The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1881-08-16
Seuse and eNnpse'rse.

There is one good thing about boy
when q circus is in town. You know
where to look for him.
The lecturer who was pelted with an
cient eggs had no difficulty in ascertain
ing the scents of the meeting
The yonng man who gave up drinking
to propitiate his girl wisely concluded
that miss is as good as smile.
Great men often possess the same pc
culiarities. Gen. Sherman and DIR. Mary
Walker both snore and eat onions.
An election is about, to occur in Ger
many, and It is reperleF that Bismarck
fears that he and his friends will be beat.
| en-.
Sleepless Man: "Whst is the bes,
way to kill cat2 "Auy way, any
wav, so that you make 8 sure thing o.
it,"
There is q good deal Of human nature
in a canary bird. He always begins to
chatter 80 soon as the piano begins to
play.
In Texas when man wants to com.
init suicide be steals horse, says biz
prayers and calmly awaits the inevitable
result
A young lady is giving whistling en-
tertainments in the oil regions Any
thing TO raise the wind during the dul
season.
Wbest is still advancing in price
Whether the advance is caused by {
scarcity or is speculative is not certainly
known.
What is it that the world is so con
sttuted that the things you want mos
are apt to be the things you ought NO
to have2
An exchange says that Won Moltkt
can get only three hours of sleep out o
the twenty-four. Perhaps Mrs, Vor
Moltke snores.
Beavers are. rapidly increasing in Cal
ifornia, and are damming the state al
most as much as some ofthe disappoint
cd politicians are.
1t was little hard to say of doctor
who was taking stroll in a churchyard
that he had gone to pay visit to some
of his old patients.
By the laws of Ohio il anybody is at
tackled on any highway by dog the
party has right to kill the dog, and the
owner can he held accountable for injury
inflicted by the animal.
A large establishment for the manu-.
facture of steel rails has been completed
at South Pueblo, in Colorado. Iron o.
very superior quality is found in the vi
cinity Of the works.
A. Chicago policeman lodged foul
bullets easy enough, but then got tired
and the fifth one fetched him. Even 9
policeman can't stand everything.
One reason why people do not visit
stores that do not advertise is because
they do not wish to disturb the boy who
is reading a novel behind tue counter.
The publication of weather probabili.
ties has its advantages. The man who
reads borrowed newspaper 10 the morn.
ing finds out when be should borrow an
umbrella.
A black bear endeavored to hug q
Montana girl. and she punched out bis
eyes with a parasol. Detroit white
bears are somewhat better treated -
Free Press
Statistics show that small boy will
go three miles out of bis way to -steal
Watermelons from a man who thinks be
has planted his watermelons where nc
one can find them.
Milton SAYS that "beauty is Gods
handwriting" Milton didn't know any
thing about paint, powder, balm, )angs
bustles and false eyebrows, or be
wouldn't have written that.
We know lady who never hurries
her dressmaker She waits until all the
neighbors get through with her, this
lady, by the way, Is the best posted or
village news Of any person in town.
One ought to reverence bis Bible, ,but,hs
ought to do it intelligentlv.' A country
man who had two sons called them, &C
he said, after the minor prophets, nam.
Ii ing the one Nmrod and the othey Ram
rod.
Vast flocks of sheep are owned il
Australia, one msn having 500, 900 ami
mails, another 1856 600. the Australian
land company 100000, and numerou,
other proprietors from 100000 down
wards.
Caught in the act: "Clara: 80. Char
ley, you naughty boy! f'saw you throw
your cigar away just as | came around
the corner" Charley: "Why didn't yo,
say you wanted it? How was l e
know2"
An old maid of Plattsburg, Mo-, ha.
five trained cats. On bed, in sleep
ing apartment, are to be seen five LITTLE
pillo ws, b handsomely decorated with lace
fringe and gay ribbons, and on these
the five cats sleep.
1t is not safe to argue that reviva
Of business is at hand just because your
wife has succeeded in disposing Of your
second best suit OF clothes in exchange
for great plaster-of-paris parrot with 6
tomato -colored beak.
The new roof on the cupola of St
Peters cathedral, st Rome, is divided
into sixteen sections, each one requiring
1000, pounds OF lead. 1t was be-
gun seventeen years ago, and will mol
be finished for two years longer.
The symptoms Of worms are well
known, but they frequently occur when
there are no worms present. The bowels
are torpid. engorged, or constipated.-
OF course vermifuge fails to give re-
lief. DENIa's Worm SYRUP is just the
thing needed, and will cure.
A missionary orator stood on a sgd
nev platform Before him was larg,
audience, which included many daiHtily
hammered ladies He had to describ,
the "customs" of certain savages, and
of course, everybody wanted to knoy
how the darkies dressed. And this i
how be put it. sThey had" he said
"only a single article Of attire, and ths
was a fg-leaf, which was still on i,s ms
tive tree. quarter OF mile off" Hav
ing thus sdroily disposed OF his diff
Guilty, he passed on to more congenia