The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1881-04-21

IDT us dRdlu.
Clara B. Tr0mbridae, in the Christian Union.
THE TROUBLE CAUSED BY AN OLD
RAG MAN.
There is an old adage to the effect
that a woman is at the bottom of every
trouble in this world of ours. Taking
McSwynf Court as a smaller sphere eX-
isting within and encircled by greater
orbit, and we find that the adage will
hold good to its application therein
Dionysius McSwyny, after his expert
ence recently, is no doubt fully pre-
pared to confirm the truth of the prov
erb above referred to, for he has been
in great trouble, brought about and
concocted by his wife, Anastasia, al
though without any malice aforethoupht
or premeditated design on the lady'.
part, she being the innocent cause of
the whole row; and the Second agent of
the fomenting of the disturbance has
been a pair Of trousers. Now, a pair
Of trousers are not troublesome in
themselves, unless ill-made or too tipht
for comfort, but these particular trous-
ers have been the means of raising the
dence in the McSwynian household, and,
as consequence, in McSwyny Court.
ltseems that Dionysius had a pair of
blue trousers, which. for some months
back he has discarded wearing, having
uonned an entire suit of black cheyiot.
which the trousers would not match.
and, therefore, were laid aside. They
hung on peg in one of the McSwyn-
ian bedrooms, and were rapidly be-
coming useless save from the utilitarian
standpoint of the old rag man. Anas-
tasla McSwyny, being of an economical
disposition, got tired of seeing the
trousers hanging on peg and of no
earthly use to the owner. her husband,
50 That, upon a certain morning of last
week, when Dominick Philethus McGru-
Ger, the junkman of McSwynv Court.
went by the McSwynian domicile with
his ringing bells changing over his Junk
cart Anastasia went to the door and
called him. '''
Good mornin', Mrs. McSwvny."
SAID MeGruder, with smile, but never
pausing for breath as he went on:
hags-an' '-bottles-to-sell! any ould
r-a-g-sm
'Good mornin', Mr.. McGruder.n
responded Anastasia; show do YOU do
Io-day?" 0N N'
"Quitc well, ma'am, thank We. How's
ne ouid man? Rags-an-bottles-to-sell!
my ould r-a-g-s!'
he nicely, Mr.. McGruder," an
'wered Mrs. McSwyny. "pve an ould
'alr OF trousers here I'd like to sell ye."
AL right, ma'am," responded Nc
lruder, taking the article and examin-
ag ag Il closely. '.How's your daughters,
a1ary Ann and Amy? Rags-an bot
ies-11-sell! any ould r-a-g-s!'
They're well, Mr.. McGruder. an,
low much are the trousers worth. an
your wife in good health?'' answered
aa querled Mrs. McSwyny cordially.
20, she's all right, ma'am, an I'm
iaa TO hear ye're all well, but all I can
a'e ye Tor the trousers is twinty-fiye
'a-g-sn' ~ ' "ns o'''o
Twinty-fve cintsr' echoed Mrs
= nlcowyny, in astonishment. "Is that
u ye Ii give me for handsome blue
Iousers belongin' to suit Dionysius
aid hfteen dollars for to order of little
ooley, the tailor, only six months ago.
= !. q Iolne lt'they were, more betoken
y coat an vesht were so tight across
- waist as to burst the first day he
ore 'emr' -
wen, ma'am," went on the Nc
iaaer' soothingly, "d'ye moind, they |
only good for ould rags now, though
y mght sell thin to Solomon Isaacs,
~ ~ ouid clio man on the block above. |
:, : make 1t fifty. but not a cint more.
INN 1t may be losin' speculation. |
ass-an- -bottles-to-sell! ANY ould |
wen, take thim," responded Mrs.
~ they're no good to Diony-
@ any more, an Pm sure | can't
=, ou re the first woman ever heerd
ral that thin," jocosely an
sered the McGruder, as he threw the
ousers ~. into his cart. "Tin, twenty.
my, y, forty, fifty cents. There We are.
am good day, Mrs. McSwynv'
IS ass-am an, -oottles-to-sell! Any ouid
: an OLD !unkman trudged along with
I b;,s ear., singing his invitation to trade.
n;e ,o;e mrs. McSwyny went indoors re-
lg lS;,g IN the possession of fifty cents
.r'slonai : pln-money. 1t flashed across
n. ai,na u. at the last moment that pos
~ ~ plonysius might have left some
~ o,sant papers in the pockets, or per-
,ps = esen money, and she fastened to
= toor t again intending to call McGru-
|, ,na naek; But he had long since dis
I. view, and Mrs. McSwynv
y ~ iureed .a to return comforting herself
!. me reflection that she was possibly
= Aeh IN her supposititious fears.
Nv; lSo days afterwards. Dionysius was
;daa ;a curiously about the bedroom.
r IVY Ms hunting for something, when
t. o..ttowyny passed by the door lead
'Anacfool. |