The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1881-08-26
Mourning Usages.

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some ones feelings. The Duke OF
Sutherland's attempt, in England, to do
away with the dreadful shape which
causes shudder to all who have lost .
friend-that of the coffin-was called
irreverent, because he suggested that
the dead should be buried in wicker
work baskets, with fern leaves for
shrouds, so that the poor clay might the
more easily return to mother earth.
Those who favor cremation suffer, again,
o still more frantic disesteem; and yet
every one says, so that we could get
rid of this gloomy coffin, these white,
ghastly cold wrappings, and afterward
of the dismal trappings of woe!"
But we can not. Death is, to the
most Christian and resigned heart. still
a very terrible fact. shock to all who
live; and its Accomplishments, do what
we will, are painful. 81 smell the mold
above the rose," says Hood, in his pa
thetic lines on his daughters death.
Therefore we have difficulty to con-
tend with in the wearing of black which
is of itself, to begin with, an insult to
our professed belief in the resurrection.
We advance the logic of despair when
we drape ourselves in its gloomy folds.
The dress which we should wear, one
would think, might be blue, the color of
the sky, or white, signifying that light
which the redeemed soul has reached.
But custom, which makes slaves of us
all, has decreed that we shall wear black
as token of respect for those we have
lost. and as q shroud for ourselves, pro-
testing against the gentle ministrations
of light and cheerfulness with which our
Lord ever strives to reach us. This is
one side of the question; but again one
word as to its good offices. A mourning
dress does protect the wearer while in
deepest grief from the intrusive gayety
OF a passing stranger-it is a wall, q cell
OF refuge. Behind a black veil poor
broisen-hearted woman can hide herself,
As she goes out for business or recrea-
ton, dreading lest any one shall speak
to her.
But the black veil, again, is most I'M
healthy. 1t harms the eyes, and it in
jures the skin. As it rubs against the
nose and forehead, it is most certain to
abrade the skin, and often makes a pain
full sore. To the eyes, enfeebled by
weeping, it is sure to be dangerous, and
most oculists now forbid it.
The English, from whom we borrow
our fashions, have limitation, provided
by social law, which is a useful thing.
They now decree that Grape shall only
be worn six months, even for the dear
est relative, and that the duration of
mourning shall not exceed year. A
wife's mourning for her husband is the
most conventionally deep mourning al
lowed, and every one who has seen an
English widow will allow that she has
made hearse of herself. Bombazine
and Grape, Widows cap, and a long
thick veil-such is the modern English
idea. Some widows even have the cap
made of black crepe isse, but it is gen.
orally of white. In this country a
widows first mourning dresses are COW
cred almost entirely with Grape, a most
costly and disagreeable material, easily
ruined by the dampness and the dust-a
sort of penance and modification dress,
very ugly and very expensive. There
are now, however, other and more agree
able fabrics which also bear the dead
black, lusterless look which is alone
considered respectful to the dead, which
are not so costly or 80 disagreeable to
wear as Grape. The Henrietta cloth and
imperial serges are chosen for heavy
winter dresses, while for those of less
weight are tamise cloth, Bayonnaise,
grenadine, nuns yelling and the Ameri-
can silk.
Nor can we criticise the grief which
causes mother to wear mourning for
her children. If it is any comfort for
her to wrap herself in Grape, she should
do SO. The world has nothing to say to
those who prefer to put ashes on their
heads.
But for the mockery of woe, for the
conventional absurdities and affectations
which so readily lend themselves to
caricature in the name of mourning, no
condemnation can be too strong. There
is ghoul-like ghastliness in talking of
ornamental" or complimentary" or
:'becoming" mourning. What connec-
ton is there between that decaying form
in the earth and the luxurious jet-em-
broidered dress?
People of sense of course manage to
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spect and regret, without indulging in
either extreme. We see many pale.
faced mourner whose quiet black
mourning dress tells the story of loss
without giving us the painful feeling
that Grape is too thick or bombazine too
heavy for comfort. Excess is to be
deprecated in mourning as in every
thing.
And in removing the mourning dress,
it should be done by gradations. 1t
shocks persons of good taste to see
light-hearted young widow jump into
cOlors as if she had been counting the
hours. If black is proper, let its retire
ment be slowly and gracefully shaded
off with quie: grays and puppies, as the
feeling of grief, yielding to the kindly
influence Of time, is shaded off into a
tempered joy, i kindly resignation. We
do not forget our dead, but we mourn
for them with feeling in which anguish
has no longer SO bitter part.
In this country no person in mourn
ing for a parent, child, brother, or hus.
band is expected to be seen at concert,
dinner, party, or any other place of
nuhlic amusement for three months