Centre Democrat. [volume] (Bellefonte, Pa.) 1848-1989, 1881-01-13
HUMOROUS.

Trickctt says Hanlan is a bad eRe--
because he can't be beat.-7oronss
Grip.
a man never knows the exact length
OF his thumb until he jambs the end of
t.-MeTt1ien Reoorder.
When man says he is armed 10 the
teeth 1t is "A sign that he has been gettin
"A new plste put in - Net0 FORK Coumey-
ctal.
This is AN off year" as the barber
said when his razor slipped and took o n
customers auricular appendage.-Reo-
kuk cute City.
Tie ffErt q Eow York intend giyin
Sarah Bernhard reception because of
her appearance in French roles.-BalG-
more EDery Saturday.
Pawnbrokers may be hard-hearted
set, but it must be admitted that there
IS one redceming feature in their busi-
ness YOnbCys SldteD1dn.
a returned Black Hills miner assures
US that Buffalo Bill has secured the
prairies 30 much that they are shiney
like glass bottle R0ckJa,4d Courier.
" How slim l. Sarah BcrnhArdt, pa,
That shadow OF a shaded"
Ny boy, she's just about as thin
A. picnic lemonade"
Cincinnati Say
This world is all a neeting show"
but it takes mighty lively work for SOME
Of Us TO keep a grip on our tickets oil ad.
mission, however poor the show is
Boston GJoLe.
The first duty OF sailor is 20 learn
all the ropes. II is fl remarkable fact
that many Of the ropes have 10 be taut,
also, before they can be Of service
YdDcOb Strauss
Now, 10y Jove. we've got it, We're
going 10 reform this thcater nuisance.
Announcement A big hat makes q wo-
man .ook twenty years oder than she
/ There l--Bot0u Post
A Boston artist claims TO have painted
an orange peel on the sidewalk so
naturally that six fat men slipped up on
/ it before The deception was discovered
Hartford Ecentng Port.
"A man never realizes" remarks q
! commercial Traveller. how plentiful
mustard is, and Low scarce is bread and
butter until be tackles arailway refresh
I mcnt- saloon sand dwich.'
/ A man says 2 great many things which
would not look wei in print, when he
/ addresses few cogcnt remarks TO the
F party who leaves the door open at this
/ season Of The ycar.-stcdcaUI'c Herald.
/ Science IL "A grand thing to study. but
when a man sets down in washtub
and expekts TO lift himself up by the han
/ dc. hc haz undorjekcn a konirakt that
science kan, help him fill-Josh BllingS.
/ Physicians are unanimous in dis
couraging the practice of sitting on the
. pavement more than two seconds at
+ time. Tho harder the fall the shorter
/ should be the sicsta -RochcFier Demo
/ crdt.
Contcnimcnt Is ever so much better
/ than riches; but somehow the stupid
world never falls down and wurships
/ the contcnted man. nor do mammas with
marriagcablo daughters run after him.
/ RoGpulc.
The wool clip Of the world in 1878 WAS
nearly five times az great as in 1880.
| The fact is not offered in proof that
BARRIERS were that much better patron
lied in the latter year.-Fond du Lac Re
I porter.
We'll, have done a good deed to-
day, said Ellington. What's ihatp"
asked his friend. Il have given a poor,
deserving man an overcoat," replied
/ Ellington, turning about; "how does ii
l fitF'-B Boston Journal.
I Alcohol is recommended for cleaning
silver. Itcleans bank notes equally as
well-in faci, any kind Of money ii
clesns with n surprising alacrity. For
safe by all druggists everywhere
Danioisonv.le Sentiaol.
lie called in at the back office and
led 10 sell the foreman . bottle of bis
wonderful lightning ersdicaior, but the
oreman told him he didn't have any
lightning that he wanted eradicated, and
sadly he passed out the door Rockla'sd
Courier.
A Mr.. Hutchins, who was sent to