Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1881-03-10

SalO Oh SOu6UOuy, WAS CSIl6l t4I<tu ut
had right to be. There is a certain
type of face which trenchet perilously
on the gorilla; and Phil, who was ma
turally gifted in this direction, improved
his chances by the disposition of his
hair and whiskers, He had all the
graces of a lady killer, as an initiative
ape might have them. He had q brOgue
a man might have hung his hat on, and
believed that he spoke with the purest
of all possible English accents.
"Oi was niver taken for an Olrish-
man but wonce In my Ioife," Phil had
been known to say, an that was be a
Polish Jew OF met in Hungary; an
after we'd been talkin' form hour or
tew, Mr.. Durgan,' says he, ye' be an
Oirishman." And what makes We
think that?' says Oh. Your speech,
says he. An OF LATED at the man."
1t was before the days of the discs
Enlistment and disendowment of the
Irish Church, and bishop Of Ballykill
was prosperous and happy prelate.
His lOrdship's youngest son, Jack, was
terror to the hearts of his parents.
His lordship was an Englishman, and
Jack to his horror, had acquired a
brogue which riyaled Phil;s. This lad
was always in mischief Of one kind or
other, and his mothers anxious heart
daily foreboded that he would be
brought home upon a shutter. Yet
there was no harm III young Jack, and
he had as staunch pluck as bulldogs.
And, be it known, he knew and loved
the Major.
And now, the dran1otis pers0n@ being
introduced let the tale go smoothly on.
The good Bishop was rarely without
guests for if his own hospitable in
stincts slumbered for day or two, his
sons or daughters brought their own
chums or companions to dwell within
his gates. Kate and Mary were rap
turously in love with Vivian and Julia,
and were continually paying and receiv-
ing visits to and from them. Miss
Blake and Miss Durgan were beneath
Bishops roof, and Mr.. Phil Durgan.
who was intimate with the Bishops
second so, had no difficulty in securing
quarters there. The Major, knowing
his rivals chances and recognizing the
hopelessness of his own passion, was
torn by vain desires. He walked and
rode about Ballykill, encountering the
Bishop often, but avoiding the ladies
so persistentiy, that anybody who was
a fool might have thought that the
meeting with the Bishop were the
speacial object of his journeys. Master
Jack, who was acute and discerning
knew better. Meeting the Major one
day he took the bull by the horns.
"Gay, me boy" said Jack, "whOy
don't We come up an have shoy at
her?"
The majors name was Goeghaghan,
and "Gay' was the friendly contraction
"Well, we see, said the major, du-
biously, your mothers not too fond
of me-"
ooh, don't mind her ledyship," said
Jack; "oi'll pull We through ut.
'I'm not liked, Jack" the major
answered, sadly; and it's not of any
use to GO, would be coldly treated"
"Well look here, major" cried Jack,
with a look of triumph; "if OF give you
welcome from the governor an the
ould lady, will we Gomez
Faith" said the major with doubt
full smile, ~ Will"
"Roight!" shrieked the young gentle
man, and he threw pair of skates in
to the majors dogcart. He was in
after them at bound. "Droive to the
Black Root Pool, Gay" he said
The major shook the reins and away
they went.
''What is 1t, at all?' asked the ma
jOr.
pull up at Murphy's shebeen, said
Jack, and returned no other answer.
but there was world of hidden mean
ing in the wink with which this order
was accompanied.
The Shebeen arrived at, Jack leaped
down, and staggered in with Save
all herew
Its yew for breakup the boys
hearts, Mrs. Murphy, said Jack, "me
own is sore with you"
The plump and pretty Mrs. Murphy
laughed
sixteen takes foine leps these
| toims," says she in allusion to Jacks
age.
Jack beckoned her on one side and
| spoke to her for moment in n serious
whisper.
"Shamus," said she with a twinkle
in her eye, 'be fetching the clothes
line"
Shamus, like well trained husband
obeyed
Eye won't tell?" said Jack.
Not a synnable, be thin five Grass
es," said Mrs. Murphy.
Jack, handing up bottle Of whiskey
and clothes-line to the major, reas-
cended into the dog-c cart, nodded in a
friendly fashion to Shamus and his
wife, and requested his companion to
drive on. The mystified major obeyed
In the course of miles drive they
came upon the Back Root Pool, and
Jack began to screw on his skates.
'"The ice is not safe here" said the
major
Maybe l know that" Jack replied
Don't be fooling with me, Jack
said poor GeOrghaghan, who was
scarcely ever known to be angry with
anybody.
''The crookedest road is sometimes
straightest." responded Jack, senten,
tiously. BY this time his skates were
firmly bound. She'll stand, won't
she - said Jack, with q subway nod al
the mare.
Like stone," said the major.
''Then," said Jack, taking off his
overcoat, and cumbrously descending
from the dogcart, "follow me, an fetch
the clothes-line with you"
The first faint idea of Jacks plot
dawned upon the majors mind.
You'll be catching cold," he said.