The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1881-01-22
WHOLE No. 1889
or English and Arthur l understand

| FOR English and Arthur. 1 unuersta.la
it perfectly now. But
"Oh, yes; you understand it, don't
ye?" yelped Mr.. Spoopendyke. "You
are the politician of seven ages. All you
need is a registration book and brass
band to be whole political campaign.
tell We Hancock is running for Presi-
dent and SO is Garfield, and Arthur and
English are running for Nice-President.
Can you understand that?'
yes, l do; but do you think Arthur
and English will get it? read in ONE
Get it? They both can't get it.-Only
one of 'em can get itn' exclaimed Nj.
| Spoopendyke. suppressing his passion.
What do you think the Vice Presidency
is-a pair of pigeon-holes? One of 'em
will be President and the other Vice
President. Now, can you bore that
through your skull and remember it?"
why, of course; but feel sorry for
poor Mr.. Garfield and poor Mr.. Hancock.
| They'll be awful disappointed, but Of
course We can't help it. Which will be
| President, do you think, Mr.. Arthur OF
| Mr.. Eng
dot CAST it," raved Spoopendyke.
you don't know enough to go to sleep
when you're tired. Don't tell you Gar
field or Hancock will be President, and
English or Arthur Vice President? Say
it over until you can remember it. The
| i,Lo lieh
Garfield and Arthur. Comprehend
thate''
why, certainly; I saw those names
| on the banners. l remember it now
| Which will be elected?'
THAT'S the question" reioined Mr..
Spoopendyke, sarcastically. 'lf Mr. Eng
fish can carry his own State and Ohio no
will be elected, but if Mr.. Garfield car
carry his own State and Indiana he has
an excellent show"
"What will Mr.. Hancock and Mr..
Arthur carry?" asked Mrs. Spoopendyke
with an air of absorbing interest.
Carry howled Mr.. Spoopendyke;
they'll carry swill to the pigs. and that's
more'n you know how to do. What dye
spose they'll carry?'
Il suppose Mr.. Arthur will carry Mr..
English's State, won't he, and his own?
And Mr.. Hancock will carry Mr.. Gar
| fields State and Governors Ireland
Amt that where he lives? l don't see
| what they want of each others States.
They ought
"Oh! you've got it, shrieked Mr..
| Spoopendyke. You've got it boiled
down. You only need heavy rain anu
the side door of bar room to be an
election day. What you want is a lot Of
blots and your name spelled wrong to be
i poll list. Don't tell we that two Of
EN- are running against the other two,
and the two that get the most States will
be electedo And if man can't carry his
own State he's liable to be licked. Can't
We understand that?'
81 see; l see," said Mrs. Spoopendyke.
Its as plain as day now. But suppose
they all carry their own States, won't it
be funny?''
"IIe, he, he," giggled Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke, with horrible srmaces. It'll be
the funniest thing ever known. If they
do that, you must dramatiZe it. It'll
beat nine circusses in row. How's each
going TO carry his own State? Think he's
going to turn it up on one end and roll it
like a hoop
Il don't know said Mrs. Spoopeu-
dyke, rejecting. Il don't exactly un-
derstand how they do it, but they ought
to know what they are going to do before
they accept the convention. read"
"Who cares dog gasted cent what We
redo" pealed forth Mr.. Spoopendyke.
"You don't know enough about politics
to stuff a chicken. Who said anything
about any measly convention? Get into
bed, will We? You got an idea that you
put candidates in pot like turnips and
poke EN- with Il fork, and the one that is
done first is elected. Oh! you re right
| you've got the sense of it. With your
craftsmanship all you want is tournament
ments and a motion to adjourn to be An
act of Congress- and Mr.. Spoopendyke
cast his clothing into corner, Topped
into bed and pulled the clothes over his
ears.
81 don't care" unused Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke, as she turned out the gas and then
began putting around to see if everything
was all right; l know that if Mr.. English
carries Mr.. Garfield State, and Mr.. Gar
field carries Mr.. English State it will 60
hard with Hancock and Arthur, and Mr..
Arthur is such handsome man, and
Mrs. Spoopendyke sidled into bed, plant
ed her cold feet in the pit of Mr.. Spoop-
endyke's stomach and went to sleep
dreaming that that worthy was running
for the office of notary public and bad
carried every State in the Union, includ-
ing Governors Ireland