Knoxville daily chronicle. [volume] (Knoxville, Tenn.) 1870-1882, 1881-12-11
PITH AND POINT.

melody, but the waltz is the music OF
the whirled.
THERE is a hmit-First young lady;
could sit here forever" Second dit.
to: "And till lunch time"
Why is wine that has been bottled for
years like an unmarried lady of advanced
age? Because it is old made, and none
the worse for it.
DIR. JOHNSON once, speaking of a
quarrelsome fellow, said: elf he had
two ideas IN his head they would fall out
with each other"
EMERSON says q a man passes for what
he is worth" No, he doesn't, he passes
for the sake of getting new trump
L0,ceN Courier.
If you Judge of Browns character by
the umbrella he carries, you will form q
very poor opinion Of Smith, for it ID
Smiths umbrella.
WHEN man tells story he thinks is
funny and the crowd does not catch on,
his face falls, naturally. It is affected
by the force of gravity.
NoTwIrHsTANDING the defamation Of
Prohlbltlonlsts, rubicund-visaged
friend of ours asserts that "sling F." i'll
the hand is better than hand in sling,
Cambridge Tribune.
A WITNESS was on the stand in an il.
legal liquor-sale case. The counsel was
trying to find out in what kind of glass
the liquor was handed to the witness,
and at last exclaimed: "What kind of 6
looking glass was it?" "Begorra, sor
it was not looking-glass at all !; it was {
tumbler."
The English word luggage" il
creeping into American newspapers, and
without reason. Luggage is derived
from lug.-Phaiadelphi0 NeWs En-
tirely right. Trunks are not logged il
| the American system. They are smashed
| Smashage is the WORD. -IadianapoH
NeaUs.
| PRoF. HARRIS, a Boston scientifi,
| sharp, says "There is coming o
| the macrocosm into the microcosm.
Well, what of itp If the microcosm il
larger than the macrocosm, and the ma
crocosm wants to 60 in, and has got {
ticket, we don't see what is to proven
it. Give us something new.-Peck'
! San.
"WHo's that frizzly, black haire'
woman talking to my husband on tn
ottoman ?" "She's Mrs. Cardigan.
"Indeedl she's good at fiattering pee
Pile, should say, and knows how to la
it on pretty thick" "Ah; you infe
that, no doubt, from her attitude an
expression" ooh, dear, no from M
husbands"
A COUNTRY girl at fashionable hote
in the city noticed that all the guest
used their forks only in eating pie. VI
on her return home she reported tn
fact to the old lady, who comforted he
by observing: "You shouldn't min
'en, Jemima; it's all because they're to
lazy to use their knives"
STRANGE impertinence. Pastor =
Eyes, Mrs. Brown. Taking into cor
sideration the fact that the Smiths hare
ly ever pay their pew-rents, it is strange
ly bad taste on their part to sing S
loudly and throw such JUNCTION into the
PRAYERS" Mrs. Brown" Quite to
terribly shocking !''-London Fsm.
AT Chautauqua little girl was aske
if she was Methodist. "Oh no
she replied. 81 am a Brethren, an
my mother is Brethren, too" Thes
were of the United Brethren. At MOI
treal one of the Plymouth Brethren WE
asked why they never spoke of I'll
Plymouth sisters. "Oh!' was his al
swer, "the Brethren embrace tt
sisters"
A BosToN man took occasion to L,
mark to his wife; "AIy dear, the infinii
is always silent. IT'S the finite onl
that speaks" She was dull woman
who didn't take hints, but she never TO
got the remark, and long afterwar(
when some friends expressed wish
visit the deaf and dumb asylum, ST
turned to her husband and asked
"What days, my love, is the asylum I
the infinite open for the reception
finite visitors ?"
DAY-POT-nEP-POT.
Said Master Jones, Now must we go,
| Without delay to the depot
obad MissI - 7 should