The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1881-01-26
THE DAILY BULLETIN.
TICKLING TRIPLES,

well my Wlle, You cant say ever
contracted bad habits" mo, sir; you
generally expanded them"
True friends visit US in prosperity on
~ when invited, but in adversely they
come without invitation.
Love never reasons, but profusely
gives gives, like thoughtleSs prodi-
gaI, its all, and trembles then, lest il
has done too little.
In Il recent sermon the Rev Henry
Ward Beecher described a bass drum as
"lwo shecp-skins spread over empty
middleness. "
"When tempted to anger, breathe a
prayer Jes so, When you happen to
stub your toe, for instance, murmur,
"Now lame me-"
Street row; First gamin "Tll fill yer
mouth with gravel" Second gamin:
"Ycrll have big job dom it, First
gamin; "Oh, I'll get a steam shovel"
Although very early this season, it
has already been discovered that during
the present winter ice will, rs usual
freeze with the slippery side up.
Partisan musical dictionary defines
shout 10 be "unplca,ant noise pro-
duced by over-Sraining the throat, for
which great singers are well paid, and
small children well punished
The Fall poets should chip in and
erect monument TO the man who in
vented the names Of the month. Where
would they be if he had not put in
September TO rhyme with remember?
"a have three children who are the
very image of myself II pity the
youngest" replied his intcrlocutor.
"Why?' Because he is the one who
will have to resemble you the longest
What is life? In infancy, battle
with collie; in youth, a struggle to keep
out Of mischief; in manhood, strug-
gle with indigestion, and in old are,
the prelude Of u contested viii case.
The Philadelphia Item runs 'Lov-
erS Corner, and places it up close,
ON ever 50 close TO the pictured adver-
tl'emrnt Of "A par,Or sofa. This truth
Iulne's to life is what our journalism
HecIs more examples o.
\ certain gentleman recently lost his
wife, and Il young miss Of six, who came
20 the funeral, said 10 his little
daughter Of about the same are, Your
pa will marry again, won't hep" "Oh,
yes, was the reply; "but not until af-
ter the funeral"
True domestic sympathy - Wife of
his bosom CATER learning that he has
lost fortune on the stock exchange):
"Will you promise me one thing?" He
(rcpcntanD: What? Never 10 enter
the city more2 She mo, darling.
but that You won't be discouraged, and
will try again"
Noted by the New York Herald: A
great deal of missionary work may be
done by an old oyercoat that is put up
on a poor man instead of on closet
hook. 4 hungry man with heavy
coat on does not suffer rs many or as
terrible cravings a, he would if most of
the warmth OF his blood escaped to the
ungralclul air OF winter.
Rose McWhortebcrry heard her mas
Ter remark at the dinner table the 9TH
err day thal Ki,met meant fate and
that is the reason why she so aslonish-
ci her mistress by rcmarking next day
to Belinda, the chambermaid: "Oh,
B.indy. | can't scarcely walk wild the
chilblain> all over me two kismcts.n
II have no patience with man who
can remember u thing no longer than
IFS being told him, exclaimed Jones
impaticntly "Now can carry thing
in my mind month if need be"
You're "a lucky dog, Jones'" remark
ed Pendorga>t, quietly; lit isn't every
body that has SO much room in his mind
a. sou have You know
A woman may talk "womon'S rights"
independence Of the sexes 'Suf-
Trace, cher mission and all that sort
Of thing, but when her face lights up
20, l1n Ight Of baby and she call, it a
",woet title ootsy loot>y.' instead of
an infant YOU may bet fifteen cents
that womans heart is in the right pace
and that she will come out all right in
the end