The Red Cloud chief., 1881-10-27
MISS SPINNER'S DIARY.

What the use OF fOoling any longer:
Deacon Scratcher ought To have had
better sense than to begin that old
Song then, when my loveliest pie that l
had spent fifteen minutes in crimping
with the shovelhandle, had just tum-
bled off the stove-hearth upside down
and killed itself.
Deacon" said ! lyon are several
locusts. ] wish you would walk out of
here"
II won't" said he. It'll I get an
answer Will you please to decide?"
decide what?"
whether You'll be Mrs. Scratcher.
or an old maid?"
Verify, I will If you give me time"
"How much time do you want?"
'Only a few years"
"Why don't you say a couple Ofdec-
AIDES? You're thirty-six and I'm forty
six. Ninety is a good age to get mar
ried at"
YES" / said, searching carefully in
the wood-bOx for the nutmegs (Which
had fallen off the cupboard), land you
do need a few years more at school if
you mean that for an arithmetical cal
culation." 1t wa bad of me to worry
him, but then it was baking-day. and |
think l got up wrong side out this
morning, too.
He jumped off the meal-chest. where
he had been doubled up like a Chinese
fan.
II won't wait the twentieth part of a
minute longer" he vowed, and went
prancing round the kitchen in the
most tragic manner, and the worst pos
'sible temper.
"Oh, look out" | squalled, you've
got your big foot on my best crinkled
pie pan"
He kicked it under the stove like a
savage. and then went dashing round
every way.
Give me an answer" he kept roar
ing, a answer-an answer I'll have
an answer!' and i had to fly about like
a top to get my pies and gingerbread
out of the way, for l had strung them
out on the floor all around the stove,
and he would have capered over them
rough-shod.
"Quit quit" 1 cried. brandishing
the flour-scoop. You great, big Jug
gernaut, if you don't quit capering. Ill
shy the sitter at your head. Give me a
day-no, give me two days, and I'll tell
YOU" Then he stopped.
lis that the truth, solemn?" he
asked.
That's the truth, solemn l an
swered.
So now here I've only got two days
TO decide whether I'll stay Sallie Spin
ner with no one to love, none to kindle
the fire for me, or be Mrs. Deacon
Scratchcr, and have to iron shirts. Per-
haps l had better ask the advice of my
married friends and relatives.
July An. 1 got my first installment
of advice without asking!
Being in a meditative frame of mind,
/ had Just kind of slicked things up,
swept the dust under the edge of the
zinc. and jammed all the papers and
such behind the door, and was rev.
cling in the society of my rocking
chair and a green apple. when cousin
Juliana Pike came over to borrow a
lemon.
"Well. I've got n somewhere" l
said. "if it isn't in the cupboard or my
work basket, perhaps you'll find it in
al old trunk in the smOke-house."
mercy on u.s." said Juliana, "why
don't you be systematic?"
System and Sallie Spinner don't
travel hand in hand through this wicked
world" said /, rocking away placidly.
Juliana is n of the fidgety kind.
Cant you quit see-sawing q min
ute?" she asked, squirming around un-
til she knocked the ~coffee-pot out of
the window. what are you fooling away
your time for any way, when your work
is not half done?'
"'Tis half DONE" I said, "and I'm
tired. My constitution is fragile and diff
ficult to comprehend"
'.Shucks" interrupted my imper-
tinent cousin, '.it's pure laziness.
What ever you'll do w~hen-Sallie, let
me advise you never to get married.
Your fragile constitution would be
bound to get fractured if you had to
spend your days as the rest of us do
picking up hats, coats and boot jacks
for a living, not to mention hunting
nails, strings and hammers, at all hours
of the day, turning the grindstone by
way of recreation, reading old dry mar
ket reports at night, till you couldn't
sec. sewing on buttons, darning
socks"
"Enoughm 1 cried. .'tell me no
more horrorsr'
July 18th. More advice! Iran over
to Mrs. Drydox's to get a .night-cap
pattern. She was cleaning house. had
all the chairs stacked up outside the
door, and she looked as if her last
friend was buried under them, as she
sat on the step clasping the busting
brush with visible detection. Said 1:
''What tower is fallen. what star is
set? What chief comes there"
Eying me with dismal scorn, she in
terrupted-
"Ain't nothin' fallen, as 1 know of.
nor set neither-only the old dominiken
him."
why then this pathetic attitude.
this"
"Sallie," said she, "don't never get
married"
"That's so," sang out Mrs. Filter.
who came hopping up on the porch
with her ~sunbonnet over n shoulder.
like q frisky grasshopper with a stiff
mink wing, to return Mrs. Drydox's
wash-board, They're wOrser than tar
rspins, men are. They
"You don't begin to know 'em,
Sallie," said Mrs. Drydox with greatly
10000 doiocfion. ssthev'n call Vol
honey and everything nice now. but
once you marry 'em-hit's a solemn
fact, they won't eat cold greens fol
dinner OF . cleaning day."
"You dom tell me their depravity
poes INT far" Igasped. dropping into .
bunch of burdock.
FILTER. ..why they won't so much As
churn If they take a notion to plow OF
anything
.Acshilly now" Mrs. prydox con