davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1881-02-03
An Item for Young Girls.

There is a multitude of young girls
in the country and small towns who are
anxious to enter what, they think, the
paradice of New York life, and suppose
they will be all right if they can manage
to secure place there as copyist or
book-keeper. To such, Shirley Dare ad-
dresses these wise words: ''Do they
know what copying and bookkeeping
means in town? They fancy book
keeper is young person in tasteful dress,
wearing lawn cuffs, and having early
hours with easy work on a salary of
perhaps 5000 or $1,000 year. The
average pay of good women book-keepers
in New York is So week, and not over
$12 for the best, unless by favor, which
implies no improvement to girls repu-
tation. A book-keeper can board for 81
week, her washing cost 80 cents, and
car fare from so to 70 cents more, and
she works in dimly lighted Office, with
gas burning half the time over her page
till the bloom dies from her cheek and
from her spirits"
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1881-02-03
A Lively Subject.

There used to be story current of
perplexing incident in the life of John
Hunter, the celebrated surgeon, which
has a certain grim drollery about it.
One night, on receiving from Jack Ketch
a "subject" who had been hanged that
morning at Newgate-such hangings
and such subjects were very common in
those days-he perceived somehow or
other the vital spark was not quite ex-
tinct. His professional zeal was in
stantly aroused he applied all his skill
to the task, and, in short, succeeded, to
his scientific satisfaction, in restoring
the laws victim to his entire faculties
again. But his satisfaction was some
what short-ived, for the resuscitated
felon insisted upon looking to his bene-
factor for his future subsistence. He
argued that, as he had striven to bring
him, as it we're, second time into the
world, he must be regarded in loco
PARENTS. Hunter, always a nervous
man, and by no means convinced that
he had not offended grievously against
the laws in bis little experiment, had no
alternative but to comply to the demands
of his ungrateful patient. who was by
no mears modest in bis visits. After a
time, however, they ceased; but even
that brought no comfort to poor Hun
ter, who lived in perpetual terror of his
tormentor Unexpectedly popping upon
him. At last he reappeared before him
again. One fine evening another New
gate importation was brought to the
private door of the dissecting- room, and,
to his intense satisfaction, he once more
recognized the well-remembered feat
ures. Hunter used to say, with grim
smile, that he took speedy care mot to
give him a second chance.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1881-02-03
Cooking in (yOurt.

The proceedings at the Brighton
County Court, in England, were diversi-
fed one day by an unusual incident,
namely, the cooking of some potatoes in
court by direction of the Judge. A
wholesale-potato merchant was sued for
the recovery of money which he had
been paid for potatoes which were al
legged to be of different kind from
those ordered. The Judge, after ex-
amining some of both samples as well
as of the potatoes supplied, felt that in
order to enable him to give a correct
Judgment in the matter it would be nee
essary to cook specimens of each. This
was accordingly done, while other cases
were being heard. The cooked potatoes
were then produced in court and eaten,
the result being that the Judge was sat-
isfed as to the quality Of the condemned
potatoes, but not SO satisfied as to the
skill of the plaintiff in the art of cook
ing. The verdict was accordingly given
for the defendant.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1881-02-03
A Big Bender.

Several casks of native wine had been
placed outside of the house and facing
the barn-yard on ranch near San Fran
cisco. Some of the hogs in rubbing
against one of the casks knocked out the
spigot and caused the contents to run
out. The wine formed pool in de-
preston in the ground, and around it all
the hogs, little and big, about the prem
ises, to the number of about thirty, con-
gregated and drank their fill, and before
any person about the place was aware as
to what had happened, all the porkers
were drunk, and going through the
queerest antics imaginable. Some were
frisky and full of play, others belligerent
and staggering around hunting up
fights; some maundering around in an
imbecile way. walking in cork-screw
style, and stumbling over the least OBJ
struction that lay in their path, while
several of the larger hogs, that had man
aged to get on the heaviest loads, were
drunk and incapable of motion. Those
who saw this queer performance say
that it was the most apt illustration of
the saying "drunk as hog" that they
ever witnessed, while the inebriates
acted wonderfully like humans in sim
liar state of debauch. The hogs were
all "blind drunk" before they could
drink up all the wine, and the balance
OF the grape juice was turned into tenn
perance beverage by turning O stream of
water on it. The hogs were all blear-
eyed and stupid the next day, and from
their actions seemed to say that their
chair pulled dreadfullv"
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1881-02-03
The Gar Nicholas.

