The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1881-05-12
PITH AND POINT.
HAT made the bridal trip?

PITH AND POINT.
WHAr made the bridal trip
ScooPED in-An grades Of sugar.
HARD to realize Borrowed money.
O. WATCHED pot never boils" over.
The drum. major is the :" display head
Of brass band.
WHISKY is the iveliest "still'- born
child on record.
For thirty years the silver Scent
pieces have bred emotional profanity.
The poor ye have with. you al
ways, but the rich go away in summer
time.
A KENTUCKY company insures whisky,
but declines to take fire risks on the
consumers.
WEATHER prophecy-When you see
two cats on the woodshed looking each
other in the eye and waving their tails,
it is sign of a squat.
IT PUT outside my window large
box filled with mold, and sowed it
with seed. What do you think came
up?" "Wheat, barley, or oats p
No-a policeman, who ordered me to
remove it.
CHOW, George, you must divide the
cake honorably with your brother
Charles "What is honorable, moth
err" ct means that you must give
him the largest piece" "Then,
mother, I'D rather Charley would di-
| vide it."
CONVERSATION between two French
girls: The older-"I think mamma
ought to be ashamed of treading al
ways on our heels and watching us so
carefully The younger fact
is, she'd just make us want to be wick
ed-if we weren't thinking Of it all the
time.'
A GIRL heard her father criticised Sc
verely across dinner table. The care
less critic paused moment to say:
81 hope he is no relative of yours,
miss p Quick as thought she replied
with the utmost nonchalance: stOnly
connection Of my mothers by mar
riage."
TEACHER :" Now, Robby, what is the
plural Of mouse?" Robby-' Dol nom
M Teacher Why, Robby, I'm sur
prised. The plural of mouse is mice.
Don't forget that now. Robby--
Nom" Teacher Now tell me what
is the plural Of house" Robby-
"Hice.''
WRECKED IN PORT.
! "Ah ha |" said Jones, 81 billet doux!
| know from some sweet maiden, fair;
| Methinks it bears perfume now,
| Straight from the breath of kisses rare
| %. know IFS rash
It's sacrilege to break the seal
OF this white envelope that WI sps-
And yet, to who It's 30 ea
! fain will open it-perhaps
| I've made mash 1"
| 1t read: Dear sir-You owe this bar
| An Z, and must have my pay;
You've hung me up too long, by far;
| And III not wait another day
| I'm talking cash ="
Petroleum World.
"DEACoN," said the widow, as she
stroked in feline manner the maltese
tabby that evidently lay in her lap for
that purpose, ;"don't you long for spring,
with it's balmy breath, it's warm sun
shine and it's gentle showers, which
awaken nature and put life into every
thing that has laid cold ard dead during
the long winter, and bring everything
up out Of the cold, cold ground into light
and life?' Well, hardly, widow" re-
sponded the deacon; "you know buried
my second wife last fall
The following reached the New Or
leans Picdy4rae with the request that it
should be published as an advertise
ment: want ahOuse ceaper one that
knowes how to ceap ahouse in it's proper
manor one that will help makal aliving
and that is well respected in good So
ciety with good education but not thro-
graduate with some property SO that it
will amount to one Thousen dollars or
more medium sise girl but not to ex-
ceade Twentythree years off age, as that
is my age I am amedium Size man with
darck hair small gray eyes small eyers
and round face worth about TWothousen
dollars with no bad habits Young girls if
you want to marry and think you will
i fill the place write to me for [ mean
what I say. Direct to-, etc.
/ A COLORADO physician sends the fol-
lowing: Gone bitter cold night, early
in the winter, I had call to visit pa
tent about thirty five miles distant, the
trail lying over an uninhabited plain.
vast tracts of which were inclosed in
fences of three wires, fastened to cedar
posts. We entered one of these ranches,
as they are called here, through a gap
left for the purpose, and after short
time the trail was entirely obliterated
by the snow. No shelter was near. and
we wandered about for some time, when
[ remarked to my driver, an old timer
that the advantage OF being inside
rancho Of 5000 or 5000 acres, inclosed
by wire fence, was not very apparent,
as we had lost our way all the same.
Lime-Preseryed Wood.
Lime has been found successful as a
wood preserver. The method, which is
French, consists in piling the planks in
a large tank, then covering them with