davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The weekly clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1863-1882, 1881-11-10
FUNNY FANCIES
Men of measures-Tailors.

Men of measures-Tailors.
An of.ender-A ships rudder.
A stormy adieu-" Hail and farewell. "
The soft corn is an unerring storm
scenter.
An amendment to the constitutional
wooden leg.
A man seldom mends his fortune by
darning the odds.
What is that by losing an eye has only
a nose left i? A noise.
Ifyou have trouble with your domestic
try and Bridget over.
A man who fixes telegraph-poles has
got to get a-climbatized.
A sensational report is called canard
because one canardly believe it.
The theater manager who was wrecked
had light houses to warn him.
"Let's strip the light fantastic toe,
said the chiropodist to his patient.
To eonfde too much is to put you
lemons into another mans squeezer.
There is one town in Connecticut tha
has no fear of the measles. Its Had
dam.
A man who was formerly a nigh
watchman refers to it as his late occupa
tion.
Patrick Nichols of Milwaukee is get
| ting false set of teeth made for hi
dog, which is 80 years old.
ssOpening core-us /" yelled the apples
when they saw the woman coming witt
the carving-knife.
A Milford chicken has eight toes OF
each foot, which is none to many fol
New England soil.
eyes" said Mr.. Gallagher, ''it was
funny enough to make donkey laugh.
laughed till l cried"
Arkansas is becoming so soenterprising
that every crossroads horse-trongh i
called watering place.
When man expires in Washington
from having delerium tremens, they say
he died a natural death.
With all the discussion about sewing
In the schools, no one has yet been bold
enough to say that it is needless.
'sWill the coming man fly r is the
question, and the ssFat Contributor
thinks he wiII-When the coming woman
gets after him.
The fellows who are to bashful to look
at a girl are just the ones to strike :
friend for loan of 81 with all the gal
Of an army mule.
It IS estimated that the Mammoth
Cave would furnish store-room for 2.
500, 900 barrels Of lager and 1 600, ,0Oo
llimburger cheeses.
The weekly clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1863-1882, 1881-11-10
Tyner's ResignatiOn---COrre in
Regard Thereto.

WASHINGTON, Oct. 26.-First Assistant
Postmaster General Tyner rendered his
resignation to-day as sequel of the follow
ing correspondence:
WASHINGTON, Oct. 20, 1881.
To Hon. Thos. L. James, Postmaster General:
DEAR SIR inclose herewith, in response
IN your letter of the 14th instant, my res
ipnation of the office of First Assistant
Postmaster General, to be delivered to the
President, on condition that the request for
it is not based on charges against my official
honor or integrity, especially in connection
with the alleged Star Route frauds, either
by direct act or neglect of duty. If such
charges have been made or implied, 1t IS
proper that they should be clearly stated,
and that l should have the opportunity to
reply to them. l believe you will approve
this suggestion. Very respectfully, your
obedient servant.
JAS. N. TYNER.
| The Postmaster General replied as follows:
WASHINGTON, Oct. 26, 1881.
| SRI have the honor to acknowledge the
receipt OF your resignation of the office OF
First Assistant Postmaster-General, which
I have lust handed to the President. In
reply to your inquiry | have to say that
the request for your resignation was not
based upon any reflection on your personal
or official integrity.
Very respectfully,
THos. L. JAMES,
General.
The weekly clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1863-1882, 1881-11-10
He Repndiates q Yaller BOY.

From Texas Last week strapping
negro woman was up before an Austin
Justice, charged with numerically beat
ing her boy, saddle colored imp. 81
don't understand how you could have
the heart to beat your own child -
cruelty" s.Jedge, has you been a parent
to 4 wuffiess yaIler boy like dat ar cut
Of mine r Never calculated the judge
With great vehemence, red in the face.
Den don't talk.
The weekly clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1863-1882, 1881-11-10
LOVE SONG.

