Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1881-05-21
Ner Potatoes.

quarters even the fly has begun to put on
his spcckS.
The tue of war will come when Barnum
gets out West and encounters sells Broth
,rs Millionaire Confederation Of StaPcn-
dous Railroad Shows.
She hclrdthe angels calling her
Prom that celestial shore,
She Happed her wings and away she Went
To make ~oucanEel more.
When YOU hear a man talking too much
about mock modesty YOU may he reminded
of what Lamb once suffered Well, sir,
there Is no mock modcSty abOu; you-Eoy
real either.
hcrc are Won going uv pretty maid
"fta toCnd 10y the msiuce, shc said.
And soon wa, heard ON the lonesome srct
The poudcr0u~ tread ot her mammoth ieet.
There is q poor woman in Southern ludi-
ara who religiou>ly believes that a snake Is
residing in her stomach, and her mental
suffering Is increased by the fact that her
husband pitics the snake.
There was a gay maiden named Fanny,
Who wouldn't darn socks Tor her granny,
but she'd sic an the day,
And she'd hammer way,
Like plumber upon the pianny.
oh. give me anything made Of beans,
exclaimed a Boston man taken sick ln the
West. when asked what he would have to
cat. They obeyed his request They gave
HIM cast0r-oI.
D-ampcniug, Old Trigss-"H Hello Jones,
got your feet Soppmg wet, haven't You
Why don't You wear rubbCr', aS do /
haven't wet my feet for six months. Jones
" Well. l should think you'd be ashamed
u saw So
There is no circl, tent, howter much watched
aud tended.
bat needs some greater care
THERE'S no hole. however well defended,
BIt has q small boy there.
A youas lady admitted to her mother that
her beau had kissed her on the cheek.
Md what did Won do asked the old la
.le ia q tone of Indignation. Mother.
said the Young lady. II canuo, tell a lie l
turned the other cheek.
Little Nell mashed her finger in the door
the other day, and came up crying and
holding il in her other hand. All no once
she stopped. a. If listening then looking
up through her tears exclaimed, Mamma,
there's a little heart in my finger; l feel 1t
fro5bin'.'
That picture shows the story of
Promethens and the vulture that FED on his
liver. Every day the vulturc deyoured 10
and every night IL grew for him to eat it
--ain." sympathetic child" Poor, dear
old %yulture, How sick he must have been
of li.sr every day 90
The evening for her bath of dew
Is partially uudrcsscd.
The sun behind "a bobtail flush
Is setting in the West.
The planets light the heavens with
The flash of their cigars;
The sky hlSpu, Eos night shirt cr,
And buttoned t with stars.
A Dcadwood miner expired last week az
ter a brief illness. He had had an argu-
ment i'm q bar-room, and never rallied from
tine effects of it. Ills last words, addressed
TO his wife. were. Il amt got nothing agin
no man. so don't YOU be toolin' around after
another pard when I'm planted.
Emperor William is suffering from a cold
and sore thr0at.-CGJie. Let him take
some vinegar. watcred and swecteucd, Just
before retiring. and tie an ola stocking
about his throat. 10 hc can get q quinine
pin 10 also may DO him good. Sometimes
fried crions are useful. taken 20 each meal.
lie ought 70 be thankful that it isn't a bile.
A gentleman IN the New York Swamp
met s. rather uncertain acquaintance the
other day, when the latter said: Pm "a
little short, and would like to ask You a co..
nundrum in mental arithmetic " Pro-
coed, said the gentleman. Well said
the short man, suppose YOU had $40 IN
YOUR pocket, and / should ask YOU for -,
how much would remain Ten dollars,
was the prompt answer.