E. G. Greenville Murray has lately
contributed to the Swiss Times some en-
tirely personal "reminiscences of the Gar
Nicholas. Of his mental habits and tenn
permanent he says: "He was a man of
hasty temper, but very full of generous
impulses. Having on some occasions
used harsh language to one of his Colon
els, and learning that the officer had
taken the rebuke to heart, the Gar or
dered review, and publicly embraced
him at the head of his regiment. A kind
man, too, who could unbend at times.
One 1st of April, lady who told me the
story herself, was surprised by her ser
want abruptly announcing the Gar. 1t
was SO early in the morning that she
thought it was some joke of her sisters
in connection with the day, so she went
on slipping her tea. Presently she looked
up again, however, and saw the servant
standing aghast near the door, which
was still wide open, and behind it in cas-
que and plume was the stately figure of
the Emperor. He had come to bring
her good news of her son, who was
abroad, and had been ILL., He was not
tolerant, however, of intentional disre-
spect, and had but modified apprecia-
ton of joke A General, who was
Policemaster at st. Petersburg for a short
ii ne. found this out to his cost. The
leral was considered very stupid
nan, and was the Cars favorite butt, so
his Maj ,sty was pleased one night at a
court ball to send him off in search of q
thief who had stolen a colossal statue of
Peter the Great The Policemaster,
finding this statue in it's usual place, as
any one else would have expected, fetl
mortified at the laugh raised against him,
and determined to be revenged in his
own way Shortly afterward, therefore,
he announced to his Imperial master,
while at the theatre, that the Winter
Palace was on fire. The Gar rose has
tily to witness the confagration, and on
finding that the Policemaster had pre-
sumed to retaliate on his august self,
sent him to reflect on his indiscretion in
Siberia. Finally, he was not faithful
husband, but he was fond of his wife and
very jealous. Her Majesty was quite
aware of this, and, unfortunately, very
mischievous. Whenever, therefore. she
wished to get rid Of an officer that dis
| pleased her, she commanded him to
dance with her, and so sure as he did SC
he was sent to the Caucasus. The Czar's
personal habits were soldierly and sim.
pie. He ate and drank with extreme
moderation, and he slept in his uniform
on tent bed in his study, with only q
military cloak to cover him. He allowed
his son, the present Emperor, 940, 900 6
month while travelling abroad; the EN-.
press spent money SO lavishly that her
expenses for one night that she halted al
Hanover exceeded 900. He gave,
too, largely, but his personal wants must
| have cost little indeed
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1881-02-03

