The Dillon tribune., 1881-07-02
~ &he xid<.

rap was orc Of the first individuals who
.-.:vcrtsi his Eonucc,ion." BOSTON Com
,,.r.:ial Bullctin.
'Longttl!nw wears his tt,rk coat butt.,ncd
- the chin 'rh: question now is, who
,.>:wcd tho button OH the facial cxtrclnitv !:
louisville Courier Journal.
The Government has spent $.so,uoo in
Investigating the locust, army worm amt
.rasshorr~r. and the cnly result thus tar
reported is that none ot them wear spcct.,-
lies.
\ little five tar.old, hearing his father
LAY that II certain man as unable to "kccp
.i,c wolf from tire d.x,r," wanted to know
Why the man didn't sheet it.-Norristown
Herald.
"Wlat is the greatest charge on rccord:"
asked the professor Of history. And the
absent. minded student answered: "Scven.
'..cn dollars f;m the hack hire for self and
girl tor two hours Boston Post.
IT shall .lic." said IN old English doctor.
lie other day, "un.ler the firm belief that
human science will vet lcnxti,en the years
Of life from the average Of 70 to 100" That's
What we're waiting for.
They say tina, General Sherman has II
great weakness for wanting to kiss all the
,,uny and pretty girls he meets. Great
minds must run in the same channel; give
i, your paw, General. South Ken.uck-
IN.
Lord Denna, !, 4 London "trank" has dis
covered that his horse Is ncarsighted, and has
+. pair Of spectacle> adjusted across its nose.
Now, IA horse viii, q sun bonnet and pair
OF >pectacles must look dignified aud ma
ro,,ly..--New Haven Register.
MA exclaimed the 10, gazing into the
tack yard, where the young lady next door
..:.> talking to his sister. ''c"mc and look
1T the bonfire She came and looked, and
then exclaimed: my son, that isn't bon
tire; that's sprin: bonnet. --Rrookly Ign
:.s!..
Mr.. Fuwcctt, the Postmaster General Of
England employs deaf and dumb persons
! sort papers III the po,tofiices. What is
needed in this country !. a corps Of blind
assistant, to sort postal cards. Employees
,,ith pertvc.. visual organs ti,,l the work
10 exhausting.
Mrs. Caroline Norto, was ut \ charity
Fair hantcring Lord Suffolk to buy some
'rfie at an exorbitant price. "DM't you
now said his Lordsl,ip. defending him
elf fccb,y, shat am the prodhyal SOM
No." was the answer, Il thought you were
&C fattcd calf
During tho conference at - the TO-
wing dialogue was overheard between
40 ncwsboys: II say Jim. what's the
meaning Of So many ministers being here
t.yethcr?" why" answered Jim, .corntu'
y, "they always m :et once year to CIV
.lianse sermons with cac, ot!,c,."
s.Trust men and they will !. true ia
w." saws Emerson. We showed this t. Il
spectacle grocer. lie grew livid with
,s., seized club. AMI wanted to know
where that Emerson Teller lived, anyhow
her. was murder in that gr,ccr's eye.
". lii not tell him Boston Transcript.
Jos was Il patient, q, erfal man. hut a
.,c~ York Photographer says the Hebrew
s..rthy never had to get down to an office
',.ilv, and select Jokes. Gran, eight columns
ni im:,urtant matter int" two columns o'
.;ac. write puff, ON toilet soap. ard coffin,
"a >?!it poets on tn, banistcr fos $40 l"':
TX.
An absent minded mon IN Monroe
..onn. went to churrl, one morning with
lis ov REQ i on his arm, as Inc suppose |; hut
.ughtcr OF the. people in church attracted
,is attention to the f;ut thn nc had taken
MS everyday pantaloo"s, and that the sus.
,.,pen.i.rs attached II ih,m werr dang
ing about his legs.
One OF the churches in Patchosuc, l.. |.
las made novel addition to its music b,
Introducing into the church two dozen ca
t,ary birds in cages. They sing with the
.l,or and also when the choir is not sing.
my, and tn .ir ,nu ic is not complained OF b.
the u, Mister OF the congregational New
York Sun.
To widow r is i, true that YOU arc 30
~. to marry again Il: Is very true.
And whom do YOU !na.rv::' M, dead
wig, sister, us she hand>o,n::" no
,.Ricl,:" .NM very" "rhen VIII. have
,,u chosen herr" ~" tell You the truth
NV dear friend. in . der no: to chang my
=, ,thcr.in !aw."---l'ari> lournh.
The latest popular GRAZ. is t""ccn
,c.i >t,,,ni, ani a Oh c.nt blue stamp on 4
,hi,c envelope. This i especially tn cor
Get thin, wl,.r: Young Ladies and gentle.
,aen correspond. The blending ot the col
.ss. rc.l, white aud l,!us. means union. it a!>t
means that the vari,.ya,cd billet -.."u>. be
N. prcpor al, will go through. - Low :.
courier.
TIL. nc ,pl,: D.. New H.np>l,irc tow,
arc so iy;.riul!v lazy that wien the wife "
+. miui>,c, who had just settled in that TOW,
.,k.d prominent citizen ii the inhabitants
general, respected the Sabbath and ~
trained from business. he replied: "Cm
found il, mi. am. they don't Il" enough
a .rt il, a wlnl, ,.cck +, break til. Sas'batl