The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1881-01-06
PITH AND POINT.

ElIH AMI tVINls
sAip he, Lot us be one." And she
was won.
CAN man intoxicated by music b
said TO l,e Air-tightS
WHAT m irAscible father says "Aa
the twig h bent, the boy h inclined 10
shoot out ut the door"
JOSH RILnISas "Natur luvs plum
i shc doesn't sho never would have
mado munky."
LAR0R mouths nrc now fashionable
among women. They Aro worn open, of
course, ns heretofore.
A DARBY who WINS atopping 10 wish
his hands in ditch din Z notice the pts-
cnliAr actions Of goat Just behind 70
when he scrambled ont III the water. and
was asked how il happened, hc answered:
!" j dunno 'xactly. hut pcars.l m II Dc
ahore kinder h'istcd and frowd mo-"
"WR don't want MI this, We don't
want II, !" said y solicitor, To \ volMhls
old lady III Tho witness box; ut II Ii.
relevant" But tho Witness paid no
heed. aud talked on, finishing with,
"There, you've got Il. whether you
want il or not aud II isn't irrcverent,
either /"
A usMAER oi the North Carolina Log.
islaturo, dining Ut Raleigh hotel, saw
pod Of red pepper on dlsh near at
hand. He thought il WIS new kind q
fruit and took q bite. Tho tears
stramed down his checks A he put tho
pol down, saving: dash you. lay
there and cool"
"FArnxR, !. sail the elder heir, "is il
proper to say wo is rich,' or We am
richs'" Tho old man worked carefully
down into the hollow VI his boot under
tho inatep, remaining long time in
thoughtful meditation, and then slowly
replied: "Wcll, / should any Il would
come higher 10 the truth to sas w haint
rich"
"THwAsHrNa by steam" mnrmured .
fond mother, "A shc glanced at MI Arti-
Gle in an agricultural paper. "MhAt
cit.ups they do have nowadays. II hal
had one az those steam thrashcrS for my
four boys. my arms wouldn't have lssen
as rheumaticky ~ they arr to-day. and
she drcamily thought 1t the past ~ Il
might have boon.
A FAsuloNARLK Galveston young man
thinks he il great ~ An elocutionist.
His strong card il reading the ghost
seeue in Shakespeare After hearing
him recitc. an elderly gentleman MAS
asked what he thought II him. "Wcll,.
said tho old gentleman, II think he
ought b have given up the ghost long
ago. "-GaieestoM N.teS.
A RECEIPT for making soup Take \
pail Of water and wash il clean. then
boil il till il 10 brown On both sides |;
pour ia one hcaN : when tho bean begins
I 10 worry prepare ~ simmer. II soup
won't simmer it's toe rich pour III morn
water dry the water with 4 towel he-
fore you put il in (: tho dryer the water
the sooner it browns, Serve hot.
] RrcokpER-" What excuse have you
| for climbing over into this geGtlcMaM's
!, garden and tresnASsinE IN his proper
I vy" Prisoner-"Thc hest excuse in
/ the world. Judge. went over by mis-
| take" allow SOP" Swell. You scSs,
Thought those oranges in his garden
werc sweet oranges, hut after had tried
'eM / found they were the hitter kind,
10 You see l went over BY mistake. ~
| Galveston Nescs.
A sAp.Ioox,sa man went into Bur
/ lington drng~storM .Can you give
| me-" he asked, something that will
| drive from my mind the thoughts a
sorrow and hitter lNcollections Aud
the druggist nodded aud put him mp q
li,tlc dose u qNinine. wormwood aud
rhuharl, EPSON ssAlts anil dash 1T eva.
tor.oil. and gave il 10 him and Cor air
months the man couldn't think 1t any.
thing ill tho world except new schemes
ior getting the taste out of his mouth
i kMSslefte.
i fNs AreAea pAnss The ssssaee coa'sN
fer iawarA pAas the aecssNs
81 Hat meme can hS eSpertMess eaew
uf the AalNlcNs cN4cocseF,
"Ia rwxRR ! letter here in i scented
envelope for my wifct'' he asked tn
Postmaster. while the green tire from
his cyes made the Office look like \ leaf,
forest. "Yes, sir, answered the Peat
master. q no handed il out Tho jeal
Qua man tore il open Al once. when. |,
and heholdl il waA the millinery hill II
olOA The end.
AysxsEr, akN cx~t Il mall.
TAe sAaf~sy tcrM teeasss.
And = daiAty valet caat tail
N odd ArSeAapeA gsAs0ss
~ arAN a IN rSlaNs lnAek
onk1s cosy ~ attain
0AtWhAt . lN&sAess ~. 40ca aAcA,
II ~ |: - AsAiAl
.-@~--~-----~----~~~--~~~