davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Claiborne guardian. [volume] (Homer, La.) 1877-188?, 1881-02-09
Editorial Thanksgiving.

a brakeman in a provincial town,
invited home one Of the deacons OF
the Chapel he attended. The guest
offered a blessing at the table, which
proceeding, greatly excited the cur
iosity of the gent1eman's Eve year
old son, who sat beside the deacon
aud interrogated him on the sub.
ject.
"what was that you saidS" he
began.
at was blessing on the food We
are about to eat" replied the dea-
con.
"a whatfr
"Why, blessing! Doesnt your
father ask a blessing At the tableV
"Oh, yes; but he does not say +
ia that way" "a
"How docs he say itr =
"Why he sits down and locks q
the table, and says oh, the devW
Is this all Yen have got fss dinsssV
and goes to eating"
Claiborne guardian. [volume] (Homer, La.) 1877-188?, 1881-02-09

say the gentleman from Missouri
has no river within the limits Of bis
own State that compares in any
sense with the Tugaloo; and If he
would devote some of the extreme
energy which he has devoted to the
development of the muddy streams
of his own territory to the develop
ment Of such a stream as the Tug.
aloo and the waters of which it is
one of the tributaries, it might per.
haps be better tor the country.
Mr.. Talbot. Will the gentleman
allow me to ask him one question.
Mr.. Speer. Certainly.
Mr.. Talbot. What is the width
Of that streamf
Mr.. Speer. That stream is a
great deal broader, | believe, than
the comprehension of the gentleman
from Maryland. Laughter and
applause.
And this was kept up until 6
o'clock in the morning. The speech,
es, and miserable attempts at wit
and sarcasm, a few of which / an.
mex above, occupied 20 pages of the
Congressional Record, printed at
the peoples expense. After being
in session all night the consequence
was that the House met next day
without transacting any business,
adjourned over until Monday.
There is no particular interest in
all this, but it goes to show one
phase Of National legislation, and
about how much the average Con.
gresham cares for his constituency,
or their pockets, when he gets to
Washington. Like many young
beaux, he is all smiles and promises
before marriage; but, atterward, he
does just as he pleases and doesn't
care a-darn. j. NJ. S.
Claiborne guardian. [volume] (Homer, La.) 1877-188?, 1881-02-09
Tho Strong Man.

Strength of character consists OF
two things-pOwer of will and pow.
er OF selfrestraint. IL requires two
things, therefore, to Its existence
strong feelings and strong command
over them. Now it is here we make
great mistake. We mistake
strong feelings for strong character.
A man who bears all before him,
before whose frown domestics trem.
BILE, and whose bursts Of fury make
the children Of the household quake
because he has his will obeyed
and his own way in all things-we
call him strong man. The truth
is, that is the weak man; it is bis
passions that are strong; he, mas
tered by them, is weak. ion must
measure the strength Of u man by
the power of those which subdue
him. And hence compOsure is very
often the highest result of strength.
Did We ever see Dau receive
fragrant insult and only grow lit
tie pale and quietly replyf That is
q man spiritually strong. Or did
we ever see q man in anguish stand
as if carved out of sold rock, mas
tering himselH Or one bearing q
hopeless daily trial remain silent,
and never tell the world what cank-
cred his home peacei That is
strength. He who with strong pas
sions remains cbaste; no who keen
" sensitive, with manly powers Of
indignation in him, can be provOk-
ed and yet restrain himself and for
give-these are the..strong men, the
spiritual heroes.
Claiborne guardian. [volume] (Homer, La.) 1877-188?, 1881-02-09
A Drunkards SoIiloquy.

