Arizona weekly citizen., 1881-06-12
4 Week at FuIler,s Spring.

Header, have you bathed twice and eaten chicken three times in one day If not, go to Fuller's-go with your little ones and wife, or wife without the little ones, according tO circum- stances and date of marriage. Any how take your wife; you will find her handy. Nothing can keep oil flies when man sleeps like q faith ful wife, and as a back-soraicher they beat brush factory by Republican majority. A knowing husband Ill q back scratching contest always takes pools on his wife against field of brushes. But 1 digress, and 10 re- sume, would say that was sick, and concluded to try Fuller's Springs. On inquiry learned that Fuller had everything but the neceSsaries of life 1; that Is to say a life bordering between consumption and cussrdness. The neCesSaTies of such an existence are whIskey, a little more wLiskey, and then some whiskeY. l secured the necessaries-demUohn of them-alsO Q Ie2A and companion (Iuale) aud drove gayly away. Through d cloud of dust l passed the new ho.el, and thence out Oa good road 10 Fort Lowell, |" the home of the brave and the free st from $l0O 10 sic per month. Fort Lowell is pleasantly situated and should be headquarters, with about six companies and two bands-lone band for Tucson). This would make business for the " an- cient pueblo, and also help me along, as the spiritual adviser of the said A. ?. There are many other reasons why Lowell should be headquarters and have siN companies, but time, space and ignorance of the subject cOmpels me tO pass on, which l did, first visiting the wcll-hlled store Ot Mir. Austin. Alter forcing the modest clerk (Whc, by tue way, seeing that an education was no good in thIs country, and that the ignorant get rich first, is now lamenling the lost time Le spent at college, over the de- fuuct carcass oi au equine victim to some other graduate of the same col lege, and has settled down io the true business, making very caraEie and accommodating clerk 10 help me finish a bottle of beer, departed.
 Between Lowell and Fullcr's We passed lhe finest park of monument cactus l ever saw this cactus bears fruit, also ,0O0, 900 thUrns and 14 900 other Kind of prickers, with always a rattlesnake or tarantu!a at the roots. We stopped, and got out To see how the iruIt tasted. and to shoot all owl. l missed the owl three times out of 6 possible three, and the owl flew away to another locality, wondering at the certainty of life when shot at with pocket pistol. After knocking of some fruit l returned to the buggy, and let my companion drive. while put in the rest Oi the time getting 5000 pTickeTs out of one exposed finger, where the glove vas torn. We soon arrived at FulleI's, and n room was placed at the disposal of Gerty and my4elf IF. S-Gely Is a dog. , Dinner was next announced, and VIC threw the weight Of our support .ad influence toward demOiishing all the grub ID sight. After thirty minutes of devastation that table looked like the breaking up Of hard winter, and retiring Co our room we slept a peaceful slope until ?. X, when a bath was advised and iudulged ID. Professor Rickard says this water contains iron, soda, lime, mag guesia, chlorine, sulphuTic acid, carbOnlC acid, silica. The Prof is, no doubt. a chemist from Chcmis;ville. but he lett ou. some of the ingredients that constitute the visible properties Of the water. Now, l am Il pretty good Hirer myself, and l will here risk my reputation by asserting that not only does the water contain all the eminent Professor says, but it also contains pieces of soap, ancient socks of both gendeTs, old drawers with nc visible means of support and smelling unto heaven, buckles, buttons, hairpins, nail brushes, strayed or stolen towels, cigar stGmps and mud turtles. Mir. Fuller could hardly realize that the water was so rich in natural history until he had fiShed all the stuff out Of the spring, and then 1 peeled off 10 a fit condition for passing the night at Yuma and jumped in. Four hundred little hsLcs bit me at once, and swoTe at each one In two languages G. e., adobe and Yauk). Then l stepped on a sharp stone, and holding up the bleeding foot, balanced myself on one leg and communcd with myself, in- trUducing few passages of the re- vised New Testament, quoting from defective biblical memory, and with bleeding foot and visions of lock jaw, 1 no doubt made some revIsiOnS in the book myself Cuss words pre- dominating. 1 am not circus man, and it taxes all my time 10 stand on two feet. The natural consequence of trying to stand on one was com plete failure, and l fell "kerchunk," " striking my head in the slickest kind of mud, and my unhurt foot in a deserted oyster can. With an effort l got myself together Then 1 sat down and thought that if Bob lugersoll was correct, and that there was no hell, where would l send the person to that threw the oyster can Tn the spring. Wishing there was q hell for his ben eft, half dressed and started for the room, my heart full of bitterness and eyes full of soap e cents a pound, $ bars to the pound Arriving at my room 1 found il full of ladies' mis- take, of course. In one hand l held my towels and wei clothes, and with the other was trying to hold up pair of shameless brooches and buttOniess drawers. The exact desire of those develsh pants l never could under stand; they always wanted to fall down when 1 most needed them to stand up. and vice versa. On the eventful OC qsion the "dOdgasted ~ brooches hau their way. As man can't hold as many loose garm -nts with one hand as q woman, by long shot. the brooches. like Col. Sellers Tiffany water stock, went down, and I waddled around the corner and
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