The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1881-08-17

| Anu Ill Cne weekly Columns SHOW
How small the sum of all they know"
I shall crp peccavi, and like the rest of tn,
world go on SHINING. CHATTY.
TOBIAS AT HOME AGAIN
Editor Democrat:-
Sunday is given to coming around
with such unvarying certainty ans
regularity as sometimes to be monot
onous. It has come this time witlIou,
the surroundings of fish and sulphu,
water, and finds your correspondent al
home, under his own wine and fir
tree" with his impaired health greatly
benefited and his emaciatcd form
slightly resuscitated and iuvigorated
by those powerful agencies Of health
and v;gor.
A SUGGESTION.
Perhaps you have studied enough oil
the sciences of Medicine and Physiol
ogy to know that the human brain
feeds itself upon the phosphorus
which is found in more or less abun.
dance in some of the substances taken
for bodily sustenance. Chief amongst
these and indeed, par excellence, the
brain food, is fish. 1t has occurred to
me that perhaps trip to some of our
Summer resorts and fish diet for a
year or such matter might, perhaps,
benefit one or more of the corrcspon-
dents Of the Express. "Ullam," for
instance, might hope by such course
to revive his dropping Intellectual
powers. But since came to think of
it, doubt if it would prove efficacious
in that instance, as phosphorus. pow
erful as it to revive and rrjuvinate,
cannot create. There is some hope
where there is basis upon which it
can operate, but his case is hopeless.
RESULTS.
am glad to asey that your "fair
friend" has resumed her name under
which l used to read aud admire her
sprightly communications to the Plea
yune, l think it was. 1t was some New
Orleans paper, at any rate, and before
the day of "Catherine Cole" with
whom she will not suffer by COMPARE
son. / see that the gallows is gone at
last. Besides having accomplished
that much to be desired result, her
letters to your paper have stirred
things up in a literary way, and they
are now quite lively. l believe that
even the butchers have been reformed
by the drubbing she gave them. It
seems to me that they are giving US
better beefsteaks. Not the least of the
remote and consequential results of
her letters to you is a local column in
the Express, which is devoted to other
matters than "soda crackers" oval
than Watches" milk punches" and
other choice morsels of local news of
general interest with which that COL
umn has heretofore been filed. Such
encouraging results should induce her
not only to continue, but to lengthen
her weekly letters.
"a SHORT HORSE Is SOON CURR1ED."|
"'Tobias' Catches 1t" is the preten-
tious head line of "Ullam's" first
"wrakly" effusion in Yesterdays Er. |
press. was little wrathy at first at
the mode Of attack and had determin
ed to go cunning for the scalp of that
scribbler, but l am natu-
rally of a mild and torgiving DISPOSE
ton and having slept or it / have de-
termined to give him the mild an
swer that turneth away WRATH" and to I
decline any further controversy with
an adversary whose idea of logic is , .
attack tho preacher while he adrfs E
the correctness and justice of ls1er- s
mon, and whose wit is of tllateeble d
order that requires italic types.o show d
It's pitb and point. l was opposed at t,
irst to think that my old me 1rlend, p
The Editor, was limselfP!ay'ng the o.
'olc of correspondent to As own paper, a
md thought that Ireognlzed the ear d.
marks, but then cor doded it couldn't Sc
70 him, as in bis e5aorial department &C
10 did me the h, or TO speak of the A
'corruscations gtmyl ms brilliant in
elect" 1t matter who it is, and la
would, butf1 r the italics, be in some ,!
opbt as tethe sex of the person, I S.
nroive tpm. might have said that
ne effo was feeble.-that the at. IA
,mpte wit was as ungcnerous as it III
~ rjust-that the ideas sought to ~,
e Shveyed thereby are out of place ~ ~
4 paper intended for family reading =,
That those same ideas certainly show. Cd
an evil mind when the subject IN. -
r discussion was the etiquette that Re
Duld govern the intercourse of pure NJ
nded gentlemen and rirtuous Ia. ed
IS. ] might truthfully have answer
that Tobias in his younger days sw
uld have scorDed such thoughts in ito
society he then frequeDted. I Del
ght have said that SO poor a cause am
badly championed was unworthy of !
reply might have said that his on
'sion onght to be found only in The a." 7
amns of the Police Gazette with an pa y
pirate surroundings of prurient dm a
ught and vulgar suggesuious--but p
say pone of those things. They kne
'bt offend the tender selsibi}itiea Of at !!
LAM" and wish to put myself on E
'rd as illustrating the "rarity of on
stan charity" by being an excep- amt
must, however, protest against the She
iliarity with which lie calls ma A
'cle Toby" He must remember ,1c
familiarity breeds cont.mpt.D NJ
J. too. to enter my disclaimer of
tlonship. l confne my a,kuowl- Sra
'ments of kinship to those only OFF
have the small and sbapdy an,
lar appendages of the thorourh.