Lets see where am II This is coal
rm lying on. How'd 1 get heref
Yes, l mind now; was coming up
street; met q wheelbarrow wat was
drunk coming 'tother way. That
wheelbarrow fell over me, or fell
over the wheeibarrow, and one of us
fell into the cellar, don't mind now
which, guess it must have been me.
I'm a nice young man, yes l am
tight, stone drunk, shot. We'll
cant help it, faint my fault, wonder
whose fault it is, is it Jones FAULTY
No, is it my wife's fault Well it
amt. Is it tue wheeIbarrow's faulti
no, it's whisky's fault. Whisky,
who's whisky Has he got large fam.
ilyi Got many relations, all poor
reckon. l wont own him any more
cut his acquaintance. Fve had
notion of doing that for the last ten
years; always hated to, though, for
fear of hurting his feelings. I'll
do it now, for l believe liquor is
injuring me, its spoilin' my temper.
Sometimes l get mad and abuse
Bets and the brats. used to call
them Lizzie and the chiidren-that's
good while ago though. Then
when l come home she used to put
her arms around my neck aud kiss
me and call me dear William. When
come home now she takes her pipe
out of her mouth, puts the hair out
of her eyes, and looks at me and
says: "Bill, you drunken brute, shut
the door after you. We're cold
enough, havin' no fire, thout lettin'
the snow blow in that way Yes,
she's Bets and I'm Bill now. / amt
a good Bill, neither; I'm counterfeit;
wont pass tavern without goin' in
and getting a drink. Don't know
what bank I'm on. Last Sunday
was OH the river bank, at the corn
exchange drunk. stay out pretty
late, sometimes I'm out all night,
when Bets bars the door with a bed
post. Fact is, I'm pretty much out
all over-out of friends, out Of peck.
ct, out at elbows and knees, and out
rageously dirty, so Bets says, but
she's no judge, for she's never clean
herself. l wonder she don't wear
good clothes. Maybe she amt got
any. Whose fault is that Taint
mine. 1t may be whisky's. Some.
times Pm in; I'm in .toxicated now,
and in some body's coal cellar. I've
got one good principle-I never runs
in debt because nobody won't trust
me. One of my coat tails is gone,
got tore of, I expect, when l fell
down here-I'll have to get Q new
suit soon. A fellow told me 'tother
day I'd make good sligo for pa
Claiborne guardian. [volume] (Homer, La.) 1877-188?, 1881-02-09
Mark Twain on Babies.

Mark Twain having been asked
to contribute to the newspaper is
sued ut the fair in aid of abused
children in Boston, wrote: "Wby
should want a Society for the Pre-
vention, of Cruelty to Children to
prosper, when l have a baby down
stairs that kept me awake several
hours last night, With no pretext for
it but q desire to make troublef
This occurs every night and it EN-
bitters me, because / see now how
needless it was TO put in the other
burglar alarm, q costly aud conpli.
Gated continuance, which can not be
depended upon, because its always
getting ont of order and won't 'go;'
whereas although the baby is al
ways getting out of order, too, it
can nevertheless be depended on,
for the reason that the more it gets
out of order the more it does go.
Yes, | am bitter against your socie-
ty, for think the idea of it il al
wrong; but if you will start Society
for the prevention of Cruelty to Fa-
theirs, | will write yeu a whole
book
Claiborne guardian. [volume] (Homer, La.) 1877-188?, 1881-02-09
b. K. COLEMAN,
PARISH SURVEYOR,

WILL attend promptly and efficiently
w 10 a. business in his line. Charges
moderate. Residence : miles southeast OF
Homer. on Trenton road. 7. o., Homer.
Aug. ~, f-77. T.!
Claiborne guardian. [volume] (Homer, La.) 1877-188?, 1881-02-09

per mill. If he hadn't been 30 big
I'd licked him. I've had this
shirt on nine days. I'd take it of
but I'm afraid I'd tear it. Guess l
tore the window shutter OH my
pants when I sot OH the wax in
Ben Shifts shoe shop. III have to
get it mended up or Ill catch cold.
amt very stont, neither, though
Pm full in the face. As the boy
says, 81 am fat rs match and
healthy as the small pOx.' My hat
is standin' guard for Q window pane
that went out at the Invitation of o
brick bat It's getting cold down
here. Wonder how I'll get out l
ANT able to climb. Ii l had drink
think l conld do it. Let's see, l
Amt got three cents. Wish was
in a tavern. l could sponge IL then.
When anybody treats and says
"come fellows" always think my
name is fellows, and I've got too
good manners to refuse. must
leave this place or III be arrested
for burglary, and l amt come to
that yet. Anyhow u was the wheel.
barrow did the harm, not me-
ElocutiORists Journal.
Claiborne guardian. [volume] (Homer, La.) 1877-188?, 1881-02-09

