davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1881-07-15
Garfield on LincOIn'S Assassin
afinn-

An incident i'll connection with Lin
coins assassination is worth reading
ut this time. A crowd was surging
round the Stock Exchange building on
Wall street and there were sudden out
cries against the World. A movement
of perhaps 5000 or 10000, turning their
faces in the direction of that building,
began to be executed. 1t was criti-
cal moment. What might come no
one could tell, did that crowd get in
front of that office. Police and militia
ry would have availed little or been
too late. A telegram had just been
read from Washington, Steward is
dying" just then, ut that juncture, Il
man stepped forward with small flag
in his hand and beckOned to the crowd.
"AnOther telegram from Washington !"
And then, in the awful stiffness of the
crisis, taking advantage of the hesita-
ton of the crowd, whose steps had
been arrested Il moment, Il right arm
was lifted sllyward and IA voice clear
and steady, loud and distinct, spoke
out, "Fellow citizens! Clouds and
darkness are around him! His pavil-
lion is dark waters and thick clouds of
the skies Justice and Judgment are
the habltatiOn of his throne Mercy!
and truth shall go before his face
Fellow citizens God reigns and the
government at Washington still lives"
The effect was tremendous. The
crowd stood rivetcd to the ground in
awe, gazing at the motiOnless orator
and thinking of God and the security
of the government i'll that hour. As
the boiling wave subsidies and settles
the sea, when some strong mind beats
it down, so the tumult of the people
sank and became still. All took it as
IL divine omen. 1t was triumph of
eloquence inspired by the moment such
us falls to but one mans lot, and that
but once in IA century. The genius of
Webster, Choate, Everett, Seward,
never reached it. Demosthenes never
cqualed it. What might have happen
ed had the surging and maddened mob
been let loose none can tell. The man
for the crisis was on the spot more pO-
tent than Napoleon's gums at Paris.
Inquiry was made what the mans
name was. The answer came in low
whisper: at is General Garfield of
OhiOr
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1881-07-15

Yesterday was Il gala day in the Re
cOrder's office. Couple after couple,
from all portions of the west, serenely
faced the handsome clerk who has been
assigned to the Marriage License Blu.
reau, and suffered the necessary inqui-
sition. About 3 o'clock in the after
noon young workman, with overalls,
checked shirt and slouched hat, sidled
up to Deputy Recorder and confiden-
tally whispered:
''ls this where a fellar gets his mar
ryin' papers?"
This is the place" replied the clerk.
We'll, ! want some papers"
'All right, sir; where's the lady ~
Lady What ladyP
"Why, the young woman you intend
to marry"
''Oh! she's at home, of course
"Well, we can't issue a license with
out certain information about the Iadv.n
81 can tell you about her. What do
you want to knowg"
Her name, age, residence, and such
like facts; and | presume you can't
answer ali the questions"
Cant |! just try me-"
Innocent artlessness," murmured
the clerk chow old is she ?n
''She told me she was just nineteen
years old"
.'Thcn I'll wager she is twenty nine.
What artless innocence" the clerk
whispered. "What is her first name 2"
81 was trying to think"
'ln the meantime, what is her last
name?
81 don't exactly remember that, eth
er. In fact, | don't think | ever heard
1t. But | suppose that it's of no cOnse-
quGnce."
Good heavens, man! What on earth
do you call her ?"
"Well, | call her Puss; but never
thought to ask if that was her real
There was an audible snicker
throughout the Recorders office, and
the candidate was advised to bring in
his engaged partner for further par
tlculars.- Globe Democrat.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1881-07-15
Honesty.

BE honest in your dealings take no
advantage, even of child. BE con-
scientious even in your bargains.
Have single eye and single heart.
Seek not to be sllrewd. BE not
ashamed to be called simple. And let
me tell you Il secret, seeing it is written
in the Scriptures, that your whole body
will then he full of light, and this is in
every kind. You will actually see fur
ther and see clearer than shrewd and
cunning men and you will he less
liable to be duped than they, provided
you add to this another part of the
character which is proper to an honest
namely, IL resolution to protect
honesty and discomtenance every kind
of fraud. A cunning man is never II
firm man but an honest man is : Il
dOuble-minded man is always unsta-
BILE; man of faith is as firm rs Il rock.
| tell you there is sacred connection
between honesty and faith applied to
worldly things and faith is honesty
quickencd by the Spirit to the use of
heavenly things Selected.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1881-07-15
Mark Twain and the Comet.

