davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1881-01-13

lately of a young clergyman who's e
preaching they had heard that day.
"What do you think of himF" asked
Brown? 81 think" said Jones. he did
better two years ago" why" said
Brown. ''he didn't preach them"
"True," said Jones, "that Is what
mean"
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1881-01-13

THE explanation given by an excited
Celestial in Vicksburg: "Me playee
poker with Mclean; allie same me
glette flo aces; me bette ten dolla, no
body clum in. Me gette thlee Killings; !;
me bette five dolla, nobody clum in.
Me gette no fiushee; me bette fifteen
dolla, evly son of glun clum in, Me
cleanee out"
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1881-01-13

WoMAN-KIND Is like cider-sweet
when first squeezed-but growing more
vinegar-like after lying around u few
years.
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1881-01-13

AN old farmer said of his astor
who was exceedingly mild In his
preaching, "He's a good man, but he
always rakes with tue teeth up"
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1881-01-13

AN affected singer was told by
wag in the audience, "to come out
from behind his nose and sing like
other people"
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1881-01-13

WHY is fiattery like Cologne water
Because 1t is merely TO be sniffeu at, not
swallowed.
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1881-01-13

A SOLDIER having been wounded
with six-shooter, was taken to the
hospital, where he became sick shoot
er himself.
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1881-01-13

The greatest lover of the human
race is Toledo man. When he slips
down he prefers 10 have crowd see
him, so they can have the fun of
laughing.
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1881-01-13

If women are really angels, why
don't they fly over fence instead of
making such fearfully awkward job
of climbing?
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1881-01-13

"JACK what relation is that old gem
tlenIan | saw you with this morningv'
"Oh, not much; he's married TO my
grandparents only daughter"
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1881-01-13

Chow sad :" exclaimed one blade..e' ,
a pair of scissors to the OUher-"HOw
sad We only meet to severp %
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1881-01-13

NEVER does man believe so strong
ly in the attraction OF gravitation as
when he sits down on chair and find
il gone.
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1881-01-13

AN auctioneer should not be blsmed
for having the blues occasionally, as
he is naturally man of more (el bid
tastes.
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1881-01-13

LADIES should beware of the man
with Glove in his breath; for the
cloven foot is apt to follow.
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1881-01-13

Young folks grow most when they
are in love. 1t increases their sighs
wonderfully.
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1881-01-13

A MOTTO for tea dealers-Honest tea
is the best policy.
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1881-01-13

WHEN Is young lady like music
box? When she il full of airs.
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1881-01-13

The Largest Lathe.-The st. Chamond
S eel Works, France, boast of having
the largest lathe In the world 1t was
manufactured by Sir joseph Whitworth
& Co., of Manchester, England, and
has just been set up In France for turn
ing 100-ton guns.
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1881-01-13
Railways Regulating Pills.
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Act without Pain. always Reliable
and Natural In their Operation
A AvEGETABLE SUBSTITUTE FOR cALolGEL

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Perfectly tAsteleeg, elegantly cc&Ged vita
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RADwAYg PILLS, for the cure OF all Disorders
OF the stomach, Liver, Bowels, Kidneys, Blad-
Co9ttveneSA Indigestion. Dyspepsia Bilious
ness Fever Inflammation or the Bowels, Piles,
and NIL arrangements OF the Internal VlHcera.
Warranted 70 efect q perfect cuF@ Purely
vegetable, containing no mercury, minerals or
deleter1ous drugs
U-ObServe the following symptoms resulting
from Diseases OF the Digestive Organs C0Dsti-
patton Inward Piles, FullneSs OF the Blood IN
Head, Acidtty OF the stomach, Nausea. Heart
burn, Disgust OF Food, Fullness or Weight In
the Stomach, Sour Eructatlons, Sinking or Flut-
BationS when In q lying posture, DmnesS OF
Vision, Dots or Webs Before the Sight, Fever and
Dull pain In the Head, Deficiency Of PerspirA-
tion, TellowneSs OF the Skin and Eyes. Pain in
the Side, Chest, Limbs, and sudden Flushes Of
Heat, Burning In the Flesh.
A few doses OF RADwAYps Pills win free TIA
ayBtem from au the aboVe-named disordera4
Price, HS Gents per BOx.
We repeat that the reader must consult our
books and papers on the subject or diseases @n6
~E@lsG and True :"
"R@6wRy Om Irritable URGGhF@~%
'a@MdWMY 0M 6GFOfuHM,SS
and others relating 20 different CLASSES Of Dis
e@@eAs
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1881-01-13
HOLIDAY MUSIC BOOKS |
OLUMES OF BOUND SHEET MUSIC.

