Litchfield enquirer., 1881-09-15
CLIPPINGS.

that The Post should giveit away Chat it goes fishing. Sunday. AF A -4s
 Two hundred millions of eucumbers are pro- duced in New York state annually. No won- der that there is the saying current A New York mannever loses his grip. YYw
 IA Cpcinnau paper says that the ,politest young man going is resident of that city. He took of his hat to talk to young lady through the telephone.
 ida,Lewis has saved. two brass band per- formers from drowning. She never discrim- mates against mans calling when he is in distress.
 The revised New Testament takes sshelp out of some passages and "foo" from at least dozen familiar places. The new version seems likely to comfort a good many people in one way or another.
 A Detroiter dreamed that he had died and was banishedto Satap's sultry kingdom, and says that be found mapy earthly customs in vogue there. About every man he met asked: ''Is it hot enough for your"
 The Cincinnati milkmen have adopted 6 resolution to the effect that milkmeng should euue1VOT O cSt6olicu fcputotiou Aol uouCSey. Yet the talk of new waterworks in Cincinnati goes on just the same.
 Inquirer What is the most common re- lief used for a boil? The most common is profanity. Kicking the dog, abusing your falni)R and getting into "a lawsuit, with your neighbor, are reliefs also used.
 A dispatch from Washington states that one IL AL xt~ kDwto fiaas so-in,oly iii s-e-. o-vt -v' fhio is the nrst appearance of this dreadful malady at the na- tional capital. Let us hope for the best.
 An extreme agony is for young lady to add to her toilet large sunflower at her belt. The occult signifcation of this is, '1 always turn toward the scn-ef some rich man." Isn't there a touch of the intense about this2 .i.
 The manner in which Connecticut courts and iuries are run has provoked criticism from every state in the Union. A man who com mts murder in that state has got to own it and prove, it before jury will believe it.
 When Methodist preacher of any promi- hence in this state does or says anything worthy of note, half the papers in the com monwealth make local of it and say, "Rev So-and-so, formerly of this city" Such is one benefcent feature::ef the itinerant sys- tenn.
 The Norristown HeIald, The Oil City Der rick and The Newton, Mass, Republican si. multaneously pitch into our beloved Brother B Riggs of the Meridens Recorder.ga Now Riggs sisn 'teuehS bad fellow, after all. He would have made an immense sheep shearer, with his faculty for scissoring.
 II some people could buy common sense, decency and other desirable qualities canned as they do corn, peas and tomatoes, they might be able to get along and make as good an, impression in their intercourse with the world, as they do upon the stomachs of their guests when they give fashionable dinners.
 A young widow has married again. An old friend of the family reproaehes her discreetly. II am sure, my dear," he esays gently, ''that you have not chosen as wisely as you might have done; had you poor dear husband been alive he would never have let you make such match" -rn}.4D
 The following is copy of the Commons amendments to the amendments made by the lords to the amendments made by the com. mont to the lords amendments, <andcommons' reasons for disagreeing to certain of the said lords amendments: The commons propose to amend. the amendment made by the lords to the amendment made by the commons to the lords amendment in page 3, line 5, by leaving ont. etc. # s.3 .eRl 7s1Cs r.E z
 THEM DAMNED GREEN APPLES TT rFq His mother heard h,m sob and cry, k& And springing from her bed,
 In robe of night up stairs she flew,
 To where he slept oerhead.
 She found her boy all doubled up,
 And wound up in the bedding.
 Ana copions tears a-shedding,
 -.sWhat is it darling 2rsTsl me dear"
 He tried his sobs to smother,
 And manageable gasp out these words.
 ''rhem- -darned- -apples-mother."
 He was grave and reverend college pro- lessor, and he was enjoying the air on one of the wharves. ''Do you catch many mackerel this year?" he asked of a hardy fisherman. "Well" the son of Neptune replied, i've seine some. Pardon, young man," exclaimed the amanSof letters, i've mean we. saw saw some. ' ''Not by hornful," replied the fisherman. "Who ever heard of saving fish? We split ! 'em sir, we split 'en,, but We never saw 'em. ' The man from the college seemed mystified. He turned daway and sighed at the ignorance of the times. s .4 4--- xN ~
 She poked her head in at the office window of the village postmaster, and innocently ob. served: 'I expected g. letter from Arthur to day. What do you suppose was the reason the federal official sharply responded, 'I don't know. but perhaps he was engaged in writing to another woman last night" It happened, unfortunately for the postmaster, that the lady who sought the information was niece of the congressman for that district, and the next month his official head rolled in the basket. The county organ of the administration an. nOnncedthe change in anarticle headed, "Civii service reform moves grandly on." h ry ( FROM THE DANBURY NEWS :F csa asE .
 Cassimir Boinay is the stirring title of a Canaan man who might be expected to dash from a precipice instead of falling from load Of hay, as he really did. g.. S5 t'.Ss 1
 The Bartletts had their reunion the other day, and it was largely attended sof, course, as the Bartletts are socfal lot, generally going in pears.
 Mir. Sjobers, of Bridgeport has invented . sewing machine, but with view to facilitat- ing call for the same has assigned his inter- est to an easier named man.
 MT. Perry's theme in New Milford pulpit, last Sunday evening was, "Wbat Will Bring Great Joy to This Community ?" The aver Iage New Milfofder was very much disappoint. ed to learn that the answer was not an advance in the price of tobacco. rkEsSs1 &SEGE &s~s As 6GEsI
 A man from the country was arrested in Bridgeport for hitching his horse to lamp post. ' He wasn't from sDanbury, or he wouldn't have hitched it anywhere. e.-Neso MsJW1 o'--''ss. O. f-nna New Milford. or would have occupied the lamp post Himself. =
 Rev. c. Hammond. of Bolton, is made of the right stuff. He was out berrying when he fell into an old we'll and broke his ankle. Instead of going to the White Mountains for four weeks he remainedxin the field until he filled the pail. The next Sunday he hobbled into his pulpit and preached Mir. Ham, mond's love for the gospel is equalled only by his fondness for berries.
 Ig Nell-known gentleman had occasion, few Sabbaths ago, in a case of emergency. to send his son for pound of sugar. Thinking Ehe might be accommodated at a neighhoring