Daily globe., 1881-05-15
Drunk and Insulting.

He was tall, slim man, with hooked
nose and little twinkling eyes. The odor
of rum was very perceptible in the at
mosphere around him, and could he re-
alize on the capital invested in that
blossom on his nose he might purchase
corner lot on Michigan avenue. The
car was full when he got in at the Mad
ison street bridge, and several ladies'
were standing, although some Of the
seats were occupied by men. He
crowded through the aisle, begging
everybody's pardon, and braced himself
with his back against the front door.
There was good-natured look on his
face, when he would occasionally forget
himself, but he seemed to realize his
condition, and assumed an air of deter
mined seriousness when he caught any
one looking at him. He first insisted
that well dressed, modest-looking lady
should change places with him, and rest
herself by leaning against the door.
But she declined, with bushes.
If were occupying seat, ma'am,"
he said, in loud tone, "Iwould offer
it to you cheerfully yes, ma'am, cheer
fully"
"You are very kind" she replied,
softly, and turned her head away, for it
was plain that the fumes of liquor al
most made her gag. Some Of the men
who were assisting in holding the seats
down all at once began to be very
much occupied in gazing out of the win
dows, and two young fellows in the cor
ner engaged in an absorbing conversa-
ton.
cit seems to me-" continued the OLD
pickle, speaking as if to himself, 1t
seems to me that young men are not as
polite as they used to be-"
A imid-looking young man in the
corner here arose and offered his seat to
lady, blushing as if he had been de-
tected is a heinous crime. -,.
"I am glad, SIR" continued the
speaker, " to see that you are an excep-
ton, an honorable exception, SIR
The young man began to look very
platform, stumbling over the equity feet
of an old gentleman who had sat oppo-
site, and whose eyes glared with homi-
cidal fury. III s
"Most men, nowadays-I beg your
pardon, ma'am"-(to lady whose bon
net he crushed when staggering under
lurch of the cary. "Most men, nova
days, hang to q seat as if they were
clamped on to it, and poor tired ladies
stand helplessly in the aisles, except
when good-looking one gets into Car,
and then somebody always gives her
seat It's the homely women who al
ways have to stand"
The ladies in the aisle looked very
absurd, and girl with bangs, who had
taken the seat the timid young man sur
rendered, Uttered.
"No gentleman will keep his seat in
car while ladies are standing. It is
always safe"
The old gentleman with the equity
feet here looked up and said, savagely:
"It is always safe to mind your own
business !"
At this the two young raen who had
been engaged in the absorbing converse
ton left their seats and pulled the bell
strap.
"Was addressin' my remarks to you,
sir % asked the old pickle.
81 don't know, and I don't care a
-. You mind your business, and I'll
mind mine"
ct intended no offense, sir; particu-
larly not to you, sir. When man
gets to he as old and fat as you, sir, he
is not expected to be as gallant as when
he was young and active"
81 told you to mind your business,
and I'll mind mine. don't want no
words with you. You're drunk and
don't know what you're talking about"
"Im drunk, am I y and he gave a
leer that was intended to express irony.
{" I am sober enough to know an old hog
when I see one.
At this the young girl with the bangs
giggled outright, and the infuriated old
gentleman with the equity legs yelled
Conductor conductor This man
here is drunk and insulting"
The conductor entered the car and led
the old pickle out to the platform, where
the soliloquy was finished, to the infin-
ite amusement of number of passen-
GERS Chicago Inter Ocean.
A Preachers Artifice.
Fra Roces the celebrated b11t eccen