"Tell me, gentle traveller, thou
Who hast Wandered far and wide,
Seen the sweetest roses blow
And the brightest rivers glide;
Say. OF all thy eyes have seen,
Which the fsirest land has been2'
Lady, shall tell thee where
Nature seems most blest and fair
Far above all elimes beside
lis where those We love abide,
And that little spot Is blessed
Which the loved ones foot has pressed
The weekly clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1863-1882, 1881-11-10
Women voting.

At the school meeting at West New
Brighton. L. L., last week, the first woman
vote was cast by Mrs. Sarah B. Shaw, wife
of Francis George Shaw, and mother of Col.
Robert G.. Shaw, who was killed at Fort
Wayne. Mrs. Shaw was accompanied by
her son-in-law, Mr. George William Curtis,
and was very respectfully received, the crowd
making way for her as she approached the
hallot-box. She is the mother of Mrs.
Iosenhine Lowell, of the State Board OF
Charities. and of the wives Of ex-Attorney
General Francis G. Barlow and Mr. Robert
p M;nturn. Fifteen other ladies voted
afterher. and their ticket was successful,
Y. World.
The weekly clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1863-1882, 1881-11-10

THIS gospel Of chastity irrespective
of sex" needs to be preached and Prac-
tieed, as never before, throughout New
England and the United States. Morals
have deteriorated with the growth of
our cities and manufacturing towns.
The bitter opposition to woman suffrage
which the Boston delegations have 50
often shown in our political conventions
has had its root very largely in the social
corruption which has eaten out the
heart Of too many Of our young men.
and has thoroughly perverted their esti-
mate Of woman as a moral and intellec-
tual being, Woman's Journal.
The weekly clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1863-1882, 1881-11-10

There are more than 100 lawyers in
the new French Chamber without count
ing snotarys and Z solicitors 80 doctors,
ali Of them but I Republicans, and 3
druggists; q journalists, 19 of whom
sit for Paris; s Professors, 4 nlanufac-
turers and s ship-owners The are but
2 priests and / Catholic lay preacher, l
Protestant ex-minister, and 3 Jews.
The weekly clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1863-1882, 1881-11-10

AocoRDINa to Harpers Bazar. the
FIRST wraps for cool days viii be paletots
and square-sleeved cloaks Of English
homespun and Scotch cloths but some
Of our importers Of wraps say that Va
riesy viii distinguish the fall wraps q.
well d every other detail Of fashion,
and that Jackets. mantles, visitez, and
dolmans win al be worn, and equally
fashionable.
The weekly clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1863-1882, 1881-11-10

natural spirituality of womanhood and
the simplicity Of childhood. These
must be supplemented by the iutellec-
tual strength Of nation, or the pulpit
cannot exist as a national power. And
to command the strength, it mast be
the strength. Great and timely sub
iects, thorough discussions, weight and
fulness Of selected materials, costly
thoughts,-these, immersed in the
depths of an intense spiritual nature,
must constitute the popular preaching
of an age, or the time Is not far distant
when no preaching will be popular. "
The weekly clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1863-1882, 1881-11-10

4 SOUTH CAROLINA paper says that the
vile Of Representative Tillman, OF that
Sfate. Notwithstanding the cares OF q numer-
ans family, mounts her horse daily ana Ref.
sonallv superintends every detail OF mel
husbands extensive planting interest, ana
4 considered one OF the most successlui
managers of farm in Edgeneld 091n.y. my.
omsa,S ~. .slstions of Colonel Tillman, he has
neST ternaS the plantation over to her.
The weekly clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1863-1882, 1881-11-10