CINCINNATI-FLo Family, $4 55o4 IS;
spring family, s5a5 60; choice Minnesota, IS IS.
per brl, and s. 25@2 rs per 100 lbs. GRAM
wheat-Choiee red, 81 o5, and No. do. 81 o.; No.
H1ac.; No. yellew, shelled, 4i1ac and No. Z
white, do 44c. good prime mi ed ear 44a94ac on
track. oatSNo; white, sshe.; No. mixed.
mon, 81 25ai S.; fair to choice light, 81 soaS Is;
per e sle IasdPn@e s ses ssoc ss, lettis
s65@s.75c. sugar-cured hams, 954@1o1ae. Sugar
@IelI9S refined 754@sse; Mhite' "a" shs
NEW YORK.--Flour- Good to choice Western
and State, 81 6016 IS; Ohio extra family, 81 419
IS. rain-Wheat.Uneraded spring, 81 Os; un-
sii5; s No. T winter red, 81 24@i 245s. corn"Wn. %
graded, 54a56c. Oats-M,xed Western, 42@4s19c. ;
White, 4s@4ze Mess pork Sis 75@i4 Lard, 9S21l
PHILADELPHIA - Flour Minnesota extra
family, $685. Ohio extra family, s5 s71a@6 Wheat
No O. winter red 81 ls Corn yellow Western
Pork-New, si4 75@15. Lard-Prime steam, s.759
9.SOc.
BALTIMORE-Flo Western family. s5a6.
Corn-we.tern mixed, 5s2sa5a1ac. Oats While
Western, 43 44c; mixed 42@43c. Rye-Prime.
81 O1@1 O8. Mess pork, $l3@l8 %. Lard, 994c.
ST. LOUIS. S.--Wheat-No. 2 fall, 81 0214dpi 02I5.
Corn, 4laSa4112c Oats, 33c. Rye, SIC. Barley :
Choice to fancy, SOC. @s. Mess pork sl3 65. Lard,
9.25c.
LOUISVILLE Cotton dun at 1lIsc. Flour =
Extra family, So 1904 %; A No l, S5M5 % Wheat
95c. @Sl. Corn-No. white, 4lc.; No. 2 mixed,
42l2c. Oats--No. white, 37tatG39c. No mixed,
SIC. Rye-No. 2, 9sc dSl. Mess pork, Si4 so. Lard,
91ac Live hogs, 81 90a6.
INDIANAPOLIS. -wheat-No. 2 new red, 81.
Corn, 3sc. Oats-New WHITE 33@e35c.
LIVE STOCK.
CINCINNATI -BEEF CATTLE Common, 50 80
"a; common to fair shippers 81 so@4 50; good TO
choice heiers, 81 1901 65; light stockers 81 SOC
Q 80. HoGs-Fair to good packers, s. 20@5 80;
common, 81 1894 IS; stock hogs, IS 1894 Is. SHEEP
Common, 3@4Ac.; stock sheep. 31a841ac.
NEW YORK.-Cattle-- Fat steers, 1054a11 nc.
Sheep-Poor to prime, 81 50S6 IS per 100 lbs Lambs
Choice, s. 75e7 %. Hogs-Fair to good live hogs,
s5 eos6; city dressed, ss s5e7 1211.
ST. LOUIS Cattle - Choice native shipping
steers, SIS 25a5 rs per 100 lbs stockers, &3gS So
Hogs-Yorkers and Bsltimores, &595 IS; heavy
shipping grades, IS io@5 80. sheep-Fancy, 81 76@
3 40.
Hogs-The market is excited
ct IS 25ob 20 per 100 lbs
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1881-02-03
Ornamenting q Dog.

Once man had dog which dident
have no tail, the dog dident, cos it was
cut off wen it was little, but Frankly,
that's the baby, he is little, too, yes in
deed, like puppies. So the mans dog
erode up without no tail for to waggle,
but one night sum notify boys they got
peece of old rope out of a ship yard, and
sum pitch, and fastened the rope onto
the end of the dogs back with the pitch
like it erode there. Then that dog was
prowd like he was new dog on old
tail, an he went swellin around a mung
the other dogs, tryin for to waggle It
til he most broke his back But he cud-
ent lift it of the ground, and after vile
it was drug acros a cigar wich a feller
had threw away, an it got lite, the tail
did, and had smoke its own self. Then
the dog it lied down like it was q goin to
sleep, and it said to the other dogs:
''There wasent never any pup wich cude
be so cool and callum like me vile his
tlil was house afire. L OF to be hired
out to teech fortitude to Cristion marters.
just wake me up wen its ol burt of, cos
have got important engagement"
But when it was ol of, and the fire was
got hold of the cake of pitch onto the
end of his back, he dident have to be
woke up, cos he woke the hwole town up
hisseH.-LittLe Johnny.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1881-02-03

THE Rt. Rev. Bishop Gilmour, Cleve-
land, Ohio;-Chas. s. Strickland, Esq,
9 Boylston street, Boston, Mass. Capt.
Paul Boyton, the World Renowned Swim
mer;-Prof. G. o. Duplessis, Manager
Chicago Gymnasium, Chicago, Ill.,
VIM. II. Wareing, Esq, Assistant Gen1
Snp't, New York Postoffice;- Hon. Thos.
L. James, Postmaster, New York;
Stacey Hill, Esq, Mt. Auburn Incline
Plane Railroad, Cincinnati, Ohio, are
among the myriads who have ex-
perienced the beneficial effects Of
that most remarkable remedy, st. Jacobs
Oil, and who have testified to its efficacy
in unqualified terms. COM
naerciaL Gazette.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1881-02-03

Close careful to all factory work,
gives the operatives pad faces poor appetite langud,
miserable feelings, poor blood. inactive liver, kidneys
in the world not help them unless they out doors
Hop Bters made Of the purest and best remedies
and especially for such having abundance of hsah
sunshine and cheeks in them. None need suffer
they will use them freely. They cost but trifs See
another column.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1881-02-03
His Revenge.