Professional aud business cards, of ten
lines or less in length. sl5 per annum; for
six months. $40; for three months, 81
BnSiuess Advertisements of greater length
will be inserted at above rates.
Lcusl advertisements will be charged at
legal rates, where fixed by law; otherwise
1T special rates as published above.
~ Special notices 20 cents per line.
Funeral notices of less than ten lines,
and marriage aud religious notices inserted
gratis.
Job-vork executed in the ncatest style.
and at reasonable prices.
August %, l-77
Claiborne guardian. [volume] (Homer, La.) 1877-188?, 1881-02-09
MINDEN HOTEL.

THE travelling public and regular board
/ ers will find this house IA comfortable
and well supplied as the resources aud con-
ltion of the country will permit. The
charges are very reasonable. The Stage
Stand is kept at this Hotel.
! have also attached 10 my 'otel new
and commodious stable, well supplied with
provender and water and IA good ostler al
wnys on hand to attend to stock.
The travelling public Will do well TO give
me call. A. j. REYNOLDS.
Claiborne guardian. [volume] (Homer, La.) 1877-188?, 1881-02-09
Washington Correspondence.
WASHINGTON, ID. e. J
Jan. Goth, 1881. I
CUTHBERT CARY.

Brother Hayes:
Thinking that you would only
like matters of special interest to
your District, and that you can read
the dispatches down there about
as we'll as | can, will send you on
ly a few items.
Last Friday night there was an.
other ruction in the House. The
House was in the Committee of the
Whole, considering the private
calendar, upon which were relief
bills amounting TO near halt mil
lion dollars. Finally, Gen. j. Floyd
King, of Louisiana, moved call
of the House, thinking that in such
an important matter there should
be full attendance. The call
showed that of the 293 members
l2l were present, and l72 were at
home. around the bar rooms, in bed.
or eating swell suppers with the
lobbyists.
Mr.. KING. offer the resolution
which | send to the Clerks desk.
Resolved. That the Sergeant-at
Arms take into custody and bring
TO the bar OF this House such OF
the members as are now absent
without leave.
/ Gen. King then stated to the
House:
Az | have heard some discomfort
expressed Oh the part of some gen
tlemen present, l deem it my duty
/ to state that this determination to
have call OF the House and to
summon members here is not cap.
tious. 1t is known that heretofore
sessions have been held night after
night when there was no quorum
present: and at those sessions i'm.
portant legislation has been enact
ed, bills involving very large
amounts of money have been pass.
/ cd
Mr.. VAN NOORHIS. | rise to a
question of order. | submit that
debate is not in order.
The SPEAKER pro tempore. The
point of order is well taken. There
is no question before the House.
Mr.. KING. ! have the floor,
believe. Laughter, and cries OF
Irregular orderm think it is time
this mockery should be put an end
The SPEAKER pro tempore. The
gentleman from New York makes
the point of order that debate is moi
in order, and the Chair sustains it.
Mr.. KING. That it should bt
decided
The Generals idea was whether
the House really had any power t.
compel the attendance of the PEG
pies representatives who 80 motto
riously neglects their duties. Tit
rule required that the door of th'
House be closed, that the absentee
be brought in under arrest, ant
that those present be compelled u
remain within. But as soon a
some was brought in others wen
out, and the call was merely tn
farcical ending of low comedy
AS a sample of the Generals hilar
ity that prevailed, l annex q fe'
, specimens from the Congressiona
Record, that official nuisance:
Mr.. Steele. / wouh like to kno'
Claiborne guardian. [volume] (Homer, La.) 1877-188?, 1881-02-09
tFor the GUARDIAN.
LIGHT IN the EvEMIlDEl"

