The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1881-07-15

tcnlercr demonstration, when the meal
is about midway i'll its Frogrcssion-a
fact easily determined, if you arc at n
boarding house, by tho emptiness OF
the gravy platter, which usually &C.
ours at this pcriou-risc dcmurcly, put
your hand to your forehead, and stag
ger out Of the room.
If your husband follow you, call him
"NIy dcar''-say he is very kind-you
don't want him to trouble himself on
your account-you arc not5Worth mlnu-
ing, etc, etc, ctc.-all ofwhich phrases,
and suntlry others, will present thonl-
selves to any wcll-educatcd 1cnlaic
mind. The time intervening between
the break fast and business hours use
with wise reference to making your
husband miserable. / would suggest,
as favoritc and cffcctual means, dashlng
yourself on the sofa, and burying your
face in the cushion pacing to and
fro across your chamber with rapid
and irregular steps and a most persever-
ing and obstinate continuity OF silence.
When your husband takes up his hat
affect not to see tit may bring him
to spCcch When he rattleS the door
key, as he probably will, to win one
parting glance, don't look toward him,
but sway yourself back and forward III
your rocking chair, and not TIL iic final
ly says "Good-morning must you
bring to bear upon him the condemna-
ton of your reproachful eyes. AS You
hear his rctreating footsteps you will
naturally listen very eagerly in cN-
pcctation of his return, but he Will not
come back. You will then make a
little hystcrical scream, in the hope OF
arrcsting his attention, but he will not
hear YOU When, under like circunn-
stances, did such appeal ever reach the
! sdull, cold carr of any husband :?
When you arc fully persuaded, as you
will be shortly after this, that you oct
ing has failed to make any impression
upon him, that he has seen quite
through your unreasonable atfectations
| and expectations, and will treat you
accordingly, you will have arrived at
about rs comfortable 4 state of torment
as can reasonably be anticipated in the
earlier phases OF connubial felicity !;
and you can pass the day pro1itably,
which you will thus have made as long
as three days usually arc, in further
qualifying yoursolfto become your own
| tOrmentOr.
LESSON II.
Sullcnness and pouting, however
eilicacious-an their efficacy cannot DC
positively relied upou-must have al
formations Of frctfu!ncss, petulancc, and
Iscolding!
For the introduction of these after
Ofjces into treatment no definite rules
can he laid down. Ii, however, thi
wife have All ordinary degree Of dis
cernncnt and tact no difficulty vii
prcscnt ITSELF An outline of cOnluc
may be indicated Notwithstanding.
+ 4 very happy method Of hciSlltcn
f ing domestic felicity has been found t
be a frequent reference to the wider
liberties and dcarcr pleasures Of Siriisl
days. Entreat your young-lauj
friends, as often as you can lind oppor
= tunity in the presence of your husband
| never to marry so longs as they live; IN
, innate, with mysterious and terrible
: vagucncss, that all the old inventions Q
. torture arc dwarfcd in comparison witt
e the ordcals of married life. Say, if yo
/ had some kind friend to warn 20
, how grateful you would he-if 80
: could hut have your days of freedom
. back agaiu-anu shake your head an
:, sigh = This j.; all calculated TO. awake
: Uneasy cn!otivus in the bosom O! YOU
= husband, which will presently con
: snti,icatr themselves to yollfSrI
y When asked if you go here or there
do thus or so, answer, rrsrctfuliy, thi
: YOU siS,.i to, and indicate that you III
= not y,e,Atiticd to do any thing, or so
;. any place, since YOU have put on ma
Z riagc bonds. If your husband ask
G you to sing or read to him, as in tn
II days gone by, answer that you haV
c nothing to read; say outright, 80
Y don't want to sing yaWn: and ind
<. cate in all ways that reading and sin:
rs in. to him arc old stories. If he man
it rcsts 4 disposition TO converse, talk
a. what YOU used to have in your oW
ST lather's house, and make frcquci
mention of the privatlons you ncV'
I'll cXncctc,i to have to suffer. No mau
nj what tho humility of your form
it state, or what the elevation and ail
to cncc of your present one, there may
cs clicitcd unfavorablc contrasts, if "
but bend your energies to tho scare
n, ing of thCn out.
IL Abstain rightly from tho usc of al
d- of those little courtcsics by which t
n regard OF your husband was first wo'
al neglect, to slovcnlincss, if you Wi
he those personal rcnovatiOus and adoi
,rt mcnts which the eyes of your girlio
,g, delighted in; slippers down at
heel stockings soilcd, and wrinki
III about the ankle hair uncombed; a
morning dress with tasscls, ribbo
cf- and laccs flying, have been found to