The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1881-11-22
Eow they Missed the Masquerade.

| !hc, us he Hurricu III, not anu Ofcatll'
less, late from his business, did .yQl
get me that fancy dress for the mas.
querF de to.uightp
| lfsall ready, replied Mrs. Spoop.
einlykc, beaming. You go as, le,
nie sec, i go, as a Spanish guitar
girl, and YOU sgo as-as--ii's either
Louis NV, ors~tJiiver Cromwell or
sir Robert Burns, I've forgotten
which the man called if.g ~
do, do ! ? said Mr.. Spoopendyke,
glaring around. gOas one of 'eln,
do |? AS they are alt dead, and as
will do for all thrse, perhaps you goi
y coffin. Show ms the coffin. Fetch
ont The inicronvcrtiblc catafalqnc
and help Inc on with il. Has 1t got
sleeves?
II isu't coffin. explained Mrs,
Spoopcud, he. 1t Is n ,lnubet and
Its doublet, is itY Well that re-
lieves me of one OF 'em. | thought
from the way you spoke. Mrs. Spoop-
endykc, 1t wasa iriplct. Is there n
ro isers will, ii? Got Il shirt | told
you to get bandit suit, didn't /?
Fet h out this Cromwell business
Show me thiS man Burns! Any
sword go with iii
Mrs. Spoopcndykc brought forth n
worn red velvet jackct, trimmed with
tarIii-hed braid, and pair of yellow
velvet knee brcechcs, slnshed up the
side. This she supplemented with q
felt hat aud pair Of jack boots armed
with spurs
Ma, be it's bandits suit, after all,
she suggested.
Which Is the Louis Fourteenth end
Of this thing? demanded Mr.. Spoop
endyke. Where dues the Oliver
Cromwell part begin? Show me the
Burns element in this schedule! II
I'm going 10 get into this thing
rhronologienlly, must begin with
the measly king aud wind of with
the dod gasied poet; which is the
king part! and Mr.. Spoopcnhyke
shot out OF his business suit and Dire "
on The velvet trousers. Where's the
rest ofem =? lie dcmanded. surveying
III cxpanse of unclotled limb. This
whole thing is only one ley. Where s
the pair for the other leg? Give me
some more trousers, aud Mr.. Spoop.
endyke scowlcl about him. "
Don'tthe booiss come up to meet
them? asked Mira. Spoopendyke, in
some trcpidstion.
Mr.. SI'oopendyke pulled on tho
boots, but still there WAS an exposed
space ofnearly n fnot.
spose this barelegged arrange
mcnt is the Barns pirt, grinncd Mr.
Spoopendyke. IIewas n Highlander.
aud this m, ch of me il Burns. Show
mo the Cromwell part now. Is lllnl
hat II /? aud Mr.. Spoopcndykc mt on
the hat and brca'hcd hard. Where,
the rosi of me? My head and legs arr
all right; bring out my back aud
| stomach!
Mrs. Spoopendyke handed him The
jacket aud he plunged into it with I
jerk.
That what you wanted ? he howled
touldn't Won make more,n lire,
cn,cbcs ot me2 Didn't M, man Inv,
hut three historical da,esp Iull Tim
Jacket downa couule of centuries
can't he? Don't You see the bottom
dred wears from reaching tho waist
band of the Burns breer6esl / and Mr.
Sooopcndrke ,upycd at Tie abbre, ia
tel coat and suortcd will, wrath
Maybe that was the way IL wa,
wconi 10 90. aryued Mrs Spoopen
dyke. saw
You sawed Off the coat and IN,
pauts. now s'pose ou saw of a ro,
of this hat and patch 'em out again
Wheu did Cro,nw well wear that hat
What kind Of n bet did he win thai
on? Say. where's the scairold ,ha
goes with these mcasly politocisns
Fetch out the hcadsuian! and Mr.
Spoopeudy Ike dauccd into the close
and out again. Where's the lous,
that goes with the Burns part? Brm,
me some Charles |. to hide nv legs
| Praise God from WHOM all blessing
flow, for man was made I . mourn be
cause his head was chopped off
shriekcd Mr.. Spoopendykc, combin
iay the historical i'leas he reprcsen
ted In one yraud veil. Fetch thre
suppers for one doi yastcd old idio
that trusted his wife TO find a suit 70,
him! and MIR. Spoopendyke thrus
his arm to the shoulder through In
coycnsnter's hat and slit the coat o
| tho lamcnted Louis from tail 10 cola
band. Look out for some Scotch ro
nance ! and he ripped Oh the pant
and fired them into the CRATE. Her
comes another page in the annals O
crime and the boots went out tb
window.
Aud we-can't go-go to the-ma
masquerade ut all! sobbcd Mr..
Spoopendyke.
Write an cpitaph on the back of IN
neck, aud III 20 as a tombstone
yawped Mr.. Spoopendyke. Put thre
bells in my side aud stair carpet a
my back, aud IN 90 as a French dat
niecLa r,,a tho h;,.a.l s,,G ,rot m, a al