National Republican. (Washington City (D.C.)) 1872-1888, 1881-01-01
WESTMINSTER SCHOOL.
TRAMP ON "RESULTS."
" mat He Wanted to Get At-1is Wonder
Eui SfatisfIcaI InfocIn lion.

/
! AZ want to know whether your paper is run in
the interest of favored few, pro bono publico."
Thus said visitor to the Detroit Free Press ed
| itorial rooms. He was gaunt and hungry look
ing: he was ragged and apparently hard up; he
was unwashed and unkempt; but he read the
| papers
| Ever since lection he went on, as he pushed
| off his hat and took chair, 1--WE read of Wander
bilt on the Result Jay Gould on the Result,
'Beecher on the Result and score of others on
the result. That's all right; but the poor man
wants to be heard on the result, too. Now, then,
| I'm regular built tramp. Pm shot-proof, nom
| freezable, and have the cheek of whole session
of Congress. 1 represent one hundred thousand
men. beg; pick up things; but I'm represent
| alive of party. We have no name and we don't
vote, but there's army Of just tie same, and
| we want to be heard from on the result"
| "Well, you can state your opinions"
Thanks. Now then, to begin with, the Demo
| cratic party had no new issues. They had good
candidate, but they could not convince the coun-
| try that there was need of a change We fellers
realized this sooner thon you did, and we talked 1t
| over under hay-stacks and upon hay-mows. Lots
ofwheat plenty of fruit, big crop of turnips-weve
| just grown fat this year. We let well enough
alone, and it's the same with other classes
go on"
| "Now, as to results. There won't be any more or
| any less tramps. It's become regular business,
| same as any other, and the ranks will keep about
so full. The number of shot-guns held in reserve
| for our class viii diminish, good crops and good
| time make people more free-hearted l haven't
been shot at but three times this whole year"
That's falling off,.
"Guess it is! There won't be much falling off
in the number of watch-dogs, but more of them
will be tied up in the daytime. 1 estimate that
5000 additional dogs will be tied up during 1881,
and this will afford us great relief 1 think I've
seen change in the last two weeks"
| "Quite likely"
| I'm sure have. Thirteen of us had sort of
| convention out in the suburbs yesterday, and we
agreed that 1881 would be the best year yet for old
clothes-that is, the public will pursue a more
liberal policy toward our class. During the past
| campaign when the election was in doubt, it was
the hardest work in the world to get an old coat
or used-up hat. In the last two weeks I've got
| almost enough old dudS TO carry through the
| winter"
| "Thats encouraging"
isn't it though! think the number of women
who slam doors in our faces will drop fully fifty
per cent. before the close of another year. 4
change is already here. This forenoon called at
nine different houses and had the doors of only
| three slammed on my toes. A month ago eight
doors would have hit me with a bang, and the
ninth would have opened to let a man out to kick
me through the gate"
"You must feel thankful"
| "Well, yes; though have always contended
that perseverance would make our business sue
cess Another result of the election is better food
for us. Two months ago was glad enough to get a
bone and piece of dry bread. Now we get about
! the as the family eats
| Have you been kicked this week."
| THAT'S another result want to speak Of was
| in Detroit for a week in September, and 1 was
kicked out of thirteen yards. I've been here Just
| q week to-day, coming from Indiana, and not a
boot has touched me. The Republicans feel too
good to boot me- and the Democrats feel too proud
to vent their disappointment by kicking ragged
| tramp. My fiscal year ends November of each
year. From November, 1879, to November, 1880
| was kicked 1873 times. I've got days and dates
weeks as basis, estimate that shall not receive
over sixty kicks the coming year-perhaps not
over thirty Now, then, have You got il all down ~
| "Yes'
well, that's about all. We tramps feel in tip-top
spirits, and look forward to fat times. Money is
going to be easy, people will feel good-natured,
and amer of lots of old clothes and plenty TO eat
seems to have dawned for u.s. Kinder sorry for your
party, but you hadn't the issues / did think of
striking you for quarter, but guess I'll let that
go. can pick it up somewhere during the day,
and if 1 don't odds is the difference. Plenty of
boxes and Railways to sleep in around here, and
Sunday is the best day in the week to secure pro-
| visions. Well all day to you. 1 must be looking
around for an old oyereoat Such mornings as
this kinder give fellow the cold shake