The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1881-08-18
The Sentry of the World.

a special correspondent says-desiring tC
get the opinion Of that celebrated amateur
astronomer, Mr. Samuel Longhorne Clemens
on the new comet, visited his house thi.
morning just before daybreak. His pasa
sionate fondness for observing celestial phe
nomena Is we'll known. l was confident
that should find him at his telescope il
the turret that caps the northeast corner o
his extraordinary mansion. A few dire ctct
pebbles brought him to the window
"tlellol said he. "Come up but don't
wake tho baby. Mind the sixth stair OF
the second flight it crcaks hatles Of {
talsetto.' So saying he let down his dool
key at the end OF string,
When reached the tur1ct my friend was
no longer inside. He waa sitting in an
open scuttle leading TO the roof, smoking {
cigar. With both hands be grasped long
pole. When it grew light pc, celvcd that
1t was boat-hook. His face had haggard
look, and his long legs hung listlcssly
through the scuttcwuy "Yon look tired
Mark" said |. Have you been at ii ali
night9"
''All nlght3" said he, with groan that
consisted of a vowel and two consonaut
sounds. 'All night2" This makes the fourth
consecutive night that | haven't closed
constant responsibility is undermisnlng my
constitution. My senses of duty IS rs strong
as the next mans but sometimes feel like
letting 20 my grip, even If the condemned
planet slides into the revised version of
birthstone. All n!ght2 Good nightl Some
other night"
There was degree of evaporation IN
his tone which the circumstances did not
seem to warrant. "Wcll," said |, "lhcres
no occasion for anger. Nobody compcls
you to sit up here in The malarious morning
atmosphere and early dew"
He looked for minute as If he was
going to break out with torrent of obiur.
CATION. Then he mascsed his wrath and
gazcd down upon NE with an expression of
melancholy pity.
The tail of that comet" sad he, sadly
waving the end of his pole toward the nor
thcrn sky, "Is, according tony calculations,
trlfie over forty-two million miles long;
yet 1t wouldn't reach more than a quarter
way through the skulls of some people that
| know. The reckless ignorance Of man
kind amazcs me more and .more the older
grow. Why don't 1 20 TO bed2 Yes it
would be perfectly easy and naturally
thing to 60 to bed, wouldn't it, now7 Per
haps l had better go to hcd.n And he
laughed derisivcy.
"What IN the name of common sense are
you driving at Clcmens2" | demanded.
"Oh, nothing at ALL" he replied, with a
sardonic wave of his pole "No,hing cx-
cept that while tho mad rcvelry of the world
goes on below, and the Multitude purs,lcs
its wontcd avocatio IS precisely as though IL
universal catastrophe was not imminent,
one solitary watcher sits up here in his
lonely tower, Drawing danger and incurring
great fatigue for the rake of his infatuated
fellow beings. There have been examples
OF such devotion to duty in history, but
they are rare, and it has always been left 10
postersty to recognize them. At the present
moment fill the post of lookout to the
planet, young mnlI. You will find set
down in the tensls The exact number of icl-
low citizens whose existence depends upon
my vigilance. That's all Pm driving at ="
saw now pretty well how things were
with lny friend. So, to hllmor hlm, |
gravcly remarked: 81 always knew YOUR
philantroLy, AIark. Yet must shy that
this last undertaking surprises me-"
lie Immediately became alrablc and even
confidential. e''Thcrc is II good deal Of the
true Christian spirit OF sclf-dcuiaI in 1t, isn't
there, now lon see, they arc all wrong
about the tail. I've ciphcrcd on that tail
until understand every inch OF il. It's
absurd to suppose that the tail isn't solid,
and pretty tough, to DO you imap inc that
this comet could go bulgng through space
at the rate Of TWO hundred miles second
without knocking spots out Of a tail that
was vapor? Tie a log bank on to the rear
end of the New York and Boston four
O'Clock express, start her of even at forty
miles IN hour, and see how long your fog
bank will travel in company with your
locomotive. Yet they ask us to swallow
this internal nonsense about the comets
tail. My observations of this fellow, and
also Of Coggia's comet, seven years ago,
have convinced me that comets tails are las
tened on tight, andarc of Il iibrous and duln
bic nature, like Hartford bcctstcak."
"And what do you propose to do with
your polc2 asked.
"Grcat CTSar!' he exclaimed. "With
tail forty-two million miles long, three
millions miles thick, and tough rs whip
leather, whisliing about in the wake OF
that piratlcal craft every time she tacks
overhead, don't you see the necessity Of
keeping q cool-hcadcd and muscular man
on deck here to tend oil, in case the cusscd
thing whisks this way2"