The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1881-07-02
ddit and 9umur.
Oroqueters on the Crisis.


The night before last the Utica Croouet
Club-composed entirely of young ladies
held its second meeting for the season
OF 1881. Two new members were admit
ted, and proposals for membership were
made. The committee on resolutions
made their expected report. The resolu-
tions were written on scented paper and
penned with violet ink. After the busi-
ness of the evening had been finished the
young lady sitting on the ottoman sud-
denly exclaimed:
ooh, my Girls, did you hear about
Conkling?"
"No. What is it?" said the four misses
on the settee in one breath.
"Why, he's resignedr'
Resigned to what. Has he been dan
gerously sick?" said the secretary.
"No, no. Can't you understand? He
has given up his senatorship."
Goodness graciousl Ain't that to bad?"
Chow much did he get for it?" queried
the girl with the album in her lap.
"Why, you silly thing; you ought to
read the newspapers. Senator Conkling
got dissatisfied with something in Wash.
ington and resigned bis Office into the
hands of Gov. Cornell. There was mis-
understanding between him and the Presi
dent about some man named Rob-Robert
-Roberts-Let me see. Robinson-No,
that amt it. Oh, yes-Robertson. Dear
suzl They say the whole country is in
crisis.
Il read all about that, said the presi-
dent of the club, knowingly. "Senator
Conkling and this Robertson had some
kind of fuss-while they were trying
lawsuit. Come to think, Mr.. Conkling
wanted to give him some instructions and
Robertson wouldn't have it. Then the
President appointed Robertson to collect
money in some ward in New York city"
"That wasn't it" interrupted the first
speaker. ''The President told Mr.. Rob-
ertsou to stand at some lock-a deadlock
they call it-and see that the canal boat
captains paid their tolls. The man who
was put out of job by Mr.. Robertson
getting the situation used to go to school
with Mr.. Conkling."
"What | want to know" said a young
lady, sis how could the President order
these men around so ? Didn't l read in
paper the other day that Mr. Conkling was
the boss?'
"My sakes that's funny" calculated
the secretary. 81 heard my brother say it
was man named Blaine, who came here
from Canada, and wanted to run the whole
country, who caused the disturbance.
The President made this Blaine present
of a cabinet organ, and then he never
stopped begging until he had got whole
set Of furniture too. That made the other
men who didn't get anything jealous"
"What were the guns firing for to-day?"
asked the girls on the settee.
You see, the Senate helped Robertson
to get this job, answered the first speaker,
''and the halfbreeds were SO glad they
borrowed some cannons"
"Who are the halfbreeds Indians?
II am not sure, but don't think they
are They must have come here when the
canal opened"
"Girls, exclaimed the president of the
meeting, "do you know | think that firing
was a real battle? read in the paper
last week about the war on the President
Isn't it awful ?"
"And | saw how the bomb struck"
"0h those horrid half breeds ejacu-
lated FIVE voices at once.
AYES" continued the president, sand |
believe they are going to be commanded
by that Gen. Malone, who came to Wash
ington with red shirt on and tried to
scare everybody"
Pm going home, f4iatly said the sec
rotary.
"Let US all 90, said the girls on the
settee.
"oh, Ihope we wont meetany half-breeds.