"A correspondent of the Sun, who
found Mark Twain on the roof of his
house Watching the comet with long
pole i'll his hand, reports Mark as say
ing:
"They are all wrong about the tail.
I've ciphered on that tail until un-
derstand every inch of it. It's absurd
to suppose that the tail isn't solid, and
pretty tOugh too. Do you imagine
that this comet could go buIging
through space ut the rate of two hun
dred miles Il minute without Knocking
spots out of a tail that was vaporP
Tie a fog bank on to the rear end of
the New York and Boston 4 o'clock cX
press, start her off at even forty miles
an hour and see how long your fog
bank will travel in company with your
locomotive. Yet they ask us to swal-
low this internal nonsense about the
comets tail. My observations of this
fellow, and also of COggia's comet,
seven years ago, have convinced me
that comets tails are fastened tight,
and are of IL tibrous and durable nature,
like Hartford becfsteak.n
And what do you propose to do
with yOur pole ?"
"Great Caesar! With tail forty
two million miles long, three million
miles thick, and tough as whip leather,
whlsking about in the wake of that pi-
ratical craft every time she tacks over
head, don't you see the necessity of
keeping Il coOl-headcd and muscular
man on deck here to fcnd off, in case
the cusscd thing whisks this way ~
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1881-07-15
Bad Work.

81 drink to make me work" said a
young man. To which an old man re
piled, '"That's right thee drink and it
will make thee work. Hearken to me
Il moment, and I'll tell thee something
that may do thee good. was once II
prosperous farmer. had good, low
ing wife and two fine lads as ever the
sun shOne ON. We had comfortable
home, and lived happily together. But
we used to drink to make us work
The two lads | have laid in drunkard's
graves. My wife died broken hearted,
and she now lies by her two sons. |
am seventy-twO years of age. Had it
not been for drink, | might now have
been an independent gentleman but
used to drink to make me work, and
mark, it makes me work now. AT 20
years of age | am obliged to work for
my daily bread. Drink, and it will
make Won work -
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1881-07-15
The Man Who Got EN-.

Three or four days ago citizen OF
Bronson street called at the Grafton
avenue station to say to the captain
his wife to elOpe with IA ncighbOr of
his, who was not only a married man,
but the father of seven children.
"What makes you suspect such "a
plot ?" asked the captain.
"Wel, my wife has been kinder
pickin' up her duds, asking about
trains and trying to get me to 90 away
on visit"
"And about this neighbOr ?"
''Well, he and my wife are talking
over the fence about half the time and
throwing kisses at each other the other
half. don't care to raise IA row over
this thing, but I'd kinder like to stop
'em from runnin' away"
"Well, you must take your own way
to Illustrate it, unless you go to the
police justice. BE careful, however.
Anger or jealousy may get you into
trouble"
"Oh, I'll he careful was the calm
assurance, as the citizen went his way.
tn he heard of no more until yesterday
evening. Then he called IA passing
patrOlmen into his house to ask further
advice.
'You see, they had it all planned to
elOpe," he explained.
Eyes"
"But / got 'em."
GLOW P''
He took the lamp and led the way to
the woodshed. The neighbor, dressed
in his Sunday suit, was tied up in one
corner, and the recreant wife occupied
an empty dry goods box i'll the other.
"GOt 'em last night at 9 O'clock
said the husband, "and I've put in the
whole day telling 'em what / think of
such business. Guess I'd better let 'em
off now, hadn't ! 2"
The officer thought so, and the
neighbOr was led to the door, and the
husband said =
''NOw you trOt, and if you ever try
to run away with my wife again III
III he hanged if | don't go over and
tell your wife about it :"
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1881-07-15

yOu. do not know why it haunts me-
Indeed, it is thing that is wholly in
voluntary on my part, and when try
the hardest not to think of it it haunts
me most. 1t comes to me sometimes
in the night, when all is quiet. think
of my father and how he died in the
strength of his manhood and left my
mother to care for large family of
children, and how | have always been
without his assistance and advice, and
then feel it so strong upon me that
the vision is in the form of warning
that l cannot treat lightly For many
years he believed that he should some
time fall between cars or be killed in
some way while travelling. When he
reached the age of his father ut death
and passed that point safely, he SEEM
ed to forget the idea that had given
him so much trouble. He is now 40,
nearly five years older than his father
when he died. 1t is said by those who
know the General best that he was ever
to greater or less degree believer in
fatalism.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1881-07-15
!. Johnsbury a Lake ChamplaIn Railroad.
st. Johnsbury Church Directory.