.Do YOU see that woman over there!
said an observer in the audience lls lnul-
catinr the person spoken Of tnat
Sas. ,sonsn lam perfectly certain, pets .
L. Her face has taken the shape OF
-. Ses' ,st,s and such eases are by no
..,a.Is - : uncommon. I can nearly always
III a.lI'..- ! woman who has 4 pet dog # she
sas ssas bad ! # any great length Of time.
He Her features invariably betray her.
The weekly clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1863-1882, 1881-11-10

uWuAT would you do f Jon WsFe ;
- + T re-e ...ar Won r tenderly inquired Z
als s,,, sweli Of his lady friend as he S s., J,
yoans I@~' hs~ home from church. Well, s
co., cor shs 20 s.;f / were ron / would throw
asvay that vile cigarette cut 8 UP ~ sa'.s ,.s
far fre-wood, wear ny Wa.cn7s.....'h h.,n.s.
derneath iI.s my coat and Say uawEsve. = s,..s
NIGHTS and pray for brains : =" = =
The weekly clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1863-1882, 1881-11-10
Captivity and Escape.

A WOMAN AND FIVE CHILDREN STILL
PRISONERS IN THE HANDS OF THE
APACHEs.
Towanda daily review. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1879-1921, 1881-02-21

Five negroes on trial for murder t
Springfield, Tenn, were taken from the
court room on Saturday while the Judge
was charging the jury, by mob and
hanged.
The Irish Land Leaguers will hereafter
send all their dispatches to America over
the French cable, since the disclosures,
which have proved that the authorities
meddled with them in England.
The fluttering of canary bird awoke
Rev. Jeremiah Brosnan in his residence
attached to the Parochial School in
Brooklyn. The clergyman arose immedi-
ately and discovered the adjoining school
building burning. The alarm was sound
ed and the fire extinguished. Loss 81, 900.
The Funding bill now goes to the
House for concurrence in the Senate
amendments, viz: A 30 instead of a
5 10 bond, compensation of half instead
Of quarter of one per cent for placing
the loan; provision for popularizing
the loan, in the sense of having it taken
by the people. and several verbal altera-
tions.
Towanda daily review. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1879-1921, 1881-02-21
The News Condensed.

There was not a quorum Of the legisla-
ture Saturday. 1t is not expected there
will be any choice Of Senator to-day.
Many members of the Dominion Parlia-
ment are i'll, on account of the deficient
ventilation of the Parliament building.
Reading stock has jumped up over four
points. 1t was due to the report that
Jay Gould had bought the McCalmont in
terest in the road.
Towanda daily review. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1879-1921, 1881-02-21

EMMETT WHALEN, while engaged in telling
trees near Giett's, in South Greek township,
on Thursday last, was struck by tree which
had been cut from the stump and lodged on
another tree, and instantly killed, He was q
poor man and leaves a wife and child in des-
ttue circumstances.
Towanda daily review. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1879-1921, 1881-02-21

Two spans of the State line bridge over the
Susquehsnna near Waverly were carried a.
way by the ice freshet last week. The bridge
is owned by stock company, but has never
paid any dividend until last year. 1t will be
rebuilt, as it has proven to be of great i'm
portance to the business interests of Waver.
ly.
Towanda daily review. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1879-1921, 1881-02-21

The First National Bank of Canton, has
been organized and will begin business
March 1st. The following are the officers:
President-ADAM INNS.
Vice -PreSident-B. S. DART.
CdShier-G. A. GUERNSEY.
DirectOrS-A. D. FOss, G. E. BULLOCK,
KELEoN PACKARD, B. S. DARTT, LEROY
GLEASON, DANIEL. INNES.
Towanda daily review. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1879-1921, 1881-02-21

Tunkhannock paper refers to man who
sustained severe scalp wound on the
head" It's good thing to be explicit.
Towanda daily review. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1879-1921, 1881-02-21

The MASQUERADE Ball on Wednesday night
is the all absosbing topic in Towanda just
now. The great and momentous question is,
What shall l wear? Mr.. Danniele and his as
sstant costumer, Mr.. Folsom, who comes
from Canada to costume this Ball, can answer
this question. They will introduce at this
Ball, costumes representing Thousands Of
Dollars, aud the richest that haye ever been
seen in this section. The array of influential
names as as committees for the Ball is a safe
guarastee of its complete success, as well as
Of its selectness. 1t will be such aMasqurade
Ball as this vicinity has not witnessed before.
Towanda daily review. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1879-1921, 1881-02-21

Every article in the new grocery store of
Swarts & Gordon is fresh and new. Remem-
ber this when in need of groceries.
Towanda daily review. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1879-1921, 1881-02-21

Don't fail to go to JOHN SULLIvAN's, on
Bridge street, for the best five cent cegar.
Towanda daily review. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1879-1921, 1881-02-21
ADDITIONAL LOCAL.
Personal.