The signal lights are swinging
In the distance far ahead,
The chimes of hope are ringing
Their glee songs round my head;
Ny heart is now throbbing,
My soul, too, is sobbing
With blissful pulsations Of joy;
The tlow'rs that were dead,
Aud the hopes that had fed,
Now live without stain or alloy.
The night has been dark,
No ushering dawn
Or roseate flush of the sun,
But now there is born
A mantling morn,
And the nights black course is run.
The hope that now lives
To my own future gives
A promise that's dear unto me,
That this love of my heart
Shall be the best part
OF my life's destiny.
"There will be light in the Eventide,T
Though the storm cloud hangs 50 dreary
Though our pathway now to the other sid
Seems long, 30 long and weary,
The gloom will break and fate will take
Our part in this msddening strife;
Our boat will go, like the transient snow,
And leave no memorial life.
CuTHBERT CARY.
Claiborne guardian. [volume] (Homer, La.) 1877-188?, 1881-02-09

upon the SUBJECT OF veraclty con.
nected with the funding bill.
Laughter.
The Speaker pro tempore. The
gentleman from Iowa has not asked
it.
Mr.. Steele. 1t is a wonder he
has not.
Mr.. Sapp. He has gone to the
restaurant.
Mr.. Steele. He will be 80
thoroughly inspired when he re.
turns that he will he perfectly scin.
tillatic. Laughter. That is big
word for my friend, his colleague.
The deputy sergeant.at-arms ap-
peared before the bar of the House
having in custody, under the order
of the House, Mr.. Anderson and
Mr.. Forsythe.
The Speaker pro tempore. Mr..
Anderson, you have been absent
from the sitting of the House with.
out leave. What excuse have you
to Offeri
Mr.. Anderson. The reason is
simple. Cries of "Louder!' cloud
err
Mr.. Anderson. How much time
have II
Mr.. Hazelton. Let him have as
much time as he wants.
a Member Give him leave to
print.
Mr.. Anderson. The reason of my
absence is because | have been sick
and at home to day. Another rea.
son is that it is physical iDpossi
biiity for the same man to be in two
different places at the same time.
l wanted good company, and |
found it at home.
Mr.. Covert. | move the gentle.
man be excused.
The motion was agreed to.
The Speaker pro tempore. Mr.
Forsythe, you have been absent
/ from the House during its sittings
without leave. What excuse have
you to offeri
Mr.. Forsythe. Mr.. Speaker, l
have been absent. | will admit.
| Cries of Louder One of the
/ first lessons that | was taught in
early life
Mr.. Updegrafi, of Ohio. That is
going back long way.
Mr.. Forsythe. Was that it was
not wise to be out late ut nights;
that people who are accustomed TO
that sort Of thing would probably
come to no good. Laughter. In
pursuance of that
/ Mr.. Van Noorhis. You came
herr-
/ Mr.. Forsythe. was in my room
and had prepared myself
Mr.. Van Noorhis. What for:
Mr.. Forsythe. To retire to my
couch and sleep, perhaps to dream,
when the sanctity and privacy OF
my room was Invaded by the Ser.
geant at. Arms, who informed me
that the light of my countenance
together with my counsel and al
vice, was greatly desired by this
august assembly here tonight
Laughter. | immediately invest
ed myself in that of which | had
Invested myself Laughter.
Mr.. Van Voorhis. What was
that
Mr.. Forsythe. And repaired to
the House in obedience to the com
maHd and tiattering invitation o.
the Sergeant-at.A Arms for my pres
ence here. That is the only reason
| have in the world for being her,
at all.
Mr.. Frost. | desire to make 6
motion which | am confident viii
meet with success. move that tn,
gentleman from Georgia, Mr.
Speer,l who has displayed such {
kindly interest in the proceeding
of this House and in my individual
: welfare, be allowed to address tn,
House upon the Tagaloo and the
necessity Of improving that stream
which | believe flows through hi
district. hope the gentleman
will not be limited as to time.
Several Members. mo objec
tions.7
After a short interval Mr.. Spec
said: I have been rejecting upoI
the aggressive remarks made be
fore this House a moment ago b!
the gentleman from Missouri, MI
Claiborne guardian. [volume] (Homer, La.) 1877-188?, 1881-02-09
r. N. FREEMAN,

