The Red Cloud chief., 1881-02-24
THE MANAGEMENT OF BOYS.

Man of Ict.~-., WAC Has Two or fh~m,
Rccites Ri. Method. az Home-Tra;ning,
md Explains His suec-ss-A Conver aficn
nj Interest 60 Mothers Whose Boys hoth-
err Them.
You see," he said, THAT / make
companions of my boys, and in govern
ing them / make companionsh;p the
basis. l like boys-in fact l like moth
ing else 50 well; and my theory is that
by cultivating a chi!d's acquaintance
you get an insight into his nature, and
are thereby enabled to adapt your teach
ing TO his peculiarities."
The speaker IA amanof letters, well
known in this city. He has two inter-
esting boys, aged respectively eleven
and eight years.
Suppose you found that one of your
boys had been smoking?'
We'll, a short time ago | told one
OF them that SO far as smoking was
concerned / should have 40 objection
whatever to his smoking. if he thought
best, after he became a man, but that [
should object to his doing so until he
was of age. 1 explained to him that
the highest authorities had decided
that this practice in youth had stunted
the growth, impaired the intellectual
and physical forces. and shortened life
by producing or encouraging certain
functional troubles that were by this
habit developed into something else aft
erward. Then he said, Il shall not
smoke until after | am twenty-one. and
not then if L think it hurts me- l
have since found out that vigorous
efforts have been made by other boys
10 induce him TO smoke, without NC
cess"
my boys" l observed, "cvery now
and then. especially after returning
from Sunday-school, ask for catcgoric
information with respect TO various the
illogical doginas, which | am entirely
unable 10 give them. They want to
know if certain things that have been
taught them are true, but in my pres
cnt state of mind don't know whether
these are true or not. What is a man
10 dop Is he TO make agnostics of his
children at once, or is he 10 be insincere
and 4 iiar?:"
Il make il a rule" h ereplied, "nev
er TO teach dogmatically anything which
] don't believe. | make il 4 rule never
10 teach my boys dogmatically anything
which l don't regard as demonstrab!c.
i give them facts. i'll don't know
clearly what Ia think about a matter |
tell them frankly that 1 don't know,
and then give them the common teach
ing and my own opinion of it; but /
instruct them that my opinions are by
no means infallible; that opinions rest
apon evidence, and that by and by they
must gather and weigh all such evil
dencc for themselves. | talk to n boy
of mine as frankly upon a theological
subject rs upon anything else as upon
the question, for instance, whether or
not the City of Berlin is the largest
steamer that comes 10 this port. If he
asked me that question 1 should say
that | did not know, that [ had heard
that the City of Berlin and one or two
others were the largest, but whether
she was larger than the others | could
not say. Then | would tell him that |
had a friend who could give him exact
information about steamships, and that
would give him that friends address
in case he should wish to obtain definite
information. But 1 don't let him think
that | know what, in fact, | do not
know"
But in cases where exact informa-
ton is not o~btainable?'
lin those cases | tel him that it is
not obtainab,e, al the sane time aSSur.
ing him that | may be mistaken in the
matter. give him all the information
that is accessible, but L never want him
10 think that the subject is exhausted;
and l try to leave the question open for
future discussion, so that his mind is
free to think healthily about the matter
in the future. don't want him when
he has grown up ever TO look back upon
anything and say: MY father showed
there a want Of respect for truth Fur
Their, l don't want him ever to get into
his W mind any lack of reverence for
truth from an observation of lack OF
such reverence on my part. want him
to see that L have never told him as
truth anything which was not true, and
that L have never told him as true
things which L merely had reason TO
suppose might be true"
Boys sometimes pick up bad words
from street boys, and the first thing you
know they are ventilating their acqui-
sitions upon their nurses Or mothers
We'll, l tell my boy that as a gen.
tleman's son he is under obligations to
himself to be better and decenter in his
life and habits than the bows in the
street are; and | have explaine l to him
that swearing and blackguardism gen.
orally are wholly unworthy of a gentle,
man. A boy who has a gentlewomar
for a mother and a gentleman for a
father ought not (I tel him) to act as q
boy would who had been brought up in
q stable"
"Your boys don't read dime novel:
surreptitiously?"
THAT is hardly conceivable"
"Why?"
because from their earliest child.
hood they have always regarded me a,
their best friend and most intimate con
fidant. They conceal nothing from me
because they are not afraid of me-"
"Of course, you don't encourag,
either of them TO report to you the pee
cadilloes of the other?"
mo. NV whole theory and pIactic,
of education and government with bot
nv boys has been to develop manlines
and to set up In their minds as an idea
a type of manly frankness, truthfulness
courage and purity. 1 have Discourage
everything that initiated against this
encouraged everything that worked TO
it, and generally in everything ! hav'
done l have given them the reason il
order that they might understand wha
/ was trying to make out OF them I'M
work with me to the same end. 1t on
has not tried it it would surprise hin
to discover how readily boys may b.
made to feel that parental action is de
signed for their good and improvement
and happiness, and how heartily they
will second every effort in that direc
tion-precisely as they will help yor
-yhen you are gettingyour fishing tackle
whGI you propose aaday's fishing il
"Peray are to join"
ly good boyspur boys are exceptional
mot at all.
the prig in either of ms not a TRAIT o
"Ihey have in their live