National Republican. (Washington City (D.C.)) 1872-1888, 1881-10-15
oIvlL-sERvroE REFORM
An THAT should Be Nccessnry
western Man witnessed.
To the Editor Of THE nErunLrcAN'

western Man Witnessed.
To the Editor OF THE RErunLtcAN;
While this all-absorbing subject seems
10 trouble the minds Of such able astue statesmen
as Gentleman George Pendlcton, Carl schurz, and
that glorious back. action fusileer, George William
Curtis our mcdltations during our weary pilgrim
age TO and from our daily labors in connection
with our twenty years experience as politician
and five years service as Government clerk
should, we think, entitle us to come recognition as
an advocate OF that great political bauble called
civil service. We have become fully satisfied that
there Il vast field for improvement In our pres
ent mode of distributing the Government pa
tronage, and yet the remedy Is so extremely SIM
pie that we are surprised TINT these three n q.
have as yet not succeeded inmaking the discovery.
We believe It to be our duty
As LOYAL CITIZEN
to give the people OF these United States the bene-
flt of our late discovery. Having the utmost conf
dence in the press Of our country as means of In
struction we most humbly ask space for this our
simple suggestion:
First-Inthe preliminary examination Of oppli-
cants as wards or guardians 10 the exchequer OF
this great Republic we would require an atiirmo-
tive answer to the six following quesiions
l. Are you n Stalwart Republican,
2 We're you soldier in the Union army during
| the late rebellion?
g. Did you receive nm honorable dscharge2
4. Are You votcr2
5. Are YOU entitled to voter
G. win you use all honorable means TO secure
the triumph of the Republican parly2
| This, in connection with common English edu-
| cation, is
ALL THE CIVIL SERVICE NECESSARY
to secure guarantee that all the vast interests Of
| this Government are in safe hands. II Is an In
fallible rule that brave men are honest. We will
now give the public sample OF the Hayes, Schurz,
and Walker combination plan. About one year
ago disabled soldier from one Of the Western
States applied to the above firm for position in
the Census Once. Our hero had read section 1Tji
to heads Of Departments, SC, and believed his
claim to be valid. He also Informed this sleek
haired West Point cadet that he was Stnlwart Re-
| publican. lie was very politely informed that such
tribes were not taken into consideration. but that
In order to be n good and useful clerk he must
have n thorough knowledge ofastronomy, philoso.
ply. Greek, aud Latin.
THIS WAS THE DYNAMITE EXPLOSION
that blasted our heros hopes and he instantly
shrank from tho august presence OF his most
hiehness to mediate on what a blessing II was
that our Government was so willing to stand by
and defend those who In the hour OF peril
bravely defended It during the late unpleasant
ness. aud while crossing tho Avenue near Thr-
tecnth street, he was suddenly aroused from hi.
rcverie by the stylish appearance 0f an elegant
thrce-seatcu DurOucDc, urAWn ny pair OIL uOD'
tailed black horses, neatly caparsoned and Will
gOld-plated harness, driven by II lvcred for
esner In this noble turnout were seated four
young men, each wearing gold bowed eye. glasses
and their delicate hands were neatly encased In
kid gloves.
| OUR WESTERN HERO
noticed that these young nabobs alighted in from
OF n building used by the Government. and hi
natural curiosity caused him to closely observ,
their movements, and to his great surprise he saw
them enter the said building and take seats eact
at his respective desk, aud by asking messenger
found seated near the entrance, our hero learned
these high toned gentlemen were the sons OF for
eign consus who were only transient residents o
this city, and that they were highly educated anC
understood astronomy, philosophy, Greek, an'
, Latin Here, then, was the secret. This was civi
service on the combination plan-glt- edged, red
tape civil service. In an instant the truth nashc
, To the mind of our disabled soldier and with
heavy heart he wendell his way to his hotel, pal,
his bill, aud LEFT the city In disgust Perhap
, some one who reads this
MAY DOUBT THE ASSERTIONS
herein stated. We are ready with the proof whe
, called for. We are also ready to prove that not
withstandlng the Revised Edition calls II Hade,
we can assure this combination clique that til
future sulphuric temperature will be sufficient I
forever make such small souls as they posse:
writhe in agony when Gabriel blows his trump,
, In the morning. ii. B.