DITSoN co. call attention 20 their elegant
and useful music books suitable for presents,
and especially 10 their
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1881-01-07
Burdette's Observations.
HOW ALTOONA CAME INTO EXISTENCE
AND \ WIFE MADE $4,000 FOR HER
HUSBAND,

lBurdette's Letter to Burlington Hawkeyel
When you want to go anywhere in
this country you simply get on the
PENNSYLVANIA railroad and go there.
There are several other railroads in
these parts, but us the ''Pennsy" runs to
the same places, it amounts to the same
thing.
One time, the brakeman was telling
me, the PENNSYLVANIA railroad company
wanted good site for the location of
its great shops. 1t found the place
it wanted oil the east side of the Allie
ghany mountains, on Il beautiful pla-
teau. That was just 40 years ago.
There were not many people living on
that plateau in 1910. One daring pio-
neer and his family were monarchs of
the unbr0ken forest that covered it, and
three log huts hidden away in the shad-
Owy receSses of that forest were all the
indications of civilization to be found
there. The railway company seat ont
an agent to buy the whole plateau, with
written instructions to pay $4,000 if
necessary. The agent came, he found
the pioneer, he put up ut his unpretcn-
tious log hut, he told him all the new
stories from the city, he wrought him
into good humOr, and the settler final
ly made ready to sell ut $4,000, cOnSid-
ing himself Il made man at that. But
while he was talking business his good
wife was Strengthening up the str3 gers
room. She found a package of papers.
womanlv curiosity prompted her to
open the unsealed envelope, she read
the agents instructions. She called her
husband into the kitchen in very few
moments, and she did what nine women
out of every ten would do for their
husbands: she made more money for
him than he ever dreamed he would he
worth more than he ever could have
made, if he hadn't wife. When the set
tier returned he told the agent the real
estate had picked up little during
the past ten minutes, and he couldn't
think of taking less than $4,000 for his
claim. There was nothing else to be
done; swearing wouldn't help the mat
ter. The $4,000 was paid. $1,000 of it
belonged to the woman, but | never
heard whether she got it or not. Ten
years later the Pennsylvania railroad
began building its shops on the plateau,
and now the city of Altoona has up
ward of 10000 inhabitants, three or
four newspapers, II churches, as many
railroad shops in America. and the LO-
gan house. a hotel the size of Rhode Is
land. When | was there | slept in the
northeast county of it, tOo,-only IL
miles from the clerks desk.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1881-01-07

written.
Infiuitude is n sea out of which no
man has yet caught anything worth
Dragging over. Many fine hooks, bait
ed with craftiest theories and the most
specious speculatiOns, have been drop
ped into it, from time to time, and wise
fishermen have patiently held the ends
of the poles waiting for a nibble. But
not even miBnOw can be landed,
though there are plenty of Jealous an
glers who are sure they felt bites.
To begin properly to learn, we must
first frankly ascertain the extent of our
ignorance. To slur over their A b C's
from sense that we ought at least TO
know as much as that, is a sure way
not to master any science or az.
When wrought up to grand enthu-
siasm of soul over the records OF the
martyrs for truths and rights sake,
how easy does it seem for us to endure
stoically even unto death for good
cause But alas we step out into the
street, and the very first pebble we
stumble over, elicits a cry of pain and
4 profane epithet.
He who emigrates to a cave of the
mountain to escape from sin, finds the
devil a natuIalized citizen there al.
ready.
"He is rich who is satisfied with what
he has, -whether it be little or much.
But, in this sense, how few really are
rich for we find the millionaire no less
eager to add to his pile" than the
widow to her mites.
While wreathing garland of roses
to crown our friend for some worthy
deed, we always cOntrive to leave some
little thorn of doubt or disparagemen
lurking therein, which shall hereafter
sting and rankle in him just enough t.
render his enjoyment not quite perfect
1t just as often happens that man i.
what we call a poor talker' from th'
redundancy of his thoughts, as from
their paucity.
To keep on repenting for past sins il
easy enough. l. is the beginning to dc
better that is difficult.
The worlds scOrn only angers man
woman it kills.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1881-01-07

