Litchfield enquirer., 1881-06-30
CLIPPINGS.

bearing enopgh YTTTA TA Who saysitis unhealthy to sleep in feath- CTS Look st thatsspring chicken and see how cough he is.
 see that it is proposed to erect a monu- msnts sto ''Iroquois. Give him mine. = Geo. Washington.
 "We Kissed Beneath the Moonlight" is the title of new song. Reckless creatures, don't you know ''The heavens are telling?"
 A, Chicago editor gave his daughter $500. OOo check on her wedding day. It sfterward made an excellent 'laniplighter. 'R''' ~
 Come, yonng man, go to college. learn to pilot boat race and bring home pretty di- ploma.
 Shells of dynamite in the shape of Florida watermelons are still passing northward. The South is reaping terrible revenge.
 When woman arrives at the age of 35 without. accommodating husband, she enjoys attending one funeral more than dozen balls.
 The Old Testament will not be revised for three years yet. People will have to break the ten commandments as they are for the present.
 Cucumbers are only thirty-five cents each- Yonkers Gazette. That's cheap enough for the cucumber, but it's the funeral that costs the money. Boston Times
 ''Gentle Annie "-Yes, it will be proper to work monogram in the liver pad which the young ladies are getting up for the pastor of your church.
 Minnie was two years old She asked for some water one night When it was brought, she said "Papa, can't you get me some fresh water this tastes little withered.", 2 ~s es fWbstre want "s says the New York Her aid, "is the truth."' What under heaven would the Herald do with such thing if IL n'' '" .u.iftfYO 1Sltt.
 There was young woman named Minnie,
 Whose lover was such a sad ninny;
 He crept up like this, sE $ ss@H
 ,Dgive her a kiss, sFtSea&S 8& y
 And embraced her old laundress, Virginny.
 The Canadians are reported as quite gener- ally believing that the world will come to an end, June 18th. The real fact is, however, that the world came to an end years ago so far as Canada is concerned.
 The meanest man on record is in New York. He invited night watchman to take drink, and syly put in it a powerful stimulant that would keep the man awake all night.
 Hereafter at the Vest Point commence, mentjexercises friends of the graduates will testify their appreciation of the essays by heaving plugs of tobacco on the stage instead of flowers ,Tg#.Gt 7t3s2 A!.
 The story is revived that Whitelaw Reid found at the side of his plate, at his wedding breakfast, check for five hundred thousand dollars but it is added that he passed his plate for. more. ~o av rrs 2 s1ry rs.
 A butchered Simsbury COW was found to contain number of nails. pins. needles, shot and piece of sheet lead. This is kind of animal from which the army gets it's salt junk.
 'It's long way from this world to the next, said dying man to friend who stock at his bedside. "Oh, never pind, ny dear fellow. |" answered the friend, consohng glyyayou'll have it all down hlll |"
 Ben. Franklins mother-in-law hestated about permitting her daughter to marry a printer, ass there were already two printing offices in the United States. and she was un- certain whether the country would support a Mean folks in this world? There are A south end father asked his son if he felt too tired or lame to go to Barnum's circus, and when the boy said "no' told him to go and bring up a bod of coal, and the boy couldn't say he wasn't able.
 Irritated mamma itdoes not fit as if I sball espdcsthe honey back Mr Moses" NJ au0 'Bnt s'telp me --s Irritated- mamma- " ursadvertisements say Money returned if not approved..." '" Mr. Moses = ..So they do, ma tear, so they do; but your money vas ap, proved, it vas very goot money" Apremipent citizen of Austin was being pro pelled homeward by faithful colored servant late one night last week, when they suddenly came to halt. "Whassher matter, now ?'' asked the prominent citizen. "'Dar's man dead drunk on de sidewalk" ''Gimme lamp post ter hold up, and you dragsh off mishera. ble drunken beasht by his legsh." eaJ A Danbury bootblack was in South Nor walk when the train went through there on it's way to Hartford with the nations military dignitaries. Did you see General Sherman ?'' asked citizen this morning while having a shine. .> >'sNo; was he looking for me?" P A Boston business man recently tried to umpire game of base ball between two mines made up of his employees. and, before the fourth inning. he had discharged every one of the players from his. employ, cut down the wages of the scorers, and been thrown over 8 fence by the excited men. A young painter says with an air of sincer Fifty, s'I don't want to brag but cherish a humble conviction that possess all the excel. ! fences of Raphael and Machael Angelo with. out any nf their defects" ''But," says one of theaudtors. ''ip.that case you are snperi- ] or pthem both. Thanks old fel l,' says the artist, pressing his hand warmly. @A sS A San Francisco lady wanted her little girl to bathe in a room the windows of which opened into the yard, sin which were some fowls. ''But." said the little girl, .I don't want to bathe before the chickens" s'Oh, | never mind the chickens" said the mother Well" said the little Roman, Fl won't bathe before the rooster, anyhow"
 ''Whygdid you send me such aGbarrell of applesT' Ddignantiy exclaimed a man to his grocer E'What ailed the applesan Asked the grocer. 'Why, they opened well enough on the top, but grew worse all the way down. g ''The trouble was" said the grocer, .stbat y"u 'P' uOu tuC udiiCi ot tuC WTUuS end. III you had opened the other end first you would l have found the apples growing better all the l way down."
 a @ A E pS--FRoM THE DANBURY NEWS. .s--sA-s S< water boy snatched man from the track and saved his life xat the erailwayzr station in New HsSen. sAYednesday The man was so glad over his escape that he gave the boy two dollars. rgt
 A Smsbury grand juror who can't help getting, drunk himself, but, believes drunken. ness should be punished, draws up and signs complaints against his companions as soon as he is sober enough for the purpose
 John BsekwtH ;aes1ufE agrich itnrist \ of Salem, sold four large cakes of fne-lookine bayberry wax to New London firm at a