Weekly graphic. [volume] (Kirksville, Adair Co., Missouri) 1880-1949, 1881-01-14
She WANTED A DIVORCE.

well dressed. had black hair. rather thin
and tinged with gray and eyes in which
cleaned the fires of a determination
not easily baked. She first walked in
20 Major Huse's office, in Patten block;
and requested private interview, and
having obtained and satisfied herself
that the law students were not listen
ing at the keyhole said slowly, solemn
ly and immpresslvely:
Il want a divorce.
What for? supposed y1u had one
of the best of husbands? said the Major.
Il spose that's what everybody
thinks; but if they knew what I've suf-
fered in ten years they'd wonder that |
hadn't scalded him long ago. fought to,
but for the sake of the Young ones We
borne it and said nothing. I've told him
though, what he might depend on, now
the times come. | won't stand 1t,
Young ones or no young ones: | II have
a divorce. and If the neighbors want to
blab themselves hoarsc about it they
can, for won't stand it another day.
But what's the matter? Don't your
husband provide for you? Don't he
treat you kindly pursued the lawyer.
I'VE get yictuals enough and don't
know but he's as true and kind as men
in general. and he's never knocked
none of us down. | wish he had, then
I'd get him into jail and know where
he was of nights retorted the woman.
Then what's your complaint against
him. !.
"Well if you must know, he's one of
them plaguey liners.
"a what?
"A iiner-one of them pesky fools
that's always jining something. There
can't nothing come along that dark
and sly and hidden. but he'll jine it.
If ANYBODY should get up society to
burn his house down, he'd iine tjust
as soon as he could get in: and if he had
to pay for it. he'd 20 all the suddener.
We hadn't been married more II two
months before he jined the Know Moth
ms. We lived on farm then, and
every Saturday night he'd come tearin
in before supper, grab hist full OF
nut cakes and 90 off gnawin EN-
and that's the last Id see Of him till
morning. And every other night he'd
roll and tumble in his bed and boiler
in his sleep: Put none but Americans
on guard-George Washington; and
rainy DAYS he would so out in the corn
barn and jab at picture of the Pope.
with an old bagnet that was there.
onght to put my foot down then, but
he fooled me so with his lies about the
Pope's coming to make all the Yankee
girls marry freshmen and to eat up all
the babies that warnt born with a
cross on their forehead, that ! let him
90 on and encouraged him i'll it.
Then he jined the Masons. P'rapS
you know what them be, but | don't,
'cept they think they are the same kind
of critters that built Solomon Temple,
and of all the darned nonsense and CAB |
about worshipful masters and squar
and compasses and such like that we
had in the house for the next six month
you never see the beat. And he's never
out-growed it nuther. What do you
think of man squire. thatll dress his
self in white apron, bout big enough
for a monkeys bib, and so marching
up and down. and making motions and
talking the foolish lingo at a picture OF
George Washington in a green jacket
and truss on his stomach? Amt he
a loonytickg Well, that's my Sam and
I've stood it as long as I'm goin to.
The next lunge the old fool made
was the Odd Fellows. made it warm
for HIM when he came home and told
me he'd lined them. but he kinder paci-
fed me by telling me they had sort
of branch show that took in women,
and he'd get me in as soon as he found
out how to do it. Well, one night he
came home and said I'd been proposed
and somebody had blackballed me.
Did it hisself, of course. Didn't want
me around knowing to his goings on:
OF course he didn't. and | told him so.
Then he jined the Sons of Matter.
Didn't say nothing to ne about it. but
sneaked off one night, pretendin he'd
got to set up with sick Odd Felldr.
and I'd never found it out, only he came
home lookin' like man that had been
a thrashing machine, and |
wouldn't do thing for him till he
owned up. And so its gone from bad
to wus and from WIS to wuSser, lining |
this and that and the t'other, till he's
Minister of the Masons, and
Goddess of Hope of the Odd Fellows,
and Sword Swallower ofthe Finnegans
and Virgin Cerus of the Grange, and
Grand Mogul of the Sons Of Temper
ance, and Two Edged Tomahawk of the
United Order of Black Men, and Tale.
bearer Of the Merciful Manikins, and
Skipper of the Guild Caratrine Column
bus, and Big Wizard of the Arabian
Ninhts and Pledge Passer of the Re- |