davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Claiborne guardian. [volume] (Homer, La.) 1877-188?, 1881-09-07

A Scotch clergy nsp named VISIT
ty Morrison, was . man Of veg
great buinOr. On one occasioa .
young oaiees seoaed at the idea
that it required 10 much time an1
study to write sermon 40 niuis-
tiers pretend, aud offered to bet that
he would preach IN hour on any
passage In the Old Testament With.
ont the slightest preparation. NJ.
Morrison took the bet, aud be gave
for q text, Sand the ass opened HE
mouth and spake." The parson
won the wager, the officer being
rather disinclined to employ bic elo-
qUeRce upon that text.
On another occasion Mr.. M0Sri.
son entreated an officer to pardon .
poor soldier for some 0fense he bad
committed. The officer agreed to
do it If he would in return grant
him the first favor he should ask.
Mr. Morrison agreed to this. In
a day or two the omcer demanded
that the ceremony of baptism should
oc pVsiotuVu uIUu puVYys xu0
clergyman agreed 10 il, and . party
of gentlemen assembled to witness
the novel baptism.
Mr.. Morrison desired the officer
to hold the puppy, as was custom
airy in the baptism Of children, and
said:
"As / am a minister of the church
Of Scotland, ] must proceed accord
ing to the ceremony Of the church."
"Certainly," said the Major. ~
expect all the ceremony"
"Well, then, Major, begin by
the usual question: You acknowl.
edge yourself the father of this pup
pyf7
A roar of laughter burst from ~
crowd; the officer threw the candi.
date for baptism away; aud thus the
witty minister turned the laugh
against the infidef Who intended to
deride the sacred ordinance.
Claiborne guardian. [volume] (Homer, La.) 1877-188?, 1881-09-07
LIGHT OUT OF DARKNESS.

How sweet il VAS at dawn to float
Adown the silver rivulet;
Like Eden bower above ny boat
That wild red roses clustering met.
From tender dawn to fervent noon
Soft iris coiored psi-d and giowed
On rock, aud tree, aud flower festoou,
Through which the widening river flow
ed.
From noon 10 eve hostile storms,
With shock and strife heat aud cold
Cloud chsfiat- driven by spectral forms
Across the kissing waters rolled.
And now, Mt last, the air il free;
The ey-i.ss depths Of heaven are dark,
On every side n shorelcss sea
Is stretched around my shattered bark.
No help have from star or chart,
From beacon Dire or signal bell,
And cold and bitter Ger my heart
The deadly waters rise aud swell.
But To- light on oceans verge
Shines trrmnlons through rosy mist,
And flrcks with rel the throbbng surge,
Aud warns the clouds to amethyst.
Alas, 50 tempcsf-t tossed WINS ],
So blinded 10y the rain and spray,
While long, bcwillcred hours went by,
Aud fog and darkness hid my way.
That il yon light be eve or morn,
A Frightening or waning glow,
A smile of life, the newly born,
Or torch of death, may not know;
But ever toward that light steer.
With steadfast gaze aud ycaTning soul,
For life or death, through faith or fear,
My only hope, my only goal.
Claiborne guardian. [volume] (Homer, La.) 1877-188?, 1881-09-07

fBeiton Courier. /

While on the subject of baptism,
at the meeting on Sunday night,
Maj. Penn stirred up the ire of n
lady iu the audience. abiding to
her denomination as Campbell
ties" WherrupOn she mounted a
hench and proceeded to reply, by
telling the preacher what a great
sinner he was, and bow she would
wrestle with the Lord in prayer for
him that night. The Major thanked
her tor this profiered kindness, but,
by way Of a reminder, told her that
ST. Paul had said q woman should
not speak in public. This 30 en-.
ragged her that she again arose and
accused him of insulting her, when
he assured her that he was not the
AMI 0r of the sentence qnoted, and
did not really know whether Paul
intended 10 insult her or not.
Claiborne guardian. [volume] (Homer, La.) 1877-188?, 1881-09-07

