New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1881-09-18

more IMAM an OutcaSt trOm society, and object
OF pity to my most familiar friends. tried every
remedy IN vain. AT length | heard of your Won
dertql re restorative, After weeks application my
mar had already begun to grow IN what seemed the
most iniracuIous manner AT the end OF ten months.
II had assumed such length and proportions as to
be most luxurious burden, and where i had be-
lore been regarded with tv and aversion, be.
came tlle enyied and admired of all heholders.,"
lnrou' sympathy and gratitude, g how that poor
creetur must a felt
"'.Oren SpauIdiug, of Weedsvile. Vermont
Adelaide went on but here l had 10 beg to be ex-
cused, and went to my room to get ready foI the
SundaY-schoo
seated completely aIrayed in his best Clothes oppo-
site Grandma, who held the big family Bible in her
hand ''''' '"'''"' SCHOOL question DOCK IN one
& pa said she, What tribe was it, in sacred
writ, that wore bunnits ?"
>, was compelled to infer from the tone of Grandpa
FISHERS answer that his temper had not undergone
am2illtying process during my absence
Come, ma SAID he, " how much longer We gon
to poster me in this wayS"
" Why, pa" Grandma reioined calmly. until you
git proper understaudm' of it. What tribe was
1t, IN sacred writ that wore bunptsP
Lordy!, exclaimed the old man. "How dye
SurI"Si know know Iihey must 3 been tarnal old
%d The tribe o. Gd2h pa| said Grandma gravely.
standin' AL ireshened up on the Scrpersw
Come, come, ma" said Grandpa, Using ner-
yously, it's time we was st9rtin. When make
up my nina 10 go anywhere ! always want to git
there IN time. If | was goin to the Old Harry,
should want to git there N time
Iihe; some on MS, said Grandma, with sad meaning,
unless we larn to use more rcspecful language"
Tho burden OF life on the sterile, wind swept Cape
is not a light one. The poor teacher sometimes
found the question of food grievous to consider.
Cedarswam had its peculiar seasons In winter
hulled corn filed the kettles of tie neighbcrhood
then came the reign of baked beans.
1t during this latter dispensation that nv
courage failed considerably
Adelaide used to remark, throwing rare musical
he hatf han
they look. Amt they, teacher ?"
., and was wont to reply conscentiously enough.
though with swectly weared glance at the Ia.
m'nar dish, Certainly, they do taste better than
" Squash on the SHE'LL an ingenious term for the
laSt OF the winter pumpkins boiled in halves, and
served az Rdtarei.
Grandpa, too, pinned and put away his food He
used TO look across the table n me, with n feeble
he sighed deeply and related anecdotes redolent of
" red salmon and deer flesh, " Strawberries as big
as tea cups" and peaches as big as pint bowls"
IN places Where he had sailed
Once he ventured to remark, apologetically, re-
1eerring to the beans and pumpkins. that "bein
sech bracin' food. and he guessed he'd 20 over to
ware am, and git some pork.
Wall, thar now, paW said Grandma: seems to
me we'd ought ter consider all the fruits % Gods
bounty ,, as ZOO good and reshin in their season.
", cal that pnnNn ont of season." said Grandpa
81 was talkin' about fruits I wasn't talkln'
about punkins,' said Grandma with derisive con
Wall" said Grandpa. very much aroused q if
you cal them tarnal white beans the fruits of God
Don't You consider that God made beans, pa ?"
Who, then" continued Grandma in an awful
tone do you consider made beans pa z"
Grandpas eyes, as he glarcd at the dish were
large ana round. and significant of unspeakablc
"Staunton Fisherw Grandma hastcned 60 say.
" my ears have heard enoughm
AS for Grandma, neither her appetite nor her
spirits tagged. In spite of her confirmed habit of
tahtalizing Grandpa-and this from no ma
leyolence of motive but simply rs the conscientious
fullment OF sacred religious and domestic duty
she was the most delightful soul ever knew
AT supper it habit for her TO sit at the table
long after had finished our meal aud 10 continuo
eating and talking i'll her slow, automatic sub |
anything easahe remained and thcn AZ She rose !
she would remark, simply with glance at the !
1t beats ALL how near you guessed the yittles TO-
night. daughter
Then Grandma resorted 10 an occasional pastime
harmless and playful enough in itself vet intended
As special means of discipline for Grandpa and
certainly source of great torment and anxiety to
Between the hours of and p. m. Grandma
would doitly glide ont of the family circle aud be
generously retired.
In the privacy of my own chamber could hear |
calling, Ma! maj" Could hear the outsdc dnnr |
swung open and imagine Grandpas wild face peer |
ing INTO the darkness, while still he called MIA !
ma where be YET It's half after ten"
Then from the foot of the ri airs would arise his |
yei It's half after ten !" silence everyybcrp
WITH mighty groan, Grandpa would come shutting
up the steep stairs, and what was most remarkable
Grandma was invariably found secluded amid the !
rubbish in the old garrett Then the whispcrings |
that arose between those two would have pierced
hrough denser substances by far than the little red
door winch separated me from the scene.
How'd know, ma but what you'd gone ou, |
and broke yer leg, or somethnf Come ma" with |
eNasperated persuasiveness" what DO We want to |
poster me this way forg'
~ Why pa, arose the calm. mcllifuous accents of
Grandma tisher. So't You might know how |!
you'd feel if should be took away.7
Next, the lltle staircase would resound with loud !
creaks and gyoans this reunited couple c,u !
tiously-aud | have no doubt that they believed |
the whole affair bad been conducted with the ut |
ing feet. ~
Grandma--IIeaven bless her. always devoted !
though orlgnal-neyer saw IA human i'll that she |
did not long to alleviate. SO as GRANDMA and I |
daily refused our food, she affirmed as her opinion
that the one need OF our dcTanged systems was n !
clariher! And she forthwith prepared a mixture |
which latter, she, upon her knees al wrested from
the frosty bosom )f the earth in an arena inrno- !
diately adjoining the Ark Thus beheld her one !
Wntry daY and wondered greatly what she was at !
When | came home from school at night through !
a strangely permcated atmosphere | behcL1 The |
clarher sirninering on the stove.
lie smiled when | came in, but 1t flint aud |
deathly sinie-the smile OF one who has returned
perforce, to weak defenceless infancy
Grandma pressed me kindly to partake pro-
Ierred TO keep what ills | had. rather than hy TO !
others that knew not OF. So gently ami firmly |
aeclihed. But Tor several days in succession
Grandpa was made the victim of this phastiy;
remedy. ''
HIS suferngs went beyond the power of mad ex.
postuiatlon TO express and came nigh to produce
upon his features the aspect of sanity respnoton
Never snail forget his appearance during this
clarifying periVdhis asi0nal faint and tieeting
attempts at wit--his usually hopeless and worIds
aypg l.