St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1881-01-21
Squibs.

To the query of Danbury dentist to
an applicant for new set as to what
sort of teeth she wanted, she said,
something that won't show dirt
[Danbury News.
A bOyish novice in smoking turned
deadly pale and threw away his cigar.
Said he, "Thcre's something in that
cigar that's made me sick" II know
what it is" said his companion, putting
away. "What ?' "Tobacker.r
The philosOphic Billings graphically
illustrates the difference between a
blunder and mistake. "When a man
puts down a bad umbrella and takes up
good one" saith Josh, che makes a
mistake; ; but when he puts down a
good one and takes up a bad one he
makes blunder."
A New York boarding house took
fire the other night, and the flames got
as far as the pantry, when they went
out for want of fuel Philadelphia
/ News.
Fashionable young lady at a social
gathering remarks, jestingly, to Gil
hOOly: Il wonder how much L would
bring if | was put up at auction and
sold to the highest bidder ?" "Just
about $500" "Why my jewelry alone
is worth that ~ eyes, that's what l
put it down in my estimate"
An architect who built a new City
| Hall for a Western town made a botch
of it and fed to Canada, as he left word
with his friends, ITO remain until the
affair should blow over" Next day
high wind struck the town, and his
friends telegraphed him: "Come back.
The whole shebang was blown over last
night"
Ne Lud Beaconsfield, in his alleged
novel, "Endymion," says, speaking of
America, "A country that borrows its
| language, its laws and its religion, can
not have its inventive powers much
developed" Me Lud forgets that
America only bOrrows the English Ian
guage in order to prepare the dictiOna-
ries which Englishmen are compelled
to consult when they really want to
know what the language is Detroit
Free Press.
The duty on appropriateness i'm
ported from Africa is twenty per cent.
Under ''tariff for revenue only" these
animals would have been shipped here
almost free of duty, and in little
while our bulldogs, cats and other
home productions in the way of pets
would have been crowded out of the
market and some of our industries Grip
pied. The wisdom of electing a Re
publican President becomes more aud
more apparent every day. Norristown
Herald.
Inquirer: A college is place where
] is Il in1
he is sowing his wild oats, and thus re-
lieves his family of the annoyance of
having him about.
A northern paper praises the 'Indian
Hair Restorer." He is fraud. No In
dian was ever known to restore any
hair. He files it away as a certificate
on which to draw rations from Uncle
Sam.
etiquette" writes TO us to inquire if
in our opinion it would be proper for
him to support a young lady if she was
taken with faint-even if he hadn't
been introduced. Proper, young man,
certainly her by all means
Cleveland Sun.
We try to be calm, but still the
prophecy of Mother ShiptOn haunts us,
aud for some months to come we will
buy provisions in small quantities at a
; time. p. S.-Our grocers advise this
course.
Two Yale college students were ar
rested and locked up one night last
p week, charged with stealing n grocery
: sign. "A wicked and perverse genera
: tiOn seeketh for a sign"
( In the window of Buffalo, New
u York, art store was painting repre-
5 senting a group of dogs. A gentleman
: was particularly excited by the watch
e fulness with which the little dogs re-
{ garded a fly on the launches of big
|. mastiff, the principal figure in the pie
T. ture He finally entered the store
= bought the picture and ordered it sent
}. home. Shortly after he wrote the
T, picture dealers, expressing some comi-
e cal regret that what he supposed to be
an artistically painted fly in the picture
had turned out to be a real insect
IS which had stopped there on business
r, while the gentleman was looking at The
:, painting.