Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1881-04-01

| Slipped on the ice and broke m,
arm from heal to foot sighed Mr.
: Spoopendyke family.
"ireat gracious!' calculated Mrs
: Spoopendyke. whereabouts ? where
} did it happen =
; "Ont door, dod CAST it! Where dye
s'pose / did it? Think l brought th.
} ice in the house and laid down on it
Oh, dear! I'll never get my clothes of
, again Eve got to sit here and die.
!, And Mr.. Spoopendyke leaned back in
the chair and closed his eyes With res
} ignation.
I'll help you off with your hat and
overcoat,' said Mr.. Spoopendyke ten.
derly. "Lst me help you
"Be very careful about taking of
my hat said Mr.. Speopenbyke, rous-
ing up. "Take if off easy, or You'll
hurt my elbow. Pull the left arm OF
my overcoat down, so it will slip of
what We doing? Trying to skin me
That sleeves full of broken bones,
tell ye. Now help me to chair. l
knew must 60 sometime, but l never
expected to die so suddenly as this,
and Mr.. Spoopendyks lifted his
sprained arm and dropped it again, to
see If there was any animation left in
his system.
Cant l do something for you
dear: said Mrs. Spoopendyke, with
fearful eyes.
"If You could sing hymn without
starting the cats, it might make my
last minutes more peaceful replied
MIR. Spoopendyke, putting his feet OH
a chair and composing himself for dis.
solution.
You'd better let me attend yonr
arm, recommended Mrs. Spoopendyke.
IF it is badly sprained, you ought to
have something on it.
.Did't tell you it was broken !?
Just got curiosity to see, haven't ye !?
Can't wait for the post mortem, can
We? Go ahead. In little while I'll
be beyond pain. Just take and do
what You like with it, and Mr.. Spoo-
pendyke stuck the MANNED arm out
straight and waved it around like q
ham.
IF you let me rotate it little, and
then bind it up with arnica, you'll be
all right in an hour cried Mrs. Spoo-
pendyke afectionately.
Rotate it, them murmured Mr..
Spoopendyke. Il don't suppose it will
make much difference to my estate.
Take it down in the kitchen and ro-
tate it. You might-hold on, dod
CAST itA What dye think ana
pumpY Got an idea Pm a clock !?
Let 60 that arm, will ye?' aud Mr..
Speopsadyke pranced around the
room. Oh, you're surgeon, you are.
All you want is bucksaw and .
broken balustrade to be u medical COL
lege. Going to pull out it BY the roots?
sposan nshat tse!hs elain Ikr H ispsat str iss m
ana Mr.. Spoopendvke, who had been,
brandishing the injured member, b.
gan to stroke his shoulder and symps-
thise with himself.
sLet me ba' he it in srnica, said Mrs.
Spoopendyke. That's the best thing
in the world. Just let me turn up
your shirt sleeve and II fix it in =
minute
Very good said Mr.. Spoopendyke;
Il don't suppose it will do any harm
to hurry matters. Is my dress suit all
brushed? Have got shirt with q
button on the back to be buried in ?
Have | got pair of socks that my
immortal soul won't shine through
the toes of? Cause if l haven't, ye
had better use some Of your msssly
arnica on my clothes. If you think
I'm going into the tomb all covered
with grease, and my shirt Tapping
around on me like | was clothes
line, you're mistaken, that's ALL and
Mr.. Spoopendyke eyed his wife gloom
lily, while she prepared to lave his
sprained shoulder. will you put me
IN q casket:' he moaned as she began
operations.
Yes dear, replied Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke. Mr.. Spoopendyke regarded his
wife with one eye and grunted fsebly.
And you'll put on . silver plate
with my name and age, aad get few
flowers? You don't want many. |
shan't miss 'em if there amt MORN
six. Will you attend to it?'
Yes, answered Mrs. Spoopend yke,
'Ill See that you have lots Of flowers
and big fun
4 don't want big funeral. Sup.
pose I'm being cut off in the midst of
my usefulness just because funerals
are cheap? Have you got clean
handkerchief to put in my pocket
when I'm dead p
Certainly, DEAR replied Mrs. Spoo-
pendyke; and having Thoroughly
bathed the arm, she bandaged it care
fully. Don't you feel better?'
Perhaps if it were amputated in
time | might get WELL rejoined Mr..
Spoopendyke, hitching his arm
around to see if he could find pain
anywhere. What kind of cravat have
| got to wear in case of-in the event
of-the worst ? and MIR. Spoopendyke
approached the climax of his question
as a man who shrinks from the inevi-
table. .......
'The one you've got on will do,
won't it ? inquired Mrs. Spoopendyke.
NO it won't either. Is that all I've
got? Expect I'm going to be buried
among strangers in dod gasted neck
tie that won't hold together four days
longer? Calculate I'm gong to the