davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Richland beacon. [volume] (Rayville, La.) 1869-1890, 1881-01-15
A Turkish Joker.

i1 The best known story of the tradition.
al Joe Miller of Turkey is that of his
thrice fooling an assembly of true be-
iievers out of a sermon by three success.
i've jOcular replies. The first time he
assembled the pulpit he said :,
ooh, true believers, do YOU know
what l am going to say?
They replied:
Mo- whereupon he asked
"Of what use is it to preach to such
ignoramuses 2" and came down from the
pulpit.
The next time, when he asked the
same question, they answered:
Yes, VIC know ;" whereupon he said |:
"Then it is useless for me to tell you, q"
and came down. IS
The third time, having taken counsel
together, the congregation prepared an
answer which they thought would cor
ner their joker-preacher, and said:
"Some of us know and some of lis
dont;;" whereupon he promptly re-
piled: .tttt =
"Let those who know tell those who
don't" and once m ore came down.
Richland beacon. [volume] (Rayville, La.) 1869-1890, 1881-01-15
Some Curious Guns.

The museum Of old guns and other
small arms at the armory in Springfield,
Mass, Is probably the fullest and most
cIrions Of any i'll this country, except
the one at Washington. First i'll the list
Of old guns is II Wheclock rifle, wound
up like a clock. made by Gottstird Elem
ing in 1920. On the lock-plate If bat
tie scene between Turks with bows and
arrows and Europeans with swords.
Another is a curious Albanian smooth
bore hint-lock, used even to-day by tlr'
Turkish mountaineers and pcasantry.
An old Arab flint-lock has square piece
Of ivory so fitted to the butt ct the stock
that the gun can he balanced III an mp
right position in the Arabs tent. One,
n matchbox, made in the fourteenth
century, is the oldest gun i'll this coun-
try. II is discharged by lighted tow or
flax on the hammer, drawn to the vent
hy hand
Richland beacon. [volume] (Rayville, La.) 1869-1890, 1881-01-15
Hydrcnilobia.

Hydrophobia seems to be generated
from the saliva of ether animal than
dogs. Cat bite has produced it, though
II is not III evidence whether the cat was
spontaneously hydrophobic or was moe
nlatcd The Duke OF Brunswick died in
Canada from hydrophobia from the bite
of pet fox. In all cases the bite which
poisons TINS seems necessarily to be that
of carniycrous animal. Possibly the
larger carnivora may at times be similarly
affected. and spontaneously. though we
can hardly expect, from the few cases of
human beings who survive the immedi-
ate effects of the bite, to find case Of
hydrophobia thus recorded.
Richland beacon. [volume] (Rayville, La.) 1869-1890, 1881-01-15
Liberties With an Emperor.

Though great men have often ENJOYED
frolics with children, it is, nevertheless,
hard to imagine the Earl of Chatham at
full length on the floor, playing marbles
with his boy. and complaining that the
boy had cheated him. And it is equally
hard to think of Lord Macalllay, Just be-
fore one of his eloquent speeches in Par
lament, racing like mad up and down
the staircase of his sisters house, with a
troop OF wild nephews and nieces in hot
chase. But it is harder than all to think
of Napoleon, who had no great love of
children, captivated bya little English
girl, and indulging in madcap frolics.
When he was banIshed to st. Helena.
the house designed for him was not in
readiness, and he took quarters with an
English family at the :. Briars." A lit
tie daughter of the family, named Eliza
beth, had no fear of the great Emperor,
and they had famous romps together.
One Of Napoleon's attendants was horri-
fed. one day, at finding the Emperor on
his knees, i'll n corner, whittier Eliza
beth had driven him, having first
snateled his sword, and nOrrishing it
vigorously, with threats of killing him.
She compelled him to fall on his knees
and bel, for mercy, and the attendant
surprised him in this attitude. st
Richland beacon. [volume] (Rayville, La.) 1869-1890, 1881-01-15
No More Hard Times.

