davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1881-08-11
Hadn't ANY Objections.

A lightning-rod man drove up to a
fine new house out West. and told the
man sitting in the door that he ought
to have lightning rods on it. The man
said he had not thought about it. but
had no objections. So the lightning
rod man put rod up on one corner
and asked the man who was still read
ing the newspaper, if he had any OBJ
sections to his putting up rods on tho
other corners, and the man said no.
When the job was done, the peddler
presented his bill.
s'What's this?" said the man, yawn-
ting and folding up his paper.
s'Bill for the rods" explained the
pe,idler.F
Rods! Ididnt order any rodsi"
'.Why, certainly you did.
'.Not at all. I only said I had no
objection to your putting them up.
And had't. This is the County Court
House. I don't even live in this house.
OF course had no objections. ."-Ec-
ch0y,0e 4t-f5. lf.45
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1881-08-11
Man Overheard.

A, good story is told of Fechter, the
actor: The great effect in piece in
which he was playing was the crossing
Of Il ship over the stage, the waves be-
ing due to the heads of q dozen small
boys working about under the canvas
ocean. But one night, as the ship
came gliding across the stage, with
Fechter as its captain standing in the
prov, there. in the midst of the watcry
waste. stood a small boy. The eyes Of
the audience were upon him. and the IL
lusions of the stage were about to give
way. when Fechter shouted, s.Man
overboardr' and, reaching out over the
waters as the ship sped on its way, Ec
seized the urchin by the shoulder and
lifted him over the bulwark into the
voSSol
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1881-08-11
Why Ha Qonldn,t.


II have stood this just as long as
canr' exclaimed citizen as he entered
o Woodward avenue grocery.
''Why. l sent your goods over an
hour ago" -,r
.'Well, then, discharge that driver.
Either that or I'll never trade another
dollar with you."
II shall be sorry to lose your GUS
tom."
"Then you won't discharge him?"
'Alas! no! on the contrary must
even raise his wages. Fact is. he is
engaged to no less than twenty-six
cooks on the Cass farm, and if the firm
above hire him away lose twenty-six
customers. All! sir, be moderate
bear with me-ovcrlook some delin-
quencies on account of the situation in
which l am placed. "-DetroI Free
Press.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1881-08-11
How Sarah" Got Some Wood Out.

Occasionally. yes, very often. wom-
an is more than match for man.
A farmer who was living in the out
skirts of New Haven was in o hurry to
get his farm work along, and went out
into the field with his boys and hired q
man, entirely overlooking the fact that
the last stick of wood in the woodpile
had been burned to get the breakfast.
Raging hungry the force came in at
noon. The good wife had the table
set with all the taste of which she was
mistress. and it really looked inviting,
but there was no dinner upon it. '.Sa-
rah, where's the dinner?'' inquired the
farmer somewhat anNiously. II don't
know whether it is done OF not. There
was no wood for a fire, so hung it in
the warmcst place could find. It's
on the ladder at the south side of the
house." The whole force was detailed
at chopping wood that afternoon.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1881-08-11
Dumas Pere as a Financier.

One fine morning a shoemaker calls
upon him to dun him for a 800 franc
bill.
81 haven't any money to-day" says
the author.
mo money! echoes the shoemaker.
.'That is all very well for you to say.
but here am losing my time running
after you. You don't think of that. "
az do" replies Dumas, land as l
don't wish to put you to any further loss
on my account, here are ten francs to
pay for your time -
The fierce creditor retires; returns
two days later; receives ten francs for
his trouble and loss of time; retires the
third morning afterwards and gets fif-
teen Gt being rainy day), and so on.
By punctuality and strict attention
to business the tradesman had received
$50 francs from the author of Monte
Cristo'' within the next three months,
and Dumas boot bill remained unpaid.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1881-08-11
A Strangers Advice.

