Knoxville daily chronicle. [volume] (Knoxville, Tenn.) 1870-1882, 1881-06-14
+ WIT AND HUMOR.

An infant is the primer Of humanity
bound in more rocker.
A mule is no physician, but he we'll
understands the art of hecling.
There are more fashions in the city,
but more stiles in the country.
What tree most resembles the re-
mains of fine Havana cigar? A white
ash.
Said an old woodchopper: "Whcn-
ever want to find q chip of the old
block, Just ak the block"
One difference between sailor and
Snowman is that sailor likes Tight
house AMI a Snowman does not.
mo, ma'am," said a grocer to an aD-
plicant for credit; 81 wouldn't trust
my own feelings"
A Philadelphia antiquarian who
married a young widow, says she is
the most interesting relict he has ever
found.
rWrite foregoeson your states" said
teacher to the Juvenile class i'll SPELL
ING, ana little girl wrote, 600, go, go,
CO." ...
A man has invented chair that
can he adjusted to eight hundred diff
ferent positions. l is designed for
boy to sit in when he goes to church.
GLOW do you define 'black as your
hat'?" slid schoolmaster to Ole Of
his pupils. Darkness that may be
felt" replied the youthful wit.
Nothing will please girl SO much
as the information that rival, who IS
trying to rob her Of her young man,
has got pimple coming on her nose.
ANYBODY can play the violin, but
it takes years Of practice to so play
that YOUR neighbors can live the lives
of consistent Christians.
When a female contributor to q
monthly magazine speaks of 1.-THE most
delicious, delcctable. enhancing and
distracting of all innocent lndul-
gences." she means kiss.
The Arab horse is not broken until
his fourth year. That's where they
differ from tcacups. But then Arab
horses arc not washed by the average
| kitchen girl.
Always manage to live so is to leave
something at death. a man OF ninety
! eiUht wears of aye married the other
day because lie thought it far better
to leave a widow than nothing.
A little boy being told by his moth
or to take powder she had prepared
for him, ''Powder, powder" said he,
putting on roguish smile; "mother,
Iain't gum"
+ A provincial contemporary has the
following: "a deaf man NAMED Tan
was run down by a passenger train
and killed, OH Wednesday morning.
He was INJURED in a similar way about
year ago."
Women with banged hair are de-
| ceitful. They cover up their show of
intellect, and man will marry one of
them, expecting to have good ma
| tured fool for wife; but she'll turn
out smarter than chain lightning, and
make him dance all the household
hornpipes.-Neoc Hare7a Il geSter.
1t was at the theatre. The perform
ance was about to begin, when one OF
the two strangers looked all round,
and said "Bill, where is the dress
circle?" Bill glanced up towards the
third gallery AMI replied: Il expect
up yonder; / see fellow taking off
| his coat"
A humorist leaps gayly upon the
step of an omnibus, and cries cheer
fully to the conductor, "ls the ark
full?" -''No, slr," replies the jovial
conductor. ave have kept seat for
YOU. What! no! within there! loom
J for the monkey p
! "Auntie," asked a lovely brunette of
sweet seventeen of her cross tempered
chaperonc, an ugly old maid OF sour
sixty, "why are you like an engine "
Il don't know" snapped auntie; be
cause" sadly answered the beauty,
"you always scatter the sparks When
ever you appear" =