A young lady who mad been engaged
to fine young man for some time, met
q richer person, and soon put off the old
love for the new. She wrote to her old
lover requesting him to return her photo
graph. Here was chance for revenge,
which he took by sending her the follow
ing note:
81 would gladly comply with your re-
quest, but if do it will spoil my euchre
deck. l have a collection of photographs
which l use for playing cards, and I do
not want to break it by giving away the
queen of diamonds"
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1881-02-03
An Old Prophecy.

In 1712, Mr.. Winston, an eccentric
Millenarian divine and astronomer, who
served as deputy to Sir Isaac Newton,
when Professor of Mathematics at Cam
bridge, predicted that comet would
appear at noon on Wednesday, Oct. Ia,
and that the world would be destroyed
by fire on the following Friday. The
comet came, and had an extraordinary
effect. More than 100 clergymen were
reported to have waited on the primate
on the Wednesday afternoon to request
that proper prayers might be prepared,
while thousands of men, who believed
that the end of the world was coming,
married on the Thursday the women
with whom they had been living. Many
people embarked on the water, thinking
that they would be safer when the fire
came, and Sir Gilbert Heathcote, Chief
Director of the Bank of England, issued
instructions to the fire officers to keep a
sharp lookout on the Bank of England,
on which there was a prodigious run,
presumably by those who thought that,
albeit they brought nothing into the
world, they might be able to take some
thing out. The Captain of Dutch ship
in the Thames threw all his powder into
the river. Winston is only remembered
now by his translation of Josephus.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1881-02-03
Shakespeare and the Bible.

There is way that seemeth right to
man, but the end thereof are the ways
of death.-Prov. rvi., 25.
There is no vice so simple but assumes
Some mask of virtue in its outer parts
Merchant of Venice, iii, 2
How can We, being evil, speak good
things. (Seeming virtues proceeding
from an evil source are not genuine).-
Mat. 1ii., "a.
Where an unclean mind carries virtu-
GUS qualities, their commentators go
with pity-they are virtues and traitors,
too.-AWs Well That Ends Well, l., l.
Another law in my members warning
against the law of my mind.-Rona.
eli, %.
The tiend is at mine elbow and tempts
me, saying: "Use your legs; take the
start run away" My conscience says
"No; do not run !; scorn running with
thy heels" "Budge," says the fiend.
/ Bulge not" says my conscience
Merchant of Venice, H., 2.
He that increaseth knowledge, in
creaseth sorrow.-Ecclesiast L., 18.
L had rather have fool to make me
merry, than experience to make me sad.
As You Like 1t, TO-, l.
I, yet not I.-Gal. H., %.
1 have kind of self resides with you,
But an unkind self, that itself will leave
To be another's fool.
-TToiL and Cress, ill, 2.
But whosoever shall keep the whole
law and yet offend in one point, he is
guilty of all.-Jamaes H., 10.
That these men
Carving the stamp, 1 say, of one defect,
| Shall, in the general censure, take corruption
I From that particular fault. The dram of Ill
Doth all the noble substance often doubt.
Hamlet L., 4.
Whosoever hateth his brother is q
murderer. ill.,, 5.
Hates any man the thing he would not
kill ?-Merchant of Venice. ~.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1881-02-03

A LAD in Georgia was arrested as a
suspected murderer, and to escape the
gaHows established an alibi by pro-
ducing the watch which he had stolen at
certain time and place. That brought
him in unpleasant proximity to the
penitentiary, and to dodge that issue he
proved that he had escaped from the
lunatic asylum, and was returned to his
old quarters.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1881-02-03

deacon Wilder, want you TO tell me how you kent
yourself and family well the past season. when the
rest Of have been sick much had the doc
tors running to long,"
aBIo TAYLOR, the answer is very easy. used Hop
doctor bills. Three dollars worth kept all el
and able 10 work all the time and will II
cost and most Of the neighhors hundred
dollars piece TO keep sick the guese you'll
take my medicine hersafteI." See other column.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1881-02-03

Our representative lately learned the
following from Mr.. Carl Siegmund, cor
ner Congress and Washington Streets:
My daughter suffered from Rheumatism
to such an extent that it crippled her,
rendering her unable to walk at all. We
consulted many physicians and used all
kinds of medicines, but in vain. At last
ST. Jacobs Oil effected the happiest re-
suits. 1t cured my daughter Ypsi-
ldnti (Nfich.) Commercial.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1881-02-03

