davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Arizona weekly enterprise., 1881-12-31
Opening Oysters.

There is just as much difference in the manner in which two men open shell oysters as there is in the way they go to church or walk on the street. Who has not watched thorough oyster-opener at an Eastern oyster market, and observed the tender manner in which he takes up the shell and looks at it, as though 1t was friend of his. He inserts his in- strument between the shells as delicate ly as dentist will probe an aching tooth, and by little turn of the wrist your oyster is uncovered and reclining upon the halfshell plump and juicy, in- viting you to fire him down your neck. How different 1t is when an amateur at. tempts to open oysters. He commences by getting red in the face, and knocking off an inch of the edge of the shell, and letting all the juice run out and drip down between his fingers. He knocks some skin of his thumb, and that bleeds, and your heart bleeds for the oyster. He inserts an iron that looks like Btove- hook into the shell, then pries and grunts, the shell opens and the oyster sticks to both sides of it and splits. He saws of the mantel-piece that holds the oyster to the shell, and hands you the half-shel with something on it that looks like scrambled oyster. The dirt from the shell gets on the oyster and it is about as much comfort trying to eat it as it is to eat hickory nut that has been cracked by laying 1t down on the side and mashing it with hatchet. The oyster opened by an amateur looks ragged and discouraged, and the man who opens 1t looks about the same, while the oyster opened by man who understands his business looks as hough it enjoyed life, and the man who opens it looks like thoroughbred who is not ashamed of his business, and knows he can do 1t as well as anybody. The world is full of men who do everything the way an amateur opens oysters. They try to do that for which they are not fitted, and 1t Is hard to make them be- heve they are not doing what they at tempt to do well, but they always act as though they wanted. to apologize for something being wrong. This oyster business IS little out of season, but you have all noticed how it is.-Peck's S,tn.
Arizona weekly enterprise., 1881-12-31
Too Much RemOrse.

There has been a feud of long stand ing between two Galveston darkles.. They were continually fighting and quar- rellng. Not long since one of them died, and, to the astonishment of the colored population, the other one attended the funeral. After the funeral services were over, the Rev. Aminidab Bledso, of the Blue Light Colored Tabernacle, met the surviving enemy, and said, impressively:
 "I was much pleased to see yer at de obsequies ob yore ole enemy. Hit does credit to de goodness oh yore heart. Hit shows dad yer don't carry yore present. ments beyond de grave. Eberybody is praisin' yer for yore goodness"
 "I dunno about dat ar. mad to lose half days work attendin' dat ar funeral, and de Bible says, Blzness fust and pleasure afterward, and tack de pleasure fust and did my work after ward. I reckon ought to be ashamed of myself. "-GatueStOn Ne,0s.
Arizona weekly enterprise., 1881-12-31
Rats that Love Tobacco.

It is we'll known that rats and mice, in addition to their proverbid slyness, fall into astonishingly disagreeable hab- its when their surroundings are such as to tempt them to depart from the tenn perate course characteristic of rodent fife. At celebrated tobacco house in St. Louis is bright, grayish-colored rat, fat and plump, that emerges from his hole during the daytime. leaps upon a pile of leaf tobacco. and eats and rel ishes the nicotine weed the same as it would dainty bit of toasted cheese. This animal is perfectly gentle, and its curious appetite has vouchsafed for 1t the the freedom of the entire factory. It Is looked upon in the establishment as the greatest of living curiosities, and pos eessed, ss it seems to be, with intelli- geace, it is permitted to frolic about the factory unmolested, and allowed to taste sparingly of the choicest importations.
Arizona weekly enterprise., 1881-12-31
FNnnY.

One IS very fortunate if ha.has wit enough to get out of funny dilemma without being laughed at. The poor Teutonic musician of whom the follow ing story is told by Southern doctor of divinity was not one of these fortunate ones.
 The doctor was pastor of @ fine city church. The organ lofs and choir gal lery were immediately in the rear of the pulpit, and little elevated above it. The organist wass German, who, though a fine performer, was not remarkable for presence of mind, and was easily disconcerted.
 The hour for afternoon service had ar rived, and, though the organist was in his place, the choir had not arrived. By some mishap, also, the key of the organ had been misplaced.
 The minister, not knowing these facts, solemnly arose, and, after an nouncing hymn and reading it, took his seat. There was no response from the organ or choir. Silence reigned su- preme.
 The minister and congregation became uneasy. All eyes were turned to the organ-loft.
 At length the organist, with fdgety manner and a very red face, came to the railing in front of the loft, and in a tone intended as whisper. but which was distinctly heard by all, made the following startling announcement
 Mist breecher, mister breecher, ve won't have no singing dis afternoon De key not coomed. and de lady val sings de sobrano bees not coombed, anG de rest of de people vat sings be not eoomed, and de organ bees not obened and ve vou't have no singing dis after noon, mister breecher, dat's so." The effect may be readily imagined.
Arizona weekly enterprise., 1881-12-31
Lime.Preseryed Wood.

