The weekly clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1863-1882, 1881-09-29
ALL SORTS.

ANP91t that tue GTemat0EF
Nashlngston, Pa, was going out
favor is denied. 1t appears that lots
people are just dying to get into it
Boston Transcript.
"0h, dear me. remarked Celest
langudly, really, l don't know wis
the book is. | only selected it becaus
the binding matched my complexion
I-Stubensville Herald.
Photographers call your attention t
a rusty nail or something and tell YOU t
look pleasant. No wonder 50 MANY q
them fail. Why don't they hire a prett,
girl for fellow TO look at?
The New York Evening Express. i
/ publishing an account of the marriap
OF William King of Gloucester COUNTY
New Jersey, to his own mother-in-law
remarks that he is "liable to punish
ment. 1t is quite probable.
The present style of ladies' evenin,
dress is the low and behold stvle.-.
Vanity Fair
What would our little big men do i
the phrase "well known" was expunree
from the Newspapers IN. Y. News.
The lawyer who climbs up on chair
after book gets little higher in order
that he may get little lore.-Peora
Transcript,
There Is man in Albany whose name
Is Bean, and his business is to sell pop
corn. Familiarly he is known as "Suc.
cotash. N. Y. Telegram.
Amuseular young man in Jersey CITY
dressed up in female attire. and in a
walk Of an hour Knocked eight mashers
into the middle of next week.-Detroit
Free Press.
Il would like you to make an item to
the effect that my war paint this season
will be more lurid than ever before.
can lick Sam Iilded with one hand tied
behind me. u. Kelly,
so John Kelly has dug up the hatch
ct, has he? When l open my fall
stock Of hardware and cutlery, Mr..
Kelly will think he is a small retailer
on back street. '-S. j. Tilden.
In some States the evidence of a man
who habitually goes fishing twice year
will not be received in the courts. The
reason for this bit of judicial wisdom is
obvlous.-Burlington Hawkeye.
The utterly utter kind of talk has
infected the street gamins, one of whom
after picking up more than usual fra
grant cigar stump, exclaimed to his
friend Jack, this is quite too positive
ly bully. Boston Transcript.
The correspondent who wrote from
Saratoga that Miss A-has the
danties feet of any belle here" had to
leave town suddenly when the paper
arrived with the superlative adjective
to "dirtiest. "-Phila. Record.
| notice that considerable space is de-
voted by the Newspapers to my alleged
stealing of $1,000. Do not forget that
the white troops also fought nobly
Captain HoWgate's embezzlement now
foots up over S100, 200. Lieutenant
Flipper
The newspaper editor who suggested,
few weeks ago, that Nepnor should be
put at the head Of the United States
signal service, is understood to have left
the country, probably to remain perma-
nently in xile,-Phila Bulletin.
We breath easier. The rumor that
the "Sweet BYE and Bye" was written
while the author was drunk proves to
be false. 1t was merely written in the
expsetetion ef getting money enough
to get drunk on. Quite difference, as
will be seen. New Haven Register.
"The handspring of Italian music in
the eighteenth century" says a recent
writer, "was the exclusive and passionate
worship of the human voice" But
Italian music has experienced change.
Its handspring is how in box, and is
worked with handle.---N. Y. Sun.
"If ! was as bald as YOU said Gus
lie Smith to one Of the most prominent
sitizens Of Austin, - would wear
wig
Il dept see why you should ever
wear wig" was the quiet response;
San empty barn don't need any roof. -
Texas Slftings.
Miss Schafer, the EImira girl who
took the prize of 5000 q short time ago
for being the handsomest woman in
Now York State, has become insane,
and is confined in a lunatic asylum.
Her physicians claim that her brain has
become affected by the use of acids
for the purpose of coloring her hair.
The town of Fall River, in Masschu-
setts, gained twice as much money by
the manufacture of 100000 bales of
cotton as New Orleans did the same
year by handling 100000 bales.
The stamp duty in Great Britain of
three pence on each pack ofplaying cards
amounted in the last financial year to
the net sum Of G14.652 l3s. ad.
In Paris the mortality for the entire
year 1880 exceeded that Of 1879, having
progressively increased from the year
1872, when it was 1926 to 1880 in
1886.
The Auditor of Virginia reports that
there are 1877 1876 white and ia, 1913
colored voters in that State, total Of
301 ,380 The total vote for President
a year ago was 217 ,6l5,
Il taka nay text this mornin, said a
colored preacher, ''from dat potion of
de Scripture whar de Postol Paul pints
his pistol to de Fesions. - Rochester
Express.
4 health journal says "an attack of
hiccoughs may be stopped by holding
the head under water" 1t doesn't say
how long the head should be held under
water, but we should think about two
hours would be plenty long enough TO
stop the worst case of hiecoughs ever
-Nerristown Herald.
An Arizona boy killed himself with a
pistol because his mother wouldn't give
him money to go to a circus. The boys
are all reading this to pa and ma
Courier Journal.
A Massachusetts, mili-owner sues a
man for watering SIX head of cattle in
his mill-pond. The cattle drank enough
to stop the mill for 40 minutes, and the
damages are laid at 23.-Detroit Free
Press
A correspondent sending us a noetical
for our waste basket says :
81 am a southron" At the same time,
I G Yni0hr as we'll ba a northrou Rad