The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1881-06-08
HUMOR.

Make weather predictions II you want
to be talked about,
II minister can receive the title OF
"Dr, " why cannot physician have the
title of "Rev. ?"
Brady was no actor, and yet no had
stage route laid for himself and was
the biggest kind Of an asterisk.
Fight LIES battles in the easiest way.
Remember that 1t is the sutler, not the
soldier, who makes money out OF war.
Boston Transcript.
Inc man who can find out why fish
won't bite when the wind blows from
the east can draw on fifty different men
for new hat.
Perhaps some one can tell why it Is
that the more apples taste like saw-dust
The higher price they bring. Is there
any scarcity OF saw-dust in this country
The latest way of approaching New
Yorker is TO ask; "IIow much do you
think you'd sell forP' Everything smart
always comes from New York.
The Mormon Bishop who will marry
family OF pretty girls and then have
thelr mother sealed to an unprotected
deacon is mean man.
In one week sixty-six vessels arrived
and departed from Hong Kong, and out
OF that number only one was an Ameri-
can. Doesn't that look as if we ruled
the wave?
Watch your cat. II her hair bristles
up, her eyes roll and her teeth cla.ter
together, 1t is.a sure Indication Of an
earthquake, and you should 90 and pay
your debts.
AT fire in Greenpoint, N. Y, in
box factory, a negro named Carsons
found he must take drop OF forty feet,
and he cried out, 'Look out down dar.
Tor lie coming down wild a bangr'
Philadelphia is place where the cir
Gus goes to stay during the winter, after
the tenting season is over. The animals
OF the different menageries enjoy the
quiet OF the town.-N o. Ptcayuae.
The Boston Post is authority for the
following plausible lie: "a South End
girl thanked man who gave her his
seat in street car, and he married her
and proved TO be worth $500, 200.
when | was young man." saws the
philosopher Billings" | was always in
hurry to hold the big end of the log
and do all the lifting; now am older
| seize hold of the small end and do ali
the grunting."
DR.. Watts sings that birds in their
little nest agree" but London ornith-
ologist boldly asserts that there are az
many domestic rows in birds nests as
among the barnyard fowls. The small
est bird usually is the noiciest and
tiercest.
Any one would suppose, from viewing
the piles OF cheap pistols in the pawn,
brokers windows, that they were sold
by the bushel. No wonder every loafer
carries one, and that they find their
way into the Jail. Chicago News.
There are nearly 100000 rabbits
cooked and put into cans for export in
Australia in single year. OCCASIONAL
~ hauSaioO Seto III WIN lne rest, out
it is all the same. Nobody will kick
about il except the kangaroo. -Nev
York Nail.
Who said that house divided against
itself could not stand? Turkey has had
was or revolt or riot in every province,
and been under the thumb of Europe,
for the past four or five years, and yet
she stands up like decision of the SUI
preme Court.
Eyes" said the tramp, 'they talk
about the charitable institutions of Bos-
ton. Now, man can 90 down to the
Hawkins Street Home and get supper
and lodging, and he's got to saw foot
Of wood to pay for it By snakes, sir,
don't call that charity. "-BoSton Post. |
1t takes Boston man for shrewdness.
Mr.. Ragbag wanted to mash couple
of pretty girls who stood before a mil
liners window, and he paused and in |
ecstacy exclaimed: "What a love of a |
bonnetm And both those girls thoughts
"There's man that any woman could
be happy with. Post
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