Public ledger. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1865-1893, 1881-08-10
AN ARKANsAw BORE.
His Various Wants stated to a
faded Editor.
State Gauetto.l

Judge Bill Mozzlewood, of the Cy.
press Swamp neighboihosd, came tC
town yesterday, and called at the Ga.
zette Office. The Judge is called
Judge because he is not a Judge. lie
defies education, declaring that it is q
rascally invention brought about by
men who are trying to cheat other
people.
"I've come up for purpose, gen
lemen," he said, throwing his saddle
bags on the floor and wiping the per,
SEPARATION from his face with a handful
of clippings, which he raked up to the
horror of the editor. Yes, I've come
up for purpose" and he tore the
frontispiece of new magazine and
wiped the back of his neck. II lot
my handkerchief at heme. Say, |
want you to use your influence in get
ting me on the Garfield case. You
know when they come to try that
fellow-what's his manner Fiddle, no
Guitsr-they'll want men who hasn't
read about the circumstance. A sit
uation of that kind durin' the dull
season would fill up the gap powerful.
AS a sort of favor to the Jedge, can't
you telegraph to Congress and git me
the place? Jes' say that the Jedge
has been in the jury business for
thirty odd years, and that he
can drap on the merickS OF
a case without the least trouble.
Tell them to ask any of
the old lawyers in Little Rock and
see if they wouldn't ruther have me
on a jury than any other man livin.
Thar never has been but one time
when | was disqualified, as the sayin'
goes, and that was when my son was
on trial for KILN a man. But even
then exerted an influence for Ike
that's my boy-worried the jury pow
erful."
"Did he hang the jury2" asked the
editor, removing a newly written arti-
Gle beyond the reach OF the Judges
perspiring hands.
mo, he didn hang the jury. The
Jury hung him, but he worried EN-
nearly to death. Now, about that
other business. Do you think | can
get it, eh?" and he punched the editor
in the ribs and chuckled.
II am sorry to inform you, judge,
but the jury has been selected. We
tried to getan appointment for a man
from this State, but as there was thir-
teen men in Ohio not actively engaged
in running the government. twelve Of
them were selected. The thirteenth
man would have been put on, also,
probably, but he was sober aud out of
debt at the time"
well, said the Judge after reHec-
ting moment, 81 reckon"
Lookout" exclaimed the editor,
don't wipe your hands on my shirt.
Wait let me shut that drawer"
well, as l was sayin'--but why
do you keep your shirt here? Proper
place for EN- in your draws, eh?" and
again he punched the editor in the
ribs. But as | was sayin as there's
no chance for me on tho jury, / want
you to get me a situation here in town,
Amt thar sort OF place here whar a
man with a lot of tin horns and but.
terhy arrangements tells whenits goin'
to rain"
Eyes" said the editor, lodging,
"the United States Signal Service
Office"
They have to pay man to fool
with the horns and butterflies and
tell when thar's goin' to be a storm,
don't they2 Yes, well that's the place
for me. | don't want any horns. |
tell by the rheumatic. If thar's a
pain in my leg, thar be a stiff blow
before two days, shore; no mistake
about it. lifts goin to rain l has a
pain in my hip. If the rain ranges
round to the right, the pain, say that
was in my left hip at first, ranges
round in my right hip. If the rain
comes straight over the pain goes on
over the top of my head. Now l can
set up thar IN that ONCE Tor a dollar
day. This will save the government
a good sized pile in the course Of a
few years. Can you get me the placer
Look out, therel don't eat that
paste.
Il thought it was some of your town
fxins. Can you get me that placer
mo, sir, | can't. | can't do any
thing for you. | couldn't get any civ.
ilized work for you to do. Leave this
mutilated Office. Put down that ink.
No, it's not blackberry cordial. Yes,
go on. Don't come here any more,
No, sir, don't care If you do belong
to one Of the first families. It's one
of the last families that want repre-
scented here"
The Judge took up his saddle-bags
and went down, while the editor
unused: Three more such visits and
the publication of this journal will be
suspended"