"Does it, after all, pay to be hon.
estf disappointed young man
writes. No, my son, not if you're
honest for pay, il doesn't. Not il
you are honest merely because you
think it will pay; not If you are hon.
est only because you are afraid to
be rogue; indeed, my dear boy, it
does not pay to be honest that way.
If you can't he honest because you
hate lie and scorn a mean action,
il yOn can't he honest from princi.
pie, be a rascal; that's what you are
intended for, and you'll probably
succeed at it. But you can't make
anybody believe 10 honesty that ID
bought aud sold like merchandise.
Claiborne guardian. [volume] (Homer, La.) 1877-188?, 1881-09-07
THE CONSTITUTION OF 1879.
A Reply to Objections Made Against
the Present Judiciary System.
fShreveport Standard. /

SHREVEPORT. August IL. 1881,
crat:
A iair sample of the objections
WI ich have been made 10 the new
Constitution is TO he found in Il late
issue at the Alexandria Democrat,
aud repuhlishrd in several papers
ot the State with comments of APP.
prevail.
The Democrat, after n general lie.
ANNEXATION OF the Constitutional Con.
,rntiun of 1879 for having done
many absurd things, and some
things which brought it's name into
rrpruach, proceeds 10 state: "But
il did no more foolish and silly
thing than in providing for us such
bungleSome and useless judiciary
system. With the Constitution ut
1882. to which the people were
anxious To return, before them AZ Il
guide. they must needs try expert
ments. Their experiment has now
had fair trial. and il We mistake
not the people will demand return
to the old landmarks"
The above specified objection to
the Constitution of 1879 is without
any foundation IN fact, aud Was
made in cutirc ignorance Of the
judiciary system established under
the Constitution of 1852 and Of the
preceding Constitution Of 1915.
We say the objection WAS made
in ignorance because the Judiciary
system established under the Con
stltulion of 1852, which was the
same as that under the Consritu-
tinn Of 1915, is Incorporated in the
judiciary system oi 1879 and is
identical with it. Under the Consti.
tuition of 1852. as well as under the
Constitution at lS45, the judiciary
power WAS vested in Il Supreme
Court, in district courts aud III JUS
tices of the peace.
Under the Constitution of 1S45
and 1852. the Supreme Court wills
vested with appellate jurisdictions;
the district courts with civil. pro.
bate and criminal jurisdiction, and
the. clerks of these courts were
authorized to grant orders in Ger
tain eases; and Justices of the peace
were in,es'ed with n limited juris.
diction in civil and criminal eases.
SHch was the judiciary system
under the Constitution of 1852 and
1S45, the whole of which was incOr.
porated in the Judiciary system of
1870.
Under the new Constitution, we
have a Supreme Court with appel.
late jurisdiction; dislrirt courts with
civit, probate aud criminal juris,lie
tion; and the clerks of these cuuris
authorized TO grant orders in Ger.
tain cases; and justices Of the peace
with a limited jurisdiction in civil
and criminal cases.
There is q perfect identity he.
tween the judiciary systems under
the Constitution of 1915, 1852 and
1879, ~ far as the systems under
the Constitutions of lS45 and 1857
have been extended.
The Constitutional Convention of
1879 not only incorporated the judi
ciar, system of 1852 in the present
4, stem, but made such amendments
to that s>strm ~ were demanded
by an enlightened public policy,
the wants aud necessities of the
people.
The present Constitution requires
from tour 10 six terms Of the district
courts 10 be held annually in each
parish, to dispose of the civil and
criminal hnsinrss. while under ths
Constitution of 1852 only two termi
| .<o..s...A L., HILL
Claiborne guardian. [volume] (Homer, La.) 1877-188?, 1881-09-07
Household Hints.

