The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1881-02-10

would call. Never mind Mn. Lamb, but you
ought to call on Mrs. Wolverton."
What fol7 What has she got In common with
me, except that her bones are holowR She don't
know the difference between Guinea pig and
the burning Of Jerusalem. Always wants to know
II don't think that sodom and Gomorrah were
parallels. Is that the kind OF list you've made
QUIZ Want me to run around among old monu.
ments. Who's Misl swashH"
That's Mrs. Smith, the little widow. You
know she's interested In sending women out West
to get husbands. She'll amuse you"
"she ewill II she sees me. She Il make me laugh
like an old hyena II she gets one eye on me
Who's that yellow headed girl that sits two pews
in front OF us2 I'd call on her, now."J Ea1 y.
"she's little chit OfA thing. You don't want
to run after those young people-a man of your
ager
whats the reason do nt2" howled Mr., spoop,
endyke. "Got an idea that / only care for the
tough old people, haven't your Think I'm sort
ofa Plymouth Rock, don't your Got any more
old landmarks that need inspeGtion2"
II don't care" demonstrated Mrs. Spoopendyke,
indig lantly, they're nice people, and like to
cultivate them They may be alone In life, but
|
they can't help It,"
Cultivate em II you want to-" growled Mr.
| spoopei dyke; but II you think I'm going hoeing
around among 'em the 1st of January you're left
What dye want. to cultivate 'em fort With your
friends and ideas you only need weekly prayers
and an alarm Of fire to be an old woman's home
Who else have you got here2 Mrs. sllRgonspratt
Mrs Woptensough, Miss K.tmp.z.f-" S.
you don't read them right at ALL" complained
Mrs Spoopendyke. That's Mrs silVerspoon and
Mrs Worthington ami Miss HemmingWa-. They
are Just as nice as they can be-"
Are they the three fold worthless who howl in
the choiI2' asked Mr. spoopendyke sternly,
They We g,t grandson old enough to be my
| father"
"They haven't" sobbed Mrs. spoopendyke.
"You know better"
''Well, most of'em have. What dye want me
to call on 'em forl Got any more old almanaos
expecting met Where's the sphiDxH You haven't
got the Sphinx down here, aOr the Tower OF
Babel. Who're these other pyrsmidsi Who's
Mrs Upsidedown2'
That's Mrs. Edg ,rton. She sent you the Jelly
when you were sick, and you said she was the
best woman in Brooklyn. You'll have TO call on
her for politeness," said Mrs. spoopendyke, &c.
Verely.
II won't, eitherl" shouted Mr.. spoopendyke
THE Jelly was sour and she made me pay dol
lar toward plaster OF paris angel for a starving
family out in FlaIbush, Who's this other nurse
Of George WAshington'7 Here, this is mistake
l went to old Miss shumslock's funeral thirty
years ago."
"YOu didn't You never didl' proclaimed Mrs
spoopendyke, thoroughly aroused "That ISM
her name, either. It's Miss schoheld and she II
the best friend I've got, only want"
II know what you want" hissed Mr.. spoopen
dyke, "YOu want few more scquaintsn ces, ant
a map to be guide book to ancient Troy. Thinl
I'm going to call on that old monoithi Got any
thing here that belongs to modern timesY Know
anybody that has been dug up within six or eigh
centuries2 Who's that black.eyed girl in th
Bible class2 Don't she hang out fog 10 day"
II wouldAt look at her." sulffsd Mrs. spoopen
dyke II wouldn't have you go there for world
Besides she don't receive"
whats this2' demanded Mr.. spoopendyke
What's Mrs. Win p os't.y.x got to do with 1t
What cemetery will find her int"
"Thaps Mrs. Willoughby," explained Mis-
spoopendyke, complacently. "she is the widow
who recently joined the church"
Don't mind calling on her." IS i'd Mr.. Spoopen
dyke. She wasn't born MORN four Thousand year
before the Christian era. Got any more like her
Does this messly list contain anybody else VIII
wasn't The mother of the Chinese Empirei Thin
Of ony more grave stones that haVn't had the cpl
taphs worn off p
: NO" replied Mrs, spoopendyke coldly, "ant
now remember, Mrs WillOughby receives call
with friends in Buffalo"
"DOd gast your dod gased listl' howled NJ
spoopendyke, dancing on the unhappy docu
ment, What dye think am, ghou2 s'pose II
going to prance around among all the measy oil
ghosts in Btooklyn7 s'pose I'm going to swss
around and eat cake aud drink lemonade with
lot of illustrations of the sllurian period2 Thin
I'm going to spend the day with a lot Of arlicula
ed old skeletons just because they belong to tn
same church that l dor and Mr.. Sponpendyk
popped out Of the house like bung and wen
next door to see If his friend Tortorthumb kueV
! Of any mummies OF whose history there was on
tradition,
II don't care" said Mrs. spoopendyke, as sh
whrled around two or three times to pIactc
Kicking her train, iii he don't call on the chufc
s people they'll be hopping mad, and II he does b
won't have much Of time, 80 he'll wish he wa
dead either way" and Mrs. Spoopendyke hustle
into the parlOr to assure q sandy haired youn
, man with a stiff neck that 1t was awful good q
! him TO come, and to learn that he hadn't com
far of his own volition, but had slid most Of tn
U way.-Brooklyn Eagle.
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