Mr.. and Mrs. KATTELL, of Binghamton
were in Towanda yesterday.
Miss TEED, of Elmra, is visiting Mrs. E.
?. SEELY, on Bridge street.
Rev. G. T. HALLowELL, of the Baptist
church, spent last week assisting in revival
work at New Albany, and goes back there
this week for three days.
We are pleased to learn that Conductor
PARsELLs' little daughter, who has been very
sick, is improving.
Master GEORGE, the youngest child of Mr.
and Mrs. E. o. MACFARLANE, is sick with
scarlet fever.
Mr.. ELMRR B. MCKEE, of Towanda, Pa.
was visiting with Mr. ED. HAsKINs, in this
village last Tuesday. Mr.. MCKEE, on Wednes-
day morning, went on his way to Oswego to
attend the spring term Of the Oswego State
Normal School, of which institution he is q
pupil.-Oueg Times.
Major G. B. OvERToN, of Elmira, recently
secured the lot fronting west on Third street
and lying between the B., N. Y. g. P. and
O. B. & w. Railroad tracks in the shape of q
V. On this lot he has built extensive cea
sheds, and a pleasant, commodious Office
OIedn Times.
n. n. BELTS, Judge RUSSELL, and D'A.
OvERToN, Esq, went to Pittsburg on Friday
to attendto some business before the u. S.
Court.
JOHN A. PARSONS and r. F. REDDINGToN
of Troy, visited W. HI. CARNoCHAN. Esq.
yesterday.
We understand Senator DAVIES was in
town over Sunday for the first time since the
opening of the Senatorial struggle. He leaves
for Harrisburg on the o'slock train this
morning.
T. NJ. SANTEE, of Hazleton, spent Sunday
with friends in this place.
DR.. c.. H. and CHARLIE SCOTT, Of Sayre
spent Sunday with their parents on Third
street.
1. ROGALsKI, our former popular towns.
man, now engaged with New York jewelry
establishment, is in town.
A repeat from Monroeton last evening
gave but the faintest hope for Mrs. INGHAM'S
recovery. 1t was feared she could not sur
yive the night.
Misses MARY and ANNIE HARKINs, who
have been visiting in this place for some time
returned to their home in WilkesBarre last
week.
Teas and coffees of the best grades, fresh
and pure at Swarts Il Gordon's.
Towanda daily review. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1879-1921, 1881-02-21

A neck scarf was left at the Office of DR..
PAYNE, few days ago. The owner can
have it by calling for it.
Towanda daily review. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1879-1921, 1881-02-21

Fresh oysters, of the best quality, at Jor-
dams meat market every day.
Towanda daily review. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1879-1921, 1881-02-21

Prof. Dannielle's wardrobe of costumeslfor
gentlemen only, is now at the Ward House.
Mr.. Falsome will arrive to-day or tomorrow
with costumes for ladies, gents, and children.
Towanda daily review. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1879-1921, 1881-02-21

Prof. S. f. ACKLEY will hold musical
convention at the NJ. E. Church in Asylum,
commencing Tuesday evening the 22d inst.
and closing with concert on Friday evening
the 25th. All are cordially invited to attend,
Towanda daily review. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1879-1921, 1881-02-21

WEATHER INDICATIONS FOR TODAY
Cloudy, with light rain and snow, followed
by clearing weather.
Towanda daily review. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1879-1921, 1881-02-21