and yet they we're not satisfied without
her immediate presence. So we live on,
day after day, with an Undesirable
longing in our hearts. We strive to
quiet it with the assurance that we are
Gods children, but what we are needing
all the time is to be ''let in by our Fa-
theirs loving hand, out of the darkness
of unbelief and unrest into the Eight
OF His countenance."
1t is not enough TO know that we are
already in Gods household we need
His actual presence with us every mo-
ment. and this He is ready to grant us.
Let us like the children, knock, claim
ing the promise, KNOCK, and it shall
he opened unto you" Then we shall
he ''let in" and behold the liking in
His beauty Advocate aud Guardian.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1881-01-07
A Lesson from the Children.

Sitting alone toward the close of a
peaceful Sabbath day, my thoughts
were suddenly broken in upon 10y the
patter of little feet coming down the
hall. Mammals Room the dearest
spot on earth to the children, was just
opposite my own door, and well | knew
how much that tired mother craved a
few moments of quiet. Soon, however,
eager little voices sere calling, "Mam-
ma and the door was opened from
within. Then | heard the question,
"Whst do my darliBgs want T. AND a
baby voice replied, Nothing, mamma.
only 10 be let IN
All, that little answer what a lesson
it carried to my heart in its sweet sim
plicity-those few words, ''Only to be
let iD.T
Dear friends, there are very many of
Us who know We are Gods children,
and belong to His household, just as
these little children TO their mothers
house. They were her own children,
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1881-01-07
Set and Sit.

Many of the agricultural journals are
sorely troubled to know whether hen
sits or sets. If some editor of dignity
would set hen on nest and the edi-
tons would let her sit, it would be we'll
for the world. Now man, or woman
either, can set Il hen, although they can
not sit her; neither can they set OH her,
although the old hen might sit Oh them
10y the hour if they would allow. A
man cannot set on the wash bench but
he could set the basin on it, and neither
basin nor grammarians would object.
He could sit on il dogs tail, if the dog
was willing, or he might set his foot on
it. But if he should set on the afore-
said tail, or sit his foot there, the gram
marians as we'll us the dog would howl.
And yet, strange as it may seem, the
man may set the tail aside and then sit
down, and neither be assaulted by the
dog nor the grammarians. christian
World.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1881-01-07
Concerning Diphtheria.