Lime has been found successful as wood-preserver. The method, which is French, consists in piling the blanks in large tank, then covering them with quicklime and slaking them with water. The timber requires about week to be thoroughly impregnated with the lime water before it is taken out of pickle and slowly dried. The entrance of the mineral particles into the grain also ren- ders the wood harder and denser than before. Beech wood, for example, be- comes like oak, and, without losing the elasticity that fits it for tool-handles, IS far more durable than oak.
Arizona weekly enterprise., 1881-12-31

THE desire for ownership, for develop ment, for power, is good and useful one; but, to make it thoroughly wholesome force in human life, it needs to be blended with 8 sense of depend ence upon and trust in others.
Arizona weekly enterprise., 1881-12-31

"FRUrr eaten at night is banefu'. " This is one of those wise axioms proved to be true by Adam. His trouble was caused by eating an apple after Eve.
Arizona weekly enterprise., 1881-12-31

Bur, Miss Tomkins, do tell me now how old you are" "Ob but I don't Fl my age any mere. am just as old a, | ",.,-.'.s.r,. .' r. ieel, thought
Arizona weekly enterprise., 1881-12-31

such as Loss Of Memory, Lasaitnde, Nocternal Emission, Aversion to Society," Dimness eS Vision, Noises in the head; the vital fluid pase- ing unobserved in the urine, and many other diseases that lead to insanity and death
 DR. MlNTIEf s II w, who is 3 regular physician to forfeit FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS for a csss of this kind the VITAL RESTORATIVE under his special advice and treatmsns) will not cure, or for anything impure or injuri- ous found in 1t. DR. MINTIE treats all pri- vate diseases successfully without mercury. CONSULTATIONS FREE. Thorough ex- urine, S5 %. PRICE OF VITAL RESTO- RATIVE, S3 bottle, or four times the quaa- tity, $lo; sent to any address upon receipt of price or c. o. D., secure from observation, and in private name If desired, by A. t. MINTIE NJ. D.
 Il Kerry Street, San Francisco, Cal
Arizona weekly enterprise., 1881-12-31

IT is wise man who knows which '(i. hi, li ;,! is oloomarea on.
Arizona weekly enterprise., 1881-12-31
Il Kerry Street, San Francisco, Cal

DIR MINTIRs KIDNEY REMEDY. NEPHRETICUM, cures all kinds of Kidney and Bladder Complaints, Gonorrhsa, Gleet. Leucorrhea,. For sale by all druggists; s1 co 8 bottle six bottles for S5
 DR. MINTIE'S DANDELION PILLS, gre the best and cheapest DYSPEPSIA and BILIOUS cure in the market For sale by au druggists.
Arizona weekly enterprise., 1881-12-31
a PROFESSOR at Cornell, lecturing ol

 -si,seI fleet Of inc wird in some Western !, .s,l -. .naif,ed: lr travelling alcne iae t,a;. even -ssi.' ,Ia s touo'l fi l,..ss sya.d s.sI rsis.ed seLl 2 .O .,, ii' .SttIl j.at a ,li.r cf ...t r'.;l O,,g i.4,oi. 9, r. J. a..N.
Arizona weekly enterprise., 1881-12-31
Origin of Familiar Phrases.

