Smyrna times., 1881-06-29
Current Comment.
PHILADELPHIA EVENING NEWS

Bernhardt says American women arc
charming, but the men are not 50 nice 40
the women. Our views exactly.
LABOR Is SO scarce in the country now
'hat poor tramp cannot ask for thing
without running serious risk of being
offered work.
People should be careful to use onIvtbo
olu-iaShloned sulphur matches on the 4tb
Inc other kind are too noisy for the M.
tional holiday.
recipe Tor becoming aesthetic: One die
'iollary OF art terms, three oil paintings
ana job lot of old crockerv ware. Nix
No brains required.
n peddler OF the revised edition of the
new testament was chased out of TOWN
oy the pious women of Weldon. Iowa
They evidently thought he got it nm him
self
The Pittsburg Commercial grimlv ro
marks; The fight at Albany has now
lasted hive weeks without sending any
body either to the United States Senate or
the penitentiary"
Charles A. Dana was working on a sal
ary OF 50 per week when he married and
ana he Is now worth half million. Nor
al: BE sure of the old mans bank ac-
count, then go ahead.
a Cincinnati law student named Fred
erlck Swarz has been rendered deaf bv
smoking cigarettes and blowing the smoke
through his nostrils The nicotine par
alyzed the auditory nerves.
The high moral character of all news
paper men is well illustrated by the fact
that when editorial associations 90 on
their annual pleasure excursions the mem
bers are invariably accompanied by their
wives.
Franklin's success with the kite experi-
ment was largely due to the fact that
there were no telegraph wires in those
days for the kite to get wrecked on.
Probably the old philosopher never tho't
of that
2 There have been fourteen murders in
1 New Orleans within six months and not
l.. one conviction. If compelled to visit that
: city keep your eyes open. 1t is not con-
v sidered impOlite to dodge bullets when
you can,
A colOred man recently bid as high as
$1,000 on racer against Lorillard in Ken
lucky. This will do more to diminish
race prejudice in Kentucky than all the
> amendments that could be tackled on to
= the Constitution.
, Not many tourists go to shed tears on
X the tomb of Washington and the mana
II gers OF Mount Vernon propose to open
u deer park as an attractiOn.-Er. If
; that won't work a burlesque troupe and
q beer garden might be tried.
r Marry only in your own religiOn.-Er.
II As it takes good many men lifetime to
le find out what kind of religion they pre-
y fer such advice would rather tend to in
r crease the number of old bachelors.
Of Marry into some religion" would be
I. better.
One-third of the deaths in Philadelphia
&c are from consumption. One of the causes
NJ of consumption is wet feet, one of the
~, causes of wet feet is water-soaked pave
10 ments; the only cause of wet pavements
:, is the failure of the authorities to enforce
- existing ordinances.
. Miss Minnie Palmer, the actress, is under
- contract with her manager, not to marry
y for five years, $1,000 forfeit being the bind
~ ing force. Her manager is a fatherly
'' kind of individual and is determined that
Minnie shall not marry until she has earn
OF ed enough to support a husband comfort
IS ably.
y,
IS, A Newark man is under arrest for kill
is ling his wife and baby while intoxicated.
d. The succeeding chapters will probably be
We as follows: Chapter 2, long wait; chapter
in 3, more waiting; chapter 4, trial after
in everybody has forgotten the case; chapter
d. 5, sympathy and bouquets; chapter G.,
verdict-''temporary insanity" chapter Z,
another spree.
re An Oil City man, who suspected his
of servant girl was in the habit of using
is kerosene for kindling, put little nitro
in glycerine in the oil can, as a test. Con-
he trary to expectation, nothing happened,
1t. but a day or two later the girl came
50, around and asked him to subscribe some
thing toward buying a new stove for her
poor old mother, as the old one had fallen
ay to pieces.-OH City Derrick.
ed 1t is very evident that this world badly
10, needs little practical common sense in
to the administration of its affairs. Listen
be to the philosopher of the Detroit Free
Press: "There are not more than three
thousand professional burglars in America
ON and vet to keep them out of our homes
n. we pay s5OOO,O0O year for locks, bolts
in and fasteners. Ten thousand dollars q
: . niece a wear would hire them to be good"
he
ed Mr.. Orlando Weatherbee, says an ex-
change of ours, proprietor The Spencer