The Portland daily press., 1881-03-01
Detroit Post.)
Office Hours.
An Entertaining Little Scene in a County
Clerks ONCE.

1t is generally known that the office hours of
the county clerk are from 0 a. IN. to p. m,
and that the office is closed at the latter hour.
to enable the clerk and his deputies to clear up
the days business by o'clock. The office
hours named would seem to be long enough to
give anybody who had business to transact
with the county clerk, ample time. A well
known business man was not suited with the
hours, however, and descended upon the Office
yesterday with a venomous energy that was as
offensive as it subsequently proved ludicrous.
The county clerk and two of his deputies
were busily engaged in posting books. entering
and filing papers, etc., about 40 o'clock, when
there came knock at the door. As that sort
of thing was not unusual, no attention was
paid to it. The knock was soon followed by
the iolliest kind of fs. tattoo, which also
failed Of its purpose. A moment of silence fol-
lowed, interrupted by the hurried scratching
of the clerks pens and the sound of rustling
papers The person outside was growing i'm
patient, and in another moment had evidently
raised one foot and both hands in sullen pun
ishment of the unyielding wood. The noise
became so turbulent that deputy Hosmer went
asked what was the matter. There stood re-
vealed business man of the city, who is
known to haze business hours as unyieldinc
as granite, and who would no more think Of
paying out penny or receiving deposit after
3 o'clock than he does of going to heaven to-
day.
Business man.-"Why don't you let me in?
What do yon mean? Is the county clerk here?
We elected him for our accommodation What
do you mean by locking your doors? What do
you keep me standing outside for? Where's tho
county clerk?
Mr.. Liggett. You seem to be excited, sir. L
am the county clerk.
B. M.-"What do you mean, sir We elected
you to serve the people. What do you want of
same moment aWheres rest the @ county @ % clert9s er s
Mr.; L. Ian, ~ am the county clerk"
Mr.. L. repeats his statement. So does the
b. m. Then he breaks loose again:
81 have business to transact here. Why
didn't you open your door? What are you
locked in here for? What do you mean? We
elected you.
Mr.. Liggett had no opportunity to thank his
visitor for securing his position for him. He
will doubtless make it point to call on him
in the near future and assure the plural IN.
of his undying gratitude. In the mean time
the visitor storms on and the county clerk sue
ceeds in stating that business hours are
from o to 4.
b. NJ. -"You were all inside, sir. You heard
me rap. had business to transact"
Mr.. L., who begins to lose his patience "If
you had business, why didn't you come in busi-
ness hours?" and he takes the trouble to cour-
teously explain the office rules and necessities
B. NJ. 81 don't care anything about that.
1t don't make any difference to me. 1 want to
know what you want of me?'' and the bluster-
brandishes the paper. ''why don't you at
tend to YOUR buSineSS?"
Mr. L., who begins to get little red in the
face-"We won't say anything more about it.
Mr.. Hosmer, see what the gentleman wants."
But b. m. wasn't through and continued his
TRADE. The clerk finally repeats his statement
with some decision, and in the meantime Dep
uty Clerk Hosmer takes the paper. A genial
smile, like the ripple of southern breeze on
the CLASSY bosom of a lake, steals over the hith-
erto impossible features of Mr.. Hosmer.
The Deputy-''Is this anything for us? What
is it? An alley opening notice?" and the gen.
ial smile expands.
A Post, and Tribune reporter, who had en-
tered the Office before 4 o'clock and been occu-
pied with the court record, at this point snick-
ers audibly The b. M glares at him ferocious-
ly, and the reporter turns his back to chuekle
at his ease. The good deputy's smile seems
suddenly to have spread infectiously all round
the office. and another snicker from the re-
porter is echoed from behind the desk in the
further corner OF the room. The obstreperous
visitor, who had been standing on first one
foot and then another like cold-toed chicken,
glares around the room again, and again un-
burdens himself.
"Well, suppose it is an alley opening notice.
Isn't this the county clerks Office? What do
you mean? What do you want of me?''
The deputy's face Immediately becomes as
solemn as night and with tears in his eyes and
an unaffected tremor in his voice, he says qui-
etly, my dear friend. we don't want anything
of you. We are SO sorry, but we cannot do
anything for you. This is the county clerks
Office (another reportorial snicker that
threatens guffaw) ''but we haven't anything
| to do with opening alleys. Perhaps YOU had
better inquire of the city clerk. We are sorry
| to have you, you know, but it's the only thing
| you can do. Goodbye" he added, amid a
| loud laugh all around as the angered but hui
| the Office. Somehow a man never feels happy
when he has made jolly old idiot of himself