Litchfield enquirer., 1881-05-12

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 The archery chassTaave esH4unFceeiq5rae ticirg. and lkr eyg. .sstFrr'afl fael,gy 1ili Pi,sburs is w,rk eA+ir aaA2 ~sss~s@
 "My lord" sai.l the foretan .f an 1rist. jury. when giving in ;hp verdict; i've find the man who stolu the mare not guilty"
 In dscfhins sEe@ 6Eran, a rapsl nls,slcaf crit Sa '-TIie@ sWttt@ died Tav in g a efe E. liciouS snifocai!nI,. ike 0tc singing sweet song under the hesicl;thes, Sosss; asStf ssg EH rfs sad .'hains s s ssS Ssn ts DS".s E. iltoa.''s .o ds'epesi"s
 His supposed that when winter was going out it coili,ied with spring coming in. and the seasons were so bad ilff tltscs}pe edstha1Tit is difficult to telfP1tief from which.
 To Friends at q distance We have na ioke4He,, h l7Esf'nSslff's' < Sf' Bsinsg 'Bnyr ing Tclepnonc Shares
 ! b'sso F.,rnpics d9eis v;!|c ftat the eifizensl of fhat hanfiet find the ''iridrscence of a blush quite the comfortable lining ip ,lAe nat- ter of costume. <&S r. c.&
 "Why is it," asked a lady. 'that people e.their interest jn chilellgoing powadavs :pN aasBeeanse.thw have lost their pyiecipie,, was the 'wftty reply. ''< D. 'A ''-
 Will Hayes has written a new song, enti- lied Kiss the Baby Once for Me" After you have finished, Will, spank him two or three times for the rest Of the folks.
 An exchange publishes an article headed How ta' Teh Mad Dog" We have nothe inr n f6G 1aH hat nicate byteephone or postal card. 5 s-. z--a
 Bon- Ingefsolf has made S2O, GOO out of his lecture, on Hell. If there is no such place, Robert has made good deal of money out of nothing, and if there is, he will wish ne hadn't. .ts. .-t. 7
 A New Jersey youth placed loaded pistol in his mouth and few minutes later, with the exception that his jaws were too sore to sing, he was fully prepared to become first class angel
 The acme of politeness has been reached in Chicago, where the young men when they step on a lady's foot bow and excaim Y 'A thousand pardons. really your foot is so small that didn't see it.' e
 A Boston paper says that May is an un- lucky month for marriages" The other un- lucky months are June, July August, Sep tember, October, November, December, Jan uary, February, March and April.
 The Philadelphia News explains the differ ence between the two words frequently appli- ed to reapportionment. When your own party does it it is ''redistricting ;" when the other party does it, it is ''gerrymandering." :" >f '1
 'Amantha," he murmured, with pathos in his voice, "why do you quiver at my touch ? Why do you shrink from my embrace as the startled fawn, trembles at the rustling of the autumn leaves?" ''Ive been vaccinated," she said.
 The Zulus with COup's circus have queer names. While one of them was throwing the spears at the target in the show on Thursday and missing it every time the manager said to him, ''Damitbill step up nearer or you wont hit it all day"
 From off the running rivulet the icy chain
 And the flutter of the winglet of the dovelet
 .. is abroad: -.- sThe,quacklet of the dackletin in the brooklet ~ we can hear, N&@ s.s# .
 And the rootlet of the piglet will presently
 appear
 A Sunday school teacher in Maine, who had grown eloquent in pcturing to his little pupils the beauties of heaven, finally asked: 'What kind of little boys go to heaven ?" A lively little fnur year old boy held up his hand "Wel, you may answer" said the teacher. 'Dead ones :" the little fellow shouted.
 City belle .(meeting country aunt |: "Oh, s I'm so glad to see you! Cune and see us next week, do, for Pm going to have german on Thursday. Aunt (with severity Mot I, child. Idon't want to .see any one of the family that's gong to make fool of herself by marrying foreigner" ~
 A Aperson who was recently called.into court ] for the purpose of proving the correctnes of doctors bill was asked by the lawyer whether the doctor did not make several visits after the patient was out of danger.
 ''No," replied the witness; II considered the patient in danger as long as the doctor continued hissvisits'' s
 Tight lacng caused the liver of an Indiana woman to grow fast to the epigastrum, caus- ing her death. Ladies cannot be too careful in guarding against such calamity as this When tight facing must be indulged in, the ep igastriun should be removed and locked up in the bureau drawer for safety.e-
 The Elmira Free Press, in it's historical TS. Henry Josephs, of Pine Bluff, Ark, swal- lowed needle, and last Thursday it was picked out of saw~log in Bay City, Mich We do not pretend to account for it; it is all we can do to give the fact."- It must have been lodged in the lumbar region.
 A lady aIlghtlng from street car met an who sad to her, You appear , to be excited!'' ''So am. I had to stand up the whole way.i' Did anybody offer you seat." ''Yes, one man; but 1 declined it, thinking he would urge me to accept" And he didn't ?" 'No; the beast went on reading and never looked up again.
 q feel" said the fat passenger, as the train crossed the Ohie line, ''that am in the land of statesmen. There is the smell of a postoffice in the air. and the .low.se sweet. sound of consulate is heard in the dewy distance. l see the shadoWy forms of mar shals yet to be, and out of the dreamy gates of the impossible see sad procession of never to be supreme judges. It is dear and favored land, this grand old stepmother of presidents :"
 An old lady kept private bottle from W 'ich she refreshed herself from time to time, as she felt the need, though none of the fanii- ly knew it. One evening her daughter. ID rummaglug through the pantry for doughnuts for her beau, spied the bottle and had the cu- riosity to draw the cork and apply her nose to the aperture, at which moment the old lady hove in sight, and angrily demanded:
 ''Well, are you any wiser than you were? What do you suppose it is ?"
 Il don't know. what it is mamma, an swered the shrinking maiden, "but it smells just like Charley's moustache.
 FROM THE DANBURY NEWS.