St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1881-05-07
MRS. SP0OPENDYKES IDEA
OF A DEADLOCK.
(BroskIyr Eagle.]

My dear, said Mrs. Spoop"n.
dyke. holding u piece of lace to her
over-skirt. and wondering whether
she had better plait it on or full it
in; my dear, who is this Congress
man Luck who has just died?'
What Congressman Lock- ask
ell Mr. Sponpendyke.
Why. l read in the paoer this
morning that they couldn't do any
business because of the dead Mr..
Lock. Did yen know ni,n?'
That ain't u Congressman, said
Mr.. Spoopendy ke. 'You read that
there was dead lock in the Sen
ate. Wasn't that it?'
Yes. and / read 1T all through.
and when I found that Mr.. Cork
ling felt SO bad about it, / thought
that hIr. Lock must be Congress
uinu.'
No he isn't either. The dead
lock means that the Democrats and
Republicans can't agree
Nond gracious! Have they had
another falling ont? I shouldn't
think the Republicans would fsh'
the poor Democrats anE more.
What have they been doing now?'
'rhey haven't been daing any
thug. Senator Malone. of Eir-
.inia, went over to the republicans
and
i see interrupted Mrs. Spoop
endyke. and Mr. Conkling won;
have him confirmed. Though ]
can't understand Why they shonld
interfere with MIR. Mahone's re-
Iigion. If the poor man wants to
Join the church, l.
who wants to joia the church:
Who's . church? Think Mr.. Conk.
ling's bishop? Got an i,lea he's
au altar S'pose he's dul-gasted
chapel. with Ivy all over him. and a
spike f.uee and chime Of bells:
It's Stanley Matthews he dun'1
want confirmed.
II read about him, too" replied
Mrs. Spoopendyke. He's MIR. Gar.
fields collector, isn't hep"
"No. he ain't. That's judge
Robertson. Mr.. Garfield wants
Judge Robertson for collector, and
Mr.. ConkIing IS opposed tn him.
Il don't see why he Rhonld be
Though of coarse / should snppos.
Mr. Garfield would rather have q
man like Mr.. Malone, who is so.
ing into the church"
"Where's your sense?' snorted
Mr. Spcoprndyke. What dye
want to NIX things mp for? Try.
ing to make Il srab-bag of promi
neut Americans? Stanley Matthews
is n candidate for judge. Mr.. Ma
hone is u Senator, and Robertson
is appointed collector, but like Mat
.hews, hasn't been confirmed. Can
you see through that?'
"Of course understand that
but I don't see any excuse for Il sht
ing the Democrats, unless the.
think that Mr.. Robertson woulo
collect money from Mr.. Mahone
and Mr.. Matthews would send hin
to jill. III that c;lse it"
.Iu that case 1T would take yot
t. straighten 'em ont?" squealet
Mr.. Spoopendyke. "What're tryin.
to get mp now, an idiot asylum
Are you planni1 K for II murder AM
trying to get up an INSANITY plea
Whit dye think Robertsons going
to collect. hens? Got a notion thn
Matthew's is a penitentiary. sittin;
around to be leased ont? ImaSin
Mahuun to Le the national debt
Well they aiu'i; the. re men. | tel
We. Men with legs, and MI
Spoopend:ke kicked nut both III
own foot handles by way of filin,tra
,iun. "Conklins is opposed to Mat
thaws and Robertson. He says the.
shan't be confirmed. but he is
friend of Malone
.'Tnat's what ! didn't see sal
Mrs. Spoopendyke. I'm glad MI
Mahoue will teach them to repen
their sins ard not fly in the face q
Providence. I'm glad Mr. Couk
ling is a good Epi-copalian.
On :! LES pruyer-book, howie
Mr.. Spoopendyke. You've fuun
him ont! You have got him! A
he wau,s is u re,l cushion and rae
nailed up in front of him to be
l Ia..<.i.I IAsix,