The Dillon tribune. [volume] (Dillon, Mont.) 1881-1941, 1881-04-09
Wak:n. up tho Wro.i, Man.

Bill Nvc, in the envcr, ,<,al Tribune
says: One night, about l,:3o Judge,
hcar.l some one step along to the window
of my boudoir. Hearing it at that time OF
night, rcckoncd that something crooked
was going ON, SO slid out OF bed and got
my great Llood->earcher and liver-purititr.
with the new style of center fire and car
fridge ejrctor, and slid up to the window
calculating to shove tonic into whoever
it might BE- That was picknick.ns about my
claim. looked out SO as to get gosi
idea of where wanted to sink on him, and
then thought before manglcd him I'd
ask if he'd any choice which part Of his vi
tails he wanted to preserve, SO | sings out
to him:
"I.ook out below there, rard, for I'm go
ing to call the meeting to order in min
ute. Just throw up your hands il
you please, and make the grand
lailing sign OF distress, or I'll have to 'nu
tiatc YOU. lust show me about where you
would like to have the fatal wound, and bc
s,rv about it, too, because I've got my
brief costume on, and the evening air is
chill"
lie didn't understand me, appars ntly, tor
a gurglng laugh wcllcd up from below,
and the part, sings back:
iiullo. Fatty, is that YOU: Just 'ookin' to
see ii you'd fired up yet. You know ] was
t. come round and flag you tsetond seven
wasn't out. Well, I've h.en down to the
old mans to see what was on the board.
Three is two hours late and four is report
ed on time. There's two scvcn's out and
two sections Of nine. Skinnyll take out
first seven, and Shortyll pull her with IL,
It's YOU and me tor second seven, with
Timber Jim on front end and Frenchv tc
hold down the culnn,sc. First five is ursid.
down in was',-out this side OF O.alalla
and old hat !. his.na,ne that run rs got
lis crown sheet Caved in, and telescope
his headlight into the New Jerusalem
You know the little Swcde that used Il
run extra for llo:hox in the cmisrant fo
Il While: Well he's firing ,SS, and he's I'M
der three flats and :: coal-t:.nk, with a bean
across his coupler. and his system is nor'
or less relaxed. Hes gone to the swec
subsequently,, too. Rest If the boys arr
more or less dc,noraliztd and >id..-track.t
for repairs. Now YOU don, monkey aroune
much, for il YOU don't loom up like >i>-'''t
and 20 but on the track. the old man'il siv'
YOU time check, and the Oriental .ran<
bounce"
:! Then slo~l: uncorkcd the great h'oo'
> purifier, and, moving t" the h"li, ht
/ where the >il,crv moonbcams could touc
up my dazzln: outlines. said:
"Par,lnci, am pleased and gratitied t
It have met v"u. | don't know The first dan
busted thin: YOU have said to me but tina:
my mi>frtunr. | am Il plain min,r al
J, NV home i in t!,: digestive apparatus &
tn. Garth, but for professional melody {
chin you c,rt,in take the cake. ion Il
30 take tn, rakc-h.,kc, ;,nA what cold p
there is left OH the dump. My n'mt
Woott;ck Williams. discovered the l.
y vcri,., llo,nct up on Slippery Ellnin. I'll
proud to know YOU. Keep right OF gc'ti''
~ mere and more familiar with your protr
sion. and by aud bv. when nobody can III
d.r>t,nd YOU, YOU will bc promoted and r
ID spcrtcl, and vcu will at last be a sleerin
car conductor ans: rr:r in the hishc