Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1881-03-30
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HE WANTED BIG WORDS


i wanted to see the man who writes
the editorials for his paper, said an in
dividual who looked like. a cross be-
tween store clerk and a job preacher.
I mean your regular big gun, your
sledge hammer heavy weight, so to
speak. The one who writes those thick
solid leaders that nobody understands.
Them kind with four sylIables in 'em,
you know
Well, sir, said the editor and chief,
laying down his pen and shutting up
MS dictionary, what can do for you y
why replied the stranger, as be
TOOK out twenty and laid it on the
desk, i want you to give me the worth
oil that inbig words-regularj jawbreak-
ers; just the toughest old toothlooseners
you can get up for the money!
You don't want them for some other
paper !! said the editor suspiciously.
Oh, no. not at all. Let me explain.
You see, | belong to one of the debating
societies up in Marysville. OF course.
we haven't got much city style up
there, but we manage to make q great
deal of noise sometimes.'
Shouldn't wonder, said the editor.
we have some mighty lively de-
bates, I can tell you. The Other day
they got up sort of tournament be-
tween the two societies. The question
was: Resolved, That bedbugs donot
bite Cinnamon Magnificent subject
now, wasn't it? 1855
HAS considerable bearing on the fu-
ture of the State, / admit said the
moulder of public opinion, screwing up.
the shears.
We'll, you see, we werejust walking
right away from the other fellows who
had the affirmative, when q new mem
ber of their crowd-a fellow just up
from the city-got up and said that the
bedbug didn't bite the Chinaman be-
cause If he did the result would be- let's
see; I've got it down here on piece Of
paper. Oh, yes Instantaneous pyro-
lingneous asphyxiation.'
what did he mean p
L don't know-nobody knows.
That's just what's the matter. 1t
knocked all our fellows perfectly cold
just paralyzed the entire crowd. We
hadn't another word to say, and the op-
position society carried the day and
went home grinning like watermelons
with one slice OUT
That was annoying
you bet it was. Just think of the
meanness Of that cuss of springing .
couple of words like that on Marysville
audience. Why lit was terrible. OF
course we did the best we could to get
even. Well, the next Saturday we had
another strong subject: Resolved
That compelling chickens to drink hot
water will cause them to lay hard boil
ed eggs So / braced up and said
that 1 once had game rooster that
died of curvilinear cantagas pholobia.
We'll it did for moment, you better
believe. Their crowd turned white
around the gills fora moment but when
our fellows had done cheering, that
same fellow-bis name is Gufferson,
and he used to be some sort Of pro-
fessor once, / hear; that same fellow
got up and said that, while he largely
with the gentleman who had
just sat down, probably the most serious
obstacle in the way of utilizing orni-
biological intelligence was the tendency
of the species toward hysterialarynxia
pologolomehcoughemia.,
Great Scottp
You may well say so. Of course
that just knocked us square of our pins
--wilted US right down-the audience
decided for the opposition side without
taking a vote. l believe that if Guffer-
son hadn't gone home that night es-
corted by Bill Stokes-that's our police
force, you know-some ofour members
would have assassinated him.
Il should think assassination would
De very multitudenous down your way
Multitudcnous-that's no slouch Ola
word just let me take it down. Yes.
t was q regular Waterloo defeat for
,ur club. So the next day they sub
,crbed twenty dollars and the expenses
If committee of one to come right
lown to Frisco and get hold of lot
If words calculated to make coal rattle
n the cellar when they are left of, and
o cause that Gufferson to wish he'd
lever been born. Now, come, what
.an you do for me Dern the expense
And as the managing editor has
aiken day off and lugged home the
,ffice Verbal Roots, we confidently ad-
Use our subscribers at Mayrsville to
axe to the foot hills before the comis-
ioner returns. Property will be very
heap in that section shortly, If our ed.
tor knows himself
Before the days of DR.. Bulls Cough
syrup, q person troubled with q cough
lways consulted his physician. Now
e only invests 25 cents and is cured
fter q few doses.
The popular belief is that there are
lore females than males in our popula-
ion. The fact is that there arc more
Zen than women-or, to be more ex-
ct, more males than females. In the
o, 1852, 1856 of our population under the
ensus of 1880, there are 25.520,5s2
GALES and 1852, 2s4 females-a diff
srence of 9SS, 29S in favor of the lords
creation, so-called. In the thickly
ettled States the softer sex is in the
scendency, while in the new States
nd in the Territories the contrary is
be case. In Pennsylvania, for in
tance, there are l0,4S4 more women
han men, while in Arizona, Idaho.
lontana, Nevada or Wyoming there
re two men to one woman.
FLoRIcULTURE.-Among the many
uides and helps issued annually by our
Seedmen and Florists, treat
ng on this beautiful art, none is moro
lear, none more tastefully illustrated
nd gotten up than Nellis' Floral In
tructor, which we have just received