Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1881-11-28
An Eloquent Appeal.

Calamity lS tha name OF a m al Eh0 lgaa at
tho gold canp Of Cummins City. He has ar-
other namo. bat nobody seems to know Whist it
is. |! has been tora oif the wrapper some wy,
aud so the boys call him Calamity He is &
msu Of singular mind and eccentric censlruc
ton. Tho mosi noticesble feature about Ca
smitY IS his suDerstitiCus dread Of muscular 40
tiSity, Some people will not tackle any kind
OF enterprise on Friday. Oslanity is even more
the victim OF the vague superstition, ard has
dread OF beginning Wolk on any day of the
week, tor fear that some disaster may befal
hID. Last spriog ha had q little domestic
trouble. end Lls wife made o3mplaiat that Ca
l,mily hnd worn out sn old long handled shovel
on her. trying to convince her about some at
sruse theory of his. The testimoney seemed
rather against Calamity, aDd the miners told
him that IS soon ss they got over the rush
little, and had little leisure. they would have
to hang him, They hopsd be would take &C.
vsotage of the hurry Of business aod 60 away.
beoiuso they didn't waot to habg bin 80 early
in the season. But Calamity dda't 20 away.
HI stayed because il was eGsier to s.ay than 20.
He did not. OF ojui5e, pine for the notoiiatY of
being the first mau hlrg ia tho youag camp.
but rather than pull up stakes and movo awty
from place where !hcro werc 80 mauy pleas
nnt associations be c,Ecudad to ssa7 AID
neet dcsth calmly, 10 Whstcvsr iosm it might
come. One evening, Gfior tho work Of
the day was done and he boy5 had eaten
their suppers. one OF thcm suggested that it
would bs go1d liE;o to hsIg Calamity. So
they got thugs 10 shspa aud weut down to tho
Big Laramie bridge. Calamity vas gi;h them.
They get things ready fer the exercises to be-
ei1. and then asked the victim if hs had any
thing to say. He looscned the rcps rrouod his
uecS little with one hand, go that be could
speak With mora freedom, aad holding bis pat
taloons % with the other said "Gsutemeo of
the convcbtiou. I os!l 90 you to Ti,ness tbat
this public demonstration toTard no ia onlirely
ursousht On my part. have pever cousted
notoriety. Plugging along in comparative ot-
souri!y is good enough for ne. This is the
first time ever sddreeaed sn audience. T6is
| Is why am embarrassed aud i'll at casa. You
hs7a brought mo here to bang me because
seemed harsh aad severe With my wife. You
have entered the haIlowed preseaos of ICY
| homo life and assumed the prerogatirs OF sub
writing my household discipline. It is wall.
| do not caro- tn 1.-Two 40 loag rs Dy authority ia
questioned You will have already changed
EV submissive wife to 90 arrogant and self
defaot woman. Yesterday told her to 50 out
aGu SteuSo tuo weSUus huu 51S bs[RlEQtGQGQ I'd
to Ger tul height ard told mo to 90 aod grease it
myself l have always been kind ard thoughts
fol 10 her. When she had to 20 up isto
Tho guch in tho Hintsr after freToo6
! my coss shielded her from the storm while sat
slona ia the cabin through The long hours, I
could name oihsr inslsnces OF unselashne.s on
my part, but will not take up ycu, .ims. she
| uses my smoking tobacco end kicss my vets.
! bro up into my hat on the most unlooked.tor
occasions. She Goes not love me auy moro. and
lie to no is only hollow mookery. Death,
with liz wide waste Of etarnRl csm, and its
shoreioss sea of regt. is glad relief TO me- 90,
but leave in your midst skittsh and able
hodiod widow, who will make lone howl. I
| bequoslh her to this cs!np. She ia yours, per.
| temen. Eho is oil have to give, but in giving
! her to you feel that my uptiinely death will
| always DO looked upon 10 this gulch as y diro
calamity. Tho day will come when you viii
| look back upon this awful night and wisn that I
was alive again. tu! it will be too late. l will
| DO fer away. Ny soul will bs in land whore
domestic inielcity and cold feet can never enter.
Bury me at the foot of Vinegar Hill, where the
| sage han and the fuzzy bunblebee msy zsnbol
o'er my loWly grave" When Calamity had
tnlshod, an impromp.u CAUCUS was cslled,
When it was adjourned Calamity went homo TO
his cabin 10 surprise his wife. Sha hs7 not vet
|, fully recovered from his surprisc.