Daily Republican., 1881-01-27
IAND MERRIMEST.


Pessessing q Tendency
nse ono tO Smile.
hs sTAKv WINDOW.
~ Free Press says: Juat
block yesterday forenoon,
1irtesn men and one woman
window OF the post oihcs.
eu had letters TO post tor
~ z brains. The woman had
~ .l a up In blue match-box.
e 8 first, and she held the
~ her head in the window
Es on the shelf.
" ~ nch place in this ooun.
BID p she began.
Y std mail thereN'
b X = xoman living next doer
W &/ ~ ~ nal this box for her. !
.1.1. |I|6 1|rscied all right. She said
n 1 ~ ID Dor q cent"
N T. 1S1 t4o esnts," ead the clerk,
q Il f &4|. |I1e IL. az there's writing
a 4 n t|I Ne twelve cents"
<|@ o1t< 3n me, but how you do
I|1rs <1& {hirleen men began TO push
y ia 1usfi8 around aud talk about
~ 1|1 u6(cE,box delaying two dozen
<46(uezS Islltfs, but the woman had
s4'621 H xIIi be two cents, eh 2"
sslf there b 10 writing inside"
.V|sII. tE8rs may be-. know she
~ Great NHnd 10 write. She's sending
son5 14NeT sesd to her sister, and |
preSunae ske hss iold ber how to plant
.srso tbrstst' called one of the
sroHd, n " tfisd TO get up to the win
dow,
ssHurry upl'' salled another.
ssThore o1rittp be q separate win
, dow here for uonenl" grOwled third.
J ssThen q will take twelve cents ?"
she calmly ansried, as she fumulsd for
her purse.
ssYea.'
aWslI, nd better pay 1t, guess"
From one pocket she took two cop
pers from hsE yeticuls she took three
cent piece; IRON her purse che fshed
\ out nicksI, and II wa, only after a
hnns 81 eighty seocnds that she got the
fGeIve cents together. She then con.
snsned four Minntes in licking on the
slannps, asking where TO post the box
and wondering n there really was any
writing inside but woman proposes
d and man disposss. Twenty thousand
dollars worth Of business was being
4 detained BY . Twelve. cent woman, aud
d asfidaI wave en1denlY tsok her nway
from The Window In sixty seconds the
ikirxen men had been waited on and
gone their Ways, and the woman re-
!, turned 70 the window, handed in the
boz, end said
ssThem stamps are licked on kind O.
crooked, but II Won't make any differ
y encs, win Il ~
A enAnRous SRocRh.
Reverend ssnkey, of Galveston,
bought bottle III e5 whiskey to assist
him In the aelehration of Christmas.
The tFst pull he toOk from that demi-
y lohn was very short one. He imme-
3 diAteiy appointed himself an investl-
4 .gatinR COMMITTEES of one TO find out
/, what was tbx matter with the exhilsr
{ ating finid, md disOOversd that be
= sides containing about seventeen de-
:. funct army-aiNad cock reaches, tfero
Is was also & small mouse that needed
Is An inquest vofy bad. Saukey took
that Whiskey back where he got it
vi from, and wanted his money back
2 The grocer handed him back s..
z s.But paid you 1b for the gallon. :"
ri ~ know that, 2 responded the grocer
s'but we gave yen % whiskey all the
n sams. Va are not going to bankrupt
q ourselves By paying you back your %
]. when you only kot $S whiskey. We
p are not doing that kind Of a business. "
s'But don'tI ows you something
more for al those coekroachos :"
j.. .s0h, no ~ said the groc.r, with a
" magnificent wave Of his hand. "YOu
can keep me cockroaohes and the
mouse, =,
',TLanks,s Z sAid sankey, bursting
~ into tears, and graaping the hand Of
~ the noble trRdeeinan. II sm SC
?, glad that you didn't make any mistake
Q about that whiskey, II | fad second
l' hand ccckroacher and neglected mics
o. in your % whiskey, ! might have
~ found q picked male or some other
d brio a. brac Ia the s5 article" and,
10 weeping sopiously, Mr.. Sankey bowed
H' himself out.
This win explain why there was nc
egg nog q the BAnkey mansion, On Gal
weston avenue.
y ~ ruBLKs.
.t' Once whiis Dr. Eamued Johnson, the
% literary bsar, WAS talking very learn
~ edly one 81 ths company laughed
,3 Thoroughly Indignant johnson turned
5'a on him and ssid: What provokes your
i.r risihility, sifi Have said anything
q. that you can understand. II have
3lr ask pardon from the rest OF the ccm
u Vpany."
"What,n asked q Sunday school
,,, teacher, "is that Invisible power that
~ prevents the wicked man from sleep
D. ing and causes him to toss about upon
w his pillow, and what should he do 10
p ~, enjoy that peace that passeth under
~ atandingi' Sew up the hole in the
F! mosquito bar,'' was the prompt answer
=" ~. from the bad boy at the foot OF the
% class.
:. Al fond Galveston wife presented her
- husband with q bsautiiul suit OF blue