The Emporia weekly news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1881-1889, 1881-12-08
HERE AND THERE.

that TIE pOSlnASteE-5cuCIGl totecu va iC- |
ducing letter postage 10 two cents he
burst into happy tears.
The Burlington Patriot Civ. S This very
apt definition of an independent PAL or
San independent paper is one that is
afraid that both sides are going to win"
The new attorney general is bound to
be a bigger man than Wayne Mac
Veagh, unless Tom Thumb can be pre-
vailed TO accept position in the new
cabinet
A ST. Louis paper says that woman
of that city ''has gained a National rep
utation as a maker of boxing gloves
The name of her unhappy husband is
not gwen.
Burand, the editor of Punch, is the
unhappy father of fourteen. children.
This will explain the mournful pa,
thos which pervadcs the alleged jokes
in that paper.
The question has been mooted wheth-
er Guiteau or Judge Cox will deliver
the charge to the jury in the case now
pending at Washington against the as
sassin of James A. Garfield.
1t is suspected by the Boston Globe
that great many fathers have ascer-
tAincd that the man was right who said
Learning is well enough, but it hqrdly
pays TO give So. 900 education to a So
boy"
1t may be that Secretary Blaine is 60
ing to retire from public life, but there
is an aspiring curl to his ''plumc" which
is not strictly reassuring to the parties
who are anticipating a frolic ut his
political wake.
1t is stated that ninety crauks have
been arrested at Washington since The
assassination of President Garfield. 1t
seems that the work of corraling the
Greenblck party is progressing in a
highly satisfactory manner.
A Michigan man horri6ed his m tiher-
in law one day last week by talking
with all of his old-,ime facility after be-
ing mute for period Of len years
There is still some hopeof President Ar
thurs regaining the use Of his tongue.
j. II. Russell, the man Who killed
John Smarr at Kansas City in cold blood,
some weeks ago, has been indicted for
murder In the first degree. We don't
know of any man in the country that
needs hanging worse, unless it may he
Guiteau.
1t is intimated that Guiieau's counsel
will make shrewd effort TO amelioraie
popular prejudice against their client by
emphasizing the fact that amid all the
vicissitudes of his crooked career it has
not yet transpired that he was ever u
book agent.
David Davis has appointed as senate
restaurant keeper the widow of a man
who was famous in his day as Il WASH
ington caterer. This phase of civil ser
vice reform viii doubtless be lou lily
denounced by the disappointed IN IL, as
pirants to the position. !
4 Boston paper devoted to evangelical
interests. offers among other premiums
to subscribers, fine line of revo,yers
warranted to kill at long range" The
publishers seem to have hit upon very
novel but feasible scheme for the popu-
larization of a religious journal in Texas
The year 1881 is getting old but it
gives no token up tn the time of going
to press of weakening on the calamity
racket which has made it SO famous. We
see it announced in the same paper that
Gail Hamilton is going to lecture and
that Victoria Woodruff has returned
from Europe after an absence of five
years.
The most humorous newspaper pub
lished in the country Is in Delaware Ii
protests against the admission of more
new states until they can show a popu-
lation emitting them ito rank with other
states" 1t was Gath, of the Cincinnati
Enquirer, who said that Delaware con.
sisted of three peach orchards and the
Bayard family.
Boston Post: A culcha'd lecturer OF
: Boston stated in his lecture that black
bear could hug seven times as hard as q
man, and the next time a menagerie
visited Boston every girl in the crowd
made eyes and waved her handkerchief
at the black bear, and paid him so much
attention that he got confused and
blushed.
II see there is talk of celebrating the
centennial birthday of Daniel Webster
. which will occur on the 18th day O
January, 1882. How well remember
when he used to sit on my lap when hi
. was little boy and beg me to tell hin
about Pharaoh's daughter and other lit
tie girls that 1 used TO play with il
Egypt"-Susan B. Anthony.
Inter Ocean: The American pig agair
] walks to the front across the Atlantic
J They cannot make much Roadway eithel
9 in love or war without the A. p. Il,
1 has rooted large hole for himself in tn,
: worlds commerce, and when he goe
E out nothing else seems TO itin the place
: 1t is just as well to treat the pig fairly
: His home is in America, and he ha
come to stay.
An Idaho lawyer recently receives
5 5000 for aiding in the acquittal of
q murderer. The prisoner was ready t
prove that he had eaten mince pie th
y night before the homicide was commii
: ted, but as the plea of mental alteration
!. was established in seventy-five othe
d ways, his counsel did not attempt t
8 show that he was addicted to the afort
!; said article of diet.
Z The Marriage Benefit Association
u craze took hold in Indiana about tw
V months ago, and has run its courss
+ The first organization was started i
Union City, and is about to come I
: grief 1t has recently sent out asses:
4 ments Of $L5S per member for mar
it riages. This assessment dissuades par
IS ties who would otherwise marry fror
I entering into the bonds.
: John Worden, of Haysville, sedgwic,
: county, was severely bitten last Saturaa
!, by mai muIc, which held on to hi
{ fingers with such bulldog tenacity tina