Some time since Detroiter went to
Arkansas to look up some property
left by will. and in his wanderings he
put up one night with a farmer who had
not much to brag of in the way of a
house. There was one big room with
a garret above, and when it came bed
time the Detroiter was packed away
under the roof While he had met with
no adventures worth recording, he
knew that he was in a section where
every man is expected to look out for
himself. Therefore, before going to
sleep, he put his revolver under his pill
low and made up his mind what to do
in an emergency. About midnight
the emergency arrived. The Wolver-
inc heard some one in his room. and
he reasoned that robbery and murder
could be the only excuse. Out came
the revolver and he blazed away at
dim figure until he had fired six bull
lets. After the last one a voice in
quired:
Stranger, have you got through
shooting?n
..Who is it, and what do you wantP''
demanded the stranger.
s.It's me-" replied the farmer. ''The
old woman's got the tooth-ache till she
can't rest, and come to ask ye fur q
pinch of that fine-eut tobacker as
remedy. 1 was jest going to speak
when We blazed away with yer pop
gum
'.And might have killed your
Eyes. about one chance in million.
Say, stranger, let me gin ye piece OF
advice"
ssWell."
. '.Trade that pop-gun off for fifteen
cent drink and buy ye a knife. When
We hit with knife the splinters has got
TO fly, but when We begin shootin' with
sich irons as that ye are apt to spile all
tho old woman red peppers or shoot
yer own thumbs of. The fellers around
here have been poppin' away at me fur
three years back, and the only damage
they ever did was to knock a hind but
ton off INV coat - DetlQiE ELee BEeSS,
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1881-08-11
He Wanted to Die,

Douglass. the murderer of Alice
carp, under sentence of death at Vir-
ginia, Montana. recently expressed his
willingness to die. and in order that he
might note the flight of his remaining
hours of life. he induced the sheriff to
let him have a clock in his cell. 1t soon
stopped running. Examination showed
that the condemned man had taken off
about ten inches of the main spring, to
be used for saw. and had taken other
parts of the mechanism. He was then
Lake Tribune.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1881-08-11
A Brute.

It was to make him .'the right kind
of q boy" that father in Newark. o.,
subjected his son to q discipline that
borders dangerously near diabolism.
1.-The stick put on his tongue" said
he on the trial of the case, sswas a flat
hickory stick an inch wide, and one
fourth of an inch thick. split it back
over half way, put an ordinary carpet
tack in the top part of the stick, had
him put his tongue in,5 and pressed
down with my, thumb and finger. and
he pulled his tongue out put it on
several times. i punished him in this
way to make an impression on his
miad,n
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1881-08-11
A Meager Excuse,

The young man who pleads poverty
and meager salary as an excuse fO1
refraining from marriage will do well
to remember the pluck of Thomas A.
Scott, the great railroad magnate, and
Charles A. Dana. the great journalist.
The former embarked upon the matri-
monial sea with salary of fifty dollars
per month. and the latter with salary
of five dollars per week. Marriage.
however, was not the only thing that
made these men succeed. Buffalo Er-
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1881-08-11
The sdding Fes.

-
One morning, f1fty years aeo-e.- .-,.
When apple trees were white with snow
Unoss 8 fsrsnshorse, iarse and l lean,
And lazy, with its double load,
sun-brOwn youth and maid were seen
jogging along the winding road.
Rlue were the arches of the skies
Bat birfcr were that mHiden's eyesl
- Tho dey-irops on the grass wero bright,
But brighter was tho loving light
Thst spar<.ed meath each lOng-frinced lid
Where those bright eyes OF blue were hid;
Adown the shoulders, brown and bare,
!. i;lxh y lied the a soft waves Of golden hair,
Tho sun, willing sufferer, lay.
It was the fairest sight ween,
That the young man had ever seen:
And with his features I'll aeluw.
The happy fellow t. IL her 80,
And she, without the least surprise
looked on him wit h those heavenly eyes
Saw underneath that shade of tan
The handsome features of man,
And with joy but rarely known
She drew that de;ir fiIce to her own.
And by that brilal bonnet hid
cannot tell you what she did.
40 on they ride, until among
Tho newborn leaves with dew-drops hung,
The parsonage, arrayed in white,
Peers out-a more than welcome sight.
Then, with cloud upon his fnce.
= ssWhat shall we'do,' he turned to say,
From what is in the ,,ilIo w-caseY'
And glancing down, his eyes surveyed
Tue pfllow-cnsc before him laid,
Whose contents reaching to its hem,
Might purchase endless Joys for them.
The maiden answers: Let us wait:
To borrow trouble where's the needY
Then at the parsons squnakinR gate
Halted the more than willing stecd
Down from his holsa the bridegroom sprung;
Tho latchcss gate behind him swung;
The knocker of that startled door,
Struck as 1t never was before,
Brought the whole household, pale with fright;
And there, with bushes on his check,
So bashful he could hardly speak,
The farmer met their wondering sight.
The groom goes I'm, his errand tells,
And as tho parson nOds, he leans
Far o'er the window sill, and yells,
"Come in! lie says he II take the beansw
Oh,h she jumpedi With one glad bound ,
She and the bcan-bag reached the ground.
Then, claspinR with each dimpled arm
q. Tho precious product of the farm,
She bears II through the omen door,
And down upon the parlor floor,
Dumps the best beans vines ever bore.
All! happy were their songs that day,
When man and wife they rode away.
But happier this chorus still
v hich echoed through those woodland scenes: |
2. 'God bless the priest of Watsonvil'e!
iod bless the man who toak the bean.!'
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1881-08-11
Another Autocrat.

