The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1881-08-25
MRS. sPooPEHpYKEK KEEPS THE FAM.
ILY ACCOUNTS.

'Now, my DEAR" said Mr.. SpoOpendyke 'sif
you'll bring me that pen and ink, Ill look over
your accounts, aud straighten 'em out for YOU
l think your idea of keeping an account of the
daily expenses is the best thing you ever did.
It's business-like, and want to encourage you
in it.r
"Here's the ink,z said Ms. spoopondyke,
growing radiant at the compliment. 81 had the
pen day before yesterday. Let me Think
And she dove into her work-basket, and then
glanced neryously under the bureau.
well, do You suppose I'm gaipy to split up
my nnger, and write with that 7" demanded Mr..
Spoopendyke. "Where's the peni l want the
pen"
81 put it somewhere" said Mrs spoopendyke.
'Ah. here have it. Now You see,S she contin-
ued. II put what money l. spend down here.
This is your account here, and this is the joint
account. You know"
What's this :" asked Mr.: spoopendyke.
''That's your account. This"
second line.D
"Thatf Oh, that's q"
"Spose / ever spent seven dollars with q tail
like that to it'll lfyOu're going to mako figures,
why don't you make tlguresf What do you
want to make picture or a prize fight in a col
umn of accounts for! What is this elephant do
ing here"
II think that's a g" replied Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke. dubiously. "SIay be it's "A. can tell
by adding it up"
w nat are You gong 10 add up! Dye count
in this corner-lot, and that rOse-bush, and this
pair of suspendersf Dye add them in T.
That's 6, and that's 5, and the last is an
8. They come ont all right, and during the last
month you have spent more than and the joint
accpunt tngether."
"HS Haven sa sl,asf When did spend lh's ''
That amt boat. It's si2 for your suit"
swell, this tramp fishing off roek-when did
! spend hint"
at amt tramp. It's SO cash you took, and
don't know what you took il for. Look Mt my
account now"
whats the man pulling gig 7"
ats nothing of the sort. That amt gig;
it's 81 for wiggin. You see, I've only sllrnt
iTenI; Two dsllals " t4egiH, I'D yaii'fe spent
"fou can't tell by this what Eve d0ne,"
growled Mr.. spO0pendyko. whats this rat
trap doing In the Joint account Z"
That's fourteen cents for fruit. when you
were sick"
"And this measIy looking old hen-what's she
got to do with il 7"
That's no hen. That's p 1t means two
dollars for having yOnr chair mended."
"What have You charged me with this old
grave yard for ~
That's fifteen cents, for sleeve-elaSties. The
Is amt plain. but that's what il is"
SLOW do you make out have spent 80 much :
Where are the vouchers' Show me the vouch-
ers"
~ dan't knnw what you meal,' said Mrs,
spOOpendyke; "but you spent all that I've put
down."
Haven't done anything of the sort. Show
me some vouchers. Your accounts hnmbug.
YOu don't know how to keep an account"
''Yes, do" pleaded Mrs. Spoopendyke, land
think it's all right"
'sNO, you don't. What do You mean by getting
mp engravings of u second hand furniture store,
aud claiming that it's my account You're n
great book keeper, you are. All yon want is a
sign hung between you and the other side of the
street to he n commercial college. II l ever fail
in business, I'm going to fill you up with bench
es and start night school. Give me that PEN "
And Mr., Spoopendyke began running up the col
INNS. s"rwo twos IogF and sigli lEeiie, aud
four sixteen and ealry one To the next, and three
is four: Herei this is wrong. You've got an Il
for 20 here.H'
'Eh r. jerked ont Mrs. Spoopendyke.
''This is s20I not slSI. knew you couldn't
keep accounts. You can't even add np.'
THAT makes your account even bigger, re-
sponded Mrs. SPoopendyke. 81 didn't think il
| vas 20 much"
| Slam went the book across the room, followed
| by the pen; and the ink would have gone too,
but Mrs: spoopendyke eantiegsly placed it ont
of harms way.
bod CAST it, howled Mr. Spoopendyke, as
he tore off his clothes, and prepared for bed
| ''lou amt fit to have pen and ink. Next time
| want my accounts kept, I'll keep 'em chained
up in the yard; and don't You go near 'em
| Hear mef'
"Yes, dear" sighed Mrs. Spoopendyke, as she
| Slipped the obnoxious hoax into a drawer
| BrootLyP EdyIs.