Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1881-08-26
A MUCH ABUSED TERM.
Courtesy Not Kindness-The Mis-
take Ladies Make In the NOmeR-
cIature of Society.

Editor Morning NesOs: Is it tasteful, right
and appropriate to refer to the gallantrIes,
courtesies, attentions, ciyilities and acts of
politeness of a society beau toward lady as
kindress on his partg Such is the term now
a-dsys, and 1 think it inappropriate. A little
discussion had on the subject has induced
the following reflections:
Kind, according to authoritative defni
tion, would convey: having, or showing, a
humane disposition; goodness Of heart.
Synonyms: Benevolent, gracious, mild,
indulgent, feeling, compassionate, tender,
sympathetic and the like.
The feeling of kindness Is not excited IN
less nloUed or called upon, and can only be
exercised upon fitting opportunity. Thus
one to receive is benefits must be In a
state to excite humane" or kindred feel
ings. Exercised, then, towards any one in
society life, would call it humane gdliantTY,
benevOlence, compassion, graciousness or
something of the sort; but this form of
kindness can only be shown in a few in
stances, for certainly the association tOgeth
er Of ladies and gentlemen does not call for
it. l admit that one may show kindness to
q neglected lady at bali II he does foE her
that which he would not otherwise do II hi.
goodness Of heart" had not been excited;
the general rule, and ask If, on general
principles, society acts Of gallantry are acts
of kindness! Are gallantry and kindness
Synonymous 1t is kindness when an act
springs from disinterested good feelings;
1t is gallantry when from gender, instinct,
male. The first is elevated, aspiring, moral,
and on a higher plane; the second is more Of
a pTOpensity, and has its qualification. A
finely constituted man may be both; thus
humanelY-gallant;n an inferior man is apt
to be only the latter, and who has not seen
a very gallant man and yet not kind
Kindness expects no recompense; gal
lantry comes out full fed. | do not mean
that gentleman needs not to carry his
kindness into society life, but | did not
know that there was presented such a field
for the display of the quality. While
kindness can be shown anywhere, yet it
finds its exercise In serious fields, and Is
only found in society in the measure that
the serious creeps 10. Thus, may say 1t is
q serious thing for the neglected lady, and
therefore kindness goes out to her But,
everything being equal, is a beau kind
without any twisted sense) towards q lady
in what he does for the pleasure and agree
ableness Of the occasion, and In which he
shares (for it is much on the guild pro quo
plaD). Society men do not claim the com
plimentary illusions so often heard to the
effect that they are kind, and while graft
tude is fine trait, the ladies ought not to
make manly modestY painful.
Those In society who use the term pervert
its meaning. They call those kind who are
attentive, gallant, agreeable, polite, some
times generous-catering to the little wants
Of the ladies, and who, Of course, II sincere,
are moved by good feelings enough, but
certainly not by kindness In its meaning as
we have seen.
The neglected lady would not feel fat
tered to think that her tardY gallant's stten-
lions proceeded from his kindness and good
ness Of heart Tin this case true enough, but
here she would not like to recognize it),
and all of the sex would abandon the term,
did they see 1t in its true Specification.
They mean by it something else, and l OBJ
ject to the error. Custom, which is so indie
pendent, is beginning to sanction the
change OF definition, or making 1t very
broad, and we are accepting 1t, but change
it is nevertheless.
As conclusion, think l can logically
demonstrate my idea to be correct by the
following sYllogism:
1. Kindness IL benevolence, indulgence,
mildness, graeiousness, humane disposition,
goodness Of heart, sympathy and feeling.
(See best authorities).ss
2. No lady can receive the benefits OF
kindness unless her state warrants, calls for,
or invites it. (This is self-evident for can
benevolence be exercised unless there is
something to excite benevolence humane
disposition, unless something to call for
feelings Of humanityi indulgence, unless
something to indulges etc.
Conclusion : A lady who is acted by kindly
is In state to excite goodness OF heart, hu-
name feelings, indulgence, sympathy, feel
ing, graclousness, etc.
viii the ladies admit this ? II not, they
use the wrong term ENQUIRER.