AS We nave said before some
where, the enterprising editor who
endea, ors TO run a "household de-
parrment" without the aid of q
female writer will come to grief
sooner or later. One day last week
the editor OF the Cloverdale Cleanup
was startled by q whole tornado Of
raps at his sanctum door, on the
other side of which he presently be-
held q sniah mob OF matrons Of the
vicinity, each of whom bore an ex
preston Of indignant determination
on her face, and dish pan unoer
her arms.
"Are you the-the party who
said in last weeks paper that salad
dressing could lie improved by an
ounce of cayenne and some pow der
ell boraxi" said one.
M-I-suppose 3d." admitted the
editor.
ooh, you are, ehi" said the wo.
man, displaying sticky green
compound. "Well, perhaps you'd
like to finish this lot. I've got four
children at home ut the point Of
death from it now
"And arr you the miserable liar
who stated that the only way to
clean sealskin was to boil il in milkf'
screamed another, holding up what
appeared to he drowned puppy.
"Look at ihat!"
"I-er-ahem-rpally-" mum
bled the wretcbed journalist, "the
printer must have mixed it up with
the broken china item"
"And didn't You print a receipt
saying that r few pincbes of cop.
peras gave q rich dark color to
sponge cakei My husband has
been throwing up steadily since
day before yesterday mOrning!" sob
bed another, exhibiting what ap.
pearcd to be hunk Of stove coal.
"Ies," put in another irate dame,
holding up tattered basque, land
you said that vitri0l would take ink
stains out of velvet. You disgust.
ing old pirate"
IL think it must have been my
assistant, Clipem,7 Hammered the
editor. II don't think ! wrote any.
thing for that issue except a leader
on our Accused MonopOlies."
"Thai's too ihin," shrieked an.
other devasted female, putting mp a
green veil and displaying n parboil.
al MI ltaxsl
advise me, down ut the market
yesterday, to cut out your infaIlible
oriental recipe for taking out freck
LEST IL took 'em out, and the skin
with 'em; and the doctor says it ia
two TO one that ever see out of
that eye again. There! You're
welcome to what's left"
And the half scalped victim broke
a bottle on his nose, while the r, Ut
hammered him over the head With
assorted slabs of indigestion built
according to the Cleanup's sI,ecif-
cations, rammed uHriseH dough into
his month, and poured coal tar,
arsenic and sulphur remedy for
chicken pip down the back of his
neck.
When they were gone the moul.
der ofpublic opinion picked himself
mp, hunted for the foreman's mallet,
smashed the stereotype "Household
Hints" into forty thousand bits,
kicked the devil down stairs, and
went ont to trade a special notice
on the first page for some court.
plaster.-Erchange.
Claiborne guardian. [volume] (Homer, La.) 1877-188?, 1881-09-07

tration Of justice in the Supreme
Court Of the State.
These are the amendments made
by the Convention TO the judiciary
system Of 1852, aud they have
received the emphatic approval of
both the people and the bar.
NORTH LOUISIANA.
Claiborne guardian. [volume] (Homer, La.) 1877-188?, 1881-09-07

The Cincinnati Commercial called
for one cent subscriptions to REIN.
bnrse the ex-sOldier who was fined
e32 for slapping the man who wish.
ell Garfield would die, and has no
ceived over 5000 contributions.
Claiborne guardian. [volume] (Homer, La.) 1877-188?, 1881-09-07

A yonng Massachusetts man and
his prospective mothes.in.law set
ont to purchase a marriage license,
got drunk together and were in iail
at the hour appointed for the wed.
ding.
Claiborne guardian. [volume] (Homer, La.) 1877-188?, 1881-09-07

Prof. Huxley declares the supply
of herring in the sea 10 % practi.
cally inexbaustible, and that moth.
ing which man can do in the ordi.
nary way of destruction will ever
appreciably diminish the stock.
Claiborne guardian. [volume] (Homer, La.) 1877-188?, 1881-09-07

A paper lately read before an
English society states that British
heads are growing smaller, the d.
mansions having shrunk on an
average one. seventh of an inch
during the last quarter of a century.
Claiborne guardian. [volume] (Homer, La.) 1877-188?, 1881-09-07

The following il a true copy Of q
sign on an academy out West.
Freeman & Hugs, school teachers.
Freeman teaches the boys and
Huggs the girls.
Claiborne guardian. [volume] (Homer, La.) 1877-188?, 1881-09-07
c. II. ROGERS,
)use, Sign, Carriage and
Buggy Painter,
Paper-H Hanger and Glazier,
HOMER, LA.

