The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1881-09-15

~ MI ttit'1 q S4tsa't ~ ce1ta ~ AteiihO
you? When it can't bear you.
When is coffee Ike the earth? When
it is ground.
What part of speech IS most dis
tasteful to lovers? The third per-
son.
!. What vegetable is anything but
agreeable on board a ship. A
leek.
Who may lruthfulIy say. Take
away my first letter, take away my
second letter, take away all my letters
and am still the same?" The post
man.
= wheny-dOes tailor serve his Gus
toners ills When he gives them
Its.
Where are balls and routs sup
piled gratis? On the field of bat.
tie.
+ When is q boat like knife? When
it is a cutter.
Why is a mimic like a type-setter9
He is always copying.
Why sare good portraits like twin
brothers fighting? They are striking
ilikenesses.
A small boy went to see his grand
mother, who noticed that he was look
ing curiously around The handsomely
furnished room.
'what are you looking for'' said
his grandmother.
"oh," replied the snail boy, ''Pm
looking for the miserable table which
papa says you kcepl"
Why cannot people who stutter be
relied on?' Because they are always
breaking their word.
/ A Norwich, Conn, schOolboy. when
asked to define lawsuit" replied.
The things policeman wears"
In French translation of Shake
speary's Macbeth" the words 'hail,
Macbeth" are rendered "How do you
dc, MacbetH29
Extract from Johnnie's composition
on Extremes
eve should endeavor to avoid ex-
tremes-especially those Of wasps and
bees"
Look here, my son, said stern
father, ''are you telling me the truth?
l can Rad something in your face.
''lYhy, fathar," was the reply, ''you
know you can't read worth a cent with
out your speetaclesl"
Ralph, who was just seven, ran to
bis mother, exclaiming;
Mamma, Iva Mccall says, I
are instead of i is She doesn't
know much bout 'rithmetic, does
she2"
When Tom returned from funeral
his mother asked what the minister's
text was, he said:
"He's dead, and they went up tho
road, that's the text"
The text was really rs follows:
''Man goeth to his long home. and
the mourners 90 about the streets.
One of the funniest things that ever
happened occurred to the English nat
uralist, Mr. Gould. He was walking
through the woods when he saw tree
in the trunk of which their was hole.
Climbing up to the hollow, he looked
in and exclaimed:
Gas Pm living man, if there isn't
large owl here IN this hole looking
straight at me with his ghost like
eyesig
His friends below were very much
texcited. Mr.. Gould carefully put his
hand into the hollow to seize the owl.
Fancy the uproarious merrimento of his
friends when he withdrew his hand
saying:
Il declare, its only a pool of water in
therel'
The water had reflected Mr..
GouId's own face, which he mistook for
an owl
..AElmma," said little Willie, "why
are our liyaeinths over there in the
window like whaIes2"
They're noi like whales" said bis
mct'ier.
"oh, yes! replied VIII, They both
come up to bIow-dOn't tbcy77
Besse was in the garden. A wasp
pite led npon rose leafand Bessie ex-
, claimed:
ooh, the ugly thingl He's wabbling
his two front teeth at me.
Bessie nistook the wasp's antonae, or
feeIers, for teeth.
), "Uucle." said Bessie. why is our
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