The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1881-04-09
CREAM OF OUR EXCHANGES

Dead locks-False hair.
Bosom compsnious-Studs.
An early rye, sir-A whisky cocktail
A sheet aud pillow case party-Bedbugs.
-r,s knurly apple that catches the worm.
Anew way to pay old dcbts-Take the cash
ADA pay them.
ne telephone has developed an entirely new
sshool Of beilo-cuiion.
This love lies dreaming, what show Is there
fss getting any truth out OF her when che is
awake.
"He DOCTOR" said old Chawbacon, speaking
Of . young practitioner. why. be could not
cure ham"
tits proposed 10 take OF the tax on matches,
which will be rough on the clergymen.
The South ought 10 be satisfied. The North
49, gone half way. That 10. the republican par.
u has gone over to Malone.
Bob Ingersoll says the chief use Of vice pres.
tdout IL to stand around and wait for o funeral.
When Tommy puts o piece Of JohnnycAks In
hs pocket for iunch he cslls It an Indian reser
walton.
cchurL was Q"'e o"he UP W "s 'o''Ps'"
Soo ieast ~ oos'on. ~ "A' h'Rn''""eu 'o'' W
0en"'|e"'e'''
Domestic animals are supposed 70 DC dumb,
get VIC have seen several dogs In Syracuse that
we're remarkable tall curs.-Syraeu@ Times.
The snow. bound drummers ut Rockford gave
Atheasrical exhihi'ion 10 crowded mousse. IL
~' ."
N.'"'o' '"'s' ,.,
Do'es ianguagc' he "s' p'ooao'y ''eu ""o'"'
ID down for something he has said.
wHoLRsAlr OBITUARY POEM.
Fs,l MANY n maid has toyed with Kerosene,
And sailed 10 glory 10 g"rge ',I ARE
IA s"yn "roniscupns thrnuvb The desert mir.
9Th b;s nen who make The most noIs. In The
ward 1t Is the political stump speaker aud the
1oier maker-N u Frayane'
20 for the trusting DAYS of youth " sings the
Yoet 10 the En,easo 1''Jae' ,o. " ~. We ~
sem NJ emitting Htrot Free p,ss,.
SEQ, ,, ,.,u s s.. ,..,L.,
% -. ~, ..,,.,.a,,.,L 4, ,,o,v,,y u..,h..
10 hours and - minutes, and will do II again
fer go. Some months ago the writer walkeu
Svom We'd ron IN Ottawa-lO mijes- on the rnIl.
80. l., an .,,,,,,.a r,. ,.,h,, so ,o,. -,
so0"' !" =" ''i""s' INV waning "A' "'"' V"
% empty coal car.
III. ,;,h,,,,y rod. sw.., v,r,. shoo,a his.
Col nnintsa .,r,;ght srac,inv.
Drauinr ~, s,,.rL.-y., an, m fr..
NJ hsrm.a tv ih.,r a,,r.rtjnv
\
II Ia paid that VeDnor keeps one secretary AT
work writing out his weather predictions. and
no, ,,,,.,,.d
Univ d,n,t vou trv Carter,s Iit,,e Liver pilIsYl
They srs positive cnr- for all the disorders pro.
oocoo oS oad hVer'--Mendofa reporter
We'll, Cap, when we yet TO DC as DAD liver as
Jou used u De. wen Try them
There is a hog in Ohio which Ia fifty years old. |
This must be Ancient Greece.-Punk. There 10 II
bottle OF spirits In Kentucky that Is one hundred
and sevcnty.four years old. This must 9 an.
Client Rum -AsdrarS' Afsericdn Quee". The stop |
PER To that bottle must be ancient Corr. |
A French chemist has discovered a way to pro- |
duce thunder storms. long hair on the coat
collar, Of different color from what 1t should
b., will produce thunder storms, though the
Preachmsn has probably got different method.
.
n, hiuah,rS am s;p',,n,
De wild ducks am hyin'.
De gandors am sighin',
AID de big bunk" man he am sho,n' bis baud.
De muds CROWN deeper,
An thunders comm,
An dc possun comes ont OF hIs log for u soc;
De warm rains iallin',
De spring calf am bawlin',
en- do whitewashin' season has opened fur me.
Lin" Ain Hbe Ctuo.
MENDOZA was All TORE up iaSt week ny u ire
Dsndous sensation. In the midst OF smallpox
fright, when everybody was getting vaocinnted, |
Il hecame noiseJ about that "A Young and talent.
-t
% FOCAL physician WAS coming mohey ny Naeci
ssting cllVss! II was not, however, damaged
vasi tha, c,us.d the excitement The ucalyc,"