Democratic messenger., 1881-10-29
WIT AND WISDOM.

| "hAI oteAtC 10 lOubO On OOoA HcAdCoy
and high in the middle Ohio.
IT's a good proverb, God keep me
from him whom I trust, for from him
that I trust not shall keep myself.
A MAN who was equally fond of
"spouting" and drinking was boasting
that he could "bring an argument to a
pint as quick as any other man. "You
can bring a quart to pint good deal
more quickly" replied his friend.
THIS bit of wisdom is from the Gin
cinnati Saturday Night: eyes, the
night air may be bad, but it isn't so bad
as the night tear" True, the last men
toned is field in which you gather
more tares than wheat.
SOME misanthropical fellow who hath
no conviviality in him wants to know
why it is that when q lot of men get
together to talk nonsense and drink
champagne they call it the feast of
reason and flow of soul?"- Boston Globe.
ANY great event is now known the
civilized world over in day or two.
Verify, the railroads and the telegraph
are already abreast of the sewing circle.
The sewing circle must look to its laurels
ere they are snatched from its brows.-
Boston Transcript.
The dainty turkey treads the crisp,
frosted autumn grass as gently as leaf
falls, seeming to beg pardon of the very
ground it steps on. In about a month
that turkey will be lying on its brown
back as peaceful as the mashed potatoes
! and boiled onions.
a GROUP of superstitious folks are
talking over charms, amulets, fetiches
and the subject of luck generally. "An
old uncle of mine," says one of them,
finally, "when he died bequeathed me
a talisman, thanks to which have
always got along well in the world.
"And it was ?" "Fifty thousand
year"
A LONDON journal thinks that when
women begin to work they will smoke
also. The London journal is off its
base, as Shakespeare says. In this
country when women work it is their
husbands who do the smoking. The
women don't get time. And the men
couldn't afford it if their wives didn't
work.-NoyT'istOaO Herald.
One of the most celebrated of mathe-
maticians was also one of the most
absent-minded of men. On going out
one forenoon he wrote in chalk on his
door, "I am not at home" Some time
after, he returned. and just as he was
about to open his door he was struck by
the inscription which he had himself
written. He read it as if for the first
time, turned to the right about, and re-
descended the stairs, muttering, ST am
not at home"
To pretty young girl Sydney Smith
once said: "Do you ever reflect how
you pass your life? If you live to be
seventy-two, which / hope you may;
your life is spent in the following man
ner: An hour day is three years; this
makes twenty-seven years sleeping,
nine years dressing, nine years at the
table, six years playing with, children,
nine years drawing, walking and visit
ing, six years shopping, and three years
quarreling."
FoGa put his foot into it bodily when
he was introduced to Mrs. Smith and
her daughter. He wished to say some
thing neat and gallant. Addressing
the daughter, said he: Really, ma
dame, I never should have suspected
that that lady was your daughter. l
supposed, of course, that You were SIS
ters I did, I assure YOU" "Thank
you, Mr.. Fogg," replied Miss Smith.
"You were perfectly right in thinking
that lady could not be my daughter.
she is my mother, SIR" Fogg went off
in hurry, calling somebody or other
confounded fool, while Miss Smith was
heard to remark, Indignantly: "Sisters,
indeed. boston Transcript.
THE PARTING LOVERS.
Good night, sweetheart 1t can't be ten, 1
| know;
That clock had better Ego little slowr'
l do not see how it can have the face
To take "new deals" at such a rapid pace.
Full well know ten minutes have not flown
Since it struck nine! Good night my love,
-"Good night, Charlie!'
o yes; last night, while going Idown Broad
way,
Who do You think met Jack Gray!
Just home from Europel You should hear
him talk
would make mummy laugh to see him
walk
He struts around with such a killing air.
Ha ha! Good night, my love, my jewel
rare!
-" Good night Charlie ~
o Katie wait, dear! forgot to tell
You something. Let me think That's funny
Well.
It's gone and in a moment so am |.
Ny darling, how hate to say good by
Some fellows would much later stay, know;
But " ten your mother says so l must go,
-" Good night, Charlie"
sometir-e bewitching Kate-ah sometime,
sweet
"Good-by" shall we consider obsolete.
No more will clocks strike terror to my heart,
And in exultant tones bid me depart,
All now. like Cinderella at the ball.
fly from happiness. Good night, my all
-" Good night, Charlie :"
o Katie dear, is't too much trouble, think,
To get match? could not sleep wink
without my smoke 1t is lovely night,
So clear and sweet, add it is Just as bright
As day. Well, must tear myself away.
Thanks, dear {! Good night once more I'll say
-"Good night, Charlie y
o dearl How stupid of me! There's my
cane
must come back and get it Should it rain
Tomorrow eve, will come and let you know
About the party; if not, Wen go.
Harkl Catch me ere l fall o what shock !!
1t strikes again Good night! Confound
that clock
Good night, Charlie !"
The JUDGF.-A colored woman was
up before a New York judge, not long
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