Morning journal and courier., 1881-10-17

went nearly wild with ungratifed curiosity through the pranks of mischievo1s school girl, who was perpetually sending him love letters in which she declared that she never missed single night when he sang, and that when he left New York on his tour with her majesty's company she should follow him and be present at every performance.
 Plato Johns6n's Complex Problem.
 "A man, said Rev. Plato Johnson in the course of very elegant sermon, C is a very curus animule. He is de only animule dat don't have good time when he is a baby. Did dat idee ever eur to your mind before After he is dead he may go to hebben, but after he's born, an till he gifts able to take of hisself, he has no comfort, an he don't let nobody else hab any. Look at de dogs, wat time dey has togedder. Dey is born free or fo' at time, so dey needn' be lonely, an de minute dey gets dere eyus open dey begins to play an fool wid each other an to 'joy deirselves. Look at de lamb. Well, dat lamb of Mary's had good deal, better time dan Mary had herself before she was big enough to go to school. Whoever heard of lambs havin' de toothache or de measles or collie? Wen night comes de calf lies down quiet by de side of it's mudder, and dat's de last you hear of it till sunrise nex' mornin'. Did you ever hear of calf havin' de chicken pox or de humps? Echo answers, None of dose things 'curs in de lower animule world Now how is it wid Oe human DaDy! lie amt gen rally III Qe world morn half an hour before he begins to let de whole neighborhood know dat he's come at last an intends to stay. He's got an immortal soul, which Mary s lamb had to go wid4ut; but it does seem to me, brethren, dat he pays for dat privilege wid lot of things dat de lamb and de dog wouldn't have on no consid ration. He no sooner gets well started before he has to bite rubber ring all day to get his teeth through, an wen dey's comin' through the fader has to tote de baby all nite, an de baby yellin' all de time loud huff for town crier. No, de fac is dat de human animule done have no happiness till he grows big huff to have home of his own, an even den his misery has just begun. Brethren, dis complex problem has spilled my sleep great many times."
 Cost of General GarfieId7s Sickness and
 Funeral.
 From the Indianapolis SentineLl
 President Garfield was shot on the second day of July, died on the 18th of September, and was buried or placed in a tomb, on the 26th of September-in all eighty five days. Congress will be called upon to defray the expenses of the sickness and of the funeral. It is also understood that Congress will be called upon to vote sum of money to Mrs. Garfield It will be remembered that when the nlustrious Lincoln was assassinated Con gress managed to vote his widow pension of S3 900 year. It is quite probable that Congress will vote Mrs Garfield the full sal ary of the President for the year, which will give her, say, $25,OOO. An effort will be made to give her pension of $5,000. Should that be done, demand will be made to increase Mrs. Lincoln's pension to that amount Mrs. Garfield is now well provided for; an income of at least $12, ,000 year is already secured. If she obtains apension of S3, GOO, her regular income during her life cannot fall short of $15,0OO year. In ad- dition to this, the widow will doubtless have about $100,O00, and in a pecuniary point of view she will be vastly better off than the widow of the lamented Lincoln.
 MT. Private Secretary Brown, who has at tended to all the purchases of the Presidents sick room and receipted for all goods received, estimates the cost of the Presidents sickness at $1OO, 900, which would be at tho rate of S1, ,25O day Of this cost the doctors bills will form fhe largest item, say $53,000 Of this amount Dr. Bliss will want $25, ,000, Drs. Agnew and Hamilton SIP, GOO each, Dr. Key burn $3, OOO and Mrs. Dr. Edson $1 1000. Drs Woodward and Barnes will get nothing, unless Congress chooses to recognize their services as being not strictly in the line of their duty army officers. It IS thought the total cost of drugs will not exceed $500
 Such things as beef extract, koumiss, whis- key, brandy and wine were all donated, and there is said to be 8 vast accumulation of drugs, patent medicines, liquors, &c., at the White House, forwarded from all parts of the country, which will doubtless be given to the poor or WdSnlnBJOu 1u0 euuSyI- yania railroad moved the President to Long Branch, brought the remains back to Wash ington, and took them to Cleveland, for which, it is understood, no charge will be made.
 The expenses at Elberon are set down at S1 900. The funeral ceremonies at the cap ital are estimated at $1,00O, including the decoration of buildings. The cost of the trip to Cleveland for Senators and Represen- tives, hire of carriages, etc., is estimated at $5, 900, cost of telegraphic messages, $2.000; undertakers' bills are estimated at $5,000 and it now looks as though $10O, ,O00 would meet every demand, but there is a possibility that much more will be required. The State of Ohio pays all expenses of transportation of body, escort, etc., after passing State line; estimated as follows:
 Payment of troops for four days $ 5,G0O Transport ft10n o,OuO Subs1stence ,ov S,oov Transportation of body. l,600
 IotSl -''-- ''' -. -pA1Voo
 At Cleveland the expenses are estimated as follows: