Osage Valley banner. (Tuscumbia, Miller County, Mo.) 1879-1881, 1881-06-23
The Crisis Discussed

The Crisis Discussed
The night before last he Utica
Croquet Clnb--composed entirely OF
young ladies-held its second meeting
for the season of 1881. Two new men,
bers were admitted and proposals for
membership were made, The com
mittee on resolutions made their ex-
pected report. The resolutions were
written on scented paper and penned
with violet ink. After the business of
the evening had been finished, the
young lady sitting on the ottoman sud
denly exclaimed;
"Oh, myl Girls did you hear about
Conkling?"
mo. What is it?n said the four
misses on the settee in one breath.
why, he's resignedI'
Resigned to what2 Has he been
dangerously sick?" said the Secretary.
mo, no, Can't you understand?
He has given up his Senatorship."
Goodness graciousl Amt that too
bad2"
"How much did he get for itPn
queried the girl with the album in her
lap.
"Why. YOU silly thing; you ought 10
read the newspapers. Senator Conk-
ling got dissatisfied with something IN
/ Washington, and resigned his Office
into the hands OF Governor Cornell.
There was misunderstanding between
him and the President about some man
| named Rob-Robert -Roberts-Let me
see. Robinson No thai amt il. Oh,
yes Robertson. Dear SUIT They say
the whole country is in crisis. y
=" read all about that, said the Pres
/ sident of the club, knowingly. ''Sen.
ator Conkling and this Robertson had
some kind of fuss while they were
/ trying lawsuit Come 10 think, Mr..
! Coukiing wanted TO giyefshim some in
structions and Robertson wouldn't have
I IT, Then this President appointed Rob
ertson to collect money IN some ward
in New York City"
THAT wasn't it," interrupted the
/ first speaker. "The President told Mr..
Robertson to stand at some lock
! deadlock, they call it---and see that the
/ eanal-boat captain paid their tolls The
man who was put out Of job by Mr..
RobertGon getting the situation used to
| 90 TO school with Conklingn
"What | want to know. said young
/ lady. ''is how could the President order
these men around so? Didn't | read in
"A paper the other day that Mr.. Conk-
/ ling was the boss?"
MY sakes! that's funny" calculated
/ tho Secretary; IL heard my brother
| say il was man named Blaine, who
/ came here from Canada, and wanted to
\ run the whole country, who caused the
! disturbance. The President made this
( Blaine present of cabinet organ, and
/ then he never stopped begging until he
| had got whole set OF furniture, too.
4 That made the other men who don get
anything jealous"
what were the guns fred for to
dayP' asked the girls on the settee.
"You see. the Senate helped Robert.
son to get this job, > answered the first
/ speaker. "and the Half-breeds were
so glad they borrowed some eannons." "
"Who are the Half-breodsP In.
diansP"
" l am not sure, but | don't think
they are. They must have come here
when the canal opened
Girls exclaimed the President OF
the meet ng. "do you know think that
firing was real battle' read in the
paper last week about the war on the
President, Isn't it awfulsh
And | saw how the bomt
struckp
"Oh, those horrid Halt-breedsr ejac.
ulated five voices at once.
Yes" continued the President,
"and believe they are going to be
commanded by that General Malone,
who came TO Washington with red
shirt on and tried to scare everybody
"rm going home, family said the
Secretary.
"Letus all go, said the girls on the
settee.
"Oh, Ihope we won't meet any Half
breeds. ~ Utica (N. ~ Observer.