The Portland daily press., 1881-01-29
THE PRESS.
lBelgravia
The Reduced Dinner Party.
BY JAMES PAYN.

lutely brilliant, that the weather is not as it
used to be, and particularly that the winters
are not the winters that they remember in
their childhood. The fact being, that at
that period of their life, the making OF a
snor man was an event of Importance and
sticks in the memory; whereas, at present,
though they may have the opportunity of
making snow man, it passes by without
notice (sinee they have given up the prac-
tice, or, living in Pail Mall, they find the
police object to it), and hence they fancy
that it does not occur. Another thing which
they regard as an unparalleled phenomenon,
is fog. Last Christmas day, for example,
which in TRUTH was in London, much more
like Christmas eve, and la'e one, these
good folks We're eXclaiming everywhere
"Did YOU ever see such weather. The
observation was SO far pertinent that there
was nothing else to see, but as aserious asser-
ton implying a prodigy, or as contribu-
ton to meteorological science. the remark
was of no great value. | have myself seen
or rather felt--much thicker fogs. l re-
member November one, twenty years ago
in which, as the night drew on, ''you could
not see your hand" even if it had white
kid glove on; an addition to the familiar
phrase that occurs to me because | was at
that time young Though never frivolous)
and in the habit of wearing them.
Ny wife and had just set up housekeep-
ing and were giving, as ill luck would have
it, little dinner or that evening. 1t was
party, including our two selves, of fourteen
quite social event with us-and my wife
THAT is, my first wife, poor dear) was quite
nervous about it. Man-selfish man-knows
nothing of such anxieties; he goes to his
business, or what he calls his business, in
the morning; drops in at his club in the af-
ternoou; and comes home just in time to
dress, as though nothing in particular was
about to happen. But woman-lovely but
solicitous woman-has to look after things
At10o'clock started for the City, having
done all that could reasonably be expected
of me, in looking out the wine; Pommerey
Brut, for Uncle Milston, who could only
drink champagne as dry as himself, and
even then it disagreed with him; a more gen.
erous sort for Tiffin, the indian Colonel, and
| may add, for his wife, also, who took that
liquor freely and looked all the better for it.
Appearances, however, are iilusory, and re-
port may be correct that assigns the Widow
Clicquot's vintages as one of the causes that
hurried her from society to the Elysian
Fields. There were also, if remember
Alright, some Curacao for young Hectic of
the Guards, who could drink little else
poor fellow, even then, and had a tendecy to
confine his eating to picked walnuts.
At 1915 a telegram arrived from my un-
Gle. 1.-The state of the weather and my own
incipient bronchitis will make my appear
ance at your dinner table tonight, dear
Helen, of courses. out of the question: The
blow was a severe one, for the party had
been asked to meet the old gentleman, from
whom we had great (but just) expectations,
and it would now be necessary to give an
other. Worst of all, in my wife's eyes, for
the poor dear was superstitous, was that
hto Iafantinn 5xar .,rt<r
ton was embarrassing, for one could scarce
ly ask any one but an old friend at SO short
notice. People have notion, difficult to
explain away, that they are invited to fill up
a vacancy at the last moment. In Paris one
could have engaged Qudtorzieme-a gentle
man who makes it his business to supply
such DEFICIENCIES; but we were not in Paris,
bat Though on such a day it was hard to
say where we were) in London. A man
with grown-up family has only to add a
son of his own to the dinner table, but our
offspring at that time was limited in extent
aDd tender in years; we had but one child,
aged two, and that was a girl.
My wife, however Though she had in
formed me that she was quite prostrated by
the previous cares of hospitality, was equal
to the emergency. She suddenly remem-
bered the existence of Mr.. Percy Litton,
which ii was her ordinary practice to ig-
more. He was young gentleman of no par
ticular position in the world, and was un-
derstood to gain a precarious existence by
periodical literature. Some people thought
thought him fippant. He was diner-out
that is to say, he was glad to do so when
asked-and had reputation for anecdote.
1t was said that he wrote down the names
of every one he met at table. and also the
stories he told them, so as to guard himself
against repetition. fI don't know about that,
but know he was wont TO write down the
heads of the anecdotes themselves, for he
once left a list of them under Our dining
roomvchairs. Atsuch pinch as this, how
ever, even Mr.. Litton was better than no.
body; it would never do to have one empty
seat, like Banquo's and no one to take do sn
old lady Wallop; hnd it was almost certain
that this gentleman would be disengaged.
He'll jump at it, was, in fact, my wife's
reflection. So she sat down and dispatched
an invitation to him on rose-colored note
paper, and in a style to match.
'MY DEAR Mr.. LITToN:-I know you are
overwhelmed with invitations, and that there
is only the faintest chance of your being disen-
gagged this evening. Buta telegram has just
arrived stating that ono of our expected guests
is ill. l don't say could yon fill his place
for you could ill anybody's place to admira-
tion-but will you put us under the very great
obligation of Joining our little party? The long
existing friendship between my husband and
yourself is my only excuse for sending you so
short an invitation. Pray say yes by bear
err
And she signed herself "very faithfully,v
with the very underlined. ,ssiJ< 63ioI
As my wife expected, Mr.. Litton had great
pleasure in extricating our dinner party
from the casualties incident to the number
thirteen; and once more she had a mind at
ease. knew better than to disturb it when
L got home by recital of the difficulties I
met with on the way; but they had been
very, severe. The fog in the City was like
wool, and not white wool, either. l came
with an acquaintance on foot as far, as
Charing Cross, with our arms interlaced,
and one of us looking one way and one the
osher, like modern Janus, whenever we
came to crossing. A single passenger (un-
less he squinted1 was certain to be run, or
rather walked over, (for everything went at
a foots pace) from one side or another. Our
parting was quite pathetic, like a (midnight)
farewell between two friends who never ex-
pect to see each other again; and indeed who
didn't see each other, even then. He
plunged into the ''sightless road'' for the
railway station, and Immediately afterward
a spectral van passed-as it seemed to me
over him. heard no shrek, but then the
fog mufled every sound. M
For myself, l lived near St. James street,
scarce half mile away, but progression was
"a mere matter of feeling" and when you
stood still you were bumped against by
every passer-by. The only way of self-pro-
lection was to carry your umbrella well un-.
der your arm, and when it came against
anything soft, such as the eye of human
being, to exclaim: snow, then, where are
you coming to?' Before he recovered him
self 1t was ten to one that another passen-
ger had taken your place and received the
of the victim. The plan, how
ever, had its perils, and was glad to feel
myself gently rubbed las though it had been
a catl by the axle of passing omnibus
bound for Piccadilly, into which 1 got.
Though very fastidious at that date, was
not, from the circumstances of the case,
under the least apprehension of being seen
in that humble vehicle. Whether anyone
else was in it or not, l could not say at start
ing, but presently it ran against lamp post,
and from the number of heavy bodies thrown
upon my lap and legs should conclude it
had good many passengers. In Piccadilly
l found link-boy, whom attached to my
self by the offer of a shilling (which he put
in his mouth, and who honorably saw me
home.
As stood on the doorstep and felt for
the knocker, l said to myself: eff anyone
comes out to dine on such night as this,
he must have bare larder at home But 1
sslln 4as,.