Knoxville daily chronicle. [volume] (Knoxville, Tenn.) 1870-1882, 1881-09-24
rifa AND POINT.

Pm AND POINT.
A NAN is known by the company hs
keeps out OF.
FUNNY items are made by adroit turns
of the humor wrist.
TIE little knots of hair on the head Of
q Chinaman are curlyc-ues.
WHEN two persons fall in love, the
only way to get out is to fall out.
A MAIDEN wants to know how to avoid
havine,a mustache come on her upper
lip. Eat onions, girls.
IT does not follow that a young lady
is q fine performer on the piano because
she plays in beautiful manor.
A NEW kind of berry is being grown,
called the Telegraph" An electric
currant, probably. = Yoakers States
man.
MANY young ladies at the seaside
take more interest in the wave of one
hni E1xchief than in all those Of old
ocean.
"JoHN, is there much difference be.
tween a sea and q saw" eyes; the
difference between see and saw is ir
tense"
DETROIT Free Press Isn't it wonder
full how thousand-d dollar trotter shrink'
away into. the hide of seventy. fve-dol
lar plug when the tax assessor comes
around?
A CAmo girl whose lovers name il
Peleg blushingly addresses him as " Pc
limb" Her modesty is of several years
duration, and has baffled the skill Of the
best physicians.
AN Iowa COW succeeded in killing al
elephant, lion and camel. Brav'
COW! She did it by getting under tht
train bearing these creatures and ditch
ing it.-B0ston Post.
| We notice great number Of on
Northern exchanges are soft-soaping til
Mexicans. Most of them have beer
needing soap of some kind for severa
centuries TEXAS ,Sittings.
How BIG was Alexander, pa,
That people call him great3
Could he upend his mother-in-aw
| The best i've times in eight?
| o! no, my child about the heft
| OF me or Uncle Jim;
| Old Aleck just got up and left
When she got after him. -
"How DO you like this country {?
asked naturalized citizen of q maide
fair from the white cliffs of Albion. {"
ate it," she replied. This, he reflected
Ia a wonderful year-one of the ateys.-
4adres0s' american Queen.
| A POPULAR clergyman was greatl
bored by lady who admired him will
out reserve. "Oh my dear Mr.. -,
said she, there isn't any harm in on
loving ones pastor, is there ?" See
tainly not, madam" replied the worth
,leric; mot the least in the world, s
ong as the feeling is not reciprocated.
The most hopeful physician is a
Ohio doctor who refused to give ma
up until after he had been buried sew
raj days. The man the doctor held
was not a regular patient, but one th
he had dug up in graveyard for di
secting purposes. An irate relative wit
shotgun persuaded the doctor to gi,
the man up.-Ie1as SJtings.
BROOKLYN Eagle: "Ah," sighed Il
, white-haired veteran, " the good old da,
are past, the well-remembered halcyt
days when we were young and the C.
,, Of the soap-fat man used to wake us l
{ mornings" eyes," returned his We
!, erable companion, II shall never forg
those soap-fat men. They're all in t
: oleomargarine business now."
3 A LITTLE Chicago boy of 4 years W
!, much astonished when he awoke O
+ morning to find little sister in |
, mothers arms. "Where did it COZ
t from ?" he asked, with his eyes wi
d open. "From God ?" was the repl
}. "Who brought it?" was the next We
8 natural inquiry. can angel"
: thought for moment, and then e
;. claimed: "Oh, mamma, why did
S you catch the angel, too?"
r THE sentiment of the honeymoon il
;. frail thing, and after while man fo
= right through it like brick through
i cobweb. A 3-months-old bride was r
thing away in her usual loquacious sty
s when her husband, forcing hims
o to appear not too severely tortur,
q said: "Don't you feel as if you we're p
o ling your beauty by talking SO much
, "Why so, John?" she asked, with mu
:. surprise. because, precious, this
II summertime, and you might get ye
l. tongue sunburnt.
n THIS is the manner in which the Fal
> Argus holds out the lamp for the vii
4 sinner:
g sinner who the long week through
For mamnon worketh well,
{. Thy town site drop, likewise thy CROP
e List to the Sunday bell.
% It rings the sale of golden lands
- To all who'd 'scape deaths doom:
Then o invest among the blest,
Catch on this heavenly boom.
D. Come now and hear the blessed tale:
La Shake of thy rents and stocks,
And incidentally don't forget
The misn onary box.