(south-west corner of Public Sqnareo
HOMER, LA,
DEALER in Fancy and Family Groeeues'
IL Tobacco, Cigars, Provisions, boo'S'
shoes. Hats. Clothing. Dry Goods, Notions
and full supply of everything kept IN a
general store. The custom Of the public Is
respectfully solicited.
Terms and prices liberal
April Ia, lSS0. Joy
Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1881-04-04
NEW POSTAL REGULATIONS.

The Postmasters in this State have just
received an order making material changes
In the classification Of matter sent through
the mails.
Mailable matter Of the first class shall
embrace all matter wholly or partially In
writing, except as herein provided-Act
March 5, 1879, Section 8, 20 Statute, p.
$50.
The exceptions are - follows
1, Corrected proof.sheets and manu-
script copy accompanying the same.-sec-
.. Dstc and name Of the addressed, and
Of the sender Of circulars, and the correc-
tion Of mere typographical errors therein.
Section a, p.s60.
g. Bills. receipts and orders for subscrip-
tiops inclosed in second-class publ
provided such bills. receipts and orders
shall be in such form - to convey no other
information than the name. location and
subscription price Of the publication or
publications to which they refer. Section
81, p. 36l.
1. The name and address Of the person
to whom second.class matter may be SENT
and index figure Of . subscription book.
and words or figures, or both, indicating
t0o QAto ou WuiSa tho III oosA@
matter will end. Section %, p. $50.
8. Upon matter Of the third.class, or
upon the wrapper inclosing the same. the
sender may write his own name or address.
with theword from" above and preced.
ing the same. and in either case may make
ample marks, intended to designate .
word or passage Of the text to which 1t IL
desircd TO call attention.
6. There may be placed upon the cover
or blank leaves Of any book. or OF any
nrinted matter Of the third-class, . sim
Die manuscript dedication or inscription
Which IL confined to simplss address or
consignment Of such book or printed mat.
Ter, a. . mark Of respect. and must mol
contain anything that partakes OF the na-
ture Of . personal correspondence.
z. Upon matter Of the fourth'ciass tne
sender may write his own name ana "a,
dress preceded BY the word IRON sno
also the number and name OF article In
closed. He may also write upon or sttacn
20 any such articles. by tag or label,
marx or number, name or letter, Tor Pur'
pose Of Identification.
Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1881-04-04
Carpenters Last Point.
Ifilraukee RepsJiiean.

Miiruukse Rcpstiiean.
The bright. .mirthiul soul Of Carpenter
was not ovsrawed even by the shadow OF
death. The evening before be died. and
after he had been told that he could not
survive much longer. he insisted upon
getting up. The attending physicians
forbade the attempt. and were endesvor-
ing to make the Senator remain quiet.
when Judge Macarthur entered the death
chamber. "Is that you. Mac" asked
Carpenter. eyes. Matt; it's /. But
you must lie quiet now" "wsll. Judge,
I'm prepared to argue that motion right
now" Mr.. Carpenter suffered eIcru.
cia,ing pain. aud in his agony wanted
IN explanation OF the cause. "The
pain 10 caused. Senator. replied ply.
sician, "by q stoppags Of the colon. . +.
"S,oppags OF the colon. eh F"-and
again the sense OF humor overcame pain
itself. "w.ll, then. Of course, 1t isn't
q full STOP"
Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1881-04-04
THE MEASURE OF LIFE.
ny BAYARD.


