Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1881-04-21
Anmuruus 9epattment.
READING THE RECIPE.


Old Mrs. Jones borrowed Mrs. Browns
recipe for making watermelon pickle the
other day, and, being hard of hearing, as
she couldn't see to read very veil, she got her
grandson jake to read it for her. jake
took the paper, like dutiful child, and,
holding it upside down, commenced:
Take green Watermelon"
"Why, Jake, amt you mistaken I thought
the melon must be ripe"
"Oh, what's the matter wild yew Gew ever
see watermelon that wusn't green ?"
"Cat the watermelon into four halves"
"But there amt only two halves to any
thing. don't believe you are reading that,
jake"
"Well, I don't have to, anyhow that's
what the reseet says. Then soak it in pint
cup" .:
"Oh, dear me! How in the world can you
put watermelon in pint cup?"
"Well, / amt here to tell the whereases
and howfores. I'm just readin' the facts and
you can put in the 6losofee to suit your taste.
After soakin' the melon put it in skillet and
fry it fur five days."
II wonder if Mrs. Brown sent me such
recipe as that ?" said the old lady !; but
jake kept on:
"Then put the watermelon in quart bowl
and pour over it gallon of vinegar, taking
care. not to spill the vinegar"
"Id just like to know how you can pour
gallon into quart bowl without spilling
any of it ;" but jake continued:
Then sift peck of red pepper through a
milk strainer over the melon, and to one cup
h,,kk A. ool holl
Of three eggs, and throw in the old hen that
laid them, and four sticks of cinnamon drops
aud two tablespoonfuis of quinine and run it
through coffee mill and let it stand until it
ferments, and then put it in tin can and tie
the can to dogs tail-this will stir it up to
the right consstency-and then you can turn
it off in crooks and have it ready for use. Serve
it cold and spread it on mince pie and il
makes capital dessert" Jake slid out of the
door and left the old lady looking like g
wrinkle on monument.
A ROBUST IMAGINATIoN.-Judge Carey
showed the greatest interest in these weirc
tales and edged up to the group.
"These ere curious yarns, gentlemen, but
believe them all. had dog once, back il
Nebraska, that i kept to herd lumber"
"Beg pardon Judge; did you say the dog
herded lumber?"
Eyes, sir; cottonwood boards. We al
ways kept dog there to bring the lumber il
at night"
Everybody now paid the closest attention
as they knew that the boss was at work.
ut was this way. Cottonwood board
warp like thunder in the sun. A board
would begin to hump its back up about
o'clock in the morning and in half an houl
it would turn over. By II it would WARP
the other way with heat and make another
flop. Each time it turned.it moved couple
\ of feet, always following the sun toward the
West. The first summer lived in Brown
vile over 10000 feet of lumber skipped ou
to the hills the day before had advertised s
house raisin'. went to the county seat tc
attend lawsuit and when I got back there
wasn't stick of lumber left. It had strayeo
away into the uplands. An ordinary board
would climb two-mile hill during ho
week, and when it struck the timber it would
keep worming in and out among the trees
like garter snake. Every farmer in the
State had to keep shepherd dogs to follow
his lumber around the country, keep it to
gether, and show where it was in the morning
We didn't need any fumes there for lumber
We sawed it East of the place we wanted tt
use it, and let it warp itself to its destination
with men and dogs to head it of at the righ'
time; We never lost stick. Well, here
comes the jury" continued the Judge. "The
witnesses lied so guess they will disagree. -
Carson Gtu ADpeuL.