You cannot say boo r to goose. " When Ben Jonson, the dramatlst, was introduced to nobleman, the peer was so struck with his homely appearance that he exclaimed, What you are Ben Jonson? Why you look as If you could not say boo ? to goose. "Boo r ex- claimed the witty dramatist, turning to the peer and making his bow.
 He's peg too low, Taking man down peg" may be traced to the peg ging, or marking the drinking cup, winch was introduced by St. Dunstan to cheek the incorporate habits of the times, by preventing one man from talk ing 2 larger draught than his compan- ions. But the device proved the means of increasing the evil 1t was intended to remedy; for the mJst abstemious were required to drink precisely to peg or pin, whether they could soberly take such quantity or not.
 "Blue Hen" is the nickname given to the State of Delaware. The origin of the term is this: Capt. Caldwell, an officer of the First Delaware regiment in the Revolution, was very fond of game cocks, but maintained that no cock was truly game unless its mother was a
 Dlu6 ueu. AS lo WIS all eXcSeulnBly popular man, his regiment was called "Ihe Blue Hen," and the term was af- terward transferred to the State and its inhabitants.
 There's many a slip
 Tween the cup and lip.
 The ancient Greeks had the following story as to the origin of this proyerb :: A King of Thrace had planted vine yard, when one of his slaves, whom he had much oppressed in that very work, prophesied that he should never taste of the wine produced in it. The monarch disregarded the prediction, and when at an entertainment he held glassful of his own wine, made from the grapes Of that vineyard, he sent for the slave, and asked him what he thought of his prophecy now. To which the other re- piled, :. Many things fall ont between the cup and the hp," and scarcely had he delivered this singular response be- fore the news was brought that mons trous boar was laying waste the favorite vineyard. The Eing, in a rage, put down the cup which he held in his hand, and hurried out with his people to at tack the boar, but being too eager the boar rushed upon him and killed him without his having tasted of the wine.
Arizona weekly enterprise., 1881-12-31
CUSTOM OFFICERS.

Collector, Charleston, ERNEST MCCLURE
 Dept. Collector, Tucson, W. T. ScorT. Inspector, S. NJ. BALLEsrERos and A. J. KEEN.
Arizona weekly enterprise., 1881-12-31

INT'L REVENUE OFFICERS. Collector, Tucon, THos. CORDS. Dept Collector, Yuma H. N. ALEXANDER,
Arizona weekly enterprise., 1881-12-31

U. s. OFFICERS.
Arizona weekly enterprise., 1881-12-31
LAND OFFICE.

PRESCOTT LAND OFFICE. Receiver, GEORGE SoUTEIL. Register, WM N KELLY.
Arizona weekly enterprise., 1881-12-31
The Great English RHmGdy

Is a never-failing Curs for Nervous Debility,
 Exhausted Yit ality, $ e m in a l W saknssz, Spermatorrhcss, LOST MANHOOD, Isnpo- tency, Paralysis, and all the terrible effects of Self youth ful follies, and excess es in maturer years--
Arizona weekly enterprise., 1881-12-31
lrizGna Weekly Enterprise
OFFICIAL DIRECTORY.
TERRITORIAL OFFICERS.
SUPREME OURT.

Chief Justice, c. c. w. FRENCH.
 DEFoREsr PORTER. AsSoci"'e 'us''oes W. II. STILwELL. Reporter Supreme Court, c. B. RUSH.
Arizona weekly enterprise., 1881-12-31

PHYLLIS, in all it forms, SEMINAL, WEAKNESS IMPoTENcY, and lost manhood can positively be cured. The sick and afflicted should not fail to call upon him. The D ctor has travelled ex- tensively in Europe, and inspected thoroughly the various hospitals there, obtaining great deal of valuable information, which he is com petent to impart to those in need of his servi- ces. DR. G1BBON will made no charge un- less he effect cure. Persons at distance MAY BE CURED AT HOME. All communications strict ly confidential. You see no one but the Doc tor. Persons writing to the Doctor will please state the name of the paper they see this ad- vertisement in. Charges reasonable Call or write. GgAddress, DIR. GIRBON, Box 75, Tucson, Arizona.
 e5Send s1o for psckageof medicine.
Arizona weekly enterprise., 1881-12-31
DISTRICT OURTS.

Judge 1st Judicial Dist, w. II. STuwELL Judge 2d Judicial Dist, DEFoREsT PORTER. Judge 3d Judicial Dist, c. c. w. FRENCH.
Arizona weekly enterprise., 1881-12-31

U S. Marshal, c. P. DAKE .U. s. Deputy Marshal, w. c. RouNpY. U s. Dept. Marshal, Florence, John c. Loss
Arizona weekly enterprise., 1881-12-31
To the UnfurtunateI 1
DR.. GIBBONS

DR.. GIBBONS
 Branch tDispensa- ry,4OS Pennington St., Near Church St. Tucson, A. T. Established in 1854, for he treatment of Sexu- S l and Seminal Diseas, } es, such as GoNoRRHEA. 5 SLEET, STRUCTURE, SY-
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1881-05-14
LOUISVILLE RACES.
A Most Interesting Fall Meeting OF the
Jockey club Expected,

