Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1881-09-16
Ladies Who Call.

Ladies Who Call.
SOME OF THE EXACTIONs AS WE'LL AS
PLEASURES OF SOCIETY DESCRIBED.
| No term admits of wider interpreted
ton than visiting. no subject is capable Of
matter of formal visiting has led to the
writing of innumerable books. The decay
of social visiting is cause of regret TO all
the old-fashioned people who remember
how agreeable it was. The constant effort
to make the two divisions shake hands, to
add sociability to our formality and to Gov
er all the forced conditions of q rapidly
growing and constantly changing society
these are the easily besetting difficulties
of a difficult subject.
The original plan of an ''acquaintance"
was to leave card once year on all ene's
friends personally, with the hope and the
remote expectation of finding two out Of
three at home. When society was smaller
this was possible, but it soon grew to be
improbable. particularly in large clties.-
This finally led to the selection of recep-
tion day, which held good all winter. That
became impossible to busy people and was
narrowed down to four Tuesdays in one
month. That resolved itself into one 5
O'Clock tea, and if a lady got lame, lazy,
or luxurious, even the last easy method of
receiving ones friends became too much
and cards were sent in an envelope. Now
according to the strict rules of etiquette,
one card left at the door or one seat in an
envelope by post continues the acquain-
lance. We can never know what exigen-
ces of work, what sudden pressure of ca
lamity, what stern necessity for economy,
may prompt a lady to give up her visiting
for a whole winter. Even when there is
! no apparent cause. society must ask no
| questions, but must acquiesce in the most
| good-natured view Of a subject. Still we
| are not pleased if we receive Mrs. Brown
card by post and our next neighbor re-
ceives personal visit from her, We all
| wish to he the recipient of the VISIT
Therefore unless lady can call on all her
formal acquaintance she had better call
personally on none. If she gives one re-
ception year and invites all her friends
she is then at liberty to refrain from either
calling or sending a card, unless they have
invited her to wedding, or a dinner, or
lunch, or christening or some very partic-
ular invitation which she must return by
[ an early personal call. The very formal
and punctilious say within week, but
that is often quite impossible. And if
lady have day, it is rude to ignore that
fact. One should be particular to call on
that day.
Some people who have been keeping up
society for many years get swamped with
acquaintance. If they hope to do any
thing else in the world but drive around in
a carriage and leave cards they must ex-
honerate themselves from blame by giving
reception, having day or an evening
for receiving, and then trust to the good
nature OF society, or its forgetfulness,
| which is about the same thing, to excuse
them. But from the trials of those who
have too much visiting to do we turn to
those who have all the means and applian-
ces of visiting and nobody to visit. The
young married woman who comes to New
York or to any large city to live often
passes years of loneliness before she has
made her acquaintance. She Is properly
introduced. we will say, by her mother-in-
law, and then, after a round of visits, in
which she has perhaps imperfectly appre-
hended the positions and names of people,
she has long illness or goes into mourn
ing, or the cares of the nursery surround
her. and she is shut out from society until
it has forgotten her, and when she is ready
to emerge it is difficult for her to find her
place again in the visiting book. IT she is
energetic ana clever she surmounts this
difficulty by giving tea or a series of re-
ceptions, getting herself put on all sorts Of
fashionable charities and committees by
making herself of use in society in some
agreeable way, and she thus very soon
picks up her dropped stitches. But many
young women are without the courage and
tact to do this thing. They wait, expect
ing that society will find them out and,
taking them up, do all the work and leave
them to accept or deny civilities as they
please. This society never does. 1t has
too much on it's hands. A few very con- !
spicuously beautiful or gifted women may
occasionally receive such favors, but these !
are not for the rank and file.
Every young woman who has the time |
and strength should try to make at least |
one personal visit to those who are older |
than herself, and she should have a great |
deal of charity in the matter of the return
visit. Of course one has a right to observe
if her visit is constantly ignored, and she
should not press herself upon cold or IN
different acquaintance, but she should be |
''slow to WRATH and if she is once invited |
to lady's house 1t is equal to a dozen calls