The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1881-10-14
Odd Items.

Can an extinguished lamp be said to
have lit outY
The cry of the bakers boy is a
morning roll call.
A darkness that can be felt--A black
hat.
A letter from =. 0. Sharpless, druggist,
Marion, Ohio, in writing of Thomas Ec-
lectric Oil, says: "One man was cured
of sore throat of eight years standing
with one bottle. We have number of
cases of rheumatism that have been
cured when other remedies have failed.
We consider it the best medicine sold.'
The cup that neither cheers nor iue-
briates-the hiccup.
There is said to be profit of 13,000,-
600 per cent on circus lemonade.
A sensational report is called acanard
because one canardly believe it.
UNIVERSAL APPRECIATION
BY the community at large has been
given to Burdock Blood Bitters No in
stance is known where dissatisfaction
has been manifested by its use, or whore
aught but benefit followed its admins
tration. Price $l00, trial size 10 cents.
The equality of mercy strongly re-
sembles boarding house coffee. 1t is
not strained
A soft answer turneth away wrath,
but IT is different with soft corn.
HONORABLE MENTION.
OF all the remedies on earth that well
may claim attention, DIR. Thomas Eclec-
trio Oil claims especial mention. For
wondrous power to cure disease its fame
there's none can throttle Its merits are
not in the puff, but are inside the bottle.
Rheumatism, neuralgia, sore throat,
asthma, bronchitis, diphtheria, ETC., are
all cured by Thomas Eclectric Oil.
What function does muzzle over a
dogs mouth perform7 1t acts as sus
pender to his pants.
Jones can't understand why there
should be any danger from poisonous
flats in Washington, now that Congress
is not in session.
Ayers Sarsaparilla Be wise in time.
All baneful infections are promptly re-
moved by this unequaled Alternative. 1t
is the most potent blood purifier and a
fountain of health and strength.
There is a place in Massachusetts
called Braintree. The Bostonese go out
there for shade
Jones says that after trying for years
to photograph his girl upon his heart, all
he got from her in the end was neg
ative.
Mrs. Annie A. Smitbton, of Auburn,
N. Y, writes: 81 had doctored for
years and tried various advertised'reme-
dies for my complaint, which was gen
eral prostration. believe Isuffered ev-
cry i'll that flesh is heir to. The least
exertion caused the greatest fatigue l
was tormented with dyspepsia and every
irregularity. My blood seemed poisoned,
pimples and sores were all over my
body; nothing l tried ever gave me
more than temporary relief, and l felt
myself growing worse and worse. Mr..
Reynolds, the druggist, advised me to use
Browns Iron Bitters. From the very
start began to improve; now do not
feel like the same woman.
In case Professor Bells induction bal
ance can be used to find lost umbrellas,
it will not have been invented in vain.
'What fine, protuberant forehead
your baby has, Mrs. Jones! Did he get
it from his father?" "No," replied Mrs.
4 Jones, she got it from fall down stairs. "
An Indian idol was recently found in
Kansas. 1t is made of earthenware,
has handle, and will hold two quarts.
/ PHYSICIANS WINE.
3 New York physicians say that they
: have been using Speer's Port Grape
: Wine and Wine Bitters in their practice
r for years, to the entire satisfaction OF
\, their patients and themselves, and take
s great pleasure in recommending them
a to the public as being all that is claimed
|. for them, and, in fact, the most reliable
l. they can find. 1t is especially recon
: mcnded for consumptives, the age d an(
n for females generally. For sale by G
p A. Klein, druggist, Bloomsbury, Pa.
= A man, charged by an examining law
" yer with prevaricating, asked how h
~ could help prevarcating when he ha
7 lost three of his front teeth.
Iy Areporter of California free fgl
al says-"Colonel Baggts was shot once
the left side, once in the right shoulde
&c and once in the drinking saloon adj'
in cent"
N 1T woN'TPAY
70 After so much labor and capital ha
m been expended to build up this medicin
w ,wv to allow it to deteriorate. You can tax
~ Simmons Liver Regulator with perfe'
air faith, as it is made by no adventure
IN who pick up the business of concoctin
h medicines, but by educated, practices
IA druggists who have made the study
m medicine and its compounds the lab
oh of lifetime. The care, precision, nea
N, ness and perfection exhibited by the We
appearance of the Regulator proves it
be the best prepared medicine in I
,os market, and ], II. Zeilin 81 Co. ful
,T carry out their motto "Purissima
h w Optima" (purest and best.
nd "Six Girls" is the title of new boo
'ir- 1t may do to take TO pic mic, but il
sa- not very satisfactory work to sit
ION with on Sunday nights.
~ When man makes rye face il
in natural to suppose that he is a lit
,yi cross grained.
hio "Who grasps much holds little" I
ior proprietors of Elys Cream Balm
Is not claim il TO be a cme-all, but a s.
remedy for Catalrh and Catarrhal De
ness, Colds in the Head and Hay Fe,
one Cream Balm effectually oleanses
Why nasal passages of catarrhal virus, ca
ase. ing healthy secretions, allays infaml
hat tion and irritation, protects the meml