The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1881-04-14
QartetU.
VARIETY SCRAPS.

Horace Greely said that man who paid more |
for store rent than he did for advertising, was |
fool.
Cleveland young women. write comments on |
the library novels read. One emotional creature |
writes The pangs Of love are great; have been
there myselir
Come rlghtinto the house, children shouted
Mrs, Shuttle, you are making more noise than the
present session Of Congress. What do you suppose
the nelghboTs will think2
II is all very well to talk POLITICALLY about the
slender thread Of fate, but the ugly truth Is that
mans fate generally depends on the number Of
hours Of honest work he puts into every day.
The editor OF the Leeds Mercury, an influential
Liberal paper, has been knighted. How impos.
ing 1t will be to hear the printers devil come In
and say, Sir Emery 'Amilton, We wants more
eopyp
The Philadelphia Board OF Health Is divided as
to whether the scent OF boiled cabbage Is sooth.
ing to the nerves Of an invalid. What Is the use
Of such Boards II they can't determine these
thlngsi
An exchange has been lookinglup the millinery
business, anc finds that thirty cents worth Of vel.
vet, three cents worth Of wire and forty cents
worth OF feathers can be stirred up and sold for
s25.
OUR PREACHER MAKES PASTORAL CALL.
The preacher knew, I've not the slightest doubt
When calling on my young and pretty wife,
That was not at home, but had gone out,
But returned, snd never in my life
Beheld a sight which caused me more surprise
| thav aanh dis1iked tho ntbar anita
And really could scarce believe my sight,
The preacher had an arm about her, tight,
Her head upon the preachers shoulder lay,
One arm around the preachers neck was
wound,
And while they stood there in that loving way;
Their lips met; yes, they kissed; heard the
sound.
Why did not rush In and the preacher kill2
Was not wild with raee' Oh, not all.
They threatened to repent 1t. Hope they will.
Our preacher is woman-that Is all.
BOstOn Post.
A lady who aims at being the best dressed wo.
man in Philadelphia appeared lately in dress
Of white embroidered velvet, covered with crys
tai trimming and pearl fringe. 1t was so heavy
that she could hardly wsddle about, but as 1t was
the dress Of the evening she went home happy.
I threw this OFF In ten minutes softly said the
poet, placing manuscript on the editorial table,
The editor said that when 1t came to speed no
long.hsired poet should distance him, and he
threw 1t off In less than ten seconds-of the table
into the wsset basket,
A young lady slipped on the Ice and lay there,
recklessy waiting to be rescued. clerk In a
hosiery store who was standing near the scene Of
the disaster, viewing the spectacle with profess
! sional curiOusily moment or two, and then ex'
claimed: Pretty, very pretty, but they only cost
thirty cents a pairp
A fashionable young man thinks he Is great as
an elocUtionist. His strong card Is reading the
ghost scene in Shakespeare. After hearing him
i, recte, an elderly gentleman was asked what he
j thought OF him. Well, think he ought to have
: given up the ghost long ago.
Incorporating "The Doctors Daughter-'I
declare, you're dreadful fanatic, Mrs. McCiz
d zom. do believe you think nobody will be say
I, Z ed but you and your minister Old Lady-'AWeel
my dear, ahl whiles hae ma doots aboot tht
meenister
Charles DaEling:'--'We have received you
poem entitled, When the Bluebirds swet tly Sing
and will save ituntil the bluebirds get here, w
are always obliged to carry over lot Of bluebirt
7 and robin and daisy poetry, but 1t comes hand,
In the spring when the windows need cleaning
They are rough on poets In Chicago, sI witness
Y eth the following. ..
T Three poets came sailing down Dearborn street,
\ All into the south as the sun went down;
Each felt that the editor loved him the best,
And would say that his slush was the best in towr
For poets must write tho editors frown
The no.acCount cusses will not be put down
While their gentle muse is booming.
Three corpses lay up in the editors room
Just after the first spring sun went down.
And the press sat down to banquet grand
> In honor Of the poets no more in town,
For poets will write while editors sleep,
Tho they've nothing to earn and no one to keel
And the editors club keeps moving.
Bob Burdette, Of the Burlington Hdwkeve, WI
r showed up in the interior the other day. and tel
- graphed the town where he was TO lecture not
begin until he got there, as he wanted to hear II
N whole OF the lecture. Arriving about $3.50 P. N.
found the audience singing college songs al
Is, waiting patiently. AS he walked in, the audent
" arose and struck up we wont go home till NOR
70 ing To this he responded that II he had know
that he wouldn't have been in such hurry.
IL