The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1881-09-20
Backwocds Criticism.

w ~ NfiohBNA6 llOll NNiNCh OOuhAJ1
i who were in Milwaukee with some
hogs, and who were stopping at the
Stock Yard hotel, went to see Ham,
let' at the Opera House. They set on q
front seat, and the audience noticed all
through the play that they were not
pleased, and when they got into horse
car after the performance, those in the
car got pretty good idea of what the
trouble was.
"Well, Lige, how did It strike you ?"
said the sandy-whiskered one, as he bit
off piece of navy plug and handed the
plug back to his friend.
"Oh, 1t didn't strike. All L want is
to live to get back TO the tavern and
find that red-headed hotel keeper that
told me " Hamletn was burlesque OPP
era with can. can girls. Call that place
of amusementY suppose a place of
amusement is where q man goes to
laugh. don't want nobody to charge
me dollar to see funeral procession
and listen to fellow dig a grave and
sing obscene songs. l tell you, Ezra, it
looks wrong to see skulls thrown around
on the stage. And as for dggin' graves,
there is a man in Monroe that can dig
two graves to that fellew's one. l tell
you it just made me sick to see that
poor crazy girl, Ofeely, taking on about
her father Gimlet killed with scythe,
and when them boys up in the loft be-
gun to cheer her 1 felt like going and
kicking them all down stairs, and then
saying my prayers. Any man that will
make fun of crazy girl amt fit to live.
tell you l felt so bad for that girl was
cussed glad when the hired girl come in
and said she was drownded."
Hamlet was bully, thought" said
Ezra. " He could talk 'em all blind, and
knew more than the whole lot. Lige,
do you think he was crazy 2"
Crazy, no. He was blasted fool.
Say, Ezra, have little sense now. Sup
pose your father was dead and your
mother married that fellow that looked
like a saloon. keeper and some ghost
should come bowling around you, with
Bohbo hiONS vi biLi iOlAt ~ lhOGIuAlO Dcl
blanket, on, and tin wash, ,basin on his
head, and point at you with tin din
ner-horn, and tell you that the saloon.
keeper caught your father asleep out in
the sugar bush and poured peppersauce
in'his ear and killed him, and told you
to go around gnashing your teeth for
revenge, and snatching your mother
bald-headed, wouldn't you think it was
a put up job, and they playing you for
sardinep OF course you would, and you
would belt him one in the jaw, and tell
the ghost to go and soak his head
Now wouldn't you ?"
Well, may be, Lige; but Hamlet
played his part well, didn't he ?"
Certainly. The young man did
splendidly, considering the play he had,
but l know school teachers in Green
county that can write better play than
that during recess. Hamlet was no gen.
tleman to treat that girl the way he did
He loved her, and she loved him, and
then he went back on her, and jabbed
her father, and set her crazy, and when
he happened to stumble into her funeral
in the grave yard he wanted to get up
crying match with the girls brother,
and jumped into the grave on the coffin,
and act up and put on stile, and break
up the funeral. Oh, get out. don't
like that way of doing business. A man
that hain't got more sand than that
couldn't get a job driving hogs for me.
What he ought to have done was to
marry the girl, and any court in Wis.,
consin would have made him marry her
or pay a fine. For funeral obsequies,
" Hamlet" is good, but give me Buffalo
Bill. We get off here, Ez. Watch me
kill that landlord when we get to the
house. Egad, 1 can't help thinking
how confounded mean that Hamlet
treated his mother. Why, she had
right to get married again"