The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1881-08-25
spoopENDYKEs BICYCLE.
he Kindly Invites His Wife to Wit
ness His Experiments.
BROOKLYN Eaole.1

brooklyn Eagle.l
"Now, my DEAR" said Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke, hurrying up to his wite's room,
''if you'll come down in the yard, I've
got pleasant surprise for you"
"What is it?'' asked Mrs. SpOopen-
"Guess again." grinned MIR. Spoop-
endyke. "It's something like horse" J"
81 knowI It's a new parlor carpet,
that's what it is !"
"No, it isn't either. l said it's some
thing like horse; that is, it goes when
you make it. Guess again"
"Is it paint for the. kitchen walls ?"
asked Mrs. Spoopendyke, innocently.
"No, it amt, and it amt hOgshead
of stove backing, nor it amt nice set
of dining-room furniture, nor it amt
seven gross of stationary wash-tubs.
Now guess again.
"Then it must be some lace curtains
for the sitting-rOOm windows. Isn't
that just splendid?" and Mrs. Spoop-
endyke patted her husband on both
cheeks and danced up and down with
delight.
"ft's a bicycle, that's what it is?"
growled Mr.. Spoopendyke. 81 bought
it for exercise, and Pm going to ride it.
Come down and see me-"
"Well' amt gladp' calculated Mrs.
Spoopendyke. "YOu ought to have
more exercise, and if there's exercise in
anything it's in bycicle. Do let's
see it,"
Mr.. Spoopendyke conducted his wife
to the yard and descanted at length on
the merits of the machine.
sin few weeks III be able to make
a mile a minute" he said, as he steadied
the apparatus against a clothes post
and prepared to mount. "Now you
watch me go to the end of this path"
He got foot into one treadle and
went head first into a flower patch, the
machine on top with a prodigious
crash.
Hadn't you better tie it up to the
post until yon get on? ?' suggested Mrs.
SpOOpendyke.
leave me alone, will YEP" demanded
Mr.. Spoopendyke, struggling to an even
keel. "I'm doing most of this myself.
Now you hold on and keep your mouth
shut. 1t takes little practice, that's
all"
Mr.. Spoopendyke mounted again and
scuttled off four or five feet and Topped
over on the grass plat.
''That's splendid" commenced his
wife. "You've got the idea already.
Let me hold it for you this time"
'If you've got any extra strength,
you hold your tongue, will YEP"
growled Mr.. Spoopendyke. cit don't
want any holding. 1t amt alive.
Stand back and give me room, now.p
The third trial Mr.. Spoopendyke am
bled to the end of the path and went
down all in heap among the flower
pots.
''That's just too lovely for anything!"
1xrly
made near mile a minute that time J"
"Come and take it OIL" roared |
Mr.. SpoOpendyke. "Help me upl bod |
gast the bicyclel'' and the the worthy |
gentleman struggled and plunged |
around like whale in shallow water. |
Mrs. Spoopendyke assisted in righting |
him and brushed him of.
81 know where you make your mis- |
take" said she. "The little wheel ought |
to go first, like buggy. Try it that
way going back"
"Maybe you can ride this bicycle bet
tor than O0n ~ baVVlO3 Mr.. -Spoopon-
dyke. "You know all about wheels. |
What you need now is lantern in |
your mouth and ten minutes behind |
time to be the city hall clock, if you had |
a bucket of water and a handle you'd |
make steam grindstone! Don't you |
"Yes, DEAR" murmured Mrs. SpOOp- |
but thought if you practiced |
some with the little wheel at first, you |
wouldn't have so far to fall"
"Who fell ?" asked Mr.. Spoopendyke. |
''Didn't you see me step of? l
all. Now, you watch |
me 90 back"
Once more Mr.. Spoopendyke started |
in, but the big wheel started round and |
looked Tim in the face, and then began |
TO stagger.
Look OUT" squealed Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke.
Mr.. Spoopendyke wrenched away, |
and kicked and struggled, but it was of
no avail. Down he came, and the bicy-
Gle was hopeless wreck.
"What'd ye want to yell for ~ he |
shrieked. "Couldn't you keep your
measley mouth shut? What dye think
y'are, anyhow, fog horn? bod gast |
this measley bicycle - and Mr.. SpOop-
endyke hit it a kick that doubled him
I'D like a bolt of muslin.
"Never mind my DEAR" consoled Mrs.
Spoopendyke. I'm afraid the exer-
else has been q little too violent any
way, and Pm rather glad you broke it,"
81 s'pose So" snorted Mr.. SpOopen-
sndyke. "There's sixty dollars gone"
"Don't worry, loye. I'll go without
The carpet and curtains, and the paint
will do well enough in the kitchen.
Let me rub you with arnica."
But Mr.. Spoopendyke was too deep
y grieved by his conduct TO accept any
,ffice at her hands, preferring to pun
sh her by letting his wounds smart ra-
her than to get well, and thereby re-
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