Ifv ou will stop spending 50 much on
fine clothes, rich food and style buy good,
healthy food, cheaper and better clothing,
get mo,e real and substantial things of
life every way, and especially stop the
foolish habit of employing expensive
quack doctors or using so much of the
vile humbug medicine that does you only
harm, but put your trust in that simple,
pure remedy, Hop Bitters, that cures al
ways at trifling cost, and you will see
good times and have good health-Chron-
icle.
Richland beacon. [volume] (Rayville, La.) 1869-1890, 1881-01-15
seen. McClellan's" Noble Relations

1t is not generally known that Gen.
Mcclellan, of the United States army,
is blood relation Of the late Lord
Clyde. 81
Upon Miss Alicia Campbell, the only
sister of the Field Marshal, dying intes-
tate in December, 1863, the above dis
tinglished soldier and Mr.. p. s.. McLi-
yer, NJ. r., inherited, Is next of kin,
the fortune left to that lady by her
J brother. .... 'tv-r
:, On Christmas day, in. the above year,
she said to very old friend of Lord
Clyde: My brother put off too long
the making of his will the first thing /
shall do after the New Year will be- to
make NINE" But she did not see the
New Year or accomplish her resolve, for
she expired suddenly during the Christ
mas week.-London Vanity Fair.
Richland beacon. [volume] (Rayville, La.) 1869-1890, 1881-01-15
Guilty Of'XrOng.

Some people havea fashion of confusing
excellent remedies with the large mass of
patent medicines" and in this they are
guilty of a wrong There are some adver-
tised remedies fully worth all that is
asked for them, and one at least we know
of-Hop Bittcrs. The writer has had oc-
casion toluse the BItters in Just such a
climate as we have most of the wear in
Bay City, and has always found them
to be first-class and reliable, doing all
that is claimed for them.-Tribunc.
Richland beacon. [volume] (Rayville, La.) 1869-1890, 1881-01-15
fnanyillr iillNN News 7

John Stein, Esq, City Brewer, refer
ring to lis valuable qualities, said to a
News representative: | have used 81.
Jacobs Oil in my family and recommend
1t Ia my acquaintance. 1t has always
given the bet satisfaction and is truly Il
wonderful remedy.
Richland beacon. [volume] (Rayville, La.) 1869-1890, 1881-01-15

\ MURRAY HILL, New York, girl has
had one of her shapely feet modelled
IN marble, and has presented it as a
birthday present to her aflianced husband
for paper weight. A st. Louis girl did
the same thing. but the un;estheiic
creature to whom she is to be united
heartlessly utilized the gift as founda.
ton for bus new residence
Richland beacon. [volume] (Rayville, La.) 1869-1890, 1881-01-15
Walla Walla Waterman
Wise Words Of n Willir" Witness.

Al the close of q mas, meeting, accord
ing t. the report of the same published
IN Il LaGrangc paper, reference wae made
To- the phenomenal efficacy os St. Jacoh>
Oil in the many painful disease to which
mankind is subject. We refer to the
above rs showing how strong q hold the
Old German Remedy for Rheumati,m
has on the experience and good wishes
of the great public.
Richland beacon. [volume] (Rayville, La.) 1869-1890, 1881-01-15
A FINELY dressed Young woman wa

A FINELY dressed young woman wss
the complainant in Washington Polise
Court, and the prisoner an old woman in
tatters. What charge do you make o.
asked the Judge. 'Nagrancy," was the
reply. do Won know her?'' "She is
my mother, ] am sorry to say" The
spectators Missed. and the Magistrate
declined to commit the mother.
Richland beacon. [volume] (Rayville, La.) 1869-1890, 1881-01-15

AcxLr in Holt county, Mo, got en-
tangled in pie Of rails, and remained in
that condition for period Of forty-one
days. without food q water: z. came
Richland beacon. [volume] (Rayville, La.) 1869-1890, 1881-01-15

JEM MACE. the once well-known En-
glish pugilist, is keeping a large hotel
in Melbourne He is said to have be.
come "model moral man." and is,
moreover. making money fast.
Richland beacon. [volume] (Rayville, La.) 1869-1890, 1881-01-15
TIN be. through nanv . g,,den ,o,.o.