Adrent-Paldock Village Sabbath Services at
1890 a. m. Las and $50 p. Sabbath School IL
m. Prayer Meetings at 7:jO p. m. Sunday, Tuesday
and Friday evenings.
Baptist-Railroad Street Corner Maple. Rev.
l.. 1 StndfOrd, Pastor Preaching 1880 A. NJ. y.
School - n. Prayer meeting 80. Prayer meet
ins Wednesday evening at 73O
Free Bdptist-Main Street Corner Prospect
Rev Ii Luckhart, Pastor. sabbath services, 1870
4. N and $50 z NJ Sabbath School at IL NJ Prayer
meeting Wednesday evening at 100
Church Of the Aessidh-( Unversalist.D Eastern
avenue, corner Cherry street. Rev Il. NJ. Tllot-
son, Pastor. Sabbath services at l:45 r. N.
Sabbath School at l. NJ. Wednesday evening meet
ing at 1880.
-Hehodist-Central street. Rev T. S Locke
Pastor. Residence next to the Church. Sab
bath services at 1890 A n, and 6:3O r NJ. Sabbath
School at - N. Wednesday evening meeting at
North CongregationaE-Main street. corner of
Church. Rev. Henry W. Jones', Pastor. Sabbath
services at 1890 a. n, and $50 N Sabbath
school at las ?. NJ. Wednesday evening meeting
at 73O
South Congregationdl-Main street. Rev. Ed
ward / Fairbanks. Pastor. sabbath services at
1890 A NJ, and $50 P. NJ. Sabbath School at Il NJ
Wednesday evening meeting at 73O
Pr.sbyteriGn ChuTeh-Rov. W. r. Laird pas.
tor. Services at Presbyterian Hall, every Sab
bath at 1880 u. m, 800 p. m Sabbath school 300
Prayer meeting $50. Bible reading Wednesday
evening 7:3O.
81 AndTeW's-tEpiscopaL Main street Rev
y. +. Putnam, Rector Services ON SUNDAYS at
1890 a m. and p. III. Holy days and Fridays at
: a. m Wednesdays at 1880 p. m. Sunday School,
Roman OdthOlic-Cherry Street Rev J. A.
lioissonnault Parish Priest. Mass : and 10 a. IN
Nespers and BenedictiOn at p. III. On the
second SUNDAY of the month, service at $50 m,
ana p IN. At Lyndonville same day at 1890 n m.
L NJ c. A.-Meetings at the rooms Of the Y NJ
{. A, Browns building, Main Street Sunday
mornings at $50, Monday evenings ut 1880.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1881-07-15
Table Talk.

A gentleman and his wife who had
boarded for years philosophical a good
deal in regard to the ethics of the
table, and one day they made set of
rules which should govern their house
hold in case they were ever so fOrtu-
nate as to have one. The first rule
was that no one should ever be allow
ed to remark disparagingly upon any
food that was placed on the table.
They reasoned in this way: If the
mistress of the house give the attention
to its concerns that she really ought to
give, nothing will appear at the table
which is hurtful or is not well cooked
When she has provided what seems to
her proper, she of course respecting
the known tastes of members of the
family, it is unwise and unnecessary to
criticise and find fault. 1t is not my
purpose to show that this rule was
ever completely carried ont, that no
exceptions were ever made to it, but
the effect of such course can readily
he seen. The good influence it would
have upon children cannot be doubted !;
capricious appetites would not be cul-
tivated and we should not often see
small boys and girls who are exceed
ingly disagreeable embryo epicures
Theoretically, of course, no gentleman
could indulge in a practice which
would give pain, particularly in the
presence of guests, and yet practically
it is not so. Men who love their wives
devotedly have been known to say
that the bread is baked too much, the
shortcake is too rich and even that the
steak is not tender. No woman can
look upon these AS impersonal remarks.
Perhaps some one who has studied hu-
man nature very thoroughly can ex-
plain why it is that next to being
thought handsome a woman loves to
be called good cook. There are
women whom one can pay no finer
compliment than to ask them for one
of their favorite recipes. Poor cooks
are the exception and not the rule :;
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1881-07-15
VOLUME 44---NUMBER 2294.

very few men prefer other tables to
their own the "home TASTE" the indi-
viduality of their wives bread and
pies is more in harmony with their
tastes than any other bread and pies in
the wOrld-they will say so sometimes.
If it were ever possible to enforce the
rule which was to be first in the model
home, it is now when almost every
woman is getting ideas on advanced
cooking and is trying to make her table
do something more than simply feed
the hungry. If it were the practice of
each one to bring something good to
say and to think about the table, n re-
form would commence which would
make itself felt by all connected with
the family \. Y. Evening Post
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1881-07-15
SquibS.

