ten of the twelve
black-haired girls, while the red-haired girls
were not particle influenced either by the
humidity or the dryness of the atmosDhere.
Further experience upon ladies of eyery age
from l6 to As gave like results and the con-
clusion tnat the bang OF brown-haired girl is
an infalliable indicator of the approach Of wet
or dry weather may be unhesitatingly ac-
cepted. The professor also discovered that red
haired girls show peculiar susceptibility to
electricity. When thunder storm is brewing
their bangs become stiff and bristlng, and in
three instances, when the professor tried to
to smooth down bristling bang. he received
violent shock in the region of the ear. He
Is not yet prepared to say that the presence of
an usual amount of electricity in the air can
always be detected by use of red-haired girls,
but he Is strongly inclined to think that furth-
er investigation will prove that such is the
fact.
In view of this important discovery, Pro-
lessor Macgregor recommends that brown.
haired girls shall be substituted on board all
vessels, whether naval or mercantile, for the
present Enthusiastically barometer. He points
out that, in the merchant service, where a
stewardess is at present carried, she should be
required to be a brown-haired woman, with a
bang, and that any neglect on her part to
crimp her bang every night while at sea
should be punished as midemeanor. In the
navy peculiarly sensitive brown-haired girls
should be employed, and the professor sug-
gests that they be kept in glass cases open, Of
course at the top, so that they would run no risk
of being injured. The first cost of girl is.
of course, rather more than barometer, and
it is expensive to keep her in order, but this is
OF no consequence compared with her value as
weather indicator. We can now understand
why nature created girls with bangs, and it is
to be hoped that there will be all end of the
foolish opposition which so many thoughtless
men have made to. the present style of banged