The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1881-12-29

A IdcKER-pRALER-the schooimaster. |
THE soda-drinker often thinks OF
foam.
THE promises Of some men always re-
main shall owe.
NRw way to know all about thy |
self'-get Presidential nomination.
IsN'T it slightly paradoxical to call a
man with full beard a bare-faced liar?
Fly time-when You hear your
fathers cane humping along the hall.
COMMISSIONER LE Duo, in his crop re-
ports, never mentions the hops at the
seaside.
A WESTERN journal heads an article:
ga Lunatic Escapes and Marries
Widow" Escaped, eh2 We should say
he got caught.
A WHITEHALL man has discovered n
way Of instantly turning sweet milk into
fresh butter. He feeds it to goat.
Patent applied for.
A WISCONSIN theorist says that hay
will satisfy hunger. There may be some
thing in this, for a couple of stravs Will
frequent satisfy thirst
IT is claimed by some medical men
that smoking veakens the eyesight
Maybe ii does, but just see how 1t
strengthens the breath.
BosroN has public vinegar inspector
at salary Of 81, 900 per year. One
would think he would get awtully tired
looking for his ''mother."
A LITTLE girl in church, after the con-
tribution plate had been passed, com
placently and audibly said, 50 PAID Tor
| four. mamma, was that right?"
Sam Jones: "Smith won't have so
soft a thing as he had" ST don't know, :"
replied Robinson, ''heu have a soft
! thing SO long as he doesn't lose his
head"
BRrpaEr-"And how shall I cut the
pole. NUM-" Lady of the house-'Cut
It into quarters" Bridget-"Ahd how
many quarters wood I cut it into,
NUM-"
You may have noticed that the flies
never bother n speaker, no matter how
dull he is. but invariably attack tho over
worked sitter who is trying to get q lit
tie sleep.
They're heightened in Deadwood, and
thew wouldn't 90 to see the Black Crook
until it was advertised writtenby Shakes
peare. and then they couldn't keep peo-
pie away.
"AH heavens!" cries Mana, sentiment
ally. to her visitor, ''when one is adoreo
by a magnificent captain like you, moth
ing ever can make her love again-unles'
it Is q major"
!. ''MY umbrella Is getting decidedly
shabby" said q. young man about tow
one evening last week. 81 believe viii
have to strike another prayer-meetlnG
the first rainy night"
OCCASIONALLY you find Detroit NAL
who can stand having his whisky stolel
2 and not complain; but when the tle
, hester them during O morning nap, the.
| all swear.-BOStOn Post.
Br1,IdoN is wealth in O crude form
and after it is coined and kept at interes
n while. it becomes wealth in accrue
. form again. This language OF ours
, worse than the gem puzzle, a heap.
DEUcED queer how men differ abor
, different things. When q man hooks
lot of fish he will brag Of 1t for thre
. DAYS, and when he hooks lot OF apple
: he hasn't word to say about it.
r "OH 1 thought this was a DRAWN
e room CARP alphabetically observed
$ Iady to a man in the door of the smok,
= as She discovered her mistake. cit
It num- he said, drawing ON hisn with G
his might.
A POET asks: "When 1 am dead al
lowlv laid And clods fl
heavy from the spade, Who'll think
IS me?' Don't worry. Tailors and sho
IS makers have very retentive memorie
> and you'll not be forgotten.
Ii A New YORK man was challenged
l, fight duel the other day, and being
81 ! liberty to choose his own weapons pr
"a posed tripto Boston on Sound steame
y The challenger backed out. He said q
lc idea that death must attend duel was
"a relic of the dark ages.
% A VISITOR enters O French newspap
- office and is greeted politely by the Off
- boy-"If monsieur comes TO fight du
% he will have to be kind enough to CT
?, again; all our editors are already engag
- for to-day. Parts ChGriUaT.
n AN Owego man, after little eIpe
? ence. truthfully and Indignantly asset
~ that no woman, however nervous, has
m right to wake up her husband from
n sound sleep to tell him on inquire
90 what's the matter, "Nothing, only
:" wanted to know if you were awake"
ne "NAsBY" takes pride in the service
OF his father and grandfather, IN one W
I'd or another As for himself, no say
1y my own military record Is clear,
er the late rebellion 1 served by substitu
L. l furnished three substitutes, all OF who
to-day are in good health-in Canada.