The Osceola times., 1881-12-10
WAYS or THE WORLD.

AMERICAN oleomargarine is sold il
England under the name OF HOLLAND
butter"
The undertaker's little squib: 81 hav,
always thought that in the drama o
life the biggest things were the rehears
ais"
The editor of Punch has fourteen
daughters. He'll have lively time i
he undertakes to board all Of his sons
in-law.
THE Office of the secretary of the
navy is overrun with ofiice.seekinl
ladies' The old tar will have to man the
life-boat.
IT has always been mystery to Young
America why the thinest portions OF the
cloth were put into the knees and seats
Of pants.
IT IL said that in one square mile in
London where the poorest people con-
gregate over So 900, 900 year is spent in
strong drink.
"PAPA," said a sweet little girl, docs
you pite all your foughts wiz bottle OF
fink?" ~ fink so." was the grave re-
ply.--Hockensack Republican.
EDITORS in this country are always be-
hind the age. In Ireland the editors
carry the papers about and trade them
for died meat and whisky.
LIVES OF witty men remind us, tis not
the pun or witty chat, that leaves quo
tation marks behind us, and causes all
the world to laugh.-Lukens'
The feminine hare and hound clubs
In the East are furiously and dress pictur-
esquely. Many male persons go out to
stare whenever there is hunt.
"WHY is it," asked lady, "that so
many people lc.e their interest in church
going now a-days?"--B Because they have
lost their principle" was the witty re-
ply"
"WHATa blessing It is," said a hard.
working Irishman, shat night niver
GENES on till late in the day when a
man is tired and can't work any more at
oil, at ALL"
GEORGE AUGUSTUS SALA declares that
the books and pictures exposed for sale
at Paris were never 50 bad in the most
corrupt times of the Empire as in the
present republican epoch.
A NEGRO woman living in Meridian,
Miss, has given birth in thirteen years
to fourteen children, six pairs of the
children being twins. The father of
these children, who is sixty-four years
of age, is the father of thirty-seven living
children.
TEXAS sells annually four hundred
thousand head OF cattle At $40 per
head it foots up grand aggregate of S.
000,O00.O00. According to the census re-
turns, Texas in 1878, cultivated 2,l7S,732
acres of cotton; producing S02,643 bales
worth Si0,000,000.
All Dearest friend and must we part9
And bid farewell with augnish'd tone
'Tis like drge upon the heart
When every earthly joy has flown,
But memry's voice will tenderly
Assuage our heart depressing woe,
II you will but fork out that "v'
We loaned you Charley. long ago.
OF CITY Derrick.
THE making of picture frames is an
important and rapidly growing business.
The leading art firm purchase American
frames in preference TO importing them
from France. In the largest manufac-
tory of mouldings in the country, 10000
feet of timber are used daily.
RuFrs HATCH, the well.known New
York speculator, became one day in
August last the happy father of baby.
He bought for him some corn an hour
or two after his birth, and in less than a
week profit 5000 was realized, which
has been invested for the lucky infant in
United States bonds.
The New York Tribune says of the
spectators in front Of Booths theatre:
1T is almost impossible to enter that
theatre without being deafened by the
braying of some impudent iackass or
other, who insists on selling tickets,
whether or no, and who can only be
effectually sluelched with club
A rAsrIpIous Poughkeepsie girl has
written TO all the presidents of the prin-
cipal colleges in this country to inquire
whether she should say "mumps is" or
"mumps are" Some of the presidents
spoke feelingly of zone mump," while
others were tenacious OF zone mumps."
1t is strange that authorities differ on
such vital questions.
A sroNEMAsoS of Sherwood, Quebec,
named Salter, while in an angry mood,
left his home and ordered his supper at
a neighboring hotel. Among the della
cacies called for was beefsteak, of which
ut pittph ftNfbOuslN. NuuutHlN lie
jumped up from the table, violently
clasped his hands to his throat, and fell
dead. A large piece of masticated steak
had stuck in his windpipe,
WHEN Gladstone rises to speak, he
claps his hands behind his back. This at.
ttude prevails, however, only during the
opening sentences. Once warmed up
his gestures are rapid, almost furious.
When addressing the House of Com
mons, he will take the brass bound box
on the table as representative OF "the
right honorable gentleman" or "the no.
BILE lord" opposite, and beat it violently
with his right. Or standing with his
heels closely pressed together and feet
spread fan-wise, so that he may turn as
ona pivot. TO watch the effect of bis
speech, he will assume that the palm of
of his left hand is his adversary
at the moment, and straight way
he beats upon it with his right hand
with the utmost ferocity.