The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1881-09-29
Hnw We Adrartias.

"Can l see tie patriot Of this printn'
l millP' inquired q man with 4 forty
mule power voice, recently, at the
Eagle counting room.
Were all in that line; what would
/ you ike?' replied one of the clerks.
'Tm an orator" said tie stranger.
I'm doin' q big Fourth Of July busi-
, ness this year, and I want to make
contract TO advertise Your paper"
81 reckon not" replied the clerk.
I'VE don't care for that sort of thing"
do you up in SIX speeches for sixtv
dollars. Ring you in three times Just
| before applause in each speech for sew
entv-dYe, or have YOU followed bv pro-
lOnged enthusiasm for q hundred AMI
fifty. PVe got two clothing stores and
q barber shop, and if I can get YOU and
9 patent medicine, Pm big winner on
the day. Make it q hundred for pro-
longsi applause and Tl' throw in an
UDroari0Us laughter. COmer'
Il don't see hOw you're going to do
It, ~ suggested the mystifed clerk.
''EasT as greaqsi l would say, And
now, fellow citizens, the very tree that
George Washington shinned in escap-
NJ from the carnage OF Fort Greene
throws q shadow on the celebrated
clothing house Of Blobbs, Dobbs
Brothers & Co., while Tire peaceful
razor oi SIMON Stern flashes whsre
flashed the brutal bayonets Of the hire
ling Hessian,. and the gore Of that
frightful Eeld has blended its coIors in
the ready made suits for cash Of Single
q Sing, wholesale and retail, while
P5y's S omaoh b. ters assuags tLe ories
Of mourning generation, and the
Br7oklyG Eagle sings tae proud squaWk
Of fec 'om for tJr millions who-and
there pm going lo ring in some sewing
machine company, or @ frs class hotel.
if I r7n get the order"
Couldn't Won say more about the
Eagle for the money! asked the clerk
with en- eve single to business.
Chow much do you exaect? demand
ed the orator, Indignantly.
'YOu might get in the sUbscrj ption
price and the advertising rates, with q
brief description If the editorial policy
and our facilities for getting news, be-
sides Il schedule Of our prices for ] b
work. and the advantages medium. I'll
furnish YOU with q list OF stockholders
aud the names of the employees, and
you might examine the files for any
thing else you'd like to throw in.
Couldn't do it for that money" re-
spouded the orator, making q hurrieI
calculation on the margin Of the Fourth
Edition; ''at least, 1 couldn't promise
it on prolonged applause, or UprOari-
Gus laughter, or even laughter, or even
enthusiasm. I might run it through
the speech, or could give part of it in
one speech and part in auOther?"
Don't think we can trade, them"
said the clerk, with a disappointed air.
"You wOuIdn'tcare to have 1t slipped
in with q burst Of elJquence on Dust 8
Sliver's coal and wood yardP I'll tell
you what I'll DO. Come, now. I'll
put It in with a couple Of seaside re-
sorts and a fish stand, for a hundred"
Won't do" said the clerk, positive
". ut must 60 in all alone and must
have applause after the advertising
rates and widest enthusiasm after the
Job Office"
"Then it's off," sighed the orator.
II can't make those terms with the
committees. Do you know anything
about this restaurant below? Think I
could get EN- for q ten or tWenty?'
81 reckon, if you take it ont in trade"
Good enOugh" cried the orator,
Frightening up. That's better thsn no
speech Much obliged, old man! So longl
Verify are we nation Of advertisers. -
Brooklyn Eagle.