Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1881-06-08

BANGi
'On, dear, dear, dear know it struck
something. Mortimer We never shall SET
the light OF another day and if il will dc
you any good 10 remember, when we are
gone, that your dreadful language -Morti.
meri
swell! What now 2"
Your voice sounds as if-Mortimer, are
you actually standing in front of that open
fireplace?'
'That is the very crime am commit.
ting"
sect away from il this moment. You
do seem determined to bring destruction on
us all. Don't you know that there is nc
better conductor for lightning than an open
chimneys Now where have you got TOT"
'1'm here by the window"
''Oh, for pity sake, have you lost your
mind Clear out from here this moment.
The very children in arms know that il is
fatal to stand near a window In a thunder
storm. Dear, dear, know l shall never
see the light of another day. Mortimer n
yes"
"What is that r,lsthng?"
'.It's me
'What are you doing ?''
"Trylng to find the upper end of my
pantaloons
''Quick throw them things awayl do
believe yon would deliberately put on
those clothes at such tine as this; Yet
you know woolen stuffs attract lightning.
Oh, dear, dear, it isn't sufficient that one s
life must be in peril from natural causes,
but you must do everything you can pos
slbly think of to augment the danger. Oh,
don't singl What can you be thinking
of Z"
'.Now, where's the harm in il"
'Mortimer, if | have tod you once l
have told you a hundred times, that sing
ing causes vibrations in the atmosphere
which interrupt the flow of the electric
fluid, and What on earth are you open
ing that door for l''
''Goodness gracious, woman, is there
any harm IN that {"
''Harml There's death IN it. Anybody
that has given this subject any attention
knows that to create draught is to invite
the lightning. You haven't half shut it;
shut 1t tight-and do hurry, or we are all
destroyed. oh, it is an awful I'll ing to be
shut up with lunstic at such time as
this. Mortimer, what are you doingI"
'.Nothlng. Just turning on the water.
This room is smothering hot and close. i
want to baihe my face and hands,
''You have certainly parted with the
remnant of your mind Where lightning
strikes substance once, it strikes water
fifty times. Do turn it of. Oh, dear, /
am sure that nothing in this world can save
us. 1t does seem to me that-MortImer
what was thati"
1t was dot was picture. Knocked
it down"
sEThen you are close to the wall i
never heard of such mprudence! Don't
YOU know that there is no better conduc-
tor of lightning than a wall q Come away
from therel And you came as near as any
thing to swearing, too. Oh, how can you
be so desperately wicked, and your family
in such peril Mortimer, did you order
feather bed, as asked you to do r.
''No. Forgot it.
''Forgot it, 1t may cost you your life.
If you had feather bed, now, and could
spread it IN the middle of the room and lie
on it, you would be perfectly safe. Come
IN here-come quick, before you have
cnance TO commit any more frantic indis-
cretions-"
tried, but the little closet would not
hold us both with the door shut, unless we
could be content to smother. | gasped
awhile, then forced my way out. My
wife called out
Mortimer, something must be done for
your preservation. Give me that German
book that is on the end of the mantle piece
and candle; bnt don't light it; give me
match; | will light it in here. That book
has some directions in it."
/ got the book-at the cost of of vase and
some other brittle things; and the madam
shut herself up with her candle. l had amo-
msnt's peace; then she called out
Mortimer. what was that 2"
''NothIng but the cat.
ssThe cat, Oh, destructioni Catch her,
and SHIT her up in the wash stand. Do be
gu ick, love; cats are full of electricity. |
Just know my hair will turn white with
this nights awful perils."
heard the muffied sobbings again. But
for that should not have moved hand or
foot in such wild enterprise in the dark.
However, l went at my task over
chairs and against all sorts of distractions,
ali of them hard ones, too, and most of
them with sharp edges-and at last l got
kitty cooped up in the commode, at an ex-
pense of over four hundred dollars In
broken furniture and sbins. Then these
muffi q words came from the closet:
sgt SAYS the safest thing Is to stand on a
chair in the middle of the room, Mortimer;
and the legs of the chair must be insulated
with non-conductors. That is, you must
set the legs of the chair Ill glass tumblers.
GFzt,- 6oOD1!-6ang smash oh
hear that. DO hurry, Mortimer, before
you are struck"
managed to find and secure the tum-
blers. 1 got the last four-broke all the
rest. l insulated the chair-legs, and called
for further instructions.
ssMortlmtr," it says, "Wahrend eines
Gewitters entferne man Metallic, vie b
Ringe, Uhren, Schlussel, etc, Won sich
und halte sich aucn Mich an solchen Stellen
auf, wo viele Metallic bel elnder liegen,
order If andern koerpere verbunden sind,
we an Herdeen, Ofen, Eisengittern u. dgl.
What does that mean, Mortimer Does
it mean that you must keep metals about
you, or keep theBi away from you?"
"Well, hardly know. Ii appears to
be a little mixed. All German advice is
more or less mixed. However, think
that sentence is mostly in the native case,
with gentle genitive and accusative sifted
in, here and there, tor luck, SO reckon ii
means that you must keep some metals
about you"
"Yes; that must be it. 1t stands to rea-
son that it is. They are in the nature of
lightning rods you know. Put on your
fireman's helmet, Mortimer; that is mostly
metal
got it and put ii on-a very heavy and
clumsy and uncomfortable thing on hot
night In a close room. Even my night
dress seemed to be more clothing than L
strictly needed.
Mortimer, | think your middle ought to
be protected. Won't you buckle On your
militia sabre, pleasei'