6OLICIT THE PATRONAGE OF THE
people Of Homer and vicinity. Forevi-
ices of nv proficiency, refer to the nu-
fous persons for whom I have worked
claiborne parish.
erins reasonable, and work promptly
ented. G. II. ROGERS.
)pril Q, 1910, 33:y
Claiborne guardian. [volume] (Homer, La.) 1877-188?, 1881-09-07

There In no occasion for swearing
outside OF a newspaper offer, where
it is very useful In proof.resding,
aud Independently necessary in get.
ting forms to press- II has been
known, also to materially assist the
editor IN looking over the paper IT.
ter it IL printed. But otherwise II
IL u very foolish and wicked habit.
Claiborne guardian. [volume] (Homer, La.) 1877-188?, 1881-09-07

An Alabama negro, while raising
a crop last year, slept In one end Of
a hollow log and his cooking uten.
sils in the other end.
Claiborne guardian. [volume] (Homer, La.) 1877-188?, 1881-09-07

The Georgetown Texas Record
has discovered that mo editor can
do his duty and please everybody
Claiborne guardian. [volume] (Homer, La.) 1877-188?, 1881-09-07

A deputy Sheriff at Ozark, Ark,
on receiving a bribe of $1,000 releas.
ed four convicted murderers from
jail.
Claiborne guardian. [volume] (Homer, La.) 1877-188?, 1881-09-07

Guiteau spends q great part sf
the time In searching the Bible foe
precedents to Justify bis crime.
Claiborne guardian. [volume] (Homer, La.) 1877-188?, 1881-09-07

Mississippi produced the lareest
amount of cotton In 1880, the nan
Der Of bales being 965, So6
Claiborne guardian. [volume] (Homer, La.) 1877-188?, 1881-09-07

Some men, in striving to b q.
NOUS, by . slight mistake beoene
infamous. eN
Claiborne guardian. [volume] (Homer, La.) 1877-188?, 1881-09-07

The Mormous ase secretly re6s1o
ing over the sbossisg u ~ 94n1o
dent. Ite ~ szss ~
Claiborne guardian. [volume] (Homer, La.) 1877-188?, 1881-09-07

A barber shop NJ jackson, Mich.
has -four girl apprentices.
Claiborne guardian. [volume] (Homer, La.) 1877-188?, 1881-09-07
]. F. TAYLOR,
q. e. BLACKBURN,
heopathic Physician and Surgeon

pal attention given to diseases Of the
EYH aud EAR.
nee on Milan street, opposite Pacific
el, Shreveport, La,
ebruAry 2, lSsl. 25-
Towanda daily review. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1879-1921, 1881-02-25
Our New Senator.

