Litchfield enquirer., 1881-12-29
CLIPPINGS.
n 1t easier to freturn tia6hs, than borrowed bor

J1lx4 q 44s 0Ns
 } 1t easier to return thankss than borrowed money. S< Ss V S ss. A.s. s's- -ss-
 Thomas Carlyle was certainly a philoso- pher: He preferred eyspepsia. to oatmeal
 Some of the retail stores have twenty-five cent counters. The idea probably originated in the United States Mint. IThs6,ds& inhda.a4s ,ts gssueraliy al mans not because he is given to lying, but because hs commenced wning ap to bis age soopesy 'sf The man who stops ffisipaper to aesaom ize ought to cut his nose of to keep from buying shandEefdhiaAO YAQaTHTU
 What is the difference between charity and ]aftailnrfI The fifstcovefsEa multitude of sinss the second multitude of sinners. :. ], The mat l6 oaees hot kaoovi aoovi SisjoknTa6Ina should be introduced as soon as it is bie enough. sIyis IA .4h1fa taad sdI Young man, if you haven't anything to say, write 0ut iuthesforn1 ufa ecsnre. mount the fostrun and your fortune is made.
 Es. Is this the Great Eastern? No. it is a Gin ciBnati girls shoe. See how easy it is to be mistaken.
 Ms. Tvefmefe is slectlribg 6nS. ..The Boy of To-day" who is out in front of the church. waiting for The Coming GiHirYa YFsvoF ste q At the polls is was easy tolteIl the man who voted yes. on the license question by the ap1 a.a psaa.ancs sof Dis .'nssE nG cX10a I
 Some of the papers want gospel car att tachedito ealia raiiroaIi trains. Just imagine ahe interior of such Car with the train two hours behind time.
 sBy constantly Jumping up aud inter. upting spnoeeedingsin court; Guiteau is trying ta prove himself insane. He is wrong. All 1a&yers do eihat.H D q sfasss 5tJ v44ssI ! |sb The Londoners are going s,t5 lave hotel or the American plan. An American hotel clefAk has been sent across and the hotel will be built around hlm. 1F3
 The man who eats his own words will have mental and moral dyspepsia. Don't "fireoff'i your mouth till you're quite ready and you'll save yourself great deal of trouble. Teacher to'a small boy: ''What does the proverb say about those who live in glass houses ?" Small boy: Pull down the blinds" sasus
 You can walk 200 Smiles~in Maine and not see rum shop. They're like old Polonius, behind the arras, eand they are there every time. 'ss s.5 5ssE
 In Virginia third conviction for burglary sends man to prison for life In Phiadel- Sphia it is merely supposed to qualify him for an election officer.
 "The Unseen Hand" IS the title of new book. Probably the other, man didn't have anything better than pair of trays and didn't dare tocall.s *Ss E &4 s~s ss There is said to be no poor-houses and jails in Norway. Tins is strange. We always supposed Norway was a civilized, christian country.
 An exchange wants to know ''whether our colleges turn out gentlemen Certainly not ; the gentlenen are allowed to go on and grad uate. [ Romans never let pride interfere with their business Families worth .$20,0O0 send their children out to beg for pennies, and they are told to beg mostly of Americans.
 L A large estate in England awaits the heirs of Henry Jones, who came to this country in 1851. There is enough money in it to give the American Joneses almost cent apiece.
 What large Dog. He is going swiftly up the street. So is Tin Can. Will the Dog win the race P I should smile It is wrong to tie g, Can ona Dogs tail if the Owner of the Dog catches you
 Some recent exhumatlons in ,Egy pt have brought to light the supposed statue of Poti- phar's wife, and competent judges say that If the thing of marble was true to life, Joseph was Justified in having his coat torn.
 editor of areligious newspaper con- plains of correspondent, clergyman, for sending him, letters which have first to be translated for the printer, or run the risk of being mistaken for brokers cipher dispatch. ) Almedical certificate is among the treasures of the London general post office, worded as | follows This is to certify that I attended Mrs.--in her last illness, and that she died in consequence thereof"
 4. A. PhilaGelphia man bought g. microscope and became so alarmed at the confirming things he found in SchuylkiH water that he stopped dripkingsit and used whiskey as sub- stitute. H can see ten times as many animals now withousa microscope
 ..Nos" said the Kentucky coroner, q. can't attend the cifcus to-night. IJpresnme z there may be some old jobs there, utthere's to, be l church sociabIe at the Fork tonight, and if I'm not on hand, shall miss lot of business. | I'll let some other coronor attend the circus. " When an Austin schoomastef6 entered his | temple of learning few iuurnings ago, he read on the backward the Atouching legend ::
 ''Our teacher is a donkey. The pupils ex. pected there would be combined cyclone and earthquake, but the philosophic pedago. gue contente,i himself with adding the word
 ''driver. to the legend and opened the school
 with prayer as usual. sa l Who can estimate the value of .newspa. per ?? You buy it for couple ofcents; learn all the news of the day while on your way home in street or steam car can then place it against your chest under your coat and thus l keep from catching cold between the corner | and your residence; can read it again in the evening, and, if lacking in bedclothing. can 1 use it as blanket at night. After that it is the best thing in the world to put under car. pets, and when tired and sick Of it you can
 trade it off for plaster image.
 l A treasurer once. went to one of his bonds.
 men and said, while the tears stood in his l eyes t' You have always been a good friend
 to me, and have come to tell you that my
 term of office expires next week, and l. have
 not stolen cent. What will my neighbors
 think ?" The bondsman replied 'sThis is a
 serlous case, but perhaps if you run away
 with somebody's wife between now and next 1 week your reputation as an officeholder may
 be frightened up a little,' In few days
 there was great scandal in the papers, and
 people saids -'This man is not as bad as we thought Of coprse,s he has failed to steal our
 moneys but he has broken up arfamily, which
 IS better than nothing. In time he may make ! a good oficeholder
 | Alderman Tucser, Boston, says you may 1 state that Ihave paid for medicine and treat. ment in 90 years $3, 900, without receiving permanent benefit. Entirely cured of his dis ease (salt rheum) by Cuticura Remedies. <. H. E. Carpenter, Esqe Henderson, N. r., cured of Psoriasis or Leprosy, of twenty years standing, by the Cuticura Resolvent internal- ly, and Cuticura and, Cutlcura Soap external | ly. The most wonderful case on record 5HoTe aACARD. 2 E fft sSsss9 Tl1EsatgW ssU----zErs so FtSS fg1S During the next six mOnths there will he a