Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1881-06-24
Mark Twain On the Art Of War.

Mark Twain On the Art Of War.
AT the annual banquet of the Society of the
Army of the Potomac at Hartford, Mr..
Samuel L. Clemens Mark Twain respond
ed to the toast "The Benefit of Judicious
Training" He said that he had been TO
West Point and had loaded up with military
information, which he proceeded to dis
pense as follows:
To begin, gentlemen, when an engagement
is meditated, it is best to feel the enemy first,
that is if it is night, for, as one Of the cadets
explained to me, you do not need TO feel him
in the daytime, because you can see him
then. never should have thought of that,
but it is true, perfectly true. In the day
time the methods of procedure are various,
but the best, it seems to me- is one which
was introduced by Gen. Grant Gen. Grant
always sent an active young rcdoubt to re-
connoitre and get the enemy's bearings. |
got this from high officer at the Point, who
told me he used to be redoubt on Gen.
Grants staff, and had done it often. When
the hour for the battle is come, move TO the
field with celerity-fool away no time. In
der this head was told of favorlte maxim
of Gen. Sheridan's. Gen. Sheridan always
said: ''lf the siege train isn't ready, don't
wait-go by any train that is handy. To
get there is the main thing" Now that is
the correct Idea As you approach the field
it is better to get out and walk. This gives
you better chance to dispose of your forces
judiciously for the assault. Get your artil-
lery in position and throw out stragglers to
the right and left to hold your lines of COM
munication against surprise See that every
hod carrier connected with a mortar battery
is at his post. They told me at the Point
that Napoleon despised mortar batteries and
never would use them. He said that for
real efficiency he wouldn't give hatful of
bricks for ton of mortar. However, that
is all he knew about it.
Everything being ready for the assault, you
want to enter the field with your baggage to
the front. This idea was invented bv our
renowned guest, Gen. Sherman, They told
me that Gen. Sherman said that the trunks
aud baggage make a good protection for the
soldiers, but that, chiefly, they attract the
attention and rivet the interest of the enemy,
and this gives you an opportunity to whirl
the other end of the column around and at
tack him in the rear. Ihave given good
deal of study to this tactic since | learned
about it, and it appears to me that it is rat
tling good idea. Never fetch on your reserves
at the start. This was Napoleon's first
mistake at Waterloo. Next, he assaulted
with his bomb proofs and ambulances and
embrasures, when he ought to have used
heavier artillery. Thirdly. he retired his
right by ricochet-which uncovered his pick
cts-when his only possibility of success Law
in doubling up his centre flank by flank, and
throwing out his cherdur de .frise by the left
oblique TO relieve the skirmish line and con-
fuse the enemy, if such maneuvre would
confuse him, and at West Point they said it
would. 1t was about this time that the En-
peror had two horses shot under him. How Of
ten you see the remark that General So and So
in such and such a battle, had two or three
horses shot under him. Gen. Burnside and
many great European military men, as | was
informed by high military officer at West
Point, has justly characterized this as a wan
ton waste of projectiles, and he impressed
upon me conversation in the tent of the
Prussian chiefs at Gravelotte, in the course
of which our honored guest Just referred to
Gen. Burnside-Observed that if YOU can't
aim horse so as to hit the General with it,
shoot it over him and you may bag some
thing on the other side; whereas horse shot
under General does no sort of damage.
agree cordially with Gen. Burnside, and
heaven knows | shall rejoice to see the artil
leris,s of this land and of all lands cease
from this wicked and idiotic custom.
AT West Point they told me of another
mistake at Waterloo, namely, that the French
were under fire from the beginning of the
fight till the end-which was plainly most
effcminate and ill-timed attention to comfort,
and foolish division of military strength,
for it probably took as many men TO keep up
the fires as it did to do the fighting
1t would have been much better to have
hal fro in ha OF "a
men go there by detachments and get
warm, and not try to warm up the whole
army at once. All the cadets said that an
assault along the whole line was the one
, thing which could have restored Napoleons
advantage at this juncture, and he was ac-
tually rising up in his stirrups to order it,
when sutler burst at his side and covered
him with dirt and debris, and before he
could recover Wellington opened tremen-
dous and devastating fire upon him from
monstrous battery of vivandieres, and the
star of the great Captains glory set TO rise
no more. The cadet wept while he told me
these mournful particulars.
When you leave a battlefield, always leave
it in good order; remove the wreck and
rubbish, and tidy up the place. However,
in the case of drawn battle it is neither
party's business to tidy up anything. You
can leave the field looking us if the city
government of New York had bossed the
fight. When you are traversing the enc
my's country, in order to destroy his sup
plies and cripple his resources, You want to
take along plenty of camp followers. The
more the better. They are n tremendously
effective arm of the service. and they inspire
in the foe the liveliest dread. A West Point
professor told me that the wisdom of this
was recognized as far back as Scripture
times. lie quoted the verse. He said 1t
was from the new revision, and was a little
different from the way it reads in the old one
| do not recollect the exact wording ot ii
now, but | remember that it wound up with
something about such and such n devastating
agent being as terrible as an army with
bummers" believe have nothing further
TO add but this The West Pointers said n
private should preserve respectful attitude
toward his superiors, and should seldom, or
never, proceed so far as to offer suggestions
to his General in the field. If the battle is
not being conducted to suit him it is better
for him to resign. By the etiquette of war
it is permitted to none below the rank of
newspaper correspondent to dictate to the
tha tiall