CONCISE STATEMENT AS TO WHAT THE
DREAD DISEASE Is.
The New York Times publishes an
article, written by DIR. Kerr, of Pitts
burgh, concerning the true nature of
diphtheria. The pith of the paper is
condensed in Times editorial, from
which the following is taken: What
ever NAV Toe the nature of the disease
"a floating germ III the air, or even
the formation of Il false membrane i'll
the throat-in its early stage the disor-
der is purely local. The membrane,
which is ordinarily spoken Of as fungus,
can he removed by local application.
DIR. Kerr suggests a rather powerful
lotion of hydrochl0ric acid and glycer-
inc. But the moment the membrane
forms the patient is threatened with
another and tar more dangerous mala
dy. While the process in the tOnSils is
going on Il virulent poison Is distilled
in that neighborhnOd. This secretion,
an insignificant amount of which is
sufficient to impregnate the system,
passes from the throat into the stomach,
producing acute Gastritis, and thence
into the circulation. The system be
comes much depressed the action of
the heart and brain is lowered ordinari
ly, to the verge, and sometimes to the
worst condition of paralN sis, aud the
patient dies, not. rs is supposed, from
asphyXia, caused by the stoppage of the
air passage, but from the presence of Il
virulcnt poison in the blood which i'm
pedes the bodily functions and qucnch-
Is the activity of the vital organs. The
patient is in this additional plight, that
his system cannot with proper treat
mcnt receive reinforcement in the way
of new tissue for the stomach, being
greatly intiamed, is unable to asSimi
late food for the replcnishment of the
waste that has taken place or restore
energy to throw off the poison. But
the morbid conditions once thoroughly
understood, treatment to correspond
should not he hard to find, and DR..
Kerr meets the symptoms with apprO-
pirate remedies. He detdcheS the false
membrane 10y using the wash above
namad puts into the stomach Il simple
chemical preparation. calCined magne-
STA. to combine with and ueutraliZe the
diphtheretic poison. and gently remove
it through the natural channels. This
prevents its passage into the circula-
ton. Meantime he supports the patient
upon nutritious and nOn-iIritant food,
until the crisis of the disorder is reach
ed, when wine. or if necessary, whisky
and brandy, are copiouSly administered
to aid in eliminating the impurities and
throwing of the clutch that threatens
to choke the life out of heart and brain,
and with care and attention the tone
i OF 40 oil hn
functions are naturally discharged, the
membrane ceases to form, and the poi
sonOus secretion is no longer provided.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1881-01-07
The Duty of Kindness to Animals.

We have been too ready to assert our
supremacy over what is known as the
brute creation. and often we have our
selves been more brutal in our abuse of
life, than the creatures we have de
spiscd. While we have gladly en-
ployed their power to aid us in the
winning of pleasure or profit, we have
been careless of their health and com
fort. Many man has exercised Il mean
tyranny over the domestic animals un-
der his charge, and essential to his
welfare, and the instances of absolute
cruelty are too numerous to be winked
at, or passed over without sharp re-
buke. H-constructed, over-crowded
barns and stables have shortened life {;
passion has caused many an injury
which no after care could remedy :;
thoughtless love of pleasure has ruined
many noble animal whose misery
! who can estimate We have no right
to he uncOncerned in regard to these
cruelties, but ShOuld most earnestly and
effectively put ourselves at work to
prevent them. and punish those who
allow themselves to indulge in such
abuses.
1t needs only that men should be
reasonable III their demands on the
strength and speed of that noble ami
NAL, the horse. to make his life luxury
to himself as well as to his owner.
There is nothing that will better, if so
well, repay kind treatment, and there
are few things so frequently neglected
and abused. He judges fOolShly who
imagines the horse so destitute of in
telligence as not to appreciate the good
will which secures his comfort. The
record Is full of instances of sagacity
and tenderness which go far towards
establishing the position OF the horse
as friend, not only useful but wise,
and the man who despises him because
of his inferiority in the scale of being,
Is unfit to use him, because incapable
of appIeCiating his noble qualities. He
who would he cruel to such IA beast, is
the more beaStly of the two. The Be
douin loves his horse as his best friend :;
makes companion of him fondlcs
him with a tender care. more aSSiduOuS
than he bestows upon himself. and parts
with him only in the severeSt straits,
and then with sincere regret. The
horse, in turn. loves his master. serves
him swiftly and gladly. He needs no
whip to urge him to his swiftest speed.
The kindly word of encouragement is
enough. and nowhere can he found
more comely and coutrollable horses
than those in which the Arab chief
takes such Just pride. So it may be
with Us, when in the place of cruel
whip and spur, we shall substitute the
kindly interest which shall teach this
useful friend Of man. that man is his
friend too Rev. Wn. +. Gibbs.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1881-01-07
Chunks of Wisdom.

Hope dies not quite for us until we
die. But it is sick nigh unto death.
however. many times in the interval.
Imperfection always argues that there
can be no perfection.
He who i always prophesying shat
his neighbor will go wrong, lays him
self liable to do him wrong; for no one
likes to have his predictions falsified.
He who car contemplate his past and
net receive many warnings from it.
must have had 4 remarkably stupid ex-
istence.
No one pays any attention to signs
marked Dangerous that others set up
over thin spots in the ice of life; each
one prefers to run his own risk of
drowning rather than confess another
man wiser than he.
A day-dreamer is like the smith. who
dozes, hammer in hand, over his anvil,
and Only wakes to find that the iron
has cooled. The dreamer spends so
much time in fancying how his book or
poem must read, that has mind becomes
quite tagged out and indi5posed for fur
Their labor, before the first line has been
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1881-01-07
A Baldheaded Benefactor.

