The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1881-05-14

practice. o, you can't fool us on female doc
tors A man who has been sick and hau male
doctors, knows just how he would feel to have
female doctor come tripping IN and throw
her fur-lined. cloak over a chair, take off her
hat and gloves and throw them on lounge,
and come up to the bed with pair of marine
blue eyes, with twinkle in the corner, and
look him in the wild, changeable eyes and
ask him to run out his tongue. Suppose he
knew his tongue was coated so 1t looked like
a yellow Turkish towel, do you suppose he
would want to run out five or six inches of
the lower end of it and let that female doc.
tor put her finger on it to see how fur 1t was
Not much. He would put that tongue up
into his check and wouldn't let her see it tor
twenty-five cents admission. We have all
seen doctors pat their hands under the bed
clothes and feel OF a mans feet, to see If they
were cold If female doctor should do that
it would give man cramps in the legs. A
male doctor can put his hand on mans
stomach, and liver and lungs, and ask him if
he feels any pain there, but if female doctor
should do the same thing 1t would make a
man sick, and he would want to get up and
O, there is no use of talking, 1t would kill a
man. Now suppose man had heart disease,
and female doctor should want to listen to
the beating Of his heart She would lay her
left ear on his left breast so her eyes and rose
bud mouth would be looking right in his face,
and her wavy hair would be scattered all
around there, getting tangled IN the buttons of
his night shirt. Don't you suppose his heart
would get in about twenty extra beats to the
minute? You bet? And she would smile
we will bet ten dollars she would smlle-and
snow her pearly teeth, and her ripe lips would
be working as though she were counting the
beats, and he would think she was trying to
whisper to him, and Well, what would he
be doing all this time? If he was not dead
yet, which would be a wonder, his left hand
would brush the hair away from her temple,
and kind OF stay there to keep the hair away,
and his right hand would get sort of nervous
and move around to the back of her head, and
when she had counted the heart beats a few
minutes and was raising her head, he would
draw the head up to him and kiss her once
for luck, ifhe was a bilious as Jersey swamp
angel, and have her charge it in the bill. And
then reaction would set In, and he would be
as weak as a cat and she would have to fan
him, and rub his head till he got over being
nervous, and then make out her prescription
after he got asleep. No; all of mans symp-
toms change when female doctor is practic-
ing on HIM, and she would kill him dead.
The Sun is a woman's rights paper, and be-
leves in allowing women to do anything that
they can do as well as men, and is in favor Of
paying them as men are paid for the same
work, taking all things into consideration, but
it is opposed to their trihing with human life
by trying to doctor a total stranger. These
colleges are dong a great wrong in preparing
these female doctors for the war path, and we
desire to enter a protest in behalf OF twenty
million of men who could not stand the pres
sure.-Pech's Sun.