Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1881-04-22
Detroit Currency.

fras Is ssssafraw.
A DetIoiitr thought Salvini an
Irishnau because of ills strong brogue
on the stage.
Only two months more with the or"
in tntrn. ar YOU saltirg do.n your
sha'e oi oysters?
When oil oli c1rd player asked Gen.
GA,iirli how lie VAS gong TO Washiug-
toD, the latter answered, II pass"
B:rnhardt thinks there is too much
repper used III American cooking
Ho" does she like the spice in the news
papers?
a s;atissician says a man stands six
teen chances to Ae killed by ligLtnius
to Que Of being worth a million Of
money.
The Philadelphia Times says that all
the RoUdnt ~ III a Womau's heart L. be-
'rsyed i'll her kiss. He's young mat
rItu man.
Johu Cbiraman is pretty level on top
the head when he say: 1.-The man
VII" will not change his opinions will
not correct his mistakes"
You can tell raerciful farmer as
soon rs he stops his team ut post. He
takes the blahket # his wife's lap aud
spreads it over the poor horses.
The builders Of the East river bridge
hope % have it so far completed by July
that suiclders can make use of it with
ont interrupting the workmen
Said the good old fighting Peter Cart
wright: Among my best friends are
The men whom had to knock down be-
fore they would take an introduction
to me-"
The New York Post rays that the
Goddess OF LiDetty takes the liberty of
dressing herself as much like Il bur
iesque actress AS Is Consistent with the
views held by Pilgrim fathers.
Next year they are going to have
steamers which will eros, the ocean In
seven days. This il three days for seu
sickness. two for recovery, and the 9TH
er two for watching out for land.
The finger Rugs of this country are
worth $5S 900 OUJ, and are ut no earth
~ account u the wearers. just think
how many cigar stores could be opened
on that much wealth.
Put two ,ats under an old barn aud
go off to Europe ami let them alone for
five Years, ana when you return you
will oe able to count % 600 rat tails
1t Is bdtter than compound interest.
The New York Legislature has re-
iusei to act Oh bill to call the hours
If time up to twenty-four, but the
char &c must come sooner or later. Tul>
having two q o clocks twelve hours u
part is oil Nonsense.
liza young man can make half mil.
lion dollars ny marrying his grandnoth
r., that S his st, eak Of luck, and q fur
better tnins than working behind II
counter tor $l2 per. week. just let
Joung Coutts alone.
There are three kinds of artificial
butter In the market. and IA person of
Dad taste il 1T last abund.nLiy pro-
tyfore, III order to get poor butter, they
have had to let good butter spoil.
George Francis Train kept still for
tx months and then rushei down to
Fullon Market and offered bis heart
and hand TO willow who does tue
cooking for lunch stand. He isn't 30
very crazy, though, i'll wanting q wife
vino can cvok.
When Athens was in its glory as a
seat of knoal Adge not one basluess man
III seven couid write his mans, aud pro.
fessijla assassl asked only S12 TO- put
IN enemy OUT of the way. II mem Der
hase httIs things when you read OF the
glory of AlheDs.
Moutclair is delightful town in New
Jersey, celebrated for diphtheria aud
mad dogs. 1t is dull day when there
is no mad dog to create all excitement.
The other day, the village was enlivened
10y two mad dogs at once. An unthiDk
ing person might imagine that two mad
dogs would be twice III bad ~ ono mad
dog. This L. IL mistake. The two NJ.
DIS met aud fought and killed each
other. Therefore, two mad dogs, when
they meet ard fight, are equal to no
dog at ali, q E. d.
The Rev. Miss Anna Oliver is a
Brooklyn clergywoman. Sue owns the
chuch building herself, and she dis
penses religion quite Independent Of
conference or other authority. Brook
Ign has more kinds of religion to the
.quare inch than any other city in the
world and the Rev. Anna has her own
peculiar species. She has just come
out in favor of having no church fairs,
or similar devices for increasing the
revenues of churches. The Rev. Anna
certainly will have the sentiment of a
large portion of the community with
her.
Everybody laughs, including the
Eugliehmen themselves. at the long
string of titles attached to the name of
Thotmes III. as discovered on the
obtllsk. The Golden Horns, the
Strong Arm, the Strong Bnii, the Son
of the Sun, the Lord of the Two
Worlds, Friend of the Great God Tum,
and Of the Circle of His Divinlties, etc.
Bat Ill Eagl,shman grows very sober
aud even an American does not think 1t
very ridiculous to read this: Her Ora
cious Majesty Victoria, by the Grace of
God @ ieen Of Great Britain and Ire
land, Defender OF the Faith, Enpress
Of the Indies, etc.
The reason that France shnt ont
American pork from that country is be-
cause it is jealous OF Cincinuati. That
ctty il getting 30 beautiful that it calls