II lives were measured by the good
In words or deeds that men achieve
How few Of Adams children could
Expect the Psalmist's term to live.
II lives were measured by the joys
BY men conferred on other mon.
How few would pass the age Of boys,
How few would care to live again.
II lives we're measured by the sins
And sorrows that We scatter round'
We might outlive the tabled pjinns,
And with Methusslah DO found.
II lives we're measured by mistakes.
By brave designs that come to nouSht,
By all the countless pains and aches
Ourselves upon our hearts have brought
Then might We SCOT at darts Of death,
The weight of growing years defy.
Serenely draw our useless breath,
And live till Time himself should die.
Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1881-04-04
MANHOOD RESTORED.

A victim Of early imprudsnoe. causing nsrv::
ous debility, premature decay. etc.. having TILED
IN vain syery knovn remedy. has discovered
dmpIe means Of selfcure. which hs Win ssnd
free 10 hh fellow.sudsrsrs. Addrses j.. n.
REEVES, - Chatham IT,, MI. oels
Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1881-04-04
TOWN ORDINANCES.
ORDINANCE NO 1903.

An ORDNANCE 70 Fix a.d Collect
= Lieeass Tax Upon Certain
Trsdss asd Basiaess wishia shs
Corporate Limits sf the Tswn ef
Glnlh BIlll
Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1881-04-04

"How 10 it," asked lady. that Time
IN always represented as bald.hesded =
To which gentleman replied. $50 many
have taken Time by tho forelock they
probably pulled out all his hair"
Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1881-04-04

Careful Of his diet.-Lady-"Some-
thing to eat ?" TramP-"Yes'm. But
don't want no quail. cause It's been
awful hard with 'em this winter. and
they have had to feed on all sorts Of
pixen berries"
Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1881-04-04

College wit: "Yes." said the school
Girl who had risen from the lowest to
the highest position In her class, II
shsli have q horse shoe for my symbol.
as II denotes having come from tho
foot T.
Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1881-04-04

"Good by" said Margaret. GOOD
by, Is itf" exclaimed Patrick. delight
edly "Thrus for ys. Maggy, and I'm
jist the by that will niyer DO aisy TIL he =,
shtsnds wild 70 before Father McGrath. y
Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1881-04-04

A country editor recently fell heir to q
fortune, and now refuses to sell out.
He says that for the first time in his LIE
he will be able to give his town better
paper than II deserves without going
hungry.
Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1881-04-04

The King Of Portugal's translation OF
Shakespeare has bad very large sale;
his Majesty's royalty on the translation
has already yielded him $4,000.
Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1881-04-04
ooMxissIon MERCHANTS

SEC. -. Every person or Arm engaged In the
selling OF goods. wares. and merchandise upon
commission, shail pay. quarterly. ior licenes
average monthly salss or receipts. - In the fol
lowing schedule:
First Glass - Monthly sales or receipts
two thousand dollars or over. quarterly license
twenty i've dollars.
eecond ClAss-Monthly sales or receipts unds'
dollars.
Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1881-04-04

Published svssy Wednesday IN the Nsws, y
carefully prepared nom the MOTT AurIu.
the day OF publication. smploying
an able and sficient eorpe OF
reporters. II 10 universally
rscognissd - o11cial, and The
most oonxDcf and kx1A1L1 H..
ths Oonsrocx or "wAsnoI" scction.
We siso eiyc the latest mining iniormatioa
obts,nsSls NON other parts OF the country
Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1881-04-04

Bee. "a The proprietor or manager OF eacf
circus, caravan. or menagerie shall pay license
tor each days performance, % In the following
schedule:
A circus. accompanied By . caravan or me-
nk.eriss, shall constitute the nrst class, and
shSli pay daily license Of twenty-five dollars
A circus. unaccompanicd with caravan OF
menageiie, shAli be 0f the second class, Ano
shAll pay daily license Of twenty dollars.
A caravan or menagerie. unaccompanied VIII
Q circur, shall be VI the third class, and shAl
pay daily license Of ten dollars.