The Portland daily press., 1881-09-14
Melancholy Humorists and Old
Jokes.
London Telegraph

lAOhuOu IolSBIdpu.l
"Gravity of demeanor" is, we apprehend,
little if at all inconsistent with genius for
jocularity. Democritus who, next to Diogenes,
said perhaps, more good things than any other
philosopher of antiquity, is described as ''very
melancholy by nature, averse from company
in his later days, and much given to solitari-
ness" Douglas Jerrold, one OF the keenest
wits Of the Victorian era, was not only grave
but anxious in demeanor; and Thomas Hood
the elder, who could make screaming jokes
even out of the complication OF maladies which
tortured him, was facally the picture Of sad
ness When we turn to the two great masters
of humor and pathos of our age, it will be re-
membered that the habtual expression of
Charles Dickens was one OF concentrated
sternness and that the ordinary mein of Will
liam Makepeace Thaekary was Of extra-iudicia
gravity There is q host of good stories in the
Table Talk of Samuel Rogers but the out
ward and visible appearance Of the banker
poet was the reverse of mirthful. 1t was
ghastly and cadaverous to an alarming degree
so much so, indeed, that French footman to
whom Rogers had, on entering a room given
the card OF Thomas Moore, instead of his own,
announced him to the company as Monsieur
le Mort"
II is curious that criticism should have taken
SO little cognizance OF the fact that "the origi-
nal Joe Miller should have been, in spirit If
not in substance neither Joefhimself nor John
Motley, alias elijah Jenkins, Esq" but the
greatest, wisest, meanest of mankind Fran
els Bacon, Baron Verulam and yiscount st.
st. Abans. lord Macaulay in his review Of
Basil Montagu's Life and Works OF Bacon, in
cidentally mentions that the illustrious philos-
opher dictated from memory without refer
ence to any book, on day when illness had
rendered him incapable OF serious stndy, the
best collection of jests in the world. Hard
students of che three hundred and odd ap-
ophthegms" dictated by Bacon TO his secretary
will fully endorse the Justice OF Mac41lsy's
verdict. They show the amazing depth and
variety OF his learning, his wonderful memory,
his shrewd appreciation oil the good things
said by his contemporaries, and his own keen
sense OF wit and humor. There are few "Joes'
equal to the joke related by Bacon himself OF
1.-THE plain old man at Buxton who sold be-
sons, and who, on young spendthrift COM
swer to him, "Friend, hast thou no money!
Borrow OF thy back, and borrow OF thy belly.
They II ne'er ask thee again; / shall be dunn
ing thee every day." Again, there is tee sto-
ry of the witty rogue who bargained with a
lace man to be supplied for small sum OF
money with as much lace as would measure
from lear to ear" and who went on to explain
that one ear was on his head, but that the 9TH
er was nailed to the pillory at Bristol. Then
there is the irresistibly comic story OF the lm-
pudent thief in the dock, who, knowing his
case to be desperate, cried out when he was
called upon to plead, Il charge you in the
Kings name to seize upon and take away
that man in the red gown" = meaning
the 1 sdgf 6s fear 4 him. e Tho5s in a@ss ainssr With
The modern American joe of the snitor who
had lost his cause and finging down five
dollar bill on the table of the court, exclaimed,
s'Fine me that for contempt, may be interest,"
ed to read in the s'apophthegms" the story OF
the sailor who, being fined two shillings for
swearing, asked what the mulct was for ours
ing He was answered sixpence, whereupon
he pulled half crown from his pocket and
cursing the court all round as company OF
knaves and fools bade the clerk keep the half
crown, as he "never liked changing of money"
American humorists have indeed incurred, al
belt perhaps unconSciously, heavy amount OF
indebtedness to the old jest books for some OF
their newest and driest stories. There has been
recently paraphrased and calmly appropriated
BY Mark Twain an anecdote OF Scotchman
who enters an eating house on Holborn hill
and calls for penny loaf. Then he says tEas
he has changed his mind, and that he VIII
have pennyworth Of beer instead. This pro-
cess he repeats twelve times, and he is then
going on his way, rejoicing aud full OF beer,
when the cookshop keeper demands payment
for his beer. II gave you penny loaf for each
mug of beer" answers the cauny Scot. But
you have not paid for the loayes,"
continues the incensed Boniface. But
had them not" replies the Scot This story
is to be found in an old cheap book published
late in the seventeenth century; and it is very
probably survival of some ned9vaI joke
current among the schoolmen, since its humor
hinges on q false premiss in logic. For the rest
the original Jest may be one OF Julius Caesars
collection of apophthegms, the loss of which
Bacon, in the introduction to his own ''ante
Joe Millerisms," so patheticaly deplores.
There is nothing new under the sun-especial-
ly in the matter of jokes.