The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1881-05-25

IN lrrepresslble impatience, Jerkln
his horses jaws out of place 'Jus
listen to that And / sat out in from
ten minutes, yelling at you to com
along, until the whole neighborhoo'
heard me ~
'Yes," acquiesced Mrs. Stiffle
with the provoking placidity whicl
no one can assume but woman
'and every time | started dow
stairs you sent me back for some
thing you had forgotten p
Mr.. Sdfiie groaned.
"rhis is too much to bear" b,
said, when everybody knows tina
was going around the world,
should just rush into the house, pu
on a clean shirt, seize my knapsacl
and fly while you would want a
least six months for preliminary
preparations, and then dwadle abou
the whole day of starting until eve
ry train had left town"
Well, the upshot Of the matter
was that the STILES put off theil
visit until the next week, and it wa:
agreed that each should get him ol
herself ready, and go down to the
train and go, and the one who failed
to get ready should be left.
The day of the match came around
in due time the train was to 90 al
1.30, and Mr.. Stiffie, after attending
to his business, went home at 12:45
"Now, then,n he shouted, "only
three-quarters Of an hour to train
time. Look sharp-a fair field and
no fayors. you know
Mr.. Stif1le ran into his room and
rushed through that, and diyed into
one closet after another with incon,
ceivable rapidity, chuckling all the
time under his breath to think how
cross Mrs. Stiilie would be when be
started OF alone. He stopped on
his way up stairs to pull off his
heavy boots to save time for the
same reason he pulled off his coat
as he ran through the dinning room
and hung it on the corner ofthe sill
yer closet. Then be jerked off his
vest as lie ran through the hall and
tossed it on a hook on the hat-rack,
ard by the time he reached his own
room he was ready to plunge into
his clean clothes. He pulled out a
bureau drawer, and began to rattle
things like q scotch terrier after a
rat.
Eleanor p he shrieked, Where
are nv clean shirts ?"
'In your drawer" calmly replied
Mrs. Stiffle, who was standing plae-
idly before glass, calmly and delib-
crately coaxing a refractory crimp
into place.
swell, but they ain't,7 shouted
Mr.. Stiffle, a little annoyed. 1--we
emphed everything out Of the draw
er. and there isn't shirt to be seer" "
Mrs. Siffie stepped back a few
PAGES, held her head TO oneside, and
after satisfying herself that the
crimp would do, and stay where she
put it, replied
"Those things scattered about on
the floor are all mine. Probably
you havn't been looking in your
own drawer"
II don't see," testify observed Mr..
Stiffle, why you couldn't have put
my things out for me, when you had
nothing else to do all the morning y
Because" said Mrs. Sdffle, set
ting herself into an additional arti-
Gle Of raiment with awful delibera-
ton, nobody puts mine out for me-
4 fair field and no favors, my dear" :"
Mr.. Stifle plunged into his shirt
like a bull at a red flag.
Where are my shirt studs ?" he
cried.
Mrs. Sdfiie went out into another
room and presently came back with
her gloves and hat, and saw Mr..
Stifie empting all the hoxes he
could find In and about the bureau
Then she said
In the shirt you took off, f"
Mrs. Stiffle put on her gloves,
while Dir. Stiffie hunted up and
down the room for his cutf-buttons.
Eleanor" he snarled at last, Il
believe you know where those but
tons are"
Il haven't seen them," said the
lady. settling her hat. Didn't you
lay them on the window sill in the
sitting room lost night 2"
Mr.. Stifile remembered and he
went down stairs on a run. He
stepped on one of his boots and was
Immediately landed in the hall at
the foot OF the stairs with neatness
and dispatch, attended in the trans
mission with more bumps than he
could count, and landed with q bang
like an explosion.
'Are you nearly ready, Algernon?"
asked the wife of his bosom, sweet
ly, leaning over the banisters.
The unhappy man groaned.
Cant you throw me down the
other boot ?" he asked. She pity
ingly kicked it to him. any valise?"
be inquired, as be tugged away at
bis boot.
Up in your dressing room.7 she
replied.
~Packed?7
Il do not know--unless you pack
ed it yourself-probably not" she
replied, with her hand on the door
knob. Il had hardly time to pack
my own"
She was passing out Of the gate,
when the door opened, and he
shouted
where, in the name OF goodness,
did you put my vest 1t has all my
money in it ?"
s'You threw it on the hatrack,
she called back. "Good bye, dearr'
Eleanor Eleanor ! Eleanor Stiff
fie Did you see anything of my
coat ?r
She paused and turned, after sig
Il \