Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1881-11-09
INTERVIEW WITH A SMALL
BOY,
Who Tries to Break the MonOt-
Ony OF Prison Life by Play
ing the "Umpah."

Who Tries to Break the MOnOt-
Ony or Prison Life by Play
ing the "Umpah."
\ small boy leaned out OF the rear
third-story window OF his fathers house
in Brooklyn, Yesterday afternoon, look
ing at the sky, and at times breaking
out with the tune, SIN the North Sea
Lived a whale His noise attracted his
newspaper neighbor, who also leaned
out and said; "Well, George, how are
you?"
Use a prisoner locked up on bread an
water" George replied, lust cause |
didn't know it was loaded. You see,
father was in the army, and last week
when you heard him tirin' off his pistols
Ire was shootin' at cat. He shot five
times, and the cat looked up and smiled
when he got irou'. Says |, Father, did
you ever kill man wneH you was a
sOldier" thinking, YOU know, that he
cOUl dn't shoot iura cent. He says, i
S'poSe 50 Well | says, You muster
bin close enough to hit him with an
axe, and he sent me into the house.
Well, | seed whore he hid his pistol in
his overcoat, and yesterday got it out,
an there was an accident. lei, sure
il wasn't loaded, for didn't near father
fire it oil" Iput thunder my piller, n
| waited iOr supper 10 be over, 'cause |
wanted to scare the girls. Girls always
hOller when they see pistol. Well,
our minister came to tea. Ministers are
the greatest hands to come to tea; it's
half their work TO go round an eat
suppers with the ladies. Father went
down to the convention, and Bess and
Lily, them's the girls, went into the
parlor TO see the minister didn't get
sleepy. 'Bess.' says |, lend me your
blanket shawl for a few minutes. Iwant
to be Indian brave. wrapped the
shawl round me, put fathers cane over
my shoulder for gun, n then | got
the pistol, n crept softly down to the
parlor go they wouldn't know Indian
was Skirmishin' round their camp. |
pushed open the door, n there was the
minister and Bess sittin' at opposite ends
OF the soty, N Lii was CrOchetlng a.
lamp-mat. All was still, N says, The
hour has come Then | give three war
whoops, n rushed N and said, Sur
render, or | shoot There was panic.
The girls went into mysteries, n the
preacher said. MY son, mebbe that PTS
tots loaded.
Says !, Slender, pale chief, or III
shoot yer dead in yer tracks They all
made a rush at me to take the pistol
aHav, n fred. Lordy, what noise.
| was skeered most to death. The bullet
went into 9 picture OF the signers OF the
Declaration of Independence, and took
of the head OF one OF the siguers. The
preacher turned pale n | kuOwd what
| was goin' TO ketch. The girls cried
like as though there was a Jun raj, n |
was whipped. | dreamed all night |
was iichtiu' the Indians, n when
woke up this moruin' | felt sure my
name would he in the papers. They
gave me bread n water for breakfast n
wouldn't let me see newspaper. SO |
thought III escape. tore up the two
sheets, tied one end to the bureau
drawer, and WAS cjimbin' down like
folks do at 4 fire, when somethln' give
way. fell about thousand feet, |
thought, | come down so hard. ! hit
the stone area, MT seemed 10 me as II II
WAS night and WAS loOkin' at about a
million stars. didn't know nOthin' for
a minute. Then | come to-
"What broke
"Nothin' broke; the bureau drawer
came cut. | oughter tied on 10 the gas
fixture. Father wouldn't give me a
newspaper, but he gave me another
lcliin' and some more bread n water.
| s'pose now I'll be month on br, al n
water
But you mustn't make so much
noise"
THAT was op'ra was singin'. Don't.
YOU like op'ra Well, YOU don't care
ii | play the umpah -
WHAT is the umpah ?'
why, didn't You never hear brass
band going down the street? One man
with little horn goes, TIA te.rent-ta-ta-
ta.ta, and man with a big horn goes,
'um-pah, um-pah, um.Pah,' That's the
umpah play
As the ncighbor drew in his head the
small boy began on the "umpah,' and
he was playing it when the reporter
We Mt away.