Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1881-02-10
I'LL LIVING ORELlsK.
One Of Mark Twain's Singular Hallu-
cinations

One Of Mark Twain's Singular Hallu-
New Ycvk sun
Although aware that ever since his
speech at the Grant reception Mr..
Clemens has been suffering from melan-
cholia, / did not know until this morn
ing what form the attack had taken. /
met Mr.. J., a common friend of
mine and Clemens, in front of the post
Office. "Have you been up TO Twain's
latelyY' he asked. "No," said /. "Is
anything the matter?" "Well, you had
better go up and see" he replied, with
significant motion Of his right fore
finger.
So proceeded through the damp
chilly air and slushy mud of Christmas
morning TO Twain's bright red mansion
and rang the door bell. Was Mr.
Clemens at homer No, not exactly.
That was 10 say, he wasn't in the house
might find him yonder in the north
yard, behind the barn. / turned up the
bottoms Of my trousers, and trudged
through the mud and snow to the place
indicated by the domestic. There !
discovered the humOrist, standing on an
empty dry goods box. His posture was
very erect. His arms were tightly
pressed against his sides. lie wore q
long ulster. reaching TO his ankles, and
on his head high peaked hat, procured
during his travels in the Tyrol. His
face was solemn.
"Hello. Mark" said I, what are you
doing ON that boxP Merry Christmasr'
lie stflly inclined his head. didn't
you know" he demanded i'm slow. grave
tones, shat | antedate the Christian
era by many centuries? What in
thunder do you mean by talking Christ.
mas I'm my presence?"
Corr, come" said /, mo joking
Get down off the box and go i'm where
it's warm"
eff you refer to the pedestal" he re
piled, III can't get down unless I'm
lowered. And as to the temperature
II has little effect on a monolith, sea
soned as / am seasoned"
"You look like a mOnOlith," admit
ted, Gin that ulster and that hat"
you really think so?" he eagerly
asked. His features relaxed TO an ex
preston something like complacency
and he sat down upon the edge of the
box and began TO drum against the side
with his heels. "YOu really believ,
I'm the genuine. only original obelisk ?
"ObeliskP said /. II saw the Obelsl
day before yesterday i'm New York
They've got II as far rs the trestle work
You're humorist. not an obelisk."
Mark Twain Immediately assembled
the box again, while his features once
more assumed their stony look "Yor
have been imposed upon" he remarked
with great dignity. "That thing in
New York is bogus. 1t is practical
joke of GOrringe's. IL is a Cardin
giant of an Obelsk, u composite plaster
fraud concocted on the voyage over
and palmed Oft ON an unsuspectinl
community. The real obelisk wa,
shipped to Hartford by freight No. 81
New York, New Haven and Hartford
railroad. You behold II mt this identi
cal moment"
/ took of my hat. This seemed I,
FAVtoo nun ~ kOOu uedls
Excuse me" he went on, ''if / am :
trifle touchy on the subject. Ever,
monolith is naturally sensitive wheI
his authenticity is called into question
Don't / appear stiff and hard enough
TO satisfy the most skepticalp"
"YOu look sti1 and hard enough
said i, "but where are your hieroglyph
icsp That's the test of true obelisk-
the hieroglyphics."
Just what expected" he returned
with some show of feeling. "Ther,
don't appear TO be any hieroglyphics
perhaps you think. Singular, but l.,
noticed the fact myself, and it's giver
me considerable concern. - thos,
hieroglyphicsr" he continued, getting
excited. 81 don't know what to max,
OF 1t. Sometimes | think Corning,
took 'em and planted 'em onto his shan
shaft Then think Marshal JEWELS
stolen 'em for n Geographic cipher
Then again surmise that they've
merely struck i'm. and will blossom ont
again rs soon rs I've got acclimated
But you'll allow that it's putting re-
spectacle Egyptian antiquity at n dis
advantage to steal his hieroglyphics
Any fool can come along and say
You're no Obelisk; where the - an,
your hieroglyphicsY"
/ turned sadly away from this ex.
ample Of self-deception. knew il was
no use TO reason with him. Happily
these attacks do not last. as n rule
more than ten days or fortnight. and
the friends of the clever humorist hav,
no cause for serious anxiety on hi.
account"