Tn be- through many a garden roves
And huns his lay of courtship DER;
But when he finds the flower he loves.
He settles there and huns no more"
and the product Of bis industry, com
bined with other materials, is made by
the manufacturers into that excellent
compound, Coussens' Honey of Tar. the
best cough medicine in the world. Price
5Oc. For sale by all druggists.
Richland beacon. [volume] (Rayville, La.) 1869-1890, 1881-01-15

in Thirty-sixth street. New York city, was IN.
able to even help Mr.. Vim. Mckee, Of Paterson.
n. j., suffering the agonies always attendant
upon diseased kidneys. As an honest man snl
practitioner he prescribed and cured him H.
using one bottle of Warmers Safe Kidney and
Liver Cure.
Richland beacon. [volume] (Rayville, La.) 1869-1890, 1881-01-15

vEdETINE Is great panacea for our aged
fathers and mothers, for it gives them strength.
quiets Their nerves, AND gives them Natures
Richland beacon. [volume] (Rayville, La.) 1869-1890, 1881-01-15

'EaETINE.-No medicine has attained sucb a
great reputation as this justly celebrated COM
Richland beacon. [volume] (Rayville, La.) 1869-1890, 1881-01-15

y - SAhA" W bHAW.
'e<k - ogen, whsrS<1UCalaf406Ese~tn .
where, mid the green moss, the red berries are
glowing;
Back through the shadovry years am going:
Far away back am going to-day.
Oh! the cedars are sobbing and moaning and sigh
ing,
YEARLY there, like soul that's diving
Ia all the earth sadder? my tired heart ia CRYING
Sadder and drearer as youth slips away?
Richland beacon. [volume] (Rayville, La.) 1869-1890, 1881-01-15

THERE is no necessity to neglect your bust.
ness if you will only use DIR. Bulls Cough Svr-
up at once; the most reliable remedy in the
world for Coughs, Colds, etc.
Richland beacon. [volume] (Rayville, La.) 1869-1890, 1881-01-15

THoxAs CARLYLE is IS years old, and
gets crabbeder and savager as he grows
older.
Richland beacon. [volume] (Rayville, La.) 1869-1890, 1881-01-15

A GOOD farmer is better than a Door
doctor, and . good horseshoer is better
than Bishop who breaches sermon that
nobody wants to heal. -Robcrt CoUver.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1881-07-01

DERKELEY & CO.,
ID Have the famous
NON EXPLOSIVE
RAIL ROAD HEAD LIGHT OIL!
STANDARD $50!
g. FECTLY SAF.E! 90 Il
Burns with soft and brilliant light:
~ Try it the next time you fill your lamps
apr8tf
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1881-07-01

RAILWAYS AND .-Ameri
can scientists are again discussing the
connection alleged to exist between the
operations of railways and the amount Of
rainfall. 1t is regarded as a remarkable
fact that before railways were extended to
the Pacific, the country lying between the
Sierra Nevada and Rocky mountains was
subject to an almost continuous drought.
Since then, however, the region has been
visited with frequent falls of rain. What
has produced the change is the question.
Some suggest that it is due to a change
in the electric state Of the atmosphere,
produced by the conduction of the subtle
fluid into the region by the iron rails.
Others assert that it is caused by the at
mospheric disturbances arising from the
frequent passing and repassing of trains.
1t is shown that up to 1854 the United
States had been periodically visited by
great and general droughts, but since that
year there has been no such visitation; or
in other words, that the building of such
a vast network of railways as has been
constructed in the past quarter of a CEN
fury has had the effect of promoting the
fall of rain. Since the general introduce
ton of railways in Europe. also, there has
been no drought such as previously at
short intervals caused widespread distress.
In the case of England it is remarked that
although the climate has been always hu-
mid there has been growing excess of
rainfall during the period of railway build
ing, until she now gets far more than is
beneficial to the crops. This has been no
ticeable to an alarming degree in the past
few years. We give these conclusions for
what they may be worth, and merely show
ing the drift of current discussion on this
point.-Iron World.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1881-07-01
jDoetrp.
The Orchard Lands Of Long Ago.

