The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1881-07-29

KEELY's motor is now known to us %
''the tramp" because it won't work.


KEELY's motor is now known to us 40
"the tramp" because it won't work.
IT Is true that the crow is thief, and
steals the farmers corn; but it is not
without caws. - Boston Transcript.
What causes him to carrion SO?
A KIND writer says "You can trust a
man who loves horse or dog. A
livery stable man says he has tried il,
and finds there is no money in it,
THERE are two possible things greatly
dreaded by New Workers just now. One
is bear famine, and--we have forgotten
the other. NorriStoDn Herald.
When man attains the age of ninety
he may be termed &c ingly old.-ES-
change. When man attains the age of
forty he may he said to XII.
"WHAT I sediment" as the river
murmured during high water.-Keokuk
Gate City. Did that settle it Earl
Marble. There are grounds for believ-
ing that it did.
A YOUNG man in Illinois was so badly
stung by a colony of bees that he
couldn't get married at the time agreed
upon, He had 2 taste of his honeymoon
III advance.
A Troy lawyer asked woman on the
witness stand her age, and she promptly
replied: "Old enough to have sold
milk for you to drink when baby, and
haven't got my pay yet"
A COPENHAGEN dispatch says: Emf
grafton from Sweden this year is ex-
pected to amount to 10000 persons. I"
This is good. We shall get some new
notions in the Swede by and by.
They were at dinner party, and he
remarked that he supposed she was fond
of ethnology. She said she was, but she
was not very well, and the doctor had
told her not to eat anything for desert
but oranges. $1,000
Rev. DIR. DUsBELL "a newly fledged
divine)-" Hello, what's this, Essie /; a
picture of me? Do you think it's a
good likeness ?" Essie latter pause)---
"No, guess I'll put tail on it and call
a dog. Harvard Lan,poon.
PROBABLY the boy never lived who,
having drum, did not burst it to see
what made the music. But Vermont
has the champion boy. He broke his
drum because he wanted to see the drum
core that his father spoke of.
A FRANK WELCOME. Said Mrs. Smith,
who had come to spend the day, to lit
tie Edith-"Are you glad to see Inc
me again, Edith?" Eyes, MN, and
mammals glad tot" Mrs. Smith" Ii
she? 2" Edith" Yes, nm; she said
she hoped you'd come to-day and have
it over with" Mamma bushes scarlet,
but Mrs. Smith simply smiles. q
A NORWICH couple who had a per cat
which had grown helpless from age and
extremely fifty, put it out of its misery
by the agency OF chloroform. They
buried it in the garden and planted
rosebush over its remains. The next
morning it appeared at the door to be
let in and had the rosebush under its
arm.-Danbury Ne,0S.
GOAT stood on the dusty road, whence all but he
He saw old Embree coming down the road, and
with his head
All postured for butt, he posed and patiently did
The coming of the chap he thought he would anni-
hilate.
Old Embree had a stick in hand of tonnage rather
He'd christened 1t his " slaugbterer" and handled
II as sucn, -
And when the butter came, ne let MIN nave III DER
the eye,
And gracious how that Embree-oh, did make the
butterfly.
- Ionkers Gazette.
Two men afflicted with suffering
happened to meet upon a highway,
when, on saluting, each discovered that
the other suffered pretty badly, and the
following conversation occurred: Mr..
Brown" How l-l-long h-h-have y y-you
SIS. stuttered?" Mr.. Smith b b-bout
fi-f-five ye-years." Mr.. Browm-"Wh-
why d-d-don't y-y-you ego s-s-see
D-doc-d-doctor B-?" Mr.. Smith-"W-
why, lis he a-a.any g-good?" Mr.. Brown
-"A-a-any g-g-go-good? W.w-well, IL
g-g-gu-g-euess 1.-The Isis; h-he c.c-cured
IN me !'-NatiOndi RepuLhcan.