The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1881-06-30
,HuH0R,
Bellies Of the kitchen-The ring OF the
milkman and butcher.boY.

Bellies Of the kitchen-The ring OF the
milkman and butcher-boy. . yi.e
A church deacon at Tarrytown, N.
had to stop until he could be awakened.
When aroused he jumped up and said
81 vote ayer' The ayes had it. -
In the matrimonial market some
choose the man with the riches and others
the riches without the man. In afte,
life the former live in a flower garden
and the latter in hot-house. .
"You are fond of the British poets,
Miss C?'' 30, awfully .so!'' "Have
you read LambP" ssYes, and with such
pleasurer'a "Are you fond of HoggP'
Eyes, but / do so dread trichinosis!'
William Peters. of Arkansas, sat HIM
self down on the steps of country
church and said there should be no
preaching there that Sunday. After
William had received bullet in the
leg he vacated, and the services were
begun. The text was: why do the
heather rageP"
Said the moderator of the town meet
ing: -.
'.Gentlemen will be seated as far as
they can"'
And one modest individual went to
his home, three miles away. and seated
himself.
He said he'd be darned if he'd go one
step further, and he'd like to see that
moderator, or any one else, make him.
George" she said. nesting he
downy cheek against his olavicle bone,
and speaking in q tone half joyous, half
sad, s.of all seasons love the spring
the best. 1t is so suggestive of the res
direction"
..Mary," he replied, solemnly, re-
moving her head and dusting off his
coat-collar with his handkerchief.
"please don't refer to the dead. would
rather not be reminded that your father
is an undertaken"
1t was in the smoking-room of an
Atlantic steamer that q worthy Teuton
was talking about weather forecasts:
"Look here" said he, II dell you vat
it is-you peter don't dake no shtock
in dem weather predictions. Dose beo-
pie don't know nodding. Dey can't
tell no better as can"
But my dear SIR" said person
present. '.they fore-told the storm which
we have Just encountered.
..vell, dot ish so," said the Teuton.
contemplatively; ''but dell you vat it
is. Dot shtorm would have come yust
the same if it had not been predicted"
'Nfr. Gilhooly." said the boy with the
bill, .the boss told me to tell you to
please pay for them cigars" 5a, tss,4.
How much is the bill?' said Gill
hooly. 49,, .4
cit is only six bits"
81 haven't got any ready money, but
I'll tell you what we will do, which will
answer Just as WE'LL" -5s.ssa,..
.'Yes. SIR" s-...
'.Send me four dollars, and let me
have two-bits worth of cigars. and then
it will be five dollars even. You see I
want to do the fair thing" ss- aii3 9lss
A stranger from Brenham,' by the
name Of Schmitt. who is very precise
in everything he does, on leaving Gal,
weston, of course called for his hotel
bill. He looked over it, and then said
to the waiter: ''' ts'+ =
.sThere is mistake in this bill. You
spell my name with only one t."
..You want an extra tea charged to
You, do you?" responded the waiter,
who took the bill back and had Schmitt
charged fifty cents more for the extra
.st.''S i'v t H.tt 'ft.5 - ''f '."* .-''
.Syzgynoscism" is what DR.. Ham,
mond calls '.the power to commit MUIR
der when asleep" That is the word
we have been trying to think of for
nearly two years. We knew it had
seven gables, portico back and front,
and a mansard roof, but we couldn't re-
call its cognomen. If the doctor calls
the power to commit murder when
asleep "syzgynoscism," we don't want
to see the terrible-looking word he
would apply to the person who murders
sleep by playing on an ACCORDION next