Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1881-05-01
PITH AND POINT.
LIZ your fence is down, picket up.
Turn lost chord-A stolen clothes line

AMI
LIZ your fence is down, picket up.
THE lost chord-A stolen clothes line.
DEAD 1ErrERs-The Greek alpha
bet.
CAN Sally-rate-as good cook if the
bread is heavy.
WHEN the girls get new sacques, waist
places are made glad.
ODD, isn't it, that the moon only
shines on the bright nights
IT is q wise man who knows which
side his bread is oleomargarined on.
WHAT law has been the greatest ter
ror to evil-doers since the world began !?
The mother. in-law.
A HERO, as defined by the Phila-
delphia school-boy, is fellow who does
something other fellows would do, but
can't.
JONES says that the clouds of his
early childhood were no bigger than a
woman's hand, but squat always fol-
lowed them. M
PoLrTENEss costs nothing, and that is
one reason why 80 many people be-
stow nothing else on their chance ac-
quaintances. a4 -.
IT is sometimes pretty hard to decide
which gives us more pleasure-to hear
ourselves praised or to hear our neigh
bors run down.
TIE meter of much of the alleged
poetry that is born to blush unseen in
the waste basket is fully as unreliable as
the average gas meter. Jaw as
You can tell merciful farmer as soon
as he stops his team at post. He
takes the blanket off his wife's lap and
spreads it over the poor horses.
"No KISS ?" he said, pleadingly, sno
kiss from my darling tonight ?" Ono"
she said, emphaticaily, emo kiss. I
hear there's mumps in your family"
"MR. D1aBY, will you take some of
this butter?" "Thank you, pa'am,
belong to the temperance society can't
take anything strong" replied Digby.
BARNABY, who has three boys under
the age Of - years, says he supposes
Darwin believed mankind to be de-
scended from the monkey because it
gets into mischief so naturally and
readily.
"No, THANK you," the young man
said, 81 never play cards. was
brought up differently. But I'd like to
sell you couple of pool tickets on the
races, because I find I won't be here at
the meeting, and I don't want to lose
anything on them. "-Hawk-Eye.
Now sALL1Es forth the candidate
Throughout this beauteous land,
And,ianxious now about his fate,
He grabs each voters hand,
And says to each, sYou are, my friend,
The incest man that lives"
And thus with speech that has no end
He lots Of tafy" gives.
Evansville Argus.
"IN order to succeed in politics" said
Galveston politician, "politeness is in
dispensable. It is the. most important
thing of ALL" emo, it amt" respond
ed Gilhooly; "the voters are more i'm
portant, for If there are no voters to be
polite to. how are you going to be elect
ed?" Verdict for Gilhooly, and no ap-
peal. Galveston Nea0S.
DID you ever notice how things get
in your way when you're in q hurry? A
Boston woman told her husband that q
runaway horse was going by. He
jumped so quick he sprained his knee,
and in his frantic haste fell over two
chairs and skinned his shin, stepped On
the dog, upset the table with books and
drop-light on it, ran against his wife
and hurt her, and got to the window
just as they were stopping the horse
two blocks away, round the corner
Boston Post.
TELEPHONE NFELlCTTIES.
Hello, exchange, please give me Jones;
Hello, hello-O, hellO-O-o!
Obi there you are, these telephones
Do bother people So
I'll call, my dear; hello, hello--o, m
say III call at nine;
I'm 90 in haste, sweet one-hello,
Hello-o-o-to call you mine.
Iwait-hello- impatiently,
Hello, hello-o-the day
When our fond souls will melt in one
Helol what's that you say?
6 What crack Drained fool is't telephones?'
Why, precious, am Dan
Hello-you say you're Deacon Smith?
Good Lord I not Mary Amir
Cincinnati ISnses-Star bI
"TH1s seat appears to be se-kewered, :"
the schoolmaster remarked as he sat
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