The King of Abyssinia cuts off the
noses of those who take snuff. and the
lips of those who smoke. The king is
hated more than Theodore was. Cruel
to degree, he does not. however, take
life. He cuts off the feet and hands of
people who offend him. He puts out
their eyes by pouring hot tallow into
their ears. You can buy nothing with
out the kings order; and no one will
shelter you without his order; in fact,
no more complete despotism could ex-
ist. 1t cannot last; for the king will go
on from one madness to another.-C0L
Gordon, an Central africa.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1881-08-11
Disraeli's Animosity.

An accomplished peer (still living).
who was a member of the House of
Commons when Disraeli was delivering
his philippics against Sir Robert Peel,
demonstrated with him after one of his
fiercest attacks. ''You are OVERRIDING
it," he said; ''you spoil the effect by
showing your animosity so openly"
''My animosityr' exclaimed Mr.. Dis
raeli. II admire Peel more than any
man living; but he slighted me, and it
is necessary to my position to prove
that cannot be sighted with impuni-
ty. have no influential connection; l
am fighting against great odds. and |
am obliged to use such weapons as l
find most Serviceab1eo
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1881-08-11
Another Autocrat,

The King of Abyssinia cuts off the
noses of those who take snuff, and the
lips of those who smoke. The King is
hated more than Theodore was. Cruel
to degree, he does not, however take
life. He cuts off the fe ct and hands of
people who offend him. He puts out
their eyes by pouring hot tallow into
their ears. You can buy nothing with
out the Kings order; and no one will
shelter you without his order--in fact.
no more complete despotism could exist.
1t cannot last. for the King will go on
from one madness to another.-COI
Gordon an Central 1fjIc0
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1881-08-11

In breach OF promise suit IN. Lon
don recently, where the defendent was
cast in heavy damages, the best his
counsel could say of him was that he
was such an egregrious donkey that
the lady, instead of asking for compen-
sation, ought to be glad of her escape.
He read some letters which illustrated
his views. One of them, addressed to
his beloved object. was quite unique as
a billet-doux; II mad n bit of beef to-
day. wish You were here to have a
bit. 1t would be nice cold with some
of the picked walnuts of your moth
cr's. Tell her to save me q few. L
know you will help yourself. for you
are such gid tQg vipegax,"
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1881-08-11

Papa was at his toilet, and his
youngest daughter, aged six, who had
found her way into his dressing-room.
was watching the progress of his shin
ing razor with the keenest interest.
Presently her elder sister came in
search of her, urging. "You must como
away, May, while Papa is shaving"
II guess not" retorted the little wit,
quickly; 81 can stay. cause I'm his lit
lie Shayerr'
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1881-08-11

It Is believed that the city of Boston
has saved many thousands of dollars
by the shrewd management of the pur-
chase of the land needed for storage
basin No. 4, on the line of Sudbury
river. Before the owners of the farms
were aware for what purpose the land
was to be used. the water board.
through an agent. had bonded them at
about their fair market value, and thus
avoided the necessity of paying the en-
HANGED prices that would .undouhtedly
have resulted had the land Owners 6rse
leaxDaa q the cjtY's lQH2ea
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1881-08-11

State Senator Burton, colored, of
Fort Bend county Texas, is estimated
to be worth $4,000. He is an educat-
ed man. While slave in Virginia he
was taught reading and writing by his
mistress. She was made very poor du-
ring the war and he showed his appre-
citation of her instruction i'm former
days by supporting her in adversely un-
til death. On her daughters wedding
day he sent her a 81 700 check. The
whole of his property has been acquired
in Texas
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1881-08-11

