The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1881-08-05

He WORId Go A.GunnInE for Birds.
"sAy, my dear" said Nj, spoopspdyke
Al he drew q gun from the case and eyed
1t critically, ~ want you to wake me Of
early In the morning. Tmgoiug hunting
"Isn's that too sWsssP" Circulated Mrs
~spoopsndyke, "Ill wear my new drssl
aud my Saratoga waves. Where do We
GOT"
I'm going down on the island, Snd
you'll probably 60 as far a. the front door,
grunted Mr.. s~poopendyks. "Women
don't 90 shooting, It's only men. All
you've got TO do 10 wake me up and gel
breakfast. When leone home we'll have
some birds"
wont that be nicer" chimsd Mrs,
Spoopeudyke. "Can you catch birds with
that thing?" and Mrs, s~poopsndyke hut
tered around the improved breeCh.loadlng
shot gun, firmly impressed with the idsa
that Il was some kind Of Q trap.
~ can kill 'sm with that" explained
Mr.. s~poopendyke. "Thati s q gun It isn't
q nest with three specified eggs Ia Il, NOR ID
1t . barn with a hole ia the roof, You
stick the cartridge in her and pull this fn'
ger piece, and down comes your bird every
time"
"Well, isn't that the greatest thing!
suppose II you don't want q partridge you
can stick q duck or Q turkey In that end,
too, or . fab OF, q lobster, and bring 1t
down just as quick,
ayes, and you ca1 stick Q house OF
cornheld. or q dod gasted female idiot In
there, ton, II you want to-" snorted Mr.,
Spooperdyke. "Who said anything about
q partridge! It's cartridge that goes in
"OhI' ejaculated Mrs. spoopendyke,
rather CresliGllen. ~ see now. Where
does the bird gol"
HE goes to n%ight.School, II he hasn't
got any more sense than you have"
snorted Mr.. S%pOopendyke. Look here.
now, and I'll show you how It works."
and Mr.. Spookendyke, whose ideas # q
gun were about as vague as those OF hls
wife, inserted the cartridge half way IN
the muSzle end, and cautiously cooked
the weapon.
"And when the bird ssss that he comes
and peCks at It. I-n't that the iunniesll'
and Mrs. Spoopendy Ike clapped her hands
In the Enjoyment Of her discovery. "Then
you out out your hand and catch him"
you've struck 1T" howled Mr.. Spoop
endyke, who had the hammer on the hat
cock, aud was vAinly pulling at tho trig
ger to get It down. 'ThAt's the idea
Az yon need Is four feathers and q gas
bill 10 he q maHiug1le! With your no.
tons, you only want q new stock and
steam trip hammer To be q needle gun!
Don't you know the dod.gSated thing hss
got to 20 of before you yet u bird? You
shoot the hlrdsi you don't wait for 'em to
shoot you'll"
"At home, we used always to chop their
heads of with an Az" ialtered Mrs.
spoopsndyks:
80 would l, II I waa going after messly
old hens" retorled Mr.. S~poopendykP,
who managed to uncoCk the co~nttvAnCe,
"but when l 20 for yellow birds and spar.
rows / 90 like q sportsman. While l am
waiting for a bird" continued Mr.. Spoop'
endyke, adjusting the cartridge ct the
breech, N put the load 10 here for safety.
And when | see . lock | aim aud fire"
Dtukl WGub iuG gun AuuCAluk thV boAl
feathers out OF an eight.day clock and
blowing q fco. furrow In the wall, perfora
tirg the closet door and eliminating 10
Mr.. Spoopendyke's plug hat
"G0odnpss, grRciouE! !" sQueaked MrP.
spoopendyks. "0h, myI"
Mr.. spoopsndyke gathered himself mp
and contemplated the damage.
"Why couldn't ye keep still7" he
shrieked. "What dye want to disturb
my aim for and make me let Il Of? Think
| can hold back . charge Of powder and .
pound Of shot while a measly woman is
soaring II through a gun barrel?"
III that had been q bird how nicely vou
would have shot ~" suggested Mrs
s%poopendyke, soothinvIy. III you should
ever aIm a. a bird you'd catch him Surel"
"0h! you know what l could dol With
your information about gunnery you only
need q wad in your mouth and a kick like
q mule 10 be a mountain howiizer! II |
had your intelligence on sporting subjects
I'd hire ont Tor q shot tower. Don't you
know you've spoiled the dod gasted gun 2"
And Mr.. Spoopendyke, anxious Tor some
excuse 10 take II back 10 bis friend
Specklewottle, who loaned II 10 him, held
II ouL and eyed bis vile sternly. you've
ruined that gum" he continued solsmnly,
at Won't ever 20 Of again"
"Neyet mind, dear" Conuseled Mrs.
spoopendyke "1ts been of enough, and
ia Just as lief have some clans as birds
You ~ to bed, and WE'LL try TO do without
birds"
ut won't ever go of Ssain," requested
Mr.. spoopsndyke, as he climbed into his
couch. "That is a ruined gum" and he
turned his face to the wall.
Mrs ~spoopendyke slowly disrobed, hay
ing tittt turned q ,Lteam Of water into the
gun from the faucet, aud hetook her to
rest. ut may not 60 of again." she
thought, "but II II does the neighbo,s will
think the water main has burst" with
which reflection she began 10 pat the ear
OF Mr. Spoopsndyke, who turned tvet
like an earthquake and wanted 10 know II
she thought she hadn't done enough
mischief without lamming him like q dod
gasted blacksmith"
Deem II my Duty 10 reii the world
what DR.. Swavne's Compound syrup