Daily Los Angeles herald., 1881-09-15
gas Sugelss Aerala.
Spice from Exchanges /.

Cure for felons-arrest them.
woman's province-the Isle of
Man.
The bob-tailed car is non-con-
ductor.
Teetoler's motto-don't let your
spirits go down.
Persons OF extended views-pan-
Drama painters.
Why is turnpike gate like
dead dogs tail? Because it stops
s-waggin'.
The New York Commercial re.
marks that DIR. Bliss is now quite
lsudable pus-son.
One of the earliest archery clubs
we read about was when Ruth was
out in the field with Boaz and har-
rows.
It may be better to be right than
to be President, but the salary Is
smaller; In this country, anyhow.
Bob Burdette.
Lydia Thompson reached the
years Of discretion four decades
since; but NOT until lately has she
worn long clothes.
"When a mans money is gone,n
says the Boston Globe. "his friends
drop off like buttons from pair of
ready-mads pants"
Up In Middlesex county it is so
quiet that q train of thought can
be felt to jar the whole trestlework
OF the vicinity.-Neso Haven Reg
ister.
"Young man. is your father be-
lever in spirits?n asked q teacher
of one of her scholars. The boy
simply answered.: "Gnome."-
Rome Sentinel.
Rattlesnakes are said to have an
odor like that of green cucumbers;
but q quart of whisky won't cure
the bite Of cucumber.-B. Dadd.
The Christian advocate asks us
all to pray for the camp meetings
now in progress. What Is there so
very bad about camp.meeting?-
Boston Post.
A New York girl has q case in
which she displays rings received
from her captives in matrimonial
engagements. Sort of war hoops,
as 1t were.-Detroit Free Press.
Any bird fancier can tell you that
twelve finches do not make foot.
-Net0 York NeaOs. But any one
of them can make a perch with two
feet Winston Leader.
The Boston Post says: "The true
way for o woman to drive a nail is
to aim the blow square at her
thumb. Then she'll at least avoid
hitting her thumb, anyway"
"Statesman!" yelled a newsboy,
thrusting his head in at the door of
an avenue saloon. Four of the six
thirsty loungers arose promptly
and answered, "Here,"-Te1as
ShJsings.
There are $4,000 idiots Ia the
United States according to one
authority. The number depends
a good deal on who takes the GEN.
sus and where the line is drawn
Boston Gtobe.
One of the noisest members of
the WestVirginia Legislature is one
.Beekman Wyatt. His colleagues
call him Beck Wyatt, but he
doesn't be quiet just the same
Yonkers Gazette.
1t is said that kerosene will re-
move stains from furniture. 1t has
also been known to remove the
furniture, stains and all, with the
stove and red-headed servant
girl thrown in oftimes.
A man in Connecticut is said to
have been cured of Brights dis
ease by diet of skim milk. If
skim.milk is specific people
hereab0ut will never suffer from
the disease. Commercial
Bulletin.
A man who was suffering from a
boil on his face pettishly exclaimed:
ST wish I knew the best place to
have boilg' to which his little
girl responded, "Why, papa, the
tea-kettle is the best place to have
q boil.n
"How are you enjoying the coun-
try this Summer, Charley?"
''Thoroughly. When 1 left the city
I thought I'd miss the gymnasium,
but / don't. We fight gnats all
day, and the mosquitoes fight us all