The orchard lands of long ago,
o drOwSy winds, awake and blow
The snowy blossoms back to me,
And all the buds that used to be.
Blow back along the grassy ways
OF truant feet, and lift the haze
OF happy Summer from the trees
That trail their tresses in the seas
OF grain that float and overflow
The orchard lands of long ago.
Blow back the melody that slips
In lazy laughter from the lips
That marvel much if any kiss
Is sweeter than the apple is.
Blow back the twitter of the BIRDS
The lisp, the twittef, and the words
OF merrimenu that found the shine
Of Summer time glorious wine,
That drenched the leaves that loved it so,
In orchard lands of long ago.
o, memory! alight and sing
Where rosy bellied pippins cling,
And golden russets CLINT and CLEAN,
AS in the old Arabian dream.
The fruits of that enchanted tree =
That glad Aladdin robbed for me,
And, drowsy winds, awake and fan
My blood. as when.it overran
A heart ripe as the apples grow
In orchard lands of long ago.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1881-07-01
milwaukee Evening wisconsin,

IHIIWdUKtU Evening WISCUrIoIi'I
The spirit OF mortal may not be very
proud, but we notice it wakes overly pro-
fame in some cases where rheumatism is
the moving cause. We use st. Jacobs Oil
| for ours and are happy.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1881-07-01

THERE is no sort of human paste, that
when it comes near the fire of enthusiasm
is not baked into harder shape.-Doaiel
Deronda.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1881-07-01
NJ A J. A e I A Z
POISON.

The principal cause of nearly all sickness at this
time of the year has its origin in disordered Liver
which, if not regulated in time. great suffering,
wretchedness and death will ensue. A gentleman
writing from South America says: 81 have used
your Simmons Liver Regulator with good effect, both
as prevention and cure for Malaral Fevers on the
Isthmus of Panama"
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1881-07-01

CoLIC IN HoRsEs.-A correspondent of
the New Y ORR Tribune says that for col
ic in horses he has used for years, and new
or known it to fail, the following prepara-
ton: One tablespoonful black pepper in
one pint of milk, and drench; it will af-
ford immediate relief.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1881-07-01

SOPHIE SWEET, IN GOOD COMPANY.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1881-07-01

CHECK REINs.-Never use check-rein
upon horse at work, as it is calculated
to worry and lDjure the animal more than
has heavy load to draw, he lowers his
head by bending forward and throws the
whole weight of his body against it. So
does horse if he is permitted to so. But
if the mans head were so tied back that
he could not bend forward, he would lose
the advantage of his weight; just so with
the horse. By taking off or loosening the
check-reln on horse at work, you not
only increase his muscular power. but
abandon fashion which is both cruel and
foolish,
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1881-08-18
THE EVENING STAR.
............AUGUsT IS, 1881.