SucheS VIVID hNpeCteus
LOUISVILLE, May l3.-The Louisville
Jockey Club has always been far ahead
Of any club in the world In the number Of
horses that Congregate In the spring meet.
ings, but this year the increase has
reached proportions almost incredible, %
there will beOver three hundred thorough.
breds gathered from the east, west, north
and south. Such an array bias never
bsen seen In any country. Excursion
trains will bring thousands 10 witness
llindocs struggle for derby, on which day
the field is Tres to TO the public. Hindoo'a
victory in the Blue Ribbon stake at Lex.
ington has not dauntOd the horse owners
here, while all CouCede his great proWesS
and speed.
" Is gaid that Sligo finished ahead Of
about the same field, with as much ease
and more daylight and that his stable
companion, Caly Canthess, Is much better
than Sligo. selex was worked milsS
Thursday, and has recovered from bis
Nashville accident.
Bowen 4 %. claim that Alhambra, who
cannot ran In much, Ia Hindoos equal on
a dry'traCk, aud Fellow Play has also 70.
gained his racing form, while Milton
Young's game pair, Getaway and Boot.
jack, have both demonstrated that they
are dangerous contestants.
The horses In Kentucky have oil been
short OF work, while Hindoo Ia In perfect
condition. There is much excitement all
over the country In regard 10 the result.
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1881-05-14
LORNE'S RETIREMENT.
Some Of Ihe Political and Social Reasons
said TO AetuAte II.


ST. PAUL, MINI, May lS.-It is pub
llshed here on what is claimed as authen'
tic and reliable information, that the Mar
quis OF Lorns has communicated to mem
bers of the Canadian Government his de-
termination to retire from the Governor
Generalship alter his Manitoba journey,
This decision has been reached alter care
iul and prolonged consultation with his
father, the Duke OF Argyle, and friends on
both sides Of the water, The principal
political reason which leads 10 the deter
mination is the fact that the Marquis does
not find his relationship with the Glad
stone ministry altogether harmonious. It
Ia also claimed that domestic reasons have
large responsibility for the Marquis' re-
tiremsnt. Socially their life has not been
q success, and they feel II keenly, Prin'
cess Louise Ia said to be too royal to find
pleasure in the society OF OLtowa, and her
project OF getting up a court in which she
should correspond to her mother, the
Queen, failed for want Of appreciation
among the ladies Of the Dominion Capital.
The Marquis retirement does not imply
that any other political honor Ia to be con.
ierred upon him. He will return TO Eng
land aud live In pleasant retirement.
Who will succeed him is not even an open
secret at this time,
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1881-05-14

A NEw ORLEANS gentleman during q
call yesterday al the ISrRLlloEScER office
expressed the opinion that the proposed
manufacture Of grape sugar by the com.
pauy forming here for that purpose would
Ds profitable When asked Why he
thought so he replied that he had met Al
New Orleans representatives from one OF
Two concerns at the Nohh-lhe ono al
Buffalo In pntticulAr-who told him thai
out Of tlIIy cents worth Of raw material
they could manufacture a product worth
800 We concluded to record his remark
LOT the encouragement Of the enl erprlsipV
gentlemen here who are getting DIP i
new enterprise in our midst,
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1881-05-14

TORONTO, May 13.-The Government
made no provision for entering Free
Thinkers on the census papers, and the
enumerators have refused to take any
notice OF that class. At meeting OF Free.
Thinkers, held here, the following reselu.
ton was unanimously passed:
That we regard this action as D deliberate
attempt 10 produce the false impression
that we ale o body 80 small in numbers
and influence as not to be entitled 10 con.
sideration when questions affecting our
rights as citizens Arise. 49,.
. That we pronounCs the census alto.
pether misleading and fraudulent, as fat
az It purports 10 record the religious opin.
ions Of the people, and In no respect a
fair test Of the extent to which the views
OF Free Thinkers obtain In the com
munity,
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1881-05-14

CLEVELAND, May l3.-Potatoes continue
very weak, and prices are irregular. The
stock on hand Is large, and more is arriv'
ing every day. There Is also large
amount OF commission goods md poor
stock on tho market, and this Is selling at
low prices. Holders Of Rose are especial.
ly anxious TO sell, on account OF their bud.
ding and consequent shrinkAge. They are
selling to-day at 75a9Oj. There is no de.
mand for them on track; as to the future
there Ia no certainty. Dealers think that
in short time the poor stock wilIall have
been sold, aud then the market will Inn
nroVA
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1881-05-14

nfis1rRdH lS making for our coal helds
sud ron ore by the Pittsburgh Southern
Ioad Wheeling loses this, but Clafks,
U1Ig VII gain It II abe tnaneuv uvers prop.
Wy and that TOO with PittsburRh money
mlN'rib, Gl,ndilc, ". "a.
Non constat" as the lawyers say,
winch wax, being literally interpreted meant
"a" We cannot zee II In that light. Wheel
wv loses no ore or coal in ths case. nevei
a.''ng received either, except in q OasuG
way, hom the quarter indicated. ",
.iPeH to receive Virginia and West vlr
nnla ores by the river failtoad when
Su SSnn.c'' with the Chesapeake 4 Ohio a
Su1'Ie''on. Wheeling is in no wise dit
,ut0ed at the ProSteas Of any rsilroa
,.'o any part Of the State. She has sc
', we, al such small Try ioollBhneaS. sh
'p''" to hold her own With Pitt
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1881-05-14
GELDERT sTILL GOING.
DrearieHt FnTce Ever Played Under
the GuIHe Of PedeStFinnlHm.

