Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1881-07-31

fact.n said |, ssund l be as hot as der
ground wash und as dry as herring fish,
by TAM "Was dat so,'' said he, fund
tink we will shake mine hand with der
faderland und look for some old Gam
brinus behint der cellar door,"
What sly old wink honest old Hans
then gave me, while his jolly face was IL
lumined with smile of friendship and
hospitality as rich in truthful simplicity
as the horn of plenty is full OF abund-
ance. Up went his index, finger in the
air and crooked fish hook beckOn, while
down came his brogan on the floor
with a thump that drowned the music
of that niger band Down in his deep
cool cellar planted my moustache in the
hold of schooner of that delicious Ger
man brew which has beguiled the thirst
of so many men and women in our Re-
public from the higher wines,
sinking their inordinate cravings for ex-
hileratine draughts in these foaming
iagons OF Teutonic origin, invention and
national popularity and worship
THRoTTLED PRESS.
The newspapers Of Kansas, like those
of the other States, have loved to criticise
and gossip about all matters, subjects
and persons about as free as free can be,
but in regard to discussing the merits
and dement's of this prohibition law they
are all as dead cocks in the pit, fully
shorn of their independent wafies, gaffs
and combs. Let a Kansas quill-driver
dare to print the opinion that
this law may prove imperative,
because of it's unbridled, allopathic
severity, and out of the front
door goes tumbling half his subscription
list, all the advertising and job work of
his temperance supporters, while they
bulletin through all Gath and its envi-
rons that the unfortunate wight has gone
0eer to the rum interest, body, gizzard liver,
brain and soul.
Then let him chronicle with his rusty
steelpen, and hair line clipped types, that
he is personally in favor OF
liquid prohibition, in even d
wise, practical form, and I more on
the homeopathic diagnosis than the pres
ent law, and his back door swings open
again on the automatic hinges of
public opinion, and out of it
goes flying the other half of his subscrip-
ton list, and Office patronage, who assert
that this is free country and man has
as much right to sell and drink "se0 foam"
as he has to cuaff water or iced tea. Ye
gods, what condition for the poor prin-
tiers, who have hard work to get their
re-shoulder corned beef, second grade
flour, lilliputian potatoes, unboned cod
fish and swine and beans, even when
every party man sticks to the journal,
and rarely ever pay bill, except, of
course, when there is a prospect of
being written into Office. Can
didly, this Kansas censorship of the
press makes the abridged liberties
of journalism in France, Germany and
Russia melt into total ineignifcance.
Suppression, fines and Bismarck repri-
mand, are not to be compared to carry
ing ones own cross up the Golgotta Of
starvation, crowned with a wreath of
thorny lies, to be MORALLY speared at last
in the bread basket.
THE LAWYERS TAKE THE CAKE.
Like Victor Hugo's ''Man Who AL
ways Laughs" theffacial muscles of all
the Kansas lawyers seem to be thorough
ly fixed for five or ten years. perpetual
grin, for are they not all going to sport
gold watches of the finest
caret, wear boiled shirts heaven
starred with diamond studs, erect
palatial residences and villas in the cen.
tire Of rich acres; he drives about in
gilt eouipage and owns fast horses of the
purest and fleetest lineage; be clad in the
choicest fabrics of the loom and the pro-
ducts of the rich worms; sit in slippered
feet at the lordliest banquets, at tables
grooming with the costliest fruit and
viands, and sip the Oldest wines of for
eign and domestic vintage; to finally
spend their declining years in scissoring
gold bearing coupons from Jay Gould
stacks Of government bonds. What
matters moral leprosy and muir
rain in young commonwealth, only
to be checked by half century of COM
mon sense and repentance, provided that
these professionals drain all the milk. from
the teats of the Kansas temperance
heifer, while her owners are struggling at
the tail and horns.
INSCRIPTION FOR THE STATE HOUSE.
When Kansas gets fully ready to add
centre to its capitol buildings, we prD-
pose she places this appropriate inscrip-
ton, inigoldenletters, just beneath the fret
of it's main portico and just above its sus-
tanning and MOSAIC corrinthian columns:
'DUM FooLIBUs CAMS SIC TRANSIT HOG
DIEM"
which, literally translated into beef's
tongue, will read, every dumb fool of
dog will have his day" Muchly yours,
JACKSON SLoCUM.
Cured.
Cincinnati Commercially
During the recent period of sunstrOkes