'Had drank" is not good English
grammar, says high authority. IL
certainly is not. "Was drunk" is bet
ter grammar and more in accordance
with the facts nine times out of tell
New Haven Register.
'GOing away this summer p quoried
Il bOOt-black of fcll0w-mortal.
Nav !" ''Wcll, you needn't he so
short about it." "Maybe needn't. but
the idea of our going off to SaratOgy
when we can't raise 80 to git dad ont
of the wOrkhOuse does us injustice as
family"
Cucumbers are only thirty-fve cents
each Yonkers Gazette. That's
cheap enough for the cucumber, but
it's the funeral that costs the money!
Boston Times.
care you fond of Wagner's works ?"
exclaimed Miss Posigush, 81 think
they are just splendid! So easy and
comfortable, you know. Why, ! rode
i'll one from Boston to Chicago, and |
wasn't a bit tired when | got there"
Mr.. Sharpe sighed sorrowful sigh, but
he managed to say he didn't refer to
car-tunes. - Boston Transcript.
''Fust feel of your boys an see if dc
Lawd gin 'em any hoss sense. II he
did it am your duty to develop and di-
rect it. If hc didn't, de only way to pre-
vent men from calling them fules and
idiots am to pack 'em off to college am
stuff 'cm so full of Greek, Latin ora
tory, ancient history AN classical slop
dat some of it will spill Ober wheneber
dey open der mOufs." - Detroit Free
Press.
When Mercury is playing among the
nineties it Mars the pleasure of exist
ence, and we feel as though we might
Diana minute, and az though we need
ed something To Bacchus. If we have
Centanr family into the country, it is
not such "A Ceres matter, for we can
manage to Pan out somehow or anOth-
er. But, if fellow has several little
Cupids to take care of, he is in bad
fix. In a ease of that kind | always
find Minerva failing, and Juno your
self that it does in Vesta fellow with
solicitude.-[D Detroit Free Press.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1881-07-15

carpet with the children in Mrs. How
ellis room, we heard "A ring at the door
and Bridget having taken herself of
somewhere, there was no help for it,
but for one of us to answer the sum-
mons.
''You go, Katy" whispered l in dis
may. 81 cannot appear"
Katy glanced serenely at her own
frizzy head in the looking glass, gave IA
pull at her Overskirt and IA touch to her
collar, and opened the door.
Immediately afterwards. | was
shocked by hearing her utter a genu-
inc feminine scream, and seeing her
drop on the floor; and that man, il per
feet stranger to me, gathered her up in
his arms and began raving over her in
manner that astOnished me. He
called her "his darling" and ''his own
Katy" and actually kissed her before
| could reach her.
| was surprised at myself afterwards
that | hadn't ordered the gentleman
out but it never occurred to me at the
time, and when Katy "came tor and
sat up on the sofa and heard his
speeches, she seemed so well pleased
that | left them and took the children
up to our room, feeling bewildered all
over.
What shall | say further? Only that
Katy lives i'll the pretty house i'll the
town known as Doctor Craig's resi-
dence, where we three "factOry girls"
have Il home whenever we want it..
And there are no liquors found on her
sidcbOard or ut her table.
One day | heard Arthur say, "YOu
were silly child, Kate, to run away
from me. | should have given up the
point ut last, know"
''But there would have been the
splendid cellar and the ten thousand
a year." answered she. at would have
been such temptation. We are safer
rs IL il dear -
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1881-07-15
st. Johnsbury Post Office.
ARRIvAL ANn nRrAnruRE or MAlIs

AkRlNAL AND DkrAKTURE OF MAILS.
Boston and intermediate offices Arrive 4;l5 d
Close $40 and $50 = IN
Bostnn through mail. Anive PIT m. Close
500 pm
New York and the West. Arrive PIT and Hoo
a m and i:l5 Close $3.50 and 500 a ul and 6 90
Newport and the North Arrive 9:GO a M
Close 4:I5 m.
Portland and the East. Arrive 300 p IN Close
$50 a m.
Swanton and intermediate offices. Arrive lOl5
a m. Close 4:I5 pm.
Waterford. Arrive 500 a IN. Close 400 y IN.
North Danvlle. Arrive 9 80 n m. Close 1000
n m.
West Concord and East st. Johnsbury Arrive
900 a Close AIS p m
CHAS. +. CARPENTER. I'd, PM
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1881-07-15
Gen. GarfeId's FataIism.

