The Republican journal., 1881-12-08

| Tor that purpose.
Good and bad eggs were unmistakably
mixed now, and l threw the Shiny mass
out Of doors, with decided antipathy to
eggs for breakfast
The next day some evil genius must
have whispered me to cook some beans.
They will be convenient, thought. This
cooking every meal is bore.
After long search, found the sack
that contained them, and turning out
quarts perhaps, washed and drained
them, and then selecting nice piece OF
salt pork, placed it over them in the pan,
and put them in the oven to bake. But,
| have since learned, dry beans and salt
pork have no affinity, and the more
cooked them the harder they became, if
such thing We're possible. The pork
sputtered and snapped, but the beans re-
mained small and shiny as at first Two,
three hours were given them and then
! took them from the oven to make ag-
nosis Of the case.
But one thickness of cloth is not enough
between the hand and smoking hot metal; ;
at least, such is my judgment; and com
ing to that conclusion before ! reached
the table, let 90, and they came rattling
to the floor like hailstones, giving d map
of Greece (grease) not down in any geOg-
raphy, ancient or modern. Blowing my
bhstered fingers, at intervals, | shOvelled
the uewitched things into the back yard,
fer emily hoping they would not take root
ant, produce a second crop, obstinate as
themselves.
But | must have something besides
meat and potatoes; the bread was all
consumed, and was becoming desperate
Some corn bread. yes, could recall the
recipe found the meal, turned on the
scalding water, added the other ingredi-
ents, and soon had a brown loaf, tempt
ing to the eye, at least. But | soon found
that beauty was its principal charm. If
| it did not ''turn to ashes on the lips" it
did something much cOarSer and there
was an uncOOked taste about it decidedly
unpleasant. The few mouthtuls man
aged to swallow scratched my throat 50
numerically that | was fearful of some
mortal disease having its seat in that
part; but careful examination relieved
my fears. And | may rs we'll state here
that my unfortunate cake was made of
some coarse, unsifted meal my careful
mother had reserved for the chickens
| did not like corn bread, that was Ger
| tain but could try some biscuit Ac-
cordingly, substituting flour for meal,
added the rest, hot water and all. But,
shade of Tantalus it was neither batter
nor dough, and adhered to everything it
touched | broke the mixing spoon in
trying to stir il, plastered my hands in
the endcavor to remove the broken spoon
and dropped the rolling pin on my most
| thrifty corn.
Just then, the door bell rang, forget
| ting all but my profession, brushed the
hair off my forehead with my sticky fin
gers, and answered the call, to the no
small surprise of the pumpkin who sent
| for me, and who reported that Or. Cooper
| gin bread pills, cause he seen him maxim
'em.
The summons was urgent, and catching
my hat and gloves, was soon with my pa
| tient who was not too sick to wonder, as
his attendants did, if ! was trying to
take cast of myself, clothes and all, in
plaster?
Released at last, returned, determined
to finish those biscuits. The mass work
ed a little better, now it was cool, but
still would take no form resembling bis
cult, dabble in it as | would
Completely disgusted with the glutin-
GUS pile, that clung viciously to every
thing it came in contact with, and
crawled to each side of the board, as if
anxious to get away from itself, stood
and eyed it savagely, and wondered what
should do next?
Il will tumble it into the pan" said
TO myself, land perhaps it will be bread,
like new bread"
But this was a feat easier contemplated
than accomplished The board was COW
cred with the abOminable stuff, and every
| particle stuck like melted wax; but, 10y
dlnt OF poking, pushing and dragging,
the greater part was finally transferred
to the pan and then, with thoughts of a
warmer place, turned to cleaning up
| the debris.
With a cloth and some water | com
menced with the board, Or rather with
the eplaster that covered it; but the water
soon looked like milk, and the cloth re-
fused to remain in my fingers, so encased
was it with slime.
Another ring! Contusion Must every
| body get sick on this unlucky day, Of all
| others
wiped my hands as we'll as | could,
although shreds OF that detestable dough
clung to them, and went % the door.
No call from patients this time, but
| from Mrs. DOssel and her beautiful daugh-
ter, who resided in an adjoining county,
and, having occasion to pass through our
| village by stage, had called to see my
mother and sisters, with whom they
| were Intimately acquainted.
nOn Id Cont tha Gbp, jn fbair faaac
and invited them to the parlor, and then
wondering why they did not do some
thing. The younger one looked at me,
as if she half suspected was an escaped
lunatic, and as dangerous as was dirty;
| but the elder lady, with a practical wo-
mans penetration, understood the situa-
ton at once, and came readily to the
rescue.
"1ou are trying to cook, Doctor" she
asserted, rather than asked, as she
glanced at my bedaubed fingers, plaster
ed garments and flour powdered face.
"a little" | replied, while | felt my
face like fever patients.
"And are somewhat doubtful of sue
cess ?" and she smiled in her own pecu-
liar manner.
thought of that "mouldng board"
and wished my visitors in Jericho.
She seemed to read my thoughts by in
tuition and said, with a decision not to
be questioned II shall claim your hos
pitality for myself and daughter until to-
morrow, as the stage will not pass before;
and as | am so concoited as to think |
can cook better than you, will you please
allow me to prepare the meals while re-
main? ?"
thought of that mummy looking loaf
in the oven, and a chill followed my fever
But bright thought presented itself.
While they were unrobing and wash
ing in the guest chamber ! would make
way with it beyond the ghost of a chance
of a post mortem examination that was,
if it had the same appearance as when |
last saw it.