Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1881-12-17
WITTIsCIss0RS.

The devil has one rodeeaing trait. he
never gives boarder a cold room.
Another hole in them pautsi SAID . fond
mother to her young hopeful. What
dreful onkneesy fellow you are
Fraticide: A party Of Centreyillo sports
men surrounded a.aock Of geese aud shot
three Of them before they discovered them
to be tame geese.
Cremation is becoming more and more
popular in Hungary. 1t Will soon be
common thing for the corpscs to be deyoar-
ed by the Hungary flames.
"Is patriotism dying OUT" asks the h-
ter Ocean. No, sir; not mueh il isn't. In
places where there are no saloons it is sold
at drug stores
"Sixty dollars for thrashihg machine"
exclaimed a boy, when he saw the card on
one for sale; why, mother only pays y
pair foT her slippers"
IN old gentleman Of much experience in
the world says thst all that Is necessary fof
thc perfect enjoyment Of love Of sausages IS
coiidcnce
The Inhabitants Of Deaiwood came ncaf
Iynching tailor who erdoayorcd 20 intro
duce the new style of tight coat-s.eeves ia
that city. They regarded it asa direct
blow at the poker industry.
I'D hate TO be in your Shoes" said
Tcrr Haute woman, as she was quroling
with ncighbor. "Ycu couidn'. GO in
them," sarcastically remarked .tc neigh
bor
Colonel, said man who waited to
make out genealogical tree, "CoIoncl,
how can l become thoroughly acquainted
with my family histoyg "smp. by
running for Congress, answered ihe Colo
mel.
1t was darling Gwccrge when . bridal
couple left Omaha; j, asa d,ar George
at Chicago; at Detroit j, pas George"
and when they reached Aiasara Fails itwas
Say, YOU"
81 should ike 'Courtship and Marriage
and The Best Of Husband" ida pretty
girl, tripping into a B.Oadvag boo' store.
81 think can al that li,i, mi.a, replied
the dapper young salesman. " Harc you
Ten Thousand Year ]"
Some genius out Wet IN ~rc roaicus
coroner that fellow. wi o., ir.t usmc was
Abel, had been murdered .a sa,dcn, and
bad been dead some ume. 81. coroner,
after hunting through ever. aac. yard in
the city, went home tired and dig'tod
The comic oyster wiuks sch iir rta7ly
shell and laughs inside ol hius,.i "a an
.icipation Of the lun he VIII have 10 some
coming church or Sunday. col ,e.ti,ll,
swimming around al glo lons
Of soup, boss of lha ole al. lot
liable to get caught Og la.e .-d exc. Bu.
its tcw bad-T,e Jsace
Man is pud .c.a
Woman g. tie lnc
That dang.,. c'er D. ii.a
And hook h!m ov ame;
She bats tbenook s bolis thcpole
But tic minis',r tut man
F''''
ne % mr. use '' '''e 'e'.' "' '''' '' 10
one of oldham poems s3:
Reduced to want d. &c. Ila iIme I'D ack,
Was fain to die aud ..re or i.ek.
Tick then as now. .o'aej -eliD Ilis
a contraction Of the a.r asatalss-
mans bin was form -.. ana &c
phrase con tick {" was iarlaGy "on lic,ot"
that is, in the bil'
Woman At last a..eri4..,.4,. THE Ouaen
If pp-nab marched n lie s,,r..,er.. of
KIM, Tboebaw Tor r...i.;.r.,. tr.t.,5
corr;ed him ,,r ,ot..r.., .,...,.. .,i,,,k.
"a liz, ~, ,.i.b ,,oh.,.. &. r..,...,,bo
two new wiye. int, ,r.. ar ,,o ,leG 90.
ve,nnent Iettbo vo,,l eo with en.
.on A,tl,o,v and Dr Ma. y..t,,
rr
a.. 80 ,"'! - -' -
"'i',"s oaA, uiNs' l. pi.-, Dn wen,
dream of -e.ing her ,u,nr.. f,s'a,4 That
o,o,i,o Lo,.o,,. ..,.,, ,,.... -.,...,
- :-D.-. -..,,.''...,.--...-e..
- ~ IAN '.''-- " ''''- ~ ''''' NO
seVeTai s~eei CAKES, am i"e 'af-' pickles,
} H. u Ia