The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1881-07-21
The Combination Girl.
From the jaime sville (wis.) Courier.


George w. Peck, Esq, of Peck's Sun ac-
companies an elegant sewing machine, which
is now on exhibition at Kings book store,
with the following characteristic letter to Mr.
W. T. Vankirk:
DEAR VAN: Your letter in reference to my
giving some kind ola premium to somebody
at your county fair, is received and have
been thinking it over. l have brought
my massive intellect to bear upon the subject
with the following result; l ship you to-day,
by express, sewing machine, complete, with
cover, dropleaf, hammer, tucker, Teller, draw
ers and everything that girl wants, except
corsets and tall stockings Now, want you
to give that to the best combination girl' in
Rock county, between the ages of seventeen
and thirty, with my compliments. What |
mean by combination girl, is one that in
the opinion of your committee has all the
modern Improvements and q few of the old
fashioned faults. such as health, etc. She must
be good looking; that is, not too handsome,
but just handsome enough. You don't want
to give this machine to any female statue or
parlor ornament, who don't know how to
play q tune on it, or who is as cold as re-
frigerator car, and has no heart concealed
about her person. Our girl, that is, our
"Fair girl" that takes this machine, must be
''the boss" She must be jolly and good-na-
tured, such a girl as would make the young
man who married her think Rock county was
next door to heaven anyway. She must be
SO healthy that natures roses will discount
any preparation ever made by man, and so
well formed that nothing artificial is needed
lowell, Van, you know what l mean. You
want to- pick out q thoroughbred, that is, all
wool and a yard wide. That is, understand
me, don't want the girl to be a yard wide,
but just right Your committee don't want
to get mashed" on some ethereal creature
whose belt is not big enough for dog collar.
This premium girl wants to be able do days
work If necessary, and one there is no danger
of breaking in two if her intended should hug
her. After your committee have got their
eye on a few girls that they think would fill
the bill, then they want to find out what kind
ofgirls they are around home. Find if they
honor their fathers ard mothers, and are help
full, and care as much for the happiness of
those about them as they do for their own. If
you find one is as handsome as Venus-l
don't know Venus, but hear she takes the
cake-l say if you find one perfect in every
thing, but shirks her duties at home, and
plays, 81 want to be an Angel on q piano
while her mother is mendng her stockings OF
ironing her picnic skirts, then let her go aheed
and be an angel as quick as she wants to, but
don't give her the machine. You catch the
idea? Find the girl who has the elements of
that she has to wear a little larger corset than
some, but one who will make her home happy
and who is friend to all one who would
walk farther to do a good deed and relieve suf-
fering than she would to paralyzean icecream
saloon one who would keep her mouth shut
a month before she would say an unkind word
or cause a pang TO another. Let your COM
mttee settle on such girl, and she is as well
come to the machine as possible. Now, Van,
you ought to have a committee appointed at
once, and no one should know who the COM
mittee is. They should keep their eyes out
from now until the fair, and they should
compare notes once in while. You have
got some splendid judges of girls there in
GAINESVILLE, but you had better appoint mar
ried men. They are usually more unbiased.
They should not let any girl know that she is
suspected of being the premium girl until the
judgment is rendered, so no one will be en-
barrassed by feeling that she is completing
tor the prize. Now, Boss, leave the consti
tuition and the girls in your hands and if this
premium is the means of creating any addi-
tional interest in your fair and making people
feel good natured and jolly, l shall be amply
renAd