Custer chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, Black Hills, D.T. [S.D.]) 1880-1890, 1881-08-13
Another Th heory Busted.


city, held an auction of her household
effects 4 few days ago, and everything
Went Al prompt sale until little but the
bclS'cd WAS left. Just before this was
put NJ some of the women went to spy
ing around. and discovered that it was
infested with bed-hugS. This fact was
moi Cd around until il came TO the ears
Of the aUttiuncer, who mounted the box
and said
''W ordS cannot expires, the poignancy
of my SORROW over the base cunard
which has been pnt in circulation in
this crowd. | have sold Goods in this
town for twcnty-nine long years, and
this il, the first instance in which bugs
have been permitted t. step between me
and the purchasing public. Ladies and
grrllcuep. j there is bug in or nbout
,hlt bcdSead | want to see him can
not and will not believe there Is 1t
NOuid pe q slander--a most foul Slunder
on the character of this worthy widow.
who j. about 10 remove 20 the state OF
Ohio"
Being invited To step down and view
thc D,i"~ for himself he made an inspec-
lion. They were there. They were
@dicping in and out and up and down,
ami il was no use to dispute the fact
Ladies' and gentlemen" said the auc-
tioncer as he resumed his post, found
bugs. don't exactly remember the
latin name for them, bat they are there.
And now let me talk to you dis a friend
led bugs were not IN pde for CANDY
SOW, nor were they made for life of
eA,c u is Il law OF nature that they
shou d inhabit bedsteals. They can no
more 20 out under the barn and make a
living than dog can become an eagle
and float through space. rhc aversion
among you to this insect is founded on
false plin,i lies. His hi,o scarcely irri-
tatcs the sleeper, but it cleanses and
purifies the blood. But for the bed
bugs Of this country, we should all have
bols and carbunces They keep down
warts. They cause molcs TO disappear.
Give them a chance and they would re-
move corns without pain. The great ="
"fittv cents :" called an old woman
who remembered that she had remed
at home.
Fifty cents, am offered fifty cents
for a SO betlstead. and as ! was going 10
say, the great Napoleon always asked
for bed with bugs in it. l am offered
fifty cents, and yet Caesar had his bugs.
am
"Onc dollar"
Il am offered one dollar, and yet the
poets of Greece immortaizeh the in
sects before You. This widow tells me
that she has not had an ache or a pain
since the first bug made his appearance.
How many of YOU have read what
Homer wrote of them? What was the
fountain Of Mozart's twelfth mass? And
yet L"
Two dollars"
"And YETI. hear only two dollars. Do
YOU have headache? Are you afflicted
with giddiness? Do you have roaring
in the ears ,"
"Three dollars ~
"My friends, let me 70 home and get
nv copy of Paradise Lost and read to
YOU one short chapter. What aid
| ail.iUnA4"
-Four dollars :"
"Ah begin to see that art and cul
tUre are not unknown TO the audience.
Did Alexander the Great have boils
Never, not one And why?"
Five dollars ~
IL am bid five dollars. / would like
10 quote one verse from well known
Latin poet, but time presses, and this
hedstead is sold for five dollars, cash on
the nail. / will now direct your cul-
tured attention to that cookstove with a
cracked oven. ."-Detroit Free Press.
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Lient. Gov. Tabor Of Colorado owns