The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1881-02-18
ALLEGED BITS or WIT.
A pressing engagement-HiSing out To
beef cannery.-Gate City.

HHF." 49, VI ;
A pressing engasement-H<ing out to q
beef cannery.-Gate City.
Bjornsterne BJornson has written ~xer,
pleasantly to aBjnienna paper about Rjsrsnt
Hapkeye. t---SS~~
The man who goes into businsssIwith the
devil soon finds that his partner is soul, pro.
prietor.-N. o. Picayune. ~
The Buffalo Courier says his name ought
to be Skipping Bull, havingyssit4were,=skip.
ped to the land of the CanaebuII.
A report is going around that acneighbor.
ing city barber charges liehtning-rod men
only cents shave in considerations Of the
privilege Of honing his razors on their cheek.
Book agents are shaved for nothing. I'D
II all the dogs were sent to Lap-land, the
lawyers to Lie-beria, the donkeys to Bray-zil
the lovers to Sigh-beria, the editors to News
zealand, and the keyhole anglers to Peer-u,
the eternal fitness Of things would have equi-
librium down to fine point.
A Chinese vase seven feet high has been
imported, at cost of sos, 900, as wedding
present for young lady in New York. You
may break, you may shatter that vase'if yea
will, but the cent Of the dollars will hang
round it still.--Lo,oeH Courier. d
Texas papers are speaking of the fzrc
" George Eliot "a very gifted but very
immoral man." Yes, poor, old fellowSht
had his weaknesses; but as q pugilist he
stood unrivsled. England will not soon for
get his celebrated " Mill on the Floss. ."-Sy.
Y. Commercial Advertiser.
January, sneezy; February, freezy:A
March. breezy; April, wheezy;
May, showery; June, lowery;
July, bowery; Aug lst, fowery; ryA ~
September, blowey; October, howey;k
November, snowy; December, gi6weA
Louisville Courier Jouraal. =
Some philanthropist sent Bible to q MIL
waukee editor in hopes Of him doing some,
good, and he thought 1t was new publica
tion and wrote review Of 1t in which he
said the publication was failure. lit was
intended for novel 1t lacked plot, and. iffof
q history 1t was full Of improbable incidents.
He couldn't recommend it.-Boston Trans
cript.
A newspaper directed to His Satanic. Ma
jesty; Hell, Below China" fell into the-hands
of the mail agent on the Salem Branch Rail
road, Virginia, the other day. Being puz-
zled as to what disposition to make of the
paper he referred the matter to the postmas-
ter at Salem, who settled the matter by say
ing: "All foreign mail matter goes north"
Among the replies to an advertisement of
. music committee for a candidate for organ
ist, music teacher, etc., vacancy having oc-
CURED by the resignation of the organist in
office was the following /" Gentlemen, no.
ticed your advertisement for an orgsnist and
music teacher, either lady or gentleman.
Having been both for several years offer
you my services"
An Arizona paper says that q mining en-
gineer employed at Shakespeare, New Mexi-
co, wrote short time ago to his company in
81. Louis, stating that he would want dom
key-engne to get the water out of one Of the
FnE r
shafts. He was somewhat astonished to re-
ceive the following reply: "Yours of the 10Th
duly at hand. Get engine at once, and as to
The donkeys, use your own discretion as to
hiring them or to purchasing them out
right"
A few facts not 50 generally known as they
should be: A watch fitted with second hand
need not necessarily be second hand watch
Doctors generally agree about bleeding their
PATIENTS. Steam is servant that some times
blows up Its master. An ungrammatical
udge is apt to pass an incorrect sentence.
who get into preserves very often
ind themselves in pickles. Any fool can
make woman talk, but it's hard to make
me listen. A thorn in the bush Is worth
wo In the hand.