The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1881-02-10
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DEAR ADVANCE: Has it ever occur
red to you that the interior Of this high
State Of Minnesota, these noble plains,
or the vast vastness would be one Of
the most desirable spots on earth to
bury ones soul in, an cases in this des-
ert of life, where one could find an ev-
erlasting grave, where cremation
might be done at small figure, where
unnecessary expense in all Its details,
such as hack hire. floral decorations,
&C., could easily be done away with:
in the following manner: Stand alone.
Then when nature has supplied q gen.
eral suficiency Of withered meadow,
set it aflame and see how easily all this
could be done. r., s 5.= #. rss;= E.. :: :; =
Or live in somo wonderful town on
the Sioux City & st. Paul Railway,
where all conveniencies Of life are
most munificently distributed to it's
highly gifted settlers; where, fuel is as
as easily gotten as quartz in the Rock
les, and ranging at small figures
(unmentionable fearing that the coun-
try would be overrun with settlers
from all parts of the EARTH and where
freight tariffs are at a most sacrificing
figure, almost ruination. But what
will not this corporation do for the
benefit of the country which runs with
i'll its limits. Barely mention this and
nothing more.
Or where news from the outer world
come rarely, or Tar between, how much
dearer seems all this, than the common
privileges of our eastern friends, where
the news is in daily circulation and
must become monotonous in the ex-
IRENE. Why should we complain in
deed. Please mention this.
Where mails are promptly and spec
tally delivered, whereby an important
privilege. Please mention this and
nothing more.
Where foreclosures and duns are
not done at all. Oh no, not here. Please
speak lightly and drink your own health
standing. Respectfully,
LUNACY.
Call off your dogs of winter again,
won't you.
Thrash, thrash, thrash, while they
don't half earn their hash, but folks
will have'm, for mouths must de fed,
so we yank the stacks from their VIM
ter bed.
Some are down with bad colds, and
some laid up with epizoonotic.
There's something III the air. sure.
Our quiet town is quietly disintegrat-
ing its sociability, and one neighbor
will peep suspiciously at another's
frontispiece as though he ''seed suth-
in.:'- [See Byron's dream.]
And now Wilmont's at it!
Hoity-toity! The Worthington cancer
has reached its feelers into the country
flesh, and they too-fight.
"Doff that lions hide, for shame,
and hang a calf-skia on those recreant
limbs.''
The great planets must be in perth
lia," sure, when the great warriors get
up such bery-hellion. Hurr,h for
the winner! Charge, Chester, charge!
ETC., &C., and 50 on. Save the frag-
ments. Elk wants q relic. Hicks
Jacket-Beeky scat to- pieces! Qaien
Sabe? -
The warm weather of the past week
has seemed strange. Therm. mp to 400
we sweat. Don't make that
word spell swear.)
Everybody is jubilant over the pros
pect of good crops. Our ''oldest inl,.b-
itant'' says, poor crop never follow
such a winter.
Corn is still snow-bound. What
meant the sudden lighting of the north
ern heavens the other night. 1t lasted
about three seconds. Possibly it's the
headlight Of the north pole Oh its way
south.
The ''battle of the beer" furnishes
food for fun out IN. the country. We
hope they will continue the good fight
and not choke themselves OH the article
behind the door.
Quasi detectives and quon-dam re-
formers-hurrah again-We're begin
ming to feel good.
Phenix didn't get but halfway out
of the ashes. Seems to here, that we've
read somewhere that marriage in the
U. s. is a civil contract, and per SO is
binding where there is proof, whether
ratified" by an officer or not. How is
it, Pheno, can there he ''trouble" made
with any but the ''officer?" Go ahead
Benedicts, the trouble can't reach you.
Uncle Sam says your contract is civil,
and as long as you civilly live up to it,
you and yours are all right.
PROD.
VACCINE 1ION.
We notice that the subject of vacci-
nation is under discussion now. and in
some places compulsory vaccination is
urged. In England and in some of the
Eastern States there is much -,opposi-
ton to compulsory vaccination. We
should have no objection to the vacci-
nation of any person who elects to he
thus poisoned, but to compel people to
submit to such process is a barbar-
ism aud an infamy which should he re-
sisted to the last. There is no ques.
ton whatever about the fact that con-
sumption, cancer, and all varieties of
onrnfs,1o,,o ASo4ocne