A Press correspondent gives this quite
faithful pen-picture of Hon. John I. Mitch
ell, the new L. S. Senator:
"John l. Mitchell is about five feet ten
inches high and rather stout. His face
is rouud and full and always wears an ex-
preston Of good nature. He wears chin
whiSkers, which are light in color has a
handsome mouth, and he will be known
as one Of the good-looking Senators. lie
is q fair speaker, and though he would
not be called an orator he always speaks
to the point. At times, as on one occa-
sion when he had a wordy encounter with
Speaker Patterson when Il member Of the
force of expression. Among his friends
Mr.. Mitchell is not regarded as hard
worker, indeed, he is said to incline rath-
er to Incidence. He has the habit of run
ming his hands through his hair, which
gives his head q bushy appearance. He
has kept entirely aloof from the present
Senatorial contest, and has hardly been
considered possible dark horse, having
been in Harrisburg but twice this win
ter. He was supposed to be a supporter
of General Beaver, and it is said, endeav-
ored to secure the representatives of his
county to that gentleman about ten days
ago, but he was not successful"
Hon. II. II. Rockwell, a leading Demo
crat of Elmira, but an intimate acquaint-
ance of Mr.. Mitchell, pays him this high
compliment in recent number Of the FL
mira Gazette: "Having been associated
with him as school boy and school teach
er, and been thrown in contact with him
in the army, and having known him as
editor, lawyer and legislator summer and
winter for twenty-five years, we can
cheetfullY testify that in point Of honesty
ability. mental culture and knowledge Of
public affairs, Mr. Mitchell will W0rthily
fill the position and rank with the best Of
his peers in the United States Senate.
His many friencs in this city congratulate
him, and none more heartily than those
friends of his boyhood who are now his
political oponents. The Gazette feels a
personal pride in this matter, not only
for reasons which are apparent in what
has already been written, but from the
fact that it's business manager and Mr..
Mitchell were early friends and school
teachers together in Tioga county twenty
years ago"
Towanda daily review. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1879-1921, 1881-02-25

ii icy when a golden chance is
AA ~A @A@~ Aa@~ - offered, thereby always keep
ting poverty from your door. Those who always
money that offered, generally become wealthy !;
while those who do not improve such chances re
main il poverty. We want many men, women,
boys and girls to work for us right in their own
localities. The business will pay more than ent
times ordinary wages. We furnish AL expensive
outfit and all that you need, free. No one who Ell
cages fails to make money very rapidly. y GU can
devote your whole time to the work. or only your
spare moments. Full information and all that is
needed sent free Address Stnssn 3; Co., Portland.
Maine.
Towanda daily review. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1879-1921, 1881-02-25

The President has signed the Naval
Appropriation bill and also the bill trans
ferring the management of the affairs Of
the Freedmen's Bank to the Comptroller
of the Currency.
Towanda daily review. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1879-1921, 1881-02-25

.s Dollar outfit sent free to those who wish to
1gage in the most pleasant and profitable bust
ness known. Everything new-capital not re-
Quiren We will furnish you everything $10a day
and upwards is easily made without staying away
from home over night. No risk whatever. Many
ne worker wanted at once. Many making
fortunes at the business. Ladies make much as
me, and young boys and girls make great pay. No
who is willing to work fails to make more mon.
ey every day than be made in week at any
ordinary employment. Those who engage stoncs
will find 8 short road to fortune. Addrcss II.
laet \ Co., Portland, Maine.
Towanda daily review. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1879-1921, 1881-02-25

The Albany Journal comments thus on
the adaptablity of Gen. Garfield to the
situation. '"There is a great difference,
in one respect, between a canal driver
and President Of the United States.
The former must be outSpOken with the
mules he is driving but the latter is not
obliged to be equally communicative with
the donkeys who visit him. A silent
mule-driver would be as untitled for his
work as garrulous President. n. Gar
field, whether Jim or General" has
always had the faculty of adapting him
self to the proprieties Of the occasion"
Towanda daily review. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1879-1921, 1881-02-25

Do net be imposed upon by agents and parties
who are interested in the purchase and sale OF other
machines. 1t has become y common trick for un
scrnpulous competitors to get a White machine and
put in bad order that they might prejudice pur
chascrs againstit and in favor OF their machines.
70 guard against such contemplate trickery, we
advise all intending purchasers to correspond with
us direct, and we will take pleasure in giving them
the address Of regular authorized dealer for the
"Whte" in their county, will offer to sell
them machine direct at special prices and guaran-
tee satisfaction in every respect.
Towanda daily review. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1879-1921, 1881-02-25

There is great commotion all over the
country on account of the passage of the
Rsfunding bill by the Senate in substan-
TALLY the sam9 shape it came from the
House. The Democrats have seemed to
take delight in disturbing business circles
and interests as much as possible ever
since they have been in control in Con-
gress, and the last hours of their power
are proving no exception to the rule.
The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1881-08-18
Valley Railroad.

