Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1881-03-25

examination. This was puZzler. 1t
went down the class until it came to a
simple urchin. who said Perhaps 1t s
q flea.
An exchange contains the marriage no.
tice of Mr.. and Miss Car We notice it
merely as an instance of car-couphng by
a clergyman. which is something unu-
sual.
Ohio papers are discussing why quail
freeze to death. 1t is simply because they
cannot afford to pay 50 ton for coal.
PHILADELPHIA Chronicle Herald.
The short girl should not cry because
she's not tall let her remedy the evil by
getting spliced.
ssShet dat do, Sam" why, it amt
cold. marin" '.Golly, you shet dat do,
Won brat oh course it amt cold, it's me
dat's cold Tiuk care wedder de dos
cole or not p Yonkers Gazette.
A fashion item says-"Mountaln bunt-
ing" is serviceable for travelling dresses.
1t is presumed that Mountain bunting"
is made of the hair of the mountain
goat
The only difference between pig max
ing glutton of itself and a man making
a pig of himself is that the pig at some
future day will be cured.
A man who ia as true as steel, possess
es an mon will, some gold, aud fair
portion of brass, should be able to en-
dure the hardware of this world.
I'm afraid that bed is not long enough
for you ;" said landlord TO a seven foot
guest. Never mind" he replied, '1'll
add two more feet to it when get in.
Now the husband, Still lover,
And his wife SO true and tried
Ger the dying nre hover,
Listening 10 the wind outside.
And with smile and cheering laugh, he
Calls her idol of hts soul,
TIL he makes her through his ''tans
Bring another hod OF coal
-Blgominytoa Eye.
MANY actors are like oysters. You can
see all there is in them as soon as they
open their mouths.-NelC York Mirror.
Old Nose and another old darkey were
standing in front of the Ne,cs office dis
cussing matters and things, when JIM
Webster happened TO pass. Oar am
about forty regular chicken stealers IN
Galveston, includin' Jim Webster, re-
marked the old man. Jim overheard the
remark, so he came right up to Nose and
threatened to eliminate him if he did not
take it back. Den dnr am forty regular
chicken stealers in Galveston, not IN
cludin' Jim Webster Is yer satisfied
nova" Jim said, very much affected ::
.'Uncle Nose, when man 'pologizes. he
less disarms me right dar. Shake old man.
'Taint often nowadays dat anybody flat
tiers me as Won has Jest done. ."-GatceS-
ton Netrs.
A little bov in Belfast, Me-, attended
church last Sunday for the first time. On
returning home, he was asked what was
done at the church. TO which he replied
First they sang, then man prayed, and
then one passed round corn-popper.
The trouble about taking medicine
warranted to cure all diseases Is that 1t
may not know exactly what Is wanted OF
it, and in that case 1t will go foollng
around in the system trying to cure you
of some disease you have not got.
Guiballard recently reproved friend
for his too liberal use of absinthe.
'Bah !" said the latter, 1--WE drank of it
since | was boy, and I'm 60. Very
likely" responded Guiballard, "but If
you had never drank Of it perhaps you
would now be 20"
An eminent pianist, having suffered
much from the lrrepresslble conversation
OF drawing room audiences, devised the
other day means Of giving little lesson
to the town He arranged with his vio-
lin his yioloncello, and the rest that the
music should come to sudden stop IN
the midst of the loudest passage of the
piece, Mt given signal from him. 1t
was done The bawling and shouting
voices were left, in the twinkling OF an
eve, high and dry, as it were, upon q
shore Of silence. Joyous, clear and dis
tinct above them all, arose from the fore
most seats the voice of lady And
these words were ringing upon Ethe start
led air, I'VE always fry ours in lard =
What decoration is that You are wear
ing 2" said an Austrian sergeant to new
recruit. at is q medal our COW won al
the cattle show"
Twelve almanacs were found on the
person of tramp at Indianapolis. 1t is
supposed he was studying for Il humorist
Young lady, examining some brila
wells: Can You really recommend thi:
one = Over-zealous shopman ''Oh
yes, miss II NAV be used several
times"
Ua.L;oo.on bod ca many boJv servant
"eAo I,a+-;n,,;,,, q, roniar II tba
peoPii. NJ I',iI,Ii;s7, II, ,a,.ar saonoa,
~usn via. 49, 80 III, IL IIa1nIou,
" .aAe any 'niHs 'o'
A candidate whose prlhcipHl supporter, !,
are tavern keepers and shocmakers proud
aiiIues " 'nui ~, US iu'i7 ti ~
nnu wa Ig Tgie'i '''''''' f'"'' '''''''
'ieI "'"'
The Wild storm still ragged furlousiy
Ever and anon the vivid lightning IN fan
tastic shapes. illumined the darksome AN
! auury Ieayena At last our yOunU hero