The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1881-02-03
Sharps and Flats.

I-,rls Nild B,,lcr has one wife
and Il terrible scandal. Delegate
Cannon of Utah has four wives and
no scandals.
Gen. Garfield has sent to st.
Louis fora stocking TO put his mail in.
Inscription found on Il Pcnsylva-
MIA tomb This man paid his board
bill, God bless him!'
As our reporter came along Water
Street last night. shiyering with the
chill night air. and drawing his over
coat tightly about hiia, he thought.
"now is the time fer colds and
coughs" but il poor mortals only
knew what Il certain cure DR.. Bnsl's
cough syrup IS. how few would long
suffer. and then il costs only twenty.
five cents Sandusky tOoio9Register
Somebody plumes himself on
having discovered that Napoleon
was not an Ohio man. This person
should consider. however. that Sa-
polcon found ii impossible to keep
his office.
To mothers whose children are
weeping Sweet and halmy s'smher
secured for the little ones. and
coughs and colds rapidly hanished
by the use " Dr.. Bulls Cough Syr
up. Price . cents.
Why will you doubt? what every
one says must lie true. DAYS KIDNEY
$500 e., ..n1cnlt;n.r .,n3 anvil, - sft,e.
Of diseases that have heretofore been
considered :ncnrahlc.
The New Orleans Pirayune has
discovered that bcarda have III i'm
portant political significance, and
thinks that General Hancock wa.
defeated because he shaved 50 close.
The suggestion is altogether too
barefaccu.
A hard money paper wrote an ar,i-
Gle in which occurred the word"bond-
ites." The eompositor set it up
bandits" ahd so it went to press.
That hard money editor apologized
to his masters instead of exchanging
places with that typo rs he ought.
S. w. Frishic. OF East Toledo. Ohio
says 1t afforded my son relief, and
dispclled all signs Of this dread dis
ease. which has afflicted him since
childhood. / eheerfully recommend
the "Only Lung Pad" to all Asthma
tic sufcrers.-S ADV.
They do say that Mr.. Garfield
talks religion most beautifully. This
explains why the sktl,tics who 60 to
Mentor to criticisc remain to prey.
1t is intimatcd that Congressman
Loring wrote the Grant Article on
the canal question IN the North
american Rerien. Grant Is popu-
lar and powerful writer when he gets
the right man to aitanuensis for him.
The public generally must remem-
Der his war dispatches when the
talented Gen. RawliEs was his
amanuensis.
"The best evidence OF success is
success" and that is why Prof. Gull
mettc's French Kidney Pads have
had such an enormous sale, for il
positively cures all diseases OF the
kidneys and urinary organs.
There is every evidence that "Boy-
cotting" will become dictionary
word. 1t will not be the first ease
on record. All Englishmen, for in
stance, speak Of tramways, but few
az them know that the word is short
for outramways, Mr.. Outram having
invented some improved method oi
locomotion by aid Of such means
Nor is the boy who sings If | had .
donkey that wouldn't 60, wouldn't
wallop him. O, no, no" conscious Of 4
reference to admiral Wallop. akins.
man Of Lord Lymington now visit.
1 Ing this country.
Wishing 10 pay his friend com
pliment, a gentlemen remarked: =
hear you have a very indnstriou,
wife, EYES," replied the friend
with melancholy smile, "she is nev
er idle, she always finds something
for me to do"
Colonel said man who wante,
| TO make out a genealogical tTee-Col
onel, how can l become thorough,
acquainted with my fauiiy history
simply 10y running for Office An
swered the Colonel.
Being ut party when the parl
guns announced the birth OF Il prime.
Douglas Jerrold exclaimed. "Ho'
they do powder their babics"
No liberal man would impute
charge OF unstcadincss to anothe
for having changed his opinion
Cicero.
i We see how much a man has, mn
! therefore envy him; did we see no
, little he enjoys, we should rathe
pity him.-Seeo.
Emerson says o man ought to ca
~ pencil and note down Il
thoughts Of the moment. Yes, III
one short pencil, devoted exclusiv,
IL to that use, would last some me
, about 1000 years, and then have til
original point on.
: We were the second commerce,
, nation in the world in 1860.
! Republican papers are boastin
that now we are the third. VIII,
progress!
The young woman who bant
away at the piano and sings: "Wh
is Home Without Mothsr?' viii
her mother is bending over ii
: wash-tub is like piece Of che,
calico-she won't wash.
, A clergyman who said in one
:. his discourses that every blade
grass was a sermon, was next da
amusing himself by clipping his law
when parishioner said: That's rig
!. doctor. Cut your sermons short.
4 The reason men succeed who mir
Z their own business is because the
4 Is 50 little composition in that line.
How poor arc they who have II
/. patience. -SIA kEsrEAEE.