Centre Democrat. [volume] (Bellefonte, Pa.) 1848-1989, 1881-01-20
he KNEW HOW TO TRAVEL.
A Railroad Incident I'm the Life of g
Humorist.

W - "NaN AANAiiAJ 'AohR W
Putnam, Connecticut. when the new
man got on. think he got on at Wal
pole. He carried valise, blanket
rolled up in n shawl strap, cane, an
umbrella and book. He wore plaid
suit and silk hat, and polo cap was
rolled up in his ulster pocket. In one
of them, that Is, for they were legion.
He carried his wax matches in a little
pocket on his right cuff, his little case
OF gentle cigarettes in a little pocket
Just below the handkerchief pocket; his
card case in little pocket near tho right
hip, then there were three other unas-
signed pockets on the right breast and
two other mysterious pockets on the left
side of his ulster. Then think there
were two pockets on the back of that
wonderful garment, just below the
shoulders, but | will not be positive.
His ulster was belted in with belt that
might have done duty on the big pulley
in saw mill. He parted his beard in
the middle, combed his hair low on his
forehead, was very broad across his
back, and had a voice as big as his
ulster. He paused beside me and looked
down at me.
This seat occupied, sirt"
And he said sir like regular army
officer, with an impressive pause be-
tween It and the rest of the sentence. 4
pause just about rs long rs the regular
army officer usually occupies in saying
bless you," or words to that indirect
effect.
"No, sir,"I said, timidly. and then
with feeble attemp: at cordiality, |
added, "sit down, SIR"
Sir" said the new man. II intend
to Ieenerally find seat if the car is
crowded, or Itell people what think
about it,"
And then he sal down, partly on the
scat and partly in my lap, crushing me
up against the window. lie put his silk
hat in the rack aad the polo cap down
over his manly brow; he stood his cane
and umbrella up in my end of the seat
and set his valisa upon my feet. Then
he folded his arms so that one of his
great elbows jPmmcd itself into nv
cheek. and T. en- he looked comfortable.
Once in a while he would suddenly feel
in his pocket for something, and every
time he did so, that elbow went cruising
up and down my ribs ike street
crusher.
In one Of these sudden disturbances |
ventured, with feeble effort at timid
sarcasm, to "hQpe tha! ] didn't incom-
mode him?"
mo. sir" said the new man, with
considerable italics; no, sir; I'd let
you know very quickly If you did, sir.
I'd tell you what | thought about it."
Presently he took out his little cigar
elte case, and a neat little meerschaum
holder and made preparations for the
comfort OF smoke, but the brakeman
touched bis shoulder and told him he
must 90 forward 10 the smoking car.
Isn't this the smoking carr" yelled
the new man, nearly grinding me to
powder 81 he turned 10 face the bake
man.
"No, sir;" replied that functionary,
very airi,y; "this is a ladies' car"
Well. by jove," said the new man,
81 took it for the smoking car, and not
very nice one NJ that, 1t looks like a
smoking car. and the people IN II like
tho people | generally lind in a smoker ="
And then he grcund around toward
me again and said:
I'm an old traveller, and when /
don't like anything I tell what I think
ahoutit. That's where you'll ger orally
| find me-"
| wanted 10 say something smart. but
somehow or other | couldn't think of
any thing very appropriate just then.
so | held my peace, and nerved my
wrath against not only the new man
but the fat passenger, whom ! could
hear behind me making pleasant re
marks about my position. By-and-bye
We stopped at some station where there
/ " ~ - kit1e NOhIoAN nAhEf NhItlHks anu
the new man was one OF the first passen
gers to rush out, saying he would have
box scat or they'd hear what he
thought about it.
We'll, / guess he ct It. He was
climbing up over the forward wheel.
roaring at the apathetic driver to take
his valise, when the train started and
the noise frightened the horses, and they
made plunge. The new man stepped
on the wheel and was thrown headlong
on the ground, swapping bis umbrella
and cane in the spokes of the wheel rs
he fell. His hat rolled of, his valise
fell in front OF the wheel, which passed
over II, and two or three men, making a
rush for the horses, stepped on his hat.
/ couldn't get my window up in time to
cheer, but the sad passenger got his
head out. and ms the train moved off the