recent communication to the French Acade-
my Of Sciences announces q new method of
taxing photographs in color. which. although it
Is not q solution OF the prime problem for photo
graphers-how to photograph nature in her own
hueS-lS at least some mechanical approach to
it. 1t is the invention Of NM. Oh. Cross and j.
Carpenter, and consists in taking three separ-
ate photographs of the red. yellow and blue
tints, then combining them. Three negatives
OF the object are first taken, one through screen
of orange liquid, one through screen of green
liquid, and one through q screen of violet
liquid. The varying opacities and trans
parencies of these negatives indicate the relative
quantities of red, yellow and blue tints iu the
object. The proofs are taken on plates of
glass coated with coagulated albumen. which
has imbibed bichromate of ammonia. A
transparent negative, or first photograph. is ap-
piled to one of these, and exposed for some min
utes to diffused light, so that the trahsparen-
cies and opacities of the negative shall imprint
plate is then plunged into a coloring BATH and
in the parts protected by the opacities Of the
negative the coloring matter spreads and fixes
itself. By repeating this operation with the
three different negatives the three colors are
combined on one glass plate, and a fair imitation
of tue original object is the result. Of course,
for the image obtained through the green screen
the cOloring bath Is red: for that through the
orange screen blue. and for that through the
violet screen, yellow. The same screens and
pigments serve to reproduce all sorts of poly
chrOmes. The screens hitherto used are glass
vessels filed with solutions of chloride of cobalt.
chromate Of potash and sulphate of copper.
When the electric light is used the Green is put
before the lamp, so that the object will be illu-
minated by a mOnOchrOmatic light and photo
graphed In the ordinary way.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1881-08-18
The Place Where They Shoot the Apparatus Out
OF q Cannon to the Fire.

When inquired Cwrites Chicagoan in Lon
DOM why the steamers are so small he replied:
..Becos we cawnt get bigger one to fire"
why not:" losses Gavin pull bigger
one than this ere. An wots Wore" this with
ferocious glare at me. ''wot nd be the good OF
aving bigger one than this 'ere?" Thinking
that had better explain why was so curious.
| ventured to suggest that larger steamers would
be more powerful, throw more water, and do
better execution generally. and that such a
change would improve the effectiveness of the
brigade. "Cawnt prove 1t. It's the first in the
world now. 1t don't need no improvin'. it
don't" .'Were you ever in Chicago?" "Sche-
cawgo? Where's that" ''In the United States.
Now if" ''0h. / see You're from the
place were they throws the firemen down stairs,
and shoot the happaTawtus hout Of a cannon to
fire. We've card ofthat place before. but we
cawnt do anything like that ere, you know
We don't know enuf ere, We don't We amt
'ighly enuf heddcated. we amt. We
don't shoot no happarawtuses hout of acannon,
we don't" And with a loud guffaw at the i'm
perceptible joke i'm his remark, he turned
away and began polishing up the machinery.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1881-08-18
DIED..

BELL. On Thursday, August 18th, 1881, at 8 80 Q.
m, MARTHA BELL In the twenty -hrst year Of her
Funeral from her sisters residence, No. 1920 9Th
street northwest Sunday, the 2lst instant at O'Clock
Pm.
CROWN: On Wednesday. August I7th 1881. sts:so
O'Clock, CHARLES T. CROWN. in the thirty -fourth
Funeral viii take place from his late residence CORNER
of and 18th streets northwest ON Faay, August 18Th
ct O'Clock pm.
FITZGERALD. On Wednesday, August IL. 1884. q
O'Clock, JOHN FRANCIS, youngest son Of Michaal
and Catherine Fitzgerald. aged two years. one month";
Funeral from the residence of his parents. No. 107 II
street northeast, Friday. August 18TH at O'Clock pm
FOLEY. Departed this life August 10th. 1881, ct IL
O'Clock p. M, MICHAEL T.. FOLEY, beloved hue-
band Of Wnnifred Foley, in the thirty NTH year al hi
May his soul rest in peace. Amen.
T es pl,S a hr a .ss
O'Clock.
HARRISON. On Wednesday. August 18th. 1881,
GEORGE HARRISON, aged seventy six years.
No Sis street west Esshinsson. eoeorsssoxn5 q
Friday. August 18th. 1t O'Clock pm.
STANLEY. On wednesday, August l7th 1884, HEu.
BY c. STANLEY in the thirty ninth year Of b. aga
northwest Friday, August 18th. q 30 O'Clock D. n.
Relatives aud friends are invited TO attend.
SULLIVAN. On Tuesday. August 18th. 1881, q
St. Elizabeth Asylum for the Insane. Mrs. AB6iE
SULLIVAN wife Of the late Jeremiah Sullivan In ~
Fifty fourth year OF her age. native Of County Ksrry
The funeral win take place from her late res,deno>
No. SOC 4th street southeast Friday the 10Th ina
1t O'Clock Pm Relatives md friends Of the family -
respectfully invited 10 attend.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1881-08-18
OOdfsiling.

