Eureka daily sentinel. [volume] (Eureka, Nev.) 1871-1887, 1881-01-15
RUsTICATING.
The President of the DamphOO1
Infjrmary in Glover.

The President Of the DamphoOl
Infirmary in Glover.
On the 18th of December last President
Baker received an invitation from Tom
Short of Ruby Valley to accompany him
home to spend the holidays. With his
usual magnanimity Mr.. Baker at once con-
ferred a few degrees on Tom, and accepted
of an invitation.
Since the meeting of the Republican
County Convention last Fall, as President
of the Damphool Infirmary, Mr.. Bakers
duties have been arduous, and he had not
slept a wink during a period of nearly two
months until he landed at Mr.. Shorts
home in Ruby Valley. The other day he
sent in some valuable official documents
to the Secretary, Billy Durqy, and
among them was the following
MEM.
Dec. 1S.-Rode as far as the dollhouse,
and then, in pity for the team, which cruel
Tom had overloaded, I walked to within
four miles of Ruby Valley, when the brutes
took a sudden start, threw Tom out and
never stopped running until they reached
home. We reached the ranch about mid
night, terribly weary and footsore. took
Tom out hack of the house; had him cuss
me a while and wear out o bundle of will
lows over nv naked back. Then took a
pair of blankets and dove into a haystack.
Dec. 24.-Just awoke. They tell me it
is Christmas Eve.
H.. - H. .fra,haI Nv tho lota
Presented Tom with one of our magnifi-
cent certificates of membership; ''signed,
sealed and delivered" it myself.
Chatting for a hunt. / was given a sim
gle-barreled shotgun, but in loading I put
the shot in first, rammed it home. and had
to stay at home all day to get one of the
peskv little bullets out of the tube.
Didn't miss the rules of the Order for
that action.
Sunday.-Folks going off visiting; am
on the stool of repentance; head aches.
J-jack P-p-erry, m-make me a cocktail '
That's what I said, but a second thought
satisfied me that he could not do it; or if
he did, 1 could not drink it. So l con-
cluded to adopt the pious racket on this
the last Sunday of the old year. l went
behind the haystack and knelt down
Bah I lit on a buffalo chip, and it was
not very old. I meditated until the folks
had gone, and then purged myself.
I wanted turnips for dinner. I was all
alone. I cooked 'em. They did not taste
as l expected. When Mrs. Short returned
she pronounced the mess horse-radish.
Dec. 27.-Coppers are hotter thar ever
they were in Eureka.
Dec. 2S.-As a favor l went out on one
of Toms bucking bronchos to drive in a
Nn,1- of ,,n,,n{oip obaop ,pbiph ware s11n-
posed to be in hills east of the valley. Saw
the tracks and the sheep, but they were
contrary. l failed to bring 'em in.
Dec. 29.-Fine morning. Mr.. Short
says he has spared no pains to stock those
waters with all varieties of fish. Fished
all day and never got a bite.
Dec. 3~0.-Thawing. Tried hunting again
to-day. Tom loaded the gun before l start
| ed, but it must have been a light charge,
| as the shot failed to catch a departing rab-
bit. Toms best greyhound was just be-
| hind the rabbit and he got the benefit.
The family appear to think a good deal OF
| the dog, and will bring her carcass in to-
morrow. Fired the rest of MY ammuni-
ton away at a couple of decoy ducks.
Dec. 3l.-Cold. Family off visiting
again. Gathered up all the eggs l could
find about the stables. Strange there was
only one in each nest. Boiled 'em three
hours, but they would not get soft. Just
as l saw the folks returning, swallowed
half a dozen of the whole.
Dec. 32.-My stomach is out of order.
Just heard the lady of the house complain
ing about some one stealing her China eggs.
If 1 survive l will bring in the rest of my
memoranda some time next year.
(Signed) JOHN T.. BAKER,
! Life President of the National amphool
Infrmary,