A called meeting of the stockholders of the
Valley railroad was held here on Thursday
last VIM. A. Burke presided, and majority
of the stock was represented by the following
proxies: Baltimore City and the Baltimore 6
Ohio road by A. Madison, acting third vice
President of the B. s. o. road; Lexington and
Rockbridge, by Col W. A. Anderson, Mayor
G. M. Dold, Messrs. Letcher and Barclay
Botetourt, M. Haden; Staunton, Messrs. R.
W. Burke, T. C. Elder, G. G. Gooch and a
number of private stockholders
The business transacted was to authorize
the Board of Directors to negotiate a loan OF
one million, to be applied to the construction
and completion of the road from Staunton to
Lexington. and the equipment OF the entire
line from Harrisonburg to the latter point
The Board of Directors, being thus empower
ed, will meet at an early date and raise the
money. Work will them be e9mmaealea. and
pg:shaeA rapidly to completion.
Very satisfactory arrangements have been
made at Lexington fora connection with the
Richmond and Allegheny road, and the cree
tion of union depot. The junction will be
made about half mile bel0g the present idca-
tieni of'the Valley road, at'lNortli river, near
Lexington, and to effect 1.-THE line Of the road
VIII bechanged, ." 10
1t is understood that there will be no
trouble in raising the money, as the B. & O.
road will purchase the bonds, and Mr. Boyd,
the contractor, will begin the work of con-
struction at once.
The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1881-08-18
DEATHS:

On August 18th, of paralysis, Mrs. Harriet Price
aged 6o years, widow Of the late Addison II. Price
of Augusta county.
In Staunton, on Saturday morning, of typhoid
fever, about 20 minutes to 6o'clock, Willie Manson
Oldest son of Thomas j. Crewder, aged years, II
months and days. r
Richmond and Petersburg papers please copy
In Mt. Crawford, Rockingham county, August Sd,
after a protracted and painful illness, Lillian E
Lndon, Oldest daughter of M. and Virginia L. Lin
don, aged IS years, II months and IA days.
On the morning of July 30th, at his residence on
Walkers Creek in Rockbridge, after painful illness,
Mr. Andrew Patterson, in the 10th year Of his age.
At his residence, Fancy Hill, Rockbridge
county, on Sunday week, after protracted illness,
Mr. Bobert G. McCluer, in the Gath year Of his age.
In Greenbrier county, W. Va, June Sd, Geo. W.
Anderson, aged IS years He was formerly school
teacher in Augusta county, and afterwards repre-
sented Greenbrier four sessions in the legislature
On August 4th, near Fshersville, Lizzie DAILY, in
FAINT daughter of the late DR.. Harry M. Dold, aged
10 months and IT days.
At McGaheysville, Va, the 2nd of August, Mrs.
Mary c. Hammer died of heart disease. She was
the wife of Dr. Q. E. Hammer, and daughter of G. T.
and f, V. Hopkins. She was loved Of all who knew
her, and her life that of Christian. Her
death was calm and peaceful, and she died in the
full assurance of hope. The funeral services were
conducted by Rev. j. S. Hopkins, assisted by Rev.
L. s. Graybill. large and deeply affected congre-
cation OF sympathizing friends in attendance.
The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1881-08-18

DEATH ON THE RAH..-On Wednesday, the
17th man supposed to have been deaf and
dumb, was run over by the fast train on G.
o. R. R. which reaches here going west at
4:30, near Christian Creek, about five miles
east of Staunton, and instantly killed. He is
supposed to have been about Is or 80 years OF
age rather spare made, side whiskers and
dressed in dark home-spun clothes. There was
found on his person testament and several
papers scrubbed on, which indicate that he is
from Bedford county and that his name was
David W. Miller. The mangled remains were
brought to Staunton, and will be buried at the
expense of the Railroad Company. His father,
Sam'l N. Miller, resides at Fancy Grove, Bed
ford county, Va.