The Saline County journal. [volume] (Salina, Kan.) 1871-1893, 1881-04-28

A spicy article = mince-pie.
Not Woeth . Snap-a poor eun-cop.
Chow CONTRACTOR arc advanced peo-
pie.
Time h money, valued according to
our income.
A designing class Of people-archl-
tects.
A strong conviction Ii never the
product Of . weak mind.
Living realities exist, but how about
dead ceFtainties?
The Kansan habitude should now ae-
custom himself to take water"
Women, in . certain respect, resem-
bic . joke. Age, you know.
Jones says that about the first thing
he remembers Of, that greeted his child
ish ears, was the schOolmarm's hands.
az was brought up to h-it," was the
remark Of the pugiIistic Englishman.
Just a. broad ~ II h long-a square.
The axiom, IT'S better to give than
to receive" applies specially % advice.
Actions speak palmer than words.
and they are frequently more loud.
Passing fair-the g0Od-l0Oking wo-
men that promenade our streets.
Kansas saloon men are no longer Al
lowed the alternative. put up or shut
up" It's shut up.
Promen-a.les and lemon-ades are the
aids that will lead many a swain on to
success this summer.
Faith II a mighty slim thing to live
on. Even the devOut expOundef OF
religion recognizes this fact, and exem-
plifies it in his preference to live on
his congregation.
What made Byron ?-McGregor
Ncms Probably Bulwer after him.
Modern ArgO. Oran angry COwper
sued him.
A timely hint-that when young
lady tells her beau that it's two O'Clock
on Monday morning.
Invariably adopt yourself to circum-
stances. Never try the rice rers0.
The man who undertakes to adopt cir
cunlstances to himself will get left
every time.
Why Is an inebriated Justice of the
Peace like the matter of two prize
fighters falling into an attitude for
combat? Because it's Squire of
Keno: Yes, all Of our paragraphs
are original. You can more fully COM
prehend that this is true when we tell
you that we had rather he whip
placed in envy's honest hand, to lash
the naked rascal through the world
than be unoriginal.
A correspondent wants to know II
there Is anything quicker than light
ming. There is. Nitro-glycerine and
lightning taken in equal quantities
and mixed thoroughly are much
quicker. If you are much interested
in this matter, you might test II. The
experiment Is simple one and sure to
XIII.
"This goes to the highest bidder"
said the street auctiOneer; whereupOn
q man sitting i'm the window above
claimed that he was the highest bid
der. Strange to state, however, the
willy auctiOneer knocked it down to
the one bidding the most.
The rays of the sun should not be
COMPOUNDED with the rise Of the sun.
Neither Is one regular and the other
irregular, from grammatical point of
view, but each belongs distinctly and
separately to different breed of cats,
as Shakespeare, or some one else, SO
tetineiy remarked.
There's no two features, no matter
how similar, but what there exists a
marked difference. We make this
statement to illustrate-sOIne way We
have lost our idea. The gr0und-struct-
ure which we intended to build upon
the above quotation is, so to state.
lost, for we haven't the slightest recOl-
lection of the subject set aside for anal
ysis. Let's see-what were We
talking about, any way?
There's hog in Ohio which is fifty
years old. This must he ancient
Greece.-Puck There ia q bottle of
spirits i'm Kentucky that Is one hun
dred and seventy four years old. This
must he ancient Rum.-Andretrs'
American Queen The stopper to that
must be ancient Cork. A New Haven
man has cheese dated 1893. This must
he ancient Rhine. Neat.-Hub6drd's
Printer advertiser. A Salina man has
a 14-year old gobbler. We would Oh
serve that this might be ancient Tur-
key.