From the Burlington Hawkeye.
We have been out on the briny deep after fish,
and the Hd,rkeye distinguished itself as usual
The Jester caught the first fish. And it was the
only fish of that kind taken all day.
We went out after Goldfish. 1t was pleasant
fish to catch. Catching Goldfish is like drawing
water with rope and bucket. 1t is a very
gamey f1sh-after it is cured for the western
market Limburger cheese isn't much gamier.
1t keeps up aperennial smell that grows stronger
and more decided as the years creep slowly by
Lorena. When the Spring time comes, gentle
Annie, the old Goldfish that hangs on a nail away
back in the darkest corner of the cellar dis
counts the noisy onions piled up on the middle
of the floor. and then it doesn't half try. The
dryer it gets the louder it grows. You must be
blind if you couldn't hear the flavor of a two
year-old Goldfish.
But when he is new he is quiet, and you miss
the old familiar bouquet. When you 60 for cod
fish you must first get your herring for bait. We
approached a lone fisherman for this purpose,
and besought him that he would lend us a few
herring. But he wasn't doing discount bust
ness then, and said he had only few-Oh, such
a very, very few.
"Well. couldn't you let us have three or
fOur?'
But he shook hishead sadly, as one who should
say he only had four or five
Then we shouted and cried aloud and said
| unto the lone fishermen:
''Lo, here is twenty-five cents, but what is
that to you? Will you see us die for the want of
| three small herring?"
And the lone fisherman dropped his line and
| made reach for that quarter, even as a drown
ing man reaches for crOwbar, and spake with
great alaerity:
"Oh, yes. have just about quarter worth. "
| And he gave US peck.
The sinker on a cod line is piece of lead
about the size and shape of corncob and it
weighs as much as an old fashioned family Bible
You fish very close to the bottom five feet or
ic hovl
ing up that deep sea sounding apparatus at the
end of your line. When you catch Goldfish it
doesn't add to the weight at ALL o, no; the cod
helps you to pull that sinker up to the surface,
and that makes yourload lighter That's the way
you know you have fish on. That's Just how
gamey the cod is
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1881-08-18
Tied to the Track.

AN ILLINOIS RUFFIAN FASTENS A BOY TO THE
RAILS TO BE RUN OVER.
Willie Cantrell, the Is year-old son of the sec
ton superintendent on the Indiana. Blooming
ton and Western railroad, was sent to field
Tuesday afternoon for potatoes. As he was on
his way home he was met by middle-aged man
with blue shirt and smooth face. He seized the
boy, threw him down, and with rope tied him
to the rails The man then secreted himself
short distance away. The road is curved and has
heavy grade. The passenger train due at 3:42
was upon the boy before it could be stopped. He
was struck by the side of the pilot, which broke
his ribs and one foot AS soon as the train had
passed the murderous ruffian ran to the boy, evil
IDENTITY expecting to find him cut i'm two. But
the lad had twisted himself to one side and es-
capped with the above-named injuries. The man
cut and threw away the rope that bound young
Cantrell, and then made his escape through a
corn field. The train was backed up and the
boy was found in ditch. moaning piteously.
Several passengers saw the man go up to the
boy after the train had passed over him, and
witnessed his flight Policemen and several par
ties are hunting for the brute, with the intention
of lynching him.