A sailor was recently brought before
a magistrate for beating his wife, when
the magistrate attempted to reach his
heart by asking him if he did not know
that his wife was the weaker vessel?"
'If she is she ought not to carry SO
much sail,' replied Jack
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1881-08-11

The dog of u farmer ut Kickapoo.
ILL.,, dug into a gravel and sand bank
for a skunk, throwing the dirt behind
him. After he had caught and killed
the skunk he found himself impris-
oned. When he emerged, sixteen days
afterward, he was very lean dog.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1881-08-11
A Fashionable Fancy.

In Paris, that city of notions, dessert
wines are slipped into satin cache
the corks of which are heads
with hair dressed in the fashion of the
country whence the wine is produced.
Alicante is in a pink satin bottle. and
the cork or stopper is Spanish girl
with high comb. Port wine is in a
garnet or ruby satin. with an Oporto
beauty for lis stopper, and she holds a
fan in her hand. Pajarete wine is in a
bottle of satin, with a
cork. &c.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1881-08-11

The Philadelphia Netos says: ''The
first man to stop drinking whisky in
Texas is a newspaper man, of course"
1t pains us to learn that there is at least
one newspaper man in this country
who must at one time have commenced
drinking the vile stuff. Living in Tex
as. lie probably took it for snake bites.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1881-08-11

DROF. POULTNEY wonld inform the peo.
pie of Ravenna that he is hand and
ready to do all jobs OF Whitew ashing that may
be intrust@d to him. in q neat and workmanlike
manner. All orders left at his residence, ION
Eass Street (:amiliarly known rs Ricketty
Row, being the sixth house south. OF corner.
or at the Grocery Store of J. H. Furry, will
receive pronpt attention. 80.
Raysnaa. April n. 1aM. eA
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1881-08-11

The fly that walks on oleomargal1e
in not the bataarA9. %>s-.s -.s1i
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1881-08-11
Business Cards.

@TOTARY PUBLIC, Mantua. o. Con-
IN veyancing, Collections and Pension Bnsi-
ness promptly attended to on the most reason
Able ter1ns 612-tf. 4
The Dallas weekly herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1885, 1881-11-10
A Strong Tenn.

We beg to call the attention of the read
ers of the HERALD to the card OF Sydney
Smith Il Co. on the 9th page. Mr.. Smith
has for the past seven years been engaged
in the farm and mill machinery business in
Texas and is doing one of the largest BUSH
nesses in his line in the state, having many
times thoroughly canvassed the state him
self and by his travelling men, he knows
exactly the class of goods that are needed
and which will meet the wants
of those dealing in his line. No one is more
conversant with his line of goot,s han he
Mr.. Godbold for nine years has been with
the banking house of Adams IL Leonard
and held with them the most responsible
position in the house, and is known
throughout the business community for
his reliability and thorouehness and has
won the esteem and respect of all who have
had business relations with him. Sydney
Smith & Co. advertise in this issue a line of
farm and mill goods, tor which they are
agents and dealers, and having am
Pile capital can purchase as low as
any house anywhere. They propose to sell
to all at prices equal to any house in, the
land It is no new business with the firm,
as they have at present very large trade,
and propose to increase it extensively. We
bespeak for them continued success.
The Dallas weekly herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1885, 1881-11-10
No Controversy Between Arthur and
MacVeagh.

WASHINGTON, November 7.-Ex-Sec-
rotary Window referring in a CONVERSE
ton to-day to the reported difference of
opinion between President Arthur and At
torney-General MacVeagh at recent meet
ing of the cabinet, said that while he does
not think it proper to discuss the nature Of
the business transacted at that meeting he
has no hesitation in saying the published
out foundation. Nothing occurred to war
rant the assertion that there was any exhi-
bition OF i'll feeling on the part of either of
the gentlemen Thequestions under consid-
Grafton were discussed in most friendly
spirit without excitement or disagreement,
and no personal criticisms were made by
any one. Contrary to the report the sec
rotary added that the meeting was per-
fectly harmonious in every respect.
The Dallas weekly herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1885, 1881-11-10
A Wife's Nursing.

