St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1881-01-08
ALL SORTS.

r1, nn cnmnlajnt :; everybody is sa1'sn'"'
, vo,,p lady rebukingly asks, tH;ahtf H1,tf
is the worse tolace tight, or 10
We give it up-We never iae'"'
Grace,-"I am going to see rI"'"b ~ Gbar-
1av Have YOU any message - hat
iotte-"I wonder how You can 'is,. isua"-
"'e"'''"' ~'''' Scientific Amerlcah'
In answer to an inquiry, as 10 l, NV
,onD ~;rls should be courted, the lep}H
WAS that they should be conrIeu W. ara.
in the same way that short ohes ''''
in feeling manner.
After discussing the parable OF ,nnI Wy
wheat and the tares, the SUNDAY. s sI"uoa oa
how was asked. what isa tare. me au,
piled: "a hole in your pantaiool's '''"'~
by nail.'
Though her name was Angelica Joi1,
dan she iudiscrectly used Kerosene u.
to kiudle a fire. Thereupon an tha'
was angelic Of her passed over 9oio"''
aud what was material fetha'ne"'
Anew England tombstone bears inc
following inscription
What grief mama endured .
And vet that GRIEF was softened, for
Para he was insured
"Tll take the case before announcer
indcc and let him have a guess at "naL
the law is,N said disappointed young
LAWYER in Arkansas WHOM his first case
was decided against him.
sIs it possible, Miss, that yon do noG
know the names OF your best frlen4s
Possible ! Why, of course it is. l 90
not even know what my name may 10
a year or so hence
A tramp woke up suddenly with enid
sweat standing III great beads upon MS
forehead. whats the matter r asked
his companion. "a frightfnl dream
I drcamt was at work - II told you
that that last miuce pic would give you
a horrid nightmare"
TEey tell of a cultured divine in Bos~
ton who, instead OF saying: "ihe col
siyely remarks: "'rhc accumulation OF
moneys will now ensuc,' But II Phila-
delpllia Clergyman, n great athlete and
lover of sports, forgot hiinself once ana
said Here endeth the iirst inning
Let US pray
"My friend Gontrnn tells ne that he
always make it rule to leave the salon
as soon as he said witty thlng-it has
such good effect. 1T would nave
much better effect said Il lady kindly ii
he were to take his leave before he sald
n good thing" "Ah, all, why p BE
cause then lie wouldn't stay so long"
Moriartv. who was assaulted by
Schmidt, appeared against him in 4 San
Francisco police court. Did he have Il
uroyocation to strike you?" the justice
asked. ale may have had something
of the kind eonsayled about his person:
but it was a brick he struck me wild,
repied Morarty.- San Francisco Post.
"Where are you going7' said n
younu gentleman to an elderly one in II
! white crayat wnom he overlook n few
| miles from Little Rock. Il am going to
heaven, my son. have been on my
way for eighteen years. "Well, good
| bve, old fellow! If you have been trav-
cling toward heaven for eighteen years.
and got no nearer than Arkansas, | will
take another route"
"l'm son of a gun from California" J"
| shouted desperate with an eminuous
|
tools, after lie had swallowed seyen
! glasses of beer and blown tho froth all
! over the bar tender every load. "Yas.
/ knew you vas son of Il gun, but l
| didn't know vat State yoa vas from, y
auoth the night of the white apron.
"Mamma, where do cows get their
milk r. asked Willie, looking up from
the toaming pan of milk, which he had
been intently regarding. "Where do
you get your tears I" was the answer.
After thoughtful silence, he broke
out "Do the cows have to be spanked9"
His mother was putting OH her slip
per again when he brushed away the
tears, and atfectionately carcssing the
place that smarted worst, asked be-
tween his sobs, IN ma, DIDO you k-know
why Pm like little M-mary.n She
looked at him crossways without speak
ing, but he answered it "B-because |,
l bad o l-l-little LAM"
USCoMPROMIsIN G.-The doctors
daughter.-"I declare, you're dreadful
fanatic, Mrs. McCizzom. | do believe
you think nobody Will be saved but you
my dear, ah whiles l hae my doobt.
aboot the minister r"-[Oskosh Chrittiar
Advocate.
Reading in the society letters from
Washington Of the beautiful Miss This
ard the handsome Miss That, suggests
the query whether ugly girls ever ap.
pear in society. Charles Lamb once
turned from the tombstones in q GENE
, terry where he was wandering when q
, child, and asked. "Mamma. where are
, the bad people buried e'-tThe Nation
l The Man Who PercOlated.
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