DreArIeht Farce Ever Played Und0F
the GuISe Of PedestrIRnIsm.
NEw YORK, May l3.-ln his starting
walk at the American Institute Hall Gel.
dert had 4O3 miles scored. At 3o'clock
this afternoon there was not paying
spectator in tho building. A reporter
asked Geldert whAthis Intentions were. He
replied: ITO make 500 miles; and shall
accomplish that by o'clock tomorrow.
| am rs fresh now as when l started, be.
cause there has been no inducement to
attempt anything extraordinary. Want
Of patronage and competitors make it
a dreary task, but am taking Ennis at
his word. BY completing 5O0lmiles shall
get 20 per cent Of the receipts" The 70.
porter asked az to the receipts and was
told that "at II o'clock yesterday there
had been five huHdred and 6ity.one dolt
lara and sixty cents taken In. Since then
the ti3ket taker has received one dollar
and fifty cents, that makes 1868 TO-"
Where does that oddlChange come irom2'
asked the reporter. "0h, we are accom-.
modsting here. Bnppose some boy has
been admitted for 10 cents" OF this sum
GeIdert will yet 10 per cent, or 1881 81 less
his entrance fee.
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1881-05-14

Tax Land League meetings in Ireland
aHliVely, and no mistake. Mt. Dawson,
MP was addressing one the other day al
hEnAI'omethins, when The following col
loQuy occurred.
A VoiCs-To h with the Land bill,
Another voiCs-To h with the
three F'S. "'i' '"'
4 Third vOice-Pat that man ont,
,S, at. DaTsonIThe only thing l can say
aoout my friends remark Ia that II occutt
y me that he may some time or othel
IIaye'o I. propose a fourth +, and Il the land
p.us Ts viii not accept our moderate thret
Eve Eve WI offer them a fourth, and sat
JyIsl'! n. 81 Tenure, Fair Rents, Free Sale, q
~. loud Cheenl
lbs Z the Fly in the amber Of the ItiSt
HonV Rule cause.
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1881-05-14

Pouring Ia for ConiInuanoO At . ~ Per
Cent.

Cent.
WAsuisaroS, MAY 14.-Thers were out.
standing sAtO,O29,O5O in per cent bonds
Of the series Of 1881, including registered
and coupon, and also those embodied In
the one hundred and hrst call, issued by
Secretary Sherman, which had not been
edeemed, and Of the $26, 600, 900 embFac.
al In the one hundred and lirst call there
remains outstanding but $40 02bT 400.
1894 $50 having been redeemed since May
I, al which time there were $l0, l9S 800
ontslanding. Total Dmpuht Of tue 9 per
Cetlts outstanding to-day 10 theietOre S54O,
n9l 100. which amount inCluuPa registered,
Souboti, called and uhCalled bonds under
he one hundred and third call for bonds
which was Issued by Secretary Window
yeslefdRy, The ltst OF the 8 per cents
ysceiyel for continuance At 3 per cent
vii lie the lest 10 be redeemed by the call
WhdsT section 8 OF the act Of 1870,
Whleh feuuites that The last number
issned Rhsll be the Hfst called for fedemp'
lion, There we're received aL the Depart
ment to-day S2l ,507 800 Of Registered pei
cente, 10 be continued under the terms o.
the circular Of yesterday, al 81 per cent.
Ths bulk Of this amount came from the
Nsllonal Banks. The Treasury officers are
n Inc opinion that the large amount re
ceived is due 10 the anxiety oi the holder
10 Vel them In the banks before tht
limit Of the amount to be continued u
feSobed, Others think that the largt
amount 10 due to the TACT that the frs
numbers oi the gonLhred bonds issuet
will be called for redemption, The 0 pc
cents continue 10 arrive for extension Il
. 81 per cent. II 10 estimated tha. there ar
no more than three millions Of the Herie
, outstanding and when the transactions Il
! Europe are heard from II 10 consIdefe
that there will Oe very lev II any Of th
bopdo let Tor redemption,