Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1881-08-19
!" Simply a Cueincidence. ;,


'Durin dc pas week, said the Presi
dent, as the dust settled down little,
Il have received scores of letters akin
me if ! am de Gardner who has lately
bin 'lected President of Liberia. | desire
to say right heah dat am not de pus-
son. 1t am simply Il eueincidence of
names"
"Cueincidencc? ?" gueried the Rev.
Penstock, as the President paused.
Yes, sab, cucincidence, sab"
II begs your pawdon, sab, but
am
''Brudder Penstock,' said the Old
man, III very solemn tones, ''de penalty
for interruptin' dis char when he am
talkin' is Il fine of six hundred dollahs.
You have bin guilty of dis oflense mo-
dan twenty times, an muffin, but my
respect for your cloth has prevented
de enforcement of dat penalty"
But | desired to k'rect de language
Of de char. De char said cueinci-
dence."
K'rect de language Of dis char,
What has language got to do wild our
purceedins heah? Sartinly | said it
was cueincidence of names. What
am wrong about dis? Doan' cueinci-
dences happen cherry day? Doan' We
hear of dem in cherry issue of de papers =?
Can't we fin dem ON every Street
co'ner?'
YES, sab, but"
"Brudder Penstock, sot down-sot
down wild all Your might. Do YOU
'sp Sc dat de President Of dis club has
stood still an let de world move away
from him since he was 'lected. Not
much, sab! | am free to acknowledge
dat sich words as 'carniverous' an
capillary stretched out rod long in
my eyes 10 Vars ago, but whar am dey
dow What, sab, could sit down
wid You in de mawnin' and spend de
hull day on SIGH words as .contempor-
aneously,, Unanimously and 'authen-
ticlty, an not sweat Il ha'r. Doan'
emagine, sab. dat you has get all de
eadieashun in de kentry. Your teef
look white. an you keep yer ha'r well
lied, but de calamitious infringements
artistically portrayed toward de indie
faugable seouestration may have a
carboniferous understanding.
Penstock wilted. In twenty one
seconds he lost seven pounds of fat and
ali his confidence, and il will be long
time before he RECEIVERS from the avail
anehe. Cheers greeted the Presidents
grand fms, and some one took advan-
tage of the excitement to hit the sleep
ing Elder Toots full in the mouth with
a musty banana.-Detroit Free Press.
Something the Papers Did Not Get.
4 Washington dispatch to the Cleve-
land Leader Saturday, gave the follow
ing: There were many rumors afoat
to-day about the President. and his con
dition was made out to be much worse
than il really was. Do you remember
asked the Lieutenant detailed TO COM
uand the United States troops i'll the
Executive Mansion grounds, 10 your
correspondent to-day. the last day |
was stationed here? 1t was on Tuesday,
the 18th Yes, l remember the day.
Il was when the Presidents pulse rose
so much higher than at any previous
time. We'll, il rained very hard that
night. was compelled to sleep in the
east room Of the White House. You
may not know it, but the physicians
gave the President up for dead that
night The Vice President was sent for
and remained until nearly morning.
All the members of the Cabinet were
present and Justice of the Supreme
Court was at hand to administer the
oath. The physicians had no idea that
the President would live through the
night. He did, though, and improved
50 much before daylight that the Cab
met all left for home. 1t was agreed
not TO say snything about it, and the
newspapers never had an inkling of the
matter. / seem to come here on lucky
days continued the officer. l was here
on the first day of the shooting, on the
night ofthe 18th, when he was so bad,
and again to-day when he has had his
chills.'