The Rock Island Argus., 1881-06-04

men were INFORMED Inat the Idules W0ul0
permit themselves to be hugged and kissed
at 40 much per squeeze, the proceeds to-
be devoted to prominent and deserving
charity. There was some difficulty in ar
ranging a schedule of prices, and the row
would have broken out earlier if some of the
ladies had been made aware of the value at
which their charms were estimated. The
following price list was finally adopted:
For one go-as- you please squeeze OF one
minute, and one kiss, terms cash in ad
vance:
Girls under ~ e cents
Ladies from 20 to IS cents
Married ladies under 30 30...................S
Married ladies' from 30 TO 40. ...... so cents
Widow ladies cnder 30. 75 cents
Maiden ladies from 80 to 40 o........... so cents
Maiden ladies over 20 two for. nickel
The gentlemen were all gathered in the
dining-room and all the ladies in the par
lor. In the library was committee of
two-a lady and a gentleman (the latter
being time-keeper)-an they called in the
gentlemen, one by one. Each was shown
the schedule of prices and a list of the la
dies present, and when one selected the
list of the ladies present, and when one Sc
lected the lady he wanted to kiss she was
called in and the transaction occurred in
the presence of the committee. In cases
where the squeeze was prolonged beyond
the schedule time, or an additional smack
taken, fine of double the price was i'm
posed for every minute in excess, and in
several cases the fines were heavy, but
where paid without murmur. The whole
affair was confidential and none but the
committee were to know who kissed who.
There was present one young widow OF
superlative charms (whose name is with
held from motives of delicacy), and who
Had rosy lips that would entice
The gods to kiss at any price.
And for whose one embrace a monk would
give his relics and his ashes. The other
ladies of the party didn't mind it much
until she had been called into the library
nine times in succession, without so much
as whisper for any one else, but when
her name was announced for the tenth
time they began to look little uneasy.
She remained in the library considerably
longer than usual this time, and loud
laughter was heard from that mysterious
| apartment Miss -, lady who had
registered her age at 80, and who had
caused some titering among the younger
| girls by so doing, whispered something in
| the ear of Mrs. -, buxom widow who
| sat with her on the sofa, and the latter
| ter replied in an audible tone of voice:
Eyes, know; she always has had that
repututation."
| When the young widow appeared again
| her face was very read and her hair was a
good deal mussed up, but she didn't seem
| to notice the indignant glances that were
cast toward her from all sides.
| The library door opened and the time
keeper said:
/ Mrs. - is wanted again.
L l. ,rYrrT
glanced around the room, as much as to
saw. I'm sorry for you, poor things" and
disappeared. The lady of 80 year ex-
claimed, almost before the door was shut:
Il must say, it's perfectly scandalous.
Before anyone could reply shout OF
laughter was heard in the library, and a
little black-eyed woman in the corner jump
ed up, looking little wild, and inquIr-
| ing:
| WASN'T that my husbands voice?"
GAS sure as I'm alive, it was, respond
ed the buxom widow on the sofa, and turn
ing to the lady of twenty nine, she remark
ed, sotto voce,:
| tsThere's been a good deal Of talk about
them two, you know"
Another shout was heard from the IL
brary, and the little black-eyed woman
started for the door,
| y "Pm going in thereT she isaid. This
thing has gone far enough.
| Another fine; that's three" called out
the committee time keeper, as the black
eyed woman opened the door, and the Ia
dies all rushed in after her.
There they stood = the young widow
clasped firmly in the arms of the black
eyed woman's husband. The COMMITTEES
protested against the intrusion, and some
thing was said about the ..ruless but i
was of no avail. The buxem widow ane
the young lady of twenty nine made some
observations that didn't help matter
any-and hearing the row, the gentle
men rushed in through the othe
door. They seemed to see something
amusing in the situation, and all joined il
chorus of laughter except the black-eyet
woman's husband, who appeared to realiz'
that trouble was impending. The hostes
endeavored to arrange matters SO that busi
ness could proceed, but the black-eyet
woman with fire in every glance, demand
ed her sthings." Her husband approached
her and offered some remarks in the way o
explanation, but was answered only by
burst of tears. Several ladies of the part,
followed her upstairs to the dressing room
but the more they said in the way of inter
cession the madder she seemed to get
until by a sort of silent but mutual under
standing a dozen or so began to put OF
their wraps under the impression that tn
| affair was over.
Several of the gentlemen attempted Il
twit the husband about his scrape, whil
others soothingly remarked that it woult
be all right in few moments.
Gentlemen, you don't know her." wa
the only reply he made.
The pecuniary return was large, beint
I $37. 50-$7.50 in fees, and $50 in fines, bu
| the black-eyed woman's husband observed
/ confidentially to a friend few days after
that he'd rather have paid ten times TIL
amount Than had it turn out the way
did