The Hot Springs, Ark, correspond
ent of the st. LOuis Globe Democrat
says: | was standing behind Majah Gu
trippali's chair on the Arlington the
other night, watching a game of poker,
in which he was hardly holding his own
when just having fallen heavily on a
queen full, he laid aside his sOmbrerO
to mop beaded persPiration from his
brow, and in doing so exposed a start
ling work of art in the shape of a mon
strous spider, tattooed into the skin of
his shining poll. was fascinated by
the bOrrid thing, which was SO cleverly
initiated in India ink that it stood out
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1881-01-07
Ensilage Practical in Vermont.

Essen, VT, Dec. 4, 1880.
| have been feeding ensilage over a
month. OuI cows have greatly increas-
ed their milk, (at least Onc-third) since
commenced feeding it, and us quite
number of them come in during January
and early i'll February. having been
MIXED since last January, the increase
in milk NOW is due entirely to the ensi-
lage. | am satisfied that even the small
quantity put up will more than pay all
expenses of buildings, Silo and all. Some
of the corn | weighed in the presence of
my neighbors and at a small estimate
it produced IS tons to the acre. My
pigs will eat it up as clean as the cows !;
in fact | have fed them nothing else for
ten days; of course have no interest
only to state facts to benefit farmers in
this vicinity, for | am indebted to many
of them and to what | have read in the
papers for all know about farming
Gilbert Norton ia BHrIiH JtOR Free Press.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1881-01-07
Rrligions Rradina.
Trust.


The sweet simple secret Of happy life may
found in these lines from a Calcutta paper
Just to let thy Father do
What he will
Just to know that he Is true,
And be- still
Just to follow hour by hour
As be leAdeth;
Just TO draw the moments power
As it needeth
just to trust him,-this is all.
Then the day will surely be
Peaceful whatsoever befall,
Bright and blessed, calm and free.
Just 10 let him speak TO thee
Through his word;
Watching that his voice may be
Clearly heard;
just 10 tell him everything,
As it rises;
And at once To him to bring
All surprises;
just to listen and 70 stay
Where you cannot miss his voice.
Thi. is all, and thus to-day.
Communing, you shall rejoice.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1881-01-07
Petition for Discharge in Bankruptcy
DISTRICT OF VERMONT, S..

In the IistriCt COurt Of The United States Tor the
District of Vermont. In Re. ABEL WHEE-
LER, Bankrupt.
DISTRICT OF VERMONT s..
Notice is hereby given that petition has been
filed in said Court, by Abel Wheeler of Lyndon,
formerly of Greensboro. in said District duly de
clITcd a bankrupt under the Act of Congress Of
March =, 1857 for discharge and certificate there
of from all his debts and other claims provuble I'm
der said Act and that the 22d day Of February,
ISL. at 10 o'clock \. NJ. before the Hon Hoyt II.
Wheeler, Judge of said Court, at the u. :. Court
Rooms IN Burlington, is assigned for the hearing of
the same, when and where all creditors who have
proved their debts. and other persons in interest
may attend and show cause if any they have why
the prayer of said petition should not be granted.
Il. t. SM HALEY. Clerk
Dated at Burlington, on the 18th day of Decem-
Der, lSSO. 65-61
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1881-01-07
Farm For Sale.

4 small farm, containing twenty-five t22) acres,
between st. Juhnsbury and Passumpsic and adj
joining +. \. Parks. The buildings are in good
repair. and consist of a one story and half house
woodshcd and barn, all connected. and supplied
with water from a never failing spring. ANY one
doing business in st. j Ohnsbury, and desiruus of
living ON a small farm will find this a desirable
place. Enquire of +. \. PARKS, Passumpsic or
MRS. II. \. STEELE un the place, for further
particulars. Coos