The following letter. written from this
place to gentleman in Wyalusing, could not
be answered. for the reason that the writer
neglected to attach her name. 1t is sent us
for publication in hope that IL may reach the
eye of the author, so that she may forward
her name to the person to whom she wrote
the note and thus probably secure the situa-
ton she Desires
Please Mr.. -, / heard that you wanted
to hire girl. If you do, please let me know,
by sendiug me line. will come for 50 a
week; am getting that the year round Let
me know first of March Direct your letter
to ToWanda.
Towanda daily review. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1879-1921, 1881-02-21

The Litta Concert Company will appear at
Mercur Hall on Thursday evening. We be-
speak for them large attendance. Tickets
for sale at Kirby's. The Brainard Musical
World says: "Mlle. Litta charmed every one
with the brilisncy Of her vocalization and
the tastefulness of her understanding. The
company is composed of seven distinguished
artists,
Towanda daily review. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1879-1921, 1881-02-21

The MASQUERADE Ball at MontroSe on Fri
day night last, (the close of Prof. Dannelle's
first term there) was the grandest affair ever
witnessed in Susquehanna county. Eighty
odd couples filled the floor, attired in geor-
gous array, while the galaries and every
available space was filled with admiring spec
tators. The display and the perfect manage
ment of all the details has excited Montrose
as she has not been excited before since 1861.
Towanda daily review. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1879-1921, 1881-02-21

The pastor of the Baptist church preached
an able, practical temperance discourse last
evening. While the speaker took the most
advanced ground on the subject, his sermon
was not dOnunciatory but full of unanswera-
BILE arguments in favor of total abstinence.
Towanda daily review. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1879-1921, 1881-02-21

Teas and coffees of the best grades, fresh
and pure at Swarts & Gordon's.
The daily gazette., 1881-06-11
Resigned From 1.-The Force.

Sergeant John NJ. Legg, OF the police
has resigned his position on the force.
Mr. Legg has been on the force for near
ly nine years, having been appointed to
the position OF Sergeant under Mayor
Slmms. He resigns his position on the
force to take charge Of the Atlantic Gar
den, on King street, below Third, OIL
Monday next.
He Intends TO fix the hotel and garden
up in first class style, and making it a
resort for gentlemen. Those who are
fond OF playing len pins, shuttle board or
practice at target Can have their fond
ness gratified st The Atlantic under the
new management.
MIR. Legg was one of the most efficient
officers on the force, and was always al
tentise to his duties. His resignation
will De generally regretted.
The daily gazette., 1881-06-11

LOCAL LINE ES.
Deviled CLAIMS at Fullmers.
Clam croquet at Fullmef's, a.

Deviled CLAIMS at Fullmers.
Clam croquet at Fullmef's.
Ice cold salt oysters at Fullmer's.
City Council meets again this
evening.
The Sunday school excursions had
a bad time OF 1t Yesterday especially
the Epworth.
8There Is to be but one gas COM
pany In this city at present, SO says
City Council.
The old maple tree that has stood
for years on the s. Z. corner of Front
and French streets, was blown down
yesterday afternoon.
Friends of the "Old Swede,s
Church" are invited to send dona.
tions Of flowers for the anniversary
to The church on Saturday afternoon
next, or TO any of the teachers.
There will be q total eclipse of the
moon tomorrow morning, which may
be seen ifit clears off.
Francis Barry has been granted letter.
of administration upon the estate of hi,
brother, the late Homer Barry.
The negro William Neal was to bay,
been hung to-day, but by the decision d
the Supreme Court of the U. y. he La,
been granted a new lease of life.
The first annual picnic of the
Fleetwood Assembly, which was Il
have taken place yesterday at Scbeut-
zen Fark, has been postponed until
tomorrow. s'
The daily gazette., 1881-06-11
NEWARK LETTER.
.NEwARK. In

