Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1881-07-01
IN A NUTSHELL.

There are $50 Chinese children in Il
San Francisco public schools.
''My wife," remarked Fitznoodle, ''i
fairly crazy over the spring fashions
She's got the delirium trimmings"
By the desire of the late King o
Prussia his heart was inferred in {
heart-shapen marble casket at the foo
OF his parents grave.
A cynical old bachelor says tha
'lovers are like armies. They get alons
well enough until the engagement be
gins.
An easy way to make hard water
soft Is this: Fill the wash boiler with
hard water, then put half teacup.
full of wood ashes into little cloth bag
let this lie in the water until that i
warm enough to use. This is worth
knowing.
Gust think Of IT," exclaimed Jones
"Pingrey's new block is one thousand
meters long" as that so?" asked Fogg
adding, "By the way, Jones, how Ions
is meter" BLAMED IF | know" said
Jones, but Judging from the distance
my gas meter covers every month il
must be immense"
"Hi! where did you get them
trowsers?" asked an Irishman of mar
who happened to be passing with re
markably short pair of trowsers. 81
got them where they grew" was the IN
dignant reply '"Then by my con.
science" said Pat, you've pulled them
a year too soon"
How wonderful are the revelations
of science. 1t has been estimated that
q boy can hear call to dinner though
a mile away, in thousandth part of q
second. But call to duty. Well, we
it often takes Il lifetime for him tc
undertand it.
A New York lady vino in conse.
quence of a great reverse of fortune,
has been working for fashionable
milliner, says she is absolutely amazed
to find to what an extent in the days o
her wealth she was swindled in hel
bonnets and dresses.
Twenty-one princes and twenty-eight
princeses are loafing around Paris with
no visible means of support. The
princeses being poor, the impecunious
princes turn the cold shoulder to them
and go and hunt the light-headed
American heiresses.
Miss Gordon-Cummings says that a
venerable cannibal in New Zealand
whom she visited, in company with an
obese divine, stroked down and gently
prodded the reverend gentleman in a
manner painfully suggestive of Sydney
Smiths joke of "Cold curate on the
sideboard."
In Iowa, young man named Isaac
Hood committed suicide because a
young lady refused to marry him. The
coroner's inquest developed mitigating
circumstances. 1t seems that Hood
asked the young lady to marry him,
and she responded, 'Ike Hood not. y
As soon as Hood saw the point, he fled
with the result stated. The young lady
has not been arrested.
Captain John NJ. Gill of Pekin, KY,
owns one of Santa Annals wooden legs.
During the Mexican war Captain Gill
then young man, was q member OF
the Fourth Illinois regiment, and
fought in the battle of Cerro Gordo
Santa Anna was on the field at the
opening of the engagement, being in Il
carriage drawn by six mules. When
he realized that the Yankees were vic
torious and that he was in danger oi
capture, the Mexican general pulled
off his wooden leg left it in the carriage,
and mounting mule, in light flying
order escaped. Captain Gill was the
first American to reach the carriage
and thus obtained the curious trophy
cts wicked, it's shameful, it's dis.
grace to society, this flirting with mar,
ried women" remarked middle-aged
lady with spectacles and sharp Wis
sage, to her travelling companion. He
was nice looking man, and replied BY
saying.
"Ah, then you are not married."
NO." she said tenderly, moving q
little closer to him, and gazing at him
through her glasses with a adie-away ex
preston, like that of setter puppy
with the distemper. "No."
Then he asked her if she wouldn't
like some peanuts, and left the Car to
get them; but he didn't come back
again.