Those who are most familiar with
Gen. Garfield say that for many years
he cherished the belief that he would
not live to be older than his father was,
and that he would die in some sudden
and violent manner. His friends, with
all their persuasion, were not able to
make him dismiss this thought. He
would say, i'll answer to their claims
that such a belief was foolish: at
seems to me as foolish as it does to
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1881-07-15

He then turned to his wife, united
the cords, and said: ~ guess you
feel ashamed of this, and there amt no
need to say any more about it. amt
very mad this time, but if You try it
again there's no knowing what | may
do
"Well" gasped the officer, as he
drew a long breath.
"Well, didn't get 'em ~ chuckled
the husband i'll proud delight. ~ may
look like a spring chicken, but I'm no
fool, and don't you forget it, De-
troit Free Press.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1881-07-15
Things Worth Knowing.

Black and white pepper both grow
on the same shrub.
Geese have been known to live to
the age of 80 years.
\ Goldfish produces 3,6SG,7G eggs.
\ mackcrcl I5l 500.
There are 1900 square miles of ice in
the Alps. from 80 to 600 feet thick.
The greatest mortality of mankind
is between three and six III the morn
ing.
Iron can he made so thin that it
takes 1900 sheets to make an inch in
thickness.
One pound of good bread is equal in
nourlshmcnt To two or three pounds of
potatoes.
When dry bone is burned the ash
that remains amounts to twO-thirds its
weight.
One pound of iron, worth Il stcr-
ling. when made into watch springs
Is worth E5O,OOO.
y candle burns from five to eleven
per cent. faster in the dark than in
common sunshine.
The microscope shows the hair to he
like Il coarse round rasp. but with the
teeth extremely irregular and ragged.
Every square yard of the suns sur
face Is rcckoncd to give out, hourly,
more heat than can be got by burning
SIN tons of coal.
Binocular vision is valuable in ex-
| amining bank notes. Put genuine
note i'll one department of "A stereo-
I Il.
and every difference will he clearly
distinguished.
Eastern people who have general
idea of the size of Colorado may vet
he surprised by the statement of the
Denver News, that it is the fourth
state III the Union III this respect
The word cant generally applied
to hypocritical and fanatical conduct.
l. derived from the name of the two
Scotchmcn. father and son. who
preached during the reign of Charles ii.
The name of foolscap for paper is
said Ia have originated in 1861, when
| CromwelTs party, To make another Jest
at the memory of King Charles. re-
moved the watcr-mark of the royal
arms from the paper, and substituted
a fools cap and bells instead. They
were aftcrward restored, but the name
/ remained.
! DIR. Gatling, inventor of the famous
gun, has just perfected another instru-
ment of war that is said to he most
complete III its deadly properties. 1t
is capable of firing / 900 shots in
minute and 10y the use of the instru-
mcnt three men can do the work of 300
riiiemen- 1t Is capable of killing
man or horse one mile away.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1881-07-15

Arboriculture (says B. Perley Poore
in the American CultivatOr) should at
once receive the attention which its
Importance demands. Every man and
boy who resides in the country can
plant trees each year of his life, as
woodlands, in clumps in pastures, or
along the roadside. He will thus be-
come public benefactor, and the trees
will be monuments to honor him after
he has gone hence.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1881-07-15

Western Union and W. TnternGtionaI-in st.
Johnsbury House. Open from Z a. m. to . y. IN.
Snndays t" 10 "A. m 3 To p. m. Night messages
AT half rates.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1881-07-15

OOngregGtiOndl-Rev. f. b. Phelps Pastor.
Sunday services at lO.45 a. and & 30 y. m Sab
bath school at 1900. Wednesday evening meeting
at $50.
Methodtst-Rev. l.. G. Dickinson, Pastor. sun
day services at 1.30 p. M.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1881-07-15
st. Johnsbury Athenmum.

Library and Reading ROoBi,-Free to all Open
from A NJ. to IL ~. from to L. NJ, and from
! To l-2 Saturday evenings.
Art Gdliery-Open Tuesdays and Frdays
CHARLES ~ WILLARD Librarian.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1881-07-15

There is man in Northern New
York who ''pumps" an organ in one of
the churches in that region and though
not overnight, is very enthusiastic as
to his ability as an expert in pump
ing He remarked the other day CON
cerning the playing of lady, of some
local prominence as a musician, that
he could pump any tune into the or
gan that Mrs. w. could play"
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1881-07-15

We make speciality Of this work and can fur
nish good article al low prices.
c. NJ. STONE co.