The Canton advocate. [volume] (Canton, D.T. [S.D.]) 1877-1897, 1881-09-22
IN A NUTSHE ELL.

IN reading 1t that the danger hes.
A Chicago paper notes that while
Cincinnati raised $500 for n quarrel
some fellow who slapped another mans
face, she contributed only $l7 to the
Garfield Fund.
"Who goes there?' said an Irish SEN
try Of the British Legion of St. Sebas-
tian. "a friend" was the prompt re.
ply. "Then stand where you are"
cried the sentinel; for by the powers,
you're the first friend I've met with in
this murtherin' country"
A Rhode Island man called neigh
Dor a lantern awed cockroach." A
suit for SANDER resulted, and the jury
returned as follows: "Not guilty on
lantern awed but way of on cockroach,
and we find damages in the sum of
three cents"
A western editor, being asked by q
subscriber what was meant by the word
lhyd roger, replied, "Gin and " aief, y
and explained that hydro was the
French for water
1t is difficult to explain the workings
of the youthful mind. A boy who will
listen indifferently to the sublimest
truths of theology, will be aroused to
the acutest interest by the progress of
a caterpillar over the collar of the bald
headed man in the pew in front of
him.
The thermOm eter was still above 80
when he came in, and taking her hand
tenderly said: ~ love you even more
dearly than told you 1 did last night.
You were silent then, have you any
thing to say to me now" ooh, yes"
she responded with girlish impulsive-
ness, "lets go sit by the refrigerator"
Young lady-"And you really mean
to say that at times you do not have
enough to eat. Why, l always thought
that poor people in the country could
get eggs, bacon, milk and vegetables
for nothing" Country woman-"Only
three things as we gifts fur muffin, Miss
air, water and the parsons advice"
Until boy is about fifteen years old
MS chief craving is to be hero After
that he begins to experience change.
His dream of scalping Indians gradu-
ally fades out, and the highest notch Of
his ambition is to sit on the back stoop
with his playmate's sister, and give way
to a feeling of lum-tumminess as it
were.
A man rresistably concludes that it
must be very pleasant world in which
every passer-by regards him with a
pleasant look and smile; but his salts
faction is leavened when he discovers,
upon his arrival home, that he has been
carrying on the tail of his fur-trimmed
overcoat two white camphor bags, which
"madam" thoughtfully pinned there
when she put it away in the Spring.
The Turks were at a French ban
quet. Toward the conclusion of the
feast one Frenchman selected tooth
pick from a tray of those useful nipple
ments lying near him, and politely
passed the receptacle to his neighbor,
who, however, peremptorily declined
his offer, exclaiming, "No thank you, l
have already eaten two of those things,
and l want no more"
Twas Sunday eve and the small boy stood
With his eye on the keyhoe pressed,
And he saw his sister Bessy's head
On Absolom Thompson's vest.
Then he ran to his parents stern and told
And the parent short replied:
There amt no harm IN vest; slide out
But the lad refused to slide.
There amt no harm in the vest, 1 know,
And his eyes flashed bright that minute;
But isn't it dangerous, dad he asked,
When Absalom Thompson is in it'"
A little fellow, who knew Mother
Goose better than he knew his Bible,
was asked in his class, "Who were
thrown into the firery furnace?" This
was to much for him. The question
was passed. The answer came prompt
ly, "Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-
nego." This was modification to the
little fellow; and when the next ques-
ton came, "Who put them in?" he ans
wered with a jump, Little Johnny
Green!"
The Reno Gazette is responsible for
this: An old and excellent engineer on
the Central Pacific cot Got q new fireman
the other day, who, after throwing the
big pine blocks for an hour or so, got
very tired of it and thought it no more
than fair to take a change. He looked
up to the engineer sitting on his COM
Portable seat and said: "Here you
throw chunks for awhile, and 1 will
look out for cows"
At the exposition of electrical an.
paratus just opened in P iris, the Swan
lamp was the great success of the occa.
sion. 1t is simple in construction. It
is a hand lamp with globe. A wick
OF carbon gives out a soft light without
heat, and it is said to be Of indefinite
duration. 1t is lighted and extinguish.
ed by turning button. The lamp is
said that it is cheaper than gas, but far
more brilliant. All Paris is in ecstacies
over this lamp.
A PARAGRAPH is travelling through
the papers to the effect that the prin-
cipal difference between Flipper, the
cne-armed colored army officer, and
Howgate seems to be that Flipper stole
81, 900 and is in Jail, while Howpate
stole $500, 900 and is in Canada. The
difference is not SO great after all.
Each took all he could lay his hands
on. and both love their country. Fin
per started for Mexico, but didn't get
there.
Among the many prospectors of
Utah year ago were four young men,
who were rewarded by the valuable
discovery of mine near HALEY. One of
the young men had lady friend, and
it was decided to name the mine after
her, and to so fix the title that in caso