Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1881-06-04
CHOICE CHIT. CHAT
On Moral and Miscellaneous
Matters.

On MORAL ana Mi-ceiiaueous
Matters.
culled for satnrcsy's Register.
A man is like a match, for you can't
tell What he is made Of until he comes
TO the scratch.
The strongest argument for the state
ment that the human race 10 descended
from apes is to be found in the conduct
Of men rather than in the shape oil their
bones.
Some people are compelled to 90 ia
the Hot Springs Of Arkansas, but the
more economical Just tread on their
wifs's train when she Is ready Tor the
ball and get in hot water before they
know IL.
True charity 10 easily distinguished
from the counterfeit article. "lf you
saw q poor, half starved boy in the street
wouldn't you give him q part OF yonr
luncheon% said little sirl to her big
brother OF nine. "No, sis" was the
reply, "but I should be willing. think,
to give him some ofyours.
II nobody should throw stone at Dr.
Lorimer except those who have never,
or even hardly ever, saturated" them
selves with other peoples ideas snd
afterward deliver them as their own, the
popular Chicago preacher would hardly
have as many stones within reach AS
David had when he went out to meet
Goliath.
Ifaman can have anything, it takes
great deal to make him happy. The APP
petite Is dulled when the table is over
loaded with delicacies. When on the
other hand, q man is so poor that he
can't have anything, it takes very
little to made him happy. An enormous
appetite and humble fare is better than
the choicest viands when dyspepsia sits
at the head OF the table.
There are very few men in the world,
even among the saints, who would be
willing to confess the worst thoughts
that ever hurried through their minds.
The difference between the good man
and the bad is that while evil knocks at
the doors of both, it finds welcome in
the house OF the one and is so uneasy
and out OF place in the house oil the
other that it stays but little while and
then hurries off to more congenial tre-
side.
One OF the easiest things in the world
is to say a pleasant word to young and
fascinating girl; it is, however, only
adding another lump OF sugar to plate
that is quite iull or another flower to
bouquet which is already so large that
she can hardly carry it. Oae OF the most
generous things, though, IS to say
kind word TO the sged, for il Is like
rose blossom in November. True
politeness toward those who are advanc-
ell i'm years smoothes out the wrinkles
OF care and makes one feel quite young
again.
Said Frenchman to his friend, as the
two sat slipping absinthe on the side
walk of one OF the great boulevards:-
"You should have been at the concert
last night, the music was so charming
that | was quite carried away by it,
Indeed" replied the other, quite
carried away, did you say?' Eyes, in
deed" continued tho enthusiast, 81 felt
for a time as though | were in heaven:
Won't you 90 tonight well"
answered his friend, al hardly think /
shall be able to, but il, as you say, the
music can carry one away. even 10 heaven,
| vii. 10 at once and try to persuade my
wife to go."
There is something very peculiar
abont the feminine human nature OF
Germany. When a lady wants silk
dress the shopkeeper brings her num-
Der Of samples and she finds no difficulty
in making her choice. II she wants a
street dress he comes in the daytime;
il an evening dress he comes alter dark.
Shopping, the great and inexhaustible
delight OF American ladies, is thus rob.
bed OF its chief charm. Life would be
a misery unspeskably profound II our
wives and daughters Conld not look
over the entire stock OF Stewart before
they decide to take anything. One OF
the charms Of shopping is to look at the
thousands Of things which you don't
want before YOU settle on the one thing
which you do want, and to gaze admir-.
ingly at the yelyets and satins before
YOU can call to n.ind the fact that all you
are really seaching for this morning IS a
SPOOL OF yellow cotton or a yard ofgreen
tape.
A compliment, properly worded and
uttered at the right time, produces the
most delicious sensation Of pleasure. No
one is so high socially or intellectually
so wise that he is entirely Indifferent to
il. We like to be told that we are great
and good, even il We know only too
well that we are little and mean, and
the man or woman who can successfully
fiatter us has found the golden key to
all our possessions. A compliment,
however, is a very delicate thing to
handle, aud not every one who wishes
to can successfully pay it. A Wittem-
berger daudy-and Wittemberg is TO
Germany what Ireland is to the British
Empire, the place where more bulls are
made than in all the rest OF the Continent
wishing, when at the opera, to say
something especially agreeable to an old
lady who occupied the seat in front OF
him, and anxious 10 combine in his
compliment the two facts thar she look
ell Young and was as fresh as a rise,
leaned on the back OF her chair and
whispered in simpering tones: my
4, ar Mime. y you are looking tonight
lust like twentv-vear-old rose. III he
had told her that she looked Ike rose,
or that she seemed only twenty, she
would have b en- pleased, in spite OF her
wrinkles and her seventy summers,