The weekly miner. [volume] (Butte, Mont.) 1878-1881, 1881-12-27
SIDE DISHES.

Sabbath-breakers are always to be found
on the sea shore.
1t takes just three people to keep a secret
properly, but two of the three must be
dead.
The deepest insult that can be given in
Deadwood is to say: "You Amt worth
lynching.
Josh Billings says that y dog never bites
IN the same place twice. That's according
to which part Of u man gets over the fence
last.
Somebody observes that when six young
adj IS sit down to talk about a new dress pat.
tern a small boy with a tin horn is a refuge
for the weary.
A colored man at Lancaster, Pa, has been
accused of steallng a church. When a darkey
oncs gets religion hs wants all Of 1t there is
in tho market.
A Canadian paper says that Canadian
girls make better wives than any to be found
on thi, side Of the border. Let 'em come
over then, and get husbands worthy Of them.
81 see that Whitelaw Reid's bank account
is estimated at q million dollars. 1 feel now
like going out in the back yard and kicking
myself,-Anna Dickinson.
Singular unaninity: "Do look any
thing like you, Mr.. Jenes ? inquired Cauli-
f)wer." 81 hops not" W S the reply. did
a man take yen for me- % Eyes" "Where
is he / muQt lick him. ooh, he's dead.
l shot him on the spot.'
A Chicago drummer fell through a bridge
at Dss Msinss and broke his leg while trying
to firt with q calico dress hung on a clothes
line. Even the masher has his hour of sor-
rev.
Small matter: 81 declare y exclaimed
Brown, II believe l have forgotten ali l ever
know" "Ssrry to hear it," remarked Fegs.
"However, you can take an hour some day
and learn it all over again"
"Can't you steer the mainmast down the
forecAstle stairs ?" asked a sea captain OF a
new hand. "Yes, sir, I can, If you will stand
below and coil it up captain didn't cate
chiss that man any more.
A tourist in Switzerland, finding a charge
in his bill of stationery, and being sure thai
he had ordered none, Investigated the matter
and learned that the stationery was the inl
and paper used in making out his bill.
Ihs growing custom of wearing mourning
for a deceased sweetheart ehould be dis
couraged. When hslfa dozen different girl
suddenly appear in black at a young man.
funeral the situation is embarrassing.
"Yeu can't add different things together
said an Austin school teacher. "lf you adj
a sheep and 4 COW together, it does no
make two sheep or two cows" "a it'll
boy, a son Of a Texas milknan, held up hi
hand and said: "That may do with .hee
aud cows, but if yeu add a quart of water,
makes two quarts of milk. I'ye seen i
tried"
One of the first things old Hannibal Ham
lin will do when he gets to Madrid will b. t
20 aud see = bull-ight. The old mans edu
cation has been go sadly neglected in thi
particular that al the presnt writing he can
tell a bull from a hsifer.
i oey ttlSSli lpD3 htaFViI SuipViS viz
wind to the shorn lamb. But theu you mus
remsnber the lamb was forcibly shorn asains
his will; he didn't 90 and deliberately pawn
his ulster for s3.65 when he knewspsrfectll
we'll that July wasn't going to last all winter
Every Sunday preachers tell OF The prodi
gal sou, for whom a feast was spread, aud mu
sic and the dance welcomed back to his faith
er's mansion. But the prodigal dauShter'
What Of hsr:? No fatted calf is killed, Il" pa
rental arms are spread, and 10 strains Q
glad music greet her return, Shs is spurnec
remorselessly from every door, and the piou'
saints who msusgs bsnev olent institutions OF
funds donated by the puslic, and who wseE
over the heather of equatorial Africa, ant
the worshippsrs of Buddhs in Maulmain ans
Bangkok, have no mercy on the Lizzit
Aarunsons.