The Saline County journal. [volume] (Salina, Kan.) 1871-1893, 1881-05-19
JOURNAL JAReON.

JOURNAL JAno0N.
BY JOSHUA SHORT.
Every elephant carries his own
trunk.
A round dozen-twelve oranges.
Steep prices are suitable I'm teas.
The erratic fellow Of the New York
NcwS refers to Sitting Bull As "Squat.
ting Bovine"
1t don't require an experienced actor
to perform his duty.
The conversation Of the lackadaisical
female Is sigh toned.
Mortgages Of real estate continue tO
gain ground.
When people become weary of life
why Is IL that they sometimes vslun-
tarily take il?
All in form-the three letters that
compose the word.
John In reply to your question
would say that straight jackets are
made for crooked people.
Come, let's go to your rope" as
sOner."-EmiQuc. A very curious
hvChs- pIcssIOu, tIuiN
Jacob did not deserve TO be pit-ed by
his brethren.
Sad 10 state, bare faced lies are not
always told without avail
IT'S not always the early bird that
gathers the wornIs.-frequently it's the
boy vino eats green fruit.
Because IA landlord bids his guests
fare well, j. no sign that hes going
away.
Chickery mixed with ground coffee
is not what it's cracked up Ia Ice. It's
but few "feiiers" that can crack such
a joke as this.
It's far easier to accept the situation
when it's AN easy one with large sal
airy attached.
Take mad dog and spell il backw
and you have csiiIse and effect. 7rOt-
ter. .Ssuc yfhyuoR u1y no.
Let us have mercy-all we can get
ofit-the more the nerrier, but let no
guilty man escape.
L. S-We started out to say some
thing about temperance and its bane-
full influence, I'VE didn't mean 10 say
l,aneful, but will let il go now, how
ever il has on the very best Of men,
hut in some unaccOuntable manner
forgot the exact stand We wished Ia
take (Of course we did not mean to
say anything funny, but perhaps some
Of our perusers who are not very exact
ing can find i'm il amusement al infR-
Hum. y. B.-Ad infaituii is latin and
means something.
\ few days since Salinaite be-
thought himself of purchasing an
equine charger for riding purposes.
Accordingly he took one on trial,
mounted him ans. rode off, then fell
off. The horse might have been to
blame, or our wouid-be purchaser
might have been poor rider, or even
both might have been the cause of the
above disaster. However our Salina-
lite did not purchase the charger; not
because, as he stated, he had any Oh
lection Ia his rare accomplishments
but merely because he thought he had
the heaves.
Times haven't changed much. Oh
the whole, since 400 years ID. G., or
else history is trying to get i'm one of
her rcpetitiOns OH us. Because Socra-
toned for the comprehension Of his
cOuntrymen he was condemned to
drink poison. Let anyone undertake
such thing now and the poisonous
draughts our critics would give him
would dispose of him more expedi-
tiOusly than any that the Athcnians
could possibly compound. We may
he ahead Of them in that respect.
SELECTED JARGON.
Cry of the bogus checks-'Save us,
cash Us, or we dic."-Trott,r.
Fear the silence of the earnest man.
E. ID Taylor.
Overlook the faults Of those who try
To do some good in the wOrld.-.HiH-
Hdte,. LuDiJerB3dn.
Morning papers should always come
in wrappers.- Webster Times.
Swift has found new comet and
thereby hangs tail.-Ne1 York NcWs.
Young ladies' and elephants attain
their growth ut eighteen. But here
the analogy ceases. One trunk is suf-
ficient for an ELEPHANT ockidnd
Courier.
The wealthy man walks out to get
an appetite for brcakf fast, and the
tramp to get breakfast for his appe-
tite, and thus the world rolls on
Modern AryO.
''She rather had me-" exclaimed
Charley TradOller, "when she offered
to give me kiss for a blow If I'D
stop Dragging. "-EITutic Enrique.
She was the typos first mash, but
her mother came in and stopped the
press.-NcU York NcUs.
The Oakland girl never resents q
slight or injury inflicted by her lover.
She is tranquil, self-centerei and su-
periOr To temper, but with sleepless
and impenitent malevolence, she
awaits her opportunity and marries
him alive.-.Sdn Francisco UidsD.