NJ. NEWARK, June /, 1889
Next week being commanao aoeo
week, Newark will have a laroa 'Gaent i,ia
Of visitors 10 witness the exeroisas '9nux m
week Is probably the moat es. ;n.a ahis
one OF the whole year, as eyeru e'.,hg "na.
can make IL point to appear n' IN IN ,haI
best trim and make special nrana ~ tner
TO ententain their visiting friends a''cns
The butchers enter into comn..,.,
as 70 who can show the finest ~ s'!ion
Ierest meat,and the merchants usna,.n anu .ea'
do fine business. senerally
The milliners, dressm.ka,. ~,
ana others have not the least obis.,,as sa.'ors
70 tnls week as II always enliyens v1'lon 'hn
particular " Anches Of business ans ana 'lese Al
an animus TO the proprietor. b Nv slves
TAKEN as whole IL is Newark hsreea!l hsae,eol
Mr.. Walton jackson, the forma. ga .',
operator al the p. w, u r. Dana, hght
been removed TO some other d@, S., nas
Mr.. Reed. eueu pya
Inc Eikton club is anxious TO pI,r H..
Actives Of this town again and vii n' ,I ne
babiy play a game to-morrow -" u, rO- r
following Saturday, ~"e
The trials of speed that were ,a,.
Used TO take place last Ssturdsr
Homewood Driving Park were % nostaona. ~
on account Of the incliment wealbsr pv"pu nn
I'll the 18th, inst. A'ne' ul-
Strawberries and cherries are verv nl..
tiful about here, but the farmers ,sg p'u ,hs
birds devour the latter almost A. r.. fact '.s ~
they ripen. 80 '''' Us
The strawberry festival held bv tba
Methodists realized, after deduc,ino III III.
expenses profit Of $i05 ui "'
The excursion to the z olovica, e,r
den, Philadelphia, yes,, day was very
poorly attended there not being over Ak
tickets sod. The Threatening appearancs %
OF the weather dol btless hintered soma
from going.
Mr.. Edward Mcpike has had his tonso.
rial palace fitted up in handsome style
Mr. 3. IL. J. Wood is also refi,tipp bis
barber shop. Newark now support,
three barber shops, and none of Them
complain Of dull timel.
The daily gazette., 1881-06-11
A BOLD ROBBERY.
A Private Residence Entered and
Five Hundred and Fifty DoIiars

A Private Residence Entered and
Five Hundred and Fifty Dollars
Stolen.
Sometime yesterday the residence Of
James II. Showalter, No. GOT Adams
street, was entered by thieves. Mrs.
Show alter had gone on the st. Paul's ex-
carsion to Creedmoor Park, and her
hus band and father-in-law were at work
n the P. W. u B. r. R., shops Third
snI church street.
The thieves gained an entrance by
means OF rear window, and finding no
one At home, proceeded 10 search for
valuables. They FIRST searched down
stairs, aud, then went up stairs to one OF
the bedrooms. Here they forced open
the drawers OF q bureau, In one of which
they found $500, five hundred of which
belonged to the father, and fifty dollars
to the son. They also carried away with
them number OF shirts and other wear
ng apparel.
After. having obtained their booty the
thieves left. The ROBBERY was discover
cd bg the elder MIR. Showa tier, who was
Che hrst to go up stairs after he and his
son returned home from work. Word
was nj once sent to the police station,
but NO clue has yet been found ~ TO who
the thieves were.
The daily gazette., 1881-06-11
PROSECUTING STAR REUTERS.
A Grand Jury Drawn mt washing
ton TO Investigate Them.

WAsHINGToN, June 9.-The exact
natuie of &he latest reported discovery
Of the Star route investigation, which,
it is alleged, will save the Government
G1OO,UOO per year, cannot be made
public until the Postmaster General is
ready to issue the order which will ap-
ply the remedy. He is now tempo-
raiily absent in New York. The evil
dence to be issued against the alleged
Star route conspirators is now being
formulated.
The Grand Jury, before which the
case will in all probability come, was
drawn in this district To-day. A sin
gular circumstance is that one of the
jurymen, Herbert Schutter, happens to
be the frescuer who was recently dis
charged from The Post Office Depart
ment on account Of illegal irregulari-
ties in regard to his contract with the
Government.