Western sentinel. [volume] (Winston [i.e. Winston-Salem], N.C.) 1856-1886, 1881-02-24
Sardines Under Difficulties.

laces and ribbons in his wife's
bureau drawer whats become of
the can opener don't see it any
where
what do you want Of its' asked
Mrs. Spoopeniyke, futtering up to
protect her trinckets, and trying to
gain little time.
4 want to open some sardines
with it, replied Mr.. Spoopendyke,
abandoning the drawer and hunt
ing through the work basket. |
Think | wanted to comb my hair
With it?' Imagined 1 wanted to
write a letter with ita Well, I
don't. | wanted to open some sar-
dimes. What have You done with
itl
You might take your big knife,'
recon. m.nended Mrs. Spoopendyke.
The big blade is the very thing for
that t.t
Mr.. spoopendyke seized the
knife, and bored away at one cor
ner, of the box, while his wife look
ed on with considerable distress.
Hadn't you better put a paper
under the boxa You'll get the oil
all ever the table CLOTH suggested
Mrs. Spoopendyke.'
No, 1 won't either, said Mr..
Spoopendyke, as the knife plunged
through and the oil spattered.'
Served you right if l did, lie con-
tinued, ploughing away at the tin,
while the grease flew in all direc-
tions- 1T would teach you to put
. the can opener where you could
find it. What kind of housekeeping
do you call this, anyhow he yell
ed, as the blade slipped out and
closed up on his fingers.
: sDid you hurt yourself, dear 2
asked Mrs. Spoopendyke, anxious
ly.
!, No, [ didn't hurt myself grin
t ned Mr.. Spoopendyke. The dod
t gasted knife struck the bone, or
+ would have been dead with agony
] an hour ago. Give me some ether =
i. he howled. 'Fetch me some chlo-
a roforln! Spose I'm going to saw
+ at this box any more without an
S anestetic Got an idea Pm going
$ to chip off a couple dozen fingers
without something to deaden the
J. pain Where's the laugEing-g gas
+ Give me some laughing gas while
S | extract these measly old fish, and
/ Mr.. Spoopendyke pranced around
: the room, and then jabbed the knife
: into the box again, and ripped
away as though he was run by
,fl steam. No use to hide away from
d me! ? be yelled, hacking. away al
r the box with all his might. 8
: know you are in there, and there
t amt any dod blasted sardlne tila
, ever was built get away from me
n Come out, I tell ye ? aud he seizee
: a fish by the tail and slung Inn
e across the room. You're transact
E, ing business with Spoopendykc now
" and he clawcd out handful o
r. smashed sardines and slapped then
d down on plate.
is wont You spoil 'em, dear ?
d asked Mrs. Spoopendyke, dodgin!
! the flying heads and tails. They
J. won't be very good fyou open ZEN
le that way
oh, won't theya' howled NJ,
in Spoopendyke. If You don't llk
~ EN- that way what'd you ask ther
ut for! Maybe you want me to ta..;;
ID 'eE out in baby carriage. P'rap
le you have got an idea l ought t
81 climb under 'em and lift 'em GU
I'd Maybe you want me to get into thu
box and get them ont with seine
ar Well. l won't [ tell ye. Give m
as the tongs, want that fish at til
IT. bottom. Where's the tongs? Con
;" to get married to the can opene
lis haven't they 2 and Mr.. Spooper
IN dyke grabbed another tsh and fire
by him into the CRATE"
ch BE patient, my DEAR said Mr.
IT Spoopendyke sootlingly. Max
ON the opening a little wider, an
they'll come out
sAin't I patient shouted M
LII Spoopendyke. 'P'raps you wal
!, me to sing to 'em, Il wish I was a
u angel and with tho-'dod gast ii
'h' fish 2 Come out of thatp and wit
! a wrench Mr.. Spoopendyke haule
~ off the top and disclosed the mal
oo oo gled remains OF his enemies. No
oo give me lemon; quick now
8 'Upon rny word, my dear, l don
IL IL believe there's lemon in Il
~ house, STAN mered Mrs. Spoope1
90, dyke, 4 lad one
oo so, you had one! proclaime
no ~. Mr.. Spoopendyke, 'only you're in
" w out. If you'd been brought |
n 7 right, you'd only need an awnil
o.. and family OH the top floor TO
se a grocery shop! S'pose Pm gcir
to eat these sardines raw! Thir
I'm going to swallow these ii
Ke alive! Gimme something to put
'em, will ye?'
est what woald you like my dear