Daily Republican., 1881-04-07

"Madame your boy cant pass a
half fare, he's too large, said the ticke
collector of a Highland train which ha,
been long detained on the road by snow
"Ile may he TOO large now, replied tn
matron but hr was small enougI
when we started. " The collector gave
in.
The custom of married men siIootinl
their wives and then committing sui
eide is becoming alarminglN prevalent
fh" practice is not TO hc corlm"ndrd
but nevertheless it is cheaper tHan TAX
ing out an Insurance. policy for he ben.
eft Of the widow.
/ III" sizes ar" marked on Fr"nch->nadc
shoes in rentiInotres, 50 that W hat in
America would be about number ti,,
in Paris is number forty. This fart
will prevent American ladies from
wearing French made shoes. They don I
like the sound Of the thing.
ChiId (scarcciy three years uhI)
looking wiSttullN at II dininutiy" pie.
Mother "Mrta. waut you to save
your nice pie 50 yonr papa ra,ll st" ii
when he comes home Child, looking
still More wistfully: al sink Irould
tell papa czactly how it looks,
| Two lovers in Cairo agreed to commit
suicide on . certain night The next
day nhr walked down street To hear
news from him, and met him walking
up street to hear news from her Both
-or mad. spa, at each other, and went
horne tG lH\ y same one else
"no YOU know who ! am, sir, that
YOU dare talk 50 to me, said an irat"
father to an impudcnt young hopeful.
YES. | know who you arj'. vas the
reply, ''bur Mr. Brown, who lives nest
door doesn't. for | heard him say only
III" uthrr day sir that Sou were an Old
AS.
Mars Aun 20 her brarI "And how
do them Telephones work y"taiI at,rt"''
"I'lt t"lt yr, said h'r beau ''sr >rr.
ehUI"sinc WAS tarkinl i" So tn uur
Of them. Watvrr I'd Npahr Nuu'h h"
sparks like running in II" vir,> ~ YER
ear" Mary Ann "Shurc thin its 4
Sp,rhir" M. j. il y" maDr '''
"Why. Jimmy. said IN" professional
h+IGar to another, ''ar' You "oju4 10
knock "ii already " IT, cHh two
u 'cluck, "\o. YOU mutton head. re-
SIrDd"l flr other. who was .uLa@rd il,
Nuburk ling his crutch, # m "ut} .uiu-
to put il on tin Q;h"r knee. Nuu don
suppose Il fellow rJn nra all day "u the
~tm" leg, no y"I '
A gentleman took his county ,uu>iI,
to- the th'ajr recently. On coming o'l
h" rrruark"d;
They played well, diln'. 'hey?"
The cousin 1r0m tb" rural district
looked around at hiIn and said;
''pi c'llrsr they did: lo''> Wh.vi tllr}
;ur paid 10 do.
There's pra"tira! criticism to! you.
1t must have been tremendously en-
to that young man whe"~rort
ct the preachers fair dnughl"r ~ =
m'rtin% aud arrived latr. tt l"or tn,
reverend gentleman Say rs the culp}r
Mp tn" aisle. my ddughf'r
II -rcviuu~lN turmcntrl with 4 devil. ~
which verse occurred in an account Of Il
New Testament miracle vhi'h Tire
ITearhrr WIS reading.
y fncrnhrr ct the MUr"iNAll'J school
board who visiting a school late y. aud
.hr class having read from M"h>'rr'~
address 1T plymouth, tn" trNNt"' asked
b" class. Nv ho was W"h,'rr "' one
"y said, ~ statesman, .fnniE'r ".Alr
,f"tor." But what is Il >r.'t"-n.,.u ..'
lNhth the trustee. ~ mHl who .~-
tround making speeches. ;rSwcr II :.
'"N. "lh"t is n"I quite riGa!. replied
Tie trustee II ." ar"utN ~,al' t:rp,>
Hahju@ speeches. but | a1u not u .,.rr,-
'uau. \ hri-m little l"ll"t sl,n'r rp,
II snow, II is " Inuu " it" .-.r ..!Wurd
Lnahlu. t"tn speeches,