As a rule married ladies are good nurses
and understand how to care f. their liege
lords when sickness befalls hem, but they
all have to learn, and by experience, and
amusing instances now and then, result
from the reckless manner in which they
make mistakes. 1t is to a beginner, and a
most excellent lady she is, too, that we
refer here. Her husband was afflicted with
a severe cold, and the physician left, among
other medicines, gargling oil for the throat,
a cough mixture, to be taken internally,
and lot of iodine, to be applied to his
administered with q vim, and startling re-
suits followed. She mistook his gargle for
his cough mixture, and laboring under the
impression that the virtue of iodine con-
sisted in the quantity used she smearsd it
on until she almost burned le' in the
poor fellow, whom the gargle had thrown
into terrible coughing fit. The patient is
recovering
The Dallas weekly herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1885, 1881-11-10

internal foyenne, INSTRUCTED ire collector. Of
Illicit diNllefy distfitts Throughout we
south, 10 thoroughly Inspect helt dstfi,W
and report w November 10th. To-day VIC
first fesponsc 10 lhO order was received
from Colonel Clarke of Atlanta, Georgia.
who says that, upon receipt of the lns'r i,.,
lions Of the commissioner, lle ~ onoo sol,i
out six division deputies, With SIX employed
men. The result Of the Investigation Is
stated by Clarke rs follows; The captures
were five distIllerics and over sig Thousand
gallons of mash and beer. The deputy col
lectors report n marked improvement In
every county visited and say that the peo-
pie are more inclined to furnish iniorim1 ma.
ton and respect the laws. Trusted guides
and informers who had previously Even
reliable information to the revenue oihcers
were visited, but no information could DC
obtained from them. Property. owners ana ma
other good citizens were of the opinion
that but little more work would berequired
to entirely suppress the violations ofreye-
nue. laws in their respective states.
The Dallas weekly herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1885, 1881-11-10
The Election in Pennsylvania.

PHILADELPHIA, Pa, November ga
light vote is being polled in the districts
heard from, and balloting is so mixed that
the usual balloting predictions
are not ventured upon. The independent.
candidacy of Mr.. Wolfe for the office. OF
state treasurer is attracting much attention
in the f'ecuth, twenty second, twenty
fourth az rwenty-ninth wards, but in the
greater, of the city considerable apathy
is show ~ at particular. The warmth
of the struggle here centers in the
offices If city commissioner, and
trading Of candidates is actively carried on.
In the republican wards many democratic
votes arr secured to therepublican candi-
date for state treasurer in exchange for
votes for Haggerty and Mcnamara, demo-
cratic candidates for city. commissioners,
but there are strong hopes for the success OF
Carson and Krumbhaar, Independent candi-
dates for the last named Offices Representa-
tires of the commission of one hundred are
supplied with both republican and demo-
cratic tickets for state treasurer and re,
corder ofdeeds, but the names OF Carson and
Krumbhaar are appended to each.
The Dallas weekly herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1885, 1881-11-10
Save Your Hair-Keep 1t d eautiful.

The "London Hair Color Restorer" is
the most delightful article ever introduced
to the American people, and is totally dif-
ferent from all other restorers, being entire
ly free from all impure ingredients
that render many other articles for the mar
the hair exists, or prematurely grayness
from sickness, or other causes, its use will
restore the natural youthful color, and
cause healthy growth, cleansing the scalp
from all impurities, dandruf, ETC., at the
same time a most pleasing and lasting hair
dressing, fragrantly perfumed, rendering
the hair soft and pliable, making it an in
dispensible article in every toilet. Ask your
druggist for London Hair Color Restorer
Price rs cents a bottle. Six bottles, 81
Main depot for the United States, $50 North
Sixth street, Philadelphia.
The Dallas weekly herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1885, 1881-11-10

The management for the Jockey Club
races, to come off at this city, commencing
December 9th and lasting four days. have
secured from the Houston & Texas Central
railroad company special passenger rates
for ali who may attend the races travelling
over that line. Major j. Waldo, general
freight and passenger agent, in response to
the solicitation, says: "We will will make
special rates for passengers going to and
from the races at Dallas, 9th December
next" 1t is expected that all other roads
this is going to be splendid meet. Some
stables have already arrived, and Others
will be here in few days, when the HERALD
will give the horses pedigrees, etc.