Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1881-04-06

the eternal and airless cold of inter-
sidereal space. Raising my voice to a
still higher pitch, as though the bulk
Of my congregation were in Siberia,
where | honestly wished they really
were, | rapidly told the people every
thing | had ever thought or dreamed
of, everything, relevant and irrelevant,
| ever expected to think or dream of,
if my life should be spared for several
centuries to come, and then reached
| the grand climax of vocallZation with
an Amen SO loud and resonant, and
withal so entirely soul-satisfying, that
| have not yet recovered from the
effects of it. No man that ever lived
has enjoyed the intensity of mingled
happiness and misery which filed my
heart to bursting when that comfort
ing Amen was on my lips.
What | had been talking about
neither | nor any one else had the
slightest conception This sorrowful
vagueness was, however, well covered
dp by the unspeakable relief | felt at
having arrived at terminus. looked
at the clock, and found that | had
been talking or, rather, screaming just
twelve minutes. | never knew before
the exact time required to pour ones
self entirely out, leaving not a drop
nor vestige of drop behind. To
say that was empty is to say nothing.
| was fearfuily, dnlefuily, super-natur
ally empty. And this, | said to my
self, as | wiped my brow, is what you
call extempore speaking. Heaven save
the mark! In about four Sundays, I
continued, in soIiloquy, that kind ofex-
tompore speech would enable your di-
minished number of friends to follow
you to the graveyard. They would
do SO with serene sense of relief !;
and, when casting .bout for a success
sor, the first question would be: DO
you write your sermons?' If be an
swered in the negative, they would
take him to my resting-place, point to
my tombstone, and remark: Our ex-
perience with extempore sermons has
not been all that could be desired. The
effort to preach without manuscript
killed a promising young man and
came very near killing US. This
church is not inclined to encourage a
repetition of the experiment, and you
had better go somewhere else to die. ,
Thus consolingly did | commune with
myself. | had been told that extern
pore preaching is as stimulating as
gymnastic exercise but | found that
| it was somewhat overstimulatng to q
man of my temperament, and as an ex-
ercse | discovered that is was rather
violent than bealthful.
The worst criticism that was made
on my effort was my poor fathers
silence | think the old gentleman
never suffered so much in so short
time AT the Sunday dinner it was
his delight to discuss the morning SER
mon, and to indicate in very encour-
aging and fattering way the portions
Of it which struck him as peculiarly
effective. On this particular Sunday
not the most distant alusion was
made to anything that had occurred
in the church Indeed, it was pain
fully evident that everybody was max
ing the greatest possible effort not to
allude to it, and was at the same time
afraid that something which was said
on another subject might be construed
as an alusion to it. Conversation un-
der such embarrassing limitations is
not only difficult, but impossible. To
talk while standing on the edge Of a
volcano, and with the consciousness
that some trivial expression may pos
sibly have, without your knowing it,
a diabolical double meaning, which
may Start the volcano into vehement
activity, is not the most enlivening
task in the world. / was positively
burning to talk the matter over, in
order to relieve myself and everybody
else was burning to express for my po-
sition profound pity; but it would
never do was both overwhelmingly
crushed and tremendously defiant; but
my father and mother took rather a
sad view Of the matter, and would not
for worlds express their real opinions,
even if they had had sufficient com
mand Of the English language to do it
justice, which they evidently did not
have So I slipped my soup and spoke
of the appalling condition of the
heather in Central Africa, and then
expressed very decided opinion that,
if the coming winter should prove a
very cold one, we should certainly have
both snow and ice, and continued by
rcmarking that, if we all lived till
spring and summer, The temperature
woald probably rise and the snow and
ice would possibly melt; to all OF
which propositions my loving parents
gave their quick and cordial assent.
In his own original remarks my father
expressed great sympathy for sick peo-
pie, and, without seeing any parallel
ism, said that his heart always went
out with peculiar tenderness toward a
family one Of whose members had been
suddenly stricken with incurable in
sanity. The dinner season was, on
the whole, far from conviviai, and the
food eaten. il may Judge from the
indigestion Of the afternoon, was not
especially nourishing.
When, at last, got into my study,
locked the door, and gave way to
mingled emotions, in which positive
agony had its place. Such a Sunday
afternoon seldom falls to the lot Of NOR.
tails. | prayed earnestly for the aiiict
ed congregation, that the cause Of reli
gion might not suffer on account Of my
peculiar performance; and for myself
that my alteration, if it was that
might be merely temporary. | looked
over volume Of sermons which were
said to be cxtempore but did not find
any that in the remotest degree rcsem
bled the one had just delivered.
took wretcbed and cynical satisfac
tion in the fact that no one would nc