Such expressions are very common among
those afflicted with Cough or Cold. They
have called on the doctor and he has prescribed.
They have used nearly everything which has
been recommended, but are no better. Hope
abandons them and they look with distrust
remedy advertised in this paper which pos
sesses true merit. Aliens Lung Balsam will
cure your Cold or Cough. Try it, and you will
receive new hope and a perfect cure. 1t is
pleasant to take and perfectly harmless. The
city druggists all sell it.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1881-02-03

In India men are grandfathers at the
age of thirty nine, while in Central
America they are often SO doubly blessed
at twenty-eight.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1881-02-03

LIFE is short at most and our duty is to pro-
long it. Use, therefore, DR.. Bulls Cough Syr-
up for Coughs, Colds. Bronchitis, Hoarseness,
etc. Sold everywhere. Price only rs cents.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1881-02-03

THERE is nothing marvellous about
curing by the laying on of hands Hands
laid on smartly and vigorously have
cured many small boys OF sadness.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1881-02-03

from running brook slew the giant Goliath,
and millions of noble men since that time have
died from q single stone in the bladder, which
Warmers Safe Kidney and Liver Cure would
have dissolved and carried away.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1881-02-03

IT is said that none but the importers
and breeders have made anything out Of
Angora goats in this country.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1881-02-03

INDIGESTION, DYSPEPSIA, nervous prostration
and all forms of general debility relieved by
taking MENsMAN's PEPToNIzED BEEF Tonic,
the only preparation OF beef containing its en-
making, force-generating and lfe-sustaining
properties is invaluable in all enfeebled condi-
tions, whether the result. Of exhaustion, nerv-
GUS prostration, over-work, acute disease,
plants. Caswell, Hazard d Co., proprietors,
New York.
The sales Of the Frazer axle grease are in
creasing every day, because it is as good as rep
resented.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1881-02-03

They say that love will go where it is
sent. And it appears always to be sent
after the homely girl with the rich old
daddy. Why is this thuswise
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1881-02-03

itching pae.u Address, with stamp, DR.. Mo.rs, Aid.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1881-02-03

After breakfast they repaired to the
library and sat down to the table to study
over the letter and see if it contained
more than at first appeared. More than
an hour was spent before anything was
found, when Nellie suddenly said:
"I have it; read the first letter of each
line: Find my money in the caves. !"
"Sure enough" said Charles, "but
there are no caves on this island that
know of, and have searched it pretty
thoroughly"
"There must be, for I know Uncle
Eben had lots of money, and no one
knew what he did with it. His son only
had about 800, 900, and he was said to
be worth five times that amount"
"Well, perhaps there is something
more in the paper" said Charles. "Let's
try the last letter of each line, and see if
there is anything in that" SO they
again took the paper and read: AT same
time your husband
Then they stopped and had a hearty
laugh over the matter. The island had
certainly been the means of their mar
riage, and if it was true in this respect,
it..might be in the other.
The rain ceased to fall toward night,
ana Oharles was so Impatient TO hunt for
the cave that, in spite of the high winds,
he ascended the bluff and began to
search for some signs of the cave. He
found nothing there, however, and re-
turned to the house to get warm and to
think the matter over little. After
half an hour he started out again. This
time he started for the base of the bluff.
Arriving there he began a systematic
search, pulling away the bushes and
moving such flat stones as seemed to
cover anything that looked like an open
ing. He finely came to large one, and
weighing perhaps half ton, which
seemed to move as he jumped upon it.
Looking carefully about he found it was
nicely balanced on another rock below,
and he thought il would not be much
work TO roll it off, if he had lever.
Remembering . large stick he had seen
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1881-02-03

Prepared only by PONDS EXTRACT co,
NEW YORK and LONDON.
For sale by all Druggists and Fancy Goods Dealers.
Orders for q WORTH carriage free, receipt Of - 2
Orders for Is WORTH carriage free receipt OF S. sd-
dressed to Is Murray Street, New York.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1881-02-03

The deed was very strong, making il
clearly understood that the island and
everything contained thereon was made
over TO Miss Nellie Armstrong, and also
stating that the letter describing the
property must be given il it was sold or
transferred.
Mr.. Armstrong asked Wilson what he
thought the island was worth.
"I do not know, but would give a
thousand dollars for it," said Wilson.
THAT seems pretty good price for
what we have always considered worth
less piece OF property, I am free to con-
fess," said Mr.. Armstrong, looking at
Nellie.
Yes, sir; don't think the island can
possibly be worth that" said she.