The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1881-02-24
CONGRESSIONAL AIRS.
What Took the Frills out Of a Newly Elected
Member,

What Took the Frills out of Newly Elected
Member.
[Fom the San Francisco POST
He was a shrewd, white-headed old
gentleman tourist who sat slipping a
lemonade in the Baldwin bar-room the
other day, and who remarked, as self
important looking individual came in
and ordered a whisky straight;
s'pose that gentleman is one of
your business fellows, and owns about
tWo-thjrds Of the real estate round
here
"No,'' we replied, C he's a much
greater parsonage. lie is one of the
successful candidates of the late
election
might have known it'' exclaimed
the old gentleman, emphatically. Gle
acts just as did when was elected to
congress-.
g How was that p
$ Well, you see, I was elected M. c..
from the Fourth district just after the
war. We had a pretty lively campaign
of it, and as I had never been in
politics before somehow got the idea
that the whole country had quit work
and Was watching my contest with
quivering anxiety. Every time the
other side accused me of being a
chicken thief, or a bigamist, or some
thing, and I'd back at them with card
in the RedDille Warwhoop, headed !:
Another Lie Nailed! I'D send a
marked copy to every leading paper in
the country
:sDid you?''
es and [ was Disguised to find
they never paid the slightest attention
to me either. What surprised me
most was that, although I kept the
president and cabinet advised Of every
thing that occurred, I never got the
slightest sympathy from any of them.
/ was an administration man, too, and
/ thought it was blamed singular"
s'Didn't notice you at all?'
'sNOt at all, sir; and when I was
elected, and the boys lighted bon
fire in the main street, and serenaded
me, and spoke six hours in the open
| air as to my future course on the tariff
and finances, the New York papers
merely said that, "a Mr.. Gum had
been elected by small majority my
name being Gonley, as you know
THAT was hard
Well, I put that all down to envy
and malice, and started for Washing
| ton. / respected that at least the speak
er of the house and a committee ap-
pointed by the senate would be down
at the depot to welcome me to the
capitol
"They did so?''
ssThe only persons that met me
were a committee Of hackmen, who
tore my overcoat half off, rammed me
into hack, and robbed me, with the
aid and assistance of the hotel clerk,
| who then gave me dark room on the
board in advance; said it was the rule
of the house with Arkansas members.
''The impudent rascal.
That's what thought. Well, the
next morning got away from the
bed-bugs as well as I could, and went
up to the white house to see if the
president would like to stroll down to
the house to introduce me and see me
sworn in. I sent up my card, and in
an hour or two some secretary or other
sent back word that the president was
at breakfast and couldn' be bothered. -
That was pretty short, WASH t it 2"
! S'Well, was dumfounded. However
] went down to the capitol and told
| the sergeant-at-a arms to go in and an
! nounce to the members that had ar
| rived. He grlnned and said: That's
| devlish good, that Isl and rushed off.
I expected that Of course the members
| would come croWding up to congratu-
Z a mo nVo6 GOV S11n
| magnificent speech of yours, that last
one, Gonley. Beat EN- by forty eight
votes, too, old fellow. and then mebbe
they d give me three cheers, and all
! that sort Of thing"
| And did they 81
No, sir; I hope may never stir
if they didn t give me back seat in
the cloak-room until my name was
called, and door-keeper fred me out
into the corridor on the impression
that was a lobbyist. Well, after I
had been put on the joint committee
on spittoons and window washing, and
spent a couple months trying to wedge
in my great four-hour speech on the
match tax, something occurred that
| let down my check rein, and took all
the frills out of me for good.
g What was that =
g Well, I was taking a drive out to
the Soldiers Home one afternoon with
isthree other members when a light
| buggy went up like a streak Of creased
lightning. the trotter driven by a
solemn looking man in a rusty plug
hat, who was smoking a cigar and
steadying a small terrier on the seat
with his elbow. That's Butcher Boy.
said one of my companions with great