Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1881-05-20

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"Oh, Lord" prayed Methodist minis
ter, keep me humble and poor" ooh.
Lord, if thou wilt keep him humble, p"
said a brother who next prayed, ''we will
keep him poor GdircstOn Ncrs.
An exchange says at is nobby to wear
a watch on the shoulder, fastened with n
diamond arrow" but it neglects to add
that it is fashionable to wear clocks on
stockings.
Mrs. Harriet Bcecher Stowe thinks it
is very inartistic 10 knit mems foot-gear
straight. Doesn't it depend, Harriet, on
whose socks it is that is gored ?-Aneri-
cm Queen.
Dampening Old Triggs-"H Hello,
Jones, got your feet sopping wet, haven't
you? Why don't You wear rubbers, AZ
do? l haven't wet my feet forsix months.
Jones-"Well | should think you'd be
ashamed To say so."-Harrard Lam
2'oon.
A Paris letter says: AT the recent
Mackey ball the toilet Of the hostess was
a poem" So? Kind Of all airy costume
| for n ball, too, but then We are glad to
know that it was n poem. just think,
suppose it had only been two-line para
graph? Oh, dear, oh, dear !-Burting-
ton HamEryc
Soro,oro il ,,r.,,or,ro on ;pmepseboom
for tb;s year new spriup has been
discovered whose waters have n peculiar
nronertv and every rich man who drinks
there goes right oil and proposes to some
poor but handsome clrl who has boen
waiting for something of that sort. The
waters are ,ccently discriminating SO
that they do not have anv such effect upon
moor men. All the girls have to do now
is to 90 up TO Saratoga and hover about
the new spring and their fortunes are
made. -IhHadci,hia Times.
Those who are sometimes troubled to
know how to pronounce the termination
''ough'-so troublesome to foreieners-
may see how simple and easy the follow
ing makes the task;
"Nite MAKE me some duhlplihgs oi uouSh'
Theyre beiier than meat lot ny coueh
fray lei them ne nplleu il hot 'ntuus"'
But not I'LL iheS re hea'y ah" 'ous"-
..Now must he OF 10 nv plough,
ana tne Dpys 1 wnr on t,ty MY, ho"as @ s"ous
While the old mare drinks at the trough
..C;, o.,o,, -, ,,;olt ia honofrl " Tb;.
- onaof thnse Wise ox;oms proved IA he
trna hv aJom His trouble was caused
Nv ~ e.,;;nr am o,rIa ofter Eve RosIon
T.ansnr;,,I
M, Ii. u.,, oaro h.r G,ua hoy
nc III ~ H.. a., ;nf.,,t ,I,ct
IaStoi VI, ".'s NJ 't'l;,.i g .,,,n Ill
ne ~ouiI De nau'n ''',u H5',','.,,;W =, 1no I,,..
chs'o' oii 'i'e '''''''' ''''
'", ,.,,;no cr;,;c l.ser;bcs q rouno net
SuSninS ~, - II.
Jwell mon" He would want to "look out
for paint" before I.e took up his residence
there.
Do,,,, ;,.,o, as - mana ,,,oroctor nv
, Don ~ I. ~ Il,
L.
D., - .., ,. &c.,, ,,,o,, "
IN n a., -, ,,ous,,o,,ar
% i"i' A,'i.' i'1 '.'. = a. -.
,,,.i. 1,e....'.U' ~
Beneath ihs quiet turly
Lies Arsheila Murphy,
As nsual-kerosrne- -, ov,.n
II
Ayouhe gehtieiil'll eaiie! oh new az
quaintahce the 1,ier e'ehihe' mn 'o"s
ne VIII never can On -, ne, -: as.un 80, G
.housh si'e Mns NOV an i,is In an, p;at pt' ~,
liz non, s,r;n, sr;, be has not benz;nc
s:nca TncJes,.,,. Ur,,LJ
,1, ,, s,
Wheii iiiairi" MIN wv "as
prlseu y. MS wiz WIN ;i, MS sa ' ,an;nns nlu
.ne pretty e,i'a". ~ on1ie'I
SINCE ne rushei oa' u, ',ic ne nosJ oL''u % u;.h H"
@ his na.I I;s snve' I liz so; hn ,n' womtsd :" say
tha roots ar,bow Vnry;storn U,roId
nv, C,.: y,,.., ,., su,oL. of
.,,I ne on'aso 10y = a., 80, :,
tiie 1'appnS .,,Ia,o y
nov n "'ou. 1..;, 'no o."pPi"e e,har.ve coma to
,""' III,
4, ueu anu '"A'" '''' '''''''' '''''' ''"''
'heni'
His heart was III the right place, he
thought, as ne drew the ace from his
sleeve. Twas diamond cut diamond, put
tie 0'hcr en'ioiei was 70" III III. w., ~,
anu ~ hiio' mn 1''t "''i -
tneh LOON sPaoo anu '"i''" '''--''
Ne''o"yPoT He'""-
A young man Who hal commenced tell
ing splus,rr VIA KIND OF tea he liked
best said, 81 have loved oo-lonS. Inc
maiden turned scarlet and declared that
she would not be made the subject OF
puns at this age OF life. Boston I'n'eF.
The London Standard refused to pub
lish report of the university sports be-
cause some OF the committee were disconr-
teous to the reporter. We do these Things
better in America. The reporter holds
his peace. writes fine account OF the
affair, and spells the names of the COM
mittee wrong. H'tadciphia News.
"You want TO be free from whatever
c;ve, von snnovonce s,iJ the doctor To
tha - NOR ..frao fr,,m all causes of
,rorrv onJ n.rvous excitement from
o,ar;,th;n1 tI,,t terJs f., nro,Iucc mental
claimed the patient. sitting bolt upright
Ill Dcu uhu 'iiSPihS hiH lio''' -