Daily Republican., 1881-08-18
A JOLLY CROWD.
Pun and FrOlic In Facelia's Proe
| Field.
SyIPE ON TOAST

"Sn:pc on toast, sixty cents"
Snipe on toast would be almost to,
healthy food to feed people who hat
tesn floating on u raft three weeks
feeding on bootlegs. Says to tho wal,
er: "Give me some Snipe on toast. ;
By ,andby he came in and put dowI
some toast, and | kept on reading.
sat there an hour. Then rang the
gong. The waiter entered and says |
~ here the deuce il my neat
Says he: 'They been on the table
an hour"
Says /; 81 didn't order plain toast;
want a snipe on it,"
| Says he: There is snipe on it,
Then drew close up to the table and
| saw y black speck on the toast and
said: you'll swear that's q suipe""
Says he: "Yes."
Says |: "You would make . good
liren buyer, YOU would"
Says he: IT'S snipe on toast, any.
how"
Says L. "Ho~ did it got on it,"
Says he: That snipe's all right: it /,
full sized one, too"
Says !: "l'm glad you told ms that's
full sized snipe, for do You know.
young man, when sat out there read
ing | saw black speck on that toast,
but | took it for y fly; and I'm glad TO
be Informed it's snipe. Now YOU can
take tha. snipe away and b-ins me a
trrkey on toast, and | want u full sized
turkey, too!'
amt hankeying after snipe since
that epS Me. | could have blown That
~nipe through putty blower without
hunting the snipe or putty blower eth
er Snipe on toast may be gau.e, but il
10 q mean game.
WHAT SHE CALLS HIM.
A well-known eduoai iiona'ist vouches g.,
Tor the truth Of tho following;
A teacher in u lower grade in one OF |,
our public schools received a nsw
the other day--A little miss Of |
SIX or seven years, named, say Matte
Brown. After taking her name tor tn.
school rolls according to tho custom,
the teacher said
tic 2"
"Mr. Brown"
"Yes, but wha. Ia his ti,st name ."
Don't know-his name is just Mr..
Brown"
"fes, y"s-I know" then M bright
dea struck her, what does your man.
ma call him."
Oh | know what you mean now"
he innocent child rsplii; INA, she
alls him darned old fool p II
1t Is safe to conclude that the teacher
t.. IL. - |
}. o. +, Brown.
4 JERSEY lsClDENr.
Two lovers were out for y morning
walk in tho leafy aisle Ct 4 New Jersey
crest. TIE birds sang blithely upon
he bongh-, the early sunshine 9naifed
he dew tr"n grass and petals, ard all J
%'nrs secuted to r-jnic. like bride on I !.
'r wedding day. The maiden gathered
iolots, al butns and cowsIips, while he
altered what he supposed to he /. 1
'b,'e kitten that had taken refuge In u '
ol!ow stomp of long departed tree
iiserab!e f,n Strange catastrorhe Ii
'nhappy man helerring 10 the lnc.-
ent aitFr~arl in letter to .riena, t
10 maiden wroti IF George wei. a
Dilel for thousand years in the hot T.
brings of Iceland don't believe he'd :
Yer smell sweet again. !,
HCBBLES t
DR.. Louis Of Nnw Or!eans, who l., y
IA wag, called on q coiorod p
mister and prop )un.icd u few puzz ing a
lsstions. "Why is it," said he, "th.t j
III are not able 10 do the miracles that |
e apostles did" They were protected Il
.ain,t polSons and all kinds ofpnris; fl
Nv is it that you are not protected in Il
Q same way?" The Colored brother a
sponded promptly, "Don't k:ow "
'out that, doctor; Is'pect l is; I've 81
ken mighty sight OF strong m, di- u
ne from you, and is alive yet" +
When II becomes generally known !.
At refractory persons on board the a.
'antr l:epuhiic are put in the sweat
K, excursioniats will not be troubled p'
much With drunken loafers as they
g Gu SOME occasions 1t is just the
nd Of punishment they deserve, and
. managers Of the steamer deserve pt
,dit for this kind of heroic treat ~
Advocate. 10
A lady At q watering place wa. trying ds
attract great deal Of attention at "a
, table, and ber mannsr was none of To
, finest. An old fashioned gentleman W
ietiy rem Irked: Some people give in
al away. Now, can tell by the way Oh
It WuiBan eats asparagus that she az
,d to holl clothes pins in her mouth pr
en she wa, hanging out her weok > ia
shiug" al
\ Pottsvile barkeeper claims to have W. W.
n y mouse killed by the opening of tV u,
smpagne bottle. The mouse gnawe.i NV NV
str Ing off, and tho exploding cork &c, CO.
led him.-Ex. Sounds like q Mu,i- r' I'
'usen. And yet, when one reflects 81, 49,
i many inuss has been brought to vi vi
end by opening a champagne bottle, 20.
foItsYille man NAV not be wrong. n '
oh, Yes, ," said poor Mrs. StruggIeon, ref
IS, we've rented II cottage a. New iel
{, and had our names in the pa,,ers, rn,
know; but as Mr.. Struggleon il el
. To make an assignment in the tnll,
thought the best plan Was to have q
,sant sumDler Oh account of tine girls,
know, poor dears! Maggie, you )
w, is almost twenty-five" res
oston has regained her place as the .na pao
md commercial port n the country, rha n",
Boston base ball club is crawling .' h''
Iards towards the first position in i .,;I
league, and the Rev. Joseph Cook ~. a
stay abroad longer than he origi- oa,'
y intended. Why, then, should W. nI
all brsloniaps give thanks and be " -,
oy?-Host Post. ~" ,
r. 4lcott told the Coucord sumner cat,
'"l OF Philosophers mat "Ac,uai,ly .un
e Thinguess Of rho here" Tue due
rmai II almost paralyzed them. ,wo
Yeas they had been laboriGg uuoer Ih,
that he Hereness TIE
le Actually is the Thing But i. ctic
such Thin-.-NOrr. Herald.
.e Baltimore American says that the
Icy Ell, b.ack-eytsi and viOlet-eygu ~,